qenty

[sabraeal]

Say What You Mean (Mean What You Say)

[Read on AO3]

The first of my annual Holiday Gifts this year! Of the two AnS pairings chosen, Suzuri won its place by a landslide, though this concept just squeaked by over the next chapter of Out of Context. As promised, this piece is inspired by @onedivinemisfit​‘s fabulous Suzuri art (sorry I let her keep her stockings)

Suzu’s sponging off the last runny bits of pork grease from his hands when Yuzuri hooks her chin over his shoulder to sigh, “You’re unbelievable, you know that?”

It’s certainly not the first time he’s heard it-- hell, it’s not the first time he’s heard it from her, specifically. But this time he furrows his brow as well as his napkin, tossing it into the bin as he grumbles, “I haven’t even done anything.”

“Except be a weirdo!” Her hand sweeps out from under her cloak, jabbing at the crumpled paper. “You are the only person alive that asks to have his dumpling wrapped.”

“I don’t like getting my hands greasy!” He holds them out, clean front and back, only marred by a few ink stains and a recent burn from the forge. “Do you want to put greasy hands back in your gloves? Or-- or smudge up a whole page of notes because you forgot a spot? I don’t think so!”

“Just shove it in your mouth like everyone else.” Her elbow bumps into his as he falls into step beside her. “It’s not hard!”

“Why do I have to change how I eat it?” He’s close, close enough that their hands skim past each other, and ugh, it would be exciting if he wasn’t just so used to it now. The whole being on top of each other and nothing happening thing has been his every day for months now. “I don’t need to burn my whole mouth just because none of you can accept how superior my method is.”

“It’s not though.” She groans, gloves scrubbing down her face. “It’s just weird.”

“The lady didn’t act like it was weird,” he insists, his shoulder nudging into hers, trying to make a little room. It’s not like they’re in some little alleyway, meant for only cats to squeeze through; it’s Pavilion Street, and still she’s right on top of him. “Didn’t even say anything about it! Just wrapped it up all nicely, like she’d been doing it all day.”

White wool flares out, making room for Yuzuri’s arms to wearily lift. “Because you’re one of her best customers, Suzu! She’d probably tuck it in for a nap too if it kept you coming back.”

He blinks at her, mild for a moment, before he finally offers, “I think if there was something odd about it, she would say so. She’s sort of the dumpling expert, don’t you think?”

Her arms drop, the one closest to him tangling up in his elbow before they get their personal space all sorted out, him on one side, her on the other. Again, she’s too close, her eyes heavily lidded, like she’s contemplating the number of ways she could make a fall down the stairs look like an accident.

“I think,” she says, so slow, like she’s savoring the words, “that there’s really no one else like you, Suzu.”

His mouth works for a moment, stymied. “Is that a compliment?”

There’s few people who can glare from the corner of their eyes, but Yuzuri’s talented enough to be one of them. “No.”

For only being a single syllable, it’s a palpable hit-- to his pride at least. Suzu grunts, but it only mists into the air; there one moment and blown away another. His fault for asking, really, when he already knew the answer.

As if he wasn’t smarting enough from her antics, Yuzuri lodges one of her bony elbows into his side-- sharp enough to puncture armor, let alone his delicate stomach-- and surges past him like a dog off her lead. “Are the tents up already?”

Suzu blinks, tearing his attention from where Yuzuri bounces on her heels to a cluster of yurts huddle off the side of the road, their pennants snapping with every sharp gust. He tallies up his mental arithmetic-- oh, what he wouldn’t give to be able to offload this busy work onto Kazaha too-- to arrive an answer that becomes more obvious the longer they stand there beneath the snow and lamps. “The winter festival started three days ago. At least by my count.”

“Three days ago?” Her eyes round, incredulous. “No way? What were we even doing?”

That, Suzu knows off the top of his head. Or, well, his alibi at least. Shirayuki cornered him in the commissary Friday morning, spinning him some yarn about that weird perfume they’d found a year or so back, and a friend who would be in trouble if they couldn’t concoct something more useful from it than a law suit waiting to happen. They’d spent the entire weekend locked away in the lab, subsisting off the food Obi would drop in front of them and sleeping on couches, only stumbled out of their stupor this morning. He’d spent five house face down on his bed before turning right back around to the lab.

What Yuzuri was up to, well-- he’s stumbled over her making eyes at too many scholars between the greenhouse beds to let his imagination run rampant. Speculating about what she might do on her own time is a one way ticket to ulcers.

Instead, he shuffles closer, squinting at the sign propped up by the street. “2000 dir for forty-five minutes?” He lets out a whistle. “Don’t see that every day.”

“Really?” She crowds him, hunkering down until his arm brushes something too soft to be her side, and-- and he just doesn’t think about it. For his own good. “High or low? I never know what’s a good price for these things.”

“It’s all overpriced,” he informs her, strained. “But this is usually what they charge for fifteen minutes at its peak hours.”

Now it’s Yuzuri who squints, focused honed to a point. Shirayuki calls herself a granddaughter of a bar when they balk at her for matching them drink-for-drink or remembering the filthiest verse of a drinking song, but whenever Yuzuri gets like this, snuffling out a deal the way pigs do truffles, she might as well be the daughter of a market stall.

“Do you think there’s something wrong with them?” she asks, only half paying attention. “Someone spilled something inside? A kid threw up? Caught a couple doing--”

“No.” Whatever euphemism she’s about to invent, he doesn’t need to live through it. “I think it’s timing. The lamp festival is where they make their most money, and solstice night too, but between them, well...not many people are going to stop for a quick sit-down when they’re worried about getting dinner on the table.”

“You know...” Yuzuri straightens, smoothing out the wool of her skirt. “I’ve never been in one.”

“Oh really?” He blinks, levering himself upright. He would never have guessed, considering what scholars liked to use them for. “Me either. At least, not since I was a little kid. Never thought it was worth it to sit on some pillows.”

She’s silent. Not in the shy way of someone who’s run out of things to say, but impatient, like someone who is saying quite a number of things very loudly, just not with her mouth. Unfortunately for the both of them, Suzu’s never quite perfected the art of listening with his gut rather than his ears.

Her eyebrows ratchet up an octave, intent as she informs him, “And we just had dinner...”

“Oh.” He glances back to where the tents are pitched, firelight limning their flaps. “Did you want to go in?”

All at once, her shoulders sway into his, eyelashes fluttering as she hums, “Oh well, I mean, if that’s what you’d like to do...?”

He shrugs, fleece itching at his neck. “Not really.”

This time, her silence in thunderous. Enough that even he can feel the vibration of her expectations.

“But if you’re interested, it’s a good price,” he offers, tucking his hands in his pockets so they don’t tremble. “You kept me company all evening, so you deserve a treat.”

“Well,” she hums, sweeping by toward the nicest one. “If you insist.”

“This is nice.” It’s a mistake to have come in here; something Suzu had known intellectually before she’d badgered him into it, but had forgotten until he sees her toe off her boots, stocking feet disappearing into the plush pile of the carpet. She sinks down onto her knees, so close her skirt flops over his knee, and he swallows hard enough to crack walnuts. “Really comfy.”

The air’s suffused with incense and spice, and it makes the air thick, heavy like a favorite blanket. It makes the space smaller, more intimate, and they’re not on a date, they’re not, but--

It’s hard to hear that rational part of his brain when she curls up close, arm burning a stripe along his shoulder where they both rest against the cushion.

“Y-yeah.” It would be a tactical mistake to grab a pillow; a nice girl, one like Shirayuki, might assume he was getting comfortable, but Yuzuri-- she knows too much. He’d have to suffer a sly smile at best, and at worst-- well, one of them is going to be sitting through these forty-five minutes, so he’d have plenty of time to contemplate just why he deserves to be doing it alone. “Even nicer than I remember.”

“Did you come here often? As a kid, I mean.” Her knees tilt, no longer squeezed against her chest but sprawling into his lap. “These always seemed a little touristy to me. I would have thought people from here would pass them right by.”

“Well, now I do, yeah. But when we were younger, my parents always took us to the tents. It was part of the Light Festival!” His mother has sworn there were a good two years where he refuse to nap unless she brought him, piling pillows on top of him until his snores were loud enough to hear through the down. “My sister’s a little older than me, so once she got big enough to keep an eye on me, they’d pay for all of us to go in on our own.”

“Ah, I see.” Laughter fizzes beneath her words, threatening to bubble out. “You three were a handful.”

“How could you say that?” Suzu presses a hand to his chest, eyes painfully wide as he insists, “I was an absolute angel.”

Yuzuri tosses her head back, giggles spilling out from her like water from a bath, overfull and decadent. If he thinks about putting his mouth right there, where her pulse thrums beneath her winter pale skin, well-- that’s no one’s business by his own. Not like he’s hurting anyone else letting himself get stung like this.

“We really thought we were getting away with something too,” he admits, watching her from the corner of his eyes. It’s so rare to see her unguarded, each glance feels like it’s stolen, a part of her he was never supposed to see. “No parental supervision! We could make as much ruckus as we wanted! And in the end we mostly ate candy.”

“And your parents got fifteen minutes to themselves.” Her laughter’s barely contained, leaking out in drips and drabs every time she looks at him. It’s worth it for the way she smiles though, as if he’s telling the joke rather than being one. “That’s one to keep in mind.”

His heart makes a desperate bid to end his misery, lodging itself somewhere in the vicinity of his throat and holding position in hopes of a good choke.

“It stops working at a certain point,” he blurts out; it’s a miracle his voice doesn’t crack from the strain. “I mean, when kids get older. Once we were all able to walk around on our own, it lost it’s shine.”

She hums, and oh, he can feel that right in his bones, rattling both his teeth and his thoughts. “Makes sense. If you’re already allowed to run wild, these things probably feel more like a time out than a privilege.”

If Suzu had been gifted with the self-preservation the Powers That Be-- whoever they were; not his business-- chose to gave small rodents, that’s where this particular topic would meet its end. Or even if he possessed the sort of conversational skills that had Shirayuki shipped hither and yon for king and country-- perhaps more literally than anyone could be comfortable with-- it might fade into something else. An observation about work, a comment on the pillows, a question of how long she thought they had left-- anything, so long as it wasn’t--

“People would go when we got older though. Much older. For dates. Pay for fifteen minutes and then see how far you could get. Not that I--” there’s no way to complete this sentence that doesn’t lead to shame and mortification and possibly a brand new way to get slapped, but he can’t stop talking, not now that he’s unplugged this particular drain-- “I didn’t do it. I mean, I would have, if it’d been an option, but I wasn’t really--”

Yuzuri sighs, loud enough it should rattle the tent. “This is ridiculous.”

“What do you--?”

The silence between his heartbeats stretches for hours when she rises to her knees, swinging a long, bestockinged leg around his hips. She looms over him, utterly implacable, as a goddess beholding their most underwhelming devotee. He must try to stammer through a question-- his mouth moves, even if the ringing in his ears drowns out the sound-- but she merely grips his coat in one slender hand, and stoppers up his mistakes with her lips.

It’d be paradise, if he didn’t jolt back like an idiot. “W-what?”

Her clutch on him squeezes tighter, Yuzuri’s brows knitting with the kind of consternation that usually results in plots getting reassigned. “What?”

“You--” it’s hard to think when every molecule of sense is trying to abandon ship-- “you kissed me!”

Suzu’s never been the sort of person who can convey thoughts with his eyes alone, but when Yuzuri glares down at him now, it’s a whole seminar on his stupidity. “Yes?”

Maybe he’s earned it, when his only question that elbows its way out of his mouth is, “W-why would you do that?”

She recoils, all that divine confidence expelled from her like life from a corpse. “Did you not want me to?”

He may not have a finger on her, but he can feel her slip from them. Her weight retreats toward the boundary of his knees, like she might leave, and he-- he can’t let that happen. His hands fly up, hooking around the convenient curve of her hips, and hold her steady despite their tremble.

“Of course I do,” he blurts out, heat licking at the tips of his ears. It’s mortifying to be known like this, but he can’t care, not when the phantom pressure of her lips still lingers on his. “I just don’t know why you would want to!”

She blinks, those pale eyes of hers so wide he could fall in. “It just seemed like the thing to do! We’re on a date, aren’t we? So I thought--”

“We’re on a what?” He has to be hallucinating. Maybe Yuzuri’s right, maybe the dumpling lady hates him, and she’s laced the paper with--

“A date,” Yuzuri repeats, incredulity building with every letter. “We’re on a date.”

His grip must tighten; he hears her squeak as he splutters, “Wha--? S-since when?”

The stare she fixes him with could level the whole quarter, let alone a man’s pride. Good thing Suzu’s never had any to begin with. “Since you asked me!”

It’s his turn to blink, confused. “Since I what?”

“Since you asked me.” She huffs, folding her arms just under her chest in a way that is utterly distracting. Or at least it would be, if she wasn’t already in his lap, lips flushed from kissing him. “You came up to me at my desk just after lunch and said, Shirayuki’s showing off our work and Ryuu’s at the outpost for inventory, want get dinner, just the two of us?”

“Oh.” His thumbs make nervous circles over the ridge of her hip bone, soothing him even as she squirms beneath his grip. “I thought you’d take that in a friendly way.”

There’s a noise she makes, a dull buzz that reminds him of how cicadas are described in books, their drone warning of heat to come. Only this sound isn’t about the weather, it’s about mortal peril, and oh, it looks like he’s about to meet it head on.

“Why would I think that?” she snaps, balancing her weight between his knees. “Just the two of us is clear date talk! If you wanted to make it friendly, then you should have said, as friends.”

“Because you have every other time I’ve asked!” Sweat and fleece combine to make an untenable state of affairs under his collar, but he can’t spare the hands to even tug at it, not unless he wants to risk her escaping. Which he can’t, not when they’re so close to-- to something. Hell if he knows what it is, but its different, at least. “We’ve been out to dinner, just us, maybe...a hundred times! The as friends seemed very heavily implied.”

“Well--” it should bother him that she’s bothered, that her confidence is flagging, but her shoulders hike up, and all he can focus on is how kissable she looks like this, vulnerable and incensed both-- “it seemed more like a date this time! You must have done something different!”

“I didn’t do anything!” he insists, not knowing why he’s doing this, just tripping his once chance to kiss Yuzuri right at the starting line. He was half asleep when he spoke to her, it would have been simple to say that maybe a little of his hopes slipped through but-- but it would be a lie, and for some reason, it feels important not to make this easy, to make her have to work for this already enthusiastic yes. “I said the same thing I always do!”

“Well, then maybe--” Her words sheer off, all the fight gone out of her as a faintest, most delicate pink blooms over the apples of her cheeks. With a voice so soft he nearly misses it, she mumbles, “M-maybe I’m the one that’s different.”

