#and how they shouldnt be using the word system or whatever .

[melto]

something just like snapped in the back of my head like i Need to go like curl up in my room for like 5 days and play video games and not speak to like anyone

[dyketubbo]

girl help my silly post that got some attention not only has a typo but has also found its way on a blog of someone whose ideologies i fundamentally disagree with

[toastsnaffler]

man. getting a little sick of being everyones 15th option for everything. when is it my turn to be someone's first choice :^[

[kienansidhe]

the thing is for a long long time i did subscribe to the idea that transfems have it the worst of all of us and that transmascs do have systemic power over transfems, and im still not sure i dont believe it? however.

the transandrophobia/transmisandry/whatever you wanna call it blogs that i follow specifically clarify over and over and over that they are not trying to say transmisogyny doesnt exist, or to make it a contest of whos most oppressed, or to say trans women have systemic power over trans men, or anything of the sort, they have made that disclaimer so many times and yet over the years i have seen that making that disclaimer does not help.

if transmascs speak up abt transphobia, we are bombarded with harassment and willful misinterpretation of our words. no matter how many disclaimers, no matter how much we keep the conversation to our own posts, no matter how many steps we take to avoid taking space away from transfems, we still get these accusations of transmisogyny, just for talking about our own lived experiences.

we shouldnt have to grovel and beg other queer people to allow us to talk about the oppression we experience. we shouldnt have to couch it in 500 disclaimers, and even when we do people try to silence us.

im absolutely not blaming this on transfems, btw. many of the most supportive ppl on this site who boost transmasc voices are transfems who are incredibly kind and wonderful and smart people. the transfems who are radfemmy and separatist are not any more representative of transfems in general than the transmascs who are radfemmy and separatist are representative of transmascs in general. i suspect most of the problem are cis ppl. i know many are fellow transmascs who either pass and dont experience the problems most of us face, or else have been taught that in order to be good allies to transfems they have to disavow their siblings who are still fighting to be heard, like its a zero sum game and they have to pick sides.

maybe transfems do have it unequivocally worse, full stop. im not rlly that smart or good at interpreting data and different people tell me different things and if i think too much abt it i start spiraling. but i dont like that so many people on this site take transmascs talking abt our struggles as an inherent attack on transfems. thats that part i rlly dont understand. thats why i keep asking why we cant just get along. why cant these discussions happen in parallel?

if someone tells me transfems have it worse, sure, that doesnt bother me to accept and be aware of and take into consideration in how i live my life. but when people tell me transfems have it worse, therefore transmascs should shut up? thats incomprehensible to me. thats just transphobia.

[magniloquent-raven]

so. yknow how water-based lube can get all tacky pretty quick but you can make it slick again with a lil spit

got me thinking about billy being. billy lmao.

like, him and steve are jerking off together as platonic bro pals because it's fine if they don't make eye contact and they're watching heterosexual porn okay, it doesnt matter that steve is more focused on the breathy little grunts directly to his left than the ecstatic wailing crackling through his tv's shitty speakers, or that billy has spread his knees far enough that their thighs are touching, or that his elbow keeps brushing steve's side and it's a shock to his system every time. it's. it's fine. him and tommy used to do this all the time. and it only got weird like...once or twice.

but anyways. steve's been using some low-quality watery lube he pocketed at a pharmacy because he couldn't bear to look the cashier in the eye and pay actual money for this, and billy side-eyed him when he pulled it out of his nightstand. "too good to use vaseline like the rest of us, king steve?" because of course he did, but it's fine, it's whatever, he likes the way it feels okay?

except it gets sticky so fast and he keeps having to reapply which. is annoying. but. but then.

he's reaching blindly for the bottle when billy grabs his wrist, grabs him, with the hand that was just on his dick. stops him from picking up the bottle with an annoyed huff, like steve's the one who's done something here. and steve's got his mouth open, words on the tip of his tongue, incredulous words, anxious words, caught in his throat with his laboured breath when billy turns towards him—all flushed cheeks and dark eyes, sweat gleaming on his chest, his pants undone and, oh god steve shouldnt have looked—

and billy. spits. on his dick.

his fingers are a vice around steve's wrist, their knees brush, eyes locked, and the girl on screen moans, long and loud, as billy's saliva dribbles down the flushed, sensitive skin of steve's cock.

"try it now," billy says, unmoving, not looking away.

and steve. pauses. slowly, hesitantly, wraps a hand around himself. and.

he gives an experimental stroke, keenly aware of billy's eyes burning into him.

oh.

huh.

that's...

he keeps going, spurred on by the way billy's grip on his arm tightens, by the coiled heat in his gut, by the tingle at the base of his spine and the knowledge of what exactly he's feeling, wet and slick against his palm. his head falls back, eyes closed, he's closer than he should be, not a single coherent thought in his head beyond a burning need and the image of billy's tongue running slowly along his bottom lip.

he finishes, making a mess of his stomach with a pitiful little sound caught in his chest.

billy hasn't moved a muscle. and steve. steve thinks maybe they should make things weird more often.

tag list ppl i swear imma post something other than porny rambling soon (probably) lmfaofjfjdk @spreckle @growup-thatbeautiful @prettyboy-like-you @suddenlyinlove 💕

[st-just]

I have a bit of a question here with a probably long answer but you reblogged a post a while ago about ttrpg culture that linked another post and I was really curious why it is people say you cant or shouldnt hack 5e into a sci-fi campaign. I did it just fine with little effort outside of the usual task of building out a world (or several in this case) for it. Granted its essentially spelljammer meets shadowrun but thats still sci-fi enough to have been told time and again by people online that it cannot work

Like I get starfinder exists but im really comfortable in 5e and overall I find starfinder, like pathfinder, relies on a lot of modifiers for rolls, where 5e's math is simpler overall since there are less floating modifiers to calculate, and most importantly my players didnt want to learn a new system since a few of them have trouble committing all the rules to memory and JUST picked up 5e for our other campaign.

Overall people always act like it could never work and theres never any reason to try, even in situations like this i should have just slapped my players with my starfinder book instead of just changing up how a some of the spells work, and the campaign was great, so why is it that people are so insistent on not even trying to do it?

re

So I've never actually played/looked at Starfinder, but to the extent it's 'Pathfinder IN SPAAAACE' it's, like, possibly the single worst possible suggestion to give someone when you're trying to explain the benefits of a non-D&D system, so not sure what the people who say that stuff are really talking about. (Even saying pathfinder/starfinder isn't D&D seems like useless pedantry to me. It's all just Edition 3.75 but with a third party publisher)

But to actually answer the point - there's no problem at all hacking D&D 5e to run Sci Fi instead of Fantasy - the difference is basically set dressing and aesthetics and renaming all the magic stuff. But the sci fi it's good at is still very distinctly D&D sci fi - a zero-to-hero adventure series where the challenges and obstacles the heroes face are primarily expressed in terms of physical harm and danger, and which are primarily defeated through small-scale violence between the protagonists and their opponents.

Like, if you're willing to squint about character classes and whatever, D&D can do something like Mass Effect fine. It would really, really struggle to do Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. (Or I mean, you could do Duet or By Pale Moonlight as D&D sessions, but they would be roughly 90% freeform roleplay with a few die rolls thrown in here and there to keep up appearances. At which point why did you spend an hour doing all the math for character creation in the first place?)

Honestly I think a decent chunk of the rhetoric around this is kind of cartoonishly vitriolic and pretty unbecoming, but it is kind of painful to try and hack at the thing to tell stories it's not at all suited for (if you're not looking for power fantasy pulpy heroic tactical violence, don't use the game that spends 90% of its word count on that!).

(The other thing is that D&D very much relies on the players as acting as independent agents - if you're character isn't someone who solves problems by personally charging into danger, and whose primary problem solving toolkit can be expressed in terms of tactical violence, they just don't really work as a D&D character.)

...sorry, it's pretty late and I'm rambling. Hopefully I understood what you were getting at?

[hollylachat]

mole game 01

today is february the first,

i am the most motivated person in the world right now i am literally god, i am having a prophetic episode and everyone is my pawns

i am going to learn the unity game engine as one with such an overload of emotions and a psychotic mind would do. I believe the best therapy is to just give urself work and convince yourself it is actually really fun.

why do i want to learn a game engine, because i want to make a game, for gaming. I'm a bit of a prophet gamer, like a holy spirit that makes video games for all the poor peasants

I have chosen unity game engine because the internet is made for gnomes, and im not picking no engine made and spread around for gnomes, im no gnome. I will rip out all of my body hair if someone tells me to try out gadot game engine, i shouldnt even be hearing those words, just make it easier for me, im a beginner how do you expect me to learn on that shit.

the internet makes things so much harder for me to learn this shit, makes it impossible to know who to trust, youtube does not help, ive tried in the past to learn but youtube video tutorials do not help in the slightest, ill just find my brain going into college lecture mode and just write down code and not even understand anything

unity docs are also chronically impossible to read, its like a different language, its like they thought that they needed to restate all their type functions and shit in their docs and not say anything about what they do besides what they output or something, even though you already get this information from your IDE.

you can scrub over here, rant is over ill get into what I have done

i followed game makers toolkit tutorial for unity which idk if i should be like embarassed to mention considering my distaste my tutorial videos, i dislike this video for like spending alot of time explaining what code does like as if someone who doesnt know c-sharp at all isnt going to have like a really hard time after watching the video. but its like mildly encouraging to learn on your own and find your own problems and whatnot to work on.

