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ladykailitha · 2 months

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Batshit Soulmates Part 8

Second chapter of the day. In which I resolve the original cliffhanger and leave you with another.

In Medias Res| Prologue|Pt 1|Pt 2|Pt 3|Pt 4|Pt 5|Pt 6|Pt 7|

****

Steve was not a fan of the plan. Of any of their plans, really. But he went along with it anyway. What choice did he have? It wasn’t as though he just pick up his ball and go home. Not when they needed him.

He was forced to watch Eddie armed with a small bag of tools break into an RV. Once Eddie was in, Steve set about helping everyone else in. Erica first, Lucas, Dustin, Nancy, and finally Robin. Then hauled himself in.

Immediately he sought out Eddie.

He leaned on the seat as he watched his soulmate pull out a pair of pliers.

“Are you sure you’re going to be able to start this thing?” Steve asked, unsure.

Eddie yanked out some wires from under the steering column. "While all the other dads were teaching their kids to fish or to play ball...my old man was teaching me how to hotwire.” He stripped the wires. “Now I swore to myself I wouldn't wind up like he did, but now I'm wanted for murder and soon grand theft auto so...uh, yeah really living up to that Munson name."

Robin came up to them and gently leaned on Steve’s shoulder, careful of the road rash.

“Eddie,” she softly, but clearly concerned. “I’m not sure I like the idea of you driving.”

Eddie grinned. “Oh, I’m just getting her started. Stevie’s got her, don’cha, big boy?” He leaned forward so close that Steve was sure he was going to kiss him.

Steve’s lips pursed without meaning to, but Eddie was already pulling away.

Just then then the RV roared to life and the owners of said RV started banging on the door, screaming.

Eddie and Steve looked at them and then each other.

They swapped places, Steve immediately slamming on the gas pedal. And away they went.

****

They made a short stop at Steve’s car to get his wallet so that he could pay for all the shit they were going to need, but in no time at all, they had arrived at The War Zone.

Steve gave Erica, Robin, and Nancy a list of things to get. Max, Lucas, Eddie, and Dustin would watch the RV.

Nancy went straight to the guns, which surprised no one. She had been able to wear some of Max’s clothes, but Robin and Steve made for the combat gear first. They removed all the tags and got dressed, Steve grabbing two pairs of boots but not stopping to put either pair on. They were in a hurry and there were too many laces.

He came up behind Robin and started putting in more gas cans into her cart.

She looked up to see Vickie standing there, talking to her boyfriend and she just stopped.

Steve followed her line of vision. “I’m sorry, Robs.”

Robin closed her eyes and looked away. But Steve saw that Vickie looked over at Robin and then back at her boyfriend. They were too far away, but it looked like whatever Vickie had seen had made her hiss something at her boyfriend. He turned away just their argument got heated.

He had a world to save.

Nancy came up and touched his elbow. “We’ve got to hurry,” she hissed. “Carver’s here and he’s loading up on arsenal too.”

Steve’s body began to quake at the thought of him getting Eddie. He nodded and grabbed everyone. He paid with his father’s credit card and dashed out of the store as if Venca himself was on his heels. Or more like, as if Jason Carver was on his heels. Because he was.

Still barefoot, he hopped into the driver’s seat and told everyone to hold on. He gunned it and drove to a secluded spot where they could prepare for the final show down.

Erica threw the second pair of boots at Eddie and he put them on.

“Those tennis shoes are going to fall apart if you look at them funny,” she explained when he looked up at her in shock.

Inside the bag she had thrown at him was a tactical vest and bullet belt. He loved Steve’s feral children with all his heart. They clearly looked after their own.

Steve sat down with Robin making Molotov cocktails, having found a few bottles of alcohol in the RV.

He looked out at his ragtag army and a shudder went through him. Nancy and Max were sawing off the barrel of Nancy’s shot gun. Eddie and Dustin had finished making their nail shields and were rough housing in the field. The Sinclair siblings were making spears out of long sticks and hunting knives.

“We shouldn’t have to do this,” he whispered.

Robin looked up at him and then out at their friends. “I know.”

“I’m sorry about Vickie,” he murmured. “I guess I was wrong about her.”

Robin shook her head. “I can’t think about that right now. I have to focus on this.”

Steve nodded.

“I’m sorry about Eddie,” she muttered. “Finding your soulmate like that and not knowing if you two are going to live to make use of it...”

He let out a long sigh. “I know. But at the same time, I’m happy he’s here. He’s been so helpful. A lot of this wouldn’t have been possible without him. And I’m grateful.”

She pursed her lips and looked back out at Eddie, who was desperate to keep the kids’ spirits up.

“Yeah,” she said. “You found yourself a good one.”

****

They got to the Gate and Steve tumbled in first, doing a back flip to land deftly on his feet.

Nancy, Robin, Dustin, and Eddie who were watching from below were surprised at the move.

Robin scoffed. “What does he want us to do, clap?”

Steve winced and went in search of the mattress. When he came back into view Eddie started clapping.

Robin and Nancy glared at him.

“I’m sorry,” he said, clearly not sorry, “but what he did was cool and should be rewarded for it.”

Steve looked back up at them and gave them a thumbs up. Nancy went first, then Dustin and Robin. Eddie coming in last.

Steve helped him to his feet and they were close. Chest to chest almost. Their breathes mingled and their eyes locked on each other’s.

Dustin pushed between them and broke the moment.

Eddie was sure in that moment, Steve was going to kill the kid.

They walked outside of the trailer and Steve looked like he was about to cry.

“Don’t be heroes,” Steve begged. “If things go south, I want you to run. You two are just the–”

“Decoys,” Eddie said with a smirk. “We know. Look at us, do either of us look like heroes?”

Steve nodded and then turned and walked away.

Eddie called out, “Steve!”

Steve looked back, eyes full of hope.

“Make him pay.” He couldn’t make himself say the three words he had been wanting to say since learned the real Steve Harrington.

Steve nodded again, but Eddie could see the light leave his eyes.

Dustin hit him and hissed, “Kiss him!”

Oh.

Then Eddie was running. He spun Steve back around and pressed his lips to Steve’s.

Steve melted in his arms and Eddie knew it was the right thing to do.

They said their real goodbyes and Dustin and Eddie watched as the three of them went to go take on Vecna.

****

Between him and Dustin they were able to get the trailer shored up as best as they could against the onslaught of demobats. The trailer looked less like home and more like a fortress, but it couldn’t be helped. It needed to protect them.

Eddie walked into his bedroom, carefully skirting the vines that taken over his home. And there completely untouched by the vines was his Warlock.

“She looks like she was born to play in another dimension,” he breathed, reaching out to touch the strings.

He pulled her off the wall and swung her over his shoulder. He turned to Dustin, “You ready for the most metal concert in the world?”

Dustin’s face lit up. “Hell yeah!”

They made their way to the roof and Dustin plugged Eddie into the sound system they had rigged up.

Eddie pulled off his pick necklace and gave it a kiss. “This concert is for you, Chrissy!”

Then he laid into his guitar, starting the opening chords of “Master of Puppets”.

The bats that had been tearing toward Steve and the girls suddenly stopped and turned toward Dustin and Eddie instead.

The bats couldn’t attack while the song was playing it was messing with their echolocation.

Dustin crossed his fingers hoped that seven minutes was long enough to defeat Vecna, because that was all the time Steve and them were going to get.

The song was over and they dove back into the trailer. Then the demobats descended on them, clawing and screeching and fighting their way into the trailer. Dustin made it up the rope ladder, but Eddie could see them struggling their way into the trailer.

He yelled at Dustin to get a hold of Steve and booked it.

Steve had told him to run, he just hadn’t been clear where to run to. So Eddie ran toward Steve. Toward the person that knew him best next to his Uncle. Not because they were soulmates. But because Steve cared.

Suddenly they were fighting side by side. As equals this time, instead of Eddie saving Steve, they worked as a team.

But there were too many bats.

They were going to die.

Eddie held his shield above his head and hoped that he could protect them long enough for Nancy and Robin to kill Vecna.

There were the sounds of demobats hitting the ground, some of them hit the shield, but most of them rained down around them.

Eddie opened his eyes and looked out over the barren wasteland that was Lover’s Lake in the top world.

Littered around them were the dead bodies of hundreds and hundreds of demobats.

Eddie stood up and walked over to one to kick it with his foot.

Steve came up behind him and peered over his shoulder. “Are they dead?”

Eddie shrugged. “It appears like it.”

“What the hell happened?” Steve asked.

“Steve!” Dustin cried. “Eddie!”

The two older boys turned as one.

“It’s Max!” he cried. “She’s been hurt!”

****

I couldn't find a way to put in the story itself, but the reason Vickie was with Dan in the first place is that he lied about being her soulmate. He has a treble clef on his back near where her trumpet is on her shoulder blade. And when he comes back for college for spring break she learns that he's been cheating on her with his real soulmate. That's what they're fighting about here because she realizes who her real soulmate is.

Part 9 Epilogue

Tag List: @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

@spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 @swimmingbirdrunningrock

@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi

@messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv

@wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @bookworm0690 @vecnuthy @bookbinderbitch

@littlewildflowerkitten @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @scheodingers-muppet @cinnamon-mushroomabomination

@genderless-spoon @anne-bennett-cosplayer @irregular-child @oxidantdreamboat @mogami13

@samsoble @xandriumbat @ellietheasexylibrarian @lololol-1234 @y4r3luv

@disrespectedgoatman @king-zacharyy @chameleonhair @tinyplanet95

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #soulmate au

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eyelessfaces · 11 months

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out of sight, out of mind

poe dameron x reader

this fic is the prequel to better safe than sorry. therefore it doesn't really matter if you haven't read it because it's a PREquel, but then you know what to read next :)

better safe than sorry masterlist

summary: saying that you're terrified at the idea of losing someone you love again is an understatement. poe dameron happens to be the most reckless person you know.

warnings: reader has trauma and ptsd, mentions of death, angst (I mean, a lot), mentions of injuries, alcohol consumption

tags: f!reader, absolute idiots in love, friends to lovers, poe is in love, reader makes questionable choices but she has trauma okay, poe is so very sweet in this and it has me screaming, fluff, hurt/comfort

word count: 7.1k (personal record for a one shot, wow)

huge thanks to @eatingyouryoung for beta reading and for motivating me, supporting me and most of all bearing with me and the multiple mental breakdowns I had while writing this. love you bestie, thank you, really. <3

masterlist | taglist | ao3

There are moments where it’s only those memories, only those flashbacks clouding your mind and filling up the space for any other thoughts in your head. It eats everything else and doesn’t leave room to breathe, it engulfs everything on its way.

It is impressive how just a few minutes can determine the rest of your life, it is impressive how fast it can eat up everything else that matters.

It can play in your head over and over again when it wants to, like somebody’s favorite holo movie, rewatched when you should be asleep after a long and tiring day, and sometimes you get flashes of it during the day, even if you’re busy and should not be thinking about something other than what you’re currently doing, as if the images were screaming at you that hey, they existed.

You knew all too well that they existed, and for some obscure reason, you didn’t want to forget them.

You should want them to fade away, to disappear completely, to vanish into oblivion until nothing is left of that day, but something inside of you sticks there, holds onto those few minutes and doesn’t want to let go.

You don’t want the images to shatter into pieces, you don’t want it to be pooling at your feet like something you know you’re never going to be able to put back together. You don’t want to let go of it, you don’t want to let go of your last memory of her.

These moments aren’t present really often, at least not as much as before, but when they are they’re omnipresent and always remind you of how afraid you are at even just the thought of losing someone again.

Right now is one of those moments, the images play in the back of your mind again, it has become a regular occurrence for them to manifest themselves at the least convenient moments. Maybe Jess was right, maybe you should go see a professional so they could help you manage the manifestation of those memories.

The only thing faintly keeping you connected to reality is Poe’s voice mixing with the scene inside your head as you watch him speak, and even though it’s muffled and his words are barely distinguishable, it’s your only anchor, and you know that if you focus hard enough, it will bring you right back where you are, in the briefing room where he’s explaining everything concerning how the previous mission went and how things could have gone easier for everyone, tactically speaking.

You do and it works, and you’re back just in time to catch Poe’s gaze sticking to yours, a small wink directed your way drawing a wide and foolish smile from you before he looks away, leaving a heat creeping up your cheeks.

You’re barely able to focus for the rest of the meeting because of that simple thing, making it so you haven’t listened to any of it at all.

He dismisses everyone, chatter filling the room before it emigrates out of it, and you wait for him to be done talking with someone and he joins you.

“Hey” he smiles, walking out the room beside you, his arm wrapping around you, his hand resting on your shoulder. “You okay?” he asks as he tilts his head to take a look at your face.

You hum positively, or you hope it sounds positive, and you look up at him with a small smile to prove your point. “Just tired” you shrug.

His lips pinch in a compassionate smile, and his hand shifts from your shoulder to bury into your hair.

"Wanna come over tonight?" he asks cocking an eyebrow. "Just you, me, a bottle and my quarters"

"Is it really that obvious that I'm not feeling well?" you ask stopping in your steps with a small sigh, looking up at him.

He snorts, shrugging. "Obvious I don’t know, but I know you better than yourself" he chuckles, his hand shifting to your arm so he can squeeze you against himself. "So is that a yes?"

"It sure is" you smile, and he mirrors it before leaving a kiss at the top of your head.

—

Your eyes are watery from the alcohol, and you can feel the dizziness starting to manifest itself as you can see that your vision is slowly starting to delay like a screen's bad frame rate.

"So" Poe starts, taking the bottle from your hands. "Do you wanna talk about it?" he asks finally coming to the subject you've been thoroughly avoiding before, taking care of telling him about your day.

He brings the bottle to his mouth, frowning at the small shrug you offer him in response. He swallows the liquid as he raises his chin at you, handing you back the bottle. “It’s fine if you don’t, but you know that I’m always here if you need someone to lis–”

“It’s her death. The memories of it”

“Oh” his eyes soften, and he shifts closer to you, still sitting crossed legged on his bed.

“They’re less and less frequent, but when they resurface it’s all there is” you pinch your lips, a single nod showing that you’re accepting your fate despite how cruel it is. "And it's still so vivid, I still remember it like it was yesterday. Everyone loses people they love in this war, and it's almost been two years and yet I can't move on" you chuckle before drinking from the bottle, wincing at the strong taste of the drink. “I feel ridiculous”

"No one does" he nods, raising his eyebrows in a reassuring way. "No one moves on" he declares, taking the bottle from you when you hand it over. "You learn to live with it, but you never really move on." He watches as you chew on your bottom lip, looking down at your lap. “And this is not ridiculous at all.” he tilts his head to emphasize, putting the bottle down on his nightstand.

His hand reaches for yours, and you let him hold it. It feels warm, and his touch feels comforting, and you can feel your heart beat faster when he starts running his thumb back and forth on the back of your hand. “My mom died when I was eight, I’m a grown man and I haven’t moved on and I never will. I just had to learn to live with it.” You look up at him with compassion, but you also feel worried at the thought that it’s probably going to be a long, long way before you can recover from this experience and everything else it involves.

“But the fact that you lived and saw it makes it even harder, and you shouldn’t blame yourself for feeling stuck.”

You closed your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose maybe a bit too hard, as if you were trying to squeeze the images out of you.

"I watched her die in front of me, she was right before my eyes and I had to leave her there" the words leave your mouth in a hurried and panicked, trembling plea, throat burning with the tight knot that only seems to get bigger inside as your words remind you of the moment in question, just as if you were there again, anxiety starting to loom menacingly over you again.

A soft exhale leaves Poe’s mouth as his expression turns into one of helplessness, and he gently pulls your body to his so you both lay down on the bed as he holds you close to him, your back pressed against his chest, his arms wrapped around you.

"I know baby, I know" he whispers, pressing gentle kisses to your hairline, trying to ease your trembling and labored breaths.

You’re not crying, you can’t, you feel so full yet so empty.

—

The ringing, high pitched sound in your ears doesn’t help your current state of tiredness and the growing migraine slowly but surely beginning to anchor into your head, and you can soon feel a throbbing pain hammering into your skull.

It’s fairly late and everyone on base is back to their quarters and for the most fast asleep, save for the ones like you still focused on work. You should get some sleep, you need it, you crave it, but you refuse to leave the empty room before you're done filling your report, wrapping up the paperwork session you've been at for two hours now.

You almost drop your datapad at the sudden feeling of hands over your shoulders, a shuddery gasp slipping from your mouth. It wakes you up a little, your current fatigue making the effect of surprise even more intense, your heart thrumming into your ribcage and reverberating inside your whole body.

The momentary panic fades away when Poe walks around to the desk in front of yours, revealing that it's only him as your eyes follow him as you're trying to catch your breath, a relieved smile growing upon your face. You haven’t seen him since yesterday, both of you drowning under a crushing pile of work. You feel awful when you remember the state you were in, but you also remember that it’s Poe so he doesn’t mind and above all, he’s not one to judge.

"Sorry sweetheart, didn’t mean to scare you" his lips quirk in a soft smile as both of his hands grasp onto the back of the chair in front of you.

