#and part of that is that it's really not capable to read it as a romance (certainly not a happy one) despite there being queer pairs in it

[anantaru]

synopsis. you got alhaitham to tutor you, although he uses a method you weren't quite expecting, ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ cw, fingering, soft dom alhaitham, petnames used: good girl, fem! reader ᰔ

"repeat that paragraph, that one, read it to me," shuddered and twisted, you weakly nod back at alhaitham's words, the veil of lust drawing across his face.

you admire his honed jaw and poised tone, the perfect shade of red on his cheeks, no trace of imperfections except a lustre ignite of fire shaped inside the yearning in his eyes.

for now, you were only capable to re-read half of the paragraph as he digs the finger deeper inside before curling it, curling it hard, nudging your puffy cunt as you close your eyes at the impact, alternating between squeezing his hand with your thighs and parting your legs in obvious invitation.

alhaitham continues to lightly stroke over your searing walls, tracing his way further until you squirm at the mind-altering press on your cunt, your hole clenching around the digit, holding the finger in for him to never leave you, "yeah, good girl— ugh, but what else? that's not all," he grins as you sneakily ride his hand, his cock hardening inside his pants.

you rest your head on his shoulder, your focus forced on holding onto the book as good as you could.

you attempt to continue, founding it to be futile when he fucks you with a precision that quickened your blood.

"what else do you got for me?" he repeats.

"c-can we just forget about studying already?" you attempt to reason, stuttering over your words, "you know i can't— i want more," as you cough out and squirm, your hips shifting forward so your clit could grind against the heel of his hand ever so often, "i can't focus like this,"

you were correct, in fact, you were certain no one in all of sumeru could ever focus on a single task when a man such as alhaitham himself, no matter how aggravating at times, would look at someone with such hunger in his eyes, a gaze filled to perpetual sharpness.

you do not want him to stop, you want him to do more.

"you seem to enjoy it," the confidence in his tone could not be any clearer, "very much."

he tilts his head to look at you, the brush of his lips against your cheek making you whimper, the following scrape of his teeth hovering against your jawline tempting out a shiver after such tenderness.

a sensual thrust of his hand repeatedly curls and digs into you, knocking the air from your lungs as you clench as strongly as you could around a single digit, his finger rubbing just so against the furthest, most delicious spots of your walls that it increased the force and pressure on your tight belly from the inside.

how long until you break?

his finger wiggles inside, the touch exquisitely precise, awfully confident, and you found yourself in an inescapable position, impossible to hold yourself back from sinking into the sensation of feeling him. just having him touch you.

"you want me to put another finger?" he kisses your cheek tenderly.

your skin holds against sweat and desperation, tickling the hairs on your skin as a satisfactory pleasure could be felt ebbing and flowing through the entirety of your body.

"yes, please another," you breathe, greeting the scribe with a little more than soft excitement in your voice— but you sounded so angelic to him, your voice silk alike, drowning in a river of solace.

shameless in his doings, alhaitham smirks against you, his lips a hairbreadth away from your ear, "really? you think you got that?"

you nod in certain ecstasy, keeping one hand wrapped around his wrist as he pleasures you, stretching and burning into your hole.

the scribe remains confident in wanting to embed his touch, all of it, on you— not only that but his scent too, he needs your body to pick it up until his aura webs all over your most delicate spots naturally, nothing comparing to the feeling of fullness he gives you.

©2024 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[morganski-19]

Chills Right to the Marrow Part 8

part 1, prev part

The hallway is empty when Dustin leaves the room. Steve and Lucas nowhere to be seen, Mrs. Mayfield gone somewhere else. Leaving Dustin alone to wander.

He doesn’t quite know what he wants. Where he’s going. Just following the path he would normally travel each day. Bouncing between rooms, looking for something to do.  Trying to find someone who would talk to him. Give him something to take his mind off the train tracks it’s bound to.

He grips the book in his hand, feeling the familiarity of wore out pages. Each one loved as he read and reread them over and over again. That’s what he does when he needs comfort. Goes back to the same story over and over again, to a world where he knows every outcome. Where there are no more mysteries. Dustin knows the answer to every question, every possibility.

It’s why he chose it to read to Eddie. It was a book the both of them loved, brought them joy in the darkness of life. He wanted Eddie to feel safe while his body was asleep. Knowing that some coma patients can hear what’s going around them. Even if it doesn’t register, it brings comfort on a subconscious level that there are people here supporting him.

At least that’s what Dustin hoped would happen, what he was striving to do. But he can’t do that today. There’s someone outside telling him that he can’t be in Eddie’s room right now. That something’s going on inside.

He goes right to thinking of the worst. That they are preparing him for some surgery that will probably delay the day he wakes up. Take more time from Dustin. Or maybe Eddie is dead behind those walls. Body finally succumbing to his wounds. His brain activity finally faded away. Leaving Dustin with the misplaced hope that it would all be ok.

He continues to wander into the waiting area. Seeing a familiar face getting a cup of shitty hospital coffee. Dustin must look confused, as Wayne’s face immediately looks concerned when he sees him.

“You alright kid,” he asks, stirring his coffee.

Dustin blinks. “They wouldn’t let me go into Eddie’s room.”

“Yeah, they’re working on him right now. Taking out his breathing tube.”

Panic fills Dustin, the only reaction he’s capable of right now. “Is he ok. That’s a good thing right?”

