#and so full of depth and insights
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I like them 🥺
#identity v#idv#yeah I’m still not sure how exactly to draw Eli’s hair….#nor Lucky’s but we don’t talk about that…..#lucky guy#idv lucky guy#I got my handful of ships#that just rotate in my mind all day (mainly RichKurt KurtNaib LuckyQiEli and all)#honestly Kurt just deserves all the love in the world and so does lucky#SO DOES QI AND ELI#I need to write something explaining their dynamics cause no one else on this planet ships the three#I’ve found one person who ships Eli and Qi which is neat :D#LuckyQi and LuckyEli are definitely out there though which is also nice#qi shiyi#eli clark#idv antiquarian#idv seer#at first I didn’t really ship all of them together#I mainly shipped LuckyQi because of midsummer misty mountain event and shipped EliLucky cause of stageplay#(along Aesop but only in the context of stageplay. I just really love their little trio dynamic so I don’t mind if they’re friends/lovers)#but then I was like#Eli and Qi have a really interesting dynamic to explore#I feel like they’d connect in a very different/unique way then Lucky might with either of them? this isn’t bad#just different in the same way different people come into your life and provide different insights and perspectives#Idk I need to plan a comic or just a full in depth analysis to put down my thoughts but not in the tags#luckyqi#luckyeli#QiEli#LuckyQiEli#Doodles :> (Eli’s head is big? no its not silly)
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What Is Your Subconscious Trying to Tell You? Planets in the 12th House
Sun in the 12th house
That’s like the universe saying, “You’re powerful, radiant, and deeply gifted… but let’s play hide-and-seek with it for a while.”
The subconscious here is kind of whispering instead of yelling. It’s like, “Hey, you’ve got this inner light, but it works best when you're alone, dreaming, meditating, or doing something wildly imaginative at 3 a.m.” You’re not the “spotlight” type — you’re more like the candle in a quiet temple. Subtle, sacred, and kinda mysterious.
It might also mean your sense of self (the Sun) is on a journey through a foggy forest. You feel things deeply, often without knowing where it’s all coming from. But that’s the 12th house way — it’s not linear, it’s more “vibes and visions.”
Sometimes this placement is like your soul signed up for a retreat in this lifetime: “Let’s develop compassion, spiritual insight, and psychic Wi-Fi.” But occasionally, it forgets it also has to go grocery shopping and file taxes, which is less magical.
Your subconscious wants you to stop trying to be someone else’s idea of “visible” and start honoring the quiet power you already have. It’s telling you: “You're not here to be loud — you’re here to be luminous in silence.”
Basically, you’re the kind of person who might not post selfies every day, but when you do, everyone’s like “Damn, who is this ethereal being?”
The trick? Spend time in solitude, trust your dreams, and don’t be afraid of your own depth. Your Sun’s not lost — it’s just meditating.
Moon in the 12th house
Ah, Moon in the 12th house — aka “Feelings? Yes. Do I understand them? Not always. Do I absorb the emotional state of every plant, cloud, and stranger’s sneeze? Absolutely.”
This is the placement of the secret empath, the cosmic sponge, the person whose emotional radar is so sensitive it picks up on vibes that haven't even happened yet. Your subconscious basically lives in a cozy, candle-lit cave with a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign, journaling about things your conscious mind hasn’t figured out.
You might cry during shampoo commercials and have no idea why. Spoiler: it’s not about the shampoo — it’s probably unresolved childhood stuff, or your neighbor's breakup energy floating through the walls.
The Moon rules emotions, instincts, and your inner child — and when it’s tucked into the 12th house, it's like your feelings are behind a curtain. Sometimes you don’t even realize how deeply affected you are until your cat looks at you weird and suddenly you're having a 3-hour existential crisis.
Your subconscious here is constantly trying to process and heal old emotional baggage — not just from this life, but possibly from past ones too. (Yup, we’re going full mystical.) It’s like your dreams, gut feelings, and random waves of nostalgia are all part of your soul’s therapy sessions.
And the message? Feel your feels. Even if you don’t understand them. Spend time alone. Journal. Swim. Meditate. Cry at art. Be weird and emotional in a safe, private bubble. That’s where your magic lives.
Also — protect your energy. You’re not crazy. You're just psychic and slightly haunted in a beautiful way.
Mercury in the 12th house
Mercury in the 12th house is like having a genius poet locked in the attic of your mind. They write incredible things, uncover deep truths, have brilliant thoughts... but they don’t always send the memo down to your conscious brain. Or if they do, it gets lost in translation somewhere between “dream logic” and “wait, what was I saying again?”
This is the placement of secret thinkers, inner philosophers, and psychic messengers. You may come across as quiet or daydreamy, but under the surface your brain is a labyrinth of thoughts, insights, and deeply intuitive connections. Mercury here doesn’t shout — it whispers from the shadows like, “Psst, I know something you don’t know…”
It might show up as overthinking in the middle of the night, or having whole conversations in your head that are more interesting than real-life small talk. You may also randomly blurt something super profound, and everyone’s like “Whoa… where did that come from?” and you’re like “I… don’t know??”
Also, let’s be real — your subconscious is a talker. It just prefers dreams, music, symbols, and spiritual downloads instead of bullet points. Mercury in the 12th is more Rumi than PowerPoint.
And your subconscious message? Trust the way your mind works, even if it’s not “normal.” Write things down. Record your dreams. Let your creativity out in weird, wordy, wonderful ways. You don’t have to explain your thoughts to everyone — sometimes they’re meant to be decoded slowly, like secret scrolls.
You’re not forgetful. You’re just tuned to a frequency that plays between the lines.
Venus in the 12th house
Ohhh, this one is pure soft poetry and tragic romance vibes. It’s like your heart lives in a secret garden with a “no entry unless you’re telepathic” sign on the gate.
You love deeply — sometimes even before you consciously realize it. Love sneaks up on you. Crushes feel like dreams. You might be drawn to unavailable people (emotionally, geographically, or dramatically). Why? Because Venus in the 12th doesn’t always want a simple rom-com — it wants a soul story with plot twists.
You might also hide your love. Maybe you don’t want to “bother” someone with your feelings. Maybe you fall in love in silence, or love people in ways they never even realize — like a secret admirer… but spiritual. Your subconscious is like, “Let’s keep this precious thing hidden so no one can hurt it.” (Cute, but exhausting.)
Also, you give love selflessly. Venus here is the friend who will help you move at midnight, bake you cookies when you’re sad, and never mention how much you mean to them. Why? Because they assume you already feel it. (Spoiler: not everyone does. Use your words, magical creature.)
Your subconscious is whispering: “You are worthy of love that doesn’t require self-sacrifice to feel real.” Not all love has to be painful, secret, or karmic. You deserve joy, softness, and being loved out loud. Let people love you back. Let your heart be seen, even if it feels scary.
And one more thing? You’re lowkey magnetic. People pick up on that Venusian glow even if you’re trying to hide behind your coffee cup. So maybe step out of the fog once in a while. Love is looking for you too — it just needs a map.
Mars in the 12th house
Ahhh Mars in the 12th house — the warrior monk of the zodiac. It’s like your inner fighter went on a silent retreat and only throws punches in dreams, poetry, or deep existential crises.
Mars is action, drive, anger, desire. But in the 12th house? It’s doing push-ups in the shadows. You have energy, fire, and passion… but it might come out sideways, secretly, or at completely inconvenient times like “why am I suddenly furious at this paperclip?”
Sometimes you’re not even sure what you’re mad at — you just feel pressure building, like there’s a volcano inside that occasionally sighs dramatically through a vent. Or maybe you hesitate to assert yourself because confrontation feels unsafe or unclear. Mars here often learns early in life: “It’s not safe to show anger.” So you tuck it away… until it punches the inside of your ribcage.
But don’t worry — your subconscious has a plan.
Mars in the 12th is like spiritual kung fu. It wants you to use your strength not just to win arguments, but to fight for your healing, your compassion, your creativity, your dreams. Your drive is sacred, even if it feels slippery.
This placement also gives wild dream energy — you might fight battles, run missions, or fall in lust in your sleep.Honestly, your dream self is probably more assertive than your waking self. (Mars is out there living its best dreamlife.)
Your subconscious is saying: “Stop doubting your power just because it doesn’t look like everyone else’s.” You don’t need to charge into battle — but you do need to claim your space. Take inspired action. Express anger safely. Do physical movement that feels healing. Say no without a 3-page apology.
You’re not passive. You’re just a warrior of the unseen. Mars in the 12th isn’t weak — it’s just training on another level.
Jupiter in the 12th house
Jupiter in the 12th house is like having a guardian angel with a great sense of humor who works undercover. You're walking through life with this invisible cheerleader going, “You don’t know it yet, but I’m totally helping you avoid disasters and manifest blessings behind the scenes.”
This placement is lowkey magical. It gives you luck, protection, and spiritual growth — but in subtle, dreamy, 12th-house ways. It’s not “I won the lottery!” luck. It’s “I missed that train and met the love of my life because of it” luck. Divine timing, secret blessings, the universe whispering “trust me” when everything seems foggy.
You might have this deep, unshakable faith that everything will be okay — even if your logical brain is like, “Girl, how??” That’s Jupiter in the 12th. It’s not loud. It’s not flashy. It’s cosmic reassurance wrapped in a soft blanket of intuition.
Also? You're spiritually wise in ways you might not even realize. You could be the friend who just "knows" what someone needs to hear. Or the person who finds meaning in chaos. Or the one journaling about life purpose at 2 a.m. while others are doomscrolling.
And your subconscious? It’s whispering: “Expand inward.” Grow your inner world. Trust your intuition. Let yourself explore dreams, healing, compassion, art, philosophy — not because they’re “productive,” but because your soul literally needs them.
Also: don’t ignore your gift of helping others — even anonymously. You might be amazing at behind-the-scenes kindness, working in solitude, or just radiating that “safe to cry here” energy. People may not know why they feel better around you — but they do.
So yeah. Jupiter in the 12th? It’s spiritual Wi-Fi with unlimited data. Use it. Share it. Trust it.
Saturn in the 12th house
Saturn in the 12th house is like having a strict, old-school monk living in your subconscious — the kind who wakes you up at 5 a.m. to meditate and reminds you that “suffering builds character.” Thanks, bro.
This placement gives deep inner strength, but not without a bit of existential bootcamp. Saturn here often makes you feel like you're carrying invisible weight. You might not always know why you feel heavy, tired, or a bit lonely — but it’s like your soul remembers every past-life karma, every buried fear, and it’s quietly working through them in the background.
It’s the “I feel guilty for no reason” placement. Or “I don’t even know what I’m afraid of, but I am.” Saturn in the 12th is the cosmic janitor sweeping your inner basement — slowly, methodically, and with a clipboard.
You may also keep your struggles hidden. You might not ask for help, because something inside you says “I have to figure this out alone.” And honestly? You probably do get stronger that way. But also — gentle reminder — you don’t have to do everything the hard way.
Your subconscious is saying: “Face your shadows, but don’t marry them.” You’re here to learn how to carry solitude without it turning into isolation. To build faith and structure in the unseen. To turn fear into discipline. And to realize that your strength isn’t in being hard — it’s in being whole.
Also? You’re probably amazing at long-term healing work, spiritual commitment, and being the quiet rock in chaotic times. You’re not weak — you’re just wired to grow from the inside out, and that takes time.
So be patient with yourself. Your soul’s doing advanced-level homework. You’ll graduate with a PhD in Inner Resilience.
Uranus in the 12th house
Uranus in the 12th house is like having a mad scientist, rebel hacker, and cosmic lightning bolt all living in your subconscious… but they’re working anonymously. Behind the scenes. Wearing a trench coat and sunglasses. At night.
This is the placement of psychic plot twists, intuitive downloads, and freaky deja vu moments. You’ll be chilling and suddenly get a “feeling” not to go somewhere — and then find out later that something chaotic happened there. Or you’ll dream about someone you haven’t seen in five years… and they text you the next day. Classic 12th house Uranus stuff.
There’s a deep inner genius here, but it’s not always available on demand. You don’t always know when inspiration will strike — but when it does, it’s weirdly brilliant. Think: flashes of insight in the shower, sudden “aha!”s at 4 a.m., or radical ideas that come while staring at a wall.
Your subconscious is constantly processing the collective energy. It’s like you’re plugged into the Wi-Fi of the universe — but the signal is unstable and sometimes comes with static and prophetic memes.
You may also crave freedom… in ways you can’t always explain. Like, “I just want to be alone in a cave, reinventing myself every three days, thanks.” You rebel against anything that boxes in your soul, even if no one else sees those boxes. Especially rules that feel outdated or fake.
And your subconscious message? “Liberate yourself from within.” The real revolution is happening behind your eyes — in your dreams, your gut feelings, your untamed thoughts. Trust your intuition, honor your eccentricities, and don’t be afraid to break internal rules you didn’t even know were optional.
You’re not unstable. You’re wired for awakening. Uranus in the 12th doesn’t want you to follow the map — it wants you to channel the lightning.
Neptune in the 12th house
Neptune in the 12th house is like being born with a secret doorway to other realms… but also constantly misplacing the key.
This is peak mystical energy. Your subconscious is basically floating in a foggy, glittery dreamscape where mermaids give life advice and emotions come with a soundtrack. You have intuitive, psychic, or even mediumistic abilities — whether you’ve tapped into them or not. Like, you feel things no one else notices. You soak up moods, signals, and subtle energies like a spiritual sponge wrapped in velvet.
But let’s be honest: sometimes you’re not sure what’s yours and what’s just collective sadness, someone else’s anxiety, or Neptune doing its usual “let’s blur the lines” thing.
You may zone out, daydream, escape into art, fantasy, music, or naps (so many naps). Your subconscious says, “Let me dissolve reality for a bit — it’s too loud out there.”
Neptune here is also like: “Boundaries? Never heard of them.” You might feel compassion for literally everyone — even fictional villains and angry birds at the bus stop. Which is beautiful, but exhausting if you’re not protecting your energy.
And the message from your subconscious? “You are here to connect with the divine — but don’t lose yourself in the fog.” Your superpower is your connection to higher love, imagination, empathy, and art. But you’ve got to anchor it. Ground it. Channel it. Otherwise, it’s like having a gorgeous sailboat with no steering wheel.
You're not “too sensitive.” You’re just tuned into the cosmic frequency that most people ignore. Neptune in the 12th is a portal — and you’re the one who gets to walk through it (just remember to come back for snacks and hydration, okay?).
So dream. Create. Heal. Escape sometimes. But also: have boundaries, routines, and maybe one friend who texts you “hey, are you still on this planet?” every now and then.
Pluto in the 12th house
Pluto in the 12th house? Whew. That’s like having a shadow therapist living in your subconscious, doing deep soul excavation while you’re just trying to make it through Monday.
This placement is intense, transformational, and lowkey kind of psychic. You have emotional X-ray vision — you sense what’s hidden, what’s repressed, what’s not being said. You walk into a room and feel the tension before anyone opens their mouth. You read people without trying. Creepy? Maybe. Accurate? Absolutely.
But here’s the thing: you do the same thing to yourself — digging, unraveling, overanalyzing your own motives, wounds, dreams, fears, past lives, ancestral traumas, karmic loops… all while doing the dishes.
You might carry deep emotional weight that’s not even yours. Pluto in the 12th is often like, “Congrats! You’re the family karma sponge!” (rude, but powerful). Your subconscious is constantly whispering: "There’s more under the surface… keep digging." And you do. Even if it’s uncomfortable. Especially if it’s uncomfortable.
You might also have intense dreams, powerful emotions you can’t always explain, or a strange fascination with all things taboo, mysterious, or dark — psychology, death, sex, power, transformation. Basically, Pluto lives where the sun doesn’t shine, and in the 12th house, it’s got a whole underground palace.
But the beauty? You’re a healer. A transformer. A shadow-walker. You’re here to learn that your darkness isn’t dangerous — it’s sacred. You can help others face their fears because you’ve faced (or are constantly facing) your own. You don’t flinch at other people’s pain. You just get it.
So what’s Pluto in the 12th really trying to tell you?
“Go inward. Let go. Rise from your own ashes. Again. And again. And again.” You’re not broken — you’re evolving. Quietly. Radically. From the soul out.
