#and its just honestly made it so hard for me to engage in current comics stuff around tim which. fucking sucks

[ectonurites]

man im still just thinking about how fucking cruel timing is in this world for me specifically sometimes

[fantrolloftheday]

GREETINGS AND SALUTATIONS TUMBLR

I (@nnugatoryextravagance) used to run a twitter account under the same name as this blog, but now I refuse to use that horrific bird app for the sake of my health, BUT also really missed doing this, So now here we are

There is technically speaking only one blog admin (Me, Sludge!) but I am the host of a multiple system, so others might post as well (we will use emojis to identify ourselves, mine is 💊) ((please be respectful, we will not engage with syscourse so dont bother))

[Also I know the name implies this is daily, but honestly dont hold your breath on that.]

ANYWAY YEAH onto the rules and other stuff

(keep reading)

Prepare necessary info about your Fantroll (Minimum info is at least Name, one SAFE FOR WORK photo, gender and/or pronouns [either one or both], caste, and sign)

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[Bear in mind though Anon is currently OFF, although this may change eventually]

[azureflight]

My entire friend group have uninstalled WoW and started FF14

It still feels surreal we are doing this. Now, it is perfectly possible that we will be back to WoW within the month, talking about how disappointing the “weeb game” was, but, this stills feels like a seminal moment.

I have been a Warcraft fan since I was a literal kid trying (and failing :P) to play Tides of Darkness on my aunt’s desktop. I spent so many hours and so much of my allowance playing Reign of Chaos in internet cafes. 

When WOTLK trailer dropped, we had hijacked the computer lab and projected it to the auditorium for all to see. 

I have been part of real life, unironic Horde vs Alliance infighting in college gaming clubs. I remember us all wearing Horde/Alliance merch, enthusiastically and rather foolishly, but completely seriously, arguing about lore, about who did what wrong and who was “more at fault”.

I own, almost every single Warcraft book, comic, guide ever published. I own hard copies, I own digital copies. I have watched and read and listened to every single piece of lore ever produced about this setting.

I have kept my sub up and played through all of the content draught, the infamous SoO, the practically less than 2 patch worth expac that was WoD.

I have allowed my sub to lapse for the first time during BFA. 

I was so hyped for Shadowlands back when it was announced, and was annoyed when they changed the release date, causing me to waste my vacation time that I had taken for it. But a mere month of the expac in and I was already bored of it. And now, 9.1 is out and I am done. I barely played this patch and I have not only cancelled my sub, but went and removed the game from my PC.

Maybe this is a stupid overreaction and in the next patch, at the worst the next expac, I will be right back at the fur shop like the old fox I am. However, I know it feels different.

Throughout the years, I had many a thing that frustrated me about this game. Made me rage even. But I hadn’t quit then. No. The feeling that has been creeping up on me, isn’t rage. It is disinterest. I just, don’t care anymore. 

Most of my friends over the years have switched to the Horde and this has been a sore spot for me. I stuck with Alliance, having some alts to play with them, and they had some Alliance alts to play with me, but... It wasn’t the same, it wasn’t enough. Several online friends, I had already lost contact with.

And now we are all gathering in FF14! I had the discord chat of my life! So many people I hadn’t talked to in years, on top of my actual real life friends whom I hang out with, are all jumping into this new journey.

My best friend’s progression guild is looking to make a full guild transfer, currently all of them except one have characters and a guild in FF, trying to convince the last guy to make the switch.

And then there is the lore. That’s why I fell in love with this setting in the first place. I loved this story, the cheese, the heroism, the over the topness, all of it. It was never “high art”, but it was unique in its own way, it had heart and it had characters and stories that I got invested in. Deeply so. I hadn’t start playing WoW because I was a connoisseur of MMORPG genre and “calculated it to be the best among its contemporaries”. I dived head first in Vanilla because it was Warcraft.

And now, I honestly cannot bring myself to care about this story, or its characters, other than a passing resentment. This was not the case, less than a year ago. I had bought the bloody Shadows Rising novel, I had read it and I liked it.

Now I am just, over it. This sense was rising, this sense of feeling less and less care for it, as expac after expac went in wildly nonsensical directions. But I had things that I had liked well enough to keep at it and have hope, hope for a good enough story that would keep me engaged. But I lost it. Something broke in 9.1.

I guess I realized, or rather I perceive, that the actual writers of this story do not care about it and none of it matters. There is no story. There is no plot, no continuity. Just an endless stream of “cool” shots in cinematics that ultimately don’t matter because, it has no basis and it has no relevance. It exists because someone wanted to make this cool scene, without caring what came before it, or what will come after it. Each scene exist, not to progress a cohesive story, but simply because someone wanted it to exist. And the next “cool” piece will flagrantly retcon the last one, ignoring or outright invalidating the stakes and hooks that had been set up in the previous one. 

This is no longer a story of people, who were dramatic and weird and fantastical, but ultimately people. No. This is now a check list of what someone wanted to do in WoW setting and all the characters are empty puppets and all the plots matter only as much as they matter in any given single cinematic or questline. There is no pay off, and there is no logic. Characters aren’t allowed to live and react. Things only happen because the author said so, and the characters just bend and transform to do their bidding. And they feel no reason to explain nor establish as to why a character acts the way they do, let alone trying to make it believable or internally justified.

The gameplay aspect is the least important to me, the exact opposite of the majority. But I am sick and tired being punished with powerlessness for what I like story wise or aesthetically. I am sick and tired needing to read through guides upon guides, copying meta builds, just to have my class be remotely playable.

And most importantly, I am sick and tired of a game that will put me through genocide, deny me justice and vengeance under the guise of need for cooperation and then deny me playing with my friends across factions.

Now I get to play with all of my friends without jumping over the hoops or giving up on what I love. Because there are no stupid factions in FF14. And I can play multiple classes without hating myself.

I had several favorite characters in this game. They are still, mostly, alive. But do I care about them anymore? Jaina, Anduin, Sylvanas, Turalyon, Tyrande, Genn... No. I don’t care and it doesn’t even hurt anymore, it just feels like I had wasted my time and money. It feels exactly like how I felt during season 8 of GoT. An empty feeling of waste, so I leave.

Will I care about the characters or the story in FF14? I don’t know. I don’t think I will stick around if I don’t. But will I go back to WoW? A piece of me wants to hope for a superb turn around, but... Honestly? I don’t see it happening. And anything less than an epic turn around that fixes all of this, the lore, the classes, the playerbase division? I won’t bother anymore.

So off to the greener pastures! Maybe I will come crawling back within the blink of an eye, eating this post, repenting for ever having left. Maybe... I just don’t think so.

[hajimewhore]

Body Swap 👫 (Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader) ➸Rated T, fem!Reader, 1.8k words   ➷Humor, awkwardness, lots of swearing, more d*ck talk but mild mild nothing goes on, just very uncomfy, the secondhand embarrassment is real in there (like every part honestly)   ➷ Masterlist, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, ✈Part 4, Part 5

“Uh, this… isn’t what it looks like?” 

Come’s your kneejerk response to Tooru’s exaggeratedly disgusted expression, you can tell he’s about 0.2 seconds away from throwing a fit.

“I went out of my way to wait for you, because I’m that good of a friend, you’re welcome. But you were taking so long, I figured I’d come in and drag you guys out. So. can someone please explain,” he shoots you (Hajime in his perception) a hard look, “What the hell is this?!”

Tooru is flushed in the face, and though his stellar performance and comical gestures were entertaining, you balk a bit at his outburst.

It’s a bit intense, and you feel a nervous sweat down your back. You can seldom say you’ve been on the receiving end of Tooru’s anger, and your struggling to come up with the right words to save face.

“I can explain?”

And what you came up with turned out to be excruciatingly underwhelming, and the baffled look Hajime sends you tells you that he also found your response pathetic.

Being in Hajime’s body with your hands clutched at his skirt, pulling away as if the garment was crafted using hot coals the second Tooru made an entrance, You’ll admit... it looked highly incriminating, and you’re going have some painful explaining to do.

“Well it looks like you’ve got your dirty hands on my bestfriend,” Tooru opts to refer to your actual self as his bestfriend, “What, Iwa-chan, can’t get any action? Trying to cop a feel before school? I didn’t think you were like that!”

He finishes the first segment of his rant with a huff. Under normal circumstances, you’d be appreciative of the rank up on his bestfriend list. Currently though, Tooru is getting under your skin, and as young man, you’re a little offended that he’s talking to you like that.

Tooru takes two strides (curse his long legs) across the threshold of your house, eyes narrowing in on you.

You glances to Hajime to ease the situation, he’s the only one that can say anything to help alleviate the situation.

Tooru follows your gaze, eyeing skeptically for an explanation. Hajime clears his throat, and you think you just might be saved. He’s always been quick to resolve altercations, whether its verbally or physically.

“....Hajime wanted me to wear my skirt shorter, but I said it was against school dress code.”

Hajime states as a matter of fact, and you gasp, what the fuck Hajime, but Tooru’s absolutely scandalized gasp overshadows your own.

“You asshole, that’s not—” 

Tooru is quick to interrupt you,

“You absolute heathen Iwa-chan! Who knew you’d turn out to be such a dog!”

Tooru snags your collar with a tight fist, and you instinctively wrap your hand around his.

Uh... you’re not gonna have to fight Tooru, are you? It’s Hajime’s body, so you’d gladly let him get bruised up as retribution for that comment, but you’re not too keen on getting punched in the face by Tooru protecting your own dignity.

“It’s not like that!”

You scramble for a way to dig yourself out of this one. Tooru’s locked his glare on you, exuding pressure.

“Then what is it like Iwa-chan?”

You glance from Tooru’s scowl to see Hajime’s smug expression behind him, your brow ticks at the sight of it. 

‘That little...’

Weren’t you just saying last night how excellent of an actress you were? Time to put that to the test.

You forcefully remove Tooru’s fist from your collar, adjusting your tie. Tooru allows you to gather yourself for a moment, scorn still etched across his features.

Averting your eyes to the side with a serious, contemplative gaze, you muster all the dramatics you can to pull off your next line. Internally, you think smugly that you must appear picture perfect for a drama noir film. If only it were raining too, that would set the atmosphere ideally. But an actress must work with what she’s got. 

Tooru seems decently invested in your dramatics, and Hajime is looking at you with contempt, as if he drank sour milk. Now that a pregnant pause has settled in and you’ve garnered the crowd’s interest, you sigh, long and wistfully,

“She never wears her skirt like that... I thought she might be struggling with her self confidence, so I was just trying to make her feel comfortable with herself. I’m such a brute though, I guess I got carried away.”

You cast your gaze sheepishly to Tooru, rapping your knuckles lightly against the top of your head to emphasize your point.

Tooru blinks at the explanation, takes in the information, considers the evidence in his mind.

His eyes begin to water, as expected, tears brimming at his long lashes as he spins around to pull Hajime (AKA you) into a bone crushing hug. He’s got a suffocating grip on him, all the while crying about ‘Hajime’s’ reasoning.

“I didn’t even notice! Forgive your stupid bestfriend, I should’ve said something too! How did I miss that?!” his dramatics always seem to up yours, Tooru is currently stealing best-in-show from you, “Waaaah, I’m sorry, you’re perfect the way you are!”

He cries into what he thinks is your shoulder, no doubt using the fabric to wipe his face, much to Hajime’s disdain. Meanwhile, Hajime is glaring hard and venomously at you for that bullshit display.

‘Are you fucking kidding me?’

He mouths, and you stick your tongue out, giving him the cheekiest expression he’d never want to see on his own face.

“Whew, alright,” Tooru straightens, clearing his throat and flicking his last tear off with the swipe of a hand, “Now we really have to go. Hike that skirt up and let’s get on with our day.”

He’s back to picture perfect Oikawa Tooru, no evidence of his outburst to be seen (asides from the wet spot on Hajime’s shoulder).

You try to grunt in agreement as casual and Hajime-like as you can.

For the sake of getting to school on time without any further incidents, Hajime pulls the uniform skirt up a tad higher, vowing to lower it when you fucking nuisances are out of the picture.

Your final class is almost over, and you’re feeling.... extremely uncomfortable.

Not because the school day went bad, no, you found it easy to converse with his classmates and teachers. Notetaking was relatively simple, you’re learning the same material as Hajime anyways.

You’re physically uncomfortable, and the pressure of your bladder about to burst is driving you crazy.

‘I can’t take it any more!’

You shoot your hand up, and your teacher gives you an odd look before you excuse yourself to the restroom.

You head to the furthest end of the building, the women’s restroom is generally vacant so the men’s should be the same, yeah? And you definitely don’t want to be caught in the women’s, despite how empty it could possibly be. So with a heavy sense of shame, you waddle into the men’s room.

If someone’s in there, it’ll be fine. Just be in, and out. No big deal.

Oh. 

Oh fuck no.

“Iwaizumi, hey.”

Matsukawa fucking Issei glances up to the door you just waltzed through. Matsukawa Issei, middle for the Seijou men’s team, tall and messy haired flirt, the same Matsukawa Issei that helps you with your blocks and techniques, friend of Tooru and Hajime... and he’s staring straight at you with a casual nod of his head. 

You try to return it as casually as possible, despite your bones and every being shaking in you. 

‘Fuck, I forgot men I actually know use the men’s room.’

“...Mattsu–” nope not Mattsun (so much for being casual, you almost fucked up the way Hajime refers to Matsukawa), “–kawa.”

He raises an eyebrow for the briefest second, before returning his attention to the urinal, unzipping his pants. Un. Zipping. His. Pants.

He doesn’t give you much time to dwell on the slip up, already entering conversation about how your day is, to which you give short response to, trying not to shuffle your feet to the urinal. You really don’t want him to catch on to your discomfort.

You heavily contemplate just going into a stall, but you think that might be weird for guys to do. Now that you think about it, isn’t it weird to piss in the urinal directly next to the other guy? If you chose one spaced out would he get offended? Goddamnit, you never learned men’s room etiquette. Screw this whole situation, and screw Matsukawa Issei for needing to relieve himself at this exact time. 

Well, it’s too late now, you’re already standing at the one directly next to Mattsun. You can’t exactly take your sweet time picking another urinal and shuffling about while Mattsun is here engaging you in conversation about his fucking math class.

If it was weird to choose the spot beside him, Mattsun doesn’t say anything about it, going about his business. 

Thankfully, if you could even be thankful for a situation like this, you’re so overwhelmed by Mattsun’s unexpected presence that it’s keeping your mind off the having-Hajime’s-dick thing. The discomfort is still there, but you have to pee so badly, you’re not too bothered by it at the moment. You’re also intently focusing on not blushing, willing the blood flow to your cheeks to cooperate with you for once.

Simultaneously, you’re concentrating on not looking at Matsukawa fucking Issei’s junk. You’re getting good at multitasking.

But apparently, not good enough. Your willpower wasn’t as strong as you thought, and your focus slips for a moment as you gaze down and–was someone going to tell you that Matsukawa fucking Issei was HUNG?

“Is there something wrong with my dick?”

You shoot your eyes back up to Mattsun, who’s tilting his head with a thick brow raised. 

‘Hajime, if you hear about this, I am so sorry.’

“Nope, it’s perfectly fine,” you respond curtly, before coming to the realization that Hajime probably wouldn’t like you telling his friends that their dicks are ‘perfectly fine’, “I mean, no. It’s seriously ugly.”

You cringe at your save, if you could call it that, and Mattsun (finally) zips up. He casts a momentarily offended look at you.

“I think you mean ‘seriously huge’.” 

He laughs deeply, heading to the sink. You completely agree with that sentiment, and you’re glad he knows he’s well endowed, but it’s best to keep those thoughts to yourself.

You follow suit, laughing as sarcastically as you can without letting your voice crack. 

“Whatever, man.”

You proceed to have awkward sink talk with Mattsun, and upon exiting the restroom you thank the gods when you see his class is the opposite way to yours. 

“See you at practice.”

He waves, and when Mattsun is out of sight, you sigh in immense relief. 

Just how many dicks are you going to see before you swap back? You sob internally, returning to your class.

But that does bring up a point, Men’s Volleyball Practice. 

You’re marginally grateful for that encounter with Mattsun, because now you’re acutely aware of the locker room changing time before and after practice. 

You bury your face in your arms, taking note to sprint like hell and get to practice early. You’ll be damned if you have to spend any amount of time struggling to avoid eye contact with your friends’ abs, as well as Hajime’s other teammates'.

