#and it's this huge weight of love that they can neither of them talk about because they'll absolutely fall apart if they do

[queen-of-hawkins-why-ler]

I just finished my s3 rewatch yesterday and I need to talk about how heartbreaking Mike's sequence is in the final scenes. You can literally see his reaction to figuring out that he's gay evolve from initial confusion, to shock, to devastation and distress as well as immense fear about what comes next.

When El kisses him, he realizes right off the bat that something about the kiss is "off," though not necessarily bad. He's kind of left wondering, "Huh? What the hell was that about?" asking himself why the kiss didn't mean more to him and why he couldn't bring more passion to the kiss, especially in light of the fact that he's not going to see El for a very long time. It's not the reaction of someone who just realized something about themselves, but the reaction of someone who realizes that something is just not quite right. Mike does not immediately realize he's gay, he's just like, "I wonder why I feel this way."

It's not until the kids are outside watching the Byers family leave that Mike is starting to put the pieces together. He's just had his final interaction with both Will and El for the time being. He's just said his goodbyes, and as he's watching the moving van drive away, he's realizing that his feelings about Will and El leaving are not what he expected them to be. "Will can come, too," is what he told El when El was talking about coming to visit over the holidays, but he's realizing that he didn't just invite Will to tag along as a third wheel to what would essentially be a romantic reunion between El and himself. He's realizing that Will is not secondary to his relationship with El and never has been. Will is the one he finds himself thinking about and pining for as he watches Will and El slip out of his life. Mike is the last party member to leave the Byers' residence, and we see him glancing back at the house, the place where he's shared so many memories with Will, and as he starts biking back to his own house, he realizes that he has a lot to contemplate and come to terms with on his ride there.

I believe he has the ACTUAL realization that he's gay on his bike ride home, once everything starts falling into place for him: El kissed him and he felt nothing. Will was the one he was thinking about as he watched the Byers family leave Hawkins; not El. He took one last good look at Will's house and realized that the most important and tender connection he has in his life is the relationship he has with Will: not the one he has with El.

And then, by the time he gets home, he's successfully figured out what it all means and he's in shock. Not only is he in shock, but he feels trapped now. Horrified of the implications of what this means for him, what it means for his relationship what his family, and what it means for his relationships with both Will and El, neither of which he will very easily be able to nurture or work on now that Will and El will be across the country from him. He's just discovered the most shocking, life-changing fact about himself--something that will change the trajectory of his life and will be a great source of suffering and oppression for him--and he's going to have to navigate it and figure it out all by himself, without any help, understanding, love or support from his own family, the Byers family, or his friends.

He hugs his mom and feels the weight of it all hitting him at once. He's thinking about how his mom may love him and want to be there for him now, in this moment, but there may come a time when she will no longer be there for him. He's realizing what this means for his relationships with El and Will. No doubt he feels a huge amount of responsibility to love and be there for El. El loves him and depends on him, and the fact that he's been there for her this entire time, he's already set the precedent for El herself, Hopper, and his own friends that he's going to be that for her: someone who loves and defends her. He feels the crushing guilt of knowing that he's going to let every single one of those people down by being gay. Of knowing that El loves and depends on him and that he can't love her back.

And then there's his relationship with Will, which he no doubt believes will be negatively affected by these newfound feelings. In his mind, Will is his best friend but also someone who is "normal" like the rest of the boys. Will may be a bit of a late bloomer, but he's going to grow up, start talking to girls, and have a girlfriend of his own soon enough. And Mike probably believes that from this point onward, his relationship with Will is going to be awkward, distant, and emotionally stunted by the fact that he's secretly in love with Will.

My poor BABY. I just can't even imagine the weight he must have felt once he realized he was gay and all of these crashing, painful realizations just slammed him all at once. In a matter of minutes, he realized he was going to be ostracized, alone, and a huge letdown to everyone in his life and that he'd have to face this all by himself.

[sweetiecutie]

smut where Remus wakes up reader by licking/loving readers breasts seems basic but I feel like he'd have a thing for his girlfriends titties 😅

A/n: holy fuck, that’s one of the sexiest things I’ve read, thank you anon💖💖

Pairing: Remus Lupin x fem! Reader

Warnings: NSFW, reader isn’t medically prescribed to wear a bra

Ever since the beginning of your relationships with Remus you have noticed his special interest in your breasts. He often, not so discreetly, snakes his arm around your torso, pressing you tightly into his side; huge hand making its way to rest on one of your tits, molding soft flesh through thick layers of clothing. And no one ever really pays special attention to that, only James or Sirius throwing occasional friendly taunts or teasing looks, but beside that - no one cares. Because, c’mon, it’s Remus Lupin we’re talking about! Not only he has privileges around Hogwarts, but also impeccable reputation - keeping a hand on his girl’s tits won’t do any harm to anyone, it’s not like he has ever tried doing anything risky or socially unacceptable, so mostly other students just let it slip

In his defence Remus always says that your tits help him concentrate - which isn’t completely a lie - the weight of your breasts in his palms, your nipples that harden the second his cold fingers touch your warm skin - it all does, in fact, help Lupin to concentrate his attention on the matter at hand. This dude literally uses your tits as some kind of anti-stress balls one uses just to busy their hands with something

Ever since Remus demands you to stop wearing a bra on daily basis. His reasoning is that going braless helps blood circulation, makes the skin of your breasts way more elastic and overall good for your health, but you knows better than that - this sly fucker just wants to have easier access to your boobs. And, well, you can actually understand that - slipping a hand under a tightly clasped bra isn’t exactly an easy task. Moreover, wearing a bra as if it’s some kind of obligation is such a misogynistic bullshit, so you gladly accept your boyfriend’s advice

And most of the time it’s not even sexual - Remus just loves your tits wholeheartedly, ready to worship them at any given moment. Don’t get me wrong - boy loves all of you, absolutely no exceptions or buts, with all your little ‘imperfections’ and ‘flaws’ - you’re the definition of pure beauty in Lupin’s eyes. It’s just something about your bust that always draws him in, making his mouth water and hands itch with desire to touch, to fondle

Every snuggle session with Remus ends up with his head under your (his) comfy t-shirt or sweater, his mouth latched onto your nipple, deft calloused fingers playing with your other breast, not leaving any of his precious girls without attention. His mouth works softly on you - tongue gently circles your hardened bundles, sucking and licking lightly, careful not to overstimulate such sensitive skin, knowing how sore your tits can get for the next few days because of him, bringing you a lot of discomfort. So Remus makes sure to switch your boobs once in a while, giving his undivided attention equally to both of your breasts, in order to not overwhelm you

The amount of times Remmy has fallen asleep in your arms, all cuddly and warm, comforted by your body heat and natural scent of you, one tit in his mouth as your fingers run through his chocolate-colored hair, massaging his scalp lovingly. At those moments he feels absolutely safe, huddled up in his own small world only with you by his side, where nothing bad could ever reach neither of you two

Way more often than you’d like to admit you wake up not from your annoying alarm clock or morning sun beams, but from soft licking and suckling on your nipples. You’d open your still heavy with sleep eyes, looking around the dark room; Remus feels your subtle shuffling, mumbles out quiet “Morning, sunshine”, muffled by your tit in his mouth. You just hum in response, closing your eyes again, hand finding boy’s broad back, rubbing comforting circles on his stiff muscles

So yes, Remus Lupin is absolutely in love with his girlfriend and her pretty tits

Likes, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated, they inspire me on creating even more content for you💖

[dani474]

Tell us your theory on why he says that PLEASE. I don’t think it’s true they have to fix things 😭

So, this post points out a huge flaw in Wei Wuxian's response and its discrepancy to what we know of their relationship in canon. The Golden Core transfer is one of MANY things they need to discuss to get past their estranged, brittle, slightly obsessive relationship.

When we take a close look at why Jiang Cheng is so angry and so hurt here, it's not just about his family or any debt Wei Wuxian might have had to his parents. Ultimately, it's about Wei Wuxian's promise to remain by Jiang Cheng's side. He lost his parents and their entire sect, then he lost his own core trying to protect Wei Wuxian (who doesn't know!) then his "martial brother/brother/best friend/whatever" not only goes missing for three months but returns with new powers and new issues he won't share with anyone. Not even Yanli.

Jiang Cheng wanted to protect Wei Wuxian but was unable to due to larger political circumstances and the fact that he didn't know about the transfer. He didn't know why Wei Wuxian was using demonic cultivation! He warns Wei Wuxian again and again that there are larger risks of his cultivation, and he turned out to be right. Trouble found Wei Wuxian even when he ran off and hid peacefully! And he never knew why.

To Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian asking to leave the sect -- regardless of whether or not it was to protect them from further scrutiny by the other sects -- is him asking to leave Jiang Cheng's side. To break their promise without any explanation. He already lost so much and all he can see here is losing another person he loves.

I want to drive that point in, really.

Any insecurity Jiang Cheng feels over Wei Wuxian's capabilities is often outweighed by his sense of responsibility towards rebuilding his sect and attempting to protect what remains of the family he had before the attack on Lotus Pier.

He didn't want to tell Wei Wuxian about why he lost his golden core for the same exact reason that Wei Wuxian kept the surgery a secret. They didn't want to hurt each other with the knowledge of such a great sacrifice. A sacrifice no one would have ever asked of either of them, no matter what was "owed." The Transfer was experimental and pretty much something no cultivator would even attempt. That's what made this choice so risky and so hard to account for.

Neither had any real way to weight the risks and consequences of this situation, and by never talking about it even during a tearful argument, we got canon events. (I've seen people talk about how Wei Wuxian's circumstances meant he had very little else to choose but survival, but this is true for Jiang Cheng too.)

And really. They both tried so hard to survive. And yet, when faced with terrible choices, they chose to protect each other. Putting their cultivation on the line to save each other's lives is not something anyone would normally do. Duty could have been a factor, but in my opinion, it wouldn't have taken Wei Wuxian that far. It wasn't even a factor in Jiang Cheng's.

And I think this is why people feel so put off by Wei Wuxian claiming it was done out of duty to the Yunmeng Jiang family. But it doesn't start with him. Their entire confrontation starts out with Jiang Cheng questioning what the sect meant to Wei Wuxian, if everything they gave him (everything they were to him) was worth nothing. This is almost entirely a projection of what Jiang Cheng asks when he cries. What he really feels is hidden in questions about martial duty.

"Why did you not tell me?"

For all his words, it was less about their sect and so much more about Jiang Cheng feeling like he was worth nothing to Wei Wuxian.

We know this. But Wei Wuxian doesn't.

I didn't notice it immediately, but Wei Wuxian's whole thing is deflection. It's about telling small truths and laughing things off or forcing himself to forget entirely. By the end of their confrontation, he does it again by asking Jiang Cheng to let it stay in the past, now that it's out there, but this does nothing to reduce the tension. It just deflects it again.

I think Wei Wuxian's response to Jiang Cheng's questions was to focus on what he thought was most important. Duty, debt to the Yunmeng Jiang. It was a deflection from what was really wrong. He didn't want to address his own complicated feeling, much less try to untangle whether Jiang Cheng hates him or loves him, so he doesn't.

Whatever broke between them wasn't about duty of any kind. It was about sacrifice, and the pain of carrying its burden alone. It was about loving someone enough to do something so drastic and never being able to say it.

Jiang Cheng hearing that the transfer was out of duty hurts him deeply, because he doesn't know that Wei Wuxian loves him. But Wei Wuxian doesn't know that's what Jiang Cheng is looking for. He hears the first part of their confrontation and responds to that.

Not, "Why did you never tell me?" But 'Did the Yunmeng Jiang mean nothing to you?'

Those are two different questions.

Wei Wuxian is trying to tell Jiang Cheng that it did mean something. That Lotus Pier's destruction, the Jiang parents and Yanli's deaths mattered to him. He's trying to release Jiang Cheng's burden without realizing that, by saying it had nothing to do with him, he's saying that Jiang Cheng didn't matter enough.

This is not how Wei Wuxian feels, we know this. But, again, Jiang Cheng doesn't.

They're talking right past each other, and because of all their other issues, they not only don't realize it, but might never be able to truly address it. They're so used to keeping their feelings hidden from each other that they can't even see how much they, as individuals, matter to each other.

TL;DR.

Both of them love each other and couldn't say it because of their complicated. Well, everything. Instead, their misconceptions cause them both to focus on the wrong things at the wrong time. By asking about what the Yunmeng Jiang meant to Wei Wuxian, it hides what Jiang Cheng really wants to know: if it was done out of love and protectiveness as his sacrifice had been. By focusing on this deflection, Wei Wuxian hides his own feelings by placing duty to the Jiang sect in highest importance. He gives the answer that he thinks Jiang Cheng wants to hear.

So, no, I don't think Wei Wuxian wasn't telling the truth (or at least not the full truth) either.

In the end, this is not what either of them actually wanted from the confrontation and does very little to address their actual emotional issues. All it really does is open the door for something to change in the future.

[lbxbx]

Cockpit 9 | knj

Pair: Namjoon x reader

Summary: Namjoon goes through a rough time while getting a divorce, meeting you at the club two weeks in a row when attraction becomes unreal.

Rating: +18 mature content, Smut, divorce, fatherhood, mentions of anxiety attacks, mentions of abuse, mentions of bribery.

taglist: @wecanpretendit | @whoisbts | @yoonjinsrkive | @my-current-mood-is | @joonzseoulmate | @parkinglot-nights | @missbangtangirl | @m00njinnie | @mantaecrolss

Previous | Next

This entire weekend was incredible, yet still a huge weight sits on your shoulders when all of them blend in with Namjoon and seem to be liking him… a lot!

You spent so much time over thinking the fact if you and Namjoon didn’t actually end up together everything is going to end up being awkward for you two.

Jungkook has already planned a workout routine with the guy and they agreed to meet up a couple times a week, even when he used to work out with you, but you’re long forgotten. Yoongi wanted to take him out and play basketball, Taehyung wanted to see a cockpit in real life so he politely asked Namjoon to show him one.

You’re a little overwhelmed that you kind of regret the fact that you introduced them together, you wish time went by fast so you could go home.

Less than a week after, Hoseok is driving on his way back home from the court house, that day he had planned dinner with you and a movie night, not only because he genuinely misses you and  wants to hang out with you; but he’s trying to keep you away from Namjoon a little, not that he’s against anything or whatever, he just wants you to take your time with the whole thing. So he planned a sleepover at his place, and it’s just you two.

You’ve always been close together and did these kinds of nights occasionally if neither of you had to work, so you wouldn’t mind at all, in fact you would love to.

Hoseok’s phone rings while he’s driving and he puts his phone on speaker when he answers. “Hello?”

“Mister Jung? Hi this is Mister Lee speaking, I’m one of your clients.” It seems to be an older man on the other side and Hoseok gets a little suspicious, he has way too many clients and most of them share their first names, so he apologizes. “I’m sorry, but I’m currently driving, can you make it quick please?”

“Absolutely, I wanted to talk to you regarding my daughter’s hearing on September 14th, you’re her husband’s lawyer aren’t you?”

He feels the need to park the car on the side of the road as he grabs his phone and checks his schedule, Namjoon’s hearing is scheduled that day along with two other sessions. “What’s the spouse’s name?” He asks.

“Kim Namjoon, I thought that we could make a deal with you.”

Hoseok rolls his eyes.

A little cheap shot from her family, but most of the other parties when they find out that Jung Hoseok is against their own lawyer, they try their last shot which is bribery. The whole field of law is intoxicated with bribery and even though it is in fact a federal crime, it still occurs frequently.

