#and l have other stuff in my life I'd like to focus on

[rasby]

Here's an old Jucio doodle that i never posted to prove I'm not dead

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Lauren Bacall (To Have and Have Not, The Big Sleep, Key Largo)—"Just put your lips together...and blow" excuse me ma'am i'm briefly going to turn into a kettle. She's the quintessential Femme Fatale who may betray me in the end but I'd let her it'd be worth it

Gloria Grahame (It's a wonderful life, Oklahoma, Human desire, The Cobweb)—I'm just going to link to this Film Comment article by Donald Chase, who makes the argument more eloquently than I can, although I think Grahame's Ado Annie is more than just the 'flirtatious goofus' he offhandedly describes her as. Between that role and Violet Bick in 'It's a Wonderful Life" she's played two of cinemas best irrepressibly horny ladies. That would be legacy enough for our hot vintage queen, but she is also GLORIOUS in 'In a Lonely Place' and consistently pulls focus from her co-star Humphrey Bogart, famously one of the most charismatic leading men of his day. I think she had even more, and hotter, chemistry with him than he ever had with Lauren Bacall, which is saying a lot I know. Anyway, your honor I love her and I want her to win it all.

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Lauren Bacall:

"She is soooo neat. And hot. And everything. That one scene in To Have and Have Not where she says "you know how to whistle don't you? You just put your lips together and blow" altered my brain chemistry during media archaeology class and here we are."

"Lauren Bacall was a major lesbian awakening for me. Every picture of her makes it look like she’s about to destroy you physically and emotionally (why is that so hot, I may need help). She had incredible long running chemistry with her husband, Humphrey Bogart, but was an absolute star in her own right. I’ll never be over my crush on her."

"She's got that confident, no-nonsense air about her. She's a boss babe who knows what she wants and gets it DONE. Staunch liberal Democrat her whole life. Campaigned for RFK. From Wikipedia: "In a 2005 interview with Larry King, Bacall described herself as "anti-Republican... A liberal. The L-word". She added that "being a liberal is the best thing on Earth you can be. You are welcoming to everyone when you're a liberal. You do not have a small mind."" Beautiful hair. Beautiful eyes. Beautiful lips. She's just beauty. LISTEN TO HER VOICE. TELL ME THAT'S NOT THE STUFF THAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF."

"HER VOICE. Like yeah, she was absolutely stunning but oh my god, I'm obsessed with her voice"

"A gorgeous lady inside and out. One half of an absolute power couple with Humphrey Bogart, tended to him and other actors suffering from malaria whilst filming the African Queen, generally radiated grace and poise throughout her life. Also her last role was in Family Guy so she needs justice for that"

"The VOICE, the SLINK, the EYES. Woof."

"She was stunning. Tall and beautiful with a distinctive voice and able to carry her own in a male dominated field. She won the heart of millions, including one of Hollywood's most iconic leading men, Humphrey Bogart. Their story was the stuff of legends, and the chemistry between them was apparent in the multiple films they started in together. She personified the film noir dame and yet she also adapted as Hollywood changed. Her career spanned decades, and she was honored multiple times."

Gloria Grahame:

Absolute Hollywood vamp, who had a fine comedic bone. Died far too young and was depicted by Annette Bening in the stellar Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool

I’ve heard she’s horrendously miscast in Oklahoma (I have not seen it), so if you’re coming in with that framework PLEASE set that aside because gods does this woman shine in a NOIR!! She plays the battered woman more than a full on fatale, but she manages to bring interesting nuance to characters who are written as mere sultry divergences! Also: she’s sultry and an EXCELLENT divergence

She could do sexy, sweet and sinister in the same breath. She was crazy talented and had that lisp that melts me every time.

[starlightandfairies]

Surprise !!!!! Me again haha 😂

I'd maybe have another Elijah idea, where you're like a teacher just like the female version of Alaric and you're a couple. One time you're over at his, trying to do some school work but he accidentally keeps distracting you with simple things like, showering, walking around in a towel all wet and stuff. So you tell him to stop doing that and he finally realizes what he's doing to you, so he tries to make it up by giving you a much needed massage to start with 🤭 (btw, don't worry, I know you won't write smutty things, but maybe it can be a tiny bit spicy? 😘) Love you !

Description: The reader is a professor and struggling to focus with Elijah walking around and doing the simplest things

Warnings: she/her pronouns, fluff, swearing, hints to spicy

*Requests are open, please send through as many requests as you want, check my character list and requesting rules.*

Thank you for another request! I apologise for another short one.

Key: Y/N = Your Name, L/N = Last name, POV = Point of view

Word Count: 741

First Person's POV

I sat on Elijah's and mine bed, reading through my students' essays that I needed to mark, some of these students... my god they've got no idea what they're talking about. I rubbed my face, huffing irritatedly I took a breath, gave myself a breather and returned to marking through the essays. 

I glanced up and saw Elijah stepping out of the bathroom, I pursed my lips together and tilted my head to the side. Elijah, the perfect god that he is walked out with a towel hanging around his hips. His perfectly toned body glistened with water droplets, I sucked in a breath and straightened up. I went back to marking the essay, my mind going elsewhere as Elijah walked around his room, that towel covering his lower half left little to the imagination. 

I grunted lightly, trying to force myself to focus back on my assignment, I squirmed slightly as the thoughts came in and would not go away. I couldn't not think about Elijah pulling me into his arms, pushing me against the mattress and making me feel like jelly until I physically couldn't get up in the morning. I could see Elijah's look, I could see him observing me closely with so much love and care that it made the butterflies come to life. 

"Stop doing that, please," I murmured, watching as Elijah tilted his head in confusion which was then quickly replaced by a smirk as he lurked forward and rested a gentle kiss on my cheek. Leaning in closer as he placed chaste kisses against my air, his warm breath sending shivers all over as he pressed another kiss on my shoulder. 

"Stop doing what, my love?" He whispered, sitting beside me on the bed, one arm snaked around my waist and the other began rubbing my right shoulder, causing me to suck in a breath and shudder as he placed another kiss on my neck. 

"Stop being so fucking sexy." Elijah pulled me against his chest, his cologne hitting my nose, allowing for a hum to escape my lips and a delighted smile to form on his. 

"Am I distracting you?" 

"You know you are," I mumbled, placing the essay I was marking to the side, humming lightly as Elijah properly began massaging my shoulders and rested kisses across my face in a strategical pattern. He knew all my sweet spots, knew just how to tease me and how to make my mind crumble. 

"You're so tense. What's wrong?" 

"These..." I needed to pause to take a breath, the massaging was honestly really needed, I was super thankful he could read me like the back of his hand. 

"These students are giving me a migraine." 

"Don't worry about that anymore for tonight." 

"I'm gonna fall behind on my marking," I mumbled as he managed to lower me on the mattress, hovering over me his handsome features staring into my soul and gracing me with loving kisses that made me just crumble thinking of where this could go. 

"I'll help, you just tell me what to do." I nodded, my hands reaching to take off my pyjamas but Elijah easily cupped both of my wrists in one hand and shook his head with a playful tut. 

"Let me undress you, I want to enjoy this, I want to memorise every birthmark, freckle, scar and detail of your sweet and gorgeous body." I nodded, wanting to see Elijah's gorgeous features examine my body and feel his breath hit my skin as he teased and made me shudder in anticipation waiting for the moment to make this grand trick. Elijah dew out ever kiss across my navel, the warm kisses making me blush and arch forward involuntarily. 

"You're gorgeous, my love." 

"I hate that you can do this to me." He shook his head, his hand slipping my shirt off, a smirk gracing his lips as he easily slid off my shorts. 

"No, you don't, you love that I can do this." He chuckled proudly, sliding a hand under my back lifting me up and gave me the perfect chance to grasp his face gently and rest a long, deep and tender kiss against his lips.

"I've never known you to be smug." 

"Shh..." He whispered, lowering me back down against the mattress. 

"I love you so much." 

"I love you more." 

[rielzero]

Just saw your post about ascended Astarion and male Tav fanfic. I am willing to rise to the challenge

If you need any prompts! here's some concept I've danced with in my head (up for anyone to use) inspired by my own character's potential AUs. Please do not claim ownership over the ideas, I'd love to see people's different spins. Please keep it to Male Tav, there's so many Female Tav fics out there already- I had ideas specifically with a male character in mind. M x M focus is preferred. I'm not bi or pan, so anything hinting to tav being exclusively gay is nice.

THESE ARE all PROMPTS / IDEAS not demands. I'm not here to control anyone's creative progress :V

I'm just a nerd be nice

Brain Damage Tav has used the tadpole powers but refuses to become half-illitid and keeps it how it is. Tav ascends Astarion- but is convinced by Jaheira or someone else that he is incapable of feeling love now and becomes afraid of him- (Astarion still is very much capable of love) Astarion responds of course like a scorned ex, and lies through his teeth when the break up happens and breaks tav's heart. Timeskip- it is revealed Tav's altered brain still has mindflayer powers, but because of the trauma of the final fight he suffers from severe memory loss and pretty much got themselves in a position were he is dying- only for Astarion to come around and save him by turning him- then be met with guilt and over-protectiveness when he realizes Tav does not remember their time together anymore. (would work for a series, this concept is what I intend to use for an AU of my character but it would be very different.) Lots of angst but soft ascended astarion towards male tav :3 very gentle- very protective.

You were There too AU were Tav was kept by Cazador but never turned, just kept as a snack- so Astarion knows him and they may have fallen in love during that time. During the ritual Cazador threatens to replace Astarion with Tav- Astarion goes feral.

I forget you're an Urchin Playing into the fact that Astarion was a corrupted Noble- knows what luxury life is like- inspired by how my tav is an urchin and very unfamiliar with luxury- Tav is Astarion's consort- but is very awkward not knowing ANYTHING about noble life, from etiquette to wearing jewelry and fancy garbs. Wholesome stuff- Probably lots of fluff. Astarion spoiling Tav and showing him off.

Three of them AU were Gale and Astarion and Tav are a in a polycule, after ascension Astarion becomes a little overly possessive over Tav- Gale notices a bit late and feels left out, but supports his loved ones new life goals... Of world domination.

