#and i don't think gray is technically any worse than them

[grahamcarmen]

[steddieas-shegoes]

take my hand, we'll make it i swear

for @steddielovemonth prompt 'love is a hand reaching out'

rated m | 2,343 words | cw: blood, injury, temporary character death, nightmares | tags: coming back barely right, post-vecna, realizing feelings, getting together

🖐🏻🖐🏻🖐🏻🖐🏻🖐🏻🖐🏻🖐🏻🖐🏻🖐🏻🖐🏻🖐🏻🖐🏻🖐🏻🖐🏻

Hawkins has been torn apart for eight days. Eddie's been dead for eight days.

Everyone's been mourning for eight days.

A week doesn't seem like a long time until you're in the throes of the world ending and a group of teenagers mourning one of their friends. A week starts to feel like a year when all you've done is cry and hope for any other ending than the one you got.

Steve was just trying to be there for them, be there for the people who didn't run from Hawkins, and somehow still take care of himself. It wasn't going well.

He'd barely slept more than a few hours at a time, and that sleep was anything but restful, nightmares invading his mind from the moment he closed his eyes to the time he woke up in a cold sweat with gory images seared into his brain.

One in particular had happened three times in a row now: Steve was walking in the Upside Down, searching for something but he didn't know what. He'd be surrounded by demodogs and demobats, but none would attack him. He'd keep walking and walking, yelling something he was unable to decipher. Eventually, he'd see a hand sticking out of the ground. A very recognizable hand, one that he'd last seen covered in blood, his rings no longer a shiny metallic, but a dirty and dull gray. When he tried to reach for the hand, it disappeared. He woke up.

And then he pretended he hadn't just had a nightmare about Eddie.

Robin saw through it. She made him talk about it, said the only way to get through it was to talk and actually receive comfort.

But so far, it wasn't helping.

The nightmares got worse.

By day 12, he was convinced Vecna had managed to get into his head.

By day 18, he was so sleep deprived, he started sleep walking. Robin insisted on staying with him to make sure he didn't try to drive or walk into the road or something.

It was bad.

And then suddenly, on day 19, they just. Stopped.

He didn't dream at all. In fact, he slept for nearly seven hours with no movement at all.

Robin figured maybe his body was just so exhausted, it finally gave up on torturing him. He figured she might be right.

But on day 20, things got weird.

He was awake, he knew he was.

He was sitting in his car with the radio on low, staring out at the only place not touched by Vecna and the Upside Down: the quarry.

It was quiet other than the radio, which is why he jumped when the radio suddenly flipped to a different station. White noise filled the car as he tried to put it back to his usual station, but then the car just...shut off.

His keys were still in the ignition, but the car wasn't running.

A technical problem was the last thing he needed right now; All the mechanics had left town and he wasn't very handy with anything except changing a tire.

But then it started up again, the radio on the right station, and nothing seemed to sound or look wrong.

"Okay then," Steve said to himself. He gave it a minute to make sure it wouldn't shut off again before putting it in reverse and leaving the parking area. He could try to take a look at it at home.

But when he got home, Dustin and Mike were in his driveway waiting for him, pacing, looking far too worried.

"Where've you been?" Mike asked.

"We've tried to get you on the walkie for an hour!" Dustin whined.

"I was busy," Steve said. "What's wrong? Is everyone okay?"

"El said she felt something," Mike spit out. "She said it's not Vecna, but it's powerful, or at least seems to be."

"Mindflayer?" Steve asked.

"Don't think so. Will didn't feel it."

Steve gestured for them to throw their bikes into his trunk so they could go back to El and find out more of what was going on. He decided not to say anything about the weird incident with his radio for now, wanting to hear what El suspected about things before he worried people for no reason.

When they got to Hopper's cabin, still in quite a bit of disrepair, but livable, El was drinking a glass of water on the couch, pale and eyes constantly moving from person to person.

"Sorry, we had to wait on Steve to get back from whatever he was doing," Mike rolled his eyes as he sat next to El and reached for her hand.

"It is Eddie."

The room was silent as everyone processed what El said.

"It can't be," Hopper said, though softer than he would normally. He knew the kids were still having a hard time. "Steve checked his pulse. Nancy checked his pulse. He lost so much blood. It's-"

"You know better than to say impossible," Joyce spoke up from her spot next to Will. "With everything we've seen, impossible is an impossible word."

"But he wouldn't be human if he was alive. And we couldn't really know if he was on our side," Hopper said to her. "We can't trust anything that comes out of that place, even if they have the face of our friends."

"So you do not trust me?" El asked.

"Or me?" Will asked.

Hopper sighed. "No, that's different."

"It's not that different," Will said. "I was down there for a week and everyone thought I was dead. We all know I have a connection to the place. Eddie may just be like me."

El suddenly stood. "We must go to him. He needs our help."

"El-"

"I am going. Steve?"

Everyone's eyes shot to him, his face turning a bright red.

"You have seen him in your dreams. You know where to find him."

"Uh..."

"You can take me and Hopper to him. I can't see him, I can only sense him."

"Uh." Robin shoved at his shoulder. "Okay, yeah. I can try. But they were just dreams. They might be wrong."

"They are not wrong."

So, despite Steve's promise to himself that he would never go back into the Upside Down without the help of the entire military, Steve held his bat in one hand and El's hand in the other while Hopper walked behind them with a flamethrower ready to go.

He didn't think about where he was going, he just walked.

They had a walkie with them for communication, but told everyone to stay silent unless there was an emergency topside. El assured them there wouldn't be, but she wasn't always right.

Steve felt goosebumps on his skin as they approached a more dense wooded area. If you looked hard enough, you could see the trailer through the trees, but it was unrecognizable, somehow even more dilapidated and gross than the last time they were down here.

El squeezed his hand, but nobody spoke.

They walked further.

It started to feel like one of his nightmares, the darkness and thickness in the air starting to weigh heavy on his chest.

But a small movement caught his eye, and before he could even think it through, he pulled away from El and ran towards it.

A hand.

It was his hand.

Eddie's hand was reaching over a fallen tree, just as bloody and dirty as Steve's nightmares showed.

God, why hadn't he said something to El? Why had he thought they were only nightmares? He knew better.

"Eddie!" Steve said as he cleared the trunk of the tree, nearly landing on Eddie's body. "Shit, Eddie. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Steve wasn't think about this being a trap, wouldn't even care if it was. It was Eddie. He was alive, or at least a form of alive that they could get him out of there, and that was the only positive thing that happened for weeks now.

"Steve." Hopper's voice was right behind him, and El was standing just on the other side of the tree. "Back up. He could be dangerous."

"Shut up! He's barely alive, Hop! He needs help."

Steve was working quickly to check over where the injuries looked the worst. But everything seemed healed, all the blood on him dried and some of the smaller bites already scarring over. But he looked incredibly thin, dangerously thin, and there were dark circles under his eyes as his hand started to reach for Steve shakily.

Steve grabbed it, didn't want him doing more than he could handle. "It's okay. You're okay. We're taking you home, okay? I'm not letting you die here again."

"Didn't die the first time, Stevie," he whispered, his lips curling into a smirk.

Steve let out a disbelieving laugh that tried so hard to be a sob. "I guess not, huh?"

"Don't know if I can walk," Eddie said.

Steve looked to Hopper, who gave one small nod.

He turned back to Eddie. "Anything bleeding?"

"No."

"This probably won't be fun."

"What-"

But Steve's arms were under him, lifting him, carrying him before he could finish his question.

"Didn't think you'd sweep me off my feet like this," Eddie joked breathlessly.

"How else would I have?" Steve played along.

Or maybe he wasn't playing. Maybe the reason he couldn't get Eddie out of his head even in his sleep was because there was a connection. Maybe he was here because he actually cared about Eddie, not about the way the kids mourned him. Maybe Robin was right about expanding his horizons.

"I dunno. Kinda figured I'd actually die before you got here."

"What do you mean?"

"Did you see me in dreams?"

El was following right behind them, probably listening to everything. Steve nodded as he kept walking the way they came.

"I felt this pull. I dunno how to explain it, man." Eddie coughed and it wracked through his entire body, almost causing Steve to lose his balance. "Sorry. Um, but like, I kept seeing flashes of you. Not anyone else. Just you. And if I thought about you hard enough, I could almost like...sense you?"

"Me? Why me?" Steve looked to El for an explanation.

"I do not know," she replied.

"I thought I was just crazy. Like, the crush I had on you shouldn't be enough to cause this."

"You had a crush on me?"

"Have, present tense, Stevie. Kinda hard not to when you're carrying me out of here like a bride on her wedding day," Eddie's eyes closed as they got closer to the gate in the road they used before. It was the only one marked safe by the entire group. "Hurts."

"What hurts?" Steve ignored everything else for now.

"Everything."

"I'll fix it, okay? Just a bit longer."

Eddie passed out less than a minute later after a whine left his mouth and his hand curled into Steve's shirt against his chest.

******

When he woke up again, Eddie was certain he died for real.

20 days in an alternate dimension puts things into a different perspective.

Steve Harrington was next to him, in a large bed, a bed that was definitely not his in a home that was not his. He wasn't in a hospital, at least not the one in Hawkins.

"Shit, Eds. Hi. Hey." Steve scrambled to sit up as quickly and carefully as possible. "How are you? I mean, obviously not great, but like, does anything hurt more than anything else? Are you bleeding? Shit, I was supposed to check while you slept and didn't."

"Steve. Jesus, man, it's okay." Eddie huffed a laugh. "I feel better than I have in a while."

"Good. That's probably the fluids and drugs we've been pumping into you for two days," Steve smiled apologetically at him, like he had to apologize for taking care of him. "You were out of it when we made it back. Hopper made the kids leave."

"Did I say something?" Eddie had no memory of getting back to... "Where are we?"

"Oh, this is my house. Safest place for you right now. Close enough to everyone if there's an emergency, but far away from where most people who stuck around Hawkins are living that no one will see you." Steve shrugged. "Joyce comes three times a day to check on you. I stick around the rest of the time."

"You've been here for almost two full days just...watching me?" Eddie should be uncomfortable with that, at least a little. But he should be a lot of things that he isn't.

"Making sure you don't die, mostly. Keeping the IV fluids switched around at night. Um, changing the bag," Steve looked down at his lap, face bright red.

Eddie realized exactly what he was talking about the moment he moved. "Jesus Christ. You've changed my pee bags? Just let me die. I can't go on like this."

Steve giggled. "It's not a big deal, Eds. Just part of taking care of you right now. Since you're awake, maybe Joyce can get rid of that on her next visit."

"Maybe she would do me the honor of killing me so I don't die of embarrassment."

"Eddie-"

Something about Steve's voice made him look up.

He reached his hand towards Steve's, suddenly not caring about the embarrassment at all.

"Steve, I'm okay. I promise. My pride may be wounded, but I will survive," Eddie said quietly. "You got me out of there. You did what I needed you to do. You did good."

It was easy to hold hands for the next hour while Steve caught him up on what happened.

It was easy to hold hands when Joyce came by and Eddie experienced more embarrassment at the realization of what she'd have to do to remove the pee bag.

It was even easier to hold hands as they both fell asleep in Steve's bed, finally finding rest without nightmares and without the threat of the Upside Down immediately surrounding them.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey Cas, Leo Anon.

I have successfully blown up my life since the last ask I sent you, so before you read this entire thing and call me a dick, just know… I know. 

It turns out Leo does still have a crush on me. And I still have a crush on him (it’s one of those annoying crushes that hasn’t just gone away after a month. Or a year. Or two).

He told me he still had a crush to explain his reaction and apologised. I then admitted I still have a crush on him.

And that’s where it all went downhill.

Leo got accepted into his dream university, and told us a few months ago under no certain terms would he dream of delaying going.

So when he said “I could go with you and Benjamin in the gap year” I panicked. (Benny’s my best mate btw, he’s obsessed with the Harry Potter dudes and has been complaining non stop about not having the time to enter your conan fest? Which is true he’s super busy- but he’s excited to read the fics i think cause he’s loves conan gray. Ngl I know nothing abt the Harry Potter fandom, hope that’s chill. He’s how I found this blog actually- and you’re really kind to take the time to read about how i’ve ruined my life). 

Back to the plot. Leo said what he said and I freaked, I didn’t want him coming with us and then resenting me later for him missing uni. 

I told him that’d interfere with me and Benny’s plans to hook up with a bunch of people. 

He got really quiet and sounded really sad as he said he had to go. 

We didn’t have plans to hook up with people. I panicked and lied…

Oh and gets worse. Word got back to Benny’s girl (they’re not technically dating yet but they are) who’s going to a dif country after the summer for skl, and so we were gonna delay our trip where she is so Benny and her could hang.

But she heard what I told Leo abt hooking up and was mad. So I had to do some damage control.

I met up with her and told her only I was hooking up with people, I just didn’t want to hurt Leo’s feelings any more than I had.

She accepted that and her and Benny are chill but word got back to Leo and now he hates me. 

He thinks I lied and I wanted to spend the whole time hooking up with people and he’s never meant anything to me and I don’t care about people. 

If we’re being honest, I wasn’t going to hook up anyone on this trip. I hate hooking you with people. 

Benny said he thinks i’m on the ace spectrum (demi something he said, like the singer idk?) 

It was chill with my first gf, but my ex bf pressured me into it since i’d “already lost my virginity so what?” and then I hooked up with like one other person before deciding it wasn’t really for me.

But I had a rep by then somehow and everyone thought I was some play boy. 

I figured my mates knew that wasn’t true but turns out they all believed the rumours too. 

Point is, Leo thinks he’s “just another on of my hookups” when the most we’ve ever done is make out and I felt more then than anything else i’ve ever done. 

This is stupid. I shouldn’t bother you with my dumb problems. Sorry.

I know I ought to apologise and come clean and stuff but, maybe it’s better if I just leave the friendship fucked up, that way he won’t sacrifice anything for me and I can fuck around the world being cultural and shit. He can do better anyway. 

Hi!

Alright, you need to communicate with him!

You can't lie to make someone else's decisions for them! That's not cool! Look at where it's gotten you!

Please, sit Leo down and tell him everything- including that you don't want him to give up Uni for you. But remember that's his decision. If you like him and maybe want to be in a relationship with him, you need to respect his wants and needs, don't decide for him. Talk together about what's best <3

You're not a bad person, I know you were trying to help him. But the best thing to do is talk about it.

Tell Benny I say hi, and he should come try the fest!

[whalehouse1]

@thefaeriefeatherdark Sorry, I just haven't had either the time nor the energy to write up a response to your thoughts on the AU and I apologize because this is basically stream of consciousness and not edited, but a few things about my 3 Superboys AU, which thanks to Jon is technically 5 but another time.

