#and it’s really the only way I like to interact with dragons in fiction

[oneknightlight]

Something I did always like about Skyrim was the idea that dragons are intelligent and sentient. It’s a shame you have to kill them, granted it’s because they attack you, but I really like the way they’re written as though they can choose to hate people or side with people (Paarthurnax). It makes sense to me, I always thought it bizarre when works of fiction make out dragons to be big blundering beasts with no intellect. I can’t explain what makes me feel this way because I don’t study the science that I feel like has the answers for this but it just feels right that the giant reptilian creature, who looks as though it’s related to birds and dinosaurs in a way, with a large brain, and has managed to survive thousands of years, would be intellectual. At the very least, as smart as say a dog or cat or parrot.

[deirdra-hearts-nadia]

I've been thinking about the fandom for The Arcana, and I have come to the conclusion that it's weird as hell. In my 20+ years participating in online fandom spaces, I've never seen a fandom quite like this one. I've seen drama, sure, but the core of most fandoms is a large community of people who love the same media and come together to celebrate it.

The Arcana fandom is not like that. From the very beginning we're more fractured, more factional, more fragile than most. You just have to look around at all the posts lamenting the death of the fandom every 2 weeks to see that something is really wrong here.

And I think a lot of it has to do with the nature of the canon. I am not saying this to criticize The Arcana, the devs, Dorian, or my fellow fans. I have just noticed that, as a piece of media, this game occupies a very unique space that is reflected in the way its fans interact with canon and with each other.

Welcome to the TED talk ain't none of y'all asked for.

Part of what makes this fandom unique is the evolution of fandom as a whole in the face of new types of media. As gaming becomes more mainstream and games themselves become more complex, the way we engage has necessarily changed in response.

Books/ movies/ shows are slightly more static in terms of canon than video games; canon is what it is and how you interact with what is there is largely to do with who you are. Everyone has the same base material to engage with, and that results in a certain amount of constancy. You can't interact with The Princess Bride in a way that changes the movie, only in ways that change your own perception. There isn't a whole lot of room for OCs without rewriting canon, so fans tend to consume OC-based fiction and art with the assumption that it's likely to be self-insert wish fulfillment fantasy time. That isn't always true, but there is a reason the term Mary Sue was coined.

Otome games and other choice-based video games make a very different fan environment, because the way you interact with canon is completely different. You have to build a character in order to interact with the story, and your choices directly impact your experience of canon.

But most western choice-based games are in the context of a larger RPG universe, e.g. Fallout or Dragon Age. There is a lot more to the story than the romance plot and so there's a lot more world to experience, contextualize, and build upon. There's certainly plenty of unhinged ShepxGarrus erotica, but there's also an abundance of fanworks that engage with the plot, the worldbuilding, and the canon characters with relatively little of the player's character needing to be on the page at all.

By contrast, most otome games that make it to English-speaking fandom spaces are Japanese. The romance is the point, but we also start from a place of wariness of our fellow fans. Because there's a huge difference between "harmless weeb" and "orientalist fetishizing creepo," and you know going in that both ends of the spectrum are possible, there is an amount of caution. We curate our space, looking for the creators who align with our expectations and values before we ever begin to interact.

The Arcana falls in a very unique and odd space because it is an otome, but made by Americans, with an attempt at a diverse fantasy cast. It's intended to be for American/ English-speaking audiences and is marketed as such. But making a romance game in America is challenging. Our way of approaching online media, especially smartphone-accessible media, is super fucked up, right? We are constantly trapped between the dichotomies of moral duty (Must Protect The Children) versus appealing to the customer base (Boom Anime Babes with Tig Ol Bitties). Because this is a mobile game, the developers can't make money if the game is removed from the app store, so they want it to be rated teen at the most. But the enticing bit, the thing that captures a potential fan's attention, is the flirtation and sexy implications. So from the jump they're in a weird space purely because they chose to make a mobile game instead of an indie video game released on Steam or similar.

So now you have an inherently split audience: mature adults who know they're getting into a potentially explicit romance game, and young adults/teens who have grown up in a more insulated internet culture where normal words are replaced with Orwellian doublespeak, like "unalive" and "spicy time".

THEN you add in the fact that the developers tried to build a diverse fantasy world, which is a fantastic idea both from an inclusionary standpoint and a broader audience standpoint. But because they didn't employ any actual sensitivity readers (did they think they didn't need them because fantasy can't have racism? Did they justify it as not being in the budget? Would love to know what's going on there) they fell right into a lot of the classic traps. We've been over these time and again, so I won't get into them here. Suffice to say, there has been Discourse. The presence of those issues means that more experienced fans will see those things and call them out, and that criticism causes even more of a split: the zealous apologists versus the critics. And critics can fall into two further categories: those who love the canon and want to see it do better, and the bitches who just love having something to bitch about.

Unfortunately, this combination means that there are inherently factions to this fandom, with staunchly opposed approaches to the media. So even before you enter a fandom space, it's already wildly fractured simply because of the nature of base canon.

THEN add to that the fact that this game is a dating sim. And to engage with a dating sim, you have to build a character and make choices based on that character. Some people will approach this work as storytelling, and some will approach it as an escapist expression of self. Neither of these ways of engaging with canon is wrong. Enjoying a dating sim as Me But Better is fun and completely valid! Engaging with a dating sim as a storyteller collaborating with the developers is fun and completely valid! But the two approaches are opposed in purpose, and that can make it difficult for the two types of fans to engage with one another's work.

Storytellers will well and truly invest in building a character. They may even build out communities, countries, cultures, and languages to make their world all the richer. They are investing hours of blood, sweat, and tears into Their Craft, pouring themselves into an opus of quality fanwork. Unfortunately, this can sometimes lead to big feelings. Fan artists and writers may feel underappreciated if all they get out of their hard work is 2 likes and a gif of a wolf making AWOOGA eyes. They may feel that critique of their work is unwarranted, or that there's no point creating if no one will engage.

The romantics will engage with canon and fanwork from the perspective that "this is my fantasy romance time". Their OC isn't so much Original Character as Optimized Characteristics--that is, their perfect self. They are here for wish fulfillment fun times in the relative privacy and anonymity of the internet, and good for them! But that may mean that criticism of canon or their fan work feels excessively personal--it is very hard to detach the ego from the OC when that OC is a projection of your best self. They may view any critique as a personal attack as opposed to a good-faith attempt at engagement or conversation. This can lead to defensiveness, or to leaving the fandom outright if it feels too hostile.

Unfortunately all of these factions cause rifts in the community. This sometimes turns into fandom vigilantism, where people begin to see any fan who doesn't wholeheartedly agree with them as an enemy. I've seen friends experience bullying and cruelty over their OCs and their art. I've seen predators use the isolated nature of the fandom to further isolate and prey upon already vulnerable individuals. I've seen some really shitty stuff.

But I have also seen beautiful community flourish. I've made friends who feel more like family than my actual relatives. I've seen people work through struggles and overcome deliberate attempts to tear us apart, finding forgiveness and friendship along the way. I've seen myself and others grow because of the community and inspiration we found here. And I saw all of that because I found my people. And I hope, Arcana fandom, that the rest of you can find your people too.

[cruciomee]

Why do you like the Greens so much. You seem very kind and it’s weird to me you like the clear villains/usurpers of the story (especially because they die out).

Honestly, I would normally be upset at this kind of question simply because I hate discourse. I am a people pleaser & in my heart I want everyone to be happy in the fandom. So normally, I would ignore this but not gonna lie. This question was kind of funny.

First & foremost, I was really neutral before I joined Twitter. I did not care about the silly who has more right to rule nonsense. I read fire and blood before the show came & the only thing I was looking forward to was “The Battle Above the Gods Eye” & Sunfyre coming back (because that dragon comes back!) Characters on both sides were equally interesting, but also equally boring for me. It was a specific part of the fandom on twitter to turn me so team green

On a sheer engagement level I have found that anything I draw with team black does not get very much interaction. You would think that ifRhaenyra is the most popular character in the show, if you draw something of her you will get some from of engagement but that is most definitely not the case. so sometimes I wonder if she actually has fans or is this fandom just full of people looking for a fight & use her as their excuse. Either way, I like drawing team black characters but what’s the point if no one wants to actually see it.

Now onto my personal opinions, I like my favorite characters to suffer. I hate cookie cutter happy go lucky stuff. The better a character is made to seem the more I don’t care about them. They become extremely boring to me. Im someone who likes a messy character. The more toxic the person the better. just because I like that kind of character doesn’t mean it has any effect on me as an actual person. fiction is not the same as reality! I don’t like discord in reality, but I love it in fiction! I hate toxicity in reality, but I love it in fiction! Aegon ii is a pathetic trashcan & I love to see him suffer. I can’t wait to see him burnt & broken! I also can’t wait to see him force himself off of Milk of the poppy & for his dragon to come back to him against all odds. I’m so ready to see his death, he needs to be alone & miserable. The fact I’m a kind person who honestly loves drawing kids & family interactions more than anything has nothing to do with what I want to see/read. I read some crazy toxic fanfic & the character I like the most is always the one getting emotionally destroyed in them. Everyone has their thing that they are into & I would never judge them so why should you judge me for liking a bunch of miserable losers who wear green in a show about dragons fighting for no good reason other than on who has more privilege to sit on a metal chair made of swords.

[everlasting-rainfall]

Hi💖, I have an idea for pages au What if the reader was born much earlier and the story was written at a time when Figarland Garling was still young and like Crocodile was not attached to any character, but he admired MC and decided that he was the only one who deserved her, so he kidnapped her and locked her in a room away from any kind of interaction. With anyone but him and can I get Stockholm Syndrome and maybe a little smut (there's no way I can resist falling in love with him🫠🫠)

Excuse me… Excuse me, dear… I think you dropped something… Here it is! 🥇, it’s your best request that I think I’ve ever received medal! Like this one is one of the best!

Thank you so very much for sending it in as I didn’t ever think that I would ever in a million years get a request for this crescent moon man and would simply have to write my own shit for him, ya know?

But I am so happy that you sent this in, I love this guy! Like I hate his actions but everything else is just 🥵… You get me?

Anyways before I start absolutely just losing myself, let’s get into it! Shall we?

Keep in mind though! MANGA SPOILERS!!

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AT ALL-!

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

Celestial Dragon Bullshit, Slavery, Delusions, Kidnapping, Stockholm Syndrome, Severe Isolation, Impregnation, Pregnancy, MANGA SPOILERS

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AT ALL-!

Okay so I’m not entirely sure how Garling would go about getting his hands on one of your books because you know… Technical Celestial Dragon Man with a book from a lowly peasant person? How scandalous!!

But at the end of the day, he seems like someone who doesn’t really give too much of a shit as he doesn’t wear those stupid ass spacesuits or have that dumbass hairstyle so he probably does pick up one of the books at some point

Maybe it’s one day while he’s bored with absolutely nothing to do that he decides to pick up the book, he flips through the pages and although it does help pass the time. It probably bores him even more to be honest

He thinks the love interests are both annoying and the story is okay at most but there is one thing that is keeping him reading and it’s the MC, he didn’t like the MC either at first but he started to like them after a chapter where he saw that they did something that he honestly considered impressive

He kept reading simply for the MC and he steadily began to like them more and more eventually deciding that neither love interest was good enough for the MC and honestly you know how like when you watch a show or play a game, you can’t help but imagine yourself or a character of yours in the story too?

I feel like that’s what he would do like he would start imagining himself in the story when he would read, he would imagine scenes between himself and the MC where they would spend time together until he was considered the only one good enough for them

Eventually though, all good scenarios have to come to an end and he reads the last book finding out that the MC got with the more annoying of the two love interests in the end but not only that, the MC was pregnant too?

This was absolutely unacceptable, they didn’t deserve the MC at all! No one did! No one was good enough for them except for him and a relationship with him was the only thing that he would accept…

Alas though, the MC was simply a fictional character and even he knew that so there was nothing he could do…

Everyone probably was scared shitless of Garling for a few days like bitchass Celestial Dragons were probably scrambling to get out of his way as he’s someone with the power to judge even the Celestial Dragons so him being angry is something that no one wants to be on the receiving end of

However soon enough, his anger comes to an end when he finds a picture while looking at the book covers and this picture just so happens to be of you but you’re dressed up as the MC of your book while giving a happy smile to the camera as the text underneath thanks the buyer of the book for reading the story

Garling could only stare at your face, he was frozen there just standing in front of his bookcase while staring. He couldn’t believe that he hadn’t seen it before, you were the MC and the MC did exist in real life because you were them!

He needed to have you… He would have you…

Imagine your shock when about a week later, you got a knock on your door from some men who looked incredibly prestigious and honestly very intimidating like to the point where you just wanted to shut the door and lock it tight

You could probably try but it wouldn’t work and these people would tell you that someone in the holy land is requesting your presence immediately and you should feel honored which was the very last thing that you were feeling

Maybe you tried to request to pack your bags only to attempt an escape out of like a window but you aren’t going anywhere, you’ll get captured and dragged off without any of your things so it’s best to just pack if you ask for that

The entire way there, you’re terrified as you’re likely going to wind up as the slave to some horrible and disgusting celestial dragon that makes you want to puke just by looking at him and these fears probably only get worse the closer you get to your destination

Once you’re finally there, you’re greeted by Figarland Garling who you assume that you’ll become the slave of but instead he tells you that you’re his spouse now and that you should devote yourself to him now that you’re with someone whose truly good enough for you

It’s confusing as all hell because he’s talking like he knows you when you have never met before today but despite that, he takes you back to what is now your home and lets you get settled into your shared bedroom before he tells you that you are never leaving the house ever again and that you are never to interact with a person who isn’t him

I’d say that you try to argue but do you really think that’s a good idea trying to argue with a man like this? I’d suggest simply listening and hoping that he’ll let you go after a while even though he probably won’t

Things aren’t the worst that they could possibly be when living with Garling as he is a bit distant and doesn’t allow anyone to interact with you but at least there’s a lot of things to keep you busy and he does allow you to continue writing

Even when Garling has company over, you aren’t allowed to meet them even if they’re another holy knight or a slave as Garling keeps you locked in a room so no one unworthy (aka anyone that isn’t him) can lay eyes on you

Really truly, Garling would only make an exception to who could see you if you had a medical emergency or required medical attention of any kind but even then they’re on thin ice and better not touch you more than he deems necessary

Seeing as you are still a writer as well, you are allowed to have your books published but there is to be no letters from fans coming in and you aren’t allowed to head out to do things like book signings or meet ups because that would require leaving the house and interacting with other people

You definitely grew to hate this arrangement and tried to plead with Garling to let you leave your home at least once in a while as you want to go outside and just breathe some fresh air away from the home for once

He would of course refuse anything that isn’t going out into the backyard for a bit though and even then, it feels suffocating because of how closely he monitors you during this time

The situation is becoming unbearable for you even when he tells you that this is all for your own good and that he does this because he loves you and wants you to be safe, you can only just cry as the feelings of being trapped weigh on you

This man can likely see the way that it weighs on you and that’s probably when he starts to become more affectionate with you like he starts bringing you things when he leaves for long periods of time and lovingly embraces you in longer kisses whenever he kisses you

He even starts to talk with you more than he used to and often reminds you of just how much he loves and adores you, no one else is good enough for you except him and now that you’re starting to become vulnerable. He’s sure that he can make you see it

As time passes with his new more affectionate behavior, you start to have thoughts. You start to think in the back of your head that this is truly good for you, this life with Garling is the best one that you could live like you still know that this life isn’t the best especially with all the horrible shit that comes with being in the holy land

But some part of you starts to love Garling back even though he’s a dangerous man who kidnapped you and forced you into being his spouse, you start to think that he really is just doing what’s best for you as what’s best for you is being kept only with him

He’s your loving husband and he would never let a single bad thing happen to you after all, how could you ever think about wanting to leave him when he loves you oh so very much? That’s what you think to yourself

Your life is here with Garling now as his loving spouse where you’ll never leave him and you’ll be sure to show him just how much you love him in exchange

When you truly and genuinely kiss him back for the first time with your arms wrapped around his neck, he knows that you’re his and that you’re never leaving him

You don’t even bat an eye when he starts to refer to you by the name of the MC now instead of by your name, your brain rationalizes it to you that your husband loves you so much that he perceives you and the MC of your story that he adores as the same person

Stockholm Syndrome and Delusions have started to set into place for you causing you to start to believe that you are the MC of the story and Garling is the only one who deserves you, the love interests are simply too annoying

And when Garling finally has you, he’ll pin you down on the bed underneath him and listen as you cry out his name in pure pleasure and leave scratches down his back while he thrusts into you

It’s the most beautiful sight that he could ever see, his love writhing underneath him from the pleasure that he’s providing them but not only that. They’re giving themselves completely to him and devoting themselves to him just like he has done for them

There’s simply one last thing that he needs to do to you and he knows exactly what it is as when he finally finishes, he makes sure to do it inside of you

And a few months later when you’re sitting a belly large and full with his baby, he comes up and kisses you deeply before moving you to sit on his lap while he sits on the chair

Not a day goes by where he ever regrets reading those books and when he looks at your face only to see just how absolutely in love with him you are…

He knows for a fact that you don’t regret making them…

[n0v4t33z]

The Syndicate - Chapter 8 : Complications & Whiskey

Pairings: Choi San X Female Reader, Park Seonghwa X Female Reader, Ateez X Female Reader

Genre: Lots of angst, Romance, Crime Fiction, Psychological Drama

Word Count: 15.9k

Tags/Warnings: For Mature Audiences, Mentions of Illegal activities (i.e Kidnapping, extortion, assassination etc.), flirting, kissing (yk that cheesy stuff couples do) Mentions of San's past lover being not so cool. (Not edited properly, I'll come back to it when I can)

Nets: @newworldnet

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

Spotify Playlist🎵 | Series Masterlist📝

Author's Note 💌: Hi! It's been a while since I updated this story, unfortunately I had really bad burnout and kind of struggled writing this chapter. Luckily one of my readers reached out to me which really motivated me to finish this chapter. The beginning is a little bumpy but it gets better! Like always I hope whoever reads this enjoys this chapter and if you didn't keep it to yourself! Again, thank you for remaining patient! (It's 2 am and I'm tired but I still wanna post this rn because I need to get it off my hands asap so I can work on the next chapter) - N🌙

•································•································•

How did this happen? How did he get my number? Did he bug the hospital room somehow? Maybe Chris’ phone? Fuck. There was a long silence of me trying to process what just happened then Captain Lee continues “I was just calling to let you know you’re more than welcome to come back to the police force.” My blood runs cold causing me to slightly stutter “So how’d you get my number?” He chuckles which gives me a horrible case of my whole body feeling cold “Ah, don’t worry about it Detective I have my methods.”

I nervously laugh and my grip becomes increasingly tight on my phone while I carefully look around making sure no one was watching. Making sure "he" wasn't watching. “Ah well, I’ll think about it Captain but I was just hoping you keep my anonymity since Aurora Syndicate is currently out looking for me.” I’m hoping he doesn’t suspect anything “Oh yes, Detective Bang told me earlier and don’t get me wrong I’ll grant it for you but I’ll let you know that I’m also aware that you know I worked with The Obsidian Dragon. So naturally, if you tell anyone I’m afraid I’ll have to get rid of you. So to keep tabs on you, you’re coming back to the police force whether you like it or not.”

I put my hand on my forehead and push my bangs back and hold back tears “What do you mean Captain? Why am I being forced into this? This is why I disappeared, to distance myself from this. I can't go back.” Captain Lee clicks his tongue a few times and says “Well, I’m sure you do know investigating these Mob bosses will get you killed so you should know that once you step into the world of corruption and ghost money your only way out is death whether you’re involved or you’re investigating it.”

He isn’t wrong, every single word he’s saying is right. I got myself into this mess and now I’m stuck. The only words that manage to leave my mouth are “Okay then, when do I go back?” I’m going to regret this. I could hear the smile in his voice “Anytime you want, preferably on Monday but don’t worry you’ll be doing desk jobs until you’re cleared. or until I feel you're good to go” I silently nod then I say in a very hushed tone “Alright, see you then Captain Lee.”

I hang up and clench my phone in my hand trying to blink back tears. I can’t cry here. I wipe away the stray tears before I buy the groceries. Once I've paid for them I put my phone on factory reset and throw it away into a trash bin outside the grocery store and head back to the tattoo shop. This is not good, I'm worried as to how he got a hold of my phone number. I didn't even give it to Chris. I'm terrified he probably knows more than what he leads on.