I'm married, get over it Au were male tav has an horrible ex who breaks in the mansion because he thinks tav is enslaved to Astarion- but he's not- He's just as evil as Astarion. And they're very affectionate- Astarion enjoys rubbing it into the ex's face. Extra points if the ex is a human cleric, paladin, or bard with too much facial hair. (COUGHS)

Warlock? cool Any fic that plays into the warlock theme openly for tav, not similary to Wyll- all though I don't want to restrict anyone to a specific type of patron. (my patron is a great old one) keep in mind there's warlock patrons outside of the subclasses in the bg3 game if you need inspiration. If tav's patron is female, give them a mother-son kind of bond since tav is gay.

Other, Tropes I like described vaguely cuz my brain stoopid but ideas that can be expanded into one fic or more -oh shit you're dying don't worry I can fix it with a bite -you're so beautiful I want a 100 paintings of you akjdkhgkfhgk -The gods literally made you to ruin me god damn it I should've known -tav is small / fragile looking man but he can stab you 100 times over -tav can sing, or is creative but he doesn't like sharing this side of him (loki is 100% exactly this lol) hes easily embarrassed -tav is internally panicking because he is very very very gay. -tav has scars too and is very insecure about his body. -overprotectiveness, lots of handholding keep you close kinda stuff -wholesome physical affection, does not have sexual implications even if they talk dirty or flirt silly -words being used like petite, twink- or cute in the right context. -maybe a fic focussing on tav being half elf and the struggles that come with it. Otherwise leave race up to reader. -Tav was already a vampire before they met, or is a dhampir -Astarion and tav knew each other 200 years ago -I will pet you aggressively and affectionally and you will like it -who the fuck are you drawing? wait thats me??? oh -Astarion is creative too and might doodle. -love at first sight but in denial.. cuz its funny -tav has insomnia and needs cuddles... -tav is a necromancer and familiar with vampire lore. -anything reflecting the vampire bride/groom lore in a scene. (there's a reddit post explaining this) -Vampire hunters coming after tav in attempt to hurt Astarion because he's become pretty untouchable -Vampire Tav does not want to feed on his victims because he finds that too intimite -Vampire tav is a vampire lord too- but not an ascended one- and he isn't corrupted by greed. -Astarion technically can compel Tav, but has no desire to do so and voices this openly to anyone who tries to argue Tav is a slave. -If Astarion hurts tav by accident in any way he feels horrible and will shower him in gifts or thousands of love language things just to affirm that it was an oopsie and he did not want to do that. He'd never do that willingly. -consent consent consent anything with consent- love language is consent -tav was a sex worker himself before they met but not anymore -lots of fluff stuff -scheming husbands plotting the downfall of the world together, bonus points if tav is the mastermind and a genius -Polycule with Gale, either as Triad, or Triangle -Admiring from afar, staring- lots of staring- intense consential staring -astarion beating up tav's abusers while tav sips from a chalice like a spoiled consort -dramatic vampire parties and all the normie vampire lords are scared of Astarion and his consort -vampire politics are kind of like ballroom hissing contests with fancy banquets and showing off your partner -I will go feral if someone hurts or touches you -steer clear of the consort, or the master will gut you -jealous vampire lord tries to seduce tav but tav is very loyal to astarion and not having it -astarion gets a cleric or powerful mage in his court just to revive tav if tav dies -You offended my husband? I'm setting your village on fire -Everyone thinks the consort tav is weak- but the consort might actually be more dangerous oh no -None of the above lines have to be necessarily restricted by ingame universe, can all be AU- does not have to include the whole mindflayer drama. Rule of Cool.

Avoid these please? I personally dislike that -misgendering tav (babygirl, queen, girly, strictly effeminate- any words that might demasculinize tav, as a gay man this stuff makes me really uncomfortable) -Overly describing tav's features as if they're set without leaving it open to the reader (long hair, skin color, favorite colors, etc) -Astarion knew tav when tav was still a child and Astarion was an adult. -Astarion abusing tav physically, just.. Please no. -...they're teenagers in high school... *dies* -brainwashing.. No offense to people who like some tropes I don't- You're fine :V We all have different tastes!

Headcanons for how Ascension works that you can use (inspired by ingame dialogue and such) -Tav isn't a regular spawn, but a vampire groom- He was turned differently, not buried for 2 days. Astarion can sense Tav is in danger if he is a groom, or sense strong emotions from him. -Tav is not immune to sunlight unless he stays in close range of Astarion. (based on dialogue) -Astarion might be a bit warmer to the touch since he is a living vampire now. He does not have to feed on blood- but Tav still requires blood and is cold to the touch.

Might edit this post later with more.

[waitingongravity]

Alright, so. So there's PLENTY of unfinished business in the Abyssal Hunter storylines.

Let's look at what we know of already and what that could mean:

First off, the stuff that has already been established in previous events: There were three big leaders in the Church of the Deep: Quintus, Amaia, and some other dude who has only been referred to as Him. This Him is acquainted with Specter during her time as an experiment subject. We can pretty safely assume that much like Quintus and Amaia, He will be the one orchestrating the events of next uhhh... event. Besides that, we have Ulpianus and the Last Knight. Those two swam off into the sunset at the end of Stultifera Navis, and we can only assume that they are still hunting seaborn to this point. The curious thing with the Last Knight is that we got to see him plenty in IS3. We know he's a powerful piece of work, and that in true Don Quixote fashion he is unreasonable with. The real question for me is what the hell he's going to do in a world where Ishra-Mla hasn't taken over yet. Will he be more helpful? Proooobably not. Speaking of: ISHRA-MLA. I've seen a lot of speculation over whether Skalter is fully non-canon to the main timeline, or if she is merely an eventuality. Skadi's condition is not looking good, and we haven't really been presented with any possible solutions. Specter is fighting off infection and insanity through her seaborn blood, but Skadi's issue is seaborn in nature. That being said, I'd like to stay optimistic. Skadi's arc has been an upwards one, even if it's only slightly. I'd like to believe that the difference between IS3's timelines and the Canon is that Skadi had more time to grow stronger mentally and emotionally to resist the pull of Ishra-Mla. Or at least stall long enough to find a solution. Of course, this transformation is also affecting Specter and Gladiia. Much like oripathy, they may be doomed, but maybe there's hope for a comfortable life.

AEgir is a nation we know next to nothing about since they're all the way in the Water. An unknown settlement of AEgir was spotted right under the Stultifera, and we know Ulpianus preventing the Hunters' return to AEgir is one of the reasons why the fish apocalypse didn't happen. Whether that is just proximity to the ocean or something in AEgir itself, I think we'll be diving out of Iberia and into that AEgir colony. I doubt we'll go into AEgir proper, but that doesn't mean AEgir won't send its own people out. Okay, now for the operators relevant to all this: The obvious one is Andreana, our lonely cuttlefish. She is essentially a cheap walmart knock-off Abyssal Hunter, so many think that she'd be getting an Alter or some story focus as she goes full fledged (full scaled? Whatever.) While I see that as a possibility, a lot of Andreana's character is just NOT CARING about any of that. She outright rejects the opportunity from Kal'tsit to learn more, and wants to leave her mysterious past behind her. Honestly, I can respect it. My guess is that Andreana might get involved but stay out of it, unless someone (like her employer Incandescence who we've yet to see in-game) gives her a reason to care.

So who else do we have involved in this? Well, Deepcolor is pretty sus, and the only other AEgir operator besides Skalter. I'll be honest, I always thought she was up to no good. Do NOT trust her >:I. There's also the chance she's some loose AEgir agent or something that lost contact after the Great Silence. But I still don't trust. Here's the sleeper pick: Blue Poison! The curious thing about Anura, besides how cute they are, is that they were enslaved by AEgir and brought to Iberia in hopes that their toxins could be a new weapon against the seaborn. This puts Bloopy in an interesting position as both someone with a vested interest. Hell, she could truly be the secret weapon in the event.

With all this in mind, here's my idea for what the event could/should be. Ulpianus can be the new 6 star, whatever he's a loser I don't care about him. More importantly, BLOOPY ALTER as a limited unit. That's right, Andreana can keep her gun, we all know she loves that thing more than anything. Let Bloopy be the first 6 star Arts Defender or something! Or a new Fighter since we know she boxes. I dunno, just make her busted so I can feel vindicated in my love for her. and finally, 5 star... I dunno, some AEgir girl from the settlement under the Stultifera. Give me a manta ray girl! Flat friend. Or angler fish? Hmmmm. As far as the plot, I think it'll be a two-pronged threat. On one end, He and the rest of the Church of the Deep implement a final plan, either relying on the super advanced tech AEgir have, or simply being the culmination of the evolution which has been a running theme for these events. Under Tides saw the seaborn evolve to talk, Stultifera Navis saw them evolve to be incredibly powerful and adaptive. Who knows what we'll see next? As for the AEgir settlement's conflict, I think we could see a next step in the other relevant issue in Iberia: the persecution of the AEgir peoples and the role of the Inquisition in the fight against the sea. I doubt the settlement will be safe for long, so perhaps over the course of the story we will see them integrated into Iberia, and offer their own tech/abilities in exchange for a stronger frontline. Of course, all this is assuming that the settlement isn't just an long-abandoned ruin. I'd also like it if the Doctor actually got involved in this event. Kal'tsit is a given of course, but I think the Doctor's presence might be appropriate for the conclusion of this trilogy. Much how like Lone Trail concluded the story started by Mansfield and Dorothy's Vision, there might be big story turning points at the end of this. And given the forces involved? This wouldn't be surprising. Anyways this was a super disorganized ramble I typed mid-ttrpg session so I'm sure I missed a lot or messed stuff up. I'd love to hear any more speculations, this stuff is very fun to think about.

[nuggeteri]

I AM AN AUTHOR!!!!

Hi??? I mean I need a post to pin on my page and i have decided to make this the post.

Hi, I am a fanfiction writer and I post on both Wattpad and AO3. My user is Lolyukimaxlol on both of them.

I write for these fandoms, in the order of less likely to write for to most likely to write for: Generation Loss, DSMP, EmpiresSMP, QSMP, Hermitcrat, Life series.

