#and next week is the graduation night for the 3rd years and my friends and i are volunteers so we get to hang out at a cool event

[transgaysex]

guys tomorrow is my last day of my first year of 3d animation . im sooooo tired but really excited and nervous

[vnti-vntiety-recs]

Swallowing The Pain (M)

★  PAIRING: Simp! Jeno x Toxic Bully! Reader

☆ WORD COUNT:  6.4k

★ GENRE(S): Smut, Angst,Drama, Friends to enemies to lover??

☆ SUMMARY: After getting into the same college, you and your best friend Jeno were supposed to live the college experience together, so how did he get stuck becoming your errand boy? Your friendship is put to the test when you bully Jeno to impress your new college friends.

★ ☆ WARNINGS: Bullying, Peer pressure, Reader is really toxic in this one. Swearing. Drinking, Car sex, READER IS A HUGE BITCH, MDNI

☆★ NOTES: This is the 3rd installment of THE POISON ARCHIVES! This series is very toxic so beware. Each story is based off of lyrics from their song poison!

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♫₊˚.“Can’t keep count How many times I fall to my knees”♫₊˚.

Jeno doesn't have many friends, and he likes to keep it that way. The few that he does have, he likes to keep close. That's why, no matter how many times you stomp his heart out, he won't ever leave your side. You and Jeno had been friends since high school. Back then, his closest friends were you, Doyoung, and Johnny. Johnny and Doyoung went off to college first, leaving you and Jeno. The two of you started to hang out alone more, and that's when he fell for you.

Since then, you guys have graduated and gone off to college, luckily getting accepted to the same campus. For the first year, you two were inseparable. You had the majority of all your classes together and even joined a few clubs together. Everyone used to think you two were dating; the rumors made you blush, but by the next year, you were surrounded by new friends and potential love interests. Jeno had made a few new friends as well: Computer science major Jisung and sports journalism major Chenle. These two are the ones currently chewing him out. Jeno was currently sitting crisscrossed on his door room floor leveling up his character in Elder Scrolls when Jisung and Chenle invited themselves over like usual to raid his fridge and eat his snacks. Jeno has been called at least half the names in the book. His friends can't help but curse him for being so stupid.

Jeno, you've gotta have some self-respect, man. You can't keep letting her do this to you." Jisung groaned again for the hundredth time that night. "She is clearly playing you! Dude, go look in a mirror; you can have any other girl!"

Jisung had a point. Jeno had been approached by several girls since the start of college, but he turned them down. He doesn't have time for distractions when he's trying to keep up with you.

"You know it's a scary world when Jisung is right about something," Chenle shudders. "But I agree that whatever you had with her clearly doesn't mean anything anymore based on how she treats you." Chenle huffs, mindlessly tossing his basketball in the air and catching it.

Guys, I really didn't ask. literally, Who let you in?" Jeno is annoyed; his character's health was at half-bar, and they were wreaking havoc on his concentration.

"We made a spare key," Jisung says nonchalantly.

Dude, you weren't supposed to tell him!" Chenle sits up straight, glaring at Jisung, contemplating if he should throw the ball at his big head. "We only come in to eat; we promise we don't go snooping!" Chenle tries to save face.

Jeno signs exasperatedly. He always wondered what always happened to his leftovers, and he's relieved to know it was these two dorks stealing his food and not some hobo living in his walls. He once read a creepypasta about a similar story, spooked himself out, and slept with the lights on for a week.

Jeno knows that they are right, but he can't bear to lose you. Since the start of your second year of college, you two have started to drift apart as you became more popular. You started partying more; you said you wanted your money's worth and to get the complete college experience. Jeno, being the introvert he is, disagreed. He just wanted to lay low for 4 years, get his degree, and dip. He only applied to get his parents off his back about it. He didn't think he would actually be accepted. In the beginning, you would invite him out and try to drag him along to the parties, but he would turn you down. He would always tell you that he wanted to catch up on studies or hop on the game with the boys. At first, it didn't bother you—not until it did.

One night, you just snapped. You said he was a terrible friend and that he needed to grow up. You just couldn't wrap your head around it. You're finally free from your overbearing parents, and you can go wild. All Jeno wanted to do was stay home and read webtoons! You were upset that he wouldn't change his lifestyle. The first year, you would have agreed with Jeno, but now you're comfortable and ready to explore. He's supposed to do everything with you; you don't care if it's out of his comfort zone. Since that night, you have grown cold toward him. You two never hung out anymore; you were constantly around your new friends. You wouldn't spare him a glance. So Jeno did the only thing he could think of to keep you close. He became your pet.

He's at your beck and call like a puppy. He doesn't even know how or when it happened; he just knows that whenever you call, he's running to where you are. Anything you need, he provides happily. You tease and bully him in front of your friends, but he doesn't care. As long as you look at him again, he's satisfied. Jisung and Chenle despise you. They think you're a cold-hearted ice queen and can't even imagine how Jeno came to become friends with you in the first place.

They have hated you since the day you ordered Jeno to bring you a coke in the main campus cafeteria. As usual, he happily does your bidding, his tail practically wagging behind him as he goes. He's bringing you back a nice chilled coke in under 5 seconds. Before you even take a sip, you crack it open and dump it on his head.

"Bad puppy, don't you know I only drink diet?" You drop the can in front of his feet and plop back down in your seat. Your friends burst into laughter, and you feel satisfied. You hope that, with this, they will like you more.

Your group of friends, if you can even call them that, say you're too soft; they're always making you prove yourself to them. You liked being invited out and being among the popular crowd, so you did as they told you. Jeno is shocked, but before he can even say anything, an angry Chenle comes over to curse you out. You can't even argue back because Jeno is pulling him away all while dripping wet, leaving a sad trail behind him. Since that day, Jisung and Chenle have tried everything to help Jeno get over you.

Jeno was upset that you publicly humiliated him in front of half the student body, but he can't help replaying the sound of your laughter in his head over and over. Even when you're laughing at his misfortune, Jeno thinks your laugh is the prettiest tinkling sound he's ever heard. He'd let you pour 10 more cans of soda on his head if he got to hear it again. That's why he's right back by your side the next day, jumping through hoops for you.

Guys, look, I don't care what you think; you don't know her like I do," Jeno sighs, finally pausing his game.

"So-called free thinkers when a baddie is involved," Jisung shakes his head disapprovingly. Chenle snickers in return.

"Would you guys leave already? The snacks are gone, and I'm not refilling them for another week, so don't even bother coming over." Jeno gets up, snatches the basketball out of Chenle's hands, and kicks Jisung's foot, signaling for him to stand up. "Both of you are out now; I need to think!"

They groan in unison and make their way to the front door, leaving Jeno alone in his room. Jeno lays back into his bed and shuts his eyes.

He really does want time to think. He's not proud of his actions, either. He wants to be rid of you, but no one will ever understand how lonely it is, so have your closest friend turn their back on you. Jeno was thrown into a new environment with no one to turn to. He only had you. He blames himself; he thinks he was too caught up in his own fears, and that is why he lost you. If only he were braver, if only he took more risks, he could truly stand next to you. He doesn't want to think anymore, so he sits up and begins to busy himself. Just as he shuts off his console and gets ready for bed, his phone rings. He had a specific ringtone set just for you, so he knows when you're calling. He practically dives back into his bed, rummaging through the covers, trying to get to his phone.

Jisung was right; he was a so-called free thinker.

His hand finally grazes it, and he pushes the covers out of the way. He answers the call, barely able to speak, trying hard to catch his breath.

"He-hello?" He heaves, trying his best to sound normal.

"Why are you so out of breath? You just got done fucking?" You inquire, annoyed that he didn't answer on the first ring.

"Would that make you jealous?" Jeno says hopefully

"Don't piss me off," you scoff, rolling your eyes, though you know he can't see it.

Sorry," he immediately backtracks, "did you need me?"

Unfortunately, yes, my ride left me, and I have no way home. I need you to come get me." Just as you finish your sentence, Jeno’s phone dings. You had sent him your location: "I sent the address; please don't keep me waiting, puppy." And with that, you hang up.

Jeno doesn't waste time getting properly dressed and decides to just wear what he has been lounging around in all day. It's around 11 p.m. when he parks his car. He tries to call you, letting you know he's arrived, but you don't pick up. You never do. Jeno gets out, decides to look for you, and makes his way across the lawn and into the frat house. He feels a little underdressed now; all he's wearing are some grey sweats and a muscle tee. He didn't think he would have to get out of the car. The girls ogling his muscular arms don't make the situation any better. They could care less about what he was wearing; they want to see more of what's underneath. He's a bit embarrassed but continues his search of the house.

He spots a few of your friends and asks them if they have seen you. He can barely make out their slurred words, but he thinks they mention something about the bathroom upstairs, so he heads upstairs in search of you. He can see the bathroom straight down the hall. As he approaches, he notices the bathroom door partially cracked and pushes it open, peeking his head in. His eyes lock with yours. Your head is thrown back, and your legs are wrapped around some guy's waist as he gropes you over your clothes.

Jeno, you could try knocking," you say nonchalantly.

"The… The door was open, so I—" he stutters, eyes wide open.

"Alright, the show is over; I'll be right there." You roll your eyes, pushing the handsome stranger away from you and jumping down from the counter.

You're gonna leave me just like that?" the stranger teasingly pulling you back into him

"Sorry Yuta, let's catch up later, okay?" You give him a saucy wink and brush past him.

"You said that last time," he reminds you, pouting cutely as he watches as you pull Jeno by the collar of his shirt down the hall.

"Hold me to it, okay?" You yell over your shoulder and make your way down the stairs with Jeno in tow.

Jeno is quiet as you two venture down the stairs; he knows he shouldn't ask, but curiosity gets the best of him. "Who was that?" he whispers once you cross the lawn back to his car away from the thumping music of the party.

"That was tonight's fuck. Thanks a lot, Cockblock," you mumble, rolling your eyes as you wait by the passenger door so he can open it for you. He buckled you in before getting in on the driver's side.

"I'm sorry" He's not. "You should have told me you were going to be busy."

You don't reply, and you just look out the window. You can see his image reflecting off your window thanks to the dark skies, which turn it into something like a black mirror. You didn't get a good look at him at the party, but now he's all you can see as his arms flex as he grips the steering wheel. Your eyes trail down to the way he bites his lip in concentration, probably thinking of something to say.

You hate it here.

You had been pent up for the last few days, so when you bumped into Yuta, it was a miracle, and when he asked you to go upstairs with him for a quickie, you could almost cry tears of happiness. You did not expect Jeno to arrive so quickly; the man lived like 20 minutes away! Was he speeding? Regardless, the lust that clouds your eyes is making Jeno look a little too good. You hadn't really had a moment alone with him since last year, and you forgot how insanely hot he was.

Honestly, you had a bit of a crush in high school; that's why it hurt when he would turn down every chance to hang out. Sure, you were upset that he didn't want to spend time with you, but you just had to drag it out, didn't you? With the way you're practically throbbing over him, you regret it now more than ever. The way he leaned back into his seat, his posture relaxed, one hand on the wheel, and his legs slightly spread, had you nearly about to jump out of the car to escape the tension. You were still too stubborn to admit you were wrong and make up with him, so you sat in silence and suffered. All you can think about now is how pretty you would look perched right on top of his lap. If you weren’t horny before, you definitely are now. You're so far into your perverted thoughts that you almost miss the way the car jerks forward.

"What was that?" You're sitting up straight now, looking around in panic.

"shit… I think I popped a tire," Jeno groans in disbelief.

"Oh come on, I'm not walking in these heels, Jen!" Don't you have a spare?" you ask, failing to hold in your complaints.

"No, Jisung begged me to take it out so he could fit his stupid bike in the back when we went hiking a few weeks ago, and I never got around to putting it back in." Jeno sighs irritatedly and drops his head back against his seat.

"Nice going, asshat."

"Not helping" 

"How are we gonna get home?"

"You know I would be home if it weren't for you?"

Well, maybe if you watched the road more carefully, you wouldn't have hit anything."

"Oh fuck you!"

Jeno rarely got angry, and he especially never yelled at you. Your constant complaining and the stress of the situation were not helping his mood. Not to mention, it was almost 12 a.m. now, and he was tired and annoyed.

You wouldn't want him any other way.

"Watch your mouth puppy, or do I need to watch it for you?" You raise an eyebrow.

He unbuckled his seatbelt so he could fully turn to face you. His jaw was tight, and his eyes were hardened.

"I said, fuck yo-"

He couldn't even finish his sentence before you kissed him. One second you were sitting across from him; the next you were climbing into his lap, leaving feverish kisses down his neck.

"Fuck me? Your right, fuck me. You owe me an orgasm anyway," you say with a wicked smile.

Jeno can't help but reattach your lips to his; it's like his only line of oxygen. He never thought that the day would come when he could touch you so intimately. He lets his seat recline and pulls you down with him. Luckily, the car broke down in an area that doesn't catch much traffic, and even if someone were to pass by, Jeno’s tinted car would shield your dignity from prying eyes. He's running his hands anywhere he can reach; his touch is near desperate. Soon his hands venture up the back of your shirt and unclasp your bra. You help him remove it, and once you discard the offensive material, you lift your shirt over your head. Jeno is face-to-face with your naked chest and can't manage to tear his eyes away.

"What? Don't tell me you're a virgin, Jen." You tease him lightly, and before you can take another jab at him, he pulls you down against his mouth to suck at your nipples. In all honesty, Jeno didn't have much experience, but for you, he was willing to learn your body. He wanted to know how to touch you and get you to beg for him. Most importantly, though, he wanted to make you shut your fucking mouth.

"Get in the back," He commands.

You don't even bother trying to think of a snappy reply. You kind of liked it when he bossed you around. Usually he was the one taking orders; you never realized how sexy he could be making them. You climb into the back as Jeno exits through the driver's side door to meet you in the back. Once he joins you in the backseat, you're immediately grabbing at his clothes, needing to touch every inch of him. You help him undress, and you're finally able to get his pants past his waist. You can't help the whine that slips out. The moment you laid eyes on it, you knew it was K.O.

He had the prettiest cock you had ever seen, and you could barely contain yourself as you imagined taking him in several different positions. The stretch was gonna hurt so good. He tries to at least finger you, wanting to stretch you out a bit, but you pull his arm away. You're far too impatient, so you just tell him to grab a condom from your purse in the front seat.

"Jen, don't go easy on me; I can take it," you say with a lick of your lip as he slips on the condom. You're not able to pull your eyes away until he grabs your face and makes you look at him.

"Wasn't planning on it, princess."

That's all the warning you get before he's fucking into you. He doesn't wait for you to adjust; he gives it to you just like you asked, and you couldn't be any happier. Even though he was literally inside of you, you needed him closer. You immediately wrap your legs around his waist and pull him down into your chest. He fucks you like this for a few more moments until he takes over. You were always pushing and pulling him to get what you wanted, but not this time. He roughly pulled your legs from his hips, pinning them to your chest. He sits up and leans into you, fucking you harder with the new leverage. You can't help but whine.

"Jeno please"

"Shut up and just take what I give you." He was fed up with you. All you do is demand more and more from him. He's sick of being your compliant little puppy. He pulls out of you, and you nearly cry at the lack of contact. Before you can even fix your mouth to complain, he's flipping you on your hands and knees and shoving your face into his seats. When he enters you again, he's fucking you like a madman. The car is practically rocking, and you can't help but moan as he delivers a few spanks to your right ass cheek.

"So greedy. Always wanting more." He slowly pulls out, watching how your walls try to desperately suck him back in. Then he's thrusting in deep. "Look at how you take me."

Your back arches as you moan. There are no thoughts in your head at this point. All you can think about is his cock and how it has to be rearranging your guts at this point. You're trying to match his thrust as you slam your hips back into his, but It's almost too much. The way his cock was practically bullying your insides makes you hesitate for a second, your thighs shaking. Jeno notices the way your movements falter, and he chuckles. You cower away from the next thrust and whine.

"Nuh uh, baby, this is how you wanted it, right? Don't tell me you're all talk. You can take it." He leans over your shoulder, whispering deviously into your ear. the position, slowing his hips down just enough for you to catch your breath. "You want it, baby? Answer me," he punctuated with deep, slow strokes.

No one's home. You're definitely gone in the head by now, but when he threatens to pull out again, you open your mouth and just let whatever spill out. "Fuck, don't stop. I can take it."

"You gonna be my good girl?"

"Yes just...please!" You can feel your eyes start to water, and you can't stop the hiccups that escape with them.

Aw, my precious baby. You wanna cum?"

"Please!" You wail, "Just please don't stop Jen. I think I'll die if you do. I need you so bad." You ramble

Just like always, Jeno gives you exactly what you want. He's picking up speed and fucking you until you're creaming all over his cock, soaking his thighs in your essence. You can hardly hold yourself up as he uses you. You're just a whole to him right now, and he's stuffing you with his cum after a few more deep strokes. After a moment, he pulls out and immediately checks on you.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me." His attitude flipped like a lightswitch.

One moment he's ordering you around, splitting you in half on his cock, and the next he's apologizing profoundly, almost crying at the thought that he was too rough with you. It was like one moment he was Mr. Hyde, and the next he was Dr. Jekyll.

"It's ok, Jen, that was amazing, seriously." You sit up and caress his face, trying your best to calm him down. He sighs in relief at your response. He disposes of the used condom and helps you get dressed.

Once you two get settled back in the front seats, he can't help but ask the question that's been tormenting him since the post-nut clarity hit.

"So what now?"

"What do you mean?"

"What are we?"

"Don't get the wrong idea. Jeno, that was probably the hardest I've ever come, but you're still my puppy and nothing more. You were just paying me back the orgasm you ruined," you shrug as you flip his passenger mirror down and check your hair and makeup.

He can only manage a small "oh". Of course, this meant nothing to you; it was probably just another Friday fuck to you. He calls a tow truck to break the awkward silence. It arrives in around 15 minutes, and the driver is kind enough to drop you both off at campus. Jeno walks you home like a gentleman and then heads home himself. When he finally lays in bed, all he can do is stare at the ceiling and try to swallow the pain.

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A week had passed since the incident, and you were right—he really was nothing but a puppy to you. Everything had gone back to the way it previously was, and the situation was never brought up again. He almost would have believed it was a dream, but his new tire was a clear reminder that it was not. You go back to your usual self, bossing him around and humiliating him. Tonight he gets a text from you around 10 telling him to get dressed because he is going to be your date to a party. It surprised Jeno, to say the least. He was usually just your personal chauffeur, dropping you off and picking you up at different parties all week. To say that he was excited to be given this little promotion was an understatement. Jisung and Chenle were back now that the snack cabinet had been filled again. Since they were back, their constant commentary on Jeno’s issue was too. They were 100% against Jeno going to this party, but he ignored them and got dressed anyway. He drowned out their complaints, ushered them out the door, and locked it behind him.

Dude, come on, something is definitely up." Jisung pulls his hair in frustration.

"I'm gonna need you to find a new girl to obsess over because I'm really getting sick of having to agree with Jisung." Look at what you're doing to me," Chenle sasses.

Guys, relax; if anything is up, I'll text you, ok?" Jeno grunts as he walks towards his car. He completely ignores their protests and drives off to meet you at the address you texted earlier.

Just before he pulls around the corner that turns off of his street, he looks in his rear view mirror and sees his house lights on again. Jisung and Chenle use their spare key to sneak back inside his house. He rolls his eyes and keeps driving. At this point, he was used to their antics. Apparently they've been doing this for months, and he never took notice, so he's not worried about them making a mess or taking anything. Well, anything that's not food

It's a small college town, so he reaches his destination in about 15 minutes. He finds himself outside of a townhome when he decides to text you. There's no loud music or drunken bodies staggering around the yard. He's starting to think he's arrived too soon when you head out to greet him. He's always been able to read you like a book, so once he notices a hint of worry hidden behind a forced smile, he begins to wonder what's going on.

"Are you good?" he asks gently when you grab his hand.

"Yea just… Yeah, come on, let's go inside; the others are waiting." you smile.

You are smiling at him. The one who hasn't smiled at anything but his misfortune for the past year His alarms were definitely going off, but he let you pull him inside anyway. Once you two make it through the door, he notices it's not really a party but a small get-together between you and your friends.

"Hey Jeno, glad you could make it," they greeted him. Why was everyone being so nice? He looks to you for some answers.

"We were just hanging out and thought it would be fun if you joined, you explain, pulling him to the living room where an array of alcohol bottles were laid out.

Yeah, we were just hanging out and drinking."

"Oh, I can't really hold my alcohol," Jeno mentions awkwardly, and he sits down next to you on the couch. Your friends all laugh like he just said the funniest joke.

"Oh don't be a party pooper. Come on, here's a shot. We’ll even give you a chaser," your friend pushes.

He hesitates for a few moments before he finally folds. Maybe if he can loosen up for a night, he’ll finally be able to get a glimpse into the life that you lived. Maybe all this time you were right—maybe college was about living life to the fullest. Jeno takes the shot and has to force himself not to make a disgusted expression at the taste. He turns to you for your approval, but you just have that worried look on your face again.

"Jen, you don't have to do this if you don't want to; you know that, right?" you whisper. 

"I'm not a baby; isn't this what you wanted?" Jeno grumbles, ignoring you and taking another shot that your friend hands him. He's only two shots in, and he's already feeling it.

"Alright guys, that's enough for him, alright?" You speak hesitantly.

"When did you get so boring? Aren't you the one who always bullies him?" Your friend spit, "Stop trying to ruin our fun."

Jenos head is already spinning, but when he's handed another shot, he downs it almost instantly.

"That's my man!" Your other friend claps Jeno on the back. Jeno can barely manage a smile; he's starting to feel nauseated, and the strong scent of alcohol isn't helping.

"Look, I don't care! He's cut off!" When your friend tries to hand him another drink, you smack it out of her hand, spilling it all over the front of her dress.

"What the fuck is your problem? This is Gucci!" your friend screeches. Everything is moving so fast; everyone is yelling, and Jeno can't make out any faces. It's like his head is underwater, and the next thing he knows, he's being pulled to his feet. He can barely make out your silhouette pulling him along out of the door. You walk him to his car and help him lay down in the back seat. He's lying on his back, one arm covering his eyes from the light that shines down on him as you search his pockets for his keys.

Sorry, Jen, I'm going to get you home, okay?" You try your best to be quick. You find his keys in his back pocket and shut the back door, turning off the annoying light in return. You climb into the driver's seat and make your way to his house. When you arrive, you help him out of the back seat and to the door. Your driving is shitty. Jeno thinks you were playing Mario Kart the way you hit every single pothole on the way home. He's trying his hardest not to throw up when you open his door, but he can't help it. He pukes by the front door. You curse and help him sit down. You don't realize someone else is in the house, so when you're walking down the hall to the bathroom to get a wet towel, you see a tall figure in the hallway, and you scream. You startled not only Jeno but also Jisung, who was coming to check what all the noise was about.

"What are you doing here?" He yells back, still a bit frightened.

"I was bringing Jeno home," you huff as you hold your chest, trying to calm down your racing heart.

"What did you do to Jeno, you hussy?" Another voice yells from behind Jisung; you can't see him, so you peek around Jisung's frame and see Chenle’s smaller one.

Ugh, you're here too?" you groan. You were already stressed, and these two goofballs were just going to make it worse.

Guys, please, my head hurts," Jeno quietly groans from his position on the couch.

Jisung and Chenle race past you from the hallway into the living room, and they see Jeno on the couch.

Jeno knew he looked a mess, they were not going to let him live this down. He would have to spend a week hearing "I told you so" from them.

"Oh my god, He's dead!" Chenle wails

"He just spoke to you, idiot." You roll your eyes.

No, he didn't liar! You killed him, and now his ghost is trying to speak to us! What is it, Jeno? Who did it?" Jisung chimed in, dramatically falling to his knees in front of Jeno.

