#and them him yelling after her like that saying he’ll ‘live a happier life with cho-hee’

[hoonphobe]

mike’s character is one of the most interesting to me because does anyone really know how mike feels? and i don’t mean like his obvious feelings like when he’s annoyed or sad etc. but does anyone SEE him. id say the closest person to see him for who he really is is will, but even then there are parts he hides from will that only us as an audience can infer.

i feel like this is one of the reasons mike getting vecna’d instead of will would make a lot of sense. we have a decent idea on what goes on in will’s head and how his mind works. but mike? he’s been hiding who he really is for so long that he’s even fooled the general audience into thinking he’s someone he’s not. mike’s character is so fascinating because we rarely get to understand why he does what he does, who he is to himself. all we see is who he is to other characters and how those people shape him.

if mike gets vecna’d, it would show the audience a direct pov of the mike we never get to see. the raw mike that hides away from not only viewers but his own family and friends. it would be the perfect gateway to seeing how complicated mike really is.

i would like to think one of mike’s biggest inner conflicts is whether he’s a good person to the people he loves. ofc he cares deeply about his friends and family, but he’s made so many mistakes with them that i wonder if he contemplates if he deserves them.

here’s how i envision mike getting vecna’d going:

the scenes like the snowball and the roller rink seem like places where we’d see will being jealous of mike, but what if instead they were spots where mike felt a strain in his relationships with will and el.

at the snowball, mike encourages will to dance with a girl and after he waits in a slump for el or possibly for will to be done dancing with the girl. here maybe vecna mentions how he should feel guilty that he’s jealous of will even though he’s dating el. maybe he’s told that he can’t be a good boyfriend for her let alone a friend, that will is clearly happy with that girl and that he’s better off without mike.

then we go to the roller rink. we see el getting bullied then mike and will’s fight. vecna tells mike that he’s selfish and inconsiderate to both el and will. that he didn’t even make an effort to say happy birthday to will. maybe mike sees el and will skating together and says he’ll never be good enough for either of them, that he better off leaving them be because they’re clearly happier without him. that he’s treated both of them undeservingly and they deserve better.

we see the scene where mike cant tell el he loves her, we see the famous s3 byler fight in the rain, we see all the times mike has hurt the two people he cares about the most and he starts questioning…maybe he doesn’t deserve them…maybe vecna’s right that they’d be better off without him.

they try to use his favorite song to save him, which only will knows because everyone else hasn’t been aware, but mike’s too far gone. he’s already convinced himself that vecna’s right.

this is when the party splits up in the upside down and go through what mike’s been seeing from vecna. they finally get to see a part of mike they never do. will and el are the ones to find mike being tormented by vecna. they’re the ones that pull mike out of his trance by dragging him through the portal created by his favorite song.

they all come back and mike’s alive. they all start crying after seeing how hard it’s been for mike, this guy that boasts confidence. they hurt knowing mike was willing to give his life up so that his friends would be supposedly be happy. then there’s mike who’s yelling saying they should’ve let him go, that all he’s been is a negative presence in their lives. here starts mike’s monologue. he talks about how he can’t love el the way she wants him to but he still cares about her deeply, that he’s sorry for being such a horrible boyfriend and that she deserves someone better than him. he tells will how he’s hurt him so many times he doesn’t understand why he keeps coming back. that he loves will but he can’t always prove it in a way will deserves even if he wants to.

el reassures mike explaining that she understands. that mike doesn’t need to worry about her and that she knows how much he cares. she gets that people make mistakes and that she would never want to lose mike despite what they are to each other. she gives mike a loving hug, one to symbolize the end of their relationship but not the end of their friendship.

will is the one most emotional. he finally understands what mike has had to go through so many times, his best friend on the verge of death. jonathan suggests everyone gives them space and the two are left alone.

will hugs mike while saying all kinds of things “ur so stupid” “why would you give up ur life” “never do that again”. and mike is just there hugging back apologizing like hell because he still doesn’t feel worth will’s attention. will shuts him up and pulls out the drawing. it’s of the swingset from when they first met. will explains how he does remember this day, and that ever since that day he hasn’t regretted a single day in his life because mike was always there, that being with mike are the happiest moments of his life, that he knows that mike isn’t perfect and he understands he’s figuring himself out, that he knows he cares because each apology mike gives is engraved into his brain. will confesses what he’s been meaning to confess since that day in california.

mike still in disbelief argues saying there’s no possible way will could accept all the mistakes he’s made, and will fed up with mike’s stubbornness takes the chance and kisses him. they break away and will explains how mike is the only one he’s ever wanted to be with. and mike, hesitant at first, goes for another kiss. he tells will that he’s sorry he couldn’t realize it sooner but he’s always been the most important person in his life and he couldn’t ask for anyone else either.

mike pulls out the “for will” mixtape, and he explains he made it for his birthday, but he was too cowardly to give it to him. will grabs the mixtape and on the back is written “love, mike” and scene ends.

[maithefluffychicken]

Newest Steddie fic! Little bit of angst, little bit of miscommunication, lots of pining! And happy ending as always because of course.

Ao3

Steve isn’t dumb. He’s a bit oblivious and distracted and maybe all those concussions after years of fighting demogorgons and some other demoshit aren’t helping him at all.

But he’s not dumb, he can’t be blamed for getting used to the nice things after all, he simply doesn’t think some things too deeply. Why should he? He knows that he’ll put himself between the danger and the little nuggets, he knows that he’ll protect Robin and Nancy with his life if needed, and Eddie… Well. After having to carry Eddie’s limp body praying that the boy was still alive and watching him slowly recover in his guest room, after feeling that pressure in his chest, that fear of loss that yelled at him that it was too late… Steve knows he’d do anything to keep Eddie safe and sound, too.

So now that everything is fine again, with that fake sense of normality - because they all will never be normal again, whatever that means - around them and Hawkins no longer in threats of destruction, Steve just kind of let himself relax a little bit.

And now Steve is used to this little family he found; he’s used to listening to Robin constantly talk about everything and nothing, her voice soothing, and to Nancy chastising him for spoiling the kids with all that pizza he buys for them. He’s used now to have Jonathan and Argyle relaxing by his pool, too close to each other like they’re sharing secrets all the time.

He’s used to say yes to Dustin just to see his wide grin that made his eyes close, and that lead to him getting used to host them every week so they can play DnD in his living room, since Eddie is not longer the leader of the Hellfire Club since he graduated - fucking finally.

And Eddie.

Steve is too used to having Eddie by his side at all times now; after nursing him while the black suited up men cleaned Munson’s name and gave Eddie’s uncle a new house and a fat indemnization for the inconveniences. It was hard to let Eddie go, but then Eddie came back the next day with some excuse or another so they could hang out together, and Steve’s heart beated normally again, knowing that Eddie wasn’t leaving him.

Things are good now, in summer, Harrington’s house is full of life as it never was, and Steve is happy with this new reality for him.

He’s even happier every time it gets too late for Eddie to drive to his own house and they spend the night together, watching movies or smoking or just talking by the pool.

Steve doesn’t think he could be bored of watching Eddie laugh at his own bad jokes and antics, deep dimples appearing every time Eddie smiles at him, or of the way their hands brush together or how their bodies join together when they play roughhouse in the pool.

Steve is really happy, and that’s why he doesn’t think too much about it. He feels complete at last, optimistic even, because even if he has a shitty job and he knows Nancy and Robin will go to uni in a few weeks, Steve doesn’t feel like they’re leaving him behind. He’s planning on studying something too, not at uni but Eddie and him have been talking about their future, and Steve thinks that even if they both can’t leave Hawkins, they’ll be ok.

And the summer goes by like this, in this easy, friendly way that it’s so alien for Steve now but he’s grateful. That’s why when his cousin Jamie calls him to ask if he can spend some days in his house before coming back to Los Angeles, Steve accepts with a smile.

Jamie is a few years older than Steve, and he always has been his favourite member of his family, his role model - more or less. Jamie showed him how to make his hair and how to use the Harrington charm, and Steve learnt it so well, even if he doesn’t use it anymore. 

-

Steve’s cousin rings the bell just in time for the pool party, the kids are already playing in the water and Eddie is helping Steve in the kitchen - Steve taught him to cook some simple recipes after Eddie begged him to let him be useful, and now it’s a well practised dance, they cooking together -, and Steve rushes to open the door.

Jamie is taller than Steve, his blond, thin hair falls gracefully over his shoulders, and Steve is immediately pulled into a hug.

“Cousin!” Jamie exclaims. “Damn you’re all an adult now, I barely remember the last time I saw you! How have you been?”

Steve smiles easily, Jamie has always been this enthusiastic and, well, he has missed his favourite cousin all those years. But Steve can’t answer because then Eddie appears and asks him something kitchen-related that Steve doesn’t register because he’s too busy watching his cousin's hungry, wild reaction at Eddie’s appearance.

Eddie is wearing a sleeveless band t-shirt - Steve helped him to cut the sleeves and the collar so it wasn’t as oppressive as Eddie claimed it was -, and black and red swimming trunks to his knees. His long, dark curls are pushed up in a messy bun and his eyes are bright and his smile is easy as always.

Steve always thought that Eddie was handsome, beautiful even, and right now he’s just as beautiful in his simple outfit; it shouldn’t be a surprise that his cousin would think the same about Eddie, and yet…

“Oh, you must be Steve’s cousin, right? I’m Eddie, man, nice to meet you,” Eddie greets him while Steve is still watching red, unable to ignore how Jamie’s eyes had widened at seeing Eddie for the first time.

“The pleasure is all mine, Eddie,” Jamie says, his voice low and seductive, closing the distance between him and Eddie. “I’m Jamie and I’m upset my cousin never told me a word about you…”

Steve feels adrenaline rushing through his veins, and the urge to put himself between Eddie and Jamie, something wild and primal yelling at him that Jamie was, in a way, a danger threatening him to steal his Eddie.

Steve shakes his head not before realising that Eddie’s pupils are widening in response to Jamie’s charm, and fuck, Steve can feel bile in the back of his throat.

“Ehm… okay? Sorry, I just… Steve, I need your help in the kitchen,” Eddie says shyly, Steve can not see the blush in his cheeks, and he rushes to lead him back to the kitchen, his hand finding Eddie’s small back and placing it there.

Steve knows that he used that movement with girls, to let everyone know that said girl was his. He can’t completely understand why he needs to do this now with Eddie, but some voice in his hindbrain is yelling at him to show Jamie, to show everyone, that Eddie is his.

It’s absurd because Steve is not into guys, and surely he’s not into Eddie, he just… Steve just can’t stand the idea of Jamie being too close to Eddie, or something. He doesn’t want to think about it, so he does not.

-

Steve decides that he no longer admires his older cousin during the pool party, indeed, Steve hates him.

Jamie’s skin is tanned from Los Angeles sun and he’s immediately the centre of attention, telling to everyone who wants to listen to him - it seems that everyone wants to, even Max - incredible stories about his fabulous life and his work and all the celebrities he has met.

He’s some kind of manager or something, Steve doesn’t listen to him.

But of fucking course Dustin has to open his mouth.

“Then it’s great that you’re here, because Eddie is a future rock star!” 

“Shut up, Dustybun…” Eddie says shyly, his cheeks reddening again and avoiding Jamie’s eyes, or that’s what seems to Steve, who can’t look away from them both.

“Oh, no, no, you already have the looks, don’t you? With that long hair and those bright eyes…” Jamie’s voice is like honey, disgusting, and Steve wonders why he took his advices about how to flirt.

“And he plays guitar so fucking metal, dude!” Dustin adds, ignoring Steve’s turmoil and Eddie’s hesitation. 

“Like, he literally saved our lives with his sweetheart!”

“There’s a story behind it, I can feel it, but right now I simply need to see you in action, Eds.”

Eds. Steve is so close to stand and to out distance between them, but Eddie looks at him then, a questioning look in his chocolate eyes.

“I… I don’t think our host will enjoy a metal concert right now…” Eddie’s voice sounds unsure, and Steve has the sudden urge to say that he loves whatever Eddie wants to play, that he doesn’t hate metal anymore. 

He should have said it weeks ago, when Eddie found a spare guitar and brought it to his house, and Eddie started to play songs that he knows Steve loves. He never played any of his favourite songs, though, just Steve’s… Does Eddie truly believe that Steve would say no to him to play some metal? Fuck.

“Oh, come on man, Steve can stand a few songs, right Steve?” Mike says, already jumping into the conversation.

“Steve, please, let Eddie play for us!”

“Hey, guys, fuck, I don’t even have my guitar here, stop it…” Eddie tries in vain, because of course, Dustin, again.

“I know you have that other guitar here, Eddie, please!”

Eddie looks at Steve and… and Steve nods, because they both seem trapped then. 

“I’ll bring you the guitar, Eddie,” Steve says, and walks into his house.

The guitar is not as cool as Eddie’s, but it’s electric and Eddie said it was good, so, Steve believes him, because he has no idea about music. And when he grabs it by its neck, Steve realises… that he doesn’t want Eddie to play for Jamie.

Eddie plays for him and the kids and, well, for the group, and Steve is sure that Eddie could be a rock star someday, he’s good, he has passion… And as Jamie said, yeah, he has the looks. But it feels wrong, Eddie playing for Jamie now.

Eddie, who looked so hesitant when he never doubts when it’s about putting it on a show.

Steve wonders, maybe he should call for Eddie and talk to him, to ask him if he’s ok with this particular show.

“Hey dude, what’s taking you so long? We’re all waiting!” Dustin says behind him, making Steve jump. “And why is Eddie’s guitar in your room? Are you learning how to play?”

Steve doesn’t have an answer to that. Usually when Eddie hangs out, they share Steve’s bed, because it’s more comfortable than the couch, and the guest's room is basically Robin’s room now, so…

“Anyway, your cousin seems amazing, Steve, he really has a life, you know?” Dustin keeps talking and Steve starts to feel like he’s being suffocated by demobats again. “ He was telling Eddie that if he’s good, like, really good, he could help him to go to L.A. to be a star! That would be so metal, don’t you think?”

“Pff, Eddie is great, he doesn’t have to prove anything,” Steve retorts without thinking, his guts twisting at the implications of Eddie leaving with Jamie.

“Yes, Steve, we know that, but who has to know that is Jamie, so come on and bring that damn guitar!”

-

Steve watches in awe how Eddie plays song after song. He starts with Master of Puppets because Dustin wouldn’t shut up about how cool he was last time, so that’s how this little private gig starts.

Eddie sings, too, of course, because as Steve already knew, he is talented and has passion, and when he finishes with Metallica he sings something from Black Sabbath, and then Kiss, and then Ramones, and the kids are just prompting him songs and he chains them together without stopping. 

And when Steve takes his eyes off of Eddie, he looks at his cousin, and there it is again that hungry gaze, sharp eyes roaming over Eddie’s body, and Steve shivers.

He can’t deny it to him anymore, Steve recognises this feeling. Jealousy. Not a good look on him, but he doesn’t care, he can’t give a shit about it when his fists are clenching and he can feel his fingernails indenting his soft skin, knuckles white, because Jamie is staring at Eddie like he’s a wolf and Eddie is prey. 

Steve wants to punch his cousin, wants to kick him out of his house and, more than anything, wants to take Eddie in his arms and… Kiss him, or whatever Eddie would want from him.

But Eddie stops playing and he’s smiling and high in that way he gets after playing guitar for too long, and Jamie is the first who starts clapping his hands. The kids follow him and when Eddie looks at Steve, Steve is not clapping with them. He’s frozen in his spot, panicking because he has never had stopped to think how badly he wants to kiss Eddie, and now that he started, he can’t fucking stop thinking about it and what that means.

-

Eddie doesn’t stay to pass the night because Jamie is there, and it’s truly a shame because Steve could talk to him in the middle of the night, sharing the bad as it was now usual, and Steve could confess his confused feelings, and maybe Eddie could even want him back.

But of course, that’s not what happens.

What happens is that Jamie asks him if he would mind if he asks Eddie for a date.

“I…” Steve wants to say that of course he minds, that he wants Eddie and that he wants to have his chance. But, he doesn’t say that, because the way Eddie grinned last night when Jamie assured him he will be a rockstar, the way Eddie flushed and smirked back at Jamie after the little concert, left Steve thinking about his own future.

Steve has nothing, absolutely nothing to offer to Eddie. Steve barely has money, and someday his parents will be back and will kick him out with his hands empty. Also, Steve can’t be sure if Eddie would have him, if Eddie would see him as a proper partner. Let’s be honest, they would never be friends if it weren’t because of the Upside Down and Vecna.

Eddie would never date a jock. Or a former jock. Anyway, he would never date Steve.

“I don’t mind you dating guys,” Steve says, trying to keep his voice calm.

“Huh, I see.” Jamie takes a sip of his coffee. “So, you and Eddie… there’s nothing between you two?”

Steve sighs. “We’re only friends.”

And because he wants to be a good friend, Steve knows it’s better if he takes a step back, no matter how that will destroy Steve’s heart. Jamie can offer the world to Eddie, and that’s what matters.

“So, if I ask Eddie for a date, then…?”

“If Eddie wants to go out with you, I’m ok with that too,” it’s the only thing he can say.

If Eddie wants Jamie, then Steve would accept it. Because it’s shit that Steve just realised his feelings for Eddie when his cousin showed interest in the guy, isn’t that reason enough to know for sure that Eddie deserves better?

-

“Hey, Eddie, what’re you doing here?” Steve asks, ignoring the way his heart hammers in his chest at seeing him again.

Eddie hasn’t been around for the last two days, and when Steve phoned him his uncle said that he was busy. Steve felt like that was a great way to start to getting used to not having Eddie around anymore.

“Hey man, so… Well, you know, your cousin asked me for a date?” Eddie says and it sounds like a question. 

Steve makes a sound that he disguises with a cough.

“Yeah… I know, he told me that he would do it, he’s… You impressed him,” Steve says, hating every fucking word even if he keeps repeating to him that this is for the better, for Eddie to have the life he deserves.

Eddie looks at him with those eyes that melted chocolate and frowns, looking for something. What? Steve can’t know, but he tries to keep his face friendly, even if his blood is boiling.

“I… You don’t mind if I accept the offer?” Eddie asks, his voice hopeful, worrying his lower lip.

“If that’s what you want, Eddie, I want you to be happy,” Steve says and for the first time in the last few days, he’s being completely honest.

He wants Eddie to be happy, and nothing else matters.

—--------------------------------------------

Steve tries to sleep. Of course he can’t, because Eddie is out there with Jamie, doing God knows why.

Steve wonders what could have been if he were a bit faster, if he were brave enough to realise his feelings earlier, would Eddie accept to have a date with him?

That doesn’t matter now, but Steve wonders anyway. He would take Eddie to somewhere nice, somewhere that would make Eddie blush and smile shyly, as Eddie does usually when Steve does something that he finds charming, or that’s what Eddie says. 

Eddie said that he’s charming.

Steve thinks that maybe he is, indeed, a bit dumb. For a second he has the impression that Eddie has been flirting with him this whole time.

Don’t cha big boy?

If that’s true… Then Steve has pushed the boy he wants right into the arms of his cousin. 

Fuck. Steve screams into his pillow.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter, he says to himself, it doesn’t matter if Eddie wanted him before because Eddie has a bright future, and he can only reach that future with Jamie, not with Steve.

Steve knows too well that there’s nothing keeping Eddie in Hawkins, now that he graduated. The whole town is still calling him a murder, even his friends and bandmates from Hellfire Club and Corroded Coffin stopped talking to him after the whole Vecna thing. 

Of course, Eddie cares for the kids, but the kids are growing up, soon enough they all leave Hawkins, Dustin is already planning to go to the same uni as Suzie.

And his uncle? Steve knows Eddie too well to know that he’ll rescue his uncle when he can, not wanting him to rot in this god forsaken town.

Eddie has nothing here, not really, and once again Steve knows that even if his love is requited, Steve would only be a burden.

Steve can’t take that brilliant future from Eddie, even if his own heart is breaking.

The main door opens and closes silently and Steve grimaces, closing his eyes and trying to hear something - trying to hear if Eddie is with Jamie.

There’s a knock on his door, and he grunts. Jamie appears, wearing a wide grin in his lips.

“Steve, you awake?”

Steve grunts again. He doesn’t want to see him now.

“Ok, then. Steve, Stevie, cousin, Eddie is incredible,” Jamie says, excitedly. “That guy is going to be the greatest rock star of all time, cousin, I can tell you, he’s going to be l’enfant terrible of metal and that’s a lot to say, I can’t wait to bring him with me to L.A.”

Steve closes his eyes and wishes for a demogorgon to appear now, it would be less painful.

“And he’s so enthusiastic and passionate about everything, he didn’t talk much but…”

That’s weird, Eddie barely can keep his mouth closed, Steve thinks deliriously. Eddie is not quiet even when he’s scared or worried; Steve, who never wanted to overthink things, now can’t stop doing it, he needs to know why Eddie has been quiet during his date.

“But well, the date went amazingly good…”

“Did you kiss him?” Steve asks, immediately regretting the question.

Jamie smirks, feeling too smuggly for Steve’s liking.

“A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell, dear cousin, unless… Why do you want to know, Steve?” Jamie asks, knowingly. 

Steve doesn’t answer, he can’t. It doesn’t matter.

“Oh, Steve… Oh, my poor cousin.”

“Shut up, James.”

“I asked you if you were ok with me taking him out for a date,” Jamie says.

“I know.”

“Well, there’s nothing you can do about this now, Steve. I’m sorry.”

Jamie leaves Steve alone, and Steve knows he’s not sorry at all.

-

Jamie has to work or whatever, Steve doesn’t care anymore, he just knows that Eddie is again lounging with him, watching the sunset from Steve’s backyard. 

Eddie doesn’t tell him about Jamie or about the date they had, and Steve doesn’t ask, so they just smoke together, sharing a joint Eddie gets ready for them.

For a blissful moment, everything seems normal again, even if Steve knows his feelings for Eddie; the weed is helping him to calm his nerves about being alone with Eddie, he feels lax and more or less… not happy, but he's feeling better. Eddie’s presence is soothing, too.

“‘M gonna miss this,” Steve says.

“I can bring you weed tomorrow again if you want,” Eddie answers easily, as if their shoulders weren’t brushing.

“Not that, I mean…” Steve sighs, feeling his head full of cotton. “Gonna miss you, man, ‘m happy for you but…”

“No need to be dramatic, sweetheart,” Eddie says, and Steve shivers at the pet name, as always.

“But you’re leaving…”

“Steve…”

Steve doesn’t know when or how, but he’s now in front of Eddie, craddling his pretty face in his hands, his hair is soft in his fingertips, and his lips seem so plush, and so tantalizing when Eddie darts his tongue out. Steve’s slow brain follows the movement and he wants… he wants Eddie so much, and he’s leaning into him…

“Steve? Eddie? Are you at home?” Jamie asks, closing the main door loudly after him. 

Eddie jumps then, putting distance between them, and Steve frowns. This.. this is wrong. Eddie looking at him scared and confused is wrong. Jamie smiling at Eddie and reaching for him is so fucking wrong. Steve sees with bitter satisfaction that Eddie doesn’t lean into Jamie’s touch, and for a moment, Steve thinks about telling something. 

But he doesn’t, because Jamie is telling Eddie that he has to go back to L.A. tomorrow, that he can’t stay the rest of the week as planned.

Eddie seems shocked by the news and Steve understands. Eddie doesn’t want Steve, he wants to leave him behind and he wants Jamie, that’s why he jumped and put distance between them when Steve was so close to kiss him.

Steve stands, stumbling, and Eddie, fuck, he reaches to balance him. Steve shakes him off.

“I’m going to sleep, and you two should go too, you have a plane to take tomorrow,” Steve snaps angrily, leaving them by the pool.

-

“Well, Eddie, are you coming with me?” Jamie asks, and Eddie is not sure if he’s asking him to go to bed together or if he’s referring to go to bed together or if he’s talking about L.A.; Eddie thought for a heartbeat that Steve was going to confess that he loves him, but then again, Steve was just high and probably horny, and Eddie is tired of this constant heartache.

Eddie is tired of his stupid, unrequited crush on Steve the King Harrington, he needs to get over it. And Jamie is… Fuck, Jamie is not Steve.

Eddie takes Jamie’s hand with a wavering smile, and lets himself be guided towards the guest room.

Steve never let sleep there, Steve always told him to share his own bed. Because they both have nightmares almost every night, and because they enjoyed talked until dawn, and because it was better than to sleep alone or whatever; Steve always offered his bed and Eddie always said yes, because he wanted to be as close as he could to Steve.

And then Jamie’s lips are on his. He was able to avoid the kiss after their date, but he’s too distracted now thinking about how he misses Steve already, so Jamie’s mouth is hot and demanding against his own, and his hands are finding a way under his t-shirt, fingertips tracing blindly his scars. Scars that match with Steve’s.

Eddie feels clammy and wrong. This is so wrong. He used to hook up with random guys, but he has been unable to do that after falling for Steve, and this? With Steve’s cousin? 

This is so fucked up, man, he says to himself. You’re running away again, you don’t even want to be a rockstar in L.A. Who are you trying to fool?

Eddie feels the signs of a panic attack rising. His hands and back are sweating and feeling cold, he can’t breathe, and he needs… He needs Jamie to let him go.

“Stop, stop, dude, come on! Let me go!” Eddie begs, and pushes Jamie off him.

“Eddie…”

“I can’t, ok? I’m not leaving Hawkins with you, I’m sorry, I just… I can’t…” Eddie is rambling, looking blindly for the knob of the door. He needs to go. 

“Ok, it’s ok, Eddie, I understand.”

“No, man, you can’t understand,” Eddie laughs weakly. 

“You want my cousin, it’s ok, I get it,” Jamie says, all calmed and smiling softly. “I just wanted to try my luck, sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”

Eddie shakes his head. “I just need to leave.”

-

A few hours passes and Steve is sober, and hungry, and so fucking sad. 

-

Eddie didn’t leave, it was already too late and he was too anxious to drive, so he grabs the fluffiest towel and wraps himself in it, choosing his usual sun lounge to sleep the night.

-

Steve needs a smoke, he needs to do something. He crosses his living room until he reaches the backyard, he finds Eddie there. His eyes are red and puffy, as if he has been crying.

Steve offers him a cigarette, not wanting to think about the fact that for Eddie is maybe his post coital cigarette.

Steve fucking hates his life more than ever.

They don’t talk. Eddie is sad, maybe because he’s leaving Hawkins too soon and he’ll miss Dustin and his uncle, Steve doesn’t really want to know.

Once Steve stabs the cigarette in the ashtray, he leaves Eddie alone in the backyard, wrapped in his favourite towel. Eddie is leaving him soon, too soon, but at least Eddie doesn’t tell him that everything, him included, is bullshit, so he takes it as a win.

-

The morning comes and Steve has been debating if confessing his feelings to Eddie is selfish or if he’s just giving him all the information so Eddie can choose.

He decides that it’s selfish, because why should Eddie have to suffer? So instead, he finds Jamie in the kitchen again, and Steve loses the little control he has.

“You,” Steve spits full of poison. “You come here and you decide to steal from me the ony person I want in the world, you come here and decide that you have to take it from me, because of fucking course!” Steve knows it’s not at all like that, that Eddie is making his choice and that he chooses Jamie, but fuck it. Steve is angry and desperate. “And you decide to take him to the opposite corner of the world, even if you knew that I love him because you knew it from the start, right? Maybe I was blind but you weren’t, and I know you asked…”

“Steve, listen.”

Steve grabs him by the collar of his shirt and pushes him against the wall.

“Steve? What are you doing?” A soft, rumbling voice asks behind him. Eddie, still wrapped in the same towel, as if he slept the night in the backyard…

Maybe he has.

“Steve, cousin, it’s ok, everything is fine, Eddie is yours, he made it clear last night,” Jamie says calmly as anything. “Let me go now, I have a plane to take.”

-

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

What the fuck, Jamie? Eddie thinks, feeling frantic. Why the fuck Jamie has to say that? Now Steve is going to kick him out for real.

-

Steve lets his hands fall, shocked by Jamie’s words.

Eddie is yours.

That can’t be true, that can’t be… Eddie was going to be a rockstar in L.A., he was going to be happy with Jamie…

“I need to go.”

He can't annoy Robin with this, he doesn't want to. Nor Nancy or even Jonathan, fuck. He can't remember his life before Eddie. It took it too much time to realise that he was orbiting around Eddie, not because he felt lonely or whatever, just because it was Eddie the one Steve wanted to talk to at all times, to tell him everything, even the little, most insignificant things. Yes, he does the same with Robin but it feels different with Eddie, less platonic and more like he wanted to share his life with Eddie.

And this is what he has now. Nothing. Because he was so happy with Eddie that he didn't even realise the fact that he was in love with him. Steve wants to laugh. He can remember a time or two when he thought that it seemed like they both were dating, just missing the sex. But then...

Eddie was always there flirting with him, stepping into his personal space, touching him and making his hairs stand on point and his heart hammering in his chest. Fuck. Fuck.

Steve doesn't remember a time when he didn't need sex, and yes he misses it but with Eddie he didn't feel that need, the need to *prove* something? To feel something?

FUCK IT.

Steve has been an idiot for too long, first at High School and now... now letting Eddie go without fighting.

With his knuckles white on the wheel he takes a narrow turn, the car drifting, and he drives back to his own house.

He feels similar like when they defeated Vecna and saw Dustin crying over Eddie's limp, lifeless body.

Thankfully Eddie's life is safe now, but the dread of losing him is just the same.

To know that he could had have him and he just let him go and find someone else, yeah, someone better, someone who could offer Eddie a better life

But Steve... Steve would leave Hawkins too, for Eddie. He would work hard to give him whatever he could want, to allow him to follow his dreams.

Yeah he can't offer him the quick, easy way the same Jamie can.

But Steve is not afraid to fight everything for Eddie, fuck, Steve would fight Vecna and the whole Upside Down again for him again.

When Steve reaches his house and storms inside, the kitchen is empty, and the guest room is also empty, Jamie is gone.

Maybe Eddie is gone too.

“Steve?”

Eddie is there, appearing from Steve's room, his hair is wet and he's wearing Steve's yellow jumper, the one that makes his dark eyes pop, and his ripped jeans.

"Steve are you ok? What happened?" Eddie raises both his hands to reach but he doesn't dare to. Steve's heart clenches in behind his ribs. 

"Where's Jamie?" Steve asks because, well, because he wants to know, not that he cares if his cousin is still there, he's going to confess anyway.

"On his way to the airport I think... but Steve, I... I'm sorry, I made a fool of myself, I..."

Steve closes the distance and hugs hin tight, because Eddie's bright eyes were full of tears and that can't be, that's not natural, Eddie's eyes should be always shimmering with joy, nothing else.

"I'm the fool, Eddie," Steve says softly, feeling Eddie against him. "I've been blind, I fell for you so deeply that I even realised it, does that make any sense?"

Eddie laughs, "nothing about you makes any sense, Harrington." 

Steve laughs too.