Most of my fanfictions will focus on ONE fandom (or Fandoms that are common to crossover, like Empires and the Life series,) BUT there will be SIDE characters of other fandoms if I deem necessary. If my character needs a therapist, I might add in Roier. Or if my character's in a public space, I might do references to Tallulah and Pomme. Or a coffeeshop (starbobby!)

I write STRICTLY Non-RPF stuff. Sexual content could be *implied* but not written (and even then it's only if it's plot relevent). Gore could appear, but that will be tagged for.

MY CURRENTS WORKS

Half's the dessert's rotten.

is a fanfiction that mainly focuses on Grian and Scar's relationship in some sort of art highschool. Although it is not the only one presented. There is some Cub x Mumbo and Tango x Scott x Jimmy. This story delves into their relationship and how mental illness infects them as an invidual and their relationships, and how they cope with it. I CANNOT promise you a good ending, but nothing is yet to be set in stone in my plans.

'Til The End Of The Earth (Guess We Found Out Where The Earth Ends)

This is a Fred/WA02 x Tubbo story in an apocalypse of zombies that has been ongoing for 6 years. This story is a QSMP-main story, although it contains characters from the DSMP and Scott Smajor. Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo find an underground organization during the apocalypse and are too curious to let it be. They enter under-cover and make friends. But feelings of power could intervene, justice might be given, and some people might never be seen again...

Help's a bit of a Buzzkill.

This story is the first story in my series UADOAS (Scroll down for more info) inspired by Amethystfairy1. It explores Tubbo and Tommy's evolving friendship in the Under-City, a place that is not nice to it's resident. As they find ways to survive and try to.. Climb?! they make some unexpected meetings. I guess you could say it's about the friends they made along the way.

MY CURRENT SERIES

Ups And Downs Of A Society

This series is inspired by @amethystfairy1 'TTSBC' "Through The Sky-Blue Cracks" But involves different dynamics and fandoms (Current fandoms planned are Life Series, QSMP, DSMP and Empires.) It currently has one work "Help's a bit of a Buzzkill" (Scroll up for more info) but there is so much planned such as the Clockers, Misclick duo, QSMP eggs, Flower... husbands... ranchers...?? and MORE! I am very excited for this project and am very grateful to have gotten the OK from Amethyst to make this silly universe a reality.

Celestial Beings Hierarchy

This series is a Life Series main series, looking at the Winner's arena after the life games, dubbed Ouranios. After they win, the Winner's consciousness leave their Player body and goes to the "Watcher's Trashcan" Where they put everything they don't like. Such as nature, clouds, skies, The Sun (Grian); The Stars (Scott); The Moon (Pearl); Mars (Martyn); Earth (Scar). AKA the winners. They have different ways to go on about things and opinions but try their best to stay civil (well.. as much civil as Pearl can get herself to be). But after an incident where the Watchers noticed Grian Watching, and tormenting him for a day, and with the strong feeling that a new Death Game might be upcoming so a new Winner, and the stress of- Why is Ouranios rotting?! Well.. We'll just have to fuck around and find out. (The series does include non-famous ships that will be revealed shortly. There is currently 2 works in the series. One introducing it with a 5+1 times, and one delving in Scar and Pearl's relationship/p. The "not famous" ship will be revealed in the next work, "Daffodils on a pretty string" (scroll down for more) coming out soon. hopefully.)

PUBLIC IN-THE-WORK PROJECTS.

Soulmates AU

This story is not published but will be after "Help's a bit of a Buzzkill." (Scroll up for more info) is done. It is about Scott x Tango but there is a weird tension between Scott and Pearl... This is as much as is public info about it and does not yet have a title. Coming soon!

ZC!Scar AU

This is a project I am very excited about. It could very well be a one-standing project but could as well become a series. It does have a title but I deem it temporary. Not much is public about this AU. (Can you take a guess on what ZC means? It is not ZombieCleo. I promise.)

Common Life

This is a project that will be released whenever the first episode of the new Life Series will be released. It is not a choice. I am forcing myself to do it. That's all the public info I have for y'all.

My ChatFic.

Not much is revealed either except that when it is out it will be posted daily. 'Cause contrary to other works Chatfics are considerably shorter. And that Scott is a bitch in it. I said it (in a tumblr post, actually,) that "Scott is a toxic ex mf" (my words) "and that he should be decripted as much. coming from an autistic mf addicted with him" Then said that this is a spoiler for my ChatFic. Take it as you will (i love scott but he gets to be a manipulative bitch as a treat from time to time.

Neighbours Be Neighbours

Nothing is revealed except that it's Flower husbands. I love flower husbands. and unlike my chatfic scott isnt a toxic mf. i love scott smajor. and flower husbands.

Daffodils on a pretty string.

I almost forgot this one even though i mentioned it earlier on. This story is part of the series Celestial Beings Hierarchy (Scroll up for more!) and dives into the evolving relationship between a SECRET SHIP! It is not famous; Do not expect flower husbands or scarian. You will be disappointed-- Any ship you can think of (Shiny duo, snowbugs, grumbo etc) THATS NOT IT. anyway. I'm very excited for this one because… This ship hasn't gotten a work in.. 3 months. and even then it's a chatfic. I hope you guys learn to appreciate it as much as I do and revive its tag<3 not like it was ever alive in the first place… sighs.

Honorable mention:

-The purge (a book that i'll work on. one day)

-Empires x QSMP AU (a book that i'll work on. one day)

-Those other Aus sitting in my drafts (ull probably never get worked on ever again)

And I believe that's it. Goodbye. I hope to post more here and become famous. please

[fuckingguide]

need to vent about some stuff going on in my life. putting it under a read more otherwise I'll end up "do you love the colour of the sky"-ing everyone lol

I still don't know how things ended up this way. last year it looked like all these changes were going to bring great things and now I feel like I've made the worst mistake of my life and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm continuously postponing the inevitable, and in two months I won't be able to do that anymore. I'm gonna have to face reality and accept that a relationship between me and this guy will never happen, except I have to see him every single day so I don't know how we will be able to handle that. I'm gonna have to ask him not to talk to me anymore, so I can get over him, but the idea of sitting in the same room as him every day as we ignore each other, knowing that we're still in love with each other, makes me want to cry, and I know it's the same for him.

so what then? I'm still dealing with a language barrier in this country and I don't have any friends besides my coworkers, the closest friend being the guy to whom I will have to stop talking if I ever want to get over him. and the thought of trying to go out and meet people and make friends while dealing with this heartbreak is exhausting, and that's not even taking into account my general introversion and low social battery.

so I will lose the only friend I have due to a self-imposed ban. but what other choice do I have? we tried the just-friends route and it doesn't work, we both still clearly have feelings for each other and keep toeing the line, and maybe he's okay with things staying like that forever, but I'm not. I'm lonely and I feel miserable. I feel good when I'm with him but even those moments are soured by the knowledge that we can't actually be together and we most likely never will be. and if that's the case, I need to forget about him somehow. how am I ever gonna find someone, or even just focus on meeting new people and making friends, if I'm hung up on a guy who will never be with me? unless he proves me wrong in the next two months and decides to be with me after all, but I doubt that.

and on the one hand I think of that borrowing grief from the future post and think I shouldn't cry now over what will happen in two months when he gives me a no as his final answer, but on the other hand I think, aren't I just fooling myself sitting here thinking that things are gonna be fine just like that? shouldn't I be trying to prepare myself for what will most likely happen?

but then again how do I do that? what do I do? and how the fuck will I survive the heartbreak and the loneliness? how will I get over him if I see him every day, how will I survive having to ignore him the whole day? the only other option I see is moving back to the country I was in before, but even then I won't be immediately healed. I'll still feel like shit for a long time. and it would mean admitting defeat, having to tell everyone that I just couldn't hack it in a new country and I'm giving up, and giving up this opportunity to settle in a better country than I was in before (although I'm lucky enough that the previous country is still a good enough country with a decent economy (for 2024 standards)). but at least I would never see him again and I would be guaranteed to get over him eventually. and I'd have my friends back, my social life back if I move to the same area I was in, and not have a language barrier anymore.

but then I think of that other post that's like "I want it back = I drag its dead weight forward" and wonder. am I just kidding myself, thinking I can go back? I don't know. I don't know what to do. things are bad now but the clock is ticking and soon they will be even worse. at least for now I still have a good relationship with him and we have fun at work. soon even that will be gone, and then I really don't know. everyone tells me I'm so brave for having moved here, but I don't feel brave. I feel like I'm living in fear of all the pain I went through these past months and all the pain I will feel in the foreseeable future, and I keep making choices that won't help me at all in the long run, just to avoid having to feel that pain again. I'm not brave at all. I'm so scared all the time.

[skylarbee]

Over the years I have seen many fandoms and fans of all kinds, but yes, in fact lately the AM fandom is really becoming something unmanageable for anyone even for those who perhaps follow the band for the music without wanting to know anything about the gossip. I think this is also partly the fault of Tiktok which has led many young people to want to follow the band and therefore to become attached to certain characters without knowing what they have done in the past, they want to throw shit at people they didn't know until two years ago like Miles for example and blaming him for everything is saying disgusting things towards him that really, just reading it brings tears to my eyes. I don't know what will happen as soon as the tour ends, I hope things calm down even if it's hard for me given Amanda and Matt's attitude in the last few days

yes to all of this! the only times that i've searched for gossip were when i already heard a lot of rumours against my will and i wanted to see if they were true (other people should do this too instead of immediately believing/disbelieving something they've read on the internet...). other than that, the moment i open any social media, it's all there without me having to press a single button, and i'm sure that lots of other people have it the same way.

