#and if things wouldve been better or worse for him

[coyoxxtl]

i didnt want to put this in my prev reblogs tags but like

my dad was a us army soldier that went to Iraq, and for a long time i thought he did good over there, or at least tried. like my mom said that he had locals thank him personally for his help. though now i wonder if he’s just, lying about all that. bc not only did he literally Come Back Wrong after his third deployment, over the years he slowly opens up about shit he deliberately never told me, like the time he and a few other soldiers were left for dead by his group, and he only survived because the locals helped him, if im remembering right. however, i wonder how true that all is, or rather does that make up for the other heinous shit he’s responsible for. i remember him telling me passively he tortured a man. so i Know he has skeletons in his closet, i know for a fact there’s shit he will take to his grave.

all those times i prayed for my dad to survive and come back home, was that at the expense of innocent Iraqis? could my dad dying out there saved someone? I’ll never know for sure, but it kinda points to that doesn’t it?

[cascadianights]

I turned down two separate 3am calls, kept my distance for two months, let my guard down for One Night and stay up all night laughing and drinking and falling asleep on the couch together & waking him up to go to bed while he just stayed put with me till almost 5am and it kills me it kills me it kills! Me!

[silverislander]

movie i was really looking forward to picked specifically to cheer myself up seems designed to purposefully upset me specifically. hell on earth

[infizero]

i may get shot for this but personally i dont think theres really anything wrong with death note's female characters

[gibbearish]

also is the thing with the box ever. explained?

[vaugarde]

imagine if bluestar x crookedstar was actually real and bluestar was silverstream’s mom and she brought her over to riverclan instead of moss, misty, and stone, and silverstream getting with graystripe and dying as a result is like tragic irony on both parts

[fukcnoplease]

Things always go wrong Pt 4

Pt1 Pt2 Pt3 Pt5

They had been in a dark tunnel for a long time before the batcar finally slowed down. Signal had been typing at his forearm while it projected something for nearly the entire drive. Dani noticed the light signaling the end of the tunnel and stopped breathing.

The tunnel opened up into a massive cave, covered floor to ceiling  in towering stalactites and stalagmites. Everywhere except the road that seemed to float in the middle of it all. 

As they went deeper, platforms started to emerge from the walls. Dani stared at the cars, and even a few planes, that sat on the massive shelves. If they had looked smaller she wouldve thought they were toys on display. Eventually they stopped in the center of a massive open room. Was it a room if the walls and ceiling were a cave? And if you could park a car in it and still have massive open space? Maybe this was just a fancy garage.

Storage systems were tucked away on the floating platforms and there was a giant computer system at the other end of the cave. Tucker would have fainted. There was a pang of something from her core, worry maybe. Dani ignored it as she unbuckled Danny and pulled him out of the car, this time letting Signal help. He looked worse, his skin looked gray. Too gray. She was scared too much movement would make it worse.

Dani was exhausted too. She had enough ectoplasm to transform but it had taken a toll on her and she hadnt turned back yet. She wanted to lay down and sleep, maybe punch something, but she kept that to herself. Danny needed her right now. 

She tried to maneuver him into a more comfortable position but before she was comfortable she felt Danny be lifted off her. Panicking, she spun and threw a hard punch. Batman grunted and took a few steps back, pulling away from her. With Danny still in his arms.

It was surprising enough that he had stayed standing after taking a punch from Dani but she almost lost it when he moved away with Danny. He was carrying him princess style, which would have been funny if she wasnt so horrified. 

“Give him back.” She growled and Batman didnt react.

“I can carry him.” Without waiting for a reply he walked towards what looked like metal cone shaped holes in the wall. Dani leapt for him, this time she really was going to hurt him. 

“Wait, you piece of shit! Give him back!” Dani cried as she ran after the big bat. Her vulgarities had the intended effect and Batman turned to look at her, surprised as she leapt at him. 

She was fast but just as she got her hands on Danny Batman stepped into the metal cone. Dani was enveloped in bright light and before she could even register what was happening they were in a different metal cone facing into a giant metal room. 

She didnt have time to take in her new surroundings before she heard Danny gurgle. He shuddered in Batman's arms and his arms raised to grasp around his chest as he blinked his eyes open. Dani froze when she saw his eyes were entirely green, no iris or pupil, and didnt react in time to stop Danny from thrusting the palm of his hand at Batman’s face. He tumbled out of the man’s arms and landed in a heap on the floor. 

He made another gurgling sound and then threw up ectoplasm all over the floor. Dani was by his side in an instant and tried to soothe him. He whipped his hands out at her and she caught his wrists. Dani felt her core scream as she held Danny back from hitting her. Why was he attacking her? This wasnt a normal injured Danny reaction. He shook violently and she whispered whatever she could think of to help calm him down. He was okay, they were safe, they were okay. As the shaking lessened into trembles he started crying, great big drops of green ectoplasm fell from his glowing eyes. Dani dropped his arms and pulled him into a hug. She felt herself spiral. She had no idea what to do. They had no way to get to Frostbite until Danny was better but she had no idea if he WOULD get better. This had never happened before. She hadn't been alive long and it hit her all at once how little she knew. 

His core stuttered in a broken rhythm when she tried to harmonize with him and she gripped him tighter. She had a sudden understanding of why Danny had always been so worried about sending her off on her own.

“We need to get him to the medical center.” Batman said and Dani looked up at him. She had forgotten he had been standing there and he was rubbing his jaw where he had been hit. Rage bloomed in her chest and she glared at him. She should kill him for what he had done. That thought alone stuttered her brain into silence.

He hadn't done anything. It wasn't his fault, he didn't know this would happen. She didn't know either. She felt like she didn't know anything at all.

“No. He needs to rest. There isnt anything you can do for him anyways.” She said with venom. Batman stared at her and frowned. This she did know. There was no way they knew anything about ghosts. If they knew they were ghosts there was no way they would have saved them from the GIW. There was no way they had anything that could help them. That could help Danny.

“We can help to the best of our ability. We can give basic first aid and run tests to find out what is wrong. As soon as we know-” Batman said. Dani growled at him and he scowled as he was cut off, straightening his back to look bigger.

“You don't need to know anything. I am telling you that you can't help. What he needs is a bed and to be left alone.” Dani said, anger growing. Batman furrowed his brow and opened his mouth to speak on for a different voice to interject.

“Let them rest.” The interjector said. She was a tall and muscular woman with knee high boots and what looked like an armored bathing suit. Dani scrunched her face at the fashion choices and the glowing yellow lasso at her side. Ignoring those though, she was beautiful. Wavy dark hair and a striking face that was gentle in comparison to her defined muscles.

“Wonder woman.” Batman growled. Dani couldn't tell if he was being threatening or if he was just upset at being interrupted. Dani didn't really care. A part of her, pretty big part, enjoyed watching him be told what to do.

“I understand your concern, Batman, and I sympathize with it. The scene we just saw is concerning but if the information Signal sent us is to be believed then perhaps we should let them rest.” She let Batman take a breath before she turned to Danny and smiled. “Is there anything we could help you with? Your friend seems injured and we would like to help to the best of our abilities.” 

Dani stared at her. She didn't really know what to say but she pulled the heaving Danny closer and shook her head.

“I can… I can handle it. He just needs a bed. And to be alone.” she said. Under the maternal gaze of Wonder woman Dani felt tiny, like a small kid who had been found alone. It was jarring to have such a caring and maternal look aimed at her. The woman just nodded at her and motioned for Dani to follow. Batman made his patented ‘hn’ sound and went off in another direction and Dani sat there, frightened and out of her depth. She didn't want to move. She wanted to close her eyes and wake up back in Amity, laughing on Sam’s bed while Danny lost miserably at smash.

