#and people aren’t greeting me back when I greet them and they aren’t listening to words coming from my mouth | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

targaryenluvs · 8 months

Text

— THUNDERSTRUCK!

pairings: luke castellan x daughterofzeus!reader, percy jackson x fem!reader (platonic & half-siblings)

summary: the one where percy’s babysitter ends up at camp with him, and may or may not be the child of a certain stormy man as well as falling in love with a thief (of her heart & other things).

warnings: fluff, percy takes on the brotherly role, protective perce, flirting, violence, protective reader over percy, possessive luke thoughts, kisses, makeoutish, timegap

wordcount: 4.2k (i went crazy)

a/n: i think i’ve seen this film before— (thalia wya) since a lot of people love protective percy/persassy! hope you like it!! i listened to it whilst making it sooooo i recommend!

taglist: @apollos-calliope @purplerose291 @loveyava @ohh-to-be-rich-and-pretty @iluvthemoonandthestars @chr1sgirl4life @liv1104 @fairycheol @coryoskywalker@perseus-jackass @hottiewifeyyyy @lizheartsyou @repostingmyfavs @lovelyforesst

you and percy had experienced so much in the last days, now at a random camp, that had been scarcely explained to you by sally and grover as the four of you made your way to camp.

beforehand, you’d been finishing up on your last school assignment when a knock on your door drew you from your laptop, then percy barged his way into your apartment soaking wet. “oh! okay what the hell? percy aren’t you freezing? what’re you doing here?” you’d since placed your laptop on the coffee table, jogging over to the door as percy smiled up at you, “montauk baby!”

you laughed, “montauk?” he nodded as you grinned, “i’ll be down in five, you are so lucky my flatmates aren’t here they’d make you scrub the wet floors.” once you were out of view, percy made it a point to shake his body and hair, droplets of water dispersing around the apartment. he hated your flatmates, two annoying boys who loved to stare at you. luckily you were too busy hauling ass with your backpack and gym bag, stuffed full of clothes and snacks.

sally greeted you with a smile, a hug and a kiss on the forehead, “how are you sweetheart?” your smile was practically blinding, “very excited, let’s hit the road!”

you’d already begun to tune out whilst sally explained, godly parentage and all. but not out of spite or confusion, only sadness. one of your parents weren’t actually your parent. whilst it seemed that your father was the obvious candidate, goddesses did exist as well. percy had never really been with his father let alone grown up with him for 18 years, so it was different for him than it was for you.

as if that wasn’t enough, grover being split in half as a goat had you rubbing your eyes, hoping for a different outcome when you opened them again, sorely disappointed when greeted with hooves and fur.

but nothing could have prepared you for watching sally’s demise. having had a hand in raising you, loving and shaping you into the amazing woman you were now, and now she was dust. snapping back into the moment a tad late, the sight of percy fighting the beast caused your heart to beat a thousand miles quicker.

“perce!” you’d tried to aid him, pulled back by grover, whom you’d recently learned was actually 24. in another, less serious moment, maybe you would’ve listened to your elder and his pleas for you not to interfere. your feet carried you to percy and the minotaur, grabbing a nearby rock you threw it as a distraction, momentarily drawing its attention. percy then stabbed it with its own horn, reducing it to dust as he fell down and you held him.

“please, please stay awake. stay with me perce.” you clutched onto him, but your pleas went unheard as grover’s did with you. his eyes fluttered to a close, but not before you heard him whisper, “mom?” your heart clenched at the misunderstanding.

you stuck by him the whole time, when chiron and the others found you, whilst he was in the infirmary, you stayed by his side. when grover promised you that he’d be there for percy, and urged you to eat and take a walk, you relented.

the dark haired boy had his head down whilst walking, in his head he’d been contemplating whether or not he wanted to visit the newcomers. which he did either way. he ran right into you, as you met the ground and he profusely apologised, “i’m so sorry, i wasn’t watching where i was— going.” it was rare for luke castellan to be at a loss for words, but as he met your eye he didn’t care. you were undeniably gorgeous, messy y/h/c hair, sweet yet drained eyes, and a small smile drawn on your lips.

“you’re… so fine. like, as in— you’re okay. it’s okay, we both didn’t watch ourselves. not that i’m blaming you! just—,” you breathed out as he grinned, “i’m luke… castellan, head counsellor of hermes cabin.” you giggled as he scratched the back of his head, “i could’ve left off the last part huh?” he didn’t want to come off as bragging, but it did seem like he was. you scrunched your nose and eyes, “yeah, probably.”

he lent his arm to you, hauling you up. “i know my name, you know my name, you know your name. seems like i’m the odd one out.” luke grinned as you laughed, the two of you found it easy to talk to one another, “i’ll tell you, when you’ve earned it.” shrugging your shoulders, you turned on your heel heading for the infirmary.

luke stood behind and watched, his voice was distant but still loud enough for you, “what do i have to do to earn it?” you shook your head, quickly turning back to him to shout out, “if i tell you, then you won’t chase after me will you?” your smile was imprinted in luke’s head, he only wanted to see it more often, you more often. and he sure as hell wasn’t above a chase.

the rest of the day was spent settling you and percy in. once he’d awoken, he immediately asked after his mother, but of course that wasn’t possible.

your presence was the only thing that percy knew, helping him calm down. the two of you were completely new in a place where the people around you seemed to have been at forever. and whilst you’d barely talked the people around you, they all spoke about the pair of you.

your journey had seemed to reach the ears of all the campers, including a certain ares girl.

clarisse whole heartedly believed percy to have lied about his encounter with the minotaur, for whatever reason. you’d found that out when luke was taking percy on a tour, whilst you’d been talking to chiron about settling percy in.

on your way back you’d noticed her talking to him.

“you want attention around here dummy? better be ready for it when it comes.” she snickered as percy stumbled backwards, but not before you steadied him from behind. “you okay perce?” he nodded whilst you surveyed him for any injuries, once you’d deemed him to be okay, you pushed him behind you.

percy’s troubled past was not foreign to you, teasing and bullies and expulsions galore. you’d never held it against him, percy was your brother, and you knew who he was. he was kind, and funny, a joke up his sleeve at all times, wide eyed and curious of his surroundings, fiercely loyal and friendly to those he loved. at times his mouth got him in trouble, but at the end of the day, he was always your perce. the one who’d always ditch school to take care of you when you were sick, the one who glared and protected you against your roommates, the same perce who puked for hours when sally and you had indulged him in blue foods for his birthday. he was your brother, you couldn’t protect him at times, but you’d be damned if you let it happen right infront of you.

“he’s twelve, twelve years old. how old are you? you might think it’s hilarious to bully new kids around, but i sure as hell don’t. stay away from him.” clarisse scoffed, crossing her arms, “i don’t like liars, he is a liar. and so are you. admit you faked the minotaur killing.” it was your turn to scoff, “it happened, why the hell would we lie about it? get over yourself honestly, are we continuing the tour or what?” luke clicked his tongue, “see you around clarisse.”

he could tell you weren’t in the best mood so he took it upon himself to make you smile, “how much do you want to bet he ends up poking someone’s eye out?” you and luke stood side by side as percy adjusted his protective glasses, attempting to weld. “how much do you want to bet he starts a fire?”

as the three of you ran out your laughs mixed in with luke, “pay up!” percy scrunched his eyebrows, “you bet on me? that’s rude.” you ruffled his hair as he swatted your hand away, “as if you could do any better Y/N.” luke smiled at the slip of your name whilst you groaned, “guess i didn’t have to earn it.” luke whispered into your ear. percy didnt like the close proximity, so he injected himself in between you two.

the rest of the day was spent trying to find what percy was good at, and then laughing at his failed attempts. then percy being annoyed at you and luke.

you’d stuck by percy’s side the whole day to which he protested, “i can be alone for a minute yknow?” the two of you were currently walking back from dinner, “okay, one, two—,” he threw his head back and groaned, “you know what i mean.” your hand rested on percy’s shoulder, “i’ll give you some time okay? just make sure you get back to the cabin before curfew, i think it’s going to rain.” percy nodded, walking off to wherever.

but you weren’t alone for long.

“so, how’d i do?” luke took up the space percy had occupied moments ago, “what do you mean?” he walked infront of you before turning around, “did i earn it? your name?” the smile on your face was hard to fight as you averted your gaze to ground, face beginning to heat up at his smile, “i’d say yes, but percy told you my name anyways. but you did also earn something else.”

“and what’s that?”

“my company.”

luke liked the idea of that, “well then, i’ll do my best to deserve it. do you want to take a walk with me?” you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, “isn’t curfew soon?” his hand was outstretched towards you, reminiscent of your first meeting, “lucky for you, i’m somewhat above the average camper.”

and so you took his hand, time and along the way his breath. just looking at you was enough to make him happy, the bitterness buried deep as he listened in for your laugh. admiring you in the moonlight, committing your face to memory.

your stomach hurt, bad.

the only times you laughed this hard were with percy. “there’s no way! you caught them trying to make out, twice?” luke nodded, “in the same night, basically infront of everyone. they’re both only eleven, so i’m guessing their understanding of relationships and privacy doesn’t span far.” you buried your face in your hands as luke shook his head, “uh-uh, if i’m talking to you, i need to see all of you.” you both sat at the dining pavilion, facing each other.

it only made you resort to hiding in between your knees next, “i can’t! i look crazy.” luke’s hands came to your wrists in an attempt to pry them away, which was successful, but then you hid by your knees. he did think about prying theme apart, but then blood shot to his face when he realised how sexual it was. so he rested his hands on your knees, which made you peek up at him. his eyes bore into yours, unrelenting and unashamed.

“you look gorgeous, all the time. and i seriously can’t hold a conversation with you if i can’t see your pretty face.” his words caused you to rise, legs coming down to rest on either side of the bench, “pretty huh? and what do you know about pretty girls?” luke crossed his arms as he smirked, “not much, just that i’m looking at the best one.” you smacked his chest, “god you’re such a flirt.” the two of you rose up from the table as luke smiled, “how can i not when you’re right here?”

you took in a deep breath, not expecting it to trap itself in your throat. you were alone, for once. you were alone. with an exceptionally strong, sweet, lovely guy, who seemed to have an affinity for you.

luke was revelling in your shyness, the more he got to know you the more he wanted to be with you. not only were you kind, but you stood your ground. even with clarisse, the second she targeted percy you stood in between the two. it was one of the many things he liked about you. he also liked the idea of stepping a little closer, maybe touching your face, kissing you?

as much as you wanted to get closer to him, you weren’t sure of yourself. and if it was past curfew then you couldn’t help but wonder if percy was safe and sound. “we should head back!” you spun around and began walking whilst luke sighed, “yeah, we should.”

you expected for him to either;

a) not be there

b) be asleep

c) be making his way back

not for him to be in the bathroom, held by clarisse and her friends shouting for you, “y/n!”

“let him go! now!” you screamed as you ran towards him, but clarisse held onto your arm, “he needs to learn his lesson.” you laughed, this girl and her stubbornness needed to be studied, “what the hell is wrong with you? my god he didn’t fake anything! he’s a poor kid who saw his own mother disappear infront of him! he’s terrified!” clarisse was strong, you’d give her a point for that.

but she ignited an ungodly amount of anger in your body. you pulled against her to get to percy as the storm outside made its presence known as you screamed, “let go!” thunder rattled through the air, striking outside the door, as clarisse and the girls were hurtled back by water. you immediately ran to percy, “are you okay? did they hurt you? i swear i’m going to—,” percy cut your rambling off with a tight hug, “you came.” the tears in your eyes fell free as you held onto him, “you called.”

annabeth stood at the door with luke whilst percy interrogated her, “are you stalking me annabeth?” their conversation was drowned out as luke made his way over to you, “are you okay?” he surveyed you for any outstanding differences, a cut or two. “i’m okay, i’m fine. thank you luke, i just need to get percy in bed. i’ve had enough of this camp for a day.”

you were on auto drive, the only thing on your mind was getting percy to your cabin, the ghost of a kiss you’d left on luke’s lips as you hurried out of the place didn’t register until you were in bed. luke seemed to enter years later, quiet steps to his bed alerting you. “luke?” your voice was hushed whilst calling out for him, aware of the other campers, “y/n?” he was in bed now, sat up.

“d’you mind if i—?” you gestured towards him and his mattress as his eyes lit up in recognition, “oh. oh! yeah.” you awkwardly shuffled into his bed, knees touching his as you sat facing one another, “do you wanna—?” “i’m sorry for…” the two of you overlapped, after a beat of silence just meeting his eye caused you two to break out in hushed giggles and laughter.

“i kissed you, very randomly. i’m sorry luke.” he shook his head and smiled, “it’s fine, i liked it.” your eyebrows travelled up as you straightened your back, “you.. you didn’t mind?” his hands held onto yours, “not at all, i haven’t known you long, and you haven’t known me. but i want to continue getting to know you sweetheart.”

your smile could’ve stretched miles across america, your eyes shone brightly, if you’d asked he would give you the world. he was going to, wouldn’t it be nice? having someone by his side through it all?

that night you both slept side by side, his arms seemed to envelope you entirely. his nose dug into your neck, uncomfortable but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. luke slept soundly that night, his hands trailing over you, in the night and morning. being awoken by a kiss, morning breath be damned.

“not that i don’t love it, but what’s got you in such a good mood?” luke continued kissing down your neck as you giggled, “it tickles!” he murmured whilst continuing, “i don’t care.” your hands ran through his curls, your morning bliss was ruined by a yelp of surprise.

“what the— y/n?!” percy’s face was pure disgust as you shoved luke to the side, not realising that you’d been on the edge of the bed until luke collided with the hard wood floors with an ‘oof’. “oh god, are you okay?” a thumbs up had you smiling, before you realised the mess that you were in with percy.

“how? when? why?”

“all those questions will be answered eventually, percy, it’s nothing crazy okay? just calm down.” percy scoffed, “nothing crazy? it’s basically only been a few weeks and he has his tongue down my sisters throat.” that sobered you up, sleep washed away, “sister? did you just—?”

“i don’t know, but please, just try not to around me.” percy felt slightly embarrassed at letting you know how he thought of you. how could he not expect you to be a sister? you’d been in his life forever. “okay, not to interrupt but—,”

“then don’t.” percy snapped as you groaned, “ignore his royal sassiness, continue luke.” luke brushed himself off as he continued to speak, “todays capture the flag.”

percy wanted to throw himself over a cliff.

everyone else was amped up, practicing with friends and strategising whilst he sat on the grass as you triple checked his armour, “i think i’m fine y/n, do you want some bubble wrap? extra security.” he joked as you sighed, “i just want to make sure you’re okay, is that so wrong?” percy sighed, “no, i guess not.” you held onto his shoulders as you looked into his eyes, “i’m sorry.”

before percy could even ask for the reason for your apology a sloppy peck on his cheek was left behind as you ran off. “y/n!” you laughed at his screechy voice, but chirons voice explaining the rules shut you up.

the game seemed to be going well, you hoped so.

you were currently viewing percy floss on a rock, which made you want to push him over it, which you couldn’t for obvious reasons you settled for pelting his armour with rocks and pebbles. “ow!” you laughed at his exclamation, knowing it hadn’t hurt him, “please, it only hit your armour.” percy shrugged, “still.”

maybe you’d been to engrossed in staring at pebbles and thinking about luke but the girls managed to surround you. sword in hand you rose from the floor, tossing percy’s things his way. your own sword clutched tightly, “flags that way, it’s not here.” clarisse smirked as she held onto her own spear, “we know. yeah, glory’s fine. revenge is more fun.” you shook your head, disbelief filling you, “god you just don’t stop do you?” she laughed, “no maiming. it’s like the one rule.”

“yeah, i guess i’ll lose dessert privileges for a while. i’ll live.” your sword clashed with the girls, grunts ringing out through the air as you held your own. you weren’t concerned for yourself, only percy. you yelled out for him when he tripped over the log, “perce!”

clarisse stood infront of him, “i’m actually not interested in maiming or killing you, believe it or not. i just want you to admit you're a fraud, and that you’re having Y/N lie for you. it’d make me feel better. are you feeling up to that yet?” percy stumbled as he ran, you shoved the girl to the side and followed along, “keep running, don’t look back!” clarisse sighed, “guess that's a no.”

you ended up on the shore, percy rolling over as he stumbled to his feet, they all surged forwards as you continued to fight. clarisse mainly focused on percy whilst you held off the other two. one of the girls was overconfident, believing herself to be able to take you down with a few hits. your hand managed to slide into her armour on her shoulder, wrapping your hand around it you slung her into the water with all your strength. cringing when you heard her slam on the floor.

the other girl huffed, “wonder what we’ll do when you lose. maybe i’ll go over to your precious little percy, beat him around. a few stabs and slices might teach him the meaning of honesty.” her words were fuel to the fire inside you, your hands and body felt alive the second you began fighting, as if you were meant for it. you were going to beat this girl to the ground.

the victory of your team wasn’t enough to stop you, a moment of hesitance formed when luke planted the red flag into the floor as he celebrated with chris. spoiling his happiness was chris, “isn’t that your girl?” luke’s head whipped to look over at you on the shore, sword in hand as you faced off with the girl, percy held up by clarisse.

“it’s one thing to threaten me, but percy? you’re going to beg me to stop.” the campers were quiet, the entire area was abuzz with anticipation. your yell and hers broke the silence as you charged at eachother.

hit after hit, you continued pushing her back. swords colliding as you put all your force into the fight, the swords neared her throat. her terrified expression made you grin, “told you.” her legs were swept out from underneath her as she slammed into the floor, sword taken from her grasp by you.

luke cheered when she fell, igniting a string of applause and support from your team. but right now? all you could focus on was her. “you think this means anything? i’ve been fighting my whole life, you’re nothing. he’s nothing but a lying loser who lost his mommy.” the girl spit out blood, her teeth painted crimson. the power you felt looking down on her was unmatched by anything in your life. glancing backwards you viewed annabeth speaking with percy, who, thankfully, wasn’t fatally injured.

your grip on the hilt of your sword tightened as you lowered yourself, knee resting on either side of her waist. up above, dark clouds began to form, threatening a storm again. rage surged through you as you picked her up by her armour, “say it again! say it again and i’ll break you in half bitch!” your screams echoed as the campers watched on, you shoved her to the floor before raising your arms, your sword held high as you struck it down. right next to her head, simultaneous lighting struck all around you.

the thunder was deafening, but with the girl out of your way your focus came back with only one thought, percy. you turned around only to view percy standing in the water, a trident above his head. “percy!” you pointed towards it as he looked up in shock, what you didn’t expect was for him to point at you.

a lightning bolt, right above you.

luke’s jaw was close to the floor, you and percy had been claimed, both forbidden children. now this was awkward. but he swallowed his anger and made his way to you when he could. by then you’d already spoken with chiron, and had the situation explained to you. currently you were settling into your new cabin.

a knock on your door drew your attention as you called out, “who is it?”

“hint, it’s not clarisse. so don’t strike me down with lightning, i quite like being unburnt.” the voice you’d hoped to hear flowed through the room, “come in, please.” luke closed the door behind him as he made his way to you, “please? you really wanted to see me didn’t you?” he teased as you rolled your eyes.

“you’re not wrong.” your hands pulled on the drawstrings of his hoodie, tying them together and undoing. luke took in your change of demeanour, brushing stray hairs behind your ear, “you want to talk about it?” your lips pressed into a tight line, “not really. can we just sit? maybe read?” luke picked up a book from your bag whilst you laid down.

he laid down next to you as you settled your head onto his chest, “percy’s okay, i spent about an hour with him, talking. isn’t that funny? i always treated him like he was my brother, and he is.” he hummed, leaning his head onto yours, “makes sense, seeing you beat the crap out of the ares girl, knew you had to be something special. it was also very hot to watch.” you shifted to look up at luke, his smirk was evident as you buried your face.

“don’t get shy on me now, i’m just love struck. i have a lovely girl on my side, how am i supposed to hold myself back?” your hand traced a lightning bolt over his chest, “lovestruck huh?” he nodded along proudly, “maybe not lovestruck.” you sat up a bit, “what do you mean?” the concern laced in your voice was hard to miss.

“i’m thunderstruck.”

“and i’m going to murder you.” your hands attacked his side as he laughed.

“i take it back i swear!”

#luke castellan x y/n #luke castellan x you #luke castellan fluff #luke castellan x fem!reader #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan #percy jackson x fem!reader #percy jackson imagine #percy jackson fic #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson and the olympians

2K notes · View notes

wildernessuntothemselves · 10 months

Text

Jealousy, Jealousy... | Final Part

A/N: this is the main ending. there is an alternative ending available for the other boy on patreon. the link for which is found at the end of this chapter.

Word count: 13k

Genre: Smut, angst, fluff

Warnings: fem!reader, mostly dom!reader, face-sitting, PIV sex, dirty talk, creampie, handjob, heartbreak.

“Hey, baby.” You greet Yeonjun, giving him a kiss on the lips. “Ready to go?”

You were picking him up to go home after a long day of work for the both of you. You had in mind a night of drinking wine and complaining about your day until you passed out in his arms and you can’t wait to get home already.

“Just a little longer, doll.” He tells you and you immediately start whining. “Junnie… those two bottles of wine I bought aren’t gonna drink themselves. We gotta get cracking.”

He chuckles tiredly. “While I appreciate your efforts to get me drunk, Beomgyu has composed a new song and I need to stay back to hear it.”

“Oh.” It’s still so weird to you how you now have to hear news about what your best friend is up to from other people. You used to know these things first. If this was a few months ago, you’d have already heard the song before anyone else did. But now you’re lucky if you even get to hear it at all.

But that’s for the best. You’re doing good with Yeonjun. You’re doing good without Beomgyu. You’re breathing. You’re eating. Your heart is beating… maybe even for someone else for a change. It may have been excruciatingly painful at first–forcing yourself to step away from him, not seeking him out to try to make things better after your most recent fallout, not jumping at the chance when he reached out himself, pretending like you’re too busy to see him, making up excuses so you won’t be alone with him, building up your walls so maybe one day you can stand in a room with him and not have to hold back every cell of your body from throwing yourself at his feet and begging him to love you, but you’ve gotten a lot better at it.

“Do you wanna listen to it?” Yeonjun asks when he sees your curiosity, but you hesitate. Should you? Maybe you should just wait in the car…

But when you see Beomgyu come out with his acoustic guitar and set it on his lap, you find yourself nodding and grabbing a seat next to Yeonjun. You miss hearing him sing. You miss being privy to his passions and whims. Maybe it's selfish of you to allow yourself the opportunity to witness more of him than you’re willing to give him but you never claimed to not be selfish.

As if Beomgyu shares your thoughts, he glances at you, hesitating for a second and you can see the thoughts flitting behind his pretty eyes–you know him too well. Is he thinking about kicking you out? Does he not want you to hear the song because you’ve been keeping your distance from him?

Eventually though he looks down at his guitar and starts to play, and as soon as the first words leave his lips, your heart drops.

Oh, I’m falling in love

As time goes by

As my feelings grow

I’m becoming more anxious

How deep is your love?

I want to ask

Couldn’t it be the same if not deeper?

Your heart lurches in your chest at the lyrics. Falling in love? Is Beomgyu falling in love with Haeun? You know you have no right to feel hurt by this but you do. Why couldn’t he have loved you? What does he see in her that you couldn’t have given him? Is she prettier than you? Smarter? Kinder? Funnier? What was it that made you fall short of deserving his love?

Seeing you change little by little

I’m afraid I’ll lose you

Not mine

My one minute, one second

Take them all

All my time is yours

Why?

Why have you changed?

Why are you so far away from me?

Now we are at different paths.

It hurts even more that it seems she’s not reciprocating his feelings. She has everything you want and she doesn’t even want it. He’s willing to give her everything but it seems it’s not enough for her. Oh how cruelly ironic.

She seemed to be very into him before, at least after the band got more popular, and with every increase in their popularity, she attached herself to him more and more, but something must’ve gone wrong along the line. You have known for some time that Beomgyu and Haeun have been having relationship troubles but you don’t know exactly what because Beomgyu hasn’t told anyone but you guess it’s really bad if this song is about them.

Is she in love with someone else? Has she lost interest? How could she do it so easily when it’s taking everything in you to do the same. Can she tell you her secret so you can stop suffering and give your heart completely to the man who actually wants it?

How can I go back

To our beginning

When we were looking at the same place

The when we had the same heart

I hope you don’t know it

This feeling

Even though I love you

I still feel alone

He’s hiding it from her, afraid to reveal his feelings–maybe because he thinks she doesn’t feel the same way, that if he reveals them she’ll reject him. You know that feeling all too well. You wish you could protect him from it even if he was the cause of your own similar pain.

As the chorus repeats, you become even more sure that the song is about him. You can hear the anguish so clearly in his voice. Beomgyu has always been so talented, always able to give his all to the song and live it as if it’s his own, but you know him too well. You know this is real pain.

I’m drowning in you

Don’t leave me like this

As the bridge reaches its climax, your body shakes, wanting to lunge forward and take him into your arms, to save him from himself even if it would tear you to pieces. But you can’t. You don’t have the right to anymore. All you can do is sit there and wait for him to finish his song, wait for the boys to discuss it as if it’s not his heart being laid out in the open to be dissected.

“What do you think?” He asks once the song is over, biting the skin of his finger, a nervous habit you’ve always quietly found adorable. You would always grab his hand and kiss the poor finger better, scolding him for hurting himself, but secretly you loved it. You loved having his hand in yours. You loved having an excuse to press your lips against him. And you loved the smile he would always give you in response.

“It’s really good." Kai says, impressed. "Didn’t know that someone as emotionally stunted as you could come up with such a moving song."

"Fuck off." Beomgyu mutters, not in the mood for jokes, obviously nervous to see what the others think.

“Yeah, I like it too. You said you’re thinking of having violins in the opening?” Taehyun asks, picking up a music sheet.

Beomgyu nods. “Yeah. I know we’ve never done that before but I feel like it would really add to the atmosphere of the song.”

"I think it could be fun." Taehyun hums, turning to Soobin. “What do you think?”

"I agree. It's good to experiment a bit while still maintaining our sound which I think this song does really well. It could expose us to more people while still not alienating our existing fanbase.” He praises and Beomgyu smiles, relieved at his song being so well-received by the other members. “I especially like the bridge part. I think once Yeonjun sings it, it would really elevate the song.”

Beomgyu's face falls at that but he quickly covers it up. You furrow your eyebrows. That can't feel good, being compared negatively with Yeonjun, even if Soobin didn't mean it like that.

You look at Yeonjun, who hadn't said a word so far. He was staring at Beomgyu weirdly. Did he not like the song?

You nudge him, giving him a questioning look and he just shakes his head, smiling at you before saying, "I like it. Good job, man."

Beomgyu gives him a tense smile in response, and the group falls into an awkward silence for a few seconds–a weird tension hanging in the air, before Soobin clears his throat and begins discussing how they'll play the song, what parts could be improved and who will get which part. You don’t really listen anymore, just looking between Yeonjun and Beomgyu.

Your boyfriend seems to have gotten over his weird reaction, now focused on the technicalities. Beomgyu is focused too but he doesn’t look as enthusiastic as you expected him to be–as you'd seen him get when talking about his songs before–and it's more proof to you that this is a very personal song to him.

As the boys finally break up after a while, most of them going their separate ways to pack up their stuff and get ready to leave, your boyfriend stays behind with Soobin, still discussing something with him. That’s when you spot Beomgyu alone, putting his guitar in its case, and you take the opportunity to go talk to him, unable to hold yourself back this time.

“Hey, Beomgyu, that song was really good.” You start by saying, wanting to congratulate him on a really good song but also needing an opener. But Beomgyu doesn’t say anything in response, simply giving you a blank look–which fucking hurt but you guess you deserve it–so you continue lamely, trying to get him to respond. “You’re really talented. I don’t think you’re gonna need to moonlight as a stripper anymore.” You try to joke but again he doesn’t really say anything, turning his attention back to his guitar bag which he zips up.

“Umm… Beomgyu, that song… is it about you?” You bite the bullet, and he finally gives you some sort of response, albeit nonverbal. He looks at you like a deer caught in headlights. “Is it about you and Haeun?”

“What?” He frowns and you explain yourself nervously, hoping you weren’t overstepping boundaries that have sprung up in your absence. “Well, the song is about a guy who loves someone who doesn’t feel the same about him and how she’s changing and being distant… is that what’s happening with Haeun?”

He sighs. “Maybe. So what?”

You wince at his callousness, like he doesn’t have time for you. You suppose you brought it on yourself with the way you've been avoiding him. Still you ignore it, determined to tell him what you think anyway. “Well, if it is, you should tell her. Tell her how you feel, she might feel the same way and you don’t even know. You might both be pulling away when all you want is to be with each other.” Yes, you know how hypocritical it is of you to say that but you can’t imagine a world in which anyone would reject Beomgyu’s love. “If you love her then you should tell her, right?”

He snorts. “What do you even know about how I feel? Do you have any idea about the amount of hurt and self-loathing it would cause me if she doesn’t feel the same way? How it would ruin our relationship if she’s not where I am?”

“I know.” You grit down on that same pain. “I know.”

He pauses, his anger burning out as soon as it ignites. Then he asks quietly, “Yeonjun?”

You press down on your lips. You know if you say no then he might figure it out. He might finally discover your wretched secret, so you smile and nod, fully knowing how hypocritical you are being right now. You’re such a fucking coward, you disgust even yourself.

“Right.” He is quiet for a minute, and the atmosphere is charged with weird, unreadable emotions that buzz in your ear and form sparks over your skin. You almost excuse yourself–not really wanting to leave despite how uncomfortable it is but knowing you should. You’ve said what you wanted to say. There is no good reason for you to linger around any longer.

But then Beomgyu speaks again. "Are you happy?"

You pause, frowning in suspicion at the unexpected question, which Beomgyu notices right away and clarifies, "We haven't talked in a while. I wanna make sure you're doing alright." He says, tone genuine… and a bit sad.

"I am." You allow, not being untruthful. You are alright, no matter how bad you feel doing it without him. "We're doing well. Yeonjun is as wonderful as ever. He is sweet and funny and he shows me something new everyday. Which is a bit scary for me–you know how I am afraid of change, but he makes it exciting.”

“I’m glad. I want you to be happy.” He smiles at you. It doesn’t reach his eyes but you know he means it. “And I wish I could be there to see it for myself. Do you think you can let me?”

That’s what you were afraid of. This is why you shouldn’t have talked to him. You knew he might use it to try to get back into your life, and you know how hard it would be for you to say no. But you do it anyway. You have to do it for yourself and for Yeonjun.

“I can’t. Not now.” Each meager letter leaving your mouth feels like a blow to the heart. It lays battered in your chest, asking you why the hell you would refuse it its salvation, but you just push it down again, silencing it.

“But I miss you.” His words come out choppy and weak, and you know he’s holding back tears. You hate him for it because it makes you want to cry too. “Don’t you miss me?”

“Of course, I miss you!” You whisper as if you don’t want the universe to hear it. "I'll always miss you. But I can't keep doing this with you anymore. I'm tired of the whiplash."

"No more whiplash.” He shakes his head harshly, getting closer to you but you step back, causing pain to bloom across his teary face. “I get it now. I've worked through my stuff and I'm ready to be a real friend again."

"Well, I haven't worked through mine.” You stand strong. Or as strongly as you can be under such duress. “I still need time and I will not have you rush me."

He moves back, shoulders hunched down. "I'm sorry."

"I know." You say tiredly before walking away, your bruised heart bleeding out at the bottom of your chest.

____________

Beomgyu’s song has become some kind of a local sensation. It is being listened to by a lot of the young people in your city–resonating with many youths who have gone through similar heartbreaks. From small unrequited crushes to the person you love falling out of love with you–who hasn’t loved more than they have been loved before?

The painfully relatable song has gained the boys a considerable amount of fame online too. They were being asked to do more gigs than ever. They’ve even gotten an interview, which you’re currently preparing them for, dressing them up to look their best on camera.

Like always, you’ve left Beomgyu for last, dreading being close to him still. And he gives you every reason to, staring at you the whole time you fix his clothes.

"What?" You finally ask, and he gives you a dumb look. "What?"

"You're staring." You tell him, and he averts his gaze. You can see from the ear poking out of his long hair that he’s blushing. "Oh. Didn't realize."

Oh, how many times you’ve teased him over the way his ears turn red when he’s embarrassed. It was such an endearing quality in him, just one of the many small reasons that made up the whole of you loving him.

You got back to styling him, pretending it doesn’t tug at your heartstrings anymore, and he goes back to staring at you.

After a long beat of silence, he asks awkwardly, "So what are you up to? What's new with you?"

"Well, I'm the creative director for this up and coming band's new song." You joke, trying to ease off the tension. Or maybe his cute involuntary reaction softened up your defenses a little bit.

"Oh, are they good?" He grins, falling gladly into your familiar banter.

"They are, but I think their bass guitarist only got the job because of his looks."

He gives an affronted gasp. "What the hell? Hater! What, you think just because he's so pretty he can't possibly be talented too? Us pretty people are always misjudged."

"Oh, you poor pretty boy." You reach out to pinch his chin, before you realize what you’re doing and quickly take your hand away, clearing your throat and stepping back. “All done.”

You give him a tense smile and turn to leave but his hand shoots out to grab your wrist.

"Wait." He shouts, and you look down at his hand wrapped around your wrist. He notices your discomfort and immediately lets you go. "Do you want to get together for some food or a movie or something?"

Why does he have to make this so hard? Why does he do this every time?

"Not yet." You repeat what you must’ve told him a dozen times before. You can't slip back into it. Because your skin still buzzes whenever you touch him and your heart clenches painfully around the hole he left in it whenever you see him. You need time apart to fully let the love you have for him go.

"When?” He asks, frustrated. “When will it end? What can I do to help? What do you need me to do so you can be my friend again?"

"I need you to give me space." You say firmly, standing your ground.

“But–”

“No buts, Beomgyu. You’re the one who made it this way. If you had been my friend when I needed you to, we wouldn’t have gotten into this situation. You need to deal with the consequences of your own actions.”

He stares at the ground, not answering you. You sigh, turning around to leave with no restrictions this time.

Though what you said to him about his previous behavior causing a rift between you wasn’t false, it wasn’t entirely the truth either. The other reason you felt you couldn’t be his friend again yet is that you’re still not over him, and you’ve made a promise to yourself and to Yeonjun that you will only be devoting yourself to him from now on, and Beomgyu being there is just going to hinder your progress.

