#and idk i’m also just dressing better because i want to and feel confident doing so and im way less stressed about. just about everything

[d3l3t3d-deactivated]

i’ve always been bad about getting photos of myself but i’ve been making a real effort to document my recovery from top surgery, no rhyme or reason to when i take photos it’s just kind of when i remember, but i was just looking back at everything and the way i glowed up so hard in so many ways in the span of a few months is kind of impressive

[josendlessmonolouge]

hey so I just binged your head cannons and how does it feel to be right all the time? I was wondering what you would think about body/weight insecurities with the underworld kids? Like Hazel grew up in the 30s when black girls were the opposite of the beauty standard and I imagine her having complicated feelings about her appearance caused by never feeling attractive growing up. And going into the legion they do intense exercises so she probably put on a bunch of muscle weight after the first few months, and on a short girl like her that can look pretty stocky (totally not projecting rn). So she’s prob never thought about herself as very feminine or beautiful. Do think dating Frank and being desired would help her recover from that and gain confidence?

And with Nico he’s always been very skinny especially after the jar incident. I feel like people around camp would say insensitive things about him looking skeletal or ghastly as a joke but he would actually be very hurt by it. Like internalized homophobia would already make him feel unmasculine and comments like those would be like salt in the wound. Also his eating habits described in the book are definitely disordered in some way.

sorry this ended up way longer than I planned but would love to hear your opinion

Omg thank you for the ask and the spam likes I’m happy you enjoy my head-canons :>> So first Hazel;

I struggle a lot with body dysmorphia myself. The Hazel idea is something I hadn’t really thought about much but now that you put it in my head. I think definitely makes sense and I love it. I think her and Frank probably both have a lot of issues with their physical appearances and how they’ve changed within the events of the books and starting off with bad self image. Within or having to do with the events of the book being Him losing a bunch of weight and gaining muscle then putting weight back on after the blessing of mars, and her like you said putting on more muscle.

my BD/ED was actually the down fall of my first relationship so I don’t think just feeling desired could really fix it , however I think that being with frank would probably improve her self image. I think Frank is probably pretty body neutral or working hard at being body neutral for himself and encourages her to do the same. I do think that his adoration of her would probably also help some. He’s a wonderful hype man and a blushing mess whenever she gets dressed up cute so she can’t help but feel a little better about herself. I think they’re both probably working on themselves and building each other up when it comes to body image.

Nico ooh I’ve got a lot of feelings on him bc I’ve chatted with my friends about it and you said exactly what I’ve been saying about how it probably makes him feel emasculated since he’s a young gay man who’s constantly surrounded by these ultra masculine friends and probably feels like less than in some ways. I feel for some reason that he has some arfid symptoms because most modern foods are just different than he used to and just he can’t will himself to eat most things. He also just gives the energy off even when he was in the 40s he was pretty picky since his family was wealthy. (Idk that he canonically bought McDonald’s to raise the dead that kid cries if he tries to eat a French fry) so it’s extremely hard for him to gain the weight back after the jar incident. I also think He knows he should reasonable work at gaining weight but he also just wants to take up as little space as possible literally and figuratively so it’s a constant mental bottle of “I’m sick and getting sicker, will is worried about me I need to eat, but also food is icky and I really don’t want to see the number on the scale go up even though I know I’ll look and feel better”

I could go on for a long while about this actually lol

[orezby]

Sage from High Guardian Spice (it’s my new obsession)

Here you can compare how much i changed her design.

Well i just didn’t change her outfit like that, but i wanted it to match the personnality i have come up with.

Most reviews and critics i saw lways came with the same idea : Sage is the worst character or at least the least liked one.

Well, i thought it was sad since she was one of the main protagonist. And she reminds me a lot at the character i really wanted to be as a child (in terms of powers and outfit). Not just her but also many of the characters in HGS... That must be why i like the show haha.

Anyway.

I thought while eating dinner with my family "what if Sage was just trying to show a confident facade but in reality she is just constantly freaking out about anything that’s happening ?” then the idea was born.

What if...Sage was really fond about Fashion ?

Noo don’t let leave stay pls :(

What i mean by that is..

She feels awful and disfusted by herself inside. Because her family wished to have a boy because for some reasons (i’m still trying why haha...sorry). So at first she dressed pretty and used make up to show her parents that they didn’t make the wrong choice. As the times goes by, she continues even though in her mind, it’s not to please her parents anymore, it’s to feel better. Because she is craving for people’s compliments, even though she doesn’t feel happy doing so. What she truly wants is to be herself. What she truly wants is to feel because she wants to. In others terms : freedom.

Ahh that girl is messy in the head. But i really like that kind of story in movies ! Why ? Cuz i’m a bit messy in the head too.

Ah i also have ideas for her interactions with Rosemary. And maybe her character development. Hihihi i want to share all of it here, i feel really excited. Many ideas but just two hands and one head. Plus i’m stupid and really not good in consistency. Or at least i try to be.

Idk if i was clear about Sage’s personality. In my head it’s totally clear but i know how bad i am at explication. Even so, i think she really gives of the vibe of this song :

Or

If i like this artist ? Yes. If i am a real fan of this artist ? No.

I just listen to different genres and- anyway i’m out of context.

Byee. (Nobody gonna read all that T_T)

[caram3lla]

I just couldnt merge the two series so I made separate ones. To be fair, I haven’t really read 4koa so my opinion may be misguided but whatever (and I also haven’t watched 7ds in a while also, so…) PLEASE hear me out anyway😭🙏

I don’t have much to say about favorite character, I’m literally in love with Howzer and I’ve never loved a character as much as him. for Chion, he’s just an asshole and that’s enough for me. He has a lot of potential as a character and I’m really excited for him in the series, I would not be his friend IRL though because he would literally be the worst person to be around. And you know what, everyone can hate him but I will always appreciate him😚💖Gilthunder, Diane and Donny are runner ups for fav character!

