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macfrog · 5 months

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the sweetest con cowboy like me chapter fifteen

well. this is it. we made it, kids. thank you so, so much for reading for all this time. for all your patience, and kindness, and loyalty. i will carry this pair, their story, and all of your love for them with me forever. love you guys. xx

pairing: dbf!joel miller x fem!reader

summary: every cowboy deserves his ride off into the sunset.

warnings: age gap (reader is 23, joel is 48), lotsa guilt from reader, dreamy love sequence & mention of unprotected piv/creampie, more greys anatomy spoilers, reader's dad is either Bald or has a Receding Hairline (you choose), more sex - this time reader and joel sixty-nine, face sitting, oral (f and m receiving), more (inferred) unprotected piv, making dirty, hot love ALLAT, cursing, a little smut n a lotta fluff n a droplet of angst at the end

word count: 10.8k

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“How the fuck did this take you three minutes? Three?”

“I’m telling you. I’m a genius.”

You snort. “Shut up. You only passed Math ‘cause you were fooling around with that nerd – Thomas? Was it Thomas?”

“Timothy. And you don’t need math to do a sudoku puzzle, loser. You just need brains. Logic.” Anna taps two fingers against her temple, tilting her head.

“Logic,” you murmur, shaking your head.

Sal’s is quiet today. He’s out of town for his father-in-law’s funeral and made the genius decision to leave the two of you in charge. Since opening at nine, you’ve had four customers. The to-do list left for you was completed by ten, and since then, you’ve been hunched over your phone at the cash register, messing around on some puzzle app Anna made you download.

It's a Wednesday. Nothing exciting ever happens on Wednesdays.

Anna’s behind you, tearing apart and flattening the cardboard boxes you spent all morning emptying. “That level,” she clicks her chewing gum wetly between her teeth, scent of mint over your shoulder, “that ain’t even the hardest one. Ooh, no, babe. Three goes –”

“Shh!” You bat her arm away, curving your hand over your phone screen. She snorts and wanders off through the back, wad of cardboard under her arm.

Anna wasn’t your closest friend in high school, and you sure didn’t stay much in touch past the odd Facebook post update when you left. But working with her, and her dad being your dad’s buddy – she’s sort of become one of those people you just can’t shake.

Like a stray puppy. Or…an annoying hangnail.

She’s nice enough – talks a lot of crap sometimes, but she cares for you. You’d go as far as saying you two have grown pretty close since you came home. Still, the acidic sting of resentment sits on your tongue, anytime you think of her involvement in the unravelling of your little lie. Think of your dad calling hers, Hank asking her where you were.

Think of the fact that, if she hadn’t been honest with him – I don’t know where she is, Dad – nothing would’ve gone wrong.

That’s not fair. If you’d never touched Joel in the first place, nothing would’ve gone wrong.

It’s just – she had a hand in pushing the first domino.

The bell above the door jingles and you lift your eyes from tiny numbers and blank squares to meet a familiar pair of hazel. An Alanis Morissette T-shirt under a denim jacket. She tucks her thick, soft hair behind her ears and smiles, then skips around the counter and links her hands at your tummy; her ear flat against the nape of your neck.

“Why so clingy?” you ask, and Sarah straightens up.

“Just excited to spend some time with my favorite person. That allowed?”

Your eyes scan her up and down as she leans against the counter, stealing a gummy from a jar beside the register. “Been staying with you for nearly three weeks now, you ain’t sick of me yet?”

She shakes her head, jaw chewing, cheeks swollen with a grin. “Are you done yet? I wanna make sure we get good seats.”

“We will,” you assure her. “It’s only, like, three p.m.”

“But it’s Barbie,” she says, “and I wanna get some snacks before we head in.” She holds the decapitated gummy worm up, eyebrows high, before pulling it between her teeth until it snaps. She drags the withered red tail over her tongue.

“That thing you just mauled,” you gesture to the masticated shape in her fingers, “candy. Snacks. Just take some of that.”

“You won’t even buy your date movie theater candy? Damn. Mom’s a cheapskate. Wish I could say my dad’s a lucky guy.”

You shove her off, disguising your laugh with a shake of your head. “You are on thin ice, I’m not even kidding.”

Sarah’s laughing, reaching for another worm. “You know what that sounds like?”

“Hm?”

“What you just said.”

“What’s it sound like, Sarah Miller?”

“Something a mom would say.”

“Alright,” you stand, “get out. Get outta my store.”

The door opens when you point to it, Texan heat sweeping in to swarm the one rickety fan you have in here. The brass bell trembles, and beneath it, a man in a tucked shirt and jeans, glum face and tired eyes.

You blink at him and he blinks back, and no words are spoken between you, but your dad understands to move, to keep walking – and you understand to let him.

“Shoot,” Sarah whispers, twisting her gummy around her finger. “That was awkward.”

Three weeks of staying with them – Sarah and Joel – also means three weeks of zero contact with your dad. The most you’ve heard from – or, rather, about him is that, last week, Joel bumped into Hank at the gas station, and the old man mentioned that he and your dad had grabbed a beer the night before.

What’d he say? you asked Joel, dragging a dish towel around the rim of a glass.

He shrugged, flicking his hands dry over the sink. Said the Rangers aren’t doin’ too good. I said, Yeah, that’s cause a’ –

No, Joel. What did he say about me ‘n my dad?

He waited a second to let the offense of your interruption soak in. Took the towel from your hand, replaced the glass on the draining board. Nothing, he said, I don’t think he knows.

It sat with you the entire night. The three of you watched a movie, occupying either side of Joel’s couch, though you’re sure you don’t remember a word of it. The image of him sat center-stage in your mind until you pulled yourself against Joel’s body in bed that night. Sat in his recliner, flicking through TV channels, the only sounds in the house that of Ice Road Truckers, the ticking of the kitchen clock, and his own fucking breathing.

Alone. Not even Hank to talk to about – well.

You’ve done your best not to think about him. And it works, most days, when you’re with Joel. Helps to go do stuff: ride shotgun while he picks up supplies for work or grabs groceries. Helps to play pretend like his house is yours, too. Tidying when he’s not home, lighting candles and sinking into a bubble bath for him to find you in when he finishes. Helps to be at Sal’s, with Anna. Sudoku and her fucking Tinder account to keep you both occupied.

Most days, you forget to consider the lonely shape of your dad at all – but that seems to hurt all the more. Like forgetting to tend to an open wound; instead, letting the infection blister and bubble so that, when you do bump it again, the pain feels sharper. Hissing at you, poison seeping from flesh.

His showing up, waltzing straight into the store – feels less like a bump, and more like a pair of hands diving straight into the gash, tearing it wide open again. Blood and poison gushing all over the checkered floor.

Anna materializes between two aisles, hands on her hips when she stands behind you. “Y’all still not really talkin’?” she asks.

You and Sarah shake your heads. The three of you watch the shape of your dad’s skull over the shelves, bobbing from bay to bay. Door hinges to fence paint. He painted the fence last summer. He doesn’t need fucking fence paint.

“Nope,” you reply. “’s been, what, two and a half weeks now?”

“Yeah,” Anna mutters, the slope of sympathy in her voice. “My dad’s been talkin’ to him about it. They’ve spoken, like, almost every night on the phone.”

“Oh, fuck,” you hiss, head falling into your hands. “Are you serious?”

“Not about you and Joel. Just about the fight.”

Your jaw slowly slackens, eyes thinning as your gaze slides over to your friend, a saddened expression on her face.

Sarah nods, like an accessory sat on the dash of a car. Bobbing bobbing bobbing, until her brows drop and she turns to you, finally realizing. “Wait, what?”

Anna blinks between the two of you. “What?” she asks, lips pressing together.

“You know?” Sarah asks, glaring at her.

Anna snorts. Neither of you break. She quickly quietens and clears her throat, bending to stuff more cardboard under her arm. “Well…” She sucks in a deep breath. “At rodeo night, when you left your phone on the table, me ‘n Kara wanted to leave a bunch of selfies for you to find later. But when I went to grab your phone, you had a text from him. Joel. Something about someone winning you over like he did, or something. I can’t remember. But that was the first thing.”

Sarah’s face sours at the mention of her dad’s flirty text, scoffing as she swipes another gummy from the jar. “Real fuckin’ subtle, Dad,” she murmurs.

You sharpen your gaze at Anna, blurring the brown curls and low brows from your peripheral. “Uhuh…?”

“Then, there was the lying to your dad about where you were. That Monday – you said you were at mine. You weren’t. Your dad called my dad to ask, ‘n my dad asked me why the hell you’d lie. I figured, What a weird coincidence, right?”

You slip off your stool, legs feeling more liquid than bone. “Oh, Jesus…”

“But then…then, I saw how you were when he called on the way to Frank’s. In the car. You were…fucking weird. And then Joel punched that dude – that basically confirmed it. I don’t think either of your dads would do that for me. It felt…it felt personal. He took your hand ‘n dragged you outta there, and it felt like…somethin’ else.”

You’re leaning against the counter, head in your hands. Struggling to even listen to her piece it all together. Were you this fucking obvious, the whole time?

Anna answers for you. “Yeah,” she says, nodding, “I didn’t catch two fucking boyfriends cheating on me, and not pick up some detective skills, babe.”

You stand straight, composure slowly building over shame. “And your dad doesn’t know? My –” you flick your head across the store, lowering your voice, “– my dad hasn’t told him?”

A laugh spurts from somewhere deep in her chest. “Hell, no. Are you tryna give him a second heart attack? No. He just thinks you were somewhere you didn’t want your dad to know – a boy’s or something. Which – well, I guess you were.”

You nod, half-appreciation, half-resignation. Alright. Now shut up about it, would you?

“But listen,” Anna says, apparently not as good at mindreading as she is at secret-revealing, “y’all gotta work on being sneaky. You’re, like, really bad at it.”

“Yeah,” you sniff, “thanks, Anna.”

You grip the edge of the counter and try to draw your eye away from your dad; a little angry that he’s here, and yet, a little more thankful that you’ve had at least a tiny glimpse of him. Desperate for him to come over, to acknowledge your mutual existence in the same room, and yet – petrified that he does.

He keeps his back to you, though you notice him turning every so often, looking at you from his peripheral. Nope – your black shirt and blue jeans are still behind the counter. He turns back to the shelf.

“Hi, sweetie.” A woman in a pink blouse approaches the counter. She lays down a couple pairs of plyers and you ring her up, asking if she found everything okay. Choking a little when you inhale the scent of her perfume.

“Beautiful day for you to be in here workin’, huh?” Her rosy cheeks fill as she hands you the cash.

Oh, yeah. It’s a beautiful day to be stuck selling plyers to pink women in pink blouses smelling of pink perfume, while my dad – still reeling from the revelation that I’ve been sleeping with his best friend, by the way – pretends to peruse the store.

“I’m almost done,” you reply, blunt enough to deflate her expression only a little, sliding the paper bag stamped Sal’s back across the counter.

She nods in thanks and slinks off, suffocating aroma following her. And like a magician, when she disappears off to the side, your dad stands in her wake. A few feet from you, keeping his distance, watching carefully before he dares to move. Waiting for your go-ahead.

When you lift your chin, beckoning him forward, Anna takes Sarah’s arm and yanks her away, shoving some shredded boxes into her arms. “You wanna help me?” she asks the nosy Miller, tossing something of an alarmed glance back at you and your dad.

There’s a funny feeling behind your eyes when he steps up, empty hand resting hesitantly on the counter. “She coverin’ up the smell of a dead body or som’?” he asks.

The air pushes from your lungs, a laugh barreling with it. Your hands clasp on the surface opposite his. A scorch of white heat at the nape of your neck. “Very vibrant, huh?”

“Very.” He clears his throat, shakes his head a little, and takes a deep breath. “I figured this might be as good a place as any to find you. I didn’t want you to think I was…cornering you, or anything, if I showed up at Joel’s.”

“I wouldn’t – I mean, maybe. But, y’know…this is fine.” Your arms cross defensively, the baggy material of Joel’s shirt wrapping snug around you.

Your dad seems to know. Evidence being that it’s you, in a shirt all too big – a shirt he’d likely see his best friend in, too. It forces your arms tighter, sucking in the scent of Joel to combat the dizzying feeling of nerves.

“I’m glad to see you’re alright,” he says eventually, fingers drumming awkwardly. “I just wanted to know you were fine.”

“I am fine. I promise. Just – working a lot.”

He nods, looking down to his feet. Twists the toe of his boot into the linoleum.

“I’m glad to see you’re alright, too,” you offer, the words fluid and spilling from one to the next – something forceful in their nature.

Your dad’s eyes lift at the same time that his cheeks do. Relief. “Thanks, kiddo. I actually – I was hopin’ that maybe we could talk. If you’re free. I don’t know what time you get off today.”

“I finish in ten minutes,” you say, and hope seems to paint across his face – washing away instantly when you add, “but I’m going to the movies with Sarah.”

He’s nodding again, eyes fixed back on his boots. “Right, right.”

“…But maybe once we’re done I can swing by?”

“Oh, well – I’m workin’ late again. I’ll be out by the time…Yeah. Sorry, hon.”

“That’s okay.”

“Late one again tonight.”

“This, uh – what’s his name again? Kel–?”

“Kelman, yeah. Yeah. How ‘bout I call you tomorrow ‘n we can work somethin’ out? You and Sarah, you enjoy your night.”

You lean back from the counter, slowly more confident in your ability to hold yourself upright. “Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Dad.”

His lips press together in a flat attempt at a smile. “I’ll leave you to it. You mind if I…give you a hug?”

And then you’re the one awkwardly, forcedly smiling. Your teeth gritting behind taut lips. “Not at all,” you whisper, and wander carefully around the counter to where he stands.

He opens his arms and pulls you against his chest, your head tilting to rest your ear on his shoulder. You hook your arms under his, feeling his wrists crossing at your spine. Like two statues, two figures of stone fixing their crumbling bodies in an embrace, suddenly disjointed and ill-fitting. Your heart hurts beneath layers of rock, swelling in attempt to reach for his, shrinking back crestfallen when he feels too far.

He kisses the side of your head, pulls away, and taps your cheek once. “You know,” he says, letting you withdraw from his grasp, “I really miss you.”

You nod. “Miss you, too.”

“Let’s talk soon, alright?”

“Yeah.”

And then he’s leaving, drifting back out into the summer sun, rock disintegrating as the light catches him again. More human, less monster-under-your-bed. He’s just your dad again, just that swaying, bumbling man who used to sprinkle rainbow flakes over your ice cream and double-knot your laces.

The shadows of Sarah and Anna appear at your elbows, the three of you watching your dad sink into his car. You still feel made of rock, splitting somewhere down the middle as you stare at his figure.

“Well?” Sarah asks.

He turns right out of the parking lot, disappears behind a hedgerow.

“Yeah,” you reply, turning in a daze. “We’re gonna…gonna talk.”

“That’s good, right? That sounds…promising.”

You shrug. “I guess.”

Sarah places a gentle hand on your arm, drawing your attention to her kind eyes and infectious smile. “We should probably get goin’,” she says, and you agree.

“What movie are you seeing?” Anna asks, filling your spot behind the counter as you turn, making for the back of the store.

“Barbie,” Sarah tells her.

“Nice. She paying?”

“Obviously. Mom duties.”

You kick the door closed on their giggles.

Two days pass without a word from your dad. No text, no call, no visit to Sal’s when you’re on shift the following day. By Monday, you’ve convinced yourself that the entire thing was a dream, a hallucination conjured up by your imagination in attempt to rid you of some of the guilt still chewing at your heart. Bat it out of your brain, like swatting the rear end of a wild animal let loose indoors.

Guilt which is only remedied, only soothed by Joel. By the feeling which overcomes your chest when you look at him – lungs faltering, heart leaping. The peace of falling asleep in his safe embrace, the heat from his body enough to keep you comfortable all night, and then waking up tangled in his sheets – the smell of bacon and eggs twirling through the house, the distant sound of his humming drawing you downstairs to his side.

Late nights on the porch, watching the sun bleed heavily into the sky. Your ankles in his lap, a guitar over his thigh. Thumb gentle on the strings, soft timbre of song lulling you to some place far from reality: the same rosy, dreamlike state you’ve mostly occupied since he dragged you through his front door, kicked your shoes and all of your worries to the side, and made you forget that anything bad had ever happened.

The most comfortable you’ve ever felt in your life, the most loved – a world where your every word is heard and weighed, rolling around Joel’s palms and slotting carefully into his back pocket. A world where his lips on your neck as you make dinner, where the crook of his arm catching you as you pass by, is all normal. Where I love you and I love you, too become the last words your sleepy ears hear at night, right before you sink into a shared sleep.

All of it becoming as natural as the pale moon switching for her golden sister at dawn. As instinctive as breathing.

“Have you ever made love to anyone?” you ask him one night, the aftershock of an orgasm still soaking into your skin.

Joel pauses, hips slowing between yours. “Yeah,” after a couple beats, “sure.”

“What’s it feel like?” you ask, honestly. Combing his dark hair through your fingers. “I’ve never…No one’s ever…”

“Baby,” he says. “We’ve done it. I’ve done it to you.”

Your body tenses and then melts around him. One blink and suddenly the world softens, seems to bow into the background – the only sharp object Joel, the twinkle in his eye piercing through the haze like blinking white stars in thick, dark clouds.

You whisper, “Can you do it again? So I can feel what it’s like?”

He pushes himself up, one elbow planted by your ear, the other hand lifting your thigh. Hooking it over his waist, lowering his arm again to cage you under his body. He nudges your chin with his nose, lifting it to line your lips with his, hold every part of your body as close to his as he can.

Deeper, in every sense of the word. Slow, hard. Eyes on you the entire time, watching the way your face contorts and your jaw slackens, holding the shape of your head in his hands, swallowing his own moans and grunts to make space between you for yours.

“Look at me, baby, eyes on me,” he says, and by instinct, your eyes roll forward, focusing or half-focusing on the slick hair at his forehead, the red flush climbing his neck, seeping into the skin under his beard. “You feel it? Feel where I’m goin’?”

And yeah, you whine, you do feel it. Feel him dragging you further away from this world and into the next – somewhere a plain away, somewhere new and different to anything you’ve ever known before. Where physicality is a language, a fluid conversation between the melding of his body and yours; where there are a million words swirling around his pupils, hypnotizing and entrancing and drawing you in until you’re tumbling headfirst into the inky pools.

Where I love you sounds like the groan Joel can’t hold back, feels like the pulsing flood as he snaps between your legs. Where making love is as simple as the squeeze of his hand around yours; the shove of his plate over the kitchen table, offering you the last bite of grilled cheese or simply admitting that it was yours before he’d even taken the first. That addictive laugh of his when you stall the fucking truck for the fifth time: You asked me to teach you, baby, I’m tryna teach you. Foot on the gas, c’mon. You got it. That’s it – now, slow. Slower. Try to feel it. No, really feel it.

Feel it. Really, try to feel it. Can you feel it? Do you know the difference yet? The difference between everyone who was before, and the one who is now? Do you finally get it?

“I feel it,” you cry out, and his frame holds yours together as you fall apart.

It feels like – you.

How did I ever know anything before I knew you?

“That one’s nice,” Joel says, his voice jumping the short distance between his lips and your ear.

You tilt your head, body moving with his when he lifts his hand to swipe through some more of the images. The spacious living room, newly refurbed kitchen, the view of downtown Los Angeles.

He adjusts the blanket draped over your legs. “Washer dryer, walk-in closet,” and then, leaning in closer, whispers, “a balcony. That’s cool.”

“Hm,” you turn to face him, your body shelled by his in the corner of his couch, “I bet you like the balcony, cowboy.”

He smiles plainly in response, squeezing your nose between two knuckles. Yeah. Lots you can do with a balcony.

A sharp gasp from across the room pierces the sweet moment. You and Joel turn in its direction, its owner wide-eyed and blinking at the TV.

“Wait a second,” Sarah yelps. “George is the John Doe?” She gasps again when Meredith announces the same news to her friends onscreen. “Shut – the fuck – up!”

“Language,” Joel clips, chest rumbling between your shoulder blades.

“Oh, like you didn’t have the exact same reaction. George is the…Oh, that sucks. Are you kidding me?” She fishes her phone from the waves of blanket surrounding her, thumbs rapidly typing, eyes shooting from screen to screen.

You snort, turning back to your own phone in your hand, when a text appears at the top of the screen.

Dad: Hey kiddo. Sorry to keep you waiting, work been hectic. Off the rest of today if you’re free to come over.

Your thumb latches onto the message, holding it for Joel to read, too, before letting it disappear off into your notifications.

He tightens his hold on you, burying his nose into the cotton of his own hoodie over your shoulders. His breath pushes heavy and thoughtful across the material. “Still seems as calm as the other day.”

“Too calm,” you admit, “it’s freaking me out.”

“What can he do, you know? You’re here, he’s there. Your dad ain’t an idiot, baby. He knows stayin’ angry about it’s only gonna push you further away.”

“Sure made ‘im feel like an idiot…”

Joel catches the comment and pockets it before it gathers enough weight to bruise. “Well,” he clears his throat, “it’s up to you. I ain’t letting you do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“Mhm,” you reply, and wait for more words to fall to your tongue. An answer, a response. A decision that you know you don’t feel equipped or even rightful to make.

“Do you want to go talk to him?” Joel asks.

“I…I want to make things right. I wanna fix it.”

“Okay. And will talking to him do that?”

You turn to face him, frowning. “I don’t fucking know,” you mutter. “Will it?”

He smiles sympathetically. “Wish I knew, darlin’. Would it help if I came? Sat outside in the truck, waited for you? It gets too much, you decide you wanna leave – we leave.”

“You ain’t scared to be near him again?”

He gulps back a laugh, Adam’s apple bobbing awkwardly before he allows himself to answer. “Only thing scary about your dad is the sunlight reflectin’ off his damn head. No, I ain’t scared.”

You study him a minute longer, eyes roaming from the lips you could sketch every score of from memory, the beard you’re sure has forever altered your prints from the number of times you’ve run your fingers over the bristles. The eyes which know every secret, every whisper, every thought behind your own.

You sigh, smiling dumbly as he wraps his arms tighter around you. “Fine. Let’s go.”

Joel pulls up by the curb, parking politely at the end of your driveway rather than alongside your dad’s car, like he usually would. Like he used to.

You crane your head, looking past the shape of him to survey the unassuming house. Quiet, still. No sign of hurricane or earthquake, no tremors of rage or words like rocks raining down on the truck roof. Your thumb plunges into the buckle of your seatbelt, the webbing whipping over your shoulder.

“Sure you’re okay?” Joel asks, watching your fingers lift to the door handle.

“Mhm,” you reply, distant. “’s just my dad, right? What’s the worst that could happen?”

His eyebrows lift, agreeing. He takes your hand in his and holds it to his lips. “Whatever it is,” he mumbles into your fingers, “if it happens, you come straight back out here, you hear? I ain’t moving.”

The urge to stay exactly where you are and let him carry you off back to his place overwhelms you for a brief second. To stay in the safety of the truck cabin, stay within touching distance of Joel. And as quickly as it’s there, it’s gone. Overcome by the memory of that stony hug in Sal’s, the vacant, lonely eyes boring into late-night TV.

A sharp chap over your shoulder shocks you back to life. You twist in your seat, looking down at a face wrinkled by curiosity and wisdom, sheen of lipstick curved in a mischievous grin. You roll the window down, mirroring her smile.

“Joel Miller,” Rita calls, lowering her ring-adorned fist and pointing over to her car. “Help me with these groceries.”

“Afternoon to you, too, Rita,” he calls back, and she raises two thin, penciled eyebrows. His sigh trickles into a chuckle as he snaps the door open, leaning into you. “I ain’t moving,” he mutters, swinging out of the truck.

