#and over time we've started to maybe start to understand what is to be done

[alanshemper]

.

[beatrice-otter]

I’ll be honest, when one party’s aiding and abetting the genocide and the other’s outright gonna kill all my friends, I don’t really care if the fascists “win”. They’ve won already.

You know who would be delighted to hear that? Trump and Putin. The US far right and the Russian government have poured lots of time, effort, and money over the last decade+ into convincing US leftists and liberals that things are hopeless, there's no point in even trying to make things better, and the Democrats and Republicans are functionally interchangeable. They do this because one of the easiest ways for them to win is if the left gives up and stops trying. Every person on the left they can convince to give up in despair brings them closer to complete control. Defeatism on the left actively supports victory on the right.

I think your statement is wrong on a number of levels, both factual and emotional. It comes from not understanding what the actual options are for the US government and the President specifically, either at home or abroad. And it will allow actual fascism to flourish and make the world far worse than it is now.

On an emotional level, the way to address this is to stop doomscrolling. Stop focusing on the worst things happening in the world. Don't ignore them! but don't let them consume you. Start looking for the things that are going well. Find places in your community that you can get involved in making things better. Even if it's only on a small scale like volunteering in a soup kitchen or homeless shelter, it will help you realize that you aren't helpless, that there are things that can be done to make the world a better place. Stay informed about things on a local, national, and international level, but limit how much time and attention you give to things that depress you that you can't affect. Instead of sitting there thinking about all the ways the world sucks and how awful things are, look for things you can do that are productive, and then do them. You'll feel better and you will have made your corner of the world a little better. And you will be a lot less likely to unintentionally fall into the despair, nihilism, and passivity that the fascists want you to be consumed by.

Always remember that the worlds problems are not resting solely on your shoulders, or solely on America's shoulders, and neither is the hope of fixing them. Everyone has things that we can do to make the world a better place, but there are also things that are beyond our control. We can control what we do; we cannot control what others do. We can and should try to make the world a better place, but focusing on the things we can't change has no positive benefits. Focusing on things we can't change accomplishes two things: it makes you feel bad, and it stops you from doing the things you actually can do to make things better. Neither of these things is good for you or anyone else. Look for things you can do and do them. Keep informed on the things you can't change, but don't focus on them.

On a factual level, let's look at "aiding and abetting genocide," shall we?

First, it's important to remember that the US President is not the God-Emperor Of The World. The US government has limits to what it can and can't do in other countries, and both legally and practically. If the US wants to intervene in a problem in another country, there are a variety of things we can do that boil down to basically four categories. It's a lot more complex than this in practice, of course, but in general here are the categories of things we can do:

Send in the troops. Invade, either by ourselves or as part of a NATO or UN operation. (Or maybe just send in a CIA wetworks team to assassinate the head of state.) I hope you can see the moral problems with this option, and also, we've done this a shitton of times over the course of the 20th Century and pretty much every time we've done it, we've made an already awful situation worse. On a moral level, it's pretty bad, and on a practical level, it's worse. Sure, we could stop the immediate problem, but what then? Consider Afghanistan and Iraq. We got rid of Saddam Hussein and the Taliban, and everything went to shit, we spent twenty years occupying Afghanistan with pretty much nothing to show for it. (The Taliban is back in control of Afghanistan.) Things were worse when we left than when we arrived. So this option is pretty much off the table (or should be).

Diplomatic pressure. Now, the thing is, they're a sovereign nation, they don't have to listen to us if they don't want to. We have a lot of things we can leverage--including financial aid--but the only way to force them to do what we want is to invade and conquer, and that only works temporarily. Since we can't force, we have to persuade. This requires us to maintain our existing relationship with the country in question, and possibly strengthen it, because that relationship is what we're leveraging to try and influence them to do what we want them to do. If we do not maintain our relationship, they have no reason to listen to us.

Cut ties and go home. Break off any existing relationship and support, loudly proclaim that they're awful and doing awful things and we wash our hands of the whole situation. This keeps our own hands lily-white and pure, but it also means we have zero leverage to work on any kind of a diplomatic solution. They have no reason to listen to us or care about what we think. We can pat ourselves on the back for doing the right thing, but we destroy our own ability to influence anything. Not just now, but also in the future. Let's say the current crisis ends, and then ten years later there's another crisis. If we want to have any effect then, we would have to start from square one to start building a relationship. Cutting ties would be great for making Americans feel better about ourselves, and there are times when it's the only option, but it should be a last resort. If there is any hope of being able to influence things for the better this will destroy it at least temporarily.

Cut ties and impose sanctions. Break off any existing relationship and support, loudly proclaim that they're awful and doing awful things, but also use the might of the American economy to isolate and punish them. We've done this a lot over the 20th Century, too, and it has never actually resulted in the country in question buckling down and toeing the line we want them to. What happens is the sanctioned country has an economic shock (how long it lasts and how bad it gets depends on a lot of factors) and then pulls themselves back together economically, except this time they're more self-sufficient and less reliant on international trade and financial networks. They tell themselves that America is evil and the cause of all their problems, and so not only do they not listen to us, they actively hate us. And they have fewer international relationships, so fewer reasons to care about what the international community thinks about them. So they're most likely to double down on whatever it is they're doing that we don't like. This one is completely counterproductive and utterly stupid. It's great for making Americans feel better about ourselves, but if we actually care about being able to use our influence for good (or, at least, to mitigate evil) this option shoots us in the foot. It encourages other nations to do the very thing we're trying to stop them from doing.

So, with those four options in mind, both option one (invasion/assassination) and option four (sanctions) are off the table for being immoral and counterproductive. That leaves "breaking our relationship and going home" and "using diplomatic pressure" as our only two viable options.

Biden has chosen option two, diplomatic pressure. Yes, he and our government have continued financial support for Israel ... but with strings attached. They have put limits on it that have never been put on any US foreign aid before. They have taken legal steps to lay the groundwork to target Israeli settlers (i.e. Israeli citizens who confiscate Palestinian homes and businesses). We've been hearing reports for months that Benjamin Netanyahu (Israeli Prime Minister, and a far-right-wing demagogue) hates Biden's guts, because Biden is pressuring him to stop the genocide and work towards peace. Biden is maintaining the relationship, and he's using that relationship to try and influence things to curb the violence and pave the way for a just peace settlement of some sort. Biden has also mentioned the possibility of a two state solution where Palestine becomes its own completely separate country. That's huge, because up until this point the US position has always been that Israel is the only possible legitimate nation in that territory. If Biden stopped US support for Israel, it wouldn't force Israel to stop what it's doing ... but it would let them ignore us. It would remove any leverage or influence we might have.

Biden's hands aren't clean. But the only way for them to be clean would be to also give up any chance of influencing the situation or working to protect Palestinians now or in the future. Only time will tell if it works, but I personally would rather have someone who tried and failed than someone who didn't even try. You might disagree about whether this is the right course of action, and there's a lot of room for honest disagreement about the issue (there's a lot of nuances that I'm glossing over or ignoring). But please do acknowledge that Biden isn't supporting Israel because he supports genocide; he's doing it so that he can continue to maintain diplomatic pressure on Israel to stop the violence.

Which brings us back to "aiding and abetting genocide." Trump is not like Biden. Trump is good friends with Netanyahu and backs Israel to the hilt. Trump thinks that all Arabs are terrorists (and all Muslims are terrorists) and genuinely believes the world would be a better place with them dead. Biden is continuing to support Israel, but using that support as influence to get them to stop or slow down. Trump would be using that influence to encourage them.

And those are the two choices. Someone who is trying to curb the genocide, and someone who actively supports it.

I really hope you can see the significant and substantial difference between those two positions.

But let's say that you're right and Biden's policy towards Israel and Palestine is every bit as bad as Trump's would be. If there was nothing to choose between them on foreign policy grounds, there would still be a shitton to choose between them on domestic policy grounds. You admit that the right wants to kill your friends, and yet you don't seem to think that stopping them from killing your friends might be a good thing to do.

"We can't save Palestinians, so we might as well let Republicans destroy the rights, lives, and futures of LGBTQ+ people, women, people of color, people with disabilities, poor people, non-Christians, and anyone else they don't like." "We can't save Palestinians, so why bother to try to save the people we might actually be able to save." "We can't save Palestinians right now, so there's no point in trying to build up a longer-term political bloc that might drag US politics to the left over the long run."

Do you get why there's a problem with that line of thought?

[buckybabesonly]

as long as we're together (does it matter where we go?)

Summary: You don't want to be a burden to Bucky, knowing he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Pairing: Bucky x Female!OC

Genre: Angst

Length: 7.8k

Two years ago

“I don’t think I want to be with you anymore.”

Bucky had expected it. Weeks of you being distant, making secret phone calls, avoiding his touches like they physically hurt you. Countless times Bucky had asked, what's wrong?, only for you to shut him down and say that everything was fine. Bucky was sick of hearing that empty, meaningless mantra, but it didn’t mean that he reveled in your confession now.

Even though it didn't come as a surprise, it still felt like a punch to the gut. It physically winded him to hear those words leave your lips.

He wondered what he did wrong. He wondered where they went wrong. They were so in love, so wonderfully content in each other's company. You were his person. Steve had once told Bucky that he would find someone unexpectedly, when Bucky made an off-hand comment about how lucky he was to have met Peggy.

“You’ll find your Peggy.”

Things had been perfect. Or maybe Bucky had just been in denial, ignoring all the problems between you because he thought that his feelings for you triumphed over everything, no matter what hardships you may have been suffering from. How could he ever face the reality that you might actually leave in pursuit of something better?

Now, Bucky’s chest was tight with an indescribable feeling, both of you stood in your shared apartment. Your belongings stuffed into a black suitcase, Bucky’s heart in pieces on the hardwood floor.

He had expected it, but it didn't stop him from wanting to die.

"Why?" It was all he could ask. He wanted to know the reason, wanted to understand. Wanted to know if he could fix it. He was desperate to make you stay.

Bucky stared at your face. You looked so...indifferent. Unattached, in contrast to the woman he had met all those years ago. Where had the softness in your eyes gone? Why couldn’t you meet his pleading gaze, even now? At what point did your feelings for him start to fade, and was there anything he could have done to salvage it?

Your face was a blank slate, emotionless, and it made Bucky feel a truly troubling combination of sadness and anger. It was as if you had already said your goodbyes to their relationship, completely ready to move on whilst Bucky was still trying to process your words. You were ready to leave him behind to mourn.

“I don’t think we’re right for each other,” you had said quietly. “I don’t think we can give each other what we need.”

"Bullshit," Bucky said, his voice cracking. You grimaced ever so slightly at his tone, still unable to meet his eyes. "How can you say that?"

He took a step forward; you matched it with a retreating step, but with wide strides he seized your wrists. He silently willed you to say something which could somehow lessen the excruciating pain.

“Will you just look at me?”

He wanted so badly for you to meet his stare, to find some source of comfort within your eyes which usually held so much love for him.

Finally, you relented and lifted your head. They did not fill Bucky with any hope. You pressed your lips together firmly as he searched your face desperately for any sign of residual affection.

"We - we're in love. How can you say after all these years that we're not right for each other? For fuck's sake, will you just tell me what happened?"

"People change, Bucky," you said softly. The look on your face - was it sadness, or apathy? "We've become too distant."

"And whose fault is that?" Bucky released you then. He was so angry, wanting to elicit some sort of reaction from you, that he wanted to punch the wall beside them. It made him feel nauseous at how stoic you were now, like a piece of unyielding rock. He knew you hated it when he took his anger out physically. You had been the one to teach him how to manage his rage more constructively, to talk things out and use his words rather than his fists.

"Are you trying to say it's mine?" Your tone was sharp, finally demonstrating some emotion. "Are you saying that all those nights waiting for you to come back home, all those evenings alone whilst you stayed at the Tower, all those hours I spent staring at the four walls of this apartment were my fault?"

"You left me!" Bucky retorted, gritting his teeth. "You left me long before today! You think I haven't noticed? You can barely stand touching me. You're always on your phone, always texting, always out seeing your 'friends'," he said, making air quotes. "I asked Wanda, she said you haven't been meeting her or your other friends for weeks. Who's this 'friend’? Who the fuck is it that's so important that you can't spare any time for me, never mind your actual friends?"

A long, pregnant pause filled the air, an indecipherable mask on your face once more. Bucky’s eyes were wet, and if he hadn't been so angry, he would've seen the way your lower lip was trembling ever so slightly, the way it did whenever you were trying not to cry. It had been the biggest telltale sign for him over the years to know when you were upset and trying your best to hide it.

He was usually so good at reading you, but he was blinded with sadness.

"Fine," you said eventually, slicing the silence with a shaky exhale. "I'm seeing someone else."

You might as well have struck Bucky across the face.

Suspecting it and hearing the words fall from your lips were two different things. He physically reeled back in anguish as he stared at you. He took in the sight of his girlfriend in front of him, swallowing the lump that was forming in his throat. This was, without a doubt, the woman he had met five years ago. The woman he spent five years loving. The woman whom he recognized no longer.

"Why?" Bucky whispered, all the fight leaving his body. He physically seemed to sag, forehead creasing at all the other questions running through his mind, visions of you being touched and fucked by some faceless, nameless man.

You were almost pitiful in the way you looked at Bucky, and he hated it.

"I care for you, Bucky. But I’m not in love with you anymore. And I'm sorry I had to do this to you. Things just got out of control."

I’m not in love with you anymore.

You offered no further information, but he had stopped listening, anyway. The finality in your voice pierced him slowly, tortuously, through the heart. He barely moved when you took your suitcase and pulled it out behind you, out of their apartment. Out of his life.

The door slammed shut.

Present day

You are cordially invited to attend the wedding of Mercedes Knight & Samuel Wilson

Sam had become Bucky’s closest confidant in the past few years, and the latter had been a close witness as Sam met Mercedes ‘Misty’ Knight, a former NYPD officer who had somehow become roped into their crazy world. It was no surprise to Bucky when they announced their engagement just six months into dating.

Bucky found himself being pulled into their wedding planning discussions far too often. He tried to keep an amused smile at bay whilst listening into Misty and Sam’s wedding talk at the Tower. They were using one of the many conference rooms - a Knight-Wilson union was official business, Misty insisted.

"Are you bringing a date?" Misty asked suddenly in the middle of everything, the question directed at Bucky.

"Of course he's bringing a date," Sam smirked. "Heard things with Sharon are going well, right?"

Bucky smiled non-committedly, shrugging. "She's great." It didn’t go unnoticed by Sam that this didn’t quite answer his question.

"You two look good together," Misty offered. She glanced at her watch and widened her eyes theatrically, grabbing Sam’s hand. "Oh crap, we need to go meet with the wedding planner."

"But it feels like we just sat down," Sam complained.

"There's no rest for the bride and groom, Sam," Misty said, pulling her fiancé out of his seat as she waved goodbye at Bucky.

As soon as they departed, the smile on Bucky’s face dimmed. He was beyond happy for his two friends, he really was - but every couple he knew was a fresh reminder of his own failed love life.

Ever since you, he hadn't been in a long term relationship. Sharon is different, he told himself, and she was. They had been friends for a long time, and of course spent a lot of time together carrying out missions and the like. Over time, somehow, they had gotten closer, and one day Sharon had just asked him, “So when are you going to ask me out, Barnes?”

At that point, Bucky was still frequently thinking about you. Sharon had never met you before, but Bucky wouldn’t be surprised if she had heard stories about you from the others, since he had been notoriously affected by the breakup. Even though he was dealing with the aftershocks of the broken relationship, he was forcing himself to get past it.

They had been dating for two months now, and it only seemed right for Sharon to be his date at the wedding.

He had moved on. He was no longer the depressed, dark wreck he was when you left.

Sometimes it’s better to lie to yourself than to face the reality.

“You invited Bucky’s ex to the wedding?” Misty asked curiously.

“Uh, yeah. She’s not just his ex,” Sam explained gently. “She’s my friend too, and I haven’t seen her since she left town.”

"You told Bucky?"

"Nope," Sam snorted, shaking his head. "I can't. I don't think he'd turn up if I did. I want them both there on the day - I'm sure they can be civil for one night."

“I wonder how Bucky will react," his future wife pondered.

Sam shrugged. Not well, probably.

"What else can I do? I can’t not invite her, I really want her to be there. You never met her, so you don’t know, but she’s been through some shit.”

“I know, I know, you told me,” Misty said. “I just don’t want anyone to get hurt. Do you think she'll be okay seeing Bucky again? Especially if he'll be there with Sharon?"

"She said she can handle it. She would be happy to see that Bucky was happy. She was the one who practically begged me to encourage him to move on."

“Do you think he has?”

Sam paused, considering the question carefully.

“He has to.”

Several weeks later, Misty Knight and Sam Wilson were officially wed at the local registration office. The day was full of hugs, cacophonous laughter, friends and family, and Bucky watched with a wide beam on his face as he witnessed his friends glow. Those kinds of smiles were few and far between nowadays, but he was truly happy for once.

"They look so good together," Sharon murmured as hundreds of guests filled the hotel ballroom, the party commencing in full swing. The newlyweds were in the center of the room, Misty being twirled around wildly by a laughing Sam before his wife collapsed against his chest in fits of giggles, looking up into his eyes adoringly.

More and more people joined them on the dance floor after the conclusion of their official first dance.

"Barnes, would you like to dance?" Sharon asked suddenly with a smile, extending a hand.

Bucky chuckled, allowing her to take his hand and lead him out to the dance floor.

An hour passed, and Bucky had to truthfully say that he was enjoying himself, assisted by all the alcohol he had consumed. Sharon was draped all over him as they swayed to the music, and Bucky found himself appreciating the feel of her body against his all too much, the scent of her intoxicating. His hands felt the fabric of her silky, emerald green dress, buried his nose into Sharon's blonde hair, sighing softly as he tightened his grip on her waist.

Her perfume was strong and woodsy, like a forest. It irritated his nose ever so slightly. You had preferred a more subtle, floral perfume, one that smelt like sakura blossoms.

Sharon was more confident and seductive in the way she danced, whilst you used to always let yourself become putty in his arms, enjoying how he took the lead and managed to make you look like you knew how to dance despite your two left feet.