To be honest, I don’t TOTALLY dislike Ban but…idk. I don’t like him very much, but not only for the very obvious Elaine related reasons. Something he did at the beginning of 7ds kinda stuck with me, when he tried to kill Meliodas to get Elaine back. I guess it’s supposed to be, like, heartbreaking that he wants his woman back so bad he’d kill his best friend???? Mid battle???? Like girl this is not about you rn😭 Idk if my friend tried to kill me to get her boyfriend back, I think I’d have to kill her idk that’s just me😭 and I’m really sorry to the Ban fans because I know he’s a good character and I get that he becomes a better friend later, that scene just stuck with me though

I feel like this might not be a super unpopular opinion but I didn’t really like Escanor at first. Ig I just didn’t really care about him. I like his night time self, he’s very sweet and dorky. The thing I like about SUPER confident and cocky characters is them getting taken down a notch, which he was, twice, so it’s fine. For Tristan, I’m so sorry but I really didn’t care for him at all😭 Before I read most of the scenes with him in it, I thought he was SOOOO bland and boring. Like, he was just nice, and loved, and that’s it. He seems like a character that thinks everything is his fault, which isnt a problem with him or his character, I just don’t really like characters like that. I like that he looks more like Elizabeth, I think that’s nice. Anyway I like him now and I think he’s more complex than I thought before!

I dislike Guinevere for the obvious reasons that everyone hates her for so I don’t have much to say😭I guess to cover the least favorite ship category, I don’t like her and Lancelot together and that one scene was super weird. I like her design tbh, she’s super cute, but yeah…

I honestly don’t dislike Veronica, I just like her design more than her herself😭She’s super caring and sweet, and loyal, just very abrasive sometimes. When she interacts with people and her family especially, you can tell that she really cares, even if she’s kinda mean. Anyway I love da bob and her dress, it’s very cute😌 on the flip side, I like Tioreh herself WAY more than her design. I honestly cannot pin down what I don’t like about her design, I just really really don’t like it😭 I’m sorryyyyyy

For the fav ships, I don’t have too much explaining to do (I’m gonna keep saying that and I’m lying every single time). For Gilthunder x Howzer, I just really love the friends to lovers trope. Although a One-sided! Howzer x Gilthunder is probably more realistic. Anyway I love their friendship as it is :) To be honest I never liked rivals to lovers until this Chion x Donny phase I have going on right now, I have no explanation for this I just think they’re cute.

Elizabeth is super sweet, and honestly I don’t mind her voice, she is such a caring friend. Jade is just like, the most normal character I think ever so I would be his friends irl, probably😭

I would NOT be friends with Gowther, I feel like he would expose me so often, and like, one of my biggest fears is that someone is reading my mind, so he’s literally my nightmare, and I don’t wanna know him😭

Anyway I’m done yapping now, thank you for reading this if your at this point lol

[aleeyenn]

Hi i just wanted to say I love your works and profile sm, I love how you represent fireafy and coinpin and each of their respective characters, and I especially love how you represent Coiny. I feel like from what I've seen people don't see how Coiny really is, they usually just reduce him to a jerk or a firey slapper. But he's so much more and so different from that lke in canon he's so driven and serious but then fun and chill when needed, and how he can be fun and silly but then empathetic and sweet when given. and I feel like the way you represent him is so accurate and takes evey aspect of him in canon as well as headcanons that just FIT HIM SO WELL and idk it just makes me so happy. I also LOVE your headcanon of him being able to pull both masculinity and femininity, I love it so much it emulates the essence of him so well so be so comfortable in himself and not have a shred of toxic masculinity or anything like that. And I love how you make him adore pin like YES HE ADORE AND LOVES and does whatever pin wants it just makes me so happy esp with how gorgeous she is and as someone who is also plus sized and having issues with self image seeing coiny adore pin like that makes me believe in myself more idk how to explain it but YEA hahah just really like how you depict his charcater as a whole

I also love all your designs for every character

But ye I just want to say that hahah

i saw this when it was sent yesterday and i was in school and i was SOOO HAPPY i was telling all my friends with tears in my eyes and squealing over how sweet of a message i received LIKE I HAD TO FORCE MYSELF NOT TO CRY AND I KEPT GETTING UP AND PACING AAHH😭😭😭 i have waited for when i have free time where i’m not super tired to respond better than i would tired But! THANK YOU SOSOSOSO MUCH!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME!!! YOU REALLY DONT!!! thank you thank you so much!!! i’ve been struggling with forming my thoughts and feelings into words recently so forgive me if this is a messy reply but AHH!!!

