#and i didn't get bullied either. what happened was i was ''''friends'''' with the most annoying person God has ever made me interact with

[celestiachan]

people on this website will make posts about things like having friends at school and running around and playing (physically. not on a wii or computer or phone) a lot as a child and every time i am forced to remember that the average tumblr user has more of a life than me

[lakesbian]

nobody move. i've just successfully articulated the sentiment that taylor's power turns her into a panopticon because she was living in one & explained her trigger in a way i feel satisfied with for the first time in my life

the concept of the panopticon is not just about surveillance, but about creating an environment where people cannot be sure whether or not they are being surveilled, and thus must constantly act under the assumption that they are. which is exactly what happened to taylor--we see from when we first meet her in the school that she's anticipating attack from every possible direction to avoid it, and the one time she lets her guard down a fraction and assumes she's found a safe spot to hide from abuse, she's targeted with the juice spills. and this is after her trigger event, but it's clear she behaves this way because it was beaten into her over the entire course of the bullying. it's what she describes when she recounts the trigger:

“I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.  But I made a friend, one of the girls who had sometimes joined in on the taunting came to me and apologized.  ...  Her approaching me and befriending me was one of the big reasons I could think the harassment was ending.  I never really let my guard down around her, but she was pretty cool about it. “And for most of November and the two weeks of classes before Christmas break, nothing.  They were leaving me alone.  I was able to relax.” I sighed, “That ended the day I came back from the winter break. I knew, instinctually, that they were playing me, that they were waiting before they pulled their next stunt, so it had more impact. I didn’t think they’d be so patient about it. I went to my locker, and well, they’d obviously raided the bins from the girls bathrooms or something, because they’d piled used pads and tampons into my locker. Almost filled it.”

the precise moment when she stopped consciously anticipating and preparing to react to abuse--when she relaxed, when she stopped acting as if the lack of danger didn't mean that she couldn't still be hurt at any time--is when she was brutally reminded that she's never safe. she's still in the panopticon. she isn't literally being watched every second, she isn't literally in lifelong danger of having her vulnerabilities exploited, but it feels like she is. she can never ever be sure she's safe.

so she triggers, and she gets a power that turns her into a panopticon, and lets her watch everyone right back. it lets her regain control by turning her into a source of danger that could attack anywhere, from any direction, any time, fully unexpected.

& the reason her power enables her to watch Everyone--not just a single person, or a few people--but Everyone, is that the other major aspect of her trigger is the trauma of facts like this:

“It was pretty obvious that they had done it before the school closed for Christmas, by the smell alone. I bent over to throw up, right there in a crowded hallway, everyone watching. Before I could recover or stop losing my breakfast, someone grabbed me by the hair, hard enough it hurt, and shoved me into the locker.”

"All I could think was that someone had been willing to get their hands that dirty to fuck with me, but of all the students that had seen me get shoved in the locker, nobody was getting a janitor or teacher to let me out."

for months, for years, she was in a community where everyone regularly witnessed her humiliation and abuse, and everyone, dozens and dozens of kids and teachers, either contributed to it or was knowingly, silently complacent. this is what sticks with her: the idea that she is so universally reviled, so deserving of revile, that any crowd of witnesses would, without hesitation, consign her to the filth of the locker.

what else is she supposed to conclude, but that everyone she interacts with is a threat? that she can't drop her guard ever again, because no one will be coming to help her if she does? of course she has to become the panopticon. of course she has to watch everyone, all of the time, if she wants to stop it from happening again. of course she has to live among the teeming lowly and crawling things she has been taught via one firm shove that she is worth less than, and of course she has to use them to watch everyone back. and it would be inaccurate to say that doing this--monitoring everything with her bugs--makes her feel safe. all it does is allow her to remain in a constant state of paranoia and traumatized hyper-vigilance more efficiently.

[miwiheroes]

Byler + Closet Imagery

Just wanted to show just how much closet imagery and references there are in stranger things and how it's super obvious, that it's kind of insane that it goes over the GA's heads so much. It's mostly with Mike as well, funnily enough.

Closet imagery has been used in media over the years to show that a character might be gay but the audience/the other characters just don't know it yet.

For example, it was used here in Paper Girls (2022) for KJ who was not out as gay yet.

It was also used for Eyewitness (2016) with Lukas who also has internalised homophobia and we already know that Byler has had a parallel to Eyewitness before.

So, it's interesting that this closet imagery has been used for Mike and Byler ever since the show began in Season 1. Let's look at all the ways it has been used and how insane these are that some people deny them because UHHHH....

1. Mike hides El in his closet

Karen: "With all this that's been going on, with Will, I can't imagine what it's been like for you... i just-- want you to feel like you can talk to me. i never want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me. i'm here for you. okay?"

Mike: *is hiding El in the closet* *a noise comes from the closet after Karen says these things* *he lies about it* *Karen then hugs Mike later on when Will 'dies' HADGSJHDG*

2. Argues with El in a closet

I find it so funny how the framing here is El literally between Mike and some male dummy and then she grabs it from him LMAOO i love cinematography.

Mike: 'You are the most important thing to me in the worl-'

El: *interrupts him* 'What if [Hopper's] right?'

Mike: *feels attacked as she questions the legitimacy of their relationship while she holds a male dummy in the closet* "No, no no no. He's just some angry old man who hates joy."

Why are you questioning the sanity of someone instead of using actual arguments for your relationship?? Oh that's right, you're in the closet <3

3. Kisses El in front of a closet

Particularly, this is Will's closet as well.

El: "I love you too" *kisses Mike*

Mike: *makes disgusted/ confused face* *doesn't kiss back and has his eyes open* *has the light coming from the closet framed on his head as if he's realised something.*

El: *walks away smiling*

Mike: *looks to the side confused with an open closet next to him* *thinks What is wrong with me?/ What just happened here? (original script)*

Also the music is "The First I love You" which is the same music they use in a scene where Robin comes out of the closet.

4. Mike reads a letter from El in front of a lit up closet

Bro is reading a note with RAINBOWS ON IT and then the camera pans to him reading with a literal open closet which is lit up right next to him. How is this not blatant queer-coding??

Also Mike: *panics in front of a closet which has a ray of light shining on him* *has a one-way sign pointing into the closet which is revealed when he bends down*

I am going insane at this it's so funny

5. Argues with his bestie bro when a song called "In The Closet" plays

aka arguing with Will about how he sabotaged your day by ignoring you instead of your gf getting bullied x

Will: "Well we used to be best friends!"

Mike: *looks devastated as a song called "In The Closet (at Rink O' Mania)" plays when the camera goes back to him* "Well maybe you should've reached out more, I don't know. Why is this on me? Why am I the bad guy?"

El: *is hiding from Mike in a closet*

Why are you suddenly switching the blame Mike??? Oh girl you're a little too defensive

6. Mike and Will have a heart-to-heart in front of an open closet

Mike: "No, no you didn't deserve anything... Hawkins isn't the same without you... Maybe I was worrying too much about El... felt like I lost you or something... Friends, 🥺❤️ best friends."

All while Will is tearing up in front of a closet (also the picture here on the left literally has them framed on either side of an open closet WDYMMM)

Anyways,

Byler Endgame

[lovdlydaz]

❝ TOUCH ME WHERE YOU NEED TO, I CAN GIVE YOU MORE. ❞

loser!choi soobin x black!afab!reader

poor soobin, always been tortured and bullied at school just for being different and caring about his grades. but, need not worry, as you, his lovely best friend, show him things he would only ever dream about.

warnings: virgin!soobin, pervy!soobin, switch!reader, subby soobie, p in v, unprotected sex, m!masturbation, butt loads of praise, little tidbits of degradation, pet names, mommy kink, big dick soobin, js soobin being a little wimp enjoy

a/n: sorry for being so absent y'all, a lot has happened over these past months and i've been on and off in this community. i will try my hardest to get back in full swing since it is summer for me, but it isn't a promised guarantee. however, i will be writing more content for both k-pop and anime, since both are very prevalent in my headspace rn. but subby stupid loser soobin has been rotting in my mind for so long i just had to write about it, so please enjoy this as much as i most definitely did. love y'all, enjoy!!

it was never a quiet day in soobin's life, having to deal with all sorts of things from his work being shoved off his desk to food being thrown at him during lunch hours. this was his senior year of college and, by now, these childish adults should be over this phase right? but, sadly, since he had told people that he thought were his friends that he hadn't been laid ever in his life, they told the entire school and now every person that he comes in contact with either tries to seduce him or make fun of him because of this fact.

but not you, you were different.

soobin had always taken a liking to you, being his roommate and the one person that he could be himself with. he didn't have to make up a persona or have to be this way in order to be accepted, no, you liked and had in common some stuff that he liked, like anime and DnD. he was more than grateful that you didn't torment him like half of the school did, and that you were a pure soul that could do no wrong.

he followed you like a puppy ever since you two met, which you didn't mind but it sort of gave you scary dog privileges. every time you went to the store, he was right besides you with his headphones around his neck and hands in his pockets. no guys would try to mess with you since your 6'1 guy best friend looked like he could kill someone, but he would never.

he would wander off in parts of the store and come back with different manga/funko pops he would find of his favorite anime characters, begging you to buy them for him since he didn't have a stable job nor stable money. you were kind enough to buy it for him and watch him add it to his collection of funko pops on his shelf filled with manga and figurines and all sorts of other things. you watched as he happily organized his collection, giggling like a little girl as he stacked jujutsu kaisen volumes together like a jenga puzzle.

everything he did, you found adorable and innocent. however, he was far from it.

while you were asleep, he would crawl into your room and go through your dirty laundry, grabbing your freshly used underwear and crawling back to his room with them. he would hold them until his nose as he jerked off, moaning your name as he orgasmed right on them. of course he would wash them and put them back in your drawer without you noticing, but you never seemed to wake up despite all of that.

soobin never felt guilty about it either, since that was the closest thing to sex that he would ever get, that he thought of.

one day, you two were walking to the mall, your hair bouncing with your steps due to your letting your curls out in a controlled afro. he watched your smaller form move with your little pink skirt with your pink clothes and nice pink accessories. you had a bit of a bimbo aesthetic, not really so but you dressed in girly colors and girly clothes, never giving a care in the world what others had to say.

you were going to the store to go to a store that soobin specifically wanted to go to. it was a clothing store that also had some mangas in the back of them, but this time he didn't go for the mangas. instead, he wanted to go to the men's section to see what clothes he could get, since he had been wearing the same 5 hoodies ever since his freshman year. you went over with him of course, since you had fashion sense that he had no clue of what that even meant.

he looked at a shirt that had some cool little cartoon designs on it, along with some baggy jeans that had stars on them. he turned to you and held them out, your eyes lighting up and nodding at him for approval. "yes soobie! that fit is so hard," you giggled, soobin smiling at your excitement but he was heading to the changing room. you followed behind him, watching him as he went into the men's room.