But as you watch the boys do their interview, you can’t help but feel guilty for what you’d said to Beomgyu. You know it was the right thing to do, but seeing him look so glum, his light dimmed and his spirits down, you wish you had held it off at least for later.

He is acting nothing like his normal loud, talkative self. He looks down and doesn’t speak unless directly asked a question. It hurts your heart because you know the people watching this won’t get to see how funny and bright and passionate he is. They’ll see him as the quiet guy staring at his own feet. He might still get some fans who would be into the quiet, sad look but that’s not who Beomgyu is. That’s not what he wants to be known as.

But the rest of the boys are covering for him well, especially Yeonjun. He is so charming, you know he’s gonna be stealing hearts left and right when this airs. He certainly has managed to put a smile on your face despite all the conflicting feelings you’re feeling, and you make sure he sees it whenever he glances in your direction.

_______________

The boys are doing better than ever, more interviews and gigs coming in and filling their schedule up so rapidly they’ll barely have any free time soon. They’re already in talks with a record company looking to sign them. Which is why you’re actively savoring moments like this when you get to just hangout with Yeonjun at the mall, eating a snack as you take a break from shopping–one of your favorite activities to do as a couple.

“Just think, soon enough we won’t even be able to do this. We’d be getting mobbed by crowds wanting your autograph and pushing me out of the way to take pictures of you.” You say to Yeonjun, half-joking. It might really happen one day with how quickly they’re gaining popularity. They might have small fame now but who knows what tomorrow will bring, and you believe in the boys. They’re talented enough to do it, and that both worries you and excites you.

“Well, I’ll only ever have eyes for you.” He winks at you, and you give him a small smile.

In moments like this you should feel happy. You are happy. But your happiness is incomplete. It is shadowed by worry and doubt. Yeonjun is so wonderful. He is so sweet and he can be very caring, but sometimes you can’t help but question how much he really feels for you. It keeps you from letting yourself completely go with him. He tells you words that are supposed to be charming, but they don’t sound personal. They don’t feel deep. You know he likes you, but is he ever going to love you?

Maybe you’re overthinking it. This is what a budding relationship is like–the novelty comes with uncertainty. The first times come with doubt. The young fire sometimes burns. You shouldn’t let yourself ruin it for you.

Yes, your love for him isn’t as old and deep-rooted as your love for Beomgyu but maybe that’s a good thing. It will take time to grow and flourish and become something just as beautiful or even more so. In time, you can learn to let go of your all-consuming love for your best friend, cover that gaping hole that Beomgyu has left in your heart, forget about the way every time you see Beomgyu with her you feel like screaming out so loud the gods themselves will weep–

“Beomgyu.” You gasp, seeing him in front of you. Fuck, he’s like bloody marry. Call his name three times and he appears.

You try to hide, putting your head down and attempting to cover your face with your hair but there is no mistaking Yeonjun’s bright orange head and Beomgyu quickly spots you and makes his way over to you with Haeun of all people.

“Curse your stupid hair.” You hiss at Yeonjun just before Beomgyu and Haeun arrive at the table.

"Hey, guys, are you on a date?" Beomgyu asks as if there was any doubt about it.

"Yes, actually." Yeonjun tells him in a tone that clearly conveys that you don’t want to be disturbed, But Beomgyu doesn’t care, grabbing a chair and pulling it out.

"Oh sweet." He sits down. "How have you guys been?"

“What are you doing, Beommie? We have a lot of shopping to do.” Haeun complains, and every time you hear her call him that you want to claw her tongue out.

"In a minute, baby. Let's rest our legs for a bit." He motions for Haeun to sit down, but she puts her hands on her hips. “I don’t want to rest.”

“Well then you go on and I’ll catch up with you.” He suggests and she huffs, deciding to sit down after all. Oh, joy.

“But I can’t leave you alone, Beommie.” She whines, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his neck, making you almost hurl.

Thankfully, Yeonjun takes your attention away from them. “So, what new crazy thing is your boss asking from you?”

You turn fully to him, trying your best to ignore the disgusting intruders. “Ugh, don’t even get me started. This morning, she–”

“Boss? What boss?” Beomgyu interrupts, and you clench your teeth, preparing yourself before turning your head to look towards him.

“The editor of Elements magazine. She saw the Frost shoot and wanted me to do a pictorial for them.”

“Oh my god, that is amazing.” He shouts, startling Haeun who was so close to his face. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

An awkward moment passes after his mindless question. Because we don’t talk? Because we’re not friends anymore?

Eventually, you decide to just shrug. “I guess it must’ve slipped my mind.”

“Right.” He clears his throat, going along. “Well, show me what you’ve done so far.”

You hesitate, glancing at Yeonjun who sighs and gestures for you to go ahead. So you pull up your phone, showing him some of the pictures you’ve already taken.

"Wow this is real artistic shit." Beomgyu awes and you laugh. Trust in Beomgyu to give such an un-nuanced but still somehow very flattering opinion.

“I don’t get it. It’s just a guy in a bathtub.” Haeun speaks up, obviously intending to antagonize you. “My friend Jiwon takes better pictures than this and he didn’t even go to college. If that’s what they teach you at school then you’ve wasted your money.”

Oh fuck no. You may be spineless but you won’t allow Haeun of all people to make fun of your work. You prepare to launch into a screaming match with her condescending ass, but before you could even open your mouth to speak, Beomgyu beats you to it. “Your friend Jiwon takes back camera pictures of weird strangers on the street and makes up an exaggerated or completely false backstory about them to try to make the obviously amateur pictures appear more interesting. How fucking original.”

Beomgyu’s quick defense of you makes your heart swell. Some things never change.

“Yeah? Like this is original!” She sputters indignantly.

“I know it’s nothing groundbreaking.” You interrupt their quarrel, “Like a guy in a tub staring longingly at the camera isn’t something that hasn’t exactly been done before but… umm, it’s actually inspired by your song. The colored water is supposed to represent love, you know the “I’m drowning in you” part? It’s killing him but he can’t get himself to get out. He wants to drown in it… I don’t know it may be stupid but I hope you don’t mind.”

"Oh. No, I'm… flattered." He trails off, staring at you wide-eyed. “I didn’t think I would be able to inspire you again…”

“Yeah, well...” You mumble bashfully, a charged moment passes over you as you stare silently at each other.

"Are you done?" Haeun complains, and for once you’re thankful to her for cutting the strange moment. "I'm bored. Let's go."

“We haven’t even eaten anything yet. Take a look at the menus and order something for us, won’t you?” He asks her, but doesn’t even wait for her response before turning back to you. "You know what would be hilarious. If you get the editor to let you do a shoot with the plastic watermelon dress you made."

“It’s not plastic.” You roll your eyes at him, knowing exactly which dress he’s referring to. “It’s coral organza.”

“Looked like plastic to me.” He shrugs with a mischievous grin on his face.

“That’s because you're fashion illiterate.”

“Hey, I’ll have you know I’m very fashion forward and hip.” He proclaims, sounding decidedly NOT neither fashion forward nor hip.

“Yes, because a punk guitarist wearing ratty shirts and ripped jeans is so revolutionary.” You drawl teasingly and he pouts, pulling at his shirt. “Hey! You were there when I picked these out. You said I looked cool.”

“Yeah, she’ll say you look cool wearing a garbage bag.” Yeonjun scoffs and you blush, realizing that you’ve completely neglected Yeonjun as soon as Beomgyu got here. You move back from your huddled forward stance to lean against your boyfriend.

“What?” Beomgyu asks and you quickly brush Yeonjun’s comment off. “Nothing. Now Yeonjun is very stylish. He knows all the trends and he knows how to make them work for him.”

Beomgyu snorts, glancing at your hand that is caressing Yeonjun’s chest. “I don’t follow trends. I make trends.”

“That’s right, baby. You’re a trendsetter.” Haeun coos, getting her hands on him too, touching him much more inappropriately than you were touching Yeonjun.

But Beomgyu ignores her once again, asking you, "How did you even reach the editor of Elements?"

"Oh, Yeonjun knew her." Your hand falls down to wrap around Yeonjun’s, squeezing it reassuringly.

“Of course, Yeonjun knows the editor." For some reason that piece of information really seemed to annoy Beomgyu. But you ignore his unnecessarily snarky tone and turn to smile at Yeonjun, hoping he’d forgive you for your earlier mishap. “Yeah, he’s amazing, isn’t he?”

"Yes, he’s great.” Beomgyu mutters, standing up. “I think me and Haeun have stuff to do. Let’s go, baby."

"Yes!" She claps happily, standing up too.

"Oh, okay. Bye, I guess." You mumble, watching them abruptly scurry off as you try to process the weird interaction. "What's wrong with him?"

“Maybe he’s just being his usual weird self.” Yeonjun shrugs, removing his hand from yours, making you frown. "Or maybe he feels inadequate because I was able to get you the job and he couldn't."

"That's ridiculous." Why would Beomgyu feel inadequate about that? He doesn’t have any obligation to get you work.

"Is it? If I was in love with a girl and another guy gave her what I couldn't. I would be pretty bummed out too."

"What?" The world suddenly screeches to a halt, as does Yeonjun. He looks at you, slowly contemplating something as if he doesn’t know that the world has stopped and is waiting on him.

Finally, he sighs. "I tried to ignore it. Partly because the idiot is trying to hide it and partly because I like you, but ever since we got together, it's been pretty damn hard to ignore. Beomgyu is clearly in love with you.”

"No. You’re getting it wrong.” You shake your head, hoping to get rid of the cotton that has replaced your brain, your thoughts feeling fuzzy and slow as they travel through it. “He's just upset because he thinks us dating will drive me and him apart… which I guess has been true."

"No, he's upset because he wants to be with you and it's killing him to see us together.” Yeonjun clarifies, irritated at having to explain to you how some other guy is in love with you.

"How can you be so sure? Did he tell you that?"

"He doesn't have to tell me. I have eyes…" He looks you up and down. "And well, I'm not stupid like you two."

"That's ridiculous." You denounce once more.

"You said that already."

"Well, it is! Beomgyu doesn’t love me. I mean as a friend, sure but not… like that."

"Oh my god, I'm dealing with two idiots. I don’t even know why the fuck I’m explaining this to you but here goes,” Yeonjun exclaims in frustration, obviously not enjoying this conversation any more than you are. “Think about it, no guy gets this worked up over just a fuck. His first explanation of his anger being just because he’s afraid our relationship is going to ruin the band was total bullshit. It was just to throw you off his scent and have a way to get you to stay away from me without revealing anything. And his second explanation is even more bullshit. Why the fuck would us being in a relationship make you lose him as a friend if he didn’t hold anything but platonic love for you? Why does he get mad every time you and I take a step forward in our relationship? Because he’s fucking in love with you. He literally wrote a whole song about how he’s secretly in love with you and it’s killing him that you’re not his!"

“That song was about me?” You ask and he gives you a look as if to say he can’t believe a single human being can be this dumb. “No, it’s obviously about the girl he’s been ignoring the entire time he was sat with us just so he could talk to you.”

Your mouth opens slowly, tongue dry as it forms the words. "Let’s say he does love me. Why wouldn't he just tell me?"

"Why wouldn't you just tell him?"

You sputter uselessly for a while, not really saying anything. Until you give up and just stop, submerging the both of you in a suffocating silence. You’d think that your thoughts would be racing a million miles an hour right now, trying to process all this information, but nothing is going through your head except one question.

Beomgyu loves me? Beomgyu loves me? Beomgyu loves me?

You’re only taken out of your looping thought when Yeonjun sighs again. "Well, this was fun while it lasted."

"What?" Your mouth hangs open, your frozen brain somehow still having enough power to be shocked.

"You're obviously still completely in love with him. When he's there it's like you don't even see me. You don't see anyone else." Yeonjun says defeatedly.

"No, I–" You try to deny, but he gives you a pointed look, daring you to lie to him.

“Okay, I love him but I’m with you.”

“Only to get over him.”

You shake your head vehemently. “No. My feelings for you are real. Don’t you dare deny that.”

“Maybe, but they’re not as strong as your feelings for him.”

“But they can be.” You insist–trying to convince yourself or him, you don’t know. Maybe if you give me the chance to–”

“To what? Wait and see if you’ll finally look for me first when you walk into a room instead of him? Pretend that I don’t know that time and distance haven’t dulled your love for him one bit? I can’t go on in a relationship where I know my partner will always be thinking ‘what if’. I won’t let myself be hurt like that by you. Not anymore.”

You tear up. You were hurting him? You didn't even think he cared all that much. You must be a terrible judge of character to be getting both boys so wrong. “I’m sorry, Yeonjun. I never meant to hurt you. I really, really tried.”

You really did. You didn’t do this just to get over Beomgyu. Yes, it was part of it, but you liked him too. You really thought this could work, and you really think it would have if Beomgyu wasn’t in the picture, and so you did everything in your power to take him out of it. You moved out from your apartment. You cut Beomgyu off. You dedicated yourself to Yeonjun.

But how can you stop your heart from beating for Beomgyu? It’s entirely out of your control.

"But you did anyway.” He says and you wince, one tear escaping your lashes and falling down the left side of your face. “Do you hate me?”

“I could never hate you.” He sighs, and your lips tremble as you confess, “I wish you would. It might make me feel better.”

“Maybe you don’t deserve to feel better.” His words pierce your heart, and you know you deserve every ounce of pain it inflicts.

“That’s fair.”

You’re both silent for a long while–you trying to keep your tears under control, not wishing for him to see it as any intention to garner sympathy or guilt from him, and him sitting there quietly, his thoughts entirely hidden from you, but you know there is pain and anger in him. You can feel it radiating off of him.

But eventually your tears dry out, and you gather enough courage to ask one last thing of him. “I know I have no right to ask this but can you not tell Beomgyu about us breaking up? I don’t want him to know yet. But don’t worry, I’ll gather my things and move out. You won’t have to live with me.”

"You're not done playing games?" He frowns and you shake your head. "I'm not. It’s just because you guys are working out that record deal and if anything goes wrong, I don’t want to risk ruining things for you.”

“Fine.” Yeonjun graciously accepts. “And you can stay. I’m not gonna kick you out into the street. I’m not that kinda guy.”

____________________

Despite your love for Beomgyu, your break-up with Yeonjun wasn’t easy. You really liked him and had grown attached to him. And even though you still lived together, you hardly talked when it was just the two of you alone. You realize with time just how hurt he is by everything even though he tries his best to hide it from the others–not just because they think you’re still together, but because he has always refused to burden his younger members with his troubles, ever the selfless older brother. It’s one of the qualities you both admired and despised about him simultaneously. You wanted him to share his fears and worries, to lighten the load on his shoulders, and for a short while you were able to do that for him, but now that you’ve broken up, he’s left to carry all of it by himself again and with heartbreak to boot.

You feel incredibly guilty about it, and you mourn for the love that could’ve blossomed between you had you not been so hung up about your best friend. The best friend you still haven’t talked to by the way.

Yeonjun's words have not left your mind since the day he revealed everything to you. No moment passes by when you don't think about them. But you haven’t confronted Beomgyu about it yet because the record deal was still underway, and because you weren’t sure if Yeonjun is even right about it all. What if he’s wrong?

Yeah, what? You'll ruin your friendship with Beomgyu? It's already in shambles anyway. Still, the rejection will be brutal. You've lived in the shadows for years. You're used to ignoring your feelings, that kind of pain is familiar to you now, but if you reveal them to Beomgyu and he shoots you down, you might not bear it.

You'll tell him soon enough though, after the party tonight. The boys have finally reached an agreement with the record company and the contract has come through. They're officially signed to a label now and tonight’s party is a small celebration of that.

You’ll do it after the party tonight. You’ll ask to talk to him after everyone leaves and you’ll confess everything. You're ready to come clean and end it all. Well, as ready as you can be.

But as the party drags on, you get restless, and when you spot Beomgyu alone, refilling his drink, you can’t help but steal a little moment with him.

“Congratulations, Beommie. I hear your song sealed the deal.” You smile widely, your lips buzzing with the desire to tell him what you really want to say–that you love him, that you’re proud of him, and that if his song is really about you then he needs to know that you’ve always been his.

“Yeah. I’m not so useless after all.” Beomgyu’s reply is short and bitter.

“What?”

Yeonjun’s words ring in your ears. If I was in love with a girl and another guy gave her what I couldn't. I would be pretty bummed out too. Is this Beomgyu being insecure like Yeonjun said?

But before you can get him to clarify what he means, Haeun comes running over, incapable of leaving him alone for more than a minute. Can you really blame her? If you had him, you would never let him go either.

“Baby, there you are! My star boy.” She throws her arms around him, pulling him into an open mouthed kiss that makes you want to vomit.

You quickly retreat, not having missed the soft-core porn you used to witness while living with Beomgyu. Fucking Yeonjun, is this what he calls Beomgyu being in love with you? You don’t see him pushing her away or anything. He seems pretty happy with the kiss if his tongue in her mouth is any indication.

"Foul." You mutter, swigging your cider, almost choking on it when a voice speaks up next to you. "That can't be good for the heart, huh?"

You look at Yeonjun sheepishly, not sure if you can talk to him about this. After all, you did break up because of your love for the man currently getting his face sucked off by Haeun. So you just settle on mumbling out a weak yeah.

"Well, you know you could always fix it by confronting him about his undying love for you." He tells you and you can’t help but snort, annoyance overcoming your trepidation. "Yeah, right. He's so heartbroken, he's going to drown his sorrows in her pussy."

“He’s just doing this because he thinks we’re still together. If he knows you’re free, I can guarantee you he’ll be dropping her so fast she won’t hit the ground before he’s on his knees for you.”

“How can you be so confident?” You ask and he shrugs. “Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.”

He walks away, leaving you to think over his words. Funny, that’s how you feel about the sight still playing out in front of you, the disgusting view getting burned into your retinas.

Deciding you needed a break, you slip away from the living room, heading towards the bathroom to wash your face off. But on the way there, you pass by your old room, stopping when you see the door slightly cracked open.

Your feet take you inside without you realizing it, compelled by curiosity to see what he’s done with the room in your absence. Has he turned it into a gaming room? Is he using it for storage? Is he letting her use it as her own? Oh, god, you really hope not. Anything but that.

But you’re surprised when you step inside and find it mostly empty except for your old mattress and a few items you must’ve forgotten during your move. A T-shirt here, a sleeping mask there–they were all strewn around on your bed with the odd piece of clothing from Beomgyu himself in the mix.

You step closer, examining the items when something in particular catches your eyes. A flash of pink under a pillow that makes you reach forward to pull it out, realizing just what it was once it’s in your hands–a pair of pink panties. Your pink panties that you’d been missing for a while. Why does Beomgyu have this? You thought he just used this because he was so pent up he needed any form of release but now Haeun is never off his dick so why does he still do this?

Could Yeonjun have been right all along?

As you continue to hold it in your hands, puzzling over it, you hear the door open and close behind you and Beomgyu’s panicky voice calling out your name.

"What are you doing in here?" He squeaks as if this wasn’t your room. Well, your old room but still. It’s not like he made any changes to it yet.

You turn to face him with the panties in your hands, silent, and his eyes grow wide as he stammers, trying to explain himself. “These are old.”

“They’re wet.” You say plainly, which means he has just used them, and he knows it too.

He scoffs, attempting to appear unaffected. As if this is just a completely reasonable situation that you’ve blown way out of proportion. “Well–it’s just–they were on hand.” He gives you what may possibly be the flimsiest excuse in history.

Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

"Did you leave these out for me to see?" You question, and he rushes to deny. "No! I just forgot to put them away."

His eyes widen again at what he just said, basically admitting that he took them from you on purpose to do with them exactly what you had in mind. God, he's such a stupid loser.

You walk towards him until you’re standing right in front of him, leaving him no room to breathe. “Make everyone leave.”

“It’s our celebratory party, I can’t just–”

You grab his hand and put it under your skirt, pressing his fingers against your warm pussy. “And I want to give you your reward. Make them leave.”

He looks at you, shocked, and suddenly you realize what you're asking of him. You're coming onto him after weeks of ignoring him. You're asking him to have sex with you when he has a girlfriend–when he thinks you have a boyfriend. Oh god.

But then he gulps and says. "Okay."

You watch from behind the door as he stops the music and kicks everyone out, telling them that he doesn’t feel good and needs to rest, and when Kai complains loudly, he asks him if he’d like to stay back and hold his hair while he vomits. That quickly convinces everyone to take the party elsewhere, even his girlfriend. But one person knows better, and you see him peeking around Beomgyu to catch your hidden eyes. You share a look before he turns around and leaves the apartment. This is it. You’re going to do this.

As soon as Beomgyu comes back, you pull him into a kiss, releasing your overflowing nerves with each frustrated and needy moan you let out against his lips. Fuck, you missed kissing him so much. His lips may not be as soft as Yeonjun’s–he may not be as good of a kisser–but god does he still make your heart sing.

“Strip.” You order when you finally tear yourself away from him, though Beomgyu doesn’t make it easy, resisting you the first couple of times you try and pulling you right back into the hungry kiss. But you finally do, and Beomgyu doesn’t hesitate to follow your cue then.

After he’s all stripped down, he looks at you, gaze speaking of his own need to devour you. “Will you strip too?”

“Do you want it?” You ask, putting on an alluring voice but deep down you were just nervous about letting him see you fully for the first time. Even though your experience with Yeonjun has made you gain confidence, you’re still insecure, especially when it comes to Beomgyu. You want to impress him. You want him to think you’re the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. You want him to forget about her. You want him to only think of you.

Naturally, that is a lot to live up too.

Beomgyu nods enthusiastically, somehow managing to come across as adorable in this situation. “Yes, please. Take it all off.”

He tries to reach out to do it himself but you shake your head, pushing him onto the bed.

“No. We do this my way.” You tell him, and he nods again, keeping himself in check.

You reach for the zipper on your dress, hesitantly letting it fall to the floor. You aren’t wearing any bra so now you are almost nude except for your panties as you stand in front of him.

“Fuck. You’re so hot.” He takes his cock into his hand, pumping it as he leers at you. You should feel dirty having him openly masturbate to the sight of you but it makes you feel so fucking good about yourself. It’s just what you needed–for him to show you how much he wants you. “Please, take off your panties too. Wanna see your pussy.”

Despite his lewd display–or more accurately because of it–you’re given the courage to finally fully undress yourself in front of him, overcoming years of insecurities of what he’ll think of your body and any unfavorable comparisons he might make.

“Oh fuck–” He licks his lips, squeezing his cock as he stares at your pussy. “You’re perfect.”

“You think so?” You ask demurely, trying to hide your shock. Is he really telling the truth? It feels like it but you still need confirmation after years of doubting yourself.

“God, yes. Your tits are divine. I wanna suck on them and play with them all night. Your little pussy is so pretty, I wanna be buried in it forever. Come here, please, ride me, sit on my face, anything…”

Is this what you were worried about all these years? He looks pretty fucking happy with what he’s seeing. Why were you so scared? You’re so mad at yourself for wasting all this time with self-doubt when you could’ve had him long ago.

“You really need that?” You throw your panties at him, feeling more confident than ever after his proclamations. “Isn't this usually enough for you?”

“No, please, you said you’d give me a reward." He whines, distraught at the thought of you being so close but not attainable yet again. "I’ve been good.”

“Have you?” You scoff, straddling him, pressing your pussy against his cock and his body goes limp, letting you do what you want. “You’ve been nothing but a horndog, getting your rocks off wherever you can, whether it’s backstage getting sucked off by her or stealing my panties and fisting your cock with them. You’ve been such a bad boy.”

“I’m sorry.” He slurs, mouth hanging open.

"Are you? You seem to be enjoying this."

"I'm sorry." He repeats again, staring at your pussy as it moves forwards and backwards over his cock, covering it in your slick.

"You're fucking hopeless, Beomgyu. You'd do anything to get a piece of me, huh?"

"Yes." He nods eagerly, "Can you sit on my face?"

You laugh, climbing up his body until you’re hovering over his face and digging your fingers in his hair to keep his head down so he wouldn’t make any unwanted moves before you’re ready. "Is my pussy the only thing on your empty brain?"

"Uh-huh." He says dumbly, almost going cross eyes with the way he's staring at your pussy. You fucking love it. This is what you needed–to be needed. And Beomgyu gives it all to you without you even asking for it.

"Good boy." You tell him and he shoots you a searing look at that–at you finally calling him that again–before you sit down on his face.

You try not to put too much weight on him, not wanting to hurt him but Beomgyu has other ideas. He grabs your ass and pulls you down on his ready mouth, tongue flicking out to give eager licks to your already wet pussy.

"Bad–bad boy–" You hiss, pulling at his hair but he won't let go, too intent on eating you out, nuzzling his whole lower face into your pussy, his tongue and lips alternating between long messy licks and needy sucking motions, his nose brushing against your clit every now and then in his fervor.

"Fuck, Beomgyu slow down."

But that word isn't in Beomgyu's dictionary, not when he's wanted this for so long. His fingers dig into your ass, making sure you can’t escape as his tongue presses inside your hole, flicking around as much as he can while your pussy flutters around it.

"So good–tastes so good." He slurs, drool and your juices covering his lower face but he doesn’t even care. In fact if anything it turns him on if his hard, leaking cock that you see when you throw a glance backwards is anything to go by.

"You fucking the air, Beommie?" You pant, not faring much better than him but needing to tease him anyway. "Need my pussy this bad?"

But Beomgyu can't be teased. Not when he's so shameless.

"Yes. Will you sit on my cock?"

"How bad do you need it?" You sit up, pulling away from him and cutting off strings of your combined need.

"So bad. Feels like I might die without it."

"You sound like a horny fuckboy, Beommie. You know I only like good boys." You chastise, and Beomgyu shoots back, "Is that why you’re dating a whore?"

You growl, sinking back on his face, this time not caring so much about your weight over him. "Don't talk about Yeonjun like that."

He turns his face to the side to nip at your thigh in protest so you just straighten his head again and sit down on him fully, not allowing him any space to move. "You know the only whore here is you. So stick your tongue out like a good whore and let me ride it or I'll leave your dirty cock all red and weeping."

He whines in fear, sticking his tongue out for you, not daring to risk it. You move yourself over him, grinding your pussy over his tongue as he stares up at you pleadingly.

“You like it, baby? You like me using you to get off?”

He moans out in response, not having any other way to communicate his agreement and not willing to pull away from you. But you hear a wet noise coming from behind you and you look back to see him fisting his cock, clearly excited by it all. He wants this as much as you do. He has been begging for it for so long, and so you’re not so cruel as to make him take his hand away, but you need to make sure your excitement doesn’t end too soon.

“Fuck, you really wanted this, huh? Can’t help yourself whenever you get a taste of this pussy?” You tease, and he whines again, his cock thrusting into his own fist pitifully. “But don’t get too excited. You want to feel this pussy around you, don’t you?”

The needy noises he keeps letting out vibrate against your pussy, driving you even wilder as you pull on his hair harshly and desperately grind yourself on his tongue, your high so close you could taste it.

“Good boy, gonna make me cum… you want it? Want me to cum all of that pretty face?” You growl, and his hands leave his cock to grab your ass, pressing you so tightly against him, you worry that he won’t be able to breathe.

But Beomgyu clearly loves it. He wants you to do it. He moves your hips so you’re fucking his face harder, faster, all while those slutty eyes of his never leave your face.

“I’m cumming–fuck, Beommie… good boy–” You scream, shuddering as you cum over him. But as you stop moving, paralyzed by the intense orgasm, he starts moving his tongue, lapping up every drop you let out, giving your pussy open mouthed filthy kisses as he wraps his lips around you and eagerly sticks his tongue into your hole to get even more.

You have to pull away from him when it becomes too much, and Beomgyu chases after you, not having had his fill yet somehow. He's still so needy that he ends up pushing you down and laying over you, his lips incessant against yours as his cock lays heavy on your pussy.

You tug on his hair, finally detaching his lips from yours. "That's enough, Beomgyu."

“I made you cum.” He says in a daze, a stupid smile on his face.

“Yes, you did.” You wipe his bottom lip with your thumb before sticking it in his mouth, letting him suck on it. It’s useless of course. The entire bottom half of his face was glistening with your cum. Not that you were actually trying to clean him up. You liked seeing him covered in you too much. “Ready for your reward, baby?”

“Fuck, yes, please.” He groans, his hips bucking up against you, gliding his cock against your wet pussy. "Wanna fuck you so bad. Can I put it in now?"

"Are you gonna keep being a good boy for me? Gonna listen to my instructions and not let your cock take over your dumb brain and make you hump me like a dog?"

He shakes his head even though he was literally humping you right now. "I'll listen. I'll be so good."

"Okay, Beommie. You can put it in–slowly!"

He rushes to push his cock inside your pussy, only stopping when it's all the way inside you. "Oh god–I'm finally inside you. Wanted it for so long."

This is exactly what you had been missing. This is what you needed that Yeonjun wasn't able to give to you. Beomgyu isn't shy when expressing how much he wants you. He'll beg and plead until you give it to him.

"Can I move, baby?" He asks, voice strained with the effort of holding back.

You nod. "Go ahead. But slowly."

He makes a valiant effort, pulling his hips back and thrusting in slowly, shuddering every time his cock is fully enveloped by your pussy.

“Good?" You ask as if his mouth wasn't hung open, as if his eyes weren't all hazy, as if he wasn't holding onto you for dear life.

"So good. Can't believe I'm fucking you."

Neither can you. You had really begun to lose hope but here you are, laid on your back with Beomgyu fucking you, following your instruction as best he could–the strain of it obvious on his face. It's everything you wanted and you finally have it.

"Can I touch your tits?" He pleads, giving you his classic puppy eyes and you smile. "Go ahead, honey."

He groans, reaching out and cupping them in his hands. "Oh god. Missed them." He leans down and attaches his lips to them, biting and kissing all over them as his hips pick up speed.

"Beomgyu…" You warn, pulling on his hair. He fights against you, looking up but not detaching from your tits. "Don't get ahead of yourself now. You want me to feel good too, don't you?"

He nods, his face still firmly buried in your lips but finally letting go of your nipple to moan out, "Yes, wanna make you feel better than anyone else."

His own words rile him up and he bites down on the skin next to your areola, making sure not to hurt you but still expressing his frustration.

"You're such a bratty baby." You scold him, but in reality you love it. You love how possessive and needy he is acting. It doesn't allow a single negative or insecure thought to enter your mind. How could it when he's so obvious about his need for you? "You can go faster now, baby."

"Oh, thank you." He groans, hips picking up speed.

"Better, honey?" You pant, brushing his wet hair out of his face so you can fully see how lost he is in the feeling of your pussy wrapped around him.

"So much better. Never wanna stop." He leans down, kissing you harshly, lips opening and closing around yours, his tongue pressing into your mouth hungrily. His hands grab at your thighs, pushing them against your body as he goes even faster, a constant stream of whines and whimpers released into your mouth.

You force yourself to sober up despite the smoldering fire breaking out in your body from the way he's fucking you so good. You want him to keep going. You want him to keep fucking you until your mind has turned to mush and your limbs have turned to jelly. But you can’t let him have it this easily. You can't let him get away with the amount of pain and suffering he has caused you. He needs to feel it too, even if just a fraction of it. He needs to feel the longing and despair he has made you feel for so long.

"Slow down." You order, pulling his head away from you, doing it extra mean just the way he likes it.

"No, no, please." He cries, not slowing down. "Please… I thought this was a reward. You’re driving me crazy."

"Do you want me to push you down and tie your hand to the headboard to make sure you behave?" You threaten, trying to keep your voice under control against the incessant thrusts of his cock into your poor pussy. "It's only gonna be worse for you."

"No. No. Wanna keep touching you." He blabbers, hands groping at every inch of you he could reach, worried you'd make good on your threats.

"Then be good." You suck in a sharp breath as he pulls on your nipples before kneading the soft flesh.

"I will. I'm your good boy, right?" He slurs, his hips slowing down.

Damn, he's really addicted to hearing you say that, huh?

"Yes, you are. You’re my best boy." You coo, stroking his soft hair and he nuzzles into your hand like a puppy, seeking any form of contact with you.

"Thank you." He groans, fingers digging into your skin as he tries to hold himself back, his poor cock screaming at him to just take you like he wants. "So pretty. Look so pretty getting fucked."

"Yeah? Is it how you imagined it when you'd fuck my panties?" You ask but once again Beomgyu has no shame, his hips faltering at the reminder of his debauched actions.

"Better. So pretty. So tight. Could stay in your cunt forever." He almost drools at the thought, and you really believe he'd love to do just that.

"Dirty boy. Dirty little boy going all dumb for me." You stroke his face lovingly and he peers at you with pleading eyes. "Baby, please, hurts… can I go faster?"

"Aw, poor pup, do you need to hammer your cock into my pussy that bad?" You scold, giving his face light slaps.

"Uh-huh… will make you feel good. I promise." He babbles, his hips already going faster as if he's sure you'll give him permission.

"No." This may or may not be the one and only time you get to fuck him. You need to savor it. "Slow down."

Your hands go to his hips, clawing at his skin to slow down his thrusts and he relents, albeit begrudgingly. "You're so mean."

"But you love it." You laugh at his tearful pout. "God, you love it so much you can't stop shaking your hips like a whore. It's like you've never been fucked before.”

"I haven't. You’re my first.” He admits, knocking any remaining breath out of your lungs.

This is his first time. He and Haeun never did it? What the fuck?

"Did you let him fuck you?" He asks, and you stay silent. He knows you’ve fucked Yeonjun. There is no way he thinks you live with Yeonjun and aren’t fucking him. But then again, he hasn’t fucked Haeun, and you were so sure that he did.

"Did you?" He asks again, an edge to his voice and you nod minutely. "I didn't know. I thought you and Haeun–"

Beomgyu's whole face changes. "God, you're such a slut. Fucking two men at the same time."

You immediately get defensive. Yeonjun was your boyfriend. You had dated for months. You’re not a whore for fucking him. It would be more understandable if he’s referring to the fact (or what he thinks is a fact) of you fucking him when you have a boyfriend, but you’re almost certain that’s not what he’s upset about. He’s just jealous you’ve fucked Yeonjun at all. "Just because she won't let you put it in, doesn't make me a slut."

That just angers him more, and he practically bends you in half as his dick pumps in and out of you at a brutal pace, his anger at what you’ve done making him lose it, not caring about your instructions anymore. "I hate you."

