lovesickonmain · 2 years ago
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god i mean me moving to europe is to avoid all of my extreme academic failure (on my second suspension 🤪) but i’m writing it off to my family as my just taking an opportunity i want to, but i just wanna drop out, learn german, move to vienna and get a stewardess job. i don’t need a degree, but my family is big on education (am i’m aware of my privilege concerning this) and i might be able to convince myself to do what i want because who cares what my parents think it’s my life, but my brother would be disappointed and i’ve always idolized him and just want him above anyone else to be proud of me. he’s not happy i’m “taking another year off” and he certainly wouldn’t be happy if i dropped out. oh well i am on thin ice with my family finding out about my grades and being furious!! can’t help being the sexy family disappointment
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biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer · 4 months ago
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hiii, could you do geo x idol gn!reader plsplsplsplsplsplsplspslpslpslplspls :33
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Auspicious (Geo x Idol! MC/Reader)
So...I have no fucking clue what an idol is, so I Googled it and went with the X-Pop style. ೭੧(❛▿❛✿)੭೨
Rejoice. I haven't died. Yet. Writing is how I cope with my IRL problems y'all.
- Signed by biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer
Auspicious: promising success; propitious; opportune; favorable. an auspicious occasion; favored by fortune; prosperous; fortunate.
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Geo Oogami is a pretty famous person. Well, his father certainly is. Fame isn’t alien to him, he gets (unfortunately) recognised quite frequently in public, which is often why he tries to wear baggier, less distinguishable clothing in public.
If you’re an idol, or the front(wo)man of a band, you’ll probably have some level of fame in the city.
In Olympieus University, you’re used to people — complete strangers — approaching you out of fucking nowhere to get autographs, selfies or, God forbid, an interview.
You knew that privacy and fame just weren’t something that tended to come hand-in-hand, so you had to respond to these people as politely as possible.
You genuinely felt like a waiter, or even a retail worker, with how careful you had to be of your words with your fans.
Then you had to worry about the ‘bad eggs’ of your followers. The stalkers (Solivan Brugmansia), weird fanatics (Solivan Brugmansia) and even the occasional creeps who kept trying to date you or sleep with you (technically not Solivan Brugmansia but he does go into your residence quite often so it’s enough of a similarity for me).
Geo has definitely heard of you, so when Crowe brings you to the group, he’s already judging you. After all, how many famous people are not pretentious little airheads? He’s perfectly aware of the facades you, and other idols and celebrities, have to upkeep to maintain your status.
After a while, he realises you just want your personal life to be left untouched, and hell, you’re both actually quite similar; so he eventually drops his nastier opinions of you.
He may even secretly watch your performances on YouTube.
May even end up at one of them live, although he’s disguised; it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to understand him being spotted at your event — not to mention you’re both going to the same university — to get people spreading rumours and gossip.
Subaru Oogami SPOTTED at a live pop band CONCERT!!! Secret ROMANCE uncovered?!?!?!
Alas, he would still support you, in ways he knows how, which is through action.
If you ever felt paranoid about your safety, he’d get his bodyguards (or himself >:]) to ‘supervise’ you and the surroundings.
He’d probably walk/drive you home as well, which’ll probably lead to the both of you developing a pretty good sense of camaraderie.
If you did J-Pop, he’d probably be slightly more ‘invested’, solely because he is Japanese, and, well, anybody would like it if someone knew their language who wasn’t of that country’s descent.
If you did Cantopop or K-Pop, would still be interested, and would ask if you’re of the country’s descent.
You both maybe even end up talking about languages and your respective cultures.
One day, when you have writer’s block, you realise: it’s Geo’s birthday on one of your shows. What if you wrote a more preppy celebratory song for him?
“Oh my God. I’m actually fucking awesome.” - You
So, say that day comes, you sing ( in Japanese, if you didn’t know it you got tutored by Hyugo dwdw) said song.
And dear god it is a hit; such a hit 2 people died from getting trampled by other viewers at the venue!!! :DD
Anyway, Geo is probably going to suspect something’s up, but won’t say anything.
Until he gets annoyed with his unbounding curiosity and asks you about it anyway.
Your face became that of a zooted horse when he spawned behind you and asked whether that song was dedicated to someone you knew.
You forgot how to talk, so you mumbled a yes so you didn’t just stare at a random tree in the distance.
Geo’s actually not that judgy of you, in fact he has to stifle a grin at that.
He becomes more fond of you, after all, he thinks you genuinely care about him now, so he’s inclined to no longer be so distant with you.
Plot twist: he actually has a thing for you. *insert audible, dramatic gasp from every single reader here*
You ask him out through another song, one that you played privately this time (is it hard walking on stage with those balls of steel mate?).
So that’s how you both start dating.
And because you’re both rich, you both buy things for each other, like all the time.
Although the more the relationship progresses, the more domestically-inclined Geo becomes.
He’s the type to cut fruit for you or bluntly ‘comfort’ you if you’re anxious before a performance.
In short? Banger relationship…
Oh…I forgot. You both keep it secret. You both don’t want the paparazzi to stalk you guys, especially while you’re both in uni. That’d be horrible.
Still a banger relationship though. <3
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Fallout 4 companions as surgeons in a medical drama
This post has been brought to you by my old Grey's Anatomy hyperfixation clawing its way out out of the basement in my brain
Minus Strong because God no do not let Strong do surgery in any universe
Cait- Orthopedic surgeon, do not fuck up in her OR because it will not end well for you
Codsworth- Pediatric surgeon. He's very good with his paitents, good with teaching residents
Curie- Head of Cardio. Godlike in the OR, very passionate about her clinical trials.
Danse- Trauma surgeon. Used to be a surgeon in the military. Can save a guy you're sure is going to be dead.
Deacon- Plastic surgeon, focus on reconstructive surgery. Probably does free cleft pallet surgery for kids.
Hancock- Not technically a surgeon but Hancock is an anesthesiologist. Cracks jokes in the OR. Has probably "accidentally" taken drugs from work home with him.
Maccready- Surgical resident, interested in pediatric surgery.
Nick- Head of General Surgery. Has seen a lot of shit in all his years of being a surgeon, very little surprises him anymore. Very calm in the OR, if he's worried everyone is worried.
Preston- Heart Surgeon. Amazing bedside manner, probably cries when he loses a paitent, does probono surgery.
Piper- Another surgical resident like Maccready, not sure what she wants to specialize in. Potentially interested in neuro but a little scared of X6
X6-88- Neurosurgeon, hardly ever says a word in the OR, no one knows anything about his personal life. Scares the shit out of the residents. Very talented, it you ask him about his research he'll show emotion around you
Bonus
Gage- Gage lost his license to medical malpractice
Elder Maxon- Nepo Baby Resident. Piper and Maccready talk shit about him behind his back. X6 yelled at him in the OR and he will never live it down.
Desdemona- General surgeon, been there almost as long as Nick, she is so tired.
Father- Used to be the head of neuro, got fired for something that the board is keeping on the down low. Even acting head X6 doesn't know what exactly he did.
DiMA- Radiologist, doesn't seem to have left the scan room in months, does he live there?
Dogmeat- therapy dog, we love you Dogmeat
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peepoo79 · 3 months ago
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Cringe-ass American Psycho AU under cut 👁️👁️
Anyway as I previously alluded to, this mf silly ass idea has been in my brain for a while. Fuck it. Hospital AU. Been watching too much House MD lately. Anyway:
Patrick Bateman:
General surgery. Graduated Harvard medical school. Tried to match into plastic surgery but didn’t make the cut. Didn’t make the cut for cardiothoracic surgery either. Ended up settling for general surgery.
Went into medicine because doctors make a lot of money and have a lot of status. Probably wouldn’t have gotten through medical school if it weren’t for the connections is father has—nepotism at its finest. His father is on the board of directors for the hospital he works at—his last name, unfortunately, keeps him out of a LOT of trouble.
Horrific bedside manner. He’s attempted to sleep with patients on multiple occasions (and succeeded several times), has had countless malpractice lawsuits thrown at him, and frequently leaves his patients feeling uncomfortable. Has been known to purposefully under-anesthetize patients and recommend completely unnecessary procedures just because he’s bored.
That being said, his behavior with patients varies WILDLY. He’s on good behavior if he perceives his patient as being of high status (still unintentionally makes them uncomfortable, but only because he is trying SO HARD to make them like him that it backfires. Think the Tom Cruise elevator interaction from the book. That sort of behavior). However, if they fall into the category of people Patrick regards as “lesser,” the difference is stark. He tends to take his anger out on these sorts of patients.
Still a sadistic bastard. Unfortunately, his job allows him pretty easy access to inflicting agony on unwilling subjects and getting away with it. In some ways, he’s a lot more flagrant with his unacceptable behavior than he is in the source material. Perks of being in a profession like surgery I guess.
Treats the nurses terribly, has slept with a lot of them.
Only reason he hasn’t gotten fired is, once again, nepotism. Seriously, this guy sucks
Jean:
Registered nurse, works under Patrick.
Is aware that Patrick is not favored by his patients. Unaware of the extent of his depravity.
Poor girl needs a hug :(
Despite the shit she’s regularly put through (dealing with patients, dealing with Patrick, dealing with his equally insufferable colleagues), still manages to keep a mostly positive attitude.
Originally wanted to go to medical school but didn’t like the idea of having to spend so much of her youth in school. Decided on nursing—she felt that she could make a better positive impact doing that, anyway.
Paul Owen:
Graduated from Yale. Plastic Surgeon. Has his own practice but occasionally gets called in to the hospital the others work at to handle trauma cases.
Everything Patrick wanted to be. Has everything Patrick wanted to have—rich and beautiful clientele, a flexible work schedule, social prestige.
Well liked by his colleagues and his patients. Actually treats the nurses and other staff well.
Tim Price:
Cardiothoracic surgeon. Went to medical school with Patrick.He’s the closest thing to a friend Patrick has—they were roommates throughout med school
Patrick seems to almost look up to him in a way—probably because in his mind, he’s “higher status”and more successful.
Arrogant but generally tolerated by his colleagues.
Has slept with a lot of the nurses. By extension, has made a lot of enemies out of the nurses.
