#and now its like. oh static! time for exposition

[neonscandal]

Thanks for answering my ask from a few weeks ago @neonscandal ..... If you don't mind me asking (again), what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before....

Thank you for asking in the first place! ❤️

Not at all unique is the fact that, as soon as I get asked a question about my top faves, I immediately draw a blank on everything I've ever enjoyed or watched, ever. 😅 I'm sure that's not the first time you've heard that. No need to apologize, as you can probably tell from other asks, my answers change regularly. This is my anime/manga blog so without any regard for order:

Life Lessons with Uramichii-Oniisan (anime) - depending on how old you are, there's a cognitive dissonance that occurs when you're no longer younger than nor the same age as your favorite protagonists in the stories you grew up with. This is the anime that eases the blow of that like the ibuprofen you now keep at home, at work and in your purse. And it's hysterical.

Attack on Titan (anime/manga) - There is something to be said for the eloquence of the exposition in this story which, when you know Isayama spent years shopping his art around to no avail because of the roughness of his style, makes perfect sense. While refining his art, he had all this time to pore over the story, hide little easter eggs so there'd be one string that gathered up all seeming loose ends. Just an incredibly interesting story to unfold. It's the kind of thing you wish you could read again for the first time but that's laughable because, every time you read it, you notice something you hadn't the last time.

To Your Eternity (anime) - This is the Grey's Anatomy equivalent in anime. Like, oh. You're emotionally constipated and need a good cry? Pick an episode at random. Watch a whole season if you're really about that life.

Sasaki to Miyano (manga/anime) - TBH I tied between this or Horimiya. They are not the same story but hold similar places in my heart. What I love about Sasaki to Miyano is how delicate it is. Yea, slow burn, whatever. But no, it just kind of gives Miyano space to come to terms with himself and Sasaki is the safety net that accepts him in all forms. Can love be this sweet?

Goodbye, Eri (manga) - Fujimoto is off the wall. Chainsaw Man is an excellent representation of that. Seemingly unfocused and always good for some sort of shock factor. I've been wanting to write, for some time, about how Fujimoto is like a trickster of a genie but I'll shelve that for the time being. Goodbye, Eri's disjointed narrative as if told in photographs and the art style which shows movement despite its static medium. It's a really elegant piece with a plot twist you don't see coming because, of course you don't. That, in fact, is part of the whole message of the story, isn't it?

Ranma 1/2 (anime) - Nostalgia. This was the first anime I ever watched that I locked into. It started me on a path of drawing, it encouraged me to seek out other shows.. this series is what started it all wayyy back then (okay, not that far back then, this was in the 00's). Tsundere x tsundere, yes but also just the immediate identification with characters who couldn't authentically be themselves because they kept bending and breaking under external pressures. I could very much relate and empathize even if the chaos of their universe was too fanciful for my own. Also, pretty sure Rumiko Takahashi is the longest running mangaka with consistent chapters in Shonen Jump for the last 40+ years is wild.

Vinland Saga (anime) - I honestly don't even know what to say about this story. But I think my favorite observation is a post I saw someone make where they wrote "No one will know the violence it took to become this gentle" with a picture of Thorfinn. And they were so poignantly right. Phenomenally twisted revenge story that is not at all satisfying. 10/10.

Link Clink (donghua) - This show is a vibe. If it hasn't been on a recommendation list yet, it's coming. The music, the art, the unfurling back story of the main characters as they untangle the lives of others? It manages to be both gutting and cerebral at the same time. Like every time I watch I'm like... I need to read the source material because the complexity of the concurrent storylines makes it such a head scratcher as to the larger plot.

Jujutsu Kaisen (anime/manga) - *Gestures vaguely to the rest of my blog.* We're still in the throes of how this story is going to play out which is nerve wracking and exciting for all its possibilities. I hold out a lot of hope that we'll see some stunning exposition in future chapters that we won't see coming.

Belle (anime) - It's just beautiful. 😘👌🏾 I talk a lot about my niece and nephew because I've turned them into my dorky little mini-me's. Also, being an aunt is like the best job. Belle is a movie that had them both gagged with the animation. If a show or series can get both of them to put their ipads, books, art supplies, etc. down, then I know I put them onto something special. Honestly, anything I enjoy with them makes it that much more special to me, personally.

This was lovely. I'll get back to posting lists soon, feel free to check out other recommendations!

[semper-legens]

24. Not Good For Maidens, by Tori Bovalino

Owned: No, library Page count: 358 My summary: Laura and May had their whole lives planned out. They were going to be witches, like their mothers and grandmothers before them. Then May was tempted away to the goblin market, and all hell began to break loose. Now, eighteen years later, Laura's daughter has lost her cousin to the market. She knows nothing of her family's heritage...but now, she has to brave the worst parts of it. My rating: 3/5 My commentary:

Witches and goblins and magic, oh my! When I read the blurb for this book, I decided it was most definitely in my wheelhouse. The Goblin Market, though not among my favourite poems, is still one I think of fondly. ('We must not look at goblin men/We must not buy their fruits/Who knows upon what soil they fed/Their hungry thirsty roots?') And this book is very consciously based upon that poem. The problem is that I'm not sure that the narrative bore out its promise. The ideas that were brought up on the blurb didn't go much further, and the characters were largely forgettable. It was a shame, really, because I feel like this is the kind of thing I would have been a lot more charitable towards and even enjoyed as a teenager - but alas, the adult version of me was not too impressed.

First of all, the narrative is actually two narratives - the focus is split between Lou's rescue of Neela in the present day, and May's ill-fated journey into the Market eighteen years ago. This more hampers than helps the narrative. May and Laura are pretty clear on what happened to May in the present part of the story, meaning that there isn't a lot of tension, more just learning the details of what happened. But Lou's story isn't all that better. Lou isn't a particularly proactive character - outside of insisting she goes to York with May, she doesn't really do a lot, just allowing herself to be pushed and pulled with the whims of both witches and market. It's only in the last section, where she goes back to help Eitra, that she really takes matters into her own hands. She's static thanks to the greater focus on Laura and May; Laura and May are static because their story is flashback, because it can only lead to the point at which we started. And certain things are made obvious by the framing - obviously the older goblin lady helping Lou is Eitra, there's nobody and nothing else she could be. The narrative doesn't even bother with a big reveal of that to the reader! Eitra just casually tells Lou her name, and so any sense of threat Lou could have from her is instantly negated.

And the worldbuilding here…sort of isn't? It's established that the people of York are fully in on the goblins and magic, but not a lot of time is spent among them exploring that. What is the Market, when it's being enticing? It's built up as a threat so much that, purely under the logic of the book, I struggle to understand why people actually go there. Even when May or Louisa are being drawn in, there's still lurid descriptions of market stalls selling human body parts. Do the genuine revellers…just look past that? If we saw the Market from their perspective, it'd add a lot to our understanding of it, but the narrative doesn't seem that interested in it. Furthermore, the whole 'Laura and May are on the verge of their witch graduation' thing doesn't come up until halfway through the book. Nor does the magic ice that can kill goblins. And what worldbuilding and exposition there is just seems to circle around a few key points, so I was sick of hearing about the Market and the fruits and the Doctrine and this and that over and over and over again.

I feel like I've been too negative on this book, though. The fact is that it did have some good ideas. The Goblin Market in itself is not a bad concept, and some of the manifestations of its creepiness did genuinely work. The bleakness of the lower levels Lou traverses came through quite well, even if the overworld was not shiny enough to contrast it. May was a fairly engaging character, with her struggles with sexuality and obvious attraction to women caught up with the Market and the traumas she underwent there. This book had a lot of promise, that's what I'm trying to get across. it's just that the actual narrative as-writ didn't quite live up to that promise.

Next…sigh. I've put this off long enough. Back to the House of Night.

[dirigibird]

i love peter’s villain decay. theoretically his threat level now is just as high as it was when he first appeared, but the change in how martin reacts to him now vs then is. hilarious. like

MAG108:

peter: do i scare you, martin?

martin, clearly terrified: yes!?

MAG134, barely 20 eps later:

martin, sick of peter’s shit: can you try to stay on topic for once, you big spooky bitch?

peter: >:( okay fine.

[eclipsedfates]

[VARIANT SIGNAL DECRYPTED.] [LOADING...] [VIDEO FEED DETECTED. CONNECTING...]

Static fades away into the disorganized state of what appears to be a laboratory--papers tucked and tacked onto every surface imaginable, or at least that’s what it looks like from the camera’s point of view. It’s sideways for a brief moment, until a hand reaches over to set it upright.

“Blasted thing--there we are.”

The camera then reveals a man nearing his mid-thirties. Disheveled and clearly running on fumes, he wipes his hands on his lab coat--which is just as messy as he is--and readjusts the glasses sitting askew on his face. “Testing--this BETTER be recording or so help me...”

He fusses with the recording device for a few more seconds. Finally satisfied that it was indeed recording, the scientist clears his throat, adjusts his tie, and rolls up his sleeves. He speaks, his tone clearly practiced as if he’s gone through this many times before. “Today is October 1st, 19XX. Though I’m sure from the date alone, those in the future will immediately understand what is about to transpire in just a few short moments. Nevertheless, for the sake of the scientific method--and historical purposes, of course--I’ll get the formalities and necessary context out of the way first.”

“My name is Dr. Albert W. Wily, and what you are about to witness shall be the first ever recorded instance of time travel. Yes, TRUE time travel! The stuff we’ve merely DREAMED in our wildest imaginations. No longer will mankind be bounded by the chains of history repeating--” He grabs the stand, still speaking with fervor as he moves to another room in the lab. “For several years now, I have worked tirelessly--despite setbacks and conflicting opinions from certain parties--under the gracious care of the Chronos Institute. Though I still plan to purse my career in robotics, there’s no one stopping me from killing two birds with one stone.”

He chuckles, and purposefully turns the camera away from him towards a closed door. A hand outstretches itself towards the handle. “Not that anyone could. Not when I’ve built THIS.”

When it opens, the room is dark at first--but a simple switch of the lights reveals a small hanger of sorts, littered with tools and high-end space-time measurement equipment. Situated in the middle of this seemingly chaotic workspace was a round vehicle of some kind, shaped like a large skipping stone with a glass dome over the piloting seat. “And oh, this ‘stone’ will no doubt make waves. Beautiful, no? This vehicle that you see here is what I’ve dubbed the Time Skimmer--it is, in simple terms...a time machine. And today shall be its maiden voyage into the sea of time itself!”

He sets his camera down--nearly toppling it in the process--and comes back into view again. His grin is some parts dangerous and some parts thrilled. “Well, that’s the boring exposition out of the way. Onto the REAL reason you’re watching this! I’ve set this recording to broadcast via the Time Skimmer’s temporal signal transmitter, though unfortunately I haven’t quite figured out how to receive signals back without getting interference. A small kink I’ll have to iron out later. Relatively speaking!”

He grabs a remote device from the table beside him and presses a single button--the dome clicks and flips open. Albert climbs inside of the pilot’s seat of the Time Skimmer, and within moments the engines purr to life. “Now if you’re wondering why I’m testing this myself and not programming a droid in my steed...simply put, this requires a master’s touch. If you want something done right, do it yourself. No need to worry, the math is sound! This WILL work.”

“It has to.”

Click. [DOUBLE GEAR SYSTEM ONLINE.]

“Maybe now they’ll see...they’ll ALL see...”

[TEMPORAL COORDINATES SET.]

“Yes--! YES! All systems nominal! Excellent! Magnificent! Eat your goddamn heart out, Thomas--! I was RIGHT!”

[WARNING! WARNING! INTERFERENCE DETECTED!]

“What--?! NOW?! Of all the--NO! Not this time! I will NOT have my dues taken from me AGAIN! This just has to WORK! Override Code Kairos! Disable all safety protocols--”

[BWIP!]

“Doctor! Shut off the Time Skimmer! There is no time to explain--!”

“What the--?! Who in the blazes are--”

[TEMPORAL COORDINATES LOCKED. DESTINATION--]

BOOM--!

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

Everything I Love About The Man From U.N.C.L.E (2015)

As its the 5 Year Anniversary of The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015) being released, I thought I'd compose a list of my favorite things about the film:

The Film

But seriously I actually made a really long list of things I love about it under the cut:

The opening credits

The exposition of Solo's character through Illya's debriefing

The exposition of Illya's character through Solo just calling out Everything about his past

THE CHASE

Rapid Flute Music

"He's trying. To stop. The car." "Why don't you take a shot at him?" "...Somehow, it just doesn't seem like the right thing to do."

Illya being rlly polite to the old lady whose apartment he goes through "Excuse me, dear. I just need to use your back door."

Henry Cavill In An Apron.

Solo taking his little cup off the table before Illya flips it and just looking up at him like ":)"

Gaby!!! I lov she

Ah, the classic "We Have To Pose As A Couple For Some Reason But We Develop Feelings For One Another" trope. Immaculate.

The entire Tension-Ridden conversation between Solo and Illya about women's fashion.

"It won't match." "...It doesn't. Have. To match."

The Nicknames

Cowboy.

Peril.

The whole scene where Illya's talking about the steps.

"Take it like a pussy >:)" "THIS IS NOT THE RUSSIAN WAY."

The entire scene with Tipsy Gaby and Illya

Her vibing in the bc while Illya is sulking is wonderful

The way Illya just let's Gaby lead him and take his hands bc She Is Adorable

she small.... and illya Big

(Well I'm not sure if she's short or if it's just that Armie Hammer Is Fucking Tall but that's beside the point)

"So you don't want to dance... but you want to wrestle." "I dId nOt sAY thAt-"

The a l m o s t kiss where she just fell asleep on him

Illya "I Chug Six Gallons of Respect Women Juice A Day" Kuryakin just carrying her to bed.

"...Goodnight little chop-shop girl."

And the way her pinky stays hooked around his fingers for a second... I'm soft 🥺💖🥺💖🥺

"These - are - Russian - made." "...One second." "..." "These - are - American - made. And very low tech." "...That bowtie doesn't go with that suit."

Illya's wearing a different tie in the next scene. He listened to Solo :)

"Oh... I left my invitation." *CHAOS HAPPENS* *solo pulls out his invitation and fans his face and pretends didn't start All Of That* "Whew! I wonder what they do to people without invitations :0!"

Solo just doing his sneaky thief spy thing at the party to impress Victoria

Illya Doing His Best around Gaby's Gross Uncle

The table trick!

