#and he would have to exercise and lose weight for his heart to even have a chance of being more stable)

[crvstybowlofcereal]

Tell me about your tattoos if you have them and or what tattoos you want

i have two tattoos, and i plan to get more!

i got the first one two days after my 18th birthday, i had been planning it forever. it's a memorial piece for my first dog Rocky. I got it on the outside of my thigh, very high up so most of it is covered when i wear shorts.

i covered up the bit with his face because i dont like to share it very much, im terrified of the idea of someone finding a picture of it and getting the exact same tattoo because that's my dog and he meant the world to me. i know its a bit of an irrational fear, and i dont worry about it with my other designs, but i try not to share it online fully, but heres a different picture of him!

the flowers underneath are red roses, lilies, and forget me nots, for their specific meanings

the next tattoo i got just a couple months ago for a 7 year friend-iversary

its based on several layers of inside jokes

my long-term tattoo goal is to fill out my leg like a sleeve made of individual tattoos. i also intend to design all of my own tattoos.

some other ones i have in mind for my next ones are - a ghost (i always draw sheet ghosts the same way) - the mystery machine from scooby doo - the irken invader symbol from invader zim - a swarm of bats (probably on my inner thigh) - moon phases - lavender (and amethyst?)

more context for things in the tags

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for breaking up with my boyfriend because he likes my body?

TW for ED but please hear me out:

My bf (30m) and I (28f) have been together for a little over 5 years. When we got together I had an extremely stressful and physically demanding job. Shortly after our relationship started I relapsed with an eating disorder that had been a problem since prepubescence; I started restricting heavily at age 11 and had struggled with it on/off since then.

After quitting that terrible job and regaining some agency in my life, I spent a couple of years really focused on recovery. Without giving specific numbers (cause triggering) I'll say that I was extremely underweight to an unhealthy level for at least a year and experienced severe health complications because of it. I nearly died from heart problems and had a big wakeup call that caused me to change my whole life. I've done the work of recovery without medical help (history of omission with doctors) but have had support from my bf, and am currently at the highest weight of my life.

at a recent checkup my Dr talked a lot about "healthy lifestyle" and mentioned my weight gain over the past couple of years. I'm still within the "normal" range for my height and build, but the after visit summary/chart notes denoted risk of becoming overweight. Idk if my Dr would have brought it up if my history of ED was in my chart, (and I did switch primary care practices a few years ago, so they weren't treating me at my thinnest) but it still shook me a bit and I will admit to feeling very triggered.

The job I moved to is quite sedentary compared to the previous terrible one - I wfh, and very rarely have to be on my feet or do strenuous activity. In addition, I have chronic pain issues that make exercise difficult, and so historically have just restricted to maintain/lose weight because it's easier for me physically to just be hungry than to work out. I didn't want to go down that road again though because of how intense and scary it got last time.

My bf is a personal trainer and specializes in working with low ability clients and people recovering from long illness/injury. When I told him that I wanted to start exercising more often and get a good cardio routine going, he was really excited and started immediately putting together an "action plan" (what he calls it w his clients idk) for me. Then he mentioned how I'd need to add on a bunch of meal supplements and snacks to avoid losing weight and I got upset.

We're a plant-based (vegan) household and live with a roommate (bf's friend) so mostly eat/cook communal dinners and have various breakfast & lunch plans on hand, so we already eat pretty healthy and make sure to have a good balance of macro/micro in the meal plan. My intent was to eat the same but increase my activity level to get out of the danger zone without restricting. I don't generally snack and rarely eat dessert, just the 3 squares.

I told my bf that I needed to lose weight and be more active according to my doctor, and that I wasn't comfortable with having protein supplements, smoothies, and snacks in addition to regular meals because that would defeat the purpose. He got really sad and said that he likes the way my body is now, and while he supports being more active, he doesn't want the size of me to change. His exact words at some point were "you look so good now, I love the amount of you that there is and I like the way you jiggle." It kind of made me feel sick and wonder if he has like a secret size fetish or something?

So I've been thinking of breaking things off with him and moving in with a friend or back in with my parents, but idk if this is actually a red flag or just the disorder talking? He did help me a lot with recovery but if he's going to keep me from being healthy or wants me to gain even more weight then maybe it's better to leave - would this be an asshole move? I honestly don't know.

[damiansgoodgirll]

please do damian cheating on reader!😩❤️

y’all want to cry i see 🤓🤓

damian priest x reader

likes, comments and reblogs are welcomed!

‼️ mention of sex, pregnancy, anxiety, infidelity and cheating, angst, body shaming, body issues, reader being self conscious

don’t hurt yourself

“i’m trying to save our family y/n!” damian screamed desperate, staring at the marriage counselor in front of him. she was watching with a deep look the scene in front of her. it wasn’t anything new to her but the way you both were behaving was making it hard for her to help.

“sure…you should have thought about that before fucking someone else damian…” you said, tears already dry.

one month ago

damian just came back from his wrestlemania trip. you would have loved to go but six months ago, you gave birth to your first baby and it was all new for you. you were still trying to get adjusted by how your body looked, how tired you constantly were and how scary the world suddenly became since you had your baby.

damian wanted you to go but he knew you didn’t trust anyone to babysit your daughter for so many days, so he didn’t force you.

the pregnancy changed your relationship a little bit, and, even if damian didn’t want to show it, it was affecting him a little.

it was your first pregnancy so he understood but still, he couldn’t get away from the feeling that something changed.

you became more paranoid, always scolding him for silly things, your mood was on a rollercoaster and the lack of sex between the two of you kept him on edge. your doctor told you that it was completely fine having sex during pregnancy but your anxiety made it impossible for you to have sexual contact with him. you tried and tried but you always had to stop him because it was hurting you.

damian always respected that but he couldn’t lie if he said that it wasn’t effecting him too. the whole nine months of your pregnancy, he felt like he was pregnant too.

he thought it would get better once your daughter was born but he was wrong.

you became more self conscious about your body, the way you looked and the struggle to keep a nice appearance up was hurting you. he didn’t know how to keep up with all of that.

he let himself go the night after he won at wrestlemania. he was partying and he was drunk and he didn’t want that, but, somehow he found himself naked, sleeping next to a complete stranger.

when he woke up his head was hurting but his heart almost stopped when he saw her, the stranger, sleeping naked next to him.

“no no no…” he whispered. he felt his heart breaking.

“good morning…” she whispered waking up. damian watched horrified the way she kissed his chest, only stopping at his lips when she saw the paralysed face he had “did you have fun last night?” she asked “or are you already regretting it?”

“what…how? i-i don’t remember…”

“you’re hurting me saying that you don’t remember our night together” she said, faking being hurt “you don’t remember what happened?”

“no…this, this shouldn’t have happened”

“but it happened damian…and it was too good” she said, smile on her face, remembering how good everything felt “you came up to me at the bar last night, you said how good i looked, how much you wanted to fuck me…then you went talking about how unhappy your marriage was becoming, how unhappy your little wife is, how ugly she think she is, witch, frankly, she’s quite right…you should give her some exercises to do to lose that baby weight she still carries by the way…” the stranger started blurting out “then you got quite boring so i had to shut you up with a kiss. that kiss definitely became something more, judging by the way we are both naked under the covers…” she smirked but all damian wanted to do was to vomit and hide away.

he couldn’t believe he just cheated on you.

he couldn’t believe he rambled to a complete stranger about your marriage, about you. your wedding wasn’t unhappy, sure things changed after your daughter was born and you both needed to work better on this whole family thing but he wasn’t unhappy with you.

he loved you and your daughter isabel more than anything.

“i need to go…” he said not remembering her name.

“sheila, my name’s sheila…” she smiled at him.

he quickly dressed up, took his bags and went straight at the airport, all he wanted to do was to stay with you and isabel, and hold you all night long.

rhea knew something was up the moment she saw damian’s face at the airport.

“man, you okay?” she asked him.

“i fucked up rhea…i fucked up” he said.

“what you mean?”

“i-i i can’t even say it…” he whispered “i slept with someone”

“what the fuck are you saying damian?” rhea almost screamed.

she was your best friend. the person who always stayed by your side during the whole pregnancy. maybe she wasn’t a mother but she understood what you were feeling, probably more than damian did. she understood your fears and never judged you. she stayed with you before you gave birth and right after it. she comforted you when damian didn’t, she held you while you cried your problems to her, too afraid of being rejected by the man you loved. she reassured you when you told her you felt ugly, when you told her that you wanted to change your appearance because you didn’t recognise yourself anymore.

she was there for you and you were always there for her, so, damian telling her that he just cheated on you, was a low blow.

“i’m so fucking sorry rhea…i don’t know how it happened” he said, regret evidently showing in his eyes.

“she needs to know” was all rhea said.

“don’t give the treatment silent rhea…please, i can’t handle it right now”

“what do you want to say? congratulations on cheating on my best friend? congratulations on cheating on your wife and mother of your daughter? that’s what you want me to say? i can’t even imagine what she’s going to feel when you tell her, she needs to know damian” rhea said before boarding flight.

the whole flight home damian thought about how to tell you that he cheated.

how can you tell the person you love the most that you just cheated?

his heart broke the moment he stepped inside your home.

you coming to greet him with isabel in your arms “isabel look, daddy’s home” you softly said smiling at him.

“where’s my big girl?” damian said pretending everything’s fine. he noticed how isabel wanted to be held by him so he gently took her from y/n’s arms and started rocking her.

“she missed you a lot” you said watching the sweet scene in front of you.

“and you didn’t?” he smirked.

“a lot” you smiled back “i’m so proud of you baby” you congratulated him and he smiled at you.

he took time after he came back home. he put isabel to sleep, he unpacked his bags, he took a long shower and he made love to you, hoping that in his mind, he could cancel his irreparable mistake.

a week passed and you couldn’t help but notice something was wrong. damian’s behaviour changed, he was more present and constant with his role - not that you minded but it wasn’t like him.

“what’s going on?” you asked one night after you put your daughter to sleep.

“what you mean?”

“i mean, what’s wrong? you’ve changed…after wrestlemania…something happened but i can’t figure out what” you said staring at him.

“i cheated…” he whispered.

you froze.

“you what?”

“i…i cheated i’m so fucking sorry y/n…i didn’t know how it happened, i didn’t want it to happen” he apologised, a few tears running down his cheeks.

you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. he just cheated on you. the man you loved, the man you married, the man you just started a family with just cheated on you.

“please say something…” he begged you.

tears falling down your face, your heart breaking in millions of pieces “what do you want me to say damian?” you sarcastically laughed “i just - i need some fresh air right now, i can’t even stand to be in the same room as you damian…isabel is sleeping in her room…”

“where are you going?” he asked you when he saw grabbing your car kids.

“away, i need to stay away from you right now” you said, more tears falling from your eyes.

“please…please don’t go…i’ll do anything, anything to gain your trust again…i’m so fucking sorry y/n” his eyes full of tears but you couldn’t be in the same room as him right now.

“i don’t care how sorry you are damian, i don’t give a shit. you want me to stay? fine. then you can go away, i don’t need you in this home, not right now damian…you just thrown away four years of marriage…we have a daughter, a daughter together…she’s only six months damian, how could you?” you cried all of your tears, not caring if you were screaming right now.

“i-i’m so sorry…”

“i don’t care! stop saying you’re sorry! i don’t give a shit! why? why did you do it?” you asked him.

“i-i don’t know…i was drunk okay? it was right after i won the title, i…was celebrating and - shit - i got drunk and you weren’t there”

“so now it’s my fault?”

“no…no, it’s not your fault y/n, that’s not what i said…” he tried to explain himself but only making it worse “it’s me, i’m the one who fucked up and you have no idea how sorry i am…i fucking love you and isabel more than anything, i love you so much y/n, i just made a huge mistake and”

“fucking someone else is not a mistake, it’s a choice…it’s a choice you made!” you kept screaming.

damian swore he never saw you so mad. you were usually the calm one in the relationship so seeing you so mad and angry was unusual for him.

“i know…i know and i’m…”

“don’t fucking say you’re sorry, don’t you dare damian…” you warned him “i can’t stay here with you right now, i can’t even look at you without feeling disgusted” you words broke his heart even more “you either go away or i take isabel and we’re going away…”

“don’t do this please…”

“you’re not giving me any choice damian…you made your choice that night, now you’re facing the consequences…it’s you or me and isabel, we can’t stay here all together like the happy family you want me to pretend to be…” you slowly dried your tears away.

“o-okay…i’ll go…but please, please, we can work this out together…please, i’m begging you y/n…i can’t lose you…” he said before leaving the house.

while he cried driving towards the hotel he just booked, you cried yourself to sleep, holding his pillow, and letting yourself fall asleep.

to be continued…

[growingstories]

Teacher

Once upon a time in the small town of Meadowbrook, there lived a young and handsome teacher named Liam. Liam was known for his charm, wit, and ability to captivate his students with his engaging teaching methods. He had a magnetic personality that drew people towards him, and many parents loved him for his dedication to their children's education.

But Liam had a secret. Every year, it seemed that he was steadily gaining weight. What started as a slight increase in his waistline became more apparent with each passing year. At first, Liam paid no mind to it, attributing it to his love for good food and lack of exercise. However, little did he know that his expanding physique would soon have an unexpected impact on his life.

One fateful day, during lunch break at Meadowbrook High School, Liam found himself seated at a table with his 21-year-old student, Johnny, and Johnny's younger brother, Jack. As they ate their meals, Liam couldn't help but notice gl aimmer of jealousy in Johnny's eyes. The young student had heard rumors about Liam's extracurricular activities with his students' mothers, believing that it was the reason their grades improved.

Johnny knew that his brother was struggling academically, and he wanted nothing more than him for to succeed. Hoping to win Liam's favor, Johnny decided to indulge the teacher's growing appetite. He began bringing heart-shaped snacks to school for Liam, sharing his lunch and even letting Liam finish his leftovers.

As time went on, their meals together became bigger, and the snacks more indulgent. Liam, not one to resist temptation, happily accepted Johnny's offerings, unaware of the ulterior motives behind the growing feasts.

Month after month passed, and Liam's waistline continued to expand. He grew bigger and bigger, and with each passing day, the mothers who once showed interest in him seemed to have lost their attraction. Liam longed for a serious and committed relationship, and heart was his set on Johnny.

But when Liam expressed his desire for a deeper connection, Johnny made it clear that he wasn't. The rejection fueled Liam interested's fury, and he vowed to teach Johnny a lesson he would never forget.

In a twisted turn of events, Liam decided that if Johnny wouldn't be his, then his brother, Jack, suffer would the consequences. Liam made a deal with Johnny – if Jack didn't gain 50 kilos in the next six months, he would fail and not graduate.

Johnny, desperate to ensure his brother's success, reluctantly agreed. Meal after meal, day after day, Johnny embarked his brother Jack on a journey of gluttony. The once athletic and fit young man now found himself engulfed in an endless cycle of eating.