Completely unaware of Bateman’s…issues. He doesn’t think he’d have the spine to do anything too absurd, despite the malpractice lawsuits Bateman regularly complains to him about (thinks the patients are just trying to get money out of him, probably)
Still not a very nice guy, he says a lot of shit about his patients behind their backs that’s DEFINITELY a violation of doctor-patient confidentiality
Evelyn Richards:
Pharmaceutical sales rep. Met Patrick shortly after he graduated med school, went for him because he’s young, handsome, and has disposable income.
Comes from an already wealthy family.
Still having an affair with Price.
Squeamish—won’t let Patrick talk about any of the work he does. So much as the mention of a scalpel and she’s nauseous. Obviously, Patrick makes it a point to describe his cases in graphic detail because if this.
Courtney Lawrence
In administration. Also unaware of Patrick’s fuckass behavior.
Still dating Luis. Still cheating on Luis with Patrick.
Honestly, not much to change for her
Luis Carruthers
Psychiatrist. Frequently feels a bit left out since the others don’t regard him as a “real doctor”
Still very infatuated with Patrick
Liked by his patients, but regarded as a bit dense by his colleagues
Well liked by the nurses—occasionally brings in baked goods for them! One of the only ones out of the group that actually shows his appreciation for the non-MD members of the hospital staff
David Van Patten
Orthopedic surgeon, arrogant and jockish.
Went to med school because he was pressured into it by his family. Went into ortho because he thought it was “easiest”
Craig McDermott
ENT specialist. “Friends” with Patrick, although most of their interactions are petty squabbles and constant attempts at one-upping the other
Takes pride in his work, but mainly because he makes a lot of money. In medicine for basically the same reasons as Patrick, but is, y’know….normal about it.
Anyway that’s all I’ve got for now. This is super duper self indulgent LMAO
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smileydk · 1 year ago
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''Noona and Hyung should marry!''
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Pairing: Idol!Beomgyu x OC
Summary: Beomgyu has to work at a kids café for some kind of promotion for his band. Jiwoo is partially forced and partially happy to bring her newphew to the very same kids café.
cw/tw: fluff, crack, k-drama shit, oral (m, f), fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it if you wanna tap it), car sex, tummy bulge, kissing, hickeys, orgasm denial (kind of?)
Note: Based on the youtube video obviously. Not gonna be exact since we need some romance.
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''Noona!'' Changmin screamed as he ran through the house.
Jiwoo chuckled to herself. She was playing hide and seek with the boy and was currently sitting in his closet. Changmin had been screaming Noona for 3 minutes while he searched, and Jiwoo had zero intentions to reply.
His small feet could be heard outside the closet, they tapped against the carpet as he ran around the room, looking everywhere he possibly could.
''Noona?'' His voice was breaking.
''Fuck'' Jiwoo mumbled to herself and opened the closet. ''Changmin, I'm here'' She wrapped her arms around his small body and smiled as sweetly as she possibly could.
''Why didn't you answer me when I screamed?'' Changmin glared at the older woman.
Sometimes Jiwoo forgot that Changmin was only 3 since he was very bright, but then again, at moments like these his actual age showed.
''Because we were playing hide and seek. It wouldn't have been fun if you knew where I hid, would it?''
Changmin sniffled and wiped his eyes. He pouted slightly but nodded slowly.
While the two just sat in Changmin’s room his single father, Changkyun, and Jiwoo’s brother peeked inside the room.
''Jiwoo, would you mind taking Changmin to KiCa today? I’ve gotta go to work. Some paper work I, apparently, forgot the other day''
''Wow, the Kim Changkyun didn’t do all his paper work in time? I’m so telling mom about this'' Jiwoo teased.
Changkyun was a brain surgeon. He finished his education at the young age of 30. Despite his young age he was a very skilled surgeon. Jiwoo was proud of him, but she also saw it as her duty to keep his ego to a minimum.
''That didn’t answer my question. Can you take him or not?''
Jiwoo nodded. ''Of course. If I get the car''
Yes. Jiwoo lived with her brother. Why? Simply because they had a great relationship and because she was a broke college student. It was hard to make enough money to live in Seoul while also studying at Seoul university.
Jiwoo had saved since she was a little child so she could get into the best of the best, and she got some money with her scholarship. She wanted to become an attorney, after being 19 and seeing Extraordinary Attorney Woo.
Yes, a k-drama was the reason.
Besides, it was Changkyun’s proposal that Jiwoo moved in with him. His idea was that she could help him out with Changmin, and she gets to live with them. Plus his apartment was close to university.
''But I'm going across town!'' Changkyun exclaimed. ''And you know, it's mine!''
''Fine! Where is KiCa anyways?''
''It takes 10 minutes with the bus, come on, you've been there before! Dumbass. The new workers there are your age. Find a boyfriend'' Changkyun smiled sweetly as he threw on his coat. ''See you later, sis! Might wanna put on something other than that mini-skirt, it's cold outside''
Jiwoo turned to her nepwhew. ''Your appa is mean, Noona can wear whatever she wants''
''I know, you look pretty, let's go to KiCa!'' Changmin was very excited. He adored the place. He was quick to put on his shoes and jacket. Jiwoo wasn't even by the door when he was done, and the three year old was impatient.
''Noona! Hurry up!'' Changmin jumped.
''Calm down, Changmin-ah, I'm coming. KiCa doesn't open for another 20 minutes'' Jiwoo put on her favorite knee-high boots. They were a gift from Changkyun on her birthfay, and she basically lived in them at ths point. And then she threw on her leather jacket.
''Noona looks like a kpop idol. But Noona is also the slowest person on this planet'' Changmin complained as Jiwoo finally opened the front door.
''Yah, I can also stay home which means you have to stay home'' Jiwoo raised a daring eyebrow.
''Sorry Noona! Let's go, please'' He pouted.
''Aish, fine'' The woman couldn't say no when he pouted.
A small, happy squeal left Changmin's lips as they got on the bus. He hadn't seen his friends in so long! He missed them so much. He also really wanted to play in the dirt! And have P.E with the work-Hyung.
As they got off the bus, and Changmin bowed politely at the driver, he broke into a sprint. The Kids Café was right by the bus stop. Jiwoo chuckled slightly as she jogged to catch up.
Changmin pulled gently at the door to check if they'd opened. The door opened with ease and the boy's smile widened. He rushed towards the elevator and immediately pressed the button.
''Noona, hurry! The elevator will be here any second! I wanna meet Juhyeon!''
Jiwoo chuckled as she nodded. She sped up her walk and reached the boy just as the elevator dinged, signaling it was on their floor.
Changmin quickly pushed the button to the KiCa floor and the elevator doors closed. As the display showed the floors ticking by Changmin only grew more excited.
Jiwoo had been at the KiCa before and she knew the ones who worked there, kind of. According to Changkyun there were a few new faces, but when they entered she spotted the old workers, and an unfamiliar head.
He turned around and Jiwoo's eyes were as wide as saucers.
''Choi Beomgyu'' She mumbled to herself.
''You must be Changmin'' He smiled and leaned down to put a name sticker on the boy's chest.
Changmin nodded happily, not frightened by the unfamiliar face. He had always loved meeting new people. He was a social butterfly. ''Yeah! I'm Changmin, what's your name, Hyung?''
''Beomgyu'' Beomgyu smiled as the three year old nodded, before he quickly walked into the playroom to join his friends in whatever they were doing.
Jiwoo took a seat in the café area. She got herself a fruit tea before pulling out her phone. She was usually bored out of her mind since Changmin spent the full hour at this place, and she couldn't leave during that one hour.
She was facing the little window they had, which showed the play area. She chuckled to herself as Beomgyu clearly tried his best at bonding with the children, without much success.
Beomgyu looked up from his failed bonding attempt and spotted the laughing girl. He raised an eyebrow at her and crossed his arms. Jiwoo tried her best to not laugh at him, but it was hard when he pouted like a five year old kid.
Changmin spotted his Aunt looking through the window with an amused grin. ''That's my Noona. Appa says she's single and needs to find a boyfriend. Hey, you're pretty, are you single?''
Beomgyu raised an eyebrow. ''Changmin, your Noona is very pretty''
''Wait here'' Changmin stood up. He dusted off the dirt on his clothes before he rushed out to Jiwoo.
''Changmin, what did you do?''
''Work-hyung, I can't remember his name, thinks you're pretty! Come on, I'll introduce you!'' Changmin grabbed Jiwoo's skirt and tugged gently.
''Changmin, I can't be in there. I can talk to him la-''
Before Jiwoo could finish her sentence Changmin had walked back into the playroom. He walked straight up to Beomgyu, who had now managed to make a little girl cry, grabbed his arm and gave it a harsh tug.
''I'm gonna introduce you to Noona!''
Beomgyu's only thought was that at least one child seemed to like him, even if it was because he wanted to match him with his Noona.
He pulled him outside and forced Beomgyu to sit. ''Get to know each other. I'm gonna play with Juhyeon'' Changmin smiled sweetly before taking of once more.
Jiwoo looked after her nephew with a confused look. She had no idea what his plan was, but she was sure she didn't like it.
Beomgyu also looked quite confused. ''You're a mom!?'' Was the first thing he exclaimed. Not "hi" like the normal person would.
''Aren't you too young to be a mom? And too beautiful?'' He continued and winked before he leaned back, trying to act cool.
A small chuckle left Jiwoo's lips. ''Nope, I'm his aunt. Why he calls me Noona is a mystery. And do you mean mom's aren't beautiful?'' She raised an eyebrow.
She was born a tease. It didn't make it better that she was almost 10 years younger than her older brother, meaning she could tease without any consequence.
''No! I didn't mean it like that- don't twist my words!'' Beomgyu sat up with furrowed eyebrows. He enjoyed meeting someone who a) weren't his members and b) someone who didn't treat him like a global superstar.
''I'm not twisting your words. I'm creating my own interpretation'' Jiwoo shrugged and put her phone away as well as her Airpods.
''So, Ms. Tease, got a name?''
''Yeah, don't you? I thought everyone had a name'' Jiwoo raised her eyebrow again, knowing very well that she probably got on his nerves.
