#and it's also not synonymous with 'never express a feeling or use a metaphor; or talk about an idea of any complexity'

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

i think it is probably a sign of the process of healing from the trauma of having every word out of my mouth ripped apart, mocked, and treated as an unforgivable offense warranting Extreme Rage and Vitriol, and having it explained to me in excruciating and hateful detail why my thought processes and basic turns of phrase and the things i thought were worth expressing were stupid worthless gibberish, unbearable to listen to, and the root of everything wrong with society, by redditor-ass faux-intellectuals in my life growing up for being awkwardly phrased/not concise enough/mildly whimsical, that some days i'm proud of my meta and some days i can barely stand to look at it. but god that does not make the second one more fun.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Some Poetry Writing Tips

Rules for Writing Good Poetry

There are no officially sanctioned rules of poetry.

However, as with all creative writing, having some degree of structure can help you reign in your ideas and work productively.

Some guidelines for those looking to take their poetry writing to the next level.

Or, if you literally haven’t written a single poem since high school, you can think of this as a beginner's guide on the basics and have you writing poetry in no time:

Read a lot of poetry. If you want to write poetry, start by reading poetry. You can do this in a casual way by letting the words of your favorite poems wash over you without necessarily digging for deeper meaning. Or you can delve into analysis. Dissect an allegory in a Robert Frost verse. Ponder the underlying meaning of an Edward Hirsch poem. Retrieving the symbolism in Emily Dickinson’s work. Do a line-by-line analysis of a William Shakespeare sonnet. Simply let the individual words of a Walt Whitman elegy flow with emotion.

Listen to live poetry recitations. The experience of consuming poetry does not have to be an academic exercise in cataloging poetic devices like alliteration and metonymy. It can be musical—such as when you attend a poetry slam for the first time and hear the snappy consonants of a poem out loud. Many bookstores and coffeehouses have poetry readings, and these can be both fun and instructive for aspiring poets. By listening to the sounds of good poetry, you discover the beauty of its construction—the mix of stressed syllables and unstressed syllables, alliteration and assonance, a well placed internal rhyme, clever line breaks, and more. You’ll never think of the artform the same way once you hear good poems read aloud. (And if you ever get the chance to hear your own poem read aloud by someone else, seize the opportunity.)

Start small. A short poem like a haiku or a simple rhyming poem might be more attainable than diving into a narrative epic. A simple rhyming poem can be a non-intimidating entryway to poetry writing. Don’t mistake quantity for quality; a pristine seven-line free verse poem is more impressive than a sloppy, rambling epic of blank verse iambic pentameter, even though it probably took far less time to compose.

Don’t obsess over your first line. If you don’t feel you have exactly the right words to open your poem, don’t give up there. Keep writing and come back to the first line when you’re ready. The opening line is just one component of an overall piece of art. Don’t give it more outsized importance than it needs (which is a common mistake among first time poets).

Embrace tools. If a thesaurus or a rhyming dictionary will help you complete a poem, use it. You’d be surprised how many professional writers also make use of these tools. Just be sure you understand the true meaning of the words you insert into your poem. Some synonyms listed in a thesaurus will deviate from the meaning you wish to convey.

Enhance the poetic form with literary devices. Like any form of writing, poetry is enhanced by literary devices. Develop your poetry writing skills by inserting metaphor, allegory, synecdoche, metonymy, imagery, and other literary devices into your poems. This can be relatively easy in an unrhymed form like free verse and more challenging in poetic forms that have strict rules about meter and rhyme scheme.

Try telling a story with your poem. Many of the ideas you might express in a novel, a short story, or an essay can come out in a poem. A narrative poem like “The Waste Land” by T.S. Eliot can be as long as a novella. “The Raven” by Edgar Allan Poe expresses just as much dread and menace as some horror movies. As with all forms of English language writing, communication is the name of the game in poetry, so if you want to tell short stories in your poems, embrace that instinct.

Express big ideas. A lyric poem like “Banish Air from Air” by Emily Dickinson can express some of the same philosophical and political concepts you might articulate in an essay. Because good poetry is about precision of language, you can express a whole philosophy in very few words if you choose them carefully. Even seemingly light poetic forms like nursery rhymes or a silly rhyming limerick can communicate big, bold ideas. You just have to choose the right words.

Paint with words. When a poet paints with words, they use word choice to figuratively “paint” concrete images in a reader’s mind. In the field of visual art, painting pictures of course refers to the act of representing people, objects, and scenery for viewers to behold with their own eyes. In creative writing, painting pictures also refers to producing a vivid picture of people, objects, and scenes, but the artist’s medium is the written word.

Familiarize yourself with myriad forms of poetry. Each different form of poetry has its own requirements—rhyme scheme, number of lines, meter, subject matter, and more—that make them unique from other types of poems. Think of these structures as the poetic equivalent of the grammar rules that govern prose writing. Whether you’re writing a villanelle (a nineteen-line poem consisting of five tercets and a quatrain, with a highly specified internal rhyme scheme) or free verse poetry (which has no rules regarding length, meter, or rhyme scheme), it’s important to thrive within the boundaries of the type of poetry you’ve chosen. Even if you eventually compose all your work as one particular type of poem, versatility is still a valuable skill.

Connect with other poets. Poets connect with one another via poetry readings and perhaps poetry writing classes. Poets in an artistic community often read each other’s work, recite their own poems aloud, and provide feedback on first drafts. Good poetry can take many forms, and through a community, you may encounter different forms that vary from the type of poem you typically write—but are just as artistically inspiring. Seek out a poetry group where you can hear different types of poetry, discuss the artform, jot down new ideas, and learn from the work of your peers. A supportive community can help you brainstorm ideas, influence your state of mind as an artist, and share poetry exercises that may have helped other members of the group produce great poetry.

Source ⚜ More: Notes ⚜ References for Poets ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[lastweeksshirttonight]

Me: People asked me to put together Top 5s for John Oliver stuff, I should do that

Me: ...

Top Five Fall Out Boy Songs

5. "Heaven, Iowa" (So Much for Stardust)

Look, any time someone I like drops a song that sounds like a sexy murder is about to happen, that song immediately becomes one of my favorites. (I blame my longterm love of Pulp.) And this is prime "something BAD (but hot?) is about to happen" material.

4. "Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of this Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued" (From Under the Cork Tree Deluxe)

One of my favorite album openers of all time, Fall Out Boy or no. The harmonies are perfect, the self-deprecating snark is off the charts, it lets you know exactly what you're in for with the rest of the album.

I wrote my thesis on this album and have a complicated relationship with it as a result (as anyone would with something they spent like five months picking apart in the most minute detail especially considering the lyric sheet in the album was INCORRECT HALF THE TIME), but this song still makes me so excited when it comes on, like I'm hearing FUTCT for the first time again.

3. "Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet" (Folie a Deux)

DOES YOUR HUSBAND KNOOOOOOOoooOOOOOOooOoOoOOW

2. "One and Only" (Shock Value, Timbaland)

This song is legitimately wild. You can easily interpret the lyrics as Timbaland and Patrick Stump being in an intensely abusive relationship... that they decided to immortalize in a song with weird church-hymn-like chords, a rap break that starts with a scream, a Timbaland spoken word ending where he calls himself a "tunin' son of a bitch", and one of the funkiest guitar lines the band ever did. Underrated messy classic, I would sell a kidney to see this live.

"G.I.N.A.S.F.S. (Gay Is Not a Synonym for Shitty)" (Infinity on High)

Gonna paint a picture for y'all - the year is 2007. I have never seen an episode of The Daily Show. I have like two friends. I'm stuck in a conservative town and dealing with a deteriorating home life. I think I'm bisexual, and feel completely alone and isolated in that. I gravitate towards dressing male and masculine pursuits, don't know why, and don't have words for it.

My entire life I've been training my voice to basically sing what other people want me to sing. Princess songs. Soprano opera tracks. Broadway torch numbers. Every time I try to sing a pop song for anything, I'm completely shut down. I don't have a pop voice. I have a better voice. Why do you try to belt when you have such a perfect princess voice?

I've never heard anyone who sounds like me both literally and metaphorically, who says the things I'm feeling and thinking, in music. I'm allowed to listen to whatever I wanted, but I'm not allowed to express anything real.

I buy Infinity on High on a whim with gift card money because my sister called Fall Out Boy posers and I wanted to annoy her. (Also the cover was cool.) My mom tells my sister that I could waste my money however I wanted when she protests. I've literally never heard of this band.

When I put that CD into my sound system, I finally hear someone who sings and sounds like me. Every song speaks to me, feeling like I'm under a microscope and like every crush I have is a prelude to a trainwreck. The singer belts and runs and lets himself loose the way I want to with my voice; when I look at the lyric book, I see he even looks like me a bit, red hair and round face and thick plastic glasses.

The album is angry, it's confused, it's chaotic, it's processing. It's every feeling I have while trying to grow up the way I want and not the way everyone else wants me to.

"G.I.N.A.S.F.S." is my little talisman song as I push through school. I am not shitty. I sound like someone. I can trade my femininity (baby blues) for something more masculine (wide-eyed browns), more me.

I'm not alone.

Fall Out Boy is still my favorite band. I've been asked why plenty of times, and it comes back to the way the music spoke to me when I needed it most. And with all their releases, regardless of how much I love or hate them ("Centuries" is like top 5 worst songs I've ever heard material), they still connect to some thread deep inside me that will always be 16 and desperate for connection.

[lilac-set]

o/ Hi! For the system ask game:

(feel free to pick just a couple to answer, i know we sent a lot!)

🧡 (How does your system handle memories? Does everyone share, or is it split across members?)

⭐ (Do you have a headspace / inner world? What does it look like?)

🍀 (Do any system members practice a religion or belief system? What about spirituality?)

🧵 (How does your system handle the body's / vessel's appearance? Does everyone dress the same, or is there a broad range of styles?)

🤎 (Do system members typically agree on things or is there a broad range of opinions?)

🌼 (Do any members have accents or typing quirks? Are accents/quirks common in your system, or more rare?)

🤍 (Say something positive about another system member (or all of them, if you'd like!))

:o this makes me so happy!! Thank for you the ask!! We’re all cofronting rn which is perfect, although the little has the largest minority i think (dont be surprised if little mannerisms come through significantly) edit: as soon as we starting answering 🔥 came forward instead

🧡 we dont share memory storage, but if we’re cocon we can actively go dig through each others memories, and we’re basically always cocon, so that isnt much of an issue. That being said, some things fall through the cracks if it didnt seem important enough (or we forgot) to actively communicate it and the other one didnt know there was anything to go actively looking for. That doesnt interfere with anything as long as anyone who might have expectations for us is respectful of our plurality

⭐️ kinda? Do you know rose’s room in steven universe? It works kinda like that, we can will things into existence, but unless we’ve done that we dont really have a headspace. For example if we all want to sit at a couch together we can do that, and its always the same couch, its consistent, but we dont constantly keep it loaded in our “RAM” so to speak (computer metaphor)

🍀 religion no, spirituality yes, we’re (all four of us) nontheistic animists who place a significant importance on nature, for now the best term we have is druidry, but there are some aspects of druidry we dont resonate with, for example we dont like rituals (for ourselves), and we aren’t sure about the awen (again, for ourselves), but maybe its just because we’ve mostly seen it described from a more pantheistic perspective, but plenty of druids are nontheists, we’ve just never heard their perspective on it. Learning about the concept of the awen has certainly been inspiring to us to learn about and engage with bardic arts more, not that we’ve actually done it, but we’ve felt inspired to, and i know thats just what theism is for a lot of druids, choosing to believe in something not because you necessarily believe it as objective fact but because entertaining the belief has a positive impact on your life, which i respect. That brings me to my next qualm with it as well, ive heard multiple druids say that one cant call themselves a druid because they simply feel like one, but that active engagement with druidry is essential. Of course we make decisions in accordance with our values at every opportunity, but theres a limited amount we can do in terms or actual activism and engagement with nature according to our/druidic values given our living situation, lack of income, disabilities, etc. So, given that, im not sure we can technically call ourselves druids, but also druidry is a nondogmatic religion/spirituality, there are no hard and fast rules, these are just the opinions of a handful of individuals who happened to express them online, i dont know. Also it obviously feels ableist to us, but like i get it, it doesnt make much sense to call oneself an activist if one isnt engaging in activism, even if you believe in their beliefs. But druidry and activism aren’t synonymous. Yes both are lifestyles but one leans spiritual and the other leans… ya know, active. The last thing stopping me from identifying as a druid wholeheartedly is that druidry has strong connections with celtic culture, which is fine, i dont mind borrowing from and appreciating other cultures (this isnt a closed thing) (cultural anthropology is also a special interest of ours, these are related special interests), but to an extent it feels like an act of patriotism for a country i have no connection to. It would feel more connected to me if i could find a similar set of beliefs associated with a region that either i or my ancestors have ever lived in, but im not sure if that exists. Sorry this was longwinded, and i know i left a lot terms undefined that anyone unfamiliar with druidry is likely unfamiliar with, i just didnt wanna make this even longer and didnt wanna overexplain if no one is really interested (and i also dont wanna make any horrible mistakes when maybe you should be asking a “real” druid about this instead), but this is kinda a special interest of ours, feel free to ask more questions about it! We love to talk about it. Edit: ah shit, i just realized i basically just contrasted our spirituality to druidry but i didnt really tell you much about our actual spirituality itself, feel free to ask about that as well