I made the dumb flappy bird clone and made like a pencil character and like some book assets which was probably the fun part, really cool seeing your own art be in a video game.

here is flazzyjohn completely preserved as a gif on the tumblr servers

the only two things i even bothered to do after doin all the shit in his video is make the wing sprite change when pressing the space key and like that sucked, unity animation system looks like its going to be something that i will hate the more i use it, and i made it to where when the walls/books spawn they like randomly choose what sprite they are out of the 3 book sprites i made

brackeys unity videos which people seem to praise in the youtube comment sections really feel like dumbbed down youtube content in the meanest way possible, i refuse to accept that the answer to my problem is that you used a function that you made in a different video and actually i should watch that, just flash the code on the screen or something, its literally not worth my time

ok now i will exclaim my prophetic invision for my incredibily intricate first real game that i will burn out on sooner or later, you cannot convince me otherwise

either that or ill backout and make a snake clone or something

BUT then ill work on it

I want to make a 3d game, i know dumb, it would be like shitty low poly if that rationalizes it in anyway (it doesnt).

I have one idea that im kinda hyperfocusing on right now thats really simple but really complex and already hyper engineered in my head.

im imagining like a really dumbed down mining game wit like gumdrop-shaped moles with big handheld drills

(ignore the chibi robo they wont be in the game)

so ur this little mole guy and theres like a mole city wit like people to talk to or whatever (they would exist just to give u fetch quests and dumb dialogue) and the fetch quests would consist of going down the big elevator in the center and heading into the ever changing mines or something lore something lore

made this ms paint drawing for a friend in a jiffy

the like splotches of colored areas is supposed to be what minerals looks like on a map you recieve everytime you go into the mines, its always the same level, it just resets through like shifting rock or something, thats why there will be a time limit of like 2 minutes or something idk to grab ur shit and get out.

the map would be start out like one of those like lottery ticket scratch off things, and u gotta scratch it off like really fast.

i guess like the point is to like implement alot of weird stuff to do on the map that takes up your time inside the mine, since the main game concept is kinda simple

a sense of progression could be implemented through items given by the npc's that let you do more weird stuff with your map, like reveal hidden minerals and shit

i got like two ideas rn:

ones just like a pencil that you have to hold down and wait for your mole character to draw out a line to where you currently are, because the map wouldnt like show where you are.

another where you have like a limited use item where you could put like magnetic dust that sticks to a certain part of the map that would tell u where a secret mineral is or somethin.

im thinkin like this can only work in a 3d game for like selfish and learning reasons, i have like a few inspirations to go off of too

i had to play like 30 minutes of this game for like screenshots but like this shit, fairly oddparents shadow showdown encapsulates the gamecube era of games, i also played way too much of it like 3 years ago because i thought it would be fun to speedrun and wasted alot of time on it. Mostly just taking inspiration from the incredibly simple icons and text boxes.

Woooo i lovwe animal crossing i love making fake relationships with animal people, growing up with animal crossing did not impact me in the slightest, not a single thing. Ive always really liked the ui design in animal crossing, i will be ripping it off in some shape or fashion, i will decide if it will be shameless or not at a later date

Main issue with making a 3d game is that i gotta learn blender and thats makes it difficult because i also have to learn how to make a 3d model like look good

Anyways I dont expect this to be done for awhile, but im hoping the pressure from starting a log, generally just to complain and complain about how unreadable documentation can be.

This is supposed to spark the start and I will be opening a unity project and trying make a cube move with WASD whenever i have free time and im not drawing.

[weirdmageddon]

i’m thinking again about this article, read it if you havent

it concisely puts into words what ive been lowkey aggravated about online as a psych major and as someone diagnosed with ASD (and subsumed ADHD)

Social media incentivises reductive or sweeping statements, meaning that these kinds of distinctions often get flattened by the way we talk about mental health and neurodivergence online. Given that its platforms are mostly limited to 60 second videos, 10-slide infographics, or 280 character microblogs, it rarely provides the space necessary to tackle these topics with detail or nuance.

this is so important to recognize. i hate that i have to ask myself “does this person really neurochemically have adhd like me or did they self-dx because they relate to some generalized symptoms they saw on a ‘you may have adhd if x’ post”? if someone told they they had adhd 5 years ago online i would have believed them but now i can’t be sure if they actually have adhd like neurochemically or if they saw something online they related to. and i understand why people self-diagnose, our healthcare system is fucked and systemic racism and sexism still exist, but me and my mom (who works as a nurse in a psychiatric clinic and sees the entire DSM in her workplace every day) believe it’s gotten way out of hand to the point of being detrimental to everyone involved.

for me my disorder is a structural and connectivity difference during gestation which begets divergent thinking and neurochemical imbalances. (ADHD is almost always comorbid with ASD. in fact when i was diagnosed with ASD it was during the DSM-IV where it was dictated that a diagnosis of ADHD not be given along with a diagnosis of ASD because it’s subsumed into it, but DSM-V allows dual diagnosis now.) for me it’s purely nature but i think for a lot of others it’s a question of nurture.

“I think it's great to be able to relate to people and find a community based on your traumas and how fucked up and maldapted you feel to society,” says P.E. The issue is, however, that these overly-pathologised views of mental health and neurodivergence usually invite us to situate the root of the problem firmly within ourselves, and as fixed parts of our identity. “If more and more of us all feel so maladaptive to the point that we require medication, then perhaps we can all collectively realise that something larger is going on that does not have to do with the chemical composition of our brains. I think we need to realise that it's something larger than that.”

we shouldnt be so quick to turn everything into a diagnosis. if you dont actually have the neurochemical imbalances of ADHD, stimulants can fuck you up while they help me to do just basic tasks and leap over executive hurdles that other people have no problem doing without them because my brain is wired differently from the start.

i posted this thread on twitter and someone replied, “i managed to skim it, i wish i had the attention span to read it in full. Very frustrating to see tik toks that have almost a million likes tell people that their behavior is a result of trauma while knowing that its impossible to undo the damage the tik tok has done”

and let me tell you i literally fucking hate tiktok. i’ll read this headline “people with OCD are finding community and support on tiktok” and be oh good for them but the thing with tiktok is like

it’s all about image. it’s focused on image. so what you’re going to get is people all dolled up in clothing and fashion and whatever with some bland ass music playing to some text on the screen and some kid sitting there silently running their fingers through their hair and pointing to the text with an air of sanctimoniousness about it. the use pathology as a topic for visual clout.. it’s not taken as seriously or as in as much nuance as it should. the focus isn’t fully there. it feels almost disrespectful to me.

im not kidding when i say tiktok has regressed our society and not to sound like a boomer but it literally was not like this before tiktok. tumblr had issues with romanticizing depression which was bad but it smoothed itself out because it was in writing and people weren’t pulled away by how someone looked so they could successfuly counter it. but now? i’ve never seen the talk about diagnoses so grossly oversimplified as they are right now especially on twitter too and it makes me feel like my real issues and the issues of other people with ASD and ADHD will become disgustingly trivialized like a game of telephone if this keeps up because of the association with these stupid fucking kids who think having diagnoses makes you “cool”. autism is cool in some aspects—i wouldn’t be me without it—but horrible in others (cant focus on what people are saying because all i can focus on is my ability to maintain eye contact, thinking im crazy for most things because no one else seems to notice or struggle with it, oversensitivity to sensory stimuli, being a picky eater because i have such an aversion to many textures and flavors and being made fun of for it and i feel horrible and disrespectful like i might come across as xenophobic for it if its with foods im not used to from other cultures, i can’t become friends with anyone if they dont share my interests, i don’t know i’m feeling emotion unless there’s a physiological reaction i can perceive. all of these things i hate about myself and are just generally unnecessary obstacles), there is nothing cool about living with ADHD (and im not saying this as to how i can benefit others. i mean i literally cant do the things i want to because of executive dysfunction, i dont process shit that was just said to me which is frustrating and embarassing for me, my mom gets fed up with having to tell me the same thing over and over or she thinks i’m lying that i didnt hear what she said to avoid doing something when i genuinely didn’t even process she said it), there is nothing cool about living with anxiety. but none of them, NONE of them should EVER be used as an excuse to not take responsibility for one’s actions or be used to appear more meek. this extends beyond ASD, ADHD, and anxiety btw im also talking about bipolar, cluster Bs, dissociative disorders, etc. these may serve as explanations for why behavior is the way it is but never an excuse. i can’t tell you how fucking tired i am of people using their hyperfixations as an excuse as to why they cant stop watching racist youtubers. literally as someone with autism and adhd and hyperfixations of my own if you have basic human morality you’ll feel guilt every time you interact with it so it will be aversive conditioning until you stop altogether or if you prevent yourself from watching it the hyperfixation will fade fast. it’s gotten out of control.

the worst offenders are for the most part teens who are Going Thru It and want to find an identity and answers. the teenage stage of life is the perfect recipe for all of this to coalesce and it’s no wonder we’re seeing all these serious mental health disorders on 13-16 year old’s carrds like bpd when you typically can’t even get diagnosed with personality disorders until you’re 18 because teenager’s personalities are still developing and clinicians are hesitant to give a diagnosis until then. knowing you have complex ptsd of some kind is one thing but treating it as a badge of honor to tote around to appear special because all the cool kids have it isn’t it and it further adds to the stigma of bpd as just being annoying attention seeking teenagers which bars the people who need help from getting it. pretty much every teenager has mood swings and emotional issues and image issues but those alone don’t create the diagnosis of a personality disorder which is why clinicians typically like to wait until the patient is an adult to diagnose them. the same thing with self dx’d psychotic and dissociative disorders too, this thread really tells it how it is.

so many teens. aren’t. doing. necessary. research. i’m talking like scientific articles on journal databases type of research. research that takes genuine self-reflection as to how your experiences align with formal diagnostic criteria for a year or two at least. and teens are being indirectly influenced by social and peer pressures to diagnose themself with something. don’t use social media like tiktok or twitter or tumblr as a means to diagnose yourself. it’s okay not to have something, in fact it’s a privilege. not everything needs a diagnosis.

it also makes me feel like there’s less of a community to turn to i can trust to know what i’m going through and what i experience in the same way as me and i know i’m not the only one feeling this. it’s not “everyone has a little ADHD”, it probably means there’s a societal problem and we’re being pushed beyond the limits of what human brains are able to effectively handle. and we also need to stop treating mental disorders as a way to appear unique and cool and immune to criticism and/or as a crutch to fall back on when we fuck up.