“Don't worry, I can show you to an empty guest room and once your friend is settled I can show you around the watchtower.” Wonder Woman said. Dani nodded, she felt numb as she stood up, lifting Danny off the floor with her. He was awkwardly shifted so she was holding his legs and he was bent over one of her shoulders but it worked and she just hoped she didn't have to walk too far. At some point Danny had passed out again and while Dani didn't like it, it was probably more comfortable for him right now.

Thankfully Wonder Woman didn't take her too far down one of the corridors that split off the big room they were just in. She pressed a button on the wall and a door slid into the wall like a sci-fi show. Danny would have loved this place if he was awake to see it. Whatever this place was. Waves of fear suddenly crashed into her as she realized she had no idea where they were. A bunker? A secure facility? Were they even in America anymore?

Dani’s core shuddered and she took a deep breath. She could think about that when she wasn't carrying an unconscious potentially dying Danny. 

She walked past Wonder Woman and into the room. There was a bed to the left of the door, a desk at the end of the small room and some American looking outlets but nothing much else. Dani dumped her ‘ambassador’ on to the bed unceremoniously. He grunted and she felt a little bad but she made up for it by tossing the covers over him equally unceremoniously. They could laugh about it when he woke up. Because he would wake up. She would make sure of it.

“Would you like for me to show you around? I can show you where the cafeteria and bathrooms are.” Wonder woman offered, hitting Dani with that disarming maternal smile again. Dani looked between her and Danny before shaking her head. She wasn't going to leave him alone. Not in an unfamiliar, potential government facility with essentially government officials. 

“No thank you.” Dani said and Wonder woman gave a heartbreaking look of concern and care and Dani wanted to be swallowed by the earth. “Maybe later?” she said and Wonder woman gave her a gentle smile and nod.

“If you need anything there should always be someone just down the hall.” The woman said, pointing further down the hall and away from the only place in the building that Dani was familiar with. Maybe it was just her but the corridor looked far darker than it did just a few minutes ago but she nodded regardless. Wonder Woman gave one last smile before closing the door.

Dani slid down the side of the bed and onto the floor. She felt like there was so much going on that her brain had just gone blank. Like an overheated computer.

Time passed as she stared at the door and leaned against the metal frame of the bed. She didn't know how much time passed and she didn't really care. She wanted to just sit there for as long as she could. Maybe if she just waited Danny would get better. Or someone would come help them. Maybe Jazz would come storming through that door and she would get a great big hug and it would all be ok.

Something started buzzing and Dani jumped. She felt the vibrations again and she looked at the bed, Danny laying there still and breathing, as the bed vibrated. It took a few too many seconds for Dani to realize it was coming from the backpack still on Danny’s back. Careful she rolled Danny on to his side, facing him away from her, as she unzipped the bag and took out the ringing phone. 

Eco-Terrorist was calling. A picture of Sam Manson flipping off the camera filling the screen as the device buzzed. Dani swiped to pick up and Sam’s face popped up. It made Dani jump, though Sam ignored it.

“Dani? Where is Danny? Is he okay? Where are you?” Sam asked, her voice stern but full of worry and Dani almost started crying. 

“I-I don't know.” Dani said. She felt her voice wobble and she took a deep breath to center herself. Just like Jazz had taught her. Just like she had so many times before.

“What do you mean? Are you okay?” Sam watched Dani take some more calming breaths and frowned, “Tucker and I just got to Gotham. We are heading to my apartment now. Do you think you can meet us there if I send you the address?” She kept her voice gentle as she asked and Dani wiped her eyes.

“I don't know. We got chased into Gotham and cornered in an alley. Danny… Danny collapsed and I didnt know what to do. Some of the bat people showed up and helped and then batman showed up and then he said he would help and i didnt know what to do and I followed him and I know you aren't supposed to follow strangers, of course I know, I travel all the time! But he took us through a portal or something and Danny freaked out and now I don't know where we are but there was another lady and she helped and-” Dani felt tears on her cheeks but she just kept talking until Sam cut her off.

“Batman took you somewhere?” Sam asked and before Dani could nod she heard Tucker scream: “BATMAN TOOK YOU!?” and she flinched away from the phone. There was a smack and some cursing and Dani could have almost laughed. If it wasn't for the groan and rustle as Danny moved to look at the phone in Dani’s hands.

“Danny?” she whispered but the boy didn’t respond. His eyes weren't all green anymore, now just the irises glowed, but they weren't focusing on anything.

“Is that Danny? Is he alright?” Sam asked over the phone and Danny moved again. His core let out an uneven shudder and he groaned in pain, falling back onto the bed. He was facing Dani now but his eyes were scrunched closed and he was clutching his chest. 

“Hello? Is everything ok?” Sam asked, her voice more concerned than it was before and Dani snapped back to the video call, blinking.

“Uhm, I think- I think he hurt his core but I-I dont know how?” Dani said and turned back to watch Danny as he tried to breathe through whatever pain he was dealing with. 

“Hey!” Sam called and both of the halfas turned their gaze to the phone, “We can handle that, ok? If you can get him to my apartment we have the resources to help. Can you do that?”

Dani nodded but frowned.

“I can try, but Batman really didn't want to let Danny be. I don't know if I can convince him to let us leave.”

“Is there anyone else you can ask? Can you convince someone else to let you leave?” Sam asked and Dani hummed. There was Wonder Woman and she seemed more than willing to help. There was also whoever was just down the hall but that was a gamble. Maybe if she asked for help finding Wonder Woman? Dani worked through the possibilities in her head and Sam gave a small smile. 

“Look, we have to go. I need to call Jazz and update her but if anything changes text me or Tucker and if things go south call me, ok?” Sam said. Dani nodded and Sam waved bye before hanging up. Thoughts and plans raced through Dani’s head as she tried to figure out what to do. She could play up the young child act if the person seemed kind enough or lean into the royalty act if they looked gullible enough. Maybe she could even use the ancient ghost trick if the child act didn't work.

Dani took a deep breath and stood up. Danny needed help fast and spending too much time building up plans, or courage, was not something she could afford. She turned and clicked the button on the wall, the door sliding open.

The hallway stretched to her left and right and looked even darker now that wonder woman wasn't there. Dani took a shaky breath and stepped out. She moved to keep going but glanced back one last time to check on Danny. He had closed his eyes again and his breathing had evened out. She closed the door and hoped no one would try anything while she was gone. He would be fine.

The dark corridor didn't seem as oppressive now that she was actually walking through it but she still rushed. The corridor ended in another open room, this one more of a lounge with couches and seating a few low tables and a giant window for one wall.

A window that opened to the massive expanse of space. Earth a curved globe below her. 

Holy shit.

They were in space. They weren't in America. They were on a giant space station. In space. Dani almost choked as she stared into the endless array of stars. Her legs almost gave out as her thoughts crashed into another. They were in space. How would they get home? How would they get to Gotham? How had she not noticed? No wonder Batman had been so confident about the GIW not finding them. How could anyone find them? Danny would be ecstatic. Danny would be heartbroken. He would have no recollection of being in space but he still would have been there.

Dani had never been to space before. Dani had heard of how he had flown up to the edge of the earth's atmosphere when he had had a particularly bad day. He said it had been the most beautiful view he had ever seen.

Dani watched the cool colors of the earth swirl below her and the sparkling blanket of stars beyond that. It was beautiful, and she wondered if Danny would have been able to tell her about the constellations. She wanted to hear him talk again. Bright and excited and way too fast to understand. 

“Are you lost?” A voice said and she turned to see a man dressed in blue and red with a big S on his chest. He was big, as big as batman and had a big cape hanging from his shoulders.

“Do you know where Wonder Woman is?” She asked, completely monotone. The man stared at her in surprise. 

“No… but I can find her for you. Do you need her for something? Are you ok?” He asked, looking concerned as he approached her. He kind of reminded her of a big bear. Dangerous, sure, but also friend-shaped.