And of course, Hoseok is filthy rich, because really, he can’t deny that if he got a  good offer, he would totally accept the bribe and not try hard defending his own client, but of course he wouldn’t accept the bribe if they offer a fake or invalid evidence to hold against his own  client.

But considering Namjoon actually matters to you and you’re his close friend, Hoseok decides to actually listen and figure out what they have in hand. “Sure go ahead.”

“3 and a half million won if you make him change his mind and cancel the divorce.”

Of course her father doesn’t even own the 3 and a half million won. Even if Hoseok actually got Namjoon to change his mind, her family would take the Kim’s money to pay Hoseok.

Hoseok laughs. “Do you have any valid reason from him to change his mind about the divorce?”

“We have witnesses, he was seen in public with someone else, and we have a witness of abuse.”

Hoseok knew that you being around Namjoon all the time will complicate things, he rubs his forehead and nods. “We need an actual concrete evidence, do you have any? Video tapes, pictures, clothing item?”

The older man laughs nervously. “We don’t have concrete evidence sir, aren’t witnesses just enough?”

“Of course not, for all we know, your witnesses can easily lie.” Hoseok’s answer is more than enough for the man to just sigh, “I will get the concrete evidence, can we visit you in your office when we’re ready?”

“Absolutely.”

“Thank you Mister Jung, we’re sorry for keeping  you busy.” The older man apologizes before saying goodbye and hanging up.

Of course Hoseok doesn’t need the evidence to begin with, even if Namjoon was actually guilty, he was going to defend him just because he knows that the man matters to you.

But he feels the need to tell you, that the man may be accused of actual abuse. And he needs to talk to Namjoon and see if he ever touched the woman in an inappropriate way.

He finally gets home to take a shower and get dressed, as he waits for you to show up, you two were going to bake pizza from scratch and he had everything prepared for you two to cook together.

He grabs out Namjoon’s file to put on the coffee table before you finally arrive there and ring the doorbell.

You were working that day on the morning shift, Namjoon wanted you to come over to his place since his soon to be ex partner is in Ilsan with her parents, but you told him that you had plans with Hoseok and of course he gave you your space and wished you a pleasant time.

You got back from work and dressed into a pair of sweatpants and a  hoodie and you matched it  with a pair of socks and a slipper, and you drove to Hoseok’s place with a six pack of beer.

“There you are.” He opens the door and pulls you into a hug, you hug him back and kiss him on the cheek, “What’s up?” Before walking towards his kitchen to put down the beer, he opens the fridge to shove the drinks inside and grabs you out a bottle of water. “I have some tea to spill.”

“You do? I love a little gossip.” You grab the bottle and untwist the cap. “Who’s sleeping with who? Is Jungkook sleeping with someone’s girl?”

He laughs and scratches his nose. “I’m not surprised you think that, but nope, it’s actually regarding you.”

You’re a little taken back when he speaks, he even crosses his arms and looks at you in the eyes, one eyebrow cocked up.

“Should I be worried?” Your heart drops when he takes a couple seconds to answer you, “Nope, nothing too serious, let’s go sit.”

He points his head towards the living room, both of you walking there.

There is not a single scenario that didn’t go through your head, your anxiety is increasing by the second and he’s taking his time to talk which drives you mad.

You cross your legs under your butt and sit back onto the couch. “What is it?”

He grabs the papers and hands them to you, it takes you a second to recognize that it’s Namjoon’s  divorce papers, clipped onto a thick file that was hand written by his previous attorney, consisting of Namjoon’s testimony.

“What’s the matter?” You worriedly ask and he eyes you carefully before he speaks. “His father in law found my number somehow and called today to put an offer, of course Namjoon doesn’t know.”

“Hobi, I think I should stay out of this, it’s none of my business.” You put the file down and sigh, a little relieved that it’s nothing concerning you in person.

“No Y/N.” Your stomach drops when he uses your name clearly. “I think you have to know, they’re trying to find a concrete evidence of abuse, and they have a witness who claims that Namjoon was seen in public with someone. Look, I’m just worried if what they are claiming is true.” He whispers as if someone might listen.

You bite onto your nails anxiously, you know Namjoon’s side of the story but you don’t know hers’. And perhaps everything they’re claiming can actually turn out to be true.

But you shake that thought immediately away, you’ve known the man for more than two months now and you swear on your own life that he’s been nothing but good to you.

“Did you go out with him?” Hoseok’s deep voice snaps you out of your thoughts and you even flinch. “We went out together a couple weeks ago, but that’s it.” You shrug. “We mostly hung out in my place.”

“And did anyone recognize Namjoon or something?” He asks. “Someone might’ve spotted him.”

You’re totally unaware of what happened in the wine cellar that evening and it didn’t even cross your mind because you didn’t over think it in the first place. Plus you were a little tipsy.

You shake your head. “Not at all.”

He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair, “I’d really appreciate it if you brainstorm a little.” He puts his hand onto your leg for support before getting up. “I’m not going to dig further more into the topic of abuse unless they hand me the evidence.” He walks towards the kitchen.

“I think you should talk to them.”

And he stops to look at you behind his shoulder. “What do you mean?”

“Make them trust you, maybe they’ll spell out the truth.” You simply suggest.

“Do you have a plan?

You simply shrug with a little pout forming onto your lips. “You know your job better than I do.”

He pauses for a second and scratches his temple. “Fine, I’m in, but can we please get to cooking? My brain won’t function when I’m hungry.”

You get up onto your feet and head to the kitchen with him.

-

The night is getting longer and the time is passing really slow since winter is about to come up early this year, you’ve always hated night shifts when the night got longer but now you don’t mind them. Namjoon has been keeping you entertained  throughout the entire night, texting or even video calling when he’s in the hotel room outside Seoul.

“Hey, I got you some coffee.” Seokjin makes a surprise visit to the emergency room and puts the cup down in front of you, he’s looking tired and he could barely stand on his feet. “Thank you, you don’t seem okay,”

He leans against the wall and closes his eyes. “I’m not feeling well, I think I have a fever.”

You get up on your feet and grab his arm to lead him onto one of the beds and close the curtain. “Lay down.” He obeys and immediately shuts his eyes, you grab the nearest thermometer and aim it towards his head, and indeed he does have a fever. “What hurts?”

“Nothing too serious, I think it’s the flu because my tonsils hurt.” He barely speaks. “Can you write me a sick leave? And can the nurses give me something? I’m really tired.”

You laugh and ruffle his hair. “Oh so that’s what the coffee’s for.” And he flips you off because he’s too tired to bite back at you.

“Fine. Stay here.” You open the curtains and head out to the nurses to give them the order on what to give him before writing him a sick leave.

The emergency door slides open and an old man walks in with a woman behind him, both are walking so it seems that there is nothing too urgent to you. They take the bed right next to Seokjin’s and leave the curtain open, waiting for you to come over.

You take a sip of your coffee that you know is going to get cold by the time you’re done and make your way towards them with one of your nurses to introduce yourself. “Who’s the patient?”

“I am.” How can you forget her features? You’ve seen her once but you remember every detail on this woman. There’s a ring still on her left hand.

“Lay down please,” You put a pair of gloves on and walk near her before the man next to her stops you. “We would prefer if it was just you examining her.” He looks at you then looks at the nurse who’s about to turn around and leave before you grab her wrist. “She has to be here to assist me.”

“But we want some privacy.” He insists, you squint your eyes and tilt your head. “And you are..?”

“Her father.”

Makes sense, she looked a lot like him, you feel resentful towards them both that you couldn’t control your facial expressions. The nurse leaves as you give the woman in front of you a half assed examination.

“Breathe.” You order her as your stethoscope sits on her back, your other hand supporting her other shoulder.

Her sense of smell is heightened all the time, and the perfume on you smells so familiar, of course she can’t forget the night she first smelled it on Namjoon’s shirt, and what makes her a little suspicious is that she smelled his shirt on the same night that her second cousin claimed that he saw Namjoon with someone..

But of course this doesn’t prove anything since people tend to like similar perfumes, she looks at you and sinks in her thoughts. Quite good looking, but a doctor who probably doesn’t have the time to go out with someone.

“What brings you here today?” Your question snaps her out of her thoughts, she’s about to open her mouth to speak but her father grabs her by the shoulder and whispers. “We need your help.”

You stand in front of them in confusion before you ask. “How can I help?”

“My daughter is going through a divorce and the lawyer asked for a medical report to give to the court.” He nods and has the audacity to say. “And you women understand each other, we need your help with a medical report to prove that she’s been a victim of violence.”

Her parents are putting in all their effort to find  their evidence, of course her second cousin wasn’t able to snap the picture earlier, but they’re using their twisted ways and trying to dig deep just to prove that Namjoon was there with someone.

They even asked the company that held the tour to send them the list of people who booked on that day but it was confidential and no one was allowed to have it, and Namjoon got lucky with that..

And of course they offered a few doctors that are related to them a bribe just to fake reports of abuse, or even fake reports that she’s pregnant so that the divorce can be delayed. Her father is working on a big project and he needs funding for it, the divorce cannot happen any time soon.

Someone suggested that they should head to hospitals in Seoul rather than Ilsan since her and her husband live there, and that she should visit an emergency doctor so that they could help her with her medical report.

You feel your body fuming with anger and you’re even more bitter now, you clear your throat and look up into his face to see that he’s dead serious. Other doctors would’ve probably done it, but of course you wouldn’t because it’s unfair to Namjoon and unfair to you and your job.

“Could you give me a minute please?” You force a fake smile and open the curtain to head back to the counter, a little overwhelmed.

The bed next to them is occupied by  Seokjin who’s on his IV medication, and even when his ears were buzzing due to his fever, he could still hear the conversation happening next to him very easily since there’s only a curtain between them.

“Something’s suspicious.” She whispers and her father grits on his teeth before answering. “This is all your fault, we wouldn’t have gone through all this.”

“The night our cousin told us that he  saw Namjoon with someone—“

Seokjin’s eyes almost fall out of their socket when he hears the mention of Namjoon.

“—He came back the next day smelling exactly like the doctor’s perfume.”

Fuck, Seokjin gets a head rush when he rises up from his seat too quickly to turn off the IV fluid and leave the bed. He makes sure that he’s seen when he stands next to you really close and wraps his arm around your waist awkwardly.

You flinch and look at him, a little terrified by his sudden touch. “Wh—“

“Put your hand around me and shut up.” He whispers. A frown sits on your face and you’re a little too angry to be doing this nonsense with him. He can see the debate happening in your head so he presses on his teeth and whispers again. “Just do as I say.”

And you put your hand around him with a clear cringe on your face, before he speaks a little loud. “I was looking for you honey, where have you been?”

You scrunch your nose and tilt your head. “Huh?”

“I miss you.” He’s loud enough for them to hear, he presses a kiss onto your cheek and tugs your hair behind your ear. “O-oh, you have patients?”

You’re still confused and you’re seriously starting to think that the man may be hallucinating from his fever, “Get back to your patient, call me when you’re done.” And he simply leaves the emergency room.

Meanwhile her father looks at her and she looks back at him before he whispers. “She’s clearly married, stop over thinking.”

You turn and get back towards them with your arms crossed, you’ve had your time to think, and it’s a little last minute, but it’s time to initiate some sort of plan.

So you fully decide on giving them the report but before that you give them some false information and they seem to believe it. “Of course I’ll help you, we’ve helped women before and we’re glad to help you.” You even fake a smile. “But we need to give you the report sealed in an envelope so that the court could accept it, it’s something with the law I guess.” You shrug. “And I’m going to sign it with my name right by the seal so that they know it hasn’t been opened before.”

Her father has a smile of victory on his face and looks at his daughter who’s a little occupied looking at your fingers to see if you’re  actually wearing a ring or not, still not convinced with what she saw earlier. And luckily that day you were wearing your cheapest jewelry and you wore one of the rings on your left ring finger. Now she’s finally convinced.

“Please stay here, I’ll go write the report and have it ready for you.” You nod and get back to the counter to sit in front of the computer and start typing.

Her full name and age, her history and physical examination.

Before stating clearly, that there are no signs of abuse, no bruises, no signs of cuts or wounds, no fractures, her vital signs which indicate that she’s perfectly well, before signing your name and printing the paper and folding into an envelope and sealing it.

“There you go.” You gladly hand them the envelope, a little happy on the inside that you got to do something to prove Namjoon’s case. “Thank you so much.” Her father snatches the report from your hand, and he’s a split second away from opening it before you stop him. “Sir, if you opened that envelope you can’t give it to court and no one else can write you another one.”

“I have to read it.” He’s about to open it again but again you interrupt him, constant non true bullshit coming out your mouth. “Her name has been logged into our system with a copy of that report, if you open the envelope it wouldn’t be valid anymore and it may be used against you.”

And that’s what convinces him to stop, his daughter taking the report from him and putting it into her purse. “Thank you.” She gets up and drags her father out of the emergency room.

On her way out, your eyes pierce up and down her figure, of course you were judging her and comparing yourself to her, you know you’re way prettier than she is that you secretly wonder why did the man marry her to begin with.

You roll your eyes at your own thoughts, a little cocky for you to think like that, but oh well.

The moment they leave the emergency room you grab out your phone to see 3 texts and a missed call from Namjoon. You decide not to call him back and instead, call Seokjin to find out what the hell was going on.

And he explains the entire thing to you on the phone, and you’re now happy that he did what he did.

You text back Namjoon of course not letting him know what happened just now, before locking your phone and leaning your head back onto your chair.

A sudden heavy weight sits on your shoulders, and you feel a little too involved in Namjoon’s divorce even when you didn’t want to, which makes you genuinely upset. You now wish you liked a man who was single already and had nothing to go through,  no divorce, no custody, no nothing.

As she returns home with her father she locks the door and he sits onto the couch to clip the closed envelope with the divorce paper, “You better hide this well, he can’t see this do you understand?”

She nods and hesitates to blurt out. “I have something in mind, I know exactly how we can set him up.”

“I think this report is more than enough to get you your rights.” He doesn’t want to listen, totally insisting on doing everything his way. “After all, I can’t lose his father.”

“I know, and what I’m about to do is going to get me more than just my rights.” She holds onto her father. “I can promise you.”

“What are you planning to do?” He finally decides to listen.

-

A little over one week passed by and you and Namjoon still haven’t seen each other since you came back from the beach house, he’s been flying constantly and barely has the time to rest or see his son, and you’ve been working double shifts just to kill time.

Of course Hoseok never left you alone, even if you came back home feeling tired and sleepy, he would bring his papers and work on his cases even when you’re asleep, and by the time you’ve woken up he would’ve ordered food or cooked something. And some nights Yoongi came to sleep over when Mia went back to visit her family.

Hoseok’s plan worked perfectly as he wanted you and Namjoon to keep it low key, of course you had no idea, but he’s doing his best to protect you.

When Hoseok suddenly had “Plans” on a Friday night you knew that he’s hooking up with someone or found a new fling, of course you were home and you knew that Namjoon flies back today from Tokyo, his air carrier had shortage and they asked him to fly internationally even when he hasn’t in a long time.

“I don’t know, I don’t think I should.” You whine as you put the last dish  in the dishwasher, you’re video chatting with him as he’s driving to his place after landing. “Come on, we’re always hanging out at your place, this time I want you to come over.”

“Is Jay still in Ilsan?” You ask, you remember him telling you a few days ago that Jay’s at his grandparents’ place with his mom. “Yeah, they won’t be back until Friday.”

