#and i’ll do my more standard DRs as well

[spinjitzunerd78]

Places I want to shift to but make it ✨niche✨

Eastenders

There’s two time storylines I’d wanna shift to. Circa 2016-2018 with Keegan, Shakil, Bex, Louise (the last good set of teens in Walford). Or the same time period but with Ben, Jay, Lola and Johnny (the young adults). Idk why but I just want to be besties with Ben Mitchell.

Waterloo Road

Another place with two storylines I’d wanna shift to. Either S6 to be with Finn Sharkey. Or S9 to hang out with Barry, Dynasty, Imogen, Connor and Kevin. To experience Rachel Mason as a head teacher will be the best thing ever. I’ve had a lucid dream about going bowling w/ Finn, Josh, Amy and Lauren so that is a scenario in my script.

Carmen Sandiego

I’d join as the team medic or something. Hanging out with Zack, Ivy and Carm will be incredible.

My Babysitter’s a Vampire

The fact that this show was cancelled is criminal. I’ve never imagined myself in a friendship group so much as with these guys. I’d even get along with Rory!

Winx Club

My childhood. The aesthetic. The vibe. The outfits. To be one of the winx and friends with the specialists. Incredible.

[just-a-jock]

Doctors appointment

You’ve always hated the doctors office and appointments. Something about waiting around, taking off work early or even entirely just to be told to get some rest always bothered you. After getting your new insurance your friends and family kept pressing for you to get your yearly physical and ended up crumbling to the pressure. You looked online for the first appointment that wouldn’t interior your work and found a 7PM appointment with Dr.Hendrix.

You were happy to find an appointment outside of normal working outs and shocked to even see it was available but you immediately booked it. Cut to today where you are walking into the clinic, Hendrixxx MD. You saw on the sign sounds more like a porn studio than a doctors office. After checking in, the abnormally attractive nurse showed you to the patient room.

As you sat down you looked around the room filled with pictures of insanely buff gay men all partying

“All my patients, aren’t they attractive”

You jump in the chair from being surprised and then turn around and see the attractive 20-something in doctor getup.

“Hi, my name is Dr. Hendrix. I’ll be helping you today” he said we a confidence of a high school jock. He reached out to shake your hand as you see his shirt strain with every movement clear sign of someone who buys their shirt once size too small.

“It’s nice to meet you” you respond shyly as he smirks

“Now let’s see you’re here for your physical…. Okay can you please change out of your clothes and into this” he said rummaging through his drawer until he pulled out a small beige color brief.

“Uh…. What is that. I’m not putting that on” you respond with a bit of worry and shock

“This is standard for any physical preformed in my clinic. I have to inspect your body and skin and I can’t do that with your clothes on. If you don’t want to then we can cancel this appointment but you will be charged the channel fee which is 200% of the service without insurance” he responded smirking almost like he’s said this exact spiel before.

“And how much would that be” you respond

“Well a normal physical here cost $550 per session so you would have to pay $1100.”

You swallow knowing you don’t have enough in your savings to pay that. After sometime you decide what’s the worse that can happen you do have to get a physical anyways and you are already here. You grab the pair from his hand as he smirks watching you walk to the small bathroom in the office.

Inside you start to change out of your clothes and take a glance at the brief before you put it on. The material felt like spandex very similar to the speedos those annoying instagays wear while at the beach. On the top right corner near the groin you noticed the brand name “Jake”. Finally you put the briefs on, feeling the slick Lycra material against your skin especially against your cock making you shiver.

As you walk back in the exam room you see the doctor smile.

“Great, please sit down and we can begin” he said patting on the examination chair

As you sit down on the cold table as Dr. Hendrix looked over your body and going back and forth from his clipboard. He begins touching your body all over specify your biceps, pecs and abs. You were about to say something until…

“So unfortunately you do have a condition called male hypogonadism. Basically your body doesn’t produce enough testosterone.”

You look at him with shock. You have always been healthy and your precious doctors have never mentioned anything about low testosterone.

“ just to confirm I’m going to need to take a look at your testicles” he said

“What? No, why?” You replied in shock and confusion

“Due to your testicles being the center of testosterone production it would give me a better picture”

After taking sometime to ponder you decide to go with it as you wanted to avoid anything bad in the future. You pull down the briefs and let him inspect your private area. You looked at the ceiling trying to avoid eye contact while examined your parts. You felt like he was down there for a while until you felt a sharp pain right in your balls. Quickly looking down your eye widen seeing a needle being struck inside your sack. Inside the syringe was a semi-viscous off-white liquid being slowly pushed inside. Before you’re even able to react the entirety of the needle has been injected into your balls. You finally push back the doctor and fall back onto the chair quickly pulling up the briefs.

“WHAT THE FUCK, what did you put into me” you scream at him as he gets up from the ground with a smirk

“Calm down, I injected you with a testosterone booster to help your body produce more testosterone naturally”

“I DID NOT GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO DO THAT, I’m going to fucking report you to the medical board and get to clinic closed” you said putting your hands on the side of the chair about to get up

“You really can’t make this easy” he replied as he pressed a button underneath his desk. 4 clamps came out of the chair you were sitting at and locked themselves around your wrist and legs. You fight against the restraints but seem to be holding you tighter the more you fought.

“Now that I finally have you settled I can explain to you the procedure. Normally have plenty of guys coming to my office looking for testosterone boosters to help them bulk up but you just wanted a regular check up. Well I couldn’t have someone like you be a regular at my clinic and representing my work so I decided to change you to be more like the others that come out of her”

“ You won’t fucking get away with this freak, let me go!” You shout at him and simultaneously asking for help.

“Oh but I had even a better idea. My clinic finally got access to a trail run of this new medication which is Testosterone replacement therapy and that’s what I inject in you. Basically the medication is mixed with DNA and injected into the subject. Slowly the medication will rewrite the subjects DNA into the provided template. Of course I wanted to try this out first so I decide for you to be my test dummy.”

Your eyes widen as you realize what he is doing to you.

“Haha yes I inject some of my semen inside your testicle and soon the process will start wor…”

“AHHHH” you screamed as he was caught off. You immediately starts to feel a sharp hot heat radiating from your cock and balls. “Fuck fuck what did you do to me” you say with your eyes closed. Your body starts to involuntarily start to buck in the air.

“I guess the show has started” he responds smirking and siting back in his desk chair

With the repeated bucking in the air you start to notice your cock get insanely hard straining against the speedo. Your balls start to pull like they have their own heart beat. Slowly your cock starts to expand past it’s normal hard state creating a noticeable bulge in the speedo, the growing balls behind it don’t help in hiding it either as it continues to push your cock to forefront of the brief creating a perfect outline of your cock. You feel inside your ball changing as if your old cum is being destroyed. Your cum factories are being invaded and being modified to produce a foreigners substance. The pulsing starts to increased as you knew it has finally taken over and has started to produce the new boosted testosterone. The hormones starts to travel through your body ready to modify the rest to the provided template

“Please…. Stop..” you’re able to squirm before the change continue on.

Next your body hair starts to fall out leaving your body smooth like those typical gay fuckboys you see all over the beach. Though you notice certain areas actually increase in volume and of course the typical fetish zones. Your armpit hair starts to puff up becoming dark and noticeable from a far. And lastly you lock down as your pubes starts to climb up like ivy on a wall until they rest just above the briefs taunting anyone looking at your cock.

As your body hair finishes up the hormone start to target the main cause of gay desire, your muscles. Slowly your legs start to inflate growing large and strong like you have been doing squats since your teenage years along with your ass growing outwards and making your seat a little more comfortable. You do notice your hole slightly relax cementing yourself as the perfect verse . Your biceps grow along to match your new legs until they are the size of footballs. Next you feel the changes concentrate on your core as a set of washboard abs start to manifest on the service of your stomach perfectly completing the exposed pubes from before. You even notice them growing a little more upwards to perfect the change. Lastly came the beautiful set of pecs which started to pump outwards matching the pulses of your balls. They finally create a nice shelf over your abs as your nipples darken and start to point outward. The changes to your muscles settle as your body looks identical to the hot doctor in front of you. You open your eyes and look around thinking the changes are over until your balls start to pulsate once again. The sensation travels up your body until your head feels a massive pressure. Slowly your bone structure starts to morph mimicking that of the doctors. Your lips plump outwards ready to introduce every and all cocks it can find. Your cheekbones move upwards giving you a sharp face and a semi permanent smile. All the fat melts away from your neck leaving behind a jawline that can cut glass and a prominent adams apple. The changes settle thinking the last of it has happened and pleading to the doctor to change you back.

“Please please, I don’t want this. I want to be me” you beg of him

“Oh don’t worry, you’re going to love your life after a while and you won’t even remember your old one” he said pressing another button as the restraints pull you down forcing you to lay backside to the chair as you stair at the ceiling. You hear him opening his drawer again and rummaging around until he starts to walk over to you.

“Now this is the final step before you become the perfect clone” he said placing a pair of oil spill colored glasses. You scream as he slowly places the glass onto your face until they sit perfect. You immediately quiet down as he smirks know it’s working.

Your eyes are forced open as inside the glasses start to display videos of memories foreign to you. All you can do is grunt trying to fight back from these new memories forcing them selfs inside your brain replacing your old. Your mind is completely enthralled and you almost don’t notice the doctor has pulled down your speedo and whispers something under his breath

This will help the reprogramming along. He places something over his….. your cock. You start to freak out knowing the reprogramming has started to take effect your mind not being able to between him and yourself. As he ticks the speedo back into place you notice this foreign object get right around the base of your cock and slowly start to buzz creating an orgasmic feeling making your mind even weaker and more susceptible to the brainwashing.

Your mouth opens as the video starts to play more explicit images and videos. Guys fucking, partying, doing drugs everything typical of a circuit party gay. The buzzing gets even stronger during these parts causing you to moan. Soon your cock starts to produce precum creating a large wet spot at the front of the cream colored brief. Finally with the last of the programming finishing up you finally see

CUM

With that your body shakes as your cock shoots loads of your old cum all over the inside of your speedo which is quickly soaked up. The doctor finally releases you from the restraints as your body gets up you realize you can still hear, feel and see everything but your body does not respond to your thoughts.

“It worked perfectly. You’re a 1 to 1 replica of myself. Now the technology of the reprogramming is still in being worked on so I’ll need you to keep the glasses on for now. Understood”

“yes” your body responds in a foreign voice and against your will

“Great, now here are my keys and I booked you.. I mean me a flight to Hawaii. I’m going to need you to post content on our profile and make sure to tell guys about our clinic. Now enjoy”

Your body leaves the room still in your speedo. The nurse at the front smirks knowing what just happened.

.

.

.

A few weeks later you are staying at a resort working out in the complimentary outdoor gym. You noticed some guy keeps looking at you throughout your workout. He finally comes up to you while you’re working on the dumbbells

“Wow you’re built as hell bro. Got any tips?” He asked

“Haha come to my room and I can show you” I replied smirking as he got the hint.

[leafofkudzu]

Happy soon-to-be Spring, everyone! I hope this short month has treated you well, because the first Saturday of March is approaching fast, meaning it's time for another art party hosted by my guild, Verdant Shield [VS]! I ran some numbers and realized we've only had one party in charr lands, so it's time to rectify that imbalance over at the coziest little guild trek target, Anya's Strawberry Patch in Diessa Plateau!

For those who aren’t familiar with art parties, they’re a concept carried over from Final Fantasy XIV - in-game get-togethers for artists/writers/creatives of all types to hang out, chat, and create together! Get your favorite character/look together, head to the location, find someone that catches your eye, and create! Afterwards, everyone posts their creations in a shared tag (ours is #VSArtParty) so others can see, interact, and share! Tl;dr: the ‘goal’ of an art party isn’t to be drawn, but to draw others, and share with the community!

Time and /squadjoin information is under the cut, but will also be posted again via reblogs as the squads go up on the day of the party!

Location Information:

Anya's Strawberry Patch isn't a PoI on a map, but it is a guild trek target, which means the wiki has a reference on how to get over there. To save you a click, it's a little jumping puzzle to get into a pipe behind the Town of Nolan in Diessa Plateau (take Nolan Waypoint), but if you have a mount you can just go directly to the pipe without having to do any fancy footwork. Pass through that and it'll spit you out basically right on top of the party location! I'll be marking the pipe entrance via squad markers like in the below image, so if you can't find it just hop into squad and it should light right up!

Time & Squad Details:

As we always do, we’ll be having two parties - one on EU servers and one on NA ones - with an hour break in between. People tend to arrive early and/or jump between accounts as soon as the break comes up, so don’t be surprised to see tags and announcements going up ahead of schedule!

The first party will be on EU servers and begin at 9pm Central European Time (aka 3pm Eastern Standard Time or 4 hours before in-game reset). I’ll be hosting on my EU alt account, so to join either /squadjoin or whisper Stormcaller Nell for an invite.

The second party will be on NA servers and begin at 7pm Eastern Standard Time (aka 1am Central European Time or at in-game reset). I’ll be hosting this one on my main account, so to join either /squadjoin or whisper Lorn Dustpaw for an invite.

Closing Words:

Sorry for the delay in getting this post out, I've been away on a trip and just got back! I also may have spent more time than I should have trying to decide which character(s) I wanted to host with - I'm jealous of you guys who do character polls leading up to things. :P

Anyway, I say this every time but really truly thank you everyone who comes out to these, you guys are what makes these things fun! I look forward to seeing you all on Saturday, take care and see you soon! ♥

[tweedlebugged]

Yes, yes, James Somerton’s videos are down, the evil is defeated, etc etc. But honestly I’m just mad that I’ll never be able to back up my theory that the origin story of his whole bizarre “Sexy Nazis invented fitness culture” thing was just him ripping off the podcast Maintenance Phase. Badly.

(Almost like he built a career off stealing from other queer creators and not checking his sources or something idk)

If you haven’t had a chance to listen yet, Maintenance Phase is an extensively researched podcast from two queer writers (this may sound familiar) Michael Hobbes and Aubrey Gordon, dedicated to debunking myths about health and wellness. The very FIRST episode contains the facts:

1) The Nazis were very concerned about fitness due to fascism-based views of the body, and engaged in group exercise similar to modern calisthenics classes.

