#and i can do other things like listen to podcasts or music or watch a show while i do it

[daughterofsarenrae]

one unfortunate thing about me is that i've stumbled into hyperfixating on. the 2024 election. so that's fun

[lucifer-kane]

from the outside looking in games like final fantasy online and destiny 2 and similar games look really engaging and fun but the thing about me is the idea of paying for expansions and or a subscription fee or both is horrible. and the concept of raids? even worse.

on the flipside i sometimes think about actually updating overwatch 2 bc i miss playing overwatch but really i miss playing old overwatch. i miss when it was good. overwatch is such a game i can turn my brain off and listen to music/podcasts on without sacrificing skill. it's such a easy game to be decent at lmao

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I kind of want to do a temperature blanket, but I don't care about the temperature, so I'm trying to think of something along the same format that's not as boring as temperature. I'm thinking maybe moon phases? I considered sunrise and sunset time, but it would require a lot of yarn and I'm not sure exactly how I would format it. Any ideas?

[remi-thirsts]

𝐅𝐀𝐕 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍?

pairing: gojo, geto, choso, and toji x fem!reader (separate) summary: celeb!au where the boys are interviewed and asked a pretty personal question ! (I took nanami out bc I don't think he would want to share your business with the world) content: kinda suggestive, established relationships, allusions to sexual themes, mentions of dacryphyilia in toji's, pet names, cursing, celebrity!au (model, singer, actor, etc) wc: 1.4k

♡ 𝐒. 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎

"Yes, yes! Thank you for joining us today, Gojo-san. All of your fans are excited to see you play the new lead role in this upcoming movie!" For the past hour Gojo has been answering questions many of his fans have with an interviewer who has gathered some of the most asked questions.

"Next question!" The women exclaims excitedly, when she reads the card she pauses in shock, "Um.. who put this card in there...?" Now the white haired actor was curious.

"Well, what does it say? I'm sure it can't be that bad." His cocky attitude is showing, but a huge percentage of his fans like when he's like this. It makes fantasizing him all the more creative and exciting; or so you hear.

"Uh...uh. Um-" She remembers the camera is rolling, and this is live TV. "Many fans know you have a girlfriend and a lot of them want to ask,

"What is your favorite position?"

Gojo knew his PR team would probably get on his ass for answering this question instead of moving on to a different one but he doesn't care- at all.

"This is a tough one... hm. I guess if I had to choose I'd say cowgirl. I love the way she rides," he pauses for a second before continuing with excitement, "She's hella good at it too! Every time I watch her bounce on it my eyes about roll to the back of my-"

"OKAY. Thank you, Mr. Gojo!" She interrupts, quickly turning to the camera with a very forced smile.

"There you have it! We'll be back after a brief commercial break!"

♡ 𝐒. 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎

Your boyfriend, Suguru, started a podcast about his music life with his band mates two years ago. Since his group already had quite a huge fan base, it was no surprise they took to their podcast with excitement.

Usually the group would talk about funny backstage stories or moments where their performances were almost ruined. Today they're doing a Q&A, the questions that are most asked will be answered first, while less popular questions will be answered later.

"Oh shit, people wanna know Suguru." He quirks an eyebrow, the raven haired male leans his mic towards his lips so the people can hear his voice.

"Know what?" A sly smirk forms on his face because he knows there could be at least a million things 'the people wanna know.'

"They wanna know what's your favorite position to have your girl in." The lead singer snickers whilst asking the question. Suguru clicks his tongue and taps on the desk a few times.

"I really like to have her legs behind her head cuz I can reach really deep that way."

"Sooo, mating press?" Their lead singer is just as nosy as their fans so of course he's gonna press on.

"Hell yeah, man." Some of them clap and others laugh at Suguru's openness.

-----

You were really busy but you decided to tune into your boyfriend's podcast after a bunch of people tagged you on twitter to go listen to today's episode.

When you hear Suguru tell all 2 million of his podcast listeners what position he likes to fuck you in, you scream into your pillow and turn into a giggling mess.

He never knows how to keep his mouth shut, and you love it.

♡ 𝐂. 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎

You're laying on your boyfriend's bed listening to him play his game. Choso's a big time streamer at this point. Four years ago when he started his fan base was quite small and he just enjoyed the few who would join his gaming streams. Now, Choso streams as work and he still loves it just as much as he had long ago.

"Thank you for the tip 'prettyem0b0y22'," Usually Choso reads aloud whatever message they leave with their tips but he hesitates this time.

"Uh- you don't really expect me to answer that, right? She's laying on the bed right now."

That statement immediately grabs your attention, you glance at his monitor screens, trying to get a peek at whatever his fan was asking of him.

It seems plenty of others want to know the answer to this question too because the chat starts speeding up, meaning that they're spamming.

"Guys come on, I'll turn chat off if you guys don't stop." Choso is as scary as a cute little kitten, so they just keep at it, and now you're curious too. What could possibly be that bad that he didn't want to answer it and to be fair he has answered some pretty crazy questions before.

"Indulge me Cho, what did 'prettyem0b0y22' wanna know?" His head swings so fast he could have gotten whiplash from it. His cheeks are burning pink and his brows furrow in confusion.

"I promise it wasn't anything crazy, don't worry about it." Oh, you're worrying about it alright. His strange behavior prompts you to spring up off the bed and walk your way over to his desk.

Instead of just taking a quick look at the chat, you make yourself comfortable in your boyfriend's lap. Obviously the chat goes absolutely crazy when they see you make this gesture. Choso is no doubt embarrassed but he slings an arm around your waist anyway.

"So what was the question he couldn't answer in front of me?" Prettyem0b0y22 wastes no time sending another hefty tip.

"I asked him what's his fav postion with you." When you read the whole thing aloud some giggles leave your lips.

"He likes when I ride him while facing him. For what reason? He's a titty man." Choso gasps as you expose both of you. The risks are high, anyone, literally anyone could see this clip and think something about you, but you don't care. It's your body and his, people don't have power over how you two interact with each other.

The chat explodes with all kinds of things, most are shocked emojis, while others are spamming the cherry emoji. Luckily, Choso's moderator team puts slow chat on and does a few other precautions to settle the situation.

"Baby- I- what if your family sees this? Or worse your boss?!" His concern is absolutely adorable.

"Well I guess I'd have to start a streaming channel of my own?" Everyone in his chat is totally on board with that idea. They've seen you play for Choso before and they think your commentary on games is quite funny.

"I don't want you to lose your job though." This time he whines in pure worry.

"I won't, baby. It'll be alright. Don't overthink it."

♡ 𝐓. 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎

Toji's got what people want to see in model catalogs and magazines. The slutty waist, the well defined but not too defined muscles, his beautiful eyes and long lashes. Toji is a picture perfect model, which is what landed him his modeling gig and even a whole career a few years later.

A journalist, who's particularly interested in his dating life more than his modeling career asks him a bunch of dating related questions.

Some have speculated that Toji was dating, but he neither confirmed nor denied those allegations. You and Toji agreed to keep your relationship on the down low, because having a bunch of strangers in your personal business was not desirable.

The journalist woman words the questions in a way of inference.

"Assuming you had a girlfriend, Fushiguro-sama. What would your favorite position in bed be?" At first Toji groans but then when he registers the question he decides he'll answer it hypothetically when in reality it is something he likes to do with you.

"Hypothetically speaking, if I had a girlfriend my favorite position with her would be missionary, because I'd want to look at her pretty face when she's cryin' on my cock." The journalist writes that down, Toji knows everything he says will be censored but the people will still be able to figure it out.

"Missionary, really? Many people online have guessed you were a doggy-style kind of guy. Based off of your twitter statement that said and I quote 'Love it when her ass is phat. Love squeezing that thing.' End quote"

Toji lets out a deep laugh before answering the woman, "Doggy-style is for people I don't care about, people I don't want to look at, my girl- if I had a girl, she wouldn't be just any fuck."

More theories start to surface after Toji's slip up of words, and that's okay, because they don't know you and you don't know them.

divider: @/plutism

[vandijkwrites]

sorry if you've already answered this 700 times, in which case totally feel free to ignore. but how do you lengthen your attention span? is it as simple as watching/reading progressively longer things?

First of, I am by no means an expert, but I'm happy to help as much as I can! There are a lot of great articles, books, and podcasts on the topic if you want any further info.

The most important thing to realize is why are attention spans are getting worse:

Information overload and distractions make it difficult to focus. (Ex. social media and text notification going off while you are doing other tasks)

Intentional multitasking gets your brain used to doing more than one thing at once so it becomes very difficult to make it do only one thing (Ex. having the tv on in the background while doing other tasks)

Consuming a lot of media focused on having minimal downtime and immediate gratification decreases our patience and ability to do slower tasks (Ex. watching a lot of action packed movies and short TikToks)

Getting constant small hits of dopamine from social media decreases our ability to do tasks that don't give us dopamine hits (Ex. getting likes from a post or messages from friends)

The solutions to most of these come down to two things: (1) Do only one thing at a time (2) Limit distractions from that task (3) Reduce immediate gratification

So some example of ways to do that would be:

Read a book without your phone being on hand to distract you.

Watch TV without multitasking.

Reduce time on social media, especially social media focused on short videos.

Spend a day or part of a day without technology.

Spend time with friends without looking at your phone.

Watch slow-form content like unedited lecture or panel videos where people are just speaking at their normal pace without cutting pauses.

Listen to music albums all the way through instead of shuffling and skipping.

Eat meals without multitasking (ie mindful eating)

Make yourself a cup of tea and sit on a park bench or by the window and watch some birds.

People-watch at the coffee shop.

Write long emails or letters to friends and family instead of short texts.

Call and have a conversation with a loved one without multitasking.

Meditate.

Take a walk and enjoy nature.

Don't scroll through your phone while waiting in a line.

Read long posts when you come across them on your dashboard.

Have an ebook on your phone to read whenever you would normally scroll through social media.

Don't go on your phone/online for a certain amount of time before bed.

If you are having trouble doing these things, try to do one tasks but increase the stimuli of that task. For example, read a book while listening to the audiobook at the same time. Or listen to music while watching a lyric video. These are great baby steps!

Another great baby step is (like you said in your question) doing things for progressively longer amounts of time! Set a timer for a certain number of minutes and then read without distraction for that amount of time. That way it won't feel like it is never ending and you can track your progress.

Obviously not all of these will be for everyone and some of these are too hard for people with ADHD or serious attention issues, but they are a good place to start!

I hope that helps 💕

[kairologia]

How to start your day according to your rising sign.

Your ascendant/first house represents the sign that was rising above the eastern horizon on the moment of your birth. However, within a broader cosmological framework, where houses each represent a different time of the day according to where the sun is, the First House represents the time of the day where the sun had just risen above the horizon. After a bit of experimenting, I have come to the conclusion that the best way to start your day is to align your early morning activities with those associated with your rising sign’s ruling planet. Here I explain how.

· Aries rising: start your day with a stimulating activity, something that gets you fired up and ready to engage with the day ahead. A workout session, a morning run, some stretching, or something as simple as a walk under the sun. Either way, you’d better get moving as soon as you get out of bed. Avoid getting your most challenging tasks of the day done as early as you wake up — rather, start with the simplest tasks and work your way up as a form of motivation.