He stares, eyes so wide he can feel their whites drying in the air. “W-why? Did you drink something in the lab? Huff something? We were working with that perfume only last night, you know. If a bottle doesn’t have a label, you really should do more than waft--”

“I’m not drugged, Suzu,” she snaps, pink blazing to crimson. “I just like you, that’s all!”

“O-oh...” He turns that over in his mind, once, twice. “I don’t understand. Are you sure you didn’t--?”

“Shut up!” Pain blooms right between his eyes, but it’s not until her hand falls back that he realizes-- she flicked him. “It’s not new! I’ve...I’ve felt this way for a while.”

“W-what?” It’s times like this where he’d pinch himself-- not to wake himself up, but so that he can enjoy the dream-- but he doesn’t dare move his hands, not when she feels like she could turn to smoke and sleep at any moment. “But-- when? No, why?”

She sighs, nothing short of aggrieved. “Sometimes I wonder that myself.”

“I don’t...” He licks his lips, mouth far too dry for even this muttering. “I don’t get it.”

“You don’t have to.” There’s something steely in her when she meets his eyes, braced. “Are you trying to say you’re not interested?”

Her hips move, but not in the direction he wants them to. No, they’re moving back, like she means to slip off his lap entirely, and--

And he can’t let that happen. “No!” he yelps, grip tight enough to force a groan from her. He’ll apologize later. “I’m-- I’m super interested. I’m just...confused. Really, really confused.”

Her head tilts, considering. “Whatever,” she decides with a heavy sigh. “I can work with that.”

Suzu means to ask with what, but he only has enough time to take a breath before her lips brush over his, no longer demanding an answer but teasing it out. When he leans in, it’s...tentative, not quite trusting the floor to hold him, or this dream to let him stay. But she’s real beneath his fingers, her gasp echoing against his chest when he pulls her hips closer. A dangerous fact, considering how close she is to-- to stuff. And things. Dick things.

But he can nearly forget about that when her own hands thread through the thick morass of of his hair, palms molding to his scalp as she pulls him into meet her, all those shy flutterings suddenly finding purpose. It’s no longer a question but an answer, one he groans out when her tongue flicks out over his bottom lip, coaxing him to open for her, to let her past, and oh-- he does not need to be asked twice.

It’s getting unruly beneath the belt, but he can’t find the will to care, not when her hips cant into his, grinding down when she finds the hardness he’s been hoping she’d miss. He bucks up into her, cock pressing at the seam of her cunt, and he-- he can’t remember why he’d ever want to hide this, something that could make her jaw go so slack, that could make her moan as he licked into her mouth--

“Wait!” He’s already screeched to a stop, like wheels on and iron track, but she shoves him for good measure, arms trembling as she holds him at their full length. “Wait.”

Even that hint of a plea has him twitching under his trousers, but it’s easy to put that aside. “Did I do something wrong?”

He hopes not; this is part he’s familiar with. The stuff past here...it’s a mixed bag.

“No, no. Definitely not...that. It’s just...” She narrows her eyes, suspicious. “You’re good at this?”

“I mean, I’ve kissed before.” And more, but that seems good-time limiting to mention it. At least right now.

“Well, okay, sure,” she huffs, flushed. It’s a good look on her, better than any time he’d seen her like it in the stockroom. “But you’re supposed to suck, Suzu! It’s supposed to be a sign of my love and devotion that I’m even putting up with your tongue in my mouth! Not-- not...”

He should be insulted, but instead he’s only intrigued. “Not...?”

She grumbles, tugging him against her mouth for a kiss that goes from playful to purposeful in a breath. One he must have stolen from her, since she’s left panting against his lips, “Not wondering just what I’d let you get away with in this tent.”

“Ohh.” He moans into her neck, practically whimpering as she grinds down into him, the pleasure so intense his whole spine tingles with it. “That does sound good.”

She tugs on his coat; this time, it frees the top two buttons. “I didn’t tell you to stop.”

The last two pop open before he can gather himself enough to manage, “Good point.”

The fire may be cracking merrily in its pit, but it’s a chill that racks through him when Yuzuri wrangles his coat off him, his skin pimpling beneath the thin linen of his shirt. It’s hard to mind it though, when all it takes is a flex of his arm to pull her against him, her warmth seeping through even the thick wool of her dress. She giggles against his lips, and that helps raise the heat even more, each gasp and sigh she makes as he kisses up her neck raising the temperature of tent a whole degree.

"How is this?” he asks against her skin, nipping just beneath her ear. “Does this strain your love and devotion? Or--?”

“You’re impossible,” she huffs, hands skimming his shirt up and over his shoulders. That’s colder still, but oh, he’s too hot to care, crushing her against him as he nibbles down her jaw. “It’s a-- ah, don’t stop-- turn of phrase.”

“Is it? Because it sure sound like you-- haah!”

He’d had a whole plan to sound smug, to really enjoy this power he held over her, not matter how small, but well-- it’s nothing to the thrall she has him in the second she draws her dress-- chemises and all-- up and over her head.

“Problem?” she asks, so innocent, as if her breasts aren’t right there in all their glory, their tips dusky brown against the cream of her skin. His mouth waters, desperate to wrap around one of those stiff little peaks, but she pushes back off his lap, dragging him with her as she lays flat on the carpet. “Anything I can help you with?”

She highlights her eagerness with a hand to his cock, pressing against his full length, the sensation only survivable due to the thick fabric of his trousers. A thing he’s coming to resent with every lazy stroke of her palm.

“Fuck,” he pants. “How long do-- ahh-- you think we-- oh, shit-- have--?”

“I don’t know.” It’s terrible how much her coyness is doing it for him, making his cock’s confinement almost unbearable. “Enough time to have a little fun, as long as you can keep it down.”

“Great,” he manages, and then does his level best to swallow a tit whole. 

“Suzu!” Her finger scrabble at his back, at his belt, but he doesn’t have time for that, not when the soft flesh of her breast is plush against his mouth, nipple hardening beneath the pressure his tongue. “Suzu, I-- ohh-- that’s-- please--”

He’s not strong the way the guardsmen are, their muscles bulging in the yard with every swing of their sword or flex of their wrist. But he has weight on his side, plus the wiry strength it takes to haul soil from one end of the campus to the other, and with those things combined, he’s got momentum going for him too. In a motion smoother than he deserves, he tucks himself underneath Yuzuri just as she pulls up above him.

It’s not what she wants-- or maybe, not what she’s used to. She grunts, wriggling on top of him, trying to roll them back the other way--

“Trust me,” he murmurs, letting go of her breast with a pop. “I can do more for you down here than I can up there.”

Her brows furrow, skeptical. “What do you--”

“Here.” He hands her a pillow, guiding her hips further up his chest. Her stockings are woolen, itching as she inches up, but the underthings they’ve clipped to are silky, making the whole movement a seduction in itself. “You’re probably going to need this.”

She frowns at it, then frowns at him. “What for?”

“Well...” He shrugs as he hooks her knees above his shoulder, guiding her cunt so close to his face he can smell her even through her drawers, musky and sweet even still. “You’re the one that said we’d need to keep it down.”

“But what--? OH!”

Suzu doesn’t so much see the pillow raise as hear it, her moan muffled as he traces his tongue through the slit cut in the silk, her taste already thick in his mouth. He wants more though, needs more, raising his thumbs to bare the little bud at the tip of it. There’s few bedroom activities Suzu could call himself confident in-- he’d only had the one girlfriend, after all, and not for long enough to do more than check a few boxes-- but this one--

Well, there was a reason he’d had that girlfriend for months instead of weeks. He fits his mouth around that small nub, gentle at first, barely touching at all, but with every gasp-- Suzu, please. Suzu, yes-- he tugs a little stronger. Her thighs quiver beneath his grip, and with a gasp that goes straight to his cock, she pitches to all fours, face buried in the cushion.

He grins against her, testing his teeth-- oh! oh please-- before nosing lower, nuzzling aside the soft folds of her cunt to lap at the wetness dewing there. Or at least, that should be-- he’s used to going slow, to using lips until fingers are needed to help over the finish line, but Yuzuri is soaked when he licks at her, twitching and sensitive and so near the edge he twitches in sympathy.

“Do you need more?” he hums, fingers skimming over the crease of her legs, catching in the silk of her drawers. It’s a pity he can’t see her cunt tremble, but he feels it just fine against his lips. “Do you need me to help you?”

“Please,” she gasps, only half muted by the pillow. “I’m so close, Suzu, please--”

He presses a kiss to her stomach-- she groans, frustrated, but she’ll have to forgive him for being a little proud of himself. He’s got her right up to the edge without even using his fingers, a personal best.

“Suzu,” she says, more firm this time, almost lucid, and well, he can’t have that.

Her slit is dripping when he licks a stripe up it, his fingers sliding into the last knuckle with no more effort than slipping into a bath, and-- “Oh,” he breathes, dick twitching uselessly. “You weren’t kidding about being close.”

She’s tight, her muscles hugging each stroke of his fingers as if they were a scalpel and her the sheath made for them. It’s impossible not to think about what this would feel like against his cock, grasping him so tight with every thrust, and-- and it’s him who can’t wait this time, putting his mouth right over her mound and sucking until she gasps, hiccuping right into a moan the pillow barely catches.

Intellectually, Suzu’s always been aware that his skill with his mouth is above average-- again, enough to make weeks into months-- but it’s not until he watcher her now, squirming and sobbing through her orgasm that he understands. This is hardly her first time tipping over this particular precipice-- his whole first year here was stumbling into her trysts at, er, crucial junctures-- but when she sits back, hair askew and eyes dark, he’s pretty sure this may have been her best.

“All right,” she pants, tugging at his belt. “Now you.”

He might come from that right there, but in the next breath, a voice calls through the flap. “That’s time, ma’am! Please come out and--”

The flap opens, and, well, Suzu’s sure he’ll never forget that face.

“We definitely are not the only people to use those things for sex,” Yuzuri mutters darkly, adjusting her cloak. It’s still askew, and so is her dress, but it’s passable at serving its function now. “That carpet is made to be laid on.”

“He’s probably peeved he didn’t get to charge us a premium for it.” Suzu sighs, slipping his hand into hers. “Oh well. It was fun while it lasted, wasn’t it?”

“You’re the one who didn’t--” Yuzuri blinks down, watching his fingers weave between hers. “Oh, is this what we do now?”

It’s strangely confrontational, the way she asks, but Suzu just shrugs, squeezing tighter. “Isn’t this what couples do?”

“Couples?” she murmurs, confused.

His elbow knocks into hers. “You’re my girlfriend now, right?”

It’s like he’s knocked the winds straight out of her. “Oh. Oh.” She swallows, loud enough that even he can hear. “Yeah. I guess so.”

“Then yeah.” He smiles down, enjoy the way she pinks, gaze skittering away. “This is what we do. As long as it’s good for you.”

“It...it is.” She clears her throat, picking up a quick pace. “You could have found a more romantic way to ask, though.”

“Huh?”

Yuzuri rolls her eyes. “Ugh, never mind.”

[audliminal]

It's Just a Game, Right? Pt 3

Masterpost

"You still good?" Sam's voice crackles through the walkie talkie, as Danny flies erratically through and rooms. Danny ignores it for the moment, focusing on his current task. Their distraction plan had certainly worked, but now Danny has to maintain his balancing act, keeping the giw agents engaged without actually getting himself hurt. "Danny?" Sam asks again.

"Real great timing, Sam." Danny mutters, changing his tragectory to straight up. He's on the roof in moments, and allows his body to slip back into tangibility without dropping his invisibility.

"I'm getting a workout for sure, but they haven't hit me yet." Danny says, the moment he has the walkie talkie in hand.

"Good." Sam's relief is clear. Sam was the least enthusiastic about this arg idea from the start, but this current plan, with Danny acting as a distraction had driven her almost frantic with frustration. "We're almost done filming, so you can probably start trying to lose them. And let us know if you need help."

"Yeah? What, are you gonna go ghost and come distract them too?" The joke comes out a bit harsher than intended and Danny immediately winces. "Sorry. Sorry that was supposed to be a joke."

Sam doesn't immediately respond and Danny hears footsteps on the stairs, so he jams the walkie talkie back in its holder and takes off, making sure to fly away from where his classmates are working.

Moments after he drops back into intangibility, the door to the roof slams open and three giw agents rush out, already taking shots in his direction. By now their strategies are familiar though, and Danny is already making evasive moves as he flies off.

"Straight lines are boring anyways," he snickers, dipping down, so he can fly directly through the floor of another building, and then shooting straight up for a moment before continuing on. "Though it would be nice if their damn sensors could stop improving..."

On the other side of town, Danny's class has just finished recording footage of their school with untreated tech. Tonight, Wes and Tucker will start adding the dozens of layers of encryptions and hidden messages that they've been layering their project with.

A surprising number of people have already followed their channel, but so far they've only broken through around two layers of the content they've posted, and certainly haven't even come close to finding the encoded file drops, where they've actually hidden the bulk of the information.

That's the reasoning for this latest idea. As far as the plot of their series so far, the green-tinted, garbled footage won't make any sense. So, if they can get this out there without getting caught, it might help queue the people investigating their videos to dig a little more in search of an explanation.

"Halt, ghost scum!" The booming voice below Danny is immediately recognizable as his dad, and he just rolls his eyes and groans, without slowing. The good news about his parents joining the hunt is that they'll likely distract the giw's own efforts. But it also means they're gonna be extra annoying when he gets home tonight. It's the kind of trade-off that Danny will take every time, but he reserves the right to be annoyed by it.

Danny's parents, like everyone else, are far from happy with the giw's occupation and quarantine of Amity Park. Jazz should be heading off to college in a matter of months, but instead she's going to be stuck here. Jazz hadn't even bothered sending off applications this year - a matter than had been the target of much distress by their parents, and the first thing that got them to really stop and think about what the giw were doing.

Recently, they'd even considered shutting down their portal, but unfortunately that had proved more complicated than would be reasonable. So ghosts continued to drift through, and Danny continued to swiftly catch them before the giw or his blundering parents could show up to cause problems. Most days he managed to get the ghosts captured and himself out without serious injury but, well, even if his parents had stopped developing new weapons, lately, the giw had only ramped up their efforts.

And Danny was stuck in the middle of it all.

"We're done and out, Danny. Please tell me you haven't gotten yourself hurt." Sam's voice comes through again, startling Danny away from his thoughts. He glances back behind him, and is relieved to see no signs of chase behind him.

"Yeah, we're good. My parents showed up with some real clutch timing. Maybe if we're lucky, they crashed into each other and they're out a vehicle or two."

"Yeah, if we're lucky." Sma laughs. "Meet up at the arcade?"

"Sure thing." Danny says, ducking into a nearby store and dropping his ghost form safely in the bathroom.