coiny is one of my favorite characters he’s sooOOO FUNNY AND CHARMING! i love expressing his silly side and how dumb he is sometimes so i do it in most of my work (because it’s lighthearted almost every time) and it makes me so happy to see him being so.. coiny! he is genuinely such an amazing character and the perfect balance of cool, kind, and idiotic(affectionately) he’s so nice and so compassionate and i appreciate that about him so much and I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU CAN ENJOY MY PORTRAYAL OF HIM BECAUSE HE IS SO AWESOME! I LOVE EVERY PART OF HIM!!! and you like my headcanons!!! i forget what kind of coiny headcanons i have represented on this account but YESSS!!! COINY PULLING OFF FEMININE CLOTHES IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT! he is SO proud of it. he will put on a pink frilly dress and walk with confidence and feel as pretty as can be! i’ve been meaning to draw him in a dress for months actually (i have so much i want to draw all the time but i’m either really busy or i have zero motivation But this message gave me the motivation to actually try soon KEEP AN EYE OUT! maybe ill draw pin and coiny with their outfits swapped 🤫) he is one of the most positive and caring contestants on bfdi and he makes me so happy!!! he can wear both girly clothes and masculine clothes HE CAN WEAR WHATEVER HE WANTS and he will look TOTALLY AWESOME IN IT! and OMFGGG DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW MUCH HE LOVES PINNN SHE IS HIS WHOLE WORLD AND COINY IS HERS AS WELL! coiny will do anything for her he loves her so bad… AND!!! AHHHH!!!! I AM SO SO SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY MY PIN HUMANIZATION MAKES YOU FEEL THAT WAY!!! BRINGING PEOPLE SELF-CONFIDENCE AND EMPOWERMENT THROUGH MY DESIGNS AND REPRESENTATION IS MY ABSOLUTE GOAL WITH WHAT I DO!!! it seriously means everything to me that i’ve Actually been able to achieve that and help people with how they feel about themselves indirectly. my eyes are watering while typing this ARGHH i really just want everyone to know how beautiful they are no matter what their size or weight or height or color or LITERALLY ANYTHING is. and as someone who also struggles with their self-image/esteem it means even More to me because i know how it feels!!! seeing yourself in a design of your favorite character or a character you enjoy in general feels SO GOOD so i strive to do that as much as i can. body diversity and diversity in all aspects is incredibly important to me and i want to sprinkle it everywhere in whatever i do!!! everyone is so beautiful and different and i think that is a blessing!!! whoever is reading this is beautiful and whoever in the WORLD is too just how they are now!!! EVERYONE IS GORGEOUS!!! it may take a while to feel it and that’s okay but just know that you are!!!

in short i am happy i was able to touch your heart and make you smile and give you at least a little bit more confidence in yourself. you are amazing and so kind for sharing this all with me!!! i think you can tell now how much this did for me by how much i wrote (SORRY ITS HUGE BLOCKS OF TEXT) and i can’t thank you enough for liking my work from characterization to design. every time i get a message like this i will not stop thinking about it and i hold it close to me every time i draw Like those other messages about my pin gijinka from months back I STILL GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER. i’m really glad i can make you feel that way and i hope i have made many others feel the same way too. THANK YOU!!!💖💖💖🫶🫶🫶

[pokeberry5]

hiii i love your art, you draw everyone so pretty!!! i was wondering, do you have any fem tim headcanons or thoughts? :)) also, and ignore me if you're not feeling it, but would you ever want to draw fem kon? thank you and i hope you have a great day!!!!!

thank you!! i hope you have a great day too!

i think my favorite interpretation of fem tim is @misspickman's by any other name would smell as sweet, i.e. not chill about it at all and has her gender wrapped up in all the other roles she feels she needs to fill, and i especially like this in contrast with an older femme tim who is very confident in who she is and how she wants to present (see also: hairline fracture).

this got kinda long so i’m gonna put the rest of it under the cut:

you didn't ask exactly this but my gender headcanons for tim are kinda all over the place so: i'm also fond of a transmasc tim who just kinda Is, and a tim who doesn't really care but is willing to be/present as whatever is most useful to him in any given situation, for better or for worse (this is sorta why i tend to exclusively use he/him pronouns for him).

so i guess my gender headcanons for him tend to tie in with the headcanon that the longer he stays as robin, the more he curates the way he presents to people. i like the dynamic of who does and doesn’t have access to the person behind all that curation, and the people who knew tim when he started as robin having to watch that bright eyed kid get tucked behind more and more pragmatism (not that the empathy that made him robin ever goes away). (this is partly where i was coming from with the imposter syndrome art) (as examples, i like tim’s fronting in Into the Brighter Night by shoalsea and more innocuous versions of that habit in @silverwhittlingknife’s Two of Six)

so like, to tie this back to fem tim: is he dressing femme bc he wants to or because he knows he can and it’s what’s most useful to him to achieve his goals? does he even know? do the people around him know to ask?

(tim: i can be whatever you need me to be :) his family and friends, shaking him: but what do you want to be??)

i do wanna say that most of the time when i draw a femme tim, i really like reading through the various gender interpretations in the tags so!! please feel free to do with that what you'd like. is my tim flat chested bc he's femme but didn't want to deal with his tits? bc she's transfemme but doesnt feel the need to have tits? bc he's wearing a binder? i don't know! it's up to you :)

also, fundamentally, a lot of it is just that i really like drawing femme styles and i really like tim 👍

(and thank you for the request! i do have thoughts now about fem kon but idk when i’ll be able to get to drawing her bc i’ve got a lot of other thoughts percolating rn)

[hypergamiss]

Not an ask but I do need a pick me up. I’m 18, my parents kept me away from boys and now that I’m dating I feel like everyone is not serious and thinks I’m a just a hook up I’m on tinder I think that’s where people go to find boyfriends but idk. I think it’s stupid because I don’t present myself that way i dress modest I don’t cuss so i don’t understand why they just think im a hook up. If you have some pointers on what I should do differently that’d be amazing they don’t have to be older although I do think the guys at my college only want a hook up too…idc for money or should I? Should I be hypergamous I don’t think that possible for a dark skin woman like me coming from a upper middle class family I think it’s harder for me also to date older bc I think someone who’s 25 or older would want nothing to do with me who 18 rightfully so I’m not saying I’m not attracted to them but what value would I bring…. Ig I do need help ig the whole run down on dating. I think people only talk about what to do in relationships instead of giving advice on how to find such relationships how would we use the advice people give us if we don’t know where to find such men. Most men my age just want hook ups I mean I can’t blame them it’s college.