Okay, the Superboy AU has actually gotten worse thanks to Leah Williamson (long story, but now we have two Jons). But to answer your questions as best I can given my limited Super family knowlege. Connor is a Cadmus creation, he is straight up the series origins. Made by Cadmus with Lex's funding with Lex's and Clark's DNA. The main difference is he is the first attempt at being cloned and Cadmus lies and tells Lex the clone had deteriorated once he was out of his clone tube. If you want to add Contessa to this, you could have her doing this to spite Lex. I know nothing about her besides what you said in your post, but I'm sure she has good reasons to be spiteful to Lex. And you know to try to keep and groom a Superboy on her own.

As for Lena Thorul, I know nothing about her, but since I am a fan of random characters from Kara's original series (I want that trade if it will ever exist), I don't see any issue with her being involved. My only issue with Kara in your idea, is I hc her around the ages of the original Teen Titans from the comics. At most a year younger, only because I think it's funny that Dick will call her an old hag even though he's physically older, but she's older than even Clark by a decent amount.

I mean all three are Clark and Lex clones, so they will look alike, but as Connor and Kon do have other's DNA mixed in with them (Maik is the only 100% just those two's DNA), they're can be variation. I think Connor looks distinct enough, it could have just been the cartoon style, but he seems more muscular and taller. He's more of a football player, while Kon is more Baseball player in terms of general build (it's a very bad description, but the best way I can explain it without drawing it, sorry). And Maik is 12, he's baby shaped. But he's basically built thicker than Jon, but not really by much since again, babies. Connor doesn't have the earring like the other two do, but I think Maik in terms of appearance does get mistook as Kon's younger brother since they look a lot alike. Maik has much better fashion sense though, cause is it Kon if he is dressed well? Maik has the gray eyes from the movie cause they're very striking compared to everyone else's bright blue ones. I also just like grey eyes and there's not a lot of of them in comics. So Kon and Maik will look alike and will argue about who stole whose look, but it comes down to just their age and clothing. I think Maik will end up looking a bit more different when he gets older, but I think those two will resemble each other the most with the eyes and fashion being their difference sadly. As for their outfits, don't they all need those super awesome jackets? Connor sadly gets his black shirt and pants, it's boring, but you know which Super it is when you see this. I did liker Kon's outfit in Kelly's run and YJ98, but Maik's would start out as the same as in the movie, but I think he would keep a more subdued coloration in his outfit. I also think as he gets older, he would make his costume more punk-rock than just spiked shoulders. I'm not sure how exactly, but I like him having a music industry plant type of idea behind his creation and so I want to incorporate music styles into his older costume if that makes sense.

Well, we have how many Flashes now? It should be fine, right (laughing in DC's inability to give codenames to established heroes for mantle passing)? They would get new codenames, but I haven't thought that far ahead yet. Also their names would have to use some of their personality and stories (Nightwing coming from Clark's story, Troia coming from Donna's stay on the Greek Moon planet thingy, Tempest coming from his water magic, etc.). So that would take a bit to get a good codename for them. But them and both Jons would evolve into having their own codename. Kara at last could go for Superwoman (since as far as I know there isn't one running around (watch me be wrong and there's like 5).

Oh, I completely forgot about Matrix. I want to say since the goal of this AU is to give Ma and Pa Kent the biggest amount of grandchildren, I want to at first instinct say yes, but from what I remember about that, it's still just Kara just merged with another. Also, I just didn't enjoy the bits I've seen of it. But since I haven't read the whole story, I'm not going to say definitively no, but that was just a weird bit of Supergirl's history to me, but not enough for me to just, "yay, no" it. If you want those, ask me about Nightwing XD.

As for the "it's gotten more complicated" it might actually be more fun for you, since you like the paternity bit more, but again I haven't had a chance to read Kon's solo yet (I've been reading from the beginning and I haven't made it to Superman comics yet and until the 90's, there's not really any writer who I'm just going to skip (I can't with Dixon anymore. He can write good plots, but he's such an awful garbage person and it bleeds through too much for me. And actually between him and Fitzmartin, I almost started to hate Tim, but one of his fans actually helped me with that), so I still have awhile and time is a dick. But to the actual point, Connor is the first actual clone, but he isn't "alive" to the world as Contessa is keeping him a secret from Lex and so Lex decides to cut his losses and tries again and that's how we get Kon, but Kon on top of Lex and Luthor's DNA also has Westfield's DNA in the mix. So he'sd the first clone the world gets to know. As for where Contessa and Cadmus is storing Connor, I'm not 100%, since I really, really hated the clone tube, so they probably have a facility underground that they "trained" him in so that he would be perfect for their nefarious schemes. He 100% will keep Wolf, I don't know if it would be from an Outsiders' mission or a one off mission with the Titans, but he's getting Wolf. And I'm fine with him on the farm, the Supers can come and go from there and since it's centrally located, it's not a bad place for him to join up with others. He doesn't have flight, but he's fast and can jump. Also he can get the stickers from Lex again and one of the heroes could probably figure out a way to replicate them without the addiction issue, there's enough scientist to figure it out. I know absolutely nothing about Indigo, but as long as she isn't going to take him to the Legion of Superheroes I'm fine with it (still bitter about that arc with Kara in the show, it just never sat right with me). But I do like your idea of him staying at the Outsiders HQ until Clark invites him to the farm. I think Connor has more of a relationship with the Kents than Clark, because Clark just doesn't know him and after Kon doesn't know how to deal with this new, but older clone. And he has to deal with raising Jon, so he can't just drop everything to help raise this kid he never knew existed. I think it makes him more understandable than what YJ did with him where he just came off as a prick. The powers are right, the heat vision and cold breath aren't as strong as Clark or Kara's, but that can be enhanced with the shields and that's ofc where the flight comes in as well. I do think he has the most strength out of the three in terms of raw physical power. Kon's TTK though obviously wins in terms of actual strength.

Now, because I just want to make things over complicated for no reason, I get you like cybernatics, but as I'm not a big sci-fi fan, when Maik was being cloned, in an attempt to see if they could remove the kryptonite weakness, they had some red kyrptonite in the room where they were cloning him. He still has the weakness, but instead it warped his Kryptonian abilities to an extent. So for example, he has heat breath and frost vision. His superstrength isn't as strong as the others, but (thanks to your boiling water Kara thing), I think he has the strongest durability out of the Supers. This wasn't meant to contradict you, I just think it's funny Kara doesn't want to get him hurt, but if he's not around kryptonite, the kid could get punched by every other Super at full strength and he'd barely feel it. He's still strong and could punch a hole through a solid steel building without a problem, but he's losing the arm wrestling contests. He is also the one Lex had the most see-over on though so he is the smartest since he was basically being taught by Lex approved tutors and that. He also since he actually is the one clone that "got to be a kid" and if the aging thing was retconned, I'm fine with it, he started out as an actual kid, so he and Jon actually are one year apart (Jon's a year older, kid Jon, not teen Jon, as I said it got complicated, but another day), and he would have absorbed some of Lex's "morals", so he could have a good character arc of growing out of that greed inspired mindset and learning to see humans as humans. I do think the Danvers would be a great set for this. The Kents would be too, and they 100% get to help with their grandson, but the Danvers had Kara, who was a teen when they adopted her, with (depending on the timeline) good or bad Kryptonian ideaolgies and previous connotations on Earth and its inhabitants. So they have more experience with that than the Kents. Also, since he and Jon are essentially the same age and Maik starting as an antagonist, that would be a good start for them since it would give a chance of kids figuring out things and influencing each other and given what Jon has been through, it's not like he's 100% rainbows, unicorns and sunshine. He's been through the ringer, possibly more than any other Super, 3 years under Ultraman torture will do that to a person. More so, being left for dead and having to watch that person living your life. But yes, as Kon would have YJ and Connor would be best (for me personally) for the Outsiders with helping out the Titans and YJ at times, Maik would fit in perfectly with the amount of child heroes that exist right now. He might feel redundant if he joined up with Damian and Jon and the people I have on their youth team I have, but what's the harm in having two supers? But even excluding that fact, there's a large amount to make a team out of. And heck, he could even start on my Damian team, butt heads with him (not hard to do) and take a few with him to make his own team and get some of the others Damian couldn't recruit. Even more fun if it splits up the West twins so Wally and Linda have to listen to who has the better team at dinner at least twice a week. And for villains, they would have to fit a theme for him to grow, so if I were to write stories for him, I would want to figure out a good balance for that. I would have to think of a few examples, but someone targeting him for being Lex's son, clone, "hero", "weapon" wouldn't be bad, someone who isn't able to control their actions for one reason or another, I think an evil Toyman would be good to as well, a villain who wants the spotlight (like Punchline, but not as annoying, sorry I just don't like her), he'd be very good for a social media type of villain or a eugenics villain. There's potential for others, but for villains, I think the moral theme for the story should come before their gimmick for a good story (can you tell I'm a batbrat?).

As for the DNA samples, I think it'd be a cute story that Maik and Jon are wanting to be the babies (the twins come in after this so it's all pointless), and also just worried that since Cadmus and Lex both have had access to controlling all three clones, with each one being a stronger control (Maik even having a microchip just in case that Kara made inert whether through Kandor or heat vision, doesn't matter, but one of those), teaming up and Jon using some lockpicking skills he get from Damian and Maik knowing the layout of the building, breaking and entering and destroying the DNA samples Lex has and scanning the building for anything he could possibly use for more DNA and eradicating it. It doesn't even have to be a stressful comic, just a fun little one of them having fun destroying untold and unsolvable property damage to Lex Corp. Everyone wins. And I'll give you this for the cybernetics and Lex being more involved with him, we can give him electric touch. So he could be a human taser or stronger. Lightning has been shown able to incapacitate the Supers, so it wouldn't be a bad thing for Lex to put into the one he has the most control over, until he defects. But now relooking at the timeline you gave me, I don't know if Contessa could have been around for all three cloning attempts. If so, Maik could be the one she doesn't lie about to Lex, but if she couldn't have been in charge for Connor, the pettiness isn't needed. But I do like them lying to Lex that Connor was a failure, so when he finds out he's still alive and functioning, he tries to be a "good" dad with the stickers and to give him resources that Connor knows better than to accept after the incident with the stickers.

[t1oui]

would any of you be surprised if i said i had another fic idea. lol yeah no probably not anyways on with it (after a few notes) 1) this is based in the same universe as my last few posts, with slytherin harry and percy, but with some changes. they're pretty much the same, though. 2) this post is structured much more like a short story, with snippets of scenes, dialogue, and inner thinking, but i think you'll enjoy it nonetheless. with all that out of the way, here's first year (or third year, depending on how technical you want to be):

james and lily potter are dead. everybody knows this. even deep down, somewhere, somehow, they know it. so they're really not sure how to feel when they wake up as 13-year-olds in bodies that aren't theirs and find out that their best friend, mass murderer sirius black, has escaped from prison.

lily does not know who she is, or where she is, and she definitely doesn't know why she's an only child with two parents who keep calling her hermione. but at least she's going to hogwarts, and if this has happened to her, she has no doubt that james has somehow been roped into it, too.

meanwhile, in a barely-together household somewhere far, far away (okay, not that far away, but you get the point), james wakes up with red hair and freckles and six siblings and two parents who seem to think he's a weasley, and he can't help but think that if there's one person who will be able to communicate with redheads, it's his wife. if only he knew where she was.

on september first, james finds himself being hauled down to king's cross station with four of his six-too-many siblings. he finds himself wandering through the express, unsure where to go until he's being pulled into a compartment and he looks at the girl across from him, staring him down with a critical eye. he doesn't know her, but he knows.

lily watches him without comment for a moment. then she says, "this is a strange arrangement," and they laugh themselves hoarse. they don't feel like laughing, really, but they're not sure they're capable of doing anything else.

it's a few minutes later when lily stands and leads him through the train. "you need to see, james," she says, and this time, neither of them laugh at all.

on their way, they pass by another compartment. the door is open, and a boy is leaving, and he bumps right into them. it's james's - ron's - oldest brother at hogwarts, percy. he's wearing slytherin robes and a head boy pin, and he's bidding goodbye to a group of people, but james only sees one of them. one with messy black hair and tan skin and green eyes, and a scar shaped like a lightning bolt on his forehead.

"bye, percy!" he calls happily. "good luck!"

percy smiles. it's the first time james has ever seen him do so. he scowls when he bumps into james and lily, though, and he gives a tense, "ron," before shaking his head free of whatever else he might have said and heading opposite them. lily grabs james's sleeve and forces him to keep walking, because apparently, this isn't what she wanted to show him.

no. that's at the very end, and the sight of it makes james want to throw up. lily pulls him into the compartment and intertwines their fingers, squeezing his hand.

remus is asleep. he should only be 34, if harry is james and lily (hermione and ron's) age, but he's never looked worse. his face is sunken, and he's too skinny, and he has more scars than ever. his hair is graying, and lily and james don't want to think about why.

they spend their train ride in relative silence, and when they hear a commotion down the hall, they find themselves running from a dementor being chased from their son's compartment by a patronus in the shape of a crow. percy weasley stands in the doorway, scowling, before a worried expression overtakes his face and he rushes out of sight.

remus wakes, startled to find two students watching him so intently. something about them feels familiar, but he's sure he's never met either of them before. he decides that he's just tired and tries to fall back asleep. he doesn't, and though he pretends to, he can't shake the feeling that somehow, the kids know he's lying.

on their way to the castle, james and lily find themselves startled by the fact that there are creatures pulling the carriages. as james is about to ask if lily knows what they are, he hears ron's name being called by ron's sister, ginny. she's standing with a smiling blonde girl wearing funny glasses, and james tugs lily over to them.

"i can see them, too," the girl, luna, says, and it takes a minute for james and lily to realize what she's saying. her voice is dreamy, far away, but her eyes hold much more knowledge than the eyes of someone her age should. she smiles. "don't worry. you're just as sane as me."

as james and lily sit beside remus on a carriage up to hogwarts, watching luna read a magazine upside down, they decide that this comment is not very reassuring after all.

lily and james are gryffindors. so is ginny. luna is a ravenclaw, and she bids her friends (new and old) goodbye at the entrance to the great hall before skipping off to sit between two girls, one with curly brown hair, a head girl badge, and a tired smile, and the other with straight black hair and an excited grin. they wait for harry to find them, but he never does. eventually, they find him sitting between percy weasley and a younger blonde boy who looks suspiciously like a malfoy at the slytherin table. they don't say anything. they rarely do at this point.

as dumbledore begins to speak, introducing remus as their new defense against the dark arts professor, it's all james and lily can do to keep themselves from cheering. but then dumbledore begins to speak about sirius black, and they don't need to restrain themselves at all.