You take off your gloves and hang them by your sink before leaning your hand on your hip. “Namjoon, this is not a good idea.”

“Come on, please? You haven’t seen my place yet and—“ The call suddenly lags and the screen shows that the call is reconnecting, it seems to be that you’re on hold and he has another call, in the mean time you wash your hands and take the apron off before plopping down onto your bed until he connects again. “Sorry, I had to take this call.” This time his phone is in his hands as he seems to be reading something on his phone. “Are you okay?” You ask.

“Yeah, it’s an order that should be delivered to my place tonight.” He finally hangs his phone on his dashboard. “So what do you say? Should I come pick you up?”

“You don’t have to, I’ll take my car.”

“So you’re coming?” His pearly whites show in a smile wider than ever and you roll your eyes. “Alright.”

“I’ll be waiting for you, be quick okay? I’m going to order dinner.” He makes a turn, his eyes barely looking on the road as he’s trying to take quick glances of you.

“I’ll get ready right away, see you then.” You smile and wave your hands, he  waves back and blows you a kiss before hanging up.

You get up on your feet and rush to get ready, a pair of comfy jeans and an oversized button up with a pair of converse.

Namjoon on the other hand, gets home and locks the door before taking a quick glance around his  house, he starts picking up Jay’s scattered toys and putting them away into his son’s bedroom, he puts his carry on in his bedroom and gets in the shower, making sure he’s quick before you get here.

His door bell rings while he’s wrapping the towel around his  waist, he knows it’s not you because your house is a little far from his place, so he rushes to the door and opens the security cameras, he remembers  the package that was supposed to be delivered, but why is it here so early?

He opens the door and grabs the big package from the woman’s hands and puts it down. “Where do I sign?”

“Mister Kim.” She takes a single step closer and he automatically takes a step back as he feels uncomfortable and a little terrified, she lifts her hand to graze it onto his shoulder and chest as she takes another step closer, until she’s practically inside the house.

Of course it’s you who shows up at the right  time, the elevator doors opens and you take a walk down the aisle and turn to make your way to his apartment door, but what’s happening  in front you doesn’t need further explanation.

You made the effort to get him a passenger airplane Lego to put up together with him and at that second it was totally not worth the effort.

It hurts inside, and not because you’re jealous or anything, that’s way far behind you.

It hurts that you let yourself get o this place, you never got into a relationship because you know men can be heartless and mean, and now this happens right before your eyes and it physically hurts that you can’t do anything about it, you’re not the one to blame him because practically you two aren’t aa thing yet.

You can’t stop him from seeing other people, and he could so easily go hook up with someone and you can’t say anything about it, he’s a free man and he could do anything he wants, you don’t dare to take a step further, you simple put the Legos down and turn to get back into the elevator, you’re not even sure he saw you.

You don’t feel physically well and you feel the need to lean against the elevator walls, you’re hurt and you can’t deny that you’re a little… Embarrassed?

Yeah you’re embarrassed.

You’re embarrassed at the fact that the man who you told your friends was actually a good man despite he was married is apparently seeing other people, but goodness, everyone thought he was head over heels for you, how come did that happen?

Oh my god.

Your palm sits on your face when you realize how tragically stupid you sound, the man is married and you still like him??

The elevator door opens when you finally get to the ground floor and your phone starts ringing nonstop, of course it’s him. You rush to your car and get inside to drive away fast before he can catch onto you, and even when you’re now 5 minutes away from his place, he’s still calling and you finally decide to answer. “Hello?”

“Y/N, where are you?” He worriedly asks and he’s out of breath.

There’s a very clear lump in your  throat when you speak. “Oh hey, I was just going to text you that I wasn’t feeling too well.”

“Y/N, I saw the Legos, what did you see?”

You’re totally caught, and to avoid saying anything that you may regret later, you swallow and laugh awkwardly. “Namjoon, I just need some time alone, it’s okay.” By the way, it’s totally not.

“No, wait, Y/N, it’s not what it looks like.” He speaks and you immediately stop him. “Yeah, you know what, I’m pretty sure it isn’t” Of course you’re not convinced. “But I need to be alone and think some stuff through.”

“Y/N—“

“Namjoon, I need to hang up, I’m driving, okay? I’ll see you around.” You take your phone off of your ear and it takes you a few seconds to press the red button and hang up the call.

Your shoulders sulk in disappointment when you exhale, your eyelids suddenly are getting heavier by the second, you need to lay down.

Your drive home took some time, when you finally get there and lock the door, you make your way to your bed and finally lay down with your clothes still on.

It hurts a little the fact that it’s been a while since you’ve spent a Friday night on your own, not that it’s specifically Namjoon whose been hanging out with you, but it was either you working, or you having plans with your friends, but tonight, your friends had their own plans.

You end up falling asleep way too early that night with your jeans on.

Utter shit is what Namjoon wakes up feeling like, he’s sweating and his head is pounding with a headache that he never experienced before.

Yes you’re hurt, but he thinks that you should’ve listened and that you’re being unfair to him.

This is the last thing he thinks of, he’s confused and wondering since when did the mail arrive out of schedule? This woman that delivered it wasn’t even in a certain uniform or anything.

Namjoon opens his mail and bank receipts to see  that the order was made over a month ago, but he wasn’t sent a mail that the package was delivered even when he just got it.

Something smells fishy and he can’t put a finger on it.

“Bingo.”

The CCTV finally falls in his wife’s hands, she even cropped and edited the video to get the desired part on tape.

Namjoon’s lawyer wanted concrete evidence? He got it.

-

“What do you want for your birthday?” You take a sip from  your wine, you and Hoseok were spending the afternoon at Jungkook’s place.

“You don’t have to get me anything.” The younger waves his hand shyly, “I just want us to celebrate it together, we could go party somewhere.”

“But we have to get you an actual gift.” Hoseok is way too focused onto the gaming console that Jungkook has. “We’re going to get you something anyway, you would make it a little easier if you actually said what you want.”

“Do you want handmade coupons like last year?” You giggle.

You two came up with this stupid idea, when you had no idea what to get him for his birthday, he asked you to do his dishes or cook him something or even do his laundry, so you handmade coupons that he could use whenever he wants throughout the year that had several chores written on them.

“This year I’m turning 27, I want 27 different coupons.” He asks and you rolls your  eyes. “Absolutely not, you’re only getting ten.”

Hoseok finally puts down the gaming console and crosses his legs. “We’ll party tomorrow in the club, and we can have dinner on Saturday.”

“You have a birthday weekend you brat, when it was my birthday all I got from you was a pack of condoms that I still have till this day and a happy meal.” You hit his shoulder, he rubs it and pouts. “You said you liked it.”

“Yeah, I lied.”

“I’ll tell everyone on the group chat.” Hoseok grabs out his phone, Jungkook turns towards you and asks. “Can Namjoon come?”

Right when you’re about to open your mouth, Hoseok  answers. “No.”

You were going to give Jungkook the same answer, but Hoseok didn’t want Namjoon to come just because he can’t be seen in public with someone when he’s going through a divorce.

“Why?” Jungkook’s doe eyes stare at you two in confusion as Hoseok explains  to him why he can’t come. “It’s going to be alright.” Jungkook’s arm wraps around you.

“I wonder if Seokjin can come too, how is he feeling?” Hoseok changes the topic and Jungkook looks at him in confusion again. “What happened?”

“He was tested positive for covid.” You nod your head. “But he’s fine now.”

They  still don’t know what you saw a week ago, and of course they can’t know.

The next day you finally get to the club, strobe lights on and off around the place, the speakers bursting out loud music that you feel pounding inside your eardrums, it’s the end of the summer so it was really crowded, the bar stools completely full and you could barely walk inside.

You roll your eyes when you see Jungkook in a party hat on his face and a pair of shades and a birthday whistle in between his lips. “There’s the birthday boy.” You wrap your arms around him and kiss him on the cheek, he hugs you back and lifts you up. “You look incredible.”

He’s right, you were in a short green velvety dress that had spaghetti straps and a slit down the thigh. You matched it with a pair of high heels. “I know, so do you.”

Jimin hugs you right after and pulls you the chair next to him to be seated right between him and Seokjin. You spend the first few minutes catching up even when you barely can hear each other from the loud music.

“Did you tell Hoseok about what happened in the ER?” Seokjin asks, Hoseok’s head snaps fast towards you two and leans in. “What happened?”

“Namjoon’s wife came in for a medical report.”

“And did you give it to them?”

“I have a copy of it on my phone if you want to.” You take your phone out from your purse before turning to Seokjin. “But I already told Hoseok that I don’t want to be involved in this case anymore.”

“What do you mean?” Seokjin asks, while Hoseok grabs your phone from your hand to read the report. “It’s his divorce and his private life, It’s really consuming my mental wellness to just think about it.”

He understandably nods. “You’re right, that’s what I wanted to tell you from the very beginning.”

“You did a great job.” Hoseok gives you your phone back. “Did they read it?”

“Of course not, I had to lie and tell them that the court only takes closed reports.” A proud smile sits on Hoseok’s face. “Typical Y/N behavior.”

“Shut up.” You elbow him before getting up and dragging him and Seokjin to the dance floor with your drinks in your hands.

Time passed by so quick that night, you were having so much fun, and a bunch of drinks later, you and your friends are still on the dance floor and you feel yourself starting to shut down, you tap their shoulders and shout for them to hear. “I need to sit.” And they carelessly nod, you make your way to one of the bar stools and ask the bartender for a bottle of a water before looking back at the dance floor, giggling at your friends who were dancing all over Jungkook.

“Hey.” You hear a deep sound coming from behind you and you turn your head, a tall charming man leaning onto the bar with a drink in his hand, his dark hair up in a man bun and a grin sits on his plump red lips. “I’m Jaewook.”

Your eyes drift down to his hands as if your whole experience with Namjoon taught you a lesson the hard way. Your eyes are abruptly searching through his fingers for a ring which makes him follow your eye sight, you finally ask. “Are you married?”

“Excuse me?”

You don’t even blink nor repeat your question, you suddenly grow shameless and you’re not going to elaborate or take your question back, your eyebrow rises up as you maintain eye contact with him before he stutters. “N-no? I’m not.”

“I’m Y/N.” You reach your hand out to shake his, he shakes back your hand and takes a sip from his drink. “Can I buy you a drink?”

“No thanks, I’m done for tonight.” You cross your legs, you feel his eyes pierce through your entire body, his eyes are examining you head to toe, settling a little on your ass that’s sat on the stool.

You can’t not admit the man was attractive, and at this time and with your state of mind, you won’t mind flirting with him or even being flirted with, so you turn your face towards him and lean your elbow onto the bar. “Do you usually buy every girl you see a drink?”

He takes a step closer, his shoulder pressed against yours and leans closer towards your ear so you can hear him well. “Only pretty ones like you.”

You don’t know if it’s the alcohol or the fact that the last time you had sex was weeks ago, but your body is reacting upon his touch and you shiver at his breath against your ear shell.

“Are you here with someone?”

“Just my friends.” You shrug, he nods and leans in again to ask. “So no boyfriend huh?”

It takes you a second to answer, a dry lump sits in your throat and you force yourself to swallow it and shake your head. “Nope, not at all.”

His lips twitch into a tiny grin before he brushes his fingers against your shoulder, “You wanna go dance?”

You lower your head to stare at his fingers before looking up into his eyes before you smirk. “Sure.”

He puts his drink down and offers you his hand, you take it and head to the dance floor with him, his hands sit onto your hips and yours are wrapped around his neck, both your bodies swaying together.

Biology works and as a man it’s a quite normal reaction for him to feel a little aroused that a pretty girl like you is alone and drunk, you agreed to dance with him, maybe you would agree going home with him?

His face sits in the crook of your neck and he prints the wettest most softest kiss ever almost as if he’s testing waters to see if you’d be okay with more than just dancing or not.

But your drunk and hazy mind can’t comprehend anything, you giggle and lean your head back. “Namjoon stop.”

Standing in front of you, the tall handsome man’s name is long forgotten and you realize you’re fucked when the name that escapes your lips is his name.

It hits you and it hits you harder than ever, that you’re actually pretty angry at him, and you’re even more upset at the fact that he didn’t try to call you nor contact you in any way.

You press hard onto your teeth and just wish that you actually helped his soon to be ex spouse with the fake medical report, Namjoon doesn’t deserve shit.

“Namjoon?”

You totally forgot the man standing in front of you.

Your nausea is creeping onto you and you pull back with your hand hovering over your stomach. “I’m sorry, I need to go.”

You brush your shoulder against his as you walk past him to make your way towards your table, Seokjin is already sitting there drinking water. “Are you okay?”

You’re swallowing repeatedly trying to hold back from throwing up, you remember the last time this happened and it scarred you a little. But still you nod your head. “Yeah, I’m alright.”

The rest of the guys get seated and they bring out a bottle of champagne to pop and finally celebrate Jungkook’s birthday.

Yoongi lifts his glass up and starts making a toast but you’re not listening.

Your mind is somewhere else and you can’t really ignore the fact that you’re very bitter at Namjoon, he never even tried to apologize, the only thing this could mean is that you really mean nothing to him.

You scoff a little on the inside, once a cheater always a cheater, right?

He cheated on his own wife, the mother of his child with you, he could so easily go hook up with someone else and give them the same story and he won’t even be half sorry.

You take your phone out and hide it under the table before you send him a text.

“???”

Less than a minute after he reads the message before replying.

“You wanna talk?”

“To Jungkook!” Yoongi speaks and that’s the only thing you hear before clinking your glasses together. “To Jungkook.”

You take a sip from your champagne and get up onto your feet. “I need to use the bathroom, I’ll be right back.”

You make your way outside the club and unlock your phone to call Namjoon, two rings after he answers. “Hello?”

“Listen Namjoon, if you think I texted you just because I wanted to talk things through then you’re wrong, you have to know that I deserve—“

Of course your slurred speech makes it hard for him to understand and he could so easily tell that you’re drink, since the music behind you is loud enough too, he knows you’re out. “Y/N? Are you drunk?”

You squint your eyes and your hand sits on your hip before you bite at him. “This doesn’t concern you.”

“Of course it does.” He even has the audacity to argue with the coldest tone ever. “Where are you?”

“You don’t have to know.” You feel yourself barely able to stand up, the alcohol now affecting you harder than before. “You know what, I’ll see you later.”

This jerk even hangs up, your jaw falls as you stare onto your phone screen in denial, you’re fuming on the inside and you wish you could just reach your fist through the phone and punch him to ease the fire building inside you.

-

“Are you sure you can make it upstairs on your own?” Seokjin asks when he drops you in front of your building, you’re about to open your mouth for an answer but Seokjin looks behind you and smiles. “I know you’re in safe hands now, how are you?”

“I’m doing good, how are you?”

Of course it’s Namjoon, you roll your eyes and don’t even turn towards him, his hand sits on your lower back as he handshakes Seokjin. “I heard you tested positive, how are you feeling now?”

The two spend a couple minutes catching up together, of course none of your friends know about what happened with him, you didn’t want to tell them just to avoid the embarrassment, and at this exact moment when they catch up and chat specifically, you’re really glad you didn’t tell them.

“Drive safe.” You force a smile to Seokjin before he finally gets into his car and drives away, you make your way inside the building totally ignoring the fact that Namjoon is shadowing you, his hands fighting the urge to touch you, and his entire body is on standby worried that you may stumble or fall or anything.

You click the button of the elevator and cross your arms, awkward silence and tension building between the two of you , your eyelids and tongue feel heavy and you’re having a headache so of course you’re not going to argue with him.

