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Stray Kids - Scars || THE FIRST TAKE
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#stray kids#400#skz:gif#createskz#skyehi#usersa#uservasya#meltracks#usersemily#usertheos#adriblr#userjinnie#userlau#usertsu#staydaily#userfairy#userbeepls#linosource#vocalrachasource#3rachasource#seochangbingifs#let's pretend these are all colored the same way dskfjdshf#I am learning#and mostly struggling
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always good to keep a screamhole handy
#danny phantom#danny fenton#college au#ember mclain#this one was a struggle to finish tbh#but the thinking around it is how ghosts handle stress#like#hmm#bc of the way they operate ghosts don’t have human emotional regulation#there is no shoving feelings down#they gotta go OUT#ghost fights and having fun in the ghost zone is usually enough#but in times of big stress sometimes he’s just gotta scream/wail it out#easier to just destress the ghost way yanno#less work#quicker recovery#also in this#displays of power aren’t inherently aggressive but they do affect how much respect you get#he’s just screaming into a mostly uninhabited void#but he’s the ghost king and he wasn’t really thinking#so just like#ghost nukes tf out of this little area#no harm no foul tho
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"is it just me or did he become.. much softer since the last time i saw him?"
bonus sketch:

#the owl house#huntlow#willow park#hunter toh#luz noceda#toh#hunter noceda#hunter deamonne#im obsessed with how soft he became after meeting willow (and gus)#its crazy how different his vibe was early in s2 compared to late s2#this was mostly a hunter art study at first#he's the character i struggle with the most in drawing
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even 2 years ago people still said autism with a whisper. it was also how people sometimes whisper lesbian, like they're afraid of uttering a slur. autistic was either an insult or it was something terrible, a horrible burden only select people endure. "select people" were usually 9 year old boys and skinny white men.
they are not hispanic young adults with a dog and a life and friends. i can make (sustained, calculated, painful) eye contact. with certain people, i don't even have to count how many seconds i am holding their vision - i can just look at them. i can wear clothes that bother me, i will just have a worse day than usual. i might cry about any changes to my schedule - but change is scary! this is normal!
when i was 16 it was OCD. i mean that was the thing everyone said. i totally have ocd. they would arrange 6 colors of gel pen in rainbow order (no worry for indigo feeling left out) and they'd be "so ocd" about it.
if you struggle with intrusive thoughts, be careful at this next paragraph, but. at 16 i developed a compulsion that involved self-harm. my ocd was convinced i was simply forgetting that i'd hurt someone terribly - a thought that persisted for no clear or delineated reason.
at some point i will probably write about how the idea of "morally pure thoughts" was hell for me and others with ocd, but this was the odd dichotomy for many of us: they liked our "aesthetic", but were genuinely repulsed by our lived experience. "intrusive thoughts" now means "cutting your hair in the sink" instead of talking yourself down from believing horrible things. "so ocd" is a label without any true understanding.
it's something i've talked about before - in multiplicity - but i firmly believe in the veracity and necessity of self-diagnosis. i think it saves lives and it saves tragedies from occurring. as someone raised in a house that wasn't safe, self-diagnosis was, for many years, the only viable option. 15 and honestly googling: am i depressed or are there demons affecting my behavior.
but it is not genuine self-diagnosis anymore, most of the time. it is a strange, blanched version of that whispered word autism. now certain traits are constantly seen as "autistic" - any passing intense interest. any flubbed social interaction. people say it while laughing - a touch of the 'tism.
and i like the acceptance! i do. i like that people are talking about it. i like that if i self-identify, more people speak up and say me too, bitch. but there is something-else quietly happening, the way it happened to OCD. the quirky, "fun" parts have been washed and sanitized and removed of all suffering. now it is just something that makes you "a little bit silly."
it took me 27 years on this planet before i learned to make friends. something about me just seems incredibly odd, i guess, some kind of radiation monitoring. someone once (in a way that was almost friendly) told me i am doing the right things, but in a way that's off-putting. i have scoured myself raw attempting to be charming.
someone on tiktok does a deep dive into their particular passion. the top comment says "what kind of autism is this lol". like we are a breed of animal. like it has no influence on our experience. like our life is a fresh breeze, an open meadow.
more often for me, life was a drowning.