· Taurus rising: take as much time as you need to get up. You have your entire day ahead of you, so make sure your morning remains a leisurely time — though I advise you to write a list of tasks down to make sure you have a roadmap of your day planned ahead. No matter how busy things get, make sure you at least start your day with a generous breakfast while enjoying your surroundings by eating in a balcony or somewhere you feel cozied up and relaxed. Investing in a morning skin care routine that works for you can only prove to be beneficial.

· Gemini rising: immediately engage in some mental stimulation. read a few chapters of a book, listen to a podcast, read some news, watch a video. Hell, even scrolling through social media wouldn’t hurt. Give your brain some much needed dopamine shots to get it going. If you’re learning a new language, try to memorize a couple words every morning. If you’re a student, try to study a bit right after waking up. If you have some manual tasks planned, get them done first thing in the morning.

· Cancer rising: schedule your morning routine around moon phases & transits. There are certain lunar transits (cardinal signs) or phases (new moon) where I would recommend starting your day with a workout and energy demanding activities, whereas on other transits (fixed signs) or phases (full moon), I would recommend taking things one step at a time, waking up gently, having a warm cup of your favourite drink, taking a bath, cooking, doing some gardening, and enjoying a relaxing morning before starting your day.

· Leo rising: Make sure that each morning is «you» time and let nothing get in the way of that. Soak up some sun light, start your day with positive affirmations, do 10 minutes of dancing, listen to music, meditate, draw a bit. Get yourself in the mood where you feel most confident and yourself, as there’s one watching you — you’re performing for no one but yourself. Self-care can mean many things and you need to find the form that works best for you. If you enjoy doing make up, do a creative look. If you like reading, read. You can even adapt your morning routine according to the sun’s transits.

· Virgo rising: it goes without saying that starting off your day with some journaling, list making, intention setting, tidying your place up and task planning can prove to be globally beneficial for everyone, but even more so for Virgo risings. You need as much mental stimulation as Gemini risings, if only with some added structure to it. Put yourself in the right mood where you can be productive instantly, get your tasks done starting with the most difficult ones so you'll have the rest of entire day for yourself, and remember to take breaks. It’s still early in the morning, after all!

· Libra rising: your mornings set the tone for the rest of your day — so make sure your day starts off on a harmonious note. Create a classical music playlist & play it every morning, have a nice breakfast – a nice drink and your favourite treat, do some pilates, read a couple page of a book you love, set your intentions for the day, do some bird watching, take a walk in a nearby green space or riverside and enjoy the aesthetics of nature & the scenery, choose an elegant outfit and pair it up with some jewelry & a nice perfume. Harmony is a balanced act that can easily be disturbed so make sure you keep your mornings free of external disturbances.

· Scorpio rising: you will benefit from starting your day gradually, & at a very measured pace. Try to weed out the eventuality that unexpected disruptions may arise (as that might disturb your inner balance & emotional state) by establishing firm boundaries and prioritizing activities that bring you joy & contentment. Any activities that promote focus, introspection, and empowerment would be great — namely journaling, meditation, deep breathing exercises to center yourself, or a 30 minutes workout session. If you enjoy writing, write down your feelings in the form of prose or poetry. Lists will also help you stay structured throughout the day & ensure you won’t spend it entirely inside your head.

· Sagittarius rising: start your day by doing some manifestation. Pick a method you prefer, and make sure you spend at least 5 minutes manifesting and setting intentions for the day ahead, as well as some long-term goal you’re working on. If you’re into philosophy, read a few pages of a philosophical book of your choice first thing in the morning. If you enjoy language learning, spend ~30 minutes learning new notions teaching yourself a full lesson. Drawing or making a moodboard can also help you manifest for the day. A morning walk where you take in your surroundings will also help you get into the right mood.

· Capricorn rising: buy a planner, and start your mornings by writing down your to-do list. Make sure you also have a couple pages dedicated to short term projects, and long term projects — try and check out a case from either every so often, every morning. Doing so will fill your mornings with intention as you will feel like you did something great for yourself (and you did indeed). And as is the case with every other cardinal signs — include a physical activity into your mornings. A 15 minutes run, a 30 minutes walk — whatever you deem best.

· Aquarius rising: write down your dreams & ideas fresh out of bed. Your mind comes up with the best scenarios & concepts early in the morning, so write them down — you never know, maybe one day you’ll find the resources, energy or will to expand on one of them. I have noticed that Aquarius risings come in two fixed archetypes, the type that enjoys socializing fresh out of bed and the type that needs 3 business hours before being able to utter a single word to others – so my advice is simple: if you’re the former: start your day with some socialization, text your friends, post on social media, and if you’re the latter: put your headphones on, read something (anything) and block out any and all external noise.

· Pisces rising: the transition from the realm of dreams to the waking world is a tougher challenge to you than most, so try to start your day slowly and gently. No abrupt and aggressive tasks, no strong drinks, no heavy food. Pressure is of 0 benefit to you so do not put yourself in your “awake” mode until you’re about to go outside. If you’re working on an art piece, draw some of it right now. If you’re writing a book, write down a couple lines as soon as you leave bed as your dreams might provide some extra insights & creativity you wouldn't be able to conjure up while awake. If you have plants, water them. If you have a balcony or garden, spend some time there just sitting & doing absolutely nothing.

If you’d like a reading, more details can be found here!

Have a nice day!

[baby-yongbok]

Seventeen

Best friend!Lee Know x Afab!Reader

Genre: Friends to lovers?? Angst?? Fluff??

Summary: Mysterious letters from a stranger made you fall in love despite your best friends apprehensions. You think back to every moment that's led to you meeting your secret admirer but the memories do little to prepare you for the mystery you're about to uncover.

Word Count: 2.4k A/N: This is a repost because I just kinda... wanted to repost it? Idk. I don't think that it did as well as it could the first time so here we go againnnnnn!

❋ Italicized parts are flashbacks

❋ This One shot was inspired by the song i love you by Billie Eilish

✧ Masterlist ✧

Six months of mystery has led you to this moment. You started getting letters from a stranger, dainty decorated notes with cursive words declaring their undying admiration for you and all that you are. You’ve never been the type of person who’s felt seen by those around you, you’ve grown content with floating in the background and only being heard when someone chooses to unmute you. Maybe that’s why these letters felt like a thunderbolt hitting uncharted territory. Maybe that’s why each word that you read when you plucked the baby blue stationary from your mailbox made you feel dizzy as you burned with the desire of a thousand suns. 

“You don’t even know who’s sending these letters. What if it’s some creep?” Your best friend, Minho, grumbled on the other line as he struggled to give his stubborn cat her medicine. 

“No creep could ever write the things I’ve read. He’s emotional and profound and - and he’s…” Your mind wanders off into a daydream as you think of all that he could be. 

“A stranger, he’s a stranger. Listen, I’m all for fairy tales but I don’t want you getting hurt. Just let me take you if you decide to meet the guy.” You huff, he’s right he is a stranger and you shouldn’t meet with this guy alone. “I’ll hide behind a tree or something.” 

You giggle at the thought but agree happily. “If that’ll make you happy then sure. I’ll let you know when he can meet me.”

“Thank you.” A comfortable silence settles on the line before Minho speaks again. “Wait, how do you know that he’ll want to meet up? He doesn’t put a return address, you can’t send him anything back.”

“He’ll want to meet, I just know it.” You stare up at the ceiling with stars in your eyes and butterflies in your stomach. Minho scoffs on the other line.

“You’re so hopelessly romantic that it’s sickening.” 

You sat knee to knee with Minho on the Subway, three more stops and you’d be there. Three more stops and your prince charming would be sitting and waiting for you by Gapstow Bridge. You’ve been to Central Park dozens of times since you’ve moved to the city but nothing could ever top this. You watched as people piled on and off of the subway car, eyes glued to their phones and headphones blasting music or some mystery podcast that would keep them up all night but you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to anything other than the hammering of your heart in your chest, what if his is beating at the same rhythm?

“You really don’t have to go with me. I’m a big girl. You have to go all the way back to Korea the day after, you should be packing and resting and spending time with the cats and -” Minho nudged your shoulder as he glared at you with narrow feline eyes. He looked annoyed but you could tell that he was amused. 

“I want to take you, let me see Central Park one more time before I have to leave for half a year.” a weak chuckle escapes you but it quickly drags off into a despondent sigh. 

“I don’t want to go either, trust me, but I’ll be back before you know it. We’ll video call in the middle of the night and early morning and we’ll use our friendship lamps and you can send me a million pictures of Central Park in the winter. I know how much you love Gapstow Bridge.”

“It’s beautiful when it’s covered in snow, really. You have to see it in person, there’s nothing else like it.” You force a smile onto your lips but Minho doesn’t have to pretend. His smile is genuine, it’s just the effect that you have.

“Promise to spam my phone?” He holds out his pinky, his boba eyes upturned at the corners. You can’t help but to smile back, your doe eyes turning into shining moons that no lunar eclipse could rival.

“Promise.”

You turn to look out of the window as the train turns the last bend to your stop. You gasp, a smile spreading over your lips and a plum colored blush adorning your chilled cheeks. 

“Min! Min, it’s snowing. It’s sticking, look!” You tap your best friend, he’s been fiddling with his fingers the entire ride. His usual jokes have been nonexistent this evening, maybe he’s nervous for you. He seemed so worried after all. “I get to spend the first snow with you!” 

You smile over at him, eyes wide like Venus or maybe the moons of Saturn would be a better comparison. No matter the celestial object they could never compare to the shine of your hazel orbs. They are mere specks found in the never ending galaxy of your irises. 

“Maybe this is a sign of good luck.” He grins as his eyes scan the scenery. “Maybe you can make a wish on a snowflake tonight.”

“Look who’s being a hopeless romantic now.” You stick your tongue out at him, squinting your eyes and shaking your head playfully. He huffs a laugh with the crooked smile that he’s known for as he watches you. “Oh! This is us, let's go!”

You grab his hand and pull him out of his seat as you race towards the sliding subway doors. You race up the subway steps, your agile friend trailing behind you quickly with a tight grip on your hand. Once you make it to the top you stop and stare. A thin layer of icy white covers the street and sidewalks. You watch with wide eyes as the slush settles onto the tree branches and falls around you like feathers during a pillow fight. Soft, pretty, comfortable. 

“Are you sure that you want to do this? He could be a creep, ya know.” Minho has asked the same question about fifteen times since the two of you started walking to the train station and your answer has been the same every. Single. Time. 

“I’m positive and if he is, which I doubt that he will be, you’ll be there to do a quick one two jab and save me.” An eye roll and a sigh are all that he offers you as the two of you make your way down the steps to the station. 

“Just… prepare yourself okay? You really don’t know what you’re walking into and I don’t want you to walk out of there with a broken heart.”

“I’ll be fine. I’m a big girl, remember?” You take the lead, heading for the turnstile and swiping your MetroCard. You walk through just as you hear the train pull up and turn to Minho with wide eyes of excitement, your heart is still full, he can’t let that be taken away by someone no matter how infatuated you are with them. “It’s here, come on! Run!” 

