#and now im 10 minutes into my first class of the day. and im sitting on my bed in my robe not even dressed from the shower

[cassarson]

Do any of y'all have adhd and bipolar or know of any good accounts of what having both is like? I've noticed that I've been having some seriously abnormal moods recently, and the more I look into it, the more I think that it looks a lot like bipolar, but I'm not sure how it would interact with my adhd, or even if there's anything other than my adhd going on at all. Feel free to DM me if you don't want to talk about it publicly

[foxcassius]

i've been really onto something with the sporadic 10-minute writing sprints honestly. since i started doing them a week and a half ago my piece is already 7k and there have been more days where i've written nothing at all than i thought would get me to 7k. turns out age-old writing tactics actually work...who'd've thunk

[zreamy]

i'll love you forever

pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader

summary: you were sunghoon's first everything; first friend, first love, and first heartbreak. after years of quietly crushing on you, he was finally ready to confess. so ready to confess, that he told his parents the two of you were already dating! it was an easy enough lie to keep up and he kept it up for months, what could possibly go wrong? he thought. little did he know, you would have a falling out and stop talking for months.. and then, you'd both get invited to spend a week at home with his parents, who still believe you're his girlfriend.

genre: smut, fluff, angst, college au, childhood best friends to lovers, fake dating

warnings: minors dni, fake dating is pretty mild (sorry), she kinda doesn’t rate him at the start, these two kind of exist in a vacuum a little bit idk i had a self-enforced word count to stick to and broke it.. (im within the 10% allowance !), sunghoon in a vest, sunghoon arms, sunghoon

word count: 21,858

playlist: click here.. (for my non-spotify babes, the main song is light by wave to earth (which for some reason i put last.. whatever))

author's note: for silly @asahicore. happy birthday pooks i hope it's amazing and that u enjoy reading this when u have the time !!! LOL (lots of love) also im never writing without telling you things again this was so absurd.

to everyone else.. ok happy reading also emma did not beta read this so im sure it's missing its charm .. anyway it's for emma not you 😭 anyway i hope u enjoy regardless and lmk ur thoughts! omg this is the first fic im nervous about posting.......... please enjoy or else.

In the three years since Park Sunghoon moved away for university, he’d been doing a pretty good job of going home to see his parents. They’d welcome their baby back to the nest with open arms and wide grins. With a rehearsed level of indifference, his younger sister, Yeji, would say, “Oh, I didn’t know you were coming home this weekend.” when she saw him at the dinner table. Sunghoon pretended to only be marginally hurt by this. 

In the last three months, he hasn’t so much as sent a text to his parents. 

Or to you. 

Ignoring texts from his mother is devastating. Between classes, he watches as, “Hi, sweetie, I love you 😍,” turns into, “Missing you, honey, know you must be busy but spare some time for your old mummy, no?” which turns into, “Getting really worried now, are you doing okay? Has something happened with YN? Talk to me, I love you, my baby boy!” 

Ignoring texts from you is easy because texts from you never come. 

Sitting at the end of his bed, Sunghoon rereads a text his mother sent a few minutes ago: Please talk to me, son. Really worried and YN isn’t answering calls either. What’s going on with you two?

When he leaves his room, he finds Jake lying on the couch, and with his keys in hand, Sunghoon says, “I’m going home.” 

And the drive is great! At least, he tells his mum it is. In truth, the drive home without you was nearly impossible. Your ever-expanding home time playlist buzzed through the speakers in his car, but without you there to screech along to the songs, it wasn’t the same. He felt your absence the most when he stopped to get petrol and you weren’t there behind him struggling to carry enough snacks to feed a small family without offering to pay. 

The look of worry on his mum’s face stirs a pit in his stomach. “Why are you so quiet these days? God, you look so tired,” she says, frowning. “Is it school? Or something with YN? It’s not like her not to text back.” Her brows crease as she whispers the word unless. She pulls him into a hug, her chin resting perfectly on his shoulder, and her comforting hand strokes the hair on the back of his head. “Breakups are never easy, honey. I’m so sorry, I know how much you love her.” 

Breakups are never easy. The sentence hangs heavy over his head. 

Whether she knows it or not, she’s handed him a get-out-of-jail-free card, the opportunity to set things straight, to end this mess once and for all. No further questions, and most importantly, no more lies. 

For the first time since he left your flat three months ago, Sunghoon lets himself cry. He’d imagined this moment countless times, his first cry since you ended things. In his mind, it was always intense. Today, as it happens, only a few salty tears leak from his eyes, spilling onto the cuff of his sleeve, darkening the blue cotton in tiny indigo splotches. 

“We didn’t break up,” he says in a small voice—for some reason. “I’m just having a hard time.” Neither statement is technically untrue, but the words taste rotten in his mouth.

The tightening grip of his mum’s arms around his body is what brings on the harsh, shoulder-racking sobs he’d been anticipating. For a while, they stand like this, Sunghoon weeping into his mum’s cardigan until she sends him upstairs to lie down, promising a cup of tea that never comes. 

His childhood bedroom is chilly, so he changes into clothes he left behind and climbs into bed, pulling his duvet up to his chin. He turns his head to look at the walls and the room around him, everything is exactly where he left it in the summer. It should be comforting, but it’s weird to be home without you. 

There are photos of you and him everywhere, growing up and around each other through different stages of life. The two of you together during the summer your family moved in next door, you wore glasses back then and were the first friend he’d made in his life. Sunbathing and sharing earphones at the beach, listening to music together on your iPod classic. Sunghoon in thick glasses with a stiff smile and your arm around him on the first day of high school. Wide grins at the start of this summer, the last time things were okay between you. 

Overwhelmed, he stares up at the ceiling, only realising he’s crying when a hot tear slips from his eyes to tickle his ear. Because Sunghoon likes to upset himself, he screws his eyes shut and thinks about the night before you stopped talking. 

Though he didn’t know it at the time, you’d left Yeonjun’s place to sit with him in a tiny restaurant on campus, the one you’d only visit to toast to each other’s heartbreaks. It had become a ritual — ever since your first year boyfriend dumped you after two weeks — to cry as much as you wanted and drink as much soju as your bodies could handle before stumbling back to your apartments. 

Having spent years suffering from an unrequited crush on his best friend, Sunghoon was always the one to comfort you. But that night was different; you were there to comfort him. It was easy enough to play the part of ‘boy whose crush likes someone else’ because he spent your entire friendship in that role. He’d had no problem accepting his fate, but his composure started to slip when you met Yeonjun. It was the first time you’d dated someone who Sunghoon had reason to be jealous of. In every way, Yeonjun was better than him—taller, funnier, hotter. Sunghoon knew he didn’t stand a chance. He took it personally, you liking Yeonjun instead of him, and let his jealousy consume him from the inside out. 

This jealousy led him to start telling you about Minjeong—lying to you about Minjeong, and his feelings for her. She was a girl from a college out of town that he saw on his Instagram Explore page. He followed her by accident, and by some stroke of luck, she followed back. Sunghoon didn’t really have feelings for her — he didn’t even know her — but she was a girl that you didn’t know, so you wouldn’t be able to meddle. 

It only took a few weeks for Sunghoon to become so upset about your relationship that he couldn’t hide his emotions anymore. So, in a fit of tears, he told you over the phone that things ended badly with Minjeong, and he was in urgent need of a soju ceremony. 

But the night was missing its usual comforts.

It was strange to be the one crying, to see you looking put together and ordering the food. To see you pouring the drinks and raising your glass to propose a toast to ‘Hoonie’s first heartbreak’. You were driving that night, so you only had a tiny sip of soju and let him drink as much as he needed, the way he always did for you, at the same table, in the same restaurant for years. 

Hours later, in your car, you entertained his drunken rambles, though he remembers how your lips were set into a frown that he wanted to kiss away while you gripped the steering wheel like you thought it would run from you. Sunghoon was more drunk than he’d been in a while, drunk enough to let you sling his arm over your shoulders and keep him upright until you reached his flat. 

The voices coming from Yeji’s room disrupt the memory. He’s thankful.

“Your brother’s going through something, so be nice to him this weekend.” His mother’s voice is her version of hushed—a loud whisper. 

Yeji’s response is harder to make out, but he doesn’t miss the way their mum says, “I mean it, missy.” 

A dramatic sigh rumbles through Yeji as she barges into his room without knocking. Sunghoon sits up, feeling an ache in his back and crossing his legs. 

“Mum told me to lay off you today, which is fine, but before I do, I need to tell you something.” 

Yeji pushes the door shut behind her, and the open window makes it slam, both of them flinching from the sudden noise. She pulls her hair out of a silk scrunchie and throws herself on the floor. A pang of irritation forms in his chest, knowing that he could immediately find the empty hanger in his wardrobe where the shirt she’s wearing used to live. 

“I hate you and your perfect golden boy image, Hoon. Would it kill you to fail a class for once? I don’t know how I’m supposed to carry on your legacy.” She’s looking up at him, her chin in her hands and irritation written in the crease between her thick brows. 

It’s impossible to know if it’s because of Yeji’s complete lack of boundaries or the fact that her ‘perfect, golden boy’ big brother is on track to fail three out of three classes and get cut from the hockey team, but Sunghoon immediately bursts into tears. 

“Oh, uh.. I’m sorry?” Yeji offers. “I was kidding if that helps.” 

“I’m alright, it’s okay.” The tears don’t stop stinging his eyes. “Why do you want me to change everything about myself?” 

With a frown, Yeji pours out her frustration and mild resentment. She doesn’t understand how Sunghoon effortlessly conquers every aspect of life while she struggles. Neither do their parents, who had been baffled by her plummeting grades since she moved to boarding school, especially when Sunghoon’s academic performance has only soared since he left for university. The weight of this perceived injustice pulls Sunghoon’s shoulders down with guilt as she talks about the expectations he has inadvertently set for her. 

“But other than that, I’m good.” She shrugs, sitting with her legs out, and leaning back on her palms. “How’s YN?” she asks. It’s clear from the brightness in her voice that she thinks she’s helping. 

Sunghoon cries again. 

Back on campus, he’s trying to scrape together what’s left of his academic career with the help of two of the smartest guys he knows, and their friend Jay. Though the word ‘friend’ feels a little strong at the moment given the way Jay’s goading him. 

Sunghoon rolls his eyes, sitting back in his seat. “There’s nothing you can do that I can’t,” he says, meaning every word. 

Jay scoffs, shrugging and raising his brow in a way that, over the years, Sunghoon knows to interpret as his ‘about to say something ridiculous’ look. “Pretty sure I could call YN right now, and she’d answer.” 

There’s a pit in Sunghoon’s stomach as Heeseung turns his head in the other direction like he’s been slapped, trembling with stifled laughter. At least Jake doesn’t hide his amusement, throwing his head back in a fit of giggles that draw nasty looks from the other students in the library. Sunghoon doesn’t waste his energy trying to argue because Jay’s right.

Now composed, Heeseung turns back to the table, flipping through some of Sunghoon’s course materials to find whatever his class was doing in class that week. The English Literature class he’s taking — The Modernist Movement: Joyce, Woolf, and Hemingway — is the same class he had to send a million emails over the summer to get enrolled in, but it’s the same one Heeseung aced two years ago. Lucky for him none of the boys seem to be in the mood to make fun of him for trying so hard to have a class in common with you, and then practically failing out of it before the term had started properly.

“This class is, like, beyond easy, dude.” Heeseung pauses to sniffle and twist the stud in his ear. “Everyone in my class aced it. How are you doing so badly already?” 

“I only took it because YN thought it’d be fun if we had a class together, but.. I kind of haven’t been going since we stopped talking.” Sunghoon shrugs, pretending to be unaffected. 

As if the mere mention of your name has some sort of summoning power, like saying Biggie Smalls in the mirror three times, you appear in his eye line, rounding the corner with a furious stride. Your demeanour crumbles when Jay waves at you, and you grin, waving back, but as soon as you look Sunghoon in the eye again, the rage comes back, and you smack a hand on the table when you reach it, leaning over to him. 

“Sunghoon, a word?” you ask.

He thinks you’re asking, but it’s hard to tell with the way you set your jaw afterwards, and the way the warmth of your signature vanilla scent hits him hard. Dazed, Sunghoon lifts a hand, pointing at himself. “Me?” 

“Does anyone else at the table answer to Sunghoon?” 

“Okay,” he says, somewhat pathetically, nudging Jay for laughing at him. 

As slowly as possible, Sunghoon pushes his chair from the table and stands up, following you to the corner of the references section where only anthropology students in scratchy thrift store knits, and Jay, come to check out encyclopaedias by volume. You look good, save for the rage written all over your face—which, honestly, Sunghoon thinks he likes.

Sunghoon isn’t sure what to expect, so he says, “Hey.” He’s being cautious, waiting a moment to gauge your reaction. “What’s gooooood?” His cheeks burn as soon as he closes his mouth around the vowel, but you laugh. You laugh, and it’s beautiful and happy, and you’re laughing because of him—or at him, but he’s glad either way. 

Annoyance quickly clears all traces of amusement on your face. “Were you ever going to tell me we’re spending next week at Mum and Dad’s?” you ask. 

Sunghoon gasps dramatically, clicking his fingers. “I knew there was something I’ve been meaning to do.” 

His attempt at lightening the mood falls flat, and you only nudge his shoulder gently, sighing. “Can you be serious? For once in your life, even for a second, can you please think about how the things you say affect me?” You’re frowning, crossing your arms over your chest and looking at your feet. “It’s not fair, Sunghoon. For you to keep saying things—making plans involving me and then acting like I’m the bad guy when I turn you down.” 

“I don’t think you’re the bad guy at all,” Sunghoon admits. “If anyone is in the wrong, it’s me, I guess.”

You scoff, looking at him like you hate him. “You guess? Are you serious?” You look furious, but you sound hurt and Sunghoon hates it. Hates himself. “I can’t have this conversation with you right now. Tell mum I’m sick, and it’s contagious.” You roll your eyes and walk away, leaving Sunghoon alone with his thoughts and judgemental stares from students in crochet scarves so long they graze the floor. 

He sighs, slumping against the wall. How does he keep getting it wrong with you? 

Back at the table, Sunghoon manages to act like he’s not falling apart and makes some serious headway on his missing assignments with Heeseung’s help before they call it a day as the sun starts to set. 

When he gets home, he lies down on his bedroom floor, spending hours poring over the conversation you had. Over the minute changes in your facial expression, the tone of your voice, and the endless list of things he should have done, rather than watch you walk away. 

The moment feels familiar, both identical to and worlds apart from what happened after you left three months ago. When he managed to scrape the last shreds of his dignity from the kitchen table, he dragged his feet to his room and lay down like he is now, face to the rug. That day, he left his door open and lay so still that Jake thought he was dead. Sunghoon remembers wishing he had been. 

For once in your life, even for a second, can you please think about how the things you say affect me? The words run on a loop in his mind, over and over, until he can’t remember the order of the sentence or where you put emphasis. They’re cutting all the same. 

Sunghoon sighs into the itchy fibres of his black rug before rolling onto his back. In the diminishing purple light of the setting sun. he looks at the walls of his room. At the Fleetwood Mac poster, he stole from Jay when they moved out of their first year dorm, that curls away from the wall towards the ceiling—a diagonal strip of shiny tape being the only indication of the otherwise invisible tear through the face of Stevie Nicks. 

He’s glad when his phone rings, cutting through the quiet, though the sight of your name and the anatomical heart emoji next to it only dampens his spirit. Reluctantly, Sunghoon answers the phone, holding it to his ear. 

“I just got off the phone with Dad..” You trail off. Tangible silence follows, so thick it weighs on his chest. “I’ll go home with you.” 

“You will?” 

“Yes. Goodbye.” 

Sunghoon reaches your flat at five in the evening. You don’t smile when you open the door for him, nor do you invite him in. Instead, you dump your bag at your feet and he cringes, looking from the floor to you. You’re aggressively beautiful and cosy-looking as you pull a jacket over the sweater you wore that night. Sunghoon’s heart aches in his chest and he wonders if you even realise. Suddenly, the memory of the last thing you said the morning after hits him like a truck: Then let’s not be friends at all. 

A familiar weight lands on his shoulder—your hand. Concern lines your eyes as you ask if he’s okay. 

With a lump in his throat, Sunghoon nods. 

In the discomfort of his car, the two of you sit in silence while he starts the drive home. 

“How’s Yeonjun,” he asks, eyes flicking towards you but regretting it immediately when he sees how you clench your jaw. 

“No,” you say simply, shaking your head. “You don’t get to ask me about him.” 

These are the only words you exchange until Sunghoon stops for petrol. He has enough fuel for the rest of the journey, but he feels like dying and thinks the fresh air might quell his thoughts of running his car off the road. Like always, the two of you get out and head into the kiosk, where he follows you wordlessly through the aisles, watching you debate on snack choices before settling on the same things you always get. Sunghoon pays for your snacks and you roll your eyes but don’t protest, mumbling thanks as you take them into your arms, leading the way back outside.

He knows he needs to tell you before you reach the house, but he’s not entirely sure how to say it—so he just does. “My, uh.. my parents think we’re dating.”

You stop so suddenly in front of him that he almost bumps into you. Stepping around you, Sunghoon keeps walking. 

Over the top of his car, he watches your face cycle through all five stages of grief until anger comes back around in the loop as you scoff. “Why do they think that?” Your face is devoid of expression now, the blankness over your features dragging a sharp chill over his spine. 

He stares blankly at you, processing. “Because I told them we’re dating,” he mumbles. 

“Why did you.. do that?” You tilt your head, eyes pressing shut in a long blink. “What are you even talking about? Why did you.. What?” 

A thin layer of sweat coats his palms despite the cold. Why did he do that? “We can stage a breakup during the trip or say we broke up right now,” Sunghoon offers. “Just one night, YN, please.” 

The wind whistles by, ruffling your hair and jacket that you hug tightly to your chest. Behind you, Sunghoon takes note of the group of girls standing by the pumps, all five of them jerking their heads abruptly when they notice him watching, suddenly finding interest in the scattered litter and flickering halogen bulbs in the steel canopy over their heads. 

You’re staring when he looks back at you, nostrils twitching with a sniffle before you sigh. “Or we could say that you’re a liar and end things there,” you say. “Or better yet, you go down there on your own and tell them the truth.”

Sunghoon’s gaze drops, his thoughts racing in his mind. He knows you’re right. At some point, his parents will have to find out, and it’d be better for them to find out now. Sunghoon sighs, nodding. “Alright,” he concedes. “I’ll take you back.”

An angry laugh comes out of you as you shake your head. “No need, I’ll walk.” 

The station you’re at is neatly nestled in the middle of nowhere, on a road so narrow he’s not even sure it has a pavement. You’re halfway through the three-hour drive, so there’s no telling how long the walk would be, never mind the fact that the sun is already setting and it’s deep enough into October for the wind to sting. 

“From here?” he asks, incredulous. 

“Yes, open the boot so I can get my bag.” 

Sunghoon can only bring himself to say your name, a desperate whisper. 

“Open the boot.”

He repeats your name as if it’ll make a difference, he’s pleading with you, begging—though he doesn’t know for what. 

You go to the back of his car where Sunghoon joins you, a pit in his stomach when you step away. With misty eyes, you look up at him and his heart breaks. “Please.”

Sunghoon knows you well enough to know that you’re not actually going to attempt the walk home but also knows that you won’t back down if he keeps challenging you. He nods, opening the boot for you and getting into the driver’s seat—your move. 

You stand there, unmoving, and long enough passes that he thinks you’ll actually leave. The boot closes softly and you join him in the passenger seat. You sigh, buckling your seatbelt. “Let’s just get this over with.” 

For the rest of the journey, you sit in silence as Sunghoon briefs you on the relationship, fighting a smile as he thinks about being your boyfriend—even if only for a night. You scoff when he ‘reminds’ you that you’ve been together for four months now and the only reason you haven’t been able to come home recently is that your schedules don’t match up very well anymore—which couldn’t be further from the truth as, before term started, you went out to celebrate the fact that your class schedules couldn’t be more suited for seeing each other. 

Finally, at Sunghoon’s childhood home, the two of you smile and laugh for his parents before going to bed. Your relationship has only made his mother more averse to the idea of you sharing a room under her roof than she had been when you were younger. He’s relieved about this, and in the solitude of his bedroom, he lies on the duvet of his twin bed, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about the last few hours. 

With his parents, you’d sat up in the living room watching TV. They sat on the couch together, his mum nestled in his dad’s side, while you two sat on the couch opposite, mirroring their position. If your complete stiffness was anything to go by, you were less than comfortable with his arm around you and Sunghoon felt terrible for begging you to go along with this. It was after midnight when you all went upstairs and you let him kiss your forehead before all but slamming the door to the guest room in his face. His heart twirled and his mum beamed at him before saying goodnight again. 

Now, at 3 a.m. he can’t sleep. Flinching at the knock on his door, he furrows his brows and goes to open it. It’s you. Standing there with your hair scraped away from your face in one of his t-shirts. Your eyes are red, brimmed with tears as you step into his room and sit on his bed. 

He closes the door softly, heart aching at the sight of you so upset, and when he sits next to you, his heart tears apart because you move over, putting a distance between you. It falls out of his chest onto the floor when he realises you’re not wearing your necklace. 

Sunghoon suspected you might have stopped wearing it, it only made sense that if you didn’t want him, you wouldn’t want the necklace he bought for you either, but at least earlier, your sweatshirt sat so high he couldn’t see if you had it on or not. 

It was a gift for your sixteenth birthday, after your first heartbreak. He was so upset and angry that you let some loser hurt you that way, upset and angry that someone could be loved by you and fuck it up. Sunghoon was inspired by Jay, who’d gotten a pretty necklace for his girlfriend, and talked about her cute reaction for weeks, how happy she was to have a piece of him with her all the time. It was a locket, with a picture of Jay in one side and a picture of her in the other so the pictures would kiss when she wore it. 

While at the jewellers with Jake, Sunghoon thought something like that might be a bit much for the two of you and eventually picked out an equally pretty piece with his first initial on it. He wrote a corny note to put in the box, something about how ‘boys come and go but Sunghoon is forever’ and gave it to you with trembling hands a few nights later—it was the first time he ever made you cry. Immediately, he thought he’d done something wrong and was ready to snatch the box and run back to the jewellers (even though he trashed the receipt). You hugged him and told him you loved him. Sunghoon’s been riding that high ever since. 

Until tonight at least. 

“Are you okay?” he whispers. 

“I’ll do it, Hoon.” Your eyes lift from the floor to meet his gaze. “For as long as you need me to, I’ll pretend.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, Sunghoon feels lighter, an unbearable weight slipping from his shoulders. You haven’t called him ‘Hoon’ in ages, and he can’t tell if you’ve said it out of vulnerability, or even noticed that you’ve said it at all, but it warms his heart nonetheless. However, he’s not fully at ease, still curious about your sudden change of heart and why you’re crying. 

“What happened?”

You pull him into a hug, and his eyes bulge out of his head. “It doesn’t matter,” you say, the words muffled by the skin at the base of his neck. 

For as long as he’s known you, you’ve smelled like vanilla, a sweet warmth that grounds him. Yet it’s only after these months apart that he’s able to put a name to the sensation: home. The realisation of how much he’s missed this feeling, missed you, floods him with a rush of emotion so overwhelming he can’t find the words to press the issue. A moment passes before he remembers to hug you back, his arms finally wrapping around you, pulling you close, and you sink into his hold. Months ago, he would have kissed the top of your head and mumbled reassurance into your hair, but tonight, Sunghoon settles for stroking the back of your head and hopes it’s enough. 

“You can talk to me, you know? You can always talk to me.”

A heavy silence follows, sharp as a dagger—scraping his skin, making the hair on the back of his neck stand on edge and lodging itself between his shoulder blades. Sunghoon’s breath hitches in his throat when you cling onto him even tighter, shifting so close you’ve had to settle in his lap. His heart races in his chest, pounding a rhythm so loud it fills the room. 

Finally, you speak, assuring him that you know and that you’re okay. At this, Sunghoon holds you as tight as he can, and neither of you speaks for the rest of the night. You fall asleep like this, in his arms, so deeply that you don’t even stir when he lies down. 

Rubbing your back, he watches the clock on his nightstand, the piercing green LED digits cycling through two whole hours right before his stinging eyes until you wake up. Sunghoon presses his eyes shut, pretending to be asleep when you kiss his cheek and leave his room. 

For the entire morning, you stay in your room, and although Sunghoon is concerned, he decides not to bother you. In the afternoon, he sits at the dining table with his mum, listening as she talks about work. When she asks him, he gets up to make a cup of tea for her. It’s at that moment when you finally come downstairs, looking so effortlessly pretty. Your hair is still damp from the shower, and you’re bundled up in one of his old sweatshirts. There’s a bright grin on your face that leaves his heart thudding. 

“Baby!” you squeal when you see him, charging towards him and wrapping your arms around him from behind. “Good morning.” Your words are muffled against the back of his t-shirt, and the four-letter word, and the sugar coating it, make his cheeks burn. 

“It’s great to see you too, YN,” his mum says with a smile. “My night was amazing; I slept very well and had no dreams.” 

You let go of Sunghoon and walk over to the table, kissing his mum on the cheek and wishing her a good morning as well. “Sorry, mum, how are you?” 

His mother doesn’t seem to have the heart to correct you either, allowing your 3 p.m. ‘good morning’ to go unnoticed. 

Sunghoon carefully fills both mugs to the brim and, with extra caution, carries them to the table. He places a steaming cup of peppermint tea in front of his mum and a milky coffee in front of you. A warm smile spreads across your face as you mouth a ‘thank you’, and his knees turn to jelly. 

The next day, after eating an early dinner with his parents at the table, the four of you go out on a walk along the bike path you used to take for school. His parents have gone ahead, not intentionally, but because Sunghoon can’t stop you from dragging your feet. 

As with most things in the town where you grew up, nothing about the trail has changed. The leaves are yellowing in standard form for the season, and crunching under his feet with each step he takes. The only foreign experience is the silence that you’re determined to uphold. Everything Sunghoon says to you is met with either a hum, a nod, or no acknowledgement at all. At this point, he feels like he could drop dead at your side and the most you’d do is step over his body like a fallen branch. 

After letting you go ahead, the weathered slats of the wooden footbridge sag in the middle under his tread. It’s been like this for as long as he can remember and he wonders how nothing has been done about it. The stream rushes under it, loud and unruly, the smell of wet grass both comforting and suffocating as you look over the railing. It’s like something from a postcard, the low-hanging branches sweeping back and forth under the breeze, the grass lush and green around the path, murky water thrashing against the mud and rocks underneath with you in the middle of the frame, peering over the edge.

You keep walking when Sunghoon approaches, leaving him alone on the creaky bridge with nothing but the ache in his chest. He looks up, staring at the grey clouds in the sky through the gaps in the leaves, and sighs. 

Eventually, he catches up with you, grabbing your hand and locking his fingers with yours when his parents slow down. You stiffen, looking up at him with cut eyes and a creased brow. “What are you doing?”

Sunghoon matches your clipped tone. “Holding my girlfriend’s hand.” 

“No one’s looking, boyfriend.”

“You think my parents aren’t going to wonder why we’re lagging behind?” 

A scoff—your fingers remain defiantly stiff. “Do you think your parents are going to care whether or not we’re holding hands?” 

“My mum might after the show you put on yesterday afternoon, baby.” Bitterness covers the word like a blanket, a stark departure from how you said it. 

A long sigh rumbles its way out of you before you fix your lips into a strained grin. “Sorry, sweetheart, this is my first time pretending to be in love.” 

As your words hang in the air, Sunghoon’s emotions brew like a storm within him. Frustration gnaws at his patience. All hopes for a smooth week are dashed, though determination simmers in his chest with a strong resolve to make this work, to fix your relationship. It doesn’t stop the sharp pang of hurt piercing his stomach—he knows you don’t feel the same way, he knows you’re faking, but the word ‘pretending’ hits him like a truck anyway. 

“We held hands all the time when we were friends,” he points out.

Your smile drops immediately, hurt flashing behind your eyes. “Yeah, and now we’re not.” 

If there was a competition for who could hurt Sunghoon’s feelings the most, you’d be a shoo-in for first place. With distinction. 

“Exactly!” he says, feeling the sting of his own words. “Because now we’re dating.”

At the sight of his mum turning around, you switch up in an instant. Lock your fingers with his, wrapping an arm around his bicep, leaning into him, giggling. It’s forced but his parents are far enough away that all that matters is the curve of your lips.

“You two okay back there?” she asks. 

“Perfect! I feel like a kid again!” you call back, beaming up at Sunghoon in a way that makes his stomach flutter even though it doesn’t meet your eyes. 

The two of you don’t talk at all when you get home, with you hugging his parents goodnight and running up the stairs. 

“She’s not feeling too well,” he explains, nodding when his dad tells him to make you some tea. 

His parents spend the whole day at work, and you spend the whole day following him around like a shadow until the evening when they return. He doesn’t pretend not to like it.

Sunghoon helps you make dinner, turning leftover rice into fried rice with the help of some eggs and vegetables. It’s nice moving around the kitchen with you, watching you scramble eggs in his t-shirt and bump his hip with a playful frown when he eats some of the peppers you’re chopping. 

His parents watch from the table, cooing over the two of you and he does his best to fight the blush forming on his cheeks and neck. Embarrassed, he hugs you from behind, hiding his face in your neck—the scent of your coconut conditioner mixing with your vanilla perfume doesn’t do anything to stop the flush. 

Over a bottle of wine, the four of you eat together at the table, swapping stories about your days. Sunghoon tries to hide his surprise as you lie about the time you spent at the play park by your primary school, competing for height on the swings and spinning on the roundabout until you couldn’t stand up. You grin at him, and it meets your eyes as you hold his hand under the table, and kiss his cheek.

After eating, his parents head upstairs, leaving to clean up together. You hum a song he’s never heard as you load the dishwasher, carefully placing the plates and cutlery in the rack, shaking your head when he hands you the glasses you’d used. 

“Leave ours,” you say. “If you want.” 

Sunghoon nods, putting them back on the table, where you sit in the seat across from the one he was sitting in. He sits too, staying quiet rather than saying the wrong thing. You don’t speak either. It’s reminiscent of the past—the hours you’d spend in the same room, only speaking to share a funny post you’d come across or to ask if you were hungry. 

His eyes track your movements—reaching for the half-empty bottle on the table to pour yourself another glass, filling it to the brim. Before putting it down, you offer him some, filling his glass too when he nods. The three glasses of wine he’s already had must be the reason he wants to reach across the table and hold your hand, run his thumb over the soft skin on the back of it. 

Sunghoon doesn’t know why you’ve been so nice to him all day or why it makes his chest hurt. 

“You know you don’t have to be nice to me when we’re alone, right?” The words come out before he can stop them.

Over the top of your glass, your brows knit together. A sound of confusion, a low hum, comes from your throat as you try to finish your sip. “What?” you ask finally. 

“I only asked you to do this because of my parents, you know? You don’t have to sit or talk with me when they’re not around.” 

Sunghoon’s known you long enough to recognise the look that flashes across your face. The way your eyes narrow and your brows tug together, the little pout that sets on your lips before you speak; you’re hurt.

“Why can’t I just be nice to you because it’s the right thing to do?” 

Because it hurts, is what he wants to say. He wants to cry, to beg you to forget everything he said that day. “Because I don’t want to make you any more uncomfortable than I already have.” Is what he settles for. 

Your face softens. “I don’t feel uncomfortable around you, Hoon. We were best friends for ages, I don’t think you could ever make me uncomfortable.” You pause to take a gulp of wine. “Why can’t I just want to be nice to you?” 

Sunghoon has to chew on his cheek to distract himself from how much your word choice stings. The implications of were and all of your past tense. “I’m sorry,” he says. 

“What for?” 

“Everything.” 

There’s a sadness in the way you run your fingers on the base of your glass. The way you chew on your lip, how your hair falls when you tilt your head and how it moves when you shake it. “It’s not your fault,” you say. “I don’t know anyone who would choose to have unrequited feelings for their best friend.” 

Wow, he thinks. You’re on a roll. Sunghoon wonders if you’re meticulously choosing your phrasing to upset him. Wonders why you feel the need to remind him that his feelings aren’t reciprocated as if he didn’t live through and spend hours reliving the day he confessed. 

“But I didn’t have to tell you about it. It was unfair of me to spring that on you when I knew about Yeonjun.” 

“Did you.. did you think I was going to leave him for you?” 

“Maybe?” Sunghoon chews on his lip—he has no idea what he thought would happen. “I think I thought I loved you enough for both of us, that you might play the part for fun or out of curiosity, and.. I don’t know, just learn to love me.”

“Hoon,” you whisper, frowning. “How could you even think about settling for something like that?” 

Sunghoon shrugs. “It’s not settling if it’s you.” 

Silence takes a seat at the table after he speaks, interrupted only by the ticking clock on the wall—a glittery mess of scrapbooking paper and washi tape layered over each other that Yeji had decorated at summer camp years ago. You’re picking at your fingernails, letting flecks of black polish fall to the table, stark against the varnished oak. 

“I know it’s not my place to ask,” Sunghoon starts after a while, hesitant and only continuing when you nod. “But what did Yeonjun say when you told him? About.. everything?” 

You take a long sip from your glass and sit quietly for so long that he thinks you’re not going to answer him—he doesn’t blame you. 

“I didn’t.” 

He waits for you to elaborate. You don’t. 

Sunghoon nods slowly, deciding not to ask any follow-up questions. Instead, he takes another drink, scrunching his nose at the bitter taste. “He didn’t ask why we stopped hanging out?” he blurts out.