“Sure looks like you’re movin’,” you call back, letting Rita pull on your door to let you out.

“How are you, darlin’?” she asks. “Haven’t seen you around in a while.”

You hop down beside her, helping her tug the shawl around her arms back over her shoulders. “Yeah, I’ve, uh…I’ve been busy.”

She nods, and then her eyes drift to somewhere behind you. “They go in the kitchen, son.” She points to her house. “I’ll come help you unpack ‘em.”

Joel’s face twists, eyes wide, hands outstretched. You swallow back a laugh when he looks to you, an almost teenage expression which asks, You seein’ this? as he turns back to the Nissan.

“I better go,” Rita says then, giving your arms one last squeeze. “You take care, now. Tell your dad I’m askin’ after ‘im.”

“I will, Rita.” You turn on your heel and saunter around Joel’s truck, giving him one last twirl as he hoists two bags under his muscled arms, rolling his eyes as you spin.

You pull the weight of yourself up your drive, passing past versions of yourself as you near the front door. She’s stumbling towards her dad’s car, a bucket of soapy water sloshing around between her knees. She’s sat on the curb, waiting for Joel’s truck to roll up, praying she never hears another Marty Robbins song again.

She’s naïve, still. Knows no better, knows no worse. Chasing a high, chasing the thrill of being caught and the thrill of nobody ever knowing. A relationship built entirely on lies and deceit. A love woven with dark threads of shame and anger, a tattered mess in one corner where the edges fray and loosen.

And you think: you’ve never felt more jealous of anybody your whole life.

The front door clicks open easily, like the building welcomes you home with a relieved sigh. You follow sunlight into the hallway, feeling it easier to walk through than before – less dense, less suffocating. Less guilty. An honest thief, back to return the bleeding heart she dragged out the door with her.

Secrets like shards of broken glass on the floor, debris from that day. And as if he hears the crunch of your footsteps, your dad appears at the bottom of the hall.

“Hi, hon.”

Eyes wide with a misplaced shock, you say, “Hey.”

“You okay?”

“’m good.”

“Good. Come in, come through.” He beckons you forward, a smile only half-forced on his lips. “You want a drink or anything?”

You follow him into the kitchen, politely accepting a glass of water when he offers it.

He turns with two steady palms on the island, watching as you drag a chair free and sit at the table. “How’s Joel?” he asks, swallowing roughly.

The words come delayed, your open mouth lying in wait. Your body selfishly trying to hoard the information, protective the second the image of that six-foot, two-hundred-pound man crosses your mind. “He’s fine. He’s out front.”

It sounds like a warning, though you don’t mean for it to. Just conversation. He’s helping Rita with her groceries. She’s asking after you, by the way. But your dad seems to sense the natural amber tone of it – the sparking of a flame, daring to catch. He’s waiting for this to go south.

He nods, accepting the fact of it. His own failed attempt to separate the two of you only drove you closer together. Only made you want Joel more.

But then he’s nearing you again, pulling out the chair opposite yours. “I’m glad you’re here,” he says, settling with a sigh. “Glad we’re…we’re talkin’ again, at least.”

Your head angles. “Are we?”

His body jerks, flinching from the sting of the question. “Well,” his head wobbles, jowls quivering, “I sure hope so. I was takin’ it as a good sign that you’re here.”

“I’m here,” you repeat, “but that doesn’t mean I’m staying.”

“No, I know. I know. Joel’s out front, ‘n all that.” He looks down at his hands, clasped in his lap. Holds his tongue behind his front teeth, waiting for the next turn of conversation.

You lean forward, elbows on the table, softening your voice. “Dad?” you say, and he looks up. “This whole entire thing – I think…I think we oughta try and understand each other, a little better. Hear each other out.”

“I am tryin’, hon. I’m really tryin’. You dealt me an awful lot to hear out ‘n understand.”

You rock back, sinking against the hard chair. Tracing the wood grains in the table, nails digging between. Shame coiling like a snake beneath your tongue, taking up too much space in your mouth. Its venom dripping between your teeth, acrid and sour; tendons in your neck jumping with the bitterness of your dad’s tone.

He sighs. “Be honest with me a second.”

“Huh?”

He waits a beat, watching you carefully. Opens his mouth, pauses, and then speaks. “Who instigated it?”

Your finger pushes harder into the surface. Digging new divots. “Um…kinda both of us. Was sort of a two-way thing from the get-go.”

His lips twist, almost imperceptible. He looks behind you to the patio outside. You can’t read what’s in his eyes. It makes you say more, say things you reckon you’ll regret later – but something to fill the silence between you. Something to let him sink his teeth into.

“There was flirting. Lotta flirting. And then it…it just sort of snowballed.”

“Snowballed.” He looks uncomfortable, lifting his hands to cup over his face. “I just didn’t take him as the type,” he says, muffled into his palms.

“As what type?”

He drops his hands, hitting his thighs with a slap, and looks you dead in the eye. Sad, almost. “Arthur Kennedy type.”

“He’s not.”

You say it instinctively. Your ears hear it at the same time your dad does. He looks at you blankly.

“He’s not,” you repeat, a little looser. Less hasty. “Look,” you sigh, “I know it’s not what you want to hear, but…everything that we ever did, I wanted to do. I already told you. There ain’t nothing we did that I didn’t ask him to. I swear to you.”

You think back to the cookout, how angry Joel was at the thought of Arthur Kennedy hanging over you. How pissed he’d be, hearing your dad line him up against that old leather boot of a man. Comparing, contrasting. Here’s how you measure up, son. How much of a phantom Arthur Kennedy has been, your whole life, and how much of a sanctuary Joel is in comparison.

Your stomach twists at the thought. A tight knot, wound by a desperation to clear the name of a man whose worst offense was doing exactly what your dad would’ve told him to: leave.

“This whole thing,” you go on, “it’s a mess, alright? It’s – totally fucked. And we shouldn’t’ve lied, shouldn’t’ve been keeping things from you, but then…what did you expect?”

Your dad cuts in like a bullet: “I expect the two of you not to do what you were doin’.”

“No, I know that. But we did it, right? It’s done now. I meant, did you really want us to sit you down in the living room ‘n say, Hey, Dad – guess what?”

He grimaces at the thought.

“Didn’t think so. We didn’t even know what it was. We had no idea what it’d turn into. But you gotta hear me out: it wasn’t just…some fling, or whatever you’re thinkin’. I swear, Dad, it wasn’t.”

He still doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t lift his stare from the table. You feel like a little kid, desperate to make him love you again. Desperate to make him listen. The space between you fills with the bored tick tick tick of the kitchen clock. Each second hurting a little more than the last.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “I’m sorry that I hurt you. I’m sorry I let you down, but…I’m not sorry that I did it. If I could go back, knowing everything I know – I’d do it all over again.”

The words roll across the table to him like billiards. You lean back again, watching them as they rattle from his side to yours – your sentence delivered back into your ears. You nod, a sure thought in your mind.

I’d do it all over again. All the covering, all the hiding. The aching, the wishing and wanting. Staring at Joel’s empty hand, dying to slot yours into it. Dying to put any part of yourself near him; your head under his chin, your arms linked around his waist. Knowing you two would feel, knowing everyone else would see, just how perfectly you fit together.

The chasing your own tails: Did you lie well enough? Do they suspect anything? Did we leave any evidence? Disturbed sheets, a collar still upturned. Can they hear us? Have they noticed we’re missing? We’re always fucking missing.

You’d do it all over again. You know what it cost, now, sat directly opposite the price. His polite smiles like veneers over rotten teeth. The tremble in his lip when he opens his mouth to speak.

And it was worth it. Joel. He was worth it all, in the end.

All over again.

“Do you know that every time I look at you, there are…probably four versions that I see?”

You frown. Did he hear what you just said? All ov–? “What?”

Your dad laughs to himself. “When you walk outta that door, I see a little pink backpack over your shoulders. Gym bag in your hand, maybe. I see missin’ front teeth, I see those little clip-on earrings you used to love so much.

“And – and when you’re mad at me, when we fight, I see you at fourteen. Growing pains, y’know? I still remember you slamming your bedroom door in my face, all ‘cause I wouldn’t let you go to that girl Molly’s birthday party.” He looks up, smiling at your perplexed expression.

“I don’t even…remember that, hardly.”

“Long time ago now. My point is,” he continues, “you’re twenty-three. You’re grown. And I just can’t figure out how to make those other versions…grow with you. You still feel like my kid. Still that little girl with the pink backpack.”

“But,” you clear your throat, trying to swipe her from your own memory, “I’m not. I’m not her anymore, Dad. And I think maybe you gotta give me the space to be someone different, now.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose, nodding. “I know, I know. I just didn’t think this new version of you would…y’know. Be with Joel, ‘n all. That is something I did not see comin’.”

“You think I did?” You spit a laugh. “If you told me when I came home that this is what was waiting for me…that I was gonna fall…”

Your teeth close around the sentence, dropping your dad’s eye. But it’s too late.

He stares back at you like the sun. “…Fall in love with ‘im?”

And you cower. You wince, almost. The last secret. The last thing he doesn’t know. “I don’t…I don’t know, I –”

“You love him. You do, don’t you?”

Your thumbs run circles around one another, fingers locking until your knuckles hurt. “I don’t know,” you mumble, wishing for the tenth time since you sat down that Joel was beside you, in front of you, around you.

“’s what Anna seems to reckon.”

Your eyes flit up. “Anna?”

He hums. “She is her father’s daughter. A damn meddler. She called here, last night.”

“Oh, Jesus,” you groan, head falling into your hands. “Ignore her, please. Ignore all of it. She doesn’t –”

He holds a palm up. “Now, hold on. You don’t even know what it was she said.”

You huff a sigh, twisting your hand in the air. Go on.

“She reckons you do love him. Reckons he loves you back. More, if that’s even possible, she said. Told me all about the way he stepped in front a’ that boy at Frank’s. About your face when he picked you up from rodeo night, how ecstatic you were. The difference she sees in you.”

“Difference,” you scoff, glancing out to the backyard. “What difference?”

“Same difference I see, probably. Same difference Bill said he saw, too: you’re happier. Even I can’t deny it, hon. It’s damn hard – you never make nothin’ easy on your old man – but…but I am willing to try.”

The hurt begins to slowly fizzle away. Cooling, washing from your skin like foamy waves. Curiosity left to shine through.

“You may not understand this ‘til you have kids of your own – if you have kids of your own – but there ain’t a thing in this world that I love more than I love you. And when you love somethin’ that much, you’ll do anything to stop it from getting hurt. Anything. That’s all I want you to know.”

A silence falls between you, thoughtful and waiting. The clock’s ticking grows sharper again. It seems to consider the same as you: there should be more to this. More to be said, to be convinced. More yelling, even.

But you arrive at the same conclusion, at near enough the same time: there is nothing more. Cards flat on the table, eyes pouring all over them. To question it, to second-guess any of it, would be to tempt fate.

“Anyway,” your dad sits forward, clasping his hands on the table, “tell me what’s goin’ on. What’s been happening in your world?”

You shrug. A little, shy thing. “Work. Been hanging with Sarah a lot. And I, uh, I had a job interview last week.”

“Oh, yeah? Where?”

You shift awkwardly in your chair. “For, uh…that one in LA. They called to offer it a couple days ago.”

A smile pulls across his lips. Growing, growing, growing until he’s grinning back at you. Pride, little bit of surprise. Whole lot of amusement and joy. “You take it?” he asks, figuring he knows the answer already.

“Not yet,” you reply. “Think I’m going to, though. ‘s too good to say no.”

He lifts his eyebrows in agreement, looking down at his hands. Shoulders lurch some under the weight of your news. “There goes that little backpack,” he mutters to himself, and you smirk.

“Can’t hold her back forever.”

“I never had a hold on her in the first place. You were walkin’ on outta that door the minute you found your own two feet.”

You snort. “Good! Good for me. Let me go out into the big ol’ world; let me go fuck it all up ‘n come home for dinner once I’m done.”

“I intend to,” your dad says, nodding along to every passionate word you say. And then he asks, “How’s Joel feelin’ about it all? About LA?”

Your shoulder jerks in a half-shrug. “He’s fine, I guess. Says he’ll miss me, but then – we haven’t exactly had the most typical relationship up until now. Survived a lot I reckon would break any normal couple…”

It’s the first time you think you’ve ever said it. Couple. You’ve thought of it – flicked through the words you might use to describe him. Your boyfriend, your partner. None of them seem to fit exactly who he is to you. None of them strong enough to carry the weight of what’s shared between you. He’s Joel. He’s your Joel. Nothing will ever come close.

Your dad hears it, too. The newness of it. The crisp shape of the word, not yet thawed to this new world. Your tongue still learning how to pronounce it, how to pair it with the image of Joel.

“Guess he can fly out ‘n visit whenever, right?”

“Yeah,” you swallow, “and I’ll be back here, too. Christmas ‘n all.”

Your dad smiles. Relieved, assured. Light slowly returning to his eyes.

“We’ll be fine,” your chest swells, “so Joel says. I trust ‘im.”

You both quieten, sitting back in your chairs. What once felt like a room ablaze, flames tearing the skin from your body as you dragged your heels through it – now feels like a gentle warmth. Waves wrought with enough power and force to destroy you, now seeping off with the change of the tide. Bumps on the horizon.

“Speaking of,” you say, making to stand, “I should probably get goin’.”

“Yeah. Yeah, hon.” Your dad follows, arm on your shoulder as he walks you down the hall.

The sun intrudes, tosses herself into your arms as you pull the front door open. In her golden-rayed wake sits that dark truck, same as always. The same dark tee, the same dark-speckled-gray hair. Arms folded, stood against the body, waiting. Eyes on the house, on your figure as you step down onto the doormat. Joel straightens when your dad follows you out, chest sucking in a ragged breath.

They look at one another, and that’s about it. Something of a nod from Joel – not quite returned by your dad. You figure that might take some time to come back around. And that’s okay. You can make peace with it.

You turn back. Your dad’s looking down at you, hand over his eyes to shield them from the sun.

“You know,” you take a deep breath, “the only times he’s ever hurt me, are the times he’s left. The times I haven’t had him around.”

And then you step back, the magnet in your chest telling you it’s time to return to its partner.

In high school, your English teacher tasked the class with writing a short story. Any genre you wanted, any word count up to two thousand. The boys mostly dicked around, wrote action-packed, blood-and-guts garbage. One girl wrote something you’re sure you’d seen in a Hallmark movie before.

But you – you spent two weeks straight, writing. Awake until all hours of the night, hunched over your laptop, sunbathing in the blue hue of an open document. Fingers hammering rapidly into your keyboard.

A man and a woman meet in Central Park. She – hair the color of rust, spilling down her shoulders and lifting at the ends, twisting around the fingers of the blustery wind. A red glow around her third finger where gold once lived. Sat on a bench, alone. Hiding, perhaps. And he – sharp suit and tie, clean-shaven, a steel-blue gaze that might cut glass. Missing the city traffic by taking a walk through the park on his way home. Fleeing, perhaps.

He notices her trench coat first. Bright red, a poppy swaying in the breeze. A little hopeless, a solemn wilt to it. The quickly dampening fire of her hair in the rain, the opaque sheen of polish chipping from her nails. And he thinks he recognizes the constellation of freckles painted across her cheeks. Thinks he might’ve mapped them, once, in some kind of past-life.

She looks up and realizes she recognizes the cut of his gaze. Piercing through her, splitting her in two. Thinks she might’ve felt it before, the opening of her soul to someone who looked just like him – a little more baby-faced, a little more spirited. In some kind of past-life, too.

She stands, and he slows, and they meet somewhere in the middle. Words exchanged; body heat transferred through hugs. Is that really you? You look so different. It’s been years. He doesn’t ask about the lack of jewelry on her third finger. She doesn’t ask about the gray circles beneath his eyes. Just, You wanna grab a coffee? and, Yeah. Yeah, I do.

They sit at the window, watch the yellow taxis and the black umbrellas and the trembling traffic lights. They talk about life then, life now, and silently agree to forget about the part in the middle. They look at each other the same way they must have before they lost one another, before life and love and everything else got between them.

They agree to meet again in a week. They swear that they will not fall back in love.

They know as well as each other that they’re really promising to do just that.

Love – twisted and turned over and over, until it’s a different shape altogether. We started as one thing, and we watched it shift into something completely different. Clay in the potter’s hands. Didn’t you think it might fall apart? There was a moment I thought the heat of the kiln might break us. I’m glad it didn’t. I’m glad we’re made of tough stuff.

I’m glad I found you again, in that park. The pissing rain and the wind so strong I felt it lifting the sense from my mind. In that hardware store, in that bar filled with weed and bad intentions. I’m glad you split me open, glad you could see the good that was still inside. I thought I’d lost her for a minute. Thought she’d forgotten her way home.

Let’s go get a coffee. Let’s pretend it’s always been this way.

Let’s fall in love. The rest will take care of itself.

It takes three weeks in total to properly pack up your things. Two days after you accepted the job, you bought boxes and tape, and began to dismantle the identity you’d spent twenty-three years creating for yourself, a little bit at a time. Taking apart the pink-walled museum of your life, artefact by artefact.

Joel has helped as much as you’ve let him. Laid back on your bed when you’ve dismissed him one too many times, raised his eyebrows and laughed with you whenever you come across some old, forgotten piece of memorabilia. Something ceremonial to it, something innocent and fun. Like a little graduation for all the parts of yourself.

Soon, as the last of the summer sun dampens outside, your room lies vacant. Empty of any real evidence of your being here. Bedsheets and pillows folded, packed away; framed photos and posters unpinned from the wall and wrapped up safely. Drawers and closets barren, left with a selection of your less-loved, less-worn clothes. A wardrobe built from stuff you’ll only ever wear when you come back home to visit, if even then.

Joel’s sat on the bare mattress, looking around your room. You’re stood opposite, leaning against your half-empty dresser. The sun filters feebly through your turned shades, averting her eyes.

You look over at him. Golden, like the sunlight outside. Warm, like the breeze through the trees. Yours. Yours yours yours.

“What?” Joel asks, his eyes having finally found their way back to you. He smiles at your focused expression.

“Nothing. I don’t know. Just…”

“Talk to me. Tell me.”

“You are – this is…” You sigh. “This is good. I think it’s good. Not just all the stuff we did. But you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you tell him. “You’re good for me.” You grip the wooden lip tighter, swaying nervously when you add, “But I think it was always gonna go this way, wasn’t it?”

He sniffs. Shoulders jerk in a weak shrug. “Yeah, I think so, baby.”

Your eyelashes flutter, soothing the prickling feeling of tears forming. “I don’t – I don’t know if I want it to.”

“Yeah,” Joel says through a groan, pushing himself up, “you do.”

You shake your head as he approaches, and his hands cup your cheeks.

“Hey,” he whispers, pulling your body tight against his. Your face buries in his chest; your tears wet on his shirt. He shushes you, rocks you gently back and forth with a hand on the back of your head. “Listen to me.”

“Joel –”

“Listen to me.” He pulls you back, swipes the tears from your cheeks as quickly as they fall. “We’re fine. We are going to be fine.”

“I don’t want to leave you –”

“I know, I know. But you want to go do this. And that’s okay. Both of ‘em, at once.”

Your head shakes again. Like an instinctive reaction to the thought of being separated from him.

Joel smiles softly. “I am going to miss you like hell. You got no idea. But,” he pulls your head back to face his, tucks your hair behind your ear, “I want you to go. You gotta go after this. Right?”

“I know,” you whisper, lungs lurching for breath. “I just – wish it didn’t mean leavin’ you.”

“Darlin’…” Joel coos, pulling you in again. “You know how much I love you? What do I keep tellin’ you? We’ll be alright. It’s you ‘n me, right?”

You nod, salty tears slipping between your lips onto your tongue. When you look up, you notice the same expression on Joel’s face. He blinks his own away before they fall.

“’s you ‘n me,” you repeat, and he pulls your lips together.

You roll your tongue onto his, letting him taste you – all of you. Your mouth, and your thoughts, and your tears, and your pain. You let him take it all, let him hold it for this moment as you breathe him in, let his body fill yours in every way.

Your hands are in his hair, your chest pressed against his; he’s every thought on your mind and every beat in your heart. He’s the blood thrumming through your veins, he’s the oxygen filling your lungs; he’s the words between your teeth and the flesh around your bones.

And he pulls you, and you follow, his shirt in your fist, over to the bed where he lays you gently and falls on top.

“When’s he get back?” he asks, taking your bottom lip between his teeth.

“Later,” you mumble, your fingers picking at the hem of his shirt.

He pushes back, letting you tug it up up up over his shoulders at the same rate he peels your tee from yours, both tossing each other’s clothes to somewhere else in the room. Jeans undone, shorts dragged from your hips, underwear discarded until you’re naked under him, and he’s naked over you, and there’s nothing and no one between.

Joel cradles you, holds you close as he presses a palm roughly against the underside of your thigh, opening your body to him in a way only he’s mastered. In a way you only would, for him.

His hand cups your sex, fingers nudging between your folds, pushing in when your jaw slackens and a wanton moan echoes from your throat across Joel’s tongue.

“Yeah,” he coos, wrist jacking between your legs, “’s my girl. Gotta get you warmed up, huh? Get you nice ‘n wet.”

Your back arches, arms linking around his neck to pull him closer, pull him deeper. Hold him tight enough to you that your bodies feel one, feel connected at the meeting of Joel’s hand and the most intimate part of you; the meeting of your tongues between teeth.

And you gasp, the nudging of his fingers against the deepest part of your body, the messy circles of his thumb on your clit. The shape of him, solid and warm against the seam of your thigh.

You reach down for him, wrapping your fingers around his cock, and his breath hitches. Teeth bump into yours. You’re fucking irresistible to him.

“Darlin’,” his voice is low, daring you to keep going, “you wanna cut this short ‘fore we’re even started?”

You breathe a laugh into his jaw, hot and needy. “You get to play with me,” you whine, “I wanna play with you, too.”

Joel growls, seizing his movements, leaning back in what you take as him granting full access to his body. But then he says, “Turn around,” in a strict voice you’ve come to know as meaning one thing, and you pause.

You peel your eyes from his dick to blink up at him. “Turn –?”

“– around, now.” He takes your waist, hoisting you up until you’re straddling him, holding you inches above his body. “Turn.”

“What the fuck are you –?”

“Many times do I gotta tell you? You said you wanted to play.” He twists your waist until you follow his movements, swinging one leg over the other. He grabs your hips, tugging you back towards his face. “So, play,” he mutters, lowering your cunt down to his lips.

You gasp, falling forward and hitting the mattress between his legs. “J– fuck me. Are you s-serious?” You moan, hips rocking against the feeling of his bearded chin at your clit. “You’re like – a fucking – horny teenager. Oh, fuck.”

Your head falls forward, hands splaying out over his thighs, before your eyes refocus and you notice the hardened shape of him, tip oozing precome all over the hair-spattered plain of his groin. Your hand lifts, shakily taking hold of him again, and you lean down.

Elbows hooked over his thighs, you bring his tip to your lips, letting a thick bead of saliva fall and drip down the length of him, meeting your closed fist to be dragged up and down.

Joel’s hips almost buck. He holds it, manages to catch it, but you spot it. You’ve done this too many fucking times not to notice the reaction you draw from him.

“’s good,” you whisper, circling your hips on his face, tongue slipping across his cherry-red tip. “Feels so good.”

He responds in the form of a deep groan, rattling from his chest through your clit, shocking like lightning up your spine until the very same noise is thrown from your lips. You push down, tongue molding around every vein and the slow curve of his cock until your lips meet the thick brush of hair at his base, his tip kissing the very back of your throat.

