#and it’s one of the major reasons why I don’t miss my parents. because being around them requires me to be in more pain by default

[lovesuhng]

fake

fake dating, strangers to lovers, fluff w.c: 4.5k

The college exams were really getting to Johnny, but another complicated situation was troubling his mind: his parents' pressure for him to seriously date someone. It was no secret that Johnny was focused on his studies, but he also didn't miss a chance to have fun with friends and even get involved with some people, yet he never started a serious relationship.

One of Johnny's cousins' wedding was approaching and his mother asked him to be there, once again bringing up the fact that he wasn’t dating anyone. In response, Johnny ended up saying he was in a relationship, which was a big lie.

“Why did you tell your parents that?” Jaehyun, Johnny's friend and classmate, asked him while they were in the cafeteria.

“To see if they would stop pressuring me so much, but now I have a week to find a girl to pretend to be my girlfriend.”

“But that’s easy, look at how many women you’ve hooked up with here.”

The fact was that Johnny was well-known and very desired at college. His charm, good humor, and his sculptural body attracted a lot of attention.

“Yeah, but I don’t want to and can’t just take anyone. It’s a wedding!”

So, Jaehyun started suggesting various possible candidates, but Johnny had very convincing excuses. Then Jaehyun looked around the cafeteria and spotted you.

“Why not talk to her?”

Johnny looked in your direction, seeing you laugh at something your friend was saying. You both were in the same major, but you started college after Johnny, making him your senior. You and Johnny had talked a few times, but you were far from being friends. You were known for being a dedicated and very reserved student, not fond of attending the college parties, which made contact with him rare.

“But how am I supposed to ask her? I can’t just go up to her and say ‘do you want to pretend to be my girlfriend for a few days?’”

“That’s not my problem. Think about it, maybe fate will bring her your way in the next few days.”

And it seemed fate was indeed on Johnny’s side. He had gone to talk to the professor of the subject he had been a teaching assistant for the previous semester to resolve some issues. Upon arriving at the office door, he found you talking to the professor, saying you had some questions and needed help to finalize the final project for the subject.

“Unfortunately, I can’t help you because I need to make a short trip to take care of some personal matters.” That’s when the professor noticed someone at the door, directed his gaze to Johnny and asked him to come in. “But it seems you’re in luck. I think you know Johnny. He was my TA last term, and I think he can help you.”

“Really?!” You said, quite excited and hopeful.

“I can help, we just need to figure out some days and times that work, so I can also study for the final exams.”

“Perfect. Are you free after classes tomorrow?”

And so, you arranged to meet in the library the next day for Johnny to help you with the project. He was already waiting for you and it didn’t take long for you to arrive, a bit flustered trying to balance your notebook and notes in your hands, which made Johnny chuckle.

“Sorry for the delay, but the professor wouldn’t stop talking.”

“It’s fine, I just got here.”

After organizing your things on the table and turning on the notebook, you started asking questions and sharing some ideas you were considering for the project. Johnny proved to be very helpful, definitely more than you expected. After some time in the library, you left together heading to the exit, when Johnny offered you a ride since he had a car and saw you were heading to the bus stop. Initially, you tried to refuse but ended up accepting with the condition that you would stop at a coffee shop near your house.

Once there, you placed your orders, which you insisted on paying for, and began talking about various topics, like the similarities of being only children, your tattoos and their meanings, the reasons for choosing that major, and so on. You were discovering more about each other's lives when suddenly Johnny heard someone call his name and recognized his mother’s voice.

“My dear! It’s so good to see you here.”

“You too, mom. What are you doing here?”

“I came to buy some things for your cousin’s wedding and decided to stop for a coffee.” She then looked at you with a very friendly smile. You stood up to greet Johnny’s mother.

“Mom, this is…”

“Don’t tell me she’s your girlfriend?!”

You were about to say you were just a university colleague when Johnny interrupted.

“Yes. My girlfriend.”

Confusion was written all over your face. While being pulled into a hug by Johnny’s mother, you looked at him, seeking an explanation, he just whispered, “I’ll explain later, but please help me.”

“I can’t believe Johnny is finally dating and with such a beautiful woman like you.”

“Ah, thank you…”

“I’m leaving now. It was a pleasure meeting you, dear. And I look forward to seeing you at the wedding.”

“Of course, mom.” Johnny hugged you by the shoulders, startling you a bit. “We’ll definitely be there.”

After saying goodbye to Johnny’s mom with fake smiles, you pulled away from him and demanded an explanation.

“Long story short: I lied to my mom saying I had a girlfriend and she wants me to bring her to my cousin’s wedding. I hadn’t said who it was yet and I was going to talk to you about it before, but then my mom showed up and all this happened. I’m sorry for putting you in this situation.”

“And you think this will work?”

Johnny held your hand and kept his gaze on your eyes. That gave you butterflies, something you didn’t understand why it was happening.

“They say desperate times call for desperate measures. Will you help me?”

You took a deep breath and said, bringing a smile to the man in front of you, “You helped me, so… we have a wedding to go to.”

-

Since you had only a few days before the wedding, your meetings became more frequent, both inside and outside the university. Johnny helped you finish the project, which you presented impeccably and you also studied together for exams, each for your respective subjects, keeping each other company, thus forming a friendship between you.

Already on vacation and on the eve of the wedding, some final details were decided: the wedding and the reception would be in a neighboring town, so Johnny asked you to bring comfortable clothes for the trip and you created a story about your relationship in case anyone asked (you studied at the same university, Johnny always saw you in the corridors and fell in love with you, asked you out, and you had been dating for 2 months).

On Saturday morning, the day of the wedding, Johnny was already at your doorstep, waiting by the car and laughed when he saw you walking towards him with curlers in your hair, holding the dress and a small suitcase.

“Why are you like that?” Johnny laughed as he helped you put your things in the car.

“To speed things up, of course. We would be late if I did this at the hotel and I hate being late. And this isn’t the way to greet your ‘girlfriend’ on a saturday morning.”

“You're right. Good morning, my dear.” Johnny said, putting his hands on your waist and then laughing at the face you made. So, you decided to be as affectionate as he was. Standing on tiptoe, you gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, leaving him very surprised.

“Good morning, honey. Now let’s go, the road is long.”

That little kiss, innocent as it was, significantly affected Johnny, who took a while to process everything and got into the car.

A little over two hours later, you were at the hotel, and since you were returning the same day, Johnny only booked one room for you to get ready for the wedding. You checked in, ate something, and started preparing. You had already showered and were now doing your makeup. Johnny was in the shower but soon came out, complaining that he couldn’t put on the tie.

“I have no idea how to do this, I think I’ll go without it.”

“Calm down, Johnny, I’ll–” You stopped talking when you saw him with wet, messy hair, the first four buttons of his shirt open, giving a glimpse of his chest, and pants perfectly fitted to his body. Even like that, you thought Johnny was the most attractive man in the world and didn’t want to imagine how he would look when fully ready. You approached him, hoping he wouldn’t notice your blushing face, started buttoning his shirt and tied his tie perfectly. Unlike you, who was very “focused,” Johnny looked at every detail of your face, how your eyelashes were long, how your eyes were mesmerizing, how your lips seemed so soft that he wanted to kiss you right there, but he was snapped out of his trance when you patted his shoulder.

“How do you know how to tie ties?”

“I had to wear one for an event and watched some tutorials online.” You said, smiling. “I’ll add the final touches to my makeup and put on the dress.”

It didn’t take long for Johnny to get ready, so he waited for you until he heard, “Johnny, can you help me?” from the bathroom. He entered the room, seeing you struggling to zip up the dress, and quickly positioned himself behind you. This was your moment to hold your breath at his proximity as he slowly zipped up the dress. You felt your arm hair stand up when his breath touched your neck and when his hands touched your waist. You looked at each other in the mirror, and a smile appeared on your lips.

“So, how do I look?”

Johnny, even nervous, tried to talk to you more casually. “You’re so beautiful we might end up going from a fake relationship to a fake marriage.” He laughed at what he said, knowing he was trying to give you confidence. Johnny turned you to face him and said in a more serious tone, giving you goosebumps for the second time that day, “But seriously, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”

Arriving at the wedding venue, Johnny extended his hand to help you out of the car. You held his hand, intertwining your fingers with his, after all, you had to appear as a couple from the moment you stepped into the wedding. You started to get nervous about it, but when you looked into Johnny’s eyes, you felt calmer. As the wedding was about to start, you only waved to Johnny’s parents, who were radiant with the fact that their son was “dating.” The wedding proceeded wonderfully. Mark, Johnny’s cousin, and his bride were happy, and from a distance, it was clear they truly loved each other. His speech made most people cry, including you, which Johnny noticed. In an unthinkable act, he wiped your tears and held your hand, caressing it afterward. You were startled for a second but then gave a subtle smile.

After the ceremony, there was the reception, where you had to really act like a couple. Johnny’s parents greeted you right away. His mother kept talking about how beautiful you were as a couple, made for each other, while his father said he was delighted to see that you made Johnny very happy. A few minutes later, your “mother-in-law” took you to meet Johnny’s aunts, leaving him alone with his father.

“I’m so happy for you, son. It’s clear how happy this girl makes you.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Just by looking at you, it’s obvious you’re head over heels for her.”

Johnny didn’t respond to his father, unsure of what to say. He just looked at where you were, cheerfully chatting with his aunts, fitting in like family. Your eyes crinkled as you smiled, your contagious laugh making him smile unconsciously. You noticed his gaze, smiled genuinely, as if to say everything was fine, and it was then Johnny realized he was actually falling for his fake girlfriend.

The party continued. You had already had a lot of fun with Johnny's aunts, talked to the newlyweds and even danced a bit. Now you were sitting next to Johnny, just waiting for the right time to head back to the hotel, after all, the weather was turning and you would need to hit the road before it started raining. That’s when the bride announced that it was time for the much-anticipated bouquet toss. You weren’t planning to join the others, but your “mother-in-law” pulled you in, you gave Johnny a look pleading for help, but he just gave you a "can't do anything" expression.

There you were, in the middle of some women, trying to give polite smiles but clearly not wanting to be in that situation. Then, you heard the bride’s voice saying that the next one to catch the bouquet would have to get married and soon started the countdown.

3

2

1

And by the irony of fate, the bouquet came your way and you caught it before it hit your face. Your wide-eyed expression made Johnny laugh as he rushed towards you. He was about to speak when his very excited mother arrived, saying:

“I knew that bouquet was yours! Now I want a photo of you two.”

You approached Johnny and whispered for only him to hear: “You two are the same, love taking photos of everything!” In the days you spent more time together, you discovered that photography was one of Johnny’s passions and that he was incredible at it.

When you saw Johnny’s mother positioning the phone for a picture of the two of you, you felt Johnny’s hand on your waist, pulling you closer and you felt a kind of warmth there. You posed for the photo, but you didn’t look like a couple. That’s when Johnny’s mother, quite cleverly, said, “Son, kiss your girlfriend!”

Johnny’s eyes widened. Now what? He couldn’t make you do anything like that. He couldn’t keep up this act. He was about to tell his mother the whole truth when he felt your hand on the back of his neck. There was a brief exchange of looks and you said, “I’m sorry.”

He didn’t have time to respond as your lips on his prevented him from doing so. It would be cliché to say that “it seemed like everything around had disappeared and only you two were there,” but that’s what was really happening. The gentle touch you gave to the back of Johnny’s neck with the hand not holding the bouquet was reciprocated by the way he held your waist. Johnny knew he was in trouble but didn’t want to think about it at that moment. For him, it was like a dream, but he was “awakened” when you pulled away, only to see the man in front of you with his eyes closed. You couldn’t help but smile when he opened his eyes and you ended up wiping the gloss that had stayed on his lips.

After a while, you decided to return to the hotel and, just as you arrived, a heavy rain started.

“It’s like we predicted this would happen,” said Johnny. He asked you to go to the room to start organizing your things while he settled a few things at the reception. The time you spent alone in the room was enough for you to think about everything that had happened, how much you loved being near Johnny, how welcomed you felt by his family, how nervous you got when you had to pretend to be his girlfriend and how much you loved that kiss. But, did he feel anything for you? Did he feel something with that kiss?

Some time later, Johnny returned to the room, and he didn’t look very happy. “The rain is getting worse and some trees have fallen on the road, so we’ll have to spend the night here.”

“Oh, that’s fine then.”

“You don’t mind us sharing the room?”

“Of course not, John, it’s okay. I’ll sleep on that little sofa and you can take the bed,” you said, pointing to the small sofa in the corner of the room.

“Are you crazy? I’ll sleep on the sofa and YOU can have the bed.”

“I think you’re the crazy one. Look at your size and the size of the sofa.” You were right. The sofa was too small for him, so you thought of a simple solution that made you nervous. “If you don’t mind, we can share the bed.” Johnny looked at you as if to say, “Are you sure about this?” You understood his expression completely and said, “It’s fine. We’ll put some pillows in the middle and it’ll be perfect. The bed is huge.”

After showering, Johnny was arranging the bed while you were combing your hair.

“Did you enjoy the wedding?”

“What? So much! Seriously, Johnny, your family is so lively and funny. I talked for ages with your mom and aunts.”

“I noticed. You even danced with them. You spent more time with them than with your boyfriend.”

“What’s up with that? You should have pulled me to dance.”

“Oh really?”

Then, Johnny picked up his phone and selected a song, specifically “More Than Words” by Extreme and, in a very exaggerated manner, extended his hand to invite you to dance with him in the middle of the hotel room. You couldn’t help but smile, which he noticed, and took his hand, accepting the invitation. The dance continued, Johnny made some exaggerated moves, leading you along with him. With each twirl he made you do, your laughter increased. It was amazing how, even in such a short time, you felt light and happy around Johnny, as he didn’t have to make any effort to make you smile, he just was… himself. The “exaggerated dance” went on for a few more minutes until Johnny lifted you and spun around, but ended up tripping and falling onto the bed, taking you with him. Despite the scare, you both laughed at the situation. But the smiles faded as you realized how close your faces were. You had been this close before, after all, you had kissed earlier, but it was all part of a “show”, now you were alone. Your mouths were almost meeting when Johnny’s phone rang, bringing you back to reality for the second time that day. You got off Johnny and went straight to the bathroom to catch your breath. Meanwhile, Johnny answered the call, discovering it was his mother, just asking if everything was alright.

When you left the bathroom, Johnny was already lying on his side of the bed, ready to sleep, and you did the same, wishing him a good night.

-

Although Johnny’s mind was racing because of everything that had happened the day before and because of the new feelings in his heart, he had a great night’s sleep, except he felt some weight on him. Because of the sun rays entering through the curtain gaps, he slowly opened his eyes and realized that the “weight” was your leg over his, your head using his arm as a pillow and your arms hugging him like he was a giant teddy bear. Johnny noticed that the pillow barrier you had made to divide the bed had fallen and now you were in that situation. He couldn’t help but smile when he saw your squished face, sleeping so peacefully and comfortably in his arms. As much as he wanted to stay there, he had to get out of bed. He tried to do it in a way that wouldn’t wake you, but it didn’t work, and your eyes started to open.

“Good morning, sleepyhead. Is this pillow comfortable?”

“Good morning, sort of, it’s just a bit hard…” The next second, you realized you were clinging to him and jumped out of bed. “OH MY GOD, JOHNNY, I’M SORRY! You must have slept all crooked because of me. How embarrassing!” You said while running your hands over your face, while Johnny, still in bed, just laughed at your “panic.”

-

As the days went by, you exchanged messages with trivial updates about what was happening in your lives. With each message you received, you could feel your heart beat faster just thinking it was from Johnny. All your friends knew when you were talking to him because you always had a silly smile on your face, like a lovesick teenager. Missing him so much, you decided to ask him out and he accepted right away.

You arrived in front of the chosen place: a homemade food restaurant where you had once worked and were still friends with Joe, the elderly owner. A few minutes later, Johnny arrived and he couldn’t help but smile when he saw you, especially because of the sunflower-patterned dress you were wearing. He didn’t miss the chance to joke, “Is that dress in my honor?” knowing that he had a sunflower tattooed on his forearm.

Upon entering the restaurant, you took Johnny’s hand to introduce him to the owner.

“Mr. Joe, it’s been so long!”

“Hi, my dear, I’ve missed you.” With a friendly smile, he turned his attention to Johnny. “Did you come to introduce me to your boyfriend?”

Lately, you two were so often mistaken for a couple that Johnny didn’t mind what was said but couldn’t help but feel sad when you stated that you were just friends.

“I see, well, enjoy the evening and maybe things will change tonight.” The elderly man shook Johnny’s hand, winking at him. Was it that obvious that he was in love with you?

You took the lead, followed by Johnny, who found it strange that you were heading somewhere other than where the customers were eating. He was about to ask where you were going when he was surprised as you reached the restaurant’s terrace. It was a rarely used place but very well-decorated and had an incredible view at night.

“Wow, this place is amazing!”

“I think so too. It was one of my favorite spots. I used to stay here during my breaks and sometimes came here to study or just think about life. The owner doesn’t use it much, but I asked a friend who still works here to set it up, just in case I brought someone here.

“And do you often bring people here?”

“To be honest, you’re the first person I’ve brought here.” Johnny gave a restrained smile, feeling special for some reason.

After placing your orders, you talked about various things. It was incredible how you always had so much to talk about. Then, a cold breeze passed, making you shiver and complain about wearing a dress and forgetting your jacket. Within seconds, Johnny promptly got up, took off his jacket and put it on your shoulders, making you momentarily forget how to breathe due to his sudden closeness.