[thebroccolination]

But that is the magical joy of Be My Favorite, isn’t it?! That Kawi learns how to choose himself and joy instead of what Kawi thinks will make him happy because it’s what the world values. And then he’s told Pisaeng about the time travel but Pisaeng doesn’t quite believe him until Kawi is sick and maybe dying and tries using it. And Pisaeng wonders if Kawi is compromising his dreams for Pisaeng’s happiness, but they’re just choosing their own happiness. And I want to cry just thinking about it.

This is from a Be My Favorite post I made last month that still makes me emotional.

Like!!! One of my favorite parts of the series in terms of the writing choices Waa made is that Kawi doesn't actually see dozens and dozens of potential futures. As a writer, I think that would be tempting to play with. But instead, the story is framed so that Kawi doesn't know how many times he can use the crystal ball, so he has to be extremely cautious. Structure-wise that heightens the stakes, but that also means that Kawi as a character has to think very deeply and thoroughly about everything he does that might have repercussions.

Which, as we see in the series, drives him into Panic Mode about possibly fucking up everyone's lives around episode 10 after seeing The Worst Timeline in episode 7.

I love love love that he and Pisaeng don't actually talk that much about Kawi's whole time-travel experience because 1) once Kawi has what he needs (a loving relationship and found family), he doesn't want to look back, and 2) it leaves Pisaeng to grapple with his own insecurities about their relationship.

Like, the Pisaeng we see in episode 12 who offers to be a Dirty Little Secret if Kawi wants to pursue a publicly famous life is not the same Pisaeng from any of the Terrible Futures that Kawi saw. He's the fortunate one, the one who crushed on Kawi for a few months in their first year of university, confessed to him, got an initial rejection followed by a reciprocation a few days later, and then dated Kawi consistently for the next twelve years.

What I love about that is that the Pisaeng in episode twelve, the one who won by all possible metrics, still has the seeds of self-destruction in him. He would closet himself and their relationship for Kawi, and Kawi knows from experience that 1) he really doesn't want the fame, but also 2) he's seen Pisaeng destroy himself for his sake before, and he promised never to let that happen again.

And he doesn't tell Pisaeng that either!!! Adult Kawi who has Learned Things from time travel doesn't want or need credit for the person he's become. He doesn't tell Pisaeng how horrible fame was on both of them, how selfish it made him. He doesn't want to relive it for himself for sure, but I also think he wants to spare his Pisaeng any sliver of the pain he put another version of him through in another life.

So what we get is that Pisaeng sees Kawi put aside singing professionally, which he seemed to love, and become a lyricist instead. He thinks Kawi could have a better life and he's denying himself for Pisaeng's sake. …WHICH IS WHAT PISAENG DID FOR KAWI IN THE WORST TIMELINE.

And when Pisaeng goes back in time and limits changing the past to just correcting their terrible amusement park date and nothing else, he does so without all the information Kawi could have given him. He only has Kawi's word that he's happy with the life they have, and he doesn't want any more than that. And he trusts in Kawi, because they've been together for twelve very happy years. :')

I'm never gonna get over this show.

~The End~

[sanctus-ingenium]

I'd looove to hear a little about your worldbuilding process if you don't mind sharing. How do you go about it? I know you have shared in a few posts already but just wanna know moree. Also where did it all begin? What inspired you? (eating it all uppp!!!)

hi!! I know I wrote a big long thing like last year or the year before about the process to making a setting but I cannot be arsed to find it rn so here's some disconnected thoughts

Overall I don't really make Headworlds or Worldbuilding Projects the way a lot of people do (which is why u keep hearing me say 'setting' over and over) because mainly what I make are stories in the order of characters -> plot -> world. those three things have to serve one another in that order of importance, so the world itself bends to serve the narrative. for example, ultimately idgaf where the holy beasts' skeletons come from, that is not important because the beasts are basically just a big plot device to serve the story. i can make some post-hoc justifications for their existence (and i did) but at the end of the day it will not and does not matter how they work or where they come from. the world is full of mysteries that will never be solved because the characters are not in a position to solve them. aside from a single border conflict, the world outside the mezian empire is nebulous and unimportant.

I don't enjoy working in a world -> narrative order because what I want to produce isn't just a series of info posts or artpieces about a setting, but a closed and self-contained story which is the justification for the entire world's existence. Headworlds that are all world and no character don't interest me.

So basically in the process of worldbuilding, I have to serve the story. A while back I made a post about continental history around Inver, all these wars and occupations and schisms and so on. All of those exist solely to provide a particular political climate, justification for Aquitan's theocratic structure, and the spread of the southern church north into Inver. I already had the idea of this church, that it would be integral to the country as a main political faction, so now I have to figure out how it got there and the political ramifications of that. It's all worldbuilding for sure, but it's a support structure underneath the story about how that church eventually changes world history, because i wanted to write a story about a church lol.

I guess if I wanted to explain The Process for a world -> characters setting i'd just be giving you How To Write A Story 101 lol. But basically: I think of a concept which interests me (big mechs yay). Then I think of a conflict that might arise (where does the fuel come from? who controls that supply? what might that do to the concentration of power in this area?). Then I put a character in what I consider to be the most interesting position to observe the effects of this conflict (a knight, an enginesmith, an exile), and honestly the main plot generally writes itself after that. I extrapolate the hook from that.

In terms of characters, I try to avoid calling them 'ocs' because in my mind 'oc' tends to be a very static stand-alone thing. Like I couldn't make a useful ref sheet of my characters because they are all changed by the story. I couldn't say 'he has a carefree personality' because in a few chapters no he fucking won't. in the same way i struggle a LOT to talk about my Siren setting which as close to a specbio 'headworld' as i'm ever gonna get, because I am worldbuilding in vastly different time periods at once in a world which is always changing, i can't make a post about for example a map of Siren because that's just a map from one era, I'd need to make a dozen maps to show how things change, how time affects it all, etc.

Because nothing is ever static and everything is in flux, pretty much the only way I can handle a setting like this is, again, just to focus on a few small stories centered around a cast of characters separated by time (i have... 4 distinct stories in Siren. maybe more). this is actually a frustrating barrier to me sharing any information at all about this place lol i'm the struggler

Where did it all begin? When I was 11 I used to write stories in my copybooks in class. There has never been a time where I was not making stories and where my stories were not the only important thing at all to me, superseding literally everything else. I learned how to draw digitally in 2011 because I wanted to draw my characters.

What inspires me? Everything lol. I actually don't have time to Consume Media much, I struggle watching movies or tv and I mostly hate video games because I would much rather be productive and sitting and watching a screen feels like a waste of my time. but I like reading books because I can take them with me on my phone. I get ideas from all sources but mostly non-media sources, like obviously mythology but also my history with the church and my scientific education. Usually nonfictional sources interest me the most (i was going to write a whole story that was a post-apocalyptic plague plot based on canine transmissible venereal cancer haha and even to this day that's where "the Immortal Hound" title comes from, little easter egg in inver)

[hollowed-theory-hall]

The Riddle of Tom Riddle: Part 2/?

(Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7)

Voldemort Isn't Insane, At Least, Not in the Way You Think

Horcruxes and Dark Magic don't cause insanity and physical deformity the way Dumbledore implies, and I can prove it.

So, first Dark Magic doesn't make you go mad

So, first off, let's just set the record about Dark Magic not causing the changes in appearance we see in Voldemort and neither does it cause insanity. (I'm talking of run-of-the-mill Unforgivables here, I talk about Horcruxes more in-depth later in this post)

Now, what other character we can be sure practiced Dark Magic... Bellatrix, of course.

And, as a matter of fact, we do get a look at her before she goes to Azkaban:

The dementors placed each of the four people in the four chairs with chained arms that now stood on the dungeon floor. There was a thickset man who stared blankly up at Crouch; a thinner and more nervous-looking man, whose eyes were darting around the crowd; a woman with thick, shining dark hair and heavily hooded eyes, who was sitting in the chained chair as though it were a throne; and a boy in his late teens, who looked nothing short of petrified. He was shivering, his straw-colored hair all over his face, his freckled skin milk-white.

(Goblet of Fire, page 594)

She is clearly not deformed. None of the Death Eaters show any sign of physical changes to their appearance or behaviour due to Dark Magic in general.

the woman with the heavy-lidded eyes looked up at Crouch and called, “The Dark Lord will rise again, Crouch! Throw us into Azkaban; we will wait! He will rise again and will come for us, he will reward us beyond any of his other supporters! We alone were faithful! We alone tried to find him!”

(Goblet of Fire, page 595)

Bellatrix is sane and coherent before Azkaban. I believe most of her baby talk and more manic behavior we see in the series is caused by her time in Azkaban. While she was definitely loyal to Voldemort to a fault — she wasn't laughing maniacly in a baby voice like in Order of the Phoenix...

So, it isn't Dark Magic that made Voldemort snake-faced, so, maybe it's Horcruxes...

Second, Horcruxes don't make you go mad either

So, I talked about Horcruxes a bit here. But not about their effects on the person casting them.

So, let's try and trace the moments in time we meet Tom and count his Horcruxes. If his Horcruxes were indeed the cause for the change in his appearance, we'd expect to see a gradual change after each one in his appearance and behavior, if they indeed caused his insanity.

So, the first account we have of Voldemort is from Slughorn'smemory in 1943:

Half a dozen boys were sitting around Slughorn, all on harder or lower seats than his, and all in their mid-teens. Harry recognized Voldemort at once. His was the most handsome face and he looked the most relaxed of all the boys. His right hand lay negligently upon the arm of his chair; with a jolt, Harry saw that he was wearing Marvolo’s goldand-black ring; he had already killed his father.

(Half-Blood Prince, page 494)

As Tom is mentioned wearing the Gaunt Ring, we know this memory takes place during his sixth year, after he made the Diary and the Ring into Horcruxes already. (Why ask Slughorn about them if he already made two? Well, I'm gonna write a whole post about that don't worry)

But the point is, 2 Horcruxes in and there are no discernable changes in behavior or appearance. Harry actually describes him as very handsome, so clearly, he isn't snake-like yet.

The next time we see Tom is with Hepzibah Smith in 1956, the thing is, this memory doesn't give us much since it's before he killed her to make his third Horcrux, so we should expect nothing to change.

That then leads us to jump straight to 1967 and his job interview with Dumbledore. Between the talk with Slughonr about Horcruxes and this memory, Tom added 3 more Horcruxes to his collection (the cup, the locket, and the diadem).

So, we should expect to see a drastic change in behavior and appearance, and, well:

Voldemort had entered the room. His features were not those Harry had seen emerge from the great stone cauldron almost two years ago: They were not as snakelike, the eyes were not yet scarlet, the face not yet masklike, and yet he was no longer handsome Tom Riddle. It was as though his features had been burned and blurred; they were waxy and oddly distorted, and the whites of the eyes now had a permanently bloody look, though the pupils were not yet the slits that Harry knew they would become. He was wearing a long black cloak, and his face was as pale as the snow glistening on his shoulders. The Dumbledore behind the desk showed no sign of surprise. Evidently this visit had been made by appointment.

(Half-Blood Prince, page 441)

Tom's behavior throughout this interview isn't any different from what we've seen in his interactions with Dumbledore up to this point. So, I'll take that as a no, for Horcruxes causing insanity as he showed no sign of gradually deteriorating with each one.

And as for his appearence, yes, we see a change. But something about the wording bothered me. Harry referred to his face as looking: "burned and blurred; they were waxy and oddly distorted". This is a really off way to describe a face.

And it actually reminded me of a different description from Harry for a different memory:

And it happened all over again: The dense fog filled the room so that Harry could not see Slughorn or Voldemort at all; only Dumbledore, smiling serenely beside him. Then Slughorn’s voice boomed out again, just as it had done before. “I don’t know anything about Horcruxes and I wouldn’t tell you if I did! Now get out of here at once and don’t let me catch you mentioning them again!” “Well, that’s that,” said Dumbledore placidly beside Harry. “Time to go.” And Harry’s feet left the floor to fall, seconds later, back onto the rug in front of Dumbledore’s desk. “That’s all there is?” said Harry blankly. Dumbledore had said that this was the most important memory of all, but he could not see what was so significant about it. Admittedly the fog, and the fact that nobody seemed to have noticed it, was odd, but other than that nothing seemed to have happened except that Voldemort had asked a question and failed to get an answer. “As you might have noticed,” said Dumbledore, reseating himself behind his desk, “that memory has been tampered with.” “Tampered with?” repeated Harry, sitting back down too. “Certainly,” said Dumbledore. “Professor Slughorn has meddled with his own recollections.”

(Half-Blood Prince, page 371)

Memories can be edited and when they are, they become fogged and blurry. Slughorn's memory is clearly very crudely edited, but a master Legilemence like Dumbledore could surely do a better job of it.

Because Dumbledore has an agenda with all these memories, he needs to convince Harry to be ready to die to kill Voldemort — that's his end goal. And as such, yeah, he could reasonably edit Tom's appearance. As he seemed to have.

So, do we have a different source about Tom's appearance during the First War, because the next Horcrux after the diadem is Harry?

We do, Voldemort himself:

“Nice costume, mister!” He saw the small boy’s smile falter as he ran near enough to see beneath the hood of the cloak, saw the fear cloud his painted face. Then the child turned and ran away. . .

(Deathly Hollows, pages 295)

In this memory Voldemort shows mercy to a muggle child, not killing someone whose death isn't necessary — another point to him not being insane.

As for appearance, well, his face scared the child, but, it's hard to tell why. I'm sure JKR intended us to assume it's because he looked snake-like, but, again, no Horcruxes were made between the interview in Dumbledore's office and this scene, so he shouldn't be any more distorted. And while Harry's description in the interview memory isn't flattering, it isn't horrifying either.

Therefore, my assumption is that Voldemort is staring at this little child dressed like a pumpkin with the most impressive death glare the child has ever seen and this kid actually thinks, Tom is going to kill him. Which, well, it's a fair reason to be scared, I'll give him that.

His white hand pulled out the wand beneath his cloak and pointed it at the door, which burst open.

(Deathly Hollows, pages 296)

"White hand" doesn't say much. Tom was always described as pale and nothing odd about the skin texture is mentioned.

I'll add, that magically speaking, at least, according to the way I believe Horcruxes are made, it makes no sense for them to effect one's appearance and sanity negatively. Well, making them isn't pleasant, but they won't make you lose your intelligence and coherence.

So, what's up with Voldemort?

Well, I'm getting there.

For his appearence, my assumption was always that Pettigrew butchered the resurrection potion (when making a potion or alchemical concoction the mindset of the brewer matters. If Pettigrew was adding Nagini's venom without thinking of it as a soul component but as a body component, it can cause the changes in appearences we see). It can also be affected by the unicorn blood, which we don't really know the negetive effects of.

