#and i have anxiety bc the tism

[yikesforever]

Currently I'd rather die then continue to be in this daily pain so pls I dare someone to tell me just suck it up one more time.

[butt-puncher]

I wish that I was more

[audiovisualrecall]

Last night my mom was like okay tomorrow let's spend the day looking into the state health insurance stuff together and I was like okay great! I'll enroll in the work one and we will see if the state options are any good. I Can dream about doing The Artist Thing and not just continue to try to do the Normal (aka Neurotypical) Thing of a normal Job when my brain isn't good at that and it leads to embarrassing meltdowns and lots of stress for me.

And today.... she apparently asked dad to start working on it with me but I didn't come down for breakfast till 11 at which pt he started working on the easel he's actually decided to Make me for my birthday gift (crazy man! Looks at the ones in stores and looks at plans and decides he can do better and just goes and starts!), and he didn't mention anything to me before that, and she was at services this morning and then got some groceries and got home at like almost 1, had a snack? Lunch? And was like I'm gonna just sit down for a bit and then we can do that, but I started reading and just realized it's almost 2 so went to talk to her and she's napping. So. Idefk. I'm disappointed.

[bittwitchy]

ive been five seconds away from a breakdown every second since the 26th and honestly im gonna keep being five seconds from another breakdown until at least saturday

[femmeboyhooters]

This morning i realized i am in fact still very much autistic

[kotaka-kun]

ive tried rolechat and emerald-whatever, the alleged omegle alternatives now and. im still sad. theyre weird and different and my 'tism doesnt like that... maybe its just my anxiety but goddamn im terrified that this is the end of fandom rps as we know it.

like.

the anonymity and the ability to disconnect without fearing repercussions was what made omegle the perfect place for ppl like me who just needed to disconnect sometimes bc the vibes were off or just cause i wasnt feeling an rp.

these other sites -- while im sure are just trying to hold users accountable -- have taken that safety and reassurance away.

and idk how to deal with it to be quite honest.

[mynameisnotsoda]

I'm probably gonna be yelling into the void but here's my refs of my favorite burs !!!! I would say bursonas but one of them is literally just my au,,,, can you tell which one it is,,

Anyway here's some hcs and stuff it's gonna be a long post LMAO I'm just copying all this stuff from Instagram cause I practically live on that shit ass app

Simpbur

He LOVES Hatsune Miku.. like LOVE LOVES HER. He owns so much fuckin merch it's actually insane. But he has never once in his life listened to vocaloid and probably never will. Hes just in love with Miku LMAO

He's aromantic bc I said so !!!!! But he doesn't know that, he hasn't really figured it out and he confuses his obsession with love.

Him and Jared actually used to be friends back when they were like middle schoolers. But then Jared got "hot and cool" and he kinda drifted away from Simp. Mostly cause Simp was SO FUCKING JEALOUS!!!!! and it was obvious too. Imagine how devastated he was when egirl started dating his old friend lmaooo what a loser

Him and e-girl started dating when they were 17, both of them were in pretty bad places in their lives so they just,,, clung onto each other. Both of them were codependent but Simp was significantly worse with his codependency. Adrianne (my name for e-girl) was the one who broke it off when they were both in their early 20s

His stupid little cat beanie is his comfort item !!!! He wears it ALL THE TIME and hates having to take it off, although he would never go out in public with it. He's got some issues with presenting the way he wants to in public so he literally just goes out in his work uniform regardless if he's working or not

Grabs him and aggressively shakes him around !!! Hes autistic (I'm autistic I can give him the tism) his special interests are anime and video games :33

He's definitely not cishet but he tries SOOO hard to present as such (shout-out to @starrixle for that hc ive adopted it for my version of simp)

Studentbur

He's bi but heavily in denial like DEEP DEEP in denial

He HATES being tall !!! He wishes he was shorter because his height makes him stand out a lot and that's the LAST thing he wants