A/N: AHAHA the CHAOS. Anyways, we all know Matsukawa got that horsec*ck. Thanks for tuning in for this week’s episode of y/n’s awkward panic. Iwaizumi Is So Done. 

taglist: @cybergovl​ @thatoneoddgirl8 @keijikunn 

Masterlist, Part 5

[littleoddwriter]

Cocky | Roman Sionis x Male!Reader

"10 with roman x reader, reader is being cocky and roman doesn't like it but when reader doesn't back down roman starts to realise this stubborn Bastard is more fun than annoying, go wild with it, I don't mind what direction you go in I just like the way you write roman" anon

summary; You’ve not been in Gotham for long so far and it was your first night at the Black Mask Club. Roman was absolutely breathtaking to you. So, you decided to try your luck with him, putting on a cocky facade to help you with it.

notes; Mentions of Alcohol use; Mentions of sex (at the end, briefly); Fake cockiness; First meeting; Little dialogue;  I took my chance to describe Roman the way I see him and fucking ran with it, rip. 

Some of your friends and you had decided to pay the Black Mask Club a visit one night. None of you had been in Gotham for a particularly long time thus far, but you've heard of the nightclub here and there; some really good things, and some rather questionable ones. Though, naturally the latter were just rumours. Everyone pretended to have never heard of or seen the owner of the club and his little lap dog be truly horrible to innocent club goers. Now that you found yourself sitting in one of the club's booths with a sweet drink in front of you, you understood the appeal of it. You couldn't really pinpoint why, but the aesthetics just really spoke to you. Although you thought it a little tasteless how the waitresses were presented, but they didn't look too unhappy with it. At least you hoped they weren't just really good actresses.

Across the club in a different booth you saw him. You thought he was really fucking handsome, even from afar. You wished he'd come closer, but it didn't look like he was about to change his current acquaintances for a while, engaged in the conversation as he was. Your friends had noticed that they have lost your attention entirely, so one of them nudged you with their elbow. You looked over to them, blushing a little. "What?" You asked, acting oblivious as ever. "We can see you eyeing that one guy. Go over to him and pay for one of his drinks or something!" One of them said, making shooing hand gestures. "Fuck no! He looks way out of my league. I mean, fuck, look at him. He looks expensive. I doubt he'd look at me twice," you shot back, biting your lower lip. "Oh, come off it! Just play it up a little, you know? Be cocky, act like you've got it all. I'm sure he won't care. Especially when you show off a little, y'know?" Another one of your friends said, leering at you playfully. Rolling your eyes good-naturedly, you downed the rest of your drink. Liquid courage, as it was called by so many people; and who knows, maybe they weren't wrong about it. Nodding, more to yourself than your friends, you got up and out of the booth, mock-saluting your friends. Then you sauntered over to the table where the handsome man sat with some women and a scarred up, bleach-blond guy, who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but where he was at this moment. The closer you came to the man's booth, the more uncertain you became. He was really fucking handsome, fuck. The glasses he wore shouldn't look good on anybody, yet here he fucking was, looking absolutely godly with them. And the black low-cut shirt under his blue velvet blazer that had some of his chest hair peak out of its collar? Fuck, you wanted to scream. He was perfect and so out of your fucking league. If you weren't already so close, you might have turned around, but that wasn't an option anymore. You were determined. Even if he'd laugh at you and turn you down. At least then you could say that you've tried. Taking a deep breath, you sat down in the only free space of the booth, next to the blond man. He glanced at you. God, he was gorgeous, too, but fuck, he looked absolutely dead behind the eyes. It had a shiver run down your spine. The scars on his face and neck didn't exactly lessen the intensity of it. Quickly, you looked away from him and at your target, this specimen of a human male. You smiled at him, trying not to look as nervous as you felt, but rather cocky, like your friend said. Just play it up and perhaps he'll spend a night with you, you tried to encourage yourself. Apparently just sitting down in his booth had caught his attention because he was looking at you expectantly, a hard edge in his eyes, which scared you a little, while also turning you on. "Are you lost?" He asked, and fuck, his voice was so fucking gorgeous, too; you couldn't make yourself care about his condescending tone. "I don't think so. May I buy you a drink?" You asked instead. He barked out a short laugh, it made your stomach flip in the best and worst possible way. "Well, maybe not then," you continued when he didn't answer apart from that quick laugh. "May I offer you anything else then?" The man's grin vanished and he looked at you, frowning, assessing. It made your skin crawl a little, but you didn't know why. Yet, you were so very mesmerised by him. You barely registered how he's sent the women, who sat there with him before, away. With them gone, he leaned forward, his gaze scrutinising. "Are you fucking serious?" He rasped. Not losing your cocky grin and posture, you fought every urge in you that screamed for you to fucking get up and leave. "Well, yeah. You're fucking gorgeous if you don't mind me saying that. So, I thought I should at least give it a shot, right? It's not every day that I see a guy as handsome as you," you replied honestly. His eyebrows climbed up his forehead, as a surprised chuckle left his lips. "Can you fucking believe that, Zsasz?" The man asked, looking at the blond guy - Zsasz, apparently. "Sure as fuck not, Boss," Zsasz shot back. "Should I get rid of him?" "Hm, no. I'm interested to see where this is going," the handsome man said, talking to the other man as if you weren't there at all. Looking back at you, he made a hand gesture, indicating for you to go on. "Well, frankly, I don't know what else I should try, but I would really appreciate it to spend the night with you," you grinned. He got a little in your face then, looking at you intensely. "Do you have any idea who you're talking to?" "No, I honestly don't. Should I?" You felt like you were treading into dangerous territory, but you really couldn't make yourself care about it. "Hah! Hilarious!" He barked out dryly. "I'm serious. I don't know who you are. All I know is that you're fucking breathtaking, so I wanted to try my luck at least, y'know?" "Fucking unbelievable. You're not from here then?" You shook your head. "Roman Sionis is the name. I'm the humble owner of this establishment." Your eyes widened almost comically, you were sure. "Shit," you muttered under your breath. Of course, he was! "You know, anyone else who's as bold and stupid as you were tonight, wouldn't see the light of day after doing so," he rasped, leaning back against the cushions. "Yet, I have to admit that I'm a little intrigued. You don't seem to be a boring fuck, like all the others." Chuckling nervously, your cocky facade crumbled slowly, but surely. "Well, uh- I don't know what to say to that. Thank you?" "What's your name, baby?" The gorgeous man - Roman - asked. The pet name made you shiver. "Uh, y/n, nice to meet you officially then," you replied a little dumbly, stumbling over your words. Fuck, you should have kept up the act a little longer, this was embarrassing. "Nice to meet you, indeed." He looked you up and down and your stomach made several flips in time of it. He was driving you crazy. "What would you like to drink?" Roman then asked you. You replied with the same sweet drink that you've had before. He smiled and waved over one of his waitresses, who took the order gracefully. The way the entire situation suddenly turned on you hadn't been entirely unexpected, yet it had your mind reeling. You couldn't possibly predict what was going to happen next. "Tell me about you, sweetheart," Roman said, or rather commanded, and automatically you did, telling him things about you that you would have never told anyone after knowing them for seemingly two seconds. Later that night, you found yourself going upstairs to his loft with him. It couldn't have been more perfect. He was very sure of himself and what he wanted and what he didn't like, and you followed his every say perfectly. It had been a long, but exciting night. You thought that you couldn't have possibly felt more alive, as he absolutely ravished you, making you moan and groan loudly and without a care in the world. Remembering it, you felt a little embarrassed by the noises you've made, but to this day, he continued to tickle them out of you, always knowing which spot would elicit which noise from you. Even in public. That night was almost a year ago, now, and you couldn't be happier about defying your every body and mind's scream for you to have turned around and turned your back on this life you've had ever since. 

[gryphsdeadbones]

hey from one nd person to another the comic where fm gordon says a slur seems kind of in poor taste. ik ur not intentionally making light of it and tht occurring in fm should be criticized but while you dont make it out to be a good thing making jokes about it and calling him a "slurboy" is kind of questionable? it makes it seem more like a plotpoint and angst rather than the creator of fm genuinely fucking up in the past (and having moved on from it)! i think exploring fm coming to terms with being nd is a good idea but this isnt the best way to do it. if you want me to explain my point more lmk if/when u post this and i will! someone already made a post abt it but it was kinda strongly worded and i wanted to approach you more calmly because i genuinely dont want to call you out or start drama or anything ;-;

first off thank you for being civil and patient with me i appreciate this ask a lot- also this got long- im not in a flying rage or anything when i bold or emphasis text, i just needed it also for my own readability and since im not the best at wording- hopefully this hellsite works and my response is under the cut

i would like to know how is it in poor taste when freemind explicitly gets clocked at the very end for saying it. the entire point of the comic was to show that saying the r slur has existed in his source and is bad

im not sure how much more direct i can get, with the disclaimer/warning list growing longer and longer and out there for a huge sign that says “this au can get dark as fuck and these subject matters are treated seriously/not something to mess around with.” Like yes, there are some jokes in the asks and other comics, but that specific comic is not supposed to be “haha thats funny”. it has a serious tone using a rough sketch style bc i was super tired and wanted to vent

was it just the direct reference to it that just made people uncomfortable? because thats 100% understandable, and i made sure i tagged it appropriately (although admittedly, a little bit late since i thought the filter would catch at least the main thing)

i think what some people somehow got from it is “exploring sensitive content = endorsing said content” which! that is not the intent! i absolutely do not want people saying that word! I don’t want people thinking that is any way okay for this character to say

its more of a damned if i do address it, damned if i dont.

if it never comes up, people are gonna assume that ‘oh this character says slurs and is shit, surely the creator or fan-creator MUST be okay with it and woobifies freemind and absolves him of any mistakes’ or something like that. no. this asshole has an arc and i want to do it right. its serious and i think it shouldn’t be shoved under the rug

and people just. dont want to read for context for whatever reason. theyll start watching it and get taken aback by the slur and start blaming me ‘hey you never warned for this’ when very early on i keep mentioning over and over ‘you dont have to watch it if you dont want to! This has slurs and 2000s internet brand humor/style’ You really dont, I’m not forcing you to watch it- Literally all you need to know is either canon half life or hl/vrai. thats it. fm mostly follows hl1 with very slight changes.

so i had to make something that:

1. warns people who arent aware and dont want to go through my asks or about/warning pages (for whatever reason) and just want to see the art

2. also NOT downplay freemind’s canon assholery. listen, i kinda despise writing mean and cruel characters, theyre hard to do, and a lot of people get shit for doing it wrong or people going “character = author”

i’ve also considered leaving the bubbles blank, but then people could fill it with whatever they want, then blame me for being vague. or they’d fill it in with a different kind of slur that freemind has never used, even if he MIGHT be the type to do that. I needed to explicitly mention that it is ableist slur. There are shitty racist and other problematic jokes, but never those kinds of extreme racial slurs to my knowledge.

Although I do see your point that maybe joking about it outside of the serious stuff might not be the best route. The slurboy jokes are getting stale, and I will try a better way to remind people.

The thing that gets to me is that it feels people are more than ready to defend either Ross Scott or Gordon Freeman the fictonal character himself. I don’t??? really care for Ross Scott, so I don’t know if he’s ever brought it up specifically. I’m not really calling him out or cancelling him. Idc for some white man’s feelings, im only bringing the timeframe of That era and reworking it to fit in This current era.

And I hate to break it to people: Gordon Freeman is a blank slate character, you can project whatever the hell you want on him as long as it’s not freakshit illegal garbage. The machinimas (fm, hl/vrai) do have SOME characterization that I want to nail down. It fucking sucks when characters are ooc, and I’m trying not to do that, even if it means sacrificing some comfort. But still mostly staying in my comfort zone if that makes sense

Now about the callout that I do not want to engage with the op directly:

Honestly im very surprised the comic was called out when i just. thought my stuff is relatively tame on exploring the bad shit canon freemind does. ive seen him in fancontent where they really dont hold back and its still played off as ‘kinda funny’ tone.

I really don’t know if people just want any reason to hate me for whatever reason. That’s fine I guess, I can’t please everyone and they dont have to like me.

But like. isn’t it so much easier for the op of that to block me and the post and move on. Why kick up such a fuss. I can see that thinly veiled death threat of a vague. That’s pretty fucked up- Like holy fucking god, you do not have to like my stuff. I’m not holding you at knifepoint to like my stuff. I’ve specifically made two different tags (one general au, one specific au) if anyone wants to blacklist it for their own reasons I do not need to know. I don’t want to know.

You’re allowed to be uncomfortable. You’re allowed to unfollow/blacklist/block.

However you just don’t go ranting about it for something you horribly misinterpreted. If it bothers you so badly, literally just. drop me a message to clarify. thats it. or save yourself the time and block me.

I’ve blocked the op for both our sakes, but if anyone wants to send this post to them, then thats fine. I don’t want anything to do with them.

I don’t want to link the post and blow it up. I just want shit clarified, dropped and we can move the fuck on with our lives. 

If you’re reading this and don’t know what the post is, please don’t bother. I do not want people going after the op with threats, please keep it civil, I’d prefer if you don’t engage with the post at all on my behalf.

Despite this huge wall of text, I do not want this to be a big deal, so please don’t ask me about the details.

_

As for anon, feel free to dm me either on here or. Maybe on discord if you’d still like to suggest or have something more cleared up. I’m still willing to hear any kind of feedback, and i want to thank you again for being reasonable about this

[mor-beck-more-problems]

Intro to Balancing Your Life || Morgan & Sasha

TIMING: Current

PARTIES: @sasha-r-blog & @mor-beck-more-problems

SUMMARY: Sasha drops in on a new class on campus; Morgan is only too happy to offer encouragements.

“…And who is it that determines the definition of humanity? What kind of definitions do we see offered by Victor, or Henry Cleveral, or the Creature?” Morgan asked the class. The students, while not thrilled with some of Mary Shelley’s ‘big words’ had enough preparation to offer semi thoughtful ideas. Obviously, Victor thought he could define what human means. One of her try-hard students, eager to please every adult in sight, posited that while Victor’s definition of humanity is the one that dominates the narrative, the intrusion of the creature’s perspective halfway through the book is meant to compel the reader into questioning its validity. “Yes!” Morgan tossed the kid a candy from her bowl. “The midpoint crisis here upends our expectations through thought, rather than action. It is, structurally, the center, the heart of the story, changing what we believe to be true. But, are we convinced by the Creature’s definition of his humanity? Why or why no–”

Morgan’s timer, the theme song of The X-Files, went off.

“Shit. Alright, that’s time everybody! Do your homework, do your reading, and get ready for Fan-Fiction Friday! And you–” She pointed to the newcomer sandwiched at the corner of the seminar table. “Come see me for a minute. The rest of you: glad you love each other, but please get out.” As the room cleared out she began to gather up her things. “I’ll level with you, I haven’t checked my roster, so I’m not sure if you’re a late add or just checking things out. But either way, I might be able to answer any questions you have better one-on-one instead of just looking at you across the room.”

Sasha watched the other students mingle and leave, a second of nervousness keeping her in her seat before the professor called out to her. It was hard to parse the tone in Professor Beck’s voice when Sasha’s immediate assumption at a teacher saying to “see me” was that she had fuck up somehow. But either way, Sasha walked towards the desk, dodging any curious looks from her exiting classmates.

“Um, hi. Sorry I didn’t mean to cause any trouble by sitting in.” She shifted the straps of her backpack, tugging them against her shoulders, as if the weight would somehow shield her from the awkwardness. “I’m Sasha Rodriguez. You gave me your office hours awhile ago. I uh, didn’t get a chance to visit but I saw your name on the winter session course list  and thought I’d check it out. I’m trying to branch out I guess.”

It took Morgan a few minutes to place the girl. She didn’t give out her school contact information to everyone, but it happened often enough that she had more than one name floating around her head. But the more she looked at her, the nervousness, the eagerness, the closer Morgan got to a hunch. “Oh, you’re the girl trying to figure everything out in college. I’m glad you decided to come by. If you’ve got some spare time, we can go somewhere and talk? I’d love to have you join in the spring, if you like what you’ve seen so far.” She dumped her books and laptop into her bag, and shouldered the load, handling the bulk with ease thanks to her strength. “Come on. Why don’t you start by telling me what you’re branching out from and what you thought about class today.”

