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#bat fam
violetbumblebea · 2 years
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Damian, preparing to stab one of his siblings: >:)
Bruce, not even looking up from his newspaper: *Grabs a near by water spritzer and sprays* No, Damian
Damian: *angry and betrayed cat noises*
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weirdplutoprince · 3 years
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thats his little boy
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forgetful-nerd · 2 years
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This is 100% an exchange that happened with Bruce Wayne.
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arrythmicdisaster · 2 years
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Damian: drake. out of all the common people you could’ve dated-
Tim: did you just refer to civilians as common people..?
Damian: why would you date the foolish conspiracy theorist? your taste in men is utterly disgusting.
Tim: what? c’mon, it’s sorta funny to watch. plus no one takes what he says seriously.
Damian: he is quite literally giving a presentation to our family about how philanthropist and entrepreneur Bruce Wayne is Batman all because their buttocks match perfectly.
Tim: BERNARD NO-
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cloud-hymn · 2 years
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Bernard finds out that Tim is Red Robin because he tries to get him to play a game of fuck marry kill using Batman Nightwing and Orphan and Tim is so disgusted that he immediately tells him the truth to avoid answering.
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niflhame · 2 years
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Damian: Drake you are the worst in every way imaginable. If you were to disappear tomorrow I wouldn’t notice unless it was because I realized I was free from the pain of witnessing your mediocrity.
Tim: *doesn’t show up to patrol 1 night*
Damian: *definitely not at all emotional* Stephanie, where the hell is Drake?
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Jason: Do any of you guys know someone named Norm? I wanna know a norm.
Damian: No.
Tim: Nah.
Jason: I wanna meet a norm.
Tim: Wait - did you say Jamal?
Jason: WHAT?
Damian: How did you hear Jamal from Norm?
Tim: I don’t know!
Dick: When I was a kid my aunt dated a guy named Norm for awhile. I remember distinctly because I got in trouble from my mom because I said that he looked like the ring leader of a carnival.
Jason:
Dick: She said I can’t tell anyone, but that it was very funny.
Jason:
Tim:
Damian:
Dick: Huh. I didn’t realize I had repressed that memory.
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gothellewoods · 3 years
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I realized I haven’t posted any of my art here yet, so here’s this ballerina cass drawing I finished today!!
I’ll probably do a background later idk
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A classmate Damian has a project with: I think I just heard a scream from your basement, dude.
Damian, an intellectual (has no idea what excuse he’s meant to use in these situations): We don’t have a basement.
Classmate: Then where did that come from?
Damian: ✨💡✨Haven’t you seen any news articles about the manor? The house is haunted, it’s common knowledge. *Thinks he’s lying, but it actually is believed to be haunted*
Damian finds out later that this is a rumour that has been spread on impulse by every member of the Batfam™️ upon having to explain something weird about the manor to an outsider. This tradition was started by Bruce when he was a child and use to steal food off peoples plates at Wayne Manor hosted parties when they weren’t paying attention then playing dumb and acting like his stuff keeps disappearing and ending up in weird places that a kid shouldn’t be able to get to, as well as crying loudly when no one is looking and saying shit like, “They keep pushing me” even though there isn’t anyone anywhere near him.
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violetbumblebea · 2 years
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Bruce Wayne, sobbing on his knees while clutching his parents grave during a thunderstorm and screaming at the universe: Can I be happy?!?
The universe, throwing a brick with a sticky note on it at the back of his head: No <3
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queenofskunks · 3 years
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Jason: I once had a haircut I deeply regret.
Damian: Is it the one you have now?
Jason: No.
Damian:
Damian: It should be.
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weirdplutoprince · 3 years
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shouldn't have asked, timmy
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jaydickincorrect · 3 years
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Tim: At the end of the day, we are brothers.
Damian: If you take out the 'r' it becomes 'bother', which I think is much more fitting.
Jason:
Jason: Brothe
Dick: *smacks Jason*
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queerryan · 2 years
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What's the batfam doing?
My favorite tweets of this account (@/Batnanigans on Twitter)
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r-misa · 2 years
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From “The Nanny” 
Alfred is like Niles, the Best✨
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cloud-hymn · 2 years
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I recently came across the information that when jason died he was four foot six. four foot fucking six at the age of fifteen is insane, especially considering the fact that as a fully grown adult he’s like six foot two or something. so now I can’t stop thinking about how funny it would be if he had stayed relatively short and then became the red hood. like imagine being a big bad crime lord who puts the fear of god into people and then one day a little five foot two dweeb with a machine gun comes out of nowhere and absolutely rocks your shit. embarrassing.
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