"You put someone in the hospital." "He had soft bones."

THE ENTIRE SCENE AT THE SHIPPING PLACE I could make my own post abt that

But I wont

So

When Illya and Solo both see each other and are just like "...ok so we're doing this."

"You coming? I take top." "I'll take the bottom." AS IF I WASN'T ALREADY SHIPPING NAPOLLA CMON

*Illya almost gets them caught by taking too long with the lock* *solo does it and pulls him in* "Loving your work, Peril."

"Did you turn off alarm?" "Model 7010 doesn't have an alarm." *alarm immediately goes off* "...Loving your work, Cowboy."

The fact that Solo immediately jumps out the window after Illya because They Share The Brain Cell

(It's actually Gaby's)

Solo just being sent FLYING off the boat

("Napoleon Solo is made of GLASS.")

Him just relaxing and eating a sandwich as the Illya's entire boat scene happens in mirror reflections. Vibing.

He eventually goes and saves Illya bc That's What Partners Do

Illya checking the wiretaps he had on Solo to see if he needs help only to hear Noises of Intimacy and he and Gaby look at each other like 👀

The Tracker Scene where Illya reassures her (and it’s SOFT) and there’s some tEnSiOn before Napoleon “Cock-Block” Solo comes in like “All turned on?”

Solo realizing he got drugged and getting all comfy on a couch.

"I've been here before. Last time I fell rather badly and... hurt my head."

Illya swooping in to save Solo like a knight in shining armor.

The way he keeps a death glare on Rudi as he asks Solo if he’s doing okay. 

When Illya steps on the Shocky Zap Zap Pedal and shocks Rudi, and he sees how strong the shocks Solo endured were, and there’s a few seconds where he looks at Solo in horror when he realizes the kind of pain Solo was being subjected to before Illya arrived.

Ok that’s not one of my favorites I just really think about that one alot

Poor Napoleon :(

...Do you think he might have horrible anxiety when it comes to shocks? Even little ones from like... static or a faulty light switch or something?

We’re getting off topic

The entire bit where they’re trying to discuss what to do with Rudy, completely unaware that he’s dying behind them

The fact that Illya tells Solo he should decide what they do with him bc he was the one Rudi tortured

(...If I don’t find a post-movie hurt/comfort fic where Illya tries to help Solo process his Actual Torture From A Nazi War Criminal then I’ll make it mYSELF-)

The classy little song playing as Rudi Catches On Fire

“......Damn, I left my jacket in there.”

The split-screen transitions as the team got on Vinciguerra Island. (I also really liked these in The Factory Scene too)

Illya just THROWING A MOTORCYCLE at the dude who had Gaby.

Illya holding her and being rlly gentle 🥺

The entire jojo-esque explanation of how Solo outsmarted Victoria.

When he let's her keep their ring and they ALMOST kiss but get INTERRUPTED AGAIN-

The Almost-Final Scene where Illya goes to kill Solo and get the disc but Solo returns his watch and he decides not to. It's like... that one action is like the culmination of all the development those two had over the course of the movie and AAAAAA-

The sequel setup... v good now GIMME THE SEQUEL-

...wow typing all this just made me feel like I rewatched it. Maybe I should 👀

Anyway Happy 5th Anniversary TMFU! I'm incredibly grateful that I found out about this movie. It's quickly become a favorite!

[o-w-quinlan]

Digimon Adventure 2020, episode 18 reaction (and over-analysis)

I didn’t like this.

Character-wise, this episode was a big ball of nothing. Taichi and Yamato showcase nothing other than determination, which in a fighting story is a dime a dozen. The other 4 are basically window-dressing, and I can believe that Mimi, Jou and Koushiro would be too scared to do anything, but Sora as a character has been defined in this show by her fearlessness and her desire to do whatever it takes to protect those around her. Why isn’t she fighting too? I could believe that she saw Piyomon exhausted by her previous fights and relented, but show it to me. Don’t just have her act blatantly out-of-character to give the golden boys more screentime and expect me not to notice. Nidhoggmon had one moment where it seemed like it’d be an actual character, its hacking of Koushiro’s laptop to introduce itself being amusing and threatening, but it proceeded to show absolutely nothing of a personality after that, so that brief moment ends up looking like it just taking the reins of the exposition role from Koushiro for a few seconds. Hikari is back to her mysterious self. Takeru? The boy has said 3 lines during the past 2 episodes, all of them just “Onii-chan” with the exact same emotion behind it, and per both the ending and the fact that he glitched in this episode, it seems he’ll now be in the Digital World. Really? This is the best introduction to a character the writers could think of?

Action-wise, it’s the worst episode of the series so far. Oh sure, episode 4 had a terrible static fight, and episode 11 ended on a boring curb-stomp battle, but at least there was more going on in those. Here, it’s just Omegamon defending himself with his cape, blasting Nidhoggmon, defending himself again and slashing Nidhoggmon, killing it. I won’t compare it to the fight in episode 3 because that one had more budget, but how is it that the big climatic fight of your entire first arc, the one that properly introduces the Ultimate level to the audience, is far more boring than the ones in the previous two episodes against weaker enemies? How is it that after two episodes of teamwork being the key to defeat an impossible enemy, now it’s suddenly just the two leads on what ammounts to a 1-on-1 fight?

Plot-wise? There’s slightly more going on here, but not really enough to make me like this. The appearence of a mysterious larva entity (I assume a reincarnation of Deathmon) that’s being fed by Nidhoggmon’s energy is great, and combined with Devimon’s line of humans being food for the darkness it explains both Algomon’s and Nidhoggmon’s actions, and it may be foreshadowing the cause of the ancient conflict. Takeru’s warping to the digital world was well done, although the whole thing still fails because of what I said about Takeru before. As for Omegamon appearing again... I wasn’t one of the people who said that his appearence in episode 3 destroyed the stakes of the series, but his appearence in this one? Oh yes, it does. When what was previously portrayed as a miracle happens once again the very next time they have to face an Ultimate-level digimon, the stakes simply don’t exist anymore. Not in any believable way. And it cheapens Omegamon, because when before he was this awe-inspiring entity arriving to help them in their time of need before disappearing, now he’s just another power-up granted by the siblings. It cheapens the Ultimate-level digimon, because both times we’ve seen them now have been them getting stomped by the power-up. It’s just a terrible narrative choice that’s executed terribly.

In fact, nearly everything in this episode was a terrible idea executed terribly, only the brief appearence of the villains being actually good. Oh, and before I forget, we never got an explanation for how Yamato, Sora and Jou arrived at the fake Tokyo, and I don’t expect to get it in the future. I don’t expect much of anything from this show anymore. I refuse to get hyped for anything other than a Mimi-centric or Jou-centric episode, because those are the only characters the writers have proven they can consistently write well.

Next episode is going to introduce Leomon’s resistance army, and the non-protagonist children are going to end up back in the Human World. Both plots with lots of potential for great stuff. Let’s see what they end up doing.

[daydadahlias]

since it was requested let's pull out the big guns

things that deserve compliments:

the way no one can read the first paragraph of something you wrote and simply put it down. no one can do that. or has ever. because you make it too INTERESTING

the way you provide the RIGHT AMOUNT of exposition. not too fast into plot but not tedious or boring

characterization, especially through dialogue and gestures instead of just stating facts (my favorite in s14 was probably the cashton apartment's microwave not fully shutting on its own)

realistic dialogue. some of the most realistic, modern-without-carbon-dating-it, fluent dialogue ever

humor, which REALLY shows through in your writing. especially how different characters have different senses of humor but they're all YOU because you write all of it

the amount of passion and specificity that goes into each thing you write. reading scene 14 anyone would be able to tell that you're knowledgeable about acting and really love it

motifs, extended metaphors, little easter eggs, etc. you have your own inside jokes in your writing. that's top tier my friend

description in general, physical reactions to events/words, not going overboard with the description of characters but repeatedly mentioning/coming back to characteristics that the narrator notices. lots of nice colors

and then obviously (I've said this before) incorporating serious themes into overarchingly lighthearted stories WITHOUT BRINGING THE MOOD DOWN

anyway this is just scratching the surface

I probably should have showered you with this praise AFTer the finale but oh well you deserve it

(Sorry abt no page break; I’m on my phone omw to school)

Number one, Truck Buddy, thank you. In another ask you requested me specify if I either cried or threw my phone across the room. I did neither. I in fact read this, stared into the abyss for a moment, turned my phone off, and went to bed because I could simply no longer process being alive after having read it.

Your compliments are a little too nice and a little too good and I am convinced now that you are an AI specifically designed to know what makes me fall apart because you have been sent by the government to destroy me /j

Now this exposition thing is really nice. Especially because exposition in my writing used to be way overused. I’m not saying do it, but if you read some of my earlier stuff on ao3 under my original psued you’d be like “damn, does this have a point?? They have been talking about windows for a long time. Where is the plot??” Because haha there wasn’t one!! It was just setting description and background info!!!

Pointing out tiny gestures !!! Ahhhh!!!! I usually like—when writing scenes—for every character to have an end purpose in that scene, and they are usually moving around for that end purpose. Ie Michael getting coffee while Luke rants in chapter one, Ashton trying to close the microwave, etc etc. My biggest fear is that a scene is gonna be static so everyone is usually prancing about in one way or another.

THIS COMMENT ON DIALOGUE FUCK ME. Aaaaaaaaaa. This is when I sink into a puddle on the floor. This is such a nice compliment. This is—aaa.

I’m a decently funny person irl (doesn’t come across online I often feel) but I’ve never tried writing anything humorous until the 5sos fandom bc I’ve always been so scared I’m not gonna be funny lmao. And so whenever someone’s like “yeah that’s pretty funny” I lose my shit. It’s my favorite compliment. It makes me go nuts.

Most of my stuff is fairly researched. Not all of it, but it’s always important to me to be able to portray things in an accurate way (or as accurate as I can manage). Being able to talk about theatre acting as been,,, everything. I’m very passionate about my stuff and I’m so happy that comes across.

This Easter eggs thing???? The inside jokes in my own writing??? Is super fucking cool because I sure as hell don’t know what you’re talking about. But you thinking that has made me all sorts of smiley.

Used to go batshit when it came to descriptions. Been really trying to hold back lately. In one of the first books I read, lmao, my girl beta read it. And she pointed out how many goddamn times I stopped mid-action to describe someone in detail. One I remember in specific was when this character was LITERALLY BEING TORTURED. Like the full torture scene I’m not kidding. And she’s talking abt the guy who is torturing her and proceeds to say “I realized then he was quite handsome” and just went off abt him and my girl went “hey Jess. Maybe this is the wrong time” SO YEAH. This is nice to hear.

I am nothing without angst. I’m an angsty little bitch but I’ve been trying (especially with S14) to not make it so overpowering. Life is funny. It isn’t all dramatic revelations and secrets.

Thank you, Truck Buddy, for literally murdering me.

[botwstoriesandsuch]

I think the biggest issue that I have with Botw’s writing is that in most every memory(which are basically a part of the main story), almost always focus on Zelda instead of Link. And I wouldn’t have an issue with this if they hadn’t made the fact that Zelda was kind of a b*tch to Link in the beginning a part of her character and in turn I really just don’t like Zelda that much! [1]

(Sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for awhile)

I agree that the main problem with the writing is probably the memories. You’re right that some of the more important parts of Zelda’s character are kept in more obscure diaries, rather than in actual memories. Although, I don’t know if focusing more on Link would actually help, as despite everyone wanting Link to express more emotions, I’m pretty sure that Nintendo is gonna keep him a blank slate (but I hope I’m wrong!)

And yeah, the failure to have Zelda actually apologies to Link is a completely justified complaint, and frankly I think it’s the fault of the memories being crafted with the goal of being watched in any order, rather than a three act structure. Zelda apologizing to Link in a memory would have been confusing to those who haven’t seen the other memories which I think is a big flaw in the system. The memories are made to be self contained, meaning they can’t interact with the other memories that much which pretty much the only exception being either the Yiga Clan one of the Calamities Awakening. Other than that, the memories all tell the same information, with static rather than dynamic characters. 

My personal opinion is that the way all the memory scenes themselves are crafted just fail at being compelling? There’s barely any subtext, and they’re designed to be seen in any order, so, all the information or exposition or character they give is basically the same. (Again, we don’t necessarily see Zelda apologize, since the developers wouldn’t want the player to be confused if they saw one memory before the other) All the memories convey is either broad characterization for the Champions and the dramatic stakes of Zelda trying to unlock her powers. That’s it...and it leaves a lot to be desired. 

Sure we can headcanon all day, but at the end of it the memories were designed too stoically, and independently that they fail to actually contribute to a flowing narrative. I feel like if there were more memories, and more structure to them it might have improved, oop it’s time for hypothetical and tangents about how it could maybe be improved below the cut

I think the whole thing where you are left with a simple photographs, and having to explore and find your way to these areas it really great! It keeps the player moving and adds to the games theme of exploration. But I feel it would have been improved if there was more substance rather than an X marks the spot

Like what if for one memory, you get a picture of a forest, and a stable is in the background. So eventually you find this location, but you’re still not triggering anything. Maybe sometime later, after you finish a Divine Beast or something, you can go to the stable and find an npc, and they talk about how 100 years ago a Champion or Champions were doing something blahblahblah at a certain tree. Maybe you hear a certain detail from their dialogue that triggers something in Link And that would be when you could go to that location and trigger a memory cutscene. 

Granted, this structure is more linear and not as open ended, but I think it’s strengths outweigh its costs considering now that you can add structure to the memories, you can actually craft compelling arcs. Let’s just do Zelda for example. 

Let’s say we have the original 12 memories out in Hyrule and you can go to any of them at any time. But, as you unlock more Divine Beasts, you unlock more opportunities to find even more memory locations. So you start off with the one in Sanidin Park, or maybe the one by the Sacred Grounds, or even the Ancient Columns. From those memories you establish the starting point of Zelda and Link’s relationship. 