#astrology#astro#natal chart#astro observations#birth chart#astro notes#astrology posts#astrology community#astrology facts#astrology reading#astrology readings#astrology signs#astrology observations#astro community#astrology notes#planets in the 12th house#subconscious
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The Indigenous Coding in Elves of Dragon Age (Second Edition)
An in-depth examination of the extensive parallels between the fictional race of elves in BioWare’s Dragon Age franchise, and real life Indigenous peoples.
This essay is too long to share on tumblr! So, you can read it in full or download a PDF copy from my WordPress site:
I worked really, really hard on this, and I'm extremely proud of its much needed update. Thanks in advance to anyone who shares it!
(CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR DATV!)
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If you found this piece insightful, please consider helping me with necessities! At the time of writing this, we are expecting a very large winter storm tomorrow night, and my family is woefully unprepared. But as a low-income person, I'm always thankful for any assistance anyone can offer.
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Bonds of Love

Headcanons for when Lycaon is in a relationship
Chivalrous and Gentle: Lycaon maintains a gentlemanly demeanor, always polite and considerate towards his partner. He opens doors, pulls out chairs, and carries heavy items, treating his partner with respect and care.
Lycaon smoothly opens the restaurant door with a practiced motion and turns to offer his hand to his partner, a gentle smile on his face. "After you, my dear. A gentleman always serves his beloved," he says warmly. His partner laughs softly, accepting his hand, and responds, "You're always so considerate." Lycaon, his visible eye filled with affection, replies, "It's my pleasure. You deserve nothing but the best," before leaning in to place a soft kiss on the back of their hand, his gaze full of warmth and devotion.
Protective Instincts: With his strong protective nature, Lycaon is always attentive to his partner's safety. He is vigilant and cautious, often positioning himself to shield his partner from potential harm.
As they walked through the crowded market, Lycaon subtly positioned himself between his partner and the bustling throng, his presence a silent shield. When they approached a particularly congested area, he placed a gentle hand on their lower back, guiding them safely through the crowd. Noticing his protective gesture, his partner glanced up with a soft smile. "You always know how to make me feel safe," they said. Lycaon smiled back, applying a reassuring pressure. "It's important to me that you're always protected," he replied warmly, nudging them toward a quieter corner while scanning the area to ensure their comfort and safety.
Romantic Gestures: Lycaon has a romantic side, often surprising his partner with flowers, handwritten notes, or thoughtful gifts. He enjoys planning special dates, such as stargazing nights or quiet dinners, to create memorable moments.
Lycaon approached his partner with a gentle smile, holding a bouquet of their favorite flowers behind his back. With a flourish, he revealed the vibrant blooms. "For you," he said tenderly, his gaze full of adoration. His partner's eyes widened in delight as they took the bouquet, the sweet scent filling their senses. "They're beautiful! What's the occasion?" they asked. Leaning in closer, Lycaon brushed his snout affectionately against their nose before nuzzling their cheek. "Just because I love you," he sweetly whispered. Seeing his partner blush, clearly touched by the heartfelt gesture, filled Lycaon with joy, his heart swelling at their happiness.
Intellectual Conversations: He values deep and meaningful conversations with his partner. Lycaon enjoys discussing literature, philosophy, and other intellectually stimulating topics. He listens intently and appreciates his partner's insights, often engaging in thoughtful debates and sharing his own perspectives.
The soft lighting illuminated the vibrant paintings around Lycaon and his partner as they strolled through the quiet halls of the art museum. Taking a moment to consider a particularly compelling piece, Lycaon leaned in slightly, his expression thoughtful. "The symbolism in this painting is fascinating," he said in a smooth, reflective voice. "The use of color and light by the artist to express emotion and depth is truly remarkable." His partner nodded, their eyes glowing with interest. "I love how the contrast between the shadows and light adds layers of meaning. It’s almost like the painting tells a story without words." Lycaon smiled warmly, holding their hand gently in his. "I appreciate how you see these details. Your observations always provide me with a new layer of understanding I hadn't considered before. It's one of my favorite things about our conversations."
Expressive Affection: Despite his reserved nature, Lycaon is affectionate in his own way. He often expresses his love through gentle touches, such as holding hands, resting his hand on his partner's back, or brushing a stray hair away from their face. His actions are subtle yet deeply meaningful, conveying his care and devotion.
It was a quiet evening as Lycaon sat beside his partner, the room filled with a peaceful silence. Reaching out, he gently took their hand in his, his touch warm and reassuring. A tender smile spread across his face as he leaned in closer to brush a stray hair away from their face. "You always manage to captivate me," he whispered in a soft, sincere tone. A smile spread across his partner's face as they felt the warmth of his touch and the sincerity of his words. "You make me feel so special," they replied, their voice filled with affection. Lycaon's gaze softened, reflecting the depth of his emotions. Leaning closer, he tilted his head slightly, pressing a gentle, lingering kiss to their lips. He kissed softly, yet passionately, expressing the depth of his love and devotion. As he pulled back, his thumb gently stroked their cheek. "You are special to me," he whispered, his voice barely above a whisper, carrying the weight of his heartfelt words.
Loyal and Committed: Lycaon is incredibly loyal, and once committed to a relationship, he is dedicated and steadfast. He values trust and honesty, making sure to communicate openly with his partner. His commitment is unwavering, and he is always there to support and stand by his partner, no matter the circumstances.
Sitting on the couch with his partner, Lycaon gently took their hands in his, his grip firm yet comforting. Taking a deep look into their eyes, he spoke steadily, with a sense of sincerity in his voice. "You know I'll always be here for you, right? No matter what," he said, a look of unwavering commitment on his face. Feeling the warmth and reassurance in his words, they smiled softly, the tension easing from their body. "I do, and it means the world to me," they replied, their voice touched with emotion. Lycaon's expression softened even more as he leaned in, lifting their hands to his lips as he kissed them tenderly and with affection. "Good," he murmured, his voice soft and intimate. "Because you mean the world to me."
Soft and Vulnerable Moments: Lycaon feels comfortable showing his softer side with his partner. He opens up about his fears, dreams, and insecurities, trusting his partner with his innermost thoughts.
As they lay together in the dim light of the bedroom, Lycaon stared at the ceiling, a shadow of worry crossing his features. He took a deep breath, gathering the courage to voice his thoughts. "Sometimes, I worry that I might not be enough for you," he confessed softly. "That I might fail you in some way." His partner gently took his hand, their fingers lacing together in a comforting grip. "You never have to worry about that," they assured him, their tone filled with warmth and sincerity. "You're more than enough for me, just as you are." A small, relieved smile formed on Lycaon's lips as he turned to face them, their words soothing his fears. "Thank you," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. His lips pressed tenderly against their foreheads as he found deep comfort and reassurance in their presence.
Playful Teasing: Lycaon enjoys a playful dynamic with his partner. While he is usually composed, he sometimes teases his partner in a lighthearted manner, enjoying the banter and the smiles it brings. His teasing is always gentle and affectionate, never crossing the line into hurtful territory.
As they worked side by side in the kitchen, preparing a meal, Lycaon noticed his partner struggling to open a jar of sauce. With a playful grin, he stepped closer, leaning over their shoulder. "Need a big, strong wolf to help with that?" he teased in a light and affectionate manner. They rolled their eyes with a mock sigh, handing him the jar. "Oh, please. Show me your amazing strength," they replied, playing along with the banter. Chuckling, Lycaon effortlessly twisted the lid off the jar and handed it back, his gaze twinkling with amusement. "There you go, just as requested," he said with a dramatic flourish. "Always happy to lend my mighty strength." His partner laughed, shaking their head. "You and your teasing," they said, nudging him playfully. "It's a good thing you're cute." Lycaon’s grin widened as he leaned in to kiss the tip of their nose. "And it's a good thing you love my teasing," he countered, his voice softening with fondness.
Supportive Partner: He is incredibly supportive of his partner's goals and aspirations. Lycaon is always there to offer encouragement, advice, and a listening ear. He celebrates their achievements with genuine pride and offers comfort and reassurance during challenging times.
As his partner walked into the room, Lycaon immediately rose to greet them, a proud smile on his face. "You did amazing," he said warmly, wrapping them in a gentle hug. "I knew you would impress everyone." Despite their exhaustion, they smiled with relief. "It was nerve-wracking, but I'm glad it's over." Guiding them to sit down, Lycaon held their hands and looked into their eyes, his expression sincere. "You were incredible. Your dedication and hard work truly shone through," he reassured, his voice filled with pride. Leaning in, he pressed a gentle kiss to their forehead. "Let's celebrate your success tonight. You deserve it."
Quiet Companionship: Lycaon appreciates quiet moments with his partner, where they can simply enjoy each other's presence without the need for words. Whether it's reading together, taking a leisurely walk, or sitting in comfortable silence, these moments are cherished as they reflect the deep connection and understanding between them.
Lycaon sat beside his partner on the couch, a book resting in his hands as the soft glow of the lamp cast a warm light over them. Occasionally, he glanced over at his partner, a soft smile playing on his lips as they were engrossed in their book. They shifted slightly, leaning into Lycaon's side, finding comfort in his presence. Without a word, they continued reading, savoring the quiet intimacy of the moment. As he breathed in deeply, Lycaon gently rested his head against theirs, feeling content in the shared quiet, enjoying the simple joy of being together without words.
Rituals and Traditions: Lycaon enjoys establishing rituals and traditions with his partner. Whether it's a weekly date night, a special way of celebrating anniversaries, or simple daily routines like morning coffee together, he finds comfort and joy in these shared experiences.
Every morning, Lycaon rises early to brew a pot of coffee, carefully preparing it just the way his partner likes it. He arranges two cups on the kitchen island, adding a small vase of fresh flowers to brighten the space. When his partner enters the kitchen, they're greeted by the comforting aroma of coffee. A smile spreads across their face as they approach the island. "Good morning," they say softly, taking a place next to Lycaon. Pouring the coffee into their cups, Lycaon hands one to his partner, his gaze warm with love. "Good morning," he replies. "Did you sleep well?" They share a quiet moment, savoring the start of the day together. Taking a sip, they nod, enjoying the rich flavor. "I did, thanks to you," they say, their voice filled with adoration. "These mornings are my favorite." Smiling, Lycaon sets his cup down and wraps an arm around his partner, pulling them closer. He leans in, placing a gentle kiss on their forehead. "Mine too," he murmurs.
Feral Protective Instincts: Though outwardly sophisticated and rational, Lycaon's innate feral character reveals itself when his partner is in danger. His usually composed demeanor gives way to a fierce protectiveness. He becomes intensely focused and assertive, ensuring that any threat is swiftly dealt with.
As Lycaon and his partner strolled through the bustling marketplace, enjoying the vibrant atmosphere, an aggressive individual suddenly approached them, visibly angry and raising their voice. Instantly, Lycaon's demeanor shifted, his usually calm expression turning dangerous as a low, warning growl rumbled from his throat. He stepped protectively in front of his partner, his posture aggressive. "Is there a problem here?" he growled, his voice deep and menacing, baring his sharp teeth in a silent snarl. The sudden display of his feral nature caused the aggressor to falter, clearly intimidated by the quiet but profound threat in Lycaon’s unwavering stance. "It would be best for you to move along now," he continued, his voice cold and commanding. Seeing Lycaon’s protective instincts in action, his partner felt both reassured and awed by his fierce loyalty. "It's alright," they whispered, gently placing a hand on his arm to calm him. As the aggressor backed away, clearly unnerved, Lycaon gradually relaxed. He turned to his partner, his expression softening significantly. Reaching out, he gently caressed their cheek, his touch tender and protective. "I won't let anyone harm you," he promised in a low, sincere voice.
#fluff#x reader#x you#long reads#headcanons#von lycaon headcanons#von lycaon zzz#zzz von lycaon#von lycaon#zzz#zenless zone zero#zzzero#zenless zone zero lycaon#zenless zone zero x reader#zzz lycaon#zzz x reader#von lycaon x reader#zzz headcanons#zenless zone zero headcanons#lycaon x reader#zenless zone zero von lycaon#zenless zone zero von lycaon x reader#zzz lycaon x reader#zzzero lycaon x reader#lycaon headcanons
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(tw for extensive discussions of dubiously consensual sexual situations, typical to canon. also spoilers for the decay route update)
honestly, one of the most interesting aspects of andrew's psyche that we get to see in the most recent decay route update to me is his nearly unending hesitancy about having sex with ashley, despite both his overwhelming desire to AND her incredibly blasé, Yeah Sure Let's Do It attitude in response to the question.
while the end of the burial route provides some key insight into ashley's point of view regarding this topic (e.g. if you go with the less enthusiastic/more teasing answer to andrew's question of "we're not like that, right? right??"), and the shots & such ending provides even more intrigue into her motivations, i think that decay presents two key reasons as to why andrew has continued to hold back for so long: his two core conflicting desires, and an inability to see ashley as her own full person. notably, both of these parts can easily be connected to his mother's childhood abuse and parentification of him as well.
with regards to the first point: andrew has two main overwhelming desires at the heart of his character that motivate most of his actions, which unfortunately for him are completely incompatible. andrew wants:
to be a normal, average person-- someone who can hold a steady, respectable job, fit in at the block party BBQs, and not attract any negative attention from the neighbors.
to fuck his sister.
to some degree, you could even read the distinction between the two main routes themselves (burial and decay) to be motivated by whether or not andrew can diffuse the tension between these two wants-- in burial, he gives up on his need to fit in with the rest of respectable society, presumably pushing him more towards the fucking-his-sister route; in decay, he struggles significantly to let go of this desire for normalcy, and the stress almost always breaks him. notably, in neither of these routes can he fully give up on the second desire-- really, his relationship with julia and the rest of his life up til the point that ep1 begins has been about him trying and failing to do so, so this makes sense.
(sidenote: i would also like to clarify that i think the Most key distinction between these two routes comes down to the decision you actually have to make to get one or the other-- namely, whether or not the siblings are able to trust one another. but anyways)
this focus on the first desire for normalcy is also interesting in that it seems to be one of the core desires that renee holds as well, as we see her so happily boast about during their interactions in ep2. honestly i could probably write a whole post about how much andrew (consciously or, more often, not) mimics his mother's behavior and takes on her standards and ideals, but the key point to pay attention to here is the fact that andrew has subsumed his mother's viewpoint in such a way that he is either not fully aware of or simply hasn't questioned in all that much depth yet.
we can also see this with the aforementioned parentifiication, which has really interesting consequences on how much andrew does (not) see ashley as her own autonomous person. pretty much every single childhood flashback we get in 3a shows the same terrible cycle:
andrew is told by renee that ashley is His responsibility -> ashley causes problems on purpose -> andrew takes the fall for her
frankly, we don't even really need that first step for andrew to fully internalize the idea that ashley's actions are His to take responsibility for. the horrible consequences of this are also quite obvious: not only is this pressure to take responsibility for someone else's actions an incredibly unfair burden to put on anyone, much less a kid, but it also continually pushes andrew to see ashley as something less than human, or as little more than an extension of himself rather than her own person.
the main conflict in decay really comes down to this conflicting desire between the two of them, where what both andrew and ashley want above all else is Complete and Utter control over the other-- andrew wanting control because he has again been groomed to see ashley as his full responsibility, and ashley wanting control to assuage her own insecurities and fears about being isolated and hated forever. the more sympathetic throughline underlying a lot of this is that what both of them seem to want is safety, to protect both themselves and each other from any and all situations outside of their control-- though, unfortunately, a lot of times those exact external situations are simply the other acting on this mirrored desire for control lol.
anyways, going back to the sex thing-- since andrew doesn't see ashley as her own person, since he sees her as incapable of taking responsibility for her own actions and therefore as someone who cannot make decisions for herself, due in large part to him automatically transferring this burden to himself, andrew also sees ashley's consent as essentially meaningless.
the more sympathetic reading here is that andrew does genuinely want ashley to be at least kinda into it as more than a manipulation tactic/transactional thing-- but i think it's also equally likely that andrew simply doesn't want to have to once again shoulder the full burden of Committing Incest on his own, and he doesn't trust ashley to ever be even capable of taking the fall for her own actions. the fact that andrew still ultimately sees ashley as Leyley and NEVER as Ashley Proper (as he himself recognizes at one point) really just reinforces this to me. he says it himself-- he practically raised this woman. and in this case, even above all others, ashley's actions are quite literally also his own. it all goes back to that initial mistrust, and he carries that resentment with him even after they get around to actually doing it. mutually dubious consent, truly in-fucking-deed.
