#and i think i will be in this limbo state of figuring out how to navigate fandom for a while longer | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

0310s · 4 months

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wiping something off their lips (sungho & riwoo ver.) 𓉞⋆｡˚☁︎｡⋆

members: bnd legal line x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff, friends to lovers, they have a crush on u waaah >_<!!!

wc: 1.3k

a/n: was too excited to post this so i decided to post the first two members once i finished their parts ^_^ btw my (sfw) requests are open so feel free to send in asks!

ᯓ★ sungho

neat eater #1: you will not catch him slipping. hates mess and hates having to clean up crumbs. but on the off chance he does make a little mess—especially with flaky food like croissants—you take this as an opportunity to tease him!!!

sungho already regrets getting this croissant, but he ordered it because he spotted you salivating over the cafe display even with your own share of food. as he’s cutting the croissant into bite-size pieces for you to nab from, he already grimaces at the flakes making their way onto the table. he also does not want to make a fool out of himself in front of you by looking like a messy eater (sungho it’s just a couple of crumbs… i promise you it’s not a big deal lmfao)!!!

things seem like they’re going normally until he accidentally gets some flakes on the side of his mouth. do not make a fool of yourself, sungho!!! he’s about to grab a tissue to dab it off when you wipe the crumb on his lips off with your thumb. you giggle and tease him for being a messy boy (he would die before admitting it, but that in fact did something to his insides). also, is it just his imagination or did your thumb linger on his lips for way longer than necessary?

sungho is very nonchalant on the outside: “oh. thanks for wiping that off.” but is freaking out inside!!!!!!!!!! tries to be Very Normal about this but his hand is trembling with the next bite he takes, and when you notice, you give him a knowing smile. you bring your hand towards his lips once again, rubbing your thumb back and forth across his lower lip “to clean up the mess”. sungho is as stiff as a board right now and his ears are so red; you notice and it makes you grin grow even wider.

you both pretend like nothing’s happened after that, and sungho tries his best to remain nonchalant about the whole ordeal… to no one’s surprise he spends night after night overthinking that day at the cafe (what are we…). buuuut he decides enough is enough and confronts you about it. if you do like him, that’s great (oh god, even the thought of you liking him flusters him), and if you don’t, then. well. he’ll figure out how to deal with the broken pieces of his heart. he just can’t stand having this limbo state where your feelings for him are ambiguous. so when he catches you alone one day, he decides to just get it done and over with, asking you to be honest with him… “why did you do that, the other day? it’s been driving me crazy.”

“what do you think?” you have a certain look in your eye and reply sardonically, “i just wanted to help you as a friend. of course i rubbed your lips with my thumb as a friend, because attempting to seduce each other is what friends do. so were you seduced?”

… well yes! his flustered face gives him away, but he doesn’t want to bare his entire heart to you just yet. he wants the truth from you. “tell me why you did it,” sungho repeats insistently. “please.”

you sigh and roll your eyes. “of course i like you, sungho. could i have made it any more obvious? yes, i was hitting on you. yes, i would have stopped if you were uncomfortable. but it was obvious from your expression where your thoughts were going. i know you liked it. and now, i know you like me.”

you take a breath and open your mouth to continue speaking, but sungho can’t take any more of your teasing. he reaches over and plants a solid kiss on your mouth, then instantly regrets it when he notices your blank expression and the pink rising to your cheeks. “oh god, did you not want-”

your face grows a deeper shade of red, and you harrumph. “of course i wanted it, idiot… now come here and kiss me again.”

ᯓ★ riwoo

riwoo is always the one wiping food of other people’s mouths so it’s rare that anyone does it for him—i mean, he knows how to clean up after himself! but he gets so shy and awkward in your presence… he’s just so self-conscious about his actions and appearance that at times he ends up becoming clumsy in front of you >0<

so when you’re hanging out together in his dorm room and he accidentally smears donut filling on his lips, you immediately shift closer to gently swipe off the jam… and you stick your thumb in your mouth, sucking off the sweetness. “wow, now i get why you’re so obsessed with these donuts. these are really good! can i have a bite?” without waiting for riwoo’s reply, you nab one of the donuts in the box and start eating happily.

meanwhile riwoo has stopped functioning. he can’t stop thinking about the way your touch felt against his lips and how nice you smell. his heart is beating like crazy in his chest and he feels so overwhelmed (in a good way, with his feelings fluttering around in his stomach) >_<… but riwoo can’t help but overthink your interaction—he knows that you did it out of kindness but on the other hand… why did they do that when they could have just handed me a tissue?

still, when you yourself end up with sugared powder all over your lips, his caretaker tendencies take over. riwoo unconsciously starts dabbing at your mouth with tissue, reminding you to be more careful. and all the while, you’re staring at him with an unreadable gaze. when he finishes fussing over you, that’s when you intentionally smear jam across your lips. while. staring. right. at. him. “sanghyeok, i think i got something on my lips… can you help me wipe it off?”

riwoo is nothing but overwhelmed. he doesn’t know where to look as you move closer to him, and as you clutch his arm, he begins stuttering and laughing nervously, ducking away from you and attempting to look for the tissue. “ha, ha, ha… where’s the tissue, i swore i just saw it somewhere…” he hopes you can’t see how red his face is.

as he pretends to busy himself, you sigh and present the tissue from where you hid it, snatching one and wiping the jam off your mouth quickly. “nevermind, i just thought…” you sound embarrassed, and your expression is hidden by your hair. “that was silly of me. we can just pretend this didn’t happen.” as you move to get up, riwoo suddenly realizes what you were trying to do all along—

”do you, i mean, that is, are you-” riwoo stumbles on his words.

you stop and cover your face with your hands. “yes, sanghyeok… i do like you, if it wasn’t obvious enough. that’s why i decided to do this stupid thing to try to flirt with you with the donuts, and it didn’t go as planned. i’m sorry for making you uncomfortable. you know what, i’ll just go now before i humiliate myself even more.” but before you can leave, riwoo is already grasping at your hand.

“wait! i, i- i also- me- me too,” riwoo says all in one breath and realizes how foolish he sounds. he can feel his face burning, but he braves on because he wants you to know that he feels the same way. “i… i like. like. you too.” your expression evolves into one of shock and then joy, then you’re descending upon him, knocking him down to the floor in a flurry of kisses across his face that he can’t help but giggle from.

once your little smooching session is done with, you gasp in indignation. “i can’t believe it took you a donut to confess! i should have done this earlier.”

“well… you were very convincing,” riwoo admits shyly, and he submits himself to another round of kisses (but he’s not complaining).

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running-with-kn1ves · 6 months

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I have enjoyed your some of stories! You are a wonderful writer and I'd like to request a story if you don't mind.

(Kinda related to you mimic one)

Can I get a Yandere male monster that traps the reader in an endless fourth-dimension-like plane? Their they are trapped in a place (whatever you decide) with the monster that endlessly stalks them with mimic appearances or voices, gaslights, acts psychology cruel, and is generally highly manipulative. The creature loves the reader but loves in an utterly devoted alien way.

No non-con. Toxic/forced relationship but no non-con. Plus, I've also believed that any truly alien/nonhuman creature wouldn't think nor desire sex in the same way as us humans do.

I hope you consider my request and have a great day!

A/N: This was sent in a WHILE ago, but here is my interpretation!

CW: Sleep paralysis-like/mimic creachure, kidnapping (?), possessive dialogue & behavior, nightmares, etc.

Synopsis: You wake up to something staring at you from the end of your bed.

Apparently no matter how many melatonin gummies you take, your sleep is not guaranteed to be a peaceful, long-term slumber. You too, can be awoken in a deep sweat while stuck to your mattress by an unseen shadow figure in the corner of your room. A couple nights ago it was in-between your closet doors, but something about that just wasn’t close enough, apparently.

It reached the end of your bed, black blurred fingers reaching up like the cold beneath your blankets, your ankle crushed by the grip of a frigid hand. It drew you forward, sliding you unceremoniously to the end of the bed. Your eyes were frozen, going watery as your body cramped. fear turned your skin into needles with your heart on the verge of exploding inside of you.

Each time ‘it’ came to visit you, it was enough to paralyze you in a suffering state of fright. You thought sleep paralysis demon’s were supposed to stay in their corners, just barely touching the tips of your toes, keeping you frozen in fear from a distance. But this, it came to huff on you with damp breath, always feeling unbelievably real, even in the achy mornings.

You were slid to the edge of the bed, silent screams unable to escape from your mouth as each leg disappeared into darkness, the rest of your body slowly following. You were being dragged into some dark, fuzzy hole of emptiness, yanked completely in by a twisting arm. It circled around your ankles entirely like shackles, turning your feet purple.

Your wide, dilated eyes were shifted from seeing the spinning blades of your ceiling fan, to the stary black of a rippled room of infinity. The “sky,” twinkled with small dots of light, but they sparkled in a way most stars didn’t. The ground wasn’t wet, but it seemed to flow over you, like waves of blurry obsidian sea brushing against the sides of your body.

The collective cackling of grainy, laughtrack voices in sync rang out. It was a flashbang of noise in the echoing universe, this other realm repeating sound differently than you had ever heard before.

“So easy…. Too easy!”

You recognized the voice to be from one of the characters in the show you watched before going to bed… but you couldn’t remember, who it belonged to. It was masculine, almost game show host-esque in inflection.

You swallowed. You felt worse, frozen in this infinity pool of unknown, trapped to the floor and completely exposed to whatever dragged you in here.

‘Wake up.’ You scrunched your eyes shut. ‘Wake up…!’ Your toes wiggled, still feeling that abyss of dark ‘water.’ ‘Please just wake up!’

“There’s no use, not when I have your body here stuck in limbo.”

The face of your 10th grade “boyfriend” appeared, peering down at you with his post-braces teeth, shining like a shark. But that wasn’t him, it wasn’t even his skin. Parts of him were twisted and too fractured, blurred out as if details of what he truly looked like were manufactured to be hidden.

The beast, it had his voice though.

“You looked so vulnerable while sleeping, turning blissfully frightened when you saw me hiding…” He laughed with a snort, a trait your highschool 5-second ‘lover’ often let out.

But that face was quickly peeled off by black fingers, blurry ones, those that ripped you from your bed. The dark mass left behind turned into a handsome young surgeon, one on the telenovela your friend had forced you to watch the other day. He was famous in Brazil, often for playing the devious, unexpected villain.

You could see the smile in his eyes before he took of the surgical mask, piercing greens big and bright with cheekbones sharper than the scalpel he killed his victims with.

You could hardly mumble between your tight lips, frozen as a gloved hand ran down your navel.

“I’ve seen what humans look like on the inside… but you make me so curious.” He spoke, slight portuguese accent snuffed by a long black tongue glazing over his full lips. “But I would never hurt my sweetly gentle creature, who couldn’t help but walk into my den… Should’ve been more careful in your dreams, my dear.”

“Wht’re talkin’ abt…” Cold drops fell down your neck, lips sewn shut as your gaze unwavered against the demon surgeon. His soft pupils were growing large enough to consume him.

“Our little, how do you say.. Date.” His pearly teeth disappeared and swirled into a new face, a 2D one of your childhood cartoon crush, the one you had the pleasure of lucid dreaming a cuddle session of. He had needed your help, desperate and despairing as he was stuck behind a midnight-colored, steel door. “Only you can open it.” He ushered, muffled behind the lock as he pleaded for release. He sounded so guttural, so unlike how you remembered in the hundreds of episodes…

But that smug, one-liner attitude and charming face that taught you love as a child came through and it praised you for such kindness. He was so flattering, your consciousness wrapped around his finger as the character of your dreams fed you sweet line after line.

“Have you never heard of leaving unknown doors closed in the unconscious world? Or were you too dense-headed to realize some dreams are too good to be true.” Your cartoon crush spat, A clawed hand coming up to pinch your cheek.

“Then again if you hadn’t been so brainless, we wouldn’t get to be here together. I guess I have you to thank for making you so… capturable.”

You clenched your teeth, wincing with every painful beat of your heart the closer the creature came. It morphed from your beloved character to a faceless black void, red filling where its features should be. With a ragged snap, its breathing left in chopped pieces. Out sprouted its teeth, protruding from cracks in its ink skin, splitting in its sternum and human-like arms. Along the middle of its fadingly red-black face, layers of teeth were rubbed over with individual tongues. They all seemed to speak, to breathe in rhythm as they chomped and let out guttural purrs.

“Plsz…Let m..go..!” You gurgled out, the sensation of its black wholeness wrapping around you like a blanket fort.

From its- his? Confession, you concluded he must be the reason your body’s been stuck in a deep sweat, spasming muscles immovable besides shaking against each other.

Tendrils made of something similar to the thick fog crashing waves over you began to wrap around your legs, leaving a thick, snail slime against your skin with each slow slither. The tips of them had a mind of their own, tentacles swirling, tickling and inching as their latter, larger midparts connected to the shadow beast hanging above you. Each new textured offspring latched and crawled up your body, dragging you closer and closer to the lower half of the beast. Its humanoid-shaped head tilted, fingers-- not tentacles, this time-- grappled at your arms stuck to your sides. Its eyes began to sprout, polka-dotting his body as an array of eyes covered his void of a face.

“You wouldn't be able to live without me… those blissful dreams with whatever handsome creature preoccupied your subconscious. I'm all of them, and they are me.” A black gooey tendril circled around your cheek, the tip wiggling to caress. “I am the prince charming you have run to, night after night, begging to be let out of that hole until you finally caved.” Faces flashed on his empty skin, ones you faintly remember from past dreams that always seemed to make your heart skip a beat. Our rendezvous kept me going all this time..So long i’ve watched you in the waking world from the shadows, wishing I could hold that pretty, unaware face.. My savior, my pet; I'm finally free to trap you for myself!”

He flashed to red again, the tendrils and hands keeping you still staying all the same, before the horrors’ face returned to a horrifying amalgamation of teeth and haunting black eyes.

You wriggled the small bits of your body that were free from paralysis, however that only seemed to be your tongue and toes, your arms jerking only minutely despite the screams inside your head telling you to move. Wherever you were, whatever time it was, it wasn't the same as your bedroom. You were limitless, the space around you nothing but a black hole sucking up everything around it into nothing.

You hardly recalled the dreams it mentioned, The faces only barely ringing a bell. But it was enough for him to see the familiarity flash in your eyes, a smile piercing that mouth of a face that looked as if it wanted to devour you.

“so tender.. so soft, I forgot what it was like having a human nearby at my disposal, receiving the flush of my form and my affection.. I'm afraid I'll never have the heart to free you from my burdened presence.” it chuckled a tad, fingers from its firmly real hands gliding to your shoulders. “Well, to be honest I never intended to, the moment I entered your sweet nightmares...”

You dared to think of speaking, only to find your mouth in a crumpled frown and the air in your chest nearly gone. It felt like you were suffocating under a great weight, sweating under your pajamas as a creature-like nail came to wipe away a drop of perspiration, or a tear, from your eye.

“Now, let's see what fun we can have here before the sun comes up.”

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7ndipity · 1 year

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Falling for a friend: Maknae line

Maknae line x Reader

Summary: How they would handle and confess to having romantic feelings for a friend

Warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking,

A/N: As promised, here's the maknae line lists! I'll also link Hyung line here in case you haven't read those. Hope you like them!

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jimin:

Tbh, Jimin was the hardest member for me figure out, because the only word that came to mind was 'confusion'.

Like, it would be a near 180 from Namjoon's scenario. No one knows wtf is actually going on with you two, except maybe him. And even he's all over the place about it.

(Literally half your friend group thought you were already dating? Help?!)

It's not even like he intentionally meant to confuse you(or at least, not completely), but he's such a naturally massive flirt that sometimes it's hard to tell where you stand with him.

Honestly feels kinda guilty when he realizes his feelings aren't purely platonic, cause he's not sure if you feel the same, so he kinda starts testing the waters, like Hobi, to see how you respond, but starts to worry if he's manipulating the situation to fit his wants.

Big on casual affection, both giving and receiving, but he's kinda sly about it. Says shit like "oh, your nails/rings/etc look so cool!" so he can grab your hand to examine them and then just... doesn't let go?

Flops his head in your lap and is just like 🥺"Pet my hair?"(he's basically like having an overly affectionate cat)

But heaven forbid you get too close or flirt with somebody else, because he will get salty af and sulk.

Finally confesses one night when he comes over to hang out after a particularly long day. As had become typical routine, the two of you were sat side by side on the floor at your coffee table, eating takeout and watching TV.

At ease for the first time all day, he could feel the fatigue begining to catch up with him, letting his head droop to rest on your shoulder. Without missing a beat, you offered him another bite of food, which he accepted with a muffled "thank you."

The two of you stayed like this til the end of your show, him looking up at you sleepily, a small smile teasing at the corners of his mouth as he watched you, his heart giving a little twist.

"I love you."

You looked down at him in surprise, his expression leaving no room for misunderstanding.

"I love you too." You replied.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." You smiled.

"Good." He shifts around so that he can wrap his arms around you more comfortably, pressing a kiss to your cheek before settling against you again.