 When I arrive to the hideout I notice everyone was still asleep so I stand in the dark kitchen and silently cry for a few minutes. I know everything will change after this. They’re all going to stop trusting me, not that they trusted me much anyway but what worries me the most is San. I might as well enjoy the calm before the storm.

Once I start cooking I notice Seonghwa sleepily rubbing his eyes and says “Hey, good morning no wonder I smelled sauteed meat and garlic, you’re in the kitchen.” I smile and nod “Yes, you’re spot on. I decided to cook for you guys since your cook isn’t here. I’m afraid it won’t be as good though.” Seonghwa raises his hand and shakes his head “Nah, it can’t can’t be worse than Hongjoong’s cooking. At least what you're cooking smells edible so I’m sure it'll taste just as good as it smells.”

He washes his hands and walks over to me “Need a hand?” I shake my head “Oh no you don’t have to, I was hoping you guys wouldn’t wake up until I was finished” He pats my head “Hm, I’ll help you. I’m awake so I might as well make myself useful” I giggle “Alright, please peel the potatoes?” He nods “Yes, ma’am” after we prepped and cooked everything I exhaustedly sit on the couch then I space out.

I want to tell Seonghwa but I’m scared he’s going to get upset. How do I tell him? Seonghwa soon follows and sits next to me and looks over at me waiting for me to say something. Worriedly he says “y/n? Are you okay?” I look over at him “Hm? Oh nothing I just have alot on my mind as of recently. A Lot has happened.” He nods “I agree, that attack from the feds hit us hard but don’t worry. Everything will fix itself eventually.”

I sigh and reach over to nudge Seonghwa’s arm “Hwa, I need to tell you something. I know I need to tell San right away but I’m scared.” He furrows his eyebrows and looks at me with a huge concern “Did something happen?” I hide my hands under my thighs “Captain Lee called me out of nowhere when I was grocery shopping this morning and he told me I have to go back to the police station again to keep tabs on me or else he says he’s going to take me out. I honestly have no idea how he even got a hold of my phone number, I had no choice but to say yes. I fucked up. I’m so sorry.”

I bite my lip to keep myself from bursting into tears while he silently stares at the ground for a moment then he cautiously looks back at me “No, no. This isn’t your fault, but you do have to tell San. This isn’t good at all. ” I nod  “You’re right, this can’t wait can’t it? I was going to wait until everyone finished eating. Forgive me please don’t tell anyone else about this I’ll tell San myself.” I get up trying my best not to start crying in front of Seonghwa. Before I even have the chance to walk away he stops me tugging on my hand so that I turn to face him. He looks up at me from his seat "Remember, everything is going to be okay even if it seems like there's no way out of it." I force a smile and nod "Right, thank you for being such an amazing friend Hwa." Seonghwa slowly lets go of my hand and nods. "Always." I'm grateful to have a friend as caring as Seonghwa, someone who will comfort me and reassure me when i'm in doubt. I just hope one day i'll be able to return the favor.

When I open the door to San’s room and slowly close the door behind me. I carefully sit down on his bed and gently shake him “San, I have something to tell you.” He quietly hums and sleepily turns to face me trying to blink away his sleepiness  “y/n? What’s wrong? Are you okay? You’re awake?” I shake my head trying to hold back tears. I’m so scared. He sits up and grabs my hand and gently kisses my knuckles “What’s wrong?” My lip slightly quivers “I have to tell you something. It’s something kind of serious.” He sits up and gently rubs the back of my hand with his thumb “Well, whenever you’re ready angel eyes.” I tighten my grip on his hand and put my other hand over his and take a deep breath then silently exhale “Well, Captain Lee called me and said I have to go back to the police station again or he’s going to kill me and whoever else knows about him working for The Obsidian Dragon and that he was the true reason why The Phantom died.”

San stays silent for a few seconds then in a low tone he responds “Why?” I stare at his hand then I look over at his body language and I could feel how angry he is right now which is what scares me the most because I know how impulsive he is. As much as I don’t want to look at how angry he is I look up at him meeting his eyes “He wants to keep tabs on me.” He lets out a long sigh and gently kisses my forehead “I promise you’ll be safe.” I look into his hypnotizing dark brown eyes “So you’re not mad at me?” His demeanor quickly changes and gives me his cute dimpled smile “Hey, why would I be? This isn’t your fault at all.” Part of me felt like it was, I feel like a burden now that I know Captain Lee is unknowingly threatening San with me.

“I don’t know, I just feel like somehow it was my fault because I told Chris about Captain Lee being corrupt. Despite that I know deep in my heart that Chris would never say anything.” San’s smile disappears and raises his eyebrow “Are you sure? How do you know it wasn’t him?” I bite the inside of my lip second guessing my previous statement now because of his serious demeanor. “Well, because I know him and he always keeps his word no matter what. That includes secrets. He'd never put me in harm’s way, he’s always protected me so it can’t be him.” He lets out a quiet sigh “Babe he’s a cop what do you expect? He’s going to open his mouth if it benefits him. Especially now since you no longer work at the police station that lead is probably a huge opportunity for a promotion.” I shake my head “No, he’d never do that especially not if it ended up hurting someone.”

He looks at me with a straight face almost like what I was saying is a bunch of nonsense  “I’m sorry, I love you but I don’t trust that partner of yours.” I frustratedly put my hands on my forehead “Hear me out, when I told Chris I specifically told him to ask Captain Lee not to release the news of me being alive and to grant me anonymity. Which yes, Captain Lee acknowledged and said he’d agree too if I went back to the station but another thing I told Chris was that Aurora Syndicate was after me and that I needed my anonymity because of that. Captain Lee didn’t know that and he never once mentioned it until I said something about it so if Chris did tell him he would have known that and would have mentioned it first.”

San's eyes slightly narrow “But what if he didn’t mention it on purpose? He’s a cop so he’s great at being able to convince someone with words by conveniently leaving things out.” Okay, as a cop this is embarrassing how I’m forgetting my own methods now. I sigh and lay back onto the bed “Ok you know what?" I frustratedly run my fingers through my hair. "Fine who cares how he found out, the problem is that he found out and now I’m fucking scared to go back knowing I’m only there because he’s going to wait until I fuck up so he could kill me. Even then I still don't want to lose you either.” A big knot grows in my throat, feeling the tears begin to sting my eyes “This is why I'm telling you, because I need your help. I don’t know what to do, and I didn’t want to leave without a word and leave you wondering whether I’m okay or not.”

San lays next to me and wipes the tears away then gently pulls me close to him “You won’t be alone I promise, Seonghwa will be my eyes. I have a plan but that will be all up to you if you want to do this.” I nod “Of course, anything.” He smiles and kisses my forehead “Good girl, the plan is you will be my informant on what the police department is up to regarding Aurora Syndicate. Of course you’ll be under observation so evreytime you do have Information I’ll have Seonghwa send over the information via burner phone and dispose of it after each use to lower the chance of us getting caught.” San gives me the most gentle gaze and gently kisses the side of my head “This is going to end soon I promise, even if you’ll be someone else’s temporarily.”

I furrow my eyebrows and give him a confused stare “Uh what?” He smirks and lifts up my chin “You’ll have to pretend you and Seonghwa are in a relationship because he’s going to be living with you, even though it pains me. I have no choice at this point than to fool Lee for a little while longer while we gather up a plan.” What is this? Again with the fake boyfriend? I look up in disappointment while massaging my temples lightly “Really? How can you be so comfortable sharing me with another man like that? Can't we just be roommates or something?” He shrugs “The thing is if he's not related to you in anyway at all people will start looking into him a lot more, your supposed relationship to him might be a good distraction for them and much more convincing.”

He's really trying to sell me this, it's not a horrible idea but I don't know.. Kind of awkward after what happened between me and Seonghwa last night. “Besides when you went to your funeral with him and he brought you back home safely didn’t he?” I roll my eyes and jokingly retort “Yeah, what if I fall in love with him? Then what?” He smiles and takes my face in his hand “Hm, well then I’ll try to win you back no matter how many times it takes because like I said in the end you and I both know you’re mine. I know my place in your heart and you know mine, we are one. So, no. I’m not worried I'll lose you to him because I know it’s not going to happen. You’ll always be mine in one way or another.” Never have I seen a man so sure about how he feels towards me. How... Nice.

“You really feel that way?” I ask while I gently run my hand along his white t shirt clad chest. “I mean, do you? Because, I do.” he chuckles and raises an eyebrow giving me a dimpled smirk while I try to keep myself composed and nod “Of course I do.” he pulls me in a little closer and kisses me while he gently tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. “No one will hurt you.” I poke his small dimple “I know, I believe you. I’ve seen what you can do.” San smirks devilishly hovering his lips over mine “I can do that and much more, just for you.” I giggle and clear the few stray pieces of hair from his face. His cat like eyes making me dizzy, for a second I forget how lost in his gaze I am until he leans in and kisses my forehead "My angel."

In response I rest my forehead on his shoulder and sigh "I'm tired of all of this San. I want this to stop." He gently presses his lips on the top of my head whilst he holds me close "I know you do baby. I want it to stop too, I want to be happy with you. Soon, okay?" Feeling a tinge of guilt, I bite my lip trying my hardest not to cry despite the huge uncomfortable knot in my throat.

San rolls onto his back and pulls me onto his chest "Let's lay here for a bit." I look up at him "So that's it?" San raises his eyebrow and hums "What do you mean? Was I supposed to say something else?" I shrug "I don't know, you don't seem shaken up over Lee's threat towards me." San runs his fingers through my hair "Well, how do you know I'm not scared?" He's right, maybe he's trying to keep me from freaking out. "Well, for one we moved on from this conversation way too quickly." He quietly stares up at the ceiling for a few moments his fingers now gently massaging my scalp until he finally speaks again. "Hm, well I am scared. I'm also angry and bloodthirsty, but I can't show you that part of myself. I don't want to scare you, I don't want to fuel your brain with ideas of me that might make you not trust me at all."

Okay so I guess I was right, he knows he still scares me to some degree despite loving him so much. I hate how conflicting this is. "I see, so you're trying to spare me from freaking out then?" He smiles gently booping my nose "You got it." I rest my head on his chest and sigh.I hate how my "fake" death ended up becoming pointless, and unfortunately it's probably something Captain Lee will end up blackmailing me with. I thought I was going to catch him by surprise but no, now I'm hoping I can find a way for Captain Lee to get blindsided while still under his observation.

I look up and notice San staring up at the ceiling again then I bury my face in the crook of his neck holding onto him tightly. He turns to me and gently plants a kiss on my temple then rests his head onto mine. “I really am going to miss you.” I lace his fingers between mine “I am too honestly. I wish we could stay like this forever.” Letting him go now seems like a crime, why is it that he terrifies me but yet makes me so happy? “I got so used to having you at my side for so long that I forgot what it felt like to not feel so- I don’t know, alone?” I giggle “That’s a nice way of putting it because I feel the same way.” He pushes a strand of hair behind my ear and shows me his dimpled smile “Yeah?” My ears get hot and I bury my face in his chest causing him to quietly laugh “I swear you’re so cute when you get shy. I’ll miss that too.” I peek and look up at him “Hey, don’t be sad. I did a surprise for you and the guys this morning but I think maybe the food has gotten cold by now.” HIs eyes light up “Wait, wow. I get to try your food?” I nod and awkwardly smile “Yeah but if you don’t like it it’s okay. I honestly hate my cooking but my family strangely seemed to love it so I just wanted to cook for you guys because I trust my family’s opinion on it despite personally not really being a fan of what I make.”

San gives me a dimpled smile “I’m sure it’s delicious angel eyes, I know I’m going to love it so don’t worry. Also, I think we should go eat. I’m sure after everything this morning you’re probably really hungry.” He smirks and winks at me causing me to cover my eyes. Why is he always making my heart feel like it's going to jump out of my throat? “Stop it. Stop doing that thing with your face again!” He removes my hand from my face and chuckles "Wait, what's wrong with my face?" I shyly look in the other direction avoiding eye contact while my voice slowly trails "Um, nothing. You just.." San turns my face back in his direction "You what?" Stunned, I simply blink back in response until he chuckles and pulls me into a chaste kiss. Once he pulls away he gently runs his thumb along my bottom lip and for a few moments I recalibrate my brain until I finally respond "You're handsome...That's what I wanted to say." San hums and pulls my hand up to his lips gently pressing it onto his lips. "So sweet aren't we baby?"

When we walk to the kitchen we notice most of the guys were in the living room except Hongjoong, Jongho and Wooyoung who were in their respective rooms. I look over at San awkwardly knowing full well that some of them aren't too keen on me. I clear my throat trying to lightly bring their attention “So uh, is anyone hungry?” Yunho looks up from the game he’s playing “Hm? There’s food?” I nod “Yeah, I woke up early this morning to make it mostly because I couldn’t go back to sleep. Do you mind getting the others? I’ll bring Wooyoung’s breakfast later when he’s woken up.”

Yunho nods and walks over to go fetch the 2 others while everyone else takes their seat at the table meanwhile Seonghwa and I set the table while evreyone talks amongst themselves waiting for the others to come. Eventually Jongho, Hongjoong and Yunho sit down at the table with the only person missing being Wooyoung. Seeing everyone here except Wooyoung felt odd considering he was always very much present in the conversations but now that he wasn’t here the table was more at peace or so we thought. Seonghwa looks over at me and San “So uh, why are we here all together?”

San laces his fingers together “Well, something happened this morning.” Hongjoong narrows his eyes "The feds know where we are?" Jongho glances at San "Did they?" San shakes his head then pushes his glasses up "No. Captain Lee contacted y/n about going back to the police station. Of course he knows she’s alive now but blatantly threatened her to come back to the police force because he knows that she knows about his involvement with The Black Obsidian. He says he wants her working there to keep tabs on her which comes to my next statement. We’re starting a very important assignment regarding this issue. Of course the person who’s going to actually be joining y/n will be Seonghwa.”

Everyone is silent then Mingi slowly raises his hand “So it’s just him? What are we supposed to do then?” San nods “yeah, the reason why he’s going is because he’s the only one that that has no file under his name in the NIS data base” Hongjoong looks at San “Neither does Yeosang though.” San looks over at Hongjoong and smirks “That’s the thing, I’m sure Yeosang is not going to want to pretend he’s y/n’s lover. I also know y/n is definitely not comfortable with him either.” Yunho looks over at Seonghwa whose ears were a bright pink hue then back at San “Wait so are you saying Seonghwa is going to go with y/n and pretend he’s her boyfriend? Why though? Is it to keep an eye on her?” San nods then Seonghwa uncomfortably shifts in his seat “Yep, Seonghwa is also going to be the one communicating to us what’s going on at the station since I’m sure y/n won’t even have the chance to since she’ll be under a microscope with Lee.” 

Yeosang frowns “So what does that have to do with us? Isn’t it just going to be a mission just for them?” San takes a sip of his warm tea and continues “No, it’ll involve you guys as well but that means you’ll have to lay low. Some will be tailing Lee and other officials working for him that includes y/n’s partner Detective Chris Bang, some of you will also be keeping watch the security cameras at the police station and the cameras near and around where y/n will reside in case anyone is sent by Captain Lee.” Everyone stays silent for a while then Jongho says “Wooyung isn’t part of any of this right? He’s still recovering from that punctured lung.” San bites the inside of his cheek “Yeah, he’s not. I just want him to get better and that means he can’t strain himself so please no one speak to him about this. Obviously I don’t know how long this will take but until he gets better please don’t say anything you all know how he is.” Hongjoong cocks an eyebrow “What about when he asks about y/n? You know how he is with his questions.” Yeosang then says “Just tell him she voluntarily left on her own because Lee found out she was alive.”

San leans back onto his chair “There’s your answer, with Seonghwa just say he went on an assignment abroad. Everyone understand? ” Everyone agrees and say in an untimed unison “Yes boss.” Meanwhile Seonghwa silently stares at the table then he looks at San “So you trust me enough let me pass off as y/n’s lover?” I look over at Seonghwa and can tell he’s probably not comfortable going through with this. San gives him a smile clearly showing him how much he trusts him “Of course, you’ve taken such great care of her when I wasn’t able to. Besides this is all fake anyway.” He understandably nods and says “Alright, I’ll do my best to make you proud again.” Seonghwa catches me staring at him and gives me a sweet smile “I promise I won’t let anything to happen to you.” I nod and try to act as nonchalant as I can “Thank you, I appreciate it.” Meanwhile San pats my head and says “Alright everyone can resume eating now, I heard y/n cooked this for us so let’s not leave anything on our plates.”

Everyone begins to eat and after a few moments I notice a few of the guys nodding in approval. Yeosang then looks over at me and says “Thank you for the food y/n.” Shocked he even complimented me I vigorously nod “Thank you so much but it wasn’t just me, Seonghwa helped me as well. I’m sure if he didn’t help the food wouldn’t have been as good as it was.” Could it be that a way to get to a cold man's heart is food? It's starting to ring true now. Seonghwa chuckles “I only peeled the potatoes and made the rice, it was all you y/n.” With his cheeks stuffed with food mid chew Mingi says “You’d honestly make a great wife, your cooking is immaculate and reminds me of my mother’s” San gives Mingi a stare and I nervously laugh “I’m sure your mother’s cooking is way more delicious Mingi” Jongho gives me a comforting smile “Honestly your cooking is amazing, even if you don’t feel that way. I’m saying that because these guys are so picky that the in house chef we had back at HQ quit after about a month of being there.”

I cover my mouth trying to cover up the big smile on my face then I say “Well, I guess I’m lucky to have such picky eaters like my food.” San puts his hand on my thigh and gently squeezes “See? Don’t forget to give yourself some credit sometimes.” I give him a small smile and nod then I look in the direction of the rest of the table “I know this is random but I just wanted to let you guys know I won’t be outing any information regarding the Syndicate if that’s what some of you are worried about, I’ll take that to the grave.” Jongho sets down his coffee mug onto the table “Don’t worry, I trust you. I’m sure the others do as well to an extent they just don’t want to admit it but I believe you y/n.” Yunho and Seonghwa both nod then Yunho responds while looking directly at Yeosang and Hongjoong “Even then for the ones who still don’t trust you they’ll see you’re not a bad person and you’re worth trusting.” Hongjoong tilts his head “You must be talking about Yeosang and not me. If I didn’t trust y/n I wouldn’t have let her touch a computer and much less suggest to San to let her have her own.”

My lips slightly part looking at the table then I look back and notice Hongjoong’s usual annoyed look replaced with one of a small smile “But also how could I not trust someone who likes Spongebob?” I giggle then I turn to Yunho “He’s right, he’s actually been very nice to me so no worries about that.” He continues looking in Yeosang’s direction “I’m glad to hear, although I was mostly referring to Yeosang here considering how many rude and tasteless things he’s said to you and that doesn’t even include the things he’s said while Wooyoung instigated.” I shake my head “Ah, no that’s okay don’t worry. I respect his reasons.”

He silently nods for a few seconds as if he was unconsciously doing it to calm himself down “You’ll see she’s not a horrible person, and when Wooyoung comes back he’s going to see for himself too.” Yeosang sits there staring at Yunho for a few seconds then stands up silently and walks to his room leaving everyone in shock. Why do I always cause these things, if someone isn’t getting upset over something I did someone else is getting upset over something someone did to me. I wish this wasn’t the case, it only comes off that I’m the one causing problems.

San glances at Yeosang’s empty seat then back at me “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine he just can’t stand being wrong.” I silently nod then San smiles and says “Everyone is dismissed for now, we’ll talk about everything in detail later…” A few moments later San’s cellphone rings and hurriedly gets up and says “I’ll be back, I’ve got to take this call..” Eventually evreyone finishes eating but San never comes back so once everyone leaves, I stay behind to clean the dishes while Seonghwa clears the table. He silently walks over to me holding a few plates gently setting them down onto the sink and walks back to the table to retrieve more. He’s awfully quiet.

Should I say something? I stare down at the bubbly water in the sink until I finally speak “Why’d you stay? I would have cleaned up, it’s fine.” Without turning in his direction I could hear the slight clinking of the glasses as he steps in my direction again. “I wanted to, besides it didn’t sit right for me not to clean up after myself.” I dryly laugh “You mean after your friends?”  I turn to Seonghwa who walks up next to me and sets down the glasses next to the sink and gives me a smirk “Exactly, you need my help. Scoot over.” I roll my eyes and scoot over, giving Seonghwa room to stand next to me and begin to dry off the plates I've already washed. For a while he and I clean together in silence until unexpectedly I hear “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting the call to be this long but something came up.” Both Seonghwa and I turn to San and he continues “I know this is very short notice but do you mind coming to something with me tomorrow night angel eyes?” I glance at Seonghwa who looked just as confused as I then back at San who was standing at the entrance of the kitchen waiting for a response “Aren’t we supposed to lay low?”