he came out in the outfit and it looked so good on him, a little too good in fact. it had your eyes raise in shock and you biting your lip, his whole aesthetic was coming together nicely and it had you feeling things you thought you wouldn't feel for a while. especially for your best friend since freshman year, which was probably why and how these feelings developed overtime.

you chewed your lip as he walked up to you, holding his arms out and looking down at you. "you really do like it?" he asked, pushing his hair out of his face so he could see your face better. "y... yes! yes i do like it choi. it looks really good on you," you softly spoke, making him raise an eyebrow in confusion but he didn't think much of it. he just shrugged and went back to the changing room, getting his regular clothes on and taking the store clothes off.

after that, the whole day was filled with soobin using pinterest as his inspiration to find the coolest outfits that fit his aesthetic. you were happy he was finally starting to gain some confidence in his clothes, the outfits getting from baggy to tight to baggier to tighter. he had a good body so each outfit fit him perfectly, and you enjoyed the tighter outfits better than the baggy ones.

it was starting to get dark outside, so that was when you decided it was time to leave. you grabbed all of your shopping bags (you and soobin's), before the taller man stopped you. "oh y/n, you don't have to carry all the bags. let me do it," and he did. he grabbed all the bags out of your hands with no struggle, walking them to your car and putting them in the back. you smiled and followed after him, loving how kind he was towards you.

it was a nice drive home and you were enjoying his company, even though he was yapping to you about the newest episode of mha that had just came out that day. he had watched it before you two had left and it was plaguing his mind the whole time. he was so excited about it, even though he had the entire manga on his bookshelf that he read about 10 times in the span of 2 years. you didn't mind it however, since he was so cute when he was excited.

once you two got back to the dorms he took all the bags up the stairs and into your shared rooms, you right behind him and opening the door for him since his hands were very full. he walked in and dropped the bags down on the couch, turning around to see you closing the door behind him and locking it. he smiled as he made his way over to the kitchen, immediately going to the fridge since he was a bit hungry from all the escapades you both had went on.

you had decided to cook for the evening, letting him have time to grab all the bags and put them in your respective rooms. he realized how much you really spent on him and yourself, and he was just wondering how in the hell you had so much money. but, then he remembered that you did have a super rich family, and you were very smart so the school was paying you on a full academic scholarship. he was more than grateful though, so he would do something in order to make it up to you.

he would just have to think about it.

even though soobin was a loser and unemployed, he promised that he would still try to get you something special. just because you were his best friend didn't mean that he couldn't treat you nicely. so, he went to a store that you absolutely loved, a makeup store at that, and bought an item that you had wanted but it was out of stock when you both had went the other day. he also purchased a little bag with some stuffing paper, making it a nice little gift with a card inside.

he set it down on your bed when you were at class, since he didn't have class today. and since he didn't have class, he was going to cook for when you got home.

it took a lot of trials and tribulations in order to make a meal that he assumed would remind you of your home back in america, so it was a standard american meal. chicken tenders with fries and some fruit punch on the side. he made the chicken tenders from scratch and used some seasonings that you had brought from your home back there to use in the food. he knew that you were going to love this, and he was all the way right.

as soon as you got home your nose was hit with the wonderful scent of very good food in the kitchen, a smile on your face as you walked over to where the scent was originating from. you were pleasantly surprised to see choi soobin in the kitchen, wearing a tank top and shorts while cooking some more fries. you couldn't hold back your gratitude, going up to him and hugging him tightly.

"thanks soobie! you're the greatest person in the entire world," you beamed, making him 1. blush, 2. stutter over his words and 3. involuntarily gain a massive boner from the hug. he was very thankful for the baggy shorts however, and how he had tucked his cock in his pants to where it was barely noticeable. you did notice though, but you didn't speak about it.

the dinner was filled with laughter and gossip, you telling him about your girl drama while he ranted to you about his gaming prowess. it was a great dinner, and you were both very tuckered out by the time the sun fell.

going to your room you went to grab some clothes, putting your freshly done braids in your bonnet before going to the bathroom and closing the door. that gave soobin the advantage of going into your room and laying on your pillow. he could smell every bit of you, every single scent that lingered on you today was on the pillow and god did it make him hard as a rock.

he palmed himself through his shorts, groaning soft chants of your name and getting so caught up in it that he hadn't realized the shower had cut off, and you were now watching him with a towel wrapped around your body.

his glasses were fallen off his face at this point, tilted as he softly whimpered praise about how you smelled and how pretty you looked. he was so desperate for you that he couldn't stop himself from imagining how your pussy felt, how it smelled, how it tasted, everything about it. he wanted you so badly but he was too much of a pussy to ask you out, and too scared to lose the friendship that he had worked so hard to maintain.

you were his only friend, he couldn't lose one of the only people that understood how he was and why he was this way. he couldn't lose you, so that's why he only fantasized about you.

so, when he finally came back from his imagination his eyes traveled everywhere until they were met with yours. he jumped so hard he tumbled off the bed, quickly getting up and going to leave before you stopped him, despite you being much shorter and weaker than he was. he still let you stop him by standing in his way, giving him a fake disgusted expression even though you were dripping on your thighs right now.

"soobin, what the fuck?" you spat, making the pale boy look down in shame and fear. he knew that he was going to fuck this up, so small tears came into his eyes as the realization of what he had done and the punishment for it finally crawled into his mind. "y/n i— i'm so sorry... i'll leave if you want i... i'm sorry." he mumbled softly, trying to push past you but you didn't let him.

your hand traveled to his chin and you tilted it up, forcing him to look down at you, but in the eyes this time. you didn't say anything, but you just wiped his tears away and smiled sweetly at him. "soobie... don't cry. i'm not mad or disgusted at all, i'm just a little shocked is all," you admitted sincerely, making him raise an eyebrow in confusion. "why are you shocked?" he asked, making you chew on your lip and remove your hands from his face.

"well... i mean, this is one of the first times i've had a guy come into my room and sniff my pillows while moaning my name. so who wouldn't be a little shocked in this situation?" you giggled, making him loosen up a little bit. "yeah... you're right. so... you're not mad at all?" he softly questioned, making you shake your head. "no choi, i'm not mad at all," you reiterated, making him smile brightly at that.

however, you were pretty desperate as well, soaking between your legs and you were still very much naked underneath the towel. soobin also noticed how your voluptuous breasts were starting to poke through the towel, making them a lot more perky than he would normally see them. he could feel his cock throb at that, him gulping a little to keep the saliva from crawling out of his mouth. "though..." you trailed off, making him snap back to reality and realize that he was basically staring dead at your chest.

"it was pretty hot seeing you like that honestly... i know you've never had sex or a girlfriend before, so... i want to ask something of you," you got closer to him, standing on your tippy toes to try to be even with the man's face. "can i be your first?" you asked, not making a move until he said something. he lost his breath as soon as you asked that, mouth dry and heart threatening to pump straight out of his chest because of that revelation.

he needed a second to come down from cloud nine in order to answer you, so you let him. after a second though he nodded his head, you leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. his eyes widened in shock, he had never kissed a girl before, and this was like heaven on earth. he was so happy to be tasting your lips as his first time, and... you would be his first time for everything.

despite his avid use of the orange and black website that most pre-teens to bitchless adults go to for entertainment, he didn't have a fucking clue of what the hell he was doing. he just knew that you weren't letting go of the kiss, so he wouldn't either. that was until you did pull away, which had him chasing your lips desperately because he didn't want to let them go. he just wanted to be near you and be all over you, which he would in a while.

you giggled and got off your tippy toes, grabbing his hand and pulling him to the bed. you put yourself on the bed and laid down, beckoning him to come over to you. he did so in an instant, he was so obedient and it was turning you on even more. you grabbed his face and started to kiss him deeper, having him on top of you made this even better since you could feel all of him all over your body and feel the way he squirmed under your touch.

you could tell that he was very nervous, the way he couldn't even touch your body and how stiff he was in the kiss was a tell-tale sign of it all. so, you pulled away (much to his dismay) and placed a hand on his chubby bunny cheeks. "soobie, you don't have to be so tense with me. i know this is your first time being intimate with someone, but you have to trust me, okay baby?" you spoke in a compassionate tone, the pet name just slipping out. he obviously didn't object to that but it seriously caught him off guard, which made his cheeks redden with a small nod.

you smiled softly at him before sitting up, gently pushing him down so now his head was at the edge of your bed. you took the towel and sat up on your knees, slowly removing it and exposing your naked beautiful body. well, he saw it as beautiful, even though you had some chub around your hips and thighs, but he didn't mind that. in fact, it seemed to turn him on more. he saw every aspect of you as a goddess in his mind, a person who could do absolutely no wrong. he was so in love with you, and he was very happy that he was able to get his virginity taken by someone like you.

once the towel was off you threw it to the ground, crawling towards soobin and straddling his hips. you leaned down and started to softly kiss his neck, causing him to let out a shocked noise at the sudden feeling of your plump lips on his sensitive neck. quite frankly, everywhere on him was sensitive, despite how many sessions him and his right hand had late at night. maybe because it was you, he wasn't quite sure. he just wanted this feeling to continue.

you trailed your lips down to his covered chest, looking at him and basically asking with your eyes if you could take off his tank top. "can i?" which was followed by an immediate "yes mommy," which had you a little taken aback. once he realized what he had just said he sat up quick, knocking you back a little and forcing your ass straight onto his clothes cock. he bit back a groan as small tears gathered in his eyes, covering his face and hiding it with his large ass hands.

" 'm sorry y/n— i-i didn't mean to say that it just— it just slipped out," he was basically pleading with you not to leave, he wanted to lose his virginity to you, he wanted you to take him however you wanted him to. he was about to cry when you just chuckled and kissed his cheek, making him flush harder. "choi, it's okay. you don't have to be so scared to try things with me. if i don't like it, i'll tell you. if i do like it, then i'll also tell you. and i quite frankly love that name. you can keep calling me that if you're comfortable with it, because i sure am," you told him, making him nod his head and softly smile at you. "okay... mommy."

now that that was out of the way, you went to go remove his top and he let you, holding his arms up and the top coming straight off. he then decided to slip off his shorts and boxers, leaving you both completely naked under each other's gaze. he was so beautiful, sleeper-ish build with silky smooth skin that you wanted to ruin. he was so perfect... god he would be the perfect man.

your lips connected again and this time soobin immediately melted into it, relaxing himself as you went back to straddle his lap. your ass was right on his cock, softly rubbing against just to see how his face scrunched up with pleasure in the kiss, swallowing up all his sounds. he loved this, this was everything he could've ever dreamed of. he was about the fuck the girl of his dreams, the reality hitting him like a pleasant surprise. he couldn't hold back the dripping of pre-cum that was all over your ass by now, making him even more embarrassed than he was before. however, you thought it was hot, and you wanted him to cum deep inside you.

this time, he was the one to pull away, panting softly as he looked at you with those bright eyes of his. "please... m-mommy just— just use me, i need it so bad," he begged you with such a whiny voice, god it had you throbbing so hard. you both were needy for each other and it showed with every action you two made towards each other. so, you didn't keep him waiting for long.