🧵 so, we all identify with the body itself, but we dont necessarily agree on how we would present it. In headspace everyone dresses distinctly differently, we have different hairstyles and bodymods etc, but in the body everyone would look pretty much the same, not because we want to but because we still live with our parents, and they have weird arbitrary rules about how we’re allowed to dress. Not about modesty or anything but just whatever their preconceived idea of what our style would be before we were born, that now they enforce on us. We’ve actually grappled a lot though with the fact that once we move out and we would have more freedom, rather than everyone just looking like ourselves internally and the body looking like the body, the body will probably look like a particular one of us at any given moment, depending on who dressed it, and then if we switch, that person has to deal with the dysphoria of looking like their brother, and the first one has to deal with the dysphoria of their brother looking like them, and i know both of those would be really hard for us. Within our parents constraints right now obviously we like to wear our preferred colors or whatever, and we’re good at, like, “oh, he would like to wear this, and i know he’ll switch in later, so i’ll go ahead and put it on, because i know it’ll make him happy” (it does), or like cofronting/cocon compromising “ok ill put this on because i know you like it but ill get to choose the pants” or whatever, so maybe the style on the body in an ideal situation would end up being more of an amalgamation of all of ours, because i know we wouldnt struggle with that, but god do we each long for the euphoria of making the body actually look like ourselves individually. Aaaaas long as we dont switch

🤎 ah nice another shorter one (we like the long ones but god this post’ll be huge) yeah we pretty much agree on everything. 🪨 and i (🔥) experience attraction differently, he’s quioplatonic and hyperromantic and im alloplatonic (presumably?) and bellus-lithromantic, so thats been somewhat of a point of conflict that we cant agree on what type of relationship we want and are comfortable with with collective significant others, but other than that we’re pretty much on the same page about everything in general. I mean, (not to put down systems that cant relate, just talking about it for ourselves), imagine you had a conversation partner who you knew the exact line of reasoning of, you could feel their emotions directly, miscommunication was literally impossible, you share any relevant past experiences, etc. Sometimes it takes some talking but theres really no reason we wouldnt eventually come to a consensus. (Taking an excuse to talk about another special interest) The four of us are different myers briggs types, which means we value different types of information regarding what we pay the most attention to and what we prefer to make decisions based on, so thats something you would notice but isnt any sort of source of conflict. We have one of every xNFx type. Feel free to ask us more myers briggs questions, we could infodump about this forever. This question didnt actually end up being all that short lol. Edit: i realized there multiple uses of the word “opinion”, i took it here more like “belief”, “stance”, etc, but if youre talking about more like “preferences”, yeah we have plenty of different preferences, but im not gonna make this longer

🌼 the little uses babytalk, idk if that counts. No typing quirks or variation is regional accents, but our voices are distinctly recognizable, apparently.

🤍 ah fuck hmm let me think. Theyre so complex and wonderful and i dont want to reduce them to a single compliment, or create pda for them to continue being whatever i would say. I think ill pass on this one, they all know i love them <3

[18shadesofmay]

Jumping Off Could Be a Near-Life Experience

I’ve sat down yet again to squeeze thoughts out of myself to punch them out on a screen, hit “ctrl + s” and never think about it again.

This is always the hardest part, having the intention to create something, but not knowing how to without sampling all the other things that have, in their own tiny ways, been the reason behind your desire to write. And there’s always the little hope that you turn out to be intellectually related to Quentin Tarantino, the slight possibility that you could craft your own dream bungalow using one brick from every construction site on the planet.

I think I’m really just afraid. Maybe I look to recycle and compile ideas because I’m too scared to have one of my own. Because what if it plays out as a terrible smelly load of dreadfulness? What if, with all my humanity and flaws, and like all artists who have ever created something beautiful, I actually have a bad idea, and realise I’m not free of imperfections? What a Greek tragedy, skyscrapers would topple, the stock market might crash, Buddhists would start believing in money, or worse, I could get another bad idea. Instead, let’s just lounge and bask in admiration of the creative geniuses of the world, and keep our mouths shut. Because look at these idiots, they actually dared to be original, and look where that got them.

I love it when this happens. This thing that’s happening right now. I had nothing to write about, but I wanted to write anyway, so now I’m writing about having nothing to write about. It feels neat and rewarding when things line up for you. Or girls. Girls lining up for you is also pretty cool. Anyway, in the expression of the annoyance that writer’s block has eternally caused me, I have something original. How’s that for a slice of fried gold?

Although, it’d be nice to write something that comes from preparation and structure someday, for a change. This is gratifying and leisurely, but the dopamine rush I’ve always wanted isn’t going to brew itself. All I need to do is not reject every single piece of writing I ever decide to type up.

I’m looking for that flow of thought that drags my fingers along as they desperately try to keep up, almost mocking them for being so incapable, and I begin to forget what I had to type next, because I was too occupied putting together everything that came after. And when I’m done, the big breathy victory sigh that makes me realise I really need a glass of water because my breath stinks like rotting pork. The self-imposed expectation subversion, planning out five pages for the day but barfing out (metaphorically, you’re welcome) twenty on the trot without a hiccup. Saying to yourself “I’m gonna need a bigger boat” and feeling like a cooler Roy Scheider. And finally, locking your fingers together and doing the customary conclusion stretch that pops your knuckles like they had popcorn in them.

Of course, it’s all a fantasy. There’s no way all those things could happen to a single human being in a lifetime. It’d be unfair to people without this godly amount of fortune, meaning absolutely everyone. Does that mean though, that I shouldn’t strive for it? Does the lack of realism in a concept imply hopelessness, or is it a source of desire, urging us to at least try? Our constant pursuit of perfection is forever going to be an uphill battle. So do we just…give up? What’s the point, failure is inevitable.

I’m back here then, aren’t I? The weak earthling tendency of fear. The aversion to defeat. The phobia of the one thing that is virtually synonymous to progress. The reason I abandon almost every creative idea I start working on. The mere existence of the possibility that things may not work out the way you wanted them to. Somewhere in the fine difference between settling for mediocrity and being okay with it, you’ll find a roughed up little nightclub called “Just Not Giving a Fuck”, where the lights are always off and you can’t even see what you’re stepping on. The joint where you order a drink and have no way of knowing what the bartender will serve you.

Believe it or not, half the world was made here. Of course, the bouncers outside will have to deal with all the girls lining up for me, but I intend to be a regular customer. I just have to find this place, because life isn’t going to offer me the luxury of a spiritual version of Google Maps.

Look at that, I just stepped on Mark Zuckerburg’s Harvard underwear.

[veditalks]

Processing Trauma with Candyman (2020)

Candyman

Candyman

Candyman

Candyman

…. Candyman!

Jordan Peele is back! This time, working alongside director Nia DaCosta to make us question more horrifying fundamentals of the human condition: injustice, trauma, revenge and the legacies we leave behind. As Peele points out, Black horror seeks to represent this eternal dance between monster and victim – and this monster never goes away, it elusively changes shape and form over time. In this context, Candyman represents a painful and unrelenting history of intergenerational Black trauma – from stories of brothers and sisters being lynched, tortured, murdered and exploited for hundreds of years.

I found it particularly striking how many people on the Candyman social impact discussion panel were mental health specialists, highlighting how Black horror films are rarely just a film, but actually a metaphor for a wider socio-political discourse. Dr Ashley defines racial trauma as the psychological and emotional injury that stems from racial bias, discrimination and violence, such as police brutality, microaggressions and denial of opportunities. There’s really no ‘cure’ for this, and often people will find themselves feeling isolated and invalidated, unable to put words to their collective pain and frustration. So, turning to films created through a Black and Brown lens, that center and empower Black characters helps people to feel heard and seen.

In this roundtable discussion, Professor Due points out that despite the gore and bloodshed that many would associate with horror films, the silhouette puppetry employed by Candyman’s creative team creates an emotional distance to express and acknowledge trauma - without audiences being retraumatized by having to witness more Black people be slaughtered or imprisoned on screen. Films that have been directed and produced through a white lens have been known to perpetuate harmful stereotypes regarding ‘aggressive’ and ‘predatory’ Black masculinity, with little to no appreciation of how we got here – what about the systemic violence enacted by white institutions?

‘Candyman’ is also wrapped up in themes of gentrification and urban monstrosity, which can be viewed as a recolonization of space where communities were uprooted, dispossessed and exploited to make way for capitalist interests and white communities. When communities of colour are trapped and redlined into public housing, crumbling from government neglect and geographic isolation, then does Black and Brownness become synonymous with monstrous, dangerous urban spaces?

The 1992 release of Candyman emulates many of the problematic tropes that Hollywood perpetuates, such as the violent and obsessive pursuit of a beautiful, innocent white woman by a scary Black man. This really makes me think about the iconography of the blonde, blue eyed, pure, feminine and untouchable white victim that appears in many films as a stark contrast to the grotesque, unsettling villain with darker skin and dark features. I’m thinking about the subtle xenophobic undertones in the films I grew up with: Scar and his hyenas in ‘The Lion King’ (1994), Ursula and her eels in ‘The Little Mermaid’ (1989), Captain Hook and his pirate crew in Peter Pan (1953).

And finally, what about the years of enslavement and exploitation? Would Hollywood ever release a film where a previously enslaved Black person returns from beyond the grave to carry out revenge on his oppressors descendants? This was another question posed in the social impact reflection for Candyman (2020) and it really got me thinking about the power and influence that visual media has on our societal relations and racialized perceptions of different people in this world.

I’ve thrown a lot of food for thought your way, and I would love to hear your thoughts!

Until next time,

Vedika

[riddlecrux]

The quiet power of emotions - a study of Azriel's feelings (part one)

I would love to preface this meta with my favorite disclaimer that everything I will discuss is based on what I have gathered from SJM writing. The quotes used in this post will serve as a starting point for further analysis. Additionally, I will use symbolism, metaphors, and literary device methods to build up my reasoning and beliefs. On another note, this, as usual, is strictly pro-Elriel meta. If they are not your cup of tea and you wish to comment, please be civil and bring arguments supported by the text.

I've wanted to study Azriel’s behavior in ACOFAS, since it's an official novella and it was translated and published in many countries. Since it has come to my attention that some people say that without Azriel's POV, Elriel wouldn't have anything to be based on (which is totally wrong) I decided to tackle Azriel's behavior and show how he had exhibited his feelings for Elain even before ACOSF came out. The scene I would like to start with this series (meta series if I may call it that way) is the one where Rhys and Azriel talk about Illyria, Jurian, and Vassa. Rhys constantly observes Azriel, and he decides to drop this.

“Send Lucien, then. As our human emissary.” I studied the tenseness in Azriel’s shoulders, the shadows veiling half of him from the sunlight. “Lucien is away right now.”

We can see that Azriel is uncomfortable. He's tense and he even shields himself from Rhys' prying gaze. It's all because Lucien was mentioned - which is a bit telling at this point.

Az’s brows rose. “Where?” I winked at him. “You’re my spymaster. Shouldn’t you know?”

Rhys is kind of testing the waters as well, you can say he's railing up Azriel to bring some reaction. However, the question is why would he? What is the reason behind this behavior? It came out of nowhere in the novella, so it's even more surprising to us to reflect upon it, taking into account what transpired in the bonus POV in ACOSF.

Az crossed his arms, face as elegant and cold as the legendary dagger at his side. “I don’t make a point of looking after his movements.” “Why?” Not a flicker of emotion. “He is Elain’s mate.”