"as many of you have already heard," dumbledore says, "mass murderer sirius black has escaped from azkaban."

they don't say anything to each other all evening, too busy trying to force themselves to keep down their food, but when it comes time for them to part ways and head up to their dormitories, they hug like their lives depend on it. maybe they do.

(once james gets upstairs, he's greeted with the loud laughter of a skinny black boy and a smaller sandy-haired one, alongside the shy smile of someone who looks oddly familiar. dark hair, easygoing expression... james doesn't have to look at the name on the trunk to know it's a longbottom.

"getting pretty close with ms. granger, are we?" the sandy-haired boy, seamus, asks. james rolls his eyes, playing along.

"just you wait," he tells the boys. "you haven't seen anything yet."

they howl with laughter, not noticing james leaving the room to change into his pyjamas until he comes back and closes the curtains around his bed.)

for the majority of that year, nothing happens. james and lily research whenever they can - classes aren't that hard, really, if you've already passed them once, though it is a bit jarring to find snivellus at the front of the potions room. they read all about their (harry's) story: sirius black, their secret keeper, betrayed them to voldemort, killed peter pettigrew, and was sentenced to life in azkaban. this time james really does throw up, right there in the library (much to madam pince's annoyance), because he knows they got it all wrong.

it is two weeks after that particular study session that james wakes up to find sirius standing over him. he doesn't even recognize him at first: his hair, which he used to care so much about, is tangled and matted. his clothes are ripped and dirty and look - sickeningly enough - like prison robes. his eyes are wide and crazed, his grin merciless, but he drops his knife when he looks into those eyes. those eyes that he knows so well, that azkaban can't erase from his memory... dropped into the head of a 13-year-old boy he's never met.

james does not alert the professors of this event, but he does tell lily, and she simply squeezes his hand and tells him they'll figure it out. it's not much, but they don't have anything else.

it's after class one day when remus - professor lupin - asks them to stay back. they worry they're in trouble, or maybe their cover has been blown. maybe it would be good for remus to know who they are. but he doesn't. he simply pulls an oh-so-familiar piece of parchment out of his desk, hands it to james, and says, "if you cannot return this to me by the end of the year, please give it to harry potter," before sending them on their way.

james half expects to see his own name beside lily's when he opens the map, but he won't say he's surprised when it reads hermione granger and ronald weasley right outside remus lupin's office. his eyes stray to the slytherin dormitories, where harry potter is sitting in the common room with percival weasley and marcus flint. he also reads the names draco malfoy, blaise zabini, and pansy parkinson, but they're not huddled as close to harry as the older boys are.

soon enough, that fateful night arrives. james has given the map to lily, hoping that she'll come find him if anything happens since he can't climb the girl's stairs. sure enough, he wakes up one night to her standing above him, the map being pushed into his face.

"harry, percy, and marcus just left the castle," she says. "peter's following them."

it didn't take them long to figure out that ron's rat was peter, even without the map, but by the time this was realized, he was long gone. in the forest, probably, or hogsmeade. hiding somewhere out of their reach. peter must've seen something in their eyes, too, just like sirius and remus had. lily pulls james out of bed, and they creep towards the front of the castle.

it's just their luck that the head girl herself catches them. "what are you two doing out of bed?" she demands, narrowing her eyes at james in particular, and he remembers that he's the brother of her best friend; a member of the family who made percy weasley feel like an outcast for his house. he doesn't speak as he holds up the map, pointing to harry, percy, and marcus's names so close to sirius black's. penelope clearwater curses, glancing up at the kids in front of her, and then flicks her wand and sends a fully-corpreal patronus in the form of a weasel dashing up the stairs as she follows them outside.

they watch in horror as the map displays the picture playing out in front of them. marcus flint is grabbed by a big black dog labeled sirius black, and penelope - and oliver wood, who the patronus was sent to retrieve - no longer feel like sneaking. they jump out from the shrub they're hiding behind, and james and lily watch in awe as penelope actually runs faster than oliver to get to the whomping willow. they follow close behind percy weasley and harry potter, who are dashing after their friend.

"stay here," penelope tells james and lily, and they wait for her and oliver to disappear from sight before they follow them in. stay here? james thinks. as if.

the two stumble into the scene to find sirius standing across from the group of wide-eyed teenagers. they don't dwell on how the man's eyes, slightly out of focus, stare at them for a beat too long. they watch as percy weasley keeps himself stationed in front of harry, and oliver wood holds up marcus flint, whose leg is bent at a funny angle. penelope's eyes flash with anger when she sees james and lily in the doorway to the shrieking shack, so obviously ignoring her instructions, but instead of yelling at them, she pulls them behind her.

"what do you want?" percy demands, his voice cold. harry is holding onto him like a life force. sirius struggles for a response, glancing at lily and james again as if asking for help, and when he does, percy shouts "expelliarmus!" and sends him flying backwards.

this is when remus shows up.

"you switched," he says, intently focused on sirius. "you didn't tell me you switched." he's trying for a glare, but his eyes are sad and he looks tired and he's stumbling a bit, and lily grabs james's hand and nearly breaks it when she squeezes because it's the full moon.

"yes," sirius says, eyes wide with fear and recognition and hope. james and lily didn't stop to think what it must be like for him, knowing remus was out there believing the lies. this is all my fault, james thinks, and though he knows lily knows, she doesn't tell him it's not. "i'm sorry we didn't tell you, but there was a spy, and -"

sirius does not finish before he's being tugged into a hug, and harry gasps.

"you traitor," percy all but growls, taking a step forward, out of oliver and penelope's reach. harry clings to him, but now he looks unsure. "we trusted you."

"and you can still trust me, percy," remus says gently. he's leaning on sirius now, and though it must not be obvious to the others - not even lily - james can tell when remus is hiding his pain. "i think there's been a misunderstanding."

sirius and remus explain the story - sirius, mostly, considering remus only just found out the truth himself. percy looks like he doesn't quite believe it, but he doesn't have any evidence that says they're lying, especially when the rat in the corner is dragged into the middle of the room ("is that scabbers?" percy asks, incredulous) and is forced to transform into a tiny man who simply smiles at them and runs off again as remus collapses.

"run!" james screams, as if the others aren't. penelope, after shoving james, lily, and harry out the door of the shack, has begun helping to pull marcus along. percy brings up the rear, despite harry's loud protests. remus and sirius burst out of the shack behind them, neither of them human anymore.

james and lily run, watching as percy sprints ahead of them to usher harry forward.

"percy!" penelope screams, pointing. "pettigrew!"

sirius, as padfoot, turns away from the spot where remus has run off into the forest and begins bounding towards the scruffy looking rat scampering towards it himself, but he stops when percy does, pulling out his wand. james and lily stop, and harry stops, and penelope and oliver stop, making marcus hiss in pain when his broken leg hits a stray root.

peter doesn't. not until percy, hesitating for only a moment, shouts, "imperio!" and the rat goes still.

nobody knows what to say as percy breaks the deafening silence with a shaky voice, commanding, "transform." they don't say anything as peter appears before them, staring directly at james and lily with wide, terrified eyes like he's asking for help.

as percy takes a deep breath, telling peter to "go to headmaster dumbledore and confess everything," they don't speak. they simply follow behind, james watching padfoot as he sprints into the forest in search of moony.

sirius black is not forced into hiding. peter pettigrew is taken to azkaban. percy weasley's quick thinking got him into a body bind, the daily prophet wrote.

james and lily potter are dead, but ron weasley and hermione granger return to their families for the summer, wondering what fourth year will have in store for them and their not-so-little (all too grown up) boy.

[itsdappleagain]

actually rounding out all of team red now too, player, zack, and shadowsan for the character asks?

SWEET! thank you sm!

player

How I feel about this character: he's good! i dont hate him but i dont love him. he's cool. fic writers make him so much better tbh. im often frustrated by him because im trying to put carmen in dire situations but i have to figure out how to keep him out of them loll

All the people I ship romantically with this character: uhhh no one i dont think. i thought that one girl in his classroom who smiled at him was funny. and didnt people ship him with that icelandic kid that gray stopped from getting hit by a car??? that was hilarious we should bring that back

My non-romantic OTP for this character: OKAY i already said this on my chase post but him and chase. they have such a dynamic i cannot even explain it because i think im one of the only people who's even touched it but they're so,,, chase can be his dad okay??? also of course him and carmen are a staple

My unpopular opinion about this character: should have put him in more Situations

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: should have put him in more Situations idk what to say

zack

How I feel about this character: he's a very sweet character but i am more often annoyed at him. whenever the writers try to give him an episode its more like a "look what zack has fucked up this time" episode. ivy got the stockholm caper to take charge, which was so cool. zack got...the duke of vermeer caper?? the one where he fucked up the exchange so bad by opening the door to dash that he had to fix it? or maybe the dubai caper, where he was told to steal a car and his petty grudge made him so hateful that he got himself and ivy arrested?? his character deserved sooo much better than annoying comedic relief driver

All the people I ship romantically with this character: hey whatever ship comes along is good yknow? haberzackary. uh. who else do people ship him with?? idk haberzackary was cool when it was super popular. i dont think of him as a super romantic type though. even though he's technically the only character in carmen sandiego to have ever canonically written in the script played out flirted with someone. and she turned out to be a vile op lmaoo

My non-romantic OTP for this character: i think him and chase are funny in a hypothetical situation where they interact. they're both drivers but one is much worse than the other. also zack and mime bomb thank you mangokat

My unpopular opinion about this character: i think i've already stated quite a few above. i have so many plans for him. so many fic ideas

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: literally give him anything interesting or not annoying PLEASE.

shadowsan

How I feel about this character: BEST CHARACTER IN THE SHOW OKAY HE'S DADOWSAN!!!!!!

All the people I ship romantically with this character: WHOO not many!! lady dokuso but ONLY so they can be divorced because thats so much funnier to me. i also kind of like him and chief a little? but more as a good friends ship so hang on

My non-romantic OTP for this character: okay him and chief. i am inhaling their potential for a relationship. they were both sent for dexter wolfe that night. shadow-san was supposed to kill him and tamara wasn't but their roles ended up reversed. their actions that night are irreversibly tangled with carmen's entire story. they both were promoted that night because of what happened- tamara to chief, shadow-san to faculty. do you see??? do you see how tangled up in everyone's stories and each other's they are??? shadow-san owes chief a coffee,, also carmen. she is his daughter. they are family

My unpopular opinion about this character: really honestly don't have any OH WAIT NO okay he shouldn't have done that to poor zack okay. just knocked him out like that. he was doing his best

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: writers were so cowardly for breaking his leg in s4 to ground him. absolutely not thank you

[lara635kookie]

23-CarmTiger:

Kinda toxic but I can see them working. Only a little bit, not so much. The thing is, having the context of Sheena and Black Sheep's rivalry in V.I.L.E. Academy and how Tigress's relation was with Evil Carmen, and even regular Carmen, it would be better for both of them to stay far from one another. They are not exactly healthy but they are somewhat entertaining(somehow), which saved them from a lower position, because wanting or not, they stand out for being similar to catradora(I mean I wouldn't know, I haven't watch She-Ra yet but I've heard people saying this so I'll take it). I'm not sure but it seems like they were enemies to lovers what Carmen and Sheena could be if done right so there's that.

24-PlayCarm:

Listen, I believe that you should marry your bestfriend but Carmen already has Gray and Ivy. Player is her best friend but her platonic best friend. In theory, they have a 4 year age gap and Player is 18 by the end of the series so they are legal. I mean Carulia probably has a 5 year age gap and people still like it so this fact alone would make PlayCarm better than Carulia. But the thing is, it would be so weird. As far as we know they only met personally once and they are family. But not family like husband or wife but as siblings, cousins. I just can't see it. Platonically speaking, they would probably be first place but since it's romantically, they just feel wrong. They basically grew up together and while their friendship definitely matured with them as time was passing by, it still never showed nothing romantic. They are just too platonically wholesome to be romantic. Their friendship is the cutest little thing already, we don't need romance with these two here. Moving on.

25-MimeEel:

I know a good amount of people ship Mime Bomb and Neal The Eel(and I admit that they got some chemestry and would make a fun storyline) but still, I just think Neal The Eel is so gross and I hate him so much. Yes, this is solely the only reason why they are so low:Mime Bomb deserves better than him.

26-JulGray:

Now it starts the ships that are either too toxic, or wouldn't work AT ALL, or barely interacted(in the sense of almost don't know about the orther's existance). JulGray configurate mostly in the third category, because Gray saw Julia as just some A.C.M.E. agent and Julia saw Gray as "Graham Calloway, former V.I.L.E. operative Crackle that knows Carmen Sandiego". I also think it would be really hard for them to work, but they could in a way it wouldn't be toxic. Hard, but definitely not impossible. It would take a lot of effort and sacrifices I think neither of them would be willingly to take for the other tho. So as I saw them as the least worse ship, considering the others that will come after this, that for me are much worse, compared to any of them this one is "okay".

27-CrackleBomb:

I've seen Crackle and Mime Bomb are a thing but...I really don't understand why tbh. It makes zero sense. Maybe that's the appeal? The imagination to create? I don't know but just like JulGray, they are "meh" compared to what's coming.

28-Mimevineaux:

They both are technically legal adults(even if the age gap must be considerably big)...So that's it. I've got nothing else.

29-HaberZack:

I don't like Dash Haber. I just think he is so ugly and so annoying for no reason at all, he just is. I hate him a little bit less than Neal The Eel but Neal and Mime Bomb still had some sorta kinda maybe chemestry that could be enemies to lovers and an almost potential interesting plot/storyline and these two...Just don't. I found out this is a popular ship and I respect it but in my sincere opinion, I can't see it. Zack just deserves so much better(and the age gap between them must be considerable either).

30-TreyZack:

If they could put their differences aside they would be adorable but I just can't see it. They would be so toxic, oh my god. Them as enemies is so toxic in a way I can't see the lovers. Besides, he passes me straight vibes, which is the only reason why I putted HaberZack higher:Dash is probably gay and any sexuality for Zack sounds convinceable to me. So yeah, these two are a definite no.

31-Maelstroundabout:

Maelstrom and Roundabout are at the same page as TreyZack:They are toxicity all around. They are an interesting pair tho because I don't know if that's just me but I felt like Roundabout was constantly trying to get Maelstrom's approval. Even after he was already a part of the faculty. So it's basically the same thing as Countess Cleo:If Maelstrom treated his condition maybe they could work. But for toxicity points, they get the current score.