Wayne sets a steady hand on Dustin’s shoulder. “Yes, that’s a good thing. Why don’t you go sit down, you seem like somethin’s upsetting you.”

Dustin lets Wayne lead him to an empty chair, taking the one beside him. Quiet, letting Dustin be the one to start talking about it. He doesn’t really know how to. Wayne’s been through enough already, he doesn’t need to go through his things too.

Now that he has things to go through.

This was so much easier when things worked out for him. When Will was found and ok. When all his friends made it out of the tunnels underground. When it wasn’t him who lost people, but he could be there to help the ones who did.

He's seen so many people go through the hospital. They always got better in the end, that was good. Why is it so hard during the wait for them to get better? Why does the hope leave him more and more each day? He was the happy one, the one with all the jokes. Helping everyone else out, making sure they smiled.

Who’s going to cheer them up now that the smile can’t seem to return to his face?

“Do you remember Max Mayfield? she lived across from you and Eddie in the trailer park.” Dustin says when the words finally form in his mouth.

Wayne nods. “I do. She a good friend of yours?”

“Yeah,” Dustin plays with the bent cover of his book. “Yeah, she is, one of my best friends. We’ve known her ever since she moved to town back in middle school. She's in a room down the hall from Eddie.”

Wayne looks at Dustin like he understands where this is going. Maybe he does. Or maybe he’s just used to the hospital life after all this time. “Figured, saw her mom here a few times. She doin’ ok?”

Ok isn’t the right word, but Dustin can’t speak for how she feels. He can only speak for himself. And he is definitely not ok. “She’s blind.”

The words feel more crushing now that they’re said out loud.

A sob escapes from Dustin’s chest. The crushing feeling he’s had for weeks finally breaking free. Everything coming out at once in this hospital waiting room. His face falls into his hands, palms pressing into his eyes. Trying to keep the tears inside.

A hand pats his back, comforting him while he breaks. Helping him through this pain. Someone he barely knows but feels so safe around. Silently telling him that everything will be ok. That he will be ok.

Someone else comes and crouches in front of Dustin, placing a hand on his arm. “Hey, what happened?”

Dustin blinks the tears away enough to see Steve looking at him. “What do you think?”

He nods. “Why don’t I take you home, it’s already been a lot today.”

“What, no, I didn’t get to visit Eddie yet today. I have to read him the next chapter.” Dustin pulls himself to sit straighter, making himself look more put together. Tears still running down his cheeks.

“I think Eddie would understand if you missed a day. He would want you to take care of yourself.”

“He’s right,” Wayne agrees. Gently glaring at Steve, but still agreeing. “He wouldn’t want you to strain yourself for his sake.”

Why does everyone keep making decision for Dustin’s benefit? Do they even know what they’re talking about?

Still, Dustin lets Steve bring him home. His mind still stuck in that waiting room with the world falling down around him. Looking through the window doing nothing but add to his feeling. The peaceful outside now rampant with destruction.

The town was broken into pieces. People moved around between the shelters and the hospitals. Some even brought outside of the town to different hospitals in the area. It finally hits Dustin how much of this actually concerns him. How much it always concerned him.

How that kid he used to be kept smiling, he doesn’t quite know anymore. How he was still able to smile a week ago, he doesn’t know. With all that’s happened, with all his friends are going through, he thought he needed to bring levity to it all. Bring the hope that things could get better.

Hope is a dangerous thing. It makes people believe in something that might not happen. Makes him believe that the scars will fade, and the injuries will heal. That his friends will be exactly the same as he knew them last week. A year ago. Two years ago. When they first met.

He’s not even the same as he was a week, a year, two years ago. Somehow, foolishly he thought that life could move on from this. That the upside down would become nothing but a pin in the greater picture of his life. That down the line, when he’s married and maybe has a kid or two of his own, he wouldn’t have to think about it anymore.

Now, it’s become more real than he’s ever thought of before. Now, he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to sleep the same again. The nightmares won’t leave with age. His friends will never become less scarred. His mind won’t be as scarred. His childhood will never be just his childhood. A part of it will always be captured by these memories. Memories that he can hope to only repress.

Dustin will have the privilege to walk away after all of these years without as little of a scar. He has what, a sprained ankle, and that’s it. Max is blind, Will’s lungs are damaged from extended time in the upside down. Lucas, Erica, and Mike are completely traumatized by what they’ve seen. By what they’ve been through.

Dustin is traumatized by what he’s seen. By what he’s been through. He’s always said that his was so much better than everyone else’s. That he was the least effected, so it was ok to diminish it.

He’s now realizing how stupid it was to think like that.