#warm up#spilled ink#writeblr#it's hard to explain bc i do like the acceptance but it's like the ocd thing#autism is . an entire neurotype. yes we get 'cool autism powers' but we mostly say that#for OUR sake. on the autism website.#the cool autism powers do come with like. quality of life problems.#girl being in a room with LEDs gives me a headache. so you can kind of imagine how that might#in some way#influence my ability to function#will defend self diagnosis to the death as long as it is CLEAR AND LEGITIMATE. not like.#oooo i struggle talking 2 women i must be autistic#girl what. i struggle with the act of TALKING.
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I just realized. One thing that Optimus will certainly be educated on by the Primes in the Haunted AU is the various was One Can Kill A Quintesson! Leaving some Autobots confused at times when he's teaching them in return because 'This sounds pretty Specific...???'
It's slightly competitive on the Primes' part because yeah, the Deceptions do got the High Guard being good at killing Quintessons too but. They're the Real Experts. (Are they salty? Naaaah they're not. Much. Kinda.)
AKJSHDK YEAH YOU'RE SO RIGHT I LOVE THAT <333
they got so good at squishing the goddamn bugs and they're thrilled they can save Optimus the pain of figuring out their weak points through trial and error like they did. they're gonna make a pro out of their baby brother in no time.
and if they just so happen to know some of the Decepticons will be majorly pissed off at the fact OP is already on par with the best of what used to be the High Guard when he only has a fraction of their experience... well, happy coincidences, y'know?
and if they happen to teach Optimus how to crack open a Quintesson in just the right way to make some Decepticons see ghosts through him... that's between them and the people they're haunting :)
haunted au
#hey i got an ask#funsizedkola#transformers#transformers one#tf one#optimus prime#tf jazz#haunted au#my art#i am. so sorry this took so long. there's literally no good explanation i don't know where time went OTL#on a different note!#this ask reminded me of one of my favorite tf fics ever. it's called 'Nor Is He Early' and it features a delightful version of the matrix#and the role of prime that i haven't found anywhere else#it isn't really that similar to this au but it does feature OP being able to access the memories of previous holders#and some of those memories are about how to kill quintessons and all the trauma that comes with that#delighful i tell you#i think in this au optimus *can* access memories from the thirteen#but they just prefer to teach him the normal way#mostly because they think it's better from optimus to learn things in his own body rather than from someone else's memory#but also because those memories are Not Good. optimus is already going through his own war and they'd rather he not carry#memories from another one he wasn't even alive to live through#and if he struggles to pick something up they prefer to show him through memories of sparring they did with each other#and the high guard than to show him real battles#they Know it's no use. optimus had already died once before they even met him. they won't be able to protect him from this war#nor any other that comes next. but still they can't help but try#so... yeah ajshdjksa
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so this corkboard is actually too small and says nothing but if hypothetically i drew up a bigger version and the notes Did say something. what would it be
#ramble#jayvik#mostly bc i want to draw that photobooth strip properly it would be precious#this is for you anon i see you i'm coming don't worry#i have some of them done i'm mostly struggling with the notepad#someone suggested 'baby proof the house and husband proof the house' which is HILARIOUS#someone else said a very sappy love letter from one of them which is ADORABLE#i think they would 100% write a reassuring letter for eachother before The Canon Event but they'd probably be put away somewhere#can't have any vulnerability on the wall
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ms paint palette jinx
#honestlu bright colors are just her kind of thing they didnt seem too saturated when i was drawing#mostly struggled w lack of values#i lowk want to do more arcane characters next#my artwork#digital art#ms paint palette#jinx arcane#jinx fanart#arcane#arcane season 2#artists on tumblr#eyestrain
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There's so much wrong with "everyone is a little bit autistic"
Yes, allistic people might know a lot of facts about the things they like. Yes, allistic people might get a bit overwhelmed or underwhelmed sometimes. Yes, allistic people might not get an expression sometimes, mostly if it's the first time they hear it.
That doesn't make them autistic.
Those traits only make someone autistic when they become disabling. Because, big shock, autism is a disability. Yeah, even if someone is low support needs, because that doesn't mean they don't need any support at all.
Saying "everyone is a little bit autistic" is like saying "everyone struggles with this, so suck it up, you have no right to need help". Which is just pure ableist bullshit. It denies the fact that autistic people have higher support needs than NTs, no matter where in the autistic spectrum they are. We're not "neurospicy", we're disabled, and denying this fact is denying us the right to get the help we need, we deserve, to have a good life.