Feeling his breaths begin to even out against your neck, you feel yourself being lulled to sleep, sinking further into his hold.

The two of you wake up later in the same position with sore necks, but you couldn't care less.

Taehyung:

Honestly? Unbothered(lying)

Don't misunderstand, it's not that he doesn't care about those feelings, it's more that he doesn't mind them, if that makes sense? Like, of course he's in love with you, who wouldn't be?

Pendulum swings between cocky and shy with you.

Easily impressed by you doing anything. He hears you sing and he's like🥺. Doesn't matter if you sound like an angel or a cat trapped in trash can, he's so down hard for you and applauding either way.

Thrives on skinship with you, giving out hugs for anything. You passed an exam/got a promotion? Hugs. You bought his favorite snacks? Hugs. You breathe? HUGS!

Doesn't hide his feelings for you, but doesn't act on them either.

Like, y'all have sleepovers and he'll joke like "And there was only one bed!" But then nothing ever happens.

Kinda likes the weird limbo state you're in, until he thinks someone else is also into you and he turns into a sulky baby, ranting about it to one of his hyungs. "What are you so worried about, I thought you guys were already a thing?" "No, it's not like that." "Then what is it?" And he just doesn't have a good answer for that.

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth." You say, scraping more batter out of the bowl sat between the two on your tiny kitchen table as you played the game that had become a habit for you.

"When did you realize you were falling for me?" He asks with a cheeky grin.

"Dare."

"You can't change answers now!" He laughed.

"Says who?"

"Me!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were on the official rule committee for truth or dare."

"If you don't answer, I win."

"You always win." You grumbled, making him grin, thinking that was the end of it.

"My birthday."

He looked back up at you surprise, not having expected to actually get an answer. "What?"

"It was right after I had moved here, and I didn't really know anyone yet, except you." You said, fiddling with your spoon.

"I remember." He said, watching you closely.

"But you showed up with balloons and a cake, saying you couldn't let me be alone." You shrugged. "I don't know, it made me feel... special."

You were now very aware of his eyes on you, making you nervous you'd said too much. "Nevermind, it's dumb-"

Before you could finish, he had caught your face in his hands and kissed you.

Jungkook:

As I think I've mentioned before, I think he gets small crushes pretty easily, to the point that when he notices the shift in his feelings for you, he doesn't really acknowledge it at first, figuring it'll go away in week or two, no biggie.

But then it doesn't.

And then he panics a lil bit. Ghosts you for like three days, then goes back to normal without any explanation, and you're just like "???okay???"

He decides he's just gonna play it cool, but he is not nearly as subtle as he thinks he is.

You're each other's comfort person, so you're together constantly which means even a tiny shift in his habits or behavior stands out.

Although it's not hard to notice how much clingier he's become(and jealous of FUCKING EVERYONE), so it's not difficult to put two and two together.

Would probably have realized you like him too, if he weren't so busy trying to act slick and come up with excuses to hang out all the time.

Y'all play flirt constantly too, which blurrs the lines between 'friend' and 'definitely not friend' even more, but sometimes you manage to catch him off guard.

One night when you're hanging out together, and he's a couple drinks in and lets his guard down. And you complement him on how good he looks or smth, and he just smirks.

"You want me so bad." He says in a low voice, trying to tease you,

And it's then as you're sitting there watch him, you decide fuck it, and just put it out there.

"Yeah, I do."

Nearly giving himself whiplash from how fast he spins around, he turns to stare at you wide eyed. "Wait, what?!"

"What?"

"You said-." His eyes are so big now, you can almost see the wheels turning as he tries to make sense of what just happened. "You like me?"

"Yeah." You shrug, trying to play it off. "Is that okay?"

He nods slowly, a smile beginning to creep across his features. "I like you too."

You're both suddenly aware of how close you're both now sitting.

"Can I kiss you?" He asks, already starting to lean in, before jumping back abruptly.

"Wait, ugh, my breath stinks like beer, lemme go brush my teeth!" He says, practically vaulting over the sofa and running for the bathroom, leaving you sitting there, unable to bite back the laugh that slips out because he's just so... him.

But that's why you love him.

Taglist: @fandems

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sandflakedraws · 8 months

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Hi! I have been a huge fan of your art for a long while now; I hope this isn't terribly, horribly rude but do you know when/if commissions will be open again?

It's totally fine if the answer is "not for a long time/ever", I'm just curious because I would love to commission you one day.

Have a lovely day or night, whichever! I will continue to enjoy your art like a delicious soup :)

Don't worry, I don't think this is a rude question! Hopefully the response isn't more than u bargained for.

Alas though, the truest answer is also the vaguest: I'm not??? Sure??

Rather, I'd like to open them again, but I need to be thoughtful about how and when I do it.

recently, the internet landscape has helped shed some light on the subject of ADHD, how it affects people, what forms it can take, and i have had some revelations regarding my relationship to it.

namely that i very . very likely,,, have it.

not sure why it never occurred to me despite having siblings and cousins with it, but either way.

What matters here is that sometimes, my brain constructs a wall of agony around doing a commission. Seemingly at random, it'll hit me with a constant button press of "not gonna! wrong! stop!" I never understood why. I had previously thought that I'd just been having some sort of temporary funk, and that one day I'd wake up and it would just. not be there. Y'know, like my executives would function.

So... it has been common for some very patient, sweet, compassionate commissioners to have waited months, even years before they received what they'd rightfully paid for.

... I hate that I'm capable of that. I don't want to be That Guy.

After having recontextualized the problem from 'temporary haze' to 'state of being' it's been easier to recognize what I need to do.

If I open commissions again, I need to figure out a way to keep ADHD brain from forming walls around the task. One thing I've decided for certain is that I've gotta switch to a multi-payment method. Ergo, the commissioner would pay a little up front, and the rest when I finish. Other than that though, I've been drawing a blank.

Until I get that settled, my commission status will remain in limbo.

#anon #joey babbles #if any of y'all other ADHD havers got advice #i am all ears #i never know what triggers it #i often have fun doing commissions!! its weird

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istadris · 3 months

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On the Koopalings and Bowser

I never know on which foot dance when it comes to Bowser's relationship with the Koopalings.

On one hand, yes, Bowser being a tired dad to 8 kids with most of them being adopted is cute (and a nightmare for me to handle in fics), and I respect and appreciate fanworks including that. I also understand that Nintendo retconned the familial bond and most Mario fans are used to the Koopalings being considered Bowser's family.

On the other hand, I didn't grow up with material where they are Bowser's kids, most of my exposition to them were games where they're his lieutenants, with Junior as Bowser's only son.

It so happens that I love complex relationships; found families that are difficult to define and don't fall neatly under the usual family labels; ambivalent feelings about a parental figure who clearly isn't your official parent.

With that said, hear me out on how I see the Koopa royal family dynamics :

Koopas can reproduce either with a partner or through parthenogenesis, birthing on their own a near clone of themselves (although if you ever call a Koopa kid born this way a clone in front of their parents, they're likely to beat the shit out of you and everyone in the vicinity will agree the reaction is justified, if a bit overemotional). Because laying an egg and providing for a baby all by yourself is very demanding, Koopas reproducing through this method go into a very intense nesting/brooding mode, basically turning off every function that isn't "take care of youngling" and becoming very aggressive.

When Bowser decided to have Junior (and morphed into a very broody Giga Bowser), everyone in the castle stayed clear from him...which facilitated sneaking into the castle for a bunch of half-feral orphaned Koopalings scrapping by to survive and hoping to nab enough food and money to live another day. Thankfully for them, when Bowser came across them, instead of registering them as "threat" (and eating them alive), due to how young and malnourished most of them were, his brain went "hungry baby. Must feed baby" before he dragged them back to his nest. When Bowser turned back to normal, he basically went through his day as normal, except now "normal" includes a bunch of kids.

Main reasons for this attitude :

He's Very Bad at talking about his emotions beyond "I HATE MARIO"

As far as he's concerned, the Koopalings are his kids now too. Even if he doesn't mention. If they're okay with it or course. If anyone else has an issue with it, he'll deal with them, and if they don't like it, they'll bring it up, but otherwise why make a fuss?

Kamek is the one doing the paperwork, so he's waiting for a sort of green light to put them down as his kids or something.

Kamek has been diligently dodging the question of adding 7 kids to the royal line of succession for several years now.

So for a while at the beginning, the Koopalings ended up in a weird limbo state where their status within the Koopa Troop was unclear. Ludwig, worrying the wind might turn someday, encouraged the oldest (and later the youngest) to make themselves useful. Which led Bowser and his officers and mages to give the Koopalings more stuff to do, and through the years, they gradually went up the ranks and became Bowser's Terrors and main lieutenants. Still, neatly calling Bowser "Dad" is a tad more complex than their actual feelings on the matter.

By the time Junior is 10, the dynamics go like this :

Ludwig (in his early-mid twenties) has always minded the Koopalings and is very protective of them. He's also deeply devoted to Bowser, who got them out of the gutter and gave them a chance. He's extremely informal towards Bowser and would never dare calling him Dad or even Father : it's "Lord Bowser", "Sir" or "His Majesty", and he would die for him (although not without making sure his death has an efficient, long-lasting impact useful for the kingdom). Even Bowser thinks he needs to chill.

Roy (very early twenties) is one of the only ones who remember having a dad, and it wasn't a fun experience. Still, he remembers what it was like, and Bowser being actually a decent father figure messes a lot with Roy's daddy issues. He wants to hate Bowser, especially once he's in his teens, because that's what being a cool guy is for, but even he can admit Bowser is badass. Still, most of the times, it's easier for Roy to call Bowser "Boss" and treat him as such, respect and all.

Wendy (around 16) is more than fine being Bowser's Most Specialest Daddy's Girl. She was born for this. She doesn't remember a lot from the pre Bowser life but she does keep in memory being insanely jealous of pretty girls with fancy toys, and never truly got over it. She noticed Bowser hardly refuses her anything when she calls him "Daddy", so of course that's what she uses...except when she's on the job and has to be taken seriously, in that case she falls back on "Lord Bowser"

Morton (??? either close to Wendy's age or one of the youngest, I can't decide) had no previous model for what having a dad is like. He's following the other's lead on it, but Junior calls Bowser "Dad" and Ludwig calls him "Lord Bowser" and the twins call him "King Dad" and it's Confusing. So it's Big Bowser and Little Bowser. All he knows is that he loves them both very much and the mere notion of losing them is enough to make him stress out.

Iggy (around 14) doesn't need a dad, he needs supervision to avoid blowing something up. He just loves being Bowser's "kid", whatever that entails, because he gets to mess with a LOT of people. He resorts to "King Dad", but mostly because Lemmy does it, and easily switches between "Boss", "Sir", "Daddy" and "BBB" (Big Bod Bowser. Who spent several days recovering from it the first time Iggy used it).

Lemmy (around 14, same as Iggy) is here to partaaaay. He doesn't remember anything of their life before Bowser, so for him, there's always been their big lug of a "King Dad" who needs them to bail him out of messes. He's close to Junior (due to being one of the youngest) and even if he does know Junior has a different status from him, it never bothered him and he never got trouble from pranking him.

Larry (around 14, can't decide if he's younger or older than Iggy and Lemmy) has also always known Bowser, but he's a bit more self-conscious about the situation of being sort of adopted but not officially? Usually he sticks to "King Bowser", so when he slips and calls Bowser "Dad", he usually feels pretty embarrassed, even if no one bats an eye.. He was actually a bit jealous of Junior as a kid for "stealing" Bowser's attention, but he's gotten better.

#super mario bros #bowser #koopalings #miscellaneous mario madness #long post #Ista writes

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queenshelby · 11 months

Text

Our Little Secret (Part 13)

Pairing: Dark! Cillian Murphy x Virgin! Reader

Warning: Infidelity, Brief Mention of Stillbirth

Notes: This will not be a love story. It will be dark, twisted and kinky. Cillian is portrayed as totally off cannon.

Two weeks had passed and you had almost moved on with your life which did not involve your family.

Your mother had kicked you out of her own house following your tryst with Cillian. But as luck would have it, your cousin Lukas had offered you a place to stay after Emma's parents too would not allow you to remain at their family home for more than a week.

You had to find a job quickly to sustain yourself and fortunately, you managed to secure employment at a local bookstore. The hours were flexible, and they paid decently, making your living situation somewhat manageable under these circumstances.

School, however, had to give way to your new lifestyle and you chose to transfer to college in the evening in an attempt to finish your education.

As far as Cillian was concerned, you had not heard from him since that afternoon, leaving you in a state of limbo regarding your relationship status with him.

From the local papers, you since learned that he had finally left Danielle and was now publicly fighting for custody of his son Max who the columns claimed was not his actual son at all.

Yet none of this mattered as you sat there staring blankly into space, haunted by memories and regret. Overwhelmed by guilt and confusion, you tried to block out the past few months - how you became entangled in such a mess with no future, only moments spent locked away from the world. But, it wasn’t easy. It felt as though the entire universe conspired to punish you for daring to experience passion beyond societal norms, yet you continued searching deep inside yourself for answers that wouldn't come easily.

You were pregnant with Cillian's child and an abortion was not currently something you could afford emotionally nor financially, forcing you to confront your reality alone. For the first time in years, the choices you made seemed to echo hollowly in your ears as you attempted to navigate this complex web of deceit, betrayal, and self-discovery.

"Em, I do not know what to do," you admitted honestly, breaking down in tears as she visited you, just like she did every day after you finished work.

Emma pulled you close, offering comfort as she held you tight.

"We're going to figure this out together," she assured you reassuringly, wiping away your tears. "But I honestly think that you need to tell Cillian," Emma added cautiously. "He has a right to know."

Her advice struck a chord in you, causing you to sit upright and nod thoughtfully.

"I asked him if he could meet, about a week ago, and he never got back to me, Em!" you said, feeling worthless and unwanted.

"He is going through a lot himself and he doesn't know about you carrying his child. Maybe you should try and give him a call again?" Emma interjected, attempting to mediate.

Despite Emma's suggestion, you remained hesitant, unsure whether reaching out to Cillian was the right decision. Nevertheless, you decided to pick up your phone and call him regardless of the consequences.

After a series of rings, someone else picked up on the other end – a stranger.

“Hello, can I speak to Cillian please?” you asked politely, trying hard to maintain composure amidst growing anxiety.

"Who am I speaking to?" replied the unfamiliar voice, curiosity evident in her tone.

”This is Y/N and I really need to speak with him,” you introduced yourself, taking a deep breath in preparation for what might follow. “Is Cillian available, please?” you begged and, just after you did, there was silence on the line for several seconds before the woman spoke up again.

"So, you are the homewrecker?" she snarled bitterly, anger radiating from her voice.

You flinched upon hearing those harsh words directed at you. You didn't expect the person answering Cillian's phone to actually know who you were, but then again, you did not know about the woman on the other line either.

"Listen, my brother isn't available. Don't call again. Please don't bother him anymore," came the venomous reply. Taken aback by the hostility, you couldn't understand why she reacted so aggressively when you hadn't even spoken poorly of Cillian. After a momentary pause, you found your voice.

"Actually, it's important we talk, whether you like it or not," you stated resolutely, ignoring the sharp edge in her voice. There was another brief silence followed by a mocking laughter that broke the air.

"Listen sweetheart, Cillian is going through legal proceedings against his wife, Danielle, because of you. He should not be speaking to you and if you call this phone again, I will provide you with a cease-and-desist letter on my brother's behalf. Any further contact will be considered as harassment, " she threatened ominously making you realise that the woman on the other end of the line was not only Cillian's sister, but also his solicitor, handling his custody case.

You recalled having met her at the funeral a few weeks ago. Her name was Alison and she worked at one of the largest law firms in Dublin.

As the conversation progressed, it became apparent that she despised you with an intensity that took you off guard. To make matters worse, she insisted you ceased communication with Cillian altogether. This was problematic considering she served as both Cillian's attorney and sister, putting her in a unique and potentially influential position.

You struggled to comprehend the full extent of your predicament until now. How were you supposed to inform Cillian about the child growing inside you without incurring the wrath of his sister?

It appeared impossible. Nonetheless, you had to reach out somehow, eventually, and hope for understanding from both sides despite their conflicted history.

As days turned into weeks, you grew increasingly anxious and restless, worrying constantly about how you were going to break the news to Cillian as the dire three-month mark drew nearer and you had yet another appointment with a local social worker to discuss your situation.

She offered you both, a community funded loan to carry out the procedure you needed or the option of putting you in touch with an adoption agency so that, further down the track, you could give up your child if you desired to do so.

Although it may seem cruel, it seemed practical and logical in light of your situation and, in the end, even Emma agreed with you on that front. The idea that you could choose whether or not to become a parent appealed to your desire for control over your destiny. However, this was easier said than done. Having a baby meant drastically altering your course forever, but you also knew that, not having the baby, might cause you regret.

The choice loomed large, casting its shadow over your daily existence. You frequently found yourself pondering the gravity of your options while walking along the quiet streets surrounding your temporary residence late at night. You often stopped in your tracks, contemplating your fate as a result of your irresponsible actions.