Thank you in advance sorry for being naive or depressing

Any guy will TRY to hook up regardless if you’re a classy lady or not. They will literally try to bang a hole in the wall if they could lol. Their testosterone is through the roof and driving them insane. They will have the audacity to say and do things that they will later regret because they’re young, and it still happens when they’re older but not as often since they learn self control. After reading your message I don’t get the feeling that you think your an “it girl.” I think you should focus on boosting your confidence up or these men will run you over. You have to be so confident that you don’t question yourself as much and run them over instead when they don’t meet your standards. If you want to care about money that’s completely up to you. Typically things will go a lot better when a man is financially stable but your age group is so young so that won’t be happening for a while. If you date this young you have to accept that a man won’t be able to treat you to really nice dates and gifts. They might even be asking you to split the bill if they ask you out. I think you need to prioritize the relationship that you have with yourself first and then secondly entertain the idea of going on dates and meeting guys. There are very few guys who are worth dating in college and you can’t really expect them to propose at that age either. The ones who are more likely to be loyal will be the nerds, the athletes will 9/10 not be loyal even if they’re in a relationship. Also, your skin color does not matter when trying to date up. Once you have your confidence up you attract the type of men you would want to date a lot more than actually finding them. It’s not always about looking it’s more about making yourself available and blocking out the ones you should ignore.

[whore-tm]

1) i swear i thought i was following this blog already😭?? 2) ok so im going to detract a little more the skam austin context bc frankly i don't rmbr much BUT i feel like the point zoya/the writers were trying to touch on was .

Well let's use makeup as an example: if we were to say 'everybody wear whatever makes you comfortable because ur doing it for urself!!!' (not a bad statement! i (largely) agree w it!) it would certainly empower some people make them comfortable when going out, like some people would feel like they were able to stop feeling like they had to wear make up at all, others would feel very confident to do rlly detailed looks in public, and another group would continue to wear make up all the time bc they don't feel comfortable in their own skin.

The problem w the 'everybody wear what You want!!' statement comes when some people from the large group refuse to acknowledge that the reason they feel like they have to wear makeup all the time is because society made them feel inferior without it specifically because the current society (heavily influenced by the patriarchy blah blah) decided women look better with fuller lips, their eyes look bigger/more attractive with eyeliner, red rosy cheeks makes them look younger etcetc you get the idea. SO basically lots of women for centuries did this to look beautiful which attracted men and yadda yadda ..........

SO BASICALLY in my opinion zoya's comment implying that the lipstick AustinNoora wore, the tight clothes she wore etc all may have been worn w the Intention of 'i’m doing this for myself! bc i feel good! not for men!' but that AustinNoora failed to recognize lipstick is popular for women bc they look more attractive to men bc it draws attention to the lips, tight clothes are attractive to men bc it shows off the body and leaves men wanting more/leaves them something to think abt etcetc....

w the comment of 'you Should wear loose clothes' etc i feel like zoya was saying 'if you really believed in the feminism you preach, you would recognize that some things women conventionally wear like make up did originate for the male gaze' not that she was actually telling her to dress a certain way...

SO ALL IN ALL my thoughts is wear whatever obviously but kinda do it consciously yk. like am i wearing makeup bc i like how it looks on me or am i wearing it bc i know men will flirt w me and i like when i have their attention (wearing makeup on a night out to get attention from men [assuming ur straight] isn't necessarily the problem, but if your Primary intention is that, regardless of whether or not you like the way u look in make up... that's a problem !)

IDK! if that made the most sense but that's my take on it ??? Also SOOOO sorry if i overexplained something u already knew 😭😭😭 i usually explain things to my younger siblings so i have to make sure to include even little details bc they don't know it LOL. this obviously isn't The Right Opinion but it's my read on what zoya was trying to say informed by my opinion.

(ALSO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG😭😭😭😭😭)

sfkjdslfjs dont worry!!!! all good!!! it's just a sideblog lmao

no no thank you actually for going into detail on this. that makes a lot of sense and i think i just didn't think the one step further but you explained it really well! i guess i was just thrown off by Zoya's wording cos it was just a bit... drastic lmao. "wear whatever obviously but kinda do it consciously" yeah she's asking whether AustinNoora actually does it for herself and not unconsciously does it for men.... that's obviously an important question

thank u for explaining 🧡🧡

[abigail]

I want to go out dressed cute but as soon as I step out of my house I feel like everyone is watching me and laughing at me so I just wear the same clothes boring clothes :(

!! honestly I think the best thing to do to ease yourself into changing that kind of mindset is slowly start changing parts of the outfit or adding to it to build your confidence,, like look at the style of clothing you want to wear and see if there’s any details you can add to your usual clothes, or the silhouette of them or anything alike..continue to do this and keep adding and soon enough you’ll have the full outfit and feel good out in it because like.. who cares if everyone is watching y’know? if you like the clothes, they make you feel good and you feel like yourself in them then who cares what people think !! strangers have asked me before in some of my outfits if I’m part of a play or something and I always laugh a little and try to see it as a weird compliment because I like my outfit, I feel good in it, and clearly it’s good enough to be on stage for theatre lol idk !

also there’s nothing wrong with ‘boring’ clothes !!! most of my clothes and outfits are kinda boring, like today I’ve just been wearing a t-shirt and long skirt because I didn’t feel like wearing anything elaborate and like.. it’s super comfy and cosy !! I’m not sure if any of this was helpful in anyway, sorry, but just.. try your hardest to not think about what others are thinking.. if you feel good in it and you feel like yourself then that’s what matters, I know it’s easier said than done but you’ve gotta try (hence me suggesting to ease yourself into building your confidence).. I always think about that post I saw on here ages ago that said ‘it’s only embarrassing if you’re embarrassed’, truly changed my mindset and I feel that could apply here, hmm, anyway I’m sorry I’m not more helpful with this.. and if it makes you feel any better it took me a long long time to feel comfortable going out dressed like victorian ghosts or cowboys casually everyday and like I said, I don’t even dress like that all the time !! sending you lots of love, take care <33

[thirddoctor]

There was so much going on that I’m not sure I can give an exhaustive review but here are some thoughts:

It was fun! It had a lot of energy and kept me invested the whole way through! Considering all the plot points it was juggling, I expected it to be way more of a mess, especially after what happened with Flux, so I was pleasantly surprised.