I highlighted Azriel's body language because it's very important. Here we have the notion of crossing arms, which can mean that someone is anxious, resistant, tense, insecure, afraid, or defensive. As we can pinpoint some of these emotions are present in this particular scene - Azriel definitely shields himself up, not only by physically crossing arms but also in the indignation of his expressionless face. The fascinating thing is the addition of the comparison between Azriel's cold face and his legendary dagger - which only further solidifies that Truth Teller is in fact a big part of Shadowsinger. Summarizing up with what we got from these passages we have: - tenseness - obstructing oneself from the view - defensive stance - crossing arms - coldness - emotionless

I waited. “It would be an invasion of her privacy to track him.” To know when and if Lucien sought her out. What they did together.

Here comes my favorite part in this conversation - Rhys seeing himself in Azriel at that moment and Azriel keeping in mind Elain's privacy and agency. Some people try to paint Azriel as some sort of a toxic guy, who is so traumatized that he doesn't value anyone but himself. I'm wondering where this reasoning came from - since nothing exclusively supports that theory. It's clear that Azriel shows respect towards Elain, as stated above in the quotes - even if at this moment, he is clearly showing signs of jealousy. Which, once again is totally fine. All bat boys showed jealousy throughout the books, and every one of them loved their significant other with all their flaws and weaknesses. But going back to the quote, we are met with the assumption about Azriel's decision of not spying on Lucien - given by Rhysand. Nevertheless, something must have had triggered such response to Azriel's behavior and his stance - that's why I strongly believe that Rhys knew what Azriel felt like (in ACOFAS he's testing the waters, trying to see if his assumptions are right or wrong, in ACOSF he pulls a rank because of the consequences of the possible outcome with Lucien being so close.)

“You sure about that?” I asked quietly. Azriel’s Siphons guttered, the stones turning as dark and foreboding as the deepest sea. “Where did Lucien go.”

Rhys noticed and understood that his assumptions about Azriel's feelings and emotions are correct, that's why his tone changed. He is constantly observing and giving us very detailed descriptions of the changes undergoing in Azriel's persona while discussing Lucien (and inwardly Elain.) Now, let's look at the metaphor used to underline his emotions in relation to his Siphons. Azriel’s Siphons guttered, the stones turning as dark and foreboding as the deepest sea. - gutter - flicker and burn unsteadily - foreboding - a feeling that something bad will happen; fearful apprehension

SJM used these words in such a situation - a whole sentence that indicates turmoil that is happening inside Azriel. Behind his aloof expression, we got to know that his emotions are restless, that what he is experiencing is sound and present at this moment. We see that by the description of his Siphons - turning dark at the mention of Lucien's possible whereabouts. We don't necessarily know what Azriel thought - if it was apprehension connected to the possibility of Lucien being in the same house, near Elain, or even somewhere where Azriel wouldn't have expected him to be. Judging by the course of the conversation, I would be inclined to believe that it was thought of Lucien being close to Elain.

I straightened at the pure order in the words. But I said, voice slipping into a drawl, “He went to the Spring Court. He’ll be there for Solstice.”

As we are in Rhys POV we can see that he has been caught off guard by the way Azriel delivers his line, yet he masks it with a drawl. Was it because something that Rhys suspected came true? As in, for example, some validation about Azriel and Elain's relationship? We can guess, however, the text clearly states that Rhys was somehow surprised by the tone of his friend. The pure order is what initially made me reread ACOFAS and this scene few times since it carries a heavy chunk of foreshadowing, but also the weight of Azriel's emotions.

Azriel doesn't let anything on his face, which is almost devoid of emotions while talking to Rhys about Lucien - yet, we get so many descriptions about the way his tone changes, his body language, his Siphons, and gaze. Even if he doesn't show externally that he is feeling all those emotions, that doesn't mean that he lacks them. Because, clearly what we have in the text, suggests that Azriel exhibits symptoms of jealousy. This is completely understandable since in the books we get to know that he and Elain have already started getting to know each other off the pages. Another interesting thing is, how structured and written this scene is. We have an insight into Rhysand's thoughts and he is thinking about Feyre and Tamlin.

With Tamlin, it was more complicated than that. More complicated than I let myself usually dwell on. He was still in love with Feyre. I couldn’t blame him for it. Even if it made me want to rip out his throat. I shoved the thought away.

Rhysand acknowledges the fact that the whole thing with Tamlin is complicated, as he repeats in his mind - the situation was something that literally destroyed one of the Courts. It's also peculiar and worth noticing that Rhys is aware of the love Tamlin has for Feyre, and even if he knows that, he is ready to kill Tamlin.

In the contrast, the talk is about Azriel, Lucien, and... Elain. Another triangle that is, in fact, complicated.

“I’ll discuss Vassa and Jurian with Lucien when he returns. See if he’s up for another visit.” I angled my head. “Do you think he can handle being around Graysen?” Az’s expressionless face was precisely the reason he’d never lost to us at cards. “Why should I be the judge of that?”

Rhys asks about Lucien and how Azriel sees him behaving around Graysen, which in my opinion is another instance of testing Spymaster. I angled my head, which is what Rhysand does and synonym to angle is tilt. Once again we are going to look at what does body language says about it. It can indicate curiosity, suspicion, and in some cases even uncertainty. In this particular moment, I believe it's curiosity mixed with suspicion - Rhys has been observing Azriel the moment he changed the subject of the conversation to Lucien. We also have another description of Azriel's expressionless face - showing us, readers, that Rhys notes the changes in his behavior. Azriel even proceeds with questioning his friend about the purpose of that inquiry and how he of all people is the one who is capable of being a judge in this case. I think we can see it as some sort of dodging, stalling even.

“You mean to tell me that you weren’t bluffing when you said you didn’t track Lucien’s every movement?” Nothing. Absolutely nothing on that face, on his scent. The shadows, whatever the hell they were, hid too well. Too much. Azriel only said coldly, “If Lucien kills Graysen, then good riddance.”

Even if Azriel is described as expressionless and almost emotionless in this scene, we do see the moments when his feelings came up to the surface. Just like here, Azriel bottles down his anger and other emotions, letting out only his coldness. However, the question is why? Why so much iciness and apprehension? If the conversation and subjects of it weren't important to him, he would have probably behaved as usual - with his aloofness, but not necessarily hostility hid behind the frostiness. What's even more notable is the fact that Rhys comments about how his shadows hid his emotions/feelings, even on his scent. Azriel did it on purpose, he covered himself so he wouldn't be detected - or better to say to cover up his true emotions that Rhysand could have easily spotted. The biggest tell about it is the addition of "too much". If there wasn't anything to hide or the emotions under the cover were vain or small - Rhysand wouldn't have had added that thought.

No. Sort of. “I’d think bankrolling her apartment and drinking was gift enough.” Az ran a hand through his dark hair. “Are we …” Unusual for him to stumble with words. “Are we supposed to get the sisters presents?”

The conversation changes its topic - and Rhys starts to discuss sisters and presents. We see that Azriel's first reaction is rooted in body language. He is running his hand through his hair which suggests nervousness, frustration, stress, or even a sign of disagreement over whatever is being said. From all these things I think we can lean towards nervousness the most or even frustration - since just before that leap of the topic he was immersed deep down inside his feelings and tried to mask his true emotions about Lucien and Elain. Another thing is that Rhysand also notices that it's unusual for Azriel to stutter, stumble with his words which he does after he runs his hand through his hair. He's nervous.

“No,” I said, and meant it. Az seemed to loose a sigh of relief. Seemed to, since all but a breath of air passed from his lips. “I don’t think Nesta gives a shit, and I don’t think Elain expects to receive anything from us. I’d leave the sisters to exchange presents amongst themselves.” Az nodded distantly.

Rhysand doesn't even know if he can call Azriel's sigh a sigh since it seems that all it was, was just a short exhale. I do think that it was a sigh - of relief. However, we can speculate about what the relief is connected to. If it is for not buying gifts or maybe because the conversation steered in another direction and all these pent-up emotions, feelings, and even frustrations could finally be released? What's clear is that Azriel feels a lot, in this scene particularly. He is hiding it behind his shadows, obstructing it from Rhys, but also from the reader's point of view. Nevertheless, SJM used an enormous chunk of body language to show us what Azriel is feeling - jealousy. Another thing is that he seemed to think about what's being said about sisters and their gifts - because he was described to be nodding distantly.

Az nodded knowingly. He’d always understood me best—more than the others. Save my mate. Whether it was his gifts that allowed him to do so, or merely the fact that he and I were more similar than most realized, I’d never learned.

I love this quote and that it comes from Rhysand's POV as well. It shows that Rhysand knew and his suspicions were, in fact, correct - because he probably saw himself and his infatuation with Feyre in the way Azriel behaved with Elain. I do also think that it will come back in the next book - the bond between Azriel and Rhysand, and probably some of the small fallout because of what had happened with them in Azriel's POV. SJM put Lucien, Elain, and Azriel in here, while Rhysand thought about his situation with Feyre and Tamlin. Two triangles, two different, complicated outcomes, and relationships. Forbidden romance? Yes. Politically connected? Yes. Could start a war? Yes. There are so many similarities between them.

The thing with Azriel is that his feelings aren't over the top - he's not vocal about them. The power of his emotions lies in the quietness and his actions. If we sat back and looked at scenes in which he acts towards Mor or Elain, we can see that his strength in loving someone isn't connected to words, but rather than that - presence and behavior.

[ignitification]

Colour Analysis III: (LoV Series II) - Dabi

Yes, no - you don't have any hallucination. It's here. It is. And yes, it took an absurdly long time to, but it's here so mh, yeah - enjoy.

I suddenly remembered that an ask, long ago, asked me about the design pattern evident for Dabi. It's here in case you want to have a look at it.

As I stated there, Dabi is a living contradiction, especially in terms of colour theory.

His colour pattern is a chameleon of sorts: he both represents light and dark at the same time, as if he cannot decide which one to stick with. I think that this duality has all to do with his genealogy. Inheriting his mother constitution and his father's Quirk amplified, Dabi goes through an adaptation process, manifesting especially by the change in his hair's colour (same as Tomura, that is - you can find the link for his analysis at the bottom of the post). The dyeing hair is also part of the process, but this time it comes about with a voluntary part, which brings us to the point that even if not entirely, Dabi's personality is build around a feeling and a character, which he wants to express and contrast at the same time. This is why, as I already specified the most important colour when it comes to Dabi are Blue, Purple and White (with a sprinkle of Red).

I.) Royal Blue

More than any other colour, Blue is what fits Dabi the most. His eyes are blue, his fire is blue and his clothes are blue (different variation, but you get the gist).

Blue usually stands for coolness, loyalty, intelligence and responsibility. But pushing this aside for a minute, blue has a distinct effect on the human body: it lowers the heart rate and the body temperature and has a calming effect. It's a constant colour which represents the tide of waves and the never-ending blue of the sky. In respect to Dabi, it can be seen how this hardly applies - but, at the same time it does. As Dabi inherits Rei's constitution and her resistance to the cold - but his father's 'fiery' personality, his fire manifests as both. It creates a friction, until the burns on his body become an evident purple. This characteristic has a distinct connection to Red (section IV) - however, the leitmotiv is that Dabi's body is used to the effects that blue should have on him, and instead of seeing it realise they are brought down and counter-affected by Red (which is a metaphor for his entire persona).

Blue has the feature of being ever-changing, which, as you'll have understood by now, is one of many contrasts in Dabi's appearance. He indeed goes through an exterior change - but as blue, he remains steady on a path (which is revenge, and will to actually prove to Endeavour that he is not a mistake), making his character consistent with his ideas throughout the arcs and steady.

An overuse of blue is cold and impersonal - indicating the presence of deep dark secrets and having a  connection with feelings of sadness and depression. It creates the pictures of someone hiding in the dark just not to reveal their secrets, and for a long time we see Dabi trying to keep a low profile and then approach with an attitude of uncaring and cold indifference. He has burned his eye glands, which should allow him to express this feelings - but they are expressed, on the contrary, in the strength of his fire, and causes old feeling to settle and burn their way through his persona.

Blue is a susceptible colour and it hurts deeply - because in the first place, people associated with blue tend to feel too deeply. This fits the pattern of Dabi's fire being conditioned by his emotions, and why likely it creates deep wounds on his body: as a remainder that his feelings, expressed through the fire are way too intense and affect Dabi deeply. Deep enough for him to survive an astonishing fire and to hide for years in wait of having the right opportunity, the perfect opportunity to actually redirect this feeling onto the subject which caused them. As the constant colour that it is, indeed, blue (and Dabi) lives in the past.

Light blue is associated with healing, understanding and softness (his eyes), while darker hues are instead expression of power and knowledge (clothes - as a reminder of adulthood).