Your throat which jumps, jolts at the feeling of something intruding – before you’re retreating again, pulling him from your body, warm, wet spit linking the two of you when you come up for air. And then you sink back down, head moving up down up down up down as his stomach tenses beneath your chest.

Joel’s palms keep a heavy hold on your ass, his tongue lapping between your folds like they’re the sweetest thing he’s ever tasted – like he might die if he doesn’t get his fix of you. And you think, they are, and he might, as your cheeks hollow and you bow down over him again.

You establish a rhythm, two waves swirling between one another: your hips rocking, Joel’s lifting ever so slightly as you suckle on one another. Your hand fisting the parts of him you can’t quite reach, not without choking; Joel holding you fixed to his jaw, letting the tip of his tongue hook around your swollen clit, then dragging it down until he’s letting you ride the wet muscle.

The approach of your first orgasm, a tiny spark catching to life in the pit of your belly, incites you with a need to open up further for him. Your throat taking more of him, your thighs slackening as you drive your cunt harder against his mouth.

“’m so close,” you whimper, lips curving around his cock. “So – fucking – ah, keep doin’ that. Right th-there.”

His hands hook around your thighs, tongue darting across your clit. His nose nudges somewhere between your folds, quickly becoming coated in the slick you’re leaking all over him.

“Joel,” you say, fists pumping his cock. Your voice a warning: it’s coming. You’re gonna – Fuck, you’re gonna come.

His voice is looser, more of a shrug of the shoulders when he pulls away from you. He inserts two fingers, curls them like before, like he knows drives you fucking insane. “Let go, babygirl,” he murmurs, lips immediately returning to position. And then, muffled and rough: “Come all over me.”

“Fuckfuckfuck,” you pant, hands squeezing around his cock, feeling that same spark ignite into flame, your entire body bursting with heat.

Your high rips through you, battering through each vein in your system, each nerve electrified. You collapse between his legs, his rough pubic hair sticking to the sweat on your chest, hips rutting wildly against the sharp cut of his jaw.

The mattress absorbs most of the desperate moan which streaks across your tongue, nails digging hard into the flesh of Joel’s thighs. And you hear the deep sound of his voice, the thud thud thud of a chuckle against your clit: the cocky fucker laughing to himself as he unravels you for what feels like the thousandth time.

“Alright,” Joel says, more to himself than to the fucked-out shape of you between his legs. He sits up and shifts you carefully down the bed, settling you face-down on the mattress and lifting your ass to meet his hips. “Okay?” he asks, kneeling behind you.

You feel his tip between your legs, slotting happily somewhere in your opening. Waiting for your response. A response you don’t feel able to give, as much as you’d like to; your lips puffy and confused, words jumbling behind them in a tangle of bliss and love.

“Baby,” Joel says, hand slinking down your back, pressing gentle circles into the nape of your neck. “You okay?”

Your head lifts, glancing over your shoulder to see his hairy torso, his thick arms caging over you. He lifts your chin with two fingers, cranes your neck up until you’re looking into his eyes, heavy lids blinking dumbly.

“Just fuck me,” you whisper, and Joel slips his tongue into your mouth.

You used to dream of coming back home. A few years away, doing whatever you wanted, wherever you wanted. Dreaming things up and then chasing them until they happened. Tiring yourself out, lungs gasping for breath and eyes always searching, always looking for a new target to pin up. But always coming back.

Austin, Texas. Its jagged skyline, the streets lined with a vibrant glow and star-spangled bunting. The river like a silver-bellied snake slithering through. Home.

You dreamt of living out your days here, once your blood had slowed and your mind settled. A quiet life in the country, a big wooden house with a wraparound porch. Two little rocking chairs, so you and whoever your husband turned out to be could sit and watch the sky fade from red into orange into white and then dull gray into deep blue.

Breeze kissing your cheek, his lips kissing your knuckles.

Joel.

Home.

You tell him, and he smirks. “That so?” he asks, wrapping his arms a little tighter around your naked body.

You nuzzle your cheek into the palm of his hand, breathing in the sweet scent of sweat and sex sitting in the air. “Mhm. You could play guitar until the stars come out.”

He hums in agreement. “Sounds like a pretty good dream. Tell you what: you go to LA, do what you gotta do. By the time you come back, there’ll be a big ol’ farmhouse, wraparound porch, rollin’ fields for the dogs. Coffee ‘n sunsets. How’s that sound?”

“And you’ll be there?”

He smiles. Scoops you in one arm and rolls you onto your front, chest to chest with him. His fingers ghost down the curve of your shoulder. “Baby,” he whispers, “I built the damn thing.”

It forces a laugh from your chest, something you’ve gotten used to by now. Joel and his ability to steal a giggle from you, the dumbest moments seeming the funniest. “You’re gonna build me a damn house?” you ask, chin resting between his pecs.

“That what you want?”

Your head rocks left to right, considering. “I just want you. That’s all.”

“Then you got me. I’m all yours.”

In his hazel eyes lives every moment you’ve ever shared. Every conversation, every kiss, every fight. Every minute he’s spent looking for you or at you, every minute you’ve spent looking back at him. It’s all in there. You see it like a movie reel, frame by frame.

It lands like a slot machine on that first night. Cleaning up after pizza. Shoulder to shoulder by your kitchen sink. You wish you’d just kissed him. Even with your dad right there. Wish you’d lifted your heels and put your lips on his, just for the fucking hell of it. Just to condense all of it, every second of longing and hurt and pain into one fleeting moment.

Wish you’d pulled him into you, against you, the weight of his body like an old friend. Welcomed it with open arms, like you’d spent your entire life missing it, waiting for it to come back to you. Let yourself feel your own heart, peeling between the cage of your ribs, reaching out for his. Always reaching for him.

Wish you’d looked him in the eye, tears softening the tufts of graying hair, vignetting the smirk only you can tell is there. Looked at him in that knowing way, that language only you two know; the glint in your eyes translating a thousand messy words into three. Just three – the simplest, lightest words you’ve ever known.

I love you. Let’s skip to the good part.

#welp i didn't cry when i hit post. me? no. no way #joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #the last of us #tlou #tlou fic #dbf!joel miller #dbf!joel #joel miller smut #cowboy like me

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loving-barnes · 2 months

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LOGAN HOWLETT - NEED

A/N: CHAPTER TEN is here! I'm sorry it took me so long. I just had a lot on my plate. Enjoy!

Pairing: Logan Howlett x mutant female reader

Warning: I have decided to not give any warnings. Please remember this story is 18+.

Summary: Things move forward between Logan and Y/N.

Please, do not read if you are under 18. This story is suitable for mature audience. MINORS DNI!

Words: 4300+

Important note: Again, Logan is a tall MF, because they fucked up in the movies. Also, Hugh Jackman!Wolverine. This is set in AU.

A TOUCH OF HOPE MASTERLIST | Chapter Nine

LOGAN HOWLETT - NEED

Jean stood next to a hospital bed, looking down at unconscious Y/N. She had a chart in her hands, checking the data she collected the past three days. Three days - that’s how long Y/N was out of the present.

Logan didn’t want to leave her side once they removed the collar from his neck. The wounds immediately healed, and he became a new person. Jean managed to send Logan away. He insisted on staying by Y/N’s side until she’d open her eyes. Luckily, Jean persuaded him quickly. Even Storm wanted to remain by her side all the time. The friendship between her and Y/N blossomed fast.

When Storm arrived with the rest of the team, she was horrified when she found Logan wounded and weak next to an unconscious body. There was a slight fear Logan wouldn’t be able to heal from the wounds. When Hank and Jean freed Logan from the collar, the healing happened quickly. No one would tell he was fighting for his life hours ago.

Jean enjoyed the silence in the medical room. The only thing she heard was the beeping sound of a heart monitor.

The door to the room opened. Charles wheeled in, followed by Hank, Logan and Storm. Before anyone could ask anything, Jean gave them an answer. “No change. She’s stable, well, but still out.”

Charles was the first to approach the bed. His hands caressed Y/N’s exposed forearm, where he kept staring at the lightly radiating skin. It was fascinating. Charles didn’t have an exact answer for that. All they knew was that it had to do something with her mutation.

“You said it happened before?” The question was for Logan.

“Yes. It was the day we saved the boy and came back here. I noticed her eyes glowing.”

Charles thought about it. “Mutations can evolve. It is one thing you get to master your powers and manipulate them. In some cases, more abilities can be developed. I think this could be the case. Y/N’s mutation is evolving. I believe ner powers will rise to the surface very soon.”

“So, what? You will test her like a lab rat,” Logan scoffed, not fond of the idea. “Hadn’t she had enough of that?”

“I’m not saying we will test on her. That will only happen if she’d want to,” Charles said. “We have to wait until she awakes. It can be minutes, hours, or even days. Her mind is locked. I can’t get inside, no matter how much I try.”

“You said she created a force field around the whole school,” Storm looked at Logan. “Her energy got drained to the last bit. No wonder she’s been out for three days now. She’s never done anything like that before. She could have died.”

Jean approached the woman on the bed. She grabbed her hand, scanning the skin. “Why has this been happening for three days?”

“I forgot to mention one thing,” Logan cleared his throat. He crossed his arms over his chest. It got everyone’s attention. “The leader of the Trask unit that came to school was Y/N’s mother.”

“What?” they all said in unison. All eyes were on him.

Logan nodded. “After the accident with Y/N’s sister, her mother joined Trask Industries. She wanted revenge for her lost child. Turns out, she became a respected, high-ranked person there.”

There was silence. The information about Y/N’s mother was shocking. “That is a plot twist,” Storm commented.

“Y/N didn’t know about it, just to clarify,” Logan added strictly.

“She had her eyes on me since I escaped the lab in Salem,” said Y/N’s voice from the bed.

They all turned to the voice. Logan was the first by her side, staring at her face. Her eyes were open a crack. She was getting used to the light. Y/N blinked a few times before her eyes moved to look at Logan. He saw that her irises were glowing like the colours of the force field - silvery and blue. When she blinked again a few times, they turned back to normal.

“JJ was a trap,” she continued. “It gave away my location. Because of me, the children were in danger. Everything that happened was my fault.”

“No,” Storm walked to her from the other side. She grabbed Y/N’s hand. “You couldn’t know that would happen. All you wanted was to save the boy. And you did it. How could you know it was a trap? Also, you protected the whole school. The building is standing still because of you.”

A yawn escaped Y/N’s lips. “Is everyone okay?”

“Yes,” Jean nodded. She had a gentle smile on her face. “They are all back in school. Colossus took them away just in time. The building is standing, and it is all thanks to you.”

“Good,” Y/N closed her eyes. “I’m glad no one got hurt.”

Charles opened his mouth, ready to ask a question. Quickly, he shut it, dismissing what he wanted to ask. “We’ll talk later. Rest,” he suggested.

As they walked away, Y/N opened her eyes and found Logan staring at her. His face was filled with worry. She winked at him. It was a sign to stay. Everyone left while he remained by her bed. The door closed. They were officially alone.

Slowly, she pushed her body up until she was sitting. She stretched her arms. Logan got closer to the bed. Her eyes traced over his body. She realised he wore a simple black T-shirt that perfectly showed his muscles. Her mouth opened, almost dropping down on her lap. Damn. There was an urge to touch his stomach, to feel the abs underneath her touch. She clenched the bedsheet tightly.

“How are you feeling?” Logan’s voice brought her back to reality.

Y/N gulped. “Tired,” she replied. “It might be because I’ve been out for… how long?”

“Three days.”

“That long? Shit,” she shook her head in disbelief. Y/N moved her body. She sat at the edge of the bed, legs hanging in the air. “How are you? What did I miss?”

“A stamp of approval from Scott,” Logan laughed when he said that. “And I’m fine.”

Y/N’s mouth dropped. “Wow, I was expecting everything but that. Wait ‘til he hears about my mother being a part of Trask Industries. He will hate my guts once again. If not more.”

Logan’s eyes took in every detail of Y/N’s face. She had an amused smile on her face. Her eyes were shining with her natural colour. Her hair was all messy and tangled. And yet, she was the perfect thing he ever saw. Logan couldn’t believe he was able to kiss her that night. That dammed night when they were attacked.

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. Y/N noticed it. She took a deep breath, trying to prepare herself for what was about to come. She could feel it in the air. It got thicker and heavier with lust and something beautiful. She didn’t have the time to whisper his name. Logan’s lips found hers in a feverish kiss. One hand grabbed her by the neck to pull her body as close to his as possible. He had to lean down to reach for her lips.

Y/N’s left hand was feeling the hard abs on his abdomen. The other hand pressed against his cheek. She could feel the beard scratching the skin of her palm. How come he was so hot with that mutton chops beard? He could pull it off.

Logan broke the kiss. He sighed, annoyed. Y/N raised a brow. It was a silent question. She wanted to know why he stopped. “You’ll have a visitor in a few seconds.”

“Ah,” she chuckled. Y/N found it amusing. Logan was visibly unhappy someone had to interrupt them again. On the other hand, she admired his advanced hearing. No one needed to know something was happening between them. It was too soon to show. The first thing they needed to do was to talk about it and define what this thing was between them.

As he stepped back, the door opened. Kitty walked in with Jerome by her side. Y/N’s eyes lit up when she saw him. “Hi, JJ!” A smile spread across her face.

“He wanted to see you,” Kitty said when they approached the bed. “He heard us when we talked in the hallway. I hope that’s okay.”

“Of course it is,” Y/N nodded quickly. Her eyes trailed to Logan. He had his arms crossed over his chest, glaring at the child. Y/N wanted to laugh at him. It was funny he was jealous of a kid. When JJ sat on the bed next to her, she patted his head.

“Are you feeling okay?” JJ asked her. “I’ve heard what happened. Everyone knows what happened. You saved the school!”

Y/N blinked a few times. She didn’t know what to say to that. “Yeah, she did,” Logan stepped in. “She got to warn us before the attackers came.”

“That’s badass,” Jerome said excitedly. “How did you know about it? Do you have a new mutation? My friends asked about you,” he kept talking fast. “You are like a celebrity among the students. You are a hero,” he explained.

“Oh,” Y/N was not pleased with that information. She didn’t want to be a hero. “There are better heroes out there. Look at Professor Xavier or Storm, Kitty… they are the real heroes here. I just did what was necessary.”

“I wish I could see it,” JJ sighed, upset that he wasn’t there. Colossus took him and the children to a safe place before the soldiers marched in.

“I’m glad you managed to get to a safe place with Colossus,” Y/N dishevelled his hair.

“How are you feeling, Y/N?” Kitty used the silence to ask her.

“Tired,” she gave her the same answer as she had said to Logan. “Thanks for bringing JJ here. At least I know he’s well,” and she pressed a gentle kiss on top of the boy’s head. He slowly became the little brother she never had.

When Kitty took Jerome away, Logan was relieved to be alone with Y/N again. This time, he sat next to her on the bed. His hand found the back of her neck. He started to massage it. Y/N’s eyes closed. She almost purred. A moan escaped her mouth. Logan’s eyes widened at that sound, and he grinned. “That was a pretty sound. You should make more.”

She glared at him. “Dirty mind.”

When he stopped, he leaned closer. “Let me take you back to your room,” he whispered. He kept breathing in Y/N’s scent.

“Again, dirty mind,” she chuckled.

Logan pressed a soft kiss on her forehead. “You are the one with a dirty mind. I didn’t mean it like that, princess.”

Y/N watched as he got closer, wanting to kiss her again. She pressed an index finger to his lips, stopping him. “I need to do one more thing before we leave,” she said, staring into his eyes. She reached for one of his hands and brushed her fingers against his knuckles. “Scratch me with your claws.”

Logan raised his brows, pushing away a little. “What?”

“Please, do it,” she begged. “I need you to scratch me with them. You’ll see why.”

“No,” he shook his head and pulled away from her. His eyes focused on the floor, frowning. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “You will not hurt me, I promise you. I need to see something. Either you will scratch me with a claw, or I will find a knife and do it myself.”

He growled like a wolf. When Logan clenched a fist, one of the claws slowly came out under his skin. He then turned his body to her. Y/N prepared her forearm. Before he could change his mind, Logan cut into her skin, making her bleed. A second later, the wound lit up like the colours of her forcefield and started closing in front of their eyes.

“Shit,” she mumbled. “I didn’t know I could do that. That’s new.”

“Damn,” Logan sighed. “That explains why we didn’t find any bullet wounds on your body. There was blood but no gashes. You can heal.”

“I can heal,” she nodded. Y/N buried her face into her hands, sighing loudly. “Holy shit, I can heal. That might explain why I could remain alive all these years in the labs. I know it happened when they attacked us. I remember being shot. I remember the pain. When I looked a few seconds later, the wound wasn’t there. I just needed to be sure that it wasn’t a hallucination.”

Logan grabbed one of her hands and pressed a soft kiss on top of it. It was a sweet, loving gesture. “Come on, princess. I’ll take you to your room.”

“Aw, such a gentleman,” she patted his beard-covered cheek playfully. “I should get wounded more. You’ll treat me like a princess every second of my life,” she teased.

“Very funny.”

They left the lowest level underground. Logan kept her close to him but didn’t touch her. They kept some distance between them in case someone decided to appear out of nowhere. He kept an eye on her in case she would show any sign of weakness.

The atmosphere changed when they arrived at the main level. The students were walking around the hallways, chatting. None of them were holding books. It meant only one thing - it was already afternoon.

One by one, they turned their attention to Logan and Y/N. When they found their teachers walking down the hallway, they stopped talking. The attention was now on them. Fingers were being pointed at them, as well as whispers spreading around.

“That’s her,” someone said.

“She saved the school.”

“They protected us.”

“She teaches English.”

“I want to be as cool as them.”

“Miss Y/L/N can make forcefields.”

All Y/N could hear in her mind was freak, weirdo, murderer. You killed her! You killed my baby!

Y/N closed her eyes and stopped walking. The attention was unpleasant. Logan noticed her face. His hand found Y/N’s lower back. It was a gentle gesture. He pressed his fingers lightly against her. Logan kept watching her face. He could see how her breath quickened. “You okay?” he asked.

Y/N gave him one gentle nod. When she opened her eyes, they started to travel around the place. They captured every single child that was staring at her. Their looks were different. The thoughts that were screaming inside her mind eased. They were barely whispers. Before, she’d feel like the biggest weirdo on the entire planet. Now, the feeling was different. She didn’t want to run away from it. Y/N was aware that she and Logan protected the whole school.

Y/N continued to walk through the crowd of students. She headed to the stairs with Logan close behind. No one asked a thing. No one wanted to talk to her. Y/N appreciated it all.

“The kids look up to ya,” Logan said when they climbed all the stairs to the third floor. They stopped in front of Y/N’s room. “They always do when someone becomes a hero,” he made a face.

“I’m no hero,” she shrugged. It made her feel uncomfortable. “I only did what was necessary.”

Logan sighed. “You sure you’ll be fine?”

She leaned against the closed door and smiled. “Yes, I will. Thank you, my knight in shining armour. I shall give you flowers for your bravery,” she bowed to him a little, laughing.

“Text me if you need me, and I’ll come to you, princess,” he winked at her.

Y/N walked into her room. She closed the door, sighing. Logan left without a kiss. Why was she so upset about it? Rolling her eyes, Y/N walked to the bathroom. She needed to shower the last three unconscious days and a fight where she came face to face with her mother.

. . .

It was ten in the evening. The whole school was silent. The students were in their rooms, already asleep. During school days, they all had to be in their dorms before nine.

Y/N was inside her room the whole time. After a long hot shower, she changed into fresh clothes. She then fell asleep on her bed for a few hours. Her body was tired. It called for a nap. Now, she was sitting on the bed, finishing a French braid. Y/N could smell the coconut shampoo on her body. Her mind kept wandering to Logan, her mother and back.

How is it that when something nice was happening, a shit from the past had to appear at the exact moment? Shaking her head, she tied the end of the braid with a rubber band.

There was a knock on the door. Before Y/N could open her mouth, the door slowly opened. Logan walked in, frowning. When he noticed her sitting on the bed, his face softened.

“What’s with the face?” she asked, grinning.

He closed the door behind him and approached the bed. “I was worried, okay?”

Y/N kneeled on the bed, laughing. “Aw, that is so sweet. The big bad Wolverine was worried about me.” Her eyes watched as he took a seat next to her. “I’m sorry for giving you wrinkles. I fell asleep after the shower.”

Logan huffed, nodding. And then, in a mere second, Logan grabbed her into his arms. One held her by the waist while the other was behind her neck. Their lips connected in a sloppy, passionate kiss. At this point, Y/N wasn’t even surprised by his sudden action. All she could do was think about him - his lips, his touch. Their tongues pressed together, mouths sliding hungrily. They got lost in their passion.

“I was worried about you,” said Logan when their lips disconnected. “I was going crazy watching you unconscious on that damn bed,” he admitted. “I’d be really pissed if something happened to you.”

Her finger gently stroked the bridge of his nose. “When I saw you with that collar, powerless, I knew I had to do anything to protect you. You became a simple mortal human being. It wasn’t nice to see you all wounded and defeated. I was worried that…”

Logan’s brows raised. “What?” he asked softly.

“We wouldn’t be able to start whatever it is between us,” she looked away.

Logan sat on the bed and brought her onto his lap. His hands held her by the hips, gripping them tightly. Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her breasts to his chest. “Oh, princess,” he sighed, staring into her eyes. They travelled to her lips. “Good thing we survived. We can now continue where we left off.”

Y/N felt the thrill rushing through her body. However, her face heated up. Suddenly, she was shy. Logan saw it all. One of his hands rested on her cheeks. “Don’t go shy on me now, sweetheart,” he chuckled.

Y/N playfully rolled her eyes. “Well, the last time I had something with a guy was over five years ago,” she made a face.

“We don’t have to…”

“But I want to,” she stopped him by pressing a finger to his lips. “I want to, Logan. I-” Her eyes scanned his green ones. There was something on her lips she wanted to say. It was too soon to confess. Y/N knew what she felt for him, but she didn’t allow herself to say it out loud. After she swallowed the truthful words, she said, “I want you.”

The air changed in the room. With a gentle touch, Logan traced the curves of her body, feeling the tremble of excitement beneath his fingertips. As their lips met in a tender kiss, they both felt the rush of passion surge through them, melting away any lingering doubts or inhibitions.

The first pieces of clothing were gone in mere seconds. Logan took off Y/N’s T-shirt, showing her exposed chest to his eyes. He licked his lips as his eyes observed her beautiful breasts. When Y/N took off Logan’s white tank top, her nails lightly scratched his chest, enjoying the feeling of him under her fingertips. Slowly, they undressed each other, savouring the unveiling of skin, each moment building the intensity of their connection.

Y/N expected that, at some point, Logan would become rougher and impatient. She was surprised when he took his time and didn’t rush things. His touches were gentle and loving as if she were a fragile doll that would break under his touch.

“You smell so good, princess,” he growled. His mouth wrapped around her hardened nipple and sucked on it. He was rewarded with a moan. He sucked on it, circled it with a tongue. When he let it with a pop, Logan looked at her, grinning. “Next time, I will fuck ya like the naughty girl I know you are.”

“Logan,” she whispered his name.

He continued to lavish attention on her breasts. His mouth moved from one nipple to the other, alternating between bites and licks that sent shivers down her spine. He loved how she responded to his attention – it only fueled his passion further.

The moans kept escaping Y/N’s lips after every touch, every stroke and lick. The sound of her moans and gasps filled the air, making Logan’s dick throb painfully.

He grabbed her by the waist and laid her down on the bed. He positioned himself between her legs. “What a beautiful view,” he commented, eyeing her naked upper body.