[faorism]

(some/all of this will be going into my current wip coming out soon but i need to riff for a sec about leverage international deciding to actually consider their hitters' limits. significant contributions from my bud cecil.)

there won't be another eliot spencer.

for a lot of reasons, obviously. perfection was achieved early with that hot piece of punchy hands eye candy, and it's hard to become a boogeyman when eliot's name is already a whisper in the night. but there won't be another eliot spencer because leverage international does not fucking allow shit like the (un)knowing exploitation of a hitters body anymore. there won't be another hitter spending their retirement with pains that wont go away and mornings they can't get up and a fog in their brain that steals memories and thoughts and words with the precision of a thief, but these are stolen objects not even the best retrieval specialists could ever bring back.

there won't be another eliot spencer, not under parker and alec's watch.

masterminds (or whatever they decide to call their point) have to budget field time for hitters. as such, teams usually have at least two, so no one is doing consecutive jobs or working after a bad hit. hitters join a team and their masterminds must have a proposal to parker within the year of what alternative role hitters will be trained for over time. eight years is the absolute limit for hitter only assignments, four after that for mixed roles inclusive of hitter, but those twelve years total is pushing it to the very max.

theres no private hot nurses you pretend are just a hook up and are rly actual nurses. theres a league of health care professionals recruited to help. they are better trained than typical US health care orders. no "black people feel less pain/have stronger bones/extra muscles" or "women complain more/have a lower pain tolerance" bullshit in their medical network. no gender essentialism bullshit about bodies or transphobic language or practices. therapy aint mandatory but damn is it recommended hard.

the episode in 2.0 with the woman whose cop ex stalked her planted a seed. like, fuck why dont we check in. and even if there's not an active bad guy doing shit,, getting your life together and recovering from the trauma of victimization? that is hard.

leverage international becomes an ecosystem.

social worker has a bad taste in parkers mouth, so they call it something else. people who care. people who will check in. you are part of our protection forever like let's change the world. you guys are the good guys and can do things we can't imagine. so we are going to make sure you can do your thing, because theres only so much of an arms race we can do with bad guys vs bad guys.

truly an arms race: if it was nate's leverage international, they would be running fire through the world and taking down every fucker around and itll be warfare, as eliot says in the finale of 1.0. and that's how it starts with just them three but idk they didnt have to live like that. they shouldn't, and they teach others they shouldnt either. because how many bad guy security folks are told they have to start hitting harder & bring bigger guns, but they weren't so sure about this job to begin with, and maybe now is a good exit time? and then they end up on leverage's payroll instead.

nate would be disappointed about how slowly they are taking own the bad guys with so many people involved.

but nate would never have come up with this in all his plans. this kind of collaboration just wasn't in his alphabet. because as @july-19th-club argued so well, god love that ornery bastard but nate? nate never had that vision, you know? because this truly an extension of hardison's love. alec is here to make the world a better shelter for those he loves.

and by bre's time, recognition has shifted to "actually, this isn't just the scaled up adult version of a bully on the playground. this is the system. they have a network. we need to build our own."

the jobs are slower and paced because (1) the bad guys are spooked because the fuck is going on why cant anyone keep their money why is everyone going to actual jail; (2) their hitters are getting more ruthless; (3) leverage is like trying not to destroy their crews thru exhaustion; and (4) Plan Fucking Ms are goddamn unacceptable like the fuck nate thr fuck,,, parkers three jobs in tryna run leverage like nate and like how did you joke about that how do you have so casually in your brain like, oh yeah hardison the """"weak"""" one dies.

people are going to get hurt and die, because what they do is dangerous and you cannot account for it all and no one can replicate the magic skill/luck that was working with the OG leverage crew. but. but. if they need to scale back and slow down and have bigger teams and more training or whatever to protect their fucking family then fuck it. that's what they will fucking do.

there won't be another eliot spencer, but he will always be remembered. known. but the legacy of eliots work is not that he was an indestructible force. but the knowledge that every life is sacred and to be protected, not just the ppl you are putting your body in front of to defend but also yourself. and thats? thats love. thats a world truly changing and changed.

[tastyykpop]

𝐶𝑟𝑎𝑧𝑦 𝑖𝑛 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒-Part 1

Pairings: yandere mafia leader!baekhyun x reader

Genre: suggestive, smut in later chapters, angst probs, fluff here and there but its very lowkey

《teaser next》

Warnings: kidnapping, drug use, alcohol consumption, baeks kinda crazy, pet names, master kink, spanking (he literally spanks her once), choking (not in a kinky way), mentions of blood and murder

Word count: 4.9k

Tag list: @wooya1224 @geniusloey tell me if you want to be tagged!!

⚠️ this is purely fictional and not how I imagine baekhyun to actually act. If you feel like you're in a situation like this please run and report it. I do not support this behavior.

How long has it been? 3 or 5 days? Maybe even a week. You didnt know nor did you care. But why would you? You've gave up caring ever since your boyfriend, Sungho was murdered right in front of you, but you couldn't even see who the murderer was which drove you insane.

Tears and blood stained your pretty skin that night, so much agony and rage ran through your veins. All you wanted to do was curl up into a ball and scream until you passed out. But its been days since you've gotten a proper good night's sleep and it was eating you away ever so slowly. Everytime you closed your eyes, you remembered that dreadful day, Sungho's screams, the terror on his beautiful face, his lifeless bloody body. What did he do to deserve death? Why did it have to be him?

"Y/n! Y/n, its been four days please come out of your room!" It was the familiar voice of your mother and her knocking that brought you back to reality. She was almost begging, she hasn't seen you since you locked yourself away that night so you couldnt blame her for being worried, but you were fine. "I'm coming in."

She pushed your door open to see you cuddling your blanket with no emotion on your face. You looked at her with barely any care and rolled over, facing away from her.

She sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, "You know y/n, we'll get to the bottom of this and have them put behind bars. It's gonna be ok-"

"No its not," you rasped from not using your voice in so long, "I dont even know what the murderer looked like, how can we put them behind bars!?" There was a small pause, she knew finding them wasnt likely which hurt you like hell, but she was still trying her best to comfort you.

"...At least come out of your room, everyone's worried." Your mother pleaded and though you really didnt want to move, you didnt want to upset or worry anyone any further so you got up.

With a smile, she did the same and led you downstairs to where you dad and sister were. They tensed when they saw you, but nonetheless smiled sadly, thanking the heavens you were okay.

"You look horrible..." your sister, Haeun, commented making you cringe. It wasnt like she was wrong, you spent four days not taking a shower and sitting in the same clothes so of course you looked bad, who wouldn't.

You excused yourself and went into the kitchen grabbing the first thing you saw, a bottle of vodka. Now it wasnt the best drink you could've had, but you decided to drink away your pain and suffering since you couldnt take the heart ache any longer.

"Shes doing it again." Your mother whispered but you heard her clear as day. "Shouldnt we stop her?"

"What for? She won't listen and she's traumatized. There's nothing much we could do right now." Your dad spoke with sadness watching as you took a quick swig from the substance.

Normally, you're not one to drink vodka but now it felt good, maybe too good. The more you drank it, the less pain you were in. It could last forever, you thought, but nothing lasts forever.

As you poured yourself another drink, you started wondering about Sungho again. If there were an afterlife, was he happy there? Would he be watching over you, making sure you were happy and healthy?If only it were that simple.

Though you and him were starting to drift off a bit, you still cared and loved him and now you're starting to take everything you guys went through for granted. Its what you get.

Standing up, you left the kitchen a bit dizzy from only drinking alcohol and having nothing else in your system and went back upstairs to take a shower. You decided after drinking, you wanted to go to the club you always go to. Normally, you didnt go on a Thursday, but you thought since you haven't been out in a while that it would be good to leave and breathe in the fresh air.

You took a fairly quick shower and your hair and makeup didnt take long either. Finally stopping to look at yourself in the mirror, your saw how pale and tired you were. Almost lifeless. You figured that once you finally have a good time, it would all go away and you'd be happy again.

"Where are you going?" You jumped at the voice of Haeun who appeared out of nowhere.

"To the club." You stated nonchalantly,

Haeun frowned, "Thats not a good idea, all you'll do is drink until you pass out. And there's always weirdos waiting for their turn with someone vulnerable like that."

A smile formed on your face trying to lighten up the mood a bit, "Ill be fine. I promise nothing bad will happen."

Haeun sighed, almost sounding like a bratty child who didn't get their way because she knew she wouldn't change your mind no matter how hard she tried. It sucked to have a stubborn sibling like yourself.

Sehun rolled his eyes at the sight of Baekhyuns scheduled flirting session. The girl was dressed in barely anything and he could tell she was probably Baekhyuns new toy for the night as he started getting handsy with her. But Sehun could see how Baekhyuns eyes weren't always looking at her. Instead, they sometimes searched passed the girl in hopes to find something else. He knew what, actually who he was searching for so he never asked or mentioned it.

He remembered you perfectly. Your calm and sleeping figure laying peacefully on your boyfriends chest. It was a shame he had to wake you up while he killed the man. And it was a shame to see such a pretty girl cry and scream with such fright in her eyes.

But Sehun didn't feel that bad, he did what he was supposed to do with only a little remorse.

"Sehun," Baekhyun called, the younger lifted his head waiting for him to continue, "Are you sure you didn't hurt my little toy the other day?"

Sehun scoffed, "If I did, I'd be dead by now, hyung."