32-Sulotta:

Shadowsan and Carlotta...Do they even know each other? If they don't, they probably will but just because they are Carmen's family they don't need to be romantically linked together. I guess they are so low because we don't even know Carlotta's face, even less her personality so we don't know if she is a good match for Shadowsan.

33-BruntCleo:

Okay, no. Just no. They are almost complete opposites. But not in the "opposites atract" kind of way. Because for this trope to work you gotta REALLY love, understand and respect the other, as well as doing some sacrifices and trying to adapt at least a little for them just like them for you(which I don't think Carjulia, HaberZack, etc could do even if they tried and this one they would never). I felt like Coach Brunt was the least liked among the faculty. Maelstrom literally left her to die(okay I know he would do it to everyone but still), Shadowsan and her clearly had beef, and Countess Cleo and Doctor Bellum's reaction to her soulmate The Mechanic was of almost disgust. Cleo clearly didn't want The Mechanic as a part of the faculty. I bet she thought something like:"We already have Coach Brunt, we don't need another gross one" so due to their differences that's their place. They barely interacted, like Countess Cleo and Doctor Bellum or Maelstrom. These three seemed close and often done with Coach Brunt. So they would be toxic(and Countess Cleo deserves better) and overall there are better combinations for them so that's why they place here.

34-BruntChase:

Besides Coach Brunt finding him handsome a couple of times and he being flattered about it in the Lupe Peligro episode, there's not really much about these two that isn't toxicity. Coach Brunt actually gives more to CarChase:both Carmen and Devineaux were crushed by Coach Brunt. So they are a no.

35-Shadowsandiego:

Thinking about them romantically makes me want to vomit. I feel like crying and throwing up. He is her father figure. And the age gap is at least more than 20 years old so yeah. Can't see it.

And we are done here. If you got here, thank you for reading. Bye!

[thewolfisawake]

Hoo, Eri's feelings are super fun because I can't completely decipher what it is or why it shows up the way it does. But like at current, they'll go down as the villain. Like they are fine with that ending. They'd rather suffer than be granted mercy by those of their disdain. It's a disgrace worse than death. A definite 'grace is weakness.'

And they don't seem to have thought of themselves beyond their hand in the conspiracy and their revenge. No matter if they tell themselves and others otherwise. Mainly because they don't know. They don't know who they are outside of this role they have lived for so much of their life.

And they don't fight it because...well, Eriskyne hasn't really known there is anything else. Like their life is painted so gray and black, having color--such as joy and love--is alien. It is something difficult to fathom. Despite the technicality they have experienced those things, it was so far in the past that they almost think of it as a dream.

Weirdly they contextualize their thing as like a dream. Almost like the airheaded fantasies of being whisked away by fae of all things. Fairy tale like. Despite having the cynicism that denounces that sort of ideal. That's how far removed they feel from their life before. That it almost can feel like it didn't exist or wistful thinking.

Also strange is how their resentment manifests. Like you'd think it's Seoras they hate the most. And they do. But because of how intimately their schemes and their father's run, they can't really show or act on that resentment. So the honestly less severe disdains seemed dialed up because they have no other place they can take out their resentment. And it seems to actually fall on gentry that are older than themselves and Tara. That is King Camhlaidh and the nobles his age.

The most obvious of this is Ruaidhri. Like really they do not hate Ruaidhri anywhere near as much as Seoras. But I feel like their pettiness and actions make it seem so much bigger. Like they know Ruaidhri knows nothing about them. And they don't begrudge him in that respect. But it as has been rightfully pointed out, it is indeed frustrating to know and watch your sibling coast while you feel you're busting your ass. And honestly? I think some of it is Seoras rubbing off on them since it's like where you vent to someone about someone you dislike or get annoyed with so much and the listener gets up into it.

And like the deepest thing they dislike about Ruaidhri is the knowledge that he gets everything. Even if it ended up the success of the Allanach getting in with the royal line, Ruaidhri gets the most out of that. Not them. And this looming inevitability that they will never be the one to truly be the one lauded nor crowned with that success. I still have no idea how Seoras has not considered Eriskyne's reward out of the scheme. Like royal line, woo but like...do they get anything substantial out of it? Eriskyne has assumed that likely if it was a fully success, Seoras would bump him off. It's not like he'd mourn it much.

The other is actually Camhlaidh. This is the one that I kinda get but also baffles the fuck out of me. Like you would think it's the royal they were set up to court. But no. They don't dislike Tara, if anything in a similar boat. Like she gets a pass despite everything. But Camhlaidh? They are judging him hard.

The best I can think it's not really Camhlaidh himself that Eriskyne hates, it's all the he represents. He is the inheritor and main player of the royalty that his father is obsessed with and has been told whom they're supposed to want to be with or be. And they cannot see any worth in it. Not when you have 'friends' like the current advisor. And not when you are a constant spectacle for your subjects and laid bare by the land itself. They cannot understand it (and probably a bit annoyed from how he acts is not how they would act.)

The other is that he is not only king but King of the Seelie Court. The fae. The bloodline and figures that brought them to this insane land. The fae that are the wanton and beguiling. The fae that are ruthless and elusive. The fae they wanted nothing to do with but it is literally all they have.

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

Sucker Love chapter 1

here's that IWtV cruel intentions au I talked about. or read it below

“In fact, Armand's power to seduce was almost beyond his control.”-QotD

Harlech had been easy to seduce.  All Armand had to do was bat his eyes and blush a little, and the fool was eating out of his hand.  Of course, Armand had only seduced him to get back at Marius.  

Marius who had said that Armand was too young to dedicate himself solely to him.  That he needed to experience his life without Marius holding him back.  How it was hard, but he had to give Armand his freedom.

Armand had never been dumped before.  Had never been in love before Marius. How he wished Riccardo were here to talk about it, but he was spending the summer working at some internship Marius had arranged for him.  

And it wasn't like he could speak to his friends about it.  They'd all think Marius is too old for him.  Especially if they knew it started when he was fifteen.  Still technically Marius' ward as well.  But Gabrielle would adopt him soon enough; those nasty rumors started at about the same time he showed up.  Rumors that the tragic deaths of her husband and two eldest sons weren't accidents.

Taking in someone with his background would do wonders for her reputation.  The gracious white woman taking in a poor, abused brown boy.  People thought she was a saint.

Gabrielle herself hadn't thought much of him; according to her, Lestat chose him.  "I could have taken any of Marius' boys, but Lestat picked you."

Armand had been fatally in love with him before he even met him.

Then he met him.  They'd both been sixteen at the time.  Armand had been living with Marius for a year.  Gabrielle had led him out of his home, and Armand had been furious, then he saw Lestat.  Golden blond hair and blue-gray eyes.  A square jaw that would let him pass for a few years older.  A waist that begged to be engulfed by hands.

He had been the most beautiful thing Armand had ever seen.  

Then he opened his mouth.

"Oh, he's taller than me.  I don't like that.  Can we take him back?"

Gabrielle doesn't address him.  She turns to Armand and eyes him up and down.  "Yes, you'll do well.  Lestat, meet your brother, Armand." 

Lestat has done everything in his power to make Armand crazy.  They can be wicked adversaries, or close confidantes. Armand never knew where they stood.  

Sometimes he wondered if Marius sensed his feelings for Lestat.  He'd never minded that Armand slept around–it helped maintain their cover, after all–but he might care if there were feelings involved.  Armand had never asked him; he didn't want to know the answer.  

But Harlech had been to punish Marius.  Dr. Harlech was Armand’s therapist, something Marius had insisted he see with his trauma.  Gabrielle had kept up the habit, likely to ensure he didn't try to turn to her.  She had no interest in mothering of any kind, not even to Lestat.  

Marius had arranged a sort of joint custody with her.  He'd been taking care of Armand’s mental health, why not let him continue?  He could arrange everything and send her the bill.  Harlech continued.  Worse still, Armand had discovered Harlech was reporting back to Marius about their sessions.

He'd suspected it all along, naturally.  Dropped a few pieces of bait.  Waited to see if Marius would notice something he shouldn't.  It clicked when Armand mentioned trying marijuana, and a few days later, Marius had found weed in his room,completely by chance.

So Armand had seduced Harlech.  It was easy enough.  He'd recorded them together on his phone.  Only audio, but Armand had made sure to say his name crystal clear.  

He had considered the possibility of using Harlech to feed Marius fake information.  But he wanted Marius to know he'd done this.  Wants him to know he found out, and cut his little puppet's strings.  Had those strings tight in his own hands now.  

He sent Marius the audio.  He had been furious.  "I suppose you'll have to fire him.  Don't bother replacing him; the next one I'll tell about us."

Marius had acquiesced that Armand didn't need therapy.  Armand had told Harlech he wouldn't tell anyone, as long as he let Gabrielle think he was still seeing him.  He spent the weekly session doing whatever he wanted.  Usually some attractive classmate.

Or sometimes, he just lounges around the house if he knows nobody will be home.  

It’s a nice home.  A sprawling French style country home with two stories.  The living room is all whites and creams and shades of brown and the occasional green.  It looks like something out of a magazine.  

Lounging is what he's doing today.  He's in silk pajama bottoms and a low cut white vee neck tee stretched out on the sofa.  He's casually skimming through his texts–most from former lovers.  They always fall for him so quickly, and he never returns their love.  It garnered him quite the reputation.  

There's one text from Bianca, who he adores completely.  She'd been a senior when Armand was fifteen and started school with Marius' other foster children.  She immediately took him under her wing. 

It had been a prestigious school, one Lestat joined last year.  Already he was insanely popular.  Armand still had remnants of his second hand popularity from being in Bianca's orbit.  

He checks her text. "Just got back for the summer, come save me from my parents." 

Well, he could do that.

Before he can respond, he gets a text from Harlech.  

"I can't stop thinking about you.  Come see me.”  Then immediately after, “I think I'm in love with you."

Armand rolls his eyes. So melodramatic.  He's about to tell Harlech so, when his phone is snatched out of his hand.  "Who are you making that face at?"

It's Lestat.  Armand turns around on the couch and snatches his phone back.  It doesn't matter, Lestat has already seen.

"Did you fuck your therapist?"

Armand scowls at him.  "Yes, I wanted Marius to fire him."

Lestat scoops up Armand’s legs and sits down with them stretched across his lap.  He pets them like Armand is some wild cat he's trying to tame.

"Won't he just replace him?"

Armand holds his phone back up and begins drafting a reply.  "But how would I ever trust again? Better not to risk retraumatizing me."

It's an easy lie to sell.

"That's messed up," Lestat says.  "When I try to fuck my therapist, he turns me down."

"Isn't your therapist geriatric?"

"Middle aged.  He's middle-aged."

Armand opens up a new tab.  According to Google, David Tabolt is sixty-two.  One might deduce Lestat has daddy issues.

"He wouldn't turn me down," Armand says.  It’s easy to get people to do what you want most of the time.  

“Yes, he would.  He’s stupidly noble like that.”

Armand doesn’t care enough to respond.  Lestat sits with him in silence for a moment, just casually running a hand up and down his leg.  Lestat is so tactile.  Usually, Armand doesn’t like being touched.  But it’s okay when it’s Lestat.  It feels nice.  Lestat’s hand creeps up higher past his knee to his thigh.  Arman arches a brow at him over his phone.  “Something you want?”

“You and Louis are still friendly, yes?”

At the end of the school year, Louis had broken up with Lestat.  The reason had been Antoinette, a girl from the glee club Lestat had hooked up with.  Armand doesn’t blame Louis for dumping Lestat.  If you had someone like Louis, you cherished them, not cheated on them.  But Lestat is free in giving his love, and freer in giving his body.

“We’re friends.”

Lestat’s hand rubs at his thigh.  “I need a favor.  I want you to keep him distracted.”

“Distracted?”

Lestat nods.  “Just until I can win him back.  Keep him too busy to start dating someone else.”

“Aren’t you worried I’ll steal him away?”

Lestat grins and turns to face him.  He reaches out and tucks a stray curl behind Armand’s ear.  “You wouldn’t do that to me, would you, brother?”

Armand bats the hand away.  Lestat always gets touchy-feely when he wants something.  Like he knows how much Armand wants him.  Though Armand supposes that much is obvious.  And why shouldn’t he?  Everyone wanted Lestat.  

“I should.  Maybe you’d learn something, if you were capable of such a feat as learning.”

“Don’t be mean.  You’re unattractive when you’re mean.”

“I’m most attractive when I’m mean.”

Lestat drops his hand.  “Fine, don’t distract him.  Just…take care of him.  You’re good at that.”

It looks like it hurt him to say.  He has that sour look on his face, like he just tried some of Gabrielle’s cooking.  Armand lets him squirm a moment before saying “Yes, alright.”

He’d take care of Louis anyway.  Louis is his best friend.  

“You know the new headmaster we’re getting has a son?” Lestat says, seemingly moving on from talking about Louis.  “He’s going to be a senior, like us.”

“So?”

Lestat scrolls through his phone and passes it to Armand.  “Daniel Molloy.  He wrote this.”

Armand takes the phone and skims through the article.  It’s titled ‘A Virgin’s Manifesto’.   It's incredibly well-written drivel about love, and how waiting for it is a decision that shouldn’t be criticized.  Reading it lets Armand know two things; Daniel Molloy is a hopeless romantic, and Daniel Molloy is a liar.  No one who looked like the picture in the article could be a virgin.  No, someone like that would have been ruthlessly pursued.  

“I can see why you’re intrigued; he’s more Catholic than Louis.”

Lestat rolls his eyes and snatches the phone back.  “That’s not what I want with him.”

He maneuvers up and situates himself between Armand’s legs, his back to Armand’s chest.  Armand freezes.  “What are you doing?”

Lestat does this sort of thing just to tease him.  Because he’s cruel and heartless and Armand hates him, hates him, hates him.  

Lestat tips up his head and moves his mouth up near Armand’s ear.  “Relax, little brother.  I don’t bite.”

That isn’t true, Armand has seen the mess Lestat had left Louis’ neck.  He was in turtle-necks for a week.  The idea of Lestat doing so to his neck springs in his head.  He pushes it aside.  “You’re only a few months older than me.”

Lestat relaxes back against him.  Armand allows it for the moment, but he’s stiff as a board.  “I want to play a game,” Lestat declares, then before Armand can answer begins to massage his thigh.  “You’re so stiff, loosen up.  It’s like you’ve never had a boy in your lap before.”

“I’ve had more boys than you,” Armand says, because it’s true and it irritates Lestat.  