Finally, back on the literal meaning of blue: blue is a giver in the relationships that matter, but at the same time this colour can be unfaithful and deceiving (and we saw this in his interactions with the League at first and with Hawks, too). It is associated with intelligence and and consciousness (and indeed, the one who sort of had the reigns of the Training Camp was Dabi, and furthermore he is the only one who Ujiko retained mature enough to control a High End). This encompasses his characteristics of being reliable and responsible - and of course, Dabi embodies the whole spectrum.

Also on a final, funnily enough note, blue is usually associated with voice communication and someone who needs order, and strives for perfection as well as tending to be the one to speak in public. It's idealistic and expresses a will to satisfy its higher needs - and by doing that it expresses devotion in these ideals. So if you think about how Dabi's character is focused on reforming society, and giving Stain's will freedom and realisation, Dabi comes full circle - with a devotion which makes him focused on his goals (Stain's will, reformation of society and the Endeavour' downfall) , the commitment to actual plan their perfect realisation, and the ability to achieve it through the right means (The Broadcast).

II.) Pure White

White. Integrity, purity, innocence. Mourning, for some cultures. In particular in Japan, it is used as a colour meaning death, and is used in funerals. Same as for Tomura, Dabi uses both White and Black to somehow mourn himself and his loss (Tenko for his family, Touya for the himself he leaves behind) and especially in his adulthood, the concealing of such a colour through pitch black, is not only an effort to hide his identity but also to express a refusal to be the same person. White represents a new beginning, a blank slate. And if we consider these two to be somehow related (because death is seen as not the end, but instead a new beginning) it is clear how this colour, has a relevance to this character. After Touya's death, and his white hair hidden - he becomes Dabi, who has no time to still appeal to the childish feeling of wanting to impress his father and instead throws himself onto a new chapter of his life, because the past he will always remember, has been burned.

Same as blue, white brings serenity and peace - and at the same time it represents coldness and emptiness. I think this somehow emphasises the change in colour from red to white, and the loss of believing in strength (read: Endeavour) instead leaving an empty space in his heart, filled with emotions which he cannot control. The loss of innocence and the acquisition of the fact that Touya will never be what his father wanted him to, and the acceptance of such a thing - further brings out the meaning of the colour blue. (As already stated before, white, in Dabi's case is of enormous relevance - because it amplifies its relation to blue.)

Finally, white brings forward independence and freedom - and it stands for perfection. And I think it's really ironic how white, is not only the colour he inherited from Rei - a cold stark white - but at the same time, Endeavour has tossed him aside for the same reason, and that is because in his eyes he could not be more 'wrong'. But when his hair settles into his ultimate colour of white, Touya also breaks free from his father's expectation (but does he, really?) to start instead a new chapter as Dabi. Hiding the mistake he thinks he is, an instead embraces the personality that has been thrown onto him.

White is also the symbol of truth - which is tied to the revelation that Dabi is Touya Todoroki, and his dyed black hair becomes white, again (revealing the truth of his persona).

II.I) Pitch Black

Just to be as precise as possible, I'm adding a tiny section on black, which can be summarised in two sentences: black is associated with mystery, sophistication, power and authority. It brings forward the symbol of darkness, rebellion and ultimately it stands as a synonym of death. It's a colour which, when considered in respect to white, stands for the struggle between right and wrong - good and evil. Dabi presents himself as someone mysterious, and he does not reveal his name until far down the line. But he is still a representation of power, in terms of quirk and his position both inside the LoV and the PFL. Furthermore, him covering up his hair colour with black, as already said, has to do with wanting to appear a villain more than it has to do with his identity. He wants to fade into background for a while, and then come from the darkness to sweep everyone away - covering himself in black so it sends a clear message to everyone looking at him: that he is dangerous, and that there is no escape from his evil.

III.) Daunting Purple

Now, this is a controversial section. When I first thought of Dabi, I associated him with blue more than anything else, because after all, even if purple is an ever-present colour, it is just a reminder of how dangerous his quirk is, and how his body does not fare well in the friction of his firepower and his constitution. However, I think it is still important to put things into perspective when it comes to Dabi.

It is not a surprise, that Purple comes about as a combination of Red and Blue. The eternal struggle - which comes forth into the most detrimental way possible, for him. The shade of this colour has different meanings (not surprisingly) but, as far as I am concerned, Dabi's is a 'darker purple' (which is the one we have figured in the pictures) and fulfils its duty to evoke sadness and gloom. This is just a constant reminder of his story, and also the why Dabi is not very big on concealing the scars: because he thinks of them as a fair punishment, and that they remind him constantly of what and when exactly things did go wrong. Purple is also a colour associated with royalty and people with authority. On this meaning, there might a controversial stake, because it would actually give a relevance (or positive connotation) to the colour, however, as already stated before - I think that the scars are not only a reminder for himself, but same as the conscious choice of wearing black, Dabi makes a conscious choice to reveal his burn marks and to stitch his skin with evident metal piercings. He is putting them in evidence for a reason, and I'd guess this is the same reason for why he sticks on wearing dark colours, and to due his hair black: Dabi's objective is to appear as a heartless villain, and usually the image of somehow badly injured and wearing dark clothes, as sad as this might be, projects the image of exactly someone you'd like to avoid on the street.

Purple is also the colour of 'Fall', with its fading light. I found this particularly poetic when it comes to Dabi, as Fall might as well be the eternal representation of his character, and the fact that instead Dabi's fire just grown bigger and bigger, hurting him even more in the process - is the total contrary of fading light. But on the other hand, the light of his own personality, and those emotions he keeps tucked away just tend to be fade, dwindle at every sign of possible emotional connection.

Purple promotes the balance between mind and emotions - between the spiritual and the physical world. The balance between Red (emotions) and Blue (mind), and to which Dabi is not accustomed, yet. Finally, purple - among others - is also a mourning colour (reminder that both White and Black are also mourning colours). And it also inspires mystery, which again the image Dabi likes to project about himself onto others.

IV.) Flourishing Red

Red is Dabi's curse and representation. The contrast to white, and also the exacerbation of Blue. Red is the colour that gets the blood going (or rather, in this case, 'The one that turns up the heat' and which contrasts the calming effects of Blue) and the one who expresses passion and strength (which is why Endeavour's personality colour is Red - it's not a case that Red is associated with violence, anger, blood, obsession of power and strength, danger and fiery passion).

Red is the colour which Touya denies, and that instead comes back to bite him back. Red is energising and full of spirit and passion - and the image of a young Touya, striving to get better and make his father proud comes to mind. It's prideful and full of power - the will of a child, and his enormous Quirk-power struggling to keep it in check. This is why, Red after a while fades to Blue - and burns even more than it used to. Passion felt too deep, the exploitation of power which brings destruction. An all clear sentence to actually see why Dabi ends up with denying the all-too-overwhelming presence of Red and its characteristics, opting instead for a more suited to him Blue, which is also highly contrasting to the pure anger and passion associated to Red. The fact that Touya's hair changes, is an indicator of how he negates his father's influence, but still insists on hanging on those feelings, because he cannot let go of them. A walking oxymoron.

Thank for staying all the way, and for reading.

P.S. The colour analysis featuring Izuku and Shigaraki are respectively linked.

[clairenatural]

destiel, 2k. dean’s self loathing but it ends up fluffy so it’s ok. pining. destiel finally becoming canon because sam just wants to drink smoothies in peace (this is a repost because the original got deleted!)

It’s a few weeks into all of them being back in the bunker, Sam and Dean and Jack and a rapidly humanizing Castiel, when Sam decides he’s had enough. It had been bad enough the past decade, when Castiel was always leaving and there was always another apocalypse to distract them, but the past few weeks have become damn near domestic and the mutual pining is driving him up the wall.

Sam finally snaps at a small bar in Lebanon. Cas is caught up by a pretty girl at the bar and Dean has barely touched his beer, instead watching the interaction with a mixture of longing and heartbreak, and Sam can’t take it anymore.

“Dude,” he starts, and when that fails, “Dean.” Dean looks at him. He frowns.

“What, Sam?”

“Just go talk to him. Or drag him back to the bunker and talk to him there. I’ll go stay with Eileen this weekend, I’ll even take Jack with me—just please, Dean. For me.”

Dean blinks at him, glowers a bit, and takes a sip of his beer. “Dunno what you’re talking about.”

Sam gives him a look, unimpressed. “It’s been ten years. And—” he puts up a hand to stop the protests. “And listen, I know it’s been…rough, but by some miracle things are calm right now. So just tell Cas you’re in love with him so I can stop feeling like I’m interrupting something every time I walk into the kitchen.” 

He shudders a bit, remembering the day before when he walked into the bunker’s kitchen to see Dean and Cas just staring at each other over two mugs of coffee, hands still touching where Castiel had handed the mug to Dean. Sam had cleared his throat and Castiel had jumped, spilling the coffee, and Dean had glared at his brother as he reached for a towel.

Sam had just wanted a smoothie.

He glances back across the bar table to where Dean is staring at him, open mouthed, and watches as his expression shifts to a glower as he apparently gives up on trying to deny it. Sam counts that as a small victory in itself. 

“Why? So he can freak out and leave again? Dude’s just starting to get comfortable, Sam, I’m not about to chase him away.” Dean’s tone is angry, but Sam knows him well enough to see through the facade. There’s no real anger there. Just fear.

His heart hurts a bit, for both his brother and their best friend. “Dean,” he starts, gently, leaning forward in his chair. “He’s an angel. He’s been here since the beginning of humanity. He put your soul back together. Do you really think he doesn’t already know?”

Dean’s staring at him again, as if he’s never considered that before. He looks apprehensive, and mildly terrified, but before he can respond Castiel appears back at their table. He slides a beer across the table to Sam, then to Dean, who doesn’t look at him, before settling down himself. There’s a half second of awkward silence before Dean changes the subject, and Sam sighs. Nobody could say he hadn’t tried.

----------------------------------------

Dean can’t sleep. 

He’s staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom, replaying the last few things Sam had said. He’s an angel, Sam had said, as if that wasn’t obvious. And it was, it is, but—it’s too easy to forget sometimes, especially the many times he’s ended up more human than angel, that Castiel is thousands of years old. Dean never forgets that he’s an angel, of course. That’s one of the staples of the voice in his head, the one constantly telling him to keep his feelings for Castiel a secret to the grave. Over the past ten years Angel of the Lord has become nearly synonymous with too good for you and better than you would ever deserve.

It's what being an angel means that Dean doesn’t think about. That Castiel has spent millennia as nothing more than a wavelength of light and celestial intent before giving it all up to drag Dean out of Hell. That he was a soldier, a seraph, a term that Dean thinks he knows but also doesn’t fully understand the weight of. Castiel misses a pop culture reference and Dean forgets that he understands the physics of the cosmos on a level his human brain could never comprehend. Or, not forget—he could never forget. Dean just doesn’t like to look too closely at it, because staring everything that Castiel really is in the face just makes the voice louder. Makes him feel like just a speck of dust in comparison, unworthy of the angel’s presence or time or attention. Makes him wonder why Castiel has given up everything that he is and was, everything he had since the beginning of time, for that one speck of dust.

So maybe Sam is right. And Dean hates that. Because maybe Sam is right, but Castiel has only stayed over the years because he has nowhere else to go. And he has nowhere to go because of Dean. Because the very touch of you corrupts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost, Hester said. Because too much heart was always Castiel’s problem, Samandriel said. Because I’m hunted, I rebelled, and I did it - all of it - for you, Castiel himself told him, once upon a time. I’m doing this for you, Dean. I’m doing this because of you.

And Dean had reacted in anger, like he always did. Like he always does. And Cas keeps coming back anyway.

He needs a drink.

He sighs as he hauls himself off his bed, creeping silently through the bunker on the way to the kitchen, but pauses when he hears the murmuring of the television coming from Castiel’s room. It’s a bad decision but he turns towards Castiel’s bedroom door and pauses for a moment, listening to the soft sounds of a nature documentary through the wood. What are you doing? The voice scolds. Sure, Dean. Creep outside his bedroom at midnight, that’ll make him feel real comfortable.

The television clicks off. Dean assumes he’s going to sleep, something he needs to do more and more lately, and is about to keep going to the kitchen when—

“Dean?” Cas calls. Dean freezes. He could leave quietly, and they’d both pretend it had never happened. They were good at that. He could also make some sort of excuse and continue on his merry way. He doesn’t do either.

“Can I come in?” He asks instead, and Castiel says “yes,” and then Dean is pushing open the bedroom door.