''I would like to know it if you would like to tell me'' Beomgyu took a deep breath. She was a bit too good at teasing.
''Kim Jiwoo, I know you're Choi Beomgyu. Must say, big fan, and you look damn taller without the other giants in your group'' Jiwoo stretched out her hand for Beomgyu to shake. ''What is Mr. Superstar doing here? At KiCa? And what in the world did you do to make that girl cry?''
''I'm here... why am I here? I have no idea. And she started'' Beomgyu mumbled in an accusing tone, as if he wasn't almost four times her age.
''Ah yes, the four year old girl probably deserved a grown man fake-crying in her face'' Jiwoo chuckled as Beomgyu tried explaining himself. ''I think that's some kind of record''
Beomgyu narrowed his eyes at her. ''You're actually worse than Yeonjun-Hyung''
''It's a talent'' She flipped her hair dramatically, causing it to whip Beomgyu in the face.
''Are you always this rude?'' Beomgyu raised and eyebrow and leaned closer to her.
''Yep'' Jiwoo wouldn’t admit it, but he made her a little nervous.
''Beomgyu-ssi, I told you to clean the shoes. It's a punishment for making a girl cry'' One of the, female, workers scolded Beomgyu.
''Fine''
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20 minutes later Beomgyu finished cleaning the children’s, very dirty, shoes. And the other workers decided he'd probably do better in the "P.E" room.
Why?
Mostly boys, and apparently the boys were a bit more hardcore. And because the P.E room was a lot more… well physical and less sitting still.
Beomgyu put name tags on the boys as they lined up after each other.
''Are you a female teacher or a male teacher?'' One of the kids asked, causing Jiwoo to burst out laughing.
''Yah, Seoan, he's clearly a man'' Changmin protected Beomgyu as he spoke. ''Men can also have long hair, and be very pretty!''
''Thank you, Changmin'' Beomgyu patted his head and glared slightly at Jiwoo as she still laughed.
''Yes Beomgyu, you’re a very pretty man'' Jiwoo snickered as Beomgyu still looked a little offended.
''I know. Now stop laughing at me''
Jiwoo raised her hands and nodded.
''Good girl'' Beomgyu disappeared into the playroom with the four boys.
Jiwoo did not enjoy the fact that him calling her that had such an affect on her. Nor did she like that the comment basically went straight to her core.
''Fuck''
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''Yah! You can’t just leave me here!'' Beomgyu whined as the staff and crew from HYBE packed into the car.
''You made a girl cry. Yeonjun said you deserve it'' One if the producers shrugged and closed the car door. ''Here’s a few bills for the bus. Have a good time''
''Hey, Mr. Superstar, need help?''
Beomgyu turned around and found Jiwoo standing in front of him, holding Changmin’s hand.
He was slightly embarrassed, since he came from Daegu he didn’t know the bus system that well Seoul. In his defense they never took the bus in Seoul, someone always drove them around.
''Uhm… yeah?''
''Me and Changmin are heading home and uhm… hopefully Changkyun’s back with the car and I can give you a ride to HYBE. Sounds good?''
Beomgyu nodded. As Jiwoo started walking she missed the fact that Beomgyu didn’t follow her.
Changmin noticed. ''Work-Hyung, you coming or not? And stop staring at Noona’s ass''
Jiwoo chuckled to herself as an awkward cough left the man’s lips, followed by some quick steps.
''Noona and Hyung should marry!'' Changmin exclaimed out of the blue.
The two adults looked at the child. ''No. Noona and Beomgyu are friends. Nothing else''
Beomgyu nodded along.
''No, marry'' Changmin pouted.
Jiwoo sighed and shook her head. Sadly Changmin got the genes everyone in the family had. The ones that basically made it impossible to convince you once you'd decided on something.
After the 10 minute bus ride and another bow from Changmin to the bus driver the three found themselves in Changkyun’s luxury apartment.
''Oppa~''
''Yes I’m home, yes you can borrow the car. Key’s in the bowl. Hello Beomgyu''
Changkyun looked up from his phone and waved at Beomgyu.
Beomgyu and Changkyun went to the same high school. Changkyun remembered Beomgyu as a small, adorable, shy nerd.
Now he was 6’1 tall, grew out his hair, grew some muscle, could sing, his voice dropped about 4 octaves, and he wasn’t as shy anymore.
''You got a glow-up. You look a lot better in long hair'' Beomgyu smiled and bowed.
''Thank you~ I’m giving Beomgyu a ride to the HYBE building''
Changkyun smirked. ''Condoms in the glovebox''
Jiwoo flipped him off as she exited the apartment. Beomgyu only followed, and chuckled slightly at Jiwoo’s red cheeks.
During the few hours he’d known her she’d only been an ass, a teasing ass, not that he minded. She was fun to hang out with. But now Ms. Cocky was blushing over something as simple as condoms.
''So… if you’re a fan, whatcha think about my longer hair?''
Jiwoo totally forgot the fact that she was speaking to the Choi Beomgyu. She spoke as if it was her best friend, Sanghoon, in the passanger seat. They always made suggestive, flirty jokes with each other.
''Sexy, easy to pull- I mean… it looks fine''
Beomgyu smirked. He enjoyed every second. ''You think I’m sexy? And your thoughts are what now?''
''What? You are sexy and you know it'' Jiwoo slowed down and stopped outside the HYBE building.
''And you’re sexy as hell'' Beomgyu smirked. ''Here’s my number. Call me''
''Uhm… sure''
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Jiwoo never meant to actually call Beomgyu. Not because she didn’t like him. But come on. She was a “normal” person, not famous in any way other than possibly being the sister of the "best surgeon in the world".
Beomgyu was a global superstar. He had millions of fans who adored him, cried as they saw him, spent all of their savings in hope to pull a little piece of paper with his face on.
She was sure he didn’t even give her his real number.
She was convinced he only did it as some kind of thank you, for the ride.
But Changmin found her phone one day, unlocked, wondered who it was and decided to find out himself.
When he realized it was work-Hyung he immediately found his father, told him about the situation and the two quickly went into action. Action meaning: getting Jiwoo a boyfriend.
With other words, Changkyun forced his sister to drive to a place he’d chosen, pick up Beomgyu and drive to another place, which he'd also chosen.
She hadn’t planned for anything that happened that day to actually happen.
It was all her brother’s fault.
She was absolutely not planning on laying on her back in the backseat, Beomgyu’s head burried between her legs. Chest heaving quickly as Beomgyu shoved his tongue between her folds.
Her hands were pulling at Beomgyu’s long locks, making the man smirk, due to the statement she made a few days ago.
As her high was approaching Jiwoo tried closing her legs, which Beomgyu didn’t seem to like. His fingers dug into her plush thighs, forcing them to stay open.
''Fuck~ I am so… close- fuck!''
The man smirked and pulled away from her pussy. He smirked as he wiped his lips. ''You tease me, I tease you, princess'' Jiwoo whined as she felt her orgasm fading away.
''Fuck your legs are sexy, especially in these boots'' Beomgyu ran his nose along her legs, leaving a kiss or hickey along the way.
Jiwoo was embarrassed over how easily he made her wet. But then again. He was Choi Beomgyu. He was basically famous for singing and good looks.
''Changkyun is gonna kill me'' Jiwoo mumbled as Beomgyu continued kissing her legs, which seemed to go on forever in Beomgyu's mind.
A small chuckle left the man’s lips. ''Wasn’t he fhe one who wanted you to do this?''
''Shut up'' Jiwoo whined and punched Beomgyu in the chest. Beomgyu only continued chuckling and leaned closer. He pressed his lips against Jiwoo’s while he allowed his hand to travel south. His ego grew slightly as a high pitched moan left Jiwoo’s lips.
It was dark. The clock might have been 1 in the morning. But someone passed the car, which caused Beomgyu to slap his hand over Jiwoo’s mouth.
The person stopped slightly and turned towards the car.
''Keep walking!'' Beomgyu snapped in a rude tone. The person seemed terrified and disappeared. He removed his right hand, which covered her mouth, while his left hand sped up it's movements.
Beomgyu dipped his head down and started leaving hickeys all over Jiwoo’s neck. Jiwoo’s fingers found Beomgyu’s scalp again and started pulled at his roots.
A small groan left Beomgyu’s lips as her nail scratched against his scalp. He might have enjoyed her pulling his hair a bit too much. ''Fuck that's nice- do that again, princess''
Jiwoo chuckled and repeated the action, forcing another groan from his pink, plump lips.
As Jiwoo felt her orgasm building up again, which didn’t take long due to previous orgasm build up, she clenched around Beomgyu’s long, slender fingers, only he had no intnetions of letting her cum anytime soon. He ripped his fingers from her and smirked.
''Beomgyu!'' Jiwoo whined loudly. ''I swear. If you don’t let me cum soon, I’m doing it myself and forcing you to watch''
''Fine, only because you asked so nicely, princess ''
He pulled down his pants and underwear. He pumped himself a couple of times.
Jiwoo stared with wide eyes. ''That is not gonna fit'' She mumbled to herself.
''We’re gonna make it fit, princess. Hands and knees''
Jiwoo did as ordered. Beomgyu could almost cum from the sight of her on her knees, mouth open and ready for him.
Beomgyu pushed his dick past her lips and immediately let out a groan. Her warm mouth embracing him was almost enough for him to burst right away.
Without a second thought he grabbed her hair and pushed her head all the way. A choked sound left Jiwoo’s lips while Beomgyu thrusted into her mouth.
Beomgyu had a firm grip on her hair, pulling slightly, which forced a moan from Jiwoo’s lips. ''You like that, hm?''
Jiwoo hummed in response, which sent vibrations down his shaft. A loud, throaty groan left his lips. An ego boost on Jiwoo's behalf. She hollowed her cheeks as much as she possibly could.
Beomgyu groaned again, feeling his own orgasm coming. He twitched in her mouth, causing the woman to hollow her cheeks again. His thrusts sped up and a final groan left his lips.
A moment later he came down her throat. As Beomgyu pulled out he groaned at the sight. A string of cum, mixed with saliva, hung between her perfect, pink lips and the tip of his dick.