“But I’ve had more girls.”

Armand waves a dismissive hand.  “And what prizes they were!  Isn’t Gretchen a nun now?  And Dora, the girl who hands out bibles at lunch?  Religious and tortured, you have a type.”

“At least I care for my lovers.  You fuck them and feel nothing.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

Lestat presses more of his weight back on him.  “It’s weird.”

“You often say I’m weird.”

“Yeah, because you’re a weirdo,” Lestat says, then as if to soften the blow, he grins up at him and says “My weirdo.”

Armand’s insides feel warm.  Stupid.  “What game are you talking about?”

“A bet,” Lestat says.  “About the virgin Daniel Molloy.”

“A bet?”

“Yes, I bet you can’t seduce him,” says Lestat.  “You’ll have until school starts back to do it.”

Armand scoffs lightly.  “I wouldn’t need half so much time.”

“Then you accept?” Lestat says and turns his face up into Armand’s neck and nuzzles against him.  He presses a soft, warm kiss to Armand’s throbbing pulse point.  Armand tries to stop the sharp little inhale it causes.

“What are the odds?”

Lestat turns around fully, moving so that he’s straddling Armand’s thighs.  He dips down and kisses Armand high up on his cheek.  “If I win, I get the Harley.”

Armand jerks back.  “That is a vintage nineteen-”

Lestat cuts him off with a finger over his lips.  Armand bites it.

Lestat doesn’t look angry.  He looks the opposite of angry.  He must really think he can win this bet; he’s laying it on thick with the flirting.  He bends down again and puts his mouth near Armand’s ear.  “And if you win, you get me.  However you’d like to have me.”

Heat floods down Armand’s body.  He ignores it.  “What makes you think I’d risk the bike for you?  I love that bike.”

The bike was a black 1945 Thunderbike Knucklehead.  Marius had gotten it for him as a sixteenth birthday gift.  Lestat had a bike once, some sleek, modern thing that he had crashed while driving too fast.  Gabrielle hasn’t gotten Lestat another bike yet, though Armand knows eventually she’ll give in.  People always give in to Lestat.

Lestat leans close, their mouths almost brushing.  “Because I’m the one person you can’t have, and it drives you crazy.”

Lestat is wrong about the reason; his desire has nothing to do with Lestat not wanting him.  But it does drive him crazy.  

Only an absolute brute would force someone to keep an agreement like that.  

“However I’d like?”

Lestat grins.  “However you like.”

“Alright, I agree.”

Lestat’s eyes get a mischievous sparkle.  “A kiss to seal the deal,” he says and kisses Armand on the mouth.  It’s so quick Armand barely has time to process it’s happening before it’s over.  

Then he’s up and off Armand and heading out of the room.  Armand waits for him to leave and texts Bianca.

“Otw.  We’re going to find out everything about Daniel Molloy.”

[phenomenal1500]

Toxic Love | Erik Killmonger

Summary: 'There are devilish thoughts even in the most angelic minds.' 

Delaney Delcour, an infamous mobster's daughter, has always been isolated from the outside world. Danger and threats lurked from the shadows everywhere and after the loss of her mother, her father surrounded her with his bodyguards to protect her.... her privacy completely shattered by her father's fear of losing her, but what would happen if the woman decides to sneak around at her father's business party and accidentally comes into contact with something that someone could never protect her from, not even her father? Something way worse than the dangers and threats her father had warned her about when she was little.... 

Relationship: Incubus!Erik Killmonger x Delaney Delcour [OC] 

Fandom: Black Panther [Marvel]

AU: Maffia AU

Chapter 1: ~The Grim Reaper~

1980– The golden year of mobster Isaiah Delcour aka the grim reaper, a merciless man. A man so cruel he took life from his own brothers to achieve the title he now wore with pride. Nobody dared to speak of his name or even think about him, yet everyone did because of the constant assaults. Kill after kill entered the news like it was some casual Friday evening gossip on tv and new nemeses were created in no time.... Nemeses just as bloodthirsty as Mr. Delcour himself. It even came as a surprised that the man managed to stay alive for so long and even bring a daughter into his murderous world with his beautiful wife. Delaney Delcour came into the world on 14 December 1994, the same year her mother lost her life as a result of torture at the hands of another Maffia family for information.

Delaney's gray eyes never left her reflection in the mirror as her friend continued warning her about their future plans. Not that she cared though, she was too busy adjusting her cat-like eyeliner that perfectly matched her eye shape while sipping from her champagne.

"Figuratively kill me? Yes I know." Delaney answered shortly, looking up at her friend once with a raised brow before continuing with her eyeliner. "But what's life without a little bit of risk and danger?" She let the eye pencil wave through the air in an elegant way and smirked before drawing the last line to connect it with the black wing she made.

"Death. It's death, Delaney. You know what happened to your moth-...." Reyna was stopped by a sharp finger being pointed at her and Delaney slowly turned her head her way.

"Don't you dare bring her up." She hissed and squinted her anger-filled eyes, her not-pointing hand clenched in a fist. It left her knuckles white and her eye pencil almost broke, yet she managed to control her urge to snap it in half right in time.

"But...." Reyna tried again, knowing that it wouldn't help but she really wanted to warn her best friend about the risks she was going to take disobeying her father's orders.

"No, that won't happen, Reyna. I know the consequences and how to deal with them. I was born with them and I'm a grown up woman now. It'll be all fine and besides, we're staying close to my father so.... technically I'm not breaking any rules."

"No, that won't happen, Reyna. I know the consequences and how to deal with them. I was born with them and I'm a grown up woman now. It'll be all fine and besides, we're staying close to my father so.... technically I'm not breaking any rules."

She was right.

She grew up with her father's saying so she knew exactly how to deal with every single rule and what was on the border of anger or crossing it. The plan was to creep around the business party, not go to a forbidden part of the city so it couldn't really go wrong and Reyna knew that too so worrying made no sense.

Reyna sighed and scrunched her black kinky curls to create more volume with one hand while sipping from her red wine like it was limonade. "You know what? Fine. Let's have some fun. There better be some hot men." She giggled and put down her now empty glass, a maiden filling it up right away again.

"There's my wild friend." She chuckled and lifted her soft ash brown curls into a bun, letting some loose curls cover her face to create a messy yet still fancy effect. After that she held her tight dress at the hem so she could get up from her vanity without it gliding up and then she pulled up the top of her dress to make sure everything was hugging her body perfectly. She always had to be careful with moving too much in this dress or else her breasts would bounce out of the cups of her low cut dress, but it suited her perfectly and so she always took the risk. Twirling around in the mirror one last time, she admired her wide hips, round breasts and slim waist one last time before watching her friend. "Ready?"