You run up the metal stairs, the heels of your boots making a song out of each step and Minho follows right behind you, jumping the turnstile and running quickly as he ignores the staff yelling for him to pay. He’s sure that he’ll pay soon, he’ll pay in a currency greater than any atom in his body can handle. 

“There! He said to meet him on the bridge.” You jog towards the attraction that’s always held a special place in your heart. The stunning aged stone and the shining water underneath it made for a beautiful scene. “I don’t see anyone yet though.”

You walk up the slope of the bridge, squinting into the evening darkness. The sun set two hours ago but the lights of the surrounding buildings make up for the stars absence. Despite the orange of the surrounding lights, the air is cold. Your presence is all that makes the atmosphere feel warm. Comfortable.

“Maybe we should just -” You turn to Minho, your fingers laced together across your chest. Your black gloves that are slightly too big slipping up your wrist.

“He’ll be here. He wouldn’t let me down.” Minho sighs, looking over towards the small lake with crisp leaves flowing with each careful ripple that the wind creates. Maybe that’s how this will go, it’ll be smooth like he’s guided by the wind. Certainly he won't shatter the universe in your eyes.

“Y/n.” It was barely a whisper but you heard him. You’re on your toes looking in the other direction when he calls your name but you snap your neck to look up at him. That sparkle in your eyes is so bright. “I’m so sorry.”

“What do you mean?” He can see it, a star dying in real time. What kind of monster would do this?

“When I- It wasn’t supposed to go this way.” The tear that trails down Minho’s cheek is nearly turned to crystal by the cold bite of the winter air. It blows his parted hair as he stares down at you. You’re putting it all together. The stars dimming at a pace that would leave NASA baffled, confused, anxious.

“Minho, stop messing with me.” You smile and for a second he thinks that he can see them come back. For a second he can spot Orion and the big dipper seems to take one last breath but when he looks away, when he squeezes his eyes shut and chokes back a sob, that’s when the lights go out.

Minho’s never seen a shooting star, he’s never seen light fall at such an alarming rate that we call it beautiful and now he wishes that he never had. He hates that the one time that he got to wish upon a falling star was when he broke your heart. 

“When I started sending them I thought that I had more time, I thought that we…”

“It was you?” A tear trails down your cheek as you whisper, your once sparkling eyes are clouded with frost as the snowflakes catch and melt on your lashes. “You knew about every letter, I read them to you, I told you everything but you already knew because you - you wrote them.”

“I had to tell you. I had to tell you how I felt I couldn’t take it anymore; it was eating me alive. It was killing me.” He turns to you, tear stains on both of his blushed cheeks. His eyes are glazed with worry, panic, and so much love. They’re packed with so much adoration that you wonder how you ever missed it in the first place. “Not being with you was killing me. I just - just wanted to tell you and then I got that damned call. If I would've known that I'd get called back to Korea I wouldn't have done this.” 

“How long have you known?” You cross your arms, staring at his chest rather than his face. “You sent twenty-six letters… which one did you send after you found out that you had to leave?”

“Please.”

“Which one?” Your voice is weak, hoarse with sentiment as you hold back the hurricane of emotions in your chest. 

“Seventeen.” 

“Wow.” Your mouth hangs open in a silent cry of disbelief as you turn to look into the distance of the dark park. 

“I should’ve told you, I know that. I should’ve stopped and confessed I shouldn’t have done this to you but - but you looked so happy. You were so in love with being seen and I was so proud of you for finally believing that someone sees you. That’s all that I’ve ever wanted” You scoff, laughing a bit as you blink up towards the sky, welcoming the snowflakes onto your skin, offering them a safe place to melt as you come undone in the night. 

“Did you have to do it like this?” 

“You love Gapstow and I knew it would snow.” You huff, grinning sadly. You turn to face him again, large eyes searching his anxious ones. He can see the wounds that he’s created but of course you make it look beautiful. Of course your wounds bleed constellations, he’d expect nothing less from you. 

“You never cry.” It’s his turn to grin now. 

“You make me do a lot of things that I said I never would.” 

“Like what? Write twenty-six love letters and sneak them into my mailbox?” You chuckle, are your stars coming back?

“Like love. Believe in love enough to give it a chance. Fall in love so hard that I profess my endearment on expensive stationary just so I can see you smile. Even if you didn’t know that you were smiling for me, because of me.”

“Minho…”

“I’m an idiot and I don’t deserve to love you.” His words are rushed as he smiles down at you. They're a sad and pitiful attempt at masking how much he hates himself right now. It's an attempt to hide how much he wishes he could take this all back and call it all a joke just to see you shine like you did a bit ago. “I don’t deserve to have you love me back either.”

“But I do.” Another tear escapes the floodgates behind your eyes and the hurricane in your chest grows stronger. “I do and I have for so long.”

He stares at you with tears falling faster than before, they chase each other down his cheeks and drip off at the edge turning into snowflakes themselves. Maybe he can make a wish on one.

“I don’t want you to love me.” He chokes out as he blinks the tears away.

“It wouldn’t make you leaving hurt any less. I’d just be losing a different version of you.”

“I put every ounce of myself in those letters, as long as you have them you’re never losing me.”

The thread behind your eyes snapped in that moment and it sent your hurricane of emotions free from your chest. You expected for the trees around you to be lifted up into the air. You expected for you and Minho to be whisked away as you twirl like ballerinas in violent gusts of frigid air but it never came. All that visited you were tears as you began sobbing into your hands.

Your oversized glove slipped to your fingertips, holding on desperately just as you were. Minho wasted no time before wrapping you in his arms, you clung to his chest like a sad child on the playground. Whining sobs into his coat as he quietly matched your emotion.

He knew it. He knew he’d pay for this in a way much bigger than him. He knew he’d empty your heart once you found out but he was selfishly in love with you. How could he confess to you like this when he knew he had to leave?

 He should’ve stopped at letter Seventeen.

This fic was also heavily inspired by this photo of the Gapstow Bridge in Manhattans Central Park:

Thank You For Reading! Please Reblog or Comment to let me know how you liked it! It makes my day! 💕

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[guiltysungho]

— boynextdoor when you need help to sleep

genre : tags. fluff, suggestive (18+), established relationship, comfort (?)

wordcount. 150 - 300

a/n. you might feel the quality degrade as you continue but i really just wanted to post something. its not too bad i hope, enjoy 😭

@onedoornet

sungho is used to your tossing and turning in bed whenever falling asleep becomes a task, and whether it’s a nap or full night’s rest he knows what to do to get your melatonin up.

he’ll keep you close, enough to feel body rise with each tired breath. gentle pats on your head as he sings a sweet melody to you, humming the instrumental part quietly for you to travel with the sound.

earlier in your relationship you had told him about this song, your childhood nights filled the same harmony he sung to you. he’d learnt the song just for you, for nights like this one when sleeping wasn’t so easy.

you remember the first night you heard the song from him, such a cherished memory. you dreamt of wonders that night, of you and him in a fairytale where that song played throughout the kingdom.

even when he was away from home where he couldn’t hold you, his voice would still be at your reach. after seeing how much you enjoyed his singing, he’d recorded the song for you, saving it on your phone so you could always sleep soundly even when you were miles apart.

when you can’t sleep neither can riwoo, he needs to see you sleeping soundly for the slumber to settle in. he doesn’t know exactly how to make you fall asleep but he tries to figure it out based on general opinions.

so when it’s time to sleep the whole mood in the room switches. rain ambiance noises added to a white noise in the background, cool toned led lights, air purifier, assuming at least one thing would work so got everything.

most of the time you end up laughing, watching him put on every appliance in the room to set the mood right just makes you smile. checking with you on the settings, asking if you want to change the rain sounds to fire place sounds since its winter.

while laughing doesn’t help you sleep, whenever you did fall asleep you were at ease. no matter what happened in the day, you could look forward to the sleeping sessions because of the joy they brought.

at times he would go the extra length and start counting sheep out loud for the both of you, giggling together at each number when you should be sleeping.

the truth was you knew exactly how to fall asleep, you’d fall asleep in the first couple minutes, just lying down on his chest, arm around his torso, but you liked the whole drama of it all so you would let it happen.

jaehyun is like a homemade podcast, you’ll lay there between his thighs while he tells you all about everything. sometimes he’d tell you about his day, depending on how interesting it was and other times he’d tell stories.

he knows you like listening to him so plays with that, telling you all sorts of things that grow more unbelievable as he goes on. at times you’re unsure if he is even saying coherent words or just making sounds that sound like words.

it never did bother you though, if anything you loved it the more incoherent, the easier the slumber came. you would let him play with your hair as he told a story you’d never heard of before, braiding it to the best of his abilities.

something about having his fingers tangled up in your hair and his voice so close to your ears made sleeping such an easy task, you wonder how it was ever hard for you.

you’d fall asleep to his sweet voice, bedtime stories from your one and only. even when he’s far from you he finds a way to make it work, late night calls were he'd just take you along with him, narrating his every movement.

he knows by your soft hums through the line that it works just as well so he continues till all he can hear is your quiet snoring.

slow relaxing tunes fill your room whenever it’s bedtime. you get so close together under the sheets, cuddling as you let the music transport you to a deep slumber.

most of the time that’s all you need to fall asleep, his arms around you and sweet melodies playing from the speaker. the only downside being that it wasn’t an immediate solution to your insomnia.

for taesan there’s only one way to help you sleep immediately and if the tiredness is too much for you he’s always willing to help with a little stimulation. he’ll help you relax completely and release all tension from your body.

he finds it cute the way you always fall asleep immediately after an orgasm, the way your small hands would wrap around his wrist when you felt it coming and stay wrapped there once you passed out. if you need an orgasm to fall asleep he'll give it you with the most pleasure.

whenever it came to it his main focus would be you, wanting you to feel the most pleasure so the slumber could settle as soon as you orgasm. he plays with your most sensitive parts, teasing and pleasing you, kissing you wherever you ask for it.

when you finally finish your eyes are already shut as you slowly regain your breath falling into a deep sleep. he gives you a kiss on the forehead to telling you did well before letting you sleep comfortably.

leehan is particularly gentle with you when you're sleepy, to be honest he enjoys listening to your little yawns and groans that come whenever you were tired so he's a little more unserious in his ways of helping.

when you're tired in bed with him he'll whisper to you while you're craddled in his arms but it's more of an asmr session that a soothing moment. while his gentle touches help you relax, the sound of his voice by your ear whispering the script to a cartoon movie keeps the sleepyness from reaching it summit.

occasionally he will add sound effects to the show, mimicking sounds of bubbles with his mouth and flicking his cheek with his finger to remake the sound of water drops, trying his best to not burst out into laughter.

so most nights instead of sleeping you're giggling in a dark room with your boyfriend whispering the script of nemo to you telling you to imagine the movie while he narrates. with all the laughing you do you always end up falling asleep in the middle of his story, imagining your self in the movies.

he never lets you miss out on his late night asmr, even when he isn't with you he send you voice memos whispering to you in the most erotic way while telling you to tuck yourself in bed tight. giving you some sort of guided meditation session so you can sleep soundly.