You laugh, fighting hard to hide the pain his statement elicits in your gut as well as to keep your voice steady as he practically plows his cock into you. God, he makes you so mad but he’s fucking you so good.

"But you sure love my pussy."

"My pussy." He growls, catching you off guard once again. He bends his head down to kiss your neck harshly, and can already feel the marks blooming there under his teeth. "Mine. Not his. All mine."

"What?” You sputter. Is this it? Is this how he confesses to you? “Beomgyu, what–”

"Shut up." He smacks your ass, not willing to hear your protests right now. "You've played with me long enough. Now be good and take it."

Played with him? What the hell is he talking about? You’ve never played with him. But any attempt to get a sane answer out of him right now is useless as the sounds of skin slapping against skin fills the room and Beomgyu latches his mouth onto yours, trying to dominate you in a way he has never attempted to do before–as if he’s trying to prove that you really are his.

And you are. He may not know it but you’ve always been his.

But his strong facade is paper-thin and you can see right through it to the insecure boy below when he pulls back to look at you. “Fuck, why did you have to be so pretty?”

“Make me cum, Beommie.” You murmur, moving a hand between your bodies to rest over your pussy, your middle and index fingers on either side of his cock as it fucks into you. “Do you feel how wet I am for you? I’m soaking the bed, baby.”

“Fuck…” He pulls your hand away, taking a look at how wet it has become already before he grunts and pushes one of your thighs against the bed to allow space for his own hand between your bodies, quickly finding your pussy to rub your clit.

“Oh… oh, fuck… baby…” You gasp, back arching as you’re quickly hurled towards your orgasm. “That’s it, honey. Make me cum on your big cock.”

He groans, his hips stuttering as your pussy begins to clench around him. “Don’t talk like that. Gonna make me lose it.”

“It riles you up when I talk dirty to you? Tell you how good you're fucking me?”

He nods.

“Dirty boy.” You moan out for him, “Do it. Empty that cock inside me. Want my pussy dripping with you.”

“Holy s-shit,” Beomgyu cries, and you feel his cum shooting inside of you, his hips not stopping for a second. And though his thrusts become erratic, his thumb keeps up its assault on your clit until your pussy is clamping down on his cock and milking the last drops of cum from him. “Good girl. My good girl.”

He fucks you through your orgasm, babbling on about how pretty you are and how well you took it. He looks so fucking pathetic with his shiny eyes and needy whimpers that before you even know it, he’s ripping another orgasm out of your already fucked out body.

“Goddammit, Beomgyu…” You squeal, toes curling at the very intense second orgasm, your body shuddering with the unexpected sharp waves of pleasure racking through it. And through it all, Beomgyu continues fucking you. You can feel his cock begin to harden once again inside you, and as the brutal second orgasm leaves your body, you wince at the overstimulation, putting your hands against his sweaty chest and starting to push him away.

“That’s enough, Beomgyu. I can’t take any more.”

But he resists you, shaking his head. “One more. Please, one more.”

“No.” You tell him firmly, “Don’t be bad. Pull out.”

He searches your face for any hint of leniency, his big pretty eyes trying to convince you to change your mind but you can’t. He’s fucked you so hard, your poor pussy requires a much needed rest.

You both watch as he slowly pulls out, his once again hard cock glistening with your cum and his, his seed dripping down your ass now that he wasn’t plugging your pussy up.

“Oh, baby, does that hurt?” You coo, grabbing his cock. He lets out a sigh of relief as you begin stroking it. “Yeah. So bad.”

The little shit is milking this, but you play along. “Poor baby. Let me make it go away.” You grin, suddenly speeding up, the slide of your hand so easy when his cock is well-lubricated. You make sure to maintain your position, with him hovering over your splayed open body so he can rake his eyes over it, and you clearly seeing him struggling to choose where to look between your tits that jiggle as you jerk him off quickly, the cum leaking out of your puffy pussy, and your swollen lips as you swipe your tongue over them.

It doesn’t take long for you to have him spilling his seed again, landing on your tummy as he doubles over and buries his head in your neck.

“That’s it, good boy.” You praise him, using your free hand to stroke his long hair that you love so much.

You let him lay there for a whole, catching his breath that is so irregular and stuttered that you almost don’t notice when he starts crying if it wasn’t for the hot tears falling on your skin.

“Beomgyu?” You call out, and a heart-breaking sob breaks out of his chest.

"Please, come back to me." He croaks against your neck.

"What?" You sit up, making him sit up with you and pulling his face away from your shoulder so you can look at him, your heart sinking at the tears streaming down his face. "I can't fucking bear seeing you with him any longer. It hurts so much."

Oh fuck.

"Beomgyu… Yeonjun isn't–" You try to explain that you and Yeonjun had broken up but he cuts you off.

"It's not him, it's you!" He shouts, "I love you and I can't bear it any longer. And I know it's selfish and that you don't love me back, at least not in that way, but then you keep messing with me."

He loves you? He really loves you?

"But I thought you loved Haeun?" You need to know what exactly is happening with him and Haeun first.

"I thought I did too but whenever I'm with her, I find myself thinking of you. You’re always in my head, it ruins every moment I have with her. She hates you too, you know? She can't stand how much I love you. The reason we haven't fucked is not because she won't put out. It's because I only want you. I didn't want to lose it to anyone else but you."

"Beomgyu–"

"But you don’t fucking care. You just see me as your disgusting best friend who you can play with and push away when you're done with him and I can't even bring myself to hate you for it. That's how much I love you. So just please… please give me a break."

“You think I was playing with you?” The idea seems absurd to you. How can he possibly think that? You've done everything in your power to not show how much you love him but never in your wildest dreams would you think that would mean he would see it as you playing with him.

“Weren’t you? I mean the way you spoke to me… you always pushed me away. I had to beg each time for you to even kiss me.” He peers at you, pain and vulnerability shining in his eyes as he recalls the way you treated him.

Fuck, you've been so obsessed with not letting your love for him show that you've done the same thing to him you thought he was doing to you. Knowing that pain all too well, you can’t bear the thought of being the cause of it.

You grab his face in your hands and kiss him, intending to pour out your own feelings the same way he did, hoping to staunch the flood of heartbreak you’re witnessing and calm him down enough for him to realize you feel the same way.

But his reaction wasn't what you expected. He breaks down crying. "You're so cruel."

"No, no! I love you too!" Your hands are in a flurry around his face, wiping his tears, stroking his hair, caressing his cheeks, anything to calm him down.

"What? This is not funny." He sobs, looking like a wounded animal. Your heart aches at the sight.

"No, fuck, I've loved you for years! The whole friends with benefits thing I started was just an excuse to have a way to be with you."

He stares at you in utter shock, the confusion the only thing stopping his tears from drowning you. "But you never even hinted that you liked me. You called me all kinds of names, freak, disgusting, pervert…"

"I thought you liked these..." You trail off sheepishly.

"I did but it still makes a guy think.” He mumbles, his fingers playing with yours nervously. “You wouldn’t let me touch you or kiss you."

"I was afraid if I let you kiss me, I wouldn't want you to stop. And I didn’t want you to touch me because I was afraid you wouldn’t like what you saw." It sounds so silly now that you're saying it out loud–now that you know he loves you and has wanted you just as badly.

"That's stupid. I had already seen it all." He tells you casually and you frown. "When?"

"You don't always shut the door when you're changing." He shrugs.

"Pervert!" You gasp, hitting him with no real power behind it. "What about you? You never hinted at anything either. You only ever talked about my body."

"Well, it did start just physical but I quickly realized that I'm in love with you. Then I kept only mentioning your body because you'd freak out on me whenever I hinted at anything else."

"Fair." You pout, realizing you’ve done as much to hurt yourself as he did.

"I didn't want to let it show that I loved you because I was so afraid you'd pull away like you did a couple of times. And then you were with Yeonjun and it fucking killed me so I had to pretend it was just sexual."

"Oh god, that's exactly what I've been doing.” You cover your face with your hands, mortified at your stupidity. We're fucking dumbasses."

“Yes, we are.” He replies fondly, taking your hands away from your face so you can look at him, refusing to let you hide anymore. "So you'll break up with him and be with me?"

"We broke up a while back.” You admit sheepishly. “He said he can't be with me when you and I are clearly in love with each other."

“So let me get this straight, Yeonjun could tell we love each other but somehow we, the two people involved, didn’t have a clue?” He raises an eyebrow at you and you nod. “I think it’s safe to say we won’t be winning any genius awards anytime soon.”

“We could win the biggest dumbasses award though.” He cracks a smile, pulling you close to him and resting his forehead against yours.

“No one could even compete.” You grin, kissing him. He immediately deepens the kiss, frantic and hungry still.

“Whoa, whoa, slow down, Beommie. We have all the time in the world.” You tease as if you weren’t just as needy, making him whine. “I can’t help it. You made me yearn for so long.”

“Yearn? Oh, that’s bad. I made you use the word yearn.”

He yanks your legs up, sending the rest of your body flying backwards and hitting the mattress, your loud giggles quickly covered by his mouth as he kisses you harshly, his teeth biting down on your lips in annoyance when you still don’t stop laughing.

“Stop it.” He whines in defeat as he pulls back, and you try to keep your giggles under control, his pout is entirely too devastating to look at.

"Are you gonna break up with her?" You ask and he doesn't hesitate to say, "Of course."

That makes you smile, happy with how easily he chose you, but then a thought pops into your mind and you frown. "You know, I hated her but I still feel kinda bad for fucking you behind her back." You really do. You've never condoned cheating, even if it was on someone as vile as Haeun.

"Oh you mean the same way she fucked the whole football team?" He counters and you gape at him, "God damn. Why did you even stay with her for that long?"

He shrugs. "Needed a distraction. And to not come across as a loser in front of you. I mean you were with Yeonjun. I couldn't just be alone."

"Oh, honey…" You coo, but anything you planned to say is suddenly forgotten as you feel his cock pressing against your entrance.

"Beommie!" You squeak. “What are you doing?”

"You thought we were done? You spread your legs for my bandmate. I'm gonna have to look at him every day knowing he had you first. I gotta make sure you and everyone else knows who exactly you belong to."

It may not be the most healthy coping mechanism, but you’ll let him have it for now. You’re sure you wouldn't be very happy if you were in his position either. Besides, getting to fuck Beomgyu isn’t exactly what you would consider a punishment.

_________

A/N: Click here for the Yeonjun ending on Patreon.

Also for my patreons, you could suggest a scene from gyu's pov and I'll choose one. There will also most likely be some drabbles about oc and gyu's life after the ending (mostly smut featuring our favorite desperate boy lol) and some will be released on tumblr and others will be exclusive to patreon.

Patreons may also suggest a continuation of a previous fic/drabble. I will do my best to release at least something monthly on there.

Taglist: @blxxsss@sanasour@tinkw1nks@lol6sposts@zuzuhasablog@beomsl@seolis-world@stantxtorurmissingout@wonwooz1@yaorzu-blog@allylikesdabee@rkivezzs@malieno@leviathanlee26@yomomas-stuff@kurisaiyunobara@girlwholovekpop@zuzuhasablog@viaaasdiary@ho3forkpop@skzvcr@th3-3d3n-g4rd3n @izzyexe @boomfrogg @kpop-cakepops-recs @chronicallygyu @girlwholovekpop

#txt smut #dom!reader #sub!idol #tomorrow x together smut

786 notes · View notes

wynnyfryd · 11 months

Text

Trailer park Steve AU part 14

part 1 | part 13 | ao3

fuckin' finally some FLUFF

Dinner is awkward.

It’s awkward, Steve thinks as he spears a Brussels sprout with more force than strictly necessary, because Dustin promised that it was just going to be the three of them tonight, and now he’s sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with his leather-clad metalhead neighbor.

It went like this: Steve showed up at the Henderson’s front door with a pie plate and a two-liter of Grapico under his arm, looking like a dork on picture day in his best jeans and a nice polo with his hair actually combed for once, and he lifted his hand to knock only to be greeted by Eddie throwing the door open and hollering, “Be right back, Henderson! Gotta grab— oh, shit.”

And then, more eloquently, “Uh…”

Uh. Like Steve was the one unexpectedly crashing the party.

Steve stabs another sprout.

They’ve been bumbling through stilted small talk about work and school and weekend plans for what feels like a painfully long time, and Eddie has his elbows on the table — didn’t even bother to take his jacket off because he was apparently raised in a barn — and it’s basically dinner with Barb’s parents all over again.

This is finger-lickin’ good.

God. Get him out of here.

“Okay,” Dustin cuts through the stalled-out silence in the room. He jabs an accusatory fork into the air, pointing between the two of them and narrowing his eyes. “You two are being weird.”

Eddie startles dumbly, and Steve just says, “Hmm?”

“You.” He aims the fork at Steve. “Are being.” It moves to Eddie; back to Steve. “Weird. What’s going on? I thought you two were getting along now.”

Steve dabs his mouth with his napkin. Wow. Okay. So they’re doing this now.

Eddie either doesn’t get the memo or just decides to rip it up, because instead of being honest he throws on a theatrical smile and flings an arm around Steve’s shoulders, proclaiming, “Of course we are! C’monnn. Me and this guy?” He reaches up to give Steve a gentle noogie. Steve wonders if you can get a more lenient sentence if the guy you murdered really, really deserved it. “Thick as thieves.”

Claudia smiles fondly.

Dustin’s not buying it. “You’re so full of shit, you know that?”

“Dusty!” Claudia gasps. She gives him a stern look as she tops off her wine glass, then leans over to do the same for Steve and Eddie’s glasses, too. “Stevie, honey, don’t listen to him,” she soothes. “I think it’s sweet. It’s good to see you with some boyfriends your own age.”

Dustin chokes at her word choice, and Steve blushes to his ears.

Eddie’s arm tightens around his shoulders. “Yeah, Stevie,” he smirks, leaning in a little closer. “We’re great boyfriends, aren’t we?”

“Oh, yeah,” Dustin joins in, “best boyfriends I’ve ever seen.”

Surely murder’s just murder, right? Like, from a sentencing perspective? Does it matter how many people you off, or do you just get thirty-to-life regardless?

“Steve, tell mom more about your boyfriend.”

Steve chugs his glass of wine.

—

The conversation turns to less embarrassing topics after that, the words flowing more easily now that everyone’s warmed up with wine and making fun of Steve. Claudia asks what everyone’s doing for Halloween, and Dustin tells her that Eddie and Steve are taking the boys trick-or-treating in the neighborhood with the good candy bars (which was news to Steve, goddammit), and that leads to a discussion of costume plans.

Dustin and Mike are going as a pair again, Marty and Doc from Back to the Future. Lucas is doing his own thing, but he's "totally delusional if he thinks a costume is gonna win Max back." Steve doesn’t really have a costume this year, so he’ll probably just pull some sweats out of the closet, throw a whistle around his neck and go as a basketball coach, and Eddie, surprisingly, has the lowest effort costume of them all.

“Oh, I’m going as a vampire,” he says when Claudia asks. He reaches into his pocket, pulls out some cheap plastic teeth and pops them into his mouth. “Ta-daaa.”

Steve wrinkles his nose. “You just carry those around?”

“Isn’t it awesome?” Dustin asks.

“Not really, no. It’s not.”

“But S’theeeve,” Eddie lisps around the fangs. The wine’s made him weirder, playful and too-friendly and berry pink in the cheeks. He holds his sleeve in front of his face like a vampire hiding behind a cape and drawls, “I vant to s’thuck your bloood.”

Steve vants to jump out the window. “I’m gonna go serve the pie.”

—

part 15

tags below the cut, comment if you want me to tag you tomorrow 🩷

@acedorerryn @ahsokatanoss @annabanannabeth @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awolfstudio @bananahoneycomb @bronwenmarie @burymestanding @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @courtjestermunson @cr0w-culture @cuips-not-cute @dontwasteyourchances @eddie-munsons-missing-nipple @eriquin @estrellami-1 @evillittleguy @fandomfix8 @foolofentirelytoomanyfandoms @goodolefashionedloverboi @gregre369 @griefabyss69 @grtwdsmwhr @heartsong18 @hellion-child @hotluncheddie @jackiemonroe5512 @jaytriesstuff @littlebluejane @lololol-1234 @messrs-weasley @nburkhardt @noodle-shenaniganery @ppunkpuppyy @runninriot @sadcanadianwinter @silver-snaffles @singmeyoursimpsong @slowandsteddie @slutforcoffein @solalasoforth @steddieas-shegoes @stevesbipanic @steves-strapcollection @teatimeeverybody @thealwithnoname @thestarslittleking @thesuninyaface @trensu @violetsteve

#trailer park steve au #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #steddie fic #dustin henderson #claudia henderson #st fic #my writing #my fic

770 notes · View notes

dinogoofymutated · 3 months

Text

Nightcrawler/GN! reader - part 1 - part 2 - part 3 It's finally here!! I didn't finish it in one chapter like I wanted to but I'm just glad to have something finished lol. Please be cautious while reading however!! read the tws please!! Sorry if it seems a bit rushed. TWs: circus fire, depictions of violence, depictions of animal cruelty/animal death mentioned. Drugging/sedatives (poor kurt), panic, people are awful, I made stephan an asshole sorry if it's OOC. Margali Szardos the queen u are. Hurt/no comfort this chapter. next chapter will be fluffy and sweet I promise.

You never really got that reunion with Kurt that he had promised.

With each week that passed by, you saw him less and less. Each meeting was just simple greetings and pleasantries, and then apologies as he was ushered off by his brother, or the choreographer, or the ringleader himself. The distance you could handle. The lack of time together, you could handle. The one thing that really had you worried was that each time you saw Kurt, he had look more and more tired, worked to the bone, and drowsy. This continued, on and on, until eventually, you stopped seeing Kurt all altogether.

You asked about him frequently when you spoke with the animal trainers, only to be met with a shrug, or indifference, and an overall lack of concern. You had no time to speak with his mother or sister, only receiving some understanding looks that seemed just as worried and sad as you were. You only tried to speak with his brother once, and some sharp words and a cold shoulder later, you decided that would be the last time you would speak to him.

You were worried, and each week that passed you became more and more anxious. You snuck around the circus, tackling one area at a time, but no dice. Even his old living quarters hadn’t been touched in months- and that was the strangest part. You knew he was still at the circus. You heard him being announced to the crowd every night. So where was he? Why the scarcity? You had been so overcome with anxiety and worry that for the longest time, you had even stopped hearing the words of animals as you passed by- only hearing them when you focused. You knew they were speaking, you could still understand them- but every word seemed to escape your conscious. It was like you were in a constant crowd, having to focus on each an every word to truly understand them.

You’re leaving the stables late one night when a flap of wings and and the sudden perch of a bird on a nearby wheelbarrow startles you. It’s a crow. He cocks his head at you in a manner you can only describe as curious, and a bit amused. His beady eyes glint mischievously in the low light.

Hi. He says. You furrow your brows at him, confused as to why he would be here, talking to you like this. You’ve never met a crow that wasn’t out to receive something, despite how loyal the creatures can be once they attach themselves to someone.

You’re the one who listens, aren’t you? He asks, and you hesitate, looking around to make sure the area is clear of any stray staff before you respond.

“... Yes, I am.” You say quietly. He hops towards you, up the length of the wheelbarrow’s handles in an excited manner and perching at the very end, chest-level with you.

You’ve been looking for the blue one. I’ve seen you lingering. He says, and the words give your heart a bit of a jump-start.

“Do you know where he is?” You ask immediately, a little louder than you had meant to. The crow jumps a bit in surprise at your eagerness, before he relaxes with a sound that sounds much like a laugh you swear you had heard before.

Do I? Maybe I do. Maybe I don’t. The crow says, cocking his head at you again. What are you willing to give me in return? The nerve of this corvid! A spark of anger ignites within you, and you have to hold yourself back from wringing the poor thing's neck. You had never, ever met a crow that wasn’t out to get something, but this one in particular was more infuriating than any other crow you had ever met.

“Don’t play games with me, crow. This isn’t a playful matter!” You spit, venomous words causing the crow to cry out and flap his wings, jumping away from you.

Sheesh! Alright, alright. Can’t blame a bird for trying. He says, casually preening his chest feathers in a way that feels entirely to sarcastic. You’re lucky that he’s treated me well in the past. You begin to ask what that was supposed to mean, but knowing Kurt, you wouldn't doubt that he was sneaking meals to other animals besides the horses. When the crow is finished preening, he ruffles his feathers and hops back down the wheelbarrow.

Follow me.

The crow leads you around the circus. Through dark walkways and creepy storage carts, and you begin to wonder more and more where on earth he was taking you- desperate for any clue about Kurt but still distrustful of the creature ahead of you. Eventually, he leads you to the cages where the exotic animals were kept when not in practice or performing. You take extra care to be as silent as a mouse as you walk through the rows and rows of cages each animal is kept in. You’re confused as to why the crow would take you here of all places, but if there was any hope in finding Kurt….

The crow lands on top of a cage up ahead, and you recognize that it seems to be a fairly new one- cool steel and iron bars unpainted compared to the rest of them- which were colored brightly in a way you can only assume was to make it seem like they were much kinder and better suited to the animals that they contained- happy colors equal happy creatures, right? Wrong. You can see a shivering lump in the cage, but it’s so dark out that you can’t seem to figure out just what it was. The poor thing hardly had a blanket or a cushion to keep it warm, and as you get closer, you spot dark skin, a devilish tail, and eventually, you see pointed ears too.

Oh god.

The creature before you wasn’t an it, it was a him. Your him.

“Kurt?” His head lifts only slightly, loling to the side, and you know something is very, very wrong. You’re panicked as you frantically search your pockets for the cage’s skeleton key, the one the trainers had given to you, and your hands are shaking when you open the lock. The lock. They locked him in there. When you’re inside, you fall to your knees, holding Kurt’s face in your hands. His eyes are slowly blinking open like the action is taking all of his effort. He groans in a drowsy discomfort.

“What have they done? What’s happened to you?” You ask, hands shaking as you brush the hair out of his face. This time, when his eyes blink open, they look at you- although a bit hazy and unfocused.

“You… came to see me…” He says, face slowly morphing into a smile as he leans into your touch. It breaks your heart. Absolutely shatters it. Dear god- What had they done to him for him to be so- so-

“Kurt, I need you to focus, please.” You say, your voice breaking as you begin to tear up. Kurt doesn’t respond, leaning further into you to where his head is basically in your lap. Your hands have been running through his hair in a way you can't even call soothing, a nervous tick beginning to form as your mind races. You’re nearly hyperventilating now as you call his name, trying to get him to wake up- to look at you.

They’ve been sedating him.

The sound of the low rumble nearly startles you. You look up with blurry eyes, and in the cage across from Kurt is Nyla, the circus’ trained tiger, stretched out and resting her head on her crossed front paws. Her eyes glint in the low light, reflecting back at you. You don’t even know what to say.

They do it with almost all of us. Nyla continues, a somber tone in her voice.

“All of who, Nyla?” You ask once you’ve finally found your words, Kurt drowsily begins to mumble nonsense in your lap. Nyla raises her head a little.

The attractions. The non-human ones. She says- and suddenly, you feel like the situation has become so much worse. Oh god, you were sure you were about to be sick. Your stomach twists in knots at the thought, horrified and disbelieving.

“They- they can’t possibly have. They raised him here- they know him. Why would they do that?” You whisper. It doesn’t make sense to you. This was his family. The only family he had ever known- and his strangeness in all its glory had never been a problem before. Why now? Why now would they treat him as an animal? As something to be feared instead of the son, nephew, brother that they had raised? Why?!

Same reason they do it to the rest of us. Nyla replies, resting her head again. For control.

You swear that those simple words had plunged your world into silence.

You look frantically back and forth between Kurt and Nyla, shaky hands still touching Kurt’s face as he sighs and leans into you, a bit of discomfort beginning to shine through, what you can only assume was the side-effects of tranquilizer. You had seen them use the stuff on particularly rowdy and upset animals, you knew how awful it could make them feel. You are trying so very hard not to cry, but you are slowly loosing the battle. You know you need to do something, anything at all, but you can’t seem to pull your thoughts together, not before-

They’re coming back, They’re coming back! The crow caws loudly, grabbing your attention. You know you need to go, but you can’t leave him here. Not like this. You can’t. He shouldn’t be here. He’s human. He’s not an animal. He may look different- be a mutant like yourself, but you know he’s still human. Of course, he is. He’s your Kurt, and he’s hurting, and you can’t leave him here. You just can’t.

Listen to the crow. Nothing good will come from them finding you here. Nyla says, and when you look at her this time, you are crying. Nothing good was given to his sister when she did the same. The tears sting your eyes and burn your cheeks, and you don’t want to go. You don’t want to leave him, but if you get caught, there would be one less person to help him escape. You know you can’t take that risk. Animals begin to stir as footsteps approach around the corner, and the crow anxiously hops back and forth on the top of Kurt’s cage, once again reminding you that you need to leave now. You look back at Kurt, holding his face tightly now as his half-lidded eyes slowly blink open and closed.

“I’m coming back for you, Okay? I promise.” You tell him, tears falling from your face and onto his cheeks. He’s once again looking at you, but he seems hazed still, loopy and delirious.

“Du bist wunderschön… an angel… of my very own.” Kurt mumbles, but you don’t have another moment to spare. You press a kiss to his forehead, gently laying his head back down as you quickly leave the cage and lock it behind you, no matter how painful it is. You can’t help but continue to look back at his cage as you leave, the image cementing in your mind as you run from that place, the crow following close behind you.

You had to do something, you were sure of it, but you knew it had to be soon. A pit had settled in your stomach again, and you knew that something very bad was going to happen.

You would be right.

The next time you saw the colorful tents of the circus, it would be in flames.

You were frantic, having arrived that night with a plan to help Kurt escape, only to come face to face with your worst nightmare. Performers and staff were gathered a safe distance away, many holding you back as you tried to run into the flames, desperate and heartbroken over your friend. Your friends. The calls and cries and roars and whinnies of pain were more than you could bear. They were in pain. They were dying. After all the pain and suffering they had gone through in their life, they were dying.

The nails of the hands holding you back leave scratches when you rip yourself from her grasp- the grasp of Kurt’s mother, Margali. She calls for you as you run into the flames, but you cannot hear her. You’re closest to the stables, and you fling open the door, pushing and shoving with all your might. The cries of terror ring in your ears as you open each stall one by one, urging each and every horse, pony, and zebra to run as fast and as hard as they can. Bubbles is the last to go before the building crumbles, and then you’re running to the cages, praying, praying that the fire has not spread there yet.

It had.

You tried to open them, you really did, but it was too hot. The metal was burning your hands, the smoke filling your lungs. You can't see through the smoke as you try to find Kurt’s cage. You’re struggling, unable to see, the fire becoming too close and singeing your hair. A pair of hands grab you by the arms, and tugs you to a stop.

It’s Stephan. He looks concerned and enraged. He’s saying something, but you can't hear him over the sounds of the animals and the crackle of the flames. The tents that were close by begin to crumble, and you look on in horror. He grabs you again and tugs you along with him as he runs. You cough and stumble and cry, and when he finally leads you out of the flames, he turns around to scold you.

“What are you doing?! Are you crazy?!” He says, chest heaving. You’re coughing and struggling to breathe, falling to your knees as you sob.

“I- I was…” You struggle to cough out.

“What?! What was so important you had to run into those flames like an idiot?! The lives of any stupid animal aren’t worth losing your own!” He shouts, and you can’t find your anger through your absolute despair.

“...Kurt.” You finally cough out. “I was trying to find Kurt. I need to- he could be-” You can't finish your sentence before you have another coughing fit, placing your arms on the ground to steady you as you try to recover. You’re jerked forward in an instant, Stephan having fallen to his knees and yanking you off-balance by violently tugging you by the arms. You’re almost… Afraid of him, all in your face like this. He’d never been a calm man, but this rage was…

“Kurt?! KURT?! That bastard mutant set the damn fire! It’s his fault! Let him die in it!” You’re terrified as he screams in your face, trying to struggle out of his bruising grip. No- no that’s not right. That can’t be. He’s a liar! He’s always been jealous of Kurt, He’s lying again.

Leave them be, Douchebag! The caw comes from your left as the Crow from before swoops in on him, dive-bombing his head and eyes. Stephan screams in anger and frustration as he violently pushes you away, swatting at the corvid as he attacks him. You watch as one swat connects, sending the Crow flying into the dirt. You call out for it, scrambling by the crow's side as you glare at Stephan, who begins to approach with a deadly look on his face. Every primal instinct you have is screaming at you. This is face of a killer. He’s going to kill the crow- hell, if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was going to kill you, too.

“Stephan!” He stops in his tracks at the sound of his name, and you’re gathering the crow into your arms as Margali Szardos steps into view. Stephan huffs as he walks to his mother’s side, sending you and the crow one last glance. They begin to fight in hushed voices, leaving you an onlooker in something that seems over your head.

Kurt escaped. The crow says from your lap. You look down at him in surprise, holding him gently as he makes small sounds of pain, injured from the hard hit. He’s okay. He didn’t set the fire. Not on purpose. My Mistress made sure he was okay.

“Mistress…?” You mumble, watching as the crow cocks his head in the direction of the fighting family, and when your eyes fall upon Margali, It all begins to click.

“Where is he?” You ask, heart thudding in your chest.

I don’t know. He says. He disappeared in a puff of smoke. I couldn’t find him.

The words have you distraught again. You have to find him. You promised you would be back for him, and you weren’t. You were too late- now many of your friends were dead, and all you could think about was finding the one person you needed to know was still alive and okay.

We will find him. The murmurs stop, and when you look up, Stephan is trudging away. Margali watches him leave, elegant as ever with a somber look in her eye, and turns to look at you, hunched over in the dirt, shattered and stained by soot and smoke, her closest confidant safe in your lap. She knows that you will look for him. She asked if I would help you- and I will.

Margali turns away from the two of you, disappearing into the woods behind her son.

You had to find Kurt.

#x men #x men 97 #x men comics #x men headcannons #x men 97 x reader #kurt wagner #nightcrawler #nightcrawler xmen #nightcrawler x men #xmen nightcrawler #x men nightcrawler #kurt wagner fanfic #kurt wagner x reader #nightcrawler x reader #marvel #marvel x men #marvel reader insert #marvel x reader

285 notes · View notes

lulublack90 · 5 months

Text

Prompt 11 - Fake Date

@wolfstarmicrofic May 11, word count 875

“Eugh, my mum keeps asking who I’m bringing to my cousin's wedding!” Remus groaned as he checked the new message on his phone. “She’s getting worse. Ever since Oscar and I broke up it’s all she cares about.” He shook his head and put on a high-pitched voice, imitating Hope. “Reemuss,” He elongated his name like Hope did with her lilting accent. “Remus, why don’t you have a nice boy to bring to Gwen’s wedding? You should go find yourself someone, Remus.” He grimaced. “Like it’s so easy. She met dad in the middle of a forest when that guy jumped out of the trees at her and dad came to her rescue. Knowing my luck, the would be murderer would fall for me.” He leaned his head back and cursed the heavens.

Sirius had sat there patiently listening to Remus grouse. He snatched Remus’s phone from his lap and typed a quick message to Hope.

“There,” He said. “Now you have a date.” He grinned mischievously. Remus paled.

“What did you do?” He picked up his phone and gasped. “Sirius! What the actual?!” His phone pinged as Hope started gushing about how happy she was and how much she’d always loved Sirius. He had to put his phone on silent to shut it up. Sirius had messaged Hope telling her that he was bringing Sirius as his date. Sirius who he’d had a crush on for years and told his mother every little thing about it. Oh gods, this was going to be a disaster.

“It’ll be fine, Remus. I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend for the day, and then we’ll mysteriously break up, none of them will be the wiser, and it'll make your mum happy.” Remus groaned into his hands.

They travelled to Wales the day before the wedding and stayed at Remus’s parents house. Lyall greeted them at the door but then disappeared into his study. He was happy in there and Remus was happy he was in there, to be honest. They’d never quite seemed to quite understand each other and this way was easier, much to Hope’s annoyance.

Hope, on the other hand, wrapped them both in her arms and cooed over Sirius.

“I knew you’d end up together. You’re perfect for each other.” Sirius lapped it up. The only problem they had was Hope put them in Remus’s old bedroom. They hadn’t thought of that when they’d agreed to stay there. There wasn’t even another spare room.

“It’ll be fun,” Sirius beamed. “Like being back at school.”

“We never shared a bed. That was you and James,” Remus reminded him.

“Well, better late than never then, I guess,” Sirius responded. So that was how Remus found himself in bed with Sirius.

Thankfully, morning came quickly and then it was time for the wedding.

Everybody made a fuss about Sirius.

“He’s so handsome Remus,” His grandmother had declared when he’d introduced him. “You ought to put a ring on his finger, so he doesn’t get away,” She’d said loudly. Remus went beet red.

“Nain, you can’t just yell that out!” He hushed her.

“And why not? I want to see some great grand kids before I pop my clogs, and you aren’t getting any younger,”

“Oh my god,” He didn’t know how to handle her apart from with a gin and tonic and the bar wasn’t open yet.

“Don’t you worry, Mrs Howell, I’ll make an honest man out of him.” Sirius said, linking her arm with his and leading her away to her table. He turned and winked at Remus. Remus wished he could turn invisible.

By the end of the wedding, Sirius had won over all of Remus’s family and all of the grooms. In fact, more people knew who Sirius was at the wedding than knew who Remus was.

Remus was glad when they were on their way back to his parents house. It had been a long day. “So,” Sirius asked him. “When are you going to pop the question? Your Nain’s promised me her engagement ring.” He grinned, fighting back a laugh at Remus.

“Oh, haha, Sirius,” Remus rolled his eyes and said no more about the subject.

That night, much to Remus’s surprise, Sirius snuggled under his arm and rested his head on Remus’s chest.

“I had fun today.” Sirius told him with a sleepy voice. “Your family is really nice, and I might just steal your Nain. She was brilliant.” He turned his head to look at Remus. “Thank you for letting me come.” He said quietly.

“You invited yourself. I had nothing to do with it.” Remus huffed.

He closed his eyes hoping Sirius would take the hint. But instead, Sirius pushed up and kissed him. Remus’s eyes shot open, and he stared at Sirius.