(yes, this rant is just because I made the awful decision of listening to "neurospicy (interlude)" by Jax. honestly I'd rather be called a slur than listen to that shit again.)
#for this disability pride month burn an ableist person's house#that's what makes you a true disability ally trust#btw with nts i mean mostly abled nts but i didnt know how to word it ;w;#and before anyone says anything im just fine with people calling themselves neurospicy#what i have a problem with is when NTs use it as a way to invalidate neurodivergent people's struggles#or to infantilise nds#or both#autism#actually autistic#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#neurodiverse stuff#autistic#neurodivergency#autistic experiences#autistic things#actually autism#ableism#ableist language cw#tw ableist language#tw ableism#neurospicy (interlude)#disabled pride month#disability pride month#wrath month#(<-just tagging that bc it's accurate since im currently pretty pissed off)
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Fellas..... I might have gotten a new muse
I have also once again remembered to timelapse, so utc,,,
#castlevania#castlevania nocturne#alucard#alucard tepes#midnight drawings#tw flashing#mostly at the end of the timelapse where I had a struggle tweet moment with the bg#looks like flashing a bit so juuuuust in case#drawing his hair is enrichment for me#I KEEP FORGETTING TO PRESS THAT RECORD BUTTON ON TIME
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PLEAS PLEAS PLLEEEEAASSSS
Can you draw some pete content?? 🙌🙌🙏🙏🙏🙇🙇🙇
THAK YOU IF ITS YES
sure!!
#the eltingville club#welcome to eltingville#pete dinunzio#💌 -- handmade postcard#//happy new year!!!! <3#//my fav guy i love peter sm....#//most of the stuff is from this month bcs all the older art is either bad or he is interacting with some character oops#//this took stupidly long to answer i'm sorry... i struggled with the illustrations but still went on and made 2 to apologize#//a small sidenote i do the rqs by chronological order mostly so if i take some time you know why#//tho i'll reply to some non art ones when i get to... there's some i'll go around
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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 1: Dread on Arrival
(Part 2)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#jiang fengmian#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#Yungmeng Jiang Training Arc AU#MDZS AU#The AU name for this idea is something I am 100% willing to change if someone has a better one.#There will be at least 2-3 more comics so *please*. Ideas and feedback welcome.#The core idea behind this AU is that LWJ goes to study with the Yunmeng Jiang sect instead of JC and WWX going to Cloud Recess#But why? Well I imagine Lan Xichen set it up to give LWJ a challenge (more social than skill based) and LWJ rose to it (begrudgingly)#Sort of a 'You've mastered so many Lan techniques but Other Sects have styles that are worth learning.' set up.#Lan Qiren agrees mostly on the basis that...well it's LWJ. Yunmeng Jiang is unruly but LWJ is beyond that riff-raff. He'll rise above it.#This is the story of a boy who thrives on routine and rules spending time in a place that is his apparent antithesis.#Also it is so warm there. He is used to it being cold and what do you MEAN just take off some of my layers?#I just want to see him struggle and flail in many situations. And get him in Jiang Purple. Is that so wrong of me?#(Soaking wet JC is part of my 'JC was born to swim; forced to hold a sword' agenda. Do not remove him from the water)#((Politeness notes: JFM would *not* call LWJ 'lan wangji' nor would LWJ be vocally impolite to a sect leader.))
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i flew too high, please catch my fall
#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#vashwood#tsunosagun art#i struggled with this so bad omg but i like the ideas behind it#took inspo from solar flares for vash and used andean condor wings for ww#the pose isnt exact but the hand on the back.. u already know what scene i was thinking of#edit: added link to the song i took partial inspo from cuz why the hell didnt i do that in the first place tbh#i will say the inspo was mostly the lyrics and that the music itself isnt the vibe i was going for#side note i can see vash as icarus as well (see: icarus by bastille)#(and the idea of an ambition that will kill you wrt to his promise to rem and how his decision to break it is like falling to earth etc)#which makes me go oughhHGHHH
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starting a new project is basically committing to one of two equally chaotic paths. you either:
a) spend weeks meticulously outlining every plot point, character arc, and worldbuilding detail, only to abandon it halfway through because the vibes took you somewhere else entirely, OR
b) you raw-dog the whole thing, trusting your brain to 'figure it out,' and end up with a draft that’s half literary brilliance and half 'what the hell did i mean by this note that just says "cows are symbolic."'
either way, you're writing by the seat of your pants, but one path comes with a fancy map you’ll never actually use.