"S'okay, I just didn't expect any visit this late. Why aren't you sleeping?" you ask as you put the datapad down on the desk, looking up at him as you sink back into your chair, crossing your arms.

“Why aren’t you” he asks as he cocks an eyebrow, almost as if accusing you of the same crime.

You sigh as you raise your eyebrows, taking a hold of the tablet you put down not too long ago. “Well Leia will kick my ass if I don’t fill out all of this, and she kinda scares me when she gets mad, so I’m stuck here until I’m done with paperwork”

“I don’t blame you for that” he snorts. "Need some company?" he asks as he pulls the chair from under the desk.

"I'm almost done but sure" you declare, pointing your hand towards his chair to offer him to stay with you.

He sits down, a slight clinking sound resonating through the empty room when he puts his feet up on the desk.

You dive back into work, and he would have so many things to tell you about his day but he knows that you're desperate to finish what you're doing so he instead just looks at you, drinking in any movement of yours, even the littlest, admiring the way you look when you're focused, smiling at the way you bite down onto your lip in concentration all while he absent-mindedly fiddles with the ring attached to the chain around his neck.

It doesn’t take too long for you to finish your work and for Poe to escort you back to your quarters, finally getting to tell you about his day while on the way.

You’re disappointed when you see you’re already there, and if you weren’t so tired you would have invited him inside so you could keep chatting.

“You still haven’t answered my question” you say as you stop in front of your door, turning on your feet so you could face him, stopping him in the middle of his story about BB-8’s checkup.

“What question?” he frowns, a confused expression taking over his face, lowkey nervous that he forgot about something important.

“Why you’re not asleep.”

“Oh. I was revising details for tomorrow’s last minute mission" he nods as he crosses his arms, leaning his side against the wall.

“Last minute mission?” you repeat, your eyebrows slightly rising in curiosity.

He nods as he pinches his lips. “I’m leaving for a few days. Our contact found something interesting about the First Order, and I have to see this with my own eyes”

“Be careful” you nod once, the inner corner of your eyebrows angling up in worry, and he can see in your eyes that you’re pleading him. He’s not the most cautious recruit on base, far from that, but he knows what’s good for his cause, even if he sometimes has to pay the price, but you also happen to be more important than his constant desire for recklessness.

“I will, promised. Goodnight sweetheart.” he smiles softly as he stands in front of you.

“Goodnight Poe.” He turns to his feet, ready to leave, but you grab onto his wrist before he can. He turns to you, eyebrows raised, awaiting anything from you. “Thank you for yesterday. I really needed someone to talk to.” you nod, with a tired but genuine smile.

He smiles back at you, the corner of his eyes crinkling softly.

He leaves a quick kiss at your cheek before leaving, and you wait for him to be out of sight to finally go inside your quarters, and you can’t tell if the sigh leaving your mouth is one of longing or relief.

—

You’re sprinting through the base hallways, and even though it’s really not an uncommon thing to do there, you feel stupid for being in such a rush hoping that he isn’t gone yet.

Once you arrive in the hangar, catching your breath, it is flooded with orange jumpsuits, making it hard to recognize anyone if they’re not directly facing you, but you just happen to spot the little droid that indicates that Poe’s not far away.

Poe’s eyes light up when you approach and he realizes you’re here to say goodbye, and you shake your head as you walk up to him, almost sprinting once you’re close.

“You do anything risky, I’ll kill you” you threaten as you throw yourself into his arms, the end of your sentence muffled against him.

“Okay. Where's my goodbye kiss?” he asks as he lets his hand rest at the back of your head, and he smirks when he hears your muffled chuckle.

“if you come back without a single scratch,” you start, pulling away from the embrace, looking back at him. “You’ll have a welcome home kiss.”

His right eyebrow rises in interest, and a sly smirk grows over his face.

“Now that’s an interesting deal.”

You point a finger to his chest, the tip pressing against it, your head slightly tilting to the side, looking right into his eyes.

“Not.” you push your finger deeper. “A.” deeper again, and—

“–Scratch, yes.” he completes your sentence, taking a hold of your hand, closing it into a fist and pressing it against his chest.

“That’s right. I’ll check” you tease, your other pointer finger pressuring him.

He snorts, “I’d love to show you every single part of my–” his voice quietens as he suddenly looks down at his feet, at the circular droid nudging him. “Yeah buddy” he looks back up at you. “I should get going”

“Alright. Goodbye handsome, be careful” you smile, and he bites down on his lip as he lets go of your hand before starting to walk backwards.

“You gave me a reason to be, I will be” he shouts from a distance, pointing back at you as he walks away, towards his ship.

—

The few days he had announced to be the time where he would be gone transformed into a whole week, and though you were busy every night either with work or with friends, you couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing at random moments of the evening.

Thankfully feedback from coms said that everyone was okay and that the mission was going exactly as planned, so your state of worry was greatly diminished.

You still couldn’t stop thinking about him and you hated yourself for being so attached to Poe Dameron, but at the same time how could you not when he acted the way he did around you.

You were walking around base with friends when you heard word from a passing group of people that Poe’s squadron had gotten back from their mission, and even though it was getting late and you could wait see him the next day or whenever you would run into him next, the curiosity and apprehension to find out whether he had gotten injured or not took over you.

You apologized to your friends for having to leave them, and hurriedly made your way through the base to join the hangar.

Once you arrive there the scene in front of you is pretty much the same as when you joined Poe before he left; a sea of orange figures, ships on the ground, metallic sounds and indistinct chatter filling the room.

Poe sees you before you see him and rushes towards you, a sly smirk over his face as he sprints across the hangar, and the moment you finally see him is the exact same moment you want to warn him about the ship wing that’s about to–

It hits his head with a loud thud.

A yelp that quickly transforms into a groan escapes his mouth, both of his hands covering and pushing against the area of impact as he momentarily curls up on himself in place because of the sudden pain.

Your mouth is gaping in shock before you sprint to join him.

“Fuck are you okay?” you ask hastily, a nervous chuckle leaving your mouth as your hand rests at his back while his eyes are shut tight, his hand grabbing onto your arm.

“Yeah I’m okay, I’m okay” he nods, his other hand still clinging onto his forehead. He sighs a curse word under his breath, shaking his head as he frowns before he snorts.

“I was uninjured before this.” he chuckles as he looks at you, a skeptic smile over his face. “Not a scratch”

“Mh? Well that’s too bad.” you tease, putting your hand over his shoulder. “Come on, medbay.”

“No no that’s fine I’m o–”

“Nuh uh I don’t wanna hear it, we’re going to medbay” you insist, pulling onto his arm, raising your eyebrows and tilting your head towards the direction of interest.

Poe reluctantly goes to medbay with you, the medics check him up rather quickly, and everything turns out to be okay; you only have to stay there sitting face to face to hold a cold pad to his forehead to prevent a bump from appearing.

“So, how’d the mission go?”

“Great. Couldn’t have been better. Got into some ambushes but we crushed them” he smiles. “And not a scratch, nothing” he nods proudly.

“See, you can make efforts when you’re interested in the promised outcome” you chuckle, shifting in place so you could get a better position to hold the pad over his forehead.

He winces, “S’cold as fuck”

“That’s the point” you huff out a laugh, and he smacks your thigh playfully in response.

“So” he starts, clearing his throat and shifting in his seat. “Can I get my price?” he asks, a sly smirk growing over his face.

“...I don’t know” you hum, a fake skeptic expression over your face. It’s hard to refrain from smiling when you see his semi-pouty face, “You technically didn’t respect the conditions.”

“What? It shouldn’t count!” he starts bargaining like a child that has been wrongly accused for something their sibling did, and you huff out a small laugh seeing how he reacts to you simply teasing him.

“I mean, you got hurt” you shrug.

“The mission was over”

“I told you to come back uninjured, mission or not, or else what's the point”

“Fair enough, but you didn’t specify beforehand”

“Well, now you know” you say, a small exhale leaving your mouth when you get up from your seat, and Poe doesn’t waste any second to follow you, tossing the cold pad onto the nearest surface.

“Alright, okay, but now I want a second chance at this so it’s fair game” he bargains, following you closely when you exit the medbay.

"Alright, alright" you agree as you turn back to him. "Come on now, you need to rest" you turn to your feet again, towards the hallway extending before you.

He remains standing in place when you start walking again, just looking at you and pondering. It takes him a few seconds before he catches up and joins you again, walking by your side.

The both of you are silent for most of the walk to Poe's quarters; it's pretty uncommon for Poe to remain quiet for more than thirty seconds, and it has you thinking.

"You really want your kiss, huh?" you ask rhetorically, stopping in your steps and turning to him once you're in front of his door.

He pauses, and takes a look at you before answering. "Of course I do" he chuckles, and you nod as your teeth sink into your bottom lip.

Poe barely has time to process you getting substantially closer to him before you grab the collar of his flight suit and put your lips over his, gently pushing him against the wall.

The quarter of second it takes for him to fully be aware of what's happening leaves him sighing against your mouth, and once he's sure that it’s all real, his hand cradles the back of your head, pulling you even closer.

His other hand rests at your hip, your own hands leaving his collar and resting at the back of his neck, and low hum vibrating against your mouth when your fingers bury into his short curls there.

You pull away just for a second before he yanks you towards him, kissing you back with even more vigor.

His lips are warm and pressed tight against yours, the heat of his body feeling omnipresent even though you're the one caging him.

You smile at the sight of the starstruck expression left over his face when you pull away, and your heart sinks at the way his warm eyes look at you.

“I was messing with you, I always keep my promises” you tease with a grin as you start to back away, your hands behind your back, giving him space again.

“Admit it, you didn’t want to be kind to me, you just wanted to do it” he smirks, a teasing tone in his voice before he bites down onto his bottom lip. “You wanted to kiss me”

You smirk back at him, shrugging before turning onto your feet and leaving for good, retracing your steps.

Poe stares at you leaving until you're out of sight, and he can't help but smile to himself when he enters the code to his quarters, still not fully believing what just happened.

You, you should feel overjoyed, but you can’t help but acknowledge that bittersweet feeling starting to get to you as you’re walking back to your quarters and being faced with reality again, your mind starting to overfill with too many thoughts; you’re getting too attached.

—

You toss and turn in your bed, and all you’re able to do instead of sleeping is hating yourself for kissing Poe, for certainly making him feel like this meant that you were ready to give him what he had been wanting from you for so long.

You do have feelings for him, and that’s where the problem is; you can not love anyone, and certainly not someone as reckless and impulsive as him, not someone you could lose technically so easily.

You can’t go through this again, you know you wouldn’t be able to carry the weight of his loss.

Maybe it’s selfish, maybe you’re making the biggest mistake of your life – no; you’re sure of that – but you’re also sure that you wouldn't be able to handle enduring this again; the simple thought crushes you.

You toss and turn in your bed, and while Poe is certainly delighted of what happened, you hate that you’re going to have to distance yourself from him because you fucked everything up.

—

It has been a week since you and Poe had kissed, and it seemed like you were thoroughly trying to avoid him ever since, hurrying out of the room after every briefing, taking advantage of the crowd and of the people wanting to talk details with the commander.

You happened to never eat at the same time as him anymore, and you were nowhere to be found when he looked for you in places he knew you would usually be.

Poe was left confused, and even though he had a lot of work and technically other things to think about, the fact that he couldn’t catch you to talk even just for five minutes was bothering him and leaving him wondering if he had done something wrong, especially with what happened last time.

He had thought this kiss would change things between you, would lead you somewhere and that he would finally get what he had wanted for ages; you.

He knew it was no coincidence that you wouldn't stop ignoring his presence, that you wouldn't maintain eye contact through the briefing room for more than two seconds; that you wouldn’t run into him anymore; he knew he had been just a fool, too stupid to think that this could lead him somewhere, lead the both of you somewhere, that you would feel the same way he felt for you.

—

You took it as a sign that your friends had understood something was wrong when they practically dragged you to go get some drinks, and while you weren’t particularly in the mood to do that, you had to admit that you needed some distraction.

You needed to be busy in order to avoid thinking too much, to avoid getting too deep into your own head, because you knew that if you did you would break.

And the distraction technique actually works; you’re having a good time, chatting and laughing, forgetting about everything else going on besides that, and it feels really good, the illusion feels good.

There comes a time when you start to feel the drinks you’ve downed, the slight drunkenness starting to manifest itself as well as your need to pee.

You're still in a pretty good shape, drinkingly speaking; you're not fully drunk yet, just tipsy – the feeling is still pleasant, and you just have to stop for a second to maintain balance on your feet when you get up from your seat to join the cantina's bathroom.

The room is empty when you go and lock yourself into a stall, and the muffled music gets clearer when a group of people enter the room seconds later, their loud and high pitched laughs almost fully covering the sound of the loud music before it gets muffled again.

“So” one of the girls starts as she recovers from her laugh, “How’d last night end?” she asks, and the question elicits curious gasps from the other girls of the group.

“Yeah, we didn’t see you after you left the room with Commander Dameron” another girl teases, putting emphasis on the rank and last name, and your eyes widen at the sound of that.

Well. Try to forget about something and it’s shoved into your face right back away.

This catches your interest nonetheless, and you make sure to wait a little before you wipe yourself, not wanting to miss a beat of the conversation.

"Well," another girl starts, the girl who you assume is the girl who left the room with Commander Dameron.

"We were both drunk and it was sloppy but damn is he good at it” she declares proudly, a fit of giggles filling the room.

Oh.

She's talking about something else, right?

This can't possibly be, right?

Right?

"No way you slept with a commander, Jana. This is like a special success, something to check off a list" one of them chuckles.

"Sure did." Jana replies, and this is cliché and a bit not-feminist but you can just imagine her putting another layer of gloss on her lips.

Fuck.

It's with a half lie about not feeling well that you leave your friends and go home to your quarters, trying to repress the tight knot in your throat when you don’t even bother to change into your sleeping clothes and curl up into your bed.

—

The next briefings after that are awkward and feel delicate, and even though they already were before, you now can not look at Poe without internally wanting to scream and break something.

You hurry out the room faster than before if it’s even possible, and you need to be constantly distracted and busy with something in order not to think about him and all of your current situation with him.

You make your way out of the seemingly way-too-busy room once more, apologizing as you slalom through the crowd of people, an exhale of relief escaping once you get some relatively fresh air in the hallway.

“Hey” your heart jumps when you recognize Poe’s voice as he grabs your arm, and you sigh softly when you’re forced to turn to him. He must have disregarded everyone’s questions to exit the briefing room that quickly. “Why won’t you talk to me? Why do you barely even look at me?” he asks, and his voice slightly cracks at the middle of his sentence. He’s not fully scolding you, he genuinely wants answers.

A soft exhale leaves your mouth, and you can feel and hear your heart starting to beat fast in your ears.

“Did you sleep with Jana?”

The question is dropped like a bomb, and you know it’s going to have the effect of a bomb no matter what happens – it’s going to destroy everything, but at this point there isn’t really anything left to lose, nothing left to save either, it’s all doomed.

You already know the answer, you already know he’s going to respond positively because he’s an honest man and definitely not a liar; it’s something you have always appreciated in him.

“I–” he is speechless, and his mouth is gaping, trying to come up with anything to say though he knows damn well what he has to say if he wants to be honest with you, even if it’s going to ruin everything, until– “Yes.”

You expected it, and yet it still hurts.

You had secretly hoped that the girl in the cantina bathroom had made that lie up to impress her friends, and you deep down knew she hadn’t, but you somehow buried yourself deep into denial, thinking that hoping otherwise would somehow manifest the truth to be different.

“I can’t wait for you forever. I don’t want to.”

Immediately and like a reflex your eyes close, your lips pinch and you nod, trying to ignore the sick feeling bubbling inside your chest though it’s impossible.

It hurts, everything hurts, nothing will ever be the same with him and it’s entirely your fault, you brought it upon yourself.

He’s not yours after all, and you made sure of that, so you shouldn’t be upset, you shouldn’t feel your heart sink. It’s not legitimate.

“You know that’s not what I meant” he starts again, the inner corner of his eyebrows angling up in compassion when he sees your reaction. “I could wait for you forever.” he nods, a bittersweet smile over his face. “But you’re making me feel like a fool. I don’t want to feel like a fool forever” he nods one last time as his lips pinch to repress something, and you can see his eyes glistening a bit, and your heart aches at the sight.

You bite down on your lip trying to contain your frustration, or your growing state of misery; you’re not sure, and all you’re able to reply is just–

“Okay.”

It’s bland, cold and dry, but it’s truly all that can come out.

You don’t have the heart to bargain and beg for your cause, and it would feel unfair and dishonest for him anyways.

“I’m sorry” Poe immediately says, and you feel bad that he is the one to be sorry, that he feels like he is the bad guy in that whole story when all of this is entirely your fault.

“No, no, I am. I get it” you try to reassure him, forcing a small smile out of you, still trying to make it seem like you’re doing fine, though you know there’s no use trying to when he knows you so well.

You can’t stay here any longer or you will break, and you don’t have anything left to say anyways, not when you know it probably has to end that way.