"Whose snacks are we gonna eat?" Chenle continues; he paces the room, biting his thumb.

"SHUT UP!" Jeno yells, immediately clutching his head in anguish.

"HE'S ALIVE!" They both shouted in relief.

"Don't worry, bro, I'll get you some Tylenol," Jisung says as he heads back down the hall towards the bathroom.

Now that the chaos has ceased, Chenle turns to look at you. Look, I don't know what happened, but you need to leave," Chenle says seriously from his spot perched next to Jeno. We were his real friends; we can take it from here," he adds with a scowl.

Jisung emerges shortly after with a glass of water and some pills. He helps Jeno sit up and makes sure he takes the medicine. As you watch them care for Jeno, you realize how terrible you are. Sure, they can be annoying, but because of you, Jeno is suffering. All this time, you have been making him suffer over something so childish, and you're disgusted with yourself. You can't even recognize yourself anymore, and you're sure if Doyoung and Johnny saw who you had become, they wouldn't be able to either.

Jeno used to be your best friend, and this was what your relationship reduced to? Chenle was right; you weren't his friend. You screwed up big time. You ruined everything just for the attention of a few people who don't even care about you. You gently sit Jenos keys down on the coffee table and leave. It's a chilly night, but you need to feel the bite of the wind snipping at your skin. You bear it because you deserve it. You cry silently all the way back until you reach your dorm.

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It's been a few days since then, and Jeno has been ignoring you since. He had woken up the next day still feeling out of it. Jisung did his best to catch him up to speed, and he remembers what happened. A small part of him wants to thank you for protecting him, while the other, bigger part is pissed that you even brought him there in the first place. You knew your friends were up to no good, but you still let him walk into their trap.

For the past few days, whenever you tried to approach him in the halls, he would turn the other way. He sent your calls straight to voicemail and left your messages on delivered. You deserved it after all, after what you did to him. Even so, you still want to explain yourself and apologize.

So maybe you follow him around after all of his classes like a lost puppy waiting for the chance to speak with him, and maybe you even try groveling to Chenle and Jisung for help, but they refuse. It isn't until you catch him in the library late one Sunday night. You honestly didn't expect him to be here; it was already 1 a.m., and you knew he had an early class the next day. You figured he must be pulling an all-nighter again. You approach cautiously, trying to ease your way into his space.

"Jen, can we talk, please?" You barely whisper, still afraid you may scare him away.

"Im busy," he replies curtly. The desk he's sitting at is covered in papers and textbooks. You almost leave from the guilt of interrupting him and breaking his concentration, but you stay. For once, you stay.

"Why are you here anyway? Why not just study at home? It's not like you have a roommate," you inquired. Jeno used to have a roommate, but he dropped out due to stress.

"Chenle and Jisung keep inviting themselves over", Jeno huffs irritatedly. "What is this? 20 questions? I don't want to talk to you!" Jeno flips the page of his textbook angrily, almost ripping it out.

Well, then just listen! Im sorry, ok? I'm sorry about everything. I know I was a huge bitch, and I wish I could say I never meant to hurt you, but I can't because I did! I did mean to hurt you, but I'm sorry!" You ramble, "I should have never tried to pressure you into being someone you're not. I should have respected your boundaries and not insulted you when all you wanted to do was stay in your comfort zone. And now look! The moment you finally do try something new, you suffer from it." You try to fight back the tears because you really weren't here to make him feel bad.

When the first tear falls down your face, Jeno can't help but feel his heart tighten in pain.

His face morphs from one of annoyance to one of worry. When you begin to cry harder, he can't help himself and springs up from his seat, engulfing you in a hug. Before today, there was no warmth in your arms, but now he was almost overwhelmed by your heat.

"You're a terrible friend, and I hate that I'm in love with you, but no matter how many times I try to let you go, I just can't stay away from you."

You hug him tighter at his confession, not wanting to let him go. "Jeno, I'm sorry, can we please just start over? I swear, I'll be better for you. I'm gonna do my best to make up for all the stupid shit I did. You plead. 

Jeno is quiet for a few more moments, and you almost think he's going to reject your offer, but he doesn't. "We can start small." He whispers into your hair and plants a kiss on your head before pulling away.

You look up into his eyes, and you can still see a tinge of hurt, but you can also see hope. You know he's serious about wanting to give you another shot, so you make a promise to yourself to never hurt him again. You guys start slow and hang out more, and you finally make amends with Jisung and Chenle. You find out that they are actually some of the most endearing people you have ever met. They can be a bit mischievous, but they mean well. After a month, you and Jeno start dating officially.

You definitely gave a few people whiplash with how fast your relationship developed. Just a few months ago, you were walking him like a dog, keeping a tight leash on him, and now you were walking to class hand in hand, laughing at each other's jokes like it never happened. Things were finally as they should be. You missed your best friend more than anything in the world. You hope you never have to learn what it feels like to miss your boyfriend.

[ang3l0fde4th4ndd0gs]

James X Evan x Reggie

I of course can't help it and wrote this a bit ago. Life got very very busy so I apologize for not posting microfics for a while. But I have at least two done and I will try to post a 3rd soon.

Word Count: 1,097

NSFW, Violence Warning Under the cut

“Evan, I’m telling you, nothing’s gonna happen here. We’re both Barty’s exes. I can’t. He’d kill us both.”Regulus explained. It was the same conversation the two had been having for a week and Regulus was becoming annoyed with it.

“James already agreed. Please?”Evan asked again.

“Rosie, I keep telling you. Barty will kill us both and leave no evidence without hesitation. Stop asking.”

“Why do you care so much what he thinks anyway?”

“Because he’s still my friend. I don’t betray people that way.”

“If I told you why we broke up, you in particular would be all over me right now.”

“Told you, I don’t want to know.”

“Reg-”

“Evan, don’t.”

Regulus opened his book again, reading silently. The silence was broken in seconds.

“Barty used the torture curse on your brother. I managed to refuse and get away but he kept going.”Evan blurted out, fidgeting with his fingers.

Regulus’ hands tensed up and he dropped his book in his lap. “Why would he do that?”

“Because he seemed to enjoy it.”

“He…”Regulus couldn’t finish the sentence, he only shook his head

“What do you think of your friend now, hm?”

“Evan, please don’t. Yes, what he did was absolutely horrible. But what am I supposed to do with that?”

“Help me make him feel awful. That’s all. Fuck the hell out of me until he walks in and sees it.”

“He’ll kill all three of us, Evan.”

“He won’t. I’ll keep us safe.”

“Evan, you’re out of your mind.”

“I’m pissed and heartbroken and mortified because our best friend used the torture curse on people I care about. I’m not crazy for that.”

“Because you really didn’t know that he would do something like that.”

“I didn’t know that he was cruel, I knew all too well that he was crazy but that’s it.”

“What all are you looking for here?”Regulus asked, moving from his laying position on his bed to sit on the side of his face, his full attention on Evan.

“A one night stand to piss off our ex boyfriend and make him leave us alone. That’s all. Anything further can be a different conversation.”

Regulus just sat quietly, mulling over the idea. Evan pulled at the rips in his jeans silently.

“Evan, why James and I both? You could have picked anyone. You could have chosen Sirius, honestly.”Regulus asked.

“Because you’re you. You were everything to him even while he and I were together. And you getting with James, well, that drove him mad.”

“Guess that’s fair. But how do we even know that we’d be good together? Not like we’ve even been undressed around each other or anything.”

“Could test it first.”

“Go get James, Rosier.”

Evan smirked and left the room to go get James. Regulus gently pulled at his blazer, thinking about whatever may happen next.

Only a few minutes later, Evan returned with James following close behind him. Regulus looked up at James immediately.

“James, you agreed to this?”Regulus asked.

“He hurt Sirius. Of course I did.”James replied.

“James, why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to tell you how your best friend hurt your brother that way.”

Regulus chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment, staring at his lap.

“Evan, do you know why I’ve only ever had two boyfriends?”Regulus asked.

“No.”Evan replied.

“I was not born a male… James paid for my top surgery because my parents would never have let me. I have a flat chest but uhm… Still a girl on the bottom.”

“Oh. Me too.”

“You… Huh? It’s been seven years, we graduate in a week and you couldn’t have told me that…?”

“Didn’t figure it would matter. You’ve been with someone the whole time.”

Regulus shook his head, smiling a little. Evan smirked and sat down beside Regulus.

“I swear, I thought you guys would have lost your minds if I ever told you that.”Regulus laughed.

“Well, we’re cooler than that, c’mon now.”

“Just making sure.”

“How do you want to check the chemistry here?”

“Are you really asking me that?”

Evan grinned as he glanced at James. “Still good with it, Potter?”

“Anything to make that fucker jealous.”

“Ooh. Swearing? Damn.”

Regulus grabbed Evan’s chin with two fingers and pressed his lips to the blonde’s. Evan grabbed hold of Regulus’ uniform shirt. When they parted for air, Regulus was half in Evan’s lap and James was leaning against the bedpost, smirking.

“Is that a final yes?”Evan teases, glancing down at Regulus’ legs still straddling his thigh.

“Yes. Definitely a yes.”Regulus replied.

“Potter?”

“Oh, you two have fun. I’d just watch if I was allowed.”James replied.

“Are you sure you’re gay?”Evan laughed.

James flipped Evan the finger. “Pansexual and he doesn’t even react like that to me. So have fun. I’ll be here.”

“Deal.”

Regulus blushed slightly, grinding gently against Evan’s thigh. Evan wrapped his hands around his roommates’ hips.

“Oh~? Does that feel good?”he teased Reg, resting his forehead on the other boy’s.

“Shut up, Rosie.”

“Move faster and I’ll consider it.”

Regulus picked up his pace, letting out soft moans as he grinded his clit against Evan’s thigh.

“Pants off. You’re going to ruin them.”James teased.

“So it is a fetish thing.”Evan joked as he unbuttoned Regulus’ uniform pants.

“If it was a fetish, I’d get him off more and let him ruin both.”

“Oh, fuck. Definitely do that.”

“Reggie?”

“Anything.”Regulus moaned. “It’s all hot. Just please don’t stop.”

James sat behind Regulus and slid his arm around his boyfriend’s waist, his fingers toying with the other boy’s clit. Regulus moaned louder, becoming overstimulated by the two boys getting him off.

“Please~”he moaned, leaning back and resting his head in James’ neck.

“Please what?”Evan replied, reaching across to cup James’ dick in one hand over his jeans.

“More~”

James gasped softly as he slowly started to grind against Evan’s hand.

“Oh shit…”James moaned.

“Tell me when to stop?”Evan asked, smirking.

“Don’t. Fuck.”

Evan unbuttoned and unzipped James’ uniform pants. “Since you’re so worried about ruining them.”

James gasped as Evan’s hand got closer, only a thin layer of fabric between the boy’s palm and his dick. In moments, the three of them were moaning and finishing, covering the blankets and each others’ laps. Though they weren't paying attention, Barty had been standing in the doorway for at least a few minutes, watching silently, his wand leveled at the back of James’ head.

[liaromancewriter]

Reflections and Renewals

Premise: Cassie’s temper flares up as the first anniversary of the poison attack approaches, but she soon learns the value of second chances.

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Cassie Valentine); Feat. Max Valentine, Sienna Trinh, Rafael Aveiro, Naveen Banerji Rating/Category: Teen. Angsty Fluff. Format: Prose + Text & Pic Fic Words: 2,495 TW: Mentions minor character deaths in the past, PTSD, dealing with grief

A/N: In Lia Land, Cassie & Max’s birthday is on October 5 and the poison attack happens in 3rd week of October. This fic is set on the first anniversary and shortly after the first part of Two Birthdays.

Submission for @choicesflashfics​​ Prompt 2 “Even when you’re next to me, it feels like you’re miles away.”  For @choicesmonthlychallenge​ Falltober prompts “leaves” and “candles” and @choicesficwriterscreations​ Naughty or Nice event "You ordered takeout from my favorite restaurant?" "You were having a bad day." (Nice prompt)

Finally, I’m using prompt number 5 from @creativepromptsforwriting​​​ Angsty Fighting prompts and tagging for reblog to @creativepromptfills​​​. All prompts in bold.

Part  1: The Shadows

Cassie Valentine could feel her head pounding and her heart rate accelerating the closer she got to Edenbrook. It was like a monster waiting in the shadows to burst out and devour its victim.

She walked around to the staff entrance, took the elevator to her floor, and swiped the access card to enter the locker room. Her breathing was ragged, and she forced herself to even it out.

Cassie thought she’d come a long way from the survivor’s guilt she’d felt last year. Therapy helped her overcome the trauma, but if she was honest, the anger never entirely disappeared. This week had been the worst, with the anniversary of the poison attack coming up.

She’d heard her friends whispering and knew they were worried about her. Her shouting match with Jackie over dirty dishes left in the sink hadn’t been her finest moment. Neither had the spiteful words she’d exchanged with Elijah over some stupid video game.

Cassie knew she was being a bitch as it happened, but she couldn’t stop herself. Even Sienna had glanced at her with something resembling shock. Cassie couldn’t stand it anymore. She had packed up an overnight bag and went to spend the night at Ethan’s.

“Did you get a bug bite?”

Sienna’s voice and light tap on the shoulder broke through her thoughts. Cassie realized she’d been standing in front of her open locker, staring unseeing inside as she scratched at her arms. The skin on her forearm was turning red, the whiteness of the scratches from her nails standing out.

“Cassie, are you alright?” Sienna asked, concerned.

“I’m fine,” Cassie told her, rolling her sleeves down and shrugging on her white coat. “Really, Si.” She insisted when Sienna didn’t look convinced.

“I don’t know, Cassie.” Sienna began slowly, frowning slightly. “Even when you’re next to me, it feels like you’re miles away.”

Cassie tamped down her frustration. “Just leave it, please.” She slammed her locker shut and marched out the door to start her shift.

She had to remind herself that she wasn’t the only one affected last year. Sienna had lost someone who could’ve been the love of her life. Bobby would never see his children graduate college. Cassie had felt Rafael’s life practically slip through her fingers.

While she had physically recovered faster, it had taken Raf months of physical therapy just to walk without a cane. He would never be that paramedic who rushed into a collapsing tunnel to rescue others or ran into a burning building to save a pregnant woman.

If it hadn’t been for the teams from Mass Kenmore and Edenbrook working together, neither of them would be here today. She needed to remember that and be grateful for the second chance she’d been given.

But a small voice, the one that had almost convinced her to give up last year, resurfaced. And she could feel herself falling into an abyss of despair.

The Diagnostics Team didn’t have a case today, so Cassie picked up her assigned patients from Ines, responding to her cheeriness with monosyllabic answers.

She went about her work, feeling detached, unable to find her characteristic optimism. Usually, she loved talking to patients and learning about their lives. Today, she just wanted to get it over with.

It wasn’t until she stopped at the nurses’ station to check on lab results that she completely lost it. The path lab had messed up not one but two blood samples and wanted new ones. Both from patients that had given her grief about needles.

“Great. Really great, this is just perfect.”

She ranted as she pushed the chair back, slamming into patient files on the counter behind her and sending folders flying everywhere. She tossed aside the tablet in her hand, not noticing how it flew across the counter before crashing to the floor with a loud crack.

“Dr. Valentine!” Dr. Banerji’s stern voice stopped her.

Cassie looked up to see Naveen standing a few feet away, hands on his hips, scowling at her. She had never seen Naveen angry before. He looked so severe that Cassie felt herself becoming small under his harsh stare.

It wasn’t just him. The nurses, Maureen and Sarah, gawked at her. One of the orderlies nodded nervously before quickly disappearing down the hallway as if he was next on her hit list.

“My office. Now.” Naveen barked, striding toward the elevator banks, not waiting to see if she had obeyed.

Cassie hurried after him. Only a fool would ignore a direct order from the Chief of Medicine. By the time Cassie took her seat across from his desk, she had calmed down enough to realize what a colossal spectacle she’d just made of herself.

“I know this is a difficult time for you, Dr. Valentine,” Naveen said, staring at her with none of the softness she’d come to know. “However, that is no excuse for the bad behavior I just witnessed. It will not be tolerated. From anyone.”

He held up a hand when Cassie opened her mouth. “Take one hour to bring yourself under control. Finish the rest of your shift without incident, and we’ll say no more of this. But if I hear you’ve acted out again, you’ll be suspended without pay for three days. A disciplinary notation will be made on your file. Is that clear?”

Cassie nodded, too ashamed to say anything. When Naveen dismissed her, she scurried out of his office and took the elevator down to the cafeteria. She eased into an empty booth on the far side and curled up in the corner, hidden from sight.

Tears fell unheeded as the tightness in her chest choked her. Her mind was lost in a haze of memories. Bobby’s heart gave out so instantly that they never had a chance to save him. Danny slid to the floor, his hand clutching his throat as he tried to breathe. Her upturned knees hid her face, and she let grief take her.

Part 2: The Silver Lining

Half an hour later, a comforting hand fell on her shoulder. Cassie looked up to see Rafael standing above her, his eyes soft with understanding. She moved over, and he slid into the booth beside her, wrapping his arms around her. They hugged each other, both knowing what the other needed.

They slowly drifted apart. Cassie took the napkin he handed her to blot her eyes dry. “Thanks.”

“I’ve been remembering that night, too,” Rafael confessed softly. “But I’ve realized something which helped me finally feel at peace.”

“What was it?” Cassie asked when he didn’t continue.

She watched him look away, and then he sighed deeply before turning to face her.

“Life is a precious gift. You and I, we’re the lucky ones. We got a second lease on life, and now we need to make it count,” he paused to place his hand atop hers on the table.

“The past can’t be changed, Cassie, but the future can,” he continued, peering intently. “We need to keep our eyes forward and do everything Bobby and Danny will never get a chance to do. That’s what second chances are for, not for dwelling on what was.”

Cassie thought about Rafael’s words for the rest of her shift and found herself searching for peace. She didn’t find it, but she found her friends and made amends, taking heart when Jackie’s customary snark returned full force. Elijah squeezed her hand to say all was forgiven, while Sienna beamed with pleasure at the single yellow rose Cassie procured.

She apologized to Maureen and Sarah and tracked down the orderly to assure him she wasn’t a serial killer. By the time Cassie had finished her apology tour, it was two hours past her shift, and Ethan had already left. He’d texted to say he’d meet her back at his place.

Cassie took the T, wanting to lose her poor mood in the relative anonymity of public transit. When her phone signaled a text, she smiled at the name that flashed across her screen.

Cassie got off at the station near Ethan’s apartment building, huddled inside her coat as a cold breeze blew off the bay, and kept walking. She wondered why the lights were on low when she entered his apartment. Was he already asleep?

Hanging her coat in the hallway closet, she slipped off her shoes and called Ethan’s name.

“In here,” she heard him say.

She entered the living room to find Ethan standing by the floor-to-ceiling windows. Flickering candles lined the kitchen counter, coffee table, and mantel above the roaring fireplace.

Cassie’s nose twitched in appreciation at the scent of food, and her stomach grumbled. She detected the aroma of saffron and spices, her lips curving upward in recognition.

“You ordered takeout from my favorite restaurant?”

She stared at the selection of tapas on the kitchen island and a platter of seafood paella resting in the middle.

Ethan reached for her hand, entwining their fingers before pulling her into his embrace.

“You were having a bad day,” he said simply, brushing a hand down her hair.

Cassie breathed in his scent, a heady mix of bergamot, sandalwood, and something uniquely Ethan.

His hands locked on her lower back when she leaned back, her hands resting on his forearms. She gazed into his eyes and saw understanding and love. Stretching up on her toes, she lightly brushed her lips across his mouth.

“Thank you,” she murmured. “I really needed this tonight.”

“You’re welcome.” He kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose and, finally, her mouth, deepening the kiss when she parted her lips before letting go. “Now, pull up a seat and let’s dig in before the food gets cold.”

She took a sip of the Shiraz he poured and bit into a thin slice of toast with crushed tomatoes, garlic and olive oil. Cassie munched on her tapas, smiling inside at Ethan making desultory small talk, something he avoided at all costs in the typical scheme of things.

They kept the conversation light for the rest of the evening, polishing off the spicy paella and Crema Catalana that followed for dessert. Cassie was stuffed and pleasantly drowsy when he joined her on the couch after putting the kitchen to rights.

She leaned back against him, loving the solidness of his chest and the comfort of his arms around her. They watched the flames in the fireplace, and she found her eyes drifting close when he whispered in her ear.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, Cassie. But I’m here in case you change your mind. You’re not alone.”

Part 3: The Renewal

A few days later, Cassie laid flowers on Danny’s grave, the cheerful dahlias adding a pop of color to an otherwise dreary day. Fall had New England in its grip, with gray clouds and leaves turning orange before falling to the ground, leaving branches bare in their wake.

Sienna crouched down, adjusting the flowers and tokens left by other mourners. She sat back on her heels, took daisies out of the bouquet and planted them one by one along the headstone, their white petals bright against the dark stone.

“Danny loved daisies and sunflowers,” she said, her voice watery as she sniffed back tears. “He always said they were happy flowers and made him smile.”

Cassie placed one hand on Sienna’s shoulder and squeezed lightly in comfort.

Sienna briefly placed her hand on Cassie’s and then returned to her task. “Did I ever tell you how we met?”

“No,” said Cassie. “I assumed it was at the nurses' station.”

Sienna glanced over her shoulder and grinned. “Nope. He rescued me on the T my first day at work.” She turned back to check her arrangement, making slight adjustments.

“He must have seen the ID badge clipped to my bag, or maybe it was the wide-eyed look of panic on my face,” she giggled. “I had forgotten which stop was Edenbrook’s. He stood up as the train approached the station and then walked over and said if I was going to Edenbrook, this was my stop. We walked over from the station together and were fast friends by the time I swiped in.”

Lost in memories, Sienna bowed her head. Cassie could see teardrops tracking down her cheeks. She joined her on the ground and hugged her friend from behind, letting her grieve for what could never be.

“You know Danny wouldn’t want you to grieve forever, right?” Cassie said, hesitant at first but finding her resolve when Sienna turned to face her.

Her eyes held traces of tears, but it wasn’t grief on her face; it was serenity. “I’m not grieving for Danny, Cassie. He believed his purpose was to help others find solace. I will always miss him, but I know he wants us to live our best lives.”

Cassie remembered Raf’s words and felt shame wash over her. “I’ve been so angry these past few weeks, Si. I kept seeing myself as a victim again. But you and Raf reminded me that I am alive and have people who love me. I can’t let this one incident define my life. I need to move forward. We both do.”

Cassie stood up and held out her hand to help Sienna up.

“It’s time to move on, Si,” she said. “You told me months ago you were ready to start dating, but you haven’t been out with anyone since Wayne. These days, you’re more sad than happy, especially when you think no one is looking.”

Sienna looked past Cassie’s shoulder, unable to share what was in her heart. Lately, she’d come to realize how wrong she’d been, pushing away the one person who’d made her feel true happiness. But she couldn’t tell Cassie any of it.

“The boards are coming up,” she said with a shrug. “I’ve just been stressed about them and everything being thrown at us this year.”

She kept her gaze steady and her expression unfazed as Cassie watched her, a considering look on her face. Sienna knew her friend was too good at reading people. It must have worked because Cassie didn’t push.

“It really is beautiful here, isn’t it?” Cassie said, craning her head to take in the peaceful resting place.

“When spring comes, and the leaves bloom, it’ll be even more so,” nodded Sienna. They started walking back to where they’d left Jackie’s car. “Renewal is as much a part of life as leaves falling. You can’t have one without the other.”

Cassie stopped as they reached the car and turned to face Sienna.

“You don’t have to tell me what’s making you sad, Sienna. But I’m here for you. You’re not alone.”

Sienna smiled and thought how lucky she was to have met not one but two people who cared so much for her. And if Cassie could find a way to move forward, so could she.