“I told him we fell out but I didn’t say why.” You shrug, but your posture is stiff. 

“Where did you tell him you were going to be this week?” He knows it’s not his business at all, that he’s pushing your boundaries, but he can’t help his curiosity.

“Nowhere.” 

“You told him you were staying on campus?” 

“I didn’t tell him anything.” Your gaze shifts, avoiding his as you toy with the stem of your glass. You drum your nails against it, letting the dull clink ring out. 

“So you just left?” 

“Does it make a difference to you?” 

Sunghoon nods.

For a while, you tug at the drawstrings on your hoodie, pursing your lips to the side, considering this. “Yeonjun and I aren’t together anymore.” Your admission is so shocking that Sunghoon’s jaw drops. He tries to cover his surprise by coughing, his tongue sticking out like a small child. “I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want you to think it was because of you.” 

Sunghoon’s thoughts move at lightspeed, too fast for him to catch onto any of them and process this information. His emotions compete with each other—disbelief, guilt, and a painful glimmer of hope he hadn’t dared to acknowledge until now all at the forefront. 

“Was it?” he asks. “Because of me?” 

You scoff—an incredulous sound that doesn’t match the sad look on your face. “I don’t know, Sunghoon. Do you think my boyfriend used me to make his ex jealous because of you?”

He’s not sure what he expected you to say, but this is.. Complete disbelief eclipses him as his heart sinks in his chest, shock, and guilt bubbling in his stomach. 

“I’m sorry,” he says after too long. “That I wasn’t there. That I haven’t been there.” 

“You didn’t know,” you say, gaze softening as you look up at him. 

“But I made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about it.” 

You shake your head. “I made me feel like I couldn’t talk to you about it. All you did was change the friendship, I’m the one who ended it.”

“I still should’ve been there.” 

“You’re here now, right?” 

Sunghoon nods, earnestly. “Always.” 

Only one thing comes to mind when you repeat the word ‘always’ before taking a sip from your glass, downing its contents. Sunghoon gets up and crosses the room with wobbly steps to open the fridge, where he pulls out as many bottles of soju as he can hold in his hands and puts them down on the table. He goes back to collect some glasses from the cabinet, puts some of the leftover fried rice from dinner into the microwave, and brings it all over when it’s done, with bowls and utensils. You watch him with a fond smile as he opens a bottle and he hopes you think the flush on his cheeks is from all the drinking you’ve been doing. 

“Is it bad that I’ve missed doing this?” You’re grinning now.

Sunghoon shakes his head, raising his glass. “To YN’s fifteenth heartbreak.” 

You grin, clinking the rim of your glass against his. “To YN’s fifteenth heartbreak,” you repeat. 

Both of you down the glasses, and Sunghoon refills them, pouring the soju with an oddly steady hand. As you eat spoonfuls of rice and sip your drinks, silence settles over the room. The soft glow of the kitchen lights forms a warm ambience, a cosy familiarity that brings up simple memories—doing homework together at the table while gossiping about your classmates, the first New Year after you were both eighteen and had your first drink with his parents. 

For at least an hour, the only sounds are the occasional clinks of forks against bowls, glasses hitting the table, the faint hum of the refrigerator and the steady tick of Yeji’s clock. Sunghoon’s eyes meet yours, and he can’t help but notice the slight change in your expression when they do. 

You clear your throat, running a hand through your hair. “This is my sixteenth, actually.” 

“What?” 

You take a small sip of soju, staring down at the table. “My fifteenth heartbreak was losing you. Yeonjun is my sixteenth.”

In the two days since your soju ceremony, Sunghoon finds himself sinking into the role of your boyfriend like a hot bath. But there’s no use pretending it doesn’t hurt. Pretending it doesn’t hurt when you kiss his cheek before bed, or when you reach out to push the hair out of his face or snuggle into his side on the couch; because it does hurt—a lot. It hurts to think that in three days when you put your bags in the boot of his car, you’ll sit in silence all the way home. When he drops you off at your flat, you’ll close the door in his face and stop talking to him again. These realisations are harder to confront when he’s alone in his room, like now. 

About an hour ago, you asked if you could borrow his car, saying there was something you needed to do on your own. It seemed important, so he handed over his keys with no question. Sighing, Sunghoon gets up from his bed and heads to the shower, where he jerks off to clear his mind. On his way back to his room, he notices the light leaking from the open kitchen door that illuminates the landing. 

He hears the lock on the front door clicking, and stands at the top of the stairs, dripping water onto the carpet while listening attentively. His ears perk up when he hears a gasp—his mother. 

“What’s this for?” she asks. 

“I just..” You trail off. “I know it’s not much, but I wanted to thank you both for always looking after me.” You pause, and Sunghoon holds his breath, waiting. Your voice trembles as you continue. “It’s been hard since my parents went back home, and I guess it was still hard when they were here, but you both supported me. I don’t think I could’ve managed without you guys. I want to make you guys proud, you know? And I’m trying, really, so this is me saying thank you. I’m sorry it took me so long.” 

He grips the railing by the landing, digging his nails into the wood until they start hurting—an ache in his fingertips that makes him wince. 

An odd feeling settles in his stomach, a bittersweetness tinged in his fondness for you, and the gentle shock of realising how much his parents have done for you. Growing up, you became an honorary member of Sunghoon’s family. His parents showered you with gifts during holidays and birthdays, which you often celebrated with them rather than your own family. 

The memory of your parents’ sudden decision to move across the country still lingers, and Sunghoon vividly recalls the tearful conversation he overheard at the top of the stairs. Your parents understood the enormity of their request but had earnestly asked if Sunghoon’s parents could continue looking after you. 

His chest tightens when you start crying. 

“You don’t have to thank us for anything, sweetie. Just you being here and taking care of our boy is more than enough thanks. You never forget our birthdays, and you always come and visit when you can. You’re doing a great job, and you should give yourself some credit,” his dad says, a little choked up. “We’ve always been proud of you.” 

Sunghoon’s eyes sting with tears and his skin gets dry in the spots where the water from the shower is evaporating. He presses his fingers to his closed eyes, forcing a few tears to fall and walks the rest of the way to his room with his eyes shut. He can’t hear anything through his closed bedroom door, which he decides is a good thing as he coats himself in moisturiser and swipes deodorant under his arms with intention to spend the whole night alone. Once he’s dressed, he gets into bed and pretends not to be bothered by the way his wet hair dampens his pillow. Under the duvet, he tosses and turns before sighing and heading to Yeji’s room.

In her absence, the room’s subtle transformation is stark. The sage green-painted walls, once a backdrop to the A3 faces of Wave to Earth and Beabadoobee, now bear the faint imprints of those missing posters. Tiny, shadowy rectangles are the only remnants of the 6x4-sized pictures of her and her friends, of her and Sunghoon, that she took away with her to school.

Her hairdryer is still on her desk where she’d left it for him to use and he sits in her stiff wooden chair, plugging it in. The airflow starts immediately, hot and loud, humming throughout the space as he runs his fingers through his wet hair, feeling cosy under the heat. His shampoo is fresh and soapy scented under his nose, and his reflection watches him in Yeji’s mirror, eyes red and concerned while his hair blows around his head. Sunghoon closes his eyes and finishes his hair, sighing as he lets his worries slip under the whir of the fan. 

Finished, he shuts off the dryer and opens his eyes, flinching at your reflection in the doorway behind him with a soft smile on your face. “Mum and Dad are going to open a bottle of wine if you want to join,” you say, meeting his eyes in the mirror. 

Sunghoon can’t find it in himself to speak, only nodding in response. You smile wider but don’t move. He unplugs the hairdryer and leaves it on the desk where he found it before crossing the room. Without giving himself a chance to think about it, he pulls you into a hug and kisses the top of your head, smiling into your hair when you wrap your arms around his waist, holding him closer. 

You’re sitting on the edge of the bathtub, mumbling sleepily that you’re never going to drink again, and Sunghoon leans over the sink brushing his teeth, he’s glad you have the decency to cover your mouth as you speak. 

“Brush your teeth and go back to sleep then,” he mumbles around his toothbrush. 

You don’t respond. 

Sunghoon sighs through his nose, spitting foamy toothpaste into the sink, leaving bubbly, blue splatters on the porcelain. “And quit staring at me, I can feel your beady little eyes on the back of my neck and it’s freaking me out.” 

“But you’re so pretty,” you coo. 

There’s a flutter in his stomach and he rinses off the sink and his mouth, buying himself some time. With a hand on the Listerine, he lifts his gaze to meet yours in the mirror and stops short. You’re still staring at him, features soft and glowing under the afternoon light. You look like an angel; a gentle smile spreading over your lips, and a sleepy glint sparkling in your eyes, wide and gorgeous as you watch him. Sunghoon gulps, mumbling his thanks and looking back at himself. He hopes you can’t see the flush on his cheeks. 

“Go back to sleep,” he says. 

“Will you come and lie down with me if I do?” Your voice is a sleepy drawl, coming out in a slow, high-pitched slur, and your eyes are closing on themselves. 

Lying down doesn’t sound like a terrible idea, especially not if it’s with you, so he nods. “If you brush your teeth, then yeah, baby, I’ll lie down with you.” 

You chuckle softly at Sunghoon’s agreement, the sound carrying a mix of exhaustion and genuine amusement, showing no repulsion to him calling you the B-word. He didn’t mean to, it’s been a confusing few days. You nod, saluting to him and getting up to join him by the sink, using your hip to bump him out of the way, but he feels like he’s glued to the spot. 

“Move, baby,” you mumble sleepily, reaching for your toothbrush. “We can cuddle in my bed,” you suggest, to which Sunghoon only nods, taking your words as a cue to unstick his feet from the floor and go to your room, playing the word ‘baby’ on a loop in his head. 

He stands in the doorway staring at your bed, the duvet is all crumpled in the middle, and the pillows are in an L shape at the top corner. He sighs, he can’t go on like this, can’t stand around hoping even a tiny part of you called him ‘baby’ and it meant something for you as it did for him. It’s not fair for him to project his feelings on you like this, but he can’t help it. You’re already pretending for his parents, so would it be so bad to pretend for his sake as well? Even if only until the day after tomorrow when you leave? 

The sound of the bathroom door shutting behind you snaps him out of his thoughts, your bright smile making his heart race when you tug him by the sleeve to your bed where the mattress dips underneath you as you curl into his form, resting your head on his chest and falling asleep. You’ve shared the bed before, countless times, but he knows you’ve only asked him because you’re tired. Because your brain is foggy with drowsiness that clouds your judgement, not because you want him there, not because you miss him when he’s two doors down the hall, tossing and turning at night thinking about you. He wonders absently if you can feel his aching heart beating through his chest, a painful, yet all too familiar rhythm that pulls his own eyes shut, plunging him into a deep sleep too.

It’s dark in the room when he wakes up, the sun already down behind the curtains and the soft yellow of the bedside lamp casting a glow around the space. You’re staring up at him, smiling and you don’t look away when he catches you. “What is it?” he asks, voice thick with sleep. 

“Nothing,” you mumble. “I just missed you.” Sunghoon has no time to respond or even register what you said before you clear your throat, speaking again.  “Come on, dad’s cooking tonight, he’ll need help.” 

Helping Sunghoon’s dad with dinner always looks an awful lot like Sunghoon eating snacks on the kitchen counter and staring at you as you help his dad cook. Tonight is no exception, he’s sitting on the island, and his snack of choice is a family pack of Chilli Heatwave Doritos his mum bought for Yeji. He’ll have to remember to replace them before leaving seeing as he’s reaching the halfway point. 

You go back and forth with his dad about measurements, with you rummaging through the drawers for measuring cups while his dad says it’s best to trust your gut. Reluctantly, you nod, chewing the inside of your cheek as you watch him eyeball the seasoning. 

The gas stove turns the kitchen into an oven, and you complain about it while opening a window, pulling your hoodie over your head and leaving it in Sunghoon’s lap. Time stops when you grin at him, the light from the stove hood illuminating the necklace you’re wearing, his initial resting on your chest and glowing under the light. He chokes around a crisp when he sees it, catching your attention with his coughing. 

“You’ll spoil your dinner, snacking like that, baby,” you scold, using a hand to push his knee. “We’re almost done, I swear.” 

All he can do is nod, cheeks burning as he folds the crisp packet over before putting it back in the bread bin where he found it. 

“Wow,” his dad says, resting his hands on his hips and shaking his head in amusement. “Being in love looks good on him, he’d never have listened if I said that.” 

It’s already your last day when Sunghoon picks up Yeji from school. She grumbles for the entire half-hour drive and all the way to the front door about why the two of you couldn’t have started the trip today instead of ending it, but all of her irritation dissolves when she sees you in the hallway, leaving the front door wide open to fling her arms around you. You and Yeji exchange compliments for a while — You look so pretty. No, you look so pretty. I love your hair. I love your hair. — as Sunghoon locks the door and watches with a smile.

“God.” Yeji sighs, holding you by the waist and craning her neck up to look at you, as you push some of her hair from her face, pinning back her wispy bangs with the palm of your hand. Yeji giggles. “I’m so happy you two are together, even though I have no idea what a girl like you sees in my loser brother.” 

Sunghoon rolls his eyes, leaning back against the wall. Despite his mild irritation at Yeji’s words, he finds the sight of you with her so adorable his stomach flutters. Over the top of Yeji’s head, you look at him with a fond smile. “He’s not so bad.” 

It doesn’t sound like a compliment, but Sunghoon takes it to heart. 

Like always, Yeji manages to capture your undivided attention and the two of you giggle and whisper with each other all afternoon while Sunghoon watches, too enamoured by the sight to care about being left out. An hour or so passes like this, until his parents get home from work, excited to see Yeji after a few weeks, and you leave her side, coming to cuddle with Sunghoon instead. 

It’s nice being home with everyone, laughing and sharing a meal before his family walks the two of you to his car with at least a month’s worth of cooked food for you to share at university. Yeji makes you pinky promise that she can visit you and waves with a pout on her face until the car is out of view.

Contrary to what he’d been expecting, the drive back is nice. Your playlist is on, and you’re telling him about all the new songs you added, catching him up on things with Chaewon and Yunjin, and all the things you got up to in the time you spent apart. You tell him about a new café that opened up near your place and how you’ll have to go together when he has the time, and Sunghoon bites his tongue before telling you that he always has time for you. The first half of the trip goes on like this but you start dozing off around the halfway mark, your sentences becoming few and far between, eventually turning into half-mumbled thoughts that end prematurely. 

You’re still asleep when he reaches your flat, head propped up against the window with your soft lips parted, looking too pretty and cosy to wake up. Instead, he drives in circles around your block, deciding to wait for you to wake up on your own. It only takes a half-hour but you blink your eyes open, stretching your neck before looking around and out the car window, recognising the street. You don’t say anything, only smiling when you look at him, a small curve of your lips that makes his heart race.

He gets out of the car with you, opening the boot to get your bag before pulling you into his chest for a hug, liking the way your arms settle around his waist. “Thank you,” he mumbles into your hair. 

Sunghoon doesn’t follow you when you take your bag from him, only watching from the back of his car. You don’t notice until you reach the main door, looking over your shoulder and frowning at him. “Aren’t you going to walk me up?” 

The two of you walk in silence up four flights of stairs as the lift in your building is out of order. Your bag feels much heavier in his hand now than it did outside. At your door, he watches you dig around for your keys, sighing with relief when you find them. 

“Do you want to come in?” you ask from your open doorway.

“I—uh—I have training in the morning and I’m already pretty tired, so..” He trails off.

Unfazed, you nod. “Right, of course. I had fun this week.” 

“Yeah, me too.” 

You smile at him, sweet and sincere. “Text me when you get home, yeah?” 

Sunghoon nods, saying goodbye. Out of habit, he doesn’t leave your doorstep until he hears the lock click shut, and walks back to his car with his head down. 

True to his word, he sends you a text to let you know he got back to his place safely and you read it immediately but don’t reply. It’s empty in the apartment, Jake is out with his football team and the space is larger than usual in his absence. Far too tired to even consider going out and joining him, Sunghoon goes through his night routine, putting his phone on the charger and stepping into the shower where he spends entirely too long wishing he could live in this week forever as he scrubs his body. With brushed teeth and damp hair, he goes back into his room where his phone lights up with a notification; a text, from you.

YN🫀: i’m glad you got home okay, i just got into bed :) i don’t want to make you uncomfortable or overstep or anything and you can say no (obviously).. i’ve been missing you so much and didn’t know how to reach out or if you wanted me to but i had soooo much fun this week and spending time with you again made me happy, so i’d like it if we could keep hanging out, like before yk? ik it’s a long shot ahahaha but just say you’ll think about it? 

hoonie: You’re not overstepping at all, I’ve missed you too, so bad. I had soooo much fun this week as well and I’d like it a lot if we kept hanging out, thank you for agreeing and coming along 😚 If you’re free after Lit tmrw you could come over? Or we could go out and do something, whatever you prefer

hoonie: I missed you so much.. 

hoonie: 🤍

The texts greet you as the first rays of Monday morning light filter into your room, instantly lifting your mood. Your bright smile doesn’t escape Chaewon’s notice as you find her in the kitchen, bathed in the soft light seeping through the sheer curtains. The kettle is boiling with a loud rumble that fills the whole room and leaves her yelling as she speaks to you. 

“Good trip?” she asks, coming over and hugging you. “Never leave me for that long again,” she mumbles into your shirt. 

“It was a week, Wonie,” you say, rolling your eyes even though you missed her too. 

She leans away, looking at you with knitted brows. “It was nine days.” 

“The longest of my life.” 

Chaewon pulls air through her teeth, tilting her head and releasing you. “That bad, huh?” she asks, walking back to her seat at your tiny square table and shooting you a look that tells you to join her. 

During your trip, you gave her nightly updates over text, so you know she knows how much you enjoyed yourself, but you elaborate anyway, sitting across from her. 

“No, not at all,” you say, shaking your head and trying to fight a smile. “I had fun.” As soon as the words leave your mouth, you have to bite your bottom lip to stop the grin curving them; it doesn’t work. 

Chaewon raises a suggestive brow, crossing her arms over her chest. “How much fun?” 

“You’re disgusting.” 

“I didn’t even say anything!” she defends, holding her hands up. “I made an implication. It was only a matter of time, you two have that whole.. lifelong best friends to lifelong lovers thing going on, and it’s hot.” 

“Shut up.” 

“You’re telling me, you spent nine days playing lovers with Sunghoon and you still don’t want him? You’re a lost cause, people would kill for that chance,” she says, tilting her head. “I think I would kill for that chance.” 

“Don’t touch him.”

“Oh?” 

“Jesus, Chaewon, it’s not like that. Hoon’s too sensitive for your roster.” 

“I never said it was like anything, you’re the one who’s dangling me over the ledge for saying I want to fuck your hot best friend.” 

“Sunghoon isn’t hot; he’s..” You find yourself at a loss for words, unsure how to continue your lie. Of course, Sunghoon is hot, you’ve known since you were seventeen and spent the summer at your grandparents’ house, only to come back to find your previously scrawny best friend having ditched his LEGOs for dumbbells. You sigh. “Just leave him alone.”

Chaewon grins, eyes sparkling as she leaves the table. “Okay,” she says in a singsong voice, leaving you and the irritation in your stomach alone in the kitchen.

You sigh, pressing your eyes shut and trying to will away your discomfort. It’s not like Chaewon would actually try anything with Sunghoon. Right? Even if she did, it wouldn’t bother you, nor would it be any of your business. They’re grownups and reserve the right to explore their options. Still, there’s a nagging feeling you can’t shake, an uninvited guest in the back of your mind. 

When you check your phone, you realise you have half an hour before you need to head to campus, so you leave to get ready and text Sunghoon back on the way to your room.

you: sounds good, see u later 🤍

After showering, you stand in front of your wardrobe, towel hanging from your body as you pick an outfit. For some reason, you feel under pressure, picking a pair of jeans that do the most for your ass and a low-cut top that Sunghoon once — drunkenly — said he loved on you.

You have the residual sting of mouthwash on your tongue, and one foot out the door when your phone vibrates in your hand. 

hoonie: Do you want to head to class together? 

you: sure! i’m omw out, where should i get you? 

hoonie: .. I’m outside your building :D 

Breathing a laugh through your nose, you don’t fight the giddy smile on your face as you make your way downstairs to meet Sunghoon. Through the glass in the main door, he’s standing at the edge of the pavement and kicking a stone between his feet. The top of his puffer jacket covers the bottom half of his face, and the draught nips your skin when the door opens. Two girls you vaguely recognise stumble in with smudged makeup and heels in their hands, smiling at you while holding the door to let you out.

“Hey!” you call out, jogging over to him. 

Sunghoon turns around, his head poking out of his jacket to grin at you, holding a travel cup and an abundance of tinfoil in your direction. 

“I wasn’t sure if you’d have eaten anything yet, you don’t normally in the morning,” he says, a sheepish smile spreading over his lips when you take it. “Matcha. Ham and cheese toastie.” 

“Did you make these?” you ask, inspecting the familiar cup and appreciating the warmth it provides. 

He hums, nodding his head.

You ignore the heat spreading over your cheeks and thank him with a hug, grinning when he offers to hold your drink while you eat on the walk. The toastie is still hot, the cheese coming close to burning your tongue as you chew, but you appreciate it wholeheartedly, humming contently with each bite. When you’re done, you shove the foil into your pocket, taking your drink from him and smiling around the sweet taste of a matcha latte as he tells you about his schedule for the day. 

“I’m meeting with Coach after class to talk about my grades, but I’m all yours after that.” 

“Talk about your grades? What’s wrong with your grades?” 

Sunghoon groans, head falling back and highlighting the bump of his Adam’s apple. “My grades are.. I failed my coursework this month, so I have resubmissions during finals, and I think he’ll bench me if I fail again.” 

He sounds like he’s being serious, and if the look on his face is anything to go by, he is. The news creases your brows because for as long as you remember, Sunghoon’s grades were your parents’ favourite point of comparison.

“Really?” you ask. He nods. “What’s up? Is something the matter?” 

A humourless laugh slips out of him before he pulls air through his teeth. “Yeah, my best friend didn’t talk to me for three months.” 

“Oh..” Guilt stirs your stomach as you look up at him. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not blaming you, it’s not like I was trying to talk and you ignored me.” He nudges your arm with his elbow, giving you a warm smile. “But if you feel as guilty about it as you look, you can tutor me for Lit.” 

“Deal.” 

Sunghoon grins, wrapping his arm over your shoulders and holding you close; the action itself isn’t unusual, but the increased heart rate it brings about is. “You’re too good to me,” he says, holding onto you for the rest of the walk to class.

At his request, you sit with Sunghoon in the back row, watching as the lecture hall gradually fills up in front of you. He seems well-prepared, with his laptop and a small notepad and pen neatly arranged on the desk in front of him.

Throughout the class, your eyes inadvertently track his every move. He diligently types up colour-coded notes, occasionally pausing to write things in his notepad before continuing to type or stopping entirely to listen. There’s something melodic about his actions and the way his fingers run over the keyboard. 

During a five-minute break, you glance at his screen. What you find is more than just lecture content; it’s a document adorned with Sunghoon’s own musings about Hemingway’s style and carefully analysed quotations that go beyond the class discussion.

“How are your notes so good?” 

“I picked up the book over the summer when you mentioned it,” Sunghoon replies with a shrug, a shy smile playing on his lips as he leans back in his seat. “I liked it.” 

A slow nod is your response, though your thoughts swirl like autumn leaves in a breeze. The last time Sunghoon read for leisure, you were in primary school, buddy reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid. But this—this is different. You can’t help but stare at him, awestruck as you take him in. His eyes are wide, shining amber in the sunlight as he pushes some of his hair from his face, frowning when it falls back where it was. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” he mumbles. 

Sunghoon takes a new line in his document and points at the screen where you watch the cursor move through the words he’s typing: I would’ve read and annotated the Bible if you wanted me to..

There’s no time to digest what he wrote or the funny feeling in your chest as you reread it before he deletes the whole sentence, pressing his lips together and looking out the window. Speechless, you stare at his side profile, willing your heart rate to slip back to normal. Steep-sloping nose, plump lips flattened into a line, two points of the triangular mole constellation on his face. Analysis worsens your condition, breath hitching in your throat before stopping entirely. Warmth and trepidation blend within you, fuzzy enough at the edges to seem like one thing—a single force that makes your palm itch with desire, desperation, to reach out and run a finger over his features, feel the bump of the mole on his nose — the most prominent — against your skin. 

You remain this way — silent, watching — even when your lecturer resumes the lesson, and Sunghoon starts typing, writing, and listening again. Polite enough to pretend he doesn’t notice your gaze searing into his face.

After class, and his meeting with Coach, you let Sunghoon lead the conversation and the way to your flat, where you find Chaewon and Yunjin sitting on the couch, whispering to themselves while the two of you study at the coffee table. It’s uncomfortable, an awkward height, too high for the way you’re sitting but you feel calm under the supervision of Chaewon and Yunjin—you won’t do anything to merit teasing in front of them, no matter how badly you want to feel Sunghoon’s face in your hands or stroke his cheekbones with your thumbs. 

To the best of your ability, you answer the questions he has for you—he’d written a ton in his tiny notepad during class, his own concerns clear with each neatly-penned iteration of: How to see actions/dialogue for what they are and not what I want them to be? written in the margins and you try not to feel heartbroken for him.

Three hours have passed by when you walk him to the door, the two of you wrapped up in a bubble so secure you’re surprised to find Chaewon and Yunjin still sitting on the couch. They don’t say anything about Sunghoon in his absence, or the fact he’d given you his sweater when he noticed you were cold. You’re not sure why their silence disappoints you.

Instead, Yunjin asks you about trivial things like dinner while Chaewon sits in silence. 

“What flavour for ice cream?” Yunjin asks, rolling her eyes when you tug on the blanket but not complaining. “And don’t say something ridiculous like mint chocolate, YN.” 

“That happened once! And it was three years ago.. How was I supposed to know you hate fun?” 

Chaewon leans into you, letting you curl your limbs around her from behind as you rest your chin on her shoulder, liking the way her clean scent tickles your nose. 

“Mint-cho isn’t that bad,” she starts. “It’s a little jarring, sure, but it’s kind of sweet. Like watching people come to terms with their feelings for each other.” 

You nod your head, humming in understanding and furrowing your brows when Yunjin scoffs, staring straight at you. Her tone is equal parts cutting and loving, so you know she’s not trying to insult you, but don’t know what she means when she says, “It must be so nice to be as oblivious as you.” 

Yunjin never elaborates, and you never ask, actually feeling the statement’s journey in through one of your ears and out the other when dinner arrives. The three of you share pizza, ice cream, and secrets — the three pillars of 20-something-teenage-girlhood — at the kitchen table, with Chaewon sitting in your lap and picking pepperoni from your slices. 

It’s only hours after Yunijn’s gone home, that her words circle back to you, the statement and all of its weight perching on your chest with all the debilitation and persistence of a sleep paralysis demon.

“I think I’m getting sick,” you say as soon as she opens her door. “It’s been coming on for a while now, at least a week, maybe more.” 

Unimpressed and exhausted, Yunjin looks down at you through half-closed eyes. “Do you..” She pinches the bridge of her nose, sighing. “Do you have any idea what time it is right now?” 

“Yes. It’s three a.m.” 

“Exactly. See a doctor if you’re sick, I’m going back to sleep.”

“This is an emergen—” Yunjin cuts you off by pinching your lips together. “It’s three in the morning,” she reminds you. “You can’t yell like that in my hallway, come in.” 

You nod, crossing the threshold and taking off your shoes next to hers. “Sorry,” you whisper when the door is closed. 

Using her hand, Yunjin lifts your chin, squinting as her eyes adjust to the light when she flips the switch to inspect your face. “You don’t look or sound sick,” she mutters, flicking the light back off and going to her room. “What are your symptoms? And why did you come here?” 

You don’t have an answer for her last question so you ignore it, following her and tripping over a pair of her shoes in the process. “My cheeks start burning like crazy and my heart races, sometimes it gets hard to breathe.”

“You seem fine to me.” 

A shoulder-slumping sigh slips from your lips. “That’s the thing. I’ll be fine and then Sunghoon shows up with his pretty smile and perfect hair and I feel like I’ve run a marathon.” You know how it sounds, choosing your wording meticulously to let Yunjin be the one to say the words out loud instead of you—it’ll be easier to confront that way. 

From the doorway, you watch as she arches a brow, her interest piqued. “Oh?” 

“I know.” You nod, head bobbing rapidly in furious agreement. “It’s only a matter of time before I cough up a lung and die in his bedroom.”

At your words, Yunjin doesn't reply, only lifting her duvet and getting cosy underneath. You feel like you’re glued to the spot, waiting for her to say something, anything, but nothing comes. All she does is pat the empty spot in her bed. 

“What are you smirking for?” you ask, entering the room properly and closing the door. 

Her response only comes after you’ve taken your jacket and hoodie off, sitting next to her under the covers. “It’s nothing,” she says, laughing. 

“Tell me.” 

Yunjin sighs, resting a hand gently on your shoulder. You think it’s meant to be comforting but it’s the opposite. “You’ll be fine, I promise. Lovesickness isn’t deadly.” 

Feeling the weight of her reassurance, you settle down properly and sigh when your head hits the pillow. Lovesickness. Hmm. 

Closing your eyes, you try to sleep but can’t help tossing and turning as Yunjin snores behind you. You pat blindly around the end table for your phone, grabbing it and wincing at the brightness of your screen. Chewing on your lip, you open Google, looking up ‘lovesickness’ and frowning immediately at the results. Endless negativity fills the screen, terrifying words like ‘unrequited love’ forming a pit in your stomach. There’s nothing negative about what you feel for Sunghoon, nothing unrequited—you think. 

It was obvious during the trip, painfully so. In the way he’d tuck your hair behind your ear when his parents weren’t there to see, or how he slipped up and called you ‘baby’ in the bathroom, blushing when you said it back. You can’t fake something like that.. Can you?

Yeonjun did.

Shaking your head, you open Instagram to distract yourself. Jake’s story comes up first; he’s at a party where Jay is losing a game of beer pong, and at the other end of the table is Sunghoon grinning with a bright red lipstick kiss on his cheek. You lock your phone, using your hands to press on your belly to stop the stirring. 

Oh, you think. Lovesickness. 

When you wake up, the first thing you do is check Jake’s story again. The video is still there and that terrible stir in your stomach churns on, burrowing deeply into a pit of canyon-like proportion—so vast there’s a safety railing lining its edges. 

You eat breakfast in silence with Yunjin, zoning out mid-chew to figure out the origin of these feelings and how to handle them. Suddenly, the moment hits you clear as day, vivid like you’re watching it on a screen—it was your third night at his parents’ house, after your walk. 

You felt bad about how you acted, and what you said, so went straight up to your room. With nothing but the bedside lamp turned on, it was dimly lit, shadows cast on the walls as you sulked, replaying everything in your head. Guilt wrapped its long arms around your body, making you feel sick as you thought about it all. About the hurt etched over his face with every word you said, and the frown that stuck around for the rest of the walk as his hand clung limply to yours. 

There was a knock at the door, so gentle you almost missed it, and Sunghoon was standing there when you pulled it open, chewing on his lip with a mug in his hand. Steam skated over the opening, a rich chocolatey smell hitting your nose but the real kicker was the mug itself. In its place on Jake and Sunghoon’s mug tree, it was unassuming, a regular white mug, but upon meeting hot water, the face of young Sunghoon appeared, grinning with his tiny glasses on. It was a gift from one of his old coaches and though he never used it, it was your absolute favourite cup in the world. 

You felt soft around the edges when you looked up at him, his eyes wide and unsure as you met his gaze—he brought that mug three hours across the country so you could use it again. The thought shifted your heart into a comfortable position, settling in your chest with overwhelming warmth and an increased rate. 

“Hi,” you said, clearing your throat. 

“Hi,” he repeated, holding the mug out for you to take. “It’s still hot so be careful.” 

Nodding, you covered your hands with your sleeves, taking the cup from him and asking if he wanted to come in. Sunghoon nodded, shutting the door behind him and standing by the bed, watching you set the hot chocolate on the bedside table as you sat down. The two of you stayed like that for a while, with him only moving when you patted the spot next to you on the duvet. Your train of thought escaped you as soon as he sat down, the warmth of his familiar fresh, citrusy scent taking over and becoming the only thing you could register. The smell of summers with him, long days at the beach and short nights spent on the couch at random parties, cuddled into his side with his arm over your shoulders. The smell you’d come to associate with comfort and home—with Sunghoon. 

“It’s not fair for me to treat you like shit just because I’m annoyed, I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that earlier. I’m sorry.” 

A crease ran over Sunghoon’s thick brows as they tugged together, he shook his head. “You don’t have to apologise. I roped you into this whole thing and didn’t even try to think about how you would feel. I’m sorry.” His eyes carried a mix of regret and sincerity, mirroring the weight of his words.

“Anyway, I only came to bring you that,” he said, pointing at the cup. “And to check up on you, I’ll get out of your hair for tonight.” Sunghoon wiped his palms on his pants before standing up, reaching behind him to pick up the cloth he brought. For a moment, he stood there, staring down at it in his hand while you thought about telling him to stay, telling him that you wanted him in your hair—whatever that meant. But he spoke before you had the chance. “You left this, at mine, after.. well, you know. I’m sure you left it intentionally, I mean it was folded up perfectly on the end of my bed, so I know you did, but it didn’t feel right keeping it, you always wore it more than me.” 

