#and its not just me experiencing this.

[thepoetrytheorist]

Casual Transphobia in the Queer Community in the Internet Age

If you are queer, please read this.

I can't believe I need to say this to the queer community in 2023, but I'm noticing a trend of transphobia in both online and irl queer spaces that is much worse and much more pervasive than when I was a baby queer in the late 00's.

I feel like we need to address casual transphobia more as a society. Of course it's important to discuss rampant transphobia, but we can't fully "fix" rampant transphobia without first talking about how normalised it is... even in our own community.

For background, I'm a 20 yearold anthropologist who happens to be trans. More specifically I am a genderfluid transmasc who identifies as genderquantum. My masculinity and femininity are inseparable. My pronouns are she/he. My gender can shift so rapidly that it's best not to assume which one I am feeling at any time. I am man and I am woman, and it is wrong to remove either of those from my identity.

I've also done extensive studies and research on human relationships and interactions. Why we act the way we do and what inherent societal norms are behind that.

I expect cisallohet's to misgender me, even in close and intimate relationships. It's quite normal for straight men to say to me "I understand that you're a trans, but I'm attracted to you as a woman." That sucks, but it's expected.

It's normal for my cisallohet friends to exclusively use he or she instead of mixing them up. I had to stop using "they" as a pronoun because I recognised that people refused to call me he and would just use she or they.

At the same time though, it's easy to expect the opposite from the queer community, when in reality... it can be quite the same. Quite a few lesbians have approached me and said "I'm sorry, I'm attracted to you, but I'm worried that it invalidates your identity as a man and mine as a lesbian." I've had gay men say to me, "but you're just a woman, so you wouldn't understand." These are all people who know my identity is genderfluid. These are all people who have been in the queer community for years. These are people for whom boxes are so important that they feel guilt when you exist outside of one.

I've even had bi and pan people say "but I see you only as a woman" "but you identify as a man!" "...but you're nonbinary right?" All of which are wrong, all of which misgender and misidentify me. All of which feel violent.

This is exactly the same if not worse than when straight people do it. It's exclusionist. It's misgendering.

And it happens to more than just genderfluid or other gender deviant people. It happens to mono binary trans people as well [people who identify exclusively as trans men or trans women].

We are being told "I'm sorry, but I only see you as your birth identity, and it makes me feel bad when I'm attracted to you" "you can't possibly understand my experiences, because you're not really a wo/man" "I'm sorry, but your identity as trans brings me discomfort in our interpersonal relationship since I have not come to terms with my own feelings towards real trans people."

To me, most of the issue is that in the age of the internet we feel as if we have to conform to the exact dictionary definition of our chosen label. We can't just be sapphic, we have to be lesbian. Bi means two, pan means all. And it's just bullshit. It's bullshit! You can have experiences that don't exactly conform to your identity. It's natural, it's normal, it's human. It doesn't have to change who you are.

You don't have to be a 5 star lesbian or 5 star gay man. You don't have to change your perception of the world to respect others! It's ok to befriend transfolk. It's ok to be attracted to trans folk. It's ok to pursue a relationship with someone who you genuinely like even if it doesn't quite match your identity.

It is not ok to make us feel bad for challenging your perceptions of yourself and the world around you.

Obviously I'm just one person on tumblr, I can't hope to make a difference with one essay textpost thingamajig. But if you've read this far, please examine yourself and your actions. You don't have do suddenly be the world's best trans ally, but please please please treat us with human decency and kindness.

[cthulhum]

does anyone realize how crazy it is to have the actor of a mostly headcanoned queer ship say the fans were never crazy and they were right all along after 10+ years of everyone just absolutely going nuts over the said queerbaited ship

[chloesimaginationthings]

i am not a very serious person

You know I feel like Michael Afton would be unphased being in the backrooms

[pien-art]

some wot sketches :3

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[stil-lindigo]

a non-comprehensive guide to my favourite characters in claymore, the best manga you've never read (more under the cut)

don't know what I'm talking about? here's a crashcourse.

[ruporas]

getting the attention of the humanoid typhoon

[miss-conner3]

En Español: Aquí

This was going to reference a sibling dynamic meme, but I got too excited XD

Brief context: Height difference in a future where Ando becomes a wandering traveler and the lamb digivolves until it reaches its maximum potential.

Or something similar to that, hehe (ouo)

I hope you like it!

Extra: A little idea regarding my two sheep!

"Forever is a long time, little lamb..."

This is the moment where I comment that I like light angst, but it's rare that I prioritize it, so don't worry (?)

[autismsupersoldier]

a non-exhaustive list of my dunmeshi cast headcanons, as well as a fun exercise in censoring genitals in creative ways. below the cut you can see a list of notes and explanations. hope you enjoy as much as i enjoyed watching the anime!

important to preface:

now, lets get into it.

thanks for lookin! here are some sketches too:

some more falins because shes my favourite!

[phospadparadscha]

we joke about how harry couldn't get over dora leaving him after six years but here's the thing. a lack of closure will do that to you. its very likely she left without a word. and harry is someone who was told that he could solve every case, could find solutions, could read people and receive answers for every question. and she still left. he couldn't solve the case of his broken heart. and that haunts him, right, that he has this unfinished business and this perpetual cold case that he can't even interview witnesses for anymore because the only witness is her and she's fled the country. she's gone. and so he's haunted by this ghost of what he thinks might have happened, throws possible suggestions as for who killed their love for each other, who is responsible, what it was, and none of them are satisfying or provable or actionable. he cannot accept that there was a problem that he could not solve. that there was a person he could not convince. and not receiving closure, proper ending, is traumatic. to give yourself body and soul to someone and to lose them without an answer, but there are so many answers you have nothing to do but guess what you did wrong. and so the nightmares come back night after night because his mind is still trying to work out a solution and the only solution he can come to is that he is a failure. or that she's evil. or that she's perfect, or she's god, or she lied to him, or she told him the truth and it was too much. But there's nothing left but the dead heart and the body beating it.

“When someone leaves your life, those exits are not made equal. Some are beautiful and poetic and satisfying. Others are abrupt and unfair. But most are just unremarkable, unintentional, clumsy.” Griffin Mcelroy.

[casualavocados]

You should stay away from me. I'm no longer with the gang. I didn't agree. Our boss already agreed four years ago. Pull over and let me out of the car. I'm your boss!

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 01 / Ep. 09

[watchingwisteria]

im so sorry i get it now i really do, the gay angels have me shaking screaming crying at all hours of the day and night, they mean everything to me i am literally thinking about them all the time and what it would mean to love someone steadily and silently through eternity, what it would mean to love across the lines of a divine war of supposed good and evil, what it would mean to carve out a space for oneself and ones lover in no man’s land, in the grey and moral ambiguity when you were created to be black and white without blemish. god i love them so much i just

[akolnoix]

subject: no hard feelings! :D

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

fantasy au whiteboard scribbles <3

[sunsetcurveauto]

one thing i havent seen anyone talking about when discussing isaac is when he meets james at the bookstore and they talk abt how isaac doesnt reciprocate james' feelings. and although james has the best intentions he tells isaac that (more or less) isaac just hasnt found the right person yet. and yeah isaac doesnt have the words or terminology at that point to express how he feels being aroace but it was still such a gut punch to see an example of someone who cares for you, even someone in the queer community, still negate your orientation using a phrase that is meant to be an assurance and yet is still what so many ace and aro people have been told

[ghastlyaffairs]

for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of

also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut

the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)