When he returned to his seat, Johnny found it odd that you started laughing for apparently no reason.

“Please don’t get me wrong, I just think it’s amazing how you can sometimes be so sweet despite being so...” You gestured to indicate his height.

“Tall? Handsome? Hot? No need to be at a loss for words to describe me. They say that’s my charm: being sweet to balance out the fact that I’m extremely attractive” Johnny said in a charming tone and you decided to play along.

“For sure, and very modest too.”

After dinner and more conversation, you suggested to Johnny that you go to an ice cream shop near your place.

“What? But weren’t you cold?”

“No cold can make me refuse a good ice cream.”

And that’s how you ended up on your street, heading to your building with your ice creams, you looking like a happy child finally eating your favorite dessert and Johnny laughing at everything you said.

“Well, I guess this is where we say goodbye,” you said, but deep down you didn’t want the night to end.

“The night was amazing. I haven’t had this much fun in a long time.”

“Oh! Before I forget.” You said while taking off the jacket and handing it back to Johnny. “I swear I’ll bring mine next time.”

“So, there will be a next time?” Johnny said provocatively while putting on his jacket. You pretended to be thoughtful for a second and replied, “Maybe… Wait a second.”

You stepped closer to Johnny to adjust his jacket collar, bringing you just inches apart. Your eyes locked, but this time in a more intense way. You could admire Johnny’s beautiful honey-colored eyes while he examined every detail of your face, which looked even more beautiful in the moonlight. You made a move to pull away, but Johnny placed his hands on your waist, preventing you from leaving. Your gaze dropped to his mouth as he said, “You’ve already kissed me once, what are you waiting for to do it again?”

“Now it’s your turn to take the initiative. Kiss me, John.”

Closing the minimal gap between you, Johnny kissed you. Unlike the first time, you felt the intensity of this kiss, and when Johnny’s tongue touched yours, you could swear you would explode with happiness, so much so that it made you smile in the middle of the kiss, causing Johnny to pull away, laughing. “Are you that happy to kiss me?”

“Of course. Because now we’re really kissing.” You kissed Johnny again, unable to believe he felt something for you too. “Hm, does this mean we’re really dating now?”

“Hmm, let’s see.” Johnny made a mock thoughtful face and listed what had already happened between you two. “I’ve introduced you to my family, we went to a wedding as a couple, we slept together… so I guess we are dating.”

“Good.” You threw yourself into Johnny’s arms, standing on tiptoe. “I won’t have to pretend anymore for your family because next week I’m going to play golf with your mom and your aunts.” You said, giving him a peck.

“YOU WHAT?”

“That’s right, I’m going to spend some quality time with my mother-in-law and show her that I’m the best girlfriend her son could have.”

Johnny’s laughter made you smile even more, he couldn’t believe how quickly you had won over his mother. He hugged you tighter, lifting you off the ground.

“Get inside before I end up kissing you all night, girlfriend.”

“There’s nothing stopping you from doing that, boyfriend.”

You both smiled and kissed once more, savoring the moment that was more real than ever.

[im-out-of-it]

HAPPY ALEC RANT: MAINLY SHOW ALEC (KINDA BOOK ALEC) BUT HOW HAS MY BOY NOT HAD A MILLION MENTAL BREAKDOWNS?????? CHEERS TO MY MAN ALEC FOR KEEPING HIS SHIT TOGETHER

seriously alec puts up with sooooo much shit. he’s always saving jaces worthless ass, Maryse and Robert are always on him for “family honor”, jace is always yelling at him when clary goes missing as if he can be held responsible for her, and poor soul is just so unhappy

book Alec: not going to mention the writing because it’s so atrocious and ah shit, I already did!!!! seriously, Alec gets treated badly by jace mostly all throughout the series. Alec constantly has to save his life in every book. he’s made to feel that he needs to come out. even Magnus (WHY MAGNUS) is pushing Alec to come out and coming after A TEENAGE ALEC. I feel like Alec is simply not happy basically throughout the whole TMI series. he’s made to be biphobic, acting as though Magnus can’t have a past, tries to make Magnus mortal (ALEC WOULD NEVER), and dude can’t even be his own person without thinking of jace. he’s so badly written and cc has damaged his character so much. I genuinely hope in my world, he’s more like show Alec and living his best and carefree healthy life with Magnus 🥰

show Alec: MY FAVVVVVVVVV!!!!!! his parents are on him for saving the family honor and reputation (because of fucking clary ew), then Maryse gets mad after Alec finally chooses for himself, jace is always using him and expecting Alec to drop everything and save him, clary does the same and doesn’t care about the rules just what she wants. Lydia was such a small character and I know some don’t like her but at least she was nice towards Alec.

honestly in majority of the first season, everyone is yelling or getting shitty with Alec. I’m sorry but this man is so reasonable and lenient. he has let a ton of shit fly!!!! if I was in charge of the institute, I would’ve shipped clarys annoying ass off somewhere else. sorry but not my problem 💀 and the way jace treats Alec is unforgivable. I really wanted Alec to give in and go off completely. I’m glad he stands up for himself cause boy did not have the honor to do it in the books. we know we get the “I’m not your bitch” line but let’s be honest, Alec isn’t his own person.

I’m just amazed he never went completely unhinged. Magnus, Lydia, Izzy (mostly) are probably the only people who are nice to Alec and don’t treat him badly. a little bit of Simon too!!!!! Alec seriously deserved a huge vacation after season one. I’m amazed he stuck by jaces side after all jace did. let that fucker die and stay dead, please!!! IM SERIOUSLY BEGGING AT THIS POINT LMAO

just major props to Alec for not losing his shit and being one of the best characters ever. I can see why Matt is so proud of Alec and whoever changed show Alec and made him better, THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY COLD HEART SERIOUSLY THANK YOU

because what the fuck was it with jace saying “oh Alec will be here.” like Alec has made it clear that he doesn’t want to be involved with all the missions clary is trying to accomplish (bitch there are rules wtf), resulting in his family’s reputation, Izzy being almost reduned. he expects Alec to do whatever he says. and then when ms. I don’t care about the rules so I’ll run away does indeed run away, jace says Alec isn’t doing his best. might I add, is crossing the line. Alec has done so much for you, you ungrateful unworthy ass!!!!!! somebody needed to beat this child I swear

he gets to be happy with Magnus and actually shows what a healthy and fun relationship is. tries to change the relationships between downworlders and shadowhunters. MAKING HISTORY!! is probably the best leader ever in my opinion. he’s just out here thriving

also wish they would’ve kept his sassiness throughout the seasons. imagine his range and sass please. WE NEEDED IT

[daddyy333]

Worthy | Lo’ak x Metkayina Reader

if you’d like you can reblog my original work, but please don’t post it without credit. if you take inspiration from my ideas please tag me, I’d like to see how someone else would write it

word count: 5.6k

warnings: uhh reader and lo’ak are pretty sad without each other, reader says “wouldn’t be the worst thing” when lo’ak says the people believe she is dead, ?

anything in bold like this in the middle of a sentence means it’s either Na’vi or meant to be in Na’vi but I don’t trust the translation websites so I just use the few words I know and make do with it💀

summary: Lo’ak’s parents don’t approve of your relationship and it makes you question if you’re worthy of Lo’ak’s love

“Ma sempul…Ma sa’nok?” He asked as he came into the marui. By now, the Sully family had been a part of the Metkayina clan for a year and had become very well acquainted with many of the clan and were getting used to life as reef people.

“Yes, Lo’ak?” Neytiri said and looked up at him. He cleared his throat and said “oel ngati kameie” while gesturing to them. Neytiri and Jake smiled and responded the same.

“I have someone I’d like you to meet…You have been pressuring me since I completed iknimaya to choose a woman…and I have chosen” he said and their eyes widened. They did not want him to choose a Metkayina woman, the goal was to be able to go back to the Omaticaya one day.

“She is Metkayina?” Neytiri asked and Lo’ak nodded softly, pulling you into the marui. You waved softly and looked down, really nervous. Neytiri sighed and said “you cannot mate with a Metkayina woman. Is she even a good hunter? I’ve never even heard of her. Is she even worthy of your love? What is her name?”

“Y/n te Ayeykí Eyati’ite” he said proudly, holding your hand and caressing it softly. Tears quickly filled in your eyes, you tried to stop seeing him because you knew neither of your parents would ever allow you to be together but he just kept insisting, and you were head over heels for the forest boy.

“Does she know the first thing about healing? What if something were to happen, may the great mother never allow it, and you were the one to become the next Olo’eyktan? She would become Tsahìk, Lo’ak this is a major responsibility. You cannot just pick any girl. She is not worthy of being our Tsahìk” Jake said and Lo’ak scoffed.

He shook his head and said “you are being such hypocrites! Dad was just an avatar and you mated with him. And y/n is no ordinary girl. She’s the best hunter I’ve seen, and you don’t even know how many times she's been there to heal me when grandmother was not there? She is so kind, you don’t understand. You won’t even give her a chance? She takes care of me and loves me so much. She is a beautiful woman and a beautiful person, she’s the best woman for me”

“Lo’ak it’s fine…I-I’ll just go, okay? I won’t t-talk to your son anymore I’m s-sorry-” you said and tried to pull away but he stopped you. You let out a shaky breath, pleading with your eyes for him to let you go. He shook his head and said “I will mate with this woman, and she will be my wife and there is nothing you can do about it. I love her so much, and I know Eywa put her in my life for a reason. She will be your daughter in law and she will be my mate. I do not care what you think!”

“Lo’ak do not disobey your parents…maybe there is someone better for you. You deserve the best,” you said, pulling away from him. He tried to grab you again and you shook your head and said “ma Lo’ak…this was never going to work. I will miss you so much, but you are destined for great things. You are Toruk Makto’s son, it’s important you live up to that. I’ll…I’ll see you around”

You smiled a little and left, wiping your tears away. He scoffed and said “how could you do this?! Neteyam is very in love with Tsireya, we all see it and you don’t even care! Why is it that everything I do is wrong in your eyes?! The last thing I want is a life without her”

“Lo’ak, we will go back to the Omaticaya eventually and you will choose a woman then. Neteyam as well,” Neytiri said and he shook his head. He felt the tears fall down his face as he said “I know if Neteyam came to you and said he’d chosen Tsireya as his mate you would support him but you two just hate everything I do. I never do anything right, and every time I’m happy somehow it gets destroyed. I- I loved her! She saw me, and I saw her. We truly saw each other, I’ve never felt so connected to someone. Please, just let me have this one thing”

“Lo’ak, no one has ever mated outside their clan, we don't know what could happen. What will happen when she becomes pregnant? Think of how hard the child’s life would be with a Metkayina’s tail and Omaticaya arms? You think Ao’nung makes fun of you, he’ll make your child cry because of his different it looks” he said and Lo’ak wiped his tears.

Neytiri took a deep breath and said “my child…” “no…no, leave me alone,” Lo’ak said, backing up. He couldn’t imagine a life without you. He wasn’t living until he met you, just simply existing. You make life so much more worth living.

“I…I cannot believe you. She makes me so happy, far happier than I’ve ever been trying to be another Neteyam for you. All you see me as is a soldier, just some warrior to train. I still have wants and needs, and I need to be with her!” He said and Neytiri sighed softly. He shook his head and left, wiping his tears away harshly.

“Lo’ak!” Neytiri said and he yanked his arm from her grip. She looked down and took a deep breath. Jake sighed and said “he really wants to be with her…what’s the worst that could happen? So what if their children look different? Everyone thinks our children have “demon blood”. They’re unique, that’s all. Lo’ak’s children would also look a little different as well,”

“He needs to mate with an Omaticaya woman. There’s too much uncertainty if he mates with a Metkayina woman” she said and Jake shook his head.

Meanwhile, you had gone missing. No one in the clan knew where you were, a younger Metkayina saw you get on your ilu and leave without a word. Eyati, your mother, was terrified. Mawu, your father, wore a similar look as he held his mate, comforting her.

“Why would she just leave?!” Eyati cried, shaking her head. Mawu placed his hands on her growing stomach, trying to calm her down. He kissed her head and said “do not stress, Eyati. It is not good for the baby, and our daughter will be back, she wouldn’t just leave the clan like that without a word. She just needs time,”

“I am so sorr-” Lo’ak said and Be’yati, your older brother, scoffed. He pushed him and Lo’ak nearly fell, but he didn’t even care to defend himself. He didn’t care what happened to him, if he joined Eywa tomorrow then so be it. Without you, he didn’t care much for his life.

“Stop it! It is not his fault! She chose to run off. Everyone…keep an eye out and I want to know when she comes back as soon as one of you see’s her, you tell me. Even if you’re not sure. My daughter will come home, I’m sure of it” Mawu said and everyone nodded.

Lo’ak shook his head and went to a more secluded part of the island, a place you two used to go to a lot. It had so many pretty flowers, and there were a few trees and it was a little more grassy than sandy. It reminds him of the Omaticaya’s forest and hometree.

You told him how happy you were that he still felt like he had a little piece of his home with him. You caressed his hands as he told you stories of his childhood and what it was like in the forest. How beautiful it was there. How he wants to take you one day.

You and your ilu had gone to an island pretty far away, you discovered it when your parents first started letting you go on your own and have gone there many times since. You’ve even brought Lo’ak there, but only twice in the time they’d been there so he probably wouldn’t be able to find you.

You were missing for 5 days before you decided it was time to come back, you knew you were stressing your mother and didn’t want to harm her or your unborn sibling. But in those 5 days, Lo’ak was really starting to lose himself. He didn’t leave the marui unless absolutely necessary, and he was barely eating which concerned Neytiri and Jake and the kids, Kiri especially.

Tuk would try to play with him and he would just sit there, too overwhelmed with thoughts of you. Your eyes, the beautiful blue-green hue they had. Your smile, and your soft lips that kissed his temple when he was stressed or upset. Your hands, how skilled they were. How they would expertly make the perfect pastes or powders or drinks that healed him when he was injured or feeling ill. How they braided his hair to perfection when it was getting grown out. How they massaged his sore muscles after a long day of hunting for food or playing with the younger members of the clan, or swimming with Payakan.

You were so kind too, so generous. You almost always had a small child wanting to sit with you at dinner time, and whenever someone asked, no matter who, you’d give them some of your food. You helped the little ones learn to swim better, teach the hunters in training how to aim a little better. Any time someone even had the slightest scratch, you were quick to clean it and make something to heal it taster. You always helped when you could and where you could, he wondered if you even made time for yourself at all.

He missed you so much. He just wanted to see you again, hear your voice, feel your skin on his as he hugged you again. He could barely function a few days without you, what if you never came back?

Tsireya eventually visited him and nearly dragged him out of his marui. She brought him to play on the shore, just to hopefully lift his spirits a little. However, no one realized you were coming in on your ilu as you were pretty far away and most were on another part of the island preparing for dinner.

You saw her hugging him and them laughing together. You instantly stopped, watching for a few minutes. She splashed him with water and he tackled her softly, splashing her like crazy. It’s the first time he’d even smiled since you left, but you didn’t know that.

To you, it seemed like he had moved on. Maybe his parents just didn’t like you. Jake came over with a smile, trying to seperate the two and getting splashed a little. They splashed him back and he picked Lo’ak up and threw him over shoulder, grabbing Tsireya’s hand and bringing them to the rest of the clan so they could eat.

You blinked some tears away and turned around heading back to the island. 3 weeks of not having you in his life passed. Tonowari and a few others went out searching for you a few times but were unsuccessful. You mother and father were getting worried, and your father was especially worried this would complicate the birth of their newest child.

It finally clicked for Lo’ak, you had to be at that island. He immediately ran out of the marui, calling his ilu. Jake and Neytiri tried to stop him but he was already too far away. He’d never found it so fast, especially since he was still truly getting the hang of riding a marui but he was there in a matter of minutes.

He swam to the area you always did, climbing up using rocks that seemed almost perfectly placed for someone to climb up. It was a short climb, the island was a bit above water and before he knew it there you were.

You were sleeping at the moment, but there was a rock which looked to be a makeshift plate with fish on it, and noticed a little area with a now burnt out fire a few feet away, probably where you cooked your food. There was a small bag, probably your belongings you took with you. He noticed your ilu swimming around the neighboring islands that were also small and empty.

“Sweetheart?” He asked, carefully approaching you. He shook you slightly and you immediately jumped up, pushing him away as you took a defensive position, pulling your knife out and hissing at him. He put his hands up and said “woah, woah woah just me” He smiled, god that stupid smile.

You hated him. Well, you wanted to. And you did, barely, because he made you fall in love with him. With his stupid face and his stupid smile and his stupid person. You’d always love Lo’ak more than you could ever hate him.

“Even worse,” you said mostly sarcastically, sarcastic remarks being something you’d picked up from him in the first place. You put your knife away and sat back on the makeshift bed, not wanting to look at him.

“Go away, Lo’ak. You cannot be with me, I’m not going to go against your parents” you said and ran your fingers over the dirt and moss and rocks in front of you. He sighed and said “y/n, you need to come home. You’re stressing your mother, she needs to be calm especially because she is growing the little sister you want so bad,”

“We don’t know that” you mumbled and he continued. “Your father is struggling just as much. You need to come back home, and help everyone stop worrying so much” he said and you shook your head.