“Oh, yeah, okay.” Sasha said as she moved to follow the professor. She still wasn’t used to how casual some professors could be. In high school they made it sound like professors were all strict, no nonsense, and unforgiving. And Sasha had certainly had professors like that during her first semester. But here was a professor throwing candy to students and cursing in class and talking about fan fiction. It was cool, but weird to process.

“I’m in computer science and I’ve only really taken courses in that department and math stuff. Oh, and also English 101, for the gen ed.” Those classes had been a lot different from what Sasha had just sat in on. Even the one English class she took didn’t really match up, that one having been run by an exhausted looking graduate teaching assistant who didn’t seem all that interested in teaching.

“The class was cool, though I feel like a lot of the stuff you were saying went over my head.” Sasha had a moment of internal panic, worried that came off as implying Professor Beck was bad at teaching. “I’ve just never been good at looking into books, but the class was interesting. I was surprised you mentioned fanfiction at the end. I didn’t think most professors even knew what that was.” Oh no, did that sound rude too? Sasha closed her mouth before she could say something dumb. Besides her advisor, if you could even count their meetings as conversation, and Ben, Sasha hadn’t really spoken one on one with a professor before. It still felt a bit surreal.

“Oh, that’s just because you’re coming in at the tail end of the course. I don’t throw my students into the deep end before I’m certain they can at least, you know, doggie paddle.” Morgan smiled good naturedly and lead them up to the main sitting area in the English building, setting her bag down carefully and making herself comfortable. “I can tell you that looking into books isn’t so different from the way you look into the stories in other media. Movies, TV, video games, comic books--our relationship to the stories we engage with say so much about what we envision for ourselves and the world. The more we understand and invest that relationship, the more empowered we feel to take control of our fate.” Morgan stopped herself from saying anything more and laughed, low and self deprecating. “Oh, jeez, don’t tell the other professors I said that. But, anyways, yes, the aforementioned reasons are what fan-fiction and other forms of counter-storytelling are so important. But more important than that is doing something that’s going to challenge you in positive, enjoyable ways. And making time for a little fun.” Morgan held her fingers up, like this much. “Can I ask how the rest of college is going for you, Sasha?”

Sasha followed her and sat in the unfamiliar sitting room. She gave a small smile as Professor Beck talked about stories and how people related to them, finding that she had been nodding along without realizing. She stopped once she did, somehow worried that it came off as over eager, as if a professor would ever get mad at someone being interested in what they were saying. If only the professor knew how close that hit to home for her. All those stories of kids getting superpowers, it was real. As if it had jumped straight off the page. As if Sasha had willed it into being. In the back of her mind Sasha wondered how she would have reacted to suddenly growing calls if she hadn’t grown up on comics and superhero movies. It felt like the blueprint to everything now.

Lost in her own thoughts she was a bit startled when the professor’s tone shifted. “No, no I agree, I think. I think all that stuff is important. Storytelling. I mean, I’m not much of a reader but comics and games and movies have been really important to me.” She wished there was a major in that stuff. Or crime fighting. She’d be on the dean’s list if her nightly patrols counted for credits.

“It’s been going okay. I mean, I don’t really do much outside of classes. I’ve been trying to do more but I mostly keep to myself.” It was the same thing she had told her advisor and Professor Campbell, but more and more Sasha felt silly for saying it. It wasn’t like she did nothing, just nothing related to college life. But it wasn’t like she could tell her professors she was protecting White Crest. Or at least trying to.

Morgan noticed Sasha’s interest and perked up at once. “You know, we do cover films in my class,” she said, grinning slyly. “And books. But still. It’s the same kind of thought process as with books, so it might as well be given its time and place. There’s plenty of other courses like that in this department, even a film and media studies minor. You should do what makes you happy, because undergrad coursework doesn’t matter half as much as you think it does. It’s all internships and jobs and connections and recommendations that help you get anywhere. And this place, college, has a lot of flaws and problems, but one of the best ways to make it worth it is leave knowing as much as you can about the things that matter to you most.” But that was about all the pitching she was willing to do on behalf of her class. Besides, being a student at UMWC came second to being a kid in White Crest. Morgan couldn’t help but look at the girl and wonder what this place would do to her. Morgan pushed the thought away, she couldn’t let herself focus on a big, bad future like it was some kind of unstoppable force.

“This might sound silly, coming from a professor who just tried to recruit you to their class, but I hope you do find other things besides school studies. There’s a much bigger world out there, and you should have something else in your life. At least friends and playing video games or going to Al’s at one in the morning or whatever kids your age do now. Life is for doing stuff, you know? Whatever it is you’re thinking about doing or joining, you should go for it!”

“I never really thought about taking a minor. I didn’t know they had one about film.” Honestly, more and more Sasha felt like she hadn’t planned much of anything when it came to school. Or life in general. But she supposed she could change that. If anything this talk had made her actually interested in looking into classes, something she had mostly breezed through doing in the past, simply checking off the boxes of what she needed for her degree. But if the professor was right and it didn’t matter that much... “Maybe I’ll try looking into classes for film and english and stuff like that. They seem fun. At least the stuff you were talking about seems fun.”

Maybe it would make school more interesting, instead of something Sasha went through the motions of to get to her real job. “Real job,” as being a superhero paid. As if she wouldn’t one day need a day job. College was a convenient way to pass the time and something she was told she had to do, but it would be nice to actually care about it, to feel like she was actually doing something.

“I do have hobbies...” Just none she could tell Professor Beck about. “But yeah, I should probably try to do more. I wanted to check out the library. I was supposed to help out with the comic collection there as a volunteer thing. So that’s a start I guess.” It had almost slipped her mind, but that was something she had been genuinely excited for. It was just hard to remember stuff like that during the day when she was normally up all night. Her nightly patrols had turned her days sluggish and uneventful, filled with quick naps between class and maybe some video games alone in her dorm before she put on her costume and went out again. And she loved doing it, of course she loved going out at night to keep White Crest safe. But at the same time...

“Do you ever just get really focused on one thing?” Sasha asked the question before she was thought about it, but decided to keep going, even if it was dumb. “Like, you have something you like or is important and you just focus on that and everything else just kinda blurs into the background?”  Sasha rubbed nervously at the back of her neck. “I don’t know if that makes sense. I guess sometimes I feel like that. But I don’t know if I want to change it.”

“The library is a great start!” Morgan said. “You’re going to learn so much, and probably find people who have similar interests to you when they come to check out materials. But I hope you do other stuff, not for credit, just for you. You’re only going to be young once--” Hopefully.

She couldn’t help but smile at Sasha’s notion, that hyper-focus was something rare or embarrassing. “Oh, all the time. I have some art projects that I do on the side, and I can get so lost in my carving that hours can pass by so easily. Same with baking, or cooking something really involved. It’s almost like you’re connecting to something else, outside of or beyond you. There’s you, the thing you’re doing, and this energy it gives you, right?” Morgan watched the girl’s expression to see if she was getting it right. “Even if it’s just kind of like that, I don’t think you should change it. Whatever that thing is, it sounds to me like the universe is giving you the green light to keep going.”

Sasha nodded, giving a small smile. She was happy that Professor Beck seemed to get it and not think it was weird. Sure, Sasha's focus wasn’t on crafts or cooking, but it was the thought that counted. Her mind lingered on what she said about being given a green light. Really, what was a bigger green light than getting her powers? But she knew there was more to it than that. There had to be a reason it was her. She had to be able to do something with her powers, something to really help people. It was comforting to have the professor say she was right, that the universe wanted her to do what she was already doing, but there was a pang of melancholy knowing Sasha couldn’t tell her, or anyone, the truth. How much did advice and validation matter when the person saying it didn’t know the full truth?

She shook the thought from her head. “Thanks. Sorry, I didn’t mean to ask you a bunch of weird questions when I came to sit in. I think it would be cool to try out one of your classes though if you still have room for students.” Sasha chased away the worry of struggling in a class she wasn’t used to. If worst came to worst she could always drop that class. At least it would be something new, something she might actually end up liking.

Beaming and unawares, Morgan took out a post-it from her bag and scribbled out the class information before handing it to Sasha. “Don’t be embarrassed about questions,” she said. “Questions are how we learn. You’re never going to find anything interesting if you always leave well enough alone.” She stood up, getting the vibe that Sasha had opened up all she felt like so far. “I hope to see a lot more of you this coming semester,” she said. “Hoping even more that you do something just for you, but.” She put a finger to her lips. That’ll just be our secret.

“Thanks. I’ll try to keep asking them.” Well that was one social interaction that didn’t go horribly. Wasn’t great that Sasha considered that a victory for herself but she was going to take the feeling of accomplishment anyways. “And I’ll try to do stuff for myself too.” That was going to take more work than just registering for a class, but maybe it wouldn’t be the worst. She couldn’t promise herself she would put in the effort though. Tucking the post-it note into her backpack she smiled and said goodbye to Professor Beck. Maybe a few new classes would be enough to make her college life, and her daily life, seem a bit more exciting and a bit less like time to just get through. But her patrolling White Crest at night was still more important. Professor Beck didn’t have to know that part though.

[ardenttheories]

Homestuck's always been antagonistic and insensitive, but I don't recall seeing any of you try to dox Hussie? But please, continue to rationalise how cyberbullying lgbt people for not being nice enough and having opinions about a fictional character you disagree with puts you in the right. A story doesn't go the way you'd like and this is how you respond? You COULD have just not bothered reading it instead of CHOOSING to make your online life about something you hate like a toxic weirdo.

Hi, Kate. I’m so glad you could find my blog. (Edit: that was a joke. Apparently, some anons find it impossible to tell that I don’t actually think you’re Kate). It’s clear to me that you didn’t take the time to read through any of the content that’s actually on here, since you’re throwing around rather wild accusations, so let me take this down step by step.

Homestuck has only rarely been antagonistic and insensitive. Things like the Alpha Trolls - which were clear criticisms of fandom culture - were relatively few and far between, and when we complained about them, they actually stopped. Remind me, for instance, how relevant the Alpha Trolls were to the plot? How long they stayed as mockeries towards the fandom? Yeah, not long. I actually have talked about this before on the blog - alongside other things I thought were negative towards the fandom from the original comic - but the difference here is that... in the entirety of Homestuck, these things were outliers and inconsistencies. They stuck out because they were in stark contrast to the otherwise wonderfully handled content Homestuck went over.

For instance, Homesuck is critical of abuse - especially in terms of relationships. We see through a critical lense the shit normalisation of parental abuse can do to a child - with actual talk of triggers and of the mental and emotional scarring left behind, and the complexities of the child’s feelings towards the parent’s death through Dave - and we see how self destructive relationships can be, how harmful they are, and how hard it can be to leave them - such as Terezi’s very toxic blackrom with Gamzee, which was always portrayed as something negative and harmful especially with how worried Karkat was for her and how withdrawn she became during its run, and Dirk’s relationship with Jake, which goes very much over how communication can cause a deterioration in romantic relationships especially when the two participants have conflicting mental illnesses. 

It also goes over how men, though they can be mired in toxic masculinity, can choose to be good. How sometimes we’re not born as good people, but we can become good people through the love we have for the people around us, through frequent attempts to check what we’re doing, through the sheer willpower to be good. Dirk’s entire arc, knowing that he could very easily become Bro but deciding he doesn’t want to be, that it’s something he wants to work on, is so important and incredibly powerful. Mental illness in men is often just given as an excuse to make them violent with no attempts at betterment - so Dirk actually existed as proof that you don’t have to be that stereotype. 

In contrast, Homestuck^2 completely uncritically gave Jade, who was cis, a dog dick, made her, a bisexual woman, a sex maniac and the yaoi “woman who gets in the way of the gays” trope, made her a cheater and someone who forced her partner into the relationship to begin with, and made her a neglectful mother after having cheated with her best lesbian friend in something that has incredible recall to just about every futanari video ever - and they tried to claim that this was good representation of trans women, actually, and that the only reason we didn’t like it is that Jade is “a woman” who “has sex”.

Likewise completely uncritically, they made Gamzee, an anti-black stereotype, enter a relationship with Jane, a fascist, and then made the entire thing into a cuck joke wherein Jake being frequently drunk and sexually assaulted was funny because he wasn’t “man enough”. They then forced him to go back to his abuser after he left her in a scene that read very much like, “ridiculous man thinks woman is abusing him, go back and do your manly job”. 

This, of course, doesn’t even go into the travesty that is any form of trans representation in the comic. Roxy, a trans man, is barely even focused on as trans; they make no attempt to enforce in the fandom that he’s a trans man the way they do that June is a trans woman, and even then, they seem to think that just saying someone is a trans woman is actually good representation. Not, like, bringing it into the comic - just saying that it’s a thing. And of course, that’s not even going into the completely uncritical lense they have of Vriska, wherein her being a trans woman completely frees her of any and all blame for the past abuses she has comitted, and once again she becomes an amazing character to save the day without a single flaw - which in turn inherently associates trans women with abuse apologism, abusers, and the ideology that just because we’re trans we can get away with anything scott free. 

I honestly cannot think of one instance of good and genuine representation in Homesuck^2, nor can I think of any scene where negative content was actually treated as the negative thing it actually is. There’s no critical lense at all, not like we have in Homestuck; there’s just no fucking comparison. And this isn’t a one-off situation, either. Whereas Homestuck does do fuck ups - isn’t perfect - in between the otherwise brilliant content, Homestuck^2 is just founded upon these horrific takes. There’s almost no good content in between, and what is left is a slog to get through when surrounded by the thick slurry of shit that compromises futa Jade, abuse apologism Vriska, and victim blaming Jake. 

Of course, we didn’t “doxx” Hussie. Hussie actually listened to our complaints, for the most part, and worked with us to create something that worked well. The way Homestuck^2 was touted to work. You know, since it was meant to be written with the fandom in mind, influenced by the things we suggest and react to. We went into Homestuck^2 with the explicit idea that we were going to be listened to and taken into consideration when it was being written - the way we were with old Homestuck. I’m very sorry to say that, when you make these expectations, people are going to be a titchy bit upset when you then commandeer the entire thing and exclude the fandom from any of the process that you said they were going to be part of.

Additionally, it’s rather funny, isn’t it, that what you call doxxing is actually just people upset with how triggering content is being handled, and going to the people who actually wrote the content in order to voice their complaints? It’s almost as if social media exists to allow this communication between reader and author, which is a fundamental thing you’ll learn in any creative writing course, such as the one I’m on currently, wherein you’re actually taught how to respond to social media and to build up your image with your fans. 

Homestuck^2 is an ongoing piece of media. We’re well aware that we have a potential to change these uncritical takes and the horrific way they’re being handled if the writers will just listen to genuine criticism. This is, frankly, no different to the people who go to J. K. Rowling’s Twitter to tell her how harmful her transphobic comments are; because if she believes these things, they will work their way into her texts and will perpetuate harmful ideologies. 

The literal same thing is happening in Homestuck^2 - again, such as futa Jade, which normalises the point of view that bisexuals are cheaters and completely trivialises what it means to be trans, or Gamzee, which perpetuates just about every anti-black stereotype possible. Media does have a very powerful impact on what people see in the real world. This is why, for instance, positive black characters are so important in media; if they’re always portrayed as villains, then people will see real world black people as villains as the ideology is perpetuated to the point of fact. This is especially true if the people already believe in the ideology.

Fiction is one of the best ways that we can counteract this cycle. If you make a character that they like, and they happen to be positive representation, and then they watch more media that is likewise positive representation, it’s more likely to stick that these positive representations are the actual experiences of minority groups. Also? It’s important TO those minority groups. A black person, especially right now, doesn’t want to see an anti-black stereotype fuck a fascist, engage in sexual assult, and then enact pedophilia - only to die at the hands of a hero and be laughed at for the death. Surprisingly, shit like this is why we need to tell the writers that what they’re doing is harmful, that they’re perpetuating phobic ideologies, and that we need better representation - especially in a comic that is this widely read, and also has a very large minor fanbase. 

I shouldn’t need to explain why exposing minors to anti-black stereotypes, transphobic, homophobic, biphobic, abuse apologism, victim blaming, and the trivialisation of rape and sexual assault (especially towards men), might be a federal fucking issue. 

So, no, we’re not actually cyberbullying LGBT+ people. We’re trying to hold shitty writers accountable for the incredibly toxic and harmful ideologies they’re forcing into a text that has always been written with critical thought in mind. 