You leave as fast as you left the briefing room earlier, and Poe feels sick when he watches you go, feels the need to puke when his head somehow fills with every memory you’ve ever made with him.

You’re glad your back is facing him when you have to frantically wipe away the single tear rolling down your cheek.

—

It feels strange not having Poe in your life anymore, at least not properly; and it's probably worse that way, the fact that he's still around and that you're still often being confronted to each other, forced to pretend not to care about each other.

It hurts that he's now back to being "just" a commander to you, a colleague, that you're both back to being basically strangers, that the eye contacts don't linger anymore and just leave a bitter feeling lodged inside your chest when they used to leave butterflies in your stomach.

Your heart aches every time you catch a glimpse of him, and it’s hard trying to stay focused when you work around him, go on missions with him.

You feel terrible for what you’ve done to him, you feel sick that he feels like he's been played with when all you wanted to do was protect yourself, you feel bad that he has to be collateral damage.

You truly hope he doesn’t hate you, and you think that this might be your biggest fear.

That the only man that has ever truly believed in you, that the man that you love could hate you, even if he has all the reasons in the world to and you wouldn’t blame him if he did.

Now is not the time to think about it, because you've been assigned and sent on a mission with him, and you're kinda thankful it's not the kind of mission that only requires two people and you just happen to be paired with him – you're thankful people are with you for this one.

It should be an easy mission, you just have to get something back.

A smuggler had stolen something that was supposed to get sent to the Resistance, but the guy happened to be tougher and more skilled than expected, and the logical solution to get back up on this was to get the Resistance itself.

You’re making your way through a quiet alley bathed in darkness, following the target from a distance, observing each of his movements to calculate how you could get an opening so you could get to him and steal – no, get back what’s yours.

Your group has split up, everyone trying to join the guy from different points and accesses across the area.

If all goes well you can surround him in case you don’t have the opportunity to attack before, and technically he shouldn’t be able to get away, at least not until you have taken back what he has stolen.

You're doing pretty good so far, the guy hasn’t noticed he is being followed, so you have been able to gradually get closer and you're so close to being able to attack and if you could just shoot him in the leg and get back what's yours–

You're suddenly and abruptly yanked out from the main alley, and even before you can react at what’s happening and scream in surprise and fear, a hand pushes over and blocks your mouth, the other hand wrapping tight around your waist, your back pressed flush against your assailant's chest as their own back rests against the wall of the small, secluded alley you’ve been pulled in.

Your eyes look around in fear, your head unable to move, blocked by the strong hand covering your mouth; you want to scream, trying to wriggle out of whoever's grasp you're trapped in, panic starting to creep up your chest, until–

"Calm down, don't panic, it's only me." the soft and gentle whisper of Poe's voice in your ear makes you relax in his grasp, waves of relief washing over you. "He knows that we're following him, he was waiting for you to get closer to trap you" he explains, and you start to loosen up when his hand leaves your mouth and he lets go of you. “Sorry I scared you”

“Thank you” you nod as you face him, your hands resting over your knees as you catch your breath from the sudden rush of fear and adrenaline.

Your eyes widen and you look back at Poe when you hear a fight starting not so far away from where you are, shouts and sounds of blasters firing.

“I’ll go” he declares, hastily taking off his jacket. “Stay there and keep this for me, will you? You were shivering while I was holding you” he smirks teasingly, throwing you his leather jacket.

You chuckle as you catch and look down at the piece of cloth, and he waits for you to put it on to shoot you a smile before leaving, not even giving you time to beg him to be careful and not do anything stupid.

At least you’re now certain that he most definitely does not hate you.

—

Poe is sitting in the grass on a hill not so far away from base, looking up at the starry sky, just enjoying the fresh air of D'Qar. It feels nice after the particularly busy and tiring day he just had, his muscles still sore and tense from the mission, especially the muscles joining his neck and shoulders.

“Hey” the sudden sound of your voice tears him out of his thoughts, and he even thinks he hallucinated it before he turns to you.

“Hey” he pinches a smile as he looks up at you.

“I wanted to give you your jacket back” you say as you look down at the jacket you’re currently wearing, and you must admit that you’re a bit reluctant at the idea of having to give it back – it smells just like him, a mix of his natural comforting scent and his aftershave, and it feels like the closest you’ve ever been to him in your life.

“Oh. No need to, you can keep it, you look good in it” he smiles wide, and you scoff softly.

"Alright. Can I?” you ask, referring to sitting down next to him.

“Hm? Sure” he nods, patting on the grass. You sit down next to him and watch him as he looks in front of him, admiring the view extending before him. The sky is pretty, the stars are especially bright tonight.

"Thank you again for earlier. And… I'm sorry for even earlier" you say, and his gaze drops down to his lap. "I'm sorry I was being an asshole and I made you feel like an idiot just because I don't know how to deal with my emotions." He looks back up in front of him, and you're scared when he doesn’t say anything and just stares ahead, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip. "Can you forgive me?"

His face turns to you, and he nods, a pinched, awkward smile over his face. "Of course. Of course I can"

You can't help a relieved smile from forming over your face, and you look at the stars for a moment before looking back at him. He looks almost heavenly, bathed in the stars' light.

“You know I love you, right? Poe, please tell me you do.” you ask, almost beg, still scared that he could believe the opposite.

"I do. I know it" he nods softly, looking at you. He pauses before continuing, as if he was thinking of the right words to say. "But I don't want you to feel forced to be with me if you're not ready yet" he continues, and his hand rests over your thigh as he looks at you sternly, wanting to show you that he means it.

Your heart sinks at how considerate he is, even after how you've been treating him, but you're not even surprised; he's the kindest, most gentle man you've ever met, you have always known this.

"I can wait for you, and I will, I'm not going anywhere." he looks down at your thigh when your hand covers his, and he looks back up at you. "I mean it."

It shouldn't have the effect it has, because you've never wanted him as much as you do now, but you have been wanting him for long anyways so it doesn't really change anything.

“I’m terrified of losing you.” you mutter under your breath, saying this as if you were justifying yourself though you know you don’t have to.

“And why would you lose me?” he asks, almost sure it's a rhetorical question, his hand moving so it could grab yours. His fingers intertwine with yours and the gesture makes a chill run down your spine, you're sure it's not the fresh breeze of the night.

“You’re the most impulsive and reckless person I’ve ever met, Poe. That might simultaneously be your biggest blessing and flaw” you smile softly.

He scoffs. “But I’m also the best pilot in the Resistance, so…” he tries to reassure you with a fake sly smirk, for once, holding tighter onto your hand. “Trust me, will you? I know it’s hard for you, I know what you’ve gone through and I know what you're scared of but I promise you that we’ll be okay.” he nods, and you happen to believe him, he is able to do that.

"You don't have to wait for me, then" you declare, your head resting over his shoulder. He smiles as he wraps an arm around your shoulders, leaving a kiss at the top of your head before his rests over yours.

You will love him anyways, you will be terrified anyways, and if you have to live with the fear that everything could stop suddenly, you would rather do it by his side.

—

if this flops and if I get no feedback on this I will scream, cry, break something and consider retiring from writing so if you've read all of this please give me feedback or a comment or a reblog I'm literally begging you on my knees........

better safe than sorry masterlist

masterlist | taglist | ao3

star wars masterlist: @apollo-enthusiast @lockleysgrl @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @anightshift @whatthefishh @dameronshandholder @campingwiththecharmings @mintgreen24 @dameronshandholder @spider-starry @jakecockley @cocodiem @spxctorsslxt @friedwings @luxisluxurious

#poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron fic #poe dameron x you #poe dameron x y/n #poe dameron fanfic #poe dameron fluff #star wars #oscar isaac #oscar isaac characters #poe dameron angst

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demoiselettes · 1 year

Text

To keep warm

Valentine’s Day event, day 6.

Pairing: Tanjiro x reader/Zenitsu x reader/Inosuke x reader

Category: fluff

Warning(s)/note(s): fem! reader

+ This was supposed to be posted on the 14th, but i accidentally deleted Tanjiro’s and Tengen’s oneshot :( i hadn’t included this one in the event, but i had to write something for the last day since i’m cutting the event short by one day. Happy belated Valentine’s Day<3

@brokeniced , @crimsonkenjii-writes , @holywaterforevery3ne

“Tanjiroooo! I can’t walk anymore- my feet will fall off!”

Exhaling loudly through your nose, you listened to Tanjiro assuring Zenitsu that the walk was almost over, when in truth, you had no idea when it’d end.

“Can’t we find one of those stupid Wisteria House or whatever?” Inosuke huffed, but even his voice was weary. The fight with a poison spewing demon had been long and dreary and all four of you were positively incandescent with fatigue. You cast a wishful glance at Nezuko’s box, wishing it were you sleeping inside. It was dark and cold, with no sign of human civilisation anywhere. You didn’t know when of if you’d find an Inn nearby.

“It’s very late,” Tanjiro announced nervously, nostrils flaring as though trying to sniff the air. “I suggest making a stop..”

“HUH?” Zenitsu yelped. “W-where will we sleep? I don’t want to turn into Inosuke!”

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?”

You trotted towards a big tree trunk that had fallen on the ground and plopped down on it. “Let’s set up camp. We don’t have a choice, Zenitsu.”

Very reluctantly, Zenitsu relented and when there came the question of who would go search for kindlings, he immediately vetoed himself out.

“I’m staying with [Name]-chan!” He hastily wrapped his arms around you. “I can’t leave a girl alone at night!”

“I’m a Demon Slayer.”

Laughing, you made no attempt at pushing him away even as Tanjiro scolds him and Inosuke clicks his tongue.

Somewhere along listening to Zenitsu whine about his hard life while spontaneously switching to wanting to get married and waiting for Tanjiro and Inosuke to get back, you nodded off. Not for long apparently.

« Get off her! »

Tanjiro’s familiar voice echoed in your ears. Your body felt warm and heavy.

« But it’s cold! » Zenitsu whined in reply.

You were still half-asleep and didn’t know if you were dreaming or not. But the way your body was being shaken indicated that you were very much awake.

« Oi! Get off and gimme your place! »

« NO YOU GO AND FIND ANOTHER GIRL TO CUDDLE YOU BOAR HEAD! »

« Stop screaming! [Name]-san’s asleep! »

« You’re shouting too! »

You groaned and pulled yourself to sit up at once. Zenitsu yelped.

« Ah, [Name]-san! » Tanjiro fretted. « We’re so sorry we woke you up! » he wasted no time in executing a full bow numerous times. You shifted and felt something crinkle on you. Looking down you realized you’d been draped in Zenitsu’s orange haori like a blanket.

Inosuke merely huffed, walked over to you and promptly yanked a whining Zenitsu off you. “Make way.”

He settled down next to you and copied Zenitsu’s earlier actions, except he got underneath the haori too.

“Inosuke, what the h-“ you protested.

“Monitsu said you’re warm and i’m freezing!”

“That’s not what he meant!” Tanjiro’s face was now nearly scarlet and he waved his hands in front of him frantically. “That’s inappropriate, Inosuke! Let go of-“

“Why does he get to coddle a cute girl?” Zenitsu whined. “You guys are always stealing her attention- that’s not fair!”

You blinked owlishly at Zenitsu, then at a very red Tanjiro, trying not to pay too much attention too Inosuke hugging your arm.

“It’s true!” Continued Zenitsu without any qualms. “The other day she was tending to your injuries and you were-“

“[Name]-san was just being nice!” Tanjiro’s tone matched Zenitsu’s shrill one for the first time since you’d met him.

“What’s there to fight about? I’m obviously her favorite fighter!” Inosuke roared.

“Zenitsu!” you groaned, too tired to listen to them fight. “I was just helping out. If you feel like i’m not paying enough attention to you then here,” you nodded your chin towards your left flank. Zenitsu wasted no time in making a beeline for you, hugging you so abruptly he nearly slammed you into Inosuke (who then slapped him on the head.)

You threw a sly glance at Tanjiro. You couldn’t tell if it was the sleepiness making you think so boldly, but it happened for you to ask: “Do you want to join?”

“I-“ he choked. “I’m alright, th-thank you!”

You stared at him through half-lidded eyes before you gave an eloquent shrug. Inosuke was already snoring and Zenitsu quickly slid down the log to rest his head on your lap, giggling drunkenly. It took a long time, but eventually the three of you had fallen asleep with Tanjiro stating he’d keep watch. When he saw your breathing deepen, he quickly pressed a hand to his chest, feeling his erratic heartbeat. A pang of guilt shot through him when he felt envious of his two friends snuggling up to you. It wasn’t right, but maybe next time he’d accept your proposition.

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #nan’s valentine.#tanjiro x reader fluff #zenitsu x reader fluff #inosuke x reader fluff #kamaboko squad x reader #nezuko x reader #nezuko kamado #tanjiro kamado #zenitsu agatsuma #inosuke hashibira

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musings-of-a-rose · 7 months

Text

Falling Slowly - Chapter 3

Pairing: Tommy Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 2600+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story.

Notes: This is the chapter where the start of my initial thought happens. Literally wanted to write one thing, but Tommy had other plans for me. If you want to know, it’s actually been in the fic moodboard since the beginning, but also check out this moodboard too.

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

**Divider made by @benkeibear

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Falling Slowly Masterlist

Tommy Miller Masterlist

<<;Chapter 2<<

“Mornin’ sunshine!” Tommy greets his grumpy brother as he walks into his kitchen, immediately raiding the refrigerator for some food.

Joel grunts at him, taking another sip of his coffee as he watches his brother move about the room. He hadn’t seen him outside of work for a few weeks, but Joel’s truck needed a minor repair, and he’d needed a ride to work.

“...and I really think I can close that contract. Mrs. Jones loves me, and I could probably get her to agree to those upgra-”

“You got laid.”

“-upgrades. What? Why would you say that?”

Joel narrows his eyes. “Because you’re extra…chipper…When did you have time to find someone who would let you fuck them?”

“I get around.”

Joel puts down his mug and crosses his arms, watching Tommy flit about the kitchen, resuming his conversation about Mrs. Jones and moving into one about Daisy.

“Aren’t you gonna take that girl on a date yet?” Joel blurts out, cutting Tommy off mid-sentence.

“Who? Oh, Daisy? Nah, we’re just friends.”

Joel looks at him. “Yeah, friends who keep the condom companies in business.”

Tommy’s eyes snap to his brothers. “I never said we were fuckin-”

“Oh come on Tommy. Your entire body does this..shifty thing when you talk about her. Your eyes light up like she’s all that matters. And now? You have the “I fucked her” look on your face when you talk about her so don’t give me that crap.”

“I’m not supposed to tell anyone.”

“You didn’t tell me. I figured it out. But do me a favor and just ask that girl out already?”

Tommy shrugs. “I don’t know. But if it makes you happy, I’ll think about it.”

It’s been several months and our arrangement is going very well. I swear we’ve fucked on every surface of each of our homes, sometimes not even making it past a few steps in the door before we’re on the floor or up against a wall. When I asked him if he would attend a work party with me, he enthusiastically agreed, pushing me in the bathroom and bending me over the bathroom sink as I watched his face while he fucked me, those curls I love falling onto his forehead, some of them sticking to the sweat beading across his gorgeous skin. So things were going great. There was just one problem, a small one really.

I love him.

I’ll never tell him. I don’t want to risk losing him in any capacity, and if I’m being totally honest with myself, it would be really hard to go back to being just normal friends. I can’t get enough of him, his smile, his laugh, the jokes he cracks when we’re hanging out or when he’s buried deep inside of me, the touch of his skin on mine, the way his curls sometimes fall onto his face. He’s ruined me for other men and I’m totally ok with that.

But sometimes it makes me want to scream “What are you doing, Daisy?”

I do take solace in the fact that he hasn’t found someone either, whether from choice or not I don’t know. And that’s not something I want to ask myself. Not yet.

Shaking my head, I pull into the site lot where the project he’s working on is, walking up to the trailer and knocking, lunch bag in my hand.

“Come in.”

I open the door and he glances up, a smile spreading across his face when he sees me.

“Hey Daisy! I wasn’t expectin’ you.”

I hold up the bag from his favorite place. “I knew you’d be working late tonight and miss burger night so,” I shake the bag, walking up to his desk and placing it down on an unoccupied spot.

Tommy looks at me, his eyes soft when they meet mine. What is that look? Love? Nah, I’m probably projecting.

“Thank you, Daisy. That was really sweet. I didn’t expect this.”

“I brought something else.”

“Oh?”

I walk around the desk and Tommy pushes his chair back, turning it towards me as he looks up expectantly. When I drop to my knees between his legs, his eyes grow dark.

I spend the next several minutes pulling as many sounds as I can from this man, wiping my mouth when I stand.

“Hope you enjoy lunch.”

“Is it ok if I invite Daisy to Sarah’s birthday party?”

Joel looks over at his brother from his side of the truck. “I don’t think so.”

Tommy furrows his brow. “Why? She’s been around a few times. Her and Sarah get along. "

“You take her on a proper date yet?”

“Who are you? Mom?”

Joel shakes his head. “I don’t want you bringing strange women around my daughter.”

“She’s not a strange woman. She’s my friend.”