#tcoaal#astronaut rambles#the coffin of andy and leyley#coffincest#gravecest#writing this in a rush at 1/2 am cuz i have an early class tomorrow and need to go to bed aklsdjflasjk hope this is coherent#wanna write more about the shots and such ending too and esp ashley's behavior there#namely that whole line about how 'you had Good Sex one time when she was wasted'#'but she had a meltdown the next day and you've been chasing that high ever since'#cuz uh. HMM.#really her side to this is equally interesting to me#and especially what it says about how she's internalized her own view of gender roles#but aaa later later i really need to fucking sleep ;w;#GOD but i still can’t believe they literally fucking said#andrew: ‘i don’t wanna fuck you cuz i’d feel like i’m forcing you into it even if i’m not ://’#ashley: ‘OK i’ll just be the one to force you into it instead 😌’#incredible solution girl. problem solving queen
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Bitter Devotion



Karina(Yu Jimin) x Female Reader
Synopsis: When love blossoms between two women, one finds salvation while the other hides a sinister agenda. Lies unravel, hearts break, and a single betrayal threatens to destroy everything.
Word Count:2.2k
— — — — — — —
The first time you met Karina, it was as if the universe had finally decided to show you mercy. You were drowning in the suffocating world your parents had created—a world where love was measured in favors and worth was tied to success. The charity gala was one of many events you'd been forced to attend, another chance for your mother to parade you like an accessory. You'd perfected your role over the years: polite smiles, graceful nods, the right words at the right times. But inside, you felt like a hollow shell.
Karina shattered that the moment she walked into your life.
It was a fleeting interaction at first. She'd introduced herself with an easy confidence, her voice like silk against the din of polite chatter around you.
"You look like someone who's good at pretending to care about all this," she'd said, smirking as she tilted her head toward the ballroom full of polished guests. "But I can tell you don't."
You'd blinked at her, startled. It wasn't often someone saw through you so quickly.
"And you're different?" you asked, your voice teasing but cautious.
"Completely," she said without missing a beat, her eyes locking onto yours. "I'm here for the wine and maybe one interesting conversation. Looks like I just found it."
It was bold, unexpected, and utterly disarming. For the first time in years, you felt the weight on your chest lighten, if only slightly. That night, you laughed more than you had in years. Karina's humor was sharp but never cruel, her insights revealing a depth that left you wanting more.
And more you got.
— — — — —
Karina became a fixture in your life almost overnight. She texted you after the gala, her messages casual but consistent, like she'd known you for years. Lunch dates turned into late-night phone calls, and before you knew it, you were spending nearly every waking moment with her. She was warm in a way no one else had ever been. She remembered the little things—how you liked your coffee, the books you loved but never had time to read, the way you hated the rain but loved the sound of it against the windows.
When you told her about your family—how your mother's cold ambition had shaped your entire life, how your father followed her lead with quiet detachment—Karina listened without judgment. She didn't try to fix anything or offer hollow platitudes. Instead, she gave you something you'd never had before: a safe space to just be.
"I don't know how you survived growing up like that," she'd said one evening, her voice soft as you lay tangled together on the couch. "But I'm glad you did. I'm glad I found you."
Those words had stayed with you, burrowing deep into your heart. For the first time, you felt like someone saw you—not the polished version your parents had crafted, but the raw, unguarded you. Karina made you feel special in a way you didn't think was possible.
— — — — —
The proposal came a year later, under a canopy of stars. Karina had taken you on a surprise trip to a secluded cabin, the kind of place where the world seemed to fall away. You'd spent the evening by the fire, sipping wine and sharing dreams for the future. When she knelt in front of you, holding out a delicate ring, your breath caught.
"I love you," she said, her voice trembling. "More than I ever thought I could love anyone. You've given me a reason to believe in happiness, and I want to spend the rest of my life making you feel as loved as you've made me feel."
Tears blurred your vision as you nodded, barely able to get the word "yes" past the lump in your throat. That night, you felt like you'd finally found the family you'd always longed for.
— — — — —
A year into your marriage, Karina suggested a dinner with your parents. It had been a while since the four of you sat down together, and you hoped it was a sign that things were improving. Karina had been distant lately—her once-effortless affection replaced with brief, almost obligatory gestures. You told yourself it was work stress. She'd been expanding her business, taking on larger clients and more demanding projects.
The dinner started well enough. Your mother was in high spirits, no doubt pleased to have such an impressive daughter-in-law to show off. Karina played her role perfectly, charming your parents with her wit and business acumen. Even your father, typically reserved, seemed taken with her.
"So, Karina," your mother said, swirling her wine. "What's next for you? Surely someone as ambitious as you has a grand plan."
Karina smiled, the picture of grace. "Oh, always," she said lightly. "But right now, I'm focused on building something lasting. Both in business and in life."
Your mother nodded approvingly, clearly pleased with the answer. You felt a swell of pride, convinced once again that Karina was the best thing that had ever happened to you.
— — — — —
Later, as the conversation continued, Karina excused herself to use the bathroom. It wasn't unusual, but something about the way she glanced toward your father's office before leaving the table stuck with you. You brushed it off, focusing instead on your parents' rare moment of warmth.
It wasn't until much later, after dinner had ended and your parents had retired for the night, that you noticed something strange. Passing by your father's office on the way to the kitchen, you saw the light was on. Curious, you pushed the door open slightly and froze.
Karina was at the desk, rifling through papers. She looked up sharply at the sound of the door, her expression unreadable.
"What are you doing?" you asked, your voice low and uncertain.
She straightened, closing the drawer she'd been searching. "I was just looking for a pen," she said smoothly. "Your father mentioned needing to sign something earlier, and I thought I'd save him the trouble."
It was a plausible excuse, but something about it felt off. You wanted to ask more, but the exhaustion of the evening weighed on you, and you let it slide.
— — — — —
Unbeknownst to you, Karina had found exactly what she was looking for. Among the neatly organized files were documents that confirmed her suspicions: years ago, your mother had manipulated Karina's family out of their fortune. Karina's mother had been left destitute, forced to rebuild from nothing while your mother profited from her downfall.
Karina had spent years climbing her way to the top, meticulously crafting the perfect façade to get close to your family. And now, she had everything she needed. Bank statements, contracts, correspondences—proof of your mother's deceit. With this, she could destroy your mother's empire, just as her mother's had been destroyed.
But as she stood there, holding the evidence in her hands, a pang of something unexpected twisted in her chest. She thought of you—your smile, your laugh, the way you'd looked at her when she proposed. For the first time, she hesitated.
— — — — —
Her hesitation didn't last. A week later, your mother was arrested for fraud, her assets seized, her reputation ruined. Karina had orchestrated it all, her plan unfolding flawlessly. But her triumph was hollow. No matter how much she tried to justify her actions, she couldn't shake the image of your tear-streaked face when you learned the truth.
And you would. Because secrets like this never stayed buried for long.
— — — — —
After your mother's arrest, everything changed. Karina didn't seem triumphant or even relieved—she just seemed different. The warmth she once radiated, the way she would reach for your hand without thinking, the lingering kisses that used to make you feel cherished—all of it vanished. She became distant, like a ghost of the woman who had promised to love you forever.
At first, you tried to rationalize it. The stress of the past few weeks, the pressure of running her business—surely those things were taking a toll. But as days turned into weeks, her coldness only grew. She was no longer the Karina who brought you coffee in bed or whispered sweet nothings in the quiet hours of the night. Instead, she snapped at you over small things, ignored your attempts to connect, and retreated into her office for hours at a time.
— — — — —
One evening, after another strained dinner, you tried to confront her.
"Karina, what's going on?" you asked, your voice trembling with a mixture of frustration and sadness. "You've been so... distant. Did I do something wrong?"
She didn't even look up from her phone. "You're imagining things," she said flatly, scrolling through emails.
"I'm not imagining it," you pressed, your chest tightening. "You barely talk to me anymore. You don't even look at me the same way."
Her eyes flicked to you, cold and unreadable. "Not everything is about you, you know. Maybe I'm just tired."
Her words hit like a slap, leaving you momentarily speechless. Tired? That was her excuse for the growing chasm between you?
"Karina, I love you," you said softly, desperately. "I just want to help. Please talk to me."
She sighed, setting her phone down with deliberate slowness. "Maybe I don't need help. Maybe you should stop trying to fix things that aren't broken."
The words were like daggers, and you felt tears prick your eyes. She had never spoken to you like this before, and the pain of her indifference was almost unbearable.
— — — — —
The weeks that followed were no better. Karina became colder, her dismissive tone and distant attitude leaving you reeling. She started staying out late without explanation, her phone glued to her hand whenever she was home. The intimacy you'd once shared was gone, replaced by a suffocating silence that made your heart ache.
One night, unable to sleep, you wandered into the kitchen to get some water. As you passed Karina's office, you heard her voice through the slightly ajar door. Curious, and more than a little desperate for answers, you paused.
"No, everything went according to plan," she was saying, her tone sharp and businesslike. "Her mother's assets were seized, and the old woman's in prison where she belongs."
Your blood turned to ice.
"She never saw it coming," Karina continued, her voice tinged with something cruel. "It was almost too easy. Playing the devoted wife was the perfect cover."
Your stomach dropped as you clung to the doorframe for support, your mind racing to make sense of what you were hearing. Playing the devoted wife? What was she talking about?
"Yes, I used her," Karina said, her voice colder than you'd ever heard. "She was just a means to an end. The perfect way to get close to her family."
Your heart shattered as the full weight of her words sank in. Every tender moment, every whispered promise—it had all been a lie. Tears streamed down your face as you stood frozen, unable to move or speak.
Karina's next words cut through you like a knife: "No, I don't regret it. Her family got what they deserved. And she... she was just collateral damage."
That was it. The world seemed to tilt on its axis, your breath hitching as a sob escaped your throat. Before you could stop yourself, you pushed the door open, your voice trembling with pain and fury.
"Tell me it's not true," you demanded, your tears falling freely. "Tell me I didn't just hear you say that."
Karina's head snapped up, her face a mask of shock and guilt. For a moment, she seemed at a loss for words, but the coldness quickly returned to her expression.
"You shouldn't eavesdrop," she said, her voice devoid of emotion.
Her dismissiveness made something inside you snap. "Eavesdrop?" you repeated, your voice rising. "Karina, you used me! You lied to me, to my face! Was any of it real? Any of it at all?"
For a brief moment, you saw something flicker in her eyes—regret, sorrow, maybe even love. But it was gone as quickly as it came, replaced by the icy mask you'd come to dread.
"It doesn't matter," she said quietly. "What's done is done."
You stared at her, your chest heaving as the weight of her betrayal crushed you. "You promised me forever," you whispered, your voice breaking. "I loved you. I trusted you. And you used me like I was nothing."
Karina looked away, her jaw tightening. "You were never nothing," she said, almost too softly to hear.
But it wasn't enough. It would never be enough.
— — — — —
You turned and stumbled out of the room, your vision blurred by tears. Karina didn't follow you, didn't call your name. You made it to your bedroom before collapsing onto the floor, your sobs echoing in the empty space.
In the silence that followed, one thought consumed you: Was this love ever real, or had it always been a beautifully crafted lie?
And in her office, Karina sat alone, her phone still in her hand, staring at the door you'd just walked through. For the first time in her life, she felt the weight of her choices—but pride kept her rooted in place. Even if she wanted to chase after you, she couldn't bring herself to do it.
Not yet.
#aespa x reader#aespa fluff#aespa karina#aespa imagines#aespa angst#karina x fem reader#karina#yu jimin x reader#yu jimin#aespa x fem reader#aespa x you#aespa x y/n
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Our fourth edition of the Black History Month Author Spotlight series, features Becky (@losergames)!
(I’ve been in awe of Becky’s multi-talents (art, writing, coding, excuse me??) for a long time now, and am super excited to get to interview her and introduce her awesome game, Chop Shop! The portion on morality and finding a middle-ground between harmful stereotypes of “bad” POC characters and angelic, one-dimensional ones who can do no wrong was a really interesting and insightful take.)
Author: Becky
Hello hello!!! I’m Becky! I am a black bisexual woman from the UK, lover of games, TV and food. I have a Bachelor's degree in Animation & Visual Effects and currently work as a technician at a college 😁
Games: Chop Shop (crime, action, LGBTQ+, meaningful choices)
Short blurb: A crime action interactive fiction game.
Quote from the interview
There are a few main themes I keep in mind about when writing Chop Shop but the big one I think everyone understands is morality. What is right and wrong, and the various shades of grey in between, has been written about a thousand times in a thousand ways but it is continuously interesting to me in a changing world. What does it mean to be a bad person doing good things and a good person doing bad things? Is there a chance for redemption? What are the consequences? Race and class are also massive factors, made all the more complicated when we’re looking at sets of characters on either side of the PC’s life. I want to write black and other characters of colour make bad, questionable, and unredeemable decisions whilst also remaining aware of stereotypes and archetypes. I want them to be loud, messy, and rude, attributes that are always attached to minorities, but I also want them to be smart, calculating, and deceptive. I think a lot of people are scared to do so and we end up with plain, can-do-no-wrongers that lack any depth.
Read on for the full interview!
Can you tell me a bit about what you’re working on right now and your journey into interactive fiction? What inspired the game/story you’re currently writing?
I am currently working on the crime action interactive fiction Chop Shop. There are a mix of inspirations that went into Chop Shop but above all else I’d say the kicker was my circumstances at the time.
During covid I walked away from the WORST job I’ve ever had and moved back home, which I realised a while after was an extremely huge blessing. I had a major burnout and was processing what my ex-managers had put me and my colleagues through. So, in my freetime I was playing a lot of cyoa/ romance games (shoutout Love Island the game) and found a whole fandom that also enjoyed them.
I made some friends, did art commissions, and wrote some fanfic here and there, yadda yadda. A close friend recommended I try out a very popular COG game at the time (🧛) and it all spiraled from there. I fell in love with the format, endless creativity, and community and never looked back.
I loved the Need For Speed games as a kid, the og Most Wanted, Carbon, and Underground 2 are, in my eyes, amongst the masterpieces of games from the 2000s. It got to the point I was going over to friends houses just to play on their PS2 lmao. I am also a Fast and Furious fiend (shock) and I will defend that god awful series till I die. Fast forward to being a teenager/ young adult I’ve become a massive fan of fictional crime shows. Breaking Bad will always be my first love, but I also love The Sopranos, Fargo, The Wire and more.
How has your identity, heritage/background, upbringing, or personal experiences influenced your storytelling or writing process? OR How does your work feature aspects of your identity / experience?
The real catalyst for Chop Shop was my previous job. A lot of the PC’s experiences are based off my own. A few examples I love sharing are how I had to make breakfast for my boss every morning and had to keep the office freezer stocked with a specific supermarket ice lolly because he ‘needed’ one every day at 3pm. I truly wish I was making this up because people think I’m crazy when I tell them. But I really was catering to a man-child because I was desperately trying to get my foot into a creative industry. Woof!!!
That said, the industry I wanted to work in was and still is extremely competitive. I came out of uni with a tonne of friends, but also a tonne of competition. It stung very badly to see my peers excel and surpass me when it came to careers but that’s just a part of becoming an adult. That life really was not for me and I’m glad I’m out of it now.
My mother is an extremely influential person in my life. Bits and pieces of her stick with me, not just in my writing but my every day. She’s worked in corporate all her life, from the early 80s and still to this day. She laughs about it now but she tells stories about the times she was laughed out of meetings or undermined by subordinates because she was a black woman in positions that were not occupied by minorities. It hurts to think about but I can only dream of having the type of strength she does.
Now that I think about it, Chop Shop is a massive fuck you to the past.
Are there any specific themes or messages you hope players take away from your work?
There are a few main themes I keep in mind about when writing Chop Shop but the big one I think everyone understands is morality. What is right and wrong, and the various shades of grey in between, has been written about a thousand times in a thousand ways but it is continuously interesting to me in a changing world. What does it mean to be a bad person doing good things and a good person doing bad things? Is there a chance for redemption? What are the consequences?
Race and class are also massive factors, made all the more complicated when we’re looking at sets of characters on either side of the PC’s life. I want to write black and other characters of colour make bad, questionable, and unredeemable decisions whilst also remaining aware of stereotypes and archetypes. I want them to be loud, messy, and rude, attributes that are always attached to minorities, but I also want them to be smart, calculating, and deceptive. I think a lot of people are scared to do so and we end up with plain, can-do-no-wrongers that lack any depth.