I should also point out how funny it is that you’re focusing on how some of the writers are LGBT+ - as if we’re not? I’m trans, I’m gay, and I’m ace. Yes, I can actually be these things and absolutely furious that a trans women is writing some of the most transphobic shit I’ve seen in a while into characters she then claims to be completely free of blame. We can be furious that people within our own community are enforcing negative stereotypes.

Being LGBT+ does not make them free from blame. We cannot give them a free pass to be racist, to be transphobic, to be homophobic, biphobic, to be abuse apologists, just because they’re LGBT+. Not only because that’s just a terrible fucking idea to begin with, but because it also reflects so, so badly on the community as a whole. As if being part of the community instantly means that you can do no wrong? As if there can be no toxicity within our own community, despite the fact that there very much is and it is still an issue to this day?

That is such an issue, one of the biggest issues even shown just in Vriska and the way Kate handles her as a whole - and, once again, is WHY we need to get them looking at this shit more critically. This view that LGBT+ people can do no wrong and cannot be criticised is shoved into Homestuck^2 and, once again, perpetuates the ideology. This isn’t something to be proud of. This isn’t something that’s actually okay.

Also, your point that the writers aren’t nice enough and that we disagree on fictional characters - well, I’ve already been over the second part. But for the first part, I would like to remind you that they aren’t just random LGBT+ people on the internet that we’re going to because we think their takes are a little shitty. They’re actual writers working on a piece of media. They are official content creators. 

Again, one of the first things you learn on any creative writing course is that when you become a writer, you gain a significant amount of responsibility for your interactions with the fandom. This is something that you genuinely have to expect, and if you don’t, then, unfortunately you just don’t know what it means to write something that thousands of people have a potential to read. As a writer, it is your responsibility to portray your image online; it is your responsibility to engage with the fans in a meaningful way; it is your responsibility to not cause drama and to listen when criticism is brought up, to have genuine discussion and not to perpetuate hatred - especially towards your own fanbase.

Consider, for instance, the way I’m talking to you right now. This is the sort of tone that someone should take when talking to a fan about genuine criticism. When things are brought up, you go over them step by step, you listen, you write back - you don’t go on a flurry of “fuck yous” to a minor who asked you why your team didn’t post anything about the BLM movement on the official Twitter, and you definitely don’t respond to every comment with genuine criticism with the word “pigshit”. You almost definitely don’t tell your trans masculine and masculine-aligned nonbinary fans that their opinions don’t matter.

As a writer, Kate and the rest of the team have a responsibility with their interactions with their fans. They aren’t just normal fandom voices anymore; they’re official fandom voices, voices that have more weight behind them than anyone else. They’re who people are going to turn to when it comes to anything regarding Homestuck^2. Their words now reflect literally everything about Homestuck^2, the future of Homestuck as an expanded universe, and the opinions of the group as a whole. They have to be careful with what they say. They have to be held to the same standards as industry voices because that’s essentially what they are - especially now that Homestuck is something you pay for. 

Also, this isn’t a point of the story not going the way I want. This is a point of many of people in the fandom being upset with how content is being handled, upset that their voices are being shut down, upset that triggering content is being laughed at or used flippantly and without care or respect. This is people being upset that trigger warnings were removed specifically to make the comic unsafe for them as a punishment for daring to say that something was wrong. This is people being upset that a piece of media that used to be so fucking good at portraying sensitive content in a critical light, that used to be so good at normalising LGBT+ identities and healthy representations of those identities, has suddenly turned to this. 

The story can go whatever way it wants - and frankly, that’s fine be my. What isn’t fine is that content is being used specifically to hurt and to incite.

And, of course, that final piece; nothing will improve if we don’t say that it’s wrong to begin with. Someone needs to voice the complaints of the fanbase, othrewise these toxic ideologies are going to go unchecked. One of the biggest things I’ve come to understand while making these posts is that a significant portion of the fandom feels isolated in their hurt; they don’t think other people feel the same way they do, and several people have mentioned feeling like they were going crazy because they were upset with things that the text and writers are normalising. It’s so important to make sure that these people know they’re not alone. It’s so important to make sure that our voices are heard. It’s so important to try and create critical discussion and debate over something that so many people still fucking love. 

The thing is, I don’t hate Homestuck^2. I actually really, desperately wish I could enjoy it. I wish I could read through it and theorise, could go in depth about how amazing the characters are, could write long and extensive posts on how creative and engaging it is - could even just go on about how interesting the Meat-Candy divide is, and all the points they’re trying to make about canonicity. But I genuinely fucking can’t. There is just so, so much wrong in the text that is completely unrelated to plot and to the overarching Point that makes it impossible for me to read, to want to read, to try to encourage other people to read. They’re things that literally don’t need to be in there, either; stereotypes and toxic ideologies and uncritical or badly handled sensitive topics that could be rectified so, so easily. 

Homestuck^2 could be amazing for a lot of the fandom. It could be something that we all rally around the same way we did for the original comic. For for a lot of people, it has ruined their fandom experience, has ruined their desire to want to read anything more to do with Homestuck, and has caused a significant portion of the fandom to just drop out entirely. That in and of itself should be a sign that this isn’t just a little fandom drama. That this is something much bigger and much more serious that, just maybe, needs to be looked into, talked about, understood - and, potentially, changed. 

[drama-and-tv]

First half of 2020 tv shows/dramas completed

SO apparently, my original blog “may contain sensitive media” (how my original blog contains them, I have no idea because I don’t think I have ever written nor posted anything that is inappropriate) so here I am, making a new one even though there are just so so many thoughts I poured in that blog since the beginning of 2018. 

I wish I could put all of the contents from there here. But since I don’t know how to do that, I shall only put up my thoughts on the things that I have completed watching this year (2020) that I have put up from there.

With that being said, here they go... most of them in the original words that I had typed/written from last time. My only change will be the rating (now I shall use the numerical rating since I have figured how to rate things properly in numbers now) :

Season 2 of Sex Education was such a delight to watch! While I do feel that it lacks some Otis and Maeve’s interactions (and wtf is that cliffhanger?), I feel that the other characters are given the opportunity to flesh out and have really good story lines. Definitely a step up to Season 1!

FINAL RATING: 9/10

Bad news: The third part/season of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is the worst part of the show that I’ve watched so far. Good news: I still somewhat like it.

The main issue of this new-released part is how messy it is story wise. There are far too many things going on that it felt a little bit too chaotic - like there’s the Pagan storyline, there’s that Faustus storyline etc etc. It’s just too much.

What makes me still enjoy it is because of its characters. I am attached to the characters and I wanna see their journeys in this show. For instance, Ambrose and Prudence are probably the standouts in this season because they are just super badass here.

Overall, it’s okay. I would still watch this show when the new set of episodes are released.

FINAL RATING: 6/10

Honestly, Chocolate would’ve been better or ranked higher if they cut down the number of episodes - from 16 to maybe just 8.

Despite its melodramatic tone and ridiculous story line, I actually really enjoyed the initial episodes. I mean okay, the time jumps are a bit too much but I was sold on the emotions and the characters. It’s a melodrama, for crying out loud - it’s not meant to be realistic.

But then, for some unknown reason, it got draggy around the second half of the drama. And it affected my love for the drama. It was like they put a brake on the main plot and save for it the last episode (which it did).

This does not mean that it’s not a good drama. For the most part, I actually enjoyed it and I was invested in the characters’ journeys.

Just that it could be better.

FINAL RATING: 6/10

Honestly, Black Dog was not a drama I thought of watching. The posters and the plot did not make me feel compelled to watch it because for some reason, I thought this drama would be something like those corruption dramas or corporate dramas - while I can enjoy those kind of dramas, I do have to be in the ‘mood’ to watch them.

It was only when I started seeing some gifs/images over Tumblr that I started to consider it. And when more and more people raved about it, I knew that I just have to check it out.

And just like what these people said, it was good. A really good drama, actually! I think what I love about this drama is how realistic it really is. I like that I can actually relate to the world and the characters in the drama. While Haneul and I don’t share the same type of field, I can empathise with her struggles in obtaining/maintaining her employment and sitting for the certification exam. I can empathise with how she tries to navigate the world of school and teaching.

All I know is I have definitely cried or teared up in some of the episodes. (that’s really a feat cause the last time I cried like this in a tv show/drama is season 3 of Anne with an E and we all know how I feel about that show.)

I also love how there is a good balance between drama and comedy in this drama. While this is primarily a drama, I like that it doesn’t feel heavy. It makes it easier to watch multiple episodes in one sitting.

If there is one minor problem with this drama, it is that it feels like the main drama ends with 12 episodes and the remaining 4 episodes are the epilogue or extra episodes. While the remaining 4 episodes are still pretty good, it has somewhat cooled my love for this drama. However, I do appreciate it and it gives a good look at what happened after Haneul’s first year of teaching.

With that, I have contemplated on whether to give this drama the best rating I could give in the drama or the second best. Considering that there is barely any flaw in this drama, I shall give it...

FINAL RATING: 10/10

Season 2 of Kingdom did not disappoint. It maintained the same energy and intrigue that it brought in the previous season. There’s the excitement, there’s the high-quality production and there’s never really a chance for it to falter or drag. Its pacing remains consistent and I remain hooked to the end. I also like that this show does not end in an agonising cliffhanger - it wraps up the main plot that was introduced in the first season and at the same time, teases on what is to come in the possible season 3.

Overall, a really good season!

FINAL RATING: 9/10

I gotta admit, Crash Landing On You was a pretty nice watch! I initially had quite low expectations for this drama - I have hard time being truly engaged in big budget romcoms because they tend to be unrealistic and too fluffy (and I like my dramas pretty realistic).

But to my surprise, I actually really like it. The episodes (particularly the first half of the drama) were candies to the mind and to the eye! Yes, this drama is hella trope-y and there’s a lot of moments which are very unrealistic and are there to be flashy and amp up the romance. But you know, something about this drama just works.

Of course, like a lot of k-dramas, the second half of the drama is less addictive to watch. But it was still a pretty good watch. I mean, it got my mum really addicted and my brother to finally watch a k-drama beyond Kingdom after all these years.

FINAL RATING: 8/10

For someone who doesn’t know shiz about baseball, Stove League was still a very good drama to watch. It has that underdog story (in this drama, the under-performing baseball team for 2 years in a row, Dreams) that makes it easy to root for. It remained tight and consistent throughout its run. Its tone is very balanced - has good balance of serious and comic relief.

And most importantly, it’s not very hard to like the characters that matter.

Overall, very solid drama!

FINAL RATING: 9/10

When the Weather is Fine is really a good drama to watch at the moment, during the midst of this current pandemic. Even though initially (the first episode) it did not win me over due the drama’s slow pace, I gradually enjoy watching it regardless of its pace and eventually, I was hooked.

This drama has a very calming and “healing” aspect to it even though the subjects dealt can be serious. I like that even though there’s some serious issues here, the drama remains well-balanced and still has plenty of light-hearted scenes. Lim Hwi (the male lead’s younger sister) is definitely my favourite character in this drama as she brings a lot of sunshine to the table with her innocent teen self. Also, the comforting presence of the community (whether it being the Good Night Book Club member or the people/families in the neighbourhood etc) along with naturally serene setting make the drama feels warm.

With that, I recommend watching this drama, especially to anyone who wishes to seek comfort and feel warm.

FINAL RATING: 8/10

Netflix’s Never Have I Ever was an unexpected treat for me. I did not know the existence of this show prior to its release. I did not see any of its promos/trailers etc. So there was no expectations whatsoever prior to watching it.

My brother and I only happened to stumble upon it when trying to find something to watch on Netflix. So you can say that this was a present that came out of nowhere because as soon as I just went into it (within the first few minutes), I already really like it!

This show was funny. It was relatable as someone who comes from an Asian background. And most importantly, it has plenty of hearts. Trust me, I was tearing up when watching the last two episodes of this season (I sincerely hope that the show will be renewed for the next season).

Definitely a really nice show to binge quickly as it only has 10 half-hour episodes.

FINAL RATING: 9/10

Find Me in Your Memory was a pretty decent watch. Yes, it is a very standard kdrama in the sense that the plot is very very generic and there are so so many obvious tropes here. However, its characters and the chemistry of the main leads still made it worth a look. This drama might not be the most unforgettable or unique drama out there, but it is very easy to watch and it makes a good addition to anyone’s watchlist if you want something straightforward and not complicated.

FINAL RATING: 6/10

Man, A Piece of Your Mind could have easily been this perfect drama that I’ve ever watched this year had it only retained its original length. It is not to say that this drama is not good - it is as of now, actually one of the top dramas among the dramas I’ve watched this year.

This drama basically fits the type of drama I typically love: a realistic drama which examines more on its characters and focuses on emotions etc. Yes, I know people have complained that it is very slow but to me, that was part of its charm. I love slowly getting to know its characters and how they are feeling etc. I like being emotionally connected to them and follow on their journeys.

So I’m just sad the drama was cut from 16 episodes to 12 (reason being because of its low number of audiences). While the drama did its extreme best in making it work and it does not affect the main plot of the drama other than speeding things up nor does it really diminish my enjoyment for this drama, I’m just sad on what could’ve been if they were able to keep the extra 4 hours to the story. Like, we could’ve gotten better exploration on the characters etc (especially for instance that character who was played by the evil mother in law from Search: WWW and the Eunjoo���s Homestay residents and even frigging Hoon, Hawon’s colleague... like why was he even in the grandma’s house in the countryside?) . Things would’ve been more... organically unfold.

Despite all this, I still really enjoy watching this drama and I still remain invested in the characters’ journeys etc. Our main leads’ relationship feels warm and comforting. The vibe of this drama is just my kind of taste. And most importantly, I feel comforted watching it until the end.

FINAL RATING: 9/10

With that being said, those are some of the shows/dramas that I have completed up until now. Others that I have completed are season 2 of The Sinner (5/10), ITV’s Belgravia (6/10), Netflix’s The Circle France (soooo entertaining with plenty of drama and strategies, 8/10), season 18 of American Idol (8/10) and most recently, Netflix’s Extracurricular (I will eventually share my thoughts on it soon).

Stay tuned.

[bts7writings]

BTS When They’re Asked About You

JIN

What is something small that you do daily for each other to make your lives better?

Jin has a smile idly present on his face as his mind flashed through all the things you do - some funny, some annoying, some that he couldn’t say on the air, but he managed to pinpoint something that makes his life a little better.

“I think she does it unconsciously now,” He measures his words to make sure that what he says won’t get him in trouble with either you or his manager, “Whenever I’m near, she kissed my shoulders.” He breaks out into a laugh, “Her lips and my shoulders are in the same height level, so she just walks towards me and lets her lips rest on me.”

The hears some of the staff members behind the cameras make cute noises and do does the shows host. “...And what do you think you do for her?”

“I supply her with my visuals” he jokes.

His souvenir from the show was matching work out gear, which he laughed at since neither him or you productively worked out - but it’d be a great lounge wear when you guys are on break.

SUGA

Has any of your routines changed since you’ve been together?

“What hasn’t she changed?” He jokes into the mic, trying to make himself seen small among his staring members.

“Rare is the day that I used to have before we got together” he cant suppress his smile or slight annoyance that he’s changed for the better.

“I wake up and she’s there, so I cant go back to sleep because I want to wake her up more than I want to go back to sleep.”

He thinks closely on what happens next, trying to highlight the most PG moments, “I think about her” he smiles, “I go by furniture stores and think that a sofa looks comfy for her to sleep when I run late studio sessions. I text her where I am as an excuse to get to ask her where she is” he sighs, the smile lingering still, “Everything I do, I think about how it effect us and I thought that would be scary, but she does the same and somehow we come together”

They gave him the touch bracelets, which he places carefully back in their box - unable to control his smiles from wanting to show them to you.

JHOPE

Is there something they do that makes you instantly happy?

He starts laughing because talking about you makes him slightly uncomfortable. He likes to keep things private - which explains why there’s no articles or photos floating around of either of you, just one single article from bight that officially says he’s off the market.

“She breathes and I laugh” he says truthfully, “In all honestly, she’s very different from I am. She’s not very public, she doesn’t like to make jokes or laugh too loud or call attention.” He smiles remember just how shy you really are, “She’s my happiness and she doesn’t even believe it - I gravitate towards her and every gesture she makes, every small smile that she willingly shows me just makes me be on cloud nine”

“It’s a privilege to get to love her”

He unrolled the couple-shirts he received from the producers and he couldn't hold back his laughter. On the small pocket of the shirt, there was a tiny design of his ‘I’m your hope - you’re my hope’ saying.