2) This kind of group fitness was closely associated with the Nazis in the consciousness of Americans, partially because of Nazi propaganda films portraying it.

3) Americans were less measurably fit than Europeans because they didn’t do the same kind of group exercises, and this was attributed to American softness.

Hypothetically: If you are a lazy asshole who built a career stealing from more talented creators and recounting a funhouse version of history based on half-remembered facts you don’t bother to verify, you very well might have only absorbed those facts initially and come to the weird hot Nazi conclusion (if you’re into that I guess?)

Or MAYBE you do kind of remember (hypothetically!) the actual sequence of described in the episode - that because Nazis were associated with group fitness activities due to propaganda films etc, American physical education turned really quickly from similar styles of group fitness to less regimented exercise activities like sports. This shift meant American children performed more poorly on standardized physical fitness measurements than European children, which was blamed on American softness/decadence.

But this doesn’t support your pre-existing (hot Nazi???) biases, so you cherry pick only the facts that you can distort into a conclusion that DOES. (This may also sound familiar.) Hypothetically!!!

For bonus points! I’m pretty sure the connection between poverty, nutrient poor and carb rich diets, and fatness is also something they’ve discussed in other episodes, but unrelated to the depression or hot Nazis or less hot Soviets (taken with a grain of salt because I am tragically also kind of a lazy asshole just going off half-remembered vibes on this one)

TL;DR: If you heard the bit where James Somerton claimed that sexy Nazis inspired Americans to create modern fitness culture and thought “that doesn’t sound right but I don’t know enough about fitness and the Nazis to dispute it” you should check out Maintenance Phase because I’m pretty sure it’s both uncited source and debunking rolled into one.

[tgmsunmontue]

You need to learn how to fall 5/10

Hangster (and IceMav) - Bradley is too tall to be a naval aviator and instead becomes a sky diver, specialising in spin recovery. He is a civilian contractor to the Air Force and Navy to teach pilots how to survive parachute spins from ejections. A more in-depth version of this post.

PROLOGUE 2003-2006 2007-2010 2011-2015

HEADS UP - I only post Part 4 yesterday so you might have missed it

2016

Prologue Take 2 - 2016 onwards

                “Ice! Do you know a Lieutenant Colonel Sanderson?”

                “That’s an Air Force rank…” Tom mutters, looking up at Bradley who is standing in the door to his office wearing nothing but a pair of basketball shorts. He can see the bruises and scars that Bradley’s acquired in the past and more recently. Sometimes the lack of formality annoys him but also seeing him alive will always outweigh that annoyance as it quickly fades into fondness.

                “I’m aware of that, I just have an email from him asking me to call him to discuss coming and training their Special Forces…”

                “What? Why is the Air Force contacting you?” Tom asks, suddenly concerned.

                “I know it hasn’t escaped your notice, but I am the forerunner expert in FMM, HALO and HAHO practices. As well as standard parachute deployment, spin recovery and the physics of jumping out of planes in general. I know you read my thesis and watched me defend it. I just wanted to know if you maybe put in a good word.”

                “No, I didn’t. Did you want me to? Wait. You’re considering it?”

                “Of course I’m considering it. This is where I can hopefully have some more impact, rather than simply develop training guides.”

                “Would you come and do the same with us?”

                “With the Navy? Of course I would. Going to bug you that the Air Force got in first though huh?”

                It does a little, and he knows Bradley can likely tell from his facial expression.

                “I’m a civilian, I can do both. Hell, toss the Army in the there as well. You know I’ll always be a Navy man at heart.”

…             …             …

                “Dr Bradshaw, nice to meet you. Thank you for agreeing to do this.”

                “Glad to be of service. My step-father is a little piqued that the Air Force jumped the Navy, but have to reward the forward thinking of the Air Force and Army wanting better training for their Special Forces.”

                “Would I know your step-father?”

                “I don’t know. Do you know Admiral Kazansky sir?”

                That gets him a double take and Bradley grins, because taking people by surprise will never get old.

…             …             …

                Pete goes along the first time Bradley teaches at the Pensacola flight school, watches him take the class and some of the aviators are older than him but he commands their respect in the same way Ice does, quiet, confident and simply expects respect. It’s impressive and he messages Ice and tells him that their son is just like him.

                “Captain Mitchell, what are you doing here?”

                “Just here for my son’s first day of class. Not here in any official capacity.”

                “Who is your…”

                “Dr Bradley Bradshaw. You remember Goose? Nick Bradshaw? That’s his boy up there.”

                “You raise him?”

                “Kid pretty much raised himself, but yeah, I tried to be there.”

                “He’s got himself a reputation as a bit of a daredevil, but a very very careful one.”

                “That’d be Ice’s influence,” Pete says, and it’s a slip of the tongue, out before he even realizes that it’s not exactly public knowledge, although it does seem that most people know.

                “Then he’s a lucky young man to have you both.”

                “Thank you sir. We’re very proud of him.”

…             …             …

                Tom hasn’t been this amused in a long time as he listens to Bradley moan about trying to instruct a room full of Mavericks and he wonders if it’s karma re-doubled for the stress Bradley causes Mav with his chosen career path. He’s glad his heart is nice and strong, well aware he’d have likely had many heart attacks between the shit that Mav and Bradley get up to.

…             …             …

                Bradley’s working through a backlog of pilots, the Navy wanting to have everyone retrained and he’s asked to visit Top Gun, train the current class and he agrees readily enough, although both Mav and Ice warn him that they might push him harder than the pilots at flight school and Bradley grimaces. It’ll be fine, he can be out stubborn the best, mainly because he’s got Mav and Ice as parents and if anything else they’ve taught him how to deal with aviators who think they know better than him.

…             …             …

                “Class, this is Dr Bradshaw, one of our civilian contractors. He is an expert on MFF, HALO, HAHO, parachute deployment, spin recovery, landing. Since we employed him our fatalities related to parachute deployment have decreased over fifty-percent. What he teaches you here may save your life.”

                The guy is their age, maybe a little older. Jake lets his eyes travel up and up and fuck the guys legs seem endless, and he towers a good four or five inches at least over everyone else in the room. He can’t know as much as they’re letting on, seems far too young to have earnt the deference he’s receiving from the gathered instructors and brass, who are all also apparently sitting in on the lesson. That’s new.

                “Afternoon everyone. Some of you already know me, and will know what I’m about to say. You can call me Bradley, or Bradshaw. I don’t quite stand on the same ceremony as many of you are used to,” Bradley Bradshaw says, and what a fucking joke of a name. One of the brass hides a laugh as a cough and Jake wonders if they’re being pranked.

                “Now, as to why I’m here? For you it’s primarily ejections. You may be lucky to never experience one. But it’s unlikely. If you’re lucky, your ejection will go flawlessly and you’ll walk away with some bruises and a little whiplash. Less lucky, few broken bones and some scars and unable to fly again. Unlucky, you die. I want to stack the odds in your favor, teach you how to turn those potential breaks into bruises, turn what could kill you into something that you’re able to survive.”

                He goes on into more detail, discusses the freefall simulator they’ll be utilizing and he listens with half an ear while he watches the others paying rapt attention.

                “What makes you qualified to teach us?” Jake asks, hopes his tone doesn’t come off as disparaging, because he genuinely wants to know. They’re the best pilots. Surely there’s someone in one of the services with the same level of expertise.

                “You think you’re the first pilot who thinks they know better than me?”

                “I didn’t say you know better, I asked what makes you qualified,” Jake replies firmly.

                The guy nods then, accepts the interruption.

                “I’ve been flying planes for over twenty years, flying solo since I was sixteen. Jumping out of planes since I was eighteen. Got my license to do tandem jumps when I was twenty-one. I remain the youngest person to become a skydiving instructor. I did my bachelor degree in physics and human performance science, then became quite enamored regarding spin recovery and free fall. I was then approached by the Defense Advanced Research Project Agency about doing my doctorate, specially looking further into MFF, HALO and HAHO and also spin recovery. I’ve been teaching at Pensacola, Corpus Cristi, Kingsville, Fort Bragg among others for the last few years.”

                Holy shit.

                “In addition to that I stay up to date with all the safety and health improvements. Continue to study the physics of spins and calculate the best asymmetry to try and achieve to remove from a spin dependent on a variety of variables. I’ve done over ten thousand jumps, put myself into deliberate spins over and over for the sake of science. And yet I’m standing in front of you today, alive, because I know what I’m talking about. Does that help answer your question Lieutenant?”

                “Yes sir. Thank you. I look forward to hearing what you’ve got to teach us.”

…             …             …

                "Mav, have pilots gotten cockier or am I just getting older?"

                "You're definitely getting older," Mav replies, and he's cackling madly.

                "Seems like a prerequisite for the programme. They know they're good..." Ice provides.

                "Ugh. Whole lotta ego in the current batch."

                "More than normal?"

                "Yeah. Well. One guy in particular. He's fucking insufferable."

                "Name?" Ice asks innocently and Bradley laughs but doesn’t say anything.

…             …             …

                Jake Googles him when he gets back to his lodging, clicks through and watches clip after clip of the guy jumping out of a plane. The freefall and spin-recovery ones are the ones which make his heart lodge somewhere in his throat, although he’s not sure why. It’s not like he’s afraid of heights. The guy is good, which he’d already gathered. There’s one filmed crash which he gets up and walks away from which makes his eyes widen, but he’s… interested. Curious. Definitely wants to know more.

…             …             …

                “Sir, do you know anything about a naval aviator with the last name Bradshaw?” Jake asks.

                “Oh… yes. Very tragic what happened to him.”

                “What was that?”

                “He was killed in a training exercise while at Top Gun.”

                “Oh shit…”

                “Language.”

                “Sorry sir. I just, I’ve been talking with Dr Bradshaw, his son I think?”

                “Ah yes, Bradley. There’s an accomplished young man.”

                Jake guesses all the instructors probably know each other, but there’s still a level of familiarity there which isn’t usually present with other civilian contractors.

…             …             …

                “Lieutenant. Can I help you?”

                “You can call me Jake.”

                “Or I can call you Lieutenant.”

                “Sure thing, I mean, I’ll answer to anything you want to call me.”

                Bradley frowns, because otherwise his eyebrows would be up in his hairline. The man’s got balls, he’ll give him that.

                “Just wanted to see if I could tempt you into having a drink with me…”

                Bradley isn’t stupid, knows that far more than a drink is being offered and while he would have taken him up on it ten, hell, five years ago, he’s not really into the one-night thing anymore.

                “Sorry Lieutenant, this isn’t my home base. Neither is the flight school. I actually live in San Diego. How about if you’re ever in North Island you look me up… then we can talk about that drink.”

                He still gives Jake his number, meaning it about the drink, but it’s as gentle a rejection as he can manage.

PART 6

[its-time-to-write]

i know now it’ll pass - ch. 5

I think these last two chapters are my favorite🥲 Lmk with you all think of the series bc I crave validation!!! No such thing as too many comments🥺🥺

still miss you

It’s the worst. You’re working in Manchester of all places, and you really wish that you were somewhere else. But they paid the most and offered housing and were able to hire you within two and a half weeks of your breakup. Higgins wrote a glowing letter of recommendation, and just like that, you were gone. 

You’re going to miss your flat, you realize. You don’t even know who bought it. Doesn’t matter. They were willing to pay twice what it was worth as long as they were the offer you accepted.

It’s good that Jamie won’t see you around. Won’t have any lingering reminders. It’s good that you’re the one who ended things, because he won’t be able to blame himself for it. (He probably still will, you think, but you put that thought in a tiny box and put it on a shelf far away.) 

Jamie doesn’t see you, but you see him. You see him in photos on the wall and hear him in the local voices and wish you could have just accepted his love for a little while longer.

You watch every single one of his games and cheer when he makes a goal. Or a pass. Or anything, really. He’s started running like Roy Kent did at Chelsea, like he’s angry at the grass. At least his anger is channeled into something productive.

Your new flat faces the sun, and you’re on the steps all the time. It’s not standard housing, it’s a real actual flat that Man City bought for you. It’s not big but it’s clean and yours and has a real, actual garden in the back. You think that you can manage this until you meet your neighbors and realize you’re really and truly fucked and the universe hates you.

You met the husband, Simon, on one of your sleepless nights. It was still relatively early, just 1:30, but you could tell that you weren’t going to get much sleep. Dr. Sharon transferred you to someone in Manchester, but now you were awake for different reasons. Jamie’s face kept haunting you so you kept your eyes wide open. Some mornings you’d wake up under the weighted blanket and think that it was him, in your groggy haze. Then you’d blink a couple times and remember that you’d broken up.

So you don’t sleep much. And now you’re on the porch with a cup of the tea Jamie’s mum recommended so long ago, the strong smell steaming into the air. As you sit down on your chair (you have a chair now) you hear a soft voice say, “Lovely night, isn’t it?” You nod and look over to see your neighbor sitting on his chair as well on the lawn. 

“Sometimes I like to come out here and look at the stars,” he continues. “Can’t always see very many of them, but the fresh air is nice. I’m Simon, by the way.”

You nod again, give him your name, and sip your tea.

“Is that Sleep Plus by Twinings?” he asks. “I only ask because my wife swears by it. Has a cuppa every single night, so I’m well-acquainted with the smell.”

You smile. “Yeah, it is. A friend gave it to me. Said his mum loved it too. I have trouble sleeping, so…”

Simon nods. “Georgie, that’s my wife, used to have the same problem. Too many things on her mind, she said. But she’s been alright ever since we’ve been married. She says that it wasn’t really a chemical problem in her brain, but more the fact that she was always worried. Took me years to show her I wasn’t someone she needed to be worried around. But, I proved myself and here we are.” He chuckles fondly. “She’s upstairs snoring loud as can be.”

You sit in silence a while longer before Simon gets up and says, “Lovely to meet you. I’ll have Georgie invite you ‘round for tea sometime.”