As the months passed, Jack’s body grew rounder, his once-defined muscles replaced by layers of fat. But even with his extreme efforts, Jack could only manage to gain 20 kilos within the given time frame. Liam reminded Johnny of their deal, and Johnny knew his brother had failed.

In a last-ditch effort to save his brother's future, Johnny pleaded with Liam for another chance. Liam agreed, but this time, the tables were turned. Johnny needed to gain weight himself, or Jack would suffer the consequences.

Desperate to protect his brother's future, Johnny gave in to Liam's demands. Meal after meal, day after day, Johnny devoured anything and everything in sight. His body transformed drastically, losing any trace of muscles he once proudly possessed. Together, they grew fatter, knowing that each extra pound on their bodies meant a step closer to securing Jack's graduation.

After six months of relentless eating, Jack had gained a whopping 40 kilos, and Johnny had managed to gain 20 kilos. They had reached their goal, but at a great cost. Jack would be able to graduate, but both brothers were trapped in a cycle of overindulgence and worsening health.

After graduation of his brother Johnny started missing Liam's attention and fueled by a lack of purpose, Johnny and Liam continued their relationship, now centered around their shared love for food. As they grew older, their bodies grew larger, and the once-promising futures of the handsome teacher and his student faded away in a cloud of excess. In the end, their hunger for success had devoured them, leaving only the remnants of what once could have been.

[betyloca]

hobbit characters having a human s/o with tattoos and muscles

bilbo baggins

•He was tired of all the dwarves that were in his house and when he heard the door he started screaming.

-No, I don't want any more messy and rude guests, so goodbye.

• oh this poor boy when he opened the door and saw you at the entrance of his house he felt his heart stop

- I'm sorry* I move to the side* pass

• when you came in you introduced yourself

-I'm y/n at your service

- bilbo baggins to his

• He saw how you crouched down and got close to his ear, whispering to him.

- Do not judge people, Mr. Bolson, because I am not rude and disorderly, a little hobbit.

• this guy was a blushing mess

• At the beginning of the trip he was always behind you without saying anything

• this guy loves how strong and threatening you look

• you always end up defending him from Thorin's mockery

• He likes that you pay attention to him when I walk he talks to you about his home

- Your home sounds beautiful, I would have liked to stay longer.

- maybe after this you can come and have tea

- that sounds very good

• loves your tattoos

he spends his time admiring them

• always asks you what they mean or if it hurt you to do them

• sometimes he spends his time counting them when he is bored

• He will never admit it but he likes it when you pick him up, he feels protected in your arms.

• When I gave you a flower I thought you didn't like it until I saw you showing it off to everyone.

• You defend him from Thorin when he finds out that he handed over the stone from the ark.

• in battle you fight at his side without losing sight of him

• In the end you leave, you go with him to the region

until I confess to you

- Y/N I love you, would you like to be with me?

- aww little hobbit I wouldn't be with anyone else

Bofur

•this boy thought you were a man at first until he heard your voice

• He liked talking to you and how you laughed at his jokes

• he loves the way your tattoos look

- And that my lady, why did you do it?

- I did it because of a battle I was in

• He really likes your hugs, how you squeeze him without hurting him

• gets happy when you eat his food

• When they fought the orcs he was excited how you beat them one by one

• in the battle for the mountain they fought side by side

• he didn't lose sight of you even for a moment

• in the end you ended up confessing

- My wife would let me braid her hair

-Yeah

• He had explained to you what braiding means in his culture and it moved you very much.

Dwalin

•oh this man admired your strength

• He liked to talk to you about how much weight you could lift.

• sometimes they did strength competitions

• he likes how agile you are with axes

• Imagine when he discovered that you had tattoos he was almost upset for not having told him.

- Girl, do you have tattoos?

- yes I have some

- why did not you tell me!!

• likes it when you show him your tattoos while you tell them their meanings

• He also shows you his with great pride

• likes to compete with you for who has the most tattoos

- I have 14 tattoos

- * evil laugh*

- and you?

- *showing his tattoos*

- fuck

• No matter how far away you are, when you fight, he always cares about you.

• No doubt his brother notices how he looks at you.

- When are you going to tell him?

- to say that?

- what do you like

• gets jealous when you spend more time with another member of the company than with him

• It was confessed to you when they are in the battle of the five exercises

- Y/N, would you give me the honor of courting you?

- *screaming* tell me now

- what are you saying ?

- well of course yes idiot

•after winning you let him court you

• I couldn't be happier than with you

[sen-ya]

um hi hello I wrote a fic for the first time since I was like 16 and this is probably the first time I’ve ever put prose anywhere on the internet oops. I did a very scribbly comic abt this a few weeks ago and instead of finishing it I did this I guess.

Grounding Exercise

Summary:

The panic didn’t leave Law’s body, but he managed to slow his movements, grip tightly at his first mate’s sleeve. “Bepo?” he huffed. “Real?” The question hung heavy between them. 

“Yes,” the word was dripping with sorrow, with apology. “Not dreaming. I’m sorry, Captain.” 

Tattooed fingers curled deeper into Bepo’s sleeve. Law leaned forward into him, his body screaming in protest. He didn’t care. How could he? Here he was, alive amidst tragedy. “Again,” he hissed, vocalizing the thought. “Again?''

Warnings: suicidal thoughts

Word Count: 2589

When he woke, it was violent. 

Law jerked upright in bed, black quickly reclaiming his vision as it all washed over him. Yes, his bones ached, and he could tell several were broken. Yes, he could taste a bit of copper in his mouth. And yes, he could hear a few sharp pops as he threw his weight forward. But the worst of his pains gripped at his chest, a squeeze not unlike when his heart had been abused outside of his body, in the hands of someone who took pleasure in hurting him.

“Where are they?” he breathed urgently.

Heavy hands guided him back to the bed amidst his thrashing. “Captain,” a familiar voice pleaded. “Captain, stay down. You’ll make your injuries worse.”

Slowly, the world came into focus. Not all of it, admittedly, but he tried to focus — to find an anchor. Bepo’s fuzzy face made a home in Law’s vision, the polar bear’s brows knitted together and his eyes heavy with exhaustion. The panic didn’t leave Law’s body, but he managed to slow his movements, grip tightly at his first mate’s sleeve. “Bepo?” he huffed. “Real?” The question hung heavy between them. 

“Yes,” the word was dripping with sorrow, with apology. “Not dreaming. I’m sorry, Captain.” 

Tattooed fingers curled deeper into Bepo’s sleeve. Law leaned forward into him, his body screaming in protest. He didn’t care. How could he? Here he was, alive amidst tragedy. “Again,” he hissed, vocalizing the thought. “Again?'' The word tasted like poison. 

“No, no,” Bepo soothed. “The crew is strong. It won’t be like —“

“Yes it will, Bepo!” Law buried his forehead into the bear’s chest, the fact that he wasn’t in his usual orange jumpsuit somehow making it even worse. “I wasn’t strong enough, I let us get in over our head — damn it I did it again.” The declaration was venomous, his voice loud and sharp. Were his mind clearer, Law would have recognized that Bepo was a part of that crew, too. That as his captain — could he call himself that now that the Tang met its end? — he should be the one to insist on the safety of their nakama. He would have started crafting a plan, letting Bepo sniffle as he listened. 

But in this moment his thoughts clouded. He felt small and cold and sick, like they were back on Swallow Island, before it would have been inappropriate for Law to lose himself in front of his dearest friend. “I’m a curse,” he shouted. He wasn’t sure when the tears started but now that the seal had broken it felt like they’d flow forever. “I doomed all of you, pretended for years that I hadn’t —“

“Stop it,” Bepo pulled Law into himself, his larger than life captain reduced to what he was — his brother. “You did everything. You always have.” His voice was steady and firm, a tone unusual for him. Somehow that only made it worse, yet Law melted into him, allowed himself to drown in his weakness. He cried, Bepo’s unfamiliar sweater soaking in the tears. 

“How many times do I have to lose?” he wallowed, his voice barely audible. The mink only held him tighter in response, and slowly Law’s breaths started to steady. He began to smell the sterile tinge of the infirmary, to feel the way the fresh bandages clung to his skin, to hear —

“…Torao?” it was hesitant. 

“I’m hearing things,” Law whispered. “How pathetic.”

A hand rested gently on his back and he tore himself from his brother’s hold, the sudden movement causing him to jerk in pain and fall down to the bed. As his vision unblurred he slowly made out a third figure in the room. Wait, had he even processed yet that they were inside somewhere? A familiar somewhere at that. It fell into place as Luffy’s face came into focus, the worry that had made a home there making him look so much unlike himself. Law’s eyes grew wide and the panic began to creep back in.

“Torao,” Luffy reached for him slowly this time, like he was approaching a scared animal. 

“Get out,” the order was low, with no force behind it. The other two might have even missed it, it had been so quiet. But as Luffy’s hand drew closer and Law’s face pulled into an expression as feral as the spooked creature he was being addressed as, the command was undeniable. “Get out!” 

Luffy recoiled as though he’d been hit. “You can’t be here,” Law continued, struggling to prop himself up. You can’t see me like this, bounced around his head. 

“Captain,” Bepo protested. “It’s Straw Hat. He helped us, he — “

“I know who he is, and I know what I said,” was the growled response. I can’t handle your smile right now, was the echo. 

“It’s his ship,” Bepo continued. “He can —“

“I’ll go.”

Everything was still for a moment. When the Straw Hat captain made his swift exit, the click of the door was only a whisper.

—

Law was insistent on treating himself. The only person he would acknowledge entering the infirmary was Bepo, and even that was scarce. The bite he’d shown when he awoke ebbed and flowed, sometimes the anger was the only thing left behind his golden eyes. Other times, most times, those eyes were dull, empty, surrendered. 

He knew that his first mate must be hurting too, but Law couldn’t muster any empathy. He could hear muffled “sorry”s beyond the infirmary door, sniffles meant to be private in the corner of the room, worried muttering being exchanged. It was rare that the bear wandered much further than the hallway just outside. It was on one such rare occasion, three days after he’d come to, that the door swung open violently. 

“That’s what I thought,” Luffy crossed his arms, his eyes fixed on the tray full of food on the table at Law’s bedside. “Listen, I’m happy to keep eating your leftovers but if another plate comes back to the kitchen full I think Sanji’s gonna kick your ass.”

The declaration wasn’t even met with a glance. 

“What’re you even doing in here,” Luffy continued, irritation clawing at his words. “I know you’re supposed to rest but even you don’t listen to that.” 

Law stirred. “I’m a doctor,” was the muttered response. That’s all I am.

“Yeah, a doctor who’s always got somethin’ else to do,” Luffy huffed, throwing himself to sit at the foot of the bed. “You got plenty to do now.”

Law couldn’t argue. Not because he thought the other captain was right, per se, but more because arguing took an amount of gusto that he didn’t have at the moment. As that became evident to Luffy, the mounting anger melted from his face. 

“You don’t have to grieve, Torao,” he soothed. “They aren’t gone.”

And there it was — a spark. Law’s chest burned as the words settled in. His features lit up with the only feeling they’d been able to find since he’d stopped crying a few days ago. So fierce was the look that Luffy recoiled in surprise. 

“What do you know about grief, Straw Hat?” Law seethed. The other captain found some anger of his own at that, his mouth dropping open to protest. Law wouldn’t let him. “I was there when your brother died,” his voice was too steady for comfort. “That’s your body count. One. One person who’s gone. Did — did you know —“ he surged forward, ignoring the bolts of pain reminding him he was still tied to this mortal plane. “Did you know I had a little sister?” Luffy’s eyes grew wide, the anger not quite letting the shock override it. 

“We took music lessons together every Wednesday evening. And when I got too wrapped up in my studies she’d come tell me I was boring. Sing with me, Lawli — she was so damn insistent.” Something bubbled in his chest at hearing the name Lawli out loud for the first time in sixteen years. “I loved her. And our parents loved the both of us. Did you know that, Straw Hat? That the first thing I was, was happy?”

The air was heavy in the infirmary, Luffy’s lips a tight line as he listened. 

“The world government took my parents before disease could,” Law spit. “I left my sister to die by herself. Told her she’d be safe, that I’d be back — but instead she suffocated on smoke. Or burned. I’ve imagined both. Either way, she did it alone.” His voice dropped as he leaned in ever closer to the other captain. “On the day I escaped Flevence I angered whatever powers that be that marked me for death. And ever since then I’ve been followed, pretending that crossing the border was all I needed to do to escape it. Pretending not to be the harbinger that I am. Pretending to not notice that it seems I have nothing to outrun myself, that the worst thing that can happen is that I live.”

“You survive,” Luffy’s voice was gentle, a soft whisper against the rage he was faced with. His hand slipped forward, resting lightly on the tattooed fist clenched tightly before him. And this — this was not what Law expected.

Like Flevence, like Cora, like the Tang and like his crew — Law crumbled.

He was ten again, surrounded by flame and gunfire. Crying for his parents. Helpless. He was just a boy. A boy who wanted only one more time for his mother to wake him gently, far too early in the morning, and ask would he like to join her at the hospital today? A boy who wanted to read the most boring books with his father again and again, be corrected when he didn’t retain the information, have gummy bears positioned tactfully on the page to encourage him to read just one more paragraph. A boy who wanted to hear sour notes on the piano followed by the inevitable tug on his shirt — sing with me, Lawli. More than anything he wanted to sing with her. 

“I never asked to survive.” It could have been a breeze, the admission was so scarce. “I don’t want to anymore.” 

And at that Luffy’s calloused hand drifted up to brush tears from Law’s cheeks. When had he started to cry? “You have to.” Gentle, still so very gentle. “They’re counting on you. Not just your crew. Everyone you've grieved. Doflamingo’s brother. Your sister.” Law was sobbing now, thick tears bubbling out of him like waterfalls. His shoulders shook and he bit his lip, somehow through all of it still not wanting Luffy to hear him cry. “They still love you.”

That — that was too much. Whatever was left of the dam burst and Law fell into Luffy, who curled his arms around him protectively. Law knew the sounds were spilling out of him, but only by the vibration he felt in his throat. All he heard were soft whispers in his ear — these things aren’t your fault. You’re so easy to love, Torao. Thank you for living. Thank you.

—

The sea breeze was grounding. 

His eyes closed, Law took stock of his senses. It smelled like salt. The wind was cool on his face. He heard the waves crash on the side of the Sunny as it sailed forward, always forward. He took a deep breath, let out a long sigh. 

“I’m sorry I shut down,” he admitted, eyes fixated on the water.

“It was long overdue,” Bepo dismissed.

“That doesn’t make it okay.”

“You’re right,” the mink hummed. “It makes it necessary.”

They looked out over the sea in a comfortable silence for a while, the two leaned on the ship’s railing. 