“I was serious about that ring, Moony. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be there.” Remus didn’t know what to say, so he dragged Sirius’s face back to his and kissed him deeper than their first. He melted as Sirius kissed him back. “Took you long enough,” Sirius murmured against his lips. Remus had never been happier. He made a note to send a bottle of champagne to his cousin, because without her this might never have happened.

191 notes · View notes

bruciemilf · 6 months

Note

Now I’m thinking of Alpha Martha scooping in like “is anybody going to love and cherish that omega” and not waiting for an answer. She uses every Wayne gala to flaunt her Omega and later, pup in Carmine’s face. The only reason she hasn’t killed him yet is that seeing his rage and sad plans to get Thomas back is amusing and if it ever comes down to that Thomas deserves the honors.

Gosh, I’m starting to fall in love with that concept. Just imagine stern browed, lethally beautiful Captain Martha Kane, infamously known for her service in the military.

She reeks of bloodied snow, and sweet pomegranate with a note of petrichor. Of gunpowder, grainy and dark and rich, and of something so alluringly nameless Thomas can’t shake off.

The rumors about her hawk like gaze aren’t just rainwater.

Her look is made of storms and winter and Thomas shivers when he sees her for the first time, walking aimlessly around Gotham’s museum. His mother’s museum.

Carmine’s now, legally.

She stops just besides him, — she’s tiny, for an alpha, and he’s big for an omega, and for a moment, Thomas feels vindicated. So they had anomalies, too. Good. They earned it.

“Beautiful.”

She’s referring to the exhibit they’re admiring together. She has to be. Thomas stays quiet.

“What’s your opinion about it? I’ve visited her hundreds of times and I just can’t understand it. Not correctly, I think.”

He scoffs, but otherwise, the silence continues to expand.

Of course no Alpha understands The Good Omega.

Right above them, exposed almost proudly, imprisoned behind a thin layer of glass with rose gold framing, with delicate ivory marbled in, The Good Omega displays an omega women kneeling by her alpha.

It’s not intricate, or complex in composition. It translates well, and it’s just detailed enough.

Her mouth is sewn shut.

It’s a blood painting.

“She used to be an artist, I believe, “ Martha continues, with just the barest twitch of discomfort in her face, but she doesn’t allow her attention to shift. “I thought maybe you’d have a better perspective about it.”

“I’m not allowed to speak to you. As you well know.”

She pauses for a bit. “I apologize. You have no collar on. Your alpha didn’t pick one yet?”

He hums. “He can collar me when I’m in the ground.”

Oddly enough, that answer satisfies her. Pomegranate blossoms on his tongue.

“It’s freedom,” he continues, not really caring about customs. He already defies them daily. “It means freedom.”

Martha listens, but she huffs, half confused, half incredulous. “That doesn’t look like freedom to me. “

“That’s because you’re used to it,” He grits, turning his own gaze on her. He’s been told he smells horrible when he’s angry. He hopes this tiny, beautiful alpha chokes on it.

“Suffering is the only freedom omegas have. It forces you to look, to awknolege. There’s no exits The freedom of existing, that’s all we got.” He scoffs, not even noticing she’s clingy to every little sound.

“ Enjoy it while you can. Its going in the junkyard next week.”

“The junkyard?” She echoes, almost offended by the idea, but the casual insult. “Who’d throw away something like this, omega? It’s too valuable. “

Omega.

Thomas wants to purr and he rages, almost.

His smile is nasty, and full of teeth, and he’s grown to love how alphas cringe at the sight of it. Not this one, thought. This little beast stares at it like it’s living art.

“The same people you fight for. Thank you for your service, alpha.”

Thomas turns, not bothering to bow, excuse himself, or make a respectful exit. One good thing about being a rich omega is that he follows no rules his alpha doesn’t specify.

Nowhere did Carmine say he wasn’t allowed to ditch gorgeous alphas.

—

“You’re back rather early, Madame,” Alfred greets her with a kiss on one of her brow, soft as anything, his like tea, blueberry and dark chocolate scent hugging her deeply.

He takes a whiff of her, frowns, both in intrigue and concern. “…Why do you smell like unhappy omega?”

“Alfred,” She says, “I want to retire. Would you be a darling and contact my lawyer?”

“Oh, thank heavens. Anything else?”

Martha’s gaze bleeds blue, her thighs buzzing with the sneer of Thomas’ anger still, “Can you ask him if I can legally kidnap a taken omega?”

#IDK HOW THIS TURNED INTO A FULL FICLET BUT ENJOY ^^^^#dc comics #writing #pennywaynes #thomas wayne #martha wayne #alfred pennyworth #a/b/o dynamics #batman #dc #my writing #text #text post #gilded sparrows au

364 notes · View notes

meeks-just-wants-to-scroll · 7 months

Text

Kieran Duffy Mini Analysis

Since I struggle to imagine how Kieran’s facial and body expressions are portrayed, I compiled some notes on clips and dialogue. Uploading for other Kieran fans to enjoy.

To the point: Kieran is not a stammering short coward. He is a plucky man who can stand his ground and leans into his whiny feebleness when his life depends on it. He’s funny and has more guts socially than much of the VDL gang!

I’m chapter 1, we get introduced to him with cowering after being slapped by Colm and fleeing rather than fight. Kieran isn’t a coward, more like a guy who squirms, lies, and pleads if his life depends on it. I suggest you read this post for more info on how Kieran’s apparent feebleness is an exaggeration he puts on to survive in a cut throat gang. After given time to wallow in the stables in Colter, Kieran starts putting up a fight and threatens the VDL gang with the O’Driscolls coming for them for taking him hostage. He fights his restraints and holds angry eye contact with his captors, only breaking breaking when the conversation ends and he falls over again. From what I can tell, Kieran always has a grumpy face whenever interacted with. He boldly says he’d rather die to Arthur’s face!

It’s in chapter 2 where his fight becomes more desperate from the starvation and abuse. He by no means gives up, he keeps up blabbering that he “ain’t an O’Driscoll” even tho he ends up divulging information and seems to know a suspicious lot about Colm and the O’Driscolls.

Mid chapter 2 and onwards, he mellows out into a guy who tries to be as nice and as unobtrusive as possible. He still keeps eye contact when speaking and even puts assertiveness behind some of his words. He has the guts to say to people’s face to leave him alone and stop fucking with him. He also doesn’t shy from grumbling and making “oh come on!🙄” gestures when verbally harassed by the gang. He visibly gets frustrated when called an O’Driscoll but he usually has to calm himself down till he can respond dejectedly rather than actually angrily. He did get upset with Sean and stand in front of him with no cowering to stand his ground when called an O’Driscoll (until he got headbutted).

He thanks people and sounds amused and surprisingly relaxed for his situation. (Idk how to explain it but) he has a smile in his tone of voice in some dialogue. Sometimes greets Arthur in a chipper way. Sweet! Even has the emotional vulnerability to apologize to Abigail about Jack going missing. Kieran asserts his value to the club by taking pride in his horse knowledge and fishing skill. He sternly Arthur he’ll “teach him something” when it comes to fishing. See, useful!

He is still easily threatened by the gang if they get up in his face or yell. He leans away, goes silent, slowly pulls his hands closer to his chest, and goes still when intimidated. It takes a few seconds before he relaxes afterwards. This is what I consider the extent of his cowardly behavior. He just shuts up and backs off. He only ups his pleading and squirming when his life actively depends on it.

Headcanon territory: after listening to ~7 minutes of cut Kieran fighting audio, I can definitely say that this man has some lungs on him! The rasp to his voice makes me think he’s worked his voice hoarse (haha, horse pun) enough times to leave permanent damage/evidence in his voice. I think he damaged his voice while with the O’Driscolls. When he’d be on a job, he’d rely on shouting threats and malicious taunting to intimidate the enemy since his looks aren’t that scary. Plus, if he was amongst a group of O’Driscoll during a gunfight, no one would get a good look at him as he dips out of cover to shoot, they’d just hear his raspy shouting about “cutting all their damn throats” and “this ain’t gonna end pretty, boys” (this one is my favorite because if you listen to the line, you can REALLY hear the rasp in the “boys”).

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say (whether he admits it or not) Kieran does enjoy gunfights. Kieran by no means asked to join a life of crime and I am sure he did NOT want to kill anyone at the start, but over time shit corrupts and feeling the power of firing and seeing his enemies drop gave Duffy a semblance of control back to his life. In a gunfight, no colleagues pay attention to him and he can simply enjoy his brief power trip.

A more wholesome HC: much of the cut Kieran audio has him talking or greeting the other gang members with friendliness. He’s comfortable enough to tease or criticize the VDL gang. I imagine these lines would’ve been for a version where he gets to stick with the gang long enough for him to be trusted and for him to relax into his natural personality! Kieran still has his mumbly quiet moments (usually when exhausted) but he also sounds like he’s smiling more and even making jokes. Even makes harmless jabs at Arthur if he returns to camp bloodied or dirty. Has the courage to ask questions (I can’t find the exact line but I heard a couple where he was asking Arthur what he was doing in “his space” and if he needed to borrow “his things” so Kieran was either given or claimed ownership of stuff) and set boundaries (many cut quotes of Kieran asking others to buzz off or give him space because he wants to be alone). He’ll even express his anger if you push his buttons too much. After ramping down his nature to be this declawed version of himself, I imagine being no only bark but bring on the bite feels amazing.

Tldr: Kieran isn’t your baby girl. He is a kick ass ex-O’Driscoll who is a great asset to the VDL gang.

I also wanna mention that this post utterly changed how I thought of Kieran. I suggest giving it a read!

#meeks rambles #rdr text post #rdr2 spoilers #rdr #rdr2 community #rdr2 fandom #rdr2 #red dead redemption two #red dead redemption 2 #kieran duffy #character analysis #meek’s headcanons #edit: I added more of a dialogue analysis after reading on how Kieran is not as innocent as he seems

291 notes · View notes

gretavangroupie · 6 months

Text

The Ripe and The Ruin - (Chapter 2)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Reader, OC x Reader

Word Count: 15.7k

Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Smoking, Angst, Anxiety, Embarrassment, Lying, Sexual Themes, Kissing, Touching.

Find the Playlist Here: Apple Music | Spotify

A new series in collaboration with my talented co-writer @gretavanmoon.

"Like all good fruit, the balance of life is in the ripe and ruin."

JAKE POV

“Did you hear me, Jake?”

Your head snaps to the side, your mind refocusing on the conversation being had around you. Josh stares at you with a questioning look on his face, his arms crossed against his chest.

“What? Yeah,” you lie, “That sounds fine.”

“You’re not even listening to me. I asked if you knew what time the van was supposed to be here... What’s up with you? Where are you this morning?” he asks, his tone a little more defensive than usual.

“Huh?” Your eyes flick back to the elevator, your heart beating a little faster than usual as the caffeine starts to swirl around in your bloodstream. You know that any second Y/N is going to step off that elevator and join the rest of you in the lobby.

You can’t seem to shake the kiss from your mind, falling asleep last night playing it over and over in your head. The way her lips felt, soft and warm and so pink. You aren’t really sure why you decided to do it. You weren’t going to, but you’re glad you did. You’d thought of nothing else since, and after the little exchange you had after the fact, you were feeling something that you didn’t feel too often, if ever. Nervous.

You didn’t even know what you were going to say to her today. What do you say after something like that? Should you say anything at all? You know you pushed a professional boundary last night, on the very first night no less. She is your employee, and you are her boss and those two things typically don’t mix well. But you felt something, something you haven’t felt in a long time, and you are certain she must have felt it too.

You look back to Josh, suddenly realizing that if you’re feeling nervous, he’s going to pick up on it. You try to compose yourself, adjusting your jacket on your shoulders and your sunglasses on your nose before turning your full attention back to him.

“Sorry, just jet lag. I think it’s supposed to be here at 10:00,” you pause, glancing at your watch. “It’s 9:56 right now.”

“Since when do you wear a fuckin’ wrist watch? Are you eighty-five?” he quips, huffing a laugh.

You suck your teeth at him, raising a brow. “Since now, fuck you.”

He changes the subject, turning to Sam and Daniel just as the elevator chimes and the doors start to open. Your heart is beating erratically at this point, and you curse yourself for it. You should not be feeling like this. It was one kiss, Jake. It didn’t even mean anything. It was for show.

Right?

You swallow nervously, licking your lips as people start to step out of the elevator. You try to look like you’re engaged in the conversation happening in front of you, but you’re not. She won’t know that though. Your eyes are fixed on the elevator, waiting for your first glimpse of her this morning. She’s one of the very last to step out, her hair hanging in her face as she focuses on her phone. You hear Paul call her name, waving her over towards him and Wes with paperwork in hand.

She looks up just long enough to spot them, returning her gaze to her phone to finish up whatever it is she’s doing. She steps up to them, just out of your immediate sight, but you can still hear them talking as they greet her. Out of the corner of your eye you see Paul hand her the piece of paper he was waving, telling her that the venue has the official hospitality rider, but that the highlighted items needed to be picked up and brought to the venue by her. A chill runs up your spine. What did you request? Why can’t you remember what you asked for? Fuck.

She turns her head as Wes and Paul continue to talk. You can feel her eyes on you, burning into the side of your head as Josh drones on about German water quality. You want to look at her, in fact, you’re dying to see that same pink blush that colored her cheeks last night, but you don’t turn your head. You force yourself to pretend she isn’t even there. You stare off into the distance, letting your mind wander, the noise around you turning into a hum.

“Jake…” Josh shouts, snapping his fingers in front of your face, “Hello? Are you braindead suddenly?”

“Fuck, sorry. What…” you growl, refocusing again.

“Get with it man, I said the van is here. Let’s go,” he answers, nodding towards the door as he follows the rest of the crew outside.

You walk with your hands in your pockets, letting your thumb nail glide over each fingertip in an attempt to bring you back down to earth. You need to get your head right. Snap out of it. You fall to the back of the group, waiting for everyone to load into the two black vans, ready to take you to your venue for the evening. Before you could stop yourself you were looking over your shoulder for her, catching her eyes for the briefest moment before looking away. Fuck, she’s so pretty.

“You want the window?” Josh asks, elbowing your arm.

“Huh? Yeah that’s fine…” you answer blankly, your mind still flooded with the image of her. As you turn back to Josh you see his focus change, locking in on Y/N as she steps up to the two of you. The very last thing you expected.

“Hi, good morning, feeling any better?” she asks. You look to her, then to Josh, remembering he sent her out for medicine last night. You're completely frozen in place as the two of them speak, and you’re sure your face is showing exactly what you’re feeling. Panic.

Josh looks at you for a second, then back to Y/N, very obviously picking up on the nerves pulsing through you as he snickers. “Yes…I…am…Thank you again for doing that last night. I appreciate it.”

You can smell her perfume as it dances through the air, the same sweet floral smell from the plane yesterday. You can’t help but to turn your head and look at her, your eyes drifting to the column of her neck where you know the smell is even stronger. You imagine the way it would feel to kiss her there. The taste of her skin. The sounds she would make. The feeling of her rapid pulse beneath your lips…

Shit. No.

“No problem at all, Josh. Let me know if I can grab you anything else,” she smiles, “I’m off to the market!”

She looks at you for just a second waiting to see if you’re going to say anything, but you don’t, instead offering her a curt smile and nodding your head. Smooth. Really nice, Jake.

She walks away, heading towards the second van with Wes and the rest of management and you feel a wave of relief wash through. You had a little more time to get your head right before you talked to her. You let out a breath, your eyes flicking over to Josh who is looking at you with a knowing look on his face. You shake your head and walk away, ready to load into the van with your backpack slung over your shoulder. Your heart is beating fairly hard and you haven't even spoken to her. Why is she having this effect on you?

You settle on the bench seat, Josh and Ty sliding in next to you. You place your backpack between your legs and pull your phone from your coat pocket, pretending to busy yourself to avoid the conversation you already know is coming.

The app isn’t even open yet before Josh starts to speak, “Alright let’s hear it, Jake. ”

You know there’s no use in pretending to be busy, he won’t stop until you answer him. You lock your phone and slide it back into your pocket letting out an aggravated sigh.

“Hear what, Josh? Why do you already want to start this morning, huh? Can’t I have a moment of peace?”

“Oh please, I could feel your fucking heart pounding like it was in my own chest!” He tilts his head to the side in an attempt to force the truth out of you. He knows he's got you cornered and he wants you to admit it.

You tilt your head mimicking him, giving him a look he knows well. You nod your head, silently telling him that you’ll talk later. Now is not the time or place for any of it.

He stares at you blankly for a second, finally relenting as he turns back towards Ty. Safe for now. You needed to figure this out, quick.

You ride to the venue, listening to everyone’s conversations but offering very little to them. You scroll through your phone, trying your best to keep to yourself, but perking your head up as Josh grabs your attention.

“That reminds me, I talked to Paul. He said it’s going to take a week or so to get more security over here. Corri said she applied for the work visas this morning. Should have some guys over here in less than a week at the latest.”

“Good. Could’ve used someone last night,” you grumble, immediately regretting even letting the words slip from your mouth.

Josh’s head snaps over to you, a serious look in his eyes. “What do you mean? At the airport?”

You know you can’t lie. He will know immediately. “No, um– Just after we checked in. It’s nothing.”

“Last I talked to you, you were ordering room service and going to bed?” he asks, genuinely confused. Fuck, fuck, figure it out Jake.

“Yeah, I did, just— A little thing late last night. Everything ended up being fine. Isolated incident. We’ve got more security coming, it's all good,” you say, hoping he won’t press you on it any further, but as he looks at you with a threatening scowl you know you’ll be recounting every last detail before the day is through.

—

Show days always bring along chaotic mornings that slowly mold into semi-peaceful afternoons, filled with warming your fingers up and psyching your mind up to perform. The four of you always try to keep show days generally the same, with giving yourselves a little bit of downtime before you have to arrive back at the venue after sound check. Today though, the day of the very first show, has already made your head feel like it is going to spin right off your neck. You can feel Josh’s prying eyes watching your every move, waiting for the opportune moment to jump down your throat again.

“Gonna go grab something to drink from the green room, you guys want anything?” Sam asks you and Josh as you fumble around with the wireless mechanisms on your guitar.

“Nah, I’ll get something in a minute,” you reply, watching as he and Danny descend the stairs off the stage and disappear out of sight.

Of course, within seconds your twin is inches from your face, somehow making himself seem bigger than you. “Alright, you gonna tell me about this little incident last night? Or am I gonna have to force it out of you?” he presses, and you know damn well that if you don’t give him just the tiniest bit of explanation, he won’t let up. “Wouldn’t have happened to involve our new runner, would it?”

You sigh a heavy sigh, readjusting the blue-tinted glasses sitting on your nose. “Can you lay the fuck off for like two seconds? Jesus Christ…” you back away, anxiously rubbing your hand over your mouth as you try to think of what to even say.

“Don’t avoid the question, asshole. Tell me now. While everyone’s gone,” he goes on, closing in on you again.

You bite your cheeks in, still contemplating. You stay silent, instead strumming a single chord on your guitar in response to him. You hear it echo across the empty venue, smirking to yourself. Sounds perfect.

“Fuck you. Always doing that shit when you’re trying to avoid me. Drowning me out with your loud ass amps… alright. Fine,” Josh readjusts the hat on his head and stomps away across the stage. “If you won’t tell me, I’ll just go ask her.”

All the blood quickly drains from your body. “Okay, okay, fuck. Come here,” you hold your hand up and signal him back, because you know for a fact he actually would have gone and found her. You stretch the muscles in your neck, rolling your shoulder beneath your guitar strap.

“Y/N went out to a pub last night to get something to eat and have a drink, there was some creep there trying to take her home, wouldn’t let up. She didn’t tell Dean where she was going because it was so late, and she remembered I had… She had my number, so she asked me to come and walk her back to the hotel. That’s it.”

Josh eyes you with his lips pursed closed, trying to get a read if there was anything you were leaving out. He’s gonna know, of course he’s gonna know…

“...That’s it?”

“That’s it,” you concede. “It happened really fast and the place was just around the corner from the hotel. I made it there in like two minutes. Guy was being a complete asshole to her,” you shake your head in disgust at the memory.

Josh crosses his arms across his chest as he exhales, squinting his eyes. “Mmh, so you played hero, huh? I think there’s more to the story than your little rescue mission… but. So she just happened to have your phone number, and no one else’s? Like Paul’s perhaps?” You really need him to quit with the attitude.

“We sat together on the plane for like, a hundred hours, Josh. Yes. She has my phone number because we were talking about her job duties. She will get the rest of yours eventually, I’m sure. I was just first. Fuck…” you begin to wave him off as you start to feel overwhelmed with his twenty questions.

Luckily, Sam and Danny are coming back onto the stage now, the pounding of Danny’s repetitive kick drum drowning out the sound of Josh’s persistence.

Josh’s eyes are squinting at you again as he takes the microphone in his right hand, turning away from it just enough for you to hear him. “I’ll get to the bottom of this. As a wise man once said, it’s very interesting…”

—

HER POV

Your legs carry you quickly through the winding halls to the green room. You can barely see over the brown paper bags in your hands, loaded full to the top with the items on your list this morning. It was a little more difficult of a task than you anticipated, but the translator app on your phone proved to be your best friend. You knew you had to be quick and you did your best, hoping that the items you found would suffice.

You push the door open with your foot, looking for the empty table where the items needed to be set up. You saw a few things that the venue provided sitting on a mostly empty wooden table, and knew that’s where you needed to set up. You plop the heavy paper bags down, smiling as you notice a few drinks have already been scavenged.

You begin pulling things from the bags, setting up the fruit and vegetable trays, and starting to place a variety of drinks into an ice bucket. You pull the paper list from your back pocket, making sure you have everything out for each guy and that you didn’t miss anything in your hurried state. As you make your way down the list you hear the door swing open and a rumble of voices enter the room.

You turn to find Josh stepping into the room with Jake flanking him as they talk. Your breath instantly catches in your chest as you make eye contact with Jake through his tinted sunglasses. His hair is a little more wavy today, curling up at the ends and resting just below his shoulders. It looks soft and you know it probably smells good as it flies through the air as he walks. His black button up is hanging loosely on his body, a sliver of his chest visible, but you tear your eyes away from him and turn back to your task. You’re at work.

“There she is! How’s it going, Y/N? Things goin’ your way this morning?” Josh asks, walking over towards you with a smile.

It strikes you as strange, his over friendly greeting, especially when you’d talked more to Jake than to him and Jake hadn’t even said hello to you today. You shake off the feeling and return the sentiment, turning to face the both of them.

“Hi guys! Everything is good I think! Just getting all of this set up for you, sorry it took me so long. I was struggling with the German labels,” you smile, letting your eyes flick over to Jake. He’s standing quietly behind Josh, not saying much but listening intently, eyes locked in on you.

“Oh, no you’re fine, no rush at all. We’ve got hours until we go on,” he pauses, turning to Jake then back to you. “I heard about the little incident at the bar last night. Glad everything turned out okay for you, but just wanted you to know we’ve got some more security coming this week. Should have someone that can head out with you from now on,” Josh finishes, nodding his head. His phone starts to ring before you can respond and he quickly pulls it from his pocket, glancing down at the screen with a sly smile.

“Ahh, it’s Ty, I gotta take this. I’ll be back. Thanks for this, Y/N. Looks great!” he says, swiping a water bottle from the table and making his way out of the room as he answers the call.

You realize quickly that Jake did not follow him and is standing with his hands in his pockets eyeing the table behind you. Your mouth feels dry, any words you thought you would say suddenly stuck in your throat. You turn around and busy your hands trying to think of anything you can say that won’t sound stupid.

Your heart is pounding rapidly as you feel him moving towards you, taking the place next to you as he taps his fingers across the wooden table. He doesn’t say anything, but you can tell he is struggling in the same way you are. The tension between you is almost tangible.

You reach into the paper bag, pulling the box of beers from the bottom and setting them on the table. You knew this had to be his request, the rider stating that a case of local craft beer was required.

You push the box in front of him, looking at him as it slides across the table. “This was what was recommended for local beer. Was the best I could find, I didn’t know if you liked light beer or dark beer, so I guessed. The cashier couldn’t have been a day over nineteen, so I didn’t exactly trust his opinion, but–”

You watch his face shift into a smile, a dimple popping out on his cheek as he nods through a laugh, “This looks great, really.”

“Again, I couldn’t read anything in German, and the translator was really no help on this one,” you smile, feeling the tension between you starting to melt away.

He opens the box, pulling out the amber colored bottle and bringing it close to his face. He looks at it for a few seconds, attempting to read the label himself before finally shrugging his shoulders. “No clue what that says, but looks perfect. Thank you, Y/N.”

You feel yourself blushing at the sound of your name leaving his lips, and you hope he can’t see the heat spreading across your cheeks. He picks up the bottle and places the lid on the edge of the table, hitting it with his fist with just enough pressure to pop off the lid. It skitters across the table as he brings the bottle to his lips, taking a long pull of what you now see is a light beer.

“S’perfect,” he says, swallowing it down.. “You uh, you wanna try it?”

You feel a flash of panic wash over you. You can’t, right?

“I don’t think I can? Right? I’m at work. And I have like a thousand things to do,” you stammer, dying to say yes.

“S’just me, I won’t tell if you don’t,” he offers, peering at you above the frames of his sunglasses. You can see his brown eyes staring into yours, and you feel your insides melting into putty. You know you need to change the subject, and quick.

You quickly decide to decline the beer, knowing that you need every single ounce of clearheadedness for the evening you are about to endure. “Are you guys done already? That seemed… quick,” you pose, trying to turn your attention back to your duties to fill the awkward silence.

“Uh no, not quite, they’re just working with Josh right now,” he answers, stuffing his free hand in his pocket and taking another swig of his beer.

“Ah,” you reply, slotting a strand of hair behind your ear as the awkwardness continues to grow. You know he’s just being nice, but you wished to god he would just go somewhere else to save you both the anxiety of acknowledging the elephant in the room. Alright. Get it together, Y/N. You’re both adults, just speak your piece and get it over with. You take a quick breath, preparing yourself. “So, what version of the story did Josh get?”

Jake nearly spits out his beer as your words hit him. “What? What story?” he asks, wiping the dribble of beer off his chin.

“I know you told him about last night, he’s being so overly nice to me it almost seems fake. He’s buttering me up, isn’t he?” you say, a bit of bite in your tone. Truly, you wonder exactly what Jake told him, and if it was the same story you remember.

Jake sucks his teeth as he looks away from you. “A very condensed one. Don’t worry.” His words are blunt and pointed.

“Okay… so he doesn’t know about… ya know…” you dance around the word, you don’t even dare even say it.

“No,” he cuts you off. “No. I didn’t go into that much detail. It… it didn’t even matter anyway, right?”

…It didn’t matter?

It didn’t matter. Oh.

“Right. No. Didn’t matter at all,” you agree, feeling the knife turning in your chest. “We had to do what we had to do to get out of there.”

“Yeah, was nothing.”

Nothing?

It’s quiet and awkward again as you try to brush off your feelings, suppressing the memory of the feeling of his lips on yours, his hands on your waist, his body pressing up against yours…

You’ve kissed a lot of people in your life, and you’re mature enough to know the difference between when someone wants to kiss you, and when someone just…is kissing you. And though you hate to admit it to yourself, Jake wanted to kiss you. There was no doubt about it. Chemistry is tangible. And the tension that formed between you last night during those few short seconds was nothing short of it. Pure chemistry. Ease. Like it was natural. And you weren’t too dumb to realize it.

But… apparently he was.

Suddenly you hear the sound of the bass strumming out into the air, signaling that it was time to get things going again.

“Right. But uh, sounds like I gotta um, get back out there. So… thanks for um, thanks for the beers,” Jake backpedals and turns away toward the door as you return to your duties, busying your mind and hands again. Fuck, that couldn’t have gone any worse.

You watch as he slams his body into the metal exit door, but stopping short when it doesn’t budge. He pushes on it again, but it stands firm. You watch him struggle for just a few seconds before you decide to help him out.

“Pull, Jake,” you say, stifling a laugh.

He yanks on the handle, the door flying open before him. “Oh, yeah. Got it.”

You can see the pink rise to his cheeks as he makes his quick exit, and the laugh you were stifling finally busts through. You’d managed to get Jake Kiszka flustered.

The sounds of the whole band echo down the hall, and you know you have a few free minutes to yourself, without the risk of one of them barging in again. Your mind drifts into autopilot as you finish setting up, replaying the last few minutes over and over in your head.

1. Josh knows. Well, Josh knows something.

2. The kiss… apparently it didn’t mean anything to Jake. Just a careless action to get the weird man off your back. Of course it didn’t mean anything to him. He’s a famous rock star, he probably kisses girls all the time… right? And makes playlists for them. And adds his favorite songs to them just so they can listen along. And tells them that he fully intends to kiss them again. Right?

3. He was flustered leaving through that door just now. He fumbled. He blushed. People that don’t care don’t blush. That’s just basic science.

Everything is overwhelming your thoughts; you need assistance, and you need it now. You take one last look at the table in front of you, deciding that it is to your liking before dashing out the door to the back exit. You pull your phone from your pocket and bring up Ruth’s contact, hearing it ring out just a couple of times before her voice is yelling your name on the other end.

“Shit, about time! I’ve been fucking dying over here!” she shouts into your ear, her voice full of excitement and rush. “I’ve been scrolling their instagrams and TikToks and shit all. Fucking. Day, Y/N. When were you gonna tell me they’re all hot as fuck, huh? And they’re brothers?! Like real life brothers, except the one, right? But they were kids when they met?! Why is that so cute? Imagine having that much talent in one household. Shit, in one town! I bet their parents were exhausted like, always. And their MUSIC… hello? The guitarist is mindblowing, dude. And you kissed that man? On the lips?! Like full on contact, right? Was there tongue? Did he get into it? Where were you? I need to know all of these things in massive detail stat, bitch.” Ruth is absolutely rambling, and you know if you don’t cut her off soon, you will never get a chance to speak at all.

“Yes, Ruthie, I kissed the hot guitarist,” you confirm quietly, glancing around to be sure you’re alone. “No, not really any tongue. We were in a restaurant, and the vibe was kinda strange, so. It didn’t last long, but god, it was hot…” you trail off, reminiscing for just a second. You’re truly unable to get the feeling of his lips out of your head. “Yes, three brothers, two twins, one honorary brother that might as well be. I haven’t gotten a chance to truly get to know them all yet, so my details are skimpy. But listen, I’m trying to stay professional, okay–”

“Hun, if you’re lip-locking with that brown-eyed man on the first day you are wayyyyyyy past professional, I’m just saying,” she wails into a condescending laugh.

“No I’m fucking not!” you yell back, fully prepared to tell her exactly why it was warranted. “Listen, here’s what happened…” you do as she says, and go into grave detail about the events on the plane, and in the restaurant, and the sweet additions to the playlist when you got back to your hotel room. You spared no detail because if Ruth is good at anything, it’s collecting specifics and cataloging them away, only to one day effortlessly put them all together into one big beautiful puzzle laid out for you on a shining silver platter. She has a knack for thinking of things realistically rather than living in a fairy tale, and you’re thankful for it. She keeps your sometimes wandering thoughts in check.

“Shit, babe… what are you gonna do?” her voice was calmed now that you’ve caught her up.

“I don’t know, everything is just… happening really fast.” The early evening breeze blows your hair, and you can hear the distant chatter of their fans lined up and camping just around the corner of the building. It’s almost showtime.

“I know what’s gonna happen,” Ruth states matter of factly. “He’s gonna add another song soon, you watch.”

“You think? He left things kind of… awkward just now, I really don’t think that he meant what he said last night, he was just caught up in–”

“Y/N, he wouldn’t say he fully intends to kiss you after you tell him to Do It Again… men lie but that seems… I dunno…” she goes on. “Just, don’t make me wait so long between now and the next thing, okay? I know you’re busy kicking ass but please keep me informed…” she begs.

“I will babe. I actually think it’s time for me to go. I promise I will text you tonight, okay?”

“I’ll be staring at my phone. Good luck,” she replies, and you end the call with a quiet goodbye.

—

You take special care wrapping the steaming hot tea bag around the spoon, squeezing out the water before tossing it in the trash. Your eyes scan the table for the Whiskey, pouring in a shot or so to mix with the honey at the bottom. Josh’s instructions were very clear and you have made sure to follow them exactly, not wanting to miss a single step. You stir up the boiling hot drink and push it to the side, ready to start on Danny’s. You grab the metal cup and add a scoop of ice, your eyes searching for the bottle of Tequila.

You feel your phone buzz in your back pocket as you pour the tequila into the cup, topping it off with soda water. You pull your phone out as you wait for the fizz to subside, but the sight on the screen steals away your focus.

‘Jake Added A Song to Your Shared Playlist: 🐥’

Oh my god Ruth was right.

You quickly swipe open the notification with shaking hands, waiting as the shitty venue wi-fi tries to load the playlist. Isn’t he getting dressed right now? Isn’t he busy? Why is he doing this?

It finally loads and you scroll to the bottom, laughing to yourself as you see the song he added two minutes ago, ‘Back In Black’ by AC/DC. You know the song well, but much like you did last night, you search your mind for what he is trying to say. You think on the lyrics, nothing really sticking out to you in regards to the situation the two of you have found yourself in, but you press play anyway, listening to the familiar and catchy intro. It has to mean something, right? You nod your head along with the song as you finish making everyone’s drinks, blushing to yourself as you realize that he was thinking about you.

Should you reply? Is there even a response to that? You don’t even really know what he is trying to say. You pick up your phone from the table and begin to search through your favorites, seeing if there is anything that could serve as a worthwhile reply but you’re quickly interrupted by the door being flung open and Paul grabbing your attention.

“Two minutes ‘til stage, guys are walking,” he says, and just like that he disappears again.

You shove your phone in your pocket and snatch up all the drinks, quickly following after him with your armful of drinks. Your heart starts to race, you can feel the adrenaline filling the building, the ground is rumbling with the sound of the intro music and the screams of anxious fans.

You position yourself at the base of the stairs, knowing they will grab their drinks from you as they make their way onto the stage. The chaos and commotion backstage is overwhelming, and you find yourself starting to pick up on the nervous, frazzled energy. Sam is the first to spot you with an eager grin, plucking the grapefruit Topo Chico from your hand as he scurries across the stage to place it on his amp. Daniel is not far behind him, drumsticks in hand as he approaches you with a shy smile.

“One of those for me?” he asks playfully, reaching for his metal cup.

“All yours! Have a good show!” you answer, watching him walk up the stairs and towards his kit.