As for the insanity... When talking about insanity in fiction the conversation is sometimes very shallow. the word "insane" is just used to describe any character people don't understand, or that acts somewhat unpredictably. But if we look at insanity as a concept, as in a mental illness or delusions of some kind, they always have consistency. Both in fiction and reality.

Say, if a person believes they are a butterfly, they would always believe they are a butterfly. All their actions and behavior would stem from that delusion. We would expect them to try and drink from flowers, or try to fly — because that's what butterflies do.

Voldemort doesn't have that.

He doesn't have a consistent behavior pattern I could chuck to insanity and call it a day. No, Tom Riddle is a more complex character than that and I feel calling him "insane" is a cop-out from analyzing his character properly.

I'm gonna make a full post about it and what exactly is going through his mind, but I wanted to cover the insanity claims first.

[st-asya]

The stabbing scene, my beloved. I feel like I'll never run out of something to say, gonna be a habit of mine to never stop talking about it. My first post about it was the first thing that came to my mind, then I read the posts in the reblogs (and discovered a whole new world of the fascinating details I didn't even think of before), and they made me think of taking a closer look at this scene, but from a different angle.

Originally the post was supposed to contain nothing but the third paragraph, but I got a little carried away, so... (I swear to God, someday I'll write a book about this scene). This is gonna be endless cause making several posts doesn't feel right for some reason. I've never used so many parentheses in one post till now.

Ed somehow managed to make 'stab me' sound more sexually charged than 'fuck me', talk about having a way with words. I mean I know the whole scene imitates life (hence this scene is art), well, a certain intimate part of life, obviously, but still...

He is not even trying to make it sound at least a little less intense. He sounds almost demanding, but it's with a pretty soft touch to it still (dare I say seductive?) ('stab me') and very calm, collected, encouraging ('run me through') as if not to scare Stede off cause this whole training session is taxing enough as it is already, Ed's hesitation or uncertainty wouldn't make things better for sure, so he needs to maintain an aura of a confident leader. He calls the shots, after all (and he just wants to be yours, Stede).

The way Ed carries himself in this scene is beautiful, charming even, to the point it's a tad sad, to the point you might wanna find a way to protect him for his own good, so there's this bittersweet kinda feeling. He's being borderline painfully sincere, there's no pretence of any kind because that harsh manner of dealing with the situation is the only one he's familiar with so he gives it his all, cuz there's literally nothing else to channel this energy into, I suppose. I find it marvelous cause he's so authentic in his ability to show it completely unashamedly (not only out of necessity, you gotta have balls to do it too). That's just who he is, take it or leave it (well, so far at least). The sad part is to be sincere is to be vulnerable, soft, to let your guard down (and it's scary as fuck) and, understandably, Ed has a certain kinda problem with that.

It's not a fight with an enemy, he doesn't have to be worried about being killed, but he still chooses to teach a lesson by letting Stede hurt him basically, of his own volition (he had it done to him dozens of times, he's a tough guy, we get that, but stabbing is stabbing, he can get used to it alright, but it doesn't change the fact that he still has his guts rearranged somehow and I'm sure it can't really feel good (well certainly not when a bloody sword is involved and not some other thing that can also penetrate the body which is not the case, even if it looks like (is meant to look like) some bizarre interaction of some pretty intimate nature, the situation is far from the possibility of either of them being docked, cause the damn ship is in the middle of nowhere, and the damn sword goes somewhere it does not belong under ordinary (well relatively) circumstances). So if we're not talking about the metaphorical interpretation (which is hard to ignore), it's a pretty tough way to teach someone how to do something.

What I'm saying is they didn't have to go all the way cuz it's a simulation (but piracy is very much real and it's not exactly a bed of roses, you gotta be prepared or you're gonna get killed, brutal and unfair as it is, it's the way life operates), but Ed still went for it. A pretty selfless thing to do, and what's interesting about it is it's not about feeding his ego (maybe it's because it's well-fed already btw, I mean all the legends, rumors and whatnot, I'm not saying Ed is full of himself, the analogy about being hungry and being fed has just crossed my mind for some reason, and I wanted to put it here), he clearly cares and not for some selfish reasons (even though he could, oh God, that's starting to look like a separate post).

I may be overthinking and overanalyzing it (not only this part, but the post as a whole, but oh well), but there's another fascinating thing about this scene, and it's the placement of the wound. It's in the stomach. In some Slavic languages 'stomach' literally means 'life' if we talk about its archaic usage, they even sound similar there, in English it's the word not only for a body part, but also for the ability to put up with something (well, with a certain kind of discomfort that Ed needs to endure for it to be profitable for Stede in the future in this case). So one would say it's a pretty vital part of a body (Ed himself admits there are important bits there, after all), and Ed doesn't protect it from Stede, doesn't conceal it. Even if it's essentially counterproductive. Not only does he say 'stab me', he literally shows where, gets the jacket out of the way, partially gets rid of the leather that's become his second skin which helps him feel safe, protected, an extra layer distancing him from an unpredictable outer world he's defenceless against and has no control over, shows he's vulnerable, naked if you will. Literally, cause there is a sliver of bare skin.

He literally trusts him with his life. With a fraction of it for now. Voluntarily. But he's still in control cause he knows how to navigate Stede's newfound ability to cause damage in such a way that he doesn't get hurt badly (it's 'I cleverly took the sword on the left', not 'you ran the sword through there', but at the same time it's 'you managed to avoid all the important bits' (he freaking WINKS at Stede (well, kinda.

or I'm just going insane cause I've stared at this bit of the vid and rewound it an unhealthy number of times), can you be any less subtle, my dude, you're down BAD), that sounds like an encouragement of sorts, like a 'well done' from a teacher helping his student gain confidence, I would even say it sounds kinda like a thank you for not betraying his trust, for not abusing his vulnerability, I mean Stede hardly comes off as some batshit insane type with no knowledge of boundaries, but you never know, especially when you've just met him). Ed trusts him, but he's still alert. But he's already ready to risk his comfort (which includes a wide range of things) for Stede to stay safe if his life is ever in danger.

The question which one of them fell first might be up for debate, but the fact that Ed fell harder is pretty evident, I think.

[reasonsforhope]

Your blog is a literal god send for me, I’ve been feeling so depressed, pessimistic, nihilistic and cynical at the state of the world right now and my fear of if I even have a future, but your blog is absolutely what I needed right now, so I can’t thank you enough. I’m just so happy to see someone who is hopeful and positive and not pessimistic, and it makes me legit want to cry tears of joy. How are you able to stay so positive and optimistic despite everything going on?

<3 <3 <3

As for how I stay optimistic and relatively positive? Lots of effort and hard work.

I'm not naturally an optimist. I spent most of my life (and certainly my adolescence lol) being pretty angry and cynical.

It's not that I never feel depressed or despairing about the state of the world. There's fucked up shit happening, indisputably, and hey, I'm trans, it's been a rough fucking year for that. But I guess I try to focus on the difference between passing moods and baseline worldview.

Some of the main ways I moved my baseline worldview to be optimistic and hopeful:

A lot of reading and looking at data and in-depth stories. The headlines never give you enough of the story - hell, most news articles don't these days, because they're so skewed toward negative news

Especially reading/looking at good news sites (I have a masterpost of good news sites here). There are good things happening everywhere that you never hear about. Mostly, you only ever hear about the good things when there's been a huge setback, which sucks!

I'm basically not on social media. Nothing except Tumblr, Facebook, and LinkedIn, and I only ever go on FB and linkedin briefly for business. It's fantastic, can't recommend ditching social media enough

I made sure I was doing something to help (aka I started this blog. I would also volunteer but my disabilities and a lot of logistics make that complicated)

My job involves reading a couple dozen self-help books a year lol, not gonna lie that def helps

Taking a long perspective of time. It often doesn't feel like it, but statistically, this really is the best time to be alive. (Here's a fantastic essay about many of the reasons why.) People really gloss over how much most of the past kinda fucking sucked to live in. 50% of all people used to die before their 15th birthday, for basically all of history until the past 200 years!! Imagine having to live with that. Imagine all of that pain and grief literally everywhere. I'm really happy about living in modern times, actually!

That last point is esp helpful to remember for me because I'm 100% for sure on the list of "people who would've died in childbirth" pre modern medicine (and my mom would've died having me, too). It was modern times or nothing lol

The vast majority of the world has spent the past 300 to 500 years being absolutely brutalized by white people and/or the West. There's still a lot of fallout to fix and colonialism to uproot, but I genuinely can't wait to see what people and nations will achieve with sustained self-rule and significantly fewer massive atrocities

Solarpunk and hopepunk stuff

I'm gonna make a whole post about this at some point but the fact that we eliminated scarcity in the past few decades actually changes the entire fucking game for the world (literally it's not a zero sum game anymore) and for the future. We're allowed a bit of a learning curve I think

I listen to the Rent soundtrack a lot and go "well you know what being trans right now sucks but being trans at the height of the aids crisis would've been way fucking worse" lol rip

Meds! Meds. Antidepressants and antianxiety meds unfortunately don't work for everyone (yet!), but also thank fuck for meds

Progress almost always happens in slow, tiny increments, with a lot of stops and starts and setbacks. You have to always remember that there are always people fighting somewhere, and if they're stopped, there will always be more people to pick up the fight in the future

[bluebunnysart]

(Chimera Teto x Android Miku WIP, another one, yeah, another one lol)

I may not finish WIPs but I can definitely start new drawings!! 😂Hahahaha ! I always try to make them chibis (for simplicity) but I also want to draw details/the full body, so of course it turns into a double full-body drawing that takes forever.... This isn't even the final lineart obviously but it's almost 5 AM again and I know I'm gonna fuss with this some more, so I guess here's a WIP so I can show off what I did at least tonight xD In case I decide to do other things in the meantime...

Tell me why I literally spent like 2 hours (fr) trying to draw Miku 'cuz Miku is hard asf to draw and challenges me to draw better 😂😂😂😂 Anyway (a long-ish) explanation of stuff under the read more 'cuz I don't want to take up people's dashboards. When I finally finish this drawing or the other one, I won't have to yap as much in the post too. xD

A series of things happened today that led to me creating this drawing. (Miku's prefinal lineart is done too btw, I'm just not showing her to you 'cuz no point spoiling the whole drawing lol, plus I might make changes.)

I went to the store for a brief moment 'cuz all my pens kept running out of ink and I was annoyed I didn't have any reliable pens and I wanted a pen to write a continuation to this AU, right.

When I went to the store, there was a song playing and I thought it sounded nice, what little I heard of it before I had to return to work. So once I left the store and was able to look at my phone again, I looked up this song through the lyrics I heard and I found it. And the whole song was even better than I thought: the lyrics and music are INCREDIBLY sweet and now I really like it. xD

Besides liking it in general as a song (this genre of song), I was ALSO super into it because I thought, "This is super End of the World AU-coded (Android Miku x Chimera Teto)" and it made me so happy, excited, and giddy lol.

Like, listen to this...

"When the cloud's above your head / And the sun's not breaking through / You know I'll be there to sing this song for you. / And it goes: / La la la / la la la la la~..."

This is absolutely something the Miku in my AU would sing. This is absolutely a song she and Teto would listen to together-- like, I could draw them listening to it together and that's actually practically what my drawing is lol. I could draw an animatic or make an MV to this song about them... I could make a comic where Miku is singing this directly to Teto and persuades her to sing it with her, especially the chorus (la la la) parts. I smile because in the first fic, Miku also goes "lalala~" (idk the number of la's lol), and it's not like what she sings is this or anything, but it's a small connection that I like. xD I literally discovered this song only today but this is absolutely a song Teto would have in either one of the cassette players or in the MP3 player. This song matches them and the AU too so Miku would absolutely sing it and like it a lot too. This song made me think of my AU and I was already excited/trying to keep writing more so I could get to the good parts, so finding this song made me really excited, ok. xD

Also I'm not sure how you WOULDN'T adore Miku if she sang something like this, especially directly to Teto (her only audience).

All the sweet lines and stuff made me super soft, so I put this song on loop and literally played it for hours. The whole time I was drawing too. It's just so cute and fitting and it's what made me create art for this AU again instead of making Turing Love fanart or one of the other dozens of ideas I have and whatnot. xD

That was a lot of words to explain what prompted this drawing in the first place when it wasn't planned in the slightest, but now I'll talk more about the drawing itself.

I was inspired by all the fanart I've received so far! It'll show in the final drawing. c: But when drawing this, I was looking at Slyvasta's art since I wanted to draw Slyvasta's version of Teto too. Teto is easiest to draw imo, so we've got the scarf, horn, wings, and tail. The pupils were actually added at the very end 'cuz Slyvasta's has sharp pupils and I thought that was cool and a good idea lol: this Teto's eyes can have sharp pupils (dragon/reptile-like) while Miku's eyes are more round yet robotic.

I was thinking about the flavor of tsundere that Teto is (in my AU) and this drawing was partially inspired by me wanting to clarify stuff about that. xD I did call her "cool, gruff, indifferent, etc." which is all true and does apply, but she's still playful and can be lively, even if she's been beaten down by exhaustion and gloominess, as I've mentioned. In other words, she never was a complete downer or anything (I know I said that before), but I wanted to clarify that she's not, like, the cold type who's ONLY frowning or who's grumpy either.

If I think about it, the "trying to act cool/indifferent" thing is mostly an act I think, yeah. xD Like, of course she'll frown or have a neutral uninterested expression if she's bored or she's been through annoying experiences (like starving or encountering various issues), but she's still kicking, if that makes sense. Like, the enthusiasm and zest for life isn't exactly there, but she's doing what she can to get by. I guess she's more of the type to distract herself and focus on other stuff so she doesn't get too existential? So it's not like she isn't lowkey depressed-- she's just the type to make jokes about it. She's basically original mischievous Teto but with some baggage she's carrying.

This might seem like a weird post now based on the stuff I'm writing LOL but I really did think about it, ok. xD The way to characterize her. And she has really valid reasons to be sad and everything, but she's not as harsh and edgy as her appearance implies. That's something that I really like about her: the gap moe lol.

So what does this mean in relation to Miku? Well, Teto is a pretty normal girl who's cool and nonchalant. She's probably arrogant in a cute way too, judging from her catchphrase and how she likes acting like a know-it-all and being praised/appreciated. But basically, the tsundere mainly comes out whenever she gets embarrassed.

The Teto in my AU can smile and has a couple of times, and she's nice because she helps Miku out before she even knows Miku that well. So....

She's probably the type to send Miku soft smiles without even realizing it. Like, she relaxes a lot and is happy or something and then her expression will turn so warm or gentle, I'm pretty sure. 🥰 Her tail and body language already gives her away, so I love the idea of her expression changing into a really affectionate one before she even notices or realizes it. She realizes she's been smiling the whole time after 5 whole minutes pass or Miku points it out and then she's like, "I-I wasn't smiling or anything?! (unsure why she's immediately denying it)" lol.