However, despite the differences, if Bucky closed his eyes and just tried a little harder, he think he could pretend that -

"Sorry to interrupt.”

Bucky pulled away from Sharon suddenly, and he turned to mock glare at Sam. "What do you want, Wilson?"

"Need to borrow you for a minute," Sam said, an undecipherable expression on his face. Bucky tried to see where Misty had disappeared off to, but saw no trace.

"Um, sure..." Bucky tried to read Sam’s face but gleaned nothing.

"I'll just go say hi to Natasha," Sharon said, giving Bucky’s forearm a squeeze before she disappeared.

Sam’s smile faded, and he caught Bucky’s arm in a vice grip. "I need to tell you something. Don't get mad, okay?"

"What?" Bucky scowled as Sam dragged him to the side of the room, weaving through the crowds of guests. "What good news starts with, ‘don’t get mad’? Are you gonna tell me you want to run out on Misty or something?" He joked.

Sam pulled him out through one of the open French doors which led to a pretty, outdoor stone balcony. He shut them behind him as Bucky continued to babble, a little tipsy from the champagne he'd had. "I gotta tell ya, if she asks me to kick your ass I will literally do so -”

"Bucky," Sam said, taking a deep breath. "She’s here." Meeting Bucky’s nonplussed eyes, your name rolled off Sam’s tongue in clarification.

He felt like the breath was sucked from his lungs as he stared back at Sam, who looked uncharacteristically anxious.

“What?" He asked hoarsely, instantly sobering up. “What do you mean?”

Chills were running through his body. The name he had avoided for years was suddenly causing him to feel breathless. How did you still have such an affect on him?

"She couldn't make it to the ceremony earlier today, but she just arrived."

"You - you invited her here? She’s here, now?"

"Yes," Sam replied, nodding. "I invited her.” He straightened up and crossed his arms over his chest almost defiantly.

Bucky was speechless for a moment, taking a step back and scoffing. He shook his head. “Do you remember what she did to me?”

“I'm sorry, Buck..."

Bucky suddenly laughed, startling Sam. His laugh was curt, humorless. "What are you sorry for? I'm over her, Sam. It was two years ago. I haven't seen her in two years. I don't care anymore," he said quickly. Too quickly.

"Listen -"

"Look, it's okay." Bucky raised his hands in small surrender. “You have the right to invite whoever you want. I’m not mad. But I just don’t want to be held accountable for whatever happens now.”

He turned and wrenched the French doors open with such force that the handle buckled slightly. The noise inside the ballroom spilled out to replace the painful silence on the balcony.

He disappeared inside before Sam could say anything else, and he tried to hide it, but Sam could clearly see that his hands were shaking as he marched inside.

For the next twenty minutes, Bucky found sanctuary in the restrooms. He stood inside the stall, trying to stop himself from mentally collapsing.

He didn’t know what was happening. He had never felt this overwhelming panic rush over him before, immobilizing him. Anger, sadness and yearning swirling inside a melting pot of emotions that was crippling him.

She was here. The woman he hadn't seen in two years, the woman who broke his heart, the woman who betrayed him, the woman who left him in tatters.

Your infidelity had had an unforeseen impact on him. When he first found out, he was devastated. Terrified of how you became someone he didn’t recognize - or had you always been someone capable of betraying him, just good at hiding it?

You had poisoned all the happy memories they had once shared. Bucky found himself recounting all the years you were together, micro-analyzing everything, wondering if there was a hidden lie behind it all.

That was one of the things which made him angriest. You turned all the beautiful years of your relationship into a lie. None of it was real, Bucky had told himself.

You crushed him.

Of his feelings, anger prevailed, slowly simmering to the surface, like a volcano about to erupt. How dare you walk back into his life like this? He would show you, Bucky thought with determination. He was over you. He had no reason to be angry, he thought bitterly, because you were nothing to him.

Just like Bucky was nothing to you.

When he emerged from the toilets, the first thing he did was find Sharon. She looked relieved to see him, although confusion was clear on her face as she eyed Bucky.

"Where have you been? Are you feeling okay?" She commented, brow furrowed with concern.

"I'm fine," Bucky assured her. "Have you seen Sam?"

Sharon pointed, puzzlement still painted across her face, and Bucky snapped round quickly.

And there you were.

It was as if you had never left. As if the past two years filled with Bucky trying to eradicate every memory and feeling he had for you had never happened, because as soon as Bucky’s eyes found you through the crowd, everything came collapsing back down on top of him like an avalanche. Suffocating.

You were still so beautiful, strikingly so. Like a burning beacon among the crowd, Bucky’s eyes found your face as easily as anything. For a second, he allowed himself to ignore anything except you, and how the sight of you still managed to take his breath away.

You looked thinner than he remembered, your face gaunt. Bucky frowned slightly at this acute observation and found himself wondering if you had been taking care of yourself.

"Barnes? You okay?"

Bucky registered Sharon shaking his arm, but his eyes remained fastened on yourself and Sam. Neither of you had spotted Bucky yet, who was rooted to the spot like a statue. Sam’s mouth was moving, words that Bucky couldn't hear escaping his mouth, but his expression was angry. Almost as if he was scolding you for something.

"I have to...I..." Bucky stumbled over his words, voice faint. He could feel those tendrils of anger slowly seizing him again, wisps at first, until they grew more and more potent by the second. He remembered every single thing he felt when you left him, and instead of trying to hold back the emotions, Bucky just saw red.

"Let me introduce you to someone," he said suddenly, his voice strained as he took Sharon's hand.

"You said you were better," Sam said, expression torn.

"I am," you lied, trying to put on a smile. Truth was, you were exhausted, just like how you always felt. The ballroom was so crowded and loud, and you just wanted to go back to the hotel and sleep, which you would the moment you finished congratulating Sam and Misty. And perhaps, even though you didn't want to admit it, you wanted to catch a glimpse of Bucky, too.

"Look at you, you're -"

“Sam, please don’t,” you interrupted gently. “Just drop it, please? It’s your big day, I don’t want you to worry about anything else.”

Sam opened his mouth to talk, but stopped suddenly, his eyes flitting to look behind you.

"Hey."

You froze. You knew that voice, of course. Heard it enough times, the deep, gravelly voice that had once whispered sweet pet names, proclamations of love, and plagued your dreams ever since you left him.

You had longed to hear his voice again, hear your name being spoken lovingly. His voice was your favorite sound in the world. Except tonight, hearing it for the first time in two years, you heard nothing but ice.

"Bucky?" You turned slowly, and your breath hitched. He was just the way you remembered him. Even more handsome, if possible. Clad in a sleek black tux, tall and dark and sexy, everything you had missed and dreamed of, and...

He was holding another woman’s hand.

"Bucky," Sam repeated, voice tense. Bucky could hear the underlying warning.

"It's been a while," he said stiffly, acting as neutral as he could. As if he hadn't spent months after their terrible break up being a shell of who he used to be, barely repaired even now. Bucky felt like any other venomous words from your mouth would shatter him again, but he had to take the chance. He had to talk to you, show you that he had moved on. He didn't care about you anymore, or how you so ruthlessly left him.

"Yes," you said weakly, smiling softly. God, he still thought that you looked beautiful, clad in a periwinkle blue dress, a thick coat draped around your shoulders. You were shivering, and Bucky resisted the urge to ask you what was wrong. Now that he was closer, he could see that didn’t look well at all. You had dark circles under your eyes and your collarbones were too prominent, your gaze devoid of any livelihood.

You glanced at Bucky’s fingers interlaced with a gorgeous blonde. You had seen her on the news before, you were pretty certain. Your smile forcibly stretched wider, blinking a few times, not knowing what to do with yourself.

"This is Sharon," Sam said, clearing his throat and exchanging introductions.

“It’s very nice to meet you,” Sharon said politely. She was gorgeous, you thought, watching as she sent Bucky a subtle, questioning glance.

Bucky was still staring at you, unmoving. You took the initiative first.

“Bucky, can we talk for a second?"

You could see the way he was trying to control himself by the way his lips stiffened, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. He gave a curt nod. He didn’t want to cause a scene in front of Sharon and the other hundreds of wedding guests.

“Let’s leave these two to catch up,” Sam said lightly, trying to hide his discomfort as he led Sharon away.

"So now you want to talk?" Bucky asked as soon as they were out of earshot, his voice sharp. You cringed, almost folding into yourself at Bucky’s hard stare.

"Yes," was all you managed to whisper, eyes darting to the ground to avoid meeting his glare. “Let’s go somewhere quieter.”

You turned and walked towards the exit of the ballroom, turning back to look at Bucky. He followed after a second, his jaw set like stone as you led the way to the empty lobby outside, away from the noise.

"It's been a while, Buck.” You voice was sad as you turned to face him again.

"Yes," he said, fighting an internal battle. He was so torn. Seeing you again made him want to wrap you up in his arms like he would've done two years ago, when you were still together. And feeling like that made Bucky angry. What right did you have to make him feel this way? Who gave you the right to mess with Bucky’s heart again after so long?

"How have you been?" You asked eventually after a painfully awkward silence.

He scoffed at that. "How have I been?" He repeated incredulously. He doubted you really wanted to hear about all those nights he spent in his apartment, refusing to talk to his friends, being a complete social introvert (more than he usually was) because he felt like he just couldn't live anymore. Not without you.

"Great. Fantastic," he said without a shred of sincerity.

You stared at him for the longest time, your lips pressed into a thin line. You looked so regretful that it made Bucky feel uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry," you said eventually, your voice wavering like you were struggling to breathe properly. "I'm so sorry for leaving you like that. We...we could have ended things better. You didn't deserve how I treated you."

You flinched when Bucky scoffed derisively. He dropped any remaining restraints he had previously put in place, letting all his feelings run free.

"Are you kidding me? Why? Why are you coming back here and apologizing after all this time?" He felt like he wanted to tear his hair out in frustration as he stared at you, making sure to keep his distance lest he found himself wanting to pull you closer. God, it was all so confusing. He despised you, and yet seeing you here in the flesh was everything he had ever wanted in the last few years.

He hated how you were making him feel.

"Look, it doesn't matter anymore. What's done is done," he spat through gritted teeth, all the while completely unaware of how your heart clenched painfully at Bucky’s scornful eyes. “Do you have any idea how unfair this is? You fucked up big time, disappeared off the face of the earth, then come back standing in front of me now asking how I am?”

“I know. You’re right, about everything. I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry.”

“No. You have no right to do this,” Bucky seethed. “You have no right to come back here and try to - what, settle your guilt? Make amends?”

You didn’t say anything, choosing to let him vent instead.

“I still remember the way you left. What you did. I will never forgive you for that. So don’t you dare stand in front of me today with all this bullshit and expect me to have something nice to say.”

"You really hate me, don't you?" You asked then, taking Bucky off guard. You lifted your head properly to stare at him, and the look in your eyes was unsettling.

"I hate you," Bucky confirmed unwaveringly, his voice hard. "I hate what you did to me and by extension, you."

You didn't respond. You bit your lower lip hard, trying desperately not to cry in front of him. Your heart hurt so much.

It was the worst feeling in the world, maybe, seeing the man you loved so dearly tell you that he hated you. It was excruciating, the clenching inside your chest as Bucky’s words rang in your head.

"I know my apologies will never be enough. I just wanted to see if you're happy now," you whispered.

"I'm happy," Bucky replied almost immediately. "I'm happy with Sharon. Does that bother you? Did you hope that I'd still be pining after you? I'm not that pathetic anymore." The barriers were broken, and the hurtful words were falling from Bucky’s mouth, two years worth of it.

“I never said you were pathetic,” you retorted, slightly indignant. “I’m glad that you’re happy.”

Bucky was breathing hard, unconvinced by your words.

“And how's the man you left me for?"

"He...it didn't work out," you shrugged, trying to keep your face as straight as possible.

"Good," Bucky said harshly. "Because you don't deserve happiness." If he wasn't so mad, he wouldn't say such irrational things. But he just wanted you to hurt. He wanted you to feel all the pain you caused.

Bucky pretended he didn't hear you gasp. He pretended that he didn't see your eyes gloss over at the sheer amount of hate in his voice.

"Okay," you said finally, your voice clearly shaking. "Okay," you repeated again, nodding your head. Bucky watched you take a step back, away from him.

“I -”

“I'm sorry, Bucky. Please take care," you interrupted, smiling sadly before you turned and walked away as quickly as possible.

That was not how you envisioned the reunion to go. All you wanted was to apologize, know that he was happy, so that you could go in peace.

But maybe that was the consequence of your decision. Maybe he was just always going to hate you for the rest of his life and remember you as someone awful.

You didn’t know that all Bucky wanted to do was run after you. Tell you to stop. He wanted to apologize and tell you how he didn’t mean a word of what he just said.

Rage and pride kept him shackled, and he watched your retreating back, feeling like a coward.

The last thing Bucky expected when he opened his apartment door a few days later was Sam’s dirty glare.

"You can be a mean son of a bitch, do you know that?”

"Hello to you too,” Bucky retorted.

“Why did you say all that stuff to her?” Sam asked, pushing his way past Bucky.

Bucky closed the door, knowing exactly who he was referring to.

"Why is this any of your business?"

"You acted like a dick!" Sam said furiously.

“Look, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done something like that on your special day. But-”

“I want you to feel sorry to her.”

"She left me,” Bucky exclaimed. "You were there, Sam, you saw how fucked up she made me. She cheated on me! You want me to apologize to her?” His face was incredulous.

“You’re so fucking frustrating.”

“Oh, excuse me for not being the bigger person,” Bucky sneered. “But you don’t know how she made me feel, Sam, so don’t you dare try to give me a fucking lecture now.”

Sam was quiet for the longest time, looking exasperated. He stared up at the ceiling, sighing.

“Bucky, look man. She never cheated on you,” Sam said finally, an apologetic look in his eyes.

The apartment became filled with nothing but the sounds of Bucky’s heavy breathing.

“What are you talking about?” He spat, realizing now that Sam knew something he didn’t.

Sam let out a resigned sigh, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I promised her I wouldn’t tell you. But fuck it, man, cause I think this is messed up. She’s sick, Bucky," he said solemnly. "Like, really sick."

Two years ago

"It's cancer, Sam."

You physically couldn't cry anymore. You had done enough of that the day the doctor had told you, your eyes puffy and swollen. Funnily enough, the first person you had sought out wasn’t your boyfriend, but rather his best friend.

Bucky wasn’t even in town that weekend, and you really didn’t want to tell him over the phone. In fact, you never wanted to tell him. How do you tell the man you love that you're dying?

"You can get treatment, right?" Sam asked.

"I don't know. It’s not looking good. They're doing some sort of new clinical trial in England, but even that’s a long shot. I - I’m going to try, though.”

Sam sat up straighter. “And Bucky?”

"You can't tell him," you said firmly. You had thought about it all night, and you knew you couldn't let him know. You didn't want to put him through something like this. "My father had cancer too, Sam," you said softly. "He died in so much pain, he had so much treatment but it didn't help. He was throwing up all the time, having fevers, his body was so weak, and by the end he wasn’t the same anymore. I don't want him to see me like that."

“But-”

“No buts,” you said. You had given it enough thought already. You knew that you would have to be very, very lucky to make it through this - the end was essentially inevitable. There was no way you would make Bucky bear witness to you succumbing to this illness the same way you had to watch your father.

It was the worst time of your life. You had told Bucky about it in the past, as he had never had a chance to meet your father since he passed away years before you met Bucky. Knowing what you did, you would never inflict that same experience on him.

"So what are you going to do?"

"I have to leave him.” You had been preparing yourself for what you needed to do all night. "If I go, there's a chance I might not come back, you understand that, right?"

"Don't say things like that," Sam said forcefully, clenching your hand. "Just stop. Bucky will support you all the way, you know that!"

"That’s exactly why I have to go by myself. I can't be selfish, Sam. I want him to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted. I can’t make him drop everything to make me his number one priority. Looking after me will take time and constant care. If I go to England, he will abandon everything and come. Manhattan is his home.”

Sam looked anguished and you knew that he was disagreeing with everything you had just said, but you plowed on.

"It’s not just a matter of time and effort. If he stays, he will watch me die, and I don’t want him to do that.” You began to cry, and Sam hugged you, wishing he could say something comforting.

“It’s okay," you said through the tears, even though every fiber in your body was telling you the opposite. You had been repeating these words to yourself all night, as if you would believe it if you said it enough times. "It’ll be okay."

Maybe you were being stupid, but you didn't care. You knew Bucky loved you with his body and soul, as did you. But you weren’t going to let him suffer over your illness. You wouldn't let the person you cared most about in the world see you slowly deteriorate.

You had been witness to how your father was clearly in a depressive state, and yet tried his hardest to pretend to be happy and fine around other people. You didn’t know if you had the strength or bravery to even pretend.

You began distancing yourself. Stopped trying to make conversation with Bucky, until the long, endless, random talks you used to share diminished into curt sentences. You stopped waiting for Bucky to come home, simply pretending that you didn't care. You became more secretive, furtively hiding your calls with your doctor and your mother.

There was no other man. You loved him and only him, and had been nothing but faithful. You didn't know what hurt more: having to lie to Bucky or the fact that he so easily believed you would betray him like that.

In the end, you had really regretted fabricating a story of infidelity. You should have just gone your separate ways without making him think that you had been unfaithful. But at that time, you wanted to find a quick solution that would make Bucky voluntarily detach himself from you. It seemed like a wise decision, but you really, really wish you hadn’t let him believe that you didn’t love him. It was truly the worst feeling in the world.

It was all over in a few weeks. You packed your things and left, trying not to cry with every heavy step you took towards the door of your apartment. You knew you were making the best decision for them both, surely.

Time would heal Bucky, and he would be happy again one day.

It just couldn’t be with you.

Present day

"She just didn’t want to feel like a burden to you, man," Sam said, shaking his head. "Why did you have to say all those things to her at the wedding?"

Bucky could register nothing else after Sam finished explaining everything. He was in disbelief, though he knew that there was no way Sam would fabricate a story like that.

Now, he could only think of the way he had shouted at you. The way he told you how much he hated you. The way you had left.

"Where is she?" Bucky whispered.

"She’s leaving today," Sam said tersely. "She’s going back to England. She was real sick for a long time, and she recovered a few months ago, but the cancer came back.”