What does your writing process look like? Any rituals or habits? Any tips, tricks, philosophies or approaches that have worked very well for you?
I write way better outside of my bedroom. I know writing is supposed to be fun and a hobby but sometimes it’s… not. If I get stressed out in my room, it’s all a mess. The brain needs to be away from where I sleep to get work done. Last summer, when all the teachers were on holiday time, I was the only one in my department for weeks and it was the best writing stint I ever had haha.
Oh and I keep a huge spreadsheet. All the episode breakdowns, outlines, character details etc. It looks insane to anyone else but it is my prized baby.
Do you have favourite interactive fiction games, characters, scenes or authors that you’d like to recommend?
My goto game rec is always 180 Files: The Aegis Project. So quick and punchy, more narrative/plot than romance focused. The action sequences are fun and the interactions are so delicious, ugh. I love it. I’ve played it at least 20 times to get the different endings and it’s never not satisfying, just… chefs kiss. I’m also really enjoying Thicker Than right now AAHHH I NEED TO CATCH UP!!!
Any books, music, movies etc. you’re obsessed with at the moment, or which changed your life (or perspectives on something)?
Not anything specific but I do have some books I’d like to recommend to my fellow black readers:
The Psychosis of Whiteness: Surviving the Insanity of a Racist World by Nicola Rollock
Black Skin, White Masks by Franz Fanon
The Strangers: Five Extraordinary Black Men and the Worlds That Made Them by Ekow Eshun
Black England: A Forgotten Georgian History by Gretchen Gerzina
The Hard Road To Renewal by Stuart Hall
Honestly I’d recommend anything by Stuart Hall lmao. RIP king, you would be shocked at the media literacy today.
This-or-that segment: (bold = Becky's pick)
Coffee or tea?
Early mornings or late nights?
City or countryside?
Angsty or Cozy romances? (Or enemies-to-lovers or best-friends-to-lovers?)
Steady progress or frenzied binge-writing followed by periods of calm?
Summer or Winter?
First drafts or editing?
Introvert or extrovert?
Plotter or pantser?
Characters or plot first?
Becky’s custom “either-or” pairing: Driver or passenger?
#chop shop if#interactive fiction#if#author spotlight#black history month#interview feature#interact-if
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i'm reading a new interview tim downie gave about gale and it offers some of tim's own headcanons about gale, as well as tim's thoughts and insights on gale's character:
Nerds & Beyond: I like that you mentioned that the game is full of rounded characters because they are, they all have different aspects that make them feel real. I adore that Gale specifically is so serious and studious, but at the same time he has this really playful side — he often jokes about how he was a mischievous youth, he encourages other people like Arabella to do so, he understands when The Dark Urge first mentions their violent thoughts. There is a lot of nuance and depth there. But the quality that I love with Gale most is that obviously he is very ill when we first meet him – not that we know immediately – and he’s dealing with a lot of chronic pain. I find him incredibly selfless because he takes that day-to-day head on to help the party, which is an aspect I feel continues to show throughout the three acts. What’s your favorite quality of Gale’s, or what did you take away from him? Tim Downie: It’s so interesting hearing you say that, because I had so many different feedbacks about what people take from the character and sometimes things really surprise you. It’s interesting hearing that such and such has taken that particular aspect, because there are broad things like “He’s funny,” and that’s quite nice, that’s a nice trait, though not one you necessarily get to see that much. It’s so interesting hearing other people’s views about what they take from Gale. The idea of dealing with chronic pain I found really interesting and an interesting subplot to play, and that was the great thing about doing something like this is that it is so unbelievably nuanced. You have so many layers that just keep going and going and going, as much as we all contain multitudes within ourselves. We all deal with these things, but only certain things pop up to the surface at any given point. What did I take from Gale, though? I liked his studiousness. I would imagine that he was probably bullied as a kid for it, and he was probably a bit of a joker because he was bullied, and he uses that as a defense. But an even bigger defense for him is “I now know stuff that I didn’t before,” and that’s a power. It’s very similar to when you are being bullied and you’re the funny one – that’s your power, that’s your thing. “I may not be able to hurt you in a traditional sense, but I can say things that will make you feel pain,” which is a very different thing because you physically can’t go after them. That’s the wonderful thing about acting and this character as well is being able to explore all these things that you might not have, that you might have gone, “I’m not gonna look at that again, I don’t want to deal with that,” and then it brings it up again and it’s like, “Oh, this is actually quite cathartic,” to re-explore these these moments of sorrow and loss and how you deal with grief and things like that and heartbreak and how you get over that. It’s not all just tears, you do try and make a joke of it.
i really like that they are addressing the topic of gale's chronic pain. it's something that doesn't get addressed often, not even in the game itself.
i also found his answer as to why people might connect to gale very nice:
Nerds & Beyond: Gale is the most popular origin character to play as. What is it about him that you think allows so many different players to connect with him to the depths the fandom has? Tim Downie: I really don’t know. I think you’d have to ask the players that, ‘cause I don’t know, to be quite honest with you. He’s a wizard, and who wouldn’t want to be a wizard at the end of the day? I always say the difference between wizards and sorcerers is that sorcerers just pretend – they just assume they know what they’re doing, but a wizard has really learned this trade. And so there’s that kind of weight of knowledge and learning, which I would love to play as and be for a length of time. I think it’s also the frailties. I like characters, and a lot of people do I’m assuming, that have flaws, otherwise you’ve made them completely unapproachable. To be completely superhuman or completely extraordinary at something then removes the humanity from it because it becomes like, “Well, that’s never gonna happen.” But when there’s a flaw, when there’s, “Oh, I’ve got that wrong, too,” or like, “My knees hurt” as you say, or “I’ve got a bit of a headache. I really don’t want to do this,” “You’re really annoying me, this is very annoying, could you please hurry up?” or “Stop licking the damn thing,” it’s always those moments that are fun because it shows what we’re all thinking at that point, it removes it from almost archetype and stereotype and it becomes human in a way.
gale is approachable and likeable, has flaws, but is genuinely nice. i think that very much sums up his character.
this bit here made me laugh:
Nerds & Beyond: When you’re talking about those different layers in the humanity building, I think one of the most important aspects in this game is the more “background” or passive dialogue, so dialogue that is prompted in the world and not in the cut scenes. For instance — the first time I made Gale sneak he immediately complained about his knees, and it was such a real moment where he was just like, “Oh, don’t make me do this. This is not what I’m here for, I’ve got bad knees and I’m not made for this.” Did you have any of those background lines or moments that stick out as being particularly fun to craft? Tim Downie: I remember the first time I ever had to do waiting, I found it infinitely interesting in so many ways. The idea that I did actually just have to wait and just actually, “Hmm…” Those little things I find really funny because they’re probably the closest to me that the character ever gets. His waiting mannerisms are kind of very English – slightly annoyed and I’m not going to show it to you though because we’re all being very nice, but I’ll do it with a huff and a slightly sarcastic, “Well, that’s great. Another 20 minutes. That’s great.” Those kinds of sentiments I found wonderful and incredibly fun, and funny, to do.
if you want to read the whole interview for yourself, you can do so here!
#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#baldur's gate 3#bg3#baldurs gate 3#tim downie#ch: gale dekarios#actor: tim downie#vg: baldur's gate 3#series: baldur's gate#please keep in mind that this is not canon and just tim sharing his thoughts#i'd just like to add that as a general disclaimer
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The Cost Of Humanity: The Price Caitlyn pays
**Spoilers For All Of Arcane**
The discourse around Caitlyn's fall from grace and eventual redemption continues to be all over the place. I honestly struggle to think of examples from recent media that can compare when talking about the complexity and humanity of her arc, yet people continue to paint her with their broad-stroke, virtue signaling generalizations. Things like this, are why I started doing this in the first place.
Because as much as I have come to love doing these deep dives, and these character analyses, and how I learn along the way and learn new insights from all of you, peoples determination in disrespecting such a masterfully crafted story that is so full of heart, and depth, offends me to my core. As I have said repeatedly throughout my posts like a grouchy nerdy broken record, GOOD STORIES MATTER.
This is not about ships, it is not about favorite characters, and it is not about your right to like, or dislike her character. If you feel questioned by this post, I am not questioning your opinion of a character, I am questioning your ability empathize and see the humanity in a twenty-four year old girl, who has had every pillar upon which she bases her perception of the world VIOLENTLY changed.
To that end, what I am discussing this evening is the cost of Caitlyn's mistakes regarding her assuming the role of Commander and what follows. This is not about how she redeems herself, although I have spoken on that and do feel they did a masterful job in achieving it. This is not a deep dive into her fall from grace, the causes, or rather or not I believe it was justified. This is solely to address the following tidbit of lunacy and all of its variations that are still floating around.
"So Caitlyn's arc is that she becomes a war criminal and gasses kids and goes full KKK and she gets to ride off into the sunset with Vi with the only consequence being an eye patch?"
Physical:
As the easiest of consequences to measure, let's take a look at the effects Caitlyn suffers to her body as a result of her mistakes. For this I will focus on the battle at the end of the show, although she is certainly wounded in various ways in the commune.
Maddie's Betrayal- We will speak more on this when I move to mental, but Maddie literally hits her in the head twice with a rifle stock. Concussions anyone? Skull Fractures?
Stabbed - Stabbed in the stomach with Ambessa's blade up to the hilt. Now I am not a doctor and freely admit that I know nothing about the severity in the wound in terms of placement. And in a world with shimmer healing and such things obviously we can't strictly hold to real world rules. But a simple google search suggested the following as possible long term complications of such a wound: " intestinal obstruction due to scar tissue adhesions, intra-abdominal abscesses, bowel perforation, delayed bleeding from damaged blood vessels, abdominal hernias, chronic pain"
Kicked- Kicked square in the midsection with a knife in her gut. Seems healthy
Head slammed into concrete- Ambessa using her skull-crusher legs sweeps Caitlyn off of her feet slamming her head into the ground (Please Note: Caitlyn is shown clearly struggling at this point tremendously to rise)
Kicked Again- Once again kicked in the midsection with a knife in her gut
Ankle- Ambessa pins Caitlyn's ankle to the ground by force and kicks her leg out from under her before backhanding her
Headbutt- After dazing her with the backhand, Ambessa full on headbutts her with her mask on
Kicked yet again- This time completely off of her feet
Loses her left eye- Her sacrifice to stop Ambessa.
Returning to the stab wound- She did all of this with the knife in her. Tearing and exacerbating that wound.
This was one fight. Don't mistake me, Caitlyn has become an absolute warrior as the show has gone on and is an amazing fighter. But she twenty four, and only a short time ago was still very much in her sheltered life. Ambessa Medarda is a LITERAL WARLORD.
Mental/Emotional:
**I'm sure there are things I'm going to leave off of this. But this is just what I am thinking of in the moment. This is NOT a bashing on her list. This is what I feel the kind and courageous woman we know she always been is going to have to work through in the aftermath.**
Violet- Thankfully she and Vi have found their way back to one another. And while I love their reuniting, I don't think its unfair to suggest there is still quite a bit of healing ahead of them. Vi was not without blame in what happened between them (not justifying what Cait did to her at all, just that neither of them are perfect and were going through a terrible time). But ultimately Caitlyn has to make peace with the fact that she left the woman she loves crying alone in that chamber, and that that heartbreak sent Vi into a spiral that very easily could have killed her. When you add to that the loss of Vander, Isha and Jinx in Vi's life these are all things a woman like Cait is going to struggle not to blame herself completely for.
Zaun- The early show does an excellent job establishing that Caitlyn does not share the classist and oppressive attitudes of others in her social circle. But at her most lost, she bears responsibility for the full military occupation of Zaun, imprisoning its citizens, and likely the death of more than a few at the hands of the Noxians who Caitlyn allowed to be there . And that is to say nothing of the actions of the strike team, or that it is Vi's home.
Maddie- The woman she invited into her bed to distract herself from the loss of Vi, came as close as someone could have to executing her right then and there. Someone she never realized was a spy, prepared to shoot her the back of the neck. I think the trauma here is obvious.
Death Toll- The deathtoll and destruction of the war are going to weigh on her. They just are. It is clearly not actually all her fault, But as I have stated, and as anyone who pays attention will have seen, Caitlyn IS A GOOD PERSON. Yes, I'm sorry, I know some of you want to pretend otherwise because you have the emotional depth of a teaspoon. But she is. And there is simply no way she does not feel the weight of the loss brought on in part by a woman she allowed to seize control.
Mental trauma from injuries- On top of the base physical component of her wounds, Caitlyn was quite nearly beaten to death. Speaking as someone who has been in a bad fight (nowhere near this obviously) it's not something you just forget. Not to mention the impact to her shooting which has been such a major part of her since she was younger.
I could go farther with all of this but you get the idea. Caitlyn is so.... so young. I and so many others have gone on at length detailing her arc, her grief, her trauma and all of the other components that make up this part of her story. I encourage you to read them if you are interested. This list of her suffering and of the suffering she will feel guilt for is not about what she does or does not deserve. As stated, that's not why I wrote this. I wrote this because as I stated in a much shorter look at this topic, you literally have to try to miss the consequences of Caitlyn's actions. You have to blind yourself in the name of being able to place whatever hashtag makes you feel righteous in condemning her character. If you want to say the reparations to Zaun were not fully addressed in the course of the show, okay I can give you that. But I would remind of you two things:
Caitlyn surrenders her family seat on the council to Sevika. For the first time as we understand it, the undercity now has a voice.
This show is not the end of the story. From the beginning Arcane has been our door into this universe, not out of it.
Listen folks, I'm not actually crazy. I understand it's a tv show. But as I have and will always continue to say, good stories matter. There is a reason fables and epics stretch back throughout our history as a species. Yes, of course for entertainment, yes of course to impart lessons or wisdom. But that belief that we can conquer our own darkness, that we can stand in the breach against those who would bring death to the innocent, and that can find redemption, these beliefs and many more have guided the best and worst parts of us for all time.
As always, thank you so much to any of you who take the time to read the rantings of a lunatic. I cannot express to you all the joy I have felt engaging in this community and celebrating this epic tale. I can't wait to see what they have for us next. Until next time, keep standing up for the stories that stay with us.
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The MOST Difficult Birth Chart Placements

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
DISCLAIMER
The descriptions of difficult placements are based on astrological teachings and are not definitive or absolute. It is important to remember that every individual is unique, and a natal chart should be considered holistically. Challenging placements can also present opportunities for growth and personal development. The purpose of this post is to affirm your life experience.
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
8H MOON or 12H MOON
Having an 8H Moon means dealing with deep transformations & crises. This placement often brings you face-to-face with your deepest fears, traumas, and hidden desires. Every experience seems to touch you on a soul-deep level. Crises and intense situations are a part of your emotional journey, and they shape who you are in significant ways. It’s like life keeps pushing you to transform, to shed old skins and emerge anew, stronger and more resilient each time.
But this depth also means you carry a lot inside. Your emotional world is complex and layered, full of nuances that others might not easily understand. You might struggle with trusting people, afraid to let them see the raw, vulnerable parts of you. It can be lonely, carrying these intense feelings, but it also gives you incredible strength & insight into complex emotions others shy away from or suppress.
With a 12H Moon, subconscious struggles and hidden fears are brought to the surface. This placement may feel like your emotions are a mystery even to you, often leading to a sense of isolation or self-undoing (unless managed). Moon in the 12H brings your unconscious thought patterns to light, making your emotions feel elusive and hard to pin down–almost like trying to catch smoke with your hands.
You might find yourself wrestling with feelings that you can’t quite understand or explain. This can manifest in moments of self-undoing, where your unresolved issues pull you into patterns of self-sabotage.
It’s tough because your emotions are so deeply buried that it’s hard to bring them to light. But acknowledging these hidden parts of yourself is the first step toward healing. Learn to listen to those quiet, internal nudges and understanding that it’s okay to feel lost sometimes. Sit in the uncertainty, you will find the way.
CAPRICORN OR AQUARIUS MOON
Saturn-ruled moons often equate vulnerability with weakness, and this fear can prevent them from forming deep emotional connections. This placement can also symbolize having a strong sense of responsibility from a young age, therefore feeling burdened by the need to succeed and provide. Remember those times when you felt like you had to grow up faster than everyone else? While other kids were playing, you were already thinking about the future, about success, about PROVIDING. It’s a heavy burden to carry, and it can make you feel like you’re constantly walking uphill.