Then, later on you might complete a Diving Beast, and that unlocks opportunities to find other memories. Since you’ve unlocked a Divine Beast, you were more likely to have done those other memories, so now you get the chance to delv further into these characters. Maybe now you get a chance to see Zelda and Link growing on each other and bonding, you could see Zelda apologize, you could world build or see more internal struggles. I really liked that memory of Zelda watching Link under the tree and expressing her doubts. You could do more of that stuff but now you can BUILD off of other memories that the player has already seen!! Even further than Zelda and Link, you could further characterize the Champions. Have a little banter with Revali or maybe have him see Link in battle and he could grow respect for him. Or how does Mipha deal with Link being Zelda’s knight? Fuck it, have some internal conflict with all the Champions with each other, then have them grow into a found family dynamic as you unlock more and more Divine Beasts and you unlock more and more memories.

If you add structure to what memories can be unlocked, you can add structure to how scenes and characters grow because you’re not limited to having each memory be independent. 

For the love of Hylia you could add anything so long as it isn’t telling the same thing for everyone of the memories, so long as it tells something different than “Zelda is struggling with her powers,” or “This character has a crush on Link.” If you structured the memories system you could actually have compelling growth and change and eVEN STILL KEEP LINK AS A BLANK SLATE NINTENDO! All the original memories do is talk about all the amazing things the Champion’s did. Zelda talking with Link after he killed 3 Lynels. Boy, would have been cool to see that fight and learn about how competent a fighter Link was. Oh, Link and Daruk are good friends? Would have been nice to see them hanging out and establishing what good friends they are rather than just TALKING about how good of friends they are. Even in the DLC, which does have really great cutscenes and diary entries to be fair, they don’t count because that was optional and not something that everyone can experience. How great would it have been to unlock memories that shows (show not tell!) Mipha caring and healing her people, or Revali training in solitude. Then as you play further into the game, you unlock memories of Link fighting along side Mipha, or Revali teaching Link how to shoot in mid air. 

and WHAT IF NINTENDO ACTUALLY HIRED WRITERS, instead of leaving it to their game devs, TO WRITE COMPELLING CUTSCENES WITH IMPROVED DIALOGUE, GENUINE SUBTEXT, AND INTERESTING DYNAMICS

It pains me to no end that the memories in botw are just...there. It could have been so much more. I love this game and I love it’s story despite its flaws and I really hope the sequel doesn’t have linear storytelling, but my god please pLEASE hire writers nintendo.

You can agree or disagree with my proposal all you want but can we all agree that more memories wouldn’t have hurt? Right?

As you can see I have a lot of feelings on this.... :P

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Under Raps

My feelings on this episode are pretty neutral. It’s not anything amazing, but it’s not the worst thing ever either. It’s just there, I guess. 

Summary: During a love festival, Corona displays a book full of signatures of lovers in honor of an old ruler's falling in love with the leader of a rival kingdom. Cassandra suddenly turns very secretive; Rapunzel learns it's because she's been seeing a guy named Andrew. Cassandra doesn't want Rapunzel's meddling, but the princess suggests a double date and they all go off in a hot air balloon. However, Andrew turns out to be part of an old faction that didn't like the unification of Corona and wants to steal the book.

This Backstory Doesn’t Add Up

So we open up with Big Nose narrating about the history of a war between Corona and a group of people called the Saporians. This is important for two reasons. First, because the Saporians are reoccurring villains in the show, and secondly, because it reveals where the underground tunnels running between Old Corona and the Island Capital come from. These tunnels are a reoccurring plot device in the show, along with the book that maps them. 

The problem is that what the story tells us doesn’t match the other information we are given. If it was only the Saporians who invaded then why does an Old Corona, with its own castle, exist to begin with? Why do the tunnels extend from both if King Herz Der Sonne made them? What purpose did they serve if he was only defending the island? Why are the Saporians led by a general and not a ruler? Why would marrying only a general unite the two kings and where was the Saporian kingdom to begin with? Why did they invade? Why are there still Saporians who haven’t accepted the merger centuries later and why do they live on the go outside the kingdom? If  Herz Der Sonne is such a good guy then why did he curse his grave with a zombie apocalypse? Ect. 

We keep getting hints throughout the show that Herz Der Sonne isn’t all he was cracked up to be, and you keep expecting a reveal that it was the Coronaians who started the war and oppressed the Saporians and then rewrote history, but it never comes. The show wants us to accept this very black and white conflict at face value even as it constantly undermines itself and muddies the waters. 

Pointing Out That Something is Stupid in the Show Itself Doesn’t Make it Any Less Stupid

As I stated back during Rapunzel’s Enemy, the show has a real problem with tone. Constantly showing us festival and holiday after festival and holiday only undermines the more serious elements in the ongoing story and creates mood whiplash. Also anything that reminds me of Cinderella 2 is not a good thing. 

Ahh Friedborg, You’re Such a Wasted Opportunity 

So she actually first appeared in Cassandra V. Eugene but I forgot to bring her up there. My bad. Friedborg is something of a fan favorite in the TTS fandom, and I like her too, but she adds nothing. She’s a joke character in a tv show already oversaturated by joke characters. More over the joke is actually offensive on some level since it all hinges on her being less conventionally attractive then the other female characters and the mains finding her weird because she never talks. 

The show tries to justify her existence by making her Big Nose’s girlfriend, but she’s not who he ended up with in the movie. And once again it’s kind of offensive to imply that only people who don’t match society’s contrived beauty standards can only find love with those that look like them. Thereby completely missing the point of Big Nose’s character arc. 

I’ll say it right now, Friedborg should have been Zan Tiri, or Demantius. Take your pick. I think ZT makes more sense, but etheir way she should have been a setup for something more important to the plot rather then just be being a vauge oddity that just pops up from time to time. 

I Miss This Version of Eugene

Throughout the first two seasons, Eugene and Cassandra were willing to point out Rapunzel’s BS. Forcing her to confront her flaws and re-examine her positions.I would argue that the show could have pushed this even further but at least it was there. By the final season no one was doing this. Rapunzel is allowed to be as awful as she wants to be without consequence. Meaning she never learns anything and stops growing as a character and the show acts like this a positive thing. It is not. In fact, it is the biggest flaw of the whole show as it fails to achieve the one thing it originally set out to do; which is to tell a coming of age story with Rapunzel. 

It also has the added effect of making Eugene a doormat to Rapunzel’s bulling, thereby regressing his character as well and presenting an unhealthy relationship as a goal to be achieved to younger viewers. I can not stress enough to young girls and young men in particular, that Rapunzel and Eugene are not ‘relationship goals’ in this show. Not after season 3. 

Xavier Doesn’t Get a Proper Introduction 

So Xavier is actually pretty important to the ongoing plot. He’s more or less the exposition fairy for the show, but he’s not really established. He just suddenly appears here with no prior meeting and he just so happens to know what the main characters need to know with no explanation as to how he knows. 

His part here is so forgettable that I legit forgot who he was when he reappeared in the mid-season finale. I had thought that the writers just threw in a random character for plot purposes. And to be fair they did. Just they did it here instead of in Queen for a Day. 

If the showrunners wanted Xavier to be historian who knows everything and tells stories, then he should have been introduced as the narrator of the history of Hearts Day instead of Big Nose. 

Another Lesson Not Learned 

We get this big heart to heart moment of Raps and Cass coming to an understanding, with Rapunzel promising not to intrude and Cass promising to being more honest about her feelings. This is walked back on several times and made part of the core conflict of the last two seasons. 

Once again, any problem that can be solved in less then five minutes of talking isn’t a strong enough conflict to drive multiple seasons. If this had been a show without an ongoing narrative, like say The Rescue Rangers or even Batman the Animated Series, then the repeated lessons wouldn’t be a problem. We expect characters to be static and to reset after each episode since they’re not shows that you watch in order. 

But if you do go the overarching arc route for a story, then people expect lasting character development. Even in shows like Gravity Falls or Steven Universe, where the change is more gradual and the characters do repeat mistakes occasionally, there’s still a marketed change by the end. One that indicates improvement by the characters, and the inter conflicts are never exactly the same each time with exactly the same lesson over and over again. 

 Oh Look, Cassandra Once Again Achieving her Goal of Validation 

Cass is awarded a medal by her father for stopping Andrew. Don’t expect her or the show to remember this. 

Also more Cass and Cap interaction that we don’t get to see. 

Can We Not Imply That Cassandra Still has a Crush on the Guy Who Lied to Her and Then Almost Killed Her, and Can We Not Act Like This is a Good Thing?

So this flower was given to Cassandra by Andrew and her keeping it makes zero sense. 

First off lets not have one of our few strong independent female characters crushing on the show’s stereotypical ‘nice guy’, okay? That’s all kinds of gross. Secondly, if the intention was to show that Cass was now more willing to open up about her feelings, then wouldn’t her keeping one of the gifts Raps made her earlier in the episode make more sense? After all, that’s the relationship that actually matters to Cassandra and is the basis of the whole show. 

But this all boils down to the fact that the creator sees Cassandra as straight, always has, and thinks her crushing on the guy who manipulated her is somehow better than ‘no-homo’. Now you can headcanon Cass as whatever you want and ship her with whomever you want, as canon doesn’t matter. But I find it hilarious that most of the head showrunner’s biggest supporters are mainly Casspunzel fans and yet he’s the one who made them ‘sisters’ and sees them as such.

Like I hate to break it to you guys, but a Cass led spin-off headed by Chris won't be the lesbian rep that you’ve always dreamed of. You’re better off just watching the She-Ra reboot. 

But things gets even worse when Rapunzel approves of this stupid ‘crush’ ...

Don’t Ever Tell Someone That You’re Proud of Them For Going On a Date

Dating is just something some people choose to do together and some people choose not to engage in that. It’s not an accomplishment and it shouldn’t be treated as such. This is insulting to both people who don’t date, for whatever reason, and to women who hate being being defined by their relationships, which is most of us. 

Even if you’re being charitable and try to make this about Cassandra self esteem and her learning she’s worth ‘loving’, which is the reason some people have offered up for this scene, it still falls apart when it’s not established that Cassandra ever had such self esteem issues to begin with and was not looking for romance anyways. And if that is what the show is going for then it’s still problematic to suggest that being found as attractive by someone else is need for self esteem. In fact, that’s kind of the opposite of what self esteem is.    

Conclusion 

Overall this episode was ‘meh’. Like most season one episodes the problems stem from the ongoing narrative and lack of follow though in later seasons. However there’s enough stuff in here on it’s own to rub me just the wrong way that I can’t actually call it good either. 

It doesn’t help that I don’t see the appeal of Andrew at all. Watching the character is just a cringefest for me. He’s too similar to real life men I’ve unfortunately met and therefore sends alarm bells ringing in my head. And I agree with Eugene; he’s not all that handsome. 

[curioussubjects]

come be a season 12 truther, baby, with me

In honor of tonight’s Berens/Glynn episode (!!!!), I’d like to take y’all on a magical journey in which I share why I think Dean and Cas got together in season 12. 

Keep in mind that this post takes for granted that Dean and Cas are in love with each other and that their relationship has been increasingly coded as romantic with each passing season. Consequently, what this post does is point out some key moments in their relationship and argue why they don't get together before 12. I'll also go briefly over 13 and 14 for reasons I'll explain later in the post. First, though, let me go over seasons 4 through 11, with some pit stops along the way:

Seasons 4 & 5: this isn’t the destiel you are looking for. the ust is delicious, yes, and i, too, got sucked in posthaste immediately groped by an angel lj community style. At this point Cas is still too alien for anything beyond the development we see on screen happen. HOWEVER, season 5 is the first time we get to see Cas being human (The End) and Cas being less connected to heaven and how that affects his behavior. This will matter. 

Seasons 6 & 7: the pining omg the pining. The notable things I want to point out with these seasons is a. this is the beginning of Cas doing things to spare Dean and it not ending well (Cas dies #1, soulless!Sam); b. Dean is v. sad; and c. we also start noticing the emotional toll of Cas’s divided loyalties and how human he has actually become since s4. Hurty feels all around.  

Season 8: purgaytory babes aw yeah! Still lots of terrible awful pining. This is a turning point with the addition of the bunker as tfw hq: we have a home in play now, a static emotional center. Cas is still off doing his own thing, Dean still wishes Cas would just let him (+ Sam) help out. Cas going off on his own leads to disaster #2 (Angels fall, Cas loses his Grace). For all deliciously angsty get together purgatory fics and spec, there’s too much of a gap between Dean and Cas on Cas’s part due to his guilt over betraying the Winchesters in s6 & slaughtering angels & leviathan. On the other hand, we do see Dean being more emotionally open, but to no avail. Bad timing. This is a trend. [oop also worth noting we get Dean being kinda done with the one night stand thing because always with the adios and ahem also hint hint Cas refusing to stay put]

Seasons 9 & 10: aka Dean and Cas make bad decisions, but mostly Dean. The biggest turning point here is Cas being human for an extended period of time. There is still plenty of spec over the effects of being human on Cas’s Grace and his Soul. What we can say for sure, though, is that Cas is much more human once he becomes an angel again. In contrast to s8, s9 sees Cas being vulnerable and Dean pushing him away (first because of Gadreel, which he didn’t want to do really and that’s even sadder kdjfgksdfj & later because he was pushing everyone away due to the mark).  

9.06 Heaven Can’t Wait: there’s been so much amazing fic and spec about this episode with its fanfiction gap, but I can’t see a deancas get together here, folks. I know, it’s terrible. The lying from Dean and the hurt from Cas, imo, make the distance between them quite insurmountable at this point. While the episode is amazing (Bobo’s debut, too! So ♥) and has some notorious subtext throughout, I just can’t see the character bridging that gap into anything physical, much less emotional. Nevertheless, this episode does show perhaps the first intentional romantic tableaux with Dean and Cas, and that’s not nothing. 

10.16 Paint it Black: from the point Dean gets the mark of cain until the end of season 10, anything between him and Cas is quite impossible. But one of the reasons I’m bringing up this episode in particular is because of the confession scene. For one, it’s a rare bit of emotional honesty from Dean and for two, it tells me that while he and Cas may be well aware of the thing between them, it’s still uncharted waters. Makes sense, too, there’s been A LOT going on since s6.  Anyway, he’s the full confession, so we can put a pin on it:

You know, the life I live, the work I do…I pretty much just figured that that was all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later, I’d go out the same way that I live – pedal to the metal, and that would be it. [...]  Now, um… recent events, uh… make me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And…I don’t know. I mean, you know, there’s – there’s things, there’s…people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time. [...]  Yeah, I’m just starting to think that… maybe there’s more to it all than I thought.

Do you ever see a character having an epiphany and find yourself wanting to cry because this is it right here. Dean is just blatantly admitting he wants more, which all culminates in season 11, so...