He slipped a hotel business card into Bucky’s hand. “This is the address she’s staying at," Sam said.

He grasped it like a lifeline, eyes unable to see Sam standing in front of him. His vision was completely filled with images of you.

"Go," Sam said forcefully. "Go and find her.”

The tears wouldn't stop falling.

You didn't know words could hurt so much. Sure, you had expected Bucky to hate you, but you weren’t prepared for the way every single word seemed to embed themselves into your skin like splinters into your heart.

They were once so happy. They were so perfect.

You hated yourself. Hated yourself for getting ill, for ruining what you had. The logic was irrational, but the self-hatred had become second nature.

You had spent the last few days holed up in your hotel. You had planned to use the time to see a few friends before returning to England, but you no longer had the heart.

You left your room that morning only because Wanda was furious that she missed you at the wedding, and you agreed to have coffee with her. She almost cried at the sight of you, but you put on a brave face, refusing to talk about Bucky. You begged her if you could just talk about happy topics and she eventually obliged, smiling sadly when you hugged each other goodbye.

“I’ll see you again, dear,” Wanda had said, and you hoped to God she was right.

As soon as you got inside your hotel room, you felt a switch click internally.

Everything hurt. You were tired, unhappy and you really didn’t know if you would ever make it out of this emotional blackhole. You felt so weak, like you would keel over at any given moment.

Cancer really was a bitch.

You kicked off your shoes and entered the bathroom. You lay down in the bathtub, fully clothed, turning the cold water on until you were almost completely submerged, wanting to numb all the pain inside your body and mind.

You eyes were red and swollen, and you couldn't remember crying so much since that day the doctor diagnosed you. Why was life so unfair? You wanted your old life back again. The life where Bucky didn't detest you, the one where he was happily and wonderfully in love with you.

You lay back, letting the water cover you completely. You closed your eyes, your hair gently swirling around your face. You opened your mouth and screamed, bubbles erupting to the surface.

Eventually you emerged, gasping and coughing, your tears hot in contrast to your frozen face. Your body wracked with sobs, shaking uncontrollably.

You sank back down into the water, your mouth opening once more to scream in uncontrollable rage. It was cathartic, your fists clenched into balls as you willed the feelings inside you to just - disappear.

When you opened your eyes beneath the water, you nearly gasped at the sight of a blurry, warped figure above you. You didn't have time to do anything when arms were suddenly encasing themselves around you, lifting you to the surface.

You spluttered and coughed, your ears assaulted by the voice that once whispered sweet nothings in your ear.

"- the fuck are you doing? Are you okay?"

Bucky.

You blinked past the water in your eyes, bewildered at the sight of him, kneeling beside the bathtub with his hands gripping your shoulders. His bright blue eyes were scared, wide open with concern.

You were startled at his sudden appearance, unable to say anything as he scooped you out, lifting you with ease. You were clearly in shock and scared.

You collapsed against him as he sat down on the bathroom floor with you in his arms.

"What were you doing?” Bucky was appalled as he pulled you close to him, watching how you continued to weep, blinking blearily at him. Your body was ice cold, every inch of you soaked.

He whipped a towel down from the railing beside you, wrapping it around your body as you shivered uncontrollably.

"Bu - Bucky?" You asked, as if you couldn't fathom why he was here. You were almost convinced you were hallucinating.

"Fuck, we need to get you out of these clothes," Bucky said, gritting his teeth as he tried not to cry. He had so much to say to you. He wanted you to know how sorry he was, how he didn't mean anything he said, but now wasn’t the time. He had to be strong for you.

You felt like a baby as Bucky removed your soaking wet garments until you were naked, then immediately swaddled you with more towels. He picked you up completely off the floor and took you out of the bathroom.

He chose to place you down on the edge of the bed, positioning himself to kneel down in front of you.

"Bucky," you whispered, voice thick, trying to pull away from him. “I think you should just leave me alone."

He stiffened. It scared him to hear you talk like this, to see you look at Bucky with such defeat in your eyes.

“No,” he said resolutely. “I'm here now, okay? I'm here, I'm not leaving, and I need you to be with me. I need you here, talking to me.”

"I can't. I can't do this anymore. Just go, please."

Bucky looked at you then. Really looked at you. The woman he loved and misunderstood for so long was now a trembling wreck in front of him, skin paper thin and trembling like a leaf. You looked so vulnerable and sad, and it made his heart twist.

Bucky suddenly held you tight against his chest, tucking his nose against the crook of your neck, and you didn't resist.

"Do you have any idea how much I hate myself? I hate myself for letting you go through this alone. I hate myself for telling you all those lies that night. I love you, I love you, I love you," Bucky said, wishing that you would see it.

“Don’t.”

“I wish you had told me. I would have helped you. You should have told me. I can’t believe you -”

You realized now that Sam must've told him the truth, and you sighed softly.

"I'm not good for you, Bucky," you whispered. "I will only ever hurt you, put you through more pain."

"I know everything now," Bucky said firmly. "No matter what happens, I will gladly endure it as long as it means we're no longer apart."

“Don’t be so stupid,” you said, anger tearing through your voice, though the tears were still falling. “I’m broken, Buck. I can’t give you a future. Please just find someone else - stay with Sharon.”

“Sharon?” If you hadn’t mentioned her name, Bucky would never have even thought about her. “No - we’re not serious, doll. She was never going to be the one.”

“No,” you insisted. “If not her, then fine, find someone else. Just not me.”

“Why aren’t you listening?” Bucky asked furiously. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. Please don’t do this. I need you." He was desperate to make you see, to make you understand. It was you or nothing. "You don’t know how awful the past few years have been. I don’t want to be apart from you, please.” He was prepared to grovel at your feet and beg.

He hated himself for how easily he gave up two years ago. This time, he was not letting you leave him.

His beautiful blue eyes pleaded with you, and you felt your barricades crumble. Your arms finally moved to wrap around him, and he felt a wave of relief as he encircled you in his arms. You had missed this, the feeling of Bucky holding you so tenderly.

You didn’t know if you were making the right choice, but you wanted to give in so badly and just let yourself be selfish and enjoy what time you could have together. And now that Bucky had you back by his side, he was definitely not going to let you go.

Even if they were in pieces, at least they were together. And Bucky was positive that they could put those pieces back into a whole, as long as you gave it a chance.

"You're so stupid," you said through your tears.

"I don't think so," Bucky said, managing the smallest smile. "Just stupidly in love with you."

You wanted to stay like this forever, entangled in each others arms. He pulled back slowly to study your face, and leaned in to press a gentle kiss against your lips. He kissed you again, deeper this time, breathing you in.

“You owe me two years of kisses,” he mumbled.

You laughed softly, but it soon died. First, you had a lot of talking to do. You used the following hour to tell him the details about your illness, why you had left, how sorry you were for treating Bucky the way you did when you broke up with him.

"You're so dumb," Bucky had said, sounding furious for a moment. "You had no right to decide something like that for me. You know I would support you.”

"I know, Buck," you had interrupted. "That's exactly why I had to leave. I didn't want you to see me die, okay?"

You had looked like you were about to cry again, so Bucky stopped scolding you immediately. He would never make you cry again, he swore.

"You're here now," he said, kissing your temple. "We're together now. Everything feels...right again."

You swallowed, biting your lip. "I told you, my cancer is back and -"

"You'll get better again," he said, refusing to look at you. You knew that tears were in his eyes. "You'll get better, okay?" His voice wavered slightly.

"It's worse this time, Bucky," you said. "Look at me. I'm practically withering away."

"You'll get better," he said, clenching his teeth.

You didn't say anything, just nestled against Bucky’s chest, relishing the way he wrapped his arms securely around your frame as if you would disappear at any moment.

Maybe he was right. Maybe by some miracle, with Bucky by your side, you would be able to give him all the time in the world.

"I'll try to stick around," you whispered.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Malleus Draconia - Tsumsitter Vignette

"A Moment with Malleustsum I"

[Main Street]

Malleus: Hmph… I have a suggestion. It came to me while I was on a stroll.

Malleus: If you are unable to join the other tsums, then I shall extend an invite to you instead.

Malleus: Tsum, come to the party that I will be hosting.

Malleus: It will be a grand party, and all Diasomnian students will be in attendance. You will attend, won't you?

[happy tsum noises]

[Diasomnia Dorm – Lounge]

Malleus: Now, Tsum. We've returned to Diasomnia.

Malleus: We must prepare for the party posthaste. Sebek, could I request you to prepare the venue?

Sebek: Please leave it to me! As your faithful servant, I will put my all into decorating our lounge!

Sebek: Your Tsumness, I will not be long!

Lilia: Lucky little tsum, hm?

Malleus: I shall also prepare for the party. I must fulfill my duties as the host.

Malleus: Tsum, this is a party in your honor. You should allow yourself to relax until it starts.

[Malleus leaves, the tsum looks content]

Lilia: Okay then, maybe I'll show off a bit of my cooking prowess for the tsum.

Silver: IF THERE ARE TASKS TO BE DONE IN THE KITCHEN, I WILL DO THEM!

Lilia: Oh hey, it's Silver and Silver-tsum. I see you're finally back from the forest.

Silver: Did you see me out there? If only I could have been awakened…

Lilia: Don't try to give this old man too hard of a task…

Silver: I heard we are to be throwing a party for Malleus-sama's tsum… But where have they gone?

Lilia: Malleus went off to prepare for the party. And the tsum should be…

[the tsum is nowhere to be found[

Lilia: …It's not here.

Silver: …?

[Diasomnia Dorm – Hallway]

Malleus: Now, then. Next, I'll bring the plates.

Diasomnia Student A: A-Ah, sir! Please let us do this for you! This isn't anything worth you to worry yourself over, Malleus-sama!

Malleus: I do not mind whatsoever. The magic necessary to carry plates and candlesticks is mere child's play to someone of my caliber.

[loud crashing sound]

Malleus: …? What was that noise just now?

Diasomnia Student A: Was it an explosion of some sort…?

Diasomnia Student B: ACK! THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION IN THE MICROWAVE!! WE NEED SOME EXTINGUISHING MAGIC, STAT!

[magic extinguishes the fire]

Malleus: Whatever is the matter?

Diasomnia Student C: Th-that is…

[tsum hops in distress]

Malleus: Tsum? This couldn't possibly be your doing, is it?

"A Moment with Malleustsum II"

[Diasomnia Dorm – Hallway]

Diasomnia Student C: My sincerest apologies! I tried to stop it, since the microwave is old and a danger to use…

Diasomnia Student B: But we failed… We were not capable of stopping your great tsum.

Malleus: I see. So as a result of the tsum activating it, there was an explosion…

Malleus: Although, why are you in the kitchen in the first place? I believe I told you to rest yourself, Tsum.

[tsum looks sad]

Malleus: Why the long face…? Ah, I think I understand now.

Malleus: Tsum, were you hoping to assist with the party preparations?

[tsum nods solemnly]

Diasomnia Student B: Oh, I see…! It must have tried to help after hearing us talk about needing to heat up some food.

Malleus: However, can you truly not use appliances to this degree, Tsum? Even I do not have as difficult a time as this.

Malleus: Heh, I made sure to read through the appliance instruction manual and therefore was able to obtain a good understanding of the features and buttons.

Malleus: After that, I only needed to be conscious of the amount of strength needed, and now I am able to use it without issue.

Diasomnia Student C: You had to… control your strength?

Malleus: Does that pique your interest? Just as well, I will show you what I mean just now.

[Malleus magicks the machine fixed]

Diasomnia Student B: Amazing, Malleus-sama! Only you would be so capable of fixing an exploded microwave with magic to like-new quality in an instant!

Malleus: First, it's imperative to know that a microwave oven is not the optimum device for heating eggs or dehydrated foods.

Malleus: Essentially, there is a risk of explosion or fire. Review the manual, you will see as such.

Malleus: Now, when it comes to its usage…

Malleus: Finally, close the door… And press the "Start" button.

[the microwave runs, beeps when finished]

Malleus: And see now how it has finished warming the dish.  Do you understand?

[a dish is taken out of the microwave]

Malleus: The dish has been successfully warmed up. I'm sure you will cause no more explosions in the microwave oven anymore.

Malleus: …

Malleus: Right, you as a tsum cannot use magic. Then it would behoove you to learn basic appliance functionalities.

Malleus: This is a good opportunity for you. I shall explain how to use other home appliances as well. Follow me, Tsum.

Malleus: This is a washing machine. Open the lid and insert the clothes you wish to wash. Watch your strength when opening the lid or the water valve.

Malleus: Press the start button, and a little time after the basin starts spinning, there will be an indication as to how much water will be used.

[thump, thump...]

[the tsum watches, but falls off the machine]

Malleus: Add detergent and fabric softener relative to the amount of water, and close the lid. Now it should start to spin even more.

[thump, thump, thump...]

Malleus: Good, it is working without issues. Have you grasped how to use it, Tsum? …Where did it go? It should have been sitting right here on top of the washing machine…

Malleus: It wouldn't have fallen inside… Would it?

Malleus: What is the proper procedure to open the lid mid-wash…? I have no time to be reviewing the manual. I must open the lid immediately…

[crack, snap!]

Malleus: Tsum? It doesn't seem as though it's inside. If it hasn't fallen inside the machine, then…

[tsum shakes from behind the machine]

Malleus: Ah, I see, you fell between the machine and the wall. I'll fetch you from there now.

[Lilia appears with magic]

Lilia: If you press the pause button once, the lock on the lid will release. Don't break the lid by force next time, Malleus.

Malleus: Ah, yes, I do believe the description said something of that sort. It would do me well to read the instruction manual once more.

Lilia: Kufufu, I guess the lid to the washing machine is just as brittle as a cookie to someone like you.

[Lilia magicks the washing machine fixed]

Lilia: Okay, now that the washing machine is all fixed up… Malleus, Tsum, time to head towards the lounge.

Malleus: Oh, are the preparations for the party complete? Our students do work diligently.

Lilia: Kufufu, it's all because you asked for it. Come on, don't dawdle. Everyone's waiting for you.

Malleus: Heh, I see. We should hurry and join them, Tsum.

"A Moment with Malleustsum III"

[Diasomnia Dorm – Hallway]

Malleus: The party venue is just beyond these doors.

Malleus: Before we enter… Tsum, I'd like to bestow this upon you.

Malleus: This is a pin signifying your status as the guest of honor. You must have this on you to join the revelries.

Lilia: Kufufu, what a refined gesture.

Malleus: Hmph. This should be the norm when inviting a guest. Come now, the venue awaits.

[Diasomnia Dorm – Lounge]

[the students of Diasomnia populate the party]

Sebek: Ah! Your Tsumness! This way, please!

Malleus: Sebek, and Silver, thank you for your hard work. The decorations and dishes look sublime.

Sebek: Thank you very much! I prepared all of the wall decorations!

Silver: I assisted the students who had been charged with preparing the food.

Malleus: Right. And the spread looks divine. You should all eat as much as you wish.

Malleus: Now, let the party commence. Everyone, allow me to once again introduce to you, this party's guest of honor… This Tsum!

Diasomnia Student A: Tsum-sama, we've come to give our greetings. Aah, you have such a dignified look about you…!

Diasomnia Student B: Ah, oh, Tsum-sama…!! Could I be so bold to request your hand for this dance!?

Diasomnia Student C: Hey, I was trying to find a chance to ask that too! Tsum-sama, please dance with me as well…!

[tsum is pleased]

Lilia: Ohoo～ You're pretty popular, Tsum!

Sebek: There's no way I'd allow them to steal it away! YOUR TSUMNESS! PLEASE DANCE WITH ME!

Silver: Weren't you just bragging to me earlier nonstop that you had been blessed with a dance with it already, Sebek?

[tsum runs to Malleus]

Malleus: Oh, you wish to dance with me, Tsum?

[tsum nods]

Malleus: I see, so this would be a collaboration between the guest of honor and the host. In that case, it would be rude of me to decline.

Sebek: Ohh… My liege will dance with his lookalike tsum! This is a spectacular sight…!

Silver: A dance for the two of them, hm… We need to prepare the perfect song.

Lilia: Sounds like a job for me! I'll get everyone whipped up into the heat of things!

Lilia: Silver, Sebek! I need you to set up an impromptu band! Can you play the guitar and drums?

Silver: N-No… I can only make random sounds.

Sebek: Similarly, I can only strike a drum without any proper rhythm.

Lilia: That's good enough! LET'S GOOO～!!

Malleus: Take my hand, Tsum. I shall lead our dance.

[sounds of revelry in the Diasomnian dorm, as Malleus and the tsum dance]

Malleus: I found you, Tsum. I see you found your way to the far edge of the lounge after dancing with the dorm students one after the other.

Malleus: I'm sure I have no need to ask this of you based on how satisfied you look…

Malleus: But would you say you've crafted good memories at today's party?

[the tsum happily hops]

Malleus: Heh, you seem to be in high spirits. It was absolutely the right choice to invite you to this party.

Requested by @sakurakudo.

[evie-sturns]

Please - Matt Sturniolo

summary: you've never been interested in sex, not until you met your boyfriend matt. when you ask him to take your virginity he obviously gives you what you ask for.

contains: virgin!reader, gentle!matt, virginity loss, fluff, smut, aftercare, fingering.

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i'm a virgin, it's not like i have a real reason for it, but i've never found a guy i could trust.

matt and i have been dating for 2 months and we've done just about everything, execpt for hooking up. matt's never pushed me to do anything which i appreciate. but now that i've got to know matt i've been craving him, his touch.

7:29pm

i cuddle close to matt's side in bed as i stare at his phone, i watch him scroll through tiktok aimlessly.

i look up at matts side profile, a light stubble spread across his jaw. his blue eyes are locked on his screen.

i move my leg over matt's, shifting closer to him so my crotch is pressed against the side of his leg.

i sigh lightly, closing my eyes as i feel a heat grow between my thighs.

it's the way matt's lips are red, almost begging to be kissed that turns me on.

i don't even realise it, but i'm pathetically rubbing my clit against his leg.

"you okay sweetheart?" matt whispers from above me,

"what-? no i'm fine." i play it off,

matt places his phone down before shifting up, his back resting against the headboard.

matt grabs me under my arms and drags me up onto his lap, i straddle him and look down at him

matt just stares into my eyes like hes waiting for me to say something.

