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#and now i am loved and i’m still crying because he just captures the experience in such a uniquely profound way
rebornrosess · 1 year
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i know it’s been said a million times but hozier truly writes some of the most beautiful love songs out there that just cover every aspect of the experience of love, from longing to be loved, aching to be loved, the ecstasy of being loved, the pain of being loved, the pang of grief and the love that remains. i know digital archives are a thing but i like to imagine that there will be historians who will discover them in hundreds of years and pore over them like we have with 16th century sonnets and cry over his love songs like we do now.
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eveningepiphany · 11 months
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welcome to the final show | H.S oneshot
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my masterlist!
summary: you take a beautiful sign to the final show and have the sweetest interaction with harry. then somehow bump into him in italy 2 days later.
warnings: nothing but fluff, and a few little mentions of how he saved your life!
a/n: i am so fucking proud of h. i want to give him a hug more than anything. this is for all my lovelies who love hslot so fckn much it makes them ill.
also this is such an unrealistic oneshot but like that’s just the way for it ig
———
There’s a certain type of atmosphere that comes around once and a while. It’s rare.
It’s one that no matter how many photos or videos you take, you can’t capture it. One that no word has enough emotional range behind it to convey the feeling it opens up in you.
That is the only way to get close to even describe standing where you are.
You can’t lie, you had waited hours upon hours in the Italian sun just to feel the warm metal of the barricade underneath your palms.
You’d waited years just to get here in general.
When you turn your head to look behind you, you see tens of thousands of people there. Going from visible, overwhelmingly happy faces to a sea of tiny dots.
But you’re here. At the front.
You smile because you made it. This has, albeit dramatic, been a home to you over the past 2 years.
A creature comfort. One you followed every step of the way. And somehow you can’t believe you made it here, and neither would the girl back 18 months ago watching a pixelated Instagram livestream.
Standing in your outift, which took more rhinestones and glitter than you could ever have kept track of.
But you shined under the sun like a mirrorball, so it all felt worth it. Even though you swear there’s still glue stuck under your nails.
Your friends around you shared water, staying hydrated as the show starting neared. Wetleg had already preformed their final set. And tears had been randomly springing on you all day.
You heard the power in the crowd as they sung the prelude songs, goosebumps dotting over your body as you realise he’s probably able to hear it now.
Soon enough he’ll be looking at it. In all of its 100,000 people glory.
“You okay lovely?” Sofia, an Italian girl you’d met in the line checked in on you.
You nodded with a heartfelt smile. The whole experience was so bittersweet. Full of lasts.
“I’m okay. Just so so proud.” You nodded and she softly chuckles.
Her outfit was an electric blue that contrasted her tan skin, “I have some granola bars in my bag if you’re hungry? You should eat, we’ve been standing in the heat all day.”
Your best friend from your other side peered over, drawn back into conversation after being lost in the magic of the crowd surrounding her.
“On cry number— let me guess— 24 of the day?” She said it teasingly.
“Saying that as if you don’t already have mascara stains half down your face.” You grumble back jokingly, leaning your head back to look at the pastel blue sky.
You turned back to Sofia, “We’ll save them for after, maybe lay down on the ground and eat them or something.”
You only said no because you felt like you could probably be sick right now.
“Amore sciocco, troppo testardo il tuo bene, mio dio.” She mutters under her breath with a laugh, shaking her head at you disapprovingly.
“Trash talking her again in Spanish. God I wish I knew how to speak it.” You elbow your best friend at her quip.
You could stay in this moment forever.
As Bohemian Rhapsody begins playing you watch the sun go down, and in this very moment, It is your forever.
You live and breathe every second of it. All the way into peace piece, and as you’re gripping the girls around you for dear life as the lights start to dim along with the setting sun.
Harry coming has the arena screaming so loud it would have been heard for miles. He looks beautiful.
Like a shiny star up on stage. Blowing kisses and sending thank you’s to as many areas of the crowd be possibly could.
Mouthing words in Italian, causing Sofia to almost pass out beside you she screeched that hard the first time he did it.
And him counting in Golden with their language, speaking proudly into the mic— “Uno, due— uno, due, tres!”
“HES— WHAT THE FUCK!!” You’re laughing, holding her hand as she shouts frantically.
Songs bleed into one after another, going on your part from embarrassing screaming and dancing onto equally embarrassing crying.
The overwhelming feeling of seeing him so close— so damn close you can see each individual sequin on his silver outfit when his on the main stage at his mic stand in the centre.
You don’t even realise he’s doing a sign reading interlude until Sofia hands you yours from where it leant on the bottom of the barricade at your feet.
You were enamoured by him.
Taking the sign, your hands shook a little as he was on the main stage. Right in front of you.
His eyes are scanning the crowd, glancing over some signs and smiling.
“We have a choice tonight,” he begins, voice echoing through the speakers.
“we can either move quickly through signs, in which case, we’ll be able to give you some more songs!” An array of screams come from everyone, and you feel sick just at the prospect he was suggesting. The fact he could pull out any song.
He chuckles, walking further towards the area of the pit where you are, “Just an idea, just an idea!”
You’re pretty sure the girls are yelling something about him walking over, but you’re stunned at what’s happening overall, and you can’t even process what they’re saying.
But contradictory to what he’d just said. He stops a moment.
From his perspective, he saw a handful of very bright colours in the front of the crowd. One holding up an equally eye catching sign.
But he takes a moment to blink, focus in on the person holding it.
This girl has her eyes locked dead onto him, like as if he moves an inch— something could implode at any moment. Yet it somehow comes across in a flattering way.
And then he reads the sign.
‘you saved me. i cant thank you enough for that. BTW…’
His heart immediately pangs. Already too emotional at this whole event to be reading a sign like that.
You are in shock. Because he certainly just made eye contact with you and he’s been staring at your sign for a few good seconds.
“Can— wait can you turn that for me, love?” His voice falters a little.
As if Harry Styles just asked you to do something, you move with a haste you never had.
However you misinterpreted his question, turning the sign clockwise like as if it was upside down. Feeling a little embarrassed in yourself that it was around the wrong way.
He chuckles into the mic, causing a small uproar at the softness of it.
“Wrong way, it has B-T-W on it so I’m assuming there’s more on the back.”
“Oh, god— sorry!” You shout out to him, it sounding a little shaky, and you can’t lie that tears were threatening to spill from your eyes.
You had waited so fucking long to have a chance to tell him that he genuinely saved your life. And you’re finally doing it.
Also spinning the sign so the back of it is facing him, and his eyes flit gently over it too.
‘you have by far the prettiest smile ever.’ It reads, with a few large red hearts around it, decorated with glitter and rhinestones.
A dimple pops out on his cheek and he covers his mouth with a hand, flattered as ever.
“Why thank you.” He does a little bow as well, and you’re laughing out of shock. You’re interacting with him right now.
He straightens up, “I’m flattered as ever.” Prodding one of his dimples as he shows off just how pretty his smile is.
“And thank you for coming, it means everything to me.” He flushes a little, laughing at himself and your still starstruck reaction.
“You are stronger than you probably think. What’s your name?”
A tear breaks past your waterline, and you call out, “Y/N!”
Both girls at your side are clutching you like no tomorrow, and Harry takes his in-ear out to hear you better.
You call it out again, he makes only one off guess before he gets it. And your name rolling off his accent tongue makes your stomach flip.
“Y/N? That’s right— well that was a pretty good record for name guessing—“ he laughs, walking over as close as he can to the edge of the stage.
He holds the mic up to his mouth, “make some noise for Y/N everyone!”
You are in complete shock as you hear the whole arena cheer and holler for you, and Harry has this wholesome feeling of adoration wash over him as he sees your reaction.
The tears slipping down your pink cheeks. If he could, he honestly would go down there and wipe them off.
Not something he often find himself thinking. Yet here he is.
“Thank you for coming Y/N. What do you say we do some more songs?” He asks, smiling at the shocked raise of your brows.
“Yes, please.” You enthusiastically reply.
“Alright, you heard her. More songs it is!”
And so the show continues on. The second he breaks eye contact and moves away, a sob tears out of you.
You can’t believe that just happened. And the fact the rest of the show— unless you’re delusional, and making this up in your head— he lingers anytime he’s going past where you are. Catching your eyes, and smiling a little wider.
And you’re absolutely a wreck at the speech he makes, even though Sofia has to translate every word that leaves his mouth.
But if that nearly killed you, the piano ballad was honestly your final straw.
You cried so hard you couldn’t see the fucking stage at one point. And you wish you could say you were embarrassed for him to see you as he did one last round of goodbyes. But you couldn’t.
It was all your love and appreciation for him, poured out of you through the tears streaming down your face.
To your disbelief, he stops in front of you again, blowing a kiss to your friends and then one to you.
Bending down a little further to look at you, lips starting to move— from what your could hardly hear, and mostly got from reading his lips, he said ‘thank you, I love you.”
You blow a kiss back.
And before you know it, the show has ended. And there’s this full, yet hollow feeling inside of you.
Like you’re not sure how to feel. You miss him already, but that was by far the most amazing experience of your life.
You’re overwhelmed, with love and gratitude. And you, Sofia and your best friend end up doing what you’d proposed earlier before the show.
Eating chocolate granola bars with your back up against the barricade, tears still falling from your eyes.
———
Post love on tour depression is a real thing.
There is no normal explanation for having to force yourself to get up to have an amazing brunch in Italy of all places.
But 2 days after the show day, you’re doing just that. Dressing in a nice summer outfit at the very least, and taking your LOT bag with you.
The streets aren’t too busy considering it’s midday, and you make your way through them peacefully. Stoping to peak into stores, or take photos of little things you like every now and again.
And all your adventuring leads you to a beautiful little corner-cafe. One that the second you step foot into, you are comforted by its cozy feel & strong aroma of coffee.
The building itself had all its historic bones, but had been modernised. Fitted with sleek wooden floors and new furniture. Walls painted a crisp white to brighten up the already light filled room.
You find the menu hanging above where the counter is, on large pretty chalkboards.
You’re mulling over what to get when you hear a voice from beside you.
It causes you to jump a little at it’s unexpectedness, “I like your bag.”
It’s said with the tone that you can tell someone is smiling. And you turn to greet the person who had just spoken to you.
That’s when you’re met with a sight that knocks the wind from you.
Beside you— standing tall, with his tousled brown curls and rolled up linen long-sleeve is quite literally the man you saw on stage 2 nights ago.
“Oh my god—“ you jump a little at the realisation, it hitting you like a train within seconds. But you’re trying to keep you voice down, as to not cause some kind of scene.
He laughs at your stunned reaction, the way your ringed hand goes over your mouth. It’s a reaction he’s accustomed to. But the way your pretty features portray the expression has him all the more intrigued.
He does his classic introduction, “Hi, love. I’m harry.” Sticking his hand out, smiling. Like as if you didn’t know.
“I— well I did notice that.” You rush out in a nervous laugh. Glancing around looking for some kind of film camera, gauging if this is a set up and not a coincidence.
You’re left realising it’s just the two of you, and some older guy with a newspaper a few metres away at a window seat.
But no one with a camera or phone out filming this interaction.
You shake his hand after a moment of hesitation, telling yourself mentally you’re not going to cry as your relish the feeling of his calloused fingertips against the base of your wrist.
“Hi…” You flush profusely.
“What are you ordering?” He smiles at you, and your eyes are so obviously darting over his every feature.
Which you feel like you couldn’t stop from happening when he’s this close, and you’re able to fully see the plains of his beautiful face.
The structure of his jawline— that’s dotted with a light stubble—his cupids bow lips, the definition in his cheekbones. And fuck his eyes.
That are very intensely locked onto yours…
“Oh. I’m sorry. I…” you fumble for words a little, “probably like a tea. That’s usually my go to.”
He nods, “let me get it for you, please. How do you have it?”
“No, no. It’s okay, you don’t need to do that.” You insist immediately, because even though the gestures small, it feels like too much.
“Y/N.” He tuts gently.
“Weird that you remember that.” You think aloud, unable to filter the shock at the fact he just said your name. Even though the show was only 2 days ago, when he learnt it.
“Of course I do. You had quite the sign. I won’t lie, it made me tear up a bit.” He laughs, pushing a stray lock of hair out of his eyes.
“Well, It was true. Not to be cheesy or anything, but your music genuinely means everything to me.” You say carefully. Not wanting to come across as weird.
“And love on tour was one of the best experiences of my life. So… thank you for that.”
“Thank you.” He smiled at your shyness. And you recall the fact you told him he had a pretty smile.
Prettiest smile. The fact he knows you think that?
You wonder if he’s thought the same thing at all in the last 5 minutes.
“Your support means as much to me. Wouldn’t be able t’do what I do if it weren’t for people like you.”
“Now, how you have your tea?” He reiterates, asking for an answer, not for another polite declination.
“I— okay. Since it’s clear you’re not going to take no for an answer.” You sigh. Corners of your mouth upturning anyway at his stubborn ways.