Season 11: The pining is still here, but it’s worse now since it’s the whole plot? It’s been *checks calendar* 5 years of this. How are any of us still kicking I don’t know. Your slow burns could never. Cool worth noting points: Cas says yes to Luci (bad decision #2.5, lots of mitigating effects_I don’t actually hold it against him that much but Dean is another story & not entirely rational at this point); for the first time since the early days, Dean and Cas are on equal grounds: they’ve both fucked up a lot and have hurt each other. The issues this season are outside their dynamic. Amara and Lucifer here serve as externalizing forces for Dean and Cas’s problems and by the end of the season we’re getting a clean slate. We’re also getting a new showrunner, so. No wonder. What this season does that is also super important is that it sets up the stage for the possibility of an actual relationship between Dean and Cas, something that has, up until this point, been pretty much impossible. 

11.04 Baby: Y’all know what I’m about to quote here, right? The convo between Dean and Sam about having something with someone who understands the life. Here we still have Dean reverting to the idea that it’s impossible, which is a direct contrast to the openness in 10.16. It’s understandable, though, considering there’s been little reason to think anything like that would be possible (see all the mess and poor timing from seasons past). The quote in question, though, marks a continuing development in on of the things Dean is struggling with this season:

DEAN: Piper? That's awesome. Heather. One-night wonders, man. Shoot, we're lucky we still get that at all.  SAM: Really? You don't . . . Ever want something more? DEAN: I'm sorry, have you met us? We're batting a whopping zero in domestic life, man. Goose eggs. SAM: You don't ever think about something? Not marriage or whatever. But . . . Something? You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life?

Compare this exchange with what we get from 11.11 and 11.19:

11.11 Into the Mystic: I’m bringing this episode as a crossreference to 10.16 and to show again that for all the closeness between Dean and Cas there’s still a marked distance they haven’t yet bridged. Thanks Mildred for the delicious exposition:

Darlin'...If there's one thing I've learned in all my years on the road, it's when somebody's pining for somebody else. [...]  Oh, don't try and hide it now. Follow your heart. Remember?

11.19 The Chitters: Continuing our trek regarding Dean wanting certain things we have this gift of an episode with Jesse and Cesar, and this exchange:

Dean: [with realization] Oh, so … [points back and forth to Jesse and Cesar] Cesar: Yeah. Dean: Okay, that’s… Cesar puts his beer bottle on the table and looks at Dean, while Jesse is being silent. Dean: What’s it like, settling down with a hunter? Cesar: Smelly, dirty. [turns to Jesse] Twice the worrying about getting ganked.

I’d like to point out, too that the fear of getting ganked is thematic when it comes to the tension between Dean and Cas. More on this when we hit s13. 

Alright, now having said that, let’s take a look at season 12. Bear in mind, this is the official start of Dabb’s era, even if he kinda began taking over in 11, and the change in vibes is obvious. In fact, 12 jumped out at me as a turning point in retrospect, after getting smacked by the domesticity of 13 and 14. Under the cut because I can’t shut up, and things are long enough as is. 

Season 12:  Finally, the promise land, y’all. So, what s11 was for Dean in terms of setting up the relationship stage, s12 was for Cas. In its initial beats, any way. Important to keep in mind that until the Kelly debacle, this was the longest Cas has been around the bunker. Things seem remarkably chill. Of course, we’ll notice that there’s still a lot of baggage hanging around because despite Dean and Cas being in a more stable place, they haven’t actually dealt with their interpersonal problems. I didn’t single out directly this episode, but do keep in mind Cas’s declaration in 12.09 First Blood as far as how much the Winchesters matter to Cas & how we also see Dean and Cas be particularly singled out with them seating together in the backseat of the Impala. 

12.10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets: This episode, oh my god, the goodness. In the wake of 12.09 we have Dean and Cas in a tiff because Cas mistake #3 (killing Billie and “cosmic consequences”), this is a pattern. Twice the worry of getting ganked, etc etc. But where this episode really shines is through the contrast between Ishim’s obsession with Lily and Cas & Dean’s mutual affection for each other. Ishim sees no difference here and, to him, Cas’s feelings for Dean are a human weakness. Returning to my point about human!Cas, this episode underscores that Cas’s increasing humanity is what puts him in the place where he can want what Dean wants instead of either being too alien to get it (see s4 & 5) or unable to experience it properly (Ishim). 

12.12 Stuck in the Middle (With You): Cas’s trajectory culminates here with the whole I love you (@ Dean), I love all of you (@ Winchesters). Let’s note too that Cas is dying here, in a way that is much more human than going up in light. This declaration of different types of love is entirely human. It’s also a definitive step wrt to Cas and Dean’s relationship because of what happens in 12.19. This. is. it.

Offscreen happenings: Mixtape, how Cas knows the Colt is under Dean’s pillow. This is hella suspicious. 

12.19 The Future: This episode changes everything, y’all (bobo and meredith, folks, bobo and meredith ksjdhfakjshlfksd). Consider watching this episode again and pay attention to some weird things: 1. Dean’s reaction to Cas going awol. Compare it to Sam’s, who is like whoa Dean chill. Now, thought experiment, imagine something happened between Dean and Cas, and then just radio silence from Cas. Imagine how Dean would react with getting ghosted by Cas specifically after something happened between them.  2. Cas comes back to the bunker with the specific goal of stealing the Colt, which he already knew was under Dean’s pillow -- something Sam didn’t even know.  3. “He came into my room and he played me.” So, this quote right there, makes it seem like some seduction for personal gain, right? But Cas clearly knew where the Colt was already, which means something happened before  Cas came back to the bunker. Cas played Dean in seeming to have reconsidered not working with Sam and Dean wrt Kelly. This is still a point of drama, but it leads somewhere else (see s13 & s15). 4. WHEN DID DEAN GIVE CAS THAT MIXTAPE OMG 5. Dean and Cas’s brief convo in Dean’s room is clearly Dean just wanting Cas to stay, so they can work (and be) together -- because they’re better that way. Which, yeah, truth. 

Sequence of events: Cas tells Dean he loves him -- Dean is clearly shook by it -- Dean gives Cas a mixtape (romantic gesture, often a declaration of feelings; in true Dean speak too lolsobs) -- Cas somehow knows the Colt is under Dean’s pillow -- ???? -- Cas goes awol -- Dean acts like he got ghosted by his partner.

Like. Y’all realize they probably had some emotionally constipated getting together moment, right? Something that Dean clearly initially thought meant things were gonna change, now. Something that Cas couldn’t allow to happen until he could give Dean a win. Y’all are seeing this, yeah? I’m not saying they slept together and were full of feelings, except that’s kind of what I’m saying. But ymmv, there are other possibilities beyond sex. The full of feelings isn’t up for debate, though, even if the whole thing is informed by ridiculous amounts of miscommunication. 

Ok, maybe the narrative is still too subtle (?????), but as I said before, looking at 12 with the knowledge of 13 and 14 does offer a new perspective because of the difference in dynamic between Dean and Cas. I know lots of people look at 14, mainly, as having dialed back on the destiel side of things, but I always thought that was a strange take. Largely because they’re so domestic and their dynamic, ie, the lack of tension, reads like an established relationship. It’s a different kind of beast than we have been used to so far, so it does look alien on screen, especially since we “skipped” the conventional getting together cue that would let us change gears. Let’s take a look at 13 and 14, then.

Season 13: Ah, yes, the season of shit gets domestic. The pining? Gone? What? Deancas now reading like an established couple? It’s more likely than you think.

13.1-13.5: Dean’s grief mini-arc. Dude’s acting like a widower. We all know this. I want to gesture towards the reunion moment though with “it’s never too late to start all over again.” To. Start. All. Over. Again. I’m just saying. 

13.6 Tombstone: hi this episode is pure love and Dean is so happy his sweetheart is back from the dead? He’s even ok being Jack’s third dad now? What a time to be alive. Also? apparently Dean and Cas were just having movie night together? Dates? Mutual Pining dates prior to shit going to hell in 12? Do you ever cry? What else are they getting up to offscreen? What else will they get up to off screen? MUCH TO THINK ABOUT. 

Season 14: MORE DOMESTICITY. With some pining because Michael. But...heart eyes when Dean comes back? Watch that scene again with Dean going off to shower. Suspicious. But then shit hits the fan and we’re all sad again. boo. 

14.15 Peace of Mind: Look me in the eye and tell me Dean and Cas talking in the kitchen about Jack doesn’t read like husbands talking about their child. Look me in the eye and tell me Cas just texting Dean to gossip about Sam isn’t coupley asf. 

14.18-14.20: Ah, yes, the divorce arc. Awful. Terrible. The culmination of Dean’s problem in all this: he lashes out, he pushes Cas away, his anger is alienating. Cue all of us suffering. But while Dean is clearly in the wrong in how the deals with his feelings, let’s not pretend some of his anger doesn’t come from a long established issue between him and Cas, which had its last traumatic turn when Cas died in s12. Dean isn’t being rational here; he saw Cas doing something on his own, and he saw that his mother is dead. What else could happen? Why won’t Cas just trust they can work as a team? Divorce arc was entirely too literal. 

But what about what we’re building up in 15? That seems like it could be a getting together plot, too, right? Well, yeah. It could very well be. But I’d argue the tension we’re seeing isn’t a will they or won’t they because they already have. The tension is instead will they or won’t they use their words to talk about the baggage that has kept them from truly being confident about their relationship. There’s a crucial step in their togetherness that they’re still missing, which is also the bedrock of the divorce arc that spanned TWELVE FRIGGIN’ EPISODES. Y’all. Y’all that’s half a season. And we’re not even entirely done with it yet because Dean was cut short in purgatory, and they haven’t dealt with Cas’s side of blame in this mess yet either -- that Cas keeps going off on his own and getting hurt (and getting other people hurt), and Dean has to deal with the fallout. The deep emotional understanding, the truly being on the same page is what we’re on the edge of our seats for. And, you know, that’s a whole lot more exciting than witnessing their for realsies first kiss. I’m also confident Dabb & co will deliver the conclusion to this emotional arc and it will be a whole mess of feelings on all our parts. 

For the moment, though, it’s looking a lot like Dean and Cas had a rocky start to their ~involvement, then DEATH, then they got together feat. sweet sweet domestic fluff, then DIVORCE. So, yeah. Season 12, guys; it’s where it’s at. 

As for the more performative aspect of Dean and Cas’s relationship…that’s a whole other thing and all I can say is they got the green light for something, but I don’t know what it is and it’s driving me bananas, but it’s definitely something and we can talk about that, too. Place your bets, etc.  I’m clowning on the “I love you” pay off because it’s a glaring missing piece in this whole story. See also: holding hands? Carving Cas’s initials on the table? Saileen endgame parallels? All supported by the narrative. Like a lot. So. *finger guns*

[writing-prompts-for-friends]

Notes on Robert McKee’s “Story” 21: How to Create a Great “Hook”

Today we’re going to delve into “the inciting incident.” You might also know it as “the hook.” It’s The Big Bang that kickstarts your story. Buckle up because this is an important (and slightly long) post.

The World of the Story

Before you start writing anything, you need to have a crystal clear idea of what your setting is. McKee talked extensively about setting earlier on in the book and I covered it in a post. I also created a World Building Questionnaire with over 100 questions to help you think deeply about your world before you begin writing. So I recommend that you check them out.

06 Setting and Avoiding Cliches

Questions to Help World Build

A couple more things you should consider about your setting are these:

“What are the biographies of my characters? From the day they were born to the opening scene, how has life shaped them?

What is the Backstory? “Backstory” is the set of significant events that occurred in the character’s past that the writer can use to build his story’s progressions. We landscape character biographies, planting them with events that become a garden we’ll harvest again and again.

What is my cast design? Each role must fit a purpose, and the first principle of cast design is polarization. Between the various roles we devise a network of contradictory attitudes. Ideally, each and every character would have a separate and distinctively different reaction to any given event, from something as trivial to a dropped glass to a death in the family. When characters act the same, you minimize the chance for conflict.”

The Inciting Incident

When you come up with your Premise (a.k.a. that spark of an idea that makes you want to write this new story), it doesn’t necessarily need to be the Inciting Incident. Maybe your Premise is the finale, or just a scene somewhere in the middle of the story that you need to build towards. So ask yourself: How do I set my story into action? Where do I place this crucial event?

Here are the necessary qualities of any Inciting Incident, as stated by McKee:

An Inciting Incident must be a dynamic, fully developed event, not something static or vague.

The Inciting Incident radically upsets the balance of forces in the protagonist’s life. Before the Inciting Incident, the protagonist is living a life that’s more or less in balance. But this incident radically upsets the balance, throwing it into either negative or positive.

In most cases, the Inciting Incident is a single event that either happens directly to the protagonist or is caused by the protagonist. He is immediately aware that life is out of balance for better or worse.

The protagonist must react to the Inciting Incident. Even inaction in and of itself is a reaction, though the protagonist cannot remain inactive forever, because there would be no plot otherwise.

The Inciting Incident arouses the protagonist’s desire/need to restore balance, and this leads them to determine an Object of Desire: something physical or situational or attitudinal that he feels he lacks or needs to put the ship of life on an even keel.

The Inciting Incident propels the protagonist into an active pursuit of this object or goal.

*Bonus* For those protagonists that we admire the most, the Inciting Incident arouses not only a conscious desire, but an unconscious one as well. these complex characters suffer intense inner battles because these two desires are in direct conflict with each other. No matter what the character consciously thinks he wants, the audience senses or realizes that deep inside he unconsciously wants the very opposite.

The Spine of the Story

The energy of the protagonist’s desire forms the critical element of design known as the Spine of the story (a.k.a. Through-line or Super-objective). It is the deep desire in and effort by the protagonist to restore the balance of life.

No matter what happens on the surface of the story, each scene, image, and word is ultimately an aspect of the Spine, related, casually or thematically, to this core of desire and action.

If the protagonist has no unconscious desire, then his conscious objective becomes the Spine. The Spine of any James Bond movie, for example, can be phrased as: To defeat the arch-villain. James has no unconscious desires.

If the protagonist has an unconscious desires, this becomes the Spine of the story. An unconscious desire is always more powerful and durable, with roots reaching to the protagonist’s innermost self. When an unconscious desire drives the story, it allows the writer to create a far more complex character who may repeatedly change his conscious desire.