"Nothing happened," Eddie rushes to reassure. "Well, we kissed, or I tried, but he wasn't you and I... I'm sorry, Steve, I thought you'll never... but this morning you said, you said…"

Eddie looks at him and smiles, his real smile, that one with deep dimples that make Steve's heart skip a beat every time.

"I was going to say that I should have tell you instead of faking that my gay-radar was broken, but...." Steve groans at that and Eddie snorts. "But you can say it to me? Now? Come on big boy, time to talk about feelings."

Steve laughs, his forehead against Eddie's, enjoying his teasing as usual.

"Eddie... you already heard it..." Steve complains with no real heat, he's dying to tell him, he just loves to play.

"I want to hear it again, King, come on, say it to me and if you're good you'll have your reward."

That's... not as innocent and a renewed heat nests in Steve's lower belly. This is familiar and yet too new, and Steve swallows hard.

"I love you, Eddie, fuck, I love you so much I was losing my mind watching you with him..."

"Yeah? Did you want to punch him this morning?"

"I've been wanting to fucking kicking out of my house since the moment he laid his eyes on you, Eddie, fuck, I'm awful..."

"Nuh uh, nothing of that, sweetheart, you did what you thought was best, hm?"

"And you're getting off thinking about me punching a guy?"

"About punching a rival, love, that's so hot…"

Steve laughs, still not believing his dumb luck, still not able to let go of Eddie.

"You're incredible... Fuck, you're here... Eddie, I thought I was going to lose you..."

Eddie grimaces at that and shakes his head.

"Steve, I love you, you dumbass, I can't leave you, I just want you..."

Steve doesn't know who closes the distance but they're kissing and that's all that matters now, Eddie's lips in his and his tongue darting to savour Steve. 

Fuck, Steve is suddenly all too hot, Eddie's stubble scratching against his own, that's new, but he loves it. And Eddie's hands - broader and longer than all the girls' hands Steve remembers - are on him, wandering under his polo, touching every inch of skin they can reach.

Eddie's mouth leaves his to leave a trail of kisses down his neck.

"Fuck, I've been thinking about this for too long," Eddie admits and Steve can't hold on a moan.

"This polo of yours is absolutely ridiculous, sweetheart, wouldn't be you more comfortable without it...?" 

Steve doesn't wait for Eddie to finish when he's already taking his polo off, and reveling in the way Eddie's eyes widen at the sight.

"What... what else.... what else have you been thinking about?" Steve manages to ask, cheeks flushed red and shivering with anticipation.

Eddie starts talking while leading them into Steve's room, falling into Steve's bed. Removing his own clothes and Steve's hands need to touch all that pale skin, scarred by the demobats just as his own, and he caresses every healed scar.

He's so lucky, he managed to keep Eddie twice, now.

"Aren't you curious, dearheart?" Eddie smirks, but he's just as affected, his voice trembling. "I've been thinking about your lips, about how pink they are, if they'll turn red and swollen after being kissed and how they'll look wrapped around my cock..."

Steve growls. He wants that, he realises, he wants Eddie in his mouth, in his hands, inside him if Eddie will have him.

"I've been thinking about you being covered in blood and grim in the upside down, fuck, Harrington, you don't have any business being that hot while fighting for your life.... I wanted to suck you off, to bend you and have you just right there..."

"Eddie, Eddie, yes, you should have done that," Steve squirms, he feels delirious, Eddie sharing his fantasies with him is almost too much.

[kdramacrybaby]

I honestly feel so fucking bad for Yeo Hwa-jung and Yoo Cho-hee. All because of a douchebag like Jang Young-guk, two women are put against each other like that. Cho-hee just wants her friends back, but the hurt Hwa-jung feels after being betrayed by her ex-husband is too strong and it’s too easy to make Cho-hee another bad guy. And all that for an absolute moron

Also, Young-guk really went and fucking said “I married you cause you wanted me to, and I divorced you because you wanted me to, now why are you ruining my life” to the MOTHER OF HIS CHILD! Like he does not care at all that she actually has real fucking feelings for him 🤬

[atsumuahh]

“ SECRET LOVER ” dreamwastaken

characters !

dreamwastaken, wilbur’s twin!reader, technoblade, philza, tommyinnit, wilbur soot, karl, sapnap, georgenotfound, drista, tubbo.

summary !

when reader chooses the dsmp high everything seems to be great, but things gets complicated when her brand new crush turns out to be her oldest brother’s rival. it gets even more complicated when he asks her out.

warnings !

swear words, usage of dream’s real name

notes !

dream as a football team captain rent free in my head... and i’m also sorry that it took me so long to write… its almost 3k words and not proofread!

taglist !

@wilczachannn

it was easy to assume that you had been in your brothers’ shadows. techno, wilbur and tommy were talented, football players with great, great achievements. the only thing you wanted was a big change in your life, so when you graduated from the middle school and it came up to making a big decision on choosing high school, you chose the dsmp high – school located an hour away from your house.

you remember your first day at school. the day started awfully. tommy woke you up with a loud yell at – as you rightly guessed – wilbur, who stole his phone and texted to his crush. it turned out that you had twenty minutes left to get ready and leave for bus and not be late. well... you were late on the bus, but thankfully your dad promised he’ll drop you off at school.

phil couldn’t be more proud of you. for real, he knew how hard it was for you to choose different school from techno, wilbur and tommy (everyone know he’ll go after his brothers). you were miserable through your whole middle school, because no one ever noticed you as your own person, only as wilbur’s twin sister, techno’s younger sibling or the only sister of tommy. it cause you to slowly losing yourself and becoming a female version of your brothers. so when you spoke to him about the idea of the dsmp high, he couldn’t get happier.

fortunately, dad dropped you off fifteen minutes before your first period started. wandering around the new school, looking for people you had classes with. you looked at your phone and accidentally bumped into a tall, dirty blonde guy with painted nails and purple sweater.

“oh no- i’m so sorry!” he spoke kind of afraid he might hurt you. “you alright?” a worried ask left his mouth as he put a hand on your shoulder.

it turned out that his name is karl and you took same classes as him. well in fact the boy seemed to be pretty nice, chill and funny. you two were on your way to the biology class and jokes were in the air. you felt so delightful that you messaged wilbur and techno a small text saying you just made your first friend. as no one responded you hid your phone.

“don’t worry, bestie.” he beamed at you. “i’ll meet you with my other friends, if that’s okay. they’ll love you and you won’t have to worry about making ones!” karl whispered into your ear and you couldn’t hide a soft smile that formed on your face.

as he said, he did. it was your lunch pause so he led you to the cafeteria. the idea of sitting at the table with people you didn’t know was.. terrifying but at the same time, so exiting. you felt like your heart skipped a beat when a guy called dream showed up with his best friends george and sapnp.

he was so handsome that you couldn’t take your eyes off him. looking at him was just so pleasing that you were kinda mad that he was karl’s friend so you couldn’t really sigh over him. surprisingly, he turned out to be a nice guy as well. you expected dream to be a completely jerk and an arsehole, but well you started to feel like you’d fall for him.

well… you were right. you fell for clay so deeply that just being around him was… stressing you out. he always cared about you, through your whole freshman year he was so cute and it was hard not to fall.

sophomore year started in a very… unexpected way. you hadn’t seen your friends in weeks, because you have lived so far away, but it didn’t make your brand new friends group to fall apart. you wouldn’t be so surprised if they organized a meet after classes but… well it was a meet, but only with clay. in a shortcut – he took you on a date.

“i missed you so much, y/n/n” he smiled as he shyly took your hand and intertwined your fingers with his. a small, timid smile formed on your blushed face. “fuck… i like you, i have a huge ass crush on you, okay? i-i just don’t wanna mess up our friendship… so please tell me if you don’t feel same” clay spoke with shaking voice, not giving you a sight.

maybe it was the adrenaline that boosted you up, or your inner self just wanted to do it, but as his confession ended, your lips gentlt pressed his. clay was… well shocked is a good word, clay was shocked, but he pulled you in even closer and that’s how you ended up making out in the park.

you were thrilled to the gills and you almost told your brothers about clay. almost, because you heard techno’s talking about a match against the dsmp high. well it wouldn’t be such a big thing if you hadn’t heard dream, and well oh well. words weren’t too nice.

“hi… are you free?” you said softly, sitting on your bed. you were frightened – what if they don’t like each other? what if… wilbur and tommy also don’t like him? “you know techno, right? technoblade minecraft?” a quiet ask left your mouth as you sat under the tree in your yard.

“yes, unfortunately.” his response made you thought that you had annoyed him. “wait, why you’re asking? did he hurt you or something?” dream didn’t let you answer as he added i’m gon’ kill him under his breathe.

“noo, don’t worry” you clutched your head and sighed. “he’s… my brother, older brother, actually”. silence between you two were clearly killing you, but you couldn’t be one to break it. he had to say something.

“oh my fuck” you heard his shocked voice and chuckled in response. “it doesn’t matter. you’re the one i fell in love with, not he. i know you’re worried, but everything will be alright.”.

“i hope so” his laughter calmed you. “i’ll call you later so we can fall asleep on call okay? dinner’s ready”.

”it’s kinda forbidden love, isn’t it?” george laughed as he wrapped his arm around you with a cute smile. brown haired boy was waiting along with you at your whole friends’ group. “y’know… techno is your brother and also a rival of your boyfriend… it’s exciting”.

you almost gasped at his words. it felt so silly and people would probably find it meaningless, but you couldn’t hide a smile that appeared on your face. he didn’t say techno’s sister like everyone from the middle school would say, george said that he’s your brother.

“as long as i love her, nothing else really matters to me” clay’s voice was so sweet that you almost melted under it. he was right, there’s no reason to overthink – you love him and it’s the only thing that matters.

“yeah, you should definitely tell him that at the match on saturday.” oh my fucking god, a match. the elimination match between the dsmp high and the lmanburg high. you were completely between a rock and a hard place.

“fuck, i forgot about it.” wrapping his arms around your body, dream felt how stressed you began to get. he also felt when your body unwittingly started to shake. “he’ll hate me, so will wilbur and tommy.”

“aren’t they already hating you? like- you barely talk to them at home, so… what’s the problem?” sapnap asked shrugging. well, he was right – techno lost his interest in talking to you and unfortunately wilbur and tommy took their cue from him, and the only person you had talked to was your dad.

“you’re coming to our match, right?” karl asked with a nervous smile forming on his face. it was his first match ever on the team – you couldn’t not be there. “it doesn’t who will you cheer for, just be there, okay?”

“karl, of course i will be there” you smiled at him, trying to hide your increasing stress that almost made you pass out. “please win this, okay? it’d be too hard to look at your miserable faces.”

tommy had always been your favorite of them all. as a child he wouldn’t let you go and sometimes it was obviously burdensome, but you loved it. you loved how he cared and now you missed it. he wanted, but he couldn’t talk to you, techno and wilbur would be pissed if he did.

he wondered about telling you how well he made friends in high school along with tubbo. about all of the funny jokes he made. he just wanted to be a teenager that shares cool memories with his older sister, but for now his brothers were too proud to apologize.

“wil, are you sure we should do that?” he asked, uneasiness appearing on his pale face. he genuinely missed his big sister that always helped him with his homework, with choosing cool outfits to impress girls, helped him, when he argued with tubbo. “she looks so miserable. even dad is worried!”

“we have nothing to do with her miserableness. she left us first. now, she can go and fuck herself” wilbur had never acted lke that before, so surprised tommy just frowned at him and shook his head in hopelessness. something was off and he would like to know what. to repair it.

his stomach rambled and it was time for a snack. tommy was about to came in, but he heard a bit of a conversation between philza and his only daughter.

“yeah, they do kinda hate me” she shrugged, not letting her tears fall. “uhm… clay proposed that i could stay at his. you know, dad. until… they start talking to me again.” long sigh left her mouth as she clutched her head in hands, right before he noticed tears. tommy couldn’t do more, so he got back to his room not letting anyone in later that evening.

it’d be a lie if someone said that tommy wasn’t stressed out. his first game was in a few minutes and his sister was nowhere to be found. “she has better things to do, i disappointed her - i shouldn’t be so shocked.”

when he saw her, he felt relieved. she was there to support him in his first game in high school ever, but as he watched her, slowly drifting away, looking for someone different in the crowd of people, he was hurt.

“i can’t believe you really choose to avoid the affection from dream for today, because your brothers are here. you should fuck them three” sapnap laughed, looking over your shoulder at tommy. “two. he looks hurt as well as you.” you know he was, but he didn’t do anything because the pressure techno and wilbur put on him, was killing him inside.

“y/n you came!” karl cried out, running towards you and sapnap. he hugged you tight and smiled softly, giggling noiselessly. “did y/n’s brothers saw it? i was literally her ride.”

“excuse me, you did that on purpose?” george laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. you joined him, but you stopped when you saw tommy’s upset, frightened face. it wasn’t only karl’s first game – it was tommy’s as well.

“i gotta talk to him” you sighed exhausted of the whole drama around you and your brothers. or just around you, wilbur and techno. your little brother had nothing to do with it. “tommy, hi” you started a bit nervous, feeling the tension betweet you two. and firstly, you thought he will just go away, but you gasped as he hugged you tight.

“i missed you so much” he whispered so anyone could hear but you. soft smile showed up on his face, making it way more brighter. “thanks for coming here, i know it’s rought between you and wil. he’s kinda mad but everything will be fine, i know that.” you wrapped arms around his torso and smiled widely.

“you’ve got this, okay tommy?” you brushed his hair. in response you got a growl and loud laugh after. “if you win or if you lose, it doesn’t matter, because i will still love you, but i’ve gotta go back to my friends.” you beamed and left tommy as soon as you saw wilbur storming towards you.

me: can’t wait to see you on the field :)

you felt like melting, when dream looked at you with his happy, excited face. you were so proud of him – he was the captain of the school football team and it was known that he has a sport scholarship. despite your brothers’ presence, you planned to show clay some support and you painted a medium #21 on your black, denim jacket.

clay: can’t wait to see you on my bed, right next to the trophy i’ll get as a captain.

he hadn’t lie. you sat on his messy bed, in his messy bedroom, talking to his younger sister drista. she was adorably bewitching. she was a bit younger than tommy, but thankfully she wasn’t as loud as him. you laughed after hearing her awful joke.

“so… you’re living here by now?” she asked curiously, frowning. her eyes scanning your, now, blushed face, waiting on the answer. “please, i cannot stand his my-girlfriend-lives-so-far-and-i-can’t-sneak-into-her-room-and-kiss.” she rolled her eyes, but smile widely.

“oh, yeah.” you blushed even harder as she laughed at your already blushed face. “i’m just worried if he’s okay with us hiding, you know? i mean– he could be with someone else, someone… someone better.”

drista didn’t know what to say and you knew she didn’t have to. you were scared – because of your situation that had place in middle school – he will just leave your for someone better, someone prettier, smarter, cuter.

unfortunately for you, clay had heard your every single word. he coughed, letting drista know that she should go. girl smiled at you before leaving you two alone. him, standing in front of you with only his sweatpants on. “y/n” he started as he got closer.

“i- i- can not tell i know how you feel or how you should feel. and-and i genuinely do not care about anyone else but you. i love you, okay dumbass?” he sat as close as possible and beamed softly.

“you won’t replace me?” the whole thing between you and clay was terrifying you so much. is he lying about his feelings? is he really in love with you? or maybe you’re just a bet? you almost shook your head as the thoughts began to overwhelm you.

he wouldn’t do that. and if he would, some of his friends (yours as well) would kill him. you couldn’t be more happier at the moment. your boyfriend had just told you that he loves you for the very first time, you made amazing friends that would kill for you and vice versa, but there was one thing you had to fix. the relationship with techno and wilbur.

“i could never replace you, love”.

“you sure you wanna do it?” clay asked, gently rubbing your thigh with his thumb, sitting in the front seat of his car. you were about to tell your whole family that clay dream is your boyfriend. the guy your older brother claimed to hate. lots of fun, right?

you nodded unsure, getting out of the car. it was your first time seeing your brothers in over a month and – boy, oh boy – you were terrified. did they miss you? did they even notice you were gone? you wished they did. you weren’t even able to ring the doorbell, because tommy opened the door with a huge grin.

“i’ve been waiting for you.” he confessed, closing you in a tight hug. he let you off as soon as he noticed smiled dream standing right behind you. “and who are you, mister?” suspicious question left tommy’s mouth.

“i’m y/n’s boyfriend, clay” dream beamed at tommy as he let you in. shock finding their way onto his face was… quite hilarious. he mumbled something under his breathe, but you couldn’t catch it.

as soon as you got onto the dining room, you saw wilbur, techno and dad setting the table. tommy coughed, couldn’t hide his happiness. his sister is back and he can’t let her go ever again.

“hi…” you started, your voice getting shaky. “i wanted to explain some things and it’d be a pleasure if you would accept my new boyfriend, especially technoblade.” dream took your sweaty with nervousness hand to calm you. he knew it was tough for you, knowing that him and techno are rivals. “this is clay and i know you know him, and you’re not on the good terms, but please just… finally talk to me, because i miss both of you and i’d love to have either my brothers and boyfriend close as possible.” you finished glancing at techno and wilbur.

“y/n, i’m just sad you didn’t want to go to same school with me. you had never told me why, we were inseparable and everything changed within days.” wilbur was first to answer you. his dejected voice made you crying. you missed him, his voice, his advices, his presence around you. “everytime i woke up, you were already running on the bus and we didn’t have a chance to talk.”

“i- you- you’re right. i should’ve told you why did i choose the dsmp high. i did, because i began to lose myself, everyone saw me only as your sister and i started to think that i do not matter anymore. i had to change it and i had to show everyone that i’m not just yours and techno’s sister, but i’m my own persona.” wil stood up and got closer to you. your tears convinced him that you weren’t lying and he felt bad that he didn’t realize it sooner. “i’m so sorry”.

“no- no, i’m also sorry. i’m the one that should apologizing. you were just choosing your own path and i was mad at you, because of that. ‘m sorry y/n/n.” you smiled through tears and hugged him as tight as you only could.

“there’s no much drama between us” techno chuckled quietly, watching you and wilbur cuddling. “i already knew what’s going on between you two at the match. i just took wil’s side.” he shrugged and you laughed, shaking your head in disbelief. “well, it doesn’t mean i like you” he claimed glaring at your boyfriend. “i can tolerate you as long as you’ll treat y/n the best you can, otherwise i’ll kill you”.

“i agree and so does tommy” your twin added, looking dream dead in the eyes.

“maybe we’ll stop the death threats here and start eating?” your dad proposed with a cheerful smile. his kids were finally getting along again, he couldn’t be more proud or happier than at the moment.

“it went so well” you whispered delighted. you were snuggling with dream on your bed, some time after the dinner ended. phil suggested that he could stay for the night, so they can get to know him better.

tommy was thrilled to the bones about the fact that now, he has a new friend, older than him, and also a captain of the football team, so he could teach him how to play better. wil was… well wil. he made sure that dream didn’t have any wrong intentions and techno just couldn’t care less if you were happy with him. he even suggested that they should bury the hatchet and move on.

“i haven’t said that to anyone yet, but i love you” you said, almost skipping a bit when he held your head and gently kissed you.

“well, you already know that i’m head over heels in love with you. and it won’t ever change” he said and kissed you one more time.

[jeonsjiddies]

Headlights | pjm (m)

Summary- Jimin is a fuckboi, rumor has it his tongue can make you see stars. Everyone assumes he’s this way because he just wants to have fun. No one dares look deeper, no one sees the haunted look in his eyes, the emptiness and pain that reside in their deep brown depths. Until you.

🎶 Headlights by The Classic Crime - “Please don’t face the headlights of oncoming cars alone.” 🎶

Word Count- 14.7k 🥴

Pairing- Jimin x reader

Genre- smut

Warnings- oral (female recieving), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, slightly rough sex, nipple piercing? is that warning?, some depression-like symptoms/thoughts, a little self destructive behavior? Kind of.

a/n: Part of the Tatted Bangtan Series! This is the longest fic I have ever written and it is my baby. I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please let me know what you think!  💕 

Walking up to the frat house was intimidating, and you slowed your stride enough for Hana to reach back and yank you with her into the party. You could feel the bass of the music rattling your bones and couldn’t hear Hana as she shouted over the music to you. 

“I can’t believe you made me do this!” you hissed, twisting your body around just in time to narrowly miss a drunk football player bulldozing his way through the crowd. 

“What?” she shouted back. 

You simply rolled your eyes and shook your head, gripping her hand tightly and following her through the overcrowded living room to the barely quieter kitchen. You took the drink she handed you and nursed it slowly, since you liked a good buzz but still wanted a clear head. 

You felt his gaze before you saw him; you could feel the shivers along the back of your neck. 

You turned to seek out the cause, methodically searching the crowd. Your eyes met the most beautiful pair of brown ones you’d ever seen, the strobe lights from above causing them to almost glow brighter-  but that was the only light in his gaze. His eyes looked… sad. Empty. 

It seemed like everything else turned blurry, and you could only focus on him in perfect clarity, every feature defined and prominent; every move he made, your eyes followed. Everything else faded away, and you only saw him. Him and his beautiful eyes, full of longing and something you couldn’t quite place.

You couldn’t help but furrow your brow in concern. Your face showed your every emotion like an open book, and you opened your mouth to ask Hana who was staring at you before she squealed, gripping your arm.

“Park Jimin is totally checking you out!” she giggled, tugging on your sleeve excitedly.

“Park Jimin?” you questioned rhetorically.

“He’s famous on campus. He’s hot, rich, and a total freak in the sheets. Rumor has it his tongue can make you see stars. Every girl on campus is dying for a night with him.” she chattered.

“Oh geez.” You rolled your eyes.

“Seriously. The saying is: once you Jimin, you can’t Jim-out. He’s so good in bed, he’s had to get like three restraining orders against girls who can’t let go. They say once you sleep with him no one else will do.” she continued, waving her hands in the air dramatically.

“I’ll take your word for it.” you giggled, glancing over towards Jimin once again.

He was absolutely gorgeous, with perfectly styled light brown hair, soft, plump looking lips, a jawline that could cut someone. His white t-shirt showed off tattoos that danced down his arms, covering the delicate ivory skin beneath. His thighs alone deserved their own wing in an art gallery, beautifully encased in skin tight ripped jeans. You caught yourself staring, clearing your throat and averting your gaze, but something kept drawing you back to him.

He was surrounded by girls, all leaning forward to give him the best view of their cleavage, all doing their best to seduce him, but he looked bored. Lonely. Lost. He sighed and his eyes trailed back to you. He watched you for a moment, noting how you flushed and turned away looking flustered. A smirk played on his lips and he shoved himself off the wall, making his way over to you.

“Shit! He’s coming over here!” Hana whisper-shouted.

You braced yourself, waiting for him to call you out for staring, or yell at you. Your body seemed to be vibrating with nerves because you could feel him getting closer, like your body had a radar that searched him out. Warm breath ghosted over the back of your neck, right under your ear. You shivered.

“Hello, there princess.” he purred.

You spun around, startled, and came face-to-face with Jimin.

He was even more gorgeous up close. He smelled of alcohol and something minty. You couldn’t help basking in the lovely scent that filled your senses for a moment, before leveling your gaze to his. His body wasn’t even two inches from yours. If you leaned up on your toes, you’d be kissing him. You took a step behind you, your back hitting the island in the kitchen.

“Hello,” you greeted in return, willing the heat in your cheeks to look like it was from the humidity in the room and not Jimin’s proximity to you.

“I haven’t seen you around before, are you a Freshman?” he inquired, sending his charming smile your way and making your knees want to buckle.

“No, I just normally don’t come to parties,” you explained, tilting your head towards Hana. “Hana made me.”

“Why not?” he wondered aloud.

“Just… not my scene.” you shrugged. 

Jimin watched your face, amusement apparent on his features. He seemed to be contemplating something. Apparently coming to his decision, his smile came back to grace his gorgeous face, but it didn’t reach his eyes, a detail you couldn’t miss even if you’d wanted to.

“Sounds like you need to have a little fun,” he smirked, stepping closer to you, his fingertips trailing along your hips and his lips grazing the shell of your ear as he whispered his next sentence, “I could help you with that. My room is upstairs.”

“I… I, uh… no… no thank you,” you sputtered, placing your hand on his (deliciously firm) chest and gently urging him backwards to put space between your erratically beating heart and his warm, enticing body.

“What?” Jimin asked, genuinely confused.

“I’m not that kind of girl.” you said softly, trying to cushion the blow to his ego.

“You really don’t want to fuck me?” he asked, bewildered.

“Um… no thank you.” You coughed awkwardly.

Jimin stared at you for a moment, reading you. His eyes searched yours, looking for something. You didn’t know what, or if he found it, but when he looked away, he shrugged.

“Your loss.” he turned to the sound of someone calling his name and left you standing there, heart pounding out of your chest and legs weak.

You watched him walk away, plastering on that signature flirty smile that fooled everyone around him. You watched his animated dancing, life of the party, putting on a show. You watched his eyes search the crowd, like his soul was longing to find something, but you didn’t know what.

                                                      -♡-

A few weeks had gone by since your encounter with Jimin, and somehow he was everywhere. You saw him on your way to class, laughing with his friends by the fountain. You saw him at the coffee shop, exiting the building as you were about to enter. You saw him in the crowded hallways of your university, heard his infectious laugh bubbling from his chest and dancing through the air. 

Even when Jimin wasn’t in your direct line of vision, even when you couldn’t hear the way his melodic voice carried through the air, he was everywhere. Every night since meeting him, you dreamt of sad, empty brown eyes attached to the most gorgeous man you’d ever seen. Every other thought that flitted through your mind was about him. What was Jimin up to? Does he look happier today? Was it just that night? Where was he now?

Sitting in the lecture hall next to Hana, you couldn’t pay attention to what the professor was attempting to teach you, a heavy sigh falling from your lips as you doodled a familiar pair of plusher ones. Hana nudged your shoulder.

“What’s up with you lately? You’re like, lost in space or something.” she accused.

“Sorry, just got a lot on my mind,” you sighed, playing with the edges of your notebook distractedly.

“Wanna talk about it?” she wondered.

“How much do you know about Park Jimin?” you asked almost instantly, causing Hana to jump a bit.

“Oh honey…” she sighed, shaking her head, “Don’t go there. Park Jimin is a good fuck if you’re looking to let loose, but I wouldn’t get too invested. Fucking is about all he’s good at. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself.” 

“Do you really think he’s not good for anything but that? I mean, he’s human.” you defended.

“That’s not what I meant, I just know how you are. Don't go crushing on him, he’ll break your heart Y/N. Park Jimin doesn’t do emotions. He does meaningless sex.” she explained.

“I guess…” you trailed off, avoiding her gaze.

“Seriously. Don’t go looking for trouble.” she warned.

“I won’t.” you promised.

“Good. Now, there’s a party this weekend. Are you coming?” she grinned.

A classmate in front of you coughed obnoxiously sending you a glare. You shot them an apologetic smile but lowered your voice. Hana didn’t lower her volume at all though.

“Maybe. I don’t know.” you shrugged.

“Come onnnn. Live a little!” she encouraged.

“If you two ladies have something to share with the class, I’d be more than happy to give you the podium. Otherwise, I’d appreciate it if you’d wait until after class to discuss whatever is so important,” the professor hummed, shooting a glare in your direction.

Immediately silencing yourself, you looked down at your notebook, where the drawing of Jimin’s plush lips stared at you. You stared back, recalling the last time you’d seen him, and how your heart had pounded in your chest violently enough that you thought it was going to come out. 

You decided you needed to see him again, which is how you found yourself completely out of place once again at another frat party. Drunk and stoned college kids stumbled around, grinded on each other, made out in corners, and caused all kinds of trouble all around you as you tried to be inconspicuous in your search for Jimin.

“Do you want a drink?”  you asked Hana and she nodded, so you ventured into the kitchen to retrieve something for the two of you. 

Once you returned, you couldn’t find her anywhere. She had a tendency of wandering off with the first hot guy she set her sights on, but you decided to look for her anyway. You wove between bodies, checking around corners and searching all the obvious places. When you came up empty handed you ventured out the back door, only to notice none other than Park Jimin sitting on the porch swing alone, smoking.

Previous task abandoned, you walked up to him and sat beside him; his eyes lazily trailed up and down your figure as he assessed you, his plump lips turning up into a smirk.

“Didn’t think I’d see you again. Change your mind about my offer?” he smiled seductively.

“No.” you shrugged, offering him the extra cup in your hand, which he took while watching you carefully.

“Seriously? Am I not your type or something? You think I’m ugly?” he wondered, feigning distress.

“That’s not it at all!” you gasped out with a little too much conviction.

“So you find me attractive?” he verified, scooting closer.

“Well, yes,” you admitted, cheeks blazing while you avoided his intense gaze.

“So you do want to fuck me.” He grinned.

“No,” you shook your head.

“Why?” he questioned, letting his fingertips dance along the edge of your shorts.

“Like I said. I’m not that kind of girl. I think sex should be meaningful,” you shrugged, though your body betrayed you with the goosebumps rising at his touch.

“Ah, so you’re one of those hopeless romantics,” he laughed.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” you giggled. “I’m not waiting for a knight in shining armour. I just want it to mean something.”

Jimin focused his gaze on your face, watching you carefully as you fiddled with a stray thread on your blouse. He knew your body reacted to him, he could see the way you shivered, feel the goosebumps on your skin. He didn’t understand why you weren’t jumping at the opportunity to fall into bed with him like everyone else. You were an enigma to him. 

You finally met his gaze, curiosity getting the better of you. You had to know if his eyes still held the same look as before, or if it was a one-time thing. You could still see the loneliness, masked by his overconfident demeanor. 

“What’s your major?” you asked, changing the subject out of the blue.

“What? Oh, um… dance, actually.” he said, averting his gaze.

“How long have you been dancing?” you wondered.

“Since I was little. Why are you asking this?” he narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

“Just wondering. I don’t know anything about you,” you easily replied.

“What’s yours?” he countered.

“Creative writing.” 

“That’s cool.” he sent you a tentative smile.

“Thanks. So is dancing. I can’t dance to save my life,” you giggled.

“I’m sure you’re not that bad,” he argued, a smile playing on his lips.

“Oh, you haven’t seen bad,” you laughed.

After taking a moment to wonder why you were even outside talking to him and what you could possibly want from him, he pushed his suspicion aside..Jimin rolled his eyes with a smile and stood up, extending his hand out to you. You sent him a questioning look and he just shook his hand until you grabbed it, and he pulled you to your feet. He reached down into his pocket and pulled out his phone, playing a song you hadn’t heard before, but enjoyed nonetheless. It was slow and simple, but still pretty upbeat.

“We’ll try something simple so I can see where you’re at, ok?” Jimin grinned at you, spacing his feet apart and watching your face.

“You’re going to make me dance?” you gasped.

“I’m going to teach you some easy moves. Everyone should know at least one dance move,” he laughed.

“If you watch me fall on my face I can never look you in the eye again,” you grumbled.

“Oh hush. Okay, start with your feet shoulder width apart for balance.” he instructed.