RM

Do you believe people are meant to be?

He takes a while to think about the answer. He knows that the reason the interviewer is giving him these types of question is because he just announced his engagement.

“I believe that people are in the process of being meant to be.” He grabs his bottled water and chug, knowing that he’ll need to explain his thought a little more, “When ‘meant to be’ we usually believe in soulmates and fate and all that.”

“I don’t usually give into those types of ideas, but I kinda have to give it up for the universe for giving me someone as amazing as my fiancé” he smiles brightly, “I’m trying to say that… people are meant to be, but not if you’re not ready for it - self care comes first and knowing what you deserve and what other people deserve give any relationship a better outcome.”

“I’ve personally grown to be happy and deserving with ARMY and my fiancé is able to get a better, more mature, version of me because that’s what she deserves and I think I deserve her too”

He got a gift-box filled with ramen packets, “Now I can cook for her - for once.”

JIMIN

You’ve been the face of healthy relationships, do you guys ever fight?

“I’m glad you didn’t say goals - since she cringes every time she hears it.” His smile is hard to miss as he begins to talk about you, “but of course we fight? Its how we make up”

Once the laughing clams down, he clears his throat taking a more serious tone, “I think fighting in natural - and this is something she taught me” The room was silent as he began to explain further with is hand gesture, “I used to think that fighting was a way to hurt the other person, but she got made  when i said that” he combs his hair back , biting back another smile “- she said that arguing isn’t meant to hurt the other person, its meant to understand the other person.”

“I’m not saying that we don’t get angry at each other, because we do!” He lightly jokes, “But we don’t argue when we’re angry, we take time to put our anger to words in order for the other person to understand where we’re coming from.” He rolls his eyes at himself. “It’s easier said than done sometimes, but love can be enough.”

“We know you guys have a bunch of matching accessories and clothing-“

“Some are matching, some she just steals“ He giggles.

“Well we got you matching bracelets“

“Oh wow“ he smiles, “She’ll love this, thank you”

V

Any future plans? 

He can’t hold back his smile, obviously this question is the only thing on his mind after your begin wrapping up your final semester.

He sits up straighter, anxious to answer the question, “Future..” He lets the word vibrate inside the room, “I’ve been itching for her to finish her studies, since she’s supportive and I’m supportive - we don’t like to plan for the other really.” His smile widened again, “But we have discussed her moving in recently, I can’t really move my career, but since she’s just starting off it’ll be easier for her plus her Korean has greatly improved.”

Once you got him talking there’s no way he’d shut up about you. “I think I want whatever she’s able to give me for the future. I see her with me for sure, as long as she’ll have me.... and our kids and farmhouse filled with animals... in Switzerland” he teases you through the screen.

“Well I know she’s backstage” The interviewer said, “So we wanted to give you guys this as a thank you present.” There, in front of him was matching keychains with both of your initial on it - in hope to a good moving in together vibe.

“This is exactly what we needed”

JUNGKOOK

We all know you’ve had a very high profile friendship - how long was it till you guys got together?

“When we got together?” He scoffs at his comical memories, “You mean - when she decided to get together with me” He lets out a laugh, “I’m not good with affection...or telling people how I feel, but I’m pretty sure - I remember because i told my hyungs this - I’m pretty sure that I made my feeling pretty clear to her”

The audience laughs with him as well, the memories as clear as yesterday, “Since we had a such a high profile friendship, it was really hard to deconstruct the idea of us being together. She was ignoring all my advanced because she thought it was in her head and i’d never fall for her” He scoffs again kick back on his chair, “Which is ridiculous because have you seen her? She's the most perfect human being I’ve even seen. After a while I thought she was just rejecting me, but if it wasn't for my nosey hyungs we would've just stayed friends that liked each other too much”

The other members smiled fondly him talking non-stop. “So...” the interviewer couldn't contain the surprise anymore. “You're members were all very kind and all pitched in to surprise you with this”

Jungkook's eyes opened wider than they ever were, he knew exactly what was in the box. You and him have joked about it endlessly but they didn't think they’d actually be listing - or even take it serious.

“You did not just get us a bunny“ He says eyeing the box that was currently being opened. A small ball of fluff with floppy ear in the center to a pillow presented in front of him, “Y/n’s going to kill you guys, but this is so cool.“

__________________________________________________

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[vroenis]

Uncharted 4: An Era’s End

It’s recently come to light that game developer Naughty Dog has been subjecting its employees to crunch; the practice of overworking and underpaying staff in order to meet deadlines. This is not unique to Naughty Dog, nor to their current project pending release later this year, The Last Of US 2. Reports suggest that crunch has been endemic in the working culture of Naughty Dog for some time and this is now no surprise to us as such reports continue to surface about studio after studio, most in the corporately structured, premium funded and managed space we call “triple A” or AAA, but many smaller studios and independent spaces also. Several senior and long-tenured creatives have left Naughty Dog quite recently, and some may have been leaving earlier than those that have been reported during what’s turning out to be a turbulent development cycle for The Last Of Us 2.

Each month, as part of the paid subscription to the Playstation Plus online service, Sony offers a small selection of games. For April, one of them was Naughty Dog’s Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End, from which I derived my title. Not only am I here to suggest the studio’s troubles may have begun during the development of this game, first released back in 2016, but the title may have been one of the first significant indications that the book was closing on AAA development as we know it. I appreciate there have been many good voices shouting from the rooftops about the how unsustainable it’s been from before then, but the Naughty Dog for a long time seemed like a light in the dark, signalling that a big studio could still produce good product under strong leadership.

I feel that Uncharted 4 rather than The Last Of Us 2 is the real light, and instead of a light-house, it turned out to be a signal-fire warning that even then the composure of Naughty Dog was an illusion.

This piece is going to contain significant spoilers for Uncharted 4. It’s also not investigative - I just played it for the first time, completed it and I have some thoughts about it; these are my thoughts.

I didn’t like the third game at all. I took nothing away from it. I’ll never play it again as there’s nothing I want to relive from it, so I’d better look up the wiki on what happened in it... well that didn’t help at all as I don’t remember playing any of that, it was so unmemorable. I remember the wandering around in the desert bit and then some shooting in the desert which was all pointless. There were also some puzzles with shadow puppets that were almost good but so short and pointless, those two things sum up my feelings about the third game entirely.

What a way to start.

I’ve replayed the first and second games once each, so I’ve played those each twice thru and have decided that the first game is overlong and poorly paced, and the second game is the best and probably two-thirds good. Honestly, Elena should drop the Drakes in the ocean, run-off with Chloe and keep in touch with Sully because those are the only three characters with any depth and meaning. Let’s roll-back a bit.

I get that Nathan’s supposed to be a charming, happy-go-lucky character and for the most part, it works. Maybe I’m just getting too old for it or it’s wearing too thin. I really think the third game was completely unnecessary. When I review my notes on the fourth game, I think about the emotional quandary it attempts to set up i.e., ultimately that Nathan should be more honest with Elena - spoiler; he isn’t, but don’t worry it all works out *SPIT* - this was already a problem I was ready to face at the end of the second game. Given my feelings on the third game, I’d have much preferred a simple trilogy and conclusion that faced that emotional brunt to wrap things up. Naturally of-course, that’s not how money-spinners work.

If Uncharted 4 doesn’t spend time on Elena, who does it spend time on? Nathan has a brother! To be fair, I love Troy Baker as a voice actor and if there’s one thing that is consistent in Naughty Dog games, it’s excellent voice acting. I don’t know if I’m now biased after seeing so much of Nolan North and Troy Baker on YouTube outside of their VO talent work, but they’re wonderful people and their professional work is always great. The supporting cast is always great, too - so too the villains even if the narrative arcs are always completely absurd. I know these are always a bit of a lark, you can’t take them too seriously so I can’t hold Uncharted up to Kentucky Route Zero (got my mention in) and shake them comparatively, that’s not fair. It’s OK to have an excuse for a romp even if it does wear on a bit over time.

The problems I have with Uncharted 4 specifically are things like the level and environmental design. I’ve never gotten lost in this franchise up until now when it happened in almost every level... several times. I simply didn’t know where to go. There would be absolutely no clear indication of where to go and no assists, no subtle environmental guide and no camera nudges to help. There is a timer that eventually tells the player where to go and at times, this is tied to deaths so at one point I just threw Nathan off cliffs repeatedly to respawn until the hint appeared. This is unquestionably stupid design. I began to wonder if this was due to criticism that previous games had too much hand-holding, but when the UI assist was finally given and I made my way to the next check-point, I would *never* have found it under normal exploratory gameplay.

This remained true during several moments of scripted action sequences, some including during combat which brings up something else I now remember about the third game. I still couldn’t tell you when it was other than I didn’t know where to go and it was stupid, so there you have it. Maybe the third game was the real signal fire in my metaphor, who knows. In any case, constantly reverting to check-points and having to repeat, not understanding why you’re failing when the game isn’t telegraphing what you need for a success state in a scripted sequence is an exercise in frustration I’m not willing to ever repeat. While I’m not a souls-like player, I completely appreciate the admiration and respect for those games because they have rules that are clear to parse. Video games are *all about* providing feedback to the player. I’m not saying it’s easy, it is an incredibly difficult thing to achieve but it is literally the job you set out to do, it is the only vehicle you have to convey the lofty emotions you want to communicate to your audience.

And then there’s the driving. Naughty Dog. Do not put driving in your games. This is something you’re not able to do.

I don’t want to bash the driving so hard because at this point I feel like it may have been bolted on without time to make it stick correctly. This is the first game in the title where the hot-zones for interactions weren’t quite right. Where I bugged out of animations and had check-points or re-spawns instanced or loaded. Where I glitched out and fell off things, where I had to walk back and forth in-front of things to make buttons appear. The edges of that Naughty Dog polish were fraying. I’d attempt to do a thing and it just wouldn’t work, I’d fall to my death. I’d attempt to do the same thing the same way and it would work. Again this is dredging up more nondescript memories of the third game so I’m beginning to have my suspicions about the working environment there and when in the timeline things started getting bad - but cameras and jumping distances got really difficult to judge. One gap at one time would be fine to jump, then another would have you plunge to your death, and they’d be inconsistent to read or judge. These were not frequent, as with the third game, almost as if the artists and level designers were given time to adjust lighting and camera geometry tracking and control mapping as much as possible but just couldn’t get to them all. But throughout the games, it creeps in more and more.

I’d talk about combat - it’s functional, but it’s not interesting. These games don’t add anything interesting to the genre or video games in general. I play the games on easy because I don’t need to prolong the experience, I don’t actually have the physical time - if I could play the games without combat, I would. There are other games to play if I want dexterity challenges which I do engage in, Uncharted isn’t one of them. Even in 2016 I’m not entirely sure this would have turned heads. I realise I’m playing this a full four years later, but it’s hard to think of the sum-total of this game’s parts and see it as relevant...

But you know what? Uncharted 4 visually looks immaculate. Outside of the voice-acting and sound design, without question, the highest priority has been given to the visual fidelity of this game inclusive of the animations. So much has been invested in how the tech works, to the abandonment of everything else, I’d say the for example, the driving suffered the most, level design next, then interaction scripting. The attention to detail in the environments is stupendous...

...yet it’s all hollow. You know what? I don’t care about pirates and adventures anymore. Whatever. By the fourth game, I don’t care. I totally get that the game’s not for me but I played it and I’m writing how I feel about it. You’re telling me a story about a guy who met the person of his dreams and marries, then his brother turns up and he can’t be honest to his wife? Meow meow meow it’s all for the sake of drama so we skip over all the details but the contrivance is too much. You want me to accept these things on face value, then on face value, I say Nathan and his brother can go get fucked.

I took particular issue with the comically brief relationship discussion Elena and Nathan have after she saves him and they set off together in which she concludes she’s with him “for better or for worse”, which from memory the game chapter is titled after. Now either the character genuinely believes she owes him under the sanctity of nuptial obligation or she’s using it as a justification of such. This is a wholly unsatisfying discussion for me was when I finally checked out of this game - sure I should have done so hours before but this was the last straw and the indication that I am definitely too old for this shit - but this is a horrifying and stupid message to be spouting. Elena don’t owe anyone shit. Married or not, she’s free to save Nathan if she wants to, for any reason, but she’s certainly not obliged to. I despise this massive chunk of traditionalist patriarchy smashed into her character and the narrative, even if it is “well it’s just about her character” yea great, so that just re-enforces her as a loyal dog-trophy for the main character in the on-going male power-fantasy shenanigans shit-train. Nathan’s behaviour isn’t exactly selfish but it’s certainly not adult or considerate. He behaves like a child not taking on an appropriate level of responsibility. Others around him, being Elena and Sully, continuously bail him out - literally saving his life while endangering their own, and he continues to behave like a manchild that neither acknowledges their physical and emotional labour nor does he grow and evolve as an individual. What a fucker. Does he ever sort his shit out, ask Elena what she wants to do for a career and support whatever the fuck she wants to do with her life? Of-course the fuck he doesn’t. Know why? Because he’s a literal man-baby. And his brother is too. But that’s OK cos  he’s a fucken jock-hero and a funny guy so as long as we can all laugh about it and the narrative says-so and it all works out in the end and he gets the girl and she ends-up supporting his career anyway, it’s aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall fine.

Nathan should have died and Elena shouldn’t have given a fuck.

I know I know, it’s not that serious. Look I’ve been thru some shit, alright? I can see it both ways. Sometimes you don’t think about stupid shit that deep and sometimes you do. Most of the time, I do, and most of the time, I take it to the nth degree, so yea, shit like that gets to me. I call it bad writing, so no, I don’t like the story. At all. Nathan’s supposed to be flawed but nothing ever costs him. When people make mistakes in life, those mistakes cost. The unfortunately thing is the cost is most often paid by the others around them, and sometimes they themselves never realise it. I don’t like stories where there’s a fuckhead at the centre but everyone still stays happy. Nathan seems to have been given a lesson, but I don’t think he earned it. This is why y’all watch Game of Thrones and are surprised when characters die because you keep consuming narratives with no stakes, and GoT is *still* only middling stuff.

Anyway.

How could Elena’s character have been given more attention? Uncharted 4 isn’t all bad. The most valuable thing Naughty Dog achieved was the recreation of real domestic spaces; the Drake households. Twice, we’re given time and space and encouraged to explore them without being funnelled by level design, events, NPC shepherding or audio cues. Rooms and the objects that fill them are meticulously and beautifully created, and they're given life and purpose in a way that has meaning far beyond all the pirate nonsense that while almost as equally beautiful, is completely vacuous.

Putting on Elena’s vinyl record as her daughter Cassie was the only time I enjoyed the music in the game, and it was a great call-back to Nathan having done the same thing in their house much earlier. Sure, there’s the Drake theme that repeats ad nauseam throughout the series but otherwise the soundtrack is bland and unremarkable adventuring fare. It contributes more to the feeling of this game being out of touch, contrasted to something like Control which certainly has a completely different setting, sure - but that’s part of it, so that affords the creative team room for more modular synths and drones and to have a distinct sound.

Walking thru those houses, first as Nathan but really as the player repositioning themselves from adventurer to ordinary life-living person in a domestic setting, and then as Cassie - daughter of these two amazing characters in an equalling urbane setting yet filled with wonderful objects, made up the most fascinating and enjoyable moments of the game for me. The mess of each room gave the houses the perfect lived-in feel to a degree that most other games struggle to achieve, probably due to how much effort it takes to get that much geometry mapped in - Giant Sparrow’s What Became of Edith Finch is probably one of the few games that has come close. The difference between the tropical islands, decaying pirate mansions and the domestic Drake residences is that the houses felt like everything in there felt like it meant something and was in there for a reason, like it had been part of something. I don’t mean that just for the objects that were intrinsically tied to implicit narrative beats like collectables or even items from countries where Uncharted 4 or prior games are set, but also things like towels, washing baskets, plates and dishes, books and picture frames, shampoo bottles, food - the detail in the fridges! That you can feed Cassie’s dog, Vicky is the most meaningful interaction of the game - by the way, the second most meaningful set of interactions is buying an apple in the market in Madagascar then playing with lemur and letting it take the apple.