Sunghoon extended his hand, holding it out to you and you knew exactly what it was as soon as the fabric touched your skin after so long. It was the shirt Jay bought him for Christmas in first year—they were roommates still trying to get a feel for each other. For a few weeks, Sunghoon had been pestering you about what he should get for Jay, saying it didn’t feel right not to get him anything, and you suggested a targeted t-shirt, one you’d been laughing at all day after seeing an ad for it on your timeline. Sunghoon was sceptical, but bought the red shirt anyway, hoping Jay would find BEING DAD IS AN HONOUR, BEING PAPA IS PRICELESS funny. He did. And Jay bought Sunghoon a targeted shirt too, your favourite. It was black and two sizes too big, with I NEVER DREAMED I’D BE A SEXY FIGURE SKATER BUT HERE I AM KILLING IT written over the chest. 

“Goodnight, YN,” Sunghoon said, crossing the room to leave but hesitating before closing the door. He poked his head through the opening and sighed. “I really am sorry.”

That night, you fell asleep in the shirt, the thinning, yet cosy, fabric wrapped around you like a hug as your heart started to beat a new rhythm, one that eerily echoed the five-foot-eleven figure skater who you let break it. 

This morning, Yunjin claps her hands in your face, seeming irritated when you look over at her. “You have class in an hour, what are you doing?” Before you have the chance to speak, realisation covers her face. “Oh, the feelings.” 

You nod solemnly, too caught up in the butterflies raiding your stomach to come up with something to say. 

At lightspeed, you scarf down the rest of your food, apologising for showing up so late as you head out the door. When you get home, you take the fastest shower of your life and feel grateful Chaewon isn’t around to tease you about the smile you can’t wipe from your face thinking about Sunghoon—you’ll text her later.

You run to campus, feeling the brisk autumn wind beating against your face while the rest of your body overheats under your jacket, hoodie and long sleeve. Despite the discomfort and ache in your lungs, you don’t stop until you reach the door of your lecture hall, huffing and puffing into the faces of classmates who don’t take any notice. Of course, in a stroke of pure luck, your lecturer is late, and you realise bitterly, that all of your huffing and puffing was in vain—you would have gotten to class with time to spare even if you walked.

It’s not a total waste though; you use the time to update Chaewon. 

you: i have news wonie..  i like sunghoon

wonie: …………….. fork in the kitchen yn what’s the news? 

wonie: OHHHH news to YOU.. can i call? 

She calls you immediately. You answer without thinking because your lecturer still hasn’t arrived, and there’s no one sitting close enough to hear or notice you taking a call. 

“Are you going to tell him?!” Chaewon’s voice is so loud you wince, pulling the phone away from your ear. 

“I don’t know.” You shrug even though she can’t see you, still holding the device at a distance just in case. “I don’t have any confirmation that he still.. likes me. It’s been a while, and I was pretty mean that day. 

Chaewon groans and you can picture her throwing herself onto her bed, exasperated. The rustling that comes through the receiver only frames the image, hanging it up. “Did you have to tell him to get a grip?” 

“You know..” You trail off, chewing on your bottom lip. “In hindsight, probably not.” 

A beat passes, she’s thinking. “Don’t worry,” she says. “I’ll help you.” 

“I.. have never been so worried in my life.” You sigh, picking at your freshly painted nails. “But I know you’ll do something no matter what I say, so do what you want, Wonie, but please be subtle about it.” 

Chaewon squeals down the phone. “I love youuuuu!” And it’s the last thing she says before kissing the mic a few times and hanging up. 

Slumping in your seat, you don’t have any time to stress about Chaewon’s plans because your lecturer walks in, with a travel cup in her hand and a paperback tucked under her arm. 

She apologises for being late, running a hand through her hair as she announces that you’ll be watching a film, an adaptation of a book you read at the start of term—Ian McEwan’s Atonement. You spend the first hour of the movie falling in and out of sleep until a text comes through from Sunghoon, and sheer excitement keeps you up.

hoonie: Wanna study together after class? 

you: of course!!!!!! 

hoonie: 🤍

The rest of the movie goes by in a drag, and you come away from it with a mild irritation towards Saoirse Ronan.

you: class just finished, heading to lib rn 

hoonie: Shit, still in the locker room, sorry !!! Omw, can you get a table? 

you: i’ll try..

It takes a while but you find an empty booth on the second floor, and set your bag on the plush green seat to take pictures of your surroundings to send to Sunghoon. You sit on the side facing the stairs so he can see you when he arrives. The thought of seeing him makes your heart race and you try out a few natural-seeming poses for when he’s here, cycling between resting your palm under your chin and sitting with your arms crossed a few times until the top of his head comes into view. 

Seeing him knocks the wind out of you as he approaches the staircase, taking them two at a time with his damp hair clinging to his forehead and neck. It doesn’t help that he’s wearing a tight black vest, and his sweats are hanging low on his hips. A breath you didn’t realise you were holding slips out when he lifts his head, spotting you immediately as a grin spreads over his lips and he raises his arm to wave, the veins in his forearm peeking out to say hi too. You can’t tell if it’s his lack of winter wardrobe or your newfound appreciation for him that’s making his biceps look so huge but it’s hard to look away, even when he reaches the table. 

“Are you hot?” you blurt out. 

Sunghoon laughs, raising a brow and something about the way he’s looking down at you makes your cheeks burn. “Depends who’s asking.” He takes his backpack off, leaving it on the table as he sits down, dumping his jacket and hoodie in a pile beside him.

“I’m asking,” you mumble. 

“Then, yeah, I’d hope so.” 

Is he flirting? It sounds like he’s flirting. Flirt back! “Nice arms.” 

He looks down at his biceps for a beat before looking at you warily. “Are you flirting with me?” He can’t fight the smile twitching at the corners of his lips but he tries his best, pressing them into a straight line.

“A little. They are nice though,” you admit.

Sunghoon grins. “Thanks, I’ve had them for a while now.”

You can’t come up with anything to say, too distracted by the way his smile reaches his eyes, lighting up his whole face and forcing a flustered heat to spread over your cheeks and neck. It’s only when you look away from him that you remember what you’re here for. It’s a study date, not a study date—there’s a difference. 

You hand Sunghoon the material you’d printed for him over the weekend, excerpts from texts you’d studied in class, so he can practise close reading and proper citation. As he makes his way through them, you can’t help stealing glances, smiling at the way his tongue sticks out a little while he focuses, or how he twirls his pen in his fingers while he’s thinking. You aren’t making the best use of your time together, copying out the slides from class yesterday, but you can’t help noticing the way he watches you when he thinks you can’t see. The small smile on his face while he does so only flusters you, an odd weakness settling in your knees as your cheeks heat up. 

After a while, Sunghoon sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Could you stop watching me?”

“If you noticed me watching, that means you’re watching me.” 

He shrugs, chewing on his lip. “Well, yeah. I’m always watching you,” he says like it’s a given. “But you don’t normally watch back, it’s distracting.” 

“You’re distracting.”

A playful smile curves his lips as he arches a brow, smugness painting his face. “Am I?” 

Too scared to verbalise your response, you nod slowly, hoping you don’t look as wound up as you feel. 

Sunghoon’s eyes flick over your face, flashing with something you don’t recognise. At least not from him. He sits back in his seat, assessing you and eventually shaking his head. 

“You know,” he says, eyes glowing with something you do recognise: cockiness. “If my sexy arms are getting to you that much, I can always put my hoodie back on. Wouldn’t want my little tutor getting distracted, would I?” 

Oh. 

Your stomach turns with want, mind reeling from his tone and the way his gaze lands on your lips. Sighing, you roll your eyes and try to seem unaffected. “Sunghoon, I never said your arms were sexy.” 

His phone starts to go off, buzzing against the table and he turns it over immediately, screen down on the surface as he shifts his focus back to his work. He chews on his lip while he does, eyes flicking back and forth between his phone and the words on the page. Curious, you lean over the table, elbows propped up as you rest your chin in your hands. He doesn’t spare you or his phone, which vibrates another four times, a glance.

“Are you going to get that?” 

Sunghoon shakes his head. “It’s nothing.” 

You hum, letting just enough curiosity seep into the sound that he’ll elaborate without being asked to. It doesn’t take long for him to deliver.

“It’s just Chaewon,” he says, running his hand through his hair and lifting his head. Sunghoon smiles. “We’ve been texting a lot these days.” 

“Cool.” You nod a few times, aiming for nonchalance but hitting bobblehead as you wait for him to continue. He doesn’t, only humming in response, nodding too. 

After a beat, he picks up his phone, angling it just high enough that you can’t see the screen. He reads the messages, an exhaled laugh coming from his nose as the tips of his ears redden—Fuck. This is worse than you thought. 

Chaewon’s commitment to girl code runs deep—she’s been rebuffing Jake since first year when she overheard a girl she’d never seen before telling her friends she thought he was cute. So you know without having to read the texts that nothing she’s saying is even remotely flirty, you can smell the auto-caps and use of the word ‘buddy’ from across the table. 

What you hadn’t counted on, however, was the potential for Sunghoon’s feelings to shift. If they really have been texting more, can you rule out the possibility that he might like.. her? Chaewon is a catch, beyond a catch, and you’d already turned Sunghoon down. Brutally. Of course, he’d move on, he has moved on. 

The rest of the study session is spent manifesting, writing Park Sunghoon over and over in the back of your notebook. You fill three pages while brainstorming ways to snatch a lock of his hair until he suggests that the two of you call it a day. He walks you home, telling you about how Jake’s been bribing him with food to get a ride to the LEGO store across town for the new Marvel set. 

“With or without the meals, I would’ve taken him, but his ramen is my favourite, so..” Sunghoon says, climbing the last step of your building and holding the door open for you. “He even brought a slice of tiramisu to the rink for me after practice.” 

“You’re terrible,” you say, frowning up at him as you search for your keys. “Do you want to come in?” 

Sunghoon chuckles, shaking his head. “I have a meeting with one of my lecturers soon, I’d have to leave in—” He pauses, rolling up the sleeve of his jacket to check the time. “—eight minutes.” 

“I’m cool with that if you are,” you mumble, suddenly shy. 

A bright smile spreads over his lips and he nods, following you in. 

Chilled by the harsh wind, the only thing on your mind is a hot drink as you lead Sunghoon to the kitchen. He shakes his head when you offer him one, sitting on the countertop and exhaling into his palms before rubbing them together. You can’t help but frown at the sight, feeling guilty that you can’t change the weather to suit him. At your thought process, your brows raise. Wow, you think. Is this who you are? 

You busy yourself with the selection of hot drinks you and Chaewon have accumulated, eyeing each container from top to bottom. A purple tub of Cadbury’s hot chocolate that you’re sure is on the brink of expiration, coffee—sachets of the instant stuff you’ve grown to like since leaving home, Earl grey from one of many brands, or the fancy silk tea bags Chaewon’s mum brought home from a trip—rooibos or plum-apple-cinnamon. 

Craving something sweet, you settle for hot chocolate, pulling the heavy container from the cupboard next to Sunghoon’s head and setting it beside your cup. He’s on his phone, scrolling too fast to take in anything he’s seeing and he shakes his head when you ask if he wants something to drink. 

On the dish rack, Chaewon’s mug catches your eye, so you pick it up to dry it off and put it down next to yours. “I’m going to check if Wonie wants any,” you say, wiping imaginary crumbs from the counter onto the floor. 

Sunghoon only clears his throat, shaking his head. “She’s not home, one of her acrylics popped off so she’s at the shop waiting for a cancellation.” 

The information itself isn’t jarring but hearing it from Sunghoon is. You put on what you hope is a neutral smile and nod, taking milk from the fridge and assembling your drink on autopilot while thinking of ways to redirect the conversation. 

“If you knew you’d have to go back to campus so soon, why’d you walk me home?” you ask, watching your cup spin in the microwave. “I could’ve walked on my own.” 

Sunghoon is already looking at you when you turn your head, his cheeks puffed out with air as he blinks slowly. Because I love you, is what you hope he’ll say. You think you need him to say it. 

“Because you don’t have to do anything on your own when you have me,” he says instead, and it’s infinitely better. 

The words seep through your every fibre, his intonation and lucid affection making a home for themselves in your heart, spreading warmth from head to toe. Your smile becomes a radiant grin, only brightening when he shakes his head, smiling down at his feet. 

Sunghoon hugs you in the kitchen when it’s time for him to leave, his arms holding you tight to his chest as he rocks you back and forth. You inhale his scent, all warm citrus under freshly washed cotton and something exclusive to him.

Wiping the smile from your face feels impossible. You don’t let go when he does, and a sweet laugh — a giggle, you think — tumbles out of him as he mumbles that he really has to go. Still, you cling onto him, taking clumsy steps backwards, with your arms locked around his waist, to your front door, smiling as you watch him put his shoes on. 

“You don’t have to walk me downstairs, honestly,” he says, looking down at you in the doorway.

“I want to.” 

His lips quirk up at the corners, a full smile breaking through and causing your stomach to flutter with so much force you’re sure it’s visible through your shirt. His eyes fall to your lips, lingering, before he clears his throat, looking away. 

“I’ll text you when I get to the door, promise.” 

You lock your pinky with his. “Send a selfie, just so I know it’s you and not someone else using your phone.” 

Sunghoon’s head falls back in a laugh. “Should I just call you? That way you can make sure I get back to uni in one piece.” 

You nod.

“That wasn’t anything with Chaewon earlier, I just needed advice on some girl stuff..” He trails off, searching your eyes. It’s obvious that he’s telling the truth, that he wants you to believe him. You do. “I wasn’t sure if that was something I could talk about with you.” 

Girl stuff. Hmm. You try not to read too much into it and look at the bigger picture instead—your best friend is going through something and doesn’t feel like he can come to you about it.. You squeeze his pinky reassuringly, a flutter in your stomach when he smiles. 

“You can talk to me about anything,” you say, meaning it. 

Sunghoon presses his lips together, humming and unlinking your fingers. “Next time,” he says after a beat, waving at you. 

You shut the door, locking it while watching through the peephole, he leaves as soon as the lock clicks shut. In the kitchen, your hot chocolate is cooling down, and your phone rings in your back pocket. Sunghoon’s calling. 

Hanging out with Sunghoon. Making sure he sticks to the time-blocked schedule you made for him. Quizzing him on biology terms until he gets restless. If the last two weeks were an episode of Family Feud, those would be the top three answers to the question: Name something YN is doing right now.

Thankfully tonight, it’s the first one. 

You’ve been sitting on the couch for so long, Jake has both left for football practice and arrived from football practice. Conversation ebbs and flows—an hour or so of nonstop talking, followed by another hour or so of comfortable near silence. 

It’s during a quiet hour that Sunghoon sits up straight, clearing his throat before saying, “Let me ask you something. He retreats to the other side of the couch, turning to face you with his whole body. “I don’t want things to be weird after I ask, so no matter what your answer is, I won’t bring it up or ask again.”

Arching a curious brow, you nod. “You can ask me anything,” you say, meaning it.

Sunghoon’s face is impressively blank—minus the motion of sharp teeth worrying plush lip, there’s absolutely nothing behind his eyes that seem to stare right through you. 

Eventually, he asks, “Can I kiss you?” He says more. Big, scary words like for closure and moving on, but they don’t register. They don’t matter. 

Your heart pounds at the base of your throat as you find interest in your hands that sit in your lap. Even without looking at him, you can’t get over the slight crease he had in his brow and the slight tremor in his hands. 

“For closure,” you repeat, though your voice doesn’t sound like it’s coming from you, muffled under the thump of your heart. 

Sunghoon nods. “For closure.” 

A humourless laugh sneaks past your throat as you look at him. You shouldn’t have. In the lamplight, Sunghoon is golden and glorious. Warm light casts one side of his face, diffusing gently over the steep slope of his nose, highlighting his moles and the look in his eyes, gentle and curious all at once. Unwillingly, your gaze falls to his lips, parted, tempting. 

One firm nod of your head brings Sunghoon’s hand to your face, his palm cupping your cheek with soft skin as his thumb traces your cheekbone. You grow anxious under his stare, under the drag of his eyes over your features, taking them one at a time like he’s committing them to memory.

Leaning in, your eyes flutter shut as your lips meet his and he freezes, mouth completely still on yours. Delicately, your tongue traces the seam of his lips, soft and plump, until they part for you, moving with yours. Sunghoon’s kiss is unpolished when it reaches you. It’s hesitant but tender, clumsy but sweet, he’s trying and he’s perfect; your favourite. 

The kiss is.. it’s everything. It’s the racing of your heart, the thudding, the vibrant buzz you can hear, feel humming against your ears. It’s a rush of blood to the head, a lightness all over that pulls you out of your body. It’s Sunghoon’s soft lips curving into a smile against yours, his gentle hold on your face never letting up as he holds you as close as he can manage, and it’s every bit as lovely as the rest of him.

Palpable is the heartbeat of your friendship, beating to a lull under the surface of the kiss, fizzling out into nothing, a steady silence, flatlining to give way to something more, something bigger. 

Every brush of your lips against his is a revelation, a confession. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, you tell him with your kiss. You’re everything I need. His free hand finds yours, locking your fingers and squeezing, the action timed well enough to make you think he hears you, to make you think he’s saying, we’ll be okay, I still love you. 

With that, he pulls away, a delicate tension piercing the air. Blown eyes and laboured breathing—he’s beautiful, fuzzy around the edges with warm orange and all of the love in your heart. Breathless, you chew on your lip, cognisant of Sunghoon’s hand in yours and the sparkle in his eyes as he looks at you. 

Belatedly, you squeeze his hand back, smiling. “Was it everything you ever dreamed of?” you whisper, part teasing, all curious.

Abruptly, Sunghoon stands up, letting go of you in the process. “I have to go.” 

You want to stop him, you think you’re supposed to. To grab him by the arm and kiss him again, to yell in his face that you love him until he understands. But you don’t. Instead, you stay seated, staring at Sunghoon’s back and following him with your eyes out of the room and down the hall until he’s out of sight. 

It’s your first time being so upset after a kiss, and you can’t tell if it’s his leaving or the mention of him moving on that’s tripping you up so much. That’s causing melancholy to crawl from the shadows, sinking its jagged nails into your skin to pull you under. 

You love him. He’s gone. 

Eyes stuck on the doorway, time stretches over the room around you, thick and malleable, wet and cloying—clay stuck under your nails for days as the fire in the kiln rages on. 

Sighing, you get up and wait at his door. You ball your hand into a limp fist, knocking weakly. Sunghoon doesn’t reply. You try again, harder. Still nothing. 

Barging into the room, you find him sitting on the end of his bed with his face in his hands. 

“Don’t move on.” The words come out before you realise and Sunghoon lifts his head, squinting at you. 

“Huh?” He tilts his head, watching closely as you approach him, tipping it back enough to meet your eyes when you stand over him. 

You take a breath, holding it until your head starts to spin. “I don’t want you to love someone else, Sunghoon. Please don’t move on.” 

The stillness that follows is disconcerting, a long quiet you can feel on your skin, amplifying the blank stare on his face as he looks up at you. His eyes flash, a spark of hope behind them so bright it stings to look at.

“Do you..” He trails off, his lips moving to form the next word though stopping short.

“I do,” you whisper, nodding. “I’m sorry for taking so long.”

An exhaled laugh comes from his nose as he grins, shaking his head. “You like me?” he asks, excitement and disbelief fighting for authority over his voice, his hands holding your waist and pulling you down into his lap.

“I love you,” you admit, settling on his thighs. 

“You do?” His eyes are wide and gleaming, searching every feature on your face before settling on your own.

You nod. “So much.” 

Sunghoon’s chin tips up, his lips pressing against yours, excited pecks that can’t turn into much more for the smiles on your faces. You rest your arms on his shoulders, hands clasping behind his head, nervous fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. 

“So.. will you be my boyfriend? For real?” 

Tilting his head, he tries and fails to fight a smile. “I will. I’m a little bummed though.” 

“Why?” You raise a brow, and the word tips up at the end with it. 

“I wanted to be the one to ask you.” Sunghoon’s honesty warms the room, endearing you completely. 

You grin, loving the heat spreading over your cheeks. “Ask me anyway.” 

“Please can I be your boyfriend?” 

In the weeks that followed, it became immediately clear that boyfriend Sunghoon operated on a pendulum swinging between sexual ferality and terror. He’d get distracted during study sessions at home, finding more interest in biting at your neck than stream-of-consciousness prose, but closed his eyes if a sex scene came on TV. He’d buck his hips against yours while making out but flinch at the sight of condoms in the store.

He wasn’t ready to have sex and didn’t know how to tell you, so you took matters into your own hands, asking if you could wait until after his results for resubmission came in, saying you didn’t want the distraction for either of you. Sunghoon agreed, pecking your cheek and holding you tight to his chest. 

The only thing was that your lecturer hadn’t given him an exact date, so every morning, you held your phone in a vice grip waiting for Sunghoon to update you, and every morning, you got the same text: Nothing today, baby ☹️ 

This morning, you’re brushing your teeth when he texts you, in all caps: NO FUCKING WAY I GOT A 98 !!! LOOK !!!

When the picture comes through, it’s of him in the mirror and you choke on mouthwash at the sight. He’s smiling, bright and beautiful, in a black vest that he’s holding up a little to show his stomach, though his palm is in the way of his toned abs, and it cuts off right at the top of his grey sweatpants. 

Your mouth goes dry as you click on it, fixating on every little detail you can find: the thickness of his fingers against his phone, the dip in his collarbones, the breadth of his shoulders and the cinch of his waist. In a fit of desperation, you try swiping at the bottom of your screen, willing the picture to magically extend. It doesn’t. 

hoonie: Finger slipped.. You like?

you: mm.. 

you: 98??? HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT YOU!!!

hoonie: All you.. do you like the picture?

you: i love it………….

hoonie: My girl 🤍

Another picture comes in, and sure enough, through the glare of his laptop screen, you see: Course name: The Modernist Movement: Joyce, Woolf, and Hemingway. Marks Awarded: 98.0.

you: well done baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hoonie: Thx 😁

hoonie: Can I have my prize now ha ha .. haha 😈

you: just for that emoji, no you absolutely cannot.

Your resolve isn’t strong enough when it comes to Sunghoon, because purple devil emoji and all, you show up at his door with condoms in your bag and a bouquet of lilies behind your back. 

The door creaks open and Sunghoon greets you with a grin. “Hey, gorgeous. You proud of me?” 

You beam at him, holding out the flowers. “I’m very proud, Hoon, well done.” 

“I don’t want to ruin the moment,” he starts, taking the bouquet from your hands and sniffing the flowers with an approving smile. “But hearing you say you’re proud of me is awakening something I didn’t know existed.”

“A good something?” 

“Mm,” he hums, arms finding your waist before he pecks your lips. “A very good something.” 

Sunghoon’s words hit your lips and your core, a desperate heat flooding your stomach as he kisses you deeply, his body pressed tightly against yours while he pulls you into his apartment. He kicks the door shut with his foot, slipping his hand under your jacket to settle in your back pocket, not quite squeezing but holding your ass as gently as he can manage. 

He breaks away from you, love in his eyes as he stares down into yours, catching his breath. “I don’t think we own a vase.” 

In his kitchen, you rifle through cupboards to find something to hold the flowers, eventually finding a whiskey decanter in the cupboard under the sink, and holding it up for Sunghoon to see.

“Oh, yeah,” he says. “It’s Jay’s. It’ll work right?” 

You nod, taking it to the sink to rinse it. Sunghoon wraps his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder watching you fill the decanter with water and flower food before grabbing the bouquet. He presses open-mouthed kisses to your neck and you struggle to stay focused as you cut down the stems on the flowers, arranging them neatly. 

“Can I take a photo?” he asks when you’re done. 

He’s smiling when you turn around to look at him, a soft curve of his lips that makes your heart race, a deep tenderness in his eyes when you meet them. You smile too. 

“They’re yours, baby, do whatever you want.” 

“A photo of you with the flowers,” he clarifies. 

Warmth settles in your chest, a grin spreading over your lips from ear to ear. You nod, taking the decanter in your hands when he lets go of you, holding the flowers up beside your face and smiling for his camera. As his phone shutter clicks away, you steal glances at his face behind it. He’s watching the screen with a smile, telling you how beautiful you are.

“I want pictures of you too,” you say, handing the flowers over. 

“I’m yours, baby, do whatever you want.” 

Sunghoon poses for your photos, smiling sweetly in some and sniffing the bouquet appreciatively with closed eyes for others. He’s glowing and he’s beautiful and your heart triples in size while taking picture after picture until your phone tells you it has ten percent. 

“Thank you, YN,” he says. “I’ve never gotten flowers before, I love them.” His arms settle around your waist, lips pressing against yours before you have the chance to respond. 

You try anyway, mumbling against his lips that you love him. In response, Sunghoon grins, but the feeling of his cock growing hard against you is distracting, a lust-coated thorn in the side of the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. With locked lips and uncertain steps, the two of you bump into corners and trip over your own feet, stumbling to his room and parting only to tear his hoodie over his head.

Breathless, you pull away, eyes trailing over him and picking up on everything, from the tremble in his hands to the lust-addled worry in his eyes. He’s nervous, you think—though it escapes you, the last word coming out like a question.

Sunghoon scoffs, his hands resting on your waist under your shirt, skin clammy against yours. “Of course, I’m nervous.” 

“You don’t have to be.”

“I just want to be good for you.” 

“Don’t worry about that, let me take care of you, Hoon.” Your palms drag up his torso — firm abs through soft cotton, defined chest over racing heart — to rest on his shoulders. “Sit,” you say when he nods. 

He gulps, taking a seat on the end of his bed under your gentle push, eyes widening when you sink to your knees between his legs and reach for his drawstring, pulling the ends to untie the knot. 

“Wait,” Sunghoon says, breathless, scrunching up his face and dropping his head. “Let me calm down, baby. At this rate, I’ll come just seeing your hand on it.” 

You giggle, resting your head on his thigh and wrapping the drawstring around your finger.

“I’m serious, YN,” he mumbles, laughing as he takes his vest off. “I need a minute.” 

Sunghoon’s eyes are pressed shut as he tries to collect himself, lips pouty and kiss-bitten, slightly parted with ragged breaths slipping out. You wait patiently for him. He’s so pretty like this, with the crease in his brow and the pretty pink flush dusting his cheeks as his chest rises and falls. You can’t help but smile, leaning into his touch when his hand rests on top of your head, his blunt nails grazing your scalp. After a while, he seems more at ease, his eyes finding yours and he smiles shyly, telling you he’s ready now and lifting his hips from the bed to let you pull his sweats and underwear down. 

Free from the constraints of fabric, his cock slaps his stomach with a wet sound as the tip meets his skin, leaving a pearlescent streak over his abs. The sight makes your mouth water and you can’t look away. “Pretty,” you whisper.

Wrapping a hand under his tip, you swipe it with your thumb, taking time to memorise the flutter of his eyelids, the bobbing of his Adam’s apple, and the soft sigh he lets out. You stroke him slowly, liking the way his breath picks up as his brows knit together before you take him in your mouth. It’s a tight fit but you do your best, spurred on by the way he tugs at your hair and stutters through a holy fuck as you take as much of him as you can. 

Sunghoon goes silent, only squirming when you use your hand to stroke him near his base. Self-conscious about his lack of vocal affirmation, you look up at him through your lashes, and the pure bliss on his face is unbearably attractive. His eyes are rolled back under furrowed brows, his mouth hanging open as he throws his head back.

“Am I doing okay?” you ask, using the moment to catch your breath.

He nods, inhaling shakily and screwing his eyes shut while his hips buck up into your fist. “I’m.. You’re doing such a good job, baby, so good.”

Satisfaction courses through you from the praise, a high that dulls the ache in your jaw. Still watching him, you massage his balls in your palm, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his tip when he whines. You tongue at his slit until he thrusts back into your mouth, tip hitting your throat, and he gasps when you gag, his arm coming up to cover his eyes. A belated apology slips from his lips, mumbled as he strokes your hair with a shaking hand and goes quiet again. When you speed up, his breath stutters, the muscles in his thighs contracting around your head as you suck and lick and drool on his cock. 

A moan of your name, and his hand holding your hand down, are the only warnings you get before Sunghoon comes, spilling his load right down your throat. Whining, his hips buck up against your face, pushing further and further until he falls back onto the mattress.

Your throat is hoarse and aches while you use the back of your hand to wipe at your lips, enjoying what’s left of his taste on your tongue. Deep red tints his neck and chest, a pretty flush gleaming under the sheen of sweat on his skin. He’s mesmerising, as he tries for air through swollen lips and looks up at you through squinted eyes. He reaches for you, cute grabby hands tugging your shirt and pulling you down so you’re lying next to him with your head on his chest. 

“You’re amazing, baby, so good for me,” Sunghoon whispers, eyes fluttering shut as you drag your nails over his torso, feeling the subtle heave of the slick, sculpted muscle over his stomach and chest. 

Pride heats your chest, satisfaction rolling over you like a wave. “Really?”

He hums in affirmation, nodding his head. 

“You were so quiet, I couldn’t really tell,” you add, hungry for more praise. 

“The walls are so thin in here, I just got used to being quiet,” Sunghoon says, frowning. Hand meeting your chin, he tips your head up towards him, pressing a soft kiss to your lips and mumbling, “I’m sorry. You were perfect, I swear.” 

It’s a sweet kiss. Until lips move harder and hands get lower, desperate as he thumbs the top of your leggings, palm unmoving but a dangerous heat blooms in your stomach anyway.

“Can I..” Sunghoon pinches you softly through the material, unsure eyes boring deep into yours. 

You nod. “You can.” 

Slipping under your waistband, his fingers skate across your skin dipping between your thighs. He grazes your slit, satisfaction clear in the groan he lets out as he feels the wetness there, pulling it over the length of your slit to cover your clit. Your breath hitches, a strangled gasp, pleasure and surprise meeting in your throat under the pressure of his thumb on your clit, the gentle sting of his finger pushing into you. 

What Sunghoon lacks in experience, he makes up for with the sheer length and thickness of his fingers. It’s almost jarring, it’s enough to force your eyes closed and bring a sigh rumbling out of you, ache and relief settling between your legs, where he curls a finger against your walls and drags slow circles over your clit. 

“Can you take these off, baby?” he asks, hand away to touch your leggings. 

You don’t waste a second, sitting up to pull them off, throwing them and your underwear across the room. Sunghoon licks his lips, tugging at the hem of your shirt. 

“And this? If you want..” 

You nod, pulling it off immediately to let it join the rest of your clothes in a heap on the floor. The way he gulps is a confidence boost, his dilated pupils taking in every inch of your body, though his gaze always pulls back to your bra—white and lacy, thin enough for your nipples to push through the fabric and Sunghoon can’t seem to get enough, though he waits until you’re lying down again to touch you. 

Sunghoon props himself up on his elbow, leaning over you. “You’re beautiful,” he whispers, dragging a finger over the lace at the top of your bra, toying with the material and the little bow sitting between your breasts. His eyes flick up to meet yours. “So beautiful,” he repeats. 

Hiding your face in his chest, you mumble, “Thank you,” into his skin while trying to ignore the heat spreading over your body wherever he touches you. His hand trails from your arm to your waist, resting on your hips to slip over your ass for a beat, where he grabs and squeezes the flesh there before coming back around to slot between your legs—you lift one of them, resting it over his body, and he’s smiling sweetly when you look up at him.

Sunghoon’s movements are unchanging, though the sensation is heightened by the unbridled desire in his lidded eyes that urges white heat to lick over every inch of your skin—this time he pushes two fingers into you.

It doesn’t get better than this, you think. But it does, quickly. 

Leaning over you, his eyes flick across your face, one feature at a time as he chews on his lip. Reaching up, you push some of his hair from his face, holding it back and saying, “Relax, baby.” 

“Don’t want to hurt you.”

Moving your hand, you blink when his hair flops back over his forehead, tickling your eyelashes. His eyes are focused now, staring straight down into yours, want and worry flashing behind them. 

“You won’t, I promise,” you say, locking your pinky with his, feeling relieved when he smiles.

Sunghoon pushes in slowly, his name slipping from your lips when he exhales shakily, head falling forward. The sting, the pleasure, make it hard to breathe, molten desire taking hold of your lungs as he carves out a place for himself as far as you’ll take him, all the way to the hilt as slow as he can manage. 

A moan tears out of him, lewd and whiny as his hair tickles your collarbone, head falling into the crook of your neck. His skin is hot and damp against yours, his breath burning your shoulder as he tries to calm down. It’s difficult to register much else, tethered only by the sound of his voice when he asks, “Am I hurting you?” 

“Hoon,” you whisper. 

“Can you look at me, baby?” He lifts his head, resting a hand on your cheek. You blink your eyes open, gaze locking with his, where concern pushes through his desire. “Am I hurting you?” he asks again. “Are you okay?” 

You nod. “I’m okay, just..” You sigh. “Full. Need a minute.” 

Sunghoon kisses you, lips moving gently with yours, passing breathy whines between your mouths until you feel yourself relaxing. Pulling his plush bottom lip between yours, you suck on it, nodding. “Want you to move, baby,” you mumble. 

He scans your face, eyes meeting yours as he pulls his hips back. He’s slow, so slow with his thrusts that your belly turns with want, your fingernails sink into the taut skin of his back, and jagged sobs fall out of you with each drag of his cock along your walls. 

Everywhere his skin touches yours is set ablaze with scorching heat, goosebumps pushing past the surface as his breath fans your neck and his sharp teeth graze your skin. He bites hard enough to sting, and you wince as his tongue flicks over your bitten flesh to soothe you.

You were so worked up earlier, writhing against the sheets and coming undone in his palm, so bliss quickly pushes through the ache between your legs. “Good, Hoon, feels so good,” you manage, struggling to convey how perfect it is.