Just treat him as if he doesn’t exist, you think.

He’s completely sober though and he’s sinking in his own pond of thoughts, wondering where to start from? How to explain himself? How should he even apologize? He knows he looks like utter trash to you now and he’s not in a good place in front of you, but he’s innocent.

The elevator door closes on the two of you and you cross your arms as you’re standing in the middle of the elevator, your eyes focused on the numbers of floors increasing every 5 seconds.

Your apartment is in the 16th floor so you know your trip is going to take some time.

He leans against the elevator walls, his eyes locked onto you from behind, his palms and back are getting sweaty even when it wasn’t a hot night, he’s nervous and he doesn’t recall the last time his fight or flight worked this hard.

The elevator rings when it stops on the desired floor and you walk out of it, your heels being the only sound heard through the aisle, you reach to your door to click onto the password and unlock it, you walk inside and he follows you in.

You lift one leg up to try and take off your heels before you stumble and lose your gait, him being on standby benefits you when he supports you with his own body, his hands sitting onto your forearms. “You’re okay, let me help you.”

You want to push him back so bad but you really can’t spare the effort to take off your heals, and if you were alone you would’ve probably slept in them. He gets down on one knee and helps you with the pair, of course you don’t bother thanking him or anything, you just make your way inside to your bedroom and put your phone and purse down.

“Namjoon—“ You start before he presses his lips against yours for one single kiss, he leans his forehead against yours with his hands hovering over your hips. “Y/N, you’re tired and drunk, please let me take care of you, and we’ll talk in the morning, okay?”

You have so many things to say but you physically can’t, your eyelids are shutting down and you feel yourself near falling asleep, you don’t remember when was the last time you were this drunk, tonight you went way overboard.

He stands behind you and his shaky hands unzip your dress before he pulls you into the bathroom, he slides your dress off of you and assists you to get in the shower, he helps you shampoo your hair and bathes you before wrapping your bathrobe around your body, his top a little wet from the water splashing onto him.

You  sit on the covered toilet before he hands you your toothbrush, you groan because you barely have the power to be seated, and he wants you to brush your teeth?

He grabs the hair dryer and dries your hair before helping you rinse your teeth and go to bed. “There you go.” He lifts the blanket for you to lay down and you do right after taking off your bathrobe, he tucks you in bed and turns off the lights, before walking to the other side and laying beside you.

-

The next morning you wake up surprisingly without a headache, you had your fair share the night before and you went to the bathroom a few times during the night, so the alcohol is probably out of your system.

You feel cold so you cuddle onto the blanket and look at the air conditioning remote to see it turned off, the weather is getting colder indeed, but you look under the blanket to find out that you’re completely naked. Your eyes almost fall from their sockets, did you come home with anyone last night?

You look over at the empty space behind you, it seems like someone slept next to you but you don’t remember who it was, were you really that drunk?

You hear your coffee machine buzzing from the kitchen which makes you flinch in bed, someone is actually with you and you’re starting to get a little scared, especially when the footsteps are getting closer to your bedroom.

You’re a little relieved but a little angry when you realize it’s Namjoon holding your favorite mug filled with coffee and walking into your bedroom. “Good morning.” His stupid dimple again, ugh.

“Yeah.” Your hand moves to your head to scratch it before you rub your eyes, and suddenly you remember everything that happened last night, well practically nothing happened, but you still remember some bits here and there. “Good morning.” You clear your throat as you sit up, holding the blanket closer to your chest, he hands you the cup of coffee and a couple pills of pain killer. “Thank you.”

You don’t need the painkillers so you put them onto the night stand and take a few sips from the coffee in order for your brain to start functioning. “How are you feeling?”

“Why are you here?” You ask calmly, your eyes not bothering to look up at him. He laughs quietly before sitting onto the edge of the bed and answers. “I know you’re mad and upset, but believe me, what you saw wasn’t true.”

“Oh so was I seeing things?” You take another sip from your coffee. “Or was I hallucinating that you were with someone else right by your door with only a towel on?”

“Y/N—“

“You know what.” You put your mug down before holding your hands together. “I’m so glad this happened, and the more I think about it, it’s fine, I just didn’t know that we were allowed to hook up with other people, it’s a good thing I found out so I don’t have to be careful, that’s all.”

The thought itself disturbs Namjoon, not the fact that you don’t believe him, but at the fact that you were implying that you can hook up with other people, he’s a little irritated at the thought of you being touched or kissed by someone other than him.

“After all, it really was just a hookup.” You shrug, he shakes his head in denial before he process a couple words out of his mouth. “It wasn’t true, I have no idea how to prove it to you but it is not true.”

You nod your head totally not convinced before grabbing your mug again and taking a few sips from it. “Can you get me something to wear?”

He rises up on his feet and opens your closet to grab you out a pair of shorts and a top. “You’re being unfair to me.”

“Okay.” You keep drinking your coffee, totally unbothered by his excuses, and it seems like he’s getting angrier by the second before he turns to you. “If I wanted to be with someone else I would’ve told you.”

“Sure.”

“And you think I would’ve messed with someone else right by the door? Where everyone can see me?” He shuts the closet, your clothes still sitting in his hand. “Nope.” You’re slowly driving him out of his mind, and it shocks you the amount of self control this man has. Even when your behavior was irritating him, he still contained himself.

“You won’t even listen when I tried to explain myself, and that was totally unfair.” He walks closer, you reach your hand out to grab your clothes, but he argues again. “I will prove it, I actually thought you trusted me, I thought we had something.”

You rub your eyes in frustration when he won’t actually hand you the clothes, “You know what, let’s just imagine if the whole thing happened with me, what would you do?”

He crosses his arms before answering. “I would actually listen before assuming anything, especially when I know that you have people around you trying to set you up like people are doing to me.”

He’s partially right, it could be someone trying to set him up and screw up his divorce.

You’re an inch away from being actually convinced, before you remember that the man once pretended to be single and never mentioned his marriage, and again you’re back to point zero.

You forgive him for doing it but you can’t forget it at all, of course you’re not going to bring it up because you agreed to hook up with him even after you knew he was involved in a relationship.

“You don’t have to prove anything to me.” You shrug your shoulders, “You can do anything you want to, you’re a free man and I can’t be in the way.”

He sighs and sits down on the edge of the bed and he whispers. “I want to be with you.”

You look into his eyes and you see regret and disappointment all over his face, similar to the time you saw him in Ilsan right after you found out about his marriage. “I don’t think I’m worthy, but I’m selfish enough to actually want you. I lied to you once and I can’t forgive myself, you were there for me every day for the past few months and it makes me feel guilty for doing you wrong so bad.”

You don’t let your emotions control you, your brain is much of a hard worker than your heart is, so you shrug again and look down. “I don’t know Namjoon, you have to give me some time, and we have to know where your divorce is going, so many things happened and I don’t think you know.”

His face changes and his eyebrows form a knot between them, “What happened?”

[a-book-of-creatures]

It’s been nagging at me for a while, so I’m going to try to put together my thoughts on the Quetzalcoatlus sequence in Prehistoric Planet 2. In the grand scheme of things it’s tiny, insignificant, and I loved Prehistoric Planet, but I’m not going to turn down the opportunity to talk at length about scavenging birds.

(Spoilers (?) for Prehistoric Planet 2 ahead. Go watch it!)

I’m talking about the part where a Tyrannosaurus is driven off from an Alamosaurus carcass (presumably carrion and not killed by the tyrannosaur). The tyrannosaur is expressly stated to be concerned about losing an eye to those Whopping Big Beaks. The pterosaurs aggressively fly over it a few times and honk angrily until the tyrannosaur walks away in Shameful Defeat, leaving the carcass to the pterosaurian pterrors.

And that confused me.

Before I go on, I want to point out that this is not a Who Would Win discussion, I’m not going to argue for or against one or another. Not going to discuss if Tyrannosaurus should really have won because of the massive weight advantage and lack of fragile bones/wings, or if the big landlubber had it coming and the numbers and aerial advantage was too much. I’m not arguing about Quetzalcoatlus being scary or not either (it’s scary as all hell).

No, the issue I had was with the beaks.

This is the Quetzalcoatlus as it appears in the show.

Impressive beak, isn’t it?

But it’s not the beak of a flesh tearer.

Let’s back up a bit. Birds that eat meat by tearing it into manageable chunks typically evolve sharp, hooked beaks to make up for the lack of teeth. Like this eagle for instance.

Majestic. They make the cutest sounds too. Look up golden eagle sounds, don’t believe the red-tailed hawk propaganda.

Raptor bills look intimidating, but they’re not there for killing. They’re cutlery. The talons do all the work, and then the beak tears up the meat into delicious gobbets of protein.

Even shrikes get in on the act. They don’t have killer feet, so they use their ripping bills to impale prey and tear at it.

Aw, look at it, it thinks it’s accipitrids.

The Quetzalcoatlus’ bill, though, doesn’t have that hook. It doesn’t look like the bill of a bird that dismembers its food. The closest thing I could think of to compare it with was stork bills. Specifically the marabou.

Ol’ pickaxe-for-a-face. This is the beak of an animal that stabs smaller prey and swallows them whole with minimum processing.

But a bill this long and pointed, turns out, is good for stabbing but not for tearing meat. Marabous are scavengers, but they won’t tear apart a carcass on their own. The “[b]ill [is] not well designed for dismembering carcasses, so [it] normally steals scraps from vultures or snatches up morsels that are dropped” (del Hoyo, Elliott, and Sargatal, 1992).

As you can see, vultures retained the hallmark accipitrid steak knife face, and are much better at Ripping and Tearing. This one (the lappet-faced vulture) generally goes first, being big and strong enough to Rip and Tear tough hide and get to the fleshy interior.

In fact, “[d]espite its huge bill, the [marabou] stork can rarely dominate a carcass and normally stands by the much more numerous vultures and nips in from time to time to snatch morsels which are dropped by others, though Tawny Eagles (Aquila rapax) in turn often steal food from the stork. The bill is not apparently very effective for cutting up meat and dismemberment is normally carried out quite simply by pulling” (del Hoyo, Elliott, and Sargatal, 1992). And if marabous have trouble with the average carcass, I wouldn’t imagine Quetzalcoatlus would fare much better with a titanosaur, which presumably has rather thick skin too.

One big happy family. That’s a much smaller carcass being shared (with the obligatory squabbling) by a whole bunch of dinosaurs. Neither vultures nor marabou are trying to monopolize it.

So... I don’t see why the big stork pterosaurs would chase away a perfectly good meat processor. I know everyone wants to see Big Prehistoric Animals Fighting With Lethal Intent, and everyone wants to see Tyrannosaurus Getting Knocked Down A Peg By The New Hotness, but I think it would have been a more interesting and believable scene - not to mention more in keeping with Prehistoric Planet’s attempt to be as scientifically believable as possible - if the pterosaurs acted like marabous the size of giraffes, both them and the tyrannosaur keeping a respectful distance of each other, and snapping up bits of meat left behind. And maybe the pterosaurs pulling the dinosaur’s tail for good measure, the way ravens bully eagles.

But it would make for a much less exciting scene. Who wants to watch a bunch of scavengers milling around a carcass and honking at each other as they jockey for the best morsels and settling their differences in ways that involve as little risk as possible? I mean, I do, but I don’t assume the average viewer does.

And that concludes my altogether far too long opinion on a single scene from a great series. Of course, I’m not a paleontologist and never will be, I’m only approaching this with what I know about birds, so please feel free to let me know if there’s any details of Quetzalcoatlus anatomy that do in fact suggest it could rip and tear!

References

del Hoyo, J.; Elliott, A.; and Sargatal, J. eds. (1992) Handbook of the Birds of the World, Vol. 1. Lynx Edicions, Barcelona.

[cu7ie]

How big you think toman boys dicks are?

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀૮₍´｡• ᵕ •｡`₎ა excellent question.

cw; cock convention (you'll see), talk about dicks and balls at length. minor mentions of sex alongside.

hey I'm a 'bigger is better' kinda guy, so this is a biased as fuck list. Also this is basically a dick disambiguation, a dong dissertation; look @ me doing what no one asked for (with much love ofc).

In my mind, body, heart and soul I want to say Sano Manjiro is slanging serious cock. 

I don’t know if it’s because I am devastatingly aroused by this man or what, but baaabes the way I want to say he has a thick, fat eight incher broooo.

But I'm going to be so real, I don’t honestly think it’s that big. It's definitely longer than average; a nice six inches and thicker around the middle, got good weight to it, flushed a pretty peach pink and slightly crooked. He leans left and sticks out (points forward) when he's hard. 

MANJIRO HAS HUGE NUTS. Spiritually and sexually. He has a nice tight sack so it feels like you're holding a weighted pouch; overall, pretty penis. Would suck it, would fuck it, good allrounder. He is uncircumcised.

Second-in-command Ken Ryuguji got a lil sumn sumn he's working with, too. The thickness of his dick is pretty standard, but the boy has length. He's reaching up into places you didn't even know things could go; discovering new constellations with the way he's making you see stars.

He's a healthy 7.4 inches (and yes I am giving them decimal sizes, bite me) with a smooth ball sack (that hangs, mind you) because Draken takes care to groom himself regularly. He indulges in a little bush above his cock, but likes to keep it nice and pretty for the ladies and the gentlemen. He’s pale as opposed to pink, with a little ridge, or vein rather, that runs along the underside of his shaft. It isn’t crooked, doesn’t lean one way or the other. Draken is circumcised.

Takemichi Hanagaki has a pretty typical penis - groomed but not overly so, uncircumcised. He’s at a standard 5 inches, just shy of five n’ a half.  It’s adorable, the way it sticks straight up when he’s hard, getting angrily red at the tip as precome dribbles down the head.

Takemichi has cute nuts. They are dainty and a little hairy.

Keisuke Baji is so close to having the whole 7 inches. He stops short at about 6.9, with dark wiry black hair surrounding the base, trimming very very occasionally. It’s heavy and bobs up against his stomach whenever he’s horny. He’s also uncircumcised. His penis is a few shades darker than the rest of his skin, and its slightly redder when he’s fully hard. 

What you gotta watch out for is how thick it is! Bro can plug you up without issue, stretches holes with absolutely no problem, proper prep is mandatory just so you don’t wind up all loosey goosy when he’s finished with ya.  His balls are a tad smaller than average, nestled cutely beneath a big ol’ bully. 

Kisaki Tetta has a small dick. It’s barely 4 n’ a half; bro probably has pebbles for nuts idk. He is extremely well groomed, almost to the point of obsessive trimming and sometimes hair plucking. The enigma that is Kisaki Tetta’s genitals is most accurately referred to as a ‘chode’. The most notably girthy penis, as though to offset its uh .. longitudinaly challenged nature.

It’s cute I guess. Would look the cutest with a bow on it. Circumsized. Not tanned like the rest of his skin, a little awkwardly pale actually.

Pah-chin and Peh-yan, have roughly similar dicks. Pah-chin’s is chubby and about five inches, Peh-yan’s is a little skinnier and a little longer but not by much. Neither of them really overly care for grooming - but Pah-chin gets on the band wagon first after he meets his girlfriend (eventual wife). Peh-yan is a classic rebel w/o a cause, shaves but can’t do it well so he has some velcro feeling deal. Feels like handling a cactus. 

Pah-chin has fat balls. 

Peh-yan does not. But he has a very noticable curve to his penis; it bends to the left. Neither of them have been circumsized.