You mimicked his stature, placing your feet shoulder width apart and following his movements that he did slowly so you could catch on. You could tell he was graceful and knew how to move his body, even when he was slowing down and exaggerating his movements so you could keep up. Jimin’s movements were fluid and calculated, each new step had precision but flowed into the next seamlessly. He was made to dance, you decided. And somehow, you didn’t fall under his instruction. He was patient and understanding when you’d mess up, showing you again and praising you when you got it right.

 He seemed to be having fun, his laughter filled you with giddiness and his smile seemed genuine, his eyes scrunched up into little crescent moons and his beautiful pearly teeth on display, his hands wrapped around his stomach as he leaned over in another fit of laughter. You giggled along with him, albeit at your own expense, but you loved seeing this side of Jimin, he seemed… happy, carefree. This was the way Jimin was meant to be.

When you messed up again, Jimin laughed, coming over to you and grabbing your hands, showing you how to move your body to the music by leading you with his own. Your back was pressed against his firm chest as he guided you, his hips flush against yours, causing a blush to creep up your neck. Jimin must have noticed the position he’d put you in, but it didn’t stop him. He only pressed closer, whispering in your ear.

“You’re doing so good for me, babygirl,” he purred, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. 

You shivered, attempting to turn and pull out of his hold to scold him, but you were interrupted by a loud male voice coming from inside the house.

“Yo Park where the hell have you been? We need help in beer pong! Oh-” a tall man you recognized as Hoseok froze at the sight.

Jimin cleared his throat and stepped away from you. Hana peered around Hoseok from behind him, curious to what was going on. Her eyes widened when she saw you, and she gave you a look of disappointment, knowing you hadn’t listened to her warning. You looked away, avoiding her gaze as Jimin breezed past you to follow Hoseok inside. Hana watched you for a moment before following them inside, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

                                                         -♡-

It had been a few days since your dancing lesson with Jimin, and seeing him in such a comfortable, happy state hadn’t really done much to take him off your mind, especially not after seeing his eyes glaze over and the mask slip right back on as soon as Hoseok called his name. How he’d breezed past you like you didn’t exist after what felt like a special moment shared between the two of you.

Maybe Hana was right… maybe all he wanted was sex. Your anxiety was telling you he was playing with your emotions, but you knew better. You saw something in Jimin, something no one else seemed to notice. The small amount of time you’d spent with him when he had let his guard down had given you the opportunity to see what potential he had. 

 Jimin didn’t have to be tough and closed off. He could be fun and open and sweet. He could be thoughtful and patient and encouraging. He could be silly and smart and dedicated. He was talented and hard working. You’d spent maybe an hour alone with Jimin at the party that night, and in that small frame of time, you’d seen a glimpse of the real him shine through that facade he put on for everyone else. 

You wanted to see it again.

You took’d taken a trip into the city to do some sight seeing and clear your restless mind, having been driven crazy going in circles. It had taken longer than you’d anticipated, so you’d opted to take a taxi home with the sun having gone down a while ago and the stars making their appearance. You watched the cityscape fly by, lost in your own little world. The closer you got to campus, the more you paid attention, knowing the bridge that overlooked the beautiful skyline would be coming soon. 

You watched the water below ripple gently, small waves dancing across the surface of the river underneath the bridge. It was beautiful, reflections of the city lights shining and shimmering in the water. You glanced up at the other end of the bridge and saw a figure standing there, alone. It kind of looked like…

“Sir, stop the car. Pull over please!” you begged the driver.

He shot you a curious look but pulled to the side of the road. You handed him your fare and dashed away from the car towards the figure. Once you realized he wasn’t going to jump or do anything stupid, you slowed your stride, watching him as you quietly made your way over to him. Jimin was lost in thought and didn’t notice you approaching him. He watched the waves longingly, as if he wished he were floating away in them, part of the nothingness. Like he wanted to disappear into the water and drift away into the sea.

The look in his eyes as he gazed out into the unknown was haunted, and it tore at your heart to see him look so empty. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and if that’s true, Jimin’s soul seemed broken. You wanted to know why. He had it all. He had money, good looks, friends, girls, what could possibly be missing? Why did he look so dejected?

You gently placed your hand on his shoulder and he jumped slightly upon realizing he wasn’t alone, turning to face you. His gaze met yours in silence, he watched your face for a moment, then his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Y/N?” he asked. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing. I was riding by and saw you, I wanted to make sure you were okay. What are you doing up here all alone?” you wondered.

Jimin turned to face you fully now, looking down at you with a hard expression.

“Why do you care?” he asked, bunching his fists at his side. “What do you want from me Y/N? Why are you being so nice to me?”

“I don’t want anything from you, Jimin. I just want to make sure you’re okay. I want to be your friend,” you explained softly, reaching out to touch his arm, which he yanked away.

“You want to be my friend?” he laughed bitterly. “Why? So I can buy you stuff? You want my money? Here,” he took out his wallet, holding out several bills for you to take.

You were shocked, stepping back a little, but looking up to meet Jimin’s gaze. He looked resigned, angry. You looked at his outstretched hand, holding the money out to you and sighed. You reached for his hand, and he thought you’d take the bills, but you only eased his hand back down to his side.

“I don’t want your money,” you told him, trying to keep your voice from sounding as offended as you felt. “I just like spending time with you.”

“Why? What is your angle here? Just take what you want and go, like everyone else does. Everyone uses each other, I don’t know what you’re trying to get out of me, but just take it and go. Stop acting like you care about me,” he hissed.

You watched him for a moment, chest heaving as he took deep breaths, looking angry and closed off and… scared. He looked scared. He said everyone uses each other, did he really not have anyone in his life who genuinely just wanted him to be happy? 

“I do care about you, Jimin. I don’t want anything from you but friendship,” you said softly.

“Right,” he laughed, “like I believe that. No one just wants to be friends. They want something. Sex. Money. Status. Then they leave, everyone leaves eventually so why bother getting attached and pretending to care?”

“That sounds really lonely, Jimin,” you trailed off quietly.

Jimin’s expression was one of shock. He was expecting some sort of reaction out of you, anger, defiance, maybe admitting you were just after his money. He expected you to try to trick him, to yell at him, to tell him he was an asshole and you never wanted to see him again. Jimin was not expecting you to see straight through him, to see how lonely he was, how much he craved connection.

You terrified Jimin. He’d been drawn to you from when he first laid eyes on you, admittedly it was a sexual attraction at first. When you’d refused him, though, he was intrigued. He’d watched you around campus, how you never sought out to be the center of attention, how you didn’t go looking for drama or clout. Then you showed up on that porch swing at the party, looking into his eyes like you really saw him.

Jimin hadn’t felt so at ease so quickly with anyone in his life like he did with you. He felt like he could be himself, like he could let his guard down. He had fun, really enjoyed himself for the first time in what felt like forever with you. He wasn’t putting on a show. He wasn’t giving the people what he thought they wanted to see from him. He was just spending time with a beautiful girl who made him feel like he was enough.

And that was terrifying.

Jimin couldn’t afford to get attached again. He’d had his heart ripped out and stomped on so many times he’d honestly thought he didn’t have one anymore. Until he watched the way your eyes lit up when you giggled at one of his silly dance moves. Until he felt the giddiness rising in his chest when you smiled especially for him. Jimin almost couldn’t remember what it felt like to feel so carefree, and he missed it so much. He longed to be free and let go.

You made him feel like he could, and that scared Jimin shitless. He’d spent so long building up this wall to protect himself, so long wearing this mask of indifference to shield his weary and battered heart from another letdown. Another person pretending to care. Another “friend” using him to get something. Another betrayal. But you… you felt so genuine. You were light and happy and kind and you made him feel like he could breathe again. He barely knew you, and already you’d wormed your way into his heart enough to make him feel like things could be different. It scared Jimin just how badly he craved that, the connection, to feel something again.

“I… I guess,” he finally admitted, his shoulders slumping from the confession. 

He looked like he was deflating, the tension falling off his body once he finally let it out that yes, he was so lonely. He watched your reaction, embarrassed that you’d seen this side of him. He didn’t want to be vulnerable in front of anyone, didn’t want to give them the chance to use him again. But you just smiled sympathetically.  You didn’t push or pry.

Instead, you pivoted. “Are you hungry? I kind of want some ramen. Come with me to the store?” you offered.

Jimin eyed you warily, but nodded, falling in step beside you as you walked along the bridge, the only sounds you could hear were the soft rippling of the waves below and the sounds of the cars rushing past. Jimin was quiet beside you, looking like he was lost in thought. He wasn’t paying attention to where he was stepping, and tripped over a loose brick on the sidewalk.

You saw the headlights of the oncoming car nearing closer as Jimin tumbled into the road, your heart beating out of your chest in bone-chilling fear. You jumped into the street and grabbed Jimin’s hand. You jumped back and yanked him onto the sidewalk mere fractions of a second before the car zoomed past where your bodies had just been, horn blaring obnoxiously. Jimin’s body crashed into yours, sending you off balance and splaying against the sidewalk.

You groaned at his weight being flung on top of you when you crashed into the hard cement sidewalk. Jimin propped himself up on his arms, body still flush against yours as he searched your face, eyes wide.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt? What the hell were you thinking?! You could’ve been killed!” he scolded, eyes roaming over your face and arms for any injuries. 

“So could you! I couldn’t just sit back and watch you get run over!” you defended. 

“So you risked your life for someone you barely know?!” he hissed, with no real bite to his words. 

Worry and guilt were swimming in his gaze as it met yours. You softened, reaching up to caress his hair gently in an attempt to soothe him and get him to focus on you and your next words.

“Hey, we’re both fine. Everything’s okay,” you smiled.

“I’ve never met anyone like you before,” he said more to himself than you, “What even are you?”

“Still hungry,” you giggled playfully, trying to ease the tension surrounding the two of you.

Jimin rolled his eyes but finally, a smile graced his pretty lips. You both seemed to notice your positions at the same time, your cheeks lighting up and the tips of his ears turning red. He scrambled off of you, holding out a hand to pull you to your feet. You both avoided eye contact and he let out an awkward cough, scratching the back of his neck.

“Let’s go get ramen then,” he smiled shyly, motioning for you to go ahead of him.

You walked together in silence, Jimin being much more careful about where he was stepping while you made your way to the convenience store at the edge of the university. Entering and nodding to the cashier on duty, you both made your way over to the ramen. You reached out to grab a bowl, and a gasp left Jimin’s lips.

“You’re bleeding!” he grabbed your arm, examining the scrape on your elbow.

“Oh, whoops,” you shrugged. 

Jimin went to the cashier and requested the first aid kit, then guided you to a seat and gently took your arm, cleaning the cut with an antiseptic wipe. You hissed at the burn, and he apologized, leaning down to blow air on the wound. You watched in awe at the way his lips looked, plump and soft and delicious. You shivered as the cool air hit your skin, soothing the burn from the antiseptic wipe. Jimin smiled up at you.

“Better?” he asked.

Not trusting your voice, you simply nodded. He took the bandage and placed it over your wound, smoothing it out with a gentle brush of his fingers. 

“There. All better. Let's eat!” he chirped, pushing off his knees to stand.

You both picked out some ramen and drinks, using the water dispenser to add hot water to the dry noodles. Jimin reached for his wallet to pay for you both reflexively. You didn’t put yours on the counter and he looked at you in confusion.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Uhhh… waiting my turn?”

“What do you mean? It’s our turn.”

“It’s your turn. I’ll pay for mine when you’re done,” you shrugged.

Jimin looked shocked and confused, and the cashier looked impatient. You nodded towards the counter and Jimin paid, watching you curiously as you completed your transaction with a smile on your face and thanked the cashier. Jimin held the door for you and you both walked to a nearby park, sitting on the bench to eat. 

You ate and talked and joked and laughed. You both just enjoyed being in each other’s presence, able to let loose and not feel judged. You watched Jimin’s eyes begin to shine for the first time since you’d met him, and your heart swelled with joy. You’d finished eating long ago but neither of you wanted to leave, so you stood up.

“I’ve been practicing, you know.” You wiggled your eyebrows.

“Practicing?” he echoed.

“Dancing. I’ve been practicing what you showed me. Not to toot my own horn, but I’ve gotten pretty decent,” you grinned playfully.

“Show me what you’ve got,” Jimin smirked, leaning back into the bench with his hands folded behind his head, his shirt riding up and displaying his mouth-watering abs, along with the small trail of hair that dipped down underneath his waistband.

You stood with your feet shoulder width apart, just like Jimin had taught you, and started shaking your hips like you’d seen him do that night at the party, giving your best impression of his dance routine for the first minute or two. Then, you grinned at him as he opened his mouth to praise you, before you started doing the chicken dance.

Jimin’s laughter rang through the air and he started dancing with you, both of you making fools of yourselves, your only audience each other and the moon that shone brightly in the sky, illuminating Jimin’s face, highlighting his ethereal beauty. The two of you danced and laughed for a while, before falling onto the bench in a fit of giggles. 

Finally deciding it was time to go, Jimin insisted on walking you home, saying it wasn’t safe for you to be alone that late at night. You agreed, not because you weren’t capable of keeping yourself safe, but simply to stay with him for a little longer. You tossed your food containers in the trash as you left the park. His hand brushed against yours a few times as you walked, talking animatedly about anything and everything, and you figured it was just an accident soyou didn’t think too much of it.

Disappointment washed over you as you walked up to your dorm building and you sighed, scuffing the ground with your foot in an attempt to stall. Jimin made no move to leave either, both of you waiting in silence for the other to say something. Suddenly, you felt warmth surround your frame as Jimin wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a tight embrace.

“Thank you for tonight. This is the most fun I’ve had in a really long time,” he whispered into your ear, almost like a secret he didn’t want anyone else to hear, though you were alone.

“Me too, Jimin. Thank you for coming with me, and walking me home,” you smiled, returning his hug and placing your head on his shoulder.

You weren’t sure how long hugs between stranger-friends were supposed to last, but you weren’t going to pull away first, not when you felt so warm, so safe, so comfortable. Your heart was racing but your whole body went pliant at his touch, any tension you’d been holding melting away as you melted into him.

Jimin pulled away first, leaving a chaste kiss to your cheek before turning around and walking off, shouting “goodnight Y/N!” over his shoulder as he left. You missed the way the tips of his ears turned pink, and he missed how your whole face turned red. You couldn’t wipe the smile off your face as you crawled into bed that night, your dreams filled with bright brown eyes shining in the moonlight, and a little bit of hope.

                                                        -♡-

After the night on the bridge, you and Jimin began hanging out. He’d wait for you outside the lecture hall and walk you home some days. Others, you’d show up with his favorite coffee and snack in hand before his (regrettably chosen) 8am class. Jimin was different around you, lighter. 

Because he was Jimin, people noticed. Eyes trailed after the two of you everywhere you went, whether you were together or not. Rumors spread, saying that you were using him to gain recognition, saying that he’d knocked you up and been forced to date you, saying that you’d blackmailed him or something. Neither of you paid attention to the prying eyes that seemed to dissect your every move, you were too caught up in each other.

You made Jimin feel like a better person, and Jimin made you feel safe and giddy. But there was no denying the massive crush you’d formed on the poor guy. You did your best to hide it, trying not to make him uncomfortable. You’d told him all you wanted was friendship, you weren’t about to make a liar out of yourself and get rejected, losing your new friend over something so silly as your unyielding yearning for him.

You really tried not to let your eyes linger on him for too long when he walked unaware beside you, humming the newest song he was practicing for dance class. You tried not to let your touches last longer than socially acceptable for friends, despite the way your entire body seemed to light up with electricity every time his skin met yours. You tried not to stare longingly at his lips as he told you a story about his childhood or a class he’d taken the day before.

You tried not to fall in love with him.

You tried not to fall in love with the way his eyes formed crescent moons when he smiled, his real smile. The one he used in your presence, not the one he plastered on for the rest of the world to see. You tried not to fall in love with the sound of his voice calling your name, or the way he’d mindlessly sing quietly to himself while doing mundane tasks. You tried not to fall in love with the way he’d already be looking at you when you glanced up to check on him, with the way he’d shoot you a goofy face.

You tried not to fall in love with the way he held you close, the way every hug was just a little too long, the way he’d hold open doors for you or fix your collar, or the way he seemed to be able to make you forget about the rest of the world. You tried not to fall in love with how strong he was, both physically and emotionally, how he’d let you in and trusted you. 

But Jimin was a force of nature, somehow terrifying and comforting at the same time. He showed your heart no mercy, consistently proving himself to you over and over and making you fall harder and harder. How were you not supposed to fall head over heels for Jimin? A few weeks into your friendship and you were ready to throw caution to the wind and marry the man. Or maybe you were a little dramatic, but still. You felt so deeply for him you almost couldn’t stomach it.

Jimin seemed to bounce as he walked in front of you, using his ridiculous amount of coordination to walk backwards so he could face you as he spoke. You giggled at his behavior, keeping an eye out to make sure he didn’t run into anything or anyone. He wove around the crowd gracefully, looking back every so often, but you still watched out for him. Just in case. 

“So then the professor woke the kid up by slamming a book on his desk, I kinda felt bad for him, to be honest. But it was really funny. The kid wasn’t too bothered by it, he laughed with everyone else, and apologized for falling asleep. I don’t blame him though. I nearly lost it when he went into the section on Pavlov,” Jimin recounted, rolling his eyes.

“Poor guy!” you laughed.

“I know, so embarrassing.” he cringed.

“Yo, Jimin!” came from somewhere in the crowd, and Jimin’s easygoing expression immediately morphed into a hardened one. 

You turned to see Hoseok and Hana jogging to catch up with the two of you. Ever since they’d started dating, you’d seen Hana less and less. You didn’t mind much, as your time was mostly filled with Jimin. Hana’s hair had gotten longer and she’d dyed it a light shade of pink. It suited her.

“Hey Hana, I like your new hair,” you smiled.

“Thanks, girl! I haven’t seen you in forever!” she grabbed you, pulling you into a tight hug which you returned, shooting an uncomfortable look towards Jimin.

His attention was on Hoseok though. He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes, and you didn’t like it when Jimin’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. It looked unnatural, wrong. Happiness belonged on Jimin. Hoseok was sweet, he was funny and lively and courteous, you had nothing against him. But you wished he would leave so Jimin would go back to normal. Unguarded. 

“Jimin, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for a couple days man. I really need your help. Are you busy? The girls can grab coffee or something and we can swing by the shop?” Hoseok begged. 

“Ooh that sounds so fun! We haven’t hung out in forever! Please, Y/N?” Hana begged, pulling on your shirt sleeve.

You shot a look over to Jimin, gauging his feelings on the situation, but you couldn’t read him. His face was stoic and you couldn’t see his eyes. He shrugged, following Hoseok across the street.  Hana pulled on your arm, directing you to a nearby coffee shop and grabbing a table in the corner by the window. 

“You still like the hot chocolate here the best?” Hana asked, standing up to order. 

You moved to follow but she waved you off, placing your order for you and handing it over once it was ready.

“Thank you.” you smiled, “How much was it? I’ll venmo you.” 

“Don’t worry it was only like two bucks,” Hana shrugged. “Hobi’s been paying for everything lately, hasn’t asked me to chip in a dime! So I’ve saved up a bit.” 

“Oh wow,” you laughed.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever! Do you remember when we used to come here like every day to do our homework and people watch?” Hana giggled.

“Yeah, it seems so long ago.” you agreed, grinning at the memory.

“Ugh, I still had that poofy curly hairdo and you wore those high school musical shirts all the time? When was that, like 8th grade?” she cringed.

“Freshman year of high school, I think. We met in high school.” you laughed. “Why did your mom let you leave the house like that?” 

“Girl I don’t know!” she groaned, “why did yours?” 

“I guess she wanted me to express myself,” you shrugged with a giggle.

“Express yourself right out of any chance to be popular,” Hana remarked sarcastically, throwing in a playful smirk.

“Hey, I don’t need to be popular. I just need a few good people around me,” you shrugged. 

“Hmmm… So, how’s Jimin?” she asked, glancing away and not meeting your eyes.

“He’s good. We were just on our way back to my dorm to watch a movie when we ran into you guys,” you explained.

“A little netflix and chill?” she laughed, but her eyes zeroed in on you.

“No,” you shook your head, “just a movie.”

Hana sighed, placing her coffee on the table and looked you in the eyes.

“YN, I’m worried about you. Someone like you shouldn’t be hanging out with someone like Jimin. When I invited you to that party, I just wanted you to get out more, not start messing around with someone like him.” Hana explained, attempting to keep her voice soft.

“What do you mean ‘someone like him’?” you asked harshly.

“You’ve heard what people are saying right? They’re spreading rumors about you because you’re hanging out with him. He’s bad news, YN. He only sleeps with girls to get what he wants. I know you’re a hopeless romantic but I can guarantee he doesn’t love you, no matter what he’s telling you.” she sighed.

“You can’t be serious.” you laughed incredulously. 

“YN, I’m just looking out for you. Jimin is-” she began but you stood and cut her off.

“Jimin is kind. Jimin is funny, smart, sweet and loyal. Jimin doesn’t talk shit about people behind their backs. Jimin doesn’t pretend to care just so he can cause trouble. Jimin doesn’t judge people based on rumors. You don’t know anything about him, Hana. You never cared enough to. No one has! You all think he’s some souless succubus who only uses sex to get what he wants, but you’re wrong. You don’t know him at all. Jimin is wonderful and I will hang out with him as much as I damn well want to because you know what? He makes me happy. So you and anyone else who has a problem with that can fuck off,” you seethed, slamming five dollars down on the table to pay her for your drink, not wanting to owe her anything, “Keep the change.”

You stomped away from the table, finally looking up from Hana’s speechless, shocked expression to find Jimin and Hoseok staring at you in mirroring astonishment. You froze for a split second, but in your rage, trudged forward, grabbing Jimin’s hand and pulling him towards the exit.

“Let’s go.” you grumbled, and he allowed you to pull him out of the exit and begin walking down the street, leaving Hoseok and Hana in stunned silence.

You didn’t let go of Jimin’s hand and he didn’t make a move to pull away as you walked silently to your dorm, your anger slowly going from a boiling rage to a simmer. You opened and shut the door with a little more force than necessary and flung the dvd cabinet open with a little too much emphasis. Jimin watched you curiously, letting you have your space and set up the movie before you crawled into your bed next to where he was waiting. 

You laid your head on his shoulder, needing the extra comfort of having him close after your emotional meltdown at the coffee shop. You sighed, letting the tension roll out of your body that you’d stored up from the encounter. Jimin wrapped an arm around you, giving you a gentle squeeze.

“You want to talk about it?” he asked quietly, eyes still on the opening credits of the movie.

“No,” you pouted.

“Are you sure?” he pressed, gaze shifting to you.

You sighed and sat up, turning to face him and pausing the movie.

“How much did you hear?”

“Hoseok and I walked in right about where you asked Hana what she meant by someone like me,” he explained.

“Oh,” you flushed, looking away from him. “I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

Jimin sighed, turning your shoulders so you’d face him and you gazed up into his eyes as he focused on you.

“Hey, it’s okay. I know what people think about me. I don’t care about their opinion. I care about yours, and maybe Hoseok’s. Sometimes,” he explained with a chuckle.

“I guess…” you trailed off.

“Thank you,” he spoke suddenly, softly.

“For what?” you wondered.

“For sticking up for me. For believing in me. For having my back,” he told you, his eyes swimming in an emotion you couldn’t place.

“Of course. I meant everything I said. You’re an amazing person and if people would just take a second look and get to know you, look past the wall you put up, they’d think so too.”

Jimin pulled you into his arms, encompassing you in his warmth and comfort, seeming to hold you together when you felt like you were shaking into pieces from the intensity of how strongly you felt for him. You relaxed in his hold, allowing the warmth of his body against yours to soothe your nerves.

“You’re my best friend,” he whispered into your ear, barely audible.

“You’re my best friend too,” you whispered back, hugging him just a little tighter.

Jimin smiled against your neck where he’d rested his head, and you hoped he couldn’t feel how loudly your heart was beating from feeling his lips against your skin, though he probably didn’t mean to do that. You pulled apart and snuggled into the covers to watch the movie, finally completing the task you’d set out to do since mid-afternoon.

Once the credits rolled, you were tucked into Jimin’s arms, drifting in and out of consciousness. Jimin glanced at the clock and sighed.

“I don’t want to leave but it’s getting late,” he looked down at your face.

“Nooo.. don’t go. You’re so comfy,” you whined.

“Are you calling me fat?” he huffed playfully.

“Oh hush,” you giggled, but looked up at him, biting your lip nervously.

“Can you just… stay? Just for tonight? If you want to, that is…” you looked down at your hands.

“You’re not worried someone will see me leave in the morning and start more rumors?” he wondered.

“I don’t care if you don’t,” you shrugged, meeting his eyes once more.

“Scooch over then,” he grinned and you giggled triumphantly, scooting over to one side of the bed so Jimin could slot himself between you and the wall.

He wrapped an arm around your middle, pulling you against his chest and sighed contentedly. You snuggled just a little closer, mumbling something about the chilly air in the dorm, but really you just loved being close to Jimin. Butterflies swirled in your stomach, and you listened to Jimin’s breathing begin to even out as he fell asleep. You followed not long after. Wrapped in the safety and comfort of Jimin, you swore it was the best night's sleep you’d ever had.

                                                        -♡-

The second Jimin had exited your dorm that morning, there were about 50 pictures of the incident flooding social media, rumors flying rampant about your night spent together. Every other comment was about how you’d turned into a whore or Jimin was just playing with you or you had to have something on him. You ignored them all. People could think whatever they wanted, but you knew you hadn’t done anything wrong.

On the contrary, waking up beside Jimin had felt so, so right. You’d somehow shifted in the night, both of you seeking out each other’s warmth and you’d woken up face-to-face, your noses almost touching. You’d opened your eyes to find Jimin opening his and you both smiled at each other, giggling nervously as you broke apart. 

Jimin had gone home to freshen up, seeing as your impromptu sleepover left him without a change of clothes or a toothbrush. You hadn’t heard anything from him since he left, and you were starting to wonder if he regretted staying, if he felt uncomfortable now. Your nerves were eating you up and after your fight with Hana, you didn’t really know who you could talk to about it. You sighed, flipping through a textbook while being unable to concentrate on anything you were reading.

A few hours went by and you were starting to lose your mind from the lack of communication and the anxiety it caused. You picked up your phone to distract yourself with something when a text from Jimin came through. You sighed in relief, opening the message.

Jimin [5:54pm]: The guys at the frat house say I’ve been boring lately and I’m not allowed to skip tonight’s party. Come with me?

Did he mean come with him as in… be his date? Surely not. Right? Your heart hammered in your chest. Sure, people had seen you and Jimin around together a lot, but it was another thing entirely to go to a party together. That was basically announcing that you were dating. Maybe he didn’t see it that way? Maybe he just wanted to bring his friend to the party?

You [5:59pm]: Sure. Meet you there?

Jimin [6:04pm]: Starts at 10. :)

You texted a little back and forth in the next few hours, then you got ready for the party andmade your way over to the frat house, wondering what kind of fresh hell this party would bring. Though, you couldn’t say all parties were bad. You had met Jimin at one of these. That had turned out to be the greatest thing you’d ever done.

You were filled with a sense of nostalgia walking up to the familiar front door and entering into the foyer, greeted with booming music and some cheering from the corner where someone was doing a keg upside down. You were startled by an arm wrapping around your shoulder, pulling you into a warm body.

“Y/N! Nice to see you again,” Hoseok grinned, leading you towards the kitchen.

“Hey Hoseok,” you smiled, a little confused.

“Jimin and I were about to play beer pong with Tae, we need a 4th player,” he grinned.

“Oh okay,” you smiled, walking with a little more confidence.

“Y/N!” Jimin grinned, walking over and wrapping you in a hug, “I’m glad you came. You’re on my team, ok?”

“Sounds good,” you grinned.

“Y/N, this is Taehyung, you’ve already met Hoseok. Tae, this is Y/N,” Jimin introduced.

“Nice to meet you,” Taehyung grinned a boxy smile, enthusiastically waving to you from his end of the island. “Sorry we’re about to kick your ass,” he added with an evil chuckle.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” you giggled.

“Have you played before?” Jimin wondered.

“A few times, not at a big party like this but I’ve practiced,” you mimicked brushing off your shoulders and Jimin let out a hearty laugh.

“Alright, a seasoned pro!” Hoseok chimed in excitedly.

“Is Hana not here?” you asked quietly to Jimin.

“I haven’t seen her, no,” he shrugged.

“Did they break up?”

“I doubt it, but I don’t know.” he answered.

“Alright, ladies! Let's go!” Taehyung shouted enthusiastically.

Hoseok took the first shot, landing it perfectly in a cup on your side of the table, and Jimin took the first swig, downing the cup. Hoseok shot again, missing by a mile. Jimin laughed before tossing his ball across the table, expertly landing it in one of the opposing team’s. Hoseok pouted but drank anyway. Jimin tried again, landing another. You clapped and hooted for him. Jimin got three cups before he missed.

Taehyung got two cups, and you drank both before he grazed the edge of the third, but the ball didn’t go in. You started shooting and got two cups before someone jostled you on your third throw, causing you to miss the entire table. You shot a glare to the offending stranger, who apologized profusely. You sighed.

“Minho is clumsy but he’s sweet. Don’t be too hard on him. He might actually like it. Kinky bastard.” Jimin winked at you playfully.

You choked on your next breath, giggling at his words. Neither team scored anything for a while, too busy trash-talking each other and cracking jokes to concentrate on the game. Jimin’s full smile had yet to appear, but he did seem more relaxed in your presence, so you took it as a win. He wasn’t quite himself, putting on more of a show than usual, but you decided to let it go since he seemed like he was having a good time. Surprisingly, you were too. 

Taehyung was sweet and funny. He was easy to talk to and super charming. Hoseok was a ball of sunshine and energy, and they both seemed to accept you as part of their little group with no effort at all. You were Jimin’s friend, and therefore you were their friend by association. You wondered if these were people Jimin could be honest with, they seemed really genuine, but you knew how guarded he was so you weren’t about to bring it up. They were fun to be around, and that was enough for now.

The night raged on, and your team ended up winning beer pong. You’d both gained a pleasant buzz from the game but Taehyung and Hoseok were absolutely trashed. Jimin explained that they might’ve pregamed a little too hard before the party, so the added beers from their crushing defeat sent them over the edge into utterly intoxicated. They were currently clutching onto each other and singing a very off key rendition of a song you didn’t even recognize.

“Hey, where’s the bathroom?” you asked.

“Just down that hall,” Jimin pointed, and you smiled at him before making your way there.

You quickly did your business and washed your hands, checking your appearance in the mirror and smiling to yourself about how well the night was going. Everything was perfect and after last night with Jimin, he seemed more… into you? Less platonic. Or maybe your mind was playing tricks on you. Either way, you were hopeful that maybe Jimin felt the same way you did.

That was, until you walked out of the bathroom and saw him pushed up against the wall with some girl’s tongue down his throat. 

You felt like the room was spinning. Your heart shattered and you found it difficult to get air into your lungs as you stood frozen in shock, eyes glued to the pair like a car wreck. You just couldn’t look away. It felt like years, but lasted only a second before Jimin’s eyes opened and he spotted you. He pushed the girl off of him, taking a step toward you, but you made a beeline for the door.