This placement means you’re incredibly disciplined, which is a strength, no doubt. But it also means you might feel an overwhelming pressure to succeed. You set the bar HIGH, and anything less than perfection feels like failure. It’s a relentless but exhausting drive, a need to always prove yourself, to always be enough.
Imagine carrying a backpack filled with rocks, each one representing a responsibility, a fear, a self-imposed standard. How much lighter would you feel if you could set that backpack down, even just for a moment? Vulnerability is a form of courage. It’s saying, “Here I am, with all my flaws and fears,” and still showing up.
SCORPIO OR ARIES MOON
Mars-ruled Moons feel things INTENSELY, but that can get overwhelming. For Scorpio, there's a push & pull, as you navigate through the intensity of your emotions or deep-seated fears. Trust is a big deal for you, and it doesn’t come easily. You’ve probably been hurt before, and those wounds run deep. It’s hard to let people in when you’re constantly bracing for the next betrayal or disappointment. You build walls around your heart, not because you don’t want to love, but because you’re scared of what might happen if you do.
Jealousy and possessiveness can creep in, adding to the emotional turmoil. When you care about someone, you care fiercely, and the thought of losing them can drive you to places you don’t want to go. It’s not that you want to control them, but the fear of losing them or being hurt again can be overwhelming.
This intensity is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, it gives you a deep, intuitive understanding of others. You can see through facades and connect with people on a profound level. On the other hand, it can feel like you’re constantly battling with your own emotions, trying to find a balance between holding on and letting go.
You’re a warrior (Mars) in your own right, fighting battles that most people can’t even see. It’s okay to feel vulnerable and to acknowledge that this emotional intensity is a part of who you are. It’s okay to take things slow, to let trust build over time, and to find ways to soothe that inner turmoil.
Instead, Aries Moons feel everything intensely & immediately–your emotions can flare up quickly. Patience isn’t your strongest suit, so you might find yourself reacting before even having time to think things through, pointing to emotional burnout. When you get mad, you get MAD. Your temper can flare up in an instant, and before you know it, you’ve reacted without even thinking things through.Your emotions are right there bubbling on the surface, ready to explode. Of course, this can lead to misunderstandings and clashes with the people around you.
But here’s the thing, you also bring energy and excitement to everything you do. When you’re happy, you light up the room: your enthusiasm is contagious. It’s okay to acknowledge that this intensity can be tough to handle. It’s okay to admit that sometimes, you need to step back and breathe before reacting. Learning to take a moment, to pause and reflect, can help you manage those quick flares of emotion and prevent burnout.
1H SATURN OR SATURN CONJUNCT ASCENDANT
This placement can indicate that you’ve had to grow up fast, carrying a sense of responsibility that kids your age didn’t even think about. There’s this underlying pressure to be perfect, to always have it together, to be the rock for everyone else. In those moments when the burden feels too heavy, remember that it’s okay to put it down for a while. It’s okay to take care of yourself and to recognize your own worth, not just for what you do, but for who you are. You’re not alone in this journey, and it’s okay to ask for help. Carrying the weight has made you strong, but sharing the load can make you even stronger.
1H PLUTO
Power struggles, constantly re-inventing yourself & healing the deep issues that people usually shy away from, are a big theme for 1H Pluto. You might find yourself on the brink of change every 5 business days, asserting your dominance & affirming your power. There are moments when everything feels like it’s crumbling around you, and you’re left to pick up the pieces and start anew. It’s exhausting and can make you feel like you’re never truly settled, never truly yourself. But each time you rebuild, you become stronger, more resilient, and more in tune with your true self.
4H PLUTO
This placement can symbolize a tumultuous home life, where finding a sense of stability & security was incredibly difficult. These dynamics may have left deep emotional scars, making you wary of getting too close or trusting people too easily. Your home environment might have been complex, with unspoken rules and hidden agendas shaping your early experiences. Growing up might have felt like walking on eggshells, never knowing when the next emotional storm would hit. You know what it’s like to face the darkness and come out the other side. You’ve learned to navigate emotional depths that others might shy away from, and this makes you incredibly strong and compassionate.
VENUS SQUARE/OPPOSITE SATURN, CAPRICORN OR AQUARIUS VENUS:
You might feel like there’s an invisible barrier blocking you from truly connecting with others–but it's not that you don’t want closeness—it’s that you’re terrified of being hurt, of opening up and then being rejected. This fear can make it hard to let people in, even when your heart is longing for connection. You might find yourself questioning if you’re worthy of love. There’s this lingering doubt that no matter how much you give or how hard you try, it’s never enough. This can lead to a cycle of pushing people away just when they start to get close, out of fear that they’ll leave you first. It’s a defense mechanism, but one that often leaves you feeling even more isolated and lonely. These struggles aren’t just in your head—they’re real, and they’re tough. But recognizing them is the first step towards healing. It’s about understanding that this aspect of your chart isn’t a life sentence, but it’s a challenge to be faced and overcome. Remember, you are worthy of love and affection just as you are. The journey might be tough, but it’s one that leads to deeper, more meaningful connections and a stronger sense of self. Embrace your vulnerability, because it’s through facing these fears that you’ll find true, lasting love.
12H MARS
This can be a tough placement because it often feels like you’re fighting battles no one else can see. There’s a tendency towards self-sabotage, as the aggressive energy of Mars turns inward. You might find yourself in situations where you feel unable to express the intensity of your emotions or assert your power. You may even find it hard to assert yourself openly, leading to suppressed anger & frustration that festers over time. The key is flipping the script, and working on empowering yourself, healing self-sabotaging tendencies, etc. Your subconscious isn’t your enemy, but a part of you that needs acknowledgment and care.
4H MARS
You might have grown up in an environment where arguments & tensions were the norm, leaving you feeling constantly on edge, scared, or unsettled. This placement can make it hard to find peace at home, and you might struggle with feeling safe & secure in your adult life. Finding healthy outlets for your anger and learning to create a sense of security within yourself can help transform that destabilizing, Mars energy into something positive. It can help you break the cycle of conflict and create a home environment that nurtures you rather than wounds.
1H CHIRON
Chiron in the 1H feels like carrying a wound that no one else can see, but that you can always feel. It's a deep pain tied to your identity, that constant struggle with self-acceptance & stepping out of your shell. You might often find yourself second-guessing who you are, feeling like you need to hide parts of yourself to be accepted. It’s like wearing a mask, trying to be who you think others want you to be because being your true self feels too risky. Maybe you faced criticism that cut deep and left scars on your self-esteem. This can make stepping into the spotlight, or even just being comfortable in your own skin, incredibly challenging. But, as you work through your own pain, you become a beacon of hope and support for others. Your vulnerability becomes your strength, showing others that it’s okay to have wounds, to feel out of place and that healing is possible. In embracing your true self, flaws and all, you inspire others to do the same.
This is Part 1! Let me know if you want to see more placements and the difficulties they can indicate.
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
Thank you for taking the time to read my post! Your curiosity & engagement mean the world to me. I hope you not only found it enjoyable but also enriching for your astrological knowledge. Your support & interest inspire me to continue sharing insights & information with you. I appreciate you immensely. • 🕸️ JOIN MY PATREON for exquisite & in-depth astrology content. You'll also receive a free mini reading upon joining. :) • 🗡️ BOOK A READING with me to navigate your life with more clarity & awareness.
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
#astro community#astro observations#astrology#astrology signs#horoscope#zodiac#capricorn#aquarius#aries#scorpio#chiron#mars#pluto#astrology tips#astrology notes#zodiac signs#astrology readings#astro notes#astrology placements#astrologer#astro placements#astro posts#zodiac observations#zodiacsigns
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Aaaa sorry 😱 then for the last request, instead of cheating then they *think* the reader is cheating on them but it's their own paranoia? And how they apologize the reader when find out the truth if possible!
It’s not how I think it is, right?
Yandere Skz paranoia drives them to ensure, in their own way, that you’ll never leave them.
Hyung line, Maknae line
Stray kids masterlist
Your insights and reactions make these posts come alive. Love reblogs, comments, and all the good vibes welcome ✨
Chan
Paranoia consumed him more and more each day, gnawing at his mind until every thought spiraled into fear. He thought too much, overanalyzing every situation, convinced that his world would collapse if he ever lost you. What began as mild overthinking soon grew into deep anxiety, and from there, into wild accusations. Chan’s grip on your hand tightened, his fingers digging into your skin with such force it felt like he might break them. His eyes, bloodshot and wide with panic, betrayed the depth of his inner turmoil. His breathing grew ragged and uneven, and no matter how much you tried to explain, your words fell on deaf ears. He barely heard you, so wrapped up in his own spiraling fears. Anger blazed in his eyes, making him seem larger, more dangerous, and you could feel the power in his grasp—how insignificant you were in comparison. The tears streamed down your face, your quiet sobs filling the room as fear settled deep in your chest. "I told you, you are mine!" he bellowed, his voice booming and harsh.
The force of his words made you flinch, and in that moment, you realized just how powerless you were beneath the weight of his obsession. "And anyone who dares to take you away…" Chan’s voice wavered, anger and unshed tears burning in his eyes as he stared at you, fragile and cornered on the floor. "If you're with someone else…" His words faltered, swallowed by the storm of rage and imagined betrayals in his mind. His fists clenched, trembling with barely contained fury. "I swear, I’ll make you—and them—regret it." His voice dripped with venom, his jealousy threatening to consume you both. After the storm of his anger had passed, you were left locked in your room, the silence almost as heavy as the tension that lingered. When the door finally opened, Chan stepped inside quietly, his movements slow, the rage that once consumed him now gone. He sat on the edge of the bed, visibly drained, his voice low and almost trembling. "I’m just scared," he began, his eyes searching yours, but finding only fear—fear that he had caused.
"Losing you… that’s my biggest fear," he continued, his words soft but filled with desperation. "I don’t care about anything else—nothing else matters to me. Not the money, not the success. Just not you." His eyes were pleading, his vulnerability stark. "I love you so much, it hurts." His voice cracked, and for a moment, he seemed on the verge of breaking. He scanned your face again, but the fear still lingered in your gaze, a reminder of the damage his obsession had done. His confession was full of regret, but also a chilling reminder of the intensity of his obsession. Even as he spoke of love, the desperation in his words revealed how tightly he clung to the idea of keeping you, no matter the cost. Yet, despite all that had happened, despite the fear you still felt, there was something heartbreaking in his vulnerability. For a moment, he was not the angry man who had lost control, but someone terrified of being abandoned, consumed by a love that had turned into something suffocating. "Please forgive me."
Minho
The moment Minho's behavior started to change, you could feel something was off. It wasn’t just his usual brooding or moments of silence that came from him being lost in thought. This was different, darker. He grew unusually quiet, his eyes sharp and glaring, as if constantly battling something in his mind. You could see the wheels turning in his head, overthinking every little detail, but it was more than that—his entire demeanor shifted. What started as silent withdrawal soon turned into something more aggressive. He became harsh, his actions no longer gentle or restrained. Without warning, he snatched your phone from your hand, his grip on it tight as if the device itself held some dark secret he needed to uncover. His grip on your wrist grew harder, the pressure making you wince, but he didn’t seem to notice—or didn’t care. The tension in the room thickened, and you knew something had snapped inside him. He began questioning everyone around him, paranoia creeping into his voice. "Look at me," he demanded, his tone sharp, his eyes dark and burning with suspicion.
"Tell me who he is." His voice was low but laced with an edge that sent shivers down your spine. He wasn't just asking; he was accusing, as if he already believed the worst. Then, without warning, he grabbed your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. His fingers dug into your skin, and his eyes bore into yours, searching for answers in your expression, something to confirm his darkest fears. The intensity of his stare was suffocating, as if he could see straight into your soul, peeling back every layer to uncover whatever he imagined was hidden there. There was no escape from the weight of his suspicion, his paranoia wrapped around you like a vise, tightening with every second. But he listened to your words, barely holding onto control, his emotions teetering on the edge. You could see him trying, struggling to rein in the storm inside him. Then, without warning, he pulled you into a fierce, aggressive kiss, the force of it catching you off guard. His grip tightened, his need for reassurance almost desperate. "Tell me again," he breathed against your lips, his voice raw and demanding, "that I’m the only person you need."
His eyes burned with intensity, searching for the comfort he craved in your response, as if your words alone could silence the turmoil inside him. As the words he demanded slipped from your mouth, you could feel the tension in his body ease just slightly. His grip loosened, and he rested his forehead gently against yours, his breath still a little shaky but calmer now. "I believe you," he murmured, his voice low, laced with a quiet intensity. "So you better remember." His hand settled firmly on your waist, holding you close as if reaffirming his claim. "No one," he said, his tone possessive but softer now, "could ever have you but me." His words lingered between you, a mix of a promise and a warning, as his eyes locked with yours, making sure you understood every bit of what he meant. His thumb traced slow circles on the back of your hand, a subtle yet possessive gesture. "You know," he said quietly, his voice carrying a hint of warning, "it wouldn’t be fun if I found out there was someone else between us, right?" His eyes held yours, the underlying threat clear despite the calmness in his tone.
Changbin
Changbin’s fury erupted like a storm, a chaotic energy filling the room that made it impossible to breathe. His fist collided with the wall, the sound of the impact reverberating through the space, but he didn’t even flinch at the pain. Blood began to streak down his knuckles, but his rage made him numb to everything except the fire inside him. His eyes, dark and intense, were wild with a mixture of anger and deep-rooted insecurities as he zeroed in on you. You sat on the cold floor, tucked into the corner, desperately curling into yourself as if trying to disappear, hugging your knees tightly, your body trembling. You could feel his presence looming over you, suffocating, every breath you took heavy with fear. His eyes, once so familiar and warm, now felt like daggers piercing through you. He took a step closer, his towering figure casting a shadow over your trembling form, making the small space between you feel like it was closing in. "Tell me," he growled, his voice low but sharp, filled with barely restrained rage. "Who is it?" His tone was cold, dangerous, nothing like the gentle voice you were used to hearing.
The room was filled with a tense silence, broken only by your shaky breaths. He crouched down slightly, just enough so you could see the full weight of his expression, his jaw clenched tightly, his gaze unwavering. "Who the hell dares to make you smile?" His words were laced with venom, the accusation hanging heavy in the air. His entire demeanor screamed danger, and you could feel your pulse quickening, unsure of how to respond to this side of him you’d never seen before. After doing your best to explain that you hadn’t done what he thought, you could see the shift in Changbin’s demeanor. The rage that had consumed him began to fade, though not instantly. His chest still heaved with heavy breaths, but he stepped back from you, distancing himself. Slowly, he moved to the bed, sinking down onto the edge. His elbows rested on his knees as he ran a hand through his hair in frustration, sighing deeply. Minutes passed before he finally rose again and walked over to where you were still curled up on the floor. He lowered himself down, sitting beside you, though this time there was no anger in his movements, just quiet remorse.
"I let my emotions get the best of me," he began, his voice hushed, a stark contrast to the storm you’d witnessed moments ago. "I was overwhelmed. The thought of you being with someone else… it felt like torture. It consumed me." His words were raw, laced with vulnerability, and his gaze flickered toward the floor as if ashamed of his earlier outburst. Then, slowly, he turned to face you, his eyes softer, filled with regret. "Thank you for explaining," he said quietly, his voice full of sincerity, "and… I'm really sorry for doubting you." He searched your face, as if wanting to find something there that reassured him you understood, that you weren’t going to pull away. His fingers twitched slightly, like he wanted to reach out but wasn’t sure if he should. His eyes traced the details of your face, lingering on every curve and feature as if he was seeing you in a new light. There was a tenderness in his expression now that was missing before. "Remember," he said softly, his voice almost a whisper, "you are mine… and always will be." He spoke with a hint of possessiveness in his voice, just enough to send a chill down your spine.