Single mother Mitsuya’s dick looks so pretty & perfect that you’re so jealous he doesn’t put himself on display for the world to see. He’s about 6.4 inches, with a juicy vein that appears on one side (left) whenever he’s about to cum. His dick is generally the same shade as the rest of him, but the tip is flushed the cutest red, a silver prince albert adorning his cock - absolutely fine piece of jewlery.

A uniform thickness up down n all around, nice succulent balls that fit perfectly in your mouth, uncircumsized. You can’t miss with that one. 

Shuji Hanma is intimidating off of his size alone. He’s on the skinnier side, but the eight mouth-watering inches he whips out of his pants would make any whore scramble to close their legs. It has a bit of a taper, thickest at it’s base and getting slightly narrow toward the head. It’s a little crooked.

 A man who cares a lot about style, he maintains a thick but very neat and symmetrical bush. His balls fit pretty snugly in the palm of your hands. They’re a little wrinkly, but not the worst you’ve ever seen.

Those bitches hang. Whenever he fucks the pap pap sound of his balls clapping the back of your ass is so prevalent its a little hypnotizing and disorienting. Hanma is circumsized. 

Mean Mr. Muto Yasuhiro is probably the biggest you’ve seen out of the line up. He stands at a polite eight point four, and though slightly bigger than Hanma he is thicker by a decent amount. Any partner of Muto’s often has trouble finding someone who can stack up - after he pounds the shape of his dick into them, nothing else can satisfy. He has an uncircumsized dick and enough foreskin that he has a noticeable hood. He shears himself all the way down, not a bush or even a lick of hair above his dick. He doesn’t do much with his balls besides trim them. Muto has a nice pair of huevos - they look like two larger than average eggs. 

Chifuyu has a cute dick, but the size he’s working with is pretty common. He’s five and some odd inches, a little skinny at the base but thick at the top. He has a very nice cockhead, perfectly shaped like a mushroom cap, looks like it might be fun to suck on. When it’s hard it bounces up against his stomach, raring to go.

I personally believe Nahoya has dick game on 100, but isn’t packing never before seen heat. He’s just shy of six inches, typical thickness… 

His balls look nice.  He’s uncircumsized but has a very minimal amount of foreskin, a nicely rounded cockhead and a slight upward curve that can really make a bitch arch their back y’kno? 

Hakkai has a big ol’ dick he’s too embarassed to do anything with. He’s seven in a half inches and worries exponentially about breaking his partners in half. The boy has girth, he’s trying to have fun, not put his honey in a hospital bed. Hakkai isn’t really wise to all that manscaping biz, but he doesn’t grow much hair down their naturally. 

His dick so heavy that it hangs down low, and honestly he’s a little embarrassed about his size. The apprehension in his partners eyes, something about it squeezes his heart in the least pleasant of ways. Phat nuts obviously (this is me we’re talking about) that rest very snugly beneath his cock. Circumsized.

Souya doesn’t think his dick is anything special because he has 0 frame of reference - what’s average, what’s small. He’s definitely bigger than average, a healthy 6.7 inches with fat nuts full of cum to boot. It’s really nice. Well proportioned, mouth watering kind of cock - with a curly little nest of hair. Emphasis on little - Souya appreciates good hygiene. 

His dick is really sensitive too. Handjobs can turn him into a whiny mess, never mind a warm mouth or a wet hole. Uncircumsized.

Sanzu has a nice seven inches, on the skinny side and wholly pale like the rest of his body. He really doesn’t know how to handle the thing, awkward instead of suave, mostly worried about getting the sensation without paying mind or merit to how to angle it to make you moan like how those pornstars he’s seen do. It frustrates him to no end, but he’s also stubborn and doesn’t like being instructed - just prefers you take it and not complain. He is circumsized. 

Last but not least, Kazutora. He’s not coming out on top, but he’s decently thick all around - not as thick as Baji but by heavens and lords above he knows how to use it. He actually prefers blowjobs to some extent so he can see and hear you gag - makes him feel much bigger. He has unremarkable balls. They exist, nothing to write home about. He has really soft hair, so when he’s ramming his cock down your throat, you don’t feel like you’re kissing a cactus - which is a nice change of pace.

He’s about 6.3 inches, and is uncircumcised. 

[pokemenlovingmen]

Hey there! I didn't see who you write for on your page, so I'll include a couple of characters in case you don't write for one of them.

Can you do a GN or Male!Reader x either Arven or N, please? Just some cuddles and quality time, because I am pretty sure that's what most of us crave!

Thank you!

-First Anon

Ohhh yeah I know what you mean, cuddly fluff is always what I crave! Hopefully people who come for my content have similar interests, lmao. :) I went with a male reader because yknow… these are some guys I have a man crush on.

But yeah!! Cuddles with dudes I have fictional crushes on!! Pokemon gave me a great gift in the form of two fruity dudes with long hair and familial issues who are my age.

cw: child neglect (given who these are about…)

Cuddling Headcanons with a Male Reader for Arven and N

Arven

🥪 — Arven is hesitant with physical affection at first, just because he’s really not used to it. Like what do you mean… you want to put your arms around him because you love him?? Are you okay??

🥪 — Arven’s always been of the mind that acts of service are the only way to win the love of someone from previous experience, after all working so hard at school and home upkeep always earned praise from his mom/dad even if they weren’t there physically.

🥪 — Given you’re both guys, he’s also kinda shy about the relationship at first. Now, Paldea is one of the most queer-accepting regions you could be in, but it’s still, yknow. Not considered “normal”. People might stare, or say something. He’s no doubt in love with you but the potential negative attention scares the shit out of him.

🥪 — But when he does open up? God, he’s the biggest cuddlebug. He tried physical intimacy once and now he’s addicted.

🥪 — You can hold him, he can hold you, he doesn’t care, just being close is enough. If you’re shorter than him, he’ll usually rest his chin on your head and hum happily. If you’re taller than him, he’ll usually bury his face in your chest.

🥪 — Play with his hair and he’ll die a little bit. If you’re able to see his face, he’ll be wearing the biggest and dumbest smile the whole time. It’s best not to mix this with compliments because you WILL kill him.

🥪 — If you’re a weighted blanket enjoyer, you’ll never need one, because he can snap his fingers and suddenly there’s a massive weighted blanket with legs, a tail and a big furry face on top of you both.

🥪 — So as if you didn’t already have the pleasure of cuddling up to such a sweet guy, you also have his huge dog. Nights are never cold when you’re with these guys.

🥪 — He’s lowkey kind of a house husband of a boyfriend and he likes doing things like cooking meals for you, especially surprising you with breakfast, but that can be hard if you guys fell asleep cuddled up to each other. He doesn’t wanna climb out of this :(

🥪 — He’ll just kind of talk and ramble about nothing in particular while you guys snuggle if you let him. How his day was, how Mabosstiff is doing, compliments and things he loves about you, new recipes, funny stories, all that. Sort of comes to a point where even he doesn’t really know what he’s talking about, he’s just sort of talking to talk because he’s not too fond of dead silence.

🥪 — He’s yours, alright. Even if he was nervous about the relationship at first, Arven’s a happy, happy guy. And he’ll take any chance he gets to cuddle up to you.

N

💚 — His relationship with touch is complicated. That and the whole concept of cuddling and just having someone’s weight against him.

💚 — I feel like sleeping at night he switches regularly between “literally the thinnest blanket is a constricting prison” to “this weighted blanket isn’t enough I need to be buried alive”

💚 — So you can only cuddle with him on touch-positive days, but N’s fallen into a good rhythm with you and is very communicative of where his boundaries are at at any given time.

💚 — Pokemon have no concept of sexuality, and no social constructs that dedicate one sexuality as more “acceptable” than the other, so neither does he. Not that he’s the biggest PDA person on earth, but he’s not at all nervous about you two openly being together. Yeah we gay, keep scrolling

💚 — If he’s in the mood for contact while you guys are out and about it’ll usually be while you’re sitting, he likes leaning against you and resting his head on your shoulder. I would say that would make the perfect date, taking him on the ferris wheel on a touch-positive day, but who am I kidding, he’d be too fascinated to rest with you then.

💚 — As one could guess by looking at him, he’s LIGHT. You could pick him up and sling him over your shoulder like a sack of potatoes, provided you are tall enough to support all his lankiness.

💚 — You can play with his hair if you want, he’ll undo his ponytail for you, but I can’t imagine it’s actually all that soft. Probably pretty coarse and tangled to be honest, given his upbringing, tending to his hair was never a prerogative. If you can’t stand it being a Rattata’s nest, though, he’ll rather contentedly let you brush it—through he might twitch or squirm a bit, just because the feeling of the brush going through his hair is NOT something he’s used to.

💚 — He spooks you from time to time on his touch-negative days, because you can roll over in bed at any given time and find him just. Staring at you. It’s a stare of pure love, but his eyes do have a kind of naturally vacant look that’s startling at first. Baby you have the haunting thousand-yard-stare of a possessed victorian child

💚 — When he is in the mood for cuddles, he really likes them at night before bed. Specifically right after you shower, because he loves the smell of your shampoo still lingering on your hair. It’s just so completely… you. And he loves that.

💚 — Fall asleep cuddling him and he will become a limp corpse though. An actual ragdoll. Don’t toss and turn too hard or you’ll break him. He’s fragile. And by that I mean if you roll over onto one of his arms he will be stuck there.

💚 — He’ll also chatter on endlessly if you let him, but unlike the sandwich man above, he can be a little harder to understand because he both talks super fast and lays out his words the same as he does his thoughts, which are hard for people other than him to understand. But he knows this, and he’s just happy that you listen, even if you don’t get all of it. And he’s happy to be able to talk, to be heard, to just… say things and not have them carry the weight of the world when he does. Normal conversation is a beautiful treat to him. Oftentimes he’ll talk himself right to sleep, but between being in your arms and getting to speak his mind on all these simple things, he sleeps really easy when he does drift off.

[capn-twitchery]

I love your ocs but I fear I am a bit out of touch with some of their lore. how much does Grace know about the red honey fuckery?

thank you sm!! :D♥︎ don't worry--i'm not sure i've actually spoken about this a whole lot!! (plus my lore is scattered around random posts like a ransom note. imagine being organised, couldn't be me)

for context: the two of them are a ridiculously slow slowburn bc neither of them know how to talk about feelings, they go in different directions a lot, twitch's response to Having Feelings (or anything) is to disappear to zee. everything takes forever. there's a summary of their timeline here if you want it !!

ANYWAY to answer:

tl;dr summary: most of the time, nothing! eventually, more than anybody else.

so, for most of the time, grace knows absolutely nothing. nobody does, really--twitch doesn't tell anybody, they don't want to talk about it, nobody sees their face at all.

as far as anyone knows, including grace, twitch's bad memory, lying & inconsistent stories are just a personality quirk. and they get sick sometimes, they just need bedrest & won't be available for a few hours, a day, a couple of days. nobody is allowed to see them.

grace remains mostly unaware for a long time--he has inklings that something is up. once he gets to know twitch better, he can tell they're not themself sometimes. but prying would push twitch away, so he just offers help, if they want company, for their headaches the surgeon mentioned. he'll leave the cabin door unlocked, just in case.

he has no idea how bad the "headaches" are until it's happening right in front of him, once they're close enough for twitch to trust him to that degree. he has no idea why it's happening, but he knows twitch doesn't want to tell him, either. and when they're sobbing in his lap, pleading for something he doesn't understand to stop, begging him to help them tie a blindfold because they don't want him to see their face, it's not exactly the time to pry.

it happens a few times. it never gets easier, and it never gets any clearer. it's not til after grace leaves for the new sequence and comes back that he finally sees their face uncovered. he doesn't connect any dots-whether that's because he genuinely just doesn't make the connection, or because twitch doesn't want him to make a big deal about it, who knows!

while he was gone, twitch starts connecting some dots: something's weird with their memories. they don't know how to process it. they bring it up subtly, ask grace if he knows anything about red honey, and maybe he can figure it out himself. he tells them he does, he learned about it during nemesis, in the palace cage gardens. it still haunts him, sometimes, the prisoners with their crying, the suffering the hollow looking eyes-

the eyes.

everything clicks all at once-twitch's eyes, their headaches, the memory issues, the inconsistencies, the lies. it only gets worse when twitch tells him they're starting to wonder if the memories are all theirs.

oh, god. how could anybody do that to them? who did that to them? but twitch doesn't want him on any kind of revenge mission, they don't even think they remember where the cage garden was, and they don't want to try either. he settles for comforting them the best he can-but what can anyone do to help, really?

at the very least, trusting someone enough to talk about it is a huge weight off twitch's shoulders. grace can help them try to figure out what's going on with their memories, it makes them better at talking to each other. it's not easy, but it helps twitch to move forward-slowly, but surely

[crazylittlejester]

(I apologize in advance because this'll be a long one for I have so much to say)

Malon proposed to Time and it was the cutest thing ever and it made Time so red he thought he caught a fever.

Warriors may look thin, but that man could easily carry both Time and Twilight (with their armor on) without breaking a sweat. My man swings a huge ball and chain around that could easily be a few hundred pounds, he's shredded beneath those clothes.

Twilight has both the triforce of courage and power, and often uses the blessing from the triforce of power more often.

Hyruke has all three segments of the triforce. He uses the blessing from the triforce of wisdom the most.

Wild does not have a triforce price, neither does Flora, as in their era the triforce has been hidden away in the sacred realm.

All the Zeldas are taller than their Link. Even if by an inch, they are taller (With the biggest height difference being between Time and Lullaby, as she towers him by a good foot. The hardest to see is Sky and Sun, as she is only an inch taller.)

Four has a fear of every insect except for spiders, which makes him the only Link to not have arachniphobia.

Legend has fist fought a child before. No I will not elaborate.

If sleepy or pissed off, both Twilight and Warriors shift into their native tongues (I like to think Ordon is based in an Eastern European country, so I will happily be spreading my Hungarian Twilight agenda thank you very much.)

The most passive aggressive person in the group is Sky, as he gets tired of being all nice when somebody is being a prick but doesn't want to be outright rude.

Wind thinks Time's and Twilight's facial markings are cool and wants his own.

Time is short and his boots make him taller. He is around the same height as Sky without them, and Malon is taller than him too. It's because the lost forest didn't really have enough food for him to grow properly, so he's short now.

Wind, Warriors, and Time all have some sort of PTSD relating to the FD mask. (Warriors nearly died during battle because a possessed young Time didn't realize he was a friend and not a foe. Wind was forced to wear it once during battle and doesnt want to be near it after the pain it cause him. Time is basically fusing with the Deity with how often he wore it in his youth.)

Wild is not fully mortal and is considered half dead, so certain beings either like him or hate him more for it. (Fairies tend to avoid him while spirits tend to trust him).

Four can still see the Minish despite being considered to old to. They sometimes help if the chain gets lost.

Hyrule is not the field medic, it's actually Legend and Warriors.

Sky talks about Sun so much that everybody assumed they were already married. It surprised everyone when he revealed they weren't engaged yet.

During the events of the story, Malon is pregnant with her and Time's first child. The child is born after Time returns permanently, and it is Twilight's mom!

Everybody has cuddled Twilight, either it be when he was Wolfie or not, he has been cuddled.

Warriors is his Ganondorf's son, and the only ones to know is Time, Wind and Twilight. Wild somewhat knows due to the ruins he and Flora once found from his era, though he isn't quite sure.

Wild is not the only foodie in the group. All the boys can eat their own weight and not gain a single pound afterwards. They all love food and love trying different dishes from all places.