“I… I need to go home?” she said. It wasn't supposed to be a question. The shock of being in space had factory reset Dani’s brain and she felt eerily calm. Her emotions barely registered as she watched the man try and figure out what was going on.

“I see. Do you.. Know why you’re here by any chance?” He asked and Dani nodded solemnly.

“Batman kidnapped me.” She said. Her core hummed in amusement as she watched the man splutter and struggle to find something to say to that.

“Are- Is he- Are you his newest ward?” The caped man asked and Dani stared at him. Now equally confused.

“No?” Dani said, “Sorry, does he normally kidnap kids?” 

“What? No! Well, not usually?” The man fumbled to explain and Dani was suddenly struck by how casually Batman had gotten them in his car and dragged them into, not just his cave, but also an entire space station.

“Holy shit,” Dani said, “I'm in a secondary location.”

~~

Helloooo This week has been actually awful so Im sorry if the quality has gone down hill :/ I probably wont be able to post anything for a while because so much has been happening and I havent been able to sit down and write much

But Im gonna do my best ! And I hope you still enjoy!!

[fizzbot]

APOLOGY TOUR SPOILERS / HELLUVA BOSS CRITICAL POST

(please just dont read if youre a fan/are gonna be annoying in my tags/replies)

i LOVE verosika. i was super excited to see an episode all about her. she has EVERY right to be mad at blitz, and i do enjoy seeing things from the perspective of his victims. BUT.....i was really disappointed in her portrayal in apology tour. MOSTLY just because i was dissapointed in stolas portrayal in apology tour, and think this ep wouldve been better if it was more about BLITZ instead. rant under the cut

im not gonna give the whole rant about how annoying it is that stolas is constantly woobified, because 100 critical blogs have done it much more gracefully than i ever could. but it is just SO dissapointing to watch a man that couldve been SUCH a compelling villain be the ONLY one who is EVER sympathized with in the show. we are supposed to feel bad for him and believe that both sides are wrong in the stolitz situation, when stolas' crimes are SO MUCH WORSE than all of blitzs bad deeds combined. he co-erced blitz into a sex contract as the only means of doing his job, and then made HIM feel guilty for not falling n love with him during it. the 'both sides are in the wrong' comment gets particularly frustrating when the show has, tme and time again, only let stolas be the one with support. blitz is made to look unreasonable, no matter how right he is. and, in this instance, stolas is the one getting invited to this party to celebrate being ""wronged"" by blitz.

back to verosika. especially now that the episode is out, i am even more firmly on her side. the fact that blitz broke up with HER because things were getting too serious is interesting (albiet not as interesting as i think it couldve been but thats a rant for another post). im not saying she should forgive blitz, but i do struggle to fully agree with her because of how she treated stolas in the episode. she is the first to comfort him, the first to try and encourage him to shit-talk blitz, etc etc and i just dont understand.....why?

ive already had problems with her character since the sexual assault ""joke"" from spring broken, but this also really left a bad taste in my mouth. i totally understand her desire to party and sympathize with other people who were harmed by blitz, but its frustrating that stolas was invited to be among them. stolas, the man who is very much NOT THE VICTIM in his relationship with blitz. this is more the fault of the writers than verosika herself, but it is SO FRUSTRATING that she gave him the spotlight and is trying to help him heal from a situation that is ENTIRELY HIS FAULT. stolas didnt just hurt blitzs feelings, he sexually coerced and abused him. of all people, shouldnt verosika understand how terrible that can be? the kind of hurt that can do to a person? im not saying that this terrible relationship FORGIVES blitz's wrongdoings, but you shouldnt be giving his fucking abuser a stage and a microphone to talk shit about his victim. this becomes so much more insidious to me with the conversation she has with blitz on the balcony, later. this was actually a pretty good scene imo but it could certainly be better.

this is much more opinionated and i wouldnt be surprised if even the critical community isnt with me on this one, but i long for an alternate verson of this episode thats focused on verosika being on blitz's side, instead. its been over 5 years since they dated, and even though she is still allowed to be mad, it would be nice to see that shes moved on. maybe give her a new partner like barbie wire and let her throw these parties just so she can look back and laugh and help blitz's other victims heal in the same way that she has. not to bring up an also not-great show, but in rick and morty, we see a relationship between rick and one of his ex-partners named unity. they were really terrible for each other, enabling bad/unhealthy behaviors, generally being awful. their break-up was messy, but in recent seasons, we see unity coming back, upon hearing that rick was doing something self-destructive. they worried about him, because a part of them still cared, as much as they were hurt by his actions. i would have LOVED to see a similar thing with blitz and verosika, where verosika finds out about the relationship blitz is trapped in/just got out of. i think it would be SO MUCH MORE naratively interesting, for her to be supportive of his little apology tour, and maybe even inviting HIM to the "blitzo sucks" party. not everyone (or anyone) needs to forgive him; in fact, i think coming to this party would give him perspective. his relationship with stolas has hurt him so badly, he can finally step back and understand the harm that he did to all these people. the apologies that he gave, as he admits in the episode, were shallow. but i think framing stolas as the toxic one would be better in helping him realize that he has done wrong more than what the show is currently doing. and maybe some people at the party WILL forgive him. maybe he can apologize on the stage, and some people will empathize with his situation and believe that the apology is genuine, because hes finally had to be on the other end of his own hurt. and maybe THAT would be the first step in helping blitz realize that maybe he isnt completely unlovable, because there are people who cared about him enough to be THIS DEVASTATED upon getting their heart broken by him. a conversation with verosika about what he did to her would hit so much harder after this, imo

anyway. im sorry if this is completely incoherent/a bad point. i was just thinking about it and i am so sick of everyone being a stolas apologist </3

[xcixmoon]

zero - part II

this is a 18+ page, minors dni

⤥ simon 'ghost' riley x reader

⤥ fem!reader, simon ‘ghost’ riley x reader, lt!ghost x rookie!reader, simon riley x reader, angsty!ghost x reader.

⤥ ultimate masterlist - zero masterlist

⤥ warnings: strong language and violence.

note: unedited and keep in mind that parts of the recent campaign has been modified to fit my story/character. THANK U FOR 600 FOLLOWERS AAAAA, I APPRECIATE U ALL SM

you watched as ghost carefully tended to your gunshot wound. a sting went throughout your body when he wiped off the dried blood - you groaned lightly at the feel.

you noticed ghost eyes looked up at you, “sorry…” you mumbled.

you were laying on a old couch that was at the current safe house you found and ghost was kneeling down to see your injury.

thankfully the safe house had some medical supplies stored.

every bit of useful supplies you always kept with yourself was left in your backpack with the shadows and graves in the car.

ghost had hardly said a word when you both got to the safe house. you both had to move quick as graves was looking for you, soap, and ghost. it was clear enough that graves was willing to do anything to get you all.

you shut your eyes in annoyance with the situation, you felt like you were dead weight to ghost, “why haven’t you said anything?” you finally asked him.

you were used to ghost speaking up in situations like this but you were left with nothing, it made you feel worse about the situation.

ghost sealed up the wound and set down the medical supplies, “what you were willing to do was stupid.” he finally spoke.

he was right.

ghost was always the one to be blunt and straight forward, there’s no beating around the bush with him.

“why is that?” you couldn’t help yourself.

you just had to ask, you were irritated at the situation at hand and your words just spilled out before you could think.

ghost got up from the floor and walked to look out a near window. you heard commotion going on - the shadows were killing innocents.

sure, the cartel had people under their wings but hearing the screams of the women and men that had no clue what was going on made you more motivated to get back at graves.

“bloody bastard.” you heard ghost say under his breath.

you knew this upset ghost as well, he had his suspicions towards graves as is and he was right all long.

ghost turned towards you - “price and i taught you better than to let anger control you.” he finally answered.

you felt disappointed in yourself when the words came out.

he was right, yet again.

once joining task force 141, you had spent a lot of time with price and ghost. price would often be the one to give you the best advice while ghost furthered your training.

spending time with each other allowed you both to open up, occasionally. you were the first to slowly let your walls down and tell him about why you are the way that you are and ghost would occasionally drop hints about his past.

in some cases you were similar.