“Any woman you’re fuckin’ but refuse to have an actual conversation with to define your relationship is being disrespected by you. And I’m not letting you set the example to my daughter that that’s ok to be treated that way.”

Tommy’s mouth falls open. “Hey, fuck you man. We are definied. Friends with benefits.”

Joel gives his brother a look. “You know there’s more to it than that. Any idiot can see it. Except you two, apparently.”

I had to go a couple of time zones away for work, hating the time I have to spend away from Tommy. Maybe it's a good thing? We are nearly always together and we aren't even together. Officially.

The jet lag hits me hard when I get back and swear all I've done the last 2 days is sleep. On the third day, I manage to force myself from bed to take a shower and start to unpack. I have a bad habit of waiting to do that, usually from being sad the trip was over. This time, I was happy to be back so I could see Tommy, and while he did pick me up from the airport and bring me back home, he ended up leaving, demanding I get sleep and feel better. He'd dropped by a few times and brought me food, but he ended up leaving, saying he could see I was trying to stay awake when he was around and he just wanted me to rest.

I grab my toiletry bag and head into the bathroom, pulling things out of the bag and putting them away. I have a small basket under the sink where I keep my travel items. I open the door and grab it out, putting everything away. When I go to put it back, something is blocking the basket, annoying the shit out of me. I bend down to see what could possibly be blocking me from just putting my crap away. A small box of tampons had fallen from the top of the drawer set I have down there to organize other things. Rolling my eyes, I grab the box of tampons and angrily shove them where they go, pushing the basket into it’s proper spot. I close the door and stand up, stretching. Heading back into my closet, I dump the clothes from my suitcase into my laundry hamper. Even if I didn’t wear them, I’m still washing them. Shoving the suitcase in it’s storage place at the back of the closet, I close the door and sigh, glad that that was finally over.

I head to my kitchen and make a little lunch. Nothing major as I still haven’t regulated back from my trip. I’m about 7 spoonfuls into my vegetable soup when I realize something, like a puzzle piece I’d been staring at for hours that finally jumps out to slide into it’s place.

The tampons.

I shove myself back from the table and walk with purpose to my bathroom, yanking open the cabinet door and feeling around for the box of tampons. I grab it and pull it out, peering inside. Only a couple were missing, as I’d just needed a couple near the end of my last period. Which was…when exactly?

I grab my phone off it’s charger and flip to my calendar, counting back days and realize…I’m late. I’m never late. I can set my watch to my period it’s always so precise. But…I’m not even feeling sick? Aren’t you supposed to feel nauseous?

I know it’s just jet lag, but I should grab a test to officially rule it out. Just to calm my now racing mind. I mean, Tommy and I doubled up, he with condoms and me with birth control. These things are supposed to prevent this kind of….problem.

I pull on some sneakers, not even bothering to change out of the athleisure outfit I had on, and go to the closest store that would sell what I need with the least chance of me running into someone I know. I stand in the isle, staring down what feels like a hundred rows of tests, all advertising the same thing in different ways. In the end, I decide to buy 2 in case I fuck one up. I go with something called a “pink dye test” and another that just reads it out to you in plain English.

By the time I’m done reading the directions, my hands are shaking so bad. I don’t know why, as there’s no way I’m pregnant. The directions say it’s best to test first thing in the morning with your first pee of the day, but there’s no way I’m waiting for that. Somehow I manage to not pee all over the place, setting the sticks upside down in the wrappers and turning on the timer for 3 minutes. The longest 3 minutes of my life. I take the time to putter around my bathroom, absentmindedly cleaning off random things until the timer goes off. Ok, so when these say negative, I’ll give myself a few days to not be exhausted and, if I still am, I’ll make an appointment with my doctor. No big deal. Just ruling this out. I grab the one that just reads it to you, thinking this would be easier than trying to figure out of I was seeing 2 lines or 1. I take a deep breath and exhale, flipping the test over, my eyes focusing on the tiny box that would read out my fate.

PREGNANT

I laugh. I actually laugh out loud. And not quietly, more like a full body laugh, my head tipping back with the force of it. Which is probably not the most mature response, but this test is faulty. I would get the one faulty test in their lineup. I mean, it even says it’s not 100% on the box. I reach for the pink dye test, flipping it over, feeling the smile that was on my face start to falter as I look down.

Two lines. That…wait that can’t be right. I snatch the directions off the counter, eyes scanning for the part about reading the results. It says 2 lines means pregnant. It says some other things but I suddenly can’t focus, my eyes snapping back to the 2 little tests on the counter, 2 little sticks that are changing the entire course of my life. Assuming I want it. Do I want it? I don’t not want it. What am I saying? Do I really want to have a kid? Now? If I was going to have a kid with anyone, I’d want it to be Tommy. Fuck, what the hell am I going to tell Tommy?

He texts me a couple hours later to check on me and I tell him I’m feeling better but still tired and need a couple more days. He doesn’t question this and why should he? He says he’ll see me Friday, our weekly Netflix and chill night and I can’t say no. If I do, he’ll suspect something.

“She’s alive!”

Tommy smiles at me, that ear to ear grin that I find so damned endearing as he pulls me in for a tight hug, kissing the side of my head.

“I missed you, Daisy. You feelin’ better?”

“Eh. I’m not sure.”

“Still?” He crooks his finger and tilts my jaw up, his eyes roaming over my face and I almost crack then.

“Your eyes do look…odd. You need to go to the hospital or somethin’? I can drive-”

“No. No, I’ll be ok.”

He doesn’t look convinced as I pull myself from his grip, every inch of me begging to be closer. We get the food set up and I manage to eat some, nerves killing my appetite. We settle onto the couch and he pulls me up next to him, resting his head on mine. As much as I don’t want to move, I have to tell him. It’s eating me alive and I can’t…I need him on this. I need to talk to him, my best friend.

“Hey, Tommy?”

“Mmm?”

“I need to tell you something.”

He lifts his head and pauses the movie, turning his head to give me his full attention. My eyes meet his, soft and warm, and I almost choke. It’s killing me to break this happy buzz he has going on.

“I…I don’t really know how to tell you this-”

“You found someone else?” He chuckles, but it’s nervous, like he isn’t quite sure, his eyes bouncing between mine.

“What? No, never.”

“Phew! Well then, darlin’, anythin’ else you have to say can’t be bad.”

“It’s big.”

“So am I.” He waggles his eyebrows and I punch his arm.

“I’m trying to be serious, Tommy.”

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry.” He pretends to lock his lips and hand me the key, his big eyes settling on mine.

I take a deep breath. It’s now or never.

“I’m p-pregnant.”

Tommy laughs, his body shaking with it, his head tilting back with it, very similar to my initial response and I can’t help the soft smile that appears on my face for a second or two at this parallel.

“Ok, ok, Daisy. Pregnancy isn’t something to joke about.”

“You’re right. It isn’t.”

His laughter starts to fade, his eyes still meeting mine as I will him to finally realize what I’m saying. The moment it does, I can see it - the smile dropping, his eyes growing wide, and he starts nervously stammering.

“I-I…uh wh-what…uh…when….why-”

“I’ve been feeling exhausted since my trip, realized I hadn’t had my period, took a few tests to rule it out, and…” I gesture to my stomach. His eyes flick down to where I gestured, somehow growing wider, as if he could already see a belly. Which is crazy because I’m too early. Right?

I need to read a book.

“P-pregnant? But that makes no sense! I suited up and you - you said you were on birth control.”

“I am. Well, was. When I found out I was pregnant, I stopped taking the pill. And no, I never missed a dose. Always took it on time.”

“Then h-how?”

“Sometimes these things just…fail. I guess. I mean, it does say like 99% effective.”

His breathing has picked up, his chest starting to heave with the weight of it all. He starts glancing around the room, looking for any indication that I was joking. When he finds none, he stands abruptly.

“I-I can’t be here. I gotta..I gotta go.”

“Tommy-”

But he doesn’t stop, tripping over his feet and yanking open the door after fiddling with the lock, slamming it behind him as he all but runs towards where he must have parked his truck.

I don’t know what I expected. I guess maybe more…anger? That wasn’t like him. Talking? Maybe. Nervous support at least? Something. But Tommy storming out like I’ve told him he has 5 seconds before I'm dunking him in a tank full of piranhas? I didn’t expect that. The man was in Desert Storm - I thought he couldn’t get freaked out. When he gets back, I’ll have to ask him about that.

He will come back, right?

>>Chapter 4>>

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mlove44lh · 1 year

Text

Don’t hurt yourself

Chapter 3 - Anger

Masterlist

Previously chapter

Warnings: cheating, angst, mention of infertility, mention of blood and hospital (really short), alcohol use.

Lewis is a real asshole in this chapter, I think that could go as a warning too.

Words: 2.750

“If it's what you truly want ... I can wear her skin over mine. Her hair over mine. Her hands as gloves. Her teeth as confetti. Her scalp, a cap. Her sternum, my bedazzled cane. We can pose for a photograph, all three of us. Immortalized ... you and your perfect girl. I don't know when love became elusive. I think of lovers as trees ... growing to and from one another. Searching for the same light.

Why can't you see me? Everyone else can.”

I step slowly into the apartment, my head spinning with the anger I feel and all the alcohol from earlier. The place seems different from what I had left before, the white walls filled with memories in the form of our photos no longer bring me the comfort and happiness they used to.

I can hear Lewis' footsteps in the hallway outside. I take a deep breath, preparing myself for the imminent confrontation I can no longer postpone.

Lewis slams the door behind him with enough force for the sound to reverberate throughout the apartment.

"Stop with this silent treatment bullshit. You ignored me all night. Isn't that enough?!” His voice is louder than usual.

I place my bag on the wooden dining table and turn towards Lewis, who is standing in the middle of the room with his jaw clenched and his eyes fixed on me.

"I told you this conversation would happen at home.” I feel the anger burning in my throat. I seem calm, but I grit my teeth over so many emotions stuck inside me.

"Here we are." He gestures to the entire living room. "Now, can you tell me what the hell is going on? First, you've been acting weird all week. Then at dinner, you didn't say anything except to make senseless comments. You drank two bottles of champagne alone, even though you know you can't drink. Do you want to throw away all the treatment we're doing?”

Suddenly, I can't contain my emotions any longer. I explode with words that should never leave my mouth. My laughter is a humorless, painful groan. How can he bring this up now? How dare he act like nothing is happening? After cheating on me, he still has the audacity to want to build something big together?

"Fuck this treatment, Lewis! I have no interest in conceiving a child with you anymore!" I scream at him for the first time in my life, and say the worst things I could.

You know that feeling when you regret saying something even before the last word leaves your mouth? That just happened. The pain in Lewis' face becomes clear before my eyes, but it's not greater than mine. I could never imagine saying those words to him. To the love of my life.

Lewis stays quiet, motionless, as if he's glued to the floor. Like him, I try to process the words I just uttered. I don't know where they come from, or if I really feel that way. But I don't move to take them back or try to retract what I said. I think this is the moment I'll remember as the breaking point. There's no turning back after saying something like that.

But life is made of choices, and I choose to move forward with my anger.

I walk to my bag, and for a brief moment, the sound of my heels hitting the floor is the only thing that can be heard in the room.

I take out the bracelet that I've kept with me all this time, and walk up to him with the object clenched tightly in my fist.

I walk close enough to hear his breath. His eyes shine with sadness. I can't recognize us at this moment. Everything seems so wrong, so confusing. We know each other so well, but now I feel like I'm looking at a stranger.

I feel a lump in my throat, and for a moment, I'm afraid that I'll break down.

"I stopped taking the hormones five days ago, Lewis. You would know that if you paid any attention to me.” He keeps his eyes locked on mine, and I can identify an appeal in them. "I stopped when I found this in your car.”

I hold out the bracelet with my index finger near his face. I watch realization taking over his expression while his gaze moves between my face and the object in my hands. He seems to want to say something, but I don't want to hear a word from him until I finish saying everything I need to.

"The problem was there for a long time, wasn't it? It was my love for us that blinded me and didn't let me see what was right in front of me. Until this shit showed up" I throw the bracelet at his chest. Despite the almost zero distance between us, I know that Lewis barely feels the metal contact his skin. He remains motionless. The bracelet falls between us, resting on the cold floor as we continue to stare at each other. "I tried to deceive myself. Even today, I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and let you make up for everything you destroyed in me."

I feel my eyes welling up, but there's more anger than sadness in the tears.

"Y/n..." Lewis' voice comes out in a tone that I don't remember ever hearing before.

I cut him off before he can say another word.

“But then I arrive there, at the dinner you invited me to.” I extend my index finger until it touches his chest, and just this minimum contact makes me tremble. “And I watch you looking at her in the same way you used to look at me. And the worst of all is that you were acting as if nothing was happening. You wore this lie so well that if she hadn't done what she did to show me the truth, I would have left that restaurant even more in love with you. While you were lying to the woman you swore loyalty to on an altar."

His fingers wrap carefully around my wrists. I try to pull away the moment I feel the contact, but Lewis doesn't let go and keeps holding me in my place.

"Y/n. Please listen to me.”

I don't want to listen to him, but I know I need his explanation.

"Go ahead. But tell me the truth if you still want the slightest consideration from me.”

It takes him a few seconds to start talking.

"It's true. But it didn't mean anything, not for a moment. It was the biggest mistake of my life, Y/n. And I know that doesn't change anything about what I did. But I'm so sorry." He puts word upon word as if his desperation could change something. "I'm sorry. I was selfish and in a bad place, and she came along and seemed so simple. I didn't think about you or us. But I swear there's nothing left. I realized what was at stake and ended everything.”

It's not a “this never happens” or “you misunderstand” the only thing I get is an apology.

Even though it was already clear, hearing it from him manages to hurt even more. His dark and guilty eyes look at me with such supplication that even staring back at him becomes a difficult task.

"When did this start?”

Lewis lowers his gaze as soon as I finish my question, perhaps out of shame or fear of my reaction to the answer.

"September.”

I break free from his grip as soon as it sinks in.

"You were fucking her while I was going through that hell?!”

I watch tears streaming down his face, but I feel no sympathy. What I want now is for him to suffer even more for the consequences of what he caused himself.

“It was a hard time for me too.”

"No." It's unbelievable that he's playing that card now. "You're not going to do this to me. Not after everything I went through.”

"But it's the truth. We were both living in hell." He says barely a second after I finish speaking.

"And your way of dealing with that was by cheating on me?!” My voice comes out in a scream for the second time tonight.

The adrenaline inside me is so intense that I can't stand still. I take a few steps back from his figure.

"Y/n, you've changed since the diagnosis." The forced laugh that comes out of me is the only thing I can express. "You think I was the one who distanced myself when, in fact, you had already been distant for a long time. You looked at me as if I were to blame for..." He trails off, regret etched on his face the moment he falls silent.

It's like a knife has been plunged into my chest. Even before he finishes, I already knew where this was going.

"Finish it. Tell me, Lewis. Tell me that I looked at you as if you were to blame for my infertility."

"That's not what I meant."

"Yes, it is. It's written all over your face."

"No. I meant because of the situation we were in."

I shake my head as I stare at Lewis incredulously.

"How callous and self-centered does a person have to be to make this kind of deduction?" My voice is low, and the words spill out without much forethought. "I bled for hours, only to receive the most devastating news of my life shortly after. I left that hospital and rebuilt myself piece by piece to try to move on. And during that process, you believed yourself to be too important to not receive the attention you craved and went after that whore to stroke your ego."

Lewis tries to approach me, but I move away as soon as I realize his intention.

"Get away from me!"

"Y/n, please. I would never do that. That's not what I meant. I just want you to understand.”

"There's nothing to understand! What you did has no explanation.”

I turn my back to his figure as I feel tears streaming down my face. I wipe my face with my hands, trying not to let him see me cry. The tears are not just about what he did, it's about everything we went through together. It's about me thinking I had someone on my side who understood me and would never do this to me. But now life feels more raw than ever, and I feel alone. The pain is intense and the feeling is that it will never go away. I feel vulnerable, exposed, and very angry.

I'm not sure I can stand, so I walk over to the couch and sit on the edge of the white cushion. I feel the comfort of the upholstery in contrast to the tension in my body. As I try to calm down, Lewis comes to me and kneels on the floor, putting himself at the same height as me.

Lewis takes some time before speaking again.

"Listen. I love you so much. And I know what I did may be unforgivable. But Y/n, we have been through so much together. I really want to fix this. I don't want to give up on us.”

I don't look at him.

"But you've already done it.”

"No. I made a mistake. The biggest one, but I will never give up on us. I'll do whatever it takes, please.”

My eyes flicker towards him, but I can't bear to hold his gaze for more than a fleeting moment. It's as if looking at him for any longer would be a betrayal to the pain and anger that I feel.

"If only you had been honest. But you lied. That's even worse. You acted like everything was fine when you had just admitted that everything was wrong even before you got involved with her." Lewis wraps his fingers around my ankle as if hoping to change my thoughts with just that touch. "You promised me that whenever something went wrong, we would talk about it. And when it did happen, you just ran away from me. How do you expect me to forgive you for that?"

"Please," he begs me for something that not even he knows.