Certain Hyrules have myths and folklore about monsters we know about (such as ghouls, vampires, werewolves and such). For example, Hyrule thought Twilight was a werewolf after learning he was Wolfie and kept placing silver objects on top of him while he was on bedrest. (Which did nothing since Twilight isn't a werewolf.)

Hylia heavily favors Wild and Sky the most out of all the boys. (Since I like the idea of BOTW and TOTK being direct sequels to SS instead if further down the timeline)

Dark Link is an amalgamation of all the Link's darkest desires. He also has the ability to shift into any of the others if he focused enough of his energy to do so.

Twilight has committed cannabilism before. His wolfish instincts got the better of him, and the guy was trying to hurt Legend. Legend hasn't spoken about it since the incident, and only they know.

All the Links have eaten something inedible and every time they do it infront of Malon she does the clutching her pearls gesture and it's really cute.

I have so many more but I'm to tired to continue. I hope you're taking care of yourself ♥

You have no need to apologize I absolutely LOVE reading people’s headcanons, feel free to stop by my ask box and tell me ur headcanons whenever you’d like :)

1. I firmly believe this was the case, Malon absolutely proposed to him. I also believe she can pick him up and carry him around

2. I have a post I’m planning on making soon about body types but I am a FIRM believer that just because Warriors is thin doesn’t mean that man isn’t strong. He’s incredibly thin looking, the kind of guy you’d assume you can see his ribs, and people underestimate his strength because of it. Yes, physically there isn’t a whole lot of him, but that’s because he has very low body fat because it’s all muscle. To me he has a build similar to female ballet dancers. Very small and you wouldn’t assume he’s capable of much if you just saw him out and about, but when he’s in his element, NO ONE doubts his strength

3. EVERY ZELDA IS TALLER THAN EVERY LINK REAL. Personally I think Sky and Sun are like the same exact height from a distance, but if you look real close, she’s taller

4. The concept that Four is the only one who wouldn’t scream and absolutely loose it at the sight of a spider made me laugh. I wholeheartedly agree with you on that one

5. Legend vs. Child (chid won)

6. Hungarian Twilight is super cool! I really like that headcanon :)

7. Sky is FOR SURE the most passive aggressive because all the others would probably get at least a LITTLE snappy but Sky would whip out a customer service voice but there would be no light in his eyes

8. Wind absolutely asked for a face tattoo and Time definitely had to shut him down.

9. THE IDEA THAT TIME IS WALKING AROUND WITH LIKE 3 INCHES OF HEEL IN HIS BOOT IS HILARIOUS. I personally think he’s about 5’8 and roughly Malon’s height in Jojo’s au, but for my own interpretation of him He Is 5’5.

10. I have a headcanon that Wild’s eyes are more of a glowly sheika blue since he was brought back. I think there’s probably something slightly off about him that gives people and animals an uncanny sense about him, even though he’s very sweet and nice, something about him just feels odd

11. Four can always see the minish, I firmly believe that

12. WARRIORS IS THE FIELD MEDIC AND I’LL DIE ON THAT HILL. Sure the others know basic first aid and such, but Warriors has the most medical knowledge and training, though I like to think he teaches what he knows to Hyrule because Hyrule is curious

13. My personal headcanon is that Twilight is Time’s great grandson, but Time lived long enough to be able to meet his son’s daughter, who is Twilight’s mom. I like to think Twilight’s mom would’ve sung him songs she learned from Malon

14. Twilight is definitely one of the more cuddly members of the group, he’s definitely down for hugs you just gotta ask him first

15. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a headcanon that Wars is Ganondorf’s son but that’s cool! I headcanon that his father died in the army💀💀💀 He just gives me absent/dead father energy

16. I think Hylian folklores and myths are definitely wildly different throughout the eras, and it probably extended to the heroes as well! Like imagine an ‘Old Hylian Myth’ and it basically says that Sky is a giant or something and the others all meet this great hero of the skys and he’s 5’4

17. I can imagine Malon being like “Wild what are you making?” and he just goes “Monster parts stew :3”

I loved reading all of these! I hope you’re taking care of yourself as well :)

[sequincult]

Return of the Floyd Part 3

(part 1 can be read here) (part 2 can be read here) No matter how stressful the last day may have been the sun will always rise anew, a light dew rests gently upon each blade of grass in troll village. Floyd yawns and stretches as he steps out of the pod, some sleep and a quick bath had him feeling much better than yesterday. 

Though he’d half expected Poppy to be slamming on his door at 5am, oddly she’s nowhere to be seen.

“HIYA FLOYD!” Poppy appears behind Floyd, seemingly out of thin air.

“AAAAAA!!!????” Floyd shrieks in the highest region of his vocal register. “Where were you??”

“Oh you know, I might of hid in your pod and slept there in case you needed anything…” she coyly swings on her heels.

“What??” Floyd thought as he pondered how the hell he could have missed a neon pink troll hiding in his bedroom. “I guess I appreciate the concern?” He replies, careful not to offend her.

“OK Great! We better get going, I’ll lead the way! Oh and yeah, I brought you this.”

She hands Floyd a simple green glove.

“What for?”

“It’s to cover up your hand silly! If other trolls see you like that they might get nervous!”

“Oh. Right.” While he was away Floyd had forgotten how skittish pop trolls can be.

“Sorry if it’s not really your style…”

‘Not his style’ was something of an understatement, it didn’t match his jeans or his hair, but he knew he’d have to wear it just in case.

“It’ll do for now. Thanks.”

After slipping on the glove the pair make their way into the depths of the forest. There’s an uncomfortable quietness for the first ten minutes or so, neither of them know each other very well after all. Poppy hates the feeling of awkwardness crawling down her spine, so she tries to break the ice.

“So uh, hey Floyd? What was Branch like when he was younger?”

“Well… he was a very cute baby, and he loved wearing those ridiculous giant glasses John gave him.” he giggles. “As he got older he really liked to try and help us all out, even though he wasn’t physically able to most of the time. Being a baby and all. But him and I ended up very close, especially as Brozone started to fall apart…”

Poppy’s stride suddenly halts, as if the earth stopped moving and its weight fell entirely upon her feet.

“WAIT…You’re THE Floyd? BROZONE Floyd??” She begins hyperventilating, and if she shakes anymore she’d likely explode.

“Crap.” Floyd suddenly remembers that he’s actually talking to another troll and not just himself. “Oh haha yeah.. that’s me.” he forces his mouth into a somewhat disturbing grin. “The sensitive one…”

Poppy’s mind spins with endless thoughts. She LOVED Brozone… How did she not notice he was THAT Floyd. He has to be joking right? And anyway, there’s no way Branch could’ve been in a boyband! The thought of that alone was enough to break her out of her stupor.

“So that means Branch has FIVE brothers right? No, wait…. You said glasses” Her eyes sparkle as she puts the pieces together. “That must mean Branch was-“

“Bitty B?” Floyd interjects. “Haha! That was him alright… Though it’s-“ he sighs deeply. “It’s just hard to imagine. Seeing how he is now.” His mood turns dour, his steps a little more laboured. “Hey, could we maybe talk about something else? It’s kinda hard to think about what happened back then.”

“Oh! Sorry, sorry. I’ll try and think about something else” she replies, still noticeably vibrating with excitement.

After a few more minutes of silent walking, Poppy simply can’t hold in her curiosity any longer.

“So… do you have any photos of Branch when he was a baby?”

“POPPY.” Floyd turns to her and snarls. “What did I just say?” 

“ACK!!! Ohmygosh I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to it’s just… I was kind of a huge Brozone fan as a kid and that part of me is freaking out right now. I’m really sorry, I had no idea being in the band was so difficult for you.”

He immediately feels bad for yelling. It wasn’t like him to shout like that, and it’s not like she really knows anything about his relationship with his brothers.

“Look, I’m sorry for losing my temper. There’s no way you could have known how rough things got by the end, and after we broke up we all left and stayed silent about what happened.”

“Well, what did happen?”

He rolls his eyes for what feels like the hundredth time and smirks.

“You know, I think I’ve talked enough about my troubled past for one day, maybe some other time.”

“Well hey, thanks for saying what you have, It’s been cool getting to know you.”

Floyd can’t help but admit to himself that it’s nice to talk to someone about this stuff. His ex had hardly been much of a listener, and most Brozone fans just wanted to hear about obnoxious gossip and rumours. Poppy might be a little intense sometimes, but she’s probably the kindest troll he’s ever met.

After walking for what feels like forever, Poppy jumps and points excitedly.

“Hey Floyd look! We’re almost here!!”

“Really? But this looks like any other part of the forest we’ve walked through.” He squints as if doing so will reveal anything.

“Ahah! That’s where you’re wrong… You see, Branch’s bunker can be located by looking for one GIANT rock with three smaller rocks placed on it’s right hand side. Then you check that the plant to the left of the rock has five leaves. Branch always trims it down to five…”

“Wow, you sure know a lot about him.” He sighs, feeling guilty that someone he’d only met yesterday knows more about his brother than he does.

“Oh y’know just a little bit! Nothing much haha! So anyways… you go crouch in those bushes over there, and I’ll try and talk to him. He CANNOT know you’re here or he’ll probably freak out or something.”

“You’re probably right, I’ll go hide over here and try not to look like a complete weirdo.” he sasses before scurrying off into the trees.

Once Floyd is far enough away Poppy waltzes over to Branch’s bunker. She kneels down to the entrance and knocks as politely as she can muster (which is still pretty forceful).

“Hello, Branch? Good morning Branch! Are you awake? I need to talk to you about something.”

The small flap in the grass tilts up slightly to reveal his gloomy eyes and little more.

“Oh, Poppy. It’s you. Let me guess… You’re hosting yet another idiotic soiree and for some godforsaken reason you want me to come. Yeah, it’s a no.”

“Oh Branch. While I am planning on hosting an ‘idiotic soiree’, that’s actually not what I’m here for.” She responds with a slight smug air.

Branch lifts the flap up a little higher, curious. “So what are you here for then? Oh god, it’s about Floyd isn’t it.”

“NO! It’s not.” She frowns as Branch glares into her soul until she finally breaks.

“Okay! Okay! Yeah it’s about Floyd.”

“I knew it. He’s set you up to come beg and plead to me to be nice to him because he’s too much of a coward to do it himself. Typical… I haven’t needed him in my life for over a decade and that’s not gonna change.” His tone saddens slightly. “He only wants me to like him again so he can feel better about himself anyway.”

“That’s not true Branch! He really, really cares about you! Besides, this is more important than you and him getting along. Floyd is… well, effectively homeless and has nowhere to go. My dad’s letting him stay in one of the guest pods for now but he can’t live there forever! Please, let him stay with you.”

“Ha, not a chance. He left me alone, why should I help him? Why is it that I’m the one that always has to compromise.”

“But he didn’t leave you alone! Sure it was naive to think everything would be fine with your grandma but-“

“Don’t you dare use my grandma as way to guilt trip me in to letting Floyd stay here! He’s a grown man now. He can handle himself.” He turns and starts to lower himself back into the bunker. Poppy panics and tries to hold the entrance open with her foot.

“No, no, Branch! I wasn’t going to do that! I would never say anything like that to you! Please, just listen to me!”

“I’ve done enough listening thank you very much! Now, I think it’s time for you to GO.” His voice breaking into a shout.

“Branch! Listen!”

“Nope.”

“BRANCH!”

“NooOOoope!” He snarks in an utterly infuriating tone, putting as much stress as possible on the ‘p’ sound.

“GRRRR! FINE THEN! WAIT. HERE.” Poppy screams before she stomps off in a seemingly random direction. Branch is genuinely startled at her reaction, he’d never heard her shout like that. Or any other troll for that matter. He was glad she was gone though, otherwise she may have noticed him softly blushing. Yet before he can sneak his way back into his home, she’s returned. And with… Floyd?

“LOOK AT HIS HAND. NOW.” She grabs his arm and flings the glove from his palm, revealing its faded tone.

“SEE? FLOYD’S HAND TURNED GREY BEFORE HE RETURNED AND HE NEEDS YOUR HELP. OK???” Tears are starting to form in her eyes as Floyd glances awkwardly toward Branch, who has still barely processed his presence.

“I-I, why didn’t you just tell me he was here I…” 

“I guess I wrongly assumed you might actually listen to me. And after your argument yesterday neither of us thought it would be a good idea for both of us to talk. You can understand that, right?”

“I suppose…” he looks over at his brother, feeling a tinge of remorse. “Look, I’m likely a complete moron for saying this but.. come in. Both of you. BUT you can’t stay here, ok?” He concedes.

Poppy and Floyd nod gently at each other as they enter the elevator, ready to descend and unsure of what’s to come. Whatever happens, at least it’s progress.

[raine-blxssxm]

Hi guys! In honor of my 1 year anniversary on tumblr (according to the app) and me not posting anything for over 5 months (sorry 😅), I decided you guys deserved a Kennelia oneshot that I wrote. I won’t keep you waiting so without further ado, hope you guys like it!:

The year is 2047..

Kenneth was in his lab running some tests for this out of pocket theory he had instead of sleeping. It had been at least the 3rd night in a row where he had gotten an idea for an experiment while trying to get some sleep. As he typed about his trials on his computer, his mind began drifting elsewhere. Of course- his hands already knew what to type, but Kenny couldn’t help but think about the latest broadcast of “Late Night with Jimmy”. His friend had a special guest visiting his show that night, someone who they both had known all too well.

Once Kenny’s flame, now a broadway icon, he couldn’t stop thinking about the woman’s appearance on his still relatively close friend’s show. It was like the universe wanted him to suffer, like it never wanted him to move on from Amelia. Kenny was finally on his feet again, finally making a name for himself, and then moments like this happen where he can’t do anything else but reminisce about his lover. Yeah he had other relationships growing up, he occasionally thinks about Tammy and Kelly, but none of them lasted as long as Amelia did. None of them ever compared to the lasting impact Amelia had on him.

He recalls how Jimmy asked Amelia questions about her husband Oscar and how their 5-year anniversary is rapidly approaching. Kenny couldn’t help but feel as if Jimmy didn’t want to ask that question- like Jimmy knew that he’d be watching that night. He knew that his friend wouldn’t do that him, it was likely just one of his writers adding it in to stir the pot of publicity..But still, whenever he thinks of the smile on Amelia’s face as she talks about her marriage he can’t help but feel a huge weight fall on his chest. Kenny couldn’t comprehend how she was able to move on so fast-

Did those 10+ years mean nothing to her? Did HE mean nothing to her-? No..That possibly couldn’t be true, right? Amelia loved him so much and she made sure he knew that everyday. Their separation was neither of their faults. Kenny knew Amelia wanted to follow her lifelong dream and Amelia knew that Kenny had to prioritize his little sister’s care more than anything. They could’ve made do with long distance, but everyone around them constantly told them it wouldn’t work out. Now that Kenny thought about it, they shouldn’t have listened to what everyone was telling them, but that can be unpacked another day.

The more Kenny saw photos of Amelia and her husband, the more he thought about how it should’ve been him. He should’ve been the one to get on his knees with the ring, he should’ve been the one to walk with her down the red carpet, he should’ve been there with her in New York, but he also knew he had to finish raising his little sister in South Park all that time ago. Does he regret staying in town with Karen for a couple years? Absolutely not, he loves his sister. But at the same time he still can’t move on from Amelia after a whole decade.

Instead of thinking about what could’ve been, his mind moves to a particular memory from 4th grade. There was a school dance that he had mustered enough courage to ask out Amelia to and he didn’t know what to wear (the dance was 3 days away). He had gone to Amelia’s house because she couldn’t contain herself from showing the dress that she was going to wear to him. The dress, just like anything else she had ever worn, was absolutely stunning on her.