The man chuckled sadistically , "She hasn't been here in a while," Baekhyun looked up from the girl and turned to Sehun, "Its only safe to ask."

"Hyung, I told you before that shes probably scared." Sehun face palmed when Baekhyun glared at him.

"A little red shouldnt effect someone that bad."

"I kil-" Sehun stopped what he was about to say, forgetting about the girl straddling Baekhyuns lap and cleared his throat, "Shes not used to stuff like that, Baek."

He didn't care about what Sehun said and ignored the youngests pointless blabbering, returning his attention back the girl only for a short amount of time until something caught his attention.

You walked in his club with confidence and beauty not giving any staring man the time of day and took your usual seat at the bar. After ordering your drink, you put your head in your arms and Baekhyun grinned.

Now was his chance, there's no way anyone will get in his way and there was no way he'd let this chance go.

"Stay here." Baekhyun said to Sehun, pushing the girl off him as he stood up. She almost pulled him back but he gave her such a terrifying death glare that made her stop.

"Theres no way youre actually gonna go talk to her...right?" Sehun questioned a bit shocked that Baekhyun was actually going to you after so long.

"Of course I am, I'll be back." With that, Baekhyun walked away from the two with only one thing on his mind: you.

He waltzed with a smirk of pure evil. What would he do? Only God knew, but he couldnt help himself when he saw your pretty face.

All eyes watched Baekhyun stop next to you, astonished that he went to talk to a girl and not the other way around, "Excuse me sweetheart," You popped your head up in the direction Baekhyun spoke, he took a seat next to you with an almost comforting smile when he saw your red cheeks, "But are you okay."

You wanted to spill everything that happened so bad because you needed to get it out, but you didnt know the man and neither did he know you so all you could do was nod, "Im fine."

Baekhyun knew behind your lying eyes was someone in pain and searching for a person to hold, but he couldnt do anything just yet and tried loosening you up to him so he could do what he wanted to do in the first place.

"C'mon sweetheart, you can tell me anything." He smiled that charismatic smile of his, "I'm easy to talk to."

It was believable for the most part and you laughed a bit, the first laugh you actually had since that tragic night, "You seem like a sweet talker," you smirked causing Baekhyun to chuckle, "Whats the catch?"

"There is no catch, I just wanted to know if youre okay. And besides, I could tell you've been crying." He pointed to your tear stained cheeks and you mentally cursed yourself for unintentionally crying just a few moments ago.

"Oh.."

"Dont worry," He chuckled, "Whatever it is im sure you'll get over it." Baekhyun almost failed to hide his sinful smug as you frowned and covered it quickly with a swig of your drink.

But something inside was eating you away about what happened, you needed to let out your emotions and you started caring less and less that he was a stranger. Then again, what if you scared him away? What will happen next?

"At least tell me your name first," You blushed and shyly looked over at him who had an expecting glint in his eyes, "Then maybe ill tell you why I'm so upset."

Baekhyun stretched his hand out in front of him and you gently shook it. Damn he had a strong grip, "My names Byun Baekhyun and you?" He asked as if he didnt know who you were.

"Y/n L/n." You beamed, wondering why his name was so familiar. "So uh- my story..." Fumbling with the drink in your hands, you sighed heavily, "Long story short, my boyfriend was...murdered in front of me." You mumbled the last bit, but you didnt need to repeat yourself as Baekhyun already knew every single detail of that night thanks to Sehun.

Placing a soft hand on your shoulder he whispered with fake sympathy, "I understand now why you're so upset," Liar, "I feel terrible," No he doesn't.

He wiped a stray tear that had slipped down your cheeks and sent you a solemn look.

"I-its in the past i guess." You muttered, "I can't change a thing about it."

Damn right you couldnt. Even if there were some form of time travel, Baekhyun wouldn't dare let you try and change the past because that would mean you weren't entirely his. But since there isn't anything like that, Baekhyun has nothing to worry about except figuring out how to bring you back with him.

"Would you like a glass of water, y/n?" Baekhyun asked quickly as a thought popped into his head. You nodded your head slowly and Baekhyun called over the bartender. You werent really paying attention to him ordering the water and just let your mind slip to the sound of the music and looked around the room, tapping your fingers to the beat, but you stopped when you felt a pair of sharp eyes watching you from somewhere. You looked here and there before stopping on a man that was a about a few inches taller than Baekhyun. He had a eerie grin on his face when you noticed him, then he winked.

Chills went down your spine and you spun yourself around in your chair facing forwards causing Baekhyun to raise an eyebrow but he didnt question it.

"Heres the water." He handed the drink over and you thanked him before taking a sip. It tasted a bit weird but not all water tasted the same, though it was slightly dry for water.

"So tell me about yourself, y/n." Baekhyun checked his watch, all he needed was fifteen minutes then you were all his. "You seem like an interesting person." He looked up and smiled.

"Well," You thought about what was possibly interesting enough to tell him, "Im in my second year of college!" A smile crossed your lips.

"Oh really? Where do you go?" Baekhyun did seem interested to know some parts of your life. Somehow, you caught his attention like that. Thats why Sehun was a surprised when he finally made his move with you.

"Seoul of Performing Arts." You beamed. It was the happiest moment in your life when you got accepted and all of your family members, extended and close, celebrated your acceptance, "My boyfriend, Sungho, went there too."

He just about rolled his eyes but replaced it with a nod and a fake warm smile. If you knew him better, you'd know that smile was only him clenching his jaw in anger.

"How cute." The glint in his eyes proved he was lying and maybe you were too stupid or innocent to notice when you took another sip of water.

He watched and wished his plan could go faster, he was excited to have fun with his pretty little toy and he couldnt wait any longer.

"What about you?" You raised a brow. There was still something in your gut that made you feel like you knew him. And you still wondered why. Was he someone famous in the city? Maybe you've heard your friends mention him here and there? What was it about him that was so familiar?

"You'll know soon enough kitten." You frowned at the pet name as he pat your head like you were a small child yet you chose to ignore it.

It was a bit outlandish and made you more skeptical to know who he was.

"Thats not very reassuring, Baekhyun." Your quirked.

"Why tell you when I can just show you?" He leaned in, mocking your now pouty lips and chuckled, "The drugs should be setting in by now."

You lifted your head up with wide eyes, "Wait what?" Did you hear him right? Did he say what you thought he said? "What do you mean drugs!?" You said with awestruck as your heart raced in fear. You hoped to god he was just joking

The man before you smirked that unpleasant smirk of his, almost like the guy you saw before and you started panicking more, knowing he wasn't kidding. You tried to get up and run but you felt so woozy in a matter of seconds. Not to mention the sudden pain in your stomach that made you want to throw up. What was Baekhyuns plan? Why did he do this!? You thought at least one thing could go right tonight and maybe you could have fun, but you were wrong. So so wrong.

Trying to leave the club building, you knew you wouldn't make it but you still wanted to attempt an escape. It didn't have to be like this. Each step made it harder to move and your eyes started drooping. It was too late for you.

Already collapsed on the ground, people gasped and stared at your almost lifeless body as Baekhyun tilted his head to the side, "She tried, ill give her that." He walked over and crouched down next to you, moving the hair out of your pale face, "But not hard enough."

In an instant, your body was thrown over the man's shoulder. No one commented on anything that happened in fear that they could be next. It was impossible to say that they felt bad either, they were just glad it didn't happen to themselves.

"Sehun," He called out to the younger male but Sehun was already ahead of him, "You drive." He tossed him the keys.

With a nod they both walked out, you on Baekyuns shoulder as he took you to the expensive car. Gently, he placed you down in backseat, putting your seatbelt on for you, and climbed in on the other side to sit next to you.

"All this just for a girl." Sehun shook his head but needless to say he still smirked, "Youre loosing yourself, hyung." The car sparked and drove off into the night, no cops came searching. They knew better. And neither was there news of your kidnapping, the city stayed quiet.

Sure once your parents realized you were gone they'd start freaking out, but would they dare mess with Baekhyun? Would anyone actually try to mess with him? The mafia could easily answer that with an optimistic no. Remember, Baekhyun had power. No one is going to stop him.

"How long will she be out for?" Sehun asked.

Baekhyun shrugged, "Like an hour or two." He was excited for your life with him now, he knew you were finally his after a year of watching you come and go in his club, plus the small stalking he did when he wanted to see you, and he could only smile. No one can get in between him and your love anymore. "Shes gonna love it when she gets home!"

Sehun chuckled at Baekhyuns almost child like enthusiam and started, "She seems a bit innocent," he paused, looking back at your passed out body in the mirror before returning back to the road, "Normally women don't look off into space when someone's buying them a drink."

"Maybe she's a bit slow, but she wouldn't be here with me if that didn't happen."

The candle flickered in the dark as you awoke on a strange bed. You're head was pounding a bit as you tried looking around at your unfamiliar surroundings. What happened? Was your first thought and you started questioning where you were too. You knew something wasn't right but you couldn't understand why.

You tried getting up only to be locked in place by restraints on your wrists. They were only silk but they were tied tight enough to keep you still. Tilting your head in confusion, you heard foot steps coming towards the door and stopping for a mere few seconds before the door handle twisted.

You anticipated what was going to happen, you didnt even know what was going on in the first place, but you remembered the man standing in front of you.

"B-Baekhyun..?"

"Hey, kitten." That sinister smile was plastered on his face. You were sure it held more meanings then just one.

"Where a-am i?"

He almost cooed at your curiosity but composed himself, "At my mansion, where you'll be staying from now on."

There was a moment where you had to think, interestingly enough what Baekhyun said didnt even frighten you in the slightest, but then again you were high off the drug.

"C-Can you u-untie my hands please?" Your voice was soft and quiet, Baekhyun noticed you werent fully aware of your surroundings and complied, untying the silk from your wrists.