"we're a team y/n. we need to stick together." ghost said.

a scoff escaped your lips.

you still couldnt help yourself and his words upset you further, your hand skimmed your cheek across your newly scar. "is that why you guys came looking for me?"

you were being stubborn and soon regret it as soon as the words left your lips.

the fuck are you thinking.

but the words kept going, "if i wasnt with sin nombre i bet you lot wouldve just left me."

"thats not true and you know it." ghost responded calmly.

you got up and walked towards ghost, "then where the hell was alejandro or you, you were overwatch! you had soap doing the task to get her but alejandro failed to be the eyes and ears when we needed it!"

you wanted to say i needed but that was selfish.

you were never selfish and always knew things happen out of plans when going on missions. nothing is ever set in stone because the enemy can always have another plan.

you were acting out and knew it but you couldn’t stop. it was a foreign feeling to feel this way but you wanted answers. you were picking a battle that wasn’t worth fighting.

you never asked about that day because there were other important things to tackle.

there still are other important things to tackle.

ghost looked down at you - you were small compared to him but still you managed to feel taller than him in your fit of anger.

"stop talking zero," he warned you.

"no." you responded.

ghost pushed past you, "that wasnt a request, it was an order."

you turned to ghost in disbelief, "you want me to shut up then tell me what i want to know simon."

ghost pov

she was being so bloody stubborn.

when the words “if i wasn’t with sin nombre you lot would’ve just left me.” hit me i was shocked at first but not surprised.

she was used to being left alone by those who are supposed to care for her - she had been alone since she was twelve.

a good for nothing father and a even worse mother.

i thought our chats would unknowingly let her know that no one in 141 is leaving her for any reason.

not even me.

we understood each other more than the others and i know for a fact that shes eating at herself for letting the words spill out with each word she speaks.

her calling me simon in a case like this pushed a button.

zeros pov

"where the hell did you think i was when the team collected sin nombre and you!" he raised his voice slightly. ghost looked into your eyes, you both were close to each other.

your chest rising and falling quickly trying to calm yourself down.

you scanned his eyes, "i was making my way to somehow get into that building as i got confirmation from alejandro that he couldn’t find you. i was willing to possibly risk the mission." he lowered his voice again.

he let out a big sigh and walked away.

you felt like a fool as soon as he said he was willing to risk the mission before you could respond to ghost you both heard soaps voice come through communication, a wave of relief hit both of you at the sound of it.

“we’re at a safe house now but zero is injured.” ghost told soap.

soap was whispering his words, “what are we gonna do L.t.?”

he had to be hiding from the shadows.

ghost looked at you for a split second, “meet us at the towns church, we have a better chance at getting the hell out of here from that direction.”

you grabbed your weapon and began trying to prepare yourself to head to the church but soon you groaned in pain, “shit…”

ghost looked at you as you tried to brush it off but doing that was no use. you were only going to further your injury.

he took off his sweatshirt and noticed a bit of his stomach flashed in doing so, you quickly averted your eyes from the sight and felt your cheeks grow red, “here.” you heard him say.

he made a makeshift sling out of his sweatshirt, you felt embarrassed at catching a glimpse of his stomach.

he had a happy trail and seen he was definitely in shape. you had to be in shape of course but you never got to see simons build with his armor always being on him 24/7.

“thanks…” still embarrassed about everything. you tried to avoid his eyes but his eyes were looking at you before you looked at him.

he tied his two sleeves together behind your neck, “don’t worry about it.” was all he said.

[two days later]

the last two days had been... tense.

you were hardly speaking to ghost after that night and people that were around were starting to notice.

soap, thankfully, is doing well after being shot by graves. he seemed to be in high spirits after seeing familiar faces again - you couldnt imagine being alone and injured while trying to dodge the shadows and graves.

you luckily had ghost who was quick with his decision making and was able to take down shadows by himself. the only time you both had talked when he was ordering you to wait or to follow him to get passed a few shadows.

getting out was easy with a partner.

none of you had gotten much sleep as everyones thoughts kept them up at night.

you were injured and tired but still had to keep fighting to get alejandro back and the final missile that was still in the hands of the enemy.

"graves most likely has alejandro here," rudy pointed at the map.

once ghost and you were able to round up soap, he took you to alejandros safe house, when you got there rudy was waiting. "graves also detained your men, would they be located in the same vicinity?" you asked rudy.

he nodded, "likely."

"we're going to need more than what we got." you told the group.

you looked at ghost and soap and they gave a nod in agreement, "we're well stocked." said rudy as he opened up a door that led to an armory.

"get supplies for your team and lets head out." ghost ordered.

everyone agreed and began getting ready.

"you got it L.t." said soap.

the group broke off to prepare for the mission. rudy was gathering equipment for his team, soap was getting his gear on, while ghost was studying the map of alejandros base.

wanting to talk to him you chose to ignore your thoughts and decided best to get ready. you went to freshen up and to take a look at your wound, you looked in the mirror and sort of felt like a different person.

you reflected upon recent events, "what in the fuck y/n." you said to yourself.

you splashed cold water on your face.

everything felt wrong.

everything is wrong.

a slight feeling of regret hit you as you thought about price recruiting you for 141.

the what ifs began to fill your head.

you werent an emotional person and the last few days proved that - you didnt know how to handle new feelings, "y/n." a familiar voice said behind you.

you looked in the mirror to see ghost standing at the doorway.

"i couldve been using the bathroom." you told him half jokingly.

"then you would have had the door closed." he responded and caused you to laugh lightly.

you turned to ghost and leaned against the sink counter, "what can i do for you?" trying to pretend everything was normal between you two. you were too busy looking at your bandage to notice that ghost was close to you now, "i want to talk about the other day." ghost told you.

you stopped your actions to look up at ghost.

he was closer than expected - your bodies almost pressed against each other. "right..." was all you said. you looked down at the ground in embarrassment, "im sorry about that, i honestly dont know what i was thinking about being selfish to think that way." you told him truthfully.

ghost tilted your chin up to look back at him, "dont apologize." was all he said.

you felt yourself beginning to blush at his actions, "ghost..." you began but he soon cut you off with his words, "i know you're beating yourself up over it but dont. i want you to understand that no one in 141 is leaving your side. understand?" he told you.

you gave him a half smile, "i supp-"

"i dont want a 'i suppose so' response. i want you to say that you understand, we are sticking together." he told you. he finger still rested below your chin, "i understand..." you trailed off.

"good girl." he responded.

you blushed more that this response, "lets head out - itll be nightfall soon." he told you.

ghost left the room to leave you like a blushing idiot, your face was visibly red as you looked back into the mirror. ghost had never flirted with you in the past but...

"no, he didnt mean it like that. right?" you asked yourself.

ghost pov

i hadnt realized how i felt about y/n until the last few days.

i purposely didnt speak to her much to get my head straight but it was useless. i seen how tense she was because we hadnt been speaking, she wanted to talk but didnt know how to approach me.

i felt responsible for it as i couldve easily spoke up but i also didnt know how to approach her. i decided to stop thinking too much into it about what to say or how to say it and just sort of... followed my heart when i spoke to her.

i did exactly that.

my heart was pound with each word i said and action i did. i hoped she couldnt hear my heartbeat as it felt like it was going to pop out of my chest. wearing a mask came in handy for many purposes, she couldnt see my face become red with my words but i could see hers.

she looked pretty when she became shy, i had never seen her that way before.

seeing her in that light confirmed my thoughts further.

i had a bloody crush.

zeros pov

getting into alejandros base was easy, the shadows had some guards on patrol but they werent on high alert like we suspected.

ghost had warned us that graves most likely didnt give up on finding us, we were so far lucky as you all maneuvered through the base.

soap was on cameras with rudy, he was instructing you and ghost the best approach to try to reach alejandro.