"matt.." i mutter, fidgeting with the ties of his sweatpants.

he looks at my lips, nodding understandably.

"i think that i want you to touch me, i- i need you." i say softly,

matt rubs his eyes, hes clearly flustered.

"what?" he says with a small laugh.

"matt don't make me say it again." i sigh, reaching my hands up and covering my face.

"tell me what you want and i'll give it to you y/n." matt says, grabbing my wrists and tugging them away from my pink face.

i hesitate for a second before speaking

"i want you to fuck me matt." i spit out, matt smiles lightly

"i can definitely do that for you," matt speaks, earning a playful slap from me.

matt reaches for the hem of my shirt, tugging it lightly. i grab his hand to stop him for a second.

"matt- i'm a virgin." i whisper, matt's eyes widen

"thats okay! thats perfectly fine." matt nods, making me feel better. "are you sure you want to do this? we don't have to if you're not ready."

"i don't really know what i'm doing." i mumble, matt nods before grabbing my chin, making me look at him.

i adjust myself on matt's lap to make myself comfortable.

"do you ever.. touch yourself?" matt asks quietly,

"um- i don't know." i reply shyly.

"you don't know?" he teases, earning a small giggle from me.

"yes- yeah i do, shut up-" i laugh, "how often?" matt asks

"every week or so- maybe." i whisper, matt nods before sitting up off the headboard.

he stands up, holding me up by my ass as he starts to mark up my neck with hickeys. matt lays me down on the matress and takes a step back. he reaches out his cold hand to the waistband of my sweat-shorts.

"can i take these off pretty girl?" he asks softly, i nod frantically "yeah- yes."

he slowly slides my shorts down my thighs, keeping a straight face the whole time.

he chucks them to the side of the room, i dont waste time to tug off my shirt aswell,

leaving me in my matching white lace bra and panties on the bed under matt, suddenly the realisation hits that this is actually happening. i shoot up into a seated position quickly,

"hey- you okay?" matt laughs slightly,

"matt" my voice wobbles, concern washes over his face.

"whats going baby-?" he speaks with worry laced in his voice

"im scared." i whisper out, he sits down on the bed next to me, "what if it hurts- and i'm not gonna be good at this matt- i don't know what to do well" i ramble out

"you don't have to be good, you dont have to do anything, you can just lay back and i'll talk you through it, would you like that?" matts voice is gentle,

"and it won't hurt, i promise."

i nod with a shaky sigh, he grabs my jaw and presses his lips against mine.

"right- so what's going to happen is i'm going to stretch 'ya out a little first is that okay?" matts tone is more gentle and understanding now.

"okay." i mumble, laying back on the matress as my legs dangle off the edge of the bed.

matt kneels between my legs, he gently pulls my panties down my legs while his cold finger tips trace circles on my inner thighs.

"you're gonna take two fingers for me?" matt says, i sink my top teeth into my bottom lip with a small giggle.

he presses the pad of his finger against my hole, he slowly pushes his large finger inside of me.

the cold metal of his rings against the warmth of my walls makes me squirm already.

matt doesnt waste time to push another finger inside of me, the stretch burns.

i've only ever fingered myself, my fingers are significantly smaller than matts so the feeling is different.. better.

he curls his fingers inside of me, repeatedly hitting a spot which is making the knot in my stomach clench.

"matt- oh my god!" i whimper out as he spreads his fingers apart inside of me. "it feels so good-" i babble,

i squeeze my eyes shut,

my eyes instantly spring back open as i feel matt's soft lips against my clit.

my hands instantly find there way to his brunette locks, my fingers intertwine into them.

i clench around his fingers again as he curls them

suddenly he pulls out of me, edging me completley

"matt!-" i start to protest, but he shushes me

"sh- sh i know, don't want you to cum yet cause we don't want to overstimulate you baby" matt says softly, tugging down his sweatpants.

there is a various obvious bulge in his sweatpants, i squeeze my thighs together as i look at it. matt runs a hand through his hair before tugging down his boxers, letting them fall to his ankles.

i sit up on my elbows as i stare at his erection, he is big.

very big.

"matt- how is that meant to fit inside of me- you said it wasn't going to hurt" i start to ramble, matt lets out a small laugh

"don't boost my ego." he laughs while rubbing his eyes

"matt seriously! the most i've ever had was your fingers which was like- 2 minutes ago!" i whine

"you'll be okay, i promise" matt chuckles,

"just lay back for me, you can hold my hand." matt says,

holding matt's hands and fingers have always been an anxiety response for me, he knows its comforting to me thats why he lets me whenever i'm scared.

he grabs my hand as i lay back, he grabs his base with his spare hand and lines himself up with me. "are you sure?" he asks again,

"yes- please!" i say impatiently,

he presses his tip, but nothing happens. "are you in?" i breathe out, he shakes his head

matt hesitates for a second before letting my hand go, he walks over to his closet.

"what-" i whisper, he turns back around with a bottle of lube in his hand which he holds shyly.

"its not gonna be comfortable for you if we don't have this." matt says to me as he squeezes some of the cold liquid out onto my folds

he reaches down and spreads some on his length, "lets try this again" he laughs.

matt grabs my hand again before pushing inside of me, i let out a wince.

"you're doing so well, so good for me baby, you've taken the tip." matt praises me,

"do you want more?" he asks teasingly, "yes- please" i beg

matt presses further into me, my walls stretch around him as i let out loud moans, somewhat pleasured but also a mix of pain.

he finally bottoms out, a low whimper falling from his red lips. "are you feeling okay?" his voice shakes

"i- i don't know." i laugh slightly, "do you want me to move?" matt asks, rubbing my fingers with his hand.

"yes- i think so" i smile at him stupidly before matt thrusts, he does small thrusts, being careful not to go too deep.

"you are- so fucking tight." matt says under his breath.

after several thrusts the pain goes away, now pleasure coarses through my body.

"i- oh my fuck, this feels s-so good" i stammer,

"youre taking me so well, you know you are." he says, locking eyes with me.

"you feel so good around me princess, so so good." matt's voice wobbles, he's holding back everything he has to not cum now.

i arch my back with a pathetic moan, feeling a familiar feeling in my stomach come back. matt places an arm by my head, caging me slightly.

"matt- oh fuck" i whine, squeezing his hand impossibly tight. i feel matt's dick twitch inside of me as his cheeks flush red.

abrubtly the knot in my stomach snaps, i didn't even realise it was coming until it did.

i clench hard around matt and feel warmth flow through my whole body, i release with a loud scream of his name as i claw at his back.

matt pulls out almost instantly, painting my chest and neck with white, my eyes widen as i sit up, but i instantly fall back down onto my back,

"shit i- i am so sorry for that aim" matt laughs

he reaches his palm out and wipes my neck clean, before collapsing down next to me.

"i love you so much matt" i mumble sleepily.

"i love you too princess" matt grins, pulling me close to his side. he pecks my face with kisses.

"im sorry for finishing so fast, i didn't even know it was coming-" i start up, matt shuts me up with a hand over my mouth

"im actually glad you finished fast, i was literally battling inner demons to not finish as soon as i started fucking you." matt breathes out.

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@luanetaluenta @sturnsssbow @mattfangirl @luvr4miya @luvtay111 @lolasturniolo @freshloveforthefit @ruedowney @lovingchrissposts @333michelle @h3arts4harry @sonicmacks @jamiesturniolo @chrisstopherfilmed @itzdarling @sturniolo-simp4life @daddyslilchickenfingers2 @recklessmatt @ev3rgreenxtrees @lovergirl4387 @certifiednatelover @solarsturniolo @mattsenthusiast @yomamaslays4lyfe @peachmels @alinaa131 @pepsiluvr0209 @creamoncreamoncream2 @szobofc @mattscoquette @blahbell668 @sturniolo04 @ecilphttlunar @bitchydragonparadise @thematthewlover r @sturni0l0 @ratatioulle @sturnsfav @chrisgetsmewetterxo @mattsonly @justalittle47 @mattsturnioloisbae @sunsetsturniolos @sturniolo04 @similartokayyz @pkfferoo @sturnsintrouble @ilovemattsturn @raysmayhem-72 @75sturn @sturniol0s @secret-sturniolo @hfkeclnendmwodne @sturniolosass @gxldenlush @stonermattsgf @101sara @beccaluvschris @oliviasturniolo21

[r4izx]

the next page

scaramouche x gn!reader

summary: you start seeing less and less of your lover and more and more of him with someone else.

- 2,522 words and 13,694 characters.

- slight cursing

a/n: sorry for not updating for so long •́ ‿ ,•̀ exams just ended. have this and not a part 2 of my last fic LOL.

9 days, 14 hours, 58 minutes and 2 seconds.

you don't know how you managed to keep track of the time but that's how long since you've seen your boyfriend in the day. if it wasn't for your shared apartment, you might've not even catch a glimpse of him at all.

these days, scaramouche has been coming home late and going out a lot. it's the reason why you've been staying up late night, waiting at the dinner table until he comes home for the dinner you prepared. but everytime he comes home it's already 2 am and the food has gone cold. you even offer to heat it up for him but he's either not hungry, already ate, or tired. but not too tired to go out with his friends it seems. and although you said friends, you're referring to a particular girl he's been spending more time with than anyone else. more time than with you. it didn't take long for you to find out why he's been ditching you. but it has been so long since you knew the reason yet you've done nothing about it.

you still wait at the kitchen table for who knows how long. but you always end up falling asleep, not noticing when he comes home. and the next day when you wake up, he's gone. that's basically your everyday routine. all you do is stay holed up in your shared apartment all alone. you didn't have much friends compared to him since you chose to hang out with him most of the time.

10 days, 2 hours, 4 minutes and 31 seconds.

it's late at night when scaramouche just entered the apartment. fortunately, you woke up almost immediately after hearing the door unlock. you fell asleep on the table, once again. and before scaramouche could even enter his bedroom, you called out his name.

"wait! scara..!" you still feel groggy from just waking up but you couldn't miss this chance. the chance to confront him. he stops in his tracks and slowly turns his head into your direction.

"what? be quick, i'm tired." scara replies. he was never the warm type of person, but he was also never this cold. you've never heard him speak in a tone like this. cold as ice. hearing him speak like that made you hesitate and even more nervous than you already were.

you nervously speak up,

"w-well, you know these days i've been thinking... you might be spending too much time with your friends and a girl i've been seeing you with. because we've barely hung out together compared to you and your friends." you finally confront of him. hoping he would understand how you feel, just like how you understand that he can have other friends as well.

"because of that, it's been really... lonely. I really don't wanna sound dramatic but maybe we could-"

"you are though." you internally flinch. before you could even finish what you were gonna say, scaramouche interrupted you. "you're being so dramatic y/n! can't i hang out with my friends?! you think you're the only one i have?! archons, there's so many people out there better than you! you're being so possesive."

you? possesive? is he being for real? are you wrong for wanting to spend time with your lover? his words keep echoing in your mind. 'dramatic, better than you, possesive.' you wanted to fight back and defend yourself. but, you wouldn't. you couldn't. you knew that he has other people to rely on too but who knew it would hurt this much when it's being said to you directly. what you didn't know is that he would choose to rely on them over you. now you look like a blind fool, who only saw the truth right now. the truth to his feelings. 'is that how he thinks of me?' you were stunned. too hurt to speak. but you snapped out of your daze once you felt something wet rolling down your face. a tear. you were, crying. crying for a guy who you knew you don't deserve. but you couldn't help it. all you could do now is wipe your tears.

"s-scara no- i'm sorry," what for? why do you need to apologize? "how about i join you with your friends instead? that way we both cou-"

"pfft." scaramouche tried holding his laughter. keyword: tried. he fails. bursting into a fit of laughter. "you? join us? tsk. don't make a joke like that, seriously... i don't need anybody to embarrass me infront of my friends. i told you, i'm too tired for this shit." and just like that, scara entered his room. leaving you all alone at the kitchen table, once again. you covered your mouth, hoping he wouldn't hear your muffled whimpers as you try to not to burst into tears. rushing to your own bedroom just after scara went to his.

you couldn't hold it in anymore. you broke down, tears streaming down from your eyes, too fast to wipe. you couldn't stop crying when you remember the things he had just said. but that wasn't the main reason as to why you were breaking down. sure, the hurtful words were a part of it but it was mostly because of the fact that, ...you know your worth. and you're worth more than this, and you deserve better. but you can't bring yourself to just... let go of him. you hate it that you wouldn't move on. that you couldn't move on.

8 days, 16 hours, 18 minutes and 20 seconds since that incident.

ever since that day you and scara has distanced even further. only seeing each other at night. barely. you told him how you felt and you didn't expect an outcome like this. you figured that you should treat yourself to something nice. you decide to go to the arcade. it was an arcade where you and scara would sometimes go to after class. it wasn't the best place to take a break at, considering you still think of him here, but atleast you were able to relax a bit. surprisingly, you managed to win something at the claw machine! it cheered you up when you remember the amount of times you spent money on rigged claw machines and end up getting nothing. maybe you should go to the arcade more. specifically on bad days. ironically, you're luckier on days where you feel like the unluckiest person ever.

just as you were about to get the prize you won, you saw something, no- scratch that, someone, out of the corner of your eye. someone you really didn't want to see. but still, you looked. your gaze lingered on him. you couldn't help but stare at scaramouche. your lover was right there. right there with another girl. is he cheating? is he leaving me? replacing me? you start overthinking, especially when you remember your last interaction with him. green hair, olive eyes. she's pretty too... maybe scara was right. maybe you were possesive... because right now you're feeling a lot of things. anger? sadness? jealousy? whatever it is --it doesn't feel good. while you were out here feeling like shit, scaramouche right now had the biggest smile on his face. with someone else, he looked so... happy. the smile on his face however, wasn't new to you. seeing it made you reminisce about the past. when you both were still happy together.

"scara! h-hey!-"

you both were walking at the side walk on the way home from school. it felt as if it was just yesterday when this happened. scara was teasing you, smudging ice cream on your face after you both bought some.

"ah- stop it!!"

scara didn't stop, he started laughing. he burst into laughter. and instead of being mad at him for teasing you again, you felt oddly comforted. was it because of his smile? seeing him so happy with you? whatever the reason was, you're just glad he's happy. and so you couldn't help but laugh along with him.

and right now, you're seeing the same memory again. but it's him,

...with someone else.

he's laughing with someone else. doing the same teasing to someone else. being so happy, with someone else.

it hurts.

and it hurts even more when you see that you won matching keychains. there's a pang on your chest and you can't explain the feeling. all you know is that you get this feeling when you see him being okay without you. while you're here suffering without him. it's unfair. you know your worth, and you deserve better. maybe... you should really move on.

so you've promised yourself, --you won't chat him, call him, prepare food for him, wait for him to get home. to think you would change yourself this much because of scara when he wouldn't change a single thing for you. but, it's for the better. now you're both avoiding each other.

15 days, 16 hours, 59 minutes and 58 seconds.

you managed to not interact with him as much for this long. things were awkward for the both of you, keeping replies short with each other. you think if other people saw you both they wouldn't even suspect the idea that you both are lovers. but hey, you kept your promise intact. fortunately, you haven't seen him at all for the past few days, not even a glimpse of him- ...yet.

as you were walking back home, you passed by you and scara's old spot. it was yours and scara's usual spot. it was somewhere near your shared apartment with him, an overlooking hill, where you could see the whole city. it was a place you both went to for a breath of fresh air. some memories quickly popped into your mind but you didn't wanna remember anything about it. not anymore. but it was only now that you noticed two figures on the spot. one was... from the silhouette you could already tell it was scara, but you still took a better look to confirm it and just as you suspected, it was him. now, the other figure was... the same girl again.

you're starting to hate the color green because of seeing her too much with him, although, you do feel slightly guilty 'cause you haven't even spoken to her once yet you feel like this. but still, you hate the color purple even more. it was the color of his hair, his eyes, and you were pretty sure it was his favorite color seeing how much his room is filled with it. because of him... you're hating a lot of things, including the fact that he looked so majestic right now. the wind blowing down on his face, his hair flowing with the air, his face leaning closer and closer to the girl's lips,...

as they kissed.

you watched as scara and the girl's lips touched each other's. it's a bit embarrassing to say but scara has never kissed you on the lips. was he saving it for a special moment like this? the atmosphere for them must have felt romantic. but right now, you feel like it's getting hard to breathe, the air around you is heavy, and your vision is getting blurry. ever since scara and you had distanced, you already knew at some point something like this would occur. but it still hurts. so much.

the dam broke.

tears started flooding down from your eyes. you cover your mouth, hoping the two of them wouldn't hear your sobs. your gaze fell downward. you couldn't bear to look at him again, it'll just break you even more. it hurts, it hurts, it hurts. and you start to think that maybe scara has never even loved you from the very beginning. maybe he was always more than friends with that girl. always ditching you for her, being this intimate with her, and at your personal spot with him too. looking back to your most precious moments with him, you really are a blind fool. you thought you were special. when in reality, he'd replace you the moment you do something he doesn't like.

and so, you break your promise. you take your phone out from your pocket. scrolling for a long while through your contacts. it was only now that you realize how long you actually didn't chat him. you finally find his name. 'scara♡'. you quickly cleared his nickname and started typing. even though your eyes were growing blurry from tears, you still tried to finish typing. albeit, with difficulty, you click send.