i do think too that tiktok might have something to do with it. i wasn't this deep in the fandom until only like three years ago, so i don't know what the situation was with younger fans before that. i also said a lot of stupid shit on the internet when i was really young, so i can't expect much from the young fans, especially the ones who have no idea about how problematic LV is and love her to bits. the extremely sad thing is that i've seen SO many people who do know a thing or two, and they still think that she's done nothing wrong (like ppl saying that she's a 'queen' for being the one alex cheated with, that she should be proud of it and brag about it, or the ones that congratulate her and say that they would've done even worse things just to get in alex's pants - just some vomit-inducing stuff)

the thing with miles makes me the saddest, i feel you anon. there are loads of people out there who spread false information and call him things that he's not - but what's even worse than this is there are people who have no idea about these things, and still hate on him and make fun of him for absolutely no reason. like he said, we have to accept the fact that this is the way it always will be; i can't even get mad anymore when interviewers constantly bring up alex/tlsp when talking to him. i don't think it will ever change. let's all learn from LV and do the opposite of what she does - when we see people talking shit, we should just click that block/mute button and go about our day without paying attention to it and posting on our stories about it (if i were to sit down and argue with every person on twitter who says something bad about him, i'd do that 24/7). miles' fans are the sweetest people out there (like artist like fan) and we should focus on not ruining the pure and good vibes that miles transmits to us via his IG (reason why i don't tag these posts with his name). if he can take some minutes out of his life (almost) every day to post cute things for us, we should also send him back positive things - out of tens of fake people in am's circle, he continues to be the only genuine, honest, and pure-hearted person - let's not take it for granted.

i imagine that after the tour ends all we'll have will be L&A's stories, specifically LV's stories where she'll position her phone so that we'll be able to see alex's elbow and lose our minds over it; and similar shenanigans. i am not looking forward to it. this community will be rotten for as long as those two will be present in the boys' lives (i wish it wouldn't be true, but everything has been going downhill since 2018/2019)

[mob-choir]

hi! just wondering if u have any mp100 fic recs particularly nonromantic ones? i read “A Breach of Trust” already and that one went straight to the Fics of All Time for me!!

hello! here's some stuff from my bookmarks that is non-romantic, or where if there is any romance, it's not the main focus:

Issho by @toastytoaster22: a canon divergence AU where teru meets shigeo and ritsu when he's 8 years old, and things go from there. this is THE go-to fic if you liked A Breach of Trust imo - not for the genre and tone, those are different (though admittedly it's been years since I reread Abot so my memory of it is a bit fuzzy - will need to reread it soon!), but the key aspects are the same: it's a very well-written, long fic, with a gripping plot, excellent characterisation and introspection (the pov is absolutely fantastic), and heart-warming familial bonds that will make you cry. this fic will break your heart and then lovingly put it back together.

Butterfly Effect by Frecklefrog: similar concept to the above, also a fantastic execution. reigen and mob meet teru while out on a job, when the kids are around 11, and the plot evolves from there. again this has great characterisation and the relationships are very well-written, especially teru and reigen's.

Hiding His Horns (an orphaned work): this one is listed in ao3 as terumob but in my opinion this fic is plot-heavy more than anything else, and gives equal weight to reigen and mob's and mob and ritsu's relationship (in addition to teru and mob's), so i wouldn't say it's about romance. but it IS written in teru's pov, and his feelings for mob are not exactly subtle, so if that's not your cup of tea, i'd skip this one. but if that doesn't bother you, then i really recommend it. it's a witches and demons AU where teru, a promising young witch/exorcist, really really wants reigen, an incredibly famous exorcist, to take him on as an apprentice. he's less than pleased when he discovers reigen in fact already has a student, and that student is a demon of all things.

The Joy of Cooking (for a Family You Didn't Know You Had) by pepperfield: a 5 + 1 collection about reigen treating the people in his life to meals. this one is just great if you're looking for something about reigen and the gaggle of kids he ended up pretty much adopting. very very heartwarming, and the crazy conversations the kids have always make me laugh. each of their voices is spot-on. this fic does have some serirei, especially one of the later chapters, but it's not the overall focus of the fic at all.

The Destiny of Those Around You by @fightmemogami: this one is a series containing two fics, both equally great. both are missing moments from s1, after the seventh division arc. one is about shigeo visiting kamuro, the student council president (as he mentions to ritsu in the last ep of s1), and the other is about a conversation that may have happened between mob and onigawara (based on that comment he gave ritsu about how "your brother was worried about you"). both these fics are very good, i especially enjoy the way shigeo is written.

Color in a Monochrome World by Sifl: i have to be honest, i haven't reread this collection yet since i first did back in 2016, but it's in my bookmarks and i remember really enjoying it. it's a collection of gen fics, about different characters and different relationships, and while they can be read as stand-alones, they are subtly interconnected. the details are a bit fuzzy in my memory but it's very well-written, so i do recommend it. i will be rereading it soon myself.

Port in a Storm by W3LTERW8: this is a short character study set right after the separation arc. contains some good angst, as well as a great conversation between reigen and mob in the aftermath of what was a turning point for both of them.

Signed Up For It by @turning-the-kaleidoscope: heart-warming fic that takes place both before and after canon, focused on reigen's pov of the sort of world shigeo, as a born esper, lives in, and how different that world is from reigen's own. and how despite all that, reigen still wants to stay. has some great dialogue that really stuck with me, and the hurt/comfort is fantastic.

tomorrow isn't always another day by suitablyskippy (tumblr won't let me @ them, but they're also on here with the same username, I believe): hilarious fic, made me laugh out loud multiple times with how clever and quick-witted the writing is. reigen is caught in a time loop, is apparently the only person to be aware of it, and can't seem to find the cause, no matter how many times he asks mob to check if he's got a curse on him. excellent writing that casually drops some of the best-written, funniest lines like it's nothing.

Pull Up The Weeds to Grow Back Stronger by @spiritusrex: we are now entering what I'm calling the Mogami section of this post. this one is a great fic about minori in mogamiland, and how she slowly but surely manages to rebel against the role she is being made to play. great depiction of the start of a redemption arc.

I know who I am when I'm alone by RedWritingHood: mogami arc fic where reigen is also stuck in mogamiland as another random inhabitant of this world. really really great fic about how your thoughts and feelings don't determine the sort of person you are, your actions do. you can still do good by someone no matter how many intrusive thoughts try to get you to be a horrible person.

Come Morning Light by NotHereForIt: this one deals with the fallout of the mogami arc. reigen finds himself in a dream that isn't his, where mob is being haunted by the six months that never happened. some darker themes, as expected from anything dealing with the mogami arc, but great hurt/comfort.

since you asked for non-romantic stuff particularly, I will put the following two recs on their own. they're both terumob, and the romance is pretty central in both (especially in the second one), so they may not be your cup of tea, but they both have some of the best redemption arcs i've ever read, both in this fandom and outside of it. if you don't mind the romance, i wholeheartedly recommend them, i've read both multiple times:

Tunnel Vision (orphaned): a canon divergence AU (set before the two of them meet) where mob's school is undergoing some renovations and he and his friends are temporarily relocated to teru's school. teru senses there's another esper at his school and does NOT take it well. he makes a lot of mistakes. roughly follows the events of season 1. written in teru's pov so his feelings for mob are always prominent as they slowly shift from animosity to something else, but i don't know if i would even call this a love story. it's about teru's redemption first and foremost. excellent writing and characterisation, and i have to give a special shoutout to tsubomi, i really loved the way she was written in this fic.

Sword of Damocles (also orphaned): cannot describe in words the impact this fic has had on me. it's a no powers AU set when the kids are 16. teru is, to put it bluntly, a complete asshole, and so are his friends. when he brags to them that he'd be able to charm anyone and get them to kiss him (without being the one to make the first move), they dare him to prove it, and point to a random guy walking by (shigeo) as his target. now teru just needs to charm him and get his kiss so he can go back to his life, but it may not be as easy as it seems. obviously this fic has a lot of romance in it since teru is trying to charm mob into going out with him since the start, but the slow burn is one of the best i've ever read. teru starts off as highly unlikable, and he's not very charitable (in his head) towards mob at all, but slowly, very slowly, he starts to change. it's incredibly well-written, and as the title implies, you spend the whole time reading it with a sense of anticipation and dread, wondering when things are gonna come crashing down and how bad the fallout will be. a really, really great fic, i wish i could reread it as if it was the first time.

that's all i've got for you! i hope at least some of these can pique your interest, and that you enjoy them. would love to hear your thoughts on the ones you do read, if you like! i'm always open to talk about great fics.

[derelictlovefool]

2, 5, 7, 9, 13, 14 for the writing asks!!

Thank you for sending these in liz !! 🥺 I'm not gonna focus on just one fic for these bc i'm a mess and most of my stuff is WIP's anyway but yeah ajsjshsjshs

Do you have any easter eggs in your fic?

I've been trying to add in easter eggs into my multi chapter fics lately!! Currently in The Snake Followed Me Home From Georgia I've been playing around with names for things that could be easter eggs for Hope County. Like I might have John's law firm be called Holland Law (not sure if that's too obvious and on the nose tho so i'm marinating on it). I am tossing some ideas for other easter eggs but i'm not sold on them yet so I won't say anything ahsjsnsns

What's a piece of lore you haven't shown in your fic or don't think you'll be able to add in?

I haven't shown a Lot (But admittedly I also haven't written a Lot) but I think some OC's backstories may not properly make it to the light of day in most of my fics. Unless I start seperate fics for all of my OC's their childhoods and lives up until the current story events will only be known outside of the fic when I talk about them or in very small snippets of dialogue.

I also haven't gotten to it yet in any of my fics but Marvin (Joseph's right hand man peggie who is basically the compound house husband but in a platonic way) has history with Dean and that history is that Dean was close friends with Marvin's late wife back in the day (and therefore Marvin) and !! This will hopefully come into play during at least my main fc5 fic when Dean is taking over an outpost and stops Jess from killing him! (Common Dean L not letting Jess murder and maim like she deserves 🙄)

What character do you enjoy writing most? Why?

Out of canon characters I really love writing Sharky, as a dumb lil guy myself I find him easy to write and he's just a lovable goofball who sparks joy!!

John is a close second even though i'm insecure about how I portray him sometimes, we all make fun of him but I adore his character and getting into his head is a nice challenge.

Honorable mentions would have to be Deadpool and Alvin Murphy from Z Nation, again they fall into characters I just find come natural to me when I write!

Out of my OC's I feel it's very obvious I love writing Dean, he's just My Blorbo you know? I can toss him around in any context and be happy and confident in how i've written him BUT. MOST IMPORTANTLY. I love his kids and writing him with his kids is pure serotonin and if I could only focus on one fic for the rest of my life i'd choose Second Chances hands down.