Castiel is sitting on his bed, cross-legged, wearing a pair of sweatpants they’d picked up from the local thrift store and a t-shirt that is (was?) definitely Dean’s. The sight makes his heart clench. He hadn’t considered the potential consequences when he’d dumped a bunch of his old clothing on Castiel’s bed, and it sure isn’t making anything easier.

“You sleeping tonight?” Dean asks, and Castiel shakes his head.

“I don’t need to.” He pauses. “You should be, though. Is everything alright?”

Dean shifts on his feet. He shoves his hands deep in his pockets. He looks back at Castiel, meeting his gaze. There's something so uniquely deep about it—it wasn’t there in Jimmy, and even now, nearly human, his blue eyes feel centuries old. But not like the ocean. The blue eyes/ocean metaphor is overplayed, and when Dean looks into Castiel’s eyes he doesn’t feel like he’s swimming in an endless azure ocean. He feels like he’s drowning in the Marianas Trench.

“Do you know?” Dean asks. He doesn’t mean to, but he isn’t surprised when the words come out of his mouth.

Cas blinks at him, then frowns. “Know what?”

“You know.” Eloquent as always.

Cas quirks an eyebrow. “I know many things, Dean, but even with my full grace I can’t read your thoughts.”

Dean blushes. He hopes the darkness of the room, illuminated only by Castiel’s bedside lamp, obscures it. “I guess prayers aren’t quite the same, huh.”

There’s a loaded pause. Cas shifts, moving away from the headboard to sit at the edge of his bed, facing Dean. “Praying is more abstract than humans think it is,” he starts. “Gratitude is often close enough. Longing can come through as prayer. Love… when love gets close enough to worship, it’s the loudest of all.” He pauses there, searching for a reaction. Dean isn’t sure what he’s looking for, but he doesn’t even think he’s breathing—he’d stopped as soon as Castiel said love.

After an excruciating moment, Castiel continues. “So if that’s what you mean…”

Dean braces for impact.

“Then yes, Dean. I think I knew before you did.”

And, well. There it is. For some reason, Dean isn’t running away. He thinks it’s probably because Cas isn’t running away this time—and because he’d come back. He still comes back. Regardless of the many, many times Dean had been the one to push him away.

So “I love you,” Dean says, quietly, voice rough, because there’s really no point in not saying it anymore. Then, “I mean…I love you.” He clarifies, even as saying it twice sets off alarm bells, because if there’s one thing they’re good at it’s miscommunication.

Castiel blinks at him. “I know,” he replies, puzzled. “Is that not what we were just talking about?”

Dean stares at him. “You’re still here.”

The confusion on the angel’s face deepens. “Yes, because I love you too. I thought that was obvious.” In another lifetime he would’ve used air quotes.

What.

Dean pauses for a minute, reeling, trying to figure out if he misheard.

“Obvious,” he clarifies, as if that’s the word he’s struggling with.

“Yes.”

Dean is still staring, feeling something akin to shock. Obvious?

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I have. Multiple times, in multiple ways.”

Dean thinks back to profound bond and I always come when you call and I’ll watch over you and I could go with you and hundreds of moments in between.

Oh.

“You didn’t care that I never got the message?”

“I’m thousands of years old, Dean. Ten years is nothing. I was willing to wait.”

“Jesus Christ,” Dean replies, because that is a whole bunch he doesn’t have the energy to unpack, and his brain still isn’t completely caught up to what’s happening.

“No, I’m Castiel.”

It’s an old joke, said with a smile, and that combined with the absurdity of the situation means Dean can’t help but laugh. He looks up and makes eye contact with Castiel, who grins back, and suddenly there’s way too much space between them.

Dean crosses the bedroom in a few strides, and Cas stands to meet him, and then they’re kissing, and Dean isn’t even sure who started it but they’ve both been waiting long enough that he isn’t sure it matters. He has his arms wrapped around Castiel’s waist, clinging to the soft fabric of the t-shirt that was once his own, when something in the back of his head starts screaming that this is a bad idea and he’s just going to leave tomorrow and are you dumb enough to think you can actually have this?

But then Castiel makes a soft noise in the back of his throat and deepens the kiss, pulling them impossibly closer together, and for all its years of practice Dean’s self-loathing can’t come up with a response to that.

Castiel pulls back first, flushed and breathing heavily, and Dean chases his lips for a moment before Cas catches him in his gaze, in endless blue. Suddenly, Dean isn’t drowning anymore. He’s on a lifeboat, and the trench is impossibly deep beneath him but he feels safer than he has in a long time. Home, his brain supplies, helpful for the first time in years, and Dean smiles.

Cas smiles back, bringing a hand up to Dean’s face to trace his thumb along his cheekbone. “Will you stay here tonight?” he asks, soft, and Dean leans in to press an equally soft kiss to his forehead.

Tonight and every night, he thinks. “’Course,” he says, and then leans in to kiss him again.

Two mornings later, Sam walks into the bunker’s kitchen to find Castiel pushed up against a counter, Dean kissing his way down his neck. He yelps and retreats around the corner.

“Come on, guys,” he yells, from safety, and the two have the audacity to laugh.

“You did this, Sammy,” Dean reminds.

“I said I wanted to stop interrupting things in my own kitchen,” Sam counters, but he can’t find it in his heart to be angry. He sighs. “Whatever. You know I’m happy for you. I just—” he pauses. “Can I at least come get my smoothie?”

[sir-phineas-lost]

Follow-up post

So I got a reply to my comment about the ableism in Ironwood’s character arc by @swapauanon and then they immediately blocked me. Since I am sometimes a petty bastard I decided to make a separate response anyway.

The first thing I would like to point out is that this person does not actually address my points in any way throughout this lengthy rant. My comment was all about the behind-the-scenes comments from the creators and they only responded with in-text examples and their interpretations of them. Those are important sure, and I will talk about those, but they don’t exactly come off as arguing in good-faith right from the get-go.

Okay, so I don’t TYPICALLY acknowledge RWDE’s beyond blocking them, but I think it’s important to separate how Ironwood views himself versus how the writers view him.

Because Ironwood’s entire downfall is his misunderstanding of how humanity works. He denies his own humanity, and sees maiming his vulnerable flesh and replacing it with unfeeling machinery as ridding himself of his own human weaknesses.

Except at the end of the day, he can’t cast off his VERY human soul, and his refusal to acknowledge that he can’t and SHOULDN’T do that are ultimately what leads to his downfall.

I have seen this “Actually it is just Ironwood himself that is ableist” argument before, and I don’t think it holds any water. While it is true that he begins to see compassion as a weakness, he never expresses the views you say he does about his own machine parts. And if you want to talk about how Ironwood sees himself vs how the writers see him you really can’t do so without talking about framing and subtext. When we get scenes that emphazize Ironwood’s machine parts to make him look intimidating or use his passive superpower (described as “hyper-focus” by the creators themselves) to shut off his empathy, that is the writers telling us that these physical aspects of Ironwood makes him less human.

Meanwhile, what V8C12 was TRYING to convey (even if it was horrible in its execution), was that it’s one’s SOUL that defines them, not the body that houses it. 

Literally NO OTHER CHARACTER with mechanical parts added to their body views themselves as less human.

[...]

Penny doesn’t angst over not being human, she angsts over being treated like a soulless tool. (Which is why I don’t like that they turned her human. Had they set up that she’d wanted to be human back in Volume 2, it would’ve been one thing, but they don’t establish that Penny wanted to be human until AFTER her mechanical body has been discarded.)

So here they outright contradict themselves. They start off saying that no other character views themselves this way, and then go on to say that Penny does (but only after she has been turned human). And like, points for admitting that scene was bad, but they seem unwilling to consider that maybe the fact that the writers did include that scene tells us something about the way the show at large views disability. They seem to think they can just write it off and move on like this instance of Penny absolutely seeing herself as inhuman can just be ignored. it also disregards that this isn’t just Penny expressing how she feels about herself. When Penny gets her human body she expresses surprise that hugging someone makes her feel “warm inside” even though she has hugged people countless times before. This is not a villain saying that having machine parts makes you less human and being proven wrong, this is a hero saying outright that “wow, my mechaniocal body made me unable to appreciate this simple human interaction, but now that I have a flesh-body I can”. Things like this is why I do not buy the argument that it is only Ironwood who thinks being part machine makes you less human.

Mercury doesn’t angst over the loss of his legs, he angsts over the piece of his soul his father tore out.

[...]

While Yang DOES lose her arm and angst over it, she doesn’t view herself as less human because of her prosthetic.

The closest we get to a LITERAL “cybernetics eats your soul” story is with Cinder, and she doesn’t have ANY cybernetics, just a parasitic leash that’s slowly consuming her flesh and threatens to eventually consume her mind if she doesn’t get rid of it. And if/when she does, I imagine she’ll replace that with a mechanical arm.

(I moved a few parts of their post around here because it made more sense to me to talk about these quotes together)

I feel like this highlights how much this person completely ignores the core argument of what makes the themes in RWBY ableist. They focus way too much on the literal and whether the characters “angst” over their humanity. But like I have said before, thie main issue here is theme and subtext.

Mercury doesn’t “angst” over his legs, but that doesn’t erase the subtext inherent in the fact that he still lost his legs (and presumanbly the piece of his soul) at the same time as he joins team evil.

Yang is probably the best take on a disabled person with a prosthetic in the show. I will give it that. I don’t think there is anything particularly wrong with how it has handled this storyline, but I do think it sets a certain expectation for how it thinks a “good” person should handle their disability. Because Yang basically deals with her lost arm by seeing her prosthetic as an “extra”. She creates a distance between herself and it instead of seeing her mechanical arm as actually part of herself. Again, nothing inherently wrong with that but combined with the Penny-nonsense it creates a pattern of seeing machine parts as inherently inhuman and “lesser”.

The point about Cinder is where the argument relies too much on technicality. Sure, Cinder’s new arm isn’t cybernetic, bhut it is still a prosthetic and it is unambiguously presented as evil and corrupting.

So, no, it’s not the fact that Ironwood has prosthetics that makes him less human, they’re simply a symptom of his view of “soft” traits (kindness, empathy, forgiveness, and flesh), as weaknesses to be sacrificed for the “greater good”. Basically, while I know this term gets misused a lot, Ironwood embodies toxic masculinity. The idea that showing any emotion other than rage and pride is “shameful” and “unmanly”. The idea that brute strength matters more than strategy. That taking unnecessary risks to achieve your goal is “brave” and “daring” and not “stupid beyond belief”. Plus, I want to point out that WINTER HERSELF said that Penny (as a robot) was more “human” than her. 

Again, this completely ignores how Ironwood and his prosthetics are framed by the narrative. The idea that all of his flaws are based in toxic masculinity and have nothing to do with his disability is just not very supported by the text or by word of God (again, it was the creators themselves who said that losing his arm was “symbolic of losing his humanity).

And Winter’s words to Penny aren’t very positive either. The point being made there is that Penny was always human “underneeth” her robotics, which sounds good until you realize that this still frames her mechanical differences as negative. They are treated as a prison for the “real” Penny and the narrative explicitly tells us that they have made her unable to feel certain emotions.

It’s just that searing off that flesh after breaking his own Aura serves as a good visual metaphor for Ironwood giving up his “softer” traits to accomplish his goals, even if there was a better solution staring him right in the face (i.e. the rings were EXPOSED and he could’ve just nudged them out of alignment to get to Watts).

This feels like a really big reach on their parts to justify their idea of Ironwood as stupid on top of everything else. It relies on assuming things about fictional technology that was never explained in the show itself. I mean, if the rings are so easy to nudge then what is even holding them in place?

Either way it doesn’t really matter because the message of the scene is the same. If the point is to signal that ironwood is willing to give up his softer traits because he is also willing to give up his soft bady, then that also tells the viewer that being able-bodied and being capable of compassion/kindness/etc are synonymous.

It has nothing to do with the metal, and everything to do with the “Mettle”. 

I have no idea why they would bring up the fantasy neurodivergence the writers added in through word-of-God as if it somehow makes the show less ableist. “Mettle” as it is described by the writers, is not a character flaw. It is a chronic condition.

Edit: Seriously, I hope you realize that the hatedom makes it VERY hard for any criticism of the show to be taken seriously when the very VALID cricisms are downed out by “Adam should’ve been an anti-hero!” and “Fascism is good, actually!” leading to those of us with ACTUAL constructive criticism getting lumped in with you lot!

I am curious what they think “constructive criticism” looks like since apparently “Hey, constantly equating robot parts with inhuman behavior is shitty and ableist, please stop” doesn’t cut it.