"of course baby," you cooed, biting your lip before starting to get yourself situated. you put your hands on his shoulders and stood up on your knees, guiding yourself to be right above his aching cock. he gulped as you started to sink down on his ridiculously big cock. seriously, how in the hell did he keep such a monster like this in his pants? you struggled a little as you tried to sink down, realizing that you would need soobin's help in order to fully go down.

though, when you looked to ask him for help the man was so far good, eyes in a daze and mouth open and panting heavily. he looked hot as shit but you needed his assistance in trying to get yourself fully around his cock, so you put a hand on his cheek even with your trembling hand. "binnie... c—can you please help me? you're... way too big—" you strained out, feeling the pain starting to kick in despite your wetness. this man was fucking huge and he didn't even know it, but he would help you at any means necessary.

so, he grabbed your hips and, with a little jerk of his arms, slammed you right onto his cock. this motion caused you and him to both moan out in pleasure, you arching your back and soobin's eyes rolling to the back of his head. after you both came down you started to slowly move your hips, your wetness covering his area so sloppily it was exactly like a porn video. he was mesmerized by your body and how fluidly you could move, he was in a trance by your hips. so much so that he involuntarily thrusted his hips upwards, causing you to moan out in pleasure but causing him to quickly stop your hips, confusing you.

"w— what's wrong bin?" you asked, trying to keep your voice steady but you were already close to your orgasm. "that didn't hurt? what i just did?" he asked, which just made you softly giggle. "no soobin, it didn't hurt at all. please do it again," you pleaded, making something in the man switch by your begging.

he grabbed you and slammed you onto the bed, pulling your hips forward and ramming deep inside you. meanwhile he had no clue what the hell he was doing, he was just trying to follow what porn had taught him. although, he could tell that you were enjoying it by the way your noises increased in volume, how more fidgety you were because of the immense amount of pleasure he was giving you. so, he continued with his unorganized pace, still moaning alongside you as he did so.

"b-bin— fuck baby 'm's'close—" you whined, making him speed up a little as well. "f-fuck... me too mommy, m-me too—" he whimpered alongside you, you pulling him down for a steamy wet kiss. this instantly had the man's hips stuttering, shoving himself as deep as he could right into your g-spot, his cum flowing against it which had you clenching around him as well. your noises were equally swallowed by each other, this being the most intense orgasm both of you have had in your lives.

after a few minutes you both came down from your highs, you looking at the man above you who was a wreck. his glasses were basically off of his face now, lips red and swollen from your kissing, pupils blown and dazed with a red face to top it all off. he was so sexy, but he was on the verge of passing out. so were you, since that orgasm took a lot out of you. so, you both decided it would be nice to just lay next to each other, but not before deciding something.

"u-uhm... y/n?" choi chirped, making you turn your head in his direction. "hm?" "what... are we now?" he sheepishly pondered, you reaching a hand out and massaging his face. "boyfriend and girlfriend silly," you smiled softly, while he grinned brightly. "really?" "mhm. now goodnight baby, see you in the morning." your drowsy voice stated before he held you in his arms, you easily falling asleep. however, he couldn't sleep, because his mind was racing with so many things that sleep didn't come until the early morning.

which wasn't a problem, since you both slept until 1pm that day.

© gg 2023. dividers were made by me. do not steal, use, or repost my work without my consent. reblogging/interaction is welcomed.

[shigarakisslutbag]

Here are some "romance" tropes I feel would fit shigarakis love style if he were in a relationship or liked someone:

Grumpy and sunshine

Like actual grumpy/sunshine. Not bully x sunshine/sweet reader lol.

Idc what anyone says I firmly believe tomura would have a soft spot for his love interest. It would probably take a long time to build these sort of feelings, but once he does, he does his best to hide it

One: scared of ruining his reputation

Two: doesn't want any hero to use those feelings against him. This is a huge reason it takes him a while to admit any feelings to even himself, he doesn't one the one good thing he has, to disappear.

It kind of plays into the next one

Opposites attract

This isn't always the case of course. And in some aspects tomura would obviously want someone similar to him (hobbies, valuing alone time ((probably)), loyal, etc)

However

This sounds a bit cheesy lol but bare with me. You're like the one thing that keeps him afloat. He can't grow and mature if it's always raining (so to speak), so he needs "sunshine" to remind him that he has supporters. He needs someone to keep him in check and remind him of the things he has going for him when he can only see the cons of a situation.

The Wonderful thing about you, is that you don't just tolerate him, you actively want to see him succeed and want to help further his cause.

He'll fs act like your bubbly personality is inconvenient though, but if you have even a slight change in your attitude, he notices. And will ask you what's going on (in his own way lol. He's trying give him a break. If he didn't care he'd definitely just tell you to get over yourself)

Soul mates

Okay listen. Listennn. This may not sound very realistic at face value. But in a scenario in which you aren't affiliated with the league at all, he'd probably meet you out in public. Likely out to steal some new game or snack/drink he wanted (from a chain store ofc. If it's a chain it's free reign)

That said, he'd either see you on his walk there or in the actual store. Either way, he's burdened by some hero on their first job not knowing, well, how to do their job.

This hero in particular has some sort of "cupid"- like quirk.

Shigaraki, to his dismay, gets hit lol. No one could recognize him with a face mask and hoodie on though. But the first person he looked at was, you guessed it, you. You locked eyes with each other and he felt something he hadn't felt before. It made his stomach turn. He hated and loved it. Was it butterflies? Wasps?? Either way he feels like he just touched wet food in the sink but also wonders how he got so lucky to see eyes like yours- god, he hated being in public .

Tomura, after being hit, fell down from the force of what hit him. Literally fell for you. And you said something he'd never heard before. Something no one has ever really asked besides his mom

"are you okay?" And it's all down and uphill from there .

First love mixed with childhood friends trope

Last one, promise lol. Unless someone asks for a continuation.

I mention these two tropes mixed together, because honestly I see this as one of the most likely tropes. Tomura, as an adult has probably only a vague memory of you due to all the trauma. He blocked out quite a lot.

You were probably one of his closest friends. Granted, you two only knew each other for a brief time as you were both around 5 years old when the tragedy happened. You two probably met in elementary school if his parents sent him (elementary is not mandatory in Japan from what I read. They start first grade after they turn 6 is though). If it wasn't that, you two were likely neighbors or something. Regardless, you two were inseparable at the time.

As kids, you both had a pretty innocent view on how the world worked. Little you at one point may have even asked him why he scratches his face all the time. He'd say he doesn't know, but it feels worse when he's at home. Youre tiny little heart couldn't handle seeing the sad look on your friend's face. Almost immediately you took him to your bathroom and got the "tube with medicine stuffs" that your parents used when you got scratches to help itching or pain (which was probably calamine lotion or cortisone), and put some little bandaids on his face (he said the all might ones would make his father mad. That made you more sad, but you kept those feelings to yourself)

He'd even come back to your place when he felt itchy at home. One night though, you ran out of the topical treatment. You were both sad but went on about your time playing pretend and talking about whatever you two could think of. Time went by and he realized he wasnt itchy. Not with you. Never with you. From that moment forward he considered you his "bestest friend".

As an adult, he probably only memorized you from a feeling of loss, and missing something that he couldn't pinpoint why. This probably made him itch more. It wasn't until he had his transformation arc and his voice matured, that he realized what was making him itch so much. It was the loss of you. At least he doesn't itch anymore.

A/N: OP tries not the make themselves cry challenge (fails miserably). Anyways if there's any typos I apologize. It's 3 am and I wrote this out on a whim. Ikik I got too carried away writing, but oh well. Some of these I felt like writing a whole fic for tbh lol. That said, feel free to tell me what your favorite trope is and which one of these you loved the most:)

[imviotrash]

I honestly think that Joanne had it the worst (psychologically) during the midnight tea party.

Imagine being bullied and isolated for a year, because someone fabricated an entire web of lies about you due to you getting a tiny bit of positive attention. The truth about the situation finally comes to light, you get your (very demanding) dream job, are well liked among your peers and are finally included within the schools society.

And then within one night you:

-discover your comfort teacher and your first friend are not real and are actually private investigators

-find out your boss who is supposed to be your role model and protector is a murderer

-realize that the principal has been on vacation for a year and was replaced by THE FUCKING GRIM REAPER

-learn that the vice principal is DEAD (and was subjected to human experimentation)

-learn that you're the second replacement for a guy who got brutally murdered and ALSO subjected to human experimentation (which you are witnessing right Infront of your eyes in real time)

-literally hear why and how these humans have been experimented on

-see how someone gets turned into dinner

-almost get turned into dinner yourself and can't escape on time because your body shut down out of shock.

-see how your "friend" is hunted for sport by the grim reaper.

-also see your "comfort teacher" crush someone's head right Infront of you.

-become unconscious out of shock.

-loose not only your boss, two friends (Soma and Ciel )and comfort teacher after this whole fiasco, but also your entire network of coworkers because they got a promotion you're too young to have.

-on top of that YOU CANNOT talk about what happened to you to anyone because you were sworn to secrecy and you can't really talk about it privately to your former colleagues either, since they're now a completely different rank than you.

Like- the guy didn't get physically injured, but he was the only real student to witness the entire Midnight tea party, because he couldn't escape on time. (And let's also not forget that he's the youngest of the real students present at the party and definitely the most sensitive one).

Since the Midnight tea party will happen again, Joanne and his former coworkers are probably forced to attend again since they can't really publicly share the reason as to why they don't want to go.

[starry-bi-sky]

childhood friends danny and jason miscellaneous thoughts: because why not, i'm reworking ch2 because it no longer fits with the remaster of chapter 1 so i've been thinking of them, and i love talking about them. which you should totally go read the remaster because its 26k words and im very proud of it and it barely got any attention.

First off Ellie vapes. Mostly because I think its real fucking funny. The first time Danny finds out about it he gets all up in arms about it. Ellie at first thinks its because she's smoking -- which, helloooo pot meet kettle, Danny has been smoking for a lot longer than she has.

And then he throws a curveball at her and says he's upset specifically because its vaping. Like no, no. Dammit, if you're gonna fuck up your lungs you gotta do it properly, none of this cotton-candy flavored nonsense.

He plays it up for laughs and it's largely non-serious 'i can't believe you're using a vape', if only to hide the fact that he is genuinely displeased with his little sister smoking. Self-destructive behaviors and bad habits are his thing, thank you very much.

But, well, he knows he'd be a hypocrite if he told her he didn't like that she was smoking. He's aware its bad for him, but habits are hard to break and he's not particularly keen to break this one in particular.

Danny bullies her relentlessly about it whenever she vapes in front of him. Like don't be a loser, Elle, carry a carton of cigs and a lighter in your back pocket like the rest of us degenerates.