“Just want to make you feel good.” His words melt into each other, vowels soft and elongated as they curl around each other. He’s working up a steady rhythm, his tip consistently nudging you where you need it—the spot that makes the room blur around you. “That’s all I want.” 

Before long, the knot in your stomach pulls you up from the mattress, arching your back towards the ceiling. Mouth to mouth, chest to chest—it’s the closest you’ve ever felt to someone else, the closest you’ve ever been. The thought alone knocks the wind out of you, and his persistent whining does nothing to help.

Your want and adoration for Sunghoon run bone-deep, inching up your spine and creeping over your shoulders, intertwined with an all-consuming pleasure that turns the heat in your stomach molten as a shudder zips through you. Even though you can’t find the words to let him know, he lifts your hips from the bed to fuck you deeper, harder, into the mattress until shaky orgasms pull both of you under. 

You let him fall into you, fingers curling around his hair, whispering I love you into the skin of his neck as he comes, most of his weight on top of you while you catch your breath, relishing in the fullness you feel as the last waves of your high pull back. You stay like this for as long as he needs, his head coming up from the crook of your neck to smile at you before pressing his lips to yours. A sleepy haze fills the room around you, tongue swiping tongue as you giggle happily into his mouth. 

After a while, he gets up, tying the condom to throw it away and comes back with his shirt. He uses it to clean up—gentle between your legs, pressing kisses to your calves while he does. Sunghoon’s tenderness wraps around your heart, and love clouds your vision, forming a blurry trail that follows all of his movements, glowing like something from a dream, ethereal, an apparition. 

The bed dips beside you, his arms around you, pulling you in so his chin rests on your head. You push your cheek into his chest, hoping the two of you will meld into one—the thought makes you warm all over, a fuzziness that reaches every part of your body while he presses kisses into your hair, rubbing your back. 

“I love you,” he says, voice as soft as the rest of him. “I’m glad I exist.”

mama park: Hi lovely 😍 missing you lots, wondering when you’ll be home for Xmas………..love ma

Sunghoon stirs, nose scrunching as he snores softly into the quiet of a winter morning. His chest rises and falls steadily under your head and he doesn’t move when you sit up. The lamp on his desk is still on — neither of you could be bothered getting up to turn it off last night — and under its dim glow, you admire him. Perfect lips gently curved—long lashes kissing the skin under his eyes. 

Love hits you from all angles, warmth all over from head to toe despite the chill in Sunghoon’s room. You can’t help but grin, leaning up to nose along the underside of his chin, his natural scent so soft yet dizzying as you nuzzle into him. He stirs again, turning his head this way and that before resting, you feel a bit bad, deciding to leave him be and text his mum back. 

you: hi mum !!! missing you sooooooo much :((( will be home asap

mama park: BTW Sunghoon told me everything. I raised such good actors LOL make sure he looks after you and keeps you happy!

you: i’m so sorry we lied to you..

you: but i’m really happy with him and he loves me a lot

you: i love him so much .. never been so sure of anyone in my life

© zreamy (2023), all rights reserved. do not repost, translate, or plagiarise my work. do let my know your thoughts !

permanent taglist: @asahicore

[jenosbigtoe]

park jisung x bimbo!reader (M)

minors dni

summary: maybe the quiet boy isn’t as naive or innocent as you initially thought.

warnings: reader is kinda slutty but ji secretly loves it, dom!jisung, big dick jisung, fingering, size kink, creampie, fellatio, unprotected sex, college au!

word count: 3.1k

a/n: i’m a jeno girlie but ji has been hitting sooo different. ESP THE BAT JISUNG OOOH

SORRY TO WHOEVER WANTED THE JAEMIN FIC FIRST IM GETTING IMPATIENT HAVING THIS SIT IN THE DRAFTS. JAEMIN FIC THIS WEEKEND POSSIBLY!!

god you wanted him so bad. park jisung, the quiet compsci major that sat in the front of every lecture you’ve had together since freshman year. the park jisung that walked around with his clunky black headphones around his head at all times. the one who had his head down and eyes averted wherever he went. the one who rarely raised his hand in class but when he did, god he sounded so sexy explaining topics you could never begin to understand. the park jisung you’ve never spoken more than 10 words to in the 3 years you’ve known him at uni.

you just wanted to corrupt him so bad. with those baggy clothes he always wore and those harry potter circular lenses you thought looked so so cute on his face, you’ve never seen him interact with the opposite sex. like ever. and with your senior year in uni, you knew you had to make a move on him.

operation seduce park jisung is a go.

you had your first lecture of the day together. it was a 9 am, one you barely showed up to but you knew he had perfect attendance to. and today you were going to make his knees weak when he saw you.

popping your sparkly pink lip gloss, you gave yourself another look over in the reflection of the window before stepping into the lecture hall. today, you wore a light pink mini skirt, a white crop top and lacy hot pink push up bra that peaked through, and a cardigan with strappy gold sandals. you walked in 5 minutes late, smacking your bubblegum, and scanned the room for your target.

there he sat in the front row, in his oversized black hoodie and khaki cargo pants, his laptop open and signature black headphones around his neck. he was chewing on the end of a pen cap as he typed, eyebrows slightly furrowed in concentration. you smirked to yourself and sauntered over to the seat next to him, making sure to scoot behind him in order to accidentally rub your ass against his head.

“sorry, excuse me,” you whispered.

jisung scooted up to let you pass and gave you a tight lipped smile as you sat next to him.

you didn’t even bother taking anything out to write notes. as you pretended to focus on the lecture, your eyes drifted over to jisung periodically. the way his hands were so big and veiny. when his hoodie sleeve would lift up and tease you with the image of his slim muscular arms. the faint smell of his masculine scent—smoky cedarwood? you could feel your pussy throbbing.

after the lecture was over and jisung got up to leave, you stopped him. “hey, what’s your name again? my name is y/n i don’t think we’ve introduced ourselves before.”

“it’s park jisung,” he said curtly.

it was hard for you to decipher how he felt talking to you but you didn’t want to burn this bridge before it even took off. “okay, nice to meet you, jisung. see you around!” you gave him a bright grin and turned on your heels to saunter out of class, leaving him to stare at your turned back.

and the next few weeks it was rinse and repeat. you would show up wearing your cutest little outfits, showing the most amount of skin appropriate in an “academic setting”, and trying to strike up a conversation with the quiet sexy compsci boy you had a crush on. to be fair, it didn’t seem like your plan was working all that well though. you barely knew anymore about jisung than you did a month ago and you thought by now you would’ve had him melting in your palm. with all the curt responses he gave to your questions, you should’ve been discouraged by now. but no, you were more determined than ever to get this boy underneath you.

so today you decided to alter your plan a little bit. you found jisung in the same seat as always. you were wearing the cutest white sandals and a short mini sundress with a pink ribbon in your hair. you took extra care in your makeup today too, wearing just a little more blush, sparkly silver glitter eyeshadow, and frosty pink lipstick.

“hi ji,” you walked up to him and smiled, actually 10 minutes early this time.

he gave you a small smile and looked back down at his laptop. you puffed your cheeks and pouted a bit. you sat in your designated seat next to him in a huff and pulled at his hoodie sleeve.

“ji, you like me right?” you started to draw circles on his arm and leaned in closer so he could smell your cherry perfume.

jisung looked up at you and tensed up with hesistant look about his face. “what do you mean, y/n?”

you pouted your lip. “you know.”

jisung fidgeted in his seat a bit and looked every where but your tits that were spilling out your bra. “i don’t know what you mean.”

“well we’re friends, right?” you leaned ever so slightly over. god he looked so cute and delicious you could just eat him up.

“um,” jisung started.

you interrupted him. “well i like you ji. and you’re my friend. friends help each other, right?”

jisung stared blankly at you. “y/n we've barely talked except the past couple weeks.”

you ignored his last statement.“this is really embarrassing but,” you leaned over and whispered softly in his ear, “i’m failing this stupid econ class. it’s required for my major but i just don’t understand any of it.”

you leaned back and stared jisung directly in his eyes, close enough to count the eyelashes on his eyes. “help me, ji? please? i know you’re just so smart and i only need some tutoring.” you gave his arm a tight squeeze for reassurance.

poor jisung was so flustered and shifted around at the proximity. “w-well uh o-okay-“

you stood up gave him a tight hug, conveniently shoving his face into your juicy tits, and squealed excitedly. mission success. “thank you so much, ji! let me treat you out to lunch a few days a week to make up for your help!”

jisung’s face was so red and the hug left his glasses slightly askew on his face. adjusting his glasses, he fumbled out a “yeah no problem.”

after the lecture, you slid jisung a piece of paper with your number with a “text me :) <3” and practically skipped out of class.

later that evening you got a text from an unknown number.

unknown: This is y/n right?

unknown: It’s Park Jisung.

you squealed and kicked your feet around on your bed.

you: yup :)) this is y/n

jisungie <3: Okay. I’m free Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Sundays after 2pm. Every other day I have work. Let me know when you want to meet up.

you: yayyyy!! perfect <3

you: let’s meet up at the library tomorrow at 2:30pm. my place is right by it

jisungie <3: Okay.

you: your so awesome ji 😎

jisungie <3: You’re*

jisungie <3: You’re welcome, y/n. And just so you know, I do like you. You are my friend.

you had to run laps around your room after that one.

the next day was a sunday. you told jisung to meet you at the library but you knew better. the library wasn’t open on sundays. so that meant your study date had to move somewhere. and with your place being so close, that somewhere would hopefully be your apartment.

so you arrived at the library 30 minutes early, knowing jisung’s little quirk of needing to be 15 minutes early to everywhere he goes. today you decided to wear black yoga pants that accentuated your ass and a cute crop with a teddy bear print on it. and you made sure your makeup was waterproof because you hoped jisung would make you cry it all off later.

when jisung arrived, you faked a pout and pretended to be upset. you ran up to him and grabbed his arm, big fake tears welling up in your eyes. “ji, the library is closed. i was so excited to hang out with you outside of class but we can’t even have our study date because the stupid library doesn’t open on sundays.”

jisung looked panicked at the sight of your tears. “uh, um, uh don’t cry.”

you let a few tears roll and rubbed them on the back of your hands. “sorry ji. i’m just so disappointed. sure i want my grade in econ to be better but i also just wanted to hang out with you.”

jisung grabbed a napkin out of his bag and handed it to you. he rubbed your hand in a reassuring way that secretly had your pussy throbbing from his big hand grabbing your small one. “uh it’s okay, y/n. i can probably make time tomorrow. i have work but uh-“

you suddenly interrupted him. “wait, i don’t want you to have to miss work for me. i have an idea. my place is just a 3 minute walk from here. how about we head over there instead?”

your tears suddenly dried up as you pouted up at him, puffed up cheeks and big doe eyes with a hopeful look on your face.

jisung seemed to look relieved that you stopped crying. “okay. if that’s what you want then i’m down.”

you squealed and jumped up and down, hugging his body close to yours. “yayy! thank you thank you thank you ji!!!” you grabbed his big hand in yours and practically dragged him all the way to your apartment.

your apartment looked exactly how jisung imagined it. so pink and girly, flowers and ribbons and stuffies everywhere. and it smelled so strongly of you, he was about to lose his mind. your fluffy white cat purred and rubbed herself affectionately on jisung’s leg as soon as he entered.

“sweet girl, he smells so good right?” you lifted her up and snuggled her into your arms, giving her kisses all over her fur. “ji, you can set your stuff down by the couch. let me change into some lounge clothes.”

jisung felt so awkward being in your apartment but when you came out, he knew he was really in trouble. you were wearing a lacy silk pink victoria’s secret pj set that looked so flimsy.

“ji, do you want anything to eat? drink?” you walked past him, underwear peaking from beneath your shorts as you walked to the small kitchen.

jisung stuttered. “n-no. i’m good”

you walked over with a glass of water and a pack of cookies. “okay just let me know if you need anything.”

after an hour of jisung trying to lecture topics of micro and macro economics into your head, you just about had enough. slamming the book shut, you felt your brain about to fry.

“ji, i know i’m a business admin major but this is so stupid,” you whined. “why can’t i be as smart as you? i just wanna marry rich and be a stay at home wife.”

“well y/n-“ jisung started but you cut him off.

“no. i’m sick of this.” suddenly you pushed him back on the couch and straddled his waisted, using your legs to lock him underneath you. suddenly you leaned close to his ear and whispered softly.

“baby, i think you are just so sexy when you explain this stuff to me. you are so smart and i want you so bad.” you nibbled on his ear.

and jisung snapped. he was tired of your teasing for the past few weeks. what, did you really think he was so naive and stupid to notice your seduction tactics? you’re quite literally the girl of his dreams and you’ve been the object of his fantasies since he first saw you freshman year. you were always so bubbly and sweet and outgoing, the exact opposite of him, how could he ever stand a chance with you? but now that you’ve finally made a move on him, that was it.

using his strength, he flipped you over and pinned you on your back, gripping your hands above your head. “fuck. you have no idea what you do to me. you think you can just tease me like this, dangling yourself in front of me like a piece of meat, and expect me to not snap? you have too much faith in me.”

your heart was racing and every word he said went straight to your pussy, growing wetter by the second. jisung started leaving wet kisses down your jaw, once hand still pinning your hands above your head and the other gripping your waist.

“jisung you are so sexy. you have no idea how much i have wanted this,” you looked him into his eyes and smashed your lips against his.

3 years of unresolved feelings went into that kiss. he was a much better kisser than you expected, which had you moaning into his mouth and grinding up into his thigh.

he ripped off your pj set, leaving you in just your lacy white bra and panties. “fucking slut. you planned this huh? wanted to bring me to your apartment so you could fuck me huh?”

you whined and started taking his clothes off too. and holy shit was he hiding a beautiful body underneath those baggy clothes. you could always kinda tell he was toned underneath those clothes but nothing compared to this. his body was so well built and chiseled, arms so veiny and thick, you were foaming at the mouth.

he went to take his glasses off but you stopped him. “the glasses stay on while we fuck,” you told him seriously.

he bit back a giggle and ripped your underwear off. your pussy was glistening with arousal. he wrapped his lips around one of your juicy tits and traveled his hands down your body until his fingers rested on your cunt. “does my baby want to be touched here? does her slutty pussy want to be touched?”

you whined and bucked your hips into his hand. “yes! yes please ji i need you to touch me.”

he smirked and started teasing your pussy with his fingers, rubbing them up and down your slit and ghosting over your clit.

“stop teasing me. need more ji,” you sniffled.

he shoved two fingers into your sopping cunt and started pumping them. you moaned loudly, wriggling your body around and clenching on his fingers. with his other hand, he continued to grope at your chest, leaving you needier than ever. god his hands were so hot and they felt so good. so long and big and veiny and the perfect size for touching your cunt.

suddenly, you shoved him off of you and pushed him back on his back. “your turn.”

jisung looked shocked at first but let you take control. you pulled down his boxers and let out a small gasp. “no fucking way.”

jisung smirked at you and tilted his head back, shutting his eyes with a knowing look on his face. his glasses were crooked and falling off his nose but he never looked sexier to you.

“ji, why did you never tell me you were hiding a horse in there?” you asked, completely serious.

jisung stifled a giggle. “never asked.”

“if i had known you were this fucking hung down here i would’ve jumped your bones so much sooner.” you were seriously concerned for your little pussy the next day but at this point you didn’t care.

you gave his massive cock a few pumps with your manicured nails, wondering just how you would be able to fit all of it inside. even his balls were massive and heavy.

you alternating between licking the base of his cock and lightly sucking on his balls. god it was so hot and heavy and smelled so good, so musky and masculine. jisung let out the sexiest groans as you did this, snaking his hands into your hair and gripping your head. “fuck baby that feels so good.”

you gave a small kiss to the tip of his cock and then started sucking, putting more and more of it down your throat as you went. tears pricked your eyes as it went further and further. jisung’s moans got even louder and he started to buck his hips slightly against your face.

you gave licks to the underside as his dick was deep in your throat. with one final push, you bottomed out on his cock and deepthroated him fully, leaving jisung’s mind hazy and body shaking. fat tears welled up in your eyes and fell down your face. good call on the waterproof mascara.

“fuck m gonna cum. you’re doing so good baby, so so so good,” he groaned as you kept going up and down on his cock, sucking and licking his shaft with every bob of your head.

without warning, he suddenly ripped his cock from your face and stood up, leaving you whining and tears staining your face.

“what a cock hungry slut. can’t even go a second without cock ruining her. well don’t worry baby, i’m about to fuck you so good. wanna cum inside your pussy for the first time.”

he reached into his bag for a condom but you stopped him. “no condom. want you in my pussy raw.”

jisung smirked. “naughty girl.” he pushed you on all fours on the couch and positioned himself behind you. “you’re already so wet baby, won’t even need to prep.”

he rubbed his massive cock on the outside of your pussy, teasing your hole and sticking the tip in before taking it out and rubbing it some more.

“ugh fuck me ji! stop teasing just fuck me right now!” you whined out, arching your back and shoving your cute ass in his face.

and without warning, he bottomed out inside you. you screamed at the sudden feeling, his balls pressing up against your clit. your arms gave out from beneath you, leaving his hands to gripping your hips for support.

“m gonna move now, m’kay sweetheart?” jisung groaned. your little pussy was just sucking him so tightly and it was driving him crazy.

his hips drove into your cunt, his big cock absolutely bullying your little pussy. you were a screaming and moaning and crying mess. “yes yes ji! oh my god feels so good yes!”

you felt your orgasm building up, leaving your pussy to clench and drip more around his cock.

“fuck baby. this pussy was made for me. you’re so perfect and gorgeous and i can’t believe i get to fuck this pussy,” jisung was going absolutely feral above you, thrusting hard and fast and deep into your pussy. he was bottoming out with each thrust, balls slapping against your clit.

“m close. where do you want me to cum baby?” ji groaned out.

“inside. cum inside my pussy. please ji, i need it, need it so much,” you cried.

your words sent jisung over the edge. he released his hot load into your cunt, giving a few last hard thrusts.

the feeling of hot cum inside you triggered your orgasm. you cried out in pleasure, feeling absolute bliss.

after you both got down from your highs, still panting heavily, jisung collapsed onto the couch with you on his lap. his head rested in the crook of your neck as you laid your head on his.

“this is a little late but be my boyfriend ji?”

[brodieland]

.˚ 𓈒 ࣪.𝝑𝝔 Spidey Valdez !! ´ˎ˗

Spidey!Leo Valdez x Fem!Poseidon!Reader Synopsis: Your boyfriend, Spiderman/Leo Valdez, takes you to skip school Warning(s): profanity💔💔💔 Word Count: 1592 A/N: a part 2 no one asked for. I hope it doesn't show I still haven't watched Spiderman but im halfway through hero of Olympus now !! PART 1

Finally. Your 10 day suspension was over. Honestly, you could've done worse. Snakes weren't even that bad, school just was dramatic. Percy had already left earlier (not even bothering to wake you up), so he could go with Annabeth. He even had the audacity to send you a text saying-

'forgot ur not suspended anymore. had to pick up the misses anyways. hope ur not late !!😛'

'kys'

You were in fact late. Your mom and step-dad Paul had left for work earlier, and you forgot to turn back on your alarm. You ran as fast as you could to the subway just to miss it, and had to run to school. You missied your entire first period and the first 10 minutes of your next period. Sucks those girls you locked in a room with the snakes, two girls whose names you never even bothered learning, were in your class, sitting right in front of your seat.

"Sorry for being late-" your teacher wasn't in the room. You stood at the doorway and saw thing 1 and thing 2 snickering amongst each other. You stared straight at them. "Something funny?"

"Surprised you're not in juvie." 'Thing 1' said.

"Yeah, you could've-" you cut her friend off.

"Could've what? They weren't poisonous you'd be fine." You started walking toward your seat, stopping to bend over next to one of the girls by her ear. "Check your bag."

You sat back in your seat behind her and watched the girl scrummage through her bag quickly. While she was distracted you tickled the back of her neck, causing her to stand up and scream, making the whole class laugh. You were also laughing till you noticed something to your left. Your classroom had a wall of windows, which was to your left if you couldn't tell. On the outside of the window, there was a.. white stain?? Interesting, you leaned over toward the window and some curly hair under the window, why wasn't he wearing his mask??? You leaned further and saw he was also wearing his school uniform???? He quickly whipped his head up at you and smiled, causing you to smile back.

Then you heard the classroom door open, causing you to quickly turn your attention toward the front of the class. "What is the commotion in here?" Your teacher announced.

"It was her!!" Thing 2 shouted and pointed at you.

"Yeah! She put something in her bag!!" Thing 1 added.

"There's nothing in her bag?? I just got here???" You stood up, "guys did I put something in her bag?" Everyone in the classroom said no, since you know, you didn't. The teacher just calmed everyone down and started to teach. While he was turned, you secretly pulled your phone and saw a text from Leo.

'is ur class important? im bored.' 'I know u saw me at ur window girl, don't ignore me??'

'lets bring it down a notch, I was busy getting myself out of trouble.'

'already ???'

'im such a baddie sorry'

"Ms. Y/N, what is the answer to my question?" Shoot. You weren't listening to the lesson.

"I know the answer Mr." Okay thing 1.

"I asked Y/N."

"Sorry, I didn't hear the question." You apologized.

"No duh, that's what happens when you're on your phone." She snickered, her friend did as well.

"Your such a dickrider-"

"Y/N, that language is unacceptable. Office, now." You rolled your eyes and groaned, grabbing your stuff and leaving without a complaint. The second you stepped out the classroom, you pulled out your phone to text Leo.

'nvm im in trouble again wya'

'have I been a bad influence on you'

'this is mild. now WYAAAA'

You felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned and saw your lovely boyfriend Leo, grinning at you from ear to ear. You threw yourself at him, engulfing him in a hug.

"Hey, no kiss?"

"This is school??-" He kissed you anyways. Why even bother with the attitude anyways. After he pulled away he threw his arm around you and started walking.

"So, what happened this time?"

"Made a joke that I slipped a snake in this girls bag, obviously I didn't though. I even tickled her neck for the full effect. Then she called me out for my phone and I called her a dickrider."

"Wow, the mouth of a lady. My lady of course."

"What a romantic." You both continued walking then you realized, "where are you taking me Valdez??"

"Now she notices," he joked, you glared at him. "The roof of course, I'm sure you can miss one more day."

"Hmmmm..." you stroked your fake beard.

"Stop acting like you're thinking of not coming with me. Lets go." You laughed as his boldness as he started to pick up the pace. Finally you both made it to the roof. Technically you're not allowed up here, but if that was really the case they shouldn't leave the staircase that leads straight to it unlocked. That's just your opinion though.

"Alright Leo, why'd you bing me up here?"

"Come here." Leo stood there with his arms open waiting for you. You didn't need to be told twice before jumping into his arms. "Hop on my back alright?" Confused, you did it anyways. His hands rubbed your thighs getting you comfortable, before telling you to cross them around his waist as tight you could.

"What are we doing?"

"Something fun, don't let go alright?" Oh no.

"Leo, don't tell me," he brought his arm out, and shot a long string out at the building in front of the two of you.

"Then I'll shut up, now hold on tight." Before you could retaliate, you both were off. Leo was swinging the two of you from building to building as fast as he could. The wind in your hair felt amazing, this is what Leo got to experience? You might've been a little jealous now. Eh, your powers were pretty dope too.

"Leo," you said in his ear. "You were right."

"I was what !!" He yelled. "Sorry the air is just SOOOO LOUDDD!!!"

You couldn't help but roll your eyes, how annoying he was. Though you wouldn't have him any other way. "I SAID YOU WERE RIGHTTT!!!!"

"THATS WHAT I THOUGHTTTT." You both laughed as he continued to swing around the city. After a little under an hour, he stopped in an alley way.

"I know you didn't have breakfast." Leo said as he put you down.

"Are you gonna feed me out a dumpster?"

"Well I can't just land in front of a bunch of people without my suit now can I?"

"Fair point." Leo led you out the alleyway, both of you received weird looks from the locals, what did they think was going on back there?

"Ta-da" Leo waved jazz hands in front of the chick-fil-a. You let out an overdramatic gasp, putting your hands in from of your face. "Okay no need for your attitude."

"Attitude? I'm just so overjoyed, now let's go." You dragged him into the place. You both ordered and were now waiting for your food. "How come whenever we hangout we end up eating?"

"Because your always hungry."

"Is this the thank you for paying for your food?"

"You know I always love when you sugar mama me." Leo winked and you just sighed, not without smiling of course. Then you remembered you should probably send a text to Percy.

'Percy, I kinda skipped school with Leo. can I buy ur silence with a chick-fil-a milkshake?? ;)'

'I love u my dearest sister.'

"So that's why you got the milkshake." Leo commented.

"Well of course, can't get in trouble with mother dearest already." Your food was ready and you both were now fine dinning together. Talking, laughing, Leo throwing a fry at your face, you know, the usual !!!

"Leo, it's almost lunch time at school, we gotta start heading back."

"Why, you already missed most the day why bother?"

"Erm," you held up the milkshake, and started shaking it more. "I need to get this to Percy before it melts???"

"I think he'll survive."

"I think you'll make me back to school and let me give this to Percy." You thought correctly because that's exactly what he did. You guys got there just as lunch started and landed back on the roof, rushing quickly and quietly down the stairs to Percy's classroom.

"Hello, my favoriteeee brotherrr."

"Where's my bribe?" He asked.

"No hello?" You questioned while handing him the cookies and cream drink. "Not even after forgetting to wake me up."

He grabbed the drink straight out of your hands with no thank you, "Told you, had to pick up the misses," he gestured to the amazing Annabeth Chase standing next to him.

"You know I picked you up right, like in my car, that I drive, that you can't?" You, Annabeth and Leo laughed at Percy's expense, which he didn't find too funny.

"Whatever, and where were you two." He asked, pointing between you and your boyfriend.

"Flying around the city while you sister was all over me." Leo bragged. What a mistake that was. Percy started chasing him around trying to use his water without making it obvious, while Leo also tried using his fire while also trying not to make it obvious.

You and Annabeth just stood back, leaning against opposite sides of the same doorway, watching the show. She turned to you, "Our boyfriends are special aren't they."

You nodded, "In many ways."

[leavesfallensparse]

Cigarettes & Wine | M. Healy | 1

'I want a photo of you in my bed, to carry with me when I go out west.'

In which Sadie and Matty have a very brief, very awkward, and very anxious encounter, Sadie gets very flustered but quickly finds herself fitting in with the group of rowdy boys and too many feelings are felt for her teenage brain.

warnings: drug use, implied alcoholism, implied parental neglect, my sweet angel sadie being a sweet angel.

word count: 8.5k

a/n: soo .. hiiii! i am juniper and im begging you guys bear with me i have Never posted on here before. BUUUUTT i am vvvv nervous and excited to be posting this but it's been in the works for tooooo long. begging and screaming to be let out of the word doc its been confined to. so here we are i guess. pls enjoy sadie and matty they are my Children. if the title wasn't hint enough.. this is only part one.

Sadie has had the most stressful morning of her entire life. Her tie is untied around her neck and the only thing she cares to grab hold of is her camera. Her entire life is on that thing, and although she may be merely 14, her camera is her child. She hears her mother huffing at the bottom of the stairs and straightens up to catch a look of herself in the mirror, a mess, as she suspected. Her shirt is buttoned up wrong, her skirt is half tucked into her tights, she has on one Mary Jane and her backpack’s contents are strewn messily across her bedroom floor. With some swear words muttered along the way she is in the car within five minutes and her mum is chewing her out for being late to her first day of Year 10, which she couldn’t really care less for.

“I’ll see you tonight, mum! Love you!” Sadie slams the car door before she can hear her mums reply and heads into the school she’s grown to know quite well. She’s fallen into a friend group with some girls that she thinks will do for her high school endeavours, but Sadie already knows she’s destined for bigger than the small town of Wilmslow. Somebody else who thinks this way is Matty Healy, the boy who’s just gone into Year 11. Sadie has noticed him before, they both tend to frequent the music department, Sadie finds it visually appealing for her photo collection, whereas Matty finds it appealing to the ears, especially his own guitar strumming. Any time their paths cross Sadie bows her head and pretty much runs in the opposite direction, face as red as the wine her mum drinks when the sky gets dark.

As Sadie enters the front of the school she signs in late at the front and heads to her class, putting her camera in her backpack as she approaches her English class. She sighs and opens the door with stuttered apologies for being late, Sadie might be confident and come across as such but that doesn’t mean her 14 year old brain isn’t scared of high school teachers and their strictness. She stumbles to her seat and sits down, accidentally throwing her bag at her feet once she gets out the book the class are in the middle of silently reading. Even though she doesn’t know why the class is reading on the first day she’s thankful for it because it lets her mind wander, her dreams of being a famous photographer is what her mind favours over ‘A Tale Of Two Cities’, Sadie finds Dickens to be boring. She prefers the Brontë sisters.

When lunchtime finally rolls around Sadie is where she can normally be found, the music department. Her camera is lazily slung around her neck, her backpack having been left with her friends in the library. She favours avoiding the gossip for finding inspiration in the usual practice rooms, the ones she hasn’t found inspiration in for a while now. She spent every day before the Summer holidays begging whoever might be looking down on her for something to take a photo of. Somebody else had been wandering the same corridors as Sadie. Everyone in her year talks about Matty Healy, “the boy in the year above with a natural affinity for the guitar he’s always carrying around the school carried a naturally mysterious air.” Sadie can’t think of a single girl in her year who wasn’t utterly obsessed with every move of Matty Healy. Including herself, even if she’s very hesitant to admit it, an admirer from afar per se. She likes to think of him more in the sense of ‘his appearance is inspiring to her camera’.  Sadie was looking down at her feet, frowning at the scuffed shoes she wore for the entirety of Year 9 when she felt a larger figure bump into her. As she looks up and sees Matty with a guitar case in his hand she can’t help the pink tint that rises on her cheeks.

“Oh! Erm, sorry!” Sadie somehow manages to force the words out of her mouth. She seems to have the same shyness about her when talking to Matty that she does when looking her English teacher in the eye. An interesting discovery. She loses herself in overthinking the tone she just took with Matty when she hears him reply to her, something she wasn’t expecting in the slightest.

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t paying attention, my bad.” He meets her eyes and genuinely seems like he couldn’t care less about her mistake, he seems to take more notice of her camera, his head tilts and his eyes squint in the direction of it hanging limply on her neck. She seems to grow more confident in herself when she realises he’s looking at her camera, she knows she’s good at photography, that’s something she could talk about endlessly. Matty lifts a finger and points to said camera. “You any good?”

Her eyes widen slightly at the question, and she clears her throat at the same time her head begins incessantly nodding, she is acting crazy. She then begins to overthink her nodding. Why is she overthinking so much? Maybe she’s just having an off-day. She decides that she nodded like that because she knows she’s a great photographer, why would she not be overconfident about it? Seems normal enough.

“Cool. Can I see any?” This is when Sadie’s heart rate picks up. She doesn’t know why; she doesn’t want to know why. She also does not want to know why he is asking her this. Matty’s question has sent her brain into full blown panic mode, maybe she does want to know why he’d like to see her photos. What could possibly intrigue him about her? The squint tie around her neck? Her incredibly dirty Mary Janes? In her 14-year-old brain she decides he fancies her. She’d come to find out in many, many years that she was, in fact, right.

“If you want? I’m bringing my hard drive tomorrow for my art class, they’re letting me use my photos this year, meet me at the library?” She says this with a coy smile on her face, in her head she is feeling a lot less coy because of the way Matty is smirking at her. What she doesn’t know is that he is looking down at her with a smirk because her face is so red that he thinks there’s something wrong, maybe it was something he’d said? After a beat of silence, he blinks down at her with a nod, and they bid their goodbyes. Once Sadie is sure Matty has turned the corner she lets out a silent squeal before quickly bolting to the school’s library and sitting down at the table her friends are at, she might not view them in any light, but they do love gossip. She takes a moment to catch her breath before turning to her friend sat beside her, “Matty Healy wants to see my photos. I have no idea why.”

Suffice to say Sadie didn’t sleep a wink that night. She sneaked through to her dad’s office to edit photos on the family computer at midnight when she was sure everyone was sleeping and when she was sure the photos were on her hard drive she went back to bed and tried to sleep. Unsuccessfully. She then had to drag herself to school the next morning, early, to meet Matty before classes. She had no energy to even be nervous, the eyebags on her face spoke for themselves. She all but flopped down on the seat next to the boy who held in his laugh at the sight of her. “Don’t laugh! I had to edit some of these photos before you saw them, and my bloody dad wouldn’t get off the computer last night, so I had to do it after he was sleeping! Anyways, wanna see?” When Matty nods with a smile she rifles through her backpack for her hard drive.

After silently looking through her photos for, like, three whole minutes, Matty turns to Sadie with a single nod. “So, I’m in a band. I think they’d love these. How about you come to our next practice and take some photos of us? See if they like what you do?” Sadie is now a mere puddle in her computer chair. She doesn’t speak in fear of her mouth betraying her, what would she even say? She nods for a while; she doesn’t know how long she nods for, but she knows it’s been a while.

“Yup, sounds good. Yeah, cool. Cool. Where do you guys practice?” Sadie doesn’t know what the fuck is coming out of her mouth. She is word vomiting all over Matty’s shoes. She wants to apologise but she isn’t sure she remembers the English language. Why is she so nervous? Oh, probably just because the guy that every single one of her peers fawns over is currently asking her to make him and his bandmates her next subject of inspiration. Her next muse. What even is her life.