Note: Back to the Wayne POV in the next part. All of Dustin's POV will also be uploaded to ao3

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[cosmic-ghost-hermit]

Hey everyone! I have starting working with Apollo on all of my readings. Also come join my divination discord. Take what resonates and leave all that doesn't behind. Enjoy the shadow work 🩵

PILE ONE

Crystal: Smokey Quartz

Astrology: Taurus, Libra, Capricorn, Sagittarius

Vibes: 💘🌎💙🧿🩷🧠🫐🛼💎🎀♿️🏳️‍⚧️💗💦🎟️🪼🦋🌸🌷🧵💅🏽🥶🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿💕🌊🛝🪬

Hello, pile one. You have a considerable rocky relationship with love. It’s pretty obvious you have been taking a major break from romance all together. Your efforts towards loving yourself have not gone unnoticed by the universe. You have slowly been building up your self confidence. Unfortunately, I also see you still long for the old relationships you used to be in. This person you are longing for has some scorpio placements. My dear when you were with them it was you who was doing all the loving. You held up a two person job by yourself. Why do you think you were so exhausted after it ended? You were doing everything for this person. It’s going to take a while for this to click in your mind just how dependant this person was on you. That’s perfectly alright. Take your time with this healing. There is no need to rush your progress. Take a deep breath and acknowledge your progress so far. You are strong and have been persevering without that person. Look at how much more peaceful it is without them. Once you have fully realized your worth I see something wonderful being your reward. I see this probably having something to do with a career you want deeply. I wish you luck on your self-love journey, friend. The universe will support you along the way.

PILE TWO

Crystal: Yooperlite

Astrology: Cancer, Gemini, Pisces, Aquarius

Vibes: 🤎💚⚰️🪚📻⏳🕰️📗🏈🍺🥜🥥🍐🪴🍂🪵🏔️🦇🧳🍀👩🏾‍🦳🍩🪲👒🇮🇪🥾🍈🍾🌰🧋🥝🟤

Hi, pile two. Welcome to your reading. You got an extra card which tells me your messages are a bit complex and should be read with nuance. Love is a daunting task to you. Your relationship with love has been heavily affected by your childhood. Your parents were not kind to you. I see you were often treated as a scapegoat. Which has convinced you that you are this awful monster who can never be forgiven. At some point it looks like you claimed this role that was forced upon you. Started wearing it as a badge of honor and playing the part along with it. I understand this perspective a lot myself. What confuses me is you are actually a really sweet and compassionate person underneath all that. You don’t like playing this mean role that you were taught to be. That’s not who you are. Until you were taught to embody the shadows of others you were as harmless as a kitten. I still think you are as harmless as a kitten to be honest. The cards tell me even when you put on this persona you are just showing off your bark. You would never bite. You can talk a big game but you hate doing it. I have some really good news my dear. You don’t have to play anymore. You can drop the act. You are completely capable of cutting out this persona and getting to know your true self. Once you accept this love will not seem as scary. You will feel more capable and vulnerable with your partners. I wish you luck in love, my friend. I’m rooting for you!

PILE THREE

Crystal: Quartz

Astrology: Virgo, Leo, Aries, Scorpio

Vibes: 🖤💛🔏🔑🌻🏁🕷️🐝😎🍯🎱🍳🌤️🌼☀️🍌🥥♟️📣🔌⚱️💣🔔🗝️⚜️♠️🎷🏆🚧

Hey there, pile three. I’m so sorry you have to feel this way. Your relationship with love is hard to describe so bare with me a bit. You are a wonderful lover. When you love someone you would do anything for them. I am not exaggerating when I say ‘anything’. When you find someone you deem worthy of loving, you will give everything you have just to see them truly cherished. However, when you deem someone unworthy of love you are just as excessive with your reaction. You will be outwardly mean to them out of a sense of justice and this sentiment unfortunately applies to yourself as well. You believe your judge of character is unbias and therefore makes you the best one for the job of delivering this justice but then you judge yourself unworthy so you treat yourself horrendously. You skip meals to spite yourself. You refuse to shower because you think you just arn’t worth the effort or time. You need to pump the breaks on that behavior and reflect a little bit. If you are capable of loving someone so deeply you would conquer any obstacle in the name of that love? IM PRETTY SURE THAT MAKES YOU LOVABLE DUDE. Perhaps, just maybe, your criteria for judging peoples character is a little more bias than you originally thought??????? And, just maybe, you justify your self-hatred with zero logical evidence. You are worthy of your own respect. I am not telling you to stop delivering justice just to be clear. I’m telling you to think a bit more about why you deem yourself unworthy of love but worthy of delivering justice to the people you hold to be unworthy. Isn’t that a little unfair? I’ll let you answer that yourself on your own time but either way. I wish you luck on your journey of self-acceptance. The universe deems you worthy and it would be healthy to start seeing that perspective.

[airas-story]

Cats

“Okay, that’s just ridiculous,” Tony argued as he threw the book down on the table between him and Stephen. He pointed at the passage he’d just read. “There is no way you can really do that.”

Stephen looked at the passage, then smirked at him, that supercilious expression that he used purely to taunt Tony. “Are you really doubting what I’m capable of, Tony? You know better than that.”

“Yeah, I’m calling bullshit. No way can you shapeshift.” He looked down at the picture that was showing a detailed series of images of a human turning into a cat. “Especially not into a cat. You’re a sorcerer, not a witch!”

“Admittedly, I never have,” Stephen said. “But I could. And the relation between witches and cats is almost entirely a fictional gimmick, just so you know.”

“Do it, then,” Tony told him, ignoring the last part.. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m watching.”

Stephen copied him, leaning back in his own chair. “I have nothing to prove to you, Tony.”

Tony smirked. “Meaning you can’t.”

Stephen didn’t look impressed. “You’re not going to bait me into turning into a cat, Tony.”

Tony narrowed his eyes. “You know what, I bet Loki can. Isn’t shapeshifting one of his major skills? Thor told me a story of Loki turning into a snake.”