What is your favourite line/interaction in your fic?

OH GOD OKAY. So there are a lot but I have a scene in chapter one of my fic Blue (mediaeval au my beloved) where Dean and Sharky have a lil reunion after not seeing each other for a while and Dean had carried a boar he caught to Sharky's hut effortlessly and when Sharky tries to lift it he Struggles. (And then freaks Dean out with his carelessnes with a knife) It's just two of my fave idiots interacting and the whole scene (and chapter tbh as it focuses on them and Hurk) brings me joy even if the writing is old !!

Sharky giggles, nudging them with his shoulder as he passes them and attempts to pick up their sack. His giggles are cut short as he grunts at the effort, sack dropping back onto the dirt as quickly as he had lifted it but a centimeter from the ground. Dean's laughter doubles, sides shaking as Sharky's brows furrow and his head whips around to look at them in disbelief.

"How far 'd ya carry this?!" He asks, struggling to drag the sack towards the campfire as Dean holds themself up with their hands on their knees. They shake their head wordlessly, fighting to mute their laughter only to erupt into small giggles as they calm themself down.

"Only a mile i think, and a bit." Dean says through small giggles, straightening their stance and appreciating the newfound warmth spreading through their cold and heavy limbs.

Sharky guffaws at their casual tone, obviously impressed by their ability to carry the heavy sack that far and not have their arms fall off. He mutters something about witchcraft as Dean sits back down on the log, removing the many straps and weapons on their being and placing them on the ground beside their bow. They watch their friend with an amused gaze as he pulls the wild boar from the sack. He looks down right annoyed and they hear him mutter; "Small my ass—" before he stands and walks back to his hut.

"How've ya been anyway? James didn't say much last time he was here, just that ya were working on a new uh, thing." Sharky returns with one of his larger knives, swinging it as he makes a vague gesture with his hand. Dean watches his hand carefully, knowing full well he was capable of cutting a finger off if he wasn't paying attention.

"I've been fine—busy—designing a new freeze, the one we've got's starting to crack and the meat's thawing too fast." They reply, keeping an eye on Sharky's hands as he begins to skin the boar less then precisely.

"And you?" Dean asks, trying not to wince every time they saw the knife flick upwards jerkily.

Is there a transition in your fic you're proud of?

I'm actually horrendous at transitions, i'm the writer that goes "After a while they got to the where they were going," or puts a text divider if I really need a big time skip. I'd like to test out more artistic ways to transition but that'll have to wait </3 So anyway to answer the question not as of yet no.

What is your favourite relationship featured in your fic aside from the main couple (if you have one)?

Okay so in every fc5 fic I write Dean, Sharky and Hurk's friendship is like. My favourite thing to write ever. They are the goofiest dumbasses on the planet and Dean loses what little braincells he has left when he's with them. They are the ride or die gang in almost every au and I just love them your honor. (Also goes without saying Dean and the kids ! Good dad and epic kids dynamic my beloved)

And also Nick and Kim will forever be my fave canon couple and I love when I get to write them in a fic <3

[sagemoderocklee]

sorry for the ask dump but 34, 35, 41 and 7 for the writing ask game?

there's no need to be sorry! i wanted asks, so i appreciate this!

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

Can I say everything? lmao

but fr i have two things i am stupid proud of: my map of wind country and the religion of Suna which is still the works though i do have some notes i can share.

the map is still in progress but here are some photos (this is the rough draft. once it's done/finalized, i'll be transferring all this to a really nice poster board, coloring, and so on):

the map consists of 9 regions with a total of 27 provinces. the way im framing the countries of the Naruto world is that when you see something like 'Fire Country' or 'Wind Country' it's really more like the equivalent of a continent. Obviously, a whole continent can be a country, so for instance in my mind Fire Country is both the continent and the country. However, Wind Country is made up of 9 regions which would be the equivalent of a country. My main goal with Wind Country is to be able to create a grounded continent with distinct cultures by region/province, where Suna is the melting pot of Wind. Suna is considered the 'Heart of Wind' and the 'birth place of the gods', and has historically been a place of commerce, culture, travel, and so on.

Wind is based on various parts of west and southeast Asia. I recently made some adjustments to the region in the south while working on Blood on the Branches, and I want to redraw the island off the coast of the south.

For the religion, I'm trying to build a polytheistic belief system. My main focus has been working on creating aspects for the deity who rules love, as I am working on the next chapter of Thirteen Strokes.

sorry about my messy handwriting, and again these are just very sloppy notes that i will eventually put into a nice notebook specifically for the religious worldbuilding I'm doing. I would also include the worldbuilding around Shikamaru's clan and the Shadow Kami in this, though I have to do a lot more work on that still.

34. What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life?

A lot of things are pulled from my own life, such as Lee in Absolution. That's a reflection of my own experiences with the loss of a parent, though I was much younger than Lee is during the events of Absolution.

I think as a general rule, any time I write about death it's really just rooted in my own experiences with that.

Another example of stuff pulled from my personal life would be the fic 'if wanting were enough i'd take you by the hand' (major warnings: suicide attempt, suicidal ideation, mental health struggles) which was a way for me to work through some mental health things i was going through at the time of writing this.

The only other thing I can think of off the top of my head is that Stolen Glances is not entirely fictional in that when I lived in San Francisco, the first bus I took to get to my community college there was a woman who took the bus I thought was very cute and we ended up striking up a sort of friendly acquaintanceship since we saw each other all the time.

35. What aspects of your writing are completely unlike your real life?

them being ninja lmao but no in all seriousness setting aside the very obvious fantasy elements of the series, i think that while there's a lot of emotional resonance for me with my writing, i can say that the majority of what I write is nothing like my personal life. while i am very politically minded, i am not involved in politics in the way Gaara is; I am not married or even dating anyone; I don't get to travel or do much, especially these past five months with long haul covid.

i think writing is a lot of mixing real experience and fantasy (not the commercial genre, just like making shit up), and i think that while the emotional aspects to my writing are things I can relate to and have pulled from my life, a large part of what i write has nothing to do with my life.

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

ah there's a lot of fics that have done that for me, but I think just in general I'm gonna say just about anything written by @ghoste-catte is incredibly inspiring to me as a writer. their pros are utterly impeccable and i don't think i could pick just one story by them.

[roboromantic]

had a Really bad bout of "oh gd the future's hopeless I'm never gonna be able to live the life I want" yesterday

probably just bc I was Hella stressed, but it was the push I needed to Actually go ahead and drop by Wake Tech to see about that Simulation and Game Development degree (aka The One With 3d Modeling and Animation) or certificate programs.

turns out the certificate programs are not eligible for financial aid; I'd have to go with the associates. I apparently can't meet with an actual courses advisor unless I get admitted (so basically, if I apply). Applying is free beyond sending them my UNCA transcript, and there's no obligation to sign up for classes I guess? that's what the admissions advisor seemed to be saying.

Wake Tech is pretty darn cheap to begin with and I'm fairly sure I can get it covered by financial aid anyway so......I think I may go ahead and see if maybe I can go for that associates beginning in spring or if they'd make me retake all the gen-ed courses. in which case lol nope. The admissions advisor seemed optimistic about the gen-ed stuff transferring and/or still being valid after nearly a decade, so maybe I CAN just focus on the important stuff

I'm hoping that I can take all or most of my classes online to save on gas costs/driving time; too much driving time on top of classes would probably be a pain even with my job's very flexible hours. If I can get all or mostly T/Th and/or night courses though that'd be less of an issue

oh I'd also like to try and take courses throughout the whole year to speed things up a bit lmao. gimme all the summer classes.

they DO offer uuuhhh what's it called. work-based learning. which is not guaranteed to pay you (boooo) but I think would still be a good thing to try out just so I can get some experience + (more) connections in the industry maybe?

I mean I don't want to work EXCLUSIVELY on video games, but they don't seem to have any other animation-related options so. I mean I'm definitely still very interested I just wish there were a few more options 😔

I'm hoping I won't have to write any damn essays in these classes but I'm sure there's gonna be some. hopefully with adhd meds it'll be tolerable

The one thing that's kind of holding me back is that because the degree is "Simulation and Game Development" there's not really a strong focus on the 3d modeling & animation that'd I'd kinda wanted. I guess I might could just take the classes that interest me, but that definitely wouldn't be covered by financial aid. It's probably for the best to learn all that stuff though, I have also wanted to learn some programming stuff anyways (mostly to make Minecraft mods lol but I don't know that they'll go into Java.)

I was also considering online schools/courses, which would be guaranteed to be online-only and MUCH more focused on the stuff I want, but those don't really Do financial aid and maybe this is a Boomer take but I'm still kinda leery about the credentials of online schools. Not so much Animation Mentor or Animschool, though I feel like an Actual AA from a Real College™ still carries more weight if that makes sense, but stuff like Udemy courses seem to just kinda be Whatever.

I think maybe I should just go with the AA at Wake Tech and get the basics down. maybe by the time I've finished that I can move on to something like Animschool; L-rd knows I ain't goin back for another BA though lmao

[rigelmejo]

Updates??? Maybe?? July 2, 2022

My Japanese is like the last post more or less. I tried watching Sailor Moon in Japanese. Since I wanted to try more stuff in only Japanese, no English to help me out. I could follow the overall main idea, some real simple slice of life lines, and sailor moon is thankfully so visual in its storytelling its really easy to follow even if you barely know the words. I've been watching Ranma 1/2 in only Japanese too, but Ranma I already know the plot and characters. I'd say my Japanese level is like... almost where my chinese was 8 months into studying? Ahich for me was like: can start following the Overall Main Idea of shows without subs but most details are a massive struggle unless I look up stuff (but ill pick it up eventually probably), can follow manga without looking stuff up but again it's mainly overall main idea only and details are hard (but i can get some details with word lookup), can start baby step wading into reading actual novels but aside from a line here and there and maybe a vague overall idea of some paragraph main ideas I really need a dictionary lookup to figure out the overall main idea For Sure (and even with word lookup the details are still a struggle).