Her hands reached for the big belt he wore. Y/N unfastened it, unbuttoned the jeans and pulled down the zipper. She realised he wasn’t wearing any underwear. Y/N’s brows raised up, and she grinned at him. She was met with his semi-hard length begging to be taken out of the jeans.“You like going commando?”

“I was in a hurry,” he said, grinning.

Y/N took him out, stroking him slowly from tip to base. She felt him twitch under her touch. He had a nice dick - perfect length, veiny, and he trimmed his pubic hair around his penis and balls. She heard him moan and curse under his nose.

“Fuck, baby girl,” his eyes rolled into the back of his head when she squeezed him harder. He stopped her movements. Logan took her hand off his throbbing member. He brought the hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “I want to be inside of you.”

Logan took off his jeans while his eyes remained on Y/N’s movements. He followed her hands - how they reached for the hem of her shorts. She took off the fabric with panties, and she exposed her pussy for his eyes to see. “Fuck,” he growled.

Once they were both naked, Logan positioned himself at the entrance of her wet pussy, looking down at her face with a mix of determination and desire burning in his eyes. He ran his thumb along her clit, making her squirm.

One last kiss before he positioned himself at her entrance and slowly pushed in. He watched Y/N’s reaction carefully, seeing the way her face contorted into a mixture of pleasure and anticipation. “Shit,” he cursed. “So tight.”

He started to move slowly, allowing their bodies to become one. Logan didn’t want to hurt her. His eyes were locked with hers with every move he made. He wanted to take his time, to savour every moment of being inside her, feeling her surround him completely.

“Fuck,” she gasped. “Faster, Logan. Please.”

Hearing her pleas, Logan's feral instincts kicked in, and he responded by increasing the pace of his thrusts, driving into her tight pussy with forceful strokes. He watched her breasts bounce with every snap of his hips. “You are so fucking pretty like this,” he praised her.

Another loud moan escaped Y/N’s lips. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she pressed him closer to her body, pressing her lips against his in a feverish kiss. It was sloppy and dirty, all tongue and teeth. One of his hands sneaked between their bodies. His thumb found her clit, and he started to toy with it.

Her walls clenched around his length. “Ah, fuck!” she gasped. “I’m so close.”

“Good, baby girl,” he said hoarsely. “Don’t hold up and come for me, pretty girl.”

He heard her cry out and felt her body tense as she approached climax. Logan increased the tempo of his movements even further, driving himself into her. He watched as Y/N reached her peak. Her eyes closed, walled gripped his cock tightly as waves of pleasure ran through her body.

Logan’s release followed a few seconds later. At the last moment, he pulled out and spilt his seed over her lower belly, grunting. “Ah, fuck, fuck,” he cursed.

Logan’s chest heaved with each laboured breath. The scent of sex and sweat filled the air around them as they lay there, spent and satisfied. Y/N turned her head to look at him. She watched as he breathed heavily. A smile appeared on her lips.

“Damn,” she whispered.

He turned his head, catching her eyes. Logan grinned at her. “That’s it?” he teased.

“I am speechless. Isn’t that enough?” Y/N winked at him. She rolled to her side, snuggling her naked body to his. Her fingers absentmindedly started to stroke his chest, brushing through some of the hairs.

Logan managed to capture her lips in a gentle kiss. “How are you feeling?”

Her eyes locked with his. “Happy,” she replied simply.

“How about one more round?” he suggested.

Y/N smacked his chest playfully. “Insatiable man.”

He grabbed her hand and led it down his body to his hard length. Y/N wrapped her fingers around his cock. “What can I say. I can’t get enough of you.”

She giggled. “Cheezy. Fine, one more round.”

“This time, you will ride me, pretty girl.”

#Logan Howlett x reader #Logan Howlett x female rader #Logan Howlett x reader smut #Logan Howlett x female reader smut #Wolverine x reader #Wolverine x female reader #Wolverine x reader smut #Wolverine x female reader smut #Marvel fanfiction #A touch of Hope #Logan Howlett smut

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obessedwithfictionalmen · 2 months

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Co-Stars pt.2

Callum Turner X Actress! Reader

Summary: All the time Callum and Y/n were together in a movie.

Warning: Allusion to sex/ swearing/ kissing/ mention of being naked

Word count: 1.1k

A/n: The movies I selected are not starring Callum (except the only boy living in New York), and the other movies do not have the same actress, so use ✨️imagination✨️

The first time they were in a movie together was in The Only Boy Living in New York, she was playing Tomas’s best friend, and they needed to kiss multiple times. They had chemistry. That was one of the first things the directors told them. It was said in multiple interviews. After the movie came out, they stayed friends, talking to the other, telling each other what they were in. When they got cast in another movie together, as love interest, they were over the moon. Y/n had got the first role, and Callum got the sexy bartender role. The movie was called Burlesque, Y/n had to sing, and Callum thought she was amazing. The interviews that followed the movie were filled with teasing and flirting.

‘’Now, you guys already played love interest in the only boy living in New York, what was your reaction when you learned that you got to do that again?’’ the reporter asked. ‘’For me, I laughed. I was happy that it was him. This movie took me out of my comfort zone and to know that my co-star is one of my best friends was really soothing and yeah, and he’s good looking, so I couldn’t complain’’ she joked. Callum laughed. ‘’It was really fun, she was amazing, her singing was amazing. But yeah, we come as a package now, you want me, you get Y/n’’ he said, laughing. ‘’2 for the price of 1’’ she added to the joke.

The first time she was cast in something that Callum wasn’t in was in the remake of Footloose, she played Ariel. She was confident for this role, but without Callum, it was going to be weird. But the director had a surprise for her.

‘’Uh, sorry why does it say Callum beside the name of Bobby?’’ she asked. Bobby was supposed to be Ariel’s dead brother, but it had flash back scenes. As she said that, Callum entered the room. ‘’Holy shit!’’ she screamed in joy as she got off her chair to run in his arms. ‘’You two come as a package, I couldn’t separate you guys’’ the director said, laughing. ‘’It’s not a lot of scenes, but I thought this might be fun’’ he added. ‘’Thank you so much’’ Y/n chuckled.

Then, Callum and Y/n were cast as voice actors for a movie. The movie was Inside out, Y/n played Disgust and Callum played Fear. They had fun doing their voices, it was something new for the both of them. But the real surprise was when they both got cast in Master of the Air.

‘’Now, guys, ready to meet Callum’s love interest?’’ Tom Hanks asked the actors. They nodded and Y/n entered the room. At first, she was confused, but when she saw Callum, she started to laugh. ‘’No fucking way!’’ she laughed. ‘’The pair strikes again!’’ Austin Butler says, laughing. ‘’Who’s the pair?’’ Anthony Boyle asks. ‘’Them, they’re like the new Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter’’ Bary says. Y/n walked up to Callum to hug him, they were both giggling and blushing. ‘’We’re happy to say, that the cast is now complete! Welcome to the madness, Y/n’’ Steven Spielberg said. When they were shooting their scene, it was always amazing. They almost never had to do more than five takes. The only time they had to do more than five takes was their love scene.

‘’Action!’’ yelled the director. She was in a white dress, so when she would step underwater, it would become transparent. ‘’Rose, what are you doing here?’’ Callum said, in an American accent. Her turned around to look at her, he was in the shower. She entered the shower, still maintaining eye contact. ‘’John, I can’t keep acting like ahhhh’’ she yelled as she slipped in the shower, almost falling, but Callum catches her before she fell on the ground. They both started to laugh as the director yelled cut. ‘’Y/n are you okay?’’ She nodded as they continued laughing. ‘’Yeah, I’m okay, I’m sorry!’’ she said, calming down. They calmed down and put themselves in their characters again. It was their fifth take, they had to get it right. ‘’Action’’ They redid the scene they did before Y/n almost fell. Now, she was in the shower, soaking wet. In a now completely transparent dress. ‘’Are you going to kiss me, Major?’’ she said, with a flirting voice. ‘’I’m going to do more than kiss you’’ Callum said, with the American accent. Y/n slightly opened her mouth, but it was enough for a drop of water to go straight in her throat, making her chock on it. She started to cough really hard. ‘’I’m (cough) so sorry (cough)’’ she apologized. She felt bad for ruining the scene, but she was literally choking on water. ‘’Do we need a medic?’’ Tom Hanks asked. Callum started to gently tap her back, to help her cough. ‘’She’s still breathing, she might need a minute’’ he said. ‘’I’m (cough) choking on water (cough) it’s ridiculous. (cough)’’ she said. ‘’Stop talking, try to get the water out’’ Callum laughed.

The bloopers of Master of the Air got out and the moment where Y/n chocked made people laugh. So, when the were interviewed, people wanted to know more about it and what happened.

‘’Julie wanted to know, what was the hardest scene to shoot?’’ Josh asked. The cast started to laugh. ‘’For me, it was the shower sex scene. I mean, people have seen the bloopers. And the take before that I almost fell because it was slippery. And before Callum kissed me, I started to choke on water. So, I was like’’ she got up her chair, putted her hands on her knees, like she was out of breath. ‘’I’m okay (fake cough). I’m sorry (fake cough) I’m okay (fake cough). And Callum was tapping my back like: No she’s not!’’ she said with a fake British accent at the end. Callum started laughing even more, and so did Anthony Boyle. ‘’I was watching them, and Tom Hanks said to me: Do you really think she’ll survive this?’’ he laughed. Y/n came back in her seat and laughed more. ‘’We never had a boring day on set with those two. It was always fun’’ Austin said. ‘’At first, when she started choking, I thought, is it my fault? But when she said she was choking on water, I started to laugh, but I didn’t want to because she was coughing and it was serious, but she was so funny’’ Callum said. ‘’And I was almost naked! Cause I was wearing a white blouse that was supposed to become transparent, so I was coughing and trying to hide my tits. It was a really funny day on set’’ she added. The crowd was laughing and screaming. ‘’And you specify the place of the sex scene, is it that you guys have multiple sex scenes?’’ Josh asked. Callum and Y/n looked at each other, and they laughed. ‘’Well, maybe we don’t want to spoil the fans!’’ Callum exclaimed. Y/n hid her head in her hands and laughed again. Then she brought the mic next to her mouth. ‘’We saw in the trailer that we had, I think we have in total like 5 sex scenes’’ she admitted. The fans yelled and expressed their happiness. ‘’Next’’ Y/n said, red as a tomato.

#callum turner x reader #callum turner imagine #callum turner #co star #actress!reader

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acewritesfics · 4 months

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I Promised You Forever | Jay Halstead

⚠️ THIS IS A REPOST FROM MY MAIN BLOG @/DLMLUFICS.

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Request: From anon

Fic Type: Imagine

Warnings: A little angst. A little fluff. Mentions of a shooting and surgeries.

Word Count: 945

JAY HALSTEAD MASTERLIST || TAG LIST SIGN-UP

“Get to Med… Jay’s been shot.”

As she waits in the waiting room at Gaffney Chicago Medical Center, the sound of her sergeant’s words echoes in her ears. Her heart is racing, her knee is bouncing, her hands are trembling, and dried up tear streaks run down her face. She feels like she’s been sitting in the room for an eternity, waiting for any news about her husband’s condition. He was already in surgery by the time she got at the hospital, which was a little more than two hours ago.

“Y/N!” she hears her partner, Kim Burgess, call out as she approaches her. When the brunette reaches her, she embraces her tightly.

After Jay and Y/N revealed their relationship to Voight, the two women became partners. They’ve been like sisters since they went through the academy together, and they got even closer after Y/N and Hailey Upton were transferred to Intelligence after Erin Lindsey left.

“Has there been any news?”

“I haven’t heard anything; Will just went to see if he can get an update,” she says before breaking down again. “I can’t lose him, Kim,” she cries into the shoulder of her best friend. “I can’t do it without him. We just got married. I can’t be without him.”

“Jay’s strong; he’ll get through this,” Kim reassures her as she rubs her back and squeezes her even tighter; it crushes her heart to see her best friend and chosen sister like this.

“Did you get the person who shot him?” she says, pulling away from Kim and angrily wiping away the fresh set of tears that are falling. The anger in eyes and voice wasn’t intended for her partner, or Adam who had been with Jay at the time of the shooting, or the rest of their team but at the guy who fired the gun at her husband and shot him. She begged Hank to give her five minutes with the person when they apprehended him, but Hank ordered her to stay at the hospital because that’s where she needed to be the most and swore he wouldn’t go easy with the guy.

Kim replies, moving to sit in the chair next to the one she was in, “He’s in custody. Voight’s making his life a living hell, I’m sure of it.”

She sits back down next to her and asks, “How’s Ruz?”

“He’s blaming himself,” Kim replies. “He’ll be here when he’s cleaned himself up, and the others will be here after they’ve finished with the interrogation.”

She nods, letting Kim know she heard her.

Minutes pass as they sit in quiet, Kim holding her hand and reminding her that she is not alone. Will eventually returns and informs her that there haven’t been any updates just yet before he leaves once more to grab them all some coffee.

Just as Will comes back with Adam following behind him, the surgeon walks into the waiting room.

As he approaches, Y/N and Kim get to their feet. As the doctor begins to talk, Will moves to stand next to his sister-in-law. “Surgery went smoothly. We removed the bullet, stopped the bleeding, and repaired the damage the bullet caused. Jay will make a full recovery, but he will need to take it easy for some time.”

Y/N exhales with relief, “I’ll make sure he does. Can we see him?”

“Two at a time,” the doctor says with a nod.

“Adam and I will go update everyone,” Kim says to her and Will before exiting the waiting room with Adam.

The doctor leads Will and Y/N to the room where Jay has been moved. Jay opens his eyes and looks sleepily at his wife and brother as soon as they enter the room.

“Oh, baby,” Y/N breathes as she walks over to his bed and takes his hand in hers, looking at him with tenderness. “Please don’t put me through that again.”

“I can’t make any promises,” he says drowsily with a small smile. He raises her hand and kisses the back of it.

“How are you feeling?” Will asks as he stands beside Y/N.

Jay jokes with a slight smirk on his lips, “Like I was shot.

Y/N scowls at him, not in the mood for jokes right now, and says, "Don’t joke.”

“You love me, and you know it,” he gives her a small smile letting her know he’s teasing her.

“I need to get back to work, but I’ll stop by after my shift,” Will tells his brother, stopping Y/N from that is retaliating. “I’ll make sure to bring you some decent food.”

“Thank you, Will,” she says as he exits the room. Looking back at her husband, she sits on the edge of the hospital bed, clutching his hand on her lap. “I was so scared I would lose you.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he assures her. “We still have a lot to do together.”

She leans down and gives him a soft kiss while whispering, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he replies as he kisses her again. “Now, come lie down with me.”

“You’ve just gotten out of surgery. I don’t want to cause you more pain.”

“They’ve got me on the good stuff, honey, and after what I just went through, all I want to do is hold my wife and remind her that us Halstead’s aren’t easy to take down,” he says and pulls her close to him, moving them so she can lay down beside him.

With his arm across her shoulders and her head on his, he presses a kiss to her forehead and whispers, “I promised you forever. I’m keeping that promise.”

TAGGED: @mrspeacem1nusone - @halsteadbrasil - @allisonargent144 - @cs-please -

#acewritesfics repost #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead #chicago pd #chicago pd x reader

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halsteadlover · 9 months

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Unexpected

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Female!Reader.

• Requested by @stu-machers-girl: Reader had known Jay since she’d first started as a dispatcher for Chicago. It wasn’t long until she’d developed a crush on the older man. She didn’t say anything since she realized he was dating Erin but then she left. She left and Jay got kidnapped; reader heard it over the radio. Hank texted her to say they’d found him and she left her job without saying anything and sped to the hospital. When she saw the blonde detective in the waiting room they got into a fight and reader punched her. She refused to leave the hospital until Jay woke up and laid in bed with him the entire time. When he woke up, in the heat of the moment her lips were on his in a moment.

• Warnings: slight mention of injuries and ‘violence’ (pls bear with me I can’t write fight scene not even for saving my life), cuss words. I don’t know, let me know if there’s anything else <3

• Word count: 8368.

• A/N: so yeah, I got carried away, pls don’t hate me, I think that’s the longest piece I’ve ever written 😭. I changed it up a bit at the end, I hope it’s okay. Please let me know what you think of this? I hope you’ll like it and I already apologize for any grammar error ❤️ comment, like and reblog if you want, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you so much for your constant support, I love you all xx

It was hard.

God, why did being in love have to be so tough?

You thought it’d be easier to control your feelings. You thought you'd be better at pretending everything was fine, pretending your heart didn't actually open into a chasm every time you even heard his name.

You thought it was just a simple crush, a simple infatuation that – knowing it couldn't go any further – it’d soon vanish. But unfortunately it wasn't easy and you soon found yourself in a spiral of suffering and thuds in your stomach. Your mind knew there would never be anything but your heart didn't want to understand it.

Falling in love with Jay wasn't planned, you’d never imagine it and you couldn't even explain how it happened or when. It's those things that just happen without any warning.

You first met Jay after your first shift as a paramedic at Molly's, where your colleagues used to meet after their shifts.

You were sitting at a table with a beer in front of you, you didn't know anyone yet – except for the colleagues you had met during the day who weren't there – and you looked around, sipping the drink from time to time, wondering when you were going to start to feel that place like home.

You moved to Chicago a month prior and it goes without saying you underestimated how difficult it’d be to start a new life in a new city, starting from scratch.

Jay had seen you from afar, looking tired and disoriented and for some reason he had decided to approach you.

When you first saw him you felt the air being cut from your chest, you didn't expect someone – someone so damn beautiful – to approach you.

That stranger you soon discovered was named Jay found himself talking with you, asking you questions about yourself and why he had never seen you before. You explained to him that you had just started working and you found out he had been a detective in the Intelligence unit for about six months.

You were never one to talk to strangers, to tell someone something about your life on the first time you met them, but for some strange reason those bright green eyes and his reassuring smile made you feel at ease, and as the evening wore by, you thanked yourself for not deciding to stay home that night.

Jay was an angel to you, literally.

After that evening he promised you he’d give you a tour of the city, making you visit the most beautiful places and taking you to the best places to eat. You exchanged numbers and he also made you promise you’d call him whenever you felt alone and wanted company.

He also introduced you to the rest of his team, as well as his closest friends, and they were just as kind and welcoming, letting you know you’d meet several times even during work shifts because of criminals and things like that.

Three years have passed since that evening and Jay kept all his promises.

Over time he became your closest friend and you spent time together whenever you both could. You had become his anchor and he had become your safe haven.

You had promised yourself over the time that your friendship would never go any further – also because Jay had never done anything that could’ve made you think otherwise – but the more time you spent together, the more you found yourself falling more and more in love with him.

You’d never tell him about it, even if it meant crying nights where you wanted to do nothing but run away and forget about him. If it was initially bearable and there was your friendship to give you strength, seeing him with another woman broke your heart more than you ever expected.

Erin was a colleague of his and you had seen their love story born right away. You'd heard Jay confide in you about her, asking you for advice on her when they were fighting, and you were there every time listening to him trying not to cry in front of him. There were times when Jay noticed that there was something wrong with you, he knew you by now, but you always managed to disengage the conversation by telling him that you were just tired from work.

You promised yourself you'd always be by his side but seeing him so happy with her… Damn it, it was so hard.

You couldn't take it anymore, you were a walking disaster and all your colleagues and friends saw how you weren't as happy and carefree as you used to be. Sylvie, who was one of your closest friends and who knew all the history with Jay, tried to always be by your side, convincing you to move on, to try to open up your world and that you didn't have to cry for him forever.

She was right, completely right.

Because of this, you had begun to distance yourself from Jay a little bit, making excuses not to go out after work or limiting interactions during the shift to the minimum possible and not speaking to him except from a professional point of view.

This broke your heart, you missed spending time with him, God how you missed him, but more than him you had to love yourself and you knew spending time with him, seeing him with another woman only would made you suffer.

Jay had immediately perceived this change but he couldn't explain why. He had tried so many times to talk to you but you didn't want to tell him what was going on and it made him particularly tense and uncomfortable.

Even Erin had noticed his moodiness and she hated to know it was because of you. She hated you were always there, in front of him, in his head, always on the way, she hated seeing how much he cared about you, she hated the way he dropped everything and ran to you whenever you needed him.

She hated you.

And, dear lord, how much you hated her too. The feelings between you and her were pretty mutual.

You didn't know it, but you had been the cause of many arguments a thousand times between them. Erin wanted him to stay away from you, Jay refused to and always told her if she really wanted him you were part of the deal, take it or leave it.

You were at home one evening, resting on the sofa after a grueling work shift while watching a movie on TV and eating some chips. Sylvie had offered you to go to some bar and get drunk but you declined, not in the mood to socialize or even drink. You just wanted to stay at home and rest, hoping that day would soon be forgotten.

The ringing of your doorbell almost made you jump and you furrowed your eyebrows, not expecting anyone at the time. You placed the bowl of chips on the coffee table in front of the sofa and got up and as you rubbed your hands on your shirt to remove the crumbs from the chips, you went towards the door.

You expected it to be Sylvie but, after looking through the peephole, your heart skipped a beat when you realized it was Jay.

“Oh god,” you muttered to yourself, glancing at your shabby outfit which consisted of a simple pair of midnight blue leggings and a gray t-shirt.

What was he doing there?

“Y/N open the door, I know you're home,” Jay's voice came muffled through the door. For a moment you considered ignoring him until he got tired of it and walked away but you knew that would never happen and he’d keep banging on the doorbell until you opened it.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down and slow down your racing heartbeat, and opened the door after removing the chain.

Jay looked up at you, his features visibly relaxing as his eyes fell on your figure. Your mouth felt dry as your gaze traveled up and down his body for an instant, as if to accept that he was fine.

“Hi,” you muttered, your voice so thin you were afraid he might not hear you. Your stomach was in a vice and a flock of butterflies had exploded inside you. A wave of heat run through your body and you were sure the flush of your cheeks was comparable to a tomato. “Come in.”

Why were you feeling so damn nervous? He was always Jay, he was always your best friend.

But the best friend I love madly, added your conscience.

Maybe you were nervous because you haven't seen him in two weeks, avoiding him like the plague.

You opened the door and moved to the side, giving him space to enter and as he passed the trail of his scent hit you full in the face making you almost faint.

I can’t do this.

Jay sat on the couch without saying anything, glancing at the TV that was still playing the movie, waiting for you to join him.

“You okay?” you asked as your eyes noticed the way his face was screwed up in a less than happy expression. You tried to avoid him yes, for your own good, but the thought something might’ve happened to him was tormenting you. He sighed deeply, rubbing his hands against his face in frustration before glancing at you.

“I don’t know to be honest,” he replied, but without elaborating further “What about you? Why did you disappear for the last couple of weeks? I texted you I don't know how many times and called you a thousand times. Did I do something wrong?”.

The crack your heart made was so loud you thought even Jay could hear it from where he sat. Your brain stopped working for a moment trying to think of a response to give him that wasn't ‘you know Jay I was avoiding you because I love you and because I hate seeing you with that snake’.

“N-no, of course not Jay how can you think that?” You replied, moving closer to him and taking his hand in yours, instantly feeling a rush of shivers running down your spine. He glanced at your clasped hands and then at you, with an expression you couldn't quite read.

“I… I don't know,” he sighed, his hand caressing the back of your hand, something he didn’t quite realize he was doing “I just… I missed you.”

If your heart was already broken, at this very moment it exploded into a thousand pieces of confetti and colors inside your chest. It was as if you had been punched in the stomach, the breath cut from your lungs. It was so good to hear him say it but so painful at the same time.