In order to stab Thor, but Tony didn’t mention that. Stephen already thought that Loki was a menace to society, no need to give him further proof that he was, just maybe, right. 

“You’re not going to bait me into turning into a cat, Tony,” Stephen repeated, but there was a specific glint in his eyes that meant Tony’s poke had successfully riled Stephen. “I don’t care whether Loki can or can’t do a specific piece of magic.”

Tony shifted tactics. He placed his elbows on the table and leaned his chin on his fists. “Uh huh.”

Stephen glared at him. “You. Are. Not. Baiting. Me.”

“I agreed with you,” Tony pointed out. “That’s what ‘uh huh’ means. It’s in the dictionary and everything. I’m not doing any baiting. Obviously you don’t need to prove anything when it comes to Loki.”

Stephen leaned forward and flipped the page of the book, shoving it at Tony. “You should maybe be a little less eager,” he said. “Because a sorcerer’s transformation abilities extend beyond personal shapeshifting.”

Tony examined the page. There was another image of a human transforming into a cat, but this time it wasn’t the sorcerer. Huh. “So you’re saying that you could turn me into a cat?” he asked. “Wait, are you threatening to turn me into a cat? Rude. But also, I’d be an excellent cat." He paused as an idea occurred to him. "You know... we could be cats together.” He grinned at Stephen. “We could cuddle in patches of sunlight.”

Stephen sighed. “You really are not to be deterred, are you?”

Tony shrugged. “I don’t see why I would be. Plus, if something went wrong, either Wong or Loki could save us, right?”

“First of all, nothing would go wrong. Second, under no circumstances would I ever let Loki save me. And third, nothing would go wrong.”

Tony hummed in agreement—to be fair, he didn’t want Loki to save them, either; Loki would never let it go—as he read the passage on other-human transformations. And really, sometimes the things Stephen was capable of were a little scary. At the same time, Tony trusted Stephen completely.

Also, Tony was pretty sure they’d both make great cats. Plus, if they were cats, no one would judge them for taking a naps.

That’d be nice.

And Stephen desperately needed more sleep, so the naps would be good for him.

“You are absolutely hopeless,” Stephen muttered. “Fine. Let me study the spell.”

Tony looked up and beamed at Stephen. “We’re going to be cats?”

Stephen sighed. “Yes, we can be cats.”

[screechingsandwichtriumph]

Billy Loomis x reader x Stu macher

Billy loomis and stu macher? Ik they aren't on ur list but it would be fun to see a male nerd reader x billy and stu (yandere ofc)

Someone asked this and somehow I deleted it , so I'm sorry but I will write about them

Also , I am infact a girl , and this is the first time that I am writing for male reader , so if this is a bit not good sorry://

Summary: you are Billy's and Stu's obsession. How they are before you get together and after you do

Warnings: yandere , implied murder , implied stalking, that's all

You are literally so perfect and handsome and beautiful and smart , they can't even properly function around you

You had not been part of their original plan who was more about revenge , but you now definably were

People who flirt with you? Well they are instantly befriended and added to the friend group

The plan is to kill all of them , along with Sydney and her friends

You were in one of Stu's classes since forever and he always thought you were super cute when answering questions

But his obsession with you started later on when Billy talked to him about you

Billy had officially met you when he was running of from class , and bumped into you causing all your books to fall on the floor

He helped you pick them up and you smiled at him and he knew

" he has the most beautiful eyes , and his notebooks are all covered in little drawings. Also have you noticed him in class , how cute he is??"

Billy was rambling on and on about you , a thing unusual for him

And then Stu started noticing you more. In class and in the breaks.

They are stalkers

My boys will be following you home , knowing everything about you

Billy very strategically plans about how to approach you

When you all do end up getting together(how could you say no to those beauties and even if you could, they'd threaten you ) it is a mix of amazing and horrible

They cater to your every need. Stu is very rich , so you will miss nothing

They study with you

Or at least they'd try until Stu got bored and now somehow you all are in the kitchen eating

Is anyone annoying you? No , not anynore

They are willing to take it to the extremes for you, killing , stealing, vandalizing, the whole packet

You will never have one moment of peace with those boys. Not. One

They will excitedly support you to your studies and let me tell you , the praise you get every time you do good on a test , makes it all worth it

Sleepovers at Stu's

Billy is willing to give effort to school work , so maybe sometimes he will ask you to help him with something

You end up making out

Every single time

All of you watch unhealthy amounts of horrors together

Even better if you are the scared type , since they have you nestling in their arms in no time , your head buried at their chest in fear

They would be the type of yanders to kidnap you , but they wouldn't really have to , since they are more than capable at flirting

Now ,the bad stuff

Extremely jealous, I don't think you can even speak to male teachers , without them fantasizing about killing the person

Super clingy and obsessed, you will not be going out on you own or with friends

Expect being constantly checked and spied on by those bitches

Istg they have no idea what personal space means

Diaries , assignments and all are not hidden from them

You will be desperately trying to pay attention to school and they will be right there , talking , laughing or touching you

Their presence is so addictive , you find yourself unable to concentrate when reading if none of them is there , and there is no way in hell you are sleeping without their touch/ voice

You're cooked. I'm sorry

[101maverick]

hey i saw your requests are open and i was wondering if maybe you could write smth hurt/comfort with jason please? like they had a big fight and then they make up after something happens🙌🏻

A/n: okok srry if it took me a few days but school and other projects are kicking my butt, hope you enjoy!! I decided to use your request to study Jason from a more ak! Point of view if that makes sense? I haven’t consumed the media but i’ve read some really beautiful works with him and hope it makes him justice :)

Word count: 1206 words

Execution At Sundown

Jason was at your place, sitting on the side of the couch with your tv remote by his side, cup of soda in his hand.