Audio is perhaps the odd one out... I have been listening to Final Fantasy X in Japanese, and since I have prior context from playing in English and knowing the plot/characters, nearly constantly I know what lines I'm listening to even when I don't know the words and I'm not getting visuals (only listening to audio). I'm honestly surprised I follow the audio of ffx as well as I do. I think particularly for me Listening Reading Method with Japanese text and audio would probably help me a TON... but i don't have the focus or time. If I do ever try an L R Experiment with Japanese I'll let you know. With playing Ryu ga Gotoku Ishin, I also found myself mainly relying on audio when I heard it (over Japanese subs) just because I can listen easier than I can read fast when it comes to Japanese. My audio listening skills are more like where chinese was after 1.5-2 years. So I would say my decision to focus on listening in study a lot with Japanese was a good decision for listening skills.

I am definitely mostly doing a hands off approach with Japanese study these past few months and for the near future - listening to glossika Japanese is the only "structured" study I'm doing and to be honest I consider it comprehensible input repeated exposure rather than the more intensive kind of study grinding. All my other "study" is just: play a game in Japanese, watch something in Japanese, listening to something in Japanese. I've been occasionally reading in Japanese, and during that I do some word lookup which is about the most studying I'm doing (but it's really not much more than maybe 20 words I've looked up this past june).

I am very much trying the approach of "extensive exposure of somewhat comprehensible material (but like only main idea comprehended) and maybe your level will improve". Like the article on Reddit I mentioned of the person who watched 1000 hours of Japanese and got their listening from N5 to N2. I don't know if my results would be as drastic - especially given I'm not clocking 1000 hours for a long while lol - but I'm also a higher starting level than thar person. I could already play video games in japanese that I'd played in English before, I could already read manga for the main idea, so my initial Japanese before attempting to keep learning just by "exposure" was probably higher than that person's. Also, again... I just do not study often so I'm not going to get nearly that amount of hours.

Eventually? I'd like to do the following things with Japanese. Maybe I will get to come back and check off what I've done!

Play Kingdom Hearts 2 entirely in japanese

Play Final Fantasy 6 in Japanese (I own it now!!)

Play Nier Automata in Japanese

Play Yakuza Ishin in japanese

Play any of my old games in japanese (Mario world is probably gonna be easy but it'd still be a lil accomplisment!)

Finish one of the lets plays I'm watching in Japanese (there's a new channel I really like, but I'd also love to find an LP of Devil Summoner Raidou)

Finish Koisenu Futari novel in japanese

Finish reading Any manga volume in Japanese (it would be a cool little accomplishment! And I'm surprised I haven't fucking done this yet...)

Finish reading any novel in Japanese (gonna be funny as hell to me if it's Parasite Eve the first Japanese novel I bought, or Guardian japanese translation which I've already read 2 chapters of)

Do listening reading method Mejo Light Edition. Which would be listening to a Japanese audio drama episode of mdzs or the audio cd for Nier Replicant and just watch with eng subs then again with Japanese subs. Should be easy and only take 2 hours but I just cannot focus ToT

Do listening reading method with Alice in Wonderland (I've already done 1.5 chapters but then I can't focus)

Finish listening to Final Fantasy X condensed audio since apparently it's easy, and it's fun to hear the differences in what they say

Watch a show season in japanese

Whenever I can focus on textbooks, I have two books for learning to read Japanese. I really want to cram ans JUST READ THROUGH THEM. I feel like my reading skills would get SUCH a technical boost, my Kanji pronunciations would improve, and my grammar would get a nice refresher and reinforcing. I think it would push me up significantly in my reading level, and overall japanese level, if I'd just sit down and focus. (But knowing me I may not end up reading these textbooks until I've already read a whole japanese novel).

So yeah. We will see how my japanese does.

In other updates!!! Chinese!!

My reading level in chinese? Quite decent. I'm lazy. That's what it all amounts to. ToT I am officially at a perfectly fine reading level to start just CHUGGING through a lot of the physical novels I own and digital webnovel pages I have opened in my tabs. Chapters take me 20-30 min (4000 characters) which to be honest is probably roughly my English reading speed when I'm sinking in. So it's all just a matter of time at this point, making time to read. I have no more excuses to put off reading these novels except lack of time. I could definitely read Saye now, Guardian now, dmbj now. I honestly predict somehow I'm going to read my can ci pin chinese volumes before I actually read the translation. That's the state I'm in.

I've also been reading manhua, and again it's just TIME in my way. To be fair, time is also holding me back on reading all the novels I'm mid reading in English. Generally just readings been hard. Partly why Japanese gets so much focus lately is I CAN game right now and the yakuza games are having me listen to Japanese nonstop, remind me to listen to other Japanese stuff I've been going through. So yeah.

Chinese reading level? I'm really happy with it right now! It's not perfect but it reminds me of being maybe 9-10. I was an "advanced reader." It reminds me of being like 10 and picking up a huge James Michener novel or Stephen King novel - i could follow the plot fine and appreciate some nuance but definitely wasn't catching All nuance and some really cool literary stuff was going over my head and some details were foggy because I didn't have the vocabulary to grasp them clearly but had a good guess of the rough idea. That's where I'm at when I read stuff "at the level i aim for" which I guess is like 95% comprehension level as far as words per page I know. Guardian and dmbj are about that reading level.

That decent reading level ALSO means I'm probably at the point now where extensive exposure to audiobooks may reap improvements in listening and overall chinese. But I'm just... so lazy. And the instant loss of some comprehension versus my reading level is always a hit to enjoyablility. But I do think now or soon, more extensive listening should be done because I could make genuine improvement JUST doing that. I was watching Hikaru No Go cdrama no subs and I can follow it really well, so I am definitely using chinese subs as a crutch to a degree.

If my japanese level, which is maybe upper beginner or lower intermediate, is good enough to learn from doing extensively for the most part? Then my chinese DEFINITELY is and I'm just lazy when it comes to that challenge lol. Where japanese is more of a mental drain and challenge TO focus and try to learn new things through exposure, my chinese levels okay enough I'm pretty much guaranteed to always follow the main idea and half the details fine. So it's a lot less challenging to just figure out a few new details/words each time I do it. But again... that laziness lol

For chinese sometime soon I'd like to:

Finish reading my poyun manhua volume at home

Rewatch hikaru no go chinese drama adaptation no subs

READ GUARDIAN PLEASE TOT

finish the pingxie fic I'm 1/3 through rereading

Listen to and finish listening to one of the dang audiobooks I'm listening to

Finish reading any of my manhua volumes at home

Read the new dmbj village novel when I get it in mail

Finish reading a volume of ANY chinese novel.

[hiimsociallyawkward]

the darkest hour pt 2

i'm back with my bs. this is for my bestie @lady-ofmagic-andstars. basically, all of my dumb thoughts while i watched 'darkest hour pt 2', 04.02 of merlin. in case you weren't aware.. ✨spoilers✨

right off the bat i'm sad

ok when i first watched this i was really confused. i mean, you see others when they interact with the dorocha have that perpetual frost on their face right? all of them, every single one. so imagine my surprise when merlin has no frost on his face, and he's miserable yea- but he's not dead??

like tbh, watching this again, ik why but when i first watched this, i was SO confused.

arthur looks so worried slkdjfalskfsd

him being willing to abandon the mission to get merlin back to camelot to be treated 😔🤪😎🤤🤩 lots of emotions

LANCELOT. of course it's lancelot. santiago is perfect. actually.

merlin looks so SICKLY. it physically pains me to see him like that

okok hahaa. the scene where percival is carrying merlin. i have several notes on that.

1) ik it's supposed to be all 'noble' looking. yk? them walking in slow mo, percival carrying merlin like he's been slained in battle. knights looking knightly

ALL I CAN FOCUS ON IS THE LACK OF PROPER NECK SUPPORT FOR MERLIN. PLS TELL ME I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE.

like pls

second note, idk why this remind me of hagrid carrying harry back

idk maybe that's just me but it feels oddly reminiscent

colin is SO pale my heart is actually hurting for him what the heck

asf;lsdjfa;lsdfj 'take me with you' stop.

dude they ACTUALLY care about each other. i just love them. arthur is so worried rn and while i'm like 'alsjfalsdj i don't want arthur to be sad and worried' we can see just how MUCH arthur cares about merlin.

like yea, we KNOW that they care about each other. but arthur is the prince and merlin's a servant so arthur can't have friends, but they're friends, and they care, and it makes me happy

ok it's sad and everything that merlin's basically dying but is it bad of me that i chuckle at merlin SLUMPED over on his horse?? probably.

but i mean, merlin is already raising himself up so he can sit more comfortably on the horse. ik that doesn't mean that he's in the clear yet, but he's doing a LOT better than the other people who ran into the dorocha. idk where i'm going with this

to quote the destiny and chicken podcast (who i love btw, if you want an awesome merlin podcast, check them out), they stay on arthur's face for SO long after merlin and lancelot leave.

i feel EVERYTHING that arthur is feeling in this moment. he's so pretty

there's another beautiful landscape. i'm not even sorry i'm gonna attach them ALL.

tell me that's not gorgeous

LMAO WHAT IS GWAINE DOING IN THAT TREE.

gwaine is the EMBODIMENT of 'boys will be boys' when he sticks his hand into that tree and gets swarmed by bees.

he's adorable and i love him

ok but also, someone tell me why capes are so hot. someone TELL me.

separate from the episode but on the note of capes being hot, i want a cloak SO BADLY. like the whole gist. floor length, big hooded cloak. why?? it's not like i'm sneaking anywhere but still. ✨cloak✨

ok the line where leon goes 'if anyone can get merlin back to camelot, it's lancelot' and arthur's face?? idk what to make of it. someone help me pls.

ok actually this probably isn't the best reaction shot but someone please help

the only thing i can think of is that arthur momentarily forgot and was reminded that merlin was in danger bc of him?

another thought is that he thinks he should take merlin back instead of lancelot?

ik for a fact you guys are better at analysising this stuff than i am so pls, thoughts?

i love lancelot so much. first time i watched this, i was CRUSHED

him carrying merlin to the lake(?) pond(?) area and then covering him with his cape? i love it

ok idk why but i love the idea of merlin instinctively going towards the water

it makes me think back to how he's made of magic and basically everywhere, espeically nature, has magic and instinctively- he wants to connect with nature as much as he can so his body just puts his hand in the water

a dumber thought i had, his hand is ✨sparkly✨in the water HAHAH

omg when the water called lancelot i deadass thought it was freya. i'm actually dumb i have WATCHED this before and i STILL thought it was freya