“At my house. I’ll write the address down for you, hang on.” Sadie’s mouth has gone dry. Now she’s truly forgotten the English language. This can’t be real, and this certainly can’t be happening to Sadie. Matty Healy is writing down his home address for her to have. Not to even mention his literal famous mum and dad. She reaches her hand under the computer desk and pinches her thigh over her wool tights, it doesn’t hurt but she’s now sure this is actually happening. Sadie takes the paper from Matty and tries to process the date and time he’s reciting at her. They’re interrupted by the morning bell and when Matty holds the library door open for her she waves goodbye, bows her head and speedwalks away from him.

Sadie really tries to focus in her classes that day but it doesn’t work in the slightest, all she can think about is Matty Healy and she curses him for it. She tries to read some romance novel when she gets home but she starts picturing the characters as her and Matty and has to put it down. He has unknowingly taken over her brain, and she resents him for it. Can’t a girl even read in peace?! She took pride in being the only girl in her year who didn’t have a crush on Matty, now she can’t even hold that above his head.

By the time Friday rolls around Sadie is already over school, she never tended to like school, but she already knows that Year 10 is going to be dreadful. The one saving grace might come in the form of a boy in the year above. She leaves school and runs home to get changed before she heads to Matty’s address. She has cherished the crumpled piece of paper that held his address since she got it on Tuesday morning, she taped it to her mirror and that is where it will stay. It isn’t like she hasn’t come home every night from school and studied it, she knows exactly where she’s going.

Her shaky hand knocks on the door of said address about an hour later, she biked over from her house and actually enjoyed the ride, the early September sun was shining on her face and lighting up the bumpy country road she took to get here. Her thoughts are interrupted by a lively woman, quite aggressively, swinging the front door open. Sadie smiles up at her with squint eyes because of the sun attacking them, making the blue of her irises look probably insane. “Um, hi? I’m Sadie, Matty invited me to watch his band practice and take some photos of them.” Sadie lazily points to the camera around her neck with an awkward smile. She is coming across very poorly. But alas the woman opens the door wider.

“Oh! He never mentioned, he doesn’t tend to tell me these things though, typical teenager! I’m Matty’s mum, just call me Denise though, sweetheart. They should be in the garage.” Denise walks Sadie to the garage door where she can hear the loud laughter of teenage boys and obnoxious drumbeats. She smirks slightly and thanks Denise, accepting her offer of a can of coke. Once she takes it she enters the garage, and the laughter dies down. “Sadie’s here, boys, she’s very lovely so I don’t want to hear of any teasing or making fun.”

Sadie looks down at her feet as Denise defends her, even though the boys haven’t yet uttered a word. She hears the garage door close behind her and Matty gestures her over to him. He very casually, like it’s nothing, throws an arm over her shoulder and begins introducing her to the three other boys in his garage. She already knows George from a couple of her classes due to them being in the same year, but she lets Matty speak at her anyways. “So, Sades, this is Adam, he plays guitar and he's in the year above me, basically he’s old. That’s Ross, he does the bass, but I think he just pretends to know what he’s doing. And that’s George, obviously he plays the drums, but he just makes a fucking racket.” Sadie flushes at how casually he gestures, how casually his arm is around her, how casually he swears, and how casually he calls her ‘Sades’. That’s a new one.

“Um, hi, I’m Sadie it’s nice to meet you guys. Matty was singing your guys’ praise on Tuesday morning. Been looking forward to this since.” Sadie’s forearm has suddenly become very itchy, and she busies herself in looking around the garage in an attempt to avoid eye contact with any of the aforementioned boys. She notices a few posters on the exposed walls and a couple of guitar cases strewn across the floor, the last thing she notices is a battered leather couch against the wall, facing all of the boys and their many instruments and poor cable management. Sadie leaves Matty’s side and takes a seat on it, placing her coke on the floor and taking the lens cap off her camera.

The practice is well under way and Sadie’s mind has been racing with thoughts of how she’d shoot the band at an actual show. She finally gains the courage to stand up and has failed to notice Matty’s eyes on her the entire time he’s been singing. None of the other boys seem to notice either, Matty doesn’t even realise what he’s doing. When they finish up the last song they wanted to practice (for probably the tenth time), they start chatting about things they should do differently, and Sadie busies herself by looking at her photos on the couch. She gets caught up in them and doesn’t feel the sofa sink next to her, she looks up and sees George looking over her shoulder. “Any good photos of me?”

Sadie can’t help the pink on her face as she nods and turns her camera to him, showing him the few photos she got of him. She found it difficult to get good angles of George considering the size of the garage they were practising in, him being shoved into the back corner. As George was flicking through photos Sadie couldn’t help but study his face, his brows were slightly furrowed as he fiddled with the buttons on her camera, not knowing how to work it. He smirked at a few photos and his eyes scanned over the rest, when he looked up Sadie was suddenly very interested in the opening of her can of coke. She has no idea why she can’t look at any of the boys without her heart rate picking up and her face going bright pink. Maybe because she thinks they’re actually quite cool and she has no idea why she would possibly be sitting in Matty’s garage with them all. But she is.

The next time she has a run in with the band is a week and a half later when they all spot her in the lunch hall and wildly gesture her over. She had spotted them first and tried to look around to avoid them. She really wishes she knew why her subconscious was forcing her away from the boys. (She’s terrified she’ll embarrass herself. That’s why). She gets herself together and heads over to the table they’re sat at, awkwardly placing her bag at her feet. She murmurs something that could be perceived as a “hi” but honestly it could have been anything. “Have you edited the photos yet? We are highly anticipating them.” Sadie nods her head excitedly, glad that the topic is on her photos, something she actually is passionate about.

“Yeah! Yeah, they’re on a hard drive that you guys can have, I forgot to bring it with me today though. I’ll bring it tomorrow?” Matty nods and falls into conversation with the boys, who also include Sadie, sitting there helpless, unsure if she should get up and go to her friends. She dares to glance in their direction and when she sees them blowing fake kisses because of the curly haired boy she’s sat with she rolls her eyes and turns back around. She reminds herself that they are her surface level friends, they have nothing in common whatsoever, they’re too caught up in gossip. Sadie is too caught up in her camera. They don’t gel.

Sadie manages to fall into a conversation with Ross about English and their mutual enjoyment for the subject, she finds it incredibly random but she’s glad to have something in common with one of the boys. She relished in the conversation not being surface level drama that brought a yawn out of her throat, she also relishes in her slight ranting about her passions actually being listened to. Sadie likes Ross and his listening skills. When the bell rings she finds herself bewildered at the fact she doesn’t want to get up from the table, she’d quite like to stay and timidly laugh at the boys’ jokes and general noisiness. But, alas, she must head to the aforementioned English class, she makes a joke to Ross about how she’d rather go anywhere else. They share a hatred for Sadie’s teacher, him having had her for the previous school year. She finds herself falling into step with George, they’re already five minutes late.

They wave a goodbye to the rest of the boys who all disperse into different classes and walks silently with George. They pass by a few people that make them share glances to each other, grimaces present on their faces. Anytime this happens they both laugh and shove into one another until they reach the fated English hallway and George reaches into his bag and pulls out two sheets of handwritten papers. Sadie’s face basically turns into a question mark. “What? It’s the homework?” Upon seeing Sadie’s heart basically fall to her toes George can’t help but let out a baffled laugh. “Don’t tell me you haven’t done it.”

“Shit, George.”

The colder the weather gets the more Sadie begins to feel like an integral member of the group. She’s the one to tell the boys to shut up when they’re talking too loudly. She’s the one to shove Matty anytime he makes another member of the group the butt of his jokes. She’s also the one to tell him when his singing sounds shit. Sadie has been quite the talk of the town recently because of this, her old friends are spreading all kinds of rumours due to her gradually dropping them in favour of the boys. Although anytime Ross catches wind of these in the school corridors he’s quick to shut it down, whether it be defending her or physically getting involved… at least he's there!

The band are meeting up for their last practice before Christmas Day and Sadie is beside herself with excitement, she hasn’t seen the boys since the school broke off for the holidays on the 17th. She wakes up that morning already excited but when she opens her curtains and sees snow she swears under her breath, she couldn’t possibly drag her bikes weak tyres through the thick snowfall. So, she slides her panda slippers onto her feet and heads downstairs, finding her mum in the kitchen with a cup of tea and a cigarette in hand. “Morning, mum! Would you be able to give me a lift to Matty’s later? I was gonna bike over, but it must’ve snowed pretty hard last night.” When she hears the sigh escape her mum’s mouth and the slight thud of her palm on the counter she knows she’s not getting a lift.

Denise was expecting Sadie, she’d grown to expect the young girl’s presence around the house at any given time. But what Denise wasn’t expecting was to open up the door to Sadie, bike in hand, tears staining her bright red cheeks, and no hat on her head. This just wouldn’t do. “Oh! Sadie, sweetheart, what happened? Come in, out of the cold now, just dump the bike, that’s fine. Why did you bike here?” Sadie tries to speak but her brain seems to think that letting a sob rack her body is the smarter way to go about this.

“Mum wouldn’t give me a lift, said she had more important things to be seeing to. Had no choice.” Denise immediately puts the kettle on and wraps the girl up in a blanket, rubbing her shoulders after forcing her to take a seat at the kitchen island. Sadie can hear the boys upstairs and is glad of Denise calming her down and talking to her before she has to face them. After Denise gives her a telling off for not, at least, putting on a scarf, she turns to Sadie with an eyebrow raised. She just sighs. “She does this all the time. Feel like a nuisance at that house. Always in the way.”

Upon hearing this Denise circles the kitchen island and crowds her into a hug which she can’t help but accept. After a beat of silence occasionally broken up by Sadie’s sniffles, the two part, Denise keeping her at arm’s length. “You shouldn’t feel like a nuisance. Listen, any time you come here I’m delighted, probably because you balance the testosterone levels a bit, but not just that, you’re the kindest young lady I’ve ever gotten to meet, and it’s always a pleasure to have you at the house, you keep my boys in check. Now, if you ever feel like this again, phone my number from your house phone, and I’ll come pick you up, can’t have you biking in the snow anymore.”

Sadie nods her head at Denise’s words, letting out a slightly weepy laugh anytime she makes a dig at the boys. She feels strangely warm inside, despite the subzero temperatures she was just faced with, and she doesn’t know why. She’s never felt safer than when Denise took her hand on the kitchen island. Matty’s house is now her safe space she’s decided. Speak of the devil, Sadie hears a clatter from the stairs behind her and when she turns she sees Matty’s eyes light up. “Sades! You made it! I thought you weren’t gonna come because of this snow, glad to see you though, George is chatting shit about your English teacher again. Something about holiday homework, help me take some juice up?”

Sadie takes the blanket with her and with a smile in Denise’s direction she waddles over to the fridge. She makes sure to finish her tea before grabbing a can of coke. Another thing she likes about the Healy house is the constantly stocked fridge, anytime she needs a drink there seems to be one on hand. Almost akin to Mary Poppins handbag. She takes one of the cans Matty is juggling with a giggle and bids goodbye to Denise before heading up the stairs. Matty entertains this journey by telling her that his dad had taken Louis, his younger brother, out to build a snowman a half hour ago and Sadie laughs at the image of his rosy cheeks and tiny hands grasping at snowflakes. She dotes on Louis, always having wanted a younger sibling, she treats him like her own brother.

When the door to Matty’s bedroom opens she smiles at the sight, three boys strewn across the room in one big, lazy mess. They all seem to perk up at the sight of Sadie, George especially. “Thank fuck you’re here, need help with this homework, my mum told me to have it finished before Christmas. And Ross, miserable bastard, is refusing to help me. Have you done it?” Sadie sets down Adam’s can of coke on the desk, cracking her own open before sitting criss-cross on the floor beside George. She nods at him over the can, and he can’t help but cheer and push it towards her, struggling on the carpet. “You’re so much better than me at English. Read what I have.” She sets down her can and skims over what George has written.

“Oh dear, I’ll help you after practice.” At this the boys all glance at each other and the room falls silent. Did she say something? I mean, they’re here for practice, right? Right. Sadie has just missed it, her treacherous journey to the Healy house took longer than usual, and she left late. “Have you already practiced?” When faced with four nodding boys, Sadie sighs and nods too. “That’s okay, we can just hang out, then.” Matty looks at her with a sympathetic grimace. He overheard more of her conversation with his mum than he originally let on.

Matty decides that changing the subject entirely is the best thing he can do in this situation, he doesn’t want to force her to talk about why she was crying to his mum. “We liked the most recent photos you took, really cool. Think you left some of your ones for art on the hard drive, there was a random shot of some leaf in the middle of Ross’ closeups.” Sadie shakes her head, feeling her eyes roll involuntarily. “I mean it was a good leaf photo, I just don’t think it’s our vibe.” Her head is thrown back in a giggle as she takes another sip of her coke.

“You should consider yourself lucky, getting to see my leaf photos. They are very close to my heart.” All Matty can do at this is scoff, he is now the one rolling his eyes. Sadie’s attention is diverted by a sheet of paper being waved in her face. She turns to George with a slight glare, and he backs into himself a bit. “Fine. What do you not understand? It’s just English.”

“I just don’t get it. English doesn’t make sense, I think you’ve forgotten that I am a well-travelled man, Sadie. I’ve been all over the place.” Sadie fixes the boy with a sigh, a straight-faced sigh. She lets his sentence linger in the air as she readjusts on the bedroom floor. She lays on her front as she reads what George has written. It’s not bad, but it’s also not great. And so, she tells him such.

“I mean, it’s not bad, but it’s not great. You could maybe, I don’t know, sprinkle in an adjective here or there, don’t think that would hurt.” Is all she manages to get out before a pillow is lobbed, quite forcefully, at her head. In retaliation she throws the paper back at George. “Well, you can do it yourself then, can’t you?”

“No, no, no! Sadie I didn’t mean it! My hand slipped!”

As the day turned to night the boys gradually left until it was just Matty and Sadie left sitting on his floor, sharing chips that Denise had cooked for them. Sadie put one in her mouth and glanced out the window, noticing it was snowing again, the sigh that came out of her mouth wasn’t meant to sound quite as pathetic as it did. Matty stopped strumming on his guitar and turned to her with furrowed brows, at the sudden silence she met his eyes. “I can’t bike home in this weather.”

“Why did you even bike here in the first place? And why were you crying?” Sadie shakes her head and breaths out a laugh. How does she even answer this? She could be honest, lay her cards on the table, and tell him all about her mum. Or she could be partially honest and tell him that her mum just doesn’t make time for her. Or she could blatantly lie, she’s on her period or something like that. As she weighs up her options she lets out a barely audible hum and Matty cocks his head at her.

“It’s just my mum. She never makes time for me. Refused to give me a lift and I didn’t want to cancel so I biked here. That’s all, I’m okay now, spending time with you guys makes me okay.” Matty’s head falls to rest on Sadie’s shoulder silently. He doesn’t know what to say to her, so he just starts strumming the guitar again. A smile rests on Sadie’s slightly pink cheeks as she hums along to the song Matty is playing, she doesn’t know it to name, but she definitely knows it. “I didn’t think I’d actually make friends in high school.” Matty doesn’t say anything for a minute, processing Sadie’s words.

“Of course you were gonna make friends. I think you’re too good to just be our friend, frankly I’m shocked you put up with our bullshit.” Another beat of silence falls upon the pair. “Just come here if your mum’s being a pain, we’ll cheer you right up.” Sadie smiles at this and feels tears brimming her eyes, and she doesn’t know why. At the sudden sound of the door opening Matty lifts her head and Sadie rubs at her eyes.

“Right, Sadie, I’ve just tried phoning your house phone three times to no answer, so the spare room is set up for you, let me know when you pair decide to sleep.” Sadie doesn’t hear much of what Denise said after hearing that her house was phoned three times, and nobody answered. What if something had happened to her? She sighs and smiles up at Denise from the floor, thanking her before picking at the loose pieces of carpet on the floor. When the door shuts, the tears flow. Matty has never been more panicked in his entire life, he thinks. How the fuck do you comfort your crying best friend?!

“Hey, hey. Come here.” He wraps an arm around her shoulder and all she can do is sigh. She knows if she speaks it’ll end in even more tears, her voice will refuse to work. She gives in and leans into Matty’s touch, the weather outside is a stark contrast to how she feels under his arm. After a few minutes of her silently crying, she dares a glance up at him and sees him staring at the wall across from him with slightly widened eyes, the sight makes her giggle, breaking him from his trance. He looks down at her and joins in the laughter, not knowing why they’re laughing but glad she’s not crying as hard anymore. Yet his eyes widen again when she stops laughing and opens her mouth.

“I want to know why they don’t care about me. I haven’t done anything.” Matty sighs at this, a sick part of his brain wishes he could relate just so he’d know what to say. He looks down at Sadie who is now lying on his floor, upside down from where he sits. He lays down next to her, top and tail, both teenagers looking up at the ceiling, feeling things too big for them to even comprehend, things they shouldn’t have to feel. “Sorry, I feel like the mood is ruined.”

“What mood? You’ve been off all day, making me feel sad. I wish I could make it better.”

“I wish you could, too.”

Sadie has no desire to celebrate her 15th birthday that following Summer. But she’s been faced with no choice. In George’s words they “had to because you only turn 15 once.” George had turned 15 earlier that year and didn’t seem to share that sentiment on his birthday, all they did was go to Matty’s house after school and sit in his living room for six hours. But he was insistent that the group had to go out for dinner, he’d gotten Denise on his side which ultimately led to Sadie agreeing. Her mother wasn’t best pleased, but she’d grown to not care, and her mothers grown to know she can’t fight her anymore.

She got dressed in rapid speed, desperate to get out of the house and reunite with her best friends. She hadn’t even gotten as much as a card from her parents and that says more to her than any words could have, she isn’t even sure they know her birthday is today. Pulling on her jeans, probably quicker than the speed of light, she grabs her jacket and runs down the stairs, she shouts a bye to anyone who cares and hops on her bike to Matty’s house. They’re all meeting there for some big surprise before they go out to dinner.

The August sun is beaming down on her face, she pauses and squints up at the sky and notices how blue it is, she smiles and looks back down at her bike. She decides that draping her jacket over the handlebars is a better idea, her backpack is half on her back because she was in such a rush. When she bikes the familiar back road she takes note of how the trees have turned from pathetic twigs to bright green scenery, she shuts her eyes for a second and let the Summer air infiltrate her lungs. She is grateful to be alive.

When she biked round the corner at the end of Matty’s road she could see all the boys engaged in a water fight, her urge to turn right back around grows stronger the closer she gets, George’s pathetic screams and Matty’s maniacal laughter grow louder, and she can’t help but laugh to herself. She hears Denise scolding Ross for going too rough and shakes her head as she throws her bike down on the driveway, climbing off and running away from all the boys who immediately turn on her with their water attacks. “Hey!! Stop, it’s my birthday!”

George laughs louder than Sadie had ever heard someone laugh before, probably because the boys weren’t targeting him anymore. She squeals and tries to run into the house, but Adam blocks the door, and she feels more water shooting at the back of her head. She hits his chest and tells him to move at least fifty times, but he doesn’t budge so she runs. She runs round the house to the back garden where she knows Matty keeps the water guns, just as she suspected there’s a pile of them, half-full, on the grass. Sure, they’re the shit ones, but they’ll do the job.

She hears a gasp behind her. “She’s found the pile, run.” She laughs and whips herself around, gun in each hand, to the pathetic squeals of four boys who run back around to the front of the house. There’s a knock on the kitchen window which distracts Sadie for a second, she sees Denise waving wildly at her, she waves back and sees her saying “Happy Birthday!” She laughs and runs round the house to get the boys back.

A half hour later Denise calls out the front door for them to come in. They all race into the house, Matty being shoved by George and Sadie laughing so hard she stops in her tracks. She gets stopped in her tracks even further when she sees the pile of gifts under the TV. She gasps quietly and barely hears everyone wishing her a happy birthday in unison, the tears pricking her eyes are stinging the back of her throat. This is the most anyone’s done for her birthday. George puts an arm round her shoulder and shakes her slightly, then slightly shoves her to the presents. “Save the one with the pink wrapping paper for last.”

Sadie’s bottom lip wobbles and she lets out an exasperated laugh. “Guys, this is too much. I don’t even know what to say.” She moves towards the gifts as if they’re going to jump out and scare her. She sees the three cards on the top and picks them up, sitting down on the floor in front of the TV. The boys, Denise, Tim, and Louis are all scattered across the couches and the floor too, just watching. She opens the one from Denise, Tim, and Louis first and smiles through teary eyes at the kind words written on the page. She has the same reaction to the other two cards, one from all the boys, one from just Matty.

After a while Sadie’s face is wet with tears, she’d laughed at some of the funny gifts, and with her new necklace round her neck she looked at the last gift, the pink one, cautiously. “Is it alive? Am I gonna be scared?” Matty laughs and shakes his head. She lifts it into her lap and looks at the tag, it reads that it’s from the boys. Before she opens it Denise cuts in.

“They all saved up for this on their own. Came up with the idea and everything.” Sadie looks to the group of boys on the other couch who all look very smug, she rolls her eyes at their faces and turns back to the gift. She carefully unwraps it and can’t help the sob that comes out of her mouth. The new Sony camera is sitting in front of her. When she gets hold of herself she opens the box and gasps at the sight of it. “Guys, oh my god. I can’t take this, you’re kidding.”

“Well, none of us know how to use it.” Sadie tackles the four of them into her arms, jumping on top of them all on the couch, muttering a hundred thank yous under her breath. She doesn’t even know how the boys managed to afford it, maybe some of Matty’s odd jobs he was doing helped, or Ross’ job down at the shop. She didn’t know, but she knew she would never forget this. Sadie felt that same feeling again from earlier. She was grateful to be alive.

By the time Matty’s 18th rolls around, the rest of the group have a plan. They’ve all saved up enough money to buy tickets to Leeds festival, and they’ve all chipped in to get one for Matty’s birthday. Sadie wasn’t allowed to go before, but Denise gave in this year and let her tag along with the group. She makes all of the parental decisions for Sadie now, since she pretty much lives at the Healy’s house. Denise’s reasoning was that it would be after her 17th birthday, deeming her old enough to go. Matty, Ross, Adam and Jamie had gone last year but all they had talked about when they came back to Sadie and George was how excited they were to go next year, the full group.

Ross, George and Sadie were currently sat in Matty’s back garden, waiting for Matty and Adam to get home from work. Sadie and Ross were sharing a cigarette and talking about the lineup for Leeds. More like arguing. George was observing with a cigarette of his own, he’d only spared one to the duo because he’s stingy. “No, Sadie. Nine Inch Nails are more exciting than the fucking Smashing Pumpkins. Think of it, you’re in a muddy field what would you rather listen to.”

Sadie looks at him like he’d grown a second head. “The Smashing Pumpkins.” Ross just groans, George laughs loudly. “What?! I would!”

“You’re actually fucked in the head, Sadie. George, please back me up.” He passes the cig back to Sadie who takes it and looks at George with a raised eyebrow. He takes a sip of his coke and looks away from the pair, whistling at the sky. Sadie laughs and passes the cigarette back to Ross. He tells her to finish it, so she does.

“No, to be fair to both of you, I’d rather be at Paramore. If I had to choose.” Sadie and Ross both share a look and collapse into each other laughing.

“Okay, one, Paramore is on Sunday, we’re talking about Friday. And two, they weren’t even in the equation to begin with.” Ross nods at Sadie’s words and George just sticks his middle finger up at the pair, who laugh at him again. They hear the back door opening and turn to see Matty, they shut up about their prior argument quite quickly. The trio share a look and have to hide their laughs.

“Hello boys. And Sadie.” They nod up at Matty who cracks open his coke and pours it over the ice in his glass. He looks at the three that have gone silent and squints his eyes slightly before taking a sip of his coke and lighting a cig. Sadie looks at the other two who are giving her looks as if to say, “Say something.”

She turns back to Matty, who turns to her. “How was work?” George lets out a barely audible groan and she looks at him incredulously. Matty nods around his glass and then kind of shakes his head.

“It was okay, not busy, boring. I like it there, though.”

“Yeah, you’re welcome for getting you that job. I’ve been there for like a year now. Remember when I walked in one day and George was just standing in the kitchen? That was stupid.” George laughs at her and she turns to him. “No, I was so confused.”

“I was working, where did you want me to stand?”

“It would’ve been nice to know you were working at the fucking place?” George shakes his head.

“Wanted to surprise you.”

“Some surprise that is, George!” He, yet again, sticks his middle finger up at her. This time she does it back. Matty scoffs and leans his head back with a sigh, he stretches his arms and one of them comes to rest on the back of the bench behind Sadie.

She points up at the sky, the sun is setting behind the clouds which cast a pink hue down on the group of four. They stay outside until the sun is probably in the middle of the sky in Australia. Adam arrives not long after Matty and Sadie gives him a subtle nod and thumbs up, trying to tell him that they got the Leeds tickets today. He looks confused at first, but he gets it after a minute. When Matty goes inside the four speak in whispers about how they have to tell Matty, because George is unable to keep it a secret. The back door swings open again and the four sit up straight. “Right, you guys are hiding something from me.” Sadie can’t help herself.

“We’re going to Leeds.”

Leeds was a fucking nightmare. Everyone fought. Everyone made up. Then they fought again. They all got so high they probably couldn’t see. Ross and Sadie ended up seeing Nine Inch Nails together after losing everyone else, and despite being in the clouds, Sadie remembered to act like she didn’t want to be there. Until she actually started enjoying herself. And George got to see Paramore. Almost. He passed out and Sadie shouted at him in the medical tent after he just came to because she was missing out, she was forced to take him to the medical tent.

Sadie was sick on some girl’s shoes at the Kings of Leon set. It was her, George and Adam having the time of their lives until some older girl started flirting with George, obviously he was loving it, but Sadie was already having a bad high and when she saw the way that girl was looking at George she just couldn’t help it! It all kicked off when George and the girl teamed up and tried to fight her. George was forced to take her to medical and as she was thrown over his shoulder he was yelling about how she’d ruined the weekend.

Safe to say the drive home was silent. Matty had the biggest hangover behind the wheel and Ross was cradling Sadie in the backseat as if she were his child, George was practically hanging out the window on the other side of Sadie. The one memory she has in the car is when they were all sat on the grass, ages away from any music, when Matty turned to the boys and said, “Reckon we’ll be on one of these stages soon?” The question was ringing through Sadie’s mind.

A few days later the group were all sat in Matty’s garden (like usual) with drinks in hand, reminiscing on the festival after they’d all taken some much needed time away from each other. Anytime Matty’s eyes caught hers she felt her heart stop. She isn’t sure he remembers but the day after they got back Sadie jolted awake with a vision of her kissing Matty. She doesn’t know when or if it actually happened, but it seemed too real to be something she conjured up in the middle of the night. Ever since, she’ll wake up in a cold sweat with visions of Matty’s lips on hers. She remembers it being a life-changing kiss, though, so there’s that at least.     

Sadie makes a point to be the last to leave Matty’s house, she’ll probably end up sleeping here tonight, like usual. It’s a rare sight to see Sadie sleeping in her own bed these days, it probably occurs once a month at most. When Adam shuts the door behind him, Sadie feels her heart fall out of her ass, the silence is less than comfortable. If she can feel the shift in energy surely Matty can. He sits down beside her and turns to her. “Do you remember?”

Sadie feels like she’s died in her seat. Her eyes have practically fallen out onto the dining table. She spins her glass on the table awkwardly, thinking of what to say. What would he say if she lied? Would he pretend it never happened? She decides not to lie, because when his face is as close to hers as it is right now, she thinks she’d like to kiss him again. “Yeah… Do you?”

“Wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t, hmm?” Sadie feels like her 14 year old self, meeting him for the first time. Her face is flushed pink, she’s picking at the tracksuit bottoms on her thighs, and she’s avoiding eye contact. She wishes the ground would eat her alive, because one thing about Sadie is she doesn’t know how to flirt. “Hurt me seeing you kiss that other guy the next day.” As he says this his hand has come up to play with the loose strand of hair that had fallen out of the front of her ponytail. She looks up at him through her eyelashes. Her voice is no louder than a mutter.

“Sorry, didn’t know what I was doing, don’t even think I knew where I was.” Matty laughs softly at this and looks down at his lap, but his eyes catch Sadie’s nervously picking at the loose thread on the seam of her tracksuit. He feels his heart skip a beat as he grabs it. This makes her face him, looking into his eyes. The silence around them is suffocating and Sadie feels like she might pass out on the floor. When he makes the move to shuffle slightly closer, she smirks at his face. She doesn’t know where she grew the confidence but when she mutters, “Just do it.” He breaks the distance.

The butterflies in her stomach feel cliché, the way the kiss picks up in pace feels even more so. His lips on hers feels like coming home to your own bed after you’ve been abroad for a week. It feels like the smell of your own house after being away for a while. She knows that when her hand comes up to the back of his neck that it holds an ulterior motive, this is confirmed by his hand on her hip, guiding her closer. She wants to consume him in this moment. When they break away for a breather, Sadie doesn’t open her eyes, she doesn’t want to face this moment, but when she feels a squeeze on her hip she can’t help but open one eye. Matty laughs and leans his forehead to hers.

“Sleep in my room tonight.” That’s all that Sadie has ever wanted to hear.

The slight fling between Sadie and Matty didn’t really last for very long. The group all moved into a flat together and the flame between them just kind of flickered out. George noticed the change in Sadie’s demeanour ever since. He was the only other person who knew about Matty and Sadie, but because he was the best friend of both he had to be there for both. It was eating him alive. He was laying in Sadie’s bedroom, joint between his lips. They were sharing it.

“He fucks anything with legs. But I can’t move on. What’s with that?” Sadie plucked the joint from George’s mouth, and he rubs his eyes his face with a groan. He watches the smoke leaving Sadie’s lips intensely, staring at the way it clouds up in the air and dissipates into nothingness, this is how Sadie and Matty’s relationship felt. He sits up slightly on the bed with an indignant sigh.

“His way of coping, I suppose. He didn’t exactly get an explanation as to why you stopped sleeping in his room. Now he just needs someone sleeping there to fill that void for him.” It’s Sadie’s turn to sigh now. She knows George is right, but she doesn’t like the answer and she doesn’t want to hear that he’s suffering. He’s being a bitch and he should just come and speak to her. Silence falls over the duo and George stubs out the joint gently before opening his arms for Sadie.

She isn’t feeling very grateful to be alive.

[phoenix--flying]

pjo characters as things my friend group has said

Hazel: I just kinda radiate towards caves

Nico: Breathing has been taken out of Nicos software

Connor: I can speedrun to your house when you're home alone

Cecil: raisins are dehydrated rats

Percy: It's a roller coaster where the only option is to die

Will: I just goooot- my jugular sliced open by a cat

Nico: We're going out tonight and killing all the homophobes. Call it a date

Will: Why am I so much taller then- Oh its cause im standing on a dead body

Connor: You're sooo welcome. I literally did nothing

Hazel: Just because your trash doesn't mean you can't do great things. It's called a trash can not a trash cannot

Piper: Cut my hair, I'll cut your throat

Thalia: Sometimes I do slap kids

Travis: When I grow up I'm gonna be a legal drug dealer

Beckendorf: I’m going to drop kick myself into space

Malcom: Briefly describe three applications that make use of the total eternal reflection of light Connor: The colour seven

Grover: Percys reaching old age, we should put him in a retirement home

Piper: Leo what did you do Leo: I may have burned down an orphanage and it may have spread to this site.

Lou Ellen: Travelling, usually done on the ceiling

Will: Imagine sitting on your couch watching TV and your phone buzzes. Reminder: Breathe

Austin: i just broke an acorn.. panic whY IS THERE AN ACORN IN MY ROOM

Nico: i feel like today happened yesterday and i just slept for all of tomorrow and woke up in the evening

Malcom: yeah i fell down the stairs and broke my spine in 3 places Connor: that's hot

Jason: Nitroglycerin. The forbidden smoothie

Will: I always look like trash. Annabeth: I know that's why I hate looking like trash

Travis: well we only have a few minutes left of class.. y'all wanna watch something explode

Piper: It sounded like you smoked 10 packs of cigarettes and then hit puberty

Jason: Imagine you get fired the day after you die

Nico: My stomach just like...started learning German

Nyssa: Leo if you don't leave, i'm shoving this desk fan up your ass

Jason: I slammed my foot on the accelerator, running multiple red lights at 220km/h, because I wanted to drive safe

Nyssa: When you go through the car wash but you forget the car

Drew: *points at trashcan* That looks like you

Nico: I only want chemistry between me and a coffin

Jake: Gotta put your wheelchair in 4Wheeldrive. Outdoor mode. Off-road mode

Leo: Murder is ok as long as its fine

Percy: Maybe if I fall asleep on my textbook I'll wake up with all the knowledge

Connor: Let's play spin the bottle but it's only you and me

Leo: Now how do we calculate the density if swiss cheese

Clarisse: I have to ask one of the experts Chris: Who are the experts? Clarisse: I don't know

Piper: Your mom is on vacation Leo: well- she's on a permanent vacation

Michael: AYO BITCH YOUR FOODS FLAMIN THE FUCK

Silena: If you're slow I'm a fucking snail

Jason: We need to hold a funeral! Percy: Here comes the bride

Beckendorf: Have you ever died? No??? Well here you go!!! Death simulator. It’s permanent!

*Annabeth and Percy sitting on a bench with drinks and a cop drives by* Percy: What if they thought we were drinking and driving Annabeth: We're not in a car

Will: I'm so smart Nico: Oh my god since when

Piper: *gives Leo a singular goldfish* Piper: Feeding the poor

Lou Ellen: Bless your soul Nico: What soul? Lou Ellen: ...good answer

Sherman: an apple a day keeps the doctor away, and anybody else if you throw it hard enough

Connor: I can see the veins in my eyes

Ellis: Whatever sinks your boat!