I ask slightly unsure, San gives me a reassuring smile “We’ll be okay. I just wanted you to meet my mother and sister, you know since Seonghwa here knows them I think it’s a good idea you meet them as well. I’m almost positive you three will get along.” I can’t meet his family, what if they don’t like me and they send for me to get killed? Especially if they find out I’m a former cop. Seonghwa glances at me slightly concerned “What if she just stays home and rests? She’s been through alot these past days.” San lets out a sigh and pats Seonghwa's back turning his attention back to himself. “Jongho, you, and the rest are coming so we’ll be fine. Besides, if she doesn’t want to go she's more than welcome to stay home.” Well, I guess I have a social affair to attend to now. At least now I'll get to do a little familiarization with San's family.

"I'll go..I don't mind sounds fun. I'm kind of tired of being couped up." San gives me a small smile "There you go, you heard the lady. She's going." Seonghwa quietly washes a glass under the warm running water while I dry off my hands on the hand towel next to the sink “What exactly is this thing we’re going to?” San walks over to me holding back a big smile “It’s my sister’s birthday” He gently rests his hand on my uninjured shoulder “I wanted you to join us. I know you’re supposed to be resting right now but Jongho will be there, so I promise you’ll be okay. Besides I figured you'd like to know who works for us and how deep our business runs. ” I slowly nod “Okay sure, but what am I supposed to wear? I didn't bring anything with me, much less anything that covers up what happened on my shoulder..”

San shakes his head “Don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of everything.” He glances over at Seonghwa and says “Make sure my mother doesn’t find out about the specifics with the police, I don’t want her to worry. There’s also a small job I need you to do for me. Mingi will be joining you.” Seonghwa nods obediently “Noted, but what happens if she asks why Wooyoung isn’t there? She knows he’d never miss anything like this..” San stares off into the distance for a moment “He had a family emergency and he wasn’t available.” San seemed to have become a bit haste to which Seonghwa seemed to pick up on and responds “Oh, okay that seems plausible.” San motions him in the direction of the living room “Mingi’s waiting.” Seonghwa sets down the dishes, wipes his hands dry on the hand towel next to the sink and excuses himself.

I notice there’s this weird tension between them but I can’t put my finger on why they feel that way towards each other or if it’s mutual. “You remember Nari? She’s coming over to get you ready for tomorrow.” Oh, it’s the same woman that did my hair and got me dolled up for my funeral. I guess it makes sense, she’ll probably know what the family approves of. “Sounds nice, she was nice..” I look down at the ground not wanting to meet his eyes. San gently turns my face in his direction with his eyebrows softly furrowed “What’s wrong angel eyes? Are you okay?” I sigh and lean into his touch “I’m scared. What if they hate me?” San gently caresses my cheek with his thumb “Babe, I promise they won’t hate you. I’ll just tell them you’re not involved in the business so they won’t ask you any questions over who you're affiliated with and who you work for.” Wait, does that mean he’s going to tell his mom about us? “Wait, why would you tell your mom that? Are you going to tell her about us?”

He nods and takes both my hands gently bringing them up to his lips “Of course, but I’m still going to tell her not to speak on it to anyone and to pretend you and I are simply colleagues in the eyes of others but she’ll know.” San lies alot, which worries me. If he easily lies over the smallest things like this does that mean he’ll easily lie to me? “You’re lying again.” He dryly laughs and pulls me closer to him “My mother won’t speak I promise, if she was able to keep my dad’s deepest darkest secrets I’m sure she can keep our relationship a secret. I felt like it’s something we should do before you’re gone, I want at least someone to know about us..” if only he knew that someone does know, just not who he thinks it is. He leans in and gives me a quick peck making sure no one was around then gently pushes a strand of my hair behind my ear “You trust me right?” Stupidly enough, like always my brain decides to completely betray me and respond without thinking “I do.” He gently kisses my forehead and softly says in a low voice “My beautiful angel.” Everytime he calls me that it makes me melt, and I think he knows that.

“I’m going to give you a more dramatic look today, obviously still within the likes of Mrs. Choi” Nari gently works in some sort of eye primer on my eyes using a soft brush and begins to work on my eye makeup. After a few minutes of her working her magic I have a sudden urge to ask her a question “Nari, I have a question..” She softly hums and I clasp my hands together  “Do you know Mrs. Choi and San’s sister?” I concentrate on the gentle brush strokes to calm me down for some reason slightly afraid of her answers “I do, they’re very sweet. I work with them quite often actually. I just saw them this morning.” I quietly hum then Nari continues “How come? Are you worried about something?” I let out a soft sigh “Well, I’m scared they might not like me. I heard what the mother did to one of San’s exes and ordered for her assassination.”

The older woman clicks her tongue “Well, do you know what happened?” What happened? What does she mean? Does she mean that woman did something to upset San’s mother? “Uh, I mean no. Not really that’s honestly all I could dig up, besides San’s never mentioned any of his exes so I genuinely don’t know the full situation” Nari pops her gum followed by the smile in her voice “I can tell you, I’ve been working for the Choi family for years…” I softly gasp and open my eyes “Wait, for how long?” Nari gives me a soft smile “ I was hired personally by Mrs. Choi ten years ago, ever since then I’ve been doing her and her daughter’s makeup for public events..”

Nari gently has me close my eyes again and continues “Anyway, as you know her name was Hae Jihye she and San dated for a few years. I believe it was about 5 or so years but they eventually became engaged, both were pretty young but since the Choi family was so well off Mrs. Choi encouraged them to get married. She was very fond of Jihye up until San found out she was secretly seeing another man and stealing money from him and ordering shady dealings without double checking these were allies and not possible undercover cops. Up until her death she always said it was because San never gave her attention and because she felt lonely but everyone close to the Choi’s know he treated her like his princess. He would have brought her the moon if she so wanted, he gave her everything. Open.”

I open my eyes and see Nari begins to fill in my eyebrows and continues “Anyway, it so just happened the real reason was that she thought San was a huge pushover and was only planning on marrying him for his money and the Choi’s heavy influence. She wanted to be someone important since she came from a poor background.” Poor San, he gave his heart to this woman and she stomped all over it… “So when Mrs. Choi caught wind of it thanks to San’s best friend Wooyoung she began to conspire against Jihye. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned..” Nari smooths out some sort of face primer on my skin, her hands being gentle against my skin then quickly begins to work on my base “She got Kang Yeosang, one of San’s associates to carry out the assasination and right as she was exiting the beauty salon she was shot and killed. Just to add insult to injury Mrs. Choi sent the hand of Jihye’s secret lover to her grieving family along with a note that read “Hope you enjoy this small gift!” and that was that. ”

I look at Nari giving her a very unnerved expression “Wow that's…heavy.” Nari nods while gently powdering my face “So lesson of the story is don't be an opportunist and Mrs. Choi will be kind.”  I know Nari and San said Mrs. Choi is nice but I can't keep myself from thinking she's going to find something she doesn't like. What a great time to overthink. “Actually, San doesn't want to tell her about me being a cop..” Nari begins to gently apply my lipstick with small gentle strokes “Sweetheart I think you should just be honest, I mean you've been all over the news recently. I'm sure Mrs. Choi knows exactly who you are.” Oh my gosh how could I forget about that?! She's right, it's going to be a horrible look if I lie to her right from the start.

“I should let San know, you know like about me not wanting to lie to his mom not what happened with Jihye. I'll definitely never mention her ever.” Nari then raises her eyebrows “So, are you going to tell his mom you two are thing?” Her question catching me off guard I almost choke on my own saliva causing me to swallow quite hard. For a moment, I struggle how to answer until I finally but hesitantly respond “Well honestly, I think it’s a bad idea that I tell her we’re together especially if she knows I'm a cop. Despite how nice she is, she has too much history between my previous boss and her family, not the good kind either. Knowing she’s willing to kill I think I’m going to steer clear from her radar as cowardly as it seems.” Nari rests her hand on her hip “So, what do you plan to do?” I sigh “Well, continue to keep it a secret.”

Nari furrows her eyebrows and crosses her arms in front of her chest “But for how much longer? You know, Mrs. Choi isn’t getting any younger and eventually she’s going to ask San to marry again. You do understand right?” She’s right, Mrs. Choi is definitely going to ask San to marry only it makes sense for him to marry of someone of his status and the same lifestyle as his. As much as I love and I’m in love with him, we’re too different to be in each other's life in the long run and only confirms what I've been thinking this whole time which is to just enjoy it while it lasts. “I do, which is why I'm going to backtrack telling her about our relationship but not who I am. That I can't lie about, as scary as It is.” gives me a soft smile “Well, it's settled.. Also, we should get started on your hair. Your dress should be arriving sometime soon!” I nod and let out a nervous sigh. I have to brace myself for everything. I will try my best to look like a good person.

Later after Nari is done with my hair, makeup and dressing me I look in the mirror and honestly just like the first time I'm not disappointed in what I’m seeing just a little weirded out that I can look this good. My hair was loosely curled, like those gorgeous movie stars on tv, the makeup was light (For my taste at least) so that it complimented my features. Meanwhile the dress that was picked out for me was a satin strapless asymmetric neckline dress with a high slit on the right side of the dress luckily it was a long dress so it covered my legs really nicely and it wasn’t as showy as I thought it’d be considering how high the slit is. Finally to cover up my wound Nari carefully drapes a gorgeous white fur wrap over my shoulders. Nari steps behind me and hands me a black pair of designer high heels. It’s those shoes that movie stars wear, the ones with the red soles. I let out a gasp and carefully take the shoes as if they were made of glass “Nari, are you sure?” Nari smirks “Of course I’m sure, you’re wearing vintage Mugler.. You can’t just wear any old pair of shoes.” I give her a nervous smile and carefully put on my black high heeled shoes. Nari then steps back and gives me a proud smile “You look amazing y/n, I hope you feel as pretty as you look. “ I smooth out the soft fabric beneath my fingers and nod “I do, thank you for everything..” The older woman smiles and shakes her head “Thank San, he asked me to do this for you.”

Of course he did, this man is all about the details. Now it was about that time I look for San so that I could talk to him about what to say to his mother. Right after exiting my room I'm soon greeted by a dressed up Jongho who’s jaw immediately drops “Wow, you look amazing y/n. I uh- San is waiting up front, he asked me to guide you into the car.” I give Jongho a smile and tease him “You might want to pick your jaw up from the floor or a fly will go in there.” Jongho chuckles and leads the way while I silently walk behind him. Awkwardly enough I had to walk into that tattoo shop dressed like this but unlike before all eyes were on me which made me alot more nervous so I gently hold onto Jongho’s arm so that I wouldn’t risk embarrassing myself in case I trip over my dress. Once outside I realize it was beginning to get dark out that’s when Jongho opens the door to the expensive looking car and lo and behold San was there.

His hair was now cut shorter than before with a small strand of hair framing his face, whilst he wore a white dress shirt with a few buttons undone and a buttoned up black vest, a back blazer, with matching slacks and shoes. He looked so immaculate and perfect, that In the moment I think I almost forgot why I was even there to begin with until San gently grabs my hand and gently tugs on it. I blink a few times and it’s like I rebooted remembering where and why I was there. San gives me a small dimpled smile and I get into the car sitting next to him. His cologne slowly bringing me back to reality “You look gorgeous angel eyes.” I glance over at him, his eyes looking at me like he was devouring me with his gaze which was making me painfully shy, that is until I remember I needed to tell him something. San gently reaches for my exposed thigh and gently squeezes causing my ears to begin to burn and I mindlessly respond “And you look handsome Sannie..”

San leans in and gently kisses me whilst his hand squeezes my thigh a little harder leaving me to let out a soft sigh whilst he deepens the kiss. I only allow myself to indulge in the kiss for a few more seconds until I gently pull away while gently pushing him away. He gives me a confused look then furrows his brows “Angel eyes are you okay?” I nod and gently smooth out my dress “Yes, I just wanted to talk to you about something before we arrive at your sister’s party.” He gently takes my hand and nods “Sure, what is it?” I glance over at San whose eyes were soft again, a complete one eighty from a few seconds ago “We should just tell your mom that I’m a cop, you know it’ll be much easier than lying” San looks at me slightly worried and looks down gently rubbing his thumb on the back of my hand “Um, I don’t know about that..” I tilt my head “How come? Is it because I’m going back to the station next week? You know she’s probably seen the news..”

San lets out a sigh and stares down at my hand for a few moments before he briefly glances back up at me me then says in a lower almost worried tone “That’s why, because I’m sure she’ll like you but once she realizes you’re a cop she’s going to bombard you with questions..Assumptions.” I reach over and take San’s handsome face in my hands gently caressing his soft skin “And that’s okay, it’s valid on her part considering the previous history between cops and your family. I understand.” He gently takes my hand in his lovingly squeezing it “Are you positive you’re going to be okay with the questions?” I nod giving him a reassuring smile “Of course Sannie, let’s just be honest for once. This is something so important to me that I want to be honest out of respect to your mother and our relationship, please. Just this once I don’t want to lie about something I can’t hide. I don’t want to pretend to be someone I’m not even if your mother ends up hating me for it, it’s the risk i’m willing to take.”

San gives me a dimpled smile, takes my hands from his face and gently kisses them “You really do have a heart of gold angel eyes.. No matter how hard things get your intentions are always well intentioned.” I look down and press my lips into a curt smile “One more thing.” San gently turns my face to face him "What’s that?” Not wanting to meet his eyes I look down at the collar of his shirt “I thought about it and I don’t want your mother to find out about us.” San gives me a confused look “Wait- but..” I nod “I know, I just said that I didn’t want us to lie but I was talking about things I can’t hide.. Besides we’re technically not lying if you just don’t mention it.” slightly upset San takes my arm and tightly squeezes it but only enough to get my attention “But you agreed with me yesterday, why the sudden change of mind?” I shrug “I don’t know I just did a lot of thinking and it doesn’t make sense to come clean right now, it’s too soon.”

San lifts up my chin to meet his eyes while holding on to my arm, they were sad with a hint of anger. He looked genuinely hurt, but now it’s complicated. I need to see how his mom will react to the news of me being a cop, then I’ll know my answer. I need to tread lightly with this family because I truly don’t know their intentions. For all I know this is all a part of San’s plan to get me to trust him then get me killed once I do. Even then I doubt San will hold on much longer, Nari is right his mom is probably looking for someone he could marry right this moment which is why he wants to tell his mother. “As much as I strongly feel the complete opposite, I'll respect your wishes. I understand you’re nervous.” I sigh “I’m sorry but can you blame me? Any regular person would be terrified considering how powerful your family is. I don’t want to fuck up.”

San loosens his grip on my arm “I’m sorry I’m forcing you to do all these things so fast. It’s just-” He shuts his eyes and rests his head on my shoulder and lets out a long sigh “It’s my mom, she’s been looking into having me marry the Iceman’s daughter, Jisu.” I furrow my eyebrows “Why?..” He stares down at himself gently squeezing and holding onto my forearm “Business.. And because she’s close friends with Iceman’s wife.” Wow, yeah. I think involving myself even more will be a death sentence. What if she has me killed because she wants San to marry into her friend’s family? “Ah, I see.” I stiffly nod. I knew it, his mom already has eyes for someone. San raises his gaze and looks at me with concern painting his features “You’re upset aren’t you?” I shake my head and fake a laugh “No, I mean I saw it coming. I understand.”

San gives me a very unamused look  then the driver driving our vehicle clears his throat and says  “Sorry for the interruption boss, but we’re here.” San nods slightly detached still fixated on my expression “Yeah, okay. Thanks Woosik.” I feel horrible pissing him off but I think this is it. I’m so cowardly. Almost as if a switch went off he gently takes my hand and kisses the back of it “I’ll introduce you as a colleague okay? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable let alone feel like i’m forcing you to do things you don’t want to..” I nod and lean in to gently kiss his cheek then I give him a soft smile “Thank you..”

San’s expression brightens up a bit and gives me a small dimpled smile “Are you ready angel?” I nod and he gives me a sweet smile. Next to me the door opens and a very well dressed man helps me out of the car and soon after San steps out right behind me. He then gently rests his hand on the small of my waist and gently guides me to the big mansion, that house.. It’s huge. The Choi family is loaded. It’s everything you would have imagined in a mansion: the fountain, the gates, the two sculptures near the entrance, the beautiful decorative trees adorning the front of the house.

The times I’ve been to houses like this is usually when we’re going to arrest someone or when we’re investigating the murder of a high profile person which isn’t very often so to see this gorgeous house and being dressed in designer from head to toe, it makes me feel like I'm in some sort of movie. Once we’re inside the faint sound of classical music fills the air along with the high class ambience immediately making me straighten up my posture. All the people here look expensive, it also kind of freaks me out knowing that 90 percent of the people here are more than likely white collar criminals. I look over in San’s direction slightly worried only for him to give me a small reassuring smile. ”Follow me.” I grab onto the sleeve of his blazer following behind him quietly whilst he makes his way to presumably his mother. 

We approach a gorgeous older woman who obviously didn’t look her age but could tell her age based off of what she was wearing, which was a long semi fitted dark blue dress with a high neck “Mother, I’m here.” The woman turns her attention away from the woman she was speaking to and gasps “Sannie, you made it..” San pulls the shorter woman in his arms and hugs her tightly “You know I’d never miss my sister’s birthday.” She pulls back gently cupping her hands on his face with a smile. “My son, my strong handsome son.” Both him and his mother chuckle then she pulls away and looks around us “Where’s Wooyoungie sweetie? Last time I talked to him he said he’d come..”

San takes Mrs. Choi’s hand “Ah, yeah about that. Wooyoung couldn’t make it tonight he had a personal emergency.” Mrs. Choi worriedly furrows her brows “Oh my- Is he okay?” San nods giving his mother a reassuring pat “He is he’s fine, he’s just dealing with a few private matters that couldn’t be postponed and were very last minute.” Wow, he’s good at lying to his own mother too that’s actually scary. He’s not even hesitating. The mother understandably nods “Well I hope whatever it is I hope he sorts it out soon..” Mrs. Choi then turns  in my direction, for a few seconds she examines my face then she says “Oh hello, wow who is this gorgeous girl Sannie?”

I reach out and shake his mother’s hand politely smiling “Hello Mrs. Choi I am Detective y/n y/ln, I’m one of Mr. Choi’s current colleagues. His connection to the Ulwood PD. ” His mother’s eyes widen slightly then quickly composes herself before San says “She’s been a great help helping me track Lee and his other people..” For a few moments San’s mother stares at me “Are you really working for the Aurora Syndicate? Are you sure you don’t secretly work for the police to turn my son in?” San chuckles gently patting his mother’s back “She’s fine mother, I made sure of it. Besides she has her own grudges against Lee, I promise you she won’t betray us.” Mrs. Choi nods “You’re that detective that was found dead aren’t you?” I nod and lightheartedly chuckle “Yeah, that’s me. So you have no worries about me turning on anyone.” Mrs. Choi looks over at San and smiles “Look at you, giving that old bastard a taste of his own medicine. You’re definitely your father’s son.” San nervously laughs “Mom..” 

A gorgeous long dark brown haired woman approaches us, her eyes were sultry and had a very mysterious and intimidating energy surrounding her. Her gaze looking straight at San, almost like he was some sort of target to her. “Hello, how are you on this lovely evening?” Mrs. Choi turns in said woman’s direction and smiles “Jisu sweetheart, hello how are you? I’m glad you could make it!” Jisu smiles and reaches for Mrs. Choi’s hand and gently pats it “Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world. I’m glad I could be here for Haneul’s big day.” Mrs. Choi smiles “Thank you” Jisu looks back at San and smiles in his direction “Is this the infamous Choi San?” Mrs. Choi chuckles and gently pats San’s shoulder then San responds slightly hesitant “Yeah, you must be Jisu. My mother’s mentioned you before.” Jisu reaches over to shake San’s hand and for a moment her hand shake lingers.