"I'm going to pack my things."

"No. Y/n, don't do that."

I stand up but can't take more than one step. Lewis comes to me and rests his hands on my shoulders, keeping me in place. I feel exhausted. I think I have no more strength to keep going with this. I've reached my limit tonight, and so has he.

"Stay. This house is yours. I'll sleep in the guest room, but please don't leave. We can talk tomorrow when we're both calmer. Let's give ourselves tonight to think.”

"I've spent the last month thinking. I have nothing else to think about. I don't want to talk to you anymore, Lewis. I don't want this anymore.”

"Y/n, please. It's three in the morning. You have nowhere to go now. Stay here. You don't have to talk to me, but I don't want you driving like this in a nervous state."

His concern seems like a joke, it might have moved me if we weren't in this ridiculous situation.

"If I stay, you're the one who leaves.”

��Y/n...”

“Get your stuff.”

“Where am I supposed to go?”

“I don´t know. I don´t care. Go to her place. Take the opportunity to let her know that you're single now.” I go to the cellar and take the first bottle of wine I find there. “Just be careful with Matteo, he might kill you if he finds out you're fucking his little bride.”

Lewis stares at me for a few seconds before heading towards the bedroom. He knows I can't handle another minute of conversation tonight. Now the only thing I want is distance from him.

I open the wine bottle and pour a glass with a surprising calmness. Perhaps my level of stress and shock is so high that I no longer know how to deal with it.

With the bottle in one hand and the glass in the other, I walk to my office and close the door behind me. I don't want to see him leave, trying to convince myself that it's because I don't want to look at him anymore, but in truth I'm afraid of not letting him pass through the door.

I take every sip of my drink as a desperate attempt to calm my emotions. I am sitting in the armchair in the middle of the dark room, and I can hear every step Lewis takes just a few meters away from me. Sometimes, I can even tell which room he is in.

But then, after a short while, I hear the final thud - the sound of our apartment door closing. And suddenly, silence fills the room, bringing with it an intense cold.

I want to allow myself to cry in this moment, but I can't. Exhaustion takes hold of my body and mind, but I know I won't be able to rest until I know what will happen with us.

Author's notes: CALM DOWN, DON'T FREAK OUT. I'll post chapter 4 soon. I promise it won't take as long as this one did.

Let me tell you, it was a struggle to write this one. I spent hours just to write a few words. It was definitely the hardest one yet.

I kinda feel bad for making Lewis such a asshole. He's like my baby, you know? But hey, we still have a few more chapters left, so who knows what could happen? (Not even I know, haha.)

Anyway, thanks for sticking around and i see you in the next one!

#au fanfiction #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton fluff #lewis hamilton smut #lewis hamilton x reader #f1 x reader #fanfiction #smut fanfiction #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #lh44 #lewis hamilton fanfiction #mercedes amg f1 #spotify #fanfic #formula 1 #formula 1 fanfic #formula one #formula one fanfiction

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marinaiguess · 8 months

Note

💜💜💜 “i’m sorry you had to see me like that” sonic + character of your choice 👀

Thank you so much for this prompt, Chaox! I started this today and I'm posting it now, without a second editing round bcuz I need to sleep but I wouldn't be able to sleep if I didn't finish this today :) Hope you like this <3

Sonic Forces inspired. 2k words.

He's getting out of control. Fists clenched so tight he's sure, weren't it for the gloves, he would have drawn blood. His mind is hazy, vision gradually blurring as he tries to shift his attention from the echidna in front of him to anything else.

He should do that right now; he should look away.

Albeit, he can't.

"Can you repeat that, Knux?" he says, his voice laced with venom.

Knuckles takes note of the dangerous undertone—of the warning behind it—but doesn't quite grasp the severity of the situation. He crosses his arms, turning his head away from the other's interrogating gaze. Maybe he can't bear the look on his face, maybe he can't bear the fact that he's wrong. For just this once, he can't deny it, he should have been more careful. Yet another responsibility he had failed to take care of successfully.

"You heard me alright," He spits, anger boiling inside him. "He's not here, Sonic."

Knuckles can feel Sonic's gaze penetrating through his skull. From his peripheral vision, he is able to see the way he's staring at him, the way his jaw tenses and he realizes, it might have been a better idea to break the news in another, more tactful way.

Sonic takes one step forward and suddenly the air is thicker, denser; the room turns tenser.

Amy senses it and opts to act first by putting a hand on his shoulder. "Wait, Sonic, please--"

He yanks her hand away without even bothering to look at her. "Stay out of this, Amy."

"You're kidding," Amy scoffs and she’s not sure if she’s reacting to him ignoring her or to him expecting her to just stand and watch.

This time, he doesn't hesitate to turn his head to glare at her and his emerald eyes have never looked more intimidating before, not to her.

Yet, she doesn't back down. "This is not Knuckles' fault, you know that."

He laughs. There’s nothing funny or humorous about his laugh, but it emits from the depth of his soul, echoing in the room as he turns his attention to Knuckles once more.

"Tell me, commander, whose responsibility was it to look after him while I was gone?"

"Don't give me that shit, Sonic. We couldn't really keep an eye on him--"

Sonic's forearm connects to his neck, pushing Knuckles to the wall behind him. "You couldn't?"

He ignores Amy's pleas, putting more force into his grasp. "Where is he?"

"How should I know?" Knuckles growls. "He's been gone for three months."

Everything goes quiet. Even Amy's voice fades out of existence as Sonic registers Knuckles' words. Without really intending to, he backs down a bit, although he’s still holding Knuckles against the wall.

"What?"

When Knuckles tries to push him away, Sonic doesn’t give him a chance to even touch him and he slams his head on the wall as a warning, his forceful grip returning shortly after, despite hearing Knuckles coughing. Sonic knows he's strong, possibly stronger than him, under normal circumstances, so he understands, even in this state of mind, that Knuckles decides to not fight back.

Good. He doesn’t wanna go all out on him.

"Where is Tails?" he repeats the question.

"I don't know, okay?!"

Knuckles’ scream is the last thing that’s heard in the room, inside the Resistance HQ. Silence fills the void, until Sonic breaks it.

"I trusted you, Knuckles. I trusted you with my little brother's life. And with mine too."

Those words hurt more than Knuckles could have imagined.

But Sonic doesn’t relent, throwing more daggers right at his heart. "Maybe you're just not fit for the job. Or for any job. You shouldn't be taking responsibilities you can't handle."

Knuckles finds himself unable speak, so Sonic does it for him. "I'm gone for six months and you're telling me the war is still going? Great job, commander. On top of that, Tails is gone?"

Knuckles coughs again. "Stop it."

Sonic’s fangs show as a grin carves its way to his face and Knuckles can't tell if it's a sinister act or if it's a coping mechanism to hide his pain. "How does it feel to have failed at everything?"

"Sonic!" Amy intervenes, not courageous enough to properly stand up to him, however.

She's standing still, her hands balled into fists against her chest. It's probably the first time in a long while she's felt this scared. She's never witnessed Sonic lose control like that.

Knuckles meets her gaze and reads her like an open book, agreeing with her thoughts. No matter how well Sonic knows him—well enough to use just the right words to hurt him—in any other case, he wouldn't have gone this far. Something about him is off, his no-die, no-lose attitude is nowhere to be seen, his hopeful, full of excitement for the next adventure eyes are gloomy and dark, his logic is clouded by concern. Even if this is about Tails, this isn't typical of him.

Those six months imprisoned in space did take a toll on him, however much he tried to hide it once they rescued him.

"He's fine," he reassures, getting ahold of Sonic's forearm with both hands, ignoring the way he tenses and hisses. "You trust him, right?"

"Of course, I trust him." he barks, immediately. "But we're in the middle of a war, commander. Eggman might have gotten ahold of--"

"You're--" he scoffs. "You're not thinking straight."

Sonic bares his teeth, his jaw tightening even more. "Are you saying that me being worried is irrational?"

"Yes, it is. The kid can handle himself, Sonic."

"You said it, Knux. Kid. He's just a kid and he's been gone for—for three months?"

"You've left him behind for longer than that before." Knuckles notices out loud.

"It was to protect him!" he spits on his face.

Yet, Knuckles seems unfazed. "What's so different this time around?"

Sonic's mind short-circuits. His eyes widen when he takes in the sight in front of him. He doesn't quite remember how they got here.

"What would he say if he saw you like this?"

The final blow. Sonic had him against the wall but Knuckles had him cornered. He may be right but Sonic would rather not admit that, for the sake of his ego not getting wounded.

He takes a deep breath, letting his arms fall. Knuckles is standing firmly on both his feet now, managing to keep his breathing in check.

Until Sonic approaches him, noses almost touching as he jabs a finger to Knuckles’ chest.

"If there's a possibility, even a slight one, that Tails went through half of the hell I did, I'm blaming you."

Knuckles knows he meant every word, which makes him furious; knowing that he was calm and collected enough to say something like that. Calm enough to walk away after that statement. He can’t just stand there and take it like a champ, resulting in Sonic looking like the bigger guy in this quarrel.

And so, he breaks, guilt washing over him like pouring rain. "You know what, Sonic? You're not the only one who's had it rough. While you were gone, we were fighting our asses to keep the world safe. It wasn't an easy task."

"Yeah? And how did that go?” He turns around to face him. “Ninety-eight percent of the world under Eggman's control and Tails lost,” He huffs a short-lived laugh, bitterness emitting from it. “Excellent work."

Knuckles wants to punch him, he wants to wipe that smug, sarcastic smirk off of his face to knock some sense into him (especially now that he seems he’s pulled himself together, at least a bit) but Amy steps between them, holding her arm out to stop Knuckles on his tracks. He could push her away but she knows he won’t.

"Knuckles is right," She states, locking gazes with Sonic.

For a single moment, she regrets it, upon witnessing the way something passes by Sonic’s eyes, pain written all across his face.

"Knuckles is what? He's right? By saying I didn't have it rough?"

"I didn't—"

Sonic cuts him off, waving his hand as he closes his eyes. "For once in my life I felt truly helpless but I thought you had my back."

Amy and Knuckles can only stare, jaws slack at Sonic’s confession.

"And you just… proved me wrong. I'm—"

His voice breaks, slightly, but of course, it doesn’t go unnoticed.

Knuckles’ face softens and Amy approaches him, just a little bit. "Sonic..."

Sonic ignores her as he sits on the ground, the reality of the situation finally sinking in. "Shit.”

He brings his knees to his chest, almost curling into a ball as he moves his hands closer to his face, inspecting them. Only now he realizes they’re trembling.

He starts rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms, even if he’s using too much pressure it hurts.

Amy takes a few moments before she kneels next to him, a comforting hand making its way to Sonic’s back. He winces when it makes contact with his fur, arching away from the touch but one look around him persuades him he’s safe. With one long inhale, he decides to relax and accept the friendly gesture, despite it not helping that much.

It is sincere. That’s all that matters.

“We can work this out, like we always do,” She speaks after what feels like an eternity. “We will find him.”

It is wishful thinking more than anything, Sonic notes in his mind. If Tails doesn’t want to be followed, he knows how to hide his tracks. Especially with all the commotion thanks to the war happening around them, it would be ten times harder to get ahold of him or even a rough idea of where he might be.

But Amy’s right. They always win at the end of the day. Together.

Knuckles crouches next to him, patting his shoulder since he seems less tense now. “I’m sorry I couldn’t live up to your expectations,” He confesses and Sonic turns his head around so fast he feels dizzy. “You’re right, I wasn’t fit for the job. But it was a real mess, Sonic. We were lost and outnumbered. Tails felt lost as well, helpless.”

At that Sonic tenses but allows Knuckles to continue. “With you around, we might be able to fix things.”

“Yeah, maybe I—”

“Under my command, though,” Knuckles smirks.

“Aye, aye, commander,” Sonic pouts, playfully.

“And,” Knuckles looks at the wall in front of him. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like whatever you had to deal with back there was not rough. With the way you’re acting, I know it was really bad.”

“Meh, whatever,” Sonic waves a hand at him, grinning. “I’ve had it worse.”

Amy snorts and Knuckles’ raises a brow but they both decide to let it slide.

Sonic hugs his knees, his grin falling. “I’m the one who should be apologizing,” He says, taking a deep breath. “I'm sorry you had to see me like that.”

“It’s okay,” Amy reassures without missing a beat. “We know.”

Sonic looks at both of them, their smiles urging his own to appear on his face as well. If he feels his throat tighten, he ignores it. He feels like he’s cried enough the past six months; more than he should have allowed himself to. Good thing no one was around to see the mess the Infinite illusions had made of him.

“Alright,” he gets up, newfound courage flowing through his veins. “Let’s get to it.”

They get up as they nod when a slam of the door catches them off guard.

“Sonic!”

That voice. Sonic’s smile reaches his ears before he finds the source of the voice.

He’s safe. They both are.

He’s real.

“Tails!”

“I was so worried.”

“You worry too much, look! I’m perfectly fine.”

“Who’s gonna tell him he was losing his shit just a few minutes ago?” Knuckles whispers, which earns him a jab on his chest by Amy’s elbow.

#tehehehe yippeeee #this does remind me a bit of a chaox fic but:(this is not plagiarism i prommy #also . this was supposed to take a different turn #but here we are #hope you enjoy #sonic forces #hurt and comfort prompts #my ramblings #my fics #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #knuckles the echidna #sth #sonic fic #fanfiction #long post

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saint-siren · 1 year

Text

A World For Her Alone | Things lost, things beloved

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

cw (chapter specific): murder, misogyny, infidelity, forced marriage, suicide

pairing: claude x fem!reader

summary: The aftermath of loss takes its toll and with the walls closing in, reader is left with one choice. Whether she knows it or not.

author's note: Felix is reader's knight! How fun! Boy, I sure hope nothing bad happens in this one!

The sunlight was blinding as soon as your eyes opened yet again and you were hit with a horrid feeling of loss. Seconds ago you were hearing your child’s cries, just moments ago. You had lost them. The realization of that sunk in slowly, as slow as the seconds had gone while you had given birth. You were stumbling before you knew it and the world turned on its side before you caught yourself on the table.

“What’s the matter?” Claude said, looking at you with those weary eyes and that wry smile you were all too familiar with.

“Where are they?” You muttered.

“Sister?” Diana looked at you with her wide eyes full of unease.

“Where is my child?” You could have screamed if only you were strong enough.

Upon seeing your sweet sister’s guileless face, you were seized with a grief bigger than any you had ever known. You grasped her shoulders tightly, squeezing her and looking deeply into those eyes which did not rebuke you nor show guilt.

“You took them from me, didn’t you? It wasn’t enough for you to have him, you wanted the only thing…” You didn’t even finish your ranting before Claude had pulled you off, gripping your arm harshly enough to bruise.

“You don’t have a child yet. No one has taken anything from you,” He uselessly explained, in a disgruntled voice suppressing anger.

You wilted under his grip immediately, tears springing to your eyes as you pulled away. “Please, help me…I–” Your mouth could not find the words to accurately relay the pain you were in. No matter how wanted, no matter how loved, that child would be lost to you forever. And you did not even see their face, all you had to hold onto was the golden hair of a man who looked down at you now with contempt.

You teetered away from the table, nearly falling before Felix, your knight, caught you.

“I’m afraid my lady isn’t feeling well, I’ll see her to her room,” He said simply. His speech was lacking the proper consideration for Claude’s status but he didn’t seem to be concerned. Before Claude or Diana could respond, he was walking off with you.

“You left me, Felix. I was alone.”

“Never, my lady. It is my duty to be at your side” He refuted quietly.

“I never held them...Who did they give my child to? Claude wasn’t there. You weren’t there.”

“I will always be there to protect you, my lady. I have sworn it so.” You had no idea why he was even entertaining your delusions, but he patiently responded as if he didn’t consider you insane although you knew it was just to placate you. In consideration of your feelings.

“Why would you give me your hand in those moments if you knew you wouldn’t be there when I needed it the most?”

“My lady, I promise that I will be there whenever you need.”

“But you cannot. You cannot save me.”

That quieted him. There was worry in his eyes, something rarely seen. Although you refuted his attempts to calm you, the kindness still brought tears to your eyes when you were alone. A bit of comfort could feel like heaven. A drop of clean water while you had waited in your cell could have tasted like the nectar of the gods then. You would have wept then, too, if only there had been such mercy as you were receiving now.

Your father barred your window. No matter your attempts to assure him that you hadn’t gone insane, he refused to believe them. You were not allowed to leave your room save for going to the library and even so, your knight was to stand inside at all times instead of at the door. All the while, Claude was still visiting the manor. Only this time, exclusively to see Diana.

“My lady, Lord Claude is with Lady Diana again.” Felix brought the information to you with a restless tone as if displeased.

“Ah yes, he’s keeping her company…” You murmured emotionlessly.

“He does so quite frequently without even seeing my lady, will you not say anything to Lady Diana?” He was almost pleading.

“It can’t be helped even if I say something. He is the one who goes to her, mother and father abide the visits as well,” You said, resigned. It couldn't be helped, you told yourself again and again. It seemed like the truth, no matter what feelings bloomed whether yours or Claude's, the path to marriage would remain imminent. What cause was there for your parents to care? Especially if it made Diana happy. “Do you know why it is that my father put bars on my bedroom windows and has you stand at my side constantly now?”