He still hadn’t shown you his face even after months of dating, and even though it stung you understood that it was a huge show of trust on his part, so if he was content sipping his soda from a straw that went under his mask you wouldn’t say anything about it and keep your feelings to yourself.

Everything had been going fine, you had just been hanging out while watching a movie.

It all hit the fan when you decided to go get another soda, rising up from the couch and padding down the hallway to the kitchen to fetch the drink.

After retrieving your drink you made your way back, and as the couch came into view you saw that Jason was now engrossed with something on his phone.

You didn’t think too much about it, just eyed the now empty soda resting in his left hand. On a whim, you walked up to his side of the couch and leaned over, going to grab his empty cup to replenish it.

Before you could do much more than make contact with the clothed skin of Jason’s shoulder though you found yourself being slammed back, loosing your balance and falling on your behind.

——————————

Jason reacted out of instinct.

One second he was relatively relaxed on his girlfriend’s couch, looking at a map of his territory for anything suspicious that might be going on, and the next there was a pressure on his shoulder, somebody leaning in and- “Why don’t you scream a bit for me, Todd?” and then there was pain-

He grabbed the body pressing in on him and pushed, slamming his attacker back and watching, half-standing and with his torso turned in a way that pulled at the knotted skin marring every inch of him, and even if the assailant was on the ground they still hurt him, that damned clown still dug his claws in and he always screamed but nobody heard him and-

Oh. It’s you.

It’s you, who had wormed his way into his heart in a matter of months.

It’s you, who had caressed the mangled skin of his hands and said “That’s okay” in response to the proof of him having been broken and put together crooked and wrong. As if it really was.

It’s you, legs sprawled on the floor with a bewildered expression on your face, wide eyes staring up at him in shock.

Jason stares back at you, his own features turned to stone under the mask as he feels his throat close up.

He had hurt you. He had thrown you to the ground. Guess the apple never falls far from the tree then, uh? Guess he was just like Willis after all, smacking around anyone without the ability to control his feelings. A rabid animal.

An animal. A pet. That’s what the Joker used to call him. What the Joker still calls him every day, in his wretched mind. A mindless thing, twisted and contorted to be ready to bend at his master’s will, and the fact he didn’t have one here anymore didn’t mean he was suddenly upgraded to ‘human’, did it? He was still incapable of controlling himself, succumbing to the green just like Willis had to the bottle. Not even capable of recognising his girlfriend the only person who had accepted his crooked form and chipped edges, throwing her around simply because even gentle and casual touches were ruined for him by that forsaken clown-

“Jace?”

The world comes back into focus, his eyes zero in on the spot of the wall he had been staring at in his haze and then shift down to you, now seated more comfortably on the ground. You haven’t moved, you haven’t come closer to him.

You’re scared of him.

Jason feels his throat constrict, and he punches the words out around the lump forming in his throat. “I- I didn’t- you were- sorry- I-”

Gosh he’s such a mess, can’t even explain to you how pathetic he is, how he still lets a fucking clown torture him with his mere shadow, and now you will realise the honeyed touches are not made for him, not anymore, maybe they never were, or else someone would’ve come-

Now you will realise that all those jagged edges are places you could cut yourself on. Now you will realise a rabid dog like him just needs to be put down for good.

He stutters out a last sentence for you, spits it out on your clean parquet, and even that feels too much like dirtying your sanctuary for his liking. “I- sorry, I’ll- I’ll go-” and he’s not even finishing his sentence before he’s stalking towards your apartment’s door, steps as sure as he can make them as he walks away from the only hands who had held him oh so gently, only like Catherine ever had, his mom, and he wills his legs to keep moving or else he won’t make it out of here for good-

“Don’t leave, please.”

Your voice is quiet, quiet as it breaks his heart and his resolve.

Because Jason has never been strong, and the little crack he can hear coming from his heart hurts but so does the knowledge he’s too weak to keep going the last few steps to your door, the few steps that’ll lead him back to how it was before and you back to a life of safety, free of the burden that is Jason Todd.

He turns around. You’re leaning in the doorway to the living room, staring at him on the other side of the hallway.

Your stance is relaxed. You aren’t holding yourself like you’re hurt. Your eyes are wide, and sad, but they’re not wary.

With his attention on you, you speak again. Your voice is soft, and now also kinda trembly. “I know I don’t know even the start of the story, but I know you have one and it’s the reason things like this sometimes happen.” Your eyes stare into the white lenses of the mask, desperately searching for his gaze under it. “I’m not gonna say it’s okay, because it isn’t.”

There it is. The proof he fucked it up, like is his design.

“It’s not okay,” you continue, startling him. He was getting lost again. He waits for the axe. “because something or someone hurt you, and you still suffer from it.”

He looks at you. Jason looks in your eyes, and gets the feeling you know he’s returning your gaze.

“I want to help you, Jace. Any way I can. Any way you let me. Because I know that when things aren’t okay, sometimes all you need is someone there with you to help you make it so.”