Anyways, fuck this guy. If they want to be taken seriously maybe they should think about why they had to make such a long-ass rant to dismiss criticism of very basic ableist tropes.

[csx452]

How to Write Poetry: 11 Rules for Poetry Writing Beginners

Here are the 11 guidelines you can use to start on your poetry as a beginner. For number 1, the first thing to do read lots of poetry,  since if you want to begin poetry, at least read it a simple way, by not looking into a grander meaning and let the words of your favorite poem flow out of your voice. Then, you can analyze, ponder, do a line-by-line analysis or retrieve the symbolism from any poetry works such as a Robert Frost verse, an Edward Hirsch poem, an Emily Dickinson’s work, or even a William Shakespeare sonnet. The number 2 rule for poetry writing is to listen to live poetry recitations. Since listening to poetry can fun like a musical, such as the first time you go to a poetry slam and hear the catchy consonants of the poem out loud or being at a bookstore to see the fun and instructive poetry readings. By listening to the sound of great poetry, you will find the hidden beauty in the making of them. From stressed and unstressed syllables to alliteration and clever line breaks, the moment you hear good poetry out is when you never look at this art form the way ever again. For rule number 3, it is best to start small because overwhelming yourself is not good. So, starting with a short poem like a haiku or small rhyming poem rather than an epic. For the haiku or small rhyming poem can be the start that is needed to being poetry. Let’s not be mistaken for Quantity over quality, as it is better to read a seven-line free verse spotless poem than a sloppy rambling epic empty section iambic pentameter. In rule number 4, don’t obsess over the first line, since if the words don’t feel right, then keep writing and come back to the first line when you’re ready to try again. The opening line is just the start of the overall piece of art. So please don’t give it too much importance.

In rule number 5, you have to embrace the tools you have been given, such as a thesaurus or a rhyming dictionary, to complete your poem. Many people can be surprised that tons of professional poets use these tools to their advantage. But you have to be sure to understand the meanings of the specific words you decide to put into your poem. Some of the synonyms listed in a thesaurus will not mean the words you are trying to express. For rule number 6, you have to enhance the poetic form with literary devices such as metaphors, imagery, allegory, synecdoche, and even metonymy. This can be easy or challenging depending on the poem, such as in unrhymed free verse poems or poetic forms with strict rules about meter and rhyme scheme. Finally, in rule number 7, you must tell a story with your poem since ideas such as a novel, short stories, or essays can come out of poetry. A narrating poem such as The Waste Land by T.S Eliot can be as long a book, while a poem such as The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe can you feel as much fright and danger as a horror movie. Communication is an essential part of poetry, so embracing that instinct is needed to tell short stories in your poems.

For rule number 8, you must express big ideas, such in a lyric poem like “Banish Air from Air” by Emily Dickinson, as that poem can express philosophical ideas or political concepts used in an essay or poem. You can be precise or detailed in language and express philosophy in a few words that you carefully choose to use for great poetry. Especially in nursery rhymes or silly rhyming limericks, they can also express big, bold ideas if you choose the best words for the job. For rule number 9, you have to paint with your words or use words to paint a picture of the ideas you want to write about with your word choice. In creative writing, you have to paint a picture of what you are describing in your own words, from people to objects to scenes and so much more, as the artist’s method is the written word. For rule number 10, you must familiarize yourself with myriad forms of poetry since every poem or type of poetry has its own requirements, from the rhyme scheme and the number of lines to meter and subject matter, which makes them unique from other poems as the structures are the poetic twin to the grammar rules that are used in prose writing. It is important to succeed in the boundaries of poetry you have chosen whether you are writing a villanelle or a free verse poem. You will have to combine all of your work into one kind of poem while also keeping flexibility in it. And finally, in rule number 11, you must connect with other poets, whether in poetry readings or writing classes, to reciting them out loud to each other as poets can grow and learn from each other to perfect their own craft, as they read from each other and even take notes from their partner’s feedback. Listening to many forms of poetry created by others can inspire you to do better at your poetry work. Since being in a community of poets will help you grow a larger state of mind as an artist and even influence other members to become poets themselves.

[faelune-home]

FFXIV Write #9: Friable

(a/n: SPOILERS FOR SHB LV79 DUNGEON AND AFTERMATH!!

I took the fragile synonym from friable and then took from that the more metaphorical meaning than the literal one (altho maybe it can be literal in this scenario), and wrote about the Scions caring for the WoD in the aftermath of Mt Gulg. I think its something anyone can relate to for their own WoL as a general idea; a character normally so strong, maybe cheery if that’s what you do, but then this just brings them down to the lowest point.

Also I just like caring family Scions. ;-;

Word count: 1358)

Fhara was normally a cheerful person, always wearing a smile, always rushing around with a flick of her tail to help when people asked. And in battle, she had this confidence in her stance, an unrelenting push to keep going, making sure most everyone else stood safely behind her before advancing onward. To see her then wrapped in grubby bandages on her bed, sleeping face twisted in pain, she looked so unnaturally frail...

The Scions were spread thin trying to offer their friend some sense of comfort in her aching moments. Healing magicks alongside the practical salves and gauzes for her wounds from the long battle - both the enduring climb up Mt Gulg and her duel against Vauthry - and Ryne barely left her bedside, always on hand in she was needed to calm the raging Light aether that threatened to consume Fhara whole.

A sense of guilt spread amongst the present party as well; knowing that she’d been slowly suffering under the weight of each Lightwarden absorbed into her, and yet never offering her much succor beyond insisting on a rest at the inn for the night. It was only Y’shtola’s own reminder that the girl repeatedly brushed aside her own concerns and kept going at her own choice. Even when she noticeably struggled while they ascended Mt Gulg, Fhara insisted she was fine. She wouldn’t have wanted them to worry.

Now all they could do was watch and wait, provide her what care they could until she awoke again, and then they could attempt to plot their next move.

They’d been waiting for hours.

But then even sitting in silence in that inn room, no-one had even attempted to discuss any possible plans. Urianger and Thancred had stepped out to procure more supplies, and no doubt would have to answer any enquiries for the concerned Crystarium citizens along the way. Y’shtola had turned to research, grabbing some books from the cabinet to study in the hopes she could find something for their warrior. Alisaie had stayed by the window, staring out at the dreary unchanging skies with a steady scowl. And Alphinaud and Ryne had remained by her bed, waiting to aid their friend if need be.

No-one had broken the silence in that time, only Fhara’s occasional weak groans of pain.

The door clicked open, the two men having returned, the only greeting they got being a turn of heads to acknowledge them. Urianger placed a basket of fresh gauze and salves on the bed, moving alongside the younger pair to replace the bandages on the woman. She didn’t stir.

“I can say now that Lyna is keeping the peace well enough,” Thancred announced, finally breaking the silence in the room, “However the people are clearly still worried. Understandable, since the skies have returned to this awful gloom and their leader is missing.” The other obvious reason didn’t need stating. They did have to bring Fhara’s unconscious body through the Crystarium to return her to her inn room, and Lyna only had so many guards not on duty elsewhere to offer them privacy during the Scions’ march through the city.

“There’s been no change?” he asked.

“Not for the worst,” Ryne offered hopefully, however the mood didn’t lift.

“While that is true, she hasn’t gotten much better either,” Y’shtola said, shaking her head. A huff by the window caught everyone’s attention.

“Why did we think this would work? Using the Blessing of Light to counteract the Lightwardens’ aether?” Alisaie asked, not dropping her frown as she turned to the rest of the room. “Of course it was all the Exarch’s assumption in the first place, but we all went along with it. Why was our only plan to just put everything on her shoulders?” Even with the wavour in the girl’s voice making it clear she was holding back tears, her words made the others wince or look away.

“It was the only plan that seemed to work so far,” her brother countered, albeit with less force than his sister had, “Twas never anyone’s intention to make her suffer alone…we couldn’t have known this would be the final result.”

“But what else can we do now?” Ryne asked, a wary glance at the still sleeping miqo’te.

“We still need to look into how we’re going to follow Emet-Selch,” Thancred mused, “Ideally with a method that won’t involve swimming, to ease some parties here.” His attempt at humour didn’t reach its intended targets, their focus still on tending to Fhara.

“We would have to leave her be to look into that,” Y’shtola said, to which Thancred shrugged and replied, “Call me callous, but if there’s been no change, then we can assume she’s stable and it would be safe to do so. And at least if we’re going to look into searching for ways to brave the Tempest, we can also include some research into how to help her.”

“As though people haven’t already been trying to do that for those afflicted by the Light for the past 100 years,” Alisaie stated, “And we’re just supposed to find a solution they’ve missed for a much stronger case?”

“Well with that attitude, you won’t find much at all,” the older man frowned. The girl’s eyes narrowed at him.

“Very well then,” she huffed, making for the door, “I still think we won’t find much of anything that the people of the First didn’t find and try for themselves, but I’d much prefer being out there doing something than waiting here any longer.” She stormed out, leaving in such a rush that the door didn’t close properly behind her. Y’shtola got to her feet.

“I would agree with both of your assertions,” she said, “I have many books in Slitherbough dating back centuries. Twould be remiss of me not to even try to consult them for a possible method to aid our friend.” She didn’t elaborate further on her agreement, only leaving with the books she already had under her arm.

“I’d like to go out as well,” Ryne declared, turning to her guardian, “There hasn’t been any changes in her aether since we arrived and I first stabilised it. I would worry in case things worsen while we’re away but…”

“Thancred does have the right of it,” Alphinaud agreed, backing up the girl, “I feel the same as all of us here, worried about leaving her with no-one to mind her. But knowing Fhara she wouldn’t want us fretting over her needlessly. Better to put our energies towards trying to help her instead.” Ryne nodded, appreciating the support.

“If we are in agreement on taking our leave for further study, I wouldst leave word with the manager of these suites, that he may check on her in our absence. Should she take a turn for the worse, we may be called upon, and henceforth return with all speed,” Urianger offered.

“A splendid plan, and hopefully we’ll make better progress with it than just waiting for hours on end,” Thancred affirmed, although the quick glance at their companion betrayed his concern, much as he was clearly trying to play it off. Picking up his gunblade from its resting point on the table, he announced, “Ryne and I shall make for Eulmore, maybe we could be so lucky and  hope Vauthry had some information written down about sin eaters or his own condition.”

“Then I shall join you, mayhap there’s an old library within the city,” Alphinaud offered.

“And you will no doubt return to Il Mheg,” Thancred said to Urianger, who nodded in response, “Then you can give them my regards, since I have no intention of returning there if I can help it.”

With all prepped and a vague plan of sorts in hand, they made to leave. Only Ryne stalled, standing by Fhara’s bedside. Seeing the peaceful expression on her sleeping face for the first time that day gave Ryne a touch of hope in her heart.

“Rest well,” Ryne said to the slumbering Warrior, “We’re going to look for something that can help you. Because I’m sure there’s something that will work. There has to be.”

[littleeyesofpallas]

Bleach - Name Games

I don’t know how I didn’t think to do this one sooner.  Outoribashi(鳳橋) ROSE(ローズ) Roujurou(楼十郎) has a curious zanpakutou.  For reference, his own name (which I’ve covered before) references the Ho-ou/Feng/”Chinese-Phoenix” and by association rainbows (yes, just like the pokemon) and considering his very 70s shoujo look --very Moto Hagio and Ryoko Ikeda vibes-- in conjunction with some other themes that I’ll get to later, it definitely feels like he was meant to be gay, although we sadly got basically zero real character development for him over the series to elaborate on that...  But rainbows aside, the Ho-ou is why his hollow mask is a bird mask, and possibly the association with bird song could be where Rose’s music powers came from.

His sword’s name is Kinshara(金沙羅) written as (金):”Gold” and (沙羅):”Shala” which is a tree native to India, Shorea robusta, aka Sal tree.  As a translation Viz’s “Golden Shala” is actually perfectly correct!  It’s totally not any kind of translator error, but there’s really nothing to indicate what’s relevant about the Shala as a choice of name, so I’m going to dig into that instead.  And to be fair, I’m not super sure any of this is exactly “obvious” even in Japanese; I think this one is a lot of Kubo just being a big nerd about stuff, because that’s just how he is...

So, to start, it has numerous connections to images of the Buddha in relation to death, birth, impermanence, and attaining enlightenment, but what I think it’s references is a part of the opening line of the Heike Monogatari(平家物語) which reads...

沙羅雙樹の花の色, 盛者���衰の理を顯す: “The color of the flower of the pair of Shala trees, displays the natural truth that (even) prosperous people inevitably decline.”