You weaved your way through the crowd as fast as you could, ignoring Taehyung who gleefully called out for you to join him in karaoke. You begged any entity that was listening to let you hold your tears in until there were no witnesses, focusing solely on getting your feet to move faster and holding your emotions at bay. You heard Jimin calling your name but you only moved faster, sprinting out of the open door and down the empty road.

How could you have been so stupid? Of course he didn’t like you. You were just the first person to show him, real, unconditional friendship. That’s all his affection was. Platonic. He didn’t want you. How could he? That girl looked like a supermodel. Of course she was more his type. How could you even think he would ever want someone like you? Because he spent one night with his arms wrapped around you and brought you to a party in front of his friends? Ugh.

“Y/N! Wait!” Jimin called, and you could hear his footsteps growing closer. 

Damn him and his dancer’s stamina.

You wiped any stray tears from your eyes and did your best to plaster on a smile as you turned around to face him, you couldn’t outrun him. You might as well act normal and pretend everything was fine. Jimin slowed to a stop in front of you, panting a little.

“Where are you going?” he asked breathlessly.

“Oh, uh. I’m going home,” you grimaced as your voice cracked.

“Y/N, it wasn’t what it looked like,” Jimin began.

“Oh Jimin, it’s fine,” you brushed him off, using every bit of your willpower to make yourself seem believable. “You can do whatever or whoever you want. It’s not like I own you.”

“I saw the look on your face, Y/N, I-” Jimin tried but you shook your head.

“No it’s fine. I should’ve known you’d want to have some fun tonight. You’re not obligated to babysit me just because you invited me,” you cut him off.

“But I-” he tried again, scratching his arm in frustration.

“Go back to the party, that girl is probably waiting,” you smiled, moving to turn around.

“Would you just fucking listen to me?!” he shouted, making you freeze in your tracks. 

Your eyes flickered up to meet his in shock, mouth hanging slightly ajar. Despite him being covered in tattoos and piercings, you’d never heard Jimin raise his voice or be threatening in any way. His sudden outburst caused your heart to flutter in your chest, both with astonishment and a little bit of arousal.

“She just came up and started talking to me, and she asked me to fuck, but I said no. She kissed me out of nowhere and I froze. As soon as I saw you I knew I fucked up. I pushed her off and told her to get lost. I don’t want her, Y/N. I don’t want any of them,” he nearly growled in frustration, running a hand through his messy hair. “I don’t want anyone else. I want you.”

Your heart stopped beating entirely. 

“I was scared to tell you because I didn’t want to scare you off. You said all you wanted was friendship and I didn’t want to push you away. You’re my best friend. You’re the only one who really sees me, the only one who really cares. You make me a better man. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Everyone leaves but I can’t lose you. Not you. I… I love you. I’m in love with you,” he sighed, taking a step closer and gauging your reaction.

“You… do?” you whispered, scared that if you spoke too loudly he’d vanish and you’d wake up from this dream.

“I love you,” he repeated, placing his hands on your shoulders and running them down your arms to interlock your fingers.

“I love you too,” you choked out, your tears running freely now. “Jimin I love you so much it hurts.”

Jimin lifted one hand to cup your cheek, his eyes full of love and adoration and contentment. His gaze flickered down to your lips then back up to your eyes. You nodded, just barely, and he leaned in. Finally, after months of daydreaming about this very moment, Jimin’s soft, plush lips pressed against your own. Time seemed to stop, and everything faded away but Jimin and the way he kissed you. 

His kiss was gentle, but held so much passion. All the words he couldn’t say, or didn’t know how to, he flooded them all into the way he kissed you, wrapping his arms around you and bringing you closer as he worked his mouth against your own. Kissing Jimin felt like coming home, like the first breath of air after being caught in a current and forced underwater until your breaking point. It felt right. 

Jimin’s tongue danced along your bottom lip, and you opened your mouth, allowing him entrance. His tongue explored your mouth, sliding along yours and it felt more like a loving caress than horny college kids making out. Deepening the kiss had lit something inside you and you pressed even closer to him, pouring all your love and longing into the actions between your lips.  

Pulling away only when your lungs began screaming for air, Jimin rested his forehead against your own, his breaths coming out labored. His eyes searched yours and a slow smile spread across his reddened lips.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he admitted breathlessly.

“Me too,” you giggled, hiding your face in the crook of his neck as the blush crept into your cheeks.

Jimin laughed and held you tight against him, rubbing soothing circles against your back. You both stayed like that, in the middle of the road, the only light being the stars and the moon, but you didn’t care. All that mattered was that Jimin loved you. Jimin loved you! And he wanted you. And you were safe in his arms. 

“Let’s get you home, yeah?” Jimin smiled, pulling back to look at your face.

You nodded, slipping your hand into his and walking beside him. Your whole chest felt like it was going to explode. You were elated. You were shocked and excited and so, so happy. You giggled to yourself, hiding your face with your free hand as Jimin walked you home.

“What’s so funny?” he chuckled.

“I can’t believe this is real, I’m so happy,” you admitted, biting your lip nervously and shooting a curious glance his way to watch his reaction.

Jimin smiled softly, pulling you closer to leave a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“Me too baby. Me too,” he said softly.

Jimin walked you home and you both crawled into your bed. Jimin wrapped you up in his arms and held you close. You felt like you were in heaven. You ran your fingers through Jimin’s hair, then trailed them down his arm, tracing his tattoos with the tips of your fingers. Jimin smiled, rubbing shapes and doodles into the skin of your back where your shirt had ridden up. 

His gentle caresses were soothing, and after the ultra emotional day you’d had, you were pretty drained. You drifted in and out of consciousness, shifting closer to Jimin and he grinned, holding you against his frame and leaving gentle pecks on your neck, your ear, wherever he could reach. You giggled.

“I’m so glad you’re finally mine,” he whispered into the chilly air of your room.

“I’ve been yours, Jimin. From the moment I met you,” you admitted sheepishly.

“I might not have known it yet, but I was yours too,” he smiled, kissing your cheek. “Now go to sleep.”

So you did.

                                                        -♡-

About a week later, the rumors were still running rampant about you and Jimin after you’d both made it official on social media, and were now spotted sharing sweet kisses and tender touches in public rather than just being together. You’d received a fair amount of messages and evil looks, girls upset that you’d taken Jimin off the market and now his skills were “going to waste.” You’d just roll your eyes and hit the block button.

You had been wondering about those skills more and more recently. Once you and Jimin had started dating, he had seemingly become allergic to wearing shirts. Prancing around your dorm room with his toned body on display, delicious ink decorating the surface of his ivory skin… you were frequently having thoughts that weren’t exactly PG. But Jimin hadn’t brought up sexual activity, and neither had you.

You felt like you could cut the sexual tension with a knife some days, but didn’t want to push Jimin into anything, not when you knew that he’d used sex as a way to push people away in the past. You knew you were overthinking, and should probably just talk to him, but you were nervous. But oh goodness did you want him. You’d wanted him from the moment you’d laid eyes on him, and rejecting his proposition that first night had been harder than you’d thought.

Now it seemed like every time you looked at Jimin, it became harder to hold back. Knowing that he knew you loved him now, and that he loved you too gave you that level of comfort you needed to be able to finally take the plunge with him. You wanted him to plunge into you. All. Night. Long. 

You shook your head to rid yourself of the dirty thoughts you were having just as Jimin climbed in bed beside you, snuggling up to your frame and pulling you against him. You smiled and ran your fingers over the tattoos on his arms, tracing the designs with the tips of your fingers as lightly as you could. Jimin liked that you were always touching him. Running your fingers through his hair, tracing his tattoos, or just resting your palm against his chest. It didn’t matter as long as you were touching him, he was content. 

He shifted, laying on his back with one arm tucked behind his head, allowing you to rest your head on his chest and trace the tattoos that littered the skin there as well. Jimin closed his eyes and focused on the sound of your even breathing and the feeling of your fingers gently brushing against his skin. He shivered a time or two, and you snuggled closer, assuming he was cold. Unable to rid yourself of the lingering dampness between your thighs, you let your fingers gently graze across Jimin’s pierced nipple.

Jimin sucked in a breath and bit back a low moan, but you heard his chest rumble with the action. You bit your lip and mumbled a quiet, insincere apology. You traced the tattoos along his collar bone for a while before your fingers daringly dipped down, brushing the other exposed nipple, which had Jimin tensing below you and letting out a quiet whine.

“Are you doing that on purpose?” he accused, focusing his gaze on you.

“Noooo…” you trailed off, looking up at him with faux innocence.

“I’m trying really hard to be good right now, baby girl,” he breathed out, almost as if he was in pain. 

“What if… I don’t want you to be?” you whispered seductively, letting your hand trail down his abdomen teasingly.

Jimin’s muscles clenched at the movement, and you noticed there was a sizable tent in his sweatpants. Your mouth watered at the sight. He was clearly working with some nice equipment. Jimin shifted so he could put his full attention on you, his eyes searching yours.

“Are you sure? I know you said you were waiting, are you really ready for this?” he asked, concern and a little bit of hope written all over his face.

“I’m sure. I love you, Jimin. I want you,” you smiled reassuringly, leaning in to place a kiss to his gorgeous, soft lips.

Jimin brought his hand up to cup your cheek, working those plush lips of his against your own. The two of you had made out before, but this felt different. You were filled with anticipation and need. You pressed yourself closer to him, and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, his tongue sliding gracefully along your bottom lip, which you immediately parted for him.

His deft muscle slipped inside your mouth, rolling against yours skillfully. His hand dropped from your cheek and snaked up your side, sneaking under your shirt and grazing along your stomach until he reached your breast, kneading it underneath your flimsy bralette. His thumb brushed against your nipple and your body jolted towards him, seeking more. 

“Mmm… so responsive.” he whispered against your lips with a teasing smirk. 

You furrowed your eyebrows, then let your nail scrape gently along his pierced nipple, tugging ever so gently on the metal ring. Jimin moaned into your mouth, his body arching towards yours. You smirked against his lips.

“So responsive.” you giggled.

Jimin chuckled, pulling back to look at you with a raised eyebrow, the light reflecting off the piercing there as well. His cocky look was gasoline on the fire of your arousal, and you made yourself busy by kissing down his exposed neck, leaving a trail of red and purple bruises in your wake.  Jimin’s low moans were music to your ears. You wanted to elicit more of the beautiful sounds from the irresistible man who had become putty in your hands.

Urging him onto his back, you straddled his hips and ground your covered core down against his clothed erection for a little relief, causing Jimin to let out more delicious noises. You kissed down his chest, bringing his nipple piercing into your mouth and licking around the sensitive area before tugging it gently with your teeth, scraping the flesh just a bit in the process. Jimin’s hips bucked up into yours at the action.

Your fingers teasingly dipped below the elastic of his sweats, running back and forth along the edge while you worked your mouth against each nipple. Jimin’s hands found purchase on your hips, his nails digging in just a bit so he had something to ground himself while you teased him. Your hand slipped underneath his sweats, surprised to find he’d foregone boxers. Your fingers brushed against his rigid length, and he tensed, gripping your hips harder.

“Don’t tease,” he groaned, head lolling back as he tried to restrain himself.

You giggled, wrapping your hand around his length and slowly dragging it upwards, letting your thumb circle the tip. You used the precum that spilled out to lubricate your next journey down. Jimin groaned, finally losing patience and effortlessly flipped the two of you over until he was hovering above you. He smirked at the surprised expression on your face and began leaving pretty red marks all over your neck and the exposed portion of your chest.

He sat up momentarily, pinning you with a hungry gaze and fiddling with the hem of your shirt.

“Off,” he commanded.

You immediately complied, peeling the fabric off your body and tossing it away, revealing your lacy bralette. Jimin’s eyes roamed over your chest and he licked his lips before leaning down and letting his tongue draw a stripe over the thin fabric covering your nipple, already erect and sensitive. Soft whimpers escaped your lips. It felt good, but you needed more.

Jimin’s lips traveled farther down your body, leaving marks all over your skin. He licked and sucked and nibbled in places you never would’ve considered erogenous zones before, but honestly, maybe it was just because it was Jimin. His tongue danced along the hem of your shorts teasingly before he glanced up at you to make sure you were still okay. You nodded breathlessly.

Jimin peeled your shorts down to expose your black satin panties, and you wished you’d worn the lace ones but it could’ve been worse. He brought the little bow tie between his teeth, tugging and letting it snap back against your pelvis. You jumped a bit and Jimin chuckled, mumbling “so cute” under his breath before slipping your soaked panties down your legs and tossing them aside.

“Damn baby girl, you’re dripping,” he grinned triumphantly. “What got you all worked up like this?”

“Jimin,”  you whined impatiently.

“That’s right baby, say my name,” he teased (although he wasn’t really joking), but didn’t waste much more time, lowering his face and licking a bold stripe along your folds to distract you while he snuck a finger closer to your entrance, letting your arousal aid him in entering you. His tongue drew some sort of lost language on your clit with expertise, and it was almost impossible for you to hold still with the amount of pleasure coursing through your veins.

Your hips bucked up and Jimin moved a hand to splay along your lower stomach, holding you down onto the bed while he devoured your pussy, slowly adding a second and third finger to stretch you out. It burned for a moment before you got used to it, Jimin’s fingers gliding along your walls and hitting your g-spot repeatedly. Even for your first time together, he knew your body like the back of his hand.

 You could already feel the coil deep inside you threaten to snap at Jimin’s ministrations. You were a moaning mess, babbling his name like it was the only word you knew. His plump lips wrapped around your throbbing bundle and he sucked- hard. You groaned, back arching off the bed as your orgasm crashed over you, your vision going spotty. Now you knew why they said he could make you see stars.

Your body fell lax against the mattress as you panted, before pushing yourself up on your elbows to see Jimin’s face lift from your core. He met your eyes and seductively licked your juices off his lips, closing his eyes and savoring the taste of you. Your mouth went dry at how erotic he looked, and he climbed up your body, pressing his lips to yours and allowing you to taste yourself. 

Your mouths worked against each other, and you wound your fingers in his hair, tugging gently on his soft locks, causing him to let out a low whine. 

“Do that again,” he begged against your lips, his voice deeper and a little hoarse, but needy.

You wound your fingers in his hair, gripping it tighter and tugging again. Jimin let out a strangled moan, grinding his rock hard member against your core. Your body shivered at the feeling of his clothed shaft pressing up against where you needed him the most.  

“Jimin, please,” you sighed, bucking your hips up to meet his.

“Okay baby. Oh fuck. Please tell me I still have a spare condom,” he suddenly groaned, reaching over for his wallet on your nightstand. 

You watched him curiously, your eyes lingering on the curve of his plump ass under his sweats. You licked your lips, wanting to bite into the flesh. You’d save that for another time. Jimin let out a triumphant noise and held the condom in the air like a first place medal. You giggled at your boyfriend and rolled your eyes with a smile. 

Jimin slid his sweats off in one smooth motion, kicking them away and onto the floor somewhere before ripping the condom open with his teeth and rolling it onto his length. Jimin paused,  peering at you from his place above you, a small smile curling onto his plush lips, his eyes alight with adoration.

“I love you,” he whispered, intertwining his fingers with yours.

“I love you too,” you sighed happily. 

“Are you ready?” he asked, squeezing your hand gently.

“Yes. I’m ready.”

Jimin leaned down, meeting your lips in a soft kiss, and slowly slid his rigid length into your honeyed entrance. You gasped into his mouth at the welcome intrusion, his cock stretching you in the most delicious way. Even with the prep from his fingers, his cock stretching your walls burned just slightly. Jimin deepened the kiss in an attempt to distract you from the discomfort, slowly inching more of his length inside until he bottomed out, his hips flush against yours.

Jimin fit inside you perfectly, his thick cock filling you up like he was made for you. He pulled back to look at your face, and you shot him a reassuring smile. He brought your joined hands up to his lips, placing them gently on the back of your wrist, and once you nodded your approval, he slid out until just the bulbous tip was left inside, before sliding back in, setting a slow, torturing pace.

This wasn’t your first rodeo, though you were nowhere near as experienced as Jimin, but no one had ever felt this good inside you. No one had ever felt this right. Jimin reached places inside you that no man had before and you were already falling apart at the movement of his hips. Jimin was definitely a dancer, able to move his body precisely and with precision, angling his hips to hit that soft spot inside you with every thrust. 

“Fuck babygirl, you look so beautiful like this,” he groaned into your ear, his hot breath coming out in short puffs from the physical exertion.

“Ngh. Jimin,” you whined, “Please. More.” 

“Can you handle it?” he wondered, experimentally dragging his cock a little faster along your walls, continually hitting that sweet spot inside you.

“Yes, yes please. Need you,” you whimpered, bucking your hips up to meet his.

Jimin’s brow furrowed in concentration and his hips picked up speed, his sole purpose in that moment to give you the most blinding pleasure you’d ever experienced. His punishing pace had you wailing out his name in ecstasy, clawing at his back in a desperate attempt to ground yourself to something, lest you float away into oblivion from the fire building deep in your core.

“Come on baby, you look so pretty when you cum for me. Let go,” Jimin urged, his free hand slipping between your bodies to rub at your clit.

“Fuck… Jimin!” you cried out, and his teeth sinking into the flesh of your neck was the last thing you needed to send you careening over the edge into bliss for the second time that night.

Your breath coming in heavy pants, you were surprised when Jimin showed no signs of slowing down. Your walls continued to clench around his length in the aftermath of your orgasm, and Jimin let our low growls at the feeling of your pussy swallowing up his cock with each thrust. You whimpered, slightly sensitive from your two previous orgasms, but Jimin pistoning himself inside you still felt heavenly. 

Jimin shifted, pulling your leg up over his shoulder, the new position allowing him to reach even deeper inside your core, and your eyes nearly rolled back in your skull at the sensation of his cock kissing your cervix. You were a whimpering mess, your moans now garbled gibberish, not making any sense. All you knew in that moment was Jimin and how good he made you feel.

His lips wrapped around your nipple, sucking and nibbling on the sensitive flesh, and you shivered. His thrusts were getting erratic as he chased his own high, but Jimin was desperate to make you cum again first. He pinched and rolled your clit between his thumb and forefinger, abusing the bundle in the best way, sending you closer to your high once again.

“Fuck, Jimin- I-” you groaned.

“Come on baby, give me one more,” Jimin encouraged, using all his strength to hold back his own impending orgasm as he slammed inside of you.

Your whole body seemed to seize as you came for the third time, this one more intense than the others, making you almost dizzy with euphoria. Your throat burned with the force of your screams, quickly turning raw with use. Jimin didn’t last much longer, your cunt clenching around his length sending him over the edge. His hips stilled as he spilled ropes of hot cum into the condom. You could feel the heat from the thin plastic layer and wished that you could feel his seed shooting into you, dripping from your hole. 

Jimin collapsed next to you, panting. His body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, and he looked absolutely edible like this. His plump lips parted as heavy breaths escaped, he turned his head and his eyes met yours. You were both shaking from the intensity of your highs, and you let out a quiet giggle which made a smile bloom across Jimin’s lips. He let out a quiet chuckle.

“You’re so beautiful,” he cooed, turning his body back to face yours after tossing the used condom into the trash.

His arms wrapped around your torso, bringing your naked chests flush against each other as he peppered chaste kisses along your forehead, nose, and cheeks before catching your lips in a sweet kiss. 

“I love you,” you whispered, clinging to his sweaty body like he was the only thing keeping you from floating away, and maybe he was.

“I love you more,” he grinned against the skin of your neck.

“Absolutely not. I love you more,” you pouted.

“Nuh uh,” he teased, fingers poking into your side, causing you to shriek and curl into him.

He laughed and kissed your forehead, relenting from his teasing and tickling. Your bodies spent, you drifted off to sleep together, safe in the comfort of each other’s arms.

                                                        -♡-

Months had flown by in the blink of an eye. Suddenly, it was May and you were graduating. They say time flies when you’re having fun, and they are right. Every moment spent with Jimin never seemed to last long enough. After the two of you started dating, Jimin had slowly begun opening up to other people. He learned to trust Hoseok and Taehyung, and your initial impression of them had been correct: they were people Jimin could count on. 

Jimin did lose a few friends from the frat house when he stopped trying to play the part of the indifferent fuckboi, but he didn’t really count those people as losses. If they couldn’t accept the real him, they weren’t worth it. The two of you had branched out socially, and made new friends as well. Yoongi, the music major, who began working at the coffee shop you both frequented. He was stoic and unapproachable at first, but Jimin had commented on his band t shirt once and Yoongi’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, showing that he was actually super sweet and thoughtful once you got past his icy exterior. 

Namjoon, the business major whom you’d met while browsing the shelves of your university library. You’d been having a hard time reaching the book you wanted, and Namjoon had assisted without you even asking for help, his much taller frame bringing the book down to your level. He’d told you he had read that book at least ten times and you would surely love it. The two of you hit it off and soon Jimin joined you, immediately connecting with Namjoon as well. He was smart, patient, and would make an amazing businessman, just from the way he could read people but never treated anyone any differently.

Seokjin, the culinary arts major who had gone around campus giving out free samples of his work, promoting his new youtube channel “Eat Jin.” One taste of his dasik and you were begging him for the recipe. Jin had lit up and began explaining exactly how to make it and invited you to an episode of Eat Jin.

Jungkook, who hadn’t quite figured out what he wanted to do yet, had met Jimin at the gym. He was boxing in the practice room that Jimin had reserved to dance. He hadn’t noticed he’d gone over his time, and when Jimin politely entered the room, complimenting his form, he’d flushed and shot him the most adorable bunny smile. Jungkook apologized for running over his time and Jimin brushed it off, but Jungkook insisted on buying him coffee as an apology.

Slowly but surely, your friendship group grew, each new friend weaving their way into your hearts and teaching you something new. They got along with each other as well, as it turned out. You’d thrown a surprise party for Jimin’s birthday and invited them along, Namjoon and Jin became inseparable almost immediately, and Hoseok and Yoongi as well. Taehyung and Jungkook became a dynamic duo, consistently stirring up trouble wherever they went. 

Hoseok and Hana hadn’t broken up, after all. Hana had even contacted you to get coffee, apologizing for judging Jimin unfairly and trying to get in between the two of you. She’d joined your little group of friends, which slowly became more like a second family . Jimin flourished, surrounded by people who loved and cared for him exactly as he was.

He didn’t have to pretend to be anything but himself, didn’t have to please anyone, play any parts. His smile reached ear to ear and his eyes shone with love and light and so much life. Thinking back to the way they’d been dull and lifeless when you first met him brought you to tears as you watched him throw his head back in laughter and wrap his arms around Jungkook, who returned the gesture with similar glee.

Jimin no longer seemed broken. The dead weight resting in his chest had been lifted, and he was free. It didn’t happen overnight, and beginning his relationship with you certainly hadn’t been a magic fix, but it had been a catalyst. You taught Jimin that there were people in this world who genuinely could care for him without expecting anything in return. You showed him that there was still good, and he could trust people. Then, slowly, he’d met more and more people who only validated the lessons you’d taught him.

The more people Jimin met who didn’t use him, the more the ice around his heart began to chip away, giving him the strength and the courage to save himself from the darkness that had plagued his heart and mind for so long. And now, you were all graduating, moving on to pursue your dreams and aspirations. It was the last party of your college career, and you’d all gathered because Jimin had announced he’d had something to say to everyone. You gazed up proudly at your boyfriend.

“Thank you all for being here to celebrate the last night of college!” he cheered, earning hoots and hollers from your friends.

 “I know we all promised to keep in touch, but I just wanted to make sure that you all know how much I appreciate you being in my life. I love every single one of you, and I couldn’t have asked for a more amazing group of people to surround myself with. You all have lifted me up, encouraged me, and given me the strength to keep fighting when times got tough. They say that sometimes when you’re in a dark place, that you think you’ve been buried. But really, you’ve been planted. You just need a little bit of love and patience before you bloom. So thank you for giving me what I needed to bloom. All of you. Especially you, Y/N. You were the first person who really believed in me, and if it weren’t for you, I never would’ve let in any of these guys. I love you, baby. And I love all of you,” he grinned, “So here’s a toast to all of you, may your future be bright and your beer be full!”

Cheers erupted around you and you cheered along, all of you knocking back a sip of your drink to Jimin’s toast. He hopped down and wrapped an arm around you, kissing your cheek as your friends congratulated him on his speech and shared how happy they were to have met you both as well. Your heart felt like it couldn’t possibly get any fuller than it was in that moment, surrounded by people you loved. 

You and Jimin had both grown so much since that first night at the party, you’d fought, you’d cried, you’d laughed, and you’d gotten stronger. You were so proud of him and how far he had come, and you felt peace settle over you knowing the fact that he’d never have to be alone again, and neither would you. No matter what you found on the road ahead, you’d be okay.

You had each other.

[rubysunnday]

driver’s licence

Dear Gentle Reader, tonight is a grand occasion. It is a rare feat for  Lady Danbury to throw a ball for the ton but it is even rarer for the Duke and Duchess of Hastings to be able to attend, what with their ever-growing brood. 

Tonight, however, Dear Reader, these two things are happening in concession. Not only are our beloved Duke and Duchess of Hastings returning to us, but the eldest Bridgerton daughter, Y/N Bridgerton for those who struggle to remember the numerous children’s names, has been seen promenading with Lord Barclay in Hyde Park. 

Perhaps tonight will be Miss Bridgerton’s lucky night and will fulfil the Dowager Viscountess’s wishes of seeing all of her children married. The Viscount Bridgerton has recently been married to, formerly, Miss Kate Sharma - a marriage that seems to be a perfect love match.

Could the 1814 season see two Bridgerton children married in a matter of weeks?

Lady Whistledown’s Society Papers, 4th June 1814

If she was being entirely honest with herself - something Y/N rarely did because most of the time it meant that her mother had been right and it meant admitting that she’d been right - she wasn’t expecting to be married off anytime soon. 

Unlike Eloise, Y/N wasn’t entirely opposed to marriage. She wasn’t going to marry just for the sake of it, however. Whoever it ended up being had to be perfect and had to be someone she would happily spend the rest of her life with.

Y/N had two excellent examples of marriage to live up to. Daphne and Simon and Anthony and Kate - both love matches and both couples completely and utterly obsessed with their spouses. 

Lord Barclay had been nice to her. He’d danced with her, promenaded with her and had bought her - and her sister’s and mother - flowers. He was relatively knew to his lordship, his father had passed away the previous year and left his estate and title to his first son. 

Lord Barclay - Matthew, he’d told her to call him Matthew - had a younger brother who was nearer Y/N’s age but she hadn’t seen him anywhere in London. If the ton’s rumours were to be taken as gospel, he’d fled to America to get away from his father and his older brother.

But Y/N didn’t care about him. She liked Lord Barclay and after almost two years out in society and no sign of any marriage offers... well, her mother had always wanted to see all of her children married. 

And if he asked her to marry him - which she suspected would be coming soon - she wouldn’t say no.

But there was a niggling voice in the back of her head (one that sounded suspiciously like her mother and her brother, Colin) that kept asking if she was happy or if she was just settling. 

Colin’s displeasure and hatred of Lord Barclay was evident. He wasn’t admitting why he hated the man but every time his name was brought up or he came over to offer Y/N a dance, Colin would step forward protectively and pull Y/N away - unless another member of the family was around.

Colin was part of the reason why Y/N was having doubts about agreeing to marriage. He’d confided in her one night about how he didn’t want her to just settle and wanted her to be happy. 

But Lady Danbury’s ball was going to be the night she finally decided. Y/N could feel that something was going to happen that night. She was excited to see Matthew again and to, maybe, become his fiancee. 

It’d been a wonderful day. Daphne had joined Y/N, Eloise and their brothers for a ride through Hyde Park. They’d had picnic and then returned home to prepare for the ball that night.

Y/N had chosen one of her favourite new dresses to wear - Matthew had suggested the fabric when he’d accompanied her to the modiste to pick up some new dresses. 

She was excited to see him at the ball and talk to him. He’d been a bit distant, lately, but Y/N put it down to stress about his lordship. But there was still something niggling her in the back of her mind. And it wasn’t Colin, who was yelling up the stairs for her to hurry up. 

The dress was a beautiful lilac with silver flowers and pearls. She had her maid curl and pin her hair up with a circlet of flowers around it and wore the earrings Daphne had given her for her birthday a few months ago.

“You look beautiful, dearest,” Violet said, standing behind Y/N. 

Y/N smiled at her mother in the mirror and brought a hand to the necklace around her neck. It’d been a present from Matthew a few days ago. “It does suit the dress.”

Violet paused, looking as if she was contemplating saying something. “Y/N... are you sure about Lord Barclay?”

Y/N looked around at her mother and frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Are you happy with him? You’re not just settling?” Y/N paused. She’d been so certain and now, with her mother voicing the doubts she’d been having since... well, since Monday’s Whistledown had come out and since Colin had spoken to her.

Monday’s Whistledown had mentioned Matthew and had said he’d been seen with a mysterious young woman who most certainly was not Y/N. But she’d just put it down to her being his sister. But now she wasn’t so sure. She loved Matthew, she truly did. But... it was nothing like the love Anthony and Kate had for one another or what Daphne and Simon shared.

“I...” Y/N hesitated, looking down at her shoes. “I don’t want to lie to you, Mama,” she whispered, looking up at her mother, “but I don’t know. Monday’s Whistledown has made me doubt some things. I love him, I do but... well, I doubt it would ever be anything like Anthony or Daphne both have.”

Violet sighed softly and walked over to her daughter, embracing her tightly. Y/N  hid her face against her mother’s side, suddenly overcome with emotions and wrapped her arms around her waist, relishing in the comfort and reassuring she was giving.

But as Y/N walked down the stairs of Bridgerton House, her dress trailing out behind her slightly, she felt like the most beautiful woman in the world. Her two brother’s - waiting in the hallway for her - stared in awe at her.

There was something so special about a woman in love. She glowed and sparkled as if she was a star on Earth itself. She held herself in higher regard and felt like a queen. Everything seemed a little bit more okay and a little bit happier. 

Even if the doubt was beginning to seep in about whether she did truly love him.

Y/N took Colin’s arm and let him lead her to the carriage. The night was young and the air was warm. She’d never been so excited for a ball before. Kate was coming too - her first ball as Lady Bridgerton. 

Everything seemed to be going perfectly. 

Y/N tried to ignore the niggling feeling in her stomach. She wasn’t going to let it ruin her night. Even if she hadn’t heard from Matthew since Monday. And even if Colin’s mere presence was making it worse.

She tried not to make it obvious that she was looking for Matthew as they walked in to the room. But he was nowhere to be seen, despite promising he would be there. 

The majority of the night was spent on the edge of the ballroom, watching Anthony whirl Kate around the room in newly wedded bliss. Y/N danced with Simon and Benedict and chatted with Penelope and Eloise - who’d been forced to attend and was making sure everyone in a five mile radius was aware of that fact - and pretended not to be worried. 

But she was worried. Had she been so caught up with being in love that she’d missed the red signs that screamed at her to stop and re-consider. 