[more under the cut]

Secondly: Danny's piercings? He got the first lobe piercings as a lost bet from Sam in junior year, and they did it in her room with a needle, a small bottle of blood blossom extract, and an apple. He broke out in hives for a week after thanks to the blood blossom, but it prevented the hole from healing up :)

He got the rest done professionally at a piercing place in the Ghost Zone. He asked Johnny where to find it. Sam and Johnny (and Kitty) nearly convinced him into getting snakebites. He got an eyebrow piercing instead.

Danny's undercut is also self-done, he did it because Technus shot at him with an ectoblast and it missed hitting him, but set his hair on fire. Danny got it out pretty quickly, but it left his hair lopsided and obviously looking like it got burned by something. He went to Sam for help after the fight. He liked the way it looks so he's kept it that way since.

-

Vlad brought up Jason once(1) in a taunt during a fight, and this was after Jason disappeared from the ghost zone, and Danny very. very nearly killed him on the spot. He hasn't done it since.

Which leads into the other thing: Grief Triggers! As I call them. All Banshees have them in this au.

While all banshees are, in general, in a permanent state of grief, Grief Triggers are a specific emotional response that can cause them to spiral into a state of intense, sometimes debilitating sorrow, and most of the time causes them to start wailing.

Banshees know what their Grief Triggers are and in general tend to try and build up a form of resistance against it so that, if something occurs that happens to trigger said grief, they can at least either get away from other ghosts to let loose or have enough control over themselves that it'll take more work to send them spiraling.

As expected, Jason is Danny's grief trigger. He's built up a pretty good resistance to it so that hey, talking about him and his death is easier than when Danny was fourteen. But a little more prodding and it will trigger, especially depending on who brings him up and how. (See: Vlad)

Grief Triggers also manifest relatively the same; with the induction of an intense state of grief and sorrow, but how a banshee acts on it can sometimes vary. Again, it depends on who triggers it and how. Some of them can get,,, violent, depending on how it happens.

Rath, this au's 'Dan', is a case of a banshee being put into the grief state caused by grief triggers and... never really leaving it. Which they usually do on their own, or with help depending on the severity of it.

At the time it happened Danny was going through the worst week of his life a second time: his best friend's ghost disappeared, then his family and friends all died right in front of him, and then he was stuck with someone who wasn't helping him through that grief.

He was already in the grieving state when Vlad tore out his ghost half. As a result, Vlad only made it worse. With that fury thrown into the mix, Vlad ended up getting torn apart and nobody else was close enough with nor could they get close enough to Rath to help him come down from the wailing state.

So Rath ended up getting stuck in a perpetual negative feedback loop of absolute misery, and well... drove himself insane. The rest of the world became collateral as a result.

-

the difference between Danny and Jason lies in the fact that Jason died, while Danny is dead.

-

I'm having more thoughts on the CFAU/TMWS universe banshees, actually.

Banshees are either born in the ghost zone from ectoplasm and are ecto-entities and work as banshees as how we know of them, or they're human spirits that died mourning someone and that grief was so intense that it turned them into a banshee. They're a little more rare.

These banshees typically mourn only one person, or sometimes they follow their Realm-born counterparts and choose a family to mourn for. Typically their own.

Ember is not a banshee; human spirit banshees are always mourning another person. However, her abilities emulate certain qualities of banshees: like the beautiful singing. But in comparison to an actual banshee, Ember's voice pales.

Does this mean Danny has the better singing voice? Yeah. Ember is incensed by this.

-

If canon Danny and CFAU/TMWS Danny met, I think canon Danny would be kinda unsettled or off put by CFAU.

CFAU Danny still has some pretty core Danny traits, at least I like to think so -- his general drive to help people just out of compassion for them (even if it manifests differently at first due to trauma), his wit and humor, his fear of failing to protect his loved ones, all of those resonate with canon Danny.

However, canon Danny, as far as I can remember and as far as his wiki goes, rarely gets extremely angry or emotional. He gets irritated and he gets annoyed but him getting mad I don't think happens super often. CFAU Danny is the angrier one between Jason and Danny. It's one of the things I consider a division point between him and canon Danny as it's a result of him growing up in Crime Alley. Canon Danny is canonically shy and meek prior to becoming Phantom, CFAU Danny couldn't be -- he'd be dead already.

CFAU Danny's anger would off put canon Danny, in my opinion. His anger, his smoking, and for lack of a better term, his bloodlust would unsettle him.

Like, for example, say CFAU Danny gets transported to a canon (or canon-adjacent) Danny's universe. He's staying with canon for a little bit as they brainstorm how to get him back home, and CFAU Danny goes to school with canon if only so that he's not stuck in the house all day.

Whether they try and pass CFAU Danny off as canon's cousin or if the town already knows that he's another version of Danny, it doesn't matter. Because insert Dash.

Dash who, in CFAU Danny's world, has since learned not to fuck around with Danny or the other kids because Danny has long since asserted that he will beat his ass if he does. 'Fucking around' always predates the 'finding out', and Danny is happy to act as consequence.

(As my father told me (paraphrased) when I was a small child and full of uncontrollable anger: "there's gonna be a day where you're gonna hit someone, and they're gonna hit you back")

And canon Dash, who is used to canon Danny who kinda just takes it because it means that he won't target other people, would see CFAU Danny. He'd notice the resemblance between him and canon, immediately try and go "oh new target!", and try and bully him the same way he does to canon. And Danny "I am the consequences of your actions" CFAU Fenton, instantly throws hands.

Just, CFAU Danny is kind but he's also Gotham-raised and full of bite; he's meaner than canon is. He's more ruthless too, especially in his ghost fights. The ease of which he slips into violence would, imo, discomfort canon. CFAU and Canon would eventually get along though, they're not so different that they'd be in constant clash of each other.

(Canon Danny and Danyal Al Ghul however,,, thats another post LMAO)

[harukamitsuki]

I need Bakugou stans to realise that it's not that I hate him as a person. It's that I hate him as a character.

A lot of my favourite characters are unrepentant assholes, or assholes who are set to or have already been redeemed. Vegeta from DBZ, Ouma Kokichi from DGR: V3, Dio from JoJo, Laxus from Fairy Tail, Greed from FMA: B, Bill from Gravity Falls, and the list that goes on.

If a character is a terrible person, that's fine by me. But if the author tries and fails to redeem them, yet still acts as though they are suddenly this amazing person, that's when I have an issue with it.

Bakugou was originally written to be a minor antagonist, and that would have been fine, if Horikoshi didn't suddenly go "I drew him crying so imma fix him".

Redemption is such a complex yet simple thing to do. So when you try to do it and fail spectacularly, um, yeah, I do not enjoy that character or your writing.

That is my main issue with Bakugou. I do not think he deserved any redemption, not because he's a bad person, but because there is nothing to convince me that he could change.

He gets one scene where he goes, "boohoo I lost and everyone is stronger than me" then cries, and that's supposed to be enough for him to become a better person? That is nowhere near enough.

There was no moment that made me believe he genuinely regretted and took accountability for the abuse he put Izuku through in middle school.

"He changed!" That's not my issue. I don't care that he's changed. I care that I don't believe in it. If there was a plausible reason as to why he changed, then I would be fine with it. Maybe I'd even enjoy him!

The fact that he's changed doesn't mean shit if it's not believable.

"That was in middle school!" Okay. This one pisses me off the most. That was a year pre-canon? Oh, wow, I guess that's completely fine! It's not as if characters are the way they are based on their past. Oh, Itachi killed the Uchiha clan before canon! Okay, maybe comparing a massacre to bullying is a bit unfair. Still, just because it happened a year ago, it doesn't mean it never happened. It doesn't mean that he's changed considerably.

"Izuku doesn't have any lasting damage and forgave him!" And? Just because your friend forgives their bully, it doesn't mean you have to forgive them. And, again, I do not believe Bakugou's apology was good in anyway. He was trash-talking Izuku, blaming All Might for Izuku's behaviour, and didn't accept any culpability for what he did to him. He didn't tell anyone else what he did to Izuku. Also, if Izuku really didn't have any lasting damage from the bullying, then why did Bakugou's apology make him calm down? If he didn't care about the bullying, then why is he so relieved by the apology? BECAUSE HE WAS AFFECTED.

"Bakugou was being abused!" ... NO HE WASN'T!! Mitsuki is not abusive. Yes, she hit him round the back of his head. After he threatened her. Anyone with Asian parents can tell you that her hit does not hurt. Not only is it somewhat normal in Asian families, but it also doesn't hurt. We have no evidence that she is abusive. Horikoshi knows how to set up abusive families, as seen with the Todorokis. This not that. Either way, even if she was, being abused doesn't mean it's okay to abuse others. You can hurt without hurting others.

"It's the school and teacher's fault!" No, it's not. Part of the fault lies with them enabling him, but Bakugou is already fifteen when the series starts. His mother clearly doesn't agree with his attitude. The school is only partially to blame. Bakugou should have learned by himself what is right and what is not. In fact, he clearly does know considering he doesn't want any of that stuff on his records in case U.A. rejects him.

Again. I don't care if he's a terrible person. I care that he's a terrible character.

So the next time someone says that I'm stuck in Season One, take a moment and think about what you're saying. Bad people in fiction are entertaining. Bad characters are not.

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

how did the player manage to get all of them??? what did player do to convince them? if they had to be convinced?? (i'm asking about the 'everyone is saved' au!)

I'm working on a few pieces of art regarding this, but they'll take some time, so until then...

The Player/Angel did half of the "rescues" by accident, the other half by sheer spite. Huggy was saved from falling down by a VERY shaky and terrified Angel who had to drag him somewhere else so they could take a look at him. After freeing a very shocked and terrified Poppy and seeing her getting kidnapped by Mommy Long Legs, the duo went on their way to rescue the doll. And, well...

Lets just say. Long Legs did NOT like having a grown adult look at her face and tell her she seems lonely. Huggy 100% looked at Angel not understanding half of what was going on but still nodded along. He also didn't help much with the games Long Legs was throwing at them, and the toys that were a part of it were SO confused by Huggy being there. Thankfully, though, Angel unkowingly saved their lives with their banter with Long Legs. Angel also sort of "rescued" them/befriended them after the games.

Long Legs... I plan on either drawing or writing more in-depth about how the Angel convinced her to stick around, but let's just say that they GRABBED her out of being crushed to death. Sadly she still lost an arm, but it's better than her life.

Angel came back with Long Legs, Huggy and at least 20 other toys and Poppy was just "??????? how????????", but she was just too thankful to see them alive and well to say anything else.

Angel stayed with the group for some time to take care of everyone's wounds, because Huggy unfortunately also got a bit more hurt during Long Leg's chase. They, uhm, had a sibling fight. That involved certain murder attempt. But, hey, at least they're okay now! Poppy also informed Angel of most details of her plan instead of making them enter the train to reveal that.

Angel, however, decided to head to Playcare alone with Poppy. It took some convincing, but too many toys were hurt for them to feel safe having around without fearing for their lives. Playcare felt lonely until Angel found Dogday and yanked him away from his cell before running for their lives.