Life seemed determined to play itself out according to the chaos you created. Every passing day brought you closer to facing the inevitable truth and this truth was now something you had to confront by yourself. Without the man who caused all this by your site.

Tags:

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@heidimoreton @nela-cutie @futurecorps3 @delishen @nosebleeds-247 @thirteenis-myluckynumber @gills-lounge @hjmalmed @lost-fantasy @tiredkitten @sidechrisporn @smallsoulunknown @charqing-qing @hopefulinlove @aporiasposts @shycrybaby @me-and-your-husband @hjmalmed @lacontroller1991 @galxydefender @aporiasposts

@galxydefender @hunnibearrr @saint-ackerman @lunyyx @gentlemonsterjennie1 @ihavealotoffandomssorry @nadloves @lost-fantasy @nolucesn@mcavoy-girl @hjmalmed @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @blushykiss @tatumrileyslover @teawithsatanx @orijanko @rhaenyra4ever @xcinnamonmalfoyx @budugu @nadloves @kmc1989 @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @forgottenpeakywriter

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian fanfic #cillianmurphy #cillian x fem!reader #cillian murphy fic #cillian murphy fanfic #cillian murphy fanfiction

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misty--nights · 4 months

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This is not at all coherent, I don't think. I have a cold and woke up from a nap with a weird idea so I'm putting it out into the world in case anyone else finds it as entertaining as I did.

Do you know what I think would be a hilarious Dead Boy Detectives ship? Jenny/The Night Nurse. Now hear me out.

Imagine Jenny who goes to England with the ghosts and Crystal because her whole life has been turned upside down and she needs a new start. Imagine her trying to adapt to a new, completely different place, after spending her whole life in Port Townsend. Imagine her trying to cope with the fact that the supernatural exists and things are not how she believed for all of her life.

Imagine also the Night Nurse who has just been basically relocated from her job and forced to oversee these kids that have made her existence so incredibly hard lately. Imagine her having to live on Earth full-time for an indefinite period of time just because those pesky kids managed to charm her superior. Imagine her being incredibly frustrated about all of this, and not really having a way of venting about it because all of her power is meaningless in the face of her superiors.

Now imagine them meeting at the Agency office. Just a casual meeting once, when Jenny comes over to pick something up while Crystal and the boys are off on some case. Jenny remembers some of her first meeting with the Night Nurse. Not the specifics, of course, because the Night Nurse took that, but she does remember the fear and the weirdness afterwards. And to the Night Nurse Jenny is just some random human of no interest. So that first meeting again is kind of awkward.

But then, they keep crossing paths. They've both become this sort of reluctant parental figures to the Agency kids. Like the Night Nurse is obviously ordered to be Charles and Edwin's keeper, and Jenny has sort of taken it upon herself to look after Crystal (whose parents suck) and Niko (once she gets back to them, because I don't believe in a world where she doesn't make it back to her friends from whatever weird limbo state she is in.) And then because the four teens are now a package deal, Jenny and the Night Nurse start spending more and more time together.

Eventually, they get to talking. Still a little awkwardly at first, but they start finding common ground (complaining about the teens) and spending more time together with the only other adult figure in the group. Yes, Charles and Edwin have both been around for longer than Jenny has been alive, but they still at like teens most of the time. And yes, since Jenny's human the Night Nurse doubts their experiences can truly relate and they're not actually anywhere close in age, but it's not like she has many other options. So they talk sometimes. And slowly those talks become more and more frequent.

They start meeting like once a week. Jenny has opened a new shop down the street from the Agency and they meet there when the kids are off on a case. Maybe they share a bottle of wine or something and trade stories. Mostly complains about the teens, of course, but then also more personal things. Jenny's brain isn't quite able to grasp everything about the Night Nurse's lore, so she just drinks and listens.

The Night Nurse wouldn't admit it to anyone, but she enjoys having someone who will listen to her complains and not act like she's being unreasonable. Why wouldn't she be annoyed that this kids keep making messes for her to clean up and leaving her with mountains of paperwork to fill? (Some things never change, huh.) Jenny understands. She also finds the paperwork tedious. She also thinks the kids have an otherworldly ability to make stupid decisions and get on their nerves.

I think Jenny would be the first to catch feelings. Or at least she'd be the first to realize.

Once their meetings stop being a weekly thing and become almost daily, she starts noticing all these little things. Like how the Night Nurse is actually really soft for the kids, even if they annoy her. How she genuinely cares for her job in a way that goes beyond just being made for a job and preforming it for eternity. How she always does her best to keep the teens safe even when she knows they will try their best to get into as much trouble as possible. How she can be all dry humor and unexpected kindness underneath her business attitude. Eventually, she realizes that there's something about the Night Nurse that really calls to her, that draws her in despite her better judgement.

Jenny wouldn't do anything about those feelings, though. How do you go about romancing an eternal, trans-dymensional being? You don't. You sip your wine and listen to her as attentively as you can manage and you don't say anything.

The Night Nurse would take longer to realize she's falling for Jenny. It's not that she doesn't know how human relationships work or that she doesn't understand that she and Jenny are getting closer. It's just that she has many other, bigger, concerns.

It's not until much later, after a bad case, that she realizes. It's the kind of case that gets them all banged up and somehow, Jenny ends up involved in it too despite her insistence that she wants nothing to do with Agency business. I'm going cliche here, but I think her somehow getting cursed to be trapped inside her mind or something could work well. Because then the Night Nurse would have to go through her memories to get her back or something like that. And along the way, she would realize Jenny has a crush on her, of course, but also she'd realize she has a crush on Jenny too?

These past few months or however long it's been have been so much better knowing that Jenny understands at least some of her troubles. She can't begin to explain how much it means to her, knowing there's someone who will listen and commiserate and give the most human advice imaginable. It's a lot and she cannot ignore it now that she's realized it.

So, once things are back to normal and the kids have gone out to celebrate another case closed, the Night Nurse slips into Jenny's shop with a bottle of her favorite wine. Jenny still looks a little shaken, but she smiles and brings a couple of glasses to their usual corner and blushes prettily when their gazes meet for a second too long. Neither mentions it, but they're both aware of what has changed between them. And as the Night Nurse settles her hand on Jenny's she thinks of a man living inside of a sea monster and wonders if this is also an adventure worth talking about.

#dead boy detectives #jenny green #the night nurse #edwin payne #charles rowland #niko sasaki #crystal palace #my writing #what would their ship name even be #greennight #???#I don't know #I got way too into this for a random crack ship idea

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ur-boyfiend · 7 months

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i thought we'd manage with words left unspoken

hi hello felix x reader angst bc i feel like it and to balance out the fluff i'm also writing rn lol

uhhh gn!reader, angst like i said, depression / depressive episode, felix is an idiot but he's trying, hurt / comfort, soft ending dw

wc; 875

there's a strange kind of melancholy in the air around you. the sky is a weak shade of grey, almost as if it can't manage enough care to turn a true stormy grey.

it's ironic, you're not sure if the weather matches your mood or if your mood matches the weather. either way, it's not a pleasant combination.

you almost wished that the sky would just open, turn to an actual storm, anything but this odd limbo state. it was fitting, and you didn't want it to be.

you were in your own limbo, you didn't need the world to be in limbo with you, didn't want anyone else to be stuck in the same space of uncertainty you found yourself in.

and yet, as you sit by the window of your apartment, the sky is blank. you refocus on your reflection instead of the world outside, your expression as blank as the sky.

you try to remember the last time you'd felt anything really, anything besides this crushing apathy. and every memory leads back to him.

lee felix. your best friend, or who used to be at least. he'd stopped talking to you, apologized again and again because he hadn't just ghosted you, he told you that he needed space. you think you would've preferred him ghosting you.

you know that he doesn't want to hurt you, he never wanted to hurt you, and in a way, he hasn't. you can't feel hurt if you don't feel anything in the first place.

you'd always half-expected this to happen, he was the sun in human form, and you often wondered why he'd stuck around so long. after all, you might as well have been a black hole. but felix had balanced you out, he made things brighter, and you kept him grounded when he needed it.

you're not entirely sure how long you've been staring out the window, but there are clouds in the sky again. if the weather is reflecting your mood, you figure the clouds can only be memories. they drift across the sky, lingering just a bit too long, but there's nothing you can do to make them dissipate.

you only return to your body again instead of some place in the sky when you hear a knock on your apartment door. you ignore it, not wanting to see anyone, not wanting to remember what having someone there for you felt like.

but when you hear a key turning in the lock, any uncertainty solidifies into a solid mass of dread pressing down on your chest, crushing your lungs. you know full well that only one person besides you has a key to your apartment, and you curse yourself for not trying to get it back.

because if there was anyone you didn't want to see right now, it was the person currently opening the door. he looks almost as bad as you, and your throat tightens at the sight. you wish you didn't care, wish you could tell him to leave again, tell him that you didn't want to see him right now, no matter how much you needed to.

for a few long seconds you both look at each other across the apartment, the only light coming from the windows and the pale grey day.

"felix," it's all you can get out before tears threaten to fall, and you hide your face in your hands. you wish that it didn't matter so much to you, that he didn't matter so much to you.

a moment later you're being wrapped in a hug, and he's rubbing your back, mumbling countless "sorry"s into your hair. as soon as you feel his arms around you you let yourself break, feel yourself shatter in a way you'd been so close to since he left, but always managed to avoid with the knowledge that there'd be nobody to pick up the pieces.

you hope that he'll stay long enough to pick up the pieces.

when you can breathe again, you lift your head to meet his eyes. neither of you speak, afraid to break the fragile connection, afraid that if anything else breaks you may not be able to fix it.

leaning further into him, you try to figure out how to put everything into words.

"i missed you," is what you finally say, and hope that he knows you care, no matter how much you struggle to communicate.

he hugs you tighter, like he's scared you'll fade away if he lets go.

"i missed you too, i'm sorry y/n, i was an idiot."

you manage a small laugh, "yeah, you were."

"hey! you're not supposed to agree with me!"

"but it's true!"

he huffs, making you laugh again.

you hate yourself for a second, for how easily you welcomed felix back into your life, but it's not like you'd never done something stupid when feeling overwhelmed. and you both needed the other, you'd known that from the first time you'd met.

almost as if the universe was confirming something to you, the grey sky brightens into a bright blue, the melancholy clouds reorganizing into cottony white ones.

leaning further into felix, you smile slightly, hoping that this time the sun would stay.

#boyfiend writes #stray kids #skz #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #stray kids fluff #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x reader #felix stray kids #stray kids felix #stray kids angst #skz angst #skz scenarios #stray kids scenarios #lee felix #lee felix x reader #lee felix x y/n #lee felix fluff

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mononijikayu · 7 months

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phase three ─ say so

The words, 'Suguru and I are dating,' echoed through Satoru's mind, each syllable carrying a profound weight that seemed to press down on him with increasing intensity. His best friend, who had harbored unrequited feelings since childhood — Satoru could remember their college days, how Suguru would harp about that girl who smiled at him so tenderly every day and how he loved her. The love that persisted through countless failed relationships—all because they couldn’t warm him as his childhood love did. The friend who had openly shared his pining for her, the girl he grew up with and longed to see again. The one he had always been in love with. It finally happened, and the realization hit Gojo Satoru with a force that left him grappling with the enormity of the situation.

Genre: No Curses AU, University Professors AU!

Warning/s: Fluff, Romance, Pinning, Co-Workers, One Sided Romance, Mild Angst Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Co-Workers to Lovers, They're Figuring It Out, Folks!;

note: i kept changing the title and song for this one but i think it fits. also, shoko will appear in the next chapter. she's pre-occupied enjoying peace with her girlfriend right now <3333

masterlist

logic ≠ love masterlist

HE THINKS THAT HIS HEAD HURT WHEN HE LIFTED IT. But it was not uncommon for Suguru to feel this way in the mornings, peculiarly when other historians called him up for help on their own studies. It seemed that they often sought his input on the findings they had on the scope of his work.

This happens too often, he seems to think — even when he is busy with his own research work and his teaching job, he finds himself unable to turn away anyone that needed his help. He’d lost count of all the times his friends told him to learn how to not let himself drown in his own kindness. Yet it was hard to say no, it was easy to want the need to feel needed. And just as much, Suguru couldn’t help but admit to himself that he is in fact in need of distractions.

Stretching his arms as he yawned along with the sunrise, Geto Suguru couldn't help but notice the state of disarray around him. His long sleeved work shirt was wrinkled, and his long raven hair was entrenched in a mess. He looked down at his papers scattered across the desk, the words blending together from his long rest upon them. At the very least it was all that had ended up happening. If it had been Satoru sleeping on that, there would be endless drool and ripped papers. Satoru was, after all, the worst sleeper to be around.

With a heavy sigh, Suguru glanced out the window pane, his gaze drifting up to the sky. It had been a while since he had spoken to her, a few days to be exact. Her – the woman he now called his girlfriend, the person he was currently dating. And yet, somehow, it still didn't feel real.

The label of "girlfriend" hung in the air, a weighty reminder of the unspoken understanding that existed between them. Despite the passage of time and the shared moments they had experienced together, Suguru couldn't shake the feeling of uncertainty that lingered in his heart.

He longed to bridge the gap that had formed between them, to have an open and honest conversation about the nature of their relationship. But the fear of rejection and the uncertainty of her feelings held him back, leaving him in a state of limbo as he grappled with his own emotions.

As Suguru stared out into the expanse of the sky, a heavy weight settled on his shoulders, his mind consumed by thoughts of you and the undefined nature of your relationship. When you both agreed to start dating, the conversation ended there, leaving Suguru with a lingering sense of uncertainty.

In the days that followed, life seemed to spiral into a whirlwind of busy schedules and mounting responsibilities. You became increasingly occupied with planning your work for the semester and your teaching duties, while Suguru found himself buried under a growing pile of tasks and projects. Despite their shared commitment to each other, the distance between them seemed to widen with each passing day.

Suguru couldn't help but wonder if your busy schedule was intentional, a deliberate effort to avoid confronting the complexities of your relationship. Or perhaps it was simply a coincidence, a result of the demands of your respective lives pulling you in different directions.

As he pondered these questions, Suguru felt a knot tighten in his stomach, the uncertainty gnawing at him from within. Did you long for clarity and definition, or were you content with the unspoken understanding that existed between you? Or perhaps, like him, you found it easier to avoid addressing the issue altogether, choosing instead to bury yourselves in work and responsibilities.

As Suguru stood in his kitchen, the weight of unanswered questions pressing heavily upon him, he knew that dwelling on them any longer would only lead to further frustration and confusion. With a resigned sigh, he made a conscious effort to push aside his thoughts, recognizing that overthinking the situation would only drive him to the brink of insanity.

Turning his attention to the task at hand, Suguru mechanically began preparing breakfast for himself, his movements devoid of their usual fluidity as he robotically went through the motions. His gaze fell upon the empty storage of coffee, a stark reminder of the absence of his usual morning ritual. He sighed, it seems Nanami drank the last of the coffee when he and Satoru slept over. He ought to go to the grocery later too.

He turned to the other drawer, where he kept his tea. He takes a tall glass of water and poured it into his electric kettle, absentmindedly plugging it in and pressing the button. The familiar routine had always provided him with a sense of comfort and normalcy, but now, its absence only served to highlight the emptiness that lingered in his heart.

As he mechanically went about his morning routine, Suguru couldn't shake the feeling of unrest that gnawed at him from within. The unresolved tension between him and you hung heavily in the air, casting a shadow over everything he did. Despite his best efforts to push aside his doubts and uncertainties, they continued to haunt him, a constant reminder of the fragile state of what your relationship now meant. How can he stop being overwhelmed by this? How can he get you to open your heart to him?

With a heavy heart and a troubled mind, Geto Suguru resigned himself to the fact that some questions may never have clear answers right now. He had to be patient. He had to wait. As he always has. Patience is the virtue he was most good at. For now, all he could do was focus on the present moment and hope that, in time, clarity would come and the uncertainty that plagued their relationship would be resolved.

He heard the kettle whistle and growl.

He took his favorite mug and added the tea.

The water eased itself into the ceramic floor.

He sighed and let the tea mingle into the water.

Geto Suguru thinks about her as he waits.

SHE WAS SURE SHE LOOKED AT HER PHONE ALL DAY. Biting her lips in frustration, she couldn't help but groan as she buried her face in her hands, grappling with the overwhelming weight of her emotions. It felt utterly foolish that she hadn't been able to muster the courage to reach out to Suguru, to simply type a message or give him a call to explain her feelings and the whirlwind of thoughts swirling in her mind.

For days, she had been locked in a battle with herself, torn between the desire to connect with Suguru and the fear of what that connection might entail. The mere thought of contacting him filled her with a dizzying array of emotions, each one more tumultuous than the last. After all, he was now her boyfriend – a title that still felt foreign and surreal when associated with her longtime best friend.

The sudden shift in their relationship had caught her off guard, leaving her heart racing with uncertainty and apprehension. She had never envisioned herself in a romantic relationship with Suguru, never even dared to entertain the idea in her wildest dreams. And yet, here they were, standing at the precipice of uncharted territory, unsure of where their newfound connection would lead them.