One week later...

(Between Max & Ethan)

Part 4: Moving Forward

------------------

All Fics & Edits: @potionsprefect​​ @trappedinfanfiction​​ @bex-la-get​​ @mysticalgalaxysstuff​​ @genevievemd​​ @choicesaddict5​​ @jerzwriter​​ @vi-writes-stuff​​ @coffeeheartaddict2​​ @quixoticdreamer16​​ @zahrachoices​​ @lucy-268​​ @a-crepusculo​​ @jamespotterthefirst​​ @headoverheelsforramsey​​ @takemyopenheart​​ @queencarb​​ @crazy-loca-blog​​ @peonierose​​ @cariantha​​ @annfg8​​ @openheartforeverinmyheart​​ @bluebelle08​​ @rookiemartin​​ @natureblooms24​​ @doriopenheart​​

Ethan & Cassie only: @custaroonie​​ @lady-calypso​​

@openheartfanfics​​

[maximaxstreasurebox]

TWST Diasomnia Chapter Part 1

Summary notes(/reactions) I wrote while reading with the help of Google translate...obviously spoilers-

(2022.12.19) EP 7-1 to EP 7-19

yuu dreamed about the maleficent

freaks out, runs out to look at statue

meets diasomnia gang, calls Malleus 'Tsunotaro'

Sebek angy, Silver and Malleus shush him

Lilia runs in 'in school girl fashion'

slept over bcuz gamer night (Idia?), Silver tried to wake him up 3 times

Lilia is gloomy/anxious(?) during when waking up, bed-hair

Malleus invites yuu to talk about Maleficent

gang leaves to 3rd year orientation for 4th year

3 months per season, 3 courses, must do 2 to attempt graduation exam

company applications through interviews and grades

Trey thinks between food industry and science

Cater thinks between media and theme park management(?)

Ace's brother chose theme park management(?) back then

Should switch between companies for experience

Trey&Cater "idk what to choose, so time to listen to some classmates" tour begins; Vil&Rook

Vil - movie studio or potion, no college

Rook sad he cant see Vil in 4th grade

Rook- archaeological research, chose it after STYX accident showed him hidden beauty in world, college maybe?

Leona where the fck did you climb up from

lol he occupying a row to nap

Vil: take this seriously Leona: already applied :] everyone:??????

he's read the papers while Crowley was talking

Leona - mining and energy research company (geology)

of course he chose it to bitch about it for his bro

Rook: IDIA Idia: i do not exist

no Ortho here bcuz he's 1st year :)))

Idia: its a waste of time here when im already got a job offer everyone:????

he got offers after presentation on culture festival

Vil: is it…. STYX? Idia: nah hell, got kicked out temporally basically so media wont come after my fam *point at letter by dad*

Idia's parents got angy when he built a vacuum robot at age 8 and other shits

Vil: so where did u apply? Idia:……Olympus (no.1. market place, hardest to apply to) (btw web designer or what) everyone: EEEEEEHHHHH??!?!?!? (side note: this genuinely got me sad bcuz he first declined the offer back in chapter 5 epilogue)

Lilia: why are you laying on the desk, Cater?

Malleus cant decide which ones worth it

Lilia………….didn't choose anything……bcuz he will drop out of school

EVEN MALLEUS DIDNT KNOW IT

YUU TALKS ABOUT MICKEY TO REST OF 1ST YEAR GANG

Yuu showed the pic of Mickey, gang go uuuhh?

Grim: his ears are bigger than mine…

Ortho connecting to google, doesnt find anything about Mickey

Yuu talks about Mickey's room and friends

summary by Ortho: 1, Mickey is not from TWST, 2, time moves in Mickey's world too, 3, can only talk to him when he's sleeping

something with the mirror… Ortho uses this word: 銀歯 (silver-tooth????)

Ortho: do you know [Kouseki Radio]? (鉱石ラジオ)

oh we're going technology nerd talk, basically a radio made from ores and things without any electricity involved

sooooooooo the 'silver-tooth' he described is what used as a signal recorder(?)... like the needle on old vinyl

next nerd talk item: [Hitomi no Kagami], a hand mirror

current theory by Ortho: the mirror in Yuu's room is a [Hitomi no Kagami], a mirror used for communication

gang: wait.....then if Mickey is from another world, there might be a way to find Yuu's home world???

research group with 1st year gang! everyone takes turn at taking a chance to meet Mickey at night :D

Sebek and Silver flabbergasted that Lilia leaves school

LILIA....HIS MAGIC IS RUNNING OUT......... he can no longer fly, thats why he ran in the morning...

HE ALSO MOVES OUT AFTER SCHOOL;;;;;;;;;

His home country(?) is [Akatatsu no Kuni] (red dragon)

LILIA WASNT PLANNING TO GO BACK WITH MALLEUS IN THE VERY BEGINNING- *sobbing on floor*

He wants to live in peace and not being b-tched around :(

WE GOT MAL MAL'S GRANDMA NAME: QUEEN MALEFICIA

Silver and Sebek are so heartbroken;;;;;;;;

LILIA IS MOVING OUT WITHIN A WEEK???;;;;;;;;;

Lilia: I'm impatient bcuz I don't have much time! me: *chewing pillow*

Malleus: Are you sure you're not gonna change your mind? Lilia: Nope!..or rather, It has been decided a long time ago, no matter what..

"Fate can't be changed..."

oh man heeeeeee's maaaaad....

Lilia asked Sebek and Silver to help out packing up

Silver cleaning up one of Lilia's drawer be like; 'a test from 2 years ago......broken keyboard........expired coupon......hardened nail polish......candy boxes.....Is he really sure he can live like this? 😭'

..Ring on chain with rotten seeds(?) in candy box....

Silver: ".....Have I seen this ring before?....Aurora-colored jewels..."

Silver: .........so sleepy..... Lilia: Silver?

Silver: I found this box with the withered seeds(?)........can I throw it away- LIlia: NO!

Silver: So.. should I pack it? Lilia: No, I'll just take the bracelet (there's a bracelet in the box too??????),...and the ring can be given back to the rightful owner.. Lilia: To you, Silver. Silver: ??????

Lilia found baby Silver with the jewels on, and planned to give it back when he's grown up 🥺

Silver almost asks about his parents but then he just goes 'thank you'

Sebek found a.....magic tool?... Lilia's weapon when he was still a guard

Sebek notices that the metal part of the tool is made of [Mistium], an old metal thats no longer mined

...and Lilia used to use it also as an ordinary axe..rip Sebek...

MICKEY HUNTING BEGINS! First night: Ace&Duece!

Riddle only let them have away from dorm if they study, so he made study tests for them,even for Yuu&Grim💀

THERE'S EVEN FOR ORTHO, JACK, AND EPEL AHHAAHAHHAH-

Grim: If Yuu goes back to their original world....can I still stay in NRC?

Nooo sad time :"( gang is sad, then got back to midnight study session

Day 1 to meet Mickey - failed

Yuu can't sleep, but then sees light and a shadow outside

It's Tsunotaro......and not in a good mood..

IT'S SNOWING OUTSIDE

And Malleus seems really out of focus........snaps back his attention when Yuu appears, and stops the snowing

Malleus starts talking (read: trauma dumping) about how he got scolded(?) by Lilia for having the castle in ice bcuz of an argument he had with his grandma, and no one else dared to get close to him

OMG LONG HAIR LILIA WE WON WE WOOOOOOOON

Lilia made shredded ice with syrup from the ice and gave it to tiny Mal Mal???

Lilia: "You have a great power...don't waste it" Lilia: "Today who's here at this table could have died"

Malleus: You can say Lilia was always close to me.......but now.....he'll no longer scold me....

Malleus: so after my trauma dumping, what do we have here Yuu? :) Yuu: there might be a way to get home Malleus: ......................................so you're leaving too...

Yuu: I feel lonely about saying goodbye to everyone Malleus: ....if there was a way without losing anyone....would you wish for it?

Yuu says it's normal to be sad about goodbye, and goes back inside with a good night/goodbye..

Lilia: "You have a great power...don't waste it" Lilia: "Today who's here at this table could have died"

Malleus: ...Even with great power, I get nothing, I just lose... Malleus: ...they will leave me, leave the table eventually...

Malleus: ...those who invite me...are no more...

[morri-mclelland]

Pantheon Final Project for my 3D CAD course! Not super perfect, but I am out of time (and energy!) This term has been one hell of a ride. Between finally starting to get my meds and doctor visits on track and feeling burned out by everything else, I am glad that this term is finally nearly over.

Did really well in my Italian course, which I am thankful for. Am really not happy with my Music Theory course, because I technically already took it, even though this was the next level course. Had to drop one of my CAD courses and will have to take it next spring... it was just too much.

And this CAD 3D project... well, this is the sum of four weeks and many nights of tears and crying myself to sleep while reading many favorite fanfictions for comfort before I made bad decisions -- such as chucking my laptop out a 3rd story window onto blacktop.

Thank you to the amazing TRIO office at my college who have been amazing friends, wonderful bosses, and terrific support through my stress sessions, my bitch fits and my absolute apathy for my work at times.

As for writing... I am still working on my stories that I dropped hints at many months ago now... they just took a back seat to things like this (and little things like working towards graduating, which has been pushed off for another year because of dropped class). Hopefully, a little time this summer will be dedicated to that.

:::IMAGE DESCRIPTIONS:::

Image 1: Zoomed out of exterior of Pantheon in 3/4 view on black background

Image 2: Exterior of Pantheon showing the portico (porch) and door on black background

Image 3: Exterior Door of Pantheon with Florescent Lighting (Daylight)

Image 4: (Hard to see) Rounded Alcove with columns and braziers, as well as two altars, floor pattern alternating, supposed to be rose marble walls

Image 5: Full height altar with altar table holding an incense bowl, three braziers with fiery light

Image 6: View of the altar table, view of the braziers with light

Image 7: Upper row of decor within the Pantheon on the rose marble walls (unfortunately lacking in separation between levels)

Image 8: View of the underside of the duomo and out through the oculus to the open (black) sky

Image 9: The last image is an issue image that I found funny of just "woah, bright!" as I fiddled with the light intensities. It is the same view as Image 6, just really intense light.

[cheesy-cakey]

note this is a hatter au from a wattpad book I wrote.

You Weren't there

Kalim X Reader Angst

We had graduated.

We got married.

He inherited his family's riches.

We had a son.

We were happy...

We WERE.

I gazed out the window of my quarters.

I was no longer a Hatter... I was now an Al-Asim.

The Hatter name had died out the moment I decided to be a part of Kalim's family. I still owned our land and property. But I had no use for it.

I thought that this was going be our happily ever after.

Holding the one I love close. Kalim embracing me and our son.

But I guess reality doesn't have a happy ending... Especially us Hatter's.

As I watched the scene out the window.

In the garden was Kalim... With his 2rd wife and daughter.

Yes, that's right. I may be Kalim's first wife... but that doesn't mean I'm the only one.

I watched as he held her hand while with the other he carried his daughter.

I moved away from the window and sat on the plush bed of my quarters.

"How could I be so stupid. How could I be so blind. why did I think... That out of all the people in the world. I would have a happy ending." I muttered to myself as I leaned back on my arms tears pricking out of my eyes.

I went back to the window watching them hold each other close. I traced my hand on the glass feeling the coolness of the material.

I kneeled on the floor hand on the window sill while the other was on the floor.

"If happy ever after did exist~" I sang as I wrapped my arms around myself.

"I would still be holding you like this~"

"All those fairy tales are full of sh*t"

"One more f*cking love song I'll be sick" I sobbed as I was never meant to have a happy ever after.

3rd POV

Little did Y/N know that someone came to visit.

Watching through the crack from the slightly opened door.

Ali Al-Asim watched as his mother broke down crying.

"Why... why of all people... why does it have to be mother that suffers?"

He walked away knowing that it's better to not disturb her like this... He knew seeing him would just remind her of the happy ending she could've had.

He returned to him quarters and sat in one of the chairs in his room.

"Mother... You shouldn't be suffering like this... You told me father loved you... You said he loved you more than the stars in the sky... then why... why does he treat you this way? why does he neglect you? weren't we happy? weren't you happy?" He leaned his head back as tears pricked out his eyes.

"I never get to see you smile anymore. The smile that could shine brighter than the sun. Your eyes became dull... no longer full of hope and happiness like the stars."

he slammed his first into the table Infront of him as tears fell from his face.

"WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A HAPPY EVER AFTER!?"

The 15 year old couldn't bear to see his mother like this...

He's seen her cry too many times...

-Time Skip-

It was Ali's 16th birthday.

Which means a big celebration...

But his mother as much as she wants to attend she couldn't bring herself to leave her room.

The Hatter that used to be full of life, laughing, singing, dancing. The Hatter that enjoyed parties and seeing her friends smile... lost her spark.

-At the celebration-

"Happy Birthday, Young Master, Ali!" The servants cheered.

"Happy birthday, My son!" Kalim exclaimed as he greeted his first born.

"Thank you, Father!" Ali exclaimed with a smile.

"You're 16 now, which school do you wanna attend, Ali!?" His father asked excitedly.

"I want to go to Night Raven College! That's where you went to right, Father?"

"Yes, I did! Me and your uncle Jamil went there together!"

"Then it's settled, NRC it is!"

"I could have the headmaster make you dorm head as well!"

"No, Father. I wish to become dorm head with my own skills." He stated.

"Haaaah? fine, if that is what my son wants. Now everyone! enjoy the party!"

he walked away as he went to meet other guests.

A lot of people were here. His uncles from NRC. His Friends. even his half sister.

But there was only one person Ali wanted to be here.

Ali stood up from his seat and sneaked away.

He went to the quarters of someone he held dear.

he knocked on the door and heard a come in.

"Good evening, mother" he said with a soft smile.

"Ah! Ali, Happy Birthday" She replied with a tired but loving smile.

she was sitting by the window with it being wide open allowing the wind to enter.

He went closer the his mother and kneeled beside her.

"How are you feeling?" Ali asked.

"I'm feeling very well. So how is your birthday?"

"Nevermind the birthday. I just want to stay here with you" he said as he buried his face into her dress resting his head on her lap.

The lady giggled at her son's statement, watching him with caring eyes.

"I have a present for you" She said as she brought out a box.

Ali raised his head.

"Mother... you didn't have to" he said as he received it.

"Oh, but I do. this is something I've been meaning to give you"

Ali opened the box to see a top hat, a golden silk snake wrapping around the hat with a single Jasmine flower.

"It used to be mine. Sometimes in the Hatter family we give it to the person we marry but sometimes we also keep it. But this time it's time to pass it on to the descendant. I redecorated it for you. do you like it?" The elegant lady smiled as she remembered her memories with the hat and proud to be able to hand it down.

Ali looked as the hat.

"I love it... thank you mother" He thanked as he lied down on her lap once again.

"I'm glad you do, my dear son" She placed a hand on his white hair exactly the same as his father's.

Sher stroked his head gently as the moon shone down on them through the window.

-Timeskip-

It was now time for Ali to go to Night Raven College. He said farewell to everyone and as he was about to get on the Ebony Carriage he looked up to a window to see his mother smiling at him. he smiled back and entered.

-at the dorm sorting-

Ali was up next to be sorted.

"State thy name"

"Ali Al-Asim"

"The shape of thy soul... I see you best improve in Scarabia."

He stepped away from the mirror and joined the other students that were sorted into Scarabia.

He will make his mother proud.

-Time skip-

It had been a week since he had arrived. And just like that he had became a dorm head not from money but from skill.

He was currently in potions taught by Professor Crewel.

His phone then suddenly rang.

"Excuse me, Professor. I need to take this call"

"Of course, pup. but next time I won't be allowing it."

Ali answered his phone and it was one of the servants.

He was analysing his potion while he answered.

"What is it? I told you not to call me around this time because I'm in class."

"Apologies, young master. But it's about Lady Y/N"

"Mother? what about her? does she miss me? tell her I'll visit this weekend."

"It's not that sir"

"what is it then?"

"she umm"

"spit it out"

"The lady has passed away"

Ali suddenly dropped the beaker shattering it to a million pieces.

"Al-Asim! bad pup! what are you doing!?"

Ali stood up knocking his seat over. He slammed his hand on his desk that still had the shattered glass and spilled potion. good thing that the potion doesn't give much effect since it wasn't finished.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN PASSED AWAY!?" He yelled as tears pricked from his eyes.

"Al-Asim?" his professor called out worried.

"I mean what I exactly said, young master. The lady passed away earlier this morning. when the servant went to serve her breakfast she didn't wake up. they tried waking her up then realized she wasn't moving. they called a physician... and he said the lady had passed away"

"no... you're lying"

"Ali Al-Asim, what's wrong? Get your hands off the desk your starting to bleed." Crewel said as he took the boys hand from the broken glass and started cleaning it.

"Mother... is she really dead?"

"yes, sir"

"wait... your mother?" his professor asked

"As in... Y/N? she's... no longer with us?" his eyes wide as saucers.

Ali fell on his knees tears spilling not showing any signs of stopping any time soon.

"Mother... no... no... no no no NO! SHE CAN'T BE GONE!" He sobbed.

"Ashengrotto, take him to the infirmary to clean his wound up. The rest of you dismissed. I need to speak with the head master."

"Yes, professor"

-time Skip-

currently Ali was in the head masters office.

"Al-Asim. I heard what had happened. I'll let you go home for as long as you need. I apologize for your loss. You can use the mirror to go home." Crowley said as he watched the boy sob.

he himself wanted to cry since one of the most lovable students he had, had passed away.

"Your mother... was an incredible woman. Not only as a student but as a friend to the rest. It's a shame she... had to leave us so early. I thought that maybe... I'd be dead by the time she leaves."

"Thank you, headmaster... I'll be... heading out now" Ali exited the room and went to the mirror and went home.

Once he had arrived he was greeted by the servants but he just walked right pass.

His sister also greeted him, but he continued walking.

soon he arrived at his mother's bedroom. He saw her... looking like she's sleeping soundly... knowing she's never waking up again.

He walked to her bed side. held her now cold hand and feel to his knees and sobbed uncontrollably

"Mother!... Why.... WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE! I WAS GOING TO GIVE YOU THE HAPPY ENDING YOU DESERVE! BUT WHAT!? YOU ENDED YOUR STORY WITH LONGING THAT WAS NEVER FULFILLED!? WHY!?" he cried... not leaving her side for the rest of the day.

During her funeral, all her friends from NRC came. Tears spilled everywhere as they found their dear friend no longer with them.

they approached Ali who just stood by her coffin.

"Sorry... for your loss... Ali"

He just kept silent.

For the long duration of her funeral... Not once did his father... the man his dear mother loved and longed for, show up.

This had made the boy even more upset. but that did not overpower the sorrow he had.

-Time Skip-

The funeral had long ended...

His mother was buried...

he returned to school but barely spoke.

"Al-Asim... pup. I suggest you go meet with Professor Yuu. You need it"

Ali merely nodded as he went to his magicless professor who taught about monsters and health.

"Ali... take a seat"

Ali sat down across him.

"You haven't been sleeping have you... you have bags under your eyes. You look pale. Ali"

He just sat there.

"I know... I know you're depressed... Your mother was my vice prefect back in our school days. she was a wonderful woman to be with... she laughed... she sang... she smiled... but you know what I love most about her?"

Ali looked up and looked at Yuu.

"She makes people around her smile as well. She wouldn't want you to act like this. Y/N, She too lost a parent in her younger days. But that didn't stop her from being happy... She always had joy in her eyes... and you know you have her E/C eyes as well"

"So please... Don't let this bring you down. Your mother... Be like her. someone who smiles, laughed and most of all makes others do the same. sure reality doesn't have a happy ending. But you're writing your own story so make sure it leads to one."

Ali thought about it. looks back down... looks at the mirror in the room and looked straight into his E/N coloured eyes.

"You're right, Professor. Even if mother is gone... I should make her proud" Ali stood up with smile.

Ali bowed.

"Thank you, Professor Yuu!"

"Just call me, Yuu."

Ali smiled and ran off back to his dorm and to his room.

Yuu on the other hand stood up and went to the window and looked at the sky.

"I wish... I could've held you one last time... Y/N... I loved you so much" Yuu said as he let the tears fall.

Ali pulled a box from under his bed and opened it...

It may not fit his outfit but it doesn't matter.

he stood up holding the object and went to a mirror.

He looked straight at it and placed the hat he was given on his head.

"I'll prove... that I can give us a happy ending, Mother"

and with that Ali changed... He changed for the better. all the old staff watched him... and it reminded them of someone who they once cherished in this school.

-Time Skip-

it's been 2 years since Y/N's passing. Ali Al-Asim was now 18 years old. A third year.

But what's interesting is. when his 1st year ended the mirror had announced something... He was transferred to a different dorm.

-Flashback-

Just as they were all about to leave.

"Wait... It seems someone's soul had reshaped into something new." the mirror had stated.

"What? but that's not possible" Crowley said in surprise.

"Ali Al-Asim... Step forward"

Ali hesitantly stepped up.

"Yes... it seems your soul had reshaped... though you are still suited to be a part of Scarabia... Your heart... Is perfect for the Ramshackle Dorm"

"Isn't that"

"Your mother's old dorm... well it seems like you're becoming just like your mother" Crowley smiled as he placed a hand on the boys shoulder.

-end of flashback-

And since then he became the dorm head of the Ramshackle. His hat suited his outfit. he was happy.

And right now the 18 year old was going to make a decision that'll change his life.

Currently standing Infront of his father, Kalim Al-Asim. wearing a somewhat butler outfit somewhat similar to that of what his mother wore back in her younger days as a Hatter.

"Father... I don't wish to be an Al-Asim anymore."

"What? could you repeat that?"

"I don't want to be an Asim."

"But son! you're my eldest! you're my successor!"

"And I don't want to be your successor!"

"why!?"

"I want to continue mother's legacy!" Ali yelled as he gripped his wrist behind his back while looking down.

"what?"

"I want to be a Hatter! I want to carry on the Hatter name! I want to do this for mother! it the least you could let me do"

"the least I could let you do?"

"Yes! The most you could do was probably be there for her!"

"Ali"

"You left her all alone! making her cry every night! every night for you!"

"She didn't get her happily ever after! Cause you weren't there there for her! you weren't there for us!HECK She would've been contented with just you being there even if you didn't love her anymore!"

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN COME TO HER FUNERAL!" Ali snapped.

"I know you are aware that You're naive, gullible, oblivious and all that. but please... just see it... the least you could do" Ali looked up and looked Kalim straight in the eyes.

Kalim staring back into E/C colored orbs that was exactly the same as his wife that had recently passed away.

He looked down and took a deep breathe

"Alright"

"Huh?"

"I'll... let you go..."

"Really?"

"yes... as you said... it's the least I could do for not even attending the funeral."

"Thank you... father" Ali smiled as he walked away.

this was a new start for Ali... Becoming just like his mother. Writing a happily ever after for them.

We can't say the same for Kalim though.

He sat at his chair.

His 2rd wife entered the room and sat beside him.

"What did he want?" she asked.

"To leave the family"

"what?"

"He... wanted to become a Hatter to continue Y/N's legacy."

"I see... don't worry I'm here... and besides I'm sure we can make a new heir."

"I'm not in the mood"

"But, dear~"

right then and there Kalim snapped.

"I SAID IM NOT IN THE MOOD!" He yelled.

"BECAUSE OF YOUR DAMN FAMILY THREATENING TO HURT MY SON AND MY BELOVED WIFE I WAS FORCED TO NEGLECT HER!"

"IF IT WASN'T FOR YOUR DAMN FAMILY I WOULD PROBABLY BE HOLDING HER RIGHT NOW WITH ANOTHER CHILD!"

"ALL BECAUSE YOU WANTED ME TO LOVE YOU! YOU'RE DELUSIONAL IF YOU THINK I WOULD!"