The lights are starting to dim, the music growing louder as the time draws closer. You don’t see Josh, or Jake for that matter, and you find it a little strange that there was no drink request for Jake, but you chalk it up to him likely not having time to drink much during the show. Suddenly Josh appears from the hallway, a vision in white satin, looking almost ethereal. He is frantically putting in his in-ears, and reaching for his mic, eyes locking on you as you hold out his tea towards him.

“Ahh, excellent, thank you so much, let’s have a good show, yeah?” he smiles, squeezing your shoulder as he bounds up the stairs to place his drink on Danny’s platform. You’re so caught up in watching Josh float around the stage in a cloud of white chiffon and crystals that you don’t notice that Jake is walking towards you.

When you do turn around you find him only a few feet away, the stage lights catching the black beads of his suit coat, sparkling like onyx. The satin suit is fit to his body, leaving very little to the imagination. His jacket is open, his chest bare save for a few silver necklaces he seems to always be wearing. This is the most of him you’d seen at this point, and the definition of his chest and the lingering tan on his skin has you breaking out into a cold sweat. You swallow harshly as you see the eyeliner he has added to his waterline, and you feel yourself physically backing up to brace yourself on the stair rail behind you. Holy shit.

You find yourself wishing you had a drink for him, anything actually, just to have an excuse to talk to him. His guitar tech meets him as he walks, twisting the knob on his wireless receiver and handing Jake the vintage red Gibson. He tosses the strap over his shoulder, positioning it across his body and releasing his hair from beneath the strap. You watch him as he mouths a muffled ‘thank you’ to Johnny, giving him a grateful smile as he continues to walk.

The stage lights behind you have shifted, and the music is coming to a close. He has to be on stage in seconds but it’s as if he is on his own time, moving so effortlessly through the dimly lit wing. The lights hit him just right and his eyes meet yours in a smug grin. Suddenly the song makes sense. His suit is completely custom, hand beaded, all black satin. Fucking hell, the cockiness of this man.

You expect him to climb the stairs to meet his brothers, but instead he steps up to you, resting his hand on the body of his guitar. “Nothing for me?” he asks, arching a brow and flashing you a sideways smile.

“The– the list! There wasn’t anything on the list for you, I–”

The lights overhead are starting to flash, the crew calling for thirty seconds through the walkie-talkies. You glance around panicked that you clearly missed the memo on a drink for Jake. Fuck!

He smiles at you as he laughs, “I’m just kidding, I don’t put it on the list with theirs. I bring my own.”

“Well where is it?!” you ask, a hint of panic in your voice.

“Ah, I left it in the greenroom. Was a bit…busy with something else,” he says, trying to stifle a smile.

You can barely hear him, doing your best to read his lips over the shrill screaming coming from the crowd. He seems to sense this, leaning towards you and placing his hand on your shoulder. His lips brush against your ear as his fingertips press into your skin. You can feel his guitar pressed against your stomach, his fingers guarding the strings, “Do you know where my backpack is?” he asks, whispering into your ear.

You shake your head, and truth be told the proximity of this man’s mouth to your body has you unable to even remember your own name, let alone where his backpack is.

His fingers tap your shoulder as he holds it, pulling away his head just slightly to look at you. He licks his lips and leans back in, “It’s in the corner of the dressing room, by the couch. Go find it for me? My drink is in there.”

“Jake, stage left go,” the walkie calls out, and he pulls away again, giving you a smug smile.

You look at him, taking him in completely before he steps onto the stage. “Wait, Jake! Your in-ears! Where are your monitors?!” you shout in a panic.

He smiles and laughs as his hand squeezes your bicep, tilting his head down a little and letting his eyes peer into yours, “I don’t wear in-ears, baby.”

He pulls away quickly, sprinting up the steps, looking over his shoulder at you one last time before disappearing out of view. Baby? Did he just call you baby? Your heart is pounding in your chest as you try to catch your breath. You feel frozen in place, only spinning your body enough to watch the four of them take their places on the platform at the back of the stage. Jake is on the very end, running a hand through his hair, just as the music stops and the curtain falls in front of them. The crowd screams violently as Josh starts to speak, nodding to Jake to kick things off.

Danny jumps down off the platform and onto his kit, as Sam prances down the steps with his bass. The guitar sounds fill the venue as Jake starts to make his way down the shiny metallic steps. His eyes flick over to the side stage, catching yours for a moment as a smile lights up his face. You are in complete shock, surely this is not the man you kissed last night. The man that was stumbling over his words today, and pushing a pull door…?

His hand lifts from the guitar for just a second as he motions a signal for ‘drink’ to you as if he’s holding an invisible cup to his lips. You quickly snap out of it when you remember his instructions. You tear yourself away, making your way back to the green room in search of his backpack. The room is quiet when you enter, empty, not a soul in sight. You can hear the rumble of the bass in your chest as your eyes scan the room for the black leather backpack, finally spotting it behind the couch.

You walk over to it, crouching down in front of it and lifting the flap. You unzip the top finding it full to the brim. Your hands are shaking as you carefully sift through his things. His phone is on the very top of the pile, a black leather case with an embossed ‘JTK’ on the bottom right corner. Your heart flutters in your chest knowing that he adds the songs to your playlist from this very phone. You toss it aside, continuing to look through the bag, your fingers snagging on his tangled pile of headphones. You work quickly to untangle them, wrapping the cord around itself in a neat coil before dropping them back into the bag. Your hands find a change of clothes, a pair of black pants and a white t-shirt nestled under a pair of printed black boxers. Your breath catches as you realize what you’re touching but you try not to think too much of it. Find his drink.

Your hands feel around at the very bottom of the bag, finding dozens of guitar picks, a capo, a few hair ties, what feels like maybe his wallet, a glasses case, and a passport book. Your fingers land on something glass, and you pull it from the bag, but quickly find out it’s not what you’re looking for. This is a bottle of cologne, fairly expensive from the looks of it. You look around the room before pulling off the small silver cap, and breathing in the scent you remember from last night. Fuck it smells so good.

Put it away, Y/N.

You push everything over to the other side of the bag, finally spotting what you were looking for front and center. You grab the neck of the wine bottle, pulling out the entirely full bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. Interesting choice for him, but you guess you don’t really know too much about him just yet.

You quickly zip up his bag and rush over to the drink table, grabbing the metal chalice and filling it to the brim with his white wine. It sloshes over the edge a bit as you rush back out to the stage, doing your very best not to spill it in its entirety before it even makes it to him.

You’re positively out of breath by the time you make it to the stairs, your hand dripping with the sticky wine as you watch Jake just stepping into a guitar solo. He walks across the front of the stage engaging with the crowd on the barricade, his fingers moving faster than lightning through a song you can honestly say you’ve never heard. You know you will get to know these songs very well over the next few months, and what better way to hear them than live.

You peek around the curtain as you watch him crouch down, standing quickly to throw his head back, the faint echo of his voice as he yells to his guitar drifting to the side stage. His body is covered in sweat and his hair sticks to his neck as he catches sight of you with his drink. You hear a few people talking behind you but you can’t seem to care, or rip your eyes away from him. He is a completely different person on stage than the man you sat next to on the plane, and even in the bar last night, and to be quite honest, you didn’t know which version of him you wanted more.

JAKE POV

The spotlight descends away from you as you finish out your solo, the crowd already going absolutely wild. It feels so good to be back here again, allowing yourself to get immersed in the feeling of the instrument in your hands and the effect it has on the people listening and watching. Sweat is already pouring from your face and chest, and you’re only three songs in. For a second, you’d completely forgotten that you’d sent Y/N on a mission for your drink.

You hope she’s finding it, given you had kind of hidden the backpack behind a couch to stay out of plain sight. In the back of your mind, you quickly picture her picking through the bag stuffed with your things, and you smirk when you realize she probably is seeing a bit more into your personal life than she had anticipated, tonight. But for some reason, you don’t feel embarrassed by it.

You back up toward your amps as Josh continues to sing, and you see her from the corner of your eye, standing side-stage with your chalice in hand. Oh, so she’s a good listener. Noted.

Now that you aren’t at the center of attention, you realize you are a bit thirsty. The four of you finish out the song and the lights go down, and you take the opportunity to run to her to grab your drink.

You haphazardly grab it as she hands it to you with utmost caution, handling it as if it were made of gold.

“Shit!” You can’t help but laugh out loud, noticing that the rather large cup is filled all the way to the brim with your wine. You take a big gulp down to empty it a little.

“Sorry, sorry careful, I didn’t know how much you wanted and I assumed you wouldn’t want refills!” she crams all her words together into one big sentence as you chuckle at her again. Damn, even in the dim lighting you can see how pretty she is. Your heart literally skips a beat as she finally meets your eyes.

“S’okay, this is perfect. Thank you…” you whisper as you place a quick hand onto her waist, backing yourself away from her. Should you have touched her there? Maybe not, but it just happened. You make your way back over to set the cup down safely in a place you know it won’t spill. You make quick eye contact with Danny as he waits for you to cue him in to the next one, but his look is laced with something else, curiosity. He definitely saw your encounter. And he knows that you normally don’t place your hand ever-so-gently on your runner’s waists. Fuck fuck fuck.

You return his prying eyes with an upturned chin, silently telling him to mind his own business. You finish out the show, feeling good again as you begin to show off just a little. You always show off, but for some reason, this time feels more important. You have someone to show off for.

You glance to the side stage again and see that Y/N is standing with Ty, Mia, and Lyla as they watch the show. That feels strange, you think to yourself, seeing her grouped together with all your brothers’ significant others, getting along and talking closely. Your stomach churns at the thought of actually liking it.

No, Jake. No. You know this isn’t right.

Twenty minutes later you find yourself waving goodbye to what was one hell of a crowd, and you join the other three as you descend the stairs to backstage. Your ears are ringing as you walk through the darkness toward the light of the hallway, realizing that she is the first person you see when you finally get there. She’s standing with Paul, listening to his instructions as she hands each of you a clean black towel. You’re last in line, and you grin a little as she tosses your towel to you instead of the gentle handoff she did for your brothers.

The tiniest smile crosses her face as she keeps intent eye contact with Paul, taking in all of his words when you know her mind is racing with thoughts of you. Her face blushes with pink as you pass her. That wasn’t unnoticed, babe.

You rush back to the green room to try and beat Danny to the shower, knowing that he is probably already stripped down and getting inside. When you find your prediction to be true, you decide to take off your jacket and kick back on the black leather couch to finish off your heavy-handed pour of wine.

“You guys wanna go to this bar I found?” Josh proposes.

“Bit dangerous right after a show, don’t you think?” Sam chimes as he hangs his satin jacket on the rolling rack.

“This one is like, 6 blocks away and kind of hidden. Probably won’t be anyone there, I did some research. Plus they have Fernet Branca. I need a few shots to keep this fuckin’ cold at bay,” Josh explains as Ty starts to help him remove the rhinestones from his face.

“Bleugh, I don’t see how you drink that nasty shit,” Sam says with disgust.

Josh scoffs at him. “Might be nasty, but it fucking works!”

You lean over the arm of the couch and retrieve your backpack, sifting through to find your clean change of clothes. You smile as you realize she more than likely saw your black boxers covered in flamingos. As you zip the bag back up, you notice your earbuds sitting at the bottom of the bag. They had been rolled into a perfect flat coil, with the wire tucked and tied into itself. Your heart sinks when you realize she had taken the time to sort them for you, probably remembering the mess of tangled wires on the plane.

Should you add a song?

No. You did already. Get it together. This woman has your mind running marathons.

But a bar as a distraction? Perfect.

“Yeah, let’s go check it out. I’m getting a shower,” you make the executive decision as you stand from the couch, slapping Danny’s towel-covered ass as you pass him on your way to the bathroom.

——

“Jake, you comin’ or what?” Sam asks, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

“Yeah, give me a sec,” you answer, pretending to fumble through your backpack. He nods and heads out the door with Lyla, leaving you alone in the greenroom.

You haven't seen Y/N since you came off the stage, panting, filled with adrenaline, and in desperate need of a towel. You showered quickly and changed into your clothes, hoping you wouldn’t miss her coming into the green room. You were going to ask her to join you at the bar, and you were hoping she would say yes. Though, you haven’t seen her, and now thirty minutes have passed and the van is leaving. You consider sending her a text, but remember there was no response to your last song. It had been your feeble attempt to lighten the tension from earlier in the day, so you figure you should let it be. Tonight was probably crazy for her, and you want her to ride the post show high as long as she can.

You throw your backpack over your shoulder and make the trek to the van, finding everyone rearing and ready to hit the bar. A drink does sound good, a stiff one. You slam the door shut and let out a sigh, feeling the van pull out of the gates and into traffic. You see a few fans lined up against the fence hoping to catch a peek at the four of you, so you all wave through the window praying they won’t follow you.

You kick yourself for being this caught up over a woman you met only yesterday. This was not supposed to happen. You wanted to clear your head, not screw it up even more. You took in a deep breath, letting it pass through your lips as the van rounded the corner and came to a stop in front of the bar. You couldn’t read the name of the bar, something foreign in burned out neon, but Josh seemed to know that you were at the right place. You all stepped out of the van, making your way into the decently crowded bar. You were thankful that no one seemed to notice you, the group of you making your way to the back of the bar and piling into a round wooden booth.

Josh volunteers to grab the first round, and you signal to him for your usual, not needing to say a word for him to understand. Lyla and Mia instantly strike up a conversation about the show, Sam and Daniel hanging on their every word. You listen to what they’re saying, pretending to be engaged in the conversation, but your mind wanders quickly. The exhaustion of your body is starting to set in, mixed with the already present jet lag, you feel yourself spiraling quickly. You know that drink will bring you back to life though, and you hope Josh hurries.

You wonder where Y/N is. What she is doing. What she thought of the show. If she felt that same electricity you did when you touched her. You quickly shake your head of the thoughts, returning to the present when Josh sets your drink down in front of you.

He and Ty slide in next to you as the rest of the group starts to sip on their own drinks. You straighten in your seat, trying to give everyone a little more space as Josh starts to speak.

“Hell of a kick off…”

“Yeah, no fuck ups either,” Sam adds, elbowing Danny.

“Jake? Notes?” Josh nods, waiting for you to add your two cents.

“Yeah, yeah I think it was a good show, need to keep that energy for the rest of the run. Think that transition from Heat Above to Highway could be a little tighter if we’re gonna keep that on the set, but–”

“You seemed especially talkative tonight, thought I was gonna have to turn my monitors up to drown out your screaming,” Josh jokes. You cut your eyes at him in annoyance. It’s not like you could help it.

“Only screaming to drown out the sound of your voice, brother,” you quip, taking a sip of your drink. Tequila soda, extra lime.

“Please, I think you were just having a little Jake moment because of a certain someo–”

“Fuck off, Josh, seriously,” you spit.

“Oh, who, the runner? Y/N?” Danny asks, turning to face you with a shit eating grin.

“Yep.” Josh answers, popping the ‘p’.

You send a threatening look to Josh, and he knows he needs to drop it. “I don’t know what you’re all on and on about. Can you just drop it? Christ.”

“You sure man? I saw that little exchange side stage. Looked more than friendly,” Danny adds, and of course you knew it was coming.

Lyla sends you a questioning look, and you quickly look away before she has time to examine things any further. Her gaze travels to Mia, the two of them looking at each other before turning back to you.

“Anyway, Daniel…you and Sam need to watch my cue for Highway, I’ll let Josh do his little spiel, he’ll signal me, and I’ll signal you. I don’t think anyone noticed tonight, but let's not do that again, yeah?”

Everyone nods in agreement as you toss back the rest of your drink in frustration. You motion for Josh and Ty to let you out, desperate to get out of this booth and get another drink. You make your way to the bar, standing amongst the other patrons waiting their turn. You pull your phone from your pocket, hoping to see something, anything from her, but it's empty, the same as it was ten minutes ago. Should you text her?

No. Stop thinking about her, fuck.

You order a new drink, a double this time, hoping it will help you clear your head of this woman. You weave through the crowd with your drink in hand as you make your way back to the table, however when it comes into sight you see none other than Paul, Wes and Y/N standing in front of it.

You take a large sip from your glass, clearing your throat and trying to regain your composure. You definitely weren’t expecting her to show up. A wave of nerves washes over you as you see her standing there, dark jeans and a black top, her hair hanging down her back in waves. Your eyes travel straight back to her ass, hugged so perfectly in her jeans you almost have to head to the bathroom to fix yourself. You drag your eyes back up towards the table, your chest growing warm as you watch her talk to Josh, secretly wishing it was you.

You approach the group, laying a hand on Paul's shoulder to get his attention. He turns to you and shakes your hand with a smile, followed by Wes. You slide into the booth next to Mia, setting your drink in front of you as Josh continues to talk to Y/N.

“Y/N, why don’t you hang with us? We’re more fun than these old guys,” Josh laughs, playfully slapping Paul’s arm.

She turns to look at Paul who is shrugging his shoulders and nodding, “Wouldn’t hurt to get to know these fools.”

You can see a look of hesitation on her face, her eyes flick to Josh and Sam, then to Daniel and finally to you. They linger for a second before she nods her head, agreeing to spend her evening with the group of you. She takes a seat next to Ty as he pushes Josh over to make room for her. You smile a little watching her get settled, pushing her hair behind her ear as she nervously peers up at you from across the table. The corner of your lip turns up as you look at her, and hers does the same. You know that all eyes are on you now, though, so you try to seem as casual as possible.

“You need a drink?” you ask, letting your eyes meet hers, almost sparkling in the bar lighting. So fucking pretty, fuck. You are so, so fucked.

She shrugs and nods, looking around at what everyone else is drinking as she bites her lips. “How about a Tito’s and Sprite, two limes?” she asks, almost as if nervous to say it.

You nod your head once, silently commending her for not ordering a fucking cranberry vodka.

“Got it, anyone else?” you ask, looking at the group as they shake their heads.

“I’ll be back,” you say, standing from the booth and making your way back to the bar you just came from. You don’t have to wait long this time, ordering her drink and making sure they don’t skip on the limes. You’re kind of glad you are the one getting her drink, giving you another minute or two to shake the nerves in your system that arose just from seeing her.

You glance over your shoulder towards the booth, watching as she talks animatedly with everyone at the table. You feel a little twinge of happiness as you look at her, seeing her fit in so effortlessly with the group. You grab the glass off the bartop and start to make your way back over to them, weaving through a thick crowd of people congregating in the middle of the bar.

You place her drink in front of her before taking your seat again, her cheeks blushed pink as she looks at you. “Just let me know how much and I can venmo whoever.”

“Oh, no, don’t worry about it. I got it,” you answer, giving her a tight lipped smile.

“I was just telling Y/N that I’m gonna have to fire Mia and hire her to start making me drinks from now on. Your wine glass was practically overflowing all night,” he laughs as Mia scoffs. He tosses his arm around her, kissing her cheek as he whispers in her ear.

“To be fair, I did drink it all,” you offer, tipping your head towards her. Her cheeks are red, and you can tell she’s a little embarrassed about the whole thing. She sips at her drink, swallowing down the bubbly alcohol. You can see her tension ease a little as she puts down the glass, her eyes meeting yours again. The moment is quickly zapped as Josh grabs her attention.

“You know, I did happen to look over and see you a few times. Seemed like you were enjoying the show,” Josh pauses, smiling at her, “Thought I was going to have to come pick your jaw up off the ground after The Archer.”

Her face blushes a deep red now, clearly embarrassed that Josh caught her in what she thought was a private moment. Part of you wants to jump over the table and choke him, but you don’t, just clearing your throat instead to warn him. Y/N sips her drink a little faster now through a laugh, clearly needing it to kick in a little quicker.

She was really watching you?

“Yeah, you were kinda on one tonight, weren’t you Jake?” Daniel adds, chewing the end of the straw in his drink. “They were crazy over on your side. You were givin’ it to ‘em.”

“S’that why you were showing out tonight? Trying to impress all your little fans?” Sam adds, quirking an eyebrow at you.

Josh scoffs a laugh and raises his eyebrows, looking over to Y/N, “Oh, I’m thinking it was someone else entirely, Sammy boy.”

Instinctively your foot connects with his leg as you kick him in an effort to shut him up. Your eyes flick over to Y/N, clearly uncomfortable and deeply embarrassed, on her first night no less. Her eyes start to flick around the table as everyone looks at her, before falling down to the table as she runs her finger around the rim of her glass.

“Don’t listen to them, Y/N,” Mia jumps in. “They spend 50% of their time bagging on each other and the other 50% trying to embarrass us.” Her act of heroism obviously makes Y/N feel a little more comfortable, and you realize that sometimes you and your brothers truly have no filters at all. “Just tell them to fuck off.” She adds a wave of her hand through the air, showing that she was used to it, now.

“Oh shit, heard about your little situation at the bar last night, Y/N. Heard there was some trouble,” Sam says, leaning into the table as the volume of the crowd starts to drown him out. “Glad Jake was able to come to your rescue.” God damnit, do they ever shut up?

“Oh yeah, Y/N you can always call Dean and tell him where you’re going so you don’t have to deal with Jake if you need something. I’m sure Dean is a lot more pleasant than Jake is at midnight, anyway,” Josh barks, sending another shooting wave of annoyance through your chest. Little did he know that you were perfectly fucking pleasant with her at midnight last night. More than pleasant, actually.

“I’ll remember that next time, Josh,” she replies, a little sound of defeat in her voice.

You know what Josh’s next move is going to be, he’s going to start prying her with questions of what exactly happened. He knows you gave him the condensed version, and knowing him, he’s bound and determined to get the truth out of one of you. So you decide to stop him before he starts.

“Yeah, it wasn’t a big deal, I had just downed a drink before she texted, I hardly remember telling the guy to fuck off. We can just pretend the whole thing never even happened, right Y/N?” you propose, immediately regretting the words as soon as they slipped from your mouth. You didn’t want to pretend it never happened. You’ve relived it over and over and over since it did…

Her face falls a bit as she nods her head. “Yeah, no. Never even happened. I’ll…remember not to bother you next time. Knee-jerk reaction.” Her voice is a bit pointed as she tries to defend herself without being too bitchy about it. You watch as she bites the insides of her cheeks, probably wanting to lash out at all of you. She felt threatened by that guy, and she called for help. You feel like shit, she texted you because she was panicked, and was most familiar with you… hell, you’d just spent an entire day on the plane together. She probably doesn’t even have Dean’s number yet…shit. Your choice of words had bitten you in the ass yet again. You’ve definitely fucked up.

But the guys absolutely can not know that you kissed her…

The conversation thankfully takes a turn and you’re able to disassociate from it for a minute, watching as she struggles to stay involved, while also completely avoiding eye contact with you. Yeah, definitely fucked up.

She finishes the rest of her drink and slides out from the booth, excusing herself to the restroom. She flips her hair behind her shoulder and tosses her purse over it too, and you find yourself wishing that you could reach out and grab her hand to stop her. Her eyes stay fixed to the floor as she flits away into the crowd, completely disappearing from your view.

The minutes pass by as you flow in and out of the conversations, your subconscious reminding you every so often that she isn’t back yet. Your eyes repeatedly scan the crowd and over to Paul and Wes, and each time you find them still seated alone at the bar. Where did she really go?

You start to get anxious as you finally decide to say fuck it. You pull the tiny pointless straw from your drink, biting it between your teeth as you pull your phone from your pocket, bringing up her text thread.

You

12:29AM: Where did you go?

You chomp the straw nervously as you move it around in your mouth, feeling it poking and prodding against your gums. You watch your message turn to read, but no reply bubble pops up. You’re facing the door, and you haven’t seen a soul pass through it, so you know she hadn’t snuck out. Seven entire more minutes go by, and you realize she’s not going to respond. You need to make this right. You need to tell her last night meant more than nothing to you.

Suddenly you get the brazen idea to go ahead and add another song to the playlist, thinking that maybe since it worked last night…

You pull up your music app and hit the search box, already knowing exactly what song you are going to add. ‘Go Outside’ by The Cults. Perfect. Straight and to the point.

Josh continues to finish out a story you’d already heard twice today as your knee begins to bounce up and down with anticipation. Sure enough, a few minutes later, you get the notification that she, too, has added another song. Yes. Fucking finally.

‘Gone’ by JR JR magically appears at the bottom of the playlist, and you can’t stop the confused scowl that crosses your face. What the fuck? There’s no way she’s gone… You’ve been watching the door…

You decide to cut the shit, and text her. If anything, you’ll apologize for how everything had gone, and let her continue on with her night. You couldn’t go another second without letting her know how sorry you were that things had gone so awry. You pull up your text thread, seeing the urgent messages from last night still present on your screen.

You

12:42AM: I know you’re not gone, I’m facing the door. Meet me out back, please?

You don’t even stick around to wait for her reply as you lock your phone and slam it onto the table, standing from your seat to hurriedly head out to the back patio area. “I’ll be back, going for a smoke,” you announce, and thankfully, no one says they want to join you.

You make your way to the back door, pushing through the heavy metal and into the enclosed seating area. The cold breeze almost takes your breath away. You find that it is fairly big, but thankfully completely empty. The concrete slab is lined with old picnic tables and rickety bar stools that look like they’ve seen better days. You take a seat on top of one of the tables, sliding a blunt out of your front pocket and lighting it to life, letting the smoke fill your lungs and hopefully give you the courage to speak your mind freely.

Come on, Y/N, don’t let me down…

—

You look up from the cherried tip of the blunt, hearing a pair of boots making their way across the concrete. You look at her as she makes her way towards you, the wind blowing her hair across her face. The sleeves on her shirt are surely not thick enough to brave the cold air, and you find yourself smiling as you remember finding her in the same predicament on the plane. You blow out a ribbon of smoke from your lips just as she steps up to you, her face a little sullen and her cheeks still flushed. You didn’t know if she was going to come. You hoped she would, and now that she has, it’s time to fix things.

She crosses her arms across her chest, her hands rubbing her arms to ward off the cold. You place the blunt between your lips as you slide your corduroy over your arms and toss it around her. She doesn’t fight you this time, she accepts it, sticking her arms through the sleeves and pulling it tightly across her chest. Your heart beats a little faster seeing her wrapped in it as you pinch the blunt between your fingers.

“So you didn’t leave after all…” you say, turning to look at her. She doesn’t really answer you, just looks down at the glowing blunt in your hand. You can tell she wants to say something, but she’s not letting herself, and you want to know why.

“Why did you say that you did?” you ask, flicking the ash with your thumb.

She bites her lip as she turns out to look out into the distance. She takes in a deep breath and lets it out, turning back to look at you. “Because I was embarrassed. Those people in there? They are my bosses. You are my boss. Now, their first real impression of me is that I’m some helpless idiot that needs a man to rescue her. That I am some dim-witted awestruck groupie or something. I just– This is not the first impression I wanted to make, not with them, and definitely not with you.”

You immediately stop her, knowing that her fears are completely unwarranted. “No, no. None of that is true. None of us think that. I swear. They are just picking on you because they actually do like you. You heard Mia. You would know if they didn’t. I promise. You were amazing today, truly. You made a great first impression with them. And with me,” you offer, hoping it will ease her anxiety.

She nods a little, giving you a shy smile as you nod back at her hoping to bring her out of her shell a bit. “Did you like the show, at least? Ignore what Josh said, he’s an idiot.”

“Yeah, yeah I did. Jake, you…” she pauses, shaking her head to try and articulate her thought, “You were like a completely different person up there, I–”

You swallow nervously, licking your lips, “Yeah that, kinda happens. I don’t know why or how, but something changes when I’m out there with my guitar. But, I promise it’s still normal me under all of it,” you respond, nudging her arm with your elbow, trying to get a smile out of her.

She smiles enough that you let it go, but you can tell that she’s still shaken from earlier, and you know it’s time to make your amends. “The stuff inside with the guys…That’s not what’s bothering you, is it…” you pause, meeting her eyes, “It’s what I said.”

She nods a little, shrugging her shoulders as if she’s nervous to admit it, and you feel a shock of guilt run through you. You blow out a stream of smoke into the air above you, reaching your hand out to softly touch her arm as she sits on the stool in front of you.

“It’s not true, what I said. I– didn’t mean that,” you confess, your voice a little lower and more sincere.

Her eyes flick up to yours, “Which thing? That it wasn’t a big deal or that you want to pretend it never happened?”

Fuck, you did say that earlier. You lean a little closer to her, letting your hand slide beneath her elbow and over her arm again, “Both. I actually haven’t stopped thinking about it. About you…about these…” you answer, bringing your hand up to cup her cheek, letting your thumb swipe over her bottom lip. “Not for a single second.”

Her lips are soft, a little wet. You can smell the vodka on her breath and goddamn if that doesn’t make you want her more for some reason. You want to taste her, but you need to devour her.

A smile crosses her lips, as she moves closer to you, “I was kinda wondering if you were going to make good on that text, or if it was just for show.”

You huff a laugh as you flick at the blunt again, “Well, as you saw, I do enjoy the show, but I keep my word. I meant what I said last night.”

Your eyes are dark and demanding as they look into hers. You feel her hand meet yours, plucking the blunt from your fingers and placing the tip between her pink lips, “So did I.”

She takes a long drag from the blunt, holding her breath and letting the tobacco and earth flavored smoke swirl through her lungs. She places it back in your mouth, blowing the stream of smoke over her shoulder as she leans onto the table with challenging eyes. You feel her fingertips barely tap on your lips as you take the blunt back, and the icy contact sets off an alarm in your mind to get her somewhere warm.

You hit the blunt one last time before dabbing it out on the tabletop, flicking the burnt-out paper to somewhere unknown. You stand quickly from the table, gripping her hand in yours as you pull her from the barstool. “C’mon,” you murmur, feeling the blood begin to rush through your body with anticipation. You begin leading her over to a door on the corner of the patio, again looking to see if anyone was around.

“Where are we going?” she breathes. You squeeze her hand, realizing that you’d already intertwined her fingers with yours, just as you had last night on the walk back to the hotel.

You pull the door open, letting the outside light barely illuminate the small bathroom. You do a quick check to make sure it isn’t trashed or occupied, and you pull her inside, shutting the door behind you. The small room is completely dark, devoid of any and all light at all, except for the tiniest sliver of ambient light coming from under the door. You stand with your hands still wrapped up in hers, and what felt like only inches away judging from the feeling of her breath hitting your lips.

“Wanna make good on my word…” you breathe, the sound of your heart racing in your ears.

“...In a bathroom, Jake? She giggles anxiously, but you know she doesn’t really mean it.

You let your hand follow the sound of her words, cupping her jaw again as you bring her into closer proximity. Your thumb brushes her lips again, and you can feel it trembling just a little. Or, maybe it's your hand shaking…the nerves rising up have you feeling light headed. There has never been another woman that makes you react like this. Ever.

“Did you have somewhere else in mind?” you ask, bringing your lip between your teeth as you hear her breath catch, and feel her head shake side to side.

You feel her tiptoe just a little bit, bringing her forehead to balance on yours. Your noses graze just barely, and her chest rests across yours, heaving steadily along with each breath the both of you take. Don’t fuck this up, Jake…

“No, this is perfect,” she whispers, her lips finally making the smallest contact with yours. You feel all of your nerves at attention, every hair on your body standing on end with anticipation for touching her; feeling just the bare minimum of her body was already sending your nervous system into overdrive. Your fingertips tighten on her cheek as you finally close the gap, feeling her plush lips pressing into yours for the second time in twenty four hours. She’s soft and inviting, the feeling of her just the same as it was last night, except now without the element of forced surprise. She feels natural and normal, like you’re meeting her again for the first time after a lifetime spent apart.

It’s like a dream, except the dream quickly turns into the most devious nightmare as she turns up the heat of the kiss. Her tongue presses gently into your mouth, and you’re allowed your first taste of her. Sweet and sour- her natural essence mixed with the limes that were in her drink… the smell of her perfume, the inability to see her face… it was all making your head spin and your vision blur.

The kiss is heated already, like she had been wanting it just as badly as you had. Your mouths crash onto one another's, her hands quickly finding your shoulder and waist as the smallest sound escapes her throat. She pulls you in toward her, her knee slipping in between your legs. Fuck, she feels good. You grasp her up in your arms, pulling her in more tightly as you begin pushing her backward toward the wall. You feel her gently bump into it, and you take the opportunity to move things in a bit more.

Swiftly, but with the utmost caution, you press her body into the wall, letting your lips trail just a little further from her mouth, down onto her jawline. “This okay?” you mutter, your lips now brushing right below her ear. You feel her body react, her muscles tensing up from your words.

You feel her head nod, “Yeah, yes. It’s… Keep–”

Her words stop short as you embrace her again, finding the kiss to have deepened even more since she gave you the go-ahead. Her hands slip up underneath your shirt, and you can feel the light scratch of her nails across your stomach. You swear you could come undone right then and there, but you hold back, taking a deep breath through your nose as you try to regain your composure. Hardly anything has even happened, and you’re already contemplating how you were going to best satisfy her tonight.

Your hands are begging to feel her skin, so you let them… your calloused fingertips creeping up under her tight black shirt just as hers had just done, her waist thick with soft muscle under the grip of your hands. You squeeze, committing the feeling of her in your grasp to the darkest parts of your memory. Fuck, you wish you could see her.

You part, stepping back just as you grip both of her hips in your hands, jerking her harshly into you. “Why did you say you left when you didn’t?” you ask, trying like hell to catch your breath.

“I was leaving…” she mumbles, pressing her center right back onto you. God, fuck. “I got a phone call.”

“From who?” you bite, your teeth clenched as you stop your eyes from rolling back in your head from the feel of her pressed against you.

“A friend.”

You huff an exasperated breath. “A friend who?”

She bucks her hips forward again, and the movement sends a surge of blood flow straight to your dick; you know for a fact she can tell how hard you are, now. “Do you really want me to answer that, or do you want to keep kissing me?”

You growl with aggravation, gripping her shoulders and pulling her away from the wall, up against the bathroom sink. You press your lips to hers again as her hands grip into your hair, pulling at the strands as you fight each other for dominance over the kiss. You can feel her fingers entangling themselves at the back of your neck as she pulls you in, unable to get you close enough.

She breaks away for a second, and you feel immediate sadness at the loss of contact. “To answer your first question, I said I left because... I wanted to see if you would follow me.”

“I would have,” you answer with no hesitation whatsoever.

“Why?”