For this AU, Dogday does not recover his legs. Angel takes him to Poppy and Kissy, and, together, they stitch him back together. Dogday then follows and helps Angel around, mostly by warning them of what they could find.

I could go on and ONNNNN about what saving Catnap was like but, again, I plan on going that more in-depth later on. So a quick tldr would be "Angel discovers who Theo was and what happened to him before becoming Catnap and decides to bring some comfort to this literal child". Angel knows something else happened to Catnap for him to go from following the Prototype around like a child trying to copy their parent to an apex predator who almost had to beg the Smiling Critters to hunt other toys so they wouldn't starve. Dogday plays a role on this as well because him and Catnap used to be friends (he tried to shield little Theo from all the bullying!), and he genuinely wants Catnap to become better, but he's too hurt to actually be the one who convinces him to switch sides.

Anyways. Angel didn't want for Catnap to be electrocuted again. They were dissociating and on the verge of tears when the Prototype's arm appeared. They didn't even know what happened until they were on top of Catnap and he smelt blood as the Prototype simply left them to be.

Catnap lost an ear and was so, so angry at Angel for throwing themself at him. He was hurt and horrified and he actually screamed at Angel before they calmed him down.

We can say that Catnap knew that dying wasn't the solution he wanted, but after spending so much time in that nightmare, it was the only option he knew. Thankfully Angel knows well how that feels like and gently treated his wounds, even when he tried to attack them, even when he ran away more than once so he wouldn't look at that human again. Angel was still there for him.

Anyways this is followed by Angel having to stop Mommy Long Legs and Catnap from trying to kill each other, and then Angel having to assign Dogday to look out for Long Legs so she wouldn't try to make Huggy or Kissy fight the cat.

Anyways, Angel also befriends the mini critters on this process because they were assigned as the Playcare's new apex predator. Angel asks Catnap to keep the little ones OUT of Dogday's sight so the dog wouldn't have a panic attack, then comes back two hours later to see the mini critters and the mini huggies befriending each other.

After that, it's the group against the Prototype.

...

After that, it's Angel trying to convince Prototype to try therapy. And then when it's all said and one, everyone goes outside and Angel calls the authorities after being handled the paperwork transferring the factory's ownership and money to them. It's a LOT of explaining to do, LOTS of documents to hide so no one else would try to replicate the experiments ever again, and some extra laws being made because what the actual fuck just happened here.

So, in a nutshell:

Angel has too much dad/mom energy for the traumatized kids to not get themselves attached to them.

[some-thrilling-heroics]

i'm workshopping halsin's past in terms of relationships

considering that halsin was very likely bullied as a kid (thaniel was his only friend) and how he is a prime target for an abusive relationship (you can say all kinds of nasty things to him and he will just look sad but not break up with you or draw any kind of line that next time it's over or anything - and sure player chara lifts the curse so it's all magic on a pedestal and heart eyes but still…)

the way i see it time-wise: he's 350 now and i don't see him having any relationships like that since the shadow curse / taking over as archdruid, so that takes us down to him at 250 - his slavery 3 years were in his youth so im gonna assume that's closer to him either below or just around 100 so let's say ages 20-80/100 he might have had some relationships, then underdark happened at some point and then ages 80/100-250 again he is out and might be in relationships

so with that in mind, i'm trying to picture his past relationships and how they ended, what could be some common threats in most / many of them and were the breakups amicable or not

maybe besides duty and power imbalance and lack of peers / actual friends the reason he didn't have any relationship in the time as archdruid would also be that he was at that point aware enough that when he gets involved with sb he is easily manipulated by them, even if a relationship starts all sunshine and roses it always devolves when the other party(-ies) pick up on that and - not even to keep himself safe from that but to keep the grove safe from the potential dangers of that - he stayed single? that would also fit with him expecting the ship with tav to end even if it's going well and they are living in the commune, he's still waiting for that other shoe to drop, like all the other times

would his past lovers have issue with his relationship with his bear shape? they'd know he's a druid but he's not exactly standard in his approach, whether you go with werebear approach or not. would that have been a point of conflict in some relationships? would he have ended things if it was?

would some of them - either intentionally or through ignorance - hear him say openly he's polyamorous and take it as an open invitation to cheat on him or to involve third parties without properly discussing it with halsin and just assuming he'd be up for anything and with anybody? (i get wood elves are culturally polyamorous so this point might not necessarily apply to them, but clearly halsin doesn't limit himself to just dating wood elves)

on the flipside i don't want him to only have bad relationships, or only ones that in time turn abusive, but what would happen there? imo the simplest would be 'we're just having fun and want different things long term from life' or duty calls and the like that would necessitate a breakup. i would hate the idea that tav is the only / first good happy steady relationship in his long life and thus somehow special - outside of the special aspect being around the curse breaking bc can't argue with that.

thoughts? anybody?

[imrllytootiredforthis]

yandere chan

summary: once again, basically sub yandere chan x dom reader hcs

a/n: there is many stalkerish topics and toxic behaviours in this (so read at your own risk), there is also mentions that could be read as a strap or the real thing-whichever you prefer

i do not condone this sort of behaviour, this is purely for amusement purposes and should not be done in real life nor' should be normalized

Did you notice Chan from the very beginning?

probably, yeah.

he made himself very apparent as the shy, cute, guy in a few of your classes. the boy next door typa vibes

you were friends with a bunch of his friends, he was friends with a bunch of your friends, so you knew of him though you never really hung out with him in any type of one-on-one kind of situation

was he completely gorgeous and so very adorable and look so entirely fuckable?

yeah. yeah he did.

but that was just it, you wanted to approach him, ask him out, bring him home at the end of the night

but he seemed too...innocent, too naive, too virgin-y

the golden boy

and you didn't want to corrupt that

you didn't realize how completely wrong you were until later on

completely unaware of the fact that he's had your entire schedule memorized from the get-go

that the reason anyone you've talked to never called you back and avoided you if you saw them again was because of Chan

he isn't the type to ask you out, babyboy's too shy and self-conscious for that,

instead he'll stalk and watch and hope that you'll get the clue soon enough

as he waits he'll probably steal your things, little trinkets, clothing like hoodies and shirts, perhaps some underwear if he's feeling extra confident

but he always feels really bad when he takes those

he has photos upon photos in his camera roll of you. enough to make a folder labelled just your name

most of them are not even remotely sexual,

some of you laughing with your friends-stolen from your friends's instagram account, from your instagram account

some of you smiling widely with your classmates

some that have been group pictures that his friends have sent to him

some of them he's taken himself, secretly snapping a few when you're not aware

he has so many, his own personal collection of just you and as gross as he feels when he does it-he'll look at them and get off

he can't touch himself, never does. he feels too dirty to do that, feels dirty and guilty about the entire situation altogether

but sees you and he just can't help himself

can't help but imagine how good you'd look standing over him, telling him what to do.

making him hump your leg

it so humiliating, so revealing and degrading as you look down at him unimpressed, the disappointment in your eyes making him whimper

you'd pet him too, pushing his hair back

"such a dirty dog; getting off on my leg like you're in heat, you poor thing~"

you'd tease him and make fun of him, bully him until he cums, melting against your leg out of breath

a mess all over your leg

you'd click your tongue at him, rolling your eyes before forcing his head down to lick up his mess

the fantasy gets so intense sometimes he feels like it's really happening

he's so hard and needy, body aching to be touched but too guilty to do it

so his go-to is humping his pillows or his bed. your clothes a victim with either his face buried into the fabric, smelling your perfume or your cologne or your natural scent

or he fucks into the clothing, obsessing over the thought of you catching him in the act

his face flushed, guilt stewing in his gut, eyes locked on yours. even if they're only through the screen of his phone

he begs and begs and begs to the phantom of you, his lust-addled brain conjuring up images, fake realities that aren't real to feed into his delusions that he could be yours.

it's only when you go on a date with someone that he decides he needed to do something

a guy from your class. decently handsome and looked kind of like Chan when you squinted slightly

it would all look the same, really, in the dark of your room as you made him moan under your hands.

the date goes well. but maybe that's because he has an aussie accent and when you look just beside his ear you can pretend it's someone else

you end the night a good note too, kissing him on the cheek and making him promise that you'll go out again sometime

Channie does not like that

he's been watching all night, hatred boiling in his gut, glaring hole into the guy's head, wishing that he'd drop down dead in the middle of the restaurant

he threatens him as soon as you're inside, telling him that he needs to leave you alone or else

spoiler alert: it doesn't work and you go out with him again

and again

Chan doesn't like that. not one bit.

you get upset when you're stood up by him for the first time after only three dates, checking your phone every few seconds as you sit in your apartment, waiting for him to pick you up

he never does

you call him and text him but he doesn't reply

awhile later you see that he blocked you on everything

he never does talk to you again and you wonder why

for the rest of the night you sulk, heading to a nearby bar, having a few drinks until someone taps you on the shoulder

turning around to find Chan smiling sheepishly

asking if you need some company for the night

you accept, eagerly ordering a few more so that he can catch up to you

which ends up with him getting extremely drunk

turns out he has a very low alcohol tolerance. it also turns out that he becomes extremely horny when he's drunk

extremely drunk, extremely horny and extremely happy

because it's the night Chan finally gets what he's been wanting for such a long time.

panting and clutching at your shoulders in the dark corner of the bar, sloppily making out with you

whimpering about how he's dreamed about this for years, muttering between kisses how he can't believe this is happening

opening his legs for you in such a public place-you briefly wonder if you were wrong about him being innocent all this time

until he tells you that he is a virgin, not that he hasn't had offers, it's just that he wanted to save it for you

he wanted you and only you to take his innocence,

to hell if it's in a dirty pub right next to the toilets, if there are eyes watching him-watching you, that you're as drunk as he is and still sad about being ghosted

it needs to be now

he cries with every thrust of you inside of him, his walls clenching making it harder for you

every little touch feels like it's overloading his senses, making his head feel fuzzy and the room feel spinny

and while it might be the alcohol that's causing it, it also might be the need he's had ever since the first time he saw you

the want and the desperation and the high he feels after everything he's done, it's finally happening

he whispers a lot of things to you that night

things that scare you, things that turn you on, things that make you angry at him and things that make you wanna ruin him even more

he confesses every one of his dirty secrets to you

he asks you then if you could still love him after all this, if you would still want him

and to his surprise, you don't get that angry, you do however, expect him to make up for his...wrongdoings

babyboy spends months at your beck and call, doing whatever you please whenever you please

trying to prove himself to you, that after all he's done he deserves to be with you

making him doing humiliating things like wearing a vibrator to your date

fiddling with the controls as he squirms in his seat, trying to hold it in long enough to order his meal albeit stuttering and tripping over his words the whole time

having him wear lingerie under his clothes when he goes out to hang with his friends, the lace hugging his body tight-a remanent of you even if you're not there

and even though you don't ask him to he shows up at your apartment every morning, with flowers or gifts or a compliment ready on his lips, offering to drive you wherever you need

sends you texts throughout the day, informing you of every little thing with an adorable kind of elation

you'd forgiven him long ago, if you'd ever even been mad at him to begin with,

it was just cute watching him stumble around trying to fulfill your every wish

though that still doesn't change when you finally make things official

he probably cries when you ask him to be your boyfriend, he just can't help it, he loves you so, so, so much

Even if his definition of love being a tad overbearing,

he definitely changes a bit when you're actually dating

a little bit more possessive, a little bit more clingy mixed in with a dash of paranoia whenever you’re around someone else that isn’t him

a lot of his shyness goes away when he's with you, ready to do whatever it takes to have your attention on him, willing to do anything that you tell him to

focusing on the former:

He really just can’t help but imagine how you’d look with them

You wouldn’t be happier with them, would you?