"scaramluche, we shoudl bresk up."

you didn't care if it had so much typos, you just wanted to get it over with. you tried staying loyal to him, for a long time. despite all of his complaints and how hard it was to breathe around him, you still endured. but a person could only take too much until they break.

you waited for a few minutes until the two of them finally left your spot. it was where you always went to when you needed a breathe of fresh air, so you went and sat there. watching the city lights, gazing at the sky, breathing this fresh air. this is what you need. no matter how many times you come to this place, the scenery always takes your breathe away. even though scaramouche was just here awhile ago, you couldn't even think about him right now. you wouldn't.

and for the first time in a while, you felt... relaxed. you felt calm. the air around you finally felt light, it was easier to breathe. now it's just you and yourself again. you were used to being alone in the confinements of your shared apartment, but this... feels different. you are alone, but you felt free. you aren't chained down to bothersome worries and doubts anymore.

going back to your shared apartment that day was difficult for you. but from then on, you knew things were gonna get better, so you held on. scaramouche didn't even bat an eye to the boxes lying around on your room. he didn't even care about the fact that your closet was getting emptier and emptier through the days. but that's good. because just like how he neglects you, you won't let yourself be bothered by him anymore.

and alas, the day comes where you finally move out. you went far enough to even ask the landlord if you could move in early. this is the beginning of your life without any problems. without any of him. scaramouche is blocked on all of your socials, he wouldn't know a thing about your whereabouts even if he tried to look for you. because you know a lot of things about him when he doesn't even know where you work.

you finished setting up your bed at your new apartment. you hastily scrambled onto the bed, lying down on your back. your whole body instantly felt relaxed and the only thing you could think about is that you don't regret doing this. you think that maybe this was really what you needed. a break from him, being freed from doubts and worries. you truly did the right choice of moving out, and...

33 days, 21 hours, 5 minutes and 10 seconds.

...moving on.

[caws5749]

Nat and reader getting into a heated argument about where they are in the relationship and reader breaks up with Nat, leaving Nat to decide what she wants (getting over her trauma etc) and coming back to reader

LOVING THE CRAZINESS ALREADY

A/N: THIS IS LATE BUT IM DRINKING A BEER AT 230AM AFTER WORK SO DOES IT COUNT AS DWN?????

Promoting: Nothing currently, I took a break this week from fanfic night as I am a tired soul

++++++

She wouldn't define it. Your relationship.

For a few months, you'd understood. Your lifestyles were beyond complicated and unpredictable. And making a relationship official could be dangerous in your line of work. But then you'd seen Steve with Sharon and Tony with Pepper and you couldn't understand why you had to be different.

And so you'd asked.

"Natasha, what are we?"

"We are in bed, detka, together. We care about each other. Isn't that enough?"

You'd valued her, loved her, so much that it was.

And maybe you should have been more forthcoming with what you wanted. But in all other aspects, she was unbelievably right for you.

Natasha Romanoff understood you better than anyone else on the planet, or the universe for that matter, including yourself. She knew what you wanted before you asked, what drove you mad, what you cared most about. She was protective of you, soothed you when you were anxious, and made you all around a better person. Except for that one little part about her not calling you hers.

Eight months in, you simply were unsure what to do. All you knew was that you couldn't keep doing this.

"What's the matter, lyubov moya?" Natasha's gentle voice asked, pulling you from your thoughts as you donned an earring at the vanity.

"Nothing," you replied, forcing a smile. Her eyes narrowed, but she didn't say anything. You weren't quite sure what she was thinking, and you were beginning to not care.

The two of you finished getting ready and headed out to dinner. It was a windy, stormy night in October- what normally would have elevated your mood. The restaurant was one of your favorites, but you were hardly hungry. It didn't matter that her hand was on your back, a move of protection and comfort you normally loved. It didn't matter that several people on the sidewalk had commented that you were a lovely couple. Because you weren't, not to Nat.

Upon entering, you weren't quite sure what had happened. You weren't sure what on earth prompted her to say it, or perhaps it was the universe's way of pushing you over the edge.

"My friend and I have a reserv-"

She didn't even get to finish her sentence, you were out the door, the feeling of her hand on your back simply a phantom sensation. The timing was perfect, really, thunder boomed loudly and lightning lit up the sky. You'd barely made it ten feet before it started pouring.

"Y/N!"

You kept walking. You couldn't stop, you wouldn't stop.

"Y/N, please- I-"

You turned, seething, hair plastered to your skin, dress clinging to you like a second skin. "You what?" you breathed, chest heaving.

"I- I didn't mean to-"

"Didn't mean to? Didn't mean to what- tell them we're not a couple? Because we certainly aren't, you have made that abundantly clear. Clear for the last eight goddamn months, Natasha! I won't do it anymore!"

You stopped for a breath, pure terror and regret on the woman's face standing across from you.

"Please," she begged quietly. You'd never heard her sound quite so... small. But whatever was holding her back from you, it wasn't enough.

"We're done. Whatever the hell we even are, whatever it is we've been doing, it's done."

++++++

You hadn't really seen her, funnily enough. Perhaps the timing of it all was another gift from the universe. Natasha had disappeared after the signing of the Accords and you had ended up breaking some of your teammates out of the Raft.

When she showed up at your door in the compound one evening, red hair redder than the last time you'd seen it, you weren't surprised. But you were certainly guarded.

"I love you. I'm not standing here to get you back, I wouldn't put you in that position," she began, eyes shining with truth, confidence, and adoration. "I was terrified of a relationship, of you. I thought I was weak, to want something so... human. I was scared to love you, scared of not being right for you, of being a danger to you. I could not have been more wrong. Tearing the Red Room down, facing my past, it made me realize that there is a strength t all of those things. I never stopped loving you. I never stopped wanting everything with you. And I am sorry." With that final declaration, she turned to leave.

And goddamn it, you simply couldn't let her.

"You are right for me," you said softly, stopping her in her tracks. You'd never associate her with anything other than graceful, yet the way she halted was almost too human for her. "You always were, Natasha."

She stood, staring at you in disbelief and confusion, mixed with a bit of hope.

"You can start by taking me out to dinner," you chuckled. She let that familiar perfect smirk grace her lips, before she grew serious.

"Even if we take it slow, know that you are mine. I have no intention of ever letting anyone believe otherwise."

[rinkkuma]

୨୧ SOUR GRAPES

don't get me wrong, i've never exactly liked you.

ft. satoru gojo, yuta okkotsu, suguru geto, yuuji itadori, & megumi fushiguro

tags. a tiny bit ooc satoru, very light angst, gn!reader, mostly fluff ! / author's note. inspired by the song, sour grapes by lesserafim :3 (also its insane that theyve literally almost debuted two years ago) essentially just feelings in denial kinda!

SATORU is naturally a smooth talker, so he personally believes that he has never actually had a crush on anyone. sometimes he unintentionally flirts with people. one time, a waitress seemed to be super flustered, but all he did was order. (it was his tone of voice, but he's super unaware.. and maybe his stupid, handsome face) so, when suguru and shoko asked him one day if he had a crush on you, he was confused why they would think so. in their perspectives, satoru's tone of voice was softer around you, he wasn't just mindlessly “flirting” with you, his compliments seemed genuine. and to top it off, you are always the first person he looks at when he cracks a joke. satoru himself noticed this but had no idea why he had done this. he also felt his heart race around you. and his face felt hot around you. despite being flirty, he had never actually dated anyone, so the feeling was new to him. maybe a little more convincing from suguru and shoko was all it took for him to realize that he did like you.

YUTA and you are childhood friends, and people often mistake you for a couple. even your friends ship you. yuta nervously laughs and says, “we're practically siblings! we've known each other since we were little.” you on the other hand, feel dejected when he says this, because you maybe kind of had a fat crush on him. truthfully, yuta himself feels that he may have been developing feelings for you over the past few years, but has been terrified to say something because he didn't want to ruin your years worth of friendship over his stupid feelings. he had a nightmare one night that he had confessed to you, and you looked at him with a puzzled face and told him you thought of him more as a brother than anything. he comically woke up sweating and sat right up, thankful that it was just a dream. that whole day, yuta seemed off. seemingly avoiding you, and if he couldn't, it was minimal interaction. after a few days of yuta's odd behavior, you decide to confront him. yuta mindlessly mumbles some random things that you couldn't understand, but towards the end, he suddenly confesses. yuta himself looks surprised at what he said, and he awkwardly says, “oh.. just, uh.. pretend you didn't hear anything if you don't feel the same. it was.. an accident.” you laugh and tell him you have felt the same all these years, and he breathes a sigh of relief. you and yuta went on a date the next day.

SUGURU is typically kind, calm, and gentle with everyone, but with you? he seems to be slightly more snappy and has a cold tone of voice. it's not like he's being rude or mean to you; he just seems irritated. whenever you laugh at one of satoru's jokes, you swear his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he is loudly sighing. maybe it's because you're annoyingly pretty and your laugh is so cute that he's annoyed. or maybe the fact that he's not the one making you laugh. and don't even get me started when it's just the two of you. awkward silence. you could hear crickets chirping, a pin drop, and the subtle breathing. you have tried multiple times to start a conversation and maybe break this romantic tension, but he has always just dryly responded and kept the conversation one-sided. and this wasn't just a few times; it was daily. every single day, satoru and shoko randomly leave, and you've tried tagging along before to avoid the awkwardness with suguru, but they quickly run off before you get the chance to ask. it was painfully obvious to satoru and shoko that you two had liked each other and hey, maybe if they keep leaving the two of you alone like this, one of you will crack and confess. (spoiler: it was suguru first.)

YUUJI has always thought you were an amazing person. romantically though? he thought otherwise. but, oh boy, one day when he saw you with a guy he had never seen in his life, his mind changed immediately. he quickly thinks to himself, “you're not even dating in the first place. don't get jealous. dontgetjealousdontgetjealous.” yuuji nearly loses it when he sees the guy hug you. he uses every cell in his body to resist running up to the guy and maybe or maybe not swinging at him. after a few eye twitches deep breaths, he starts to walk in your direction as if he were casually passing by and coincidentally ran into you. when he makes eye contact with you, he smiles before saying, “oh, hey y/n! watcha doing here?” while his smile seemed a little forced, you brushed it off. you wave back to him and tell him that you saw a cousin of yours after not seeing him for a few years. relief immediately washed over yuuji, and he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in.

MEGUMI is oblivious. his face is clearly flushed, and his words are slightly jumbled whenever he's around you. this became even more clear when one day, yuuji and nobara had interrogated him about why his face is always red around you. which of course, he denied. he simply says, “it was hot out, that's all.” they see right through megumi's “lie.” yuuji and nobara both look at each other before bursting out laughing. “it's literally winter, fushiguro.” megumi rolled his eyes and moved on with his day. (he was secretly praying they didn't make a big deal about it, but he knows damn well they probably did) yuuji and nobara on the other hand, ran to tell you that it was quite literally confirmed that megumi liked you too! after they told you about what they had just witnessed, (mind you, they were speaking fast as hell so it was hard to understand, but you got the general idea) they started dragging you towards megumi's location. they didn't even give you a chance to oblige against it because they couldn't let this chance go to waste! they've been watching the tension between you and megumi for the past few months, and they were sick of it! and oh boy, when you were finally face-to-face with megumi.. it was awkward. like 3 minutes of awkward silence. but, it ended with megumi asking you out, so hey!

inspired by this prompt list <3

[alchemistc]

won't make my mama proud

read on ao3

Buck's just gonna say it. He's not gonna be cagey about it. He's not gonna make it weird. Everyone important doesn't need an announcement, they'll - they'll see him, and they'll understand, and Buck will get to enjoy himself.

His parents are the wildcard.

"E- Buck," his mom starts, brow furrowed as she looks at the seating chart. She's getting better at catching herself, and it's small fries but it's not nothing. "Why did George get moved to table seven?"

He'd been a little giddy, sitting at Maddie's kitchen table with the seating chart out, the tips of his ears bright red and the smile refusing to leave his face, basking in the little hip-shake arm-wave dance Maddie'd done when he asked if she could fit a plus one in.

Buck honestly couldn't remember who they'd moved to make it work, but it'd made the most sense - Tommy knew Bobby and Athena, he knew Karen and Eddie and Marisol, he wouldn't have to sit with a table of strangers who didn't even know a "George" anyway.

His mom's eyes flit to the extended family table, where Tommy has been tucked in between Eddie and Denny. He'd made the place card himself, intent to match the script from the printers, tongue sticking out as he swooped the 'Y' out in gold Sharpie on a piece of leftover cardstock cut to match.

"Uh - I'm bringing a date, after all," Buck says, and he watches his mom slide through names, a mental list of people she vaguely knows of. The Marisol thing had been a point of contention - extended family meant family to Margaret and Phillip Buckley, and they'd already made an exception to let Chim include Eddie and his son at that particular table. They'd acted like the relationship to the bride and the groom was going to be hovering over the top of each table. So. She knows the name Marisol. She knows Athena and Bobby. Knows Karen.

The list of potential dates is growing smaller by the minute and clearly it's not computing.

He's just gonna rip the bandaid off. "His name is Tommy. My date."

Once upon a time, he'd have taken an opportunity like this to make sure he was the center of fucking attention for as long as he possibly could be. Maybe drive home the point that his parents didn't know him as well as they claimed they did. Definitely press their buttons, see if he could invite a reaction out of them.

Now he waves off his mother's confused silence. "I already ran it by Maddie and Chim, they know him." Sort of. It's too complicated to explain to his parents, right now. Maybe if the dancing goes well, at the reception. Maybe once he's snuck about fifty more kisses in.

"Buck, you can't bring a friend as a plus one to your sister's wedding."

He doesn't see why not, really, but that's - very much not the point. Oh. Oh yeah, that's a little painful. He gets why Tommy'd slammed the brakes, now, when he'd stuck his foot in it.

"Good thing he's my date, then, mom."

Even after all this time, he always feels like he's one bad interaction away from laying into his parents, but he tempers it. This isn't really about him, or them. This is about Maddie's wedding, which is two days away and doesn't need the distraction of the brides family having it out. Again.

"What do you mean?" she asks, and - her defensive voice always sounds like she's expecting a direct attack, teeth at her jugular and she's too frail to stop it. He's always hated the way she does that, because it always makes her sound like the victim of a heinous crime when half the time she's just trying to deny something she's been accused of.

Buck takes a deep breath through his nose. "Tommy. He's my date to the wedding. Once we've all eaten and toasted at the reception he'll be the one I'm getting drinks for, he'll be the one I'm introducing to Maddie's work friends, he'll be the one I'm dancing with." He'll be the one I'm going home with, Buck doesn't say, even if he really fucking wants to. He'd gotten a dick pic for the first time last night that had rocked his entire fucking world and he's very ready to explore the realities of finally understanding he's attracted to the male form in a sexual way.

She goes through what seems like all the stages of grief at once. Not unexpected, but still kinda shitty to witness. But she's - they're both better. His parents are trying. He'll give them that. She shores up a PTA mom smile.

"Oh. I didn't know you... Well I just didn't know."

"It's new," he says, because now doesn't feel like the time to tell her he's been analyzing old friendships for weeks now, that his penchant for trying to create deep bonds with men he admires has taken on a new meaning to him. He doesn't want to get into the conversation he'd had with Tommy two nights ago, Tommy laughing but understanding as Buck regaled him with the tale of how he'd followed the varsity kicker around like a lost puppy for most of his junior year and he'd only just figured out why. "Tommy used to work at the 118, though, so he's not exactly a stranger."

He doesn't really feel like giving her more than that. It's new to him, too, it's new and fragile and it's settling warm in his gut, this feeling like he finally knows the way to make a proper chili is to add some unsweetened cocoa powder. The recipe works without it but it was never quite right, until the secret ingredient got thrown in.

"You'll have to introduce us," his mom says, and Buck thinks about it - about the way Tommy will internalize the confused looks his parents try to hide, and the way Buck will want to curl tighter around him because of it, the way he'll want to shrink under the force of his parents never quite getting him and how he knows, he knows Tommy won't let him shrink.

"Yeah," he says, and his mind goes back to thinking of Tommy in a suit.

Tommy with a button undone that turns into three by the third song, Tommy fiddling with cufflinks, Tommy with suspenders, Tommy's ass in a pair of crisp tapered trousers. Buck wonders if he's an ankle sock with dress shoes guy.

His mom turns back to her trove of little gift bags, plastic crinkling as she ties another finished one off. He's - it feels a bit like he's waiting for a shoe to drop, sitting there next to her as her hands continue to pull jute twine from its roll in even six inch lengths, cutting them, twisting bags and tying them off.

Their hands meet the next time he slides a pile of filled bags over to her -- a bubble jar, three Jordan almonds, four Kisses, a quarter inch of crinkle paper on the bottom. Buck goes to move his hand back and her soft, wrinkled hand reaches out to pat his knuckles before she returns to her twine.

-----

He picks up Tommy's call when he's halfway home. "Hey," he says, and he knows Tommy can hear the smile in his voice. He can't bring himself to care.

"Hey. Did you already eat at your sisters?"

"No, my parents took Jee out to dinner so Maddie and Chim could have the night before Maddie imposes her weird twenty-four hour no contact rule."

"You Buckley's," Tommy says, and there's something fond in his voice that makes Buck's heart squeeze, just a bit. "I know I'll see you tomorrow night, but I thought, if you're not busy --."

"I'm not busy," Buck interrupts, and Tommy's little chuff of a laugh echoes back at him.

"Maybe I'm about to ask you to detail my truck for me."

Buck's still trying to find the right way to word his thoughts about armor-all and gear shafts when Tommy cuts across them.

"Low hanging fruit, Evan," he warns, even though he can't have possibly known what Buck was thinking.

"I was thinking about the twig, not the berries," Buck shoots back, and Tommy groans.

"You have sufficient evidence not to call it a twig."

"Which is why I was trying to compare it to the gear shift, before you derailed that train of thought."

"Do you wanna come over for dinner or not, Evan Buckley?"

Buck taps his thumbs on the steering wheel, does a little jig in his seat, tries not to smile so wide that he scares the driver next to him as he coasts to a stop at a red light.

"Are the berries on the menu?"

"The stick shift too, if you're lucky."

"This metaphor is getting a little murky."

"If you wanted to stop for shitty burgers I wouldn't mind," Tommy admits, voice softening, and Buck is already trying to plot out the best route to In-N-Out from here to Tommy's. "If you think of a way to make an Animal Style innuendo you are not getting into my pants tonight."

"I'll stick with the hot meat puns, then."

Tommy laughs, bright and loud, goofy like he can't quite control it, and Buck settles into his seat, flipping his blinker to get into the turn lane so he can double back a few blocks.

"You far enough away I can hop in the shower without telling you where I keep my hide-a-key?"

"Yeah, but maybe you should tell me anyway."

Tommy hums, and something settles under Buck's skin when Tommy gives him a frankly ridiculous set of instructions that no first responder is ever gonna follow in an emergency when they could just kick the door in, dispatch instructions be damned.