"What is it... WHAT IS IT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON'T!?"

"My heart... that's what it is... SHE WAS MY EVERYTHING! HER SMILE THAT WAS PRACTICALLY MY SUN! HER EYES THAT SHIMMERED LIKE THE STARS!"

"SHE DESERVES TO BE DEAD! SHE'S NOT FIT TO BE YOUR WIFE! SHE'S NOT FIT TO HAVE YOU! ME, ME, ME! IT WAS ME WHO SHOULD HAVE YOU! SHE'S HIDEOUS! SHE'S DUMB! SHE'S NAIVE! SO WHY WON'T YOU LOOK AT ME!"

"DON'T YOU DARE THAT ABOUT HER! FIRST OF ALL SHE'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN TO HAVE EVER EXISTED THAT EVEN VIL SAID SO! YOU WOULD NEVER BE AS BEAUTIFUL AS HER! SECOND SHE GRADUATED FROM NRC WITH TOP GRADES FITTING INTO THE TOP 50! SHE KNOWS MORE THAN YOU EVER WILL! AND THIRD OF ALL SHE'S NOT AS NAIVE AS YOU THINK! SHE EXPERIENCED THE CRUELTY OF THE WORLD TO THE POINT SHE WAS ALMOST BROKEN! BUT SHE JUST SMILED AND SAID THAT EVERYTHING WOULD BE JUST FINE! I BET YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT IF IT HAD HAPPENED TO YOU! FACE IT I'LL NEVER LOOK AT YOU THE SAME I DO WITH HER!"

"THAT'S WHY I KILLED HER SO YOU WOULD ONLY LOOK AT ME- MPH!" she clasped her mouth shut trembling from what came out.

"what? WHAT did you just say?"

"n-nothing!"

"WE HAD A DEAL! YOU WOULD LEAVE THEM ALONE IN EXCHANGE FOR ALL OF THIS!"

"I-I didn't mean to!"

"DIDN'T MEAN TO MY *SS! AS IF I'D BELIEVE THAT! JAMIL!"

Soon Jamil entered the room. in truth he was about to enter till he heard screaming and heard the entire thing.

"Yes, Kalim"

"Take her away. make her confess EVERYTHING that she had done. After that could you call Azul? I want to have a talk with him to deal with something."

"Yes, of course" Jamil left with the 2nd wife being taken away by guards.

"WAIT! KALIM PLEASE! I LOVE YOU! DON'T DO THIS TO ME!"

As they all left the room Kalim sat down and tears started running down his face.

"Why was I so stupid? thinking I could protect you without having to hurt anyone but as a result I ended up hurting you... then lost you. I should've dealt with them from the start. I should've just been there for you... now I not only lost you... but I lost our son too... haha! why am I so stupid?"

For the rest of the night Kalim just cried. knowing can never bring you back.

-END-

"isn't that an interesting timeline."

"Didn't know that there would be a bad ending to their story. I hope this timeline won't stick it would be so sad~" a voice said as she closed a book that's titled 'You Weren't there'

soon the book started to become grains of sand.

"oh? what is this?"

"The timeline is disintegrating"

"I guess that means that story won't be sticking around."She then pushed up her glasses as she looked back at the millions of books being written each having a pen that glows with inspiration and life."I wonder who's story would be finished next~ would the story disappear? or will it be part of the official collection?"

"Let's see what endings are in-store~ After all"

"I am the story keeper~"

[yanderesimps]

Destined torture

Yandere Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

(Warnings: Unrequited love, forced relationships, forced intimacy, angst, obsession, soulmates AU)

❁-----------------------------------------------❁

It wasn't easy to avoid the blonde when you're the childhood friend of one of his main targets for bullying. Izuku Midoriya, the boy from across the street with a somewhat concerning all might addiction.

You two met in the park one day, stumbling over as you loomed over the greed haired boy as he played in the sandpit. The two of you had sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, always keeping about a meters distance between yourselves as you eyed each other quietly as shy children do.

Until you mumbled about how you liked his all might action figures and his eyes lit up like the night sky, filled with unimaginable excitement. It had all gone up from there of course but now instead you'd both graduated from harmless kiddies to slightly less harmless adolescents.

That of course meant that you had the pleasure to often have deal with the rampaging temper and relentless bullying of a certain Katsuki Bakugou. That wasn't to say that he'd always be such a brat, only ever giving you the brunt of his lashings when he would spy you with Izuku in the school halls.

For years he mercilessly hassled Izuku and it had only ever gotten worse when your classmates had begun to develop their quirks. Izuku, much to his dismay, had to face the bitter truth that he was indeed quickless.

You were almost afraid that your quick would've widened the divide between you two but it somehow in a weird way brought you two even closer if they was humanly possible. By all means, your quick wasn't flashy and explosive like Bakugou's but it had been noteworthy, nothing that get you into UA but respective nevertheless.

When Bakugou would begin his precise schedule of tormenting Izuku, you were steadfast in defending your best friend much to Bakugou's annoyance.

But when you spied Bakugou in the halls today, you'd expected the worst. Your lips twisted into a blatent frown which could make even Endeavour's fire run cold.

Bakugou approached, his hands shoved into his baggy trouser as he stood in front of you, his delinquent friend thankfully no where to be seen. You two stood in raging silence that seemed to ring louder in your ears that your thoughts of contempt for the boy in front of you.

Pulling a hand out of his trousers, you almost expected a bloody nose but soon found yourself staring at a crinkled envelope. You stared at the letter for a few moments before darting your unimpressed glare back to meet the red pupils that stated right back at you.

"Is this a new tecnique? Come to defeat me through the power of paper cuts?" You tittered, resisting the growing earge to swat the paper from his hand.

The blonde clicked his tongue at your sarcasm, thrusting the letter closer to you. "It's an invitation, dumbass, my birthday is next week and the hag made me give you this since she thinks we're friends or whatever"

"Oh my goodness! Why didn't you just say so? I'll make sure to put this in my files, right in the "remember to burn" section" You sang in fake glee, your mocking joyful expression soon falling back into its usual scowl when in the company of the blonde.

Bakugou's eye seemed to twitch slightly at your works and you could practically smell the caremel scent in the air heating up. Surprising, he didn't even say anything and simply turned on his heel to leave. "Well that was...boring" you said with almost a huff. In the past, making bakugou angry was something you actively avoided like the plague but now? It was nothing more than a fun family activity.

So when you didn't feel the flesh of your cheeks burning from 3rd degree burns it was nothing less than a shock. You could almost felt the bright heavens radiating down upon you. Had katsuki bakugou finally developed an actual personality that didn't involve being a dick?

Of course not.

But that still didn't explain why he was inviting you to a fucking birthday party.

It practically struck you like a brick when you realised what this meant.

Bakugou was now one year older

It was the day that everyone seemed to yern for. The day of the mark. A mark that would tell you the name of your soulmate. A mark that would appear on your 16th birthday.

It was bakugou's birthday.

He was turning 16 in one week.

And all that was just more gloating material.

There were quickless people which was bad enough. If you were quickless, you were seen as weaker, lesser and not normal but having no soul mark? It was practically a death sentence. You were seen as unlovable, unlikeable and unwanted. You were abnormal and disgusting. And ever since a certain blonde had developed a knat for explosions and Izuku hadn't, never having a soulmark was the first bullet in Katsuki's rifle when it came to his conquest of making Izuku's life a living nightmare.

And now for the next few months until your birthday it was all you two were going to hear about.

Heaven's gates swung closed right then and there and the pits of hell threatened to swallow you right there.

"Y/n"

You suddenly snapped out of your inner dialogue to see Deku approaching you with a slightly worried expression. Perhaps you'd been spending too much time standing silently while imagine your future months of torment from bakugou.

You pulled an eneasy grin and rubbed the back of your neck nervously. "No it's fine! Just fine!"

The boys face lit up with his classic smile that made your own heart warm. "great! Wanna get lunch then?" Clasping his arm you nodded with a stark grin. "Let go. I'm starving"

....

...

..

"What's you favorite type of coffin, Izuku?"

_______

There was no amount of pleading that would have gotten you out of this situation, no matter how hard you pleaded to your mother. She didn't even care that your funeral would be expensive.

So now here you were.

In a dress.

Your hair dolled up.

Make-up.

Planning out your 13th reason why.

Standing outside bakugou's home with a present clasped in your hands, the decently loud chatter within taughting you like the drums of War but then again you were practically about to dive into the trenches.

Your numb finger pressed the doorbell, your heart seemed to stutter at the sound of a nearing voice.

"Katsuki! Open your presents later!!" screeched a voice of whom you could only assume was miss Bakugou. The door opened the woman in front of you visable brightened as she glowed down upon you.

"Y/n, what a pleasant surprise, get in here! Katsuki's in the back garden" The woman's mood had practically done a full 180° at a mere glance of your slightly shaky form. "I'll take that, now go in and have fun with the others" She hummed with a wild smile as she took the neatly wrapped present from your sweaty palms. You merely nodded in response, finding that your throat had closed in on itself making it impossible to even swallow down your initial fear.

You could hear the distant cheering, chatting and occasional parent's voice as you walked further into the house, closer to the clear glass slide door that revealed the decoration littered back garden.

There only kids you could see were the possy that would always surround the blonde haired boy, the occasional guy you'd know from class and almost ever girl that would drop to their knees in the hope of katsuki bakugou noticing them.

Most never glanced at you, some glared at you in disgust but one particular pair of red eyes were fixated on you the moment you stepped in the garden.

You nearly cried tears of joy that the make up had taken so long since it seemed you'd actually missed the majority of the festivities. "In and out. This'll all be over soon" You hummed, trying to pathetically console yourself.

You'd made a beeline for the corner with the least amount of people, seating yourself on a lawn chair before quickly pulling out your phone, ideally hoping that you'd allowed to spend the next hour just lazily scrolling through your phone before grabbing a slice of cake and leaving.

Sadly, that wasn't what fate had instore. You looked up from your phone screen as a shadow suddenly loomed over you. "What? Not even gonna give me a happy birthday" Bakugou sneered, glaring down at you. Your own expression twisted into the perfect rendition of what the word "hatred" meant. Your eyes narrowed, your nose crumpled and lips fell into a neat frown. "I'm sure you'll find a way to survive without my half heart congratulations"

The boy above you nearly smiled at your words as he clicked his tounge and sat on the chair next to you. "Not even curious to find out who my soulmate is?" You raised and eyebrow but your expression remained the same. You took a mere glance at his wrist, only to see it covered before returning your gaze. That seemed to satisfy the boy in front of you as his grin widened visably.

"Don't flatter yourself, I'm just praying for the poor soul that is destined to be with you for the rest of their days"

Bakugou just laughed and then left, leaving you in a puddle of confusion. He should've already gotten his soul mark, so why wasn't he parading it around like he did with everything?

You didn't give it another though, returning to your phone for the next while and brushing off the unsettling feeling the crawled up your spine.

__________

It wasn't surprising that they waited for the big reveal after bakugou had blown out his candles. You were just mildly aggrivated that such torture was continously being forced upon you rather than just letting you go home.

Everyone had crowded around the table where the cake sat. You, for some reason, found yourself stood at the corner of the table nearest to bakugou who stood in the center alone as the other surrounded the other sides.

Ms Bakugou had placed a hand on your shoulder and who you looked up to ask her why she was so clingy, she merely silenced you with a toothy smile.

She seemed to be excited about something.

Everyone had begun a countdown as katsuki raised his hand to everyone, lightly gripping his sleeve that hid the name of his future beloved.

You simply joined in hopes that the scene would go by faster, you didn't even look when he pulled down the arm of his jacket. You only notice the silence that followed after.

Then you noticed the eyes burrowed upon you.

The tightening grip on your shoulder.

Bakugou's glare.

How he was lightly smiling.

Then you noticed your first name neatly written into the flesh of his wrist.

The world seemed to slow then it had all soon went by like a blur just like you. Reality seemed to slip away at the seems and all you could do was slightly nod at the voices of congratulations and bright smiles of bakugou's parents. Disoriented, eyes pickled with tears as your dry throat struggled to find words.

Why was Katsuki still smiling?

__________

You'd been branded that day.

"Katsuki's girl"

Always finding a firery arm latched around your waist or shoulders as you were paraded down that halls like a spectacle for the ages.

You weren't allowed to speak to Izuku anymore or any guy for that matter. It wasn't like any of them risked their necks to talk to you anyway ever since Katsuki claimed you, broadcasting his mark like a trophy, a fitting collar that was locked around your neck.

You found yourself seated with the popular girl at every lunch when Katsuki didn't cling to you, people who you once years to be next to and chat with. Now it just felt empty. Empty conversation. Empty smiles. Empty happiness.

You would sometimes catch Izuku's eye in the hallways as a river of words went unsaid between you two. Then katsuki would tell him to "fuck off" before dragging you to class.

Life wasn't fun anymore. It wasn't even livable.

You barely realised how the month passed and your birthday was right around the corner. In fact, it was tomorrow.

"We'll have matching pairs then-? Hey, idiot, you listening to me?"

"Yes, Katsuki"

"good. I would hate to think you were ignoring me again" His palm gripped your chin like a face, tilting your head before he smashed his wet lips to yours. It was clumsy. It made you feel disgusting.

A hand sorely gripped your thigh, snaking up the helm of your school skirt. You didn't even bother to swat him away there days when he got handsy. It just encouraged him more to discipline you.

"I'll make sure to get you a great present, you'll love it" You knew what he meant by that, it made your heart drop and stomach threaten to heave.

Bakugou soon got up to leave with a group of his friends, leaving you to wallow in you own desperation. You glanced at your wrist. Katsuki had been baring down upon it every day to see if there was even an inclination that his name was appearing.

In reality it didn't really matter, it was just gloating privileges for him now, a way of bragging that you two were destined and you would be hs fine piece of ass for life.

You stroked the reddened skin, it had been sore lately.

"please..."

"Please...anyones name...just as long as its not his"

__________

"Come on, Y/n!"

"Show us!"

"Its obvious what it is gonna say"

You didn't even bother to check what your wrist said when you woke up this morning. Katsuki made you promise that you wouldn't and that you would wait for school.

So here you were, seated in the cafeteria with the majority of the class surrounding you a Katsuki. You could practically feel the pride radiating from him right now.

"go ahead, babe, show em"

And so you did, jutting out your arm and revealing the name to all around.

It was silent again. You expected squeals of jealously, congrats and awe.

Silence. It was louder than any sound imaginable at that moment .

You looked up from where your listless glare had fallen onto your lap to the wide eyes all baring down upon you.

"Oh...hard...luck, Bakugou"

Your eyes fell to your wrist.

"Izuku"

Perhaps fate wasn't so cruel after all.

[shirophantomvox]

Leorio, Hisoka, Illumi, and Chrollo Head Canons #2

What’s up y’all! Thank you so much to the people who have given me feedback about what posts you all would like to see! This post will be about the “Adult Trio” and Leorio about how they would help their significant other with a subject in college. This one is a good suggestion! I’m going to incorporate fluff in this, as I am a sucker for fluff. I hope you all enjoy this! I most certainly do. This post is about 2687 words but don't worry, it's worth the read! These head canons came from my mind its a coincidence that some of these pictures match the thoughts. Portentous (old English) means wonderful or marvelous (in modern English) FYI: I am thinking about creating a discord server for both Voltron and Hunter x Hunter fans. I don’t know how to use the fancy perks of discord yet, so if you know how to and can help me out, send me a message! Alright, let’s get to it! Obviously these images are from Pinterest.

Discord Server for Voltron and HxH fans!

Leorio

“Mr. Leorio”, as we all know, is a sharp guy. He dresses in a suit, carries a suitcase, and wants to be a doctor. This man knows everything about academics, especially math and science. He will need to know these subjects to be a successful medical doctor.

Leorio received an A- in Calculus II and a B+ in Organic Chemistry. He was the only one that passed with flying colors while everyone else barely made it. He didn’t gloat in their faces but as soon as he got into the hallway he jumped for joy.

He was extremely happy about his progress and counted the days until graduation even though that was in 5 years. Wow! Don’t we love graduate school?!

He deserved the high grades because he spent countless nights studying missing parties, football games, and being with you just to make sure he was on the right track to graduating on time.

As we all know, Leorio wanted to pursue this career because he witnessed his best friend dying in front of him powerless to save him. The care for his friend would have been too expensive. Obtaining his degree was in honor of his friend; he’d save countless children, women, and men who’d all thank him for his hard work.

Leorio didn’t socialize much, but he did find himself hanging around a group of classmates that were a part of a co-ed fraternity that provided information on scholarship money for graduate school and job opportunities. This is where he met you. You didn’t want to be a doctor but instead wanted to be a computer scientist and decided to volunteer for this fraternity job fair.

As he rejoiced, his smile faded when he saw you walking down the hallway; tears falling from your face not caring who stared at you. He quickly walked up to you, put his arm around your back, and gave you a soft hug.

“What’s the matter,” he asks.

You were failing Calculus, a class you’ve been taking since the 12th grade but for some reason, you couldn’t pass it. Everyone else had A’s and B’s, while you had a D. D’s aren't accaetable in college; most make you retake the class.

“Don’t worry. I’ve just passed my midterm. I can help you study. You’ll pass; trust me.”

Later on that evening, he kept his promise but gave it a unique twist. He kept the lights off and lit 4 Yankee-sized candles in the room that smelled like Lavender. In the background, he had piano jazz playing on his speaker. You felt confused for a moment. You and Leorio weren’t necessarily dating but you both flirted with each other here and there. He wasn’t a social butterfly, but he felt comfortable talking to you.

“Um...what’s the music for?”

“It helps me concentrate. Believe it or not, it helps my brain flow. You like it don’t you?”

“No, actually I don’t.” Truth be told you loved it but you wanted to pull his strings a little. He looked up with a confused look.

“Ok. I’ll turn it off.”

“I'm kidding! It’s great!”

Whenever he cannot solve a Calculus question, he reviews similar problems from Algebra II. He applies this knowledge to your problem.

“Perform the indicated function evaluations for f(x)=3−5x−2x^2 . I’ll solve the first part for an example: f(6+t) simply means you will exchange “x” for 6+t. It will look like f(6+t)=3-5(6+t)-2(6+t)^2=-49 . You’d distribute -5 and -2 to the numbers inside of the brackets in which they are next to.”

Wow, that was easy! Wait, not he must think you’re stupid.

“You must think I’m stupid, don’t you?”

“Of course not! It took me a while to understand it too. You’ll apply the same knowledge for the rest.”

After what seemed like 4 hours (which was 2), you finally finished your homework! It was probably wrong but at least you made it past the 1st question! As you blew out the candles and turned on your LED lights instead, you see Leorio sleeping on your couch. Something about his soft face made you smile and place your hand over your heart.

“My little doctor,” you whispered to yourself.

“Well, come give this doctor some company then. I’m freezing over here!”

The throw blanket was large enough for you both. Snuggling on the couch was a great end to a stressful day.

Chrollo

To everyone else Chrollo was “Boss” or “Boss Man” but to you, he was Chrollo. Big C was known for his love for poetry and language.

He read poetry any chance he had at lunch and even dinner. It had gotten so bad that you had to tell him for the millionth time “No books at the table!”

Given his past, he always read at least 2 hours a day or one book a week. Reading is what got him through the day.

He was staying in your dorm for the day to relax because he had taken and passed his midterms to. The young thief thought about hiding in the closet but he didn’t because he sensed that you’d be tense because of midterms.

As you walked through the door, you looked angry, so angry that you could punch a wall. He immediately rose to his feet, threw his arms straight out in front of him, and motioned for you to stop. You just stared at him blankly.

“Come here,” he said like you, on cue, melted in his arms. He was warm and the deepness of his cooing voice vibrated against your neck. “What’s the problem?”

“I’m failing this stupid Shakespeare class!”

“Really?”

“Yes and if I don’t pass this midterm I’m going to fail the class for the 3rd time. I want to drop out! Who needs this scam anyway?!”

Chrollo held you a bit longer until you were ready to sit down and get to business. You pulled out your college’s book about Shakespeare plays and how he used Old English. Chrollo was the perfect man for the job! He’s read Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet several times!

Chrollo read a few stanzas and explained them. He then had you read some on your own and explain them...still you can’t.

He notices the problem immediately. He catches you snuggling comfortably against his toned arm, nearly falling asleep.

Chrollo laid at the very corner of the couch as you lay horizontally placing your head against his chest. You were comfortable but you weren’t able to focus. He notices this and slightly demands that you go sit at the table. When it came to academics, he was serious.

For as long as he had been reading, he has an arsenal of vocabulary words ready to be of use. He created flashcards for you and had you flip them over for nearly an hour. You start to memorize the words!

But you’re not done yet.

“Say the word ‘portentous’.”

“Por-ten-trious…?”

“No. Por-ten-tas.”

“Tias…?”

He moved his chair next to you, just an inch away from your face. He cups your mouth and moves it as he speaks again. This wasn’t a hard clutch, it was soft and he wasn’t irritated but he could sense that you were becoming irritated.

“Por-ten-tas,” he said again.

Instead of letting your cheeks go, his eyes diverted to your lips. They were moist and plump, ready to be met by his.

“Your lips are gorgeous. Kisseth me quite quaint.”

Oh no. Look at the monster you’ve created.

Chrollo created a reward system. Whenever he did things right as a child, he was rewarded with money and jewels. For every word you pronounced and defined correctly, he kissed you once. For each word you got correct in a row, he’d kiss you twice.

Soon enough he had kissed you so much that you couldn’t see straight!

The kisses worked because you passed your midterm! Each kiss placed a stain in your brain that made you remember the definition and how to pronounce it.

You and Chrollo celebrated by drinking champagne and listened to him read Sonnet 23 and 57.

Hisoka

As unusual as it seems, Hisoka is gifted when it comes to Chemistry specifically. That is why you two work well together...there is some chemistry going on between you two.

His hair down and his glasses were his alter ego, it was something that made him act completely different than what you were used to.

When you all were freshmen, he would skip class, attend parties, and would be hungover almost every week but once he was called into the Dean’s office, he changed.

You slightly missed that edgy side of him, but you enjoyed having a serious beau.

Hisoka is a social butterfly and is the life of the conversation and you loved him for it but sometimes it was awkward.

While he was chatting away about Calcium (Ca) and Iron (Fe), you stood there nodding like an idiot. You had NO IDEA about what he was talking about and that is why you were going to drop your chemistry class.

“I saw an imbecile put aluminum foil in the microwave and it burst into flames. How did they not know that Microwaves are the radio waves falling under frequency around 2500 megahertz? Any metallic object detected by radio waves inside the microwave acts as a reflector of radio waves.”

You shove his arm hard. He was acting arrogant in front of his friends. You were used to this but it got on your nerves. You made mistakes, everyone does!...even those that almost burn down the entire dorm room.

You two leave the party and head to his dorm room. Once you were settled, you released a can of anger and threw it all over your boyfriend.

“Hisoka? You just humiliated me.”

“Oh? No one knows that I was talking about you, my dear.”

“Don’t ‘my dear’ me! I asked for your help and you’re ignoring me. I don’t appreciate that. I didn’t ignore you when you sprained your ankle, did I?”

“No, you didn’t, dear. I supposed I have a few hours to kill. What do you need help with?”

Hisoka’s way of studying was much different from other students. He exercises like crazy before he opens his textbook.

He listens to EDM instrumentals while on the treadmill and when he lifts weights. You weren’t standing there like a trophy, he made you lift too.

“Being healthy will help your brain flow more easily. Lift this dumbbell as heavy as you can.”

He ran a mile on the track upstairs. Sweat dripped from his face like he had been standing outside in the rain.

By the time you returned to his dorm, you were beyond tired. You laid your head on his pillow but just as you closed your eyes, he pulled you up on your feet.”

“Not on my watch,” he tutted. “It’s chemistry time.”