"Ready." Reyna repeated, putting her hands in the pockets of her crème colored pants after checking if she had her phone.

~~~

Pushing the heavy door of the black limo open, Delaney stepped out of the vehicle and into the 24 degrees weather. Normally it would've been way warmer, but there was a strange atmosphere at the place they were. It wasn't too warm outside that day nor was it cold and there were almost no shadows because of the bright sun. Delaney pushed up her octagon sunglasses to shield her sensitive eyes from the sun. Waiting for her father to leave the limo as well, she leaned against it with a very relaxed and uninterested body posture. She never cared about business meetings like this. She knew there wasn't anything interesting about them and she wasn't allowed to do anything either so she hated it.

However, this time it would all be different.

The woman looked around for a bit as her father joined her right side, pushing her sunglasses down a bit to focus on different groups of people. Drug dealers, politicians, Business CEOs, associates. Everyone came together at these type of events.... even the assassins.... not that she cared though. She wasn't afraid of any of them. At first she was, but the more she was exposed to death around her, it didn't even give her the slightest bit of fear. With her chin up and her back straight, she followed her father inside the tall, castle-like mansion.

"I need you to wait here until I get back, after that we will join the rest, alright?" They moved through the stone hallways, her father turning his back to her and speaking to her from over his shoulder.

"Alright." She closed her eyes and gave a single nod, playing the obedient girl she always was once again before her father disappeared. Delaney knew it however wasn't time to carry out her plan yet and crossed her arms, leaning back against the wall.

This was going to be a long day....

Perhaps.... Perhaps not. It's all up to you, ma.

The woman's head shot up from up from watching her heels, shocked to see a random dude leaning against the wall on the opposite side. He had his simple black Jordan 1 covering his feet, wearing simple black cargo pants with golden chains hanging from it and an oversized off-white sweater on top of that too. She hadn't noticed him before. The stranger was handsome for sure and she would've definitely noticed him at her arrival so where did he come from? She also hadn't heard his footsteps.... and did he just speak to her through her mind?

She shook the thoughts away, no one could do that.

The stranger's nut brown eyes swept over her body with lust before he pushed his body away from the wall and towards her. Delaney never got anyones attention like this, perhaps also because they knew she was off limits, but that only made this more exciting cause he didn't seem to care at all.

His gaze met hers.... step for step was he narrowing the gap between them until he was so close she could inhale his sweet and strong cologne. "Who are you?" She managed to speak with a desperate sigh, her heart beating so loud she was afraid he could hear it.

"Does it really matter?" He whispered into her ear with the most lustful voice she had ever heard and right when she got the urge to hold onto him- touch him- feel him, she could hear her father's voice yell out for her. Her head shot to the side, afraid she would get caught with a man standing this close to her and she wanted to push the stranger away only to find out he was gone.... completely gone. There were no trails of anyone being with her at all.

Was she going crazy?

[lepusrufus]

Double edged scalpel ch.10

Ch1 ch2 ch3 ch4 ch5 ch6 ch7 ch8 ch9

Summary: scary moms are scary

---

Nicole stilled.

Moms.

Well this just got a million times worse.

Surprisingly enough, Nicole could count on her fingers the times she had crossed paths with either of the Ladies. Lady Dimitrescu was often busy and not bothering with the staff. Most things that needed communicated went through the Steward. Mistress Esteria was, as some would call her, a ghost. She preferred her solitude or time with family so it wasn't unheard of for new staff members to take months before they even see her around the castle. Paired with Nicole's job that had her in the dungeons almost all the time, she never got an actual introduction to either of them.

Not that she complained. It didn't take a genius to realize that both women were to be feared.

I think I'd like to bleed out now.

"What about?" Her voice was barely audible, due to fear or pain was anyone's guess.

"... I don't know." Cassandra's quiet voice mimicked her own.

"Should I assume it is about your um… choice of partners?"

The realization that, to anyone outside Cassandra, she was little more than a maid turned butcher hit Nicole almost as much as the bullet that until not long ago was wedged into her flesh. Would they forbid Cassandra from seeing her? Or perhaps decide that Nicole has committed an unspeakable offense to their family and punish her? She gulped and Cassandra's reply wasn't of much help either.

"I don't know," she repeated.

Nicole sighed, a slow drawn out exhale, all too aware of the pain it would cause otherwise. "When?"

"Soon. They told me to let them know when you wake up."

Nicole just nodded and laid back into the cushions. May as well be comfortable before facing death. But Cassandra didn't move. Instead, she interlocked their fingers and brought Nicole's hand to her lips, leaving a kiss on bony knuckles. They stayed like that, silently, for a full minute before Cassandra got up and, with a be right back, exited the room.

Left alone, Nicole looked down at herself once more. To say she looked awful was an understatement. Definitely not going to rely on appearance to make a good impression. The painkiller was also yet to do its job and any movement still shot jolts of pain through her body. Wonderful.

It wasn't long before the door opened again and Cassandra came in followed by Lady Dimitrescu, her trademark hat making her look even taller and more intimidating than she already was. Immediately behind, Mistress Esteria took light steps, her long white hair flowing behind her like a silky mantle.

They looked so in contrast with each other, and it went beyond the almost opposite color schemes. While the Lady had the expression of a mother about to scold her child for carelessly running up the stairs and scraping a knee, the Mistress looked about to take out the bandaids. Her eyes, blue and gray, looked at her with something akin to kindness.

"What's your name dear?"

God her voice sounded like rivers deep in the forest. Flowing and ancient and just as powerful as she probably was.

"Nicole," she gulped.

The Mistress came to a stop right by the bed, tall frame bending down and grabbing Nicole's chin between two fingers. She moved her head from one side to the other and hummed.

"My my, what a pretty face. You've always had quite the taste in women, love." She looked at Cassandra who only nodded stiffly.

Then, she was up again and moving towards the other matriarch, who by now was sitting in an armchair. The Mistress leaned on the armrest, opting to ignore the many other places to sit and Nicole had to wonder for a moment if they were the clingy type. What an oddly human trait.

A long drag of a cigarette was drawn out before golden eyes finally fell on Nicole and the Lady spoke.

"I was actually surprised to learn about how… deeply Cassandra cares about you. To actually come to me and ask for help saving your life." She narrowed her eyes slightly, just enough for it to be a clear warning. "I sure hope such kindness was not wasted on you."

Sensing where this conversation was going, Nicole groaned internally. Of all things, she would rather not have the break my daughter's heart and I'll break your legs conversation with Cassandra's mothers while a damn hole in her abdomen was still sending waves of pain through her body if she didn't move just right. In her defense, the painkiller was yet to kick in and there's only so much holding her tongue she can do while in pain.

"With all due respect my Ladies, I'd rather throw myself off the highest tower in this castle than pretend to love Cassandra. Have you met her."

That got a snort from the brunette, who quickly masked it with a cough. The Mistress however laughed. A melodic laugh that, in another situation, would be the most soothing thing.

"Oh dear. While the reassurance is appreciated, we do trust Cassandra's judgement."

"For the most part," Lady Dimitrescu added, eyes still narrowed.

"And we would love to have you for dinner soon," the Mistress went on, ignoring the small glare from her wife.

Another drag of the cigarette. "Well anyways. We didn't come here for a welcoming party. We'd like to make you a proposal."

Judging by Cassandra's furrowed brows, she probably knew as little about this as Nicole did. A proposal from Lady Dimitrescu could either be wonderful news or a death sentence. She couldn't help a gulp when the Lady continued.

"Contrary to popular belief, I do care about my staff. At least those who prove themselves useful." The cigarette was finally done and now Nicole had the luck of having her full attention. "And, as you may have guessed, medical training is not particularly common around here. I do happen to want a castle physician, a position that could be filled by someone skilled that also has a good reason to do a good job and be loyal to my family."

Wait what-

Nicole blinked in confusion, an expression mimicked by Cassandra. Did she mean…?

Lady Dimitrescu raised an eyebrow. "Do you accept?"

"Y- yes." The words spilled from her mouth without a second thought. And why would she have second thoughts after all?

Lady Dimitrescu watched her for a long moment. Then, when she seemed pleased with her findings, she rose to her feet.

"Very well. We will discuss the technicalities once you're in a better state. Now try not to bleed out before you even start your job. And," she sighed, "you are expected at dinner as soon as you're able to join us."

The last part caused her wife's lips to turn into a warm smile. The Lady simply turned around and ducked out of the room while Mistress Esteria lingered by Cassandra. She whispered something only the brunette could hear and then leaned in to kiss her forehead. The Mistress had a couple inches on Cassandra, which meant she was towering over Nicole. Then, with a smile in her direction, she too was out of the room, leaving only the two of them to stare at the door in disbelief.

"Well that went… well."

"Oh for the love of Mother Miranda," Cassandra sighed in relief, hands running through her hair.

Her shoulders lost their tension when she came to sit by Nicole's side, a smile now present on thin black lips.

"Your mothers seem… lovely women."

"Shut up you were scared shitless."

There goes Nicole's attempt at being polite. Not that Cassandra was wrong by all means, but part of her wanted to be on good terms with her lover's family. Maybe it was simply due to her relationship with the brunette, maybe it was due to how her own family never seemed to care much for each other. Not the way the Dimitrescus did, despite how they were seen as monsters by most outside eyes. She didn't let herself dwell on it, instead she took one of Cassandra's hands and started to play with slender fingers.

"Are you hungry? I can ask Cynthia to fix something for you."

Nicole smiled at the effort to make her feel better. She would never get tired of seeing Cassandra's caring and gentle side, especially when she knew how ruthless she could be otherwise.

"In a bit. I'm waiting for the painkiller to fully kick in so I can actually sit up."

Cassandra nodded and looked to the side, seemingly lost in some kind of thought. Nicole wanted to ask what got the brunette pensive all of a sudden, but before she could, golden eyes snapped back to her.

"Also. Don't you dare jump in front of a bullet for me ever again. It wouldn't have hurt me anywhere near as much as it hurt you."

There was a subtle growl in her voice that would have scared any other person. But Nicole recognized how the anger was just veiled worry at how much worse their situation could’ve gotten.

"Sorry. I just saw him with the gun and panicked." There was a reason she didn't pursue her father's idea of becoming a surgeon after all, and pissing him off was only part of it. "And I'm glad you didn't get hurt at all."

Cassandra narrowed her eyes, but her expression quickly softened. The big bad sadist couldn’t stay mad at her lover and Nicole almost teased her about it, but a gloved hand slowly caressing her cheek stopped her.

“I’m just happy you’re alive.”

[filmnoirsbian]

re: ur tags on the zombie genre, have u seen in the flesh? its from like ten years ago i think (and ive only rewatched it once since so it might have aged poorly) but i rlly liked how simply setting the story post-finding the cure to the zombie status forces the show to reckon with the morality of the genre

Yes!! I watched it years ago and that show is actually what made me start to reconsider the way that we approach death/killing in the zombie genre. I think often in zombie media (and post apocalyptic stories in general), writers depend on the "humans are the real monsters" trope for their gray morality lessons. (Night of the Living Dead did this first and, in my opinion, it remains the best) In films and tv shows like The Walking Dead, 28 Days Later, and even lighthearted zombie media like iZombie and Little Monsters, other human beings are often worse than the zombies, either using the apocalypse as an excuse to commit atrocities, or simply getting others killed through their own selfishness. In those cases, the atrocities are (usually) committed against other human beings, which is what makes them unjust. (Stories like iZombie, Z Nation, Warm Bodies etc are obviously framed a little differently since the protagonists are not always human themselves) In (most of) the zombie genre, you can get away with doing anything to zombies, because they are no longer human. You can kill and maim them in increasingly fun and gory ways. Zombies are monsters in the basest sense of the word, and it's us or them. Even if a zombie isn't outright attacking you, killing it will prevent it from attacking you or others in the future, so technically it's always self defense. Even stories that make the zombie(s) sympathetic like iZombie, Warm Bodies, In the Flesh and Z Nation all involve trying to treat or cure the zombies in question, and bring them back onto the human side. That's what makes them sympathetic. Their zombieism is a virus, and it isn't their fault that they're sick, and they want to get better. I do think that approach to zombies is really interesting, but I'd be more interested to see an approach in which zombies, while dangerous, yes, like any large predator, and technically dead, are treated the way most of us treat the dead. Namely, with respect and recognition that this was once a living person who loved and was loved. Once again I think Z Nation had the most interesting attempt at this, in that zombies became the natural state of evolution in an unnatural world and cohabitation became instinctive just as all animals learn to cohabitate when forced, though I don't think they really analyzed and planned it out all that well. Historically, zombies have represented everything from our fear of pestilence, to oppression and prejudice, to systemic violence, to fear of racial integration, to capitalism, to lack of agency, and the obvious blanket fear of death. But I think it would be interesting to read/watch a zombie story in which the zombies aren't the fear or downfall of humanity, but instead an opportunity to view our society as it is now from the outside and consider what parts of it we'd want to keep. That's the question I think all apocalyptic/post apocalyptic stories should inspire.

[canon-notcanon-warriorcats]

tell us more about your rewrite, specifically about the dotc part

I'M GLAD YOU ASKED

well technically the dotc part is like the least planned out part lol i don't know the characters nearly as well and have so little plans for it but i do have a few things including things that i JUST MADE UP IN THE PAST LIKE HOUR

-the tribe doesn't exist, the ancients go directly from the "lake" territories (there isn't a lake) to the forest territory

-they leave because there's been surging populations of foxes, badgers, birds of prey, stoats, and twolegs bringing loud sticks that smell like fire and their dogs as WELL as a few spots where they're building odd structures (the cabin in shadowclan territory, the abandoned twoleg nest in thunderclan territory, the farm, the little thunderpaths near shadowclan territory)

-their leader, an ancient, hairless, blind cat named Stargazer (Rock) tells them to get the fuck out, over half of their colony had either died or ran away already but he's staying there cause he's way too old he's like literally a skeleton with skin wrapped around it and like 23 years old or something, his only surviving kit, Half Moon, is their new leader but they should probably get a move on cause she's like 11

-stargazer goes into the tunnels for the night and supposedly goes far underground into a hollow where any other cat is afraid to go, over night there's a thunderstorm and a huge lightning strike hits a ginormous tree in the distance and though it somehow still stands it carries the smell of smoke to the colony, the next morning stargazer is no where to be found, not even leaving a trail, they decide to leave immediately

-quiet rain gets plucked off by an eagle while they're crossing through the mountains almost as soon as they decide to maybe stay there, clear sky is distraught

-half moon dies at highstones and everyone's like "shit what do we do now" clear sky thinks he should be leader but everyone tells him he's stupid, gray wing says they should vote on who's leader and shaded moss wins but tall shadow is close second

-something something mostly the same

-turtle tail leaves because gray wing is an idiot and she kind of wants to keep her options open, where she finds bumble and her kits and saves them from her abusive mate and they become girlfriends

-something something mostly the same, storm doesn't exist clear sky gets with star flower and she's thunderstar's mom, they also have a daughter and name her sky flower

-clear sky keeps being super territorial and murderous and joins up with a group of rogues to take over the entire territories because he's very unstable and wants to make sure he has more territory than he and his group could ever need, thunder just fucking leaves and comes back a couple times and finally permanently leaves

-unlike thunder, sky flower decides to take matters into her own hands instead of running away and making the problem worse and she kills her dad