[hellyeahsickaf]

If you're in a crash/flareup you might be worried this is your new baseline and you'll never feel better than this. But chances are your body just needs time to recover. I know it can be one of the scariest feelings in the world, that you might permanently be stuck this way. What if you can't shower on your own again? What if you're never able to walk your dog again? What if you can't go out and do your favorite things anymore? Is this forever? This is catastrophizing, putting in your head that the worst case scenario is the most likely/guaranteed outcome. It's the worst thing you can do

I won't lie and tell you that's not a possibility but with many chronic illnesses flareups are just a sign that you need to rest and one of the best ways to make sure you bounce back is to manage your stress. Take care of your body, rest rest rest, nourish yourself, do what you can to lower your stress like listening to music, messaging/calling people you know, listening to podcasts, reading, drawing, watching videos. Don't beat yourself up if you can't focus or take in information. You're not filthy or disgusting if you can't shower today. If you can't tolerate light or sound, you can meditate or use imagery to cope. I heard somewhere about a writer who lost her ability to focus and think clearly due to her ME/CFS but she learned to create and sort of play out her stories in her mind and found that really helpful. Things like that

It's important to get a feel of your activity threshold and limit yourself. You don't need to prove to yourself or anyone that you're not too sick to do things, especially while you're flaring up. I've hurt myself with those kind of self fulfilling prophecies when I shouldn't have panicked about the possibility of my condition getting worse. Mental and emotional exertion are just as bad as physical exertion. Your body might react the same to you going out for a long run when you should be recovering as it does when you stay up all night anxious about how sick you are. They can wear you out equally

Give your body time to recover. Don't worry about what others say or do or try to tell you, I promise you're not lazy and the illness isn't "winning". All your body's doing is telling you it needs a break

[kenananamin]

I saw a TikTok of a mom cleaning her daughters room while she slept and I think Nanami would do that with his messy partner. 😭 ❤️

damn, you’re so right anon 😚👌🏼 he would absolutely do that for and with his messy partner and would talk about his whole day and let you rant about literally anything. so with that…

Here are my hcs of Nanami with his partner after the kids go to bed and the next morning

it gets a little suggestive in there but overall fluffy lol

he will go to you for a hug and kiss right after closing the kid’s door. they don’t always lead to something else or get too spicy but its part of the routine now. even on the bad and/or tiring days, he’ll meet you in the hallway for a quick peck and hug that’s got you both happily sighing

he’ll use the time after that to go around the house looking for any dishes the kids may have hidden or just dropped somewhere as you get the dry clothes from the dryer

he’ll pop everything in the dishwasher (yes, he’s a dishwasher user now bc kids go through dishes like it’s their job and they have overtime to do) and meets you on the couch to fold the clothes

sometimes you’ll both talk about the parts of your day that he didn’t see and he’ll do the same, other times you’ll listen to music or a podcast, and other times you’ll watch some brainrotting television

once you both know the kids are definitely asleep and not faking it, you’ll sneak back into the rooms to organize what the kids couldn’t. of course, you both tell the kids to clean but they’re young and don’t always fix everything where it should be (and you’re both a little OCD so you have to fix it behind your children’s back to avoid hurting their feelings)

laughs whenever a toy or thing clanks too loud and your immediate reaction is turn around with your mouth and eyes wide open, panicking if that woke up the sleeping child

gives the kids another kiss before leaving their room and sometimes snuggles with them while they’re sleeping. they’re growing up and don’t want to be hugged all the time and nanami misses when they’d crawl all over him and beg to be carried

will make you a nighttime tea as you put the clothes away and meets you in your room to get ready for bed

will set the bed while you shower and will quickly shower while you do your skincare

gets out of the shower and grabs the hairdryer to dry both his and your hair

you sit him down on your vanity stool and do his skincare while he holds your hips and he uses that time to just look at you. ✨lovingly✨ of course, mucho mucho amor 🥹

pretends to look away while you switch your robe for your pjs. well “pjs” — nanami likes buying silky or lighter pajama sets and he uses the pants while you use the top which is usually always a soft button down or oversized shirt

you pretend to know he’s not looking but give a lil extra while you change bc it’s fun to see him twitch a bit and clear his throat

makes sure the door is locked before… mommy and daddy time 😃👍🏼 does not want to traumatize his kids or have the talk too early on

PRAISES YOU — i will die on this hill but nanami loves praising you. whether it’s your thing or not, he does it from the bottom of his heart bc he loves you and appreciates every single thing you do for him and the kids

…if it is your thing… he likes watching you twitch and squirm 🤭🤭

he’s a giver, what else can i say 🤷🏻‍♀️

unlocks the door afterwards bc emergencies can happen at anytime and wants easy access to the kids and for the kids

will check in with you about 3 different times to see if it’s too cold or hot in the room

will tuck you in on one side then will hug you from the other

if it’s not a snuggling kind of night, he’ll sleep close to you and on his stomach with one arm wrapped above his head or arm stretched out to scratch your head as he drifts off. if he can’t touch your head or hair then his hand is either on your back or stomach as you sleep. always some kind of contact

he’s a light sleeper and wakes up often so he’ll check on the kids once a night then will return to you in bed. once he comes back then it’s a guaranteed snuggle, you feel him and lean into him

wakes up first and early either from the alarm on weekdays or naturally on weekends and goes to wake the kids and make sure they’re out of bed and in restroom/living room/kitchen anywhere but close to a bed where they can lie back down and sleep then be late for school

goes back to the room to wake you up so softly and gently whispers a variation of a soft ‘good morning darling’, ‘it’s time to get up’, ‘you look beautiful’ etc etc

likes brushing his teeth w you. he likes the visual of you both standing next to each other, both with crazy bed head, winkled pajamas and the kids running in to say good morning as your toothbrush hangs between your teeth to hug the kids. so domestic, so simple, and so incredibly cozy

you both get the kid’s clothes out and help in washing their faces, brushing teeth and getting their hair done

you both go back to your room to change for the day. sometimes it’s quick if the kids are still eating breakfast, but if they’re playing or just watching tv…. nanami locks the door again

kisses. lots and lots of kisses. short and quick or long and slow, you both love kisses

OVERALL, nanami just loves and lives for domestic bliss. it’s all he wants, he doesn’t want a crazy life with so many hectic and crazy parts (the kids are hectic enough for now at such a young age but he’s def looking forward to retirement). he wants simple, happy, and completely fulfilling domestic bliss 🖤

[m4sonn]

✧*̥˚ The outsiders Modern AU Headcanons *̥˚✧

- Credits to @stevelovbot on Tumblr for the inspo for this post! And also credits to my friend @peachyponyboyy who I collaborate with for these!! :3

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Ponyboy

• Is a big fan of the Simpsons and can quote almost any episode word by word.

• Says that The Godfather is his favorite movie ever but it’s actually Mamma Mia. He secretly loves musicals.

• Is the only one with a Tumblr account and he’s pretty active in there.

• Definitely writes fan fiction or character studies in AO3.

•The only person that knows about that and gets to read them is Johnny.

• His pfp always matches Johnny’s in any social media platform.

• When he feels annoyed/pissed by his brothers, he likes signing them up for random ass newsletters and whatnot, making sure they get spammed constantly.

• He loves digital books and owns a Kindle but he feels like nothing compares to real books.

• His bi awakening was watching hunger games with dally and seeing peeta, made things worse when he saw the fnaf movie, he’s just a wh0re for josh hutcherson. (He would’ve made the whistle baby edit /j 😣😣🔥🔥)

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Sodapop

• Is the only one who can actually use TikTok and he’s pretty popular. He loves doing trends with the gang, probably forcing them to do the cinnamon challenge. (they agree bc they're all stupid)

• Loves avocados a lot and gets teased for posting pictures of his meals.

• His favorite game is Assassins Creed but isn’t a big fan of the community and fandom around the game. He just wants to play it and have fun.

•Facetimes the rest of the group whenever he wants, specially Ponyboy and Darry.

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Darry

•He’s the owner of the only Netflix and/or any other streaming accounts of the group and is the one who pays for it. The rest of the gang add their own profiles and watch everything they want. (Or they share one account, there is no inbetween)

• Likes to keep up with the news and current affairs, so he follows a lot of reporters and activists on Twitter and Facebook. He’s subscribed to lots of newsletters for sure.

• Was the biggest football star of his school and got a scholarship thanks to it. He went to college but had to stop playing football eventually due to a freak accident on the field. However, this didn’t sadden him, since he got his diploma and works in things related to football anyways, he works as a coach for the local youth football team.

• His phone password is Ponyboy and soda’s birthdays mixed together.

• He is a big fan of No Doubt, when he found out that they were performing at Coachella, he absolutely lost it and started saving for a ticket immediately. When he went and saw them in the front row he cried, absolutely WEEPED.

• Constant listener of destiny’s child and connects with survivor on a personal level and he’s not scared to admit, you’ll sometimes hear him singing it while he’s doing stuff around the house while listening to music

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Dally

•Has been blocked by multiple celebrities on Twitter AND instagram, on various occasions.

•Is a very big fan of The Hunger Games and one of his favorite characters is Peeta.

•Makes sure to be the first one to text Johnny on his birthday, even if they’re standing next to each other.

•Loves crime/serial killer podcasts and has good knowledge about these topics.

•Hates going to the dentist. There is a very embarrassing video of him being out of it after getting one of his wisdom teeth removed that Johnny recorded (Dally forced Johnny to take him since he was scared).

•Is always listening to music and doesn’t like sharing his earphones unless it’s Johnny.

•Has practiced a lot of sports during his life and his favorite one so far is boxing.

•Got drunk one New Year’s Eve and confessed that Darry was like the brother he wished he had had, and that his New Years Resolution was to make it up to Darry (He never did, since he had forgotten). and nobody has ever let him live it down.

•Secret fanboy of the neighborhood, one time he thought nobody was home and started singing daddy issues at the top of his lungs, two-bit has it on video and never lets him hear the end of it about it.

• Still enjoys stealing and robbing old ladies and young children and still enjoys annoying random pretty girls on the street (so basically still and ahole)

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Johnny

• Wears denim overalls with cute sweaters and loves jackets with lots of pockets.

• Loves spicy food and is the only one in the group who can actually eat it without any problem.

• Has always wanted a puppy or any kind of pet but his situation at home always made it impossible. Because of this, Pony gifted him a goldfish one Christmas and they set the fish tank at the Curtis’ so Johnny could visit it as much as he wanted without risking getting his parents angry.

• He gets really attached to that fish pretty fast and treasures the gesture behind it. Pony and him name is Frost.

• Pony and him use Twitter DM’s just to send memes to each other and store them.

• He has a private Twitter account that only Pony gets to follow.

• Can speak Spanish and French.

•Owns a leather jacket that had been Dally’s a couple of years ago and takes care of it as if it was made of gold.

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Two-Bit

• He’s the reason why Darry had to get a Disney+ account.

• Knows all the songs from Frozen I.

• Wanted to have a mouse as a pet (since…mickey mouse, duh.) for a while but Darry refused.

• He doesn’t admit it, but he loves sweet drinks made of fruits and cocktails more than beer.

• His socks never match and they all have at least one hole in them.

