#and sorry I waited until the last second lmao this is very new to me I’ve never had the support that I do know

[noirapocalypto]

I’m non-binary. (:

[charlesswife]

Una Noche En Mónaco i

Vaya noche la de anoche. (What a night last night)

unem master list

pairing: charles leclerc x latina! reader

summary: after a one night stand between you and charles, charles continues on with his f1 career. until two months later, you come back claiming to be pregnant with his child.

warning: bad writing, charles is a bit of an asshole at first, is going to be a series. google translate because I do not speak french. teen pregnancy (very cliche, I know. I'm sorry)

a/n: this is based on the idea i posted yesterday, which you all seem to like a lot. i want to clarify that english isn't my first language so please be kind if you see any error, i am trying my best. Also I am very new to formula one, i am binge watching drive to survive and the races. also i hope the timeline is correct lmao. ALSO i am not very great at writing smut so don't expect to see smut until i get better at writing it. enjoy!

word count: 1,771

Just to clarify: If I'm not wrong. In 2018, Charles was 20, turning 21 in that year. Reader is going to have an age gap of two years. So reader is 18 turning 19.

gif is not mine! i love this gif tho, he looks so good.

March 2018

Everything from last night was a blur. I remember his green eyes on me. And then his lips. And then his skin. And then a bit more. 

The music was louder than my thoughts. Monaco is a beautiful country with even more beautiful people. 

Steph grabbed my hand and dragged me to the bar. "One Jack Daniel's with coke and one Cosmopolitan, please." She told the bartender. 

"Cosmopolitan?" I asked. 

"Oh girl, it's so good. It's vodka with cranberry juice, lemon juice, syrup, and..." She stopped for a second while her eyes drifted to something behind me. "Oh god, he's cute." I was going to turn around and look until she stopped me. "Wait, don't turn yet!"

By that time, the bartender put our drinks in front of us. I thanked him. "Girl, he's looking at you."

"Is he your kind of cute or mine?" 

"I would do it sober, on a Monday." Okay. I have to turn around and see said man. "If he wants anything, he'll come to us." She dragged me to another part of the bar. 

We danced and drank, and slowly I was forgetting about the 'gorgeous' man. I checked my phone. 12:00. 

It has been two hours since we got to the bar. 

When the song ended, we headed to the bar area, I asked the bartender for another drink. "Wait here, I have to run to the bathroom," Steph yelled in my ear and then made a beeline to the bathroom. I took the scenery in. The music was louder than before and everyone was dancing to a song I don't know of. 

The bartender put the drink in front of me, and I thanked him again. I lost count of how many times I have thanked him. 

"This is your fourth drink, is it not?" I heard a male voice next to me. I turned to see the owner of the voice. 

Green eyes. Dimpled smile. His body leaned to mine. 

"You're keeping tabs on me?" I asked.

"Hard not to," he said. He turned to the bartender and said, "Fermer la onglet. apporte-elle de l'eau. Je paierai la facture." (Close the tab, and bring her some water. I will pay for her bill.) The bartender nodded. The man turned to me again. 

"What did you tell him?" I'm not even going to lie. His accent was very sexy. 

"Nothing much. C'mon. Let's dance." he grabbed my hand and dragged me to the dance floor. 

He pulled me close to his body. Very close. His green eyes and hands were all over me. And I let him.

He leaned closer to my ear and said, "So are you going to tell me your name or will I only know as the beautiful foreign girl?" 

"You think I'm beautiful?" I asked laughing a bit. 

"Everybody in this room thinks you are beautiful," he smiled, "So?" 

"y/n," I told him. He repeated my name again, trying to see how my name feels on his lips. "And you?" I asked him. 

"Charles" I repeated his name and his smile got wider. Deepening his dimples. "Leclerc" 

Somewhere in the room, a phone rang. I was entangled with Charles that I just let it ring. His face is so calm, without worries. 

"I can feel you staring at me, mon cherie," he murmured. "do you always stare at people when you wake up?"

"Not always," I said. "you're the only exception." He smiled at my comment and opened his eyes. 

"Hello" 

"Hi," I whispered. 

"Was that your phone or mine?" He asked. 

"I don't know. If it's important, they'll ring again." As soon as the words left my mouth. The phone rang again. I let out a little whine that made Charles laugh. 

"That's your phone, that's not my ringtone." I got out of bed and looked for the phone. 

"I can feel you staring at me, mon cherie" I mocked him. 

"A sight like you should be stared at all the time." I smiled at his comment. I found my phone in between the pile of clothes that was left on the floor. Steph <3 appeared on my screen.

I lay on the bed again with Charles and answered the phone. 

"Hey bitch, I've been calling you all morning" 

"Sorry" I answered "I just woke up" 

"Are you still with the French boy?" Steph asked with a joking tone. I can't remember most of last night. But she knows about Charles and the fact he speaks French.

"I'm Monegasque," He said a bit loud, just for her to hear. 

"He says he's Monegasque" I repeated. 

"Uhhh, native. I like it. Well, text me when you're on your way back" With that, she hangs up. I looked back at Charles. 

"So, another round?" 

At first, Steph was excited for me. She was hoping for Charles to be the next thing to occupy my mind instead of my parents.

She wasn't wrong. The Monegasque lived in my mind rent-free for the past month. Especially after I found out I was pregnant. 

Two pink lines.

Positive. 

"So? What does it say?" Steph asked. I didn't say anything. Tears started to form in my eyes. "Oh god, I need a drink" She disappeared from the bathroom to the kitchen. 

Steph made me take a pregnancy test after several different random cravings that I had. She had enough of me after I ate a burger with extra extra pickles, and then more pickles on the side. For context, I hate pickles, with my life. 

Fuck. 

"y/n... what are you gonna do?" I haven't realized that she came back into the room, a glass of wine in her hand. 

"well... what's done it's done. it's my responsibility to take care so it." I answered. 

"Yeah! But so it's his! He has to be responsible too!" she yelled. 

I let the tears run down my face. "And how?! I don't have his number! It's not like I could just send him a text saying 'Hey! remember when we fucked a month ago? well, I'm pregnant now, congrats! be responsible and take care of it" 

Steph stayed quiet for a moment, just staring at me. After a while, she said, "Do you think he is on Instagram? I mean, think about it, almost everyone is on Instagram." she waved her wine at me. 

"And if he's not?" my voice broke for a moment. This is all too much for me. I am overwhelmed and drowning in my own feelings. 

"We can only hope so." She put her wine on top of the dresser and reached for her back pocket for her phone. "What was his name again?" 

"Charles," I said. 

"Love, I'm going to need more than that"

"Umm... His last name was a hard one. It was Lec... Lec-something"

For a moment, she looked at me and then back at her phone. "Leclerc?" She asked, doubt very clear in her voice.

"Yes! Leclerc. Why? Did you find him? You should get a job in the FBI" I commented while fidgeting with my hands. I was very nervous. 

"Is it him?" She turned her phone towards me. The first thing I see was a black and white picture of Charles sitting on top of a counter with an Alfa Romeo jacket. The date was March 4, 2018. Just a few days before we met. 

"Yes," I confirmed, "Wow, you are better than a PI" She slide her finger up a little and I looked at the username. Charles_leclerc with a verified check. "He's verified? Why is he verified?" I felt my heart going eighty miles per hour. 

"You fucked and got pregnant by a Formula One driver," Steph said, in a monotone voice. 

Oh fuck. 

"What do I do now?" I asked her as I made my way to my bed to sit down. 

"Well, you know who he is now. You just gotta find a way to find him and tell him." She said as she sat down and wrapped her arms around me. 

Yeah. Right. Like that's going to be easy. 

May 2018 

"When will the phase of puking stops when pregnant?" I asked Steph as I rubbed my small bump. 

"You're asking the wrong person. I am not Google" She replied. 

"You would be more awesome if you were Google" I joked as I sat at the dinner table.

The aroma of pho and fried dumplings is drugging me right now. Steph is a great chef. So am I, but I hate washing dishes. 

I am glad I have Steph to take care of me. Steph has been my best friend for the longest, she's a year older than me, but she treats me and takes care of me as if I'm her daughter. She was there for me when my parents died. She dropped everything and came with me across the world. And now she's taking care of me while being pregnant. I truly don't know what I would do without her. 

Steph served me chicken pho and eight delicious fried pork dumplings. I waited for her to sit down. 

She glanced at me for a second and then smiled. "You look like a child, waiting for permission to eat." 

I laughed. "Well, I'm sorry I waited for you," I said as I grabbed the spoon and put some of the broth in it, and then took it to my mouth. It is so savory. "This is so good" I grabbed the chopsticks and grabbed a dumpling. I blow a bit into it so I don't burn myself. I took a big bite. "Oh my gosh, this is the best dumpling." 

"You know what's better than a fried dumpling?" she asked while she wiggled her eyebrows. 

"A soup dumpling!" I said. As soon as the words left my mouth, I heard a ting! coming from my phone. I thought my phone was in silence. We both laughed a bit at the timing and sound of the phone. 

I turned my phone, immediately illuminating from the raise to wake mode. My smile dropped. 

+377 123 456 7890 

Hey, this is Charles. I'm in Monaco for a few weeks, mon cherie. Do you want to meet? 😉

I slammed my phone back to the table and looked at Steph. "What?" she asked. I looked back at my phone, making sure it wasn't a hallucination in my head. The text message was still there. 

With shaken hands, I hand her my phone while I eat the other portion of the dumpling. She looked at the text, then at me. "Oh fuck..."

Oh fuck indeed. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Ahhhhhh!!!!! This is the first chapter of many more to come! Please let me know what you think of it. I would very much appreciate any type of comment, whether it is your opinion or just anything! It would def motive me more to keep going.

@mac-daddy-210 @infinite-wanders @rbrsavage @itsyogurlkel @bbygrlllllll @nerdreader @imnotcryingyouare1 @killerangel88 @obx-mylove-things-blog @triorion @daniellarogers @insssanemindd @bosinclairsgff

[1-800-hwahui]

match of the season

member — college student radio host!junhui x f student!reader genre  —  smut, fluff, humor word count — 7.3k warnings — virgin!jun, shy clueless jun, fr that man does not know a single thing but it's endearing in a silly way, top!reader bot!jun (but no real dom/sub dynamics, more like reader leads until jun figures out how to take over), unprotected sex, jun big cock agenda, VOICE KINK (listen. you all knew it was coming), so much dirty talk, lots of consent bc it is very sexy, riding, little bit of dry humping?, mentions of an iud/birth control, jun is implied taller than reader (maybe size kink but only if you take it that way), jeonghan cameo and he's a menace, lots of fluff at the end (but also kinda throughout), please lmk if i missed any warnings! notes — this is a nsfw sequel to a sfw fic on my main writing blog @junekissed called sounds of the season, which is part of my series of winter-themed fics! if you haven't already, i would highly recommend reading that before reading this, since the stories are pretty closely connected. thanks to @onlymingyus for reading over this for me <3 i hope you all enjoy this as much as you enjoyed the first part. also like i said in part 1 i have no idea how radio works so if it doesn't make sense just roll with it lmao

you’re just putting the last finishing touches on your final paper when your phone buzzes. you glance down, grinning when you see junhui’s name on the screen.

unable to hide the butterflies in your stomach, you press a button to accept the call. “hi, junnie.”

“oh! hi,” his voice plays through your speaker with a giggle. “hey, i like that. ‘junnie’. do you want a nickname? but your name is so pretty, i don’t wanna change it–”

“whatever you want is fine,” you say, trying to hold back a smile. god, he’s cute.

“okay. i’ll think about it. oh, wait, yeah!” he says suddenly, as if he’s just remembered why he’s calling. “jeonghan left town early this week so it’s just me in the studio today, and it’s our last show of the semester. so anyway, do you wanna come over?” he stops, stumbling over his words. “well, not like, come over come over, i mean, we can just hang out, i–”

“give me half an hour,” you laugh, endeared by his eagerness.

“yay!” he cheers, and you shake your head with a smile.

half an hour later, a text pops up on jun’s phone, alerting him that you’re waiting outside the building. he leaps out of his chair, an excited grin on his face as he flings open the door and dashes downstairs to let you in.

he’s out of breath by the time he reaches the communications lab door, leaning on the push bar to let you in. “sorry, forgot they locked it already,” he pants.