Tears filled your eyes as you said “I cannot go back home and have to see you every day, Lo’ak. It…it makes me so sad. And we cannot be together, even if we want to because your mother is right. I am not worthy of being a Tsahík. You need a girl who is…who is mighty. Who is strong, who is skilled and- and you- you deserve better than me, Lo’ak. Please, go away”

“It makes me sad as well, but you cannot stay here the rest of your life. And I don’t care what my mother says, you would be the best Tsahík the Na’vi has seen. Eywa made you special, y/n. You are meant to be a Tsahík. Screw what I think, everyone misses you, not just me, and all of the people are praying to Eywa constantly for your safe return. They are worried for your safety, many believe you are dead” he said and a new wave of tears hit you.

You sniffled and said “wouldn’t be the worst thing” He gasped slightly, shaking his head. He sat in front of you and said “no, no hey do not say that! Please, do not say that! Y/n, your life means so much to everyone in the clan, please do not say those things. If seeing me makes you feel uncomfortable then…then I will go, okay? Awa’atlu is your home, not mine”

“No, no one goes I- ugh, just go away” you said and stood up, remembering when you saw him with Tsireya. What you didn’t know, was that Kiri followed Lo’ak on her Ikran and now her, Neteyam, Jake, and Neytiri were hiding in some trees on their Ikran’s. They’d been listening the whole time.

He stood up, trying to say something else but just grunts and groans coming out. You scoffed and said “you’re like a baby. Making noises, don’t listen. Go back!” “Y/n-” he said and you shoved him. You wiped your tears and said “No! Go back. Go back to your family, go back to the people, go back to Tsireya! Go!”

“Tsireya?” He asked and you shook your head. You sighed as you said “I was going to come back some time ago. But…I saw you with Tsireya. You were playing in the water and…you seemed happy without me. So I left you be. You shouldn’t be falling in love with Metkayina women, but obviously if you’re so happy with her you don’t need me”

“No- n- Tsireya is just…she was just trying to cheer me up, I- I want you, y/n. You make me happy. You make life feel like it’s worth living. Not her. Please, please come home. You’ll never have to see my stupid face again,” he said and you groaned.

You pushed him away as he got too close as you said “you are stupid. Stay away from me and let me be!” “Y/n-” he said before you both stopped, Atokirina came over to you. A few of them landed on you, and then moved to Lo’ak and then they left.

You gasped, watching as they flew away. “Eywa…” you said softly and sighed. You called your Ilu, diving into the water and riding back home as fast as you could. Lo’ak sighed and took a deep breath, diving under and following you home.

You ran to your mother and father’s marui and knew that’s what Eywa was telling you, you found your father comforting your mother as she clung onto him, face scrunched up in pain. “Ma sa’nok!” You said, running over, cupping her cheek. Her eyes widened as she continued taking the deep breaths your father guided her to take, grabbing your arm.

“Y/n,” she sighed, smiling slightly. As soon as the pain passed, she hugged you and your father wrapped you in a bear hug. “I’m so sorry, Mother, I’m so sorry” you said and she shushed you, smoothing your frizzy, grown out braids back.

“You make it up to me by helping me through this. Hurts just as much as when I had you. My beautiful girl,” she said and kissed your cheek. You looked up at your dad and he said “come, my loves, we must tell the clan. Your mother would like everyone to pray for her and the baby”

You helped her out of the marui and everyone congratulated her on the nearing arrival of her second child, and playfully scolded you for leaving for so long. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Lo’ak watching you. The little kids were swarming you, all begging to be held and told about where you were.

You took a deep breath and he gave you a soft smile. You blinked a few times and bent down, hugging all the little ones and promising you’d never ever leave again. Eventually, you need to go back to the marui to help your mother but you promised you would spend as much time as you could with them when you were able to.

Your mother spent the entire night and most of the next day bearing the pain of childbirth, before your father delivered your baby sister as your mother screamed and squeezed your hand. You were so happy, hugging your mother tight as your father kissed her cheek, laying the whimpering baby on her chest.

She was a little small, but still perfect. She cooed and gurgled, looking up at you and your mother. Eyati connected her kuru to the baby’s and she instantly made a louder coo, reaching up for your mothers face. You smiled and said “she’s perfect, ma sa’nok”

“I’m so glad I have both my girls with me now…please don’t ever leave again, maite” she said and you smiled. You kissed her temple and said “I will not, ma sa’nok. I made a promise to Eywa, and asked her to please make sure I never even think of leaving you and my sweet little sister again”

She smiled and you both looked down at the new baby. You and your father took care of your mother and the new baby for a few hours before they decided on a name for her, Khädina. It was perfect for your precious baby sister.

You spent a few hours with her while your mother slept, and Lo’ak came to visit you. You looked up at him and rolled your eyes. “Go away. This is a happy time for me and my family and I do not want to see you right now” you said and he took a deep breath.

You caressed Khädina’s cheek and he said “I just wanted to say congratulations. I know you’ve always wanted a sibling, especially a sister. I- I brought something to eat. And some for your mother as well. Tell her I saw congratulations. She made two very beautiful girls, she deserves a lot more”

You smiled softly, thanking him. He said hello to the baby and left you alone, but you could stop thinking about him. You kissed Khädina’s head and said “what do you think, tsmuke? What should I do? I…as much as I wish I didn’t…I see him. I see all of him and I just…I am- I can’t stand to be away from him. As the humans say, I love him. He is…not perfect, at least in others eyes. But to me he’s amazing, and he’s special. He’s not like the other Na’vi. He’s adventurous and he likes to explore and do the things he wants even when it gets him in trouble. His father gets upset at him for that,”

You giggled, thinking about the memories of him being scolded by Jake. She cooed and you said “He…He chose me as his mate. But, he is Omaticaya and I, as well as you, are Metkayina and it’s not very common for different clans to mate. He is forest people, we are reef people. It could be hard for us to have children one day, it could be hard on those children. There’s no telling what they’ll be like, no one’s ever done this before. Even so, I still want to be with him. I believe Eywa was trying to warn me about your arrival yesterday, but I think she was also telling me something about me and Lo’ak. I’m not sure what yet, though. I think I must visit the Spirit tree and ask her what she was trying to tell me. Our great mother knows all, Khädina. She will guide me on the right path, she will show me what is best. I do…I hope that he is what’s best. I would really like to be with him. He’s very handsome don’t you think? And he’s so kind. I…I was very mean to him earlier. I was upset. But, he still comes to see you and be here for me, because he knows how happy I was about getting to meet you. He is nice that way. He sees all of the people the best he can, and he cares for them, even when it seems like he doesn’t, even when they hurt him. He cares for everyone. Even if he doesn’t know it. I just hope the great mother is able to tell me he is best for me”

Khädina yawned and you chuckled. You wiped away the few tears that slipped and said “I’m sorry, little one, have I made you tired? I’m sure all the work Ma sa’nok did to bring you into the world probably exhausted you too” Eyati chuckled at that and you looked over, smiling.

“Ma sa’nok. How are you?” You asked, tucking a braid behind her ear. She smiled and said “happy,” She sat up with a wince and reached for Khädina. You handed her to your mother and she smiled.

She moved her top and began to feed her, smiling as she cooed and squirmed happily. “I was awake the whole time. I heard everything you say about the forest boy. You want to be with him, it almost sounds like you need it. I understand, daughter. I’ve talked with your father while you were gone and he understands as well. If his parents approve, we will allow you to mate with that boy. Just…be sure. Okay?” She said and you smiled, more tears spilling down your face.

She wiped them away and you nodded, thanking her. Your father came back and held all 3 of his girls in his arms, feeding you two some food and admiring his new daughter.

A few days later, your mother was healed better and she was able to leave the marui, introducing everyone to the new baby. Once again, Lo’ak stood off to the side watching. You took a deep breath, smiling at him and gently taking Khädina from your mothers arms to show the little kids.

He couldn’t help but think about that being your child one day. Him standing behind you, holding you in his arms as you showed off the little baby you made together. He’d want them to look like you. So he could look at them and see the girl he loves most. Also, in case something happens to his ambitious and slightly impulsive girl and he no longer gets to wake up next to her every day. That way he’d have a little you to keep him from giving up.

He wanted to be with you so bad. He wanted to hug you and kiss you and make love to you as much as possible. He was so in love with you. He always told you Eywa had been creating you since the time of the first songs, making sure you were as perfect as possible, which you were.

Once you were able to have some time to yourself, you went to the spirit tree. You swam around for a bit, interacting with the animals. At the eclipse, you connected your kuru to the tree and closed your eyes. “Great mother, I need help. I…I feel very connected to Lo’ak, one of the forest people who came to Awa’atlu for safety. He…he actually makes me feel safe, and also very happy. But…he is Omaticaya. His parents do not want us to be together. I…I don’t know what I should do. Please, Eywa, I need your guidance” you told her, smiling at the thoughts of Lo’ak.

Atokirina came over to you, hovering right over your heart. You smiled and told Eywa of Khädina’s birth, even though you knew she already knew. “She’s beautiful, Eywa. I’m forever grateful for such a beautiful gift from the great mother” you told her, now wanting to hold her again.

Once you were down, you headed home and ran into Tsireya. “Hi…I- I heard Lo’ak talking to Kiri about some things. I just…I wanted to say that these last few weeks have just been friendship with Lo’ak. I actually…well I-I’ve been trying to help him look for you. And trying to boost his mood. He got really upset because he missed you. He sees you, y/n. More than anyone else. He sees you so clear he cannot handle it sometimes. Please…do not let me get in the way of your relationship. What you have…is special. And I…well I sort of…if I were to choose a brother it’d probably be Neteyam” she said, really shy as she spoke the last part.

You smiled and said “you are attracted to Neteyam, sister?” Her bioluminescent freckles glowed as she nodded, looking over at the brothers braiding little Tuk’s hair. You smiled and said “you should try. Ronal and Eyati are good friends, maybe she would allow it” “no, I can’t…I am going to be the next Tsahík. I should mate with a Metkayina man” she said and you rolled your eyes.

You hugged her and said “thank you, sister. Thank you,” She smiled and said “you’re welcome. Go be with your man now,” You giggled and walked over to him, he instantly looked up and was starstruck.

He had finally truly looked at you for the first time in weeks, god he almost forgot just how gorgeous you are. Your hips swayed beautifully, your bioluminescent freckles glowing beautifully, your outfit accentuating your body in ways that did things to Lo’ak.

“Lo’ak? Can we…talk?” You asked and Neteyam’s eyes widened. He chuckled and said “you upset your woman, Lo’ak? Better be careful, we all know she could kick your skxawng ass anytime” you laughed a little, a beautiful sound to him. Nearly as beautiful as his mothers song chord.

You smiled and tapped his shoulder as you walked by, signaling for him to follow you. You walked to a secluded part of the island, no maruis, no people. Just trees and rocks and the water. “Lo’ak?” You asked, he seemed a bit…uncomfortable.

“Yes?” He said, raising his eyebrows slightly. You noticed his tail moving quite erratically, he was nervous. “I…I have had some time to think. I asked Eywa for guidance, as well and…I think mating with you is something that is meant to happen. Our love for each other is something very special, Lo’ak. I don’t think Eywa put us in the other's life on accident” you said and he looked down.

You grabbed his hand and he said “you should be with a Metkayina man…the clan would be upset at you, and they’d turn their back on you like they did me. I’m not good for you, y/n. Neteyam is a better option. I’m…I’m alien, y/n. All they’ll see is demon blood”

Tears filled your eyes as you whimpered. “Lo’ak…oel ngati kameie” He looked up at you and a tear slipped down his cheek. He looked so hurt, so lost. You cupped his cheeks, trying to force him to look at you.

“oel ngati kameie” he whispered back softly, placing his hands on your waist. You gasped slightly, you didn’t expect him to give in so easily. You pressed your forehead to his and closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. “Please stay with me…we can- w-we can run away together and we’ll…we’ll make our own clan,” he said, obviously joking.

“We’ll…we’ll bring some others and then our kids can mate with some of them and we’ll make an entirely new clan” he said and you smiled. You caressed his cheek and said “and what would our clan be called?”

“Mmmm y/n” he said and you giggled. You sniffled and said “you can’t name our clan after me” “but you are so incredible, y/n. And mighty. Anyone who gets to say your name and see your beautiful face should consider themselves lucky” he said and your bioluminescent freckles lit up and you giggled again.

He pulled away and you looked up at him, biting your lip. You looked down at his lips and then back up at him, and he nodded. You leaned in and kissed him softly, his hands finding your hips he pulled you into him. You were practically flush against him as he dipped you back a little.

He moved his hands to your back, pulling you impossibly closer and causing you to moan a little into the kiss. You pulled away and he chased your lips a little, making you chuckle. He smiled and said “I love you, y/n. I cannot live without you, I mean it. It’s been so hard these last few weeks I don’t want to ever be away from you again”

“I love you too, Lo’ak. I’m so glad Eywa brought you here. You make me so happy, my love” you said, still caressing his cheek. He kissed you again and you smiled through it, jumping up and wrapping your legs around his hips after he tapped your thigh softly.

Neteyam, Kiri, Jake, Neytiri, and Tuk had all once again been spying and Neteyam started cheering him on. Kiri giggled and did the same, and then they all did. You gasped, hiding your face in his chest from embarrassment and he blushed. He loved when you did that.

“Yeaaa! My brother finally brainwashed a girl into being with him!” Neteyam said, placing his hands on shoulders and slapping them slightly. Neytiri raised an eyebrow and said “who taught you to kiss like that, boy?”

“Ma sa’nok…” he said, a little embarrassed. You giggled and looked up at him, kissing his warm cheek. He rubbed your back and said “just a natural I guess” specifically looking at Neteyam with a boyish grin on his face.

“Alright, you may have settled on a mate but don’t be having all kinds of babies yet. You're barely Na’vi adults, why don’t you act like teenagers for a few more years?” Jake said and you nodded. Lo’ak smiled and said “of course, dad. Cannot wait to father your children but I must show you how amazing you are first”

Neytiri placed her hands on your shoulders and said “welcome to the family, sweetheart,” and kissed your head. Neytiri sighed and said “be a gentleman and take care of her, Lo’ak. Or I’ll make sure she kicks your ass”

He rubbed your back, whispering a promise to never ever hurt you in your ear. “Come on, you gotta finish my hair,” Tuk whined, grabbing both her brother’s arms. You chuckled and let go of him, pushing him so he didn’t make the excuse of being with you to get out of braiding sweet little Tuk’s hair.

“I’ll never understand why you want him, but I’m glad you two are happy. I was sick of taking care of his mopey ass while you were gone” Kiri said and you laughed, watching your sweet soon to be mate make silly faces at his little sister as Neteyam continued braiding.

“He’s perfect to me…I cannot wait to spend the rest of our lives together” you said, biting your lip. Kiri rolled her eyes and Jake and Neytiri chuckled, shaking their heads. Lo’ak looked over at you and winked, making your bioluminescent freckles shine like stars of the night sky. You smiled and winked back.

God, you’d do anything for the rebellious forest boy.

As of now l'm writing for

Eddie Munson

Joseph Quinn

Jamie Bower

Steve Harrington

Robin Buckley

Eddissy

Maya Hawke

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

Lo’ak

Neteyam

So just comment the taglist you want to be added to and l'll add you :)

[canonicallyobserving911]

Overall Assessment of Season 6

I’ve completed 15 detailed “Constructive Criticisms” posts regarding season 6 and I wanted to wrap everything up with an overall assessment for the entire season.

Even though 17% of the season’s 18 episodes were ok, overall, the majority of it wasn’t anything to be excited about especially since 9-1-1’s had some awesome seasons in the past (season 3 was the best). There were three good episodes but the rest could have been sent in an email or yeeted to the sun.

6x3 “The Devil You Know” had great cinematography and the acting from the main and recurring characters along with the guest stars was superb but in my opinion the storyline should have been included in a different franchise.  Mainly because it was so dark and heavy that it seemed like it would have been a better fit for “Law & Order: SVU” especially since Tonya Kingston was a special victim.  One thing 9-1-1 did EXCEPTIONALLY WELL BEFORE SEASON 5 was balance the lighter storylines with the heavier ones but for the past two seasons they haven’t done a great job of it.  Season 5 was heavy enough with Maddie’s PPD and Eddie’s PTSD storylines, therefore the third episode of season 6 shouldn’t have been that heavy and dark.  On a positive note, it was part of Athena’s origin story regarding why she became a cop and it properly closed out her storyline even though it started back in season 2.

6x6 “Tomorrow” was good but someone didn’t fact check a lot of the details for it and they didn’t ensure the continuity was there.  At the end of 6x5, the promo for 6x6 included Karen calling 9-1-1 but that scene was NOT INCLUDED in the episode.  Also, in CANON it was never mentioned that Chimney orchestrated Hen and Karen’s blind date.  Finally, the closeout of Hen’s medical school storyline wasn’t fact checked either since in 2x6 she said the reason she became a paramedic was because she got shot when she was 16 and the paramedics who came to help took care of her.  Then in 3x9, she told Karen the woman they saw at the spa, Stacy Mullins, was the reason why she became a paramedic.  So which one was it or was it both?  The audience will never know especially since she didn’t mention either option at the end of 6x6 during her explanation to Karen regarding why she decided to drop out of medical school.

6x13 “Mixed Feelings” was my favorite episode overall because it included A LOT OF BUCK & EDDIE, BUCK & CHRIS AND THE BUCKLEY-DIAZ FAMILY.  FULL STOP!  Their relationship was missing for 99% of 6A; therefore to see Buck and Eddie side by side along with the Buckley-Diazes spending time together again like they did in 6x1, it was absolute PERFECTION.  I’ve already explained in post “#15 – Buddie” how Buck and Eddie’s relationship is the main reason why I watch the show so I won’t elaborate.

All the other episodes didn’t meet the expectations that 9-1-1 established during previous seasons.