No, you love him, you love HIM

not them, not your coworker or best friend, not any one of his band mates or some random person you met at a social gathering

It’s Chan that you love

He’ll stay quiet sometimes, he knows that you need people in your life other than him. he knows that he can’t satisfy every one of your needs that all of these other people do

But that doesn’t make him stop wishing that he could

he tolerates most people (mostly because of your scoldings and punishments when he hasn't) but he still can't help the rage that comes when he sees someone actively trying to get into your pants-ESPECIALLY if they KNOW you're with Chan

of which he will 'encourage' them to leave you alone later on

though he'd really rather not have to do that. it gets kind of messy and you always get angry with him afterwards

so it's good that he's okay with most people,

it doesn’t stop his possessiveness or clinginess but at least he's not going tooooo overboard

If you’re shorter than him he’ll come up behind you and wrap you in a big bear hug, arms around your waist, face in your neck, peppering kisses all over your skin

If you’re taller than him he’ll have no problem pushing himself into your arms, 

coming up in front of you and hugging you, taking your arms and throwing them other his shoulders

“Pay attention to meeee~”

face still in your neck, kisses still all over your skin,

No shits given for pda or how the person you were talking to beforehand is reacting at him cutting off the conversation,

and if you happen to giggle or laugh at his antics his heart will skip a beat, face growing warm with the sound, encouraged once again, to do it the next time this happens

There is very little that will dissuade him even if you don't like it

if you don’t like it he won’t pick up subtle cues or discomfort, 

or more like he’ll PRETEND that he doesn’t get them

You’ll have to be straight up and tell him if you really want him to stop

He’ll give you the saddest, most hurt puppy dog eyes but will reluctantly listen to your wishes

he can never bring himself to do something that will hurt you or make you upset in any way

Afterwards when you get home is where that jealousy comes pouring out

jumping you the second you’re in the door,

the only time babyboy will ever purposely brat out, he’ll welcome any punishment you give as long as it’s you paying attention to him

Not anyone else

Would actually die if you ignored him

That’s out of the question for punishments,

he could never take you pleasuring yourself while he’s tied up across the room, 

he would probably cry and not in the way that either of you like

he doesn’t care how hard you hit, how mean you are, how torturous your punishments are,

ignoring him is a no-no

And bringing someone else into any part of your relationship is too

Sexual or otherwise

The thought of someone else touching your skin, making you moan in the way he does, also makes him want to die.

End of story

If you try to bring it up at all he’d probably just ignore you, give you silent treatment until you apologize 

And then make you PROMISE-PROMISE, PROMISE, PROMISE that it’ll never happen

That he’s the only one you’ll ever be with

Again, sexual or otherwise

but he wouldn't be against it if you were to say, fuck him in front of someone he was jealous of

having the other person watch as you praise him, giving him a slow handjob

his head going into overdrive as he makes pretty noises, all with the knowledge that this person would never get to be in his position, only a watcher to what Chan gets and they don't

He loves you so much and loves the way you make him feel

he gets quickly obsessed with that sense of freedom that you can give him

He’s stressed and overworked, locking himself in his studio for who knows how long, 

starving himself for who knows how long

At the end of a long week he’s all pent up and tired, barely able to stand up on his own two feet and make complete sentences

Much less take control during sex

And more often than not when he comes home after said long week he’s in subspace the second he hears your voice,

quite literally from the second he steps inside the door he just feels himself slipping, overtaking his head with every step he takes, pushing himself deeper and deeper

He just wants to curl up in your arms and let you take care of him, force his mind somewhere else

jerk him off and call him puppy, anything you want, anything at all

He absolutely loves to be called puppy or babyboy, he really doesn’t know which one more because either will have the same effect

Mostly it’ll be paired with him calling you mommy or daddy

he's not big on master or mistress, ma'm or sir just because they don't have the same amount of comfort mommy or daddy has

It makes him feel safe and warm and cared for 

Even if you are edging him for the sixth time tonight with no reprieve in sight 

He’s a bit of a pillow princess but that’s okay because he looks so pretty just laying there and taking whatever you give him

He loves the control you take from him, forcing the decisions out of his hands, your rules becoming the only thing he cares about,

that floaty feeling in his head when you strip him of all of his responsibilities and anxieties

Your comforting hand and sweet praises,

the knowing that he can fall into it and leave the overwhelming reality of his world with you right there to take care of him

He no doubt uses his submission, subspace and sex as a whole really as coping mechanism for when everything becomes too much

Which is unfortunately more often than not, can make things overwhelming for both parties

It’s not very healthy but he thinks that it’s mostly him that’s being affected in a negative way 

He doesn’t account for exactly how much of a toll it can be on you as well 

He probably won’t notice either until you outright tell him, sit him down and give it pointblank

He feels horrible when and if you finally do though

But he is a bit selfish

So I doubt many serious changes will be made, if any at all

If things do change, don’t expect them to stay that way long, slowly enough that you might not even realize it everything will fall right back into the place it was before

he does give really good aftercare though, wrapping his arms around you, ignoring how tired he is to ask if you need anything

even if he's practically braindead, his legs still shaking he's trying to clean you up, trying to wave you off with weak hands

he gets really sleepy but doesn't like to actually sleep, instead he likes to lazily talk to you, words slurred, voice low and heavy

about anything, everything

most of the reason he doesn't want to sleep is because he never wants this moment to end

him in your arms, his head on your chest, your lips leaving soft kisses all over his forehead and hairline

telling him you love him

he swears his heart will burst out of his chest

this is all he's ever wanted

all he's ever dreamed of

to be with you

a/n: okay after this one i'm going to do lixie and then maybe hyunjin...? i'm not fully sure yet after felix's but yeah, hope you enjoyed!

--if you get tagged, or see this again that's because this is a repost because it got put under the community label before even a full day was up

taglist is open now here if you wanna be added: @hobihearteu, @shincode, @lemonhongjoong, @laylasbunbunny, @xcookiemonsteerr, @arlojulien-nightchild-of-hades, @hahagay, @lino-jagiyaa, @missrobyn81

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

What do you think about Sabrina? Are you like her, dislike her or neutral?

I don't have strong feelings about Sabrina beyond a general distaste for her "redemption." Sabrina was played as way too much of a willing bully for me to absolve her of her past actions without some serious apologizing on her part. Just look at these matching smirks from the Derision flashback!

[Image Description: Chloe and Sabrina smirking evilly while plotting to hurt Marinette]

That was the episode that blamed Chloe for all of Marinette's problems while showing Sabrina doing all the actual dirty work, which is very much a running theme in this show. Most of the things that Chloe gets blamed for should see at least part of the blame going to Sabrina, too, but that's not what we get in canon. Sabrina spends multiple seasons helping Chloe torment people only to be welcomed on to team Miraculous before she even reaches her "redemption" moment (see: Penalteam). Now that Sabrina has done her one good dead, she's redeemed and is a permanent holder as a reward for that single good act, I guess?

The whole thing makes me deeply uncomfortable when I compare it to the way that the show handled Chloe. I only bring that up because, when it comes to Sabrina, I can't avoid thinking or talking about the Chloe thing because you never see Sabrina without Chloe! They're a matching set! They even have similar base stories with Chloe's parents influencing her behavior via their abuse and encouragement just like Chloe influenced Sabrina (which could have been a great discussion about abuse leading to abuse if this element of their writing had been even remotely intentional). Redeeming one and not the other invites you to make the comparison and it's unfortunately a comparison that's deeply lacking on multiple fronts.

If Chloè didn't earn a redemption - and I really don't think that she did, her redemption never truly stated - then neither did Sabrina. A sob story doesn't undo the harm that you've caused. A redemption doesn't even undo the harm! You can fully "redeem" yourself and still be rejected by those you hurt because your victims don't owe you a relationship. (Side note, this is where Chloe and Sabrina fall for me. In the early seasons, you could redeem them onto the team. Now? The writers took these two way too far to the point where they feel like totally different characters and even break early canon episodes because Marinette's treatment of them doesn't match who they supposedly always were.)

If they really wanted to redeem Sabrina, then they needed to highlight what makes her story different from Chloe's. As is, it feels massively hypocritical to welcome Sabrina onto the team after all that she's done to cause harm and after how little she's done to right that harm. At best, canon Sabrina should have just gone off to a new school to get a fresh start without Chloe. At worst, she should have become someone else's minion. Either way, she should not be treated as one of the "good guys."

Outside of that mess, Sabrina is just your standard minion character who gets minimal development, so it's hard for me to have a strong opinion on her. I think she's used well in the first few seasons, but she's still one of the characters that I'd cut or at least cut back on if I had my way with canon simply because she's not really necessary for the show to work and the cast needs to be cut down significantly. It's not that I hate her or anything like that. I just don't see why Chloe needed a minion or what Sabrina adds that another character can't.

For example, you could give Sabrina a solid character arc around developing healthy friendships and letting go of Chloe's influence, but why give that to her when you could give it to Mr. I've-never-really-had-friends-before-and-I-really-should-have-a-character-arc-around-that who also happens to have grown up with Chloe as his only friend? (That's Adrien by the way. Why go with Sabrina when you've got him unless you're using Sabrina to contrast Adrien in some way?)

[kiophen]

Re: tags on that ask about callout posts (not the same anon), can I ask about the 4lung situation? I haven't looked into what happened too deeply but from what I have seen nothing is super well documented or explained

If its too much and you don't feel like getting into it don't worry about it, feel free to disregard. I'm mostly just curious since I've heard things and it was mentioned

I was prompted to do my own digging into the whole situation surrounding her a few years ago. She was excluded from an online music event due to someone bringing up concerns with the organizers privately. I found that basically every public accusation about her is not true, and/or redacted by the accusers. The only true accusations are the ones that really don't matter; she retweeted porn on main and was a babyfur. These things were used to bludgeon her with pedo accusations and back up all the fake shit thrown on top to make it more convincing.