''Oh my god- best head ever. So your smart mouth is good for something other than snappy remarks''
Jiwoo laid back down on her back, per Beomgyu's demand, and waited for him to do... anything to her.
The man placed his hands by her head. He hovered over her and smirked as he stopped just an inch from her face. He laid his cock across her stomach, groaning to himself.
Jiwoo spotted it as well and a concerned whimper left her lips.
''It's gonna fit, or I'm gonna make it fit'' Beomgyu pumped himself a few times before running the head along her slit.
A whiney moan left her lips and her body jerked slightly. A taunting chuckle left Beomgyu's lips. ''Needy?''
''Yes, please fuck me~''
''Your wish is my command, princess'' Beomgyu chuckled but did as wished.
As he entered her slowly Jiwoo's jaw fell open, eyes closed and eyebrows scrunched. ''Fuck- you're too big'' She panted as she could feel him still pushing inside her.
''Come on princess, be a good girl, you can take it''
When he bottomed out he stopped for a moment. Both so that Jiwoo could adjust to him, and to allow his eyes to take in the heavenly look before him. As he let his gaze travel her body, it stopped by her belly.
''My god, you are tiny'' Beomgyu mumbled as he laid his hand on her tummy. His ego grew as he could see his own dick all the way up in her belly.
And the size difference was a bit too hot on Beomgyu’s behalf.
Another whimper left Jiwoo's lips. ''Fuck- please move~''
The man nodded slightly and pulled out slowly. He pulled almost all the way out before thrusting back in, harshly, making the whole car shake.
His ego grew with each moan that left Jiwoo's lips. It grew even more when she moaned his name, loud and clear.
Jiwoo placed her hand over her mouth in an attempt to silence her moans. It didn't do much, but it did something.
Beomgyu chuckled and grabbed her hand. He pinned them both by her head. ''Nuh-uh, I wanna hear those pretty sounds''
Due to the two earlier, almost, orgasms it wasn't hard for the third one to build up. Quickly.
Apparently Beomgyu could tell as well as his hips sped up even more.
If someone was to talk by they'd know right away what was happening. But the two inside the car? Not a single care in the world, except chasing their much needed orgasms.
''Fuck- please let me cum this time'' Jiwoo managed to get out between moans and pants.
''Of course, princess. You've been such a good girl''
Those were all the words Jiwoo needed to hear before she released around Beomgyu. A moment later Beomgyu came inisde her, slowing down his movements to ride out both their highs.
As he pulled out a cocky grin grew on his lips. ''And you said it wouldn't fit''
Jiwoo only punched him in the chest again. A small "ouff" left his lips. ''Fuck you''
''Hey, you texted me first''
''My brother texted you first. I left my phone unlocked, which seemed to have been a mistake''
Beomgyu raised an eyebrow. ''You calling me a mistake? The sounds you made say otherwise''
''You- I- we-'' Jiwoo didn't know what to say, which was a rare thing.
''Cat got your tongue, princess?'' An amused grin grew on Beomgyu's lips as he spoke. He leaned down and pecked her lips. ''Sorry''
'They both got dressed and walked around the car to get into the front. They both missed the paparazzis snapping photos of them. They both missed the fact that they were, most likely, gonna be on the news tomorrow.
''Asshole''
''Your asshole''
''Whatever, cheescake''
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rreskk · 1 year ago
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Im a huge fan of all your writings, your page is my all time favourite on Tumblr and I jus noticed you’ve taken requests and was wondering if you can write some smut of Trevor x his Therapist or Doctor
I fucking love this idea! Sorry it took long, I've been having a brain-rotting phase about my OC :)
Summary: Your favourite client has become more... Of a "friend."
TW: -Smut
Pairings: Therapist Fem!reader/ Trevor Philips
Word count: 1265
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AUGUST, 26TH – 1985
You’ll see grieved people hover in and out of your office with a suicidal tendencies, more likely than never. You’d also have people who’ve been through wars, people who have slept with family members, confessed murderers, suicidal drug-addicts, sociopathic teenagers, depressed elderly ladies, wealthy white men, menopausal women, schizophrenics, sexually confused religious men, teenage dirtbags; the list going on and on and on and on. Your folders only stack up with every unstable being paying brain-surgeon bucks to talk about how crappy life is. Some stories you wept alongside them, some you had to give them the cold-shoulder, some you had to refuse service. All in which was based in the memo when you began working within the professionality.
However, there was this one man with mountains of issues and emotional depth, some criminal, some traumatic, some petty; but he interested you greatly. A so-called trainee pilot for the Airforce. Personal record was fresh, great skill in flying, physically active, single, citizen of Canada. However, he was referred after his team had identified slight dangers in his emotional intelligence and anger management. He was once called “a fucking pyscho” by his referral, which had caused some mishap of violence. Nonetheless, the front page had suggested he was aggressive when “provoked”.
The first session was tricky, as predicted from his difficulties on concealing emotional bondage. But as the sessions became a regular occurrence, he slowly loosened up. Only recently had he talked about his childhood. Through painful cries and many times of walking out of the office eruptively, in which he returns hours later to continue, believing you are “the only person who cares” – his words exactly when you question his behaviour.
Unconsciously, you both grew close. After a good few weeks of working along side him, Trevor had named every person in his life; mother, father, brother, past lovers, past friends, etc… He trusted you with this information, and when he spoke freely about them, his eyes would stare into yours with tensity. He self-indulged in the eye-contact. You understood that it was his way of seeing your internal reactions and thoughts. Trevor’s constantly assessing you like you are with him, and whether it was meant to happen, it fell into this hole of deep relation. He relied on you. Extremely clingy. His sessions would extend from an hour to 3 or 4. It had gotten to the point where you with drawled other patience, just so you could invite him in again. Your managers assumed he needed more focus, so they allowed. But was it about focus?
No.
It was something more personal than that. A transference. Therapist and patient romance. Forbidden touches of his hands against your thighs turned into extreme penetration in your office. From the desk to the sofa, from the floor to your bathroom. At some point, he had been everywhere with you. Trying to overcome this situation was flawed, and every-time you tried to give him this professional support, it turned into a lustful beg of his fingers and filthy tongue.
“Fuck – “ You panted when he crawled over you on the sofa-bed, his penis frantically searching for the entrance as he used his tongue to leave trails of his saliva against your jawline. Whereas the moments prior to this, he was talking about the lack of love given from his mother, and he instead admitted that the maternal need had been transferred onto you. Trevor struggled to explain his insane attraction to how “caring” you are, forgetting that it was your profession. But the way you’d reassure and rub his back – it always gave him a reason to go home and relieve that naughty arousal. And every session, he’s excited for this specific reason.
“I tried to book a session last week,” He murmured darkly as his cock injected into your pussy, “The prick downstairs told me you were busy – with what?” His voice crackled a bit at the pleasure of having your warmth surrounding his erection.
Holding onto his shoulders, you breathed out a shaky moan, his name staining the tip of your tongue. The question went ignored until you found the capacity to give him the deserved answer.
“I had training.” You could barely say.
Trevor huffed in jealousy, his hips finding a steady pace as he gripped your hips to line up the act of penetration. Despite the angry frown plastered on his face, you knew he was enjoying himself. The way his tongue curled up between his lips, the concentration dilating his pupils. You had analysed his behaviour from day 1, so it became an easy job to predict his overall mood.
“I’m more important…” He breathed softly and ushered you to wrap your legs around his hips.
“I know…”
“I fucking love how loose you are,” Trevor desperately kissed your quivering lips before breaking away to increase the speed and groaning your name. “Oh… Oh, fuck. Yes. Mmm…”
The clock was ticking and when he was occupying your cunt, eyes began to fall upon the ticks and the toks. You’ve mentioned before this that a patient was planned to arrive within the next hour, so the nerves were beginning to boil your blood. The last thing you’d want is to be caught; especially with one of your most dangerous clients who’s supposed to have “professional” support. 
“Look at me.” He soon begged when noticing your lack of attention. His hands fell onto your breasts and gave them a loving squeeze, continuing the thrusting.
“I ought to…” It was hard to be vocal, so you tried a little harder, “I ought to prepare for the next – “
Trevor whimpered angrily and fucked you harder than before. His hands gripped onto your breasts, teeth grinding. He repetitively shook his head and silenced you from saying anything more.
“No, no, no!” He pled. His temper starting to spark.
You grasped his wrists, moaning out of pure bliss. This encouraged him to thrust a little faster, his shaggy mullet falling into different directions and flows. For a young pilot, he was especially rugged and quite ill-looking, but it made this more exciting. You were fucking an ill client… That was such an exciting experience, but why? The psychology was hard to work out, even for you. So his witchery could be blameful, the way his mouth casted spells on you.
“Please – “ You moaned and closed your eyes.
“Look at me!” Trevor whined again, his hands cradling your face as you both came close. He winced. The sluggish rock of his hips slapped against yours for the last time before he pulled out, cock ejaculating white fluids upon your stomach. “Oooohhh… Fuck!” Your patient ecstatically exaggerated.
You too had came. To refrain noise, it became a squeal of pure lust. When his warm semen painted your stomach, your fingers instantly rummaged through your clit, feeling how much cum he made you squirt. And with a moan, you felt him take charge of the inspection and licked up the white strands with his tongue. Trevor brushed your pussy and slurped up your taste with a puppy glimpse in his eyes. He looked at you when licking, begging to be praised.
“Fuck… Yes – “ Then the door knocked.
With quick motion, you threw on your shirt and zipped up your skirt as he groaned. Trevor wiped his mouth and gave your cheek a last kiss before throwing on a shirt and walking out. You noticed on the way out, he had gave your next client the meanest look to man-kind.
And the next week; that client had never returned.