By looking into the heart the protagonist and discovering his desire, you begin to see the arc of your story, the Quest on which the Inciting Incident sends him.

Design of the Inciting Incident

An Inciting Incident can be random, casual, coincidental, or on purpose. A wife could be the random victim of a mugging, inciting the husband to seek revenge. It could be on purpose, too: perhaps a child runs away from abusive parents.

While the the inciting incident for subplots do not have to unfold before the reader, the Inciting Incident of the Central Plot must be seen and felt directly by the reader for two key reasons:

When the audience experiences an Inciting Incident, the work’s Major Dramatic Question, a variation of “How will this turn out?” is provoked.

Witnessing the Inciting Incident projects an image of the Obligatory Scene into the audience’s imagination. The Obligatory Scene (a.k.a. Crisis) is an event the audience knows it must see before the story can end. This scene will bring the protagonist into a confrontation with the most powerful forces of antagonism in his quest, forces stirred to life by the Inciting Incident that will gather focus and strength through the course of the story. The scene is called “obligatory” because having teased the audience into anticipating this moment, the writer is obligated to keep his promise and show it to them.

Can you imagine the outrage you’d feel if you read all of the LotR books, all of them building up to destroying the ring, and instead of describing them casting it into the caldera, the book just cuts to them being back in the Shire and saying, “Man, it was hard but I’m sure glad we managed to get rid of the ring.” Fin.

Wouldn’t you just implode?

Locating the Inciting Incident

In other words, when should you insert the Inciting Incident? McKee’s book is about storytelling, but specifically through the medium of film. Therefore, he talks about this mostly in minutes. However, as writers, we need it in pages, chapters.

He states that the first major event of the Central Plot must occur within the first 25 percent of the telling, no matter the medium. However, the later the Inciting Incident, the higher risk you run of having your audience grow bored.

“Well okay, so I’ll just have the Inciting Incident happen in the first chapter and no worries,” you may be thinking.

For some stories, that is fine. But for others, you need to establish characters before the full impact of the Inciting Incident can be understood.

Take the movie Rocky, for example. Its Inciting Incident happens a full thirty minutes into the movie, when he agrees to fight Apollo Creed for the heavyweight championship of the world. In the thirty minutes leading up to that Inciting Incident, we are engaged by the subplot of his romance with Adrian, and we also learn more about who Rocky is, what an underdog he is--and it is thanks to our understanding of who Rocky Balboa is that the Inciting Incident is so gripping. “Oh my God, there’s no way in hell that Rocky can win! But I want him to win!” If the movie had started out with Rocky challenging Apollo, we would have thought it was just another wrestling match, with nothing at stake.

“Bring in the Central Plot’s Inciting Incident as soon as possible...but not until the moment is ripe.

An Inciting Incident must “hook” the audience, a deep and complete response. Their response must not only be emotional, but rational. This event must not only pull at audience’s feelings, but cause them to ask the Major Dramatic Question and imagine the Obligatory Scene. Therefore, the location of the Central Plot’s Inciting Incident is found in the answer to this question: How much does the audience need to know about the protagonist and his world to have a full response?

If it arrives too soon, the audience may be confused. If it arrives too late, the audience may be bored. The exact moment is found as much by feeling as by analysis.

If we writers have a common fault in design and placement of the Inciting Incident, it’s that we habitually delay the Central Plot while we pack our opening sequences with exposition. We consistently underestimate knowledge and life experience of the audience, laying out our characters and world with tedious details the filmgoer has already filled with common sense.”

A Caveat for Fanfiction Writers

Fanfiction is such a huge genre now, and as a long-time writer of it, I wanted to throw in my own two cents about Inciting Incident and fanfiction. Generally, we post our stories one chapter at a time, either scheduled or whenever we manage to get a chapter done. With fanfiction, it is my personal opinion that the Inciting Incident must be in the first chapter.

Even if you’re writing an AU, the readers will still know the characters and the barebones background information at least, so there is no need to build up who these people are, like in the above example of Rocky.

Because fanfiction is a free, nigh limitless commodity, readers are spoiled (myself included). If the first chapter doesn’t immediately pull them in, what incentive do they have to follow the story?

We’ve also seen this shift in music. It used to be that the “hook” of a song could come at the chorus or that BADASS solo halfway through the song. Scroll through your playlists and take a look--how many contemporary songs start off with the “hook?” I guarantee you it’s more than half. This is because in the age of streaming, we are no longer forced to listen to the entire song on the record or tape or radio. We can give a song a few second’s listen and skip it. Sadly, fanfiction is going down the same path.

The Quality of the Inciting Incident

“Henry James wrote brilliantly about story art in the prefaces to his novels, and once asked: ‘What, after all, is an event?’ An event, he said, could be as little as a woman putting her hand on the table and looking at you ‘that certain way.’ In the right context, just a gesture and a look could mean, ‘I’ll never see you again,’ or ‘I’ll love you forever’--a life broken or made.

The quality of the Inciting Incident (for that matter, any event) must be germane to the world, characters, and genre surrounding it. Once it’s conceived, the writer must concentrate on its function. Does the Inciting Incident radically upset the  balance of forces in the protagonist’s life? Does it arouse in the protagonist the desire to restore balance? In a complex protagonist, does it also bring to life an unconscious desire that contradicts his conscious need? Does it launch the protagonist on a quest for his desire? Does it raise the Major Dramatic question in the mind of the audience? Does it project an image of the Obligatory Scene? If it does all of this, then it can be as little as a woman putting her hand on the table, looking at you 'that certain way.' "

Creating the Inciting Incident

Okay, so now you need to conceive and write the Inciting Incident. McKee states that the hardest part of any story to write is the Climax, but the second-hardest part is the Central Plot's Inciting Incident. This scene is re-written more than any other.

So before you begin penning the Inciting Incident, ask yourself these questions:

What is the worst possible thing that could happen to my protagonist? How could that turn out to be the best possible thing that could happen to him?

What's the best possible thing that could happen to my protagonist? How could it become the worst possible thing?

I wrote an absolutely horrible novel when I was 13. Now that I'm older and all-around better and more experienced in writing and life itself, I want to tear it all apart and rewrite it. The new inciting incident I have in mind currently is this:

Three years prior to the start of the story, the protagonist's mother vanished into thin air. She drove off to the store but never came back, and they found her car crashed down a ravine on the side of the road, but she was gone and the car had no blood in it. The protagonist's father locked himself into his study that night, and has not emerged from it since. The protagonist was 15 at the time, and in the three years that have passed since then she has grown independent. She lives in the house with her father, makes him meals and puts them on trays outside his study. Sometimes he takes them, other times he leaves them untouched. They have zero communication. In many ways, the protagonist feels like she lost not one but both of her parents in that accident.

Then, one day, she wakes up to get ready for school and sees that the study door is wide open for the first time in three years.

So now I have to ask myself the above two questions.

The worst possible thing that could happen to her is if her father has finally gone mad in his isolation and they are unable to restore their bond. How it could change for the best: She could commit him to a facility, allowing him to get professional help and allowing her to move on with her life.

The best possible thing that could happen to her is if her father emerges, sound of mind and body, and picks up his life with her again. How it could change for the worst: They both wish to reestablish an relationship, but an external force separates them, this time permanently.

“A story may turn more than one cycle of this pattern. What is the best? How could that become the worst? How could that reverse yet again into the protagonist's salvation? We stretch toward the 'bests' and 'worsts' because story--when it is art--is not about the middle ground of human experience.

The impact of the Inciting Incident creates our opportunity to reach the limits of life. It's a kind of explosion. No matter how subtle or direct, it must upset the status quo of the protagonist and jolt his life from its existing pattern, so that chaos invades the character's universe. Out of this upheaval, you must find, at Climax, a resolution, for better or worse, that rearranges this universe into a new order.”

Source: McKee, Robert. Story: Substance, Structure, Style, and the Principles of Screenwriting. York: Methuen, 1998. Print

[naruhearts]

TFW, Jack Winchester & Peace of Mind...

[Dean, ext. in the Impala]

TAPE DECK: The key to quieting your mind, is minding your quiet.  [Dean pulls the tape out, throws it on the seat] —10x11 There’s No Place Like Home transcript ***

Seems like 14x15 Peace of Mind and its premise (the title, guys!) could link back to 14x09 (with all this narrative talk of quietness, tape decks, and using your words)—

x

—and 10x11 besides carrying over 14x14′s key themes of Life and Death, Family, Love and...Love, and Subtext in Storytelling.

In 10x11, Good Charlie faced Evil Charlie — the cunning and conniving (and Charlie herself was a mirror to MoC!Dean), yet she was so preoccupied with shame and guilt over her Dark mirror self that she overlooked something fundamental: the intrinsic dualism of the human condition. Say, being conniving as a hunter helps her save people. Yin and Yang. You cannot be good without evil, and you cannot be evil without good. Agency and free will matter, in that you choose which side to act on, and all the complex nuances in-between — doing something stupid (bad) for the right reasons — are the judges of your moral character. 

In Season Who Am I/Season Mirrors 14, Dean and Cas’ narrative arcs — both mirroring each other (since S12) — cycle back to this internal battle, where Dean saying Yes to Michael was a bad decision, yet it was a decision steeped in the good: his boundless love for his family and the larger safety of the world. Although he stated in 14x13 that he’s ‘good with who he is’ (and I don’t doubt the validity of it at all, because oh man it SHOWS, in almost every facet of his emotional states e.g. transparency with Cas re: his Michael-induced trauma and letting Sam separate himself from his shadow), Dean’s still experiencing a gradual uphill trek to achieving complete self-actualization after decades of John-bred negative self-process, low self-worth, and depression; it’s definitely logical to assume that Dean, at his core, will somehow blame himself for the slaughter of the AU Hunters by Michael!Rowena. 

But don’t worry — Dean’s character progression towards self-love is PALPABLY closer than it’s ever been in S14!! And we all know that, beyond his brother Sam, the key significant motivator for this is Cas: Dean’s subtextual spouse. The one he trusts wholeheartedly. The one who brought him back from the brink, many times. The one who fell for his humanity. The one who did it - all of it - for him. The one who believes Dean is ‘more than strong’/believes Sam and Dean (subtextually: DEAN) are extraordinary, brave, special, burn bright. The one who helps weed out the creeping vines of low self-worth, reminding Dean Humanity Winchester of his valuable lessons: that there is always a way, a better way, a hopeful way.

If death - if evil - still surfaces regardless of one’s perseverance and good intentions, “sometimes things just are; you have to live with that.” Most importantly--

x

Listen to your own advice, Dean.

Cas, on the other hand, struck up a deal with the Empty to protect Jack the TFW mirror. Shifting away from his sense of expendability and self-sacrifice (as the worthless means to a self-destructive end e.g. saying Yes to Lucifer, mirrored by Dean) in past seasons, Cas’ current choices (his choice to sacrifice himself for Jack) are, like Dean, steeped in Love and...Love — and Cas is very humanized this season, with an incredible scale of expressive emotions for an angel and vast internalization of overall human values and human morality — but his angelic self-awareness manifested in 14x14. This pivotal scene between Cas and his character exposition Jack showed audiences that Cas still perceives himself as a “thing” and, like Dean, Cas continues to feel the deep residue of expendability and duty as an ex-Angel of the Lord despite making recent positive characteristic leaps and bounds (his accrued trauma re: Naomi, for example, lurks in the back of Cas’ mind, reminding him of his sole purpose as Heaven’s blunt tool).

14x14’s narrative insight into Cas’ self-awareness of his position in the Winchester family as a supernatural entity (he’s put a lot of thought into knowing what may be in his future — losing Sam and Dean) hinders him from fully acknowledging and accepting the fact that he IS family. Not quite there, my friends, but he almost is.

Jack, yearning to be useful for his family, proclaimed himself a Winchester last episode in the manner most reflective and evocative of Cas, Dean and Sam’s own past choices (Michael, Lucifer, the Mark of Cain, Godstiel — you name it) (Jack’s helplessness was also visually symbolized when he turned into a “sick” dog, additionally closely mirroring Cas and particularly Dean’s duty-bound inclinations, then keeping in mind the connotations attached to Dog in the SPN narrative: expendability.)

Now it’s Jack’s turn to further find himself, sift through the respective TFW influences of faith, hope, and love (the three theological virtues represented by TFW) bestowed upon him, and “die” in order to live. Ouroboros. What path will Jack Winchester choose? What decision will he make? Is he the snake or the chicken? *Mind you, meta writers shivered in our boots once 14x14 aired*

In keeping Gorgon Noah’s snake, seemingly ‘killing’ Michael, and absorbing his grace to become a textually benevolent but subtextually ominous iteration of Godstiel while simultaneously saving his family, we can say Jack is both the chicken and the snake. Thus, in classic Winchester fashion, the effects — the benefits and consequences — of his actions shall reap important self-introspective lessons that Jack will eventually experience.

You can’t save everybody, but you can try to make choices that provide even the slightest chance of winning. If the last few key thematic episodes were any indication: faith, hope, love, and open honest communication (the latter exercised by Jack pretty liberally until Meta Extravaganza 14x14, when he dodged - again in classic Winchester fashion - his own family’s concerns via I’m FineTM) build up your resistance in a turbulent, uncertain world.

As TPTB has thematically reinforced through narrative cyclism and mirrored pathways over and over again during the past few seasons:

Self-love/positive self-process breeds life and rebirth. Self-hate/maladaptively negative self-process breeds death and destruction. To truly be human, we must live with both personal internal forces -- they are naturally interdependent. Self-hate pushes us to seek self-love. Personal imprisonment and control pushes us to break free and release ourselves from control in order to allow growth. Ultimately, life fluctuates and never stays static.

We are absolutely capable of choosing the good and acting on the good.

TFW, once they forgive ALL their faults and transform them into present/future strengths, will finally mind their quiet and have peace of mind. They’re going to realize that living a meaningful life involves the good and the bad. A dual balance of both is tantamount. Jack is the catalyst.

Everything means something.