Anyway, THAT'S when the tsundere comes out. She isn't tsundere towards Miku unprompted, and even though Teto doesn't know how to deal with Miku YET, that doesn't mean Teto walks on eggshells around her or is curt/cold to her. Teto acts very naturally and herself-- she only gets tsundere whenever she's NOT acting like herself, aka being really weak or soft for Miku at different moments.

Her tsundere is a weak kind of tsundere too (unlike Neru, who isn't in this AU anyway), so she'll just get embarrassed or lie or act kinda awkward or prickly to hide her embarrassment (maybe a sharp word or two, along the lines of "Shush" and "Shuddup"), but in the end, she's a very cute and kind girl. 🥰 They both are 🥰🥰🥰

It might take me one or two more iterations before I'm finally satisfied with the final lineart, but this time, I made the time lapse longer, so you'll be able to see how I struggled to draw Miku for like 2 whole hours. xD

This, too, I want to color. I actually wanted to color my first drawing first, but then I discovered the song I mentioned earlier and it made me so hyped up that I wanted to create a whole new piece about it. Along with the other two songs that I associate with this AU, I was really happy to find yet another one. This song is cute in general too, so it was immediately added to my Motivation playlist. xD

With how hard Miku is to draw and how long drawing takes in general, it makes me even more impressed with Miku artists lol. Like, Miku is so demanding but I love her so of course I'll push through until I do her justice... I'm slow because I care a lot and want to do these two right, ok... xD Lineart and the like is more in my comfort zone, but I'll definitely tackle coloring soon; tonight's session only proves that it'll take longer than I expected/5 hours lol.

I'm not only planning to create stuff for my AU only-- I want to make all kinds of Mktt stuff. But I was really inspired by other people's art and this time, I even drew with their art in mind lol.

I have no idea how long it'll take, but I'll continue to make more art! To me, it's the clearest way I show/understand my love lol. I've been inspired seeing other people's art too, so I definitely wanted to draw my own....

Anyway, time to go tf to sleep. (it's 6 AM 😅)

[sleepanonymous]

Hello!! I'm sorry if you've already answered this, but I was wondering how early you queued up for your ritual? Mine is in a few days, and I'm not sure how early to plan to be up and out the door. I would love to get barricade or close to it if I can! I was also wondering if you had any other tips for waiting in line for a while? Hydration and SPF are definitely gonna be a priority for me.

P.S. I always see you answering questions for others here in a very thorough and non-judgmental manner, and I really appreciate the positivity you bring to the fandom! Thank you for being around and creating such a welcoming space. It's one of the biggest reasons I've stayed interested in engaging in the fandom side of things.

Hi, thanks for the question! I think I have answered this on Tumblr already, but I don't mind talking about this again lol, especially since I think it was only in a comment on a post and not an actual post. I never mind going into details either. And thank you so much, there are some really shitty spaces in this fandom 👉👈🥹 I'm just trying to help keep the vibe on Tumblr friendly and welcoming. Nearly everyone here has been super lovely, so I'm lucky to be part of this side of the fandom 🖤

In Phoenix my friend group (four of us) showed up a little after 5:30 in the morning. There were four people ahead of us who lined up at midnight and 3:30 am. Because the pit was so small for the Phoenix ritual (I'm guessing 200 people max), only about two dozen people were in line by eight in the morning and every single one of us was on the barricade. This will be different for every venue depending on how it's sectioned off (pit vs seats vs lawn/grass etc.). So for a larger venue with a bigger pit section, you'll likely see more people lining up earlier in the morning.

The venue itself was extremely hospitable and allowed us inside the lobby area to use the restroom and refill our water bottles, except during soundcheck from around 3:00 pm to 4:30 pm. Obviously that's a venue thing, and not something I had ever experienced before, but you may get lucky, especially if the venue has security hanging out with the line in the daytime. Another tip if you haven't checked already, see if there are Fast Pass options for your venue that you can purchase as an add-on from Ticketmaster or through the local box office. Regardless of what time you show up or your number in line, those with a Fast Pass will always get through the doors first.

What I did before I knew that using the venue for water and bathrooms was an option was check out the surrounding area on Google maps. The Arizona Financial Theatre is in Downtown Phoenix, so there were a number of restaurants and I think a CVS within a half-mile that people from the line would occasionally visit (it also gave us a reason to walk around the venue and check out the tour busses lol). If this is an option, you can also scope out the venue the day/evening before the ritual; this is especially helpful if there's another concert going on that day, so you can see where the line forms for your venue and what the sunlight situation is like.

Since I didn't drive and I showed up to the venue using rideshare, I made the mistake of wearing my ritual outfit and makeup the entire day. It wasn't awful, but I am now sporting fishnet tan-lines on my legs 😆 What others did was show up in their pajamas or general street clothes, and closer to doors they changed into their ritual outfits and did their makeup in their cars. That's probably the only thing I would have done differently, to be honest; bring your outfit with you, and dress for the weather accordingly that day. Keep an eye on your weather app, especially if you're travelling and unfamiliar with the area you'll be waiting in. Also, check to see what time the sunrise happens in that location, because that's what made my friends and I decide on lining up at 5:30. No band is worth getting harassed in the middle of the night for, especially if you're in an all female/femme group.

Something that goes nicely along with SPF and hydration is earplugs. I bought knockoff Eargasm earplugs off Amazon since I knew I'd be going to a festival and 2 concerts within a week and didn't want to go deaf. They worked amazingly for me, in the pit at SNW, on the barricade in Phoenix, and at the back of the venue in Albuquerque, plus I didn't have to deal with my ears ringing for hours after.

This last thing isn't so much of a tip, but! Since you'll have the time while waiting and you're trying for barricade, learn the lyrics to an Empire State Bastard song or two. Specifically the last song of their set, The Looming. It's one of their more "chill" songs and has clean vocals. One of my friends started singing it back to the band during her second ritual of the tour, and Simon (the singer, and also likely one of baby Vessel's influences) got so happy he pointed her out in the crowd. Then you can make some British Millennials™️ very jealous by boasting about how the dude from Biffy Clyro pointed you out in a crowd.

This also isn't much of a line tip either, but if you're planning on filming/taking photos, use ESB as your test subjects to tweak your camera settings. That way you're not fumbling so much with your phone while Sleep Token is on stage.

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay Visuals: This Is Halloween

So obviously I'm not the only one who loves talking about Voiceplay and analysing their content, but I wanted to do something a bit different from the kinds of analyses/reactions that other people do, both on here and on Youtube (and music theory isn't really my forte anyway). So I'm planning on making some posts just focusing on the videos (and Geoff's as well, eventually), rather than the music arrangement or vocals or anything like that. My credentials are being a Drama Kid during my high school years, and experience with this sort of analysis from my time in other fandoms. I'm not planning on doing every single video, and though I'm gonna go chronologically from mid-2017 onwards (why not earlier? Because Reasons). However, since I yesterday finished a fanfic based on Voiceplay's cover of This Is Halloween, (which I studied a fair bit to get details right), I might as well start there!

Oogie Boogie pumpkin just outside the front door! (And a Jack Skellington one on the other side I believe?) These pumpkin also shows up in the spooky Halloween realm the group are transported to after eating the candy.

Credit to one of the comments which said that Earl is wearing a cow onesie and Eli is wearing a rooster onesie, which more likely than not is a callback to their (extremely hilarious) Chicken Song performance. (J is wearing a CatDog onesie, I think Geoff is wearing a giraffe onesie? And I'm not sure what Layne's onesie is meant to be)

Again credit to a commenter (different one), pointing out that Eli deadpan elbows Layne in the back, pushing him down after he eats the candy (likely a not-so-subtle acting cue or something like that, but still very funny once you notice it)

The return of the Jack and Oogie Boogie pumpkins, along with some other creatively-designed Jack-O-Lanterns! Peep the one on the far right, a little more towards the back; its 'eyes' say VP, and its mouth is the Voiceplay logo!

Also a little bit of foreshadowing, whether intentional or not: when Layne wakes up, one of the first things in his line of sight is the axe resting on the hay bales...

First of all, how many pumpkins were carved just for this video? Because a lot of effort went into making all those different designs for sure (and no, I'm not part of Voiceplay's Patreon, as the tier that lets you see behind-the-scenes stuff is like $8.50 AUD per month, rip). And second of all, this is a decent shot of how the group starts out upon waking up. J None is wearing a yellow plaid flannel quite similar to The Wolfman in Nightmare Before Christmas, and Earl is wearing denim overalls, like the behemoth character. Eli's outfit is of course representative of the Mayor of Halloweentown, but no spider bowtie or "Mayor" rosette (would've loved to see it, but eh no biggie). Layne I will get to in a moment, and Geoff a little bit after that.

I can't be bothered getting a better picture of it but Eli's half-concerned half-weirded-out face after J's helium-like vocal line is very amusing to me

On the "eyes glowing red" line, Earl's eyes (which are white at this point) flash red for a very brief moment, basically blink-and-you-miss-it.

The colour-change on Eli's left eye is so subtle that at first I didn't notice it at all, and then I only noticed it later on in the video, and only now, doing this analysis and taking a dozen screencaps, do I realize that it happens way earlier than I first thought (which explains why he takes his glasses off at this point I guess) (so uh, that's a minor inconsistency in my fanfic but it's fine)

Shoutout to the makeup/SFX people who helped with this video honestly, they did a super good job, genuinely!

(In which the frame-by-frame scrubbing technique comes in real handy)

An interesting choice to have Layne go through a sort of "half-transformation" stage, where he has a horn and red eye on one side of the face, while the other side of the face is normal. I like it though!

People have said that Layne is meant to be the devil (who is in fact another Halloweentown resident, but honestly I think he's meant to be Lock, or at least a combination of the two, because this what the two characters look like:

See how Layne resembles Lock more? In the outfit choice if nothing else (Also he's kinda sorta got the right face shape for Lock imo). Also, Lock wears a red trick-or-treating mask with horns on top!

Earl is really distressed about his hair falling out (not that I can blame him, really)

This shot/moment is probably one of the ones that stands out to me the most (other than Certain Other Ones for Other Reasons that I will get to in a moment), because J comes across as pretty mournful here, like he knows what's happening but he's feeling really sad/regretful about it? (Also I only just noticed Eli's face in the background and I'm not sure what to make of it 😅)

"pog" is not a word in my vocabulary 95% of the time, but this is basically just Pog faces right? (Geoff and Layne probably have the most fun of the group in this video ngl)

(Also I haven't yet touched on Geoff's transformations but I love the contouring work on his face!)

My god this video is comedy gold when it comes to pausing/taking screenshots

I daresay Eli ends up one of the least recognizable of the group by the end of it (other than J), and I wanna know how long that took to do

Geoff is the only one in the video who gets an outfit upgrade (Good For Him)

They didn't bother being movie-accurate with Geoff's vampire appearance, and honestly I'm definitely not complaining. (they made him hotter)

Layne did the music arrangement, but Geoff was in charge of the video production. How much say did he have over his own costume/appearance I wonder?

Visually speaking at least, nobody is even paying attention to him, they're just like "yeah that's just Geoff, normal behaviour, nothing new" 😆

I can't get a decent picture of it but shoutout to Layne doing a silly little run around the pumpkin stack, love that for him

Another small moment that a screencap wouldn't do justice: even as a vampire, Geoff still does his little self-conducting hand motions, which you might notice as he walks around the pumpkin stack, in the shot right after his "filling your dreams to the brim with fright" line

Also love Geoff's little almost-Elvis-like moves in the background for a brief scene. I know multiple commenters have mentioned it, but I'm yet to see a reactor notice it

Suddenly Layne is Concerned(tm) about Geoff's vampireness it seems?

Also for someone who very much adores this guy, it took me an embarassingly long time to realise that Geoff's face at this point had become paler and his hairline had changed (and actually now that I type it up here, I think that might even be a wig? Oh dear)

I don't really have anything to say about J's full transformation, but it would be unfair of me to not include him as well, and it's definitely a *very* impressive costume. Almost like one of those rubbery fully-covering-the-head costume mask things, but like it's his actual face?

Is that tattoo real or fake, because I literally have never noticed it in any other Voiceplay video, but it's very realistic! (For that matter, what aobut Earl's upper-arm tattoo that kind of looks like a ring of barbed wire?)

I basically watch the This Is Halloween opening scene from The Nightmare Before Christmas every October, and same with the What's This scene in December, but I had never actually watched the movie in full until December last year. So basically when they had the axe-in-the-head moment in the movie I was like ohhhhhhh so that wasn't just a random moment that Voiceplay dreamed up for the video! (I had a similar moment with the Mr Hyde character and his Mini Mr Hydes in his hat in the movie, but in relation to Voiceplay's Kidnap The Sandy Claws video)

When Elizabeth Zharoff/The Charismatic Voice reacted to this video, she said that the kid at the end (Layne's nephew, apparently), was "adorable". Meanwhile Mortius' reaction to the end scene was "oh I didn't like that! It makes me feel like I'm next!" 😂

Also suddenly just realized that the "real world" scenes are in a different aspect ratio to the "spooky dream realm" scenes? Possibly intentional, but also possibly just due to them using two different types of cameras for the shots.

And that's a wrap! I was hoping to get this done and posted last night but it took longer than expected. Hope you enjoyed it, as I'm thinking of writing up at least one or two more now, and scheduling them for daily releases. See ya!

[saunteringvaguelydownwards]

what are the fics you’d consider required reading (as you said in the tags of another post) ? any fandom i’d say for required reading or if there’s too much, for warrior nun ?

*heavy sigh* I had this post 90% complete when the power went out at my house and I had to rewrite the whole thing.

I'm gonna give you a scattershot approach, one fic for a few different fandoms, different types of fic, and hopefully something resonates.

🦗 (Recommend any fic, wild card!)

Avengers/MCU - The Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail series by owlet (tumblr?)

Set immediately at the end of CA:TWS, Bucky's scrambled brain does a hard reset and decides his new mission is to protect Steve, covertly. Meanwhile, he kinda gets adopted by the senior citizens that live in the shitty apartment building he's crashing in while he learns how to be person again. It's snarky AF, touching, funny, great action, fluffy domestic Avengers Tower stuff. There's some Stucky eventually, but it's not the primary focus and doesn't really show up until like the 5th story in the series. There are 7 stories, and a Q&A with the author.

OUaT - The Secret's in the Telling by @the-pyrophoric-one

Emma is being pranked by a thief while living in the mansion with Regina and Henry, and there's also magic fuckery afoot. This story is just neat. It's tightly-plotted and funny. I can't actually say too much because the whole point is that there's a mystery to solve and I'd hate to spoil it. Even when I had kinda figured out what was going on, I still had no idea how it would end. It's told from two different POVs, so it's fun to reread the first part once you know the ending. Apparently there's also a sequel, but I don't believe I've read it yet.