Anthony had noticed his sister’s increasing distress and had stopped dancing with his wife, walking over to his sister and standing next to her, shoulders touching.

“He’ll come, Y/N/N,” Anthony said, noting his sister look around the room yet again. 

Y/N nodded, not really paying much attention to him. She’d seen the pitying stares from the mothers of the ton and was beginning to dread what Whistledown was going to say tomorrow. 

Kate finished talking with someone and walked over to them, standing next to her husband. She looked at Y/N and then nudged Anthony’s side. “Do something,” she whispered, glancing at her sister - in - law in concern. 

Anthony sighed. “I don’t know what I can do, Kate.” He glanced back at Y/N. “If he does turn up, however, don’t hold me back.”

“If anything you’ll have to hold me back,” Kate replied.

Five minutes passed.

Then fifteen.

Then another five.

Benedict joined them in what was quickly becoming knowing as ‘Bridgerton corner’. He glanced at Y/N, then at Anthony. Anthony shook his head, warning him not to say anything. Benedict simply sat down next to his sister and causally flung his arm over the chair, pretending to subconsciously drum his fingers on her shoulder when he was actually trying to comfort her.

Colin came over with Eloise and Violet and soon every Bridgerton in attendance at Lady Danbury’s ball was standing in the corner, waiting.

Another ten minutes passed.

Y/N stood up and grabbed a glass of Lemonade from the table. She took a sip of the sour liquid and tried not make a face at the tangy taste in her mouth. 

Not liking the flavour of it she handed it off to Colin - her brother ate and drank almost anything put in front of him. Colin silently took it and shifted closer to Y/N, knowing his gut feeling about Lord Barclay had, unfortunately, been right.

Violet looked over at Y/N and sighed. “This isn’t going well,” she said quietly, leaning closer to Anthony and Kate.

“No, it isn’t,” Anthony replied, glowering at any one who dared approach them in their corner. 

“Oh, he’s here!” Y/N exclaimed, perking up as she spotted Matthew as he walked in the main door. “I’ll be back.”

Y/N began heading over to Matthew, weaving her way through the numerous dancers and chatting guests.

“Matthew!” She called, approaching him by the door to the garden. “Where have you been? Come on, I put you down on my dance card.”

She held out her gloved hand to him to take but frowned when he turned and gave her a frown.

Matthew shifted on his feet, an uncomfortable expression appearing on his face. “Ah, Miss Bridgerton.”

Y/N paused, dropping her hand. “Miss Bridgerton? Matthew, what is going on?”

Matthew sighed, looking as if it physically pained him to have to explain. “I don’t want to see you anymore, Miss Bridgerton. I have found another woman  - one my family approves of -”

“Your family doesn’t approve of me?” Y/N asked slowly, struggling to comprehend what was happening. “What -”

“I apologise for any inconvenience caused this evening,” Matthew said, bowing. “I wish you well, Miss Bridgerton.” 

“Matthew -” 

Y/N reached out to grab his hand but he brushed past her, walking across the room and disappearing off into the corridor, leaving Y/N standing alone in the corner, her brain trying to catch up with what had just happened.

Anthony slowly approached, having watched the entire conversation. He’d heard what Lord Barclay had said and had seen the way he stared at his sister - as if she was nothing more than an inconvenience. 

“Y/N/N?” Anthony asked quietly, putting a hand on her arm. “What happened?”

“He... he’s found someone else,” she said, her voice a whisper. “Someone his family approves of. I - what...”

Y/N trailed off, stunned and in shock. Anthony sighed, clenching his hand in anger. He glanced up at his mother, who was hovering worriedly nearby, and shook his head once.

Y/N couldn’t form the words to speak. She just stood there, Anthony's hand on her arm being the one thing keeping her grounded.

The room was beginning to whisper and point at Y/N, all wondering what had happened. Anthony noticed a few beginning to wonder over and grabbed Y/N’s hand, gently tugging her forward and to the centre of the room.

Whilst a dance was the last thing either of them wanted - it was the only way to get away from the prying eyes and the endless questions and pitying stared of the Ton. 

“Are you alright?” Anthony asked quietly, guiding her hands to the correct position and helping her take one step forward. 

Y/N, not wanting to be seen crying in the ballroom, forced a smile onto her face and lifted her head up high, breathing in deeply despite the lump in her throat and the stinging in her eyes and the urge she felt to curl up into a ball and sob. “Of course.”

Red lights, stop signs I still see your face in the white cars, front yards

Every time Anthony spun her way, Y/N allowed her facade to crack for just a second. It hurt. Her chest felt tight and every breath was constricted.  Everything hurt.

He’d discarded her to the side like she was a piece of rubbish and as if she was nothing. He’d played with her and showered her with gifts and love and compliments and it’d all been a lie. 

Matthew had lied. He’d lied. 

The words rang around her head like a mantra and it was beginning to consume her. Anthony spun her out and back into him but she almost fell to the floor, her knees beginning to weaken as her body and mind caught up. 

Anthony caught her and held her up, looking down at her blank, emotionless face as she tried not to crack.

Y/N focused on each step - the way her feet rose to the tip toes and then back down to her heel as she stepped back and forth, side to side, up and down. She focused on Anthony’s hand in hers, the warmth of his palm, the familiar, comforting scent of his aftershave.

Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe

The lights blurred past, the numerous people dancing around her becoming one solid merge of colour. 

She couldn’t breathe. Her stays felt tight and uncomfortable - even though she knew they weren’t. The necklace she was wearing felt like it was choking her - cutting off the air she need.

Her dress was too tight, too long, her gloves too thick and too heavy.

Sidewalks we crossed I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing

Y/N didn’t remember much of the dancing - she wasn’t even sure how she was moving one foot in front of the other. Anthony was watching her with concern in his eyes and was leading her and guiding her every step of the way. 

The music was too loud. The candles were too bright. Everything was an overwhelming blur of orange, red, blue and yellow. Her eyes stung as finally, her mind and body came to the same conclusion.

It was over. He was gone and she was free and her entire future was non-existent and she was alone and unmarried and free.

Over all the noise God, I'm so blue, know we're through But I still fuckin' love you, babe

The song ended and before the last notes had even faded away, Y/N was pushing away from Anthony and past her mother and Colin and out the door, running down the corridor away from everyone.

Her shoes echoed loudly on the tiles and she skidded around the corner into the room that had been set aside for the women. Y/n slammed the door shut behind her and panted and sobbed, clutching the edge of the sink tightly. 

She looked in the mirror, her breaths harsh and ragged, and clawed at the necklace Y/N ran down a corridor and into the room that had been set aside for women who need to freshen up or fix their dresses. 

She slammed the door shut behind her and hurried over to the washroom, clawing at the necklace around her neck desperate for air and desperate for it to be out of sight.

I know we weren't perfect But I've never felt this way for no one

The clasp eventually gave way and Y/N flung the necklace to the side, taking in ragged, harsh breaths as she sobbed and clutched the sink to keep standing. 

Her heart hurt. Her chest hurt. Her head hurt. Everything hurt. She couldn’t breathe, couldn't think, could barely see her reflection in the mirror.

She slowly sank to her knees, leaning against the edge of the sink as she curled up and sobbed and sobbed and hyperventilated and sobbed.

It was over. She was free and he was gone.

And I just can't imagine How you could be so okay now that I'm gone.

The door to the side room opened and Violet burst in. She took one look at her daughter - eyes red, skin blotchy, neck scratched from trying to take off her necklace - and ran over to her daughter, falling to her knees beside her and taking her in her arms. 

Y/N clung to her mother tightly as if she were her lifeline in the stormy dark sea she was drowning in. She buried her face in her shoulder and cried and cried.

Anthony stood in the doorway to the room, Colin next to him, and felt his own heart break as he watched his sister fall apart on the floor.  

Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

[kiyosamu]

HQ boys when they have too much to drink

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3)

———♡———

Atsumu Miya

• take his typical personality and turn up the volume to 100. this man is LOUD. his laugh obnoxiously booms around the entire place, he’s straight up yelling as he talks (he doesn’t realize it though), and he’s such a flirt.

• there is a tipping point though, that one drink that pushes him over the edge of no return. he goes from happy, loud tsumu to an absolute baby. this massive hunk of a professional athlete will cry, and he’ll cry hard.

———♡———

osamu offered to treat the msby boys to a dinner and drinks after another excellent win, of course they accepted with pure gratitude and excitement (they all loved osamu’s food).

although it was at his house and not his restaurant, the food was just as good; if not better. you all thanked him for the meal and sat around his large table chatting and drinking.

“cheers, boys!” atsumu exclaimed, leaning over the table to clink glasses with everyone, downing his beer immediately after.

“not just boys here, ‘tsumu, you forget about y/n already?” osamu smirked.

atsumu gasped, leaning down and squeezing you around your shoulders. you laughed as he practically pushed all of the air out of your lungs.

“forget her?! i was going to do a toast for ONLY her. just had to get ya scrubs outta the way first” he teased, sticking out his tongue at the group.

you smiled, shaking your head. “it’s fine, atsumu, there’s no need for tha-”

surprisingly, you were interrupted by osamu.

“cheers to y/n, for makin’ my brother happier than i’ve ever seen ‘em.” he looked down at you, smiling. “never thought he’d find anyone, ‘specially a stunner like yourself~ happy to have you in our family and to have you as a future sister in law.”

you almost teared up at his words, not expecting osamu to say something so sweet. you were about to speak again but were interrupted by the rest of the boys, standing up and clinking their glasses again.

“cheers to y/n!”

they all knocked their drinks back and you covered your face in your hands. you really were thankful for these boys, they’d come into your life and you never wanted them out of it.

“alright stop flirtin’ with my woman” atsumu grinned, pulling you up to your feet. he pulled with enough force that you practically crashed against his chest. your forearms rested against him and you looked up at the blonde towering over you.

“heh” he smirked, “fancy meetin’ ya here, pretty girl”

you rolled your eyes, pushing off of him, and excused yourself to the bathroom.

when you got back, you heard osamu cursing in the kitchen. you peeked in to see what was wrong.

“you okay, samu?”

“huh?” he peered up over the refrigerator door, “oh, yeah, i’m good. thought we had more beer but i forgot it at the restaurant. these boys knock ‘em back quick.”

“want me to go pick some up?”

“ah, would ya?

“sure” you smiled, heading into the living room where the other boys were.

atsumu pulled you into his lap, immediately giving you a big wet kiss on your cheek.

“ah, atsumu, ew!” you giggled as you wiped your face. he hummed in complete bliss as he buried his face in your hair. you could feel how warm he was, and could tell he was already pretty drunk.

“i’m gonna go to the store quick, you guys want anything other than beer?”

bokuto’s eyes widened at the possibilities. he turned towards the kitchen, and back to you.

“y/n... psst...” he whispered and motioned for you to get closer. you went over to him, kneeling down as he was sitting on the floor.

“can you get me a cheeseburger?” he flashed a classic bokuto smile and you playfully nudged him.

“hey! i heard that!” osamu said as he charged into the living room. “there’s leftovers still, you insatiable beast, eat those. don’t ya dare insult me like that.”

he threw a pillow at bokuto and went back into the kitchen, coming out again with a mixed drink in his hand.

“whatcha drinkin?” atsumu asked, looking at his brother.

“doesn’t concern ya, the last thing you need is hard alcohol.” he motioned for you to catch something, tossing you his wallet. “thanks for going, y/n!”

you told the boys you’d be back quickly, but that turned into almost an hour. the first store you went to was closed, and the second was 20 minutes away.

as you were paying, you looked down at the wallet and card osamu had given you.

it was atsumu’s credit card, not osamu’s. you couldn’t help but laugh. not like atsumu would mind (or even notice), but it was the little things the twins do that always cracked you up.

you were having a great night. however, the house you left earlier and just came back to were severely different in a few ways.

the first thing you noticed was the music you could hear from outside. not unlike them to put some on while hanging out, but it was pretty loud.

the second thing you noticed was hinata running full speed in front of you (practically knocking you over) and slamming the bathroom door.

the third was the loud slam of glasses on the kitchen counter. you peeked in to see atsumu, bokuto, and sakusa all standing over a half drank bottle of tequila.

“poor shoyo” atsumu cooed. “prolly gettin’ sick all over samu’s bathroom.”

“not like he didn’t warn you,” sakusa said casually. “you two practically forced him to.”

you sighed, setting the beer on the table and the boys turned their attention to you.

“my baby!” atsumu sprinted towards you, throwing you into his arms and squeezing you. you tapped on his shoulder for him to let you down. he gave you a kiss, the smell and taste of alcohol much stronger than a beer overtaking your lips.

“you smell like a bar, ‘tsumu, how much have you had to drink?”

“only a couple beers, and one shot, don’t worry babe~” he said between the many kisses he was covering your cheeks with. you didn’t believe him considering he was already slurring his words.

“bullshit, ya filthy liar” osamu glared at him as he walked into the kitchen. “i had one drink from that bottle and now it’s halfway gone, i leave for 20 minutes to make a phone call and you savages drink my liquor too?”

bokuto and sakusa silently left the kitchen, grabbing the beer on the table before heading into the other room.

“why, do ya gotta lie, ‘saaamu?” atsumu put you down, walking over to his brother and scrunching his nose at him.

“oh, yer done. i’d know that stupid look anywhere.” osamu peered around atsumu’s shoulders to look at you. “he’s wasted, y/n, if ya wanna keep your sanity you can just leave him here for the night.”

you shook your head. “it’s okay, osamu, i don’t mind. plus everyone’s still here. we can still hang out.”

osamu shrugged. “don’t say i didn’t warn ya, but the offer still stands.”

atsumu glared at his brother, shoving him a little harder than playfully.

“stop flirtin’ with my woman”

“ah fucks sake.” osamu rolled his eyes, giving atsumu the middle finger. “don’t ya dare get like this tonight, atsumu. yer gonna embarrass yourself in front of your girlfriend AND friends.”

you quickly grabbed atsumu’s hand, leading him back over to you to distract him. osamu scoffed and went back into the living room.

“surprise surprise, osamu ran away again” he growled. “like usual.”

you touched his cheek, looking at him thoughtfully.

“what’s wrong, baby? you okay?”

the unprovoked anger he had in his eyes vanished, he turned into complete mush when he looked at you. he nodded, his eyes watering now.

“oh, ‘tsumu...” you said quietly, leading him into osamu’s spare bedroom and shutting the door.

you guided him to the edge of the bed for him to sit down.

atsumu reached out for you and you sat on his lap. he rested his forehead on your shoulder.

you were sitting on him sideways and leaned into his chest. he wrapped his arms around your waist. as you were about to say something, you could hear his breaths become uneven.

“tsumu?”

atsumu shook his head, not looking up at you.

“hey...” you said softly, cupping his cheeks in your hands. you could feel the tears on his warm skin.

you tilted his head up. his eyes were red and it broke your heart seeing him upset like this, fueled by alcohol or not.

you pushed his messy hair out of his face, kissing his forehead. “what is it, baby?”

“it’s just, ugh-” he sniffled, “samu... pisses me off...”

“he’s just looking out for you, babe.”

“nah not that. just always leavin’ me, walkin’ away, past few years that’s all he’s good for.” he rubbed his eyes, leaning back into your shoulder.

“s’pathetic, i know, me sitting here cryin’ on ya like a total scrub”

you shook your head, ignoring the last part. “it’s not pathetic. you miss him?”

“i- ‘course i do! i mean, i’d never tell ‘em that...” he grumbled.

you nodded. “well let’s make more of an effort to spend time with him. i’m sure he’d really like that.”

your mind drifted to a previous conversation you’d had with osamu that he made you promise not to tell his twin. he’d pretty much said the same thing, but a little less emotional.

the boys did still see each other often, you were pretty sure they talked almost every day, but they went from spending almost every waking moment together to only seeing each other once a week, at most, at this point. they were both just so busy.

atsumu was always vocal about how he wished osamu had pursued volleyball with him, but he was still happy his brother found his own passion. he just wished that passion was the same as his.

when you first met their mom, she’d told you about how their bond was different from regular siblings- twins were a bit more attached to each other. she laughed, saying sometimes she was convinced they shared a brain. “they’re a package deal.”

“okay...” atsumu said, his face still in your shoulder. “ya can’t tell him i was cryin’ though. just say hanging out is your idea.”

you laughed, running your fingers back through his hair and stopping to give soothing scratches to the short hair of his undercut. “sure, baby.”

atsumu squeezed you tight and gave your butt a little pat, which told you he was ready to get up.

“you okay now? ready to go back out there?”

he nodded. you took a good look at him, his eyes a little puffy and cheeks flushed, but it wasn’t as obvious, he could easily blame the alcohol.

he tilted your head up towards him, giving you a kiss. his hand pressed against the back of your neck, the other snaking around your lower back. you stood on your tiptoes and rested your hands along his jawline.

“mmf-“ atsumu exhaled, tightening his grip on you and kissing you more. “on second thought” he said in between kisses, “think i wanna go home with ya, spend some quality time with my baby, yeah?”

you giggled as he trailed kisses along your cheek and down your neck, unable to hide your excitement. it was funny to think how this massive flirt was just crying into you only a couple minutes ago.

the award for biggest mood swings would definitely go to your boyfriend.

“hmmmm?” he hummed into you, his lips finding yours again.

you nodded. “fine, but only because you’re so handsome and i just can’t resist you.” you teased.

he smirked. “not sure if yer teasin’ or being serious, but i’ll take it. c’mon.” he grabbed your hand, both of you heading into the living room to say your quick goodbyes before heading home together

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

I hate love, but...

Pietro Masterlist - Full Masterlist

Summary: When you and Pietro met, it was right from the get go. However, love has done you wrong before and you have a hard time accepting that Pietro isn’t going to drop you and he’s more than willing to prove you that he’s staying.

Pairing: Pietro Maximoff x Reader

Word count: 2.7k

Author’s note: I wrote this in a few hours. I didn’t beta read, I don’t have beta readers to do it for me. Have fun.

Life moves fast with Pietro. He had kissed you when you said yes to a date because he got excited. He ended up in your bed after said date and didn’t leave for about a week. When he finally left, he asked you to be his girlfriend. It wasn’t intended. Pietro was just easily excitable and in touch with his feelings. He knew from the start that you were special but you aren’t as excitable as him. You’ve had your run-ins with love up to the point that it isn’t in the stars for you to end up with a partner. When you said yes to being Pietro’s girlfriend, you were already thinking of a way out that would leave you with the least amount of pain but nothing worked. You tried ghosting him but he’d just be at your door the second he thought you were taking too long to respond. You tried being rude but he chalked it up to you having a bad day and took care of you. You tried to flirt with coworkers to make sure he’d leave before you fell for him but he just swooped you away and asked if you wanted his attention that bad. No, nothing worked and now you’re over the edge. You’re falling and you don’t have a parachute but for the first time in forever, you are not scared of the landing. You’re not even sure if there will be a landing.

Two months in and Pietro spends more time at your place than he does at his room in the compound. When he’s done with work, he’s right at your doorstep. You feel like you’re happier. You know for a fact that you’re smiling more because your cheeks hurt almost every night when you go to sleep. Your hands are never cold because he’s always holding them and your bed is never empty, except for the times you fall asleep on the couch together. ‘Prinţesă?’ Pietro cranes his neck so he can meet your eyes as you sit in your reading chair. For the past hour, he tried to nap while you read. He never accomplishes his mission to nap unless you lay with him but he tries nonetheless. Most times, his napless rest ends up in him overthinking. He often overthinks prior decisions and actions. So, more often than not, Pietro’s napless naps end up in discussions about life or assuring him that he did well in the past. You are prepared to talk to him as you always are. You close your book and lay it on the armrest of your chair. ‘Yeah?’ ‘Hypothetically speaking, would you want to meet my sister if I asked you to?’ ‘If I said yes, would you actually let me meet her?’ A smile appears on his face as he lays back down. ‘She’s already on her way.’ He peeks at you, watching how your face turned from a cocky smile to fear. To be fair, your apartment is a mess and you want to make a good impression. ‘Don’t worry, prinţesă, she’ll love you,’ he assures you, ‘besides, she’s not staying. She’s just bringing over some clothes I left at the tower.’ You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and grin. ‘Clothes hm? I can’t remember asking you to move in,’ you tease him. He motions for you to come over to him. As you get up from your chair, he grabs your hand and yanks you on top of him. You squeal when he does and gently hit his chest while you laugh it off. ‘You didn’t have to ask,’ he tells you, ‘I could tell you wanted me to stay.’ ‘You’re such an asshole,’ you smile and press your lips against his. His arms wrap around your body, holding you steady against him. Your hands move up into his hair. For some reason, they always end up there. His hair is just so soft and fluffy. But the blissful moment is short-lived. The ringing of the doorbell puts a quick end to the whole ordeal as you and Pietro exchange looks. Do you do it or me? ‘I can’t open the door if you’re on top of me,’ he tells you. ‘Oh, so you are going to open the door when I get off,’ you ask as you push yourself up. ‘That wouldn’t be logical because you would already be up,’ he explains to you. ‘Just say you’re lazy.’ ‘I’m lazy.’ You shake your head and get off the couch. ‘I’ll make it up to you.’ ‘You better,’ you warn him as you head over to the door and then it hits you. He wants you to open the door for his sister. How would she know who you were if he didn’t show her or tell her about you? ‘Oh you sly motherfucker,’ you mumble under your breath. Suddenly, you feel his hot breath on your neck. ‘Say that again and I’ll make sure you can’t walk tomorrow.’ ‘Your sister is at the door,’ you tell him, ‘you better behave.’ He shrugs and walks back to the couch. ‘She knows how I am. I have nothing to worry about.’ You watch him belly flop onto the couch and finally open the door. There stands a woman who looks nothing like Pietro. She’s shorter, a redhead, and just looks like a total badass. Now you’re kinda intimidated. ‘Hi, I’m so sorry for taking so long,’ you say with a smile. ‘That’s alright. You must be Y/n, right?’ You nod and shake her hand. ‘I’m Wanda. I’ve heard a lot about you.’ Pietro jumps up from the couch. ‘Don’t tell her that,’ he yells at Wanda. ‘Shut up Sonic,’ she snaps back and throws the duffel bag she carried towards him. He catches it with ease but pretends to be hurt by letting out a low grunt and falling back onto the couch. She turns back to you. ‘Can I come in?’ ‘Of course.’ You step aside and watch as Pietro’s face changes. He looks slightly terrified of his sister as she steps inside. ‘What? You’ve been gone for two whole months and I don’t know the girl you’re living with. If you thought I was just going to drop off your clothes and leave, you’re insane,’ she tells him and sits down on your reading chair. ‘Wanda, would you like tea or coffee?’ ‘No, thanks. I’ll be out of your hair soon. I just want to have a small heart-to-heart talk with my brother if you don’t mind.’ ‘Oh, of course.’

A month slowly crept by and Pietro never told you what they discussed in that heart-to-heart talk. All you knew was that Pietro was sulking for a while after Wanda left. You decided to give him space and try not to pry, thinking it was him finally pulling away from you and leaving you to crash from your fall for him. Maybe Wanda made him see you’re not a good candidate to be a girlfriend for a man like him. And yet, it didn’t feel right. ‘Pietro, can we talk?’ You watch the fear flicker behind his eyes as you sit down on the couch next to him. He turns his body so that you are facing each other and nods. You take a deep breath but before you can speak he asks: ‘Are you breaking up with me?’ ‘Wha-what?’ ‘You’ve been so distant and I thought-’ ‘Wait, no, I thought you were going to break up with me.’ He frowns. ‘Why would I do that? You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.’ ‘Then why have you been so quiet?’ He doesn’t have a quick answer ready and though his words made your heart swell just a second ago, the silence is chipping away at it. ‘I’m not sure,’ he admits to you, ‘I guess I’ve been thinking more. About where I want this to go.’ ‘Did you figure it out yet?’ He shakes his head. ‘I do know that I want you to meet my family,’ he tells you, ‘the Avengers.’

You never expected you could be this nervous on an elevator. Not because you’re nervous to meet the Avengers. No, because Pietro keeps fiddling and telling you things he’s said a million times by now. ‘Tony has probably already done a background check on you so he’ll have some questions. You’re a woman so you don’t have to worry about intimidation from Captain America but I would worry about Natasha and Clint. They have taken Wanda and me in like they’re our parents. And-’ You press your lips against his and smile. ‘I know. I’ll be fine,’ you promise him and lace your fingers through his, ‘we’ll be fine.’ He smiles and nods confidently. The elevator door opens and you see a few people scattered around a fancy-looking room that has a bag, big cozy couches, a pool table, multiple other places to sit, and floor-to-ceiling windows. And the ceilings are pretty damn high. ‘Wow.’ ‘Ah, thanks, kid.’ You look in front of you to see Tony Stark approaching you. You show him a friendly smile and nod. ‘I’m Tony.’ You shake his hand. ‘Y/n Y/l/n but I’m certain you already knew that.’ ‘I did,’ he admits, ‘and Pietro probably already told you about me.’ You nod. ‘Lucky for you, I don’t have any questions for you. You seem to have a pretty cut and dry life.’ You stifle a laugh and nod. ‘Well, let’s meet the others.’ He offers you his arm but you decline and take Pietro’s arm instead. He nods at the gesture and shows you to the couches. ‘Everyone, this is Y/n Y/l/n, Pietro’s girlfriend,’ Tony announces to the group, ‘that’s Thor, Steve, Sam, Bucky, Natasha, Bruce, and Clint. You already know Wanda, right?’ You nod. After the talk you and Pietro had, Wanda came over again and stayed the night to talk you up to speed with some of the characters living at the compound. Just to prepare you a little. It had just been one day but she was so welcoming. ‘Nice to meet you,’ you say with a timid smile. Pietro shows you to a place to sit. You’re lodged between Wanda and Pietro. ‘So how’d you two meet,’ Natasha asks. ‘Oh, we bumped into each other in the park,’ you tell her, ‘he made me drop my coffee so he told me he’d buy me a new one to make up for it and at the end of the encounter I had his number and he had asked me on a date.’ You leave out the part of the kiss, just in case, Pietro feels a bit strange about it. It was a strange encounter. ‘Ain’t that adorable,’ Natasha grins, ‘first kiss?’ You look at Pietro who shrugs. ‘Does that mean he can’t remember or you don’t want to tell,’ Clint asks you. Wanda chuckles. She knows. She must know. Pietro probably told her. After all, she was the only one who knew about you all this time. ‘Well, I...’ Pietro looks at you again and then at the group. ‘I asked her out and I got a bit excited when she said yes-’ ‘You kissed her right after you asked her out?!’ You have never seen Pietro turn this red. Not even after that first kiss when he realized what he had done. You feel like you have to step in. ‘Just to be clear, I didn’t mind.’ Your eyes meet Pietro’s once again. He smiles back at you and a thought pops into his head. A thought he couldn’t prepare for and one that didn’t leave his mind the whole night. “This is it. This is who I’m meant to be with.”

Your head rests on Pietro’s chest, one arm and one leg thrown over his body, while he traces meaningless patterns on your arm. You’ve had a long day meeting the Avengers and answering all kinds of strange questions. You were glad you had Pietro by your side but as of now, you’re both tired yet unable to sleep. Pietro stares at the ceiling, seemingly deeply lost in thought while you admire his face. From the slight stubble on his chin to the moles and freckles on his skin. You try to memorize all of them. That is until you see him frown. ‘What’s on your mind?’ You ask but you are terrified of the reply. ‘Us.’ ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ He shakes his head and you feel your heart drop but you don’t move away. He has given you no reason to. ‘No, I just want to tell you something.’ You roll onto your stomach and rest your head on your hands, looking up at him as he moves back against the headboard a little so he can look at you while he’s talking. Something in the pit of your stomach is telling you that this is the make-or-break moment in your relationship. He either tells you he loves you now or breaks it off but he’s dragging the silence. He watches your eyes as they stare up at him filled with hope in the dim light of your shared bedroom. Soft moonlight falls through the sheer curtains of your bedroom. He always thought that was adorable, that you didn’t want thick curtains because you enjoyed waking up to sunlight. It’s something he didn’t think he’d enjoy but he does. In fact, almost everything you enjoy, he enjoys. Over just a few months, he learned to take things slow. He learned that he didn’t have to be awake every second of every day, that he didn’t always have to do things fast. You would read to him and he enjoyed it. He was able to really take in the words you read to him instead of rushing through the book like he usually does. Cooking with you is a domestic dream come through. It is never sexual in the kitchen, you take cooking too seriously for that, but the dinner table is a whole different story. And that’s another thing he learned to take slow. Sex. Making love. He never imagined sex and making love would be such different things from each other and with you, he learned that he had never made love before. When he would lay you down on your bed, he would take his time taking in every spot, every crevis, every mark on your body. He takes his sweet time with you and he loves every moment of it. In fact, ‘I love you,’ he states proudly, ‘and I don’t need another few years to figure out that I want a future with you. I want to wake up next to you every day for the rest of my life. I want to start a family with you and grow old together… You’re it for me.’ ‘Wow.’ You smile meekly, not quite sure how to respond. This is not at all what you thought he was going to say. ‘I didn’t know you thought about us like that.’ ‘How do you think about us?’ You take a second to think of your response and you watch him getting nervous like you had gotten before he spoke. ‘You know, I used to hate love before I met you,’ you tell him, ‘I had been broken so many times that I thought I would never find someone for me but then you ran into me and there was this spark. I had never felt that before and I was scared it was just me but you proved me time and time again that you felt it too. And I still fear that you might wake up one day and realize that I am not what you thought I was.’ He gently grabs your chin and lowers his face to brush his lips against yours. ‘That will never happen.’ You pull away, leaving him confused and a little scared. ‘I wasn’t done.’ A smile appears on your face. ‘I hate love, but I’ll make an exception for you.’ A bright smile appears on his face as he leans down to press a seething kiss to your lips. ‘I love you.’

Life moves fast with Pietro but you don’t mind.

[mosswillow]

Useless Dark!Steve Roger x Reader (part three)

Warnings: 18+ Adult content!, Werewolves, A/B/O, Possessive behavior, Dark, Non con/dub con, Forced marriage, power imbalance, general misogyny, Punishments, smut, spanking, branding.

Summary: “Trying to fight this is useless doll, we’ll always end up right back here.” You’re the bottom of the pack, an Omega, and Steve has chosen you for his mate. 

A/N:  The last chapter had a happier ending. Stop there is that’s what you want. 

---

“You feel so good”

“Shut up and just fuck me already.” you claw at the strangers shirt and he pulls it over his head.

The alcohol you consumed earlier in the evening is still pulsing through your veins and giving you a pleasant buzz. The wolf you’re with now is nothing more than a hookup. You don’t even know his name and frankly don’t care to. It’s easier when you don’t.

“I don’t think I’ve ever met a mouthy Omega before.” He quips.

The stranger climbs on top of you and holds you down.

“I kinda like it,” he says.

He slaps you in the face before devouring your lips and you wrap your legs around him. You make long scratches down his back that draw blood and the pain prompts him to work harder and faster. It’s a quick, meaningless fuck, one that only serves to distract you from the ever present anxiety that consumes your life. You lose yourself and for a few mindless minutes you forget about everything. It all comes crashing back though, just like it always does. You get up and gather your clothes.