[superchartisland]

MegaRace (Cryo/Mindscape, PC, 1993)

The world of early CD-ROM games shows some emerging standards. MegaRace’s electronic soundtrack is nothing on Rebel Assault’s Star Wars score but, just like that that game, MegaRace uses streaming of pre-rendered backdrops to allow you to travel through spectacular environments. I’m not sure if its testament to my poor observational powers, or to the skill of developers Cryo, that I didn’t realise immediately that MegaRace’s race-tracks are as static and unalterable as Rebel Assault’s flight paths. Certainly there was something immediately odd feeling about the way that you come up behind another car and then follow it at a precisely maintained constant distance for a while before getting the chance to deal with it. There was a clear invisible hand pushing you to stay on the right track. But the barriers, never mind the opponents, at least feel more like they are really there.

That’s not much of a compliment, and there isn’t much to compliment in how MegaRace plays. Essentially Chase HQ but in another dystopian high tech future and without the innocent by-drivers or sense of fun, you are tasked with chasing down and destroying various cars. Shoot them, bump them into the wall, or go past them and wait for them to spontaneously combust, and the next one soon appears in front of you. The spongy handling means it’s a relief to have something to concentrate on other than following the track, and further to that you do have some go faster arrows to try to hit, if not any cabbages to avoid.

The visuals are relatively flashy but now cloudy-looking in exactly the same way as Rebel Assault, and whizzing through futuristic cities or underwater tunnels never gets as involving as it could. Which would leave MegaRace a thoroughly underwhelming game if it wasn’t for the fact that, also like Rebel Assault, the presentation of the non-playable elements has a larger than normal role to play.

MegaRace went all in on FMV and recording an actor, with many lengthy sequences of exposition. Christian Erickson (not to be confused with Christian Eriksen the footballer) plays the oh-so-subtly-named Lance Boyle, the game show host introducing your role as the Enforcer, selected for virtual world television to destroy all those no good punks ruining the roads. The story emphasises this messed-up future world and revels in the idea of destruction and risk, but at the same time keeps pointing out that it’s all taking place in a virtual world and no one is really being harmed. It’s a peculiarly toothless way of having its ultraviolence and eating it. 

Handed this rather sorry material, though, Erickson makes it sing. (Apologies to readers who are not British/didn’t grow up in the ‘90s for the forthcoming comparison...) He plays the host role like Richard O’Brien on The Crystal Maze turned up to 11, a twinkly trickster whose flashes of warmth and of danger go hand-in-hand, and who under the surface always seems just slightly amused by something he won’t let on. The jerky camera cuts and the computer graphics backgrounds further help to make him larger than life and more unsteadying.

Long bits of this performance come before you even have to do anything as the player, and it’s not really something that rewards watching over and over. There are neat touches like getting an additional Lance interjection if you are taking too long to decide which vehicle you want to go out and destroy in, but it’s mostly fairly detached from what you’re doing as a player. And yet, being tied to any interactivity at all makes it take on a different flavour to just sitting and watching a film. You can’t ever quite forget that you might be needed to take action at any moment, that you are a student taking in information that you might be tested on, that you are sitting plugged into this world already. Lance Boyle is captivating in part because Lance Boyle as a game cutscene works better than Lance Boyle as a film ever could, and for all its other failures MegaRace at least takes full advantage of that.

PC CD-ROM chart, Edge 010, July 1994

[animebw]

Binge-Watching: Katana Maidens, Episodes 4-6

Oh Christ, this went downhill fast. In which the plotting is buried by mounds of exposition, the pacing falls apart, and the characters do their best to pick up the slack.

Losing the Plot

Crap, I was worried this might happen. As much promise as Katana Maidens showed in its opening episodes, it was always an open question of how well it was going to be able to fulfill that promise. Slow-reveal plots like the kind this show is going for walk a very fine line; you’re essentially gambling your trust that there’s a solid game plan behind the smokescreen and by the time everything it revealed, it’ll be satisfying and make sense. And for a while, Katana Maidens was toeing that line very well. There was a clear sense of purpose behind what it was keeping hidden, and each new reveal took the story in unexpected directions. It was genuinely exciting to watch unfold, because the possibilities raised by each new step forward were exhilarating to consider. But all at once, everything’s ground to a halt, and a story that I was genuinely invested in starts falling apart at the seams, replacing that eagerness with tedium and frustration. Before, the show felt like it was using its hidden plot to expand outward and propel forward; now, it feels like it’s completely closing in on itself, buried under the weight of its won unwieldy nature.

There’s a lot of reasons why, but they pretty much all come down to one core issue: absolutely atrocious exposition dumps. This show’s been so good at teasing out information naturally, letting nuggets of information and worldbuilding filter through at a reasonable pace. But suddenly, every episode has at least one moment where the story grinds to a halt for some character to spend a good two minutes rattling off a titanic list of proper nouns, spilling their guts in massive text paragraphs that are so dense they all but guarantee your eyes will glaze over. It’s some of the most unnatural, impenetrable information communication I’ve seen in a very long time, and it bogs the proceedings down with bloat and extraneous detail. There’s so much goddamn lore stuffed down our throats in these episodes that none of it even registers. And it doesn’t help that these sequences are framed about as lifelessly as possible, with dull cinematography and totally static framing, making them into even more of an indiscernable white noise. Good exposition should make the world feel like it’s expanding around you, opening up possibilities and new avenues of thought. The first couple episodes managed to do that just fine, and there are still moments where that shines though. Hiyori recognizing that Kanami’s far more perceptive than she looks was a well-earned moment of clarity, considering we’ve had plenty of time to confirm Kanami’s analytical tendencies for ourselves in episodes previous. But this? This just stifles expansion, making the world feel lifeless and hollow and overburdened. Like every new reveal only cuts another exciting possibility off the vine before it has a chance to ripen.

Two Left Feet

But that’s not the only place where Katana Maidens is suddenly running out of steam with something it managed quite well before; even the fights are starting to collapse in on themselves now. This is likely an issue of the production being stretched thin and the studio not having enough resources to animate at top capacity, but surprisingly, it’s not the use of CG character models that’s frustrating me here. Those elements actually work pretty fine, considering how expressive the CG is. What’s killing the fights now is that they’ve lost that sharp, precise editing that made them so entertaining. Action scenes live on ebb and flow, and for whatever reason, this show’s flow just got completely tangled in a briar patch, because the fights now are awkward as fuck. There’s no good sense of where or when everything is in relation to each other; things just happen, with no buildup or payoff, and then awkwardly stumble into the next moment with no emotional or logical connective tissue. There’s a moment in the clash with Ellen and Kaoru where they summon down flying lockers with special equipment, but they’re already dressed in that equipment in the very first shot after the lockers actually land. The moment of them actually putting that armor on is cut; the way it’s spaced out, it feels like it just materialized on them out of the blue.

And this lack of care cripples the fights not just as fun spectacle, but as emotional storytelling too. We jump between locations far too haphazardly with no sense of where everyone is in relation to each other, and how each part of the fight matters to the rest of it. We’re not allowed a chance to really get in our fighters’ headspaces, unless it’s for Kanami to rattle off increasingly obtuse observations on everyone’s fighting style. And as a result, few of the attempted emotional moments have enough context to land the way they need to. Hiyori and Kanami’s teamwork to combat the elite guards is hindered by how nebulous the power dynamics of that battle feel; the fight hasn’t sold us on the danger these opponents cause because their attacks and strategies have no impact or force behind them. That one member of the guard going berserk should have been chilling, but instead I’m just frustrated that Ellen stood in front of her like a dumbass for a good five seconds and did nothing to try and stop her from setting up an obvious counterattack. And the pathos of that particular opponent’s dark power-up is so weightless that Kanami saving her at the end barely carries any meaning. I like the idea of Kanami being the sword that protects to Hiyori’s sword that kills, the optimistic counterbalance to Hiyori’s necessary ruthlessness, but there’s so little sense of the stakes of these battles that I genuinely can’t get a handle on how justified her salvations actually are. Now that I think of it, I don’t think we ever really got a reason for why the white-haired girl stopped fighting them after Kanami disarmed her in episode 3. She just... completely ignored her mission without any reason for a change of heart. And that completely neuters the supposed weight of Kanami’s mission; when it doesn’t feel like she’s overcoming anything to pacify her opponents instead of taking the easy way out and killing them, the hand of the author is far too obvious.

Grumpy Cat

So with the story crushing itself from the outside in and the forward momentum tangled in a knot, is Katana Maidens doomed? Not yet; it’s still got plenty of time to recover from these mistake as it moves forward. Until then, though, it’s gotta rely on the strength of its character interactions to carry it through these rough patches. And at the very least, Kanami and Hiyori still have a pretty strong dynamic, based on mutual respect and consideration for each other ( ”So you don’t need to accompany me.” “You’re right. But your burden seems heavy, so I’ll carry half of it.”) But if there’s any real saving grace that keeps these episodes from completely losing my interest, it’s the eternal grumpy munchkin Kaoru, who is such a big, fat mood in every scene she’s in. I adore how nonplussed and deadpan she is, rolling with the punches with the weary, bratty resignation of an overworked college student in a toddler’s body. She almost reminds of Gintoki, in a way; you get the sense she’s rather be anywhere else than here right now, and she’s not afraid to take casual potshots at the absurdity of the situation (”Dammit, it’s already been settled.”), but when the chips are down she won’t hesitate to bust some ass and teach some fools a lesson (”Your pets did quite a number on my pet. I’m here to return the favor.”) She’s a frigging delight, and if nothing else, I’m glad she’s here to put some pep in this show’s sluggish step. God knows it needs all the pep it can get right now.

Odds and Ends

-”I’m sending it over express.” RWBY, eat your heart out. Fuck me, that got me good.

-Okay, the streamer landing on Hiyori’s head was a nice touch.

-”If you have a problem, take it up with the old la- our superiors.” GOD DAMMIT KAORU STOP WINNING AT EVERYTHING FOR TWO SECONDS

-”But it’s so cute!” Just accept it, Hiyonon, this is your life now.

-”He just likes girls with big busts.” Aaaaand moment ruined. Screw you, Nene.

-Cripes, do all the elite guard have these things in their bloodstream? That’s wack, yo.

-”Let’s play!” Oh dear, bratty murder children are my weak spot.

-I don’t like the look of those red eyes at all.

-...why are there lava pits under the school. That can’t mean anything good.

-Once again, I do not understand why they haven’t changed out of their uniforms yet. Stealth before marketability, girls!

-Okay but when would she have time to set a camera up there in the first place

-”Home run.” KAORU I SWEAR TO FUCK

-”I don’t have a single good memory attached to hearing you sound like that.” Can we just focus on the adults from now on?

Hoo boy, here’s hoping this show can recover from here. See you next time!

[wardencommanderrodimiss]

Witches of LA, Chapter 2: I hope you like exposition and pro wrestling jokes because that’s all we’ve got here

[Seelie of Kurain Chapter Masterlist] [ao3] 

[Witches Chapter Masterlist] [ao3]

“And where exactly did you say we’re going?”

“It’s called Nine-Tails Vale! Jinxie – you remember her from New Years? – works there and invited us up for a yokai festival today!”

“A yokai ff – is it too late to get off the train and go home?”

-

Nine-Tails Vale sits in the hills at the base of the mountains of Kurain, far enough away that there’s a chance that they can have as normal a day as anyone at a yokai festival could, but close enough that the hills around the valley still might be faery mounds. Like most days at the WAA, anything goes, and Apollo has to live with it. And maybe he’ll die with it one of these days, sooner rather than later.

Trucy keeps trying again to explain to Apollo the storyline of the local wrestling scene, which she and Jinxie are avid fans of, on their walk over from the train station.

“It’s like a soap opera combined with a fantasy story, but also with grown men hitting each other with chairs,” she says, which is definitely a pitch that would appeal to certain people who aren’t Apollo. “They’ve got their thing that’s kinda like Court, or if there were two Courts who hated each other, and they battle it out in the ring like Daddy says some of the fae do within our legal system. Because the wrestlers are all masked and they’re the proxies for these powerful spirits who possess them whenever they’re wearing the mask. Like selkie skins but if the seal was separate and you were being controlled by it.”

“Uh huh,” Apollo says, surveying the main lane they’ve come up along. The dirt path, lined with a few scattered cobblestones, is overladen with little wheeled carts and pop-up stands selling little charms and trinkets and decorated with leering faces of yokai. Overwhelmed and shoved aside by the merchandise are older buildings bearing signs with both English and Japanese writing and weathered stone statues that have little offerings and candles scattered about their bases. “I wouldn’t feel like being possessed by a seal is very useful. What am I going to do, flop around a lot?”

“There’s always slapping,” Trucy says. “But I’m saying it’s like that. You put on the skin and you turn into it, wear the mask and bam.”

“Uh huh.”

“So when the wrestlers lose, they can have their masks stripped off, which is the ultimate disgrace because they lose both their power and the world and their enemies know their face and name and can claim them.” Trucy stops and leans over a table of paper tags marked all with a paw print and otherwise with a variety of characters and symbols. “And anyway it never got real big until the Amazing Nine-Tails – he’s one of the wrestlers obviously – started being active outside of the ring. And that’s a real no-go to use your powers like that, but he started getting attention, and the Vale started getting attention, and then this yokai craze kinda started up and now there’s lots of tourists from way out of the area watching the matches and visiting!”

“They’d have to be from way out of town,” Apollo says, “because there’s no one I know from the LA area who would hear about a town in the mountains full of monsters and say ‘yeah, I’m going to spend money to go spend time there’.”

“Yet here we are,” Trucy says. She reaches into her purse and pulls out a bracelet of wooden beads. “Oh, here.” She grabs his arm and slips it onto his wrist next to his bracelet, then shaking her own wrist to draw his attention to a matching one she wears. “I forgot to give you this sooner; it’s rowan wood, which is—”

“An anti-fae charm like iron,” Apollo finishes.

Trucy nods. “Yep! And anti-yokai, it overlaps. Anyway, Daddy says it’s very important to not get rowan mixed up with hawthorn wood, which the fae like. He says that’s a very dangerous mistake to make.”

(“Are you speaking from experience?” Apollo asked, and Phoenix cracked a broken smile and told him that’s all he has to speak from.)

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Apollo says.

“I know you’ve got your ring, but it can’t hurt us to be extra cautious out here today.” Trucy pats the necklace she is wearing; a small horseshoe-shaped charm that must be made of iron dangles from it. Horseshoes are a lucky thing, or thought to be, Apollo knows. Clay has one he keeps with him. “I think that’s why Daddy wanted you to come with me. I think he’s worried I would get into trouble alone, since Jinxie’s working and I won’t be with her all day.”