R&I - Calamity Jane Meets Dr. Isles, Medicine Woman by @jobethdalloway

Rizzles 1800s western AU. Maura is a fancy lady from Boston who moves west to live with her fiancé Garrett Fairfield, Jane wears pants, drinks whiskey, and roams the countryside as Jake Wyatt, an outlaw who's hunting for Charles Hoyt, the man who killed her parents. The immersion in this AU is stunning, the characters feel true to the originals while allowing for how things would change given the time and circumstances, and the buildup from their unconventional meeting to friends to more is a lovely and authentic slow burn. There's also a completed sequel, but it's still on my to-read list.

The 100 - Lightning Only Strikes Once by fiona_249 (tumblr?)

Lexa gets shot and dies, Clarke climbs to the roof of the building, gets hit by weird lightning, then suddenly she's back on The Ark, about to be sent down to Earth with 99 other teen prisoners, and no one remembers the events of the past year besides her. The ultimate fix-it fic. How do you fix your mistakes while still trying to keep the good things that happened? Balancing future knowledge with ripple effects, how much can you change before you don't know what's going to happen anymore? What do you do with a second chance? I think I've read this fic at least half a dozen times.

Warrior Nun - What If I Told You I'm a Mastermind? by @sapphicstacks

Avatrice actress AU. Ava is an unknown actress working as a bartender, Bea is a famous but reclusive actress making a comeback after several years away from the spotlight, and they get cast together in a sapphic love story. You ever read a story and go "JFC, will you two just talk to each other?" Yeah, the reason is because all of the healthy communication got requisitioned for this fic. It's incredibly wholesome and overwhelmingly romantic and also ridiculously hot. Like, prep a cold shower or make sure you're somewhere private when you read it. There's a regularly-updated WiP sequel.

[simtanico]

Are the creators whose sliders you're modifying aware that you're doing so and re-uploading them to your account? I'm asking because, following what happened in the community, I want to make sure I'm not contributing to the violation of anyone's TOU.

So this is gonna be a little long! I got things to say:

Yes. Mostly. The answer is really depends on whether the creator is still around. My updates usually deal with sliders that are pretty old.

The only time it was not clearly sanctioned was for Pu+Chi House’s sliders. Their tou doesn’t allow it. However, I’ve updated and I’ve iterated that I’ve uploaded for archival purposes and will take down if told to.

I could care less about clicks and if someone has uploaded other things for archival purposes, then I usually just link back. What's cool about this community is not letting CC fade into obscurity! I hope whenever I'm not here anymore, that my cc is still available for you all. Something I try to do with my slider master list if find working downloads before I resort to doing it myself.

With creating, I try to practice all this with the intention of sharing with the community and never claiming work that is not my own for complete transparency. Every original creator is named and credited clearly. I make sure that TOUs allow changes or conversion (when it comes to S4 conversions). And I've said it in posts before but yeah I would absolutely take things down or refrain from posting if creators do not approve.

The updates I make, while not revolutionary in any way, I hope are at least transformative enough to warrant me being able to upload them myself.

If you're not sure what good faith, grey faith, and bad faith entails in this community, a lot of current creators got together and kinda wrote out what that might entail. It's a good read and is only meant to tell you what the consensus is generally!

I've had my things reuploaded without my permission, and I've actually allowed it in cases with regional access and all that. Nowadays, I'm aware I can't control everything, which is why I don't put every single person who uploads my sliders in huge packs on blast.

And for me it's really simple: While the creator is still active and openly has their downloads available, there's really no reason to be reuploading works of a non-transformative nature.

But people are gonna do what they're gonna do.

The times it's really a community issue are when people don't do what's listed above or are not completely transparent with use of previously existing cc or code, which is exactly what happened these past few days.

Credit was not outright given (not without a weird non-apology), it was not transparent how transformative the mod was (kept the code mostly the same), and they uploaded and zipped up dozens of creators work behind a paywall for the sake of "convenience" which actually just does more harm than good when the collection contains outdated and possibly buggy, older, or incompatible modifications.

So IMO, it's not just about the TOU re-uploading and all that. It's about behaviors that don't exhibit bad faith with creating!

What it comes down to is being able to listen to others and do what's right. We only have each other to answer to.

That's all I have to say on the matter. If you're new, welcome to the community! I do hope that you're going directly to creators and getting their stuff the way they would like it distributed and downloading from people who don't charge you money for recolors or tuning files. :)

[themaladaptivewriter12]

Title: Diamonds Are Forever

Part 8.1 of my “Cray-Cray for Cater” series! Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 , and Part 7 can be found here!

Parings: Cater Diamond x Twisted Wonderland Male OC (Mirai Yuhara)

Summary:

With an extended break, Cater decides to take Mirai on a trip to remember. This trip should have strengthened their bonds, but somehow they break a little too.

a/n: This will have sub parts due to the nature of this part. It was too long for Tumblr and THERE WILL BE A SMUT SUB PART! DNI IF THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE! Please and thank you. I want you all to be able to skip the part if you want without losing the flow of the work, or having to skip the work entirely.

cw: implied/referenced past abuse. Nothing graphic or detailed. death mentioned, again, nothing graphic.

a/n: It's funny how around this time last year, I wrote this, and now, it's finally being unearthed lolol. I love this work so much! I can't wait to see it all come together! The airline I referenced is Qatar Airways btw!

a/n: Mi-Mi's Birthday is coming next week! I'm excited for my little Mi-Mi-tot!

a/n: Soooooo…….I've never flown before, and it probably shows lolol, but I tried my best! ( 〃▽〃) Also, I'm pretty sure this isn't how mirror travel works either. I wrote this before I played book 4, where Ace and Deuce talk about all the hoops they had to jump through to get back to the Isle of Sages, without the mirror, and I didn't have the heart to change it, so yeah. My incorrect way of travel and how airlines work stays! ヽ(￣ω￣(。。 )ゝ

Reblogs are appreciated, just use my custom tag, #TheMaladaptiveWriter12, if you do!  (─‿‿─)♡

Cross posted from my Ao3: TheMaladaptiveWriter12

Things were getting busy with midterms coming up and everyone was on edge, tension seemed to seep from the school in waves. Professors were getting stricter, and students were burning out by the dozen. But there was a saving grace in all of this. Due to the multiple pleas from students and staff alike, Headmage Crowley granted everyone a four day weekend after midterms, using two of their unused snow days. Mirai was grateful for the break. They had Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday off. It really was a much needed break. And if Mirai had to go over the magic of the Briar Valley one more time, he was gonna throw himself into one of Crewel's cauldrons. 

It was Friday, and Mirai and Grim had just got done eating lunch, and of course when he mentioned cleaning up their mess, Grim scampered off to somewhere in the dorm. Mirai was pretty sure Grim had a secret hideout in the walls or something. He always seemed to disappear at certain times of the day, or when he had responsibilities to fulfill, and no matter how hard he looked, Mirai could never find him. 

After he got done downstairs, Mirai went up to his room where he started cleaning there as well. He tended to have a messy room, dirty clothes strewn all over the floor, clean clothes on his bed, bottles and cans of soda cluttering his night stand, and empty chip and candy wrappers filling his garbage can. It was messy, but at least there was no dust, rot, and spider webs like when he first moved in. 

Mirai was sorting his clothes when he heard a clatter from outside his window, immediately knowing what the noise was. It could be several different people, but he had a strong feeling he knew who it was. 

“Sup, Boo,” Mirai called, stuffing a dirty shirt into his hamper.

“Howdya know it was me?” Cater asked, pulling himself through the window.

“You and one other are the only ones who’d come see me this early in the day, but then again, he’s louder than you are.”

“Who’s the other?”

“Leona.”

Cater laughed, “Figured.”

Mirai had an “open window policy” of sorts. Only those who knew, and it was only a few, were allowed to visit Mirai anytime as long as the window was open. Cater and Leona would visit during the day, the two of them using it to shirk on their duties, while Kalim visited when he needed a change of space, or when he needed someone other than Jamil to talk to, but normally it was Mirai hanging out at Kalim’s dorm. It was much more fun there. 

Then there were a few times where Jamil stopped by as well, as he needed someone to vent to about Kalim and his place in the boy’s life. Azul would stop by at times too, but normally he did when was in a funk and needed to vent to someone who wouldn’t hold it against him. Lilia and Malleus would visit at separate times, and Mirai found both their company to be enjoyable ones. Mirai stopped counting the rest of the Freshmen’s visits long ago with how much they spent the night at Ramshackle. 

“Whacha doing?” Cater asked, sitting in the arm chair.

“Sorting laundry. It’s not much, I just don’t put stuff away.”

“So what are your plans for the weekend?”

Mirai knew Cater was onto something. They normally didn’t plan when they hung out, they just kinda lived in the moment. Also, there was the fidgeting. Cater tended to have trouble hiding his excitement, and it often showed through his expression and or through inability to sit still. But Mirai was gonna play dumb and play along.

“No, not that I know of. I’m prolly not gonna do this laundry until next weekend. This isn’t enough for a full load. Why?”

“Okay, okay,” Cater all but squealed excitedly, sitting down in front of Mirai on the floor, taking the Ramshackle Prefect’s hands to hold into his own. “First of all, you can decline any or all of these suggestions. No one’s forcing you to say yes, no one’s gonna hold it against you. Two, one of these things, even if you agree to the rest, can be declined and no one’s gonna hold it against you.”

“U-Uh, o-okay,” Mirai said, nodding trying to decipher everything Cater just said.

“How would you like to go meet Daddy Diamond?” Cater asked excitedly.

Mirai was speechless. A million possibilities were going through his head, but none of them were this, none of them prepared him for this. “Y-You, you mean, a-as in your father?” Mirai asked, voice sounding small and distant.

“Mn,” Cater nodded excitedly. “As I said, you can say no. My other offer is just to take the trip to the Shaftlands without the meeting, and again, you can say no.”

“I-I, uh, this is really important. I-I don’t know what to say.”

Cater let go of Mirai’s hands in favor of holding his face instead, “I’m not pressuring you to do any of these things. They all are just merely suggestions. We don’t have to go.”

“B-But I don’t wanna keep you from seeing your father,” Mirai said hurriedly.

“Hon, I can see him anytime.”

“But-”

Cater pressed a chaste kiss to Mirai’s lips, successfully cutting him off. “He just happened to have time just when we were granted a four day weekend, and is staying in a hotel. I thought maybe we could make use of it. Again, if you’d like we could skip the meeting for now and wait another time where we would have more time to prepare and plan.”

“When would we leave?” Mirai asked softly.

“Unfortunately this afternoon. The flight leaves at five, so two hours from now. Short notice, I know. We should land by seven, and then move to a taxi for an hour drive to the city, getting us to the hotel for the night by eight. Nine at the latest.” 

“Okay.”

“Okay? O-Okay as in yes? Or okay as in okay?”

“Yes to all of it,” Mirai chuckled. “I’ll go with you to the Shaftlands to meet your father.”

“Okay, wow, okay, we're actually doing this,” Cater rambled excitedly. “OMG! Like we're about to go on our first trip together! I’m so excited! #Couplegoals!”

Mirai found Cater adorable. He looked so cute, all excited and happy, practically vibrating out of his skin. Mirai walked up to Cater and pulled him down for a kiss. “Calm down, Cutie,” Mirai laughed.

“But I’m so excited,” Cater gushed, kissing him back, “There’s so much we can do! So much I can show you! It’s your first time really off of campus.”

It was, wasn't it? Besides going to the dwarf mines and surprisingly, the Coral Sea. Mirai hadn’t ever left the campus. This made everything different. Now? Mirai had no reservations about going. He wanted to see this twisted wonderland he was sucked into against his will, well, not that he minded. 

“So Ima go pack real quick, then I’ll come back and get you, okay?” Cater asked.

“Oka-Wait! What about Grim? I can’t just leave him.” Mirai cried.

This put a damper on everything for Mirai. He hated leaving Grim out of things like he wasn’t important to him, and he definitely didn’t want the little monster to feel like a third wheel.

“I don’t see why he can’t go. Ask him.”

“No, no,” Mirai sighed, “I’ll have him stay. This time is more important. I’ll make it up to him when I get back.”

“You sure?” Cater asked.

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I’ll be back.”

Cater walked out the door before turning around and peeking his head in not even a second later. “You don’t have a suitcase, do you?”

“No,” Mirai laughed.

“Okay I’ll bring that too, just get your stuff ready,” Cater laughed. 

Mirai nodded. 

“Bye, Boo,” Cater winked, running off. 

Mirai shook his head and went to go find Grim.

Mirai called out for the call, looking all over for him, but he didn’t show. After about fifteen minutes, he was beginning to worry.

“Grim! Grimmy! Grim the Fire Breathing Monster,” Mirai called. “Grimmaroo! Grimilicious definition make them boys go-”

“What do you want, human?!” 

Mirai perked up at the pair of flaming ears at the end of the hall.

Grim huffed agitatedly, trotting over to the Prefect. “You just think you can call The Great Grim whenever you please? You work for me, not the other way around.”

Mirai ignored him and cut to the chase, “I’m leaving for the weekend and won’t be back until Monday. And before you ask, no, sadly you cannot go. I’m doing something that’s really important to Cater and I’m sure you don’t want to witness what you like to call “disgusting human mating rituals.” I’ll make it up to you when I get back, but right now, I’m short on time.”

Grim grumbled. “Buy me five hundred deluxe premium cans of tuna.”

“I’ll buy you three when I get back. And you don’t have to clean the house for a week.” 

“Make it two weeks and I get to eat in my room.”

“Fine. But if the rats come back, you're getting rid of them.”

Grim stuck out his tongue and before he could scurry off, Mirai snatched him up and placed a fat kiss to the top of his head.

“Fynya!”

“Stay out of trouble, yeah?” Mirai asked, hugging Grim tightly.

“Yeah, yeah,” Grim pouted, accepting the hug.

Mirai let Grim down, and Grim just stood there. Mirai thought he wanted to say something, but he guessed Grim decided against it, for he just scurried off down the hall. 

Mirai went back to his room and began packing. Mirai grabbed six shirts, four pairs of pants and a pair of pajamas. He also grabbed some underclothes, and some extras. In the bathroom, Mirai grabbed his toothbrush, some toothpaste, and his medication. Mirai didn’t know what else to bring, so he decided to finish cleaning his room.

It wasn’t long before Cater came back with two suitcases. “Cay-Cay’s back and ready to pack,” Cater cheered, plopping his extra suitcase onto the bed. 

Mirai laughed at Cater’s enthusiasm. The one Cater had given Mirai was a plain blue and his own was a bright orange covered in little charms, and iron-on patches. It was very cute and very Cater-esque.

“So like, unless you don’t like the idea of me helping you pack,” Cater said, opening the blue suitcase, “I’m the king of packing. I can get this stuff packed in a jiffy.”