You were having trouble memorizing Chemical Formulas and this by far was the most difficult concept you had come across.

To make you stay awake, he turned on a bright LED light and faced it towards the table. The bright light nearly made your head fall off from the pain it reflected in your eyes.

Hisoka grabbed his book and began to write down the major chemicals on the periodic table and their charges.

“Pay attention to the following abbreviations and charges: Calcium is Ca, Chloride is Cl+2, Carbide is C+2, and Carbon Dioxide is CO+2. Read these over and I’ll test you again.”

He did just that but you still weren’t understanding. You were ready to give up.

Stupid scam. Why do I need a piece of paper to determine what I can do? You thought to yourself. Well, it’s obvious. If you can’t do the work now, what makes you think you can do it at a job? Harsh, I know.

“Let me try this,” He said. He carried you to his bedroom and gently placed you on it. He took off his shirt and removed his glasses. “Aluminum has a charge of +3 and Oxygen has -2. If there were three of me and two of my clones disappeared, how many of me are left?”

“Just you, right? One”

“Correct! Excellent.”

Wow, everything started making sense once he took his shirt off.

From then, he just inserted himself into the equation and then it started to make sense! He apologized for running his mouth earlier and promised to keep any more secrets between you two. The night ended with you sleeping in his bed wrapped in a cotton blanket just cuddling and that was it. And bam! You slept as sound.

Illumi

Dating the “hot” quiet history buff was a flex of its own. Sure Illumi didn’t talk to anyone besides you, but it didn’t matter. People swooned if he looked in their direction.

History was a popular major during your era. People were not like their grandparents; they wanted to learn about other cultures besides their own. Illumi’s specialty was in world history and civilizations. The class was very interesting to you but there was so much information, you could barely process it.

Illumi often wrote his essays in one day proofread and all! He often charged people to look their essays over.

One time he made $500 in one year!

Glancing at your transcripts, he notices that you have a C- and offers to help.

“Why are you looking through my stuff?”

Hey, he’s your boyfriend! But still, he should ask.

“Sorry. It was up on the screen,” he said, throwing his hands in the air.

You began to blush in embarrassment. The hottest smartest man in the building now knew that you were failing one of the easiest classes on campus.

Placing his thumb under your chin, he lifted your head to meet his gaze. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I can help you.”

“How? I am so behind! I zoned out after chapter 2!”

“We’ll watch a movie.”

“Oh, God! Not one from PBS is it?!”

“Yes. How else are you supposed to learn?”

He turns on the movie and allows you to lay your head on his shoulder but not too much. He is aware of your tricks and he wants you to pay attention.

Every 15 minutes, he pauses the movie and asks you checkpoint questions. If you got them wrong, you had to stand up with your underclothes on (t-shirt and shorts) in the cool room for 10 minutes. If you got the questions right, he allows you to lay more comfortably. You were already in your underclothes but you were under the blanket.

He made you write down key definitions and the embarrassment of each section.

After the movie, he blindfolds you and reads out a term. Surprisingly, you got them all correct!

As a reward for your past midterm, he takes you to dinner at a restaurant where he slips a promise ring on your finger containing your birthstone.

[angryschnauzer]

Imagine you're Henry's neighbour, you've heard his conquests, have to admit you're a little jealous as they all sound happy. But it make you wonder if they are faking it.

You chat to friend on the phone whilst in the garden, not realising he can hear you.

The knock on your door later that evening was unexpected but when you see your hot neighbour there you have no idea why.

Until he offers to show you just why those other women were so happy

Okay so i decided to continue my PE Teacher Henry series with this one, previous parts below:

Thigh Riding,  Jingle My Bells , An Epic Quickie

Warnings: Fluff, a little bit of Angst, talk of breakups, young idiots in love.

The Boy Next Door

The sun was shining and the sounds of late summer could be heard as the four of you settled on dining chairs that had been pulled out onto the ramshackle patio so you could celebrate moving into the shared house for your last year of Uni and doing Post-Graduate for teaching. Opening a chilled bottle of Echo Falls Rose Zinfandel, Marie sloshed it into the four waiting glasses, handing on to each of you;

“Here’s to just one more year of Uni, then we can be set free onto the world of teaching education rather than being taught!”

The four of you had all done your degree’s together, and by the end of your 3rd year you had moved into a shared house to save on halls of residence costs. When you’d all decided to attend the same Uni for your Post Graduates qualification it was the easy choice to decide to rent together, and you’d manage to snag a gorgeous multi level Victorian town house to rent for the year. The landlord had admitted a few things needed to be updated, but it was a short walk from campus so in exchange for a reduction in rent you’d found the perfect place. 

By the time the 3rd bottle of Zinfandel was opened you were all pleasantly merry, and from the advantage point of the raised patio where the garden dipped away as it went downhill you could see the road that ran alongside the house next door that yours was connected to. The corner house had looked a lot more appealing, but the rent had been considerably higher, so the compromise was that you’d rented the one away from the street corner. Just at that moment another Removals Truck pulled up alongside the corner house, and you could hear various cars park behind it, the sound of young male voices easily heard. It was obvious you had a group of male students living next door.

-

Three weeks into term and you were sat at the desk in your room, glaring at the wall in front of you. No matter how hard you tried to concentrate on how to teach fronted adverbials, the screams of the woman obviously on the verge on an orgasm from the guys house next door just reminded you of your lack of love life. With a sigh you set your pencil down and headed downstairs, away from the obvious now orgasming woman.

“Oh hey Hunny, thought you were catching up on some English Lit stuff?” Marie smiled as she poked at an egg she was attempting to fry on the small electric cooker.

“I was… until there was another screamer next door”

“Oh… another one?” she winced, knowing that from the 2nd day the guys next door had moved in, the one that was in the room next to you had been able to bed a different girl about every three nights or so.

You grabbed a glass of water and stepped outside, letting the sunshine warm your face. Opening your Motorolla Flip Phone you scrolled through your texts, smiling as you saw messages from last years classmates, checking in on how everyone was doing. You were vaguely aware of Marie coming outside, setting a plate down on the patio wall and the click of her lighter as she lit a Royals cigarette.

“You still miss him, don’t you?” she asked.

Pulling your gaze up to her, your eyes immediately growing wet. Nodding you swallowed the lump in your throat. Wrapping your arms around your body you looked out over the garden;

“I know… it’s stupid. Its been two years, and it was a mutual decision to part ways, but Henry was my first, you know? He was my first everything. We got together when we were sixteen, we made it through our A-Levels together, we even managed a year doing long distance when we didn’t get into the same Uni…”

“What about that dude… Chris? Didn’t you two have a thing a while back”

You let out a laugh;

“He loves his politics too much to commit to a relationship. If i had to listen to one more rant about Tony Blair whilst we tried to go out for dinner i would have screamed…”

You looked at Marie who was now halfway through her fried egg sandwich whilst her cigarette sat smouldering in the petunias that had mostly gone over for the season, and she gave you the ‘sad puppy eyes’ as she chewed. You let out a grunt of frustration;

“FUCK! I just want to not feel like this anymore! I’ve spent two years moping over Henry-fucking-Cavill, i just want to be able to get on with my post graduate and move on with my life without being constantly reminded of his skills every time i try to do any work in my room!”

-

Henry smiled and waved as Monica, no Michelle, no… wait… whoever made their way down the front steps of the house, closing the door with a sigh of relief. 

“Another one dude?”

Looking at where Anthony was coming down the stairs he nodded;

“Yup. Sorry about the noise” 

He followed his housemate through to the kitchen, switching the kettle on. He was now used to Henry’s conquests screaming the house down, but it was still fun to taunt Henry about the noise they would make;

“So, this was was faking it again?”

Henry looked at him in mock-shock;

“I can assure you none of them fake it”

Chucking teabags into two mugs Anthony chuckled;

“I know man. But i also know you’re still trying to fill the void she left. Its been two years man”

“Yeah, but she’s long gone, i’m her past, i’d only drag her down. She’s probably got some hot politics graduate about to propose to her. She wouldn’t want some dumb physical education ass like me anymore”

Handing him the strong cup of tea Anthony nodded;

“Whatever man, but i still think you should message her, you haven’t spoken in two years and you’re still hung up on her, one last try, huh?”

Heading out to the garden Henry sat on the patio wall and lit a cigarette. He’d sworn he’d never smoke again, what with being a physical education student, but there were still times when he buckled to his nerves and stresses. Lighting up he inhaled deeply, enjoying the quiet of the garden before he heard his neighbours come out onto the patio next door. Through the trellis covered in a thick layer of ivy he could hear everything, as although it did a great job at giving visual privacy, the clear voices of the young women next door carried easily through the greenery.

Ten minutes later Henry almost knocked Anthony over as he bolted up the stairs;

“Sorry man, got something to do… gotta get my Blackberry”

-

The next morning you were on your way to class when your phone chimed, looking at the screen you felt your blood run hot then cold at the name on the display;

“What does he want?” you muttered to yourself, before with a sigh you pushed the phone back into your bag, deciding to look at it later once you had finished your class. The last thing you needed to get your mind off of Henry was a text from him.

-

Making your way out to the patio, you threw your bag onto the sofa and smiled as you saw the rest of the girls already out enjoying the last of the days sunshine;

“Heeeyyyyy there she is” Janelle called, sipping from a bottle of Becks

“Is there any more of those? I need a drink”

Handing you a bottle Marie smiled as you smashed the cap off using the top brick of the wall, sipping the tart bubbles of Lager you let out a sigh;

“Henry texted me today”

The three girls went quiet before Jo spoke;

“What did he say?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t read it. I’m trying to get over him, the last thing i need is getting my hopes up. He’s hundreds of miles away, no doubt doing something super sporty that only makes him look even better, probably coaching kids rugby or something. He’s not gonna want some boring English teacher wannabe like me”

At the mere mention of the word ‘Wannabe’ the others broke into a poor rendition of the Spice Girls song, unaware of the silent frustration happening the other side of the ivy trellis.

-

After one beer you’d excused yourself, deciding to take advantage of the quiet to get some coursework done, thankful that your room neighbour on the other side of the wall wasn’t entertaining any female guests again, but you had no idea how long that would last so the sooner you got some work done the better. With your bedroom window open you got back to work, getting in a full hour before your phone chimed again with another text. Glancing at the little screen on the front you scowled, another text from Henry.

Setting the phone down you went back to your work, frowning as you struggled to concentrate, until five minutes later your phone chimed again, your eyes going wide when you saw it was yet another text from Henry;

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!” you yelled at your phone.

“A REPLY!”

You sat at your desk, surely your ears were now playing tricks on you, you could have sworn you’d heard Henry’s voice. With a sigh you set your pencil down and opened your phone, reading the messages;

Received 8.46am: Hi. I know its been a long time but i’d love to call you at some point. Would be good to hear your voice. Hen. x

Received 4.55pm: Miss you. Can I call you? Hen. x

The phone beeped whilst you held it, another text coming in;

Received 4.59pm:

Look outside.

Glancing at your window you moved to it and looked out, before a voice so familiar it sent chills down your spine shouted out;

“Down here!”

-

Janelle shouted out as you flew down the stairs, Jo and Marie both staring at the blur you made as you ran past the lounge and out the front door, letting it swing on its hinges;

“Where is she going so fast?”

The three girls stood at the window and smiled as they wanted to run into Henry’s arms;

“Into her future Husband’s embrace” Marie sighed, the three watching as the young lovers fell back into each other's arms.

“Wait, is he the ‘loud’ one?” Jo asked to no-one in particular

“Unfortunately… i spoke to one of the other guys - Anthony - last week, he apologised for his housemates noises”

“Oh well… guess she can get us some ear plugs then”

[elsawr1tes]

enhypen - jungwon birthday special (09.02.2022)

pairing(s): cousins!jungwon + y/n (non-romantic pairing), genre: fluff, warning(s): none, a/n: happy birthday our best yang leader!!! this is a little oneshot that i came up with a while back, enjoy!

——————————— ♡ ———————————

The first time you fell asleep together was his 3rd birthday. It was after the party, you’d played together all day and you were both extremely tired after a long day, but you couldn’t sleep. As much as you turned in bed and hugged your teddy bear, you weren’t able to drift off into your dreams. You sighed sleepily, and rolled out of your bed, opening the door quietly as you snuck over to Jungwon’s room.

“Wonie, I can’t sleep” you whispered, tapping him lightly on his arm. Jungwon turned around in his bed, you standing there holding your bear.

“Y/nnie, we’re meant to be sleeping, go sleep” he mumbled.

“But I can’t,” you whined, “can I sleep with you?”

Jungwon sighed, “Fine” and he moved along in his bed, letting you climb in. You snuggled into the warm bed, the warmth comforting you as you felt your eyes droop.

“Good night, Wonie”

“Good night, Y/nnie”

When you woke up in the morning, you heard a few voices saying your name, cooing about something. You blinked in the harsh morning light, something warm wrapped around you. Turning your head, you realised the warm thing was Jungwon, his arms wrapped around you and your head snuggled in his neck, he looked so peaceful like that. You simply closed your eyes again, the position was comfortable and you were still sleepy.

When you finally woke up, Jungwon was pulling on your arm slightly, “Wake up, Y/nnie, time for breakfast.” Jungwon was always like that, always on time and proper about everything, even though he was only 3. You were nothing like that, playful and always bored with nursery, while he was studious. The two of you lived together, his father and your mother were siblings. When you weren’t at the nursery, you listened to your grandmother’s stories and helped your grandfather when he worked in the fields. It was fun, your bond was strong, since you were both only children.

One day, when you were five, Jungwon’s parents moved to the capital city, Seoul. Everything was different after that. Your parents also moved, to a place called Busan, near the sea. You couldn’t live together anymore, the capital was too far away to even visit with your parents starting new jobs. Most of your time outside school was spent with your babysitter, your grandparents still living in your hometown. You missed them, and you missed Jungwon. Your new school was scary, all the kids already knew each other and you were the new kid. You barely had friends, and the teachers were strict. Some of them were nice, but you hated school. It got better as you went into high school, making new friends. You slowly forgot about your grandparents and Jungwon, and your parents barely talked to you, so busy with work. You didn’t need a babysitter anymore, quite independent now.

You were in your last year of high school now, a senior. You were going to graduate next year, and you had plenty of friends now. Life was ok, but you felt like something was missing. You wanted affection. Sure, your parents hugged you, and your friends were basically attached to you, but you didn’t want that kind of affection. You felt like you knew what kind of affection you wanted, but you couldn’t place it. It felt nostalgic, like something from when you lived with your grandparents.

Your mother came home one night, announcing that the family was going on a trip to your hometown. You were excited but nervous, it had been so long since you’d seen your grandparents and you’d missed them. A week later, you were back, and you were staying for two weeks. You greeted your grandparents, and they fawned over you, “Y/n, you’ve grown so well! My beautiful grandchild is all grown up!” You were given your old room, the purple on the walls had faded to a very light violet, and it was still full of your old toys. You picked up your old teddy bear, which you hadn’t taken to Busan, and sat on the bed, old but still big enough for you to sleep in. You sighed, lying on the bed.

You had missed it, all of it. The smell of the flowers in the morning, the sunlight flooding through the windows, your grandfather groaning about how the rain was ruining his crops, your grandmother sitting with you and teaching you about the flowers. You missed it all, and now it was back. Even if it was only for two weeks, it was back. But it still didn’t feel right.

You heard the sound of a car parking in front of the house. You left your room, running to the entrance to see who it was. Your grandmother chuckled, “You haven’t changed, have you, Y/n?” You watched the car stop, two familiar figures sitting in the front. The passenger side opened first, as your aunt stepped out, “Auntie!” “Y/n! Oh, you’ve grown so much, darling!” You ran to the car, hugging her. “You really have grown, Y/n.” You laughed, hugging your uncle as well. There was only one person left in the car.

“Maeumi, stop licking me!” The voice was familiar, but it seemed older, more mature. You frowned, as the boy stepped out.

“Jungwon?”

“Y/n?”

Jungwon had grown a lot. He was taller than you by a little bit, still with the baby face and the awkward grin, but he had certainly grown. You suddenly felt weird, it had been so long. Was he different now? He had a dog now, and said dog had just jumped up into your arms, trying to lick you. You giggled at the tiny ball of fluff in your arms, stroking its head.

“Maeumi, stop” The dog, Maeumi, stopped trying to lick you, choosing to rest in your arms. You didn’t mind, Maeumi’s fur was soft. Jungwon stood there awkwardly, watching you with Maeumi. You gestured slightly for him to follow you, and you both walked quietly into the house. “Jungwon, you’ve grown so much!” “Grandma!” You watched them, your grandmother hugging Jungwon. “Goodness, you’re taller than me now! And you’re an idol now, aren’t you?”

The new information seemed to make your mind stop. Jungwon was an idol now? You didn’t really keep up with K-pop much, more interested in Western music like Taylor Swift and Dua Lipa. The most you knew were some of the names of new 4th gen groups, like Stray Kids and Tommorrow x Together. “Yeah, i’m the leader.” You could hear the pride in his voice, and you were also proud. Your cousin was the leader of an idol group, after all. God, he had changed a lot. Sure, you were the top of your class and you were the captain of your school’s volleyball team, but Jungwon was an idol. That was huge. You figured he must be amazing, it was Jungwon after all, he was always the best in everything he did.

“You’re an idol?” you mumbled faintly, only loud enough for Jungwon to hear. He smiled slightly, Maeumi jumping down from your arms to chase your grandfather around. “Yeah, in the group Enhypen.” You recognised the name, one of your friends was talking about their leader the other day. You weren’t paying much attention then, but you did remember them saying a name similar to Jungwon’s. You realised now that they were talking about Jungwon, your Jungwon, your best friend and cousin Jungwon. You didn’t know how to respond anymore, and sighed in relief when your mother called you to the kitchen.

It was late now. You had been avoiding Jungwon for the day, each time you interacted was awkward and ended with one of you being called away for something. You spent most of the day playing with Maeumi, and you could feel Jungwon watching you sometimes. Jungwon was going around, helping your parents and your aunt and uncle with whatever they were doing. It was all awkward, you hadn’t seen each other for the past 15 years. You remembered that his birthday was on Sunday, the day before you were leaving.

It was the night of Jungwon’s birthday. The family had celebrated, and the rest of the members of Jungwon’s idol group had video-called to wish him. Jungwon introduced you to them, Heeseung and Jay and Jake and Sunghoon and Sunoo and Ni-ki. You laughed with them, they were pretty normal and they made funny jokes. Jungwon told you about them, about Heeseung being amazing at everything and loving ramyun, Jay being like the mother of the group and you heard the fondness in his voice when he described him, Jake teaching him english and playing games with them, Sunghoon being the “weird hyung” and having been an ice skater, Sunoo being obsessed with his beauty and being amazing at “aegyo”, and Ni-ki being a cute and playful maknae. He talked about them all fondly, the same way he used to talk about something he enjoyed doing. You realised that he had changed quite a bit, this was his new family, and you were the old one.

You regretted losing touch with Jungwon, you missed him so much. As night fell, your parents sent you both to sleep, just like old times. You couldn’t sleep tonight. You felt uncomfortable in the bed you had been sleeping in for the past two weeks, that feeling like you were missing something resurfacing. You sighed, hugging your bear and rolling out of bed. You tiptoed out of your room, sneaking to Jungwon’s room.

“Jungwon, I can’t sleep” you whispered, slightly nudging him.

“Y/n, it’s the middle of the night. go to sleep” he mumbled, trying to fake his sleep quite obviously.

“I can’t sleep, can I sleep with you?”

Jungwon sighed a little as he shuffled along in his bed, letting you climb in. You felt a sting of nostalgia as you snuggled into him.

“I missed you, Wonie” you mumbled, hiding in the warmth as it enveloped you.

“I missed you too, Y/nnie.”

You felt his arms wrap around you, as your head rested on his neck. His arms felt comfortable, protecting you from your awkwardness as you felt the weird gap close, and the missing part was now there again. You realised that it was just that you had missed him, missed how close you were in the past. You sighed, your eyes drooping as you succumbed to sleep, peaceful for the first time in 15 years.

You woke up the next morning to light chuckling. Your grandmother was standing in the doorway, watching her two grandchildren. She was glad, you were finally getting along together just like you used to. You closed your eyes, ignoring the harsh sunglight and going back to sleep in Jungwon’s comfortable hold. You woke up again later on, Jungwon lightly shaking you awake, “Come on, Y/nnie, we have to go eat.” You smiled at the nickname as more waves of nostalgia hit you, getting out of bed. You were leaving today, and the realisation made you sad. The day before yesterday had been busy as you packed so that you didn’t have to pack this morning.

You pulled your luggage into the entrance of the house, putting it next to Jungwon’s. Jungwon was standing there with Maeumi, and Maeumi bounded over to you, wanting one last cuddle. You sighed, “I’ll miss you, Maeumi.” You said your goodbyes to your grandparents with slight tears, which Jungwon also had, you noticed.

You hugged each other, “Come visit us, ok?” Jungwon asked. “Of course I will” you replied, hugging him tight. You both pulled your luggage into your respective cars, and stood outside waiting for your parents.

“Y/n, Jungwon, which car are you going in?” Your grandmother asked, smiling.

“What?” You asked, “We’re going in our own cars, of course” Jungwon said in confusion.

“Oh, your parents didn’t tell you, did they? You’re moving to Seoul, to Jungwon’s house.”

Your grandmother’s words took a few seconds to process. You were moving to Seoul? You were going to live with Jungwon again?

“Mother, it was meant to be a surprise!” Your uncle sighed, smiling at the two of you, both who were still in shock. Your grandmother laughed, “So, which car are you going in?”

You both looked at each other, still slightly shocked but now more excited.

“Can we go in my car, Y/nnie?” Jungwon asked hopefully, reaching out his hand.

You took the hand he held out, “Of course we can, is that even a question, Wonie?” You grinned, and he grinned back.

You both waved goodbye to your grandparents as the cars rolled out of the driveway, both of you sharing Jungwon’s headphones as you listened to Enhypen’s album, Dimension: Answer. Jungwon insisted on showing it to you, pointing out whenever he sang. It was so entertaining, he grinned and puffed up a bit whenever you said his voice was good. You were proud of him, and glad to have your best friend back.

As the car rolled slowly through traffic, you slowly fell asleep on his shoulder, listening to Polaroid Love. Your heart had stopped the pangs of loneliness, and you slept in peace, the melody calming you and his shoulder like a pillow, an arm around you, a protection from the world.

With Jungwon by your side, you felt like you could face anything. He was your rock, your comfort, and, more than anything, your best friend, one that you still had after all these years.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/♡ the end ☆\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n: that was fun to write, hope you enjoyed and happy birthday to our best leader, yang jungwon!

check out the rest of my content here

[spookysmujer]

Family is Forever, O. Diaz

Summary: The past comes to haunt  you and your family with Oscar.

warnings: angst, domestic!Oscar, swearing,physical abuse, attempt sexual abuse, child endangerment

word count: 4.8K

requested by @alliemariee15

a/n: Thank you for requesting and being so patient! This sweetheart requested this a month ago and has been nothing but understanding, so thank you so much! I went harder than I intended to with this, hehe. Also big thank to everyone as I’ve hit 1K followers!!! Please don’t forget to follow this blog, heart/like/reblog my content as well as leave some comments, pretty please :) Also turn on the notifs for when I post something new!

taglist: @clemmingstylins0n @fairygardenss @firebenderwolf @spookysnena @princesstiffxoxo @mbaku-babygirl @chellybear98 @multiyfandomgirl40 @i-just-wanna-live-gc (please let me know if you wanna be added or removed!)

(gif belongs to @merakiaes 🌟)

A life long dream of yours since freshmen year in high school was to move somewhere along the East Coast and for sometime that was the goal that you were working hard towards. 