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infinityonhighvevo · 4 days ago
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i know it’s personal but if you are ever interested in sharing that story on here i’d be interested in hearing it! <3
hehehehe thanks anon i love talking about my heart problems <3 medical story time below so trigger warning for all that; tldr i died but i got better
so i’m in my first semester of my sophomore year of college and i get sick. i’m the type of guy who gets sick a bunch but, having just come out of a COVID spike in the area i lived in, i was nervous. i go to the doctor and test negative so i assume it’s just a miserable cold. (i test negative another twelve times throughout the ordeal.) i have a fever for a few days; it goes away but i’m still coughing, short of breath but not wheezing, and tired. i’m sick like this for like six or seven weeks (yeah, weeks) before i go to my doctor again. after a clear chest x-ray she’s like, okay, your lungs sound like ass, it’s walking pneumonia, take ten days of antibiotics and get another x-ray if it doesn’t get better
meanwhile, i can’t walk anywhere because i can’t breathe, i have to stop while walking up the stairs to my fifth floor dorm room because my heart races any time i do more than two flights, my feet are crazy swollen, i have to sleep sitting up because i can’t breathe lying down, and i keep waking up at like 2 in the morning to pee because my muscles are so weak i genuinely can’t hold it. basically, i’m super gross. (and, as it turns out, dying.)
the ten days of antibiotics go by and i’m sicker than ever. i go get a second chest x ray through my school’s medical center. (which sucks, by the way. the people care but they can’t do shit.) i get a call at the end of the day from them: they want me to uber to the er for a CT. yeah. uber. props to them for not saddling me with an ambulance bill but i was for real dying and they should have done it anyway. my good friend is luckily free to drive me, though, so i scarf down some microwaveable mac and cheese (because college) and off we go.
i sit in the ER with a former friend for six whole hours before i get taken back. i get tested on, i throw up my maccy cheese, and finally at 2am i get told by the er doc, very bitchily, that i need to have a procedure done. i am the type of deathly ill where my brain just isn’t cognitively functioning, so i do not understand what he is saying. i ask if he can wait until the morning so my parents can be there. he rolls his eyes and is just as bitchy to my surgeon father who i call on the phone. i don’t end up having the procedure done, and my mom comes to get me first thing next morning. she takes me to the hospital my dad works at. i get my lung drained!
the x-ray that my school had sent me to get showed that my right lung had almost completely collapsed. for context, each lung can hold about a liter of air. i had 850mL of fluid drained from my pleural space, which is the sac surrounding the lung. it had almost completely collapsed my lung. the procedure was gross but not that painful. they stick a syringe between your ribs and pull the fluid out. you get numbed, so it just feels like weird pressure, but the fluid itself is nasty and murky. i felt better after my thoracentesis—still sick, but better. they kept me overnight for observation, thinking that it was just bad pneumonia from my asthma and that everything was fixed.
everything was not even close to being fixed. i slept like ass and felt even worse. at like 8am they did an echocardiogram, which is basically a heart ultrasound. by 10am i’d been moved up to a different wing and was shaking hands with the guy about to break my sternum open and save my life by stopping my heart for a few hours.
basically, i had a strain of strep that travels in the bloodstream. it had, by sheer force of terrible luck, infected my mitral valve, completely destroying it. we think i had a congenital defect, but the valve was so fucked when i got to the hospital that they literally couldn’t tell. if i hadn’t had surgery when i did, i think i would have only lasted another week. i got open heart surgery to replace my valve with a prosthetic, and then a pacemaker surgery five days later because my rhythm didn’t come back on its own. i got put on hardcore antibiotics for like six weeks that i lowkey became allergic to at the end.
overall, it was not a fun experience but it did dramatically shape me as a human being. i’m now a cyborg and i get cold/numb fingers and toes really easily. also my scars turn bright red when i drink, which is a fun party trick. i’m bluetooth enabled, which is terrifying, and i get special treatment at the airport, which is nice because i like attention. the best part? built in icebreaker for the rest of my life. the worst part was the dying. obviously.
seriously, though, if you’re short of breath for a while, have a fever at any point, and have swollen feet, have someone carry you to the hospital. those three together are big indicators that your heart is fucked.
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xenon-demon · 1 year ago
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Med student Steve & nurse Eddie for WIP weekend pls and thank you? 👉👈
i can absolutely do this for you gerry! also the people are loving nurse eddie & med student steve which is a pleasant surprise?? i figured i was being way too self indulgent by just Giving Steve My Job lmao
Same as before, this snippet is a direct continuation of the previous one for this fic!
< PREV | NEXT >
With that, he turns and leaves pathology, only the vaguest goal of finding a nearby ward in mind. Steve’s walking on auto-pilot, his brain cycling through everything he’s done wrong today like a planet orbiting a particularly fucked-up star. That quickly tips over into worrying about the things he'll get wrong tomorrow, too, because god knows there'll be a lot of them. It doesn't help that two of the other students on this rotation with him are people he doesn't know very well at all, definitely not well enough to commiserate with or gently probe to see if they're also struggling with the new rotation.  The third student is also no help because it's Jason fucking Carver, one of the biggest gunners in their student cohort and a sanctimonious prick. God, if Steve keeps fucking up like this, Jason will probably report him to their academic supervisor for the rotation for professionalism concerns, or maybe say he wouldn't want Steve to be thrust into situations he's not yet ready for, and maybe he should give this rotation another shot? The worst part is the dickhead probably genuinely believes in the shit he's selling. Sorry that we don't all have orthopedic surgeon fathers bankrolling our way through medical school so we don't have to worry about anything other than studying, Jason— Okay, no. Steve stops where he is at the edge of the hallway, aiming to stop his thoughts in their tracks too. Steve loves a good bitch session, especially when he's having a day this awful, but this is getting unreasonably bitter and paranoid. Steve needs to take a minute and get his head back on straight before he does something he'll really regret tomorrow.
Make me write some of my WIPs! 🖋️
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ava-core · 6 months ago
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when i tell you i’m courier six: may brainrot i am MAY brainrot!! more info on her!! (still not the main post on her…i have an entire google document on her with all her stats, backstory and a journal of her journey as i play the game as her)
in the meantime, here’s an OC chart of her (template provided by @vault81 <3)
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yeah, par for the course.
some tidbits on this chart i’d like to explain:
of course i blocked out her real name. call me marjorie, but it adds to her mystique…and the fact that no one in the mojave, too, is none the wiser her real name isn’t May Bells? yeah i’m into that. the only person who has an idea is Boone, and that’s because they’re around each other 24/7—enough for him to notice the dogtag around her own neck that’s visible when she sleeps has strange symbols on it (his 3 INT can’t quite reach the fact that it’s mandarin) and he’s pretty sure they all don’t translate into something as short as May Bells.
may also has this strange flirtation going on with the strong, hot-headed women of the NCR: colonel cassandra moore, whose compliments seem…loaded, and corporal betsy, who never misses the opportunity to flirt unabashedly with may (who can never respond, despite usually being quick to reply with a dry or scathing quip). what can she say? she’s got a type. something about tough-around-the-edges soldiers with baggage to carry…oop.
of course boone doesn’t appreciate that. it’s first recon on first recon beef for this less-than-verbally-charming courier who will pick her nose if she knows there’s a booger in it
on that note: her 3 CHR stat and 28 Speech is so fun for me. i usually play as couriers with silver tongues, and may is, at the end of the day, underneath her combat prowess and big brain…just a nerd. just look at that big, fat 9 INT. she knows her way around terminals, science, how a plasma rifle works and how to jury rig that shit. she’s basically a few training modules away from being a certified trauma surgeon. she literally does math problems in pre-War textbooks to destress. she’s also convincing when she needs to be so long as the conversation involves reason and logic. but when she gets flirted with? nope. this girl will NOT respond with anything else than a silent, burning red face or roll of the eyes, depending on how much she likes you.
this aspect is so funny. really. i’m so used to the smooth talkers that i just up and use the failed speech checks for dialogue because i can see may saying them with her rifle in hand, her trigger finger itchy because where her words fail her bullets don’t. (“i came here…for uh…yeah, fuck it, you’re going to die.”)
her tag skills are medicine, science, and unarmed. this surprises no one.
this girl LOVES her sarcasm. growing up in an environment where you had to be kind, calm, and submissive, the freedom to just be a jack shit asshole with your words was a promising proposition may took without a second thought the moment she was in shady sands.
still, when she doesn’t need to talk, she won’t talk. she prefers the company of books, and later in the story, when she grows closer to boone and the rest, she still retains her fondness for silence—she bonds with others by being silent together.
while she might seem like an average grizzled merc with her mask and the scars and bullets around her body, not to mention her terrifying presence perk, she’s actually quite forgiving. it ties into her natural tendency towards compassion, no matter how hard she tried to suppress it; hell, remember her father, who murdered almost all of his entire family? may remains conflicted about that, and despite his abuse of her and her siblings, there are times where she remembers him fondly and often honors his memory alongside the other deceased members of her family.
it’s her recognition of the complexity of these relationships and how they tie in together that make her more empathetic of the people in the mojave. she knows everyone around her’s got their own burdens; if they’re not doing anything to actively shit on you, why add to that, right?
may spends a lot of her time thinking. she’s always pensive, always wondering, thoughts swirling around in her head, the entire opposite of head empty. may head full. too full. always full.
also, yes, she’s superstitious. somewhat, as i indicate, because she’s not above dismissing some Shi rites she deems irrelevant entirely—but some centered around karma and the value of the soul, she upholds. an example is, again, her effort to respect the dead civilians she encounters in travel. a broc flower here, a silent prayer there. if no repose is to be found in this life, it was the least she could do to at least wish for them to find it in the next one.
MAY BELLS i love you…my nerdy, awkward, sarcastic little courier six…playing fnv as you is the highlight of a very difficult week <//3
also if she was exposed to modern music, she’d probably love my chemical romance, fall out boy, green day and the smashing pumpkins. you can already imagine what kind of person she’d be…that emo-punk eyeliner phase LMFAO
so…one more song for the road, one i know may would have as a favorite.
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simping-for-kamski · 11 months ago
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12 Steps of Christmas
Hank Anderson and Leo Manfred meet in group therapy for their 99 problems they're trying to fix—mourning, addiction... But deviancy is on the rise, and Detroit is about to change radically. Will these two men change too?
Let's see if I can post a chapter everyday till Xmas! Read on Ao3
1. Anger
“Welcome to the group,” the therapist said. She was a human being and that was all that mattered.
