#and i'm stupid
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In bbc merlin you hear all the time about the Old Religion - which implies existence of the New Religion. Only recently i worked out what it's ought to be.
It's Christianity.
#it's bloody christianity#and i'm stupid#how could i not have realized earlier?#christianity and not even a chapel#that's scandalous tbh#you don't even have to comment on it#just put it there#but yeah#king arthur and the knights of the round table were looking for the holy grail#and... i knew it at some level#some but not conscious#hell#which reminds me#how long i've spent trying to come up with things people can swear onto when concepts of heaven hell and (big singular almighty) God+#+are foreign to them#(for fanfiction purpose)#(completely in vain as it turns out)#i... kinda refuse#honestly i'm flabbergasted#merlin bbc#as we're putting unexpected shit into internet's vastness today#the adventures of merlin#merlin#Q
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Two mafiosos drinking wine
#i feel obligated to make this post#actually...is that even wine in Sy's glass..???#why does he drink it with ice#that has to be juice#and I'm stupid#lappland#arknights#sylus#love and deepspace#cyg rambles
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it's been a while since I last asked about Jean! you can skip if some of these you've answered already <3
7) Vice-Versa! If your OC is in the modern day, what fantasy class would they be? Would they be a different race? (Or more specifically, could you tell us more about Jean's TSOT alter ego?)
12) Does your OC interact with other people's OC? If so, who's their best OC friend?
Yoooooooou! You make my heart so happy! I wanna spoil you!! 💝
Hey real quick!! If I tagged you, please feel free to ignore this! Don't read it if you don't want to! Question 12 involves credit where credit is due!
7) Vice-Versa! If your OC is in modern day, what fantasy class would they be? Would they be a different race?
So when I think about TSOT stuff I honestly use D&D rules because that's what I grew up on as a kid! When I first made Jean I thought about her being a Tiefling Bard! But dude, Jimmy is the best bard in all of the kingdoms!
So I scrapped it and had a really fun idea as I was writing up my Fantasy stuff for SP. Jean is the Black Knight! I love, love Authurian legend and I couldn't resist making a nod to one of my favorite video game characters! Zelgius from Fire Emblem had the coolest armor and story! (Huge info dump ahead, I'm so sorry)
So, if they're just kids being kids: Jean loved the fact that most of the girls were the knights! Wendy with the battle maiden looking absolutely fire! But, it was kind of boring that Clyde was the only "bad guy". So she decided to dress as the mysterious black knight. Every time her friends would get together to play, she would find a reason to be like "Awh sorry guys, I got stuff to do today!" Or pretend to be sick!
Then, when everyone else was busy with their games, deep in their battles. She's show up covered head to toe in a black motorcycle helmet, a black battle vest (she probably picked up from Jimbos after begging him to help her.), black pants, and black boots. (You get the point.) She orders a sword and a cape from party city or some silly shit and just shows up.
While she wears the costume, she keeps her mouth shut. She goes out of her way to be as mysterious as possible and dramatically makes a show of fighting the others. If she's losing, she'll find a way to make the other person look cool but make a grand escape! She picks up this persona just to make everyone else look cool because she knows she looks like an edgy asswipe! Kids being kids, right?
BUT THE AU! OH THE AU!
I rambled before that I love Cowboys, but I move fantasy stuff so much!
So we still go with the black knight angle! But before that she was a royal knight to The Grand Wizard! Fought side by side with Butters the Merciful! Brothers-in-arms with Ser Clyde and Ser Tolkien! A circle of knights who swore to do right by the human kingdoms.
Then, the war happens over that damn artifact. It's power tempting both the elven and human men. Battle after battle begins to wear her down. She starts to lose the will to find good in what she does. When the ground becomes soaked with the blood of soldiers throwing themselves into her blade, and for what? For power? Power they'll never see? All because some men who already hold enough power told them to?
It breaks her.
So she comes home to that found family and gets into a fight before the Grand Wizard and her brothers. Not one of steel like she's so used to. Instead, the Grand Wizard brands her a traitor and casts her out so she's forced to leave.
Stripped of her name, her brotherhood, her honor.
Something about that sends her spiraling. The isolation sends her into one of the great forests where she's decided that's what she'll protect. She'll live there and those woods will be hers. Because at least she was good at that.
There, she protects people who want nothing to do with the war. The little people caught in the middle. If people think to bring the war into her woods, she dons the armor, the two-handed silver sword, and becomes the weapon she was so good at being.