“Fuck.” He breathes, still lying on the bed.

You roll your eyes and start lacing up your shoes but before you’re able to stand He grabs your arm, pulling you roughly towards him. You look down and realize your mistake. The bandage that usually covers your brand is missing and the mark that tethers you to your pack is visible.

“That’s the Avengers brand.” You watch the recognozation wash across his face.

You try to pull your arm back but he grips you tighter.

“You said your Alpha was dead.”

“Just let me go.” You say shaking your head.

“You know I can’t.”

He pulls you roughly to the bed and pins you're down by the throat, getting close to your face.

“Don’t move Omega.”

You sputter when he lets you go and scoot to the headboard, bringing you knees up to your chest.

He finds his phone and hits speed dial, pacing back and forth in the room as he waits for who you assume is his pack Alpha to answer.

“Uh, hey I have a bit of a problem...”

“...yeah, you know that Omega that went missing from the Avenger pack? Yeah like three

years ago... I found her....”

He sits on the bed briefly before standing and pacing again.

“Well I kinda fucked her.” He grasps his hair in his hand, shaking his head. You can hear the yelling from your place on the bed and almost feel bad for the trouble you’ve gotten him in.

“I swear I didn’t know until after!”

He listens for a few minutes while eyeing you. You look at him with the biggest puppy dog eyes, making yourself look as small as possible. He finally hangs up and shoves his phone in his pocket.

“You need to get in the shower before your Alpha shows up. I don’t want you smelling like me.”

You nod and hang your head.

“I’m hungry.”

He sighs. “Ok, I’ll get you something from the vending machine.”

“Thank you so much Alpha,” You say.

You smile and walk to the bathroom, turn on the shower, and count to twenty. You peak out finding the room empty ad sprint out to your car, not stopping for even a second.

“What an idiot.” you say as you drive away.

---

Three years. It’s been almost three wonderfully horrible years. You look at yourself in the mirror of your dirty motel room. Your mind returns to Steve again like it does every all day, every day. You pull your shirt off and turn around looking at your mark. You miss the guy. You miss your parents. You miss Tony and Carol, Sam and Thor. You miss playing with the pups and going to pack nights, roasting smores and running in the woods with your pack mates. You want that again, to feel part of something. They were all right, it’s not in your nature to be rogue. You’re tired of running. You’re constantly on edge, worried about the next time you have to pick up without a word and move to the next town. It’s a struggle every single day not to pick the phone up and call them. Still, you fear going back. You’ll lose all of the freedom you’ve carefully crafted for yourself.  

You get dressed, walk to the closest coffee shop, and pull your laptop out. You’re a freelance writer, getting just enough work to support your lifestyle.

The door opens and you know it’s them, the local pack. This always goes the same way. Three Alphas make their way over to you and sit at your table. It’s always the same arrogant group, you refer to them as Jack, Ass, and Don.  

“I thought she was joking, an Omega, really?” Jack says.

You look up feigning surprise.

“What are you doing here sweetheart?” Ass asks.

“Just passing through,” You smile.

“You smell taken. Where’s your Alpha?” Don says

“He’s dead, it’s just me now.”

“We can help you out little one, why don’t you join our pack?” Jack says.

“Thank you but no.”

Jack taps his fingers on the table. This part is important. You’ll either be running immediately or will have a few weeks until they try to kidnap you.

“I really think you should join us.” Jack says again.

This in your cue. It’s not safe here. You look down and pout.

“You’re really ok with taking care of an Omega like me?” You look up at the Alpha.

“We would be proud to take in a sweet little thing like you.” Ass says, running his hand over your cheek.

“Thank you Alpha.” You say, nuzzling into his hand.

“I’ll be right back.” you stand smiling and grab your laptop.

You keep the smile until you’re out of the shop and at your car. You get in and drive away, not looking back.

After driving for an hour you pull over and look at the map, picking a new spot. You run your hand over the area on the map where your old territory was. It’s not far from where you’re going.

As you get closer to the town you start recognizing things. You pull over your car into a scenic overlook as sudden panic grips you. You cry and tell yourself over and over that it’s ok, you’re ok. You look out at the trees which were once vibrant oranges and reds at the beginning of the season but have slowly lost their leaves.

You were full of hope when you first left. You traveled and saw so many things. You’ve swam in lakes and hiked countless trails. You’ve met wolves from everywhere. It’s starting to feel empty now. You’ve never found anything that’s satisfied you for more than a few minutes. Your mind craves adventure and freedom but your soul craves something more. It craves your family. It craves Steve.

You pull yourself together and keep driving until you reach your destination. The host asks your name for the room and you make a mistake, a purposeful mistake. You tell them your real name.

You arrive at your room and don’t bother unpacking. You’ll wait the night and leave tomorrow if he doesn’t come. You can’t quite bring yourself to go back to him but you can do this. A little breadcrumb. You don’t know if you actually want him to come or not. You know he’ll hurt you just like he used to. You know you’ll be forced to submit, that this life you’ve created will become a distant memory. There won’t ever be another chance to escape. But at least you won’t have the anxiety anymore. At least you won’t live looking over your shoulder. You can’t do that anymore and giving your real name was part of that. You won’t hide. You’ve always known you would have to face your past eventually and you feel as ready now as you’ll ever be. He’ll come, you’re sure he will, and he’ll be mad. You prepare yourself mentally for a fight.

You don’t sleep.

You lie in bed and look at the ceiling for hours before it happens.

A loud knock.

You stand and take weak steps to the door, stalling for a few moments with your hand on the knob before opening it.

Steve doesn’t say anything. He pushes his way into the room and slams you down to the floor. You kick and struggle as he fits a tracker to your ankle. He exhales after placing it and grabs your head, planting a violent kiss on your lips. You pull away.

“Steve.”

“You don’t speak.”

He tears your shirt in half and deposits it on the floor.

“I can smell other wolves on you,” He growls

You bite your lip.

His mouth finds your mark and he bites down, marking you again.

He backs away and you glare at him. Every bit of resentment comes back. You’re not going to roll over for him so quickly. You pull your arm back and punch him in the face. He stumbles and brings his hand up to his bloody nose.

He grabs hold of you and throws you across the room. You hit the wall and drop to the ground, the breath knocked out of you. You cough and hold your stomach before standing slowly.

“We’ve done this before, you know I’ll go until I can’t anymore.”

“And you know I won’t stop until you’re a bloody mess.”

You run at him again and he tackles you, flipping you over and holding you down with one arm. With the other he tears off your underwear before pulling out his cock out and driving into you.

“You. Left. Me.” he says, thrusting deep into you.

“You pushed me away!” you cry out.

Steve slaps you hard on the ass as he continues to pound you. You feel like your body is in a bubble, only you and Steve exist right now. The feeling of him in you, aggressively claiming you is everything. You cry in relief and frustration. It’s not long before you feel the warmth of his cum fill you. He pulls out and sits back on his knees, panting from the exertion. You crawl away and sit with your back against the wall.

“I’m so tired,” you whisper.

Steve pulls his shirt off and walks over to you. He hands the shirt to you and you put it on, letting the warmth and woodsy smell calm your shaking body. He pulls you into his lap.

“I am too.”

You cry in his arms until your tears eventually disappear and Steve’s heart rate goes down.

“Why keep fighting?” Steve asks

You look up at Steve.

“Why force me?”

Steve thinks for a beat before answering.

“I want you.”

“I want me too.”

You cuddle into Steve and close your eyes. This is the first time your anxiety has calmed in almost three years. He picks you up and carries you to his car, strapping you in before getting your things. You look out the window at the woods and reach down to your ankle, feeling the tracker.

You drive in uncomfortable silence for the entire ride. Steve reaches his home and turns the car off.

“What are you going to do to me?”

Steve ignores you. He gets out and goes around the car, opening your door. You tentatively get out and start walking with Steve to his house. The pack Alphas are waiting on the porch.

One by one each Alpha runs to you and pulls you into a big hug.

You all go inside and Steve makes a pot of coffee, handing you a mug. Thor sits beside you on the couch and puts his arm around you. Everyone is quiet and your anxiety starts building.

Tony sits in front of you and holds your hand.

“We’re happy you’re back.”

“You’re not angry?”

“Oh no, don’t think we’re not also pissed.”

You sink into the couch.

“This.” he points to the tracker on your ankle. “Will never come off.”

your mind starts whirling with ideas to remove it.

“Hey.” He snaps in front of your face.

“It can’t come off, trust me.”

You nod.

“Is the… is the tracker it or is there another punishment?” you ask.

The Alphas give you a sad look and Tony shakes his head.

“What else are you going to do?” you say barely above a whisper.

Carol comes and hugs you, shushing you.

“It’s going to be ok, we just want what’s best for you.”

They stay for the day, talking and asking questions about the years you were gone. Your anxiety starts growing the longer they’re there and they can all tell. The sun starts to go down and they each give you a hug and say their goodbyes.

Steve pours himself a glass of whiskey and takes a sip.

“Go to bed doll.”

You walk to your room and pull out the top drawer where you kept pajamas. You pick up the dark green chemise and hold it in your hands, feeling the soft fabric. Steve comes in and takes it out of your hands, slipping it over your head.

“Did any of it actually make you happy?”

“In some ways.”

He sweeps you up and carries you to the bed, climbing in after you and placing his arm over your body protectively.

---

The first thing you notice when you wake up is the absence of Steve's warm body. Then you notice the handcuff. You look around and see Steve standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. You start shaking your head and pull your arm against the cuff.

“Steve.” you whimper.

He turns away and closes the door.

It takes a full twenty four hours for you to start breaking down. The panic comes and goes and your wrist becomes covered in blood and bruises. After two days you give up any hope. This is where you die. You close your eyes and wait.

Steve unlocks your hand and gently pulls you up to a sitting position. He holds a sports drink to your lips and helps you take small sips. You can’t stop shaking, your body weak from lack of nutrients. Steve takes the handcuffs to the closet and you hear beeping and the sound of a safe opening and closing. You take small sips of the drink while Steve fills a bath. He undresses you and carries you to the tub, getting in behind you and carefully cleaning you.

“It’s ok i’m here now doll, you’re ok.” He says, kissing your shoulder. You stare ahead, not able to respond.

After the bath he covers you with a towel and brings you out to the living room.

He leaves you on the couch and walks to the kitchen. You eye a small statue next to you and pick it up. You hold it in your hands, feeling the weight and eyeing a sharp point on one end.  Steve comes back with a glass of water and a piece of toast. He crouches in front of you making eye contact and waiting. You grip the statue and close your eyes then slowly put it back where it goes. You drop your head to one side baring your neck. Steve pulls the towel down and runs his hand over your mark. He takes a seat next to you and guides you down so your head is in his lap.

“You were always going to end up here.”

He terrifies you. He forced you to mate with him, almost beat you to death. controlled everything about your life. He left you for who knows how long chained to a bed until you broke into a thousand pieces, forcing you to rely on him to glue you back together.

He smells like home though. He’s like a lighthouse, guiding you through a storm. Always there no matter what you do or where you run. You can’t escape him.

“I know.”

[moonyswolfie]

Seer

Remus Lupin x Potter!reader

Warnings: panic attack, angst, mentions of death

“Harry, mama loves you. Dada loves you.”

“Lily, take Harry and go! It’s him! Go! Run! I’ll hold him off-“

“Sirius Black was – and remains to this day – Harry Potter’s godfather!”

“Not only did Black lead You-Know-Who to the Potters that night, but he also killed one of their friends, Peter Pettigrew.”

“The ones that love us never really leave us.”

“I can’t leave him!”

“Stay close to me.

Always.”

“The boy must die.”

“I don’t want your help!”

“I’m sorry, I never wanted any of you to die for me.”

“Nice one, James!”

“Avada Kedavra!”

The images were changing fast, too fast for you to piece them all together. You woke up with a scream, tears rolling down your cheeks, but you couldn’t open your eyes. You tried catching your breath, yet no intake of air seemed to be enough. When you opened your eyes, four boys were watching you with very worried expressions.

“Love, what’s wrong, what did you see?” Sirius asked, grabbing your hand gently and moving his thumb in small, soothing circles on the back of it. You couldn’t answer it though, as you were in the middle of a panic attack.

You felt Remus’ arm wrap around your waist, bringing you closer to him in an attempt to calm you. You buried your head in the crook of his neck while squeezing Sirius’ hand , trying to regulate your breathing enough to reassure your friends.  You couldn’t, after all, tell them what you’ve seen. It was against the law and they knew it.

“N-nothing. I just- I’m sorry I woke you guys. Just a bad dream, s’all.” you said, voice still shaky from the visions.

“That was more than a bad dream, Y/N! You saw something, how bad was it?” James asked, losing his patience. He was worried, they all were.  

You turned towards your twin brother, but you couldn’t meet his gaze.

“Deadly” you whispered.

You started having visions before you came to Hogwarts, and not all of them were bad. Back then you’d have very few and far away, but as you grew older, they came more often. You’d have them at all times of day, but most of them during the night, usually waking you (and your roommates) up.

Since you started dating Remus, you spent more nights in the boys’ dormitory and while they assured you that they weren’t bothered by you, just crazy worried, you still felt bad when you woke them in the middle of the night. Like now.

James sighed and raised from his kneeling position on the floor, kissing your forehead and going back to his bed, Sirius following quickly after he kissed the top of your head. You smiled at the gestures, they were the best brothers you could ever ask for.

The last to rise from the foot of the bed was Peter, who gave you a small smile that you didn’t return. You couldn’t, not after everything you’ve seen tonight.

*

It pained you, to keep quiet all these years, but you knew that sharing this knowledge would only make things worse. It was a warning that both Dumbledore and McGonagall gave you that night, when you slipped out of the boys’ dormitory and went to seek their wisdom.

“Miss Potter, what are you doing out of bed at this time of night?” McGonagall asked, rather surprised to find you knocking on her office door.

She took in your current state, the tears now dried on your cheeks, the hand you were constantly dragging through your hair and your eyes, showing your conflicted mind.

“I need your advice, Professor.” you never came to her before regarding your visions, despite her constantly assuring you that her door was always open. “I saw something, tonight, and I…I don’t know what to do. I know I can’t tell them, but how could I let it happen?”  

You buried your face in your hands, shaking your head as if trying to get rid of the images that were plaguing your mind. McGonagall raised from her seat behind her desk and approached you, placing a hand gently on your shoulder.

“Come, dear, I believe this is a conversation that Professor Dumbledore should be a part of.”

You nodded and walked slowly towards the Headmaster’s office.

Yet watching it all unfold now, you couldn’t sit and do nothing.

“James, a word?” Sirius asked, dragging your brother out of the room.

You closed your eyes and took in a long breath of air, exhaling softly a moment later. You couldn’t. you shouldn’t. And yet…

You sprinted down the hall and pushed open the door of the small bedroom, interrupting James and Sirius mid-conversation. They both looked at you, confused expressions gracing their features.

“Don’t. Please, don’t make Peter the secret keeper.” you uttered between gulps of air.

James’ expression turned from confused to surprised, then slightly annoyed.

“Look, Y/N, I don’t know how you found out about this, but the decision has been made. I know you don’t like Wormtail all that much, but he is our friend.”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you, James! He isn’t your friend and he cannot be trusted!” you yelled.

“What on earth are you talking about?” Sirius inquired.

“I...I can’t talk about it, you just have to trust me on this, please.” you tried again, to which your brother only rolled his eyes.

“It’s safer that way, Y/N. Voldemort expects us to make Sirius the secret keeper, which will cause the best distraction. He’ll never know who the real secret keeper is. It’s a sound plan, sister.”

“Then make me the secret keeper. Keep up your charade, tell everyone what you will, but choose me. You know I can be trusted.” you begged.

“No, we can’t risk your life like that.” Sirius said and his tone suggested the decision was final.

You had only one option left, consequences be damned.

“I had a vision, James. I saw it happening, I saw you dead, that’s how I know about your stupid plan.” you said, looking him straight in the eye.

James sighed and that’s when you knew. He didn’t believe you.

“Visions can change, you said so yourself.”

“Yes, if the person in cause changes their mind!” you retorted.

“Y/N, Sirius and I have a lot to discuss. Leave us, please.”

You left the room and closed the door behind you, almost knocking into your boyfriend on your way back to the living room. He took your hand and led you to the chamber the two of you shared.

“I take it he didn’t listen?” Remus asked, pulling you to his chest when he saw the tears streaming down your cheeks.

You shook your head and held onto him tight.

“Tell me what you saw, darling.” he whispered, kissing the crown of your head.

And you did. Remus listened to your every word and tried his best to fight back his tears when you told him of your friends’ deaths.

“He doesn’t believe me, Remus. He thinks the visions change all the time but they don’t.”

“I’ll talk to him later, try to convince him to change his mind.”

You nodded, but you knew he won’t succeed. Once your brother made up his mind, there was no changing it.

*

You nearly fainted when you heard the news. Dumbledore had sent an owl to yours and Remus’ house, bearing the news.

They survived. James, Lily and Harry, they were all alive and well.

James trusted you. He believed you. You didn’t know how Remus convinced him, but what you knew was that your brother was alive, that he and Lily would get to raise their beautiful son together and that Harry will grow up surrounded by love.

You were clutching the letter to your chest, stained with tears of relief, while your other hand was making soothing circles over your baby bump, when your husband joined you on the living room couch.

“My love, what’s wrong? Is it the baby?” Remus asked, worry written all over his face. As your due date was nearing, the baby grew more restless, which worried him immensely.

“No, the baby’s fine, my dear. Here, Dumbledore sent news.” you handed him the letter.

You saw the relief taking over his handsome features as he read, and let out a small laugh. Then, he seemed to remember something.

“But what about the vision?”

“They can change only if the person changes their mind. I don’t know how you convinced James to reconsider, but thank you, Remus.”

“I didn’t, Y/N. He told me there was no going back when I spoke to him, that it was all done.”

A screech broke the sudden silence, as an owl entered through the kitchen window and delivered a letter into your lap. You opened up the envelope, smiling at the sight of James’ messy handwriting.

I’m sorry I had to keep you in the dark, sister,

but I had too much to lose to risk sharing my plan.

I’ve always believed in you, my favourite fortune teller.

Your loving brother, James

You smiled at the nickname he used to call you when you were kids and your visions were still so new. It always bothered you back then, but you were happier than ever reading it now.

“I say we should pay them a visit soon, what do you think?” Remus asked, having read the small note over your shoulder.

“It’s settled then.” you agreed, leaning into him and placing a kiss to his lips.

[soldmysoultootomeboys]

Jealous Brothers

Writing asmo > Trying to write anyone else

idk why hes just so much fun to write for

Lucifer

You didn’t mean to see them

Lucifer had some errands to run in the human world and you decided to tag along. I mean when you heard how close he would be to your old home town you were eager to go. Sure you might love the Devildom but that didn't mean you weren't a bit homesick for some old sights.

You don't even notice them at first. The thing that alerts you to their presence is the sound of someone yelling before you're tackled into a hug. 

You immediately recognize your best friend and are just as excited

Lucifer is confused af???

At first glance he had naturally assumed that they were some sort of assailant. As rare as it was for someone to attack him in the devildom the human world does not carry his same reputation. 

But when you go to hug them back he realizes that something else is going on

You explain that this is your best friend and practically beg him to let them tag along

He's reluctantly agrees (Still a bit annoyed that he is once again interrupted on what is supposed to be an outing alone) 

But how much trouble could one human cause?

A lot is what he realizes. It's not the trouble itself but the fact that your friend is so...close with you

Always clinging to each other, an arm wrapped around a waist, hugging as you walk, holding hands during breaks, as if you would die without their touch

Were you really so touch starved? Had he not provided you with more than ample opportunity to do the same with him?

Every little touch you gave them was one he had claimed

He had reserved your attention (even going as far as to make up some business on why he was visiting your home in order to catch your interest) and now some interloper was once again stealing you away

The jealousy continues to build as you travel 

When it's finally time to bid goodbye (of course with a million hugs and promises to see each other again) he practically drags you away. It's time to take responsibility for your actions and see exactly how jealous you made him

Mammon

It had been pretty hard to make friends in the Devildom, or at least at first

No one had wanted to get close to the new exchange student, unless it was for some other nefarious purpose. So making your first friend (that hadn’t wanted to eat you) was a pretty big deal!

Sure things were no longer so tense with your classmates, (contempt breeds familiarity or something like that) but that doesn’t mean that you should forget the first demon outside the brothers that bothered to look past all of that

You hadn’t been able to spend much time with him thanks to the brothers who seemed to get caught up in some crazy scheme every week, so you decided to invite your bestie over for games and movies

If only you had considered how some of the other demons in your life might react to that

The two of you are cuddling when Mammon walks in. You leg over his thigh with one of his clawed hands curled in your hair, the two of you are the picture of (platonic) love. Well to anyone but Mammon

He freezes when he sees the way you wrap around each other

And then he explodes

"Oi MC! Who is this person!!! Why are they in your bed with you?!!"

You're quick to jump up wanting to introduce your first best friend to your first demon. Why wouldn't you want the most important men in your life to get along?

Mammon does not agree in the slightest.

He doesn't even try to hide it. 

After his initial outburst he’s quick to complain about anything this ‘other man’ does, even if its something as harmless as getting a glass of water. After being kicked out from your room (for some reason humans don’t like being yelled at, who knew) he resorts to petty mischief. Like any good demon he immediately decides the best course of action is to prank Lucifer and blame it on your friend. 

Like any competent demon Lucifer sees right through his act.

But what else can Mammon do when every cutesy giggle and gently hand holding is like an arrow to his chest. You were the one person who didn’t treat Mammon like shit. He couldn’t just lose you...right? Even if you were happier without him. Even if…

The final straw is when you call your friend ‘love’ cradling his face. Mammon's heart breaks right there. 

He sulks in his room for the rest of the time your visitor is there, refusing to leave even when you call for him. But the door is unlocked (a sort of last ditch effort for your attention) and when you walk in you find him moping in the corner. It takes a lot of reassurance and cuddles to remind him that ‘Mammon will always be your number one’ even if you have other friends. He lets you off with a promise that you’d spend as much time holding him as you did your friend. Not that he wants to cuddle or anything (he says arms open wide). It’s just that it's only fair.

Levi

Levi’s the avatar of envy. He knows that. It's in his blood, his very being, to be upset when something takes what's his. 

He didn’t get some cool sin like his brothers. No passionate wrath just burning to be unleashed, no pride holding his head high above the clouds where thoughts of jealousy can’t even touch. He was stuck with a disgusting secretive little thing that stewed in his chest and consumed his very being.

It whispers to him at night, tells him about everything he could have. Things that would be easy if he was better or stronger or just not him. It points out the way you linger in his brother's presence and how if he’s not careful he will lose you.

That being said he’s not even surprised to see you with someone else

Of course you have better friends. 

I mean Levi was just some otaku you got stuck with. You probably wouldn’t even give him a second glance if you had met somewhere else. He gets it. He knows more than anyone how toxic he is, but do you have to cuddle with someone else right in the middle of the living room?

That's such normie shit.

His jealousy is obvious. He’s the avatar of envy he doesn’t know any other way.

So he continues to send dirty looks to your friend or mutter under his breath (in easy to hear tones) about how ‘it’s totally not fair’

If he’s confronted he’s the type to completely and vehemently deny it. He’ll glare and keep his distance but catch him in a hug and he will completely break down, already melting into a needy puddle even as he attempts to escape your grip. Because that’s just what he was, weak. He doesn’t have an all consuming hunger or glamorous lust, all he has is envy. Something so weak that it melts in your presence. He’s a demon, he should be filled with his sin. But when you lay your hand on his cheek like that it all seems to disappear. And maybe that isn’t so bad.   

Satan

He knows he can't hurt the new ‘friend’ you brought home. You would be so upset and that's the last thing he wants.

It doesn't stop him from wanting to throw them through the nearest window though. 

He tries to think of it logically.

Humans are pack animals of course you've formed bonds like this. It would be more concerning had you not. He should be happy you had such close friends to share your struggles with. 

But then they grab your hand holding it between theirs, and he wants to break each and every one of their tiny fragile fingers. 

Eventually he’s forced to distance himself in his room to avoid such a situation.

He curls up with a good book but he just can't focus. All he could think of is how their arm is probably curled around you right now. Maybe you’re even holding hands or cuddling. The thoughts stew in his head like a black fog running in circles as he imagines everything you might be doing. 

He's finally distracted from his thoughts when he hears the click of the door. He picks up his book so he can pretend like he was reading the entire time.

You step in having wondered where your favorite demon had disappeared to. 

"You're not with your new friend?" He can't help the coldness of his tone, but when you flinch he regrets it. You don't deserve it. Even if you did make him jealous. 

When you explain that they went home the tension dissolves from his shoulders and he puts his book down with a relieved sigh.

Asmo

He's not jealous. He's NOT.

He's had plenty of lovers and never had he been so attached to one that he was not willing to give them up in favor of a better prize.

He's the avatar of lust its just not who he is. 

Or at least that's what he tells himself when he sees the demon currently splayed over your lap. 

You had met her through Asmo.

After dragging you to yet another party he had introduced you to one of his friends. Immediately you hit it off and he was glad that he seemed to have found a new squad to party with. 

Cue two weeks later with the two of you attached at the hip and Asmo the unfortunate third wheel

It was a role he had never played before and the fact he introduced you made it even worse. 

So he butts in. It’s only natural to want to sit near you and he does, wrapping his hand around your waist to get your attention. You hardly even notice! You’re so busy talking with her you only give him a friendly shoulder bump in response.

Asmo resists the urge to glare down at the other demon. She looked so comfortable resting over your legs, one hand intertwined with yours.

That was his spot. Something reserved especially for him and reinforced by the fact that he was the only demon in the house small enough to not completely crush you when he sat down. So why were you letting her sit there?

You laugh at something that women says running your free hand through her hair in response.

That was supposed to be for him!!!

 Hardly able to take it anymore he does what he does best. Get attention. 

"MC!" He whines clinging to your shoulder and rubbing his face against it in a needy display of affection. "You're not even paying attention to me."

You toss the hand not holding that homewrecker over his shoulder pulling him close, a gesture he accepts even if it's not the one he wants. 

He sits in a pouty silence until she leaves before dragging you off to his room. He pushes you on the bed so he can sit in your lap and cradle your face making sure every ounce of your attention is directed to him. He kisses you, once, twice, smearing lipstick marks over your face, a needy, impatient, mess.

"Why were you being so nice to her?" He whines against your lips. "Your eyes should be reserved for me." 

He doesn't let you go until he's reassured that you like him way more than her. 

Beel

Beels never been a terribly jealous person.

He knows realistically you're bound to have other friends, it's just who you are. Demons and angels alike flock to you. 

But when he actually sees the stranger curled up next to you he's filled with a feeling that's almost worse than his hunger. 

Mammon had brought them home, a mutual friend of a friend or something like that. He hadn’t been paying too much attention at the time. He wasn’t sure where Mammon was, but he had heard the screams coming from Lucifer's room so it wasn’t hard to guess. Thus leaving you with a strange new demon. Alone.

This was fine...

Beel takes it out on the kitchen, eating almost twice as much as before to fill the ache in his gut

It doesn’t help, not even a bit

So he turns to working out, trading in snacks and empty calories for sweat and stress. He can’t bring himself to leave the house, not with you and a stranger together, so he retreats to his room, extremely in tune with the way your scent mingled with his. 

This was fine, he reassured himself, lifting his heaviest weight yet. You had always made friends easily, this was no different. It’s not like you would fall in love with them or something.

I mean think about how his Fangol practices would go. With you in the stands, practice turned into all out war, with each demon competing to show off in front of the exchange student, not that you’d ever seemed to notice. Even his teammates who had once mocked you behind your back had changed their tune, brightening when you came by and puffing up in pride when you complimented them. 

It was even worse when they won a real game. You would rush down from the stands to congratulate him and he could feel every one of his teammates eyeing your every move, hungry, but this time not for a fresh meal.

It left him with an uncomfortable feeling. But he’d place his big hand on your shoulder and you’d smile up at him and the feeling would disappear. Because at the end of the night you would be going home with him, no one else. 

Maybe that made him possessive, so what. You came to his family first, you protected them and cared about them. Or at least he hoped you did. Because he cared about you. How could he not.

But now you were here, with some stranger.

When he finally came out your friend was gone and he was filled with relief. 

But the feeling didn’t dissipate, not entirely, or maybe he just hadn’t noticed it before. But when Mammon grabbed your hand to pull you away or when Asmo would kiss your cheek it came back.

If he was a bit needier from then on you didn’t remark on it. He couldn’t help wanting to cling to your side or press into your every touch.

Maybe...maybe he should be more wary of his brothers after all. 

Belphie

He doesn't even notice at first. He's so busy napping he's not even awake to see you come home with someone else.

But when he finally moves from the particularly nice section of couch he had been lying on in order to find you for cuddles he is NOT happy to find a new demon on what he claimed as his.

This meant war.

He glares at them sending every bit of loathing he had their way before flopping onto your side. Here came the slow process of invading your lap, in a terrible contest of who can take up the most of your space. Jokes on them, Belphie was an expert at tricking his brothers away from you. 

Through sheer patience and willpower he manages to push them away so he can take up the entirety of your space. 

Before they can even leave he’s asking you to never see them again, probably right to their face

He had enough competition from his brothers, he wouldn’t stand for anyone else getting in his way

[peakyxtommy]

Kidnapped - Thomas Shelby x Fem!Reader

Summary: Tommy Shelby and his wife are going to have their first baby in a week. She gets kidnapped due to Tommy’s business dealings. He has to find her and their unborn baby in time. (Requested By: @babylooneytoonz​) 

WC: 3.6K

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Mild Violence 

A/N: Sorry this took me so long to complete. Thank you so much for your patience, greatly appreciated. I hope you enjoy this and I really enjoyed writing this!! 

It was starting to get colder in Birmingham, as December was almost here with Christmas right around the corner. You had one week left until it was time to give birth to the growing baby in your stomach. You couldn’t have been happier for the arrival of your first born son. When you found out the news you were excited and a little nervous to tell Tommy, unsure of what his reaction was going to be. After the initial shock of the words left your mouth, he was just as happy as you to have his baby. He drove you just as wild as you drove him during these past almost nine months. 

You put up with his over-protectiveness of always having someone travel with you where you went, having to let the maids help more than usual, and helping him deal with his doubts about becoming a father. Always reminding him of how much you trusted him and how he cared his best but showed it differently than others. He dealt with your morning sickness, cravings, mood swings of where you’d get angry with him over small things, sad over things that were normal or didn’t make you cry before, and your changing body which he always made sure you felt loved and comfortable in whatever you were wearing. He was sweet, supportive, and helpful as much as he could be through the whole pregnancy. 

Today was no different as you found yourself getting a little fussy and annoyed with how cleaned and prepared everything was becoming for the arrival of the baby. Being stuck in the house the past few days because of the snow didn’t help. You finally convinced your husband of two years to let you come to the betting shop with him. 