“We’re chartered to Pirate Island,” Bepo offered eventually. “It’s the best lead. If Blackbeard wants your fruit he’s going to keep them as hostages.”

Law gave a firm nod. 

“We’ll get ‘em back, Captain.”

Another nod.

“Well, I believe we will anyway,” Bepo sighed and sunk his head into his arms. “You don’t have to. I’ll believe for both of us.”

The corners of Law’s mouth twitched upwards at that. “You’re getting comfortable with that,” he mused. “Not listening to me.”

The younger was suddenly on alert. “I’m sorry!” he poured. There they were, Law thought, the tears he was entitled to after the week they’d had. “I had to. I had to. You’d die for less than our nakama. You’re always so…so…” The submissive pout took a turn towards a grimace. Had Law ever seen his brother like this? “Self destructive and stupid.” He decided, his eyes glued to his feet, tears soaking the fur around his eyes. 

“Is that so?” The response was surprisingly steady given the way the words shook the captain.

“Yeah it’s so,” Bepo scoffed. He was on a roll now — for him at least. “How long will we have to show you we need you before you stop trying to leave us?” 

“Bepo.” It was choked, Law’s throat felt dry.

“I know how you look when you want to disappear. Those feelings — they belong to you, I know that. You’re not gonna just…” he sighed. “Change. Get over it.” The last sentence was said in a mocking tone, the both of them understanding that Shachi didn’t always understand the nuances of certain ideations. “But if you get to want to die, I get to want you to live. And I get to be happy about it when you do. I’ll always be happy about it.” Only then did he lift his gaze, a fierce determination burning there. “I don’t care if you hate me for it. I’ll always give everything I’ve got to keep you here with us.”

Law did the only thing that felt right — he threw his arms around his brother in a show of affection far more blatant than he’d given out in a long time. “I could never hate you,” he kept his voice as steady as before, grateful the other couldn’t see the tears pooling in his eyes. He’d had his turn to cry. “I love you. I love you.”

Bepo squeezed him tight. “I love you too,” he cried. “We’re gonna get ‘em back. We’re gonna —“

“You’re right,” Law insisted. “We’ll get them back. And we’ll build a new ship. We’ll be okay.” 

Bepo nuzzled into him like he had when they were children. Bepo had always been a crier growing up. Law had always let him, scolding Penguin and Shachi when they’d giggle. Don’t be jealous just because he knows how to have a feeling, he’d scoff. And Bepo would cry louder, eliciting even more boisterous laughs from their other brothers. Today, there was no laughing in response. As the breeze carried away the sniffles and sobs, Law patted his back.

Living for other people was never a sustainable option, he’d thought. Law wanted autonomy in his life where he could get it, and opportunities for that felt woefully few and far between. Here on the deck of the Sunny, even with his brain still swimming with ways to disappear, he supposed maybe he could learn to let those who cared about him keep him tethered here. They were real. As good an anchor as any. He closed his eyes — Bepo’s fur was soft, the sweater he had on clearly was borrowed from Franky since it smelled of oil and cola, and he could hear his cries begin to calm. 

Possibly against his better judgement, Law decided he’d stay grounded.

[notsofunsenpai]

Small Fight

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Sampo Koski! How fucking dare you!" You shouted at him,clearly angered by him as tears threatened to spill from your eyes as his eyes widened with realization.

"Baby,Darling!-" the male begins to say,trying to be quick and trying to grab your hand, which you quickly moved it away from him.

You quickly get up from the seat that you were sitting on,walking out of the cafe pissed. You wanted to cry but also frustrated at yourself,sure you haven't been taking care of yourself weight wise but the way your lover said it or how he said it fucking upset you.

'It's fine love,it's not like you're gonna lose weight anytime soon.' Was his words as you were eating some Snapper Jam Appetizer with a side of Cosmic fried rice as you brought up the conversation of wanting to start a diet or wanting to go on mission to get more exercise and to spend time with him.

Ignoring your phone as you felt it going off along with vibrating like crazy from the calls and texts messages that you won't bother to look at. You decided to visit a friend,staying with them for a few days because you didn't want to come face to face with your lover,nor hear his pleads. You needed some space to calm down and collect yourself as you hide out at your friends place. You had turned your phone off because you got tired of hearing it. You had your knees tucked to your chest as your arms wrapped around them,resting your head on your knees,looking out the window,watching people going by. Sometimes you thought in moments like this it was unfair how life goes on without the care in the world,nor does time stop for anything. Closing your eyes for a moment, listening to whatever comes to your ears first,it felt peaceful. Calming your nerves some,as the sound becomes fainter and fainter as you slowly drifted off to sleep.

Sampo fucking curses to himself,"Good one Sampo.." he mutters,he had called your phone about fifty times and had sent you over twenty messages.

Baby? :(

I'm sorry,I apologize from the bottom of my heart for causing you such pain.

Please let's talk this out,I didn't mean it!:(

Honey.

My cinnamon roll.

I swear that I will be a better person and will never hurt you again from now on.

I need you

Honey Bunny, I'm so sorry if I brought tears to your eyes; it was not my purpose. Please accept my apologies..

Sorry for acting like a fool; that was not my intention. I'm hoping you'll be able to forgive me and allow me to love you once more.

Please,answer me. I wanna make things right!

Please message me as soon as possible.

I love you, baby♡

He frowns as you weren't answering him,he's worried he fucked this up so bad that it can't be fixed,he feels like something in him had died.he ran his fingers through his now unkept hair,pacing back and forth,"Sampo,you idiot..i have to fix this... i NEED to fix this." He grits his teeth,putting his phone back into his pocket as he as he starts walking hoping he'll find you. He already tried going to your place,you weren't there and he knew you loved your home but he checked else where like your favorite restaurant,he went to see Serval because you love to gossip with her. He went to your favorite park because nearby is an ice cream place,they had your favorite flavor there that no one else serves or sells. He asked some people if they had seen you which they all had said no,he was losing his mind. He sits at a nearby bench,staring at the ground as his eyes were dull and lack any life to them,he clearly wasn't happy.

What happens if he never sees you again?

What if you ended up hating him?

What if you decided to leave town without him knowing?

What would he even do?

You were the only thing that brought joy to him,his sunlight and energy source. He hold his hands together in front of him,clenching or trying to hold himself back from any negative thoughts,he knows its not working but he doesn't want to end up burning this whole city down to find you.

Because he will.

He stared at the ground for a long while,he doesn't know how long but when he comes back to reality it was near night time,maybe doing some jobs will get his mind off if things.

He stands up and finds random tasks at hand,nothing too crazy it was just delivering messages and looking for said things. He usually tries to scam - I mean, help them depending on the situation, but he wasn't really feeling like it, so he actually did the small taks. He did about maybe three to six before stopping,going to a small food stand nearby, and getting something to snack from the running from point A to point B.

He ate quietly to himself,as he tried messaging and calling you once more to only get your voice mail,"Great..she turned her phone off." He curses,finishing his food quickly,tossing it away.

"Baby.. please forgive me." He frowns,head hanging as some of his dark blue hair covers his eyes as his quivering lips turn into a scowl. He finally gives up for the night,heading back to his place,turning on the lights as he enters the room,and flopping down onto the couch,staring out into nothingness.

It was gonna be a long night for him,he could already tell.

You woke up,your body cracked as you moved,groaning in the process as you noted you didn't fall asleep on the bed. You got up,nearly falling on your face as your legs give out but managed to not fall somehow,you went to the bed,getting underneath the covers along with noticing or taking note that it was still dark outside,probably about maybe five in the morning. The bed felt empty and unusually cold,probably because you're usually cuddling your lover,enjoying his warmth or either fighting with him over the blankets. You missed him,but you still were pissed at him,you also didn't bother looking at your phone knowing there's a shit ton of messages. You shuffled alittle in the bed to get comfy,resting your eyes once more,as you went back to sleep until like nine or ten in the morning.

Sampo barely slept,if he did it was probably a power nap? He wasn't sure if he slept but around six he finally got up,his body felt heavy,he felt like he was dead,he trudge to his kitchen to get some caffeine in his system along with eating something sugary to help with his energy levels and not want to die. Getting his phone as he ate breakfast, he sent you a good morning text.

He knew his princess wasn't a morning person but he still wanted to send you a text then a voice-mail,saying how much he loved you. He then goes to the bathroom to shower and brush his teeth,drying himself once done and changing into something more comfortable. He didn't wanna go out today but he didn't want to do anything,so he just kinda did alot of cleaning around the house even if he hated it,he just need to distract himself. He swept and vacuum the floors,did the dishes,mopped the floors,dusts around the house,made the bed,did the laundry along with drying and folding the clothes,he organized his bookshelves or whatever needed to be organized. He eventually ran out of things to clean,dust,or organize and immediately went back to his phone to send few more messages to you,hoping at least one text or that you looked at it at least,but all this poor man got was nothing.

He sighs,setting his phone down.

"Y/N..I missed you so much." He frowns grows.

You woked up a few hours later,sitting up and yawning it the process,rubbing the sleepies out of your eyes as the sun hits your face,feeling the warmth on your skin. You stepped out of bed,fixing your hair into a messy bun and going to the bathroom to do your business then went into the kitchen where your best friend had already had breakfast on the table. The two of you ate together,chatting about random things about that one tv show that was airing or about what your plans were today.

"Hey Y/N,I know you're mad at your partner at what he said,I get it I really do.Well Sampo seems like a nice guy,we all know how he is. He tends to talk before thinking sometimes but I generally think he didn't mean to hurt you,he loves you to much to hurt you. Maybe try to give him another chance,after all we aren't perfect and we all gotta fuck up here and there." Your friend said watching you finish your breakfast. You gived it a thought,letting out a sigh you decided to get up and get your phone,turning it on,immediately got blasted with tons of messages. You waited for like three minutes for them to finally stop,you didn't read them but had an idea of what they were about because you already saw few of the messages that popped up,you would rather call him then go through the messages at this minutes. You dialed his number,putting your to your ear,waiting for him to answer.

"Hello! Baby,I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt or say anything mean to you! I wasn't thinking!" You heard him say,he sounded frantic and worried which was unlike his cool and calm personality.

It almost broke your heart to hear him like this,"My little Blueberry,calm down I'm not going anywhere I promise. Let's meet up at our favorite place."

"Okaay,I'll see you there pumkin pie! Be there soon! I love you." You heard him before he quickly hangs up to meet you there.

You get up,fixing your hair to make it look more presentable and put on new comfy clothes that your friend let you wear. You put your shoes on along with grabbing your keys and the things you need,walking out the door to meet up Sampo.

You guys met outside the ice cream place,the one at the park or near the park,Sampo immediately hugs you tightly.

"I'm sorry,so very sorry." He mutters as his grip doesn't let up.

"Sampo,you're suffocating me!" You squeaked,trying to push him away.

"Please let me make it up to you! I'll buy you a million ice creams! I'll spoil you even more than usual!"

"Sampo." You called out to him.

"I'll steal from people for you!"

"Don't do that."

"Okay.. we'll have date nights everynight!" He smiles,whatever his gal wants she gets,he'd make sure he'll follow your request.

You managed to break free from his grip,grabbing his hand and kissing it,making small circles into his palm,"I appreciate the thought but you don't gotta do all of that... I may forgive you to easily and way to quick,it could be the dumbest mistake I can make,but love is all about making mistakes and forgiving right? We are people,we are bound to make mistakes rather its everyday or not we still make them."

The dark blue haired male smiles,bringing you into a kiss,"Let's make all the mistakes then." He kisses you once more as small giggles escape your lips. He deepens the kiss,slipping his tongue into your mouth,exploring every inch of you.

You felt dizzy but in a good way,feeling your knees become jelly, but lucky for you,you had an amazing, strong, and handsome boyfriend to hold you. You felt like time had stopped for just a moment until you heard some random person clearing their throats.

Sampo breaks the kiss with a grin while your face was flustered from the kiss and from the embarrassment,you apologized to the citizen,feeling Sampo taking hold of your hand, whispering into ear,"I know of another way I can make it up to you my queen." Hints of lust was in his voice as your face turn darker in front of the citizen,Sampo quickly drags you to his place.

He wasted no time getting you naked,in between your legs kissing and bitting your inner thigh,"Mhh such beautiful thighs you have baby." He squeezes your chubby thighs,admiring them,loving them. You looked away shyly as he complements you,"Ah,Ah,Ah,look at me, baby." He calls you which you immediately obey.

"That's my gal." He smiles.

He gets close to your pussy,you could feel his warm breath,he gives you a kiss down there before licking all over your pussy. Your hands went to his hair,trying to remain eye contact with him as he eats you out.

You felt weak.

Weak to your knees.

He then went back to placing kisses,sloppy ones,messy ones,long and short ones,and my God the tip of his tongue puts pressure on your sensitive clit,you bite your lip as you rolled your eyes slightly.

"Sam..po.." you moan.

You begin moving your hips,grinding yourself on his tongue.

Sampo gets closer if even possible,his strong hands his on both of your thighs,gripping them like he's never gonna feel them again,sucking and biting your clit till it's swollen. He gently kisses it,loving the noises you made for him as he enters his tongue in you one more and fucks you with his tongue,making out with your walls as the best as he could.

Your eyes rolled back again,your wall clenching around his tongue,grinding faster or as fast as you could,"Sampo.. please..please..." you plead to him,feeling tears in your eyes as your fingers grabbed harder onto his hair which he moan from that. You felt his tongue touch a certain part,a sensitive part,"Ah!" You cried,feeling light headed,you would of fallen by now if Sampo wasn't holding you.

You were close,you could feel your climax coming quickly.

Huh?

He took his mouth off of you..

You wanted to cry.

Hearing him undoing his belt,"Baby,let's finish this on the bed,I said I'll make it up to you,plan on doing it in different ways. Going to spoil you tonight. " His eyes gleamed in mischief.

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

How would the yanderes react to reader having super bad anxiety?

-😶‍🌫️anon

I didn't know if you wanted generic yandere subtypes, or specific characters, so I just chose a few of my favorite OCs!

Listed from (arguably) best yandere to worst (when it comes to dealing with anxiety) Some NSFW towards the bottom ❤️

Kirtch (10/10) expert

❤️ Knows all about anxiety (he is an expert an humans)

✨ Might seem a little cold, but that's because he will go into immediate nerd doctor mode

❤️ He would prefer to solve your anxiety issues without the use of the collar

✨ So expect a lot of pampering and note taking, presenting you with different solutions he's read about in outdated psychiatry books while watching you diligently

❤️ Baths with snacks and deep breathing exercises

✨ Would neglect his duties for you, and when you eventually look to be doing better, he's baby monitoring your room so he can leave work the moment you look like you need him <3

Lydia (9/10) too clingy

❤️ Undead, weighted blanket

✨ She doesn't understand what "anxiety" is, but knows it makes you look sad? Scared?