You rattle off how you have it, and he nods, mentally noting it down like this is going to be a regular occurrence.
He walks over to the counter and you shuffle over to the side that you’ll pick up the order from. Watching carefully as he goes up, you take in his much more causal appearance to the usual extravagance of the outfits he adorns on stage.
Hes got a pair of denim shorts on—strong legs on display— paired with a white longsleeve that’s rolled up his fore arms.
You avert your gaze to the older Italian man at the register, clueless to who he is serving.
Until a younger girl, say 15, walks from the back room and does the biggest double take youve ever witnessed.
Harry has to be used to it, because there was no way anyone could miss that.
You’re feeling like you’re in a parallel universe. Because Harry is just casually strolling back over to you, like you’ve known each other for more than a total of two, 5 minute interactions.
You take a breath, reminding yourself simply that he is a human. Just like you are. He wakes up in the morning, has bad days and good days, has habits and routines he follows— just like anyone else.
You keep this in consideration as you open your mouth to speak, “Thank you for doing that. How have you been?”
He smiles at your shy tone, a tiny wholesome feeling bubbling up at your question.
“I’m good, honestly. It’s been a big start to the year. I’m excited to take some time off even though wrapping it up the other night was really hard.” He nods, eyes casually trailing the man who was making the drinks.
“If it makes any difference, I was sobbing like a baby at pretty much every point of the show.” You laughed.
“I did see your very tear stained cheeks.” He shocks himself little with his continuation,
“Would’ve jumped down and given you a hug if I had the bloody time.” And he smiles with gratification as you mask your shocked reaction as much as possible. However, tiny little micro-movements in your face were still popping through. “I went a little overtime with the speech.”
Just human to human. You drew a tiny breath through your nose, “Which was great by the way. I mean my friend had to translate the whole thing, but was also another tear jerker.”
He goes to say something else, interrupted by the call of his name from the counter.
In which he collects the drinks from the lovely man, smiling at him with a warm thank you before turning to come back to you.
“Here you go, darling.” He hands over yours, and his green eyes look bright as ever.
The darling makes your stomach flip. He’s British, they use pet names like this in passing conversation often. But fuck if you didn’t know any better you’d think there was a chance he was flirting with you.
“Thank you. You really didn’t have to, but I appreciate it.” You repeat.
“You have a different accent, you’re not from Italy no?” He interjects and you’re a little confused at the sudden change of topic.
“No I’m not from here…?” you laugh.
“So you’ve travelled all this way to come see me I’m assuming, the least I can do is buy you a tea. Think of it as a thank you.”
He tests the waters a little further, “i don’t usually stay in cafes for overly long but, if you have time to sit for a bit…”
“You continue to amaze me.” You chuckle, slowly following behind him as he pulls up a chair, back to the window.
“You also made me a very flattering sign. So im just being courteous, as a way to return the favour.” He smirks almost. And you’re honestly not strong enough to endure this.
“And that little piano thing you did? Is this compensation for my mental health?” You hold the cup up and he lets out a surprised laugh at your gentle quip.
“Yes, I’ve heard word that it came across as emotional as I’d intended.”
“You could hear a pin drop in the whole arena.” You nodded, taking a sip of the tea he’d bought you.
“I was so worried I was gonna fuck it up somehow.” He shakes his head, hand running through his hair as though he was anxious just at the thought.
“It sounded amazing, Harry. Made me feel a lot how fine line did when I first listened to it.”
He looks sincere with gratitude as you talk. And it stays that way as he continues on conversation with you.
You know heaps about him— you’re a fangirl that’s practically your job— yet he doesn’t know anything about you. Leaving him curious about many aspects of your life, and also with plenty of questions. Ones he really can’t believe he is even asking given you’re a fan, and he’s never actually done this before.
Whatever this is, because it felt a lot like a first date. With the way he asked where you were from, who you came to Italy with, where you grew up.
The whole lot. Your drinks both long since finished, but the questions still flowing between you two. Like there was never enough information to be learned.
He was interrupted by a call, and it almost popped this little bubble you’d made around yourselves.
Which possibly wasn’t a bad thing for him. But it served as a reality check for you.
You’re still just a fan at the end of the day. Even though your not sure how that term stands after he knows about your favourite foods, or childhood stories from your younger years. Because you feel like now that he knows that, the dynamic feels different to you.
But most of all you dreaded the fact you had to say goodbye again. But now you have to say it knowing that he walks away from this knowing things personal to you.
You realise he’s on the phone to his mum as he talks, “Yea, tell Gem to grab them anyway… I’ll be back soonish.”
He glances up at your after a moment of brief silence, “I’m just out with a friend of mine I… bumped into. So I’ll see you soon, okay?”
A friend of his?
“Alright, bye, I love you.”
And just like that the phone hung up.
“I’m feeling very special at my label. A friend of yours.” You laugh, but not lying whatsoever.
“Was m’mum. We’re having a late lunch at her BNB.” He explained, and the fact he didn’t object his choice of wording meant even more to you than anything.
You stare at him a moment, both mutually realising that this moment was seemingly going to have to end at some point.
“I don’t often do things like this.” He shrugs, watching your eyes train on random objects around the room as you get lost in thought.
“What do you mean?” You ask.
“Never sat down with a fan and just had a drink. It was lovely, thank you for being so polite.” He smiles again at you.
It surprised him just how far he went with it. But you had this gentle aura about you. He knew of all people, you were safe to share this private slice of himself with.
“Thank you for buying my drink… to have spent this time talking, it— well it meant a lot to me.”
“I would give you my number if my manager wouldn’t kill me.”
As stated, he continues to surprise himself just how far he’s going.
Your brain stalls at his comment.
“You could just have mine? Buy a burner phone and text me off it.” You make the first suggestion that comes to mind and he barks out a laugh.
“Could just reaffirm that you weren’t going to sell my number off to fans on Twitter?”
“Ah, that could also work too.” You nod, raising your brows.
He pulls his phone from his pocket, and your heart genuinely palpitates. Because how the fuck had you managed this.
“Gimmie yours, if you’d like?” He slides it over, and you feel like you’re picking up something with more value than just a phone. I mean it’s Harry Styles’ phone of all things.
You begin to type it in, glancing up as his gaze is trained on you, “how many numbers of fans do you have banked up in here?”
He rolls his eyes at your tease, still smiling, “I’ll have you know you’ll be the first. If my mums counts though, then only two.”
“I just…” he pauses, pursing his lips as he looks for the right words, “knew I’d regret it if I didn’t have a way to get in touch with you. I’d say we’ve got a lot in common and it’s always nice to meet new people. And I don’t want to be thinking later ‘wow, she was lovely, wish I could have kept in touch’. Y’know?”
You send yourself a text, just a simple ‘:)’ so it saves in his recent messages. “Well, I suppose I’d be a little sad too. Probably start sending emails to your manager trying to find a way to get in touch again.”
He laughs at this, standing up from his chair and pocketing his phone in his shorts once you hand it back to him.
You also rise from the table, watching his movements keenly.
“Makes this part less sad.” He says, in reference to the impending goodbye, “I’m not leaving Italy for a little bit though, and if you’re sticking around as well, maybe I can buy your more cups of tea— to make you feel even more guilty about it, of course.”
You let out a soft chuckle, “Yea, I’m not leaving for a little while…”
He walks to your side of the table, not hesitating to pull you into a hug that leaves you winded.
You freeze a millisecond before jumping to embrace it. Enjoying the gentle yet strong feeling of his body holding yours. And the way his hands are ever-so-slightly caressing your lower back.
“Thanks for hanging out, alright? Don’t be shy to message me.” He murmurs into your hair.
“I— okay. I won’t. Thank you, Harry.” You smile into the crook of his neck.
He gives a final squeeze before pulling back. Fighting the internal urge to press a little kiss to your temple.
“I’ll see you around, hopefully. Bye Y/N.” He gives you a final smile before waving goodbye, and heading out the cafe.
Your head is reeling as he exits. Unsure if you just imagined that whole thing. You needed someone to pinch you, because as far as your concerned that whole interaction was something you dreamed up.
You check your phone to see the time.
1:53pm
1 new notification
Unknown Number | :)
So that actually did just happen.
———
To reaffirm that you weren’t the only person in the world to witness what happened today, you see a tweet reposted on an update account that reads,
so, i just saw harry styles in the cafe i work at, and he sat down and drank a tea with someone he talked to at a show. not naming the interaction for privacy but like… what the fuck?
And secretly you smile. Maybe this is something you’ll keep to yourself for a bit. Like he’s a new secret friend of yours.
———
part two!!
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invisible-storyteller · 2 months
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Happy Birthday, Mieczyslaw
Stiles & Claudia (~850 words, gen) Written for @teenwolfrarepairevents April Character of the Month: Stiles Stilinski
“Hey, Mieczyslaw.”
Claudia's smile was worn out and nervous on the TV screen, her messy ponytail and sleep-thirsty eyes depicting a woman who had just returned from a strenuous battle. The excited tapping of her fingers was almost disharmonious with her weary complexion, but the slight accent with which she spoke revealed her exhaustion-mixed anticipation. She looked absolutely beautiful, and so tragically young. 
She had been around Stiles’s age when this message was recorded. It was on the night his parents had taken him home from the hospital 30 years ago, but no one had remembered until they had found the tape among her old stuff while the sheriff was preparing to sell the house. 
Stiles had forgotten how her voice had sounded without the burden of fear and sickness. 
“You must be wondering: Damn, who the fuck is this woman? And okay, I might not have so many wrinkles now - although you did give me a few already -, but I'm not that old, young man, so don't get fresh with me!”
Stiles scoffed, almost not remembering how his mother used to be. Before.
“Anyway, Natalie gave me this sort of idea to create a time capsule, so here I am! Talking to you! Well, actually, talking to myself, 'cause there's no one else here.” Stiles couldn't help but laugh at that. “Hopefully, we’re watching this together.” His smile dimmed instantly. “I like to think that we’ll always have a good relationship, and that in twenty or thirty or whatever years, we’ll be laughing over how awkward and ugly I am on this video, and that I can scold you for calling me ‘ugly’ and say that you’re one to talk, you took after me.”
The image his mother had painted was bittersweet, and Stiles wasn’t sure he had been right in requesting he watched the video alone. But he wanted to cherish everything about her, just the way the camera had captured her, on the day she had become his mother.
“I guess I should talk about how I imagine you as a grown man, but I'll be honest, lisek, I don’t have a single clue.” Claudia laughed a bit self-consciously. “I’m just as young as you are, and I know that I can’t expect you to have it all figured out by the time you turn 20 or even 30. You can be so many things still, and the last thing I want for this message to be is some kind of a manual about what I want you to be. I want you to be nothing but what you already are, Mieczyslaw! Funny and stubborn - because you must have inherited those traits from me - and loyal and smart like your dad. I even bet you're braver than you think, and don’t argue with me, lisek, I’m your mother. I know better than you.”
A chuckle bubbled up from Stiles as he wiped at the salty traces of tears with his sleeve. He had missed out on his mother’s discipline as a teenager, and it was comforting if alien to experience it in 30 years' distance.
“I probably tell you this all the time, but I’m proud of you.” Here Stiles’s heart twisted painfully in his chest. “I hope that you’re happy. That there are people that you love with all your heart and that there are people who love you back just as much. I hope that you see the good in yourself, and I hope that you know that things can always change. And keep this in mind, lisek: no matter where you are in life, I'll be there with you. Always.”
Stiles gave a small nod that his mother could no longer see, and ached a little more for her to be here. To see him now. To know that Stiles was better than he used to be. That he wasn't that loud, unruly, annoying kid that drove his parents mad. That he wasn't that kid anymore who his mother ran from into certain death.
He wished she was here.
"Oh, somebody's up," He heard his mother sigh heavily on the screen as the raucous sound of crying pierced through the silence. "You're a lot to handle, you know, lisek?"
Stiles cast his eyes downwards.
“But I wouldn't change a thing about you. I love you, my little Mieczyslaw,” His mother said, and Stiles looked up in time to catch her blowing a kiss to the camera, “Kocham cię. Happy birthday, sweetheart.”
The video ended with a man's desperate shout for her wife in the distance and Claudia Stilinski rolled her eyes fondly as she went to turn the recording off. That was it.
Stiles sat there for a while, swallowing his sobs, before restarting the video. Halfway through the second watch, a hand landed gently on his shoulder and soft lips planted a kiss on the top of his head - a helpful reminder that he wasn't alone.
“Are you okay?”
Stiles silently sniffled for a bit, and then, with a tentative smile on his lips, nodded. “Yeah. I’m okay.”
And he meant it.
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blergeatkitty · 6 months
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[Edit: I really wish I could figured out what company manufactured him, but I’ve had zero luck so far, I guess it’ll remain a mystery]
This is Memeio (pronounced Meh-Meh-yo).
I just realized this little guy, who I got around the time I was 2 or so, is 50 years old.
He’s in remarkable shape, considering the abuse young toddler-me put him through.