I thought Thirteen’s regeneration scene was sweet and very fitting for her character. In a version of the show where she’d had better writing throughout her run I’m sure it would’ve made me emotional.

Seeing Ace and Tegan was fun, plus the other companions at the end, especially Ian. William Russell has been long overdue for a return to the show, and I’m glad he finally got one, however small.

Also nice to see most of the surviving Doctors back. I went wild when Paul McGann showed up because I’d kinda only been expecting Peter, Colin, and Sylvester.

Jo Martin of course always kills it in the role and I wish we could’ve had her as a full time Doctor.

Not sure why Vinder was there but I like the character so I can’t object too much. I guess we can finally lay the “Vinder and Bel are the Doctor’s parents” theory to rest, thank goodness.

Also not sure why they brought Ashad back if they weren’t going to do anything interesting with him. He was a cool villain! Probably the best in the era! I wish they hadn’t killed him off so unceremoniously in S12. I don’t care about boring clone!Ashad who’s just acting as the Master’s henchman.

As for the Master himself, I’m not sure I can begin to articulate all my thoughts - some are positive, some are negative. His plan was very convoluted and I still don’t understand parts of it. Also I don’t think they say why he actually wants to steal the Doctor’s body (besides as a means of killing her and ruining her reputation). I can make some obvious assumptions (for example, he wants her potentially unlimited regenerations, he feels inferior to her because of the Timeless Child stuff and wants to be her, etc.) but I don’t think any of that is ever hinted at.

Seeing him in Jodie’s costume was fun though.

Maybe I’m simply a killjoy but I thought a lot of the references were cringe. idk I’ve just had my full of that kind of thing lately from all the major franchises so hearing the Master repeat the “I always dress for the occasion” line or make a Master’s Dalek Plan joke (that everyone including Big Finish had already made years ago) does nothing for me. Maybe I need more joy in my heart but I don’t care about the “blossomiest blossom.” It just feels like pandering.

Moving on to the companions, I’m sorry but Dan and Yaz’s exits were so funny. What... what was the point of Dan? He’s fun, I like him, but why was he here? He’s just some guy who’s just kind of there until he just kind of decides to go home. He never even got to be a plasterer. 😔

And Yaz leaves... because... the Doctor’s going to regenerate? That’s it? Like, after all this time, after showing how devoted she is to the Doctor, this is the reason she goes back home? Obviously Mandip Gill is leaving, but in universe it comes off as really weird. Companions have stuck around when the Doctor regenerates plenty of times. Clara and Rose do! Lots of Classic companions do! Is Yaz just that attached to Thirteen’s face?

Also they didn’t even reference Thasmin ahdjsdgh sorry guys

Literally how is anything about Yaz’s character resolved by this ending? Is she still a cop? What’s her relationship like with her family these days? Is she even still speaking to them regularly? Will she ever tell them the truth about her life? Does she finally feel confident in herself instead of having to rely on the Doctor? There’s just... nothing.

I wish my boy Ryan had shown up but Graham is always fun, it was good to see him.

Anyway I’m hyped for next year. I may not always see eye to eye with RTD, but the man definitely knows how to write. And Ncuti Gatwa looked great in the brief glimpse we got in the trailer!

8/10 overall. I think it was a decent sendoff for Thirteen!

[theworthynerodivergent]

More on being nonbinary

I have joined some communities since coming to this conclusion and they have made me feel more confident in my thoughts and feelings.

After doing some research I can say that I believe that I am a nonbinary trans masc. I know this can be defined differently from person to person so for me I’d say I feel like I can go between feeling masculine and feminine but I feel that I lean more toward masculine majority of the time. Sometimes I feel like I do feel like neither and I’m just here existing.

For me, I’ve noticed discovering this has been more emotional for me than coming to the conclusion I have adhd. I think it’s because this has the potential to drastically change my life. If it does I’m pretty sure it will be for the better but still change is scary.

While discovering adhd is more of an ah I understand and I can work to work with this being nonbinary is more like time to begin the journey of acceptance, learning, and unlearning and I think it’s forcing me out of my comfort zone of putting myself last to appease others.

With this, I no longer wish to put myself last. I want to feel comfortable in my skin and be proud of who I am. This is going to be a long journey but it’s one I want to take being scared and all.

I told my boyfriend of… wow 8 years yesterday and while he’s not entirely surprised he said that he needs time to process. It was hard for me to do it so it was nice to hear that he accepts me for who I am and loves me no matter what. Tho this still may change things in our relationship and I’ve decided I’ll be ok with whatever happens.

As far as pronouns idk yet I say for now I’m ok with any and all this may change later.

As far as my appearance I already dress sort of masculine but I want to fully commit now and I was thinking of also getting a binder but I have a big chest (44 F) so idk what would be a good one for me. If anyone has any suggestions I am open to hearing them.

This self-discovery journey of mine has been very eye-opening, emotional, draining, overwhelming, stressful, and reassuring. I’m learning so much about myself and realizing I’m not lazy, crazy, or dumb and there is a reason for my experiences and they are valid just like my feelings.

From learning about adhd, the trauma that I’ve been in denial about (more on that later), and identifying as nonbinary this has been a wild transformative few months. I am very curious to find out more about myself.