“Can you please help me put my shoes on Tom?” You sigh as you walk into your husband’s office. He zips up his bag as you come closer to the large mahogany desk. His blue eyes meet yours with a small grin.

“Who said you were leaving the house?” He gives you a serious look as you roll your eyes at his mocking.

“I said I am leaving this house before I burn it to the ground. If you don’t let me out, you will be burning to the ground with it.” You tease playfully, swatting him on the chest, as he pulls the chair out for you to take a seat as he begins doing up the laces. 

“Who knew I married an arsonist.” He plays along, as you stand to leave, swatting you on your bum as you make your way to the front door. 

As soon as you arrive at the office after greeting everyone and talking to the women for a little bit, you take a seat in the rocking chair, he got just for you and your growing bump. You curl up under the huge blue blanket and begin to finish reading a baby book your mother got you as he writes letters that need to be sent. It’s only a little after 1pm when your baby starts kicking around and your stomach begins to growl. 

“Tommy we’re hungry.” You speak, removing the blanket from your body. You stand folding and hanging it on the back of the chair, making your way to your husband's chair. 

“You’re hungry, how can I be of assistance.” He moves his papers to the side as you take a seat upon the desk with his assistance. His warm hands find your growing bump and begin rubbing small circles enjoying the feeling of knowing he was going to see his son soon. He could feel the love growing in his heart as the day got closer. 

“I think we want fish and chips again for the 100th time.” You laugh as you knew Tom was tired of having this meal but would indulge you sometimes but often more than not would just get a sandwich. 

“Alright, I’ll call it in. Maybe we’ll stop at the sweets shop on the way back.” His blue eyes pierce into your eyes. You couldn’t be any happier than you were to be with him. In these moments he was yours and yours only, wrapped in a little world. If only it could stay this way forever.

It’s only a short while longer until it’s time to pick up the meal. As soon as you are ready to leave with Tom, a blinder man walks in with a worried expression. 

“Tommy, there’s an emergency, you’re needed on the phone.” He nods helping you off the desk, before picking up the phone. As soon as the call ends, he explains, he's needed at one of the docks. There’s an issue with the police. He wasn’t sure if he was going to go, but decided to. 

“Sorry love, but I should be back in an hour tops.” His warm lips press into the skin on your forehead. It says all that you both need at the moment. He tells his men to go with you and make sure to get you back safely. 

If only life could be that simple for Thomas Shelby. 

-

You enter the car with Kyle, your usual driver and one of the young blinders James that Tommy recently hired. You enjoyed both their company and trusted them with your life. As you begin the drive to the restaurant you don’t notice the car tailing slowly behind you all. 

The first stop goes fine without any complications. You ask to drive to the sweet shop to pick up some treats for yourselves and the office. You go inside and talk with Dolares who owns the bakery. Picking out the sweets, when all of a sudden you hear loud gunshots outside the shop, followed by screaming on the inside of the shop. All the commotion goes quiet as you’re met with two tall guys in black hats with a golden symbol on top with guns. 

“Give Us, (Y/N) Shelby, Now!” The first guy screams waving his gun in the air.

“And nobody gets hurt!” His accomplice screams after James begins to draw his gun to take a shot. The gunshot goes off. It ends with James on the floor clutching his arm, yelling out in agony. 

“I’ll go with you! Please don’t hurt anyone else.” You plead feeling the adrenaline rush through your body with fear to your core. The guy on the right, takes your arm tightly in his, tugging you along with him, as his gun points into the crowd of scared civilians watching in horror as the first guy opens the door. They shove you into a car and blindfold you, making their getaway. 

-

The event takes longer than anticipated. By the time he gets back to the office he finds himself to be actually hungry and ready to rest for a moment in your presence before completing the never ending mountain of work on his desk. As soon as he opens the door to the shop, he can tell something is wrong. He could feel the tension as he entered the room. The workers were silent and no one was looking him in the eyes. Arthur calls him into the office, shutting the door behind them, as he walks inside to see his brothers, cousin, Polly and only one of the men he sent with him. He double scans the room noticing your missing but thinking maybe you were in the loo. 

“What’s wrong with all of you? Like like the lot of you, have seen a fucking bloody ghost.” He speaks noticing the straight faces of his family and nervousness of his younger brothers.

“Tell him Arthur!” Polly huffs, staring at the eldest Shelby brother who approached in front of his brother. 

“Listen Tom…” Arthur begins but his brother’s impatience gets the best of him.

“Just spit it out will you!” He shouts, thrashing his hands in the air.

“They took (Y/N) and the baby.” He responds and Tommy feels his blood run cold. He feels sick in the pit of his stomach and body is overcome with emotion as his head falls into his brother’s shoulder screaming out your name, as Arthur pats his shoulder, calling out reassurances to try to get him to calm down. It takes a few minutes for him to get a small grip on himself, trying not to let his mind travel to the worse case scenario. 

“What do we know so far? Where are the men I sent with her?” He asks, fishing out a smoke from his pocket. 

“James was with her when the accident occurred. He got shot in the arm, so we sent him to get patched up. He’ll be fine, but he said the men were older. Kyle said, they must have been following them for a while, before they even left.” Arthur continues to tell the information. 

“Well let's start searching the area and calling around. We’ve wasted enough time. We need to find her, she’s due any day now.” He speaks in a calm tone and claps his hands as every gets up to get to work on finding you.  

All he knew as he began his search for you was that he needed to find you and fast. He wouldn’t forgive or be able to live with himself if something happened to you and let alone his unborn son. It would be the day hell froze over and Thomas Shelby couldn’t handle going to Hell, not just yet. 

-

You hear the car go down a gravel road before making a sharp stop. You hear the doors open and slam shut, before you are forcibly grabbed to be ushered out the car and into a cold building. You can smell the makings of bread and liquor before you behind a room with a musky smell to it. Your capturer finally lets you go and releases the blindfold from your eyes. You take in the small space of the red brick walls and bags of flour on one side of the room. The room is almost completely dark except for a small light shining from the window from the inside of the building. 

“This is where you’ll stay if your husband ever comes to find you. The guy from the scene speaks in a dark tone, shutting and locking the bolt behind him. There you begin to take steps around the small room, the adrenaline finally leaving your body as you are able to calm down for a moment. It doesn’t take away the fear, making it become more prevalent than before. Your mind worries about James, the baby, and Tommy. You start to take deep breaths to soothe yourself and decide to talk to the baby in your stomach to take your mind off it all. 

“Hey little guy it’s mummy. I just wanted to let you know everything is going to be okay. Mummy is going to protect us while we’re here in this new place. Your daddy is out looking for us, I'm sure of it. He’s going to find us, I promise. All I need you to do, is to stay inside just until daddy comes and finds us. We love you.” You pace around the small dingy room, crying, as your fingers rub your stomach, while trying to get your mind off the situation at hand. 

You didn’t want to put too much stress on your body on top of this already stressful situation. It didn’t help that your baby was supposed to be coming literally any day and now you were far away from his father and family. You hoped Tommy would find you both before you went into labor because you didn’t think you could manage going through it alone, let alone in a dangerous situation as this was. As you sat down against a bag of flour, you closed your eyes to sleep, feeling your son give a small kick, giving you peace. 

-

It was two days later and Tommy was actually closer to finding out where you were. He sent calls down to the docks, Camden town, and city of London to spread the word that you were missing and to be on the lookout. He barely slept more than five hours each night, due to Polly harassing him. Telling him that he would be no good to you tired and out of sorts. Each night he could barely fall asleep with fear gripping his heart about you and wondering if you were okay. Waking up in a cold sweat of him never finding you or finding dead somewhere. 

“We know who took her! We have an address.” John speaks running into his office, as he just arrived to try to think over who wanted to target him.

“Who? Where is she?!” 

“It’s the Malone brothers, they wanted to get revenge on you for that deal. The ones with the guns and the booze. 17 Crown St London, there’s warehouses nearby.” John reads before handing his older brother the piece of paper in his hand, who began staring at it as his last resort. 

“Let’s go give them an even better deal and show them they don’t mess with Thomas Shelby.” He rages as his brother follows, meeting the others in the car as they drive off fast to London. 

-

You had been stuck in this room for two days and felt yourself getting weaker and weaker. All they gave you was small cups of water and a few scraps of bread. You wondered if Tommy was any closer to finding you or if you were going to be kept here forever. You still trusted he was going to find you, but you just hoped he would get there soon, because you couldn’t survive much longer in this condition, especially with the strain of the baby. 

-

“Start looking in all the warehouses and when you find them, save them for me.” He orders as he and the blinders began causing chaos. He and Arthur start checking warehouses together. Once they reach the third, they enter quietly. Walking down the long dark hall following the light at the end. When they get there they see the Malone brothers laughing together.

“Oi boys, sorry to crash the party, but we have some business to handle.” Arthur shoots his gun into the air. 

“Took you long enough to find us.” The eldest Craig, responds as they draw their weapons.

“Think you’ve been in the game too long, that you’re losing your touch.” Darrel, the other man snares. 

“Where’s my wife?!” Thomas close points the gun right in his face. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know. How are you sure we didn’t kill her?” He responds condescendingly, spitting. 

“If she was dead, you wouldn’t be breathing as long as you have.” He takes the the first punch

while Arthur takes the other. Both giving them a pounding and throwing firsts in his face repeatedly. He takes the blade slicing his eyes, blood splattering everywhere. He takes a moment to catch his breath, the adrenaline spurring him on his search to find you. He goes around the corner going down a corridor and he hears banging on a door half way through on the left. He looks at the bolt  taking a second to figure it out, before of twisting the huge bolt, to find you screaming for help. 

“Tommy!” Your voice cries out to him as he takes you into his arms. You can smell the stench of blood on him, but glad to be with him. 

“I’m here love, I’m Here. I’ve got you.” He holds you close to his chest for a second longer before deciding to move you out. He lifts you into his arms holding you tight to his chest, instructing you to close your eyes. Not wanting you to see the messy scene inside the building, as just hearing it was traumatizing enough. You were used to him coming home covered in blood and bruises. You never really had to hear or see physically the chaos caused, more than a good right hook. 

As soon as you get into the car safely. He wipes his face and  has as much blood as possible. Holding you into his side as you drove back home in a silence, that left the air warm. 

-

Once home, Frances and Mary greet you at the door. The doctor is on the couch waiting for you to be checked out. He gives you a clean bill of health and tells you the baby is healthy, which makes you both breathe a sigh of relief. Tommy helps you up the stairs and gives you both a hot shower. He lotions your body and dresses you in the warmest pajamas you have. He asks Mary to bring you some soup and tea for dinner knowing you had to be hungry. You just sit in silence trying to soak your safety net back in. 

Tommy just sits at the side of the bed in a chair, not sure what to say, having too much on his mind that the word vomit was ready to come out but he was holding it in. Waiting for you to make the move to release your emotions. It happens right after you finish your dinner, Frances comes saying he’s wanted on the phone. You can feel your heart drop, not wanting him to leave the room. To be out of your sight. You needed him, you needed his comfort.

“Please don’t get the phone. Stay.” You plead quietly, he tells her to take a message, rushing over to you as the dam breaks and you begin soaking his shoulder with warm tears. Tears of many emotions. 

“Shh..Shh. I'm not going anywhere love. I’m going to stay right here. Talk to me.” He pleads fingers rubbing your back in comforting circles.

“I was so scared. I knew you would come rescue us, I told him you would. You did but I can’t stop wondering if you didn’t or if you got hurt saving us.” Your fingers clutch him tightly, hiding your face in the crook of his neck.

“I was scared too, but I made you a promise on the day we started dating and when we wed, that i’ll always protect you. I’ll always save you from danger and rescue you. You’re my wife and I love you too much to think of what life would be like without you. We’re having a baby, and it’s my job to protect him. I’m sorry I got you both in that situation.”  He wipes the remainder of your tears away with the pad of his thumbs, looking into your eyes with fondness.

“You’re forgiven. I love you so much Tommy.” You pull his face to meet your to kiss the man that had your heart forever. 

“Please tell me you weren’t too hard on James. I didn’t want any bloodshed and I couldn't stop thinking about if that was our kid. I know they’re supposed to be dangerous, but I didn't want anyone to get hurt.” You speak after a few minutes of silence, the young lad making its way back to your thoughts. You  knew he trusted your judgment and trusted you even in that situation. 

You were one to hold your own and all his men respected you. When you meant business they followed your orders. With the young peaky men they respected you as much as they admired you. You got along with Finn, Michael, Isaiah, and James. They followed your orders but you would also spoil them sometimes with sweets or buying them lunch when at the office which would earn you a scolding from Tommy sometimes. That they’re meant to help and be tough, but you treated them like the growing men (boys) they were. They appreciated it secretly. 

“He’s good love, at home resting so he can get back to the gang.” He squeezes your hand in his. It’s just quiet a moment, just you two admiring the other after being away from the other. 

“Let’s get some rest, doll.” He pecks your lips, before tucking you in one your side of the bed as you turn to face his side. He slips in coming as close as possible with your bump between the two of you. You fall asleep with the comfort of your husband and quietness of your home. 

- 

It was the next morning when you awoke to aching back and cramps in your abdomen. The baby was moving around profusely in your stomach, as you decided to slip out of bed to pace around the room. Tom laid in bed with a peaceful expression on his face, snoring lightly as you stood watching the sun come up through the blinds. Having the window open just a small crack from fresh air to help alleviate the symptoms you were feeling. It’s only an hour later when you hear Tom stir, due to the creaking of the bed, the weight of his body shifting upward. His knuckles rub the sleep out of his eyes, before grabbing his glasses, off his nightstand, eyes finally coming in contact with yours. 

“What are you doing out of bed love?” His voice rasps, as you make your way toward him. 

“Couldn’t sleep, the little one in there might be ready to make his appearance.” You smile down at him, watching his expression match yours, as he entagles your fingers together. 

“I’ll keep Pol on speed dial. For now, let’s have some breakfast, as we wait.” You nod, pulling him along downstairs to eat. 

It was only after breakfast, did your water break when you were making your way to the living room.

-

Twelve hours later after a long time waiting, screaming, and then pushing all with Tommy and Polly by your side was your son, finally in your arms. He was no bigger than half a foot tall and looked adorable already even in his first minutes on the outside world. You were sitting up holding him in your arms admiring him with Tommy who was full of joy. 

“I can’t believe we made this.” He whispers, pressing a kiss against your temple. 

“Neither can I. He’s ours and I couldn't imagine doing life without you by our side.” You speak as the door creaks open, revealing the Shelby clan.

“Everyone meet Liam Michael Shelby.” Tommy says proudly holding his son in his arms as the family gathers around to take turns holding him. All congratulating you both and talking about how cute he was already. 

Tommy knew in that moment how truly lucky he was to be experiencing this moment. Although fear still gripped his heart, he knew, he would forever protect you and his son, no matter the trouble that came along.

-

Taglist:

@captivatedbycillianmurphy​

[nugnthopkns]

i’ll tell you i was wrong if you dance with me

word count: 3.3k

warnings: explicit fem!reader, slightly unhealthy relationship moment (lack of communication), mention of infidelity, cursing, alcohol consumption, a fair bit of angst

recommended listening: fred astaire | adam brock

a/n: communicate with your partners!!! also yeah this is the song from lady bird. it’s a banger

This seriously isn’t happening. 

You never fight with Travis. Communication comes easy between the two of you, but you also make it a priority to talk about your feelings. It keeps things from boiling over; both of you are known to unleash wicked tempers on occasion and have found being direct stops issues from occuring. Arguments still occasionally happen, but they’re typically over trivial things like what movie to watch or where you’re spending the holidays. Travis apparently forgot about the fact you talk to each other about things. 

He’d been upset when he came home from practice, but you were pretty sure he was fine after he woke up from his pre-game nap. Knowing he’s a superstitious person and has a lot of pressure on him to put up points, you had made the choice not to ask about what was bothering him. Throwing off his routine could have detrimental consequences. Tonight's game is tighter than it should have been, but the Flyers come out on top. Travis spends a bit more time in the penalty box than you would have liked, but everyone was getting chippy by the start of the third period. Claude tries to talk to him on the bench but he gets shut down. Whatever Travis was upset about before is still clearly bothering him, and it’s affecting his game. 

You’re following Travis home from the game, and can tell he’s uptight from the way he’s gripping the steering wheel. As you wind through downtown Philadelphia you try and prepare yourself for any bomb that could drop. Chances are that when you reach your apartment things will explode. Maybe it’s nothing; Travis is fine and just wants to be a responsible driver for once. You pull into the free spot beside his car and see him walking towards the elevator, suit jacket balled up and tucked under his arm. This won’t be good. Trying to buy yourself some time, you take the stairs. Seven flights later you arrive outside your door; he left it unlocked, which gives you a sliver of hope things will be fine. 

“Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?” you call into the darkness of the apartment. Your sneakers are left at the door and to retreat towards the bedroom, looking for a sign of life. You find one in the bathroom: the light is on. A gentle push on the door reveals your boyfriend is in the shower and ignoring you. 

“Trav?”

“Yeah,” he huffs, words muffled by him tossing his head back to rinse the shampoo of his hair. Apparently the shower isn’t as relaxing as he had hoped. 

You don’t bother to tread lightly, upset that he’s acting like a child. “You’re being an asshole. I get that you had a bad day, but you can’t take it out on me. I just want to help.”

Travis turns the water off suddenly. “Can’t help if you’re the problem,” he scoffs. 

His statement doesn’t make sense. You’ve done nothing out of the ordinary the past couple of days; nothing that would warrant the behaviour you’re receiving. “What do you mean?”

Shouldering passed you to exit the room, Travis doesn’t bother to respond. You’re beyond frustrated: partners in healthy relationships communicate, not show emotions like grade schoolers. “You’re not giving me the fucking silent treatment Travis. You gotta talk to me.” The bedroom is dark when you enter and you flick the overhead light on to see better.

“You really don’t know?”

“Of course I don’t know,” you seethe. “If I did know we wouldn’t be in this predicament because we’d be solving the issue.”

The glare you receive is sharp enough to cut stone. He pulls on a t-shirt, anger clear in the aggression he does it with. “Why did I have to find out from Carter that you’ve been getting coffee with your TA?”

You’re shocked. In no way is it what he thinks it is. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you sigh, upset that Travis would take someone else’s words at face value and not talk to you about it. 

“I’m dead fucking serious Y/N. You preach communication, but it looks as though you’re the one who hasn’t been doing enough talking.”

The room around you starts to spin. You can’t comprehend what he’s insinuating. “Wait, you think I’m cheating on you?” you ask. There has been a gross miscommunication error somewhere; never in a million years would you think of having an affair.

“I didn’t say that.”

“Well what the fuck did you say?”

Travis tugs at the roots of his hair in frustration. He doesn’t answer immediately, pacing the length of the bed a few times. “I just–” he struggles to articulate his words. “I just said that you’re being a bit hypocritical, don’t you think? You’re standing here yelling at me because I didn’t voice my concerns, but you haven’t been talking to me about what’s going on in your life.” Travis’ tone is sharp, and it stings. 

It’s your turn to show how upset you are. Your hands curl into fists at your side, and you squeeze your nails into your palms before releasing them. “I do tell you what goes on in my life Travis,” your breathing ragged as you try to not lose your cool. “I ran into my TA at the coffee shop yesterday, and he paid for my drink because my card wouldn’t work. Didn’t think it was breaking news, sorry I don’t send you every single fucking life update that happens. What’s gotten into you?”

“You could have been cheating!” 

“But I wasn’t!” you scream, no longing caring about keeping up appearances. You can’t believe Travis would think that. It hurts. “And I never would! You know this”

He turns his back to you, like it pains him to look at you, but you don’t understand why. You're not the one suggesting infidelity. “That’s it? That’s all you’ve got to say?” he seethes. 

“That’s all there is to say! There’s nothing to explain, no secret to uncover. I’m not in the wrong here.”

“And you think I am?”

You look at Travis like he has three heads. “Are you serious? You’re the one who’s so fucking upset over a situation that could have happened to literally anyone.” Your tone suggests that you’re exhausted with the conversation, and Travis gets the hint. 

He slinks towards the door, still visibly angry. “I’ll take the couch tonight,” he grits out before tightly gripping the doorknob and shutting the door with more force than needed. 

The bed doesn’t look appealing, full of much happier memories, but fighting with Travis has knocked any and all energy out of you. You gingerly pull back the covers and slip underneath. Tears trickle down your cheek as you toss and turn, trying to fall into some sort of slumber. However, your mind has other ideas, replaying the blowout. You can’t begin to understand why Travis is so bothered by the instance, and more importantly why it caused him to disregard a fundamental part of your relationship. There’s little movement from beyond the door, but you can hear the faint noise of a Johnny Cash record playing from the speakers in the living room. After hours of staring at the ceiling your eyes close and a fitful sleep follows. 

You might have gotten nine hours of sleep, but you wake up feeling exhausted. Fighting with anyone drains you, but fighting with Travis is especially terrible because it rarely happens. There doesn’t seem to be any movement from the other side of the door; maybe he’s still asleep. You refrain from heading into the kitchen, unsure of what will happen if you see him. After nearly twenty minutes you can’t wait any longer to start your day and pad into the main living space. It’s empty: no sign that Travis has been there for many hours. Guess you don’t have to immediately deal with the fallout of last night. 

A post-it note is tacked onto the fridge handle and your heart skips a beat. In Travis’ chicken scratch it reads I’ll see you at the gala tonight. We’ve got media all day and I won’t be back in time for us to go together. There’s no mention of the fight, and you can’t judge from a two sentence note whether or not he’s still pissed off. 

“Fuck,” you groan. “The gala.” Tonight’s the annual Flyers Give Back gala, and you’re expected to be in attendance. It’s not even a charity event; the organization is offering a chance for business men to chat up the players in hopes they continue to donate. You find things like these unbearable and tedious, but Travis does his best to make them enjoyable. Not knowing what page you’re on with him is going to be terrible. There’s a pretty good chance he’ll ignore you if he’s still upset. 

As if someone is reading your mind, the better halves group chat starts to explode. Everyone is chattering excitedly about tonight, and under normal circumstances you’d be excited to see them in such a relaxed setting. It’s been a while you’ve all hung out, but you can’t find yourself to contribute to the conversation. You mute the notifications and do your best to move on with your day. The rest of the morning is spent working on your thesis; mind numbing work that almost makes you forget about everything that happened in the past twenty-four hours. Once you’ve hit an acceptable word count for the day you shutdown your computer and make lunch. 

The grilled cheese sandwich you eat while watching a John Mulaney comedy special fulfills your appetite but doesn’t curb your dread. You decide to call your sister, hoping she can be a welcome distraction. Dialling her number you sink further into the couch cushions, wrapping yourself tightly with a blanket so that only your head is poking out. “What’s up?” she asks, and you hear her shuffle in the background, presumably to move somewhere more private. It isn’t normal for you to call her unannounced. 

You hold it together for approximately two seconds. The tears start and they don’t stop. Every emotion you’ve felt since getting home last night comes to the surface, and before you know it you’re sobbing into the receiver. 

“Woah, slow down,” she says. “Y/N, take some deep breaths.” When your breathing returns to a somewhat regular level she continues speaking. “What happened?”

It takes you nearly twenty minutes to tell the whole story because you’re so distraught. No detail is spared, and you go back much farther than is probably needed. You recount what happened after yesterday’s practice, pretty much the entire game, and the fight that followed. “I just don’t know what brought this on,” you sniffle. “We don’t fight, we talk about things. I’m not sure if I’m more upset at what he insinuated or at the fact he broke a cardinal rule.”

Your sister sighs, and you hear her breath fan in slight annoyance. You’re worked up about something kinda stupid, you know, but you can’t let it slide. “It’s probably a bit of both. So, what are you going to do?”

“What can I do? I know that we need to talk about what happened, but a public event is not the best place to do that. I also can’t not show up or ask Trav to ditch in order to figure this out. We have to be there.”

“Sounds like you’ve got it figured out then.”

You really don’t. “What happens if he ignores me the entire night?”

She laughs and tells you to not to anything stupid, and to take your mind off of things tells you a story about your nephew eating dirt. It does the trick; you’re momentarily distracted and forget about Travis. You talk for a while longer before she has to go. “Miles is crying, will you be okay if I let you go?”

It’s your turn to laugh. “I’ll be fine,” you insist. A glance at the clock tells you it’s time to start getting ready. “I’ve gotta shower and start the process. Beauty is time consuming you know.”

Against your better judgement you open your text messages to see if there’s anything from Travis. His text thread is the same as it was yesterday and you’re disappointed. You had hoped that maybe he’d get bored between interviews and check in. With no new notifications you exit out of the application and pull up a playlist you hope will brighten your mood. The steam from the shower relaxes your tense muscles and warms you up. It’s comforting in the way a cocoon is; you practically have to drag yourself out of the bathtub. 

Your bedroom is cold and doesn’t offer the same respite as the bathroom. The music continues to float in from the hallway, and you allow yourself to get lost in it. It’s been a while since you danced around your room; it worked to cure sadness when you were a teenager. Hopefully the magic hasn’t worn off. You flail your arms, not caring how silly you look since no one is here to see you anyways, and scream along at the top of your lungs. After a few songs you feel better and return to the task at hand. The dress code is labelled as ‘black tie’ on the invitation, but that isn’t what you’re worried about. You own a million dresses for situations like this after being with Travis for so long. You don’t know what he packed to wear, and there’s a decent chance you’ll be pushed together for photos. Clashing colours will look terrible.

A quick glance through his side of the closest leaves you no clues, so you decide to be as literal as possible. Black is a flattering colour and works well with every colour combination. There’s a jumpsuit hanging in the back that catches your eye and you think it’s the perfect choice. After pulling it on you move back into the bathroom to do your hair and makeup. Everything is natural and relaxed; once again for the sake of potential photos. The clock strikes on the hour and you realize it’s time to leave. A pair of heels are slipped on and you order an Uber before locking the apartment and heading to the lobby. You had thought about driving yourself, but on the occasion that things don’t end well with Travis you’ll probably have more than a couple of drinks. 

The entire way to the venue your leg bounces up and down. It’s been years since you’ve been this nervous about being around the team. You’ve been with Travis for a few seasons now, and the organization has become a second family to you. No one is going to know about the fight and you worry they’re going to talk about your solo arrival. The outside of the convention centre is sharply decorated, and your driver lets out a low whistle at the extravagance of it all. “Thank you so much,” you gush, and exit the car. Thankfully no photographers are set up outside, and you dart inside without being seen. 

Once in the main event space, you scan for the bar. There’s no sign of Travis, which should make you more relaxed but doesn’t. What if there was an accident on the way to the venue? You have no idea where he was all or who he came with. Overthinking distracts you from your original goal, leaving you standing aimlessly in the middle of the room. 

“You look like you might need one of these,” Ryanne chuckles, handing you a champagne flute. You gladly accept and down it in two gulps. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah,” you sigh, eyes scanning to see if your boyfriend has made an appearance. 

She sees right through your facade of calm and wraps you in a tight hug. “What’s going on?”

For a second time today you explain what happened last night. There’s no judgement from Ryanne as there might have been from your sister because she understands. Dating a professional athlete isn’t easy; things like this happen much more frequently than you’d expect. Perhaps it’s all the time spent apart that makes the occasional lapse in communication so apparent. She listens quietly, full attention on you. To your credit you don’t cry this time, slightly more numb to the situation to due more time passing. It still hurts a tremendous amount. 

“He’ll come around,” Ryanne insists. “TK is a little moronic sometimes, but he’d never jeopardize his relationship with you. You’re quite literally the most important thing in his life.”

 “I know. I’m just upset because the whole thing could have been avoided.”

She offers you a sympathetic smile. “I know.” Ryanne links her arm through yours. “Let’s go find something to snack on.”

You spend most of the night with Ryanne, and occasionally Claude when he can get away from the hot-shot businessmen. Travis eventually came in, flanked by Nolan, but was immediately pulled into the politics of the night. The two of you occasionally sneak glances at each other and you tell he’s uncomfortable. You can only hope it isn’t because of your presence. It’s nearing eleven; the party has become a much more relaxed affair, and the DJ is playing sappy love songs in an attempt to get the media team some good photo ops. An intern asks the Giroux’s if they’ll dance for an instagram story and they both look hesitant. “Go on guys, I’ll be fine,” you reassure. It’s the subtle push they need to enjoy a quiet moment together. 

As if he can sense you’re lonely and feel out of place, Travis approaches you. It’s tentative, like he’s petrified you’ll turn him away, but he comes regardless. Drinks are in each of his hands and he extends one to you. When you don’t take it he sets it on the table behind you. “Hi,” he says sheepishly, fiddling with something in his pocket. 

“Hi Travis.” You’re determined not to let his presence crack your resolve; last night illuminated a big issue and it needed to be dealt with. It’s proving to be difficult because he bumps a shoulder against yours and all you can think of is kissing him senseless. 

The song changes to a Bruce Springsteen ballad, and you recognize it instantly. It played at the coffee shop on your first date with Travis all those years ago. One look at him tells you this isn’t an accident, that he had requested it specifically for the two of you. “Dance with me?”

You sigh deeply, looking him in the eyes. “Trav, this isn’t going to magically fix things.”

“I know, baby, I know,” he pleads. “I fucked up so bad last night because I was being an idiot. I wrote down everything I would do differently if I had a time machine, look.” A hand reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a piece of paper filled with his nearly illegible print. “Just one dance, and then we can go home and talk about it like I should have suggested in the first place. Let me know we’re still okay.”

If you hadn’t been in public you’re sure Travis would have been in tears. It’s not necessarily a good look to cry in front of hundreds of sponsors. He has a reputation as the goofy boy who takes no shit to uphold. “You have a lot of talking ahead of you,” you say, and let him drag you onto the dance floor. Swaying in his arms you realize things are going to be just fine. Travis loves you and you love him; there’s nothing the two of you can’t work through. 

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

taglist: @jamiedrysdales​ @kiedhara​ @tortito​ if you want to be added shoot me an ask :)

[sunlightandsuffering]

Prompt : they are both famous and secretly dating.

tbh I don't know what this is or if it makes any sense at all, so sorry anon for butchering ur prompt, but I'm a basic bitch and I like my drake, so like this is gonna be pain bcuz my favourite song on the new album is just pain and I can't stop thinking about a fucked up celebs relationship to it, just ANGST AND PAIN!! 😭😭 but those lyrics hit, can't believe I wrote a song fic ugh circa Tumblr 2015 jfc I'mma write a happier ending to this in another prompt 😂 bc someone else asked for the same thing.

Fucking Fans

I'm still working on me

Eren stands at the Met Gala, holding Mikasa by the waist, giving a cramped smile for photos and keeping her close. People call their names and cameras flash and his beloved blinks, hiding her face into his shoulder as the lights overwhelm her.

He looks down at her lovingly as some jackass reporter yells about a cheating rumour and her pretty face pinches up. Eren is quick to comfort her with his touch, both hands gripping her waist reassuringly as he decides it's time for them to go inside.

"Come on Miki," he kisses her forehead and she nods, accepting. Neither of them wants to think about those rumours, the damage and the pain they bring up is too much and it's all his fault, he knows, but he can't undo it.