She slowly stops being Jean Wellman and more of a weapon. Even a broken sword is at least useful. A broken human? Not so much.
Still edgy? Yes. Do I eat that shit up? Oh, absolutely.
I end it there because I like to leave it open for other characters' influence! That includes other ocs!
12) Does your OC interact with other people's OC? If so, who's their best OC friend.
Oh! Oh! I love this question!! Because that means I get to brag about others!
Real talk! I get super nervous talking to people about Jean! There's this part of me that finds it so...selfish? But I want to hear everything about other people's! And if they want to talk about how their OC would interact with mine? Oh my heart!!
@lulu24784 was the first person to interact with me when it came to our blorbos! She drew this beautiful piece of Jean and Lulu when we first started talking that is still my iPad background! It brings me so much joy when I look at it!
She drew them with the friendship bracelet and I made it canon! In every picture, where it makes sense, she's got the bracelet on. It's on that wrist forever. I have these little thoughts of Jean showing up in her flower shop and spending hours just yapping and playing soft music on her guitar while she watches her friend move around doing her day to day. Her favorite thing to do is to put on some music and try to coax Lulu into dancing with her. Seeing someone you adore be good at the thing they're good at makes her so very happy.
That leads to her maybe stepping on the poor girls feet because she's a big, clumsy idiot. Especially because of their height difference, but any chance to be close with someone who means so much to her.
That leads to some pretty confusing feelings for Jean later on, but at the end of the day, she knows she loves Lulu and wants her happy!
Another person who Jean is close to is Morgan! @tinyalcoholicwitch is my best friend irl! I met her back when I was twelve and we've been friends ever since! We've bounced from Fandom to Fandom together and she bravely tried to follow me here! So she made the gorgeous Morgan for Jean to have as a friend! Jean loves her bestie so very much!

She also drew me a beautiful piece that is my laptop background! Because my friends inspire me and it makes me want to be better!
Jean and Morgan got into piercings around the same time, so they got their face piercings together. Jean immediately made the "joke" of kissing, and they would lock together like puzzle pieces. Jean's favorite thing to do with her is to crawl into her window late at night. Yes, she could have taken the front door, but that would have woken Morgan's mom, and that's rude! So she crawls in and spends hours with her, most times spending the night. She has to be picking Morgan up or holding her every chance she can get! Morgan is a huge reason why Jean stays so fit, so she can carry her favorite princess like she deserves!
And you know she would adore Anh! We haven't talked much but from what you've posted about her, I know Jean would think she's the coolest person ever! 🫶
#south park#south park oc#sp oc#my oc stuff#jean wellman#oc ask prompts#oh god dude#i yapped too much#I'm so sorry!!#I'm also sorry for the tags!#I just want to give art credit where credit is due!!#both Lulu and my Tiny Alcoholic Witch are so talented!#oc art#not my art!#i love you art person#I still squeal when I see these pieces#I have a lot more thoughts but like I said#i get embarrassed because i never want to cross a line#or get annoying#i wanna let you know tag readers#you could never bother me#and if you make a headcanon for Jean#I'll sob and probably make it canon#my dms and inbox are always open for that reason!#Also I'm actually working on Jean's TSOT outfit!#armor is just really fucking hard to draw#and I'm stupid
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My necklace search is fruitless 😔
#probably because it's one than more necklaces#what the fuck#more than one#and I'm stupid#misha yaps :]
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Y know that @littlethingsrae and @chuitu have a discord server right?
Why don't you join, it'll be much fun in there!
:D
Whoever is sending me this idk about you but I would prefer if you don't go anonymously and ask me to join a space.
I know the creators there are fun to talk to and totally awesome but if I would join then I would join on my own terms.

no hate to anyone but just don't do this please.
#asks#rambles#or maybe it's just me#and I'm stupid#idk how to tag this#idk man just tell me in dms#or don't go#anonymous#please
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thinking about telling my parents i don't think i can finish university in the given 6 semester, and i'll need another 7th semester to be able to do it.
i didn't want to admit this and i really thought i could do it, but having 12 subjects/semester is too much for me.
i'm scared, idk how much i'd have to pay, and it will take me longer, but i want to finish it. because it's just too much for me like this, and it makes me want to give up.