Felix did not answer. “It isn’t because he thinks I’ll hurt myself. It’s because he’s afraid that I will escape.”

“My lady…” He frowned, his brow furrowing.

That much was the truth. Your father wouldn’t be concerned for something as insignificant as your life. It was about making sure that you completed your duties. You wondered, in your past life, had he cared that you died? Most likely not, since you had already given Claude his precious heir and no honor or expense had been lost to the family.

In stillness and quiet, you could still hear your child’s cries. It was so miserable a sound you wanted to claw at the walls and the ground as if it would open up and let you see them again. But your eyes caught Felix’s and remembered the feeling of comfort yet again. You could have drowned in those eyes, you wanted to lose yourself to them and feel nothing. You did. For a time.

It was raining the night you ran away from home. You had asked Felix to take you away. Hand in hand you went into that miserable night and disappeared, relieved to finally be entirely unseen. There was no way the two of you could return to your lives, the two of you would bear each other as long as you were on the run. No longer noble, no longer a knight, the two of you still remain liege and vassal. Felix, until the end, protected you.

But the matter of a missing noble bride to be was a massive affair, it was the loss of many hardwon assets. One that prompted the use of knights scouting their whereabouts. And a house as influential as Claude’s had no shortage of help. Knights spread throughout the country and truly it was only a matter of time before you were found. In the end, it hadn’t been more than a few weeks.

Felix, a knight who dishonored himself with the crime of stealing away the bride of a noble house, was killed on sight. Without comrades, a single sword against many, he was done in quickly. Not without blood which splattered lightly on your dress and leaked onto the ground in a pool that ran from the downpour. Over without a flinch from the hand holding the sword.

You yourself were brought back, despite the enormous scandal. When the knights who apprehended you brought you to Claude’s manor, you sat before his mother.

“Everyone has unavoidable duties, every occupation has its purpose. That knight fulfilled his, I suppose, dying for his master.” She laughed lightly as if it were only a foolish thing he’d done.

“It’s true that you were the one learning the skills necessary for your station,” She continued. “But our house was always the one who bore the burden of your education. Did you think these things meant nothing? The tutors, the books, the tools, they were worth money — money that our house invested on the condition of your marriage.”

“Not only did we invest our wealth, but our time. What has it been, 13 years to make you a marchioness? You must understand, my daughter-in-law, you cannot be replaced.”

Her words echoed in your mind. She was right, it was the only reason to accept a woman who’d run off with another man back into her position. A bride was too valuable an asset to lose, let alone one who had been readily imbued with the knowledge necessary. No. Of course they wouldn’t have let her be. And of course they couldn’t let Felix live, in fear that you’d already eloped with him and your very important marriage would be made invalid. From that standpoint, you understood. But you couldn’t stop seeing Felix’s body, trampled on and mangled, disregarded in the aftermath. As if he were nothing at all.

Soon after that, you had been permitted a visit from a girl about as young as you. She looked to be the daughter of a merchant from her clothing, too intricate to be simply commoner clothing and too modest to be noble. She was lovely, with blue eyes and brown hair, wearing what was not quite mourning garb. It looked to be a normal style of dress made black, without a veil or gloves.

“I was Felix’s fiance,” She began, looking at you through hateful eyes. “We were going to get married once things had settled down with you. I told him that I’d wait, no matter how long it was, I was prepared to be his wife in time. Did you ever think he had someone?” This woman could not even wear proper mourning attire because they were not yet wed when Felix was killed. Their relationship did not fall under those worth mourning, because according to etiquette, they did not yet have one. They were two young people waiting to become part of each other’s lives officially.

You couldn’t offer useless sorries, your mouth would not form words.

“What a tragedy Felix was dealt, having you as his lady,” She spat, paying no mind to the tears rolling down her face as she wrung her handkerchief in anger. Why had you not considered that Felix had obligations of his own? A marriage must have surely been struck between his family and hers as was not uncommon in wealthier common and lesser noble families. You had taken Felix’s pity for something more than the loyalty that it was. He took your hand and helped you to escape because you were the lady he chose to obey. You had made him flout his duties with no consideration.

You had wept as you walked down the aisle, the wedding had been moved up in light of the scandal. They did not want to give you even half a chance to run away again. Silent tears fell as you gazed with eyes as lifeless as a doll’s, at the altar.

“Why are you the one crying when I’m the one who was betrayed?” Claude had remarked sharply at your tears, certainly disgusted though he did not show it. The onlookers and witnesses of your wedding were there to gawk at the mess of a girl who tried to run away and cheat her fiance on her promise.

After the wedding, you had been left alone finally by Claude who reviled you and your in-laws who had been satisfied to see the wedding had gone through. You could not function as the marchioness, not with the guilt weighing on you on top of everything. Nothing had changed for the better, you had added new problems to the ones you already had. The image of blood being washed away by rain, mixing into mud, haunted you. It had rained the day of your wedding too. And had you simply imagined that it had every day since? The storm sounded like wailing, like that of a newborn.

You tore the sheets with your teeth and wove them into makeshift rope.

tags: @kage-tobiuo @kreishin @rosephantomhive @yeahdrarry @splaterparty0-0 @dear-dairiess @qluvrv @hafsuhhh @eissaaaa @ayolk @doan-19 @fourcefulcupid @ariachaos @cerisearan @irisspade @yaesflorist @jcrml @xiaosprettygf @yevenly @amaris08atoshi012022 @obsessed-with-a-fictional-man softbummiee

#claude x diana #claude de alger x reader #claude x reader #wmmap claude #claude de alger obelia #wmmap x reader #wmmap fanfic

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pensat-i-fet · 1 year

Text

A familiar face (Rúben Dias x Reader)

**I found this on my drafts and thought it could work for the request I got of writing something that involved some cute interactions with kids. I can try something else in the future if this isn’t good enough. And I hope everyone enjoys it anyways!! ❤️❤️**

Word count: 2512

Masterlist

Wattpad

“Auntie, please!!”, I hear my niece begging for the 20th time in the last two minutes.

“Leah, leave your aunt alone. If it was just you it’d be fine, but you can’t ask her to babysit your entire friend group”, I hear my brother say.

My niece Leah got tickets to go watch the next Manchester City match from one of her friends. She and two more friends want to go but neither my brother nor his wife can go to the match with them. So she wants me to take three kids with me to a stadium where there’ll be thousands of people. And a lot of them will be half-drunk by 3 pm.

“Richie’s dad can come with us. Pleaaaaase!”

The idea of taking so many kids to a match terrifies me, but seeing the tears in my 8-year-old niece's eyes is a lot worse.

“Ok, I’ll take you”, I say to her.

“You sure?”, asks my brother. But it’s too late to change my mind. I’ve already been tackled to the floor by Leah.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

And that’s how I find myself driving three kids and an adult I have never met before to the Etihad on a Sunday.

“Don’t worry about them too much”, tells me Richie’s dad. “I’ll keep them in check. You enjoy the match too”.

The seats are in the fourth row. I’ve been to the Etihad before but never in such great seats.

Leah, Richie and Amanda sit in between Richie’s dad and me, to make sure we can keep an eye on them more easily.

“Auntie! Can we get some food?”, asks Leah when the players are coming out to do their warm-up.

“Sure, what do you guys want? Also, what are you guys allowed to eat?”

To that, Richie’s dad laughs. “Burgers and fries should be fine. Maybe something sweet for the second half if everyone behaves, ok?”

They all nod and I move to go back inside and get the food for everyone.

When I get to the lower area of the stands, I turn to look at the pitch before heading to the stairs. The players are all divided into three groups, each doing a different type of exercise to warm up.

Before I turn again to leave, I notice one of them looking at where I am. I look behind me to see who he might be looking at and find no one. But when I look back at him, he’s gone.

“Here you go”, I say, trying to give everyone their food and not drop it. It was a struggle to bring it all back by myself.

“Thanks!!”, they all say in unison. They really want those sweets.

“Auntie”, says Leah, “who is your favourite City player?”

“Um…not sure, to be honest. I haven’t had the chance to watch them a lot this year but I guess De Bruyne is still a good answer, right?”

“Yes!!”, screams Richie, who is wearing his De Bruyne shirt.

“I like Mahrez”, says Amanda.

“Great choice!”, tells her Richie’s dad. “What about you Leah?”

“I would usually say Bernardo but I think I like Rúben Dias better today”.

“Why is that?”, I ask her.

“Because he’s going to give me his shirt after the match”.

I look at her confused. Where is she getting those ideas from? I don’t want her to think it’ll happen and then be sad when it doesn’t.

“Maybe he will, yes. But if he doesn’t it’s ok”, I say.

“No, I know he will”.

“Leah…”

“She’s right”, says Richie’s dad, surprising me. “He told her he would while you were gone”.

Now I really am confused.

When the teams go out to start playing, I lean down and whisper to Leah. “Which one is Dias?”

I really haven’t been watching them in the last couple of seasons. I’m not super familiar with the new players.

“Number 3. He’s looking at us right now”, she says, pointing at one of the players.

When I look up, I see she’s right. And I see that it’s the same player I saw looking my way before.

The match ends with a 3-0 win for City. And by that time, I’m more than ready to go home. The kids have been good, but they are a lot of work.

I’m so tired I actually forget about Leah and her deal with Dias. But she hasn’t forgotten, of course. And neither has he.

He approaches our area, pointing at Leah and asking her to come closer. She grabs my hand and runs downstairs.

“Hi, what’s your name?”, asks her Rúben.

“Leah. And this is my auntie”.

When she says that, he looks at me and I don’t really know what to do anymore. Not only is he ridiculously good-looking, but he also has one of the most beautiful smiles I’ve ever seen. And he’s directing that smile at me right now.

“Hi”, he says to me.

“Hi”, I say back, surprised I managed to get a word out.

“So, can I have your shirt?”, asks Leah, interrupting the moment.

“Of course”, he says, giving Leah another smile. A different type of smile, though.

When he takes his shirt off, I try to look away. I’ve always had a thing for tall and strong men like him.

“Did you enjoy the match?”, I hear Rúben say. And when I look at him, I realise the question is directed at me, not Leah.

“Yes. It was great. You were all great”.

“Auntie, we need to go. Richie’s dad is calling us”.

I turn to make a gesture to Richie’s dad, letting him know we’ll be there in a second. And then turn back to Rúben, who is still there, looking at me.

“Thanks for the shirt. We have to go”.

“Right”, he says, looking unsure of himself all of a sudden. “I hope I get to see you, both of you, at another match”.

And with that, he runs to join his teammates. What did just happen?

Working at a bookstore is a bit of a dream for me. I get to be surrounded by books and get a discount when buying them. And of course, I buy way more than I should. I love chatting with customers about the novels they want to buy and helping them discover some hidden gems. I even advised my bosses to create a "staff recommends" shelf where we could put all our favourites so customers could ask us about them. And it's definitely helped increase the sale of some more unknown books.

I am on that shelf now, talking to a lady about why the book Stephanie recommends will be great for her grandchildren. Once I've convinced the lady to buy not only that first book but the second and third in the series too, Steph herself comes to the area where I’m working at the moment with an annoyed look on her face.

"Something wrong?", I ask.

"It's madness down there", she sighs. "There is someone famous and people are fighting to get photos taken with him".

"Someone famous?", I ask, curious as to who could come to our little shop. "Like, an author?"

We sometimes get authors coming to the store to sign some of their novels, so that's my first thought.

"No, I don't know who he is but even the children are going mad".

"That's intriguing. How about you stay here and I go to your place so I can see this famous guy. Now I'm curious", I laugh.

"Go ahead. I'm not coming downstairs until he leaves. Two kids stepped on my feet to get to him", says Steph, rubbing her feet with a painful look.

"I'll be careful", I say with a chuckle while I make my way downstairs.

I'm not even halfway down when I see him. The guy everyone wants a photo with is none other than Rúben.

I freeze and just stare at him, smiling and taking photos with everyone. Being particularly cheerful for the adoring children.

"Sorry, miss, I need to go downstairs", I hear being said behind me. When I turn around, I see a woman waiting for me to move since I'm blocking the stairs.

"Of course, sorry. You go first", I tell her, moving to the side.

I move to Steph's checkout area, trying not to look at Rúben. And trying to control my nerves.

"Hello?"

When I hear the voice, I look up from the computer to find Rúben staring at me, with five books in his hands.

"Hi. Can I help you?", I say, trying to remain professional and not show my shock at him being here. He won't even remember me anyway.

"I would like to pay for these", he says with a smile. He's even closer than he was at the match. And he's even more gorgeous dressed in an all-black outfit than he was with his sky blue City kit.

"Of course", I say before I start to scan the books. "This one is great", I say, noticing he picked one of my recommendations from last month.

"I'll have to read that one first then", he says, making me look at him again. He seems to be looking at my face trying to find something there. So I look down again, nervously.

"Do you have a loyalty card?"

"I do but I don't have it with me now".

"Oh that's ok", I tell him. "Just tell me your phone number and I'll find your profile in our system".

When I find it, I look up at him and ask. "Rúben, right?"

"Yes. But you already knew that".

"I'm sorry?", I say, shocked by his comment.

"We talked at the match the other day when I gave my shirt to your niece. I know you know who I am", he says, laughing at my expression.

"Right. Yeah. Um…I did not expect you to remember me", I say, blushing fiercely. "There were thousands of people there".

"Yes, but some faces are easier to remember than others", he says, leaning closer.

When I look into his eyes, I lose the sense of time and place for a second. Until I start to notice how long the line behind him is.

"Um…right. Are you paying with card or cash?"

"Card, please".

"Of course, it's ready now".

"You know", he says while entering his pin number in the machine, "since you know my number now from the loyalty card, maybe you could use it to let me know more book recommendations".

What?

"I don't think I'm allowed to use the client's private information for personal purposes", I tell him putting his receipt in his bag and giving it to him.

"You got my permission to do it", he says with a big smile. "Bye, hope to see you soon. It was nice to find a familiar face here today".

"Bye…thanks for…umm…the purchase", do I know words?

He just smiles again and leaves. I turn slightly to watch him walk to the front door when I hear a throat being cleared.

Right, I'm still at work. I forgot for a second.

“Sorry, sir. How can I help you?”

A couple of days later, I’m putting some new releases on the shelf when I hear Stephanie approaching and talking to someone else.

“Yes, there she is! She’ll be able to help you��.

“Thanks”.

I turn to look at who’s talking to find Rúben looking at me, a big smile on his face.

“You didn’t give me those book recommendations I asked for, so I had to come back to get them. The book you told me was good was incredible. I read it in one sitting”.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it”, I tell him, moving away from the mountain of books I still need to sort out. “But…this feels a bit stalkerish. No offence!”

He just laughs and raises his hands.

“I get it. It does. But I swear I didn’t know you worked here. That was a coincidence. A great one, I might add”.

To that, I look down to hide my blush.

“So”, he continues, “can you recommend more books to me or not?”

“Sure, that’s what I’m here for. Let me tell one of my colleagues to continue sorting this pile before”.

"Were you looking for some romance?", I say, pointing at the first section we walk past.

He looks at me with a small smirk on his face. I guess he got the double meaning. "Maybe, but not in my books".

"You don't fancy reading about a hot Duke that will make you swoon?", I say, holding a copy of Bridgerton.

"Not today", he laughs.

"Yeah, not my thing either".

"What type of books do you like?", he asks me.

"Literary fiction, fantasy, maybe some romance…it depends on my mood, really. I even read horror sometimes. Even though I'm a baby who can't watch horror movies".

"I might be interested in horror. But I'll need someone to hold my hand while I read in case I get scared".

When I turn to look at him, I notice how close he is.

"You've got plenty of big teammates that can do that for you I think".

He laughs. "Not what I had in mind".

Twenty minutes later, I walk Rúben to the checkout so he can pay for all the books he’s buying today.

“Do you have a piece of paper?”, he asks.

“Sure”.

“Ok, here is my number. I gave it to you. And I want you to use it, ok?”

“I don’t know. I…”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No”, I say.

“Girlfriend?”

“Not one of those either”.

“So would you like to come on a date with me?”, he says.

As always, I want to overthink this. But what is it to overthink? A handsome, nice and smart guy wants to go on a date with me.

“Yes”, I say, smiling at him.

“Perfect. Then text me your number and we’ll talk more about it”.

I nod, giving him his bag full of books.

“Do you actually want all those books or did you just buy them to have an excuse to talk to me?”

“Oh, I want them. But it’ll take me a year to read all of these. Another trip to try to woo you and I’ll have enough books to last me my entire life”, he says, blushing slightly.

I laugh at his words and say goodbye to him.

When I turn back to go upstairs and finish the job I was doing, Stephanie stops me.

“That’s the famous guy from the other day”, she says.

“Yes”.

“And he was flirting with you the whole time. How do you know famous people? And what does he even do to be famous?”

“Footballer. I met him when I took Leah to a match”.

“Shut up! Are you dating a football player?”