'a future that has been written since the dawn of time' makes me so proud but also so sad at the same time

it's like, yes, merlin is going to 'save the world' but it's like he's there just to do that. anyways, i just want him to be happy

MORE SPARKLY

these water spirts are op but also MORE SPARKLY. hehe i thin kthat's so funny

also, i'm literally only like 7 mins in. buckle yourself in

l;askdjflskdjf arthur going into the tunnels with the wilderons?? i miss merlin ouch. AND THE GAJA BERRIES. arthur misses merlin.

ok percival tackling gwaine?? cuties ;))

heheheeh gwaine kicking a skull and then running directly behind arthur for protection?? pls stop. i already love you

HAHA OK. THEM WEARING THE GAJA BERRIES ON THEIR FACE REMINDS ME OF THIS FACE MASK . THAT'S LITERALLY HOW I LOOK WITH THAT THIS FACE MASK ON HAHAA

yes im dumb, but the 5 of them slowly peeking over the rock and then ducking back down?? i love that so much they're so cute

omg what's wrong with me. not these knights literally FEARING their lives and me going 'they're so cute'

ANYWAYS

gwaine you absolute dumbass. smh merlin just took it but you just HAD to stab it. #cancelled

FRICK. YOU. AGRAVAINE.

YES. i have a love hate relationship with gaius, but BUST into the council room. king energy right there

smh gaius you pUSH over.

I LOVE GWEN RIGHT HERE

YES

FIGHT FOR WHAT IS RIGHT

DON'T LET ALL THOSE SMELLY OLD COUNCILMEN PUSH YOU AROUND

THIS IS ACTUALLY QUEEN SH!T RIGHT HERE EVERYONE ELSE CAN LEAVE

stfu agravaine 'gueniviere'. ST F UP

ok gwen. pop OFF

you KNOW that arthur would've fought agravaine on this. GO GWEN for speaking her mind

oh look at me with anotehr fic rec. sort of, not really. ok but this scene with gwen talking about all the villagers remind of this fic called To Love, Honor, and Piss Off by @thenerdyindividual .

ok so it's basically a fic where basically merlin and arthur have this 'arranged marriage' type thing for 3 years, and merlin is arthur's 'common consort'. what that means is that arthur marries merlin as a show of good faith and to learn more about what it means to be a commoner- merlin giving arthur the tea about commoner life

anywAYS. check that our if you want, but i loved it

stfu 'i feel the pain as much as you' agravaine. hop off my dick

YES. GWEN. PLANT THAT SEED OF DOUBT THAT AGRAVAINE MIGHT NOT BE ALL THAT HE SEEMS. i love gwen :,)

wow when she's intellegent with her speaking so everyone HAS to side with her but also respectful so NO ONE can get mad at her?? i stan. i ACTUALLY stan

santiago is so pretty

the PANIC in his voice. i stan.

HAHA AND MERLIN'S SNARKY 'SHH'

merlin is ready to GO. he's like, sorry for almost dying. that was ill advised of me.

i'm actually soft for any displays of friendship ever. what does that mean about me 💀 KIDDING. anyways..

i love the *swing* *duck* 'yea, not as quick as arthur

sa;kfs;akdfj lancelot insisting that merlin go back to camelot and merlin just nOt

LADS

stop rn. lancelot's face when merlin turns away. i am in pAin. I AM SO SAD OVER LANCELOT. PLS LANCELOT.

this isn't exactly, but morgana's paleness from here on out reminded me of merlin when he was literally DYING.

anyways, that's my note on that

like, yes- i get it- morgana is evil now. but idk should i feel bad for her? she looks so pale and ghasty and just :(

aksfhaskdjfas;ldf morgana

HAHA MORGANA IS SO EDGY IN THIS MOMENT. 'I'D RATHER DROWN IN MY OWN BLOOD THAN SEE THAT DAY' SO DRAMATIC. WHY IS SHE SO EMO/GOTH. LIKE IK I SHOULD BE SCARED FOR WHAT THAT MEANS BUT I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING

stfu don't kill gwen i'll KiLl you

agravaine literally needs to die

stop. i am literally SCREAMING when agravaine is asking gwen to meet him in his chambers. PLS. STOP. STOP STOP STOP. I NEED A WHISLTE. I BITE MY THUMB AT AGRAVAINE. HE NEEDS TO SACK THE HATEFUL MANSION. BETTER YET I'LL BURN HIS MANSION

again, someone tell me why capes are so hot. especially these red ones?? i'm in love with them.

ok see this guy?? he just died with the forst on his face. not merlin?? he started getting better. surly that should've tipped them off that merlin was different

merlin's little head quirk when he does magic. ALSFJASLDFJAS MERLIN. NO ONE SAID YOU WERE USELESS. AND IF THEY DID I WOULD BEAT. THEM. UP. GIVE ME ADDRESS RN.

wow. seriously. i'm gonna attach all the pretty landscape pictures

morgana's like 'i'll cut a b!tch'. ok ik morgana's evil and everything, but morgana flinging that guard against the wall is bad ass

oh this is weird but gwen telling agravaine to 'show courage' but the whole room tinted green? ik this isn't harry potter or anything but idk i thought that was interesting. i'm not abt to go into if i think agravaine is a slytherin or what but still

STOP. GET. YOUR. HANDS. AWAY. FROM. HER. I ACTULALY HATE HIM. SHE'S SO UNCOMFORTABLE. BACK THE FRICK UP AGARAVINE.

morgana :( smh you can't deny that morgana and gwen carried for each other and morgana flinging gwen away is making me sad. don't touch me

asldjfasldasd 'you're never alone' elyan i love you

lancelot and merlins being lads. omg no them talking about gwen

lancelot is SO noble. stop this reminds me of Die for you in secret by @emrysofmagic so much right now. not gonna lie. your fic LITERALLY lives in my head rent free and sometimes i think of it and my heart just HURTS in those last few chapeters. PHYSICALLy. i am in pain. anyways.

stop the trope where it's like "i love them, but i just want them to be happy. it doesn't matter if they're with me or not. i just want them to be happy"

I WAS LITERALLY SCREECHING AS MERLIN WAS CALLING KILGHARRAH i'm not even capping

ok so it's been like a month ish since i've watched merlin bc i was waiting for @//f-f-podcast 's destiny and chicken podcast, so i don't exactly what terms kilgharrah and merlin are at right now

still i think it's very sweet of merlin to bow slightly when kilgharrah looks at him

'the bravest and most noble of them all' 🥺

aw. merlin is really saying good bye right now

ok this scene is weird bc like i said, i don't rlly remember how merlin and kilgharrah are right now but it still makes me sad

asldjfslakdjfasd merlin and kilgharrah are old friends now. that makes me happy but sad at the same time

ok the 'it will be an empty world without you, young warlock' kills me.

obviously, we know that even though they butt heads, kilgharrah and merlin both care about each other

not only is kilgharrah being forced to let merlin go right now, but he's making peace with the fact that he'll be alone

the last dragonlord is planning to die. and kilgharrah is going to be alone again, like he was in that cave.

another thing is that if merlin died rn then we would never have aithusia. i'm kinda going on a tangent now but idk this scene is sad

this forest is so pretty

literally just lancelot's face and lancelot in this whole episode.

that's my note

HAHA GWAINE BURNING IS SOCKS

LADS BEING LADS

I LOVE THEM

omg i always see posts about this.

like merlin and lancelot planned that lancelot was going to walk in first and trick them and THEN merlin walked in

that's so funny to me. they're SO dramatic HAHAH

merlin looks so happy

BRO

ARTHUR

JUST HUG

HIM

PLS

STO

P

JUST HUG HIM WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM

Tell me why they actually look MARRIED here. PLS

🥲🥲 SELF SACRIFICING IDIOTS I LOVE YOU BOTH YOURE BREAKING MY HEART

LADS I LOVE THEM

🤠🤠 arthur wanting Gwen to be happy is KILLING ME. He loves her so much

This is so pretty. Honestly like how

Who let merlin have this many pretty landscapes

HOENSTLY

Lajs;dlkfajd buds in a boat together.

This reminds me of going to amusement parks and there’s always that boat ride

They’re the cutest

Ok so they also have this picture. It’s actually 3 pictures spliced together because the episode pans down and it’s really badly spliced (sorry) but LOOk how pretty that is.

WTF

Omg not me literally copying merlin with his slow mo head flick at the wyverns to make them go away

;sldkfjasdlkjasd leon percival and elyan and my heart.

Ok i’m not even gonna try to lie. They all have my heart

Frick you cailleah

Omg i was like ‘gwaine you dumbass’ jK i love him. Pls don’t come for my neck

Asldjfasldjfka ‘i’m prepared to pay whatever price is necessary’

HAHA CAN YOU NOT. WHAT IS WITH THIS CREEPY ‘COME HITHER’ HAND MOTION MS CAILLEAH

Stopp rn. ‘It’s my density

STOP. I AM HOWLING. LANCELOT

WHY

COME BACK

NO NONO PLS. YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME.

stop rn merlin is all alone.

PAN TO ARTHUR WHO IS LITERALLY SURROUNDED BY EVERYONE.

Stop they all look so sad. I’m so sad.

merlin looks like he’s cried

I’m not sure abt arthur with his ‘no man is worth your tears’ type business but still

I am ✨sad✨

I screamed at this picture. I am depressed

Anyways

Gwen’s face is killing me

I’m so sad i don’t even want to write commentaries

Arthur realizing that lancelot only died because he loved gwen

Gwen standing in front of the fire

Aslkdfjasldjfa im so sad

HER STANDING IN FRONT OF THE FIRE ALL ALONE.

I. AM. SO. SAD.

STFU THAT THRONE IS NOT “RIGHTFULLY” YOURS MORGANA

STOP PLS GET AWAY

WHAT IS WITH THIS WEIRD TENSION

PLS DO NOT STAND WITHIN KISSING DISTANCE

IK YOU’RE NOT TECHNICALLY BLOOD RELATED BUT STILL.