Hyunjin
He accused you with almost no evidence, just a small smile that he had blown out of proportion. It was dramatic, the way his mood shifted, seeing something so innocent but interpreting it as something much darker. That smile—meant for no one in particular—had somehow become a symbol of his insecurity. To him, it was everything. Before you could react, Hyunjin shoved you roughly against the wall, trapping you between his arms. His body loomed over you, his hands pressed against the surface on either side of your head, leaving you no room to escape. His eyes, once warm, were now clouded with a raw intensity, his expression twisted with something that looked like betrayal. You blinked, confused, trying to process the sudden shift, but nothing made sense. The look on his face was one of deep hurt, though you had no idea why. You searched his eyes for some kind of explanation, but all you saw was anger and confusion. "Why?" his voice almost cracked, though he hadn’t said anything yet. The weight of his accusation hung in the air, heavy and suffocating, even though you didn’t understand where it had come from.
It felt like he was seeing something that wasn’t really there. "Aren't you supposed to love me?" he asked, his voice trembling with uncertainty as he searched your eyes for any sign of affirmation. His gaze felt almost piercing, as if he was trying to read your very soul. "You should be looking at me only!" The sudden rise in his voice startled you, echoing off the walls with a mix of frustration and desperation. In one swift motion, he pulled you into a tight hug, his arms wrapping around you with an intensity that was both comforting and overwhelming. It felt as though he was trying to meld you into himself, squeezing you so hard that you could barely breathe. The warmth of his body enveloped you, yet it felt almost possessive, as if he was claiming you in that moment. "Don't smile at anyone else like that," he murmured into your hair, his voice dropping to a softer tone but still heavy with emotion. The words carried a weight that made your heart race, leaving you both confused and touched. You could sense his fear of losing you, his need for reassurance that you were truly his and his alone.
The intensity of the moment wrapped around you like a shroud, making it hard to think straight. "Tell me, tell me you are mine," he urged, his voice eager as if the words he craved were on the tip of your tongue. His face broke into a grin, a stark contrast to the tension that had just passed between you, as if nothing had happened at all. "Right," he continued, caressing your hair gently, his touch tender yet possessive. "You said it, and you need to remember it." He tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering against your skin. "Sorry for the doubt, darling," he said softly, the warmth of his voice almost soothing. But then, his tone shifted slightly, a playful edge creeping in. "And if I find out you’re playing behind my back, things will get a lot uglier." The smile on his lips held an unsettling promise, a reminder that while he was affectionate now, the depths of his possessiveness could easily turn dark. "Shall we head home?"
#kpop#stray kids#stray kids changbin#stray kids hyunjin#stray kids seungmin#stray kids jeongin#stray kids bang chan#stray kids felix#stray kids han#stray kids lee know#stray kids masterlist#stray kids lee minho#stray kids lee yongbok#stray kids lee felix#stray kids imagine#stray kids au#stray kids fake texts#stray kids fluff#stray kids imagines#stray kids mafia#stray kids reaction#stray kids reactions#stray kids scenarios#stray kids smut#stray kids x reader#stray kids x y/n#stray kids x you#leeknow#changbin#han jisung
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What Psychic Skill Do You Have?
hello!
welcome to a new reading! today we are asking the cards which psychic skill or ability you have.
this reading is made in two parts, one is this one, about which skill you have, and the second one is uploaded on my patreon and it is about how to develop your skill. of course you can also only read this reading - it can be a standalone!
how to use this reading: pick the pile that attracts you from the picture below, then scroll down and read the correspondent reading. if you will also read the second part, the pile will be the same you pick here
[image description: the three piles, with their correspondent numbers]
pile 1

[image description: pile 1 spread]
3 of coins in reverse: seeing things in their depth; being able to naturally go beyond the surface and see what is really hidden behind; I think it can manifesting in understanding in a moment if a person has good or bad intentions, but also in relation to the natural world; it also feels like a very deep bond with the earth as an element and with nature in general, as if you are aware and can perceive natural entities or information from nature that not everyone can; I see the image of the soil;
aegirine (1): you are solid; even in the middle of a (metaphorical) storm you are stable, because you get the insights that not everyone does and hence you are able to see things more clearly; where most people may have a doubt, you have a certainty, because you have received the information you need
Full moon in Gemini: the answers you need are coming; this sentence perfectly encapsulates your skill: you receive the answers that you need. I think that it can be both because you are exceptionally receptive or because you have a strong bond with an entity or an element (or with nature) and this makes you receive their messages;
find the second part here!
pile 2

[image description: pile 2 spread]
ace of swords in reverse: receiving or seeing things that are not about you/in your point of view; it can actually take form in diffrent ways: you could astral travel and see things that are far from where your body physically is or you could see/receive information about other people's stories (an example that comes to my mind is dreaming other people's stories or lives); in both cases though, your skill is to be able to see something that is far from you, physically, metapthorically or both
orange sapphire (41): you may also be able to see different possibilities, like the different outcomes that can happen from a situation; this card gives an image that makes me think of dressing rooms mirrors, that in a certain angulation show your image many many times; it feels like you have the ability to do something like this, but either with all the different possibilities or going back and further back in time
New moon in Aquarius: face the situation with more love: I feel that your ability is easily "standardized" like it easily becomes an habit and you risk to not feel emotions from the stories and things you see; it's healthy for you to not to become too much attached to them and keep seeing them as something independent from your own life, but your skill also needs a dose of empathy to be able to connect with the things and stories that you are shown
find the second part here!
pile 3

[image description: pile 3 spread]
5 of wands: empathy; this card shows two hearts moving towards each other and it makes me think that you have the skill to feel what other people are feeling - either literally or simply by knowing what someone is feeling. I'm not gonna lie there is a heavy, almost overwhelm energy, which makes me think that it's a skill that causes you a few issues, perhaps because you are not aware of it, or maybe because you don't know it enough to decide when to stop it; I also feel that this skill has the consequence that you are very often involved in discussions, because you see the situation and the feelings of the people involved so clearly
moldavite(35): you know what to focus on; there's a feeling of growth that makes me think that by understanding other's emotions and seeing them playing them out you can also learn something for yourself (ex. if you find yourself in a similar situation, you are familiar with the setting already); it can also be that you have a sub-skill: you can distinguish between your feelings and feelings coming from others and keep them separated easily; you feel them both, but you can recognize what is yours and what is not
New moon in Pisces: meditate and comtemplate: this skill that you have needs to be "emptied" at times - regularly or when it becomes too much; you need to come back to your center, to yourself (meditation could be a useful tool!) and forget about the emotions that come from other people and that, if they're too many or too strong, risk to feel like a burden or stop you from giving attention to what is important for you;
find the second part here!
#witch#witchblr#witch community#witchcraft#tarot#tarotblr#tarot reader#tarot reading#pick a pile#pick a card#tarot pick a pile#tarot pick a card#pac#tarot pac#pac reading#pick a pile reading#pick a card reading
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Character Analysis: Rory Peters from Final Destination 2







So, not sure if anyone cares, but 3 days ago I wrote a character analysis on Rory Peters after a YouTuber called him one-dimensional in a Final Destination death tier list. (I had to defend my shayla 👅✌️) I originally wrote it in Turkish, my native language, then fully translated to English so there might be some grammar issues. Decided to share it here, might share it on other platforms too. If you're interested about reading a full-fledged analysis about Rory, here it is:
...
I want to share what gives Rory depth.
He's mostly known for doing coke, sure, but to me he's a "Green flag trying to look like a Red flag". His Y2K-style fashion tells me he's trend-conscious and that makes him stand out among the other male characters.
He has a kind of dynamic with Kat- maybe not obvious at first, but it's there. Like when Kimberly gathers the group and Nora asks Kat for a valium, Rory jokes, "Send one my way too/Keep em coming" It feels a bit insecure- he wants one but masks it with humor. Or maybe that's just how he talks? Is that behavior on the surface only around her? I'll come back to this later.
Another moment showing his undefined dynamic with Kat: when she's driving, he jokingly whispers "Hope she’s next to die" referring to her- loud enough for others to hear. Kat responds via rearview mirror with a "Hehe sure babe" look. I love these moments; from that tiny scene we get so much character insight.
And at the apartment, after Kat proudly talks about her career, Rory says "Shut up and you'll live," even though he's usually fine with that kind of proud talk. (Remember the scene with his coke-head friends, he only tells them to be quiet to hear the news- before that, he proudly says, "Look babies, I was there too!") So maybe his issue is just with Kat- a kind of "teasing antagonism." Also, before saying "Hope she’s next," he says, "One of us is going to die in this car… Are the rest of us going to be okay sitting next to that person?" It clearly shows he wouldn't be ok- but instead of admitting it, he masks it as a hypothetical because he's insecure! IT'S AWESOME!
Edit: I looked into the original script (not the final version), and after Rory says "Shut up and you'll live," it says: "Kat's hands ball into fists. The hatred is mutual." (Btw in this version, Rory swears more, is rougher, but also more emotional. Keep that in mind) The script describes their dynamic as "hatred," but in an interview, the producer described it as "itchiness"- probably meaning tension or irritation. Rory says that line right after Kat mentions her successful career. Let's dig into it:
In the film Rory drives a Mustang; flashy and expensive, for young rebels and speed lovers. But in the script, he drives a Chevette; cheap, low-quality, and often joked about. Why am I pointing it out? Because maybe Rory resents Kat’s success. (They are 1 year apart in this script btw, Kat, 28, being older) Kat is described as “Corporate American” wearing a “Power Suit."
That term refers to someone professional, ambitious, money-driven. And a Power Suit isn't just a regular suit- it implies confidence, authority, and designer tailoring. Also, Kat drives an Expedition. An SUV; big, powerful, expensive...
Now, there's this one part in the script that made me smile- another example of their dynamic which I STILL COULDN'T FIND A NAME I LIKE to describe as:
The group is gathered at Thomas' home and Clear asks why they were on Route 180 in the first place.
RORY:
Last July I dialed a wrong number and got a radio station by accident. They asked me what number means "good luck" in Jewish.
KAT:
Eighteen. And it’s Hebrew.
RORY:
Anyway, I guessed it right and won these (He holds up two Yankee tickets.)
Isn't this just adorable? Also, there's a moment where Rory slams his hand on the table out of frustration, and Kat flinches. I wish this version had made its way into the film. It's a good initial script, but has its flaws. Eg; Rory tells Kimberly "Throw my stuff so my mom won't be upset when I die" thing right after Nora dies, at Thomas' home. I think that line coming later in the movie (as it does in the final version) works better in terms of character development.
But again- this version of Rory is more aggressive and more emotional. The script says his tears well up when he talks about him dying. So maybe him accepting his fate earlier on and saying that line sooner does make sense in that context.
Also when Rory asks Kimberly to get rid of his stuff, she thinks it's a joke- even waits for the punchline.
Then a phone rings, Rory jumps in fear, scanning the room all paranoid.
And remember when he saw Carter being crushed by a sign on his way to a theater in Paris? He says he was so traumatized he hid under a shopping cart for 4 hours. My shayla 😭 They legit threw away this side of him and tried to make him cooler for the film by giving him a Mustang, by deleting the scene where he tears up and him saying he got so scared he hid under a shopping cart for 4 hours.
Oh and in the script, right before he dies he's about to do drugs behind a car, but when Thomas, a cop, calls out to him, he cringes at his name and walks off in fear while dragging a dead tree (maybe to hide behind it?). If he'd stayed put and done drugs where he was, he wouldn’t have died.
TOLD YOU HE'S INSECURE!!!
Here are some other things that hit me about Rory when reading the script:
While at Thomas' home, Nora leaves saying she has to plan the funeral. Eugene wants to leave too, so Rory hands him a phone and says "Be careful. Even if you don’t believe it, give this to Nora."
Why?
Because Rory knows the elevator is kaput. In the script, we only read him tooking it earlier.
So as I've already explained below: Rory cares about the people around him- even those he's just met. That line is also proof that he's one of the first to believe Kimberly's claim about death chasing them. In fact, it was said Rory was the most helpful to her after Thomas and Clear (Can’t recall where I heard it, maybe a producer interview?)
Final note about the script:
Kat and Rory die much closer together- and happily. In the film, Kat is annoyed and says something like "Can you work quieter?" before dying, so it's not exactly a happy death. But in the script, she's already safe and celebrating when she dies. And Rory too is happy; is satisfied and smiling while doing coke.
That's not something you see often in Final Destination; two characters dying that close together both in terms of the place of death, time of death and the mood they were in right before/while dying.
Trivia: Kat’s death in the script is described as "Head-Kebab." Damn it 😭
Back to the film:
Rory is one of the first ones to take Kimberly and the whole death situation seriously. Eg; when he's hanging something to the storage room, even though no one asks what he's doing, he still feels like he has to explain it out loud: he clearly wants help without outright asking for it. (Kind of like what I mentioned earlier with the car scene.) But when help doesn't come, he goes through with it in an insecure way, and he takes the hook man shadow seriously- we can tell it bothered him.
Another moment: when Eugene freaks out and puts a gun to his head, Rory says, "Don't do it, chillax man" While his body language may seem exaggerated, you can really feel how he genuinely cares- not just himself, but Eugene and the others he's just met. When Eugene collapses, Rory rushes to help him calm down. And let's not forget: when Brian almost gets hit by a car, Rory saves him, saying, "You trying to get yourself killed, little boy?" That fits so well with my "Green flag trying to look like a Red flag" theory- or maybe the film wants us to sympathize with him before he dies.
Then there’s the car scene again where he says he wanted to see a theater in Paris. At first it felt off- didn't really match his character (Also does it mean a play or the movies?) But the situation was serious, so he let his guard down and had to talk about it.
There's a great contrast between how reluctantly he says "I had tickets to go..." and how excitedly he talks about doing coke and seeing a guy get crushed by a sign, though he was scared lol.
Same thing when Rory asks "Can you throw away my porno, drugs, and stuff when I die? I don't want to make my mom sad" He knows what he’s doing is wrong and cares about his loved ones. But like I said, maybe his insecurity makes him try to look like a red flag.
Still, I'm not sure how to interpret him doing coke right after asking Kimberly for that favor, but one thing is certain; conflicting desires and the choices made accordingly always add more depth to characters. And remember what I said earlier? To Kat, he says "Send it/Keep em coming" but to Kimberly, he asks nicely- maybe it's a sign of growth/development, coming to terms with his "Green flag" side. And I won't even get into, "Will it hurt when I die?" part in the same scene.
Now let's talk about the elevator scene- possibly filler but my favorite Rory scene. It adds nothing to the plot, just foreshadows the elevator danger and offers comic relief.
And in this scene, Rory doesn’t seem insecure at all. After all, who licks their hand and goes "Let me get that for you" to a stranger- for a thing that isn't even there? What exactly motivates them to do so?
Just to mess with him? Or he wanted to touch him? I've tried analyzing it but nah- nothing. But everything I've written proves that Rory does have actual depth- maybe even character development.
Though, this "confident/non-insecure" moment happens right after he does coke. (Honestly, is there even a single scene where the guy isn't on drugs? Blud was high the entire film)
I wonder if his use of coke/drugs might be about feeling more confident- getting high as a way to boost his self-esteem?
I don't know. This elevator scene messes with my head bro 😭
Edit: Remember when Rory takes off his shoe and asks "Is that dog shit?" Why does he do that? Because in the script, it happens around a large group- so maybe it's his insecurity again, trying to shift the blame or deflect attention after possibly feeling embarrassed.
Edit for Tumblr 3 days after posting this: I stumbled upon the novelization of Final Destination 2 (not sure if it's canon?) and decided to read the Rory scenes and honestly... WHAT THE ACTUAL FÜCK 💀🙏
-> Rory in the script: Sometimes rough, sometimes emotional, very insecure, caring towards his loved ones
-> Rory in the movie: Cool, Funny, Caring
-> Rory in the novel: H O R N Y C R A C K H E A D 😐
So firstly, Rory's surname isn't Peters here but "Cunningham" (Apparently it is a Scottish surname but when I first saw it I couldn't help but notice the "Cunning" part which kinda may fit him? Idk) He is not 27 years here, but 24.
Now read this:
"The air around him was thick with a heady mixture of marijuana smoke and burning joss sticks, and the rapid beat of his latest demo track thumped through the floormounted bass speakers, making the empty beer bottles strewn on top of the TV clatter. It was making him feel horny, for no particular reason.
But then, he was twenty-four. He always felt horny."
Wrap it up unc 🥀
Now, the novel actually gives us the answer why Rory says "Is that dog shit dude?"
Get ready...
Because he was drunk and/or on drugs 😐 Wow... He saw something wedged under his shoe and asked that to that guy. Just wow 😐
And also apparently he just "imagined" that something was on that man's face (we read that Rory even thinks that the thing, a piece of turkey, is growing) due to being drunk and/or being on drugs as well.