Cecil: You can't kill the gays if the gays kill you first

Will: dude sorry there's a knife in your grandma's face it grew wings and flew there :( Cecil: I’m sorry my knife flew out of my hand and slit that guys throat then burned it so he wouldn’t bleed

Silena: *playing Minecraft* I walked into your house and your birds started aggressively dancing at me

Lee: That's just so unfortunate for me. That is just so- oh I died

Percy: Wanna go to Toronto? Why drive just take the Earth Quake on natural disaster

Travis: The roof is just caving in on us it's fine

Michael: My arms are broken, my legs are broken, my lungs are broken, my knees are broken, I got decapitated when I was five

Connor: We're gonna die? No we're gonna beat the speedrun world record

Cecil: Hell to go down I there

Will: Mask to mask resuscitation

Travis: I may or may not have accidentally dropped a match in the building on purpose

Nico: Minecraft but I accidentally sets a school on fire

Percy: Minecraft but I die of hypothermia

Piper: Minecraft but I left my eyes at home

Jake: Minecraft but my legs are broken

Jason: Minecraft but I died

Lou Ellen: Minecraft but we're all gay

Will: If I die the game is homophobic

Cecil: Minecraft but I run my best friend over

Nico: I wanna hit a citizen with a baseball bat

Michael: Hey sir, you have Alzheimer’s. Would you like a side of bronchitis?

Silena: Why can't this be straight? Lee: Because you're not

Lou Ellen: mmmm i love my jesus fish Cecil: bro jesus fish Lou Ellen: ikr, jesus moment

[anzulvr]

୨୧ On Purpose Karma x (fem) Reader || Chapter: 04 ୨୧

Prev || 04 Oblivious || Next

— Since the entire student council was present and the library was notably crowded with students who had signed up for the lecture, [Name] entered the library on her own.

She felt guilty, having to ditch her plans with Karma after an unresolved argument they decided to brush over. To make matters worse, she has to sit through a two-hour session and watch Ren shamelessly flirt with every girl in the room. On the brighter side, this ordeal counted towards her volunteer hours.

"You're late. You missed my introductory speech."

"My fault, I'll make up for it by working extra hard!"

She mentally thanked Karma for convincing her take the longer route, saying, "It's not a big deal if you're 10 minutes late... or 30." It was impressive how Gakushuu's speeches managed to put her to sleep every time, missing it was a win in her book.

Koyama called him over, something about a broken printer and an angry librarian.

 ...aaand she was all alone again.  [Name] decided to go check on the group at the back table.

"Oh, [Name] made it—she can help us!" The first year, Chisa blissfully smiled.

"But I wanted Asano to help. [Name] could you please ask him to?" Chisa's friend insisted, clearly not as enthusiastic about the anyone-whose-not- Asano's arrival.

[Name] tried not to let it bother her, being the only girl in the student council came with a lot of pressure.

She’s just as helpful and capable as the rest of the group but no one seems to acknowledge it. Everyone calls them the “Big Five” even though there’s technically six of them as her scores tie with Seo.

"He's busy with Koyama, but maybe later."

The girl groaned and sulked laying her head on the table. Chisa looked apologetic for her friends dramatics. [Name] offered them a polite smile and said, "Let's get through your assignments then."

After half an hour of helping the girls turn in missing work, [Name] decided to take a short break. She left for an empty table in the very corner of the room, the short break turned into a long one when she got distracted texting Karma.

‧₊˚ Message Log ‧₊˚

[Name]: can we talk? im super bored!!

Karma: Whose fault is that?

Karma: should have ditched to be with me the whooleee day

[Name]: ugghhh don't. Can you believe I still have another hour of this 

[Name]: anyway what are you doing?

Karma: I bumped into Nagisa on my way back from the library

Karma: now were at Maehara's house with Rio and Fuwa.

[Name]: Rio?? That one beautiful, smart, sweet, blonde girl in your class?

Karma: Sounds like you like her alot.

[Name]: She makes me nervous

Karma: Hey that's how you used to talk about me before we went out

[Name]: I can hear the disappointment through the text lmaoo

‧₊˚ Message End ‧₊˚

"You haven't even been here for an hour and you’re already slacking off on your phone?"

"Gakushuu! Geez you came out of nowhere." [Name] shut her phone off and patted the seat next to her.

To her surprise he slumped down next to her instead of insulting her and walking off, like he usually does.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm exhausted to say the least. This was a stupid idea no one is making progress, well no one but Ren, he managed to pick up quite a few desperate ones today."

"That's not completely true, I helped Chisa and her friend turn their C's to A's. As much as I hate being here it's not useless. Useless was the Bakesale we tried last year where the cupcakes we sold tasted like horse crap. It was funny watching people pretend to love them and hold back the throw up because they came from you."

"Could of stopped at the first half, but thanks, I think. My father said I wasn't being organized enough, that this would be a failure on my half and an embarrassment on his."

"That's a little harsh, you're doing your best and you've done more than anyone else in the council. Ren's been giving out his number more than he's been lecturing, Seo has been in the bathroom for 20 minutes, Teppei has been stuck on the same group this entire time and to be honest Koyama is hard to look at. Im pretty sure I saw the girl he was teaching closing her eyes while he was talking."

The corners of his mouth twitched upwards.

"You're right I'll go yell at them in a few. It's not a big deal though, My father has said much worse."

"To be fair, I haven't exactly kept my promise either. Hard work turned into hiding in a corner to text my b- actually I should get back to work, actions speak louder than words!" [Name] stood up to leave. Asano grabbed her sleeve, it was impulsive and the immediateness of it made it all the more awkward."

"Uh, Asano? Is there something you still need?" She crinkled her eyebrows.

His cheeks became somewhat pink, [Name] thought he couldn’t have been blushing, maybe it was allergies.

“No, just don't get distracted on your phone again."

"Yeah Ive got it!" She waved him off and went back to work, 

Gakushuu sat there slightly conflicted with his thoughts and his feelings, He faulted the all nighter he pulled last night, sleep deprivation does negatively impact mind clarity. He decided he should get back to work too.

Meanwhile ☆ ༄

"Let me get this straight, instead of asking me like normal people the class collectively decided to stalk [Name] and I?"

"Pretty much... but I was against it the entire time!" Nagisa replied sheepishly, to his surprise Karma's response was a relaxed nod.

"You're acting weirdly cool about this."

It sent a shiver down his spine, in a weird way Karma was scarier when he didn't react. Not knowing what he's thinking was an uncomfortable feeling.

"It's not a big deal- unless you guys tell people, that's when things will leak."

Fuwa's voice highers a few octaves in concern "What things?!" 

"Telling you would ruin the surprise wouldn’t it?”

Maehara, reckless as always chimes in “I wanted to go and see [Name] but I couldn't. We were almost a thing before you stole her ya know?"

Nagisa, being the good friend he is, rushes in to save him "That's not it at all! Isogai told us she rejected him a bunch of times since he's a womanizer!"

"I'm not a womanizer, I'm smooth."

"Smooth is the surface of the floor you'll be on when I knock your sorry ass out."

Maehara quickly moves behind Rio who changes the subject with a flood of questions;

"How long have you been dating? Why would anyone go out with you? Did you scare her into saying yes?"

"I’ll tell you if you buy me soba. Better question is: Why wouldn't someone go out with me? I’m tall, handsome, smart, charismatic… and I have a sick spice collection.”

“Im also all of those things.” Maehara jokes, cautiously this time, using Rio as a human shield.

[bwabys-scenarios]

Fixer Upper

Part 15

Perv!Kurapika x Fem!Reader

part 14

part 16

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They rode by airship for a day, before switching to riding by train.

(Name) stretched as they excited the airship, now wearing a soft blue sweater with a drop shoulder and bishop sleeves, along with a white, pleated skirt. One of her legs had a knitted white and blue thigh high, the other covered in her white cast.

“That flight was so relaxing!” Leorio said, pulling (Name)’s suitcase behind him.

“Well this time we were in first class, not like when we flew during the exam.” Kurapika said, watching (Name) and Gon with a small smile.

“What are we going to do now?” Gon asked as he trailed behind (Name), holding onto her sweater so he wouldn’t get lost on the crowd.

“Now, we need to find a train.” (Name) said, giggling when Gon jumped in excitement.

(Name) followed behind the two, occasionally being helped up steps by Kurapika or Leorio.

Gon opened the door to their first class room, the group gasping.

“So this what a first class cabin looks like!”

Gon jumped onto the red couch. “Oh this is great, it’s so soft!”

He began sinking, Kurapika walking over. “What’s the matter, Gon?”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get out of this thing.”

“You’re injured, so you should be taking it easy.” He turned to look at (Name). “You too, sunshine. Go ahead and rest.”

She sighed, plopping down on the couch next to Kurapika.

“I was hoping we could go and explore the train together!”

(Name) blinked as she began sinking into the plush couch, hearing Kurapika gasp beside her.

“Are you kidding? What makes you think I wanna do that? You always try to poke your nose where it doesn’t belong, no thanks.”

“So what am I supposed to do then?”

“Why don’t you ask Kurapika or (Name)? Maybe they’ll go with you.”

“Hmm… well Kurapika, (Name), what the-“

(Name) had fallen sideways, pretty much all up in Kurapika’s lap. Her upper half rested between his legs, and when he pulled them up to try and hide himself he kneed her in the face.

“Ouch!”

“Ahh, (Name), I’m so sorry!”

Gon sighed. “Yeah, never mind.”

Kurapika hovered around (Name) as Leorio held her face. “You’re fine, there won’t even be a bruise.”

The blonde sighed in relief, sitting next to her again. “I’m so sorry, (Name). I didn’t mean to, I-“

She shushed him with a finger to his lips. “I already told you, it’s okay. It was accident, you didn’t mean to.”

He pursed his lips, before realizing it looked like he was kissing her finger. She giggled, pulling away.

“… it still hurt you though, and I’m sorry for that.”

He leaned down and pulled her into a hug. “I want to protect you, always be there for you.”

She patted his back. “Thank you, Pika. I know you would never hurt me on purpose.”

The blonde sighed against her shoulder. “You’re too kind, (Name). Thank you for putting your trust in me, you won’t regret it.”

They pulled away from each other, Leorio stepping between them. “Okay, (Name), it’s time for your medicine. You can get all lovey dovey with each other after.”

“Lovey dovey!?” Kurapika exclaimed, face going red. (Name) glanced at the blonde before her face also heated up.

She took her medicine before sitting back down. “Oh, it’s a pretty high dose… meh, you should be okay. You’ll just be a little…”

“High?”

“Yeah.”

It took only 10 minutes for the medicine to take effect. “Leorio… my head feels funny…”

She started to sway, before Kurapika laid her down. “Hey, you should lie down before you hit your head.”

The girl whined, grabbing his tabard and pulling him into his arms. “Pikaaa! Don’t wanna!”

He attempted to break free of her grasp, but couldn’t without hurting her. ‘Looks like I’m stuck here.’

But really, lying next to her as she cuddled into him, occasionally feeling her lips brush against his cheek wasn’t… awful.

In fact Kurapika was enjoying himself quite a bit. She was in his arms, gently holding onto him like he was something precious to her. He found himself returning her cuddles, nuzzling into her shoulder.

The girl eventually fell asleep, keeping a tight hold on him even as she slept. “Wow, look at you Kurapika. Got yourself a girlfriend.”

The blonde flipped Leorio off. “Shut up, she’s asleep.”

“What does that mean?” Gon asked, holding up his middle finger.

Kurapika blinked before hiding his face in (Name)’s shoulder to avoid accountability. Leorio sighed. “Gon, don’t do that. It’s an offensive gesture.”

The boy quickly hid his finger. “Oh, I’m sorry!”

When (Name) woke up, she released Kurapika, but still kept her head on his shoulder. That was, until she needed to use the bathroom.

The other two were getting dressed for the day and brushing their teeth, but Kurapika was helping her stand up. “Do you want me to come with you?”

The still loopy (Name) giggled. “Pikaa, why would you come with me? We can’t pee together, it’s the women’s restroom!”

He blushed, but she wasn’t done. “Well… you do kinda look like a girl…”

Leorio interrupted to save his blonde friend the embarrassment. “Go on, (Name). If you’re not back in 10 minutes we’ll come looking for you.”

She whined. “But I’ll miss my Pika!”

Kurapika patted her shoulder. “I’ll be right here. Just go ahead, the sooner you get it over with the sooner you can lie back down.”

She sighed, walking away slowly on her crutches.

“Will she be alright? It’s hard enough walking while… loopy, but with crutches-“

Leorio snickered. “Why don’t you go hold her hand while she pees if you’re so worried?”

Kurapika huffed, plopping back down on the couch. “You’re so crude. Is it so wrong to worry about a friend?”

Gon smiled. “No, I think it’s nice. You gotta protect her after all, right?”

The blonde nodded, a smile returning to his face. “Yeah, I do.”

———————

Gon held up a roll of tape, already wearing several bits of tape on his face like a beard.

“Gon, that’s going to hurt when you pull it off.” Kurapika said, glancing up from his book. The boy tilted his head, looking him dead in the eye as he sticks another piece of tape to his cheek.

“Don’t come crying to me when your face is red and swollen.” Leorio chimed in.

“Be nice to my baby!”

They looked to to see (Name) poking her head in through the door, pouting.

“We weren’t being mean we-“

(Name) huffed, walking in and plopping down next to Gon. “Excuses. Gon, I think your… beard looks great!”

He beamed, before looking down to her cast. “It sucks that you can’t wear your socks on your other leg, now you aren’t matching.”

She sighed, a pout on her lips as she stared down at her white cast. “Yeah, it sucks but what can you do.”

Kurapika patted her hand before standing up to leave. “I’ll go grab us some drinks. I’ll be right back, (Name).”

(Name) watched him leave, sighing. “(Name), no pouting. He’s not gonna be gone for long.”

“But…”

She crossed her arms, Gon frowning. ‘What can I do to cheer her up..?’

Gon glanced down at the tape, an idea coming to mind.

He held the roll of tape up to her thigh high, seeing the color nearly perfectly matched the color.

“(Name), can I see you cast?”

Kurapika walked down the hallway, holding a few cans of juice in his arms. He smiled to himself thinking of (Name)’s reaction when she saw he’d gotten her strawberry juice.

“(Name), I’m b-“

He felt his cheeks turn a light pink at the scene in front of him. Gon was putting the final touches on his idea, the girl beaming at Kurapika.

“Pika, Pika look! Gon made them match!”

He looked at her cast, seeing Gon lean back after putting on the last piece of tape. He’d made little stripes along the cast, attempting to match her thigh high. It wasn’t perfect, but (Name)’s excited face made Kurapika’s heart melt.

‘This is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.’

He walked over, quietly squishing her cheeks. “It’s… it’s cute. Your cast, I mean.”

She giggled, Leorio smacking Kurapika’s arm. “Hey, what are you doing?”

Kurapika blinked, realizing what he did. “Oh-“

He pulled his hands away from her cheeks, the girl immediately reaching out to pull his hands back. “Noo, don’t stop!”

Kurapika’s eyes softened when he saw her lip quiver lightly. “Alright, I won’t.”

He cupped her cheeks again, squeezing gently this time. ‘Soft…’

Leorio groaned. “You two make me SICK! Gon, let’s get out of here.”

The boy giggled, waving to the two before following Leorio out the door.

(Name) seemed perfectly content in that moment, nuzzling against his palm.

And he didn’t mind, not one bit.

———————

They arrived at the town where they would find Kukuroo Mountain. As they excited the train, Kurapika was beginning to realize how much walking they’d be doing.

“(Name), do you want me to-“

She was already being hoisted up into Leorio’s arms. “Come on, princess. You shouldn’t be walking on that leg.”

The blondes eyebrow twitched, and he was a little happy when (Name) began to struggle in Leorio’s arms. “Noooo, I want Pika!”

Kurapika marched over, pulling her into his arms and sticking his tongue out at the taller man. “I’ve got you, (Name). I’m right here.”

Gon tilted his head. “Wouldn’t it be better if Leorio held her, since he’s a doctor in training?”

(Name) teared up, shaking her head. “No! Only Pika!”

“Well, can’t argue with that.”

Gon patted her back. “It’s okay, Kurapika will carry you. He’s gonna keep you safe.”

Kurapika felt his chest swell with pride, his tummy full of butterflies as she chose him. She wanted him, and only him.

He couldn’t deny that it felt good to be the one she sought after when she was in need.

“A tour bus?”

“They really have that?”

(Name) grumbled when she heard them talking, burying her face in Kurapika’s shoulder. The woman they’d asked directions from smiled softly at the sight, lowering her voice as to not wake the sleeping girl.

She woke up when she was jostled by the bumpy bus ride. “Ugh…”

She held her head, looking up at the ceiling of some vehicle, feeling herself jump a little.

“Oh, (Name), you’re awake. Did you sleep well?”

She blinked, not answering his question. “Where am I… how am I…”

She looking down, to see her lower half sitting in Leorio’s lap. “Oh, we’re on a bus. We figured lying across us would be the most c-“

(Name) immediately tried to roll off of them, Leorio pulling her back up by the hips until she was sitting upright in his lap.

“Hey, stay still! You’re gonna hurt y-“

He hissed when she began wiggling around, squeezing the fat of her hips until she stopped.

“Owie!”

He let go, instead wrapping his arms around her waist. “You can’t be trusted to not fall and hurt yourself, so I’m going to keep a hold on your until we come to a stop.”

Kurapika smacked Leorio’s arm. “Hey, why is she saying ow? Did you hurt her?”

His eyes flashed red, the girl whining and reaching out for Kurapika.

“Want my Pika…”

Leorio groaned. “Kurapika, trust me, you can’t handle all this.”

He gestured to the girls wide hips, that rested right on top of his crotch. Kurapika raised an eyebrow. “And you can?”

Leorio scowled. “Better than you could.”

(Name) eventually fell back asleep, this time looking miserable. “Ya know, she could at least be a little grateful I’m holding onto her.”

“Well she didn’t want you, she wanted me.”

Leorio didn’t quite like the way Kurapika said it with that smug smile on his face. “Uh huh.”

(Name) whimpered in her sleep, hiding her face in Leorio’s neck. He groaned when he felt her lips brush against his sensitive skin.

“What was that?”

Kurapika gave the blushing man a suspicious look. “N-nothing! Just… ready to get to our destination.”

(Name) mumbled something against his skin, Leorio shivering. “(N-Name)? Did you say something?”

She was quiet, and he could feel that her breathing was steady. “Pika…”

He sighed, glancing at the blonde, he was holding onto (Name)’s hand, thumb grazing her knuckles.

‘Can she feel him comforting her, even in her sleep?’

(Name) woke up again when she heard people screaming. She groaned, eyes fluttering open to see she was outside now.

She was being shielded from something, Kurapika crouched over her as something exploded in the distance.

“There’s not a scratch on it!” Gon said.

(Name) rubbed her eyes, slowly trying to stand before Kurapika offered his help. “(Name)!”

He seemed happy to see her awake, offering her crutches. “There you are, (Name). Can you walk?”

She nodded slowly, standing next to them as two people shook down an old man and took his keys. They entered the small doors, the guard sighing to himself.

“Ahh, now they’re going spike Mikes appetite.”

“Mike?”

“Doesn’t that sound like the name of a cat?”

(Name) yawned as people screamed from behind the gate, and only blinked sleepily when a claw dropped off two skeletons through the door.

“Alright everybody, time to get back on the bus!” Coco, the tour guide called. Gon only shook his head.

“It’s okay, you go ahead. We’re going to stay here, thanks!”

————————

(Name) sat in Leorio’s lap again as Zebro spoke to the group. She was trying her best to listen, but her head still felt fuzzy. She was able to stay awake long enough for Zebro to finish his explanation.

The keys were a distraction, the only true way to get into the estate was through the heavy main doors.

Leorio handed (Name) off to Kurapika as they walked outside so he could try pushing the gate open.

When he couldn’t, the old man nodded. “This gate is also known as the testing gate. If you can’t open it, then you have no business entering the Zoldyck property. Now if you’ll please stand aside.”

Zebro took off his jacket and tie before pushing open the gate. (Name) gasped. “Wow, you’re jacked!”

Leorio pouted next to her, before attempting to push the gate again.

“You’re a very clever young man, you know that? Never attack anyone that comes through the testing gate. That’s the other order Mikes been giving.”

He smiled at the girl in Kurapika’s arms, who looked perfectly content. She’d fallen asleep again.

“(NAME)!”

(Name) whined a little when she felt something nuzzle into her side. She heard Gon laugh nearby, slowly opening her eyes to see it was now dark, and some wolf like animal was curling up next to her.

The two older boys had their weapons out, assumably ready to defend Gon and (Name) if needed, but the animals seemed to become tame in their arms, a few even surrounding the girl as she drifted back off to sleep.

“Do you think it’s okay to leave her out here?”

“She should be okay, I can sense that none of these animals wanna h-“

“I’m not leaving her out here alone. Not when it’s dark and she’s surrounded by those beasts. One of them chomped on Gon’s head earlier!”

“Aww, but he was just being-“

He was silenced when they watched the wolf do the same to (Name), Kurapika having to be held back to not kill the animal.

(Name) yelped when she was snatched up, the wolves that had surrounded her growling at the blonde.

——————

“Hey Gon, would you like to go in and meet Mike now?”

“Sure!”

“Then I’ll open the testing gate so you can see him face to face this time.”

“I’d like that!”

(Name) felt Kurapika hold onto her tighter as they walked the testing gate. When she opened her eyes, there was a beast of a dog staring at them. “Puppy?”

When it made eye contact with (Name), it faltered for just a second, then tilted its head. Zebro seemed surprised, but didn’t say anything. ‘In all my years, I’ve never seen Mike act that way when taking in the scent of someone new…’

“No, (Name), that is NOT a puppy.” Kurapika said, patting her back. “Go back to sleep.”

“Well, we should probably get moving. The servant quarters aren’t too far from here. We’ll put you up for the night, come, follow me.”

(Name) hummed, spotting Gon next to her. “Gon, sweetheart, you getting sleepy?”

She played with his hair, before squeezing his cheek. Gon laughed, leaning into her touch. “Haha, not as sleepy as you I bet!”

She laughed, before Kurapika readjusted her in his arms for the walk to the servants quarters.

(Name) was sat down once they reached the servants quarters, yawning as Kurapika helped her good foot into a slipper. Zebro moved just in time to catch her when all of the others fell.

“What’s with the slippers??” Kurapika asked.

“Oh right, I forgot, they each weigh 20 kilograms.”

Zebro set her down at the table, fixing the group cups of tea.

Leorio gasped when he took the cup.

“Hey, what’s wrong with you?”

“You’ll know soon… enough! Just try to take a sip of your tea.”

(Name) watched as the two struggled to lift their cups before leaning down to lap at it like a cat.

Kurapika pushed her back a little. “(Name), don’t do that. It’s bad manners.”

He instead lifted her cup to her lips, allowing her to sip. She drank, then smiled up at him. “I love you Pika…”

He blushed, dropping the cup. “Love? I…”

She yawned, leaning her head on the table again. He wasn’t sure what to do, watching the girl sleep with his face as red as his new tabard.

“Wow, was the tea that good?” Leorio joked, elbowing his blonde friend. Kurapika didn’t answer, only leaning down to kiss the top of her head.

Gon and Leorio glanced at each other, the boy smiling wide.

——————

When she awoke again, she was sleeping resting in a bed, the sky dark. She sat up slowly, holding her head.

She looked around, wondering if her friends were nearby, only to be greeted by an empty room.

“Gon? Leorio?”

Her voice became more frantic by the second. “P-Pika?”

She stumbled out of bed, yelping when she fell to the floor. (Name) groaned, reaching for her crutches when she heard the door open.

“(Name)- oh no, are you hurt?”

It was Kurapika. He wasn’t wearing his tabard, just his tanktop and pants. Kurapika rushed over and helped her up, sitting her back in her bed.

“I’m okay… but…”

She began tearing up, pawing at his shirt. “You left me all alone… where did you go?”

He sighed, sitting on the bed next to her. “Zebro thought it was best if you slept in this bedroom. It’s the only room in the house with normal appliances, so you can open the door to use the bathroom easily. Considering you need to use crutches and are still taking your pain medication, it’s only fair.”

She whimpered, holding onto his hand. “But why did you leave me?”

He blinked, seeing that her eyes were still half lidded, meaning she was still not fully there. “(Name), I’m… I’m a man, I was sleeping in the same room as Gon and Leorio.”

“B-but…”

Tears fell from her eyes as she tugged on his shirt. “But we’ve been sleeping together most of the exam…”

He attempted to reason with her, holding onto her hand. “But (Name), the exam is over. We don’t need t-“

She began fully crying then, pulling away to rub at her eyes. “Th-then you only wanted to sleep with me b-because you had to?”

His blood ran cold at her tears, the blondes hands hovering around her as he frantically tried to think of what to do.

“N-no! I…”

He pulled her into his chest, holding onto her like she was something precious to him, something he couldn’t bare to lose.

“Being… being next to you is all I could ever want. I…”

He went quiet, simply tucking her into bed before climbing in next to her. She sniffles, snuggling up to him as he soothed her, planting sweet kisses on the top of her head.

“Doesn’t feel right without my Pika…” she said softly as she drifted off to sleep. The blonde felt his heart thump against his ribs painfully, resting his chin on the top of her head.

“Your Pika is right here. So no more tears, okay?”

She nodded before leaning up to give him a kiss on his cheek, barely missing his lips. “Mhm… love you, Pika…”

The blonde could barely contain his excitement, wanting to squeeze her tightly and kiss her all over, but she was asleep again. Instead, he wiped away her tears and tried to sleep too.

But it was hard when his heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest.

————————

“Oh wow, and he calls ME a pervert. I don’t sneak into girls rooms in the middle of the night, but he gets to!”

Kurapika and (Name) groaned at the loud voice of Leorio, the former throwing a pillow at him.

“Hey! Just because you’re tired from your fun night with (Name) doesn’t mean you get to sleep in!”

The blonde sat up, rubbing his eyes as the girl next to him whined, scooting towards him to cuddle into his tummy. This surprised him, causing him to giggle. “Hey, (Name)! That tickles!”

She giggled as well, sticking her tongue out at him. “Now you know how I felt!”

Leorio groaned. “Come on, it’s time for breakfast. Kurapika, let’s leave so she can get dressed.”

(Name) was suddenly wide awake at that. “Wait, no! Don’t leave!”

She wrapped her arms around Kurapika’s waist, staring up at him. He tilted his head, cheeks beginning to turn pink again. “(Name) I have to leave while you change.”

She frowned, but sighed. “Well… can you wait outside the door for me? Please?”

He couldn’t say no to that cute face. “Alright, but hurry up.”

(Name) nodded, moving to throw her shirt off before the door was even all the way closed. The blonde decided to ignore the fact he’d nearly seen her shirtless, sighing to himself. ‘That girl…’

She pushed the door open, Kurapika pushing off of the wall he was leaning against to greet her. Today, she wore another sweater, this one a lilac color. She wore shorts toady, another pair of knitted striped thigh highs.

Or well, one thigh high, since she couldn’t wear one of her broken leg. She looked cute, but he was frustrated for her. It was winter, and she couldn’t even wear pants to keep herself warm. Thankfully, the knitted thigh high seemed to help a bit.

He helped her walk down the stairs, spinning her around a little when he helped her down the final stair.

“Hehe, Pikaa!”

She giggled as he spun her, the blonde soon joining in on her laughter. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it.”

He pulled out her chair for her when she sat down at the table, almost about to feed her, but she shook her head. “Thanks Pika, but I’ve gotta train too!”

“She’s right. We’ll need everyone’s help if we’re going to see Killua before we have to leave!” Gon said, taking a bite of his breakfast.

For a bit, she struggled to lift up her fork, eventually able to lift a bite of eggs to her mouth. Once she was able to do that, Kurapika sighed and began to eat his own food.

——————

(Name) fell over when they put the weighted vest on her. “(Name)!”

She sat up with a great effort, being pulled to her feet by the blonde. “Maybe it’s best if she doesn’t wear-“

“No, I can wear it! It’s…”

She grunted, holding onto her crutches. “It’s just going to take some getting used to.”

Zebro watched the two with great interest. ‘That girl, they worry a great deal about her, but she seems capable to me…’

He didn’t miss the way Leorio hovered around her, the tall man’s eyebrows furrowed. ‘Something else must be causing his anxieties.’

(Name) began training with the group, but because of her injury, she was stuck doing things that allowed her to sit down.

The girl grumbled as she washed dishes, struggling to lift the heavy glass plates.

“You’re doing a great job, (Name).”

The girl glanced up from her work to see Zebro pulling on his jacket. “With your injury, I’m surprised you’re able to do even this.”

She sighed, placing her rag in the water. “Thanks, Mr. Zebro. I’ll continue to try my best.”

He gave her a friendly pat on the back before he left.

(Name) was tasked with cooking dinner, keeping the downstairs clean, and helping Kurapika with any tasks that he had to do sitting down.

Currently, she was making sandwiches. The girl peeked out the window where the boys were training. “Hey, guys, how do you like your sandwiches?”

“I like ham and cheese!” Gon said, smiling. Leorio agreed with him.

“Yeah, me too but add some lettuce on mine!”

She glanced at Kurapika, who let out a tired sigh before smiling. “I’m not picky, but…”

He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “Could you cut off the crust?”

“Yeah, sure! Gon likes the crust cut off too, Killua as w-“

(Name) went quiet, her face falling. The three exchanged a look before Gon walked forward. “Hey, don’t be sad, (Name). We’re gonna get him back. No matter what!”

She sighed before giving him a smile. “Yeah, no matter what!”

The three continued their work, coming inside to eat lunch.

———————

When it was time for bed, both Gon and Leorio snuck glances at the blonde as he pulled off his tabard.

“Are you you going to sleep with (Name) tonight?” Gon asked after brushing his teeth.

The blonde shook his head. “No, she’s sleeping by herself tonight. To heal properly, she needs plenty of rest and room to move around. I told her as much.”

Leorio snickered. “What did you do to get her to agree to that?”

“…”

Kurapika narrowed his eyes, before sighing. “I promised I would… I would cuddle with her before bed.”

His cheeks began to turn pink, Gon laughing. “Aww, you’re so nice, Kurapika. I’m sure she feels nice and safe now!”

Kurapika nodded slowly, climbing into bed. “Yes, I hope she does.”

Leorio pulled off his shirt before turning off the light. “Aight, lights out. Goodnight, guys.”

“Goodnight Leorio!”

“Goodnight.”

They all drifted off to sleep as the moon watched over them.

——————

Kurapika sat in the Kurta Clan Elders room, kneeling on the floor.

‘I’m… here? Why…’

“So, I heard from Pairo that you lied about the outside seeing your scarlet eyes.”

He felt his blood run cold, pale hands clutching at his tabard. “Elder, I… I just wanted to see the outside world, I’d didn’t mean to trick you.”

“You didn’t just trick us, Kurapika. You killed us.”

The man turned around, the blondes eyes going wide with shock and fear. His elder’s eyes were gone, the empty eye sockets crying tears of blood.

“Was it worth it, Kurapika? Was the outside worth getting all of us killed?”

The elder stepped forward, grabbing Kurapika’s shoulder and shaking him. “They desecrated our corpses, took our eyes, killed our children, and you weren’t there. You should have died with us!”

Kurapika shot up, clutching his chest as his heart hammered against his ribs. Tears streamed down his face, the blonde gasping for air as he frantically felt around the bed.

‘Need her… where is she?’

He looked down to the empty spot next to him, remembering he hadn’t slept next to (Name) tonight. Before he could even think, he was walking out of the bedroom door and down the hall.

Kurapika stumbled into (Name)’s bedroom, consequentially waking up the sleeping girl. “Pika? Pika are you alright?”

He didn’t answer, and it was almost like he was on autopilot. Kurapika didn’t fully register climbing into her bed and burying his head into her chest, only able to feel the warmth of her embrace around his body as he sobbed.

(Name) wasn’t sure what was going on, but she knew he was distressed. He choked out a few words, mostly apologies and promises to make things right. She had the feeling he wasn’t saying this to her.

“Shh, shh, just breathe, okay? Deep breaths, Pika.”

He struggled, his breath coming out shaky as he attempted to listen to her instruction. She felt her shirt become wet with snot and tears, but that was the furthest from her mind.

“Breathe with me, okay?”

She cupped his cheeks, wiping his tears as she breathed. It took a few attempts, but he started to follow her lead, taking in a shaky breathe with her and letting it out.

Kurapika calmed down gradually, his racing heart slowing enough for him to breathe normally. After a few minutes, he sighed, leaning into her touch as she wiped away his tears. “There, that’s better.”

Kurapika opened his eyes, seeing her looking at him with those pretty (e/c) eyes. He didn’t realize just how much her presence alone could comfort him, the blonde leaning forward to press his forward against hers.

“You okay, Pika? You don’t have to tell me what happened, but if you want to talk it out I’m here for you.”

He took a moment to respond, his eyelids fluttering shut. “It… it was a nightmare.”

She waited for him to continue, rubbing soothing circles into his back.

“My… as you know, my clan was…”

He began to choke up again, quickly raising a hand to covers his watery eyes.

“You don’t have to tell me, I-“

He shook his head, lowering his hand to give her a soft smile. “No, no I would feel a lot better if I… talked it out with you.”

(Name) allowed Kurapika to take the lead, the blonde gesturing for her to sit up. She did, holding herself back from giggling when he wiggled around to lay his head in her lap.