“It’s all yours,” Mirai laughed. 

“Alright! Watch and learn.”

Mirai was seriously impressed. Just like he said, Cater was really good at packing and he was quick at it. He had everything tucked away comfortably and efficiently. Nothing looked out of place or squished, and in all honesty, Mirai thought it looked like something right out of a commercial travel blog. 

“And done! #PicturePerfect,” Cater said with a wink. 

“Thanks,” Mirai said with a smile.

Cater moved the suitcase and put it next to his own. “C’mere, Babydoll,” Cater cooed, sitting on the bed, reaching his arms out to Mirai.

Mirai happily climbed up onto Cater, straddling his lap. 

“You got everything? Wanna list everything just in case?” Cater asked, kissing Mirai’s chin.

Mirai giggled, “I think so. I got clothes, extra socks, extra shirts, and my toothbrush.”

“Deodorant?”

“You saying I could use some?”

“Wha-no, no,” Cater stammered, eyes wide.

Mirai laughed at Cater’s brief panic, “I’m joking. Yeah I got it, and my soap.”

“The one I like?” 

“Yeah.”

“Perfume? Cologne? Fragrance Spray?”

“Ima use yours.”

Cater laughed.

“What?” Mirai laughed, “I like the way it smells. It’s just so crisp, clean, and spicy, and the scent actually stays in your skin hours after.”

Cater chuckled. “Chargers? Phone? Laptop? Camera?”

“Packed away in my electronics bag, which you packed away.”

“Your medication?”

“Definitely. I also triple checked to make sure.”

“Um,” Cater said thoughtfully, “I think that’s it. Whatever we missed can probably be bought once we get there.”

Mirai nodded.

“Are you excited?” Cater asked, pressing kisses to Mirai’s neck.

“Yeah,” Mirai breathed, “I finally get to see this world. I finally get to leave campus.”

“And I can’t wait to show it to you.”

Mirai and Cater left the campus, and not after Mirai negotiated with Ace and Deuce to check in and maybe spend time with Grim for a small price. They made their way to the Mirror Chamber and Cater was happily waving to students in passing. Mirai could tell Cater was overjoyed, with the skip in his step and the big pearly smile on his face, he looked as if he would just float away.

Cater walked up the stairs to the Mirror and spoke, “Dark Mirror, take us to Shaft Airport.”

“Your wish is my command, Cater Diamond” the Dark Mirror bellowed back.

The Dark Mirror began to glow, the glass shimmering and sparkling. Suddenly the glass began to ripple, dark smoke billowing from the glass, spilling to the floor. 

“Ready?” Cater asked, sticking out his hand.

“Mn,” Mirai nodded, taking his hand. 

They stepped through the mirror and after a couple of seconds, sickening seconds to Mirai, they were standing outside an Airport. It was larger than what Mirai was used to.  

“This is enormous,” Mirai said in awe.

“It’s one of the biggest Airports in the Shaftlands,” Cater explained, “The biggest is basically a shopping mall. There’s even a hotel with a resort connected to it.”

“I don’t even think that counts as an Airport at that point.”

Cater laughed, “Yeah, probably not. Well, we got a bit of a walk, so let's get moving.”

Mirai nodded.

“After a quick photo op that is,” Cater winked. “Say cheese!”

Cater pulled Mirai in for a couple of selfies. They took one in front of the Airport sign, one inside, and of course, Cater couldn’t forget one including a kiss.

Cater held Mirai close as he led them to their gate. It was quite crowded and he really didn’t want to lose his lover in the rush. There were people bustling to and fro with suitcases and heavy bags, important looking people with briefcases, and busy parents with fussy babies and tired children. There were food stalls selling anything from cinnamon rolls to fast food, gift shops with tacky shirts with weird slogans to keychains with your name that you could never find on it. There were small shops that sold anything from toys to fixing smartphones, and restrooms on almost every corner. There was even a bookstore, a restaurant, and an indoor playground. Mirai couldn’t keep track of where they were going, so he just focused on keeping up with Cater’s long strides. 

“So, do you need anything?” Cater asked, as they made it to their gate. “We don’t board for another twenty minutes.”

“Uh, restroom,” Mirai said.

“Okay, I’ll watch our things and go check in our tickets. I’ll be over there at gate five, kay?”

Mirai nodded and headed off to the bathroom.

It wasn’t a long trip, and by the time Mirai was done, Cater was over in the seating area near the gate. Before making his way over, Mirai took a detour to one of the shops and bought a couple of bags of candy and some gum. As Mirai walked over, Cater perked up and smiled.

“Should’ve bought this at Sam’s. It would’ve been cheaper,” Mirai grumbled, shoving a handful of gummies in his mouth.

“Probably,” Cater laughed. 

“Oh, and I got you cinnamon flavored gum.”

“Thanks, Honey Bunny,” Cater sang, kissing Mirai on the head. 

“Pics first,” Cater sang.

Cater took a couple of selfies, then pocketed his phone. 

“For you,” Cater said, passing Mirai his ticket. 

“Thanks,” Mirai smiled.

Getting through security was an adventure all in itself. Mirai found it so much different than back at home. Instead of the metal detectors, x-rays and invasive pat downs, there were magic laser scanners of sorts, and all kinds of things he would only see in movies. Cater went first, and then asked some of the security and he was allowed to walk Mirai through it, since it was technically his first time traveling in this world. They allowed Cater to, and Mirai was so thankful for that. 

The two made some small talk, well, Cater did most of the talking as he shared some things about his childhood in the Shaftlands. Not long after, a chime sounded, signaling the pair it was almost time to board. Cater led the way until they got to a pair of open double doors that opened up to a super lavish waiting room. 

It took a second, but then it clicked. Mirai gasped,“Cater! You did not just buy us both first class tickets!”

“Uh,” Cater said, “#SorryNotSorry?”

“Cater! How, how, how much did all of it cost?!”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. I just want you to have fun.”

“But this has to be so expensive. I can’t just not worry about it. I have to pay you back somehow.”

“Are you, are you really upset about it?” Cater stammered

“I’m thankful really, but I feel horrible for making you spend so much on me,” Mirai sighed.

“You’re worth that much to me.” 

Mirai’s fight dissolved at those words. 

Mirai grumbled. “Why you gotta go and say all that cute stuff and expect me to stay mad?”

Cater laughed, “But I meant all of it.”

“You really are too good for me, ya know that?”

“I would say the same thing about you, Boo,” Cater smiled.

“Can I at least pay back half of the cost?”

“You can pay it back in kisses later, but now we gotta board,” Cater teased, taking Mirai's hands, and headed down to the jet bridge. 

Mirai had never ridden in First Class, and he thought he’d never get the chance to, but now? Mirai couldn’t believe it. It was so plush and lavish, and it all looked like it cost his life twelve times over. A flight attendant met them at the door and escorted them to their seats, seat 11E. It was right against the middle wall so they didn't have to worry about sharing with anyone else. 

Their seats were close to each other, divided by a small barrier, and both had doors that closed toward the aisle. There were two TVs against the wall, and two pull out trays along with a small built-in table. It was really nice, the burgundy accents the airline used really gave the whole thing a warm and cozy feel.

Another attendant came by to take their luggage and stored it above them as Mirai got in on one side and Cater the other. It was spacious. It had enough room for Mirai to stretch his legs out comfortably and to store his carry-on on the floor in front of him. 

“You like it?” Cater asked, leaning over the middle to kiss Mirai on the cheek.

“Yeah,” Mirai sighed dreamily, “It’s really nice.” 

“It totally is. I normally don’t fly often, and when I do, I deff don’t fly First Class.”

“You really didn’t have to do all this. We really could’ve just flown regularly.”

“But I wanted to make this special for you.”

“You spoil me too much,” Mirai pouted.

“Oh, Honey, if you think I’m spoiling you now? Just wait until we land,” Cater teased, kissing Mirai on the cheek once more.

“Cater,” Mirai whined, “If you keep this up, then I really won’t be able to pay you back.”

“And I don’t intend for you to.”

“Meanie.”

“Love you too,” Cater sang.

Mirai and Cater took multiple pictures before they took off. Mirai never liked the take off and landing, it always was the worst. It was bumpy and shaky, it made his ears pop, and it always caused some older woman to make a fuss, yelling and screaming that she was gonna die. But this time, it was much smoother. His ears still did pop, but that’s why he had bought some gum before they boarded, and this time, there was no screaming middle aged woman. 

Cater and Mirai choose something to watch while they pass the time, they ended up picking an old comedy about a maid that actually was a man in disguise. After some time, some flight attendants came by and poured them a complementary glass of sparking. Mirai panicked at that, but the flight attendant reassured him it was just grape juice. Following her was another flight attendant who came by with a snack tray and a menu. 

“Would you like to order now, or when it’s closer to meal time?” The flight attendant, Amy as her name tag read, asked in a soft voice.

Mirai realized Amy was the same woman who escorted them to their seats. Her uniform looked just like any other flight attendant’s uniform, except hers was in the Airline’s colors, burgundy and white. She was small and petite with red short hair styled in a bob cut that was curled toward her face at the bottom. She wore big pearl earrings and a pearl necklace, and on her small lips was a light shade of pink lipstick.

Mirai was flustered with it all, and he was pretty sure he looked like a fish out of water. He didn’t know planes even offered food besides stale crackers and water. But lucky for him, Cater had that covered as well. 

“We’ll order now and get it out of the way. Thanks,” Cater said with a smile.

“Great! I'll be back in a bit,” Amy said, passing over their menus and walking off. 

“Sorry,” Mirai muttered, taking a deep breath.

“Don’t sweat it, Buttercup,” Cater said dismissively. “You’re not used to this, it's okay.”

Mirai looked over the menu and there was so much he never knew could be served on a plane. Mushroom Risotto? Pan Seared Scallops in brown butter? Filet Mignon? Lobster Cakes? Clam Spaghetti with Braised greens? It was too much to even comprehend. 

“Did you choose anything yet?” Cater asked giddily, “Although I wanna try the Clams, I’m prolly gonna go with the Filet Mignon.”

“Why not? You afraid you might not like it?” Mirai asked.

“Worse.”

“Stomach ache? Food poisoning?”

“No silly. I won’t be able to kiss you.”

Mirai’s mouth fell open at his reasoning, and Cater laughed at his turmoil. Mirai flushed at that, pouting. 

“Well it’s true. What kind of lover would I be to eat some Clams if my positively adorable boyfriend is allergic to seafood?”

“Cater,” Mirai whined, now flushing at the compliment.

“And that’s true too.”

“Bastard.”

“Love you too, now what did you choose?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m just gonna have the chicken orzo soup and a salad. Don’t think I can stomach anything heavier.”

“Feeling sick, Baby?” Cater asked, concerned.

“Nah,” Mirai said, shaking his head, “It’s just in case I get sick later. That way I have nothing too heavy in my stomach.”

“Oh, okay, that’s good.”

Later, the flight attendant came back and took their orders and took their menus, and Cater grabbed a bag of chips as she walked by. Mirai wondered how Grim was doing, he hoped he wasn’t lonely or sad. He’d have to call him when they landed. He just hoped Ace and Deuce kept their end of the bargain and actually stayed with him.

“So what’s the Shaftlands like?” Mirai asked, shoving a couple of gummy worms in his mouth.

“I don’t know how to describe it. It’s so vast, like nowhere you go is the same,” Cater said thoughtfully.

“I think I get it,” Mirai said, “Back home, that’s what America is like. It’s one country with fifty different states in it, all of them are different, nothing is the same.”

“Sounds kinda confusing.”

“Not really. It’s like having fifty different houses with their own rules and families in one neighborhood.”

“I guess that’s easier when you look at it that way.”

“What’s it like where we’re going?” Mirai asked.

“I don’t wanna give too much away, but it’s a big city. Skyscrapers, busy streets, subways, and a lot to do,” Cater said excitedly.

“Cool. I grew up in a big city, so I think I can get the feel.” 

Cater’s phone chimed and he instantly perked up. “It’s my dad! He wants to know how things are going,” Cater laughed.

Cater eagerly messaged his father back and Mirai smiled at Cater’s reaction. Mirai knew of Cater’s rocky relationship with his mother, so he was glad his and his father’s were different, and far better. Mirai wondered what the man was like. Was he nice? Overly nice? Or was he really strict and reserved? He wondered what he looked like? Did he look like Cater or was it his mother that Cater looked like? And Mirai definitely hoped Cater’s father was nothing like his own father. 

But Mirai’s biggest question was, would he accept Mirai? Honestly, Mirai was kicking himself for not thinking of that before. What if Cater’s father didn’t like him? What if he didn’t like the fact that his son was dating a man. I mean, his father had to have known who he was since he was the one who suggested all of this, but what if Cater’s father just wanted to bring Mirai down in person? What if he just wanted to scorn their relationship face to face with the both of them there? It was still a little unnerving even after all of this, that there was the possibility that Cater’s father may just not like Mirai as a person. 

“What’s the matter, Babydoll?” Cater asked, reaching over to squish Mirai’s cheek into his own, “Sad I’m not paying attention to you?”

“No,” Mirai huffed, “just thinking.”

“Mark for your thoughts?”

“Nervous, I guess. Wh-What if he doesn’t like me?”

“Aw, Mi-Mi! I’m touched that you’re giving this so much thought,” Cater gushed.

“Cater, I’m serious. What if he just doesn’t like me?”

“So am I. But he will. Ever since I told him about you, he hasn’t shut about you. All he asks when he gets to meet my new boyfriend? And I may have talked you up last time we spoke.”

“But what if he likes me on paper, but when we finally meet, he finds that he just doesn’t like me? Like, what if he doesn't like my hair? Or my tattoos and piercings? What if he finds my voice or laugh annoying? What if he finds me creepy?” Mirai rambled.

“Then he just won’t,” Cater said as if this wasn’t currently eating away at Mirai.

“Cater?!” Mirai called, incredulously.

“What? If he doesn’t like you, which I doubt, then that’s his problem. But that doesn’t mean I won’t love you any less.”

“I-I-I just, I just,” Mirai stammered before sighing in defeat, “I just don’t want to mess up. I don’t wanna be the thing that tears apart your relationship with your family. Like my Mother’s.”

“Your Mother?” Cater asked, straightening up at the new tidbit of information. 

“My mother’s family didn’t like my father, saying my mother was blinded by love, and she was, it caused my family to distance themselves from me and my mother. My father showed his true colors after their marriage, and especially after my birth, the bastard,” Mirai bit out bitterly, “and when she turned to them for help, they left us. After her death, and his imprisonment, I was alone.” Mirai took a shaky breath, swallowing his nerves to continue. “I don’t want you to ruin your relationship with your father, so I’m afraid,” Mirai whispered. 