• Is the one that gets the most excited about Christmas. He’s not particularly religious but he loves the decorations, and the lights, and the whole mood in general. He’s the one that always makes sure the rest of the boys have presents, even if it’s something small.

• His first time going to disney world he bawled his eyes out, like full on mental breakdown inside the park, Ponyboy and Sodapop saved up all their birthday money, allowance, and paycheck money for about a year and a half to buy the tickets. (they wanted to get a fast pass and like the entire deluxe trip for him, that's why it took so long.) Ponyboy was SO embarrassed from two-bits crying, “You’re 22, Stop. Crying. Over. Mickey.” but still was happy for him.

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Steve

• He tells everyone his top artist is Limp Bizkit but it's actually Queen, his top song was good old fashioned lover boy.

• Wakes up early to watch the F1 races and has never missed a season of Top Gear since he was little. His favorite was Hamilton, but ever since he saw that race with verstappen vs hamilton, his opinions have changed…

• He’s the best at playing video games, and he especially likes horror ones like Resident Evil. (absolute wh0re for Leon Kennedy, i am too tho so no shame)

• Sodapop and him are always playing online together and they sometimes let Ponyboy join them. Him and Sodapop gave ponyboy an unplugged controller once and said it was wireless (for the shitz and giggles and to see how long it took for him to notice), he realized half way through the game and told Darry who then yelled at them for 5 minutes.

• Doesn’t like TikTok and is always going about how Vine was just much better. (He’s stuck in 2014..)

• Gets angry when his texts go unanswered in the group chat (they do it on purpose since they know it pisses him off.)

• He listens to cotton eye joe on repeat, change my mind.

[bloodypeachblog]

The Tumblr Yandere Quintet (Peter, Sunny Day Jack, John Doe, Damon, and Alan Orion) - my personal headcanons SFW + NSFW

(TW: blood, knives, death, cannibalism, anything associated with yanderes will most likely be here, so you've been warned)

A/N: btw they coexist in the same universe here. Like, let's say they all live together in a house with Y/N. Why? Because I can. Also this is all F!Reader, so yeah.

~♡~Peter~♡~

• He is shy boi when it comes to you. He acts confident, but underneath he is lowkey panicking.

• But towards others, he is brat. Just, burns and roasts up the wazoo. It's like the person flips the switch and activates his bitch mode.

• he loves playing video games, anything that seem interesting to him. He loves Dead by Daylight and his favorite role is the killer.

• True Crime Aficionado. He listens to podcasts, watches documentaries and movies and YouTube videos, he knows serial killers' stories like the back of his hand.

• he can cook and bake pretty well. He's not Gordon Ramsay levels of good, but he very rarely makes a bad dish. He likes to make food for you and watch your reactions to it.

• as a boyfriend, he is such a hopeless romantic. Roses, poems, serenades (he's not confident in his singing voice, so he plays songs that say whatever he's feeling and sends you the youtube link to listen to them, or just blaring them on the radio outside your window), the whole shebang. Of course, he's not obnoxious about it. Just enough to make you swoon.

• You guys know that old famous photo of a soldier kissing his girlfriend after WW2? Yeah, Peter loves doing that to you.

• pet names for you: Darling, Honey, Baby, Princess, Angel. Basic stuff.

♡NSFW♡

• he likes to nibble on your ear. He loves your reactions to it.

• guy is a straight-up pervert. He'd grope you when you're alone and make dirty jokes. You'd blush tomato red each time.

• angel on the streets, devil in the sheets. More like incubus in the sheets. He will find ways to make you moan his name.

• WHAT DAT TONGUE DO THO? OH LAWD Seriously, when he eats you out, you swear you can feel the very tip of his tongue brush against your cervix.

• favorite positions are missionary, mating press, and doggy style. But he likes oral too, both sides. He loves feeling your warm mouth taking in his cock, he struggles not to cum right then and there. He loves your taste, he can't get enough of it.

•some nights he can be gentle, other nights he'll fuck you into the dirt.

• his cock is about 5.6 inches, good thickness. Not the dick of the gods, but still something to brag about. Very pretty, too.

• Knifeplay? On you, depends on if you're into it or not. On him, FUCK YEAH. He fantasizes about you using a knife to write your name on his chest. Getting cut gives him the biggest hard-on, he'd be already dripping pre-cum. And if you lick the cuts? Oh, this man will cum immediately.

• Anal? Hell yeah. If you're okay with it, of course.

~~~~~

~♡~Damon~♡~

• He's more chill and laid back. Also he's emo. Because I said so.

• He likes listening to music. He likes any genre, but he tends to leans towards emo bands, stuff from Lapfox Trax, and metal. But you play a country song, he will destroy the radio or debate on murdering the artist.

• He wears his puffy coat almost 24/7. I say almost because he can't wear it in the shower. He loves to share it with you, the whole two person in one coat thing couples do.

• he's a cuddle bug, but won't admit it. If you tease him about it, he'll deny it and blush.

• he acts like a kuudere to others, if not annoyed. But when with you, he's so sweet. He'd give you his umbrella if it's raining and you didn't have one.

• Dude can cook, if you can call preparing instant ramen in the microwave 'cooking'.

• This guy loves meat and chewing on bones, so I bet he is also a secret cannibal, but only eats his victims. Gotta get rid of the bodies somehow! He has Peter help with preparing and cooking the meat, but Damon never says where he got it. Peter knows, though, but he don't really care.

• pet names for you: Babe, Sweetie, Lovely

♡NSFW♡

• Favorite positions are you on top, and the position where you're on your stomach and he has your arm behind your back.

• He is SO loving and gentle most of the time. He just wants to make sure you're getting enough. You will cum many times before he even finishes.

• but once in a while, expect to be sore in the morning, some bruises here and there from how much he grips you.

• master of seduction right here. He will whisper in your ear the sweetest yet dirtiest stuff, maybe some erotica limerick/sonnet he found online. His voice is so smooth it makes your core tingle just by hearing it.

• his dick is pretty average, but it's not a bad thing. It gets the job done just fine and you're not complaining.

• he does have a bondage fetish. He loves to tie you to the bed and on special occasions, like your birthday, he'll tie himself up and let you do whatever you want.

• Anal? Nah. Unless you beg for it.

• dude loves meat, so... he has a dolcett fetish. (Don't know what it is? ...eh google it, I'm not your mom. But don't say I didn't warn you.) He never acts on it really [he may eat people, but he doesn't get off to it because he feels like he'd be cheating on you], but his phone and laptop has a folder with hundreds of pics/videos of dolcett porn. Sort of a guily pleasure fetish, emphasis on the pleasure.

~~~~~

~♡~Alan~♡~

• He is such a good boi. Sweetest boi in the world. Pure sugar cookie.

• he is the outdoorsy guy, hunting, fishing, camping, all that stuff. Dude lives in the woods.

• he's the one who brings home fish or game for dinner. Preps it himself in the garage. Expect to find some deer or birds hanging from the ceiling.

• he's a pro at bonfires. Knows all the different ways to burn wood.

• Cooking? He prefers to grill or cook over a fire. He sometimes indulges in Damon's choice of meats, but no one ever tells him what it is. So don't tell him. It'd break the guy...

• he is such a sweetheart. Asking if you're feeling ok, if you need any help with anything, just so considerate. Heavy follower of PDA.

• unashamed cuddler. When you two go camping, he has you in the same sleeping bag as him.

• HUGE astrology and astronomy nerd. He will talk your ear off about the star constellations and tell you your horoscope of the day and if you are compatible with him or anyone else in the group.

• pet names: Doe-Eyes, darling, honey, dear, love

♡NSFW♡

• he's more on the gentler side of things. Perfect candidate for your first time. He will comfort you if it hurts and praise you so much.

• favorite positions are where he can look at you splayed out and writhing in pleasure. Mostly missionary.

• man is a pussy eater. On bad days, he gives you puppy dog eyes and asks to eat you out. With those eyes, you can't help but say yes.

• he likes to nibble and bite. Favorite place to bite is your thighs. He can leave marks, but never breaks skin. If he does, he'll stop and patch you up.

• his cock is the smallest in the group, but not in general. It's pretty average, nothing to complain about. He's a grower, not a shower. You secretly find his cock (both erect and flaccid) adorable, but you never say that to his face.

• does he do anal? Only if you ask him to, but even then, he's hesitant. He will make sure you're prepped well.

~~~~~

~♡~Jack~♡~

• the ray of sunshine in the group. Always trying to cheer people up.

• he loves to give hugs any time, any day, any where

• he is such an 80s retro nerd. He has a collection of games and movies from that era. Favorite movies are The Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Favorite arcade game is Dragon's Lair or Pac-Man.

• definitely the fashionista of the group. He loves to create outfits for you to wear, making sure the colors compliment each other. He does this for the other guys too, but some are not sure how to feel about it.

• dude is the kind of guy who would wear a nun's halloween outfit as his costume for reals and awaken some people while wearing it. He makes any outfit sexy.

• Cooking? He prefers to bake. Champion at breakfasts. Favorite thing to make is blueberry pancakes.

• Himbo. Just. Pure grade-A himbo.

♡NSFW♡

• bruh, this man will be cheery and bubbly during the day, total daddy at night. Holy shit.

• he will show you that you are his and only his. He's only sharing you with the other guys just to make you happy.

• man's got a body like Adonis. He's got a chest where he got man tiddies.

• his cock? HOLY FUCK. He's the biggest out of the group and he has to force his way inside you sometimes (this is canon, I swear, I've seen that clip). It is downright BEAUTIFUL. You swear, he is some sort of god.

• his favorite positions are 1) where you're both on your sides, him behind you, lifting your leg so he can plow you while kissing your neck and whispering sweet nothings and dirty shit in your ear. And 2) that position where you're on your belly and he is behind you, raising your ass to him and he has your arm pinned behind your back.

• he is definitely heavy on the praise. He sees you as a goddess. Expect him to make you cum multiple times before he even gets inside you, just to make sure you're putty in his hands and ready for him.

• does he do anal? Fuck yeah he does. But he's very careful about it and only does it when you say it's ok.

~~~~~

~♡John♡~

• and then there's John.

• he's just a crack baby.

• sorry, John Doe stans. I just couldn't get that much on this guy.

• he's essentially the pet dog of the group. But it's fine, he's into that.

• he's pretty much a feral animal.

• is fueled by energy drinks and Doritos.

• he LOVES when Damon feeds him the special meat he's collected. He gobbles that shit up.

• dude snuggles you like a puppy. He can be cute and sweet when he wants to, don't get me wrong here. Puppies are always sweet and cute.

• hates baths. Y/N has to chain him to the tub in order to bathe him.

• usually stays in his room. He plays Call of Duty with Peter and loves to watch zombie movies. Favorite movie is Cannibal Holocaust and City of the Living Dead. Ruggero Deodato, Lucio Fulci, and George A Romero are his idols.

• Cooking? No idea how. Anything already prepared is perfect for him.

♡NSFW♡

• you into werewolf quality sex? John's your guy.

• expect tons of nail marks and bites all over you once you're done.

• man will make you bleed.

• some nights, the guys will hear you yell "CHILL THE FUCK OUT!!" from your bedroom.