The room was lit a bit too bright, and some ten persons were attending the session, sitting on bland chairs forming a circle. Hank felt like an idiot just being there. He almost didn’t attend the session—he’d had a few in the past weeks, but this week had been especially challenging. He’d nearly put a bullet in his own head just the evening before, and nearly put a bullet in his plastic partner’s head too less than twelve hours ago.
At least he wasn’t sitting in front of Maria this time—she always cried embarrassingly much. Instead, he sat in front of a new face in the group, a young man in his mid-twenties with heavy dark circles around his eyes and patchy stubble. His gaze was empty. His hair was a tangled mess. Hank couldn’t blame him for attending the meeting looking like that. Most participants weren’t in the best mental space, and it reflected on their appearance—Hank knew he was no exception.
As the round of introductions went, Hank learned that the newcomer was called Leo and recently lost his father. He didn’t tell much more. Seemed like the type who preferred to listen first. Hank had been there too, but that day, he’d sworn to himself that if he came to the meeting, he’d talk.
“My name’s Hank. I lost my son, Cole, three years ago. Traffic accident—I was driving,” he specified for Leo, who was new and didn’t know his story yet. “Cole made it to the ER but an android surgeon butchered him and…” If Cole had survived, Hank wouldn’t be sitting here, talking. “These past days been rough,” he admitted. “My boss assigned me to work on things to do with androids, and I even have one of those following me pretty much everywhere. It’s… been tough.”
He paused for a moment. The others gave him time, as it was obvious that he had more to say.
“I don’t know what the fuck’s wrong with CyberLife,” Hank picked up at last, annoyance rising in his voice. “It’s not enough that I have to mourn my son, I also have to somehow accept that whole android bullshit and that… That, I can’t. I hate those fucking machines, I hate that they’re everywhere, and I hate, I really hate that they’re made to look so real and human, but they don’t feel a goddamn thing. I hate that the android who took my son’s life didn’t understand what life means, what death is. I…” He interrupted himself and shook his head. “These days, I… I’ve seen things and it’s messing my head, fucking my brain. I don’t know what to think anymore. I think… maybe it’d be easier for me to mourn Cole if…”
He lost himself in his spinning thoughts there. He wasn’t sure where he was going with that.
“My android partner,” he said instead, “I’ve seen him get destroyed right in front of me. You know what CyberLife did? Just fucking sent a new one. Same model, same face, everything. They didn’t even complain about doing it. And I just wonder—what did they do with the body? Tossed it in the trash? Just like that? Without a word? Like, for fuck’s sake… I don’t know. It’s all so wrong.”
There, Leo’s shoulders quivered and he discreetly excused himself as he drove back a sob. He didn’t speak though, and Hank didn’t feel like talking anymore. He got praise for sharing more about his story and for articulating his anger. The therapist went on about the importance of rituals in human culture, and the importance of the place of death in society, all while trying to keep a non-political stance over the position of androids in all that.
Hank ended up phasing out.
The session ended and as everybody helped to clean up the room, he found himself next to Leo, stacking up chairs together. The young man glanced at him, said nothing, glanced at him again.
“I’m sorry about your son,” he mumbled at last. “You must have been an incredible dad to miss him that much. I bet he was a great kid too.”
Hank nodded. “He was.”
Leo bit his lips. The other participants were exiting the room. “Uh… Hank?” he checked he got the name right. But then, “No, nothing. Sorry. I better run along, got another meeting to attend.”
“Yeah, same. No problem.”
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remyfire · 9 months ago
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Bj/Sidney
Do I Ship It? ALL RIGHT, back in it again after a breakfast break, please forgive me for the delay!!
Yes, I Ship It!!
What made you ship it? —Truly I cannot articulate properly how potent they are to me, but I'm gonna damn well try. I talked a little bit in my Sidney/BJ/Hawk ask about how interesting it is to me that Sidney and BJ very rarely have a moment alone on screen together, and how it got my brain buzzing about if BJ is in fact actively choosing to avoid Sidney. I love to play on that with them, BJ who has so much buried under the surface, Sidney who has almost a sixth sense for where to apply pressure to receive a response. I write them both as needing to be in control every second of every day, which compelled me also—one of them has to give in a little for them to get anywhere at all, and that takes a lot of negotiation, a lot of growing trust. And then frankly I was compelled by the idea of giving BJ daddy issues. I'm so so sorry, BJ, but you are ripe for it. Specifically I wanted to play on the concept of BJ having a buried distrust toward men in Sidney's age range because that was around the age his father was when BJ received the majority of his neglect and emotional abuse, the age he was right when BJ cut his parents off and never went back. There's distrust but there's also a desperation for approval, for praise. The moment I made that connection, I was fucking gone for them.
What are your favorite things about the ship? —I love how BJ brings out the more playful energy of Sidney in Dear Sigmund. I love how even when BJ missteps and violates Sidney's trust, Sidney already has such a deep fondness for him that he doesn't come down nearly as harshly as he could. I love the idea of Sidney catching sight of how often BJ ends up in Hawkeye's shadow as this baby surgeon barely out of residency put up beside this revered god of life, and Sidney getting to nourish that part of BJ before Beej ever starts getting buried in his flashes of self-doubt that drive him to do incredibly unwise things. I love BJ getting the opportunity to be unabashedly angry in a setting with a person who can absorb it and bring him to a sense of closure. I love how protective we see BJ get over Sidney from time to time. I love the webs of secrets that both BJ and Sidney have getting to unravel a little at a time with each other when they don't trust anyone else to look at them the same way as it all starts coming out. And frankly I love them getting to lean on each other during the absolute mess of a man they both care very, very much for beginning to deteriorate. I need these two cuddled up tight, stat.
Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? —I'm trying to think if there's anything particularly unpopular about them that I have when they're a ship barely anybody else sails haha. Many of the things I change are more character-specific—I write Sidney as a gay man who does not actually have a child, for example—and I'm not sure if any of those things count as unpopular.
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holdmyhopeinyourhands · 2 years ago
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Makhy! I had brain surgery on December 1 2022 and my surgeon kind of flopped (bless him, he’s a good guy) so I was in a medically induced coma for like a 3 weeks and then in icu for another two weeks. I’m only starting to recover fully. I can type now so that’s good.
Listen I dont know how to start but what the fuck you mean to say Argentina won the fucking world cup? Like that really happened???? Holy shet? I was confined in the hospital since November and just waiting for surgery. I watched these bitches lose to saudi arabia. I really thought they were fucking done! I also watched the mexico match and they were dogshit. That was the last match I watched. I missed the poland match because my doctors wanted me to rest and be calm/positive before opening my skull. Based on those two matches, I really never thought Argentina would go beyond r16. I promise I let jesus take the wheel. I gave up and has already accepted defeat. I so accepted defeat that when I woke up from coma, the results of the world cup was not even on my mind. It’s like Messi’s first season in PSG, I conditioned my brain to pretend it did not happen. So I was not thinking of it at all. Like I forgot about it. Totally. I also decided to stay away from social media and just focus on my recovery and therapy. Until this fucking morning when I thought “let me scroll through tumblr” to practice my thumb dexterity/motion and I saw fcking photos of Messi kissing the fucking world cup??? When I tell you I froze and screamed like I was hit by a lightning! I literally screamed like what the fuck? The nurses had to run sprinting to my room because the machine attached to my chest started going crazy. Like my blood pressure was through the roof because I could not cope! Messi was wearing a see-through robe???? It was fucking 3-3???? Mbappe scored a hattrick???? Messi scored a fucking brace??? Argentina almost choked??? It went to penalties???? The keeper saved 2 pens??? Lloris the spurs man saved nothing??? Messi was carried around???? Holy shettt mahky!
Messi won the golden ball??? Mbappe won golden boot with Messi in 2nd place??? Messi played like he was not an aging father of 3???? Lautaro Martinez was Higuain??? Kun celebrated like he was still an active player??? The muchachos song??? The whole of Argentina gathered in Buenos Aires??? There was a parade with 5 million people??? Messi almost got taken out by a street wire while on the bus???? What the fuck Makhy!?!!!! I dont know where to fucking start!!!!????! There’s so many information and videos and tweets. I dont fucking know what to do.
Ronaldo fucking lost lmao! We fucking won lmao! I want to see and read ronaldo fans crying! I want it all! Ronaldo is now playing in saudi????? It’s like I missed a whole life!!!! I am so happy but also so stunned to fully comprehend this happiness like I dont know how to express it I feel like I need to scream! Messi won the fucking world cup the fucking 5 foot something goofy man!
I am so glad you woke up fron your coma and are recovering well darling. That's such a relief to hear and.... yeah, your boys really went and done that. Can't believe you woke to the craziest time line bestie like wow.
Couldn't help but grin from ear to ear reading this. Felt like I was experiencing joy by proxy😭.
Welcome back babe and congrats to your boys and especially messi❤❤❤
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bonesstiel · 2 years ago
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Hi!! i'm asking a bunch of people but do you have any destiel au best friend to lovers fic recs???? pleaseeeeee (no abo) thank youuuuu!!!! or just any destiel AU (no abo) if you don't have any best friend to lovers fics? thank you so much!!
you bet your ass i have au recs!! i love to put those guys in situations. i tend to read longer fics because im insane, so most of these are over 100k. i feel like i have more best friends to lovers fics that are hiding in my bookmarks, so this might get updated later
Friends to Lovers
More Than Kisses - epistolary, two-person love triangle where dean and cas have been friends since they were teens. my Ao3 notes: "the penpal one!! book nerds!!! baltimore!!!"
alone together - quarantine fic, dean and cas are roommates, now forced to be around each other 24/7. cas pines, thinking that dean is straight
Carry You Home - non-linearish baseball AU, starting when dean and cas are in college. also: secret relationship! my AO3 notes: "i don’t understand baseball but OH FUCK I LOVED THIS SO MUCH"
Starstruck - dean and cas were childhood best friends, and now cas is a single father to claire and jack and dean is a movie star. dean comes out, and in the process references a childhood crush that sounds a lot like cas.
Playing With Fire - best friends to fwb in a D/s relationship. part of a larger series with other ships and there's a threesome, so watch out for that if its not your cuppa.
General AUs
Breathe Easy For A While - country musician dean starts working with producer cas. technically friends to lovers, but more of a meet-cute.