He prays literally every night before bed. Mostly asking for forgiveness (which he shouldnt have to ask for) because he thinks he's a horrible person just for being himself

He CLINGS onto Charlie, they're not like super close friends or anything but he LOVES Charlie. He looks up to Charlie a lot and WISHES he had his confidence and sense of self :')

He doesn't like Tommy, he thinks Tommy's too loud and disrespectful and hates how much attention he attracts. So he tends to just avoid him even if they're in the same classes

He absolutely regrets smoking with Bill and Ranboo but he also feels INCREDIBLY GUILTY for wanting to do it again (because he actually had fun and was able to relax for a moment)

He LOVES emo rock, indie, modern rock and other similar genres. His parents are really strict so he has to listen to his music in secret and ALWAYS has his earbuds on him, its a comfort item too. His three favorite bands are MCR, Ghost and Radiohead :]

The only game he was ever allowed to play was and still is Minecraft. He LOVES Minecraft but at the same time he desperately wishes to be able to play other games

He fucking LOVES GOING TO PUBLIC SCHOOL !!!!! he used to be in a Christian school but it gave him so much anxiety he was physically ill every single day and he just couldn't take it anymore!!!! To his surprise his parents actually agreed to let him go to public school during his sophomore year and he's been there ever since (now hes a senior)

Charlie is really his only friend, he's tried talking to other kids but he's horribly awkward and socially inept. Charlie basically adopted him and takes care of him like a brother !!!! Even if they're not super close Charlie's always looking out for him and tries to include him with his friends even tho Stu declines most the time :((

Keith Smith

HIS WIFE LEFT HIM AND TOOK THE KIDS TOO 😭😭😭 he's still trying to find her but he's slowly losing hope and he's really considering just giving up

He's basically the "king" of the end, even though he's not actually the ruler, it was his wife. But since she's GONE he basically had to take her place, until he finds a new wife or convinces her to come back if he ever found her (the end is a matriarchy)

He's kind of insufferable why do you think his wife left him

He has two kids, Lune (pronounced like loon) and Sunny. He LOVES his kids and is actually a really great dad despite being kind of an ass and fucking annoying. He misses them a lot and it breaks his heart that he might not be able to see them ever again

Dr. Malpractice

He's a geneticist specifically experimenting with mob/human hybrids.

His experiments are NOT ETHICAL AT ALL!!! He does whatever tf he wants whenever he wants. His only healthy, surviving test subjects are Phil (enderman), Tommy (spider), Charlie (creeper) and Quackity (duck). (He also experiments on my sona,, that I added for funsies,, but they weren't created by him he just happened to find them one day more on that later)

He's actually trying to make humans more powerful in a way, because they're the weakest humanoid species of them all. He wants to "save" humanity from their own biological inferiority and doesn't care how long it takes or how much damage he causes to others so long as he reaches his goal. Because he's fucking delusional and thinks he's doing something good

He even experimented on his kid, Fundy, and he didn't make it. He has a,,, complicated relationship with what happened to Fundy. On one hand the guilt eats away at him constantly, on the other he brushes it off as just another failed experiment since in the long run,, the ends justify the means in his mind

So far his deceased test subjects include Fundy, Niki, George, and Toby (Tubbo). His only escaped subject was Randy (Ranboo) and he's so fucking paranoid that somehow he'd be able to get the authorities to stop his experiments. But it's been months since Ran escaped and nothing's happened so he isn't AS paranoid anymore, but he still worries about it

He names all the test subjects himself, it's easier for him to remember than numbers because he has dyscalculia funnily enough

All the test subjects were made in his lab with stolen DNA so he didn't have to use his own. He basically grew them in tubes and used a rapid growth serum in the tanks to make everyone adult sized since it was easier to run tests that way. He accidentally left Phil cookin for too long so he's the oldest out of everyone LMAO (except for Dr mal himself, he's 37)

Ok so onto the cringe part !!!! cSoda is a shapeshifter, shapeshifters are VERY rare and often hide themselves because they're very sought after to hunt for sport or used for various reasons. They're basically "born" from the planet itself, they grow in pockets underground for many years and kinda just pop up when they're ready. (Think of like. Steven Universe gems but organic) cSoda is erm undercooked let's say LMAO because they popped up early in their development they're basically defective. They age (albeit slowly), their body scars, they can't regrow limbs properly, their shapeshifting is limited to only animals/people they've SEEN before and they are incredibly naive and have a harder time understanding/learning about the world.