Tea with your neighbors sounds wonderful until you walk into their flat and see pictures of Georgie’s son on the walls and on tables and on the fridge and in basically every possible space she can find. Simon mentions how he researched creative things to do with photographs because it “helps Georgie when she misses him,” and you know for an absolute fact that the universe has a personal hatred for you.

It has to, because why else would you have unwittingly gotten a flat right next to Jamie’s parents?

You force yourself to behave as normally as possible and thank them for a lovely meal. Georgie grabs your arm on the way out and says you ought to come over again some time. She hugs you and tells you she didn’t have a sparkle in her eyes at your age, either. She knows what it’s like and maybe you can have tea together tomorrow night, just the two of you. Talk about it and maybe you don’t have to struggle as much as she did.

You don’t smile at her, but she doesn’t mind. Georgie reaches out a hand to wipe away a tear and says, “Oh love. It’ll be alright. You’re not alone all the way out here. I miss my son something terrible and I can see you’re missing someone too. You’ve already made me feel better and I hope I can help you the way you’ve helped me. Good to have someone young around here.”

She’s smiling, and you realize she and Jamie have the same soft eyes.

Georgie hugs you tight again before you can bolt out the door. “You’re not alone, sweetheart,” she whispers. “You’ll be alright.”

—

Simon and Georgie are a godsend. Sure, you have to suffer their son staring down at you from his various portraits in the house, but you can talk to them. They’re like parents with the way Georgie hugs you and Simon is always bringing over excess baked goods. They’re always available to talk and listen, to laugh and sometimes, to cry.

Georgie tells you about her ex-husband one nights and it’s enough to make you sob. You tell her about your ex-boyfriend (the bad one) through gasps while she rubs your back and murmurs, “I’m right here, love.”

“How were you able to be with Simon?” you ask once you’ve calmed down. “I just can’t understand that. I’ve tried, I really have, but I was just waiting for him to get tired of me. And I’m not positive he ever would have.”

Georgie thinks for a moment. “I think I finally realized that James was not the standard for all men. He and Simon were very different, and Simon always showed me he respected me as a person. It took years of that, but here we are.” She laughs. “He’s a very patient man. Not many would put up with me and my Jamie.”

Jamie was patient. And funny. And the exact opposite of your ex. He’s confident with a touch of arrogance, but it’s the kind of confidence that’s contagious as opposed to oppressive. He’s sweet and thoughtful, and does things without expecting something in return. He likes to make you smile just for the sake of it, and you like to do the same.

You’re shaken from your reverie by Georgie saying, “That reminds me, Jamie’s coming into town this weekend. You should come over to meet him.”

She and Simon share a not-so-subtle glance that means you should date our son and become our actual daughter-in-law because you’re basically already ours, and that’s when you decide you’re going to be horribly ill.

“I’d love to,” you say out loud. “I’ll check my calendar.”

Table of Contents

[arc-misadventures]

Secrets Well Kept

Jaune was having a bog-standard day until the moment his day was flipped on its head.

Literally.

Right now he was suspended in the air by his leg hanging over the roof of a building situated away from prying eyes.

He was surprised how quickly he got up here, how a single thread was holding him suspended in the air, but more importantly, that he didn’t throw up his guts in the process of getting here.

But, considering he was hanging upside down he suspected that there was still a possibility of that happening.

Peachy.

Fortuitously he wouldn’t have to worry about that for long. Hopefully.

For his captor have finally revealed themselves before him, and he only had one thing to say to them.

Jaune: If you dare say, “How’s it Yanging?” I will deliberately throw up on you.

: You wouldn’t dare!

Jaune: Unless it is by the form of a vile semi-non-lethal case of projectile vomit, how else could I, a common human possibly harm you, Spidergal.

Spidergal, the wisecracking web-slinger that swung around the city, saving people from a variety of things: Criminals committing crimes, cars speeding out of control, an introductory lesson of the ramifications of underestimating gravity. She will come in, and save everyone, be they petty criminals, or crazy men in monster suits. There were too many of those weirdos around town lately.

Jaune: Or… should I perhaps say… Yang Xiao Long…?

Spidergal stared at him for a moment before pulling off her mask, revealing a mane of golden hair, vibrant amethyst eyes, and a face that vibrated with fear.

Yang: Why?! Why did you do that?!

Jaune: Seemed pretty simple really; Your name is, Yang. I’m hanging from a… Crane? Yang, hang: Yanging. Seemed pretty simple considering you like towards making cheap puns.

Yang: it’s good I’ll give you that! But, why?!

Jaune: Why?

Yang: Yes: WHY?

Jaune: Why what?

Yang: Why didn’t you tell anyone that I was, Spidergal?!

Jaune: Are you talking about that time I caught you changing into your spider suit, and I caught you in that tantalizing lacy violet underwear?

Yang: Yes tha…?! Wait, you peaked?!

Jaune: To be fair, I couldn’t help it. You were changing your outfit at the time, and I just happened to walk on you in the process.

Yang: …

Yang: That’s fair… But, why didn’t you tell anyone?!

Jaune: Yes, I’m going to tell everyone I found out, Spidergal’s secret identity because I caught her in her underwear whilst changing into her suit. Who the devil would believe that, that could possibly happen?

Yang: Well… uhhh…? Honestly I wouldn’t believe that either.

Jaune: Precisely! Besides, I try to be a gentleman; I would have legged it out of there if it wasn’t for the fact that your friends… What are their names… Weiss, and… Blake?

Yang: Yes, their names are, Weiss, and Blake.

Jaune: Yeah, they could have caught you in that compromising position. Short of confessing you were, Spidergal, or a nudist how could you have gotten out of that?!

Yang: Definitely not the nudist route…

Jaune: Not to mention that squid guy…

Yang: Dr. Oc!

Jaune: Lame. Anyway he was on a rampage, so you had more pressing matters to attend to.

Yang: But… T-That was a month ago! Why haven’t you done anything?!

Jaune: Anything? What do you mean by that?

Yang: you could have blackmailed me into doing stuff for you, or you’ll reveal my identity! Like stealing stuff for you, o-or… m-making me doing something lewd…

As, Jaune lazily hung from the air he shot her an infuriated look that shocked her as she gazed upon a face that screamed offence.

Jaune: I’m tempted to tell everyone now for how insulted I feel that you would dare think that I would do something like that!

Yang: I’m sorry! It’s just… you know… secret identity that she has to keep secret… smoking hot babe… teenage boy…

Jaune: Get your head out of whatever gutter its in lady!

Yang: Okay! Just, why haven’t you told anyone about this, hell why didn’t you come to me about knowing this?! I’ve been on edge all month thinking you were planning something?!

Jaune: Hmm… That’s a fair concern. Well, I’ll tell you precisely what I was planning! But, first, I require a favour…

Yang recoiled in fear, her nerves were on edge as she saw the loopy smile across his face. She didn’t think he was planning anything sinister, but she couldn’t risk it.

Yang: What favour…

Jaune: Get me down from here! The blood is rushing to my head, and I think the projectile vomit is more of a warning, not a threat now!

Yang: Oh shit, yeah, sorry!

Yang quickly brought him down where, Jaune promptly laid on his back as he let his blood settle. After a few minutes he stood up, shaking the dizziness away.

Yang: You better?

Jaune: Somewhat? Imma gonna need to lie down for a while… that is so uncomfortable…

Yang: You can get used to it.

Jaune: Yeah, but I’m not… whatever it is you now are.

Yang: Hey!

Jaune: Okay… What I was planning to do was this: Nothing.

Yang: Nothing; you weren’t planning on doing anything?

Jaune: Not a gods dammed thing.

Yang: S-Seriously?

Jaune: Yep, I wasn’t planning on doing anything. You’ve been a great help to this city, it needs people like you, honest to god hero. I didn’t want to mess that up for internet clout. I mean, image how many people will be impacted if they knew you were, Spidergal. I mean… How many people could be hurt if your secret got out. And, I don’t just mean your family, but your friends, and any random schmuck on the street. Me telling who you are puts so many people at risk. I couldn’t dare dream of doing such a thing. So, don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.

Yang: Oh… T-Thank you…

Yang fidgeted with her hair nervously as she looked away with a faint blush on her face. She did this because she thought the heroing was cool, and the overall right thing to do. But, to hear someone thank her for doing what she did, seeing that her being a superhero, and doing the things she does, and for who she does it for was more important than knowing who she was, meant the world to her, and really gave her that boost of confidence she needed.

Jaune: So don’t worry about it, Yang. I’ve kept this a secret for over a year now, I can keep it secret still for years yet to come.

Yang: Thanks, Jaune, I really…?! Wait… ‘Over a year now…?’ Hold up! You’ve know I was, Spidergal for over a year now?!

Jaune: Yep!

Yang: How?!

Jaune: Remember when we first met?

Yang: Uhh… We met in the hallway at school… you were helping me by putting a textbook back into my backpack?! You saw my suit when you were putting that book back?!

Jaune: Close, I saw your suit in your backpack before I put that textbook back in. Why do you think I zipped up your backpack when I put the textbook back, and gave you that warning about letting stuff fall out?

Yang: You’ve known the whole time that I was, Spidergal since our freshmen year?!

Jaune: You weren’t really famous for a while yet, but yeah, pretty much.

Yang: H-Have you been protecting my secret the whole time as well?!

Jaune: More, or less.

Yang: Oh… okay…

Jaune: So… now what?

Yang: I don’t know… You know my secret, and have been keeping my secret for over a year now… I guess we just carry on as we are?

Jaune: I can do that.

Yang: Do you… Would you mind if I came to you… To talk about all these things I’ve been through? I don’t have anyone to talk about this to, and I could really use someone to talk to… do you… Would you mind?

Jaune look at her before walking over to a vent box on the roof. The metallic box echoed as he sat upon it, he turned to her, and tapped a spot besides him. Yang smiled at him before jumping, and summersaulting in the air, and landing gracefully next to him.

Jaune: So… Lets start at the beginning shall we?

Yang: How I became, Spidergal? That’s a good place to start.

Jaune: Oh, I was going to ask how you hide all that hair under that mask of yours; like seriously, how?!

Yang laughed as she lightly punched his arm before she told him the origin story of the, Astonishing Spidergal.

And, Jaune had to admit, it was too ridiculous to be true. But, such is life: Too ridiculous to be true.

///

Ahh, finally get to play out that Spiderman idea I’ve had stuck in my head for months now!

That was fun. Well, back to the grinding stone.

Do enjoy~!

[anonzentimes]

Hi there! I stumbled across your blog randomly, and I’m so glad I did. I’ve gotten into DR recently and I’ve been hooked on Nagito’s character for many of the reasons you are! I’ve already read a few of your analyses and I love them, it’s amazing getting more insight into one of my favorite DR characters from someone who really understands him!

I’m not sure if you’ve already done this, but if it’s not too much trouble, do you think you can do an analysis on just how fucking smart Nagito is? I think he’s one of the most intelligent and observant characters in DR2. I’m rewatching DR2 and bro lk carries the trials with his hints, a lot of times it seems he figured out the culprit before anyone else. That’s not even mentioning the entirety of Chapter 5!

Sorry if this is a weird ask, it’s an aspect of Nagito’s character that I personally don’t really see talked about too much (then again I haven’t been in the fandom for that long lol) I’d love to hear your thoughts! Thanks again for all your lovely analyses!

I’d just like to start this out by saying sorry it’s taken me a while to answer this, I like to articulate big stuff like this when I’m able to and less tired (at my best) so apologies for the wait!

Thank you so much! I’m really happy you enjoy my rambles, especially as someone who just got into the series! I’m honored to be told I understand him by so many people since he means so much to me. Your request actually hasn’t been asked before so don’t worry! I’ll try my best to express that Nagito is Really Smart, and god Is he Really smart.

I don’t know why he ended up so intelligent, but I like to believe that from thinking so much and forming his beliefs it caused him to be pretty smart. That paired with the obvious life experiences that his luck gives him, and just being born with that type of mind results in him being pretty smart. Honestly I want to say I think Nagito is a very emotionally strong character for going so much trauma and still at the end of the day being able to form a coping mechanism and live on, or if you want to put it into other words to be able hold onto hope despite everything. But of course, too much of anything is a bad thing and over time it becomes obsessive and unhealthy as we can see. He’s also extremely tragic in that sense as well. But anyways, that’s all just to say I think Nagito’s insane life experience helped him become smarter. He also seems to read as a hobby, given how there are an immense amount of books in his cottage. If I recall he also spends a lot of his time at the library on the island usually, but the books in his room are already enough to support the fact he reads anyways. This is to say I’m sure his intelligence is also helped by how he reads lots of books.

So far this has all been my thoughts on how Nagito became to be such a smart person, but now I want to talk about some of the things he actually does with it. For starters, I feel like there’s something to be said about how he through living his unfortunate life understands he has luck and uses it to his advantage. He views himself in a very negative way that isn’t entirely setting himself to the standard of the talentless, not that he’d ever be outright aggressive to the talentless, or with the talented to him he’s in this worthless middle ground. He’s low enough where he would criticize the talentless for being too bold or not being a stepping stone given the hierarchy be believes in, but he also isn’t entirely equivalent given he does have a talent. He just believes his talent is awful because it has given him so much trauma and more so killed everyone he’s ever loved, but even so he uses it to his advantage and uses it as “the one thing he’s capable at,” although he would never use it for selfish reasons given how selfless he is. This is all to say that he’s incredibly smart for not only recognizing this, but coming up with plans and ways to achieve his goals by using his own luck. It’s his thing, be believes it’s awful and by extension he is worthless himself, but it’s the thing he has and he uses it, trusts it, and relies on it whole heartedly. He’s able to achieve his goals by abusing his luck, and the plans he comes up with to use his luck to get an outcome he wants showcases just how Intelligent he really is constantly. In Danganronpa 3 when he wants to postpone the test because he wants everyone to be at their best, he comes up with an entire plan for multiple options if some of them fail to get what he wants to achieve. He knows due to his luck that he will get what he wants by following through with any of these plans, and thinks of possible ways he can get what he wants. In Chapter 1 of Danganronpa 2 he relies on his luck, figures out what to do, and plans everything out using his intelligence. His good luck directly impacts him while his bad luck usually impacts everybody else unless it has nobody to go after, so in that case his plan technically doesn’t work like how he hoped but he still got what he wanted in the end. Nagito is able to also entirely clear the final dead room easily with his intelligence, and again relies on his luck because he’s smart enough to understand how his own luck works to use it. The biggest display of intelligence probably is the entire suicide he plans out, I don’t think I even have to say much on it for the point to be conveyed that he’s INCREDIBLY smart for being able to come up with something so elaborate. Just like the things i’ve mentioned here, he trusts his luck in the process. But the way that his plan doesn’t work, the way that it fails unexpectedly is that Hajime despite being so conflicted is able to finally not put it aside and use his understanding of Nagito to put himself in his shoes, see the world how he thinks, and solve the case. He has to trust in Nagito’s luck like Nagito does, something that he couldn’t have accounted for, to solve the case. That’s one of the major reasons Chapter 5 is so amazing, we have to trust his luck just like he does to get to the bottom of things. Even so, all of these things are a testament to just how smart he really is. This isn’t even mentioning how he’s smart enough to know things about the case, help out, but not fully solve it for them because his goals center around seeing the ultimates shine and be more capable than he can be, at least he believes he can’t be as capable but his beliefs are what actually hold him back. He is incredibly smart and this is shown time and time again, he is a wonderful character and his intelligence is only one aspect that contributes to how amazing and interesting he is.