• he will almost eat you alive, he's that feral.

• Does he do anal? Duh.

• favorite position is you up against the wall.

~~~~~

Yandere Quintet Dynamics

Peter & John Doe: Gaming buddies

Jack & Alan: Big bro (Jack), little bro (Alan)

Peter and Damon: Constant dick-measuring (metaphorically, of course) at first, but now partners in crime (oh they'll double-team ya). They like discussing true crime stuff, enough to where they have a podcast.

Damon & John Doe: Man (Damon) using dog (John Doe) to hide evidence.

Jack & Peter: total nerd buddies. Trivia night is horrible with them.

Jack & John Doe: kid being terrified of dogs (Jack), rabid dog (John Doe)

Alan & Peter: another big bro (Peter), little bro (Alan) dynamic.

Alan & John Doe: hunter (Alan) and his hunting dog (John Doe)

Jack & Damon: guy (Damon) is annoyed by the other guy (Jack), but secretly enjoys his company.

Damon & Alan: same deal as Damon and Jack, but Damon will kill anyone trying to hurt or be mean to Alan.

~~~~~

Aaaaand that's all she wrote! Hope you enjoyed this feast!

[angelisgonnastartchangingurls]

roger

that fall, annie's new neighbors nick and nina moved in across the hall. "nick and nina," annie would always say when she saw them. "love saying those names together."

they were a couple just slightly older than annie -- probably 30, 31. nina worked in publishing and nick was an architect or something.

annie was a good neighbor--she was quiet--from her days living with robbie she'd adopted the habit of listening to everything from music to podcasts to TV in headphones. her apartment was clean because despite her overall efforts to clean up her drug use, she was not ready to let go of her adderall-fueled weekend cleanup sessions.

because their apartments were the only two on the floor and were shaped as mirror images of each other, their bedrooms shared a wall. this of course meant that annie could hear nick and nina fuck, which was pretty much an every-evening thing. sometimes it was very short--15 minutes or so with very clear climaxes. annie thought of mark and his wife and their focus on making each other cum and getting it over with. but other nights it was long and giggly and rough. one evening, after hearing them clearly wrap up, annie turned on her vibrator.

annie rarely used sex toys--she was truthfully, much better at getting off with her hands. her clit could be so sensitive that she often needed to wear panties to cum with a vibrator. today she put her bedsheet between her wand and her cunt. she sensed a quietness in nick and nina's bedroom. they were listening to her. she had a vocal orgasm - nothing too excessive, but audible. and then she kept going. she heard nina make an impressed noise.

leaving for work the next morning, annie ran into nina in the hallway. nina immediately blushed. annie hovered around deciding between playing dumb and being all-knowing and decided on the latter. "was i too loud last night?" annie asked. "i realized after that you could probably hear me since i can always hear you."

"oh god," nina said, turning a brighter shade of red.

"don't be shy," annie said, putting a hand on nina's shoulder. she felt nina relax into her touch. "that's being neighbors, right?"

"i can tell you're a therapist," nina said. "most people don't say this stuff out loud."

"maybe so," annie said. "well i think it is great that you two have such an active sex life."

nina whispered a shy "thank you" and practically ran from annie down the street.

on the way home, annie ran into nick, who had clearly talked to nina during the day. "hear anything good lately?" he asked her. he gestured at the headphones around her neck, and then grinned.

"sorry if i freaked out your wife," annie said. "but i do really enjoy knowing you two get after it so often."

"every night," he said. "my other friends don't believe me."

"well, i can testify," annie said.

"they've known nina since we were in high school and i think they can't really picture her as sexual."

"do you want them to picture your wife as sexual?" annie said wryly. "is that fun for you?"

he laughed. "kinda, yeah. i mean, everybody likes to brag about their hot partner."

"women like being bragged about," annie said. "even when they protest."

that evening, annie went on a second, long-delayed date with roger. they had drinks, then dinner, and then annie invited roger back to her apartment. she liked watching him reconcile in real time that he was going to fuck his therapist. it put a real pep in his step.

as roger railed annie from behind on her bed, she wondered how hard her headboard was rattling nick and nina's bedroom. the truth was, roger had a modestly-sized cock that he wasn't all that familiar with. the sex was rough and quick, and annie did not have an orgasm, and roger did not offer to get her off after cumming on her back. she politely got him out of her apartment, took a shower, masturbated, and fell asleep naked.

this time, she saw nick in the hallway in the morning. "high five," he said. "we both got laid last night."

"mine was very disappointing," annie said. "small dick, no skill, didn't get me off. you?"

"my wife rode my cock with her tight little shaved pussy while i put my fingers up her ass," he said. "i can't complain."

"nina is shaved, huh?" annie said. "i wouldn't have guessed that."

"she is sometimes," he said. "i like the variety."

"me too," annie said. "i mean, i like variety. and i am also sometimes shaved."

"you have really big tits so guys probably don't even notice your pubes, right?" he said.

"yeah that is not inaccurate," she said.

on the way home, it was nina in the elevator this time. surprisingly, she initiated the conversation.

"older man," she said, looking away. "is that a thing for you?"

"definitely," annie said. "daddy's girl."

nina laughed. "i had a...phase."

"an older man phase?"

"yeah. when i was 16."

"hot," annie said. "how old was he?"

"52," nina said. "my parents were so mad."

"i bet," annie laughed. "was he your first?"

"no," nina said. "i screwed a couple of boys my age first. just to make sure i wasn't missing anything."

"and your older man won out?"

"he had the biggest cock i have ever seen. still. i mean, nick has a very nice one. but this guy was gigantic. i don't think i could have taken him without an elastic teenage pussy."

they were in annie's apartment now. without even communicating it, annie had led her in and poured her a glass of wine.

"tell me more."

"i used to call it climbing mount rushmore, because you know, he was very gray, and it would take like a half hour to get him hard and then like 90 minutes to get him off.

"90 minutes? straight?"

"90 minutes of sucking and fucking. we dated for like five months and by the end of it i was in such good shape. i had amazing abs. he was so perfectly shaped to nail my g spot that i would cum, vaginally, like 6 or 7 times."

"amazing."

"i haven't been able to cum more than twice in a row ever since."

"so why did you break up?"

"his kids came to visit and his daughter found my panties in his bathroom," she said. "and you know, they were like, whatever, something very slutty from victoria's secret at the mall that only a teenager would buy. and his daughter forbid me from seeing him again."

"i hope she was willing to suck his dick for 90 minutes then," annie said.

nina laughed so suddenly she sprayed wine out of her nose. they both laughed. "no joke," nina said. "i called her and said something like that. she was like 22, which is so funny because at the time she seemed like an adult. but i was like, 'well who is gonna fuck your dad now, you?' and she said, 'maybe.' which made me feel like I lost the argument."

"kinda hot," annie said.

nina looked warily at her. "yeah i know," she said. "but that's a very therapist thing to think about. how all women want to kill their moms and take their place?"

"yeah i think that's universal," annie said. "although i do finally get along with my mom now."

"maybe there's hope for me," nina said. "i fucking hate my mother."

[olderthannetfic]

Genuine question here, I know there's been discussion on this blog (and on fandom tumblr in general!) about how it's shitty to refer to entertainment mediums as "content." I was not aware that this was a faux pas, and not to be completely stupid, but like, what's the alternative? yeah if you're doing something SPECIFIC (ie reading a book, listening to music) you should probably use those specific words anyway, but genuinely, what's a good umbrella term for "listening to music/podcasts AND reading AND watching films/shows/theatre AND playing games AND AND AND"...

(not "and" as in "doing all of those at the same time", but moreso an inclusive word that serves as an umbrella term.)

My main hobby is fandom, like most people here. Maybe I'm just a lazy POS but oftentimes it's legit easier for me to just say something like "wow, i have a great taste in content" when thinking about how awesome my interests are.

Is it ok to say "media" instead of "content"? I know a lot of people also don't like the word "consuming", but genuinely, what is a good word that can mean reading OR writing OR playing a game OR watching to something OR listening to something OR other things that I'm forgetting?

Cannot believe I am here, in the middle of my workday/workweek, asking a question about the political correctness of how to refer to fandom-ing, but, yeah! It's just that I truly do not know what a catch-all term for "doing an activity that involves some form of pop culture/the entertainment industry/etc" that isn't just...'media consumption.'

--

This depends on the exact context. If you combine 'consume' with 'media' in most contexts, people will find that relatively neutral. There are plenty of times that 'content' will also sound neutral...

But in a lot of specific contexts, combining 'consume' with 'content' will sound like influencer drivel.

Try not to sound like those clowns selling other people's Reylo fanfic on Etsy and you'll be fine.

[ros3ybabeslanguages]

Language Resources 🎀

*that I currently use for studying Spanish. When I pick up studying Japanese again, I will make a list for that as well <3 I currently use a handful of resources for learning Spanish, and they've all proven very useful so far!

🩷 My Current Resources for Spanish

Busuu - hands down my favorite language learning app. So much better than Duolingo, in my opinion (especially for languages with a different alphabet/writing system). I bought the premium for a year, which will expire in Septmeber, but I'm debating renewing again because I love it so much.

LingQ - I like using this for reading in Spanish. It gives me different types of things to read about, and while I don't have premium, I do put all the words I don't know into flashcards on AnkiApp on my laptop and translate anything I don't know using SpanishDict.

SpanishDict - favorite translation/dictionary app. I know it has lessons you can use, tho I haven't tried it yet, but I really do love this app. It's super helpful when I'm making flashcards or writing random vocabulary notes.

Goodnotes - This is a general note-taking app, but I love it because it allows you to import and write on PDFs, and that's just perfect for me! I've downloaded free PDF short stories/children's stories in Spanish and made notes of words I don't know, and taken notes in the app too. Definitely my favorite notes app, ever.

Italki - I know this is a website, too, but I use the app. It lets you work with professional teachers/community tutors in your target language. You can have structured lessons or just use it for conversation practice. I did a trial lesson not too long ago and have an upcoming lesson booked out in about 5 days. You pay per lesson, so there is no subscription, and there are so many languages and teachers/tutors to choose from. I did a lot of research before choosing a teacher, and I'm very happy with my decision so far. Definitely useful if there's not native speakers near you or you're like me and not confident talking to people you know in your target language/their native language.

Quizlet/AnkiApp - I use AnkiApp more then quizlet, and the Anki I'm referring to is NOT the same way everyone else uses, but it's the flashcard app of preference at the moment. I tried the AnkiDroid app and hated it. But yeah, AnkiApp is useful for flashcards and I really like it. I have it on my Chromebook and my Ipad.

Netflix - I love watching shows in Spanish on Netflix so much. I am currently watching La Reina del Sur on it (used to watch that sporadically in the past at a friend's house) and plan on watching some other shows, including Elite.

Spotify - I enjoy listening to Spanish music and podcasts right now. The music is more of an entertaining/enjoyable fork of audio input, and the podcasts help me get a feel for speaking and pronunciation and I choose podcasts that speak on topics of interest tk help with vocabulary in those areas I'd like to be able to speak about.