6x10 “In a Flash” could have been one of the best episodes of the season but IT WASN’T because the Buckley parents’ and Sang Han’s presences ruined it.  It was supposed to be about Buck being struck by lightning (which was shoved into the last 5 minutes of the episode) but they spent the first 40 minutes showing more of his parents, Chimney’s dad and Albert’s mother than they did showing the 118, Athena, May and Chris.  Also they SPOILED the majority of Buck’s injury a month before it aired with all the stills and promos they released.

Overall, my biggest criticism about the season is the show didn’t commit to anything.  Everything seemed like it was a false start which is kind of sad since they "thought" (I still don’t believe they thought it was the last one) or wanted the audience to believe it was going to be their final season.  My false start metaphor can be compared with a “false start” in a track meet.  When runners are on their marks and one of them starts before the starter pistol is fired, everyone must go back to the beginning.  That’s how I feel about season 6 because every main character was sent back to the beginning instead of showing how far they’ve come.  No one, not any individual character or their ships were shown to have moved forward.  The finale was a rushed mess and none of it made any narrative sense.

Basically, it appears there was no real purpose for season 6 and if there was one, it got lost in translation since things were discombobulated and all over the place.  Storylines were unequally distributed, recurring characters’ arcs were rewritten to make them likeable and the metaphors just kind of fell apart in the end.  If there really was a purpose, what was it?  The items below are overall assessments for the nine main characters.

Athena needed more storylines than what was provided in 6x3

Bobby’s AA sponsor storyline was atrocious and shouldn’t have been included

Buck’s gazillion storylines should have ended better

Chris deserves his own storylines.  He’s a main character but he never gets his own storylines even though Denny (bio dad) and Jee-Yun (Maddie’s engagement ring) had individual storylines this season

Eddie NEEDED MORE STORYLINES!  (I’ll keep screaming it because EDDIE DESERVES BETTER!)

Hen’s, Chimney’s and Buck’s quest for interim captain should have been handled better

Hen’s medical school storyline should have ended better

Maddie and Chimney deserved a better plot for their proposal storyline than that raggedy IRS Income Tax mess

May had one main storyline for the whole season but after that, she was barely there

After 6x18 aired, it seemed like someone had an idea about where they wanted the season to go but they didn’t know how to execute it in a way that would make the audience want to return after the HIATUS.  Additionally, a lot of time was spent copying storylines from other shows and it appears they didn’t think anyone would notice but it’s apparent from the comments that were left on social media sites, some viewers who watch similar series did notice and they were vocal about it.

In the past, 9-1-1 was unique but somewhere along the way they lost the thing that made them special.  In the wastelands of network TV, it was refreshing to watch a show that included everything instead of having separate shows for the police, firefighters and dispatchers like other franchises.

When the season ended, I asked myself the same question I asked after 15 of the 18 episodes aired; “Is that it?”  Maybe my expectations were too high but I don’t believe they were since I still watch episodes from seasons 2-4 (3x2 - 3x3 – the Tsunami were fantastic and 4x13 - 4x14; Eddie being shot still haunts me but I love Eddie so I'll watch all the episodes where he gets the screen time he deserves).

Was season 6 supposed to be their legacy? If so, then it was filled with a bunch of raggedy storylines that focused primarily on Buck while ignoring the rest of the main characters.  It was like they didn’t want to commit to anything risky or something that would have cemented the show as a groundbreaking TV series that would have audiences talking about it for the next decade or maybe even longer.

This is my overall assessment of season 6 and whenever the show returns, hopefully it will have returned to being uniquely 9-1-1 instead of some knock off version of the other 3 or 4 firefighting shows out there in the already oversaturated market of emergency television shows on network TV.

I’ve included links to all the “Constructive Criticisms” posts below along with their topics.

#1 - Lack of and/or inconsistencies with interviews, promos, stills, trailers, etc.

#2 - Recurring Characters OVERSHADOWED Main Characters

#3 - Undeserved and Unearned Parent Redemptions

#4 - Unequal Distribution of Storylines

#5 - Continuity Errors and Forced Narratives

#6 - Season Six or Season of Sex

#7 - Stereotypes in Season 6

#8 - Lack of Professional Development and Growth

#9 - The use of Metaphors, Themes and Theories

#10 - Bathena

#11 - Henren

#12 - Madney

#13 - Evan “Buck” Buckley

#14 - Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz

#15 - Buddie

[she-walked-away]

hi friend!!!!!! 💀⚽️🐙 for you!

HIIIIIII!!!!

💀If you could resurrect one character, who would it be?

Gabriel. Like, I DO get why Tim did it and how it left Carlos' relationship with him unfinished because that's how cruel life can be. But, I do think there was a lot of missed opportunity that they could have capitalized on if they kept him alive for a few more seasons. One of my dream storylines would have been Gabriel and Owen getting into more hilarious shenanigans and end up in danger which would have led into TK and Carlos rescuing them and then the boys could have gotten to play disappointed parent™ to them.

⚽️ Red vs. blue round 2! What sport are they playing?

DODGEBALL.

Listen, I played dodgeball in gym growing up and people are RUTHLESS. I think Marjan would be quietly aggressive and so would Nancy because I could see them harnessing some major rage to take out the cops, especially after one of them tripped Nancy.

I also think Carlos and TK would try their hardest to avoid each other while playing because they really don't want to throw things at each other, but then they'd end up being the last two standing and would probably have to call a time out to pinky swear that it's just a game and then end up throwing the balls in their general direction, the balls would hit each other and both of them be taken out by their own throws so it's a draw.

🐙 Popular headcanon for (insert character) that you don’t subscribe to

TK CAN DRIVE GUYS. He has to in New York to drive the ambulance and be a firefighter/be dual certified. I do think he's a very aggressive driver as well. I've got family that lives an hour outside NYC so whenever I visit, I have to white knuckle the side of the door because people drive fast and v. aggressively. It gives Carlos a lot of anxiety because they'll be approaching an exit and TK will wait until the very last minute to cross three lanes of traffic to make the exit while he's in the middle eating french fries and Carlos is having an internal panic attack and hoping none of his cop buddies are around in case TK accidentally speeds or hits another car bc that would be embarrassing.

I also think his credit and savings took a big hit when he bought his car in Texas, (which would have been a hybrid or something environmentally friendly!!), and that was one of the reasons that he would have had trouble with the down payment

Thank you for these my friend!!!! :) MUAH

[alaynestone]

You don’t have to post this if you don’t want. I just wanted to say I was one of those curious, openminded fans willing to entertain the idea of samjohn (mostly bc deanjohn feels so congruent with canon + there’s so much interesting meta on it that managed to convert me + incestuous households usually affect all of it’s members) but just like you said I was immediately put off by the blatant character assassination that pervades everything from fics to edits to the propaganda in that incest poll lmao.

I guess that’s the major difference - deanjohn requires little to no stretching of imagination bc it already fits seamlessly into canon, whereas samjohn almost demands ooc shenanigans to work.

I also just found the way fans talk about it nauseating for some reason, though that’s likely more of a reflection of my own personal triggers. I love digesting incest narratives, but the fetishistic angle of that blog really makes my stomach turn. That’s not a moral judgement on anyone else’s enjoyment btw! Just another reason why this ship didn’t resonate with me.

thank you for sending me this. it's clear that a lot of people feel the same way.

when i first joined fandom, the few j/s fics were straightforward evil!john non-con. not my thing, but i understood why it was written that way. then came the inexplicably popular fandom creation of "sexkitten sam" which continues to pollute the entire sam/dean fandom and of course extends to other ships too. i'm not even gonna get started on why that's "problematic" because that's not the point, it's not remotely in character. even as an exaggeration sam is not the kind of person to attempt to find agency in outward submission or objectification. he's very vocally not compromising his identity to please his family and especially john. dean is more like that so when you have sam acting like a fetishized pinterest aesthetic moodboard version of dean and dean acting like an old man from wattpad i'm understandably left squinting at the screen. then it's genderswapping sam and using that as a personality eraser because women are automatically submissive and naive and trad?

who is being converted by all this when it has nothing to do with sam, john or even dean? where is dean in all this actually? a core aspect of their family is that dean is closest to both sam and john who rarely had much opportunity to bond without him. there was a distance between sam and john throughout sam's childhood and adolescence. most of his parental needs were being fulfilled by dean even if that was never enough. their situation with their father wasn't the average one where they were simply 2 kids fighting for his attention.

for the most part j/s appears to be about "envying" dean's position in the family. it's about diminishing or straight up erasing dean and more notably about feminizing sam. either directly or otherwise. people generally seem to have big issues with the fact that sam is a man and confidently so. most of the annoying tropes in wincest fandom have this at their core. and of course in order for sam to be "the woman" dean needs to genuinely and authentically be the most stereotypical of cishet men. it's very transparent because right from the start the show poked holes at dean's performance of masculinity. it was very much the point. dean's gender issues could fill a book yet any alternative interpretation of sam and gender seeks to cast dean as the oppressive bigot who would never get it? stopping here before i get off topic but to make myself clear: in theory i respect headcanons i don't understand, but not when they spitefully exist to deny dean's depth in every possible way.

to return to my point about dean's pseudo spouse and mother position being enviable, it misses the point of how harmful john's parenting was to both of them. it's no coincidence that they both view themselves as the unfavorite. dean believes he's taken for granted, only valued for what he can give, how well he can perform his roles, how successfully he could play at being an adult even before he hit double digits. dean can't just exist and be himself while sam is uncompromisingly himself. because of that he believes john doesn't like him, never liked him, rejected him, didn't have time for him, didn't trust him enough with the family secrets, even when those secrets directly concerned him. as of season 1 he still has contempt for dean for what he views as unquestioning obedience to john and letting himself be molded by john. dean had to fight for every scrap of approval and affection and sam refused to do the same if it meant sacrificing his own needs and identity. not everyone reacts to abuse the same way and both characters are very much shaped by their different reactions to their environment. and any j/s shipper argument that is built on the idea that sam was the one john loved more is not only gleefully mocking dean's parentification but ignoring that sam being comparatively sheltered and treated like a son is yet another reason why john would not cross such a line with him. dean "gets it", dean lost mary too, dean is his partner and his confidant, dean can handle adult responsibilities, dean is loving and supportive, dean isn't making him confront his parenting failures, dean can't say no to him. like you said, it doesn't at all stretch the imagination to make j/d fit into dean's backstory. "you are not a child" - "i never was".

as i have been saying, any remotely ic exploration of j/s would have to follow both j/d and s/d. i can't believe in a universe where j/s is the only incest that happens in the family. i think a theoretical plausible j/s fic would have to not only accept but embrace its adjacency to the 2 ships that are compliant with the canon. but whether sam knows for a fact about j/d or not, there's no way he isn't severely impacted by the proximity to that relationship in a number of ways and that's a very compelling dynamic in its own right.

tldr i agree with you anon. people can read and write whatever they want but there's a big difference between incest subtext that is believable and just saying things in a way that's meant to provoke.

[squiddcakes]

Hello! A lot of you had positive responses to my last post, so here I’ll be writing my personal rewrites of the I.M.P. Crew (Sorry this took so long, I got side-tracked this weekend <:]). For a reminder of what my redesigns looked like, you can find them Here. I’m gonna go from left to right and start with the first crew member:

Mildred (or Millie)

I did a lot of reworking around Mildred since a majority of her characterization is basically nonexistent, so I gave her a personality with a lot of potential and complexity that’s on par with her male crew members.

Mildred comes from a very low-income, Southern family in the Wrath Ring. She grew up on a barn with her parents and several other siblings, making her essentially a middle child. She worked on their farm for most of her life as a hand and delivery girl to send fresh produce to buyers and the local market. It was like this for some time until the family business had gone dry due to some messy ties with the upper-class that resulted in them going into poverty. Wanting to help her family and support them financially Mildred left to go find work elsewhere, in which she meets Blitzo and is hired onto the I.M.P. team.

She’s very hard-working, a bit brutish but has a heart of gold, and is blunt and out-spoken. She’s not very sophisticated but has a lot of Wisdom to her and gives some great advice to Loona as the only other woman in the workplace, and someone for Loona to look up to in times of need. She gets along great with everyone except Moxxie, who she butts heads with constantly due to their conflicting personalities and backgrounds. Speaking of Moxxie, he’s next on the list.

Moxandicus (Moxxie)

Moxxie was an Imp born into the wealthier part of Imp society, basically making him the equivalent of your typical “uptight, sophisticated rich boy”. His family comes from a line of competitive businessmen, none of that mafia mumbo-jumbo, though they probably do have some loose ties to them in some way. Moxxie is the odd-one-out of his family, rather than taking an interest in the family business, instead finds his passion in Mortals History (this man is so infatuated with Humans culture its crazy). Because of this, his family looked at him more as a nuisance “wasting his time on silly hobbies”, and basically cut him off from his wealth until he “proved himself worthy” of being welcomed back into the family. Now broke and nowhere to go, Moxxie finds himself looking for work, where he meets Blitzo and joins I.M.P.

I imagine my Moxxie has a very similar personality to the one if the show, except he’s more educated, calculating, snooty and uptight, and less of.. I don’t know how to put this— coward? Butt of the joke? You get what I mean. He’s essentially the straight man and voice of reason for the group, and is the one who usually has to get them out of their pickles when working. He doesn’t have a lot of street smarts and is less willing to get his hands dirty compared to everyone else. Like I said earlier he clashes a lot with Millie and frequently questions Blitzo’s authority, but most of the time doesn’t argue back on the count of that’s his boss. He’s indifferent towards Loona, though questions why a teenager is working for them in the first place.

Blitz(o)

A lot of Blitz’s backstory and personality is mostly the same: Grew up in the circus in the Pride Ring, left after wanting to seek more in life prove to everyone someone from his social class can make it big in the world, yadayadayada. However I did rewrite some things that I believed wold make his character a lot better/more tolerable:

He’s still on good terms with his sister, they’re just really busy all the time so they don’t have a lot of time to talk or see each other (I’m so sick of this dude not having at LEAST one good relationship).

He and Verosika are still on bad terms due to their messy break-up, though I want to believe Blitzo regrets and sometimes even misses her and the actions that led to their falling out, though due to his pride refuses to admit it out loud.

None of that weird “sexually harassing my coworkers” shit. That was weird and gross.

I gave him a personality that’s more attuned to “if Weird Al was a bounty hunter who grew up in the circus”. He was always some silly little guy to me. The man grew up in a circus, I’d expect him to be a little clowned down if you get what I’m sayin’.

His relationship with Loona is typically the same. He adopted her when she was around 13-14 and has been raising her ever since as his teenage daughter (None of that weird “treating hellhounds like literal peta thing that was weird and confusing). He makes her work as their secretary and “social media manager” as a way to earn a weekly allowance and also “the kids are hip with it she’ll do wonders for us promotionally”. She does not, he just refuses to admit it.

Leona (Loona)

I’ve done a lot of reworking for Loona as well, same reasons as Millie. Istg they do not know how to wrote female characters.

Loona is a hellhound born from the Sloth Ring. She doesn’t know a lot of her background, but was raised in foster care for a small portion of her life until Blitzo took her in when she hit her teenage years. Before that however she took a liking towards astrology and magic and would constantly read about it in her formative years. When she began living with Blitz she began attending schooling to further learn about magic and how to translate older works, which is how she’s able to use Stolas’ book for the IMP team to use. She get’s teased on a lot in school for being one of the only Hellhounds there, which causes her to feel insecure about herself and shut in from people including Blitz.

Loona’s a very quiet, closed-off teenager (16-17), who’s very much in that “going through a phase” part of growing up. She’s very insecure about herself and is easily-impressionable, which is why she looks up to Millie so much, since she’s cool and is the only other girl in the office space to talk to. Loona’s relationship with Blitz is the same, except she actually acts like a teenager and not an abusive asshole. She wants to prove to herself that she’s not some “loser nobody” and can actually do magic and make friends with other teens her age.

And that’s it. Sorry it was so long I had a lot to say lol. If you have further questions, direct them to my ask box.