"Did you know she attempted to KIDNAP a KID?? Oh, the kid said it wasn't a kidnapping and the accuser said they jumped to conclusions and apologized? Well did you know she TWEETED a SLUR? Oh that was actually photoshopped by kiwifarmers? Well did you know she SEXUALLY HARASSED a MINOR? Oh, that was actually her shitty ex-gf trying to make her look bad in retaliation to a bad breakup? Well did you know x and y and z misinterpreted or fabricated things? Well at least you can agree that being a BABYFUR is something worth ritualistically harassing a trans woman, over right?"

One reason why stuff isn't well documented is because the main person who was pushing the accusations so hard ended up apologizing and retracting and deleting a lot of posts (and also I think they're suspended, which deletes all their tweets, and most of this shit happened in twitter threads). They did get bullied into removing their apology too.

Another reason is that a lot of the situation was people seeing the original callout posts years ago, internalizing the message "This Person Bad Pedo Bad Bad Person Bad" from it, and then later being like "Ummmmm isn't that person a pedophile? Yikes?" to their friend who brought her up who then says "Oh My Fuck I am Sorry I Did not Know that!" and then it just gets spread around like that through uncurious people who don't care enough to check

I have my own collection of archived tweets from when I was trying to find the root of these claims and might make a full writeup about the situation someday, but also I have complicated feelings about whether I would be just be immortalizing this shitty behavior, if it would just lead to more people trying to harm her, or if anyone would even learn anything from it. Also I don't want the person who started the accusations to get dragged back into this since I can tell they were being manipulated and gaslit as fuck by other bullies into making this such a big part of their life for so long.

Specifically about the kidnapping thing: After one of her shows, she and a friend drove a teenager to an Arbys to get picked up by their parent as a nice gesture due to some trouble the teen was having. The situation was catastrophized by either this teen or the accuser into a "kidnapping" (there is conflicting information, they both blame each other) and then the accuser tweeted it out. The teen has since said they didn't really think they were being kidnapped, and the accuser said the kidnapping aspect was made up.

[forestdeath1]

I see many Snape Stans (I dislike Snape but I see why he turned out the way he did) saying James sexually assaulted him, especially on TikTok, when it’s not the truth at all, we don’t know if he ever actually took off his pants because and it wasn’t his fault that Snape wasn’t wearing any trousers. While he did bully him he never sexually assaulted him, and so many people are now saying this and I’m just flabbergasted, why did no one read the books? Why does everyone get their informations off TikTok and Twitter?

I don't really like this topic, to be honest. But here's how I perceive it.

1. In the canon, as far as I remember, it wasn't even implied that wizards wore trousers under their robes. They all just wore their underwear. And Lupin says:

"Oh, that one had a great vogue during my time at Hogwarts," said Lupin reminiscently. "There were a few months in my fifth year when you couldn’t move for being hoisted into the air by your ankle."

"Yes," he said, "but he wasn't the only one. As I say, it was very popular. . . . You know how these spells come and go. . . ."

So Snape not only created this spell himself, but it also became popular at school. So many students were hanging upside down, showing off their underwear.

From this, we can infer that wizards perceived it slightly differently than we do now, and even than Harry. It was "fun" bullying, but nothing more. Even Lupin himself sounds like he's justifying it, although he probably got hung upside down too ("There were a few months in my fifth year when you couldn’t move for being hoisted into the air by your ankle.").

2. We don't know for sure if James ended up taking Snape's pants off. Logically speaking, JKR simply didn't describe it, assuming that he did. Given the time the book was written, she probably didn't intend to invest it with such a horrible meaning. This all happens in the 70s in the WW. For our time, of course, it's SA. And that's awful. But the perception of that time could leave its mark. For example, when I was in school, many things that are now considered "awful" were seen as "not so bad". Those who did those awful things back then didn't even really understand how awful their actions truly were. Society evolves and we increasingly respect people's personal psychological and physical boundaries. What we didn't perceive as SA back then is considered SA today. A simple example you've probably seen in movies, spanking children was considered normal and right. That's how society raised those people. Surely today those same people wouldn't spank their children, because they would understand it's bad.

So it's likely that nobody at school perceived this action as SA. Moreover, James always played to the crowd. And if he really, according to the author's intention, took Snape's pants off, and the whole school saw it as normal, and didn't start looking at James with disgust... it raises big questions for the school students, doesn't it? If my friend did this today, he wouldn't be my friend anymore. Most people would look at such a person with disgust. But James's popularity didn't diminish at all.

This brings us back to the fact that nobody back then saw it as worse than bullying. So the society of that time hadn't yet formed enough understanding of what SA was and how bad it was to expose someone else's genitals. So James didn't fully understand either how awful it was, much more awful than pink bubbles out of your mouth or doubling someone's head in size. So for them it was all on the same level — taking someone's pants off or making them hang upside down or doubling their head in size.

I'm not justifying it, but the wizarding world is pretty harsh. Neville was thrown out of a window, Harry almost killed Draco, Fred and George literally made a kid disappear for a week, and Hermione kept Rita Skeeter captive in a jar for over a month. All of this is awful, but the wizarding world operates by different moral standards.

If judged in terms of our morality, there are almost no morally pure characters in these books.

I especially don't understand Snape stans (I mean I like Snape, but I don’t understand their logic). In terms of our morality, both Snape and James deserve to be punished. Snape would have got a much bigger sentence for joining and helping a terrorist organisation. What are Snape stans trying to prove? That Snape was better? No, he wasn't. They're all arseholes in terms of the muggle world of 2024.

[sturnzyolo]

Shadows

Matt Sturniolo x Reader

Warnings: fluff, swearing, a little eerie scenery, crying, stress, angst, bullying mention, comfort, anxiety, first person pov, and slight obsession (anything else will be added in later parts)

Summary: reader feels a significant connection to a particular classmate of hers, her teacher's favorite student. One day, when on her way home, she hears something.

PART 3

sorry for the break on writing this! the series will end in part 4 most likely 🤍

Y/N POV

I didn't see Matt for the rest of the day after that class, we never did since Calculus was our only shared period. The day seemed normal maybe a bit more boring than usual since a few of my friends weren't at school, but it was finally over.

Everyday after school I would walk from the sidewalk away from school, through a small forest path, and over to my house back on the sidewalk.

The forest was always eerie, but this time was far different. I heard soft cries as I walked through, the sun beaming through the trees. The cries grew closer as I approached.

I noticed the cries were coming from inside the forest, which I never dared to go through since I was always scared from horror stories. I felt terrible if I just left, but what if it was a trap?

I decided to slowly hide behind trees to follow the noise, once I got closer to the sound I squinted to find the reason. On top of a rock was a person

I recognized the clothing, my brain worked to figure out who I had seen with that clothing. til my eyes widened when I realized who

Matt.

I slowly tore my feet from the bushes and walked over slowly, not making much sound so I wouldn't scare him. Once I was right near him, I noticed his face shoved into his hands, his glasses on the ground with a crack through the left lense. His cries were soft, his button up was dirty, his hair was messy. I felt terrible, like my heart had dropped just seeing the image.

"Matt?" I said softly as I dropped my bookbag behind me right near his that had seemed throw and discarded.

His cries seemed to have hitched along with his breath, like he was embarrassed.

"Hey it's okay I'm not going to judge you, what happened?" I said in a shivery voice as I placed a hand to tear his hands off his face gently

"Wait please I don't want you to see me like this." He whined and tightly covered his face

"Come on I saw you earlier, it's okay Matt. I'm here for you" I said soothingly as I sat next to him on the large rock

"I look pathetic y/n" he mumbled with a break of his voice

"Please" I pleaded so I'd be able to try and comfort him

He sighed, his breath sounded shivery and panicked with anxiety as he tore his hands away and looked at the ground shamefully

I gently placed my hand under his chin to lift up his face, my face faltering as I brought his up, just to see his pained look and tearful face

"Matt.." I said in a pained voice as I cleaned off the tears from his face "Please tell me what happened, I can't leave you like this. Is it the same reason you were crying before?" I asked desperately

"Well n-no not fully" he spoke quietly "Uhm earlier it wasn't as bad." he sounded shameful

"What wasnt?" I asked with a head tilt and knitted eyebrows

"People. When you um left the class in calculus everyone looked at me like I was stupid, giving me glares and someone was talking about me and i heard it. they said i should've left instead of you, that nobody wanted me there if I couldn't even answer a simple question even though Mr. Robinson is easy on me." He explained

I nodded giving him my full attention "Don't listen to them, you just got caught by surprise, besides Mr. Robinson always goes for me, I would've been sent down by him today either way. Those kids are idiots don't take their looks to heart, their judgy highschoolers. So how did it get worse?" I swallowed harshly, preparing to hear the worst part

"Uh well, I was just walking in the hall and people kept staring at me, I felt like I couldn't walk or look anywhere without someone's eyes stabbing at me. People kept giggling and talking. Then some guy came up to me at the end of the day, saying to stay away from you, and that I'm pathetic for believing you would l-like me." He said in painful huffs of air

"What? why would they think that?" I said in shock

"Because he saw you walk me back to class after the bathroom thing, and he did that too." He pointed to the glasses on the ground

"How'd he.." I looked down at the broken glasses

"He grabbed them from my face and threw them to the ground before pushing me and leaving it on the ground. I tried to fixed the crack, but it just kept breaking." He looked down at his fingers again, picking up his hand to bite his finger nails

I quickly grabbed his hand to push it down "Hey don't do that alright? I'm here. Look he's pathetic, if anything. You're not pathetic at all. He seems like he was just jealous and everyone else is just stupid and nosy. I'm sorry about your glasses Matt, I can help you get new ones." I said as I slowly put my hand ontop of his

"Its okay, it's not your fault. I'm used to people staring and talking about me, but I don't know." He breathed out shallowly "I just didn't want to seem like an idiot to you."

"To me? Why?" I asked

"Because y/n you're smart, pretty, and really sweet to me for no reason, sometimes you stare and I get scared you're judging me but you're the only person that really talks to me other than my brothers." He explained

"Thank you Matty, but you're smart and equally as sweet. I never judge you I swear, I guess sometimes I just wondered why Mr. Robinson favored you and hated me, that's all. I would never make fun of you, I actually just wanted to get to know you.." My tone was nervous as I admitted my thoughts for the past time of calculus class.

"R-really you did?" His voice sounded shocked like he didn't expect it.

"Yeah, I mean it, I've always found you interesting, sorry if that sounds weird but I liked that you're not like everyone else."

Matt looked at me with puffy red eyes, which broke my heart even more

"Can I hug you?" he asked under his breath as he looked into my eyes

"Yeah of course" I smiled softly and got up. He got up right after me as I wrapped my arms loosely over his shoulders around his neck, he wrapped his arms around my waist respectfully.