"zero, theres one on the balcony. take em out quietly, theres two others in the distance that can hear the body drop if you used your pistol." soap warned in the ear piece.

you worked your way climbing to the balcony to reach the shadow, you could see ghost covering behind a wall. you stuck your knife into the shadow, covering his mouth in the process.

"not so bad after being shot, eh?" soap commented on your ability.

ghosts voice came through, "johnny, focus."

"right. you both can either take out the two shadows out with your gun or knife. the coast seems clear for a bit of ways now." soap instructed.

you looked down at ghost who better positioned himself, "take em out, zero. i got right." ghost told through comms.

you took out your silenced pistol to aim to the shadow to the left and pulled the trigger and ghost followed. the bodies dropped and you noticed a truck pulling up, "shit, ghost... theres a truck approaching. they might see you and the bodies."

ghost noted your words, "soap, visual?" he asked.

"theres a power bank nearby, if you turn it off then the shadows will be blind. theres four of them, seems like theyre splitting up." soap told ghost.

you noticed ghost reaching the power bank and cut the power. "good work, one of them is approaching you L.t. - he seems like a big boy. your knife skills will be useful." soap said.

ghost quickly moved his way around to hide from the approaching shadow, he was distracted turning the power back on and ghost took the opportunity to strike him down.

you and ghost continued to work your way through the shadows in a stealthy manner, luckily they werent alerted but you still had to work quickly to reach alejandro. you and ghost looked at the holding cell building in front of you.

"rudy, soap. coast is clear - make your way down here and we can get alejandro." ghost instructed.

you looked at ghost, he was still keeping an eye out for any shadows that might be lurking. you couldnt help but feel butterflies flutter in your stomach as you thought back to a few hours ago.

"take a picture." he said to you.

"what?" you laughed. he couldnt respond as you both heard footsteps approaching from behind, "lets get alejandro, yeah?" soap spoke with a smile.

"hes going to be upstairs, there should be a room across that unlocks the doors. lets take it slow and approach from there." rudy told us. ghost agreed, "a team gets alejandro, b team moves to get the rest of rudys men."

b team being you and rudy, "supply your men once you can. im sure graves is going to be alerted soon since his shadows have gone MIA." ghost ordered.

the team was able to take the quiet approach at first but one of the guards was able to alert graves before meeting his death, "shit..." ghost cursed as he, soap, and rudy was approaching heavy fire from enemies above.

you were a bit ahead of the team as you were able to move quickly compared to them, you noticed a room across that had weapons stored. "ghost... im going to try to work my way to high ground." you commed.

"what?" ghost responded back, "you stick with the team."

you rolled your eyes, "we're in a shit situation, we arent all going to make it out alive if we dont try to get the advantage." you told him, you already quickly made your way to the room and grabbed an AR that was fully kited but noticed a sniper sitting off to the side.

"bingo." you told yourself.

"zero!" you heard ghost call for you.

you were already rushing outside to see if you could work your way up to the rooftops as the building had skylights to get the advantage over the shadows, you noticed a latter and quickly climbed it.

as you looked down in on the windows you seen the shadows and ghosts team still fighting, a few had been taken down but still no real advancements were made - "im right here, sir." you told ghost before taking a shot at a shadow.

the body fell over the railing and fell down in front of rudy.

"what the hell was that?!" a shadow said to another.

you held your breath to help focus on the scattering shadows, they were panicking as they still had no clue where the shots were coming from.

you helped the team push forward as the shadows were becoming less and less, "good work," ghost said - "we're nearing alejandros cell, hurry down here and help rudy get his men.

"hard copy, rudy head down there. ill meet you." you told him.

rudy noted your words, you turned around to see a man standing near you with two others. "Now... what are you doing here." graves said before you could report back to ghost and the rest, you were met with a butt of a gun.

"zero? where are you?" rudy commed, "ghost! she isnt here." he continued.

you heard their voices but were too weak to respond, soon everything turned black.

"zero! how copy?!" ghost yelled.

to be continued...

please keep in mind this is a potential slow burn! smutty simon and fluffy simon will make an appearance at some point(s) in the series.

i do not own anything of call of duty or any of the characters. I rewrote some bits of the campaign to include 'zero’ for structure for the rest of my story.

taglist: @splicer14vex @hugs4coya @palomaxaxaxa @ahmya-4 @nameless-ghoul @ryunniez @luvr-bunnyy @junedevil @hungrhay @keliiii @churchofrain @growlingyu @cryingdvst @thatawokenhunter @shadylilac @sleepynyx

reblogs are greatly appreciated

[fictionfixations]

Kalim in RSA (and I get off-topic)

Spoilers for Book 4 and 5 (im sorry jamil enjoyers. but im so biased towards kalim its not even funny)

(this spiraled into me talking all about kalim in the actual game so oops)

imagine how different the story would be if kalim was in RSA

and we just hear from jamil about these snippets about his 'master' (although itd be weird they'd be separated if jamil tended to him often to where he'd prob be like his personal servant? idk what situation would have jamil talk to us anyway but yknow maybe we get close, he's like the other friend who seems cool? he'll basically help us out with knowledge about things, fleshing out the world a bit more, as the only sophomore in the group cause he kind of feels responsible maybe? then BETRAYAL)

and then eventually partway through the school year KALIM IS THERE (we know why though) and he somehow ends up housewarden.

i have a dislike against RSA. its very petty and its kind of because they keep winning (and they dont even mean ill intent which is worse! …but its kind of like kalims kindness. and i like kalim but that might make me biased. SO. thus the existence of this.)

we probably wouldnt like him much right? (and i imagine he'd get his fair share of bullies. we find this out. he laughs it off like 'nah, im used to attempted assassinations and everything. this isnt nearly as bad.')

(id do the clapping between but ppl get annoyed, and i get annoyed) CUE KALIM BEING MORE THAN SMILES AND WE LEARN THAT ABOUT HIM !!

HES aware enough that he can cook food good using JUST magic (which takes precision to use it as good or even better than your hands right??. its in his labwear vignette. ruggies teaching him ofc so ruggie wants it to be good cause hes taking leftovers, BUT CMOONNN he can learn. ..and yeah it took a few years for jamil to teach kalim antidotes to common poisons so he could do it easy but kalims hardly a master at making potions so i call that good)

AND in book 5 he noticed vil had like the same look as jamil to where he knew something was going to go wrong (aka the poisoning)

maybe its to show how much kalim doesnt belong in NRC and thats why they dont pull the 'more than he looks at first glance' like cater with glimpses in vignettes and etc

but like COME ON.

the sultan might be dumb (i recently re-watched aladdin) but at least he knew enough that he didnt want jafar marrying his daughter cause hes OLD and also he doesnt want to force jasmine into anything (good intentions. im sure if they just waited and she didnt find a suitor in time he would've just CHANGED THE LAW like he did IN THE MOVIE because he wants her to be happy!)

ALSo he tried to look through the law jafar claimed to say that would make her have to be married to the vizier or whatever (aka jafar) but then jafar just pulled it away before he could (and then attempted to mind control him when he refused) mans was prepared to spend hours reading over it even if he didnt understand it but he wasnt given the chance

also kalim is worryingly nonchalant about stuff. i mean. you can get used to horrible things to where they just feel so normal and uninmportant i guess? but poor bby. hes been like 'i want to keep myself alive because if i die then someone else will get punished.' or like about poisoning, if someone has a change of mind and hes already dead, then he cant do something to help them, so he has to make sure he'll live.