He’s incredibly observant as well. He’s more observant than he is able to fully grasp social cues, or more so due to his absolute beliefs it prevents him from fully grasping other people’s perspective and his trauma making him more numb results in difficulty coming off as he intends to mostly when he’s at his worst or coping. For this reason he is usually the outcast but doesn’t understand the true reason he is hated and just thinks it’s because of the factual hierarchy, his absolute beliefs, he doesn’t usually comprehend things that center around them not being believed or being factual and is conflicted or frustrated when things put them into question or go against it. I try to explain this and bring it up because he relies on observation of people’s reactions more than anything. He is extremely observant in general and he uses his observations especially in social situations to help himself. Even when he doesn’t understand the reason why or feels it is an out of place reaction because he doesn’t fully understand the other’s perspective, he can absolutely observe other people fully. This is mostly just an add on to everything else in my massive statement to express how smart he is, but I just want to mention how observant he is. It helps him with solving cases and social situations extremely often. It also is shown how absolute his beliefs are by how his observations sometimes confuse him or cause him to feel as if the hierarchy is proven right because he cannot see it as anything but fact because he is so far gone. Most people believe in the hierarchy subconsciously but he believes in it as fact and is more expressive and honest in general as a person. Anyway, again, just main point here is he’s incredibly observant.

Hopefully this is a good short summary or way to express how intelligent he is, if there’s anything more you’d like me to cover about his intelligence that you think I missed or didn’t summarize well enough let me know! Sorry again that this has taken a while. Side note: I’m just posting this without revising it much, so I may edit it later or remove typos but for the most part if there’s any weird wordings or typos sorry about that, haha! I don’t have the time to revise it at the moment.

Thank you for your ask!!! <3

[lightwise]

TBB S3 E10 Reaction

Life has been a bit busier the last few weeks so I am finally catching up on my episode reactions (I’m determined to do all of them this season!) And I apologize y’all, this episode made me very snarky apparently.

I’ll be honest. When this episode first came out I was nowhere near as surprised by it or horrified by it as reviewers seemed to be. Nothing about Palpatine hunting down force sensitive children as experiments and using Cad Bane to do it is a surprise, and the Vault feels so much like Andor. But even on a rewatch this episode holds up so well and honestly just starts to give a cold chill under the skin as the quiet horror of it sinks in.

- Cute kid. And the Batch nowhere to be seen. This is going to be a different episode isn’t it

- Oh no. He’s force sensitive 😫😫😫 hmmm how could that possibly go wrong

- This is giving Andor vibes 👀

- It’s always interesting seeing “regular people” in Star Wars and little markets and how they’re just trying to go about their daily lives.

- Don’t go around snitching people! Nothing good ever comes of it!!!

- Yeah this guy is worse than Timm from Andor. Wtf dude. You’re turning in a baby!!

- Also is it just me or typical Star Wars “houses” end up being pretty dark and depressing?

- Wait okay okay. So this is the CX chamber. Why can’t we see any of them yet 😩😩 what is this red fog? What are these weird conditioning pods? What kind of armor is on this datapad?? *trying to crawl inside my screen* I NEED ANSWERS JENNIFER!!

- “Do you trust me?” Ooooh why do I think that’s going to come back around

- But also, babygirl, I don’t think you actually know what you’re signing up for

- “I could be more useful” “you wish to be the new chief scientist Dr. Karr?” “I believe I’ve earned it.” Alright. This. This is interesting. This fully encapsulates the dynamic that these two have shared. Emerie knows that Hemlock only values things that are useful, and probably only sees her own value in the light of what she can contribute, due to how she was raised and the circumstances she has been trapped in. Hemlock’s tone of voice implies that he has never considered her as being the new chief scientist, and yet he acquiesces quite quickly, almost as though he’s just too busy to think about it and if it means things are brought back up to production standard then he’s fine with it. His utter disregard for Emerie as an actual human and someone with merit is disgusting though.

- But I get it, the man’s busy, he’s got a lot of evil shit he’s trying to do all at the same time 🙄

- So we have “the assets”, which is the area that Hemlock took Palpatine in the first episodes, where the orange containment pods are and the zillo beast is being kept. We still don’t know what those assets are. The Vault is something different.

- Well. Shit. It’s Andor and Narkina 5 for kids. Lovely 😳💀

- “There are few adults left with such characteristics” I WONDER IN THE NAME OF ONE EMPEROR PALPATINE WHY

- Okay so this entire exchange is awful. The kids are so cute! Hemlock is so cold. “Specimens. Assets” ughhh Emerie what are you getting yourself into!!

- Is this the first time we’ve heard the word glasses in Star Wars?

- Oh no. So THIS is why Cad Bane was brought back 🥺🥺

- The score in this episode is perfectly eerie

- Lol Todo is not good with kids huh 🤣

- That poor mama when she wakes up and finds her baby is gone

- I hope that dude has his entire life flash before his eyes as he’s trying to pick all of those credits up

- “My name’s Eva” 🥹🥹🥹 Emerie has no idea how to handle this 😂

- I still wanna know what’s happened with these commandos. No way a clone of Jango Fett is able to look a child in the eyes, call them a “specimen” and not have even an ounce of remorse as they stun them point blank.

- “Jax?” And Eva just points. The power in knowing someone’s name vs a dehumanizing number

- It’s also interesting that these kids are species that are red, blue, and green, and when they get Bayrn in, he’s white. RGB colors make up white light when put together.

- The little peeks of Emerie’s backstory we keep getting are so interesting. She was abandoned by Nala Se. She knows that these children don’t belong here, the same way that Omega told both her and Crosshair that they didn’t belong here either. Nala Se says that the Empire will hold these kids to control them. Emerie feels like she has no power to do anything differently. So much to unpack here.

- Why is Tarkin’s holo so large?

- Lol I honestly love getting to see the backbiting politics of how the Empire functions. It’s so bad and so funny

- Also love that Project Necromancer is so secret that even Tarkin doesn’t know what it is. He’s so nosy

- Okay why does he bring up the CX schematic again and why is it so different than the one we saw earlier??

- Whoa Cid was tortured???

- “The other operatives aren’t ready to join you in the field” why????

- We’re visiting a lot of space stations this season

- Man I wish Emerie had fudged this test

- Nooo let the poor baby go home 🥺

- Oh and now we’re putting kids in solitary confinement. Great.

- C’mon Emerie. Keep clicking that moral compass until it points north

- She kept the straw Lula. She’s giving it to Eva 😭. There’s hope for her yet

[dreadnotau]

Happy three years everybody! As always, there’s a lot to say on the occasion, so pop in at the end of the post for the tl;dr if you don’t have time for my detailed diatribes, haha

Boy, time flies, huh? Feels like the second anniversary was just yesterday, but maybe that’s just the several long hiatuses getting to me. I’ve been scarce on uploading anything anywhere for a while now, even though I promised I’d actually pick up the slack this time around. What gives? Well…

For one, college hell, and for two, a lot of unfounded anxiety about putting my art out there. Allow me some theatrics for a moment and I’ll actually get back to the comic at hand… I’ve never had an exceptionally supportive environment for making art. It wasn’t suppressive, not in the slightest, but it also wasn’t… encouraging. It was always treated as a hobby or a distraction rather than something I was allowed to be fully proud of, especially because a lot of my art focused on more cartoon-y and fantasy ideas, rather than still life studies and painting (which people generally outside of the art sphere tend to value more, arbitrarily). Couple that with a childhood full of being bullied over minute shit you hadn’t even considered could be an issue before, and you get a teenager hellbent on never sharing his interests or ideas with anyone, mostly due to the fear of rejection.

I’ve grown, thankfully, but that paranoia and fear doesn’t go away overnight. As I’m sure you all know, Meowchela was the one who originally encouraged me to post this comic, and the only reason she succeeded was because she was the first person in a long time who listened and engaged with my interests and my art in a meaningful way. It’s kind of obvious her friendship had a profound impact on me, and I’d cite her as one of the reasons I was even hopeful enough to apply to an art college in the first place! This comic, and that bond with another person, proved that maybe these things I’m so passionate about weren’t duds, and weren’t something I had to keep to myself.

So, fast forward a few years. About three years, in fact.

During one of my classes, right before this hellish two weeks of exams started, one of the class assistants talked me into showing my comic pages to one of my professors. He’s generally a pretty open guy when it comes to new mediums, but I’m always… apprehensive about showing my less “traditional art”-y things to professors, but, he ended up being genuinely proud of it. Specifically, I showed him pages 85-87 (because they’re my favourites) and, he didn’t read the text, just the visuals were enough for him to say “good job, keep it up” (which is HIGH praise from that guy). When I mentioned I’ve been meaning to simplify the visuals because I didn’t have time to work on the comic very often because of college and classes, he dismissed it on principle. I was honestly caught off guard. Heavily paraphrasing, he suggested that worsening the visuals for an arbitrary deadline was counterproductive to making something that’s Good™.

That’s kinda stuck with me. For a good few years now I was more focused on optimisation rather than visual improvement for the comic, and though it HAS contributed to better visuals in some ways (cutting corners sometimes makes for a less pointy and jagged end result), it’s kind of weird I’m treating an art project that way, isn’t it? I set a lot of… arbitrary deadlines and standards for myself, in the form of expectations and what I “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing at certain stages in my life. I’ve thought of Dread Not as a passion project second and a stepping stone first, if I’m being honest. As if it was too… fandom-y and derivative to be treated with more gravity than that, like it’s an immature project because I was still a child when I came up with it. As if it was something I’m making to Build Up to Something Else, something Bigger and Cooler and More Important, and… the more I think about the future of Dread Not, and even my future career options, the more I realised that’s, ironically, a really immature way to think about it.

If there’s one thing going to this art college has taught me, is that there’s no “right” way to make art, and there’s no “right” way to success as an artist. There’s no clear-cut paths, just more commonly treaded roads, but even those are heavily overgrown. Why should I try to box myself into thinking I have to make things from complete scratch to be taken seriously? What’s so bad about Dread Not as a story and as a comic that’s caused me to vaguely keep it under wraps when conversing with people in my day-to-day life? Why wouldn’t I put all these skills I’ve acquired to improve and expand this project that’s Right There, WAITING for me to finally get off my ass and get pages out there again?

I wish I could say I’ve used all this time away in a particularly clever way, but I really haven’t - at least, it feels like I haven’t. My art has undoubtedly improved over time (though admittedly the art for this post was Very rushed, fuckin exams), and while I’ve been working on projects in the background, chipping away at them in a VERY disorganised way, I haven’t been posting that progress anywhere, and I haven’t made any good progress on my biggest project, Dread Not, because of the other ones. And, honestly? Admitting that kinda stings. This comic means a lot to me, and I wish I actually gave it the time and attention it deserves instead of letting it sit out hiatus after hiatus because I keep failing at structuring my time.

So, my new plan is a little more abstract: find a way to work Dread Not into my school schedule, and slowly build a habit of working on it more often. No clue how long that’ll take, but I think it’ll be worth it to consider it as an option, and hopefully finally end these long, drawn out hiatuses with short bursts of uploads in-between. HOPEFULLY. Building habits was never my strong suit, so please bear with me while I figure this out in what will probably be the most hectic upload schedule in this comics history, which is: no schedule at all.

From now on (until the end of Act 1), I’ll upload pages when they’re ready, and depending on how the weeks go and how complex the page is, they could be weeks or days apart from one another. Hell, some might even take a month to finish if school stuff gets REALLY hectic (god knows Hellish Exam Week number 1 and number 2 won’t be giving me much time to work on the comic), but I’m determined to do this. I want to be able to put my all into this project again!!

(And hopefully finish Act 1 by the end of this semester…)

TL;DR: College is giving me life lessons I didn’t expect, and because of them I’ve decided to give myself a non-existent upload schedule for Dread Not: Pages will be posted when they’re ready, and the spacing between pages could wildly vary depending on circumstances and the actual complexity of the page itself.

As always, thank you for being here, thank you for reading, and thank you for being patient!

If all goes well, there will be new content very, very soon.

[janamelie]

Rocky Horror Stage Show Review

As a glance at my blog will tell you, I rarely post about “Rocky Horror” as it’s not my main fandom, but I’ve loved it for 30 years and have just attended a stage show for the first time since the 90s so am writing down my thoughts for my own benefit and sharing here.

I was aware that the current production is somewhat different both from the film and the stage show I saw back in 1994 starring Jonathon Morris.  (Yes, I am a Gen Xer and was heartened to see how many others in my age bracket attended, many in costume.)

If anyone’s curious, this was the earlier Friday performance at Wolverhampton Grand Theatre in the UK.