Back to the houses, I’m disappointed we never got to walk through one of them as Elena. Now that the core of the franchise is wrapped, I’m left with the impression that she’s the most important character in the series and she’s left woefully under-served. This is a very me thing, and unsurprising. I doubt anyone else cares enough about writing and character to have thoughts like this. They’re into Uncharted for the adventuring and the shooting, but as soon as you present me the opportunity for character drama and you want to have a red-hot go at it, I’m here to set aside the rest of that guff and go for it. The running and jumping and shooting never changes, and I’m here to say that the puzzling could have stepped up orders of magnitude that Naughty Dog never committed to - Crystal Dynamics did far better with Rise Of The Romb Raider, and while the puzzling was never really difficult, the way I described it to a friend was to liken the puzzles to desk toys; not intended to be too challenging, but more satisfying in their tactile nature. I feel Fireproof’s The Room series for iOS and Android are great examples of providing similar sensations.

I don’t mind a game mostly about shenanigans, I just don’t want it centred around a character that won’t learn, or who gets off cheaply. Elena is infinitely more interesting to me - her concerns, her desires - Chloe too, for that matter, and I absolutely am not above making the joke about shipping them as I’m sure thousands have before me (no I won’t write a fanfic about them, I’m sure there are plenty around).

I didn’t play the first The Last of Us. There was a horrifically jarring moment when the game felt it was over-playing its sense of cinema to me, then had a sudden camera zoom transition onto I think the first combat gameplay and I checked out. The tone of that game is trying to telegraph TAKE ME SERIOUSLY and I feel all I’m going to do is read tonally similar things to what I have here but far worse. Also post-apocalypse is easy pickings for bad writing, especially by video games narrative writers, I just don’t have the patience. I’m pleased that there’s lesbian representation in the second game but I’m not sure it’ll be handled with sensitivity. While I’m in no way invested in the game as a product, I continue to be concerned for the welfare of the employees at Naughty Dog, and all game developers everywhere, as always. It is a hugely unregulated industry that is in the process of slow collapse, and now more than ever do we need reform and cultural change.

And in the midst of that, one day we’ll get a decent game that’s about domestic partnerships and wonderful emotional relationships with stunning visual fidelity; maybe it’ll have running and jumping and shooting and maybe it won’t. Maybe it’ll end sadly and maybe it’ll end happily but hopefully it’ll be well-written. 

Here’s to Elena.

[comicteaparty]

April 6th-April 12th, 2020 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from April 6th, 2020 to April 12th, 2020.  The chat focused on  Adventurers’ Guild by Phillip MacArthur.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Adventurers’ Guild by Phillip MacArthur~! (https://adventurersguildcomic.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace until April 12th, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Discussions are freeform, but we do offer discussion prompts in the pins for those who’d like to have them. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic! Whether you finish the comic or can only read a few pages, everyone is welcome to join and chat with us!

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 1

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic?

2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)?

3. Who is your favorite character?

4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most?

5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it!

6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores?

7. What do you like about the comic’s story or overall related content?

8. Overall, what do you think the comic’s strengths are?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

RebelVampire

What I liked about the beginning of the comic was just the overall pacing. The comic really takes it's time to introduce the world to you and the first set of characters, and it kind of hits that right beat for me where there's a lot of information where I don't feel overwhelmed since the pacing slows to the right tempo to make it work. My favorite moment in the comic so far is probably the battle against Razoku. Without getting too specific, I love just how epic that fight was in general, and also that a character I didn't expect was down for the count for that fight, leaving everyone else to compensate. That is not something you see in stories everyday, plus I liked getting to see Jack do some work since Jack tagged along for the quest. My favorite character at the moment is probably Li, because I have a thing for enigmatic mysterious dudes who I know so little about. Plus, he's a sorceror and I always 1000% support magic classes. As for characters interacting, probably Klaus and Li. I love the hints that they really have some history here, and I like just kind of how they balance each other out. Like sometimes Li is dumb and Klaus is the smart one and then sometimes Klaus is dumb and Li is smart. And it goes on like this for a bunch of different traits, so I like that theyre both kind of on an even footing and that they have this bond and understanding the other characters don't have with them yet. So it's like this warm thing of comfort.

RebelVampire

What I like about the art is just kind of how well it emulates RPG pixel games. Especially how dialogue and other elements are handled to replicate the UI. It's a nice touch that really just kind of sells that whole game feel aesthetic. I liked that the comic explored the moral choice between helping someone vs. fulfilling your obligation. And the tangentially related "Is it okay to lie if it's a stupid noble who wants a thing for aesthetics and frivolous reasons?" Some pretty common themes, yet still important themes always worthy of discussion. I also liked how the noble knew the lie and still just accepted it anyway, since that was 100% now the outcome I was expecting. So it really takes the exploration of that theme a bit differently. What I like about the story is the same thing I like about the art: it really nails the game feel. Like I really do feel I've been watching just an epically long cutscene to some game, but as someone who does like games and RPGs, that really appeals to me. Honestly, I'd be excited to play this as an actual game so I could use Li and cast all the magic. As for the comic's strengths, game feel which I've already discussed. But in general, like the beginning, pacing. I've seen a few comics like this one, but for most the pacing usually isn't that great since pixel art really only allows for so much action to be depicted. So pacing for these things needs to be epically different than it does for most comics. I think this one really nails it, especially with combat. The comic really shows how the combat will be epic, but it doesn't try to pad it out either and just kind of embraces the limitations that come with this specific style.

warriorneedsfood

I am having a hard time engaging in the comic. The layout wasn’t very intuitive for me and it’s very small on my tablet. When I play old school rpgs I look past the interface to get to the story, but this comic embraces the format. It makes me wish the author made a game instead of the comic. However, I didn’t get very far on the first pass. I will be hunkering down with the comic later on this week to read it to get the whole impression of the story.

RebelVampire

Once I adjusted to the layout, I actually found it way easier for mobile personally.

Since I didn't really have to zoom or squint, and the panels were very responsive to touch controls

But it is definitely far from the standard so I can see it as a point of alienation

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Gotta say, never played this kind of game so this comic isn't really for me, but I did think the format was really unique and cool

I don't have any problems reading it on my phone

Feather J. Fern

I think this premise for the layout is really interesting. I actually think it would have done really well as actually an Instagram comic due to it's scroll, square shape.

I do also have to agree if this was an actual game done on RPG Maker or something, it would fit it a lot more. But I do love the feel it is giving me.

I do have to note that the font is making it hard for me to read, since that font isn't really good for me. My own personal problem though.

I can see why they went with that choice for the old RPG feeling

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 2

9. Why do you think Myra came to Knolton, and why is she hesitant to talk to even fellow Nemians about her backstory? Additionally, why is Jack equally mysterious about his origins? How do you think the truth will change the characters’ relationships with each other?

10. Do you think Klaus will allow Kidd to join the party? If so, how will that change the current group dynamic? Additionally, how will Cedric’s secrecy effect how much trust the other’s put in him?

11. How do you think Klaus and Li met, and for what reason do you think Li joined Klaus’ clan? Additionally, what do you think Li’s backstory might be in general? Do you believe there are secrets that might change how the group sees him, or is it something more mundane?

12. Do you think the group will see Edmund or anyone else they’ve faced against again? If so, what do you think will happen? In general, how will the group’s growing fame affect them and the quests they take on?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

RebelVampire

I feel like Myra probably got exiled or something. If only cause Myra does not seem like she'd have come to Knolton by choice, and you don't conceal your backstory unless you've got embarrassing shit to hide. I assume Jack might be in the same sort of situation. I actually think if Myra and Jack talked about it, though, it'd bring them closer together, as well as the whole group. The truth sets you free and all that. As for Kidd, yes, I think Klaus will let Kidd join. Klaus seems nice like that. As for group dynamic, I think it will simultaneously make Cedric a better and worse member of the group. I kind of feel if push came to shove, Cedric would ditch the others to save Kidd, making him unreliable. But at the same time, if Kidd goes with, Cedric would probably have increased loyalty. As for Cedric's secrecy, I think it'll be a long time before anyone fully trusts him again. I get the impression that Klaus must of met Li when Li was down on his luck, and since Klaus was such a bro and a friend, of course he joined. As for Li's backstory, I actually don't have any theories, although I kind of feel Li is less secret cause of something to hide but more maybe no one asks. Though I'm sure there is at least one secret in there that will make the audience gasp. I do think the group will at least see Edmund again because Edmund seemed an important and noteworthy character who'd come back. I could also see silver lotus noble coming back for silver lotus part 2 only now its a gold lotus. Either way, in regards to Edmund, of course theyre going to fight, though I feel like someone will try to convince Edmund to join their part instead, which Edmund might be convinced somehow. In general, though, their group is definitely gonna attract big baddies and great evil, cause fame comes at a cost.

GuildmasterPhill

Hello, author of Adventurers' Guild here! Just want to chime in and say it's been a real pleasure to read all the analysis of my comic here. It's good to see some of you really getting into it, and I think this whole tea party thing is a wonderful idea. Adventurers' Guild's week is almost up, as I understand it, but I'll be around here for the last bit of it if anyone has any questions for me! (I'm REALLY cagey about storyline spoilers, though, so don't expect any of those!) Thanks again!

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 3

13. What are you most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic?

14. Any final words of encouragement for the comic?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

mathtans

Hi! Our modem died, so my internet capabilities are real limited at the moment. But I had a quick look at the start of the week and just wanted to say I think the format is really neat, since I see some back and forth debate about it. All the best with the comic!

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

Jumping in late -- the tip about mobile reading helped, it also works on desktop if you put it in a narrow-enough window!

I like the intro, the comedy of "we've only stopped one thief, and technically the quest says it's plural", the awkwardness of Klaus trying to say "I have pointy ears, so that gives me some insight into the discrimination you face as a full-on catgirl" and Myra not having it. Reminds me of the tension in X-Men between the "normal-looking" mutants vs. the ones who are, say, blue and scaly.

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

Just got to the bit with the cat brothers, and Klaus's reaction is...puzzling. He did all that outreach and effort getting Myra and Cedric to join the party, even getting rejected by Cedric and then following him around until he was talked into joining...but now there's two people enthusiastically volunteering to join, and Klaus is shooting them down?

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

I mean, they were obviously shady, but it's not clear why he was so convinced the others weren't. Maybe he just has Hero Plot Senses.

Seconding that I like the outcome of that arc, though! You think the party's just coming up with excuses for why they can slack off and do a second-rate job and not feel bad when they get away with it...and then, surprise, they don't get away with it, but it turns out their excuses were right and they don't have to feel bad about it.

Won't be surprised if it comes back to bite them down the line, though. Say, that noble uses it to make a fake healing potion, then lets a rival die while appearing to make all efforts to treat them.

And on to the next traveling montage! I like the lighting/colors in the campfire effect, but I feel like it should be built with squares and triangles rather than being a perfect ellipse, so it fits with the rest of the tile-based scenery. (Which is very cool and well-done in general.)

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

Unrelated to anything, I do love when Myra's sprite does cat-poses.

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

All caught up (full disclosure, I skimmed through some of the long battle sequences). One burning question...is there ever going to be more than one female character in this world? Myra isn't just the only woman in the party -- all their other allies are guys, all the enemies are dudes, everyone who hires them for a quest is a man, every random encounter on the street is a bro, every NPC with a speaking line is a fella...

Two of the guys so far have talked about their mothers, but one mom was sick/asleep for her entire on-screen appearance, and the other hasn't been seen at all. (And she was presumed killed...is there some big underground conspiracy to poison and/or murder all the women in this world? That would also be a reasonable Backstory Thing for Myra to run away from...)

RebelVampire

I am most looking forward to learning more about Li's backstory here and seeing all of the components that make Li awesome. My final words are is that I really love how unique this comic is with its presentation. It really stands out against contemporary styles and just overall, was an entertaining read. The comic feels like a true passion project and that really shines through, and while it may not be everyone's cup of tea, it didn't have any of the problems I usually find in most modern comics. So I was glad for that

GuildmasterPhill

To answer your question, @Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn) , yes there will be more woman characters--do not worry. ^^

@RebelVampire Thank you so much for all the comments, you seem very insightful! I certainly hope you will continued reading as I go onward.

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Adventurers’ Guild this week! Please also give a special thank you to Phillip MacArthur for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Adventurers’ Guild, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://adventurersguildcomic.com/

Phillip’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/GuildmasterPhill

Phillip’s Store: https://shop.spreadshirt.com/adventurersguild/

Phillip’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/GuildmasterPhil

[kcwcommentary]

VLD7x09 – “Know Your Enemy”

7x09 – “Know Your Enemy”

I’m just going to get right to it.

The episode starts with a shot of Neptune. With all the not-a-planet planets this show’s animation has produced, it’s really cool to see not just a planet-looking planet, but an actual existing planet. Voltron, with its kind of comically large wings are blasting toward Earth, and Pidge is trying to get in contact with her father. Given that we’ve been shown Keith able to image a Galra ship on the surface of Earth from millions of light-years outside the Milky Way, Voltron could be gathering a lot of information about the current status of Earth with visual scans. None are shown being made. Instead, Hunk wonders if they’re too late.

Sam replies to Pidge and tells them to stop coming to Earth. This is totally contradictory to the previous episodes. I’m actually laughing right now. At the beginning of 7x07 “The Last Stand Part 1,” Voltron received Sam’s recorded message: “To any beings who receive this message, Planet Earth has been overrun by the Galra. Most of the citizens have been captured. Those of us remaining are making our last stand. If you get this message, please get word to Voltron. We need help.” Then at the end of 7x08 “The Last Stand Part 2,” we see how that message was sent, with “micro transmitters, millions of them” and Sam’s message from the beginning of Part 1 is repeated at the end of Part 2. This show is giving me narrative whiplash. This message of request for help from Voltron has been included in the past episodes repeatedly, getting the message transmitted at the end of last episode was a big plot development, and now that the message from Sam asking Voltron to come help has been received by Voltron, he’s now telling Voltron to not come. This is the kind of writing inconsistencies that happen when a writing team is not working well together.

Also, Sam’s big speech at the end of the last episode, part of the message quoted above, and both previous episodes’ titles, were about a “last stand.” Sam’s big speech at the end of last episode was about boosting morale heading into a titular “last stand” battle. But as we see in this episode, Sam and those he gave that speech to have not fought some “last stand” battle. They’ve just been holding on, hoping something will change, hoping maybe Voltron would come. It makes Sam’s episode-ending speech last episode meaningless. That speech is out of place and unresolved. It’s like the writers wanted a big rallying speech scene, but wrote the scene totally separate from any of the plot of these episodes.

Sam now says that Sendak has taken over the planet (aside from it being specifically Sendak, Team Voltron already know that the Galra have “overrun” Earth). Prior to this episode, the Galra on Earth was why Earth needed Voltron, yet now with this episode the Galra being on Earth is why Voltron shouldn’t come to Earth? I’ve only just started this episode, and I already feel exhausted by it. Sam says that Sendak “will threaten the people of Earth in exchange for the Lions.” Did Sam not think of this when he sent his message asking Voltron for help?

Voltron slows down only to nearly run into several Galra ships. Sam commands Curtis to “pick up those Galra ships’ locations.” If the Garrison on Earth doesn’t already know the location of these specific Galra ships, then how can they know they need to scan for them? There’s definitely something missing in the writing. Sam has Curtis do something that causes interference so that the Galra ships where Voltron is cannot get a signal through to the Galra at Earth. Sam reports the successful communication blockage to Voltron, who only then start attacking the sentry-piloted Galra fighters. Why was Voltron waiting to attack? It’s just three small fighters. Voltron has taken out more Galra ships with one attack than this before.

Voltron’s attack is new. Normally, Voltron’s blasters are beam weapons, but now out of nowhere Voltron is using some kind of tumbling clumps of energy. I don’t understand the design decision making for this show that thinks it’s okay to have something like this that’s never been depicted before and here comes out of nowhere. Two of three Galra fighters are destroyed, and Pidge says to not destroy the third because she’s “got an idea.” Pidge has Team Voltron land the Lions on a Saturnian moon. Only then do we find out that one of the Lions caught the third Galra fighter like a dog catching a ball. All of Team Voltron loads up in the fighter, piloted by Keith. There is a weird inclusion of a shot of the mice and Kaltenecker with an Allura voiceover about hoping they’ll be okay left behind on the Lions. Was anyone in the audience watching this show worried about the mice and Kaltenecker not being in the Galra fighter with everyone else? It’s such a weird inclusion.