A bit shocked she’s holding onto his hand and not letting go until he pulls away his hand and puts it in his pocket. Mrs. Choi looks at both San and Jisu “I did, did I also mention you’re both the same age? I’m sure you two would get along very well.” Jisu looks in San’s direction tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear “Of course we will, San seems like a person I’d get along with perfectly. He’s so hardworking and it shows.” Jisu smirks then shifts her gaze over to me where her smirk slowly disappears then she softly laughs “Oh my- I’m sorry hello, who are you?” I give Jisu curt smile and extend my hand “Detective y/n y/l, I’m currently working for Mr. Choi.” She raises her eyebrow “My, my I didn’t know San was willing to be risky, you feds are hard to trust. Nine times out of ten you have ulterior motives.” I chuckle feeling the venomous intent behind her words. “Well then I guess I’m the 1 out of 10 who has no ulterior motives. Mr. Choi knows he’s in good hands trusting me. Am I right Mr. Choi?”

I turn to him giving him a small smile. San immediately picks up on what I was trying to do and responds “Of course, she’s shown me her loyalty multiple times. At the end of the day we both have the same goal so why not team up with someone like minded.” Jisu hums then shrugs “Well, as long as you’re confident that’s all that matters.” Mrs. Choi gently takes my arm and says “San, I need to have a word with Detective y/ln. Do you mind keeping Jisu company?” San looks at me sympathetically then back at his mother “Ah, yes mother.” Jisu looks in my direction, smirking almost like she knew this was something I couldn’t get myself out of. Almost like she expected the worst. I’m worried. Did I say something wrong? 

Mrs. Choi quietly walks me out of the room the party was being held in and once outside in the hallway she lets go of my arm. Expecting her to maybe say something she continues walking in silence unnerving me even more as the seconds go by. I walk behind her until we enter the big marbled floor living room, she motions me to sit down on the expensive looking velvet couch which I oblige. She walks over to the small cocktail table and serves us both drinks, I'm presuming whiskey. At this point I’m beginning to get very impatient. What exactly was the reason I was pulled away from everyone else. What is she going to tell me? She sets my drink on the coffee table then sits across from me while she holds her whiskey in her hand. I clear my throat running my fingers along the soft fabric of my dress “So, uh what did you want to talk about Mrs Choi?” She takes a small sip of her drink the gently rests it on her lap ”So you said you work for the Ulwood police department correct?” I nod carefully clasping my hands together and gently resting them on my knees “Yes, correct ma’am” She swirls her drink in the heavy crystal glass whilst I carefully reach for my drink on the table “In the police department? I work under Captain Steven Lee Ma’am.”

She’s not going to like this..I know it. She slightly raises her eyebrow “Very interesting…You do know your Captain killed my husband right?” I nod looking down at my drink slightly bowing my head “Ah, yes Mrs. Choi I was the one in charge of the case. We arrested the people who were involved in the murder.” Like San, his mother has a very intense stare only this time making me very more nervous knowing the lengths his mother is willing to go for her son so I can only imagine what she'd do for her husband. “That you did. Unfortunately you missed the main culprit.” Her words felt like swords stabbing right through me. Words that immediately make my stomach drop.

“I’m aware Mrs. Choi, unfortunately when San showed me what Captain Lee was really up to everything finally made sense. He purposely would steer things away from anything that he thought would get him caught, at the time my partner and I didn’t really understand why he wanted to be so heavily involved in the case since usually he’d be the one to usually just assign them and just stick to focusing on the department’s strategy. So I assure you I didn’t know anything until I met San.” Mrs. Choi stares at me unmoved, a complete 180 from when she was with San and Minia. “I understand, I'm sure that bastard has everyone back at the station fooled..” I nod respectfully agreeing “Yes, unfortunately even the best one among us got fooled. Which is why I’m working with San to put that man down.”

God, I sound so pathetic saying it like that. “So what’s your reason for helping my son? What did Steven do to you?” There’s the question I was waiting for. I let out a long sigh then I meet Mrs. Choi’s eyes finally lifting my gaze to meet hers “Well, San kidnapped me to get Captain Lee back but unfortunately he gave up trying to get me back once he realized he was going to have to expose his crimes to everyone so instead he left me for dead in hopes San gave up threatening him and I’d get killed. Luckily San did the opposite and instead had me pretend I was dead, which unfortunately caused me to lose everything I had; friends, family, career, my home..” With the last words quietly being trailed off from my throat growing a huge knot. Is she going to sympathize with a cop? Someone who works under the man who killed her husband?

Mrs. Choi’s gaze grows a bit soft and sets down her half filled glass on the arm rest of her seat “I am so sorry this happened to you. I can only imagine how many more people are suffering at the hands of Steven.” She’s right there are probably quite a few people getting blackmailed to do his dirty work for him. No doubt. “I just want to make sure you mean well working with my son, because if your intentions are not pure- and please do not take offense but a mother will do everything in her power to protect her son no matter who it’s against.” Ah, just what I was dreading. Nice. “ I understand Mrs. Choi, you have my promise there will be no moves on my part against San. I’m fully on the Aurora Syndicate’s side, you have my word.” Mrs. Choi Smiles “ I have one last question for you y/n.” I nod, taking a sip of my drink, the warmth slowly trickling down my throat and to my stomach. Yep, definitely whiskey. “Sure Mrs. Choi go ahead.”

She gives me a mischievous smile her finger tracing along the rim of her drink “So y/n what do you really think about my son?” I run my finger under the crystal glass trying my hardest to stay calm “Hm, like as a person?” Mrs. Choi warmly smiles clearly trying her best to get me to open up “As a man sweetheart.” My throat tightens causing me to clear my throat. “Oh, uh I mean he’s very handsome, and of course very kind.” Wait, why is she asking me this? “He definitely is, he takes a lot from his father…” Wait that’s all she was going to ask? I mean yeah it’s kinda weird but that’s it? “There’s one thing I will tell you is that my son tends to be quite flirty sometimes and I want you to pay no mind to him” No mind to him? Like ignore him? “Uh- Could you elaborate Mrs. Choi?” She sighs “To be frank, I don’t want you to get involved with my son. I understand you’re working with him but just leave it at that. Nothing more.” Is she really starting to pin this on me? Like I know it's true but oh my gosh how does she know? What gave it away…I need to convince her otherwise or I'll be in big trouble.

“My apologies for asking Mrs. Choi but why?” Mrs. Choi scoffs then retorts in a venomous tone “Because I don’t trust you. No matter what Steven Lee did to you, you’re still working under him. I don’t want San to fall for the same bullshit my husband fell for with Steven. That tragedy is not going to repeat itself again.” I carefully set my glass back onto the glass coffee table and I shake my head “I assure you that’s not going to happen Mrs. Choi. San and I have grown to be very close friends from sharing the same hatred for one person and the last thing I'd ever do is betray him. If anything I owe him my life.” Mrs. Choi seems unconvinced from my plea. “Then know that your place here which is only to help my son get rid of the man who killed my husband and not being romantically involved with him.” I drink the remaining whiskey in my glass in one go to prepare myself “Again, my apologies but I never explicitly stated my feelings towards Mr. Choi. I only really said he’s good looking and has a great heart.”

The woman rolls her eyes at me like just told her the stupidest thing on Earth “You were the one my son was shopping for. I asked you if you were the deceased detective because my son was telling me he was shopping for someone special. The problem is one of his associates let it slip that the girl he was shopping for was “the detective” After a bit of pondering I put two and two together. The last time my son went out of his way to spoil someone like that he was engaged to his former sweetheart.” I’m guessing San is not the type to gift just anyone, they have to be special to him. In that case, I'm special to him.. Wow. “You’re not wrong about your son getting me things, that’s true. That’s only because I needed them. What’s not true is my relationship with him. We’re simply friends.”

Without hesitation Mrs. Choi throws her drink at my face and gets up looking down at me “Don’t get smart with me, stay away from my son.” Her heels clack away little by little becoming more faint while I blankly stare down at the marbled floor in disbelief, my eyes blinking rapidly from the alcohol burning my eyes. She really knows. It's like she stays out of San’s business in front of him but behind his back she gets rid of people she deems useless for her son.. It’s probably why San is insisting of only a few people knowing his true plans. Unfortunately I understand her fear of trusting a cop, it’s completely validated. The thing is I’m not liking how this played out, we’re off to a bad start. Judging from the small things San would tell me about his mother, she seemed nice but now not so much. At least not when you get on her bad side. 

Eventually I manage to clear my eyes, my face and ears are burning out of embarrassment. My lap and chest wet from the whiskey, once I manage to stand up I walk back into the party.  I let out a long sigh and look around, trying to ignore the wet dress against my skin and my hair and makeup feeling gross. Maybe I should get San out of talking to that girl. He didn’t seem too comfortable with her. I walk around looking for San not really paying attention ahead of me until I accidentally bump into someone with my shoulder causing me to hiss in pain tightly clutching onto my wounded shoulder. “I’m sorry, are you okay? y/n?”

I look up and notice a worried Seonghwa staring down at me whilst the other people he was talking to just silently stare at me. Gosh, I’m so glad to have found someone I recognize. Walking around with a bunch of people I don’t know was starting to make me really uncomfortable considering how horrid I probably look. “I’m fine, sorry I was looking for San. He was with a girl.” Seonghwa raises his eyebrow then he excuses himself from the people he was talking to and walks a few steps away from them pulling me aside “A girl?” I nod looking around trying to see if maybe San was anywhere close by. “Yeah, her name is Jisu, really pretty, looks like a model.” Seonghwa slowly nods “Ah, yes. His mother is trying to set them up..” He looks around and steers me in the opposite direction I was walking “I think for now it’s best you don’t interrupt them, you don’t want to upset Mrs. Choi.”

I glance over at Seonghwa and scoff looking away, feeling the tears in my eyes making them sting “I already did that, can’t you see my makeup is all runny?” Seonghwa turns my face in his direction and slightly squints, gently pushes a lock of my hair behind my ear inspecting my face “Your makeup is fine surprisingly, your hair though. It’s a bit-” I look down clearly embarrassed “I know, ugly..” Seonghwa warmly smiles and takes out the handkerchief in his breast pocket gently patting my face and hair dry “No- I mean your hair looks wet.. What happened?” I close my eyes for a bit to force my tears back into my eyes when I open them I pull his hand towards the exit “I can’t say it here.. Can we go outside?” Seonghwa gently rests his hand on my uninjured shoulder “Before we go, are you hurt? Do we need to get Jongho?”

I look under the fur wrap at my wound and shake my head “No, I’m fine. I just bumped it a little.”  He reaches over and links my arm around his “Alright good, this is so you don’t fall by the way. Those shoes look like an accident waiting to happen.” I roll my eyes and laugh “You do know I wear heeled shoes to work sometimes, I have no issues walking on high heels.” He shrugs stifling a laugh “So? What if you fall? In front of all these people..”

Well he’s right, that would be embarrassing and I’ve been embarrassed enough tonight “Okay fine..” Seonghwa starts to guide me out the door until we step outside the chilly evening. “Geez, it’s kind of cold.” I slightly shiver and hug myself standing behind one of the statues at the top of the stairs leading to the door. Seonghwa unbuttons his blazer about to take it off before I panickily mumble “No please, it’s okay…” Seonghwa looks at me for a moment and asks “Are you sure? I don’t want you to catch a cold..” I shake my head forcing a smile “I won’t I promise.” He stands next to me clearing his throat “So, what happened?” I look down and let out a soft sigh and for the first time tonight I begin to really process what happened making my throat grow a knot again. For a few moments I struggle to get the words out until I finally blurt out “San’s mother, she hates me.” Seonghwa gives me a very concerned look “What? Mrs. Choi? How?..” Slightly frustrated I hug myself tighter, tears now rolling down my cheeks “ She found out about me and San, she doesn’t want me to be romantically involved with him because she thinks I’m going to get into his head and basically be the downfall for their business..”

Seonghwa lets out a sigh and pulls me into a hug “I’m so sorry y/n. Did she find out through you or-” I sniffle and pull away looking up at an uneasy Seonghwa “I tried to deny it, but she found out through a slip up with one of the associates, not sure who it was but they referred to me as “the detective” when talking to his mother over who San was shopping for..” Seonghwa lets out a long sigh and rubs his forehead slightly frustrated “San’s going to get pissed..” Once he lets out his small frustration he gently pats my head gently pushing it back onto his chest “Do you want to leave? We don’t have to stay here if you’re uncomfortable.” While my head gently rests on Seonghwa’s chest I look at the entrance for a few long seconds “I don’t know, I feel like maybe I need to go tell San over what happened with his mother. He seemed pretty worried when she asked me to talk.”

Seonghwa gently clears the stray hairs on my face “San will understand, don't worry. I can call him and let him know that I’m taking you home.” I worriedly look at Seonghwa “Are you sure? You don’t have to, you can just give me the keys and I can drive myself.” He chuckles and gently pats my head “It doesn’t bother me, I promise. Besides I can’t let a girl looking as pretty as you drive herself home alone.” Seonghwa pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and scrolls on his phone for a bit then puts his cellphone to his ear, where you can faintly hear the dial tone until you hear San’s voice “Hey, y/n isn’t feeling too well. I’m taking her home.” San’s voice responds but I can’t make out what he’s saying, only that he sounded a bit annoyed. Seonghwa then responds “She’s not feeling too well being here-” Suddenly Seonghwa stops talking while San says something to which Seonghwa tensely responds “Ah, okay then we’ll be out in the front waiting.”

San curtly responds then the call ends rendering Seonghwa to awkwardly let out a sigh putting his cell phone away then slowly pulls back and looks at me forcing a smile “Change of plans, San’s going to take you instead. He asked me to stay and talk to some investors.” I raise an eyebrow “What? I thought he was busy.” Seonghwa gently pats my head and chuckles “Well, I guess he’s not too busy for you. Which is good, maybe he’ll learn to take time to himself instead of working all the time.” Seonghwa looked kind of upset now, although he’s really good at hiding it; his tense body language and his faint darkened mood replaces his usual warm and caring demeanor which is what gave it away. “I’m sorry, for bothering you Hwa.” Seonghwa gives me a faint smile then turns to look at the horizon.

The sky being painted a beautiful shade of sparkly dark blue now as opposed to earlier. “You don't need to, if anything I'm glad we bumped into each other. You needed someone after that encounter with Mrs. Choi, I know right now you’re holding back trying not to cry as much as you’d like.” Unfortunately he’s right, I can’t bawl my eyes out like a child here. Not only would that be embarrassing for me but I know it’ll be embarrassing for San as well. “Yeah, considering what my job is, I kind of have to keep it together even if I am a crybaby when I’m alone.” Seonghwa glances over at me “Just know with me you never have to hold back, I know we still don’t know each other very well but I’m here.” Seonghwa has always been very kind, although I feel weird confiding in him now considering how we’ve gone through the unfortunate situation of him seeing my true relationship with San. I guess it’s nice knowing I have a friend in these situations “Thank you, it means a lot.” Seonghwa gently nudges my arm “So are you going to tell San what happened with his mother?”

I stare at the ground for a few good seconds, before I’m even able to say anything the front door opens followed by “y/n are you okay?” I glance up and it’s a worried San hurriedly walking in my direction, Seonghwa steps aside letting him stand next to me where he reaches over for my arm. “Uh..” Seonghwa looks at the both of us then slightly bows in San’s direction “I’m off, I hope you make it home safely y/n” I give him a reassuring smile then Seonghwa looks in San’s direction  “I was keeping y/n company but now that you’re here-” San pats Seonghwa’s back turns him towards the door “Yeah I’ll call you if I need anything, thanks for keeping an eye on her.” Seonghwa forces a smile and excuses himself without saying anything else. What was that? 

“Why didn’t you let Seonghwa just take me home? Weren’t you on a date?” San dryly chuckles “What? No.. I mean I was with Jisu but I promise you it wasn’t a date. I was just appeasing my mother since I really didn’t want to upset her here.” San takes my hand gently pressing his lips onto the back of my hand  “Enough of me though, what happened?” I let out a long sigh and start walking down the stairs “We have to get out of here, I’m not risking anyone overhearing us no matter how “Safe” it is here. “ San follows behind not letting go of my arm “Wait, is it really that bad? Was it some asshole that said something to you or was it my mother?” San’s last words render me to make the knot in my throat break knowing damn well I wasn’t going to make it without crying. “Baby?” San stands still causing me to be pulled into a complete halt “Look at me, it’s okay. I’m here, I'm not going anywhere.” He pulls me into his arms where he gently presses his lips on my shoulder “Don’t cry, please. We’ll go into the car and talk about this okay?”

San digs into his pocket where after a few moments I hear the sound of his car beeping which was luckily nearby. He pulls back cupping my face looking into my eyes, his usual intimidating gaze is now soft trying his hardest to comfort me “Come on baby, car’s over there.” He grabs my hand and we walk to the car whilst I quietly sniffle behind him. When we finally get to his car he opens the door to his expensive looking car and lets me in.  Surprisingly it wasn’t a sports car but a luxury car that looked like it cost more than the average person’s yearly income. I better not let any tears fall onto the seat if that’s the case. Once San enters the car and closes the door behind him he turns in my direction and reaches for my hand “Okay, now tell me what happened?” Still teary eyes and without even letting silence run by that long I blurt out “Your mother knows about us San, the thing is she’s not happy about it.” San furrows his eyebrows “Wait? What? How?” I shrug blinking back my tears “From what she told me is that one of your associates let it slip.” San’s gaze darkens which is the look I was most afraid of seeing. “Who was it, I need names y/n..”

I shake my head my tears running down my cheeks while I slightly stumble. “I don’t know that’s just what she told me, she specifically said he referred to me as “the detective” and of course she pieced it together saying that you don’t usually go out of your way to gift anyone anything especially if it’s a woman. She said that when you asked her for advice on how find a dress she asked you who you were shopping for to which you simply responded “Someone special” which gave her a hint of what type of relationship it was” San stays silent gently rubbing his thumb on my hand whilst he listens. “She also said she didn’t want anything between us because she doesn’t want a repeat of what happened to your father which I understand and I guess to explain my wet hair she kind of threw her drink at me.” The air changed, he’s upset. I can feel it. 

He clenches his jaw while he bounces his leg trying to dissipate the anger. He sits there in silence for a few seconds before he finally gets up and exits the car angrily. Terrified of making it worse I get out of the car and speed walk behind him “Please, don’t tell her anything..” He silently walks in the direction of his home most. I speed walk a little faster finally catching up to him immediately reaching for his hand with tears blurring my vision. “San! Please!” He comes to a halt once those words leave my lips and halts glaring at the Choi’s property, his eyes seething with anger. I stand in front of him and tighten my grip on his hand. “Please, let’s just go. It’s okay, I just need you to be with me that’s all..” San’s gaze stays fixed to the house in silence until he finally utters  “I really am sorry y/n, I’m so sorry my mother treated you like this. You didn’t deserve this at all, you have no idea how much it pisses me off. I could have avoided this happening to you had I gone with you instead of obeying my mother. I trusted she wouldn’t pull something like this..” I walk into his arms, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head on his chest. “Don’t worry about it, we’ll figure it out. We don’t want to ruin your sister’s day do we?” San’s eyes remain angry and cold while holding onto me.

Once I manage to get him to get back in the car San practically glares ahead of him then turns on his car anger seething through him. “Put your seatbelt on we’re getting the fuck out of here.” Obeying him I immediately pull the seatbelt over myself clicking it into place “Where are we going?” He grumbles “Somewhere that’s not here.” He pulls out of the driveway and the tires screech as we drive through the gates and back to the long pathway leading out of the Choi’s property. I notice San’s tight grip on the shift gear making the veins in his arms pop out that’s when I reach over and rest my hand over his  “I’ll be fine, it hurt but I’ll be okay. I’ve been treated much worse.” San looks ahead keeping his eyes on the road but still very clearly upset “You don’t understand y/n , all my life my mother’s been like a saint to me. In my eyes she could do no wrong because that’s how much respect I have towards her. The thing is this time she’s wrong, you’re nothing like Lee, you’re a godsend, someone I was so happy to have met even if they were all under the wrong circumstances. My angel.” I gently hug San’s arm whilst holding onto his hand “See? All it matters is that you recognize it.” I still hate that his mom ended up hating me, but I saw it coming. “I know, I just wish she saw what I see in you, the sweet, hardworking and strong woman that I fell for.” I gently squeeze his hand on the gear shift and kiss his cheek “She will.” She won’t, and I know that because I know you’ll go on to marry someone who fits your lifestyle. 