And then Oscar Diaz happened. It was sophomore year when he ‘claimed’ you. You weren’t so into him as much as he was into you but he never stopped trying to get you and by some twisted fate of luck, he got you. Not long after officially dating, you got pregnant with your son, Abel. It didn’t matter that you were only 16 or the fact that Oscar had joined a gang. You two made it work.

That was 6 years ago, your son has grown into a very intelligent little boy. He is a carbon copy of his dad at that age, his thick black locks that are curled on top of his head has to be your favorite feature of his. You hadn’t got to see Oscar with hair like so since he’d already been sporting the shaved cholo look from when you two began dating. 

A lot has happened over those 6 years. Both good and bad. 

It was only a few weeks into summer after graduating high school that Oscar was arrested for drug possession. It completely wrecked you. At that point it seemed obvious that he would be the one you’d spend the rest of your life with. All that seemed to shift on the night when the police knocked on the door. The loud, echoing pounding and a 2 year-old Abel seemingly frightened. 

When Oscar opened the door he didn’t try to resist arrest for he knew this day would come. You held your son close to your chest as he called out for his papa.

You took him to visit Oscar whenever he’d ask and let him talk on the phone with him every chance you got. Nothing could get between you and your family, not even prison. And when he was released after 4 long years, the heavens rejoiced and so did the two of you. With lots of rolling in the sheets. 

That’s why you’re now in a PartyCity store looking for the right unicorn balloons for your soon-to-be 4 year old daughter’s upcoming birthday. When you found out you were pregnant again only 2 weeks after Oscar had been released, the both of you laughed, not surprised one bit. It was no secret that you wanted more kids together so it was fate to add a little girl, whom you named Ella, to the mix.

“Ma, can we go now? We been here forever.” Abel sighs as you make another round in the same isle you were in just a few minutes ago.

The corners of your lips lift as you know he has your patience, which is zero to none. He’s been a champ for most of the morning but once you had been running back and forth between stores, he began to lose his patience quickly.

Your daughter sports a mean muggin’ face, much like her father.  “I wan mah balloons!” She is standing in the cart, staring at her brother. The look of ‘I am going to get my way’. Abel only rolls his eyes and groans as she turns to sit in the cart and look at which balloons she wants.

“Cute kids.”

A voice sounds from in front of you, you smile and turn to thank the stranger but you are met with no stranger. A very familiar face. One that put you through hell, one that definitely was not suppose to be within a 100 feet of you. 

When Oscar was in prison you were absolutely loyal to him. Not once did you lose faith in your relationship. Even when you had your hardships such as the times Oscar got doubtful that he would never get out, he’d ask you to move on. Though it was never a thought at all. You share a child together, you’re bonded for life.

But to the streets if your man is serving time then you’re fair game. That’s just how they ran things but to hell if you were gonna let that happen. That never stopped other dudes trying to get with you. And there was one particular one that never stopped trying, Tomas. He became obsessive with you. He wanted you, he wanted to be the man that Oscar couldn’t be for you at that moment. But you never gave in because for you Oscar was it.

“What are you doing here? You know the obligations of your restraining order.” The calmness in your voice shows no fear but you know the lengths he’d go when it comes to you.

Tomas only chuckles to himself as he digs his hands in his pockets, “That expired this morning at 10. But I’m just visiting some homies, ain’t know you’d be here.”

You watch him intently as pull your son closer to you. Thankfully Ella has her back to you so you could have a hold on her should he try anything, “Yeah well, I don’t want nothing to do with you so I think it’s best if you just go on about your day and your life far away from here. Oscar has been out for a while now so I wouldn’t be so stupid and try something.”

He takes a few steps forward which makes you automatically step back, one hand locked on your son’s shoulder and the other on the shopping cart. “Calmate, I’m just passing through, preciosa.” A chill runs down your spine as he caresses your face with the back of his finger making you flinch.

Abel grabs onto you and holds you tightly as Ella watches the man stand close to you, “Mama, who is this?” She asks excitedly as she pulls herself up from sitting. You look to him and her as he turns towards your little girl.

“Hi, I’m Tomas, a friend of your mom’s. And who are you?” Your heart rate is increasing, your nerves are scattered all over the place, worried something may happen. Your daughter’s curiosity has worried you since she could talk.

She smiles as he waits for her answer, “Ella, it’s my birthday soon! I’ll be this much!” Ella holds up 4 little fingers and covers her mouth with her other hand, laughing due to Tomas’ pretend shocked expression.

“I have to go. Please stay away from me and my family.” You hoist your son into the cart, despite his protests that he can walk. You step back quickly and spin the cart around.

Ella is complaining that you didn’t get all the balloons but you hush her. After checking out you ask a worker to escort you out. He kindly helps you load your car as you get your kids in.

“Answer, answer, answer.”

You’re chanting quietly to yourself as you pull out of the parking lot to head home. Your heart is thudding in your chest like wildfire, you need to hear Oscar’s voice, even if he says he is busy you just want to have his calming voice soothe you.

A few rings in, “Hola, mamas. Where are you?” 

You slump back into the seat, his voice on the sound system has an instant effect on you. You exhale a deep breath, “Papa, it’s me! I miss yew!”

Ella shouts and you smile as you hear Oscar laugh, always so happy to hear their voices, “Mija! I miss you and your mano, where are you guys?”

“We just leave the store! I meet mama’s man friend.” You quickly shush your daughter and hang up the phone call. You can’t be mad at her because it’s not like she knows better or the fact that you forgot to tell to your kids not to mention seeing Tomas to their dad.

She whines that you ended the phone call, “Babygirl, you can’t tell daddy about that man, okay?” You look in the rearview mirror to get a look at her as she has her arms crossed over her chest and gaze away from you. “Mija, look at mommy please.”

When she finally does take a look at you, she keeps her lil Spooky face on, “That was mean and papa will be mad you did that.” 

“I know, I shouldn’t have done that. Just don’t talk about that friend we saw because then daddy will be really mad at mommy. Please?”

Ella’s features soften a bit and turns happy when you tell her that you’ll stop to get ice cream on the way back home. Both kids cheer with happiness as you pull into McDonald's drive thru. 

Oscar has sent some texts asking about the abrupt end to the call and what Ella was going on about, but you made up the excuse that there was terrible reception and that she has been spilling nonsense since this morning. He brushes it off and you sigh in victory.

You finally get home, very weary of your surroundings though you don’t think Tomas would be so naive to try anything knowing you were with the Santos leader. Oscar gets home not long after you, thankfully he didn’t bring up the phone call and you went about your night.

“Com’n son, time to bathe. Vamanos.” Oscar calls out from the hallway. Abel stands but moves slowly from the living room, so focused on the big screen, “Abel!” Your son scurries off. He is always last to shower because he is so glued the TV all the time.He has learned what comes next if there is a 3rd time being called. “Coming!”

The stress of Ella’s birthday is taking a toll on you because she is a very specific little girl and the slightest detail on a decoration will have her stomping her feet and pouting her lip for days. You’re definitely raising a perfectionist. 

Oscar stands in front of the bathroom mirror as he uses a razor to clean up his facial hair as well as to keep an eye on Abel who loves to let the bath get too bubbly or he’ll doze off and considering it’s nearly 10 PM, it’s a possibility. 

“How was shopping with Mama today?” Oscar asks as he zeroes in on getting a clean cut. Abel doesn’t answer right away as he ponders telling Oscar about his whole day or skipping on the part about meeting Tomas and how you were not so happy about it.

With Abel as the older child he is more aware. Unlike Ella who couldn’t pick up on the unsettling feeling Tomas had given off, Abel knew that this man was trouble. And his dad always taught him to protect his family. Family is forever and is the most important thing. Always to protect his family if his dad couldn’t.

“It was okay. Ella was whining, papa. She didn’t like the balloons mama picked out at one store so we had to go to a whole other store! I was tired of looking at pink and purple unicorns. Then that man that came up to us was..” 

Abel stopped talking as he realizes he let it slip out. And Oscar heard him loud and clear. He waits for Abel to continue talking but nothing comes from behind the shower curtain. Abel begins to cry, scared that he’ll get you in trouble. Oscar opens the shower curtain to see his son with his knees to his chest, sobbing.

Meanwhile, you are oblivious to what is happening. Your son keeps his face hidden as Oscar reaches to turn off the flowing water and sits on the side of the tub, watching his son. What is he afraid of saying that is making him this anxious?

“Abel Cesar Diaz, what’s going on? Hm?” Oscar taps his sons knee and the big, dark orbs that resemble his father’s peer up. Oscar can be the typical Hispanic father that tends to be disciplinary but he has learned that talking helps a lot as well.

So Abel explains to his dad what happened at the store with your friend. About how you didn’t look like you wanted him around and how scared you seemed. He explained how the man looked at you and how he didn’t think he was good news.

The veins on Oscar’s neck and forehead begins to bulge the more his son explained about Tomas. Oscar is aware of who he is. When he was in Corcoran his homies always kept him up to date of the streets. And it upset him when he had to hear about this pendejo from the Santos rather than from you. But after you two had a heated conversation over the phone, your next visit you explained. And when Tomas kept persisting you, you finally had a restraining order and more protection from the Santos until Oscar got out.

Oscar comforts his son and tells him that he isn’t upset with him. “Hey, you protected your mom, so you did your part and I am proud of you.” He helps him get dried off and ready for bed. After tucking his son in, he checks on Ella who is softly snoring on her bed. He smiles that she has finally gotten use to sleeping alone. He closes their bedroom door and stands in the hall for a moment, sighing and wiping the tiredness from his eyes, making his way to you.

You’re hunched over the table looking over a tablet that carries the plans for the birthday party as well as thanksgiving since that’ll be in a month. “Want a beer?” You ask Oscar as he sits across from you but he waves you off.

“Tell me about that stunt Tomas pulled today.” 

Your eyes meet his and you freeze for a moment. Your chest is rising and falling as you try to figure out something to say, “He ran into us at the store. I told him to leave me alone and that’s all that happened. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just..”

Oscar’s jaw clenches as you stare at him, your heart skipping each beat the longer he stares and doesn’t say anything. “And you didn’t tell me again because? Had to hear from Abel. Again, Y/N? Someone is bothering you, you tell me. You let me handle that shit. That’s why our call suddenly ended? Making the kids fuckin’ lie to me too?”

His anger is beginning to bubble over. You take slow breaths to keep your temper under control. With the past couple days you’ve been having, you had no energy to start arguing back. “I never told them to lie, I asked them to not mention it. It’s not lying, technically..”

“Oh, don’t give me that shit. Don’t be technical with me, that puto should know better than to be approaching you and even my own son could feel how much he bothered you. It’s a good thing I’m raising my son right to protect his mama.” Oscar stands and paces the kitchen.

“Babe, I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you..again. I had no idea that he would be there, you think if I knew that I would have went out today?” 

Oscar leans against the counter, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration, “I don’t know why I didn’t hear anything from the compas. Everyone knows, including him, he got a target on his head for what he did. This is why I tell you carry that gun in your purse. My kids were there. And I love you to the fuckin’ end, amor... but had something happened to one of them, a bullet would be in your fuckin’ head.”

He leaves you in the kitchen by yourself and you’re shocked at his words. Oscar has been a dad since he was a teenager, since the two of you met. You knew the lengths he’d go for Cesar, but for his kids? He’d take out anyone including you as he stated. You let out a shaky breath. 

You decide to give him sometime alone. He’s the most upset you’ve ever seen him and he is rightfully so but you weren’t sure how to fix it. You do what you think any man cannot resist, seducing them. At least this way you can ease into him forgiving you.

But when you enter your shared bedroom he is tucking his two kids in on your bed. You quirk your eyebrows up in confusion. Did he know you well enough that you’d use seduction to get his forgiveness? Oscar turns to see you standing in the doorway, “Why are the kids in here?”

“Heading out, I want them by you while I’m out.” He is shuffling around the room gathering things. The usual: keys, phone, wallet, gun, extra mag. You watch him as he looks to you, “Where exactly are you going, Oscar?” 

He breathes out through his nose and that’s enough for you to know. You don’t open your mouth to bicker as he is standing in front of you now, looking down at you with eyebrows creased together, “He ain’t getting near you or my kids again. Don’t leave the house or room, lock the bedroom door and don’t unlock it til I call you.”

Oscar steps away but stops to turn and pull your face towards his.He presses his lips to yours. You melt into it instantly, your hands grasping his forearms. The kiss deepening for a moment as your hands move up to cup his face. When he pulls back you are breathless. Craving more.

Then he is gone.

The house is quiet as you lay awake waiting for your boyfriend to return. Your fingers running through your son’s hair. Something you love to do and Abel loves you doing it too. Ella not so much though. She’s a verbal lover rather than a physical lover, the thought making you chuckle. How different your two kids are.

You’re pulled from your thoughts as you hear some shuffling from the living room, grabbing your phone you wait for it to ring with Oscar’s name but it never does. So you call out to him, “Babe?”

When you get no response you climb out of bed and quietly tip toe towards the bedroom door to get a better listen, maybe he is testing you to see if you’d listen to what he said about not unlocking the door until he calls. 

The buzzing of your phone pulls your attention and you see Oscar’s name pop up with the cutest picture of him and the two kids. You sigh in relief, unlocking the door and stepping out to an empty hallway.

“Oscar?” You call out and switch on the light but he isn’t there. You click the answer button and bring the phone to your ear. “Babe?”

“Hey, this puto is hiding, still nothing just checking on you. The kids still asleep?” When the words leave his lips, you close your eyes and feel a tear slide down your cheek. When you open them, Tomas is standing at the end of the hall, leaning against the wall watching you.

You hold the phone to your ear as you watch him put a single finger close to his lips signaling to be quiet about his presence. You could tell Oscar about him, then you could run to the room and lock the door. Quickly hide the kids in the bathroom for their safety and tell Abel to call his dad because so long as your kids are safe that’s all that matters. But what if he is quicker than you? What if he goes straight for the kids?

“Snoring like bears per usual. We’re okay, just be safe and Oscar?” You pause for a moment as Tomas gives you sickening, sinister look stalking towards you until he is standing right in front of you, his hands brushing against your exposed waist as you’re in a crop top. “Si?” Oscar answers you.

Tomas’ hands grab your chin and lifts it for you to look up at him, “When you find him, put a bullet right between his fucking eyes.” Tomas smiles and swipes his thumb on your lower lip, making you flinch.

Oscar chuckles, “You’re turning me on, mamas. Not much of him will be left. I’ll see you soon, te quiero.”

“Te quiero.” You say in a whisper as the line cuts. You try to step back but Tomas is quick, as you suspect he might be. He grabs ahold of the back of your head and into your hair. He pulls it back roughly with his body now pressed against you. “You have no idea how much I still want you. I think of you every single night. I remember how close you were to giving it to me. Hm.. you remember how badly you wanted me?”

You want to throw up, the feeling of him against you and his words makes you feel repulsed. His grip is iron-like and he is not letting up not until he gets what he wants and it’s obvious he wants you.

“P-please. M-my kids, let me close the door. Just let me at least close it.” Your bottom lip is trembling uncontrollably and the tears have been spilling over since the phone call with Oscar ended. He analyzes you. Are you trying to make an escape? He walks forward, pushing you back towards the bedroom door. And with his free hand reaches back to close the bedroom door, you look over shoulder at your sleeping kids as the door closes. Sending a little prayer for their safety.

He grabs your face and plant a sloppy kiss on your lips. You drown under him, not knowing how to win in this situation.

“So what do you do now?” 

Oscar voice causes his chest to vibrate which is right up against yours. He has your arms pinned under his, “Hm, I kiss you to distract you!” You tilt your head upwards to plant a chaste kiss on his lip. He smiles into the kiss and pulls his head back, “You gonna be kissing random dudes who run up on you, hm?”

You can’t help but laugh as he gives you a mischievous look. “Well if it works for me to distract them long enough, then yes!” Oscar rolls his eyes and nods his head to proceed with his defense lesson since you weren’t so keen on firearms, he’s teaching you physical defense.

“Fine, fine. So let’s say the kiss does distract the perp, if you have him in this kind of position? Jab here with all your might.” He points to his side right below his rib cage. “There’s a nerve that’ll cause them to tense up and give you a few seconds. That’s when it matters the most, those few seconds. So think before you do.”

You look at the spot Oscar had pointed to, you jab your fingers there and he tenses up like he says would happen. He curls over and you step back and laugh, making your quick escape.

That moment plays in your head. The kissing is a distraction, he has one of your arms pressed against him and it’s the perfect opportunity. Then the thought of how you asked Ella to pick up her toys that laid on the kitchen floor earlier infiltrates your memory as she never did considering she fell asleep.

You allow him to seep his tongue into your mouth and when you do, you feel him release the grip on your hair. This is the moment. With your fingers pointed, you dig your hand into his side, right below the rib cage and he retorts back. The same way Oscar had. You use your shoulder to push him into the wall which gives you enough space to move away from him.

Tomas recovers quicker than you hoped. So when you were going to leap over the pile of toys, hoping he would trip over them, you feel a grip on your hair once more and you’re sent flying back. The pain stinging your scalp, you yulp when you hit the ground. He is on you and his body suffocating you, “You stupid bitch! Pull that stunt again and I promise you’ll regret it.”

His hand hits your cheek and you cry out as you try to get him off you. The fear setting in as his hand reaches to his belt, the clinking of the metal making you terrified of what is to come next.

But it’s the sound of a gun cocking that stops Tomas trying to unbuckle his belt. He looks back towards the sound just as you do too. You’re heart breaks into a million pieces to see you 6 year old son holding a gun in his hand. His grip on it perfect, ready to fire. His stance, arms out and legs spread apart ready for the recoil.

“Son, go back in the room, please. Just go back to your sister.” Your voice trembles as Abel keeps his eyes on Tomas. In the moment, he resembles his papa more than ever. 

Abel shakes his head no, “Get off my mama. I know how to shoot a gun and I’ll shoot you, get off her now!” He sounds like his dad too, you can only sob.

“Mommy?” Ella’s voice sounds from behind Abel. Which distracts him. Tomas takes this opportunity to get the gun away from Abel, “No!” You cry out.

Despite the ache in your body, you sit up and jump on Tomas’ back just before he can reach your son, Ella is screaming scared as Abel runs to his little sister and stands in front of her. You hold onto Tomas with all your might, the strength of a mother is like no other, “Abel, go! Get your sister and run, baby! Run to Tio Cesar’s friends house, go!”

Tomas manages to get you off and slams you back into the wall. The blow stunning you, you have the wind completely knocked out of you. The back of his hand hits your face which causes you to fall over. You cry out as you see him step towards your kids. The fire of the gun sounds and Tomas cries out in pain holding his arm.

“Y/N!” You hear Cesar followed by footsteps. He is kneeling besides you as the Santos enter the house to check it out. “My babies, are they okay?” 

“Mama!” Abel calls out as he drops the gun and runs to you, you hold your arms open to embrace your son. Your brave baby boy. Fearless much like his father. Ella joins quickly and you squeeze them tightly.

They sob in your arms as you sit on the floor, the pain radiating throughout you numb from the love your kids are giving, “Y/N! Baby?!” Oscar’s voice booms through the house as he approaches you. He pulls Cesar away as he falls to his knees besides you. His arms envelopes all 3 of you.

Ella turns into her father’s chest, he can feel her thudding heartbeat. Tears stream down his face as he felt he let down his family but as the Santos grabbed the injured Tomas and dragged him out of the house, both of you sigh in relief that the worst is over.

“Mijo, you did it again. You protected your family and papa is so proud of you. You..” Oscar can’t form anymore words as he hugs his son and plants kisses on his head. You stand from the ground and use Oscar’s arm as support.

“Cesar take the kids to the bathroom, make sure they’re okay, por favor.” The younger Diaz nods and whisks away the little ones. Oscar pulls a chair out for you to sit, he kneels in front of you and examines the damage.

You look to him, eyes feeling puffy from the crying, “I’m sorry, I didn’t listen. I put our kids in danger and you’re right, I should have a bullet in my fucking head. I’m sorry, Oscar.” Your head falls as you sob hard, the hyperventilating causing hiccups.

“Baby, none of that shit matters. My kids are okay and you are now. He can’t do anything to hurt you anymore and I promise, you didn’t do nothing wrong. We’re lucky we’re raising a smart boy. I love you.” He wipes your face dry with his shirt and stands, pulling you into his warm, safe embrace.

You all take a shower and cuddle into the bed. Abel and Ella rest in between you and Oscar, embracing each other. Ella has her tiny head on her brother’s chest, forever his sister’s keeper. Oscar sighs as he intertwines your hands together, you look up at him as he gives you a soft smile.

This morning you woke a happy family and tonight you lay down a stronger one.

[libraryofloveletters]

Neighbours

Derek Morgan x Reader 

Warnings: fem!reader, cursing, kissing, mentions of cheating, death of a parent, alcohol.

Category: Mix of angst and fluff 

Word Count: 4k

Author's Note: Idea came from @m0rcia​‘s garvez idea from the Hotchner fam au :) 

----- 

During High School 

The boy next door. 

Oh how you hated him, something about him just irritated you. Tall, dark and annoying is what he was, there was no other way to put it. It wasn’t always like that though, truthfully you and Derek had gotten along rather well as children. 

Things started to change around the start of high school, you didn't hang out as much and you had both gotten your own friend groups. His focus was on football and yours was on school. The two of you used to spend hours upon hours outside throwing around that stupid football of his. You’d both go home covered in mud and grass stains but you didn’t have the same desire to be tackled into the mud as you did when you were younger.

Senior year was coming to an end, everyone had picked a path for their life and you were, well, stuck. You had no clue what you wanted to do or where to go from there. The whole neighbourhood was gushing about Derek, the school’s star football player and his plans to go to Northwestern with his football scholarship. Of course your parents also knew all about Derek and his scholarship, meaning that you got compared to him every single night until you figured out what you were doing with your life. 

Graduation day was absolute hell. It was hot and you were uncomfortable in the heels your mother forced you to wear. You sat in the smouldering heat with all of your classmates, listening as your wretched principal spoke. 

Clearly, you loved high school. 

It came the time to throw the caps, because your school did things like that. You un-energetically threw your cap in the air, watching as it hit the floor. Something hit your back as you bent to pick up your cap. Turning around, you were met with none other than Derek Morgan himself. 

“Sorry y/n” 

“Watch where the fuck you throw shit” 

“Okay mama, relax with the attitude” he squeezed your shoulder, “I’m sorry” 

“Are you though?” you rolled your eyes and pushed his hand off your shoulder. 

“I am s-” 

“Save it” you shake your head as you walk the other way. He didn’t say anything to you again after that day. 

The night before he left, his mom threw a little party for him. It started as a little party and ended with the whole graduating class in Fran’s backyard. You had gone over with your parents, but you didn’t speak to Derek. You said hello to Fran and his sisters, and a few friends you saw at the party. Your parents left early and you stuck around to hang out with some friends. 

Around 3am, you decided it was time to head home. It was only Derek with a few of his guys and their girlfriends hanging around, your friends had just left. Fran was in the kitchen trying to clean up the house, you stepped in and knocked on the wall.

“Need some help Mrs. Morgan ?” 

“Oh sweetie, call me Fran and I'm alright. Why don’t you head home ?” 

“That’s okay, I don’t mind. If it’s just the kitchen, I can finish up and you can go to bed ?” 

“Are you sure you want to do that?” she asked before setting the garbage bag down. 

“Yeah, I’ve got it. Get some rest” you smiled back. 

She kissed your cheek before heading to her bedroom. You liked Fran, she was always nice to you and checked up on you, even if you and Derek stopped talking. 

The backdoor clicked shut while you were washing the dishes. “Hey, I didn't realize you were still here” Derek spoke quietly, “where’s mom?” he asked you. “In bed, I told her I'd finish cleaning up” you told him, not turning around. 