Team Voltron makes their way to Earth and flies right through a fleet of Galra cruisers, never being hailed by any of the Galra. Even with if the Galra think that this is just a Galra fighter, it’s not flying where it’s supposed to, so why wouldn’t anyone in the Galra fleet contact them to ask them where they’re headed?

Also, I guess the show forgot that the Green Lion can turn invisible. It’s like the show is preacting on situations that haven’t happened yet. The writer knows that the episode is going to move toward a conflict over Sendak wanting the Lions versus threatening Earth to get them. It feels forced that Voltron would leave all of the Lions at Saturn rather than come in with a cloaked Green Lion. The Paladins have successfully infiltrated Galra-controlled locations before using the Green Lion.

This episode so far has not given me any understanding of these characters’ thought process. What are they going to Earth for? What are they going to do there without the Lions? What is their plan? I don’t think they have one, they just want to get to Earth. This is just more of writing characters on this show to not behave realistically.

The Galra fighter is literally descending through Earth’s atmosphere because they’re trying to make it to make it to the surface, Keith even announces that they’re doing so, and then he says, “I’m losing altitude” like it’s a surprise. Yes, one would lose altitude when one enters a planet’s atmosphere with the intention of landing. Keith says, “Brace for impact.” It’s such fake drama. Apparently, they all collectively weighed too much for the fighter to be able to stay in flight, and Keith crashed. Honestly, their collective body weight is not that much. If an elevator can handle their weight, an advanced fighter craft should be able to too. Team Voltron walks up the hill from where they crashed, and in cresting the top of the hill, see the destruction of a city. Hunk recognizes this city, which he says is a half-hour from the Garrison.

As Team Voltron makes their way through the destroyed city, they come under attack by floating Galra balls. I guess these are supposed to be updated versions of the pyramid shaped drones the Galra had earlier in the show? Keith tells Lance he’s going to distract the drones so Lance can shoot them. Keith says, “Don’t miss.” I guess this is supposed to be playful banter? Lance takes out the drones, but then the team comes under fire from rifle-wielding sentries. The MFA pilots – because the Garrison apparently has no ground troops and has to use elite fighter pilots instead – drive in and start taking out the sentries. Rizavi and James are obnoxious to the Paladins. Given how this show’s production seemed to switch to liking their new characters more than the show’s main characters, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that the MFE pilots would be written to be condescending to the main characters. James says that their weapons “neutralize [drones’] signals. It’s almost as if Team Voltron should have tried to get some information before they came to Earth, that they should have communicated with Sam and formed a plan. It’s in-story unrealistic, but this moment fits the meta-drama of the show’s poorly thought out production.

They ride to the Garrison, still behind its dome forcefield. The Pidge family reunion should feel emotional, but because of how obnoxiously this show has written Pidge, Sam, and Colleen, I really don’t care. Lance sees his family, and they all hug. Hunk watches Lance wistfully and thinks about when he left his family to study at the Garrison, though he looks older in this flashback than he did in the flashback in 7x01 “A Little Adventure.” Iverson says he’s glad to see Shiro again and apologizes for his having restrained him in 1x01 “The New Alliance.” I kind of love that Coran seems defensive of Shiro, saying, “Ah, so you’re the one who strapped Shiro to a table. I heard about that.”

Shiro responds, “You were just following orders, as any good soldier would.” Oh, the unintended irony of Shiro saying this while Sam and Iverson last episode repetitiously engaged in insubordination. Guess that makes Sam and Iverson not good soldiers then.

Shiro introduces Allura, Romelle, and Coran to Iverson. Iverson fakes being obnoxiously angry at Keith, and Keith actually demonstrates a lot of respect and salutes Iverson, only for Iverson to apologize to Keith. This moment is more tonal whiplash. Why did this show think writing fakeout tonality like this was a good thing? Keith apologizes to Iverson. Honestly, this show hasn’t shown anything about Keith back then that I think Keith needs to apologize for really. But whatever. Cosmo likes Iverson.

Keith sees James, James glares at him and walks away.

Then we get the short little few seconds the show has Shiro mourn Adam, seeing his name and picture on the memorial. The show can give the MFE pilots all last names but couldn’t give Adam one. His listing on the memorial only has his last initial, W. That’s really not how war memorials that list the names of the dead do it, they include last names. Was it really so hard for the people making this show to give characters last names?

Shiro says, “Adam, I’m sorry.” 16 seconds. That’s all the time this show gives for Shiro to mourn, for the resolution of Shiro’s and Adam’s relationship.

On to a staff meeting. Veronica reports that the Galra have been able to wipe out the resistance movement, which is interesting that it’s so quickly thrown away with a short line of dialog here since last episode ended with Veronica returning while proclaiming the excellence of the resistance. This is more narrative whiplash.

Hunk wants to know why this Garrison base isn’t bringing in more people to protect. Sam says it’s too risky. Hunk gets upset.

And then the show writes James to return to being an absolute terrible person. He yells at Hunk, “Do Paladins not understand the chain of command?” This is the ass that just last episode told Veronica that he didn’t need a “handler.” I am so sick of this show’s inconsistent writing. James yells, “Your CO said it’s too dangerous!” That CO has proven he doesn’t care about the chain of command since he and Iverson last episode repeatedly violated the chain of command. I really hate James.

Sam calls James down. Sam then says, “Believe me, I understand what you’re going through Hunk. We all have family out there.” Well, aside from Matt elsewhere in the universe, all of Sam’s family is right here safe. His saying this sounds thoroughly condescending. “We can’t lose ten people to save twelve.” Why is Sam now so cautious when he spent the last two episodes clashing with Sanda because she wanted to be cautious and Sam didn’t? More inconsistent writing.

Allura tries to be diplomatic and move the meeting along. Sam takes them to the hangar to show them the four second-generation MFE ships. Sanda just stands silently behind everyone in the elevator. I was thinking maybe Sanda was elsewhere and that’s why she hadn’t yet shown up in this episode. Coran says he might be able to help with the issues the Garrison has had in keeping the fighters powered.

And then we’re shown the Atlas for the first time, and the tone of its reveal is nothing compared to what I would expect given how much the previous two episodes kept setting it up. The reveal just sort of happens. Sam says it can house the Lions and “an entire command unit.” I actually really like the design of the Atlas as a ship (less so as a mecha).

Sanda finally speaks, “It’s built but it can’t fly.” She then says, “Everyone, there’s a subject we can’t avoid any longer. Sendak attacked Earth because he wanted the Lions, and now they’re here. It seems that we need to at least discuss our options.” Why did the episode’s writer think that this transition from here’s-the-Atlas to suddenly we-should-consider-giving-Sendak-the-Lions actually worked? The transition doesn’t work at all. It’s jarring. Why would Sanda pick right now to bring this up? I can kind of understand why Sanda would think giving Sendak what he wants should be considered, but having her be like this just feels forced. The writing just does not feel realistic to have her think that the Galra would just go away if given the Lions.

Sam yells, “The universe needs the Lions.” Except for of course right now since they were left at Saturn and the Paladins don’t have any means to get back to them. Again, what was the plan? Why in the world would the Paladins leave the Lions behind without a means to get back to them? Some miscellaneous guy speaks, agreeing with Sanda.

I do like that Allura speaks up and says, “I’ll settle this right now, we’re not giving up the Lions under any circumstances.” They do kind of belong to her, after all. Sanda yells back, “Maybe you should leave the matters of Earth to the people who live here.” Allura totally could have countered with something like, okay, fine, I won’t use my warships to help you. Shiro tries to explain how they have enough experience fighting the Galra to know that offering Sendak what he demands won’t work. Sanda says, “We barely know what we’re up against. We need intelligence.” So, did the files Sam brought with him not include information about the Galra? The Garrison can pinpoint three fighters millions of miles from Earth to be able to block their communication, but they have no means to gain intelligence of what’s going on on Earth? Instead of having the Paladins come to Earth and leave the Lions behind, they could have had at least the Green Lion use its cloak to scan around Earth and get intelligence. If Voltron could image a Galra ship on Earth from billions of light-years away, then it could totally be used for intelligence gathering. But the show wrote the Paladins to leave the Lions behind and travel to Earth without any plan whatsoever. I don’t know why I keep expecting this show to have characters behave realistically.

Turns out, Sam’s files from the Castle of Lions does have information, the Garrison apparently just hasn’t bothered to go through it. Allura points out that those files would still have Sendak’s memories taken from him way back in 1x11 “Crystal Venom.” (I miss the show being as well written as it was back during “Crystal Venom.”) Pidge agrees with Allura that the memories could “give us some insight into Sendak’s plan.” I mean, those memories wouldn’t contain anything that has happened to Sendak since the first season of the show, but okay, sure.

Miscellaneous Garrison guy takes Allura, Pidge, and Colleen to the room-filled computer network that they’ve had to use to process the Altean data files. Why is Colleen with them? “Sifting through that much information is like trying to find a needle in a haystack,” the guy says. Tangent: I’m not a fan of that idiom – like trying to find a needle in a haystack – because it implies something that is near impossible to do. The thing is, finding a needle in a bunch of hay wouldn’t be all that difficult, just use a good, strong magnet.

Sam shows Shiro and Coran the inside of the Atlas. Coran says that a ship like the Atlas might need “two or three battleship-class Balmeran crystals” to be able to be properly powered. Shiro kind of jokes, “I don’t suppose there are any Balmera nearby.” Coran then laughs rejectingly, “In this young galaxy?” This is more of this show not doing any research. The estimated age of the Milky Way is over 13-billion years old. There was a study released in 2018 of a star in the Milky Way that’s not quite 2000 light-years from Earth; that star is approximate 13.5-billion years old. Even without the increased precision of determining this star’s age, age estimates for some globular clusters in the Milky Way have been dated to over 12-billion years old, and those globular cluster studies were published in like 2003. Current best estimates for the age of the universe is 13.8-billion years old. The Milky Way, despite how Coran was written to act here, is not young.

Allura comes across some prosthetic arms and legs hanging on a wall. The miscellaneous Garrison guy says that they’re designs Sam has made for injured soldiers. “Like everything else, we don’t have an adequate power source to make them viable,” he says. Of course, this is foreshadowing Shiro’s upcoming new arm. I’ll tell you right now, I don’t like his new arm, and I’ll have a lot to say about it soon. Pidge has found Sendak’s memories.

There’s a sudden, jarring transition to a flashback of Hunk working on a car’s motor with his father. And as sudden as we transitioned into the flashback, we transition out of it to Hunk in the Garrison. Keith stops to talk to Hunk, “I’m not really good at talking with people. I don’t expect you to open up to me, but if there’s ever anything on your mind—” I can’t really say that I’ve liked much in this episode, but I really like Keith in this moment. This is the kind of reflection and building of relationships that the show desperately needed more of. Hunk doesn’t wait for Keith to finish before launching into an understandable rant about Earth being occupied by Galra. Hunk says, “I know it’s stupid, but I used to daydream about coming home to a peaceful Earth.” This continues to be a really good character moment, the kind that this series has seemed to have actively avoided having for a long time. Hunk feels bad that he doesn’t know if his family is okay, he feels a bit envious that Pidge and Lance have theirs right now and he doesn’t.

Then Keith says, “Look, Hunk, I never told you this, but of all the Paladins you’re the one I’m most impressed by.” It does feel really weird that Keith says this about Hunk and not about Shiro. But then, I guess if the show has Keith referencing “of all the Paladins” and Keith isn’t thinking of Shiro as a Paladin, then it’s technically not Keith ignoring how important Shiro has been to him in the past, I guess. Keith continues on to support Hunk emotionally, and Hunk then grabs Keith and hugs him. The emotion of the scene is really nice, even if it feels slightly off re: Keith’s relationship with Shiro being ignored. Hunk then says he’s going to get his family and Keith says he’s going with him.

They sneak to get one of the Garrison’s vehicles. Absolutely unrealistically, James and Veronica have been standing in the dark by one of the vehicles, like they were waiting to catch Keith and Hunk. James says, “My problem is that I don’t want to see our only hope for saving Earth get hurt.” The writing then does yet another switch-flip in the tonality of character behavior. Now, suddenly, James is all helpful and says he and Veronica are coming with Hunk and Keith. I am tired of this show’s whiplash. I can tell that the writers throughout this series think these whiplash moments are good writing, but they’re just not.

Sam joins Pidge, Allura, and Colleen. I still don’t understand what Colleen is doing here. If the show had established her to be skilled with computers or something, I’d get it. If they had her say something about just wanting to be around Pidge, I’d get it. They get the memory files working by creating a system similar to how the Castle worked with Alfor’s memories. Pidge has Sam test it by asking the memories questions, the hologram of Sendak answers. Sam asks the hologram to “explain to me your methods for conquering planets.” The hologram says there are many ways to do it, conquering primitive people is easiest. Allura asks about more advanced civilizations, and the hologram says, “There are always those willing to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. That’s why it is best to find something they value more than themselves and make that the target.” This is nicely consistent with how Sendak thought back in 1x05 “Return of the Gladiator” when he decided to attack the Paladins through attacking the Arusians. Pidge and Sam ask a few more questions, and then Allura asks, “What if a planet refuses to give up, no matter the cost?” and the hologram answers, “If a planet refuses to give up, then we annihilate it, but only one planet has ever refused: Altea.” Allura cuts the hologram off. She’s clearly emotionally bothered by it.

In some ruined city, Hunk, Keith, James, and Veronica are doing something unexplained in the standard way the writers think having characters do miscellaneous stuff without explanation is interesting. Veronica, apart from the rest of the group, attaches a triangle to a doorway, and James says she’s successfully sent a signal and now they just have to wait. Hunk has another really short flashback of cooking with his mother.

Hunk, Keith, James, and Veronica are waiting in a sewer until some old dude shows up and tells them to come with him. They go to some location where there are a few maps and stuff on tables and walls. He says, “Amazing, the rumors are true! Word of the Paladins’ return has inspired the resistance.” This completely contradicts what Veronica said at the beginning of this episode that the resistance had been wiped out. And since she was the one who contacted this guy in this scene, it would seem she knew the resistance wasn’t wiped out, so why did she earlier say it was?

They look out of a window down to some Galra facility. Veronica says, “Is this where they’ve taken all the prisoners?” Considering the size of the population of Earth, it would be impossible for “all the prisoners” to be in any one location. The resistance guy says that it’s a workcamp Sendak is using to mine for materials he’s using to build something. Veronica says that if the labor-force has been moved inside the Galra camp, then they can’t get to Hunk’s parents. So, is this supposed to be the city near the Garrison base, or is it a different city? Is Hunk originally from super close to this main Garrison base? How else would they assume that Hunk’s parents are here instead of elsewhere? This story does not feel like it has the actual planetary scope that it should have.

Shiro goes to talk to Allura. She says, “Sendak’s memories were hard to hear, but it did remind me of something my father once said. He told me that there were those with the power to destroy and those with the power to create.” She reveals Shiro’s new arm to him. She must be really good at manufacturing to have built this in such little time.

Hunk is looking through some binoculars down at the Galra camp. He sees his parents and vows to get them out.

This episode has a couple of truly nice moments, but a lot of it still bothers me. I don’t like all the tonal whiplash. I don’t like that the Paladins came to Earth with absolutely no plan whatsoever. I don’t like the way this show continues to write Sanda. I hate James. And I hate that the 16 seconds in this episode is all we get of the resolution of Adam for Shiro.

[nicolemagolan]

Books I Read In March 2019

This was a month of 3 stars reads. A range of ‘eh pretty good’ to ‘meh pretty okay’...3 star reads are always weird to review, because I have no passionate argument to why you should/shouldn’t read it. It was okay. It was entertaining. But I’ve probably forgotten most of it already.

I dived into a few different genres; horror, fantasy, science fiction, and dystopian. And of course, I had to spend some time in the Star Wars galaxy. If you’re interested in my in-depth thoughts, keep reading!