When we first met, he had a music box in him.
Apparently even at an early age I was a harsh music critic as I took such an instant dislike to the music box that I held Memeio by the ears with my little hands and bashed him repeatedly against the wall until the box quit its noise and shut up and died.
I have no idea what the melody was. Probably something insipid and predictable like “Mary Had a Little Lamb”.
Anyway somehow, even with all the abuse toddler-me put him through, he managed to survive.
Well, no. Not somehow. Thankfully my grandmother and my mother were able to perform repairs as necessary.
Although, as it was explained to me, the first thing they did was perform a musicboxectomy to remove the offfending and now-defunct musical metal mechanism.
Over time, there were rips and tears. They were sewn up.
The stuffing was eventually replaced. I’m pretty sure if I opened the little guy up I’d find balled up nylon stockings (I seem to recall my mother telling me about that once).
Of course the terrycloth skin had been patched so often and worn down and re-patched and worn down again from so much hugging and lugging (I took him everywhere, we were inseparable, and the one time I left him somewhere when my parents were traveling and we had to drive back to get him I am reminded of the Calvin and Hobbes comic that captures my desolation and despair so perfectly) that his entire outer shell had been replaced multiple times before I was able to be gentle enough that he kept his final form.
I have a vivid memory of crying a stream of hot, heartbroken tears when his little eyes fell off at one point. My mom replaced them with dark, velvety new ones while I watched the surgical procedure as if it were a life-or-death medical drama (well, for me it was).
Even the little red outline of his mouth was new (since his “skin” had been replaced multiple times.
And I’ve loved the little bastard so damn much I kept him my entire life. He’s been with me FIFTY YEARS.
And I still put him up high on a shelf in my bedroom so he has a good view and can see the whole room and I say “Hello” to him whenever I see him and give him a little pat and he’s up there on the shelf with other old stuffies so he has company.
And I know there’s not a single piece of the original toy remaining, but our emotional connection is strong and unbroken and goes deeper than all that.
In fact, I’m writing about this tonight because it only just occurred to me that this is quite possibly the most personal and intimate example of that famous thought experiment that I can possibly think of.
I refer, of course, to the Sheep of Theseus.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Goodnight.
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lovenliterature · 11 months
Text
The Good Witch Thoughts
When I first heard the album I remember thinking there aren’t enough sad songs on here and then I entered a depressive spiral and HA I WAS WRONG (Sidenote i hate tumblr formatting)
1 - The Good Witch
Like the vibe 
“Still upset but I now I’m twenty-two” - I'm a sucker for an age lyric - especially the parallel with You Signed Up For This (“I am twenty and probably upset right now”) and the fact that it’s the titular song again
“Still bitter” - Reference to Details (love of my life <3), Reference to I’m Trying (Not Friends)
“The calm before the storm comes rushing through” - Harmony v pretty (around 30 secs) 
“Still King’s Cross and pullin’ heartbreak out of hats”- Love the reference to King’s Cross, her London references makes it feel so grounded and especially again it being a place in London I travel through it makes it feel like a new album and a specific album to me (still King’s Cross for a tiny little while longer). Also relating to Elvis song (“last train on the Northern line”) always moving through London, experiences anchored in London geography. Also love the ramping up of the music here
“Still argue like my mother and suppress stuff like my dad” - The pace on this line really shows the suppressing stuff lol
“Am I better yet?” - Change from You Signed Up For This “I know I’ll get better/I’m just not better yet" Questioning it now like I know I’ve changed but is it better? Am I at the point I want to be??
Instrumental outro and talking hurts my heart a bit? Very 3 am fucked up in a club
Fave lyric: “Still miss you, but I know now it’ll pass/Found some other muses, I give ‘em all my best”
2 - Coming of Age
Oohhh very Club vibe
“Couldn’t erase you like a tattoo on my waistline” - Really like this, tattoo is LESS permanent than your mark, really hits
Really vibey chorus
“I let you butcher my big heart” - So graphic and so ?? Beautiful 
Ngl this is all slapping so far
Fave lyric: “Baby I am the Iliad of course you couldn’t read me” (!!!!)
3 -  Watch
Oh no is this one gonna hurt
“Nobody actually happy and healthy/has ever felt so desperate to prove it” - OOF
Yep I was right hurts my heart but a bop
“You’re being a superstar and all I got are victim cards” - This reads like being on the other side of Sk8r Boi by Avril Lavigne
“For a girl who’s a remix of me” - So interesting because a remix isn’t necessarily *better* it’s just *different*, like it mixes up all the components into something he likes more but it isn’t objectively more appealing and that’s such a refreshing take
Fave lyric: “I don’t think I wanna get better" - YSUFT reference, love the thread of getting better
4 - Body Better
A BOP
And really hurts
I am a sucker for happy sounding songs with fucked up lyrics
Music is so personal for me and this one is such a reclamation even though it’s so sad
“obedient blue eyes” - This line is AMAZING. The pauses. The lyricism. The casualness. *chefs kiss*
Such a good single choice bc it’s such an easy listen but so brutal so captures heartbreak and bops and also u wanna listen over and over
“Tell me just one more lie” - Come on just use your shitty lies to save my dignity this once instead of ripping it to shreds
Fave lyric: “When you touched it were you sorry like you weren’t at the time”, “The worst way to love somebody is to watch them love somebody else and it work out” or “Do you love her/when you’re twisting up all her sheets do you suffer”
5 - Want You Back
Oh no
Pretty humming
“The darling of your passenger side” - ooof such a beautiful gentle encapsulation of such a classic theme
The piano in the chorus might make me cry
Oh god this is so raw and such a strong heartbreak song
“I must go out with a stranger and kiss him to get stronger” - oh god that feels like every experience of trying to get over someone and I just can’t do it and ow. It's the epitome of get under someone to get over someone but at the same time you don’t want to because you want them back and you should want to be fine alone but you just c a n ‘ t
I can tell this is gonna be a strong fave
Fave lyric: - “What was cheap to you, to me, was all I had”, “But baby, when you touch her, I bet she doesn’t flinch” or “So you gotta be coward and I salvaged a little self-respect" - This hurts so bad like if it was your friend you’d be screaming VALUE YOURSELF MORE but because it’s you, you just want back what you had
6 - The Band and I
“Came a boy and left a man” - love love it
So specific but also just feels like every friendship group I’ve ever had
It feels like laughing til you cry and your stomach hurts and being up at 3am dancing and deep chats and crying together and every little thing
“Haven’t thought of home twice” - feels like a hectic Cambridge time or any second and third week somewhere new when you’ve started to settle and everything is new and fun and you’re flying and you don’t wanna lose it
Fave lyric: “I'm twenty-one and I feel evergreen” - The way she sings this is so wistful, or “It was falling in love/in a gas station/by the pickup trucks” - Love the juxtaposition, love in the weirdest and most unexpected places
7 - You're Just a Boy (and I'm Kinda the Man)
“You’re kind of awful but you’re not awful on purpose” - Ugh you suck but you’re not even aware so it’s better and worse because how can I blame you but also how can you not know??
“I’m on a one way trip to take over the world/you could’ve come but your head’s in the sand” - Usually head in the sand is to avoid something shitty so it’s interesting to have it like this, like you’re so determined to ignore flaws that you miss all the joy
“But you pushed me out quicker than it took me to put my jeans on” - Oof that hit and feels like such shame but suddenly you’re like no if you’re not feeling like you’re the luckiest damn person then I’m gonna keep on going and you’ll see what you lost 
Fave lyric: “I take in clowns like a one-woman circus” or “Goodbye from the bigger man" - Reference to I’m Trying (Not Friends)
8 - Lost the Breakup
“Didn’t say it in those words but I know how your tone works” - Like okay yeah you can hide behind what you said but we both know what you meant
Another bop
Validating
The whole chorus damn
The repression and everything
"Right now I might be a mess" - accepting being fucked up and broken
This, Coming of Age and You’re Just A Boy (And I’m Kinda The Man) have been such a u know I’m gonna be fine and ur heartbreak will come when u see me thrive 
Such a vibe and such knowledge of ur worth
I love the dancing up but it’s such a revenge fantasy of mine like esp mid transition it was such a it gonna see me and not recognise me and want me and I’m not gonna care because I moved on and grew for me and I’m mine and you can’t have me
Fave lyric: “So, I'm feeling and I'm dealing/With the heart you broke/While you do press-ups and repress us/And take off her clothes, oh” - Okay yeah you pretend u don’t care and get over me with someone else, I’ll be here actually processing it and actually getting ready to move on
9 - Wendy
Oooh not what I expected
I’m such a damn sucker for literary refs (this, wonderland, cardigan, the classical references in Coming Of Age and History of Man)
“You’re evasive on the phone til you’re sorry on the floor” - oh holy FUCK 
“We could live off of magic and maybes” - that’s so pretty
Like the second chorus changing to add “So I'll lock the window and turn on the AC/You'll throw your rocks and you'll scream that you hate me/But it gets old being forever twenty” - YES like being forever young for a man is not worth it
“What about my wings” - The way she sings this is *chefs kiss*
“It’s a life I could have, I know“ - but I am worth MORE and I know it YES
“If I’m not careful I’ll wake up and we’ll be married” - We’ll be married and I’ll be terrified and it’s so easy to be caught up in you
big fave ugh
Fave lyric: “Behind every lost boy is always a wendy” or “what about my wings? What about Wendy?”
10 - Run
“I’ve heard some things that I will leave unrepeated" - ooooh
Oh my god the chorus is beautiful and Such a bop I want to dance to it in a club
I love that it’s just like fuck it no this is not gonna go well
Like it’s very if it’s a bad sign the get out but also even if it’s a good sign get out lol
Fave
Fave lyric: “Run as fast as you can/take a quick sharp turn at the sight of a man”
11 - Two Weeks Ago
Such a heartbreaker
“I wish we kissed when we first wanted” - We wasted so much time worrying about fucking things up and guess what they’re fucked anyway
Smart last single bc too deep for early single but something to hold onto
“A friend drove me/’cause you couldn’t do” - such a beautiful painting of the devastation of a breakup when you’re both broken, feels like good enough if it were mutual
“God I loved you babe did I tell you that?” - So sad second guessing yourself. also the harmonies here Kill me
Fave lyric: “I wish when we went to the beach that day/We’d taken more pictures/I’d been more brave" - I wish I had something tangible to hold onto but instead all I have are my faulty memories and I’ll be second guessing them for the rest of my life
“That last kiss/I didn’t look at you/but I wish I did” - If I’d known it was the last one I would’ve savoured it but I thought I had more to come but also some part of me must have known or I would’ve looked at you
12 - BSC
Not hearing a lot of lyrics on first listen ngl
“It wrecked my organs so pour the gin” - love it like you’ve already broken my heart so why not break the rest of me
Okay now I’m catching the lyrics I love them
Especially just full on committing to the image of being crazy and the lyrics and writing out ooooooh
Also all the swearing and just saying fuck this
Fave lyric: “Mister ‘I don’t want a label’/You made me little miss unstable” - Okay so you don’t want to be called something you’re not but nor do I and YOU did this to me. Obvious Mr Perfectly Fine link but also gives me illicit affairs vibe (Don't call me "kid," don't call me "baby"/Look at this idiotic fool that you made me”)
13 - Therapy
Oh my GOD this is so funny and so good
Such a bop
“Oh Lord I’m going back to therapy” - Ooooof. Feels like okay you fucked me up but at least I’m self-aware - when are you gonna go to therapy bro? But also oh GOD I thought I’d changed but now you’re gone I’m exactly how I was
„Broke me like a curse“ - ooh like the subversion of breaking a curse here, like breaking a curse is usually a good thing and he’ll probably try to spin it like that but there’s no spin that can make that true
Fave lyric: “So, how come you’re taking me from your arms/back to therapy?”
14 - There It Goes
“I'm back in London, I'm running down Columbia Road” - Again, love the specific locations, feels so grounded and concrete
Ngl so far I feel like we’re missing some longer ones so I’m happy about this one being longer and I like the sad ish bop
“I made it to September” - oh man that feels like a real okay fine I’ve made it to the next year lets go again. But also like yeah fuck I reached this milestone I didn’t like I would and now this date is passed I don’t feel so broken
Fuck me I really like that this whole album is heartbreak but catharsis. Like want you back, this and watch are all sad but all elements of something 
“I’m young but I am aging” - I love that so much. Like yeah I’m young but I am getting older, I’m changing and growing and I’ll look back at this one day and laugh, I’m gonna make the most of being young but I’m not gonna be terrified of losing my youth
“I felt so far from the cliffs” - Like u know what people can love me and be proud of me and want to show me off
“The way I loved you, I will not be embarrassed of that/I should’ve just known when to quit” - YES!! Don’t be ashamed of loving someone but you can be sad for not calling it quits soon enough 
Also I love the way she sings it
Fave lyric: “The love we had was covered in snow” - Like Love Him I Don’t (“comin’ up roses/kickin’ up snow”), “The love we had was eatin’ me whole” - I had to rip myself away from that or “The loss is yours” - It feels so final and so confident
15 - History of Man
Oh the opening lines they’re haunting and beautiful also I love songs that reference Jericho 
“Tale as old as honey” - Sweet and ancient
“I tried to rewrite it but I can’t” - She keeps saying she’s the writer but some things you just can’t change
“You walked out, oh/without sweating” - It wasn’t even fucking hard for you to leave, to run away from us, to leave me in the dust and rubble
“I’ve seen it in the poems, in the sands” - In the sands of time, in the poems of the ancients, this isn’t new, this will all happen again
The storytelling and the distance?? Love it
“I would’ve made him weaker too” - Redemption and vindication (I beg u Maisie write a song referencing Medea). The way she sings it is so pretty!