“So Mr. Choi, where are we going?” He gives me a dimpled smile while keeping his eyes on the road “Hm, is there anywhere in particular you want to go angel?” I hum watching the cars ahead of us pass by “I’ll go wherever you go Sannie, just being with you makes me happy.” He quickly leans in and kisses my forehead before he says “Take a nap baby, you had a long day. I’ll wake you up when we get there hm?” I adjust in my seat resting my head against the head rest and cross my arms in front of my chest. As soon as I close my eyes close San lets out a groan “Why’d you let go of my hand?” I open my eyes and look over at a pouty San “What? I was going to leave you alone so you drive comfortably”

He lets go of the gear shift and takes my hand lacing his fingers between mine “Who said I wasn’t comfortable?” I giggle “Okay fine, my mistake my pouty boy.” He feigns a pout trying not to smile but completely fails. “Ah, look it’s your dimples! Look, you're smiling!” San chuckles “No I’m not!” I reach over with my free hand and poke his dimple “Oh but Mr. Choi you are look I just poked your dimple..” San keeps his eyes on the road then gently brings my hand up to his lips and kisses my hand “Go to sleep detective or I'm afraid I’ll end up crashing this car if you keep distracting me with your antics.” I slowly nod stifling a laugh “Fair enough I’ll sleep, it better be good.. ” I close my eyes and pull San’s hand onto my lap, until the car’s movement lulls me to sleep.

“Wake up angel, we’re here.” San gently strokes my arm while I slowly stir awake, the distant sounds of the ocean waves crashing against the shore. I open my eyes and see a smiling San by now he had removed his blazer now leaving him with his vest and dress shirt, his sleeves rolled up like usual while resting his forearm at the top of the car door way “Ah, look at you. Such a beauty..” He looks over at the sand then back down at my shoes “Hm, I think you might want to take those off.” I kick off my high heels and throw my fur cover up in the back seat. “You’re right high heels in sand aren’t fun.” He gently leans in and and kisses my forehead before he helps me step out of the car. “We came to the beach..” He nods gently squeezing my hand in his “We did, do you like it? I know it’s dark right now but you can still see pretty well from the lights” I look at the waves being delicately illuminated by the soft glow of the moon.

“I love it, but why exactly are we here?” San brings my hand up to his lips and kisses my hand while we both walk towards the beautiful ocean “I wanted to cheer you up, what happened tonight was my fault. I shouldn’t have let you go alone with my mother so I wanted to make up for it somehow even though it doesn’t undo everything that happened.” I stop us a few feet before the shore and I turn to face San, he looks down at me gently running his thumb along my cheek. I lean into his touch and hold his hand onto my face “Don’t worry. Whatever happens, happens. I’m used to hatred coming my way.” His brows inch together “You shouldn’t say that though. You should always have love coming your way because you deserve to be loved.”

I look up at him and examine his face, he’s so beautiful, just like his words. “Your words are so pretty Mr. Choi, you always manage to remind me why I love you so much.” San nervously chuckles then cups my face with one hand and pulls me close with the other “My words are only pretty to resemble the one who receives them.” He leans in and kisses me, his soft lips very tenderly latching onto mine whilst he holds me close to him. My hands slowly run up his chest while my feet slowly sink into the sand below me so I tip toe to reach around his neck, San notices this and breaks the kiss. “Having trouble baby?” I pout feeling a bit embarrassed “No..” San chuckles planting a kiss on my cheek “You’re so cute..” I pull the front of my dress up “I bet you can’t catch me..” He raises his eyebrow and smirks “I think I can.. Go ahead and get a head start..”

I stick my tongue out at him and run ahead along the beach as fast as I can while giggling knowing he was dumb enough to give me a head start. Just as quickly as I ran a gap between us he quickly catches up to me and carefully throws me over his shoulder as to not hurt my injured shoulder and slaps my butt. I loudly gasp playfully smacking his arm “San, stop!” He chuckles and slaps my butt again and defiantly squeezes it “This is fun actually. So soft.” Catching me off guard I squeal and cover my mouth embarrassed that someone might see us and pat his back. He gently lays me down on the sand the crawls on top of me and places his soft lips on mine.

We kiss for a few moments before he lays next to me and lets out a soft groan. I reach over to hold his hand and we both look up at the beautiful glittery sky where he says “Are you happy with me y/n?” I turn to look at San who was looking up at the sky his lips pressed together anticipating my answer. “Of course I am. You have no idea how happy I am every time I see you. Although we can’t really hang out like a normal couple I still really like being around you.” He holds back a smile and nods, kissing my hand for the nth time today.

“Good, because I wish you were with me a little longer. I don’t want you to go.. You’re the only one who doesn’t force me to wear the mask I have to keep on every single day since my father died.” I bite the inside of my lip and silently stare up at the sky, for a moment I don’t know how to answer. How can I? So I stay silent for a bit trying to figure out what to say, maybe.. “So, are you finally admitting that San likes to be San and not an evil criminal?” San chuckles and lets out a soft exhale “Yeah, I do like being San even if I try to hide it most of the time, it’s better than having enemies you didn’t know you had and having to keep your guard up every time you meet someone new.” I’m surprised he’s not a paranoid mess all the time with the amount of people constantly going after him.

“I’ll be your safe space. Always, just find me when you need me.” He lays down on his side propping his head on his hand “Be careful, I might kidnap you from the station and this time I won’t return you..” I boop his nose and giggle “You have to return me silly, or we won’t get rid of our mutual enemy.” He pulls my face close to his and before he pulls me in for a kiss he says “Screw that man, I want my girl by my side..” He kisses down to my neck burying his face and letting out a soft sigh. I gently stroke his now shorter dark hair without messing it up too much “You know what’s funny?” San lets out a soft hum and I continue “This dress is a vintage Mugler and I got whiskey on it and now a bunch of sand is all over it..”

San lifts his head and looks up at me “So?” I scoff and a dryly laugh “It’s ruined..” San gives me a dimpled smile “Don’t worry about it, I’ll buy it. As long as my angel is happy I don’t mind.” I blink in confusion and shock “But it’s expensive-” He gently covers my mouth “It’s fine, I promise. Besides it got ruined because of me so don’t feel bad.” He kisses my neck one last time before he lays his head back down on his arm “So, do you want to go home?” I exhaustedly hum and he gets up “Come on, I’ll carry you to the car.” I shake my head “No wait, it’s okay. I want to hold your hand again.” San helps me up raising his eyebrow “You really are a softie Detective..” I roll my eyes and lace my fingers between his. “You like it though.” San sucks his teeth “I do. Alot. Do it more often.” I glance up at him, the moonlight hitting his features at just the right angle making my heart skip a beat. “Yes Mr.Choi..” I got whiskey thrown in my face today but somehow San made me feel better. 

•································•································•

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[mylight-png]

Sorry to be a bother, but I (mid-conversion) have a request, if you aren't too busy and don't mind.

Could you please reccomend some great fiction books, YA, Adult, other, where the main character just happens to be Jewish? And preferably not made a victim or a villain by the author, written by a jew would be even better.

Thanks for your consideration:)

Omg yes absolutely yes. When The Angels Left The Old Country is absolutely amazing. It's so completely Jewish that I honestly feel like it'd be inseparable from Judaism. If one is to take everything Jewish out of that book then that book cannot exist anymore. The writing and representation is absolutely incredible. It does have some antisemitism portrayed in it due to the historical setting of the story, but it isn't the main focus of the book.

Black Bird Blue Road is also really really centered on Judaism, also to the point where the book couldn't exist without it. It's definitely meant for a younger audience, but even so it is an absolutely fantastic book that I believe can be enjoyed by anyone.

Anya And The Dragon was by far one of my favorite books by a Jewish author that I've read. It's set in imperial Russia, so there is also some antisemitism, but it isn't the center of the story. This book is significantly less centered on Judaism, but even so the author does not let the reader forget that the protagonist is Jewish. There's even a scene where the protag is at an event with food and ends up barely eating anything because nothing was kosher, which I'd honestly never seen addressed in a book before. While both of the previous books were written about Judaism in big ways, this book (and its sequel) were focused on the seemingly smaller things that still ended up being big things. It is also worth noting that this book had a strong focus on Russian folklore and I'm not sure if some references to it would make sense to those who are unfamiliar with it, but those details would seem like interesting bits of world building anyway, so don't let that dissuade you from reading it!!

What I Like About You is definitely a book I'd recommend. It's solidly in the YA category, as opposed to the previous two. The protagonist is Jewish, but part of the book is her connecting with Judaism a bit more. If I remember correctly, antisemitism isn't really addressed in this book, but there are representations of panic attacks and anxiety about dying, so if those may be an issue then this is a book to skip. The book is centered on romance, and I have read it like five times. There's also representation of very observant Jewish characters, as well as mixed Jewish characters, so the protag isn't the only Jewish character.

As If On Cue is so so good. It's by the same author as the previous recommendation and it does have a scene or two where antisemitism I'd addressed, but it is done so well. Both protagonist and love interest are Jewish, but not very observant. Even so, the author portrays how their Jewishness affects how they interact with the world in some parts of the books. This book is the ultimate rivals to lovers book and I highly recommend.

There are a few other books with Jewish protagonists that I could recommend, but I think these are the best ones that I've read. All of them are written by Jewish authors and are amazingly written.

This was such a great question to get though omg, I love books so much. Books are like most of my personality. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to rant about Jewish books!!

[tea-and-tickles]

heyaaa it’s me again:3 you can choose whoever you’d like for the ler! (i’m the one who requested lee kasa HAHA)

*i crawl out of a flaming hole in the ground on my hands and knees. i am disheveled and holding charred pieces of paper held together with a paper clip* I FINISHED THE FIC

anon, tsukasa has never been my favorite character, but thank you so much for this request. it was a challenge to write a character that i was less familiar with and it was SO FUN! and also, fair warning... i got carried away. it's a 4k word fic. it is... honestly equally a ruikasa fic as it is a tickle fic. still! i worked really hard on this so i hope it was worth the wait! thank you SO MUCH for your patience as i worked on this!! have a lovely day! :D

"all the world's a stage (so show me how this story ends)"

a/n: i am posting this at 3:30 in the gddamn morning. i have a date at 11. i am going to bed now.

!! kink blogs please DNI. i do not fuck with ns.fw blogs interacting with me. if i see u i'm blocking on sight !!

Summary: Alternate Title: 4 times Rui tickled Tsukasa on accident + 1 time he did it on purpose.

After Rui tickles Tsukasa while Wonderlands x Showtime is prepping for a new show, Tsukasa can't seem to get him out of his head...

Warnings: Tickling.

Kamishiro Rui x Tenma Tsukasa from Project SEKAI (Hatsune Miku: Colorful Stage!)

Word Count: 4.3k

1

“Tsukasaaaa! This is so neat!” Emu bellowed. “I love how Prince Pegasus is all like, pchoo! Pow! Bop! at The Manticore!”

“You said this is a story you made up for your little sister?” Nene asked.

“Indeed!” Tsukasa proclaimed. Recently, Wonderlands x Showtime had toyed around with performing more completely original works at the Wonder Stage. Of course, their shows always had a personal touch (this was nearly impossible to avoid with Tsukasa’s flair for the dramatic, Rui’s inventive streak, and the sheer scope of Emu’s imagination. Tsukasa sometimes wondered how Nene did it). But they were always based on something. Cinderella but with robots. A theoretical continuation of Sleeping Beauty. King Midas with audience participation. Okay, that last one was a lie, if only because Rui couldn’t make a machine to magically transmute carbon to gold. But it was definitely on brand.

“Saki and I used to play dragons when we were little. But when she got sick, she wasn’t able to play the way she used to. She talked a lot about missing the adventures of Prince Pegasus, my character, so I wrote down new adventures to read to her when I visited her in the hospital!”

Tsukasa was, admittedly, a little apprehensive about performing this. The Chronicles of Prince Pegasus were fun, even enthralling, when it was just him and Saki. But what would his troupemates think? An audience? If he allowed himself to think much more about it, he might just back out.

“Obviously this is a rewritten version, adapted for the stage and adjusted to be even more harrowing!” The others were still reading. Tsukasa couldn’t stand the silence. “But! I would love to hear your thoughts!”

“It’s really interesting, Tsukasa,” Rui said. It was the first time he had spoken since they began reading the script. “I’d like to make a few tweaks to streamline the story and to give us some wiggle room for a bit more improvisation, but I really like the premise. A classic, yet exciting hero’s journey.”

The others nodded in agreement. Phew. This might go okay after all. No, of course it will! “Tweaks? To a star’s original fiction?! How could you, Rui?!” Tsukasa joked.

Rui gently elbowed Tsukasa in the ribs, to which he yelped and jumped almost a foot in the air. It didn’t quite startle him (after all, someone as brave as him wouldn’t crumble beneath such a light touch!), but it… tickled? “I know. I’m the worst,” Rui said. “Now, let’s discuss casting. I think…”

Huh… weird. Tsukasa hadn’t anticipated that such a light touch would make him react in such a way. And why was his face a bit warmer?

Surely it’s just the summer heat.

2

Tsukasa cursed the fact that he was 5’7. Not because he didn’t feel masculine enough or because it somehow took away from his dramatic breadth; rather that Rui put everything too damn high up for him to reach. He was thankful, really. When the troupe actually began production on this show a few weeks ago, Tsukasa found it so surreal. He’d starred in plays, sure, but he’d never written one that got performed! This was the opportunity of a lifetime! Still, how on Earth was he supposed to get into character if he didn’t have Prince Pegasus’ sword?! His cape?! After all, the sword was arguably the focal point of the showdown scene they’d be rehearsing today. Getting up to the blasted things might as well have been a show in and of itself. Tenma Tsukasa, desperately balancing on that treacherous swivel chair—in vain. Tenma Tsukasa, clawing his way up the mountain that was the shelves backstage—only to lose his grip. Tenma Tsukasa Found Dead in Phoenix Wonderland was hardly an appealing show title. This was clearly a losing battle.

“Hey, Rui? Can you give me a hand?”

There he came, his knight in shining sweatpants. “At your service.”

“Thank goodness! I can’t seem to reach the props we need for the next scene. Can you reach?”

Rui stared up at the top shelf where Prince Pegasus’ trusty sword and cape lay. He cocked his head to the left, then to the right. Incredulous. Tsukasa knew Rui was strategic to a fault, but this was excessive. “Hm. Now how did those get all the way up there?”

“You tell me! You’re the prop master!” How strange, he thought! Perhaps this was an exercise in dramatic irony?

Rui began to chew his knuckle. “I am, aren’t I?” Okay, maybe not. That nervous tick was something Rui only did when he was actually nervous—or confused. Think, Tsukasa. Think! There must be something to be done about this predicament! Rui was doing… something. Surveying the scene, perhaps? What more was there to survey? Ground, climb, props. Beginning, middle, end. “To be honest, I don’t know how I got those up there in the first place. I can’t even reach that high. Maybe someone else moved them?”

“Who? Robo-Nene?”

“Maybe.”

“Ugh. You’re impossible,” Tsukasa groaned (with a surprising undertone of affection, he realized). “Wait, what about the ladder? Where is it?”

Rui shook his head. “Emu gave it to one of the contractors for the new splash pad they’re working on in the kids’ area.”

“Great, so what do we do now?”

Rui went back to chewing on his knuckles. Interesting technique… Tsukasa wondered if it might help him think of something.

…mm, nope. No dice. His mouth kind of just tasted like salt now. 

“Oh, how about I lift you up?” Rui suggested. “The top shelf is about eight feet off the ground. I should be able to get you up high enough to reach.”

Tsukasa internally kicked himself for not thinking of that sooner. But of course, as the brave troupe leader he was, he had to inspire confidence in his dear director. “Aha! Brilliant plan, Rui! Yes, let’s conquer this conundrum once and for all!”

Rui chuckled. “That’s our star.” Those words made Tsukasa’s stomach flutter in a way that almost… pleasant? He decided he’d unpack that later. Rui carefully positioned himself behind Tsukasa, hovering his hands just over Tsukasa’s waist. “Okay, ready?”

“Ready!”

1, 2, and 3. Tsukasa was in the air… and suddenly fighting for his composure. Much to his chagrin, unlike the harnesses he’d used to fly in past shows, the sensation of Rui’s hands on his waist was incredibly ticklish. The fact that his fingers just wouldn’t stay still certainly didn’t help. What on Earth was this pattern? It all happened at once—his stomach fluttered. His core muscles tensed. His lips pursed in an absolutely desperate attempt to suppress a yelp. If he moved, he might give himself away. Curse my body for this betrayal!

“Tsukasa? Are you—”

“I’mfinehahathanks!!” Definitely not convincing. Still, there was time to save this. Tsukasa clambered for the props, and once they were safe in his hands, he landed safely on the ground, heart still pounding in his chest and blood rushing to his face. Turning completely away from Rui would be suspicious, but he had to cut his losses somehow.

“Th-Thanks for your help,” Tsukasa said, fastening the royal blue cape around his neck. Ah! Wait! He could pass it off with his costume! Tsukasa did a dramatic half-turn, the cape unceremoniously tangling behind him. Turns out the stale air of the shop was not exactly conducive to flowy capes.

“Of course,” Rui replied. Tsukasa imagined Rui grinning from ear-to-ear. Normally it came across as smug, but… part of him wanted to turn around, just to see if it looked different.

A beat. Neither moved and neither spoke.

“All right, want to start rehearsing the scene in fifteen?” Rui asked.

“Yeah, sounds good.”

Rui made his way back onto the Wonder Stage. Something told Tsukasa that this would stay etched into his brain for the foreseeable future.

3

Rui.

Rui, Rui, Rui.

“Our star.”

There was a pit in Tsukasa’s stomach. It had been days since the prop incident, as he called it. He’d been thinking about Rui for much longer than he usually did. His sly, grinning face; his voice; his praise; his stupid jokes—and his hands on his waist. Tsukasa longed for Rui’s touch, and he longed for that touch in particular.

He didn’t get it.

Tsukasa had never had a real crush before. Wait—was it even a crush? Can one develop crushes that quickly? He was at least a little prepared for the butterflies and the racing thoughts. But tickling? Did people fantasize about their crushes tickling them? Was this normal? Then again, maybe it wasn’t actually about the tickling, right? No, surely he just wanted Rui’s attention. That made enough sense. But then again again, why was he so fixated on that moment in particular? Not all the other times Rui had touched him? Why was he so fixated on Rui’s fingers dancing across his skin? Of nails gliding across his stomach and hands lovingly squeezing his sides? Of gentle kisses to his cheeks? Of laughing without a care in the world as Rui showered him with compliment after compliment?

No one could ever know about this. Not the troupe, not Saki, not Toya, and especially not Rui. But Tsukasa was an actor. Surely he could put on a brave face.

…

Or not. Dress rehearsals were actually kind of a disaster. Sure, Prince Pegasus was victorious even without his sword, he rescued his sister, yadda yadda yadda. Tsukasa could go through the motions. But he kept finding his eyes drifting to Rui. And for the most part, Rui hadn’t noticed (thank God), until the final scene.

“Pegasus! Remember, you’re talking to your sister, not the audience!”

Damn it.

“Right! Sorry!”

So the scene dragged on. They ran through it twice. Then three times. Tsukasa’s mind was foggy with heat, frustration, and Rui. Rui’s attention. Rui watching him. Rui judging him. Rui’s disappointment in his lackluster performance. Rui’s disgust when he inevitably learned what Tsukasa had been thinking lately. The urge to cry pricked the corner of his eye.

“...and scene!” shouted Rui. “That was perfect.”

Reprieve. Tsukasa wasn’t absolutely convinced, but it would do for now.

…

Rui’s show notes went in one ear and out the other. There was no way for them not to. While Nene and Emu listened intently, Tsukasa just pondered whatever… that was. This was bad. Very, very bad. Tsukasa had struggled with roles before, but never for this reason. Never because he was so utterly enamored by a guy that he couldn’t focus. What did this mean for him? If he couldn’t surmount a little crush to play a simple fucking role, how could he possibly convey the hero’s journey? Tomorrow Prince Pegasus would appear just as pathetic as Tsukasa was. He needed to will this away, or at least shove it down long enough to—

“Tsukasa.”

Oh no.

“R-Rui! My friend! What can your star do for you?” Jesus, did he really just say that?

Rui frowned. Tsukasa drew in a sharp breath. He saw this coming from miles away, but his stomach churned all the same. “You seemed distracted today. That isn’t like you. I was worried, and… I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Exhale.