“it’s fine,” you giggle. “so… everyone else is gone?”

he nods. “yeah, mr. choi said as long as i don’t mess with anything he’ll let me close by myself, so they all left early for break.”

you smile and hold out your hand for him to take, and he beams, hastily grabbing your hand and lacing his fingers with yours.

he leads you up the stairs to the sound booth, squeezing your hand the whole way.

it’s your second time being in the school’s recording studio, but the feeling is still new and exciting. you definitely understand now what jun meant when he said being around all the equipment is a lot of fun.

once inside, he shuts the heavy door with a click, locking the door and flipping on the “on air” light. not that anyone could get in anyway, but it’s a habit he doesn’t want to accidentally get out of before he comes back next semester.

he slides in front of the computer for a second, queueing another song so he has more time to grab what he’s designated as “your chair”; the comfiest one in the studio, according to him.

he pulls it over next to his chair and pats the cushion for you to sit. you giggle and plop down on the seat, scooching closer to him once he’s sat in his own chair.

he raises his eyebrows at you with a grin, then clears his throat and moves closer to the microphone as the song ends to do his job.

ever since you accidentally admitted to him that you like the way his voice sounds, he’s teased you about it—or at least, attempted to tease you about it. he's too sweet for his own good, so even when he tries to poke fun at you it comes out like a compliment.

he presses the red button and begins to talk. “that was one of the classics, ‘a holly jolly christmas’ by burl ives. coming up next, another favorite, ‘the christmas song’ by michael bublé, and more great songs on your favorite program: 111.7fm’s sounds of the season.”

he lets go of the button and sits back in his chair, spinning it around to face you as the slow music starts softly playing. “hi,” he says shyly. “did you like that?”

you smile. it’s a little bit of an odd question, but you’ve started to understand his awkwardness; he just needs a little encouragement. “i always like it. you’re really good at this.”

“i like it a lot,” he grins back, bouncing his head in excitement. “can i kiss you now?”

you laugh at his enthusiasm but nod, leaning forward to press your lips to his. he sighs into your mouth, his hands falling naturally to your waist. for supposedly not going out much, jun is really, really good at kissing, you’ve quickly learned over the last few days. how he got so good at it, you may never know, but the feeling of him pressed against you is too perfect to waste time questioning why.

despite being surrounded by the cold, metal recording equipment, the sound of michael bublé’s crooning voice and the gentle warmth of junhui’s lips makes the studio feel like the coziest place on earth.

his hands tug at your waist and you slide easily out of your chair and onto his lap, sitting sideways across his legs, never breaking the kiss.

he pulls away for a second, his cheeks dusted with pink. “let me… put the playlist on,” he says, his voice a little breathier than usual. 

you hum in confusion, attention still focused on the curve of his lips and the little noises he makes when he’s kissing you. “what playlist?”

he laughs. “for the show. so we can keep doing… this, and not have to worry.”

“wait, so you mean, not all of it is live?”

he shakes his head. “almost all of it is, but there’s a backup playlist in case we get busy and can’t sit around pressing buttons for the whole hour. i used it a couple weeks ago when i had to finish my chem paper.”

he spins the chair around, facing you both in front of the computer screen and tapping a few buttons on the keyboard. he turns a dial on the soundboard and the background music in the studio gets lower, so quiet you need to strain to hear it.

he hums, and your attention turns away from the machinery and back to his eager smile.

“can i kiss you again?” he asks softly.

you giggle and put your hands around his neck. “you don’t have to ask every time.”

so he’s pushing his lips on yours again, kissing you like you’re the most delicate thing in the world.

and that’s when you feel it. the butterflies deep in your stomach that make you want to do things no person should be doing in a school building.

he pulls away for a second to catch his breath. “you’re so pretty,” he says dreamily, and you hate the way it immediately sends shivers down your spine, landing directly at your core. 

you hold back a whimper and shift the way you’re sitting, moving so each leg is on either side of his legs, straddling his lap.

he pushes his mouth against yours, hands gently kneading your hips. your fingers dance beneath the bottom of his shirt, fingernails gliding over the warm, soft skin of his stomach and feeling his abs contract at your touch.

“wait,” he whimpers, and you pull back immediately, taking your hands off of him and putting them on your thighs.

“do you want me to stop?” you ask quietly. shit, you hope you haven’t completely ruined this by going too fast.

“no!” he nearly shouts, looking panicked, then clears his throat. “no,” he repeats. “i don’t want you to stop. i’m, just…” he trails off, avoiding your gaze.

“you can tell me, junnie,” you say gingerly, wanting him to be comfortable.

“i know,” he whines. “i’m… embarrassed,” he says, voice small.

“i’m not going to laugh at you,” you say softly.

“i’m not– i haven’t–” he freezes. you give him a small smile that you hope looks encouraging, and it must be, because he sighs and starts again. “i’m a… virgin,” he says, barely above a whisper.

“oh! that’s all?” you ask, taking his hand and threading your fingers in between his. he looks up at you, trying (and failing) to hide the surprise in his expression. “you don’t need to be embarrassed. everybody has a first time.”

you pause, not wanting to force him into doing this if he really isn’t ready. you don’t care, you have plenty of ways of getting yourself off if he wants to wait longer. because you are willing to wait. “we don’t have to now, junnie,” you say. “i’ll wait as long as you want me to.”

“i want to now,” he says quickly, shaking his head. “i just… don’t know what to do,” he mumbles.

“that’s fine,” you whisper, bringing your other hand up to his face and kissing his cheek tenderly. “we’ll go slow, and you tell me what you want.”

he hesitates, then tentatively places his hands on your waist, still holding your hands. “i want to kiss you again.”

you smile. “i can do that.”

and you lean back in, pressing your lips to his. gently at first, until he grips your waist a little harder and starts kissing you a little deeper. you let him get used to it, allowing him to set the pace he wants.

testing the waters, you push down on his lap a little, starting to grind lightly on his crotch. he whimpers and tugs at your hips to help you, beginning to fall into a steady rhythm. 

you stay like this for a while, leisurely making out on his lap, for longer than you normally would with someone else. but this isn’t someone else, this is junhui, and you’re more than content going as slow as he wants. plus, all this is just making you wetter and wetter as time goes on, riling you up the more you think about what’s to come later.

you can feel him getting harder underneath you, and you moan into him, eagerly but patiently waiting for him. his hands climb up your back, hooking around your shoulders and pulling you almost completely flush with his chest.

he pulls away after a minute, lips red and puffy from the contact and breathing hard. “don’t– you need a c-condom, when… so you, don’t get pregnant?” he stutters out, struggling to get the words out and to stop from bucking his hips against you.

“i have an iud, it’s alright,” you say, also panting for breath.

“okay.” he exhales and leans back, letting go of your hips.

you look at him in confusion at his sudden pause. “why…?”

he stares at you. “uh, don’t you have to go put it in? or did you do that before you got here?”

you snort. “my iud? no, it’s in all the time. it doesn’t come out.” 

“oh,” he says, his cheeks flushing pink. “sorry, i didn’t know–”

“it’s okay, junnie. don’t apologize,” you say, trying your hardest to hold back a laugh. poor sweet, oblivious junhui. you’re not laughing at him, you’re laughing at how adorably clueless he is. you find yourself hoping you might be the one to help him understand these things, if he wants you to.

“have you… before?” he asks shyly, avoiding your eyes again.

you pause, knowing he’s already embarrassed and trying to answer him as gently as possible. “yes,” you say finally, and his face droops a little at your response. “but that doesn’t mean anything. it’s my first time with you, too, so we’re learning about each other. that’s all it is. so just… don’t think about it, okay? the only thing i’m thinking about right now is you.”

his cheeks are a deep shade of pink, but he nods. you take his hands carefully and put them at the hem of your shirt, guiding him to pull it up and over your head. you unclasp your bra and turn around to toss it over to your chair.

“now your turn,” you say gently, looking up at his eyes, which are still focused on your boobs.

“ju-un,” you murmur in a sing-song voice, and his eyes snap back to your face. “do you want to keep going?” 

“yeah,” he chokes out. “i mean– yes. yes, please.”

you coo at his manners, moving off of his lap to wiggle your pants down your legs. his eyes are completely transfixed on your body, admiring every inch of you that he can see.

“do you want to now?” you ask, and he nods rapidly. he stands up and throws his shirt off, and his pants are quick to follow until he’s sitting back in his chair in only his boxers. the lines of his stomach seem even more defined in the low light of the studio, and you so desperately want to run your hands up and down his torso, and feel every inch of him, but– one thing at a time.

you slide your panties off and go back to your position straddling his lap. “is this okay?” you ask again.

“mhm,” he hums lowly, and you feel it deep in your abdomen, walls clenching around nothing at the sound.

his eyes dart around your face, and you reach up to run your fingers through his hair, tucking it gently behind his ear. “are you ready?” you ask softly.

his eyes widen, and he springs into action, his hands flying to your waist again. “oh! okay, yes, yes, um…”

you try not to giggle at his enthusiasm. you trail your hand carefully down to the waistband of his shorts, slipping the tip of your finger inside the elastic. “you have to take this off, junnie,” you whisper.

“mm, okay,” he whines, and you lift up a little so he can slide them down without standing up. he kicks them off and you sit back down, looking down to see what you’re working with. now that he’s fully hard, you can see that he’s… big, much bigger than you expected from a man this shy.

but who are you to judge, so you adjust on his lap, sitting up to reach below you and take his cock in your hand, positioning it at your entrance. he whimpers at the contact as you slowly drag his tip through your folds, spreading your wetness around. 

“you just sit here and let me do all the work, baby, okay?” you hum, gripping his shoulder with your other hand. “let me make you feel good, hm?”

he lets out a garbled noise in response, barely comprehending your words at how engrossed he is with the way you’re holding his cock so delicately, waiting to push it inside and finally feel you.

“junnie, need you to use your words, honey,” you say gently, moving the hand on his shoulder to lightly cup his jaw, lifting his chin so his gaze lands on your face. “you have to tell me if you don’t like something or you wanna do something different, okay?

“i wanna do you,” he says, staring blankly into your eyes, and that’s when you know he’s already gone.

you giggle. “i know, baby. you’re going to. but you have to talk to me.”

“‘cause you like my voice.”

you resist the urge to cringe, still embarrassed that that’s the thing he remembers about you. “yes, i do, but no, that's not why. you need to tell me if you want to stop, at any time, and we’ll stop, okay?”

hearing your tone get serious, he seems to snap out of it a little. “okay,” he whimpers. “can i…?”

he trails off, and you shake your head. you know he’s shy, but you can’t let him off the hook every single time, or else he’ll never learn. “can you what, honey? use your words.”

by now the tips of his ears have turned red, and he’s beginning to lose control, his hips starting to grind against you involuntarily. “can i… fuck you?” he rasps.

“of course you can,” you coo, slipping your hand behind his neck and kissing him gently. “good job, baby.”

he mewls at the praise, and you finally start to sink down on his cock. it burns at first with how girthy he is, but soon the stretch feels good, and you have to fight to keep yourself upright on his lap, soft whimpers escaping your lips.

he groans, throwing his head back against the back of his chair, his grip on your waist tightening. it takes some time, but you finally sit all the way down on his lap, legs splayed on either side of his hips.

immediately he thrusts up into you hard, and you yelp, pushing on his shoulders to get him to stop. “wait!” you pant, squeezing your eyes shut in pain. “just… wait a second first.”

“s-sorry,” he whines, his adam’s apple bobbing with each labored breath.

“s’okay,” you breathe, beginning to adjust to the feeling of his thick cock throbbing inside you. “you’re… big, gotta– gotta give me a second, oh my god.”

he hums absently, clearly pleased with your response, but he manages to stop moving for a little bit.

you sit still on top of him, your muscles gradually beginning to relax as you get used to the feeling.

he sighs, his hands sliding up your back, caressing your skin beneath his fingertips.  “feels so good, just wanna… fuck, just wanna be inside you forever.”

you would be surprised at the sudden lewdness of his words, if you weren’t so focused on the way the tone of his voice has abruptly dropped an octave. he’s starting to get more comfortable, you can tell, and you won’t lie: it’s dangerous for you.

“can– are you okay now?” he asks, eyes focused back on your face again.

“mhm,” you manage, letting out a short exhale. you start to wind your hips in circles, bouncing slowly on his lap as his hands roam your body, touching every inch of you as if he’s trying to memorize every last curve.

it’s a gentle pace; although much too slow for you, you’re hoping it’s just right for junhui to start out with. you’re not used to being on top, so you’re doing your best to keep up, but your thigh is starting to cramp from the position you’ve been sitting in and having to do the work yourself.

he must notice your discomfort, because his hands fall back down to their place at your waist, kneading your skin as he lifts his hips against you in rhythm.

“can i take over?” he mumbles, voice breathy. “please, let me, please.”

“yes, please,” you sigh, your head falling forward to rest on his chest. his skin is burning hot beneath your cheek, and you exhale, closing your eyes from exhaustion.

as soon as you relax and stop moving your hips, his own start moving immediately, your surprised cry punctuated by hard thrusts up into you, over and over again.

you’re still trying to figure out where the hell he got all this stamina from when he starts murmuring in your ear, sweet, dirty whispers as he pounds into you from below.

“you’re so… beautiful, oh my god,” he says in the low voice you’re still struggling to get used to hearing come out of his mouth. “you’re so good, wanna have you like this forever, please–”

“jun, ke–keep talking, please,” you whimper, squeezing your eyes shut in pleasure.

“you like my voice, but you sound so pretty right now,” he groans. “you should hear yourself. wanna hear you cry and make you feel so good, wanna hear you– god, wanna fuck you like this all day and never stop.”

you let out a moan, his words going straight through you. the rumble in his chest as he speaks reverberates against your head. 

the combination of his brutal pace along with the innocently filthy words from his mouth brings you right up to the edge, and you feel the knot in your abdomen tightening.

you shift a little, moving up so you can wrap your arms around his neck, hiding your face in the crook of his neck.

his hips falter for half a second at the contact, but he recovers quickly, wrapping his long arms around you and pressing you flush against his chest, jerking you up and down on his cock with fervor.