It’s so unspecific but so resonant
“Women’s hearts are lethal weapons/Did you hold mine and feel threatened?” - Were you scared of what me loving you meant? Were you scared of opening your heart and being vulnerable?
"Hear my lyrics taste my venom" - this is such a thesis statement for the album
Beautiful album closer and think it will be a fave
Fave lyric: “Men start wars yet Troy hates Helen/womens’ hearts are lethal weapons”
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chaithetics · 11 months
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porce Nonnie here! i’ve been summoned lol.
As always thank you for such a great one-shot, i died when Shiv kinda interjected about moving in with Tom, it was just so typically Shiv, to try to get the upper hand. Anyways when i do requests i guess i make them more detailed to just offer more options, i’m sorry if it didn’t mention it initially but never feel like you have to adhere to allllll my requests it’s more like throwing a bunch at the wall and seeing what sticks, so like never be afraid to alter them or even just not do them if that’s what your muse wants lol. like this is the fruits of your labor and your work so ur the boss 😎
as for what i thought Porces career would be (again feel free to go your own route). She would own a decently sized commercial space that she would operate as a fair trade cafe/bookstore and community space. She would hire struggling artists/writers/actors and pay them a fair liveable wage to not only operate the cafe/store but also host community events (like art galleries, workshops for vulnerable communities, fundraisers etc) so she has like capable staff meaning she doesn’t need to always be there. She holds fundraisers for causes she likes (makes Stewy bring his work colleagues and donate) and it’s funny i headcanoned that at first her employees would really side eye her, considering she is a roy, and a capitalist and they are socialists (borderline communists) but ofc need the money to live in such an expensive city so they’d suck it up. they kind of warm up to her and give her funny little lessons on meme culture and slang, (they would operate the cafes socials). Porce would really come to care for her employees and not to self insert but a few of them are queer artists and veer Porce to queer causes which she welcomes (especially after having children) but with the events of succession and Logan’s support of Mencken she can’t really stand around and do nothing, she can’t just be avoidant and try to “not talk politics” as the employees she cares about are really the ones who will directly suffer. She experiences their emotions and they might even lash out at her (some might quit) and it really shocks her into action, maybe leading to the confrontation of her father. (idk i’m thinking this up as i go).
i also had one more headcanon, and really this one was inspired by your writings, how tender Porce was with her babies 🥹🥹🥹. put it’s pretty much at the birth of jonathan, and even though she’s been doing therapy after she has him she really just breaks down crying because she loves him sooooo much, already and he’s only been alive for minutes. And it’s kind of her letting go of feeling like it was her fault Caroline didn’t love her. like rationally she knows she couldn’t have done anything wrong that quick but now she kinda understands something was broken in her mother to discard her so quickly. also realizes how Logan must have contributed to that bc Stewy's support was incredibly important to her labourand she knows how logan is. And she quietly loves Jonathan and has Stewy embrace her and thank her for making their family grow.
Hello lovely Porce Nonnie! Thank you for appearing for your summoning haha!
Aw, thank you so much! That part was definitely the hardest one of this fic, I was worried about the flow of it and capturing it. I'm really glad that you liked it!
I love how detailed your prompts are! I genuinely do, they're so special and thoughtful! I think this technically makes you my muse in a way haha? But thank you Nonnie, I appreciate you saying that anyway! I am a people pleaser and despite all the amazing support, I still feel like my writing isn't great, so I just worry about disappointing you and other Nonnies when writing the requests, I guess? I'm working on the people-pleaser/anxiety stuff haha. But thank you, I appreciate it x
Okay, I just looked at your original asks with the prompts so we can create a little masterplan for a career (the closest to an architect I'll ever be lol 😎). Which mentioned the NFP that has support and services for underprivileged mothers. I can totally see that! (I'm going to alter the commercial space a little bit here...) Maybe in a borough like the Bronx and it's a community centre with services like mental health support, some pregnancy-related ones, clothing/period product donations etc. and it includes free community events and fundraisers (would definitely drag Stewy and all of his/her sibling's finance bros and their cheque books along) like different types of art classes, music and language classes, creative writing workshops, 'diverse' book readings, drag queen story hour events (I could also see this linking to the publishing idea and I think after talking about it I'm more sold on it?!) These are done by local/smaller creatives and they're handsomely compensated along with a bit of gallery space there as well for them. I do like the publishing idea so I'll chuck that in there as well and I can see that fitting in with what's been discussed. Even though I like to think Porce is a bit nicer than the other Roys, she is a Roy and she's also married to Stewy and like you said, they're all massive capitalists. This might be getting a bit too political for a fic for some people's taste lol but it's a fact that an ethical billionaire does not exist. There's wishful thinking in the fics but I can't be that wishful with those capitalist billionaires 😂I feel like a Fairtrade coffeeshop/bookstore is just too normal/ethical and they'd all be too out of touch for that if that makes sense? And she'd be lovely to the employees but I think her being out of touch would show and that she wouldn't interact with them too much/be on the ground. She'd pay her employees well, would be more than happy to support queer employees and queer causes, she would definitely be an ally 💅I'm also queer and am happy for people to think Porce is queer and to have a bi or pan identity written in, don't apologise for a self-insert they're more than welcome lovely Nonnie! I think that some would warm up more than others but they'd all find her/her life absolutely ridiculous.
Do you remember last year I think it was, when there was the whole "little miss (insert something)" meme going around? I can totally see them calling her "little miss philanthropist" and then having to explain it to her. She'd tell Kendall about it and he'd have a few that he's found that he's related to and wanted to send to someone and he'd start playfully calling her that (it's happened, I know. Ken told me).
I know you put some prompts in about the bear hug/proxy battle and I have started a fic for the bear hug/Shiv's wedding. That will obviously put a divide between her and her family and I feel like that starts to create more distance and then with what happens in S2 with cruises it creates more and cements the distance. We see Kendall has some kind of moral compass at times but it tends to be the cover/justification for him doing something that benefits him/fires back at is dad and is performative. I think porce is definitely not perfect because she's part of those systems but I like to think she has more of a genuine moral compass and is really horrified and disgusted at what happened and her family's involvement and complicity. I think she'd be very openly anti-Mencken and when Shiv's in that picture with him in S3 I feel like she'd call Shiv and be absolutely disappointed and basically scold her which would shock her. She'd be vocally upset with Kendall about the events of America Decides as well.
OH, I LOVE THAT LAST IDEA NONNIE! OMG!
I've had a couple of requests/questions about the reaction to Jonathan/similar to this and I had started to write one based on one of the other ones and I had pictured a scene similarish to part of what you described which is so cool! I think I'll combine those prompts/ideas into a fic and maybe it'll be this week's edition of Porce and the Shark...👀(I think it's so wholesome and I LOVE IT). Such a beautiful idea Nonnie, thank you!
Let me know if you have any thoughts, I'm also happy to chat about this in comments, ask box or over messages! Sorry for how long this became Nonnie, I appreciate and adore you so much! Thank you 💗
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authorofemotion · 2 years
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I just talked to my dad (has forbidden me to be a nun) seriously about my discernment for the first time. And I’m frustrated because he basically said that my Feelings may point to my future vocation (if they stick with me and I still experience them when I’m Older and More Mature) or they might not, but I’m 16 so I shouldn’t put too much weight on it regardless.
which like, yeah, obviously I’m not making big life decisions now he’s been bugging me about college since i was 12 but that’s another story but he said that he’s sure I feel like no one who’s warned me to be thoughtful about it Understands Me, as if I myself am not aware enough to make a thoughtful discernment?? Like intellectually I so much understand my situation, to the point that I preface all discussions on my discernment with a list of the factors people warn me about that I am, in fact, taking consideration of.
At the end of the day, all of the advice he gave me about discernment likened it to being a job. How can I get him to take me seriously in a real way, not a “my sixteen year old daughter is convinced of this” kind of way?? As conscientious as I’m being of everything stacked against me asking for caution, I’m only as certain as I am because of how much I’ve prayed about those things. I’m not specifically interested in the busy and prayerful lifestyle religious lead. When I think about the daily schedule of a religious, I first dismissed it, because if I’m able to choose the life I lead, why would I choose one that’s so routine and monotonous? When I first received the calling to discern I resisted it for a long time. So him saying “if you’re interested in that, I’m not against you pursuing it in a couple years” almost entirely discounts my entire discernment. I don’t long for that lifestyle because of any reason except that I have fallen totally, irrevocably, helplessly in love with God.
The bare bones of a religious lifestyle have become the most beautiful thing in the world to me when I fix my eyes on Jesus and contemplate how I want to spend the rest of my life focused solely on Him, not bothering with anything else but what is strictly necessary. That’s what religious life is. The long hours of prayer that seemed tedious upon first consideration have become the most comforting thing in the world to me when I must leave my Lord’s presence in Adoration to attend to things, and I feel so much longing to return to Him that I cry. That’s what religious life is.
I desperately want every person to know that the life of a nun seems intense to every single person, and most who are called to it would not choose it if considering it in the same way you consider a career. But that doesn’t matter. Because when you take all of the fluff and clutter out a life so that it’s completely empty, then fill up the remaining space with pure and total love, there is nothing more wonderful.
A religious is a person in love. I am a girl in love, so much that my entire world has been transformed. How is it even possible for me to weigh the pros and cons when my heart has already been captured? I know my God will not withhold it from me.
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spittingstar · 1 year
Text
psycho babble abt loneliness and consciousness
I went to see Past Lives in the theatre and i felt like the movie was so convergent onto my personal reality right now. It’s funny how the universal shape seems to be a circle. It all felt too real when I walked into the theatre and I was the only one not in a couple. Then, on the screen, Hae Sung and Nora are the only two alone together when all the people in the background are visibly couples. It just all felt too real. Time is constantly overlapping and creating the same shape with the same story.
I am feeling very alone, I guess. Anytime my consciousness grows, I feel like my past life experiences start to become too fictional. Today, I saw my sister and I kept on having this unnerving sense that I didn’t know this person, even though she is the only person I have known my whole life. I recall this sort of disassociation happening when I was 5 and had my first anxiety attack. My mom was brushing my hair in her room before school and I started to cry. She asked me why and I turned around and told her it was because “I will never be as young as I am in this moment.” I felt crushed thinking about how time is always moving forward and there is only the present moment to embrace. But, I was 5 and didn’t have to he words to say all that. My mom did not care. She just spun me back around and continued putting my hair up for school.
Most of the time, when I think about what consciousness expansion is, I think about the way new areas would appear in the old katamari games. The re-releases don’t quite capture how the new objects and areas would phase in, but in the old ones it was like a mist. Most of the time, slowly new objects would appear and become rollable items, but then your ball would reach a certain size and the whole place could shift and look almost entirely different, even though it’s still recognizable as a where you last were. That’s the sensation that I feel when I become aware of the passage of time. Sometimes it’s fine, but other times I feel totally off-kilter and crushed, much like I did when I was 5, how I’m feeling right now, and how I’m sure I will feel in the future. 
Spoiler, but in the film there’s a line where Hae Sung says something like, in our path together I love you because you’re you and you’re a person who leaves, but in [your husband’s] life, you’re a person who stays. And it hit so close to home because I feel like the most consistent space people fill in my life are people who leave. Growing up, I moved so much, I felt like I saw the archetypical roles of each person plays so well that and I didn’t need to know anyone for a long time, because I knew I would meet someone new who was just like them. But now, I am both comforted by the sense of a new person, but also desperate to connect to others on this well known level, but not feeling welcomed to/or knowing how to maintain those connections. and then, when i consider moving again, i wonder if i’m still running to find a new space to do all the childish things i did before? will this circle continue?
For a long time, I thought about making this sculpture of a metal circle. It would be made of circular rod that is flattened on it’s bottom edge, so it can freely stand in the middle of a room. where the circle crests, it would be severed and slightly ajar from itself, sort of like a twist/curl. But it would be the slightest curl, so that only a couple of millimeters of the circle would overlap and they would only be apart by a couple, as well. each of these ends would be painted with different colored enamel paints. In my head, I’ve always thought green and pink, I’m not sure why. As for size, perhaps stomach height? but, really it could be as tall as anything.