It's far too early in this, but Buck's pretty sure he's deep enough in this that it wouldn't weird him out if Tommy told him to keep the spare. He doesn't, and Buck doesn't mind, but it's there, in the back of his mind, that feeling like they're both in this for the long haul.

"Hey, I told my mom you're coming as my plus one," Buck says into the comfortable silence that drifts over the line. Tommy knows the bare minimum about his family, really, but he knows that's significant all the same.

"How did that...go?" And Buck keeps forgetting that Tommy wasn't always confidently out, that he's experienced the coming out conversation with a lot worse results than Buck's experienced, so far.

"She was mostly weirded out that you made George move to table seven," Buck jokes, because he's not sure he's fully unpacked how he feels about it yet, and Tommy - Tommy gets that.

"If I'm stepping on toes, I don't mind sitting with all the weird singles and estranged aunts, Evan," Tommy assures, for the twentieth time.

"You're sitting with the people I want you to be sitting with," Buck reminds him, and hopes he understands the part of that that Buck doesn't know how to say out loud yet.

"Noted," he says, that same tone as when he met Buck for coffee, a few weeks ago now, the weight of understanding the things between the lines.

"Go shower," Buck tells him, and tries not to let his imagination run too wild at the thought. "I'll see you in a bit."

Tommy doesn't immediately respond, and Buck can imagine him on the other side of the call, debating whether or not to make the dumb joke about detailing his gear stick himself. He clearly has better impulse control than Buck. "See you soon," he says after a beat, and hangs up before Buck can draw him back in.

[sherlocking-out-loud]

I made myself laugh writing this, so I decided to share, in case it makes anyone else laugh:

(this is part of a wip that I have no idea if I'll ever finish writing. in it, Eddie is having a sexuality crisis and this happens)

Eddie was tying up his boots when he noticed Buck approaching the locker room, walking with a slight limp. That is odd. Buck sat down beside him, slowly, a small grunt escaping him at the end. “What happened to you?” Eddie blurted out. “Tommy happened,” Buck answered as he took off his sneakers. Oh?

“So you and Tommy…” Eddie sort-of-asked, waving his index finger in the air, for added clarification. “Yeah, man, we finally did it.” OH. “I see. And… are you ok? You seemed to be limping on your way here…” “Uh, yeah, I’ve been better. It was such a bad idea doing it before a shift, I shouldn't have suggested it.” Eddie squirmed. “Oh, it was your idea?” he heard himself ask, even though he was feeling like running away from this conversation as fast as possible. “Yeah, we've been talking about it for so long, and I was so excited to try it, and we finally had time yesterday, so… But yeah, I should have waited.” “So now … you regret it?…” “I mean… Not really, we had a lot of fun, you know? But, yeah, now I’m really starting to feel it,” he chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. “Maybe Tommy should have gone easier on you, then,” Eddie countered. He just could not understand how Buck was being so casual. “He knows you're new to this–” “Oh, he was going easy on me, but I insisted he shouldn't pull the punches. I'm a big boy, I can take it, so he went for it.” Oh my god! “Hm, hm,” Eddie managed, his voice strangled. Maximum regret level reached. “Oh you should've seen us,” Buck continued, oblivious to Eddie’s crisis, “There was this move he made that–” Oh my god??! “What the hell, Buck? Why would I want to see that?? Or hear about it?” “What? Why not? I thought you liked it!” “Whaaat?” Eddie squeaked, his voice hitting the highest pitch he had ever managed in his life – a record he definitely could do without at the moment. “Don't you watch Muay Thai matches??” “I– what? What that’s have to do– Oh…. That's what you were talking about?” “What else would I be talking about??” Less than a half a second later, the penny dropped and the look of utter bewilderment on Buck’s face was gone. He then proceeded to howl with laughter, doubling over and falling off the bench in the process. Eddie groaned, sliding a hand down his face. “Oh. My. God. You should have seen your face!!!!” Buck managed to let out, in between giggles. “For fuck's sake,” Eddie muttered, “It's not that funny.” “Oh, it really is,” Buck told him, sitting back on the bench. “Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Eddie grumbled, getting up and shoving his things into his locker. “Sorry, sorry, I’m done now,” Buck said as he wiped the tears streaming down his face. He got up and clapped a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, “It’s sweet of you to worry,” he continued, “but you don't have to. Tommy and I have been having sex for weeks now, and it's going great, no regrets there,” he finished with a wink, before starting to change into his uniform. Eddie cringed so much that he barely managed to control his deep urge to hit his forehead on his locker door. It was going to be a long day.

[w2soneshots]

Hey there can you please do something like y/n (also a YouTuber and she’s a very nice a sweet girl )y/n and Harry r dating and living together and Harry is doing one of those videos he does with Stephen,Chris and Will and maybe it’s just like she’s kind of in the background and cute little moments of her being in the video.

Lockdown -W2S

words: 0.6k+

warnings: none.

summary: you and Harry spend an average day in lockdown together.

notes: thank you so much for your request my love! I hope I did it justice💝🫶🏼

Liked by tobjizzle and 349,120 others

y/username: good morning🌅 @wroetoshaw

-comments-

freyanightingale: morning beautiful💞

-> y/username: 🫶

y/nfanpage21: you're both practically matching🥺

user81910592: what's Harry filming??

I've been with Harry for around a year. We got together just before January 2020, and when covid hit Harry asked if I'd move into his apartment with him. We spent all of the first lockdown together and became even closer, due to spending every day practicing trapped in his room. When September rolled around constrictions were being lifted but we were still spending a lot of time inside.

Harry, Chris, Will and Stephen have recently started doing group videos on YouTube. I've been in the background of lots of them but usually go into the living room (when Cal isn't doing something in there) and watch tv. Today they're filming "Ranking the top 10 YouTube videos of all time".

"I'm gonna start filming in a sec, are you gonna stay?" Harry asked, his keyboard clicking. "Mhm," I hummed "I'm just gonna put my AirPods in." I said. "Ok." He glanced at me with a smile. "Alright boys!" He said loudly to the computer, a few minutes later. After around ten minutes Harry said my name "y/n?" "Yea?" I said pushing myself up from the mattress to lean on my elbows. "Can you quickly react to this," he pointed to the screen "for the video?" He asked. I nodded "sure." I got up from the bed and Harry moved his chair back so I could sit on his lap. "Here." He said passing me his headset. I put it on and immediately the boys said hello.

I reacted to the video with a loud laugh as I leaned back into Harry. Then I said a quick goodbye and passed the headphones back to Harry. I sat back down on the bed while Harry finished the video, which seemed to be taking a lifetime.

Once he was finally done he plopped down on the bed. I took my earphones out and smiled at him. He smiled back "I'm gonna get in the shower, wanna join?" I raised my eyebrows then giggled "yes, yes I do." I said and we both got up off the bed. As we stepped into his bathroom we stripped our clothes off.

After we finished "showering" we dried ourselves off, got changed and headed into the kitchen to get some dinner. "You alright there Cal?" I asked the man stood looking at the oven with a confused look on his face. He looked toward both me and Harry "uh- yea, I just can't figure out how to turn this on." He said. I laughed "you've been in this apartment for over a year and you still can't turn the oven on?" "I haven't needed to use it, we've got an air fryer ya know!" He exclaimed. Harry chuckled "just press," he stepped forward to point to one of the buttons "that one mate." He said. Freezy nodded "oh, thanks."

Cal took his food to his room and me and Harry began making some simple, quick spaghetti bolognaise. "Mmm, this is just what I needed." I said taking another bite of the pasta. "Yea, this is bangin." He said with a quiet hum of satisfaction.

We cleaned up and headed back to Harry's room. We sat on the bed and Harry began scrolling through his phone while I tried to decide what movie I wanted to watch on his large tv. Harry hates anything that isn't a documentary or based on a true story, he thinks it's pointless watching fiction because you don't actually learn anything. Which I understand so usually while I watch something Harry will sit with me, but doesn't actually pay any attention.

I lay with my head leaning comfortably on Harry's chest, our legs slightly intertwined and his arm wrapped tightly around me. Just before the movie finished I drifted off into a deep sleep, lulled by the sound of Harry's heartbeat and the calming sound of his breathing.

[rin-fukuroi]

𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 [𝐍𝐞𝐮𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞]

Please do not translate or publish my works without my permission.

The originals of my works can be read here

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Pairings: Neuvillette x fem!reader

Warnings: NSFW, sub!Neuvillette, loss of virginity (Neuvillette), established relationships, oral sex, creampie.

Note: English is not my native language, so I apologize if there are errors in the text qq

I think this guy is definitely a virgin, so I had to fix it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡��)

art: @eriimyon

— Are you inviting me to come over... to your place? We've just had dinner, — Neuvillette is charming when he doesn't understand your hints at all. Although, he could hardly even make out a hint of what he basically does not understand.

You coquettishly wrap your own wrist behind your back, blunting your gaze at the floor, standing at the entrance to your house after a date that is already quite familiar to both of you. The Hydro Dragon really should have shown more interest in recognizing human emotions at the time, then maybe it wouldn't be so hard for him to understand you now. Yes, he notices when you're upset and understands that your beaming smiles mean you're happy, but now… Your behavior goes beyond what he's used to.

Neuvillette notices how your cheeks are slightly pink, you don't meet his eyes, you don't answer his question, but you don't leave. All the signs must indicate that you are confused, but by what? Did his question put you in an awkward position?

— Y/N, — the man clears his throat before speaking in a more serious tone. — I think there was a misunderstanding between us, and if my words confused you, then I apologize. I don't think I fully understand why exactly I should come to your house at such a late hour, but… if it's important to you, I won't refuse.

— Oh, Archons, you are unbearable! — you pull a confused man by the hand, forcefully dragging him into the hastily opened door of your house.

Just for a moment in the dark, while you stand pressed against the door that you slammed with your back, silence reigns between you. What should Neuvillette do next? Wait for an offer to go into the living room, start talking first? Oh, he's so bad at it.…

— Y/N…

— Listen, aren't we… kind of in a relationship? And it's been a long time, right?

Neuvillet thinks about it before answering anyway.

— Regarding the years I have lived, our relationship doesn't last that long, but if we take into account how long the human age has been, then I think we can say that we have been really close for a sufficient amount of time to designate this period as a long one.

— That's right. And we're already holding hands without hesitation, kissing and hugging when we're alone, right?

The Chief Justice swallows.

— Ahem… yes, that's right. Although it was all new to me at first, but now I understand why you're always so eager to touch me.

— So you like my touch? — you take a step forward, coming close to your lover before your hands fall on his shoulders, slowly sliding down Neuvillette's chest.

— If that wasn't the case, I guess I wouldn't let you do that, — the man tensed slightly as you fiddled with the fabric of his robe. You've never done anything like this before.

— At the beginning of our relationship, I said that I would show you how pleasant physical contact and feelings can be between two people… or, in our case, between a human and a dragon. You trusted me, and now you have no doubt that my suggestions, even the craziest ones, eventually bring you pleasure?

— I have nothing to object to. You've really discovered a lot of nice things for me that I didn't even know existed until I met you.

— Exactly! — you suddenly squeeze the thick fabric on Neuvillette's chest, looking straight into his confused mother-of-pearl eyes with complete seriousness. — In that case, you should know that this is not all.

— Not all?.. What do you mean…

— Neuvi, tell me, do I turn you on?

"Turn me... What?"

— Wh-what do you mean?

You frown, but then the irritation on your face turns to thoughtfulness as you look away, carefully choosing the words you are going to say.

— Have you ever wanted something more than kisses?

Ah, he seems to understand what you're getting at. Neuvillette is quite knowledgeable about the physiology and reproduction of humans, but he never thought about the fact that everything might not be as primitive as it sounds in scientific books. Kissing and hugging are not something necessary for people's life and interaction, nevertheless, it seems to be important to you, and he himself feels some dependence on your touch, although he does not show it. Does this mean that sex is also an obligatory part of any relationship and is a manifestation of love in physical form, and not just a way of one of the types of reproduction of living beings?

— Oh, that's what you're talking about… hmm, — the man really thought deeply, switching off for a few seconds before finally looking into your eyes with all the seriousness that only he is capable of. — I'm sorry, Y/N, I never thought that I fit into society well enough even after centuries, but after realizing that I have feelings for you, I decided that maybe I began to understand people a little better… I guess it's still not so, and it's hard for me to answer your question.

— In that case, I'll help you decide on the answer.

Neuvillette's words dissolve on your lips when you unexpectedly kiss a confused man.

It's not that you've never done this before, but now your kiss is more insistent, more… Passionate? When you unceremoniously invade his mouth, Neuvillette can feel how you are overwhelmed by the desire for intimacy and an irresistible thirst that he has never experienced when your saliva settled on his tongue. No matter how many human emotions he experiences touching the waters of the Fontaine, what you are experiencing now is so new to him, but the Hydro Dragon succumbs to this feeling, allowing his palms to rest on your waist.

And that gesture was enough for you to realize that your lover doesn't seem to mind what you're about to do, so your fingers are now frantically fumbling with the fasteners on several layers of his clothes while your lips are still on his. It's all so weird.… Perhaps Neuvillette undressed in front of someone for the last time only during Sidgwyn's medical examination, which, in fact, there was no need, but he could not refuse her insistence. But now you're gradually unbuttoning his clothes for a completely different purpose. Is this the first time the Chief Justice has thought about whether his human body is attractive at all? But does it matter if you don't seem to be tormented by a single question when you break off the kiss and gently pull his robe and shirt over his shoulders, staring at his now bare chest and torso with fascination.

The tips of your fingers lightly tickle Neuvillette's pale skin as you run them over the man's tense muscles, without taking your curious gaze off the trajectory of your movements, before turning your attention to the dark blue gloves clinging to his graceful hands. You wrap your arms around each of his wrists in turn, gently pulling the thick fabric from the man's long fingers until the gloves go to the floor to his robes and shirt.

— You wear too many clothes, you know? — you giggle, now looking up to meet Neuvillette's gaze, still with the same calmness on his face as always, watching what you're doing.

— No less and no more than is necessary to maintain the image of a judge, I suppose…

— Come on. Everyone in Fontaine knows who you are and how seriously you take your job and will never question it, even if you dress in something more comfortable, — the corners of your lips lift in a soft smile before you take a step back, depriving Neuvillette of the warmth of your hands on his skin. — And now… it's your turn.

The mother-of-pearl eyes of the Hydro Dragon widen when he freezes for a moment, awkwardly glancing at your body.

— Do you want me to, uh… take off your clothes too?

— Yes.

For the first time, Neuvillette was truly embarrassed. A slight blush covered his cheeks as he plucked up the courage to come closer to you and stretch out his hands to touch the button on your jacket. Hesitantly, but the man coped with the first task, unbuttoning your outer clothes before casting a last questioning glance at you, meeting your approving nod, after which the fabric of the jacket finally slipped off your shoulders. It seemed even this was so insanely awkward, but looking at your blouse and realizing that you will only be wearing underwear under it, Neuvillette feels even more excited, nervously swallowing before repeating the procedure again, gradually, as each of the miniature buttons was unbuttoned, exposing more and more areas your skin.

You'd be lying if you said you weren't as embarrassed as he was, even though it's not the first time a man will see you naked, but the fact that this man will be Neuvillette today… This fact really causes excitement in your chest. It's all so new to him, will he even like your body?

You blush even more when the Chief Justice slowly and carefully slides the sleeves of a thin blouse down your shoulders. For a few moments, his eyes roam around the dark room until he decides to look at your almost completely naked upper body.

— Hey, Neuvi… — the man flinches slightly when your palm touches his cheek, forcing Neuvillette to look into your eyes. You furrow your brows and pout your lips, gently pinching the skin of his face. — I think you've forgotten something.

You're really making him do it.…

Neuvillette's gaze finally hesitantly slides down. Oh… your chest is heaving so deliciously in time with your labored breathing, your collarbones protrude seductively under thin pale skin, that now Neuvillette can barely take his eyes off how fragile and graceful your body looks. Taking another short step forward, his palms touch your waist, sliding further behind you. Has your skin always been so soft and warm? Why hadn't he noticed it before? Neuvillette enjoys every second of it, during which his hands work their way up your back before finally finding the clasp of a bra in a pale blue shade. You hear a soft click and feel the fabric pressure on your ribs ease and the straps gently slide down your shoulders.

Neuvillette never thought that you could look even more beautiful. Although your body is certainly beautiful, and he cannot deny how just looking at your bare chest is enough to make an unusual warmth flow to the bottom of his stomach, he is more fascinated by how your face looks now. So embarrassed, but still looking into his eyes when your gazes meet. Of course, you're more experienced at this, but Neuvillette can't help but be touched by how awkward you feel too, even though what's happening is not new to you.

— Come on! — you grab the Chief Justice by the arm again, dragging him into the bedroom.

Even in the semi-darkness of your house, Neuvillette notices how your face takes on a new expression when you lead him to the bed, now moving your hands to his chest and gently pushing him back. Well, he trusted you from the moment he crossed the threshold of your house, so he obediently sits down on a soft mattress, slightly spreading his legs when you come closer, towering over him, standing between his thighs. Miniature fingers cling to Neuvillette's chin, forcing him to look up at you.

— Tell me, Neuvi, do you like what you see?

You expected your question to confuse the man again, but his face has never looked so serious as now, when he looks straight into your eyes, uttering his answer in a soft tone, permeated only with adoration.

— You're beautiful, Y/N.

You squint slightly as you smile, slowly sinking to your knees as your hands move to his hips. It's so sweet that Neuvillette takes every word you say seriously, but right now it didn't take him a second to give his answer.

The man flinches slightly when your hands reach for the fly of his trousers. To look at you in this position… So strange. Neuvillette is used to looking at people from the height of his judicial chair in the courtroom, he is used to literally looking down at you because of your height difference, but now you are … really kneeling in front of him, and he does not know what to say or do, so he continues to remain only a participant in your performance The script you didn't hand him.

— You've never touched yourself here, isn't it? — the warmth of your palm seeps even through the thick fabric of Neuvillette's trousers when you touch his groin, feeling a hard erection under your fingers.

Neuvillette had never felt like this before. Maybe this has happened before, when you pressed against him too hard or when your kisses were longer than in the past, but each time he was slightly confused by the reaction of his body to your touch. And now his cock was straining even more than before. Is this what you called arousal?