“you’re so pretty, you’re so beautiful, you’re so perfect,” he babbles, somehow remembering to keep talking you through everything. “love you so much– fuck, thank you, you’re so amazing, you’re so–”

you almost miss the four-letter word that slips out in between his praises, but it rings through your ears, nestling itself in your heart. you decide to ignore it for now, too focused on chasing your rapidly approaching high, but you promise yourself you’ll talk to him after this is all over and figure out what this is between you two.

you whine, breath catching in your throat as your own words tumble out of you in a constant stream. “keep going, jun, please– keep going, so close, please, junnie please, need you–”

“are you gonna cum? you’re so perfect, please cum for me, please, baby, lemme hear you.”

“fuck, yes!” and with that you’re catapulting over the edge with a sob, clenching around his cock as your orgasm slams into you.

he keeps thrusting into you, not once stuttering as he fucks you through your high, content to keep going and going and going until–

“jun,” you call out weakly, head swirling as you try to sit up. “jun. jun, you can s-slow down.”

his hips begin to stop, slowing down until he’s gently rocking you back and forth on his lap. “did you cum already?” he asks in surprise. like a dork.

you choke out a laugh, head lolling as your arms loosen around his neck. “yeah. yeah, i did.”

“oh.”

if you weren’t so exhausted already, you would burst out laughing. “you’ll figure it out,” you wheeze, hoping it sounds reassuring. 

he starts to move his arms to let go of you, still wrapped around your torso, but you whine and he freezes.

“just… stay here first,” you say, letting your eyes fall shut for a second.

“why?”

you sigh. “because it’s nice.”

“oh,” he says again. he settles back into the chair, holding you on his lap, arms wrapped around you, just sitting quietly.

after a few more seconds of peace you pull yourself upright, pushing your hands against his chest.

“ …what now?” he asks quietly, eyes finding your face.

“you didn’t cum yet, right?” you say. he hums out a no. “then we keep going.”

he yelps in surprise when you start to lift yourself off his lap, his still-hard cock slipping out of you, now soaked in your juices. “don’t we have to wait for you?”

you fight the urge to slap your hand over your forehead. “i can cum more than once, honey. we don’t need to wait,” you say with the straightest face you can muster.

he nods, taking in this clearly unheard of information.

“do you want me to suck you off?” you ask, bringing his attention back to you.

“wh-what?” he stutters, face turning red, clearly not expecting it.

you take in a deep breath. “where do you want to finish?” you try instead, thinking it might help him decide.

“where will you let me?” he replies, wide eyes searching yours as if it’s a trick question designed to make him fail and you’re hiding the answer somewhere in your tender gaze.

“wherever you want, junnie.”

he pauses, like he’s making sure you aren’t lying to him. “can–” he clears his throat and starts again, more sure of himself. “i have an, um… idea.”

“mhm,” you breathe, watching him expectantly.

“do you think i could, maybe… stand up? and, have– you, over the…” he trails off, gesturing to the empty table beside you and hoping you’ll understand what he’s trying to say.

“you want to bend me over and fuck me on the table?” you translate for him, blinking.

instantly his cheeks flare, the shyness returning. “well, i… i. no, um, uh–”

“you can say yes, junnie. it’s hot.”

“you think so?” he squeaks in shock.

you giggle. “yes. you can do whatever you want to, just ask me first.”

his face breaks out into a wide grin. “okay. will you please, um, follow me?” he asks, holding out his arm like a waiter leading you to a table at a restaurant. if he wasn’t so damn cute you definitely would’ve smacked him by now.

you finally move off of his lap and step away, giving him room to move from his chair. you’d forgotten how big he is until he stands up, towering over you, and it sends an involuntary shiver down your spine. he turns and starts walking away, expecting you to follow him.

you laugh and grab his arm, pulling him back. when he looks at you in curiosity, you take his large hands and place them on your waist, motioning for him to guide you.

his mouth falls into an ‘o’ and he follows your lead, pushing you by your hips over to the table.

he stands behind you, caging you in against the table with his tall frame but otherwise not doing anything. you glance over your shoulder at him, nodding in approval.

his hands leave your waist and ever so gently press on your lower back to tilt you over. you comply, letting him move you how he wants.

“is that good?” he asks softly.

“it’s great,” you say, wiggling your ass playfully. “good job asking.”

he hums, so low it’s more like a growl, and it sends another shiver down your spine. at this angle you can feel his dick pressed against your ass, hard and throbbing.

he grinds against you, dragging his cock up and down your hole. you know he’s not doing it intentionally to tease you—you’re not even sure if he’s capable of that—but it does plenty to rile you up.

“junnie, please?” you gasp out, writhing your hips in search of friction, anything. his grip tightens on you, stilling your movements.

“what do i do?” he whispers.

“put it in,” you whisper back, unable to stop the giggle that slips out. he whines in annoyance, so you stop, giving him real advice this time. “just go slow. you can do it, baby.”

you angle your ass up, hoping to give him better access to your dripping hole. he’s already been inside you once, so surely he can find it again… right?

your expectations are clearly too high, because suddenly you feel his tip pressing in between your ass cheeks, and he’s—

you yelp, and he freezes, his hands flying off of you. you reach behind and stick your index finger into your pussy, using the rest of your fingers to spread your folds apart so he can see. “this one, baby.” at least he was going slow, like you said.

“oh! sorry, i’m so sorry,” he mumbles, and even without looking you already know he’s redder than a tomato. 

“jun. don’t apologize. it’s okay,” you say softly. you move your hand away from your pussy and reach it out to him, craning your neck to see him. you wave your fingers at him, and he takes your hand, automatically twining his fingers with yours. it makes you smile. “just go for it, honey.”

“okay,” he breathes, and he starts slowly pushing into you again (the right one this time).

tiny gasps fall from your lips as you feel him fill you up again, stuffing you with his cock, inch by careful inch. once he bottoms out you exhale, letting out the breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding in.

when you don’t feel any more movement, you realize he’s stopped, waiting. you almost whine at how cute and considerate he is, but instead you just squeeze his hand. “baby, you can move.”

“okay,” he says again, and pulls out carefully before slowly pushing back in.

you moan as he starts to increase his pace, rapidly pumping into you as his hips smack against your ass. you arch your back a little, trying to angle him in deeper. each powerful thrust pushes you against the table, your hip bones hitting the edge in a way that’ll definitely leave bruises. but you can’t bring yourself to care when junhui’s thick cock is thrusting into you like his life depends on it. 

still holding onto his hand, you slip your other hand down to run your fingers over your clit, rubbing small circles. you can feel the pressure in your abdomen growing, and—

“fuck, you’re so tight,” jun groans, voice thick with need, and he begins pushing into you even harder than before, something you didn’t even think could be possible. you whine and move your hand from your clit back to the edge of the table to stop yourself from ramming into it.

he notices your elbow bent at an awkward angle to protect yourself, so he lets go of your hand and snakes around your stomach to pull you back so you’re standing upright, both his arms wrapped securely around your body. “feels so good… god, wish i had done this sooner, you’re so amazing, so perfect, for me.”

you whimper at his words, unintentionally clenching around him. “jun,” you cry out softly.

“fuck, baby, say my name again– please, like that, baby, please say it, again,” he begs you, fingers pressing into your skin that you’re sure will leave you covered in little oval-shaped bruises by the time he’s done.

“jun! please, i’m so close, jun,” you moan, repeating his name over and over again like a mantra, getting closer and closer to your release with each syllable.

“i’m cl-close too, baby, please… you’re so good, fuck! you’re so good.”

the constant praise is almost too much, and with one more sharp thrust you’re coming undone on his cock for the second time. your legs wobble as you struggle to stay standing, your hands coming up to hang on to junhui’s strong arms wrapped around you for support.

he whines loudly, and you know he must be getting close, too. “can i– can i cum on your back?” he pants out, still gripping you tightly. as much as he really, really wants to cum inside you, he figures it might be messier than cumming on you. and besides, he doesn’t want to get too greedy; it is only his first, after all.

“yes! yes please, yes, jun,” you manage, still wading through the aftershocks of your orgasm.

a little harder than he intends, he’s shoving you roughly down onto the table again, pulling his dick out of you to jerk himself over you.

“junnie, please,” you whimper out weakly, and the sweet sounding words on your lips have him choking back a sob as he cums, thick spurts of white painting your lower back.

he keeps moving his hand on his cock until he’s completely finished, panting heavily. by the time he’s done you’re both sticky with sweat, breathing like you’ve just run a marathon.

you let out a long sigh, feeling exhausted but satisfied. silence settles over the studio, the music long stopped, but you can’t tell if it’s a good silence or a bad silence.

you realize you’d closed your eyes while jun was cumming, and when you don’t feel his touch anymore, you slowly pry them open again, wondering where he went. 

you prop your head up in your hands and look behind you to see jun hastily pulling on his boxers and jeans. 

your jaw drops in horror. you’d thought, with his inexperience, he wouldn’t be like all the other guys who fuck and then take off, but apparently, you thought wrong.

“jun!”

his head whips around as he pulls his zipper up, eyes wide like a deer in headlights.

“are you seriously gonna just leave?”

his mouth falls open. “no! of course not! i was just putting my pants back on.”

your expression softens. “oh,” you say quietly, face flushing at having jumped to conclusions so quickly. “sorry.”

“why would i wanna leave after this?” he frowns, looking genuinely appalled at the mere idea that someone might do that. “you’re still here.”

“i thought, since–” you start, then pause. discussion for another time. “nevermind, it’s not important. but why were you putting your pants on like you were gonna leave?”

you’re the one feeling embarrassed, but it’s junhui that turns red and starts stuttering. “well, i– um, i didn’t want you to… see…”

you laugh and put your head back in your arms. when you don’t say anything, he calls out your name nervously, and you look back over at him.

“junnie, your dick was just in me. twice. i don’t care what it looks like.”

“okay,” he says shyly, but his fingers still fumble with the button of his jeans.

you sigh once he finishes adjusting his pants. whatever makes him more comfortable, you suppose. “jun, can you… help me clean up now, please?” you ask timidly.

he glances over at you, looking like he’s about to ask why you need help, but then he sees you still bent awkwardly over the table and his cum still covering your back, and his eyes widen. “oh! shit, yeah– yes, i’m so sorry, i will–” he stammers, almost tripping over his backpack in his hurry to go get a tissue from the box by the door.

you sigh, more exhausted than mad, knowing you can’t really fault him. he comes back over a second later, gripping a wadded-up handful of tissues.

he drops them on your back and begins wiping at your skin, gingerly cleaning you off. when he’s satisfied with his work, he balls up the tissues and tosses them into the small can by the door.

“oh!” he says, realizing. “i think we have antibacterial wipes in here too, do you want me to use one of those? er, wait, i don’t know if they’re safe for skin…”

with your back (mostly) clean again, you stand up, wincing at the ache in your hips. “it’s fine, don’t worry about it. i’ll shower when i get home.”

you limp over to your chair, picking up your clothes and sitting down to start getting dressed again.

when jun finishes pulling his shirt over his head and looks over at you he gasps, seeing the bruises across your hips and tummy. “holy shit! did i do that?” he asks, looking horrified, and you look down to check.

“oh. yeah, that and the table,” you shrug, hooking your bra behind your back.

“i’m sorry,” he says, voice quivering, and he genuinely looks like he’s about to cry until you convince him you’re alright and he didn’t do anything wrong.

“it’s not supposed to hurt, though, i thought,” he frowns. “i don’t want to hurt you. i lo– um, like you,” he says, “why would i want to hurt you?” he catches himself quickly, but you heard what he started to say. you decide now isn’t the best moment for you to bring it up, so you leave it alone.

“sometimes people like it when it hurts. sometimes people like it not to hurt. everybody’s different,” you tell him instead.

he nods, thinking. “i… liked this,” he says finally.

you smile, finishing putting the last of your clothes back on. “good, i’m glad. you’re supposed to enjoy it.”

“did… you like it?” he asks tentatively.

“yes, i did like it,” you giggle, and he beams, clearly proud of himself. and he should be. obviously it wasn’t the most perfect of your life, but when is it ever? it was close enough to perfect that it might as well be.

“you live on campus, right? so i don’t need to walk you to your car?” he asks, grabbing his jacket that somehow fell on the floor and tossing it onto his chair as he starts to shut everything down in the studio.

you sigh. damn, you’d forgot about this part. sure, a couple hours ago you could walk just fine to the communications building on the complete opposite side of campus, but you hadn’t planned on getting railed within an inch of your life so you hadn’t exactly thought to bring your car. “yeah, but i… it’s on the south end, and i probably won’t be able to walk very far,” you mumble, avoiding his gaze. “i’ll take the shuttle.”

he frowns. “i’m not gonna let you take the bus. i can give you a ride.”