:(
#i'm in BA#and i want to get MA after#because i want to do this!#i'm interested and willing!#but this is too much.#i need to admit that i'm not doing as well as my peers seem to be.#and also that i have depression.#been having it for many years i need to admit that it actually makes things harder#i'm scared of this decision#it will make me feel like i'm a failure#and i'm stupid#and lazy!#and aaaalll these bad things.#but i want to do it i just need more time.#sigh...#talking to the internet again......#personal#.txt#also i'm autistic#the stereotype is that we're genuises but i think i'm just fucking slow#:(#i'm sad.#this exam season might actually kill me. not even joking.
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I just found the funniest font ever

Like. What is this. Why is this. Who is the target audience of this?
#I was playing around with ellipsus when I saw this#It's so funny#writing#writeblr#writers on tumblr#ellipsus#Ellipsus writing#sillyposting#Someone saw cursive and thought “nah that's too readable.”#Confession now that this is my most popular post ever. I have completely forgotten what fic I was writing when I made this#I'm 90% sure it's a scarian fic#fanfiction#ao3#WHYS THIS MY MOST LIKED POST EVER???#ITS SO STUPID#I SENT IT TO MY GC AND IT GOT LIKE. 3 LAUGH EMOJIS AND THAT WAS IT#AND NOW ITS LIKE.#100K#?????
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Bro thinks she could just thug it out
#this is so stupid#worst thing i've ever drawn i think#disappointed in myself for this lowkey but I'm gonna post it anyways#art#my art#fanart#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing fanart#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mw#curly mw#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing#wrong organ#mouthwashing meme#queen never cry#artists on tumblr#clearlydusty
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I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.
Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.
He was really nice.
Yeah.
It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?
You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."
You didn't, loves, you didn't.
We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.
I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.
Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.
When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"
No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.
Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?
Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.
That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.
I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.
A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.
I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.
So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!
Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.
You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.
I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.
I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.
It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.
Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.
#listen to old auntie Shades#serious#fuck I don't know how to tag this#I should probably read-more this but I'm not sure where#and now I need to go take a walk for my stupid mental health#you never stop processing#you do it over and over and over and over#and hope it gets a bit easier each time#Someone might get upset by using prey#but 'preferred prey' is an important concept from the predator's view#it doesn't mean the people are inherently prey#you feel me?#it's the best word I can find for the concept#neil gaiman#adjacent
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Sure, you know how to self-flagellate, but do you know how to apologize? Saying "I'm a stupid idiot" is not the same thing as saying "I did something wrong."
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hold on. Was suck him good and hard through his jorts supposed to conjour the image of someone who has an unzipped fly because this entire time I've been imagining someone slurping on wet denim
#This thought came to me out of nowhere I sat bold upright in bed#And realised I'm maybe stupid?#Text post#Jorts
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I asked people their favourite EPIC: the musical song and drew silly, rough sketches about them (sorry)
#epic the musical#the odyssey#epic the musical fanart#greek mythology#epic odysseus#it's very stupid I'm sorry#what is drawing anymore#long post#cibiart
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THE FAVORITE COUSINS OF THE FAMILY REUNION YAAAAAYYYYY i love them so much they're so silly and stupid.
Now we wait for Swansea .
Much better than Jim and Curls that's for sure
#my art#fanart#fanartist#illustration#mouthwashing fanart#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing daisuke#mouthwashing#pyjamas#pyjama party#hello kitty#batman#sillies#anya musume#mouthwashing anya#nurse anya#intern daisuke#daisuke mouthwashing#daisuke mw#daisuke fanart#i'm so stupid hehe
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Kinda feel like there's some untapped meme/reaction image potential from old horror movie trailers...
#just saying#b movie#horror movies#50s horror#memes#reaction image#old horror movies#this is stupid#meme template#movie trailers#horror#schlock#exclamation points#i was bored#50s movies#why?#reaction meme#this is dumb#i'm so tired#why not
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so i clicked on a wizard101 crowns trivia i hadn't done before
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Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.
All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.
#your brother is a vampire. he's sitting across the table from you chatting with your mother about her day#and he's dead and he's gone and he's never coming back.#he laughs the same and he talks the same but his arm is cold when he grabs you in a headlock and your dog won't be in the same room with hi#he'll still hang around watching TV with you and give you wedgies and make stupid jokes#but you can't tell him about the bullies at school anymore because this thing with your brother's face will just find them and kill them.#and not even stupid fucking Jason deserves what the monster in your dead brother's skin would do to him.#your brother is dead and lost and right there in arm's reach and gone forever with no hope of ever getting him back.#i'm sure there are corollaries to be written about like ghosts and zombies but this is the one i'm personally hung up on recently
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