Blue was a color that was out of the ordinary for Amelia but my god did she know how to pull it off, not to mention the maroon accents that complimented her as always. As Kenny was caught up marveling at her appearance, Amelia had asked him if he knew what he was going to wear, to which he hesitantly replied with a no. To be fair, the only tuxedo he had owned finally outgrew him and he was far too poor to afford another one. He thought about stealing one of his dad’s fake tuxedo shirts but he knew he had to do better, Amelia deserved better than some bum who’s not dressed properly for a school dance. Immediately catching on to his situation, Amelia interrupted his train of thought with a “wait here” as she ran downstairs to the casual living area of her house.

Within minutes, Amelia came running back up to her bedroom with one of her butlers holding up an outfit attached to a hanger. “Mind trying this on for me Ken?” She sweetly asked as she took the outfit from her butlers hands and handed it to Kenny. It was a tuxedo that looked about his size and was an identical match to her dress. He vividly remembers insisting that he shouldn’t take such a nice article of clothing, but Amelia was far too persistent for him. With a sigh of defeat, Kenny went to the bathroom and changed into the outfit, feeling shocked by the perfect fit and how dapper he looked. Right as he walked out, Amelia practically tackled him as she was really happy about the fact that they were matching and how well the suit had fitted on him. He ended up keeping that suit and wearing it to the dance a couple days later.

The dance ended up really fun for the both of them since they won one of the party games for dancing together. Once the dance was over, the duo ran off to throw pebbles in Stark’s pond and hangout with each other a little more. While they both debriefed, their eyes were focused on the pebbles dancing with the pond. The moon shone down on the area, giving an almost ethereal look to them and the water.

“I’m still extremely surprised that Tweek and Craig didn’t beat us during that dance competition thing- They were doing super good, even I was intimidated by their skills! And I’m usually the most confident when it comes to preforming stuff like that!” Amelia exclaimed, watching Kenny throw another pebble into the pond as he nodded in agreement.

Mid conversation, Amelia decided to stand at the edge of the pond out of curiosity to see if there’s any fish, ultimately leading to her tripping and falling into the water. She freaked out at first, thinking she was about to drown (causing Kenny to also start freaking out) but then processed that she was in the shallow part of the pond, making both of their worries to go away.

“Well this really sucks-“ she looked down at her now drenched dress, “I was really excited to wear this dress out again for dinner tomorrow..”

Kenny interrupted her thoughts, “Can’t one of your housekeepers clean it in time for the dinner?”

“Yeah but I’m still gonna feel bad about it, they’re probably gonna scold me and tell me I should be more careful like you-“

“Why would they say that?”

“Because Ken, my housekeepers really like you..they think you’re a good kid, responsible, brave, humble. They basically like you for all the reasons that I started crushing on you for.. A lot of the time they tell me to be more like you, but in all honestly I like the way I am. And to be fair, I consider myself far more humble than all the other wealthy kids I’ve met in my life.” She laughed at her own words, still remaining in the water. Moving on his own without thinking, Kenny willingly jumped into the water. Amelia had a surprised expression on her face as she realized what he had done.

“Now we’re both wet so they can’t get mad at you.”

Kenny grinned. In that moment, Amelia was so speechless that the only thing the both of them could hear was her racing heart. After a minute, Kenny spoke up once more.

“Did I do something wr-“

“No, never! You did nothing wrong Ken-“

She was quick to cut him off, pausing for a second before continuing.

“You just have me thinking…Everytime we’re together like this, it feels like something out of a movie. I thought love was just some fictional concept that was made to give people hope but then I met you. I think I’m in love with you, Kenny.”

Now it was Kenny’s turn to be speechless. He didn’t know how to react to her words. Of course he knew he was also in love with Amelia but he didn’t know how to put all his affections into words. He thought to himself about the quote “actions speak louder than words”. While keeping that quote in mind, he simply intertwined their hands together to show her that he felt the same way..

Dr. McCormick quickly snapped back to reality when he realized his computer had turned off. He looked around his lab, only to be greeted by everything but Amelia. A soft sigh escaped his lips as he walked back to his bedroom and opened one of the drawers on his nightstand. There laid a small reel of photos from his childhood, majority of them being photos of him and Amelia goofing around in the photobooth at the mall throughout the years. Taking them into his hands, all he could think of was her up until he finally dozed off to sleep.

[incanata]

I’ve been basking in the post-watch glow of the conclusion of this season, and the delight I have for the sheer quality of its construction. There’s a lot of things bouncing around in my head: Lestat and how much I love him and all of his toxic, petulant nonsense. The tragedy of Claudia flipped on its head as they’ve granted her the ability to fight back, and try to take what is hers. Armand and the weight of the knowledge of his motivations in the novels. Our Boy Malloy who is scared but beautifully, brashly defiant, and seems to have decided that if he’s going to be swallowed up by this shit, he sure as hell is lighting a fire in the belly of this beast (I have so much admiration for Eric’s Daniel, he’s absolutely killing it). 

Amongst all the other thoughts I have about family, race, relationships, love (so many thoughts about love in all of its myriad forms), there’s a paragraph or two clinging to the back of my throat about Jacob Anderson’s arresting portrayal of Louis - and not just the beauty that he obviously brings to the character, but the disconcerting darkness that clings to the edges of his take on this role.

And yes, we can talk about darkness in the form of vampirism, but I’m talking about the humanity that still stalks around like a creature caged behind his eyes. If you, like me, have been hungrily drinking down anything you can find tangentially related to these actors, you would have come across Jacob’s interviews, social media accounts and other forms of commentary surrounding Louis. His Instagram bio is cheekily adorned with the words ‘PhD in sadboi’, and I believe it. 

Louis is Depressed with a capital D and in the eternity that he sits at the altar of that church, Lestat’s fangs in his neck and then later, his own mouth filling up with blood, I think he hopes (prays, perhaps, haha), that this offer of acceptance will cure him of the melancholy that dogs his soul. 

He’s wrong of course. Much like most of us who wander the numbing, grey plains of chronic depression, seeking something to shock us back into seeing colour again, the next big event, outing, adventure, romance. It’s not just Lestat either, through his ineptitude of managing something as complexly human as mental illness that exacerbates Louis’ most dark and troubled thoughts (though he certainly plays a big hand in it), but everything - all of the minute details, all of the huge incidents - accumulating, amalgamating into the monstrous profile of a man teetering constantly on the edge of the void, having listened to its call for so long that he can hear the music in its cry.

It is the pressure of being the eldest, the caregiver, the provider, the manager, where your parents have either abandoned or failed you. It is the sorrow of your own mother’s rejection of the person you are. It is the frustration of seeing your sibling deteriorate and not knowing how to save them, even though you love them painfully. It is the despair of your one remaining tie to your family finally severed, the threads slipping through your fingers even though you meant well and you will regret every second you spent uttering words you cannot take back. It is the heart crushing sickness of realising that your partner, who you have chosen for life, is not the salvation you had been promised, is not enough to understand, or alleviate the suffocating sadness that consumes you, even though he loves you wholly, fiercely and without judgement. It is the primal and visceral fear of failing your child. Of being unworthy of either happiness or love, because you know you have failed. And of experiencing that failure first hand as you step from one phase of your life into another and being drowned in the disappointment of finding that it does not get better, and you lack the skill to do well at neither of the things you claim to be.

And so you self-destruct. You impose conditions on your being. You punish yourself for the things you hate about your own reflection, blindly carrying out commands like a doll on a string. Louis is not only defeated by Lestat’s persistence, he has already defeated himself long before this toxic relationship could drain away what remained of his will to survive. By the time he finds himself on that park bench in Jackson Square contemplating the end of his existence, even the pain is gone. He is just a husk, holding only in his hands, his lingering obligation to Claudia, but unable to make one last move into annihilation out of guilt.

Jacob Anderson is not just an incredible actor, he really understands what it means to be a survivor of the darkness, and he does it all with such tender fragility, such painstaking nuance that I cannot help but love and appreciate him for what he has brought to the character. Yes, I know we’re all flipping our shit (no one as much as I) because Sam Reid really did just sit down in the middle of a summoning circle and allow Lestat to possess his mind, but I really want to just say how grateful I am that such a masterful demonstration of character portrayal from Jacob was given to us, in a campy, wonderful show about insane vampires in love, of all the places in the world.

[mpregandproud]

Isaac (Part 7)

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9]

It was strange to live without so much worry and doubt. The insecure Dan was left behind after returning from the village. I regained my relationship with my parents, we now talked practically every day. After Sandra's birth I took paternity leave, as did Isaac. We had weeks to be together and take care of the little one.

It was two months after we got back and I was already huge. I knew that three babies would make me grow a lot, but when I was just about to enter the seventh month of gestation I could no longer do most of the daily tasks. Bending down to tie my shoes was an ordeal. Holding Sandra in my arms was becoming more and more difficult. And I was spending more and more time sitting or lying on my side.

Clothes were beginning to be a serious problem. As I told you I was a big person, but between what I had gained before and during the pregnancy I had to change my closet several times. I was just near of 300 pounds. My belly was very wide and getting pointier and pointier. I haven't been able to see my feet for three months now, and neither has my dick. And if that wasn't enough, my chest was getting bigger and bigger and tender. They were one step away from becoming tits. It was only a matter of time before milk started to emanate from them. I was really looking forward to it so I could feed little Sandra.

The babies were becoming more and more active. Inside me I felt a veritable stampede of wild animals on the savannah. It was especially intense movement every time Isaac and I fucked. I had stopped being versatile, my body right now making it difficult for me to fuck Isaac. Since the fifth month it is my boyfriend who comes inside me with his big penis. As soon as his penis goes all the way in my body goes into ecstasy. My babies move like crazy, I tremble with pleasure and cum multiple times.

By the time I entered my 30th week of gestation I weighed 320 pounds, with 10 more weeks to go. My appetite was only growing and our friends brought us lots of food every time they visited us. And they visited very often. The doctor had given up on my weight, I was a basket case. My underwear was getting tighter and tighter. 

Lucas and his husband Adam invited us to their wedding, but in my condition it was impossible for me to attend. Once they got married and returned from their honeymoon they paid us a visit. Like everyone who visits us they brought large amounts of food which I began to devour as we drank tea together.

"You look really dazzling," Lucas acknowledged to me. "Thanks, but you're looking at me with good eyes. I'm chubby as hell, I can barely move and look at my boobs, they're bigger than my sister's," I replied with a mouth full of donuts. "I think you look better than ever," added Isaac who surprisingly still loved me even though I looked more like a cow than a person.

"You see, Dan, Adam and I want to be parents. We've been wanting to adopt or have a child through surrogacy for a while now," Lucas began. "When you came back to town and I saw you with your belly I understood that finally our dream could come true," he told me. "I would like you to gestate our baby, what better than my best soccer friend carrying my baby inside him. I think you are perfect for this job," Lucas said. "We know you can't give us an answer now, and you and Isaac will have to talk, but we both agree on this, you seem to us to be the best candidate, and with proven fertility," Adam said.

That night Isaac and I had a long conversation. He didn't see very clearly that I would be a surrogate for my friends. But he also knew that these months of pregnancy were going great for our relationship. I was tempted by the idea of getting pregnant again, it was clear to me that I wanted to do it again, but with babies that weren't Isaac's?

In the end we decided that we would accept the offer. It would have to be at least half a year after giving birth and only once. The idea was not to become a professional surrogate, but I did want to help my friends become parents. Lucas and Adam agreed, of course. In half a year I would start again with a pregnancy, if someone had told me a year ago that I would be pregnant I would not have believed them, let alone if they had told me that I would be pregnant twice. Of course, before I get pregnant again I will have to lose all the weight I have gained if I don't want to remain immobile forever.

To be continued...

[novembermorgon]

Hello op tis me again!! Apologies for taking [checks notes] 84 years to get back to you I have had A Week. However!!! Cayn and Ysabel continue to live rent free <3 like I'm just so obsessed with how gothic they are which is like. My favorite thing tbh. Part of me is gratified bc everything you said I kept nodding and going yeah I thought so, because your art was so *clear* the vibes were just. So easy to read (in the best way). I THOUGHT the ring was a match with Aegon's and also rip the rat tail long live the rat tail. I have to say Ysabel haunts me but Cayn scratches an Itch. Like. U feel me? Cayn belongs squarely in Hannibal NBC with his palatable person suit that is doing very little to distract *him* from the fact that he's about to eat someone whole and raw and it's probably going to be someone he loves before he moves on to someone he hates. Maybe it'll even be the same person. Who knows!! There's this tragedy to them both but Cayn is almost trying to tell himself he can Change it and Control the way the tragedy will fall (and getting humbled bad lmao) while Ysabel is like. Carrion carted away by the waves. Never stood a chance and at some point she stopped fighting very hard. Also I feel like. There's this Deep Intimacy yet Huge Emotional Distance between Aemond and Ysabel where neither knows how to communicate or really Approach someone so instead they have to consume maim kill leave a mark. I cannot touch you except to hurt you ect. And her obsession with him is in and of itself so haunted bc it's like she wants to Eat Him but she Doesn't but that way she can Control It but. And we stay at that but. While with Aegon and Cayn it's like yes I do like you. I fear writing the stronger word. Instead I will eat you whole and you will remember me by the imprint of my teeth on your side and I will remember you by the way I bloat with desire for you and choke on your blood <3 and it's like wooow. Wooow. Love it. Obsessed with it. As you can tell I do not like them normal. Do u know what happens to them at the end of the war? I can't imagine Ysabel ending up any better than Helaena. But also. I gotta say. Big fan of tragic siblings I am—I have So Many Feelings about these two relating to each other qnd hoe The Love Was Apparently There and it Didn't Change Anything. Too many feelings to put it too words. After all that word vomit (thank u if you read the whole way through) I wish to tell you that u have inspired me to make my Bolton oc more weird and unsettling and haunted. My disgraced Lenora and her legion of skinned animals and skulls <3 My Shadowskin Lady. I want her to be such a Freak while also being so tragic and doomed to being nothing but a third wife <3 but anyway!! I have stolen enough of your time and wish you good luck with your commissions!! Thank uu for replying to me and I look forward to future works on these doomed suckers 😌

under the cut because this got long ..