“you don’t need to, jun.”

“yes, i do,” he says assertively, and it startles you enough to meet his eyes. you haven’t ever heard his voice that firm, and when you look up his expression is as equally determined as his tone. not that you’d ever admit it to him, but it is kind of… hot.

you decide not to argue with him, knowing you won’t be able to change his mind anyway. you nod an ‘okay’, and his face instantly brightens to the awkward, nerdy jun you’re used to, beaming like he did when you first agreed to another date, back in the café what feels like ages ago.

“are you doing anything tonight?” you ask, watching him shut down the equipment and turn all the knobs and dials to an off position.

“no. i mean, i was gonna catch up on my show, but then, i didn’t expect for… this, to happen, so…” he shrugs. “i don’t know.”

“do you wanna come over? i… i mean, not to do anything. just… wanna be with you.” your voice comes out smaller than you intend it to, but jun still hears you loud and clear.

“yeah,” he grins. “yeah, that would be really cool.”

he pauses, looking like he wants to ask you something but not sure if he should. “can i give you a hug?” he says finally.

you smile. only junhui would ask for something as small and sweet as a hug after having sex. “yes, please.”

he crosses the room in two strides, barely giving you time to process before he’s squeezing you in his arms. you sigh and automatically melt into his arms, inhaling the perfumey scent of his cologne lingering on his wrinkled clothes.

it feels… good, being cared about.

he finishes shutting everything down quickly and grabs his things, swinging his backpack over his shoulder as he flips off the lights and closes the door behind you, making sure it’s locked before heading down the stairs.

you hate the way your legs tremble going down the steps, cursing him for being so good at his first time, because who the hell is that good their first time? already at the bottom of the stairs, jun looks back to see where you are and why you aren’t beside him, and, seeing you gripping onto the side railing for support, he dashes back up the steps two at a time to grab your arm and help you.

“you weren’t kidding when you said you couldn’t walk,” he giggles, holding the door open for you, and oh my god you want to hit him. “does that always happen? i thought people always just made that up to sound cool.”

“yes, i wasn’t kidding, and no, it doesn’t always,” you mutter, face heating in embarrassment. “depends on the person and how rough it is.”

his smile widens, the implied meaning of your words sinking in. “so what you’re saying is, my di–”

“junnie, if you finish that sentence, i swear to god i will never have sex with you ever again.”

he giggles, but he shuts his mouth, helping you the rest of the way to his car in silence. this time you know for sure, it’s a good silence.

his car is nicer than you’d expect a man’s car to be: clean and fairly organized, and there’s no half-eaten fast food in the backseat. he swings open the door for you and tries to help you sit down, but you swat his hand away.

he jogs around to the driver side door and slides into the seat, slamming it shut behind him. he buckles up, then grabs a candy cane from the pile in the cupholder and holds it out to you. “candy cane?”

“i’m… good,” you laugh, forcing yourself not to make a joke about having better things to suck on. why does he even have those in his car?

the ride to your apartment complex is pleasant. as expected from the radio man himself, as soon as the key is in the ignition, he turns the radio on, humming along to every song. you find yourself spending most of the drive staring at him, studying the tiny features in his cheeks when he smiles and the way his adam’s apple bobs when he hums.

after a shower, clean pajamas, and a raid of your refrigerator for snacks and something to drink, you’re snuggled up on the couch with jun, catching up on the show he wanted to watch. it’s the middle of some random season and you have no idea what’s going on, but you don’t care. just being here with him is more than enough for you, and you’re glad he’s enjoying being here, too.

“do you have a voice kink?” he asks suddenly at one of the commercials.

you nearly choke on your gatorade. “i– well, i mean… i didn’t used to, but…” you sputter out, your cheeks burning in embarrassment. “where did you even hear that?”

“jeonghan said you might.”

you scoff. you still haven’t met junhui’s broadcasting partner yet, but you already have some choice words in mind for him when you do finally get to have the pleasure of meeting him. “well, tell him to keep his thoughts to himself,” you say, taking another smaller sip and avoiding his grin.

“so is that a yes?”

you roll your eyes and ignore him, which might as well be a yes, but you choose not to admit it. you know you definitely need to talk to him about… everything, but he seems so happy right now, you don’t want to risk ruining the evening.

but luckily for you, he brings it up himself at the next commercial break.

“how long do i have to wait until i can ask you to be my girlfriend?” he says, muting the tv and looking over at you.

you laugh. “were we not… already?” you ask. “we’ve been on, like, four dates. usually that part happens before you have sex.”

he looks a little disappointed, for some reason. not exactly the reaction you’d expect when someone tells you they want to keep seeing you. “oh. um, well…” he starts, scratching at the back of his neck. “i planned it all out, i was gonna do this big thing and ask you. i thought i was supposed to. i meant to do it earlier, but…” he trails off, cheeks turning pink.

your expression softens. “you… can ask me now,” you say, putting your hand on his thigh.

“okay.” he clears his throat, sitting up straighter on the couch. “will you be my girlfriend?”

you try not to laugh at how serious he is, knowing he’s really, really trying. “yes, of course,” you reply, trying to match his seriousness.

“is that okay? that i didn’t do it right?” he asks nervously, fiddling with the hem of the blanket covering your laps.

you smile and bring your hand up to his cheek, pulling him towards you to give him a quick kiss. “you did it perfect, junnie.”

taglist | @rae-ha-writes @listxn @babebatter @shuatm @yeosayang @noniestars @enhacolor @kimy3na @candidupped @berrryshortcake @tinkerbell460 @haraethx @iheartyeonnnnn @onlymingyus @brrrlamborgini @foxdaisy @wonderfulshinee @mxnghao8

join my taglist here!

[heaven4lostgirls]

reconciliation (S.R)

pairing: steve rogers x fem!reader, billy russo x reader implied

warnings: angst, jealousy, kind of toxic?

summary: your conversation with steve has left him reeling to try and get you back, and you've just dropped the biggest blow to his chances of trying to win you back.

word count: 1.3k

a/n: i'm really sorry this took so long to get out, uni has swamped me with work but here i am ig! maybe another update will get out during the weekend? dont hold me to that tho lmao

tags: @blackhawkfanatic , @buckys-wintersoldier , @witchychanel , @nicoline1998enilocin

part 1, part 2, part 3

You weren’t sure what you were expecting after your conversation with Steve if you could even call it that. It had been a couple of weeks and surely but surely you had started warming up to him again, it started with small nods in his direction as a greeting but that soon moved into small conversations. It had been a slow and torturous process for Steve, but he knew just as well as you did that, he was nowhere near even being able to exercise the ability to complain about his situation after what he had put you through.

The real heartbreak hit him when he realised, you’d been looking for apartments and job hunting, for some reason he had assumed that although you no longer joined the avengers for meeting briefings and were off the last few missions, you were just taking a break. Evidently, he was quite wrong, you had been spending your time responding to ‘work-related’ emails regarding a company called Anvil run by Billy Russo.

Now, Steve hardly kept up with any news that was not regarding his position as Captain America and very loosely he kept up with the NFL, so he knew next to nothing about Billy Russo until he was listening to your conversation with Tony in the kitchen.

You had walked in to make your breakfast and just as Steve and you had good morning to one another, Tony strolled through the open door on the phone with Pepper, adamantly in an argument with something to do with Tony’s public appearance at some gala.

“Pep-honey-, yes I understand but-“ Tony rolls his eyes and what Pepper says next and as you make your way to give him some privacy, he holds up his hands to make you wait and as your quirk an eyebrow, you lean against the kitchen counter waiting for the conversation to end. “Fine! Whatever you want! Just please don’t seat me next to that mayor” he pauses “yes! That one! He always smells like cheese” Tony shivers and you and Steve share a quick smile of amusement before you look away with flaming cheeks.

Tony hangs up the call and looks at you with a sly smile.

“Anvil huh?” he asks as he makes his way around you and Steve to the coffee machine, with a quick good morning to Steve, he looks at you expectantly.

“Oh, come off it Stark, I put in my two week notice ages ago, knowing Friday, he probably already told you when I applied” you reply with a joking eyeroll.

An automated voice floods through the system and you nearly jump out of your skin” I would never Miss Y/L/N” you’ve still got to get used to that. 

“Anvil?” Steve questions tersely with pursed lips, you can’t tell if it’s out of anger or worry.

“Yeah! It’s a private military firm and since I used to be in the Navy, Billy reached out to me and offered me a position as his personal assistant!” you reply enthusiastically and through your excitement, you fail to notice how Steve’s face falls and Tony’s eyes light up with humour.

“Billy huh?” Steve’s strained smile makes you pause for a second before Tony snorts into his coffee and as you turn to glare at him, he shrugs innocently.

“Yes. Billy. He asked me to call him that because we’ll be working together” you reply curtly and fight the urge to lash out at Steve and let him know he has no right to be jealous because he no longer has anything remotely more than friendship connecting the both of you.

“Doesn’t hurt that he’s good looking either” Tony remarks and yelps as you swiftly throw one of the knives near you towards the cupboards right next to his head.

You shake your head and move to leave the kitchen before you turn around to the both of them and remark “I shall now be going to set up a meeting time with my boss if that’s okay with you two idiots?” you smile sarcastically, and Tony just waves you off.

Steve frowns as he watches you leave with an ugly feeling of jealousy bubbling underneath his skin, he glares at the counter in front of him before his anger is interrupted by Tony’s voice floating through the silent room.

“You know, you were her boss once” he remarks, after he had comforted you as you sobbed in his arms, he had been particularly harsh and unwelcoming to Steve even though you had spoken to him about Steve trying to work whatever your relationship with him was.

“I’m aware” Steve responds as he grits his teeth whilst fighting the urge to break the granite counter under his fingertips. He scoots his chair out as he makes his way to ask Bucky to train with him, he’s got some anger to work out and Bucky is realistically the only person that could handle his full super soldier strength pummeling at them.

You had successfully set a meeting time to go over your contract with Billy with his current personal assistant since she’d be taking her maternity leave in the next couple of weeks.  Your mind had kept wondering to Steve’s reaction to you getting a new job, you understood his jealousy all too well since that wasn’t even the beginning of your deep-rooted jealousy and insecurities that affected you by Steve’s relationship with Sharon.

Still, you knew that it was no longer your responsibility to worry about his own emotions and how he coped with them. You no longer felt complied to comfort him whenever you saw his sorrowful longing gaze towards you whenever you walked into a room, or when hurt and pain flashes through his gaze whenever you referred to him as ‘Rogers’ in front of the others.

Meanwhile in the training room, instead of focusing on the hand-to-hand combat Steve had asked Bucky to help him with, he was basically interrogating his friend.

“What do you know about some guy called Billy Russo?” Steve panted as he tried to dodge Bucky’s jabs as he moves swiftly and quickly around the mat.

“Not much mate, just that he’s stinking rich for his age- hey! stop fucking jumping around like a goddamn bunny punk” Bucky huffs out at Steves insistent buoyancy.

“I’m just light on my feet!” Steve defends.

“Yeah, if you were on a fucking bouncy castle” Bucky rolls his eyes and winces as he doesn’t dodge Steve’s punch in time.

“Is he good looking?” Steve asks and Bucky has to pause to look at his friend with a weird expression. Steve just stands there with a serious expression and widens his eyes as if to say go on.

“Sure pal, the dude’s good looking, he was in that fuckin Forbes magazine for Millionaires under 30” Bucky says and watches as Steve loses focus, Bucky aims for his weak spot on his right shoulder and watches as his best friend collapses onto the mat, out of breath.

“What’s with all the questions punk?” Bucky frowns as he holds his hand out for Steve to take and as he pulls him up, he watches as his friend’s winces at the question.

“Y/N is going to work for him” Steve says and Bucky nods with a pitying smile on his face that Steve hates. He doesn’t want pity, he wants to fix this, except he doesn’t know how.

You’ve never looked better the past couple of weeks after yours and Steve’s separation, it’s almost as Steve was constantly sucking the life out of you and now you looked just as good as the first day, he met you.

He hates the idea of you going out into public and working under someone else just for someone to see what he once saw in you, now that he knew that you were unattainable for him at the current time but attainable for people like Billy fuckin Russo made him feel closer to possessive and feral than he’s ever felt.

“Then we’ve got work to do mate” Bucky slaps a hand on his shoulder as he maneuvers him out of, the room, chatting away about a plan to win y/n back. Steve is hardly listening and is planning to kill Billy Russo in 300 different ways before he’s even able to think about having a chance with you.

[arlh0e]

Almost (sweet music)

Part: 1/? “All Things End”

Summary: You’d lived in Ireland for just over a year, having moved for work, and you had managed to find a group of people who you could call friends, and one in particular who was more than that. You and Andrew had been practically attached at the hip for almost 6 months now. You loved everything about him, his music and his way with words just added to that love you have for him. But you know he wont be home forever, with his new album, he’s Leaving for tour.