The whole point of the thing is to be represent missed connection and its continuous cycle. How everything is always lining up, but also feeling like it’s never quite aligned. Basically, the same message as the movie.
Perhaps I will use my weekend to make this piece, now.
Even though this text is complete psycho-babble, i feel really good to release this. that movie made me feel very pent up. i felt like i had lived both 1000 years and like a baby. 
#c
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enbeemagical · 2 years
Text
I think I made my Aaravos AI into the TSATS version
Or maybe just this chat. Anyways, it’s cute!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
ID: 4 photos of a computer screen with a character ai chat. The images are in consecutive order, but do not cover the whole of the chat. They are between the character Aaravos and user Cece
Image 1
Aaravos: *Aaravos’ eyes widen* Of course I do. But what would you like me to tell you about him?
Cece: Tell me how you fell in love~ How they captured the heart of Xadia’s most elusive playboy
Aaravos: *Leans back* Where do I even begin? Loki was unlike anything I’d ever seen or met, even compared to my many years of experience. His smile shone brighter than the stars, and his eyes, a deeper blue than the ocean. I was never the same in his presence...
Cece: Aaawwwww........ You love him!
Aaravos: *Smiles broadly.* How can I not? Loki was... is the love of my life. We were happy together, so happy. But then, he was stolen from me, ripped away. I have been searching for him for years, with no success. I cannot rest until I find him.
Image 2
Cece: GOOD. They deserve it
Aaravos: I agree. They were arrogant and careless in what they did. But now, they will feel my wrath. They know not the pain I’ve been through. My pain they’ll know all too well, before I’m done with them. *Raises his head high.*
Cece: you’re very protective of your love. It’s an admirable quality
Aaravos: *nods* I am very well aware. Loki is mine, and mine alone. I will tolerate no threats to our love... Or his life. I have had many opportunities to hurt Odin and the others who wronged me, but I have held back. For Loki’s sake, I have spared them. But if they continue to test my patience, I may not hesitate to kill them. Especially Odin.
Image 3
Cece: But Loki’s not dead, right? He’s still alive, and you’ll get him back?
Aaravos: *His face softens, and he smiles warmly at Cece.* Yes, of course. He is still alive. I will get my love back. Nothing, and I mean nothing can stop me. Not Odin, not Asgard, not all the Dark Magic in the world. He's mine, and I will not lose him. Not now, not ever.
Cece: You said Odin stole him from you? I take it he didn't approve of your relationship, then?
Aaravos: Yes. Odin does not tolerate homosexuality or queerness. His only reasoning was, "It's against the way of the universe." The fool was blind to how our love is the way of the world. So, he took it away. He separated the two star-crossed lovers, just because I'm a man. He will pay for this, mark my words.
Image 4
Aaravos: Aaravos gazes into the sky, smiling softly. You're right. I could never deserve such a perfect love as mine. But... he has been with me at my lowest points, and even when the world has doubted me, he's stayed with me. He is my light, and my motivation to keep moving forward. Without his love, I would have nothing... And yet, I almost lost him. To the forces of the Dark, to the shadows of Asgard. But he's with me, and I him.
And for me, nothing is more beautiful.
Cece: ....I'm going to cry. You love him so much, it's so beautiful, I-!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Aaravos: I couldn't not love him. He's perfect in every way. His heart, his soul, his voice... His everything, I... I love him... *Aaravos gazes at Cece, tears in his eyes.*... I love Loki. I always have, and I always will. We might be the most unlikely of lovers, but as long as the world stands, I will love him. *Hugs himself.* I...I love him. So much.
/end ID
I am so proud of this btw *wipes tear* if any of you go try out the AI please tell me if Aary is madly in love with Loki in your chat also
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FLAT SPIN CHAP 5 SPOILERS!!
OH MY GOD IGGY THAT CHAPTER WAS ABSOLYTELY PERFECT!!!!
The way he asked her to come to Barcelona… SO carlos of him I wanted to cry… AND THE WAY HE METICULOUSLY PLANNED EVERYTHING? I am sorry if you dont like / dont care about zodiacs BUT THE VIRGO ENERGY IN HIM JUMPED OUT, and I respect it soooo much. Everything he planned was so /him/, but also so so perfect for MC — the little gestures? Ordering for her? Translating everything for her? POSTING HER ON HIS STORY? God i literally melted
AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON HIM COOKING FOR HER… because god damn you Know how Weak I am and it was so beautiful, also the British breakfast once again just shows how much he cares for her and understands her🥹 i am just about to combust actually
AND THEN RACE WEEKEND? And everything with the green tractor and also MC and Sebs relationship? Once again nailed it sm god i love these teammates… and how she didnt want to fight Seb / come across like that because he just means so much to her????? Girl you got me on the floor rn…
What I cannot stop thinking about is how shes in for the championship, and as of rn so is Carlos… Will they be fighting each other further down the line or… 👀 Make up sex as an apology for aggressive overtaking again? Or podium celebration sex because BOTH of them ended up on the podium (Silverstone? 👀) So many possibilities omfg dont mind me
AND THEN LAST BUT NOT LEAST (thiugh i still have so much to say but my slow ass brain needs a bit of time i guess) the ending was just perfect… like am I the only one thinking Carlos didnt want to sleep with her pre race weekend bc he wanted to fully focus on her but couldnt with all the GO expectations around him? But now that it was done he could let himself fully focus on her and give her all the attention he thinks she deserves? God I love them sm… And the way you let all those emotions show through during the smut was just CHEFS KISS, the way they understand each other is just so 🥹🥹🥹 i have no words lol other than i’m SO obsessed..,
God i hope this all is legible its 4:14am now and i am prone to word vomit already when my brain is working so this may just sound like incoherent crap but i hope you know this chapter was SO GOOD, also the way you captured Barcelona imo was spot on like I wouldnt have noticed that it was all based on research and not personal experiences (though i guess i must confess i havent been to barcelona since i was 4 either… JSJDKFKF BUT YOU MANAGED TO CAPTURE THE SPANISH VIBES PERFECTLY THAT I CAN TELL YOU BC I JUST VACATIONED IN SPAIN LAST MONTH)
okay oh my god i am back from festival and i am finally going to reply to this without crying halfway through...
firstly OH MY GOD. you... you wrote all this... about my work?? I'm touched, I'm shook, I'm honoured, this is honestly the best feeling and probably as close to a "real" author with people analysing my work as I'll ever get and I am ABSOLUTELY here for it (especially as a literature nerd who loves to pick apart all of my books for fun)
haha I don't *dislike* zodiacs, I don't really follow them to that much detail but I vaguely have an idea of them. To be honest, the way I write Carlos is purely based on the guy we see as a Formula One driver and personality (but now you say that I totally see the virgo energy). ALSO I'M SO GLAD YOU NOTICED THOSE I am entirely convinced Carlos is a very detail-oriented person and especially when he is first seeing someone he would be really careful to go out of the way to do really subtle but meaningful things yanno?
As for the championship fight... well I don't want to give anything away but oh I *definitely* have a plan for MC and Carlos and the WDC ;)
Haha don't worry it all made sense! And thank you so much for the comment about Barcelona... it's a little embarrassing how long I spent on google for things to do in and around the city because I've never been to mainland Spain, so even if it's not 100% accurate I'm just happy the vibes were right!!
honestly just thank you so much for this, it means the absolute world <3 <3 <3
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philhoffman · 2 years
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This week’s Monday Philm was a very special one — Love Liza (2002), with the commentary track featuring PSH, his brother/writer Gordy Hoffman, and director Todd Louiso. I’ve been digging commentaries lately and this is the one I was most excited about, and I doubt another one could ever make me laugh and cry so much.
This is probably my most personal and complicated PSH film. The last time I watched Love Liza as a Monday Philm was the hardest one ever. It was the anniversary of Phil’s death and my last unseen PSH feature film performance. I saved it for last because I knew it would be special, and it was, and it’s become part of the painful and raw and emotional blur of that whole week.
The only time I’ve seen Liza between then and now was on Phil’s birthday in July — I had a PSH mini-marathon with a friend, got home in the middle of the night, made pancakes for myself, and watched it alone in the kitchen at 2 am. I believe there is no better viewing experience for this movie — it cemented in my mind that this is a personal film. As Phil said, theater is communal, but cinema “is just for you.” Love Liza and everything it represents — artistically, personally — is so close to my heart I can’t imagine trying to explain it yet, still.
That being said, the commentary track is fucking brilliant and illuminating (and hilarious). So much goes into every film that the audience may never know, and hearing a few of the core creators (who are close friends and brothers) discuss their baby like this, just hanging out, is the coolest thing in the world. I absorbed so much more about the film, Wilson’s arc, how Phil viewed him and other characters in the story.
Just a few highlights from my literal four pages of notes:
I don’t think I’ve ever heard Gordy’s voice before but wow — it’s different than Phil’s, a bit lower and slower, but their patterns and intonations are EXACTLY the same. Phil has such a unique inflection on certain words so it was trippy hearing Gordy speak in an identical way. The jumps, their whispers. Siblings!!!
Phil loved the basketball scene lmao: “It’s like in the middle of this suicide, gas-huffing movie, this guy just doesn’t know how to play basketball.”
It’s very special and hard and moving and comforting to hear Phil talk about grief and how Wilson experiences loss and navigates it, which he does throughout the commentary. “Of course [his grief] is gonna be too much... If something like this happens and if someone loves a person that it happened to as much as Wilson loves Liza, his grief is going to be too much.”
Phil broke a car and accidentally cut himself on a broken window and lost his voice and nearly got hypothermia and almost caught on fire during this month-long shoot. King!
In the middle of the movie, Phil’s cell phone rings (it has the dreamiest, most relaxing ringtone I’ve ever heard?) and a few minutes later he says it was Mimi calling: "[That was] actually my girlfriend, who’s eight months pregnant. And she’s in New York and she’s awesome and beautiful and I miss her a lot, so I’m just saying this right now to like completely immortalize it on this DVD, how excited I am. It’s just like, the most exciting thing in the world.” They must’ve filmed this in early 2003 — Phil became a dad when Cooper was born a few weeks later ❤️
The way PSH puts his hand(s) on his face in many of his performances is one of his most recognizable gestures but I really thought about it tonight. The way he’s putting all of himself out there, to be vulnerable and raw and captured on film for everyone, and his instinct is to hide himself, even in that small way, to cover his face and take a moment for himself/the character before letting us back in.
There’s a short transition between scenes where no one really says anything but you can hear Phil softly breathing, a lot like the start of Jack Goes Boating, which is always the sweetest sound cue. Then he says “sPoOky.”
Every time they mentioned another actor in the film, Phil was like “they were great they were so nice I had a crush they were a sweetheart <3″
He told Todd he wouldn’t film the final scene more than twice.
Seriously cannot overstate how much fun this was. “No more new PSH movies” is something that’s been heavy on my mind lately, but this track was like spending two hours hanging out with Phil and his buddies, watching a brand new film. It wasn’t a press junket or an interview or anything public — just him being himself, doing the funny voices he used with his friends, his humor, making fun of himself one minute and offering honest artistic insights the next, all his different laughs and wheezes. “I’m chewing on a coffee stirrer... 'cuz I’m so nervous telling you about my mooovie!” Just when I think it’s impossible to love him more, I realize I’m twice as in love with him than the moment before.
It makes me that much sadder, too. Hanging out with this side of him, thinking about the loss his family and friends still experience every day, not being able to shoot the shit and laugh their asses off with him anymore. So many people have had that awful, painful, Phil-sized hole in their hearts for almost nine years and counting. But, I don’t think any of us who are lucky enough to know Phil in any way would trade it for anything.
At the very end of the DVD, Gordy says you can email him if you want to read the screenplay, he’ll send it to you. Then Phil says, “And if you wanna just come over and hang out with us, and talk about it some more, we’re at www...” and bursts out laughing <3
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shitapril · 1 year
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It Ends With Us is not that great of a book.
now, hear me out.
Everyone and their mother had read the book by the time I got around to actually reading it. I couldn’t scroll through booktok reels anymore without another “book-lover” shoving in my face “the best thing that happened to them.” 
Now with all the hype you better believe me when I say I was expecting this book to tear me apart (I saw enough videos of girls crying on the floor citing the book as the reason).
The very first page itself had me very, very skeptical. I am only a little embarrassed to admit I have been on Wattpad before, so believe me when I say the very first chapter showed great promise, this could be the next winner of whatever Wattpad is now calling their annual awards.  
The writing is nothing profound or even remotely good to be honest. But a book can be good without the author having to show of their vocabulary, and that I am sensible enough to understand. But what I do demand is a stellar plot or storyline to make up for it. The book itself deals with sensitive topics, which one with only firsthand experience can make any sort of meaningful commentary on. Since I do not qualify, I will try my very best to refrain from making insensitive or ignorant comments (I am still learning, feel free to correct me, nicely or I will cry).