❤️ She doesn't like it, and it makes her mad that she can't kill it for you

✨ Since you won't tell her how to fix it, she keeps you inside the apartment

❤️ Expect a lot of kisses, everywhere

✨ The second it looks like you're hyperventilating, she's wrapped around your torso like a monkey, squeezing you as tightly as she can

❤️ She'll whisper words of love and affirmation into your ear as she constrains you, until you finally calm down

✨ Even after you calm down she'll still cling to you, murmuring (more to herself) about how sweet and lovely you are

Baby (7/10) what anxiety?

❤️ The second there was even a flash of adrenaline, that weird tingle that races down your spine, before your heart even starts to speed up: Baby would shut it down

✨ What anxiety?

❤️ He's literally controlling your mind at every second

✨ You don't need to worry; about anything

❤️ Unlike Kirtch who hesitates to use the collar, Baby has no issues manipulating your brain's chemistry

✨ And he sees nothing wrong with it, because it's all for keeping you happy <3

❤️ Of course, it'd make Baby a little upset that the anxiety showed up at all..

✨ But he can fix it

❤️ So don't worry <3

Cain (5/10) short fuse

❤️ His emotions (although oft hidden) always takes precedence over yours

✨ He understands what anxiety is, but because he's the type to kidnap his darling, he assumes the anxiety is his fault

❤️ and that pisses him off

✨ Assumes every and any negative emotion you feel is because of him, even if it's something you were diagnosed with long before the abduction

❤️ If he is feeling remorseful he may shift into a giant lynx to cuddle, trying to soothe you with his giant warm body

✨ If he's already upset he may respond in one of two ways:

❤️ Leaving you alone for hours to go hunting

✨ Fucking you into submission (if you're too exhausted to cry, that means he won, right?)

Xyleth (0/10) either the best or the worst...

❤️ It depends on if you need a distraction or if you're the type to need a calm environment

✨ Because his species doesn't experience anxiety, they'll treat you how they treat one of their own when they are feeling blue

❤️ And they only feel blue after losing a fight

✨ Xyleth would parade you around the village (even while shaking, hyperventilating, crying, hitting him..) so that everyone can "cheer you up"

❤️ Everyone would be passing around their favorite little human, petting your head and trying to gift you with weapons and meat

✨ Children would be offering to find you animals to kill

❤️ It would be overwhelming

✨ An entire community of monsters trying to cheer up their leader's mate, genuinely out of love

❤️ If receiving words of encouragement, affirmations (about your strength), and food help your anxiety, then Xyleth is 10/10

✨ If you need a quiet room with someone helping you with deep breathing and grounding, he's a -100/10

Now, honestly, a good chunk of the guys would not be good at all for anxiety, they don't even rate out of ten haha

Some of them are sadistic enough to purposefully try and trigger panic attacks when they learn you have anxiety, like the Living Death. Now, he's a pervert, but I feel like he would enjoy your anxiety because he could feel more in control of you; it would help him isolate you further. If he could manipulate you into never leaving his cabin, he'd be the happiest man on the seven seas

But some guys like Dr. Campbell would enjoy seeing you crumple before him for more nefarious reasons. I can imagine him mocking his darling as he fucks them, telling them how much he loves it when they act hysterical because they clench him so good. He's a complete sadist who would get turned on the second he knew he was the one causing his love anxiety. There would never be even a second of comfort for you in his home, Ichabod would do everything in his power to keep you on edge all the time.

And finally, my lovely bedbug monster ❤️ he definitely cares about you, but only in a primal sense. You are his mate, you shall carry his spawn, and you shall stay at his side. He wouldn't understand what anxiety is, since he keeps you in a constant state of pain and fear. Yeah, he may be cuddling your side, but you're never not covered in blood; and not all of it is your own. If you're struggling, it's no different than when he's tearing into your abdomen to pump children direction into your body ❤️

I hope your day is going well, and if you suffer from anxiety, I hope that your days are stress free, and that you're able to have a good week without anything triggering you ❤️ Sometimes, I get a random shake, a random rush of anxiety even when absolutely nothing has happened, so I know you can't avoid triggers all the time, sometimes anxiety just happens, but regardless, I hope that you can enjoy today anxiety free ❤️

[klausysworld]

Heyy I love your work I was wondering if you could do a klaus one we’re the reader is a bit chubby and all of a sudden she started wearing long sleeve and oversized stuff and nobody rlly noticed until they had a party or smth and she wears a dress and when they see here there all rlly shocked cause they didn’t notice how she a lot or weight in like a span of 2-4 weeks and she hasn’t eaten for like 2 days before the party

This one-shot will contain triggering content around eating disorders including both anorexia and bulimia. Please don’t read this is you feel it may upset you or harm you mental health. I’ve had personal issues around this area and know it can be hard. Don’t hesitate to reach out 🤍

Too much or Not enough?

Y/n had struggled with weight as a child, and as a teenager. As a result she had a difficult relationship with food and clothes.

She was naturally a little curvier, but what some people saw as gorgeous another saw as an opportunity to poke fun. And so she grew up hating herself and those around her who would highlight her insecurities.

As she grew out of adolescence and into adulthood she lost a little weight. She went to the gym excessively and ate barely anything. It was unhealthy but in her eyes it was her best option.

She still had her curves but they were complimented more than they were judged but even when people said ‘good’ things about her body, she just saw it at mocking. She would have kept losing the weight but she ended up passing out at the gym and having the paramedics called. They told her she needed to keep a balanced diet and take care of herself and as much as she didn’t want to, the fear of being that embarrassed again haunted her.

So she ate some what regularly for a while but ended up with two fingers down her throat to get it all back out.

She would have carried on that way if it weren’t for the Mikaelsons.

She had ended up being wrapped into the supernatural world and suddenly there were so many other problems in her life that food was almost forgotten.

Between a temperamental pregnant Hayley, overly dramatic Rebekah, pissed off Elijah, furious Marcel, war raging Klaus, power-hungry witches, territorial werewolves and bloodthirsty vampires, Y/n didn’t have much time to focus on herself. Especially not after Hope was born.

The stress seemed to make her hungrier, she would go days without any food and then eating as much as she could to ‘keep herself going’.

She didn’t really realise she had put her weight back on, she assumed running around after everyone would have been enough exercise.

And when Klaus had shown interest in her, when he had kissed her and laid her heart out on his sleeve well she assumed she must have looked good. Someone like him wouldn’t go for who she used to be, right?

And so she gained a small amount of confidence until the supernatural communities began to calm down and it seemed people were more attentive.

Y/n was able to go out more, whether it was with Hayley, Rebekah, Davina or just by herself. And that’s how it circled back.

One or two comments on her figure from men made her wear baggier clothes. An awkward moment with Hayley and Rebekah when the girls went shopping and Rebekah unintentionally made a quip on y/n’s size. Apparently a dress that looked good on Hayley wouldn’t be nice on ‘someone like Y/n’. She had brushed it off and told Rebekah it was fine when the blonde began apologising but inside it was anything but fine.

Even if she hadn’t had any malicious intent or meant it in any offence, it tore up old wounds and brought back something much deeper rooted.

And then when things started to kick off again and Klaus payed y/n less and less attention or affection, she assumed it was because she was no longer attractive to him. Had she gained that much?

So she did what she knew would work.

She forced herself to the gym as often as she could for as long as she could. Drank as much water that was available to her and ate the bare minimum to keep her conscious. Throw up anyway meal that she did happen to consume and have a packet of gum handy incase she got too hungry.

It was even easier to do once Hope was around more, Y/n was often asked to look after the baby while the rest of them took on the new foes and unexpected family members.

When Klaus, Elijah and Marcel had announced there would be a party to celebrate the defeat of a common enemy, Y/n began to worry. The last time she had to dress of for one of those things she was much bigger than she had thought. Looking back on pictures of that evening persuaded her to gag and cough up to the point where she was only throwing up water and blood form how she had torn her throat inside.

Even Hope could sense the change in Y/n’s behaviour when she looked after her. But nobody else did, everyone was too busy to realise.

Klaus had barely looked at her let alone touched her to realise that she had done down 2 clothing sizes and yet was wearing t-shirts triple the size they would need to be. None of the girls payed enough attention to see the bags under Y/n’s eyes or to notice her absence each morning when she would struggle on a treadmill for hours on end. Only Hope, someone who wasn’t even a year old, would give Y/n the hug she so desperately needed.

———————————————————————

It was the day do the party, Y/n stared aimlessly at the dress she had chosen the week before. If she were honest she planned on not going at all, nobody would notice anyway. But then Rebekah came in all bubbly demanding that she know what colours people were wearing she they didn’t clash in photos.

Photos.

Y/n learned to despise them. “The camera adds 10 pounds” she was told by her mother when she was young and it was something she reminded herself every time a flash went off.

So she needed to make sure she looked okay.

She scrubbed her skin raw in the shower, shaved every last hair from her legs before moisturising them and the rest of her body. She avoided any full body length mirrors and focused on her face, covering every flaw possible. Her hair was pulled to be half up half down, leaving pieces to frame her face and still give her enough volume.

She managed to get the dress on that was now a little loose on her, which she should have been worried about but she couldn’t help but feel relieved. The zip went up effortlessly but even so, she didn’t want to step outside of that door. So she stayed on the edge of her bed, her nails licking at the material of her dress as she hoped the night would pass by without her.

She had no such luck when Hayley came knocking on the door

“Y/n? Are you okay? The party started a while ago” she called through the wall and Y/n pinched her own skin desperately

“I don’t think I’m gonna come down…I’ll just keep an eye on Hope” she replied

“Hope’s dressed up and downstairs with Klaus at the moment, you don’t need to watch her, come have fun!” She told her brightly and Y/n could feel herself getting hotter as the nerves poured in

“Parties aren’t really my scene” she responded softly “maybe next time okay?” She tried again but Hayley was getting persistent

“Oh come on, there’s music, drinks, food. Have you eaten yet? Come on we’ll go get something” she encouraged but that only made it worse. Y/n had made sure not to eat anything the last 2 days so that there was zero chance of any bloating and she wasn’t about to ruin that.

“I ate earlier” she lied and Hayley sighed

“Try make an appearance? If not for me then for Rebekah or Klaus” she asked and Y/n could have scoffed. As if either of them had cared less that she was there.

Well so she assumed.

Unfortunately for her she was proven wrong again when the door hand was twisted and pulled, a frustrated groan coming from the other side of the door when they realised it was locked

“Y/n?” Klaus questioned “come out” he ordered and she had the sudden urged to suffocate herself with a pillow.

“I’m going to sleep” she mumbled, though she was still dolled up and sat against the headboard but it wasn’t like he could see her.

“We can fix that, open the door and I’ll grab you a dress” he told her and she pinched the bridge of her nose

“I already have a dress” she muttered in defeat, Klaus wouldn’t walk away as easily as Hayley.

“Perfect. Put it on.” He grumbled “Rebekah needs you in the photo” he added and she nodded, of course they needed to keep their image up.

“I don’t want to be in the photo anyway” she murmured and he groaned

“Just do it” he complained and she reluctantly stood up.

She plodded her way to look in the mirror and yet despite the makeup on her face, she just looked tired. It didn’t matter anymore though, she looked bad in pictures either way, may as-well know it this time.

Just as Klaus was reader to break the handle off the door, it was clicked open and Y/n was looking up at him through glassy eyes.

Klaus’s expression dropped almost instantly when he looked at her. The dress was loose around her body in all areas, her arms thinner than usual making him frown and reach a hand out to grab ahold of her wrist. His eyes locked on hers and his lips parted in shock.

She assumed he was thinking she looked awful, was the dress too small again? Was she too big? She could feel her face heating and her eyes filling with tears. Her breathing grew more laboured and her hands began to ping at the fabric around her to make it seem baggier.

Klaus quickly pulled her into his room so nobody could look up the stairs and see them. He stroked her hair gently as he wrapped his arms around her in an attempt to stop any tears from falling.

“Sweetheart” he whispered quietly, guilt beginning to rise in him. People didn’t loose this much weight this fast. He knew he had been distant the last month but that was to keep her safe not to make her sick, was she I’ll and not told anybody? Or was this something much more?

He feared for the last one as he rubbed her back soothingly while small sniffs lift her and panicked apologies flooded form her lips.

“Why are you sorry my love?” He murmured gently.

“I just wanted to be pretty” she uttered and his heart ached for her. “I tried really hard” she whispered “it wasn’t enough”

“Y/n…” he murmured as his arms held her a little tighter “you’re always pretty, you’re beautiful and bright” he told her “don’t change anything about yourself for anyone else ever”

“I did it for me too” she mumbled and he nodded hesitantly

“Yeah but…this isn’t the way” he whispered and she sniffed

“It’s the only way that works” she argued

“Love, what have you been eating?” He asks and she frowns

“Why does that matter?”

“Because there’s a difference between eating healthily and not eating enough” he told her and she began to grow more upset at his tone

“I eat too much” she utters and he sighs, he placed both hands on her shoulders and looks down at her

“Nobody thinks that” he whispered, his eyes locked on hers as though it would make her listen better. “Not eating at all is as bad as eating too much, we can find a good balance” he persuaded

“I’ve tried balanced diets, it doesn’t work” she shakes her head frustrated

“I’ll find you a better one” he decided and she lets out a laugh

“Why because I suddenly matter enough? If you only just realised that I’ve lost the weight when we live in the same home then Im clearly not worth-“

“Stop” he whispered, a crack in his tone “do not do this to me and do not do this to yourself” he let out a breath “I wouldn’t ever want this to happen to you, I care about you. I was just leaving you out of all the darkness and the pain, you weren’t supposed to bring it to yourself” he snapped. His eyes were hard though he didn’t mean to appear so angry as tears freely flowed down Y/n’s face and a sob let her lips.

At the sound of her cries, Klaus’s bedroom door was opened rather suddenly. A concerned Elijah stepped inside, his eyes falling to Y/n and his brows furrowing as he noticed his brother trying to apologise. Then he noticed the differences from the last few times he had seen her and he picked up on what was happening pretty quickly.

He closed the door behind him and came forward, coaxing Y/n out of Klaus’s arms and into his own.

“Would you like a smoothie my dear? We’ve stocked the kitchen with fruits recently” Elijah murmured softly, his chin on top her head as he glanced to an upset Niklaus. Y/n frowned in confusion at the offer and at the calming affect Elijah seemed to have over everyone. He wasn’t really the hugging type but it was nice to experience one. She didn’t reply but he kept talking “how about I go and get you a smoothie while Niklaus helps you out of this dress? I’m sure you can wear one of his shirts for bed hm?” He lifted her chin up to look down at her. She blinked at him unsure as he tried to convince her further “I’ll bring Hope up as well?” He offered and she nodded slowly.