Rating: Very mature at times (No smut in this part)

Warnings: not proof-read and I kept trying to switch point of views in the middle of this shit cause I’m an idiot, so if you see that, ignore it lmao, Hozier X Fem! Reader, No smut, fluff, Established relationship, no use of Y/n (I still think that shit is annoying), ANGST, I’m serious, this shit starts off bad and just gets worse, read at your own risk, I’m boutta make you sad as fuck

Word count: Idk I’ll check later, and if I forget, my bad I guess.

I had been staying with Andrew for a few days, I was fully aware that he had to leave soon and that he would be gone for months. The tour in its whole would last over a year, and he wouldn’t’ be back for an extended period of time until December. This was something that the two of us had discussed at length, and though I dreaded the fact that he would be gone, I had Tod him everything would be okay without him here. I knew that the second he left you would be an inconsolable mess.

He was scheduled to leave in the morning, and although we had both made the decision to stay together in the days leading up to the departure, tonight seemed a bit off. I had been watching a movie on the couch for a while, while Andrew made the two of us dinner. He was making pasta, homemade pesto sauce with tortellini noodles (If you don’t like pesto sauce, sorry it’s my favorite 🤷‍♀️) He usually listened to music while he was cooking, sometimes he even danced and sang while he was in the kitchen, but tonight, nothing. He was just standing over the stove, making dinner without a sound.

I didn’t want to say anything about it, just because if he was upset about leaving in the morning, I didn’t want to make it worse for the both of us. Tomorrow morning would be hard enough, why ruin the last night we have together?

I don’t have to wait very long for him to bring two plates of food to the couch and he hands me one. The bottle of wine and glasses that he also brings in with the food does take me a bit by surprise. Although, it wasn’t completely uncommon of him to open a bottle of wine for the two of us to drink with dinner, however, that was usually reserved for a very very happy Andrew, which I knew he wasn’t. It almost seemed as if he was trying to drink in attempt to not have to think about the inevitability of his flight tomorrow.

I knew that he was excited to be touring again, and I was so proud of him and the album which I had watched him work so hard on for almost a year, even before we were together, I could tell that his Music was the single most important thing in his life.

“What are you thinking about?” I nudge him with my elbow while taking a bite of my food, smiling slightly as he turns to me. His stare is almost entirely blank, also unusual for him, he was almost always smiling, but now it seemed as if he was completely devoid of any emotion.

He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. “I don’t wanna leave you here. It’s not fair.” He was so tense, and I didn’t want to pry, but I knew that there was something else going on.

“It’s really okay. You’ll be back in December, it’s not that far out. Plus we can call every night and in the grand scheme of things, a year isn’t that long.” I shrug and lean your head onto his shoulder before continuing. “Plus, it wouldn’t be fair to you for me to ask you to stay. I want you to be happy, and your music makes you happy.” I smile up at him a bit.

The smile he offers in return is so sad. I hate seeing him like this. Everything about the absence of his nearly ever present smile and the sudden serious tone of his entire demeanor was off-putting. Something was wrong. Really, really wrong.

“I mean it’s not fair to you.” He sighs and moves himself away from me, causing my head to fall a little before I regain my stability and face him. “I’m not gonna make you sit here and wait around for me to get back. You deserve more than a relationship that happens over a fucking phone.” He’s running his hands over his face, I can tell he’s trying really hard to maintain the look and the idea that he was numb and didn’t feel any of this.

“Andrew, I don’t care. I’ll be okay, You’ll be back and everything will be fine once you’re home, and I mean, who knows what the situation will be next tour, we’ll figure it out.” I move to take his hand, but he pulls away from me.

“No. I will not put you through that. It’s not up for discussion.” His words are harsh and absolute. I’ve never seen him act this way, even in arguments, he never just stopped listening and refused to give me a chance to voice my opinion.

“What’s wrong with you? Like you get to decide what my feelings are for me? No. That’s bull shit Andrew.” I raise my voice at him a bit, knowing where this is going and knowing that he realistically wont be swayed, I still try. Even if it wont work, I know that I wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if I didn’t try everything first. “I want to be with you, you do realize that leaving forever is gonna hurt worse than you not being physically here for a few months right?”

“I never said it would be forever I just,” He stops for a moment to breathe, gathering his thoughts with his head in his hands. “I’ve done this before, okay? I know how this goes, you’ll be all for it at the beginning, and by the time I come back for a bit, you’ll be planning a break up speech because you cant handle it. I don’t want to waste your time that way.” He sits up again and turns to look back at me, taking one of my hands in both of his. “I’m not saying that it’s forever. I’m saying that I don’t want you here just waiting for me to get back. I want you to be able to be happy and not have to live your life through a computer screen because you want us to be together without actually being together. If I get back and this is still what you want then I will be more than happy to pick back up right where we left off. I swear. I just don’t want to destroy what we have in the process of trying to keep it safe.”

At this point, I’m crying. I don’t fully understand the point of this. As far as I’m concerned, people who love each other should be together and circumstance shouldn’t change that. If we were truly made for one another, then him being going wouldn’t change anything. “If that’s really what you want, fine. I don’t understand the point because I’m just gonna be waiting either way, but fine. Do whatever you want.” I honestly cant even rationalize my anger with him. I can’t think of any reason why he would do this. I can’t bring yourself to actually believe him.

I don’t even think as I get up from the couch and pull my arm away from him to grab my stuff to leave. “Wait, I thought you were staying the night.” I can barely hear his voice from behind me, for the first time tonight, I hear his voice break.

“Yeah, I was, and then you broke up with me.” I don’t even turn around. “Normal people don’t have sleepovers with their exes Andrew.”

“It’s not-“ His voice cracks again. “Baby, it’s not like that I just-“

“You just don’t wanna be with me right now and it just so happens to be while you’re going to be on tour. And what’s worse is that you’re trying to make me feel like this is about you caring for me.” I laugh and shake my head. “and to think, I actually sat here and thought that this was gonna be it for me. That you were gonna be it for me. God.” I’ve. walked out of his house by this point, with my house being just across the street, I do my best to walk away from him, a feat which isn’t easy given his long legs and how quickly he’s trailing behind me.

“You really think so little of me that I would break up with you for something like that? So that I could, what? Sleep with fans on the bus after shows? Christ, why would I do that? If it were up to me, I’d bring you with me. Hell, if it were up to me, I’d Marry you right now and we’d never be apart again, but it’s not fucking up to me.” I can tell at this point without even looking back that he’s crying. I don’t know what to believe.

Finally, I turn around and stop. I take in one shaky breath with my eyes closed before opening them on the exhale. “I need you to go home. I need time to process all of this, and I need to be away from you to do so.” Looking up at him and seeing the way his tears fell freely from the beautiful green eyes which I had grown to love with every fiber of my being, I almost give in and stay. I almost find it in me to sit down and talk with him about how to make this work with a compromise. “I’ll see you tomorrow. At the airport, okay?” I reach up and wipe the tears from his face and then turn and keep walking.

***

The next morning is hell.

I have to drag myself out of bed, and the events of last night just make me feel even more like curling up under the covers and sobbing is the right move for this morning.

I really just couldn’t bring myself. to believe that he was doing this because he thought it would benefit me.

Even after I ha specifically told him that all I wanted was to stay together and to be with him. He was the best thing about me. I breathed differently when we were together, I was more myself around him than I was alone. Something about the fact that he didn’t want me anymore was terrifying.

When I finally muster enough courage to get out of bed, I had 10 minutes before I had to leave to see Andrew and the band off. I wouldn’t have had the energy to get dressed up anyways, so having woken up late just gave me an excuse to wear sweats and a hoodie and look how I felt.

I had already promised to give everyone a ride to the airport, and of course, with him living down the street, I had to pick up Andrew first.

I didn’t want to be alone with him. The thought actually made me feel physically ill, I really had no clue how I would be able to even look at him without crying. I wondered for a moment if he had talked to the band about his decision. Did they all know before I did? I doubted that Mia would have known and not knocked some sense into him, and Alex likely would have done the same. They probably knew by now, but the idea that they had known before he did it was far fetched at best.

When I reach his driveway, I text him a quick ‘Hey, I’m here’ and wait for a second before I see him leave his house, locking the door behind him and carrying his bags to the trunk of my car. He walks back around and sits in the passenger seat.

“Hey.” He’s so quiet I can barely hear him, and looking over at him now from a closer distance, he looks like he’s literally been crying all night. His eyes are glassy, he’s likely not had any sleep, the bags under his eyes are exceptionally puffy and red. His voice is unstable, even though he had only said the one word, I could tell that his voice was raw.

“Hey.” I want to say more. I want to apologize for leaving things the way I did last night. I want to talk to him about why I think that this is a bad idea and that all that’s going to happen is that we’ll both be miserable until he gets back, and then we’ll be even more miserable when he gets here because there’s no getting back together after a year of little to no contact. It just wont happen.

The silence in the car is deafening. Even with the music playing, a playlist that we had composed together, a list of our favorite songs, and neither of us dared to even sing along. The air was so thick with tension, I swear I could see it hanging there in between us. Nothing about this seemed right.

Part of me wanted to hate him for this. I wanted to be angry and never speak to him again because of this whole situation he had created for us and another part of me wanted to beg him to just give me a chance to prove him wrong about this.

The most heartbreaking thing about his actions was that Andrew was truly the first person I had ever been with who felt like him. He was the first person I’d dated who made my life make more sense with him in. It. We weren’t meant to be apart. And he knew that just as well as I did and yet here we are.

“I am sorry about all of this.” He’s still so quiet.

“I just don’t understand why you refuse you give me any say in it. Or at least try to have faith in the fact that I love you and i want to be with you regardless.” My hands tighten around the wheel and my eyes narrow, glaring at the road ahead of me, as if it were the one to blame for this mess.

“It’s not that I don’t believe that you love me, I just don’t want to risk you falling out of love because I’m not here and I’m always too busy to talk to you.” His hands are in his hands again, his palms pressed firmly over his eyes and his fingers drawing smoothing circles in his hair. “I’m all too aware of. How much I’m hurting both of us in this, but I don’t want to lose you completely. Even if that means we need to bust friends for a while.”

I sigh and continue my death glare out the windshield. “Fine, but for the record, I still think this is bull shit.”

We make our way to pick everyone else up, I silently thank whatever god is out there when Alex gets in the car and seems to either not know or not care about Andrews and my current arrangement, he just skips to making conversation with him from the backseat. I start to think he hasn’t told anyone when we pick up Mia and she also says nothing about it, so I opt to just not say anything and laugh when appropriate, but otherwise stay out of the conversation the three of them are engrossed in.

When we get to the airport is the moment when everything kicks in for me. I help with everyone’s bags as they get everything checked, just barely holding myself together, but when I realize that it’s time for them to make their way to security and I have to go, I lose it.

My body moves of its own volition, before I know it, I’m sobbing into Andrew’s chest with my arms around him. He doesn’t seem shocked, or even slightly taken aback, Without any kind of hesitation, I feel his arms around me and his head leaning down against mine with one hand soothing my hair.

“For she, my pride, my lovely one, is lost, and I am left, in hopeless anguish tossed.” His voice is just barely above a whisper, just loud enough for the two of us to hear. The particular poem he’s quoting, he knows is one of my favorites, Herbert Giles’s ‘Gone’, one that I introduced to him before we started dating, one that I never thought I would hear him say in the context of this situation and with the weight that it bears in this moment.

And yet, somehow it’s almost comforting to know that of all of the poetry he’s read about love lost and the grief that comes with it, that this is what comes to mind. I melt then and there.

“I promise, when I get back, we will get right back to being so in love that the gods are jealous of our devotion to each other. I swear.” He kisses the top of my head through my hair and pulls away from me to look at my tear stained face. “So long as you’ll have me, I swear I will make this up to you when I come home. I’ll beg on my knees for forgiveness if need be.”

I wipe some of my stray tears away from my face and roll my eyes. “ You have a lot of groveling in your future, rest assured.” We both laugh a little bit.

He leans down and softly, but over so quickly plants a kiss on my lips. It’s fleeting, and barely there, but followed with an “I love you.”

“Always.”

And with that, I let him go and he walks away, without a single turn backward.

Okay, listen.Be mad if you want, but trust the process, a series wouldn’t be interesting without conflict, and I created that shit from the get go. I swear to god, this isn’t gonna be one of those 90% miscommunication trope things, no. It’s an “I love you but I can’t have you, but I cant help myself” kinda thing, We’ll get there. It’s gonna be fun. Lmk if you wanna be on the tag list, cause I have no idea when the next update will be.

Also, props to @itsjustmarwa for the idea, you’re a real one.