-uncle gray wing says that that was wrong and everyone tells him to shut up also now those rogues want to take the territories for themselves and with teamwork the groups fend most of them off while also gaining some new members

[khaleesiofalicante]

OK I’M HERE! I READ IT! I’M LATE BUT IT DID IT! SERIOUSLY REGRETTING NOT READING IT EARLIER! FUCK SLEEP WHO NEEDS SLEEP!

I LOVE THE TWINS SO MUCH SHCDUJUHKFDUISVFDHYDEBCSJ

LEXI TELLING EVERYONE THAT SHE CAN TALK TO RAZIEL BESTIE YOU DOING GREAT!!!

“Lying is wrong!” Selena had told her sister.

“Yes, but cookies are delicious,” Lexi had pointed out, munching on them.

“Daddy!” Selena had said. “Tell her it’s wrong.”

“Lying is wrong!” Daddy had said, but she had barely heard a word since his mouth had been stuffed with cookies too.

LYING IS OKAY IF YOU GET COOKIES

She did not care much for jewellery, especially expensive ones. But Magnus had given this to her – and she didn’t want to take it off.

She combed her long hair and tied it into a high ponytail. If she was going shopping with Magnus, she had to look her best.

It was fine. There were worse ways to spend your tenth birthday. She got to spend it with Magnus. She was not going to complain about it.

AWWW SHE’S LITERALLY MAGNUS’ NO.1 FAN UHSDUCSDUYSDCFUYKSVCD

“Oh!” Selena had beamed. “Like Magnus! He always looks so magnificent!”

“Sure,” David had said, his ears pink in the cold. “That’s who I was thinking about.”

I don’t know much but I do know that his ears were not pink because of the cold and he was not thinking about Magnus.

Selena remembered wishing she caught the fever so Magnus could take care of her too.

Same- I MEAN WOULDN’T WE ALL??

ALSO, MAX STAYING WITH DAVID WHEN HE WAS SICK DWHYDYGUFEYUKGFYEUGFEWUYG

Oh, Jocelyn died.

Rip I guess?

OOOO THEY INVITED THE COHORT TO TALK ABOUT THIS STUFF BECAUSE SHADOWHUNTERS ARE DYING OF MUNDANE ILLNESSES

I say we kill them.

Selena had never felt anger like that before. She had wanted to drown that awful man in the lake she floated around in her dreams.

BESTIE SAME

“Lettuce?”

“Yes?”

“No screaming when I show you the gift,” Daddy said. “We have visitors at the institute.”

“Is it a sword?” Lexi asked.

“No,” Daddy replied.

“Then I won’t scream,” her twin shrugged at him.

AHUEDCHGUHFEWUIFUIRUI SHE’S SUCH A HERONDALE I LOVE-

PUPPY OH MY GOD IT’S A PUPPY!!!!!!!!

“IT’S A PUPPY! IT’S A PUPPY! OH MY GOD, IT’S A PUPPY! DAVID GOT US A PUPPY!”

Her twin had jumped – no, leaped – off the counter and dashed towards their father, who was holding a small grey puppy in his arms.

“I AM SO SORRY I TOLD YOU I DON’T WANT YOU, LITTLE FRIEND. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I WILL PROTECT YOU WITH MY TWENTY TOY SWORDS!”

“Lexi, stop screaming!” Mommy said. “You will wake everyone up.”

“EVERYONE WAKE UP AND COME MEET MY PUPPY!” Lexi screamed even louder.

I LOVE HER SO MUCH DHJBSDCHJBFSJSFEDSF

She drew the unlock rune on the door the way her daddy did on his office door and sneaked into the Consul’s office.

I’m not even surprised anymore-

AWW, SELENA GOING THERE TO LOOK AT THE MURAL OF IDRIS. YOU’LL GO THERE ONE DAY BESTIE I PROMISE

ANJALI IS HERE Y’ALL!!!!!!!

Anjali walked over to her father’s desk, sat down on the chair, and put her feet on the table.

The Inquisitor’s table.

Only she could get away with something like that.

THERE’S MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER Y’ALL

EVEN ALEC IS WARY OF HER UHJSDVCUHSVDUUHSVUHSUIVGRVSR

Selena loved Idris with all her heart. But she knew Idris was not a perfect place.

Any place that was mean to Magnus could never be perfect.

EXACTLY

“Well, it turned out well for me,” Anjali winked. “Now when he gives me shit for my ‘bad judgement’ I just throw his dating history in his face. Dated Zara Dearborn? Broke up with Cristina Rosales? Yikes. Could not be me.”

BESTIE YES! HOW CAN DIEGO JUDGE PEOPLE’S JUDGEMENT WHEN HIS DATING HISTORY LOOKS LIKE THAT???

“Just because he looks like a movie star, it doesn’t mean everything should be handed to him,” Anjali answered, rolling her eyes. “Entitled piece of shit.”

You know I kinda ship them-

“Dang, girl. No practice swords for you, huh. You just straight up went for the mortal sword. I like your style.”

“Uncle Kit!” Selena yelled and ran towards him.

KIT KIT KIT KIT KIT KIT KIT KIT HISDUIDEUYKFSFUS7IKKIYGVFSDLY7TKGVFEDYTGFECYGU

ASH OMG ASH IS HERE TOO!!!!

"some man called Anus" BYE-

PARABATAI KIT AND ASH OMG

The whole pre-meeting prep is kinda giving me pre-wedding vibes idk how to explain but the whole rush and organizing that day and making calls and stuff.

“Ash was very beautiful. After Magnus of course” “She liked Aunt Izzy best. After Magnus of course,” GIRL HAS HER PRIORITIES STRAIGHT

"How bad can the cohort be?" well you see-

“Is that the cohort?” Selena asked, her voice a whisper.

“No, that’s a bitch.”

Yup. that’s accurate

“Is he here?”

“Whom?” Daddy asked.

“Alec Lightwood,” the woman asked.

“You mean the Consul?” Daddy asked.

“I meant Alec.”

“The Consul?”

“Alec!”

“Who also happens to be the Consul?”

“Fine, yes, the Consul!” the woman sounded impatient. “Is he here yet?”

It’s Lightwood-Bane bitch

AWWW SELENA DESCRIBING ALEC AS REGAL THAT’S SO CUTE

And accurate-

IT’S THE SAME BLUE AGAIN

Selena noticed her father was looking very emotional. She couldn’t blame him.

“My liege,” Daddy bowed deeply.

“Cut it out,” the Consul smacked him. “What’s the status?”

Yup, that’s them. Also same Jace.Same.

“I always expected the offspring of these two to be like…”

“Like what?” Daddy demanded.

At that moment, Lexi ran past the hall, yelling and screaming as she carried a toy sword in one hand and Dorian Gray in another.

“MAKE WAY FOR ALEXANDRA THE GREAT AND HER LOYAL COMPANION DORIAN GRAY! CHRISTOPHER! BRING ME MY OTHER NINETEEN SWORDS! WE MUST SET FIRE TO THE EVIL EMPEROR AND SAVE THE PRINCESS!”

“Like that,” Magnus chuckled.

Will in the afterlife, wiping tears: A true Herondale.

“I hope so too, Magnus,” Selena said shyly.

The Consul frowned at that. “It’s Uncle Magnus to you.”

Selena ignored that. The Consul was not the boss of her.

Well, technically he was the boss of everyone. But still!

UHNJCSDUHUSDHSVUDVUD SELENA

Do not remind me. I would like to remain blissfully unaware that not all of them are mortal :D

The Consul grumbled and turned to Mommy. “You were right to name her Fairchild. She is going to be a pain in my ass.”

“Hey!” Daddy covered Selena's ears again. “It’s like you guys didn't get my monthly newsletter on language modification!”

“No one here reads your newsletter, Jace,” Aunt Izzy rolled her eyes.

"I do," the Consul put up his hand.

Of course, you do Alec. I can totally see the LBAF gang defying Alec left and right UHKGXUYCSUYGCSYCFSED

“Izzy, how many times!” the Consul grumbled. “No placing bets on the children. Besides, everyone knows it’s going to be Alexandra.”

“Hey!” her parents said at the same time.

“What are y’all doing here?” Lexi came running then, cause her superpower was to magically appear whenever someone was talking about her. “We have shit to do! Come on!”

“Not helping, Lettuce!” Daddy shook his head. “Clary, take the lead.”

Of course, it’s gonna be Lexi.

FHUJCSDUHSDUHJ SELENA NOT UNDERSTANDING THE INNUENDO MAGNUS MADE LMAO NOT IN FRONT OF THE KIDS

“My name is Alexander Lightwood-Bane. I’m the Consul of the Clave. You will talk to me with respect.”

Selena saw Zara flinch at that. It was satisfying to watch.

Zara, I will gladly feed you to sharks stfu

“You sound a little jealous,” Zara grinned. “If you want to come back, we can arrange that. You could leave that good for nothing husband of yours and-”

“Zara, I swear by the angel,” Aunt Izzy said through gritted teeth. “Insult my husband again and see what happens.”

ISABELLE YES! I NEED MORE SIZZY WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH OF THESE TWO

SHE DID NOT JUST INSULT MAX AND RAFE FUCK YOU BITCH

OH, NOW SHE INSULTED THE TWINS. I WILL DROWN YOU DO NOT TEST ME

“They called me a freak too,” her mother spoke. “Insult our children again and I will show you what freaks can do.”

YES CLARY

Max and David were really close. Like Daddy and Uncle Alec.

Maybe even closer. Like Uncle Alec and Magnus - cause one of them was a warlock! And they always gave each other dopey looks.

HJBASYUGJCESDYUTGVCSDUTVSDT6U7VSDC THIS! (I think they get together because of the snippet but if they don’t-)

The moment Magnus left, Max snatched the credit card and whistled. “Y’all, Christmas came early.”

“We can’t just buy anything, Max,” Rafe rolled his eyes. “Dad will be pissed when he finds out.”

“Maybe we should buy little things we can hide,” Max winked. “Little…but expensive things.”

“Oh, like diamond rings?” Lexi gleamed.

“What would you even do with diamond rings?” Selena demanded.

“Sell them in the black market in exchange for cash,” Lexi replied.

“By the angel, Lex,” Rafe chuckled. “I'm gonna keep both my eyes on you.”

LEXI YES OMG YES YES YES YES

“Your demands are unacceptable,” Rafe said, imitating his father. “How about ice-cream?”

“I accept your counter proposal,” Lexi nodded, imitating Daddy. “Let’s unleash hell in Baskin-Robbins.”

BASKIN ROBBINS BOUTA BE RAIDED BY 4 CHAOTIC CHILDREN LET’S GO

Holy fuck she has children. Who’s the poor father?

“These are my sisters Saraquel and Remiel and Michael,” the boy pointed at the girls, completely ignoring Rafe’s comment. “Our parents named us after the archangels.”

“And they called us angel freaks?” Lexi muttered incredulously.

“I know, Lexi. Fancy names indeed,” Max nodded. “But kinda hard to pronounce to be honest.”

A very genuine what the fuck

“My name is Alexandra James Herondale,” Lexi said, her voice steady. “And I am named after the greatest Consul and dopest archer of all time. He is a better man than any of your dumb archangels.”

YES LEXI YOU GO, GIRL

“Idris is lame,” Max snorted now. “You don’t even have internet.”

Lexi shuddered at that.

The reason I would never want to live in Idris

THE WAY SELENA WAS READY TO BEAT THE GUY UP WHEN HE INSULTED MAGNUS AND HOW MAX GOT ANGRY WHEN HE INSULTED DAVID

SELENA’S 10 BITCH FUCK YOU

“Holy shit!” one of the girls said. “That was kinda cool. Is that a twin thing?”

“It’s a common sense thing,” Lexi rolled her eyes. “Duck!”

People are idiots

But Selena tried not to think about the other girl. It didn’t matter whose daughter Michael was – it only mattered whose daughter Selena was.

And she was the daughter of Clary Fairchild and Jace Herondale.

She was not going to run.

GIRL YES

Y’ALL DON'T GET KILLED

AYY MAGNUS IS HERE THEY’RE ALL GONNA BE OK NOW

“It’s warlock magic,” the boy whispered – but not too quietly. “It’s demonic.”

Some of the ichor from the demons fell right on the boy’s head.

“Oops,” Magnus said. “Warlock magic is also a little clumsy.”

HVBCDSHJCSDYCDYJGCD THE BOY DESERVED IT!!!!!

“Manuel has an important meeting,” Zara rolled her eyes. “I’m stuck babysitting them.”

“It’s not babysitting when you do it!” Daddy said incredulously. “You’re their mother. It’s called parenting.”

GODDAMIT WOMAN DON'T HAVE CHILDREN IF YOU CAN’T TAKE CARE OF THEM

“He called David a bastard,” Lexi said.

“He did what?” her mother demanded.

“And he called Max a freak,” Selena said.

“He did what?” the Consul demanded.

“And he flirted with Selena,” Rafe made a face.

“HE DID WHAT?” Daddy looked murderous.

NAH BECAUSE WE’RE ALL DOWNRIGHT READY TO KILL THIS BITCH

ALSO, SELENA WAS SO RIGHT TO BREAK THE BOY’S NOSE.

“Look at them! Cahooting in demonic languages,” Zara sniffed.

“It’s Spanish,” Aunt Izzy said incredulously. “Your husband speaks it too!”

Zara you dumb shit-

That part where Magnus was checking up on all of them and seeing if they’re ok and the kids looked like they had never seen anything like that-

They deserve better. GODDAMN IT JULIAN BLACKTHORN MANAGED TO BE A BETTER PARENT 12

Her father held Selena’s hand in his. “You better raise your son to respect women, Zara – Because I’m raising my daughters to break noses.”

YES YES YES YES

He knelt down next to her and put a strand of hair behind her ear. “Can I tell you a secret, cupcake?”

Selena nodded. She loved secrets.

“People call me a freak too,” Magnus winked.

“You?” Selena gasped.

“Yes,” he nodded. “If people call you a freak, it means you are doing something different. Something bold. Something small minds will never be able to think of. So, it’s not an insult. Don’t forget that.”

YES THIS

AWWW THE LITTLE GIRL GAVE SELENA HER NECKLACE.

“Some people don’t like women in power.”

“Why not?”

“Because women get shit done.”

Selena giggled at that. “You said a bad word.”

“It’s not bad. Say it with me, Selena,” her mother said gently. “Women get shit done.”

YES WE GET SHIT DONE

“Are you saying I shouldn’t be afraid?” Selena asked. “I should be strong?”

“I'm saying you should be anything you want to be,” her mother kissed her head. “You can be brave like Izzy. You can be fearless like Emma. You can be kind like Cristina. You can be cool like Dru. You can be sensible like Maia. You can be confident like Lily. You can be smart like Tessa. You can be fierce like Diana. You can be geeky like me.”

Her mother held her face closely. “You get to decide what kind of woman you want to be. I want you to remember that - because there is no wrong way to be a woman.”

THIS! WE NEED TO HEAR THIS MORE OFTEN!

“The next time someone points fingers at you because you are a woman, go ahead and break them.”

DO IT

This was her mother.

Clary Fairchild. One of the most powerful shadowhunters.

Selena sometimes forgot that. Sometimes you forget your mom is so much more than your mom.

There is a person underneath that – someone full of dreams and hopes and talents you could never imagine.

SHE’S LITERALLY SO POWERFUL AND AMAZING IF I SEE ONE MORE PERSON HATE ON HER I'M GONNA KILL THEM

THE IDRIS VISION EDYUGYFEUGYUKGFEWUYTGFEWUTFEW7FE

Rafe was going to be their leader. He would be Selena’s Consul. She knew it.

Gigi was going to be just like Aunt Izzy. An amazing inventor. A chaos to be reckoned with.

Lexi was going to be the best fighter in the whole world. She would fly above everyone and everything.

And David and Max…Well, they seemed very happy with each other. Selena supposed that was enough. Like Uncle Alec and Magnus. To find something you can be happy with no matter what. Because sometimes there was no greater purpose than love.

And Selena….She knew exactly what she was going to do.

She was going to lead all of them back to Idris.

Explain why I'm crying reading this. I love them all so much. They mean so much to me already. SELENA ONE DAY YOU’RE GONNA LEAD THEM ALL BACK TO IDRIS I KNOW YOU WILL

This chapter was beautiful. I'm gonna be in a corner crying in case someone needs me. See ya on Friday!! (well technically it’ll be Saturday for me since for me the updates come after midnight)

THIS GAVE ME LIFE. LIFE, YA HEAR ME?

Also my favorite comment (which I might print on something) - GODDAMIT WOMAN DON'T HAVE CHILDREN IF YOU CAN’T TAKE CARE OF THEM

Also this made me laugh out loud so hard >> - GODDAMN IT JULIAN BLACKTHORN MANAGED TO BE A BETTER PARENT 12

[twomanyideas]

Somewhere Only We Know

A Collaboration by @mdelpin and @oryu404​

Gratsu Weekend 2021 Prompt: Protect Pairing(s): Gray x Natsu, Ultear & Gray

And if you have a minute, why don't we go Talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything So why don't we go somewhere only we know? Somewhere only we know

-Somewhere Only We Know by Keane

AO3

Summary: Their combined might hadn’t been enough to take down Zeref, and the one thing Gray might have been able to do to stop him was the one thing he’d promised Natsu he’d never do.

He should have done it anyway.

If he had, they would never have been captured.

0-0

It was Gray’s obsession with fulfilling his promise to his father that had brought him to Alvarez. He’d wanted to find Zeref, and that goddamned book of E.N.D. It had been a stupid idea; he realized that now. But he’d been grieving, and he’d never expected Natsu to track him down.

He’d never expected a lot of things.

Natsu had tried to convince him to return home, but Gray had been too stubborn to listen, and he’d recognized that despite his protests, Natsu had wanted to fight Zeref as well. After all, there’d never been an enemy they couldn’t defeat once they put their shit aside and set their minds to it, and if they died trying- well, he doubted either of them would regret it.

They’d decided they would fight together to make that bastard pay for everything he’d done. For the lives he and his followers had taken with his magic, for the demons he’d created, who had caused so much suffering and destruction. And in doing so, they would protect their Fairy Tail family and prevent any additional bloodshed.

Their combined might hadn’t been enough to take down Zeref, and the one thing Gray might have been able to do to stop him was the one thing he’d promised Natsu he’d never do.

He should have done it anyway.

If he had, they would never have been captured.

He would never have learned who Natsu was.

Never would have said those hateful words he didn’t mean.

Never would have seen the light fade from Natsu’s eyes as he accepted the truth of it.

Gray had let his rage consume him at Zeref’s revelations, and he’d hurt the one person he’d always loved. He’d really fucked up this time.

They were all but helpless now. Their minds and bodies locked by Invel’s spell, their magic contained by sealing cuffs. No way to struggle, nothing to do but live inside their heads while they waited to see what would happen to them.

How were they going to make it out of this one when no one knew where they were?

It couldn’t end like this, not after everything they’d been through together. There had to be a way out, they just needed to figure out what that was, and soon. But first, Gray needed to make Natsu listen to him so that he could take his words back and beg for his forgiveness.

But the words wouldn’t come, no matter how much he tried.

Hours passed in uneasy silence until a lacrima lit up the inside of their cell, broadcasting its feed in vivid color and sound. The screen showed other prisoners, robbed of their dignity and forced to perform sexual acts. They seemed barely human. Used, abused, and reduced to nothing but toys.

It didn’t matter how much Gray tried to look away or willed his eyes closed; they remained riveted to that screen, even as the sounds and images made his stomach wrangle up in disgust.

Soon that would be them.

The message was obvious: their punishment had yet to begin.

Gray didn’t much care what happened to him, but the thought of anyone but him touching Natsu that way was enough to make his blood boil. They belonged to each other and no one else. That was how it had always been.

After what seemed like forever, the lacrima finally turned off, revealing Natsu’s strangled cries as he tried to break through the collar using brute force.