His confession had sent her heart into a frenzy, the warmth of his words lingering in her mind long after they had been spoken. He had always been a steadfast presence in her life, a pillar of support and friendship through every twist and turn. The idea of crossing the boundary from friendship to something more left her feeling simultaneously exhilarated and terrified, unsure of how to navigate the uncharted waters of their evolving relationship.

As she grappled with her conflicting emotions, she couldn't help but feel a pang of regret for not being more proactive in addressing the situation. The longer she hesitated, the more daunting the prospect of reaching out to Suguru became, leaving her feeling trapped in a whirlwind of indecision and uncertainty.

The days had passed in a haze of internal conflict, each moment fraught with indecision as she grappled with the reality of her newfound relationship status with Suguru. Despite the warmth of his confession and the undeniable connection between them, she couldn't shake the nagging fear that reaching out to him would irrevocably change the dynamic of their friendship, casting a shadow over everything they had built together.

Frightened and overwhelmed by the weight of her emotions, she found herself unable to articulate the turmoil raging within her. The thought of confronting Suguru with her innermost thoughts and feelings filled her with a paralyzing sense of dread, leaving her trapped in a suffocating cycle of guilt and uncertainty.

She knew deep down that Suguru didn't deserve to be met with silence and avoidance. He was too kind, too compassionate, too pure of heart to deserve anything less than her honesty and transparency. Yet despite this knowledge, she found herself unable to bridge the divide between them, her words caught in the grip of her own fear and insecurity.

Guilt gnawed at her relentlessly, a constant reminder of her failure to communicate with Suguru and the toll it was taking on their relationship. Each time she saw him in the hallways or felt the urge to reach out to him, she was consumed by a sense of helplessness and frustration about all of this. Her inadequacy was horrid. She wished she could do better than this. She had just gotten Suguru back and had gotten him in a way that she didn’t even deserve and now she knew she was causing him more pain in isolation.

Sitting alone in the outer corner of the teacher's lounge during a coffee break, she felt the weight of her emotions come crashing down upon her. Tears welled up in her eyes as she struggled to contain the overwhelming surge of frustration and self-doubt that threatened to engulf her.

In that moment of vulnerability, she longed for nothing more than the courage to break free from the confines of her own fears and insecurities, to open up to Suguru and lay bare the depths of her heart. But for now, all she could do was cry out in anguish, the silent sob echoing in the empty room as she grappled with all these newfound feelings—ones that she never thought she would ever face before.

Amidst her turmoil, the sight of Gojo Satoru's concerned gaze as her tears fell silently caught her off guard. His white lashes blinked tenderly as his eyes settled on her, and without hesitation, he swiftly took a seat beside her. With genuine concern etched on his face, he bombarded her with questions, each one probing deeper into the source of her distress.

Satoru's genuine concern persisted, evident in the furrow of his brows and the earnestness in his gaze. Despite her attempts to brush off his inquiries, he refused to relent, leaning in closer as he sought to uncover the truth behind her tears.

"It's nothing," she insisted, her voice trembling slightly as she wiped away her tears in a feeble attempt to mask her distress. But Satoru's penetrating gaze left her feeling exposed, his unwavering scrutiny betraying his disbelief in her words.

"I-I'm being serious, I'm not lying," she stammered, her voice faltering as she struggled to maintain her composure under Satoru's intense scrutiny.

Satoru's lips quivered in a mischievous grin as he observed her carefully. "Uhuh, and when I look at your nose, it wrinkles so much, you can tell that they're hiding lies."

Her cheeks flushed with warmth as his playful observation sank in, a blend of embarrassment and indignation bubbling within her. The rosy hue that spread across her cheeks betrayed the flurry of emotions swirling inside her, a delicate dance between feeling self-conscious and mildly irritated by his teasing remark. Despite her attempts to maintain composure, the subtle heat radiating from her skin betrayed the effect of his words, leaving her caught in a whirlwind of conflicting emotions.

"S-shut up! That's so rude!" she protested, swatting playfully at Satoru as she attempted to deflect his teasing remarks.

Despite her efforts to maintain a facade of nonchalance, she couldn't shake the nagging feeling that Satoru saw right through her defenses, leaving her feeling exposed and vulnerable in his presence. Suguru did tell her that he was good at that, his best friend. She sighed, lowering her head and looking at Satoru, who leaned back into the chair.

“I don’t know what happened, but well, I hope you know it’s not a bad thing to tell people why you’re upset.” Satoru exclaimed in reply, his arms crossed in front of him. “But you don’t have to feel pressured to tell me anything right now. Just know that I’m your friend, and you can trust me, hm? I, the great Gojo Satoru, will be your friend and shoulder too! So chin up, girl. Don’t cry!”

She didn’t know what happened.

Perhaps she was overwhelmed.

Or she just didn’t know what to do.

But she started shaking her head.

She lifts her head and looks at him.

“Suguru and I are dating!” She cried, almost as though relieved that she doesn’t have to carry it alone.

In the aftermath of her revelation, the atmosphere hung heavy with the weight of unspoken truths. Satoru's reaction was immediate and palpable; his eyes widened, jaw slackened, and the disbelief etched across his features was unmistakable. It was as if time itself had halted, freezing the moment into a suspended reality where the unexpected revelation reverberated in the air.

The love that persisted through countless failed relationships—all because they couldn’t warm him as his childhood love did. The friend who had openly shared his pining for her, the girl he grew up with and longed to see again. The one he had always been in love with. It finally happened, and the realization hit Gojo Satoru with a force that left him grappling with the enormity of the situation.

For a moment, Gojo Satoru found himself suspended in a state of disbelief, unable to comprehend the magnitude of what she had just disclosed.Suguru finally achieved his dream. He got the girl. He finally did it. Satoru’s thoughts churned in a whirlwind of confusion and uncertainty, and excitement. As reality seeped back in, Satoru stood there, at a loss for words. His mouth moved soundlessly, attempting to convey the myriad of emotions swirling within him.

Satoru's exclamation reverberated through the room, his voice cracking with a mixture of astonishment and disbelief. The overwhelming flood of emotions threatened to consume him, leaving him teetering on the edge of a reality he had never anticipated. He could feel happiness flood him. His friend finally got the girl!

"YOU’RE DATING SUGURU?" he blurted out, unable to contain his shock.

“SHHHHH NOT SO LOUD!” she hissed in response, her cheeks flushing crimson with embarrassment. The intensity of Satoru's reaction took her by surprise, and she hastily gestured for him to lower his voice.

“HOW LONG?” Satoru pressed on, his curiosity getting the better of him as he leaned in closer, eager for answers.

As she snapped at him, her voice tinged with frustration and flustered embarrassment, she could feel the heat rising to her cheeks, the telltale sign of her own embarrassment.

"SHUT UP!" she exclaimed, her words sharper than intended as she shot him a pleading look, hoping to convey the urgency of her request. Her hand covered his mouth again. The scarlet hue of her cheeks betrayed her discomfort as she struggled to gather her thoughts amidst the chaos of emotions swirling within her. “Just, calm down first!”

As their voices rose in a heated exchange, the tension between them reached a boiling point. She was worried someone might have heard them, that someone might have ended up coming in. Gojo Satoru was too loud for his own good. She felt a surge of frustration bubbling within her, her hands gesturing emphatically in an attempt to convey the urgency of her request. Yet, despite her efforts, the atmosphere remained charged with an undercurrent of unease.

“The hand has got to go, you can’t keep—” Satoru's voice carried a note of exasperation as he gestured towards her, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

“Just calm down first and I’ll tell you!” She interjected, her tone tinged with urgency as she attempted to quell the rising tension.

“I am calm!” Satoru retorted, his voice tinged with frustration.

“Be calmer!” She shot back, her own agitation bubbling to the surface as she struggled to maintain her composure.

The air crackled with tension as they exchanged heated words, each struggling to maintain their composure amidst the escalating argument.

“Fine!” Satoru mumbled against her palm, his glare piercing as he met her defiant gaze. She returned the glare, her expression equally resolute as she held her ground.

"God, your hands are so sweaty," Satoru remarked, a hint of annoyance seeping into his tone as he pulled away from her touch.

"This is not the time!" she snapped, her frustration evident in the sharpness of her voice. Despite their efforts to diffuse the tension, the underlying strain between them lingered, casting a shadow over their interaction.

Satoru let out an exasperated sigh, running a hand through his disheveled hair as he tried to reign in his frustration. "I know, I know," he muttered, his tone softer now, tinged with a hint of remorse. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scream like that. It’s just….”

‘Suguru loved you for a long time.’ He thinks but he doesn’t want to say it. Only Suguru can say that.

Her shoulders relaxed slightly at his apology, the tension in the air easing just a fraction as she took a deep breath to steady herself. "It's okay," she replied, her voice softer now, her anger dissipating as she met his gaze with a hint of understanding.

They stood in silence for a moment, the weight of their unspoken words hanging heavy in the air between them. Then sat down after a while, tension already gone. He sighed, looking at her. She must have been concerned about the relationship then, if she was crying. He thinks about what Suguru must have done to find his childhood love cry like this.

“You’re crying about Suguru, huh?”

“T-that’s….” She looked at him, the glint of guilt in her eyes. “I just….it’s been awkward, trying to adjust to all this. And I just, he’s my best friend. I don’t know how to…”

“Navigate it all?” He supplies, with a grin on his face. She looks at him, embarrassed. She still nods. “But isn’t that normal in relationships? Figuring it all out.”

“I know that.” She replies back to him, looking down on the floor. “But I just….this is all new and different. I think I made him sad already by not replying to him or reaching out to him.”

“Oh, definitely. He may even think you hate him.” He nods at her words, making her look at him in a snap. “But well, that only gets cleared up if you talk to him right. Your relationship isn’t just you. It’s both of you. So, go on. Talk to him. Just say so.”

She lets out a small nod. “Thank you, Satoru. I just….I needed that.”

“No problem!” He grins at her, leaning forward with a thumbs up. “Just make sure I get something to enjoy in your latest volume. I don’t think I can handle more of the tragic angst.”

“I don’t think I can promise anything, but I’ll try!” She smiles at him and gets up from her seat, before he could reply.

She ran out before any other words could be exchanged. Gojo Satoru leaned back against his seat, letting out a deep satisfied sigh, the weight of the recent events settling heavily on his shoulders. Playing Cupid is a hard task, he thinks. The science to a happy life is after all, being able to produce chemicals to happiness.

“What did you do now?” A familiar voice interrupted his thoughts, and Satoru couldn't help but smile as he turned to see Nanami Kento standing before him, hands tucked neatly into his suit pockets.

“What didn’t I do?” Satoru replied with a playful grin, his tone laced with mischief.

Kento sighed wearily, taking a seat beside him. “You should have let them figure it out.”

“Oh, so now you reveal you heard everything,” Satoru quipped, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

“You scream too loudly,” Kento retorted, a hint of exasperation in his voice.

Satoru grinned mischievously, leaning closer to Kento's side. “How hard do you want me to scream?”

“Not here, you idiot!” Kento's cheeks flushed scarlet, embarrassment evident in his tone as he scolded his friend. Satoru couldn't help but chuckle at his friend's reaction.

“You’re too easy to tease,” Satoru teased, resting his head on Kento’s arm and snuggling against it. He glanced up at Kento with a playful twinkle in his eyes. “I thought you said not here.”

Kento averted his gaze, his reddened ears betraying his embarrassment. “...You haven’t slept much because of your work, right?” he asked softly, concern now lacing his words. “Just take a nap before your next class. It’s still two hours from now.”

Satoru felt his cheeks flush at Kento's caring gesture, his smile widening at the unexpected tenderness. Closing his eyes, he leaned into Kento's comforting presence.

“You're too cute,” he murmured softly.

Nanami Kento hesitated for a moment before replying, his voice equally soft. His cheeks flushed in scarlet.

“.........Yeah, yeah."

“You’re always so loving to me, Kento~”

“Just get some sleep before I get up and leave you.”

"Alright, alright~"

HE THINKS HE’S ABOUT TO HAVE A HEADACHE OF READING THROUGH PAPER AFTER PAPER. In the dimly lit cubicle office, Geto Suguru sat surrounded by a mountain of papers, each one representing a student's attempt at deciphering historical events. His brow furrowed in concentration as he meticulously graded each test paper, his pen moving in a steady rhythm across the pages. The scratching sound echoed through the quiet room, a stark contrast to the occasional sigh of frustration that escaped his lips.

It started out well, with Fushiguro Megumi's paper showing promise with its depth and insight. However, as Suguru worked his way through the stack, the quality of the submissions seemed to deteriorate. He couldn't help but shake his head at the chaotic mess that some of his students had produced.

Among the sea of mediocrity, one paper stood out to him—the six pages of storytelling by Itadori Yuji. While not entirely historically accurate, Suguru couldn't deny the creativity and entertainment value of Itadori's work. It was a refreshing change from the dry and uninspired essays he had been grading all day.

As he continued to work, Suguru found himself sinking deeper into the task at hand. The quiet solitude of the office provided him with a sense of focus and determination, allowing him to plow through the remaining papers with efficiency.

Despite the monotony of the task, Suguru found solace in the routine of grading papers. It was a familiar ritual that helped him clear his mind and focus on the task at hand. And as he neared the end of the stack, he couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment wash over him.

With the last paper graded, Suguru leaned back in his chair and let out a sigh of relief. The room was silent now, save for the sound of his own breathing. He glanced at the clock and realized that he had been working for hours.

But even as fatigue threatened to overwhelm him, Suguru couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction knowing that he would soon have completed his remaining task for today. He can have a good end with some gyoza and a beer. With a tired smile, he gathered up the papers and prepared to leave the office, eager to finally rest and recharge before the next day's challenges.

The sudden sound of the door swinging open broke the silence of the dimly lit office, causing Suguru to look up from his papers with a start. His eyes widened in surprise as she stumbled into the room, her breaths labored and her movements unsteady. Her disheveled appearance and heavy footsteps against the tiled floor immediately caught his attention, prompting him to rise from his chair in concern.

Without uttering a single word, she marched up to Suguru's desk with determination etched on her face. With a swift motion, she reached out and spun his office chair around to face her, the movement abrupt and unexpected. Suguru found himself facing her, his expression a mix of confusion and curiosity as he studied her tired eyes and tense posture.

The room fell silent as they stood facing each other, the weight of her unspoken words hanging heavily in the air. Suguru waited patiently, sensing that something was amiss and allowing her the space to speak her mind. He watched intently as she took a deep breath, her chest rising and falling with each labored exhale, before finally finding the strength to voice her thoughts.

With a voice trembling with emotion, she began, "Hey," meeting his gaze with a mixture of apprehension and vulnerability.

“Hey,” Suguru replied softly, his expression reflecting his concern as he watched her closely.

“I have so,” she paused, taking a moment to catch her breath and straighten her posture. “Oh my god, I need to exercise more,” she added with a self-deprecating laugh, attempting to lighten the mood despite the weight of the conversation.

Suguru's eyes softened with concern as he observed her, his worry evident in his gaze. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice laced with genuine concern.

She waved him off dismissively, forcing a small smile. “Yeah, yeah. I am…..don’t worry. Just need to catch my breath,” she assured him, attempting to reassure him despite the turmoil she was feeling inside.

Suguru nodded understandingly, giving her a moment to compose herself as she caught her breath. As she took a moment to collect her thoughts, he listened attentively, waiting for her to continue.

"I'm sorry... I haven't contacted you," she finally admitted, her voice tinged with regret as she voiced the apology that had been weighing heavily on her mind.

“I–”

Her determination shone through as she shook her head at him, her gaze unwavering and resolute. "No, I need to….I need to make this right," she insisted, her voice tinged with urgency. "I've caused you a lot of pain, and it's not fair to you. I wasn't being fair to you. But I want to. You poured your heart out to me, and I just….I didn’t make good on you. I was so confused about what this would mean. But I should have told you. And since we’re together, we can work it out, right?”

Suguru's heart ached at the sight of her distress, his eyes softening with compassion as he listened to her words. Gently, he reached out and took her hand in his, drawing her closer to him in a comforting embrace.

"It's okay," he murmured, his voice filled with warmth and understanding. "I should be the one apologizing. I should have made it easier on you, too. Everything happened so suddenly, and I should have known it would have overwhelmed you too. I should have asked you and conversed more with you about this. To be fair to you too.”

Tears welled up in her eyes as she shook her head, her grip on his hand tightening. "No, Suguru, you don't deserve this. And... and I don't deserve you."

His heart skipped a beat at her words, and he felt a surge of emotion welling up within him. Though he struggled to find the right words, the depth of his feelings for her was unmistakable in his gaze as he looked into her eyes, his heart overflowing with love and gratitude.

"I... I'm sorry," Suguru stammered, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "I shouldn't have... I mean, I haven't even told you how I love you."

In the quiet aftermath of their tender exchange, as they stood enveloped in the soft ambiance of the office lights, a flicker of uncertainty danced across her features. Her brow furrowed in a subtle expression of puzzlement, her eyes searching for him with a hint of apprehension.