…that’s it? That’s all he had to say? In just ten seconds, Tsukasa had gone through all five stages of grief and prepared a (quite beautiful, he thought) monologue explaining his “poor” performance. But Rui, ever the wildcard, threw that plan out the window. Of course, any actor can handle a little improv! Right…?

“Oh, yes! I was just…” Think, Tsukasa. Think. “…uh, the heat! Yes, that’s it. I was simply dizzy with the summer heat!” If Rui’s expression was anything to go off of, that wasn’t very convincing at all. So much for improv.

Rui’s contorted face quickly softened to a concerned one. Absolutely none of this was going to plan. “Tsukasa, are you nervous?”

Of course I am, Rui. How can I be calm when your stupid, pretty face is right in front of me? How can I be calm when all I can think about is you ti—

No. But Rui saw right through him. Lying was absolutely not an option. He could, however, conjure a different motivation—it just had to be in character. “Maybe a little. It’s just… are you sure we’re ready to perform tomorrow? I know all of our characters came easily to us, especially mine, of course, but this might be our quickest turnaround yet!” …yeah! Something like that.

Rui seemed to contemplate this answer for a moment (or, at least, that was Tsukasa’s best guess. Rui’s facial expressions were not known for their readability.) He smiled, laying a hand on Tsukasa’s shoulder. “You know I would never put on a show that I didn’t think we could perform. As your director, I have the utmost confidence in you and the others.” Then, he lay his other hand on Tsukasa’s free shoulder, just as tenderly as the first. “And I know our star won’t let us down.”

This wasn’t out of the ordinary. Rui was usually sincere, but felt recontextualized. Tsukasa knew something about Rui, or maybe himself, that he didn’t before. Impulses took over, and before he knew it, Tsukasa found his face buried into the nape of Rui’s neck and his arms wrapped tightly around his body. This was so incredibly selfish. But then Rui’s arms found their way to Tsukasa’s back. It wasn’t as if the two had never hugged before, but it might as well have been. Rui had taken on a different role in Tsukasa’s mind: of an eccentric and colorful casanova.

His soliloquy was suddenly interrupted by the sensation of Rui’s fingertips stroking the length of his back. This was getting ridiculous—could he catch a break today?! Each new spot Rui touched set Tsukasa’s nerves ablaze. Rui’s nimble fingers traveled all the way down to the small of Tsukasa’s back, then slowly back up again, tracing his spine to the valley between his shoulder blades. The higher Rui went, the harder it was for Tsukasa to stifle the giggles bubbling up from his diaphragm. He prayed to God, the universe, anyone who might hear him, that this moment would last a little while longer. But, with one final squeeze, Rui let go. 

Tsukasa now prayed that golden hour would obscure the blush on his face. “Um—thanks for… that, Rui.”

Rui smiled (if he even stopped smiling in the first place?). “Of course. I’ll see you tomorrow.” And, in true cheesy-romance-movie fashion, Tsukasa stared as Rui disappeared beyond the sunlight-bathed horizon.

This wasn’t going away, was it?

4

Tsukasa loved the way the Wonder Stage transformed Rui him and his friends. He’d learned this term once, social facilitation, and that described it perfectly: the crowd was the extra push the troupe needed to be the best they could be. Somehow, all the fears he’d had from the previous day had washed away. Emu’s acting demonstrated a surprising level of depth. Nene found confidence on the stage she didn’t have elsewhere.

And Rui? The Wonder Stage brought him out in his purest form.

Rui had long since moved past his days of typecasting, especially with how well-received Thorpe was—but no one would dare say he was a bad typecaster. When Rui assigned himself a role, he played it well. Case in point, today’s villain, The Manticore. 

Suspense hung in the air as the audience watched Prince Pegasus approach The Manticore. “You,” Prince Pegasus snarled (so far, so good). He sauntered over to his nemesis, hand on his sword’s hilt. “You have a lot of nerve, kidnapping my sister and thinking I wouldn’t track you down.” This wasn’t going badly after all! Rui had no idea how right he was yesterday—that even if Tsukasa was plagued by this… preoccupation… he was still more than capable. It was all such a rush.

Rui chuckled. Or was it The Manticore? Really, they may have been one and the same. Like Rui, The Manticore was charming, cunning, eccentric, and a little bit too handsome for comfort. But no matter! Like any good story, the Prince would surely emerge victorious; he would defeat his nemesis with courage and wit alone.

And then it happened; something unscripted. Rui placed a finger beneath Tsukasa’s chin, tilting it upward. Tsukasa’s cheeks burned. And as if matters couldn’t get any worse, Rui’s finger then pivoted inward, mimicking a lion’s claw. It tickled. And it drove Tsukasa crazy. This, of all times?! Rui had to know. He was testing him. His resolve. His talent. Tsukasa’s composure teetered on that claw for entirely too long. 

“My Prince,” The Manticore (Rui???) cooed. “The choice is yours. The sword, or your sister.”

Tsukasa swallowed hard. But an actor can handle a little improv. Prince Pegasus bowed, offering his sword. “As you wish.”

+1

“Woooow!!!” Emu cheered. “That was so awesome! That must’ve been our biggest crowd yet!”

Nene nodded. “I could really feel the tension between Prince Pegasus and The Manticore. 

Tension was right. The amount of restraint it took not to kiss Rui then and there was kind of unbearable. But��� Emu was right, too. It was an incredible show with an incredible turnout. So much so, in fact, that the four were already planning a rerun and new ways to make it even more incredible. (Emu and Rui’s idea of this was pyrotechnics. Tsukasa figured he could talk some sense into them another time). For now, they could ride the high of another successful show.

A few rides and a meal later, Emu and Nene began making their way home, leaving Tsukasa alone with Rui. This wasn’t unusual—the girls usually needed to get home a bit earlier—but something felt different. Not just Tsukasa’s little crush, that was hardly new. No, Rui seemed distant. Maybe a bit aloof. That pit in his stomach returned. After the stunt Rui pulled during the show, Tsukasa was convinced he had surely caught on to the thoughts plaguing his mind. And, seeing how Tsukasa just barely pushed through the scene, Rui had surely decided that Tsukasa was far too odd to be close to anymore.

…but that didn’t make sense. Rui was weird, sure. His directing methods were sometimes questionable and his inventions bordered on insane. But Rui wasn’t malicious. He was far too sincere to ever test Tsukasa like that. Plus! Rui hadn’t been distant this morning before the show!

And then it clicked. Tsukasa had made himself the villain in his own story! It wasn’t him, but his inner demons! Okay, that was probably a little heavy-handed for a tickle-crush on a boy. But his point stood! What a complex narrative!

Even with this realization, that pit remained. He wasn’t exactly certain, but there was only one way to find out. He had to know how the story would end, no matter how afraid he was. And so, putting on the bravest face he could muster, Tsukasa sauntered over to Rui.

“Hey, Rui.”

“Hmm?”

“What was… that? By the way?”

Rui chuckled. That damn chuckle. “Ah, did you like that little detail in the showdown scene? I thought a bit of improv would really add to—”

“—was it really just for the show?”

Rui’s face dropped. It was more satisfying that Tsukasa was willing to admit. “…what do you mean?”

“The way you tilted my chin,” Tsukasa said. “It was a brilliant choice! Very much in character! But… it felt like you.” If Tsukasa kept talking, he was certain his heart would burst out of his throat. “And… call me crazy, but I hope it wasn’t just for the show.”

The two stood, face-to-face, staring. Neither spoke. Neither moved. And for once, throughout this entire ordeal, Tsukasa saw Rui’s composure break. His hand covered his mouth, and his face turned a deep shade of crimson. Bashfulness looked good on him, Tsukasa thought. Rui’s piercing, yellow eyes met Tsukasa’s. It was familiar. It was the exact “cunning” way Rui had looked at him before.

Oh, wow.

“Tsukasa…” Rui mumbled. The corners of his lips quirked upward, and he laughed. Really laughed. An honest, breathless belly laugh that Tsukasa had never seen from him before. He was completely and utterly enamored by it. “I—I didn’t expect you to read me so candidly.” Rui stepped forward, taking Tsukasa’s trembling hands into his own. “You’re right. A small part of me hoped you’d notice.”

Tsukasa found himself laughing, too. “It took me longer than you know.”

This was comfortable. The both of them, equally shy and equally embarrassed. After all, if all the world was a stage, wasn’t there also a backstage? A green room? An honest moment between actors?

“Rui, can I kiss you?” Tsukasa spat the words out before he could even think about them. And, just as quickly, Rui leaned in, pressing his lips firmly against Tsukasa’s. It was awkward, and decidedly weirder than a stage kiss. But it was nice for the walls to come down. The masks were off. The audience was gone. There was only Tsukasa and Rui…

…and the familiar tickling sensation of Rui’s fingers along the contour of Tsukasa’s jaw. Tsukasa felt his lips part hopelessly into a big, goofy smile. “Wh–What are you doing?”

“Tickling you,” Rui answered. “You’re not the only perceptive one around here, my star.”

What was it called when the pit and the butterflies happened at the same time? Butterfly mosh pit?

“You noticed—AH!”

Rui’s fingers traveled down to Tsukasa’s neck, his nails dragging along either side. “Not at first, but I did notice that you never tried to stop me.” They darted wildly between the underside of his jaw and the crook of his collarbone, never staying in one place for too long. Even trying to trap Rui’s hand between his cheek and his shoulder didn’t work—his fingers could still wiggle away at his neck.

“YoHOU—! You jeheherk!!!” Tsukasa sputtered.

“Me? A jerk?” Rui feigned his best offended voice. “I thought you wanted me to do this!” Rui now had Tsukasa wrapped in his arms, trapping him between his wriggling fingers. This time, he pressed a little harder as he drilled his fingers ever-so-slightly into Tsukasa’s ribs. Tsukasa’s laugh shot up in pitch to an octave he didn’t know he could reach—and it grew even more frantic when Rui’s hands wandered to his sides instead. He couldn’t figure out what tickled more. Squeezing? Spidering? His brain was, frankly, too fuzzy to even think about it. 

“I—! D-Don’t—ahaha!!—dohon’t make me say it!”

“Say what? Say that you want me to tickle you?”

“You know what!!” 

“Do I? Surely I wouldn’t ask if I knew.” Heavens, Tsukasa wasn’t prepared for how much Rui would tease him. Each sentence seemed to be punctuated by even more tickles. No matter how Tsukasa squirmed or twisted, there was always another hand waiting for him, ready to poke at his side or claw under his arms. He could certainly say it was hell, but he’d surely be lying. The fact that Rui was giggling along with him somehow made the sensation even stronger. So, instead of trying to pull Rui’s hands away, Tsukasa simply opted to cover his own face. This seemingly only encouraged Rui to speed up. “Why are you hiding your face? Can’t I hear you giggle?”

“I—ehehe!! I’m embarrassed!”

Rui gasped. “Tsukasa? Embarrassed? What a fascinating turn of events!” Rui’s hands shot straight up to Tsukasa’s wrists as Rui just barely let his fingers graze Tsukasa’s forearms. His arms?! How was that even a spot that could be ticklish?!

Rui’s hands suddenly paused. It was quiet for a moment—much too quiet. The anticipation still wracked Tsukasa’s body. Though he didn’t quite understand why he was still twitching and giggling, he wasn’t exactly complaining. Still… he couldn’t possibly watch. As his hands rose to his eyes, Rui finally spoke.

“Hm… I wonder what happens if I—” Oh no. Tsukasa realized Rui’s were hovering over—

“DON’T YOU DARE—!” Too little, too late. Tsukasa shrieked as Rui’s fingers danced and scribbled all across his tummy.

“Oh! What an interesting discovery! I simply must know more about this spot…” At this point, Tsukasa had fully collapsed against Rui’s body. If not for being in Rui’s arms, he would have absolutely fallen to the ground. But, far too tired to fight back, Tsukasa couldn’t help but laugh away as Rui methodically mapped every bit of his torso. Knowing Rui, he’d have a nearly encyclopedic knowledge of his tickle spots after today.

And for once, Tsukasa really did feel like a star. Maybe not in the way a world-class Broadway actor would be, or a celebrity on the silver screen, but like the apple of Rui’s eye. Attention without performance felt so utterly foreign to Tsukasa—but he could get used to it, he thought.

Even as Rui lightened his touch and slowed his fingers, Tsukasa still found himself awfully ticklish at the moment. Even the slightest, unintentional movement of Rui’s hand sent him into another fit of giggles. Only after Rui removed his hands completely was Tsukasa able to really catch his breath. Though heaving, he gazed at Rui, who was wearing the dumbest grin he had ever seen. Had he not been so worn out, he would have laughed all over again. “I—I think you enjoyed doing that as much as I… um. You know.”

Rui chuckled. “I do know. As for whether I enjoyed it… open to audience interpretation,” he said with a wink.

Tsukasa sighed fondly. He gingerly took Rui’s hand in his. “Walk me home?”

“Of course, my star.”

[ridl]

Gen question what made u ship ganqing so much?

Great question! Prepare for an essay tho hhhh

I played Genshin at launch but got bored quickly and stopped before I even met Keqing or Ganyu. I learned abt their existence thru fanfics, while looking for some wlw fiction to read. “Cornerstone” in particular is a fantastic fic that was being updated at the time. The author put a lot of care and effort into treating those characters seriously, and fleshing them and their dynamic out, which the game generally fails at.

Their dynamic just instantly captivated me. The way they went from being at odds, with their clashing beliefs, to reaching a mutual understanding. To caring abt each other. And it was never just pure hate, but something much more complicated and nuanced.

Back then it was just voicelines abt each other, and both characters had barely any screentime in general, but it was interesting enough of a basis. I started playing again, missed Ganyu's og banner but was lucky to win my 50/50 on Keqing's once-in-a-lifetime limited banner lmao. And the more I learned about them, the more I liked them.

I not only love ganqing, but I also love both characters individually, their personality, story, design, gameplay, they somehow just have everything that’s interesting and appeals to me.

Keqing is the Yuheng of the Qixing, meaning one of the leaders of the country, approved by Rex Lapis. She’s very pro humanity and believes that humans should fare for themselves, rather than rely on the archon. Not many ppl dare to think this, much less say it to Morax's dragon-adeptus face during the rite of descension. So she’s seen as controversial and disrespectful, and Ganyu as a devoted follower who worked closely with Rex Lapis for thousands of years just doesn’t understand Keqing. Rex Lapis absolutely approves of Keqing’s belief, and Ganyu cannot comprehend it no matter how much she respects and trusts him. It’s a very interesting conflict, that eventually gets resolved, giving us the basis of their potential romantic relationship.

Keqing and Ganyu are both very devoted to Liyue, so they’re both similar but also different. They complement each other. Keqing with her modern approach, quick and efficient, straightforward and bold. Ganyu with her old approach, with her opinions and strength hidden, not very straightforward. A confident human who knows what she’s about, and half-qilin that feels lost between the two worlds. But after Morax’s passing, they manage to find understanding, they go thru character development now just in terms of their relationship, but also them individually, and in relation to Morax. They can change each other too. They can learn so much together, from each other. Keqing how to be more patient and deal with uncertainities, while Ganyu how to be bolder, voice her opinions more and just live more for herself.

Ganyu is no longer bound by her contract, but she remains with the humans. She’s working alongside Keqing, in this new human era of Liyue. And while their limited screentime is locked behind time-limited events, it really shows that change, it shows how they care about each other. It shows Keqing’s relations with the adepti and how interesting it is considering her beliefs, and especially with Ganyu’s mother figure.

You could technically just sum them up in popular tropes like “enemies to friends to lovers”, "mortal x immortal" or “opposites attract”, but I think it’s so much deeper than that. I find ganqing's relationship very interesting and unique bc of their personalities, relations with each other and other ppl as well as their country, the setting, their stories, their identities, the conflict and character development they go through.

The game only gives us crumbs, but it also gives so much space and potential for this pairing. It’s never fully explained how it all changed between Ganyu’s voiceline how she started understanding Keqing a little, and their interactions in moonchase/lantern rites, where they’re clearly on very good terms. But I think that’s fine. It gives us freedom to truly flesh them out. Genshin’s storytelling is pretty crappy in the first place lol, so I think it’s cool to just take the interesting ideas, and make something much greater out of it.

And if you’re interested, ganqing related links:

Some fic recs (limited to canon setting): - (Chuminder has written 4 fics that are technically seperate, but they work very well as a series so i recommend this order) Blue the Color of a Goodnight, Cornerstone, Taproot, Passage - Heartbeat of the world - In the wake of - She, with the scent of flowers and lightning - A Better, Brighter Light

My chaotic compilation of bigger and smaller crumbs, including some stuff abt those characters individually:

It’s just things I find interesting, or that could be used in describing their dynamic and relationship, or just official images. They’re underrated characters, both by the fandom and the game itself imo.

Also an excellent thread, with similar idea and better screenshots (lol) i saw on twitter: https://twitter.com/gqlovebot/status/1672183539973111808

[thenightling]

DO NOT BUY THIS EDITION OF FRANKENSTEIN! This is a sexist and ignorant dog whistle and as a fan of the actual Frankenstein novel, I am furious.

1. First there is the false implication that Percy Shelley co-wrote Frankenstein. He did not. In fact Mary Shelley revised the 1818 text in 1831. That's AFTER Percy's Death.

This sexism was brought to you by such "reliable" books as "The Man who wrote Frankenstein" which was written by a very sexist conspiracy theorist who once claimed that AIDS was spread through pills. That conspiracy theorist used dummy accounts to positively review his self-published books on Amazon (seriously, go check if you want) and his main reason for believing Mary Shelley didn't really write Frankenstein is his claim that she was "uneducated."

Percy wasn't a novelist. He was a poet. Mary Shelley actually wrote many novels after Frankenstein, it's just that none were as successful as Frankenstein. Just because she wrote her greatest novel while her husband was alive doesn't mean her husband secretly wrote it.

He also claimed a woman cannot have written a man's perspective so well and she wrote from the perspective of three men. Victor Frankenstein, The Creature, and Captain Walton.

By that same reasoning Stan Rice must have written Interview with The Vampire, not Anne. It's a sexist and classist equivalent of the classist conspiracy theories that Shakespeare couldn't have written Shakespeare because he was "Too poor and ill-educated" to have been that creative.

2. One big problem with novels like Frankenstein and Dracula being in the public domain is anyone can re-publish them any way they want, even with this sleezy and misleading presentation.

3. Frankenstein wasn't really a science fiction novel even though Google and this blurb claim it is. Frankenstein, the novel, never warned about the advancement of technology.

There's no hard science in the book. Victor wasn't studying biology. He was studying metaphysics and he never graduated.

(Metaphysics degrees aren't even currently recognized in the US. You can only get an honorary one from institutions like ULC).

Victor found the secret of life while reading the works of Agrippa and Paracelsus. A self-proclaimed sorcerer and alchemist.

The Creature is more like a Dungeons and Dragons Flesh Golem with a soul than what you see in most of the movies.

Its main morals and themes had nothing to do with "Playing God" or "the advancement of science." No. That overly exonerates Victor Frankenstein and those The Creature interacted with. Victor's main crime was rejecting his creation as soon as he came to life, which may have been a metaphor for what we today call Postpartum depression.

The themes were about parental responsibility, the futility of revenge, and the need to forgive.

If you have a shred of integrity or respect for women do NOT buy this edition of Frankenstein that falsely credits Percy Shelley and feels like it was being described by someone who only watched the 1931 movie. (The more accurate to the book film adaptation is the 2004 Hallmark mini-series version starring Luke Goss as The Creature.) If you want a good edition of Frankenstein, I strongly recommend the 1831 version republished with Bernie Wrightson's gorgeous illustrations accompanying it. That one is exceptional and respectful to Mary Shelley without falsely crediting Percy Shelley.

Here's the blurb that was attached to the awful edition:

"That’s right, the very first science fiction novel is also a work of transhumanism, though I’m not sure Mary Shelley would have used the term. After all, the monster wouldn’t even exist without technology. So even the earliest sci-fi novel was trying to warn us about the dangers technology poses to our humanity."

[squirmhoney]

TOP FICTION MEN

I thought to myself, I’ve never shared with you guys my top men in fiction. Like you know the ones I write about but I thought this would be a great way to interact with you guys and you can share with me who else you guys like and other fandoms you like.