“I’m not dating anyone”, I laugh.

“He looked like he’d be happy to change that”, she winks before leaving.

I guess he did.

#ruben dias #ruben dias imagine #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias fluff #ruben dias x yn #ruben dias fanfic #ruben dias one shot #ruben dias fanfiction #footballer imagine #footballer x reader #footballer fluff #footballer fanfiction #foootballer fanfic #footballer one shot

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maria-eve-falcon · 1 year

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I think she understood his anxieties, you can hear in her songs over the years and I think just from what we know of her as a person... I think she got tired of waiting for him to do something and decide what he wanted in his life... And you can say that him not deciding has to do with his anxieties, but I think she understood him and just waited as long as she could...

sorry I didn't answer early.. I had this answer in my mind but I was(am) to0 tired.

precaution : it's gonna be long and there will be out of this particular topic disclosure because idk why a box inside was opened by this

so.. while I get people when they say she waited too long (bit skeptical) we can't blame anyone (this is making me cry wow parasocial much?) and:

they both of mental issues as we know . god knows what was their position in times. normal people without any issues (almost everyone has issues cause 'perfect' is just not a thing) can't commit easily , famous people with issues having a hard time is really normal. commitment is big. it's not just a piece of paper (imo)

I can't blame joe at all here. cause look at the position he was in. his career kickstarted and he was with her. something very unsimilar with her other exes. so, he doesn't have a career close to the people that debuted with him / close to the time he did i.e liz debici (they won a chopard together ) . he doesn't have enough press (lmfao billy lynn had the record for most press(if not collectively) with him until recently ), nominations and stability what so far judging that he is a decent actor (you can disagree for sure but he IS a decent actor objectively (even when miscast) )

I understand he doesn't want fame and hoards of money doesn't mean he doesn't want a stable career ( while tay's is 740 million a year! that's a load even after paying for everyone and everything! (idk why I pointed this out) )(acting is not a stable career choice it self but I bet he wants to have some kind of stability before at least marriage) AND he has to calculate his every word and action since the beginning .

this is gonna sound mean but do you think tay's position screams suitable for marriage and babies? I'm sorry but she is the position (was before the tour too!) where she literally is on top of the world ! ( yeah I wrote this after the people's article so I'm angry) to get married now and gain a load of attention FOR IT, is sure to be overwhelming for an actor like joe who grew up pretty normal. posh , but normal. I'm sorry but she hasn't step down at all! (not her fault but.. not his either)

considering everything I just pointed out lame excuses (this is gonna get ugly so buck up) what about her picking fights? (when you are in love, you fight but don't pick them?! ) for example afterglow, false god. she even said she knows it's her fault but wants HIM to apologize first. (i'm a person who used to always apologize first and boy, at a point you don't care and distance yourself from those who keep making ya do that (that's how my rtl with my 8 year long bestie ended, fucking exhausting I tell ya) ) ALSO when SHE broke HIS heart first! sorry but my man is human!

ok , fuck all I said . even judging by ylm , I'm assuming with pressure to work on his career or not he couldn't read her mind cause surprise! he is human! they just needed to talk about where they were or what she actually wanted but clearly she didn't understand that.

also about letting go. do you really think a woman who is still writing songs about jm (something that happened 13 years ago) AND INDICATING ENOUGH THAT IT'S ABOUT HIM KNOWING WHAT HER FANS ARE LIKE , going as far to dress up like she was in the vma's literally a decade ago and announcing her new album on the bday of some guy's ex wife (who every one is done dragging for the last 3 years) on mtv music awards is letting go? that thing icked me soo hard . what is growing up is confusing to me since midnights announce. she needs to stop these little clues to diss people that are perfectly fine with their lives and don't care at all! it just shows she loves dragging things and can't let go or be cool about it after soo many years!(nothing else!) and worst part is she makes it obvious that it's about them. now it has come to the point where it is just a stupid topic for everyone to make fun of. her pain surrounding jm and kanye has been dragged for soo long by none other than her and her fans that either people just roll their eyes and move on or it's just a joke atp!!!!!!!!!!!!

tl;dr : I just made 7 points of why joe might have not proposed to her and was stressing about doing so.

#taylor swift #swiftwyn #life

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sashi-ya · 2 years

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i saw your new event and absolutely lost it! (Ran over to make a tumblr acc since i've been reading in browser 😭)

I'd like to request maybe a smutty demon!law and kitsune!f!reader, with your choice of kinks. If you do take this request I'm delighted to see with what you come up with!

Have a nice day and don't overwork yourself! 💚

Hiii baby!! I'm so happy you made an account just to request!! 🥺💖 So, because I loved this idea I had to write it :3 I hope you enjoy it! Thank u for requesting and taking part in this event! 💜

𝑵𝒔𝒇𝒘 ~ 𝑫𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒏! 𝑻𝒓𝒂𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒈𝒂𝒓 𝑳𝒂𝒘 𝒙 𝑲𝒊𝒕𝒔𝒖𝒏𝒆! 𝑭! 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 ~ 𝑹𝒆𝒅 𝑳𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔

➡ Tw: nsfw. feral fucking, kitsune yokai reader with ears and tails, but human fem body. Law is a demon, the inked demon. Red Light district concept for this au. fingering. public. degrading. vag. cream pie. biting. mentions of blood and death. ➡ wc: 2.1k ➡ Want more? visit the masterlist

Her tail, and her fluffy ears. Her tail, and her fluffy ears…

His tongue against his teeth, he is thirsty. He is thirsty, and hungry. And when her fluffy little ears bounce, his crotch feels hard. So hard. Drinking sake by the hand of inferior demons will not sooth his need, and he has to do something...

Demons based off lust, can’t stop themselves from attacking their preys. They need, they crave the body that’s making his wholeness aroused. Demons can’t help it, and that little yokai kitsune is making the inked demon fall into an irreversible state.

He stands up, walking towards her. She is talking with his friends, lower class demons. But he is a king right there, and he must be obeyed. Long claws snatch the kitsune yokai wrists and turns her around…

“You, yokai… you are making me aroused. I need to fuck you” Law, the demon tells you. Your cute little ears twitch to the sound of those words and you blink a few times. Finally, a demon… a real high-class demon, those like him that you should service, those to whom you have to bow when they enter your pleasure house.

The crimson lights of the red district flicker as his breathing becomes agitated and hastily. He has been drinking sake in company of many yokais around… but he has been watching at you, a sweet kitsune.

“Ye-yes… demon Law” you answer, smiling warily… are you sure you can take this beast? You can only know if you try….

Law smirks, his demonic stare makes you shiver. Your tail answers to such interaction, it wiggles subtly and slowly. Your unholy side is taking over, and yet, you are sure not even your full potential could match the sinful fiendish demon Law holds.

“I’m waiting…” he demands, already annoyed because you are taking too long to tell him in which room he will fuck you. “If you don’t hurry, I will fuck you right here and everybody will see you scream from my cock”

Your mouth opens, forming and O gape. In awe, you stutter. You knew Law was this way, because you have heard your friends screaming when he fucks them inside the rooms… but you never thought he was so violent and demanding.

And, as he said it’s just how it is. He pushes you against the wall, in front of everybody there. His body presses you hardly, your cheek squeezed against the cold cement, and your tail moving faster against his crotch.

Law’s pointy nose buries on the fluffy side of your right ear. He sniffles your essence, and you could swear that that was something only yokai and tengu do, but apparently human demons are also as beasty as you.

“Ugh… smells nice” he moans, and it’s the only thing you can hear. The whines and amazed giggles of your colleagues around disappear for you but surely are still there. “Heh, you all wanna see how I fuck this little fox?” Law says, already ripping your kimono off.

He keeps smelling you, from your ears to your neck. Law gloats at you, Law enjoys your little squirms under him. A kimono barely covering his inked body, those black lines that carve patterns on his caramel skin, the silver eyes that shine like the moon you are all devoted too, and the wings that garnish his back… His claws carving marks on the wall at each side of your head, little groans as your tail now moves side to side grazing energetically his hardness.

“Keep doing that, little fox…” he moans, and carves his teeth on your shoulder. You whimper in pain, but still love it. “Ugh… you little yokais are so tender, and those little whimpers you do” he sinks in his own lustful desires.

Every worker of the pleasure house is there, such demonstration, like a show, is not proper of demon Law, but still, it’s amazing to be able to witness.

Law squeezes your cheeks in between his thumb and index. Moving your head to the side, he makes you see the many people that are staring at you. “Look at them, you want them to see how I lift that tail of yours and fuck you?” the demon asks, perversely, out of himself. Law is usually a lot calmer and more logical, but apparently you have captivated him…

“I- I don’t care- demon Law” you whine, because frankly you only want that man to fuck the life out of you. Now. “Who would say kitsunes were that slutty? You should be called a bitch instead of a fox. Alright, open your legs and let me use that little cunt of yours”

Your body shivers at such statement but does even more when his fingers get to your sex from behind. He spreads your folds and plays with the strings of wetness. “Look at you, almost dripping. Are you in heat, huh?” he laughs sarcastically, Law enjoys every inch of this.

“See? All of you? This is how slutty a fox is. Bet you are all as wet as her. Go fuck yourselves or something” Law says, lifting his hand up and showing everybody the dampness that gives his fingers a shiny cape but sending them off the place. And that’s when you know exactly the real deal is about to start.

Nobody can say anything, and even if they take a little more than the rest they all leave. You don’t mind and can’t help but lift your ass, so Law keeps touching you. “More? You want more?” he laughs, and you wiggle your tail, that is now resting over his firm abs.

You purr, more like a kitty rather than a fox, because of course you want more, sure you do. “Mhh yes please, demon Law…” you moan, dedicating a little smirk to your colleagues who are leaving the place.

Law does the same and lifting your tail he inserts his middle and ring finger inside you. Beckoning motions, perfect ones, making you mewl, and your legs to become weak and shaky. In and out, the harder he moves, the more you bathe his hand with your arousal.

“You are probably really tight, that’s why you are squirting this much…” he mumbles with a medical knowledge like commentary. And you can’t disagree with him, you are, for sure, pretty tight for his size.

Law rejoices on the moans that scape your mouth, you accompany his increasing motions in and out of you, your claws also carving the wall in front of you. “p-please” you beg, you want to finish, you need it.

“Look at those cute cheeks, all flustered… fluffy kitsunes are so cute!” the inked demon, a demon who likes to devour the hearts of victims himself rips off their chests, says. “Come on, turn around. I want to fuck you”

He turns you around, violently and showing you how his shiny fingers are now being sucked by himself. “Delicious” he mumbles, with that classical sexy smirk that usually garnishes his face. You tremble, your lips too. Your teeth chatter, and immediately you close your legs because going from almost coming to him taking his fingers out, leaves you in painful need.

“Don’t close your legs, fox” he commands, opening them with his knee. His fingers now get inside your mouth, one, two, three of them pushing your tongue down. They go violently in, the sharp nails of his hands carving marks inside and even making you gag as they reach for the back of your mouth.

Law makes you stick your tongue out, he likes your raptured expression, he enjoys the way little strings of saliva drip from it. “That’s it, dumb and savage like a little animal” he devilishly says looking you up and down with superiority and scorn.

At this point you are becoming feral, the so needed release is being delayed by the demon… what an awful behaviour, to let a little yokai suffer, to tease it, to leave it panting and aroused to the extreme…

Your wild side takes over, pushing the demon in front of you. You bump on him with so much strength that it makes him fall back. Law’s face tints in surprise, he lays over the floor with legs semi spread allowing you to see his growing erection from under the almost open silks of his kimono.

“I WANT YOUR DICK INSIDE OF ME” you demand, well aware of being way weaker than him and yet letting your wild side to speak for you. Law lets a scoff laugh out, and his eyes turn from silver to red, pure red.

You, however, even if you are sure you will be left with a whole in your chest, jump over his lap. “Fuck me, demon” you purr in his ear, humping over his hard erection.

“Very well, you little scum” he answers back, lifting your hips up just to untie his clothing. Hard, reddish, and also inked in pure black his dick stands so ready for you to jump on it. And as it should be done, you do. A loud whine resonates all around the place as you let him impale you. You can’t wait and begin to move, up and down, back, and forth.

It was indeed true that you were tight for him, and him as well as you, enjoy they way your walls clench to his shaft. Pulsating both sexes, you jump brutally and carve your nails over his shoulders.

Law grunts and throws his head back with open mouth to the motions of your hips. Motions he also accompanies by clenching to your ass to lift you and push you down. Deep, deep he wants to go. Deeper, even more.

Your fangs grace the side of his clenched jaw, drooling to take a bite to his pulsating carotid on his neck. “Don’t you dare bite, filthy animal” Law scolds you in between pants. It is well known, that, just as demons can eat any other inferior creatures, yokai are ferocious when losing their cool… and arousal can make them go untamed, to the point of ripping arteries, and drinking the blood of their victims.

“Keep fucking me the way you do, I won’t hurt you demon Law” you moan, taming yourself by focusing on the way you begin to squirt the base of his dick while he pumps in and out of you harder each time. Law is also getting there, and he can’t control himself either.

“I’m not scared of you hurting me, but I don’t wanna have to rip your heart off before filling you up with my cum” he says, pushing you back and toping you. Your legs snake around his waist, trapping him to show Law how much you want your walls to be bathed by his release.

Sharp teeth that carve marks around your bitten nipples and a few slaps leave your cheeks burning and sore, but you enjoy them as much as his thrusts hit that perfect spot inside of you. Violence is driving the inked demon; he drools in pure concupiscence and feral instincts. Instinc to rip you in half, to break you and make you mewl louder each time. The muscles of his back move like a work of art, his shoulder blades protrude as he fucks you rougher and rougher.

Your walls spasming, milking his dick, show Law you are coming with tears in your eyes from such lustful and sinful overstimulation. And him, instead of stopping, he goes even faster and harder. Your back arches and his too, he looks down at you biting his lips, making you enjoy the amazing work of art of his chest and belly muscles over you.

“Cum, fox” he orders, as if it was really needed… You burst for him, clenching to his forearms, and burying your nails on his tattooed skin. A loud moan and the release of that pressure building up finally marks your orgasm.

Following you, he cums with a loud grunt. Guttural symphony to your ears, and the sticky balsam of his release filling your womb completely.

Law swears as you feel the twitching motions of his seed sprouting. Seed that overflows once he pulls his dick out, dripping from your core to your legs and into the ground beneath you. A dantesque picture of full sin in which demons live daily.

“I would come back soon, stay alive until I decide to eat your heart” Law says, wiping the rests of your orgasm over his crotch. “I think I like foxes better; little tight pussy and fluffy tail and ears apparently are my thing now”

And just as he leaves you there, probably sparing your life because of how good he felt fucking you, you watch him get dressed and walk away. His figure gets lost in between the crimson tinted fog of the Red District’s lights…

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thereraigoes · 9 days

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“how to make millions before grandma dies” through my own lenses.

these days, the internet is filled with people recommending this film to be added in everyone’s watch-list. 1) asian family themed 2) people said it’s tear jerking 3) it’s available at the nearest cinema from home— those three points intrigued me to give the film a toss to try. a moment after i went from the cinema, i know well that people who keep recommend this film is not lying at all.

reviewing a film is never my forte but this film makes me want to write something after watching it. i guess it’s the bond of similarity that this film has to me, especially i’m an asian as well.

i would like to give the five stars to,

the color grading.

i am always a big fan of films that have pretty color grading. htmmbgd has a really pretty, i would even say it’s the prettiest color grading from all the movies that i’ve watched lately. if you look closely toward color grading of each film, sometimes several places have its own colour— so does this film, somehow you can know exactly where the film is located just by looking at its color. i don’t really know how to describe it but when i saw that warm, sunny that sun can sting your skin but someplace is kind of shady.. somehow it really screams asia, and it feels so homey.

also a plus point that it is neither over saturated nor under saturated. it’s unpleasant to watch the artist’s skin look so orange where they are not meant to be a tangerine or look so grey where they are not meant to be someone who hasn’t eaten for a week.

it just.. chef kisses. a lot of scenes that show scenery around the setting and it doesn’t lessen the plot, it makes the audience know about the place without too much movement from the camera.

the sound choice.

it adds drama and spices to the films so much and without them, maybe people can survive this film without crying. it plays an important role as well to the plot since we know that m is known as a scaredy cat and amah’s lullaby is the one who relaxed him down and vice versa (i’m not mentioning that scene okay!)