..i really doubt that hes just. so oblivious. maybe in denial, but still.

anyway i got very off topic. my bad. and to be fair we do get to see more of him at some parts. but hhh

okay listen. denial. (i am also a believer that if when kalim confronted jamil, if he said he didnt do anything kalim wouldve believed him. bruh gave him excuses like '..i just got tired, right?')

"The real Jamil would never do such things! He's a good guy. He's always helping me, giving me a shoulder to lean on, and—" (Book 4 • Chapter 33)

we just. dont see him really crumble?? he just. keeps being optimistic

we convince him jamil is bad. he resolves to punch him for being a traitor and THATS IT?

he sobs at the end of jamils overblot but then he goes back to being optimistic like 'lets be equals!' (..it feels like he didnt really learn much though as he's still 'I didn't notice--' 'I--' and i wish he couldve gotten more awareness. cause he makes it about himself yknow and blaming himself but COME ON put some blame on jamil PLEASE? or like. ANYONE ELSE. you also cant notice shit if no one ever tells you about it that you dont even know to look for it! he doesnt want to be cautious about who he can trust so like, why would he think to doubt the person who hes known his entire life??? especially if its something that was just always there that it feels natural, how could he know better? hes sheltered! so someone shouldve explained it to him, made him realize things! aghhh)

heres the book 5 one btw

"I got a real bad feeling when I saw the look on your face after Neige's rehearsal. It was practically the same look I saw on Jamil's face when he lost control of himself over holiday break." (Book 5 • Chapter 62)

And I mean maybe he did learn in that he's more aware of this now than others because he knows what people could look like because of Jamil, but I feel like a lot of things were just so unsaid. That the first time blindsided him, but now he's kind of a little more worried about something happening while he's there that he didn't notice so now he's trying to notice things more??? Or like maybe having gut feelings that he'd ignored before because it was Jamil but now knowing better?

So he can be aware. but then the rest of the time he's just thought of as dumb or an idiot or forgetful and it just makes me sad. and i mean i get that he wants to see the best in people but we never really talk about how its more that its denial. a refusal to see it, and i want to understand why

or maybe its because he sees the good in people that he trusts they'll do the right thing. or he believes that the good outweigh the bad (although i dont know if it'd be the same case if it was someone he knew who got hurt)

like. okay back in book 5

"Besides, I would bet there isn't a single person in Scarabia who hasn't gotten help from Jamil at some point. Am I right?"

"See? There you go. He's been a model vice housewarden. In fact, he's put me to shame. He let dark thoughts get the better of him for a brief time. Other than that, he's a perfectly capable guy." (Book 5 • Chapter 10)

He justifies it with that Jamil isn't the only one to blame (he also blames himself), and that Jamil hadn't done anything wrong before then

which. AGAIn. means that in his eyes the good outweigh the bad. jamils better at his duties so jamil should stay as vice housewarden.

this was the first time jamil did anything bad so it'd be fine, it was just an error in judgment

AGHHh

nothing about the fact that his closest friend he views as a brother

"He's grown up with Jamil since a young age, and considers him a brother in all but blood." (from the In-game Album)

who would be the last person he'd expect to do such a thing BETRAYS HIM, planning to make everyone (or well just the people in scarabia) turn against him

like. that has to be a shock right??? AND THEN HE JUST. welcomes him back into his life like it was nothing im just. kALIM. SWEETIE.

and i mean i get its for the best since if anyone knew what actually happened anything could happen to jamil (and jamil has his own reasons i get that but this is about kalim)

but he still hangs around him. has him as his aide. so while something did change, it also feels like nothing changed at the same time.

"I'm always chosen. Always. That's such an obvious truth that I never even consciously processed it. But now I see that was only possible because of Jamil's constant sacrifices. He created that "truth" in my mind by always holding back. By always letting me win. ...It stings. "Galling" doesn't even begin to describe it." (Book 5 • Chapter 30)

also like one of the very few times he expresses how he feels about something (how it hurts not to be chosen for the first time, and/or that he was only chosen because of someone else so he wants to work hard)

and then grim shuts him down with "You wanna talk about galling? Imagine how I feel not even makin' the cut for the audition to start with."

like. COME ON.

Kalim responds with, "Ah, you're right. My bad! I didn't mean to rub it in. Goodness, there I go again! I'm super sorry, honest."

and yeah it can seem kind of spoiled but also. its probably because of that that he doesnt want to share his troubles because he's very privileged so it feels like he might not deserve to act like its anything when everyone else has to work so much harder, right?

AND ITS JUST. REAFFIRMING TO HIM THAT his troubles are nothing compared to anyone elses and im just aghhauihduadhw

he also cares a lot about other people (people like him as housewarden because he listens to their troubles and supports them) so i just. want him to be able to take a moment to care about himself and just admit these things that he usually doesnt get the chance to.

i got a lot more worked up than i meant to

[dnfnoodles]

i know this conversation was already had yesterday but thinking about it, i just dont know what else dteam couldve possibly done in that situation. george apologizes to caiti but floats the idea that her friends influenced her(hes probably right) and twitter freaks out, dream talks about non-verbal consent, a real thing that very much applied here, and twitter freaks out. anyone who pointed out inconsistencies was called a victim blamer and ccs themselves did this. if george tried to point out that caitis story didnt line up in certain parts he wouldve been fucking mauled by twitter. like yeah maybe if he did that it wouldve been worse at first but gotten better eventually but idk i feel like unless someone else spoke up in defense of him ccs and twitter alike wouldve hounded him until he quit.

and i do hate ccs who succumb to twitter pressure but this was a really tough situation and i dont know how they couldve gotten out in a better position than they are now. i feel like they did the best they could even if it wasnt perfect and some parts did make the situation a little worse. george apologizing for what he actually did while reaffirming that he hadnt done it maliciously was the right move imo. also it just shows that hes a kind person at heart because he did understand that even if caiti wasnt truthful she was hurt by him regardless of his intentions or others influence.

idk anyways i hate every single cc who jumped in to attack george for clout or to makes themselves seem like a good person and they made the situation a million times worse. if none of them had opened their mouths i really think things couldve gone differently.

⬆️

[thedeafprophet]

okay one last thing on the somerton thing.

im really not trying to do the whole 'i never liked him anyway thing' here but. it really goes to show how sometimes casual misogyny is just accepted in media analysis. many people i know had long since been turned off by this guys behaviour (which was apparently worse then i knew - dude straight up went on rants that queer women had it 'better' then men)

and im just. the fact that this wouldve been allowed to continue if not for the plagarism coming out?

I think there's gotta be some real thinkin on the type of behavior allowed here, and how often men, even queer men, get away with shitting on women

[serenescribe]

hi hi Ell 👋 I wanted to send a prompt, so i hope youll find this one nice to think about :)

So we know in canon that Lilia trained Silver and Sebek while they were kids, and that his training was a bit unorthodox to say the least. We also know that Silver thinks the world of his father, that he feels indebted to him for life and that he'd give anything to repay that debt. With those facts I offer you a beloved scenario of mine where Lilia trains Silver and takes it too far but doesn't realise it until its too late.

Maybe he's making him spar, maybe he's asking him to do some insane physical effort, whatever it is he's determined to have Silver execute it perfectly. And Silver is tired, because he's like 12, he's been doing this since dawn and he barely ate any of the lunch his father made him (lets face it it wouldve been worse if he ate it). At this point his body is screaming at him to just stop and rest but he refuses to back down before he gives his father what he wants. The issue is that since he's not feeling his best, he's actually doing worse than he was at the beginning and Lilia of course notices. And maybe its the fact that this setting is similar to the one he was in back when he trained recruits as a general, or maybe he got frustrated that he couldnt manage to get him to do better but Lilia decides to try a different approach to motivate his son. He gets mean; taunting and berating Silver for not making any progress, telling him that maybe they should just stop his training altogether if this is the best he can do. But instead of getting fired up and angry like Lilia expected, like his recruits used to do, Silver completely breaks down. He slumps on the ground in front of him weeping, begging for just one more chance and promising he can do better. The mental and physical exhaustion weighs heavily on him and he swears he won't be a burden in future sessions, swears that he'll train day and night if need be to improve but he pleads his father not to give up on him. And Lilia, completely caught off guard by the situation, has to figure out how the hell to comfort his son and convince him that he didnt mean any of the words he spoke

hope you have a fun time writing bye bye!! 🌟

the way this prompt broke my heart when it first hit my inbox :') but at least it's hurt/comfort for once rather than flat out angst...? i hope i did it justice!