“Thanks, I can take over if you wanna get home” he mumbled with his mouth full. You glance over your shoulder to see Derek practically inhaling a slice of pizza.

“You still don't chew?” you asked him, shutting off the sink and wiping your hands off. 

“What’s that supposed to mean ?” he said, his brows furrowed and his mouth full. You gave him a small smile and shook your head. 

“You actually smile?” Derek asked you, a look of genuine amazement on his face. 

“Shut up” you picked up a slice of pizza and hopped up onto the counter. Derek stood beside you, leaning against the counter. The only thing between you and him was the empty box of pizza. The two of you ate in silence, no tension, no anger, just there in the moment. 

Derek looked over at you, “what happened to us?” he questioned you. 

“What do you mean?” you hopped off the counter. 

“You used to say we’d be in each other’s lives forever when we were younger” he watched as you moved about the kitchen. 

“I’m still here Derek” you told him.

“But you’re not though” he uttered, looking at you. 

“It’s just different now” you picked up the empty box and threw it out. 

“How? I’m still me and you’re still you” He grabbed your hand. 

You scoffed and shook your head, “expect you’re not just you anymore. You’re the popular football player that everyone loves and I'm just.. me” 

He looked at you, he looked sad. He opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off. “Don’t do that. Don’t say it’s not true, because we both know it’s true.” Derek didn't say anything to you, he pulled you closer to him. You were now standing in front of him, he was still against the counter. 

“Y/n, you’ll always be important to me, you know that right ? I know we drifted, a lot more than I’d like to admit but I still care about you, I still check on you” his hand cradled your face, you were looking up at him. 

“Really ?” you asked him quietly, so quietly he almost didn't hear you. He nodded and leaned towards you. You leaned in too, his lips inches away from yours. 

“Can I?” he whispered, you nodded. His lips were on yours, your arms were over his shoulder, one of your hands resting on the back on his neck. Derek’s hand was still on your cheek and the other one on your waist. 

If it wasn't for his sister coming down and catching the two of you, it would have gone on a lot long. “Ahem” she cleared her throat, you and Derek pulled away from each other and turned towards her. 

“Hey you two” she had a smug smile on her face.

“Hi.. uh I should get home” you said quietly before heading towards the door. 

“Let me walk you home” Derek followed you to the door, you shook your head. “I’m fine. Goodnight you guys, tell Fran I say thank you for having us over” you slide open the backdoor and step out. 

The early morning breeze was chill but yet warm. It was starting to change to autumn weather, you walked across the street, the wind blowing the leaves down the street. You sat on your front porch when you got home, your mom stepped out. 

“Are you now getting home?” she walked past you to the car. 

“Yeah, I stayed back to help Fran tidy up. Where are you going ?” you asked 

“Work, there was an emergency” she told you as she got in the car, you knew she was lying to you. Sometimes she forgot you weren’t a kid anymore, you knew she was cheating on your dad. She wasn’t very good at hiding it, but you had the things on your mind, like your kiss with Derek. 

He was leaving for college in less than 12 hours, it made no sense to start something with him. You sat on your porch for the rest of the day, heading in to use the bathroom and get something to eat. 

You watched the sun rise, felt the temperature change, watched Derek pack his boxes into the car, saw his goodbye to his sisters and his mother. He looked across the street, he looked at you before getting in his car. He didn't smile, he didn't come say anything. 

He just left. 

15 years later

You found yourself, once again, on your front pouch watching Derek. Only this time, he was unpacking. Fran had passed away last week, it was a heart attack. No one could have known but that didn't make it hurt any less. 

You had seen him at the funeral, you didn’t say anything to him but he saw you. He gave you a small smile and you gave him one back. You hadn't seen him since your kiss 15 years ago. 

He stepped into the house and shut the door, you headed inside too. Your house was just as empty as his. Your parents had moved to the Bahamas in an attempt to save their marriage, leaving you with the house. You took the year after high school to work before finally settling on teaching as a career. You taught at your local high school with the same horrible staff and wretched principal that you hated all those years ago. You understood how the kids felt, it wasn't hard to connect with them. 

Settling in on your couch with a bottle of wine and Netflix, the doorbell rang. “Who is it?” you called out, not wanting to get up but there was no answer. The doorbell rang again, “who’s there?” you shouted, thinking that whoever was at the door didn't hear you the first time, but again there was no answer. The bell rang a 3rd time, “fuck hold on! I'm coming” you groaned as you walked to the door. You pulled the door open, 

“Are you deaf? you didn't hear me shouti-” Derek stood at your front door. “Oh, hi” you looked at him, he looked the same, only slightly older, more mature. “Hey, can I come in?” he asked, you nodded before stepping aside and letting him in. 

You really had debated if you should let him in, but you couldn’t turn him away, especially not now, not after what he had just gone through. 

He looked around as he followed you back to the living room. “House looks different” he took a seat on one end of the couch, “yeah, remodelled after they left” you sat at the other. Derek looked at you with a confused expression on his face, “left?” “they went to the Bahamas to try and save their marriage but I doubt that’ll work” you took a sip of your wine. You leaned the bottle in his direction, he took the bottle from you and took a sip. 

“No glasses ?” he chuckled, leaning back into the cushions. 

“Didn’t want to wash them afterwards” you turned the grinch back on. Derek laughed, you looked over at  him, “what ?” “you still watch this shit?” “hey! the grinch is my favourite, don't start with me Morgan” he rolled his eyes and settled back into his spot. 

15 minutes later, he rolled over onto his stomach and sprawled himself over your couch. “I'm hungry, what do you have to eat ?” he looked at you, “order a pizza” you mumbled, your eyes still on the tv. 

Half an hour later, a weight lifts off the house and your front door opens. Derek returns to the couch with a box of pizza. You watched as he set the box down and opened it, he looked over at you. 

“It’s rude to stare” he smiled and you shook your head “don't flatter yourself” 

He picked up a piece and practically inhaled it. “Seriously dude, would it kill you to chew ?” you watched him as his face changed into confusion. 

“Okay, I need to know what you mean by that! I've been hearing it my whole life” he pouted. You let out a loud laugh, “you never chew, you just inhale your food” you told him, his mouth making an O shape. 

Once again, you could yourself in the company of Derek Morgan, in the middle of the night, eating pizza, in silence. Shifting positions on the couch, you turned to him, “I'm really sorry about Fran, she was a wonderful woman” you spoke quietly, unsure if you regretted what you just said. He nodded, “she was, wasn’t she?” he gave you a small smile. 

“I saw your sisters when at the service, they didn’t come help you pack up ?” 

“They’ve got their lives, work and their families. I told them I'd handle it” 

“Hm, you’re not busy with work ? What happened to Mister Big Shot that went to Northwestern?” you joked, he chuckled. 

“Well, Mister Big Shot that went to Northwestern” he mocked, “got a law degree and works for the FBI now” he admitted to you proudly. 

“What the hell, are you serious ?” you were genuinely shocked, he nodded. If someone told you that Derek went on to be a football player, you’d believe them with no questions asked, but Derek, as a FBI agent, was something you never ever thought would happen. 

“The same Derek that rolled around in mud his entire childhood and was in trouble all the time, works for the fricking FBI ?” you laughed, “yup, that would be the one and I wasn't always in trouble!” 

The two you ended up sitting on the couch till about 3 am. “Can I ask you something ?” Derek turned to you, “of course” you looked over at him. 

“What happened to us? I want the truth. We’ve both grown up, the least we can do is talk about it.”

“I don’t know, we just drifted.” you looked at the wall, you couldn’t bare to look at Derek right now. His hand rested on yours, “y/n, c’mon, the truth.” 

“We just didn't fit into each other’s lives anymore. You went from Derek that would play dolls with me to Derek that was the popular football player. All the girls loved you, they practically swooned over you in the hallways, the guys were constantly talking about you and your games. I didn't want that attention. I just wanted you as you, not everything that came with it. The only way to let you go was to push you away I guess” you admitted to him, he sighed. 

“See, if you had told me that-” you cut him off, “what ? you would have ignored all the girls ? stopped being the star of the football team ? don’t lie to yourself Derek. We both knew you loved it, it’s who you are. You would have never given that up, especially not for me.” you looked over at him, his eyes were on you. He looked at you like he had never seen you before, like you were this fascinating thing that deserved all of his attention. 

“That moment we had in the kitchen that night, that meant nothing ?” he moved closer to you. “Of course it meant something but you didn’t even say goodbye. You just upped and left, Derek. All the times you came home to visit, you didn’t even say hello” 

“y/n, I tried. I came every time I came home. That day, I didn’t say goodbye because I thought I had upset you with the kiss, but I came every time I came home, to see you and try and talk. Your mom always said you weren’t home and she’d tell you.” 

“What? She never told me anything” 

“Well there you go. I tried, I promise you I did.” 

The two of you sat there, the tension was so thick you couldn't cut it with a knife. “Y/n” he called for you, you were too deep in your thoughts to hear him. “y/n” he called out again, his finger pulls your chin towards him. 

“Hm?”

“You know I care about you, right ? I never stopped” 

“Okay” you mumbled and got up. 

“That’s it? We’re not going to talk about it ?” Derek stood up 

You walked into the kitchen, ignoring Derek and his questions. You leaned forward on the counter, your hands gripping the edge to try and ground yourself. 

Why hadn’t she told me he came ? He just wanted to talk, what’s her problem ?

“Y/n, come on. Can we talk?” Derek rested his hand on your shoulder, you shrugged your shoulder and pushed his hand off. “Get out” you mumbled, “what ?” his eyes burning into your back. “Get. Out.” you said a little louder, “Why ? I just want to ta-” you turned around, you grabbed Derek’s hand and pulled him out of the kitchen and to the front door. “Out” you opened the door, 

“I'm so confused, why?” 

“Derek, shut up and get out!” 

You pushed him out of the door, he stood there looking back at you with a look of shock and confusion on his face. You slammed the door shut before heading to the bedroom to find our phone, expect it wasn't there. It felt as if you tore apart the entire house looking for it. When you found it, you dialled the one person you knew could answer your questions. 

“Hello ?” She answered 

“Why the hell wouldn’t you tell me that Derek came to see me ?! and not just once, BUT EVERY TIME!!” you yelled into the phone 

“Honey, calm down” your mother said to you. 

“Don’t tell me to calm down! you lied to me for 15 years, you watched me sulk for 2 whole years about Derek kissing me and just leaving when you knew he had come to talk to me!” 

“He’s no good for you” she said as if that was a fact. 

“What the hell does that mean? Not like you’d know what was good for me anyways. You don't care about anyone but yourself” you just hung up on her, you weren't in the mood to deal with her and her nonsense.

You paced back and forth through the whole house for a few hours. You had downed an entire bottle of wine while you paced, you knew what you needed to do. 

Come on, it’s just Derek. 

You headed out of the house and across the street.

God, what if he hates me now ? 

You walked back towards your house.

Oh, he won't hate me. 

You headed back to his house.

This is stupid.

You turned around to walk back to your house when you heard his voice. 

“Are you gonna stand out here all night like a mad woman ?” he leaned against the door frame. You walked up to him, he stood there looking at you. “I’m sorry I kicked you out earlier.. I just needed a minute to process things” you admitted,  Derek chuckled. “Considering that it's 4am, I'd say you had more than a minute to process. I’m making tea, want some?” he asked you, you nodded, “tea sounds good” you walked in. 

The house hadn't changed, expect for the addition of a few new picture frames. There were some of his sisters and him from what looks like his college graduation, some of his sisters and their families and the one that stood out to you was of Derek, Fran and some little skinny white boy. You picked up the frame and turned to Derek. 

“Come all this way and flirt with me but you have a boyfriend ?” you asked, holding back a laugh. 

“Haha, very funny. That’s Spencer Reid, we work together” 

“He works for the FBI ? He looked like a baby” you laughed and set down the frame. 

“He’s grown a lot since then” Derek laughed and headed to the kitchen, you followed him. “God, it felt like just yesterday we were running around here with Fran cooking and yelling at us” you said, hopping up on the counter. “Yeah, we had some good times” Derek smiled as he handed you a mug of tea. 

The two of you drank your tea quietly, you broke the silence. 

“I talked to my mom” you looked over at Derek, he turned to face you. 

“Oh yeah? What’d she say ?” 

“Nothing important, just tried to lie to me yet again” 

“About ?” 

“Apparently you’re ‘no good for me’ whatever that means” you roll your eyes, Derek shifts closer to you and he changes the topic. 

“You’re a teacher now ?”

“I am” you smiled, “ I don’t remember telling you that though, you work your FBI magic on me?” you chuckled, he smiled at you. 

“Mom told me, actually” your head tilted to the side, he realized you were confused.

“I feel weird admitting this to you, but she used to tell me what you were up too. She said she came to your graduation too” he fidgeted with his fingers. 

You smiled to yourself at the memory of Fran at your graduation. Your parents had already moved away and you didn't have anyone, you mentioned it to Fran as a by-the-way thing and she showed up.

“She did, but you’ve been keeping tabs on me or everyone you graduated with?” 

“Just the ones I've made out with” he had a smirk on that annoying face of his 

“Oh so half of the graduating class?” you held back a laugh. A loud “hey!” and a light smack to the arm was what that comment got you. Derek picked up the empty mugs and put them in the sink, on his way back to his spot beside you, you stretched your legs out, one was on each side of him. 

“What’s the plan here Ms. L/N?” 

“Not sure Mr. Morgan” 

“Actually, it's Agent Morgan to you” he stated causing you to roll your eyes. His hands rested on your thighs, “just two friends, chilling in a kitchen. Maybe they might kiss” you mumbled looking at him, he looked back at you with a smile on his face. 

“Yeah they might” 

“Exact- wait what ?” 

His hand cradled your face, your lips inches apart. “Can I ?” “Stop talking and kiss me alrea-” His lips on yours ended your sentence. Your heart pounded in your chest, you could only focus on how Derek’s lips felt against yours. You had been dreaming for another moment like this since your last kiss with him, it felt as if time stopped and it was only the two of you while the world melted away. 

Derek’s eyes had opened, taking the beautiful women in front of him. Taking in the moment just to make sure he wasn’t imagining what he had dreamt of the last 15 years and for the first time in those 15 years, he didn't feel angry or sad when he looked at you, he saw the one he had been waiting for.  

It felt like forever before either of you pulled away for a breath. Your hands clung onto Derek’s shirt like he’d disappear if you let go, his hands found their way to the back of your neck, toying with the hair at the nape of your neck. The two of you, wrapped up in each other, smiling at one another like children. 

“Not so bad huh ?” 

“Not so bad Morgan” 

---- 

Taglist: @aaronhotchnerr​ @mac99martin​ @aaron-hotchner187​ @tclaerh​ @luke-alvez​ @iconicc​ @lieberhers​ @pumpkin-reads​ @ssa-holmes​ @katexrichardson​ @sluttytears​

[runekeepershymnal]

Whoooooo. Okay!

1. Had my last class session tonight. As of August 3rd, I have graduated. Hopefully this Master’s degree will be more effective than the last one.

2. Finally got my meds worked out, after two months of effort and some serious bullshit of a provider telling me that I’d been misdiagnosed for the last twenty years and trying to change everything on me. Finally found a good one who was supportive and helpful.

3. Got a job interview for next week which sounds super promising. Doesn’t pay that much, but there’s benefits, and it might be worth it for that alone.

4. I can try to find project work in my field, or I can do some volunteering in an archive that can’t afford to hire someone and hopefully get some experience and do some good.

5. Had one of my recurring dreams about a musician last night, which is always a weird trip because they are so detailed and so emotionally in depth. It’s very weird, because these dreams always feel like seeing one another after a long time apart. I do not know this person, and while the content is pleasant and poetic, I’d appreciate it if my unconscious could construct someone else instead of this parasocial mess.

6. I’ve got two assignments left to turn in, but but then I can focus on other things, once I determine what they are. Writing fanfiction, probably. Maybe getting some exercise. Should probably try to make some local friends, go into the city.

Whff. Okay. Kind of an eventful week here in RKHville.

[botanicials]

wish this was the full part, but here is a sneak peak of falling in love at a coffee shop. the first few rough paragraphs. coming soon! littles will be posted until then ❣️

falling in love at a coffee shop

i. (sneak peak!)

October 13

The cold NYC wind is forgiving for once, all things considered. You had just spent your evening watching over seven sugar high eight-year-olds that had decided finger painting was the ideal after school activity. It was laborious at times and their parents probably weren’t too pleased, but the kids were happy.

Your phone is warm against your cheek as you walk, owing to the Disney Favorites playlist you were asked to play- and Eloise skipping nearly every song that wasn’t sung by Elsa or Moana. Your mother’s words are insistent in your ear: plane tickets, dinners, graduation details.

“It isn’t for another… what? Four months? We’ll figure it out.”

You hear your mother sigh. “I’d rather plan everything out now, the end of the year brings me enough stress as is.”

“It-“

“And what is it with your graduation ceremony being in January? Such an odd time. I mean, right after the holidays? Don’t they realize we might want a bit of a break?”

You laugh lightly at that, eyes spotting the familiar rusting sign hanging up ahead. “Um, has to do with my hours and the kids’ semester ending. I don’t know. Tickets should be cheaper, they usually are after Christmas.”

“Suppose that’s a positive.”

“Definitely a positive- I’ll call you later, I’m grabbing some food so I can hurry up and get home. There's an apron covered with paint in my bag and I’m convinced it’ll stain everything I have inside.”

You begin to unwrap your scarf from your neck as you near closer to the mahogany red door, turning to push it open with your side. “You put an apron covered in paint in your bag?” She sounds incredulous.

“It’s rolled, mom. I’ll call you later.” You repeat.

“Soon.” She says, and you hum before finally ending the call.

A gust of warm air hits the chilled skin of your face when you enter, along with the strong aroma of brewing coffee and a hint of vanilla. You move quickly to close the door behind you, not wanting to disturb anyone with the reality of what they’d have to endure once they leave.

“Welcome in.”

Your eyes follow over to the voice that called out, to catch him take a quick glance at you before turning to meet your eyes again.

He’s not much taller than the familiar college students that work here, but judging from his shoulders, his build is clearly much larger. Atop his wool baby blue sweater is a- definitely used -burgundy apron you’ve seen time and time again. Who you haven’t seen, however, is him.

Once his eyes flicker to the new customer in front of him and back to you, you realize that you’d completely ignored his greeting. And hadn’t moved from the door?

You find yourself sending a clumsy smile before moving across the hardwood floors to stand in line behind the short balding man repeating his order.

Your phone is in your hand a moment later, needing a distraction as to not ogle at the pretty green-eyed barista any longer. Your thumb instinctively lands on Instagram, as much as you wish it hadn’t.

A selfie of an old friend from high school.

A photo of someone’s newborn. The third you’d seen this month.

The conventional food flat lay.

You hear the man in front of you make a second order of two dozen bagels for a big meeting tomorrow morning. “Hoping for a promotion,” he says, a clear smile in his voice. You silently wish him the best. With bagels from Coldwell’s, he was bound to make a good impression.

You’ve been coming here since the beginning of your junior year, finding the cozy café to be a home away from home. You’d discovered it after moving out of your dorm, it was an unmistakable upgrade from the campus coffee shop you were forced to visit every morning.

Thick floor to ceiling windows on one wall, exposed brick and a menu on another; coupled with the bulbous string lights, numerous plants hanging from the ceiling and perched on shelves with the occasional vintage record. 

There were unspoken sections inside; couches and low tables for group study sessions, a line of comfy booths along the back for brunches and dates, a few tables with mismatched wooden chairs for those who’d rather spend some time alone. It was always clean and well kept, and during Christmas, it smelled of nutmeg.

Depending on which barista had their phone connected to the speakers, the shop was either playing Spotify’s Chill Lofi Study Beats or smooth jazz, both welcomed by the regulars that filtered in day-to-day.

You hear the last drop of the bagel slicer when your phone buzzes faintly. Milo: We should go for breakfast one morning. When are you free? :)  That message alone was enough for you to stuff your phone into your bag. Jesus Christ.

You watch the man’s scuffled loafers as he makes his way out, the arm free from two large boxes lifting to wish his barista a good night. Speaking of, he’s got a welcoming grin on his face when you step to the counter. There was no doubt he was recalling your odd entrance.

“Hello.”

His eyes are bright, they remind you of a dewy morning in a garden - and you wish you were in the right state of mind to watch him the way he was watching you. “Hi, um”, your eyes fly up to the menu as if you weren’t sure of exactly what you were getting. “Are you still selling those bottled fruit drinks? I usually get them in the morning.”

“The Pressed ones? Got a few in the back but I’ll grab one for you. What flavor?” You take a second to inwardly scold yourself for focusing too hard on the way he’d flavor, there was no second-guessing on whether he had an accent or not from moments ago.

“Blackberry,” you say, sending a small smile.

He taps at the screen of the POS, his lips tucked into his mouth as you reach into your bag for your wallet.

Not there. No. Not that pocket either.

You frown.

“So, a blackberry Pressed, anything else?”

Your head is nearly inside of your purse as you move your belongings around, cautious of smearing Crayola paint anywhere. “Please, a blueberry um...”, you flip the apron to stick out a bit and allow you more room to see, careful not to squeeze it too hard, “bagel?”

A beat of silence.

“You sure?”

Your head snaps back up to find the barista- Harry, his name tag reads, it suits him -smiling at you, teasing.

You laugh at yourself a bit before buttoning your bag closed. Your wallet was nowhere to be found; which would frighten you if you hadn’t already left it in the classroom twice this week. “Yes-. Yeah, sorry my brain is like, fried from studying.”

“No, yeah totally get it,” he says. Tot-ally.

You find yourself contemplating on whether you should tell him to completely scrap your order or give in and finally figure out how ApplePay works. He scratches at his chin. “Erm.. cream cheese?”

You have some at home. “No, thank you.”

He nods and you take a glance at the tiny hoop earring that catches in the overhead light as he does. You’re just about to resume digging in your bag to check one more time, when he surprises you by saying something that isn’t your total. “What are you majoring in?”

You readjust. “Education. I want to teach 3rd grade.”

“Do you?” His smile is wide and you notice the dimples that sink into his cheeks. Because of course, the guy has dimples.

His genuine happiness takes you by surprise and you laugh. “Yeah, I graduate this year. Well- hopefully. Still have to pass my finals.”

He’s still tapping at the POS- definitely taking much longer than normal, but you don’t mind. Thankfully you had nowhere to be for once.

“M’sure you’ll do great.” You smile, despite the fact that his eyes were still on the screen in front of him. “I um, I graduated just last year,” he looks up to see your eyebrows rise in question. “Film.”

“Film?” you repeat. “I.. Honestly, I can see that.” The earring, the eyes, his style. It made sense.

Tap. Tap. You catch the price going down.

“That because I’m working at a coffee shop?”

“That- What? No, no. I-“

He lets out a boyish giggle and shakes his head. “Only joking. That was a bit of a dig to us film majors, hm?”

“A little. It just makes sense,” you continue. “You look like a film major.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s a compliment,” you say, and his lips twist to fight a smile.

“I’ll take it,” he says, slipping a glove onto his left hand. Your eyes immediately take notice of the cross etched next to his thumb. “Total comes out to $3.21. I’ll go grab your-“

“You didn’t have to do that.” You’ve ordered this countless times, and though Anne let you have your things for free when no one else was around, it’s always come out to $6.78.

Harry only frowns, shaking his head. Don’t worry about it. “I’ll go grab your drink.”

“Sure. Thank you.”

The second he disappeared into the kitchen  you’ve seen so little of, you quickly lift your wrist to try and figure out how this stupid watch worked.

You told yourself to test this out at some point, but you just haven’t had the time. The pad of your figure taps and swipes against the tiny screen, nothing screaming pay with me!

Not that app.

Not that one either.

Had you even set it up?