It draws on the buddhist themes of life and death to note the inevitable fall of the Taira clan in the Genpei war, even as the story itself begins with the rise of the Taira.

The Heike Monogatari is often considered a Japanese equivalent to classical Western epics like the Illiad; it chronicles the events of the Genpei war, which itself is sometimes compared to the English War of the Roses, due to a similar start in which a reigning sovereign’s lineage comes into dispute between two offshoot families.  Notably the Genpei war ended the Heian period, a long standing era of peace in Japan considered the height of Japan’s courtly culture.  The Taira clan in particular were the ones who established the prominence of samurai in Japanese government, and the end of the Genpei war established the first Shogunate, the effects of which would shape the next ~500 years of Japanese internal conflict.

Anyway...  Point being that (沙羅雙樹の花の色,): “The color of the flower of the pair of Shala trees,” seems to be the reference point for the name Kinshara(金沙羅): “Golden Shala” and the sword itself being a long vine/whip ending in a Shala flower.  The name is effectively synonymous with, “Fleeting prosperity.”

The release calls kanaderu(奏でろ) means either “to play an instrument” or “to dance” both of which are relevant readings given Rose’s music based powers and dancer based bankai.

Although I don’t actually get where he connected the Shala imagery with music in particular...  I guess if you read the metaphor as “fleeting beauty” instead of “prosperity” it does kind of describe music as an explicitly sensorially in-the-moment form of art, but that feels like a bit of a stretch as far as intended reading.

His bankai is Kinshara Butodan(金沙羅舞踏団), retaining the same phonetics and kanji for Kinshara, and adding Butou-dan(舞踏団) which Viz translated as “Dance troupe” which is technically the literal reading of 舞踏:”Dance”+団:”Group” but it kind of dodges the fact that  Butou(舞踏) isn’t just a word for dance as a general art form or concept, it specifically refers to the particular family of Japanese, post-war, Western influenced modern dance forms.  It is most recognized, somewhat infamously, for a style using white body paint and extremely slow and hyper expressive controlled movements.  This reframes the release call from its “playing an instrument” reading to “dancing.”

Kinjiki(禁色): “Forbidden Color” was the first ever Butou piece, performed in 1959. (note the homonym in Kin(禁):”Prohibited” and Kin(金):”Golden.”)  It was based on a 1951 Yukio Mishima novel of the same name, and the phrase refers back to a Heian period law that restricted the colors that could be worn in court.  But the book and dance piece used the historical reference to compare the taboo of homosexuality with the arbitration of petty court conduct.

So, “Gold (Colored) Shala” is basically a pun on “Forbidden (Colored) Shala” and “Forbidden Color... Butoh...” immediately ques up the gay associations, which then fall in line with other more readily established themes with Rose’s character, like...

...Rose’s name being Rose (and again his very BL manga aesthetic) is a pretty clear reference to the word/term Bara(薔薇) which is the Japanese for “Rose” but is a slang term for gay men, derived from the 1970s gay culture magazine, Bara-zoku(薔薇族): "Rose-Tribe/Clan.”  (This same magazine ran a column for write-in editorials specifically from its female readers titled Yuri-zoku Heya(百合族部屋): “Lily-Tribe Room” which in turn is why Yuri is the slang for lesbians.)  

The magazine’s popularity (as well as that of others like it) with women was a huge contributing factor to the style and content of 1970s shoujo manga.  Which again is where Rose gets his general look of long wavy blond hair, European features, and frilly shirts from.  In particular I’m reminded of Moto Hagio’s emphasis on European men, Ikeda Ryoko’s world famous historical-fiction Rose of Versailles, and Yasuko Aoike’s From Eroica with Love. (pictured above)

Also a fun tangent, but it’s possible Rose was directly based off Bjorn Andresen, but it’s a little hard to tell...  Andresen was a huge influence on the 1970s shoujo aesthetic, specifically because of his role in the 1971 film, Death in Venice, where he plays an alluring androgynous boy that the movie’s protagonist becomes infatuated with.  His youthful and effeminate looks made him something of a celebrity the world over, but where as many western countries antagonized him over his role’s implicit homosexuality (he isn’t actually gay himself) in direct reaction to his fans’ embrace of it, Japan’s general public didn’t really seem to care, so he only ever got attention from his fans there --he’s actually commented that he’s been very fond of Japan largely because of the way it was the one place he wasn’t harassed over his perceived sexuality during his early career.

Anyway, Rose could just be based off the style that Andresen inspired, but the reason I think he could be a reference to the man himself is that Andresen is also a musician and performed with a dance-band called Sven-Erics as their keyboardist.  (I guess the dance-band thing could superficially tie back into the Butou theme, but honestly as a generic 70s-80s euro pop band the Sven-Erics definitely weren’t anything approaching the style of Butou.)  But the specific linking of the way he looks and the music powers feels more deliberate.

I didn’t even think about the fact that I did Yumichika and Ruri-iro Kujyaku not long ago, and putting the two next to each other, I never realized before now that we had TWO fabulous flower and bird themed men in Bleach that Kubo never even put in the same room together.  We were robbed.

[the-l-spacer]

Promise all you say is true - Chapter 2

(Ch 1) (ao3)

Summary: Lloyd wakes up one morning to discover that, on a whim, the Metaverse had decided to release him and Raven from the Lovers archetype they had been locked in for as long as either could remember.

In the process, however, reality became… just a little screwed up.

Now, Raven is gone, and in his place is David Adams. David Adams, who had never left Ashland, working middle-management at Justacorp. David Adams, who had never heard the anvils, never jumped off Warner's Peak.

But Lloyd remembers everything, and he makes it his personal quest to win back the love of his life.

...No matter how many 'strictly professional' coffee dates it took.

Chapter summary: Over carrot cake, the two hash some things out

Y’all… I seriously didn’t expect this scene to happen or get as long as it did but. Here we are. With this chapter, the setup for the fic is officially DONE and we can get into the stuff y’all came here for (aka Lloydven angst). In the meantime, enjoy Lloyd and Han getting in some awkward bonding time!

- 

“Feeling better?”

The man sat opposite her simply sighs. “Yes. Thank you, Han.”

Over a tray of tea, cakes and sweets (for Lloyd, his first meal of the day), the two go over, in painstaking detail, every narrative visited, every jaunt taken through the CU, every significant location in Raven’s life. As minutes, and then an hour ticks by, marked by the comings and goings of those around them (and the increasingly resigned expressions of the waitstaff as they drag out their meal as long as possible), they scrawl out possible places the missing Postie could be on a steadily depleting supply of napkins, provided generously by the small bakery in New Camden, a joint quickly becoming synonymous with Serious Talk Time.

When it comes to names and places, Han can’t be of much help, but that is to be expected, her having only known the man a scant year. Instead, she simply offers the obvious, locations Raven and Lloyd had spoken of the most around her; the first and second Playhouse, New Albion, even entertaining the idea that he was here, in this narrative.

“Impossible,” Lloyd insists for the second time, though Han notes that he’s sounding significantly less certain than before.

“How are you so sure?” Before Lloyd can respond, she quickly adds, “Waitwaitwait don’t tell me. The both of you have… a psychic link. From your weird wizard powers. Or something.”

“I remind you that you too have, as you so eloquently put it, weird wizard powers.” He replies, one hand spearing a forkful of carrot cake, the other forming air quotes. “But that aside, you’re not completely wrong.”

Han raises an eyebrow. “Huh. I was going out on a limb there. You two are seriously linked together?”

“That’s actually the other thing I have to talk through,” he says. “Have Ravey and I told you about the Lovers archetype yet?”

“Give me a second.” Han takes a long sip from her cup of Earl Grey, mentally sorting through everything her mentors-slash-great-grandparents had taught her about Posthumans and the Metaverse. “It’s… the thing where you and him are basically bound together, right? I thought that was metaphorical.”

Shaking his head, Lloyd says, “It’s very much not. After spending enough time in each others’ company -and back then, we had nothing but time to spare- we began embodying the Lovers archetype.

I shan’t bore you with the details, but you have the broad strokes of it. Essentially, we became irreversibly bound. As trite as it sounds, we had a sixth sense, of sorts, around the other. When we were apart, I would feel his absence like… a missing limb, so we always knew when the other was close by.”

Only half-listening to his explanation, Han lets Lloyd ramble. God knows he needed it. He was one of those people who absolutely had to talk through their problems, a tendency that annoyed her on any given day, except this one. Extenuating circumstances and all.

Huh. Deja vu.

Her mind wanders to the first time she had been here, it was just her and Raven back then, him having invited her out after the Singularity left New Albion. It really was a memory, a story for another time, but it had been surprisingly nice, even if her eyes were still red and puffy in a way that makeup just couldn’t conceal.

They had shared a slice of (what else) carrot cake, speaking of narratives and what she had learned of the art of finesse, and then, as they talked more, coping mechanisms, sacrifice, loss, and a rambling (but utterly sincere) apology from Raven.

It had ended with a hug, and granted, it was kind of awkward, Raven having to get up from the corner chair he was squeezed in to give her a half-embrace, as close as he could get to her side of the table (the bakery was as renowned for its carrot cake as it was infamous for its tight quarters). But Han still remembers the feeling of his arms around her shoulders, warm and almost reassuring.

And now he’s gone. Gone along with the rapport they were just starting to build after their disastrous first encounter. Just when she was finally beginning to see him as family.

The only questions on her mind are how and why.

She tunes back in as Lloyd finishes his explanation. “So you’re saying that because you’re locked into this archetype, if he was here, you’d know.”

What? She could multi-task just as good as anyone else!

Lloyd sighs tiredly. “Yes, but there’s the rub. I don’t think that him and I form the archetype any more.”

Well this raises more questions than answers. Still, Han pats his arm. “Drink your tea. You’ve been talking for way too long as is.”

She waves off Lloyd’s apologies over his loquaciousness, sweeping a hand as if swatting an imaginary fly, then realising this was a gesture she had ended up incorporating into her movements after seeing it time and time again from Raven.

Dammit. Even when absent he finds a way to worm into her head. The guy was just infectious like that. Is. Is infectious. She refuses to believe that he’s truly gone. Speaking of…

“If what you’re saying is true, I guess that answers the ‘why’ aspect of things, He’s gone because the Metaverse decided to release you from your archetype.”

Over the rim of his teacup, Lloyd’s mouth quirks into a half-smile, the first Han had seen from him all day. “You always find a way to make things sound so simple.”

“It’s why you keep me around,” Han jokes, feeling a responding grin spread across her face.

“Don’t put yourself down like that,” Lloyd says, leaning forward with sudden seriousness. “You do have a good head about you, and I… admire the speed at which you’re picking up your Posthuman abilities. You successfully mastered in a matter of months what took me decades to learn, and-”

Han can’t help the rush of pride that comes at his words. Lloyd was always the more critical of her two mentors, and nigh impossible to please (she was still rather sore over his snide comment over the tunnels). She almost misses what he says next, but catches it just in time.

“-and you’re a perfectly charming person. I had my doubts before, but it’s clear that you’re Isabel’s kin. You remind me a lot of her, you know.”

Han softens. “I had a great teacher. Two great teachers, as a matter of fact.”

He winces at the mention of his missing boyfriend, and she impulsively reaches a hand across the table to grasp his. “We’ll find the other one together, okay?”

Lloyd grips her hand, giving a tight nod, steely resolve in his eyes.

“Okay.”

- 

They exit the bakery as afternoon fades into evening, the gas lamps that line the pavements igniting one by one, illuminating the streets of New Camden.

“Just to go over the plan one more time,” Han says, “I’ll stay here and try to scout him out. If he isn’t here, I’ll try New Albion. Then, where the First Playhouse used to be.”

Lloyd hums in affirmation. “I’ll keep you updated on my whereabouts as well. If you find him, let me know.”

“Of course, and you do the same.”

“I will. Keep safe.”

“You too.”

They stand there, then, regarding each other in the lamplight. Finally, Lloyd reaches out a hand, as if to administer a firm handshake.

Nah, fuck that.

Han bypasses the hand, and wraps Lloyd in a tight hug. After a moment, she feels his arms wrap around her too.

“It’s going to be okay,” Han says once they break apart, gripping him by the shoulders.

“I… can’t thank you enough for your help, Han. I’ll make it up to you if- once he’s found.”

“Psssh, that’s not necessary,” she retorts with a smirk, already walking in the opposite direction. “Your acknowledgement that I’m more talented than you is more than enough payment.”

Lloyd bristles. “I was being nice. Don’t push it.”