“I thought he sent me with you because he hates me,” Apollo says. Trucy smacks him on the arm.

Uphill to the alderman’s manor, the dirt roads merge with a well-kept cobblestone path to lead them into a beautiful garden, full of paper lanterns and long banquet tables. Trucy sticks her nose into a bush of beautiful golden flowers and is still admiring them when Jinxie, wearing an apron over her dress and carrying a round serving tray, finds them and slaps a warding charm – one of the thin formal slips that Apollo saw for sale down in the yokai extravaganza, like she wears on her own forehead, not a sticky note – on his forehead. Even after she remembers that she’s met him before, they have to make their way through another circular argument about whether or not Apollo is a fae demon. Trucy has apparently given up on convincing Jinxie of the truth, because she says, “He’s a demon but a good one!”

Does he look extra monstrous today, for some reason? Is his hair spikier, his voice louder? What has he done to deserve this?

Jinxie works as a maid at the manor, though she doesn’t live in the Vale but instead in the neighboring Tenma Town, and with her job she can’t spend all afternoon with them. She imparts on them some local lore from the village about the powerful and terrible yokai, Tenma Taro – is it coincidence or significant that its name bears such similarity to Tenma Town? Like Kurain and Khura’in, what does that mean? – imprisoned in the mountain that the manor is built against. Today’s festival, she explains, is a much more robust version, bolstered by tourist dollars, of a ceremony they hold every year, ritually releasing a shade of Tenma Taro and then banishing it.

Though instead of the Nine-Tailed Fox, the village’s guardian yokai – is that an oxymoron? Apollo once would have thought so, but he works in an office that has a guardian ghost fae – doing the banishing, the wrestler the Amazing Nine-Tails, will be.

Which reminds Apollo of Trucy’s one-sided conversation on the way over, and he interrupts Jinxie and Trucy starting to gush over some recent matches to ask, “So all of this you’re talking about, the wrestlers, uh, kind of channeling yokai spirits – that’s all just in the fiction of wrestling not really being real, right?” They both glare at him. “They aren’t actually using magic and summoning demons, right?”

“Apollo,” Trucy scolds, her hands curled into fists on her hips. “You can’t break kayfabe! You should know that!”

He wishes he had the strength to believe that it isn’t real, and that no one could be so stupid to be fucking around that deep into fae magic for the sake of televised entertainment, but he’s also here at a goddamn yokai festival on one of his days off and that’s pretty stupid too.

“I should get back to work,” Jinxie says. “I’ll see you later – ah!”

Making its way through the garden, causing people to spring out of its path, is a tall bird-creature, with gray feathers and three yellow eyes and sharp talons on its hands and feet, which with their yellow skin resemble the legs of some kind of raptor. It resembles the yokai on the scroll Jinxie showed them, the Tenma Taro, but it’s just – someone in a costume? Right? A costume for a festival, and not actually—

It rounds on Jinxie with a hiss. “Better watch out, little girl, or I’ll sssnatch you away!” She raises her platter up over her face and cowers back into one of the banquet tables. Apollo thinks that it probably is just someone in a costume, now that he’s seen it speak; its beak doesn’t move and its tongue lolls forth even in the middle of its speech. It’s too static, or is that wishful thinking?

But no one else is looking at the monster and how it’s cornered Jinxie, no one moving to help her – and Apollo realizes he is moving forward, not sure what he could do if it’s a yokai and knowing he shouldn’t do anything if it’s a performer (like how he and Clay got banned from a local haunted house when they were 13 because Clay reflexively punched one of the actors in the sternum), but still unable to stand by.

“Hey! Don’t stare like that!” someone nearby warns, at a volume that tries to be a whisper but doesn’t really succeed. They must be talking to Apollo and Trucy, because no one else, not even Jinxie, is staring. “If Tenma Taro locks eyes with you, he’ll steal your soul!”

Apollo turns his eyes to the ground instantly, reflexively, because that’s the one thing he knows not to take chances on even though, as he thinks about it, he’s more sure that this monster is a costume and even if it weren’t, he doesn’t think there’s anything powerful enough to just simply take a soul so easily. And if there were, they wouldn’t just casually set it loose. (He hopes.)

“Look!” Trucy whispers, nudging him and pointing toward the manor, where a small figure stands on the roof dark against the blue spring sky. Whatever – whoever – it is leaps down to the lower roof, disappearing from sight, but only a few seconds later springs again, with a long leap far too long to be human. (He thinks first of Lamiroir’s disappearing act and wonders what the trick behind this is.) The man who lands in the midst of them, between Tenma Taro and Jinxie, wears a wrestler’s belt and a golden fox-head mask, with a collar of the same color fur that turns into a cape of many long foxes’ tails. If he was going to guess, Apollo would say that there are nine.

Clearly the Amazing Nine-Tails, and with some silted words about vanquishing evil, he chases Tenma Taro back toward the manor. And Apollo might now be really convinced of the scriptedness of it – and admittedly relieved by that – but the crowds are cheering and Jinxie no longer looks like she’s about to faint from fright. With her platter still clutched across her chest like a shield, she waves goodbye and returns to work, and Trucy drags Apollo off to explore the town.

-

Trucy wants to buy everything. Apollo should have expected that – the amount of Gavineers merchandise that she acquired in the two weeks between their meeting Klavier and the concert was astonishing – and to that end he should have expected that she would run out of money and turn to him. She at least considers herself an organized businesswoman, enough to write up the invoice of what she owes him, and he strikes from it the paper warding charms they buy. He isn’t sure yet if he believes in them, but he’d probably be getting a few for his and Clay’s apartment anyway, and Trucy is talking about how it would be nice to have some kind of protective charm to give to Vera that wouldn’t hurt her like iron, and getting something for their friends seems a worthwhile investment. Trucy’s attempt to wheedle a few dollars out of him for another plush Nine-Tailed Fox keychain is not.

It’s warmer now than it was last April, enough that Apollo tentatively hopes that the fae are done throwing their winter tantrums. If Trucy had to drag him anywhere – and she would consider that a necessity – it’s a good day for it, pleasant to spend time out under the sun and the clear sky. He’s not even convinced that the town is as cursed as he first assumed.

Naturally, that’s where it always goes wrong, letting his guard down, no longer anticipating that the worst is going to claw its way up out of the dirt.

He and Trucy circle back to the manor as a crowd is starting to gather at the front doors; at the center of it, once they manage to push through the people, Trucy helping clear a path by sending Mr Hat off to the side to draw people’s eyes and attention the way a will o’ the wisp does, is Jinxie, simultaneously wild-eyed and looking close to passing out. She stretches out one visibly-trembling hand and grabs Trucy by the wrist, her other arm still hugging the platter close to her chest. It must be iron, it must. “Alderman Kyubi is dead!” she cries. “T-ten – Tenma Taro murdered the alderman!”

She sways on her feet and Trucy takes her by the elbow and helps lower her to sit on the ground, and Apollo does what is starting to become a habit in these sort of situations – which are becoming habitual in themselves – and rushes in, pocketing a charm that Jinxie throws at him as he goes.

The scene is a small room Jinxie called the Fox Chamber, up the entry stairs and down the hall to the right, and there, one thing is certain: the alderman is dead.

-

A classic locked room murder mystery: two men, one dead, the other unconscious, no one else seen when Jinxie discovered the crime. The killer? Obvious, seemingly: the unfortunate unconscious man, whose murder plan clearly ran into a hitch when it came time to get away, and for motive who happens to be the mayor of the neighboring town currently disputing over municipal issues with the dead alderman.

Except the mayor is Jinxie’s father, and if he goes to jail she has no other family, and she’s adamant that Tenma Taro did the killing, and the last locked-room murder case that Apollo defended ended up not being one at all. So, classic setup, maybe, never the obvious solution, and Apollo’s record of stumbling into complex cases while he’s trying to do something law-unrelated with Trucy continues. Is it her? Is it him? Is it them both, together? He can only write so much off as coincidence.

And he wishes he could write off Jinxie’s ramblings as those of a superstitious girl scared witless by the feathers and bloody footprints at the crime scene, and maybe once he could have, maybe this time last year, but he’s seen too much since then. If a monster, a yokai – are they connected to the fae? They must be. Isn’t everything? – murdered the alderman, then the question becomes: how does he prove it? How does he convince the judge and prosecution of it?

He should start with asking Mayor Tenma what happened, first.

Trucy tells him that the mayor can seem scary, but he’s nice, really, promise not to run away, Polly. His nerves would be frayed enough without it, but her warning snaps several more of the barely-connected threads, and like a self-fulfilling prophecy, he’s jumpy and nearly flees the room, sheet of glass between them or no. Mayor Tenma is very good at setting some very bad impressions, loudly, with great force, giving Apollo’s heart time enough to stop several times before the mayor corrects the misconception. It’s a very anxiety-inducing interview, and the facts he gleans from it are worse: Mayor Tenma’s fingerprints were on the murder weapon, and he, asleep from being drugged, remembers nothing, including who was it that hit him on the head. Apollo can’t see the wound or a bandage; the mayor’s entire scalp is covered in Jinxie’s warding charms, as though to make a full hat. Does he believe, or is he humoring his daughter? Apollo doesn’t ask.

He has barely left the building when he receives a phone call from the last person he expects. “Mr Wright? What’s going on?”

“Trucy tells me you’ve found yourself a case over in Nine-Tails Vale.” No preamble, no small talk: Phoenix, friendly as ever.

“Uh, yeah. Why?”

“Are you still at the Vale right now?”

“No, I was just talking to the client at the detention center. Why?”

Phoenix sighs heavily. “Because I’m at the airport, picking up the new addition to the Agency – Athena Cykes, Trucy’s mentioned her to you before? And I mentioned your case, and that was it, no stopping her, Athena ditched me with her luggage and took the rental car and is heading out to help you right now.”

“She – you what? She what?” Apollo won’t say that he doesn’t feel some small sense of satisfaction at Phoenix having to suffer someone else flaking on him, but what an impression to make on your new boss.

(Almost as good as punching him in the face.)

“So I need a favor, basically: can you go back to Nine-Tails Vale and intercept her?”

“I—” Once again, the way this day is going takes a sharp turn off the road. “Yeah, I can. But I’ve never met her – what’s she look like?”

“Yellow,” Phoenix says.

“What?”

“She’s got long red hair, and the way you’re red, she’s yellow. Hard to miss with how much energy she’s got.” The description is somehow both vague and incredibly specific – he can’t exactly picture Miss Cykes in his head, but he knows he won’t mistake anyone else for her when he finds her.

“Okay. I can do that. I have to go back anyway to check out the crime scene.” Did he say that Athena had a rental car? He can only dream of how convenient that will be once he gets to her.

“Cool, thanks. Good luck with the case – and with the Vale.”

So much for putting himself at ease convincing himself that it was just a man in a costume, and that there’s some sort of easy explanation for the feathers. (Or not an easy explanation, because saying that Tenma Taro passed through is very easy, but a mundane one.) “What does that mean? Mr Wright?” He doesn’t answer right away, giving Apollo’s stomach enough time to flip over itself and then squish his heart up into his throat. “The stuff Trucy was saying about wrestling, with the yokai and the masks and uh, channeling them? Or whatever it is – that’s not – that’s just the story on the show, right? That’s not…?”

“Not actually real? For most of them, it’s not, no; no magic in the mask but television magic and a tall tale to keep the audience.”

“But – most of them. You said for most of them? So for some of them it is real?”

“Yeah.”

Apollo wants to sink down to the sidewalk and cry. Or scream. Definitely scream, right here next to a police building where they can arrest him for disturbing the peace very easily.

“I can say with certainty that if any spirits involved were actually powerful and smart enough to be malicious, they wouldn’t be stooping to playing a part in half-scripted on-camera fights between half-naked men. Maybe it’ll be a nuisance to your case, at worst, but no threat to anyone’s lives or souls.”

Apollo wishes he could believe that wholeheartedly, and that he could say for sure that Phoenix’s definition of nuisance is something close to his own. “If you don’t get the Not Guilty tomorrow, when you head back up to investigate again, I’ll let you borrow the magatama,” Phoenix adds. “Just so you can really keep an eye on everything, if it’s needed.”

He thinks there will be a second day – that if Apollo doesn’t win in one, then he will have kept his head above water well enough to drag it out. He doesn’t expect Apollo to lose in a day. He thinks Apollo could win in a day.

“Thanks, Mr Wright.”

“No problem. Now you’ve gotta find Athena, and I’ve gotta figure out how to lug her suitcase home.”

Athena, Athena – what else has Trucy told him about her? She was studying in Europe – did she grow up there, too? Does she know what Los Angeles is like? Will she think him superstitious or ridiculous for everything he knows to be real? Does she know what she is walking into in Nine-Tails Vale? Did Phoenix warn her?

Apollo starts walking quicker than before. Of course Phoenix wouldn’t warn her – but hell, to be charitable to Phoenix (for once), he might not have had time to say anything to her before she took off.

If, against his own nature and his lived experience, he tries to be optimistic, he hopes for three things. First, that everyone involved in the murder his plainly human and that no monster committed murder. (That seems the most likely: would a monster know to plant the mayor’s fingerprints?) Second, that Athena has enough sense to be cautious about whatever village folklore they’re stumbling into instead of immediately dismissing it. And third, if he’s really dreaming, that Klavier will be the prosecutor on this case, easily able to identify who is and isn’t human and probably willing to share it.

But Apollo knows that’s all a little much to hope.

[tear-her-aus]

Karma’s a Bitch - pt 8

Part 1    Part 2     Part 3     Part 4    Part 5    Part 6    Part 7    Part 8

Summary: Closure. That’s what you needed to finally forget that memory of your past. A memory that shaped you into becoming the person you are today. Perhaps you wouldn’t find closure, but instead closure in the form of a boy would find you.

Pairing: Jimin x female reader x Jungkook (?)

WC: 3.3k

Warnings: Low self esteem, past trauma, mentions of an eating disorder, mentions of bullying.

A/N: This part is mainly angst, so prepare yourselves. Yet, there’s a part I consider cute, so it’s not that bad. Overall, I hope you enjoy! The main plot is finally here!! 