You wanted to yell at him to not to say it again, because you knew his ‘I missed you’ wasn't meant in the same way you missed him.

“I missed you too so much Jay,” you almost whispered, smiling at the same time to mask the sudden urge to cry. You let go of his hand, unable to maintain that contact anymore without your stomach doing somersaults. The absence of his warmth was immediately felt but you tried to remain as impassive as possible. “What happened? If you've come here at almost midnight it's because there's something wrong. Do you want to talk to me about it?”.

He nodded feebly, taking his gaze away from you to the ceiling. He was leaning back on the sofa, his head on it as his eyes roamed the white ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing on the planet, his hands folded on his stomach.

“Erin and I broke up.”

You’d imagined anything, a problem at work, maybe a family issue, anything else, but not the words that had just slipped from his mouth.

You couldn't hide the shock as your eyes and mouth opened wide and you even felt guilty for an instant when the only feeling you felt was… Relief, joy. “W-what? How? When? Why?” You bombarded him with questions “I'm sorry Jay,” but you weren't sorry about what had happened. You were sorry because seeing him like that was painful and you would’ve done anything to make him feel better, seeing his beautiful smile on his face.

He brought his eyes from the ceiling to yours, turning his head to the side to look at you. He didn't say anything, he just looked at you. For the second time since he came over, you couldn't read his gaze and you would’ve paid gold to know what he was thinking.

He was looking at you and you felt as if a rope had been placed around your neck and your grip tightened by the way your breath was cut in half. He looked at you with such an intensity as if he wanted to read your soul, analyzing every inch of your face at the same time and in that moment more than ever you wanted to shrink to such a point you’d disappear from his sight.

He looked at you as if he was looking at you for the first time and you felt vulnerable, exposed and while his eyes were chained to yours for an instant you feared he could find out about your feelings for him just by the was his eyes were piercing you.

It was you who looked away first, unable to maintain eye contact anymore and fearing you might say something stupid if you continued to stare at him for another few seconds.

Your heart was pounding so hard you thought it would stop any second as you kept repeating yourself to stay calm. The blush on your cheeks showed no sign of fading and you thanked God that the lights in the living room were off and that there was only the one on the TV which, however, didn't illuminate quite well your face.

The sigh Jay let out made you look up at him, noticing he was still looking at you. But when your eyes ended up on his again, he was the one to look away.

“Don’t need to be sorry,” he said simply and you nodded though he couldn't even see you, “She left.”

For the second time another wave of shock went through you and a thousand questions crossed your mind. You couldn't say you weren't sorry, you would’ve been hypocritical to say otherwise, but you wondered what the hell had happened. How did they go from being the happiest couple alive to her walking away? For what reason did she leave?

It wouldn't have surprised you at all if she was the reason for the breakup, you didn't know her well – you didn't want to – but based on what Jay told you, she had a habit of running away from every fight and problem that came up.

“She always does, doesn’t she? She will definitely come back,” you answered even as you prayed deep inside with every fiber of your being that it wouldn't happen. You knew you were selfish, he was hurting but damn it, you were human too and you couldn't mask what you didn't feel.

He shook his head slightly. “No, I don't think she will,” He lifted his head, sitting up straight and looking at you again. “And for what that matters, I don't even care if she comes back or not,” he paused again, thinking about his words “But, I don't want to talk about it.”

“Yeah sorry,” there was a moment of silence where you looked at each other again and the way he was looking at you was making your stomach twist like a contortionist “But just tell me how you are you feeling Jay, I hate seeing you like this,” and you were sincere, although you didn't like Erin, you wished nothing but happiness for Jay and seeing him like this made you feel as helpless as few other times.

“I'm fine now,” he replied and he really seemed to be sincere “Really, I feel… Relieved. I just needed to be with my best friend now. You made me worry so much you know that?”.

My best friend.

You tried to ignore the thud in your heart. “I'm really sorry Jay. It was such a hectic time between work I didn't have time for anything else. I'm sorry I wasn't around so much.”

He shook his head again, as if to tell you not to worry by smiling weakly and causing a feeling of warmth to spread through your heart. “What matters to me is that you’re okay I… I really missed you.”

The next day you went to work with the dark circles under your eyes reaching down to your feet. You only managed to sleep a couple of hours the night before, having spent most of the night talking to Jay.

God how much you loved that man.

When you were with him it was as if the world around you vanished and it didn't matter how long you lost touch or didn't speak to each other, the moment you’d meet again everything was back to the way it was before, as if time had never passed.

You found yourself talking late, losing track of time, laughing and joking as always and it was times like this that reminded you why you were in love with him. Jay didn't stop smiling even for a minute and seeing him so carefree, even if only for a while, was beautiful. He deserved to be happy, always.

You talked and talked and talked until you fell asleep on the sofa in each other's arms. Only when you opened your eyes you realized your head was resting on his chest and his arm was possessively encircling your waist. You stayed paralyzed for an instant, afraid to make any movement that might wake him up.

He must not have noticed it.

You cautiously sat up and then brought your gaze to him, letting your eyes wander over his relaxed features and you let yourself go for a moment to your fantasy. A fantasy where Jay being there next to you was normal, were you could wake up every morning in his arms as he tightly hugged you.

During your work shift you tried to keep your mind busy, focusing only on the calls and the patients you’d be treating.

Two days flew by like this, with Sylvie doing nothing but tease you about Jay after you told her what had happened. You omitted he and Erin had broken up, this wasn't about you and it wasn't your call to tell other people.

However, you hadn't heard from Jay for two days, he didn't text you or even replied to yours. Only then you understood how he must’ve felt when it was you who didn't reply to his text and you promised yourself you’d never do anything like this again.

You were scared to death because he didn't usually disappear like that, so suddenly, and given the nature of his work you couldn't help but imagine that something terrible had happened and the more time passed, the more this thesis was confirmed.

Of course, you knew he couldn't always answer the phone, and there had been other times when, for example, following an undercover operation you didn't hear from him for even a week but in those cases he did everything to warn you first, reassuring you’d see each other as soon as possible.

This time, however, you had a horrible feeling, a premonition that was sadly confirmed by Voight.

You were packing up the ambulance near the end of your shift when your cell phone rang and Sergeant Voight's name appeared on your screen. Your heart instantly skipped a beat and you instantly understood something serious must’ve happened for him to call you.

“Hello? Sarge?” you answered almost immediately.

“Hi kid,” his hoarse voice replied “I hope I’m not disturbing you. It’s about Halstead…”

You closed your eyes as if those words had caused you physical pain, as if someone had hit you in the face. All the colors disappeared from your face and anxiety twisted your stomach.

“What happened? Is he fine? Tell me he's okay please,” you spoke frantically, getting out of the ambulance and closing it “Where is he?”.

You heard Voight sigh on the other end of the phone. “He's fine now, he… He was kidnapped but we found him. We are at Med's. I wanted to tell you before you heard from someone else. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you.”

You couldn't describe the horrible feeling that went through you hearing those words. It was like someone ripped your heart out of your chest clamping your lungs, you stopped breathing for a second and you didn't care how exaggerated that might be, but whatever happened to him you wished it was you on the hospital bed.

“I'll be right there,” you said and closed the call before waiting for Voight’s answer. You didn't even care about warning your boss, much less some of your colleagues watched you ran away like you were nuts, you just wanted to go to him, you just wanted to see him, make sure he was okay.

The car journey to the Med's was one of the most distressing and longest of your life. You nearly collided with other cars several times but at that moment the only thought that crossed your mind was Jay.

What had happened to him? Was it serious? Was he awake?

God please let him be okay.

You tried to swallow the lump in your throat. That wasn't the time to cry, to be weak, you had to be there for Jay.

You thought for a moment what would happen if… God, fuck, you didn't even want to think about it, you couldn't imagine it. You couldn't even think of not having him in your life, you couldn't imagine not being able to see him anymore, getting lost in his eyes, never hearing his laughter or seeing his radiant smile again. You couldn't even think you couldn't hug him when you were sad, stuff yourselves with food watching trash TV until a nervous breakdown.

You didn't even realize you were crying until you got to Med's and parked your car. You quickly dried your tears and ran to the hospital, where, in the waiting room, you found all of his colleagues. And by all of his colleagues, you meant everyone.

Erin Lindsay was there and her disgusted gaze was on you.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” she exclaimed approaching you threateningly. You didn't let yourself be intimidated, on the contrary, the mere tone of her voice made your blood boil in your veins. How dare she talk to you like that?

“Don't you even dare take one more step towards me. Move out to way, I’m here to see Jay,” you spat with venom as the others looked at each other unsure whether to intervene or not.

“Lindsay…” Voight called back, grabbing her arm but she jerked away from his grip, still glaring at you with contempt.

“Turn your ass and get the fuck out of here. I've had enough of you, I'm so tired of always having you around Y/N. Why don't you just understand he doesn't want you?!”.

“You seem to be very familiar with walking away and running away don't you? Isn't that what you always do huh? Avoid problems? You really got some nerve to be here after you left him,” you pointed a finger at her. “I'm not going to stand here and make you yell at me. You really want me to believe you care about him? You wouldn't even be here if he wasn’t kidnapped!”.

“I left him? Is that what he told you?” Erin let out a wry laugh “I can’t believe it. I really wonder what he saw in you. Seriously, look at yourself. You're so pathetic...”

A wave of anger shot through your body and before she could even continue her insults, your fist slammed into her face, causing her to flinch back. Everyone let out a verse of bewilderment, immediately intervening to separate you and Lindsay who were about to kill each other right then and there.

“Y/N! Fuck’s sake! Just calm down! Take it easy, it’s okay,” Kevin dragged you away, shaking you off your shoulders as if to bring you to your senses. You watched her walk away with Voight, one hand on her bleeding nose.

You knew the repercussions there would be but you couldn't care less because it felt so good. You've wanted to do this for so long, for the way she's always treated you, for the contempt she's always shown towards you.

“I'm calm, I'm okay,” you muttered, throwing your hands up in surrender and trying to ignore the pain in the hand you punched her with. “I'm sorry about this but… I have to…”

“I know that's not true,” Kevin chuckled “Go,” he nodded towards Jay's room and without having to repeat it twice you immediately went to him.

You entered the room and closed the door behind you, immediately glancing at the man lying on the bed and the sound of his heartbeats coming from the machine filled the silence.

Your heart broke into a thousand pieces as you saw his battered face, a purple bruise on his cheek, a cut on his eyebrow and and other one on the lower lip which felt deep and quite sore. But despite this he was still the most beautiful man you've ever seen in your life.

You approached him, keeping as quiet as possible in an effort not to wake him up. He almost looked like an angel while he slept, as if nothing could hurt or disturb him at that moment.

You placed a hand on his cheek, caressing it with such delicacy and lightness you were almost uncertain of the contact. Your fingers ran through his hair, a gesture you knew he loved and made him relaxed.

Your eyes traveled down his chest and only then you noticed the white bandage that wrapped around his chest. You tried to keep from crying. You hated it, you hated he was suffering, you hated you weren't there with him to help him. Your heart was tightened even more as you noticed red marks on his wrists, some superficial and some a little deeper, a sign that he had been tied up.

“What have they done to you?” You whispered and your eyes were on his face again, continuing to run your fingers gently through his hair. “I'm so sorry Jay.”

You didn't know exactly what you were apologizing for, you just did.

You stayed next to him for an indefinite amount of time, you didn't look at the time but you understood that hours had passed when the sunlight was replaced by the darkness of the night.

Will tried to convince you to go home and rest and that he’d call you for any news but you refused, you didn't want Jay to wake up alone in that cold hospital room. You knew how much he loathed them and you wanted him to see a friendly face as soon as he opened his eyes.

The attempt of Jay's team was also useless, when they understood you’d never leave until he woke up, they recommended you to update them on any changes.

You spent hours sitting on a chair next to his bed until you too were asleep, your arms resting on Jay's legs.

When he opened his eyes he found himself plunged into darkness if it hadn't been for the dim light from the hospital chandelier. It didn't take him long to remember what had happened, what had led him to be there. He tried to stand up but an excruciating pain shot through his chest, forcing him to lay down again.

This and also the sleeping figure in front of him.

A small smile was born on his swollen lips as he watched you sleep sitting on the chair that seemed anything but comfortable. How long have you been there?

He raised a hand and didn't even have time to rest it on your arm before you snapped sitting, looking around panicked for a moment. Your eyes widened to see Jay in front of you with his eyes finally open and the joy you felt in that moment was like nothing else you've ever felt.

“Jay! Thank God you're awake!” You exclaimed and in the joy of the moment you hugged him, squeezing him harder than you should’ve and letting a small cry of pain escape him “Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you,” you pulled away from him “How are you feeling? Are you okay? Should I call Will?”.

Jay shook his head slightly, a small smile on his lips. “I am fine. Where is the bed remote control? I need to sit up.”

You quickly grabbed the remote from the nightstand next to the bed and handed it to him, watching as the back of the bed lifted and he settled into position so he could finally take a good look at you. “Come here, why are you so far away?” He patted the mattress and you didn't let yourself repeat it twice, sitting next to him.

“Voight called me…” you were the first to speak “But he didn't tell me what happened.”

Jay let out a sigh, flinching as a pain shot through his chest. “It was an undercover mission, nothing too difficult. I was supposed to exchange the money with the drugs and then arrest them. Easy,” he explained, “I don’t know how but someone of them found out I was a cop so they kidnapped me and as you can see they beat me up for the holidays.”

Your eyes filled with tears but that time you couldn't hold them back. You felt a whirlwind of emotions, fear, happiness, anxiety, relief and it was too much for you to hold back and you lowered your gaze to not let him see you.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Jay's voice came as a sweet melody to your ears “Please don't cry Y/N, I don’t like seeing you like this. It's okay now, I'm fine, it's going to take a lot longer for you to get rid of me,” he attempted to reassure you. “Come here darling.” His hands pulled you close as his arms wrapped around you in a warm hug. You hugged him back, being careful not to hurt him further, and let yourself go into a liberating cry, so grateful you still had the opportunity to be able to do this.

His lips kissed your cheek and your heart leapt in your chest at the contact.

God Jay you're killing me.

“I'm so sorry Jay, you shouldn't be the one to comfort me now,” you murmured, pulling away from the hug, still looking down. You grabbed a tissue off the top of the nightstand and wiped away your tears, still shaken from everything that had happened. You felt so selfish at the same time Jay was on a hospital bed and you were the desperate one.

“Y/N don't even say that as a joke. Look at me, please.”

You did as he told you and your eyes met his, triggering a sensation that was like being kicked in the stomach.

“I'm fine, okay? These are just bruises, they hurt but they will go away. I wish I could tell you it's the last time but I can't, it will happen again but I want you to know I’ll always find a way back to you, okay? I won't leave you alone.”

His words were like a snake venom and antidote at the same time.

“Jay… Please…” you whispered, tears still flowing from your eyes “Don't do this to me.”

A confused expression appeared on his face. “What do you mean?”.

You shook your head, as if trying to tell him it didn't mean anything. “I just… I was so scared Jay…I thought about losing you…”

Jay reached for your hand but a frown appeared on his face as he noticed, despite the dim lights, the swelling on it. “Y/N what the hell is this? What happened to you? Why is your hand like this?”.

Shit.

You withdrew your hand, moving your fingers slightly but not showing how sore it was. You had never thrown a punch before and never imagined how painful it was. “Nothing. I closed my hand in the car door on the way here, it's no big deal.”

You knew he’d never buy this excuse but it was worth a try.

“Do you really think I’m that stupid? Tell me the truth. Did someone hurt you?”.

You sighed. “You’ll hate me.”

Jay looked at you like you just sprouted a second head, really confused. “What? Why on earth should I hate you?”.

“I punched Erin,” you blurted out so quickly, wishing he hadn't heard you but when you saw his eyes widen so wide they almost popped out of their socket, you knew he definitely did.

“What? You really did it? Seriously?” He struggled to imagine that you could do something like that, you’d never hurt even a fly. “Why? Why happened?”.

“She started saying bad things to me and I got so mad so I just… Punched her,” you sighed “I didn't even realize it… I know I shouldn't have…”

Jay was silent for a moment, still unable to believe what you had just said. He knew there was bad blood between you and his ex-girlfriend but he never imagined you’d even punch her but he also knew, without any shadow of a doubt, that if you had come this far it was because you had a reason to.

“You hate me now right?”.

He shook his head. “Absolutely not Y/N. I mean, I don't like the idea of you going around punching people but I guess you had your reasons.”

You thought back to Erin's words and that was enough to make you angry again. She deserved it all right and you don't regret it even a bit.

“She's still your ex girlfriend…”

“I know.”

You noticed the way his expression didn't change a bit at the mention of her, he had no reaction. He was more worried about your hand then her. “You don’t care she was here?”.

He remained silent for a moment, observing you for a few moments and then shook his head slightly. “Not one bit, I told I wouldn’t care if she came back. I know it's a bad thing to say, but that's how it is.”

“But you were together until a few days ago how can you not care?” You were so confused.

“I’m the one broke up with her, after all. I think it's normal.”

It wasn’t but still.

It was your turn to widen your eyes and mouth in shock. Did you hear that right?

“What? Really?! I thought she was the one who left you.”

You never expected it, you really thought sue was the one who suddenly left him and not the other way around. You had so many questions to ask him but you didn't know whether to ask him or not, after all it was none of your business.

He nodded. “It wasn't fair to just go on with that relationship, not for me or for her.”

“And why’s that?” you asked, afraid to hear the answer. Your eyes were fixed on him and even with that little light they managed to shine and stand out. Your heart was pounding so hard you thought you were having a heart attack at any moment, the air suddenly became tense and every cell in your body seemed to be on fire.

“I…” he spoke “I have someone else in mind.”

Your pounding heart stopped for an instant and the thump in your stomach was such that you felt like you were about to throw up.

“Oh.”

That was all you could say. You tried to keep your expression neutral as if these short simple words hadn't hit you full in the face like a lorry. Being run over would’ve probably hurt less.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, biting the insides of your cheeks and pressing nails against your palms to avoid crying in front of him again.

You couldn't believe it, or rather, yes, you could believe it but you didn't imagine it would hurt so much. You couldn’t believe it was happening again. It was like Erin all over again.

Oh god no please, I can’t do this.

You wondered who she was. Was she someone you knew? He had never mentioned someone else yet you two talked about everything. Or almost everything.

You looked down rubbing your hands on your pants before standing up and walking over to the nightstand. Jay followed your movements with his eyes, watching you pour water into a glass before drinking it in one gulp.

“Do you want some?” you asked him, but without looking at him and keeping your eyes on the glass

“Yes, thank you,” he replied confused “Y/N… Are you okay?”.

“Sure,” you babbled as you grabbed another glass and poured some water into it. You handed it to him, never meeting his eyes. You couldn't look at him, not at the time. If you had done it you would’ve collapsed and you couldn't in front of him, you didn't want to.

He drank the water and the dryness in his throat finally went away, feeling suddenly better. He continued to look at you, noting how your head was turned towards the window.

“Y/N… Can you look at me please? What’s going on?” he pressed confused on your sudden change of mood.

You turned to him and gave him a quick glance, noticing the empty plastic cup in his hands. “Do you want some more?” You asked feebly as you reached up to him to take your glass but before you could pull away he grabbed your wrists, his grip both firm and delicate at the same time. You jumped, not expecting it, dropping the plastic glass on the floor.

“Look at me,” he urged but you refused, your eyes watering and the lump in your throat increasingly suffocating. A solitary tear slid down your cheek as he placed his thumb and forefinger under your chin, lifting your head and forcing you to look at him.

“Y/N talk to me please,” he whispered and his tone was so soft it was enough to send you over the edge. You lost control and started crying. He pulled you into a hug, wrapping his arms around your body as best as he could.

“No… Just let me go...” you muttered through your tears, trying to escape his grip. You couldn't do this, it was too much for you, too much to bear. You just wanted to run away in that moment, to be away from him.

“Shh, it's okay darling, it's okay. I'm here with you, I'm not going anywhere,” he whispered in your ear as his hand stroked your back in an attempt to cheer you up. But he couldn't do it.

This was all so paradoxical. He was the only person on earth able to understand you, to make you feel better with a single hug and with the mere presence of him and it was paradoxical because, at the same time, he was also the cause of your suffering.

“N-no Jay…” you stammered, pulling away from his embrace “Please let me go. Don't do this to me. Stop doing this to me...”

You stood up and walked away from him, wiping your tears with the backs of your hands. “I can't take it anymore Jay, I can't do this again.”

“Doing what? Y/N please come here. Talk to me,” he begged you.

Is he serious?

You shook your head and wordlessly walked to the door to leave, but when you heard movement behind you you whirled around to see Jay taking off the covers from his body and climbing out of bed.

“What are you doing? No! Get back to bed,” you ordered, your cheeks still wet with tears, running towards him when his feet hit the ground and tried to get up. He grabbed your wrists again, pulling you towards him and placing you between his legs. “Jay…”

“Tell me what's going on and I'll let you go,” his voice was firm and decisive and his tone hinted he’d live up to his words even if it meant trudging all the way out of the hospital.

“Jay for fuck’s sake why can’t you just understand? You really don't see it? You really can’t see I can’t take all of this anymore? You really can't see how much I fucking love you and how much I care about you! I can't do it anymore Jay, I really tried with Erin… I tried to help you, to be supportive… I tried but I can't take it a second time… I can’t…” You blurted out in the heat of the moment but slapped your mouth with your hands as soon as you realized what you had just said. You wished a hole would open in the ground and the earth would swallow you alive.

Jay was looking at you as if he had just seen a ghost and the silence that had invaded the room was almost deafening. You didn't expect an answer, you knew he wouldn't say anything, but God it was so still painful.

“Y/N… I…” he stammered, speechless.

“Jay… Don't worry, seriously,” you interjected trying to keep your composure even if you were feeling a storm inside “I know you don't feel the same and it's fine, I'm sorry for telling you like this…” you croaked, your voice broken by tears “But now it's better if I go... You need to rest.”

The grip around your wrists loosened and you took the opportunity to free yourself away. You took a few steps back, your heart heavy as Jay continued to stare at you petrified.

You were about to leave when, suddenly and against all your expectations, you felt a hand on your arm that made you turn around and a pair of lips pressed against yours.

Your eyes widened in shock as your mind tried to process what was happening. Time seemed to stop and even though his lips were touching yours so lightly it felt like they were just caressing each other, it was as if a storm had hit you full blown.

That kiss was light, sweet, as if he was testing your reaction but when you closed your eyes and returned it, that lightness was immediately replaced by the determination with which his mouth moved against yours.

His hands were on your face as you both let go and for an instant you forgot about everything around you, that you were in a hospital room, that a minute ago you had confessed his love for him. You wanted that kiss for so long. For so long you watched him from a distance and imagined what it would be like to have his lips on yours and now that you were really feeling it, god, it felt like heaven.

No image created in your mind could compare to the flock of butterflies flying in your stomach, to the feeling that kiss made you experience.

It was like thunder hit you, like an explosion of rainbows, like being electrocuted, like being burned alive.

You wanted so badly to find the right words to describe what you felt but you just couldn't.

Jay slid his fingers from your cheeks through your hair, deepening the kiss more and more, forgetting the wound on his lip and all the pains that coursed through his body. Your hands clenched the hospital gown he wore into a fist, being careful not to touch him even though your mind was completely racing.

He was kissing you fervently now, passionately, as if his life depended on it, as if he wanted to suck your soul out of your body. And that was exactly how you felt. If you didn't know him better, you would’ve said he was kissing you as if he too had wanted it for a long time, as if he was trying to vent all the frustration that had accumulated over time.