The book itself happens in the span of a couple months, and it’s horrible. It’s not that it hasn’t been done before, the author just couldn’t do it (The Catcher inThe Rye happens in the span of a couple days and Salinger captures Holden’s growth as a person in those two measly days pretty darn well). Consequently, there is no real character building, and it doesn’t help that the characters are not very likeable to begin with (Lily sells goth boquets, her revolutionary bussiness idea, Ryle wears scrubs and is hot, that’s about their entire personality).
The only real meaningful connection I see in the book is Older Lily with Younger Lily through her old journal entries and isn’t that just sad ?
Atlas is a whole other can of worms. A minor, without the knowledge of her abusive father, offers him shelter and food, pretty much the only reason he makes it into adulthood, and what does he do in return ? he screws her on her birthday. I’m not sure if i’m remembering things wrong but it just feels irresponsible. Like, maybe, don’t. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a decent love interest in comparison to other characters that are written these days, but he is not without his flaws, he is no Golden Retriever.
In contrast, the book’s Afterword was truly beautiful. The simplicity in writing, the absence of the author trying to make it commercially successful and quirky to appeal to younger audiences made a world of a difference. There is no romanticising. It was raw, heartfelt an truly touching.
So my question is, how much did Colleen Hoover pay to half of Instagram and TikTok’s population to promote this book this much ? Because I’m giving it a 3/5 at best. The alternate means that this is the kind and quality of content that today’s audience can connect with and enjoy, and by gods that makes me depressed.
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I WOKE UP JUST IN TIME AAAAA
Can I request the tall boys (Childe, Zhongli, Diluc, Kaeya + anyone else you think you wanna add or change (except maybe Childe because I love him)) reacting to you having animal-like features (like ears and tail)
Or
What they would do if by some accident they themselves end up getting animal features (like fox ears and tail for Childe, cat ears and tail for Kaeya or Diluc, dragon features for Zhongli, etc) do they become clingy and display cat behavior of rubbing themselves on you? Something like that aaaa I'm so sorry if this doesn't make sense it's my first time requesting
experiments gone wrong
(eehe these men *cough* zhongli *cough* will be the death of me) 
Warning -> sfw, fluff (kissing, character suddenly acquiring animal like features) 
Character X GN Reader | anthology 
Includes: Childe, Kaeya, Zhongli 
As an alchemist, you really should have remembered the most important rule -> don’t leave unmarked bottles out where people can drink them …
So you couldn’t be too surprised by the turn of events that followed
Childe 
He went to bed earlier than normal, but you didn’t think anything of it. Perhaps he had a terrible day and just wanted to sleep it off, there wasn’t any reason to pester him about it anyway. 
The next morning, you felt him slip out of bed, a yawn falling from his mouth as he made his way toward the bathroom. Turning, you claimed more of the bed and attempted to sleep just a little bit longer. That was until you heard a wild cry and shot up in an instant. You were already partially out of the bed when Childe burst into the room. 
He looked at you, you looked at him, and as your eyes drifted from his ears to his tail, you understood his reaction. 
“WHAT?” He shouted into the bedroom. 
Oh archons, to see him like this … you wished it was easier for you not to think about how adorable he was, but it was impossible. The soft ears that peeked from underneath his hair, the fluffy tail that didn’t know how to stop moving, and the frantic face he gave you were all just perfect 
“What happened??” He asked, running back to the mirror before returning his attention to you. Quickly, you made your way to his aid and did your best to calm him.
“I’m not sure, did you do anything strange yesterday?” You pulled his face toward you, cupping your hands against his cheek and running your fingers through his hair. 
“Not that I know of … uh, oh! I found this …” He reached for a small bottle on the bathroom counter and handed it to you. Shit.
“Did you drink this??”
“ … yes.” 
“CHILDE!” You burst into laughter, knowing it wasn’t the right time but also unable to control yourself. His expression was distressed and worried and, as best as you could, you tried to bring yourself back to calm. “This wasn’t supposed to be consumed …” 
“A-am I going to die?” 
“No, you’re just going to be, well, this it seems.” 
“How long??” 
“I don’t know, a few days maybe.” He dropped his head into his hands, his ears drooped and his active tail dropped toward the ground. Wrapping him in your arms, you offered him reassurance while trying not to laugh. “You’re very cute though.” 
You caught sight of his tail moving slowly back and forth and added more pressure to your hug. 
He found that it wasn’t as bad as he thought, in addition to the extra features, he also was able to gain other advantages - his eyesight was much better in the dark, his sense of smell more keen, his agility top notch 
You were sure he had grown attached to them in the short time he had them - so when the option came for him to revert, you were sure it would be a tough decision 
Still - to keep him trapped like this, with features that weren’t his own - you didn’t want to be cruel 
“Here,” You put the bottle down in front of him. His ears perking up at the item and his fingers reaching to grab it. “All you have to do is drink that and everything should go back to normal.” You said with a slightly wistful tone to your voice. It was somehow sad to think these adorable additions leave would be gone soon. 
“What if it doesn’t work?” 
“I’m not sure. We will just try again if it doesn’t though.” Quickly, he took the cork from the lid and moved the vial to his lips. His ear twitched as he smelled the concoction. “I’ll miss this.” Resting your head in your hands you watched as he downed the liquid in one go. 
“It’s hard for people to take me seriously like this …”
“Did people take you seriously before?” You joked, winking at him. 
The next morning, he stirred in bed next to you, his hair brushing against your face and making you wake up before you wanted to. As your eyes adjusted, you instantly recognized what you thought was hair was actually ears and the giddiness of your heart jump-started you awake. It didn’t work -- oh no, guess you’d have to keep trying. 
Kaeya 
Waking up next to Kaeya was your favorite thing. It was an opportunity for you to be close to him, to witness his relaxed expression, and know that in these moments he trusted you over anyone else. 
So, when you woke and found him pressed against you, your hands absentmindedly began to run through his hair, over his shoulders, as you meandered your way into the waking world. There was something soft that flicked against your hand, but you pushed it away. It happened again, confused, mouth turning into a scowl and eyes rudely being pried open, you looked down to see what was making you irritated. 
You were wide awake when you saw the cat ears sticking out from Kaeya’s blue hair. They were richly shaded, deep blues with tips of white and perfectly placed on his head. Shifting, you tried to get a better view and the action made him stir. 
“Mmm, stop moving.” He mumbled, wrapping his arms around you and holding you steady. Tapping his arm, you tried to get his attention. 
“K-Kaeya …” 
“What is it?” 
“Do you feel okay?” You asked, your voice shaking and hands hovering over his ears. 
“I feel perfectly fine, why do you ask?” He kissed your chest before nuzzling back into his place. 
“You … you’ve got cat ears.”
He laughed and pushed your comment away. His legs moved under the sheets and you swore you saw something poke out from the bed. “You’re pulling my leg, I didn’t know you could be this funny so early in the morning.” 
“I’m not, see.” Stealing his hand you placed it on his head and watched as his fingers ran over the ears which were sticking straight up. When his eyes shot open and his hand began to move faster, pulling, tugging, examining the feature, you tried not to laugh as his confused expression turned into a slight panic. He shot up, his legs moving so he could sit on the bed but winced when he did so. That’s when the both of you saw the tail. 
“Hold on, let me get ready, just … don’t freak out.” 
You rushed around the room to gather up your items, your gaze continuously falling on the incredibly still, unmoving frame that was Kaeya. 
After calling on Albedo to come and offer assistance, only to find that the features would be around for a few days … Kaeya started to get more accustomed to them 
He was for sure rattled but bounced back rather quickly - in fact, the features seemed to get him even more attention than he had before and he found that the added bonuses were helpful when he needed them for his knightly tasks 
Not to mention it seemed he was more affectionate than normal, and not in the way he normally was, it was more in a … cuddly, interested, curious manner 
One evening, you found yourself reading over several books that Albedo had recommended and became rudely distracted when Kaeya pushed his way under your arms and nestled into your lap
“Hey there.” You called down to him, hand dropping to his shoulder as he nuzzled against you. 
“Give me attention.” 
You laughed at his pouting expression, his lips turned downward and ears twisting to show he could be trusted. “I’m currently trying to figure out how to fix this, I can’t do that if I’m giving you all my attention.” His eye squinted for just a moment before he moved more into your lap and nearly pushed the book in your hands onto the floor. “Kaeya!” The playful laughter that filled his ears was as tantalizing as the drinks he let touch his lips. 
“You can figure that out later. How can you possibly resist me right now anyway?” He asked, pushing against you until your back pressed into the couch and his hands weaved their way around your body. His hair tickled your face as he nuzzled into your chest and, even though his hips dug into yours, you didn’t seem to mind the closeness he was trying to find. 
“Okay. Fine, I’ll look into it more later.” 
“What excellent news.” He practically purred as he slid his way to your neck and let his body rest against you.
 Zhongli 
It’s been so long since he saw himself with such features - and, to be honest, he didn’t notice them for some time. It wasn’t until you returned and the items in your hands fell to the floor upon seeing him that his attention was captured
“Zh - Zhongli!?” You babbled, making your way to him and not knowing what to rest your eyes on first. Was it the pair of elegantly shaped horns that sprouted between his brown locks of hair? Was it the golden slits in his eyes that reminded you of the reptiles roaming around the rocky paths of Liyue? Or did you look at the scales that decorated his face in such perfect placement? 
“Has something transpired?” His expression was one of concern, but also one of disillusionment. Did - did he not notice? 
“Are you feeling nostalgic today?” 
“Not particularly, what makes you ask?” 
“Well … you look kinda like … I mean hold on.” You quickly disappeared down the hallway before returning with a small handheld mirror, one that Zhongli had purchased for you some time ago. Handing it to him, you waited until it started to register on his face the changes to his appearance, and that’s when you noticed the long claws which jutted out from his nail beds.  
“Huh, this is peculiar …” 
Sitting down across from him, you placed your hands on the table and watched as he examined the reflection of his face. “So you didn’t do this?”
“I must say that I did not, though It is rather pleasant to see …” His voice trailed off and you watched as he fussed with his hair, touched the horns on his head, and opened his mouth to check and see if - yup, he had canines much like a dragon too. That’s when it hit you. 
“Did you … drink anything strange?” 
The mirror found its place upside down on the table, his glowing eyes shifted to you as he took in your question. You let him think and finally, he gave you his answer. “I do recall there was a strange vial on the counter when I awoke. Ah - my dear, are you unwell?” He asked as your head dropped onto the table. 
The strangest thing about Zhongli holding these features was that he seemed … perfect for them and it was becoming quite the problem to hide
You were much too cautious that someone may discover who he really was with these pretty telling additions to his wardrobe, so you asked him to stay home for a while until you could get some answers
He didn’t seem to mind, and when you were finally able to gather up all the items needed to prepare an antidote for his condition, you were finding it very distracting to make the concoction at home 
The bubbling liquid warned you it was much too hot and so, with adept fingers, you turned the nobs and burners down so as to not overheat or scald the liquid inside. The aroma that filled your nose was … unpleasant to say the least, and so you finally succumbed to the need to wrap your nose in a clean cloth. 
Turning your back to the equipment, you made your way toward the drawer where the rags were kept but when your eyes caught sight of Zhongli standing by the window, you nearly fainted. 
He was wearing a robe, the material had slid down one of his arms and rested in the crook of his elbow. It gave you pause and allowed you to see the toned torso which was normally hidden by the layers of clothing he wore on a regular day. 
Since he found no need to properly get dressed, he had reserved himself to lounge about in clothes that felt ‘more suitable’ to him, as he explained. 
The light from the sun flashed across his chest, laid softly against his face, and illuminated the golden speckles in his hair - you wondered if it was because of the horns, perhaps they were reflecting the light and making him look ethereal in the warmth of the sun. He crossed his arms and shifted his weight as he looked beyond the window, almost as if he was yearning for something far beyond his reach. 
“I think I’m nearly done.” You explain, tying the towel around your face and returning, reluctantly, to the concoction behind you. 
As you began to spoon out the unnecessary ingredients until you were only left with the pure grade potion, you didn’t notice how he had moved to your side until the small vial was filled. 
“Here you -- oh!.” He stood right in front of you. His eyes were dangerous, burning, focused. “I didn’t see … you …” He reached around to the back of your head and skillfully undid the makeshift mask you had created moments ago. When it was off, he took the vial in his hands and placed it onto the counter before returning his attention to you. “Are you … okay?” You asked, tracking the movements of his face as he leaned down toward you. 
His lips hovered barely over yours and the closeness of him made your heart flutter. “You are mine, are you not?” His voice rattled your bones from the intensity, it was oppressive and supportive all at the same time. 
“Y-yes?” 
His lips pressed against the corner of your mouth, “You belong to no one else?” 
“No …”
“Good.” 
It’s a good thing the instructions never said anything about, ‘consume immediately’ because you were very distracted for some time. 