Your eyes were a little dilated when you looked at him. He was gorgeous, you had to give him that, though you wanted to remember why something wasn't sitting right with him. "Baekhyun?"

He looked up with a hum.

"Who...are y-you to me?" You squinted your eyes at the man who sat on the bed next to you, drawing small shapes on your thigh in a sort of loving manner.

"Your boyfriend, y/n."

Boyfriend? You have a boyfriend?

"I have a boyfriend..?" You muttered and asked more to yourself than to him, but he snickered, knowing way more than you did.

"Kitten you drank too much, go back to sleep." He lied and pushed your shoulders down so you were flat against the mattress.

"I-i did?" You whined when Baekhyun kissed your cheek. He always wanted to kiss more than your cheek, he couldnt bring himself to do that unless you were fully conscious for him.

"Yes baby girl, so get some sleep."

You grumbled, "I-Im not t-tired."

Baekhyun sighed, "Then what would the pretty girl like to do?"

You perked up on the mattress and grinned, "Im hungry!"

"Youre hungry?" Baekhyun repeated with a smile at your small childlike energy and you nodded back, "I can ask someone to make you something if you'd like."

"Please!"

He stood up, waiting for you to do the same but since you weren't very awake, you stumbled a bit.

Baekhyun settled with carrying you to the mansions kitchen, awing at your cuteness the whole time. It was a bit of a walk but luckily you were light.

Sitting you down, Baekhyun walked off, finding someone to cook for you. In your state, you felt a bit lonely, only knowing Baekhyun and not your surroundings, it made you feel a bit lost. It shocked you too how you didnt remember Baekhyun being your boyfriend, you started question the relationship between the two of you more.

"Princess i got you your favorite dish!" He walked in with a plate of jjajangmyeon and set it down in front of you.

Your mouth was watering and you were ready to dig in before wondering, "H-How do you know m-my favorite dish?"

Baekhyun hesitated at the question before clearing his throat and spoke with a raised brow, "We're dating y/n, why wouldn't I know what you like?"

"Uh yeah..right...." you dug in, your mind was starting to clear up a bit, not enough for you to fully remember anything though. But the more you thought, the more consciousness you regained.

Baekhyun watched as you gobbled down the meal with full satisfaction. This wouldn't be the first time he's watched you and neither would it be the last. He liked knowing you were eating well and were healthy so he was proud.

"I-im done!"

"Good girl. Now wait for me to come back so we can go to bed, okay?" You nodded and sat patiently as he took your plate and waited for your boyfriend to come back.

A few moments later, Baekhyun still was no where to be seen and your mind was slowly coming back, "N-no...wait." mumbling to yourself, you figured it out in just mere seconds and remembered that your boyfriend was brutally murdered four days ago in front of you. After four days you went to the bar to drink away the anguish and met someone, that someone was Byun Baekhyun. After thirty or so minutes of talking to him, you were drugged when you werent paying attention and passed out minutes later. Now you were here at Baekhyuns mansion, lied to and kidnapped. "Oh fuck."

The chair scraped against the floor and you wasted no time running to your hopeful freedom.

But you weren't a lucky person. Oh no you weren't. You were tossed and pushed against the door you were about to open by someone much bigger. He was the same guy you saw at the bar and his smirk was nothing different. Cynical and frightening.

The man stepped closer to you before putting one hand next to your head and whispered, "Are you playing a cat and mouse game with hyung now? How cute." Standing tall, he grabbed you by the hair and dragged you back to where you came. You groaned and tried fighting back, but there was no use, he wasn't going to let go until after he practically threw you into Baekhyuns arms.

You were about to scream at Baekhyun and the no name man until Baekhyun covered your mouth with his hand, "Say something and you'll regret it." He growled into your ear as you shook and fought.

You hummed against him and tried biting his hand and punching his side, but he was like a man of steel and let it happen, only raising his brow like he wanted to hurt you, but didnt.

"Sehun, tell Chanyeol to lock all the doors for the next week or so 'til she learns how to behave."

The man nodded and ran off leaving you two alone. Fear was one way to describe it and the look Baekhyun gave you didnt help.

"Now kitten why would you go and do some shit like that? Are you asking to be punished?" He took his hand off your mouth to let you speak. Baekhyuns aura was much different than earlier. The nice guy was gone and you were left with a man who could kill you with just one look.

You stopped hitting him and screamed viciously, "Fuck you! You're fucking insane!"

"Now now princess," he pressed a hand to your throat, wrapping it tighter and tighter until you felt the oxygen leave your lungs, "It seems as if you're asking for a punishment."

"I-if you...s-so dare to-touch..any other p-part of my body, i-ill....kill you..." You whimpered, grabbing his wrist in attempts to pull him off but Baekhyun was relentless, keeping his grasp tight and painful.

"Stop struggling, you're only making this harder for yourself."

There were two options now, either listen to Baekhyun or fight until you passed out again.

"Princess." His voice held a warning tone and you hesitantly stopped and moments later he loosened his grip, you knew there would be marks by tomorrow, "We are going to bed now. Don't try to run, I have this place guarded up and if you do somehow make it out, be prepared because I will find you and beat your ass until you can't sit for a month. Understand?"

Your stomach did flips and not in a good way, you were scared, "Y-yes."

"Can you say 'yes master'?" His voice went higher as he said the last part to mimic yours.

You sighed, positive if you didnt comply then you'd be here all night, "Yes m-master..."

"Good girl." He kissed your cheek and you almost smacked him in disgust but tried not to act aggressive towards him. You wanted to leave, not be punished by whatever he had in mind. "Call me that from now on."

Baekhyun grabbed your hand and led you to the room you were just in, now that you took a good look, it was a pretty room. There was a red sofa against the wall and some other matching chairs plus a huge flat screen TV hanging on the wall facing the bed. You had to admit, he had good taste but he was still insane.

As you sat down on the bed, Baekhyun reached into his draw to pull out a t-shirt and handed it to you with a wide smile, but you raised a brow at the fabric.

"No pants?" You asked.

Baekhyun chuckled, "What for?"

"Because of creeps like you." You grumbled and snatched the shirt that dangled in front of your face before storming off into the connected bathroom. Inside, you could hear Baekhyuns annoying laugh and ignored it, changing into the surprisingly very oversized shirt that went down to your mid thigh.

Taking the clothes you wore earlier, you went back into the room where Baekhyun laid peacefully on the bed, waiting for you.

He only had his boxers on which made you groan in anger and decided to not lay on the bed and instead on the couch near it.

"Princess, what are you doing?" He perched himself on his elbows, watching you throw your clothes on the ground then take the folded blanket on the couch and wrap yourself with it as you laid down.

"Going to sleep, master." You stated coldly with a glare.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, "Get over here." He said, voice low and laced with dominance but you remained still, closing your eyes and pretending as if you were asleep. "Y/n." He warned but there was no reply.

"Thats it." You heard him get up and march to where you laid. Baekhyun picked you up and you yelped at the sudden intrusion and were thrown over his shoulder.

Smacking his back got you nowhere as he threw you down on the bed, pinning both your hands down and hovered over you with a killing look, "Next time you don't listen, ill bend you over my knee."

"Youre all talk, no action." In an instant you were flipped over and a hand landed straight on your bare ass, leaving you shocked and mouth agape.

"Are you sure, kitten? Would you like me to spank you again?"

"N-no."

"No what?"

"N-no master.."

Baekhyun slowly let you go and laid beside you, still a bit irrated. "Now go to sleep."

You couldnt. Not with the lingering fear of what could happen next. Plus, not with his arm wrapped around your waist with a somewhat tight hold. You were just too scared to let your gaurd down. Why shouldn't you be scared though? What if he took advantage of your sleeping body and did something terrible.

There was no way you could get rest now. You could now count this as your fifth day without proper sleep.

[mojwisungie]

hc | boyfriend ♡

req (from: anon) ➥ : read the mark-jaemin boyfriend, and then then renjun-jisung boyfriend headcanons,,, can you do one for the remaining members? thank you~~

☄︎ with: lee jeno, lee donghyuck, zhong chenle ☄︎ lou.note: this has been in my wips for so long im sorry anonie but here i am to give it you guys as an offering for my birthday (its tomorrow on the 26th but anyway) hehe hope you all enjoy <3

ੈ⋆ mark & jaemin ver. | renjun & jisung ver.

Jeno

the observing, supportive boyfriend

jeno doesnt pay much attention to things that arent important

but YOU are important

you mean so much to him, and thats still an understatement

he often thinks that by paying attention to you and everything you do

he'll know you in a way no one else does

at this point, he knows everything about you

your favorite sweater (which he owns), favorite color, favorite artists, favorite songs, etc.

jeno actually knows your order by heart even if it varies in different restaurants

his mantra is actually happy y/n = happy jeno ^_^

thats also the reason why fights dont usually happen

he knows when its too much for you and so he will do what he thinks is best for the situation

anyways: dates with jeno are either doing physical activities or plain cuddling on the couch

it would mostly be him who initiates dates like hiking, biking, etc.

but, he would also always check with you if youre okay with it or if you want to rest 

one time you asked him for a day in those sport grounds ?? like those places that has random games like wall-climbing, archery, and trampolines

oh this boy has the biggest smile on his face asking you, “hold on love, are you serious ( ◕▿◕ ) ?”

during hectic weeks, he’s definitely up for movie marathons

if he still has some energy, he will make a blanket fort for the both of you

also jeno lee is a cuddle bug (you cannot change my mind, this case is closed)

and so he’ll use these lazy dates to indulge in hugging you for as long as he can 

on the supportive note, he always reassures you with the kindest words

AND hes the type of guy who will ask you if you need comfort or solutions when you rant to him T﹏T

and that is actually proof that he is the best support system

he'd be your hype man when you need a push

thinking of auditioning for a club? go ahead, he'll teach you what he knows

want to try a new hobby and start journaling? he'll help you find cute stickers (and he'll buy them too)

he will always help in whatever way he can, and he will constantly assure you that he’s there for you as you have been for him

he is reserved, quiet, and keep things on the down low, yet with you, he’s entirely different

jeno loves you just as you love him, and he’ll do everything to prove it to the world- you.