I’ll get the negative part out of the way first and it’s nothing to do with the actual show.  Unfortunately there was someone near me who had an ongoing argument with someone who was with her throughout the show and at times it interfered with my enjoyment.  (It definitely wasn’t audience participation; I know the difference.)

She carried on doing it after the interval despite being spoken to by staff.  During Columbia’s emotional “I loved you!” speech, “Toucha-toucha-touch me” and other quieter parts it spoiled it a bit for me.  After the show ended a bloke in full Frank drag told her off publicly for “being an arsehole” and I'm afraid to say she deserved it.  If you’re not interested in a show, stay at home and don’t ruin it for the rest of us.

Science Fiction, Double Feature

I love this song and the Usherette’s actress performed it well, getting into the spirit of things straight away with stockings and wiggles.

Dammit Janet

Another really catchy song and the actors handled it well.  They both have strong singing voices which is good as I have seen a Brad who wasn’t that great in that respect.

The Narrator’s first appearance was amusing as he ad-libbed in response to the standard insults thrown at Brad and Janet: “They can hear you, you know!” (The actors were currently frozen onstage so he could do his bit and he joked they weren’t allowed to move or there would be dire punishments.)

The Narrator was a highlight throughout - it really does improve on the film version when the pompous character is actually in on the joke and interacting.

Over At The Frankenstein Place

Well performed again and I enjoyed the audience holding up coloured lights to accompany it.  Riff-Raff’s first appearance got so much applause he just started singing right over it.

The majority of the audience seemed to have seen the show before or at least the film although the Narrator did jokily “spoil” them with his line “Stranger than a sex-crazed transvestite from outer space - whoops, spoilers!”

A word on the audience callbacks which have of course been a staple since the 70s.  There was a reasonable amount but not too much.  I have seen shows which were closer to the film and people would yell after almost every line which got a bit much so this was just about right.

Our hapless couple enter the Castle and are immediately surrounded by Riff Raff, Magenta and Columbia who play it more as pantomime villains than in the film but this doesn’t bother me as theatre doesn’t have close-ups and needs to play to the gallery.  The Eddie plotline is hinted at and then of course it’s…

The Time Warp

What can I say about this one?  Always a showstopper and had everyone on their feet.  Brilliant.  Columbia got to do her tap solo which was a highlight as it is in the film.  And we’ve barely recovered from that before…

Sweet Transvestite

Woohoo.  Frank’s actor was great, as charismatic and confident as you need to be for that part.  He embraced the sensual nature of the role and had physical interactions with practically everyone, even Dr Scott and in the encore, the Narrator by ripping aside his trousers to reveal stockings and suspenders.

The lab scene whizzes by and soon it’s Rocky’s entrance with…

The Sword Of Damocles

Thoughts on Rocky’s characterisation - of course in the film they went for a non-actor who was well-muscled as required for the role and had him only speak when singing.  I actually think Peter Hinwood’s performance works really well as the whole point of Rocky is that he’s just been born and everything is new to him.

But in the stage show Rocky speaks and is more openly rebellious, even telling Frank to piss off twice.  This tends to mean casting a professional actor who isn’t as muscular as Frank’s dialogue implies but that wasn’t an issue here - the actor had both acting chops and muscles.  The relationship between Rocky and Frank is a lot closer to equal.

Rocky compliments Frank on his “good job with the bodywork” and we go into…

I Can Make You A Man

I’m going to be honest, this is probably my least favourite “RH” song which isn’t to say I don’t like it.  I just don’t share Frank’s muscle fetish.  But it was well staged and leads into one of my favourites…

Whatever Happened To Saturday Night?

This song rocks hard and Eddie’s actor did it justice.  Not sure it got quite as much applause as it deserved but I get it - we’ve just met him, he’s taken the focus off Frank and is about to be unceremoniously killed for that.  I adore the way the film stages the song with all the Transylvanians rocking out too.

So Frank chases Eddie offstage with a chainsaw and returns to reprise “I Can Make You A Man”.  I’ll add here that as far as I’m concerned, no production which includes this blatantly queer, unashamedly lustful song is in danger of becoming too “mainstream”.  Frank was all over Rocky, complete with gyrating.  Even this audience which were certainly the most tolerant in that respect that I’ve been in still reacted to the stronger parts.  Mostly with approval though.

I realise that things have changed since the 90s in that respect and as an elder queer myself, it warms my heart.  I do think it’s partly that the plot of “Rocky Horror” is better known now.  And thank God for that as I don’t need to be in another audience who apparently thought they’d come to watch “The Sound Of Music” and nearly walked out.

After the interval, it’s directly into the bedroom seduction scenes which are staged a bit differently from the film and earlier stage shows - we go straight into (strongly) implied oral sex with first Janet and then Brad, both of whom only then find out that it’s Frank rather than their fiance / fiancee respectively.  After which both agree to more sex without too much persuasion needed, as long as Frank doesn’t tell anyone.  

All I’m going to say is that “Rocky Horror” has always been problematic.  It’s basically an X-rated panto and taking it seriously is kind of missing the point.  I enjoy analyses of it though.  But when you’re watching it live the music tends to override all that as it’s such a good time.

The production manages to make the Frank / Brad sex scene even more gay by having Riff Raff pop up next to them. Nothing happens as he’s just there to tell Frank that Rocky’s loose but for a second you think there’ll be a m/m/m threesome.  Which would of course fit the undercurrent in both show and film that Riff Raff at least is attracted to Frank if maybe not vice versa.

I hope I’m remembering this next part in sequence.  Janet enters the lab feeling guilty and upset and meets Rocky who’s hiding from Frank (the aforementioned woman who wouldn’t shut up meant I missed part of the dialogue and it differs from the film.  Grrr).

I think Rocky says something to raise Janet’s suspicions so she uses the monitor to search the Castle’s rooms and gets an eyeful of Frank and Brad getting it on.  I’ve never been clear as to whether her hypocritical shock is due to the fact that Brad’s having gay sex whereas she had straight sex but at least it leads to another of my faves…

Touch-a touch-a touch me

I love this in the film and it was well done here.  My only quibble is that Magenta and Columbia were up in the rafters and just provided a chorus rather than the full-on sapphic frisson which Patricia Quinn and Little Nell treat us to in the film.  But I guess it would be hard to make that work on stage.

Exit Janet and Rocky, enter Brad who also uses the monitor and sees his beloved with Rocky.  I’m not sure how much emotional sense it makes for him to then launch into…

Once In A While

But I don’t care because this was actually a highlight which it’s never been before in stage productions I’ve seen.  I understand it being cut from the film as it would have killed the momentum stone dead.

But in this frantically paced stage production it’s a welcome quiet moment and as I said before, Brad’s actor had the voice to pull it off without the Narrator needing to take the piss out of him to keep audience interest.  

Oddly though, Janet reappears in the rafters and sings along with the latter part of the song which makes no sense since she’s supposed to be shagging Rocky right now.  I suppose it’s a way to indicate she’s having second thoughts about wrecking her relationship which fits how the show leaves Janet and Brad, hinting they’ll reconcile.

Followed by Frank whipping Riff Raff (offstage of course, they don’t want to cause actual bodily harm to an actor) for letting Rocky escape and wailing about Rocky’s betrayal as he finds it out via that extremely convenient plot device, the monitor.  Via which they also notice Dr Scott’s arrival.

Once Scott’s inside, Rocky and Janet reappear and we get that hilarious repeated “Janet!”  “Dr Scott!” etc exchange which was milked for maximum humour, ending in Rocky telling Frank to piss off which was a bit jarring for me being such a film aficionado.  Although Hinwood’s glare does kind of imply that.

Dr Scott brings up Eddie and rather than the film’s “unknowing cannibalism” scene we just get the actors passing a joint of meat around and pantomiming shock which is fine by me as that bit is gross, let’s face it.  

It’s like that meme - I can excuse murder, very dubious consent and incest but I draw the line at cannibalism.  Nah, just kidding, it doesn’t bother me that much.

Eddie’s Teddy

A nice ensemble number which I don’t have much to say about.  Fine.

Planet Schmanet Janet

Good song which delivers the necessary exposition regarding the Floor Show, followed by Columbia snapping and confronting Frank about how he uses people but instead of getting frozen as in the film she’s hit with drugged gas and has a lengthy trip played for laughs.

Not sure about this change as surely it’s enough to have her frozen like the others to explain her continued participation.  It changes the situation from Columbia voluntarily staying in the Castle even though she knows Frank doesn’t love her to her actively deciding to leave until she’s hit with the gas.  Not keen.

Having frozen everyone except Magenta and Riff Raff, Frank reacts to her question about when they’ll return to Transylvania by saying their loyalty will be rewarded and this is interestingly different from the film.  He says “You will discover that when the mood takes me, I can be quite generous” and pulls at her legs (she’s seated) in a way which makes it blindingly obvious he means sexually.

Her retort “I ask for nothing, Master” happens as Riff Raff chases Frank away from her in an obvious nod to their incestuous relationship (yes, we do get the “My most beautiful sister” line).  I really didn’t get the sense that Magenta has any sexual interest in Frank even in this production let alone in the film.  Riff Raff, on the other hand, is jealous as hell of him but also wants him.  (Although I was seated to the far side so may have missed some nuances.)

So, to the Floor Show.  “Rose Tint My World” is such a banger.  It was beautifully staged with stunning costumes and lighting as Columbia, Rocky, Brad and finally Janet pop through the curtains in their basques, stockings and suspenders in rapid succession for their solo verses and then Frank makes his starring entrance for “Don’t Dream It, Be It” and “Wild And Untamed Thing”.  Love it.

Then of course Riff Raff and Magenta crash the party and Frank pleads for his life with “I’m Going Home” which was sung and performed beautifully and again, got so much applause that the actors had to talk over it.   

Frank takes the time during it to have affectionate moments with all four of his most recent paramours which is a nice touch, especially as he seems genuinely upset when Columbia tries to shield him from Riff Raff and is mercilessly shot dead.  For a moment at least, then self-preservation takes over.  But in vain, and he and Rocky also die.  I’m sentimental (sorry Magenta, don’t kill me) so I like the confirmation that Rocky clearly did feel something for Frank even if he was scared of him.

Riff Raff orders Dr Scott to leave but not Brad and Janet.  Clearly an oversight somewhere as the Castle takes off into space in an impressive special effects explosion and there they still are to perform “Super Heroes”.  They first walk away from each other then change their minds, hug and walk off together, hinting all is not lost for their relationship.

The sweetly melancholy tone continues for the “Science Fiction, Double Feature” reprise.  But like the film, they’re nice enough to leave us on a higher note, in this instance by bringing the whole cast back onstage for an encore of the “Time Warp” (this time including Frank which I love) and part of “Sweet Transvestite”.

Excellent decision both to leave us on a musically upbeat note and to (sort of) fix the ending which does kind of fit the “Kill your gays” trope.  I know that’s because the show is a celebration of old sci-fi films which usually did kill anyone even remotely like Frank but these days, who cares how awful he is if considered realistically?  He’s not real, he’s literally an alien and there is no reason he has to die except for drama, so bring him back at the end.  He’s too good to waste.

So that’s it.  I had a great time and as always loved the inclusive atmosphere.

[leafofkudzu]

Hello and happy endless January! Despite how long this month may have seemed, it is almost over - and that means it's soon time for another art party hosted by my guild, Verdant Shield [VS]! We're taking a little tour of the cozy size of the jungle this time, over at Mabon Market in Caledon!

For those who aren’t familiar with art parties, they’re a concept carried over from Final Fantasy XIV - in-game get-togethers for artists/writers/creatives of all types to hang out, chat, and create together! Get your favorite character/look together, head to the location, find someone that catches your eye, and create! Afterwards, everyone posts their creations in a shared tag (ours is #VSArtParty) so others can see, interact, and share! Tl;dr: the ‘goal’ of an art party isn’t to be drawn, but to draw others, and share with the community!

Time and /squadjoin information is under the cut, but will also be posted again via reblogs as the squads go up on the day of the party!

Location Information:

Caledon Forest is a nice easily-accessible map for everyone, and Mabon Market even has its own dedicated waypoint (that is, Mabon Waypoint)! I imagine we'll kind of scatter out across the market and beach, so don't take my exact location in this screenshot too seriously!

Time & Squad Details:

As we always do, we'll be having two parties - one on EU servers and one on NA ones - with an hour break in between. People tend to arrive early and/or jump between accounts as soon as the break comes up, so don't be surprised to see tags and announcements going up ahead of schedule!

The first party will be on EU servers and begin at 9pm Central European Time (aka 3pm Eastern Standard Time or 4 hours before in-game reset). I’ll be hosting on my EU alt account, so to join either /squadjoin or whisper Aemryn of Dusk for an invite.

The second party will be on NA servers and begin at 7pm Eastern Standard Time (aka 1am Central European Time or at in-game reset). I’ll be hosting this one on my main account, so to join either /squadjoin or whisper Kirslyn for an invite.

Closing Words:

A few days ago some nasty info came to the surface about various GW2 sources being scraped for AI purposes, with tumblr tags specifically being mentioned. Though I certainly wouldn't blame anyone for being discouraged and not wanting to draw at all (even this post was delayed because of it), I think at the end of the day, even if you don't post anything publicly, you still shouldn't deny yourself the company and community of your fellow creatives! If you'd like to make this art party have more of a focus on screenshots, or even just hang out and not draw at all, please feel free - your presence is what makes these parties...well, parties, after all!

If you are still interested in posting your artwork though, please check out Glaze and Nightshade as potential ways to protect yourself (and hurt AI datasets) if you haven't already! And even if you don't do that, make sure to slap signatures/watermarks/etc wherever you can. This may be a disheartening time for us, but it doesn't mean we have to stop doing what we love.

So, whether you're coming to create or just to hang out, I look forward to seeing you all this Saturday. Take care, stay safe, and see you soon! ♥

[i-want-my-iwtv]

(continued) I damn near exploded with anger, but also was able to concede how someone could come to that conclusion.