[humblemediagenius]

It's au guys ask time >:) one 📻 for that song meme, and skin, break and future for the not-so-nice oc meme >:3

GENE YOU ARE MAKING ME WRITE SO MUCH BUT IT’S WORTH IT BECAUSE I AM INSANE OVER THESE TWO YAY

Song: mememe by 100 Gecs

I know I already sent you a different 100 gecs song that was on their playlist but I’m sending you another one because I am insane. Besides the fact that this is absolutely the type of music Luna listens to, I just think the lyrics fit these two PERFECTLY. Like, I interpreted the song to be about a breakup from a unattentive / uncaring partner and I don’t think that applies to Zeke and Luna’s relationship, but rather applies to their relationship with their ex-boss and with their hosts. It’s a big plot point that the two of them figure out who they both really are, and the traits that make them who they are as their own individuals is blatantly looked over by their ex-boss (and the canon counterparts to their hosts, to an extent). So it feels like the type of message they’d want to be heard, that they feel like their experiences aren’t important…….. ough. I even did a drawing to this song, I think it fits them that well. also yeah just 100 gecs is au guys core music IDK what else to say on that

ok now for the other ask game:

skin: How comfortable is your OC in their skin? Do they grapple with anything that lives inside them -a beast, a curse, a failure, a monster? How do they face the smallest, weakest, most horrible version of themself? Are they able to acknowledge it at all?

WELL. The AU guys take that one phrase “the human skin is hard to live in” to the next level because they are literally living inside human bodies but aren’t human themselves. Over time I think both of them have kind of accepted their fate, but they don’t exactly like it overall. Luna has somewhat grown to appreciate their host and appearance, but Zeke has actually gotten less comfortable with it. He hates the color red because of that jacket he had to wear for so long. They don’t HATE the skin they’re in but they don’t LOVE it either. But then again, it’s all they’ve ever known, so even if they DID get freed from their hosts they probably would base their appearances on their hosts (especially after they start dressing and acting like themselves).

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

God, this is hard to think about because the AU guys are generally lighthearted and not getting into situations like this. I know for sure Zeke could (and honestly probably will at some point) reach his own breaking point because he’s repressed everything he hates about being in a host and acting like someone else. He’s jealous of Luna and how they’re so confident about everything they do, and he is so SICK of that jacket. So after months, maybe even over a year of holding it all in he finally snaps and breaks down. Zeke is typically very monotone, calm, collected— so you may or may not be surprised to hear that he is an emotional WRECK. I mean, ugly sobbing, shaking, barely able to coherently speak. He holds a lot in, not just his thoughts but emotions in general. Luna is obviously the only person to see him like this, and also the only one to help him get in a better place.

Luna, on the other hand, I don’t feel would realistically get to their lowest. They’re very flexible. I think the only thing that’d ever cause them to feel that way if Zeke, like, died or something (and vice versa for Zeke as well), but that obviously isn’t happening.

future: What's the worst possible future for your OC? Are they taking steps to avoid that outcome? Are they even aware it's a possibility?

Well the worst possible future that could have happened to them would have been if a certain ex-boss of theirs continued to mind control them and not let them break away; if it weren’t for them, they probably would have taken over Rackethill by now. In the story they’ve basically already avoided this fate, but they’re very much aware that 1) it very much could have happened, 2) it ALMOST really did happen and 3) they are never ever going back there again. I feel like Zeke especially panics about the fact it almost happened because for many months before Luna got their host, he was being mind controlled and he did not like it at all.

[dearestones]

Death Note Matchup: Takada Kiyomi

Warnings: Fluff.

Anonymous Request: Hi! Uh this is for the romantic Death Note matchups if you’re able to :) I do prefer males ideally but I’m always open to some lovely ladies

My name is Sage, I’m 5’0 tho I wear a lot of TALL platforms(except at home then it’s slippers). I dress very alternatively with a lot mini pleated skirts, thigh highs, chokers, and tight shirts. Hobbies revolve around animal and human psychology, I love to analyze lol

Best 5 traits: Im very confident on my body, I flirt in an attempt to flatter and make people smile, I am very analytical/rational, I’m very creative, open to affection yet loves space just the same

Worst 5: struggles with empathy, gets overstimulated with noise easily, gets irritated when things are out of place, prefers a dimly lit room, emotional at times

I’m autistic too but idk if that’s good or bad sometimes haha

.

.

.

After reading through the information given, I believe that you are best paired with Takada Kiyomi!

When you first meet Kiyomi, she’ll be immediately impressed and somewhat intimidated by your hold and statuesque figure. She stands a mere five inches shorter than you without heels, but with your platforms she feels completely dwarfed by your presence. It’s an interesting situation considering that as a spokeswoman on national television, she has to hold an imposing presence to best deliver the news and goodwill about Kira. Later on, when she becomes better accustomed to you and forms romantic feelings for you, she’ll adore your height and how she feels safe in your arms. 

As a high profile character on television, she has to keep up with strict appearances. Therefore, most of her clothing is very conservative and serves a professional function. She envies your alternative style and wishes that she could explore and expand her closet. She thinks the way your chokers clasp around your neck is titillating and she’s weak for your thigh highs. If you really want to rile her up, you can always model for her or even better… Ask her to model some of your outfits on herself. She’ll end up swallowed in your clothing, but you can’t deny that she’ll look stunning in clothing that doesn’t depict her dour profession. 

You like to study animal and human psychology? What a pleasant surprise! Kiyomi loves it when she encounters people who are more on the intellectual and rational side. She appreciates it when you don’t play up your emotions, often preferring that you are more honest and blunt with her.

That said, her knees will turn to jelly whenever you casually flirt with her. She’s more used to romantic gestures in the privacy of the bedroom or away from the public’s prying eyes. If you kiss her hand in front of fellow reporters or flirt with her in front of colleagues, her cheeks will redden and her professional tone of voice will slip into something that may or may not be considered high pitched and girlish. 