‘Wait, he’s never said he loved me, right?’

As Suguru met her gaze, a sudden realization dawned upon him like a bolt of lightning.

‘Wait,' he thought, his mind racing to catch up with the tumultuous whirlwind of emotions swirling within him. 'I never told her I loved her.'

The weight of his unspoken confession hung heavy in the air, a poignant reminder of the words left unsaid between them. In the stillness of the moment, Suguru felt a surge of panic rise within him, his chest constricting with the weight of his own reticence.

'I never told her I loved her,' he repeated to himself, the words catching in his throat like a bitter pill. The truth of his feelings loomed large in his mind, a daunting revelation that left him grappling with a profound sense of regret.

The weight of his words hung in the air, a heavy silence enveloping them as they both grappled with the implications of his confession. Their eyes met in a moment of shared vulnerability, each trying to decipher the emotions reflected in the other's gaze.

Finally, she squeezed his hand gently, batting at him a shy smile playing at the corners of her lips. "I-It's okay," she whispered. "I'm happy….happy that you could tell me your feelings. To….to hear that you love me."

Relief surged through Suguru like a tidal wave, washing away the remnants of doubt and uncertainty that had clouded his mind. In that fleeting moment, as he absorbed her heartfelt words, a profound sense of gratitude enveloped him like a warm embrace.

With a gentle smile playing at the corners of his lips, Suguru met her gaze, his eyes alight with a spark of newfound hope. In the depths of his soul, unspoken promises danced like flickering flames, casting a radiant glow upon their shared moment of connection.

"I'll try my best to make it up to you, to reciprocate your warmth too," she continued, her voice filled with determination. "I'll do everything I can to make you happy too, Sugu."

Suguru's heart swelled with emotion at her earnest pledge. He reached out, gently cupping her cheek in his hand as he searched her eyes with tender affection.

"Thank you," he murmured, his voice soft yet filled with sincerity. "Knowing that you're willing to make this work means everything to me."

“Me too.” She smiles back at him, squeezing his hand. “Thank you for being willing to make this work too.”

For a moment, he felt like he could breathe again.

The touch of her hand on his own made him warm.

Now, he thinks that everything is right with the world.

Because he thinks that he can work with this now.

He can work with love being his only logic with her.

She just has to smile at him warmly and say so.

extra; going home together

As Geto Suguru and she exited the office together, they held hands as they walked off the past towards the future. All the tension from their earlier conversation began to dissipate, replaced by a sense of ease as they fell into a comfortable rhythm of a warm, tender conversation.

"So, what are you in the mood for dinner?" Suguru inquired, a gentle smile curving his lips as they walked side by side.

"Hmm, maybe some sushi?" she mused, her mind wandering to thoughts of their upcoming meal. The idea of enjoying fresh sushi sounded appealing after a long day of work, and she could almost taste the delicate flavors as she spoke. “Oh, oh! How about going to that okonomiyaki restaurant that you talked about?”

As they rounded the corner, Suguru and she stumbled upon an unexpected sight: Nanami Kento walking away from Gojo Satoru, who had a mischievous grin plastered on his face as he teased Nanami–san about something. The pair didn't seem to notice Suguru and her, engrossed in their own exchange, but she couldn't help but watch them for a moment.

Satoru's laughter rang out, echoing against the backdrop of the bustling Tokyo street. Despite the busy surroundings, there was an undeniable closeness between the two men, evident in the way they interacted with each other. She noticed how Nanami–san moved to the corner of the sidewalk, Satoru staying close beside him as they navigated the crowded street.

There was a sense of harmony in their movements, a silent understanding that spoke volumes about their relationship. She couldn't help but feel a pang of envy as she watched them, admiring the ease with which they seemed to complement each other.

"They seem very happy together," she murmured, tearing her gaze away from the pair to glance at Suguru beside her.

He nodded. “Nanami most of all, look. He’s not stiff today. No one probably pissed him off.”

The curiosity bubbling inside her.

Curiosity is too strong to just ignore.

Turning to him, she voiced her thoughts.

"How close are they?" she whispered, her voice tinged with awe and admiration. “They seem so opposite of each other, so I thought they were not as close.”

“Huh?” Suguru looks at her as though she had grown a head on her side. “Are you serious?”

“What do you mean?”

Suguru glanced at her, and then snickers. Suddenly, there’s a playful twinkle in his eyes. "Didn't you know? They're lovers."

She stopped in her tracks, her eyes widening in disbelief.

"WHAT?" she exclaimed, her voice echoing through the corridor.

Suguru continued to walk off, laughing at the depths of his lungs.

The revelation caught her completely off guard, leaving her stunned and speechless.

“Hurry up and stop being frozen, I’m hungry!”

facts about the characters thus far:

satoru, suguru, shoko and nanami all met in high school. only suguru and satoru ended up going to the same university. nanami went to another nearby university and shoko went to study in a nearby medical university.

you've been a BL mangaka since senior year of high school. it started with slice of life stories, which you sold at conventions in freelance. you ended up becoming a pro after a few years after you gave up on finding a job in the mainstream writing industry. you still decided to get a teaching job because you don't know how long the pro-mangaka work will last for you.

you and suguru met at five years old in the playground, where your moms became good friends. he saw you struggling with the swing and helped you on it. you declared him your best friend that day. suguru really likes to think about this memory a lot.

satoru is a big fan of BL and it started because his ex from high school was a fan and really had good reads. he starts going to conventions and personally buying them. he doesn't mind that people stare at him when he buys their books. as he stated, he has bought your books in person too, before you were even a pro-mangaka.

suguru isn't a fan of BL but he likes getting into them when the stories are really really good. satoru has recommended stuff to him before and he's read them. he personally also buys them in print, which is his personal preference. his current favorite is currently 'doukyusei'.

satoru often causes a lot of commotion in the school because of his antics. a lot of people have expressed their annoyance, but over the years, he has become too important to fire. so people just got used to all of his antics and even started joining him.

nanami and satoru got together during satoru's high school graduation. nanami hated gojo in high school because his basketball club hogged the training grounds, where nanami's track club also needed to use. they ended up bonding because of their shared passion for pastries.

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simplyzeke7372 · 1 month

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I feel like not nearly enough people talk about (in my humble and very easy to be wrong opinion) one of the BEST Miguel O'Haras around.

MY BOY FROM THE GAME SPIDER-MAN EDGE OF TIME. This game served as a loosely connected sequel to another Beenox Spider-Man game, Shattered Dimensions which as far as I know is essentially the OG Spiderverse event. For anyone who isn't very aware of Miguel outside of Across The Spiderverse, Miguel O'Hara is a irish-mexican man in the year of 2099, he works at the super corporation Alchemax and got his powers after trying to reset his DNA when his boss (also his secret dad if I recall) drugged him with Rapture and another employee tried to kill him by sabotaging the machine that he was using. Rapture being a future drug that bonds to your DNA, the reason he was drugged was because he was trying to quit over inhumane experimentation.

If you wanna know more, you can look it up. I'm here to talk specifically Edge of Time, the game opens Miguel up extremely well. His first words in the game (that are technically chronological) are as follows

"I keep trying to tell myself I'm just jealous of Walker Sloan's progress. It was only 5 years ago that he first showed up at Alchemax, talking about harnessing energy from the fourth dimension. Now he won't stop until he's running the place. I know his type, he's thinking beyond Alchemax, aiming towards who knows what? He's the exact type of corporate monster I've sworn to rein in. Especially if he's mucking with time travel, the year 2099 might not be much, but it's all mine. And he's not gonna change it."

This sets Miguel up extremely well, he isn't like Peter where he's all quips and jokes, he's a fun guy and joker when he's MIGUEL, but he's a lot more serious when he's Spider-Manning...usually. His aim is also far more big than Peter's usual deal, Alchemax is like his sworn enemy, they're the kind of company who see purely in statistics and how they can get what they want. As an Alchemax employee himself it has a very fun contrast of Miguel O'Hara being an employee but Spider-Man is against them. 2099 is...a very bad time, there's cannibalistic gangs with super powers or super tech, every issue we have now is amplified. But Miguel sees it as HIS home, one that he has to save.

The game then goes along with him breaking into Alchemax and following Walker Slone through the building, listening to dialogue and evil plans the whole nine yards. It becomes a race against the figurative clock (there isn't a time limit for the player but whatever) as he hears the time portal is activating, Walker really is about to go back and make Alchemax in his image years before it was founded and eliminate any and all competition with both it and his 2099 knowledge. Miguel arrives just in time to see him go through, but not stop him, diving in after him the webbed hero is seemingly ensared by the timeline itself as strange tendrils made of the portal's energy hold him in a state of limbo. Seeing the future...of the past that is, of Peter Parker's death at the hands of Anti-Venom (who's his own whole thing I'll get into someday maybe.)

Ejected from the portal as time itself reshapes and his whole world and history is altered, Miguel is left unaffected presumably because of his diving into the portal. We then see how Peter's life changes as well, first he's at the Daily Bugle talking to MJ on the phone when the timeline shifts and he's an employee at Alchemax explaining he has to work with Otto Octavius in the DNA lab and can't go out to eat with her, and that he's also given some of his DNA to the database. (Miguel uses this to somehow make a time transcending psychic link between them which allows them to communicate in real time at their two different points in the timeline)

I'll try not to just recount the entire game from here on, but as Miguel achieves contact with Peter he tries to explain how he saw him die on the sixty sixth floor and how he wants him to stay away from it (also filling him in on what's happened, which makes the connection to Shattered Dimensions as he remembers Miguel seemingly as well as the other Peters). But Peter instead insists that if a killer is running around he has to stop them. Miguel, as almost anyone would, thinks Peter is a fuckin idiot for this but can't stop him so he just makes sure to constantly remind him how he feels about it.

Miguel through the entire game is essentially always focusing on the endgame, getting Peter out alive and beating Slone to save their timeline. So much so that once Anti-Venom, Doc Ock and Slone get merged into one hideous abomination and Peter asks him to save MJ as he learns she dies in Alchemax (both Miguel and Peter swapped times for Miguel to save Peter). He reacts how you'd expect, not dismissing her life but instead cites all the other things he's juggling, security and drones, a time powered symbiote abomination and trying to get them back to their proper places.

"Fine! I'm a nosy Parker! But now that I've found out it's-"

"What? It's my job to save her? I've got enough to deal with!"

"You can't mean that! You can't just ignore that she's in danger."

"Hey, I'm trying to focus on what's important"

"What's important is NOT standing by and allowing someone to suffer or die because you do nothing! If you don't get that then you don't get the first thing about being Spider-Man."

"You're the one that doesn't get it Parker, the future depends on-"

"My future is meaningless without her!"

"This is gonna be a huge mistake."

"I owe you Miguel...big time."

"Shockin' right you do! But...maybe this'll help even the score for everything the world owes you."

"Thank you...I mean that."

Even though Miguel thinks he shouldn't waste the precious time they have by saving one person and risking their timeline, he does it because of Peter. Fighting through hordes of Alchemax security and time portal emerging symbiote doc ock arms until he goes into freefall to save MJ from the elevator she was in falling. He goes against his personal beliefs of the timeline matters more to save someone, because at the end of the day, with Peter in his mind talking to him Miguel simply can't just let her die because it wouldn't be right. The game was also at minimum co-written by someone who worked on the original run of Miguel's comics so that was cool.

#marvel #spiderman #miguel o'hara #edge of time #peter parker

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zzzykiek · 4 months

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Play it Sweet

2PAlastor x Diabetc human Fem!reader

This chapter dives into the NSFW zone at the end so Minors DNI you've been warned.

CW: toxic work environment, creepy boss, anxiety, p in v sex, cunnilingus (just a smidge).

*Please give credit when reposting*

Thanks and enjoy!

2P Alastor credit - https://anic-mj.tumblr.com/post/627521842542936064/2palastorblueberry/amp

Chapter 3 —-- In Control

His tears are pouring over your shoulder. “Al?” You gently rub his back. He reaches into his pocket and procures another yellow pill. (Are these anti anxiety meds?) He steps back and throws the pill down his throat. He takes a deep breath and you gently swipe a tissue over his cheeks.

“Th-th-thank you. I k-k-kept up the act a bit longer than p-p-planned.”

“Well you did a fantastic job!” Your turn to plant a kiss on him though you have to half-jump to reach. The smile it brings from him is so adorable you can actually feel your eyes dilate. “How can a demon be so adorable…” you definitely didn't mean to say that out loud but there it came, out with your breath. Before you could process anything from that blunder you’re in Al’s arms, legs wrapped around his waist, as his forehead sits against yours blue bangs tickling your temples.

“I’m a-d-d-dorable huh?” He laughs and twirls you around. (Holy cow, he is strong!) “We should head out, my sunshine.” His voice purrs that new nickname and you melt into an embrace as he lets you slide down his frame to be standing on the floor. You look at him and giggle, both of you have the goofiest looks on your faces. His smile grows suddenly “Oh! and don't think I missed you mentioning having a recording studio. This I must see!”

“Well then let's go. I seem to remember you mentioning some blueberry pancakes.”

“Th-that I did!”

You lead him out to your car and cringe at the state of it. Random books, games, and antiques you had planned to restore. “Sorry, I wasn't planning on hosting a guest… I promise my place is clean.” You hear the door and see Al plop into the passenger seat with bright eyes turning over an old radio in his hands. (He likes radios? His voice did sound like one at first.) You hop in and start up the car before acknowledging his interest.

“I rescued that beauty from an old thrift store. Poor thing needs some TLC. Sadly when I got it Boss decided to add work hours with my promotion, so it got stuck in limbo…”

“TLC?”

“Oh, it stands for Tender, Love, and Care. I restore antique things I like. If you like that you are going to love the ones in my studio.”

“You’re perfect.” Now it was his turn to accidently slip a thought out with his breath. You both chuckle and the remainder of the car ride goes by in a wave of blushes, glances, giggles. You finally reach your little cottage and Al follows you inside, still clutching the radio. You do a little spin in the living room of your small abode.

“Here we are! I gave up having a typical bedroom so I could bring my studio to life….” You say glancing at the haphazardly made futon around the corner. “...but this is what you wanted to see!” You throw a door open and let the back lights illuminate the perfect merriment of restored and new recording technology creating an impressive switchboard. Bookcases filled with restored radios, cameras, and phones. Al’s eyes are wide and with a flash of green light he returns to the blue deer figure you met hiding under a table. You lean against the switchboard and flick a switch bringing the tape reels and record player to life.

“So did you know I liked radio, or is that also your thing? Judging from your reaction I'd say you have a thing for broadcasting too.”

“Y-y-yes my sunshine, I am known as The….” He summons a blue cane with a microphone atop it and twirls it with a flourish and finishes it with a bow. “The Radio Demon.”

“Well Mr. Radio Demon, can I assume you dance?” You flick a switch and the room fills with your favorite electro swing mix.

Al tightens his grip on the microphone, then it disappears as he offers his hand to you. You accept and are immediately pulled into the best dance of your life. (Not that you had many other dances under your belt, and definitely the only one who could actually dance to your music.) All timid nature is gone as Al spins you around, leading you in perfect time to the music, and even lifts you above his head.

You’re nose to nose as the song ends, both of you breathing heavily, and in the same heartbeat, his hand is behind your head and your fingers are gripping his collar while your lips explore his. (How do our lips fit so perfectly together…?) You sigh into the feeling and he mewls in response gently flicking his tongue against your lower lip. You allow access and he gently moans at the feeling of the deeper kiss. He is holding onto you so tight, like you would run away if he let go. You let your hands explore his hair, confirming your suspicions of his ears being sensitive as he melts onto his knees at the first light touch. He breaks away the kiss and looks slightly sad for a moment as he gently unzippers your dress. You laugh remembering that for some reason you chose blue undergarments that day. (I guess that was fate.) His eyes glow as he admires this little surprise. Quickly fumbling with the buttons on his coat, starting to shake again.

“No-no-no, I need to be in control for this…. First t-t-time, I don't want to scare you off.”

He goes to grab another yellow pill and you catch his hand gently.

“What if I don't want you in control?” You look him in the eyes.

“P-p-please, I want to b-b-be.”

The look he gives you tells you how important it is to him so you let him down the pill and help undo his buttons while he takes a deep breath. You make it through all the buttons (Three layers is a lot of fucking buttons.), and pull his upper vestments off. As you touch his chest you're surprised to feel soft fur, as pale as his skin. You run your fingers through it letting out a deep contented sigh. He closes his eyes and leans into your touch. Grabbing your wrist, he begins planting small kisses along your arm until he reaches your lips again where he dives back in. His kisses are desperate and sloppy, gently suckling your lip as he backs off just long enough for a breath. He begins rutting his hips and soft moans escape him each time he makes contact against you. His sounds alone send a surge of warm arousal straight to your core, only to be combated by the tingle of his clothed erection hitting your clit, making it your turn to moan.

You gently push him up as you fuss with his belt and pants, letting them drop revealing more soft almost white fur and the slightly darker toned skin surrounding his cock. (Oh shit is that going to fit…?)