PLEASE.

STOP.

I HATE AGRAVAINE

✨we hate agravaine in this house✨

😭😭 not merlin having ANOTHER secret. I’m so sorry bby

Anyways! I’ll be back next week to rant more about the wicked day so I’ll see you then! thanks I love you bye

[chlodani]

This is my brand new Avatar smau. Its a ZukoXF.!Reader pairing. Title: From Then On. . .

Trigger warning: Slight swear warning! Mentions of sex! If you're sensitive to these kinds of things, read at your own risk!

As a bridesmaid, Y/n meets one of the groomsmen (Zuko) at her sister's pre-wedding dinner and hit it off so well, he asks her out. Y/n's sister warns her not to get too close. She decides to follow her advice, but keeping him at arm's length proves more difficult than she expects.

Special Edition Part 5

Part 6 Coming Soon. . .

I am so sorry I haven't updated in awhile guys. I have been extremely busy. And I've also been going through some stuff. Please don't hold anything against me. I will try to update the next part as soon as possible I promise😔

Y/n's P.O.V.

I smiled as I looked at my beautiful sister standing there in her pastel blue wedding dress with butterflies placed accordingly.

I couldn’t believe my big sister was getting married today. It seems like only yesterday we were playing in the small pond in the backyard of our home. Me, her and Daisy. The three sisters to last a life time. Even though she said nothing would tear us apart, its still gonna be hard to see her get married. Its always been her dream. Its always been a dream of mine to, but I’m not so sure I see it happening for me. I straightened out the bottom part of her dress as tears came to my eyes.

“Aviary, you’re so beautiful,” I spoke to her through the tears that wanted to escape.

She smiled, “Thank you –“

She turned to look at me.

“Oh, sweetie, please no tears, -“

She wiped the corner of my eyes.

“I’m about ready to burst and I haven’t even walked to the altar yet,” she said to me in a soft voice.

“I know – I know – I’m sorry, - I just can’t believe you’re getting married. My big sister is starting a life and family of her own,” I told her.

“Well, Sokka and I haven’t started our own family yet, but we’re getting there,” she spoke.

“Its still exciting, - And I can’t wait to officially call you my sister,” Katara said to her giving her a soft hug.

Aviary hugged her back with a smile.

“Awe, thanks Kat,”

“Uh, guys, wow, -“

We looked to the door to see our father standing there.

“You look beautiful darling,” Dad said to Aviary with a hint of tears hidden behind his eyes.

Another smile crossed her ad she looked at him.

“Thanks, Dad,” was all she could say.

Dad cleared his throat.

“Well, everyone’s waiting, - Its time darling,” he said to her.

All she did was nod. A soft smile stayed to my lips as I gave Destiny her bouquet of flowers. Daisy, Katara, Toph and I walked from the room together getting ready to walk down the isle with the grooms men. Which was a little nerve wrecking for me. Seeing as Zuko was the one I was walking down the aisle with. I told Aviary I would try to stay away from dating him, but that’s easier said than done. There’s something so mysterious about him. I just can’t seem to want to stay away.

. . .

During the entire wedding ceremony, Zuko couldn’t keep his eyes off of me. It made me a bit nervous. I was trying to focus my thoughts on Aviary and Sokka getting married, but Zuko was making it impossible. He just kept looking at me, smiling. I swear I caught him wink at me once. To be honest I felt a little awkward. I hope no one noticed. I was over by the desert table, admiring the work Daisy and Suki did on the wedding cake.

“Hey Y/n,”

I jumped hearing Zuko's voice beside me. I couldn’t stop the smile that formed as I looked at him.

“Hey, - Zuko, - I was just admiring the cake my sister and Suki made for Sokka and Aviary,” I said to him a tiny bit nervous.

I cleared my throat looking away from him.

“Y/n Y/l/n, you’re not nervous are you?” he asked as if he caught on.

“Pfft, - No of course not, just – Admiring this cake,”

Zuko chuckled, “Its okay to be nervous – I like you to,”

I didn’t know what to say. All I could do was smile.

“Okay, if we could have everyone’s attention, its time for the first dance of the evening, between my beautiful daughter –“

Dad was starting to tear up. I glanced over at Aviary, who was slightly embarrassed of Dad's reaction.

“And my new son Sokka,” Dad spoke starting a song for them to dance to.

Zuko and I stood there and watched as they started to dance. I waited nervously for the others to start dancing, because I knew Zuko was going to ask me. I tried occupying myself with something else while I waited, but I couldn’t seem to keep my focus on anything else. My stomach dropped as I watched Zuko stand in front of me. He held his hand out to me.

“Well, beautiful, ready to cash in that dance you owe me?” Zuko asked me cleverly.

I nodded to him as I took his hand. He smiled as he led me to the dance floor. He held me in such a gentle caring manner. I can’t see him being the man Aviary described. He seems to me to be such a caring gentlemen who would never hurt anybody. I think it was stupid of his ex-girlfriend to let him go so easily. Well, I won’t make the same mistake. She’s lost out.

Anonymous P.O.V.

I stood there watching as Zuko danced with my girl. He can’t take her from me. I won’t let him. Y/n is mine! And that’s the way its going to stay.

“What are we gonna do Mai? She took your guy and he took my girl!” I spoke to her in a quite upset tone.

“Patience – We’ll have them right where we want them soon enough,” Mai said back to me quietly.

All I did was grunt as I looked back at Y/n.

Taglist:

@cece-lives-here

@saur20

@xbarrjallenx

@todayiwantabrownie

@charlenasaxen

If you'd like to be added to my taglist, just reply or message me. I'd be more than happy to add you

[witchysleepingbeauty]

Hi, Reversed✖️ here. I really would like to hear your opinion on how to sort out this difficult and sad situation

I can't deal with it alone anymore, especially to analyze it objectively

So um my parent, in front of a guest, took out their anger on me ie screaming, totally losing it, cursing me out coz I took a half min to fetch smth (I was already doing smth else for them) aka huge, nasty reaction. This was def not coz of the delay in the errand btw

Started ranting real ugly, getting louder and angrier (in front of the guest yay me right?😄) Ik my parent (P) has underlying issues (pain in their body which they always refuse to get treated for at a hospital whenever I suggest so (and if I offer to massage or bring an Ice pack I get passive aggressive snide remarks for 'pretending to care and be helpful'))

Any way screw that. My point is Law-related. so in this ugly rant (in which ofc parent brings up shite about me, personal effing shite), they shouted how I have 'no goal' in life bla bla among other things

Per EIYPO, is this a reflection of their own limiting beliefs/issues (eg lately all they do is complain with venom abt how things never turn out okay and how 'everything's messed up' etc. So it definitely could be how they feel)... OR is the, somewhat humiliating rant, an indicator of my inner reality and deep buried assumptions?

Tbh l want to cry, especially coz ik they're being like this coz of bodily pain, and ik they're not feeling great being like this either

Sadly, I'm getting triggered. Up until last year, I used to be in a very dark place. I'm working on my self now, and for the most, I'm better equipped to deal with my personal issues (the Law helped me realise how assumptions, thoughts could help me see a point in living; aka it gave me hope). Now even limiting time with P isn't enough. I tell myself idc what they keep saying about me, but I can't stop them (I mean if I talk back, it gets worse yk? If I try to explain, I hear this classic one "Oh so YOU'RE perfect right? You're the only perfect person in the world"... Yeah, it gets old real fast)

It's lame, upsetting. I don't wanna fall in the deep end again. Btw I've always been the one who's listened to P when they want to vent or wanna discuss their interests (even if I'm not that interested, coz ik what it's like to not have anyone interested in ur likes lol). Point is, is their behavior (the screaming outbursts and insane cussing + sometimes I do shudder at their scaring-the-yk-what outta-me expressive hatred of my existence - which they themselves have acknowledged btw aka I've heard them tell others how I've made them negative and unhappy... 😐), So is their behavior reflective of their own assumptions about me OR is it MY deep-buried assumptions reflecting in them?

I don't get it. On many damn occasions they've told me I'm the one who's at fault for 'everything' and, you'll like this one, "how I deserve being treated like this"... I've even asked them what I've done to them, but my P has communication issues (which I've taken as smth to learn for myself so I'm happy I could be mature enough to realise what's healthy and unhealthy communication, work on this and be better), which means, unfortunately, it's tough to get a straight answer back other than defensiveness, accusing me of criticising them bla bla nvm that's the old story (and by old I mean literally old), so idk

Like... Eff it all huh? I try to focus on myself and different aspects of my life, minimize confiding stuff about me, learned to not rely on them too much but idk. It's starting to affect me a lot, you understand right?

As I type this, I realise I'm REALLY hurt by P's shouts and their tone of NOT love. I forgive them for their rants, but how can I feel it in my heart that they don't hate me?

Working on your self concept and learning to love yourself after years then being treated like this insanely messed up my mind. What's the point? I'm getting all those old feelings back. It was so hard to yk, stop living in the dark. Eff me ig. Anyway, EIYPO, mb I gotta persist more on setting boundaries? Allow myself my feelings then move on?

Thanks so much, love

Reversed✖️

Please, nothing abt moving out. I already have distanced myself, unconsciously I now realise, from them. I'd really appreciate it if I could understand how to feel better regarding this situation by changing my concepts, or assumptions or at least understand why I'm so affected

First of all I am so sorry you have to go through this every day, I know you’re a beautiful person and it’s not your fault and you do not deserve it.

Now let’s talk about the law. Everything you see in your reality is a reflection of your own inner world. You create everyone and everybody, nobody can have a belief that you haven’t created them to have.

Also I see a lot of limiting beliefs in you “my parent is in pain and they take it out on me”, “my parent has communication issues.”

I know it’s not the easiest thing to deal with but if you want to change the situation you need to stop attaching these labels to your parent and instead changing them to something positive.

I am not going to tell you it will be easy because we are talking about years of trauma and abuse, however I do want to encourage you to not allow them to treat you like that, physically speak up and also to really consider moving away from that person.

I hope this clarifies some things and I wish you the best. If there’s anything else I can help you with feel free to message!