Come on dude... 😐
Out of all the answers we could have gotten we got the most simple and obvious one. I mean yeah it explains it but idk- it just doesn't add anything interesting to him at all. That's why I even questioned that elevator scene in the first place. What's worth analyzing is there if Rory was not really concious of his decisions during the elevator scene? What depth would be there for such character? Damnit.
Well, at least he was nice. He was hit with a sudden hilarity and wanted to laugh but controlled himself because "it was rude to laugh at people when you were in an elevator. He had to be polite." OK. 😐
Anyways, when the quote on quote "coke-head kid, Rory" sits on the couch besides Kat when they first go to Thomas' home, Kat is quote on quote "disgusted" and tries to sit as far away from him as humanly possible. OK. 😐
Also in this version, Rory doesn't ask for a Valium compared to the movie and script versions, which, if you've read above, we had concluded he might have asked that because he was insecure and needed it.
Though, I think I kinda like this exchange:
"So, maybe if you shut the fuck up you'll live, huh?" Rory muttered under his breath.
"Yeah, like I'm going to take advice from you,” Kat retorted, giving him a disgusted look.
We read that Kat finds Rory disgusting and maybe the writers wrote these because they didn't want us to ship Kat with Rory because there is another girl whom they most probably wanted us to ship Rory with instead... I wish I was joking. Let's read a bit about this.
"Rory wriggled deeper into his seat, thoroughly enjoying the feeling of being sandwiched next to X. True, she was kind of weird, but she was really warm and she smelt so good. He wondered vaguely if she would make out with him if they survived all this "Death" stuff."
What name do y'all think belongs to the X spot?
A-) Nora
B-) Clear
C-) Kimberly
D-) Isabella
The true answer is...
IT'S NORA THE WIDOOOOW 😰😱
WTF!? RORY U MF HER KID JUST DIED HOW COULD YOU BRO 😭✌️
jk.
it's kimberly 😐
*sighs*
*internal screaming*
Rory is just too pervert and kinda creep in this novel. He legit wants to make out with her. He thinks she "smells good and is warm". So... Um... Rory was actually with lots of girls at his "Bachelor Pad" when he heard the news of Evan Lewis dying and one of the girls was even unzipping his pants and he thought this was some bitching party and "he was getting more than lucky tonight." Ayo 💀🖐
So even though he isn't married yet, he slept with lots of girls and possibly had relationships with some too. (I'm unfamiliar with this strange relationship concept but won't write my opinions to not to make it biased 😝)
But maybe he wants someone to actually love this time? Kimberly made him realize this? We read multiple times in this book that Rory's life has always been sorta bad and we also read he truly cares for his loved ones just like we analyzed from the screenplay. So woah- yes, that could be!!!
But nah- unfortunately no.
After Kat's Expedition crashed while they were on the road to find the pregnant Isabella, in the scenes that followed, Rory knows it's his time to die, so he dreams of a death that he is "somewhere surrounded by dozens of beautiful naked women, too blissed-out to notice that the cyanide his twelfth ex-wife had slipped into his double mocha decaff that morning was finally taking effect."
Man that was a long ahh sentence.
(Also, I'm sorry but as you've read his dream, this version of Rory screams actually being RED FLAG!!! 🚩🚩🚩)
Now, letting my personal thoughts aside for the sake of unbiased 😝 analyzing; this doesn't sound like a character who cares for his loved ones to me that we had concluded after analyzing the movie and the screenplay.
Why? Because this way he would clearly dump Kimberly too. He even called her "crazy bitch" in his mind when he saw her at TV. He's way rougher in the novel than he was in the script.
Yes he called her that in his mind for fun but like... What's left of a character if all of what he says should not be taken seriously because those were the sake of comic relief?
I don't get it.
But well, that might be a contradiction oh right; to really care for the feelings of your loved ones but still you can't help yourself jumping from one girl to another, not seeing them like a genuine human being with hurt feelings just as real and painful as yours.
Can we conclude this? 😩✌️
I will admit though- I actually loved those 3-4 pages on which we dive into Rory's mind before and during his death. Those were really good to understand his mentality and life journey. I recommend you all to give those pages a read.
Now let's change the tone a bit and speak about what I liked:
-> I'm glad Rory saying he hid under a shopping cart for 4 hours and him tearing up while asking Kimberly for the favor are in this novel too. Oh god why did the movie said "begone th0t" to these 2 scenes 🥀
-> You guys remember the kerfuffle inside Thomas' home that made a canoe crush to the glass after Eugene's motorcycle ring fell to the floor?
After that, this happens:
"I should've seen that coming," Clear said dryly as she nonchalantly dusted herself off. Huddled on the sofa, Rory, Kat and Nora stared at her.
SO CUTE. As we saw in the movie but in this novel 3 of them are almost hugging 🥰
(Huddled apparently means something like things getting closer to each other so...)
Kat now isn't very disgusted by him huh 🤭
That was it.
Now let me very quickly list the things I didn't like that much and try to analyze some of them:
-> So, Rory wanted to make out with Kimberly, and later, Kimberly thinks Rory doesn't look that bad actually, it would be even good if he took a shower...
GOD PLS NO WTF GOD NO NOT THEM OMG NOT THEEEM 😭😭😭
(Text: "She turned to look at him properly, watching as he stood and twitched and sniffed, his unwashed hair hanging down in greasy ringlets around his face. He actually wasn't that bad looking, she thought, if only he would get a haircut and a shave, and maybe take a shower every once in a while.")
And also, Kat actually finds the guy who came to save him cute!!! 😱
WHOEVER WROTE THIS NOVEL HATED RORY X KAT YALL AND DIDNT WANT US TO SHIP THEM I JUST KNOW IT 😩
BUT NAH- RORY X KAT FOREVER!!! RAWWWRRRHHHH-
-> Do you remember Kimberly saying "If I call you and say "subway, get to a high rise fast." while they were at Thomas' home?
Upon this, Rory looks at her with a confusion on his face. So Kimberly, while rolling her eyes, explains him what she means. Then she thinks in her mind:
"She hoped that Thomas would have some luck in finding the white van soon, because if she ended up in a padded cell with this Rory guy, she might as well just shoot herself right now and be done with it."
the AUDACITY of Kimberly thinking like this when her friends who died in the car crash were not so different than Rory 🥀
In fact she even admits this:
"She was dimly aware of Rory hanging on the periphery of her vision, but was too focused on what was going on in front of her to pay him much attention. As it was, most of what he'd said to her up 'til this point consisted of callous jokes at someone else's expense or drugrelated humor. In a way, he reminded her of a far grungier, more burned-out version of Dano."
So I too realized in the novel, he just jokes a lot. And Kimberly doesn't care about him that much even tho he was one of the first to believe her and 'helped her' (I think it was mostly because he was afraid of dying and so he probably thought there is nothing to lose if I believe her and help her)
-> In this novel version, Rory doesn't give Eugene the phone so he could give it Nora. He just says "Be careful dude"
Thomas does that instead.
Though, this was his apartment after all so he possibly knew the elevator is kaput so it kinda makes sense he would be the one to do that.
But how in the world could a cop know this, and still let a woman, who he knows is about to meet her maker, go there even though they legit worked hard to escape death just minutes before???
Well, we read that he was a rookie cop or something but anyways, this isn't about him 💔
-> In this novel, Rory says this:
"...I mean, someone in this car is about to get whacked; do the rest of you really feel like sitting next to him? Or her?"
As you can see, he says "rest of you", meanwhile in the movie and the screenplay he said "rest of us".
This tells me yes he still doesn't like to sit next to a dead body but now he provides it to them more clearly. It sounds less insecure of him actually. Well I guess I like this kinda.
-> Above, I was wondering why Rory would decide to do coke right after asking Kimberly for the favor of throwing his drugs and stuff.
We have an answer why here:
"If he was going to die soon, why not doing it?" Oh my f1cking god 😀
-> Rory wanted to be Rock Star ever since he was a kid; a guitarist. One of the guys at his Bachelor Pad was said to be his bass player.
As I understood, he was in a band but the band wasn't really successful.
There is one crucial line here though which almost made me shed a tear.
So apparently, he wanted to be a famous musician like Kurt Cobain. It says:
"Nothing was going to stop him.
Nothing, it turned out, but himself."
...
This line opened my eyes on Rory's personality and his decisions made in this novel. His addiction... was a problem. I should have understood that already by the book saying time to time that his life has never been fine. He also described his life as fucked up and never going right. He had said he truly loved his loved ones but he doesn't like who he is. Also, read this, it comes right after Rory gives Kimberly his stuff:
"Rory took a deep breath and blew it back out through his teeth, relieved to have at least one worry taken off his shoulders."
He really was having a burnout his whole life...
I didn't really see it that way until now because he was like a comic relief indeed.
I feel like it came so suddenly but looking back... WE HAD THE WHOLE BUILD UP!
And I'm angry at myself because I actually have a friend (shout out to Blake, if he ever reads this) who was struggling with addiction and after rehab, he came clean. Drugs and addiction are something Blake always opens up whenever we have a convo, I see it now very well that it really is hard to let go of truly, it makes its way into your life but there's this...
... Wasn't Rory's actions/scenes supposed to be for comic relief, as Kimberly also says something similar to it (I had written about this above) but now with this line it all turned upside down? Ah damn it...
-> Rory's drug habit is described as "expensive" on one of the pages I recommended you all to read.
Guess it checks out why our hb was a Chevette driver. Though, I guess he was driving the Mustang in the book...
(I feel stupid not having guessed that obviously drugs would be expensive... I'm innocent af 🤣😐)
Now let me finish this:
I love how while at Thomas' home, Rory goes to the closet and many stuff fall towards him, he actually screams and cries for help when he falls.
"Help! Help me!"
"In his mind's eye he could see his throat being sliced open by the blades on the hockey skates, his eyes being gouged out by the soccer cleats, his skull crushed like a ripe melon by the bowling ball."
He keeps his eyes out for these things huh.
Then he falls and makes other things fall with him.
"Kimberly stared at him accusingly, and rolled her eyes as she saw the mess he'd made.
"Sorry," Rory said lamely."
Bro Kimberly had a beef with Rory 😭✌️
So anyways, it's just very vulnerable to me. In fact, Kimberly also describes Rory looking vulnerable later on, I think she had sensed it through his eyes...
His true nature is vulnerable and insecure, he is loving and caring but drugs destroyed his life. He acts cool and jokes around, tries to look like a red flag, probably lives with his unsuccessful band at the Bachelor Pad and being broke with so many problems and regrets...
He is real and he is relatable. Many people today are like that, just the thing that altered their true self may not always be drugs.
To whoever reading this; Please take care of yourselves and your loved ones, or even a stranger you think needs it ♡
Thank you for reading.
#final destination 2#final destination#rory peters#analysis#character analysis#horror movies#kimberly corman#ian mckinley#sam lawton#peter friedkin#fd5#fd2#horror#wendy christensen
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Fic Rec: Series!
Welcome to April, and no fooling, we have 10 amazing series for you -- and I don't even know how many fics between them! To quote Harry:

Anyways, as usual -- please read, reblog, kudos, comment, show the love, and look out for the next category!
Vexxieverse by SomeDovesFly/@somedovesfly (616774, Explicit, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik/Liam Payne/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)
Fluff in handcuffs! Healthy bdsm and poly relationship
Reccer says: It's full of trust and love, and shows healthy dynamics both for a polycule and a BDSM relationship
The Duke and the Poor Sods Who Work For Him by LadyLondonderry/@londonfoginacup (8683, Teen, Multi) – fic post
Duke Louis decides he needs a hermit for his woods and his long suffering butler Liam must find one for him. Also, Duke Louis tries to woo tailor Harry in increasingly desperate but unhinged ways.
Reccer says: This series was so hilarious and unhinged and I loved every word of it!
where the lights are beautiful by twoshipsdrifting/@polkadotlou (48935, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post Warnings: Dubcon due to omegaverse heat
An omegaverse, accidental bonding fic where alpha Harry has the wrong idea about omega Louis
Reccer says: This fic makes me cry every time I reread it when Louis' thoughts just hurt in the best way. And the continuing series of fics adds amazing depth and insight to the first fic.
stand on holy ground by wishingforloushair/@wishingforloushair (17322, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) Warnings: religious themes, debauchery in the church
harry is a priest and louis is a sinner who goes to harry for guidance. they also fuck.
Reccer says: this fic series taught me how to pray the rosary. no i am not kidding. i don’t think id be able to do it right now but i know how to do it!
Please Remain on the Line by fckingfreakshow (24441, Not Rated, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)
harry’s looking for love, or at the very least a date that doesn’t make him want to walk off the brooklyn bridge. his friends call him a serial dater, but he prefers romantically persistent. he believes in the process and sometimes, you gotta kiss a few toads and pay sketchy astrology sites for the answers. what he really wants is simple. someone fun, who keeps him on his toes, who doesn’t take themselves too seriously. someone who’ll flirt shamelessly, make him laugh, maybe even whisper sweet nothings into his ear… he just didn’t expect the last part to be so…literal.
Reccer says: Killer banter. Unique concept. Disaster gay Harry. It’s so, so fun.
Down the Line by sunflouwerhabit/@sunflouwerhabit (280000, General, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post
Star shortstop Louis Tomlinson only finds solace between the white-chalk lines of a baseball diamond, until Harry Styles- the absolute bane of his existence and (probably) the worst pitcher in Major League Baseball- becomes an overnight sensation in the city Louis calls home.
Reccer says: (Almost) one million words about baseball and Harry and Louis. Brilliant OT5 rep. The most exciting fic(s) ever written about Ohio. Brilliant, devastating writing.
Come As You Are by Stylinsoncity/@stylinsoncity (77439, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post
louis is a professor of literature at oxford and harry is his newest and most eager protege. both are caught in a story about forbidden love, loss and second chances, in which one is on the brink of heartbreak and the other comes along when he's needed most.
Reccer says: Forever and always in my top 5. Searingly, achingly gorgeous writing.
All in the Golden Afternoon by Leighllbealright /@leighllbealright (126040, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post
When Louis Tomlinson needed to find a new preschool for his daughter, he wasn't expecting the one across the street to be everything he and Goldie ever needed. Or: the one where Louis is closed off, Harry is the weirdest person ever, and Gemma may as well be a psychic.
Reccer says: A brilliant found family fic. Quirky but real characters.
1957: Here to Take My Medicine by Zita17/@louisandtheaquarian (2657, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post
Beat poets Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles blow off some steam before a reading. Very loosely inspired by Howl, Ginsberg, Cassady, Kerouac, and the asterisks in Medicine.
Reccer says: This fic (and the other 4 in the series) are intense historical studies/smut. Cannot stop thinking about them!
Bitter Ends Turn Sweet by Allwaswell16 /@allwaswell16 (30164, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post
It had been four years since Harry first heard the song his ex wrote about him and far longer since they broke up. He forgave Louis long ago, and now his life was focused on his career, his family, and especially his son, Max. But Louis was back in Chicago, after all this time, and he’s not an easy man to ignore.
Reccer says: It’s so rare that a famous/non-famous love story ends before it begins. I love that this fic goes there!
#rec list#category 29#series#one direction#liam payne#louis tomlinson#niall horan#zayn malik#harry styles#1dficvillage#1dsource#allwaswell16#alwaysxlarrie#1d rare pairs#hlficlibrary#hlcreators#tracksintheam#trackinghome
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Moving to Japan many years ago and being introduced more meticulously to its culture, history, and philosophy sparked a deep and lasting fascination that took root within me. Through extensive reading, research, observation, and reflection, it offered me valuable insights that, for some reason, blended organically with my own Balkan mentality. Japanese thought is like a quiet, endless ocean - vast and mysterious, yet full of deep truths for those curious to explore its depths. It’s not only that we can learn from it - it’s that we are drawn to it. The soul, restless and searching for meaning, finds itself captivated by its quiet elegance, by wisdom that is not shouted but whispered, like a secret offered in the stillness of the night. Herein lies its true beauty: it doesn’t force itself on you, it invites. It calls the spirit to explore the unknown, to face its own shadows, and in doing so, to find peace.