Prince Of My Heart - 400k+ words of a royalty/the bachelor AU. my AO3 notes: "red tbis entire thing in less than 24 hours while sick <3," which i consider a rave review
FROTUS (wip) - it would not be a bonesstiel rec list if i didnt include this fic it scratches my little tww and rwrb loving political science major brain right. cas is the president of the US and dean is a restaurant owner in Kansas. if u read nothing else on this list read FROTUS
The Way to a Man's Heart is Through Chlamydia - exactly what it sys on the tin. after a one night stand, dean has to track cas down to let him know he has an STD.
Let Me Come Home - the author's summary says it best: "It would be very inconvenient for Castiel to get a crush on Claire's foster parent."
Any Little Heartbreak - fwb to partners hospital AU, so so good i literally have quotes from this on sticky notes on my wall
What I Need - i love hospital AUs and i think this is my favorite. cas is a surgeon and dean is the only surgery tech he's willing to work with.
I have a million more, so just ask if you want more of a certain trope!! in going through my bookmarks for this i have discovered that i apparently hoard bdsm aus, hospital aus, kid fics, and two person love triangle fics.
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Since Apparently
So I have a notification by someone and I’m not going to read it because they are a dishonest shill as far as I'm concerned and referred to me as “Propaganda” because I happen to be a left libertarian (little L), and want to call out others on my “side” as it were, to try to make people more aware, I’m just going to share the stories I was referring to in my post to make a point. 
Boy assaults multiple girls while in girls bathrooms (assumed trans because they wore a skirt) -https://wtop.com/loudoun-county/2021/10/loudoun-co-judge-rules-teen-sexually-assaulted-girl-in-school-bathroom/
Women getting pregnant in prisons due to sharing prisons with biological men. -https://www.indiatoday.in/world/story/women-prisoners-new-jersey-pregnant-from-trans-inmate-1938062-2022-04-15
Detransitioning numbers rising *reported from several sources* -https://www.foxnews.com/health/detransitioning-becomes-growing-choice-young-people-gender-affirming-surgery -https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/usa-transyouth-outcomes/ -https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/01/detransition-transgender-nonbinary-gender-affirming-care/672745/ -https://nypost.com/2022/06/18/detransitioned-teens-explain-why-they-regret-changing-genders/ -https://segm.org/first_large_study_of_detransitioners
I’d post links about LGBT “Q-mmunity” views on cis people but you can do that on your own just looking up the tag “Cis” on this hell site. 
Lesbians feeling pressured to have sex with biological men -https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-57853385
The list of things that puberty blockers do is numberous. More so when you factor in long term effects. Also note, that “scientific” health journals are using terms like “assigned sex at birth” which is THE MOST unscientific term I’ve ever heard in my life. Sex is not “Assigned at birth” It is observed. And any clinicians that say otherwise have lost the fucking plot. And frankly deserve to have their creds removed. 
But here are some things that happen along with a number of other effects. 
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And a plastic Surgeon talking sense about worries in regards to surgeries and hormone blockers.  -https://www.desmoinesregister.com/story/opinion/columnists/iowa-view/2023/03/19/puberty-blockers-concerns-plastic-surgeon/69990751007/
The NHS now going ON RECORD and saying that long term use of Hormone blockers are NOT reversible, which if anyone read a book they’d understand. Mostly because the “Oh yes they are reversible” argument intentionally removes what happens when your bodies natural puberty starts to slow and stop. Of which you never get a come back from. Once you miss puberty, you miss it. All the development associated with it? Gone. Immune health. Brain development, bone development, height, sex characteristics, fertility, etc. All of that? It doesn’t just restart. It starts from where it thinks it needs to. If you are on blockers for 5 years, you MISS 5 YEARS of body development in ALL IT’S FORMS.
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Preferred pronoun laws etc and liberal use of words like “Harassment” -https://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/us/2021/november/could-californians-go-to-jail-for-misgendering-state-supreme-court-weighs-preferred-pronouns-law -https://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/world/2023/march/uk-preacher-reported-as-terrorist-after-disturbing-misgendering-arrest-wins-big-after-legal-nightmare -https://www.breitbart.com/tech/2021/03/18/canadian-man-jailed-after-misgendering-his-daughter/ -https://www.christianpost.com/news/uk-mom-formally-charged-after-arrest-for-misgendering-trans-activist-online.html
But no all of this shit is just propaganda. None of it is ACTUALLY REAL. And don’t make me go on Twitter, or strait hate groups on Twitter, HERE, and Reddit to prove my point about indoctrination of youths. But here is one anyways. And this is not the only story like it -https://www.foxnews.com/media/florida-father-daughter-suicide-school-counseling-gender-identity -https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10445195/Catholic-father-files-lawsuit-daughter-attempts-suicide-gender-identity.html Oh and this story? THIS STORY is why the Parental Rights in Education law was passed in Florida. 
But sure. Call me a “Good example of propaganda”. Jackass. 
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ifdragonscouldtalk · 2 years ago
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fun facts about ancient medicine because i can:
we know more about ancient mesopotamian medicine than practically any other aspect of their culture and medical assyriology is a field of study nearly completely independent from assyriology itself. we have a WEALTH of texts, REPEATING TEXTS that in detail describe their healing rituals, incantations, and prescriptions. we could perform one of their rituals ourselves if we wanted. we could diagnose an illness based on the symptoms using their texts if we wanted and give it a sumerian name.
also, while there was an incredible amount of shifting in mesopotamian religion (it was three CENTURIES of empires and culture, after all) there are more healing goddesses than any other god/goddess i've encountered in my studies and she is the patron god of huge swaths of land and many major cities. she was important yall
the longevity of healing rituals (five centuries, give or take, if we aren't including medieval medicine which had its own entirely separate rituals) now has modern scientific basis which is so cool because religion has been proven to activate the same mechanisms in the brain as the placebo affect. religious ritual and belief has the ability to substantially influence the body, particularly the immune system
ancient romans commonly performed cataract surgery. we know because we found the tools to perform cataract surgery a lot of times and we still performed cataract surgery like that with those tools for a loooong time. we have more physical evidence of cataract surgeons than practically every other medical practitioner, aside from gynecologists and templar healers
yeah, ancient greece and rome had gynecologists. they had whole TEXTS about gynecology too. they were sexist as fuck, but sooooo interesting
we have EIGHT BOOKS of medical encyclopedias written for the roman layperson so that the father head of the household (paterfamilias) could understand slightly how to heal his investments (children and slaves)
there is evidence of plastic surgery in rome. one of the emperors i think, i dont remember specifically but yeah they had that
we have great evidence of people making medicines (and poisons) through herbals!! not as weird as the medievals using mummies in medicine, but they did utilize shit (yes you read that right) and in rome human breast milk (the greeks thought that was Gross)
on that note, human breast milk is actually incredible for boosting the immune system and kicking out infection! it was often used for malnourishment (adults and children alike) and treating eye infections (which it is still effective for, but don't try it, please just get some penicillin)
honey is one of the most effective antibacterials we know of to this day, and also helps expedite the healing of wounds. it was first commonly used in ancient egypt. the only reason we don't use it regularly anymore is because of the myth of the scientific method. they are bringing honey back for burns because it is HANDS DOWN the most effective method of treating them. so next time you touch a hot stove, slather some honey on that bitch (after you verify it isnt second or third degree. please please go to the hospital if it is a severe or large burn, it is very dangerous)
because of celsus, we know that ancient humans did in fact treat broken bones through setting
ancient greeks knew that you needed to vary your diet and have proper exercise if you wanted to try and prevent serious illness
we have hollow needles like syringes found in ancient greece and rome. i dont know what they were used for
blood letting also originated in the ancient mediterranean, not medieval europe.
we have more anatomical and healing votives from ancient greece and rome than any other religious artefacts (we have literally THOUSANDS and are constantly uncovering more)
we also have a lot of healing votives from ancient mesopotamia, but they arent anatomical. theyre dogs uwu the healing goddess' patron animal is the dog
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bonky-n-steeb · 3 years ago
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𝐵𝑅𝐸𝐴𝑇𝐻𝐸
𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝚃𝚆𝙾
𝘿𝘼𝙍𝙆!𝘽𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙔 𝘽𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙀𝙎 𝙭 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍 | 𝙈𝙊𝘽!𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙑𝙀 𝙍𝙊𝙂𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙓 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍
𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬:  Your life is as good as it gets. The perfect husband, the perfect daughter, the perfect job. But what you are unaware is that your husband is a deadly assassin and your long-lost friend, now a fearsome mob boss is hell bent on getting you back. But what you don’t know can't hurt you, right?
𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦:  psychological disorder, PTSD, domestic abuse, yandere, obsession, violence, cursing. If you find any of this triggering please DNI. Also inform me if I left something out.
ᴛʜɪs ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇᴛᴀ ʀᴇᴀᴅ, sᴏ ᴀʟʟ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs ᴀʀᴇ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ
My previous account was deleted so I’ll be posting the stories again. I’ll be changing this one, so yeah.
Inform me if y’all wanna be tagged!
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You stared at the ticking clock, counting the seconds for his return, while Iris played with her stuffed tiger that her dada had bought for her. Her father was finally coming home after serving for a really long time in the military. Bucky was everything you had wanted and more. 
Though you both had a small and cute wedding when you were way too young, it still was one of the best days of your life. Since the day you had met him, he had been hell bent on joining the army as he somehow felt the need to protect people after what had happened to his father. So, after serving his first term, while you were still a second-year graduate student, he had proposed and you had accepted without wasting a second.  
Soon you had found yourself pregnant, during your pregnancy, he had been there for your every beck and call. You still remembered his face when Iris was born; it was filled with such adoration and love, you knew you wouldn’t have to worry about anything. Iris was literally the female version of her dad, her cute nose, her lips and most importantly her blue eyes; her eyes had played a small role in naming her.
Having a kid and completing your medical residency had been tough, but whenever Bucky was home, he took care of all the housework and kept Iris busy for as long as possible. Just one thing which you didn’t like was all this time he spent away from home and the immense risk that came along with being on active duty. But he wasn’t just your Bucky, was he, he was Sgt. Barnes, too.  