Textbooks - I have 2 PDF textbooks, Gramatica de Uso del Español: A1-B2 and Gramatica de Uso del Español: B1-B2. I've heard these are great for learning Spanish (and they're both only written in Spanish, like there's no English in them) and plan on using them once I figure out how to take good and useful textbook notes! I definitely need to improve on my grammar.

Those are all my current Spanish resources! I'd definitely say my current level is like a high A1 right now, nearing A2, but I have just a little bit of work to do before I get there. These resources are definitely gonna help, tho!

[alwaysonthemend]

A Night of Revelry | JTK

Author's Note: Here it is! My second GVF fic! This one got away from me a little bit and ended up a lot longer than I meant it to be. But oh well, Jake just has that effect on me. Again, this is unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own.

Summary: The boys are finally back home on a hiatus from tour and are enjoying some much needed rest and recovery. A dinner party at the Kiszka's house leads to you and Jake admitting some long kept secrets to each other. A night of revelry, indeed.

Content Warnings: Fem!reader, mentions of being drunk, fingering (f. receiving), hand jobs (f. receiving), p. in v. sex, unprotected sex (ya'll know better!) swearing, dom Jakey (yes, that's a warning) 18+ MINORS DNI

Word Count: 4544

Preview:

“Since you want to cum so bad,” Jake says with a dangerous smile gracing his lips, “you’re going to come over here and ride my thigh. And I’m going to sit here and watch as you make yourself come apart. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

From the very first moment that you met Jake, the man had been an enigma. He was quiet – content to allow others to fill the silence for him. At first, you’d mistaken his reservedness for shyness. But as you got to know him, you found that he is by no means a shy man. He’s quiet, sure. But he’s confident in himself. Confident to dress as he wishes and to like the things he does without a care in the world. From there, you had assumed that his quietness must be a result of growing up in a household with Josh. Josh loves to talk and you had figured that Jake was simply allowing him to do so. And for a time, that was that. Jake was the moon to Josh’s sun and was simply content to let others fill the silence for him.

But as you started to spend more time with him, you discovered that he wasn’t always that quiet. When he’s around his brothers, or Danny, or other close friends and family, Jake has a wicked sense of humor that can have the whole room clutching their sides with laughter. His dry sarcasm and witty rebuttals are unmatched – even by Josh. Not only is Jake hilarious, you soon discovered, but he loves to talk if it’s about the right subjects. He’ll talk for ages about films he likes or dislikes, or he’ll go on rants about things he reads, or podcasts he listens to. And of course he’ll talk for ages about his music. His eyes light up when he’s excited about a topic, and in those moments, you can see the same animatedness and excitement that his twin has. 

The first time you saw Jake play on stage, you saw yet another side of him that you had never seen before. Seeing him up on that stage changed something in you. He commanded attention. From the way he threw his head back as he played to the way he muttered under his breath to his guitar, everything about the man oozed confidence and sex appeal. You’d gone into the show with a growing crush on him, but you left completely head over heels for the man. Time passes, and you only find yourself more and more in love with him as the days go on. And as much as you want more than just friendship, you figure that it’s best to keep your burgeoning feelings to yourself. Jake is a sweetheart – always showing you kindness whenever the two of you hang out. But he’s so out of your league it’s almost funny. He’s a goddamn rockstar, for goodness sake! He could get just about any woman in the world if he really wanted to and you’re fairly confident that out of all of them, you wouldn't be the top choice. 

There are times when you think that maybe, just maybe, he might have feelings for you too. He’s always so attentive to you when you spend time with him – remembering little things that you tell him and always seeming to know when you’re having a bad day. And every now and again he brushes his fingertips over yours when he hands you something or his hand will ghost over your waist when he passes. But you try not to linger on those moments too much. He’s a gentleman who always makes the people around him feel at ease and you realize that it’s just the way Jake is. He’s too kind for his own good (and your own good) so you do your best to push the feelings down.

It’s nights like this night, though, that make crushing those feelings down so difficult. Tours are on a temporary hiatus and the band members are back home for some much needed R & R. And tonight, Karen had invited all of the Kiszka siblings, Danny, and several other family members and friends over for an intimate night of stories and spending time with one another. Dinner had been loud and exciting – as all meals with the Kiszkas are, and now the guests are all intermingling amongst themselves as the sun sets into night. Some are inside, polishing off the dessert and staying out of the summer heat. Others are gathered outside around the fire, sharing stories as Jake and Sam gently strum on their guitars. Naturally, you find yourself gravitating towards where Jake is. You’d just spent a good 30 minutes talking inside with Danny about whether Kurt Cobain actually wanted to kill himself or if he was just trying to get away from Courtney Love (you favor the latter), but now you’re feeling that familiar tug in your chest that always stirs whenever you’re away from Jake for too long. There’s a part of you that’s embarrassed for how attached to Jake you’ve become. You’re independent and consider yourself to be a fairly rational individual, but there’s something about Jake that makes all that fly out the window. You want – no, you need to be close to him. He’s gone so much during the year and you miss him like a limb that’s been chopped off. His absence aches with phantom pains and you figure that you deserve the reprieve of spending time with him while he’s here. 

You take a seat in one of the empty lawn chairs next to him and he gives you a small, private smile, before turning back to Ronnie as she tells a story. His cheeks are flushed with alcohol and his dark, wide brimmed hat lies discarded at his feet. You tune everyone out, and instead allow yourself to watch Jake’s fingers as he plays the guitar. No matter how many times you see and hear him play, his talent never fails to make you feel all warm inside. He loves his music, and his playing reflects that love. It’s like he’s sharing a piece of himself with you all – and you’re thankful that you get to hear it like this. He’s beautiful. That’s the only word you can think of to describe the way he looks right now. 

“You alright?” He asks, noticing the absent look in your eyes. 

“Hm?” Your eyes snap up from his hands to his eyes. “Oh. Ya, I’m good. Just tired, is all.” You can feel your cheeks grow hot as there’s no way he didn’t see you staring at him. 

“Too much alcohol, darling?” He laughingly says in his fake British accent that he’s so fond of. 

“Yeah,” you laugh in relief, thankful for the easy excuse. “Drank a little too much wine, I think.” 

He smiles and immediately you feel at ease again. 

“Happens to the best of us.” He says wistfully, back in his normal accent. “I myself have also partaken a little too much tonight.” 

“You?” You gasp dramatically, “Jacob Kiszka drinking too much? I’m shocked.” 

He laughs and shakes his head. 

“I know. It’s not like me at all.” 

You both turn your attention back to the rest of the group as Josh stands up and dramatically tells a story about something or other, though you still are entirely too aware of Jake’s presence next to you. He puts his guitar down and helps himself to another generous glass of bourbon as the night goes on. The night bleeds from too late into too early and you feel the tendrils of sleep beginning to cloud your thoughts. You stopped drinking a while ago and your buzz from earlier in the night has all but disappeared. You stare into the fire, the warmth from the flame coupled with the voices of your friends lulling you into a relaxed trance. 

“Care to join me for a smoke?” Jake asks, startling you from your reverie. 

“You know I don’t smoke.” You scold him lightly. 

“I know.” He says, rising from his seat and extending his hand towards you. “Join me anyways?” 

You nod and take his hand, allowing him to lead you around the front of the house to a more secluded area. From here, you can just barely make out the voices of the others as you round the corner out of eyesight. Jake leans back against the house and turns his face up to the sky. He looks painfully beautiful like that. You swallow and look away. 

“Thought we were coming over here so you could smoke.” You say, following his line of sight up to the sky. 

“Changed my mind.” He shrugged, turning to look at you. “Come next to me.” 

You pin him with a confused stare but comply. You walk over and lean your own shoulder against the house, careful to leave space between the two of you. 

“I’m glad you could be here tonight. I missed you while we were gone.” He’s looking back at the sky now and you take a moment to watch him. His cheeks are still flushed and his hair is pulled back in a loose bun. You don’t respond for a moment, carefully choosing your next words. 

“I’m sure you missed being home with all the craziness of being on the road.” You finally say. “I’m glad you all are back. It gets boring here without you guys to cause chaos.” You laugh, looking back up to the sky. 

Jake turns to you suddenly and grabs your arm. 

“No, seriously,” He says, staring at you in the moonlight. “I missed you.” 

You turn to look at him and he’s pinning you with that stare that makes you feel like he’s looking right through you – seeing every single thought that runs through your mind. 

“I missed you too, Jake. More than you know.” 

He lets go of your arm, seemingly content that the urgentness of his words were heard. 

“I hate having to leave you here when we go,” he says, “I miss you so damn much.” 

You turn to look at him and he does the same, his dark eyes locking with yours, You don’t really know how to respond. Hearing him say that to you makes your heart flutter in your chest. But you’re wary, too – wary of reading into his words wrong. That little spark of hope rears its head and it’s all you can do not to lean over and kiss him right then and there. 

“I hate it too, Jake.” You whisper, afraid to speak into whatever it is that's just taken place between the two of you. But before you have time to process what’s happening, Jake presses his soft lips to yours. You’re so stunned that you don’t kiss him back and he pulls back wide eyed. 

“I’m sorry.. I- I don’t know why I did that without asking first. I-” His eyes are filled with embarrassment and you can’t help but feel bad for him. 

“It’s okay, Jake.” You interrupt him.” I just don’t want you to do something that you’ll regret in the morning.” You take a breath to try and steady your heart rate as Jake stares at you. 

“So, you didn’t kiss me back because you think I’m too drunk?” He asks slowly, seemingly trying to process your words. 

You sigh. It hurt before, but hearing him say it out loud made the sting all the more painful. 

“Yes, Jake. You’re my best friend. I don’t want to lose our friendship over a drunken mistake.” There’s a small, hopeless little part of you that wants to say ‘fuck it’ and kiss him again anyway – even if he’ll regret it in the morning. Because deep down you know that this is the last chance you’ll ever get. You shove the little voice down. 

“We can just act like this never happened.” You assure him. 

“And what if I hadn’t been drinking before this?” He asks. “Would you have done the same?” 

You purse your lips and look away. The pain of this whole situation is settling into your bones, heavy as lead. 

“It doesn’t really matter, Jake.” You say honestly. “Whatever you’re feeling right now, it isn’t real.” 

Jake looks at you and his eyes carry a hurt in them that you’d never seen before. You want to look away – run away even, if it meant that you wouldn’t have to see that look in his eyes again. 

“I know it’s real, y/n. I may have been drinking, but it hasn’t given me feelings that weren’t already there.” He lets out a shaky breath. “The bourbon just gave me a little more courage to do something about these feelings.”

Your mind is awash with thousands upon thousands of thoughts and feelings. Hope, excitement, disbelief, fear; they all swirl through your mind so quickly you can barely catch hold of any of them. The thought that he might have feelings for you feels absurd. He’s Jake fucking Kiszka. It’s too good to be true. 

“You promise me?” You beg, practically shaking with all the emotions running through your mind. “Please, Jake. I can’t take it if this is just you getting caught up in the moment.” And it’s the truth. If this isn’t real, you doubt you’ll be able to survive it. 

“Answer my question first…” He says, stepping closer to you. “If I hadn’t been drinking and I kissed you, what would you do?” Jake’s eyes are shiny in the moonlight – his expression open and hopeful. 