Cater pulled Mirai toward him, cupping his cheeks to kiss him, “I’m sorry. I was trying to calm you down a bit, I didn’t mean to belittle you. But it’s going to be okay, I promise. I wouldn’t have suggested this if I felt things would go horribly. He’ll love you, I promise.”

Mirai nodded.

“We’ll be fine,” Cater said, littering Mirai’s face and lips with kisses. 

Cater pulled Mirai closer to kiss him firmly on the lips, and Mirai sighed, relaxing into the kiss. Tilting his head to press harder into him, Mirai kissed Cater harder. Cater grunted softly, licking softly at the seam of Mirai’s lips, and just when Mirai went to let him in, there was a soft knocking sound, accompanied by a soft voice clearing their throat. The couple flew apart, both looking guilty and thoroughly embarrassed as they spotted Amy standing by Mirai’s door with a food cart.

“Dinner,” Amy said with a knowing smile.

Mirai didn’t know what to say or do, face burning with mortification. Mirai seriously hoped somehow he would be sucked out of the plane and never seen again. 

“I’m so sorry,” Cater apologized, face flushed a deep rosy red. 

“It’s okay,” Amy said with a smile. “Can’t tell you how many times I’ve been there with my partner, but then again, maybe we shouldn't have been playing kissy face on the job, even if we were on break.”

Cater made a strangled noise before falling into a fit of laughter. Mirai chuckled as well, but he was still feeling the burning shame. 

“Mind if I ask if they're here now?” Cater asked after his laughter subsided. 

“She’s the one next to the phone,” Amy said, pointing discreetly at the other end of the plan, as she placed Mirai food down on the table in front of him.

Mirai and Cater looked to where she was pointing. Over near the phone was a really tall woman with long black hair and ruby red lipstick. Her uniform was the same as Amy’s, but somehow she looked really mature in hers, while Amy looked cute.

“Aw, she’s pretty. You two make a great couple,” Cater gushed.

“T-Thanks,” Amy stuttered, flushing. “You two make a great couple as well.”

“TYSM,” Cater winked.

Amy made her way over to Cater and placed the tray on his table, removing the lid. 

“Careful, it’s really hot,” Amy said.

“Thank you,” Cater said.

“You're welcome and enjoy.”

The food was great, it was hot and flavorful, and Amy’s partner, Willow, came by and refilled their glasses with sparking. Mirai enjoyed his soup. It was light but still full of flavor and filling. Cater loved his Filet Mignon and tried to feed Mirai a piece, which he shook his head, vehemently declining. Now fully fed and comfortable, all they had to do was wait to land.

[luvwich]

wip whenever

tagged by @merge-conflict @wistereia @ghostoffuturespast recently for a WIP whenevs~

i've been noodlin on a new fic (a sequel!) it'll be a while before i start posting it on ao3 as i'm still zeroing in on the broader plot, but for now i'm dicking around writing scenes like this one~

The candelabra's dancing flames hurled their light against the wall of the cramped booth. The penitent raised his head to regard his own shadow and, beyond it, the unseen face of salvation's ambassador.

“Forgive me, Father, for I’ve sinned.” Memories marched up the back of his neck, peeking ‘round dark neural corners, as he took to the confessional’s claustrophobic embrace. “Now, I dunno how you Valentinos do this confessin’ shit, but it was pretty laid-back at the church I used to go to in Watson.”

The priest, so far as he could tell through the screen, could have been any old Watson priest. “Proceed with your confession in the ways you’ve been taught, my son,” the man said.

“Well see, Father, it’s been…” Calendar pages fluttered through his mind; a counter spun its faces around digits zero through nine, sped up, faltered, and crashed. “…five thousand days or somethin’ since my last confession. You got a clear schedule this evening?”

“The Lord receives one of His flock who’s been astray for years with no less love and mercy than the others. For you, yes, I have time.”

“Okay, let’s just kick it off then, I guess. I’ve killed a few dozen people.” More fuzzy arithmetic floated behind his eyes in the cedar-scented darkness. “Maybe more’n a few dozen. Most of ‘em had it coming, though.”

The priest’s robes rustled from the other side of the grille. “That is for the Lord to judge only, my child.”

“Fine, fine, let him have it, let him have it. So, let’s see. I’ve drank to excess. And I’ve been bangin’ chicks left and right, if that’s still something God cares about. Haven’t really been keepin’ up to date on the rules.”

“God’s rules do not change with the times. They are the one thing that does not change. Please continue.”

The penitent drew a breath. It brought to him wafts of incense, resinous and heady, which attempted to mask aromas of less divine provenance: petrol, iron, sweet rotting garbage from the adjoining alley. He closed his eyes and traversed that dust-packed road of memory, seeking the ledger of his sins, his larks; all those moments of terrific damnation on which he’d built his name.

“Okay,” he said, “So. Since my last confession, I fingerbanged Mariah Sawyer under the bleachers. And I sucked face with Richie Greenwood — it was for a dare, but, uh, I also liked it. Does God still care about the homo stuff, too? Should I start another list just for that?”

The breaths and rustles from the other chamber of the booth were beginning to lose their patient cadence, and he thought he could make out the priest rubbing his forehead in silhouette. The answer came through lightly gritted teeth: “No, we can just fold the ‘homo stuff’ in all with the rest of it."

“Sure. Deal. Uh, I railed Kai Prestonson, and then I cheated on her with her older sister. That was a fun summer. Now, I’m gonna have some trouble rememberin' names after this point, so — yeah, let’s just round it up to like a hundred of this kinda thing.” He paused. “Do blowjobs count?”

“Yes. They are sodomy, in fact.”

He whistled. “Shit. Gonna be saying Hail Marys til my fuckin’ hair goes grey, then. Okay, add a couple hundred sodomies to my tab.”

“Alright. Continue.”

“And then I was railin’ Christine Markov for a while. So let’s say that’s another hundred or so railings and.. well, not as much sodomy as I’d prefer, if I’m bein’ honest. Never cheated on her, but she thought I did. And lately I’ve been doing absolute shitloads of premarital railin' with Vania Perez.” He paused, listening carefully for any reaction. “Been gettin’ a little sodomy in with her, too,” he added.

A holy silence emanated from the fragrant wood of the screen that divided the mercenary from the man of God. The priest’s voice was measured when he spoke again.

“You have sinned, it is true. Yet the mercy of our Lord is a jealous flame which cannot be extinguished. If your heart is repentant in the face of all you have done, He will welcome you in His heavenly house in the next life.”

“Killer. Thanks.”

“I'm not finished,” the priest grumbled.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Say three 'Our Fathers', three 'Hail Marys', and three 'Glory Bes.' Pray on this, reflect on the grace that's been given to you today, and carry your repentance forward into noble deeds.”

“Nova. Sure. That first part I can do.”

“Is there anything else on which you seek my counsel?”

Outside the booth, an altar boy whose face consisted of more chrome and ink than bare flesh began pacing fitfully.

“So,” the confessor ventured, “that last sin I mentioned. Vania Perez. Do you know her?”

The priestly silence prickled. “My child, I have given the sacrament here in Heywood for many years. I have heard confessions from a dozen Vanias Perez. Can you be more specific?”

“She’s about five foot one, smokin’ hot, curly hair.”

The priest sighed. “That narrows it down to five or six, my son.”

“Okay, well, she’s also got jade green Kiroshis, a hoity-toity accent, and a cuerpazo that could make a deacon slam his head through a fuckin’ stained glass portrait of the Santa Maria.”

The altar boy’s pacing continued.

“Ring any bells?”

Fifteen seconds and as many shuffles of spit-shined shoes trudged on before the priest answered: “Ah. Yes. That Vania Perez.”

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

So how are you gonna start the next arc like this?

//I knew I was going to get upset about it when the change was implemented, and as you can see by my toxic af messages previously, I was right.

//I've taken some time to think about it since then, and I need to just make a couple of statements.

//The ask box will remain open, but this will probably be the last you hear of me for a while until the day I announced I would start posting the next chapter of the story.

//As for what's going on, in the face of this new editor with it's 30 image limit completely fucking over my typical style and sequence of posts (for asks it's not a big deal, but for story posts and especially long answers, it's a problem to my entire setup, and as you can imagine, I am not ok with that) I have taken some time to come up with a plan going forward.

//First and foremost, I'm not going to stop writing just because the designers of this website lost 90 braincells as well as the nerves in their eyes and ears. As stupid as these changes are, I'm fully aware that there's nothing I can do about them, and I'm not going to stop this blog's progression, or stop answering asks just because of these difficulties.

//In the past, when these changes happened, I overreacted and complained like a child. I apologize for those instances, and I've worked towards bettering myself. That doesn't mean I can't still take issues with these changes, because they are stupid, but don't let my misdirections as a human being affect your enjoyment of my writing. I will keep this blog going.

//Right now, I have come to a few solutions. Initially, I said I would move the story posts at least, to a different website. However, I retract that statement, because doing so would require my readers to sign up and create new accounts on totally different websites that they might not use for anything else.

//The CURRENT plan is that there are a variety of mods available on the internet that allows you to use the old Tumblr editor. If I can find one that bypasses the limit, I'll be golden.

//Failing that, as much as it sucks to think about, my only remaining option is to suck it up and use the new editor. As for the image limit, it may result in me having to split the story up into multiple different posts a day to get the full chapter done.

//The reason why I wished to avoid it is because with Tumblr's horrible navigation system, made WORSE by the current changes, is that it'll be hard to order all the posts together. I could repost my own posts to continue, but that also clutters the blog with meaningless posts, so I'm hoping to avoid it. Plus, it's only a matter of time before reblogs get hit with the "SHIT CHANGE" laser, so it's not a long-lasting solution.

//To make it a bit easier, if I do resort to this, I will be posting the link to the next part of each chapter in links at the bottom of each post. I will also be adding a #story tag on these posts to make them easier to find. I should have incorporated this a long time ago, but my slow dumb ass didn't think it was necessary.

//With all that said, if anyone has links to any useful mods, or any alternative solutions I could use, I am more than open to suggestions. So if you could leave those in either DM's or in the ask box, I would appreciate it. Assuming they work, you would LITERALLY be saving my life.

//And potentially the lives of other blogs like this one who are suffering because of this bullshit. I'll definitely be sure to share your advice to whoever may need it, like Aliza or Bubbles.

//Ultimately, there's no great solution to this, but this is the unfortunate position that Tumblr has put us in. And as much as I hate it, all I can do is take my licks and keep going.

//I want to take this moment to thank you guys for being such a supportive and kind audience. People like you are a dime a dozen, and I hope to continue to get your support for the foreseeable future.

//This story isn't finished yet.

-Mod

[aprillikesthings]

Now that I've spent a good day thinking about how hot it is when Catra is a terrible person corrupted by setting off a portal, I'm ready to go back to (re)watching her try to be Good lolol

well okay more than one day.

I mean I literally spent the last four? five? days listening to songs off The Downward Spiral over and over while thinking about Catra and practicing my makeup for my Catra cosplay and ordering more of the things I need for it; like literally just staring off into space at work between phone calls thinking about Catra

I'm totally a well-adjusted middle-aged adult, thanks for asking!

Shit where did I even leave off

Oh right

SO HEY if you're new here, I've been rewatching all of the 2018 She-Ra, and I started doing it for fic-writing reasons but predictably I have become deeply obsessed. Anyway these posts sometimes have a lot of asides and commentary and references to other stuff and dumb jokes among a ton of screenshots, also (and it feels odd saying it this close to the end of the show) it's a RE-watch, so there's often spoilers for later bits of the story, also I keep trying NOT to just describe the entire plots of the episodes but I keep failing lol

s5 ep7 Perils of Peekablue

Adora's trying to become She-Ra (without an immanent threat) and then Bow and Glimmer distract her, and then the door opens on Catra and

I literally did a YES YES YESSSS AHAHAH out loud bc this is the point at which Catra just starts OPENLY FLIRTING, as opposed to just uhhhh flirtatiously taunting I suppose lol

like you're SITTING IN HER LAP

Also while rewinding it to watch again I paused it at the most hilarious moment

look at Catra's FACE

help I can't stop laughing but also look at Bow's expression

Glimmer: omg I'm gonna get to see my dad Catra: *gets up and leaves*

But also I make this face when a cat leaves my lap before I wanted them to:

Anyway they're a day out from arriving at Etheria

Adora's trying so hard

BACK ON ETHERIA

YAY IT'S THIS ONE

the intro finally changed!! I can't get a good screenshot but now when Catra (with short hair) and Adora (in She-Ra's new get-up) are fighting they stop much faster and they're both smiling omgggg

and there she is!! with everyone else!!

okay I'm going to take way less screenshots etc of the underwater speakeasy thing because let's be honest: that part of the plot isn't what I'm here for lol

But yeah they're going to the speakeasy thing to get Prince Peekablue who can see to the edges of the galaxy and can maybe tell them where Adora and the others are because they don't know what happened

Oh also Spinarella is chipped and Netossa is realizing something is off/weird about her but doesn't know what

Oh hey! You used to work for Huntara in the Crimson Wastes

Sea Hawk has pissed off approximately half the people in the room it seems (by lighting their ships on fire at some point)

Scorpia and Perfuma are the cutest and I can absolutely see how they end up together

In my fic I originally had Adora talking to some kind of therapist but I wasn't sure they existed on Etheria, and last week I edited that bit so Adora is talking to these two (which makes the conversation more fun AND easier to write anyway)

Perfuma: "Scorpia. You should do things not because you're good at them, but because they make you happy." THAT IS ONE OF MY LIFE PHILOSOPHIES thank you Perfuma you're 100% correct and I tell people this ALL THE TIME

Mermista: "I might've set their boat on fire. Just to see what it felt like."

Sea Hawk:

lolol

YESSSS I love this scene

Perfuma makes a flower, throws it to Scorpia as she sings, and she blushes and tucks it into her hair, these two are so sweet and cute

oh god I forgot that when "Prince Peekablue" get stung by Scorpia they go through the last half-dozen shapeshifts before turning into a (passed-out) Double Trouble.

lolol instead of "cash cow" it's an insult to poor Catra

Anyway they have the info the Rebellion wanted!

Horde Prime is pissed and has blockaded the planet, also half the people at the speakeasy were chipped....and now so is Mermista, though nobody realizes that yet

But also the phrasing of "She-ra stole his little kitten away" is just amazing

But also the last they heard, Adora and Bow and Entrapta had left to rescue Glimmer, do they think Double Trouble is talking about Glimmer here or what

(which. they did. they just also went back for Catra.)

Netossa realizes her wife (and most of the people around them) are chipped D:

And a chipped Mermista is gonna drown them all

oh shit Micah is also chipped

Entrapta gets the comms working!

"The Rebellion's been compromised! Horde Prime has them! We lost, I'm so sorry! We lost them!" --and then the comms go to static

AND CREDITS!