Furthermore, Kiyomi is in love with the fact that you love your body. Your outward confidence that exudes from your very being is magnetic, but at the same time, Kiyomi wants to shy away. She doesn’t think that she deserves you because you’re many things that she isn’t. It’s because of you that she seeks to improve herself. 

After spending so much time with you, Kiyomi embraces and loves every aspect of yourself and that includes your worst traits. As a Kira supporter, Kiyomi feels for the victims of criminals, but she can’t deny that part of her view is skewed by her pragmatic and efficient nature. She can empathize with the fact that you are also not as empathetic. She may not view your lack of empathy as a bad trait, per se, but rather as something that is a part of you. This sort of trait is not always found in good individuals—it’s your actions that dictate who you are. 

Kiyomi is also a fairly quiet and tidy person. She understands getting irritated if things are out of place; she gets a little antsy if her office space is cluttered or if she needs to dust off the surfaces of her apartment. She’ll help you if the overstimulation gets too much via grounding methods or simply holding you if you allow it. 

As for dimly lit rooms… You better be speaking her romance language because she finds this sort of lighting to be the best for certain activities between you and her once the work day is over. 

And don’t worry if you’re emotional at times. Even cold and pragmatic Kiyomi knows what it’s like to need to have some sort of outlet for emotions. She can also be driven by her emotions, especially if she’s driven in the pursuit of love. Since she’s in love with you, she’ll basically do anything for you and if that means giving you tissues to dry your eyes or offering you sweets to stem your tears, she’ll do so.

Congratulations! You found yourself a woman who is as elegant as she is beautiful. Beware of her cold nature because once she takes a liking to you, she will ensnare you with romance and love you forever. 

.

.

.

If you want to donate a Ko-Fi, feel free https://ko-fi.com/devintrinidad.

DEATH NOTE MASTERLIST

[jaydonsjam]

Man-Thing IV

Here we are again to talk about Man-Thing! This time around I’ll be talking about Adventure Into Fear #19 and Man-Thing #1! So in case you haven’t checked out my previous Man-Thing posts, I have loved Adventure Into Fear thoroughly and Steve Gerber along with Val Mayerik have been an awesome creative team. Man-Thing has jumped up the list of my favorite Marvel characters. I have a lot more Man-Thing to read before I can say with full confidence but this definitely gives Tomb of Dracula and Werewolf By Night a run for their money. I started this blog by posting my thoughts on Doctor Strange which I loved by the way (don’t worry I’ll be talking about more of his comics when I get to him in this massive Marvel comics reading order list I have). This storyline gave me the Doctor Strange vibes that I have been missing. I’ll go ahead and say it: this is my favorite Man-Thing storyline so far. Let’s get into it!

Adventure Into Fear #19

(Adventure Into Fear #19 and Man-Thing #1 were written by Steve Gerber and pencilled by Val Mayerik and inked by Sal Trapani)

This issue begins with a battle happening in a dreamscape with all kinds of warriors both with swords, bows, guns and tanks etc. Man-Thing is just watching it all go down. Then dressed in her Zhered-Na sorceress garb, Jennifer finds Man-Thing and takes him by the hand and leads him up a light bridge before she wakes up screaming. I absolutely love how this issue starts and the dreamscape reminded me of something we might’ve seen in a Doctor Strange comic. I loved the light bridge that led to a castle in the sky and just everything about the art. The use of pinks and blue backgrounds just made it feel like a dream. I still don’t like the sorceress garb that Jen wears. It doesn’t scream sorceress at all. Plus the bikini armor just isn’t practical and protects you against nothing.

If you thought the beginning of the issue was weird, well, a warrior named Korrek is spawned from peanut butter and we get the first appearance of Howard the Duck. I’m telling you, this was so weird but it felt so right. Korrek tries to kill Jen in her bed but when he sees Joshua and Andy, he leaps out the window because he was “outnumbered”. Yeah, Korrek is kinda dumb but he becomes lovable by the end of the first issue of Man-Thing. Dakimh the Enchanter shows up and wants to take Jen as his apprentice and he also drops a lot of exposition. Josh and Jen agree that she should go with Dakimh so they leave! It turns out that reality and all it’s dimensional planes of existence are folding into each other causing weird stuff to happen and could lead to the destruction of reality if not stopped and it also ties to the construction crews tearing up the swamp. Idk some of it went over my moronic head.

Korrek tries to fight Man-Thing in the swamp but every swing with his sword just doesn’t work so he gives up. Then Howard the Duck shows up and they go to the construction site and see all out war with demons and the construction workers. This is so weird but hilarious amounts of fun are had. Jen and Dakimh in the other realm is attacked by the Overmaster’s army being led by Akilla. Dakimh flees and Jen is captured. This felt like when you had a bunch of different toys and you’d have a big battle with them. I do like Jen so I hope she continues to learn how to use her magic powers and hopefully becomes a full-fledged sorceress. She’s probably my favorite supporting character from the comics I’m reading (although I really like Taj). Dakimh who I didn’t care about before has become a much better character and I do enjoy having a Merlin type wizard in this book. Man-Thing is weirder than I expected and the more issues I read, the more I want a team-up with Doctor Strange.

Man-Thing #1

We continue with Man-Thing! Dakimh left Jen to bring Man-Thing, Korrek, Howard back to the Nexus of All Realities to save Jen. Meanwhile, the Congress of Realities who serve the Overmaster are waiting for their master to arrive before they kill Jen. Overmaster looks like your traditional politician which made me laugh. I don’t know what I was expecting the dude to look like, it wasn’t a man in a suit and tie. Before they execute her by firing squad, DAREDEVIL AND BLACK WIDOW swing in from a dimensional opening in the ceiling and prevent them from firing before they fall into another portal and are never seen again.