“Stop it!” Gray pleaded, “You’re only hurting yourself.”

Natsu stopped his efforts, but he still refused to look at him.

Guilt crushed Gray even more than the thought of what the future had in store for them. All these years had passed, and he hadn’t learned a goddamn thing. Just like when he’d gone after Deliora as a child, convinced that he was strong enough to defeat him, he had underestimated his enemy’s power. Ur had paid the price then, and now both he and Natsu would suffer a fate worse than death for his folly.

“This is all my fault,” Gray strained against the spell, stretching his arm enough so that his fingers grazed Natsu’s hand. “I won’t let them touch you.”

He stopped short of making a promise, but he could feel his eyes burn with rage at his impotence.

“Maybe, uhm... maybe if I agree to join him, Zeref will let you go.”

Natsu had finally spoken, but his words were not what Gray had wanted to hear. What was the idiot thinking? Like he’d ever let that happen.

Gray couldn't care less that Zeref had been waiting for Natsu for hundreds of years, or that it had been his brotherly love that had brought Natsu back to life. His heart might have been in the right place once, but it had become corrupted over the years as his mind deteriorated. A life by Zeref’s side would be a nightmare for Natsu, forced to become the demon that Igneel had tried so hard to protect him from. Gray would never allow that outcome, certainly not for his sake.

“No! Besides, we both know I’d never leave without you.”

“Then you’re an idiot.” Natsu declared, turning away to stare at the wall. “Because there’s nothing here worth saving.”

“Don’t you dare say that! You know I didn’t mean any of the shit I said.”

“No. You were right. I’m E.N.D, Gray. A Book of Zeref, no different from Deliora or Mard Geer. You even came here to kill me.“

Gray sighed, realizing there was no easy fix to what he’d done. It was going to take them a long time to get through this. Time they didn’t have.

“None of that matters now. You saw that lacrima. Who knows how long we’ll be able to stay us. I don’t want to waste any of it arguing about things we can’t do anything about.”

“I’m sorry.”

Gray could hear the tremble in Natsu’s voice and it broke his heart. Why was this happening now?

“You don’t have to apologize to me, Natsu. None of this is your fault, it’s his. All you’ve ever done is help others.”

He grabbed Natsu’s hand in his and pulled with all his might until he could wrap his arms around his boyfriend, the chain from their collars dangling between them. “I’m so sorry I got you into this,” Gray murmured into Natsu’s ear as he ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair.

“Sealing cuffs didn’t work on those Tartaros demons since they used curses. Do you feel anything like that at all? Anything that can help break your collar?”

Natsu shook his head, looking defeated for the first time since Gray had known him.

“Oh well, it was worth a shot,” Gray shrugged, acting like he wasn’t giving the matter any importance, for Natsu’s sake.

“Just promise me you won’t do what you said before. Whatever happens, I want to stay with you.”

“I don’t want... that to happen to you.”

“I don't want that to happen to you, either.”

They lay down on one of the cots in their cell, clinging to each other tightly. Gray refused to let go, fully aware that things could change at any moment. He reveled in Natsu’s warmth, letting his fingers travel Natsu’s skin, trying to soothe away the hurt his words had caused. Over and over, Gray reminded Natsu of how good he was, how much he loved him, and how he’d rather die than live without him. But Natsu remained eerily silent. It worried him.

Gray!

Gray heard a voice calling out to him, waking him up from the little sleep he’d managed, but it was too faint for him to recognize who it belonged to. Natsu was still snuggled up against him as he slept. Listening to his snores made Gray smile. He could almost pretend they were back home, their capture nothing more than a nightmare he’d finally woken from.

He opened his eyes to find that although nothing had changed in their cell, that voice still called out to him. It felt closer this time.

Gray!

Was that Ultear? How?

“Ultear?” He called out to her, even though he realized there was no way she could be there.

But against all of his expectations, Ultear appeared before him a moment later, looking as young as she had at Akane Beach months earlier.

“Good, you heard me. I had a hard time locking on to you.”

“How did you- I saw you, you were...”

“Old?” Ultear laughed, “I was. I cast a spell during the Dragon King Festival, thinking I could turn back time and fix everything, but it didn’t quite turn out that way. Even though it used up all my life force, I could only get one minute back.”

“You saved me.”

“Yes, and thanks to that I can do this now.”

“You mean you can get us out of here?”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m not really here, not in the way you think. I exist only as a concept within a time distortion. I can’t get you out, but I can offer you an escape.”

“You and Natsu, you’ve both died and were brought back to life through magical interference. Because of that, you’re technically living outside of time.”

“Ultear?” Natsu sat up, rubbing his eyes, “Why can’t I smell you?”

Ultear moved closer until Gray thought she was going to touch the bars of their cell. Her expression became apologetic when her body went straight through them.

“Not now, Natsu,” Gray peered at Ultear, “You said you can offer us an escape, what did you mean?”

“I can take your souls with me. You would escape the horrible future that awaits you and exist as I do, and you’d be together.”

“So we’d die?” Natsu frowned.

“Not exactly,” Ultear shook her head. “Your souls would pass on, leaving your bodies behind. They’ll still suffer your fate, but you won't experience any of it. You must decide quickly, they’ll come for you in about one minute.”

“I don’t care if we die, we both have once already,” Gray said resolutely, his mind inevitably going back to the images of molestation on the lacrima, once again thinking that would soon be their daily fare. “At least this way, we can stay together. Or would you rather live out your remaining days as a slave for those sick perverts?”

“Of course not! I just wanted to underst- wait a minute... When the hell did you die?”

“Boys!” Ultear snapped, her tone reminding Gray of Ur whenever she tried to break up fights between him and Lyon.

He’d never see him again, or Erza, or any of their other friends. But odds were they wouldn’t have, anyway. From the sad look on Natsu’s face, Gray could tell he was having similar thoughts.

“What do you say, Flame Brain? You ready to spend eternity with me?”

“Yeah, it wasn’t like I could get rid of you, anyway,” Natsu joked weakly, a small smile breaking through his grief.

The sound of footsteps approaching their cell grew louder, and Gray snuck in one last kiss.

“Grab hold of my hands and don’t let go of each other,” Ultear offered each of them a hand and they grabbed on, clasping each other’s hands tightly. There was no pain, although they felt a slight tearing sensation when their souls separated from their bodies and entered the time dimension.

Neither of them looked back.

It saddened Gray that Ultear had needed to come to his rescue once again, but he was grateful. At least this time, no one had died to save him.

They had earned that much.

Ultear tried to explain the rules of the time dimension to them, but they didn’t really get them. It was hard to understand what was real, but they didn’t worry about it much. It was just somewhere only they knew. A place that existed just for them, where they could bicker, laugh, and love each other for as long as time existed.

Sometimes Gray worried that Ultear’s rescue had all been a dream, a place he escaped to to avoid what was happening to his and Natsu’s bodies. He thought if that were true; it was a kindness he shouldn't question.

Either way, it didn’t matter. They had their magic, and they had each other. That was all they could ever ask for.

They discovered they could visit just about any place they remembered, but their favorite spot was still the river by the old Fairy Tail building. It held so many memories for them, and they spent countless days sparring and coming up with endless competitions. The dumber the better.

[mamichigo]

Title: picture frame

Pairing: Dazai/Atsushi

Rating: G

Word count: 1,7k

Tags: Fluff, Domestic, Established Relationship, Writer Dazai, Photographer Atsushi

Summary: "Your tired smiles, your warm eyes. I collect all the important parts of you, protected by picture frames."

Notes: This is my gift for @katsuriya! (Katsu ily). Written for @dazatsu-exchange.

*

"Can't you guys just do whatever you want? It's not like I would know anything about organizing events like this. Yeah, I know I signed up for it but— Kunikida-kun, this is torture! You're bullying your author! I'm gonna die of a heart attack… Yes, yes, I'll do it, geez."

Dazai had been on the phone with his editor for the better part of the last two hours. Atsushi watched him pace around the low table of the living room. If it were possible, he would've digged holes with the force of his footsteps alone. After that last sentence, Dazai cycled through a series of empty "uh huh", "yes", "alright", until he finally put the phone down with a sigh.

"Atsushi-kun…" Dazai whined. He slumped, then crouched, then finally lied down with his face to the floor. "This is unbearable."

"Is Kunikida-san being strict as usual?"

"As usual? It's much worse than that!" Dazai slapped the floor weakly. "Just because it's almost New Year, it shouldn't affect my schedule. But I have the deal with the manga department now, and I'm technically the co-author, plus they can't get anything through without my approval. I've been pulled into their holiday season events, it's awful."

Atsushi, feeling sympathy for the clearly overworked author, padded his way and joined Dazai on the floor. He sat down on his knees and patted Dazai's head gently.

"Thank you for your hard work."

Dazai gurgled some sound that Atsushi couldn't decipher the meaning of, and made no further attempt to communicate. Atsushi continued to play with Dazai's hair until he had wallowed long enough to feel ready to roll over and look up at Atsushi. There were clear dark circles under his eyes.

"This is what happens when you actually do your work," Dazai whispered mutinously.

Atsushi laughed and threatened to let his editor know he said that. Dazai, betrayed, pinched Atsushi's thigh. Because Atsushi was a good person and he loved his partner very much, he ignored the sting and leaned down to kiss Dazai's cheek.

"Would you let me do a photoshoot with you?" Atsushi asked.

Dazai lolled his head to nuzzle against Atsushi's knee. He looked up at Atsushi questioningly. "Right now?"

"Only if you want to," Atsushi reassured. "Nothing fancy, you don't even need to change clothes. I think it'd be a nice distraction."

Dazai hummed; Atsushi felt the vibrations up his leg. He squirmed a little.

"If it is your desire, then it is also mine, there's no request I would refuse except for those that cause you harm," Dazai said in a low voice. It sounded like a quote, maybe from something he was working with. Though, it could just as easily be something he came up with on the spot. It was hard to tell, with Dazai.

"You're really too much," Atsushi admonished.

Dazai laughed, tired but carefree. "If you insist, then, in normal terms that's a yes."

"Let me get my camera."

Atsushi got up to do that and changed the lens to one of his best ones. Besides that, Atsushi didn't bother with any other equipment, though the lights and reflectors that seemed to be in Dazai's place more than his own were readily available. These pictures were just for himself, so he would work with whatever lighting there was.

(There was a special allure to Dazai that couldn't be captured quite right in artificial light.)

Dazai was still in the same spot when Atsushi came back, drawing invisible patterns with his index finger and whispering to himself.

Atsushi waited until he stopped to ask, "New idea?"

"A flash of inspiration that might save me from my writer's block in the future."

"That's some powerful inspiration."

Dazai raised his hand to Atsushi, who helped him up by the arm. Dazai rose in a smooth arc, directly into Atsushi's embrace. Atsushi poked him the ribs and pushed him away.

"I can't take your picture with you clinging to me like that."

"Ah, love is such a fickle and cruel thing," Dazai said. Despite his words, he stole a kiss as soon as Atsushi's attention flickered to his camera. "What do you have in mind this time?"

"Something for the New Years sounds fitting."

Atsushi explained what he had imagined, and Dazai, knowing the layout of his own house much better than Atsushi, suggested the locations that would be most fitting for the setting. It was a good thing that Dazai already wore a kimono as his default outfit, with the addition of his most comfortable haori and a fortune charm that he held in his calloused right hand, it made for enough of a nice image to go with the theme. Atsushi held back from saying anything when Dazai held the charm to his lips in an almost kiss, his eyelashes lowered delicately.

Not for the first time, Atsushi was impressed by the sheer size of Dazai's house. Every time they did one of these photoshoots, Atsushi felt the house became warmer; all the corners that were too empty, too sparse were filled with movement. The ghosts lingered less like this.

For the final picture, Atsushi directed Dazai back to the low table. Thankfully, the sliding door facing the garden let in enough light to capture Dazai in the gray hues of winter with his face half illuminated by it. It made for a pretty picture, even if Dazai ruined the atmosphere by biting into a mandarin like he would an apple. Atsushi's eyebrow twitched.

"Atsushi-kun, this isn't even an actual kotatsu," Dazai complained as he flopped down while Atsushi checked the last series of pictures. "This entire photoshoot is a sham."

Atsushi paused to raise his eyebrows at Dazai. He looked pointedly at the low table. "So now you admit it's not a kotatsu?"

"Well, it has the table and the warm blanket over it. It's close enough, right?" Dazai patted the tabletop. "This does the job nicely. Why would I buy a new one just for the heater?"

"You could just buy a heater by itself."

"Irrelevant."

"You're just a cheapskate."

Dazai snorted inelegantly. In this position, lying as he was, his hair fell over his eyes, half obscuring them. Both his arms were held above his head, and the sleeves of his kimono slid down to reveal rolls of bandages; the dip went low enough that Atsushi wondered if he would see a grimplss of naked skin, if he tilted his head just right. As if catching on to his thoughts, Dazai watched him like a hawk, his eyes half-lidded. There was a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Atsushi made a gesture for Dazai not to move, and raised his camera to capture that expression. As he stared at the resulting picture, Atsushi thought that, out of all the other pictures, this was the one he specially wouldn't show to anyone.

"Atsushi-kun, you're getting some sort of impure thought, aren't you?" Dazai teased.

Atsushi coughed lightly. "I'm not."

"You always get this guilty look when you do it, just so you know," he helpfully informed.

Atsushi quickly turned his head. "It's just your impression."

Dazai wormed his way to Atsushi, shuffling about on his elbows. Atsushi finally relaxed from the awkward pose he had forced his legs into to get the frame he'd wished for. As soon as Atsushi let go of the camera, Dazai reached for his hand.

"Hm." Dazai poked each of Atsushi's fingers with his own. "Did that make you feel better?"

Arsushi blinked in confusion. "I'm the one who should be asking you that."

"You really shouldn't!"

"I thought you were doing this to help you forget all the publishing stress?"

Dazai gave him an indulgent smile. He let go of Atsushi's hand to reach for his camera, hanging from Atsushi's neck. Atsushi, even though still confused, lowered his head so Dazai could remove the camera. He set it aside a safe distance away from them, and pulled Atsushi down so they were in pile on the floor. Dazai wrapped an arm around Atsushi's waist.

"You get so focused on others you don't even notice your own stress, do you? It's not the worst coping mechanism, but it does make you quite oblivious your own feelings." Dazai let his words sink in before adding, "It's okay if you're not doing your best."

Atsushi inhaled carefully. Dazai's orange-like scent clung to his lungs. He relaxed onto Dazai's body.

"I dislike winter," Atsushi confessed. "It makes me think of being cold and hungry. I… I feel a lot better when I don't have to think about it."

Dazai tightened his grip. "Alright. Then I'm glad to be a distraction." He paused. "Ohhh, maybe I should start writing poems. My specialty is prose first and foremost, but I'm sure I could pull it off. I'd give you a bunch of lovesick poems, and then you'd be too preoccupied being completely, utterly in love with me."

"I'm already completely, utterly in love with you, Dazai-san."

"Then completely, utterly, ultra in love with me."

"I'm pretty sure you just want an excuse to procrastinate your new manuscript."

Arsushi couldn't see it, but he just knew Dazai was grinning. "Just a little bit. Ah, but I'm serious. You always look at peace when you take pictures of me—does wonder for my ego, by the way—, so I'm glad to be your model when you need it."

"That's because…" Atsushi took a moment to compose his words in a way that would make sense. "Usually you take pictures to feel nostalgic about the past, knowing that moment will never come back. When I take your picture, it's more like proof."

"Proof of what?"

"That I still love you, just like I loved you then. Just like I'll love you tomorrow. I think the stability of it gives me comfort when everything else is hectic."

Silence.

"Dazai-san?"

Atsushi pushed himself to his elbows. Dazai was quietly glaring at him, his face pink. Atsushi was stunned. He tried to reach for his camera, but Dazai gripped both his wrists.

"I can't handle you sometimes," Dazai managed to croak out. "I'm going to make a character who is pretty much you, and pair him with a self-insert, then have a tragic, dramatic love story for them. Don't test me."

Atsushi giggled. "Don't threaten me just because you're shy!"

"Atsushi-kun, I don't have a single shy bone in my body, take that back!"

Atsushi just watched with fondness as Dazai went on a tirade on all the ridiculous antics he would put his characters through. Atsushi chose not to let him know his heartbeat was frantic in his chest.

I love you, it wanted to say. I love you and you're wonderful.