[jolynesmom]

if it’s okay with you, tell us about your tokyo revengers DR. i’d love to know how you relate to that world, your background story (if that’s okay), and whether you’re part of any gang 🙂🗣

hii, yes omg I would love to talk about it thank you for the request!!

while I really like this dr, it’s definitely one of my more lackluster and simple drs. I usually write more complex backstories for my drs, but for this one I kept it simple for a few reasons + I actually haven’t seen the last season, but I plan on doing it soon and update my script

so basically before baji met the others and formed toman, I moved into his apartment building with my family and our moms became friends instantly because of a common interest and they forced me and baji to become friends too. we hated each other at first because of our literal opposite personalities but after some time we became inseparable. this dr follows the ‘canon’ story from the anime just like the majority of my drs because I just like it the best (well it somehow follows it because I scripted a bunch of deaths and situations out)

so after some time we befriend mikey, all 3 of us start going to his grandpa’s dojo together and after some time we befriend the others and form toman while we’re in our last year of middle school. I aged everyone up because I preferred it this way plus would make more sense irl, so at the moment everyone in toman is finishing up highschool or maybe even in uni (I scripted uni is chill because I couldn’t be bothered to care about studying 😭)

my position in toman is acting vice president because I don’t really like to lead or give orders, but can do it if absolutely necessary when draken and/or mikey are not available for some reason

one very small difference I added in this dr is related to my s/o. I usually don’t script partners because it’s either not on my mind or I’m just curious to see who’d be into me without scripting, but here I added han from stray kids as my s/o because recently he’s really had my attention and I don’t know why, but I just feel like he fits in the tokyo revengers verse/a gang, especially when you think how he used to act predebut 😭

so he’s part of a notorious enemy gang to toman (I didn’t script much about this gang, but honestly I might add some more stuff) and after this enemy gang is brutally defeated by toman they’re going to disband and han will seek me out to join us and yeah

a lot of the time I like to connect my drs with things that happened in this reality to overcome there what I couldn’t do here, and this includes my tokyo revengers dr as well. here I grew up very sheltered and I would always be punished or humiliated by my family if I ever tried to rebel because of their positions in the society I grew up in. in my dr they hold important positions as well (dad is a police officer and mom is a nurse) and me being in a gang without their knowledge is my way of revenge (no pun intended) for both realities. I hate being constrained, and being in a gang, especially as a girl, is my way of saying ‘fuck you’ to my family (and honestly the society I grew up in) for keeping me in chains. I know they only wanted the best for me but it really messed me up as I grew up

also growing up I never had male friends, let alone best friends, because my parents didn’t like me hanging out around guys, so I think my best friend being a guy and having mostly guys as friends is going to be a nice change for me, so yeah that’s definitely another thing I’m excited about

another thing I love about this dr for is how it’s set in the early 2000s. I’ve seen a lot of people (esp on tiktok) complain about places they want to shift to being set in the 90s or 00s because they don’t have access to the internet and tiktok and blah blah blah!! y’all are boring!! the 2000s were literally superior in so many ways. I miss so much the vibe from back then and the technology like the funny phones or when the internet just became a thing and people used yahoo and hi5 to talk to each other; it was so great how people were more connected back then and that’s one of the main things I look forward to;

like it’s going to be so fun how the guys will need to come get my ass personally for a meeting because phones back then had a limit on how much you can call and text, so it was preferred to talk in person unless absolutely necessary 😭

most relationships feel so shallow here, so I’m genuinely excited to go hang out with my friends and talk about everything and nothing instead of everyone playing on their phones; I also scripted yahoo and hi5 are the most used social platforms in japan because those were sooo fun to be on

I hope you found my answer interesting!! <3

[eyeopeningarchivist]

Statement of Anon (tw: Death & Depression)

Concerning their depressive self isolation.

Statement given Tuesday, July 11th, 2023

Transcript and editing by Tim Stoker, archival assistant at The Magnus Institute, London.

Statement begins...

I don’t remember a time I was scared of the dark, not really. Maybe one time but it’s been so long and I was so young that I don’t know why I was even scared. My older sister was definitely scared by it though. For quite a while, in fact...

We used to share a room, for basically the majority of our lives. At night she’d have her nightlight and the tv on, watching a dvd of one of her favourite shows. Since I was younger, I naturally disliked the shows (since that’s how siblings are sometimes) but I was mainly irritated by her having so much light and noise to sleep. I loved the complete silence and darkness of our room and almost needed it to sleep. Almost.

We eventually stopped sharing a room, mostly because we were getting older and needed our own privacy and space from each other. The last time we’d tried to have separate rooms, we’d been way younger and had missed each other a lot so we went back to sharing. I miss those days...

This time was different.

On a Monday at the beginning of June, my sister and I were sat down in the living room by our parents and told that our grandmother had died. She had been sick for a few months and had been admitted to the hospital about a month before. I didn’t know how to react. Our parents asked if we wanted the day off from school and we both agreed. I remember going out with Mum and my sister to get funeral clothes. It was the first funeral I’d been to in my life and currently the only one. I doubt it’ll be my last.

I still didn’t react. I didn’t even cry. I think I was in shock and it took a long time for me to process it. Sometime after the funeral, during summer holidays, I moved into my own room. It was smaller than the old one, the reasoning being that I never put my things away properly so there was less room for mess.

I guess my body processed what had happened faster than I did as I began subconsciously isolating myself, my brain eventually catching up. It happened at the worst time though, right as I was starting high school.

It might have been the stress and all the change that was going on that caused me to realize my gran was dead. I knew her my entire life as she and my grandpa lived in our house with us. She was there for everything and then, suddenly, she wasn’t and never would be again.

Then I truly began to isolate myself, mainly staying in my room, and I started keeping the curtains closed almost all the time to leave me in complete darkness. I liked it, the dark was comforting and I felt safe in it.

Over the next three or four years it stayed like that, me in complete darkness in my room. At some point I stopped isolating myself and made some friends in my year at school. I had a girlfriend for a bit too but we broke up and that led to me isolating again for a time.

Due to the extensive amount of time I spent in the dark, some changes started to take place. I grew paler, my hair darkened from light brown to dark brown, and I could see pretty clearly through the dark. I developed a sensitivity to light though and can barely go out on non-cloudy days without blinking in pain the whole time. Sunny days are the worst.

Then, 2020 happened and self isolation. I had joined Discord two years before and, when I saw a Tiktok of a Twitch streamer I checked them out, then joined their Discord server. I made friends and connected with people, feeling happier.

I eventually stopped being friends with those people as our friendship wasn’t truly healthy and naturally fell apart. Having friends that actually felt like friends helped though. I connected more with people in my year at school and, when I dropped out to go to uni, I connected quickly there too. Now I have friends on Discord where the relationships are healthy.

I’m happier now. I don’t have to rely on the darkness and isolation to feel comfort... Still, I sometimes keep my curtains shut.

Statement ends...

Not sure if this is really a supernatural event but if it helped them then I guess it works. Anon is possibly being monitored by the Lonely or the Dark but, as this is an anonymous statement, there’s no way we can do followup to see if they’re okay... I hope they are...

[the-missann]

Previous Post

Next up is

Jax Barmen!

He's a super cute cutie and aside from his role in the story being related to the researcher who initially discovered 4th Dimensional beings (no, that's not a big deal in the story). Jax serves as the groups researcher.

He's extremely intelligent and enjoys theoretical research. Being a senior in high school, he has plans to go off to college and become a theoretical scientist.

Jax is also the pretty/popular boy of the school. Everyone loves him because he's personable and friendly. Jax is my sweet boy who tries his best to make sure the girls and women around him are taken care of and comfortable, and anyone else is met with nothing but kindness. I don't even think it's possible for him to even have bad thoughts.

Jax is also kind of the dad of the group being able to settle everyone down when they're feeling stressed or anxious about something. Outside of that, Jax often is the reasonable one of the group being able to make rational decisions and account for what they should or shouldn't be doing.

I actually just made this drawing randomly and it's not based on the excerpt. Here, Jax and Cassie are essentially having a sleep over where Jax is going to teach her something she's interested in. They're so cute too, they're suppose to he wearing matching PJs ☺

Also, his hair is different because I'm very bad at drawing 😄

Here's a snipit of him!

It was now silent in the car, Jax got to a stop light and spoke to the pair.

“You guys are arguing about this? Have either of you thought about the actual situation?”

Larson looked at Jax. “You must want to die.” Larson threatened. “I am thinking about the situation.”

“No, you’re only thinking about disagreeing with Cassie because you believe she’s wasting our time. You have yet to say any kind of idea you have.”

Larson looked off and let out an audible sigh.

Cassie smiled. “Yeah, at least I’m trying to come up with something!”

Jax looked back at Cassie. “And you are deciding things without concern about consequence.”

Cassie shrunk under his voice. “But I-”

“I know, Cassie, you think this will be good. So I have to ask you, why is it good?”

Cassie sat back. “Because… we’ll get to have allies if we help them?”

“That’s a good reason, but here you miss a major point—we could also find out more about rifts. If they know things we don’t then it’ll only benefit us, but at what cost?”

Cassie was going to say something, but remained quiet.

So Jax continued. “We don’t know if they’re stronger than you guys and they very well might be. So maybe next time just say you have a good idea and we can go from there…” Cassie pressed her lips together. “And Lars, maybe don’t doubt Cassie for every little thing she does. Have some faith in her gut choices and listen to her suggestions, but I agree with your concern. This might be a huge waste of time, but I believe we’ll get something out of it and that’s worth the risk.”

The silence continued after he finished talking. The frustrated pair sat with his words without a single retort. Eventually, when the light turned green, Jax started to drive again.

Larson let out a sigh and spoke. “Besides sounding like a parent who’s scolding his children, you…have a point,” Larson began, “but what are we even going to get from this?”

“As I said, we may be able to learn more about rifts. As well as other species that might exist within them.” Jax stated calmly.

Larson sighed. “Fine, we’ll consider taking this guy down…”

“Alright, we’ll go from there.” With that Jax ended the conversation...

Next post

Fun fact: his design still isn't what I want, but it's close enough that I'm willing to settle for this. Jax also does his own hair and at one point, I added a scene where Cassie doesn't know how to give herself cornrows and Jax helps her 😊

[a-halfblood-named-coin]

ITS OVER  😭BD Episode 12 talk/whole series retrospective

I want you to know I was already crying 2 minutes into episode 12 so, I was stable for sure. I’m really glad they wrapped up the threads with them and the organization, that was my biggest concern. I would love to hear other peoples thoughts on why rei’s dad didn’t shoot him at the end, but overall I'm satisfied with that aspect of the show. 

A couple moments really stood out to me though, Rei explaining what he finds important was so sweet and also heartbreaking in it’s simplicity. To know that he finds learning how to make French toast to be a major reason to continue living is so sad. You can really tell how much he was missing in his life, and how  much he loves now. His growth is stellar.

 Ogino’s death was BRUTAL, knife crimes are considered to be more personal and gory because of how close you need to be to your victim to commit them. So the fact that the creepy, last words collector Ogino was killed in a personal crime, rather than being shot (an impersonal crime), was a really nice choice I felt. Plus, rei’s hair was down at the time, in my opinion showing the removal of his “Suwa Heir” persona. Again really nice visual imagery there.

Then the TIME SKIP  😭 😭 😭 😭, I was not expecting that but I really liked it. My only gripe is that it feels like the choice you make when you have no intention to ever make more of a show, which IS fine but just a little sad for those of us who hoped for a season 2. But Miri looks so adorable, Rei looks amazing and Kazuki’s goatee is dumb lol. I won’t really go much into what I think is rei/Kazuki’s canon relationship, because honestly this whole talk of QPR vs regular PR is too much for me. Yes, romance does not have to be a relationships endgame for it to be meaningful, important and life long. But I also don't think people wanting them to be romantic by the end means they’re undermining other types of relationships. Honestly, I don’t think there's enough in BD to say that Kazuki and Rei are in a committed relationship, platonic or not. In terms of canon, I have a feeling they’re just co-parenting, with Rei not being interested in any relationship and Kazuki just not finding one (the man and daughter in your house might be a bit of a hard sell for any lady). But! That doesn’t matter, their relationship with Miri is what the shows about, and you can write WHATEVER you like in terms of fanfiction!

ON that note, here’s my overall thoughts on the whole season.

I really loved how BD handled each of the Dads growth into becoming proper parents. They each have a different life that has given them different reactions and trauma, and neither is treated as worse than the other. I think this show shines in terms of it’s characterization and interactions, it is where the writers flexed their muscles for sure. The overall plot is, eh, but it is everything it needs to be. The plot is basic so that the main characters can dance around it as needed for various scenes and plot points. I mean, you can summarize the whole show like “2 men find a girl, decide to keep her, have to give her up for her safety, and they need to take her in again, the end.” But again, it’s the wholesome and sweet nature of two men learning to love again that carries the show. It’s about the thawing of hearts, of healing and of moving forward stronger than before. Buddy daddies tells its audience that your never stuck. You never have to live tomorrow like you lived today, you can change. From Rei finally leaving an unfulfilling livelihood, Kazuki releasing his guilt over his wife and even to Misaki devoting herself to her daughter until the end. That’s what made this show special and meaningful, its seeing those changes in motion that made me cry. There are things I wish the show explored more, Kazuki/Rei’s relationship being number one of course. But I’m very happy with what we got, a clean, sweet and wholesome season. no cliffhangers, no waiting for a season 2 that may never come, or sitting around for movies announced in 2017. It’s a complete, heartwarming story of learning to love and letting go of the past, and I loved watching it.

Hat’s off to you Buddy Daddies, We had a lot of fun!

[crashdevlin]

Leftoverture 5- Still a Blind Man

Author’s Note: Don’t get me wrong, I loved the finale, but I was thinking about how much I miss Dean and I couldn’t stop thinking about ways I could have him back so…I’m going canon divergent while being as close to canon as possible. ‘Cause that’s how Cassie do. Leftoverture crosses over with Crash Into Me !

Summary: Dean throws in the towel a lot faster than Sam would like. Something's not quite right about Crash giving in and Sam's going to figure it out if Dean won't.

Pairing: Dean x OFC (Crash)

Word count: 1986

Story Warnings: angst, Post-barn scene sads, mentions of major character deaths (Dean and AU!Sam), mentions of depression and suicidal thoughts, memory fuckery, Chuck being an asshole, lots of pain and horribleness, mentions of brainwashing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam came into the garage as Dean pulled in, obviously expecting to welcome his sister-in-law and step-niece home. His face fell when Dean got out of the car and slammed the door.

"What happened? Where's Cassie?"

"She stayed in Florida," Dean snapped. "With Chuck."

Sam's eyes went wide. "What?"

"Yeah. Apparently, Chuck cozied up to her parents and moved into Crash's room after we let him live." Dean stomped toward the stairs. "He's been calling himself 'Erik' and got in her head about our relationship and her self-esteem has taken a dive because that's always been an issue for her and he knows exactly what issues she has 'cause he's Chuck!"

"Wait, but...but you're alive so why wouldn't she-"

"Because he made her think that we were only together because he wrote it!" He had to take a deep breath to control his emotions about it. "Which is bullshit! Chuck might have pushed her into my life, but he didn't make her the woman I fell for. He didn't...I mean, he wrote circumstances! He didn't write personalities! He didn't write the way she kissed me or how she sings or how she always puts every single person in the world in front of herself and how she never shoulda fallen for a fuck-up like me or…"

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "She told me to leave. Not even for the kid's wellbeing or to keep from having to deal with my next inevitable demise...Chuck said he was the only reason a woman like her ended up with a guy like me and she ate it up. She downed it like poison and turned in on herself immediately. It was like he confirmed every fear and suspicion she had about our relationship and it...I shouldn’t have even gone. She was better off…" Dean clicked his tongue against his teeth and started down the stairs. "Better off thinking I was dead."

"Dean, get out of the damn pity party for a minute, okay?" Sam followed him into the Bunker. "If you hadn't gone, if you hadn't let her know you’re alive, you wouldn't know that Chuck had infiltrated her life. What are you going to do abou-"

"Nothing." Dean turned in the hallway, looking up at his brother. "I'm not gonna do anything. She knows who he is and what he's done and she sent me home. She made her choice."

"Choice? What choice?"

"To believe him! To look at our whole relationship and boil it all down to one moment that Chuck created, one situation where he pushed her out of her norm, and decide that everything after that was him!" He scoffed. "Every night I laid awake thinking about her smile, every dream I had about some balance of domestic bliss and hunting with her, every song I can't listen to anymore without thinking of her, every dumb green witch or Vegas lights, frickin' Tombstone I associate with her too, but fuck, it was all Chuck, right? It was Chuck that made me fall in love with her."

His whole posture went from anger and fire to dejected and depressed. "Whatever. Chuck can have her."

"You don't mean that," Sam disputed.

Dean gave a sad smile. "You remember when she was with Mike? He would put her down, make her feel bad about herself, encourage her bad habits and self-destruction. 'Tween him and Chuck...seems like she's got a type and I'm not it." He started down the hallway toward his room. "I'm gonna go get a few hours. I've gotta be at the firehouse at seven."

"Dean. Wait a-"

"It's probably better this way. Bunker's no place for kids, anyway."

"This is bullshit," Sam growled. "You were looking for a reason not to bring her home with you!"

"She chose to stay!" Dean called back as he turned the corner. "Speaks volumes."

Sam shook his head, pulling his phone out. "I'm calling her!"

"Tell her I made it home safe!" Dean shouted before slamming his door shut.

~~~~

Sam sighed as he looked down at his phone. She didn't answer. He called four times and she didn't answer once. His sister was avoiding his calls, there was no other reason she wouldn't answer. He had to hope she would read a text.

Dean got home and said you chose to stay in Florida with Chuck and I just don’t understand why. Will you please call me back to explain this?

He set the phone on the table and ran his hand through his hair.

"I'm not sure when I'll be back," Dean said, walking into the library as he adjusted his white Lebanon Fire Department polo shirt. "But I'll bring beer when I come home."

"Dean, you can't just carry on like--like you aren't in agony about-"

"Watch me." Dean's tone was nothing more than a challenge, his face as hard as stone. "I'll be home tonight."

"He has your daughter." Sam stood and looked across the library. Dean bit his lip and looked at the floor. "Chuck has Aria. Even if you don't care about Cassie, and I know you're trying to convince yourself of that, you definitely care about what happens to that little girl. With Chuck in her life...and Mike still in her life...what do you think is gonna happen to her?"

Dean swallowed and gave his head a single shake before he started walking toward the garage. "Doesn't matter. She's not my daughter. Her step-daddy got killed saving two other little kids."

"If she's not your daughter, then I'm not your brother," Sam called after him. Dean stopped in the hallway. "Can't have it both ways, Dean. Either you are Dean, and everything that was his is yours, or you're not. You gotta make up your mind."

Sam watched Dean's shoulders tense, then release before he walked away. He scratched at his brow as his brother's form disappeared. "What do I do, Dean?" he whispered before picking up his phone and trying to text his sister-in-law again.