“You said it! It’s been set in stone! I’m gonna tell everyone I know about this!” She calls over her shoulder, disappearing into an alleyway.

Determined not to let her have the last word, Lloyd yells, "Only if you admit to everyone that I'm a great teacher!”

"Never! Also, screw you!"

Shaking his head and chuckling, Lloyd begins making preparations of his own, mentally steeling himself to make the narrative jump, and going down the mental list of places he was going to search.

The hunt would begin in the Collective Unconscious. Then, the different narratives the lovers (now lowercase) had frequented. Finally, once all other options had been exhausted, he would return to Ravey’s home narrative. The one place the two had never been to, at the insistence of his missing half.

Ashland.

[bakugouscentedcaramel]

Ah yes, the time has come.

It's time to get your pen and paper because class is in session!

There's plenty of things I could talk about and I pretty much covered the basics down below, but I'm more than willing to help y'all out with anything specific!

I have to preface that I'm not an English major by any means nor do I have any experience writing professionally, the things listed below are purely based on my opinions and submissions I have received.

Writing is forever a learning process, there really isn't a right way of writing but there are definitely some things that will hinder your readers. Here is a list that I compiled both with my own experiences as well as some user submitted issues when it comes to reading works:

•Big blocks of text

° Typos/wrong word usage

•Using the same words

°Too spaced out/not indented where needed

• Dialogue runs into normal sentences

° Speakers/POVs change without notice

• Inconsistencies, either in general or story inconsistencies

°Lack of description/Too much description

• Bland/Artificial actions/dialogue

° Misuse of punctuation/lack thereof

• Capitalization errors

° Long winded sentences

• Using italics for actions

° Confusing formating

• Changing in Tenses

° Using wrong tags/falsely advertising (ex. Reader x Blank should have Y/N, not an OC/Authors name)

• Author notes/comics/pictures in middle of fic

° "~This is a transition~"

• Forcing a character to be OOC for sake of story

° Filler characters

• Not sticking to a specific genre/jumpy moods

Now don't be intimidated by this list! Some of these are pretty self explanatory so I won't go into a few of them. There are plenty of ways to avoid these and in some cases it is perfectly fine to use any of the above. 

Let's start off with the basics!

Sentence structure is the backbone of writing, but it's a very flexible rule. Obviously you have your subject, verb, object and whatnot, but the true art lies in word choice and length.

When it comes to sentences, size does matter. If your sentences are too short they will seem choppy and unfinished, whereas if they are long they will seem winded and unnatural. The biggest tool you can use to find out if a sentence is too short/long is by reading it aloud! If you run out of breath it's too long but if you finish abruptly it's too short.

Word choice is my favorite weapon to work with, I could describe a blue jay as a normal bird or as a mythical animal just by picking the right words!

"The blue jay flew across the field while it sang it's melody."

Or

"A creature with wings made of clouds swooped across the field whilst roaring out a devilish tune."

Word choice can easily convey tone/feeling so it's definitely an important element to writing! If you ever have trouble finding that perfect word try googling for synonyms! Also this website might help you find that one word that you just can't think of!

Grammar is also a very important part of writing. Using the right words and punctuation can be difficult sometimes but there are some easy fixes!

Spelling is an easy fix, if you forgot/don't know how to spell a word consulting a dictionary or Google is a surefire way of solving your problem. You can even find synonyms if you feel like you've used a word too much. 

Punctuation on the other can be a big more difficult, however. 

Here's a couple of sentences that helped me learn basic punctuation:

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink then leaves. Commas are a means of sewing two sentences together to form a compound sentence. These are mainly used to list out things and to add fluidity to your works so they don't sound as choppy.

A question mark walks into a bar? Question marks are pretty self explanatory. They either raise a question or form uncertainty.

Two quotation marks "walk" into a bar. Quotations are used for both dialogue and metaphors. I personally love using them for sarcasm!

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to drink. This one is a tougher one that I personally never learned from any of my classes. A gerund is basically a word that can act as a verb or a noun which would be "drinking". An infinitive is the base of a verb, in this case it's "drink".

The bar was walked into by a passive voice. A passive voice is when you emphasize the action and object of a sentence rather than the subject. You can find that a passive voice tends to use past tense where as an active voice uses present/future tense.

Three intransitives walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave. An intransitive verb is an action verb, expressing a doable activity like arrive, go, lie, sneeze, sit, die, etc.

Some other things that I commonly see are the wrong usages of words. For example:

They: a group of individuals/pronoun "Yeah, they said he'd be here thirty minutes ago."

Their: a possessive pronoun "Leave their stuff alone!'

There: location "What's that over there?"

Then: event/action "Val went to the mall then skittered to the park."

Your: possessive "Your self esteem is lower than the Mariana's Trench!"

You're: a conjunctive "you are"

Affect: caused by actions "The fallen french fry really affected Val's mood."

Effect: caused by events "Climate change has a negative effect on my Cheerios."

Peaked: a summit "Val has peaked at 10:19pm"

Piqued: stimulate interest/curiosity "You have piqued Val's interest by mentioning food."

Do time: "Val is fixin' to do time if she keeps slacking."

Due time: "Val will come with hydration in due time."

Per say: not a thing

Per se: by/in itself "She didn't write this late at night, per se…"

There are different tools you can use to spice up your writings, from metaphors to innuendos, all the way to zeugmas! Let's go over the basic definitions of these bad boys.

Metaphor: a figure of speech that is not literally applicable. "The darkness surrounded us like a shroud." Obviously the darkness can't physically shroud anyone.

Innuendo: a sentence with a hidden meaning "Is that a gator in your pants or are you just happy to see me~" 

Zeugma: a sentence containing words that can be used literally and figuratively, like a love child of the two above. "Val and her coupon expired last week." This implies that not only did my Colgate coupon expire, but I died as well.

Paragraphs are a necessity when it comes to writing. Big blocks of text are an eyestrain to readers and it's easy to lose your place, even if it's only 150 words. It's always best to use Tab or at least 5 spaces when indenting. A paragraph should only be 5-7 sentences long, this is so it's not just multiple blocks of text

When to add a new paragraph:

° A new person comes in

• New idea/context

° Setting changes

• New person is speaking

° Time changes

• The "camera" moves

° Tone shifts

• 5-7 sentences has been reached

Paragraphs help you organize your work in a way and they make it easier for your readers' eyes!

POVs are also very important. First person and third person are by far the most common ones so I'll only touch on these two. It's very important to write a story in one strict POV as to not confuse the readers. You can however jump perspectives like Heroes of Olmpyus by Rick Rodian, as long as the ready can easily tell who is telling the story.

First person is a story that is told from first-hand experience. It's the same as if I told y'all the story on how I almost chopped off my thumb in woodshop class back in middle school. First person tends to use a lot of I's and my's

Third person is a story that is told from a narrators' point of view. Such as "Once upon a time" type of stories. I's and my's should only be used in dialogue

Dialogue is probably one of the most important features of any fic/story. Dialogue can push plots forward as well as add life to a character. Here's a simple exchanged:

"Hiya 'Splodey," Val chirped.

Katuski smirked, "M'dumbass."

Dialogue should always come with a pair of quotation marks. Commas and periods generally go inside the quotation marks whereas dashes, colons, and semicolons almost always go outside the quotation marks. Question marks and exclamation marks however can go either inside or outside, it goes by a case by case basis. Always indent whenever a different speaker is talking, running quotes into each other is a no-go because it causes confusion and eyestrain.

You have to be wary of using simple dialogue exchanges though, if they seem off try saying them out loud! Dialogue is one of my favorite things to write because you can weave personality into them, not to mention you can always hear people talking to get a better idea on how to write dialogue.

For example, I have a southern dialect, meaning I sound different than someone from the north! I use words like "y'all", "fixin'", "finna", "ain't" and have a different vocabulary than that of my northern friends. This means that the characters you're portraying should have their own way of speaking! This will not only add flavor to your dialogue but it also adds to their personalities/backgrounds.

Describing things can be just as valuable as dialogue, but it is a bit more complex. Sure we've all heard of the "show, don't tell" rule. Which is a good rule to follow, however too much showing is just as bad as telling. Again, reading out your work is a great way to tell if you're focusing too much on one thing. Another thing to keep in mind is importance, such as do we really need to know that the grass outside was bluegrass? Which in certain situations it would be! For example:

The grass around the disheveled house was brown and straw-like, with the exception of a ring of grass. Bluegrass. Which wasn't even native to this location.

This paints a pretty good spooky picture in the readers' mind and even adds the element suspense by the implied uncertainty.

I've only covered a small portion of writing so if y'all have any questions or need any help feel free to slide into my DMs or send in an ask! I love getting questions about writing and I'm always willing to help a fellow writer!

[thatwritergirlsblog]

How my English degree helps me with creative writing

I've had a lot of questions regarding my English literature degree, and most of them come down to whether it was worth it for someone pursuing a career as an author of fiction. Rather than answering that question head on (because it's subjective), I'm going to explain the ways in which that degree does help me in my writing:

1. Well-read

When you are an English lit major, you have to read A LOT. I love reading, but I have never read as much as I did in those three years of studies.

I truly believe that the best way to improve your writing is to read, which means that anything that forces you to read a lot of fiction is going to help with your writing.

Another bonus is that I had to read widely, exploring genres that I wouldn't necessarily have read on my own. And cross-pollination is extremely important is you want your stories to be well-rounded.

It also forced me to read with attention and to interact with the text. When you're reading a book for university, you have to pay attention to each sentence. It teaches you to read in a much deeper way, which sticks around long after you've finished your degree.

2. Themes

Not everyone wants their writing to address a real-world issue. Not everyone wants to change the world with their writing. But a lot of authors do - and I am one of them.

My major was technically called "English literary and cultural studies", because every book we studied was linked to social justice/humanitarian issues.

Analyzing books in these ways made me understand my own writing from the perspective of a literary critic.

Not only did it give me ideas for important themes I'd like to address in my writing, it showed me how to do that.

I have a much deeper understanding of using diction, metaphors, motifs, allegory, characterisation etc in to get a theme across without sacrificing story.

And I utilize this skill every time I write.

3. Confidence

This one is very subjective. So, I'm just going to share my experience.

Writing is a thankless job. You don't often get recognition or validation and it can become taxing.

So, when I did a creative writing elective and my stories were highlighted by the lecturer, and I got 90% for my final project, my confidence grew tenfold.

Yes, I did well in creative essays in high school and I performed well in some writing competitions, but that wasn't a patch on how I felt after being validated by someone with a PhD in creative writing. (I know this sounds elitist, but that's what I felt)

It's amazing to have that assurance, to know that my writing talent isn't just in my head. It's not just my mom telling me I'm good and me going on and on believing that I am.

Furthermore, having a degree in English literature makes me feel so much more equipped to share my writing advice. Yes, having that degree by no means makes me an expert on writing, but it offers a sense of credibility that I wouldn't have experienced otherwise.

4. Vocabulary

So, none of my classes ever involved language studies. We weren't given vocab lists to study.

But, my vocabulary improved sooooo much. That's because I was in a class, every single day, where highly-trained academics were speaking about intellectual topics.

There are so many words I came into contact with that I would maybe have read in a book once if I'd never done my degree.

This helped immensely in being able to express myself clearly, in knowing the precise words I need to get a point across. Even in everyday conversation, I find myself using strong words rather than babbling in an attempt to express my thoughts. (Most of these words are ones that most people know, but wouldn't necessarily think of when engaging in everyday conversation)

This also really helps when writing, since precise expression is extremely important in fiction. If you can use one good word rather than four ordinary ones, your prose will thank you for it.

And no, I'm not talking about chugging out synonyms like a walking thesaurus and using high-brow words. Just words like "juvenile" or "ephemeral" etc. These are words I knew before, but that wouldn't have come to mind spontaneously, as they do now.

5. Time management

This isn't specific to studying English, but rather applies to all somewhat-challenging tertiary qualifications.

I was doing my pre-law degree whilst majoring in English, being in a sorority, and working on my WIP. It was hectic.

But it taught me (to a degree) how to handle more than one project/priority at a time.

I'm nowhere near being an expert on time management, but I'm better than I was before university.

And, since most writers do not write full-time, this is a useful skill to have.

That's it. There are probably other things, but it's difficult to know what contributed to which aspects of your current knowledge/skill, since 18-30 is a period of many changes and lessons. But I hope that this can answer some of your questions :)

Reblog if you found these tips useful. Comment with how your own studies/experiences helped with you writing. Follow me for similar content.