Haechan

the enthusiastic, soft boyfriend

he is!! literally!! the sun!!

he often calls you often in the morning to wake you up, greeting you with the loveliest voice saying, “good morning darling, how was your sleep?” SADKJASD

if he’s free, he’ll actually drop by yours to bring breakfast and eat with you

and if ever you still live with your family, you bet that once you slip into the kitchen he’s chatting up with your parents like he’s their son

actually... he technically is

he loves going out with you and your family as much as he loves going out with his

hyuck is very family-oriented, you really dont have to plead to him if you want him to come to a gathering

as long as you say yes to him inviting you to their family activities too 😌

he once asked you to go with him to this intimate family dinner his relatives organized

and you ask him, “are you sure im allowed to go? the invitation in the email complete says Lee Family and clearly.. im not-”

this man didnt even let you finish and says, “BUT YOU WILL BE!! SOON!! I WILL MARRY YOU!! baby come on just please come with me!!!”

he means it though

you dont know it, but the thought of spending the rest of his life with you often comes into his mind

and so dates with him can be both ends of the spectrum

you guys could go for fancy restaurants, amusement parks, and even late night computer games (if you dont play, he’ll teach you dont worry <3)

but there are also domestic dates such as grocery shopping, helping each other babysit nephews/nieces, and the such

its obvious to every one that haechan is so soft for you

and he doesnt care what other people say

one time, mark heard him talk to you in the cutest, softest voice and laughed... and regretted it bc haechan turned to him in the most serious face and the deepest tone saying, “and so?” 

as much as possible, he wants you to feel loved bc thats what you make him feel

despite this, arguments are still there, but it doesnt go on for long

fights dont escalate as you both work together against the problem

so at the end of the day, no feelings are hurt or turned a blind eye to

disagreements are often rooted from the nature of work though, thats why every time things arent so fine, he’ll do his best to fix it

because he treasures his time with you and the love you both invest in

he didnt value time that much before, bc he’s so used to putting up with whatever that comes his way

but when you came into his life, he realized it is indeed precious

haechan spends every second loving you beyond infinity

Chenle

the parental, sincere, affectionate boyfriend

you’ve seen him rant, right?

he’ll do that often, but only when its about you not getting what you need

others may not see it, but he’s really concerned when its about you so he’ll do anything to make sure youre well taken care of

if you havent eaten yet bc youre too busy going over your notes for your exams, he’ll buy you your favorite food and feed it to you

all the while talking about how you shouldnt put aside eating bc its important to eat meals at the right time

this guy solves old math problems when he has time to spare, so he’ll be okay with you coming to for help whenever you struggle with your lessons

as cliché as it may be, he will also get you the stuff you need- whether it may be for school or for your personal shenanigans 

you complained about your laptop once, saying it keeps on lagging

he deadass goes, “do you wanna go and buy a new one now?” 💀

he just wants you to do well in the stuff you do, okay ??

chenle is blunt about pretty much everything in your relationship too

he tells you all the stuff he knows he should tell you

including embarrassing moments of his members

the dreamies cant joke around with you too much,, bc they know you know everything (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

but jokes aside, sometimes his honesty can be cause of some arguments

bc he gets too straight-forward at times and ends up unintentionally hurting you :((

and when you explain why it made you feel that way, he’s lost bc he thinks he was just saying the truth

but as time passes, he will learn how to be upfront with you without having to sadden you

please be patient with him as he is with you 👉🏼👈🏼

anyhow, dates with him would always be one for the books

if you ever think that he probably doesnt remember the dates you wanna go on to, youre wrong

bc its all listed in his mind and he’s determined to tick every single one from the list

when he’s busy or away on tour, facetimes would be a regular thing

he’s prepared with the timezones and he will remind you to sleep when you should, no buts y/n

if you tell him you cant just drift off, he’ll always offer to sing you to sleep

and when you do, he’ll take lots of pictures to treasure the little moments he has with you

some people tell him he looks too deeply in love

but he doesnt really see anything wrong with it because it was with you

chenle completely knows that he loves you so much, and he’s willing to love you until forever

[princessmyriad]

Any systems out there that have maybe advice or anecdotes about non-corporeal alters, please if you feel comfortable sharing im in a tight spot and could use guidance:

So, I am a ghost. When we were little our hosts had always been human, during our teen years i co-hosted with a human. During our late teens/early 20s i was considered less of a co-host and more of just only being out when we interacted with our abuser, and the human co-host became the only host for a while. Since then that human is no longer host and isnt able to be considered co-host anymore (atleast not for the forseeable future until we get therapy and can unpack some stuff for her) and the role of host falls solely on me. The ghosty hostess with the mostess 😎

So basically tl;dr the first part, ive been in the body fairly often before but its only the last few months i have been here all the time with 'just me' (obv not including random switches/lurking but like i mean in a sense of the body primarily belonging only to me without a break.)

The body deals with a l o t of chronic pain.

Basically i had some thoughts recently where i couldnt tell if i could feel the body pains more these days just because i dont have a co-host/have someone to take it from me when its overwhelming, or because im becoming more connected with the idea of having physicality? Or the pain is just worse/increased because whatever is causing the pain hasnt been medically adressed and my condition has decreased. I have recently stopped taking my uh, 🍀 medication due to financial reasons and since not having it the body just feels worse and worse every day, i honestly didnt realise just how much it was doing for me in regards to just like. Allowing me to go for a tiny 10min slow paced walk without wishing to scream and howl in pain with every step. To let me function, essentially, on a physical pain management scale.

The last two ideas stress me out. I still feel like a ghost, not to get too personal but my ghost form wasnt formed out of a near death experience it was out of a need to have certain words and events 'go through me,' and a deep connected sense of lonelyness and abandonment like those things and people and places who are gone and forgotten. And i carry much trauma related to those feelings which i will not be going into detail about here. But the thought that i have been in this body so long by myself, and have over the last few years found friends and connections to other physical people i want to be around, couldve caused/be causing me to slowly become less ghost and more physically real? That scares and worries me. I still very much feel like i need to be ghost to stop us getting hurt in that way. I worry if i become corporeal, it will be easy for other people to hurt us in that same way again. I worry if i am corporeal that i will have to deal with the bodys physical pains much more intensely than i already do if i am so connected to it, and that i cannot do what i do best to allow painful things to pass through me. Like im made of nothing but smoke because i essentially am. Thats my entire reason for being. I worry if this is the case and im becoming a more physical embodiment of my former self that its out of my control and i dont get a choice. Because i would chose to stay ghost if i could.

The other option is also scary. The body is only 24 years old dude. It shouldnt hurt this much all the time over comparatively small tasks. Or no tasks. It shouldnt hurt this much just to be 'alive'. And if it is because the condition has progressed since the last time i was aware of the body for real and ive gotten worse? Thats almost too much to think about. How quickly is it progressing? Why cant i do anything to stop it? Why wont doctors do anything to stop it, or atleast identify it so i can work on managing it myself? Ive only ever split once (personally i mean not as a system) and the poor entity is full of medical trauma. It makes it so hard to keep going to doctors to keep begging them to take me seriously when they never do. Its so much pain and effort (let alone money) and exhaustion just to get to a doctor. Not even a specialist just a gp. Only for them to tell me every time that i brush my hair and dress nicely and usually wear makeup and i couldn't possibly be struggling in any way, especially physically. Its too much effort, more effort than its worth for that. So i dont really go to a doctor any more, but i need to, i need just one of them to take me fucking seriously. Because i have no good way of knowing if this pain seems so new and intense to me because im more 'real' (physical) than i ever was, or because there is more pain.

Both options suck

So yeah idk any ghostly entities or fluid/non-corporeal/shadow type alters, do you have advice how to tell if you might be becoming physical? Or those of you who used to be floaty who did transition into a more 'sturdy' being, what did it feel like? When did you know you werent the concept of see-through anymore? Do you prefer not having a graspable form? How has this change benefited your sys?

Idk i have a lot of questions just any sort of advice might be helpful here bc im having a rough time lately managing physical body pain in relation to the literal reason i exist and if i still exist like that.

[nyan-koii]

Hashira ft. Sabito as genshin impact players

aunotes : Bad grammar ahead! I didnt proofread it so be aware of brain damage. plus i initially wrote it at the 1.6 update

PART 1 : T.Muichiro, R.Kyojuro, K.Shinobu, S.Sanemi, U.Tengen 

Muichiro : he probably would be uninterested at first. He's more to first person shooting game or anything other than this concept of farming or investing. So that's why when he saw yuichirou banging his fist on his desk, trying to get his fav character, he would simply just watch

"Fck this game, i've had enough,"

"But you havent finish your wishing things yet,"

Stares. "How about you give it a try mui. You might get the character i want,"

"You sure about that? You might get angry at me," "better than nothing. Now go go, get em you donkey,"

His first ten pulls on the game brings out a light we all want to see

"Eh is tha-" "AAAA A FUCKING 5 STAR FCK FCKFCK,"

Apparently, it was one of the luckiest wish yuichiro had ever seen so far

"OHMYFUCK, you GOT A GODDAMN KLEE, QIQI AND SUCROSE WTFF???"

"I think i get your fav character?"

"Yeahh!! More than that to be honest. I want klee but you brought me two more person," sniffles and cries "you're really lucky mui. You should try and play the game,"

"It's probably the system. I doubt im that lucky tho,"

Nah, he really is lucky. Apparently he wished for his friends and got what they all really wanted for so long

"Thank you for getting me the aquila favonia, muichiro,"

"It's nothing really. I just simply press the button. It might be the system that's giving you the thing you want when i wish,"

"But still, even if i were to wish, i can get really scared and paranoid over it,"

"That's bad. You shouldnt invest yourself that much in the game tanjiro. It's just a game,"

"Ehehehe, i guess so. But you're really good at it muichiro! If you download it, we can play together :D!"