Hmm. I hope you're being hyperbolic, Anon, I mean, I'm glad you didn't explode with anger on your friend, and I'm glad you conceded how someone might come to the conclusion that there is/are problematic content/elements in a gothic horror story/series. 😬

I don't think this was a question, more of a confession/comment? I censored it for reasons below*. Whether it's IWTV canon, the '94 movie, the 2022 TV show, etc... I would say that if you enjoy it, allow that your friend has made a comment and you can talk with them about why they think it's bad, that could be an interesting conversation if it's in good faith!

I can say that in general, these stories/characters/ships are not intended to appeal to everyone, I consider canon to be a buffet where I can pick and choose what I like and skip over what I don't!

TL;DR: Don’t Like, Don’t Read. Applies to you, your friend, etc. Hopefully it won't cost you your friendship, but if it does, well, life goes on. I am not comfortable discussing certain topics publicly because fandom is a hostile environment at this time, and I come here for a fun little escape from reality in my limited free time, not to police anyone or be policed myself.

[^X by @bluebellofbakerstreet)

Hit the jump for more, cut for length.

~~~

*So, I wanted to take this as quick opportunity to share some thoughts on answering asks like these, because there is some fresh blood in the fandom who may not be aware... Assuming Anon wanted to ask if I agreed with their friend or not, the question wasn't quite clear. In general:

I've been in fandom long enough that I can say that the intention for questions like these is sometimes good, to spark intriguing conversations about how ~X problematic thing~ applies to various ships, whether it's harmful to the characters or maybe just part of their nature as vampires, so it's normal for them (as an example, "Was Armand cutting off Nicki's hands an abusive act, or is that a standard punishment that a coven master would commonly do to aberrant vampires? He didn't gloat about it, and he did return/reattach them after all!"), etc.... in other times, this could be a chance for an intellectually stimulating conversation and I would have enjoyed unpacking it with ppl.

Other times, especially currently in 2024 (to timestamp this), these questions are often in bad faith as a means to provoke an unwinnable debate; pinning a fan of a piece of media (the target/person) into defensive position of ~X problematic thing~ in fiction, which often becomes a slippery slope to accuse that target/person of "promoting/endorsing/supporting ~X problematic thing~ in real life!" This is then used to vilify the target/person when they insist that "Fiction is not reality," "Depiction is not endorsement," etc. etc.. As the person continues to defend themselves the bad faith actors escalate their harassment, this is fun sport for them. This can lead to dogpiling on the target/person with hateanons, online character/reputation assassination, or even real life consequences including doxxing. All this over a piece of fiction. It's extremely risky, it's entrapment, I have seen it happen and been a mild target for it over the years, it's unpleasant at best and ruinous at worst.

And I’ll also quote the description from @ozhawkauthor of one of The 3 Laws of Fandom, which applies to canon, fanfic, adaptations, all fiction!:

The First Law of Fandom Don’t Like; Don’t Read (DL;DR) It is up to you what you see online. It is not anyone else’s place to tell you what you should or should not consume in terms of content; it is not up to anyone else to police the internet so that you do not see things you do not like. At the same time, it is not up to YOU to police fandom to protect yourself or anyone else, real or hypothetical. There are tools out there to help protect you if you have triggers or squicks. Learn to use them, and to take care of your own mental health. If you are consuming fan-made content and you find that you are disliking it - STOP.

I used to wrap things up by saying smtg positive like "Let's all get along!" but that in itself was picked on for some reason, so I'll just end it here ✨

[moreespressoformydepresso]

Heyy, it’s been a couple of days since I’ve posted, even longer since I’ve been consistent. I would say I’ve been busy but that would be a lie because I haven’t actually had less time than usual to post. Truth is some stuff’s gone down, partially on this very platform, and it’s made it very hard to post. If you don’t want to read a kind of venty angsty personal post the TL;DR is I’ll get back to posting semi-regularly once I’ve dealt with some stuff but I promise it has nothing to do with the people who interact with my blog. You’re the highlight of my day even if it’s “just” a like and I’m sorry for the recent dip in posts.

I don’t wanna go into detail because surprise! I don’t actually like going out of my way to create drama with people and one person involved has essentially harassed me on every platform we share. That’s why I haven’t spoken about this before, and I’m only saying this now because I realized I’ve forgotten to respond to several reblogs and I don’t want anyone to feel like I’m ignoring them or abandoning this blog or anything. Basically, I feel bad about leaving without explanation and also I kind of want to vent? So without getting too specific: A close friendship recently died a slow, torturous death over several months, slowly getting worse until the other person threw me in the trash like I meant nothing. Then he came back two weeks later and tried to guilt trip me for being upset at him for how he treated me.

In that two week period some stuff went down on Tumblr here and well… there’s no way to sugarcoat this, so I’ll be blunt: it’s made me terrified to post anything on here. Every time I want to post something I feel sick to my stomach with dread because what if it’ll happen again? Or, alternatively, what if I’m next? And it sucks because I’m not even 100% sure it was aimed at me, but it lines up a little too perfectly and maybe I’m paranoid and it’s all on me but maybe it’s not and if that’s the case… I’d rather be wrong, for once, but the problem is that there’s no way to know for certain. I’ve been stewing in this weird, complicated mishmash of emotions and confusion and I honestly have no idea how to deal with it. I thought time would help, as it usually does, but clearly this is a special case.

Before anyone says it, yes. I’m aware that this is a subtweet, which is not a cool or nice thing to do unless it’s a joke between friends. That’s another thing that made me not want to post this. I hate being mean to people who aren’t mean to me first, and as I said I have no solid proof from a trustworthy source without ulterior motives that this had anything to do with me (which is what I usually use as my standard for when to start hitting back) but I just can’t seem to let it go. Every time I have an AU I wanna share I get this creeping, uncomfortable, clawing feeling crawling underneath my skin and tightening in my chest and I hate it. I hate it so much I cannot even describe it properly.

It makes me wanna scrape my skin off with sandpaper and scrub myself clean from the inside out with an iron sponge. I wanna claw my heart out of my chest and shake it until it stops feeling like this and the only comfort here is that I’ve found some fancy new descriptions to use in my writing. Speaking of: I’ll post on AO3 again soon, hopefully today or tomorrow, but just like with my blog I’m so drained of energy and I feel so nauseous about posting I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it again, which sucks because I love posting on all these platforms! It shouldn’t feel like a chore but it does now and I don’t know if there’s anything that’ll ever make it fully go away. It’s become more manageable, hence why I’m posting this, so I’m clinging to the hope it’ll all ebb away at some point. Until then though my posting schedule is gonna be even more inconsistent than it usually is, so I’m very sorry about that. Hope you all have a wonderful day and I’m sorry about the venty post I’ve subjected you to 😅

[potential-fate]

I sorta loathe the ts2 fat morph....

which has apparently become a project of it's own.

so I mentioned this vaguely somewhere, but thought I should make a generalize post about it. Mainly cause it'll probably affect any cc I make in the future so... there's that.

Anyway.... because I've spent the last few months sorta adding fat morphs to some of my really old clothing, I quickly realized that I didn't have to deal with EA's "fat" morph. There is literally nothing stopping me from just... making it look better/how I want it to.

Anyways, long story short, I'm picky. There are a decent amount of nice bodyshapes out there, and while I like them, I don't like having multiples of the same outfit (it's the same reason I ended up going with Sunshine hair.) I like sticking to the game's original setup, which in the case of fit states, is unfortunately limited.

I also spend most of my time posing and doing story posts, so I'm not a fan of the much larger bodyshapes, even though I love them in theory.... because they clip a ton, and make more work for me later. So I wanted something that I liked 🤔 but also didn't fuck with the in-game animations too much.

Also, I just sorta like the pear-shaped chunky body type (it's not at all cause it resembles mine lmao nope.... not at all.)

anyways, idk if anyone is even still reading this, but uh... yeah.

I guess this is me, introducing the "sorta chunky, sorta pear-shaped, 'still not really a fat morph' in my opinion because game limitations" bodyshape/fatmorph? (Or, in short cause filename size 'pfate pearshape'.)

At least as an idea. idk if anyone is at all interested in this. but if they are, I can share whatever people want about it/resources for it? idk it's not like I have WSOs cause I honestly don't know how to use them let alone make them. I tend to just make my morphs by hand.

But on a technical note, I think I have most of the Digi Marvine feet naked meshes defaults changed to this, and some other stuff too. mainly Club Crimson stuff, because frankly, I'm still using the files I had from 2012 so none of them had morphs at all (though I'm sure someone somewhere HAS added morphs to them.)

[[ TL;DR is this: I felt like I needed to make a post about it, cause some of the stuff I'm gonna be sharing coming up has fat-morphs based on this. things like defaults that either didn't have morphs so I added them, or they had morphs but I edited them anyways because I was defaulting them with specific sims in mind (like Jorah, Alex or Ginevra) and I wanted a post that I could link back to for reference on those posts. ]]

in any case, if I make a default and change the morphs from ones that already exist, and you WANT the defaults with the original morphs, that's very easy to switch out and I will gladly do it if you ask lol. otherwise I'll probably edit things as I see fit since uhm. well I make cc 99.9% for myself 😂😅

Other age turnarounds under the cut, cause this is too long already.

EU Bodies (Left: Maxis Standard/thin, right: Pfate-Pearmorphs)

TU Bodies (Left: Maxis Standard/Thin, right: Pfate-Pearmorphs)

CU Body (Left: Maxis Standard/Thin, right: Pfate-Pearmorphs)

CU body changed the least from the original fat-morph, then the elder femme frame, I would say? cause the elder frame already had a sort of pear shape (that sorta inspired the other femme ages.) the others are varying degrees of change, with AM being the strongest change by far.

[kallie-den]

A Commanding Weakness Ch. 3

The ship's muscular, boisterous chief of security, Samira Carter, is summoned by Dr. Hiraga for an appointment in medbay. But when the doctor starts playing into her deepest fantasies, will her strength be enough to overcome her secret fetish: that she gets off on feeling weak

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Chief Samira Carter was having a good day. It was her day off, and as chief of security on the Inyx, she didn’t get many of those. Especially not now that they had chased Wasp, the criminal vandal-hacker, all the way to the furthest and most dangerous parts of the rim of Alliance space. This was the kind of time when standards slipped and tempers frayed, and it was Chief Carter’s job to make sure that didn’t happen. Captain Vasser was perfectly capable of running a tight ship, of course, but it wasn’t appropriate to dirty the captain’s hands with every petty squabble and misdeed amongst the crew.

Dealing with all that fell to Chief Carter. Nobody talked back to a good security officer, and she was a great security officer.

As she walked through the Inyx’s passageways and bulkheads, everyone who she passed looked at her with a healthy mixture of fear, respect, and admiration. On her days off, Chief Carter was particularly grateful to be able to bask in that last one. She put a hell of a lot of effort into her body, and she was always glad to get some appreciation for it. Tall and broad-shouldered, she certainly had the build of a security officer, and she spent just about every spare hour she could in the Inyx’s gymnasium keeping her large, prominent muscles nicely toned and finely honed.

When she was off-duty, like today, the regs even permitted her to wear a simple, black tank top instead of the usual button-up uniform jacket. She loved the looks it put on the faces of some of the younger girls on the crew.

But today she had something more to bother with than winking at the women ogling her to make them blush. She had an appointment with the ship’s chief medical officer.

“Hey, doctor,” Chief Carter called out, as she walked into the medbay. “How’s it going?”

“Chief.” Dr. Hiraga rose to meet her, a warm, professional smile on her face. “Thank you for coming. I trust I haven’t interrupted anything important? I was under the impression that you were off duty, but you look busy.”

“Don’t worry.” Chief Carter laughed heartily. “I was just pumping some iron. I’m afraid I had to come straight from the gym.”

She knew Dr. Hiraga was reacting to the sheen of sweat covering her muscular body. In truth, it was simply how Chief Carter often liked to present herself. It usually had the desired effect. Her rich, olive skin looked incredible that way, she’d often been told. She could have showered, but instead she’d just taken a little time to make sure her chin-length bob of black hair looked good.

Dr. Hiraga wasn’t her usual type. But you never knew.

“I’ll be sure not to keep you,” Dr. Hiraga replied. “As you know, it’s mostly just a check-up.”

“I’m sure it’ll be quick,” Chief Carter quipped as the two of them went to sit down. “As you can see, I’m in great shape.”

Dr. Hiraga laughed politely. “I’m sure. But today we’re more interested in your mental health than your physical health.”

“Pfft. I don’t really go in for that kind of stuff, but alright.” Chief Carter sat back, one arm resting over the back of her chair. “What do you need to ask?”

The doctor pulled something up on her datapad. “Well, it’s been a long tour, and we haven’t seen much success so far. How are you handling the stress?”

Chief Carter shrugged easily. “It’s nothing. I’m used to it.”

“Are you sure?” Dr. Hiraga pressed. “As chief of security, there’s a lot of pressure on your shoulders.”

“My shoulders can handle it.” Chief Carter flexed a little, grinning. “If I get frustrated, all I need to do is picture what I’m gonna do to that Wasp once we get our hands on her.”

“That’s certainly what I like to hear.” Something lively and daring suddenly flashed through Dr. Hiraga’s eyes and - to Chief Carter’s shock - she bit her bottom lip. “Don’t worry, Chief. I trust you. I’m looking at those shoulders of yours very, very carefully.”