When you pulled away you were both out of breath like after a marathon. His hands stroked your hair before brushing your cheeks as his thumbs traced imaginary circles on your skin. His nose kept brushing yours and you didn't know how you managed to stand, your legs feeling like jelly.

“You didn't ask me who she is,” he whispered and if he wasn't already hurt you probably would’ve punched him. How could he say such a thing? How could he kiss you and then say that?

“Jay what the fuck...” you tried to walk away but he interrupted you.

“Ask me Y/N. Ask me who’s the person I always have in my mind. Who is the woman I left Erin for.” His eyes kept alternating between yours and your lips trembling and flushed and a little swollen from that impetuous kiss.

“Fuck you! No, I don't want to know! How can you say this!”.

“Shh,” he smiled slightly as his thumb traced the outline of your lips. How could he smile in such a situation and be so heartless? “Please Y/N. Trust me. Ask me.”

“You are such an asshole Jay, I can't believe this…”

“It's you,” he cut you off again and you froze, not believing you heard right.

“W-what?”.

“It’s you. You’re the person who’s constantly on my mind, you are the one who invades my thoughts from the moment I wake up in the morning until I close my eyes at night. I couldn't continue with her, I tried, I tried to ignore it, but you were always there in front of me, always in my head even when you weren't there,” he confessed “When I realized you were the one I want, that it was you who made my heart beat more than anyone else ever did… Fuck, I can’t even talk with you looking at me like this,” he stopped, pressing his fingers on your skin, as if to vent the built up tension.

“I realized it was you when the thought of losing you terrified more than I could even admit, when seeing her didn’t make me turn my stomach or lose my breath like it happen with you,” he paused, taking a small breath, winching at the pain “I didn't know what to do, how to behave with you, I didn't know if you felt the same and I didn't want to risk ruining our friendship and losing you, I preferred a thousand times to have you only as a friend than not to have you at all in life. But, shit, I love you too so much you stupid…” he sighed, his confession heavy in the air and at that point the tears flowed like rivers down your cheeks which he quickly wiped away with his thumbs “It was always you, always and only you and I’m so sorry i realized it so late, I’m so sorry I didn’t realize how you were feeling and made you suffer like that, I will never forgive myself for that. I don't want to see you cry anymore, I don't want to see a single tear come out of these beautiful eyes again, okay? I'm yours Y/N, if you want me I'll be forever and irrevocably yours.”

You didn't know what to say.

You didn't know what to do.

You have never been in such a state of total shock like in that moment.

A thousand questions crossed your mind but you couldn't find an answer to any of them.

“Jay,” you exhaled in frustration, still crying “I don't want to suffer, I don't want to go to sleep crying anymore, I'm so tired of this. I can't… I love you, god, how much I love you. You… You make me lose my mind, my heart goes crazy for you but I also know I don't want to suffer and even if I'm in love I don't want to keep my eyes closed and be naive,” you spoke, your eyes locked in his “You just got out of a relationship and I don't want to think I'm a rebound…”

“But you're not baby, I swear you will never be. You are all I want…” he urged “I left her because I want you Y/N.”

“Jay this doubt won’t make me live peacefully. The moment I’ll be in a relationship with you, I want us to start it without interruption, without risks, without fears, without ghosts of the past,” you retorted “You can’t imagine how many times I wished for this to happen, more than you’ll ever know, but I don’t want it to be like this, not when you got out of a relationship two days ago.”

“Then I'll prove it to you, I promise Y/N. I want you, only you, forever. I understand you're scared and I promise I'll do anything to make this fear go away, I promise I'll do everything in my power to make you happy. I don't want to give up on you, not now that I know you feel the same. God I'd let you get into my head just to show you how much every single one of my thoughts are directed only and solely towards you.” He pulled your hands away from your cheeks just so he could intertwine his fingers with yours, bringing your hands up to your lips and kissing both of them, you eyes piercing your soul with their intensity.

“You’ll be mine, that's a promise.”

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gerec · 5 months

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Gerec’s Favorite Fics - 2023

Here's a list of some of my favorite fics posted this year. A great big thanks to everyone still writing for this fandom; I know I'm very grateful to have all these amazing stories to read and to share!

Repeat Offenses by populuxe

“Prickly bits aside—hell, for the two of them, prickly bits included—it almost felt like a date. Which is stupid on multiple fronts. Grudgingly buying your ex a meal after he grudgingly bails you out of jail is obviously not a date.”

Five times Charles bailed Erik out of jail—and one time he didn’t.

melt your headaches, call it home by joshriku

Two decades later after the last time he saw Charles Xavier, Erik's children lead him right back to him.

Of course, it's never easy to look at the ex love of your life and realize you're not over them, not even in the slightest.

superposition by borninsideatornado (wip)

erik is a race car driver coming off the worst year of his life. charles xavier may be his last hope.

The Plus-One by populuxe

When Erik grudgingly agrees to play Raven's boyfriend at her terrible family's holiday party, he'd thought the biggest challenge would be staying sober enough to make it convincing. But then he meets Raven's extremely hot—and extremely infuriating—stepbrother, and everything starts to get complicated.

my heart knows your name by borninsideatornado

Once they’ve finally got him in bed, Charles works up the courage to ask if he might stay for a few days, because being rejected can’t be worse than seeing Erik in pain. But Erik only says, “I think that would be good.”

or: charles and erik have been broken up for years, occasionally falling into each other. things might change for good when erik lands himself in the ER where charles works. it’s all a bit of a hanukkah miracle.

This Terrible Desire To Be Loved by riais (jeriais)

Erik clings to his past, Charles detaches from his present. Somehow, they meet in the middle. Modern Au, no powers.

the pride and disgrace by ballantine

I am grand, said Charles. Did you know, I can make people think the sun is shining? I am giving them the most beautiful weather they have ever seen. They don't feel the wind or the rain, only the love of their companions. I am fostering the brotherhood of man, one heart at a time.

“Okay,” said Hank.

twenty four hours from tulsa by intentation

After having self-emancipated (aka run away), Erik's been holing up in a shitty motel while he figures out his next step. When Charles Xavier moves into the room just down the hall, Erik discovers his new favorite pastime: sex.

the pain will remind us of each other by borninsideatornado

It’s always felt alien, the way he feels about Erik. Too big for his body, too much to hold in his heart. But finally, finally, it makes sense.

Because at the end of the world, it’s him. It’s always going to be him. —

when logan lets charles see his future in days of future past, he talks to erik instead.

rendezvous by inthebelltower

“Tell me no,” Erik says. “Tell me to leave.”

Heartbeat by druswriting

People say that it’s a bad idea to be friends with your ex. People say that it’s an especially bad idea to be friends with your ex, if your ex is Erik Lehnsherr.

Unfortunately for him, Charles is an optimist. Unfortunately for him, Charles believes he can make friendship work with anyone. Unfortunately for him, Charles believes no one is beyond repair. Fuck, he’s such an idiot.

Well, at least the sex is good.

Dead Box by ByCandlelight

“We should keep moving,” Raven said softly, and so Erik rose to his feet. There was an ache in his knees that didn’t used to be there.

“Charles would love this planet,” he said unthinkingly, and something shuttered across her face.

Travels with Charles, in Search of America by midrashic (wip)

The world ends, but life goes on—until it doesn't.

Seventeen-year-old Erik Lehnsherr has never left the underground shelter that protects a small band of survivors from an Earth wracked with radiation as its magnetic poles reverse. When the settlement encounters a deadly threat, he embarks on a dangerous odyssey with new arrival, walking encyclopedia, and enormous pain-in-the-ass Charles Xavier in the hopes they can find what they need to save the settlement—before the coming winter or unpredictable magnetic storms bring death to not just them, but everyone they love.

Weak by Sotano (comics cherik)

For an hour he keeps himself alive without a heart, pumping his own blood with his powers. It was never going to last. Magneto dies on the Red Planet.

He's the only mutant in history Charles can't bring back.

Containment by feathershollyandgolly

Guilt swirls within as Charles watches the concrete door slide open. As he enters a hollow prison, both modest and intimidating. He is well aware that what he is about to do is a terrible thing.

Detours Along the Way by AndreaDTX (wip)

Erik Lehnsherr has been elected as the President of the United States of America, the youngest in history and the first ever known Mutant. Charles Xavier, his mate, is right by his side. But as Erik's first term begins, the couple braces themselves, knowing that getting elected is the easy part.

twice saying pardon (In Every World There Is You and Me Remix) by winter_hiems

After the events of X-3, Erik is powerless and alone. By chance, he ends up in an alternate universe – in Genosha, where mutants rule and are safe from harm. In Genosha, there is another version of himself. A version that has Charles Xavier by his side.

Another Love by Mataolma

One bad day, a stranger arrives at Charles' house. The soldier says his name is Logan and that he was Erik's best friend when they served in the Mexican War. Logan brings bad news: Erik died in the war, and Charles must decide what to do with his life now that the man he loves is gone.

#gerec rambles #cherik #gerec's fic rec #fic rec #2023 favorites #long post #cherigan

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bi4bihankking · 6 months

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Okay the main reason that you should read Infinity Inc. Do you like cute college students who are fun together? Do you like found family? Do you like your favorite characters being friends forever and nothing bad happening to them at all?

Well TOO BAD! If you read Infinity Inc. your favorite character has a 92% chance of either dying or going evil! You will love these stupid children and you will be so upset that DC refuses to have an actual full Infinity Inc. Reunion and instead decides that every few years former members should attempt to murder each other.

For characters you have: Boy with daddy issues, other boy with daddy issues, gay angry boy with daddy issues, (unfortunately not canon gay yet) boy with EVIL daddy issues, and 7’6” himbo. It’s just... daddy issues all the way down. Also sexist 1940s man who is incredibly annoying. Jennifer-Lynn Hayden, or Jade, who you should all know, and frankly I think if your only exposure to Jen is Kyle Green Lantern you should be OBLIGATED to read Infinity Inc. I have seen some awful stuff flung around about her by Kyle fans. “Jade is only important to comics to tie Kyle to Alan and since she can’t do that properly she might as well stay dead” and that’s just what I’m willing to quote.

Read Jennie-Lynn RIGHT NOW to properly appreciate her or learn to keep her name out of your mouth. I say while shipping her other ex with her dad and her brother.

Lyta Trevor who has been through so much and deserves so much more than being hated because of Sandman, you do not know Lyta and you have not read her struggles, how dare you, I am assigning you the homework of Read Infinity Inc. or shut up.

Okay that is the big sexisms it’s time to get to the big homophobias, or both. Hey remember how the mini series that Beth and Yolanda were killed off in either heavily implied that they were dating or ramped up the sexual tension so much that it seems that they are. I think you should read Infinity Inc. and join me in demanding that Geoff Johns brings back that relationship. Yeah it would be cute.

Read Infinity Inc. now to fall in love with the cutest college age idiots you’ve ever read, ship a ship that is definitely considered problematic now (it’s Hank and Todd I don’t mean problematic problematic I mean, my god people are weird about non-canon gay ships involving canon gay characters, they just have a ridiculous amount of UST and you have to understand Hank was absolutely in love with both twins you have to you have to), be destroyed by the only death in the main series as you learn to care about them all, and also read further in the main characters lives and see the horrible shit they all but especially Hank gets subjected to...

I forgot someone...

MISTER BONES

MOST IMPORTANTLY

Infinity Inc. is the origin of this meme!

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not-neverland06 · 9 months

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Broken Machinery

Pt. 3 (completed series)

Series masterlist

Connor RK800 x fem!reader

A/N: I can’t write parkour without thinking of Michael & Dwight in the office

Content Warnings: Cussing (duh), pigeon crap, Hank’s emotional constipation plus the detective’s, parkour!, weird attraction to ties on men

Word Count: 4.2k

Series Summary: You and your grumpy partner Anderson gain a new addition to the team. He’s supposed to be CyberLife’s best, but there’s something not quite right with his programming, and the problems seem to revolve around you.

“Oh come on, Hank! There’s literally a million nicer places to eat.” You crossed your arms and sank into your seat at the sight of Hank’s favorite ‘restaurant’ Chicken Feed. Slightly wincing at the still present ache in your ribs.

He turned around in his seat and scolded you like a child. “My car, my rules.”

You scoffed, “First, Connor takes my seat and now I don’t even get to eat lunch.” You were being childish, you knew that.

Still, it was beyond aggravating when Hank had stopped you from getting up front and let Connor in the passenger side. And now you were at your least favorite place to eat ever!

What the hell am I being punished for?

“If you weren’t acting like a brat, you could eat lunch. But, fine! Stay in the car! The fuck do I care?” Tears pricked your eyes at the last whispered comment.

It was hard, it was hard watching him become so distant to you. You used to be a lot closer, before everything happened.

Y/N’s eyes were watering and her heart rate was increasing. She was distressed by something, but Connor was unsure of what that was.

He looked out the window and scanned the food truck. “Is Lieutenant Anderson aware of the numerous health violations the owner has committed?”

You scooted your way to the door and whispered, “Why do you think I don’t want to eat here?” The door had slammed closed before he could answer.

RECONCILE WITH THE OFFICERS

Connor got out of the car and stood. After a scan of the environment he was directed in two different directions. You were standing at a table under an umbrella, hunched over and picking at your nails. Lieutenant Anderson was speaking to two known criminals.

“Like a fucking poodle,” Connor ignored Hank’s comment.

“Is everything okay, Y/N?” You seemed surprised that he had chosen to speak with you. “You seem… distressed.” You glanced briefly towards Hank, he appeared to be paying a bookie. “Is it your relationship with the Lieutenant?”

You smiled at Connor, “You know, you’re a bit too observant for your own good.” Connor stood across from you at the table.

“May I ask you a personal question, detective?”

You frowned at him, “I feel like you’re going to no matter what.” Connor nodded his head. He would, he needs you and the Lieutenant to get along better. Right now your interpersonal issues were getting in the way of his mission.

“Why does the Lieutenant make you so angry?”

You went back to picking at your cuticles. Your right thumb had a scab that told Connor this was a common habit for you. It wasn’t entirely harmful but he still felt the need to stop you as you picked at your skin. His hand reached out and gently separated yours.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY^

Your hand stayed in his, and he wasn’t sure if you were aware that you were squeezing it. You opened your mouth to say something, for some reason Connor felt the need to stop you. “Would you like to go get something to eat, detective?”

You quickly closed your mouth and gave Connor a strange look. You smiled at him, “Sure, I’d like that.” Your hand dropped from his and you began leading him down the sidewalk.

Unknowingly the hand you had held flexed by his side.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY^

“Are you in much pain, Y/N?” You waved off Connor’s question. You’d stopped by a 24/7 market and had picked up an ice pack and questionable veggie sandwich. It was either that or egg salad, you’d take your chances with the spinach.

Right now you were sitting outside on a bench holding the ice pack to your sore ribs. “It’s not too bad, I’ve had worse.” I want to lay down and cry somewhere, this hurts so bad.

Connor stopped moving for a moment and then spoke again, “I’m not seeing any cracked ribs or internal damage, they’re just bruised. I recommend you try not to overexert yourself.”

“So he’s a detective and a doctor, really giving Barbie a run for her money.” If androids could be sassy that’s the only way you’d describe Connors face right now. He’s frowning at you and brushing your hands away from the ice pack, holding it up for you so you can eat your food. You really hope he can’t tell how fast your heart is beating with how close he is, or notice the shake in your hands as you take a bite of the sandwich.

“I posses enough first aid skills to take care of my partners if they’re injured in the field.”

That’s actually helpful, Hank’s shit at patching you up. “That makes me happy, the only thing Hank knows how to do is slap a band-aid on a bullet wound and call it a day.” Connor frowns at you again, the little groove appearing between his brows once more. You’re tempted to reach out and soothe it with your thumb.

“That’s highly illogical and dangerous.”

You laughed at him, “It was a joke, Connor. Did those geniuses at CyberLife not program you with humor?”

“It wouldn’t be beneficial to my mission.”

Good lord. He takes everything way too seriously.

“Well maybe you should watch some stand-up or something. I need someone to understand me.” You weren’t being serious. But he seemed to think you were.

“I’ll take your recommendation into account.” You finished the rest of your lunch in relative silence, but there was an overwhelming tension surrounding the two of you. You were most likely projecting, you weren’t even sure androids could feel tension.

However, you felt like he was waiting to ask you something and you were sure whatever it was wasn’t going to be a pleasant topic for you. Connor didn’t seem to have a good grasp of boundaries or when to stop talking.

He waited until you finished your sandwich to take the ice pack off your chest. “You don’t want to ice it for too long, it will cause more harm.” He put the ice pack down and paused. You waited for him to say what he wanted to say, you definitely weren’t going to be the one to initiate whatever probing line of questions he was about to ask. Connor reaches up and fixes his tie before he turns towards you. His jaw is set and there’s a determined look on his face-

Dude! You have major issues. A tie! A tie is what gets you going now?

Lord I pray to you for forgiveness.

“I’ve looked into both yours and the Lieutenant’s personnel records-“

“Wait, what?” He’s undeterred by your interruption, but you’re a little freaked out that he can just dig around in your past.

“It seems that Lieutenant Anderson became your official legal guardian in 2023, when you were ten years old. You had been in the state’s care for two years before he caught your foster father dealing Red Ice and he-“

“Stop! Connor, stop. What the hell?” You’d already gotten your ass handed to you today, you sure as hell didn’t need Connor bringing this all up right now. You didn’t want to remember how Hank found you, or what a piece of shit your foster family had been.

You didn’t want to think about this at all. You could already feel the dread and anxiety swirling around and forming acid in your stomach. What you really didn’t need today was a panic attack.

“You have absolutely no right, no right, investigating me like that. And you especially don’t have the right to acquire sealed adoption papers. I know about my own past Connor, Hank made sure that no one else would be able to find out about it. Fuck, I cannot believe you!” You threw the rest of your sandwich away, knowing you wouldn’t be able to eat it, and got off the bench. You ignored the sound of Connor’s voice and the pain in your ribs as you stormed off.

Hank was waiting under an umbrella for the two of you. “Where’d you go?” Your adrenaline was slowly leaving you, you didn’t have the energy to fully answer him. Slumped on the table you shrugged your shoulders and wrapped an arm around your ribs. “Does it hurt a lot?”

A snarky response was on the tip of your tongue, you had to physically bite your tongue to hold it back. It wasn’t often that Hank would show genuine concern for you. “It’s not great, but I’ve had worse.” There was an awkward pause where the both of you were unsure how to continue. Conversations without any venom or hostility were few and far between lately. It was leaving you both feeling stiff and uncomfortable.

“You’re tough. . .” His hand hovered over your back before coming down a little too hard on it, you wheezed out at the impact. “You’ll be okay.”

You regretted the next words that came out as soon as it happened. “Thanks, dad.” The both of you tensed and you forced yourself to straighten immediately, ignoring the pain. Anxiety caused your chest to tighten and you opened your mouth to apologize. But you found that you couldn’t force the words out, frozen by the desire for him to act like everything was normal.

There was a primal desperation inside of you that yearned for him to just hug you, or tell you that he's sorry and everything will be okay. Anything, anything other than that god awful look he was giving you right now. The one that made you feel like a stranger. It was void of any connection he’d ever had with you.

Your mouth closed and you hunched back into yourself, trying and failing at getting your jacket to swallow you. You were still a little pissed off at Connor for being so invasive, but that feeling was greatly overruled by the gratefulness you felt at his sudden appearance.

You kept your head down, avoiding looking at either of them and distracting yourself by picking at the broken skin around your nails. You’d never been more desperate for a cigarette, even though you’d broken the habit years ago.

Connor almost reached out towards your hands to stop the unhealthy habit, but the look on Hank’s face stopped him. He was staring down at you with an emotion Connor was having trouble recognizing. Perhaps it was sadness, or just another complication of working with humans. You were proving to be much more inefficient than he’d like.

He turned his attention towards the sandwich in Hank’s hand. “Your meal contains 1.4 times the recommended daily intake of calories and twice the cholesterol level. You shouldn’t eat that.”

Hank shrugged, “You sound like Y/N, I keep telling her, ‘everybodys gotta die of something.’” He pointedly took a larger than necessary bite. If Connor had feelings he assumed he would be feeling frustrated right now. Having two partners with such a strange relationship was tedious enough, having one with no care for his health was proving to be a challenge in his mission.

Connor turned his attention back towards the two men by the food truck. Surely the Lieutenant would be interested in their illicit activities, “I don’t mean to alarm you Lieutenant but I think your friends are engaged in . . .” He lowered his voice, “illegal activities.”

“As long as they’re not hurting anybody, I dont bother ‘em.” The lieutenant's administration of the law was perplexing to Connor. Did he actually care about catching criminals? Or had he given up? His blatant disrespect towards his captain and his partner led Connor to believing the latter.

“This morning when we were chasing this deviants. Why didn’t you want me to cross the highway?”

Hank looked at Connor like he was malfunctioning. “‘Cause you could’ve been killed… And I don’t like filling out paperwork for damaged equipment.”

You snorted, the first noise you’d made since this conversation had started, but said nothing else. “Is there anything you’d like to know about me?”

Hank was quick to answer, “Hell no! Well, yeah, why did they make you look so goofy and give you that weird voice?” You lifted your head and glared at Hank, “Jesus, Hank.” Hank looked down at you and shrugged his shoulders, seemingly not understanding why you were angry.

“CyberLife androids are designed to work harmoniously with humans. Both my appearance and voice were specifically designed to facilitate my integration.”

Hank nodded and Connor thought maybe he was finally warming up to him, “Well, they fucked up.”

“I think he’s cute.” Connor looked at you, from your hunched position he could see your eyes go wide and your body heat rising. Your heart had started beating dangerously fast and you looked faint. Hank was giving you a long look before he just shook his head, “I’m sure you do.” You ignored Hank and slouched further into yourself.

You cleared your throat and quickly looked up at Connor, before your eyes went back down to your hands. “Maybe you should tell us what you know about deviants.”

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY^

Connor blinked the message away. “We believe a mutation occurs in the software of some androids, which can lead to them emulating a human emotion.” Hank interrupted him, “In english please.”

Connor’s software quickly worked to give him a dialogue option more geared towards those of lower IQ’s. “They don’t really feel emotions, they just get overwhelmed by irrational instructions, which can lead to unpredictable behavior.”

“Emotions fuck everything up.” Your words were clearly only meant for yourself, but Connor had an auditory processor that was ten times more efficient than human hearing. You looked up at Connor, your eyes narrowed and your posture aggressively defensive. “You ever dealt with deviants before?”

He nodded, recalling the hostage situation, “A few months back… A deviant was threatening to jump off the roof with a little girl… I managed to save her.”

Your head tilted and your shoulders went slack. “And the deviant?”

“Destroyed at the scene.”

You lied to me Connor.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY^

“So, you’ve done your homework right, know everything there is to know about me?” Connor glanced towards you, you had stolen a fry from the Lieutenant and were making a point not to look at him.

“I know the both of you graduated top of your class, you became the youngest lieutenant in Detroit and Y/N followed in your footsteps becoming the youngest detective in the DPD. You, Lieutenant Anderson have received several disciplinary warnings in recent years and you spend a lot of time in bars.”

“Understatement of the year,” you shook your head and stole another fry.

“And you detective, have received several disciplinary warnings and citations for starting fights, especially with Detective Gavin Reed.”

You frowned and whispered, “Oh, look at me, I found a few files.” You raised your voice and glared at Connor, “Whoopdie-freaking-doo, you searched through our personnel files. You shouldn’t even have access to those.”

Hank ignored you, “So what’s your conclusion?”