!!!!

It took the word "play together" to get muichiro down on his knee for that game. Usually the idea of playing with your friends is not that interesting. So when tanjiro said that, you bet he's going to play it

Type of player

Extremely lucky it's not even real. He got a five star on the beginner's banner

Fast farming. He probably will complete all the quest and become an endgame player within one month

"I just wanted to play with tanjiro..." bashfully

He's really good with whatever he's doing. Attack combo, dodging, elemental reaction and all sorts of stuff. If he invest more of his time on artifacts, he would probably even one shot it!!

He's very lucky. Very

Kyojuro : he wouldnt even know the existence of this game. Well, he took a glimpse of it one day and boom, heart stolen. Maybe it was the fiery burning passion in bennett that made him play the game.

'oh wow!! What a determined young boy! Even though he has a very bad luck he still keep pushing forward! Amazing!!'

'I want to be like him'

Kyojuro's the type of player to read and pay attention to every single lore of his fav character. Bennett, oh my how he wish he could've had bennett in his team. Every wishes he made would make him a c6 bennett main if only barbara wont stop coming home

"I really like you barbara but i dont want you!! Thank you for the c6 though!! I promise to use you in the future but just-" he prepares to wish

"not NOW!!" Clicks

The highest con of bennett he had ever gotten is probably c1. One day the paimon's bargain shop offered bennett as their monthly character. Kyojuro had never been so excited over a game before. He usually perks up over academics and not this kind of thing. But it's bennett, the character he admires the most.

Unfortunately he couldnt get it due to low currency. He had never feel so sad in his life.

"I shall not give up. Dont worry, i will be a c6 bennett main!!!"

He will be a c6 bennett haver!!

Type of player :

Carefully reads every stories and listens to their lines attentively. He finds it amazing how the company spent their everything on this game. It amazes him. From the stories, lores and lines, he truly appreciates it.

Balance his team pretty well. He mains bennett so he doesnt need that much of a healer in his team.

Enjoys bennett's hangout very much!! He tried to not get him killed by the dungeon's trap but ended up having to sacrifice him which ultimately ends the route. He had never felt so down and guilty before.

Not much of a damage dealer. He prefers to play it in normal mode and doesnt care that much about one shotting monster.

He feeds his character three meals a day!! If only there's a sleep option, he would be sending bennett to sleep first before the rest.

Everyone loves his teapot

Shinobu : found the game while she's scrolling through the app store out of boredom. Initially she played it on her phone but due to the fps and a really bad ping, so bad that douma wouldnt find her interesting anymore, she finally downloaded the game on her pc where things has starting to get real

"Ara, shinobu chan, it's lunch time already. Come downstairs please,"

"Sis give me five more minutes, JUST FIVE PLEASE I NEED TO KICK CHILDE's ASS,"

"he's not going anywhere sweetie,"

"yEAHH BUT MY BP IS,"

'Bp?'

"DIE DIE DIE!!" Aggresive clicking intensifies

"Shinobu chan dont hurt the keyboard that much!!"

She got lucky on the beginner's banner too and pulled a 5 star along with bennett and noelle. Who's the 5 star? Diluc Ragnvindr in all of his glory. Shinobu benched him sadly. She prefers sword over any other weapon

"I mean he's cool i guess but i just really dont get that 'WOAHHH COOL' vibe from him you know?"

"then give your diluc to me! I really want him so bad shinobu chan!"

Deep sighs "yeah sure. You can have my c2 diluc mitsuri..."

Loses 50/50 to diluc everytime everyone would think she either is lucky or cursed by the amount of that man greeting him on the screen. She still bench him though, sadly

"Im begging you, give me jEANN THE GRANDMASTER I NEED HEALER iN MY PARTY TO DO ABYSS

Type of player :

Suffers a lot in the abyss because she just want the primos which is a valid reason to do because that's the only thing that keeps her going

She's a sword character main. She'll properly build every character as either support or dps. The support would be kaeya and bennett, and her main dps ayaka

Ayaka main btw

Honestly at some point she wanted to quit the game because of how tiring it is but then inazuma came out

Fragile resin = 0

Resin = 160/160 happens once in a blue moon

"i should probably control myself with the amount of resin i've used,"

"But i cant,"

Hates domain but always can be seen playing in there

Only coops if mitsuri is there

"So that someone can calm me down,"

"That's not a really good reason shinobu chan,"

Sanemi : dude probably know the game through obanai. He watched the latter play and finds it interesting on how high the numbers he dealt. He loves challenges so a game like genshin impact would probably satisfy his need.

"Obanai, are you hearing this shit?"

"What is it sanemi, im busy doing this event,"

"That loser giyuu is also playing the game,"

"Oh yeah i know,"

"YOU KNOW? WHY YOU DIDNT TELL ME??"

"i just know right after you told me,"

"...."

Sanemi's a meta but a mediocre one. He's meta but he doesnt show it that much. Probably buys welkin once in every three months or when he really needs it same goes with battle pass too. Honestly, he really just use his money when he really needs something

"Donno if my allowance can buy me a welkin so i'll probably skip,"

"But the next banner is zhongli's,"

"....."

"Ah fuck it," buys

My man cant dodge after he got zhongli. Its very painful because he used to studies the enemies movement in the early game so that he can utilizes it on the team but zhongli's shield is so tank he forgot that dodging exists

"Im gonna kill you and you and you hhahaahhaah just you wait im gonna shred all of yo- oh shit zhongli's shield. puT IT BACK PUT IT BACK ON,"

That one event where zhongli's shield plays an important role in the domain? Yeah, he felt like a god at that time. Even got his c2 on his rerun. Sanemi just really like zhongli because it kinda reminds him of himejima. Calm and wise and strong too. He looks up on that kind of person

"Zhongli sama, im in debt for all of your hard work protecting my team," bows and wipes tears

Type of player :

Spends a little money on the game to get what he wants

Zhongli main

Is that one player that has hoards of food but doesnt even use it

"Why need healer when you have zhongli's shield,"

Compare to kyojuro, he doesnt even touch the teapot because he finds it ridiculous and bothersome to create and design everything in it

Loves one shotting bosses and compares it to giyuu. He ask for advices from obanai regarding team build supports and stuffs

Doesnt do character's story quest. The key is full every single time. He unlocks it but leaves the quest like that.

"Ah shit, i accidentally activate the quest,"

His friend list only has obanai in it. Whenever people sent him friend request, he wouldnt hesitate, more like wouldnt care to accept it

They either have to coop in obanai's world or his world and after that, unfriend immediately

Says thank you after coop because he has manners and then completely disappears

"Zhongli main forever,"

Tengen : played since 1.0 this madlad has been staying loyal to the game ever since. Quite huge amount of money he spend on this game to be honest but he never gets broke by it. You can see his regular donation to the game by purchasing welkin and battle pass and some genesis crystal too. He's loaded with money, he didnt know what to do with it.

Uzui also plays honkai impact and guns girl Z so when he saw the unknown god at the intro , he was not surprised.

"Oh we have to pick between the siblings? Cool cool co- oh hi kiana,"

"Thats so herrscher of void hahahahah,"

Although he is a loyal fan to MihoYo games, he lost his composure when he saw the 1st genshin anniversary reward because what was that. Imagine getting billions of money and they give us this? Tengen cant believe this shit

"Oh god wtf was that reward, i have to draw to get a welkin and some primos?? aND I ALSO HAVE TO BE LUCKY? WHAT-"

"WHERE'S MY FREE MONA,"

In need of mona. He needs mona so bad he literally spent his money on standard banner to get mona but always ends up with qiqi. Not that he's complaining but he just wants the astrologist to complete the support team

"GOD QIQI YOU AGAIN? WTF WFF WTF-" converts genesis crystal to primigems

"Tengen, you should control yourself!"

"SHUT UP KYOJURO, IM GONNA WASTE MY MONEY TILL I GET HER,"

"yeah but my f2p ass is hurting with how many bennett cons you got," droops

Tengen sees potential in every character. Everyone has their weakness and strength so when kokomi comes out, he diss her at first but then realize maybe its a new way for a character. Adds the uniqueness if he may say so.

"Meh i dont care honestly. You guys should pull whoever you find nice or beautiful. Like me ;)"

"Who do you main uzui?"