Your voice was sure through it all, but now it falters a bit. “So, so if you want, I could be by your side. If that’s how you’ll let me help. So, so don’t leave.”

His eyes don’t wander away from you.

And as he gazes into your eyes, glinting with the light from the tv bathing your side in neons, he knows that he never could.

The axe doesn’t fall.

[kyotosummer]

A Different Perspective - Stella, Stolas, and Octavia

This is a really weird moment of the trailer, to me. I spent a lot of time thinking how Octavia could still think Stolas doesn't love her.? It doesn't make sense - we've seen time and again that Stolas gives her attention, so why does she still doubt this?

So I thought and thought and thought... and then I started thinking about another question - WHY is this line in the trailer? I mean, this whole trailer's about how much Blitz hates himself and their complicated relationship - so why is Octavia butting into the middle of this with her whining about not being loved enough??

More under the cut - I implore you to read before commenting on the above.

.............. wow, did I just get really annoyed about a TEENAGER whose upset because she doesnt feel like her dad's giving her attention? Wh- what the hell? Why is this show making me feel that way?

And why am I not this annoyed by Loona?? Arent they supposed to be similar characters? She also has a million more issues going on than Octavia. It's rather obvious, with all the time and attention the show gives her....

.....actually, the show gives Loona a lot of attention. We see her at her job with her dad, her backstory and how much Blitz attached to her.

I mean, we all saw how Loona was when she was locked up in that Hell Hound Pound. Thank goodness Blitz is around to hype her up and.... give her.... the attention...... she needs.......

huh.

Come to think of it.... huh.

The only time I remember Stolas giving Octavia attention was when he took her to Lulu Land.... as a distraction from his wife.

and even then.... he didnt listen to her wishes about not wanting to go - he just dragged her along......

...and he brought Blitz to flirt with. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, Stolas really only paid attention to Octavia when she ran away and started crying.

Oh, but then there was the lovely moment about the fireworks! Which... started because Stolas was busy with his divorce and forgot about the once-in-a-1000 year event with his daughter.

And while Blitz's job is an odd one, he's teaching his craft to Loona. She is incredibly capable at her job and can do it solo. She's also the one Blitz trusts most with the Grimoire.

When Stolas found Octavia in the fireworks episode, he lectures her about using the book when he hasn't taught her spells yet. SHE'S IN HER LATE TEENS???? HIS STUDIES STARTED WHEN HE WAS A CHILD????

......Holy shit, actually.

Finally, in regards to Stella - yes, she's a bitch who finds pleasure in tormenting Stolas....

and yet.... she goes out with Octavia on the weekends. It seems to be implied this was a weekly thing, even prior to the divorce.

And, like, outside of Stolas's perspective and her hiring a man to murder her husband.... do we... do we know her?

I mean, sure, this was both our and Stolas' first impression of her as a child:

But there could easily be way more context to this than what the audience knows. We only see this picture and then Stella as an adult. She also didn't seem particularly hateful with Stolas during scenes when Octavia was a child - she just, at most, steals the blankets and grumbles the same as she does about who has to get up.

Just as Stolas had to grow up knowing he's going to marry a wild woman he didnt want, Stella had to grow up knowing she was going to marry a man who didnt want her.

She might have tried. We haven't seen a lot of her outside of her fights with Stolas, and I do wonder if part of her resentment is that she did actually try, and Stolas just.... never responded to her outside of obligation.

Either way, after going through these thoughts.... I've come to realize - Octavia may not understand everything, but she may actually have a point. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[quuerbee]

Just saw a picture of divine dragon chung myung before he got that title and it really hit me how small Cho Sam's body was when chung myung came back. This little thought has spoilers for chapter 400+ (I think anyway) and vague spoilers for everything past ch 400 until like. Ch 800

GOD OK so we as the reader understand chung myungs situation very very intimately. WE understand that he is an 80+ year old man mentally. WE understand that he is not in fact 15, then 17, then 19, 20, etc. Everyone around him, however, truly believe that he is those ages.

It's brushed upon multiple times throughout the novel, especially whenever chung myung is down for the count/recovering after a fight. The facade he makes around himself, the strong reliable leader, fades away and the "truth" of who he is reinstates itself to those close to him in this second life. His back, every time he wavers, is described as small. This is always through the perspective of anyone but himself. This is even more apparent whenever he is unconscious after a serious fight. I don't know exactly chapters, but i KNOW that baek cheon (and the rest of the 5 swords plus soso and hye yeon), at least once, has had the reality of Chung myungs apparent age dawn upon them. That they're youngest sajae (sahyung in soso's case) is constantly spilling his own blood to protect them. (This fact is straight up said by yu iseol after the particularly bad fight with Jang ilso, spitting her frustration with only getting in chung myungs way instead of protecting him).

This phenomenon is hardly limited to the main group of disciples. After the first myriad men siege on Mount hua (while The Gang is in Xian), everyone subconsciously gains courage with the thought that soon enough chung myung will come, that he'll protect them. The disciples (soso being the most prevalent since she's one of the main disciples focused on in the novel) of course correct this thought, realizing that they cannot rely on chung myung forever. Anyways moving on from just describing this arc. What I mainly want to focus on is Hyun jong and chung myungs interaction AFTER the siege is finished, after un gum is fresh off of his amputation, after chung myung has barely gotten treatment for his own (quite serious) injuries.