She was plainly flirting and, for once, Chief Carter was too stunned to flirt back. This was the last thing she’d expected from the ship’s mousy doctor.

“Right.” She laughed awkwardly, immediately unsure if she’d simply imagined it.

“Do you feel you have coping methods for the stresses that your role presents?” Dr. Hiraga asked, flipping back to professionalism. “Friends? Hobbies? Ways to blow off steam?”

“Well, sure. That’s what I go to the gymnasium for.” Chief Carter gestured at her biceps. “There’s no better way to deal with things than lifting something nice and heavy. It gives you a goal to strive for. Gets you out of your own head. It feels great, even if it does leave you a little sweaty.”

“So I see.” Dr. Hiraga’s eyes flashed again. “You make it sound very appealing, Chief. Perhaps I’ll have to pay you a visit at the gym sometime - if you wouldn’t mind, of course.”

Her flirtatious tone threw the security chief off-balance again. “You mean, to work out? Sure. I’d be more than happy to show you the ropes, spot for you, stuff like that.”

“Oh, no.” Dr. Hiraga giggled uncharacteristically. “I was just thinking that I’d love to watch.”

Chief Carter blinked and then looked at her sharply. There was no way she had imagined that. Dr. Hiraga was certainly in some kind of mood. Besides her flirtiness, she was calmer and more assured than Chief Carter had ever seen before. And… was she wearing something underneath her uniform? Chief Carter could see, just barely, a few hints of something black and shiny. It looked kinky.

A slow smile crept over Chief Carter’s face. Was Dr. Hiraga having some kind of midlife crisis? Whatever was happening, it was clearly good for her. The doctor had always been so high-strung, and if discovering her wild side was helping her to get over that, Chief Carter was happy for her.

Plus, she’d be happy to help. Fraternizations between officers were strictly regulated, of course, but as chief of security, Chief Carter felt entitled to bend the rules a little, provided she was being discreet. Dr. Hiraga had never really caught her eye before, but she certainly wasn’t bad-looking, and Chief Carter found herself suddenly curious about what, exactly, was going on under that uniform.

“Sure,” Chief Carter replied slowly, grinning. “You can come watch. I bet there are all kinds of things I could show you.”

“I bet.” Dr. Hiraga took a moment to smile daringly at her before moving on. “Well, I think it’s safe to say that you’re doing great. Now let’s take care of the procedure.”

Chief Carter suddenly frowned. “The procedure?” She’d heard nothing about this.

“An inoculation,” Dr. Hiraga explained. “We’re entering a region of space inhabited by a unique void-faring alien species called the Kressari. They make use of a unique song with mind-altering effects. I’ve devised a simple procedure to protect each of us from those effects.”

“I see,” Chief Carter replied cautiously. This was all news to her. “What does it involve?”

“A simple holo-stimulant nano-implant, based on our ship’s very own holodeck technology.” Dr. Hiraga stood up and started making a few preparations. “It’s injected via the aural canal and attaches to the optic nerve. From there, it makes use of holographic projections that can cancel out other mind-altering effects.”

“Huh.” Chief Carter was taken aback. She trusted Dr. Hiraga, obviously, but she’d never heard of the Kressari before, and this was the kind of thing she’d expect to find out about in a briefing or a ship-wide announcement. “And… this is all coming from Captain Vasser, right?”

“Why, of course.” Dr. Hiraga turned back to her and handed her datapad to the security chief. “Here.”

Chief Carter looked. Sure enough, it was right there - an order to inoculate the crew just as Dr. Hiraga had described, signed by the captain herself. That was more than enough to set Chief Carter at ease.

“What do you need me to do?” Chief Carter asked, shrugging.

“Over here, please.”

Dr. Hiraga beckoned Chief Carter over from her desk to one of the large, reclining examination chairs that occupied the medbay, surrounded by various pieces of medical equipment. Chief Carter obligingly hopped up into the chair and lay down, resting her head on the comfortable headrest. Dr. Hiraga bustled next to her, preparing for the procedure.

“Your hand, please,” the doctor said.

Chief Carter offered it to her immediately, but froze when she saw what the doctor was holding. “Um… what is that for?”

The doctor had reached under the chair and retrieved a large, sturdy-looking leather cuff, attached to the examination chair by a length of cable.

“I’m afraid restraints are standard procedure for this kind of thing,” Dr. Hiraga replied calmly. “Just in case. A few brief muscle spasms aren’t out of the question. We wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“Uh-huh,” Chief Carter said nervously.

This day was getting stranger and stranger but she had no reason to question the ship’s doctor, especially when she was acting on the captain’s orders. Still, Chief Carter found herself beginning to sweat and squirm as Dr. Hiraga moved carefully around the bed attaching the restraints - one for each wrist and each ankle.

“Y-you know, these might not actually help all that much.” Chief Carter made a show of tensing her muscles, and did her best to keep her voice light and jovial. “I’m sure they’re good enough for most of your patients, but I bet I could bust out in a heartbeat if I really tried.”

Dr. Hiraga had moved away to inspect her datapad, but she glanced back with a look of intense amusement on her face. “Oh, I don’t know about that.”

Something about her complete and total assurance sent a shiver down Chief Carter’s spine. “Yeah?”

“These are designed to hold anyone, chief,” Dr. Hiraga said. “And I do mean anyone. But, if you like, feel free to try them.”

Chief Carter blinked. “Huh.”

“Try it,” Dr. Hiraga repeated. “Try and break out. Give it your best shot.”

That light in her eyes was back, and there was something unreadable in the amusement on her face. This wasn’t the uptight, professional doctor Chief Carter was used to. “No, uh, I was just kidding around,” Chief Carter replied bashfully. “I wouldn’t want to break anything.”

“Not much chance of that, I promise you.” An unusual smirk came to the doctor’s face. “Besides, you’ve got me curious. Go ahead.”

“N-no.” Now, Chief Carter was really struggling to keep her voice light. “I mean, I-“

“What’s the matter?” Dr. Hiraga dared insistently. The flirtiness in her voice was back too. “The big, strong chief of security doesn’t want to put on a show? That doesn’t sound like you! You’re not scared, are you?”

Chief Carter couldn’t ignore that. It was a regular refrain between her gym buddies back on Earth, and she never backed down from a challenge. “Of course not!” she shot back, her cheeks slightly red. “Just don’t go blaming me if I break your chair. I warned you.”

Dr. Hiraga simply nodded and stood back to watch, a lurid, curious expression on her face. Chief Carter knew she couldn’t back down now. She sat up as much as she was able, braced herself against the chair with her left arm, and then started to bend her right, engaging her powerful biceps as much as she could to try and fight against the restraints.

Nothing.

Chief Carter had been hoping to at least feel them budge. They didn’t. There was no give. No elasticity. The restraints were merciless. She strained as hard as she could, uncomfortably conscious of the doctor’s gaze, but all she managed to do was exhaust herself. The longer she tried without success, the more a nameless, shameful tingling started to build within her body.

After a few more long moments, there was nothing for her to do but admit defeat.

When she slumped back into the examination chair, Chief Carter heard Dr. Hiraga laugh at her failure. That made her cheeks burn much, much hotter.

“You see?” Dr. Hiraga teased. “Now, allow me to just…”

She tapped a few times on the control panel next to the chair. There was a hum of energy coming from underneath Chief Carter, and then the cables connected to the cuffs around her wrists and ankles suddenly pulled tight, yanking the security chief’s thick, muscular limbs flat against the chair and binding her firmly in place. Chief Carter let out a surprised yelp.

“Doc! You could have warned me.”

“It’s all for your own safety,” Dr. Hiraga assured her. “Besides, does it really matter? You’re no more helpless now than you were before.”

Helpless. That word ran straight through Chief Carter’s body like a shock. “I’m not-“

“You know, it was very cute watching you strain just now.” Dr. Hiraga’s voice was edging beyond teasing, into mockery. “Huffing and puffing, straining and flexing. You looked so surprised! Not used to feeling overpowered, are you?”

A strangled noise erupted from Chief Carter’s throat. Words slipped away from her, as her body burned hotter and hotter.

“It was quite the sight,” Dr. Hiraga continued, walking around the bed so she could stand next to the chief’s head. “Just imagine if the rest of the crew saw you like this. Especially all those recruits you end up drilling. They’re so scared of you! I bet they wouldn’t be if they saw the big, strong, muscley Chief Carter looking as weak as a kitten.”

Chief Carter had to choke on her breath not to moan.

“Don’t worry. It won’t be for long. Although it could be, couldn’t it?” Dr. Hiraga reached out and stroked a finger along Chief Carter’s cheek. She was obviously enjoying that the chief couldn’t stop her. “I could keep you tied down here for a nice, long time if I really wanted to. It’s not like you could do anything to stop me, could you?”

“D-d-doctor!” Chief Carter spluttered. “T-this isn’t funny.”

“Come to think of it, let me just make sure we aren’t disturbed.” Dr. Hiraga tapped the console again, and Chief Carter heard the disconcerting clunk of the medbay’s doors locking shut. “You’re right, it’s not funny,” she said, turning back. “I’m not joking. I’m enjoying myself in a very different way.”

Chief Carter’s blood started to run cold. This wasn’t right. Dr. Hiraga didn’t behave this way. This was more than just a weird day. Something had happened - was happening - to the doctor. Something serious.

“D-Doctor Hiraga.” Chief Carter tried to make her voice firm instead of breathless. “Let me go. Right now.”

“No,” Dr. Hiraga replied at once. Hearing her say it like that, point-blank, confirmed Chief Carter’s worst fears. “ You haven’t taken your medicine yet, Chief Carter. I need to make sure you take your medicine. She told me to.”

“She? The captain?”

“No,” Dr. Hiraga said again. “Her.” She glanced up, momentarily addressing the room. “Computer. Activate the emergency medical hologram.”

Hidden projectors concealed all around the medbay whirred into life and, within just a few moments, an image made of hardlight materialized on the opposite side of the examination chair from Dr. Hiraga. Chief Carter recognized who it was at once, and it made her heart start pounding a double rhythm.

It was Wasp.

Chief Carter would have recognized the amoral hacker anywhere. She’d certainly spent enough time staring at her file. Those punk tattoos and that slicked streak of neon green hair were unmistakable. She’d never seen an image of Wasp looking quite like this, though. The hacker’s hologram was wearing an old-fashioned white-and-red nurse’s outfit that was made entirely out of shiny rubber and that was unapologetically porny in its tightness and skimpiness. Chief Carter hoped against hope that it was nothing more than a hologram, but her hopes were dashed when Wasp came to life with a malicious, impish grin.

“What’s the matter, doc?” Wasp drawled. “Have we got a rowdy patient on our hands?” She glanced down at Chief Carter, and then wolf-whistled theatrically. “Wow! They weren’t kidding. She’s a real beefcake.”

“What the-“ Chief Carter immediately redoubled her efforts to break free of the restraints, but that served only as a stomach-churning reminder of how helpless she was. Now that the restraints had been pulled tight, her efforts were even more futile. “Release me! Right now!”

“Nope!” Wasp replied breezily. “She just told you. You gotta take your medicine.”

“She…” Chief Carter turned toward the doctor. “Doctor Hiraga! How could you do this? Is she forcing you? Paying you? Blackmailing you? Or are you truly just-“

Her accusations died on her lips when, for the first time, she truly looked deep into Dr. Hiraga’s eyes. Earlier, she had only seen the dancing light of enjoyment and flirtation. Now she could look beyond that, and see it for what it was: nothing but a reflection caught in the glassy eyes of a doll. In truth, Dr. Hiraga’s eyes were blank. They were a yawning void, indicating nothing but a total lack of will or awareness.

All her gleeful teasing from before was gone too. Chief Carter instinctively realized that Dr. Hiraga wasn’t in control of herself. Earlier, she had been nothing but a puppet playing out her assigned part. Now that it was over, she was as limp as a discarded marionette.

And Wasp, of course, was the puppeteer.

“What have you done to her?” Chief Carter demanded.

“Just a little holodeck hypnotism,” Wasp answered lightly. “Don’t worry. You’ll get your taste soon enough.”

Chief Carter didn’t like the sound of that one bit. “And… you faked the captain’s seal?” she asked hopefully, even though she was already dreading the answer.

“No need.” Wasp giggled wickedly. “Vasser was the first. But not the last. Oh no.”

Chief Carter’s head was starting to spin. If Wasp already had Captain Vasser wrapped around her little finger, the whole ship was in danger. That made escaping even more urgent. She was the chief of security. It was her job to keep everyone safe, and that meant she needed to figure out how to get free.

“What are you going to do to me?” she demanded, as much as anything to try and keep Wasp talking.

“Why, me? Can’t you tell? I’m the emergency medical hologram!” Wasp twirled, almost flipping up her latex miniskirt. “The outfit is more than just fanservice for the doctor here. It’s just like she said. We’re going to give you a little procedure.”

That truly made Chief Carter’s blood run cold. “What kind of procedure?”

“She already told you, meathead,” Wasp mocked. “Well, not the stuff about it being an inoculation against aliens. That was bullshit. But yeah, we’re going to give you a fun little implant. Something to make you nice and docile for me.”

“That’ll never work!” Chief Carter raged at once. “I’ll never obey you!”

“That’s the spirit.” Wasp winked at her, before turning to Dr. Hiraga. “How are we looking, doc?”

“The implant is ready,” Dr. Hiraga replied. The lack of emotion in her voice was shocking. “However, my scanners indicate agitated theta rhythm activity from Chief Carter. It may interfere.”

“Hm.” Wasp stroked her chin thoughtfully. “Too much resistance, huh? Any suggestions?”

“A sedative is a possibility,” Dr. Hiraga said blankly. “But it would be necessary to fine-tune the dose. Too much or too little would render indoctrination ineffective.”

“I see,” Wasp mused, before a fresh grin came to her face. “We can worry about that later. For now, I have a different idea about how to deal with all that pesky resistance.”

“Good luck,” Chief Carter snorted. A faint hope had started to grow within her. All she had to do was hold out. Sooner or later, someone would come to find her. “You’ll need it. I’ll never break. Never. I’m as strong as steel.”

The devilish, lopsided grin that split Wasp’s face from ear to ear as she loomed over the captive security chief immediately wiped away Carter’s confidence.

“That’s the fun part, chief,” Wasp drawled. “You’re really, really not.”

“What are you talking about?” Chief Carter frowned nervously.