"Beidou,"

Type of player

Spoils the storylines, lores, leaks A LOT THE REST HAVE TO BLOCK HIM ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Speed runs the game and has become an endgame player ever since but he still does his daily commission and helps people with domains and stuffs

R5 every battle pass weapon

Fights azhdaha for fun and to test out his characters rather than ruin guards and stuff

Mona wanter

Puts traveller as the pfp and doesnt display any showcase of his characters and namecards. You can only see his achievements and spiral abyss ( 12-3 ). Says its for fun and mystery

Throws a lot of pickup lines and roleplays a lot. Spams your chatbox messages with stickers and censored stuffs

Probably steals your ores and exotic things like violetgrass, qingxin and silk flowers

Screams in the chatbox whenever he saw Mona until Kyojuro had to calm him down

Changes signature every single time and sometimes put spoilers in it

In every survey he would complain "MihoYo where the fuck is my Mona,"

Doesnt heals his characters

[jungledubs-archive]

If you don't mind me asking, how does your system work?

muahaha you have activated my trap card!! infodump!! we love talking about our system sooooo...

we are a polyfragmented praesigenic system with 2 hosts! which probably means nothing to you so lemme break it down rq. polyfragmented basically means u have a lot of headmates and you get new ones real easy and frequently. we get like 15 headmates a month on average. it’s ridiculous. we’ve gained 12 empires fictives in the last. four days or something. there are currently 164 of us. help. praesigenic is our origins, it’s a very fancy word that means “we refuse to answer the question” because we think origin discourse is stupid and therefore you shouldnt need to know our origins for any reason. and also its a neat word. and then hosts are basically the head honchos of the system, the definition is flexible but for us it’s sorta the people that front the most and know the most about what’s going on in the system at any given time. those are me (nigel) and michael. michael Never leaves front, so he’s our main host and i’m his co-host.

how this all works is basically a very loose shrug. we have collective memory most of the time, though sometimes it takes a few minutes to catch up, and we can pretty clearly sense the feelings of other headmates. sometimes we can even hear other headmates’ thoughts if they’re thinking loud enough. often that ends up with a lot of “oh my god hvitur stop thinking about orpheus’ biceps you have been doing it all morning and it’s SO LOUD” (true story). our headspace, as you can probably tell from our system name, is an infinite jungle. all the trees are about 10x the size of regular jungle trees, so we mostly parkour everywhere and live in treehouses.

when someone’s around and talking to people and influencing what we’re doing, they’re in front/fronting/a fronter! the area of headspace where someone has to be to front is called. well. the front. our front is a large treehouse with a leaf roof and a star trek-style control panel, as well as some bookshelves, beanbag chairs, a couch, and a round table, among other things. the control panel is what actually controls the body and such--whoever’s up there is the main fronter, and then everybody else hangs around and offers input and comments. this front room also has michael’s office attached to it--so mike never leaves front, but he has his own space (his office) where he spends most of his time. he’s still aware of everything happening irl though, and sometimes even somehow types his own messages from the other room. headmates that are not in the front room are less aware of what’s going on in front the further away they are (for example, there is a porch outside, and sometimes people hang out out there and they can still hear things but they’re not really in front). people way out in headspace are only aware of things if they want to be, i.e. someone said their name and they want to yell something up as a response. if you ever see someone from our system add something to a conversation and it has [faintly] in front, that usually means that they’re not actually in front and are yelling up from somewhere else.

there’s not a lot that we have... organized? i know some systems have an actual like fronting schedule and stuff or a host schedule or whatever but we just don’t. we vibe, stuff usually works out, if things go badly then mike will use his funky host-gatekeeper powers and remove people from front or add protectors to front or something. we don’t like to force stuff, it’ll fix itself eventually is sort of our general policy.

hope that’s a good overview, if you have more specific questions about anything please feel free to ask!! our system is deadass like a hyperfixation of ours at this point, we could infodump about us for hours. so please dont hold questions back we do love answering them /g

[antiloreolympus]

9 Anti LO Asks

1. anyone else notice echo is colored similar to hades too? so hades has the hots for a tiny hot pink variant of his mom, and hera (apparently) wants to sleep around with a female version of hades? rachel you know there are other colors, right? tell me you know that

2. hi, im someone who dated someone who was extremely hateful but considered me one of the "good ones" of my race: hera doing that with echo is extremely dehumanizing and, seeing as nymphs are a different race in LO, really racist! i understand there's no actually IRL races involved in LO, but the fantasy racism allegory is still there, and they all look bad! very, very bad! why am i not surprised the well off white lady would have unintentionally bad race takes in her comic! big yikes!

3. server x royal and boss x worker is VERY popular on webtoons in general, but at the very least the majority of them are all 21+ characters with emphasis on them being, well, adults. LO stands out because hades is depicted so much like an old man even by WT standards (40s according to RS) and persephone is ... not, she in canon is stuck at 19, so she's more akin to a high school MC than the MCs from adult/sex-filled romance comics that LO tries to be. It's kinda creepy for that fact, tbh.

4. with recent anons i have to say again that it's unlikely RS puts any of the harmful shit into her work with any ill intent. she's just ignorant and also doesn't think. except maybe that classism because it's so blatant that it's hard to believe RS really doesn't notice it??? is she ever going to bring it up??

5. thats what i dont get about the stans. they've been flooding every single mythology and pagan tag for years now where they shouldnt be, they've harassed and threatened pagans and greeks for not bowing to LO and RS's "genius", they've tried to tamper with actual wikipedia pages, and have doxxed and sent death/r*pe threats to critics and fans alike, but they act like tumblr having a broken tag system is our fault and we must accommodate them? these are grown adults acting like entitled children.

6. i dunno if anyone remembers the "Our company's Women of Color" meme that was just a bunch of white women in rainbow-colored shirts, but ... lore olympus. that's lore olympus. i havent seen that meme since 2015 but its LO to a fault. rachel thinks women of color means purple and pink.

7. wait is rs going to make hera x echo a canon thing? didnt hera torture and basically magic murder echo in myth? how is that a healthy relationship? then again this whole comic is about romanticizing a r*pist and his kidnapping and forced marriage of his victim into a "love story", so i guess its not shocking rachel has some bad takes on "improved" pairings for her girlboss, karen version of hera.

8. As a response to your most recent anon, as a Greek myself, the story is just the same old boring cliche of romanticizing a part of our mythology, same as Percy Jackson or Song of Achilles (another cheap attempt of making profit out of a culture that doesn't belong to them, but eh)...Our mythology has been SO overused and 'defiled' that honestly, it is mostly makes me indifferent than it makes me displeased..Not only Americans but also Europeans have been leeching off of our cultural history for EONS and no matter what we do, they will continue to do so...my word of advice to anyone thinking they are offending Greece or smthng by enjoying these pieces of media is that it is okay if you like them, some of us like them too, some of us don't, it happens..just remember that whatever you read is most certainly a retelling and that the actual material is much less 'enjoyable'

9. So I dropped Lore Olympus a while back...I liked it at first, considering it just a simple piece of media to consume but some people criticizing it had some really good points...so after some consideration I stopped reading it..but lemme just say, the death threats and blatant hate ain't it..it is entirely possible to like a story AND being able to see the flaws in it...all the antis sending death threats to fan content creators and calling fans "apologists" was too extreme...everyone is allowed to have their own opinion on the media they choose to consume and sending hate to one another is a completely pointless notion🤷

[branzycrafted]

that syscourse post just came up on our recommended which i find so ironic bc i read the post saying littles shouldnt have social media while scrolling through my own social media account as a little like. oh. ok.

its such a weird take like. i had to be the host for a while so it was fine for me to be in high school and working a job, but not to be online? like? i drove us to school at 6am but i cant look at #webkinz on tumblr?

and not to mention like. if we see dangerous things, we switch. and even if we cant switch, i can deal with it enough to block them or get the post off our dash. even if im small i still live in an almost adult system and i still understand what the brain understands and know some of what the brain knows, and that includes stuff like curse words ill see online and what tags i should block so i dont see weird things. if im ever fronting "alone," austin is usually there by default so theres still an adult alter to help if i need it, and if he isnt or if its too blurry, i was still a host and had to have times where i took care of myself and protected myself otherwise we wouldnt have gotten by during the time i was our host. and when im like smaller i have like an army of people who adopted me as their younger sibling (/hj) to monitor anything that we come across online, and theyre all adults/older people and most of them are protectors whos focus on fronting with me is to keep my spaces safe.

like. even the syskids that act like real children like toby and like me half the time, our brain has still seen what its seen and knows what it knows, we wont like discover bad stuff through social media, we were traumatized to be here and know bad stuff exists bc we went through it. and we know how to handle ourselves to survive and to function, i wouldnt have been a host if i couldnt do that. theres syskids with multiple roles and syskids who are hosts and syskids who are older or agesliders and syskids who are protectors and syskids who just know how to take care of the system, and in general, syskids arent like singlet kids in the sense that we have the lived experience of an older person and the brain of an older person. a 6 yr old singlet didnt go to highschool, i did, i can handle myself online and talk to people like im older even if im not bc our brain is still older than me and at the end of the day its also my brain. im a kid, but im not helpless. it would be more dangerous for null to be online than it would for me, or for bug despite them being an adult. an alter's vulnerability and capability has nothing to do with age.

they were so confident like it was such a hot take and such a good cool thing like it was so profound but it was so not. like. literally not at all

-🌼

(I hope you don't mind me answering like this let me know otherwise!!)

YEAH!!! Literally I saw that and was like "Well I literally know of child alters who don't act like little kids like you apparently think they all do", they were so confident in their take and the replies were like lol you're so wrong

We have adults in-sys who have been more vulnerable than the children sometimes???? It's so not about age?????? And again it's REALLY bold to go out and claim that every system ever that lets their littles/syskids touch social media is an idiot and not keeping them safe. Cause that also is So Wrong!! As far as I know we've had syskids on social media to some degree while actively being with someone that was watching over them??

Also!! Body age goes above alter age!! That goes both ways, it goes for adults in minor-bodied systems and minors in adult-or-almost-adult-bodied systems or whatever. A 9 year old in a system that's like 20 bodily would not at all be on the same level as a singlet 9 year old—

I recall one reply saying they should replace it with "vulnerable alters" if anything and yeah I to some extent agree, like still not necessary 100% true but it's better than just broadly saying littles/syskids. Literally just,, any alter considered vulnerable can do whatever it's just that they should have someone with them to keep them stable or safe or vice versa.

And again I think it's so hypocritical how they said "let the kids live" but were actively making a point that would not be "letting the kids live" cause like you said if you wanna go on social media to look at webkinz you should be allowed to, that's literally "letting the kids live", letting them look at things that bring them some kind of happiness or comfort. "Let the kids live but actually don't just coop them up in headspace cause they're oh so unsafe otherwise" lol

Grrrr child alter can literally work a job but can't go on social media to look at content relating to a kid's game >:((( WE'RE HERE BECAUSE OF TRAUMA BUDDY LIGHTEN UP A LITTLE