Dr. Mal found cSoda (no idea how yet) and he normally wouldn't have cared but he saw their shapeshifting and immediately decided to "take them in". He takes advantage of their naivety and basically brainwashed them into thinking he cares for them. cSoda presents as a dog (more lore I don't feel like getting into rn) so they have the personality traits of one as well, very loyal and loving and INCREDIBLY affectionate. Which Dr Mal HATES.

If it weren't for the fact that cSoda is more useful to him while alive he probably would've just killed them because he's CONSTANTLY annoyed and irritated by them LMAO he wants to be able to replicate their shapeshifting and hopes that it might be able to help him achieve his goal

c!Wilbur

He fucking LOVES working the burger van with Ranboo, it gives him something to do and he actually enjoys spending time with them even after initially not really liking them. He thinks Ranboo is SO interesting and loves to analyze everything he says and does pFF

HE FUCKING. APOLOGIZED TO TOMMY!!!!! FOR EVERYTHING !!! HE WANTS TO DO AND BE BETTER FOR HIM AND HAVE A BETTER RELATIONSHIP!!!! HE LOVES HIS BROTHER SO MUCH AND IS TRYING TO BE BETTER AT SHOWING THAT RAAHH

He fucking REEKS no matter how much he showers or uses deodorant. It'll help with the intensity of the smell but he just reeks of death bc he was rotting !!!! he also smells like cigarettes and alcohol which does mask the rot and is actually preferable by most people (especially Quackity, who's VERY vocal about how much Wilbur stinks)

Tinybur

He's REALLY clingy, like he NEEDS someone to be holding him at all times. Normally it's Tommy (who's so obviously his favorite even tho he denies it)

It doesn't remember being human for the most part but he does miss it, especially being a normal height

He HATES when people baby him, he's a grown man who just happens to be child sized. If you talk down to him he WILL be an asshole

It was surprised when people started referring to him as an "it" but he kinda liked it !! It doesn't have the same feelings about its gender since becoming a doll and he thinks it's kinda weird but cool at the same time. It really is just vibin

It's voice is high pitched and he kinda hates it, its gotten used to it but it doesnt really like how its voice changed

Animatronic!Wilbur

He's so fucking annoying and is always flirting with parents for whatever reason. He fucking LOVES if they get flustered too it boosts his ego

He's SOO jealous of Ranboo its kind of embarrassing. He thinks he should be the lead singer and mascot but doesn't vocalize it, although he does make it painfully obvious

He's the lead guitarist and back up vocalist in the band (Tommy plays keytar, Ranboo is lead singer and James is the bassist)

He's actually really fucking insecure despite being a fan favorite. One time someone left their phone and it didn't have a password so he was able to use the internet which was. A mistake. He's seen the horrors of the Beloved Ent. Fandom and he thinks people only like him because he was made to be the "attractive one" and not because he actually has anything of substance.

He fucking HATES Schlatt with a passion, so he avoids the bowling alley entirely now. Jimmy (solidarity) used to be the bowling mascot but he was too fragile and a push over with guests so they replaced him with Schlatt. Who's nice enough to guests but does have a bit of a temper and doesn't take ANYONES bullshit. Wilbur was actually really close with Jimmy and he misses him terribly :(

Can you tell who I have more brainrot for LMAO

[ashismental]

INTRO POSTT!!!

€d/sh blog block me dont report i beg

I support and encourage recovery just not for myself .