You hear the door smack lightly against the wall. “Alright here’s- oh,” Harry stumbles upon return, eyebrows drawn together. “Did the card not work? There’s a chip at the bottom-“

“No, I was- I left my wallet at work and I’m trying to..” You point at the card reader. “Does this have Apple Pay?”

His eyes flicker between your watch and the reader before nodding. “Yeah, you’ve just got to..” he leans over the counter a bit and his hand hovers over yours. “May I?”

With confirmation, his nimble fingers press lightly into the inside of your wrist, tilting it toward the reader. His touch is soft- he’s excessively gentle despite only adjusting your hand. He moves his thumb to double click a button on the side of your device, the palm of his hand brushing the side of yours.

The both of you look up at one another, eyes meeting in much closer proximity than any time tonight.

You can’t possibly pick up a guy at a coffee shop. Right?

Ding!

You look down at your wrist that’s still in his hold, your tiny screen now displaying a successful checkmark.

He swiftly pulls his hand away, the gloved one quickly grabbing your bagel as the other grabbed a waxed baggie. “Sorry-“

“No, thank you.” You can’t help but let out a clumsy laugh at the moment the two of you just shared. Silly, you think to yourself.

“To go, yeah?”

“Please.”

He smiles, eyes focused on the screen before the printer hums to life and begins to spit out your receipt.

You watch as he works the bagel slicer and toaster without conscious thought, large hand pulling off his glove before taping the flimsy paper to the front of the bag. He’s sliding your items over to you to grab when you speak once more.

“And thank you again, for the discount.”

He only shakes his head, lips turning down into a funny looking frown. “Don’t worry about it, really. Good luck on finals.”

You smile gratefully, managing to hold your juice and bagel in one hand as you make your way back over to the door. “Thank you! Have a good night.”

“Bye, love you—“ He practically chokes on his own spit, turning quickly to cough steadily into the crook of his elbow.

You were halfway out of the door when you heard him, and now you stare, amused as the cold wind nips at the left side of your face. “Love me?”

“I-“ His nose crinkles, and he coughs one last time. “Sorry, I-“ You watch as he visibly relaxes once his focus is back on you and not on trying to breathe correctly. 

Your head is tilted to the side, an obvious glint in your eye.

He lets out a breathy laugh before trying to continue. “I don’t-” Your eyebrows rise as he stumbles. “- love you. I just- I say it to friends a lot and I guess it… slipped? I don’t know-“

“I’m teasing.” You call out over the wind that blows through as you push the door open wider. You can’t help but laugh to yourself as you move to leave. “Don’t worry. Bye, Harry.”

[archxvxd]

Heather

Inspiration: The song Heather by Conan Gray

Pairing: Kuroo x Reader, Kenma x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Insecurity, Toxicity, my shit writing😀

Word count: 4.8k

A/N: Hiya!! Honestly not sure how I really feel about this one. It was definitely self indulgent bc I’ve been OBSSESSED with this song lately. The ending went a little different than I intended. I hope you all enjoy <33

P.S ~ I tried really hard to make this gender neutral so if I missed anything or slipped up somewhere please lmk and I’ll fix it right away!!

You still remember that night like it was yesterday. It was the 3rd of December. You were in your first year of college, Kuroo in his last. Kenma was there too. But he was being his usual quiet self and even left early that night.

You all had gotten into The University of Tokyo coming out of Nekoma. During your first year at Nekoma High, you were asked to be the manager of the boys VBC. Having played Volleyball in middle school but suffered from a knee injury your doctor advised a break from any sports, you quickly accepted, still wanting to be involved with the sport one way or another. That’s where you met the odd pair. It took you by surprise that the intimidating looking VBC captain was actually a big ol’ softy and that his best friend was none other than the quiet and antisocial setter, Kenma Kozume.

You were like their baby sibling. Always needing their protection whether you wanted it or not. Nothing much changed when the oldest graduated. He would always meet up with the 2 of you after classes, often walking you home. When it was just you left at Nekoma it was still the same thing. The two boys would meet you at the gates of school and walk you home before heading back to the campus dorms.

The day you graduated the 3 of you celebrated with a trip to Miyagi to visit your friends from Karasuno and party. A few of them had gotten into The University of Tokyo themselves and would soon become your classmates instead of rivals.

Fast forward back to December 3rd of your first semester of college. It was Thursday night. Tradition stood that you, Kenma and Kuroo always spent the afternoon/evening after a long week of classes together. You were all fortunate enough to be supported by your parents so you didn’t have to worry about part time jobs.

It was a chilly night, more so than you expected it to be. Kenma had just left, mumbling something about needing to edit and post a video to his YT channel. You and Kuroo bid the gamer a goodnight but stay out. Neither one of you were quite ready to call it a night just yet. Spending time alone with just Kuroo had always made you a bit nervous. You didn’t know why, you had known the man for almost four years now. It’s not like his company is a foreign concept to you, it was just usually accompanied by Kenma. In all honesty you really knew what it was but you never let yourself entertain the idea.

But that night was different. The moment Kenma left the whole vibe changed. The aura went from light to tension filled. You immediately began to wring your hands together as the two of you sat on a bench at the park closest to the dorms and Kuroo’s apartment. There was supposed to be a meteor shower that night. You had seen a handful of shooting stars but nothing tremendous yet. You were starting to feel disappointed after looking forward to this all month and still not getting the shower you imagined. I mean you’re an astronomy major for God’s sake. You get extra credit in 2 of your classes if you come into class next week with proof you watched the meteor shower.

You huff as another wave of shivering wracks through your body. Your shivering doesn’t go unnoticed. Kuroo has always had a sharp sense for little details and your shivering was no exception. He took a glance at you from the corner of his eye, trying to be as subtle as possible. You’re wearing a long sleeve thermal and a thin jacket.

“Baka, why didn’t you wear more layers?” Lucky for you, Kuroo, under his hoodie and thicker jacket, was wearing a thermal under a long sleeve. So he didn’t mind shedding a layer to share it with you.

You pout at the rooster haired man with a red nose and chattering teeth. “I- d-didn’t realize it w-was gonna be thi-s cold-d.”

Kuroo pulls off his old VBC hoodie that has the word “captain” and “Kuroo” right underneath written in small lettering on the breast and hands it to you. You stare at it for a moment too long. “C’mon. Take it. You need it way more than I do right now.”

You huff but take the sweater anyway. Kuroo chuckles.

“Thanks.” You mumble while taking off your jacket and pull the sweater on. It’s warm from Kuroo’s body heat and it smells of cinnamon, like him. You sigh in satisfaction as you put your jacket back on. “Thanks, Tetsu.”

“You already said that. Plus, it looks better on you than it does on me anyways.” He shrugs but the blush that creeps onto his cheeks doesn't go unnoticed by you. You’re a little stunned by his words. Sure, Kuroo has complimented you before but never on your appearance. That always seemed to be something that he steered clear of and now you know why. Your heart skips a beat before quickening from his simple yet loaded words.

You look at the large man with shining eyes and mouth slightly agape. When he looks back at you he swears the whole earth stops turning for a moment. He could cry from how adorable you look in his sweater. Practically swimming in the large piece of fabric. He doesn't know what it is about you lately, but he’s been noticing that ever since you graduated, maybe even a little before that, there was something about you that made you a constant thought in his mind. He finds himself thinking, more often than not, about how soft your lips look or how you would feel in his arms.

Those very thoughts were flooding Kuroo’s mind at that very moment in time and he realized a little too late that he had been leaning in closer to you while thoughts of you ran rampant in his distracted mind. You had noticed it. His slow descent to close the space between the two of you. The way his head dipped so that you two were eye level, the slightly glazed over look in his hazel orbs meaning he was overthinking something.

You let your voice squeak out in the form of a question. “Uh… Kuroo? What’s wrong?”

The large man snaps out of his reverie and stares shocked at just how close you are. He licks his lips, mouth suddenly feeling very dry. Then he makes a split second decision, he’s going to indulge himself and his thoughts for once. He’s going to be impulsive, not think about the possible consequences of his actions.

“Can I try something?” Kuroo’s deep voice comes out low and breathy.

Your heartbeat quickens for the second time tonight and you can’t seem to find your voice, so you simply nod your head. At your silent permission, Kuroo cradles your jaw into his large calloused hand. His face moving further to close most of the space left between your lips. You can feel his warm breath fan over your features. A nervous knot forms in your stomach but your chest is bursting with excitement.

“ ‘M gonna kiss you. That okay?” Hazel meets e/c. He patiently waits for your permission once again. You nod but the cat-like man shakes his head.”I need to hear you say that it’s okay. Please.”

You swallow the lump that’s formed in your throat and clear it away. “Yeah. I- I think I would like that, Testu.”

Kuroo didn’t need any other confirmation. He leaned in the rest of the way and your lips met. The kiss was sweet. It wasn’t long or particularly passionate. But… it was nice. His lips were slightly chapped from the cold weather but still soft and warm. He knew how to apply the right amount of pressure too, just enough to let you know his actions were meant. When it’s over you barely separate from each other. Surrounded by a cloud of your warm breath, Kuroo Chuckles.

You hum dazed, waiting for him to say something. “Didn’t realize I wanted to do that so bad. I hope that was okay?”

You steal a glance into Kuroo’s eyes. His gaze is steady and earnest. But still, somehow, something feels slightly off. “Neither did I.” You mumble in response.

The rest of that night was spent in each other’s arm stealing kisses and glances from one another. It was almost perfect.

Almost.

After that night, the two of you spent more time together alone. Kuroo would casually kiss you on the lips or even makeout with you here and there when you two were in situations where Kenma wasn’t there,when you were alone. But if Kenma was there he would keep his distance. This went on for the rest of your first year.

You let the seed of hope that was planted that first night you kissed, grow into a certain type of adoration that was held only for romantic partners. You cared for Kuroo in a much deeper way now than you had before. You had always found the large man attractive sure, but you found your other best friend, Kenma, attractive as well. You were never directly attracted to them. Until now. It felt like your attraction to Kuroo coursed through your veins and traveled throughout your entire being. Each day you spent alone with him brought you closer to thinking the two of you could be more than friends.

Second year of college was when everything changed. You and Kenma had a computer science class together. You were minoring in it. You wanted to create programs that tracked the stars and planets and you knew that if Astronomy didn’t work out, as it often didn’t, computer programming was an easy career to get into and something you actually quite enjoyed.

Lucky enough Kuroo had a class next door to yours at around the same time as you two so you all decided that you would walk to and from that last class of the day together. It was the end of the first day of classes that you saw the shift. You and Kenma were let out of class early for the first day and sat directly outside, waiting for Kuroo. His class was let out early as well so you didn’t have to wait long. You watch the students all shuffle out, eagerly awaiting the presence of your point of attraction. When his tall frame finally appears in the doorway it was accompanied by a much smaller one.

She’s smiling at Kuroo with brilliantly white and straight teeth. Her lips are full and naturally pink. Her stunning smile reaches her large blue eyes, which are sparkling with genuine interest. Her cheeks are dusted with a rosy tone, letting you know that she’s interested in Kuroo. Then you notice Kuroo. His smile is wide and there’s this look in his eyes that you’ve never quite seen before. The two stand off to the side, not even noticing the pair waiting for the dark haired student. You observe them as the girl laughs at something Kuroo said and her whole being lights up brighter than the blue sky. Your stomach drops when her hand lightly falls onto Kuroo’s shoulder and a blush creeps onto his features.

You feel sick to your stomach. How could you compete with someone like that. She was stunning, gorgeous, beyond pretty. How were you supposed to compare to someone like that? You couldn’t. There was no competition in your mind, she was miles above you and no amount of time would ever allow you to be on the same level as her.

Kenma was doing some observing of his own. He had been for the last 6 plus months. Kenma isn’t stupid and his time playing volleyball as a setter proved that he was actually very sharp and extremely observant. Kenma had seen the way you had started acting around Kuroo and it pissed him off because it was obvious that whatever was going on between the two of you, was one sided. Kuroo had no intention of taking things further with you, at least not anytime soon. But still, the large man was spending a lot more alone time with you than he had previously in your 4 year long friendship.

Kenma watched with his blood boiling as your heart began to crack and it made him want to punch Kuroo right in his face. The idiot still hadn’t noticed the two of you. He was in his own little world with this strange girl. He was totally oblivious to the shattering of one of his best friend’s hearts.

Having had enough, Kenma calls out to the rooster idiot. “Kuroo. We’re leaving. You can come if you want but I’m sick of waiting.”

Kuroo gave you two a look of shock, it was clear that he was just noticing you two for the first time since walking out of his classroom. “Ah. Uh- yeah. Just give me one sec, yeah?”

Kenma crosses his arms over his chest in annoyance but doesn’t move. You both watch as numbers are exchanged between the two classmates. Then the girl turns to the both of you. “Sorry for stealing your friend from you. I didn’t realize you were waiting for him. If I had, I would’ve cut the conversation short. Thanks for being so patient. Bye Kuroo. I’ll talk to ya later. Bye Kuroo’s friends.” With another heart stopping smile and wiggle of her fingers the stunning girl walks off.

Kuroo watches her form disappear before granting you his attention. He didn’t even have the decency to look embarrassed. He smiled widely but you noticed very quickly that he wouldn’t meet your gaze. For the rest of the day Kuroo spoke about his new friend and didn’t once look you in the eye.

Over the next few weeks Kuroo found every excuse to either bring Kenma along to hangout with the two of you or to not hangout at all. He wouldn’t shut up about the girl in his class. You had learned that her name was Heather. She was studying abroad from America but her father was born in Tokyo, Japan and lived here until he was 18 years old. So she spoke fluent Japanese with little to no accent. She was also very sweet and as much as you wanted to, you just couldn’t bring yourself to hate her.

Heather became a constant after that. She was now a friend too. Kenma got along with her but he was still reserved around her for your sake. In all honesty Kenma didn’t care for her. But he knew that she had to be special to Kuroo if he was willing to do whatever it is he did to you for this Heather girl. So, Kenma forces himself to play nice. The gamer has always had an extremely soft spot for you. He couldn’t quite explain it, he’s never been very good with emotions but he did know that you were extremely special to him.

Everything came to an all time low a few months after adjusting to life with Heather in it. You were all meeting up at Kuroo’s for a movie night. You decided to go a little early to get some things off your chest with Kuroo. You missed the friendship you had with him before everything and wanted to at least clear the air so he could stop avoiding you. You knocked on the door softly and waited a few minutes before knocking again, a bit louder this time. You heard a noise come from inside. Worried for your friend you fish out the spare key he gave you for emergencies and enter his apartment.

A big mistake. The second you enter, the whole apartment is filled with the sound of skin slapping on skin and strangled moans of Kuroo’s name falling from a familiar silky voice. Heather. They were here, in Kuroo’s apartment, having sex right before movie night. You’re frozen in place with your hand still stuck on the door handle. You’re slow to process what’s happening but the second it all settles in you feel the familiar sting of tears welling up in your eyes. You refuse to let them fall until you get the hell out of here. Quietly leaving the way you came in, you cross the threshold of Kuroo’s apartment leading to the hallway of the building. It takes everything in you not to slam the door shut. You don’t want to alert the couple that someone had heard what they were doing.

The moment you have the door shut you run. You almost make it to the entrance without encountering anyone but then you run into someone, causing you to lose your footing and fall on your ass.

“Y/N?” Kenma’s soft voice breaks through the fog of your brain.

You look up at faux blonde as you finally let the tears stream down your cheeks and neck. “Kenma-”

You sob. Unable to get any other words out you reach out to him like he’s your lifeline and he takes you in his arms. “Let’s go.” It’s all he needs to say. He leads you to his car, knowing full well that you walked here from the dorms less than a mile away. Trusting Kenma 100%, you stay silent and let him take you to wherever it is he’s going, assuming his apartment.

Your assumption is right as you pull into the familiar parking garage. You pull out your phone which has been buzzing with messages in your pocket. You check and see it’s Kuroo, Heather and Kenma in the groupchat.

You hadn’t realized while reading, Kenma had gotten out and went around the car to open your door for you. The second he sees your screen he sighs. Gently, he takes your phone from out of your grasp and tucks it into his pocket. “You don’t need to read that right now.”

He’s right of course. You’re still a mess. You have tears streaming down your face, your nose is red and runny, and your eyes are puffy and red. Your sweater sleeves are wet from rubbing away your tears. You can’t even imagine what other people would think of you if they saw you right now. Crying over a guy that was never really yours? How pathetic. You think to yourself.

Kenma tugs you out of your seat and shuts the car door behind you. The gamer doesn’t let go of your hand until you get into his apartment. Even then, he only lets go of your hand to hold you in his arms on his bed while he lets you stain his sweater with fresh tears. You’re not sure how long you stay like that but it’s dark out by the time you calm down.

Kenma was furious. At one point he began to cry himself. Words could not describe what Kenma wants to do to Kuroo for causing this. The two of them were supposed to protect you from heartbreak like this. Yet here you were sobbing, pouring your broken heart and soul out in the form of tears, because Kuroo had strung you along and tossed you aside when he’d found something he liked better.

You whimper a few times before going silent. Your face is buried in Kenma’s now very wet chest while you fist his sweater pocket. You let yourself just breathe a few times before forming coherent thoughts. The first words to stumble out of your mouth are raspy and barely audible. But Kenma hears them nonetheless.

“ ‘M sorry.” It’s slurred and you hiccup immediately afterward, drunk from the dehydration caused by your prolonged crying.

Kenma’s grip on you tightens. “You have nothing to be sorry about.”

You whimper in response. He’s right of course. Logically, you shouldn’t be the one apologizing. But in your mind it was your fault for letting yourself fall for one of your best friends in the first place, when you felt- knew- nothing would come of it.

Kenma sighs sadly. “ You need to eat something. I’ll order a pizza while you take a bath. It’ll help. You can borrow one of my hoodies and a pair of underwear. I’ll wash what you’re wearing so you can put it back on in the morning. You know where everything is.”

You nod your head and slowly make your way to the bathroom. Kenma was right, funny enough, a bath is exactly what you needed in that very moment. You wash away the now crusted over salty tear stains from your eyes and cheeks and mucus stains from under your nose. Your eyes are tired and still pink rimmed and puffy but other than that, you look much better than you did when you first entered the bath. You take a moment to just relax in the steaming hot water before getting out and towel dry yourself. You wrap the towel around your body to keep your modesty and exit the bathroom. You can hear Kenma ordering food in the living room. You're thankful that he was giving you your privacy. Not even chancing the sight of you in a towel.

Luck for you, Kenma has a surplus of oversized clothes. He’s always expressed how oversized hoodies and shirts just make him feel more comfortable in his skin. You pull on a pair of Kenma’s boxer briefs and let yourself get swallowed by what you thought was a plain black hoodie. At second glance you notice the white B on the left sleeve cuff and the hood. You smile to yourself. Grateful that your longtime best friend has been so successful in life. This hoodie being a reminder of that very success.

You keep the hood up and trudge over to the living room where you find Kenma quietly sitting on the couch, hands clapped together with his cell in between them. Kenma is slouched over with his elbows resting on his knees and chin resting on his fingertips, he seems to be in deep thought. You clear your throat and Kenma’s eyes immediately shoot up to you.

“Sorry. Was just thinking ‘bout something. Pizza should be here soon. How was the bath? Made you feel better?” Kenma still seems distracted but his attention is on you.

“Yeah. The bath was nice. Thanks for letting me borrow some clothes. What were you thinking ‘bout?”

“What happened with Kuroo?” Kenma takes a deep breath almost as if he’s calming himself down. “And I don’t just mean today. I mean what’s been going on the 6 months before Heather that led to what happened today.”

You sigh. You let a few moments pass to gather your thoughts before spilling everything to Kenma. You tell him about the first night, after he had left. Then what had been happening the 6 months after. Kenma listens intently. He feels himself becoming increasingly angry with himself and with Kuroo. They both let this happen. Kuroo directly and Kenma indirectly by not saying anything.

“I thought we… I thought there was something there and then Heather just wedged her way in. I-I can’t even bring myself to hate her, Kenma.” You send the faux blonde a sad smile while smoothing your hand over your head and let it rest at the back of your head. “She’s just so sweet and perfect. She’s such an angel. But then again, kinda wish she were dead. And that makes me feel like shit. I’m such a terrible person for feeling like that. The worst part is she hasn’t even done anything to me. It’s not her. I should be mad at Kuroo. I should hate Kuroo. But I jus-”

You breathe in a shaky and shallow breath before continuing. “I can’t. He’s one of my best friends but I feel like I'm losing him even as a friend. I get it. I get that we weren’t meant to be. I’m fine with that. The thing is he’s been acting so cold towards me ever since she came into the picture. I don’t know what to do! He won’t even let me talk to him! I went over early today because I wanted- needed to talk to him! I needed to clear the air between us! But instead I walked into his apartment and heard him having sex with Heather!” You wipe at your eyes with the sleeves of the sweater Kenma has loaned you. You become increasingly irritated with yourself. Why did this have you so worked up? You weren’t even that broken about it anymore. You truly thought you were moved on from this. But the thought of Kuroo being intimate with someone else without so much as just talking with you snapped something inside of you.

“I thought… I thought he respected me more than that. I get that I’m not even half as pretty as her. I get that I’m not as good of a match for him. I get that he’ll never be in love with me. But before whatever the fuck we had going on started, we were friends. As his friend I deserve to be respected. Right, Kenma? Am I wrong?” You feel desperation rising up from your chest like bile. Your word-vomit spewing out without reason. You’re not even paying attention to what you’re saying. But Kenma is. He’s holding on to every word like his life depends on it.

You’re ready to continue but Kenma can’t bear the thought of you voicing any more doubtful thoughts you have of yourself, so he faces you completely and carefully but authoritatively holds your face in his hands. “Ken-”

“Stop. I- just stop. Kuroo is a dumbass. We’ve known that for years. But this a new level of idiocy. And you. Stop that, stop putting yourself down. You’re the most beautiful human being I have ever laid eyes on and Kuroo is intelligently inept if he can’t fucking see that. She is not prettier than you, she is not smarter than you- Hell she’s not even as good of company as you are.” Kenma didn’t expect to be this affected by your words, but he was. He couldn’t stand the fact that you thought you were inferior to anyone because that’s not at all how he sees you.

“Kenma…” You whisper. You had never in your 4 years of knowing him hear him speak this way. He was always reserved, calm and quiet but right now he was the stark opposite. He was tugging on his hair, voice raised, and eyes wild with desperation.

“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. Didn’t do anything about you and Kuroo. I just let it happen. I should’ve done something or at the very least been there to support you. And god I wish I was better with words, I wish I could tell you- show you how I see you because in my eyes you’re the one that makes everyone else look inferior. You’re the one that has the brightest smile and eyes. The one that has a personality to rival.The one that I… I adore.”

Suddenly it hit you. You knew what Kenma was trying to tell you but didn’t know how to quite express it. How did you not see it? Kenma was always so kind to you and treated you with the utmost respect. To you that was just Kenma, that was who he was, but it really wasn’t. Kenma is blunt and won’t tell you what you want to hear but what you need to hear. Kenma doesn’t like people but he likes you. He frequently bashes Kuroo but frequently compliments you. All the little things he does for you suddenly feel huge coming from Kenma because.... He doesn’t do that for anyone else.

You stare incredulously at your successful friend. He’s blushing and won’t meet your eyes. “Kenma- I never realized…” You laugh nervously and that catches Kenma’s attention. “ I guess I shouldn’t have been so focused on Kuroo this whole time. Am I too late? Did I mess it up?”

Kenma chuckles softly and takes your face into his hold once again, this time a lot softer. “No. You didn’t mess anything up.”

You smile genuinely for the first time in months. “Good. I might need a little more time and to speak with Kuroo, for closure, but if you're willing…” You gaze up at Kenma through your lashes silently pleading with him.

“I’ve waited for you this long, What’s a little more time?”