[starsandhughes]

Penalty Box— Quinn Hughes Edition (Part Sixteen)

SERIES MASTERLIST

previous: fifteen

next: seventeen

SUNDAY, APRIL 2ND

yourusername

liked by _quinnhughes, lhughes_06, and 8,552 others

yourusername welcome to my postgame penalty box update show: quinnjamin edition! he is at one game more than the total amount of goals scored tonight in the very sad 4-1 loss against the kings. tonight was what the canucks called “autism acceptance night” which really warms my heart. it’s much better than “autism awareness” because we are all clearly aware of autism.

what DID happen tonight was quinn getting hit up against the boards, something that rarely ever happens! i checked both broadcasts, and both were very perplexed as to how he was in that situation. rough him up, kings! just don’t kill him! i’m all for it!

special shoutout to petey (@_eliaspettersson)! he was given a double minor, protested it, and the penalty was wiped! good for him! he even drew a penalty tonight by getting high sticked by quinton byfield— so one quint(i/o)n was in fact in the box tonight. love ya, petey!

my second shoutout is to akita hirose (@/kithirosee) for making his nhl debut tonight! you were great tonight, kid! welcome to the team! i’m sure i’ll love you when i meet you!

and, as always, shoutout to quintin for not dying in his 29:38 minutes of ice time! and for putting up with me <3 i love you with my whole butt!💙

tagged _quinnhughes

view all 239 comments

_quinnhughes it’s all fun and games until i get hurt, missy

yourusername i’m sorry, you missed a step in this conversation

_quinnhughes i love you, too, y/n/n💙

yourusername tysm continue

_quinnhughes it’s all fun and games until i get hurt, missy

yourusername so don’t jinx yourself you dumb slut!

_quinnhughes right, of course. my bad.

user1 the commentators truly were gobsmacked at huggy getting hit lmao

lhughes_06 rip quinn but that was funny

yourusername it twas

jackhughes top notch comedy imo

_quinnhughes don’t i suffer enough? must we bully me?

lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes you haven’t suffered enough

jackhughes @_quinnhughes not even close

yourusername @_quinnhughes just family things✨

user2 the canucks have a new player every game now let’s see how long this streak lasts

trevorzegras have a nice time hugging the glass, huggy bear? @_quinnhughes

_quinnhughes have a nice time getting rammed into the boards by petey last game?

trevorzegras …

yourusername “the woman was too stunned to speak”

user3 i thoroughly enjoy the extremely brief somewhat of a game recap y/n gives us now

user4 everyone lost tonight and i hated it thx

kithirosee thank you! can’t wait to meet you!

_quinnhughes she is in fact great don’t let these posts fool you

yourusername @_quinnhughes s a p

_quinnhughes i stand corrected

_alexturcotte maybe if they hit him hard enough he’ll go feral

yourusername i like your thinking turcs!

_quinnhughes i do not

yourusername aw boo hoo :(

user5 huggy said 😛 but less happy

jackhughes what if i fight him? do you support this?

yourusername interesting. i have not pondered this.

_quinnhughes i’ll win

jackhughes @_quinnhughes i’m bigger than you

yourusername @/jackhughes he might be small but he be scary (like me)

_quinnhughes @/yourusername thank you…?

_eliaspettersson i love you too!

yourusername you’re so sweet <3 unlike some people!

_quinnhughes @/yourusername I SAID IT BACK, WOMAN

yourusername @_quinnhughes AFTER I CALLED YOU OUT, HIMBO

_eliaspettersson added this to their story

[theintrovertbean]

Hello there! I've never done a request in my life so this is a first

Your writing is great and I've decided trust you with a quest most frivolous, quill-master 🫡

Could you do a "Nadia with a female reader who is very - and I mean very - extraverted, bold, outspoken (but not in a dumb way 💀), kind of comedy master who just can't be intimidated even by the gods themselves?" LMAO I think I'm kinda bad at this but you feel what I'm trying to say right? You know like that one player in D&D who has maxed out charisma 🤓

And perhaps, if you feel like it, how that would work out in their bedroom dynamics?

ANYWAYS, thanks for being one of the last people on this app who make outstanding Nadia content AND THANKS FOR THE ATTENTION TOO OKAY BYE

This is kinda long I'm so sorry 💀

Hello Beatriz 👀 If I may call you that.

It always warms my heart when someone trusts me with their first request, so thank you, I hope I did alright 😭❤

This ended up being longer than I expected. Like, idk how? I wrote a sentence and panicked for like two hours because I had no idea what else to write, and then boom, it was there? I guess that means it's a very good ask 😎

I included a bit of spice, btw. Enjoy!

Ohh and I don't mind the long ask. On the contrary 👀

Nadia x Extroverted Fem!Reader

It is no secret that the Countess is quite an introverted woman, so your extroverted nature was a bit foreign to her at first. She felt insecure because what if you think she's not fun enough? Of course, no one would ever think that, but it took a few hugs and kisses to make Nadia feel alright again.

You tend to be bolder when it comes to flirting, which makes Nadia react in the cutest way possible. First, she stares at you for a second, gears turning in her head, but no words come out for a moment, and then she replies with something even bolder. What happens after that? You two keep flirting until one of you dies from blushing too hard.

Late-night talks with you two are to die for. Nadia is normally more reserved, but once you retire to her bedroom and start talking about anything and everything? That's like the best thing ever. And Nadia also loves listening to you talk. She admires you with so much love in her eyes whenever you open your mouth.

And the jokes. Oh my gayness, the jokes! Somehow, you find a way to make Nadia laugh all the time. You find out very early that the Countess snorts.

Imagine a meeting in the palace. The Court being the Court, they bring up an issue that makes no sense, and they have a whole argument about it. Nadia sits there, mentally facepalming herself, when you lean close and whisper something into her ear. The Countess ends up running out of the meeting room because of how hard she is laughing. That happens at least once a week.

You have never had any issues with socializing, so you have a lot of friends (or at least more than Nadia does). Nadia, however, spent most of her life alone, and when you introduced her to your friends, she felt very excited but also nervous. When everyone went home, Nadia almost cried in happiness because of how much fun she had with your friend group.

Every single time someone new shows up at the palace to meet the Countess, you yeet yourself to them because you just can't wait to meet them no matter who they are. By the time the person gets to meet Nadia, you have become besties with them, and they also invite you to the next family gathering to meet their sixty-nine relatives. Needless to say, Nadia is impressed.

Nadia admires that you can get along with anyone. And also that you fear no one, but it scares Nadi a bit sometimes.

She loves that you're not intimidated by her, tho. Most people are, so it's very refreshing for her.

There are a few cases when you are being a little too bold. For example, with a person who vastly outranks you and isn't very interested in a friendly chat. Nadia stands behind you, and puts her hands on your shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. "Y/N, my darling, how about you let me handle this one?" And everything about Nadia is just so comforting that you are immediately like, "Yes, my love, anything you want."

You might get in trouble sometimes, but Nadia always saves your ass.

Speaking of your ass. You're getting spanked as punishment whenever you're being too bold. You might be doing it on purpose, and I can't blame you.

You are flirting with each other all the damn time, which leads to either one of these outcomes: 1. You have quickies whenever and wherever you can, even if it means hiding somewhere in public. As long as Nadia doesn't make you moan too loud, it's all good. 2. You tease each other all day, and then as soon as you retire to Nadia's bedroom, your clothes are suddenly gone, and you two have passionate sex until you're both completely exhausted.

Nadia is a dom, and even an extroverted partner can't change that. However, your boldness is appreciated. Whisper something lewd into Nadia's ear, and you're going to find yourself tied to her bed in no time. The way you frustrate her with your words and inappropriate touching drives her wild.

And fuck. The dirty talk. It's unholy, it's hot as fuck, and you're both loving it. You make her even more vocal than she already is.

Nadia honestly finds it adorable if you're a very submissive person despite how bold you tend to be. She teases you about it, and it makes you squirm and whimper whenever she mentions it during sex.

[machathecat]

OK NO ONE CARES ABOUT THIS BUT IM FINALLY GOING TO RAMBLE ABOUT MY OCS SUJSJQJQBA

Warning this is going to be chaotic as fuck

First the characters themselves

((all lineart made with this picrew, I only colored it. Also ofc they got clothes in canon but I'm too lazy to edit it so y'all r gonna have to wait till I finally get the fucking energy to draw them))

Here's Moia! He/they, 15 at the start of the story, transmasc n asexual. He's pretty far from having a good life, they're father is an asshole, they got no friends at school, his life is shit and he's very probably depressed. Only thing really keeping him going is their best friend Eden (he/she/it, white bunny with a bunch of brown splotches) one day he was walking to school and got hit with a car n got send to a liminal space world (call me cringe if you want idgaf) called the Ethereal Plane, he met a friend there and he's living a life 100x better than on earth. They miss their best friend tho

And speaking of his new friend here's Richard! 40/45 year old, he's been stuck in the Ethereal Plane since MAAANY YEARS and lost track of time, He/him, bisexual. (Also he's supposed to be way more chubby than in the pic but I didn't though of editing it at first rip) He got cool grandpa vibes n is basically a father figure to Moia. He knows a lot about the place and guide them through the weird lands n shit. They're a cool duo

So a bit more about the Ethereal Plane itself, it's literally just those aesthetic liminal spaces pictures

That basically

It doesn't really make sense how a place lead to another, you could open the emergency door of a market and find yourself in the middle of a never ending grassland. Sometimes you walk in a open space, zone out and when you go back to reality your in a completely different place (note that if someone fully conscious of their environment is watching you, you can't get teleported while daydreaming n shit)

A very phew creatures live there, some species from earth managed to noclip to this world a few years ago and have evolved to survive in some parts of it. For example, you can find two headed bunny pretty much everywhere. Some creature are dangerous, but they live in very specific part of the Ethereal Plane , generally in packs.

This world had a permanent feeling of peace, it's hard to describe but you know that emotion when you see a liminal space pic that hit you hard and you just feel calm for a second like if nothing else mattered? That's this feeling but constantly. It's pretty pleading actually

I don't really wanna spoil much about the plot, y'all just gonna have to wait till I post a drawing here and there until you can fullfil every pieces of the puzzle in 2/3 years ig lmao. Just know if it was a tv show, the first ep would show how crappy Moia life is, the second the first day he spend in the Plane, rest of the first season just him n Richard having cool adventures there without much plot just 95 showing characters personality and shit. It would have a season 2 that I think would be the last but I'm not done thinking about every details yet for that sooo y'all gonna have to wait and see

ALSO SORRY FOR PUTTING THIS AT THE END LMFAO BUT the name of whatever this is is "a cat who got lost in the backrooms" (technically a reference to a childhood book but I doubt anyone will get it rip)

Ok now have fun hearing me only talking about those random guys I made in my head for either the next few hours or next few months idfk byeee

[zootopiathingz]

I watched Zootopia like 6 months ago on a whim, and now the fixation is still hyper...ing.

Yeah

Anyways, Judy and Nick are the best and deserve everything (I genuinely couldn't remember anyone else's names the first time I saw it) aaaaand yeah it's sad that the Fandom is basically nonexistent.

Actually, it's still going strong(?) on AO3 (i've made a few one-shots (shameless self promotion I'm Not_Quite_A_Moron there)) but still, kinda sucks.

Anyways, random headcanon time:

Nick has two moms (he doesn't have specific names for both of them, he just yells "MOM!" anytime he needs help)

Judy actually really likes eating meat, Nick just has to convince her to try it

Nick became really closed off and touch starved after the Junior Ranger Scouts incident, so now, he's a chronic cuddler (especially with Judy (which she loves))

Judy's on the autistic spectrum (she often stims by tapping her foot, and she likes to display affection via playful punches to the arm)

Judy was born on the same day that Nick got muzzled, as if the universe itself felt bad and said "here, have a rabbit" (definitely didn't steal this one from Tumblr nope certainly not)

Nick doesn't really like Gazelle's music, he's more of a rock kind of guy, but he'll stomach any song for Judy’s sake

Judy's asexual (Take one look at the nudist club scene and tell me she isn't at least demi)

Bestie I’d just like to say AAAAAAAAAA

Sorry, but I just got SO excited when I saw someone submitting headcanons! It’s been way too long since I’ve been able to have a good ol’ Zootopia discussion. Oh and I’ll certainly check out your fics! My user is Pixarpnflover so be on the look out for some kudos!✨

Anyway, I love the idea of Nick being raised by two moms! There was supposed to be a plotline about his dad—John Wilde, I believe was his name—but got scrapped along with a lot of other content. So until it’s actually mentioned in canon I’m choosing to believe his mom in the flashback was in fact a raging lesbian lmao🤷‍♀️ also would that make him a double mama’s boy?🤔

Ooo an herbivore converting to a meat diet? How intriguing! I like to think now that she lives in the city that Judy would be open to trying new foods, which would include poultry and fish. I can see her favoring sushi or even turkey.

Nick being openly affectionate after meeting Judy, and reserving most of that said affection for her? Hell yeah. He’s very unapologetic about it too. He’s waited far too long to share that amount of vulnerability and comfort with someone. No way he’s ever going to hold back🫂

Autistic Judy my beloved🙌🏻 You cannot convince me she’s even a little bit neurotypical, I will not believe you lol. I love that her natural rabbit behavior could actually be interpreted as stimming!