“I know you’re both experienced officers, and I’d like to earn your trust. I’m sure if we all work together we can solve this case. But that requires the both of you to be civil with each other.” You opened your mouth, presumably to defend yourself but Connor stopped you. “I just got a report of a suspected deviant. It’s a few blocks away. We should go have a look.”

Hank stuffed the rest of his sandwich in his mouth and threw the box in the trash. You trailed behind the two, Connor got into the back seat before either you or Hank could stop him. He needs the two of you to get along, the most likely way for that to happen is to force you both to acknowledge the other.

You glared at him, “I guess I’ve got shotgun.”

“Connor, let’s go.” Connor’s eyes shot open at the gentle tug on his sleeve. Hank was already out of the elevator but you were standing in front of him, waiting for him to go your head tilted towards the entrance of the elevator.

“You run out of batteries or what?” Your hand left his wrist and he followed after you.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY^

“I’m sorry, Lieutenant, I was making a report to CyberLife.”

“That’s cool, you just close your eyes… and what?” Your head was tilted like his was when he had to recalibrate and choose a new approach.

“And I enter what you might call a ‘mind palace’ where I give my report to a CyberLIfe AI representative.”

“Damn, I wish my reports were that easy.”

Hank looked towards you, “What do we know about this guy?”

“Not much, just the information Connor gave us in the car.” Hank looked almost sheepish as he waited by the door of the apartment, you sighed. “You weren’t paying attention, were you?”

“What do you think?” His tone was incredibly bitchy.

“Don’t be a di-”

“A neighbor reported that he heard strange noises coming from this floor. Nobody’s supposed to be living here,” Connor stood from his examination of some feathers on the floor. “The neighbor said he saw a man hiding an LED under his cap.”

“Christ, if we have to investigate every time someone hears a strange noise, we’re gonna need more cops.” You nodded your agreement with Hank as you leaned against the wall. The tension from lunch had somewhat eased, but you still felt uncomfortable in your own skin around the other two. You just wanted to go home and take a warm bath and forget all about this afternoon.

Connor approached the door and knocked. When no one answered he looked to Hank for guidance, he just gave him a smug look and shrugged. He tried again, “Anybody home?” It was cute how he kept looking at Hank. You weren’t sure if he was looking for approval or assistance. “Open up! Detroit police!” And there’s that deep voice again, god it really did something for you. You tried to shift subtly in your spot and just kept picturing your old Barbie dolls. There’s nothing there, there is absolutely nothing there. He’s probably smooth like a Ken doll. Why would a police android need any nice bits? He wouldn’t, so get it together.

A noise in the apartment caught your attention. You stayed on your side of the door while Hank got in front, “Stay behind me.”

“Got it.” Hank looked at you, you pulled out your gun and gave him the go ahead. He busted through the door and you quickly followed behind, searching the area with your gun raised and briefly glancing into each room.

“Clear back here,” you waited for his voice.

“Same here.” You reached another door at the end of the hall and raised a hand to stop him, bouncing on your heels in excitement.

“Can I do it this time, please, please?” Hank gave you a long suffering sigh before he finally moved to the side and nodded. You braced yourself and kicked the door out of the frame-

“The fuck is this?!” You’ve never heard your voice that high before, but it was hard to focus on the embarrassing crack in your voice when you’re getting attacked by fucking pigeons!

By the time you’d managed to wave them all off you, Hank was doubled over laughing his ass off and Connor was brushing a feather off your shoulder. He offered you a hand up from where you’d fallen on your ass in shock.

You really wished he would stop doing that.

It’s the little things that are tricking your heart into believing that something more could come from this partnership. His help off a fence, stopping you from picking at your hands, the small touches to your back or shoulder when he passed you. You were lonely and desperate for any form of connection or love. The fact that you were even projecting that onto an android made shame boil in your stomach and a heavy feeling weigh on your shoulders.

When Hank had recovered from laughing at you he finally took notice of the emptiness of the apartment. “Looks like we’ve come for nothing, our man’s gone.”

“We should still look around, he might be back. At the very least see if he was even an android.” Hank doesn’t look too happy staying in the shit-covered apartment, but he keeps his grumbling to a minimum. You find a strange coded book in a hole in a wall. “Connor, do you understand any of this? Is it like… binary code or something?” You swear to god he actually scoffs at you.

“No, it’s some sort of codex, but it’s indecipherable.” You tell him to keep it, maybe he can figure out what to do with it. You’re getting a bit frustrated, the pigeons keep pecking at your hands and feet and it looks like whoever was living here is long gone. You give up on your search and go stand near an armchair, watching Connor slowly make his way around the apartment.

You let out a long breath and tap your feet impatiently. There’s a build up of anxiety and tension that makes you want to move, do something, anything other than just standing here watching Connor. He informs you there’s thirirum and LED in the bathroom, you couldn’t care less. Your neck feels strained from being hunched in irritation and anger all day. You pull your shoulders down and slowly rolling your neck around, you make the fatal mistake of looking up. Straight into the eyes of the deviant.

“Oh shit-”

Feet first into your already damaged ribs, the air slams out of you in a way that makes you feel like your lungs have collapsed. Your head has gone cold from how hard it reverberated off the ground. Your eyes are buzzing and you can vaguely see two shapes standing over you. One shoves the other, “What are you waiting for, catch it!” A rough hand moves under your shoulders and lifts you up.

“Y/N? Y/N?!” A groan slips out when those hands start shaking you. You blindly slap them away.

“Fuck off, you’re gonna give me a second concussion.” Hank helps you struggle to your feet, your arms gripping onto his forearms. You allow yourself five seconds to recover before you’re shoving off Hank and stumbling down the hall. You slam into the wall a couple of times, you can hear Hank shouting after you but you refuse to let him stop you, evading his reaching hands and shouts of warning. You throw yourself over a fallen cabinet and shove out the door. The light momentarily blinds you and then you see Connor chasing the deviant through a field of wheat and you’re off.

You’re only a couple of yards behind them and shocking yourself with how well you’re doing leaping on and off buildings. You shove your way through the workers blocking the greenhouses and leap over the plants on the table, making your way out of the greenhouse and heading towards the edge of the roof.

Your arms start circling frantically as you attempt to catch your balance. You can do this, you can so totally do this. That one gymnastics class you took when you were twelve was about to come in real handy. “Y/N, NO!” You back up and take a running leap, sliding down the glass ceiling and taking a rolling leap through the broken window.

“HOLY SHIT! WHOO!” You can’t stop yourself from raising your hands in victory and giving a celebratory jump into the air. How in the hell did I just do that? Your celebration is cut short by the sound of a crash.

Keep going

You're running through lavender, behind Connor and parkouring your way up a wall.

You ask yourself why you thought it was necessary to follow after him when you jump on a moving train. Then question changing jobs when you’re leaping off said train onto a fire escape. I better get a fucking raise for this shit.

Halfway through this little adventure you realized it would probably have been smarter to just let Connor go after him and take the long way round, but it was too late and the momentum was too much to stop.

The deviant catches you in a cornfield, body slams you like a linebacker and worsens whatever minor concussion you had into a major one. You can’t see for a couple of seconds as he drags you onto a roof.

“You can’t catch us both!” Connor whips around, there Rupert is standing, an arm's reach away from him. He’s standing on the ledge and in his hand is yours. The tips of your toes are barely grasping onto the ledge and your using both your arms to hold on as tight as possible to the deviant's arm. Your eyes are squeezed shut, your face has lost any color and he can see you trying as hard as possible to keep holding on. The only thing keeping you from being a puddle on the pavement is android strength.

Connor can hear Hank coming up the stairs, there’s only a 40% chance you might survive if he lets you fall.

You force one eye open, it’s all you can manage when you’re looking down at certain death. “Choose wisely.” Both eyes shoot open and you open your mouth to beg, plead, do anything to keep you alive and not be dropped right here and now.

Too late. He’s already pushed you back, you get a sense of deja vu as your arms circle around you wildly, reaching out for something to grab onto. For a moment you feel hope ignite in your chest, Connor is right in front of you and then he’s not.

You can’t see much else besides the blue sky as you fall.

#Broken Machinery #connor rk800 x reader #detroit become human x reader #Connor rk800 x fem!reader #connor rk800 #dbh x reader #detroit become human #detroit: bh #detroit: connor #Detroit become human x fem!reader

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sharpth1ng · 12 days

Note

I need to blow up Mr. Hank Loomis so bad. I'm ripping him to shreds with my mind. I don't like when people say Maureen is the reason Scream happened because it's HANK'S fault. fuck that guy

Yeah honestly the Maureen blaming feels like some unexamined misogyny. They were both cheating. Maureen is the only one that dies because of it.

Also like. Neither Maureen nor Hank is the reason scream happened. It’s either Billy and Stu or Roman depending on how you see it. No one forced them to do that. They chose to react to Hank and Maureen’s infidelity with murder. “My girlfriends mommy is a homewrecker” is not a defence that’s going to hold up in court.

Beyond that Maureen’s only crime is cheating, and in both fanon and canon Billy is also guilty of that (it’s either Stu or Christina). Like if you’re going to hate Maureen for cheating then it feels a bit hypocritical not to hate Billy for the same.

Idk from what we know I think I would have liked Maureen more than Hank as well. Sid seems to have had a positive relationship with her but Billy seems to want nothing to do with Hank.

Maureen was also a scream queen when she was younger like, that’s rad? The titles we get for the movies she was in make them sound like some pretty wild B-movies: Amazombies, Space Psychos and Creatures from the San Andreas Fall. These sound like movies Stu would LOVE.

I also just have some sympathy for Maureen with her past, so much of her backstory is defined by brutal sexual coercion and assault from the time she was 18. Cheating is obviously not good, but also like, she got together with Neil at the age of 21. Prior to that it seems like her experiences were mostly not consensual.

It was the early 70s, I can’t imagine that she felt like she had a lot of choices. The idea that she would have consensual affairs later in life is unfortunate but also not surprising. I think a lot of people who get married young can end up having this realization later in life that they want to experience things they haven’t, and those are the kinds of things you can regret on your deathbed.

As far as we know she’s a stay at home mom, she has no ability to support herself without Neil. From her perspective the options were probably: get a divorce, split up her family, make herself financially destitute, and have a chance to experience the things that were robbed from her when she was younger, OR stay with Neil and die eventually wondering what she missed out on, OR have an affair and hopefully keep her family together.

So yeah. Cheating? Not good, not excusable. But also relatively understandable in my opinion.

And yeah in terms of Hank we don’t know the most about him from canon, but we know how Billy reacts to him, and we know how Billy and Nancy both are: they’re sexist slut-shamers. Like, Nancy blaming Sid for what Billy did? You can hate Sidney but come on, you can’t argue that his actions were actually justified. All of this tells me that Hank’s views are probably in line with Nancy and Billy’s. Billy had to learn it somewhere right? Misogyny isn’t genetic.

So yeah that’s my monologue. Tldr: hate Maureen if you want, that’s fine, but blaming the Scream murders on her doesn’t make much sense. If you need a villain Hank is right there, and either way the real villains are Billy and Stu.

You can still like them even if they suck, I promise, they’re fictional characters. You don’t need to shift the blame for their actions onto other characters to justify liking them.

#maureen prescott #hank loomis #billy and stu #scream movies #tw sa mention #tw sa #ask

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countrymusiclover · 5 months

Text

4 - Second Chances Can Happen

Part 5

Battle of Heart and Mind

Tag list - ask to be added (in my ask box please) @aintinacage @hiraethrhapsody @mostlymarvelgirl @importantgalaxyrunaway

Erik gets out of the car first with Charles getting out on the other side. I slid out behind the boys seeing Raven and the other mutant kids were sitting outside the somewhat destroyed CIA building. “Raven?”

“We've made arrangements for you to be taken home immediately.” Charles explained to the teenagers.

The boy who could control the sound like a banshee spoke. “We're not going home. He's not going back to prison.”

“He killed Darwin.” The guy named Alex added on.

“All the more reason for you to leave. This is over.” Charles responded.

Raven eyed her brother. “Darwin's dead, Charles. And we can't even bury him.”

Standing beside Erik I crossed my arms over my chest. I glanced up to him the second he entered the conversation. “We can avenge him.”

“Erik, a word, please.” Charles walked over to us and I followed the pair off to the side. “They're just kids.”

Erik disagreed. “No. They were kids. Shaw has his army, we need ours.”

“Erik, they can’t fight against my father. They aren’t strong enough to face him.” I shook my head at him not seeing how this plan would work. My father was a very powerful mutant compared to even me and Erik, possibly even Charles.

“Charles said that we can be stronger as a team, Addison. You saw his plan to destroy the world. I may want him dead but we can face him better than the CIA can.” He shifted his attention to mine and I sighed knowing he made a good point.

“We'll have to train. All of us. Yes? Yeah.” Charles sighed once I gave him a head nod yes so he turned to the kids.

Hank the kid with different feet shrugged his shoulders. “Well, we can't stay here. Even if they reopen the department, it's not safe. We've got nowhere to go.”

“Yes, we do.” Charles declared before we all got into the limo and drove until we ended up outside a large castle looking building. Tucking some hair behind my ear I hang my mouth open, never seeing a place this nice.

This is yours?” The banshee kid said.

Charles replied. “No, it's ours.”

“Honestly, Charles. I don't know how you survived, living in such hardship.” Erik joked to his friend.

Raven pushed through the boys and Charles kissed her head when he threw an arm over her shoulder. “Well, it was a hardship softened by me. Come on. Time for the tour.”

Erik and I remained standing outside while the others went inside the mansion. Shoving my hands inside the pockets of my coat I lifted my head up at him. “What exactly are you getting us into here?”

“Charles made a good point. It can’t just be you and I going after him like I previously planned.” He shrugs his shoulders back in response.

Reaching up my fingers began lazily without real thought I started spinning the metal necklace in thought. “That may be the case, Erik. I just don’t think we should face him unless we have an organized team. Otherwise we won’t make it out alive.”

“You don’t have to worry about that happening, Addison. Now that I know what you can do we have a better chance of beating him.” He reassured me offering his right hand and I placed my hand in his letting him lead me inside the building.

It had been a few weeks since we had all got settled into the Xavier mansion. Charles was insistent on training every single one of us. Raven was down in the lab room with Hank. The other boys were somewhere else leaving me on my own. Walking through one of the outside doors and out onto the balcony I got a view of Charles aiming a handgun at Erik’s forehead. “You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.” The man you could say was my friend replied.

“Alright…” Charles shut his eyes taking a breath but he lowered the gun backing out. “No, no, I can’t. I’m sorry. I can’t shoot anybody point blank, let alone my friend.”

Erik grabbed the gun, putting it back against his forehead. “Oh, come on. You know I can deflect it. You’re always telling me I should push myself.”

“If you know you can deflect it then you’re not challenging yourself. Whatever happened to the man who was trying to raise the submarine?” Charles asked him to lower the firearm.

Erik takes the gun from his hand. “I can’t…something that big. I need the situation, the anger…”

“The anger is not enough.” The telepath shook his head.

Resting my chin in the palm of my hand I just kept listening in on their conversation. “It’s gotten the job done all this time.” Erik responds not knowing any difference.

“It’s nearly gotten you killed all this time.” Charles nods, glancing over in my direction, calling me from my trance. “Addi, come down here. You two can train together on this.”

Running down the stairs I met up with the pair at the fence with a big satellite. Dropping my hands at my sides, my hair was in a ponytail that fell over my shoulder. “What do you need me for, Xavier?”

“I want to prove to you both that there is more than pain and darkness for either of you.” Charles extended his hand to me so I lopped my hand through his. He winced a little seeing our hands turn red taking some of his abilities. “Calm your mind, Addi.”

Sucking in a breath we entered Erik’s mind and saw a memory of his mother and him with a birthday cake. Meaning it was his birthday. Shutting my eyes I wiped away some tears. “I….I didn't know I still had that.” Erik croaked his voice blinking through tears.

“There's so much more to you than you know. Not just pain and anger. There's good too, I felt it.” Charles declared to his friend proudly. “And when you can access all that. You'll posse a power no one can match. Not even me.”

Raising a brow at him. “Charles, I don't think that your right. I don't technically have physical power of my own.”

“It doesn’t matter whether you have your own power or not. Addi, it's all up here that matters the most.” The telepath raised his freehand up to the temple of my forehead. “Mind over matter couldn’t be more true for you and Erik.”

Blinking through some tears my eyes found his soft baby blues. “So you don't think I'm broken…or a monster?”

“Heavens no, dear girl. You are far too hard on yourself.” He shook his head placing his hands on my shoulders.

Lowering my gaze to my feet my mind told me differently when I looked at Erik who had stepped off to the side. “I don't mean to be…it's just what I've heard for years.” Charles knitted his brows together slightly glancing over to his friend.

“Addi, I'll find you later for training Alright.” Charles patted my shoulder, sending me on my way.

Nodding, I walked off leaving the boys alone again. “Okay.”

“You're entirely too hard on her, my friend.” Charles muttered watching the blonde girl turn around the corner meaning she wouldn't hear the next part of their conversation.

Erik whipped his head around stunned. “What are you talking about, Charles?”

“I’m speaking the truth to you. She is far too much of a nice person to have you treat her this way.” He explained to his friend.

The metal man rolled his eyes. “We are not having this conversation again!”

“You don’t wish to have this conversation because you know that I am right about how you are feeling. You do feel guilty about your actions and you just won’t admit it, my friend.” Charles points his index finger at Erik speaking very clearly yet calmly to not anger him too much.

Erik sighed heavily, kicking some of the gravel with his shoe. “What do you want me to do, Charles? Hmm forget what her father did to my family. Forget what he did to me all because there may be a tiny part of me that wants to see her differently.”

“I…I’m asking that you give her a chance. A chance of you sitting with her and getting to see that she isn’t like her father.” His friend says back.

Erik raised a brow curious. “If you’re so persistent in giving her a chance, why don’t you just show me the memories you have of her inside your head?”

“Because if I did that it wouldn’t have the same effect.”

“I wouldn’t have guessed Charles Xavier had a flair for the dramatic.” Erik chuckled dryly.

Charles shook his head in disagreement. “It is not dramatic, my friend. And I don’t like using my powers on others when they can make the right decisions on their own. I know you can do just that.”

“I’ll consider giving her a chance, old friend.” He replied spinning on his heels walking away from him, deciding to go in search of Addison.

Walking through the hallways of the mansion thinking back on what Charles had said earlier. He made a good point in saying that we all had light inside of us even if we can’t see it for ourselves. My boots creaked on the floor when a thought ran through my mind ‘What will kill the humans will only make us stronger’

“Why didn’t I see it before I ever met Erik? I mean I should have seen it right unless I’m stupid or something. Ah!” I winced feeling some energy coursing through my veins making me halt in my tracks seeing the lights flickering for some reason. Pressing my back against the wall I take a few deep breaths trying to calm my nerves. “Oh geez what is happening right now. This has never happened before…”

Footsteps could be heard coming around the corner where I slid my body down the wall hugging my knees to my chest hearing someone softly calling my attention. “Addison, is something wrong?”

“Uh no. I’m…I’m fine.” I quickly wiped my sleeve under my nose in an attempt to get rid of the tears that were beginning to fall.

Erik’s cold eyes shifted downward to me as he stepped closer to stand above me. “You don’t seem fine, Addison. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry if I'm being honest about it.”

“Well I’m not crying, Lehnsherr.” I huffed wrapping my arms tighter around my knees.

He lowers himself down on a knee moving his hand forward brushing hair behind my ear. “You don’t have to lie to me, Addison. Now I can clearly see something is bothering you so let me help.”

“Help me how?” I questioned him through a sniffer feeling my hands shaking where my power was just dying to be let out.

Erik raised himself to stand and offered his right hand down to me. “You clearly need a release so that’s what we are going to do.”

“A release…I’ve never even kissed anyone.” My face turned red at the thought of covering my face in my hands. “Oh crap. I shouldn’t have told you that.”

Erik smirked lightly but still held out his hand for me. “I was thinking we would do that. I’m just wanting to help you, Shaw girl. So just take my hand.”

“Okay, what did you have in mind?” Placing my hand in his larger one he tugged me to stand where our chests were so close together.

Our eyes met and he answered in an almost whisper leading me outside the back of the mansion towards the woods treeline. “You’ll just have to wait and see, Addison.” Neither of them knew that Raven was watching from around the corner with a smile on her face seeing the pair leaving together.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

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riahlynn101 · 7 months

Text

"Unravel."

Summary: Mike takes the first step in confessing his feelings. It goes as well as you'd expected. (ft. Abby being adorable, baking cookies, and drawing pictures).

Thank you, guys, for all the support these one shots have been getting. I appreciate all of it <3 You guys are the best!

There are few things Mike loves more than spending quality time with his little sister. It’s harder now that mom’s gone. Money’s tight, and he knows that he isn’t as present as he used to be. A lot of the things they used to do together cost money.

Thankfully, their favorite activity, doodling random pictures while seated next to each other, is free (free, because Abby guilted Aunt Jane into buying her an art set for Christmas).

“Keith pulled my hair today,” his sister says, shading in the sun she’s drawn.

“Did you kick him in the-”

Abby cuts him off. “No. Rachel saw him do it and told the teacher.”

Mike hums. “So, he got in trouble?”

“Ms. Arbor said that he did it, because he likes me.”

“That’s a lie,” Mike says without skipping a beat. “Kyle’s a fu- freaking… uh…not a nice person.”

His sister gives a long-suffering sigh. “His name is Keith.”

Teasing his sister is Mike’s other favorite pastime. “That’s what I said,” he says in an exasperated voice. “ Kyler.”

Abby giggles, shaking her head. “No, Keith.”

“Kevin?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Keith.”

“Kayden?”

“Keith.”

“Abracadabra?”

His sister laughs, wiping at the tears in her eyes. “You’re being silly, Mike. That’s not even a name.”

There are few sounds more precious to Mike than his sister’s laughter. It’s a rare sound nowadays.

He pretends to pout, crossing his arms. “It could be.”

“Nuh, uh,” she says.

“Yeah, huh,” Mike shoots back.

Suddenly, their doorbell rings.

“Who is it?” Abby asks

“I don’t know.”

The person rings the doorbell again.

Mike pats his sister’s head. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

Creeping to the door, he goes through every single person that could possibly be bothering them. Uncle Hank and Maxine have been missing for a couple weeks now. Aunt Jane usually calls before she comes over (usually). Social services maybe?

It wouldn’t surprise him, but Mike would rather not deal with them today. They always upset Abby with their questions, and she’s in a really good mood today.

He peeks out the window, trying his best to be discreet.

Vanessa makes eye contact with him. She waves at him, smiling sunnily.

He opens the front door. “Hey.”

“Hi.”

“What are you doing here?” Mike asks, genuinely curious.

“Well….I had the day off, and I was in the neighborhood…” she trails off,

Wait. Does she want to spend time with him (and Abby)? That can’t be the case, right? Right? Mike tries not to get his hopes up.

“Oh,” he says, blinking, “come inside. Abby and I are coloring right now.” He steps aside, letting her come in.

Abby runs over to Vanessa, a piece of paper in her hands. She bounces up and down. “I drew this for you.”

Mike takes Vanessa’s jacket, watching as she engages Abby in excited conversation. Her face lights up when she looks at the paper.

“For me?” She asks.

“Yeah,” Abby says, timidly.

The paper has three figures. One with short dark hair, a slightly shorter one with shoulder length dark hair, and one that’s taller than both of them with a yellow ponytail. All three of them wear matching smiles. A sun sits in the corner of the paper and other, more animalistic figures stand behind the three figures.

“Is that…”

“Foxy, Bonnie, Freddy, Chica, and Fredbear.”

“Fredbear…?” She quirks a brow.