About me:

My names ash (shorter version of my real name bc i don't like my name lol) im 15 which makes me a minor. I struggle with disordered thoughts around eating, weight and my body image in general. I also struggle with sh , major anxiety , depression and I've got the tism (Autism)

All my posts will be tagged with the tag ashismental incase i get t worded for a third time.

Dni list

Any1 who encourages others to sh or develop an €d

Nsfw accounts (in the terms of sexual content)

Racists & homophobes

More info about me and stats under cut

Tagging system!!

Interests

Hamilton i love all musicals but Hamilton is my fav

Hannibal

History specifically anything to do with ww2

Horses & animals in general

Psychology

Death, cannibalism, crime & forensics

Reading

Music

Crystals & rocks

I highlighted my main ones but those are some of my interests i promise im not crazy i just have a few dark interests.

STATS!

Height - 5'4/5'5 not to sure

Weight in kg

Hw - 88.9

Cw - 79.5 ALOT IK ( i keep losing and gaining the same 2kg) 29.05.24

Gw - 75.0

Ugw - 50

[battiegutz]

tryna figure out how 2 draw tha turtles but jus ended up makin my own renditions of them :<

anywae som facts abt my vers of them :3

raph is the youngest at 16, mikey is also 16 but was born earlier. leo nd donnie are twins at 17 but leo takes more of an older sibling role

leo has so much anxiety and issues good lird. tries to use humor as a coping mechanism but it is blatantly obvious he is so nervous

donnie ultimate autism creature. no iam not projecting shut up. he has bad shoulders frm slouching

raph has very bad mood shifts and trouble controlling his volume and such so his feelings also get misread a lot bc of how he expresses them

mikey expresses his emotions all the way and loudly, sometimes it makes others uncomfortable or judge him but it helps him

tbh they all have a bit of the 'tism. literally impossible fr me to make neurotypical characters

i have more but i wanna mess w th designs a bit more, esp their outfits nd their shell designs :3

[the-illiterate-pirate]

Can we get some Thunder McQueen headcanons? It doesn’t matter what kind!! -❤️

Random McQueen HCs ♡

Nsfw under the cut

Sfw

• McQueen can be found buzzing around the house cleaning. It's something he picked up from Green Dolphin, and helps with stress and anxiety.

• His significant other is also a big help <3 He just loves you so much! McQueen can't stand not having you near him. Mornings you find yourself suffocating in his chest, arms wrapped tight around to make sure you don't leave.

• Speaking of mornings, he can't stand them. Definitely has a dependency on coffee to keep him going, constantly begging for "five more minutes" of sleep (it's never just five minutes)

• At least he looks cute asleep. Like a giant cat. If he falls asleep alone he likes to curl into himself

• Bad habit of staring (mostly at you)

• It's the 'tism

• Also bc he likes to memorize the details of your face <3

• He also does NOT use emojis/emoticons/indicators during texting. Like he's fine with showing emotion irl but he comes off COMPLETELY dead through texting

• Doesn't like having dates outside the house, but he's willing to do whatever you want to make you happiest! Personally, McQueen would rather stay in, cook supper together and watch old tv. Maybe even bake dessert, too! He gets so soft doing domestic things with you.

• Rainy days make him clingy. Well, clingier than usual. He loves to find whenever you are, wrap you and him up in a nice blanket and watch the rain fall. He hates thunder though (ironic)

• Doodles on himself. Usually things he needs to remember, but you can also catch poorly drawn animals and random symbols and shapes like stars and hearts all up and down his arms and the back of his hands. Please kiss them, he'll get so red.

• His hands are pretty rough, and unfortunately lotion doesn't really help. But they're rough in a sort of comforting way. They're big. And he loves to squish your face and add kisses to your forehead and your nose.

• He smells very dusty and his hands always smell like soap

• Don't let his "no thoughts, head empty" face fool you this man can get HORNY

• Likes to cop feels whenever he pleases. I feel like he's an ass man

• When it comes to the actual bedroom, McQueen loves to be on bottom and dommed. His favorite positions are any that involve you using him till your heart's content

• MASOCHIST....