~~~~~~~~~

Three days of Cassie ignoring his calls and texts, and Dean ignoring that there was an issue, drove Sam to a slightly extreme option.

"Hello?" a soft, high-pitched voice answered the phone.

"Hey, Aria. It's Uncle Sam."

"I know. I saw it on the phone. Hi, Uncle Sam."

"Oh. I wasn't sure if you had my number in your contacts." He cleared his throat. "I've been trying to get a hold of your mom and she's not answering her phone. Do you know where she is?"

"She's in Erik's room. He's helping her meditate."

"She's-" Sam pushed his hair out of the way and looked around, despite the fact that Dean was out of the Bunker. "She's alone with Erik?"

"Yeah. He helps Mum meditate every day." She sighed dramatically and it almost made Sam smile. "She's weird when she gets done though. I'm sorry if that's mean to say that."

"What do you mean?"

"She walks weird and talks all slow and she's like when she drinks beers."

"Beers? Like she's drunk?"

"Yeah. Like when her and Dean would sit in the Dean Cave and have drinks and watch movies and she would get kinda wobbly but not sick wobbly? That's what she's like after."

Sam could hear worry in the young girl's voice. "Oh, okay. I'm...I'm sure that's just how the meditation is affecting her," he tried to soothe her. "She is probably just really relaxed after."

"Okay."

"Can you tell me if your mom has been acting weird other than just after meditation with Ch--Erik?"

"Um...she's dressing up a lot...and wearing makeup again, but all the time, not just when she's going out."

"Is, uh, is Erik your mom's boyfriend?" Sam didn’t want to know the answer, but he felt that he needed to know so that he could give Dean the full picture.

"I saw him kiss her."

"Right." Sam was more than a little upset that Dean's jealous assumption was right. "Um...that’s okay. Can you...do you know how to text?"

"Yeah."

"Do me a favor; if you see your mom acting really weird, text me."

"So she doesn't hear me on the phone with you?"

"So Erik doesn't hear," Sam corrected.

"Okay."

"Thank you."

"I miss Dean. Is he ever coming back?"

Sam ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "I'm working on it, sweetie."

"Okay. I hope you get him back soon. Mum isn't the same without him."

"Me either." Sam looked up at the ceiling and sighed. "I'll fix this. Just keep an eye on your mom for me, okay?"

"Okay!"

"Bye, Aria."

"Bye, Uncle Sam," she whispered before the call disconnected.

~~~~~~~~

"Dean, we need to talk." Sam had the words prepared, he just needed his brother to actually listen to them.

Dean shook his head, not looking up from his sheet of firefighter radio codes.  "Nope."

"Just listen, then." Sam sat down across from him, hoping Dean would give eye contact, but not being given the satisfaction. "I called Aria's phone and-"

Dean's eyes snapped up. "You what?"

"I called Aria's phone," Sam repeated. "And she misses you. She misses who her mom is with you. She wants to come back."

"She's a ten year old. She's fine without me."

"No, she's not. She's not fine and neither is Cassie. She's--she's weird. Aria said Cassie is weird since Chuck's been around. I think he's doing something to her."

Dean looked back down, putting back up his defenses. "I'm sure he's fucking her by now. She never has had much resistance to a guy who thinks he's God's gift and treats her like crap. This one just happens to be God."

"D-Dean, that's...what the fuck is wrong with you?"

Dean looked up with a tired expression on his face. "What do you want from me, Sam? I died. She left. Chuck got his sights on her. She moved on with him...sent me home to…"

"Did she say she moved on with him? Or did she want you to be with her?" Dean shook his head dismissively but Sam continued before he could argue. "Because Aria says Erik has been helping Cassie meditate. I think he's been fucking with her head and if I'm right, you are leaving her to be controlled by Chuck just like we were controlled our whole damn lives!"

Dean ran his hand down his face. "I don't think so. She looked clear to me. Yeah, she was excited to see me and then she lied and said that 'Erik' was just a nice guy living in her old room and then she chose to stay-"

"What if she didn't know she was lying? What if he's brainwashing her? We've seen that normal humans can do massive damage to a person's psyche with the right psych knowledge and a bit of magic assistance. Chuck would know-"

"Why would he even do that?" Dean argued. "He didn't know I was coming back, he didn't write it, so he couldn't have set this up to punish me."

"Maybe it's a power trip. I just know that this isn't just Cassie falling victim to her poor self worth. She's fallen victim to him."

"Yeah, that's a nice, convenient, coincidence, but I think you're missin' the horse for the zebra." Dean stood, snatching the paper off of the table. "She moved on. She's allowed to do that. Let 'er move on."

"I don't think I can do that." Sam stood and headed in the direction of the garage. "And I don't know how you can."

"Leave it alone!" Dean called after him.

Sam didn’t respond as he picked up his bag of clothes and tossed it in the back of the old pickup truck. He had to know, one way or the other, what the hell was going on in Walton.

~~~~~

The Kitchen Sink Tags- @flamencodiva @sacriceria @lyarr24 @440mxs-wife @nancymcl @stephv213 @mariekoukie6661 @beachy2014 @alwayskeepfightingsweetheart @cosicas-cuquis @queenoftheunderdark @myheartbelongsintz @squirrelnotsam @akshi8278 @muhahaha303 @agirlwithdemonblood

[moonjxsung]

hii pookie, I hope you’re feeling better 🫶🏻

I want to vent about something if that’s okayy

I don’t understand why some fic writers put age caps on their followers. and I don’t mean ‘no minors/18+’ because that makes total sense. I mean the people who put ‘dni if you’re 30+/40+’. I mean, everyone is entitled to their comfort levels but I don’t see the reasoning. 

I hate when I find a good fic writer and they have something like that in their rules, because it just gives me the icks and makes me not follow them. I’m in my early twenties btw, so it doesn’t personally affect me but like… I don’t like it? why are you excluding a certain age group? also, I understand not necessarily wanting to be friends with someone who is older than you, but you don’t even want them to read your fics/interact with you? at all? like, them liking or commenting doesn’t mean you have to be friends? it just feels mean ☹️

and I would get it if it’s someone who is like weird about skz and sexualized them when they were minors, but a majority of the 30+ stays I’ve met see skz as their babies anyway. and if they do express attraction to them make it clear that they are attracted to the now adult versions of them and not when they were babies. so to make a generalization based on one uncomfy group of people doesn’t make sense to me either. like I know maybe it’s not bullying, but it feels weirdly exclusionary when it’s not necessary?

also, in the same vein, kpop fans are way too comfy insulting someone on their age when they’re mad at them for another reason. or, using that person’s age as a reason to why they are the way they are. like, I remember when there were vids circulating of someone who won a fancall with skz and was disrespectful to most of the members and pissed off the other ones. and this lady was in her 30s, and a lot of the comments were like ‘ugh look how old she is, skz wouldn’t want to talk to her anyway’ or ‘she’s so ugly, no wonder she’s alone at her age’ and I was like oh my god. like, I don’t like her either because her attitude sucks, but why is everyone being so nasty? they don’t think or care about how other, perfectly nice and respectful, stays in their 30s or older are gonna think reading that??? it’s not nice!

idkk, I just want good vibes ☹️ and I want people to be more aware of how they talk about age in kpop circles. maybe they don’t want friends a decade older than them, and that’s fine, but those people should still be allowed to enjoy kpop?

-⛈️ / Bae

POOKIE HI I missed you !!!

Also THIS….. I completely agree!!!! Candidly I’ve never seen somebody put an age cap of dni for 30/40+ and that’s insane to me… like a lot of my followers fall into that age range and they are some of the most interactive on this app, not to mention the overwhelming support I get from them that’s literally one of the main reasons I haven’t given up writing as a hobby. It also gives me the ick to see people exclude so openly like that ☹️

Also SO much agreed about the insulting ages thing!! The thing that I never quite understand is like…. You guys are literally going to be that age one day? How is calling somebody their age an insult, yeah that person is 30 or 40? And??? Would you also insult your parents for their ages? Anybody in your real life who’s older than you???? It makes no sense to me and it’s mad disrespectful. I’m turning 25 in march and I’m on the cusp of feeling too “old” to be a kpop fan but at the same time people around our ages are the ones who keep kpop in business 🥲 you think it’s the teenagers who are buying tickets to fly across the country to see skz? Or buying albums to win fancalls??? We should be thanking older fans for their support- they have adult money and they’re helping us support the people we share a mutual love for. There’s nothing wrong with that.

There’s also this aspect of shaming women, specifically, for just liking things past the age of 20. Newsflash- you don’t just stop liking things when you’re an adult. It’s still ingrained in you to be a fangirl when you’re 30, 40… and there’s absolutely no shame in liking boy bands or fanfiction. Excluding older people from being in fandoms is such toxic behavior and it’s such a shame especially when it’s targeting their looks. Idgaf if you’re 90 years old, if you support skz I’m not going to judge you for it and I think it’s rad that we share a mutual love for something. I’m also grateful that you see the value in supporting the boys the same way I do, and I’m grateful if you’re on this app interacting with my content or boosting other authors. Personally my work has so much less to do with just skz, and more about plots and self-discovery and themes and I think any adult is allowed to appreciate that.

Sorry this is such a long response, but I completely agree and you worded this so well 😭🫶 I love you I hope you’re having an amazing week !! 💓🩷⭐️

[middleearthpixie]

Seven Days ~ Chapter Sixteen

Seven Days -  Modern Tolkien AU

Firefighter Frerin Durin died in a fire set deliberately. But after he helps his brother, Thorin find happiness, Frerin is offered a second chance. He has to prove himself worthy by righting the one major wrong in his life. Otherwise, history will repeat and he will die for good this time. The catch? He has seven days in which to do this and isn’t even certain what his major wrong is.

At least, he doesn’t know for long. 

Syd Prescott has known Frerin since high school. She spent one night with him and then he vanished from her life. Now, he claims he wants to make it up to her, to right was he realizes was his major wrong. But can she trust him? And can he prove to her that she can before it’s too late? 

A/N - Updates may be sporadic over the next few days. My husband's dad passed away unexpectedly last weekend and so I haven't had the time or energy right now to write much of anything. But, there will be updates, I just don't now how often. Thank you, as always, for reading and for being patient at this time. 💜

This story is the sequel to Miss Fortune, but is a stand alone story.

Summary: Frerin has only a few hours to convince Syd of his sincerity...

Pairing: Modern!Frerin x OFC Syd Prescott

Characters: Frerin, Thorin, Syd, Alex

Warnings: Angst

Rating: T

Word Count: 3,523

Tag List: @tschrist1 @i-did-not-mean-to @lathalea @linasofia @fizzyxcustard @legolasbadass @kibleedibleedoo @xxbyimm @arrthurpendragon @exhausted-humxn-being @rachel1959 @laurfilijames @sketch-and-write-lover @sherala007 @enchantzz @knittastically @notlostgnome @myselfandfantasy @medusas-hairband @guardianofrivendell @jotink78 @frosticenow @quiall321 @dianakc

If you’d like to be added (or removed) to the tag list, please just let me know!

Previous chapters can be found here.

December 9th

Friday

Syd stared up at the ceiling. Tranquil blue. Her favorite color. Her eyes overflowed once more, tears slipping along her temples, into her hair. She felt so stupid, letting herself fall for Frerin the way she had. And all along, he’d just been playing with her, thinking she’d believe him, especially once he confessed his deep, dark secret to her.

Dead. 

Bullshit.

People didn’t come back from the dead. She’d given enough readings and seances to know that. They might contact you from the other side, but time didn't slip and people didn't get second chances. Dead was dead. There was no coming back from it.

Frerin tried calling her at least a dozen times but she couldn't bring herself to answer any of them. On the last attempt, he’d left a voicemail. 

“Look, Syd, I know you’re pissed and I don’t blame you, but I swear I wasn’t jerking you around or playing with you or trying to make you look stupid. And I don’t know if you’ll even listen to this without deleting it, and I don’t know if you just leave in in the mailbox, it’ll be here after tomorrow night, or tonight, actually, since it’s after one, which makes it Friday. Another twenty-four hours and you won’t remember any of this. But, I will and I’ll… I’ll watch over you, honey, okay? I’ll keep you safe if I can. I love you, Syd. I know you don't believe that, but I do and I—I don't know. I love you. Goodbye, honey.”

She had never heard such naked pain in a voice before, but there just was no way he was telling her the truth. Death was final. 

Wasn’t it?

Her parents had died the summer she graduated high school and more than anything, she’d longed to see them, to hear them, again. But neither she nor her sisters were strong enough to attempt to contact them. So, why could Frerin come back, but her parents couldn’t?

“Because he didn’t come back. He never left and he’s just fucking with you for some twisted reason.”

Her heart ached so badly to know he’d done such a thing. She’d been on the verge of falling so hard for him, wanted so badly to believe him when he’d said he’d changed, when he’d told her he wanted to be with her and only her. 

All. Lies.

“Syd? You okay? It’s almost ten and you never sleep this late.”

She sat up, swiping at her eyes. “I’m fine.”

The door opened and Alex poked her head in. “You sure?”

“Yeah. I—” Her lips trembled. “Frerin and I broke up last night.”

“What? No!” Alex’s eyes were perfectly round. “Why? What happened?”

“I don’t want to go into it, okay? It’s just… we broke up and it’s for the best because he really hasn’t changed at all, you know? He’s the same player he’s always been.”

“I’m so sorry, hon,” Alex came into the room, closed the door behind her, and sank onto the edge of Syd’s bed to wrap her in a hug. “I really hoped he had because you seemed so happy.”

“I know. Me, too. But—” Her voice cracked and the sobs came, and Alex just hugged her tighter.

Frerin stared up at the ceiling. Tranquil gray.

He felt sick. Everything had gone so horribly awry. How could he have fucked it up so badly with Syd? Why hadn’t he just been honest with her from the beginning?

“Because I know what would’ve happened, that’s why. This. This would’ve fucking happened.”

But at least then he’d have had the week to convince her. Now, he was down to hours and she wouldn’t take his calls. He’d left a voicemail. Radio silence. How the fuck was he going to convince her if she wouldn’t listen to him?

Riley lifted her head and yawned and Frerin sighed softly as he reached over to rumple that soft golden fur. “I don’t know how much time I have left, Rile,” he murmured, his hand going still, his throat tightening, “but I know Dís and the boys will be good to you, okay? So, uh, don’t miss me too much. And could you maybe not bark when you see me? It’s tough enough being on that side, without you thinking I’m some demon spirit or whatever.”

The doorbell rang and Riley let out a woof as she leapt from the bed and raced down the hallway. Frerin got up, slid into a pair of black sweatpants, and padded down after her. Did he dare hope Syd decided just come and talk to him?

It was not meant to be.

“Thorin? What’re you doing here?”

Thorin came into the living room. “Making sure you’re still here.”

“I am for now. But… probably not much longer.” Frerin closed the door behind him. “Let me let Riley out.”

“Wait, what do you mean, not much longer?”

“I told Syd the truth and it went about as well as I said it would.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.” Frerin made his way into the kitchen and unlocked the back door to let Riley out into the yard. It was a beautiful day, sunny with crystal blue skies and the fresh snow sparkled liked diamonds all across the back yard. Frerin just stared at it, trying to drink in the beauty he’d miss once he stepped back over the threshold. He wanted to remember all of this, no matter how much it would hurt later on. He had to remember it. Had to remember the bite of the cold air on his skin, the way the wind swept snow into small drifts along the fence, the clean, crisp scent of all of it. He needed to remember the sight of Riley as she chased the birds that dared land in her yard. He’d taken this—and so much more—for granted and learned the hard way to appreciate what the world had to offer. 

“I can talk to her, if you want.”

“She won’t believe you,” Frerin peered at him over his shoulder, “and I should probably warn you. Come tomorrow, you and Al won’t be a couple. You won’t start seeing her until next summer. And you won’t remember any of this week.”

“Like I’m going to forget this,” Thorin scoffed.

“No, you will.” Riley clattered up the back steps and darted into the kitchen, and Frerin closed the door behind her before turning back to his brother. “Everything will be as it was. I think it’ll go back to right around the time I died, but I can’t swear to it. So, maybe I’m wrong and you and Al will be happily screwing each other’s brains out. I—I don’t know anything any more, man. I had this chance and I fucking blew it and I don't know what happens next, aside from the fact that I’ll be dead this time tomorrow. For good this time.”

“She would’ve reacted the same way if you’d told her in the beginning, you know.”

“Yeah, but I’d have had the week to convince her. I’m down to about twelve hours, T. Maybe. Maybe less. And she won’t talk to me. And I can’t fucking blame her. And all I want is her to know I was honest with her.”

“I’ll make sure she knows if you can’t convince her.”

“Don’t bother. She won’t remember any of this, either. All she’ll remember is that I slept with her and didn't bother to call her the next day last summer.” He sank again the counter, raking a hand through his hair. “But, do me a favor? I mean, if you remember at all.”

“Yeah, Frer, anything.”

“Keep an eye on her. I don’t care if you run a background check on every guy she goes out with, just make sure she’s safe, okay?”

“You have time, Frer. Go over to the shop and talk to her.”

“I don’t know I can handle her shoving me away again.”

“I don't know you have a choice, man. Go and talk to her.”

“T, she’s furious with me. She thinks I’m either crazy or a liar or both. She thinks I used her. Again. She doesn’t want to see me.”

“I’ve never seen you give up so easily on a woman, man. What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m trying to accept what’s going to happen and it’s not easy. This isn’t a matter of just breaking up with her. I’m going to die, Thorin. That’s it. I’m down to my last few hours. This time tomorrow, I’ll be on the other side…” His throat seized then and he swallowed hard to clear it. “I’m not going to be here, Thorin. Next time you see me, I’ll be in a casket.”