In order (you may be surprised about this) my top men in fiction:

1. Hvitserk - Vikings (2013 - 2020)

You guys are probably surprised to not find Aegon on top here or someone I write about but yes. I have watched Vikings since I was a teenager and when all of Ragnar’s sons came on the show after the time jump I was like 😏 can’t lie. Hvitserk has my heart and if there was a man like him in real life, he would be my soul mate I believe.

2. Aegon Targaryen - House of Dragon (2022 - present)

My man, my man, my man. Yeah he’s definitely fighting for my number 1 spot I can’t lie and you know I don’t even need to explain myself on this one.

3. Rafe Cameron - Outer Banks (2020 - present)

Of course, he had to be up here. I like them unhinged clearly, as you’ll see by the list, they’re all very unhinged characters. No explanation needed for that one, you can see the fics I have written

4. Geto Suguru - Jujutsu kaisen (manga/also anime)

He is definitely my main JJK character fave. I’m not going to add all of the others to the list and where I place them because they’re so many. I literally love them all. But I’m defo more obsessed with the ones that are once again unhinged, Naoya Zenin, Toji Fushiguro and Sukana. Clearly if you follow my reblog page @squirmreblogs you will see the endless fics I reblog about them.

5. Dick Grayson - DC Comics

My love for Dick started through tumblr then kind of grew from the netflix series. I'm obsessed with him honestly however this really comes and goes.

6. Aemond Targaryen - House of Dragon (2022 - present)

You guys are probably like why is he so far down. I love him, I do but I just obsess over Aegon way more. I feel like this will fire up again when house of dragon season 2 starts again. Trust me on this.

7. Ubbe - Vikings (2013 - 2020)

I’m honestly not going to lie to you guys, I’m still not sure why I prefer Hvitserk over his brothers but I do. But my gentle caring Ubbe is still up there and I just think in my head, he's mean in bed. But gives you the best after care.

8. Billy Russo - The Punisher (2017 - 2019)

I never really even got into the series and I only watched a few episodes way after it ended. But I started reading fics about him and this is where my love for dark fics started.

9. Jason Todd - DC Comics

This for me has only come through tumblr. In the series on netflix he is super young and the actor is young as well. I way prefer just in the comics when he's like red hood.

10. Ivar - Vikings (2013 - 2020)

My last one on my list. I loved him in the series but I could never get over him killing his wife Freydis and his son. But I loved his relationship with Igor and he redeemed himself there. Genuinely for me one of the biggest heartbreaks when Ivar has to leave him.

-

So yes that’s my list. There are way more. Clearly I have a type in men that needs to be seriously evaluated but yeah if you want, share with me who else you like.

[darklinaforever]

NETTLES AND DAEMON RELATIONSHIP !

This article is both based on my personal opinions and also those of :

- arabian-bloodstream

- theroguedragon3

- horizon-verizon

- the-king-andthe-lionheart

From which I took the liberty of taking certain things, simply because it summarizes very well what i thought.

Here, I am about to dismantle all the things seen in a romantic way in the relationship of Nettles and Daemon ! Hope you enjoy and share my opinion, and be polite if you ever want to give your opinion / add something ! (Warning, you are free to like whatever you want. If you think Nettles and Daemon is a sexual and romantic relationship and you like it, great, but then this article is not for you)

Good reading !

1) Mushroom said it ! (And Glyadyn supports his version !)

Lol, that's really persuasive.

Mushroom is literally the most unreliable source out there, precisely because it tends to make everything salacious, or prefer sordid stories.

Yes, the fictional writer of the book gives credence to Mushroom's version here, but it should not be forgotten that Glyadyn did not attend the events recounted, making up his mind only through biased texts, and above all, the dude is a pure product of his time, misogynist with his own prejudices that would inevitably lead him to believe that Nettles and Daemon were lovers, even if, as he himself says, there is no real proof of that.

Not to mention that he also gave credit to Laenor being killed by Daemon, when there's no evidence for that either, and the very idea is frankly stupid if you look at it. (I did an article on this, as many others have looked into the matter)

There are also other credible claims from Mushroom, which were ignored by Glyadyn. Like Rhaenyra being already pregnant with Daemon at the time of the wedding, or Corlys being Addam and Aryn's biological father. The author doesn't offer an opinion on these things, much less a positive / valid opinion, and that doesn't preclude them from being the most likely facts.

2) There are four / five sources that suggest Daemon and Nettles were lovers !

There are admittedly, about four / five "sources", which suggest / say that Daemon and Nettles were lovers. Except that it must be remembered that these sources are all based on the first, namely that of Mushroom, and that the vast majority of accounts were biased against Rhaenyra, and wanted to portray her and her camp negatively. And if a supposedly "legitimate" source such as Rhaenyra's Court Mushroom claimed that Nettles was Daemon's lover, well, that was surely true. Is not it ? After all, given Daemon's (previous, but tenacious) reputation, it would fit rather well (long live prejudices...), it doesn't matter that Mushroom, the first to have suggested this love affair between Nettles and Daemon, has always predominantly gendered the stories he told, in addition to favoring the most sordid tales. Surely, their affair must be true! And so other accounts followed suit. After all, when you hear something repeated over and over again, it catches on (especially if it's crisp, in a society full of misogyny and prejudice). However, that doesn't make it true, it just makes it a story told often enough for it to become true.

3) Daemon taught Nettles how to stand, eat, style, dress and wash properly !

So, personally, I find that it really resembles the behavior of an educator / mentor, or even, one could say, outright paternalistic, since the role of mentor is often associated with the father in fiction. And that's good, since Maester Norren, who actually witnessed the interactions of the two dragon riders, describes Daemon being crazy about Nettles as a father would be about his daughter / girl.

4) Daemon and Nettles had adjourned rooms, and they ate breakfast and dinner together !

Yes. So what ? For the chambers, it just shows that Daemon particularly loved Nettles, enough to keep her close to him. Which makes sense, if he did indeed take on a fatherly affection / mentorship for her, taking her under his wing as a result. So there's nothing particularly weird / wacky about Daemon keeping her close. At least, if he was the one who asked their guests for adjoining rooms in the first place. One thing we can't be sure of. Indeed, we were able to give them to them as soon as they arrived. Not to mention that, if it was Daemon who claimed the adjoining rooms, he could very well have done so because he and Nettles didn't know anyone else in Harrenhal, wanting to keep closeness for comfort, as well (mainly) as a certain feeling / assurance of security. Because yes, I remember that they were in time of war, or it was good / wise to be wary of everyone. That the only two riders present make sure to stay as close as possible to plan for any eventuality, makes sense. (I personally vote for this last option)

As for breakfast and shared dinner, it's all the same. They, again, very well could have done it out of the comfort of not knowing anyone else. That, or so, is something that came later in their relationship, after he actually took her under his wing. Which I think makes the most sense, because it's impossible to think that Nettles and Daemon never had dinner with the Lord of Harrenhal. Also, Nettles was Daemon's partner in the active pursuit of Aemond and Vaghar, thus leading the two to spend their days together with their dragons, hence the closeness and deepening of their relationship. So it also makes sense that they end up having dinner and breakfast together in this context, especially if Daemon has come to adore him like a father to his daughter/girl. It's a fairly standard situation for two people who must coexist / spend their time with each other, and end up appreciating / loving (platonically) each other.

None of this is inherently romantic or sexual.

5) Daemon gave gifts to Nettles ! / It's like when he gave gifts to Rhaenyra ! / Daemon is only shown giving gifts to Rhaenyra and Nettles !

First of all, I would like to point out that there are nevertheless various and varied reasons for giving gifts to someone, and that Fire and Blood is a biased history book, not a novel that will allow us to see the detailed life of the characters. So you would have me believe, on the pretext that it wasn't explicitly named in the book, that Daemon never gave gifts to Laena or his own daughters and sons? That only Rhaenyra and Nettles ever got gifts from her ? (Do you realize how ridiculous this probability is ?)

Then, the gifts of Daemon to Nettles and those offered to Rhaenyra, have in fact nothing to do.

Here are Rhaenyra's gifts named (although it is known that she received others from Daemon during her youth), are : Pearls, silk, books, and a jade diadem believed to have belonged to Empress of Leng.

As for Nettles' gifts (the only ones we know of), they are : An ivory-handled hairbrush, a silver mirror, a rich brown velvet coat lined with satin, and a pair of boots riding shoes in butter-soft leather.

Rhaenyra's gifts are exuberant, sometimes even useless, - pearls, silk - very much like gifts one would give purely and simply to please, - books - even to woo someone - jade diadem. It is important to remember that by the time Rhaenyra received these gifts, well she had indeed reached marriageable age. Not only did Daemon give Rhaenyra gifts, but they also did a lot of activities together. Such as dinner, so far nothing suspicious you might say, but he also sailed with her, hunted with her ; entertained her by making fun of the Greens, characterized as suckers, flattering Queen Alicent and her children. He also read poetry to her and praised her beauty, declaring her to be the most beautiful woman in all the Seven Kingdoms and they also began flying together almost daily, racing Syrax against Caraxes to Dragonstone back and forth. In itself, a classic behavior of courtship for the feudal era which inspired GRRM.

As for Nettles, besides the obvious preciousness of the gifts, the fact that Daemon is a prince, notice how practical they seem above all else ? (besides the fact that Dameon is never named as doing tons of fun stuff with Nettles as with Rhaenyra)

From what we know of Nettles, she was a wildling who had nothing, and whom Daemon taught manners, such as how to dress, sit, brush her hair, and wash herself. The gifts he gave her seem to fit perfectly into this framework.

He taught her how to do her hair and dress properly ? Brush, mirror, coat and boots.

Things, again, above all practical and related to what he taught him (so when he was in a mentoring role), which undeniably could help improve Nettles' life, which began, remember, and mostly took place in poverty.

We therefore absolutely cannot say that Daemon would have spoiled Nettles, as he would have spoiled Rhaenyra. Nor even that the gifts he gave her have a fundamentally romantic aspect.

6) Daemon took baths with Nettles !

Yes, it's true. Except this aspect isn't portrayed in a sexual/salacious or romantic sense, or even with insinuations of that kind of relationship between the two. That is to say that the baths are therefore not described here by Mushroom, or by Maester Eustace. (Two unreliable sources, often questioned) The baths are actually reported by Maester Norren, who describes the relationship of the two riders as paternalistic, in a context where Daemon actually taught Nettles how to bathe properly.

Also, we have no idea of the actual frequencies of their bathing together. The maids are the ones who said Daemon "often" shared a tub with Nettles, which could actually be both everything and nothing. "Often" does not mean "always". So there are cases where Daemon didn't take a bath with Nettles.

In such a context, where the information is reported by servants, we must therefore ask ourselves what "often" exactly means here. Was it really a daily thing, as some like to think ? Or did it only happen once, twice, or even three times ?

That would be more than enough for Nettles to learn how to clean himself, but it would only take one time for the rumors to spread. The sight would be alarming for women and girls who have learned not to be too close to noble / royal men, for fear, precisely, of attracting the attention of bad lords (like Aegon II, notorious rapist for example). Not to mention that the work of servants / maids in castles is particularly monotonous and difficult. So, what better subject of conversation and pleasure than a prince having a close relationship with a girl of low birth ? The servants wouldn't talk / gossip / or exaggerate the subject ? (Answer : Of course they would. It's inevitable)

Also, let's keep in mind that it is very rare for an individual to find himself sexually attracted to a person whom he has personally taught to wash properly / have a proper personal hygiene - lifestyle.

I am now going to present to you a specific example of fantasy, showing two characters, a man and a woman, sharing a bath together in a purely platonic way. These are the characters of Moiraine and Lan in the series "The Wheel of Time" in episode 1. Moiraine is an aes sedai, and Lan is her champion. The two share a magical bond said to be stronger than between parents/children, brothers/sisters, husbands/wives, lovers, friends, etc. It is a link beyond all others. So, you surely/probably think that sex (just like me at first) is not involved in such type of relationship. Nevertheless, it is proven in the series that sexual attraction and intercourse can exist between aes sedai and their champions. Proof of this is that Alanna, an aes sedai, practices threesomes with her two champions, Maksim and Ihvon, the latter forming a relationship based on respect and mutual love. To return to the shared bath of Moiraine and Lan, it should be noted that the latter is bisexual. Indeed, she is currently in love with another aes sedai named Siuan, and in the books Moiraine ends up married to Thom. As for Lan, the latter seems to be straight, and will end up falling in love with a woman named Nynaeve. Lan and Moiraine have no particular excuse for taking a bath together, and given their attitude, it's certainly not the first time they've done it. They could also very well have washed one after the other, because Moiraine can literally heat the water, thanks to her magic. Besides, if we had to characterize the relationship of Moiraine and Lan, it would be quite filial, like a brother and a sister. However, see that it did not prevent them from taking baths together.

Once again, it's important, not everyone has the same type of modesty, or the same notion of nudity. I have always said it, and will always support it, nudity does not equal sex. Daemon being, we know, an unconventional man, and Nettles, a girl who has essentially always lived on the streets, I doubt that the two of them necessarily associate nudity with sex as a result.

7) Daemon may or may not have shared a bed with Nettles !

First, why maybe ?

Because there is doubt about it, especially because of these dialogues :

“This thing is easily done,” said the captain of his guard. “The prince sleeps beside her, but he has grown old. Three men should be enough to subdue him should he try to interfere, but I will take six to be certain. Does my lord wish this done tonight ?”

“Six men or sixty, he is still Daemon Targaryen,” Lord Mooton’s brother objected. “A sleeping draft in his evening wine would be the wiser course. Let him wake to find her dead.”

“The queen has forbidden any harm to come to him,” Lord Mooton reminded them, “and murdering two guests in their beds is twice as foul as murdering one. I should be doubly cursed.”

Already, it is important to specify that the language and the formulation used by the author does not make it possible to be certain of anything. The guard, for example, doesn't say that Daemon sleeps "with" Nettles, but "beside her", which admittedly may suggest that they actually sleep together, but which could also simply refer to the adjoining rooms. that they share. The "Let him wake up to find her dead" quote is also not a fundamental indication that he is sleeping with Nettles. Whether or not Daemon sleeps with her, if she is killed, well he will indeed awaken to find her dead. Let's not forget either "their beds" in the plural, used by the lord of Harrenhal which would indicate that Nettles and Daemon actually sleep separately, but which could just as well be a simple expression.

It's also possible, out of sheer prejudice against Daemon's close relationship with Nettles, that the captain of the guard, and others, possibly even the Lord of Harrenhal himself, think that they sleep in the same bed. This could precisely result from the affair of the baths in particular.

However, some argue that it is impossible for Daemon not to sleep with Nettles, as the lord and the guards are afraid to attack her and have to face Daemon's wrath as they try to pass. to action, are; let him intervene. So the only explanation for such fear would be that Daemon would sleep directly in Nettles' bed, or she in his, of which they would be absolutely sure. And yes, I agree, it is quite plausible.

Moreover, we are still sure of people who think that sixty men facing a 49-year-old Daemon Targaryen barely emerging from his sleep, it is not a safe bet. A bit exaggerated anyway you will tell me, especially when you take into account the fact that Daemon is no longer very young. So, would it be so crazy that they were afraid to attack Nettles, even though Daemon was in the next room? Because yes, therefore he sleeps well next to her. I remind you that Daemon is literally the best warrior of his time, therefore he would surely be able to wake up to the slightest possibly suspicious noise, even from those that would emanate from Nettles' room. Especially since their rooms are only separated by a door. So imagine if this one had the misfortune to be open !

So, no, the conversation between the Lord of Harrenhal, his people, and the guards doesn't give any certainty about whether or not Nettles and Daemon share a bed. It seems that the author wanted to play with our nerves to the end and blur even this simple conversation, that is to say...

Now, I see you coming, even if Daemon and Nettles shared a bed, that wouldn't mean that they would have slept together, or had a romantic relationship. Truly. It's not a formal indication. Especially, once again, if we take into account the fact that we are in a medieval setting. Context is very important.

Here, Nettles and Daemon are far from anyone they know, and they're in a stone castle with probably some drafts. What weather is it ? Is it cold ? At the time, castles could be very cold, especially since there was no heating. In fact, it was common to sleep in the same bed as others to stay warm, but also simply for company. We see this in the same universe as Fire and Blood for the ASOIAF saga, starring Margaery Tyrell. She has many companions, with whom she shares her bed every night. They do this for warmth, companionship, but also to make sure the lady they serve is "chaste" and not entertaining men in her bed. Now, I grant you, Daemon is a man, so it's not really the same thing. But we must remember that Nettles and Daemon are once again alone with each other. They do not have their own household with them or other companions. So whether or not they might have shared a bed, it certainly could have been completely innocent, with the two wanting/seeking companionship and warmth.

We also need to consider the possibility that they were simply vigilant and proactive. If they shared a bed, they may have done so because one or both of them felt unsafe. Which is, once again, quite logical during a war. It is not so difficult for them to think that we would seek to target them, as dragon riders, in a situation where they are not precisely close to their dragons, therefore in a more vulnerable context, like in their rooms, at rest, for example. It's quite logical.

Not to mention that we have no idea of the size of the beds in Harrenhal, which also changes the context. And I tend to think that their beds were anything but small and cramped forcing them to be stuck tight together.

8) Daemon is said to have harmed the people of Harrenhal if they touched Nettles !

Yes. And ? Is this supposed to be proof of ultimate romance ? If Daemon has come to love Nettles platonically / paternally, it makes just as much sense that his wrath would descend on Harrenhal if ever harm was done to him.

Question : If you found out that someone you platonically love had been killed, and you had a dragon at your disposal that obeyed you... what would you do? Eh ? Don't tell me you wouldn't want to use it to punish the murderers in question. (especially in a world where no consequences will fall on you)

9) All joy leaves Daemon's eyes as he reads Nettles' execution letter, by Rhaenyra !

You know, here Daemon might as well get sad because the girl he took under his wing and formed a strong and close bond with, is accused of treason and ordered executed for something she did not commit, by his wife / queen whom he loves and who in passing questions his own loyalty and fidelity, when he is also innocent.

10) The Persian cry of Caraxes !

When Daemon watches Nettles leave, after the latter has sent him away to save her from Rhaenyra's execution order, Caraxes roars and smashes all the windows of Jonquil Tower. Clearly, Caraxes' roar is a reaction to Daemon's feelings at the time, which he remains stoic, not moving or saying a word. But then again, that's not fundamental evidence of a romance between them either. Doubt is always allowed. If Daemon developed a deep platonic bond with Nettles, coming to regard her as one of his daughters, knowing that he had been away from his own children for an extremely long time, and with whom he had always lived, well, he makes sense that Caraxes would express Daemon's pain so viscerally at seeing Nettles leave. Imagine the pain of losing a child again. Because yes, at this point Daemon has lost not only his unborn daughter, his stepsons, and he believes his second biological son, being estranged for a long time from the rest of his children. Again, Daemon found himself in a situation where it was totally and easily possible for him to quickly go crazy for Nettles like a man would for his daughter. This option, posed by the author himself, is not improbable. Not only that, but imagine having to part ways (essentially forever) with that girl you now call yours, because your wife/queen whom you love dearly basically accuses you of infidelity with her, while you you're both innocent. Inevitably, strong emotions levels, it must go. Also, at the time Daemon watches Nettles leave, we don't know what's going on in his head, or even what he was thinking/feeling precisely at that moment. To claim otherwise is a mistake. If that is it is a mixture of several thoughts and emotions which crossed it and finally made crack Caraxes at this time there. In sum, the departure of Nettles would have been only the ultimate breaking point to other painful events experienced by Daemon. So it's not necessarily romantic either. Some argue that it is, since the tower whose windows Caraxes broke bears the name "Jonquil", a girl known in the ASOIAF universe to have had a great romance, and who aptly gives her name to the round. However, the tower itself is not a symbol of love. People were literally locked up there as prisoners. The symbol of love, in relation to Jonquil, is the swimming pool where she and her lover first met. Not the tower then.

11) Daemon affectionately called Nettles ; Nettie.

So... sorry to break your dreams, but that sounds a lot like the nickname a parent would give their child, not the nickname a man would give his lover.

12) This is a clear and voluntary parallel of the Jaime and Brienne relationship !

George confirmed that he did not draw any parallels, at least intentionally, between the characters of Fire and Blood and those of his main saga, because he wanted to avoid repeating himself.

13) Large age differences are common in feudal times !