"Thank you" he spoke in a whisper as he leaned his head onto my shoulders

"Always" I paused "Matt" I said in a breath as we let go slowly

"What is it?" he asked curiously, his voice becoming a bit louder

"Would you, um, want to hang out, maybe?" I asked shyly, I didn't know if he would reject me or find me crazy since we've barely talked til today

he smiled lightly "I'd like to, yeah" he replied

"Great, how's tomorrow after school, we can go to the beach if you'd like, it's getting warmer out." I offered as I slowly kneeled down and grabbed his glasses

"Mhm, yeah the beach is fine, thank you y/n" he blushed a bit which I noticed as I handed back the pair of glasses

"Maybe after we could get you a new pair" I giggled trying to lighten the mood more

he nodded before we hugged once more "I'll see you tomorrow then, thank you again y/n for everything."

"No worries, I'll always be here for you if you need, even if we aren't that close" I smiled as I walked over to get my bookbag

"Come on we live across the street from eachother, I'll walk home with you" I offered cheerfully

He walked over and put his backpack on, not even questioning that I knew we were neighbors.

"Alright" he said with a smile. I reached up to quickly fix his hair as he laughed while we walked back onto the path together to go home

The walk was enjoyable, he was sweet and we had a genuinely sweet and funny conversation til we split ways, waving and saying goodbye. I was excited for tomorrow, I honestly couldn't wait.

THIS PART WAS KIND OF SHIT BC I TOOK A BREAK AND HONESTLY GOT BORED OF THE SERIES SORRY. I just want to finish it for anyone that enjoys it, part 4 should come out this week if im in the mood for writing. I would make the series have a smut part but I still don't want to write any but maybe in the future I will

if anythings messed up it's bc it kept fucking giving me a hard time with shit and I dont wanna proofread bc honestly I cringed writing ts.

[imraespace]

HONESTLY, I SHOULD'VE BEEN THERE..

Friends with someone like him came with certain prices, one was by choice and one was by fault. You told him one day that it's never his fault yet he still blames himself and say that he should've been there..

SUGURU X READER

genre: angst, fluff (I think..)

WARNING: death..(sorry), mentions of a disease, bullying.

imraesnote: my summer rn is sad so you too, feel sad with me tyvm also guess what movie this was based of its really easy!

<- 1K SPECIAL

"SUGURU, GOOD MORNING!"

Those are normally the common words everyone hear as soon as the male enters the classroom every morning.

His signature smile, a smile that brightens everyone's life for that moment, is also another common thing in the morning.

But for you, your common thing in the morning is the small hug he gives you, before making his way towards his friends.

.

.

.

A hug! followed with a bright smile.

Those were the common actions both you and him did everyday. In pre-school, in middle school.

The way his small arms wrapped around your smaller body every morning and when it was time to leave and meet up with your parents, those same arms found themselves right back around you.

Same way he got taller, slightly bigger yet the actions stayed the same. In the morning, his slightly bigger frame is cuddling yours, and in the afternoon..

His arms wrapped around you and you did the same. yet that time you felt the need to pull him closer and hold on tightly. Maybe you're scared that he might run away. Would he? Or would you?

.

.

.

What about you? What's common for you?

The half hug you gave and the weak smile you framed. That seems about right.

Yet for some reason he just didn't get it. It never got to him. Maybe because he's too focused on his new life. Are you even in there?

.

.

.

Your school life isn't anything interesting, you're just there really. You wake up, get ready, go to school then go back home. Yep that's it.

Maybe these girls thought that, hey your life seems a bit dull! Why not make it worse.

So as you closed your locker, it wasn't a big surprise to see that the same trio who won't keep themselves out of your life, right there, next to you.

Naturally, you've learnt to block them out. You don't care about their faces yet the words always seems to hit you the most.

It's mostly.. partly.. actually. It's mainly about the one and only.

"Suguru..."

Suguru this, Suguru that. If you want him so much then go find him yourself, not make my life a hell. That's what goes through in your head everytime you hear his name from these girls. Its either using you to get to him or lashing out on you for being too close to him.

You sighed, zoning out until they left.

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.

.

Now you're home, alone. Like normal.

Taking off your school shoes, making your way towards your room and taking out whatever assignment you got, maybe trying to forget everything that happened today, just like you did for the previous day and the day before.

Your eyes landed on a certain paper, and stared at the mark on it.

You got a bad mark.. This wasn't usual.

The frown that was creeping up whole day, had finally made its way onto your face.

And with that, you just landed on your bed, shoving your face deep into the blanket hoping that maybe everything will just go away.

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.

.

"Y/N? Y/N!" His voice.

Before you could react, a ball landed right on your forehead.

"ow.." You mumbled, rubbing the pain away.

His short legs ran towards you with a small pout as he glared at the other kids on the playground.

"Try aiming somewhere else next time!" he yelled at the random boy and all he got in response was a tongue out from the boy.

Suguru rolled his eyes, rubbing your forehead.

That's right, Suguru has always been there to help you.

So right now, the notifications from your phone, reminding you that he's not here to help you anymore, he's out there with them, enjoying his life.

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.

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Your phone rang, waking you up from your sleep. You don't remember falling asleep..

Maybe you did when you tried to disappear into your blanket before, oh well.

It was a call from your mother.

"Y/N. Did you take the medicine I left on the counter?"

Medicine..

You didn't reply back instantly, you just rose from the bed and made your way towards the kitchen.

"I found it. Thank you." You mumbled, hanging up the phone.

You took them. As usual.

It was 2:00am, and at that time, you decided to take a shower.

.

.

.

"Are you okay?"

"No."

Suguru eyes was glued onto his screen.

His white haired friend sighed as the brown haired girl turned towards their direction.

"Maybe you're trying too much. Give her some space." She said.

But it didn't help him.

"I should be there for her."

His eyes didn't look away from the thousands of messages he sent you and not once he got a reply. Of course he noticed that weak smile and half hug he got in return.

But he didn't speak up, he didn't wanted to ruin the small, weak relationship you both are hanging onto right now.

Something deep down inside him, he feels that you're hiding something, maybe you have a reason for pushing him away.

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Taking showers at odd hours like this was one of your favorite activities. It helps wash away the worries and thoughts that lay heavy on your shoulders throughout the day.

You turned on the tap causing the water to burst out the shower head, turning from ice cold to the warm temperature you wanted.

The water that hit your body drowned out all sounds from outside. You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling of the water as it ran off you. It seems your mind has it own will as it ran off to memories you don't really enjoy..

.

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" -..Are you listening?"

If you're gonna be honest you stopped listening as soon as you heard it.

A disease.. Heart disease..

You felt as if maybe you might die in that moment, maybe tomorrow, who will know?

You disconnected yourself from the conversation, focusing on your fingers at that moment. The first thing you thought of was..

"What will Suguru do if he found out?"

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.

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Pitter. Patter.

Suddenly the sounds of the shower was back in your head. Now you felt cold, as if you've been in there for a while.

How long were you in the shower?

The sad memory made you remember something important. After the 3 years of being aware of your disease, you have yet to tell him.

You turned off the shower and let out a sigh.

Maybe tomorrow you will tell him but right now, you really want to sleep.

At 3:05am you decided to drift off in the dreamland.

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.

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Suddenly a small milk box appeared in front of your face. Strawberry infact.

You look up from the table and towards the person infront of you.

None other than..

"Good morning.." You mumbled.

Suguru's smile widen as in return to your words he gave you a hug. A warm one that gave you life. The life that's on a gamble right now but that's not on your mind right now, what's on it is..

"Suguru." You let out, with a smile.

He pulled away from the hug and gave you the same smile he had from before.

He grabbed his chair from behind him and sat right infront of you.

"How are you feeling?" He asked you, turning his head to the side.

You followed his actions, causing the both of you to giggle.

"I'm okay actually.." You replied. Yet it caused him to raise his eyebrow in confusion.

"Okay? Yesterday you were amazing, why is it different today..?" He mumbled.

You masked it up really good.. is what you thought.

"I'm turning a new leaf." You joked.

But he didn't like it. His smile dropped a bit, which caused yours to drop completely.

But.. when he took his fingers and guided it towards your face, taking his pointy fingers to bring back your smile, the genuine one to found its way back.

His fingers then made its way towards yours, intertwining them while pulling you a bit closer.

"Now copy my words."

"Today I'm feeling amazing.."

You decided that maybe if you moved your lips the same way he did, it will be easy to lie through your teeth infront of the one you love. Maybe.. if you lie this one time, you can repay it by giving yourself a small bit of punishment later but right now..

Wait right now you're crying.

The smile he brought on your face were faltering, the tears were falling and you couldn't believe what you were thinking. Lie to him?

Lie to the boy who gave you life and offered his love to you in different ways he could? Why think like that?

"Why are you crying..?"

Why are you him? Why are you the way you are?

.

.

.

That, sadly, was your breaking point. You didn't wanted to lie to him.. but you didn't have the heart to confess about your problem. You knew that he should know but soon you notice that he hung out less with you and met new people.

But you can't blame him..

Yet he blames himself. Everytime he hung out with Shoko and Satoru all he thought of what went wrong that day?

All he knew was that he should be there for you.

He tried to, he continued to give the hugs, the smiles and the good mornings but it seemed like you didn't want them anymore.. So he tried another method, maybe you would rather talk online instead.

No. He was wrong again, but he didn't give up. He lost count on how many times he tried to make you open back up that it felt numb to give up.

After three years who would?

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Now rest Suguru, in his bed up at 3:05am, staring at your contact name. He wonders if he should call you..

His thoughts went on until 3:34am when he finally decided to call you, but he doesn't hear your voice. It just goes to voice mail.. Why are you ignoring him?

He wonders if you're over with his desperate attempts, trying to force his way back into your life.

Maybe he is desperate, he just want everything to go back how it was 3 years ago, the day before that one when you broke down right infront of him.

Oh how he knows how much you wanted that as well, how the feeling of hiding from him and pushing everyone away were eating you up from inside.

The last thing that was in your mind, was finally opening up to him. Forget those girls, forget your words. It was enough and you've finally made up your mind.

But sadly.. Your life just decided that it was too late.

Those unanswered phone calls, the desperation he felt, was all for nothing as in your sleep you finally gave up on life.

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The first few messages you received from him, you noticed them but you pushed it away.

You already made up your mind on your life and out of sadness, feeling that the world is unfair to you, you decided to write out your feelings in a book. How you wanted to tell him that you had very dear feelings for him and how you always wanted to tell him but you couldn't, because you won't be here for long.

You remember a few words that stood out in that book, that you always reminded yourself that it wasn't his fault.

Each time a word was placed in that book the more the tears came falling down. You ended your small confession with two simple words.

"For Suguru."

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But now it wasn't only your tears on that book. It was now decorated with his own, it kept on falling as he read the words.

It was his fault for not realizing that something was wrong with you and it was his fault for not trying hard enough to figure out your feelings.

He knew that he should've been there yet he wasn't.

It was unfair to you.

A few days have passed, could be a month, he doesn't care. All he cared about was that honestly.. he should've been there.

Yet now here he is, laying in that same bed he was in trying to call you when at that time you chose to sleep on for a long time.

Here he is reading over those words again and again.

How he wished he could've known your real feelings.