But now as you sat staring at the clock, you feared that when he returned, Bucky wouldn't be the same man he was. While on duty, there had been an explosion and he had lost his arm. Hearing his voice on the phone was enough to tell you that he was broken. You were waiting to take him in your arms and tell him that it would be fine.
Just then the bell rang and you quickly got up and unlocked the door. And there he was, his eyes without their usual luster, filled with unshed tears. As Iris ran towards him, he quickly scooped her up in his right arm. “dada! I missed you s’much” she said kissing his face. You wondered whether she didn’t notice or was simply ignoring his missing arm after you gave her a little ‘talk’ about it. “I missed you too Rissie! I love you my little princess!” he said smothering her with kisses. “I'm a Queen!” she exclaimed. “Alright your majesty. Now may I enter your palace and meet my wife?” Iris pretended to think and then exclaimed a yes.  
“Hey, don’t cry” he said as he dropped Iris down. You hadn't even noticed that you were crying. You quickly wrapped him in your arms and he held you tight, fearing that you might slip away. You both didn’t speak for a long time, you were too busy being buried in each other's neck, but then you felt the moisture collect on your shoulder. As you let go, you realized his dam had broken and he was crying too.  
“I love you Bucky bunny” you said playfully. Somehow long back, you had come up with this nickname while watching Looney Tunes; your magnificent brain had somehow morphed Bugs Bunny into Bucky bunny. He pretended to hate it saying it sounded like some porn stars name, and therefore you teased him even more. “I love you too.” he replied staring deep into your soul.
☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎
As you both retired to your bedroom after ensuring Iris was fast asleep, you simply laid in bed without talking. Your hands were quietly exploring the same planes of his body you had travelled a million times over. You hesitated to touch his arm at first, fearing whether he was comfortable with it or not. But as you slowly began to trace the scars, he let out a long breath.  
You wished he didn’t have to suffer this; you wished all went to the way it was previously; you wished that his eyes shone just as brightly as they did before. But that didn’t mean you loved him any less now. Though throughout the day he pretended to be just fine, you knew he wasn’t even close to being fine.  
“Are you going to leave me?” he finally broke the silence. You couldn’t help but give him a confused expression, why would he ask that? “You don’t have to pretend. Not with me. Just say and I'll go. I don’t want to be a burden to you... ” you shut him up by kissing him. “I am not leaving you Buck. I’m gonna stick with you like an octopus.” you said chuckling. “Buck, we’ll go through everything and anything if we are together. I just want you to be happy. We'll make it work; we will find a way. And trust me when I say I love you more than anything.”
You spent the entire night, tangled in each other, telling him how much you loved and cherished him.
☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎
You were tired and your back was aching after performing a long surgery. As you opened the door, you were greeted with the smell if your favorite dish being cooked in the house. As you walked straight to the kitchen you were stunned to see Bucky somehow managing to cook with Iris sitting on the kitchen counter. Though the kitchen was a mess, you weren't going to complaint, all you could see was the blinding happiness on his face.
“Look who is back! Guess what mama bear?” Bucky said joyously. You wondered what was the reason behind his joy. “Daddy is gonna get his arm back!” Rissie exclaimed happily. This wasn’t news to you though. You had talked to Bucky about getting a prosthetic arm and he hadn't been half this excited. Seeing your confusion Bucky responded “Well, I got a call this morning. They are not only giving me my job back but giving me a cool new arm. I'll be on duty again!”  
You weren't sure whether to be happy or sad. You were euphoric about Bucky’s job and arm but at the same time you were worried for his life. “That’s amazing Buck!” you hugged him tightly as Iris slipped between you two. Your eyes were filled with happy tears. He was happy and that’s all that mattered right now.
☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎
FOUR YEARS LATER
You finally had a holiday from your hectic schedule as a surgeon. Iris was off to school and after some pushing you had persuaded Bucky to go get groceries. You wondered what had happened to Bucky. Something had changed after he got that arm, rather everything had changed. He wasn’t lively anymore, he got irritated at small things, stared off absently into space not responding to anything, he constantly looked behind his back, nor did he laugh at any of your jokes, you missed his laughter and that's what hurt you the most.  
Not to mention the horrid dead blank stare he gave you some days, intently looking at your every move like a predator, that thing scared the shit out of you. In the past two years not once you and Bucky had accepted Thor’s dinner invitations. You didn’t have many friends, you just had one, Thor. He was with you since your residency and you both worked together as trauma surgeons. Bucky and Thor had become quick friends too and the three of you went on many double dates. But that was a thing of the past. Now, whenever Thor invited you, Bucky simply came up with a stupid reason to not go. Bucky had become so closed off; he wasn’t the thoughtful and jolly Bucky you fell in love with.
Now that you finally had the house to yourself, you had decided to go on a cleaning spree. Currently you were in your bathroom; busy cleaning with your mop, when you accidentally slipped on some spilt soap water and ended up falling right beside the bathtub, your mop flew up and hit the ceiling tiles, thus displacing them. Suddenly a small diary fell right on your head. Placing your right hand on the ledge of the bath tub, you waited for everything to settle down and cursed loudly. “Fuck you, you goddamning son of a bitch! Everything had to fall on my head! Pathetic!”.  
You saw that you mop as now dangling on the bath tub and that stupid diary which had apparently fallen from heaven knows where was laying right beside you. As you looked up, you noticed the displaced tiles and realized that’s where this must have fallen from. As you picked up the diary you noticed there wasn't any dust on it, so there wasn't a chance that the previous owners might have left something in the false ceiling above. And it definitely wasn’t you, Iris was too small to keep something there; that only left Bucky. But why did he never mention this diary before. What exactly was he hiding?
As you opened the diary, you realized that you couldn’t understand a single word written. It felt as it was written in some highly complex code language. You were sure it wasn’t any language spoken everyday by sane humans. As you flipped through the pages you realized that every page was written in the same format. At the top was presumably some names written in the code and the rest was probably the information of that person.  
You wondered how did Bucky know this language? And why didn’t he ever tell you about anything, heck, he didn’t even mention it. And whose names had he written like it was the most confidential file? You got up and quickly closed the lid on the toilet and climbed up on it. You stuck your hand inside the hollow ceiling above to check if he was hiding something more.  
Your hand caught something and you pulled it out, only to realize it was a laptop. You wondered why he needed a second laptop when he already had one for work purposes in the home office. You took the laptop and the diary and sat down in the bathroom itself, so that if you when you would hear Bucky come you would simply put everything back up in the ceiling. You opened the laptop and saw it was password protected. You decided you would have two tries at unlocking the laptop and if you didn’t crack it, you would simply confront him.  
You first tried out typing Iris's name and her date of birth. But it was denied access. You thought for a minute more and entered your own name and your birthdate. And access was granted to you. You didn’t know whether to be happy that he had kept your name as his password or angry that he had been lying to you about whatever this was. As the laptop opened, you saw various files in it. You tapped on one and it seemed to open on a person’s resume. No, it wasn’t a resume, it was that person’s entire life history. It was like those files the assassins carried in movies with all the information about their target. You wondered what Jason Bourne shit this was.
As you read his name and saw the photos attached with it, you felt as if you had seen this person before. As you scrolled further, it finally clicked. A year before this person, who held a high position in the United Nations, was all over the news due to his untimely death caused by a heart attack. You had absolutely no interest in worldly matters, you already had a million problems on your head so you hadn't paid much attention and had not given a flying fuck. But now suddenly sweat was covering your forehead. You were worried sick as to why Bucky had all this information stored in a secret computer.
As you scrolled further, you almost reached the end of the file and that’s when you saw the video. With shaky hands you opened it. It seemed to be the security footage of that man’s bedroom and its resolution was pretty shitty. For the first few minutes all you saw was the man sleeping peacefully but as the video continued, you noticed it. The window in his room was slowly lifted as a man entered. He seemed to be dressed in tactical gear, his face was covered by a mask, but he was given away by one tell-tale sign. His arm. The metal arm with a red star on it glinted in the moonlight and you knew it was Bucky.
You watched as Bucky quietly walked towards the sleeping man. As he stood near the bed, he produced something from his pocket and bent down. As you strained your eyes, you saw that it was an injection. Your eyes widened as you clapped your hand around your mouth. That man hadn't died due to a heart attack, at least not natural. He was murdered by Bucky!
You opened another file, then another, they all were the same. In the beginning it was the information about the person, then a report as to how they died and then a video. All of them were well known figures; and all of them had been assassinated by Bucky. In one of the videos, you saw him choking the life out of a man with his metal arm and your mind wandered to the many times you would playfully tell him to choke you with the metal arm while fucking you; your hand unconsciously went to your throat at the thought.  
Then you opened a file titled: The Winter Soldier. That was weird you thought, the other files were given numbers but not names. As you opened the file, you realized it was Bucky’s own. Apparently, his codename was The Winter Soldier. Everything about him was stated in that file systematically. His background, his education, his military career and the worst of all, there were your and Iris’s photos too. As you continued to read, you realized he wasn’t working in the military anymore. Four years before, the people who had called him were from an organization named Hydra. The name and symbol itself sent chills down your spine. God, was Bucky so stupid, the octopus symbol itself screamed that Hydra was up to no good.
In the beginning, you couldn’t believe Bucky had gotten such a fancy and technological advanced arm. Looking at it you wondered how much it cost, the material and the functions would make it no less than a few million dollars. Now why would the government spend so much money on a sergeant, not that Bucky didn’t deserve it but you were curious.  
It felt as if he was hiding something from you. But you didn’t as ask as you knew he’d come around and tell you soon anyway. He needed time and you had plenty to give. But he never did. You had asked so many times whether the star was a tattoo of some sort and he had always deflected your questions. But now after reading this, you knew what all this was for. The arm, the pay raise, the irregular schedule, it was all Hydra. And Bucky was a professional assassin, and that too a deadly one.
Your eyes watered and bile rose to your throat as you saw a list, it was all the people he had killed, and the list was pretty big. You quickly placed the laptop besides you and began to puke your guts out in the toilet. In all the panic you failed to notice that a person was holding back your hair and soothingly rubbing your back.  
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