Certainly. But GRRM has never romantically or positively portrayed relationships with such a wide age gap as Nettles and Daemon. Just compare this to the relationships of Jorah & Dany, and Jon Arryn & Lysa Tully to realize this. They have absolutely nothing positive, let alone romantic. In fact, one can strongly question the so-called undeniable romantic aspect of the Nettles and Daemon relationship. But we can even doubt the negative aspect, which some try to stick to Daemon through the terms "abuse" and "grooming", for the relationship of the two dragon riders. Already, simply because of the feudal context, but also because Daemon is supposed to be a morally gray character, and not a villain, in addition to being the author's favorite. So are we supposed to believe that GRRM's favorite character, the ultimate gray character in this story, essentially a Byronic hero archetype, also the older of the two individuals, is going to have this type of negative / unhealthy relationship ?!

[red-hot-kick]

I don't really know how to articulate this in a way that won't make someone somewhere very upset so I'm just going to go about this in the way I normally would: as Directly as possible.

I have to set some boundaries when it comes to my art.

For everyone with busy lives, here's the short version: If you believe, in any capacity, that you literally are any of the characters I frequently draw, and/or if you know yourself to be prone to taking fanworks a little too personally (meaning: to the point of causing considerable distress when a work is not compliant with your perceptions), please either keep it to yourself or block me. I mean that.

...Everybody else, strap in for the long version:

I don't know what any of you mean anymore when you say you "kin" a character. Not long ago, if you used the word "kinning" on the internet (ie. elfinkin(d), otherkin, fictionkin, etc.) you were most likely (with a few exceptions) talking about a very specific experience. I'm talking "compulsively eating your mother's jewelry because you're a dragonkin, and dragons hoard and eat rare gems, obviously" type stuff. Not "closet-cosplaying to school as your favorite anime character because you really really relate to/admire them". Those are fundamentally two different things. So why are we using the same term for them?

(...It was a huge mistake to come up with the word "kinnie" as a cutesy nickname, in my honest opinion.)

Now, the definition is too broad, too diluted. Now, if I see that word in a bio or a tag...I legitimately don't know what to expect. Someone could mean that they relate to the characters' plights and stories, or that they aspire to be like them and want to emulate them in their day-to-day life. Maybe they RP the character and (for some reason) don't know of any other terms to use.

...They could also mean that it is their firmly held belief that they are THE Yusuke Kitagawa in the flesh, or that Ryuji himself is beaming his consciousness into their brain from an alternate plane, or that Futaba periodically hacks into their body to speak through them, and so on.

And if the latter examples sound similar to your experience, then buddy, I don't wanna know about it. I have no goddamn business being privy to anyone's mental landscape on this big beautiful internet.

(I do want you to find a licensed clinician if you have the resources to safely do so, though. Sincerely.)

I don't want to be told that I'm not depicting "you" accurately (a thing that has happened!). I also don't want to be held responsible for accidentally hitting upon triggers that I could never anticipate, because of a stranger internalizing a character (voluntarily or not) so deeply into their personhood that a comic/fic/drawing exploring that character's canon in ways that make them uncomfortable can prompt a panic attack or a fit of rage or similar distress responses (a thing that I've been scolded by strangers over! Multiple times, even!). I also ABSOLUTELY don't want anyone to message me as a fictional character to tell me what they think of my art, or to tell me that they look to my art for things to build their personality around (which is also a thing that has happened. Are you seeing a trend?)

In all these scenarios, each person neglected to consider that I'm not a source of new "kin material"! I'm just some fucking guy, screwing around on the internet just like everyone else!

I'm not going to presume the legitimacy of any strangers' mental health status (access to mental healthcare can be next to impossible, I know), nor am I one to criticize how anyone engages with the things they like. However. Please remember that every interaction you have is a two-way street. Artists aren't content farms; they are your fellow fans.

When someone comments or tags my art to say "this is me", or "you drew me wrong", or "I would never do/say that", or that the material made them miserable or angry and that they "hate OP for making it"...I have to see that. It's only happened a handful of times. But that was enough to make me wonder with every kin-adjacent tag I see: Is this another person that feels entitlement or ownership over what I make? Is this another person I should expect comments of disappointment or aggression from if I make something that they disagree with? Do you think that I'm doing any of this for you?

[otakuworks]

❛ 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆.

i commend your sharp eyes for noticing the linked part, unless you found this because you're early, but still, enjoy!

<< PART 3

". . . And they lived happily ever after. The End!"

A chorus of querulous whines reverberated in the small classroom as the children began to inquire what happened afterwards.

"Did they ever reincarnate again?"

"Is the man still immortal? What happened to him?"

"What was causing their reincarnation?"

"Teacher, we need more!"

Everyone is up on their feet, desperately catching the attention of the instructor, but not everyone share the same sentiment. A young child seated at the very back of the class frowned at the sight of the crowd gathered at the very front.

They weren't particularly a fan of crowd as it has been causing them anxiety because of their lack of social skills.

They, too, badly want to inquire a few questions to the teacher as the short story 'See You Later' greatly piqued their curiosity.

Out of all stories, why that? Children stories are mostly fun and interactive, some can even pick a few moral lesson. But this? They can't wrap their mind of what benefit they can get from romance.

Children are listening to this, they need to learn anything but romance at their age. Sure there's a lot of stories that has romance in it, but it doesn't entirely revolve in that genre.

Like what? A love story between a simple villager and a dragon? How does that even make sense? At least Princess and the Frog has more narrative context behind the Frog Prince.

What a trash story that starts with Hello and not once upon a time

"Hello!" A yelp escaped their lips as they fixated their eyes on another child with soft amber eyes, he was subtly smiling and they can immediately tell he's being sincere to spark a conversation which greatly baffles them.

As the quiet kid in class, some have tried to ignite a topic to discuss but nothing seemed to interest them so they prefer solitude over nonsensical exchange of words.

It's not the kids fault if they find them boring to talk with, and they wouldn't have it the other way around. But this boy is so bright it nearly blinded them.

[ source: pinterest. pls comment if you know the artist so i can credit them ]

Before they can say something, the child spoke again, "I just want to say hi since I don't really see anyone talking to you, that must have been lonely." Children are indeed brutally honest.

They huffed, "I'm not lonely. I like it better this way."

His ardor countenance didn't falter and sat beside them.

"Do you really? I can't imagine someone seeking to be alone everytime, you gotta at least talk to somebody."

"I'm talking to you, is that enough?"

"Nope! I noticed how you were staring. Do you have questions?"

"What about you? Everyone's eager to get answered." They motioned at the rambunctious individuals.

"I do, but I basically know the full detail of the story so I don't really have to ask anything." He smiled sheepishly.

". . . You do? Then you must know the reason behind their curse?"

"The reborn stuff? I don't know, the story didn't specify anything."

"You said you have questions too. What are they?"

He blinked surreptitiously, his gaze landing on the window pass their shoulders, "I only wonder if the story is based on true events." Their eyebrows shot at his deep curiosity.

"It could be fictional, or just another legend. I heard the story is the oldest and most famous folklore in the modern world, so it's mostly filtered with different versions throughout the generation."

"Yeah. . . probably. I mean, there isn't even an author."

*RING* *RING* *RING*

The children scampered from the bell and a few of them conveyed their disappointment loudly by whining incessantly.

The boy stood up from the seat and held out his hand for you, "I forgot to introduce myself earlier. My name is Zhongli."

As they blinked at his hand, they meekly muttered their name.

"Huh? I didn't hear you."

"My name is Y/N." They shake his hand.

"Oh! That's a cool name. Let's be friends from now on!"

Friends. What a foreign concept to them for there isn't a day that passed without them distancing from everyone.

Zhongli hauled his backpack and smiled cheekily, "I think we have different class after this, but we can see each other later at lunch."

"Yeah. . . that sounds good."

"Great! I'll see you later, Y/N!" He waved before sprinting out of the classroom as everyone dispersed leaving you standing in the almost empty classroom.

"See you later, Zhongli."

[everlasting-rainfall]

-Headcanons about the Figarland Family-

Hey so this is me having come up with some bullshit that I use to further think up scenarios about an OC of mine known as Esther and her relationship with Figarland Garling

I figured that I would post them just for fun also just to clarify something, I DO NOT AND WILL NEVER CONDONE THE ACTIONS OF ANY CELESTIAL DRAGON

I might love Garling and I understand that the man is an absolute horrid human being like honestly if I wasn’t so sure that I would die then I would try to take his ass out if I saw him in real life but I can’t fight him so I’ll just run

In fiction world though, I wouldn��t mind if he forced me to stand at the altar and say I Do while wearing a white dress…

If you have any problems with that then please just scroll on by…

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AT ALL-!

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

Death, Execution, Celestial Dragons, SPOILER WARNING, Kidnapping, Yandere, Forced Pregnancy,

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AT ALL-!

CENSORED BECAUSE TRIGGERS AND CHARACTER SPOILERS

-The Figarland Family is not only known for their status and power alongside Garling being a champion but because they make incredibly powerful warriors

-But not only that, they make a lot of incredibly talented weapons smiths as well like I have an OC named Berkley who is Garling’s brother and he’s an incredibly skilled weapon smith

-The stuff that has come out of the more weapon smithing members of the family is quite impressive like they’re incredibly high end and don’t allow just anyone to have them

-Typically the really good weapons are handed to the fighters of the family while the not so great weapons are what’s given to people outside the family

-The Figarland Family has quite a few hunting/guard dogs like they’re all Tibetan Mastiff’s and they are some of the scariest and most terrifying dogs you will ever see

-People have legit horror stories about those things calling them hellhounds and things like it’s rare to meet a person in the holy land who don’t know about those things

-They are well trained, well groomed, well cared for, and know exactly how to mess you up

-No one knows that if you’re a member of the Figarland Family then these guys are total sweethearts, they enter serious mode whenever there’s a visitor or they’re outside or they have specific orders to be in serious mode

-They have a leader too and it’s a little Pomeranian that all of the Tibetan Mastiff’s listen to like these dogs stand at attention the second that the Pom barks in a specific way

-The Pom is an old dog but it’s not to be messed with and it’s been seen legit herding the mastiff’s like they’re a bunch of sheep

-Garling didn’t see the point of the Pom when he was younger and disrespected it once… Don’t ask what happened but know that he now knows that the Pom is very important and whatever you do, never mention his leg scar…

-The Dogs typically get very protective around the younger members of the family like there’s an old picture of Shanks (I subscribe to the idea that Garling is Shanks Dad) as a baby cuddled up with one of the dogs

-They also are the best friends of any Yandere members of the family as they’ll go serious mode and watch over the Darling when the Yandere isn’t around

-Garling spends at least an hour in front of the mirror every morning doing his hair, it’s even longer when he’s older and has the beard

-It’s a hairstyle that the men of the family share like if Shanks grew up around them then it’s very likely that he would have eventually been made to grow his hair out and adopt the hairstyle that his father and all the other men do

-The women of the family don’t have to do it and are pretty much allowed to wear their hair however they want just so long as it’s not like even something that the person with the weirdest hairstyle would find weird like I’m talking styling your hair into branches and hanging ornaments off of it

-Garling despite having a lot of celestial dragon bitches in love with him has absolutely no interest in any of them like he gets at least five love letters a day but he typically gets rid of them

-He has no interest in them and he doesn’t intend to have interest anytime soon as when he eventually falls in love, he wants that to be the one

-The one he dates, the one he marries, the one he makes birth his children, the one he stays loyal to

-That’s the one that he’ll personally pursue and he doesn’t give a shit what status they are as he’ll take them and just keep them in his home, they’ll never leave him and he’ll make sure of that

-This man is a natural born Yandere and I can’t be convinced otherwise…

-So as a result, Shanks mother/Garling’s spouse is still locked up in the house and not allowed to leave unless she’s accompanied by Garling himself or another family member but only if it’s an emergency

-Besides his S/O, Garling currently lives alone at the Figarland House like it’s just him and his S/O alongside the guard dogs

-He enjoys it as it’s good for quiet relaxation time whenever he doesn’t have to train or handle the other Holy Knights and that way as well, he’s able to listen for the footsteps of his S/O better

-As for where his brother, Berkley who I mentioned earlier lives? He lives on the property just not in the main house like he has a smaller house somewhere else on the property where he lives and handles everything

-It’s really the same for any other members of the family as well, they don’t live at the main house as that house is reserved for the head of the family to live in and when Garling’s father died. That became him

-If you feel lucky enough or if you’re desperate enough then if you find yourself being sentenced to death by Garling then you can actually propose a duel where if you win then you go free and if Garling wins then the execution continues

-Garling has accepted quite a few of these duels and has always come out as the winner with his fastest victory being seven seconds, he knows that he will never be defeated so he isn’t afraid in the slightest to take on these duels as they can be good fun in his own personal opinion

-However if Garling really doesn’t feel up to it or is in a hurry then he’ll either deny your request, allow one of the Holy Knights to fight you instead, or kill you right where you stand if you continue to insist or provoke him enough

-Doesn’t matter to him none

[invested-in-your-future]

Does RWBY's geography suck?

Its just...completely barebones.

Places, locations, towns, etc exist only in the path the cast travels through. Its especially notable in Mistral since that whole continent literally exists solely just so Ruby could walk through a forest for over a volume till she gets to Haven.

Like, we all know the whole "oh Monty spilled ketchup on a napkin and that became the map" stuff but that's fine.

Map complexity, worldbuilding and geography isn't defined by the shape of your continents. They could be outright rectangles or squares for all I care as long as they are filled coherently and characters don't teleport between locations offscreen.

Here's for example, the map from Brandon Sanderson's Stormlight Archives:

While one can instantly see that the map shape is outright weird and doesn't match anything in real world, it doesn't really matter. Sanderson's setting holds up on it's own - how the shape of it came to be doesn't really matter in the end because its a well thought out setting.

I bring up Sanderson specifically because his lecture on geography is kind of really good and covers quite a few common mistakes people do, as well as highlighting while maps are kind of good thing to have for your story. How having a sensible geography can help you figure out where characters can and can't be, how various story plot points can or can't affect each other and so on:

And even while someone like Joe Abercrombie or N.K. Jemisin do show a somewhat of a distaste towards publishing maps (and for good reasons), that's also fine.

The map can be something that only author sees/imagines. Whether one publishes it or not is really dependent on the individual, but for me personally if it's a fictional world and you are trying to flesh it out, showcasing how it changes or how it is impacted by character actions, then, in a sense, the world is a pseudo-character. Either way, make it public or not, the map IS and characters move through it and interact with locations on it, affecting them or being affected by them.

And there lies a pretty big issue with how RWBY handles it. The world is inconsequential. Pointless. Whether its bodies of water or arid deserts, mountains or villages - in the end it doesn't really matter. For example, there's nothing unique to Mistral that matters. Ruby could technically be just walking through a ten times smaller forest in Vale and it would be exact same story.

RT, instead of looking at the world they have, dirty napkin or not, and going "hmm, what does this place mean and why is it this way? what does this mean for the characters here? Does a character being there and doing this in anyway impact anything over there?", just plop down bunch of locations in straight line and that's it. Because they have decided that a character has to go from point A to point B in exactly this amount of episodes and that's it. That's the world building. And then sometimes they would realize they forgot another character so that character just teleports over, without even having a single doubt on whether that character CAN be there.

In a story whose main selling point is Remnant, the so called "The world of bloody evolution", where everything is MYSTERIOUS and woooo Moon is broken and OH NO that continent looks like a DRAGON and the communications between kingdoms are broken and there are grimm everywhere and this place got screwed up hard before and so on…suddenly none of that really matters. There isn't really an attempt to give Remnant characterization. How does each kingdom function? How does things going REALLY wrong in Atlas affect the economies and state of other kingdoms for example? Does Fall of Beacon and the destruction of communication system even matter? How would different locations be affected by the broadcast at the end of the tournament? How would various characters introduced from various locations deal with what happened? Miles and Co aren't interested in that. There isn't really an attempt to actually pay attention to distances between places and different methods of transportation because we gotta do all this in exactly this number of episodes somehow. The only time transportation methods mattered is when they had to put Blake onto a pointless padding storyline with her trip to Menagerie.

As much as people REALLY like joking about characters teleporting (be it in RWBY or in game of thrones), there's a bigger issue with Remnant in that it doesn't really feel like a coherent world. Places don't feel "tied together". There's little thought put into figuring out how things happening can affect the bigger whole. And thus the world feels smaller and smaller. Mistral could be another continent or Mistral could be an island or Mistral could be right next to Vale. Vacuo could be on the other side of the planet or literally two steps away from Beacon. In the end with the way RWBY is set-up It doesn't really matter. Characters WILL appear where the plot needs them to be. Consequences of specific things happening WILL be ignored if the plot needs them to be. Difficulties, location context and other things like that WILL be ignored as long as the plot needs them to be.

The last real attempt at characterization of Remnant is all the way back in the first three volumes - when the story goes from Beacon to the town around it to Mt.Glenn, establishing world-building elements there that then come into play in V3 conclusion. We don't get much but we get a sort of sense how the kingdom of Vale would have slowly expanded and how much Mt.Glenn is a sort of a wound within Vale, with unfinished and destroyed buildings highlighting the stagnation of that expansion as it hit a wall made out of as much of unknown dangers as it is made out of humanity's own vanity and pride. Which in turn ties back nicely into the vanity and pride involved in Fall of Beacon where once again a location falls apart because of the threats they refuse to see. There's a sense of progression and you can sort of see and FEEL this location that show spent three volumes in…die. And the logic and idea of the Goliaths moving from one location to the other, the idea of Vale being cut off from it's allies with the fall of the tower, the idea of the wound spreading, the idea what's safe and what's unsafe SHIFTING on massive scale matters. Blake disappearing matters because there's a difference between HERE and THERE. Weiss being taken away by her father matters because DISTANCE plays a part. Ruby setting out on a long journey matters because the DISTANCE matters. And through that, the sense of the world being no longer "connected together" is felt. V3 finale is in a lot of ways about things that should be there and have been there, now being missing. And it also sets up the expansion of the world as the characters are thrown out of their safe zones into places beyond, in turn slowly connecting it all together as a bigger whole.

Never again after that. 6 Volumes ago and never again after that. Characters take volumes to get somewhere or get there in a single scene change. Characters being in different locations doesn't matter. Sense of scale means nothing. The villain can be right at the doorstep and still far away for months to pass. Kingdoms don't feel like they belong in the same setting and no matter how grand the events that happen are, in the end it doesn't even matter because characters left the place. Does anyone REALLY think ANYTHING From mistral will EVER come up or matter? I really doubt that.

Its pretty telling that "adding a single ruined town" of Mt.Glenn is STILL the pinnacle of RWBY world-building.

Its pretty disappointing too because the setting deserves so much more.

[tonio-trussardi-blog]

hey i just wanna say ur dedication to and love for tonio is genuinely so inspiring to me in such a way i can't really describe but i love when i see ur blog crop up know that ur really cool

Ohmygooooooood my heart💕🍅 Thank you!!!

Tonio literally changed my life, I've been a fan of them for 2-3 years??? And my love for him won't stop for a long time.

I remember watching part 4 after months of not continuing jojos after the ending of StarDust Crusaders because I was devastated, and a friend told me they were going to watch it too so I continued, and to this day Part 4 is my favorite Part.

The episode that introduced Tonio change the atoms of my body and completely flipped my whole being, this chef has lived rent free inside my head ever since. I loved how at first she looked like another ✨bad guy of the week✨Josuke and Okuyasu had to defeat but then the episode pulls the rug and reveals that no, no bad intentions! Only a man with a big passion for cooking, learning and a want to help others. Who can be very intense but at the same time very happy when one of her customers express how their ailment is gone.

I love how creepy/mysterious he looks but at the same time like the most basic person in the world, I love her simple clothing with the little Ts, I love that we don't know much of them (and if you take Purple Haze Feedback as canon then we get SO MUCH ANGST POTENTIAL LIKE HELLO???????)

Tonio is practically the perfect character for me to love because I have the tendency to fall for THIS types of characters lol

It's just that in this case that love and dedication hasn't stopped, it hibernated for a week and then it came back punching me in the head. I scout the internet in search of any Tonio related content; fanart, fanfic, figurines, ANYTHING I CAN FIND. I save the fanart I find of him like a dragon with its treasure, but instead of hoarding it I want to share it. (Obviously I don't post the drawings of him because they are not mine, so instead I make silly little edits)

Seeing the support this blog receives always gets me, I can't thank people enough for interacting with this silly blog obsessed over a fictional chef :"D 💕💕💕🍅

(This has gotten pretty long but I wanted to talk about Tonio lol)