• Also possible mommy/daddy kink

• Has issues when it comes to self worth but turns into an absolute puddle for praise and body worship.

• HIS DICK MAY NOT BE LONG BUT HE'S GOT THE GIRTH, AND WE DO NOT STAND FOR PP SHAMMING IN THIS HOUSE!!!

• OKAY EXCEPT MAYBE HE DOES ENJOY A LITTLE BULLYING...

• Needs that "Don't bully me or I will cum :(" shirt

• Will cry during sex, whether it's soft or rough he's just an emotional guy

• At the end of it he needs an s/o who will treat him real nice. Someone to cuddle and who makes sure he's alright. Treat him as mean as you want just as long as he gets his kiss and a hug afterwards

• Definitely down to try pegging

• And LOVES licking foods like whipped cream or chocolate sauce off of you...

[pupcat-is-amare]

Okay I normally don’t do text posts but I need to say these things before I explode bc I have random thoughts that won’t leave me alone

Anyway! Random The Amazing Digital Circus headcanons I will die on a hill for… until the show (probably) proves me otherwise. In no particular order!

• Jax is Asexual and Aro Spec

• Zooble is Agender

• Gangle has a lot of stuffed animals and/or pillows in her room

• I don’t remember where I saw this but I saw someone else headcanons that Ragatha sows and now I’m obsessed with it

• Gangle has a touch of the ‘tism, and fiddling with her “hand” ribbons is her main form of stimming

• Caine wants to participate in the activities he makes but because of the fact it’s mostly stimulation for the humans (and also bc he already knows what’s happening), he doesn’t feel like he can participate

• Before Zooble got trapped in the Circus, they had some prosthetics

• Jax is a kleptomaniac, hence the keys bit from the first episode

• Kinger and Queenie entered the circus at the same time, hence the matching avatars

• Bubble actually finds the moon’s antics with Caine funny

• Pomni is a cat person + magnet

• Gangle has social anxiety

[binge-arexia]

after flirting with hopping back on my @n@ train again, it's really happening. literally so exhausting of feeling ugly and useless. & frankly once my body crosses a certain threshold of size i become acutely aware of the pressure of my thighs touching and the tension of the skin on my neck etc and it is sensory HELL. my tism needs a break and being skinny again will help so much

like i don't want to feel bone nausea just because of my thighs.

anyway accountability food diary

from wakeup at like 8:30 until 3 i just had 3 iced coffees with some half n half in it.

at 3 i had a banana and a clementine

for dinner i had 2 eggs, a heel of sourdough, some softened butter (1.5 tbsp maybe?) a little bit of cranberry orange sauce

dessert was 6 lil marzipan chocolate cookies from lidl.

not bad altogether. i need to start meditating again to reduce my ability to eat. it sounds weird but sometimes i can create this body based anxiety that makes it feel impossible for me to swallow. then i lose weight like crazy bc i basically cant eat.

anyway posting a picture of myself from when i was around my goal weight about a year ago. I need to get back i felt so good. i love my healthy relationship and my antidepressants but they have made me gain this weight and i want to be skinny and happy. por que no los dos, u know?

[hotluncheddie]

9, 17 and 29?🤍

hello!!!!! :) !!!!!!!!

9. do you have a skincare routine (and how many steps is it)?

i do! it’s pretty simple but also i don’t like straying from it bc it works n i like having clear skin. (also feeling very exited to be able to relay my routines to u idk why :3c (tism))

i exfoliate when i wash my hair (so every 2/3 days) and then i have a couple serums/essences i’ll use sometimes and then a moisturiser. i like the brand ‘simple’ bc their stuff is just plane and nice and my skin doesn’t ever react to it (stuff with perfume makes me so red). and that’s it! i have those spot stickers if i ever get a spot and i’ll use a face mask every so often for extra moisture. i’m very lucky with my skin it just likes being left mostly alone :)

17. an anxious compulsion you do everyday?

i have a thing about having water so like i basically never leave the house without it. unless i’m like, gonna be out for 10 min max. i just, i hate the headache u get from dehydration so i’m always drinking water. but also it’s a comfort thing, nothing can go wrong as long as i can have a drink of water. nervous? water. tired? water. thirsty? water. it’s healthy but also i know it’s an anxiety thing.