Jen suddenly turns to water and leaks between floor boards and rematerializes in front from Dakimh and the other three. They need to realign the Nexus so they jump onto a dimensional path where Howard falls into the nothingness but at least Dakimh gives Korrek a cool looking helmet. They find themselves in Therea but Overmaster and his army are right on their heels. Overmaster reveals himself to be Thog the Nether-Spawn and engages in a final fight with Man-Thing. Man-Thing tosses Thog into the magical water and it drains him of his red color to where he becomes gray and frozen on his knees. It was a cool effect and I feel like we had been building towards this since the 11th issue of Fear. The best reveal comes next when our heroes meet the gods of Therea and they turn out to be two dogs. Cutest moment is when Man-Thing pats the good boy and they are transported back to the swamp. I love this book.

Overall I really enjoyed this story arc and I hope we go weird like this again. Mayerik absolutely kills it on the art here and I just found it so engaging. I don’t mind coincidental endings or moments as long as the writing is up to the task and Gerber’s writing is great. We started off Man-Thing with a bang and I can’t wait to see what happens next. Thanks for reading and next up is the first issue of Defenders!

[skylinebeemine]

mini gender ranting/venting post

So while I’m in college I’ve still been living with my mom who I’m not out as trans to. Long explanation short she would probably be fine with it however i’m way less sure about her republican boyfriend who is now also living with us so I’m holding out rather until after the election or whenever I move out whichever feels better.

Anyways because I’m not fully socially transitioning and partially because of her nagging I’ve regularly shaved my legs during the summer months and semi regularly afterwards even after I realized I was trans. however, before this summer I went maybe ~9 months without shaving my legs and it’s such a small thing yet I felt so proud/confident in myself over it. I’ve always hated wearing shorts plus it was cool enough that’s I could wear long pants the entire time and not worry about weird looks/comments.

However we went to the beach at the beginning of June and I hate having body hair whenever I wear a swimsuit. Whenever I wear more “feminine” clothes (ie a short dress/skirt) I feel like I HAVE to shave so I finally did it. I fucking hated it. Usually I can get away with the mild dysphoria by trying to have fun wearing “girly” clothes but I just couldn’t this time.

As soon as vacation was over I decided I wouldn’t shave the rest of the summer no matter what. I finally got longer shorts that I actually prefer wearing shorts over jeans so part of me was low key nervous to finally make the change I’ve been wanting to do for years, but as soon as I started doing I started liking my body more. It seems so silly but this gives me the tiniest feeling of having control over my body. It’s not even close to being as long as it was (stupid thigh hair taking forever to grow) but it still feels more right then what I was doing.

All this to say I’m going to have to start all over and shave again in October for our trip and low key I don’t know if I can do it. It’s such a small part of it but it’s got me dreading this vacation that I should be super excited for.

Anyways this is such a nothing rant but I’m just sitting here dreading what’s coming while also considering just coming out but also I know that could end so badly so idk

[roguestarsailor]

Why did I even come out here for?? I’m literally not having fun. I thought I could be a different person and finally feel like I’m thriving and successful after moving out of my home town and into this new city with new opportunities and experiences. I thought I could find romance out here, I thought I could finally feel like I belong, and I thought I could be this driven creative person but I’m deadass not. I’m quite miserable actually. And the same problems that plague me back home is still with me here. I mean I knew this but it’s very real now and it feels amplified because I’m by myself so often or I’m surrounded by people I WANT to be or wish I could be and I spend too much time in my head. I don’t know if maybe I’m just jet lagged and tired, or I’m not eating well but I am crashing again. Like I am feeling very sad and lonely and heartbroken and unsettled and unsuccessful and confused and I feel like I lack direction and purpose and I feel absolutely hopeless in the romance department and have absolutely nothing else going for me. I thought I found a good group of friends but I still feel like I’m wearing a mask and I feel like I need to run to catch up to them or else they’ll leave me behind. Sometimes it feels like maybe I’m defining friendship wrong? It also makes me sad when I see they clearly have other friends and are doing other things (in separate group chats that I am no apart of). I love that they like doing things but since I’ve been on trip I feel like I’m coming back and missing a million things and I feel left out. I feel physically tired and I want to pump the brakes but I feel like I’m being left behind. I feel like I’m alternating between personalities sometimes and I think I’m going insane. I am not thriving in my job and I hate my title (and reading my performance review it looks like that title isn’t changing anytime soon and my quality of work is actually bad or at least at the level that my stupid title is). I like where I work but I’m no where near where I want to be and it feels like a longer road than I thought and I feel like I’m running out of time. I also can’t dress the way I want because I don’t have anything to justify looking that way; I would feel like a fraud and like a child playing dress up pretending to be confident and commanding and everyone takes my work seriously and it matters and it makes me sad and annoyed. Don’t get me started on my body image. I’m ugly everywhere!!!! And I’m still obsessed over that one guy! For what?? IDK!! I want to get over it and be mature and be realistic but my heart won’t let me. My brain spirals a lot when it comes to him and I’m 2 seconds away from deleting Instagram because his friends posts things that clearly indicate he’s there (his dog every yt person absolutely loves for some reason??) and we just don’t talk enough to care but it’s also wtf? Are we friends at minimum?? I feel so stressed and confused by this. Anyways, I’m fucken miserable. I’m still sick and honestly I’m blowing out every single fluid out my goddamn nose and I am angry at my body about that too. Laying in bed makes me want to cry and all I can do is overthink and over analyze and hardcore fantasize about a better life with a skinny body and wish I had someone to comfort me and make me congee and rub my forehead!! This all makes me feel absolutely terrible!!