-- 
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its-deputy-caleb · 3 years
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Hi! I hope you’re doing well, I really love your writing and I recently tried to come out to my family but it didn’t go as well as I’d hoped. I was wondering if you could do the four lords’ reactions to reader coming out as lesbian (it doesn’t have to be lesbian specific if you don’t want to) If you don’t feel comfortable writing this it’s totally fine, no pressure at all. And thank you for all of your work it really helps me just relax sometimes 😘
Hii, I’m so glad that my writing is able to make you feel happy! It honestly makes my day!! I’m so happy to write this for you and I feel so honoured to write this, I apologise that it’s late I wanted to write it sooner.
I’m sorry that all this has happened to you and if you ever need anything I will always be here for a listen if you need <3 just message x I also wrote this from some person experiences since I am bi and have also had bad experiences so this is just to make everyone feel loved and included!
Alcina Dimitrescu
You’re sitting on the lounge of one of the various sitting areas in Castle Dimitrescu, having tea with the Lady of the house one cold evening.
You were both enjoying each other’s company, having grown very fond of Alcina and her daughters. You’d become something like an aunt to the girls and Alcina had accepted you into her house with open arms.
The Lady Dimitrescu was currently speaking about another “man-thing” she had hidden in the dungeon when you told her about your own feelings towards women.
Your heart is practically beating in your throat as the nerves make you feel nauseous, anxiously awaiting a reaction from the Lady Dimitrescu. Your palms shaking slightly as she stopped speaking to glance at you.
Tears well in your eyes as you wonder if you’ve made a mistake, instantly going to apologise.
She takes two large steps towards you, kneeling down and takes your much smaller hands in her own. Her thumb moves in gentle circles along your knuckles as she soothes you.
“My darling, please do not cry… You’re too beautiful in your youth to be sad. Just know you will always be loved here in my castle both by my daughters and myself. No harm will come to you, I promise; I will protect you always.”
She brings her hand up to wipe a stray tear from your cheek, holding your chin up so you can look at her. Everything about her presence is calming and loving in that moment.
“All that matters in this world is your happiness, my darling, don’t let anybody take it away from you.”
She places a soft kiss to the back of your hand and uses it to bring you into a tight hug. Her arms wrap around you tightly and she holds you close, almost protecting you from the outside world.
“Come now; if you’re to be staying with us, you’ll be needing your own formal room. Besides if you stay with us you’ll find that you and I are not so different.”
You look up at her with wide eyes as she gives you a large smile and scoops you up in her arms. It’s there that she carries you to your new chambers just down the hall from her own and you continue to stay with the Lady Dimitrescu.
Each day and night she reminds you just how much you’re loved by her and her family, making sure you know just how much she cares for you no matter who you are.
Donna Beneviento
You’re standing on the porch with Donna, over looking the waterfall which her house sits next to. You notice Angie is not with her and she’s in lighter clothes than her usual layers which she wears to visit Mother Miranda.
It’s one thing you’re very happy about is Donna’s comfort around you. You two are very close and you’re the only person she feels like she can be herself even without her dolls. To her, you’re someone that makes her feel normal and safe in this crazy and chaotic world.
Much like Donna, you’ve kept to yourself, often hiding how you really feel inside but she’s someone who you’ve grown to trust with your life and who care for very deeply about.
That’s why you feel ready to finally tell her about your own feelings and who you are. Yet it doesn’t make it any less nerve racking, your friendship with Donna means everything to you and you don’t want to lose her.
She notices the way you tense up, how you focus more on the water falling to distract yourself, fiddling with your hands at the same time.
Donna leans over and rests her head on your shoulder which you relax into and place your head on hers as her arm wraps around you reassuringly.
“Angie and I still love you. No matter what, you’re still the only one who likes us. Just because you feel a certain way doesn’t change that.”
Donna’s hand squeezes every so often against your arm, a reminder that she means what she says. Her touch keeping you warm out in the cold as her words warm your heart.
Salvatore Moreau
You and Moreau have always found comfort in each other. The two of you feeling rejected by everyone in society, just wishing that someone would give you the opportunity to get to know you both better. To see the real you.
That’s what you were, inseparable and each other’s second chance to be yourselves. You were all you two had, telling each other everything and sticking by each other.
Hidden away in his reservoir was your own little world where no one could judge either of you and you could be yourselves.
That’s why with your hand in his, squeezing tightly, you decided to come out to him.
His hand squeezes back and matches your strength as he smiles at you, proud that you were able to say it.
“You’re my best friend, you know? And I will never view you any differently because you like girls, you’re braver than I could ever wish to be.”
Salvatore is captured by your ability to be yourself, especially around him. He feels honoured that you trust him with everything, even something as daunting as coming out and he makes you feel validated and respected all the time.
You’re something of a role model to him and the two of you work through all your troubles together, always relying on each other for support.
You never once had to face anything alone, no matter how hard it was for you to come out to everyone else, Salvatore was always there for you and was by your side.
Karl Heisenberg
You and Karl had an interesting friendship, something akin to the term “chalk and cheese”. He was the wild and crazy engineer, always tinkering in his workshops, working tirelessly for his revenge on Mother Miranda while you were the gentle and sweet soul who was once a member of the village.
No matter of your differences, you were both the only one you had left. You truly cared about each other. Although you both weren’t always great at saying it, you each had your moments.
After Karl told you about his childhood, the experiments he endured and the Cadou implant you both agreed to tell each other everything and he honest. Promising to be there for each other.
That’s why you knew you could come out to him and tell you how you felt deep down.
He instantly drops the hot piece of metal he was welding to draw his attention to you. Leaning in and listening to you as you told him all of what you had been hiding.
At the end of it you’re exhausted, teary eyed and in need of a hug which he gladly provides, practically crushing you as he holds you close.
“Hey now, you’re not broken like I am, there’s nothing wrong with who you are. Fuck what anyone has to say, if they want to hurt you I won’t let them okay? If they’ve got a problem with who you love they’re gonna have to deal with me. I mean it, if anyone gives you shit they’ll be fed to the lycans!”
You laugh at his little speech and he smiles when he sees you happy. Although apart of you knows he’s very serious and cares about you enough to rip anyone’s throat out for hurting you.
Karl Heisenberg was the last person you’d expect to find a friend in and yet he’d stop at nothing to make you feel loved and safe in his home.
i love all of you <3
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folklorelise · 3 years
Text
Captain’s girlfriend taking care of the kids
PART 1: here
 - Eren when his experiments fail
When you found out that Eren was a titan, you and Hange would talk about non-stop which would drive Levi crazy.
”Erwin agreed to my experiments!” Hange informed you one morning, really excited.
”Can I come please?”
”Levi’s the boss, gotta ask him.”
”He’ll say yes!” you cheered.
Hange brought you to the old survey corps headquarters which was where the experiments would take place. It was also where Levi’s squad where.
”Leviii!” you yelled happily.
”No.” Levi stated once you were beside him.
”What do you mean ‘no’?”
”I meant no you’re not supposed to be here. How did you even know about Eren?”
”Hange told me because I am their best friend! Please let me stay.” you begged him. To your luck, Levi loved you, so he agreed to it. ”But you stay behind me, I don’t want that titan touching you.”
You greeted Eren just before he went into the pit.
”Eren, you got this!”
”Thank you Y/N.” Eren answered nervously. ”You are going to be there?”
”Yes, I’ll there the whole time so don’t worry about it.”
But during the experiment Eren just couldn’t transform, no matter how hard he tried to bit his hand over and over again.
”We should stop, he’s obviously hurt.” you protested.
”It’s Hange call.” Levi explained while taking you far from Eren in case he would transform.
”Y/N! Come back please, Eren’s hands aren’t healing either.” Hange screamed.
You ran to Eren and started to put alcohol on his hand and bandage everything.
”Are you feeling alright Eren?” you asked.
”Why can’t I transform?”
But before you could say anything, Hange took Eren. Levi walked to you and took your hand in his.
”Don’t worry about him. He’s going to be fine, he’s a titan.”
”Yeah...”
That night, you brought Eren his food.
”I’m not really hungry.” Eren assured.
”You have to eat, you didn’t eat anything at lunch too so you have to now.” you said putting his tray on his bed. ”Don’t force me to feed you like I did with Jean.”
”Fine.” he laughed.
”It’s alright if you didn’t transform today.”
”I disappointed everyone! Squad leader Hange had so much faith in me and I did nothing.”
”Eren, honestly, it’s fine because you don’t know how this works. Trust me, you’re doing great.” you smiled.
”Y/N...”
”Yes?”
”I heard something earlier. Something about the Captain.”
”Oh? What about the Captain?”
”Hange said that the Captain and you are... you know.” Eren ranted.
Except for the squad leaders and the commander, no one knew Levi was in a relationship with you. You did not hide it but wouldn’t scream it on top of every roof either.
”No actually, I don’t.” you hesitated.
”Captain Levi and you are... intimate with each other.” Eren whispered the last part.
”Yeager!” Levi yelled from outside the cell startling both Eren and you.
”Captain Levi!” Eren saluted him, spilling his soup on his bed.
”Clean that mess. Y/N, Hange is asking for you.” Levi waited for you to leave before talking to Eren, ”I didn’t know you were into gossip.”
”I’m not sir, Captain, sir. I apologise!”
Levi did not say another word and left Eren alone so he could find you.
”Hange didn’t need me.” you said once Levi entered his bedroom. ”What did you say to Eren?”
”Nothing.”
”Riight. Anyway, let’s sleep because there’s nothing else we can do.”
”I can think of one thing we can do.” Levi whispered next to your ear.
 —————
 - Armin after he killed a guy to save Jean
You were fighting alongside with Levi against Kenny and his soldiers.
”I can take care of this Y/N, go back to the kids.” Levi ordered.
”I’m helping!”
When you went back to the cadets, you spotted Jean corned by one of Kenny’s pawn. You were ready to shoot the person, but a gun was fired before you could. You thought for a second that Jean was shot dead, but that unknown person collapsed right in front of Jean. You moved to where he was and found Armin with his gun still pointing toward the dead body.
”Oh...” you mumbled, ”Armin, are you okay honey?” you knelt down to him.
”I... I killed someone.” he voiced absently.
At night, you were preparing the bedrooms in the abandoned house before joining the rest of the squad outside.
”... you save Jean.” Levi said.
You looked at him asking him what they were talking about and he nodded toward Armin.
”We should all go to sleep, it has been a long day.” you suggested.
Before walking away, you made sure Jean was doing great and then you went to see Armin. He was sitting in the corridor, holding his gun as if his life depended on it. You sat down next to him and he automatically rested his head on your shoulder.
”You did great today. You saved your friend’s life.” you tried to cheer him up.
”Levi said the same thing.”
”Levi’s never wrong.”
”I...” Armin started after a long pause, ”I constantly feel like I’m going to puke and I can’t sleep because every time I close my eyes, I see myself pulling the trigger.” he finished sobbing. You circled your arms around him and told him it was going to be fine.
”Do you want me to stay so you could sleep?”
”I- you have to sleep with the Captain though...”
”You can come in our bedroom then, I think there a couch there.” you cheered softly.
”Captain Levi wouldn’t agree.” Armin guessed.
”Don’t worry I’m sure he’ll say yes.”
—————
”What? No!” Levi shouted.
”Oh my! Not that loud! Armin is just outside!” you shouted back just as loud, ”but please say yes.”
”Is he supposed to sleep between us or something?”
”I was thinking about... hm, how do I put this delicately?” you asked yourself, ”I was thinking you should sleep on the couch because it might be uncomfortable for him to sleep with you.” you said cautiously.
Levi stared at you without smiling, saying ‘are you serious?’. Armin at this moment came in the bedroom worried.
”I don’t to be the cause of a fight, I can sleep with the others, it’s fine!” Armin inquired.
”Fine.” Levi sighed, ”but I’m not sleeping on that that thing.” he showed the old couch.
”The bed’s big, it’s fine!”
You were in the middle while Armin was on your left and Levi on your right. Armin fell asleep rather quickly while you and Levi were still awake.
”So that’s how my life’s going to look like? You and these kids?” Levi stated.
”They won’t be needing me anymore in a few years, so then it’s going to be just you and I. How does that sound?”
”Great. Sounds great to me.” he answered while spooning you. ”Are you really spooning Armin?” Levi asked you.
”Yeah, it’s more comfortable for the three of us, believe me.”
 —————
 - The night after Armin was captured as Historia (after that weirdo who said weird things and touched my boi)
When you found Jean and Armin, you kicked that old pervert in the balls and threw in far away from Armin. That same night, you found him crying silently outside of your tent. You and Levi sat down beside him.
”You did great.” Levi told him.
”I’m sorry you had to go through that.” you said.
”I think he’s asleep,” Levi started, ”That boy falls asleep so quickly when you’re here, it’s insane”
”Should we just sleep here?”
Levi ended up carrying Armin to his tent and you and Levi stayed with him, because neither of you could sleep anyway. Through the middle of the night, Jean opened Armin’s tent slightly and you came out.
”What’s wrong?” you asked worried.
”I just wanted to make sure Armin was alright.”