What do you think when through Hyun jong's mind, seeing his youngest disciple, the one who brought back the hope that had almost died out with his sect, ruthlessly kill the enemy, return heavily wounded, and then try to sneak out almost immediately to go back to smite those who have harmed his home? To us, Chung myung is more than capable. He's the plum blossom sword Saint, the one who (even with all the regret he holds over this) severed the head of the heavenly demon. He's an 80+ year old man trying to protect the only thing besides bloodshed that is familiar in this second life. We understand the guilt he has over not being able to protect his home the first time. We understand that he would rather die than allow Mount Hua to fall again.

Hyun jong does not know this. He does not understand chung myungs rage (and guilt and grief and longing and-). He looks at chung myung and sees an 18 or 19 (I don't remember) year old boy, covered in wounds, trying to sneak out of his home on a suicide mission of revenge. He sees a boy. He knows that if he let's this boy go, he will never see him alive again. So he uses chung myungs borderline (who are we kidding, it is way past borderline) unhealthy loyalty with mount hua to dissuade him from walking to his death.

ANYWAYS long story not so short, I need need need more analysis over what everyone but chung myung thinks about him. Everyone sees this young teen, then young adult, bend over backwards to the point where he has almost died so so so many times just so mount hua can flourish. They've seen him kill ruthlessly, they've seen him sob over the skeleton of an ancestor (one of his brothers, a reminder of what he has lost, what he will never get back), they've seen him silly and carefree, they've seen him almost mad with bloodlust.

To us, he is chung myung, the old plum blossom sword Saint, slayer of the heavenly demon. To them, he is chung myung, the scrawny 15 year old that changed their lives, that faces unknown traumas, that has had a life so, so unkind to him.

Sometimes I look at chung myung pre time skip, how small he is, how he looks like a child, how he acts nothing like one, and remember that only we, the readers, get the full context behind his actions.

[utilitycaster]

A few recent books I've read and disliked led me to this conclusion but it feels like there's been this switch over time with queer stories. It used to be that queer relationships (or queerness in general) had to be Show Don't Tell because, well, you could not make them textual! So you get, for example, shows like Legend of Korra, or Xena: Warrior Princess, where you have women who are clearly devoted to each other to a degree that goes beyond mere friendship, and a ton of effort and care is put into that depiction because they can't actually be shown in an explicitly stated relationship. And as a result, these relationships, while they never receive confirmation in the show, are rich and complex.

Now not only is it much easier to make explicitly queer stories outside of niche areas; it's even popular (and, cynically, a marketing tactic). The problem is I've run into a bunch of stories that are marketed very clearly as A Queer Story that forget to like...be a story, or show me why these characters should be in a relationship. It's All Tell No Show: I'm told that the characters are gay and are in a relationship, but no work is done to actually explain why I should care about this beyond "well they are gay and in a gay relationship."

I'm not going to rehash what I discussed here, but Baru Cormorant is an example of those books where I'm given no real reason to care. The protagonist is a lesbian but the prose reads like a phone book. On the other hand, while Starless has a queer disabled woman as a one of the two protagonists, it also provides her with traits other than "queer, disabled, woman, important" and grants her a rich interiority (even though the story is told entirely from the first person point of view of the other protagonist.)

And the thing about the good examples in that link (Starless, Teixcalaan): they show and tell. It's both explicit that these are queer stories with a canon romantic relationship, but the little moments that make up the tapestry of a relationship are given the time that moments in a subtextual - or frankly, even a queerbaiting work are. That's the real tragedy; for queerbaiting to work, you have to actually make the relationship compelling enough for people follow it until you pull the rug out from under them; whereas you can slap a cold fish kiss on a cold fish queer relationship and technically you are Better because it was Explicit Representation even though everything about it was poorly constructed. I would rather have an lazy and shoddy explicit relationship than queerbait just on principle; but honestly I'd rather have a good story that does neither.

One of my more cynical interpretations of this is that writers are either intentionally or inadvertently taking advantage of the legacy of the Show Don't Tell era of queer coding to place the burden of those small moments on the audience. They know that people looking for queer relationships in fiction are used to having to dig for moments and subtext; but instead of providing that subtext, they set up the clunky text and assume the subtext to support it will emerge from the fandom. Or perhaps, more generously, especially for younger queer writers, they are just so used to having to provide that work themselves that they forget they are doing the writing and are able to (and should) layer subtext and text together and weave something actually good.

Either way, it's this that's led to the "Lesbian necromancers in space, need I say more"* era of recommendations, taglines, and writing, in which explicit representation is, if not plentiful, at least available; but a worrying amount of it forgets to actually write realized characters or a relationship with chemistry or a plot that makes sense.

I should also note: there's obviously a TON of straight romances and books that range from mediocre to abominable. I am under no circumstances arguing that "gayboring" media shouldn't exist. But while I don't think queer stories should be held to a higher standard, I don't think I should be obligated to settle for a lower standard either simply because it's gay. I know it's fraught, in that we're at risk of publishers and producers taking away the message "people hate this because it's gay" rather than "people hate this because it's poorly developed," but like...at the very least, could we recommend things in terms of "this is a great book that has a wonderful queer romance" and "this show is gay but it is also deeply mediocre, and if it weren't gay I wouldn't recommend it at all; do what you will with this information."