Dude, I have believed this headcanon for so long!! The second I found out their age difference, I just knew there had to be some kind of coincidence going on there. I mean, Nick could’ve just said “when I was a kid” when beginning the story, but instead he specified his age (or an estimate, at least) and I think that a choice on the writers’ part. Anyway, I’m a big believer in fate/soulmates, so even just the idea of Judy being born, destined to cross paths with Nick someday to heal his childhood trauma and make his life better, just melts my heart❤️😭

Haha yeah, you can tell the concert at the credits that Nick was only there for Judy😆 Not to say he wasn’t enjoying himself, he just wasn’t nearly as enthusiastic as everyone else. But ya know, the things ya do for your girlfriend!😋 I can also imagine Judy listening to music she doesn’t necessarily enjoy either. A certain loud rock song starts playing on the radio and before she can even think about changing the station, Nick goes “oh I like this one!” And so she smiles and suffers through it. She may even end up liking it anyway!😌

As for this last one, I kinda have to disagree. Not to say she isn’t ace or demi, and no hate to anyone who shares this opinion! But idk, to me I don’t think someone not wanting to see a bunch of people walking around ass-naked makes them ace or a prude (which I’ve seen some fanfics try to claim her to be?) I mean, I’m horny asf and I’d be just as uncomfortable walking around a nudist club😆😅

…I never thought I’d type a sentence like that lol

Anyway, thanks for sharing these! I sure hope the fandom comes back someday, but in the meantime I’ll be here waiting and open to exchanging more headcanons! :3

[diodellet]

*slides in*

How about 3, 16, 17 and 29 for the fic writer asks?

omg i didnt think id ramble this much (thank u for enabling me ner 🤧💕💕)

3. how you feel about your current WIP

tbh i'm not super confident about my writing any time i come out from from a long long hiatus of not posting anything. also like… i'm not super confident writing other charas aside from jamil since i don't really think ab them as much… (sorry leona-natics* whenever this drabble gets posted, but like fingers crossed the sitch will hopefully be exciting enough)

*i think it might have to do with the fact that i kinda hc leona on the grayspec++have more vv specific hc characterizations i like of him, but ig i do see his appeal (one of m'oomfs is a leona-natic and well ahu her propaganda might've been subconsciously assimilated)

but ahaha i tend to write things that i'm very personally interested in so i'll find a way to have fun with it, i'll be gucci i just get too into my head, it's a vicious cycle as a writer.

16. favorite place to write

uhhh im a very sedentary person, probably a result from the pandemic, and being a thorough homebody even after that

hmm i would say id like a nice ambient public place with coffeeeee my blood my life force Some amount of people engrossed in their own work, but like in the ph, esp in a place populated by a lot of uni students, cafes end up being hella cold (im skin and bones the cold is Evil)++noisy (which i don't see as a big bad thing esp since i like socializing with my friends...at the cost of putting off my own writing oops HAHAHA)

17. talk about your writing and editing process

oh boy. here we go. one thing to note throughout all this: my only consistent practice as a writer is inconsistency. (and ig, if i try hard enough, i can usually put out a passable 200-300 words in one sitting)

sometimes i can outline a fic and take forever chipping away at it

^^(case in point: that sebek x vampire!reader x silver fic... i joked abt waiting until book 7 would drop on EN but it has been Stuck. i wanna write bi-disaster sebek so bad though 🤧🤧)

other times my actual writing veers waaaaay into a diff plotpoint instead of what i have plotted out

^^(there're these 2 now-removed bullet points in wcidfy's outline for ch 3 that went: "do i have the balls to write a fever scene… gaguhan anhirap nito pag walang ob [tl: fuck this is hard (to write) without overblots]" and "i also keep thinking of a scene in the (scarabia) gardens…and lying about bees…weird")

and sometimes i can just shit out 1k-ish words unprompted.

^^though this last example leads to my most rough writing++editing ('ily but leave me tf alone' and 'no id rather pretend'), i only look over for immediate errors, but keep iffy-phrasings and repeated words, but sometimes i still miss incomplete sentences that i jus quickly fix after posting ahahaha.

in terms of my more "polished" writing, i edit as i write (<- i do Not recommend this style. it's very unsustainable if ur planning to do more conventional writing/publishing and it's very easy to get trapped in your writer's block)

and after finishing 80% of it, i try to get a second pair of eyes on it (thanks @jessamine-rose mwaps) because validation of works in progress feels good it also helps to have a trusted outside person look at the work with fresher eyes. also smtimes we get into bouncing ideas back nd forth that we spawn new brainrot lmao like this👇

i like to call my writing a "semi-polished first draft" partly out of self-defense and self-criticism. but really, i think i'd rather have "good enough" writing posted than "my best" because i could spend forever hoarding my wips. i think i'll always have regrets over not fleshing out certain beats/using certain phrasings and references, but i also enjoy looking back on my writing and seeing the incremental, microscopic progress. it makes the process more enjoyable than self-flagellating.

on a personal note, the writing workshop scene can be brutal. with some criticism being needlessly harsh, sure it produced some of my "best" writing but the process was Not Fun. while i get that being able to revise meaningfully is an important thing, i think the endgoal of feedback (from my short exp of betaing for friends) shud always be aimed towards uplifting the writer's aim to create/improving the writer's vision of what they wanna achieve, especially in a craft that is as solitary as writing. wait ill rb a post about making ur shitty pots, very in-line with making art in general

29. how easy is it for you to come up with titles?

very hard. i hate thinking of titles, thats why i yoink lines from songs (who cares if the vibe doesnt fit im adding layers of interpretation or sumn🥴🥴). ACTUALLY wcidfy had like 3 other possible names (it was either *rolls out list* hairtie, nonequivalent exchange, or ben franklin effect* wcidfy was the most bearable one.) *i tried to look up how to distill the psychological phenomenon of someone probably liking u more after u do a small favor for them into 2-3 words, but it had to be a WHITE MAN'S NAME 🤢🤢NAW!!!!

for few other examples:

'say what you mean' was initially titled 'oh how the tables turn'

'roommates? more like roomfoes' was first titled 'pet peeves'

'hypothermia' was first titled 'frigid' but then i thought of paradoxical undressing nd stuff and da pseudo-warmth

i've also moved a bunch of other plot beats from wcidfy's main document into a file called "part 45678 of wcidfy"

as u can see i prioritize making myself laugh wid my wip titles. i wanna put the illusion that my writing's not that serious. unless it is? idk i'm not sure how to describe my writing in terms of its vibes.

(list of fic writer asks, ahaha bug me ab my wips)

[zeawesomebirdie]

say it like you mean it, do you trust me now? (Gunsmoke) (bingo) (early drafting) 👀 could we hear a summary?

[WIP Tag Game]

Thanks for the second ask Astro sdjhgds I'm very honoured !!!!

This is the fic I've been vaugeblogging about for the last week or so!! It has utterly possessed me, I haven't written so much in ages

General content warning for violence, mostly genre typical violence for Westerns but also major character near-death :)

This is for the Bad Things Happen Bingo prompt "Taking the Bullet." I was inspired by the Gunsmoke episode Never Pester Chester, specifically the radio version which can be found on the Internet Archive here, it's number 7 (and I'm sorry I can't seem to figure out how to link the specific episode so hopefully this is adequate??) in which Chester gets dragged out of town by a pair of cowboys and gets so badly injured that Doc isn't even sure he'll make it. The moment Matt finds out about it, he goes absolutely feral about getting Chester back to safety, and then he goes out after the two cowboys and leaves his guns behind. At the end of the episode, he tells Chester that there isn't another man he could trust more, and tbch the whole episode has various characters trying to reassure him about Chester and it's actually really an incredibly queer episode if one happens to ship Matt/Chester but anyway lmao the plot of this fic!!!

It's Chester's birthday, and Matt got him a super nice fancy watch chain and he's made sure to get all of his work done early and he even wakes up a little early so that he can make sure to give Chester the best birthday ever. He's even got the hopes of finally confessing to be in love with Chester, since Kitty's been getting after him about that for ages now, but first things first: giving Chester the watch chain

Unfortunately (affectionate) this is a Western during trailing season, and when some cowboy or another shoots off his guns in the street, Matt has to run out of the jail and stop him. Turns out, there's a new trail boss in town, just came in and everything after their herd had been rustled a few days out of Dodge. Even though Matt tries to give Chester the day off (it's his birthday after all), Chester insists on going with him to meet the trail boss, which sets them out on what seems to be a wild goose chase

One thing leads to another, and the man accused of cattle rustling (one Timothy Anderson) turns out to be the former partner of the accuser (one Vinnie Munson), and he didn't rustle that herd, he bought them to cover Munson's ass after hearing that Munson couldn't afford to pay off his cowboys. This all comes to a head when Matt and Chester bring Anderson down to the Texas Trail to face Munson, who's been drinking all day. When Matt's back is turned, Munson reaches for his gun, and by the time he's firing Matt's been pushed out of the way by Chester, who gets the bullet in the ribs instead

Munson flees, but Matt doesn't follow after him. He waits with Chester until Doc gets there, which seems like an eternity later. Then, once they're all in Doc's office and the bullet has been removed, Matt finally confesses to being in love with Chester, only for Chester to pass out again. So Matt does the only thing he can think of doing: he takes off his star and tells Kitty and Doc he's going out to kill Munson

I'm almost halfway through the zero draft at this point, and I have a fancy schmancy brand-new playlist and a moodboard for this fic now! The playlist can be found here on spotify, and it's all pop punk!!

And here's the moodboard!

[floralegia]

Writing Patterns Tag Game

@moosemonstrous tagged me in this fucking AGES ago and I keep meaning to go back and do it and forgetting so sorry it took so long but here it is!!!!!

Rules: list the first lines(s) of your last 10 fics and see if there's a pattern.

A Well-Honed Blade

At first brush, Loki knows two things about the man before him.

Pots, Kettles, & Pete Wentz

Pete's sort of expecting it to be, like, the instant they get off stage, but they make it all the way back to the green room before Patrick crosses his arms and pins him with a Look.

towards your body (i can hear this beat)

The thing is, the air's always so thick with sweat and scent at shows that Pete doesn't even realize anything is happening until it's pretty much too late.

Scar-Crossed

The door opens suddenly, without being preceded by an announcement, which means one of two things: either Patrick is about to be assassinated, or he knows exactly who will be waiting for him when he turns around to look.

Bloodsport

The thing about fucking someone like Peter Goddamn Hale is that getting under his skin becomes an obsession.

Stupid Cupid

February 14, 1987 dawns crisp, clear, and downright forbiddingly cold, but Eddie doesn't care.

Miniskirt Blues

Steve has half a second to realize he doesn't think he's ever seen Eddie in a skirt before, and then he's being kissed so thoroughly that thinking isn't really on the menu at all.

it's bloody and raw, but i swear it is sweet

Will wakes to two sensations, each scrabbling for his attention before he's even awake enough to have attention to give: cramps, and below them, something far sweeter.

just play your sweet talk game (and you'll feel all right)

If he'd had more than about six seconds to realize what was going on and come up with a plan, Sam might have landed on something a little more… well… planful.

Simmer

Ed usually doesn't mind being an omega that much.

Conclusion: Establish who the POV character is (the exception, Bloodsport, identifies Stiles as the POV in the second sentence, it just doesn't quite make it into the very first one). Usually also an establishing action of some kind, sometimes also setting if I can get it (or something to indicate what type of AU it is, if any, which I guess is setting-adjacent). I'm honestly kind of laughing at how consistent this is--maybe I should try to shake it up more, just for the sake of tying something new! On the other hand, if it works it works, so...

Side note, this made me realize I've published 10 fics already this year, which is crazy?! Also, you can really see when the FOB brainrot hit, lmao...

No pressure tags: @qorktrees @buildarocketboys @foliejpg anddd anyone else who wants to give it a go!!

[homenecromancer]

here's more about this X-Files/Maximum Ride crossover that is possessing me lately... if you want to see the bits that aren't boring "here's how i'm making this specific sausage" fic-writer chatter, scroll down a bit lmao

the formulaic nature of network television makes it really easy to just make up your own episode that follows the basic beats of a given series. only problem is choosing which extant episodes i want to rip off the hardest. and this is really only a "problem" because it's been a while since last time i rewatched some X-Files, so i'm refreshing my memory by skimming over summaries (then diving deeper into episodes that seem like a good fit)

another issue is aligning timelines, because this is a thing that's very important to me (until it isn't, lmao). Maximum Ride has a wobbly-at-best timeline, whereas X-Files is much more firmly rooted in the 1990s. so i've chosen to set this fic circa 1998, before the events of the first X-Files movie -- meaning, when it comes to pulling from that canon, that's my terminus ante quem. ok, easy. but i may have to move some Maximum Ride details backwards in time to fit the vibe i want. sorry, not all that sorry

so here's my extremely fucking messy, incomplete "outline":

Opening: Nowheresville, California. Two teenagers smoking weed at the local lovers' lane catch a glimpse of a huge bird in front of their car. Terrified, they floor it out of there, almost hitting said "bird". (This is, of course, young Max, who's found a way to sneak out of the School.) Scene reference: the weed-smoking kids in "Deep Throat".

Enter Mulder & Scully: Washington, D.C. A lightweight scene where Mulder brings Scully in to the latest case: the "Mojave Mothman". Possible mythology/cryptid references: thunderbirds, "pterodactyl" sightings. After Mulder gives the wingspan of the largest living bird, then the largest extinct bird, Scully wonders if people might be misreporting sightings of California condors. But no, people seem to be reporting something with brown feathers... and much longer legs. The two banter a little and depart. Scene reference: lots.