“I p-p-promise to be gentle.” (Ok can he read my mind? I am starting to wonder now.)

He kisses you again with a bright red flush on his pale cheeks. You feel him position himself and slide his tip up along your slit, moaning at how slick you are. (Holy shit, I've never been this turned on by anyone before.)

“Y-y-ou really want me?” He breathes the question in between kisses. All you can do is nod, so kiss drunk at this point that you knew he could get anything out of you he wanted. (I guess I gave him everything already though huh…?) You feel pressure at your entrance as he gently begins pushing in. You whimper at the sensation. (Fuck it's been way to long, and he is so big!) You hiss in a breath and his kisses become lighter as he coos reassurance between each one. Running a hand through your hair, he murmurs, “It’s okay,” and, “I got you,” followed by, “Hold on to me.”

When he says that, you let your hands fall to his arms and squeeze, digging your nails into biceps. He groans in pleasure as his pelvis presses flush against you. (Was that from my nails or him bottoming out?) His breath becomes deep and animalistic with tiny sounds of pleasure escaping as he gently pulls back.

“I'll mold you to me.” His voice is still soft, but there's a spice to it, and you feel static dance on your skin. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and you loosen your grip on his arms to entangle your fingers in his hair as he carefully pushes all the way back inside. Your eyes go wide as he hits a spot you never experienced before. (Now I understand the whole seeing stars thing.)

“Al,” his name tumbles from you as he picks up his pace.

A soft yet guttural moan escapes him with every thrust, contrasting your uncontrollable squeaks as he hits that spot over and over, never letting you get a full scream of pleasure out before he is hitting it again. Your eyes go wide as he places his forehead against yours. You’re so close and as he looks into your eyes you realize so is he.

“Cum with me, my sunshine.” He purrs, locking your lips together again as your mind goes blank with pleasure. Every muscle in your body pulses almost in time with his. You can feel, as he slows his motions, the warmth left behind from his own orgasm, with no way to tell what of the mess now coating your thighs is from him and what was from you.

Before you even recover, he dips his head down between your legs. He begins licking up the mess running down your swollen pussy. This elicits a gasp from you and an animalistic moan from him as he greedily takes in all the juices he can get to, going so far as to use his finger to get more from inside your overly sensitive hole.

Your brain and body come down from their high enough for you to form a few thoughts. (I just fucked a literal demon…. That's new…. I am totally fucked.) You can’t help but giggle at your own ideas. Your movement breaks Al from his dessert between your legs. He wipes his mouth quickly as he pulls you up into an embrace, both of you kneeling on the floor in the middle of your studio. “Are you o-o-k?” He asks then. “D-d-did I hurt you?”

You snuggle into the soft fur of his chest. “No Al, not at all.” You feel him relax and hold you closer to him. (Drowning in soft fur isn't a bad way to go right?)

The rest of the evening goes by in a blur of kisses, cuddles, and conversation. His cute little stutter comes and goes as he talks. You spend hours talking to Al about radios, music, your broadcasts, books… you've never been able to speak this easily with someone. Eventually everyone gets bored or annoyed, but not Al; he is fully engaged and just as excited as you. The more excited he is, the less he stutters. He even shares some first-hand things about some of your restored items you could have never discovered on your own. Eventually (Way too late for a work night.), you fall asleep on his heavenly soft chest.

#alastor #alastor smut #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #2p!alastor #2p alastor #blueberryAlastor

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reds-skull · 9 months

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Post script on Not Alive, Nor Dead

Like I mentioned yesterday, I have a lot to say about the fic now that it's done.

The TLDR is that I'm leaving an option for a sequel. No promises though.

Leaving the rest of it under the cut because idk how long it will end up.

Okay, so first thing I gotta admit is that I didn't plan shit lmao. I had the start very clearly in my head, which were the scenes I talked about in the first post I made about revenant AU. But the entire plot line with Graves being a secret revenant? Hell, even the whole 'revenants and non-revs are getting kidnapped around the world' was not planned.

The scene in chapter 4 with the PMC was the introduction for the anonymous PMC, but I didn't think of making Graves and in extension Shadow Company all the work of a revenant. I was debating even making him a revenant at all, up until I wrote the chapter introducing him.

This approach, of not planning shit, is what made me excited to sit down and write every day. It felt like I was discovering the story myself.

It's also a fucking miracle the story is coherent in any shape or form.

Now, I did write a few things before starting. They were a small overview of the character arcs I want the 141 to go through, and a brief about each revenant's powers, because those things need to be consistent.

The arc overview isn't accurate anymore, it has a version of Gaz's storyline that I didn't manage to fit in, where he has a fear of heights, and overcomes it throughout the fic. The only one really left unchanged was Soap, who had the whole "my powers are too destructive" thing ongoing for most of the story.

Speaking of Soap, the Konchar mystery? I was figuring it out while writing the 3 chapters before introducing 'Konchar'. There are some inconsistencies because of that, specifically in a line where Soap says something along the lines of "I did something on my Reaping, something that if I could replicate, I might've not been let on the team." which kinda makes sense but kinda doesn't, considering all that Ghost has done.

Ghost's struggles with Limbo were something I added after wanting to give him a parallel to Soap. Originally, Ghost's role was to be the guy that has already gone through what Soap is going through, already knowing everything and having as much control on Limbo as he can. But making Limbo this uncontrollable realm was more interesting... also having it reflect Ghost's mind and emotions was cool.

One of the most pleasant surprises was how Price's powers interacted with everyone else's. I think it was the best power to personality match I made, he's not as scary as the others at first glance, but the ability to bore into the minds of his enemies, the way no one can keep secrets from him? Makes him terrifying. It's not made clear in the fic, but the reason it took Price so long to figure Graves out is their previous encounters. Graves knew how to divert his thoughts away from his Shadows, and stop Price from finding out.

What made Price realize Grave's Shadows aren't human is he tried to read their mind, only to find a list of commands. Graves tried to keep them away as much as he can, but it was inevitable. Shepherd knew it, which is why he ordered Price to keep his mouth shut almost instantly.

Since the way revenants get their powers must be linked to the way they died, some revs were easier to find powers for than others. Obviously the 141 was first, some at the time I started thinking about how they died didn't have a canon near-death experience, like Price and Soap.

I took Ghost's og backstory, and the idea of Limbo was gotten from the fact he died in a coffin, in a state of in between life and death. What Limbo does to people was just 'scariest thing I could imagine' type of situation. In the end, I don't know if Limbo is scarier when Ghost couldn't control it, or when both he and Soap could.

With Soap, I knew I wanted something with explosions, so it was a no-brainer to make him die from one. I mentioned in another post, but revenant AU was originally at the very beginning just a thing of 'what if I put mw characters in my original magic system?', and in that scenario, Soap was the only one with powers, which were control over anti matter, meaning anything he touches or touches him explodes. The only scene from that one is of Soap pushing Ghost away and getting shot to high hell, only to go and explode the people that tried to kill him - which is chapter 8.

I chose to use Gaz's iconic hanging out of a chopper scene, because I found it funny tbh lol. Later, when I thought of how exactly he died, it became more serious.

Price's were just kinda random tbh. I figured telepathy is a good ability for a Captain.

Rudy obviously dies in the house fire he almost did in the campaign. Alejandro was harder, but I thought of how Graves locked him up in the black site prison alone, so I went for something similar.

It's not mentioned in the fic, but Farah was the youngest to die from all of them. The house collapse in the start of her flashbacks in mwi, where her father pulled her out of the rubble? She didn't survive it. She's a very rare revenant, to be Reaped when she was a kid.

Farah and Ghost's og backstory have a lot of similarities, in my mind they're parallels to each other. What Farah had that Ghost didn't, however, is other people, a community. I think that's why she didn't lose herself the way Ghost did.

Alex's was difficult, because his canon near-death experience was being exploded, like Soap. I used the fact he's ex CIA, to figure he probably took part of many covert operations, and one went wrong. He was caught, so now he can go invisible. This was the thing I failed to make clear the most in the fic, I think, since a few people asked, more than anything else.

Thomas Anderson, the revenant with underwater breathing abilities, was originally made just for Ghost to roast him. When chapter 8 rolled around, and I needed a random revenant to kill there, I thought using the one established would make sense.

Accidental foreshadowing like this was what carried the fic, tbh. It was like a huge session of 'yes, and'ing myself. A little bit of bullshitting confidently, sometimes it felt like that lmao.

The wedding vows in chapter 31 were, again, unplanned. Ghost said "till death do us apart, Johnny?", so I started looking up Christian wedding vows in English because I don't fully remember them. Later I thought "wait, Soap is Catholic, maybe they have a different version." and then I thought, "shit, he's fuckin' Scottish, he won't use fucking American Catholic vows." (maybe he would idk).

Anyway, I found the Celtic vows present in the fic, which sounded like a metaphor, so perfect I couldn't use them just for the original joke they were meant for. So Soap ends up reciting literal wedding vows at the man.

[here's a link to the website I found the vows at]

Last thing is the whole Makarov tie in to Konchar. I was thinking about how we never really dove deep into why Konchar did what he did, besides having his Reaper tell him "you have to kill Soap before he kills you". I heard an advice somewhere, that in world building you have to dive in two questions for it to be believable.

So, let's take Konchar for example. First question is, "how did Soap killing Konchar not bring on an international incident between Kastovia and the UK?". The answer is, "Konchar was an army deserter." Second question is, "why did Konchar desert the army?", and the second answer is, "because he left to work with Makarov."

We don't need to know why he left, not at the point I left the fic at. Those two answers would be enough for readers to not feel like there's a plot hole there, at least according to that advice I've heard.

NOW, with all of that out of the way, I wanted to post the notes I've made on each revenant's powers, because I thought it could be interesting for someone. AND! I kept some deleted scenes, and it would be a shame to just let them rot in the Google Doc lol.

First up, list of revenants and their powers:

[These aren't 100% accurate anymore, as they were written before I started writing the fic, and I only added stuff to them]

Ghost - limbo: is able to send a circle around him into “limbo”, a space between life and death, that no one can escape. Filled with his enemies. Only way to survive is if ghost brings you to the eye of the storm, where he keeps himself safe of his own powers. Ghost can be killed by any means if taken by surprise and doesnt activate his powers.

If stands still too long, inky hands start grasping at him from the ground. Prefers to sleep elevated.

Died in a coffin.

From chapter 21 and beyond - able to wield to withstand fire in his right hand.

Soap - explosion: cant be killed by explosions, and can explode anything he touches. Any injury with the root cause being explosion (fall from high building, debris scratches, etc.) will be healed, but he does feel pain from it. Gunshots cant kill him (the bullets shoot with explosions). Can be killed by any melee attack, poison, electricity.

Fire burns from his fingertips, hard to put out. Spreads when agitated. Hot to the touch.

Died from a fall because of an explosion.

From chapter 21 and beyond - able to wield the protective light in his left hand in Limbo.

Gaz - gravity: can manipulate gravity of himself and objects he touches. Cant die from falling. Can be killed by any means, but hard to catch and aim at while at motion.

Usually floats a couple inches off ground.

Died in a helicopter accident.

Price - telepathy: can talk and transmit simple ideas to other around him. Can feel emotions of others. Can be killed by any means, but Price can manipulate the enemies thoughts and distract them.

His thoughts can “leak” if left unguarded.

Died after being abandoned and without comms.

Alejandro - phase: can phase through solid objects, including bullets. Can be killed by any means if caught by surprise.

Sometimes accidentally phases through things.

Died in captivity.

Rodolfo - ice: can lower the temperature of anything he touches rapidly. Can freeze and jam guns. Can inflict ice burns. Can be killed by any means beside fire.

Breath always visible, cold to the touch.

Died in a fire.

Farah - steelskin: can deflect any attack to her body. Bullets, knives, rockets. Can be killed by poison easily, as needles cant pierce her skin and therefore medical administration is hard to give.

Skin shines oddly.

Died from a stab wound. [changed to what I explained above]

Youngest to become a revenant.

Alex - invisibility: can become invisible. Otherwise can be killed by any means, hard to spot.

Skin sometimes flickers.

Died when got caught.

Graves - shadow company: can create “shadows”, puppets he controls. Can be killed by any means, but hard to get through his shadows.

Doesnt have a shadow of his own, eyes become milky and vacant, leaking after a while.

Died from betrayal.

[I didn't manage to find a place to add this - yes, Graves died after his squad betrayed him. His powers are a replacement for the whole army. His last line, "Me? I am the army." was what he boiled down to. Limbo's victims marking him a traitor was two fold. He betrayed the 141, Vaqueros, the UFL and basically everyone around him, but he also betrayed his own Reaper, who gave him powers to not go through that very thing. It's also another reason why chapter 30 is called 'Die As You Live'.]

Kirill “Konchar” Bogomolov - telekinesis: can move objects with his mind. Can protect himself from any physical attack, and redirect them towards the attacker. Is a revenant of the Pull, like Gaz. (name means “Lord” and “devotionalist”) First death from RPG, second death by Soap.

Now, for the cut content. Most of these are one scene, usually one that didn't fit the emotinal arc of the characters, or the direction was going somewhere I didn't like. There's one that is a page and a half long, and that chapter was one of the hardest to write, so I practically restarted it at one point.

I'll try to add the context they were originally in if I remember.

[Context: the scene in Chapter 5, where Ghost watches the night sky out of a window, unable to sleep, and Soap comes to speak with him for the first time since they fought about Soap's tendenticy to let himself get hurt. Soap says he heard rumors about Ghost, and Ghost asks what they said.]

“ (rumors) That you murder our soldiers.”

Something akin to fear rang through his chest. So he knows… He supposes it was meant to happen eventually.

Soap’s face, for some reason, doesn’t lose its newfound cheerfulness.

“And what do you think about those rumors?” Hell knows why he wants to keep hearing him talk.

“Well, that makes the two of us.”

… What.

“What?” Ghost intelligently mutters.

Soap’s eyes widen, face not unlike a child caught with his hand in a cookie jar.

[Reason to cut: Soap wasn't supposed to admit that yet. He also wouldn't have done it in such a non-chalant way, with how heavy the guilt weighs on him.]

[Context: Chapter 10, where Ghost was showing his powers to the Vaqueros and Graves.]

The Captain’s voice fills his head, “field’s clear, go ahead Lieutenant.”

Ghost glances one last time at Soap’s figure, no more than a small speck, far, far away from him.

He closes his eyes. The warm air of Las Almas dissipates into the chill of Limbo.

He opens them, confused. The void is quiet, the residents of Limbo looking at the distance, calm and still. It reminds him of… before.

Ghost frowns, narrowing his eyes to try and see what caught their attention. There, a far away point flickers.

A small, white flame. Where… Soap was standing.

Ghost blinks and stumbles back. Price instantly sounds in his mind, “Simon, what’s going on?!”

“I saw something there…” He makes eye contact with the Captain, who is now jogging towards him, Gaz and Soap behind him. “Light… from Johnny.”

It can’t be… how is Soap able to affect Limbo? Every single spiritulogist he met agreed on the fact he’s a sort of master over Limbo, that the realm is a manifestation he’s inseparably linked to.

The only thing others can do there, is die.

“What do you mean light?” Price urges on.

“A small flame. Where Soap was. The victims were all staring at it.”

The 141 members reach him, Johnny rushing to him, “are you alright?”

Ghost gapes at him, “you’re different. I’ve… changed you.”

Soap frowns, “what are ye on about?” he steps closer.

Ghost takes a step back, “stop.”

The Sergeant stills, a hurt expression flashing on his face before he schools his features.

Price invades his mind, “Simon, you have to calm down-”

“Calm down?! I fucked up Soap! I need to-”

The ladder patterns. Ghost turns around.

“SIMON RILEY”

“Reaper”, he exhales shakily.

“YOU’VE DOOMED YOURSELF. IT IS TOO LATE.”

“What are you talking about?!” Ghost screams, “you keep saying I’m gonna die, while Johnny keeps suffering!”

“I DO NOT CARE ABOUT OTHER REVENANTS, SIMON.”

The Reaper leans in to shriek in his ears, Ghost clutching his head uselessly.

“YOU ARE INTERTWINED.”

Ghost cries from the pain. His Reaper does not falter.

“KILL HIM FIRST.”

His vision fades along with the Reaper’s words.

“Ghost! Fuck, someone get a medic” Someone shouts above him.

Another voice interjects, “he’s not injured, Sergeant. He’s with his Reaper.”

“From my experience, that doesn’t make me holler and pass out!”

A third person joins the conversation, “shut it! He’s waking up.”

Ghost groans and makes a move to rub his eyes, only to be stopped by his hard-shell mask. “Simon? You alright son?” Price asks, bringing the smell of fresh flowers and a soft bed to him.

He gets up (when did he lay down?) and mutters, “fine”. His voice hoarse from screaming. He takes in his team, the three of them concernedly crouch beside him, except Soap, who’s pacing around.

The Sergeant stops and eyes him warily.

“My Reaper’s mad.” he says in lieu of explanation to the others.