He stared up at her, those pretty brown eyes seemingly waiting for her to do something.

She giggled slightly before placing her hand in his hair. “This what you wanted, sweetheart?”

He melted under her touch, nodding slightly. In this moment, Kurapika didn’t have the capacity to be embarrassed. All he could feel was the overwhelming need to be comforted.

And she was the only one that could fulfill that need.

“Whenever… whenever my clan was massacred, I was away trying to find a doctor for my friend.”

She frowned, the blonde sighing softly as her fingers combed through his hair.

“Before I was able to leave, I had to go to the outside world and return without my eyes turning red.”

(Name) tilted her head. “Why’s that?”

Kurapika cuddled into her stomach, smilingly lightly when she giggled. “Well, most people fear or covet our eyes, so them being seen by outsiders is considered dangerous.”

She’d forgotten about that. “Oh, yeah…”

Kurapika resisted the urge to plant kisses along her soft skin, instead nuzzling his cheek against her tummy. “Whenever we left, the elder gave us special eye drops so if they turned scarlet they would stay that way until we came home.”

(Name) nodded, brushing the hair out of his face so it wouldn’t get in his eyes.

“My friend switched out the eye drops for water, and when I failed the challenge, my eyes were able to fade back to brown before we got home.”

Kurapika let out a shaky breath, burying his face again. She felt his grip on her tighten, continuing to play with his hair.

This seemed to help a little, and after a few more tears, he was able to speak again. “… in my dream, my friend told the elder about my lie. I… I fear that my lie may have been the cause of their death. The elder… he was angry. He told me it was my fault…”

(Name) pushed him a little so she could look him in the eye. “Pika… let’s talk this out, okay?”

He nodded slowly, giving her his trust.

“Would your friend have done all that he did just to tell the elder you lied about your eyes?”

He was quiet for a moment before shaking his head. “No, that wouldn’t make sense.”

“And would your elder really blame a child for a simple mistake?”

Kurapika shook his head again, his eyes clearing up a bit. “He wouldn’t. The elder was a bit strict, but he was kind. He would never…”

Kurapika sighed in relief, like a burden had been lifted off his shoulders. “(Name), I can’t thank you enough. My mind is much clearer now.”

She smiled, leaning down to kiss his forehead. “No need to thank me. I’ll always be here for you, Kurapika.”

The blonde felt his entire body relax, his eyes softening as he looked up at her. Again, when he was looking up at her all he could think of was how angelic she looked.

“May I…”

He sat up, and fidgeted with her comforter. “May I sleep here tonight? If I get another nightmare, I d-“

She pulled him down again, this time cuddling into his chest. “Let’s get to sleep, or Leorio will scold us tomorrow.”

He wrapped his arms around her, sighing into her hair. “Thank you, (Name). You’re wonderful.”

She laughed, Kurapika unable to keep himself from smiling at the pretty sound. “You are too, Pika.”

As they embraced, Kurapika couldn’t help but sigh. ‘I’m sorry for being selfish, (Name). I woke you up, and now I’m taking up space in your bed again.’

He didn’t say this, though, instead drifting off to sleep as the girl in his arms hummed softly.

——————

8 days passed by, the two now sleeping together every night. It made sense to, since Kurapika had frequent nightmares that could only be helped by (Name), and (Name) didn’t like sleeping alone.

Kurapika was teased a few times by Leorio, but for the most part no one turned blinked an eye at the pair heading to bed together.

They grew closer by the day, now comfortable enough to change with the other in the room. Of course, being the gentleman he was Kurapika always turned away while she changed, but couldn’t bare to leave her alone for too long. He told himself it was for her sake, but even he knew it was a lie. Kurapika wanted to be near her just as much as she wanted to be near him.

(Name) yawned, Kurapika helping her put her vest on after she changed. “I’m getting used to it, but it’s still a hassle.”

He nodded, pulling his own vest over his head. “You’re doing so well, though. The first day, you were barely able to pick up the glass plates, now you lift them with ease.”

(Name)’s face heated up at this comment, her hands playing with the fabric of her knee length skirt.

“I hadn’t even noticed, I guess the change was so gradual that I didn’t register it.”

He patted her head before pulling her to her feet. “It’s hard to notice change in yourself, but others can see it more easily.”

(Name) nodded, grabbing her crutches and standing in front of him. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I can see you changing too, Pika!”

“How so?” he asked, ever curious.

“Well for one, you’re becoming a lot cuddlier.” she teased, pointing to his hand absentmindedly holding hers. Kurapika dropped her hand, cheeks turning red.

‘Wait, when did I grab her hand?’

Holding her, touching her had become second nature. He hadn’t even realized he’d been holding her hand until she pointed it out.

(Name) giggled at his reaction. “It’s alright, I don’t mind!”

She took his hand again, squeezing lightly. “If it’s you, I’ll never mind.”

That fuzzy feeling returned, Kurapika’s eyes softening as she led him out of their shared room. ‘I don’t mind, either, (Name).’

————————

(Name) cheered as Kurapika opened up the testing gate. “You did it Pika!!”

She cheered, the blonde laughing when she jumped into his arms. “Couldn’t have done it without you cheering for me, (Name).”

They hugged, Kurapika taking in her warmth before letting go. “Alright Gon, your turn.”

Gon opened up the gate last, the other three congratulating him.

They said their goodbyes, (Name) following behind the others as they walked towards the Zoldyck manor.

(Name) winced as she struggled down the rocky path. Kurapika was quick to catch this. “(Name), are you…”

He looked down at the path, sighing. “I should have thought about this. Come here, (Name).”

She did as she was told, yelping when he picked her up, holding her bridal style. “I don’t want you hurting yourself.”

She stuttered out a response as he began walking. “B-but I’m way too…”

He tapped her thigh lightly. “Shh, I’ve got you. I’m not going to drop you.”

Now she was blushing, staring at his hand on her thigh. “Ok…”

Leorio rolled his eyes before picking up her crutches. “Stupid blonde and his stupid natural charisma…”

“What was that Leorio?” Kurapika asked, raising an eyebrow at the man.

“Nothing…”

(Name) poked her lip out in a pout, the blonde laughing. “Oh, don’t pout, (Name). You need your rest.”

But that wasn’t the only reason he was holding her now, only an excuse for his true intentions. He wanted to hold her.

Kurapika knew that their time together would be coming to an end soon, and when it did, he was afraid he wouldn’t seen her again.

(Name) held onto his red tabard, snuggling into the soft fabric. “Alright, but I get to hold you later.”

“H-hold me?”

His grip loosened, the girl squeaking as she began to slip from his grasp. Kurapika quickly repositioned her, giving an apologetic look.

“Sorry, you… surprised me.”

‘What does she mean by getting to hold me?’

(Name) continued pouting as they continued down the path, Gon occasionally trying to cheer her up.

“Look (Name), a ladybug!”

Although she did smile for a moment each time he showed her a new thing, she always went back to pouting.

Leorio saw a girl up ahead, glancing to (Name) and Kurapika.

“Hey, let’s leave (Name) at a safe location. In case…”

He glanced at the girl waiting for them, then back to (Name). “… that sounds like a good idea. I’ll be right back.”

(Name) blinked. “Wait, why can’t I come with you?”

Kurapika placed her down near a stream, smoothing out his tabard. “It won’t be long, once we find out if the girl is a threat or not, we’ll come back for you.”

(Name) tugged on his sleeve, her lip quivering. “But…”

Kurapika patted her head until she let go. “I’ll be back soon, (Name). Stay here, okay?”

She said watched him go before turning to watch the stream.

———————

The three returned around 15 minutes later, Leorio and Gon being injured.

(Name) was quick to help them. “What happened?”

They explained that the girl they had seen was guarding the gate, and every time they stepped over a line drawn in the dirt, she removed them by force.

“That complicates things. Did you tell her we’re Killua’s friends?”

Gon nodded, staying quiet. He was frustrated, she could tell. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, the boy relaxing slightly. “Gon, if anyone can get through to her, it’s you. We haven’t known each other long, but you’re one of- no, THE most stubborn boy I know. If it weren’t endearing it would be annoying.”

Gon cracked a smile at this, glancing at her. “Thank you, (Name). I’ll keep trying.”

“That’s my boy!”

He giggled when she pulled him into her arms, ruffling his hair. Kurapika watched the scene with soft eyes, holding onto his tabard.

Leorio glanced at his blonde friend, face softening when he say Kurapika staring at (Name) with those lovesick eyes.

(Name) spent the next few hours making flowers crowns to cull her boredom. Every once and a while, she could hear the sound of something making impact with something else.

And in her heart, she could feel Gon’s resolve. He was the one being hit, she knew it.

(Name) jolted when she felt eyes on her. “Hello? Is anyone there?”

She grabbed her crutches, ready to use them as a weapon when she spotted them.

There was a child standing on the other side of the stream, staring at her with inquisitive pink eyes.

“… hello.”

(Name) glanced towards the path, estimating how much time it would take her to reach the others if the person decided to attack.

“Hello.”

The two stared at each other, the child unmoving. “You are (Name), correct?”

The girl frowned, her grip on her crutches tightening. “Yes, why do you ask?”

The child didn’t respond, continuing to stare at her before turning and leaving. (Name) decided not to question the strange incident. She just kept a good grip on her crutches, hoping her friends would be back soon.

When the sun began to set, Kurapika returned. He gave her a small smile before picking her up again.

“We’re headed to the butlers quarters now. Supposedly we’ll be able to make a direct call to the house.”

(Name) nodded, brushing some dirt off of his cheek. “You alright, Pika?”

He laughed. “Yes, if there’s anyone you need to worry about, it’s Gon. You were right, he is incredibly stubborn.”

This caused the girl to fidget with his tabard uneasily. Kurapika noticed this, sighing. “He’s also alright, just a little bruised and swollen.”

She bit her lip. “Really?”

“Yes, now let’s get going.”

The two met up with Leorio, Gon, and Canary. (Name) chatted with the girl as they walked, Gon joining in as well. The other two stayed quiet, Kurapika’s grip on (Name) tightening occasionally.

‘This could be dangerous. At the first sign of trouble, I’ll run with her.’

He felt a little bad for this thought, but knew his friends would understand.

——————

They arrived at the butlers quarters soon after, being welcomed in like esteemed guests. Kurapika sat (Name) down on the couch, sitting next to her soon after. He kept a hand on her shoulder as he scanned the room.

“Ah, I gotta pee…”

She tugged at one of the butlers sleeves. “Which way is the bathroom?”

The butler gave her a polite smile and pointed to the left hallway. “Thank you!”

Kurapika stood to follow her, but (Name) shook her head. “I’ll be fine! You stay here and make sure Gon doesn’t do anything stupid.”

He wanted to follow her, but wouldn’t go against her wishes. “… alright, but don’t take too long.”

She wobbled away, Kurapika watching her walk away with a sigh. “Oh god if you start sighing again I’m going to throw myself out a window.”

Kurapika scowled at the taller man. “Hmph.”

(Name) walked down the long hallway, occasionally peeking into rooms to see if it was the bathroom. She got a few weird looks from butlers but other than that nothing particularly unusual.

“Weird, there’s no bathroom this way…”

She glanced up the staircase. “Maybe there’s one up here…”

(Name) glanced down at her cast then back to the stairs. “Whelp. Yolo.”

She began walking upstairs, one at a time. It wasn’t easy, but she was slowly getting the hang of it!

That was until her crutches slipped, causing her to lose balance.

As she closed her eyes to brace herself for falling, ready to feel the pain of tumbling down the stairs, she paused.

“Wait, I’m… I’m not falling?”

“Yeah, that’s because I caught you.”

She blinked, opening her eyes to see killua holding onto her arm, looking both mildly irritated and amused.

This expression shifted to one of surprise when she launched herself forward to wrap her arms around him. “Killua!”

He felt tears begin to stain his shoulder, the girl not able to hold back her sobs as she held the boy tight. “You’re okay! Oh my god, I was so worried!”

He held onto the back of his shirt. “… I don’t understand. Why… why do you care about me so much?”

She sniffled, pulling away a little to give him a warm smile. “Because you’re my friend, Killua. Of course id worry about you.”

He didn’t know what to do, how to react. He could only bury his face in her shoulder, taking a minute to compose himself.

She held him gently as he steadied his breathing. Once he had regained his composure, he pulled away slowly. “… let’s go see Gon.”

The two walked downstairs, Killua keeping an eye on her to make sure she didn’t slip again.

(Name) opened the door, Killua right behind her. Kurapika’s eyes widened, the man shooting up to join her. “(Name)!”

He hugged her, burying his face in your shoulder. “I… you took so long, I was worried.”

“Sorry, Pika. I just couldn’t find the bathroom.”

Gotoh, the head butler heard this. “The bathroom? It’s just beyond that door.”

He pointed to a door on the right side of the room. She cast a glare at the butler that gave her the wrong directions. “I see…”

Kurapika followed her to the bathroom this time, waiting outside the door for her.

———————

The five traveled by bus into town, all smiling and laughing. The group was back together again, and just in time too.

“Hey Kurapika, your flight isn’t until tonight, right? We should all spend the day together, since we’ll be going our separate ways.”

Kurapika nodded slowly, glancing at the girl next to him. “Yes… I think that’s a good idea.”

She snuggled closer into his side. “You know, I’m gonna miss you a lot, Pika.”

His breath hitched, squeezing her hand. “I…”

Leorio spoke up. “I’m starving, what are we eating for lunch?”

Killua perked up, about to speak but was stopped by (Name). “We can’t eat chocolate robots for lunch.”

“Buzzkill.”

They reached town soon after, the group splitting into two groups to sight see. Kurapika and (Name) were an automatic pair, the blonde not even considering going with anyone else.

“Alright, I’ll go with Killua and Gon. Kurapika…”

He put a hand on the blondes shoulder. “Don’t get her pregnant.”

(Name) began laughing while Kurapika turned bright red. He smacked Leorio’s hand, unable to even speak.

“Oh don’t tease him, Leorio.”

She looped her arm with his. “My Pika would never have thoughts like that. Right?”

He stuttered out a response. “Y-yes of course!”

They began walking away, Kurapika feeling his heart beat against his chest. ‘Pregnant? That’s…’

The image of her, sitting at the kitchen table with a cute baby bump, making cookies appeared in his mind. “Pika, you’re home!”

She kissed his cheek, giving him that pretty smile that he would never get tired of. “Look, she’s kicking!”

She placed his hand on her baby bump, and he could feel tears brimming in his eyes. “She’s saying ‘hi daddy!’”

“Pika? Earth to Pika!”

The blonde jumped when he saw her hovering in front of him, waving her hand in front of his face.

‘Did I really just imagine…’

“Sorry, what were you saying (Name)?”

The two continued to chat as they walked around town. Eventually, they met up with the others for lunch.

“Mmm!”

(Name) sipped on her favorite milkshake, kicking her feet. Kurapika smiled, his head in his hand as he watched her.

“Is it good?”

She nodded quickly, continuing to sip on it. Kurapika couldn’t help but sigh dreamily. She looked adorable, really, enjoying her milkshake under the little umbrella over their table.

“Man, I wish I ordered one, you’re really selling it.”

Leorio stared at her milkshake, and (Name), being the sweet girl she is, offered it to him. “Here, you can have the rest! If I drink too much I’ll get a tummy ache.”

Leorio cheered, reaching out to grab the milkshake, but it was quickly snatched away by Kurapika. “Hey! Y-“

He watched as the blonde placed the straw in his mouth while making direct eye contact with him.

“Oh, Pika! That’s not nice.” (Name) scolded, but by the time she did, he’d already sucked down the rest of the milkshake.

“Pikaa, you’re gonna get a tummy ache.”

“And a knuckle sandwich you little-“

The waitress approached their table. “Hi, will you be paying together, or do I need to split the bill?”

(Name) paused, her face going pale. ‘Oh crap, I don’t have any money.’

She made a distressed noise as she began to dig around in her backpack, but Leorio was quick to speak up. “It’s together, I’ll be paying.”

Kurapika held up a card. “No, I’ll be paying.”

Gon pulled out a few bills. “Wait I’ve got it!”

But they all paused when Killua pulled out a card that obviously didn’t belong to him. “Here.”

The waitress smiled and took the card. “I’ll be right back with your receipt.”

Kurapika was pouting. ‘I wanted to pay for her lunch…’

(Name) shyly toyed with her napkin. “Thank you, everyone. I really appreciate it.”

The all gave her a smile, Gon stuffing his money back into his bag. “It’s no problem! I know you would have done the same for me!”

She smiled, reaching over to pat the boys head. “Of course!”

———————

“Ugh…”

Leorio blinked as the blonde walking next to him groaned. “Are you seriously dragging your feet like a child?”

Kurapika huffed. “No.”

“You are. You are and it’s actually pretty funny. Just because (Name) isn’t around doesn’t mean you have to turn into a brat.”

“Brat!?”

Just a few minutes ago, (Name) parted ways with them to hang out with Killua and Gon for a bit. They were headed to the arcade, and when Kurapika began to pout about not getting to come with her, she pulled him to the side.

“Pika, I need you to do something very important for me, okay?”

He nodded slowly, allowing her to gently pull him down so she could whisper in his ear. “I need you to make sure Leorio doesn’t get into any trouble, okay?”

Kurapika sighed. “Okay, I can do that.”

She patted his cheek. “Good boy.”

His face erupted into a dark red blush at the pet name. “M-mhm.”

Kurapika didn’t want to leave her side, not even for a second, but he would do next to anything to please her.

“What can I do to get you to stop pouting?”

Kurapika glanced at his taller friend, who was giving him a sympathetic look.

“… well…”

He twiddled his thumbs, staring at the ground as his cheeks turned pink again. “I, um… I wanted to get (Name)… a gift.”

Leorio’s eyebrow raised, the blonde quickly waving his hands. “J-just to have something to remember me by! It’s not anything… anything…”

To help his poor friend out, Leorio sighed. “Yeah, yeah. You want to get her a souvenir, huh? Well let’s start looking.”

The two searched all over town for somewhere to shop for (Name), but their efforts produced nothing.

“Shit, this town sucks. Not a single store that sells her size…” Leorio grumbled. Kurapika nodded, seemingly frustrated.

“That’s stupid. How is it fair that she doesn’t get to wear the same clothing other women do?”

He kicked a rock, Leorio nodding in agreement. “Hmm, maybe we’re going about this the wrong way. What besides clothes would she like?” Kurapika asked.

Leorio hummed, spotting a building in the distance. “Pika, I know where we can go.”

“Don’t call me that.”

The two entered the bright pink shop, Leorio immediately leaving his friend to browse.

That was a mistake.

When he glanced back up to see what the blonde was doing, he had to do a double take.

“Kurapika.”

“… yes?”

“She doesn’t need thirty keychains.”

“…”

“Also all of those are hideous. How did you find every single one of the worst keychains in the store?”

He helped the blonde put them up, now pulling him around by the arm. “Here, look in this section. Don’t wander off, STAY here.”

The blonde grumbled while he browsed, but he had to admit, the little trinkets here fit her a lot better. “What do you think she’d like best?” Kurapika asked.

“She likes cute things. Like Sanrio products.”

“Sanrio? What’s that?”

Leorio stared at the man. “Are you being serious? Hello Kitty, My Melody, Keroppi.”

Kurapika gave him a confused look.

“Oh my god, just get her this.”

Leorio shoved a keychain into his hands. It was small, pink, and had a cartoon cat holding a strawberry at the end.

‘She does like strawberries…’

——————

It was getting late. The group planned to take a bus together to the airport, and Kurapika was both dreading and looking forward to seeing her again.

‘Maybe… maybe I could ask her if she’d like to come with me…’

His heart thumped against his heart painfully at the thought. ‘No, I couldn’t ask her to put herself in danger like that… but…’

He held onto his tabard, looking into the distance. ‘I can’t bare to be away from her…’

Leorio was having a similar crisis, tapping his foot against the concrete. ‘I need to think of something, quick…’

He looked down at his phone and stared at his ticket.

As Leorio typed away at his phone, the three arrived at the bus station. Kurapika immediately jumped up to greet them, his eyes softening when they landed on (Name).

“Hello…”

He seemed nervous, hiding something behind his back. “Hi, Pika.”

She tilted her head at his shy expression. “Is something wrong?”

“No! No… I…”

He fidgeted for a second more before revealing his hands, showing her the small gift bag. “I… wanted to give you this.”

She stared at the small gift bag, her cheeks heating up. “For me?”

He nodded, not making eye contact as she took the bag. She glanced at him before opening it carefully.“Oh my gosh!”

She pulled it out, her face morphing into one of pure joy. “Pika, you didn’t!”

She giggled, dangling the keychain from her finger. “It’s so cute, I love it!”

He let out a sigh of relief. “Thank god, I-“

He turned red when she pulled him into a hug, planting a few kisses on his cheeks. “You’re so sweet, thank you so much!”

He attempted to stutter out a response, but could only pat her back in return.

The five boarded the bus, and much to Kurapika’s annoyance, Leorio was very adamant about sitting with (Name). “Consider it payback for helping you earlier.”

Kurapika couldn’t argue with that, so he left to sit with the two boys. “Geez, can’t you look at least a little happier to see us?”

Leorio and (Name) sat in silence for the first half of the ride. She could sense something was off with him, sneaking glances every few minutes.

“(Name)?”

She looked up. “Yes?”

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “There’s no easy way to talk about this. I’ve been trying to figure out exactly how to say this to you since the fourth phase. (Name), I…”

He reached for her hand, trying to keep his tears at bay. “I… saw the letter.”

He could almost hear her world crashing down around her. She went deadly quiet, and eyes now staring at the floor.

“Oh.”

(Name) had suspected he knew something, but didn’t think it was that. She thought she did a good job at hiding everything…

“I…”

He squeezed her hand, attempting to kill two birds with one stone by comforting them both. “I don’t think you’re selfish for your feelings, for your pain, but…”

She stiffened when she noticed tears falling from his eyes. “I don’t want you to die. So…”

He wiped at his eyes. “So hear me out, okay?”

(Name) nodded slowly, squeezing his hand back. “Okay, go on.”

“I want you to come with me.”

She looked up in surprise, eyes wide. “Go… with you?”

“Yes. You can stay at my apartment until you… are feeling better. I… I’m sorry to say this but I can’t in good conscience let you leave by yourself. You don’t have anywhere to go to, do you?”

She sighed, pulling per backpack into her lap to hug. “… no, I don’t.”

He placed a hand on her shoulder, giving her a reassuring squeeze. “Could you… give life a chance again? If not for yourself, for me, Gon, Killua… and Kurapika.”

Tears were beading at the corners of her eyes. “Do I really deserve to be so happy?”

“Of course you do!”

He pulled her closer as she cried, letting her make his shirt wet with her tears. “You deserve that and so much more, (Name). So much more.”

He shielded her breakdown from the others, giving her a five minute heads up before their stop. She wiped her tears and tidied herself up as much as possible as to not indicate she had been crying.

Leorio looked her over, grabbing her chin to keep her face steady as he touched up her mascara. “There, all better.”

She smiled at him, pulling him closer to kiss his cheek. “Thank you, Leorio. I love you.”

His cheeks turned pink before he ruffled her hair so she couldn’t see how flustered he was. “Yeah, yeah, I love you too, sunshine.”

When they excited the bus, Kurapika was waiting for her. He didn’t say anything, but the way he smiled when he saw her made her heart race. “Pika!”

She jumped off the last stair, being caught and spun around by the blonde. They both laughed, holding onto each other for a moment before letting go.

“Thanks for always being there to catch me, Pika!”

Kurapika looked at her lips for a moment, feeling his face heat up before he looked away. “You can always rely on me, (Name). I’ll catch you every time.”

They began their journey to the airport, Kurapika stopping midway.

“I’ll be in York New on September 1st.”

They paused, looking back at the blonde.

“Hisoka… Hisoka told me to meet him there then, that he’d have some information on the Spiders.”

(Name)’s eyes lit up, looking up at him. “That means…”

He nodded, cupping her cheeks. “Yes, we’ll see wa h other again.”

He swiped away her tears, laughing when she started crying. “You’re so mean, why didn’t you tell me sooner?!”

He held her as she cried, patting her back. “Sorry, sorry.”

The walked through the airport, Leorio passing (Name) her ticket. “Got you one earlier.” he whispered into her ear. She nodded, giving him a quick hug.

Kurapika was leaving first, so the group gathered at his side around 20 minutes before he’d have to leave. They exchanged numbers and goodbyes, Kurapika saving (Name) for last.

“(Name)…”

He stood awkwardly, hand on his arm. “I…”

Kurapika wasn’t expecting what happened next.

(Name) stepped forward, looking up at him with those pretty (e/c) eyes. She pulled him down by his tabard, pressing her lips against his.

She pulled away much too soon, looking away from him. “Goodbye, Pika. I’ll miss you!”

He pulled her into his arms, and she could feel his heart racing against her chest. Kurapika couldn’t speak, couldn’t do anything besides bury his face into her shoulder.

He wanted to do more. He wanted to kiss her back, to pull her in by her waist and pepper her face in kisses, but Kurapika was having trouble thinking with all the heat rushing to his face.

“(Name), we have to go.”

Leorio tapped her shoulder, the girl sighing before pulling away a bit. “Will you miss me too, Pika?”

He stared at her with half lidded eyes, face red. “Yes.”

‘Unbearably so.’

(Name) giggled, giving him one last peck on the cheek. “I’ll call you when I land, okay?”

He nodded, watching her and Leorio leave with a sigh. A sinking, unpleasant feeling settled in his chest.

Gon placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him a smile. “It’s just a few months, then you’ll see her again!”

Kurapika smiled back. “Yeah…”

But when he saw Leorio help her put her suitcase up, his hand brushing against her waist, he knew that missing her wasn’t the only reason his chest hurt.

(Name) squealed, burying her face in Leorio’s chest. “Ahh! I kissed him!”

Leorio snickered. “Yeah, I saw.”

The two boarded their airship soon after, (Name) glancing down at her phone with a giddy smile. She swiped through the pictures she’d taken of her friends. Leorio peeked over her shoulder. “Sneaky girl, hit pictures of all of us, huh?”

“Haha, sorry, but yeah. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not, why, I wouldn’t mind you taking some more!”

He posed, and (Name) giggled before taking another picture. “Wow, Leorio, you’re so photogenic!”

———————

(Name) sighed, plopping down on Leorio’s couch after the finally got home. The tall man laughed. “Tired?”

She nodded, groaning against the leather cushion. Leorio pulled her suitcase inside, setting it by his room. “Stay here, I need to get my room cleaned up.”

(Name) sat up, rubbing her eyes as he closed his bedroom door behind him.

Leorio’s apartment was small, having one bedroom and one bathroom with a washer and dryer. There was a kitchen and a living room, and that was it.

“Hmm…”

The fridge was empty, which made sense. He’d probably thrown everything out before. ‘Looks like we’ll have to go grocery shopping tomorrow…’

Leorio exited his room carrying a trash bag in one hand and a hamper in another. He winked at her before leaving to take the trash out.

When he returned, he was scrolling on his phone. He handed it over. “Here, place an order. I already got what I wanted.”

She nodded, quickly ordering her food before handing his phone back. “Thank you, Leorio. For… everything.”

The taller man plopped down on the couch next to her, allowing her to cuddle up next to him. “It’s no problem, don’t worry about it.”

They were quiet as they watched some TV, waiting for their food to arrive. Leorio wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in closer. (Name) didn’t seem to mind, humming contentedly when he ran his hand over her hair.

‘She doesn’t like being alone. And especially during a time like this, she shouldn’t be alone.’

The two ate when their food got their, Leorio happily trying her food. It was nice, getting to spend time with her. Just the two of them.

———————

(Name) was getting sleepy, and Leorio was having trouble keeping his eyes open. “Leorioooo!”

He blinked at her sleepily, watching as she yawned. “I’m tired.”

He nodded before standing up. “Alright, let’s get to bed then.”

He helped her to his room, which was now clean. He’d hidden all of his… private things. Like his porno magazines, sex toys, and dirty laundry.

She climbed into his bed, snuggling into his sheets. The tall man pulled his comforter over her form. “G’night. If you need anything, I’ll be on the couch.”

Her hand shot out to grab his wrist. “Wait, I can’t let you sleep on the couch after you took me in. I will.”

He shook his head, sitting down on the bed. “No, you need to sleep somewhere comfortable to heal properly. The couch isn’t a good place for that.”

“Then…”

She held onto his arm, looking up at him shyly. “Why don’t we just sleep in the same bed?”

He groaned, running a hand through his hair. “I’m not Kurapika, you know.”

She tilted her head at that, leaning forward to get a better look at her face. “Why does that matter?”

She gasped when he pinned her down, hovering over her form. Even if the girl wanted to move, she wouldn’t be able to, he was way stronger than her. “I’m not like him, (Name). I have urges.”

Her expression didn’t change, looking up at him with those sleepy eyes. “Leorio…”

She reached a hand up to cup his cheek, the man’s lip quivering slightly. “I know you wouldn’t hurt me. You don’t have to convince me otherwise.”

Leorio sat back, sighing as he slid off of her. “How can you read me like an open book?”

She laughed, patting the empty space next to her. “I can’t, I just know you’re too nice to ever do something like that.”

He sat down, eventually allowing himself to cuddle up with her. She was a bit clingy, wrapping her arms around him, but he didn’t mind.

Not when it was her.

“Goodnight, Leorio. Sweet dreams!”

“Sweet dreams, sunshine.”

——————

Kurapika impatiently waited for his phone to ring, tapping against the table he sat at.

Bzzt! Bzzt!

Kurapika snatched his phone up, butterflies when he saw her contact light up the screen.

“(Name)!”

He blinked when her face also popped up. “Hey Pika! Sorry for taking so long, had a rough day at work yesterday so I slept in.”

It had been nearly four months since the two had seen each other at the Zoldyck Estate. In that time, (Name) had gotten a part time job while living with Leorio, which Kurapika still wasn’t aware of.

“I see. If you need longer to sleep, we can always call l-“

“No, I’m fine! Please, stay.”

The two stayed in touch through the months, calling and FaceTiming everyday.

“I can stay while you sleep, if that would help.”

She pouted, the blonde unable to hold back a laugh at her cute face. “Pika…”

It wasn’t unusual for them to fall asleep on call, in fact it was more unusual for them to end their nightly call before they fell asleep. It annoyed Leorio, who slept next to her, just a little, but if it helped them both sleep peacefully he couldn’t complain.

There had been multiple times Kurapika had awoken from a nightmare, waking up (Name) with his screams. She would calm him down with breathing exercises before humming lullabies to help him get back to sleep.

“Sorry, sorry. Are you almost packed up?”

She groaned, Kurapika watching as she carried her phone into the bathroom, propping up the camera near the sink so she could talk to him as she washed her face.

“Yeah, pretty much. Now all I’ve got left to do is… move to York New.”

She splashed water in her face then began rubbing her cleanser into her skin. Kurapika hummed, leaning back against his chair. “You live in the same area as Leorio, right? Will he be coming with you?”

(Name) shook her head. “No, I couldn’t ask him for that. He’s busy with school, so I’ll be moving in alone.”

Kurapika was quiet for a moment, but she was quick to continue. “Oh, but Ponzu and Pokkle will be visiting me, so I won’t be alone for long!”

He forgot that (Name) and the couple were closer than he thought. She had kept contact with the two as well, occasionally meeting up to chat and catch up.

“That’s nice, it’s been a few weeks since you’ve last seen them, correct?”

“Yeah, Pokkle’s been pretty busy lately, and Ponzu usually follows him around.”

The two continued to chat, until (Name) gasped. “Oh yeah! Did I tell you I was going to whale island next month to visit Gon and Killua? They have a few things to take care of, then we’ll be meeting on the boat there.”

Kurapika blinked. “Really? That’s… nice.”

He had to try his best to hide his jealousy. After all, it wasn’t her fault the two of them hadn’t been able to meet up. (Name) was more than willing to see him, he was the one that was too busy.

After an hour or so, (Name) sighed. “I have to let you go, Pika, I’ve got some errands to run before I leave tonight.”

He huffed, causing the (h/c) haired girl to giggle. “Sorry, I’ll call you back later, okay?”

He nodded. “Goodbye, (Name).”

“Bye, Pika!”

———————

(Name) groaned, setting her suitcase down before plopping down onto her couch. She’d just moved in, with not much to show for it.

‘This is just temporary. No need to decorate or get any new furniture, I just need somewhere to live while I save up for a house.’

She sat up and started to unpack her measly belongings.

‘I really meant it when I said I would get us a house where we could all live together.’ (Name) thought as she looked over the framed picture of her and her friends.

She glanced at the calendar, smiling.

‘Only three months until I see you again, Pika.’

[flowerflowerflo]

bee's record player: march edition. 🎀𓂃 ࣪˖

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 !! notice !! ♡

surpriseee <3 wanted to try and add a little of my personal influence to my girlblog since music is literally my entire life & thought it might be funny to show u all what makes up the chaotic glittery mess that is my brain (and because there are almost 1000 of you beautiful people following me whatt?? thank you😭). i've allllways wanted to do smth like this too so, here u go !! 🩷💗

(+ this is a way for me to rant about my interests without being annoying to my friends / moots 😭. to anybody who has listened to me rant or cry or scream or whatever over music ily guys mwa)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 NEW ARRIVALS

goddess, laufey

♡ released march 6th, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 4 minutes 28 seconds

eternal sunshine, ariana grande

♡ released march 8th, 2024

♡ full album / LP

♡ best songs: supernatural, the boy is mine, we can't be friends (wait for your love), intro (end of the world)

♡ running time: 35 minutes 33 seconds

unheard, hozier

♡ released march 22nd, 2024

♡ extended play / EP

♡ best songs: too sweet (i adore this song.)