#im both a pantser and plotter. mostly a pantser though#writing#writeblr#writer problems#writing humor#writers on tumblr#writing memes#writing community#writing struggles#writer life#creative writing#writer things#writing motivation#ao3 writer#writer memes#writing is hard#on writing#writerblr#writers block#writing funny#writer thoughts#fiction writing#writer struggles#writing tips#writing advice#writer woes#writing woes#writer quotes#writing inspiration#plot problems
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Work has been stressing me out so I only have these face studies
Can you tell which characters I love drawing the most—
#across the spiderverse#atsv#atsv fanart#spider man: across the spider verse#hobie brown#miles morales#gwen stacy#pavitr prabhakar#atsv hobie#atsv miles#atsv gwen#atsv pavitr#Spiderman#I feel like I draw them ‘good’ but I still don’t know if it like… Looks like the characters. If that makes sense#I’m trying to get them to be more recognizable and true to the character but I struggle with it. I think it’s mostly the face shapes#gaaaaah
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🌙💤🐵 monkees in a pile! (or, the reason why Mike gets such little sleep these days..)
#churro art#my art#digital art#illustration#fanart#the monkees#peter tork#mike nesmith#michael nesmith#davy jones#micky dolenz#HEHEHE OHHHH MY GOD IM SO HAPPY WITH THIS ONE#otherwise titled Lets keep mama up all night#exposing myself bec I literally just drew Peter in the same sleeping position I'm always in >.>#i wont lie i struggled? a lil with the coloring in the previous pajamas drawing#but this time it felt a lil more natural and like it came out wayy more smoothly!!#idk im just really satisfied with it HAHAH especially since I also struggled w the bed and everything at the beginning..#man im glad the bed sheets ended up looking like sheets cos i SWEAR they just looked like blobs of color at the beginning LMAO#im just really happy this turned out so well#i mostly drew this for comfort bec i've had some pretty stressful and anxious past weeks ngl...#so i love getting a chance to draw something goofy or silly just to cheer myself up a bit!#despite my circumstamces atm drawing these fellas has been such a joy i love em i CARE em.....#as you can tell im also addicted to drawing all of them together. they come in a pack Sorry. do not seperate.#oh and I feel like this is the closest i've gotten to achieving a legitimate looking storybook style!#everything before has felt like doodles but this feels closer to something I'd love to draw for a storybook ;P
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doing chibi is a good design exercise bc it forces u to think on shapes n essential details, essentially thumbnailing ur designs. its also a terrible design exercise bc it ends up looking cute no matter what
#dimension 20#fantasy high#riz gukgak#very specifically class swap bard!riz#fh class quangle#mm. I may need tags for all the asides Ive been doing lmao#riz's canon design is so coherent and thematically clean that I genuinely struggle to keep up...#bard!riz's whole thing is working out his identity through abject fear so it kiiiinda makes sense that hes got a different thing going#on every year I guess? like lmao the directive I go into each of these designs with changes vastly#freshman bard!riz has to look extremely nonthreatening. and also make you wanna pick him up and chuck him at a wall#annoyingly inoffensive. slides off your memory pretty much immediately. a void of an experience#crucially Does Not Show Teeth While Smiling#sophomore year bard!riz I have been keeping the like. cameraman direction for#I want him to be swimming in clothes a little bit... he kinda lands at like. 80s/90s shlocky horror protag too which I do like#bc what is season 2 to riz if not a horror story lmao#junior year bard!riz I want to be somewhere between clark kent and tintin#the journalist aesthetics is not so clear and easy to build as the detective or spy aesthetics...#but also I just. really like boy journalist lmao this is the BD blood speaking again#and! I actually do draw his hair differently than in my canon junior year riz stuff. its a bit shorter here so it doesn't#obscure as much of his face#its so funny actually going from drawing canon stuff to class swap esp. with riz bc he's smiling SO much here#and it's 100% trained like its crucial for u guys to know he is equally if not more fucked up as a bard#barely anybody can wrangle him in canon it's already been mostly him keeping himself on track. imagine if he actually learned how to act#mmm. I think these designs are still gonna soft change as I draw them. thats fine we have fun#drawing sophomore year bard!riz for those comiclets was fun as hell. I think on this factor alone I call it a success lol
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