“You know, I’ve hacked all the way through your ship’s holographic systems and data,” Wasp crowed. “And wow, turns out everyone around here is hiding their dirty, kinky laundry in their holodeck scenarios! I guess that’s what comes of all this repressed, stuffed-shirt military shit. Anyway, I really, really liked what I found in yours.”

“N-no,” Chief Carter breathed, disbelieving, mortified.

“Oh yes,” Wasp cackled gleefully. “It's perfect. Almost cliché, really, but let no one say I’m not a fan of the classics.” She leaned in, putting her face very close to Chief Carter’s. “No wonder you were getting all hot and bothered when Doctor Hiraga was strapping you down.”

“S-shut up!”

Chief Carter had turned bright scarlet. She had never felt so humiliated. She longed to get up, to strike Wasp, to walk away - anything. But she couldn’t, and the certain knowledge of her own powerlessness itched at her, stimulating urges she longed to suppress.

“Honestly, you should be thanking me,” Wasp pronounced. “Just think of this as one of your naughty little fantasies come to life. Lie back and enjoy it. Enjoy feeling totally, pathetically weak and helpless.”

Those words were such a shock they made Chief Carter stop squirming. There was no denying it now. Wasp knew. Chief Carter couldn’t help running through her personal holodeck scenarios in the process - the naughty ones, the ones she kept secret. Among them were fantasies of being tied up and restrained. Fantasies of being overpowered. Fantasies of being drugged. The one thing they all had in common was defeat, and a specific angle of degradation.

Nothing got Chief Carter off harder than the thought of someone making the muscles and strength she was so proud of weak and useless, and then bullying her for it.

The way Dr. Hiraga was teasing her earlier had already hit uncomfortably close to home. The taunting smirk on her face as she’d watched the chief try and fail to break her bonds was something lifted straight from Chief Carter’s wet dreams. Now she understood why.

She prided herself on her strength. Her athleticism. Her impeccable physical condition. Someone watching it all fail her was a hot lash of humiliation that stirred up her body. It turned her stomach into a binding knot of craving and desperate, unbearable shame, and left her feeling like the ground had opened up beneath her, sending her tumbling, falling.

It was every bit as thrilling as it was horrifying, and a little voice at the back of Chief Carter’s mind always begged for more.

She whimpered. She couldn’t help it.

“Aw, look at that!” Wasp mocked. “The big strong bear has already turned into a meek little kitten. And I’ve barely had any fun yet.”

“S-shut up!” Chief Carter wished she had a wittier or more biting retort, but she didn’t. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t fucking think.

“Make me,” Wasp dared immediately. “Shut me up. C’mon. Oh, wait, you can’t. You’re trapped. You’re weak. Wanna take another run at those restraints?”

“I-I’m not,” Chief Carter insisted, and cringed when her voice came out as a whimper.

She couldn’t bring herself to try to break free again. She already knew what would happen, and how it would make her feel.

“Didn’t think so.” Wasp’s leering, victorious grin was another hot, humiliating lash. “Weak.”

Chief Carter started squirming again. She wasn’t even strong enough to keep herself from doing that.

“You can’t stop me doing anything I want,” Wasp pressed. “See?”

She reached out toward Chief Carter and stroked her fingertips over the lines of one of the muscular woman’s biceps. Her holographic form was made of hardlight, not flesh, but it was a close enough imitation to make Chief Carter twitch at the intimate touch. Wasp simply laughed at her plight.

“G-get off me!” Chief Carter protested weakly.

“Make me,” Wasp dared again. “Or else I’m going to go a lot further than just that. Like…”

The hacker bent over the examination chair, and it took Chief Carter far too long to realize that Wasp was about to kiss her. She tried to writhe out of the way but she could only move so much, and Wasp’s hands were immediately there to hold her head firm. The sensation of being overpowered by the person she was supposed to be apprehending sent an immediate quiver of shameful pleasure down Chief Carter’s spine.

Then Wasp kissed her.

There was nothing gentle or affectionate about the kiss. It was a pure power play. Wasp was making a show of the power she had over the restrained chief by claiming her lips and invading her mouth. Chief Carter couldn’t stop her, and couldn’t fight back.

So instead, she melted.

When Wasp finally pulled away, Chief Carter was left panting, her lips wet with drool, her cheeks stained with a girlish blush that didn’t suit her powerful body. The chief could see herself reflected in Wasp’s gleeful, malicious eyes, and what she saw there made her clench her thighs together in instinctive desperation.

“You see?” Wasp jeered. “You can’t stop me. You. Can’t. Stop. Me.”

“I-I…” The way the hacker drove the point home made it inescapable. Her words thundered through Chief Carter’s head, and the knot in her stomach kept binding tighter.

“But that’s just first base,” Wasp added, licking her lips. “And I’ve always been a greedy girl. The look on your face is already delicious, but I want way, way more. Let’s see…”

Wasp reached down Chief Carter’s body, and the chief saw white when she felt Wasp touch the belt buckle of her uniform pants.

“N-n-no!” she whined, as Wasp unfastened the buckle and unzipped her pants, pulling them down just a little to hang on her wide hips. “P… p…”

“Please?” Wasp threw back her head and laughed louder than ever. “Is that a ‘please’ I hear catching in your throat? Oh my god. I bet that stings, huh?”

“Hng… hrnngg.” Chief Carter was burning white hot. She wanted to escape from the heat of her own shame, but there was nowhere to go. She couldn’t even hide her face.

“Maybe ‘stings’ isn’t the right word,” Wasp said smugly. “But still. Big, bad Chief Samira Carter. I bet all the girls on the ship love you, huh? I wonder what they’d say if they saw you now. Tied up. Weak. Begging. Dripping wet.”

“Hffff.” Chief Carter tried to keep it out, but that suggestion wormed its way into her head. She found herself thinking about the women who had been ogling her earlier. The shame was ecstatic. “I-I’m… nnn…” she tried to say, fighting for her last shred of dignity. “Nnnot… wet…”

“Yeah? Let’s see, shall we?”

Wasp started peeling Chief Carter’s boxer shorts away from her body. The chief felt them come away sticky and wet. Wasp’s mocking laughter made her thrash her head from side to side.

“Remember what you were saying earlier?” she jeered. “Something about all the things you wanted to do to me when you caught me? How’s that looking now, chief?”

Chief Carter couldn’t answer. Her tongue hung limply out of her mouth. The sensation of falling was overwhelming.

“Maybe this’ll get you making some noise,” Wasp giggled, and pushed three of her fingers into the chief’s cunt.

Chief Carter let out one long, loud moan, girly and thick with pleasure. As soon as she heard the sound coming out of her own mouth, she tensed every single muscle in her body in an effort to stifle herself. It worked, but only just, and the way it made her back arch and her body writhe was just as humiliating as moaning.

When Wasp started pumping her fingers in and out in a rough, insistent rhythm, she lost control again. Wasp’s merciless bullying had put the muscular chief on a hair trigger, and the hacker seemed to know exactly how to touch her. Within moments, Chief Carter’s choked moans were forcing their way out of her throat and filling the medbay. The only thing louder was Wasp’s laughter, ringing inescapably in Chief Carter’s ears.

“Oh my god!” Wasp cried gleefully as she fucked her with her fingers. “Look at you now. I bet you couldn’t even pick yourself up out of that chair. I can’t believe this is all it takes. You’re so much easier than I thought you’d be, kitten.”

Her words made the boiling knot of humiliation and tension in Chief Carter’s stomach bind even tighter, and made her cunt clench down pitifully on Wasp’s fingers. The truth of her insults was what made Chief Carter truly burn. Her body felt like jelly. Even without the restraints, she wouldn’t be able to stand. Pleasure was robbing her of all her strength, and it was rapidly building to a mortifying peak.

“Gonna come for me already?” Wasp was increasing her pace, her thumb brushing against Chief Carter’s throbbing clit. “I didn’t know you were this much of a quickshot, too. It’s pathetic.”

“N-n-noooo,” Chief Carter howled in futile defiance.

“Oh yeah? Let’s see.”

Wasp did the cruelest thing possible: she started to pull back, making her strokes shallower and keeping her fingertips from reaching the most sensitive places inside Chief Carter’s body. And shamefully, the chief couldn’t find the strength to stop herself from thrusting forward with her hips as much as her restraints would allow, desperate for more stimulation.

She didn’t want this, but her body needed it. Chief Carter was so unbelievably weak to Wasp’s torture.

Wasp howled with laughter as she played Chief Carter like a musical instrument. Her wide, manic eyes were fixated on her victim’s face as she drew strength and glee from the increasingly humiliated, needy, pleasure-drunk expressions that Chief Carter wore.

“Look at you,” Wasp mocked. “You can’t even stop yourself from enjoying it.”

Shamefully, Chief Carter couldn’t help but feel an instinctive, animal gratitude when Wasp started finger-fucking her in earnest again, bringing the wave of her orgasm to its crest. She screamed like a trapped beast as she came, absolute humiliation burning through her mind as she soiled Wasp’s fingers with her wetness.

Wasp took a moment to bask in her victory, but soon turned serious. “Doc,” she called out to one side. “The implant, if you please.”

Dr. Hiraga, who had been standing at attention on the other side of the examination chair, picked up a hypospray from a nearby tray and handed it across to Wasp. Still in the throes of orgasm, Chief Carter only caught a quick look. She saw something pointed and threatening attached to one end.

“Hold her,” Wasp commanded.

The brainwashed doctor moved to hold Chief Carter’s head still. Chief Carter was starting to come down from her humiliating, orgasmic high and regain a little sense, but she still wasn’t able to fight Dr. Hiraga off. The doctor was slight and far from athletic, but Chief Carter felt as weak as a kitten. Her proud muscles wouldn’t obey her, and so she was helpless as Wasp held the hypospray to her ear.

“Time to take your medicine,” Wasp drawled, before pulling the trigger.

Accompanied by the sound of decompressing air, the procedure felt like an icicle being driven deep into Chief Carter’s ear - deeper than was physically possible, so deep it felt like it was reaching her brain. She squirmed uselessly as she felt her mind curdle, the intrusive sensation of the nano-liquid driving all thoughts out of her head. Then, as the implant attached to her optic nerve, strange, glitch-like artifacts started to flake across her vision.

Chief Carter felt utterly helpless. Wasp was inside her now. She could sense something moving within her, changing her, a spider spreading its web throughout her brain. She wasn’t sure if it was a phantom sensation or not.

“How are we looking, doc?” Wasp asked, after a moment.

Dr. Hiraga checked her datapad. “Implant is active and ready for use.���

“Perfect!” Wasp drew herself up authoritatively in an impression of Captain Vasser made all the more mocking by her slutty nurse’s outfit. “Now, on my mark.”

She snapped her fingers.

Dr. Hiraga tapped on her datapad and at once, the holo-stimulant implant behind Chief Carter’s eyes came to life, blaring colors that were impossibly vivid and blindingly bright. Captain Vasser shuddered and seized up as the holographic lights overstimulated her nerves and saturated all of her senses. She couldn’t just see the lights, she could hear them. Taste them. Feel them.

A spiral.

It was a spiral, spinning; a dizzying kaleidoscope that drowned her as it turned. The implant blared so bright it shone all the way through her eyes, turning her eyeballs themselves into spinning, spiral orbs that glowed with electric intensity, bathing the space in front of Chief Carter with an unnatural light she could not herself see.

She couldn’t see the room, only the spiral, as it sunk deep into her psyche and imprinted upon her.

Eventually, mercifully, it stopped. Chief Carter slumped completely limp. No workout had ever left her feeling more wrung out. Her head was throbbing like it was about to split open, and she could still see that shining spiral whenever she blinked. She felt ruined.

“Talk to me, doc,” Wasp commanded. She was watching Chief Carter intently.

“All the readouts are good,” Dr. Hiraga reported in a flat monotone. “Preliminary test complete. Basic hypno-conditioning has been implanted successfully, along with the triggers you specified.”

“Perfect.” Wasp’s voice turned breathy and eager. “Fuck, that was hot. I bet the cap would be creaming her panties if she’d seen that. Too bad she’s stuck on the bridge. Oh well! Let’s get her free. The restraints are getting old.”

Dr. Hiraga obediently tapped on the nearby control panel, and the cuffs around Chief Carter’s wrists and ankles all simultaneously came loose.

Chief Carter couldn’t believe her luck. Finally, Wasp had made a mistake.

She felt like shit, but she wasn’t brainwashed like Dr. Hiraga. Not yet. She was still her own woman. And now she was free. Hidden reserves of strength surged within her. If nothing else, it would be enough to deal with Wasp, subdue Dr. Hiraga, and alert the rest of the Inyx’s crew.

Chief Carter took one single deep breath before she leaped to her feet and threw herself at Wasp.

It was instinct more than anything. You couldn’t knock out a hardlight hologram, but you could sure as hell shove one aside for a moment. And a moment was all she would need. She raised her fist, ready to strike, but was greeted with nothing but Wasp’s supremely confident smirk.

“Melt, kitten,” the hacker said.

As soon as that first word washed over Chief Carter, she was undone. The post-hypnotic trigger took hold of her in an instant. Her muscles failed her. Her raised fist slumped back to her side, and she collapsed to her knees as her legs turned to jelly.

Finally, it clicked. It didn’t matter how strong Chief Carter was. Wasp was in control.

As she knelt before the hacker, Chief Carter felt like the weakest, most helpless woman in the galaxy. And it made her cunt start to drip again.

“That’s what I like to see,” Wasp cooed, as she looked into Chief Carter’s eyes. “Defeat. See? Medicine doesn’t always go down easy. But it’s good for you, chief. It really is.”

Chief Carter didn’t say anything. She was done. Her mind was still her own, for now, but her body was Wasp’s. She’d lost. There was no point in fighting. It was over.

“Here,” Wasp said. “Something to take care of the aftertaste.”

She lifted her white latex miniskirt and, with a wave of her hand, conjured up a huge hardlight cock, mounted to her body with straps and a harness. Wasp reached down and guided Chief Carter’s head to it, pushing the tip of the holographic strap-on past her lips.

Chief Carter started to suck. Even if she’d had the strength to fight, she no longer had the will.

“I think we can call the test a complete success,” Wasp purred, admiring the broken, muscular woman kneeling before her and sucking her strap-on. “Let’s take her the rest of the way.”

She snapped her fingers, and Dr. Hiraga reactivated the holo-stimulant implant.

Lights blared back into life, outshining Chief Carter’s pupils and irises with spinning spiral eyes and drowning both pleasure and humiliation with blissful, hypnotic oblivion.

—

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