*I should note: I happen to like The Locked Tomb (of Lesbian Necromancers in Space fame) a lot! I know it's not for everyone; I know it can feel very gimmicky at times. But no matter how you feel, that tagline is DIRE and does a miserable job of representing the books. Like, that premise could suck, actually (and plenty of people find it does) if you're not sold on the mere fact that it's got lesbians, necromancy, or space in it. Worth noting that neither Starless nor the Teixcalaan books were heavily marketed as Queer Romance Fantasy/SF even though both very much are, which does further make me think this is a case of people writing good books that are queer, vs. people writing books with the intention to be on some New Queer SF list or, god forbid, Booktok.

[yuridovewing]

As a fellow Dovewing lover, it's frustrating how the fandom watered her down into a whiny brat who never cared about Ivypool. I mean, seriously? Not only did Dovewing care about her sister (reacting in horror when Lionblaze, her own mentor and Jayfeather are willing to potentially sacrifice Ivypool's safety by employing her as her spy instead of trying to get her out of the Dark Forest's clutches, hiding a thorn in her nest to cover for her scarring from her training).

Heck, even the scene where she tries to feed Ivypool her catch during a hunting patrol was demonized because 'she was trying to make Ivypool break the code like SHE does, as if it doesn't matter' and because she got upset when Ivypool started arguing with her! But you guys said she didn't care, right? Plus, people act like being forced into a prophecy is something you should be grateful for, as if it didn't irreparably change her close relationship with her sister? As if Lionblaze and Jayfeather didn't still keep her out of the loop (and for all the fussing they made about keeping it a secret, Lionblaze confesses his power to Cinderheart and Jayfeather doesn't even care).

Meanwhile Nightheart is angry he isn't orange and hates his mom for being exiled and the whole world has to stop for him. 🤪 And Bramblestar is simply so tortured by having an evil father, the only choice is to train with him and his evil half-brother and hide this from his wife! (But remember, it's bad when that witch Squirrelflight hides the parentage of the three from him, even when Blackstar and Leopardstar were still around after being complicit in the torture and killing of halfclan cats.) Why are these male characters sympathized with, even when they actively harm people (Nightheart forcing himself into Sunbeam's life by lying to everyone about being her mate without even asking her if she would be fine with that beforehand), Bramblestar (we all know what he does), but when Dovewing or any other female character is upset, people freak out and call them whiny brats or abusive for (checks notes) asking her partner if he loves her anymore after they argued multiple times in a book. Really makes you think! (Sorry this is so long, you just have based opinions!)

dovewing being characterized as this flighty airheaded vain popular girl stereotype in fanon is like. one of those biggest "we didnt actually read the books" things in the fandom. like theres so much fanart where shes grinning and giggling over the prophecy and shes besties with the trio and shes got preferential treatment, and then in the actual books shes basically the autistic kid no one actually likes. people really, REALLY overexaggerate that one scene where she snaps at ivypaw and brags. (and i dont wanna shit on amvs but i am forever side eying how the animation community handled dove back in the day. more than one person animated her getting murdered. normal.)

i do think its gotten better recently at least. but wow does it feel like at least one person on the writing team has a bone to pick

(also awww thank you <3 no need to be sorry i love getting stuff in my inbox)

[sapphic-storm69]

Lord have mercy on me, for I know not the path ahead nor what it looks like but may my soul persevere. May it strengthen me when I lay broken. May it pick me up from the rubble and dust me off and may it look into my shattered eyes and say “you are more than you know”. May it give me light when the sun cannot, may it power me through the nights when I stare into the abyss and feel the dread so ancient in my bones rise, and may it bleed into everything I love. May it leave a story of my life even when I am gone.

[soldier-poet-king]

St Thereses little way and small kindnesses shape the world and make it go round etc etc etc

Yes that is ALL true and I don't discount it but ALSO have you considered I ALSO want the Big Grand Kindnesses and Great Works and Gestures

Not just for the drama. Not for the recognition, I generally hate to be noticed. But for the competency. The satisfaction. The possibility that I CAN. Surely there is this ambition and drive for a reason. Surely I am incredibly hungry and yet have no concrete selfish tangible dreams, just a Grand Desire for The Good in some great manifestation, surely for a reason. A meaning. A purpose.

I want it. More than comfort and kindness and love I want this. The deepest hunger of my existence. The reason for my existence.

[organised-disaster]

Okay I'm working on snowbird chapter 2

I hope people actually read it considering seven of them voted for me to keep writing it when I asked them

[vse-kar-vem]

how to write vent post title that does not come off as self-pitying and or accusatory (because it's NOT !)

[brushfrost]

i know he’s written to be a little pathetic but i wish more people saw shadowsight as being more of an “edgy” character. dude just sometimes reeks of late 2000s amvs whenever he talks about the “darkness consuming him”

[mewtwo24]

You know reading vol 5 of mdzs before all the rest (don't ask me why I'm a clown and there were Circumstances) has to be the craziest experience of my life. Because it took all of ten minutes of wwx talking to literally hit me so hard in the gut I had to sit down and listen to really loud music for a while to calm down.

Who needs therapy when mxtx is alive and writing, I guess????? 🤡

Can't wait to get to the actual tragic parts I just know I'm gonna be that "help" frog phone meme