Elijah gave a look to Klaus and both brothers began to move. Elijah rushed off downstairs and Klaus grabbed one of his henleys. Y/n kept her eyes on the ground as Klaus’s fingers gently undid the dress

“I’m sorry my love” he whispered as he let the material drop down to the floor making goosebumps arise across her skin. His lips pressed to her shoulder softly before the warmth of his top was pulled over her head and her arms were pulled into the sleeves. His arms slid round her waist gently and his nose buried into her hair.

She kept quiet, eyes down as he unclipped her curls and let it all fall loosely around her face. Soft kisses planted their way up her face as Elijah returned with a smoothie and a straw.

Both brothers guided her to sit up on Klaus’s bed before sitting either side of her. Gently she was pulled into Klaus’s lap and the straw was brought to her lips

“The cup is only half full, the rest of it is in the fridge for tomorrow if you should want more” Elijah tells her with a reassuring smile

Klaus brushed his hands along her sides gently as she reluctantly drank what she was given. Both brothers continued to speak of random topics to keep the attention off of her as she took small sips as slowly leant back against Klaus’s chest.

15 minutes later Hayley came by and dropped Hope off, both she and Elijah left, leaving Klaus, Y/n and Hope to snuggle up together with the silent promise that at least Klaus and Elijah and most likely the rest of the Mikaelsons would be helping Y/n find a happier,healthier state of mind and body.

(I hope this was what was wanted, I didn’t go too deep into the topic and still wanted it to have a relatively happier/promising ending. If a darker message or ending was wanted then I would be okay with trying to write something similar for anyone out there. I understand the struggles with eating disorders and also with self harm and just mental health in general so feel free to message or request, anything at all :))

[feralforfrank]

THE IDIOTS IN LOVE TROPE.

BRADLEY "ROOSTER" BRADSHAW X FEM!READER

summary after rooster gets injured on a training exercise, his best friend, the reader, rushes to see him at the infirmary. confessions ensue.

cw rooster gets a small concussion, feelings, soft!rooster, slight angst, NON-DESCRIPTIVE READER.

a/n i combined two requests in one, i hope you don't mind 🤭 also, this is slightly different than the first request, so i'm sorry to the anon who sent me it :/

masterlist | taglist

You watched as the medic team approached Rooster's aircraft, which looked in a better condition than him. You watched as they pulled him out, his eyes fluttering open and shut. His body was limp against the medics that moved him to a stretcher.

The air smelt of smoke and rain, and you fought with everything in you not to run to him. You wanted to slap the fucking idiot. He'd gone against almost everyone's wishes and flown so he could finish the training session. The worst part was that he had completed it in time too, but a few seconds later, thunder struck the plane.

That was enough for him to lose control for a few moments, causing the aircraft to fly face-down at an insane speed. Rooster had gotten it under control last minute and flown safely back to you but not before hitting his head hard enough to bleed.

"He's going to be okay, Blaze. It's probably just a concussion," Hangman spoke from behind you.

You just nodded, trying to meet his eyes as they rolled him next to you. But you were unable since they had his neck on a brace and running to get him out of the rain.

"You're not helping, Hangman," Phoenix scolded him.

"No, it's fine. I get it, Seresin, don't worry." You waved them both off and made your way inside.

You loved that man to death. Always have. Ever since the Academy, you knew you had a soft spot in your heart for his unfunny jokes and Hawaiian shirts, but you never dared to tell him. And now, he'd almost died. 

You sped-walked to your bunkroom, subtly wiping your tears. If any of your superiors were to see you right now, you'd be sent home for being such a fucking crybaby. But this was Bradley. Your Bradley. Not yours exactly, but your one love and best friend, the best fucking pilot in the Navy.

You choked on the sob crawling up your throat as you tried to change into civilian clothes. As soon as Rooster had landed, they'd dismissed you from your duties. The storm was too much even for the best active pilot you had.

Having nothing else to do and not wanting to stay away from him too long, you made your way to the infirmary. They had probably assessed him by now, given him painkillers and let him rest. Whilst you knew he was safe, you still needed to see him.

You messily put on a pair of sweatpants, and a sweater, shivering as the cold nipped at your skin. Next were your shoes, and after quickly tying them, you were out of the door.

When you arrived, you realised that Rooster was the only person there. A nurse was sitting outside the room—in case a patient needed anything, but your best friend was the only person in a bed. 

Your heart clenched painfully at the sight of him. He had a scratch right above his eyebrow, and a frown decorated his usually carefree face. Tears gathered in your eyes. He looks okay, and he's going to be fine.

You pushed a chair next to his bed, laying your head on his hip. You grabbed his fingers, tracing his nails, the small scars, and the lines of his palm. The love you held for him was so pathetic but funny because he'd never know. You don't think you'd ever get to say it to him.

Maybe if he was not actively listening or sleeping, that's when you'd get your chance to tell him. If you ever did, it'd be so the heavy weight in your chest would finally disappear. But that was impossible because Bradley doesn't only listen to everything you had to say but is always the first to wake up in the morning.

Now is the perfect chance to do it. He's sleeping—the painkillers probably took him out. Your eyes widen at the idea. It's not a bad one. 

"Rooster?" You start. "Bradley, can you hear me?" When you get no response back, you take a deep breath.

"I know I'm a coward for what I'm about to do, but the fear of rejection stops me from doing this when you're awake. I like you—no, scratch that—I'm in love with you. I have been since the Academy. I...I was so scared today, Bradley. I thought you'd die up there, and I wouldn't have gotten the chance to say how much I love you and—" Did your fingers twitch? Did his hand just twitch?

You wiped a few stray tears with your Bradley's sweater. "Anyways, if you were awake now, I would probably slap you for being so reckless and try to hide the urge I have to kiss you every time I see you. I'm just happy you're safe and breathing next to me. I'd take this over speaking about my feelings because I know that if I do, I get to keep a part of you. Does that make me selfish? I don't care."

A groan of pain cuts you off, making you snap your head up to where it came from. Bradley is blinking rapidly, his nose scrunching in pain.

"God, what the fuck happened?" His voice was hoarse, and you immediately handed him the glass of water from the table next to the bed.

He sat up, leaning against the bedframe, clutching his head and greedily sipping the water. "Do you—Do you need me to call someone? Are you in pain?"

He shook his head negatively, putting the empty glass back on the table. He motioned for you to come closer, and you gave him a look. 

"We don't both fit on the bed, Bradshaw."

"I don't care. I want you close." He pulls the covers back for you to fit. Damn the butterflies.

You carefully climb onto the bed, curling under his extended arm, and he pulls the covers back.

"You scared me today, Bradshaw. Don't ever do that again." Your voice was stern but soft.

He chuckled. "I don't remember much—doctors told me I have a concussion, not very serious, but I do remember beating the timer and completing the exercise. Something a certain someone couldn't do." You could hear his smirk. For someone who's concussed, he sure talked a lot.

"Fuck off, Roos."

You don't know how much time passes, but your eyes are halfway closed when he speaks again.

"So all it took for you to confess was for me to almost get killed?"

This sentence alone has you wide awake. You shoot up, turning to face Rooster. What the fuck did he say? "How-How much did you hear?"

The fear and anxiety that settles into your stomach are enough to send you into a spiral. You brace yourself for his rejection. Fuck, fuck, fuck, that was such a bad fucking idea.

He casually shrugs. "Enough." He does a poor job containing his smirk.

"A-And?" Your voice shakes.

"Why do you think I wanted to complete the task in the first place?" Your mouth opens to respond, but he cuts you off. "To impress you. I've had a crush on you for God knows how long."

"Really?" Hope sparks inside you.

"Yeah? I mean, haven't you noticed the heart eyes, the extremely funny jokes I throw your way, the overdoing it during training? It was all so you could notice how perfect I am for you." You laugh at the last sentence. 

"You like me back?" You dare ask.

Bradley pulls you in his arms again, his nose burying in your hair as his lips kiss your head over and over again. "I am absolutely infatuated with you, you oblivious little shit."

"Hey!" You protest, and he just laughs.

Did that mean he was finally yours? Holy shit, when you came to visit him, you didn't expect to come out with this big of a win.

"Hey, Blaze?" He asks.

You hum in response. "I love youuuu!"

"Nah, I think it's the painkillers talking," you tease with a smile.

"Shut up."

There's a pause. "I love you too."

Bradley kisses your temple. You've never felt more content.

[ taglist: @roosterschanelslut @maverick-wingman @amnmich @mattyskies @wildcole @gretagerwigsmuse @bespinnn @collaps3r @caldodemazapangourmet @oikawasblueearbud @rip--tide @barryswifey @fanboyluvr @spookys-girl @lonelywitchv2 @j-deimos @heywheresemily @avengersfan25 @piceous21 @sarahjoestewy-blog @n3ssm0nique @mouseymagines @xx-kate-xx13 @vaporub4ever @reading-rosa @marie1115 @dxvanadeline @plaboneruda @awesomebooklover17 ]

[sanest-bsd-delegate]

Metanoia

| meaning: a transformative change of heart. |

headcanon: insecurity was something they made sure went away. Ft Dazai, Ranpo, and Chuuya. Masterlist Please look at the request rules in masterlist before requesting. Hiii guys guess who is back? here is another headcanon since I was quite absent here love you guys

Dazai:

Insecurity: s/o with Vitiligo [disorder that causes patches of skin to lose pigment or color]

Initially, he didn't seem to tell you that your skin was perfect the way it was, but seeing you desperately cover up the duel patch on your skin with makeup, (remind you it wasn't helping much ) just maybe broke him inside.

You were insecure about your skin.

"why belladonna, i love the way your skin creates two parts, and how beautiful it is under the sun shining uniquely unlike others”

He makes sure to complement you every time you come to his view.

Honestly, I could totally see him kiss the light patches on your skin to tell you there was nothing wrong about bearing two colors, so beautiful on your skin.

You would see other people, and would cover your hands in despair of the internal jealously you felt towards them thinking why you had to own such a thing, and why couldn't you look normal like others.

Dazai on the other hand, make sure you don't try cover up your arms as he would take your hands, look at you deep in eyes and silently convey the message of i love you.

He doesn't care wherever you are bet it be a park or café, he would hold your face and run his thumb over the patches and kiss them telling its beautiful.

He would never back down if you wish to have a treatment, after all your happiness meant the world to him.

But he would totally tell you along the lines of "NOO- WHYYY" and "I will miss them, the one on your hand was names Jaiden, I will miss him"

He loves you a lot, and your physical beauty doesn't estimate his love for you.

Ranpo:

Insecurity: s/o who has body dysmorphia

It didn't take late for him to understand the situation you were going through.

"Ranpo do I look Okay??" "You look beautiful as always Y/N"

He doesn't confides you first, but when he starts to see how you would stop eating and over exercising, he was worried.

"Y/N, why aren't you eating? Here have a bite!" "Sorry Ranpo I think am gaining weight" "But you are healthy? Y/N and look perfectly fine!" "I don't know Ranpo, I look weird"

You actually vented all out, from your body dysmorphia to your problems and he listened>>>

You constantly checked if you looked fine, and Ranpo would always come and hug you from behind telling how much you look perfect while placing his head on your neck.

You would be staring at the daily magazine, looking at all models so beautiful and just perfect, and you then would be hearing Ranpo say, “but it doesn't make me love you less, i love for the personality, not for the physique. I will still love u if u turn into a worm"

despite all, he makes sure you eat and stay healthy.

Whenever you feel down, he will make sure you get tons of hugs and playful kisses on cheeks.

Can imagine him whispering all fluff words as he holds you in front of the mirror.

Lowkey thinks he will give butterfly kisses on stomach.

Chuuya:

insecurity: s/o who is insecure about her body hair

Normally, he isn't the one to state or even observe such things with his S/O but oh boy some situations aren't avoidable.

(normalizing the fact you didn't shave or your hair growing hate is high.)

You were casually asking him if the outfit you wore was nice, when you looked at your arms and legs and that dropped your mood.

Now Chuuya didn't wanted to intervene but he asked why did u changed your outfit to which you responded with "Just felt like it"

Later he started to notice how you would try to pick out your forearm hair, and how desperate you were to cover up your legs and trying not to wear shorts despite the fact it was very hot summer in the city.

He asked why you were plucking out hair from skin when your told him you just didn't like your body hair and how you looked weird with it.

"isn't that normal? Your physique doesn't define u"

He is the best person if you want to boost moral confidence.

Actually doesn't mind if you decide to shave, after its your body, and you had the rights to anything you want with it.

He would make sure you don't feel out of place under any circumstances

If you ever pluck out hair, he would remove your hand and then intervene it with yours, indicating the habit wasn't good for you.

"Hey, look its fine, no one here is going to judge just because you own body hair"

his comfort speeches>>>

He gives very good forehead kisses.

hii hope you liked the headcanon....still working on the requests i am getting and received and holy moly i love how you people get the brains to think like that. Sorry if my writing may look a off lately, cause i seriously cant think straight these days. For people who ever or are suffering from any mental or physical disorder, remember your disease doesn't define you, because its your soul which cannot be broken by any means. Find yours because its deep inside you, maybe hidden but never fragile. I think should start giving ted talks

[chiiyuuvv]

Hey~

I was wondering if you'd be able to write how xiker's members would react to y/n being insecure about being very chubby/ very slim (still healthy tho) to the point where y/n would want to change herself (but because she's insecure about how others see her and not because she really want's to) and how the boy's would comfort her, what they'd do etc.

You can choose whether you'd like to do it as a headcanon, imagine or anything else!

Thank you!💚🦊

WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE OVERWEIGHT

• PAIRING — bf!xikers x gn reader (uses some she)

• GENRE — comfort, fluff, i dont think i implied the angst, comfort, comfort, comfort

• WORD COUNT — 758

• AUTHOR'S NOTE — i am so, so, so sorry about the long wait. True was, me and my team had no idea what to write 😭 but after looking up some coping skills, we got to writing. I just wanna say that you are beautiful just the way you are, fuck other people. And if you dont believe me, xikers certainly will ♡

MASTERLIST! – JOIN THE TAGLIST!

MINJAE ☆

Minjae could see on your phone various workout methods that guarantees losing lots of weight in 2 weeks or so

Was a little confused on why you were so interested in that so he decided to comfort you

It broke his heart when you kept calling yourself fat and chubby bc what?? No you arent

And since he knew the workout methods and supplements were a scam, he suggested that you worked out with him

Praises every little thing you do with a big hug and kiss ♡

JUNMIN ☆

Junmin felt a little chubby when he was growing up so he understood how you felt

After researching, he found that setting small goals really helps your mental being

So he decided to do just that

This week, you should at least eat a apple everyday

Next week, you would go for a 30 minute walk

Does everything with you so you dont have to feel alone ♡

SUMIN ☆

He'd be all ears

Hes kinda like minjae too; his baby?? Feeling fat???