Soap stops, and looks down at him, still avoiding his stare, “it’s because of me, isn’t it?”

He sighs, “when those arms started grabbing ye I thought it was gonna-”

“What arms?” Ghost gets up.

“The dark arms from the ground, don’t tell me you didn’t noti-”

Ghost grabs the front of Soap’s shirt, “you fuckin’ see them?!”

The Sergeant struggles against his iron tight grasp, “aye! Thought I was hallucinating last night, fuckers made a pass at me-”

Ghost pushes him away, “fuckin’ hell”.

What the fuck is going on?! Nobody can see the victims outside of Limbo. It’s almost like…

“He has some of my powers…” Ghost whispers to himself.

But that’s not possible?

[Reason to cut: chapter wasn't working out for me. Characters not reacting in character. Reaper not supposed to show up just yet, and what it says kinda repeats previous encounters.]

[Context: chapter 13, instantly after Rudy and Gaz confront Ghost on his relationship with Soap.]

What, do they think he and Soap are sleeping side by side every night, comfortably tangled under the thin sheets? That he warms himself on his Sergeant’s eternal flame, that Johnny brushes his charred, calloused fingers over his arms, his shoulders, his neck, chasing away the cold, inky grasp Limbo always has on him? That Ghost reciprocates, that he holds Johnny’s face softly, bringing them closer and closer until-

[Reason to cut: out of character. Ghost doesn't think about affectionate actions, he jsut does them. Too early in the story for him to express such wants.]

[Context: I don't remember honestly. Entire scene was cut. Might be later in chapter 13, before Graves threatens Ghost.]

He catches Alejandro pacing around the base one day, frowning and arguing with Rudy in Spanish. From what Ghost can pick up, it’s something about an American. He’s pretty damn certain which one.

“Vargas, any issues?” he stops him before the man pops a blood vessel.

Alejandro glances at him, scanning their surroundings for eavesdropping ears. “Come with me.”

The three enter the Vaquero Commander’s office, Rudy locking it behind them, “it’s about Graves.” Alejandro starts pacing again, “fucking gringo is ordering his shadows to collect intel on us.”

“What?” that’s a huge fucking development.

Rudy is quick to correct him, “we can’t prove anything. But yes… Graves knows more than he should.”

“He knows about secret tunnels we have under the base, and weapon stashes that not even Price knows about. We got fucking Shepherd trying to get us to use locations for the mission he shouldn’t even know exist.”

Ghost feels the tension climb up his spine, “what the fuck do you think he’s playing at?”

Alejandro exhales loudly, “whatever it is, [I didn't finish the sentence]

[Reason to cut: Decided that Vaqueros wounldn't suspect Graves, and he wouldn't risk his powers found by using Shadows to spy on them. Didn't like where the scene was directing the story.]

[Context: chapter 19, when Ghost asks Gaz for help with showing emotions with Soap. Gaz asks why can't he now.]

Garrick nods thoughtfully, “and what is it that stops you? Fear?”

Ghost clenches his teeth, this conversation feels like pulling them out one by one, “I’m not afraid of him.”

“Wasn’t saying that sir”, Gaz thrums on his boot, “could be rejection, or… shit. Of course.” he stares at Ghost, eyes soft.

“The fuck’s it?” he glares back.

Gaz releases his powers, standing up in front of him, “you need to get over your fear of feeling.”

[Reason to cut: out of character. Wouldn't confront emotions head on. Unnatural for Gaz to just state that, rather have it implied. Not where I wanted Ghost's mentality to go.]

[Context: no idea. Probably after Ghost sent Soap to Limbo, and he gained an immunity to it.]

“We don’t have to be afraid, Simon. You can’t hurt me anymore.” Johnny whispers

[Reason to cut: don't remember.]

Tumblr is starting to lag, which means this post is huge lmao. Again, thank you to each and every one of you! The response to the fic was amazing, I never expected my little revenant AU to turn into something this big!

I loved the experience of writing Not Alive, Nor Dead. You can certainly expect more from me in the future!

For now, I have to focus on uni, and after that I have a few ideas for comics I wanna do. Might make a few oneshots in between, but no big projects like this one just yet!

#revenant au #not tagging everything bc I dont wanna flood them with a post on an au lmao #if youre from ao3 hi!#if youre not... also hi!!!

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vitaminseetarot · 11 months

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PAC: 11/11 Self-Care Messages 🍊🌚🦂

Hey y'all. I'm here to take a brief break from NaNoWriMo (I've been making big progress, I swear!). I've heard from some astrologers that this new moon is going to be rather strong, similar to the energy of the full moon.

After some scouring through the web to find horoscopes that weren't all doom and gloom, I figured now would be a good time to draw some cards for a few wellness messages. This was done to check current mood and energy and suggest healing or wellness methods mainly for stress relief.

I emphasize that if you have a real medical issue, best to take it to a doctor, even if you're thinking it's possibly a psychic thing.

Please choose your pile based on palette color below:

Pile 1 - Tropics Pile 2 - Pinkadelic Pile 3 - Mysterious Night Pile 4 - Solar Energy

Take care~☼

Pile 1: Tropics

The World, Peace, Surrender, Salt Bath, Receive, King of Cups, Knight of Swords, Seven of Coins

So you've done it, or it's been done. You've checked the items off your list. You've asked others if there was more to do only to be met with shaking heads saying "no, but thanks." So what to do now? It's easy to get used to this position of needing to be the big helper all the time. A king of cups taking on the world wants to solve every problem and won't rest until everyone is satisfied. But what would all of that take? Is it worth draining your cup, especially when others are learning to rely on it so much?

Your cards are suggesting a much needed rest time. If it's not a salt bath, then try just resting in bed, a brief sunbath, or a massage therapy session. It's not just resting your body, but your mind. You got two color cards which fell out. Surrender the mind for peace within the body. They're linked in this case. Knight of Swords says whatever happens to one will quickly affect the other. Recovery may take some time so please give yourself space to breathe.

This could be a specific message for some out there. I felt a brief pang in my chest that went away as soon as your reading was finished. I don't usually interpret this Salt Bath card in such a literal way, but… please watch your salt intake, more or less, make sure you're getting iodized salt. Some of you may be worried about doctor's visits? Just make sure you're drinking enough water in between salty meals. Keep your stress levels down, above all.

Take care of your heart health and try not to run yourself ragged with too many assignments and crisis alerts going off (what the heck there's a random phone alarm going off in my house now JUST as I'm typing this! And then it stopped as soon as I got up! Crazy). The message is to not respond to every single call and alarm that goes off okay! You definitely need time to rest, and boundaries for said rest. I mean deeply rest and clear your mind, let yourself suspend from the schedule with some suds. You can't get away to paradise forever, but you can create for yourself a moment in time.

Pile 2: Pinkadelic

Five of Coins, Trust, Bodega Cat, Acceptance, VI The Lovers, XVII Star, Ace of Cups

Tick tock, you've been waiting a while for this to come around in your life. I feel this is strongly a love related reading but let's see. If it's not a romantic partner you're attracting, it's a fresh start at life or spiritual awakening, the feeling of falling in love again with life. You've likely been waiting for a while, stuck in a limbo state, learning how to remain comfortable or at least steady in the unknown. Yet you're eager for that "more" or "other" kind of experience. The type of manifestation that makes life feel magical and new.

You need a quick pep talk. I might get a little cheesy with the message, but here goes: For anyone who has yet to meet you, you are that magic spark in their life. You're radiating the energy of wish making and affection and that has an effect on others around you. You're already on the way to attracting the one who will properly recognize that for you. I'm picking up on a lot of artists in this pile. Your magic seeps through to your art, your aura or energy rubs off onto what you make, and somebody special will see the talent in your work. You have way more talent in the arts than you think.

With that said, the Bodega Cat is a lucky cat here to remind you of your independence. You ultimately don't need anyone to come along and remind you of how amazing your work is. Once you see it for yourself, they will come. Once you see it as done, they will show. Perhaps more than it may seem right now. Just like the cat can be itself and people will show up to pet it and take pictures, whatever you bring forth will carry that same unique charm naturally.

You may be in the mood to go on a shopping spree. Treat yourself to something small and nice, like candy or a new t-shirt, it doesn't have to be extravagant. I recommend affirmations specifically on self-love for you, pile 2. Take a mirror marker and write nice things on your mirror. Pet a lucky cat when one stops by, as well! Sweeten your water with some fresh fruit for a sensual touch. Trust and believe. All of this beautiful magical energy is bursting outwards from you! Accept the wish that's there out in front of you.

Pile 3: Mysterious Night

Three of Swords, Growth, Dandelion, Perspective, XII Hanged Man, King of Swords, X Wheel of Fortune

I can tell that whatever has happened in the last few months, you've taken on a hurdle of challenges to get to where you are now. You've had to learn some harsh lessons, some of which may have felt like they were coming out of nowhere. The word 'Disappointment' was clear and capitalized. It seemed like you took many chances or opportunities on, only to be spun around and left in the dark to figure things out on your own. This last cycle was a particular struggle to build resilience while maintaining the motivation to keep moving toward your goals.

But look, you got both the Growth and Dandelion card in your reading! This is truly signifying how much you've really fought back and continued to nurture yourself in spite of the circumstances thrown in your face over and over. There's a spirit of not giving up even when you let yourself have the chance to process the feeling otherwise. Determination isn't about pretending to be happy in spite of comebacks. Disappointments happen; it's a chance to cry it out before smiling again, it's an umbrella and rain coat to let the day rain from time to time instead of expecting the skies to always stay clear.

You've weathered so much and gained an abundance of wisdom this past season, it's like at this point you're gearing up to be ready for whatever comes next. I don't know if you are necessarily expecting good things to come your way, however. Those might be the very things to sweep you off your feet. Or you may still be too on guard to notice the good luck. It's like the dandelion has gotten acclimated to the cracks, but is it ready for the wheel to turn and for the water to flow in between?

I feel like this whole reading is about being ready for a level up. If you need 999 XP to do so, then right now you're at 900. You're getting to the finish line. But instead of getting too worked up about the end result, however, you've mastered the art of hanging back and waiting for when the time is right. Your new perspective allows you to lay back and take a breather between these strong growth spurts. Remember to stay grounded to your toughened roots, pile 3. Try out grounding exercises and meditations. Spend time out in nature when considering the next moves you're going to make in life. No need to rush this kind of growth.

Pile 4: Solar Energy

Two of Swords, Fear, What You Seek is Seeking You, Change, XV The Devil, Ten of Swords, Seven of Pentacles, Six of Pentacles

I always forget how terrifying the devil card is in this deck lol! In fact I'm seeing and sensing a LOT of fear and anxiety in this pile which is why I went and added an extra tarot card. Six is pentacles on top of the deck is good as it shows help is on the way soon. Remember to stay centered and calm at this time, your chance to heal is coming for you, but you may need to yield some of the resistance behind allowing the change necessary to make way for that healing to occur.

It seems as though your pile conjures images of wanting to see daylight at the end of the tunnel. You feel that change is coming very soon and you're not sure if you're able to handle the next cycle after the one that you've been through. Quite the wringer you've been in for some time… I think a lot of y'all have done some shadow work recently, and it has not been the easiest. It's not always about meditating and journaling. Sometimes it's about seeing how simple, basic fears that are universal to humankind can get distorted and become something much more twisted. When you work past the scary parts, you can see the fear for what it really is. 10 of Swords is Sun in Gemini, learning that sometimes overthinking isn't going to solve the problem, especially when the worst is already past you.

A lot of good things seem to be underway for you even if they're not present at the moment. You've done a fair share of rummaging in the attic and going through all the old, little things. You're going through an extensive clearing out phase. Give yourself the opportunity to put the swords of caution down and accept a gentle wave of positive changes to restructure your life piece by piece.

I'm also getting that this pile may be particularly affected by seasonal affective disorder. Make sure to go out and get some sunlight outside, through windows, or UV lamps. I don't know for sure how Vitamin D supplements would help and you'll want to be careful with St John's Wort if you're on medication, but John's Wort is a good supplement I use for my tea to combat the winter blues. If you sense that your mental state may be getting triggered by lack of sunlight, please look into it.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2023, @VitaminseeTarot ™

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ambyandony · 4 months

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heres the limbo fusions with the rest of the vento aureo main protags

Limbo + Mista

Mimbo - any pronouns

"Are u lost bbygrl? :)"

(They give a weird stare if asked for a full name. They only use Mimbo, even though it’s a combination of Limbo’s forename and Mista’s surname.)

most stable Limbo fusion merely by virtue of Mista’s simple ability to just not give a fuck.

GET YOUR GUN OUT OF YOUR CLEAVAGE!

bitch gon step on my fuckin toe bitch with them fuckin cowgirl fuckin boots

VITALLY important that you know that despite being easily mistaken as fem on first glance, Mimbo also has the deepest voice of any Limbo fusion for literally no reason other than it’s funny to me. They also have sideburns

Stand: Mighty Wings - Redirects Signals. Still a colony Stand, looks like tiny little pastel fighter jets!

Limbo + Abbacchio

Lio Adkio - they/them

“Don’t say SHIT about my mascara or my eyeliner.”

“In fact, don’t fucking look at me or I’ll have to kill you or myselves.”

stable only because when Limbo started panicking in the mindspace, Abbacchio simply pointed and snapped at her to CALM THE FUCK DOWN. and she did so immediately.

nicer than Abbacchio. not by that much, though… but weirdly apologetic about it.

the eyeliner doesn’t appear to be due to crying, it seems that it just looks like that.

bazongas?

Stand: Keeping The Faith? Never Too Late? Shawty like a melody-

“rewinds” signals to previous states or connections and/or can do a “replay” of those signals’ succeeded actions (i.e. having a phone replay a prior conversation) Unfortunately, it’s pretty useless in combat.

Limbo + Giorno

Glimbo Giovadkins - she(?)/they/them

“Wouldn’t you like to hear one of my 765 fun facts about aerodynamics, animals or Air Bud?”

“I also have a few facts about botany, blood and birds.”

stable, until they’re not. they’re incredibly calm and delightful, but when they think someone’s mad at them they panic and start excessively apologising.

genuinely the softest cutest sweetest lil bitch you’ve ever seen. also traumatised with a guilty conscience and can flip on a dime in a terrifying way.

shortest Limbo fusion for no clear reason? shorter than both Limbo and Giorno.

Squalo’s worst fear.

sounds pretty much how you would expect.

Stand: Crystal Dolphin - can transform signals into life—by taking the signals out of something, typically disabling it, they can create life like Gold Experience can. The more complex the device, the bigger its potential creation.

Limbo + Buccellati

Bimbo Luno Adkellati - they/them

"...I've lost the conversation. I'm gonna go make pizza!"

Megan Thee Stallion?!

has no idea what’s going on for some reason? always looks a little confused and loses track of conversations very quickly.

very good with kids! practically unable to have a coherent conversation with Abbacchio. They don’t seem too distressed, but they just stop making much sense and seem to confuse themselves.

Stand: When Doves Cry? Perhaps Freewill? Uhm… I don’t know? Maybe it can sort of, ‘zip’ signals together, combining two or more functions into one sent signal? Bruno's ability is just so specific... I can't think of many ideas.

Limbo + Fugo

Fimbo (Pannalimbo Adkigo) - they/them

"STOP TALKING ABOUT FREUD BEFORE I KILL YOU WITH MY FUCKING BRACELETS!!!"

( Note: all currently depicted instances of Fimbo seem to be post-PHF, as Fimbo is almost always seen with the mouth scars hidden by the tattoo.)

enemy of the state. punches fascists. lovecore punk goth. in terms of authority figures they only respect Buccellati and Limbo’s dad.

AuDHD trauma poster child. Short fuse but very friendly until something sets them off and they start screaming and or burst into fucking tears.

Self-love in the sense that the fusionmates care about each other deeply and both sides are trying to look out for the other knowing the other won't look out for themself.

Stand: Cabin Fever - Terrifying deathly virus that, rather than being airborne like Purple Haze, is passed though signal transmission. Fimbo doesn’t know if the virus is the same as Purple Haze, a different strain of it, or something entirely different. It spreads most quickly through vocal communication between two people.

Limbo + Narancia

Nimbus Ghirgins - he/they/she

"tummyache... :("

Libby why does my stomach feel like it’s going to fucking collapse in on itself and why are my knuckles torn? aren’t they supposed to bruise when you punch?

bad relationship with food. Hanahaki disease, what are you doing here? (/ij)

sometimes they find Mista sitting around, sit next to him and fall asleep on him immediately

incredibly bad with emotions and doesn’t even get angry they just get overwhelmed instantly at any presence of significant emotion

Stand: Falling in Love/Hard on the Knees - who the fuck let this kid control CO2 emissions?? They can barely control themselves???