Mike’s heart seizes in his chest. The name feels hauntingly familiar. Vanessa looks at him, and he somehow manages to keep a neutral face. He shrugs.

“Yeah, he’s my friend.” Abby places the paper off to the side. She takes Vanessa by the hand. “Do you want to make cookies?”

“Abby,” Mike starts, not wanting to his sister to scare off Vanessa, “she-”

“I would love to.”

Abby squeals, pulling her to the kitchen. Vanessa looks back at him, winking.

It takes Mike’s brain a solid minute to process what just happened. “Did she just….”

He chases after them.

-x-x-x-

“It says we need to pour ¾ cup of water into the bowl,” Abby reads from the book. Flour sticks to her face, hair, and hands.

Vanessa nods, filling up the measuring cup with water. She hands it to Abby who dumps it into the bowl.

“Cool, now we need three eggs.”

Mike carefully cracks the eggs, making sure none of the shells fall into the batter. As much as he trusts his sister, he’s also sure none of them want eggshell-flavored cookies. He passes the bowl back to her, and goes to the sink to wash his hands off.

Vanessa takes his place, making sure Abby reads the recipe correctly (and also making sure she doesn’t fall off the chair.) A grin breaks across his face, watching the exchange. A sudden thought pops into his head.

“I have to grab something, stay here,” Mike says.

“Was planning on it,” Abby sasses. Vanessa hides her laughter behind her hand.

“Yeah, yeah.”

He returns five minutes later, camera in hand. His mom used to take pictures of everything. They have entire boxes full of Garrett, his, and Abby’s baby pictures. Mike never saw the appeal of taking photos, it annoyed him to no end having to stand still. But now that’s she gone….

Mike lifts the camera. “Smile,” he says.

Vanessa and Abby turn to look at him, smiling for the camera. He snaps a quick picture.

“Your turn,” Vanessa tells him, reaching out for the camera.

“My turn?’

Abby nods. “You need to be in the picture too. It’s not the same without you.”

“Okay, okay.” He laughs, situating himself between his two favorite people Vanessa and Abby.

Vanessa snaps a photo of all three of them crammed together. Messy with flour and batter staining their hair, faces, and clothes. Abby has an arm slung over both of their shoulders, and a wide grin across her face, and Mike and Vanessa both look like they’re trying not to laugh.

Mike already knows he’s going to frame it.

-x-x-x-

Later after they’re done with baking, and Abby’s been sent off to bed, Vanessa starts wiping down the counters.

“That was fun,” she says.

“Mhm,” Mike agrees, scrubbing a pan. “Though, I could do without the cleanup part.”

Vanessa snickers. “And miss all the fun?”

“Yeah, so much fun.”

They fall into a comfortable silence, cleaning the kitchen.

“Thank you,” Mike says, breaking the quiet.

“For?” Vanessa throws the dirty rag she’d been using in a corner.

“For….I dunno.” Mike shrugs. His eyes remain fixated on the sink in front of him.

“You….don’t know…?”

“I mean…I like having you around. You’re nice.”

“I’m nice?”

“Yes.” He shakes his head. “No. I mean, yes. God why is this so difficult?”

A hand rests on his shoulder. Warm and comforting. “Mike….? Is everything okay?”

Mike turns to face her, wiping the soapy water clinging to his hands on his pants. “I wanted to say, thank you for hanging out with Abby and me. It’s been a long time since anyone’s gone out of their way to do that. And you keep doing it. The tea party last week, the diner you took us to the week before that. It….means a lot to us. To me.”

Vanessa shifts in her spot, arms crossed. An unreadable expression crosses her face, but her eyes look like they’re misting up. “Uh…I like hanging out with you guys too.” Her voice sounds strained, like she’s struggling not to cry.

Mike’s eyes widened. “Oh, shit! I didn’t mean to make you cry. Are you okay? I can-”

“No, you’re okay. I just…need to go home.” She starts for the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow night at Freddy’s. Thanks for the cookies, and tell Abby that I said, ‘bye.’”

“Are you sure you’re okay? I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Yeah…I’m okay. Just a little tired. See you later, Mike.”

Before he can get another word in, she’s gone.

Resting his head in his hands, Mike groans. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” he mutters under his breath.

-x-x-x-

“I want out,” Vanessa hisses into the phone.

“How come?”

“My priorities have changed.”

“Meaning?”

She grips the phone tighter, imagining it’s her boss’ neck instead. “ Meaning, that I don’t want to work for you anymore.”

“You like him.”

She scoffs. “No, I just-”

“You know what you’re giving up if you go against me, don’t you?”

“I’m not going against you. I haven’t told him anything. I just can’t go against him either. I’m….” Vanessa trails off, trying to choose her words carefully. “ Fond of him. Besides, he’s kind of cute.”

“Cute, eh?” Her boss says, annoyance clear in his tone. “Cute enough to abandon your brother?”

She deflates a little. “I’m…I’m not-”

“Are you fond of him enough to leave your brother all alone?”

“Stop it,” Vanessa grits out, tightening her grip. “He has nothing to do with that.”

“Well, if you’re ready to give that all up….then, I’m sure Cassidy would understand.”

Tears slide down her face. Her breath comes out shuddery, as she fights the urge to cry. “Stop. I- I don’t want to leave my brother. Don’t make me give that up.”

“Oh, my dear, I’m not making you do anything. You’re doing it all by yourself.”

“I’m sorry. I change my mind.”

“Good,” her boss says, pleased. “Then, I expect you’ll have no problems this upcoming week.”

“Of course not.”

The phone line goes dead. Her grip on the phone is slack, and it falls from her hand. Sobs wrack her body, as Vanessa curls up on her couch.

She never wanted this.

#cross posted on ao3 #Vanessa x Mike #schmelly #mild angst #fluff #denial of feelings #dorks in love #abby schmidt

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igotanidea · 1 year

Text

Still waters run deep: Dick Grayson x f!readear

Summary: Here are some things I heard about myself: Kind of a girl that looks young, innocent and harmless. Kind of a girl you know is the weakest link in direct combat. Kind of a girl you tend to ignore beacuse she is no threat. The girl you feel the need to protect. (ironically, completely different than the previous one). A sensitive one. A shy one. Well, tonight I'm going out in sole purpose to have some fucking fun, cause life has been a mess lately. So, let's see if I'm going to act like shy and sensitive one after a couple of drinks. Oh, Dick's not going to like it.......

Warnings: cursing, a bit of smut (minors DNI!), mentions of illegal activities,

First person POV

This has been a hell of a week.

Between fighting with titans and keeping my secret identity a secret I also had to deal with day-to-day regular job and it made it twice as much energy consuming than for everyone else.

Of course, my thoughtful (and a bit too possessive) boyfriend tried to convince me to give one it up and commit to the Titans fully, but much to his disappointment (to say the least) I refused , trying to balance it all.

So, can you blame for being stressed and drained?

Given all that I had two options – lay down, getting all my emotions suppress me or quite literally shake it off. A little party was just what I needed. But going out alone was not something I enjoyed, so the plan was to somehow convince Donna and Dawn to have a girl’s night out.

“I’m out” Donna muttered, not even raising eyes from the book she was reading

“Oh, come on” I whined “all work and no play…..”

“Don’t.” she cut me off, warning in her voice and instinctively I looked down moved by her harsh tone “Sorry Y/N. You know I don’t mean in in a bad way, but seriously. I really need some time alone, all right? I’ll join you next time.”

“Fine. I won’t push you. Hopefully Dawn will be up for the party.”

“Sorry, Y/N, I’m staying too. Hank has been going through something and I need to get him to talk before it gets out of hand.” Dawn chimed in

“Right. Can’t risk the big guy losing control.” I muttered getting her point but still disappointed

“No hard feelings though, right?” the blonde asked putting a hand on my shoulder, reassuringly

“No, no, of course not. I guess I will just go alone than.”

“Is your boyfriend not up to some dance with you?” Donna smirked knowing well enough how Dick felt about any and every party. Bruce had him discouraged during the years when he was forced to attend Wayne’s yearly galas. Therefore, I was not even going to ask him.

“Such a surprise, right?” I rolled my eyes ironically

“You know, maybe you should give him a chance.” Dawn suggested “I’m pretty sure he will go anywhere with you.”

“The point is, I want to party, not watch him eye everyone in search of a potential threat, so…. yeah, I’m going alone.”

“Stay safe than” Donna muttered, back into lecture

“She knows how to handle herself. Have fun Y/N.

It took my quite a while to get all dolled up, wearing the dress that surely drew attention and was far more revealing than the hero suit I was used to, and putting a bit more makeup than on a daily basis. Truly, even with all my self-doubts and modesty, I had to admit I looked hot as hell. This is going to be a good night. I though as I sneaked out the tower.

***

Dawn was only partially right. I knew how to handle myself, but still all I heard from people was that H/N was the weakest link in combat. That Y/N was that kind of girl that pose no threat and the one you don’t really give attention to. It always made me …. sad and a bit angry for being seen like this. There was so much more to me they never seen. But tonight, tonight I was going to let it all go and just let loose. Knowing well enough, Dick would never approve of my plan for the night. Well, I was not his possession, was I?

***

Third person POV

Dick was working out, not surprising to anyone. He needed a good training after the whole week of stress, anxiety and fast action not that it was going to change anytime soon. He was truly hoping this will clear his mind, but clearly it did not. So the other option was to find his girlfriend and let her soothing presence and her soft touches calm him down. He truly had no idea how she ended up with him. He was rage, she was clear thinking, he was impulsive and a bit reckless, she was always the one with the plan and clear vision. He missed her. For the last days they didn’t really spend much time together and when they did it was usually just sleeping together, tangled with other, trying to get as close as possible without disrupting the rest they both so desperately needed. Passing by was not good for the relationship and she pointed it out once, when instead of spending time with her he was up late, but he never listened. Until now. With the best intention to make up for his negligence he started searching the tower for her, but the girl was nowhere to be found.

“Has anyone seen Y/N? I can’t find her anywhere.”

“Seems to me like she finally broke.” Hank muttered with mouth full of some crazy dish he made “got to admit, she was pretty resistant in ditching you.”

“I’m serious. Did she left the tower?”

“Do you think you can keep her a prisoner here? She’s a free spirit, a fierce woman with ……”

Since Hank was not helping, Dick decided to ask Donna and Dawn if they knew anything. At first, they kept their mouth shout, not revealing the plan their friend made, but seeing his sad puppy eyes and real worry on the boy’s face they gave in.

“She went to a party” he repeated a bit confused. Why? Why would she go without him? Why wouldn’t she tell him a thing? Was she going for a one night stand? “Where?”

“She wasn’t specific about that, but knowing Y/N she joined the first club on the way.”

“I need to find her.”

“No, you don’t. She deserves fun.” Dawn objected

“It’s not like I’m going to destroy it” he stated, crossing arms on his chest “what?” his face dropped a bit upon seeing girls’ mocking expressions

“Not at all, Dick. You’re just a party animal.”

“I….” he tried to say something, but at the same time his phone rang and he was fast to pick it up seeing it was Y/N calling. “Y/N? Baby, where are you? are you all right? Did something happen? I will pick you up just tell me….”

“Dickie….” She slurred “I’m having so much fun! All those boys are just so friendly, you know. Wish you were here, boyfriend. TIME OF MY LIFE!” and then she just hanged up on him.

“Was she drunk? She never gets drunk.” Dawn was now a bit concerned about her friend safety

“Are you sure that she knows how to handle herself now?” Donna was obviously sarcastic on the outside but quite as much worried inside “she has no real fighting skills and if some creeps are all over her…..”

“Stop it!” Dick felt his blood boil at the mere thought of any other dude touching or even getting close to his girlfriend. If anyone were to cross the line and to hurt her, he would have no mercy and no hesitation in permanently hurting all of the perpetrators “We’re getting her home. I’ll track her phone. “ he rushed to the elevator grabbing his jacket on the way, ready to fulfill his knight in shining armor duties.

“Do you think we should go after him?” Dawn looked at Donna. Dick was really in the state of mind in which he was capable of everything.

“I’m not his babysitter” Donna scoffed “And neither are you.”

“But maybe we should make an exception and just this once follow him?” Dawn insisted

“What about Hank?” Wondergirl asked

“What about me?” said boy came through the door, a bowl full of food still in his hands.

“He can join.” Dawn shrugged, not really giving the boy any liberty to decide for himself

“What exactly are you girls getting me into?”

“A party, apparently. Main stars being very drunk Y/N and very angry Dick.”

“Well if that’s the show I’m all in.” Hank was already halfway to the door. “Are you coming or what?”

***

First person POV

I made a really, really good decision to come here. After a couple of drinks all of my inhibitions dissolved and I wasn’t the quiet member of the team anymore. Oh no! Now I was the star of my own show! Dancing like there was no tomorrow, moving my body, showing my best moves. Old, quiet Y/N was long gone, the sex queen raised. Apparently I was not solitary in that opinion as a couple of guys, I was eyeing for some time now, came closer to me, following my dance moves. One of them grabbed my hips from behind as the other put his on my waist. Shit, they were both so hot and I giggled seductively trying to imagine how surprised Dick would be right now if he saw me. Not a good girl anymore! Not the one he could omit and neglect and left high and dry, unfinished . This was not a revenge or a payback, this was my way of getting what I needed, what I wanted, what I deserved. If my boyfriend wasn’t up to the job I needed some other forms of entertainment.

The song changed into something far more sexual and the guy moving behind me started to pull me closer as his friend leaned in, his faces inches from mine. I did not stop him as his lips crashed on mine, his hands started roaming my body, caressing my skin pulling me off the dance floor. I let him fully take control of me. After all, like I said I was eyeing him all night, giving signals to come closer and have his fun.

“come with me, baby. Let’s go somewhere private and quiet, shall we. I’ll make you feel good, you look like you need it”.

“Less talking, more action” I whispered in his ear “I want to get you all alone, loverboy.”

The last sentence finally made him grab my hand tighter and get me out, downstairs. Apparently the club was situated above some old bunker, not that I cared when I picked it as my nightly destination.

Third person POV

***

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?

Getting the signal from her phone took Dick just a few seconds and getting to the place where it came from, mere minutes. He was quite relieved to realize she wasn’t far but the view before his eyes made him regret getting here so fast. His love, his sunshine, his girlfriend was practically making out with some dude, that wasn’t him. In the middle of the club! What happened to the girl reluctant to any form of PDA!?

FUCK!

This fucking guy was touching her in the way no one else but him was supposed to! Getting his dirty hands on her perfect hips, trying to sneak them under her dress to feel her soft, smooth skin. For a while his mind was blurred with the memory of her naked body underneath him, whining and squirming in pleasure only he was capable of giving her. The flashback of her begging him for more, more…. Of her hands all over him, pulling him in, her soft moans as he was getting her high, her quiet words assuring him that she loved him so, so much and that he was doing so, so good…..

I need more, Dick…… please…. I need you so bad…..

I love you baby, I love you so much. Tell me you’re mine.

I’m yours, Dickie. Only yours…..

And I’m yours, baby. Let me show you…..

FUCK! FUCK! He was going to kill him for even looking in her direction! His poor baby girl. Seduced, probably drugged and used! The sudden movement, coming from the direction where she was, made him come back to reality and as he saw that lapdog drug her out into more secluded part of the building, the Robin with his ruthlessness took over his mind and action. Oh, this was going to be a bloodbath.

Just a couple minutes later, the rest of the Titans team entered the club. At first glance everything was fine, but Dawn was quick to pick up on Dick’s figure disappearing behind the back. It took her a second to figure out his posture was now different, more stiff, more grim, all his muscles tensed and fist clenched. The only things he was missing were mask and cape, but besides that, he wasn’t Dick Grayson anymore.

“Fuck!” Donna hissed realizing the same thing.

“What? What is going on?” Hank wasn’t even half as fast in recognition as girls, confused and lost in the situation.

“Just shut up and hurry or someone will end up hurt!”

***

First person Pov

“Where are you taking me? “ I giggled almost tripping over my legs, letting the stranger guide me

“Patience, baby, we’re almost there.

“I need you now” I whined, not being patient.

“I now, sweetie, I know. But trust me, once we’re in the safe place you won’t get rid of me….” He trailed, something dark in his voice

“I surely hope so…..” I started but didn’t get a chance to finish the sentence as something dark and stinking covered my head, my face included cutting off the oxygen supply and making me black out.

Oh, fuck….

***

I have no idea how long I was unconscious but I woke up to the sound of a few male voices, three or four most probably, but the extreme headache I was now experiencing did nothing to my evaluative skills. Oh, and I was also tied up, not able to move, my hands above my head, facing all the capturers.

“how many pills did you give her?” one of the man said

“One as planned.” The other replied

“Well, if it was one she would be up by now, you idiot! I’m serious, how many!?”

“One or two additional may have slipped in.”

“You dumbass! We need her aware of what’s happening! It makes everything far more funny.”

“I agree with him. The screams and attempted fight just spice the whole act” Ok, that was the third

“All of you shut up now!” the last one. So my calculations were right. There were four of them. Despite the situation, I congratulated myself in the back of my head. I groaned a bit and it got their attention “Oh, the princess is finally waking up. Welcome back to the land of the living, sweetie.”

“Where….. where am I?” I muttered narrowing my eyes. Gods, why all of the kidnappers always had to use the brightest light available.

“Well, it really depends from the point of view. From mine, you are on the verge of heaven, from yours probably first step of hell.”

“Are you the boss?” I looked him straight into the eyes

“ Are you always so eloquent?” he crouched next to me and grabbed my face painfully “and here I was thinking you were only a pretty face and a nice ass” he slap my back and I flinched. What did I got myself into?

“What are you going to do to me?” I sobbed, tears falling down my cheeks now.

“Oh, there it is. You are finally realizing what is going to happen to you, don’t you? Such a pathetic little bitch. Probably forgotten by a busy boyfriend, am I right? Desperate for entertainment and attention. Those are the easiest catch.”

I shook my head abruptly, the mascara smudged all over my face, vision blurry.

“Don’t cry princess. Where we are sending you, you’re going to have plenty of boys ready to thoroughly devour your attributes” the man laughed viciously. “Am I right boys?”

“So what is it? Some sort of trafficking ring? You sell girls to the brothels?” I gasped in terror, my eyes growing wide and mouth falling open in awe.

“You little pinhead” he cooed “you’re lucky you’re pretty, because sensibleness is not your strongest suit. Yes, we will send you to one of our massage parlors. The clients will love you. And hey, another good thing. You will get to meet with some other bitchy hoses like you. After all, you were asking for it, weren’t you, you little slutty whoredog?” he leaned across, his face inches from mine.

“Ok, I think that’s enough.” I stated, becoming calm and sober in a blink of an eye. Before any of the guys wrapped their heads around the situations I did a flip, kicking their boss straight into the jaw, probably causing the ostectopy and sending him flying back. One out, three to go. The second one came right at me but I used my strength to hoist up and wrap my legs around his neck.

“Here’s a taste of your own medicine” I spat, now causing him to black out due to the lack of oxygen. “Not so nice is it?”

Two to go.

The third man came from behind me with some stick in his hands, his gaze fixed solely on my face. Oh, poor one, he thought he got himself some crazy weapon. Fool. It was way too easy to just trip him up, causing the guy to make friends with the floor.

“You bitch!” right, there was the last one. Probably the smartest (irony of course) observing my moves and trying to get the best strategy to get me.

“Please, tell me you are at least a bit better in fighting than those scumbags” I sighed in desperation. Honestly, my hands was becoming a bit sore and I wanted to get over this situation.

“You bitch!” he yelled again. Definitely wasn’t the one with wide stock of words, but what can you expect in his profession. Taking cue from his friend, he tried to gather himself some gear, settling on a rusty chain laying nearby, spinning it over, almost hitting me. I just moved a bit to the right and then to the left and then a bit more to the wall, the man following me closely still playing with the chain. In the final moment I ducked and the weapon bounded off the wall hitting him right in the face, knocking him out. So, all four hurt, unconscious and defeated. The only problem for now was getting out of the rope that hamstringed my wrists.

“Do you need help with that?” a familiar voice and a familiar face egressed from the shadows.

“Nah, not really. I can handle myself” I smirked casually. In some other circumstances I would probably add a shrug but it was a bit impossible now.

“Mhm, I see” Dick came closer, stopping just a foot away from me. All of a sudden the closeness made me away of my vulnerable position. Ironically, I was not scared standing with my hands up in front of four dangerous men, but became paralyzed in front of my boyfriend. And shit if he didn’t; know that.

“Did you follow me? How much did you see? Wait, how long were you creeping there?” I tried to take control of the situation.

“Long enough to see you to do some improper things with someone that wasn’t me.”

“I bet he learned his lesson by now” I pointed my head towards said man lying on the floor, stepping from one foot to another. The position was getting more and more uncomfortable with every second.

“Oh, not even close. It’s me who will give him a lesson. When I’m done there will be nothing to pick.”

“Dick….” I whined, now really in pain.

“You got some moves baby” oh, this jerk really enjoyed having me on his mercy “why did you never show it in the tower?”

“You know, I’m really living by the still waters run deep rule. I…..” I groaned a bit and his eyes darkened at the sound “I like the element of surprise.”

“Do you? Well, this really was a surprise to me. In more than one way.” His face was now inches away from mine and I felt my cheeks (and not only them) growing hot.

“Dickie…..” I whined again

“By the way, are those the guys who were engaged in human trafficking? The one who sell girls to brothels? The ones we were trying to track for the last month?”

“Yes…. I…..”

“So this was your plan all along?! Did you know how much danger you were in!?” his voice grew a bit more angry now. He was probably imagining all the things that could have happened to me. It served him right! “What if they were stronger than you? What if you weren’t able to defeat yourself? What if…..?”

“Grayson!” I yelled in frustration cutting him off.

“What is it babygirl?” he faked innocence.

“Can you… can you get me out of this ropes? Please? It hurts now. ”

“Don’t know. I saw you doing some things I didn’t like tonight. I think you deserve a bit of punishment for that” he smirked.

“Dickie….. please, please…” I moaned in that special way and it turned him on at once as he crashed his lips on mine, one of his hands lifting me up motioning to wrap my legs around his waist, the other untying the rope finally setting my arms free. As soon as he did both of his hands circled around my waist pulling me closer to his chest, squeezing me against his body while his lips and the kiss became faster, hungrier, more passionate and predatory. Not that I complained as my own fingers ghosted over his arms and chest, going down to the hem of his shirt, slowly peeling it of him. He groaned and pushed me to the wall to enable himself to pull that useless piece of material over his head. God, he was so well built it took my breath every time I saw him shirtless. He was so warm and strong I instantly felt safe, craving his touch, his attention and affection tossing my own shirt away.

“What happened to you?” he muttered against my skin, his lips moved to my neck and shoulder covering it with kisses and hickeys.

“What…. What do you mean?” I gasped as he found one particularly sensitive spot.

“We are practically in a public place. Everyone can nail us going so physical” his lips ghosted over my half-exposed breast “you were always so private, babe…..”

“I missed you” I confessed “and I honestly don’t care anymore. I need you. I want you. I don’t care who can see us…. Make love to me…..” I whispered and felt his pulse raise.

“I missed you too…..” his hands reached towards the clasp of my bra, letting my breast free “I’m gonna make you feel so good babe….”

***

“I don’t want to see anymore of this. I’m gonna be sick” dark haired girl standing in the corner turned on her heel and rushed out.

“Well, I am quite enjoying the show” the muscular boy let out a laugh but being hit through the head by his blonde girlfriend crouched and they both left the room as well. The only people present were two very longing for each other young adults, too busy with themselves to care about the rest of the world.

@somest1 @pinksirensong - I'm sorry to drag you through this ..... 🙈

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