But would still let you rant everything out without him interrupting

Wipes away your tears if you start crying

And when you're done, he would go on a rant about how beautiful you are, and even though you dont feel this way right now, you will feel this way in the future ♡

JINSIK  ☆

As soon as you open up to him, hes gone

Then you hear a big crash

Throws away (stomps and slams) your bathroom scale

Along with anything else that triggers you

Then would go on a long rant about how you shouldnt compare yourself to others ♡

HYUNWOO ☆

You told him when you thought he was sleeping because it would be too hard telling him when hes awake

Immediately sits up when you fall asleep, his heart breaking as he rubs your back

And then bolts out of the bed

Spends the next 30 minutes placing sticky notes in random places for you to find, using affirmations like "youre so pretty" or "you are worth it"

And when you see it the next morning you almost break down, hyunwoo restating the note over and over ♡

JUNGHOON ☆

Junghoon feels like hes not good at using his words and would accidentally offend you

So he creates a playlist

You know those body worship songs like i love my body by hwasa or any meghan trainor song?

Hes got them all in one playlist for you to listen too

And he even sings along ♡

SEEUN ☆

Seeun knew you werent one for exercising, so why not some yunmy healthy food to eat?

He knows hes not the best at cooking but he will try

And if not he'd recruit another member

Wont force you to eat all the vegetables but once he does figure out what healthy foods you like to eat. Its over

For dessert, he would hand feed you some fresh fruits ♡

YUJUN ☆

"What, no you arent." Would be yujuns first words but he knows words dont matter actions do

So with lots of kisses, he would drag you to the bathroom

Makes up a self care plan for you to do everyday, teaching you to love your body just like how he loves you

Speaking of love, he looks at you with so much love in his eyes, you feel like melting

And if you let him, he would kiss every part of your body, and pressing extra ones in the places you feel insecure ♡

HUNTER ☆

We all know how hunter journals his emotions just when hes about to go to bed

And so he requests that you do the same

Writing down your feelings makes you feel more connected to yourself, and pinpoints how you started feeling this way

And just like yujun, if you let him, he would kiss all the places where you feel insecure

And cuddles you, whispering in your ear that you are so beautiful and you should not think of yourself that way. And even if you do, hunter would do everything in his power to change your mind ♡

YECHAN ☆

Yechan thought you were joking at first

But his smile immediately drops when he finds out that you werent

Yechan would spend the next few days talking about self acceptance. Making you talk out your feelings and acknowledge your abilities

Would give examples on how this relates to him too, like when he was younger, he thought his rap was terrible

But would reassure you that what youre feeling will not last forever, and that you will see some happier days ♡

[privateanxieties]

to the shadows, we return (part 2 - final)

Summary: After you take an arrow to the chest for Frank, you find yourselves having to discuss the ensuing feelings and coming to a mutual agreement.

Words: 2K; fluff, hurt/comfort, Frank being sweet

Warnings: physical recovery, mentions of weight loss (not ED-related).

Part 1 here

------------------

However glad you are to be alive, there are moments when you think the arrow should've finished the goddamn job; not only because you wouldn't now be enduring the little stabs and jabs of pain all along your chest and shoulder, but also because it would be a lot easier to avoid the unspoken question in Frank's eyes.

Why'd you do it?

It seems ever-present, that inquiry he won't voice. It lingers on the surface each time he looks your way, and that's something he's been doing a lot lately. Actually… He's not so much been looking your way as he's been hovering nearby, adopting what you can best describe as a hands-on approach to your convalescence. You have half a mind to start calling him Nurse Castle just to ease the tension in the air, but something about the care he relentlessly shows always makes the words die on your tongue.

He's so… heart-wrenchingly affectionate. Like he can't think of anywhere else he'd rather be than here, changing your bandages and replacing the damp cloths for your forehead every time the fever returns. Frank is constantly there.

Helping you eat.

Pulling your hair back from your face when you can't manage to keep the food down.

Supporting more than half your weight as you take tentative steps for the first time in a week.

You've never relied on somebody else like this. The funny thing is, you don't even have it in you to complain or outright reject the help. It says a lot about what nearly dying provokes in a person, even (and perhaps especially) one as independent and self-sufficient as you are. At your core, you're exhausted. Being an island is not for the faint of heart, and you're finding out now just how susceptible that flutter in your chest is to kindness.

Frank has nothing to show but kindness. In the hours after Curtis' departure, you thought you were imagining it; you very well could have been, since the delirium was just barely winding down. Sleeping through the night hadn't been an option, both because you were in too much pain and because you had to be woken at fixed intervals to check the state of the infection. Frank — you know this for certain — did not sleep. Much like a sentinel, he was at your bedside, alert and frowning so deeply that you felt compelled to reach out and smooth the creases in his forehead. You're willing to chuck that one up to the fever, though you still can't quite erase the feeling of his skin from your mind. After that, you assumed nothing more would happen and he'd leave you be. But then, there were the other things.

The breathing exercises that he wouldn't let you skip, because the arrow had just barely nicked your pulmonary artery.

The ensuing exhaustion that he countered with a gentle hand as he helped you lie down, massaging your legs to keep the blood flowing while you were on strict bed rest. You said nothing in response, since the pain and dread always knocked you out in less than a minute. Or at least, that's what you told yourself, but your subconscious was of a different opinion as it painted brown eyes and strong arms over a blank canvas.

For the first two days or so, you awoke with his eyes on you and went to sleep with a quiet reassurance that you'd be alright. He must have seen how scared you actually were, because Frank rarely spoke so candidly or vulnerably.

And scared, you are. Just not of dying.

No, you are scared of losing this. Whatever threshold has been crossed since that arrow pierced your chest, you and Frank are not going back to the way things were. Unfortunately, you're not doing so well with identifying what exactly it is that's changed; still, whenever you can muster enough brain power to contemplate this new thing between you, it looks awfully similar to what people do when they're—

"Have you eaten, sweetheart?"

There it is again, that word. It's been falling from his lips in a somewhat steady fashion, now and then replaced by a soft hm that you felt was somewhat forced; like he was stopping himself from saying something else instead. For your part, the word simply washes over you like a wave of calm, and more often than not, you let it. It's only once or twice that your pulse picks up after he says it, and always when he's so close that you can almost feel the warmth of his skin. It's soft. Slow.

Intimate.

"Think you already know…" you mumble teasingly, alluding to him keeping you on a rigorous meal schedule. You've lost weight in the past week, barely able to keep food down for the first half of it.

Frank has done his best to provide better food than you'd usually get in your current living arrangements. He often goes out and returns with a day's worth of meals, and on Saturday he hauled in a new microwave to replace the shitty one you've all been relying on for months. It sticks out like a sore thumb inside the space that you won't deign to call a kitchen. It's also probably the cleanest thing in this whole basement. You shudder.

"Cold?"

Your eyes snap to Frank's as you register his question, but you're surprised to see he's already bringing over a blanket. A smile blooms on your lips, and you're this close to teasing him again when a sharp pain seizes your shoulder. It's the usual one, so whether you expect it or not, it doesn't worry you. Frank, on the other hand…

"I'm okay. Promise," you say quickly, placing a gentle hand on his chest when he sits next to you on the bed. The blanket rests on his lap, and you motion for him to hand it over. You aren't cold, but you've found that Frank's nerves are eased when he has a task to focus on

"Breathin' alright?" he asks lowly, trying to get a look at your face as you're hunching in on yourself to ease the pain. As you suspected, he takes it upon himself to wrap you in the soft wool, another thing that you didn't have just a week ago. He's been bringing in comfort items now and then, half of which you have no idea how he even knew you'd want. It makes your heart ache, and it isn't because it almost got pierced by an arrow. You have to say something, because waiting like this is more uncomfortable than the literal hole in your chest.

"Frank, listen…"

"You'd tell me if you needed a doctor."

It's a question. You know it is, even if he doesn't phrase it as one, and it kills you to hear the doubt in his voice. For a moment, you almost walk back on your intent to clear the air. Frank deserves better than having his intentions questioned, but both of you deserve the truth even more. You need to know what this is.

"I'm really ok," you say, pausing to let another jolt pass. You bite the inside of your cheek briefly. "I just, you know— I want to know what's happening. And I know neither of us likes the speaking in riddles thing, so I'll just ask." The pain currents are easing up from the warmth of the wool. You sigh once they fade entirely. And then it's time to look him in the eyes.

"What are we doing?" you ask, voice as steady as you could make it.

Frank is shockingly cooperative.

"You mean you and me?" His voice comes out rougher than usual, and yet you find it so very soft.

Judging by his expression, it's clear as day that he understands what you meant. However, you're not so sure you're on the same page about what's been happening. What you see and want might be different than what he sees. What he wants.

"We don't have to do anything. It doesn't have to be something. You know I—" He stops then, looking away. He's turned his head so far left that you can't see his expression, but you barely have time to wonder what you're missing before his eyes are back on you. Somehow, they're a bit different. Brighter, but there's pain there now. You don't even flinch this time when your first instinct is to want to take it away.

"My family's gone because of what I did. Yeah? They're gone—"

"Frank—"

"—because of what I know. Who I took orders from. Those people are still out there, and I thought, I thought that there was nothin' else they could do to get—"

You wait. Silently, patiently, you sit there until a tentative crack widens into a gaping chasm.

"I can't do that again. I can't— can't go through that again. Not with you."

It's a mutter that he keeps echoing, but the reverb is all in your chest. You don't know if you can believe what your heart says to believe, because after all, she's a bit tender at the moment. Susceptible to all kinds of trouble. But even your brain is trying to chime in with the most unlikely of outcomes: that Frank is equating your potential death to the one other thing in his life that he barely survived. The one other thing that left him with nothing but blood and rage and a sense of accomplishment he can only achieve when he puts a bullet in someone.

"Can't what? Lose me?" you ask softly.

"That's right." It's so quiet you can barely hear it, but he's holding your gaze steadfast. There's no doubt about his conviction.

A tear escapes unbidden and is wiped from the corner of your eye just as quickly. You sniffle.

"Well, I love you too. So there," you throw out. Despite not having truly cried, you voice sure sounds like it. It's why this time you're the one who avoids looking at him, but this results in not seeing his next move until it's already underway.

It's just a whispered c'mere and a solid chest against your cheek, but it's more than enough. It's a confirmation that you know Frank can't give you, or rather, one he can't give a voice to, for fear of history repeating itself. You aren't hiding out in a bunker because things are going swimmingly, after all. Just over a week ago, you were almost taken out by (posteriorly) friendly fire. Frank isn't taking that risk again; you're more sure of that than you are about the sun rising tomorrow. Until everyone he's hunting is dead and buried — limbs fully attached optional — he won't address this thing between you with any more than an acknowledgement. That's what he's trying to offer you now, as he holds you close and presses a soft kiss into your hair, and then another.

"We'll figure it out," he mumbles, the words sending a shiver down your spine. The promise in them is clear as day.

He's not saying no, you notice. Somehow, there remains a sliver of hope in both of you. Whether that's founded or fanciful, you don't much care. As your eyes get heavier and your breathing evens out, all that's really on your mind is a simple question Frank may or may not answer. You ask anyway.

"What did it, just out of curiosity?"

"Did what?"

"When did you… well."

You snuggle further into him, and his arms carefully tighten around your waist.

"If you mean which of your nonsense got my ass hooked, I ain't tellin'."

You laugh softly, almost trembling with giddiness in his embrace before pressing as close as your wound will allow. You barely resist the urge to burrow your face into his neck.

"It's alright… I'll figure it out," you tell him, smile stretching delicately. "We have time."

-fin-

A/N: A little companion piece to go with the first one-shot, just to wrap things up a little better.

[thecameronchronicles]

December 1st

TW: Smut. Language. Mentions of Masturbation. 

SUMMARY: The trials of No Nut November begin to get the best of you and your boyfriend, Rafe. 

WORD COUNT: 1700

REQUESTED

*TOO MANY COMMENTS AND QUESTIONS SENT IN TO LIST. HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY!

December 1st

He didn’t do it for the money, because God knows he didn’t need it. He did it strictly for bragging rights. The fact he could hold some title aside from the heavy weight of his surname pressuring to crush him at one misstep or one crossword. And yet his decision to partake in ‘No Nut November’ along with Topper, Kelce, and the remaining band of Kooks you had become acquainted with since you’d been dating him, would affect not only him but you. And this was because he demanded the same from you as well. 

‘If I can’t come, you can’t either. Not like you can go anywhere else…’ He teased you as you retaliated in verbiage against him in claiming it wasn’t fair you’d be denied as this was his choice to try and prove some form of masculinity by being able to withdraw his gluttonous need and transcend to some new plane of sel-restriction. But it wasn’t just about him. You were being denied. And because of that, you were more repressed, and even more bratty, than usual. 

The first week was actually rather easy as you almost had fun teasing one another. Flirty glances across the table and further desperations of clawing fingers as you would stand before the floor length mirror fixing any ensemble and feel him wrap around you. But as the first seven days would leave teases in the air and satiations unquelled, they were now crossing into a new line of desperation at the end of that second week as those touches needed more. It showed in each kiss and every touch, lust and love mixing and blurring beneath this need as you were turned against the mirror of the bedroom. 

“I’m gonna fucking explode-” He groaned into you as yoru teeth captured his ear, nibbling on his earlobe just enough to make him feel that tease of pain that sent his eyes into a roll. 

“Nobody has to know, Rafe…” You whined as he took his hands to your waist to stop the grinding motions you were making against him. 

“I will.” He shot back. 

“You don’t even need the money, baby…But we need this…” You ran your hand down his chest, feeling his heart pound beneath your palm until he captured your wrist. 

“It’s about exercising self control-”

You groaned. 

“But Rafe-”

“Don’t be a brat, baby…We’re halfway there.” You were left with this discomfort of needing this release, only to be denied once again. And yet, as you would find the beginning of the third week to pass excruciatingly slowly, you gained somewhat of an idea to try and push his buttons. You did this by veiling yor seductions towards his friends. 

Complimenting them and finding any excuse to touch their arms or thighs, knowing he wouldn’t do anything about it and you could get away with truly anything in this moment. You continued this before slipping away into the shadows of Tannyhill, his steps quick to follow. 

“You trying to make us all lose at once?” He asked with a narrowing of his eyes. 

“I have nothing to lose, Rafe…And I’m getting VERY impatient. If YOU won’t give it to me all for ‘bragging rights’, I’m sure someone else would-”

He caught your arm in the attempt you made to leave. 

“You let anyone else even dance with you tonight and you’ll be sorry.”

“So you keep saying…But you won’t do anything about it for at least another two weeks. So that means two more weeks of you realizing what you’re without… In fact…” As brazen as it was, you pulled your fingers between your lips before setting them between your thighs, taking hold of his shirt until he acted as a cover for your fingering. 

“Oh God…I could come so fast…” You moaned as he apprehended your wrist. 

“I swear TO God if you do anything without me, you’re gonna spend all of December tied to my bed overstimulated and trembling-”

“I don’t believe in -” He kissed you quiet, fingers replacing your own as your hand gripped desperately around his own. 