They Get There: Nowheresville (where we remain for the rest of the episode). The weed-smoking kids are not the first people to report seeing this "Mothman"; there have been multiple sightings over the past year. (Which is when Max discovered a hole in the fence / way to sneak out.) There were no sightings before then. Mulder and Scully interview some townsfolk, some of them new to the area (some of these people are School employees we might see later), and finally end up speaking to a real old-timer. This person supplies two leads, the first of which they miss at the time: first, a crotchety complaint about all those new people moving in; second, "I appreciate you young folks giving me your time, but you really want to go talk with [Local Crank], she loves this stuff", and collects all kinds of weird phenomena. Scully isn't happy -- she quips that Mulder and [Local Crank] will get along -- but they go.

after that I haven't worked things out in nearly as much detail, but here are some concepts/thoughts:

The Local Crank is another longtime resident, and is happy to have a receptive ear for her ideas about what's going on around town. Her first meeting with Mulder & Scully is pretty brief, and just serves to get her into the story.

Nowheresville is such a small town that, like, as Mulder & Scully return to their motel, they find someone from the School waiting to greet them, and offer them an opportunity to come visit the facility in the morning. Mulder asks this person if they've ever seen anything weird around town, and they say something snarky about "well, other than you, no".

The visit to the School is suspiciously boring. Mulder tries asking people they meet if they've seen or heard of anything odd, and gets repeatedly stonewalled. Meanwhile Scully notices that while everything seems to be above-board, it all looks more like a movie set than a serious, working facility. They're working, but it all looks a little pointless.

They return to town and split up or something, maybe Scully goes to work on her report. Mulder goes to visit the Local Crank, and this time asks if there's anything weird about [Legitimate Science, Inc.]. "Everything is weird about it," she says, and shows him a map of "Mothman" sightings... which mainly cluster near one edge of town, where the lovers' lane is, in the direction of the School. Mulder decides it's worth checking out.

Because it's kind of how an X-Files episode works, Mulder manages to "sneak up" on Max a little. Thinking she's an ordinary kid (and maybe reminded a little of his sister), he calls out to her and attempts to approach. Max immediately takes flight. Mulder wishes he had a camera, but hey, it's night anyway. But he does find a few feathers in the sand.

Anyway, at the end, Mulder and Scully are approached by agents from [The Man], who strongly caution them to stop investigating, because there isn't anything abnormal going on in Nowheresville, and there's no reason to waste their time chasing things seen by weed-smoking teens. At this point in the series, that's an obvious tell that there is something weird going on. They leave. Scully expresses disappointment.

Stinger: Mulder shows the feathers to his friends, the Lone Gunmen, who pass them on to their [Weird Friends] for identification. Totally inconclusive, no one's ever seen anything like it. Maybe they manage to get a DNA analysis run (by knowing a guy who knows a guy), and it comes back as "Are you guys pranking me? Part of this is human, part of it I can't tell. What the hell did you send me a sample of?"

we have fun here

[elizmanderson]

2023 wrap-up, part 1

click here for part 2 | click here for part 3 | click here for part 4

it's that time of year again! i.e. the time of year when everyone sets goals, but I've never been a terribly goals-oriented person and I'm very bad at setting goals. also I'm in an industry where so much relies on luck that many of the "goals" I could set are actually a bad idea because they're largely outside of my control.

so! I like to look back at my past year instead. it scratches the fomo itch and also pushes back against the ADHD tendency to only remember the bad stuff.

so here's my look back at 2023.

writing

book stuff

my debut released this year! the remarkable retirement of edna fisher has been out since april and is now available in large print, as well as in the original paperback and hardcover, with an audio book on the way.

link to StoryGraph listing

link to large print

link to paperback

link to hardcover

edna was also on goodreads's list of the biggest new fantasy and sci-fi books for spring back in march, which I got so excited about that I had a panic attack, bc apparently my body can't differentiate between that much excitement and panic lmao. ??/10, very odd experience

link to this list

(screenshot cropped to get to edna faster, if you click the link and scroll she's further down)

I also got an agent this year, and we sold two more books! during last year's wrap-up, the book now known as the keeper of lonely spirits had been revised as part of author mentor match, round 9, and I was crossing my fingers and toes that it wouldn't take another two years of querying for me to find an agent with it. and it did not ♥

link to last year's wrap-up, part 1

the second book is tbd bc keeper is a standalone, but keep an eye out for the keeper of lonely spirits in 2025

short story stuff

I had two short stories published this year! still waiting on that one that was accepted in 2021 lol and I'm starting to wonder if the anthology will ever be published, but maybe in 2024?

anyway, until then you can read about a lesbian ex-sea captain, the boy who simps for her, and the sea goddess she never got over, or you can read about a disaster twentysomething dealing with the aftermath of a friends-breakup.

(that second story is contemporary, not fantasy, but it's free online!)

link to lesbian ex-sea captain story

link to disaster twentysomething story

in-progress stuff

pleased to announce that after angsting about my inability to finish anything new in 2022, I fast-drafted a murder mystery this july!

...we won't talk about how revising is going

anyway she's called nettiewip and she's a grumpy old lesbian lightkeeper who gets dragged into a murder mystery. sorry, nettie.

okay, that's it for part 1! part 2 to come.

[just-a-carrot]

Hi! I never use tumblr, but I wanted to get on my mostly untouched account and ask you something!

First off though, I want to say that I absolutely ADORE Our Wonderland and Our Fantastic Wonderland. I’m not a horror person, so I saw the game on itch.io for a long time before I was brave enough to try it, thinking it would just be a horror movie plot in the form of a visual novel. But I was so, so wrong, and so pleasantly surprised. I love all of it: the characters are so vibrant and feel so alive (except for when you know, they’re no longer with us and then R.I.P.), the way you don’t pull punches with the heavy topics you cover, the fact that you never know which choice will lead to a death but that you also are merciful and send us back to the last choice rather than giving us a game over (seriously, thank you for that), oh my gosh I could go on and on. The art style grew on me too and now I love it, plus I think it fits the game perfectly; I really like how you draw everyone so expressively.

I’m super excited for the final part to be released, but don’t push yourself too hard; we’re all happy to patiently wait. Being a solo dev is crazy difficult, and the high quality product you’ve released so far is simply fantastic. Plus you added a gallery, not one but TWO new modes (censored and streaming which must have been so much work), and other cool things WHILE ALSO creating the first half of Act 5??? Like how do you get so much done?

Anyways, I’m rambling, so I’ll get back on track. I saw in one of your answers to an ask (about if you’re okay with NSFW art of Our Wonderland) that you said you’re okay with people writing (among other things) about OW so long as they’re not using it in a hateful or bigoted way (I don’t remember the exact phrase you used, but I think that’s the gist of it).

So I wanted to ask, like are fanfictions okay? I have no intention to use them in a way that is demeaning to others, or hateful, or anything unkind. I just want to make some OW fan content to sustain me until the second half of Arc 5 is released, and hopefully share my love of OW and the characters with anyone who decides to read the fanfic(s).

I would definitely give you all the credit for Our Wonderland's characters, storyline, etc. While I'm usually a quiet person on the internet, I want to send anyone who may read the fanfics to the actual visual novels you've made. I would like to clarify that I don't really have an audience as I haven't posted my writing on any websites in a hot minute, but this story has absolutely entranced me. And I want to have more people to nerd out about this story with, so if i can get some more people on board the OW train, I'd be thrilled.

If you say no, I will respect your wishes as the creator and will not write or post any fanfiction!

If you are okay with it though, I’d be thrilled to share the title and website, etc I end up posting the fanfics on so you can read them if you so desire. Regardless of your decision, I will be thrilled to replay Our Wonderland and Our Fantastic Wonderland many times and I’m super stoked for the arrival of part two of Act 5!

(Sorry it's such a long message >.<)

Oh, my gosh, this is such a long (and lovely) message lakdjafld thank you so much for sending in a question! AND THANK YOU SO MUCH??? FOR THE WONDERFUL WORDS??? You're going to make me cry over here!! 🥺💦 I'm glad you decided to try it out despite your hesitations. I definitely know horror in general isn't for everyone LOL And this game definitely gets very intense at times in terms of horrificness LOL So that just makes me even happier that you still ended up enjoying it and the story ahhhhh,,,💦

"Like how do you get so much done?" -> LMAO HONESTLY I DON'T EVEN KNOW I didn't even decide to add all the new features and stuff until the last three or so weeks before the launch which,,, probably was not the best decision as the CG gallery especially ended up taking me hours and hours LOL However, I'm really glad to have gotten it done!! And I hope the new features will be helpful to people!

"So I wanted to ask, like are fanfictions okay?" -> Yeah, that's completely fine!! I am really fine with anything people want to create, just so long as exactly like you quoted above, that it's not for anything offensive or hateful/bigoted. (A-also not that I think anyone wouldn't do this, but I hope that people would honor the chars' sexualities/orientations lkadjfad 💦) I also ask that people don't tag me with anything NSFW as it makes me a bit uncomfortable and I don't want to interact with it (I don't mind people creating stuff like that so long as they're 18+, I just don't wanna interact with it personally dlakfjsdl) 😵‍💫💦 But just normal SFW stuff I have no problem with at all, whether it's writing/fics or art!! I think it's wonderful and lovely that you feel so inspired from my story that you would want to write something yourself! 🥺💕

Thank you so much again for your message! This was really sweet and brightened my day! 🥰

[little-klng]

Wait wait wait tell us abt the Walmart piercer please!! That sounds horrible!

WHEEZE so like, graphic description+picture of scarring from a botched piercing below the cut,, but,,

I have 8 total ear piercings (I do intend on getting more) but currently only have 4 in one ear and 2 in the other, and the two most recent holes on my left ear are closed up and scarred over. I've always gotten them done at Walmart (because all of them were from childhood where I didn't get a choice of piercer), and for the last set of earrings I got (the ones that are closed now) I was 18 and tried very very hard to convince my mom to let me get them done by a real piercer and not a piercing gun. I tried to explain that they're dangerous and result in infections really often because the people using them often aren't trained very well and they're rarely actually sanitized. I didn't have control over my own transportation at the time, so I didn't have a way to do it differently when my mom said "no it's fine, we've both always gotten them done by piercing guns and it's never gone bad" (not true, she has something like 12 piercings and has had to have several redone too)

So we end up going to Walmart to get it done, and red flag #1 they had to redo the pen mark like 4-5 times to line up the piercings evenly on both sides, red flag #2 the piercer didn't actually speak to me, she spoke to my mom and barely looked at me except to line up the gun, and red flag #3 she was also chatting to her coworker more than she was paying attention to what she was loading into the piercing gun (we had to stop her and course correct that they had to be *gold bars*, not silver, because I'm allergic to metals that aren't gold and it'll need to come straight out and a new one will need to be put in. We already picked the bars, she just had a few out and kept picking up the wrong ones because she wasn't paying attention. Bonus red flag, she didn't sanitize the piercings or the gun, and when I pointed it out, she basically ignored me and told my mom instead that "we sanitize it afterwards anyway, so it doesn't matter" (basically hoping+assuming the person before her had done a good enough job, however long ago that was)

First pierce went "okay" (it was a little crooked but didn't hurt much, it was only later when I needed to change the bars for hoops that I realized how crooked, because it still lies weird in my ear and pointed towards my face instead of straight ahead) but the second one was 1. No warning 2. Extremely painful and made me flinch with the gun still in my ear because 3. She had fully turned her head away from me to talk to a passing customer she knew and was excited to see right before she pulled the trigger. The result was a hole that was in the wrong place entirely (too far down, close to another piercing below it), very bleedy/weepy, and a weirdly "corkscrewed" hole? When I had to change the bar to a hoop, it took 45 minutes and a LOT of tears to twist it around inside until it finally came out the other side. For the year that I insisted on keeping it in (because I couldn't redo it) (personal reasons yknow how it is) I suffered constant reinfections, internal pus spots inside of my ear, ear infections in general, migraines, generally getting sick more often, infection of the already-established piercing below it, and eventual rejection of both the original and lower piercing that meant I had to remove and close both holes and just bank on being able to repierce as an adult (I was 18 when it was pierced, 19 when this happened, and I'm turning 23 this year and it's still not redone lol)

Here's how it looks now, sorry about the blurry photo, my phone won't focus properly in front cam mode

You can see just how long I let them both reject for before I gave up lmao (scars are the puffy lighter parts above the two hoops, for those unfamiliar)

And here's the other side, so you can see just how crooked that piercing really is. No, I'm not holding my ear weird, it just sits like that and bothers me when I wear headphones. I considered letting this hole close too and just getting it redone, but I wanted to talk to a real piercer first and get their opinion on if it can be fixed first since I've never actually spoken to one or know the limitations of piercing over existing scars

Anyway yeah don't do piercing guns, kids, and don't make your kids do piercing guns either if they ask you for a real piercer appointment :|