“You’re a coward, you know that?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I do know. Big, brave firefighter scared to death of being screamed at by the tiny woman he’s been in love with half his life.”

“Spare me the melodramatic bullshit, Frerin. If you love her, go and tell her.”

“I did tell her. And she doesn’t believe me.”

“Tell her again. Tell her until she sees you turn to dust, man. Don’t puss out. If you do nothing, that’s it, remember? If you at least talk to her, there’s a chance.”

“And if she won’t talk to me? She’s ignored my calls, T. Every last one.”

“You’re no worse off than you already are.” Thorin shrugged. “If it was me, I’d be breaking down Lex’s door to make her listen to me. I sure as shit wouldn’t be here just accepting it.”

Frerin pushed away from the counter. “Look, I know what she’s going to do—”

“You think you know. But you don't know and you won’t unless you try.” Thorin looked down at his watch. “I’ve got to get to work. Go and talk to her. Trust me. You really have nothing to lose, man.”

Frerin’s throat tightened as he and Thorin walked to the door. “T, this might be the last time I see you, man. So—uh—if it is—”

“It won’t be,” Thorin told him as he faced him. He was about an inch taller than Frerin, every bit the big brother. “It won’t.”

“You don't know that.”

“No. I don’t. But I know you. And you’re too stubborn to give up without a fight, Frer.”

“Even so, I—uh—that is—I love you, T.”

Thorin’s eyes softened as he reached out to grab Frerin at the back of his neck. “You’re going to be fine, Frer, because you’re going to convince Syd you love her and that you’re not full of shit and maybe we’ll spend Christmas celebrating a couple of engagements.”

“You and Al?”

“She doesn’t know it yet, but,” Thorin nodded, “I’m going to ask her this weekend. And you straighten things out with Syd and we’ll go shopping for rings together.”

“I wouldn’t want to steal your thunder.”

“So don’t. But we’re still doing this. And I’m going to expect you to say yes when I ask you to be my best man.”

“Thorin, I—”

“We are still doing this. And I’ll say yes when you ask me to be your best man.”

Frerin nodded. “Yeah. We’ll still do it.”

“Good. Now, go shower and get over to Miss Fortune’s. Today isn’t over yet.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Alex, stop asking me.” Syd tried to ignore the stabbing pain behind her eyes as the bell above the door jingled and a group of teens came into the shop.

“I wish you’d tell me what happened. Or let me have Thorin pound some sense into his brother, because I’m sure he would.”

“Lex, you wouldn’t believe me if I did.”

“Try me.”

Syd reached up to rub her temples in the hopes of chasing her headache away. For all the good it did. She’d gotten almost no sleep, as a broken heart didn’t exactly aid in sweet dreams, and she’d played Frerin’s voicemail over to the point where she could hear it in her head. She deleted it, only to retrieve it and listened to it a dozen more times. 

“I heard it myself and I didn't believe it. You won’t either.”

“Syd, we come a long line of witches and seers. I’ll believe almost anything you tell me.”

“You won’t believe this.”

Alex leveled a long look at her. “Try me.”

Syd sighed. “Okay.”

She launched into what Frerin had told her last night, her voice breaking, her throat tightening, her eyes stinging, but to her surprise, Alex didn't look more than concerned as Syd finished with, “He was just using me, Lex. Just wanted to get me in bed again.”

“I don't know, Syd. You said he’s been calling you ever since, right? And you slept with him days ago and he hasn’t vanished, right? And you just told me he’s calling you his girlfriend.” She arched one brow. “The boyfriend?”

“Yeah, but it’s insane. No one comes back—” She lowered her voice as the teens emerged from the book stacks, each clutching a paperback on crystals. “All set?”

“Will you be getting any more of the Candlework for Dummies books in?”

Syd nodded. “We should be. I’m actually going to be going over for a meeting later with the vendor, so I can talk to them about getting it in our next order.”

“Wait, why are you going there?” Alex asked as she reached across the counter to take the first book. 

“The district manager called me about an invoicing problem and wanted to sit down to talk about it. I was supposed to meet with them next week, so we just moved it up to today.” 

“What time?”

“Four.” Syd reached beneath the counter to grab bags. “Are these together or separate?”

“Together.”

Alex scanned and Syd bagged and after the teens left, Alex said, “As I was saying, I’m not so sure Frerin is lying to you. When we were in Stowe, Thorin woke up from this nightmare looking like he’d seen a ghost. He said he’d dreamed that Frerin was at a fire and the building collapsed on him and he didn't make it out.”

“Lex, Frerin is a firefighter. It makes sense to have a dream like that about him.”

“No, this was different.” Alex tucked a lock of black hair behind her left ear, her forehead furrowing. “He said he’d never dreamed anything this vivid about Frerin before. And that wasn't it. He wasn't alone. He was trying to get someone out, when the smoke overtook him and then the roof fell in. Maybe that’s what’s going to happen.”

“And he knows about it?”

“Thorin told me his family is descended from the vǫlur, and from Druid high priestesses and priests. They believe in this stuff just as we do. What if Frerin is telling you the truth? I mean, it sounds so crazy, it kind of has to be true, don't you think? Who would make that up?”

“But, what if he’s just dicking around with me, Lex?”

“What if he isn’t, though? This isn’t a matter of you can always laugh about it tomorrow. If he’s telling you the truth and Thorin saw it, you get this one chance, Syd. Go talk to him.”

Syd’s belly kinked and genuine fear chilled her blood. “You don’t think I’m being completely stupid?”

“Syd,” Alex offered up that same long look, “have I never not told you when you were being completely stupid?”

“Well, no.”

“Yeah. I don't think it would be stupid. Just the opposite, actually. And, I kind of feel like you should go now and talk to him. Like, right now. In fact, I’m impatient for you to go now. Here,” she reached under the counter for her purse, and came up with her car keys, “take my car and then just come back and get me when your meeting is over, okay?”

Syd looked from the keys dangling from her sister’s hand to the green eyes filled with concern and a hint of fear fluttered through her. If Alex thought she should give Frerin the chance, then she should probably give him the chance. Alex was the most level-headed of them all. 

“Okay.”

“And let me know, okay? I’m kind of worried for him.”

Syd took the keys to Alex’s red Jeep, as Alex drove them both to work that morning. “Lex, are you sure?”

“I am. Go and hear him out. You’ll really regret it if you don’t.” 

Syd nodded. “Okay. Yeah.”

“I mean, it can wait until after the makeup sex, but let me know.”

“Lex!”

“What? Just… not in my car, okay? Not even Thorin has gotten lucky in Betty.”

“You call your car Betty?”

“Syd!”

“Right. Okay. I’m going over to Frerin’s.” Butterflies erupted in her belly as her throat tightened. “Wish me luck.”

“Luck.” Alex hugged her and then gave her a gentle shove. “Go.”

Syd went back to the break room to grab her coat, and then hurried out to where Alex’s Jeep (Betty?) was parked. As she was shorter than Alex, Syd offered up a silent prayer for forgiveness as she moved first the seat, then the mirrors. 

Then, she turned over the ignition and carefully eased out of her space. Her heart hammered her ribs to make dots dance before her eyes every now and again and she had to remind herself to breathe. She couldn’t help it. She’d been an idiot, all right, and she knew Alex wouldn’t steer her wrong. She trusted Alex when she didn't trust herself. And besides, like Alex said, if Frerin wasn't bullshitting her, she ran the risk of losing him forever and that was one risk she was not about to take. 

She drummed nervously on the wheel as she steered down Main Street and made the left onto Atwood, then a right onto Riverview. As the gray Cape Cod with dark blue shutters came into view, her mouth went dry and her heart sped up to the point where she wouldn’t have been surprised if it burst clear out of her chest. 

And as quickly as it sped up, her spirits sank and slowed it down.

Frerin’s driveway was empty. It was his day off. He didn't go on shift until eight o’clock tomorrow morning.

So, where was he?

Her gut curdled, although she had no cause for it to do so. She’d told him in no uncertain terms they were finished, so if he was out chatting up a beautiful blond or brunette or redhead, with the intention of bringing her home, there was nothing she could do about it. 

She sat there for a moment, and then reached for her cell phone, toggling to her voice mails. 

“Look, Syd, I know you’re pissed and I don’t blame you, but I swear I wasn’t jerking you around or playing with you or trying to make you look stupid. And I don’t know if you’ll even listen to this without deleting it, and I don’t know if you just leave in in the mailbox, it’ll be here after tomorrow night, or tonight, actually, since it’s after one, which makes it Friday. Another twenty-four hours and you won’t remember any of this. But, I will and I’ll… I’ll watch over you, honey, okay? I’ll keep you safe if I can. I love you, Syd. I know you don't believe that, but I do and I—I don't know. I love you. Goodbye, honey.”

Goodbye.

Her eyes welled up, tears spilling over her lower lashes as she started down at his contact photo, splopping onto the screen as she couldn't hold them back. “I do love you,” she whispered.

Then, she sniffed, dragged her sleeve across her eyes, and hit Mobile to dial his phone. 

Her heart sped up again, the black dots worse as his cell rang. And rang. And rang.

And went to voicemail.

“Hey, it’s Frerin. Sorry I missed you. You know the drill—leave me a message and I’ll call you back eventually. Bye.”

She could almost hear the smile in his deep voice, and without thinking, she said, “It’s me—ah, Syd, Frerin. I—uh—I’m sorry. No, that’s stupid… I mean, I am sorry, but I—give me a call when you get this, okay? I think we need to talk. So, uh, just call me. I don't care what time it is. Bye.”

She clicked off and a moment later, her cell rang. Her hopes shot through the Jeep’s ceiling, but crashed just was fast when the caller came up as unknown. She let it go to voicemail and with a sigh, eased the Jeep into reverse to back out of the driveway. It was almost time for her meeting anyway, so she put the transmission into gear and made her way toward the western side of Cranford, toward Park Street, where a massive industrial park housed Erich and Rice, the vendor with the invoice problem that apparently couldn't be resolved over the phone.

[taestefully-in-luv]

Okay, our time chapter 2, analysis, go!:

Again, with the tension between JK and Misuk, makes a lot more sense, knowing what we know.

This is the freshest thing in my mind lol forgive me for going out of order but the drinking. Idk how I didn’t put it together sooner! All the empty (and full) beer bottles, soju bottles, the glass of vodka next to a shot bottle. All subtle hints to how he’s living. We don’t know what he’s doing when he isn’t with Y/N, so the chances of him going home and then drinking there is pretty high, I think.

Y/N’s mom also mentions how things are easier to get through when you’re, and I quote, “[…] together.” I think that’s a definite hint to them wanting Y/N and Jungkook back together. They obviously are already aware of the divorce at this point, so I think it was a subtle hint to OC that she needs to (should?) stay with Jungkook.

The scene where OC calls JK “Ribbit”! I believe he said something along the lines of, “I just really fucking missed you”, and though I’m sure he was talking about the three months Y/N was in a coma, I think it’s safe to say that he was 100% also talking about the time they spent apart after the divorce. Obviously, at this point it time, both us readers and Y/N are too in the dark about everything to look at anything deeper than just surface level, so this was a really neat way to include some foreshadowing without being super in your face with it.

I also don’t think I really have to mention the physical affection again, but I will, anyway. Jungkook pulling away during the kitchen-shoulder-massage scene makes a lot more sense now, since we know he was obviously like “oh shit I’ve gotten too comfortably too quickly fuck”, and then (effectively) trying to deflect by hugging OC again thereafter. The amount of sexual tension during their little “sleep over” scene, where they talk about the wedding, was literally killing me. The image about JK spreading his ⚪️⚪️⚪️ all over her killed me the first time and it killed me again this time lmfao.

Also, Jungkook’s jealousy (bc that’s obviously what it is, in hindsight) makes more sense now, too. When she brings up the guy she bumped into at the market, and insinuates that she might’ve been sleeping with him (and possibly others as well), Jungkook changes the conversation. Also mentioning how he doesn’t wanna talk about “[their]” past sex lives— because they were both, as Y/N puts it, involved with one another at some point as well.

I think that’s everything for this chapter 😭✋🏻

Lmk if I missed anything? Or just lmk how well I did?

Still obsessed with your writing </3

🤍🤍🤍

chapter 2:

1. true…..but do we know everything? 👀

2. oh yes, our introduction to jungkooks apartment is the first huge sign that something is off with him! it’s supposed to represent everything he’s not (according to yn) but in ch 6 when we get his pov it gets talked about how this is his new normal and this is who he knows himself as now :/

3. it does seem like yn’s parents think that the best thing for yn and jk is to be together but they probably also don’t know everything. or maybe they do 👀 but we will see

4. exactly! in fact, yn even makes the connection that he was referring to the three months she was in the coma. because obviously for her, there’s no other reason for him to miss her that much

5. oh yes that little intrusive thought of hers was probably my own intrusive thought bc i added that detail in without thinking about it ahhahaha but it felt fitting so i kept it

6. he DEFINITELY got uncomfortable, yes. it’s one thing to keep their relationship a secret for obvious reasons but it sucked extra bad for him that he couldn’t give her a solid explanation for why he didn’t wanna hear about her possible sex life after him 🤷‍♀️ so changing the conversation is the the better route

it sounds like you got all the major stuff! it’s been a while so i can’t remember everything either but i’m sure you’ll have picked out more things as the chapters go 🥰

thank you for doing this btw 🥺 i’m having fun~

[sundaynightlive]

My Live Heartstopper 2 Reactions

Right so this is an EXTREMELY long post and I know nobody cares but it helped me get all my emotions out in a healthy way instead of punching walls so that’s a plus 👍🏻. MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR SPOILERS, so be warned, aight? Some of my reactions are genuinely funny—wish I had filmed myself because oh boy.

(TW: Eating disorders and homophobia. Also: Chaos, spoilers, and unhealthy fangirling).

Episode 1

Oh my god I’m literally more nervous for this than I was for my tattoo I’m gonna cry

HI ❤️

Charlie you better eat that cereal why are you just holding it.

The soundtrack is already banging holy balls.

THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE OH MY GOSH.

AGGRESSIVE KISSING OH MY GOD THAT WAS CRAZY THE PASSION I—

They’re so happy. I’m so happy they’re happy. And the smile every time they greet each other. And they’re BESTIES which is SO REAL.

THE UPSIDE-DOWN KISS SHOT WAS MAGICAL—

Ooh I missed the little sparkles of Heartstopper

Need this tattooed on my body fr.

Elle is gorgeous. Elle is gorgeous. Elle is gorgeous and I love her. She’s gorgeous. Oh my gosh my sapphic heart wants her so bad.

That was weird. Oop—that product placement is as a tiny bit goofy? Was the product placement? I’ve only read one book.

No she fancies Ben—I already can see it coming. No NO NO NO NO IMOGEN NO.

Oh I can feel the stress. I have to look up what this test is I guess because I can FEEL the stress—NEVERMIND I KNOW WHAT THE STRESS IS—

This is an incredible scene. Oh my FUCKING god.

This teacher is really doing the most for no reason.

I NEED YOU.

Of course Harry’s out here saying some slightly misogynistic shit out the gate.

Elle and Tao will be magical together I already know.

YES OH MY GOD THEY GET DOODLES TOO?????? YESSSSSSS.

Bro is this product placement or is it in the comics. It must be in the comics and I just don’t know about it lmao. Because otherwise this product placement is WILD.

UH OH NO UH OH STOP PLEASE I CAN’T—alright it’s fine. Everything’s fine. Deep breaths. Whew all good.

As a partially-closeted gay person that was a lot for me.

I love Tori and her actress so much (is actress still a real term??? I feel like it’s not).

This is cute huh.

I love Imogen. I love Imogen. She’s so cute.

SHE’S AN ALLY IM PISSING—

God Elle is gorgeous in every scene.

Tao’s hair isn’t even bad idk what everybody was saying in the first season it’s goofy but it’s not the worst haircut in the world.

THAT WAS SO INTENSE. THEY HAVE CRAZY CHEMISTRY WHAT????!?????

Isaac always reading is such a vibe he just likes to be in the room with everyone and it’s so me.

You got this Nick. I love you and I believe in you.

Woah Tao. Simmer down babe.

YOU GOT THIS! YOU GOT IT! They are so supportive it’s so wonderful this is so sweet fuck me.

THAT WAS SO GOOD.

“I’m sorry I don’t actually know how to react,” IS A PERFECT REACTION FUCK.

Oh balls I KNEW IT.

They’re girls together. I love watching girlhood between queer people. This show is everything.

Hands ✨

I wish I had this many friends.

HI LEAVES HOW ARE YOU—AHHHHHHHH KISSES YES. This is kind of a lot for being in front of everyone.

Darcy is so real.

Not the hanky panky.

BRING ON THE BROTHER. This is the bullshit fuckery im excited for I want nick to DESTROY HIS HOMOPHOBIC BROTHER. Verbally, of course.

Episode 2

Why is everyone struggling? I kind of hate this trope so much my grades did not slip when I got in a secret homosexual relationship I was literally valedictorian I promise it’s not that distracting.

Bros being so mean wtf.

Woah I have never seen Charlie looking so much like Joe.

Mum’s sassy woah.

DAVID. BRING ON THE BROTHER. FIST FIIIIIIIGHT.

Sorry I’m just excited.

Kit Connor is so pretty.

I FORGOT CHARLIE’S A DRUMMER THAT’S SO RANDOM AND COOL.

Not the WHAT with the blank expression.