* - * - * - * - *

Part 8 

You told Jin that you were feeling better, but it was a lie. You wanted nothing more than for earth to swallow you completely. Everything seemed like a joke now. It had to be in the precise moment when you started to feel something so real that everything had to end up crashing down in a spiral of pain. It was you who always hurted, who always ended up broken. A part of you wanted to scream in despair, but the best part of you (or was it the worst) made you stay there, feet static and eyes wandering through your whole body until they fixed on your eyes. How can those eyes have changed in the lapse of minutes? In the morning they were full of joy and ecstasy, but now they were empty except for a little spark ignited that later on would become a whole fire. However, you didn’t know that yet since you were too focused on your thoughts, all too consuming by themselves. Everything around you felt like an eternity, like time stopped for a second and you were the only one aware of her surroundings. But in fact, it was the complete opposite; you were the only one lost at that moment. The sound of a toilet being flushed made you snap from your reverie, yet it wasn’t enough to make you brave enough to affront the situation. Your mind was screaming you had to go back to the weight room, but your hurting heart was telling you to run. Being so used to listening to your mind, you decided for once to listen to your heart, so you ran.

Without thinking in the consequences, you took your belongings and ran as fast as you could. There were probably a lot of curious glances directed your way as you ran through the front door of the gym, but you didn’t care. It was only when you were stopped in a halt by a hand grabbing your wrist that you were drown back to reality. Slowly, you turned your head in the direction of the hand wishing it wasn’t Jimin. To your luck, it was Jungkook, who had a curious but worried look on his face. You knew that if you let him talk, you would burst into tears in front of him, so you decided on saying a simple sentence that would let him go off you. “It’s urgent,” you managed to say weakly. You didn’t know if it was the look in your face or the connotation the sentence evoked, but it worked. Immediately, Jungkook freed your hand and without waiting for his reply, you kept running. You just ran, wondering if it would stop you from thinking, from feeling. However, as you kept your pace, the memories started flowing like needles being punctured painfully into your mind.

Gasping for air, you saw it clearly as if it was a movie you’ve watched at least a hundred times: you were sitting on the floor with your color pencils sprayed in the floor while you had one in your hand as you drew a beautiful sky. Some minutes passed, and you had already drawn yourself in the paper, but something was missing making your frown. Just in time, your best friend sat down beside you with his own paper in hand and the most adorable smile on his face. “Are you finished?” He had asked while trying to pry on your drawing which you tried to cover from his view. “Don’t look! I haven’t finished,” you pouted as you wanted your drawing to be a surprise. “Okay, I won’t look, but you have to finish it fast! I want to see what you draw!” his impatience always getting in the way. You nodded your head fast and kept drawing once you saw him already focused on the sunset instead of you. Now that your friend came into view, you were inspired, so with your tongue between your lips, you started drawing someone beside you. It didn’t take you long to finish the last part of the drawing since you had the model right beside you. With a smile on your face, you announced you were done to which your friend’s eyes sparkled either from the reflection of the sun or from his excitement. “Okay! I’m going to count to three and we show each other our masterpieces,” your friend announced. “Masterpieces?” you questioned aloud, not knowing the meaning of the word.  “Yeah! As in works of art!” exclaimed your friend. “Oh okay,” you continued, not wanting to delay more the exposition of your drawing. Your friend continued “One, two, three!” Both of you flipped the paper over to show each other what you had created. From the look on your friend’s face he was very pleased by your drawing, and you could say the same for yourself as you looked at a beautiful sunset which was the background to what looked like a shadow silhouette on the floor. As the art expert he was at his young age, you friend started commenting first: “WOW! It’s so pretty! Who are they?” he asked intrigued. “You and me,” you answered, indicating who was who as if you were an artist explaining her work of art. At that, his boxy smile appeared which made you smile as well, being your favorite smile of his. “Why us?” he continued his interrogation. “Because we are best friends,” you said as a matter of fact. “We are?” he asked. “Young and wild and free,” you sang and both of you laughed, yet you continued, “Off course, Tae! You are my best friend in the whole world!” His smile only grew bigger if that was possible, and you smiled too, meaning every word. But, soon enough that smile was banished from your face as well as the memory once you almost got hit by a car. Being pushed back to reality, you realized you were almost home, so with the little energy you still had, you managed to run some more towards your front door. Opening the door with force, you threw your bag to the floor and sank yourself next to it in disbelief. You still couldn’t believe they were the same people who hurt you back then. Slowly, a tear made its way down your cheek, and soon enough you were whimpering on the floor, all alone.

* - * - * - * - *

Jimin was starting to worry. He had already finished his fourth set of dead lift and Y/N hadn’t come back. He wondered if perhaps she wasn’t feeling well or if she ran into someone she knew at the restroom. Yet, as he was glancing once again at the bathroom door, he saw her running at the speed of light. At first, he was confused, but as soon as he saw her running towards the main door, he started following her from behind. He was just in time to see her saying something to Jungkook, whose hand was on her wrist before letting her go. Jimin was perplexed as to what was going on. He stood there looking at Jungkook, who looked just as confused as he was. Even though Jimin didn’t like Jungkook very much (being a threat to him), he approached the other boy and turned his attention back to him. “What happened?” he asked Jungkook as if that question’s context would be understood by the other boy. Blinking several times, Jungkook only stared with his mouth agape as in trance. Jimin was growing impatient, so he asked differently: “Why did Y/N run like that?” Jungkook seemed to finally grasp reality, and he opened his mouth to answer, “She just said it was urgent.” Jimin felt his eyebrows knitting as he tried to decipher what that meant. Was Y/N in danger? Why would she flee like that? Did something happen to her or to someone close to her? A million questions popped in Jimin’s head as he tried to figure out what that sentence meant and why she hadn’t said anything to him before leaving. Reason made Jimin conclude that if it was an emergency she wouldn’t have time to explain to anyone. Jungkook just was in the perfect place to question her before she left. At last, he nodded to Jungkook in understanding and started walking back until he stood in front of the loaded bar once again. He took his phone and texted Y/N a simple You ok? He thought that if she were in a difficult situation, she wouldn’t want lots of questions directed her way, so he decided on just that. When she is prepared and available, she would answer him, and everything would be fine again. At least that was what he hoped for. He hoped that the question he texted her would be answered with a “we are ok” at the end.

* - * - * - * - *

Alone. That’s how Jin found you. What he didn’t know was that it was the way you were feeling as well. Besides the crashing memories that tormented you before his arrival, you were all alone. You didn’t know how much it took for Jin to come to you, but it surely felt like an eternity. It was enough time for your memories to complete another way around to your head. As you whimpered, you remembered: sitting now across from you, Taehyung was now the one explaining his drawing to you. It was a very artistic drawing for a kid of his age, you had to admit. As you inspected his drawing, he started pointing each element drawn and what it represented. You couldn’t deny your astonishment at hearing him go over the metaphors and symbols in his drawing, but what you anticipated the most was the explanation of the meaning of the silhouette shade. “What’s the shade?” you had asked, curious on the main point of his art piece. At that he had lowered his eyes in what seemed like a shy gesture and just when he was about to answer, he was interrupted by no other than Park Jimin. “It’s obviously me, am I right Tae?” Jimin stood over the two of you with an air of dominance. You looked at Tae waiting for his confirmation. Taehyung looked questioningly at his friend but agreed to his statement by nodding his head slowly. You couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed as you thought you were the silhouette. Your disappointment turned into a sour sadness as you started to wonder if the value of your friendship wasn’t reciprocated, and in fact you were the only one who considered him a best friend. As honest as children can be, you decided on expressing your feelings to Taehyung, so silently you whispered “Tae, am I your best friend?” You wanted the conversation to be kept between the two of you, but Jimin seemed to have heard it. Without giving Taehyung a chance to answer, he again interfered. “Off course not, Taehyung is MY best friend, so you know.” Jimin pulled his friend to his feet and hugged him sideways placing one of his arms on Tae’s shoulder. You couldn’t help the stung you felt at those words, but you still waited for Tae’s answer. It seemed your friend agreed with everything Jimin said, for he remained quiet and looked down at his shoes. Nodding your head slowly, you too stood up and managed a simple “Okay.” You’ve lost to Park Jimin, the least you could do was accept your defeat. Off course Jimin would be Taehyung’s best friend since who wouldn’t want to be considered the best friend of the most popular kid at school. Even though you were young, everyone liked Park Jimin either by his appearance or by what his parents could buy him, being toys a main motivation for kids to befriend someone. You’d thought Taehyung was like you, that neither of you cared for expensive toys but would rather find other ways to have fun, yet now you realized you were alone with that way of thinking.

You were about to leave when Jimin derisively added, “What? Did you think Taehyung was your friend?” Turning around to face Jimin and Taehyung again, you replied truthfully, “He is my friend.” A mocking laugh left Jimin’s lips as he eyed you with arrogance: “Why would he want to be your friend? You are ugly and fat, and you don’t have anything to offer.” Shocked by his remark, you looked at Jimin wondering if he was joking, but there was no humor in his eyes. There was something else going through his eyes which made you scared at some point. You would never know why he would be so cruel to you, but at that moment you assumed it had to do with you crossing the limits since you were “stealing” his friend. Being so focused on Jimin’s words, you hadn’t noticed other kids listening to your conversation, and while you tried to formulate a comeback, they started shouting: “Yeah! You’re ugly” “You’re fat” “Nobody likes you!” You looked at them surprised by their hurtful words, and then you looked at Taehyung, who still had his head down avoiding your stare. Lastly, with watery eyes, you looked up to see Park Jimin once again, and even though his expression had changed, you didn’t want to know the meaning of it. You ran away from the shouts and away from the silhouettes that would become your tormenting shade.

 When you felt two hands on your shoulders, you gasped either from the need of air or from the surprise. Looking over your shoulder, you saw Jin with a concered expression on his face as he looked at you. You tried to manage a smile, but your lips could probably only form a straight line. With caution, Jin helped you to your feet, but having been sat on both your legs, it took you some time to regain force to stand on your own. Jin helped you to your couch and sat beside you, waiting for you to speak. However, only gasps would come from your mouth as you tried to breathe through your crying. Tenderly, Jin guided your head to his shoulder, and you buried yourself in it as you cried harder this time. He stroked your head softly as a way to calm you down, and as it was so soothing, you managed to stop crying a few minutes later. “Are you feeling better?” he asked.

“No…” you sniffled, “all the memories are coming back.” You looked at Jin with pleading eyes, wanting nothing more than for the memories to go away along with the pain in your heart.

“I know it’s hard for you…and it became harder as you met him again, but you need to hold it in Y/N. Don’t lose yourself in the past,” he looked at you with the same pleading eyes as yours, knowing he was asking too much from you. And you had to admit he was.

“What if I’m already lost?” you looked at your folded hands in your lap, “What if I lost myself when that happened?”

Jin placed two fingers under your chin to make you look at him “Hey. You are not lost; do you hear me? I’ve known you for years Y/N, and if I had hang out with a lost person I would have noticed,” he smiled knowingly.

“Yeah, but you didn’t know me back then,” you said as you thought of everything you had to go through and wondered if the outcome of your life would have been different if that incident hadn’t happened.

“But I know you now,” Jin said sternly, “and I know you are an incredible person if not an exceptional friend. I know you don’t see the good in you but believe me when I say that everyone around you does.”

“Then…why does everyone leave me?” you asked brokenly.

You saw Jin’s expression stiffen, yet as he placed strand of your hair behind you ear, his eyes warmed as he said, “I’m here, aren’t I?” He placed his hands on your shoulders again as he looked you deeply in the eyes and said, “I won���t leave you.” Besides the fact that he was your best friend, the confidence in his eyes was so strong that you couldn’t help believing him, so you nodded your head to indicate him you knew. “You know how stubborn I can be, and I won’t accept losing my friend, do you hear me?”

“Yes, I do…Thanks, Jin,” you finally smiled, feeling a strike of hope rising inside of you. Jin hugged you strongly, and you did the same since you knew you weren’t alone. That you haven’t been or wouldn’t be as long as Jin was beside you.

* - * - * - * - *

You had classes at 4 but not feeling in the mood, you decided on staying home. Jin had classes as well, and even though he was reluctant on leaving you, you ushered him to go. You couldn’t be selfish with Jin, he had given you so much and you didn’t want to affect his normal lifestyle. So, you made him go. Now, you couldn’t care less about your academic life; you just wanted to stay, sleep, and forget everything that happened. But as much as you tried, your whirling mind wouldn’t let you sleep. That’s how you ended up staring at the ceiling on your bed, thinking. The pain was still prominent as another round of memories made its appearance on your head. You felt once again the rejection, the unjustified hatred, the loneliness. You wondered if Park Jimin knew what he did, what he had caused. It wasn’t just his comment that affected you, but the power he had over his classmates’ gullible minds. You grew up being laughed at, despised, and humiliated by everyone you met. Being called ugly and fat was part of your daily life. As everyone wanted to be on Jimin’s good side, they believed in his words and made sure you would never forget them. You remember your walk-through hell from kindergarten to 10th grade where Park Jimin’s presence represented your misery. After he left school at the end of 10th grade to study abroad, you were forgotten as no one had to be on his good side anymore. However, that didn’t mean they would accept you since you would forever be the cursed girl.

Being alone through your whole life and having no one to assure you it was all lies, you constructed yourself around what other people said: growing your bangs to cover your face, using bigger clothes to cover your figure, using hoodies to avoid stares, and wearing earphones to avoid the whispering. You stopped eating when you started 9th grade thinking it would make them stop calling you fat, and then by 10th grade you developed anorexia nervosa. It damaged you to a certain level to which your parents had to intervene, and for that you were thankful. What your parents didn’t know was the root to all your self-esteem problems: Park Jimin. Not wanting to worry them, you never told them what happened to you that day (or basically every day at school.) By the end of your 11th grade, you managed to overcome the eating disorder, yet you lied to everyone when you faked loving yourself. Understanding how unhealthy not eating can be, you took another approach which in everyone’s eyes was healthy: exercising. It was permitted, it didn’t break the rules, and it helped you heal. At last, that’s what you made yourself believe, but being confronted by your worst nightmare, you realized all your efforts were in vain. You felt small tears leaving your eyes and making a horizontal trail on your face. Each tear that left your eyes represented an emotion. First, you let sadness make its way out of your body. Then, frustration appeared at knowing you would never escape Jimin’s shadow. Finally, the last emotion in its liquid form came crashing with force on your mattress: anger. This one stayed until no more tears were formed.

A/N: Please give me feedback! I want to know what you think of this series.