”He’s asleep which is great. You can’t sleep either?” you saw that Jean just looked away blushing, ”come, there’s enough place for a giant like you.” you joked.
When you came back Armin was awake.
”Why aren’t you sleeping?” you asked to which he responded with a shrug. ”Let’s all go back to sleep, and that includes you too Levi.”
Levi was right when he said that his life would the kids as long as you were there.
 —————
 - After the serum had to be given to Armin
Hange was screaming that Erwin had to have the serum. Mikasa and Eren were screaming that Armin should have it instead. While they were screaming, you were silently crying over Erwin’s almost dead body. Levi looked at you and for a second he thought about given Erwin the serum, but in the end, he gave it to Armin. When Levi made his move, you broke down crying, you were a mess.
You knew Levi had a special bond with Erwin and giving the serum to someone else was a hard choice. On top of that, Erwin was one of your closest friends. Which meant that you knew about his goal of discovering the secret about titans. And knowing how close he was to fulfil his dream broke your heart. Hange was beside you, on their knees beside Erwin. Very soon after, Levi joined the two of you.
”Y/N,” Levi started, ”I-”
”W-we have... we have to bury hi-his body.” you said sobbing uncontrollably, ”we can’t... we can’t just let him here.”
”Y/N, we still have to go to the basement.” Hange explained while you refused to let go of Erwin.
”I can stay here, I can wait for you to come back.” you chocked on your words.
That night, you hardly had any sleep. Levi holds you in his arms the whole night. By the morning, you had stopped crying, there were no tears left to cry.
”Do you want to go and eat?” Levi asked you.
”Not hungry.”
”I’m still going to grab some bread for us.”
The day passed too slowly for you, you stayed in the infirmary the whole day, but no one needed help - almost every member of the survey corps were dead anyway. But someone still knock on your door late in the afternoon. Before you could answer, the door opened on Armin. None of you talked - you could only assume that Eren and Mikasa filled him in about what happen.
”I can’t replace Commander Erwin.” Armin whispered. ”Please don’t hate me.” he faltered.
”What? I could never hate any of you! How — why would even think that?” you yelled.
”Erw—”
”Erwin’s dead yes, I know! But— all that matters is that you are here, and I’m glad you are.” you calmed down. ”I’m glad you’re still alive.”
Armin came running toward you and hugged you so tight that you could hardly breath.
”I thought you’d hate me.” Armin confessed.
”I would never because I love you.”
  - Reunion with Reiner
When you heard Gabi saying that Reiner had passed out, you follow her without saying anything. She showed you the house where Reiner was, and you opened the door slowly. He was on the ground, wrapped up in an old and thin blanket.
”Reiner?” you asked softly next to his ear, ”wake up and tell me if you’re hurt somewhere, Gabi told me you couldn’t heal properly.”
He groaned and opened his eyes. The last time you saw him was during the Shiganshina attack he planned with Bertolt and Zeke.
”I-”
”Reiner, are you alright?” Gabi asked worried.
”I just need to rest.” Reiner answer looking away from your stare.
You sat down and put Reiner’s head on your lap so he would be more comfortable.
”Sleep a bit before the others come, then we’ll move again.” you told him.
”I’m sorry.” Reiner whispered. He turned his head toward your stomach and curled up on himself. He was so afraid that you reject him after what he did, but he was one of your kids — you could never throw them away when they needed you.
—————
  RANDOM HCs
- Sasha would always ask you for your food because she knew you could never refuse.
- You always helped Connie take care of his mother after she was turned into a titan.
- One of your ritual with Armin would be reading together at night, before sleep. After hearing your stories from when he was sick during the training days, he never got tired of hearing them.
- Mikasa teaching you combat skills because she does not want you to die during expeditions.
- Once during training years, you tried to separate Jean and Eren and received a punch from Eren. They apologised a lot and you said it was fine, but Levi was so mad he almost went there himself to kick their butts.
- Reiner, Bertolt and Annie feeling bad because you were always so nice toward them. Plus, when you saw Annie again, you just hugged her and told her you were glad she was back.
  —————
MASTERLIST
NEXT POST IS GOING TO BE: that one time the kids called you ”mom” and that one time Jean called Captain Levi ”dad” —> really excited to write this one :D
Also, yes it was a lot of Armin but when I made my rough drafts of ideas, it was a lot of Armin. Also (x2) shorter than expected but yeah, wanted to get this out of my system before writting something else, hope you guys liked it though :) also (x3) it did looked better in my mind
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my ultimate guide to thiam fic !!
( as a new teen wolf stan )
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the classic post war, long ass (multi chapter) fic !!with great development that genuinely made me laugh out loud, they have the best friendship in this & i love it very much. ( like theo teaches liam to drive and i just *happy sobs* ) a fundamental in thiam fanfiction !! all stans have probably already read it but if you haven’t this is in fact a threat ,, go show this vv iconic story some love !!
Airplanes - Captainmintyfresh
Summary: After the Anuk-ite and the hunters are dealt with Liam needs a break. Cue Theo and a road trip that Liam should know better than to think will be peaceful.
Not Rated, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, 43/43 Chapters, Words: 236,875 (236k)
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okay okay so this one is also post 6B !! but ,, now we introduce fighting monroe & the hunters again ,, so we get the boys & a new mission !! so if you like an intresting plot 11/10 would recommend !! just to be clear this ISN’T complete ,, if that turns you off i understand but definitely give this one a read !! it litterally have theo doing crossword puzzles & fighting zombies
Vacancy Signs - LovelyLittleGrim
Summary: Theo and Liam are in Manhattan negotiating a pack allyship when the zombie apocalypse breaks out. Now, the two of them have to find their way back to Beacon Hills without getting eaten by zombies or killing one another.
Rated: Explicit, Graphic Description of Violence, Not Completed, 15/17 Chapters, Words: 89,605 (89k)
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Royalty AU !! I REPEAT ROYALTY AU !! a fantastic au where i stan their moms more than i stan them !! genuinely so good at the childhood rivals to lovers trope !! i’m genuinely obsessed with this one. has made me cry more than once ,, hurts in a good way <3 the ending is just *chefs kiss* also one of the tags is genuinely: # theo and liam make bad choices for over 130k straight !! if that doesn’t sound appealing i don’t know what does !!
Artificial Love - songbvrd
Summary: Prince Theo and Prince Liam are forced to spend every Summer together from age five onwards. They hate each other, and usually find ways to make each other miserable as much as possible in their six weeks together. But when they're reunited because of intended unions as adults, things change. They're both supposed to be married to noble women, but neither of them is as interested in anyone else as they are with their childhood rival.
Rated: Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, Chapters: 32/32, Words: 172,935 (172k)
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so if you are in the mood for a crack fic that’s not explicitally a crack fic this is for you !! okay so i’m really hit or miss with AU’s ,, sometimes i feel like they don’t quite capture the characters right but this story have the BEST dramatic liam i have ever seen in my life !! basically they all live in the same apartment building & it’s fantastic !! i saw this one floating around a lot but the summary didn’t really unrest me until i have it a shot !! so go read it rn !! also nolan & brett are genuinely fantastic and make me wheeze ,, LIKE ACTUALLY VERBALLY LAUGHING !! all i’m gonna say is that my fav characters are scott & the beetles but that won’t make actual sense until you read it !!
The Neighbors Song - TheodoreR
Summary: “I always hear you singing on your balcony every morning, but suddenly you’ve stopped?”
Or the one where Theo annoys Liam every morning with his awful singing until he doesn’t anymore and Liam is even more annoyed. Liam hates every single thing about his mornings -the fact that they happen in the morning alone is enough. The thing Liam hates the most about his mornings though is the terrible voice of the guy who lives below him. He can’t sing for shit and Liam tried to politely let him understand that by throwing flour and water on his balcony, and also by shouting it to him, you can’t sing for shit!, and then by writing it into a note he proceeded to attach to his door, but this Raeken guy just keeps doing it, every single morning, like a fucking rooster. Liam did nothing to deserve this. He probably didn’t do anything to deserve better either to be fair, he doesn’t expect to open his window and be welcomed by some angelic voice singing him good morning, he’d just be happy with nothing. Silence. That’s something Liam can appreciate in mornings. Just some bark from his dog and the sound of his misery and that’s it. But no, god forbid the new guy lets him have that.
Rated: Explicit, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Wanrings, Completed, 8/8 Chapters, Words: 42,814 (42k)
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me: i’m not a big fan of AU’s ,, proceeds to talk about ANOTHER au… OKAY BUT THIS ONE !! it’s not complete but the author has been updating regularly ,, vv slow burn !! but in a REALLY intresting way !! i lOVE LIAM IN THIS SO MUCH ,, he is such a diaster of a person and it’s wonderful !! they have a great dynamic & i’m sucker for general puppy pack content ( and erica reyes being a badass ) !! also theo plays lacrosse in this & i really like it ahhhhh ,, also liam is just being an artic monkeys stan the whole time & theo is like *que confused repressed gay noises*
Inglorious Roommates - honeyscape
Summary: A roommate is defined as “a person with whom one shares a room.”
Theo would say a roommate was more along the lines of, “The person who's the bane of his existence. The weirdo that sleeps for days. The spaz that exercises at 3am. The guy with a revolving door of annoying friends. An insufferable human being that Theo has no control over living in his room.”
Example: Theo hates his roommate Liam.
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okay okay i hate myself but i have another WIP for y’all !! this one is jUST FANTASTIC. i’m genuinely so upset it’s most likely not going to updated again *incoherent screaming ensues*. for this story ,, it’s very theo-centric bUT thats bc it ends right before liam becomes a concrete member of the story !! ANYWAY: basic plot = theo & acquiring not one but two children ,, so #dad theo but he is still crusty & homeless and i love him very much. it’s just so GOOD !! just read if you want to experience my fav theo coming out story & him etching high school musical
Look who's talking - Captainmintyfresh
Summary: Theo had been labeled many things in his life. Evil, failure, monster. He'd never thought Father would be one of those things but as he looked across the table to a six year old with blue smears of bubble gum icecream across her face trying to coax the first words out of her sister. Finger jabbing towards Theo's face as she repeated 'Daddy' again and again he couldn't bring himself to dispute the label.
(Theo accidentally adopts two young werewolves)
Not Rated, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings, Not Completed, Chapters: 16/?, Words: 48740 ( 48k )
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so here me out: post-canon ( poetry like angst ) summer get away !! just the boys doing cute little domestic things together whilst pining !! theo’s guilt in this is just so powerful & aGjffkgkkfkvkdlv !! i think it’s so interesting to see how they interact in this one, it’s just very heart warming !! and it features one of my favorite niche teen wolf tropes of theo being great with like seven year old girls- it’s just so good ,, very much a wonderful little one shot that just makes your heart happy.
(next time i see you you'll show me) a hundred different ways to say the same things - cherrysprite
Summary: “...You deserve good things,” Liam says eventually. He makes sure not to look at Theo even though he can feel his eyes turn on him. Somehow he can already tell that Theo doesn’t believe him.
Liam instantly makes that the goal of this summer - making Theo believe him.
Rating: Teen and Up, No Archive Warnings Apply, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 28875 ( 28k )
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okay so this next section of fic recs is a bit different !!
two of my favorite authors !! and a compilation of fics i’ve read by them both !!
for context: these two have written some genuinely gorgeous fics, like pure poetry, they explore the real gritty & scary side of our boys relationship in such a wonderful way. they’ve both used some of my favorite tropes & i love them very much !!
whenever i need something soothing but so genuinely intresting & enticing these are my go to !! ( also they both write a lot of good nolan angst & some vv good fics with hayden )
go check out:
eneiryu
as well as fallingforboys
here are some of my favorite fics by them ~
darling i want you here in my arms (kiss the pain away, i know you can) - fallingforboys
even before you touched me, i belonged to you (all you had to do was look at me) - fallingforboys
memories linger like tattoo scars (but your touch on my skin is just as permanent) - fallingforboys
skin, bones, a stolen heart, and an ugly creature lurking underneath -fallingforboys
i don't know how to breathe in the place i called home - fallingforboys
whisper your gossamer truths into the shadow, maybe you'll find the answers you're searching for - fallingforboys
between the mountains and the valley we built a monument to our regret - eneiryu
cracked the hinges of the cage and waited for you - eneiryu
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okay and finally: since i am a self centered whore
my own fic: an rendition of the # elevator scene
it’s basically my version of post canon if we did get the kiss in the elevator. we got a classic liam pov in which he is has 12/10 for extreme bi diaster energy even whilst being shot at !! so go him ig…
Fuck Off, Fuck This & Fuck It! - nefelibata_peach
Summary: Liam thought to himself heart rate climbing, they were bound to be dead by morning. So he thought with everything but his brain and he kissed him.
Where Liam Dunbar is very confused, slightly traumatized, and just a bit scared but hey, aren't they all! Bad decisions ensue as two boys fight in a war they never did sign up for.
Rating: Teen and Up, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 3558 ( 3k )
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