#jjba #back on my fusion bullshit #i think they are goiung to take me away soon applejack #vento aureo #pannacotta fugo #narancia ghirga #guido mista #bruno buccellati #bruno bucciarati #team buccellati #leone abbacchio #giorno giovanna #jjba oc #jojo oc #Limbo Adkins #fanstands #amby draws #my art #cw: ed #tw ed implied #see limbos got an ED but all other components are able to handle or 'alleviate' that in a semi-casual way #Mistas carefree attitude comes with a lot less insecurity and mista loves to cook while limbo will eat anything he cooks if shes offered it #in the case of Lio Abbacchio actually has most of the control because limbo is scared of/respects him (for some reason)#but they're mentally unstable and generally concerning for other reasons #namely lacking a will to live #glimbo sort of does a whole steven universe here-comes-a-thought type business to address the problems directly as much as they can #lunos parental instincts override everything else so anytime they dont know what to do theyre like #mm im gonna go cook. and then as a result they end up eating just because That's The Way Things Work #fimbo is (as mentioned) a fusion where the two sides know the other won't care for themself. So both sides are caring for each other instea #also fugo establishes a routine and both of these audhd bitches know if they deviate from the routine they will explode

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halsteadlover · 2 years

Text

Locked In part. II

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x F!Reader.

• Requested: yes, by anon.

• Warnings: mention of blood, swearing, angst.

• Word count: 3879.

• A/N: this is part 2 of 3. I hope you’ll like it. Thank you so much for you support, the love I received lately has been so overwhelming I can’t really stress enough how much I’m grateful for every single one of you ❤️ Let me know what do you think about this piece, like, comment and reblog if you want, it’d be amazing. Love you all xx

<- Part one

Jay was on the verge of losing his mind.

He had always been a patient type, after all he was a sniper, patience must’ve been a virtue, but at that moment, knowing you were in that prison and in who knew what state, he couldn't sit still. He didn't know if you were okay, if you were hurt, if you were still hidden and that state of limbo made him lose his mind.

“What the hell are we waiting for?! We have to get in!” exclaimed an angry and impatient Jay, approaching Voight and the rest of the team. They were all armed and equipped with their bulletproof vests as they, together with the tactical team, worked out the best plan for the break-in.

“Halstead you need to calm down. We're all worried about her but we can't break in like this, there's a riot in there and if we suddenly break in we could make it worse,” Voight replied, knowing the more time went on, the harder it would’ve been to keep Jay calm.

“Don't fucking tell me to stay calm, it's your fault she's in danger!” he almost yelled at his boss “You shouldn't have sent her there! Not alone! I told you I'd go with her and now God only knows what happened to her!”

“Halstead, choose your next words carefully,” Voight admonished him, staring at him with menacing eyes but Jay didn't let himself be influenced, he was too angry.

“Or what? What are you going to do sarge?” Jay spat through gritted teeth, walking over to Voight at which point Adam and Kevin intervened, pushing Jay away before he could do something he would regret. “If anything happens to her you'll pay for it,” he continued, pointing a finger at him, and god if he meant every word he said.

“Okay man that’s enough, come with me,” Adam pulled him away.

“Let me go!” Jay exclaimed, shaking off his friend's hands. He ran his hands over his face, furious, afraid.

“Jay, listen to me alright? Y/N will be fine, she's strong, and she'll find a way to protect herself, we know her,” Adam spoke. “We're all worried about her, but we need to stay as calm as possible.”

“Calm? What the fuck are you talking about Ruz? How the fuck do you stay calm knowing one of us is locked in there and risking his life? We're out here and she might be fucking dead!” the very thought that you could… No, no, it couldn't be, you were fine, you had to be fine.

“I know you are worried about her because you care so much about her, she is your partner…”

“She's not just my fucking partner, I fucking love her! Don’t you understand it?! I can't be without her, I can't be here while God only knows what they're doing to her!” Jay almost screamed at him, stopping because of the lump in his throat, tears filling his eyes as he tried to be strong. “Adam...” he continued to speak, in a lower tone of voice “If something should happen to her...”

“No Jay,” Adam interrupted him, placing his hands on his shoulders, his heart ache to see his friend in that state “Don't say it even as a joke, she's fine and she'll be fine, c'mon we know her, she's Y/N, she'll find a way to protect herself, and whatever happens she's strong, she knows we're coming… That you're coming.”

Jay didn't answer, looked down for a moment and wiped away the single tear that slid down his cheek with one hand.

“And, Jay, can I tell you something?”

He nodded, bringing his eyes, now red and shiny, back to Adam.

“We all knew that. You are a very good detective but you are not good at hiding your feelings. The only ones who haven't figured it out are you and her.”

“Her?”.

“You're really dumb man,” Adam chuckled, returning his hands to his sides “You really don’'t realize it don’t you?”.

Jay shook his head, his heart pounding.

“That woman dotes on you Halstead and we've all seen it and believe me she loves you as much as you love her.”

Jay felt his cheeks burn. Did you really feel what he felt for you? Did you really love him too? He couldn't believe it.

“So get a grip and focus Halstead, she needs you now and you can't lose your mind. We will save her and you will tell her how much you love her and she will too, okay?”

Jay nodded as a storm of emotion washed over him. He wanted you. He wanted so much to see you again, hug you, hold you like he had never done before, he missed you so much. He was so scared, it was like air was missing from his lungs and never in his life had he felt similar emotions.

“I don't know if I can Adam…” he whispered, trying not to get overwhelmed by the urge to cry. “I just… I just want her back…”

Adam hugged him in response, patting his shoulder. He wasn't very good with words but that was his way of telling him he was there, that everything would be fine.

“I know it's hard Jay,” Adam murmured, pulling away from the hug “But like I said she needs you more than anyone in the world right now, she’s waiting for you to come and save her and you can't let fear win, not now. Once we’ll save her you can do whatever you want, you can cry, scream, destroy things, but now you have to focus on her and what you can do to get in there and save her,” he continued, looking in his eyes and pointing to the cursed prison that was behind them. “We'll get her back, you'll get her back and you’ll tell her how you feel about her.”

Jay nodded again, this time with more conviction. Adam was right, about everything.

“I just need a couple of minutes.”

Adam smiled slightly. “That's my man. We’llwaiting for you.”

The team, along with that tactics and SWAT, had decided on a silent approach, some agents would enter from the roof and would descend into the wing where the riot was taking place, capturing and handcuffing every prisoner they came across and sealing every possible escape route. Other agents would instead enter through the main and secondary entrances, also using the factor of surprise to capture the detainees and finally surround them.

No one had any idea what would be in there, how many victims there would be, how many wounded.

Jay didn't care at all about the other inmates, he had entered there with the sole purpose of finding you but the more time passed and he didn't find you, the more anxiety grew.

Every corridor he walked down, every step he took, he felt his heart beat so hard in his chest, and never before had he felt such a sensation, such a turbulent state of mind.

He didn't know what to expect. Were you okay? Were you hurt? Were you hiding? The fact he hadn't heard from you anymore was worrying him to death, deep down he knew something had happened, he just didn't want to admit it, he didn't want to accept it.

His worst fears came true when an inmate approached him, a look of terror on his face.

“Chicago PD raise your hands! Against the wall!” Jay exclaimed, pointing the gun at him and not even letting him speak. The young inmate raised his hands in surrender, stammering and trying to find words as he saw a series of officers point their weapons at him.

“I… Wait… You're from the police…” he murmured stating the obvious.

“I won't say that again, face against the wall and hands behind my back,” Jay threatened, not in the least mood to waste precious time.

“The cop… The woman…” the boy stammered and Jay's eyes widened. There was no shadow of a doubt that he was talking about you.

“Where is she? Where is she?!” Jay almost yelled. He put down his gun and approached the inmate, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and slamming him against the wall. “I swear if you even touched a single hair…”

“No! Good heavens no! I didn’t do anything!” the inmate interrupted him “An inmate was beating her and... I... I took her to a safe space...”

Those words were like a punch in Jay's stomach. He tried to hold back his emotions, but he promised himself if he ever found the man who dared hurt you, he would pay dearly.

“Where is she now? Is she fine?”.

“She's in the kitchen, I hid her there, but you have to follow me.”

Jay let go of the man and began to follow him as he made his way through the corridors of that wing, trying not to be seen by other inmates. He tried to ignore the fact the young prisoner didn’t answer the question if you were fine, because you had to be fine, it couldn't be otherwise.

When he walked into the kitchen Jay's heart stopped beating for a second, his nightmares just coming true. You were lying on the ground, unconscious.

“No, no, no, no,” Jay murmured as he rushed over to you, kneeling beside your body. You'd been beaten, your face cut and bruised, your eye swollen, your hands scratched defensively, and your shirt was slightly lifted. With horror Jay realized you had been kicked in the belly judging by the huge bruises you had on your abdomen and he didn't even dare to imagine how much you suffered from the pain.

He immediately alerted the rest of the team and called for help through his transceiver, all while the prisoner watched the scene not far from him.

“Y/N, please wake up, please please,” Jay said, grabbing your face in his hands, stroking your battered skin and hair. “How long has she been unconscious?” he asked addressing the young prisoner without looking at him.

“I don't know... I think half an hour or something more...”

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Baby please open your eyes for me, open your beautiful eyes. Don't do this to me, I’m begging you...” he whispered “Everything will be fine, can you hear me? I'm here now, I won't leave you alone anymore. I'm so sorry I wasn't here to protect you, I had to be here, I shouldn't have let you come alone, please forgive me...”

“You'll be fine okay? Everything will be fine, help is on the way and you will recover. Don't you dare play tricks on me, I… I need you so much baby… Please…”

Subsequent events happened so fast that it was difficult for him to even realize it. With no small amount of difficulty, the paramedics arrived and immediately transported you to the hospital. Jay didn't leave your side even for a second, he came in the ambulance with you not wanting to leave you alone for even a second.

“Why is she still not waking up?” Jay asked the paramedics concerned.

“The head trauma was severe but the GCS is good and we believe she just passed out. The thing that worries us the most, however, is that most likely with all the kicks received there may be internal bleeding or that some organ has been injured.”

“And is it… Is it dangerous?” Jay asked knowing full well the answer.

“We need to get to the hospital as soon as possible,” the paramedic replied, looking Jay in his eyes, not directly answering his question but letting him know that if you arrived late the situation could have been irreversible.

“How long has she been unconscious?”.

“For about 45 minutes, before I found her half hour.”

With everything that happened Jay didn't even think to ask the name of that young inmate and thank him for saving your life.

As soon as you arrived at the hospital, you were immediately transported to have a CT scan and an MRI. Jay was in the waiting room as he paced back and forth like a maniac, impatient and worried sick.

He kept praying that you were okay, that you’d recover soon. You were such a strong person, he knew you wouldn't give up easily, that you would fight for your life.

He took off his bulletproof vest, which he only then realized he was still wearing, before throwing it on one of the chairs in the waiting rooms.

The image of you lying on the ground, unconscious, covered in bruises and cuts, was imprinted in his mind, and he couldn't get it out of his mind. You were always smiling, always happy despite the disgust your work made you surround yourselves with, and seeing you in that state was something he’d never forget.

The next few hours passed so slowly and quickly at the same time, as if he was in a state of limbo, where nothing could be done but wait.

The rest of the team arrived at the hospital, and just seeing Voight brought back the initial anger Jay felt. None of this would have ever happened if he had sent him with you, if he hadn't sent you alone to that damn prison.

He didn't even bother to ask how things had gone in the prison, if the riot had been contained because, the truth was, he didn't care about anyone or anything, except you who were on a hospital bed in bad shape.

The lights in your room blinded you as you regained consciousness, opening your eyes. It took a moment for your vision to adjust, although your right eye was still swollen. You looked around as your mind tried to retrace the latest events that had occurred.

You remembered there had been a riot in the prison, you remembered being beaten by a prisoner who wanted to abuse you but you did not remember how or when you arrived on that hospital bed.

Your ribs hurt so bad and it felt like spears were stabbing you and breathing turned out to be more painful than you ever imagined, plus your head was pounding like you were being hit with a hammer.

You turned your head to the side and seeing Jay sitting in a chair next to you made your stomach turn upside down. He was sitting with his arms folded across his chest, his eyes half closed as if he was resting. You noticed he was wearing the same clothes you had seen him in that morning – so you deduced that it hadn't been as long as you felt – and his trousers were covered in dust.

What had he been up to?

Was he the one who saved you?

The thought made you smile although this action, simple as it was, was quite painful.

You reached out to him, and as best you could, so you stroked his forearm. Your touch snapped him awake in his chair, his gaze automatically landing on you. His eyes widened and he almost had a heart attack upon realizing you were awake and watching him.

“Oh my God, oh my God,” he almost stammered, in disbelief and relief like he'd never been before. “Y/N… Holy shit, you finally woke up! How are you? You feel pain? Wait, I'll call the doctor.”

He leapt to his feet and ran out of the room before you even had a chance to answer or say anything. This made you giggle.

After the doctor examined you, Jay re-entered your room and sat down in the chair next to you again.

“How are you?” you asked in a weak tone of voice, noting his initial silence. He took your hand, stroking your injured and still red knuckles, and leaned his cheek on the back of your hand, still intertwined with his.

“I should be the one asking you that,” he replied with a small smile, but it was a dull smile, it didn't involve his eyes.

“That bastard was strong, it hurts a bit when I breathe.”

He didn’t say said anything, he just looked down for a moment. He needed a moment of silence, he needed to regain control over his body because if he looked at you for another second then he’d probably lose every ounce of rationality he possessed.

“Do I look that bad?” you joked but your expression immediately returning serious when he brought his eyes back to yours and you noticed how shiny his eyes were.

Oh God.

“Y/N…” he muttered, trying to hold back and keep his composure but failing miserably. “I thought I lost you, I was so scared.”

“Oh Jay, but I'm here, you won't lose me I promise. Don't ever think you can get rid of your partner so easily.”

“No, no,” he shook his head slightly “You don't understand… I… Shit, you made me worry to death Y/N, I've never been so scared in my entire life, not even during the war, I don’t think I've never had this fucking fear of losing someone so important to me like today.”

Your heart was pounding as he spoke and if you hadn't already been lying on the bed, you probably would’ve passed out.

“Jay…”

“Wait, wait, I’m sorry, I need to finish… I need to tell you how I feel because it's eating me alive, I can't take it anymore.”

“What?” you whispered.

“Pretending I don't feel anything for you, pretending you're just my partner, pretending every time I see you you don’t make me lose every inch of control,” he spat out, “I've thought about telling you this so many times, you deserve so much more than all of this, but I really can't take it anymore. I've been so scared of losing you and never seeing you again and not having the opportunity to tell you everything I feel for you and I'm sorry I'm doing it this way, you probably won't understand anything,” he paused for a second before continuing “I… Y/N… When you called Voight I felt like dying, like a piece of my heart was being ripped out of me, and I know that sounds unbelievable and pathetic but this is just the truth. I've totally lost my mind, I wasn’t able to think straight because all I could do was think of you alone in that damn prison. And when I saw you… God… I think I died and rose and died again within minutes…”

“I thought the worst, I thought I would never see you again, that I would never see your beautiful eyes again and I died inside, the pain that just this thought caused me is not in the least explainable. I can't be without you Y/N, and today I had the confirmation, I can't imagine to exist in a world where you're not a part of and I don't care about the consequences of what I'm saying, that you probably won't feel all the same, that i'm probably ruining the best thing that has ever happened in my life but… I… I fucking love you, I love you like I've never loved anyone else in my life, I love you so much I can't even stand anymore next to you and pretend like nothing’s happening. You entered my mind and my heart in such a deep way I can't do anything anymore without thinking about what it would be like to do it with you and I really don't know how you did it, how you made me fall so madly in love with you,” he spoke, not even realizing what he was saying, “But you are the most important person in my life and I love you to death Y/N, I love everything about you, every single aspect, how you move, how you talk, how you stammer when you're nervous, how you're so clumsy sometimes I even wonder how you hold a gun in your hand, how you smile, how your face lit up when I bring you coffee, how you twirl a strand of hair with your fingers while you're focused, how you nibble on your pen when you're writing a case report, and when you laugh, God, you make me lose my fucking mind…”

You didn't realize the mess you were, the way you were crying. You couldn't believe it, if it had to be a dream you never wanted to wake up. Everything you wanted and ever wanted had just happened.

Jay Halstead loved you, he had feelings for you and God how stupid you felt because you had wasted so much time, time when you could be happy and be together instead of looking at each other from afar and thinking how much you both loved each other.

“Jay… I…”

But before you even had the opportunity to say something and tell him how stupid he was, how much you loved him too, how hard it was for you too to look at him, hug him, thinking he didn't feel the same things you did, but apparently that day fate wasn’t on your side. In fact you heard a knock on the door, which opening revealed the rest of the team who joyfully welcomed you, not realizing what they had actually interrupted.

As much as you loved each member of the team, at the time you cursed them for interrupting you and Jay, who stepped away from you to give the others room to say hello.

He kept his gaze down, standing to the side as he listened to the others talk and try to cheer you up.

A shocked expression appeared on your face when suddenly he left, without saying a single word and without even looking at you and it was in vain to call him.

“What's wrong with him?” Kevin asked, looking at you in confusion like you could answer the question.

“I really don't know,” you sighed, not really knowing what to say and what the hell did just happen.

-> Part Three

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