Here are a few philosophical principles that I find deeply compelling, each reflecting a unique idea or value within the expansive spectrum of Japanese aesthetics, ethics, and spirituality:
In the philosophy of "kensho" (見性), the gradual awakening to one's true self, there is a calm defiance against the rush of modern life. How easily we are deceived into thinking self-worth is built overnight, but Japanese thought insists on a far more patient, sometimes demanding journey - a slow, deliberate peeling away of the surface until only the real essence of the self remains. This is not comfort, but truth, and the search for truth is never without a bit of struggle. Yet in this struggle, in this slow awakening, there is beauty - one that cannot be grasped by those who seek only the fleeting joys of instant satisfaction.
Much like "bushidō" (武士道), the way of the warrior, this journey demands honor, integrity, and the kind of inner strength that does not waver, no matter how treacherous the path, a kind of inner strength that stands resolute in all circumstances. Bushidō embodies Gi (rectitude), Yū (courage), Jin (benevolence), Rei (respect), Makoto (honesty), Meiyo (honor), Chūgi (loyalty), and Jisei (self-control). It is not simply enduring hardship - it is about living with powerful intention, where loyalty, integrity, and courage form the foundation of a purposeful life. This spirit of Bushidō isn't about suffering but about a fierce dedication to living with honor and resilience, and within that struggle, one’s character is shaped. There is no arrogance in true confidence, only a hard-won resilience, the kind that grows in the cracks like a delicate flower breaking through stone.
Then comes "shibumi" (渋み) - that quiet, understated elegance that goes almost unnoticed, simplicity hiding a depth of complexity. True self-esteem, true understanding, doesn’t need to shout. It exists in the way a person holds themselves, moves through the world with calm, steady presence that speaks volumes without saying a word. This is confidence born not from pride but from humility, from understanding one’s place in the larger order of things, and finding peace in that awareness.
The beauty of "wabi-sabi" (侘寂) lies in its celebration of imperfection. It rejects the idea of flawless perfection and instead finds beauty in the cracks of imperfection and flaws. There is something both bittersweet and freeing in this acceptance - that we are all, in some way, broken, and it is through those very fractures that we find our true beauty. It’s a perspective that would resonate deeply with Dostoyevsky, who found humanity in the brokenness of his characters.
Perhaps the greatest gift of Japanese philosophy is the concept of "yūgen" (幽玄), that deep, elusive beauty lying just beyond reach, in the shadows and the unseen. Life is not meant to be fully understood, and some things are better left as mysteries. This unknowable depth gives life its meaning, its richness. The surface may seem dark, but beneath lies an entire world for those willing to look deeper, to feel with their soul, rather than just see with their eyes.
Finally, there is "fudōshin" (不動心) - the unshakable mind. To be calm, to be still, in the face of the storm - that is where true strength lies. It lies not in the victory and worldly achievements, triumph or success, but in the calm, steady enduring of life’s storms. This is the magnetic presence that draws others in, not through force or charm, but through the quiet power of someone who has faced the abyss and emerged, not untouched, but unbroken.
In Japanese philosophy, I’ve found a mirror to the human condition - beautiful, tragic, profound, and endlessly deep. It teaches us that self-esteem, like life, is not something to be attained in a moment, but something to be continuously sought, patiently, through humility and acceptance. There is no end to this journey, and in that endlessness lies its greatest beauty.
#personal entries#japanese philosophy#cultural reflections#wisdom and resilience#philosophical musings#見性#kensho#武士道#bushido#渋み#shibumi#侘寂#wabi sabi#幽玄#yugen#不動心#fudoshin#日本#japan#soulful insights#musings#hero's journey#january 11
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BTS Jeon Jungkook - spouse traits analysis based on his D9 chart (part 1)
(This is strictly for Vedic Astrology teaching purposes only)
The 7th house in the D9 chart gives us more deeper insights into the details about the spouse. While the D1 chart shows what we're looking/seeking for in a partner in the bigger picture, the D9 cart tells us what kind if a spouse we will get in the end. And I have observed that the traits of the spouse which are indicated in the D9 chart do not apply on the romantic relationship partners (boyfriends/girlfriends). In my experience it has only applied on the person which an individual got officially married to in the end. Anyway, for this analysis we look at the 7th house, its ruler/lord planet and it's placement placement (house, sign and Nakshatra). Furthermore we look at the ruling planet of its Nakshatra placement and where that is positioned. We consider the archetypes of the planets and signs, the symbolisms and traits and mythical stories associated with the Nakshatras. Every single detail needs to be considered in order to get a full picture about the spouse's personality and appearance.
Next we start looking at the condition of the following houses, because they tell us more about the spouse's life, their family and every aspect of their life basically.
In this post I will break down the 7th house and 8th house matters in Jungkook's D9 chart. The 7th house is the 1st house of his spouse and the 8th house is the 2nd house of his spouse, means Jungkook's In-Laws and their financial matters.
Based on his given Birth information [September 1st, 1997 at 3:23pm in Busan] this is his D9 chart:
His 7th house resides in the sign of Capricorn with no planets in it. Therefor the 7th lord is Saturn, and it's placed in the 8th house in Aquarius, Purva Bhadrapada Nakshatra. The 8th house, as already mentioned is in Aquarius, again the lord is Saturn and occupies its own house. Saturn here creates a mutual aspect with Venus (which is placed in his 2nd house), this can first if all give him a spouse who is a couple years older than him, someone who comes from a lower class than him and a foreign ethnic background. Btw to further clarify Venus in the second house, this is a big indicator that the spouse may culturally originate from persian-to-middle eastern region. In my next posts when I get to his 2nd house in the D9 chart I will brake it down more deeper. But for this part as I analyze his 7th lord Saturn it makes a mutual aspect with his Venus which is indicative for the traits that I mentioned above.
The positions of the 7th and 8th house reflect a life marked by resilience and strength, especially in her role as the pillar of her family. With Saturn ruling the 7th house in Capricorn, she embodies responsibility and maturity, likely from a very young age. Capricorn, ruling her ascendant (spouse’s 1st house), reinforces this image of someone serious, composed, and steadfast.
Emotionally, the spouse is someone who is loyal and deeply committed. They’re not the type to jump into relationships lightly, they take their time to really connect on a meaningful level, but once they do, they’re all in. They probably come across as a bit serious or reserved at first, but beneath that, there’s a lot of depth. They’re the kind of partner who sticks around through thick and thin and doesn’t back down from challenges in the relationship.
Saturn’s placement in Jungkook's 8th house (his spouse’s 2nd house), in Aquarius and Purva Bhadrapada Nakshatra, highlights the depth of her sacrifices for her family. Saturn in the 2nd house shows that her family has relied on her heavily to accumulate assets and manage finances, perhaps from a young age. This placement suggests a childhood where resources were scarce or unstable. With Saturn in the 2nd house doesn't mean she comes from a poor family, no. Saturn does give a good amount of financial support or "wealth" so to say, but with immense hardships and very long periods of struggle. As being most likely the eldest child, she would have been the one her family turned to for stability, a role she embraced with quiet determination. This shapes her to become someone with traits of immense strength and self-sacrifice, qualities that define her role within her family from an early age.
Saturn in the 8th house also deals with hidden matters, and this makes the spouse someone who’s very private about their struggles. They probably don’t share the burden they carry with others, they just keep pushing forward and handle things on their own. This can sometimes create a lonely feeling, as they tend to take on too much without reaching out for help. But the one thing they can always be counted on for is being steady, reliable, and there when their family needs them most.
There’s a karmic feel to the spouse’s relationship with their family. They may have been born into a family where financial stability was always a concern, and they feel it’s their role to fix that or maintain it. They might have had to grow up quickly, stepping into adult roles early in life, and now they carry that weight into adulthood. Saturn in the 8th house ties them deeply to their family’s financial legacy or debts, and they might feel as if they are the one who must handle it all.
The Purva Bhadrapada Nakshatra adds an intense and transformative quality to her life. Ruled by Jupiter, this nakshatra emphasizes themes of sacrifice and spiritual growth through hardship. For her, accumulating wealth and ensuring financial security for her family is not just about survival but about building a foundation for her family's future. Her efforts go beyond the material, as she also provides emotional stability and wisdom, guiding her family through difficult times. Purva Bhadrapada is symbolized by two faces or twins, which adds an interesting layer to their life. There’s a possibility they could be a twin themselves (very high chances of their own children even being twins in the future). But Jungkook's 8th house shows his In-Laws, the spouse's family, so it could quite literally manifest in twins amongst his In-Laws. If not literal twins, this symbolism could show up in the spouse's life in other ways, like them playing dual roles in their family. For example, the spouse serving as the financial backbone and the emotional support system, or they might juggle two careers or responsibilities that feel equally important. Either way, duality is a big theme in their life. Whether she cared for twin siblings or navigated a similarly dual dynamic within her household, it added another layer to her already multifaceted role as the family’s pillar.
Purva Bhadrapada is also about transformation, here we can also see that this sacrifice isn’t just financial, it’s also emotional. The spouse might feel torn between their own desires and their deep sense of duty to their family. They likely experience a push and pull between wanting to pursue personal freedom and having to stay tied to responsibilities. This could even translate into some feelings of inner conflict, maybe they yearn for more space or time for themselves but feel trapped by their sense of duty. This is the part where Saturn's and Jupiter's influences are clashing. She is put into this role of a servant, because Saturn represents a servant and it also represents restrictions/limitations. But deep down through the influence of Purva Bhadrapada she has a hidden explorer side of her which yearns for freedom and expansion, because Jupiter is a guru, and an eternal student of life, it represents expansion and learning/exploring new things. Her Family may not see this side of her, because the 7th lord (in this case her 1st house, her identity) is going into the 8th house (her 2nd house, her family) and the 8th lord (her family) stays in the 8th house, they can't look beyond their own position. But she has this other side of her outside from her family matters through the Nakshatra in which Saturn is placed. Purva Bhadrapada's ruler Jupiter goes into Jungkook's 1st house (his spouse's 7th house). Jungkook will see this side of her and her close social relationships, they will also see this side of her.
When we are going through the key traits of the Purva Bhadrapada Nakshatra, let's also mention that this placement can also indicate frequent injuries of one foot/leg. She will have at some point in her life ran into situations where she seriously injured her foot/leg (most likely seen in the left one), this is a part of her Karma. But it will bring her luck, wisdom and spirituality because Jupiter's full potential is being released after such an event. Purva Bhadrapada Nakshatra must be a very prominent and key placement in her own birth chart, because it is reflected as the placement where Jungkook's 7th lord (Saturn) is placed in his D9 chart. Also Saturn must be playing a significant role in her own birth chart. This could play out as Saturn being her Ascendant ruler or Atmakaraka or other strong Saturnian placements in her birth chart.
This Nakshatra is all about duality and transformation, so the spouse might also have a kind of mysterious or complex vibe. On one hand, they’re super responsible and grounded (thanks to Saturn's influence), but on the other, they’ve got this deep, philosophical side that’s always looking for meaning in life (thanks to Jupiter's influence). They might be drawn to spirituality or some kind of esoteric wisdom, and they probably have a unique way of balancing both the practical and the mystical sides of life.
Let's look closer to Jupiter, the ruler of Saturn's placement in Purva Bhadrapada, it is placed in Jungkook's 1st house (which derives as the spouse’s 7th house), in Cancer. This adds an emotional and nurturing dimension to her personality, especially in the context of her family. While Saturn brings discipline and structure, Jupiter in Cancer softens this with compassion and care. Her family likely sees her as not only a financial but also a source of emotional support and wisdom. Her sacrifices are not limited to material concerns, she also ensures her family members feel valued, loved, and protected.
Jupiter in Cancer highlights her role as the emotional cornerstone of her family. She likely takes on the responsibility of guiding her family through hardships, offering them strength and stability even when she herself is struggling. With a nurturing nature and responsible approach, creating a balance that makes her indispensable to her family. She is the person everyone turns to in times of crisis, the one who provides comfort and solutions with unwavering dedication.
Physically, Saturn’s influence might manifest in sharp, smaller features and a serious expression, while Jupiter in Cancer adds a softness that hints at her compassionate nature.
Emotionally, her sacrifices for her family are profound. Saturn in the 2nd house indicates that her family relies on her for financial stability, and she takes this responsibility seriously. She likely manages her family’s resources with care and precision, ensuring that everyone’s needs are met. Her sacrifices were not limited to financial efforts, she gave up personal ambitions to ensure her family’s needs were met, displaying an extraordinary level of selflessness. This role might at times be very draining and overwhelming for her nevertheless she fulfills it with reliability and a sense of purpose.
Jupiter in Cancer amplifies this selflessness, adding an emotional depth to her actions. She doesn’t just provide material support; she nurtures and protects her family in every sense. Her sacrifices come from a place of love and duty, and she is deeply committed to ensuring her family’s happiness and stability. She has the ability to balance discipline with compassion which makes her an irreplaceable figure in her family’s life.
In every sense, she is the pillar of her family. From managing finances to offering emotional support, she has taken on a central role in ensuring her family’s well-being. Her strength, resilience, and selflessness are qualities that inspire admiration from outside, not just for what she has endured but for how she has chosen to respond to life’s challenges. Her ability to carry the weight of her family’s needs, while maintaining a spiritual inner world filled with wisdom shows how life must have shaped her to become such a strong individual.
Her physical traits:
Purva Bhadrapada’s ruler Jupiter placed in Cancer can result in a shorter-to-average height, especially for females. So she can likely be moderate to short in stature.
Purva Bhadrapada often exhibits a slightly plump or curvy body type, even if Saturn tries to impose a leaner structure. Jupiter adds fullness to the hips, thighs, and overall frame, creating a soft, nurturing appearance.
While Saturn might emphasize angularity, the Cancerian Jupiter influence softens this, leading to a rounder or fuller face. Cheeks may be prominent, with a healthy or robust look.
Saturn in Purva Bhadrapada, paired with Jupiter in Pushya enhances the eyes further, giving them a large, expressive and soulful quality. Her eyes may stand out as one of her most attractive features, holding in lots of deep emotions. Saturn’s influence often manifests as shadows or dark circles under the eyes, especially if the native has experienced stress or heavy responsibilities in life.
Saturn rules over Hair. It's influence can result in dark, thick, and mostly wavy-ish or slightly curly hair. Jupiter will add volume and richness, while Saturn may occasionally dull the shine and cause dryness.
With Jupiter in Cancer and especially in Pushya (a nurturing Nakshatra), the chest area may be well-developed or prominent, reflecting Cancer’s association with nourishment. One of Pushya's symbols is the cows udder, so chest size will be very voluptous.
Jupiter in Cancer amplifies the softer, maternal aspects of her physicality, giving her a nurturing appearance that contrasts with Saturn’s sternness.
It also contributes to her curves, especially around the hips, lower abdoman (Cancer's association with the womb) and chest, softening Saturn’s otherwise lean tendencies. Saturn can still ensures the curves are well-supported and defined by a strong skeletal frame. It also provides strength and durability to the overall body structure. She may have a medium build with noticeable strength in her posture and limbs, even if she appears softer or curvier due to Jupiter’s influence. This blend of Saturn, Jupiter, Purva Bhadrapada and Cancer could most probably make her a skinny-thick type.
Saturn could still blend in with some well-defined, angular features in her face, such as high cheekbones, a sharp jawline and prominent eyebrows. Bushy or thick eyebrows are common, with a slightly angular and arched shape reflecting a Saturnian serious and striking appearance.
Saturn may darken or give the complexion a slightly earthy or ashy undertone, though Jupiter in Cancer can balance this with a healthy glow. The overall skin tone might be medium to darker, with a smooth to somethimes rough or dry texture depending on outside factors, like seasons for example (Saturn rules over time).
Saturn’s slowing nature combined with Jupiter in Cancer ensures that she maintains a youthful appearance for longer. Fine lines and wrinkles may develop much later in life, contributing to a gracefully and slow aging process.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I hope this was very educational and enlightening in understanding how deep diving the art and science of Vedic Astrology can be and could show you what you need to be looking at in your own D9 chart in order to get a closer picture of the traits about your future spouse.
In my next post I will give you deeper insights into the following two houses, the 9th and the 10th house. I think I will keep this as a series and analyzing always two in each part.
Thanks for reading and see you soon. 🪐
#astrology#sidereal#navamsa#sidereal chart#vedic chart#sidereal zodiac#nakshatra#vedic#future spouse#sidereal astrology#vedic astro notes#vedic astro observations#astro observations#astro notes#jungkook#jeon jungkook#bts jungkook#bts#jjk#bts jk
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