You click your tongue, knowing that you aren’t in a position to go into detail about your unexpected, but not unwanted feelings for her. “I can’t answer that question at the moment, but when I can, I’ll let you know,” you explain, earning yourself a pissed-off laugh from her.

“Don’t scoff at me, little fledgling,” you tease, running your tongue up the side of her neck. She chills under your touch, playfully pushing your shoulders back.

You reach down, gripping the backs of her thighs as you lift her onto the marble countertop, pushing her knees apart to find your place between them again. You gently jerk her forward, letting her center meet up with yours at the most perfect height. The sound that escapes her is nothing short of the most beautiful sound you’d ever heard, and you part your lips, drinking her noises in and swallowing them down to live within you for as long as she’d let them.

You press yourself into her harder now, rolling your hips a bit as you start to lose all composure. Fuck, whenever this does finally happen, it’s gonna be good… Your hands are traveling all over her body that’s still covered in your heavy corduroy jacket, and you can feel the heat radiating from your bodies and warming up the otherwise chilled room. You want to feel her, you want to reach down and feel your clothed bodies touching one another, but you stop yourself. Instead, you grip your hands into her thighs, moving them higher and higher until they’re rested at the crease where her legs meet her ass. You want so much to keep going, keep wrapping your hands and digging your fingertips and exploring all that you could, but again, you slow your movements.

You gingerly stop your grip, instead trailing your hands lightly from her hips, up her sides and shoulders, back up to cup both of her cheeks in your hands, slowing the intense make-out into a soft subtle kiss.

“What’s wrong, Jake? Why–”

“Not here. Not like this…” you answer, and if you could see her, you swear you would have seen the same look of defeat as you’d seen earlier. Except this time, for a better reason than the first. You back away a little, feeling her body language fall.

“You’re right, you’re right,” she agrees, hopping down from the sink. “This… isn’t the best setup.”

You adjust yourself in your jeans as you laugh, “Oh, it’s the perfect setup. I just… ya know…”

“People are probably wondering how you made a smoke last this long,” she whispers.

You laugh again, taking her in a sincere embrace, letting her face bury into your chest. “Yeah, exactly.” You sway a couple of seconds as the both of you come down from the heavy session, and you can still feel her heart beating erratically as she presses against you. You lurch down and take her chin between your fingers, bringing your lips to hers in a soft and sweet kiss.

“Been thinking about doing that every single second since last night,” you admit quietly.

She laughs shyly. “Can’t believe I just made out with my boss…”

“Hey, cut that boss shit. Paul is your boss. I’m your…”

“...Mmmmmyyy….”

“I’m the one that hired your boss. Get it straight,” you pick, feigning cockiness.

“Oh please…” she laughs, pushing you hard against the wall in the still blacked-out room.

“Let’s get out of here,” you say as you move toward the door to make your grand escape, with all intentions to go ahead and make the trek back to the hotel by yourselves. The two of you step out of the bathroom and back onto the patio, fixing your tousled hair and unkempt clothes. As you round the corner, you’re stopped dead in your tracks as you meet eyes with the last person you wanted to see out here.

Josh is leaned against the same picnic table that you’d extinguished your blunt on, legs crossed at the ankle as he hugs his arms on his chest. The smug fucking smile on his face was enough to turn your raging libido into straight nausea. He holds your phone into the air, shaking it side to side as the screen lights up.

“You left this on the table, it’s been blowing up. Thought you might wanna answer it after the…third consecutive call, but now I see that you were otherwise occupied…” he snaps, his tone anything but playful. You snatch it from his hand, glancing at the screen to see a string of missed calls and texts, but most notably of them all is a text from Y/N telling you she was on her away to meet you outside. Shit. Your eyes flick to Josh’s, and you can read his expression like a book. He raises his eyebrows as he bites a smile, as if he’s saying ‘caught ya’.

You feel Y/N still standing behind you, most likely also unable to move from her stance. You watch as Josh nods to her, then brings his fingers to his mouth, motioning that he’s locking his lips, and throwing away the key. He turns and slowly walks back inside the bar, not uttering another word.

You feel her hand on your back, “Why did he do that?” she asks, a crease between her brows.

Goddammit Josh.

“I don’t know,” you snap, your voice a little harsher than you intended. It's a lie though, you know exactly why he did it.

You turn around to face her, running your hands up and down over her arms to warm her up, “I don’t know what’s up with him tonight, maybe you should spare yourself. Head back early…”

She seems a little taken aback at your suggestion, stepping back a few steps. “Oh, um, yeah you’re right, I should– I should probably go. I have some... stuff I need to do anyway.”

You can feel the nervous energy flowing from her body as her legs continue to move backwards. You don’t want her to leave, but you see no way around it now.

“Be safe, call if you need us,” you say, shoving your hands in your pockets.

She hesitates before turning away completely, almost as if she was waiting to see if you were planning to join her. You want to. You want to take her back to her room and finish what you started, but you can’t. You know Josh is waiting for you, counting each second until you step through that door.

She stops, turning back to you, “Oh, your jacket…”

“Keep it. I’ll get it later,” you say, lifting your hand and waving.

Her eyes meet yours again as she nods, a hint of sadness beneath them. Fuck fuck fuck.

You watch her walk back inside, disappearing through the door. You wait a minute or two before you make your way back inside, seeing Josh sitting in the booth alone. You mumble a curse under your breath as you slide into the booth across from him, drinking the water of the melted ice from your abandoned drink.

Josh is staring at you as he sips his drink, his eyes drifting over towards the bar where Ty and the rest of the group have gathered. He looks back to you as he sets his drink on the table and folds his hands together.

“So yeah, how’s that break going, Jacob? Pretty good it seems?” he pauses, shaking his head, “You really are getting your head straight or whatever the fuck it is you told her.”

You toss your head back in annoyance. This fucker thinks he knows everything.

“Listen to me,” you demand, your voice growing deep. “You need to stay the fuck out of it. I’m dealing with it. Do you hear me?”

He blows you off, scoffing under his breath.

“Do you hear me, Josh,” you growl.

He drags his eyes back to yours, dark and piercing, “Yeah, Jacob. I hear you. But answer me this, when was the last time you spoke to her?”

It feels like a punch in the gut as you answer, “None of your fucking business.”

“No, no, see it is kind of my business, seeing as how you’ve been–”

“No, you know what, I’m not doing this. I’m leaving, I’ll see you in the morning,” you spit, standing from the booth and grabbing your things.

“Don’t be that guy, Jake.”

You suck your teeth and nod at him with a fake smile as you turn to head toward the door.

Fucking prick, thinks he gets to call the shots in everyones life. Fuck him.

The walk to the hotel is short, the cold air cutting through you like a knife, but you’re glad she has your jacket. You know that when you get it back it will smell like her, and that alone makes this icy wind worth it.

Your mind drifts as you walk, your brain replaying the image of her in the bathroom. The way her lips felt, the way she tasted. The feeling of her skin in your hands. You have half a mind to run straight to her, pick up where you left off, but after the look on her face you aren’t sure you can.

Your phone starts to buzz in your pocket as you draw closer to the hotel, a persistent buzz indicating a phone call, not a text. You pull it from your pocket seeing the name on the Caller ID for what has to be the fourth time tonight. You curse as you slide your finger across the screen answering the call.

“Hello...”

“Hey baby, I didn’t think you were gonna pick up!” her familiar voice says.

“Wonder what could have possibly given you that idea,” you gripe in response.

“Sorry, I’m just missing you. Haven’t heard from you…” she whines.

“Yes, Isla. That is exactly the point of a break. To not hear from me,” you snap.

“But Jake, I thought you’d at least tell me you made it. I’ve been worried and you turned off your location and everything, I just miss you,” she continues, her voice suddenly grating on your nerves.

“Isla, Christ…What are you not getting?”

“Do you not miss me?” she asks, fishing for a reciprocated sentiment.

Your phone buzzes in your hand as you start to answer, pulling it away just enough to see the notification banner at the top.

‘Y/N Added A Song to Your Shared Playlist: 🐥’

Your heart lurches in your chest when you read it, and whatever Isla is saying turns into a hum of noise.

“Jake? Are you listening to me?” she asks, her tone annoyed.

“What? Yeah, I hear you. Look I uh, it’s late here. I just got back to the hotel. I’ll call you soon, okay?” you ask, trying to calm her enough to get off the phone.

“I know we’re on a break, Jake, but you know I still love you.”

“Yeah, yeah I know, hey I’m getting on the elevator, I’m about to lose you. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

You hear her sigh, “Okay, bye babe.”

“Bye,” you say, hitting the red button and ending the call.

“Fuck me, FUCK me!” you shout, the elevator doors closing in front of you. You hit the nine button letting it carry you up to your floor. This has got to stop.

You immediately open the notification from Y/N, waiting for the playlist to load. You watch as the songs start to populate one by one, the last and most recent one finally loading as you step out of the elevator on your floor. Your heart drops as you read the name of the song you know all too well. ‘High and Dry’ by Radiohead.

Fucking hell. How many times are you going to screw it up with this girl?

You press play, letting the somber and melancholy tune play through the speakers as you fumble around for your hotel room key. The lyrics swirl through your ears as you realize that you did exactly what the song says. You left her high and dry in order to cover your own ass. You’ve given her a hundred reasons to never speak to you again, and you wouldn’t blame her if she did.

You make the walk down the hallway, spotting your room, but stopping short when your eyes land on her hotel room door just a few steps away. You know she is just behind that door, probably in bed, wondering what she did wrong. Fuck.

Your mind flashes back to last night, when you wanted to kiss her again, standing at that very door. But tonight, you did. You kissed her again and fuck if it wasn’t even better than the first time. You had every intention of taking her back here tonight. Every single intention of doing whatever she asked of you. In the matter of twenty-four hours she had you completely wrapped around her finger. You’d give her anything she wanted. You want her, badly, but you just can’t seem to stop fucking it up. And now that Josh knows, you know that it will only be a matter of time before everyone knows.

You bite your lips together as you pull your room key from your pocket, looking at the shiny white plastic in your hand as your heart pounds in your chest. Your eyes flick to your door for just a moment then back to her door only a few measly steps away. The song ends as you look down at the phone in your hand.

Should you reply? Should you go to her? Should you let it be?

You know what you want to do, and you know what you should do.

But the real question is what will you do?

Join the Tag List Here

Taglist: @britney-gvf @gretavanmoon @sacredstarcatcher @wetkleenex-gvf @farfromthehomelands @takenbythemadness @writingcold @builtbybrokenbells @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @fleet-of-fiction @milkgemini @gvfpal @ageofcj @dancingcarbon @highway-tuna @stardustjake @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface @gvfmarge @gracev0609 @myleftsock @literal-dead-leaf @peaceloveunitygvf @ageofbajabule @slut4lando @jordie-gvf @sadiechar @tinydancer40 @rosabellagvf @capnjaket @lyndz2names @thetroublegetssoloud71 @gretavanomens @spark-my-nature @josh-iamyour-mama @anythingforjtk

152 notes · View notes

jpitha · 10 months

Text

The Oxygen Breathers: Careful what you wish for.

It’s another story in this world.

Despite my best efforts, the cycles continue.

The solar years pass, and I age.

My name was drawn, and in the twilight of my life, in my final instar, I find myself speaking for the Coalition. I don’t rule, not really. The Coalition is lead by a panel of ten people. Not all races are represented, but those who aren’t trust us to have their best interests in mind.

When the humans were ejected from Coalition space, their final words were not of anger, or jealousy or resentment. All they told us was, “Beware the Felimen. They are planning something.” We laughed off their warning, thinking they were just sore losers. Thinking that they had finally felt the sting of a Coalition sapient and went back to their corner, nursing a bruise.

I wish we had listened then.

Ten solar years after the humans left, the Felimen made their move. Sweeping in to colony worlds bordering their space, they struck quickly and decisively. It wasn’t a mistake, or a miscommunication or an accident, it was war.

And we were losing.

One by one our worlds fell to them. One by one the sapients of the Coalition surrendered to the Felimen. If they surrendered before an attack began then the Felimen were magnanimous. They would send down some of their number as a garrison and replace the administrators with those loyal to them. Life would continue on their world much as it had done so before. If they chose to fight back, then their destruction was complete.

We needed help, and we only knew one place to go.

Honestly? I was surprised that the Humans would even take our calls. We sent envoys and gave them our ansible and they called back almost immediately. “Come and meet with us.” they said “We will discuss things.” Because of the dangers presented by traveling, I was chosen to speak for the Coalition and packed into a ship with a very small retinue and we took a long, circuitous route to our border with Human space. I remember thinking it was odd. They shared a border with the Felimen as well, yet I heard no reports of violence on their borders.

We met on a large human ship right on the border. This time it was my turn to suit up. Their oxygen based breathing gas is utterly toxic to me. My race is fortunate that we can be in the presence of their gas mix - for a short time - without taking damage, but it was still not recommended. Our ship eased up to theirs and a docking umbilical slid out and connected to our ship. “Administrator!” A bridge officer turned towards me. “Their breathing gas is… different than what we have on file.”

I turned sharply and unconsciously gestured surprise. “How is it different?”

They turned back to their screen, peering carefully at the display. “It seems… to be a mix of their atmosphere and ours. Half ours, half theirs. It’s odd, neither party can breathe that.”

There was a tone from the comm set. The ansible officer raised their arm. “They are hailing us, audio only.”

“Greetings Coalition vessel. This is the human ambassadorial ship Speak Softly. In the name of cooperation, we have adjusted our breathing mix to be a combination of yours and ours. The temperature, pressure, and gravity have been adjusted to be more comfortable to you as well. We will all require masks for breathing, but full pressure suits are not necessary. We will of course not be upset if you wear one anyway, but we will not be suited. Additionally, the Empress of the Human Empire herself has graced us with her presence. She will be speaking on our behalf. We await your presence.”

Empress? The humans have an empire? A single sapient that rules over the entirety of their space? How odd. While I was ruminating the commander of the ship got my attention. “Administrator Kre’kk, you’re not actually going to go over to their ship without a suit are you? That is madness.”

I raised an arm in a gesture of calm. “I will, commander. The rest of my retinue however shall be suited. If the humans wish to compromise, then we shall compromise.”

In hardly any time at all, we were ready. I was wearing my mask, and my retinue was suited up. We had dithered over taking weapons, but decided against it. This was not a show of force. We were coming to them, arm parts open, asking for their help. We were the ones who did not have the strong argument.

As we stepped through the umbilical, their airlock opened. Three humans - not suited - stood there, in their breathing masks as they had said. “Welcome Administrator. Please accompany us.”

I had to force myself to not make a gesture of fear. They were small and dense and looked like they could lift all of us at once. I had only seen images of unsuited humans in reports and had only ever seen their faces when they came to my station so long ago and got into a disagreement with the Felimen. I had ejected them from the station then, and their leader, a human named Margaret had warned me then. I wonder if Margaret would be pleased to know that she was right all along.

We were lead through their halls towards a meeting room. The human ship was bright and utilitarian. Not one bit was wasted space. It was surprising. Their ship was so large! Why were they this efficient with their use of space? Me and my retinue were taller than the humans and their ship felt like a warren. Small, winding with low ceilings. Fortunately, I didn’t have to duck, except when we passed through a pressure door; they’re not using force curtains?

After a short walk, we reached a meeting room. The guards accompanying us did not enter, but instead formed up on either side of the door. “Please, enter.” At that, their eyes flicked away from us, and took up station looking straight ahead. We entered the room and…

And I gasped sharply and made a gesture of surprise. The person sitting in the center of the long table was Margaret Kellerman! She was not in her polished vermillion suit, but instead wore a long, flowing outfit in the same vermillion color. She sat slightly elevated above everyone else and looked down at me imperiously. Her eyes widened in recognition, and she smiled broadly with her mouth closed. “Why, Administrator Kre’kk. As I live and breathe. I had not expected to ever see you again.”

Her voice! It wasn’t the translator speaking for her after all. She was speaking the trade language perfectly, without machine translation. Her voice was clear and beautiful. Following the protocol, I bent my body towards the centerpoint. A bow. “Empress Kellerman. I admit I was not expecting to see you either. When we had first met, I did not know you were royal.”

Her smile settled into something that my translator’s body language module described as a smirk. “That was by design, Administrator. One cannot advertise they are a member of the royal family and also go galavanting across the galaxy leading a small group of mercenaries. Still, it is good to see you again. I recall that you were a being of reason. Did you ever reach out to your family on the colony worlds bordering the Felimen?”

She remembered that? Impressive. “I did, Empress. My crèche mate transferred to an inner world shortly after you left and I messaged them. They are with us still.”

“Most excellent. I knew I was right in warning you.” She looked down at the people on either side of them. They looked up and she nodded. “Now then, Administrator. What can humanity do to help?”

“Just like that? You’re willing to help? We ejected you from Coalition space solar years ago.”

She put up a hand and gestured. “True, true. But perhaps we were a little too… rowdy when we first met. It’s just how we are. Work hard, play hard you know? We also were coming off our first war with the Felimen and were a little touchy. We’re willing to extend our hand to assist.” Her smile slid just a small amount. “Our assistance will not be free, however.”

Here it comes. “We anticipated this Empress. My ship is loaded down with trade goods, currency, and I have authority to offer you any price for your help.”

She chuckled. “Oh no, no, Kre’kk, we don’t want money. We want a seat on the Administration Council. We wish to join the Coalition as equals.”

I tried to hide my surprise. That’s it? There would be arguments when I returned, but here and now? It seemed almost too cheap. “I-it is done, Empress. Humanity will have a seat on the council.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that. I have been given authority to speak for the Coalition. Right now I am the Coalition.”

She clapped her hands together once. “Excellent! Thank you for being so reasonable once again, Kre’kk.” She smirked again. “Not even trying to negotiate. You must be desperate.”

“We are, Empress. The Felimen seem unstoppable. They are on a war of conquest. We can only count ourselves fortunate that it is not a war of extermination.”

The small hairs over one of her eyes raised slightly. My body language module indicated that what I said interested her. “Do you wish it was? Speak carefully, Administrator.”

My chromatophores tried to cycle, to match the color and texture of the floor. I forced myself to stop trying to hide. What did she mean? “I… can’t say that I do, Empress. I dislike the war, but I… harbor no desire to see the Felimen exterminated.”

She bent down and spoke very softly to the human on one side of her. I was not able to hear what she said and I knew better than to turn up my audio amplification. “As you wish.” She raised both her hands and addressed the room. “The Felimen shall be defeated but not obliterated. We shall push them back to their original borders and set up a DMZ to keep them contained. So I order.”

“So it is done.” The rest of the humans in the room responded to her words. My retinue started. It was the first thing that anyone other than the Empress had said.

“There. Now that is out of the way, would you care for a tour? Big Stick is behind us, in nullspace. Would you like to see it? It’s pretty impressive if I do say so myself. I don’t think any Coalition races have ever been on a human dreadnought before.”

“Empress, I thank you for the invitation, but I must report back to the Coalition when they are to expect your assistance. Do you have an idea how long before we’ll see ships?”

“Oh, it’s done already.”

“I do not understand.”

“We have defeated the Felimen. All of their ships inside Coalition space have been destroyed, and all of the colony worlds that they controlled have been re-taken. Please, check your ansible.”

I turned and faced my retinue. One of them took out a pad and connected back to our ship. The ansible officer was shaken. There were reports of gigantic ships materializing out of nowhere and immediately destroying any Felimen ship they saw. Still others executed pinpoint strikes on colony worlds, seemingly only destroying Felimen administration. Already, word was coming that the Felimen were on the run, and abandoning their war wholesale.

I turned and looked at the Empress. “How?”

This time she smiled wide, with her teeth exposed. “Oh Kre’kk, we can’t give away all our secrets. However I will tell you this: None of you, not this Coalition, not the Felimen not anyone, ever presented us with a real threat. We were being nice and neighborly. We got a little rowdy and you asked us to leave. Fine. Like a good neighbor we obliged. Now you come asking for help and again, like a good neighbor, we helped. It is not our fault that you never decided to learn more about us. We were always only ‘Oxygen Breathers’ to you.” She stood. “Now then. Would you like a tour? You can’t see the whole thing, but we’ll take out enough to impress.”

Her smile was terrifying.

#humans are deathworlders #writing #humans are space orcs #sci fi writing #jpitha #humans and aliens #humans are space oddities #The oxygen breathers

270 notes · View notes

lesservillain · 2 months

Text

an on the outside story.

summary: a new edition to the family

“Too nice?”

You raise a confused brow as you read the little info card on the outside of the kennel. The name “Killer” had caught your attention as you approached the barred door. When you saw the dog itself a chill ran down your spine.

This dog looked big. Like it could rip the head off of anyone for looking at it wrong. It sat quietly, the only dog not barking amongst those at the shelter. His eyes were on what you thought was you at first. But when you shuffled over slightly, you realize he’s looking right at Eddie, who stands behind you with a grin.

“Oh, yeah,” the kennel girl chimes in, “Killer’s owner wanted him to be their guard dog, did all the training and whatnot. But they said that he didn’t listen to them and was too nice, not the right fit for a guard dog. So they dumped him here with us.”

“Can we see him?” Eddie asks, a glint in his eyes as he approaches the kennel.

You whip your head around, looking at him incredulously. “What?”

“Yeah of course!” The girl seems excited that Eddie was interested in the dog. “He’s really such a sweetheart. And a huuuuge cuddle bug.”

“It’s name is Killer,” you whisper anxiously to Eddie, but he ignores you. You grab his hand, squeezing it nervously.

The girl goes to open the door, and you start to tense up. The dog watches quietly, eyes still set on Eddie. You feel nervous, afraid of what this dog might do to your fiancé if he gets the chance to.

But, once the door to the kennel finally opens, its whole personality flips. Suddenly he’s tapping his feet and jumping around playfully as the kennel girl greets him. When she waves for you to come in, Eddie’s hand slips from yours and he takes a step in.

“Hey there, buddy,” he says in that chipper tone people talk to animals with, “Aren’t you just a handsome man.” Killer gets excited, turning in a circle and giving a deep bark. Eddie kneels down to his level, giving him head scritches and ear rubs. “All big and scary on the outside, but you’re just a big ol’ softie, aren’t cha.”

“Sounds like someone I know,” you say sarcastically, taking a cautious step into the kennel. You crouch down next to Eddie and Killer just about loses his mind when he starts getting attention from two people at once. He flops over on his belly, letting you scratch while Eddie pats him on the chest, playing him like a drum.

The three of you play for a while in his kennel. The way Killer carries his toys so very softly in his mouth makes you giggle. You also learn quickly that tennis balls make him lose his shit after taking him out to his run.

When the kennel assistant comes to check on you, you and Eddie look at each other. “Can we get some adoption papers?”

On the way home, Eddie wants to stop at the pet store. Killer came with a spiked collar and chain leash but you decided to leave them behind, opting to use one of the leads given by the shelter. Killer didn’t pull at all, but Eddie wanted to start running with him the next morning, so a proper collar and leash were needed.

“He’d been cooped up in that kennel for how long? Yeah, trust me babe, I know that feeling. He’s gonna love running, aren’t cha, Bud?” Eddie reaches into the back seat where Killer pants happily, patting him on the head. You’re glad you put a blanket down with how much he’s drooling back there.

Once inside, you pick out a nice leather lounging collar for the house, and Eddie picks out a good harness for him when you’re out and about. The both of you take Killer down the toy isle and let him pick out some toys, and he goes absolutely bananas as he tries to fit as many toys in his mouth as he can.

When you get to the checkout area, you stop when you see the tag machine. “We should probably get him one of those in case he gets out. Like put his name and our address on it.” Eddie agrees, the three of you standing in front of the machine. Looking through the options, you decide the classic bone shape is the best, and all that's left is to input the name.

Neither of you moves, looking at the little keyboard as it waits for your input. You look over at Killer, then to Eddie, who seems to have the same thought as you.

“Okay so what are we going to call him then?” You laugh.

“Uh, what about…Rex?”

“Rex,” you scrunch up your nose, “he’s not a Rex. Right buddy?”

Killer’s ears perk up as you talk to him, almost dropping the duck toy from his mouth.

“Fine, you got any ideas?” He crossed his arms.

“Hmmmmmm,” you place a hand on either side of Killer’s big head and peer into his eyes. You rub his ears as you think, feeling the density of his noggin in your palms as you look him over. A smile makes it way on your lips, and you look at Eddie matter- of-factly.

“His name is Bear,” you say, standing up straight, facing Eddie.

“Bear?”

“Yep, he told me.”

Eddie looks down to now Bear, stares at him for a moment, and then nods his head. “Yeah, his name is Bear.”

And Bear has no issues when you bring him home. He really was well behaved, knowing a lot of tricks and commands, including bumping his nose on the back door to tell you to let him out. Eddie even played fetch with him while you cooked dinner.

When Wayne stopped by to drop something off, Bear was instantly on him, begging for attention. Wayne was pulling his old grumpy man act, but you saw him give bear some ear scritches when he thought no one was looking.

As soon as its time for bed, Bear gets comfy at the end of your bed on his new dog bed. You’re under the covers as you watch Eddie bend down and talk to Bear.

“Goodnight, Bear. I’m sorry you had to be locked up for so long. Your new mommy knows how to make a guy feel at home, though, so I think you’ll be just fine.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #inmate!eddie munson #inmate!eddie munson x reader #on the outside

69 notes · View notes

writing-blog-iguess · 11 months

Text

Long Lost Friend

Summery: He was suppose to be dead. You watched as the building was burning, you watched as they lowered his coffin in the ground. He's dead, has been for years. So then why is he standing in your living room in a Red Hood cosplay, smiling at you like you saw each other the other day?

Warning: death, hurt/comfort

A/N: Mm, it's not exactly how I wanted this to go, but I like it. Enjoy! Feedback is always welcome.

Words: 2.3k

-----

You were tired.

After a full day of classes plus working at a coffee shop, you were done for the day. And on your way back from home all you can think about was a nice warm bath and sleep.

What you hadn’t anticipated when you opened your apartment door, was your dead best friend standing in your living room. Dressed as Red Hood, holding his signature red helmet in his hands.

“Hiya sweetheart,” he greeted with a small smile. Your arms dropped to your side, making everything fall to the ground.

“Jason?” you whispered and locked memories came rushing to the forefront of your mind without your permission.

You're eight again, racing through the streets of Gotham just trying to survive.

“Come on Y/N! If you want to stick with me, you have to keep up!”

“But I’m tired Jason!” you shouted back, almost tripping on your own feet. “And hungry! Mom said she’s making dinner for us soon.”

“We’ll go in a minute,” he called back, skidding to a halt when he finally reached his destination. You didn’t stop in time, and ran into his back almost making the two of you fall forward.

“Sorry,” you mumbled as you stepped back and stood beside him. “What are we doing here?”

“I heard Batman was fighting the Riddler here, I wanted to see them fight.”

You made a noise, turning to glare at him. And before you could say anything, the doors to the bank busted open, and you watched Batman and Riddler fight their way outside.

“One day that’s going to be me.”

“What? Be someone fighting Batman?”

“What? No, I’m going to fight beside Batman.”

You were eleven, trying to get Jason to stop, but he won’t listen.

“Jason! What are you doing?” you hissed, looking around to make sure no one saw you.

“Because everyone thinks I’m a delinquent, might as well show them they’re right,” he grunted out as he pulled down the ratchet.

“Okay, but why care about what people think?” you questioned, “why give them proof that they were right?”

“Because they are,” Jason said with a shrug.

“Okay but why feel the need to prove them?”

“Because it’s fun,” Jason said and laughed when he succeeded in taking one tire off.

Y/N made a noise of frustration and threw her arms in the air. “But, out of everything you could have done, why Batman’s car?”

“Go big or go home, right?”

“You're impossible.”

“No one said you needed to be here,” Jason pointed out, setting the tire down with a grunt.

“Someone needs to make sure you don’t get into too much trouble,” you retorted.

“I won’t, just go home Y/N. I know you have that test tomorrow you’ve been studying for.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“Okay.”

You didn’t hear from Jason the next day, or the next. You started to get worried and began searching for him after school and well into the night. But you weren’t having any luck.

It wasn’t until six months later when the new Robin appeared, did you finally get to talk to Jason.

You stared at the newest Robin blankly before promptly turning and heading towards the rooftop door. “Go away.”

“Awe come on!” Jason called, running to catch up to you. “Talk to me.”

“No, I have nothing to say.”

“Don’t you miss me?”

“No,” you said bluntly, and reached for the door handle when you stopped in front of the door. But before you could turn it and open it, Jason slid between you and the door, stopping you from leaving the roof. “Move.”

“I bet you did,” he said, ignoring the glare you sent him. “I missed you.”

“Good for you.”

“You’re mad, aren’t you?”

“Great detective skills you got there. Learn them from Batman?” you asked flatly, shooing him away from the door. He didn’t budge.

“Is that what you're mad about? That Batman was training me?”

“I’m mad because you left. I’m mad because I thought you were dead. And you didn’t say anything, or called to say you were okay. I’m mad because you're here thinking everything’s going back to normal. But you're wrong.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Okay.”

You’re fifteen, watching as the Joker is on TV laughing with a bruised-up Jason in the background.

“What do you think, Gotham? Should Robin live to see another day?” Joker asked, and laughed. “What am I saying? Of course not!”

You didn’t stay to finish the broadcast. You ran out of your house, ignoring your mom’s worried call, and ran through Gotham. You didn’t stop running until you reached the abandoned warehouse district.

Stopping in front of the fence, you huffed trying to catch your breath as you tried to figure out which one Joker was in with Jason.

You weren’t sure how long you stood there, but enough time passed that before you could move, one of the buildings blew up.

“No!” you could hear yourself scream. And that’s all it took for you to rush towards the building. But it was too late, the building was engulfed in flames and Batman stopped you from going into the building.

“Why didn’t you stop him? Where were you?!”

After that night, you don’t remember much of what happened. You faintly remember Bruce Wayne coming to your house and explaining to your parents about Jason’s death. You knew it was a lie, and you spent the entire time glaring at Bruce, hatred burning in your eyes.

You remember going after Bruce when he left your apartment. Remember seeing him tense up when you had said that Jason had looked up to him, had loved him with everything he had.

“He loved you Mr. Wayne, and you let him down,” you remember saying through the tears that streamed down your cheeks. “It’s all your fault.”

“I know,” he had whispered before climbing into his car.

You barely remembered the funeral service for Jason, but you remember the rain pouring down as you stood in front of the tombstone. Anger had swirled within you, who you were mad at you weren’t entirely sure.

“Why’d you have to do it?” you whispered, “why’d you have to leave? Fuck, Jason. I want to hate you, but I can’t. I can never stay mad at you for long. You’re not even here, yet I can still see your stupid smile when I’m trying to be mad.

“Come back? Please? I need you back.”

But there was no Jason popping out from behind the tombstone, laughing. There was no answer, only the rain that softly hit your umbrella.

“Sweetheart?” a voice called out to you, slowly bringing you out of your thoughts. You blinked a couple of times and focused your eyes on Jason. “Where’d you go?”

“Jason?” you choked out again, pinching yourself to see if you were dreaming or not. “You’re here?”

“I’m here,” he confirmed, taking a step forward. You took a step back without thought, and felt guilty when you saw hurt flash in his eyes. “It’s me, Y/N. I’m really here,” he said as he opened his arms out.

Instead of going for a hug, your eyes roamed around him. When you narrowed in on the blood that was on his jacket, you went into action. “You’re hurt,” you noted, moving around him towards the bathroom.

“Not my blood,” he said, but he followed you all the same. You shook your head, and bent down to retrieve the first aid kit you keep fully stocked.

“Don’t care,” you said, putting the kit on the counter and opening it. “Take off your jacket and sit on the toilet.”

“At least take me to dinner first before you take off my clothes,” he joked. You sent him a pointed look and gestured to the toilet before going back to the kit. “Okay, tough crowd,” he muttered before doing as he was told.

He set his jacket down on the edge of the tub before sitting down on the closed toilet seat. “So, how have you been?”

You didn’t answer, instead you turned to him with cleaning supplies. “You cut your arm,” you said bluntly and watched as he looked down.

“Well, would you look at that.”

“It might need stitches,” you noted, “may I?”

“You know how?” Jason asked, surprised at the question.

“I’m in med school, I would think I know how to stitch up a cut,” you said and waited for an answer. Stunned to silence, Jason could only nod and you set to work.

You set forward, turning him around slightly so you could get to his arm better. Satisfied that you could reach, you set to work. As you cleaned the cut, Jason turned his head slightly and watched as you worked. “It’s deeper than I thought. It’s gonna need stitches.”

After cleaning it, you set everything aside and turned to grab the needle and thread. “It’s fine if it scars,” Jason said, watching as you threaded the needle. “What’s one more scar?”

“Maybe you don’t care, but I,” you said and set to work closing the cut. “Its my work after all.”

“I suppose.”

Silence settled between the two of you, and you tried your best to ignore Jason’s stare. You could feel his eyes on your face, and you kept the questions at bay. At least until you were done.

Once you finished, you stepped back and started cleaning everything up before leaving the bathroom. “Hey!” Jason called. You rolled your eyes as you heard him scattering to leave the bathroom.

You were in the kitchen when he finally joined, and he stood in the doorway as you heated up leftovers.

“You died,” you stated, sitting by the table with a plate in front of you.

“I did,” he agreed, joining you. You watched as he ate and wondered if he had anything to eat lately. “And now I’m not.”

“How?” Jason remained quiet, making you raise an eyebrow. “Don't be shy on me now Jason. Were you really in that building? Or did you escape without me noticing?”

That got his attention. He shot his head up to look at you in thought. “You were there?”

“I wasn’t close enough for the blast to hit me, but I watched it burn,” you said looking down at your plate. “Batman had to stop me from going in to try to get to you.”

“Sorry.”

“Not your fault,” you said with a shrug. Yet a spike of anger coursed through you as you thought about that night. You were angry, at Batman, at Joker, and maybe a little at yourself. But you stamped down the feeling, you were tired of being angry. “So, what happened?”

Jason was silent for a moment before he launched into what had happened to him. He explained that Ra al Ghul, the leader of a league of assassins, had brought him back to life with something called a Lazarus pit. And that was a whole bunch of questions you had.

He explained that it had made him into a different person, so he stayed with them and trained for the last five years. He only came back to confront Bruce about it. That made him decide to do something about it, and he became Red Hood. Which would explain a lot about how low the criminal rate has gone down.

Silence settled again as you digested everything.