“you can’t leave this cinema without crying buddies.. it’s okay you can cry, okay cry now” that would depict how the sound’s role in htmmbgd.

the plot.

i won’t say a lot about this but kudos to the filmmaker because it’s really good! the plot doesn’t always go like the audience prediction but somehow it’s relieving.. that’s just the same as how the real world does right?

the highlighted-scene and little details that i care for,

a heads up. i might mention some scenes and maybe some of them are spoilers to everyone who hasn’t watched it. so feel free to stop reading if you feel the spoilers are too heavy for you. i’ll try to lessen it!

amah’s paperbag

while watching the film, i realize that amah never wears a proper ‘bag’. we only see that she always wears paperbag that m always carries for. in my interpretation, it symbolizes the humbleness of amah. we know that amah only sells congee for living— three children and herself. those moneys that she get from is always prioritized for her children needs, not her needs— especially for secondary and the tersier one. if it’s enough to carry, then let it be. but we know, there lies a thing that meant a lot for her family inside it.

m and amah talks when m asked why amah always wanted to have a great land of cemetery for her soon.

i can’t help but cry in silence when this scene appears because it’s just so.. ironic. amah always wants to have her children coming together with her, even when she is passed away so she thinks if her children don’t want come when she is alive— a good cemetery would probably help her desire to have a nice gathering without an argument.

pomegranate and amah’s implicit love.

just like common asian themed poem, there will always be mom cutting fruit to symbolize mother love. but i never read (this could be i am the one who never find it, send me one if you ever read it!) a grandma who is cutting the fruit.

even for her own son, amah forbade him to eat the pomegranate because it was meant for m only. she has kept that pomegranate tree for years, water it everyday, cut the rotten branch, wrap the pomegranate with plastic so the caterpillar won’t eat it– she cares it just like she cares m.

even though amah is grumpy toward m (she knows since day one that m is hiding something from her), she still loves and cares for him.

“sons got the assets and daughter got the cancer”

i want to hug ma so bad. she is the most hardworking one between amah’s children yet she assumes that she never receives amah’s love. it just.. i want to hug her so bad.

and finally, the deeds.

i don’t really know about other families but mostly i reckon that this issue is really controversial. family can separate to each other because of this issue only, they highlight the importance of inherited parent’s wealth. i know it is their right to have it but neglecting the fact that their parents need their children’s time and only wanting their wealth is so sickening.

we know that m cares amah only for her deeds at the first but slowly he knows that it is not always about the deeds, it’s about cherishing the memory with her while it lasts.

it’s bearable that m is mad to know that soei is the one who got the house– i mean who doesn’t mad though if the one who got the house is the one who never helps to care about amah, never have a job and a burden to amah, even steal amah’s money. it happens commonly in asian family, my family as well. sometime i don’t really know what on their mind.

but through this, i realize that how old we are, our parents still look at us as a child. that’s why amah apprehends soei, she’s worried that if she doesn’t give soei her house then he could never solve all his problems.

but that mindset is a fatal flaw as well, by then we can see that soei only rely to his mother. he could never stand on his own. i’m relieved that m scolds for him even though soei is much older than him.

conclusion and rating from me, rai,

it’s worth to watch, at least once in a lifetime. you can always rewatch it though but beware running out of your eyecream because it really makes your eyes swollen right after you leave the cinema.

cherish everyone in your life while it lasts. don’t be so bitter to people, sometimes they need help but they are afraid to reach you out.

lastly, it’s a solid nine out of ten.

#how to make millions before grandma dies

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nabulsi · 1 year

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6. "are you really so oblivious?" for naz x cecilia 👀

hhhh thank you friend! I am still getting back into the groove of writing regularly. So I'm not super happy with this but here u go~

Cecilia and her big sister have v different ways of dealing with crises <3

Rating: T Pairing: Nayzak Sarhan x Cecilia du Mortain Word Count: 651

Nayzak sits, hands bound, surrounded by the bodies of at least a dozen Trappers. They are, mercifully, not dead. Lia had at least enough restraint not to murder anyone this time.

The vampire crouches before the human, donning an unimpressed expression. “What the fuck were you thinking tackling this alone?” She does away with the rough hemp ropes binding Nayzak’s arms and legs with her pocketknife.

“I was handling it just fine.” Nayzak shrugs the ropes off and gets to her feet. She pats down her dress.

“Yes, because my first choice to raid a Trapper hideout would be an elementary school teacher.”

“I wasn’t raiding them. I was spying—”

Lia scoffs, throwing her hand in the air. “You did a great job of that, didn’t you.”

Nayzak bristles, feeling her ears fill up with cotton. She shuts her eyes, dragging her cognitive functions by the leash to stop her words from failing her. However, Lia’s tone cuts her sharply and she feels stupid for trying.

“Bobby was on her way—”

“Bobby?” Lia laughs bitterly. “You are the most wanted human in this fucking town, and you insist on finding new and inventive ways to die.”

The words slip out of her hands like grains of sand, far too fast for her to catch. There is a dictionary’s worth of thoughts in her mind, if only she had the ability to comprehend them. Her frustration, helplessness, and embarrassment are as trumpets against her ears, muting all other noise. What she manages to say scratches but the surface of what screams behind her eyes.

“Then stop.”

“Stop what?” Lia turns around and leans over her.

“Stop coming to save me. You’re not an Agent. I’m not your responsibility.”

Lia’s honey brown eyes flash with something difficult to identify. The uncertainty sends Nayzak’s voice shrinking back into her body. She allows the vampire to eye her wordlessly. Yet, even in the silence, her senses are alive with the creaks and groans of the old warehouse. Her own heart thuds dully against her temples.

“Are you so convinced that there is no reason for me to come after you? To want to see you alive? To keep you safe?” Lia’s voice softens and she steps so close to Nayzak that she can feel the heat of her body against her own icy skin. “Are you really so oblivious?”

It is hard to look away from Lia’s face, as much as Nayzak wants to break the eye contact between them. Those eyes pin her in place.

“Oblivious to what?” she breathes. Tell me. Just say it. Frustratingly, she is incapable of saying the words.

Lia’s hand reaches for Nayzak’s hip, and she closes the distance between them. Her breath brushes against Nayzak’s ear. A jolt of warmth surges through her, making her body shudder. The feeling is electric, and she finds herself melting against Lia’s chest.

“You’re smart. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” Her tone is light and amused, and the lilt of her voice makes Nayzak’s insides twist into knots—makes all her fingers clench and toes curl up in her boots—makes her breath catch in her throat.

With that said, Lia starts to move away, the action sending a chill through Nayzak’s body. Whether it is instinct or a subconscious thought beating its way to the surface, Nayzak’s hand shoots out to pull the vampire’s hand back to her hip. “Lia, wait.”

A smirk spreads across Lia’s face. “What is it, dove?”

Nayzak moves a shaky hand up the front of Lia’s black hoodie. It burns on the way up and comes to rest in the curve of her neck. Lia waits for her to speak. They are so close that she has to arch her neck to meet the other woman’s gaze. Nayzak lifts herself up until their faces are scarcely inches apart.

“I think I understand now.”

#cecilia du mortain #twc cecilia #twc #the wayhaven chronicles #detective/cecilia #twc detective #twc fanfic #my writing #oc: nayzak #paptalk #galpalaven #kiana 💖#naz x cecilia

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skzhocomments · 6 months

Text

THE WHITE LILY (Mafia Book #1 - Bang Chan) - Chapter 6 - Nightmareless

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

General masterlist

Chapter 5 | Chapter 7

Let me know if you'd like to be on the taglist for this story or on the general taglist!

---

Chapter 6 - Nightmareless

chapter word count: 2.2k words

~1 year and 4 months before Present Day~

~Chan's POV~

~Flashback, 10 years ago~

"Channie, my boy... you're so young and yet-" The old man's speech was interrupted by a rough cough. "Yet there's no other choice for you out there. I wish- I wish I could've given you... more."

"Dad, I- no, you gave me so much, but..."

"I took over father's business when I was 32... much, much older than you are now. Double your age. Double your experience... Now you have to take over mine..."

"Dad, I don't know what you're saying-" I responded desperate, tears stinging the corners of my eyes.

"Son, listen to me!" he shouted, spiralling into another coughing fit. "you can't show any weakness. EVER. If you do, they will take you down with no hesitation. You have to be strong if you're going to own this wicked business of ours."

"I don't- I can't do it, dad. You have so much more left, I-"

"No, son, I'm almost..."

"Dad, stay with me! You will survive this! You have to!"

"My time is up... just remember what I told you... These emotions of yours, they are beautiful, son, but you can't let them see it. You have to stay composed, to be cold. So cold, one would be afraid to speak in front of you. No matter how hurt you are, don't let it show. Can you promise this to me?"

"I- I'll try... Fuck." I could barely see through my tears.

"But there's one thing you have to remember..."

"DAD! NO! PLEASE!"

"It's (...)"

~End of flashback~

"NO!" I woke up, screaming. My whole body drenched in sweat and hurting.

Another nightmare...

This cursed Mafia left in my care by my father was a big weight on my shoulders. I was damn good at leading it, but sometimes I would get stuck in an impasse, not knowing what decision is best. In those times, I would reflect back on my father's words, to the numerous days he spent training me... but as the years passed, his voice became a distant thing of the past. I was not even able to recall his whole dying speech.

Way to be a good son, Chris.

Occasional flashbacks would intrude my mind during night-time, rendering me unable to sleep. But never the whole picture... What else was he trying to say?

With a head heavy as lead, I got off the bed and glanced at the time: 3:52 AM.

Well, the early bird catches the worm, right?

I quietly opened the door to my bedroom and moved towards the stairs. Looking back through the dark hallway, I saw a dark silhouette heading towards me.

"Chan?" a shy voice asked, unsure.

"Emilia?"

"I heard the door opening and... What's wrong? You can't sleep?" she whispered.

"Should ask the same. Let's go downstairs, we don't want to wake up everyone else, do we?" I extended my hand towards her, which she quickly took.

We headed down to the living room and I turned on the electric fireplace, the only source of light in the room appropriate for such an unorthodox hour.

Fierce tones of orange and yellow warmed the room, giving it a cosy feel.

"Kinda rustic, don't you think?" Emilia joked. "Should I also brew some tea?"

"Wouldn't hurt to have a warm drink."

She returned 5 minutes later with two mugs. The smell of green tea soothed me, the hot liquid warming my insides.

"Didn't even realise I was so cold." Emilia broke the silence.

"Mhm. Me too."

Inspecting her face, I noticed dark bags under her eyes and a frown on her otherwise cheerful expression.

"Why couldn't you sleep?" I asked.

"It's... ugh" she shook her head. "Nevermind."

"Come on, don't be like that." I replied, getting closer to her on the couch and placing my hand on her thigh.

"... don't laugh at me, okay?" she replied quietly and turned her head towards me, scanning my eyes.

"Of course not."

"I just... I had a nightmare and couldn't go back to sleep..."

"You too?" I smiled and caressed the back of her head.

My reply seemed to take her by surprise, as her eyes grew bigger.

"Care to share?" she asked me.

"Only if you do the same."

She nodded and urged me to start my story.

"You know, Emi... I don't know how much you've heard about us before we became Stray Kids."

"Hm... not much, honestly. I just know you were called something else and that your older ruler was sort of... cruel."

"Mhm. That would be my father."

Although she seemed surprised, she didn't say anything else, waiting for me to continue.

"My father was a stern man. You could say he was rigid, even cruel at times, as you heard. But he was the best leader. We were called North Side, because he managed to take control of the whole north of the country. He would control authorities, which supplies got in and out, all trades, the politics. Everything. He was a scary man, to be honest." I chuckled, to which Emilia smiled.

"He would take good care of us... my mother and my siblings. But no matter how much power he had, he also had lots of enemies. It only took one person to betray him... poisoned him, like he was some rat. Got rid of my siblings like it was nothing."

Emilia felt the anger in my voice and grabbed my hand, squeezing it.

"He was my dad's closest ally. His right hand man. So, naturally, when I found out... I cut off his head, displayed it on a spike outside of the mansion as a warning to the others."

"Drew inspiration from Medieval England?" Emilia chuckled.

"Exactly." I chuckled, too. "That was the first time I killed someone. I was 15."

She caressed my hand and smiled bitterly.

"I had to take over the Mafia, but... how could I continue his "Empire"? I didn't know how anything worked. Don't get me wrong – he did train me for this, but theory and practice are so different. He would always make me promise that I would be cold, that I wouldn't get attached. Those worked wonders. But... he also said something else. I just can't seem to remember... I feel like it was important..."

"And that's why you're having nightmares."

"Exactly."

"So... how did you become SKZ?"

"Right. So, after investigating, I found out that a lot of father's old acquaintances planned this revolt against him. I killed them all and figured I would just disband North Side as a whole. There was barely anyone left, anyway. But it's not like I could just give up on the Mafia mindset. I trained my whole life up to that point. I was good at it. So... one thing led to another, and I was back in business with supervising trades and making sure things went by smoothly. I lost some of the territory of the Empire my father built, but I got control back of more than half of it in barely a year or two. Not alone, though. I met some other people along the way... first it was Seungmin, then Minho... Han and Felix shortly followed... and soon enough all of us bonded over this whole affair and decided we would become official. That's how Stray Kids was born."

"Wow. Well, I must say, your father taught you well, since you've been able to manage this Mafia so flawlessly."

"You think?" I chuckled. "I feel like I might screw up. That what my father told me was the most important thing in the world... and I can't remember it. I'm pissed off."

"I'm sure you'll remember it eventually. The right moment just hasn't come yet, that's all."

"Thanks, Emi."

We both looked at the fake flames of the fireplace, but soon enough I resumed looking at Emilia.

"I told you the root of my nightmares. What's yours?"

"Hmmm... you already know my whole life story though, don't you?"

"Pretty much, yea." I chuckled.

"Then you must also know about San."

"Your partner, right?"

"Mhm. Do you also know why he got killed?"

I shook my head.

"I didn't either. Until I came here, that is. He planned on leaving, too... He would always joke around that he would run away with me and show me the world outside of our little bubble. I just put the puzzle pieces together. Our Boss got rid of him, just like he wanted to do with me."

Her eyes darkened.

"The Mission he gives whoever wants to leave... It's always something impossible, you know? He probably planned to finish us off either way as soon as we said we wanted to go." she laughed bitterly. "If we wouldn't finish the mission, we would die trying... and if we did complete it, he would've killed us. We never had a choice."

I stayed silent, contemplating on her words for a bit, for they carried a lot of weight.

"So... the thing is, I'm scared... I can't sleep. I wake up shaking. Every time I close my eyes... I remember what happened to me. I'm scared of being betrayed again." She put both her hands on her face, covering her eyes.

I took her into a strong embrace, and started to tell her how different Stray Kids were. We wanted to be human beings above all, and we loved each other more than anything in the world. She was part of our team now.

"I can promise you that it won't happen. You are safe here. I give you my word."

She was shaking badly, but after a short while, her breathing regulated and she straightened her back.

"I'm sorry... it's just... I never told anyone about that, y'know?" she glanced at me, her beautiful eyes staring directly into mine.

Her wounds from our latest mission seemed to be all healed by now, just a small mark remaining on her lips.

Her lips... so plum and beautiful in the soft light. I couldn't help it. I bent towards her and placed mine on top of hers, cupping her face with my right hand.

She responded with a soft peck on my lips, while her hands found their way to my nape.

The kiss grew more passionate in the fire's glimmer, our shadows becoming one as she rested in my lap.

What's with this girl that makes me so crazy? I wondered, slipping my hands underneath her blouse. Her skin was as soft as the first time I touched her. I wished that bruises from our last rendezvous would still be visible on her neck and chest, but it felt like ages since I last met her like this.

I started kissing my way down her jaw and slowly sucked on her exposed collarbone, making her let out a soft moan.

Hearing her quiet whimpers was like music to my ears. I was completely addicted to the moans erupting from her lips, and I wanted to hear them more and more.

With her still on top of me, my next move was easy. I picked her up and got up from the couch, slowly making my way towards my room upstairs. Her weight in my arms felt just right.

We continued sharing kisses as I opened the door to the bedroom and laid her down slowly on my bed.

My hands found hers and, in contrast to the first night I tied her with my belt, I took both of her hands and put them above her head gently.

I didn't want to leave any part of her body unmarked, so I carefully lifted off her blouse and went down, planting small kisses on her abdomen. Her pants were the next ones to go, and I was pleasantly surprised when I saw that she wore nothing underneath.

I couldn't help it but let a chuckle escape.

"What's so funny?" she smiled.

"No panties?" I kissed her inner thigh as she parted her lips and let out another moan.

"Why would I wear any to bed?"

I trailed kissed on her thigh and reached upwards, parting her legs and planting a kiss on her core. Slowly, my tongue found her clit and drew circles around it, her whimpers getting more intense.

"Fuck, you're so good at this." She praised me.

After feeling that she was prepared to take me, I raised above her and kissed her deeply. My member quickly disappeared between her legs, our bodies moving in unison.

"You're so gentle tonight." She complimented me again, my lips in the crook of her neck kissing it ever so slowly while I was pumping in and out of her.

It only took another couple of deep thrust to get Emilia to come, and I followed soon after. She just felt so good. So right for me.

The next morning, I woke up, surprised to notice that I fell asleep in the first place.

Even more, I was perplex that it the first time in God knows how long I've slept without having nightmares.

I woke up rested, her still asleep in my bed, and had the chance to admire how beautiful she looked sleeping so soundly. I gathered from her relaxed face that she also had a nightmare-less deep sleep.

From then on, I would visit her every night and invite her to my room. We didn't always have sex; just sleeping next to her brought me a sense of peace I haven't felt once ever since becoming the leader of SKZ.

This became our routine, until...

---

Chapter 5 | Chapter 7

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