29. preferred pasta noodle?

spaghetti! or tagliatelle!! good for sauce and good mouth vibes!!!

ty for thissssss <3

[daybreakrising]

What are some things you worry about in terms of new people?

anxious munday meme | @resolutepath

mainly, that people will think i'm not interested and/or rude, standoffish, etc, based on the way i communicate

now. you've been there (for ten fckn years-) so you know this has been an Issue in the past, and i have tried to work on the way i come across to try and avoid this, but i know it's still not... brilliant. a lot of this stems from my generally Bad conversational skills (as talked about here) but also from my own social anxieties which can mean i sometimes take a while to warm up to new people. the 'tism doesn't help, either, particularly as i can't always pick up on tone (which is already harder through text-based communication as it is).

another thing is my activity. i keep weird hours, i can go days without writing a single thing, and i am Slow. this isn't as much of a worry as it used to be as it seems to pretty common for people to have low activity and/or immense patience with their partners these days, but it's still something i want to be clear about when people first find me. that's why it's in the first page of my rules in the hope that people read it (bc my rules are long and i don't expect everyone to read the whole damn thing-)

i just don't want people to think i'm ignoring them or the ask/reply they sent a week ago. i promise you, i'll get to it. i keep everything and hoard it all like a fckn dragon. it's in there somewhere.

[thatonefatgumsimp]

ok so genuine question about nd hcs

I saw multiple people saying Pomni has anxiety and perhaps a bit of the 'tism

I've seen people saying Kinger has anxiety and autism

I've also seen people say Caine has the 'tism?? But, like, he's also ai. I get he could maybe have the vibes just not the actual thing??

Anyways thoughts on who we might hc to have ADHD?? And wb Depression? Cuz on the second one I'm feeling Gangle and MAYBE Ragatha. Thoughts?

Not serious stuffs, just musings about the sillies (but also yes I definitely see autism and anxiety for Kinger, he's amazing and I love him sm he's one of my faves and I will not take "nuh uh" as a comeback BC I wanna have fun little headcanons for the sillies.)

Edit: def thinking maybe ADHD and Depression for Gangle...hmmmmmmmmm and maybe autism too, but idk...and then ADHD, Depression, and Anxiety for Ragatha maybe?

[ittybittycrocodile]

So it 1am right?

Well I’ve got the worlds most normal brother in a family of very not normal people. The guy does great with school, doesn’t have depression or anxiety, very much a bro dude, all that jazz. He goes to the gym, is passing school, a pretty decent Christian, too. He’s def got the tism and ADD but he has it in such a way that you wouldn’t realize it until a bit after knowing him. (It kinda cancels out in a way, and he’s an internal thinker so you’d kinda miss it at first)

Anyways. Normal brother found a burst of motivation tonight, was doing a bunch of laundry, and just walks in my room to put up said laundry. First thing he’s says is “I knew you weren’t asleep!” I responded “well you ain’t either so shush”

He proceeded to stand in front of my mirror and flex his muscles to himself, insult both of the chairs and my room (Joesef and Izzy) and even kick one, and when I told him he better sleep he said “I’ll kill you >:)”(/j tone, he wasn’t serious), then just left.

I wanted to share this bc it’s became a core memory forever now, and is even more reason to why he’s one of my fav and coolest ppl on this whole earth. He’s the most normal and least normal person I’ve met and never fails to intrigue me. He may not get most jokes, sarcasm, or social situations, but he sure is hilarious and fun to be around.

I