IM JUST GLAD TO BE TALKING ABOUT THEM !

it did make me sit and stare and giggle a little bit because its true you were very on the mark with them . i do think part of the charm with the boltons Is their inability to be anything but very un-subtly gothic and weird and strange . you look at them and you can immediately clock what's going on here .

and its very true… ill be so real and genuine i STILL havent watched hannibal the whole way through but ive absorbed the vibe enough through many years of being a gay person online to where yeah definitely this guy has some hannibal in him . that bit of restraint in really really trying to put yourself in a square that slowly but surely begins to crack under the weight of at the core needing to feed the urge to hurt something . believes himself to be strong enough to keep it away but ultimately the same fate waits each time …… similarly to ysabel . they both end up in the same place of hurt inflicted on others and in turn on themselves but while cayn fights against it and tries to rise above it ysabel leans into it and accepts it regardless of how much it scares her because she's always been taught to lay down and take whatever comes her way as a polite nice lady that doesn't fight and doesn't say no .

i do like to spin their relationships around in my mind . both separately and between each other . with ysabel i feel like her most intimate moments Are when she gets to be a little unhinged ie biting and chewing on someone etc because its very raw . so entirely separate from anything she knows and anything that's expected of her and so desperate and pleading that it gets very real . whereas cayn for a long time sees that violence as a failure to himself and in turn prefers to sit down and have a polite conversation and only thinks of how it would be to reach across the table and strangle a man . ultimately though that violence is inherent to him i like to think he wants to feel in control of it . wants to have the upper hand no matter what and doesnt like when it becomes an urge that just drives you without thought or reason . ysabel starving animal who cant help it vs cayn predator on a calculated hunt etc in the end theyre both very much formed by being raised by a dad who was so much worse . united in misery and a root of violence and hate and death that was planted in them from the moment they were born . they both have it and they will never escape it because there was never a point where it wasnt there. as for endings ….

i'm a little conflicted on them both partially because i still need to iron out some war details etc but as a general frame of reference it ends aaaalmost the same as in canon beyond the fact that the greens win a little more vividly . well . as much as you can 'win' a terrible tragic war with your own family . in the end jaehaera + aegon + alicent + cayn + ysabel and her kids are alive . aegon iii and viserys ii hang around too like in canon . i imagine errhhmmmm… (taps my noggin) aegon remarries . ive been fond of cassandra baratheon stepmom to jaehaera lately . well.. king's landing politics ensue . everyone is sort of miserable . i swear that i'll get to figuring it all out one day . i swear!!!!

most relevant to court i guess would be ysabel since i imagine she remains in the red keep for most of the war and after it . mentioned somewhere i think but she has two kids - a daughter (aelora) and a son (baelor) both of which make it through the war - but baelor is weak and sickly kind of partially because ysabel is basically left half-bedbound after her second pregnancy that probably shouldn't have happened in the first place . … he dies of illness pretty young which sends ysabel spiraling even worse than she already was post war . girls who have their bodies irreversibly ruined and torn apart to where they can barely function anymore in the hopes of having a son - giving a little boy to a husband who is bound to die at war and having your son follow closely behind and having it all be for nothing . i think she grows to resent her daughter silently for being a girl (westerosi misogyny so deeply seated even in its women) and i don't think they ever really grow all that close . sits and rots in her chambers or in the gardens and dreams about her dead son and her dead husband instead of looking to the family she has that are still there .

i think she's kind of disconnected from court just based on the fact she's entirely too hurt physically and mentally to really even be able to contribute much . she's allowed to sit in her misery because she's family to the targs atp but it's a little rough . in a little twist of weird connections i think she would get along with aegon iii pretty well in the sense that they're both horrendously miserable and she projects some sort of son onto him. sits and reads with him and talks about whatever kids talk about and acts like nothing is wrong for a few hours

i played with the idea of her eventually joining the silent sisters as a sort of final frontier of guilt and shame and horror at what her life becomes but i don't think she would even have the drive to do that much at the end of the war LOL

and cayn …

this one is trickier because he's …. … ……..? i dont know. i think its tough to find a real direction for him in my mind and i cant figure out why . but i think i got it.. more context first > their dad dies during the war, i imagine somewhere around rook's rest after the north is openly split apart or a bit later on when they actually try to go against the starks directly, and in my mind it kind of leaves cayn in (similarly to ysabel) in a state of being trapped in the past in a place he can never return to . their dad represents everything cayn believes he should be and all he should live up to and all his house and family stand for and seeing him die really does get to him . not to mention he also gets hurt pretty bad - just that chunk of harm that comes with war and what it'll do to a man. forever stuck on some field of battle far away and the world keeps spinning but you never quite spin along with it . dons his dad's armor and now suddenly he's saddled with the weight of responsibility and duty and all their family's pain both literally and metaphorically . kind of resembles the bolton skinchanging theories if you really get insane about it ie you take on a man's skin (his weird flesh armor) and now you're just as much him as you are yourself etc

i imagine he returns to king's landing for a while after they've duked it out with the starks for a bit and the north cools off a little . comes back and he's hurt and aegon is hurt and barely conscious half the time and his facade probably drops pretty harshly . spends some time taking care of aegon and doing what he's told and dreams about the fact that there has to be a purpose and a meaning to fighting a war . goes against what he used to want (restraint) and drives himself to violence and hate because if he doesn't then he'll sit down and think and realize that his dad died for nothing and theyve been fighting stupid battles for a cause that he doesn't really care about . rabid guard dog off the leash with no true goal he wants for and no true cause he believes in .

by the time the war ends and aegon remarries i imagine he leaves court because admittedly he would actually seethe a little bit seeing aegon married again . with helaena it was okay because i think he recognizes neither of them chose that and neither of them (from my perspective) really love the other in any romantic sense but when it's an active choice he gets really really upset . silently of course . <3 the gay yearning catches up with him and he faces the fact aegon is barely a person anymore and he has no place at court in turn . goes home to the north and with the greens sort-of-winning he's given winterfell and titles and they settle into some kind of peace for a little while. he marries a karstark girl because it's what his father had intended for him and they're about as unhappy as you can get in a relationship. maybe they have a son in time but more than likely not. i think while everything kind of holds up for a while there are a lot of issues here that don't seem to ever really get resolved properly - lots of unhappy lords and lots of bastard siblings who think they know better and lots of rumors and disagreements and a steady swirling pot of disaster boiling under the surface. i can imagine he goes off to fight off some rebellion after a good few years and ends up dead . maybe for the best .

i dont know if ysabel even really processes it . i think if she wasnt already so unresponsive she WOULD just step out a window

in another reality that im going to manifest in my mind space cayn stays in king's landing after the war and has someone else manage the north . sticks around and tries to ignore the fact that he's jealous and angry and feels no satisfaction or ease even when they've won and the war is over . sticks around and has a toxic evil homosexual relationship with the king that grows strained when he has a new wife and a kingdom to run properly this time and they settle into a horribly tense unbearable distance that's broken only when cayn steps up and poisons him or just chokes him out or something and proceeds to kill himself ala your first gay situationship where dying feels like a good alternative to having to process the fact that you cant really be together . hope you understand . either way the boltons (well . the ones that are relevant in this case there are always cousins and second cousins etc in asoiaf to pick up the slack) fizzle out and end up miserable or dead even after the promise of power and status is fulfilled . don't aim too high or you'll have that much further to fall if you will a whole lot of nonsense being put out here but i hope you enjoy whatever's cooking …. really really appreciate the interest and im glad to provide whatever u might be wondering about + more ramblings… would LOVE to see more freakish bolton ocs also . there is nothing like a horrible house that raises horrible people who reek of tragedy and terror and a doomed narrative and SO many chances to make something so fun please tell me more !

[essayofthoughts]

So. I was having some Cassandra thoughts after writing despite everything for @romeoandjulietyouwish and I figured some people might be interested.

Cass and Percy’s trauma is very different, for all it comes from the same event. Percy was tortured and we see that he consistently has a very bad reaction to having his self-control taken from him in anyway - he locks up when he gets Hold Person’d, he has a panic attack when he’s blinded, losing his memories messes with him badly. But for him a lot of it seems to be that he takes comfort in physical freedom - the freedoom to move, to go unrestrained and, when needs be, to retaliate. He was tortured, and his primary fears reflect that.

Cass watched her family be tortured, but her trauma comes much more from the Briarwoods’ manipulation of her. As a vampire Sylas could Charm her easily enough, and gaslighting and emotional manipulation would be likely from Delilah. While Percy was very simply denied control of his body, most likely via restraints and blindfolds and being physically tortured, there was a physical reason his control of himself was taken away.

But for Cass, it’s all mental - it’s all internal.

Let’s take a left turn.

Percy names the first of his children for one of his deceased siblings, but not the others. And- well, you’d think starting with naming his first child and daughter after his eldest sister, and the words of the players in the Campaign Wrap-Up regarding the Perc’ahlia quarter-elves would indicate an intent to name Percy and Vex’s children after Percy’s lost siblings - and yet, as we see, he didn’t. Some are clearly named after other relatives - Wolfe and Melanie are de Rolo names, and of course Vax’ildan for Vex’s brother - and some are named after other loved ones - Pike, Zahra - but where did the names of Percy’s other siblings go?

We don’t know a huge amount about Cass’ life after the Campaign - we see a little of her in Dalen’s Closet, we know Percy and Vex try to help her when they see her struggling with all that happened, but despite the fact she’s a leading figure of Whitestone neither version of the Tal’Dorei Campaign Guide tell us much about her. The Doylist reason is simple: as an NPC character she’s not going to sell the books as well as the Player Characters. The Watsonian? After everything she’s been through she is likely astoundingly private.

There’s also the fact that if there’s anyone’s sake for which Percy would forgo naming his children for his siblings, it’s his last remaining sibling.

We don’t know if Cassandra has a partner or children. She could be asexual or aromantic or both - she could be too traumatised to consider it, but given the hope of Percy’s conclusion I’d find it a bit of a let down if, even with Percy and Vex seeking to help her, Cassandra didn’t get that hope too.

And Percy only names one of his children for his siblings. For whom else would he forgo naming all of them for those he lost?

Given Cassandra’s specific trauma, having her sense of reality uprooted, having her control of herself destroyed or warped due to mental control, being at once trapped in and a stranger to her own body if indeed she was fed on by Sylas - I have to wonder if she wouldn’t find the prospect of pregnancy incredibly retraumatising. Nine months of one’s body changing in ways one cannot control, in ways which permanently changes one and which can cause death for oneself or the foetus or both-

Yeah, given everything, I think Cassandra would find the prospect horrifying and terrifying and traumatising.

But she is a de Rolo. And we already know how Percy, the least involved with the family’s political and diplomatic affairs, still places such weight on legacy. I would be surprised if Cassandra didn’t feel the weight of it too. If she didn’t want to contribute to the family legacy too.

And so, the crux of the matter:

I find it quite likely that, not all that long after Vesper Elaina de Rolo was born and named, Cassandra and Percy had a talk.

Whether Cassandra was in a place to consider familial legacy before the Campaign’s end is a question we may never know the answer to. She was ~18, newly freed of her long-term abusers, finally given half a chance to grieve her family before being saddled with the weight of a city by her elder brother and then by refugees as the whole continent was wracked by dragon attacks. I suspect, not unlike Percy, she was only really able to process after the events of Vecna’s rise. I suspect too that she only really started to consider the idea of rebuilding the de Rolo family after Percy and Vex had (somewhat accidentally) already begun the process.

And- I think it’s perfectly likely she adores her niece. After all, their family had been destroyed by the Briarwoods: now it is being rebuilt. There are not only two de Rolos left - Vex has married into the family, Vesper has been born to the family. The idea is there.

But I do think that Cassandra would not, after all of her experiences, be one to rush into romance or any kind of relationship, let alone children. As already stated, I think she’d find the prospect of pregnancy retraumatising.

But. We know just how stubborn Percy is. We know too that Cass got her way in fetching their mother’s armour and joining Percy against the Briarwoods. We know that Percy calls Cassandra a brat, seemingly due to pre-Briarwoods interactions. I suspect, if anyone can out-stubborn Percy, it’s Cassandra. She would just need a reason to.

Hence: I think that, shortly after Vesper was born, Cassandra and Percy had a conversation - about their losses, about the family names that they’re the only ones with a right to pass on. About how many names there are, and which they would like to pass on.

Both de Rolos feel guilty about what happened during the massacre and occupation. I do not struggle to believe that Percy would willingly cede the right to their siblings’ names to Cassandra. Their mother’s name -  that is already in Cassandra’s hold given that it’s her middle name. Their father’s name is partially in Percy’s, as namesake of his middle name.

And besides, Percy has friends and loved ones to name children for too. There would have been other relatives who were lost in the attack. There would have been relatives and ancestors whose histories Percy found fascinating and perhaps had considered as names he might give any children he had, if he were ever to marry. In a way, Cassandra asking to take charge of their siblings’ names gives him leeway to name his children for relatives we know he found interesting enough to memorise the stories of - such as Melanie and Wolfe, given that was a story Percy recounted on-stream.

I don’t think Cassandra would rush into anything. We do not know enough about Cass’ life, post-stream, to really know if she would ever have the inclination or desire to have children.

But we do know that, though Percy has other siblings he could have named his children for, he named only one child directly for his lost family, gave one other child a name partially of his middle name and also his father’s name - a name he already had right to.

But he didn’t name any others.

If there was anyone else Percy would agree had right to those names, it would be Cassandra. I do not think it unlikely that, in far off good time, the rest of their siblings’ names lived again.

[doesnotloveyou]

Definitely Miami

already posted the AO3 link to this, but i'm so silly I forgot I can just post the whole thing

Warnings: Teen rating for suggestive content

Length: Flashfic/ficlet/drabble

Summary:

Sonny reflects on his past romances while trying not to make a huge mistake with a certain French bombshell.

Sonny's love life had felt like falling down stairs for a long time now. Each time he hit another step he swore he'd find his balance and stop before he hit the bottom, that the next step would be the last. Except the staircase was much steeper than he'd expected, and Burnett attracted gravity like a lead weight.

Caroline, his best love, mother to his amazing little boy who was growing bigger every day, broke his heart by using her head. She wanted out and he couldn't blame her. The job was more home to him than she was. His ex-wife and his boy had hugged him goodbye and left for better things.

Gina, his girl Friday, got her heart crushed by some jackass who wined and dined her before taking on another chick without so much as an "oops, sorry.” She definitely still loved him, but that wound was festering and neither of them wanted to look at it. He didn't even know why he'd done it, but he knew he didn’t deserve to be taken back.

Brenda, the 'other woman,' the one who was out of his league. The one who somehow thought she could succeed where Caroline had cut her losses. A pretty fantasy to wake up to but one that nearly cost him his real partner. She was never meant to be.

Margaret was the first sign that the staircase was steeper than imagined. New York City was bewildering enough without some chic blonde in a penthouse spinning him like a top. Even once the curtain had fallen she still tried to manipulate him back into her bed. He'd prefer to forget about Margaret sooner than later.

Now Callie. Ice cube to wipe her sweat, Callie. Kept him up thinking about her during a heatwave, Callie. How she twisted him around one manicured finger before running that hand up her leg. She came on too hard, turned him off; exuding pure sex was not a look he desired. But it sure as hell clung to his brain like a parasite.

The tortured love angle tugged viciously at his heart strings. He was in this job to protect people like her, but people like her were starting to go too far. His head was slamming the brakes while his heart floored it; it's a ripoff, but what if it isn't, trust your gut, she looks so scared, she could have left him by now, you know it's never that simple.

Sonny felt guilty for how bad he wanted it to be real. Because if it were real then Callie was really in an abusive relationship. Her tears, her fear, her pain. All of it would have to be real and he'd currently be hunting down the animal that terrorized her. Yet, the stink of a rotten deal was all over that woman, and here he was following it like a starving dog. 

During the four hours he devoted to sleep, drenched in summer sweat and wearing as little as possible, Sonny would bear down on the bunched up blanket and pillows to take the edge off. Callie was either a victim or a snake, and either way he shouldn't touch her.

At the end of each night though, his bed was empty, his heart full, and he wasn't getting any younger.

In the safehouse, Callie parted open her bathrobe and he fell with her into the bed. The trouble then was knowing exactly where to start. She was an unguarded sports car, top down, keys in the ignition, tank full, engine purring, upholstery gleaming. He was dressed as a criminal, talking like one, thinking like one. There was compassion in his heart and a full-bodied woman in his arms. No one knew where they were, and she wanted the touch of a kind man so desperately she was practically forcing herself on him. It was all so perfect. 

Out of left field the bickering between his head and heart was overruled. His conscience got him out of that bed. He pulled his clothes back together. He walked away.