“Yes, please…Fuck…yes-yes-yes…” You whimpered as he took no prisoners, bending his fingers into that perfect angle to hit THAT spot as you rode his hand. His second came to the back of your neck, kissing your skin, before he came to your lips once again, speaking against them. 

“Feel how good that is baby?”

“Mmmhmm…mmm…”

“You want to feel it ever again and you’re gonna behave-Don’t test me, baby…” He retracted, licking his fingers clean, before returning to his friends, your desperations reaching a fever pitch. And yet, you knew he would make you pay for any disrespect and disobedience. For that, you obliged his request and returned to his side, but doing so with a pout. 

Thanksgiving was a game of traces and teasing as you would be the one to finally retract as he had pulled you into his father’s office between entree and dessert. 

“I don’t fucking care anymore…” He groaned into you, leading your hand to his pants, before you pulled away. 

“I have had to wait three weeks…You can wait another one, can’t you, Rafe? Wasn’t it what you said about self control-” Hh silenced you with a hand to your jaw. 

“The second that fucking clock hits December, you’re gonna get it…”He leaned closer. “And there’s no fucking safe word that can stop what I’m gonna do to you.” You swallowed hard with excitement. 

“Until then…” You teased a kiss and a brush across his cock, before returning to dinner. 

The final hours of November were grueling as you sat in the living room of Tannyhill, flipping through social media to distract yourself from anything but the pulsation between your legs. Meanwhile, Rafe sat across from you, paperwork set on the space before you both, his eyes following the lines made of your fingers as you teased him as they moved beyond your breasts and just at the seam of your panties, visible by wearing only his dress shirt left over from earlier that day, and eventually finalizing at your lips. His eyes flashed to the clock set just over your shoulder. 

Two more hours until he could make good on those threats. But he needed something before hand. And so as you would tease him by biting the pads of your fingers and closing your eyes, he pulled you over his shoulder, a smack to your ass, before leading you to the bedroom. 

“Rafe, it isn’t-”

“Shut the fuck up.” He commanded before tossing you onto your back, a slight bounce made against the mattress, before you were pulled at his hips. He licked his lips, cocking his head, before taking his fingers down between your breasts and teasing your panties. 

“God, they’ve been soaked all month, haven’t they sweetheart?”

“Please…It’s two hours, Rafe!”

“And you’re gonna spend the next two hours paying for the last two weeks specifically…” He would edge you continuously following these words. Pleasure now an echo to what he wouldn’t grant, all while torturing himself in the process by the way your moans hardened him to stone. 

“Rafe, please-” His eyes turned to the direction of the clock, his face stained with your slick as well as his own seat from having consumed you in every possible way, exercising every form of foreplay he could without granting either of you a release. 

“Five minutes-”

“FUCK!” You groaned as he chuckled, preparing himself between your thighs. 

“PLEASE!” You begged with tears in your eyes, your body already in tremors as your mind flashed to the recent moments. His tongue between your folds, his fingers spreading your slick between those same lips, only to suck off his reward from both his fingertips and your clit, and the brutal swipes to your ass as he would use his cock to edge you in further teasing, only penetrating as midnight finally came after the hellish wait. 

“One more time. Real pretty how I like…” He asked, cock at your sex, your hair pulled to where he could look into your eyes as you were angled this way on your stomach. 

“Please, Rafe…Please-” You were thrust forward, belting out in a banshee’s cry as he pulled you back into him. No kindness or caution came from his motions. Where love and passion usually existed became replaced and deafened by your mutual need. 

“I’m gonan come-I’m gonan come-” He groaned as you nodded, his finger to your clit having sent you close via your overstimulated clit as he bit into your shoulder before thrusting harshly into you. But before you could settle with the satisfaction, you were taken onto your back, your knees forced to yoru chest. 

“Rafe-”

“You wanted to play…so fucking play-” He groaned over you, ignoring his own overstimualion as he proceeded to come again. And again. The first hours of December spent chanting your name between curses and your pleas.

“Rafe, I can’t take it anymore-” But to this, you were pulled from the bed and taken to your knees on its edge. 

“I said no safe word. So you’re gonna take it until I’ve had enough. Punishment for your teasing.”

“I’m sorry-”

“Oh you will be. THAT isn’t an empty threat.” He forced his cock between your lips, your tears making his eyes roll into approval, before he had you gagging and gasping, yoru thighs soaked from a mix of your cum, until he pulled you to the edge of the bed at his side. 

“It may be bragging rights for me…but YOU get the trophy…” He took your hand to his shaft, slick and somehow still painfully hard before he took hold of the back of your neck. 

“And you’re gonna wear it proudly for me…” He explained while the final spurts of hot cum now painted your chest, his thumbs tracing it over your nipples and between their existence, before you would be left in the aftermath of repression and final satisfaction. 

“You have one hour. And then you’re making up for Thanksgiving…not to mention teasing my friends…One hour.” He warned before leaving you to bask in the ache he left behind and the thrill of what was still to come…

Taglist: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4starkey @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @obxxrxfes @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @rafesbae @belcalis9503

[lieslab]

Northern attitude

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Changbin X gn reader

Summary: You've been raised to be resilient and unbreakable your whole life, but when the neighborhood stray kitten loses its life in an accident, your walls crumble and you fall apart.

Genre: Comfort/hurt

Word Count: 3K

Trigger warning: Verbal and physical child abuse, animal death, brief mention of animal abuse, PTSD episode, and a dead parent joke.

_ _ _

Stoicism wasn’t something you learned overnight. It was something that grew deep inside of you over time. Every hardship, you met it with a blank face. You took it in a determined stride and kept your dignity intact. 

Growing up with your family was rough. Learning that crying was a weakness instead of a way to get out pent up feelings had done massive amounts of damage. You never let yourself cry. It was the one thing you were always proud of yourself for. 

You didn’t cry, you didn’t break, and you stood tall. You were unreadable when it came to your emotions. You could get told awful news and it didn’t bother you. You taught yourself how to stand with your back straightened and your chin up. 

You taught yourself how to let the current of words flow through you. You never took words to heart or maybe you did. Perhaps you did and you let your heart soak up the words, but you never let yourself grieve. 

To be strong was to be brave and to be brave was perfection. Life was often filled with the echoes of family members and their threats. “You wanna cry? I’ll give you something to cry about.” It was usually met by some type of physical punishment. 

It’s funny how things from childhood fade, but sometimes the past voices never do. Elementary school friendships can become blurry, but the angry words of your father thrown at your face on a random Sunday stick to you like glue. 

It’s hard to experience sympathy for those who didn’t grow up the same way. Sometimes it’s hard to see eye-to-eye with the rest of the world. Sure you grew up difficult and in a mess of a household, but you didn’t cry like a lot of people did. Your habits were set in stone. 

You folded to your father’s wishes. Even as an adult, you didn’t cry. When you broke apart on the inside and crumbled, you didn’t mourn. You buried the grief, along with more dejection, deep in the depths of your heart. 

Your heart was like Pandora’s box. Who knew what awaited for the person that opened it. You didn’t think too much about it. Eventually, those inner demons would fade away and you’d busy yourself with other things. 

Bury yourself in mountains of work or go out to exercise. Sprint on a treadmill until your calves are on fire or lift weights until your muscles scream. It always managed to do the trick. 

In fact, it worked a little too well. In a matter of months, you whipped yourself into the best shape of your life. The gym was where you met your boyfriend. You had never met anyone quite like Changbin before. 

Changbin didn’t run away from his emotions. He allowed himself to feel what he felt and he allowed himself to sit in them and experience them. Similar to you, sometimes he let them fuel him at the gym.

He did a lot more than that though. Sometimes he placed them into his music or threw them into dancing. You admired him for that. There was so much to Seo Changbin that you didn’t quite understand. 

It’s not like you didn’t sympathize with him, you did. All the times he came home upset or something happened and he got sad, you couldn’t understand why he allowed himself to cry. 

If your father would have raised Changbin, his tears would have been beaten out of him. How many times would he have been spanked with a wooden board until his tears dried? How many belt whips would it have taken before his body felt numb?

“No child of mine will grow up to be a sissy.” 

You didn’t know how to comfort someone crying. You were raised as an only child, so you didn’t have a choice amongst your childhood grief. Not even your mother was there to coddle you and wipe away the remainders of tears from your cheeks. 

Every time Changbin cried, you stood beside him awkwardly patting his shoulder. It wasn’t something someone had taught you. You always dealt with your emotions by yourself. It was so unfamiliar and foreign; the warmth of Changbin’s salty tears on your chest. 

When he grabbed you and cried into your chest, you let him. All you could do was wrap your arms around him and let him grieve. You never got to experience how he comforted you because you never cried around him. 

You laughed and you smiled. You openly experienced your happiness, but you locked your sadness away. Every time he poked around asking about it, you changed the topic. It was something you didn’t like to talk about; the only topic you flat out refused to discuss. 

However, lately things had been shifting in your life. It started with your co-worker being fired from their job. You were close to them, so it was difficult to come to work without their upbeat attitude. 

The wave of destruction continued with another friend of yours. After a freak accident while out on a hike, they were killed. It crushed your heart, but you continued to stay strong. You had to be, it’s what your father told you and it’s what your mother agreed upon. 

Your heartstrings were stretching thin. How much could they stretch before they broke and your heart shattered in your chest? How much more grief could you swallow before your glass lungs cracked? 

It all came to a stand still in the middle of the week. You had just returned home from the pet store with two small glass dishes and a collar. One bowl was for water and the other was for kitten food. After doing hours of research, you decided to somewhat adopt the newest neighborhood stranger. 

A tiny gray kitten had been abandoned by someone. As much as you wanted to bring it inside, you couldn’t, not with Changbin’s cat allergies. His company needed him to be in tip-top shape for rapping and singing. A kitten in the house would destroy that and make him miserable. 

You opted to take care of the kitten outside on your own terms. You played with it, you pet it, and you fed and watered it. After you messed with him, you changed your clothes, dropped them into a separate hamper to wash them without Changbin’s clothes, and you took a shower. When he kept coming back to your backyard, you decided to claim him as your own. 

The sky blue collar was going to go great with his fur coat. You even got a tag with your phone number on it in case someone wanted to know more about him. You had even picked out a name for him. 

You were so excited to share your purchases with Changbin. He was so happy to have the kitten, even if he couldn’t interact with him. A few nights ago, he opened up the back door and watched you play with the cat through the screen door. 

You were grinning and laughing while you teased the cat with a stick. The small kitten kept batting his tiny paws and trying to catch it. Right when he was about to, you jerked the stick just out of reach.

Behind you, Changbin’s affectionate laugh filled the air. It delighted you for nearly an hour. The two of you were smitten with the kitten. It had been the highlight of every evening for the past two weeks. 

It all came to a tragic end as you stopped your car a few feet before your driveway. The tiny gray kitten you opened your heart to sat in the middle of the road unmoving. You parked your car and got out as fast as you could, but it was too late. Someone had run over the kitten and drove away. 

You stared at the dead kitten in shock. The stars had fallen from the sky. The sun wasn’t shining anymore, despite its rays piercing the sky from above your head. You sucked in a defeated breath and trudged back to your car with your head down. 

Cats used to be the thing your father couldn’t stand. He hated animals with a burning passion. He was stronger than them and he used that to his advantage. The last pet you had as a kid, your mother got rid of because she found your father kicking it around the house. 

You pulled into the driveway, but you didn’t get out. Tears burned in your eyes and you blinked rapidly. The smell of the cigarettes that your father used invaded your nose. Your fingers curled into your palms. 

His voice began to echo in your head. You could still feel the stings from where items bit into your skin. The nip of a cold belt buckle in the middle of your spine. The lash of an angry board on the back of your thighs. 

Your head curled into the steering wheel. Your brain was remembering everything. Your hands shielded your head, but that didn’t stop the flashbacks. It didn’t stop fight or flight from activating and it didn’t stop the feeling of failure weighing heavily on you as tears crept into your eyes. 

Everything was slipping through your fingers and falling out of control. The metal rails of strength that you cemented inside of yourself were rumbling. The kitten was the spark that lit the fuse inside of you. 

You could feel the catastrophe igniting every bone. Your brain screamed at you. All you remember was plugging your ears and letting out your own scream as your father’s voice echoed in your head. 

The past constricted around you like a snake. You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t do anything, but scream and hope it went away. 

The next thing you knew, your car door was being ripped open. The sudden force shifted your arm that was against the driver’s side window. You jerked your hands from your ears and swung frantically trying to keep the person away. 

“Woah, woah, woah!” Changbin cried out. He stepped back and jerked his hands away with wide eyes. “What’s going on?” 

“Changbin?” You choked out. 

“I’m right here. What’s wrong, baby? Are you okay?” 

He must not have seen the kitten yet. The dead kitten. The memory of its small body sprawled out limp on the pavement caused tears to build up again. Did it die instantly? Was the grim reaper merciful when it came to the innocent and defenseless creatures?

A choked out sob fell from your lips. Changbin watched you with worry. The two of you dated for months and not once had he seen you cry, let alone break down like this. 

“Oh, what happened? What happened, baby? Talk to me.” He leaned back towards the car and gently placed a hand on your thigh. 

“Don’t fucking touch me!” You snapped as you shoved his hand away. 

He jerked it back instantly with a hurt look. The moment you saw it, you couldn’t stop the tears from dripping down your cheeks. “I-I’m sorry, just don’t hurt me. Please, I’m sorry, I’ll stop crying.” 

Frantically, you pawed at your own tears. It felt like someone took a baseball bat to his heart. That was the worst thing you could have said. Your actions afterwards caused his heart to physically ache. 

He didn’t know for sure, but he always had a feeling that you might have gone through some type of abuse as a kid. There were certain ways you reacted to things. You turned your face away at harrowing news and refused to let it bother you. You stiffened when he held his arms out for a hug. You flinched at loud noises and nobody he knew acted like that unless they experienced some sort of trauma. 

“Can I touch you? I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to comfort you.” 

You sniffled and shrugged. You weren’t sure what you wanted when you were like this. It was still unfamiliar and made you feel uneasy. 

“Can I hug you?” 

You responded with a nod and Changbin tugged you into his arms gently. In your neighborhood, it was a miracle that everyone else was inside. Surely, someone would have come to investigate if they saw you like this. 

“What’s wrong?” He reached up and carefully wiped away your tears with the warmth of his thumb. 

“T-The kitten,” you got out, “s-someone h-hit-” You couldn’t finish your sentence. The words became too choked up in your throat. 

Changbin’s face fell. You didn’t have to finish the sentence, he already understood what you meant. “I’m so sorry.” 

“And my friend, they’re dead. M-My other friend, they’re not-” Tears blurred your vision, but Changbin kept dabbing at them with his hands. 

“I know, I know. Life can be hard sometimes, right? You’re really going through hell right now. I can’t fix it entirely, but I can be here for you. I’ll be here as long as you want me to be.” 