— Wh-what do you mean? — Hydro Dragon answers uncertainly, obviously confused by your seemingly very intimate question.

— Oh, then I guess the answer is "no", — you chuckle softly before gently squeezing the impressive hard organ hidden under his trousers in your hand.

Had he always been so sensitive? Even when you touched his bare skin, it didn't feel as good as what you're doing now.

— You're so tense, Neuvi… relax, you don't have to do anything. At least this time, — you smile again, taking one last look at the confused man before your attention turns to his boots, which you hurriedly pull off his legs before you start fiddling with the zipper of Neuvillette's trousers.

The Chief Justice sees you about to pull off his trousers, and lifts his hips, resting his hands on your soft bed, sheepishly watching how the expression on your face turns to amazement when he finally remains completely naked in front of you.

— Oh, Archons… — you freeze, just looking at his cock, making Neuvillette even more nervous. Is there something you don't like? Is there something wrong with him? — I'm so happy that I got you.

— Ah?..

You would have been amused by another cute manifestation of Neuvillette's misunderstanding of your words if all your attention hadn't been stolen by the view unfolding in front of you between his tense legs. His cock shudders under your gaze, which examines every protruding vein that stretches along his impressive organ. For a second, you even had doubts about whether he could fit anywhere inside you, but your hands reached out to touch the hot, hard flesh, causing a new wave of goosebumps running through Neuvillette's body. Your petite palm slowly slides over his erection before stopping, allowing your thumb to touch the sensitive head, slightly glistening with drops of pre-ejaculate in the dim moonlight filtering through your bedroom windows. It seems so… wrong, but a man can't do anything about how your touch makes this warmth of an incomprehensible nature feel even brighter in his lower abdomen.

You lift your head, glancing at the slightly raised abs and heaving chest, the tense muscles of your forearms, before meeting his pursed lips and half-closed eyes, shamefacedly watching what obscenities are happening below. Neuvillette is amazing. Perhaps his conscience is eating him up for the fact that, as he probably thinks, he forced you to kneel in front of him, but he cannot resist the way his body reacts to your touch. So why not embarrass him even more?

Neuvillette's mother-of-pearl eyes open abruptly when you lower yourself to his cock and touch the salty head with your lips.

— Y/N, what are you doing?! — the man anxiously stretches out his hand, hesitantly touching your head.

— It's all right, Neuvi. I told you, just relax.

What you're going to do… aren't you disgusted? Why are you doing this? Neuvillette's head is just boiling with the abundance of thoughts tormenting him, and he wants to make one more attempt to stop you before his words melt on his tongue, replaced by a moan that even he hears from himself for the first time when you slowly immerse his cock in the warmth of your mouth. Your lips have always seemed incredibly soft to him, but now, when they wrap around his erection, they seem even more tender. The man's palm presses against his open lips, muffling all the sighs escaping from his throat. Neuvillette is really distraught. But this is not the confusion that tormented him when you asked him to take off your clothes, now he is puzzled as to why he can no longer control his own body, which turned out to be completely at the mercy of the pleasure that you give him. It seems that the deeper his cock penetrates your throat, the more sensitive Neuvillette becomes, unable to stop the trembling in his legs, which strive to close if not for your shoulders, which his hips now meet. But what's even worse is the way you look up at him, squinting slightly and grinning when you notice what a mess your lover is in.

It was enough for you to finally start acting more decisively.

Your head starts to rise and fall under Neuvillette's palm, tearing another sweet moan from his open lips.

Damn… It's too much. Neuvillette feels an unusual heat coming from the bottom of his stomach, which reduces him with delicious spasms that make him want to both make you stop and beg you to give him more. The tightness of your fragile throat wraps around his hard flesh so perfectly, and the warmth of your labored breath feels even more distinct as you pick up the pace, plunging him deep into your throat over and over again.

— Y/N… wait, I… — was the only thing Neuvillette could get out of himself before his words dissolved into soft moans again.

His hips trembled as you wrapped your arms around them, and his pelvis lifted slightly to meet the inexorable rocking of your head. It's like a tight knot tied in the very bottom of your stomach, ready to burst, as soon as you swallow his cock one more time, and for a moment Neuvillette feels fear under the pressure of an unknown feeling when he feels his cock swell in the tight walls of your throat. But you don't listen to him, sitting on his throbbing organ again, sending a fatal wave through his tense body. Neuvillette's long fingers instinctively squeeze your hair as his heated flesh shudders in your throat, and you feel hot sticky streams flowing down the far wall of your throat, and the man's legs tremble convulsively, pressing closer to your shoulders.

What's it?.. It was as if all the warmth that had been accumulating in Neuvillette's stomach had now spread under his skin, and his mind was clouded by a haze that drove any thoughts out of his head, except how damn pleasant this unfamiliar feeling was, lasting for some miserable moments.

Your tongue slides up the still-quivering member of the Supreme Court as you slowly pull it out of your mouth, carefully licking every drop of cum left on his semi-hard flesh. Neuvillette is still breathing heavily, trying to recover from the first orgasm of her life. His eyes are closed when you look up at him again, and his hand slips off your head.

— Neuvi? — as soon as his legs relax, you slide your hands along the inside of his thighs, lifting slightly to leave a kiss at the bottom of his stomach, causing the man to flinch and lazily open his eyes.

— Wh-what was that just now?.. — his voice sounds so quiet when Neuvillette finally starts talking, still trying to steady his breathing.

— Huh… Did I mention that you think too much? — you smile, suddenly getting back on your feet. — You don't mind continuing, do you?

Neuvillette rests his hands on the mattress again, watching from under heavy eyelids as you deliberately slowly pull your trousers down your legs, carefully stepping over the crumpled fabric on the floor before throwing the clothes somewhere to the side, remaining in front of him in only panties. For the first time, he can finally enjoy every curve of your stunning body, feeling the heat flare up inside him again, while he just remains a witness to how now you are doing the same with your underwear. Without clothes, you look even more fragile and small, but now… This view causes the Hydro Dragon not only to want to protect you, but also to touch you, to shower every millimeter of your skin with kisses… to possess you. Is this what people call lust?

This time, Neuvillette didn't need any prompting to instinctively understand that he needed to crawl further away on your bed, allowing you to gracefully climb on top of him. His cock has hardened again, trembling insistently under the pressure of your crotch, now comfortably settled on the throbbing flesh, when you press your palm on Neuvillette's chest, forcing the man to lie down. You look so gorgeous, towering over him just like that, that he can't resist the urge to touch you and stretches out his arms to wrap around your waist while you playfully smile, looking into the clouded eyes of the man below you, swaying slightly on his hips.

— Oh, aren't you embarrassed to touch me now? — you giggle as you gently wrap your arms around Neuvillette's wrists and move his palms onto your chest. — It all belongs to you, Neuvi.

The Chief Justice swallows hard before hesitantly squeezing the elastic flesh under his palms. Such… Soft. It felt even more tender than he had imagined, just looking at her in the hallway back then. And you said… Does it belong to him? Why does the realization of this make his heart almost ache in his chest, as if he does not deserve to have such a wonderful girl who managed to get into feelings for someone like him?

— Y/N…

You tilt your head in puzzlement, looking at Neuvillette, who now seems to be considering his next words again.

— I promise that I will take care of you.

You're almost ready to burst out laughing, but you hold back, smiling gently at your man, the only one in all of Teyvat who could say something like that at such a moment.

— Try your best, Monsieur Neuvillette, — you bend down to leave a short kiss on your lover's lips, forcing Neuvillette to lower his hands to your hips before you straighten up again, lifting slightly and reaching down to grab his cock.

Oh, he's even more excited than before. Although he believes that such intimacy is already familiar to him, at least in theory, but it is still something that Neuvillette has never had to deal with before. He feels the moisture oozing from your crotch touching his cock as you align his head with your entrance, starting to slowly sink onto the hard flesh. Your tight walls gradually envelop his throbbing organ, enveloping Neuvillette's flesh with an even more searing warmth compared to what he felt when you plunged his dick into your throat. The slippery walls seem to suck him deeper inside, again awakening in the body of the Hydro Dragon the same heat that had tormented his poor body only a few minutes ago. He wants to stifle his moans again, covering his lips with his hand, but Neuvillette only tightens his grip on your elastic hips, moving his gaze from the place where your bodies connect to your chest, heaving heavily in time with your labored breathing, thanks to which he can finally hear those lovely soft sighs escaping from your throat.

You lean back slightly on Neuvillette's hips, feeling his cock stretch and fill you to the limit. All the past fears that he was too big to fit inside suddenly evaporated, replaced by a pleasant shiver running down your spine when he finally enters to the end, gently colliding with your cervix, which makes the lust bubbling in the bottom of your stomach from the moment you entered your house boil even stronger.

When you finally start to slowly rise and fall on Neuvillette's cock, he finally begins to understand why people like sex so much. It feels completely different from what you did with him before. You feel so good inside and it's addictive. The walls of the vagina wrap so tightly around his cock when you impale yourself on it more insistently each time, and Neuvillette can feel you squeezing around him, sending more and more of these delicious impulses through his body. The man's gaze is riveted to the place where your bodies connect over and over again, never ceasing to amaze him with how his hard organ disappears so easily into your insides. The more your hips pick up the pace, the more distinct the sounds of skin hitting skin become, merging with Neuvillette's restrained sighs and your moans, which will forever remain in his memory.

You lean forward again, placing your hand on Neuvillette's neck, already too lost in pleasure to speak, bringing another smile to your face.

— Do you like it, Neuvi? — the tips of your two fingers slide along his chin, forcing the man to look at you from under half-closed eyelids. His lips are open, releasing more and more sweet sounds from Neuvillette's throat as you continue to rock up and down his length, feeling the blood pulsing in the veins running along his cock. — Don't hold back your lovely moans, I want to hear you.

Your vulgar words settle in sweet spasms in the lower abdomen of a man. You've always been much bolder and more direct than him in everything that concerns feelings and intimacy, and Neuvillette would like to return the favor. Therefore, now you feel more pressure on your hips when he begins to lift his hips towards your movements and push you down whenever you are about to descend on his dick again, driving it even deeper into your insides.

You've wanted this for so long, worrying every time that such an offer might alienate Neuvillette, but now, feeling your lover desperately pushing into you, chasing his own orgasm, you don't regret at all that you finally got the courage. Having completely lost all control over himself, Neuvillette breaks down into the very moans that you so wanted to hear. You never thought that his pleasure could turn you on so much, making you feel like you're already teetering on the edge.

What could be said about him.

Your voice has never sounded sweeter to him than now, when you whisper his name, pressing your forehead against his. The smell of your body, your hot breath blowing over his face, the tense muscles of your thighs under his hands — this is what, even without knowing it, Neuvillette also wanted for so long. Every time you shared another kiss with him, it seemed to him that it was so damn little, but he didn't know any other way to feel you even closer. But now that your bodies are so perfectly fused together, he understands what he really wanted. How can you wish for something you've never experienced? People are truly amazing… And Neuvillette finally got a little closer to understanding what it's like to be human.

Too blinded by the new sensations, Neuvillette didn't even notice how he got so damn close to the very feeling that you gave him earlier, but now it feels even brighter, even more intense, forcing the man to press harder on your hips, accelerating the pace. And at the moment when your lower abdomen is cramping with familiar spasms, you press your lips to his, allowing Neuvillette to feel your body tremble under the onslaught of pleasure spreading somewhere deep under your skin. Your lips taste even sweeter when you squeeze so tightly around his cock, pulling Neuvillette after you into the abyss. His hands hurriedly move to your back, pressing you even tighter against his body as he has his second orgasm of the day. Hot flesh pulsates inside your sensitive walls, gradually turning white with sticky drops of sperm, and you swallow each other's muffled moans, sharing this unearthly feeling for two.

You go limp, leaning on Neuvillette with all your weight, having to break the kiss to catch your breath. You hear his heavy sighs, almost in sync with yours, as you both bask in the echoes of your own climaxes, and you lift up slightly to look at Neuvillette's flushed face. The silver strands of his bangs are stuck to his forehead, and his lips are still slightly parted when he lazily opens his eyes, meeting your gaze.

— Y/N, I'm sorry, I seem to get carried away…

— Hush, it's okay, Neuvi, — your palm gently presses against his hot cheek, and you can't help but smile as you watch him awkwardly avert his gaze now. — Actually, I think you're learning pretty fast!

— Is that so? — the corners of Neuvillette's lips lift slightly as one of his palms gently slides up your back. — I suppose I had a good teacher.

— He-he, of course. Just don't get cocky, I still have a lot to teach you!

Neuvillette suddenly looks at you in surprise again.

— A lot?

— Yeah, — your face takes on a fake serious look. — Do you really want to continue the course of human carnal pleasures today?

You laugh, lightly pinching Neuvillette's cheek before you start to lift off his body, but you are stopped by his hands, still holding you in his embrace. When you cast a questioning glance at Neuvillette, you are suddenly met again by an expression full of unshakeable seriousness, forever stuck to his face.

— I… won't refuse.

[redslug]

Helping Neuroslug help me

Admittedly it took me an embarrassing amount of time to figure out and start using inpainting, but now that I've had a taste of it my head is spinning with possibilities. And so I'm making this post to show the process and maybe encourage more artists to try their hand at generating stuff. It really can can be an amazing teammate when you know how to apply it. For those who didn't see my first post on this, I've trained an AI on my artworks, because base Stable Diffusion doesn't understand what anthropomorphic insects are. That out of the way, here we go:

I noticed that a primarily character focused LoRA often botches backgrounds (probably because few images of the dataset have them) so I went with generating a background separately and roughly blocking out a character over it in Procreate. Since it was a first experiment I got really generous with proper shading and even textures. Unsurprisingly, SD did it's job quite well without much struggle.

Basically masked out separate parts such as fluff, skirt, watering can, etc. and changed the prompt to focus on that specific object to add detail. There were some bloopers too. She's projecting her inner spider.

Of course it ate the hands. Not inpainting those, it's the one thing I'll render correctly faster than the AI does. Some manual touchups to finish it off and voila:

The detail that would have taken me hours is done in 10-20 minutes of iterating through various generations. And nothing significant got lost in translation from the block out, much recommend. But that was easy mode, my rough sketch could be passed off as finished on one of my lazier days, not hard to complete something like that. Lets' try rough rough.

I got way fewer chuckles out of this than I expected, it took only 4-5 iterations for the bot to offer me something close to the sketch.

>:C It ate the belly. I demand the belly back. Scribble it in...

Much better. Can do that with any bit actually, very nice for iterating a character design.

Opal eyes maybe?

Lol

Okay, no, it's kind of unsettling. Back to red ones. Now, let's give her thigh highs because why not?

It should be fancier. Give me a lace trim.

Now we're talking. Since we've started playing dress-up anyway, why not try a dress too. Please don't render my scribble like a trash bag. I know you want to.

Phew

I crave more details.

Cute. Perhaps I'll clean it up later. ... .. . SHRIMP DRESS

[spaceorphan18]

Bridgerton Season 3 Favorite Quotes : For God's sake, Penelope Featherington. Are you going to marry me or not?

This season has some incredible dialogue - some amazingly beautiful speeches (not just Colin, Pen, too!) to some of the most hilarious zingers (insert? insert where?) and I keep coming back around this. This ridiculous and amazing proposal.

Obviously the carriage scene is brilliant. And I will not downplay the first 90% of it. But these last few minutes are probably my favorite part of the season.

The thing is that it kind of all starts with this moment here. The thing about Colin in this season is that once he realizes he has feelings for Penelope, and once he kind of works through them, and then - here after the carriage ride and the fact getting to the point that he understands she has feelings back, he's done. That's it 100% I'm here for this woman and this woman only and the. end.

And yeah, he was pretty gone before all of this, but him understanding her feelings are the same -- just solidifies it. And I love that after they stop, after they reaffirm they weren't just horny at each other (and don't get me wrong, they were). You can see him think through - yeah, I'm marrying this one. She's my person.

And it just speaks to the both of them. I find it so refreshing that Colin is not beating around the bush with his feelings. He wears his heart on his sleeve. He'd scream it from the mountain tops if he could that he was in love with her. So, of course he isn't going to wait.

And it plays into their dynamic, and the story being told so well. They've been best friends for so long. There's no need to repress how they feel about each other. The assurance of love is never in doubt, no matter how messy it's going to get in part two (or whatever in the future).

And, also interestingly, it's one of the few times in the season that Colin is carrying the dynamic. Most of the time this season, Pen is carrying the power in the relationship (which is totally fine -- especially since we spent two seasons of watching her just devastatingly pine for him).

But the beauty of the proposal is that she does not know what's about to happen. She's still trying to figure out what the hell just happened. She's overwhelmed and still processing. She thinks, when he asks her to follow him, they're going to get busy up in Bridgerton house, and god, she'll do it, too. What she doesn't expect is that HE'S FUCKING GOING TO ASK HER TO MARRY HIM. And as an audience, we've waited with her for so long that it's just, so goddamn magical that it takes my breath away.

Meanwhile, they are the romantic ones, and yet they almost subvert their own trope. You'd think Colin would be over the top planning something, and maybe under certain circumstances he would be. But he's just so damn smug and cheeky about it. It's playful, it's warm, it's plays into the fact that they've probably had similar exchanges before. And I love that. I love that in a season of some of the most romantic speeches (including all the pontificating he did earlier in the same damn scene) he just gets to the heart of it.

Because that's where his heart is. And he's so fucking sure that's where her heart is, too. He is one step ahead of her, and wants to play that up, and gets a little joy out of seeing her light up with surprise and shock and wonder and love.

It's so brilliant. It's so amazingly done, I could probably talk about this line for ages. My god, I love it.

[dreamescapeswriting]

Unexpected Blessings ~ LMH

WORD COUNT:2.8 k

GENRE: accidentally pregnant by another member, cute, fluffy, shocking, Minho being a supportive boyfriend, NON IDOL!

PAIRING: Minho x Fem!Reader

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - March 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

A/N: I tried to change this up a bit, I hope it comes out the way you were expectiting.

As you stood outside of the doctor's building unease began to weave its way through to your brain, nitpicking at everything you'd been doubting for the last few weeks.