(also thank you to lacky my beloved for helping me with some dialogue bc oh my god writing mean dialogue killed me ;;; sobs)

Clang!

The sound of sword against sword reverberates through the air, accompanied by the haggard, weary sound of someone panting. Lilia narrows his eyes, his sword still outstretched, pressed against that of his opponent — his son, Silver, who is also his student.

Silver’s chest expands and contracts, lips parted as he sucks in another deep breath. The practice blade in his hand trembles before finally, he gives in. The sword drops to the ground below with a clatter.

“I yield,” Silver says, voice strained, dropping to his knees. He raises his arms, conceding in defeat.

But all Lilia can think, staring at his son before him, is that this is not good enough.

He knows what Silver is capable of, has been training his son by his own hands for the past few years. Silver shows plenty of promise, and it is up to Lilia to hone that potential to a perfect sheen, be it physical training or weaponry, such as the sword fights they practise so often. Lessons on survival, giving him tasks to complete in the elements. Things that Silver takes to like a duck to water, obediently heeding Lilia’s every word, carrying out his instructions with ease.

So to witness him concede so easily, dropping to the ground, averting his gaze as his body trembles?

Lilia is disappointed.

In a way, it reminds him of his days as the general during the wars he’d fought. There had been many a soldier who had not taken his instructions seriously, always putting in the bare minimum until he whipped them into shape. All he had to do was set his cold, calculating eyes on them, lips spouting cruel, judgemental words, before they’d be roaring to go. Pride is one of the things that the fair folk value deeply, after all, and back then, the many recruits under his command had not taken kindly to Lilia’s implications that they were as useful as the dirt under his heels.

And so Lilia opens his mouth, and says:

“If this is the best you can muster, then why bother?”

Silver stiffens.

“I’m disappointed, Silver. I’ve seen peasants with no training do better than this.” Lilia’s lips thin, a hand resting on his hip, practice sword still hanging from his other hand. “If you cannot even master the basics, how do you expect to get any better? No, better yet, how do you possibly expect to guard Malleus as his knight if this is the best you can do?”

Lilia’s eyes narrow as he drops into a crouch, arms folded across his knees as he meets his son’s wide eyes.

“I didn’t teach you to be this awful,” Lilia utters, voice entirely flat. “If this is the way you’re treating your training, then perhaps we ought to stop it altogether.” He curls his lip. “Is that not what you’d prefer, given your demeanour?”

Rising from the ground, Lilia holds out his sword, pointing the tip of the blunted blade towards his son’s crouching form.

“I shall allow you one last chance,” he breathes. “Pick up your sword, Silver. Get up now.”

Silver doesn’t respond.

Lilia clenches his teeth. “Pick it up!”

It is only then, when Silver uncurls himself to reach for the discarded blade at the side with trembling hands, that Lilia falters. He watches through widening eyes as Silver raises his head and, instead of the fiery enthusiasm and determination he saw so often in so many of his old soldiers, there is a watery desperation wavering in those big, auroral eyes. Silver’s lips tremble, his movements sluggish, and as he shoves himself onto his feet, Lilia realises—

Silver isn’t being lazy. He’s swaying from side to side, almost stumbling over his own feet, shaking uncontrollably as he raises his blade to meet Lilia’s own.

Oh, he realises, spotting something glistening along those rounded cheeks. Silver is crying.

In that instant, any trace of General Vanrouge, feared and renowned amidst those of the Valley, vanishes, dissipating in the blink of an eye. Left in its place is only Lilia Vanrouge, father of one.

His sword drops to the ground with a clatter. Lilia surges forward, any thoughts of training pushed squarely out of his mind as he wraps his hands around Silver’s shoulders, staring at him with his heart rattling against his chest. Shit, Lilia thinks. He’s well and truly fucked up now, hasn’t he?

“Silver,” Lilia starts, struggling for the words. What can he possibly say here? He reaches up, wipes away a stray tear that rolls down his son’s cheek. “Silver, you— you can drop your sword now.”

“No!” The outburst startles him, Silver’s usually quiet disposition interrupted by the force of his refusal. Silver all but collapses, pulling Lilia down with him; his knees buckle, and he hits the ground with a painful thud. Silver’s free hand reaches up to wipe at his tears to no avail. “I-I can do it! I can fight—”

“You can’t, Silver—”

“P-Please, just—” Hanging his head, Silver sobs brokenly, and it shatters something within Lilia. How had he not noticed all along, how absolutely exhausted Silver was? “J-Just give me one more chance,” his son begs, shaking his head. The grip on his sword loosens, causing the weapon to clatter to the ground. “I swear, I’ll train day and night to improve, I w-won’t be a burden anymore, please—”

“Silver,” Lilia repeats, voice firm, fingers curling tight around his son’s shoulders. He— he’s taken completely aback, caught off guard; he’d expected something akin to the fiery resolution of the soldiers of the past, not… not this.

Silver is twelve, a tiny part of Lilia remembers. His heart seizes again, a reminder that perhaps this time, he had gone way too far. Silver is young, and for Lilia to have treated him the way he would have treated a grown fae…

He’s not the general anymore. There’s no need for him to train Silver to such rigid standards.

Slowly, Lilia leans forward, wrapping his arms around Silver’s back. He pulls the sobbing boy against his chest, murmuring soft words under his breath in a bid to reassure him. And for a while, that’s all they do — Lilia, holding his son in his arms, ignoring the ache in his knees as he rubs Silver’s back gently, and Silver, who blubbers apologies and pleads for leniency until his begging collapses into crying, and he buries his head in the fabric of Lilia’s sweat-stained shirt.

Eventually, when Silver’s cries peter out into a sniffling silence, Lilia pulls away from him. He reaches out to cup his cheek, thumbing at the tearstained skin with a sad smile across his lips. “How do you feel now, dear?”

Silver bites his lip, eyes flicking away. He sniffles, before he mumbles, “I… I’m okay now, Father. I can fight.”

“I think we’ve had enough sparring for today, actually,” Lilia sighs wearily. When he sees the way Silver stiffens at his words, he adds, “That is a decision made on my account, not yours. I am not disappointed in you, Silver. Far from it; I am only disappointed in myself for not noticing how exhausted you are… far more than usual, anyway.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise,” Lilia chides, though his tone is light. He exhales. “I think we should perhaps clean up for the day. And then I’ll see to dinner, hm?”

“I’ll help you!” Silver blurts out, a little shakily, and Lilia smiles. Even after everything, Silver is still so willing to help… Truly, Lilia would not have faulted him at all if he would have liked to take some time to himself, especially after he so carelessly spouted such cruel words towards his son.

As Lilia rises to his feet, holding out a hand to help his son up, Silver meets his eyes. He hiccups. “So… you’re not mad at me…?”

“I am not,” Lilia assures, leaning in to pull the boy into another hug. “And…” He squeezes his eyes shut. “I am truly sorry, Silver, for pushing you that far. I should not have said what I did.”

And from the way Silver relaxes in his hold, pulling away to give him a small smile, Lilia knows that this will be enough, for now.