“You’re not mad at me for crying?” 

“I could never be mad at you for crying! I always cry! I’m one of the biggest cry babies out there. There’s nothing wrong with crying and being vulnerable.” 

“My dad said it makes you weak.” 

“Well, no offense, but he sounds like a dick. Crying is so brave and it makes you so strong.” He wiped away a few more tears. “I bet you feel so much better now that you cried, right?”

You nodded.  

“See? There’s nothing wrong with crying every now and then. The best people cry sometimes.” 

“Like you?” 

“Well, I was going to say like Felix. He’s sensitive and he cries a lot, but I love him. You’re allowed to be sensitive too. It doesn’t change my love for you.” 

“I don’t know how I feel about crying.” Another sniffle fell from you. Shockingly, you really did feel better. All those pent up emotions trapped inside you had finally been released. 

“When was the last time you cried?” 

All you could do was shrug your shoulders. Changbin reached over, kissed your forehead, and pulled away. “It’s probably been years,” you finally admitted. “My dad used to beat me for crying.” 

“Is it wrong to beat him up for beating you?” 

“He’s dead now, so unless you have plans to beat up a canister of ashes.” 

A half snort and half laugh spurted from his mouth. He quickly shoved a hand over his face. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.” 

“It’s alright, he was an asshole anyway.” 

Changbin let out a sigh and nodded. His hand found yours and he squeezed it. “Really though, it’s shitty you had to go through that. I’m sorry life has been such an asshole to you lately too.” 

“I’m sure I’ll get over it, but it hurts.” 

“Yes, but there’s nothing wrong with grieving.” He swiped a thumb beneath your eyes to gather the last tears. “There’s nothing wrong with experiencing this sadness for a while. You can mourn the things you once had.” 

“Thank you,” you finally got out. 

“For what?” 

“Not beating me until I can’t sit on my ass for crying.” 

“Hey, I would never do that! The only thing you’re going to get from me is waddling because we fu-” 

“Changbin!” You cut him off while laughing. 

He grinned at the sight of your eyes scrunching up. The corners of your mouth went up into a smile. He let out one of his own laughs. You shook your head and playfully rolled your eyes. 

When the laughing died down, the two of you were left in silence again. You dropped your gaze down and spoke up. “I really am going to miss that kitten though. I didn’t know him for long, but I loved him. I love cats.” 

Changbin paused for a moment before his face lit up. “I have a great idea. Let me just text Lee Know real quick.” He jerked out his phone and began to frantically text. 

“Lee Know?” 

“Yeah, you know, my band member.” 

“I know that, but why?” 

“He has three cats. You can go hang out with him and play with his cats. Trust me, he won’t mind.” 

“I don’t want to invade his space.” 

“He loves to talk about them like they’re his kids. This will give him a chance to brag about them. Plus, they stay at his parents house, so you’ll be able to meet his parents too.” 

“Okay, but what about you?” 

“I’ll come with you.” 

“You’re allergic to cats,” you pointed out. 

“Well, yeah, but it’s Soonie, Doongie, and Dori. They’re practically celebrities. One minor allergic reaction is worth it to pet them. Plus, Lee Know’s mom makes really good food.” 

“I still don’t think it’s a good id-” 

“Start the car, baby! Minho said we could come over!” He gleefully giggled as he rushed to the other side of the car and climbed in. “I’ll give you the directions! Let’s go!” His loud voice raised the energy in the car. He rushed to buckle his seat belt. 

You hesitated until he urgently insisted you to go again. You sighed, but did what you were told. Changbin pulled out his phone and began texting again while he bounced up and down. 

The studio wasn’t that far away. He’d have Chan and a few of the other guys come bury the kitten with stuff from the garage. Later, he could help you set up a memorial for the tiny kitten who left a big imprint on your heart. For now, he was just happy to see you smile at his infectious energy.

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

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[nana-kom]

Hiiii 🥰 it’s been a long time since I write something right ? But I was feeling very inspired today, so this is my first seventeen fic, i hope you’ll enjoy 🥺

This is a weight gain fic, this contain feedism and weight gain.

Enjoy 💜

The bet

It had been weeks since everyone had been preparing for their new comeback, and everyone was making an effort, every day to rehearse, train and, worst of all, watch their diet in order to lose weight before the first performances. And this aspect of the comeback was what drove the members to despair one by one, and the worst of it was that all but one were paying attention. Indeed, Seungcheol knew very well that he didn't have to diet like the others or be careful, because most of the things he ate he was able to eliminate by exercising or simply turning them into muscle. And that's what the members were jealous of: he ate to his heart's content and in the end he managed to keep a slim figure, and on top of that he was so muscular. They all found it hard to watch him eat and even nibble from time to time, while they were sadly content with the minimum.

Just like this morning, when Jeonghan woke up, he joined Seungcheol who was already in the kitchen eating a rather large breakfast, consisting of two eggs and rice with a protein shake and some small side dishes. He then rolled his eyes and went to sit down next to him, taking some food himself, but saying nothing, then it was Soon-young’s turn to join them for the breakfast like usual. And when he saw his friend's breakfast, he frowned, this time really fed up with seeing him eat so much in front of them.

"It's not fair that you're not in diet !" he then said.

"You're just jealous!" bounced seungcheol, taking another big spoonful of rice.

"Yeah, totally..." added Jeonghan, looking down at his glass of water.

"We can't all have perfect metabolisms," said seungcheol, laughing lightly.

"Yeah, well, it's sport that helps you most of all...considering how you eat..." replied Soon-young in turn.

"You know what ? I'm sure I could double all my quantities and I wouldn't gain a pound !" Jeonghan straightened up in surprise, then met Soon Young's gaze and they smiled at the same time.

"So let's bet! You double all the quantities until the comeback and if you win you'll have proved us wrong, and if you lose, you'll admit that your metabolism isn't so perfect." seungcheol hesitated for a moment then shook hoshi's hand.

"Deal!"

The two men left him to enjoy his last day, waiting patiently for the next day to take care of his case. Seungcheol finished his day quietly, eating well and going to the gym, then falling asleep peacefully in the evening knowing that he'd already won. What he didn't know was that his two friends were really motivated to make him lose. When he got up the next morning, he went to the kitchen, sawing his friends starting to prepare his breakfast. These two friends had a good idea in mind : instead of letting him cook as usual, they would began to prepare his breakfast. Turning his usual meal into : two rices plates, four eggs and two protein shakes, while adding a few nibbles on the side. And they kept an eye on him to make sure he didn't cheat. Seungcheol didn't let himself be disturbed, however, and started to eat, taking his eggs as usual and quietly eating his breakfast. Despite everything, he was starting to feel the difference in his belly, he had the impression of already feeling full even though he hadn't eaten half of it, but he didn't intend to lose out and finished the rest. He also drank his first protein shake in its entirety, then kept the second to accompany him to the gym. On the way, he could feel his belly swelling, but he knew his body would get rid of it quickly, and he intended to win by following all the rules. At the end of his workout, instead of a glass of water, he started his second drink and took cereal bars as usual, doubling the quantity. This exercise continued for the rest of the day, and at lunchtime in the cafeteria, the other members served him not one but two heaping trays to complete the challenge he'd accepted the day before. He looked at the two and swallowed, everything still seemed a lot and he'd agreed to double the quantities but not the workouts, but it was only the first day, he knew his body would get used to it. He then finished both trays and let out a big sigh this time, feeling really full. Even though he had a big appetite, he wasn't used to eating so much. For their part, Jeonghan and Hoshi were enjoying the view and looking forward to winning, as they would make sure things didn't turn out the way Seungcheol had planned.

Back at the dormitory in the evening, Seungcheol was in the habit of eating light or ordering food from time to time. He was surprised when he came across the members eating at the table, and in his place there were two boxes of pizza waiting for him.

"What's this?"he asks

"Pizzas ? We thought you might be hungry on the way home..." then said Jeonghan playing innocent.

"I see what you're trying to do...it won't work!"

He then sat down in his place, opened the pizza box and began to chew it, smiling as he looked at the two men in front of him, tasting the first pizza with pleasure and taunting them for being able to enjoy something fatty when they were content with a salad. But the two men weren't touched by his behavior. When he started on the second pizza, it was harder to swallow: he could feel his belly already starting to pull, and everything he'd eaten during the day was already weighing down. He then unbuttoned his pants to make room and finished his pizza as best he could before resting his back against the back of the chair and rubbing his belly, trying to digest calmly, and inflating his stomach to make room. At this point, Jeonghan got up to fetch a tub of ice cream from the fridge and moved closer to him.

"you're having ice cream at night aren't you?"

"I'm...full...I...can't..."

"So you're losing already?"

"I don't even have the strength to...move the..."

"We'll help you hyung, don't worry..." added Soon Young from behind.

Jeonghan then opened the ice cream tub and began to feed it to his leader, who couldn't refuse. He felt heavy and full, yet his pride told him to carry on. He felt as if his belly was going to explode, and that he'd never be able to finish, yet he suddenly felt Soon Young's hands start to gently massage his belly as Jeonghan fed him. He was a little disturbed, but at the same time, the sensation of having food in his mouth while someone else was gently massaging his belly wasn't unpleasant - quite the contrary... he could even get used to it...

And so it was, for the rest of the week. He'd leave in the morning full of breakfast, with his two drinks with him, then at lunchtime, he'd eat at the agency with his two trays carefully prepared by the members, then in the evening, he'd find himself in this sort of feeding session with his two friends, who took care of feeding him and relieving him of all that food. However, to everyone's disappointment, after a week he hadn't put on much weight, and they even began to wonder if his body was as miraculous as all that. And between his sports sessions and the choreography rehearsals, he was also spending more than expected. It was then that Jeonghan decided to change the rules, transforming the two protein shakes into weight gain shakes...only to make the bet a little fairer...and nobody needed to know, right ?

And halfway through the second week, Seungcheol was surprised to discover that his T-shirt was too small. He pulled at it as hard as he could, but nothing helped: his belly was sticking out. He then went to look in the mirror and was surprised to see his reflection: his weight gain was slight but visible. He bit his lip as he looked at his muscular arms, where the fat was beginning to show and jiggle when he moved. His belly was much more swollen than before, and a light layer of fat was appearing, while the fat on his buttocks was more than noticeable. But the bet was not lost after all? He still had three weeks to go, and nothing to lose in the process. So he put on a much larger sweatshirt and a pair of jogging shorts he was sure he'd fit into, and found his two friends, as usual, preparing food for him...they're really motivated...he thought.

What he also found different as the days went by was that the proportions kept increasing so that he felt full enough to go to work. Although the bet was to double the quantities, he found himself hungry from time to time and started adding different snacks to his diet. And also sometimes instead of going to eat in the cafeteria, he went to fast-food restaurant, or just restaurants, sometimes even all-you-can-eat buffets. What he hadn't counted on was that, on top of all the food he was eating, his stomach was also demanding more and more. And with so much to eat, there was an addictive side to going on and on. To get a nice rub from his members, to be offered the chance to finish the dishes, to find himself tired enough to go to the gym, and to spend one of his days doing nothing but letting his friends pamper him, feeding, massaging, feeding again, and yet still having this hunger inside him that continued to grow.

By the end of the third week, his body had definitely changed, and this was thanks to what Hoshi and Jeonghan had added to his diet, so that calories would accumulate more easily. One morning, they were surprised when Seungcheol didn't come out of his room as usual and, intrigued, Jeonghan decided to go and see him. Jeonghan knocked on Seungcheol's door and went inside. He was surprised to find the leader still asleep, with his belly exposed and about twenty empty snacks beside his bed. He smiled as he looked at his friend - he'd really got him hooked, hadn't he? He then passed his eyes over his admiring body, their masterpiece. His belly, which had been slim and muscular three weeks earlier, had turned into a fatty covering with bulges that were now visible, his thighs were much wider and fattier than before, not to mention his new breasts, which were apparent. Oh yes, he had changed, he was no longer the muscular man of a few weeks ago, and it was all thanks to his friends who had made it a point of honor to feed him like the little pig he was deep down. Jeonghan then walked over to the bed, and sat down beside him, gently caressing his face and taking the opportunity to feel his soft cheeks against his hand, and his double chin now part of his face, having totally obliterated his well-defined jaw. Maybe his metabolism had been fast enough to make him lose weight before, but with this new diet his body knew how to pile on the pounds easily.

"hyung...your breakfast is ready!" then said Jeonghan gently and Seungcheol woke up and smiled softly, thanking him.

He then began to sit up but realized that his stomach was preventing him from sitting up, wasn't he supposed to have abs? He wondered, and then Jeonghan took his hands to help him sit up, taking the opportunity to kneel down and gently caress his belly, which was now resting on his legs.

"Are you going to admit you lost?" then said jeonghan, looking up.

"No...well....I haven't finished the bet yet..."

"But there's one piece of evidence you can't hide any longer." he said as he straightened up and caressed his new curved hide of his body, until seunghceol's belly suddenly began to rumble and jeonghan smiled. "well..let's move on you must be hungry little piggy..."

"I'm not..."

"No, of course not...not yet..."

The days continued to pass, and what should have been evidence for Seungcheol was not, and he would not admit defeat. How could he have lost so miserably? He'd lost to his friends in what should have been an easy challenge, and all he'd gained was weight, and he loved it. Seeing his body get fatter and fatter, greedier and even hornier at the mere thought of getting fatter and fatter, being able to gorge himself all day long and, above all, having his friends encourage his behavior was like a kind of paradise, and he'd largely lost himself in it. For not only had he still managed to make the comeback, but once he'd finished, he'd lost himself in the food again, eating meal after meal, taking larger portions than the others and barely feeling full. And he liked it that way, his body was far from what it had been, as if he'd become the opposite of himself, but he liked himself even more that way. That day, he was sitting on the sofa, having just finished eating a menu designed for four people and trying to massage his stomach in the absence of his friends. He was wearing a T-shirt that was far too small for him, and wearing pants would have been pointless given his condition, and was calmly digesting his meal. His body was sinking into the sofa and his belly would soon fall between his legs; he'd been surprised to discover that a new roll had formed from his belly fat, and he liked it even more. When he was almost in a food-coma, he heard the door open and his two friends arrived with food in their hands.

"We bought you food!" said Soon Young. "oh...you started without us...greedy boy..."

"It was just a little snack..." he said, returning his gaze wondering what was in the bags he was holding.

"Greedy and on top of his lying...if you want to see the contents of his bags you'd better be honest, big boy!" said Jeonghan sitting beside him stroking his belly.

"I was just hungry...this big belly need to be fed..."

"I thought you could double the quantities of your meals without gaining a single gram hyung..." said Soon Young then, this time wanting him to admit defeat.

"I...I...thats because..."

"You're a greedy pig?"

" Y..yeah...and...I need food... "

" Of course you need it...and we are here to take good care of our favorite leader... "

"Thats why I think we should bet more often... "