♡ running time: 13 minutes 59 seconds

super real me, illit

♡ released march 25th, 2024

♡ extended play / EP, debut! ♡

♡ best songs: magnetic, midnight fiction

♡ running time: 9 minutes 36 seconds

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 BEE'S TRACKS: TOP 10

♡ 10. my world, illit

girly girl song!! i've been obsessed with illit's whole super real me album, their debut is soo good oh my gosh. its criminally short but i seem to have listened to it a lot !! 😭

♡ 9. we can't be friends (wait for your love), ariana grande

i have SO MUCH to say about this song but it resonates with me so much in so many different ways and i just. oh my god. ariana i love u so much

♡ 8. we got so much, le sserafim

k so i initially didn't really like this song but... it's grown on me. a lot. since it first came out. um. it's pretty simple honestly and it's just really girly girl it makes me feel like a school girl i love it

♡ 7. this is what makes us girls, lana del rey

girlblogger anthem!! okay confession i did not get into this song until LAST MONTH. i know. it's terrible and i am ashamed i am so sorry. but i have formed such a strong emotional attachment to this song its crazy i adore it

♡ 6. imperfect for you, ariana grande

exposing myself pt.3 i was in a really big depressive slump for like one half or more of this month actually and this song helped me so much i can't 😭 i love you ari

♡ 5. the boy is mine, ariana grande

(are you noticing a pattern here yet) um another ariana grande song no lol um idk what ur talking about haha 🥰 this song is so twerkable im sorry i wasnt a fan at first but im obsessed i need to stop

♡ 4. smart, le sserafim

no words. once again wasn't a huge fan originally but oh my god im obsessed w it now. afrobeat type of songs are, will, and always be top tier and i will die on this hill. (i've been SO OBSESSED with le sserafim lately but i think thats fairly obvious here😭)

♡ 3. eternal sunshine, ariana grande

i adore this song oh my god. its become one of my favs of all time since it came out. this was on loop for HOURS when i first heard it and its such a comfort song for me. it shows her growth so beautifully and there's so much about it i just absolutely adore like i could write a whole essay on this song and still wouldnt be able to express how much i love it

♡ 2. magnetic, illit

illit was bound to pop up here again this month tbh ok so me and my bsf were listening to this on loop the entire time at school a little after it came out like we were sitting in the front row of our class and were still watching the magnetic mv under the desk on her phone. so in love with this song it makes me so happy n feel so cute i ahh <3

♡ 1. supernatural, ariana grande

SUPERNATURAL IS THE SONG EVER. first day it came out i listened to the album and this was on loop constantly for the next week or more. it's made it up to my top 10 fav songs of all time ever and i listen to A LOT of music. this song is my life<333

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ALBUMS

♡ 1. eternal sunshine, ariana grande

fairly self explanatory. i love u ari. there was soo much ari this month bc ive been a diehard ari stan since i was 8 and have never looked back. since yes and released in january i have been ecstatic about ag7 releasing in march after 4 YEARS of no ari so this was MONUMENTAL for me 😭😭 THE DROUGHT IS OVER ARIANATORS RISE 🩷🩷🩷

♡ 2. super real me, illit

so basically the day this album came out my best friend was spamming me about them and i only listened to them like 2 days after cuz she was annoying me about it and OH MY GOD. i listened to them and then proceeded to loop the whole album for the next 72 hours 💗 and for a debut as well is amazing ily illit girlies

♡ 3. with you-th, twice

so i wasn't much of a fan at first bc they just sounded really similar and bland to me but its grown on me a lot since it came out and i've been listening to it so much throughout the entirety of march. its just so oddly comforting in a way and feels like a hug in music form (+ rush and bloom are the best songs argue with the wall)

♡ 4. easy, le sserafim

self explanatory. i'm obsessed with le sserafim at the moment and this album is everything to me. ass shaking album 10/10

♡ 5. k-12, melanie martinez

i have been revisiting one of my fav albums of all time this month and its as amazing as always. this has been my favourite album of all time since it came out and i will never ever get over k12 🩷 10000/10!!!! <3

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ARTISTS

♡ TOMORROW X TOGETHER

♡ TWICE

♡ LANA DEL REY

♡ LE SSERAFIM

♡ ARIANA GRANDE

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 SPECIAL MENTIONS

♡ happy 1 year to portals by melanie martinez! oh my god this album helped me through all of 2023 and i went to see her on tour in london for my birthday last november and it was surreal. she's amazing. i adore her and this album (i have it on vinyl hehe) and love it SOO MUCH 💖

♡ expect ordinary things by ariana grande to be high high on my top 10 next month its been on loop for days now im obsessed

♡ there's going to be a LOT in next month's issue seeing as 2 of my all time favs are coming back next month, so prepare for that! so excited ahh <3 (one has already released at the time of writing this. prepare urselves.)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 EDITOR'S NOTE

this was SO FUN oh my gosh. i am 100% making this a regular thing~ lmk if it was entertaining, improvements needed, artists / albums you'd like me to keep up with etc, or just general comments, ideas, reviews and so on. thank you so much for reading, this was so fun! look forward to next month 💗🫶💖

lots of love 💘

[polaroidbills]

something great.

"i want you here with me. like how i pictured it. so i don't have to keep imagining."

genre! - angsty, fluff too, mega slice of life

paring! -non-idol!beomgyu x fem!reader

synopsis! - these days, love is always glorified in movies and books. but it's not always like that. sometimes it can be amazing and instant. other times, love can be damaging and complicated. but is it ever too much to ask for something great? - inspired by something great by one direction -

warnings! - not proof read, kiss (kinda), teeny tiny swearing (lmk if i missed anything)

word count! - 1 572

author's note! - first little imagine after my hiatus!! this is literally me rn (minus the dream part). he literally has a bird too and he doesn't play basketball but hockey. anyway hope you enjoyed!

i've always been into romantic-comedies. whether it's books, movies, or shows. they're my favourite. they allow me to get away from reality and slip into my imaginary world. a world so great, filled with love and joy. it's like an over powered hide and seek spot.

but sometimes i get fooled. sometimes the love shown through these films and novels aren't real. love in reality is never how they are in the movies.

boys don't fly across the world to see you. boys don't put on a musical performance as a way to apologize. boys don't join the drama club just because you did.

i just wished he did.

choi beomgyu is his name. he's been my crush since kindergarten. i'm im grade 8 now. soon i'll be graduating into high school. he doesn't know. he's never known. and i don't plan on letting him know. how could i?

he charming, funny, caring, and so much more. the way he rakes his hands through his hair, the way his laugh is contagious to everyone around him, the way he can always lighten up the mood, the way he isn't only socially successful but academically successful, and the way just his presence is comforting.

my feelings for him never leave. even if i try my best to force them out, even if he's dating someone else, even if we go on summer break. they never leave.

it's now friday, 10 days before graduation. i sit myself next to him because my teacher changed the seating arrangement.

"hey y/n!" his cheerful voices rings through my ears.

"morning beomgyu!" i respond.

"did you do the math homework?"

"i did yeah. you?"

"uh nope," he scratches his head.

we often have these small conversations. just short and casual. just a hi and hello. usually it would end here. i guess not this time.

"haha do you need help with it?" i ask.

"actually yeah. i don't really get it," an embarrassed look plays on his face.

"you know, i could help. i don't really mind."

"really? you would do that?"

"of course, i have nothing else to do anyway."

"okay sure! how about after school? i have to carpool with soobin and yunjin though, if that's okay with you?"

soobin, beomgyu, yunjin, and more of my classmates live on the same street. so they often carpool together.

yunjin is one of my best friends. she's one of the only one's that know about my crush. but ut weirds her out because she has like a sibling relationship with beomgyu.

"sure let me just text my parents!"

"great!"

and just like that i have plans. plans with him. i know it's just studying, but it's something? i mean, i can barely look him in the eye, let alone help him with math.

the school day goes by in a blur. i can't get my mind off of what's happening after school.

its 3:15, 15 minutes before school ends. i go to the bathroom to freshen up a little, bringing my emergency bag. in which holds a hair brush, mascara, blush, bronzer, highlighter, and a lip gloss.

i go back into class, as everyone starts packing their backpacks, getting ready to leave. i too get ready to leave.

3:27, 3 minutes until the bell. we're already lined up waiting.

"hey y/n!" soobin call my name. i walk over to them.

"you're coming with us?" soobin asks.

"yeah, is that okay?"

"for sure we have an extra seat anyway."

"okay cool," i smile.

the bell rings and we walk out into the parking lot.

"hey mom! um y/n is riding with us, is that okay?" soobin asks his mother.

"of course! come on in sweetie!"

beomgyu gets in first onto the far left seat.

"sorry y/n, you're in the middle," beomgyu says, as they already have assigned seats.

"thats fine," i climb into the middle and soobin gets in too, closing the door.

the drive is quiet, with only the low radio playing. but uts a short drive.

i've never been this close to beomgyu. it's quite awkward but also comfortable in a way.

the car halts and we climb out of the car, walking over to beomgyu's house.

"i'm home!" he unlocks the door. and his mom hurries to the door.

"hi y/n! come in, come in," his mom smiles.

as we walk in, i notice the lovely furniture and layout of the home.

"you have a very nice home mrs. choi!"

"thank you! but please call me diana."

"okay mom stop mingling, let's go upstairs," beomgyu interrupts. and we make our way up.

i notice all of the family and chcildhood photos on the walls and tables. cute.

"no funny business!"

beomgyu rolls his eyes and shuts his bedroom door.

"okay so where should we start?" i ask.

"well i couldn't really understand question 1?"

"okay we'll start there," we set down our books on the foors and start studying.

a couple hours later, dinner is called. we walk downstairs to a neatly setted table and the smell of delicious food.

i sit next to beomgyu and diana serves the food.

"thank you! this looks delicious."

"of course! cooked a special dinner for a special day!"

"mom!" beomgyu makes a weird look to his mom.

"oops- anyway, y/n what wer eyou guys studying up there?"

"oh beomgyu needed help on some math."

the dinner goes by really well. i feel like diana and i have a connection, as we were talking the whole time.

we go back upstairs to continue our work.

"hey don't you have a bird?" i ask him.

"yeah, his name is toto."

"can i see him?"

"sure but be careful, he isn't good around new people."

we go into the birds room and there's toto in his cage.

beomgyu slowly takes him out.

"here put your finger out, like this," he demonstrates the movement. and i follow. "toto up!"

toto moves onto my hand carefully.

"woah! toto's never good around new people! he must like you! toto kiss," he point to my cheek as toto places his beak on it.

it's a fun moment. laughter and smiles. this is why i like him.

he puts toto back into his cage and we go to his room.

"hey i'm tired of studying can't we stop now?" beomgyu says after a few more minutes of studying.

"yeah sure what do you wanna do?"

"hmm i don't know? we haven't really talked all lot, i wanna get to know you more."

"oh well what do you wanna know?"

"do you have any hobbies?"

"yeah, i love reading and watching movies and shows i guess?"

"oh cool what kind?"

"mainly rom-coms. what are your hobbies?"

"well i play basketball for one. i also really love music and playjng the guitar."

"oh cool i love music too! who's your favourite artist?"

"i love taylor swift and seventeen."

"me too!"

silence falls between us, but it's not awkward. i make eye contact with him – something i never do. the tension between us is strong and the space between us is small. i can slightly feel his breath on my skin. his eyes travel to my lips and back to my eyes, and the same thing goes for mine. his moves in closer, now the space is really small. i can definitely feel his breath on me. he moves in even closer.

"y/n?"

"yeah?"

"i really really like you, for soo long. i like you y/n."

"y/n! y/n! y/n! wake up! you're gonna be late for school!"

i awaken by the sound and nudging of my brother.

"what?"

"you're gonna be late come on!"

of course it was just a dream. it always is. just my stupid imagination and mind. he would never like me. his way out of my league. why would he even like me? there's so many other girls too.

my mind is occupied with these negative thoughts, untily brother yells once again.

i shake my head to brush the thoughts away and quickly get ready for school, walking straight out the door.

the whole walk to school my head is filled with these thoughts and reminders.

love isn't real. it never was. i was just to delusional and blind to know it. true love is just in the movies and books. those scenarios never exist in real life, only in fictional films and novels, of course. no matter how much i imagine and hope and dream, nothing will change. it's just something i ask and beg for.

but is it ever too much to want someone with me, like in the books and movies, like how i picture a true love is?

when will i be able to stop imagining?

why do i still have to keep imagining?

is it too much to ask for something great?

@1-800-143 please DO NOT copy, plagiarize, or repost any of my work.

[likeysoob]

I’m so blind by likeysoob

Episode 1

“You ever thought high school would be easy?” My mom looked up from her phone to answer me. “Oh no sweetheart. I always thought it was going to be hard.” At least I’m tying to look for some hope before high school starts. I look down at the table just being lost in my thoughts until my mom puts a plate of food in front of my face. “Thanks mom.” I said then begun to eat.

When I finished with my food, I went upstairs to lay in my bed. My eyes started to burn but I didn’t really feel sleepy. As the time rolls around 9pm, i decided to go on my laptop and watch some videos. I really dont have friends. They all left me for some reason. I guess i was boring? They were bad friends anyways. I have online friends but I dont want to talk to them right now.

My cat just lays on the floor by my feet. 2 hours pass by and i start to feel tired. I get up and change into my pjs then lay in my bed. My eyes slowly began to fall as i feel my cat snuggle by my feet. I hope that tomorrow will be a good first day of high school.

Well, i woke up not good. My body hurts and i really dont know why. My mom was yelling at me saying i was late and now…“ I CANT BELIEVE YOU SLEPT THROUGH 3 OF YOUR ALARMS Y/N!” Yeah…she still is. I didn’t say nothing back and just let her continue. Soon, we were close the school and she was talking about basic high school stuff. Once we’re here, i unbuckle my seat belt and open the door to leave. “Oh and! No talking to boys! No boys!” I turn around towards her and smirk, “wasn’t planning on to mom!” I watch her drive off and smile to myself. “That’s because i like girls…”

When i reached the main doors, i took a look around. “Why is this school so big?” “I know right!?” I jump back in fear. I turn my full view onto the person next to me. Holy shit. Who sneaks up on someone like that? “Oh sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!” The random girl apologized. I dont give 2 shits though. “Um yeah…it’s whatever.” I say, the girl smiles at me, man she’s pretty. “I’m Ning Yi Zhuo but just call me Ning!” She takes out her hand for me to shake and i do. “This is my 2nd year here and I’m still not use to how big it is…are you new here?” Ning asks me. “Um yeah actually, i just got here and yes, i do know where my classes are.” She smiles at me. “Great! I’ll see you around! The bell is about to ring!” Ning runs off. I actually don’t know where my classes are, i just don’t want to talk to people right now. I walk inside the school doors and turn the corner to see some boys already fighting. “Man it’s too early for this shit..”

After running around this whole school, i bump into someone who was clearly right in front of me…why am i so blind? I should really get glasses. I look up and see this girl with short hair. Damn, shes cute, why are there so many cute girls here?! “Oh im so sorry!” She said and i shake my head, “no it’s my fault, I wasn’t watching where i was going!” God this is embarrassing. “It’s fine!” She says, we stand there in silence. “Uh, sorry i got to go!” I ran out of that situation the fastest i can. Where the fuck can I find this class?

I soon found the class. Should i go in? Class ends in 10 minutes. As I’m deciding, the door swings open and a student walks by me. I look inside and the teacher is staring at me. “Sorry I’m…late?” You know, it really looks like i was skipping from the teachers point of view. “I’m sorry, im new here? I was having trouble finding my class…” the teacher only looks at me. The fuck? Bitch speak. I give him a side eye and go sit on an empty desk, hopefully it wasn’t that persons desk that just left right now. The teacher continues on with his lesson, im not sure what class this even is. I turn to the right of me a see this girl with light pinkish hair. All she does is smile at me and looks up to the teacher.

The bell rings, i get up from my chair and grab my bag. Before i could take a step out the classroom, someone calls for me. “Hey! You!” I turn around to see that pinkish haired girl from before. “Yeah?” I respond to her, “I’m Rei, what’s your name?” Her voice is pretty, “oh um im y/n!” I say awkwardly. Omg my voice cracked, im going to die now. “Pretty name, you’re like really pretty! You like to sing or dance?” It feels so overwhelming what she just said, my name pretty? me being pretty? “Yeah i really love singing!” I itched my neck. Great i look like a fool who doesn’t know how to talk. “That’s great! Me and my friends are trying to gain members for this music competition and id like for you to join!” She says while pulling something out of her backpack to give it to me, it’s a flyer. “See you around!” She walks off. I look down at the flyer she gave me.

Wow…the girl on the flyer is really beautiful….like really. Wait, they don’t even have what day!? I guess I’m going to have to message them. I put the flyer into my backpack and go to my next class.

The rest of the day was boring. No one interesting in my classes, rude ass teachers, and nasty lunch. Didn’t expect to the lunch to be this shit when this school is so big. So now I’m in my bed just laying down waiting for my mom to come home. I think high school will be easy, like what’s even going to happen this year? My life is boring.

see all episodes | next episode ->

[elvisslut]

Grades and results|| pt.2

Warnings-death of a loved one, depression, crying, mentions of neglecting father, Elvis being a dick (he gets better later)

A/n: this is a shorter chapter just to get us started in the angst but i hope you like it

You never would have figured the day of your first f would lead to so much more. So much..chaos.

Your meeting with mr.Presley did not go smoothly he yelled at you multiple times as you begged for a redo. Telling you 'no ya learn from your damn mistakes: You ended up leaving the room tears flowing down your face.

Once you got home everything..everything. Fell apart. You're mother was on the living room floor. So pale and lonely... "mama?..mama!" You rush to her side and try to pull her to your arms her weight too heavy for you. Getting up and going to the phone calling 911 spitting out your address and your emergency. In no time they were there so were the police seeing as most of the police officers knew you and your mother. Tears streamed down your sweet face police comforting you as your mother is sent away in a ambulance that they didn't allow you in.

You still had school tomorrow..how were you going to live..how were you supposed to do anything.your mama was your best friend. Stripped straight from you. The police soon had to leave. Leaving you alone with a empty memory haunted house. You couldn't even cry anymore the pain was just..so much. Getting off your porch step you go back inside and look down to where your mama laid. Stepping past it you sit back on the couch and look at the wall.

Sleep didn't come to you that night. All you did was look at everything till you had to leave for school. Not even remembering to grab your bag, not paying attention to where you were even going. It was like you were a robot, a robot with eye bags red eyes a red nose and pouty lips.

Ignoring all hi's in the halls on your way to mr. Presleys class. You were late. Opening the door you see everyone in there, the bell just then ringing. Everyone looks to you and frown's watching as you go to your seat. Youre late" mr. Presley says. "Sorry" you mumble looking down at your desk.

Davis scoots his desk closer to you and give mr.presley a look making him stop what he was doing and cross his arms. "I heard..my dad..he..he said you..im sorry y/n.» he says trying to find a way to word it. You look over and look him in the eye. Oh that look. That look was pure hurt and mourning. "Mr.Cross." Mr.Presley bellows. "will you wait a fucking minute!?" He shouts. "Office. Now. Get your ass there. Ms.l/n. care to explain why ya were distracted the class" he grumbles.

"No" you short earning a huff. "Yall go out to the commons let me have a word with ms.l/n here." Everyone shuffles out at his word you just keep your head down. "Now why the hell did ya interrupt my class so damn much? Is it the f? I told ya god dammit ya learn from your god damn mistakes i ought to call your mama and tell 'er" that broke you tears streaming down your face immediately so much worse then him yelling at you yesterday.

"God damn its just a bad grade.” He huffs. "My-my mama..s-she…she..died…she died last night..i-uh. found her..when I got home.. from school..i-im sorry for i-interrupting but i-..l can't..i cant be-be normal for everyone. not for- for a while." you say through struggling breaths. *Y/n. oh lord..i must seem like the world's biggest ass." he leans down by your side and shows you for the first time His soft side. *M sorry darlin' I know how it feels to lose your mama.i lost mine when i was in the army.i can't imagine how ya must feel havin' to find her. he says with such a soft tone you could melt. "You did? Im sorry." he chuckles and reaches back to his desk grabbing a tissue bringing it up to your cheek and wiping the tears.

"Why are ya here doll..ya should be home with your daddy." he grabs your hand and gives you a soft smile. “My daddy left when i was 10..i don't have a relationship with him." Elvis' lips part realizing that meant you was all alone. You look too innocent to be touched by this world now your stripped straight from the innocence of it all. Elvis just wanted to hold you and protect you. knowing the pain of losing a mother he knows his earlier actions didn't help. “Plus..i gotta keep perfect attendance.get that award at the end of the year..that my mama always hung on the fridge" you chuckle a bit and sniffle. “‘M so sorry for how I treated ya yesterday an' today..I know it probably aint helpin' ya...” his words were sincere but you didn't care you just needed someone close.

You looked at him and fell to him hugging him. He stays still for a moment before wrapping his arm around your waist and laying his hand on your head. “Ya need to go home..take some time to yourself honey." he speaks softly in your ear. "My home is in a morgue." You bluntly tell him. He understands. He really does. "I cant go back to that house. you add nothing would hurt worse then going to your house.

"Doll..ya can't..ya gotta stay somewhere" he pulls back and pushes some hair behind your ear. "Im 18 mr. Presley. it's difficult to stay with friends or go anywhere i cant work because of school..im stuck" he sighs and shakes his head. "No.i got a ranch.ya can stay there i don' stay there i stay at my other house. ill..ill come by and get ya for school every day and make sure ya got what ya need okay?" Damn this man had two houses? You think for a second and frown. "I-..I don't want to intrude..or be a issue..im okay i can figure it out mr. Presley" he shakes his head and gives you a smile.

"I insist. ‘Ieast stay till ya figure somethin' else out" he says, you sigh..you really didn't have much choice. "Okay." you mumble. "Ill take ya there after school okay?" You nod and let go of him. "Thank you. you say sadness coating your tone. He hums and gets up. ‘m goin' to get them wolly boogers ill be right back"

The rest of the day elvis cut you slack so did the other teachers the news spreading so fast around the school it was like wildfire.

Once school was over you headed to mr.Presleys room seeing him with his sunglasses again as he signed papers. His attention goes up to you giving you a warm smile that made butterflies in your stomach. "Ready honey?" He asks, you nod and go to his desk. "need any help?" your voice is quiet and hash from all the crying. "nah honey thank ya. tell me where your house is so i can go in and get ya some clothes" he wasnt even going to make you go into that horrifying house? "uh.its the first house on bearver avanue" you answer starting to walk with him towards most definitely his car.

He goes onto pass a black stutz but grabs the handle of the passanger seat nodding for you to get in. He owns a stutz too? God his pockets must be loaded. You genuinely chuckle a bit at the thought as he rounded the car. You look over to him as he gets in. *thank you again mr.presley" you say with a soft sad smile. "no problem honey..an' please we're outta school its elvis. he starts the car and heads to your house. Its quite quiet on the way there just each others breathing.

"what do ya need?” he asks opening his door. "uh. you really do-“ “what do ya need?” he cuts you off. "uh. just anything is good. m-my room is the last past the kitchen. Thank you.” you bite down on your lip trying not to cry again. He nods and goes into your house, he opened your closet to see all the cute doll outfits you had.. God those would look so good on you. His thoughts ran wild before he shook his head and grabbed underwear and bras for you holding all the stuff in his arms as he headed back outside.

He opened the truck and laid everything back there, getting back in and smiling at you. "Ill give ya a tour when we get to the ranch.” He says, you nod softly and look to the road as he starts to drive again. There was a moment in the drive you ended up falling asleep and once at the ranch elvis didn't know what to do. So much for the tour but You probably needed it. He knows he didn't sleep when he lost his mother you probably didn't either so he just got you out of the car and took you inside to the main bed, covering you up and getting your clothes out of the car and put up.

He decided to stay for a second to make sure you didn't wake up and need anything but he ended up sleeping as he watched the tv.

It was around three in the morning when you woke up frowning at the unknown room slowly stepping your feet down and searching the hall the kitchen then the living room frowning as you see Elvis. "Uh…mr.presley?" you hum in your sweet voice. Rounding the couch and seeing he was asleep. That position he was in was probably uncomfortable. "Elvis..” you say softly ,shaking him. He hums and blinks his eyes open. "oh..hey kid.” he grumbles in a tired voice. "go lay down In a bed.” you say, elvis shakes his head and sits up.

"no...no i gotta get home..damn its 3?” he checks his watch and stands. "ill see ya in the mornin" you did not want to be alone but you knew he probably didn't want to be here right now.

"Bye elvis." you say bringing your legs up on the couch and hugging them to you watching the tv station that was on of course it was past midnight so it was just replaying the news. With a sigh you lean over and turn the tv off with the remote.

Tags- @elvisalltheway101 @emma181873 @elvispresleygf

[zenitsumybe1oved]

Plus boy!Kagamine Len x VOCALOID F!reader

SMUT!!!!

!!MINORS DNI!!

SORRY FOR BAD ENGLISH

protected sex, vaginal sex, reader goes by she/her pronouns (be free to make it in another gender), reader is wearing a lingerie ig

You liked him and you knew he liked you back.

One day you came up to him, after class ended: “Hey, u want to go to my place and study maybe?” you asked. He just stared at you, so you said “Ok, nevermind..” “I WOULD LOVE TO!” he screamed.Everyone turned around to look at him, and rolled their eyes and turned back around, “Okie, heres my address and be there at 4” “Okay, ill be there”

AFTER SCHOOL, 3:23

Youre going home peacefully, listening to music, when you got home, you took a shower and put on a oversized white tshirt and panties.Suddenly, you heard that someone ringed the bell, so you came to the door to see Len standing there. “Heyyyy, come on in” you said invitingly.

He came in and looked around “Your house is nice” he said smilling, “Thank you, so lets go to my room then”.

“Sit anywhere you like, but for me the best studying place is a bed” you sat on the bed, then layed down.

“So do you need help with anything? Or do you understand everything?”

“Well, i could use your help in history” you giggled

AFTER 3 HOURS

“Yknow Len, i have something important to tell you…”

LENS POV:

*in mind* OMG IS IT HAPPENING?, ok Len, stay calm, dont get too excited

“Hm?”

“Well, i like you for a long time, and i just, like you”

READERS POV:

“WHAT” he screamed

“what?, ohhhh, you dont like me ok i get it, its ok, i just had to get that off my chest”

“NONONONO I LOVE YOU” he screamed again

“IM SORRY IF I MADE IT LOOK LIKE THAT, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH”

*in mind* well, that was expected

“WAIT ARE WE DATING NOW?!” he screamed again

“Well, do you want to be my boyfriend?”

“YES, I WANT TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND” he screamed happily

1 YEA LATER

TEXT MESSAGES

You: *attachment 1 image* (pic of you in a lingerie)

Len: Ill be there in a few minutes

10 MINUTES LATER

“Wow, you got here fast” you giggled

“You know what youre doing” he said smirking

“Well come here boy” you said flirtily

he got on top of you and started kissing you passionately down youre neck and making a few marks.

you moaned as he sucked on your collarbone, he started to undress “Len you realize this is my first time right?” “M-mine too” you both look at eachother nervously

“Wear a rubber please” “of course”

he took out his 6 inch cock and put the rubber on

“Ready?” “Yes, please put it in slowly” 

he starts to slide in slowly, you both moaned, as he got his whole cock in, you stayed at that position for a few minutes “you can start moving now” he started to move very slow, causing you both to moan “Can i go faster now?” you nodded a *yes* 

Len starts to move faster, moaning very loud. You grab his shoulders and scratch his back, it sure hurts but the pain makes him feel more pleasure

“im close” he said between moans

“m-me to-o-oo” you said between breaths

“im cominggggg”

he came first and then you followed him not long after that

“that” *pant* “was” *pant* “AMAZING”

“yeah, i think you rearranged and destroyed my guts, but its worth it”

“oh my god, did i hurt you” he said worried

“nono, dont worry” you grabbed his face and kissed him on the lips

he smiled

“you look so cute when you smile” you said smiling

he turned red and buried his face in your chest

you laughed

[saltv2]

So last year I was sitting in English class reading fan fiction (as I do) and I notice the teacher rush over to the classroom phone (all of our classrooms have those like wall hang phones from the 90s) I ignore it at first because he always goes to the phone to call an admin or something because there are like 8 unfunny class clowns in my English class and they are constantly getting pulled out of class for being little shits, then Like 12 seconds later the vice principal, school nurse, and two security guards rush into the room and go over to other side of the room and tell everyone else to leave I decide to look over there and A GIRL WAS PASSED OUT ON THE FUCKING FLOOR skipping over me accidentally going into the detention room and being stuck there for about 10 minutes I go back to the classroom about after 4 minutes of being in the right room, then when I was going to the bus two guys and two cops get into a huge fight and one of the cops had to go to the ER

It turns out that the two guys that got into the altercation had sold fentenal laced weed gummys and that the girl that had passed out had actually OVER DOSED and had actually DIED but had been resuscitated (fun fact im friends with her now) and that she wasn't the only kid who od'ed but she was one of SEVEN

My middle school was wild man

Okay what the actual hell.

It was only recently here in my country that they found out that there were drugs being passed around between kids, 5 of them were girls. So isn’t that fun?

Also the fact that this happened in middle school reminds me of the time an ex friend of mine recieved a love letter that had a tissue coated in blood, turns out the kid who had sent that letter had cut themselves for my friend and was unhealthily in love.

Anyway to the thing i wanted to actually share:

In the first semester in highschool a huge fight broke out in the halls, unfortunately it was too late for me to see it but the next day, 3 girls were expelled, why? Because they had stabbed each other with pencils/scissors.

They said that a girl was probably lured into the bathroom where she was then stabbed, no, no one died.

[whitemonsterenjoyer]

Stupid stupid rant about my friend

TLDR: Friends are disappointing! I should just isolate myself and focus on ⭐ving instead!!!

honestly kind of fucking hate my friend right now. he gets pissed off over the smallest fucking shif and he never fucking says anything. he like hates communication. its gotten to a point where i dont want to play games with him and our other friends because he just gets annoyed and yells at us. i always feel like im doing something wrong! im so uncomfortable all the time! and then they get confused and upset when i dont feel like playing again. buddy, how can i fucking enjoy anything when youre making me feel uncomfortable at best the whole time????

he reminds me of my ex so much its awful. i cant stand him sometimes. if you dont respond the right way or at all hes say some shit like "i should just die" or "you guys hate me" and i just! hate it! and he refuses to communicate ANYTHING. hed rather give you the silent treatment IN THE FUCKING VOICE CHAT. you ask him a question qnd youll have to keep repeating it for like ten minutes before hell answer because he got mildly upset. he got snippy with us because we didnt have the game open the moment he joined the call. he got fucking mad at us for mentioning school while were on break. like???? im fucking sorry that we briefly mentioned something thats been a part of our daily lives for the last like 12 years? and we barely even actually talked about school. i just got upset that ill have to sit with the annoying kids in my first period, and our other friend said that her voicemail was full of colleges doing college shit. not only that, its just really fucking dumb that hes upset over talking about school during break. its literally fucking ending, you cant not think about it. and does he think that hes the only one stressed over school?? one friend doesnt even have freetime during the week a majority of the time because shes doing so much school shit. i almost committed in freshman year! and even now, i need hours after school every day to decompress because im so fucking overstimulated and overwhelmed all day! and the third other person is taking FIVE AP CLASSES. their ass is swamped with work too!!! meanwhile, he can get home and have the time and energy to draw and play video games and record and edit videos all in the same day. if snything he doesn't get to say anything about not wanting to think about school while relaxing bc hes the most relaxed!

i asked him why he didnt tell us smtg would upsst him before we did it and he just responded with "i assumed you guys were cool." ok.

i mentioned that i had stolen sone of my parents alc while i was doing online school. yknow that period of time where i was struggling with dissociation and thoughts of committing? and nobody was fucking talking to me? he said that made me a bad person.

our friend has a girlfriend and naturally they spend a lot of time together. he gets upset seeing that theyre playing the same game or knowing that theyre hanging out without us. i dobt mind, i just wished shed let us know that she had plans rather than leaving out of nowhere. but he genuinely like despises her for spending time with her significant other.

ive stopped making plans with him because he kept flaking. he was always so indecisive and he would cancel plans the night before so often. sometimes even the MORNING OF. he would want to save money even if he wouldve spent a total of 10 dollars, or hed be too tired bc he refused to stop playing games the night before. i always go to bed earlier if im doing something the next day. i dont know why im not worth the same energy. honestly im not sure he actually likes hanging out with me, im just the only one willing to do the same things as him. the only plans that worked out were things he was absolutely going to do regardless of anyone going with him.

i dont wven know how to breach the subject with him because, again, hes so much like my ex. i know that if i make him feel bad, hell either get defensive or just freak out and cry about it. i listened to my ex say id be better off if he was gone in response to me venting way too many times to want to express my feelings about people ever again.

and it really sucks bc other times hes really nice and fun to be around. i just wonder if he dies actually like me at all. i feel like he sees me as less than sometimes.

idk i stopped being mad and got sad.

but i mean hes implied it before. he wants more friends to play cod and fortnite with and go to the park at night with. he never asks me to do thise things. im willing to play fortnite. i want to play cod. i want to do literally anything at night especially go to the park. he especially wanted more guy friends to do things with.

hed be happier being friends with the kids at school who hate me

idk. this is dumb. its 3am.