“I tried, you know,” you whispered. Jason looked up at you but you kept your attention on your uneaten plate.

“Tried what?”

“To kill the Joker,” you clarified. You didn’t want to look up, didn’t want to see the shock nor the disappointment in Jason’s eyes. “I have notebooks of plans I came up with over the years. They’re very detailed but I could never figure out where to get the things I need.

“And when it came down to it, I just couldn’t. Not because Batman stopped me, because I thought of you and I knew you wouldn’t want me to become that person.”

You hear a scrape of a chair before Jason was in your field of vision. He crouched down beside you, and gently grasped your chin with his forefinger and thumb. You looked down at him when he moved your head towards him.

“You’re right,” he said, wiping a few tears that escaped your notice. “I don’t want you to become that person. I still don’t. I liked who you were as kids.”

“I don’t, she was a coward,” you said, causing him to laugh.

“Yeah, but she always had my back,” he pointed out.

“She died that night you did,” you sniffled trying to stop from crying.

“But I’m here now, maybe she’s something in there too,” Jason said softly. You nodded though you didn’t have much hope that that part of you was still there. Moving his hands so he held yours, he stood up pulling you with him.

He wrapped his arms around you and you snaked your arms around his waist, burying your face in his shirt. And that’s all it took for you to break down and cry.

Jason rocked you from side to side gently as he murmured comforting words as you cried. Going as far as to say that he’s staying, that he’s not going anywhere.

After a moment, your tears turned into sniffles but the two of you didn’t move from your hug.

“Why’d you come here, Jason?” you mumbled into his shirt.

“I didn’t have anywhere else to go,” he answered and that broke your heart a little.

“Well, my door’s always open for you.”

You felt his smile through your hair, and you turned slightly so you could look at him. “What?”

“There’s my girl.” Your face turned red, and you turned away as he laughed. “She’s in there somewhere.”

“Yeah, maybe. Just don’t die again.”

“I can try not to.”

And maybe you could hope that nothing that bad could happen again. You dared to hope anyway.

#jason todd x reader #batman imagine #my writing #jason todd imagine #Jason Todd x f!reader

365 notes · View notes

promise-you-doie · 10 months

Note

i’m in love with the antinitonny, can you do long anton fic? 🥺

Memories | L. Anton

Summary: it's the last summer before you start college and you and you plan to make the most of it. Word count: 15k Pairing: Anton x Reader Genre: friends to lovers. Fluff. Angst. Suggestive. Warnings: mentions of sex, mentions of drugs and alcohol. maybe some cuss words

Youth. The stage of life where you're bound to make mistakes, and memories. You meet the people you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with, and learn valuable lessons to teach when you’re old and bound to a rocking chair.

Adults always tell you to enjoy your youth and for once you actually plan on listening to them.

“Eunseoks here.” You run down the stairs after seeing his car pull into the driveway from the window of your room. “He’s here,” You yell once again, heading towards the kitchen where your mom is.

Before you could yell again, He and Sungchan walked through the door, pulling suitcases behind them. You quickly open the fridge and pretend as if you’re completely unaware of their presence.

“Are those my boys?” Your mom asks while walking into the living room to greet them, welcoming them both with a nice warm hug. “Your sister is waiting for you in the kitchen.” You hear her say while eavesdropping on their conversation

“Doesn’t my little sister miss me?” He slightly yells as he walks into the kitchen where you are. It’s been almost 5 months since you last saw your older brother, so yes, of course you miss him. Even if he was annoying and unfun to be around.

“Oh hey, Eunseok, I didn’t know you were here.” You speak nonchalantly. “Really? I saw you peeking from the upstairs window.” He exposes you

“Uh…” You stumble to find anything to say.

“I see you still haven’t changed.” He laughs.

“Why would I change? It's only been five months.” You question while peeling the orange you pulled out of the fridge. “What have you been up to?” he asks as he takes the orange out of your hand to peel for you, because you had a habit of biting your nails so you could never tear the skin to even begin to strip the orange.

“Nothing really, I’ve just been worrying about starting college.” You sigh. “There’s nothing to worry about, You’re smart you’ll be fine. Just remember like I said, don’t fall-” “Fall into the wrong crowd and stay away from drugs.” You finish.

“See you got it.” He congratulates you by handing you back the now naked orange. Eunseok being your older brother, you always received life talks from him, even if you didn’t know what he was talking about. He took his role very seriously even though he was only 3 years older than you.

“Y/n, How are you?” Sungchan walks in thankfully to redirect the conversation from turning into another unwanted life lesson.

“Sungchan!” you gleam as you head over to him for a small hug. He was as much your friend as he was Eunseoks, the three of you grew up closely together so you could basically just consider him your other brother. “How come I don’t see your boyfriend running around here?” he asks suddenly.

“We aren’t dating, and I don’t know. I guess he’s busy today.” You shrug your shoulders. As if on cue you hear the doorbell ring and instinctively you know exactly who it is. “Y/N Anton is here.” You hear your mom yell from the living room. You find no use for either of the men in the kitchen anymore as you hurry towards the door to see your best friend of 6 years.

“Hey?” You greet him happily. “Is he here? Well I'm guessing he is. I see his car.” He says shyly

“Just come in dummy.” You roll your eyes and back up from the door so he can fully walk in. He slips his shoes off before he follows you to the kitchen. “Oh there he is.” eunseoks laughs deeply when he addresses Anton. “Hey, you’ve gotten taller?” Sungchan asks while inspecting him. “No.” Anton says, shaking his head. “Are you sure, I don’t remember you being taller than me?” Sungchan adds measuring himself against him.

“You ask this question every time you see him.” you laugh at sungchan, “That’s because he gets taller every time.” Sungchan argues back.

“Shouldn’t you know if he’s gotten taller? He’s your boyfriend.” he teases.

“We’re not dating,” You whine, but it’s not really convincing anyone.

“Yet.” He adds.

“Alright you two.” Eunseok jumps in before you could throw anything at him, like you always do whenever you start arguing with him. “Eunseok, do you know you’re the best brother in the world.” You smile sweetly at him, buttering him up with your fluttering eyelashes.

“What do you want?”

“The keys to your car.” You say without any spaces, still fluttering your eyelashes and holding your hands together. “Pretty pretty please.” You add hoping to persuade him. And you know you’ve done it because he rolls his eyes and pulls the keys out of pocket to dangle them on top of your palms that you have held out for him.

“No-”

“Texting and driving, yes I know.” You say before he tries and sneak in yet another unsolicited life lesson. “And-” “call you if anything happens.” You say in monotone looking off to the side. “Hmm, Maybe I shouldn’t give them to you.” he begins but you stop him to beg. “No please please, I’ll call you if anything happens and I’ll keep my eyes on the road, I won’t even blink.” You plead.

“Woah, but if you don’t blink your eyes will get dry and then yo-” “Shut up idiot.” You slap his arm and turn back to eunseok. “I’ll be careful, I promise.”

“FIne.” he says before he places the keys into your hands. “I expect to see my car in one piece when I wake up in the morning.” “Yes sir.” You nod your head, before grabbing Antons arm and pulling him out of the door.

The two of you end up in a random parking lot staring up at the stars. It’s silent for the first few moments. The only thing playing is the slow music coming from inside the car. There’s not really anything to say, with you and Anton being friends for so long you found that the both of you already knew everything there was to know about each other.

So silences like this were comforting to you. Just being in each other's presence was enough for the both of you. “I love this song.” you say quietly.

“Are you scared?” He ask randomly completely catching you off guard,

“Scared of what?” You finally turn to him. “I don't know, we'll be starting college soon, and I know things are gonna change, I’m just worried we’re gonna grow apart.” He explains.

“We thought this same thing about highschool, and besides look at sungchan and eunseok. They’re still really close.” You say trying to calm his worries.

“But they’re both guys. What happens when we start dating people? And we don’t have time for each other.” He continues, “I don’t know, I’m probably just overthinking.”

“How about this,” You say sitting up to show that you were serious about what you were going to say next. “We make every second of this summer count, that way if college does draw us apart, We’ll still always have memories together.”

“Deal.” He says as he smiles and links his pinky with yours.

The best way to make memories is to try something you’ve never tried before, and something that neither you or Anton have ever tried was alcohol. So that seemed like the perfect place to start. Now there was a small dilemma with this, no one in your family were drinkers. So the chances of you getting access to alcohol was extremely slim.

Luckily you had a plan.

“Where are we supposed to get fake IDs from?” Anton asks when you explain to him how the both of you were going to sneak into a bar down in the city. “Where else?” You respond with a smirk that he finds both scary and intriguing.

“Oh hey sungchan.” You say casually as you waltz into the kitchen. “sup.” he bobs his head towards you.

“just out of peak curiosity, you wouldn’t know where to get an ID would you?”

“i might know someone, depending on who’s asking.” he cocks an eyebrow up to you.

“Anton and I just need one for this event that’s happening downtown. Do you think you can get it to us by next week?”

“I can get it to you by tomorrow.” he says

“But Eunseok can’t find out about this.” you make it clear. “Of course not, do you think I'm crazy?” he asks, which warrants you to give him a knowing look. Wondering why’d he’d even ask that question as he was promising to get fake IDs to two 19 year olds.

“Don’t answer that.”

“When are you gonna start packing up?” Anton asks, looking around at your overly decorated room. There isn’t one empty space on your wall yet you always find space to hang up another poster.

“I don’t know, I might just do what Eunseok did and leave all of this stuff here.”

“Are you sure you can live without your collection?” He asks, pointing to the books you started collecting in middle school and were still accumulating.

“No, those are coming with me.”

“You know, you’re gonna have to move this stuff out eventually right?”

“I know, I’m just not ready to see this room empty again.” You ponder while looking around the room. Something about it just gave you extreme nostalgia, this is where you grew up. This is where you had your first sleepover and where you went when you had your first “heartbreak.” (You sat in your room and cried for days because you didn’t get tickets to see your favorite band.)

So seeing your room empty would really make things reality for you. Things really are changing, time is passing you by and you’re getting older.

“Special delivery.” You don’t have to check to know exactly who’s standing on the other side of the door. Sungchan lets himself in, just as he always does. Butting into your room as if it was his own. “Look what I got?” he holds up a yellow envelope right in front of your eyes.

“What is it?” Anton asks, walking up next to you.

“It’s our ID’s” you answer

“Our fake ones?”

“Shh” you and sungchan both shush him at the same time, and you hurry to close the door before Eunseok could hear anything.

“show me the stuff.” you whisper when Sungchan pulls out the ID and shows it to the both of you.

“Rachel owens?” you ask, looking at your ID. “You can’t reveal your real name. Quickest way to get caught.” he explains

“Okay but I don't know how believable Brad Murray is.” Anton says, still looking at the hard plastic card. “what are they gonna do, tell you you’re wrong.” Sungchan responds

“I don’t know, this whole idea just seems wrong. Maybe we should just wait till we’re of age to drink.” Anton says and it causes you and Sungchan to burst out into a laugh.

“Wait till we’re of age?” you laugh, slapping sungchans arm “Who does this kid think he is?” Sungchan adds.

“Exactly that, a kid. We’re both kids, and we should just be kids.”

“Fine, I'll just go by myself then.” you throw your hands up and head downstairs with sungchan following you and leaving Anton alone.

“I’m gonna head out.” You say casually passing by your mom and brother.

“you’re leaving, and you didn’t ask for my car?” Eunseok asks

“I won’t need it tonight, I'm taking an uber.”

“an uber, where are you going?” Eunseok asks, stepping up to you. “we’re going to catch a movie, but it’s pretty long so we’ll probably be tired on the way back.” Anton answers for you, thankfully because you were going to just tell him that you were going grocery shopping.

“Oh, Anton's going with you? enjoy your movie then.” You see that Eunseok loosens up when he realizes that Anton's tagging along with you and it makes you question. “Wait why'd you do that?” you turn to Eunseok

“Do what?”

“how come you didn’t ask questions when Anton said he was coming with me?”

“Because I trust anton.”

“you don’t trust me?” You ask genuinely but Anton doesn’t let you stick around to find out the answer because he’s dragging you out of the door. “I don't think he trusts me.” you say again

“he doesn’t, no one does.” Anton states before turning around, closing the door.

“You don’t trust me?” You ask repeatedly, still confused.

“no, that’s why I'm not letting you go out alone.”

you would argue more about how trustworthy you were but you knew that everything you were planning to say would have just been a lie. So you just get in the uber next to Anton and keep your mouth closed the entire ride.

well for most of the ride. “So why don’t you trust me?” you ask when everyone’s dead silent. “We’re going to a bar with Fake IDs. and whose idea was this?” he states and it pretty much sums up everything for you

“That's fair.” you shake your head

“Why do I let you drag me into these kinds of things?” He looks out of the window and you turn to him. “You dragged yourself into this.”

“I miss when we used to stay up playing mario kart, now we’re sneaking out to bars.” He sighs dramatically

“We just played mario karts an hour ago.” you remind him

“and i wanna go back.”

“I didn't force you to come with me anton.”

“as the oldest of the two of us, it’s my duty to make sure that you’re safe.”

“you’re only older by a few weeks.” you say

“I still need to make sure you stay safe.”

“If I wanted a bodyguard I would’ve just invited eunseok.”

“Alright then, let’s call him up.” Anton says as he pulls out his phone to call your brother. Before he even unlocks it you feel your heart drop and you smack the phone out of his hand causing it to drop on the floor.

He looks at the phone then he looks at you. “Why would you do that?”

"If Eunseok finds out about this he’ll kill me. I’ll never be allowed to touch his car again, he’ll never shut up about it. he’ll make me show up to college wearing a shirt that says, “I’m an underage drinker.” he’ll ground me for years.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you decided to go out and get us fake IDs.” He snaps back while bending over to pick his phone up off the floor.

“I just want us to do something different and new. Before we lose each other forever.” You force your voice to get lower, knowing that he’ll feel bad and lay off your case.

“We won’t lose each other forever, we’ll always be friends.”

“But we won’t be best friends. We've always wanted to get drunk together, this might be the last time we ever get to do that.” You mumble while looking out the window for dramatic effect.

“We’ve never talked about getting drunk together.”

“But we’ve always thought about it.”

“I’ve always thought about playing mario karts for 24 hours straight.”

Hearing his response catches you off guard, you completely forget that you were trying to emotionally manipulate him out of snitching to Eunseok. He notices when you slowly turn your head and side eye him. “Mario Karts?”

“You know what, maybe it’s a good thing we aren’t gonna be friends for long.” You add before he can say anything.

“This is why your brother trusts me more than he trust you.” he spits back

“You think that’s a flex? it just makes you boring.”

“You think I’m boring?" He asks aggressively.

‘I do. We all do.”

“Who’s we?” he pipes up.

“Me, sungchan, the uber driver.” You suddenly point to the man who’s been minding his business throughout the whole ride.

“You think I’m boring?” Anton looks away from you and to the man. “I don’t know you, but you sound very unfun to be around.” The unnamed speaks calmly while keeping his eyes on the road.

“Unfun?” Anton asks again.

“That’s what he said.” you chuckle

“I’m not unfun!” He pouts, leaning back in his seat with his arms crossed. You’re too amused to really argue back with him.

The rest of the car goes quiet yet again until Anton speaks up once more. “I hope you can hold your alcohol because I won't be carrying you back home.”

“I can hold my alcohol” you say confidently although you’re really unsure, since you’ve never had any alcoholic drinks.

The line to the club is just like you saw in the movies. It’s so long you think about just turning around and going back but Anton is still on his quest to prove just how fun he is, which is why he forces you to stand in the line with him. Until the both of you are face to face with a 7-foot-tall security guard who looks like he eats 5 dozen raw eggs and a horse for breakfast.

“IDs.” is all he says but it has your heart beating outside of your chest. Both of you are hesitant to pull out the fakes you have in your wallet. Yet, you still pull yours out first and show it to the man, Anton following your lead.

“This looks like a fake.” he says bluntly.

“A fake? ID? I didn’t even know those were real things.”

“Obviously they're not real, that’s the problem.” Anton begins to start yet another argument with you; however he’s quickly hushed when the security guard yells “Brad.” and Anton begins looking around trying to find out who he’s talking about. To which you just facepalm and whisper “He’s talking to you idiot.”

“Oh right, I’m Brad. Brad Murray, that’s me.” he straightens up.

It’s painfully obvious that the both of you are lying that you don’t even try to hide it anymore. With the security guard looking down at both of you, you’re sure he’s gonna turn you away but he just sighs and passes your IDs back.

“They don’t pay me enough for this.” he mumbles as he opens the rope to let you and Anton in. The music aggressively meets your ears before you even walk into the building. And you can smell the extreme scents of alcohol and whatever it is that people are doing inside of the place.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” stop in front of Anton, contemplating just going home. “Do you wanna go home?” He asks, and something about hearing him say makes you realize that’s not what you want to do. So you grab his hand and guide him all the way into the club where you could fully hear the music.

It’s so loud that you can feel it through your feet. There's so much going on you don’t even know where to start, and the flashing lights are starting to make you dizzy. But it all excites you, the music, the lights, the alcohol everything is so exciting to you.

“Let’s get drunk.” You yell to Anton first, but you don’t get a chance to go anywhere because he’s pulling you back by the hand that you still have intertwined with him. “Call me boring and unfun but I still don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Well then you don’t have to drink.” You state before attempting to walk away again but he just pulls you right back, not letting you step away. “I don’t want you to either.”

“Okay I won’t.”

“You promise?” he holds his pinky finger out to you, but you only stare at it. Pinky promises were very dear to the both of you, in the 6 years that you’ve been friends neither of you have ever broken a pinky promise. And You knew that if you made this promise, you very well didn’t have the intentions on keeping it.

“I promise.” You say looking off to the side, and failing to link pinkies with his.

It doesn’t go unnoticed by him as he nudges his finger out to you so you can solidify the promise. “Come one Anton, just this one time.” Staring at him until he finally gives in and sighs.

“Only one drink.’ He states firmly holding up his index finger to really drive his point. “Okay, fine. Only one.”

30 minutes had passed and you had drunk way more than the both of you agreed on, in fact you had sweet talked some random man at the bar into paying for your drinks. Completely missing the look that Anton gives you every time you take another sip.

Despite his annoyance with you, he still hasn’t let go of your hand. No matter how many times you tried to yank your hand away from him. Or tried talking and flirting with guys around you. He’d just pull you back towards him and claim you as his girlfriend so they wouldn’t try and take the initiative to flirt back.

“Isn’t this fun?” you slur resting your face against his back because you had lost your balance to stand up straight. “Are you having fun?” he asks, flipping the question back around on you.

“Mm hmm.” You bounce your head up and down. “Lots of fun.”

“How much have you had to drink?” He asks, already knowing the answer but wanting to make sure that you were keeping up with the amount of alcohol you were consuming. “I had umm 3.” you stumble in front of him and hold three fingers up with a big smile.

“No, you had this many.” He corrects while pulling up 7 more of your fingers.

“10?”

“It’s time to get you home.”

“I’m not ready to go home.” you state while trying to wobble away from him, when you do you walk face first into some random man's chest and giggle when you fall into his arms. “Hi, wow you’re tall.”

Anton thinks about just leaving you to face your own consequences but quickly changes his mind once he notices the strange man's hand placements and weird smile. There weren’t enough signs to show that he had bad intentions until he slipped his hands over your back jeans pockets and whispered something in your ear. That’s when Anton finally made the decision to jump in.

“Sorry about her, she’s really drunk right now.” Anton politely speaks while pulling one of your arms so you could go back towards him.

“She doesn’t seem too drunk.” The man says with his arm loosely around your waist.

“She’s 19.” Anton adds hoping that it’d be enough to pull the man off of you.

“Even better.”

He had to protect you, that’s what he kept telling himself the whole ride home. He did it to protect you, any other normal person would’ve also resorted to violence if their best friend was being inappropriately touched by a man almost twice her age.

He shouldn’t really feel bad, he knew you weren’t gonna remember anything when you woke up in the morning. You weren’t gonna remember how many drinks you had, or how you got home. And you definitely weren’t gonna remember how his knuckles got all bloody and bruised.

You turn onto your side and curve into a ball when he lays his blanket over top of you. It’s pretty dark but he can still make out small features of your face, and he can see when you open your eyes slightly to look at him.

“Go to sleep.” he says, but you just kinda smile.

“You’re really cute,” you say with a raspy voice, your eyes are too heavy to keep open but you try to do so anyways. Just so you can keep looking at the pretty soft spoken boy in front of you.

“I am so gonna make fun of you for this tomorrow.” He laughs but you don’t respond. You’ve already fallen back asleep and it doesn’t take too long for him to do the same, laying right beside you but leaving enough room in between the both of you.

When you wake up in the morning you feel an immense amount of pain coming from all over your body. You feel like you’ve been hit by a bus, or maybe even something bigger. A train. You don’t really have the strength to get up from your bed so you don’t even try. You just roll over and stare at the light blue painted walls.

It takes a good 2 minutes for you to realize that your walls aren’t blue, and that the large panda teddy bear sitting on your bed isn’t yours. In fact this bed isn’t yours either. This is when you finally gain enough strength to finally sit up, and look around. Seeing that this isn’t your room at all. Who’s room is it? You’re not sure. It looks very familiar like you should know but you really don’t.

In the time it takes to find out whose bed you're in, Anton walks in with a big warm bowl of your favorite oatmeal. “You’re awake.” He says when he sits down on the bed beside you.

“Unfortunately.” you take a breath of relief when you see his face.

“I made you oatmeal.” He places the bowl in front of you.

“Thanks.”

“Sorry I didn’t take you home, I figured you wouldn’t want your brother to see you drunk.”

“Was I that bad?” Your voice is still strained from the night before

“Yes.”

“Did I do anything weird?” you ask but you don’t know if you’re ready to hear the answer.

“You said I was cute.”

“You?”

“Trust me it was weird for both of us.” He lies.

“Let’s just pretend like last night never happened. I’m never touching an alcoholic beverage ever again.” You state while mixing up your oatmeal.

“Promise.” Anton asks with his pinky out towards you.

“I promise.” You make sure you seal the deal this time, looping your pinky around his and rocking your hand a little to show you were very serious.

“Good. cause it sucked having to carry you home.” He adds when you begin eating the oatmeal.

“You carried me?”

“Well how do you think you got here?” He questions, through his smile

“I’m still sobering up, my thinking skills aren’t up to date.”

“You know something, you’re actually kinda cute when you’re drunk.”

“Shut up.” you scream covering your ears so you don’t have to hear anything else he says.

You finally go back to your own home when the sun sets. That’s when you feel that you’re sober enough to face your brother without being suspicious. Although no matter how sober you are, you’re always gonna be suspicious around him.

“You’re back finally. How was the movie?” Eunseok greets you when you first walk in.

“Movie?” you question, so Anton answers for you.

“It was good for me atleast, but she fell asleep through most of it.”

“Oh, you guys went to a movie? That’s very romantic.” Sungchan asks as he walks into the living room stuffing his face with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Despite knowing that there wasn’t any movie.

Neither of you take the time to argue with him. But it doesn't stop him from continuing.

"Did you hold hands?"

“No!” you finally answer him, and you expect Anton to do the same but he only snickers behind you, leaving you to defend yourself.

“I'm glad you guys enjoyed your date, go start packing so we can head to dads old cabin” Eunseok casually jokes, and it almost irritates you

“It wasn't a date.” you stomp but it doesn’t help you at all because they all laugh when your voice squeaks.

“Is that why you’re wearing his shirt?” Sungchan points out

you look down at the extremely oversized Harley davidson graphic tee that you have on. there isn’t even any explanation for this, sure you could tell them the truth. that you threw up all over your own clothes so he gave you his as a replacement. but it was probably best that you didn’t let your anger get the best of you this time.

So you proceed to change the subject instead. “We’re going to the cabin?”

“Yeah, we’re driving out there tonight. So hurry.” He rushes you.

The cabin belonged to your dad before he died, he liked it because it was hidden in the woods. Away from the city that your mom loved so much. It balanced perfectly because it was a 30 minute ride away from the house and he enjoyed a good drive.

He’d often go out there on the weekends with Eunseok and go fishing. While you stayed with your mom and visited the small boutiques nearby. That’s what influenced your father to leave the cabin to Eunseok seeing that he’d probably get more use out of it than you would.

The cabin was pretty outdated but it had enough room for the four of you to stay for a few nights. You weren’t too fond of the old place but what you did like was the lake in the back. You liked the way it mirrored the sky during sunrises. Or the way the moon reflected off the ripples of the water.

“okay so here are the rules.” Eunseok begins but he doesn’t get to finish because the rest of you are already grunting aloud.

“alright alright, I won’t go over the rules. because I assume all of us are adults and we would know how to behave ourselves.”

“Great, I'm sharing the room with Anton.” you call dibs by looping your arm around him and pulling him closer to you.

“you guys are never beating the dating allegations.” Sungchan mutters at how tightly you have your arm around Anton’s.

“You'll never kiss a girl in your life.” you spit at him

“At least my only love interest isn’t my best friend.” He gestures quotations around the word best friend.

“Okay okay.” Eunseok holds his hands out to stop an argument from growing. “It looks like we definitely need to go over the rules.”

“no need.” Anton speaks up. “we’ll be behaved.”

“Yes we will.” you add, resting your head on Anton’s shoulder to block out the faces that Sungchan makes to you from behind Eunseok.

“and you?” your brother turns to his friend.

“I'll be good.” He turns his attention away from you the second Eunseok looks at him.

“Alright, then we’ll call it a night.” Eunseok doesn’t expect for any of you to say anything else, so he walks away to his shared room with Sungchan and leaves you alone with Anton.

“We should go swimming.” you whisper when you’re sure Eunseok can’t hear you.``it’s 11 pm.” Anton tries to stop you.

“even better.”

“You can’t swim,” he tries again but it still doesn’t work.

he should’ve known better by now. This was the dynamic of your friendship. You'd come up with a crazy idea and he'd try to talk you out of it but fails every time.

You ease your way into the lake taking one step after another. The water is cold but the heat from the summer night helps your body adjust easily the more you walk in. Trying not to slip on the rocks until your body is completely submerged under water. your feet are still grounded so it helps keep your head at the water's surface.

“feels good.” you say looking up to Anton who isn’t convinced.

“If you drown, I'm not jumping in to save you.” he confirms with his arms crossed against his chest.

“I'm not gonna drown.” You continue swimming around

“good cause i’m not gonna save you.”

“You should get in.”

“It’s dark, there’s probably snakes in there,” It’s obvious that he wants to but he refuses. instead taking a seat on the dock where the little old is so that he could just watch you swim by yourself.

which you do for a while, pushing your arms around you to keep yourself afloat. There’s nobody to accompany the two of you other than the singing owls and blue white light of the moon.

“You’re so boring.”

“That's not gonna work this time, the last time you tried that trick I had to fight some guy.”

“you fought someone?” you ask trying to float back

“It wasn't a real fight, I just punched him a few times. I don’t really know if I could call it a fight because he didn’t hit back. well, he didn’t get the chance to.”

He begins to start mumbling to himself and misses the fact that you haven’t been responding. When he finally notices and looks up in your direction, all he can see is your hands waving in the air as if you need help.

but you always play stupid tricks like these so he just laughs at you, assuming that this was another one of your pranks. “I'm not falling for that.”

“you’re a bad actor.” he continues to laugh at how committed you seem to be to this bit. However after 12 seconds he observes that you’ve been underwater for some time. which starts to worry him.

“Y/n?” he calls out just once, and immediately jumps in when you don’t respond. Swimming right to you and picking you up in his arms so you can catch some air first. You have to cough the water out of your lungs before you could even get a breath of air. Chest heaving up and down and your eyes closed tightly shut as she swims you back to the dock and sits you down.

You’re still coughing when he pulls himself out of the lake to sit down beside you and make sure you’re okay, which he had already told you he wasn’t going to do. And he doesn’t just stop there. He leaves you by yourself for a little bit, but only to go get a few towels that he can wrap around you and dry you off himself.

Almost drowning takes a lot of your energy, so you don’t do anything to help him help you; you just stare at him while he takes the towel to dry your hair. Neither one of you says anything for a while until he carries you back into the cabin and lays you down on your side of the bed.

“Now you’re gonna have dreams about drowning.” He laughs and sit up to dry himself off.

“I wasn’t drowning, I was just trying to do a cartwheel underwater.” you lie, leaned back against the pillow and watching him remove his extremely soaked shirt.

“Sure you were.”

“I really was.” You try to defend yourself again, but he still doesn’t believe you. It’s no use acknowledging that he literally saved your life because even though you were very grateful, you already knew he would, and also, this was going to be something else that he’s never going to shut up about.

“What would you do without me?”

“You might’ve saved my life once...”

“twice.” he corrects

“don’t flatter yourself.” you smile, gently smacking his arm.

Anton wakes up in the morning to find that you’re sitting by the window, staring at the way the sunrise shines off the lake. Your chin is rested on your knees, which are pressed to your chest and chained together by your arms.

“You’re up early." Anton crawls to the part of the bed where you are and sits beside you, close enough for you to lay your head on his arm. “I love the sunsets up here.” You speak low enough for it to be classified as a whisper.

He hums to show that he acknowledges what you have said. But there is just something about sitting in silence with each other that both of you love. Nothing has to be said, and there aren’t even any thoughts. But just knowing that he’s there right next to you is more comforting than anything else in the world.

“Wait, did you really fight someone?” You question, suddenly lifting your head from his arm.

“It’s no big deal.” He brushes off, however you don’t buy it as you angle your entire body towards him. “Anton, you could’ve died.”

“No, actually I- wait what are you trying to say?”

“You can’t fight, even I can pin you down.”

“That’s because I always let you win.”

“Sure.” you say rolling your eyes.

“I can prove it.” he stands up in front of you. As if he’s actually ready to start a wrestling match.

“There’s no—" You don’t get to say anything because he’s begun playfully attacking you. “You don’t have to prove anything,” you yell in your defense while still putting all your force into holding him down, just as you always do.

Yet this time is different, and you realize that when he hovers over top of you with both of your arms pinned to the bed right above your head. You weakly try to pull yourself out, but it doesn’t work. And then you make the mistake of looking up at him, your heart jumping when you do.

His face is unusually close to yours, so close that you stop breathing and feel like you have nowhere else to look but at him. Both of you are too stunned to say anything at first, and when you finally take the initiative to speak first, it comes out almost in a whisper.

“Okay you win.”

“Yeah.” He says looking away from your eyes and down at your lips.

“So you can get off of me now.” You say once again trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach and the underlying urge to see if his lips feel as soft as they look.

“Yeah, sorry.” he mutters while rolling off of you and taking a seat besides you, neither of you say it but you both make a mental note to never speak of that interaction again.

“Are you hungry?” he asks while avoiding eye contact.

“A little, I’ll go see If Eunseok is awake.” You say quickly jumping off the bed and running towards the door.

It’s night two of three, when you walk into the room where Anton is seated on the bed trying to get through a 3 minute video, that seems longer because it won’t stop buffering every 10 seconds due to the very bad wifi connection.

You turn and lock the door behind you before getting Antons attention. “Wanna try this?” You ask, holding up the plate of brownies.

“A brownie? Sure.”

“No but it’s not any brownie, It’s a magical brownie.” you add, to make sure that he knew what he was getting himself into. “Magical? Like Jack's magical beans?” He asks while reaching for a brownie.

“No you idiot, they’re edibles.”

“Where’d you even get these from?” He asks.

“Sungchan gave them to me.” You answer while splitting the brownie and passing the smaller half to him.

“He said we shouldn’t eat the whole thing.” You add before taking a bite and watching him take his.

“But why would he give us four of them if we can’t eat the whole thing?” Anton asks

“Maybe I heard him wrong.” You think aloud.

By the time you finished eating all of the brownies you definitely felt the effects. Sitting legs crossed in front of Anton and just staring at him until you swore you could see his thought bubbles. “You know something…” You say leaning in closer to him, still analyzing the small features of his face.

“You have a really big nose.” You finish while tilting your head to the side.

“You have really pretty eyes.” He combats

“Okay.” You say ignoring his complement. Walking on your knees to sit directly on his lap.

“What are you doing?” He’s confused but his hands go directly to your waist to keep you bound. “Let’s have sex.” You say.

“What?”

“You don’t wanna go into college a virgin do you?” You try to convince him.

“I’m not a virgin.” He states questionably. So questionably that if you didn’t already know, you would’ve known from his tone alone that he was in fact a virgin.

“Yeah right.”

“I’m not.” He lies again.

“Shut up and kiss me.” You yell and he obeys, well partly. He only places a small kiss on your lips and finishes with a pat using the tips of his fingers.

“Wow?” you mutter

“I know, I’m a great kisser.” He boast on himself

“No, You suck.”

“Like you know? You’ve never kissed anyone.”

“No, but I know that’s not how you do it.” You say still sitting in his lap with your hands on each of his shoulders.

“Well you show me how it’s done.” just as fast as he finishes your lips are on his.

Giving him your first kiss and initiating a 30 minute make out session. Until you both fall asleep on the floor, with you wrapped in his arms.

Falling asleep in his arms wasn’t new. You’d done it plenty of times. however, in those many times, you were completely sober. So you never had to question whether or not you guys had sex.

You’re not naked, you know that much. so that must mean that nothing happened. but you very much remember telling him that you guys should have sex, and your last memory of the night was making out on the floor until you started to think that you might actually like him as more than a friend.

“we didn’t… do anything right?” you ask sitting up and looking back down at him.

“I don't remember.” he replies

“Neither do i.”

“The edibles aren’t supposed to plague or memory right?”

“I don't think so.”

and then it goes silent for a minute. right before the both of you start arguing.

“we had sex, oh my god i can’t believe i had sex with you.” you get up and start pacing

“Well you’re the one who came up with the idea.”

“I was high! plus you agreed. Why did you agree?”

“I was also high.”

“our friendship is ruined, we can’t ever speak to each other again.”

“Wait. really?” he pauses to look at you.

“don’t you understand what this means? we’ll fall in love with each other. it’s inevitable. there’s no solution.”

“We could just date.” he blurts out and stares at you as if he’s waiting for a legitimate answer.

“Why would we do that?” You say after staring at him in silence.

“doesn’t it just make sense?” he throws his hands up.

“no it doesn’t, we don’t like each other.”

“Well, what do you suggest?” He plops down on the bed.

“We should forget about it.”