Wait that is so cute #meandmygf when both our parents are psycho conservatives #starcrossedlovers

❤️

Ben and Imogen is such a fucking no I feel sick. I am literally sick.

I know all these extras are so freaking excited to be here—I love them all.

Who tf says ‘eve’ in a text?

Ben’s weird ass look lmao.

This is goofy and I love it. Fuck off Ben stop with that state.

Dude Mr. Farouk needs to chill so hard.

SHUT THE FUCK UP BEN. GET HIM NICK. SICK EM. EAT SHIT.

Broooo why would you put them in a room together are you frickin serious?????

NICK YOU ARE NOTHING LIKE HIM I hate Ben so much I what a perfect perfect perfect gray-area villain

David what are you even talking about rn.

God they are good together are you kidding? They casted so perfectly I’ve never been more in love with a couple in my life. They are phenomenal actors because idk how they could be like this and not be in love.

The SOUNDTRACK ARE YOU KIDDING

“I think Nellie loves him” NO YOU

The queer extras are my favorite in the whole world.

NON-BINARY PERSON oh my god hi me too

God she’s perfect here. To be fair she’s just generally perfect. THE THREE OF THEM ARE PERFECT.

What a lovely conversation for this show to have, so simple and so chill and so real.

Oh Tao. I love you I wish I could give you a hug, poor dude.

If Ben fucks up Nick’s math exam istg—

Oh Imogen—I’m so sorry sweetheart.

Oh shit fuck this feels like such unnecessary stress I hate hate hate hate hate this—NO BRO RAISE YOUR HAND AND TELL HER—

Bro if he’s in trouble I’m gonna lose it I will literally be so sad.

Elle is stunning.

Elle he likes you oh my god ELLE HE LIKES YOU.

Gosh she’s tall too I love tall women.

Bro what marvel movie were they watching ????? Hello ????? Also—David is still here isn’t he?

NELLIE IS PERFECT.

No no no no no no no no no bro I’m gonna be physically ill.

PUNCH THAT MF IN THE FACE holy FUCK.

Oh my god this is so sad, but also definitely the conflict I’m here for and not this schoolwork shit. I hate schoolwork conflicts.

It’s not your fault Charlie I’m so sorry.

God Mom he needs you right now are you serious?????

We all know damn well you did not eat at Nick’s.

To be so fair this is exactly what happened to me and my gf when we started telling people it just became a mess.

Oh god the voice memo was perfect Nick. That was such a perfect way to get your sincerity across. Wow I LOVE that.

CUT YOUR HAIR OUT OF JEALOUSY TAO !!!

That’s half a joke.

But I would do it (I’m crazy and petty).

Cantonese is very soft or maybe it was just the way she said it but my ears liked it.

I deadass thought she was gonna be right behind him lmao.

Episode 3

IKEA??????? Boy.

Aw nice boys. Thank you.

The way Otis just looked back like bro are you serious—

Damn it he almost had it shit.

Charlie and Joe are ebbing and flowing and I love that he’s like 15-dimensional it’s so nice and natural I love Joe he is so talented.

YAY SHE IS SO NICE ARE YOU SERIOUS???? SHE HAS A WIFE. My girlfriend did women’s rugby gayest sport in the world. I literally just jumped up and down this show is so good fuck.

HER LITTLE GIGGLE SDFGHJKL

Tao not on the school computer wtf.

I’m like actually stressed about Charlie’s paper and Nick’s math I remember being stressed and fucked up by these things and I do not like the coursework issues as pieces of plot it really gets me—not to say it’s the show’s fault. I think that’s just because school killed me.

Oh Tara and Darcy.

I am in fear. I am currently in very much fear.

Ben looks like such an ass fr.

DARCY’S SARCASM IM PISSING—

HE IS SO SWEET ABSOLUTELY SO SWEET. HOLY PISS AND SHIT THIS IS PERFECT. AND HIS HAAAAAAIR. OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING.

THAT WAS ADORABLE.

They are very good together.

The 1975???? Slay?????

I LOVE TORI. IM PISSING.

“Look after him. Or you die.”

The most unrealistic thing about this show is that people don’t know they’re together when they’re always standing so fucking close together and glancing at each others’ mouths.

Now why is that popcorn so big.

Bro Elle looks perfect all the time I would also be awkwardly silent next to her.

Oh Tara.

Joe and Nick look SO GOOD in these outfits.

Elle definitely put her hand there on purpose so he’d grab it.

BRO WHAT IS GOING ON THIS IS PAINFUL.

I take it back Nick should’ve been wearing different pants.

Oh no this is literally my nightmare.

Bro Harry putting his arm around Nick like nothing’s wrong and the panic that must be flooding through Nick’s veins is so FUCKING REAL I have been in situations so similar to this and if he comes out now I will never forgive Alice because this is a horrific time for this.

I am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the studio today.

Oh Tao I love you I’m so sorry. God he is so me. God what a nice hug. I feel so bad for him. Holy fuck.

And CHARLIE god this is my nightmare.

Oh Nick too.

EVERYONE IS SAD AND I AM SAD.

Oh baby oh my god.

Charlie is a literal angel AND SO IS NICK’S MOM.

YOU DON’T OWE THEM ANYTHING. THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL FUCKING MESSAGE.

Oh Charlie my heart aches for you.

Episode 4

Charlie why wouldn’t you sit next to each other???? Charlie???? What is this madness?????

Tao’s hair is slaying.

Mr. Farouk is crazy.

Paris is gonna fix everything I see.

Okay Nick and Tao getting together makes my heart absolutely so full.

NICK’S DAD IS FRENCH??????? Bro I need to read these don’t I?

Aw Mr. Farouk’s little smile.

Darcy is fantastic at changing the subject I wish I had the skill.

Bro Ben’s whole role this season is glaring I’m pissing myself giggling about it.

Bro read the ROOM of COURSE they wanted to share.

Um why is their room so tiny????

Even their hands look perfect together god DAMN.

WAIT Tao that was so fucking sweet.

NO THIS IS THE HICKEY SCENE. THIS IS THE HICKEY SCENE. OH MY GOD IS THIS THE HICKEY SCENE?

Incredible like delivery Kizzy FUCK I loved that.

Also it was not the hickey scene.

Ben looks so unenthused with Imogen at all times and I’m pissed about it.

Jesus that was rude Ben. Fuck you.

This is so weird but I wanna know what order they shot these scenes in bc the whole bus scene Farouk kept being all smiley towards Ajayi but now he’s like super unimpressed with him and it’s not tracking but honestly that’s kind of sweet and almost like foreshadowing I love it.

Tao. Looks. So. Good.

ELLE’S BOOTS ARE FIRE ARE YOU SERIOUS?????

Charlie just grab his hand there’s literally no one around.

NICK BEING FLUENT IN FRENCH IS SO GOOD AND IMPRESSIVE DOES CHARLIE KNOW?????

Also Kit Connor speaking French is just ahhhhhh

TARA’S A DANCER??? ME TOO. ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO.

Darcy is so my girlfriend. Don’t worry Tara she’ll come around I promise. My girlfriend didn’t say I love you back to me for months babe. It’s just hard for some people.

Charlie…

God Paris is beautiful.

Straight people are so goofy thinking relationships mean you stop being friends.

BRO THIS SONG GOES CRAZY????

Okay the yelling was so funny.

They’re perfect together for real.

The BUTTERFLIES???? THE BUTTERFLIES????

I actually love Imogen so much. Ben needs to get his greasy hands off her fr.

Darcy’s non-binary shirt is everything. Thank you Heartstopper, thank you Kizzy.

WHY IS CHARLIE BY BEN???? WHO ALLOWED THIS?????

NO. NO NO NO. NO.

Okay. Deadass, I wish I had recorded myself—The whole conversation just went down, and I sat there with my hand shaking around my face, and when HARRY went “There’s no reason to call her a bitch” I fucking LOST MY MIND because you know it’s bad when HARRY SAYS SOMETHING OBJECTIVELY CORRECT. I deadass SCREAMED.

Oh Imogen so wrong but also so cute about it anyway.

Tao and Nick talking makes my heart so happy I want them to be besties.

This is so sweet. Fuck.

Is Nick’s dad a factor here? Because I’m stressed.

I love when my gf hugs me like that.

“Giant Rugby idiot”

Wait this is wild oh my god?????

Real talk—when my gf gets that close to me and is kissing my neck I do not silently stare at the ceiling but I get it we’re innocent and sweet in this house.

Bro the hickey reveal is SO GOOD.

Episode 5

Oh his dad is ghosting him fuck.

Soundtrack going off again

Also unrealistic—giving a hickey without knowing how? You have to suck SO HARD bro—

I’m fully laughing my ass off.

TAO’S EYES I—

I just screamed “OH MY GOD THIS SHOT IS INCREDIBLE THIS IS ART” at the top of my lungs and the neighbors definitely heard but BLURRY BEN SITTING IN BETWEEN MATCHING NICK AND CHARLIE WHEN HE LEARNS ABOUT THE HICKY???? 10/10 cinema. Give it an Oscar right now.

That’s the biggest croissant I have ever seen.

BEN BLURRY IN THE BACKGROUND OF THESE SHOTS IS JUST SO—

Joe Locke is gorgeous I can’t. He’s like literally a sculpture.

SHUT UP HARRY.

Oh my fucking god.

“I don’t give a rats ass rudeboy, grow up” is the single greatest like in all of Heartstopper and I will tattoo it on my body.

What is Nick’s outfit? Why do they keep giving him ridiculous pants?

Tao and Elle are a fucking gorgeous couple.

GO OFF ISAAC. GO OFF.

Kizzy and Corinna are just ah just god just I want them both just AH.

THAT FRAME OF BEN AND NICK IS FUNNIER THAN THE ONE THAT WENT VIRAL.

I hate Ben. I am going to cry.

I’m scared Charlie’s going to pass out. Imagine he just falls off the tower lmao what a twist one of them literally dies 😭😭

HARRY! HARRY! HARRY! Good job Isaac.

Okay he JUST called are you serious?

Tao’s fits are fucking fire bro.

SO ARE YOU CHARLIE. SO ARE YOU.

Doing a friend lock instead of a boyfriend one is so real.

I’m really freaked about the end of the season. I feel like I know the storm that’s coming and I don’t know if I can take it.

Nick being able to talk to anyone about everything is the best trope of this entire show. He is truly a saint (Santa Claus type beat lmfao)

No Charlie eat please. I’m begging you. You deserve love and food. I love him. I love this show.

Kizzy is so handsome.

Things are falling apart. I am falling apart. This is bad. This is real bad.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ENJOY ELLE AND TAO WHEN I KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING ELSEWHERE???????

Yeah okay I’m enjoying it I LOVE THEM!!!!

THE BUTTERFLIES.

Beautiful artist couple.

I wanna understand. He wants. To. Understand. MY PARENTS DIDN’T EVEN— AHHHAGDJAHANDHEJAB he’s a saint.

Nick is about to make me uncontrollably sob.

He was so close to I love you fr.

I hate Nick’s outfit so much.

Charlie finding out he speaks French has me KICKING MY FUCKING FEET AND GIGGLING.

Gets in trouble, “Run!” *runs towards the person getting them in trouble*

They look so genuinely perfect together it’s insane. The casting for this shit is fucking crazy.

Goated soundtrack.

Why does Nick have to be dressed like this though like I get it but I completely do not get it.

I’m uncomfy.

Oh god. He doesn’t know me. This is getting way, WAY to real now.

I just belly laughed at Tao sheepishly shuffling out of the bathroom and going, “I have something to share.”

Okay this is adorable I wish I had friends in high school (or ever)

WAIT OH MY GOD—I was upset they got busted by I AM NOT EVEN REMOTELY UPSET ANYMORE.

This is fucking perfect.

This show does not fail to save me. It saved me with the first season and it’s saving me a second time now.

Isaac in the bookstore is so me.

Oh yes YES YES YES!

The pride street. I’m fucking sobbing.

The hand shot?!?!? THE HAND SHOT?!?!

I really need Tara and Darcy to talk.

Oh no this is not what I want I really do not want this I really don’t like that there is alc here in this situation.

Ben is here??? What???

Everyone and their brother has a crush on Charlie and like I totally get it but also he is so OBLIVIOUS.

LUCY DACUS???? FUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Also the ace/aro representation is so good I fuckin love you Isaac.

“No.”

Okay let me be so real, Harry is an ass but Ben assaulted Charlie and he gets to be here???? Like not that I want Harry to be around either but????? Like?????

WHO INVITED BEN?!?!?

TAO’S SCARY ASS CRAWL I CAN’T—

YES. YES NICK. FUCK IM CRASHING.

Darcy why tho.

They are such good actors it’s so hard to remember they aren’t actually in love.

Not to be delulu but they are so Merlin/Arthur core.

I thought they were about to have an “oh shit I’m about to get turned on” moment but it didn’t go that way.

ONE BED TROPE. YASSSSSS. YASSSS. GAY TEACHERS. YASSSS.

WHAT IS THAT MELODYYYY??????

They sleep like me and my gf do, always switching positions. Got that’s so real. I’m fucking obsessed.

Peach comforter cute as hell.

Good song. Heard it on the soundtrack before.

Holy BALLS JOE LOCKE IS BEAUTIFUL.

YES ELLE! YES ELLE!

TAO PICKING UP HIS MOTHER SUPREMACY

“My summer is for sleeping.” Tori is me.

Ben. Actually piss off. There will be no accidental adultery in this show. I’m manifesting.

Oh Darcy. The purple clouds are amazing detail but Oh Darcy.

Tell him. Tell him. Tell him.

Tell him.

Tell him.

You promised. Tell him.

CONAN GRAY? IN MY CITY?

PHYSICALLY GASPED AT ELLE.

Yes. Yes Isaac yes. Fuck. I love you Isaac. YOU ARE FREE FROM EVERYONE ELSE’S PICTURE OF LIFE. YOU’RE AMAZING. FUCK.

MORE CONAN?

Yes Tao. He’s fucking supportive. I can see it in his face.

THE PAINTING???? THE ART ROOM?????

TAO THAt IS SO FUCKING MATURE.

My parents will never accept me either but I’m not a goddamn predator asshole.

This is fucking RAW. Oh my GOD. God, Charlie that was fucking powerful and perfect. Me too. I feel it. I felt you. AND HE STEPPED AWAY FROM THE RAINBOW HE COULD HAVE GONE IN AND SEEN.

FUCK.

Fuck you David. I already know you’re about to do some DUMB SHIT.

Bro did they not warn Charlie’s parents?????

GO OFF TORI.

Oh my god GO OFF NICK???? GO OFF???? HOLY FUCK????

He’s not a very good dad, is he?

I like Nick’s pink shirt.

I love Tori so fucking much. Oh my GOD.

Your brother’s a prick.

Oh Nick. Oh NICK. Oh Nick.

Darcy, baby. Fuck.

(Good ass soundtrack tho)

Episode 8

I’m so stressed about Charlie. Please no storm.

Okay this time the soundtrack jumped in a little too strong????

SWITCH! SWITCH!

NICK’S OUTFIT IS FIRE (it’s just the jumper but still)

ALLY! ALLY! (Except they’re both gay lmfao)

WINGWOMAN! That’s the word.

Tell him. Tell him. Tell him.

Fuck. I’m gonna sob.

YES THEY’RE CONNECTING.

Me neither.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Noooo Charlie nooooo it’s not gonna be like that. Charlie I’m so sorry. Fuck fuck fuck.

FOLKLORE POSTER??? YES??

GOD ELLE IS GORGEOUS. AND I LOVE HER PARENTS.

CHARLIE LOOKS FANTASTIC WTFFFFFFF.

Isaac with the book I love it.

God Seven’s gonna play about Darcy. Seven’s gonna fucking play about Darcy.

MLM WLW SOLIDARITY

YASSSS GET IT QUEEN!!!!

I FUCKING LOVE TAO’S LITTLE HEARTS?????

AND ELLE HAS THEM OHHHHH MY GOD.

lmao Tori.

Harry 🫠🫠🫠🫠

YES GAY TEACHERS.

Imogen is literally gay lmfao.

YAS ISAAC GOT LEAVES FUCK YES FUCK YES I’m sobbing I love queer joy I’m gonna fall apart

The way VERY OBVIOUSLY QUEER extras are the ones gossiping and stressing Charlie out 😭😭😭

No. No. No.

Fuck that woman so hard oh my god.

TINY NICK.

Me too Darcy. I love you. THEY ARE PERFECT. THEY ARE PERFECT. They are me 😭😭 this is so personal to me.

SEVEN! SEVEN! SEVEN! ITS SO SAPPHIC! ITS SO THEM!

These people have got to know they are making something so FUCKING special for queer people. This is my next tattoo for sure.

Queer joy.

THEY LOOK MARRIED!!! THEY LOOK MARRIED!!!!?

THIS IS SO DOMESTIC.

Please talk to him.

Do not fight right now I swear to god.

You don’t have to be perfect with me.

Oh Charlie oh my god. Nick’s fuckiNG TEARS—I just.

This scene. Is. Perfect. Fuck.

THE WHISPERING. THE FUCKING WHISPERING. THE BROKEN ASS WHISPERING.

FOREHEAD KISSES????? IN THIS ECONOMY??????

That blue looks GOOD on him.

The storm was a light rain that spilled the rivers over, but it was fun to walk in and the mud made nice pies, and everything was alright, because they made them together.

this SONG????????

BANGING MY HEAD AGAINSST A WALL.

In conclusion, I will be getting a heartstopper tattoo at my nearest convenience. I’ll be sure to post it.

Also, here’s a cookie for lasting this long 🍪