Oh, fuck it. 

“I would kiss you back.” 

“Oh thank fuck.” He says, before crushing his lips to yours again. This time, you don’t hesitate to reciprocate, opening your mouth and allowing him to explore your mouth with his tongue. You feel dizzy with excitement and disbelief. You’re making out with the guy you thought you could never have and holy shit, it’s better than you ever dreamed it would be. 

“I promise you,” he says in between kisses, “that this is real. Realer than anything I’ve ever known.” 

Jake brings his palms up to cup your cheeks and you place your hands on his shoulders to draw him closer to you. The smell of bourbon and vanilla floods your nose as he presses his chest to yours. He pulls away and you let out an embarrassing whine. He stares at you – his brown eyes swirling with passion. 

“Y/n,” he says quietly, “what do you want?” 

You take a moment to drink in his appearance. He looks incredible with his hair pulled back. His trademark silver necklaces rest against his collarbone and his cream colored dress shirt is unbuttoned all the way down to his stomach. There’s a glisten to his skin from the summer heat and you’re struck with the sudden desire to taste its saltiness. 

“I want you to touch me, Jake.” You plead. 

He gives you a smirk and his eyes dance with mischief and excitement. 

“Come inside. My room.” He laces his fingers with yours and the two of you slip inside, completely unnoticed by the merry crowd outside. You skirt around the kitchen where everyone else still resides and you both bound up the stairs to Jake’s old room. 

Stepping into Jake’s old room feels personal. You’ve been in here before, but it still feels like you’re seeing something you’re not supposed to. The walls are covered in music posters, with artists from Cream to John Lee Hooker. The room smells like Jake – if a little faint, and several old guitars sit leaned against the wall. You stand in the middle of the room, suddenly overwhelmed. 

“Y/n?” Jake asks, coming to stand beside you as he places a warm hand on your shoulder. 

You look at him, taking in his beautiful features in the darkness of the room. The only light source coming from the moonlight spilling through the window. 

“Are you okay?” He asks, concern replacing the desire that had filled his eyes just moments before. 

“Yes, of course! I just-” You trail off, unsure how to put your feelings into words. 

“Y/n, I swear that I’m not that drunk. I’m a little tipsy, for sure. But I know what I want. I want you.” 

“I want you too, Jake. I do. This all just,” you wave your hands in a vague motion between the two of you, “this all just doesn’t feel real. I’ve spent so long thinking this was never a possibility and now I’m just a little overwhelmed to be honest.” You look down at your feet. This is all just too much to process in such a short amount of time. 

Jake walks over to his bed and takes a seat, gesturing for you to do the same. You follow, sinking down heavily beside him. 

“Look at me.” He says, placing his index beneath your chin to turn your face towards him. “Why can’t you believe that I want this?” He asks, a small hint of a smile ghosting his lips. 

“I just never thought that someone like you would be interested in someone… like me.” You say honestly. 

Jake furrows his brows at you. 

“Someone like me?” He grins and you can see the spit on his lips glisten in the dark. “Is it because I’m a rockstar? Super famous? Thousands of screaming fans all across the globe?” 

You scoff and nudge your shoulder into his playfully. 

“Not helpful at all. But yes, I guess so.” 

You both sit in silence for a moment. Your body is thrumming with nervous energy. 

“I’m not sure what I can say to convince you that I want you, y/n.” He says into the dark, eyes trained on the wall opposite the two of you. “I’ve always been drawn to you. Your smile, the way your eyes light up when you talk about things that excite you…” He turns to look at you now, his expression soft. “But this last leg of the tour, y/n…It was worse than usual. I missed you so damn much. I couldn’t ignore this any longer.” 

“You promise?” 

“I promise.” His eyes are full of truth. You see no lie in them. “Tell me if you want to stop, y/n.” 

You nod and allow him to push your back into the bed. He grips your thighs and spreads your knees apart before settling between them. You reach behind him and pull the hair tie from his hair, allowing it to fall freely to his shoulders. He chuckles and kisses you again, much softer now than before.

“Let me show you how real this is.” He whispers. 

“Please, Jake. Whatever you want.”

That seems to be all the permission he needs as he swiftly lifts your shirt above your head before sliding your skirt down your thighs. You reach out with shaky fingers and undo the few buttons that he had bothered to fasten, and you slide his shirt down and off his shoulders. Jake attaches his lips to your neck, leaving warm kisses down your throat. You moan and paw at the belt of his pants, desperate to feel more of him against you. 

“Patience, love.” He laughs as he unhooks your bra and throws it to the floor. “I want to make you cum first. We’ll get to me later.” 

He dips his hand into the waistband of your panties and slides them down. You kick them off as they pool around your ankles. Jake brings a calloused finger to your pussy, swiping through the wetness gathered there. 

“So wet…” he purrs, “All this for me?” 

“Only for you, Jake. Only for you.” 

You whine as his talented fingers begin to circle your swollen clit, just the way you had always imagined him doing when you watch him play guitar. He keeps his pace slow, teasing you and drawing out your pleasure. 

“Do you know how many times I’ve dreamed of this, y/n?” Jake asks as he begins to pick up his pace. His fingertips are rough, but the friction is so good you can barely think straight. 

“I dream about this pussy all the time – I dream about seeing you like this, all desperate and needy, and I wake up so hard it hurts.” He sinks his middle finger into you slowly, while his thumb continues in lazy circles on your clit. He crooks his finger inside you, brushing against your walls in a way that makes you arch your back in pleasure. He smiles, and slowly inserts his ring finger into you as well, pumping in and out of you slowly. 

You whine and buck your hips up to meet his hand, desperate for more. The sound of his voice, gruff with lust, is sending shocks of arousal straight to your core. 

“Jake, please,” you beg, as he curls his fingers inside you, “stop teasing.”

He laughs lowly but doesn’t give you anything more. 

“Use your words, sweetheart. Tell me what you want.”

“You know what I want.” Your voice is shaky and comes out in practically a whine. “Stop teasing. You already know.”

“Wanna hear you say it. Wanna hear those filthy things coming out of that pretty mouth.” 

He’s unrelenting in his teasing. You’re so close, but he won’t give you that last bit that you need to finally snap the coil building in your belly. 

“Please, Jake.” You moan, “Need to cum so bad. Need you to make me cum.” 

He grins and you think that he’s finally going to give you what you want. But he doesn’t. Instead he sits up, pulling his fingers from you, and leans back on the headboard, leaving you laying there confused. 

“Jake?” You ask as you sit up, feeling the wetness of your pussy leak down between your thighs. 

“Since you want to cum so bad,” he says with a dangerous smile gracing his lips, “you’re going to come over here and ride my thigh. And I’m going to sit here and watch as you make yourself come apart. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?” 

You nod, breathless. You crawl your way over to him and swing one leg obediently over his thigh. You can see his cock straining in his pants and your mouth waters at the sight. Next time, you know that you want to taste it. You slowly ease your aching pussy down onto his leg and roll your hips experimentally, dragging your clit against the fabric of his pants. 

“There you go, sweet girl.” Jake praises. He grips your ass with both hands, digging his fingers hard into your flesh. He’s looking up at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. You roll your hips again and start up a steady pace, the friction exactly what you needed. Jake slides one hand up to your breasts, circling and pinching at your raised nipples. His other hand stays where it is, solidly gripping your ass and keeping you grounded as you ride his thigh into oblivion. You quicken your pace as he mutters encouragement under his breath and your orgasm crashes through you like a tidal wave, and you moan his name loudly as you ride your way through the pleasure. You slip off from him and collapse onto your back next to him. 

“Jesus Christ, you look gorgeous like that.” He says as he rises from his seated position. “Such a needy, desperate little girl, aren’t you?” He says as he unbuckles his belt and slips out of his pants. He leans over you and brushes a strand of your hair away from your face and tucks it behind your ear – the softness of the gesture a stark contrast to his dominant words from before. 

“Kiss me.” You say, not at all embarrassed by the neediness of your request. 

“I’ll kiss you a thousand times if it’ll make you believe me when I say that you’re the only woman I could ever want. I want you, y/n. More than anything else in my entire life.”

“I want you too, Jake. Since I met you, I’ve wanted this. Just never thought I could have it.”

“Well, you have it.” He says, brushing his lips over yours. “You have me. And now I’m going to fuck you just to prove it even more.” He pulls his boxers down his hips, allowing his hard cock to spring free. You gulp. He’s big – bigger than anyone else you’d ever seen. 

“On your hands and knees, sweet girl.” Jake says as he pumps his cock a few times. You comply and groan loudly as he sinks his length into you slowly. He bottoms out and pauses, allowing you time to adjust. The coldness of his necklaces on your back feel good against your heated skin. 

“Move, Jakey. Need you to move. Now.” You say as you press your face into the pillow. 

Jake grasps your hips firmly and begins a brutal pace, pistoning his hips into yours. You moan loudly as he groans into your ear. 

“God, you’re so fucking tight, y/n.” His thrusts are fast and hard, rocking your entire body forward with each one. He feels so good you can hardly even think straight. All your thoughts are entirely consumed with Jake, Jake, Jake. 

“Don’t stop, J. ‘m so close.” You can feel your orgasm rapidly approaching and you start to rock your hips back to meet Jake’s thrusts. He wraps one arm around your belly, pulling you tighter to him as he picks up his pace even more. Your face is buried in his pillow, desperately trying to muffle your cries from the other occupants of the house. 

“Gonna cum for me, baby? Gonna cum on my cock?” Jake asks, as he drops his hand to circle your clit in time with his thrusts. 

“Jacob!” You wail as you finally cum, legs shaking as it tears through you. Your eyes are watering and your vision whites out from the sheer pleasure. Jake’s thrusts are erratic, desperate. 

“Say it again, y/n. Gonna cum in your tight, little pussy.” 

“Jacob- please.” You moan at the overstimulation and that’s all he needs. 

“Oh fuuuuck.” He groans as he spills inside you, breathing ragged in your ear. 

He pulls out of you, and you collapse to your stomach, utterly spent. 

“Stay there, sweetheart.” He mutters as he rises to get a wet washcloth. He returns quickly and you roll onto your back. He cleans you up softly, careful on your abused clit and pussy. He hangs the washcloth on his nightstand and crawls into the bed next to you. Placing a kiss to your forehead, he pulls the blankets up and over the both of you. 

“That was… incredible.” You sigh, exhaustion hitting you like a brick wall. You lay your head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent. 

“You’re incredible.” He says quietly, voice so soft compared to before. “I meant what I said, you know?” 

You glance up to look at him. He’s got that look in his chocolate brown eyes again – the one that makes you feel like he’s looking right through you. 

“There isn’t anyone else that I would rather be with than you, y/n. It’s not just about sex, as incredible as that was. I want you. As much of you as you’re willing to give me.” 

You press your lips to his in a sweet kiss. 

“I believe you. I want it all with you, Jake.” 

He huffs out a small laugh and kisses you again. 

“Thank fuck.” 

“Mmm.” You hum in agreement, closing your eyes and nuzzling into him. “My rockstar.” 

You miss the adoring smile Jake gives as you fall asleep.