[yumeyleo]

i want to die cause im terrified of aging, im scared of getting older, We're dying anyways, everything we do will be pointless in a few several decades. And in the past i would take that as a sign to live life as i want to, but i want to be remembered. But i wont be remembered because i wont make some uber big discovery or write an awesome book or do anything impactful. and im fine with that, ive accepted it. Life is pointless, joys are fleeting, all this world is is a tragedy, that sounds so emo and edgy but fuck itim alwaedy writing so many emberassing things today, im gonna hate myself in the morning ;-;. most of us, we're all dying anyway, some of us faster than others. I wanna die cause im sick of having to do stuff... cause im lazy, basically. i think death is both punishment and a gift. I think i deserve to die for all ive done on this earth, but it'll also be a treat for not being too unaware of my actions. (teh slef awareness makes me better, but also makes me worse) Theres also just this deeprooted (maybe rooted in my soul) (i dont understand souls, i want to, though) need in me to die, to feel death. its been there since day one. i sound so ew omg...i was too busy trying to comprehend how to tell left from right and how to tie my shoelaces to realize it. But anyways, the need in me to want to be hurt worse than all those around me has always been obvious. ive always been a bad person for that. actually, i never comprehended death for a while. when i did i didnt think much of it, until i thought of whats after. I was scared of death because of that thought. Maybe i still am, but now i am okay? to die. i want to find out whats after. why i want to die is something i cant understand myself most of the time, this is the basics. Sometimes i wanna live. I actually hate that i idealize about suicide, id rather just live. i know i have no future though, so ive given up on mostly everything. Its obvious in my academic decline. i wouldve been a smart girl if it werent for all of this, i mourn that i guess. i like my friends, i love them. and i want to live to have more happy and silly moments with them. The happiness i get from them never overpowers the other stuff, i wish they could. Im sad i dont want to live. id really like to live sometimes. its actually frustrating why cant my emo ass just want to LIVE??? i really wish i hadnt stopped being friends with him, but i know what he said wasnt right. im certain he wouldve made fun of me for this

[toffeacademia]

Random Ninjago Thought #3

Jaya was kinda...toxic in its early stages.

I remember the scene in Skybound where the two of them are in the tower, and it mad eme realize, Jay was really stepping over the boundaries. Nya even said that they discussed it in a comment in Rebooted. But the beautiful thing about Skybound is that Jay learned that his way of showing affection to Nya was actually making her uncomfortable and even unhappy.

In my head, Jay's way of showing affection is very outward and I doubt he knows alot about boundaries, but I think that's purely because of the way he's been raised. He's raised alone in a junkyard, and from Snakebitten in Rise of Snakes, its clear that he didnt have as much privacy. Essentially, he's always shared his life with his parents, sort of where they shared with him and he shared with them. I don't think he was in a situation where someone didnt share with him in a relationship until he met Nya.

He learned what boundaries are when he met Nya. Nya's grown up without parents, and the only parental figure in her life wouldve been Kai. Knowing Kai, he probably was very protective (still is tbh) but he knows his sister has her own interests and life of her own, I think he realized that when she was revealed to be Samurai X.

Now what happens when you put Jay and Nya together?

At first, its sweet. They barely know each other, but both are attracted to one another. Plus, they start caring for one another.

I think at some point Nya realized that Jay was invading her personal space, and they wouldve had the conversation about it.

Then throw in the love triangle (that's a discussion for another post).

But anyways, this fight about boundaries, independence and respect results in their breakup. However, Jay doesn't let her go, and even worse, Nya is at a tense point in her life where she's struggling to find herself.

Ocen she's fully open with Jay, letting go of the anger, and she tells him how's she's been feeling, Jay realizes what he's been doing to her. Nya hasn't felt like a proper part of the group, and from then on, he doesn't refer to her as just "his girl" but also as "a ninja". (I remember a specific line from The Way Back - finale episode of Skybound).

Thus, this sort of bond of respect and love for one another makes them both a much better couple and an even better match for one another. Nya learns that she can be herself and still be respected as a ninja just as much as the other ninja while still being in a relationship with the guy she loves; Jay learns that boundaries are necessary, and aren't necessarily a negative thing, but can make a relationship stronger.

Plus, watching the seasons after Skybound just make seeing them so much more heartwarming. Just look at how far they've come now.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Ive made through chapters 4-7 today and good god, I feel like i had basically nothing to say about acotar as I was reading it but with this book theres so much to talk about for some reason, its wild. Truly, I did not realize how much I liked Feyre in the first book until I was under threat of losing her

Now, I will say that Feyre seems in-character so far, shes still the same woman but traumatized, but I am worried for her. Tamlin is a whole different story though, SJM might as well shoot him dead right in front of me for how thoroughly hes being character assassinated. Like, if Tamlin actually cares about Feyre as a person and not just in a douchy, possessive alphahole way, which he should because Tamlin was not that kind of guy previously, then he would force Feyre to train so she can defend herself if necessary, not forbid her from it. Even if he didnt want her to use her magical powers, surely he would make her practice with her knife or with a sword or even with her bow just to be safe, because hes not always gonna be there

I think his actions do continue to make sense if you look at them from his perspective, but I also maintain that he's doing a really bad job at responding to Feyre. But also, its so laughably obvious what sjm is doing by having Tamlin say shit like "you were stolen from me", shes trying to paint him as some objectifying asshole. Even Lucien calling her "Tamlin's bride" feels like its part of all this, and I know Ianthe is gonna turn out to be a traitor and a rapist at some point, so it really comes across as an attempt to villify the entire spring court for its association with Tamlin

Speaking of Lucien, I genuinely think part of the reason Feylin is doing so badly in this book is that his dynamic with Tamlin is completely different now. For some reason hes all like "oh, my High Lord" instead of "my good friend Tamlin", he suddenly cant say a word against him when he was talking to shit to him just a few months ago in-uinverse. Like, if their dynamic was the same as it was in acotar, Lucien wouldve probably been like "hey man, I know youre stressed and I get it, I know what its like to watch the love of my life get brutally murdered I dont know what its like to have her magically ressurected again but thats neither here nor there, but Feyre is clearly not happy being inside all day and you need a break, go take her out on a date in the woods, I'll stay here and take care of everything, dont even worry about it" or gotten him to comprise with Feyre or chill tf out or SOMETHING but because theres suddenly this rigid hierarchy in the spring court in order to make the night court look better

Speaking of the night court, Ive heard some stuff about it feeling very orientalist but it still managed to completely blindsight me with its badness. Feyre got fucking harem pants to wear, really? And a short-sleeved croptop, and no fucking shoes, probably because Rhys didnt want Feyre throwing shoes at him again. That was the one moment in this book that brought me genuine joy btw, I would read a thousand fanfics about her just throwing shit at him

Anyway, speaking of my guy (derogatory) Rhysand Nolastname, hes so incredibly annoying I dont even have any coherent thoughts about him right now, like, if I were to write down what I think of him I would just write "he fuckinh pisses me off" over and over again. Im actually a really big fan of edgy shadow bois, but only if theyre like, sad and angry and closed off, if theyre like Rhysand and theyre all flirty and teasing and cocky and shit, theyre just annoying and nothing else. And the romance has barely even started yet, I cant imagine how much worse the flirting is gonna get later. Not to mention all these desperate and obvious attempts by sjm to make him sympathetic and morally good now, its honestly pretty pathetic

Now Im gonna be real with you, I didnt get a lot of sleep yesterday and I can feel myself and the things Im writing getting less and less coherent, so Im just gonna hit you with the very last of my thoughts bullet point style

The fact that Amarantha apparently didnt actually go rogue and it was all part of Hybern's plan feels misogynistic ngl

Ianthe's entire character already feels so misogynistic and slutshame-y and she hasnt even assaulted anyone yet

Something about Mor bothers me, I cant quite put my finger on it but its there. I think I do like her for annoying Rhys though

God, Im gonna have so much to say about the Illyrians but for now, its awfully bold of Rhysand to be like "they wasted no time throwing themselves before her feet" when THATS WHAT HE DID

Thats it for now