"We can turn back anytime," Minho promised, his hand on your power back rubbing it in small circles as you thought about it. 

The two of you had been struggling to conceive for a while now and this was the best doctor in the fertility world. Someone who was renowned for his successful pregnancies in couples that hadn't been able to have a baby before.

"I want this," You told him, your voice barely coming out above a whisper as you slowly walked into the building. Today was going to be a good day, you were determined to go through with this. Besides, it was just going to be a series of small injections for the next few months so you would be more fertile.

After filing in forms and waiting for not even five minutes you were already taken through to a small office area where Dr Matthews was waiting. For someone who was world-renowned, he didn't seem that busy with many patients but you weren't going to slam him for it. The quicker you were seen the faster you could get pregnant and finally have your and Minho's child.

"Thank you for coming in, Yn, Minho. I understand you're struggling to conceive?" He gestured for you to sit across from him and you took Minho's hand in yours.

"We've been trying with no luck, we started to lose hope until someone told us about your practice."

"Your hormonal injections, my friend Laurie had it a few months back," You told him with a small smile, you could still remember the day she told you she was pregnant, practically bouncing off the walls at work.

"Medicine has come a long way, I know you've been seeing a few nurses so I'll check over their notes and we can start with the first procedure." He smiled warmly at you before walking into an adjoining room and leaving you and Minho alone.

"We're going to have a baby," Minho whispered excitedly to you, his heart hammering against his chest at the thought of finally having a child with you. It had been all the two of you had dreamt about for months now and it was finally going to happen.

"We shouldn't tell anyone what we're doing until we're sure it works though," You told him, you didn't want to get any of your friend's hopes up in case it didn't work. 

"Sure. Maybe we can do an announcement party," Minho seemed over the moon about everything and it only made you love him more for it. 

"Miss YLN, Come right through. I'll set you up." A nurse said with a pleasant smile, opening the door for you and letting you walk inside.

"You might feel a slight pinch but other than that this will be completely pain-free." The nurse explained as you sat on one of the beds, your legs apart and staring at the ceiling. You'd done this a million times before in doctors' appointments but every time you still felt awkward about it.

"Does this procedure have a good outcome for couples who have trouble to conceive?" You asked, mostly trying to avoid any silence in the room.

"I would say so, almost every couple I do this for end up pregnant." She giggled, and your eyes squeezed shut as you felt the pinch she'd referred to, followed by her smile.

"Done. See, quick and painless." She announced, peeling off the gloves and throwing everything into a bin.

"Just wait for a few more minutes before you join your boyfriend and you'll be good to go."

"Don't I need to book another appointment?" You frowned, the injections were supposed to be once a month, 

"Oh, right. Sure. Arrange that with the receptionist." She said with a smile but you could have sworn you'd seen a flash of confusion on her face but she was quick to leave the room.

"Weird," Minho laughed as he walked into the room after she left, a frown on his face as he came over to kiss you on the top of the head.

"I've never seen a nurse run before, did you yell at her for hurting you?" He teased, but you shook your head at him.

"Didn't even hurt, maybe a slight pinch." You shrugged a little and laid your head back on the seat, smiling at the thought of finally getting your chance at being a family. 

This was going to be your last attempt before the two of you would foster kids, deciding that if you couldn't get pregnant it was a sign to give another kid a chance instead. 

As a month passed following the procedure you began to feel weaker, you put it down to the injections taking it out of you but it had been a month since your first one and you hadn't heard about a second one yet.

"I was thinking we could all hire out a restaurant," Jisung said as you walked into the room, you, he and Minho were all planning a birthday party for your shared friend but you had to admit your mind was off elsewhere. Mostly trying to focus on everything around you since a wave of dizziness had just washed over you.

"Babe? You okay?" Was all you heard before everything went black, Jisung was up in a flash to check on you and Minho was already calling an ambulance. 

"Did she take anything?" Jisung asked as he looked down at you, he sat you between his legs and Minho shook his head.

"She had some fertility treatment a month ago, we've been trying to get another appointment but we're getting ignored." He grumbled angrily if the doctor had done anything to put you in any kind of danger he was going to have their head on a stick, 

At the hospital, medical staff quickly attended to you, running all kinds of tests to determine what was going on and why you'd suddenly collapsed.

"I want to go home." You told Minho as you sat up in the bed, it had been hours of tests and blood work taken and no one was telling you anything but Minho was boiling with anger. The thought of something happening to you because of some injection was sending him wild.

"What if there's something wrong with the injection? That because of their negligence you're going to be sick?" He ran his hand over your cheek and you sighed a little, you hated to think of it but you knew he was right. There could be anything wrong with you now and you needed to get to the bottom of it whether you liked it or not.

"Yn, Minho, we've finally got some results." A doctor said as he walked into the room, a giant grin on his face.

"I believe congratulations are in order." He said as if that made his announcement any clearer to the two of you, you changed a bewildered look with Minho and shook your head.

"What?" Minho frowned, neither of you having any idea what he was talking about.

"You're pregnant." The two words you would have given anything to hear months ago that seemed damn near impossible now.

"N...No, that can't be right," You laughed, more nervously than anything else. The treatment wasn't finished yet and there was no way that you could have been pregnant after one injection.

"This has to be some kind of joke, I haven't finished my treatment plan." You shook your head at him, laughing in disbelief.

"I assure you, this is no joke. The tests are conclusive. You're expecting a baby." You stared at him and then back at Minho.

"We're having a baby..." You whispered to him, but how was it possible? You were told it wasn't going to be a sure thing until your third and final injection but now you were expecting?

"We need to go and see Dr Matthews." You told Minho, your hand squeezing his as he nodded in agreement. Something wasn't sitting right with any of you.

"A mistake!?" Minho screamed at Dr Mattews as you sat across from him, your mind was still trying to process what he had just said to you.

"Yes. It happens, communication somehow lacks and then mistakes happen." He said with a small smile as if any of this could ever be entertaining to anybody.

"A mistake is forgetting to pick up your lunch. A mistake is accidentally knocking something over!" Minho seethed, his face red with anger.

"A mistake is not impregnating my girlfriend with someone else sperm!" The statement finally sank in as you stared down at the name plaque on Dr Mattews desk. 

You were pregnant something you should have been over the moon about but you were pregnant with someone else's baby.

Someone you didn't know.

Someone who wasn't your boyfriend.

"I'm so so sorry! It was a mix-up, I never meant for this to happen." Dr Mattews pleaded with you both but it didn't change what happened, you were pregnant with someone else's kid and your heart shattered for Minho.

"Who's is it?" You finally spoke out, your voice cracking since your throat was so dry, you stared at Dr Mattews.

"I can't disclose that." He grumbled, shaking his head as if he had any place to stand in all of this. He was lucky you weren't taking him to the police for what had happened to you.

"You shouldn't have had your hack nurse get her pregnant but here we are." Minho hissed at him, the man was quick to run through your notes, finding the folder and flicking through it.

"A man named Han Jisung." The rest of the world seemed to go quiet as Dr Matthews told you that you couldn't tell the man about any of it.

"It's a friend of ours," Minho said defeatedly, sitting back in the chair as his heart sank at the mention of your long-term friend.

"I'm deeply sorry, it was a terrible mistake on our part. The nurse who did the procedure is long gone." Dr Matthews continued to blabber on but your mind was still stuck on the fact that you were carrying Jisung's child.

"Out of all the people in the world." You scoffed, walking back to your car hand in hand with Minho who was laughing a little.

"What do we do?" You asked, your eyes falling onto him as he took in a deep breath.

"I don't know, but we'll figure it out together. Like we always do." He promised you. With heavy hearts you got into the car, trying to figure out a way to tell Jisung the truth about all of this. He had a right to know after all. 

Despite everything you decided it was best for Jisung to know as soon as possible about it all, that he deserved to know if he was going to be a dad but you had no idea how to bring it up. 

The three of you were sitting at your place having some tea together as you tried to come up with a way to approach the topic without sounding insane.

"Jisung, have you ever sold your sperm?" Minho asked suddenly, you spat out your tea and stared at him, kicking him from where you were sitting.

"W...What? Why would you ask me that?" He laughed feeling uneasy about where this was all coming from,

"It's just a question." Minho shrugged before you sighed, putting down your glass and shaking your head.

"I'm pregnant." You announced but not in the way Jisung had been expecting, he thought you would have been over the moon about it.

"It's yours." You whispered, slowly sliding him the piece of paper with all of his information on it, something you'd had to seriously persuade Dr Matthews to give to you. Biting down on your lip you slowly took Minho's hand in yours and began to explain everything to Jisung about the mix-up and he listened attentively the whole time.

"Wow, I...I don't even know what to say. T...Thanks for telling me," He stared at you with a different look in his eyes,

"We understand it's a lot to take in, we're still trying to process it ourselves." Minho chuckled anxiously and you nodded.

"No, no, it's okay. Actually, I feel honoured. Honored to be a part of this child's life in any way I can." You stared at him, in complete shock.

"What?" You whispered, Minho squeezed your hand a little.

"You want to be involved?" He stared at his best friend who nodded, a smile tugging onto the corners of his lips.

"Absolutely. I may not have expected this, but now that I know, I want to be there for him...or her." He said, his smile growing wider while your heart sank.

"Will you try and take him from us?" Your voice trembled and Jisung's smile dropped as he realised what it must have sounded like he wanted.

"I meant...I want to be a godfather, an uncle, whatever you need me to be." Relief washed over you both as you stared at him, completely touched by his generosity.

"Thanks, Jisung. It means a lot." Minho smiled before hugging his friend. All of you starting to discuss what this all meant for you all, it was completely unconventional but you couldn't wait to start your family together. 

As the years passed and your child grew, you, Minho, and Jisungforged a strong bond rooted in love, trust, and shared experiences. Jisung had become an integral part of your lives, serving not only as a godfather but also as a trusted friend and confidant. Your son always called him Uncle Jisung, finding someone to go to if he ever needed it and felt as though he couldn't come to you or Minho about it. Tonight, you and Minho found yourselves in need of a babysitter for your son. While you were initially hesitant to leave your child in Jisung's care, you couldn't deny the genuine connection he had formed with your family over the years.

"I don't know, Minho. Are you sure we should leave him with Jisung? What if something happens?" You knew it was unlikely that anything would go wrong in the space of four hours but you were nervous about everything. Minho placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder, his eyes filled with confidence and trust.

"He has proven time and time again that he's responsible and caring. We can trust him with our son." He reminded you, you nodded, still feeling a twinge of anxiety, but knowing deep down that Minho was right. You walked into the living room to find Jisung already sitting with your son getting the movies ready on the TV.

He'd come round with blankets and lots of snacks to have a movie night with him.

"Are you ready for some fun with Uncle Jisung?" He yelled out, your son beamed up at him, his excitement palpable as he eagerly nodded his head.

"Thank you for doing this, Jisung. We really appreciate it." You smiled warmly, it was going to be your first date in a long time and you had to say you were a little nervous about that.

"Of course, Yn. You know I love spending time with him. Everything will be fine, I promise."

With a final reassuring smile, you and Minho bid farewell to your son and headed out for your evening, trusting in the bond you had forged with Jisung and the love that surrounded your family.

As you enjoyed your time together, you couldn't shake the feeling of apprehension lingering in the back of your mind. But with each passing moment, you found yourself relaxing, reassured by the knowledge that your son was in capable and caring hands.

When you returned home later that evening, you found your son fast asleep, a contented smile on his face. Jisung greeted you both with a grin, his eyes sparkling with pride.

"He was an absolute angel. You have nothing to worry about." Tears of gratitude welled up in your eyes as you embraced Jisung, overwhelmed by the depth of the bond you shared and the unwavering support he had provided to your family. With tears of joy streaming down your cheeks, you whispered, 

"Thank you, Jisung. Thank you for always being there for us." Jisung returned the embrace, his own eyes glistening with emotion. 

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[ravenromanova]

Kitten

Parings- Natasha x female reader

warnings ⚠️ - SMUT!! mdni! 18+ mommy kink, fingering, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, nicknames (kitten,mommy), Top!Natasha, Bottom!reader

Main masterlist - Send me requests!!

(If this post an the others i post feel a little familiar its because im reposting them from my old account)

your p.o.v

  As the sun peaked through the window of the room around me i slowly come to rubbing my eyes. I lay there til my alarm goes off because i always end up waking up before it anyways so i just sit til it goes off. The room is filled by the sound of my alarm as it goes off and i reluctantly turn it off slipping out of my bed. Before i go and get ready for my day i make my bed placing the black and red pillows on top of the black sheets and comforter. After i straighten up my bed i groggly walk into my bathroom doing my routine consisting of brushing my teeth and hair, throwing my hair in a braid, very light makeup and whatever training clothes my eyes land on.

   Once im content with how i look i make my way out of my room and walk into the kitchen of the Avengers tower. I make my way over to the fresh pot of coffee that instantly brews more coffee once the old pot is done courtesy of Mr. Anthony Stark. After i finish making my coffee i walk over to the fridge staring in whats in it trying to decide what i want. 5 minutes go by when i suddenly feel two petite hands rest on my waist. As the smirk starts to form on my lips im suddenly overcome by chills as the person whispers into my ear.

"good morning kitten." she says completely taking me aback as my breathe hitches and i turn to face her my hands now in the same place that hers are resting. " good morning to you to Ms widow." i say the smirk growing more and more upon my lips. Me and nat have been together for well over a year but kept it a secret. Its only recently been that we've started to show a little more PDA around the group to kinda ease them into the idea of us being together. Its just been a little hand holding here and there along with sweet kisses on the cheek and maybe some casual sexual remarks as well. But in all honesty no one has asked anything about what is going on with us which is a surprise.

    Me and nat just stand in that position for what seems like forever but in reality its been like 5 minutes but thats the affect nat has on me. I swear whenever we are together i forget everything bad ive ever went through. Me and her went through the same thing... the red room. We met in training and we started sparring all the time to the point where we were perfectly in sync. Eventually that lead to us being partnered up together whenever they needed us. Since we were together so much feelings evolved faster than we could understand but thats what happens when you are in captivity with someone for over 2 decades. After nat escaped the red room and joined the avengers she had asked Director Fury to help locate and find me. Natasha tried to find me once she left but she had no luck so she enlisted help from the Director and the Avengers to help her do so. Once they found me and natasha came into the room where i was held she saw me as a shell of the person i once was. What natasha didnt know was that after she escaped the red room they had attempted to find her through me. They did everything in their power to try to get me to give up where she was but i didnt know. They eventually gave up and just used me as a punching bag for whenever they were mad because a mission went south.

   But after nat found me and i joined the Avengers i started working on what i had been through and getting through it the best i could nat being the one to really get me through it. All the feelings came back once we started sparring with each other again and one drunken hook up lead to the most amazing relationship me or nat have ever known. It was complete and udder bliss anytime we kissed, our hands touched and dont even get me stated on her eyes her beautiful fucking eyes that i could get lost in forever and just not care.

"kitten?" she said looking at me confused since i just stood there daydreaming "you okay my love?" she questions again as i regain my thoughts.

" yes baby im okay i was just thinking about us and how much i love you and just everything about you" i say gripping her waist a little tighter and bringing her as close as possible before placing a passionate kiss on her lips.

" everything you say? how about we ditch training and you show me how much you really love me." she says looking at me with i can only describe as siren eyes. i swear this woman could get me to do anything she wants just by giving me that look. as i stare as her in complete shock at how bold shes being i just shake my head til it almost rolls off my neck and with that she pulls me upstairs to my room.

  We make it upstairs and before i can even speak she pushes me onto the bed straddling me her legs on each side of me. She doesnt waste anytime as she tears the clothes from my body and throws them on the floor. Almost instantly she starts attacking my neck leaving all kinds of marks on me not caring if they are able to be seen or not.

" baby please dont tease me." i say breathlessly and i move her hand down to my underwear and directing her hand where i want it to be. Again she wastes no time as she rips off my underwear and spreading my legs and looking in between them with a hungry look in her eyes. She kisses my thighs and leaves marks as i move underneath her in pleasure. She takes her fingers and runs them up and down my core i jump slightly when she does at the feeling of her ice cold fingers. Eventually she attaches her mouth to my most sensitive spot and starts sucking as she adds to fingers in me.

" OH FUCK BABY!" i shout at the suddenness of her actions and i can already feel myself getting to my climax as she keeps going. I grab her hair in my hand and start grinding my hips against her face earning a moan from natasha. she adds a third finger and my insides really go crazy this time as she licks me and keeps pumping in and out of me hitting all the right spots all at once.

" right there baby... d-dont stop please" i manage to choke out in between my already hard breaths.

" you like when i fuck you like this kitten? hmm? you like that huh?" she says coming up to my face as she attacks my neck again while still going in and out of me. i shake my head eagerly

"words kitten use your words or else mommy doesnt know if shes pleasing you the way she should be. so now be a good girl and use that pretty mouth and speak." as she says that i can feel myself getting close to my climax. she has never spoken to me like that and i want her to all the time now.

" yes mommy it feels so good. im so close for you please dont stop." i say basically panting as i try to spit the words out wanting her keep going.

" thats such a good girl using your words for me." she says going back in between my thighs going back to sucking my spot and i grab her hair again bucking my hips as if ive never felt her fuck me before. she starts pumping into me again and i can feel myself clench around her fingers

" oh i can feel you getting close baby. you gonna cum for me? gonna be a good girl?" she asks me as i grip the sheets as tight as possible

" yes baby i-im gon-im gonna c-CUM!" i scream as i reach my climax my back arching as i sit there panting and dripping in sweat. she licks her fingers clean after i finished. she goes to get a towel to clean me up but i put it on the bed and bring her close to me instead

" that was amazing" i say placing a kiss on her lips

" but i thought i was supposed to show YOU how much I loved you." i laugh as i say to the red haired beauty in front of me.

" yea well i couldnt help myself my dominate side took over as soon as i saw you in the kitchen" she says kissing my forehead as i smile

" come on let me clean you up kitten." she says grabbing the towel and cleaning me up. after that i get dressed in clean clothes and we spend the night in our own world.

" i love you (y/n)" she says taking my hand into hers

" i love you more nat" i say cuddling into her.

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