To make matters worse, sungchan walks in right when you’ve started to calm yourself down about the idea of ruining your friendship.

“oh by the way i forgot to warn you guys, the brownies are high in… something that makes you horny. but you don’t have to worry about it, you guys are immune to that stuff.”

“yeah… we don’t have to worry about it.” You try to convince him but it doesn’t work.

“You had sex didn’t you?”

“no.” “yes.” you and Anton say at the exact same time, turning to look at each other before changing your answers.”yes.” “no”

“We don't know.” you answer solo this time. “I remember suggesting it and then we… I don't wanna talk about it.”

“Well, there’s only one thing left to do now.” Sungchan walks in fully and closes the door behind him. you don’t know what he’s about to say but you know it’s serious. “You have to date now.”

“That's what I was saying.” Anton says, throwing his arms up.

“No.” You turn and point your index finger to him and then back to Sungchan. “No.”

“No, we’ll just pretend like nothing happened, and Eunseok will never ever find out about this.”

Your plan to keep Eunseok from finding out wasn’t particularly solid. You walk out to the living space where he’s setting out the dishes for breakfast. He's not the best cook but it’s at least edible, sometimes. you’d usually tease him about it, but you’re caught completely off guard when he goes “there you guys are, I was worried something happened with all the noise you were making last night.”

“uh…” Anton stumbles across his words, he’s standing like a deer stuck in headlights.

“We were practicing, hand…stands.” You start to think of a lie to explain the noise he heard yesterday.

“Handstands?” Eunseok doesn’t even look at you.

“He doesn’t know how to do a handstand.” you say pointing to Anton.

“That’s a relief I thought you were doing something else.” He still isn’t facing you. But he knew the exact reaction he was gonna get from you.

“Something else?”

“He’s a boy, you’re a girl. You like boys, he likes girls.” He explains.

“We didn’t have sex.” You blurt out suspiciously

“I didn’t say you did.”

“But if we did.” Anton speaks up, despite the looks that you're shooting him from the corner of your eye to signal him to shut up.

“What would you suggest?” he continues

“Well then, you would just have to date.” Eunseok finally turns around to face you. Warranting your heart to drop to your stomach. You think you might just shit yourself right there. “But that’s just hypothetical of course.” he adds.

“We wouldn’t have to date. We could let it go and act like we never did it.”

“That wouldn’t work, the second you two even share a kiss you’re bound to fall in love.” Eunseok says.

That exact statement circulates your mind the entire day. You couldn’t fall in love with Anton, it just wouldn’t make sense. You don’t even see him that way, and you don’t imagine you ever will.

The rest of the day goes by and you’re still thinking about what may or may not have happened between you and your best friend last night. Keeping a safe distance just in case. Although it definitely seems to bother you more than it bothered him, because while you were still racking your brain of everything that happened the night prior, he’s just sitting in the corner of the room playing Mario karts.

“I think I just need to sleep.” You say heading towards the bed.

“I think that’s a good idea, I'm getting tired too.” he gets up to stretch before walking to the bed behind you.

“what are you doing?” you stop to ask

“I'm going to bed.” He says casually, staring at you as if he truly couldn’t understand why you’d be so hostile about him sleeping in the same bed as you.

“We can't sleep in the same bed.” You shake your head

“Why not? We sleep together all the time.”

“Don’t! say that.” you shush him with your index finger. “Okay, you take the bed, and I'll go take the couch.”

“The bed is big enough for both of us.” He looks at you when you walk closer towards the door.

“Why are you making this so hard?” You facepalm

“I'm just trying to get some sleep, you’re the one making this hard.”

You take a deep breath before speaking again, whispering as if someone could hear you through the walls. "What if we… again.”

“if we?” He asks

“You know, what if we..” you hold your hands up to make sexual gestures just so he’d understand what you were finally getting to. Yet he’s still staring at you like he just doesn't get it.

“What if we have sex again Anton, what if we have sex.” you finally just say throwing your arms down in frustration.

And you bicker for a good 15 more minutes until you finally cave in and just take the bed. His winning argument being that it’s hard for him to sleep alone since he didn’t have his stuffed panda with him. To which you replied, “You should’ve grown out of that phase years ago.” While still stuffing yourself under the sheets besides him.

September 6th 2015, is the exact date you met Anton. You remember because you still have the initial test that you copied off of him. It was the first time you’d ever made a perfect score on a test, and while you were proud of yourself your mom grew very suspicious.

You knew him before then, but you never thought to speak to him until he caught you cheating off his paper and threatened to tell the teacher. Leaving you with no other choice but to bribe him with dinosaur chicken nuggets. Which honesty was a win for you because your mom loved to pack them for you for lunch and you just didn’t have the heart to tell her that you hated them.

Since then, the two of you were attached at the hip, navigating both middle school and high school together.

You liked to remind yourself of that often, it made you feel better about the rest of life. Because you were soon to be an adult and it was horrifying to you. Even though you had your mom, your brother and Sungchan. It’s just reassuring to know that you had Anton, who was equally as scared as you were.

Listening to music through your black headphones, you sat in your room. The one place in the whole world where you could truly feel at ease. Where your walls are plastered with posters and your bed is never made. You were lucky to spend less than 5 minutes searching for anything within the 4 corners of your own space. But you loved it nonetheless.

You tried to listen to anything that would take your mind off of the event that happened over the weekend, however you were shit out of luck because every song on your playlist either talked about kissing or directly described the friends to lover's pipeline.

Throwing your headphones off, you huff and throw yourself back to stare at the ceiling. Dragging both of your hands down your face. Your friendship with Anton was easily one of the best things you had in your life and you were actively ruining it.

This is actually extremely stressful.

Usually when things got this stressful, you’d go to your loyal confidant, but since you couldn’t go to him you go to the internet instead. crawling towards your laptop to look up advice from others who had gone too far with their best friend.

There were over 7,340,000 results, in which you had rapidly read through at least a hundred of them. There’s all different answers ranging from “there’s no way to mend the friendship.” to “the awkward sexual makes it too hard to bear, the only solution is to cut them off.” Each website you click on makes your gut feel like it’s turning inside out.

The thought of having to lose Anton as a friend makes your heart feel like it’s getting stomped on by a 10 foot giant. Your eyes are flooding with tears thinking about the small irrevocable mistake that the both of you shared when you weren’t in the right state of mind.

Until you click on one last link that catches your attention.

“Just continue seeing each other as friends, overtime it’ll sort itself out.”

Just seeing the words on your screen alone is enough to feel like a nice warm hug. Drying your eyes and reading the message over until you finally start to believe that everything is actually gonna be okay.

You get up off your bed when someone gently knocks at your door, you know who it is because it’s the only person who ever knew to knock.

“Come in.” You try to mask the sorrow in your voice, and it works just barely enough for Eunseok to not catch on.

“Hey, just wondering if you're gonna come down for dinner.” He says only peeking through the doorway. “Yeah, I’ll be down there soon.” You begin to start looking around your bed for absolutely nothing, just so he couldn’t see how red and puffy your eyes were while crying.

“Okay, don’t be long. Also, Antons's downstairs waiting for you.” He adds.

“Antons here.” You quickly turn around to face him, no longer caring if he could tell that you had been sobbing just a few minutes before. Something about just hearing his name causes your heart to beat faster and your lips to turn up into a smile.

“Oh wait, he's right here.” Eunseok says backing up so your closest friend could walk in behind him. He could immediately tell you had been crying, you knew he could. Because his soft smile drops into an expression of empathy, but not yet saying anything until he knew that you had the room to yourselves.

“I’ll leave you guys, but don’t forget to come eat dinner with us.” He says once more before he closes the door. Giving you the privacy Anton’s been waiting for.

“Were you crying?” he asks, already knowing the answer.

“No.” You lie.

“I didn’t mean to bother you, I got a little nervous when you hadn’t texted me at all-.” He stops his rambling when you take a seat on your bed and look up at him. He thinks you’re about to cry again but you're just happy to see that nothing has changed between the both of you.

“I was just scared that we were gonna lose our friendship.” You mumble just a little.

“We’ve gone through worse, like the time that I pretended to forget your birthday and you stopped talking to me for a whole month.” he kneels in front of you so you don’t have to look up at him.

The memory makes you laugh a little. Remembering how upset you were, and how he baked you a homemade cake just to get you to forgive him.

“Could you just promise me that no matter what we’ll always be friends.” You ask, your voice still a little shaky from your crying session. Pinky held out towards him because you know that under no circumstance will the promise be broken.

“I promise that we’ll be best friends forever.” He links his pinky onto yours, but it doesn’t last for long because you’re already throwing your arms around him to engulf him in a big hug.

topping him over a little as he softly laughs.

“But, we should probably lay off the edibles and do something normal.” He waits until you’re pulled away from and seated back onto your bed. “like a movie.” he suggests

“deal,” You nod.

If it were anyone else, this would be considered a date. It had the same feel as a date, you’re sitting in your room trying to find an appropriate outfit and fix your hair. When Sungchan yells from downstairs. “Y/n your boyfriends here.” Causing you to glance in the mirror once more before you run down the stairs to meet him.

Neither of you care to argue with Sungchan, only paying attention to each other. “You look really pretty.” Anton speaks first, looking down at you. “Thanks.” you smile at him, but the smile doesn’t do justice to the fluttering butterflies that you feel in your stomach.

“Here’s the keys.” Eunseok places them into your hand without you even having to ask. “Really.” you tame yourself from jumping up and down.

“Don’t be out too late, and don’t crash my car.” He states, pointing his index finger at you.

“We won’t.” You head to the front door, when Sungchan yells one last time. “Enjoy your date.”

“What movie are we going to see by the way?” You ask only once you get into the car.

“You’ll see.” is all he says, and it makes you beg him for more information. “Could you atleast give me a hint.”

“It’s over an hour long.”

“Oh, thanks Anton, that helps.” You sarcastically say, while starting the car. “I think you’ll like it.” He says last.

Anton’s checking in the movie’s ticket while you’re sitting in the back just watching him, there’s no one else in the main area besides the employees, Anton, you and the stranger that walks up from behind you and compliments the shirt that you're wearing.

“Are you waiting for someone?” The man asks

“Yeah, I’m here with my friend.” You point towards Anton who’s staring intently at your interaction with the man in front of you. “He’s getting our tickets.” you add before turning your attention back to the stranger. “Are you single? By chance?” He asks suddenly but it flatters you.

The boy is smaller than what you’d describe as your type, but he’s cute and he looks very friendly. He has hair that you think you could spend hours playing in, and it’d be nice to get an actual boyfriend so Sungchan and Eunseok didn’t tease you about Anton.

“Yeah, I am.” You smile up at him as you stand up. “My name is Y/n.” You add, holding your hand out for him to shake. “My name is Sohee.” He’s about to connect hands with yours but Anton does it first as he stands besides you. Towering over both of you.

“We have to hurry and catch the movie.” He speaks only to you first, until you look at Sohee and back at him.

“Hey, sorry I didn’t see you here.” He lies.

“I don’t wanna hold you up.” Sohee says, particularly paying attention to the way Anton gently and subtly interlocks his fingers with yours. “Sorry about that.” You apologize sincerely.

“It’s no problem, I hope you enjoy the movie.” He says last before Antons dragging you off.

“Who was that?” he asks as you go down the hallway to find out which movie room was showing the movie that you intended to see. “He said his name was Sohee, I thought he had really nice hair.” You look up at Anton.

“I also have nice hair.” He whines.

“No, I mean his hair looks so soft.”

“And mine doesn’t.” He turns to look down at you.

“This isn’t about you.” You giggle. It takes for the both of you to walk into the movie room together for you to realize that he still hadn’t told you what movie you were gonna be watching. You don’t ask now, because you figure that you’ll just find out when it starts playing.

However, once you take your seat right besides your best friend all the way in the back. You miss the title of the movie because you’re too fixated on the fact he hadn’t let go of your hand since he grabbed it earlier. Watching the way he mindlessly rubs his thumb in slow and gentle circles around the back of your hand.

You’d pull away and scold him, but it actually felt nice. So you just rest your head on his arm and continue to watch the rest of the movie.

It was easy forgetting about the 11 pm fiasco in the cabin. You guess Anton was right, your friendship has seen worse. And now you feel kinda silly remembering how you cried thinking about the ending of your friendship.

If that was even possible, because as long as you’ve known Anton you knew there wasn’t anything that he wouldn’t do just to talk to you. Even now when he snuck himself into your room, for nothing else but to show you the memory box that he found buried deep beneath his bed.

Neither of you remember when you started making it, but both of you were glad to have it. The box was filled with random inanimate objects that actually helped to build the friendship that you have now. Things ranging from the test that brought you together in the first place.

To the small purple transparent lighter that you intended to use as a prop for your magic trick. But actually, almost became an accessory to arson. You were trying to recreate one of those fire throwing acts that you saw on tv however you got a little too carried away and set one of the towels on fire in your bathroom.

In Anton’s defense he told you over and over again that you shouldn’t do it. In your defense? You didn’t have one.

The box is filled with not only random memory sakes, but also tons of pictures of the two of you from when you got your first polaroid for christmas.

The first one you come across is a picture that Eunseok took of you and Anton in your Halloween costumes.

You’d spent months convincing Anton to go with you as Jack Skellington and Sally because of your small obsession with Tim Burton at the time.

He agreed but it wasn’t at all an easy task. And you didn’t even know he would agree until he showed up to your front door with face paint and a very unamused frown. It didn’t phase you at all though because you jumped up and down while giggling and clapping, completely missing the small growing smile that he was gaining just from knowing that you were happy and he was the cause of it.

“Aren’t Jack and Sally a couple?” Sungchan questions when you hand Eunseok your polaroid and ask him to take a picture of you.

“Duh.” you say oblivious to the point he’s trying to make.

“So if you’re Jack and you’re sally…” he points to you as he says “Doesn't that make you a couple.” He finishes with a grin. “No, it’s a costume you idiot.” You yell at him, reaching for your shoe to throw at him.

You’re ready to fight but Anton only looks down at you and smiles at how easily angry you got. And that’s exactly when Eunseok takes the picture.

Anton watches your subtle smile as you flip through each of the polaroids, he begins to mirror your smile when you look up at him and giggle softly. “Oh look at this one.” You hold one of the pictures just inches away from his eyes where he could barely see.

Rather than just taking the photograph out of your hand to see it better, he wraps his hand around your wrist and backs it up to a better angle. The gesture is very simple but you don’t fail to notice that he’s rubbing the tip of his thumb back and forth over your skin.

“I remember this.” he laughs, looking at the photo. You feel a bit of coolness fall over you when he lets go of your arm to look through the rest of the box. Which you think to do after staring at him for 5 seconds too long. Flipping though the rest of the polaroids in your hand, when you come across another picture.

This one isn’t from your camera. It’s a picture your mom took of you when you invited him over to the house for the first time. She was so happy that you had finally made a friend, she didn’t even care that she was actively embarrassing you. Sneaking pictures, and watching behind walls whenever you had finally built some gut to actually talk to him.

It was so long ago, and you were so young. It’s fun to think about now, but it’s even better to think about how long you’ve known him.

“Isn’t it crazy that we’ve been friends for so long and neither of us has a crush on eachother.” You ask, still looking down at the picture.

“Yeah.” He laughs

When you look up you see your best friend, the one person outside of your family that stuck with you through thick and thin. Who held you every time you cried and dried your tears to tell you that everything was going to be alright. Who, no matter what, never made you feel like a burden or like you were too much. Who made it obvious over and over again that they’d do anything to keep you happy.

You see Lee Anton.

He’s meant to be in your life, you’re very sure of it. Because no one understood you like he did, and no one ever will as long as he’s alive. No one defended you like he did, and you don’t care to learn if anyone else might.

But as time went on, the lines started to blur. Because you want to kiss him now, and you’re not sure if you want to do it as his best friend or something more. Gradually leaning in closer to him until your lips just barely touch.

He takes the initiative to go all the way. Furthering the kiss, you have to grab onto his shoulders to keep yourself stable.

You can’t explain it but this just feels right, or better yet, it definitely didn’t feel wrong.

Your eyes are still closed when you pull away, but the instant you open them he mutters. “I love you.” Causing you to get up and jump away from him as if he was infected with a contagious deadly disease.

“You ruined it.” You yell at him, loud enough for him to know how startled you are but not enough for anyone outside of the room to hear.

“I’m sorry!” he pleads. Within a few seconds he’s standing over you so you have to look up at him. For as long as you knew him he’d always been taller than you, it was so obvious that everyone else pointed out the extreme height difference. Well, everyone but you.

“Why would you say that?” You throw your arms down.

“I don’t know, it just came out.”

“You don’t mean it, do you?” You ask, but this time you aren’t yelling and your voice is calmer.

“Of course, I mean it. We’ve been friends for years and I love you.”

“Stop saying that!”

“Do you love me?” His voice is softer than usual and you hate it, there’s just no way you could give him any other answer outside of the one he’s asking to hear. Yet and still you can’t give him anything because you’re not even sure yourself.

“Do you?” he asks again, breaking the long period of silence.

“Could you just kiss me again?” You ask, and he listens. Just as he always does because you’re his best friend and all he wants is to make you happy.

The question never quite left your mind. "Did you love him?” No. “Do you love him?" The obvious answer is yes. It'd be impossible to not love someone that you've been close friends with for just a little less than half your life. Someone that knew almost everything about you.

But this was a more complicated question. Because you know he wasn't asking if you love him as a best friend, and that wasn't an answer you were ready to find out. If you loved him any differently than a friend, then it would change everything.

That's what you're afraid of.

Although, it's a little too late to be scared for the friendship if you're even questioning it in the first place.

It’s been two days since that night, but neither of you had the balls to bring it up again. Seems as if you were getting better at pretending things never happened. You could try and say that things hadn’t changed at all, but that’d be a lie.

Usually you liked the comfort of your own room, but the more you spent in there alone the more you felt that the silence was getting too loud for your own good, and the very last thing you needed right now was to be alone in your thoughts.

So for once you decided to sit in the living room and enjoy the presence of your brother and his best friend. Sitting further away from both of them on the sofa with your legs pressed up against your chest. There weren’t any intentions of interacting with either of them, you just needed to get around somewhere that wasn’t ear ringing quiet.

But every part of you wishes you would’ve just stayed in your room, when you become the topic of discussion.

“Are you texting your boyfriend?” Sungchan teases per usual.

“No.” Is all you say, hoping that if you don’t give him the attention he wants, he’ll leave you alone. He doesn’t but what were you expecting, he was like your annoying brother after all. “You didn’t deny that he was your boyfriend.”

“He isn’t.” You mumble, still not looking up from your phone.

“Is something wrong?” Eunseok asks, and you can easily tell that he’s really concerned. But you just cannot force yourself to tell him that something is bothering you because you know he’ll wanna help. And this just wasn’t a matter that you needed nor wanted him to help you with.

“No, just kinda tired.” You begin to say but sungchan talks over you and asks a question that makes your heart drop.

“Is this about the kiss with Anton?” He pipes up randomly.

“You kissed?” Eunseok takes turns questioning you, and just when you’re about to answer him Sungchan once again speaks over you. “Yeah, but they were both high so it doesn’t really count.”

“High?” This time he’s jumping out of his seat.

By now your heart is beating loud enough to hear, there’s no way to talk yourself out of this so you don’t even try. Only preparing yourself for what’s to come.

“You were high?”

“Before you start, just know that I’m sorry and I already made the decision to never do it again.”

“Wait, don't be too hard on her, I’m the one who gave them the brownies.” Sungchan butts in an attempt to protect you. “I’ll deal with you later.” Your brother points to him, and turns his attention back on you.

“Why did you do it in the first place? I told you to stay away from drugs.” He begins raising his voice at you. That might have been when you started crying, you think. But it’s still unclear, because all you could think about was how shitty you felt to have disappointed him.

“This isn’t a game Y/n that stuff is bad, what will you do when you get to College and everyone around you is doing it? Are you gonna do it too?” He continues to shout,

“No, I told you I wasn’t ever gonna touch it again.” You cry,

“How am I supposed to believe that? You’re not giving me any reason to trust you.”

The words he spit out of his mouth were like small but extremely sharp swords. Piercing into your heart all at once, you don’t even have the strength in your voice to speak anymore, so your next sentence comes out shaky and a little squeaky. “Did you ever trust me?”

“Why would I?” That’s the very last sword to impale your beating muscle, you can imagine that air was just ripped out of your lungs. Leaving you to suffocate alone. If there was one thing you hated in the whole world it was being scolded by your older brother.

Simply because you weren’t used to getting yelled at by anyone else. Your mom was always very soft spoken, and your dad died before you ever got the chance to really disappoint him. So that left Eunseok, he didn’t shout at you often. But when he did, it hurt.

Anton’s the one person you went to every time you felt like this, so it was a no brainer that that’s where you’d end up now.

When you knock on his door still in your pajamas and cheeks stained with tears, he doesn’t even question you. Only holding his arms out for you to claim your spot close to his chest so he could embrace you with the warm and endearing hug that you needed most.

“He’s just looking out for you.” He speaks tenderly, once you finally calmed yourself down enough to explain everything. You always liked how soft his voice was, it was the very thing that made you wanna befriend him in the first place. Even though you made fun of him for it all the time, it was times like these when you really appreciated it.

“I just hate that I disappointed him, now he’ll never trust me.” You continue to sob into his chest.

He lets you cry for another 40 minutes until you fall asleep with your face flat against his chest. Your cheeks are still damp and a bit puffy but even now he finds himself struggling to pull his eyes away from you.

Unfortunately he’s forced to when there’s a knock at the front door, and Anton has to slide himself from under you so you don’t wake up. He knows exactly who’s on the other side of the door but he opens it anyway.

“Is Y/n here?” eunseok asks, already knowing the answer. You wouldn’t go anywhere else.

“No. why, did something happen?” Anton masks his lies with faux concern. “We just got into an argument kind of. I just wanna make sure she’s okay.” Eunseok continues.

Anton looks back at your sleeping figure and faces Eunseok. Feeling no need to hold up the lie he says, “Yeah, she’s fine.”

“Thank you… for taking care of her.”

“Of course.”

Anton closes the door when Eunseok walks away. He watches you for some short moments before leaving to go find a blanket to drape over you just in case you were feeling chilly in your sleep. And sitting on the couch beside you so you didn’t have to be alone.

Anyone with a sibling would know that arguments don’t last for long. But this one did, you knew what you did was wrong but you also don’t want to apologize. So you just pretend like he doesn’t exist for the following week.

He tried nonstop for the first two days but gave up after you just stared directly in his face without a word when he offered you the keys to his car, and unlimited access for the rest of the summer.

“What do you wanna watch?” Anton asks with one hand navigating the laptop and the other playing through your hair. Your body is pressed close against his, so much so you can hear his heartbeat. And he can feel the vibrations of your voice when you hum “I don’t know, you can choose.”

“How about a cartoon?” He scrolls his pointer down to Tom and jerry.

“Not that one.” You mutter when it begins to play.

“Okay, what about the incredibles?” He asks

“I don’t like the incredibles.” you speak into his chest.

“Mickey mouse?”

“We’re not children, Anton.”

“Well, what do you wanna watch?” he shifts his body to look down at you, his frustration growing when you look back up at him. “I don’t know, but I don’t wanna watch that.”

“You don’t wanna watch anything.” He huffs.

“Just choose something good.” Both of you are bickering with each other but keeping your positions, his hand is still tangled in your hair, and you're still face to chest with him. You look up in sync when Eunseok passes by your room to get to his own, however he doesn’t make it to his room yet because he stopped to watch the two of you bicker.

If he didn’t know any better he’d think that the both of you were dating. Funny thing is, he really didn’t know any better. So he stood there in shock staring at you two together holding a half sandwich right in front of his mouth.

“What are you looking at?” You spit, after a small moment of awkward silence.

As soon as the words leave your mouth you realize exactly what he’s looking at, because you look up at Anton and jump away a second later. Not noticing how it looked from a different point of view.

Eunseok walks away immediately with a small chuckle, because although he didn’t understand what was going on you at least acknowledged his existence and talked to him, so that was an improvement.

Your relationship with your brother was still taking baby steps to recovery, but your relationship with your best friend couldn’t get any better. If you weren’t sitting right besides him, you were texting him, if you weren’t texting him, you were calling him.

You made the deal to make this summer count, just in case you grew apart from each other but with the way things were going you highly doubted that anything would break you apart now.

You threw your head back on your bed, staring at your phone with your arms held out over top of your face. You smile never wavering as you type away messages to Anton. First you send the word “hello” 8 individual times in separate messages until he responds, you wanna make sure that you have his attention first.

But when he doesn’t respond or even open the messages, you let the anticipation get the best of you and just call him, so you can at least hear his reaction when you tell him the news that has you busting at the seams with excitement.

Yet, something about hearing the phone ring over and over again slowly kills the excitement in you. Your smile is still present, it’s just smaller now.

Anton always answered his phone for you, even during the cello lessons that his dad used to make him take after school. So this is something new to you, and you’re not sure how to really feel about it.

The only thing you can think to do is just go to his house and see him in person. At Least this way you could see his reaction face to face and even hang out for a little. That’s what you choose to do, throwing your legs over your bed to rush to his front door.

“Hey, guess wha-” You start the second the door opens but stop when you see that the person who opened the door wasn’t Anton. In fact, you don’t know who this is, you’ve never seen her before.

“Hi?” The girl pipes up, smiling at you. You try to force yourself to mirror her smile, it lasts almost as long as a blink but with all the thoughts running through your head you end up just blurting out. “Who are you?”

“I’m Anton’s friend.” She holds her hand out to you. “Nice to meet you.” She smiles.

You feel your heart sink into your chest, the longer you look at her. It was happening already, and summer isn’t even over yet. you thought things were looking up, but it’s just the beginning of the end.

You wanna ask, “Are you sure?” because Anton's never mentioned her before, but you hold your tongue and simply ask “Is he here?” and she responds with “Yeah, I’ll get him for you.”

You wait for less than a minute before Anton comes to the door, you hadn’t thought about what you were going to say when you did see him. So now you’re stumbling over your words trying to find out what question you wanna ask first.

“I just came because you didn’t answer your phone, but I guess you have a date so that would explain everything.” you mutter

“It's not a date, she just came over to play games.”

“sounds fun.”

“you’re not mad.. right?”

“I'm just a little disappointed that you didn’t tell me. but she’s really pretty I hope you guys have fun.”

“why do you even care? we’re just friends.” he asks when get ready to turn your back.

“Just fr- the rest of the words can’t even leave your mouth, just caught in your throat as tears begin to swarm your waterline. “Clearly we don’t feel the same way, so I’ll just go.”

“Feel the same way?” he repeats “about what? there’s nothing to feel.” That's what does it, knocks the wind right out of your lungs.

“Nothing. Nothing, Anton, bye.” You hurry and walk away before he can see you cry. The conversation reminds you of the stupid high school boys that you used to avoid. You cling to Anton because you always thought he was far too sweet to ever treat you or anyone like that. But you were wrong—terribly wrong, and it makes you physically ill.

Crying for the third time this summer, barging into the house past Eunseok, and running into your room. This might actually be your first heartbreak, and it’s funny to think that your best friend would be the one to give it to you.

“Knock, knock.” Eunseok knocks on the bedroom door that you forgot to close. Usually, he waits for your permission to enter, but this time, he just walks right in and takes a spot on the edge of your bed.

“go away.” You sob into your pillow.

He continues to speak, not caring about your protests. “I know you don’t want to talk to me right now. But I want you to know that I'll always be here for you, and no matter what, I’ll always look out for you.”

“I don't need you to look out for me.”

He doesn’t say anything else because he knows it’s only a matter of time before you open up to him about what’s going on.

He thought right. It took not even four seconds for you to sit up and look at him with glossy eyes. “We’re just friends, not best friends, not even close friends. Just friends,” you said, hiccupping in between words.

When Eunseok doesn’t say anything, you keep talking.

"He was hanging out with this girl; I've never met her before. Well, I mean, he’s never told me about her, and she’s really pretty. He probably thinks she’s prettier than me.”

“you’re crying because he was hanging out with a girl?” Eunseok recaps, and you roll your eyes.

“You don’t get it; no one gets it.” Not even you. You couldn’t explain to him what’s wrong if you wanted to because you actually had no clue. All you knew was that you saw him with another girl, and it hurt—a lot.

“Then explain it to me.” Your brother looks at you, really trying to understand so he can find a way to make you feel better. When you go completely silent, he blurts out another question.

“Do you like him?”

Now you get it. Now, it all makes sense. You don’t want to admit it aloud, but you know the truth. You’ve stopped crying, but your voice is still weak and raspy when you say, “We’re just friends,” repeating Anton's exact words.

It wasn’t easy ignoring Anton, not because you were struggling to stay away from him but because he made it hard to pretend like he never existed. Blowing up your phone with phone calls or text messages and popping up at your front door occasionally so you’d be forced to see his face.

You’ve moved on from being mad about whatever it was that you were mad about in the first place to being mad about the fact that he didn’t share the same feelings you had.

This was all his fault anyways, because if it wasn't for his dumb stupid face and his annoying soft voice you would’ve never fallen for him in the first place. You were actually pretty good at keeping your emotions controlled… well more less. But this was still his fault, and you weren’t taking any responsibility.

1:15 Brachio: Wanna go skating today?

1:22 Brachio: hey??

1:37 Brachio: did I do something wrong?”

You scoff at the last message; he really had the audacity to ask if he did something wrong. Even if you didn’t fully know the reason you were mad, he should’ve definitely known.

4:49 Brachio: Hello?

4:49 Brachio: I’m sorry, please talk to me.

4:49 Brachio: this isn’t fun I’m getting flashbacks.

4:50 Brachio: I’ll bake you a cake.

4:50 Brachio: I’ll do anything.

5: 10 Brachio: wow so you hate me.

6:20 You: I do, leave me alone.

6:20 Brachio: Oh, sorry,

6:29 Brachio: Are you still mad?

You leave your phone face up and watch his name flash more and more from the corner of your room. Trying to think of anything else to distract you from the conversation Anton was having with himself in your messages.

“What are you doing out here?” Sungchan looks down at Anton, cropped down in front of your door. “Waiting for Y/n,” he responds.

“Oh I’ll get her for you.” He turns.

“No! She’s not gonna come out if you tell her I’m here. I’ll just wait.”

“Is this like a game?... or”

“She came over 2 weeks ago, and we had a small argument about… actually, I don’t know what it was about. I just know that it upset her that I had one of my friends over.” Anton explains.

“Interesting, interesting and was this friend a girl?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you find her physically attractive?”

“No, I’ve never really looked at her like that.”

“Interesting.” Sungchan taps his chin three times for a cinematic effect. “It seems to me like Y/n might have a little crush on you.”

“On me? She couldn’t possi- oh~” he comes to the realization mid sentence. “What is Anton gonna do with this new found information?” Sungchan begins to speak in his version of a British accent.

“There’s nothing I can do, She won’t talk to me. It’s been weeks.” Anton looks up to sungchan.

“If there is a will, there will be a way,” Sungchan speaks with his finger in the air as if he were some inspirational character from a children's book.

“Okay…” Anton mutters.

“Sungchan says! We shall make it rain.” Sungchan yells.

“Make it rain?” Anton questions

“Make it rain.” Sungchan heroically yells.

“Make it rain?” Anton asks again.

Since summer was coming to an end, you figured there was no other time to start packing than now. The first thing you decided to start with was the abundance of posters on your walls. It didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. Maybe you needed a little change in your life, and growing up wasn’t all that bad.

“I never thought I’d see this room all packed up.” Eunseok says as he walks through your bedroom door.

“I haven’t even started yet.” You laugh.

“You start school in a few weeks. How do you feel?”

“I’m actually kind of excited, maybe it’s time for me to make new friends.”

“Are you at least gonna talk to him before you go?”

“He’ll be fine, he has someone to keep him company.” you don’t even take the time to look at your brother when you speak. Focusing on carefully taking down your wall art without ripping any of them.

“I’m sure he’d still like to talk to you.”

“I don’t care.’ You say bluntly.

“Maybe you should.” You only turn to look at him when he’s gone, leaving you alone with nothing but your crowded walls and crowded thoughts to match. Going away for college meant you might not ever talk to Anton again. Well, you were probably going to see him around campus or something, sure. But you won’t be friends like you used to. He’ll go off to build his new group of people, and so will you.

Maybe this friendship wasn’t so strong after all.

The splashing water against your window is enough to pull you out of your thoughts. You guess that it’s raining at first, so you open your window to observe the sky but see that it’s completely bright and clear.

“What the heck?” You say aloud to yourself, trying to observe where the sprinkles of water are coming from.

Then you see Anton standing right below you, drenched in water and Sungchan holding the water hose from the bushes. “These idiots.” You mutter under your breath.

“Y/n, someone's here for you,” Eunseok yells from the stairs, making sure to leave out Anton’s name. He knew you wouldn’t leave your room if he did mention him.

Anton doesn’t give you the chance to speak before he starts to recite the note he has in his hands. The note was just as wet as he was, and the ink had already begun washing off the paper, but he continued to read anyway.

“I. Am. Very. Sorry. For-” Not caring to hear the rest of what he has to say, you snatch the damped paper out of his hand and rip it up in front of him. Then throwing the pieces back in his face before you slam the door and leave him to talk to himself.

“I didn’t need that.” He murmurs through the barrier between you two.

“Remember you pinky promised me that we’d always be friends. You can’t break it now. We never break our pinky promises.” He speaks on the other side of the door since you weren’t gonna speak to him face to face.

“For the love of god Anton, go away-” You yell at him when you open your front door, and within a blink of an eye his lips are on yours and his hands are on each side of your face. He’d pulled you far enough out of your house to get drenched in the water that Sungchan was spraying.

You break the kiss first with a harsh slap on his cheek. “Why did you do that?” You shout.

“That’s what they do in the movies whenever they confess their feelings. I thought it would work,” he explains, holding his cheek,

“You like me?”

“Am I gonna get slapped again if I say yes?”

You don’t have anything else to say, so you pull him down to you by the collar of his shirt and kiss him once again. Before whispering, “I like you too.” Against his lips

“So you’re not mad at me anymore?”

“I still haven’t gotten a cake yet.” is your response to his question, but you both knew that you were far from mad at him.

You guys shared over 234 pinky promises in the time span that you had been friends. And all of them remained unbroken, except for one.

287 notes · View notes