Dracula by Bram Stoker

3/5 stars

I wasn't sure how I would feel about Dracula, as I went in with a particular set of expectations due to the story’s popularity -- and I honestly didn’t think I would enjoy it. But it turned out to be a highly entertaining and engaging story. It has a gothic and spooky atmosphere which it is of course famous for, but it wasn’t as focused on the horror as I feared. I was surprised and intrigued to find that Dracula himself is not the main character. He is a figure shrouded in mystery that brings together the various cast of characters. The story is told through journal entries and letters, and the format is well-utilized. Sometimes this kind of thing can slow the pacing or drag on, but here it works well, slipping smoothly from character to character. I loved the first half of the book; the build up of the mystery surrounding Dracula was excellent. Unfortunately, once the main conflict was resolved, the book continued by rehashing the same plot line. That crisis is over? Well then lets have another one that is exactly the same and no longer has tension. Great! This time it was boring and frustrating. The damsel in distress trope was used to an unbearable extent. The long-awaited climax of the novel was over in approximately half a paragraph. I had to read it three times to be sure I hadn't missed something; I was so confused that it had ended just like that. Very disappointing. The chapters leading up to the big final confrontation felt like filler in comparison. This did not, however, lessen my enjoyment of the first half and particularly the first 50 pages of Dracula. I'm glad I read it. If it intrigues you, the go right ahead! 

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik

3/5 stars

With well woven narratives and atmospheric settings, Spinning Silver is an enchanting loose retelling of Rumpelstiltskin -- one of my favourite fairy tales. The way the elements of the original story were incorporated was quite clever and unexpected.

But here’s the thing about Rumpelstiltskin: it’s real short. And this novel is hefty. The story here is spread thin. While I enjoyed the first half of the book, at the half way point the story began to drag, and because I hadn’t been able to connect to the characters, soon I lost interest entirely. 

Neverworld Wake by Marisha Pessl

3/5 stars

Neverworld Wake is a fast paced, emotional ride. We follow a group of teens who used to be close friends but parted ways after one of them died in mysterious circumstances. They get stuck in a time loop, and their only way out is to uncover the truth of what happened the night their friend died. In typical small-town murder fashion, each character is hidjing secrets and ulterior motives. I loved the way it unravelled; it constantly kept me guessing. The science fiction aspect was not sidelined, nor did it take over the story, and I found that it was balanced very well with the drama. The plot is driven by the main character, her choices, her discoveries, her emotions. She was well-realised and I enjoyed reading through her voice. The other characters, however, came off a little flat. There wasn't a whole lot of description in this book, which made the plot move very quickly, but I had no idea what anyone looked like or how they functioned. The main character's relationship with each of them was distant, which added to the detachment I felt. The ending was handled well in terms of pacing and dramatic effect...but it was pretty predictable. Left me like, yup okay. It didn't have that emotional punch I was waiting for. A shame, but overall this was a great read. Definitely recommend if you want a quick and fun read!

The Invisible Library by Genevieve Cogman

DNF (Did Not Finish)

The concept of The Invisible Library is absolutely brilliant. Time travelling, dimension hopping librarians collecting rare manuscript from all over the universe. 

This literally sounds like the nerdy book of my dreams.

But unfortunately, I only made it 150 pages in before I had to put it down. I just wasn’t enjoying it at all, and reading it quickly became a chore. The writing style was info-dumpy and extra-wordy, making it hard to get a grasp on the setting. The characters failed to capture me, and the story was meandering. I found no reason to continue.

Perhaps this book had a great ending. Alas, I will never know.

Star Wars: Rebel Rising by Beth Revis

3/5 stars

Star Wars audiobooks are always a treat. The production quality is top notch, and Rebel Rising is no exception; great music, narration, and sound effects.

The story was one I didn’t know I wanted: a prequel’s prequel, this follows a young Jyn Erso, the lead character of the film Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. I’m not the biggest fan of RO, namely because the characters are flat and boring. I don’t really want to have required reading before seeing a film; both should stand on their own (a problem I’ve had with many of the Star Wars novels). Remarkably, in this case they do.

Jyn is a wonderfully realised character and her arc does not pull punches. She really goes through a lot. It’s pretty brutal. Her view of the world evolves with the story, leading her to the point where she is in RO. It was a fascinating journey.

Still, I can’t give this book more then a solid 3 stars because the romance, and original side characters all got on my nerves. They were not engaging, and pulled me right out of the story. 

But on the plus side, I think this book does add depth to the film while managing to stand entirely on its own. 

The Walking Dead, Issue #189: Lines Are Drawn by Robert Kirkman, Cliff Rathburn (Illustrator), Stefano Gaudiano (Illustrator), Charlie Adlard (Illustrator), and Dave Stewart (Illustrator)

3/5 stars

The Walking Dead comics keep trucking along. This was a better issue than the last, with the current ‘commenwealth’ story line finally feeling like it might go somewhere.

Honestly, I don’t know why I’m still bothering to read this series. I’m no longer invested in the world or the characters. I guess out of obligation -- it’s been a part of my life for so very long. Though, I’ll give this issue props for including a touching moment between Rick and Carl. Those sorts of moments are what built my love for this series, and it’s good to know they’re still tucked in there.

I have a few other books I’ve already started, and so far so good. I decided to reread an old favourite and let me tell you, it was a great idea. Come back in a months time to hear about it! Here’s hoping next month will have a few higher rated reads!

[the-far-bright-center]

Update :)

Hey everyone, it’s been a while. You may have noticed that lately there’s been a bit of a decrease in daily posts here, and that I haven’t been as consistent with tagging, etc. For the past three months, I’ve been in the middle of an unexpected and extremely stressful house move. During this time, I’ve had very unreliable and inconsistent internet access, so I decided to run this blog on a queue, and add to it with intermittent reblogs whenever I could get the chance. To say it’s been frustrating is an understatement, and I sincerely apologize to those of you who have messaged me or sent me asks during this time – I’ve been so exhausted, it’s been impossible to keep up with everything.

Thankfully, the house move is now winding down (we’re now finally in the new house, but still unpacking, settling in, etc.), so I should at least be able to resume curating this blog with more of my usual attentiveness. I’d like to say that everything will now go back to normal, but….I’m honestly not quite sure what ‘normal’ is anymore. Over the last few months, I have been thinking long and hard about my continued involvement in SW fandom, and have come to some difficult, but, imo, necessary, conclusions.

Don’t worry, I am not leaving tumblr, nor am I going to stop posting on this blog. It means too much to me to do that. However, I feel I must make it clear that, from here on out, I can no longer have anything to do with any current or forthcoming ‘New Canon’ material, whether it be films, tv series (animated or otherwise), novels, comics….just…none of it. 

Most of you know me well enough by now that I don’t think I even need to explain why, but I will do so, just in case.... 

I had always intended to completely divorce myself from the Disney stuff once Star Wars: Rebels had finished airing, but since, for a variety of reasons, it turned out that I was never able to finish watching that show through to its conclusion, this ended up happening far sooner than I’d expected. (I won’t even get into my thoughts on the renewed Clone Wars season – the less I say about it, or even acknowledge its existence, the better…for the state of my mental and emotional health, at the very least.)

My reasons for wanting—no, needing— to stay as far away as possible from Disney’s version of Star Wars from now on are many and varied [see here, here, here, and here], but ultimately it comes down to several inter-related issues, the most key being that ever since TFA, I have not been able to trust Disney with Star Wars, and will never be able to fully trust them with it ever again. It does not matter how much ‘good’ material they put out to balance out the bad, it’s too late…the damage is done. And since the version of SW as put forth in the sequels is probably the worst, most out-of-character, inaccurate, and disrespectful interpretation of my beloved story that I could possibly imagine, I therefore cannot help but view the rest of Disney’s output (however innocuous, and regardless of who writes/directs/creates it) with extreme skepticism, and an anxiety bordering on panic.

As I’ve gone over many times before, the entire premise of the so-called ‘sequels’ is anathema to pretty much all of my long-held beliefs and understanding of the saga as a whole…and to what I had, for decades, assumed that other fans implicitly understood and valued as well. And so, the fact that so many fans have so readily embraced those movies and swallowed down Disney’s bizarro version of the SW saga without hesitation or question, has continued to leave me feeling more and more heart-broken and ostracized. Not only from an entire fandom, but also from popular culture in general. It’s made me realize that, for far too many people, ‘Star Wars’ is indeed just a blockbuster series of movies, and is not the mythical two-part saga that it is to me. For far too many people, it is now, at worst, an endless, profit-churning franchise…at best, another version of an expanded universe, albeit one that has been corporately ‘canonized’. 

The fact that I can no longer relate to most other SW fans is beyond depressing for me. Something I used to take for granted – the universal appeal and relatability of Star Wars as a modern myth—no longer exists. I can’t even talk about my beloved Star Wars with people in RL anymore, lest someone let slip a spoiler that will break my heart all over again.  It is no wonder that the lead-up to every subsequent release since then (even the ones I have been actively ignoring, which is most of them) has left me a shaking, nervous wreck….and given the often fragile state of my mental health in general, this has been downright dangerous for me at times. Even just stumbling across or hearing about SW related news and announcement can leave me distressed and despondent for days on end. It takes a herculean effort for me to then reclaim a positive headspace and find my ‘happy place’ again after something like this. So I blacklist as much as I can, but it doesn’t always work, because… in order to keep this blog even remotely active, I have to peruse other SW blogs for content. And, given my need to AVOID spoilers like the plague, I struggle to do this at the best of times. Disney has so oversaturated the market with their output that sometimes it seems like every damn day there is yet another announcement of some new release. It’s just too much, and the fact that there is no end in sight is demoralizing as hell. (I dream of creating a time machine and going back to before all of this shit, just to make it stAHP.) Ultimately, all of this combines together to leave me feeling completely alienated, stressed out, and just plain unhappy.

But no more, I say. This is FANDOM….it’s supposed to be FUN. It’s supposed to make me happy. Life is already horrifically depressing and stressful as it is. And what is more… this blog in particular is supposed to be my safe space. That’s what I created it to be, in the first place.

In short, the conclusion I’ve reached is this: in order to continue enjoying the REAL my preferred version of SW in the way that I need to engage with it, I MUST completely remove myself from new Disney content. If I do not, I will lose the ability to enjoy any of it at all. 

So, my friends, while I’m not going anywhere (not just yet anyway), I do need to ask you all to please continue being patient and understanding with me about these above-mentioned issues. If you want to engage in meta discussions with me, for instance, please be aware that I will only talk about interpretations of ‘Star Wars’ as Lucas’ saga (and anything that is supplementary or supportive of that), and will not engage with anything that tries to insinuate that the sequels nonsense is even remotely part of the same story. Likewise, I beg you all to please refrain from commenting on my posts or messaging me about anything to do with upcoming releases, news, or any Disney Star Wars stuff from this point on. Again, I’m happy to discuss past content…to an extent (if you’re not sure what, please feel free to message me for clarification). But any new Disney content I just….don’t want to hear about. At all. Even if you THINK I will like it or be ok with it. The fact is… I won’t. Because Star Wars is finished. It’s a completed story. ‘IT IS ALREADY OVER. NOTHING CAN BE DONE TO CHANGE IT.’  I neither want nor need any more from it – whether as a story OR a ‘franchise’ – than what already exists.  And I become stressed and anxious the moment anyone (purposefully or inadvertently) suggests that I ought to be watching/reading/seeing/hearing about what I personally feel is just a fake version of the REAL THING that I hold dear.

Finally, I just want to clarify that, because of all of this, it’s unlikely that I will be able to keep this blog up-to-date with all the ‘latest’ content (not that I ever have done so, lol). I will, however, continue to keep it to the standards I have set so far. As always, the subject matter will be mostly be Prequels Trilogy, along with the (original!!) Clone Wars animated series (aka, seasons 1-5), Rebels (but only up through season 4a), Rogue One, and, of course, the Original Trilogy. Some supplementary material from those eras may creep in, along with occasional EU content. I just I thought I’d better make it clear that there won’t be any further ‘new canon’ on this blog…. at least, not unless some kind of unforeseen miracle happens and Disney decides to de-canonize their shitty sequel trilogy and magically make me trust them again! (ha ha I can dream)

Because it’s so difficult for me to find new content on tumblr without running into stuff I do not want to see, I have for a while now had the goal of creating my own content for those times when I can’t find anything new. Frustratingly, due to the house move, I’ve been way too busy to even contemplate that in recent times, but I do have some still-unfinished and in-progress projects that I’d like to eventually share here. In addition to this blog, I also ‘curate’ my own RL Star Wars collection, so once I get a new safe place to set it up, expect regular photoshoots of my action figures and other collectibles as well. :)

Most of all, I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who has stuck with this blog for so long. Thank you for respecting my various quirks, neuroses, and eccentricities, and for helping to keep this blog a safe space.

And to any new followers out there…. a belated, but very warm, welcome! :)  

[ask-mingle]

TO ALL MY FOLLOWERS

I have something very important to say. Please, if You care for me, or my blog in any way, take a moment to read it. Unfortunately there are about to be some big changes on my blog. I will be honest with You... I can no longer keep it up like I used to. I always tried hard to make this blog the best it could be - just like ones I personally enjoy the most. And I did my best. But in time, it stopped being this fun escapism it used to be for me, and I put on myself too much pressure, to make sure it’s active, and posts are regular, and as many of my followers as possible are happy. And somehow... it became a second job for me. Right now I’m using up all my creative energy on it, which leaves me with none to draw other things, I used to love drawing. I’m spending too much time here, always having so many people to respond to, and so many posts to prepare, and to be honest it took it’s toll on me. I am so ever grateful to all of You. You supported me for all this time, and the passion, and engagement You all showed to all my posts is just overwhelming, and I’m so happy to see that things I do resonate so strongly with so many people. I can’t even believe, that I have more then 1 000 followers now. That’s just insane. And I still love Mingle, and this blog, but alas, its time for me to slow down, and give the time I’m using here to other things in my life. But, this is not a goodbye, by any means! I’m just going to drop all regular activity, and not push myself to make any amount of posts every month. If I’d ever feel like making something blog related I’ll just do, but no longer I will work with any schedule, and worry about being inactive too long, and constantly think about creating content.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR ASKS?

I’m dropping them entirely. I will probably close my inbox, as I already have 250+ asks there. Now, if I’d ever just feel like making one, or even draw any other random post for You guys, I will. I sometimes have really picturesque ideas with Mingle, and I don’t intend to keep myself from drawing them if I’d feel like it. I just no longer will consider it my obligation.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR COMMISSIONS?

Actually here is a good news - commissions may be the one thing that will suffer the least. They are always fun to do, and feel like a big adventure to me, so I will keep doing them from time to time. I admit, that I’m also in no position of dropping them completely, since they really help my situation, and with upcoming changes in my life, I honestly worry a lot about my finances. But with my creative energy saved thanks to other changes it should not be a problem. I will probably be opening only 2 slots at any time, since it’s less tiring for me, but who knows, maybe it will mean I will be able to do that more often? Or maybe I’ll be doing more YCH’s? Only time will tell, but commissions will for sure still be around. The only thing that may really change, is that I might just be opening them more randomly, without warning a week before, and maybe more ponies will have a fair chance this way.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR MY COMIC?

And honestly - if You asked Yourself this, let me thank You so, so much, for liking to follow it to the point, that, You’re concerned about it’s future! Thank You! It really means a lot to me. Don’t worry, this is a project I’m really invested in, and I will work on it, and I’m going to see it finished! I have this story in mind since the beginning of my blog, and I will not give up on it so easily. However, as some of You may recall, I once said, that I had 3 stories in mind. One (”Tale of the Cycle”) is already up. The second one (”Tale of the Shattering”) is currently in progress, but the third (untitled one)... well, I’m not sure yet. Maybe it’ll be told in the written form, or maybe I’ll make that one too. We shall see, when we’ll get there.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR MY PATREON?

Well, that’s complicated... but honestly... I’m afraid I’d have to drop it. Making only 2 post every month is already a very poor reward, and yet somehow it still drains me, and it’s one of the reasons my blog turned into a job. I will probably keep it opened, if anyone will want to still support me despite the circumstances, but I will not be making more Patreon-specific rewards.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR THE HALLOWEEN POSTS?

Okay, I just had to mentioned it. Halloween polls, and posts are honestly my favorite activities here, so I will continue this tradition as long as I can. So if any of You are looking forward for them every year, don’t You worry, more spooky, and sexy things are coming X3 So... this is it. I’m sorry. I know, a lot of You will probably feel let down. But it is what I really need right now, and I made this post, rather then slowly, and silently just start heading in this direction, because, I wanted to be 100% honest with You guys, and I really needed to give this decision a feeling of finality, so I won’t break and back away from it. So thank You all for sticking up with me, and enjoying what I do. I will still be here for You, and You’ll still see content from me, I just have to stop sacrificing so much to do so, and I hope we’ll still have a lot of fun, and memorable moments together. ~Your Mingle