The guilt eats at him and she holds his hand tighter, the despair takes him and she cuddles him at night.

They're together now but sometimes Eren wonders just how it happened, how he came back from falling so far. How she took him back when he fucked up so massively.

And I'm coming back better for you

The day he shows up on her door step again is the day of the biggest awards show of the season, the one he knows she's going to kill and probably sweep several categories. Just because she's that amazing. He finds her where he expects, in her apartment, the address Armin gave him, doing her own hair and makeup, humble Mikasa just like always, ironing out her own dress. He shows up in a suit with as many white roses as he can fit into a bouquet and ready to leave if she still hates him, which she has every right to.

But he's been through months of therapy, gave Armin control of his bank account, and check himself into rehab thrice, every time he was even inching closer to relapse.

He's not fixed, but he's better, marginally, and he wants her to know it, know he still loves her at the very least.

She opens the door, beautiful even without makeup, and wearing a white slip and her pretty red mouth parts in shock.

All he can do is hold out his roses as tears leave his eyes at seeing her for the first time in months.

Most times it was my selfishness and your helplessness that I took advantage of

It was so easy with Mikasa, she was so devoted to him. So loving and sweet, always there for him.

She'd wait up, let him do what he wanted, never wanting to stifle or control him. Too afraid their tenuous relationship would crack and they'd break up.

A part of him blames her for it, for being so willing to let him do what he wanted. She'd been passive, unsure how to insert herself, had minimal complaints, letting him ruin his life party by party, late night after late night, drugs and alcohol all of it.

But he knows he can never hold her accountable for his own actions, and the day she's finally done with his bullshit is both the best and worst day of his life. She finally says no, and it begins his path to fixing himself. Because hitting rock bottom is losing the most important thing in his life, and that's Mikasa.

You sit in the house and I be out and I know you're worried, up

The problem with her passivity is he knows it's not passivity at all, she just doesn't know what to do, how to fix him. Eren has always had a temper, and she's known him for a long time, knows he'll lash out and behave worse if provoked. So she'd reacted as best she could, leaving rehab pamphlets out, asking him to stay in and watch movies, bake with her, anything other than going out to party.

But he'd stumble home every night and see her asleep on the couch, waiting. Always there to pick him up instead of a cab, not wanting the paparazzi to get a hold of him, she was always there.

And you try and block it out

They lived in a bubble, they pretended it didn't happen. They didn't acknowledge when he was too hungover to shoot the next morning. She'd brew him coffee, get him through the day, flush his drug stash when they checked, both his saving grace and biggest enabler.

Even when he's kissing her for more than just an on-screen kiss, lips drinking her in like a man starved, and the next morning she finds new girls in his bed, she keeps quiet.

They're a mess, but every time she dutifully kicks the girls out and drags him to the shower.

I'm so sorry for letting you down

When he'd first become famous, he hadn't known what to do with himself. He'd been scouted for how many movies, tv-shows, underwear commercials, brand deals. It was a whirlwind as Hollywood found their new boy wonder, handsome, smart and a nice boy.

His best friend, and female love interest in their debut movie, Mikasa, who had followed him to Hollywood on nothing more than a whim, was equally bombarded with fame and fortune. They'd always been close, always best friends, but never quite more, no matter how much they both obviously wanted it. It never progressed beyond a few acted kisses.

Still, they got an apartment together, and Eren had thought it was the start of something great, he was living the dream. Rich and famous with his best friend, the girl he'd secretly loved since he was young.

He'd been content just to stay up late and watch movies with her before work, to visit her on set and bring her donuts. They were Hollywood's shining stars, two kids sickeningly sweet in love even though they weren't officially dating, they were as good as.

At the advice of his agent, he'd started doing more, started picking up a few other gigs on the side, modelling, but he kept it small, he didn't want to overwhelm himself, and he still wanted time for Mikasa.

It had gone well, they'd taken fame okay, and Eren had been proud, neither of them had a sex-scandal or a pregnancy scare yet. They'd even been inching towards finally being something more than just friends, a few heated looks, some on-stage kisses to finally get the ball rolling.

Then Mikasa had been cast in an upcoming romance movie and her love interest hadn't been Eren, it had been Jean.

That had been the start of his spiral.

He'd never meant for it to get so far out of control, how many movies he started doing, how many promotions. Meanwhile Mikasa, smart, brilliant Mikasa stuck with smaller projects and only ever one at a time, preferring to keep close to their apartment. He was all she had, and she was all he wanted.

Nights when I just needed to hold somebody

He misses her, lays in bed awake at night thinking about her, how long it’s been, when was the last time he saw the curve of her face in person and not in a washed-out picture on a magazine. Girls in and out of his apartment, trying to fill the empty void inside him, and nothing works, nothing ever works. Because he’d fucked it up, said he didn’t need her, told her he could do it on his own, fame wouldn’t take him. Called each other names, every one in the book, screaming matches over stupid shit, if he should take that job, what she was doing with Jean, how she was eating, if she was eating enough.

The toxicity was palpable in their apartment until finally Mikasa just left and he broke.

Feeling overwhelmed, should've told somebody

Fame takes him like a drug addiction, actually it comes with a drug addiction, heroine, cocaine, molly, all of it. In trying to ditch his Hollywood’s sweetheart, good boy image he diverts his life so radically he doesn’t know if he can ever get back to where he was. He loses weight, barely gets by, he doesn’t even understand how he’s still getting booked, but people want him even more now that he’s Hollywood’s bad boy. Meanwhile Mikasa is disgraced now that he’s ‘thrown her away’ even though it was the other way around. Last he heard she lived in a little apartment on the upper east side, leaves only to work, and to fly up to see their families. He hasn’t seen his parents in months, doesn’t want to. Doesn’t want to see the look in their eyes when they realize how skinny he’s gotten, how his body lacks muscle, skin barely clinging to bone, gaunt and lifeless.

He needs help, but he’s spiraling, he’s committed and no matter how many times Armin tries to get him into rehab, he never goes. What’s the point Mikasa is gone, he’s not getting her back, all he has now is the money, the drugs, and the women.

Picturin' it's me sending chills through your body

He hears she’s dating Jean now and somehow, he gets worse.

Every fear he’d ever had comes to life and he gets angry, his temper coming back full force. The past few months he’d barely been getting by, not really living, but his rage awakens him. She’d told him no, that they weren’t dating, never so much as kissed outside of work. What a fucking lie.

How many girls he takes home that month he doesn’t know, how many paparazzi photos of women leaving his apartment, how he dreams it’s Mikasa under him, not some rando.

He sees her on the cover of some magazine, walking innocently with Jean and it sends him into even more of a rage, but under it all he wishes it was him, doesn’t matter that they were never official, that it only happened a few times, he wants her back. But Eren’s never been good at navigating his emotions, so he clings to his rage like a lifeline.

I just probably should've chilled 'til I saw you

When they ask about her in interviews, he doesn’t answer. Not until that once, when he lets it slip and he watches Armin wilt in real time from behind the camera as he spits the words, “I think it’s obvious, she’s with Jean now isn’t she, right after she was with me, figure it out yourself.”

The insinuation is lethal, cruel, mean and he knows it’s not true, but he says it anyway. He knows she didn't do it, but still the coincidence hurts too much, the very thought that there might have been something romantic going on with them before makes him want to throw up.

The interviewer looks shocked before he brightens up at the tidbit of information, like a vulture picking apart the last pieces of his heart, massacring it further, but Eren doesn’t mind the pain anymore. It fuels his rage and that’s all he has these days.

How am I supposed to get to know somebody?

When the rage wears off months later and Mikasa has done nothing, no comment on his interviews, no appearances, no angry texts, just silence, he becomes numb. Then the sadness sets in, because losing her romantically isn’t even the worst part, he doesn’t even have his best friend anymore, he’s lost her too.

She’s become a recluse, a hermit, he hasn’t even seen her with Jean on the magazine covers lately. Distantly he knows it’s because their movie is finished filming, and she was probably never dating him in the first place.

He goes to awards shows in hopes of at least catching a glimpse but she’s gone into hiding, there’s rumours she’s back in their hometown, but he’d never visit, not with the disgrace he’s become. He tries to date seriously, tries to talk to other actresses, but it’s all so vacant, disingenuous. All they want him for is his image, there’s nothing real about these women anymore, everything is fake, plastic right down to their boobs. Nothing like Mikasa, who was pure to her core, even in the face of her fame.

If we broke it off then you know it wasn't painless

He'd cried for weeks after she'd ended it, despite it being entirely his fault.

Armin had cancelled all his engagements and Eren hadn't left the apartment, curling himself up on her empty mattress, her room a barren wasteland.

He'd only eaten when Armin forced him too, and only come out of his hibernation after his mother had called to yell, Armin holding the phone right in his ear, the first time he'd spoken to her in forever.

If she got a watch then you know it's not a stainless

He’s got money, but it means nothing. Mikasa has money too, it doesn’t even matter. What has it all been for? He doesn’t even know anymore. All he’s gotten from his acting career is trust issues, more money than he knows what do with and the loss of his best friend and the only girl he’s ever loved.

It’s all a blur now, he acts, he models, he does PR. Armin makes him a schedule and he follows it. They meet with his nutritionist and his personal trainer, and he starts working out again, eating real food, not just smoking, and drinking coffee to supress his appetite.

Armin is the only reason he’s still a functioning human being as Eren hits rock bottom. The only one left to try and push him out.

I was out here fucking fans, I was shameless

He knows he fucked up, it’s why he starts therapy.

The shit he’d done, high off his own fame and arrogance, it’s messed up and he he knows it now. All the girls, all the money and the drugs, ignoring Mikasa’s concerns, dragging her down with him.

He doesn’t blame her now, he knows none of it was fair, she was justified in leaving. They were toxic, their half on, half off relationship, how he'd commit to the drugs but never her.

He can still remember the first time he kissed her, really kissed her, Eren and Mikasa not two characters on screen. It was after their first awards show for their movie, he’d been so excited, so delightfully sober, he couldn’t help himself, she’d been so pretty in her white dress, he’d leaned down before he could stop himself. The first night they’d had sex, her moans, her soft cries of pleasure, nothing had ever measured up since.

It had been bliss, for about a month or so and then they’d really been discovered, and it had all been shot to hell.

All the fans, all the women throwing themselves at him, his eyes couldn’t help but wander despite Mikasa always being the most radiant in the room. He had her love, he’d had everything, but that insidious voice in the back of his head had wondered. Thought the grass was greener on the other side, wanting to explore fame at the same time they’d finally started their relationship.

You was at the crib reading stories that they sent you

They’d kept it casual at Eren’s insistence and Mikasa’s heartbreak, his rock had been willing to allow it for him, for the chance to finally explore their relationship. But he could see how much it hurt her, the tabloids were the worst part, every day a new cover, another apartment he’d leave, another hookup in the parking lot. And he could barely justify it to himself, why he did it, why he continued to do it? He had everything he could ever want in Mikasa, the girl he’d loved since forever, finally in the palm of his hand, willing to give herself wholly to him.

And yet fame had called him more, and the people he was hanging out with only encouraged it, the famous lifestyle, drugs, sex and rock and roll.

Everyone was doing it, so why shouldn’t he?

Most of that was bullshit but some of it I did do

The rumours spiralled out of control after a while, there was nothing he could do, it was over, they had too much on him.

He'd been telling himself lies that maybe she was with Jean on the side, that she had the same opportunities as him, she could go out and sleep around too.

As if Mikasa would ever even consider it.

He’d finally given into being exclusive, seeing the toll it was taking on Mikasa, after Armin smacked him upside the head and told him he was going to lose her if he didn’t get his shit together. Eren had finally realized how irreversibly he was fucking up his relationship, but by then, it had been too late.

When they finally started truly dating, monogamy and all, it had been far, far too late. The backlog of photos the paparazzi had was ridiculous, any opportunity they got to demonize him they took.

He and Mikasa been casual at the time of all the photos, sure, but anyone would buckle under the weight of constant articles about their significant other cheating. Eren became the villain in his own story, and Hollywood loved it, ‘Bad Boy Eren Yeager Ditches Mikasa Ackerman’. He still remembers the headline, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back, she’d come home, dropped the offending magazine on the coffee table and hidden in her room for the rest of the night. He’d slept outside her door, and the next morning he’d been woken by her stepping over him to leave, bags packed.

It was sad, they’d never even officially dated to the public, they hadn’t gotten to that point. She’d wanted to reveal it at some awards show by taking him as her date, thanking him in her speech, her boyfriend, Eren Yeager. Overnight the paparazzi had singlehandedly broken them up for shit he hadn’t even done.

He had no one but himself to blame.

Hard for me to justify the women I was into

Looking back, he can’t say why he did it or what the purpose of all the models that looked eerily like her were for. Maybe he was trying to fill the empty space in his heart, maybe he felt neglected by her friendship with Jean and how obvious the man’s feeling for her were, but for one reason or another, he’d slept his way through about half of the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, and award shows were awkward these days. Meeting the eyes of all the talented women he’d hooked up with in such a professional setting was uncomfortable at best.

How many more did he not even remember, to high off drugs and alcohol and his own ego?

Especially when the whole entire world wished they had you

He’d seen it in how Jean looked at her the first time they’d walked the red carpet as promotion for their movie. The tall man was a b-list actor and he’d been invited to the pre-screening, and he’d watched Mikasa the entire night. His gaze wasn’t moved by Eren’s arm wrapped protectively around her waist or his chin resting on her head, nor the possessive hand on her thigh.

They hadn’t even been fooling around back then, but he couldn’t help himself, he didn’t want Jean’s eyes on her. She was also Mikasa Ackerman, and the whole world thought she was just as beautiful and amazing and perfect as he did.

But she was his. His best friend, love of his life, his everything

If only he’d treated her like it.

Probably made you want to hit the streets on everything

She doesn't take him to the awards show the night he comes begging, but she lets him inside her apartment. Lets him help her with her hair, something he's sorely missed. Something he's familiar with, been braiding her hair since they were kids.

He helps her put it up into a beautiful twist.

And when Jean knocks at her door to take her to the awards show he lets her go, kisses her cheek and tells her how much he loves her, how she's going to win it all and he'll be waiting her when she gets back.

And then she leaves, walks away with another man and Eren thinks he deserves it, it's his penance, how many times has she felt this same way, how many women has he been through?

Probably made you want to pour bleach on everything

He discovers not a single remnant of himself in her apartment, no pictures, no clothes she's borrowed. Even his old sweatshirt, her favourite one is gone. Hell, even their award for best-onscreen-kiss is gone.

He finds it all in a crumpled box under her bed and it's his own fault for snooping, their photo crumpled up and misshapen, riddled with water damage. Probably from her tears if he had to guess.

Probably made you want to kill me on everything

She comes home that night and Eren is surprised, he'd expected her to go to Jean's. Hadn't really believed she was going to come back. Had resigned himself to sleeping on the couch and waiting till tomorrow when she'd come home dishevelled and covered in hickeys and bruises, the kind good sex gives you. The kind he'd never really allowed himself to give her.

That's when she'd really broken and he'd been so fucking happy when she'd thrown her purse at him. No more of her her silent rage, her forced smiles. She'd kicked and screamed, cried in his arms only to hit him brutally with a pillow, chasing him to the end of the couch. Hands restraining his wrists, as she curses him out, tears running down her beautiful cheeks sparkling in the moonlight, she's a vengeful goddess and he deserves every second of her wrath.

She collapses on top of him in a heap of sobs and all he can do is hold her, hating himself just as much as he's sure she does.

Yeah, trust, I know that

He wakes the next morning with her weight in his arms, and he holds her like he never wants to let go.

He's lucky she's even here with him right now, that she didn't kick him out on the spot. That she even cares enough to still fight with him. He kisses her forehead softly, he knows.

Yeah I kinda hate this but whatever have angst 🤷🏻‍♀️

[haikyuuwaifu]

Ch.11

Genre: Drama, Angst

Warnings: Swearing, Yelling, Cheating

MASTERLIST

DID YA CATCH MY NAME, YEA

Y/N let out a laugh, as she made her way out of the elevator and down the hall. Kiyoko’s cheeks were heated as Saeko went on and on about the last time they fucked in public. Yachi merely patted the woman’s arm, a sugary smile on her face. “If you think this is bad, then I’m glad you haven’t spoken to Tsumu or Samu about their sexcapades.” Y/N nodded in agreement, pulling her keys out of her bag, as the foursome of women made their way to her apartment. “You should be so lucky Yoko, those two will go back and forth about all the things they’ve done with their boyfriends.” She mumbled, shoving the key into the lock and shifting it open.

Walking into her apartment, Y/N paid no mind to the extra shoes laying next to Tetsuro’s as she moved to shove her bags in the front closet. Making her way inside, she was expecting to see Kuroo in the kitchen. She had smelled the aroma’s wafting through the hallway. What she didn’t expect to see, was Alisa Haiba standing in her kitchen in nothing but his shirt. Her hair was mussed, and her body was littered in hickeys. The radio was too loud for her to notice that anyone had entered the home. Behind Y/N, Kiyoko stopped in her tracks, turning around and caging her girlfriend in her arms in hopes of preventing a homicide. “What the fuck is this?!” Yachi hissed quietly, hoping not to alert the blonde in the kitchen. Y/N remained silent, watching this woman move around in her kitchen as if it were own.

Kuroo heaved out a sigh, as he wrapped the towel around his waist. He needed to end things with Alisa. Y/N was due home any day now, and she was what he really wanted. She was what he really needed. What he didn’t expect, as he walked out of his bathroom, was seeing the love of his life standing in the front hall watching another woman covered in hickeys, making breakfast. At the sight of him, Saeko let out a blood curdling scream, alerting Alisa to their presence and effectively breaking Kiyoko’s hold on her volatile partner. “How fucking dare you!” Saeko screamed, shaking her fist, as she made her way to hit Kuroo. “How fucking dare you!” she snarled, ready to beat her, when Y/N tugged her back. “Don’t bother.” Y/N grunted, her voice even, her eyes lacking any readable emotion. “It’s a waste of energy anyway.” she smiled, moving toward the front closet. Turning toward Yachi, Y/N asked softly, “Can you please go get my things?” Yachi nodded, taking Kiyoko with her as both women made their way to the master bedroom.

Alisa shut the music off, waiting to finally knock the bitch down a peg. Y/N however, paid the woman no mind as she pulled her phone out to make a call. “Hey...Yeah, I’m coming to stay...I’ll tell you after practice...Deal with it later, I don’t really care...I’ll let you and tsumu pay the difference for renegging on the lease and pay you back...yeah, we’ll be out of here in no time...you too...bye.” Ending the call, Y/N turned around pulling her bags out of the front closet and setting them by the door. Making her way into the living room, Y/N began gathering her things, deciding that she’ll buy new kitchen things or use Osamu’s. She absolutely refused to give either party the attention they were seeking, as she moved around the room gathering her things. Kuroo watched on, his heart aching as he waited for her to say something. His nose was bleeding from where Saeko hit him, but he couldn’t find it in him to care as he watched the love of his life, taker all of her things. “Kitten...” Kuroo mumbled, moving to stand in Y/N’s way. Saeko’s arm reached out and tugged the taller man back, slamming him into the dining chair behind him. “You don’t get to say anything.” Saeko began, slamming her fist on the table. “Whatever you have to say is probably a lie either way.” 

Alisa merely watched, a smirk on her face. Y/N turned, eyeing the woman before letting out a chuckle. “I don’t know what you think you’ve won...” Y/N began moving around the kitchen to grab her things. “You think he’s going to date you now that he’s been kicked to the curb?” Y/N asked, her voice filled with genuine curiosity. “He’s had all the time in the world to date you, and yet your still some secret kept in the dark.” Y/N continued, as she finished up collecting her things. “When I leave here, he’s going to drop you, as I’m sure he’ll realize he’s lost the best thing to happen to him since he was a kid.” Y/N surmised, as Kiyoko and Yachi made their way toward her, bags in hand. “I hope it was worth it supermodel Haiba, because after today I don’t think you’ll be much of a model anymore.” Yachi sneered, shaking her phone in her hand. “We’ve already started outing you for the trash you are.” Kuroo could feel the tears trailing down his cheeks, as the reality set in. He wanted to say something, he wanted to beg, but under Saeko’s cold glare he felt like he couldn’t move. “Hope it was worth it Kuroo.” Y/N called, making her way to the door. “I’m sure you’ll be happier with a loose whore like her anyhow.” Making her way out, Y/N continued down the hall, effectively dismissing herself out of Kuroo’s life.

-Bokuto, Tsukishima, and Yaku were the only ones who didn’t know about Kuroo and Alisa. When Bokuto found out that his boyfriend Akaashi was aware of the situation and chose to do nothing, he broke up with him. He was absolutely disgusted. He loved Y/N. She matched his energy and she was really patient with him. Tsukki and Yaku washed their hands of the group and all three men groveled and apologized to Y/N.

-Alisa has now been bumped down to small time beauty blogger. After her downfall she left the country for a bit, only to find out she had been cancelled EVERYWHERE. Kuroo used to work at a really big company downtown, but they released him and he inevitably found himself working in the mailroom of the JVA. They are aware of what he was responsible for and have told him that he needed to prove he was worth a higher position.

Not quite used to someone new| Wonder how long I slept in

@dabilove27 @victory-is-here @that-chick212 @sempiternal-amour @amberalisa @elianetsantana @lia-faerie-queen @oppositesunchild @black-rose-29 @loveinhaikyuu @koutayoomi @renhold-nightspear @prettysetterboiss @its-the-aerieljeane @letmebreathepls @honeybeelia @a-little-pebbl @marvelousmimicry @roselleviennesstuff @trashy-simp @boosyboo9206 @osamuwu11​ @prettyinblack231​ @dabi-sunflower

[pparkerpoetry]

Face Reality (Part 5)

Title: a Home for the Lost (why were they cast aside?)

Summary: None of it went to plan.

Ranboo never planned on facing it, Tommy never planned on leaving, Fundy didn't plan on losing the one place where he belonged. Sam didn't plan on opening his house to a bunch of traumatized hybrids that would worm their way into his heart.

And yet, here they were. Here they were, together. Maybe that was the best part of it all. Part 1 Part 6 Masterlist

_____

Ranboo started learning about everything that he’d missed, like how Tommy’s wings came to be and what people had been up to. Other things, he just noticed. He was very perceptive, and it only served to isolate him from everyone more. He could tell things that other people would rather not face, like how Tommy pretended that everything was fine with Phil and Techno and himself. How he pretended that they were a family, and as they relaxed together, how he would show his vulnerability. Ranboo would’ve bought the act that Tommy believed in wholeheartedly, if not for one thing.

Tommy never let them preen his wings.

So yeah, they could all pretend in their little dollhouse that everything was fine and that their relations were fixed, but it would never be perfect. They could believe it all they wanted, but subconsciously, they knew it’d never go back to the way it was before. Maybe that’s why they so desperately put on a show.

Ranboo noticed these things. All the time, to be honest.

He also noticed that slowly, after he had returned and told Tommy why he’d left, that Tommy drifted slightly from his old family. It wasn’t a bad thing, if a little sad, because he’d found another that believed in him and wanted the best for him instead of trying to make up for using him. 

On a different note in the same tune, Sam and Puffy were angels sent from heaven. Nothing could convince Ranboo otherwise. The way they had gently pushed Tommy in the right direction, understanding how messed up he’d been and knowing that harshness wasn’t the way to fix it. Maybe that’s why when they saw Ranboo accompanying Tommy on one of his visits, they recognized his unrest.

Ranboo knew they had a past, those three. He didn’t think Tommy realized it, but they’d adopted him. They’d decided that Phil wasn’t fit to be a father to anyone but Technoblade long ago, and he was amazed at the subtle way they’d taught him to be better. Maybe they were the reason, then, that he’d matured so much. Maybe they could be his family, too.

And they were.

Phil and Techno still received visits from Tommy every now and then, and Tubbo was over most of the time because at the end of the day they were still best friends, but in their own time they realized that maybe it was best to let bygones be bygones. They’d always be close, they’d always love each other, but maybe this time, the damage was done. In this case, it was okay. It was never mentioned, it was never brought up, but it was acknowledged by everyone. He couldn’t really cut them out, not that he wanted to, but he couldn’t have even if he did, not with the constant reminder on his back that he would always be Phil’s son.

Instead, Tommy spent most of his days at Sam’s base, and Ranboo spent most of his time with Tommy, so they ended up just hanging out with Sam and Puffy more than they intended. Maybe it was all part of the plan for the two older adults.

In any case, Ranboo grew closer and more comfortable with the other three, until soon, he wasn’t quiet and reserved anymore. He wasn’t scared of his own shadow, flinching at every footstep. He was Ranboo again, and he owed it to his family. Maybe, now that he’d healed, he’d be able to face the family he’d lost.

_______________

The summer afternoon found Tommy and Ranboo under a tree, half asleep and lazy, one writing and the other talking. It was hot, and muggy, but Sam had said that he needed to do some renovations and Puffy was away. Ranboo knew she was spending time with Niki, but he had yet to go with her to see his sister.

Did that technically make Ranboo Puffy’s sister-in-law? Or was Niki now his step-mother?

He didn’t want to think on it too much. It’d just make his head hurt.

Ranboo didn’t even completely know what Tommy was rambling about, but he smiled and nodded and he did truly enjoy it. Or, he enjoyed Tommy’s company. Was there a difference?

He zoned in when Tommy nudged his shoulder. “Hey, big man, you awake?”

Rolling his eyes, Ranboo responded. “I am now. What’s up?”

“Something I just remembered, Ranboo- I, now here’s a biggie-” Tommy paused for suspense. “I know how to fly a plane, but-”

“Hold on, you can fly a plane?” 

“Yeah,” Tommy shrugged. “I didn’t appear here, a 16 year old. I had other experiences. Anyway, I know how to fly a plane but I don’t know how to ride a bike.”

“A bike?”

Tommy mistook Ranboo’s confusion for mockery. “Yeah, big man. Phil never taught me. Who taught you, if you’re such a pro?”

“Tommy, I barely even know what a bike is.” Ranboo deadpanned.

So, now, the two young men, for that’s what they were at this point, stood outside of the base that they had been told to stay out of all day. Specifically, they were to stay out of it unless it was an emergency. Was this an emergency? See, that’s where it gets complicated.

“What kind of man my age doesn’t know how to ride a bike?” Tommy argued, “We need to learn and clearly, we haven’t got one. I think that Sam might. He strikes me as a bicycle kind of guy.”

“Neither of us are dying, though!” Ranboo protested. “He’ll probably get mad if we interrupt him, too. What’s he even doing?” 

Tommy groaned. “He’s just, I don’t know, building n’ shit. It’ll take two seconds, Ranboo, come on-”

The large door opened, and though neither of them were short, they felt incredibly small. And nervous.

“Can I help you?” Sam asked, looking at his two- his uh, his two mentees. Yeah, that’s it. Mentees. That’s the word he’s looking for. Definitely not something else. At all.

The two- well, now, they looked like boys, - stared at him, anxiously, suddenly at a loss for words. 

“Well?” He raised an eyebrow. “I’m done with building, it didn’t take as long as I thought it would. What do you guys need?”

“We don’t know how to ride a-”

Tommy interrupted, “What Ranboo’s trying to say is, neither of us had spectacular father figures in our early life, and we don’t- well, really, we were wondering if you happened to have a bicycle anywhere here? I’m sure we can figure it out on our own, but we don’t have any bikes, is the issue-”

Sam laughed. “Yeah, I’m sure I’ve got a bike around here somewhere, come help me look.”

So, Sam turned and left, leaving Ranboo and Tommy to trail after him. Not like little ducklings. Not at all. More like, uh… more like… something else. Not ducklings.

After rummaging around a bit, they found one, and after a little more searching, they found another. None of them were sure why Sam, who lived alone, had two bikes (could he even ride them? He pleads the fifth. Why? You’ll find out later.), but they weren’t going to complain. Now, Ranboo and Tommy had thought that Sam would hand them the bikes and let them be off, but, to their surprise, he didn’t. He took the handles of one and walked with it over to a path.

“Hey Sam, why are you going over there?” Tommy yelled, still standing by the main entrance.

“Well, you aren’t going to bike on the grass, are you?”

Wordlessly, Ranboo and Tommy jogged to catch up. Sam stood on the pavement, holding one bike, as Ranboo walked up with the other. He handed his to Tommy, and clapped, bringing the attention back to him. 

“Alright! So, get on the bikes.” Both of the younger men knew what he was doing. They didn’t say anything, though, and obeyed. “So, when you bike, you have to stay balanced…”

They spent the afternoon learning how to ride bikes, and though it maybe wasn’t the most productive way to spend an afternoon, it was a fun and relaxing one that they all needed. It ended with Sam sitting in the grass next to the road while Tommy and Ranboo rode their bikes up and down it. They all chatted, and laughed, and they barely even heard Puffy return. At least, not until she spoke up.

“Hey guys, I’m back! And, I… I brought someone with me.”

Ranboo stopped his bike and turned to where the voice was coming from, stopping all movements abruptly. Sure, Puffy was standing there and he was happy to see her back, but right next to her, looking nervous, was Niki. Not his sister. She’d made sure of that. She was Niki, nothing more.

“Hi, Ranboo.” She said, not meeting his eyes. “It’s been a bit.”

When had Sam and Tommy left? “Yeah. Hi, Niki. What’re you doing here?” It came out harsher than he intended.

“I thought- well, I figured, now that we’ve both had a little more time to, to think about things, I thought that I could come and… apologize.”

It was a little quieter then. Niki was waiting for a response, and Ranboo was thinking of one. What did he want to do? As much as he wanted to forgive her, some of the things that she’d done couldn’t be glossed over.

“I… I forgive you.” Ranboo started, “But, Niki… Niki, you’ve got to understand, you hurt me. You hurt me a lot.”

Niki sighed. “I know. I know I did, Ranboo, but at the end of the day, aren’t you still my brother?”

His chest felt like it closed. Was he? “I’m not sure I am anymore, Niki. I don’t even know who you are.” He looked away from her crestfallen face. “But… I think I’d be willing to re-start.”

He looked back up, and Niki looked a little happier. A bittersweet cheerfulness. He held his arms open, and she ran over to give him a hug. Maybe they weren’t family anymore, but they could be. They just had to hope. This time, neither of them pulled away from the hug. They didn’t want to, but at some point, Puffy told them that it was going to get dark soon, so they needed to head inside.

Sam and Tommy were in the kitchen, making dinner, although only one of them was really working. 

Niki and Puffy stayed for dinner before heading home. It went great, and it was a very relaxed atmosphere. They chatted, made fun of Tommy when he was clumsy with his wings, and laughed every time someone made a joke. Ranboo was truly happy, and he hoped it lasted this time.

That night, when it was dark and the noises of the forest had all settled, Ranboo was thinking. “Hey, Sam, where’s the renovations you were working on this morning? I can’t tell a difference here-”

“Forget that, Ranboo,” Tommy said while yawning, wings hitting the hybrid gently. “We’ve gotta head out if we want to make it back to the cottage in time for a good night’s sleep.”

“Well, about that…” Sam said, laughing a little. “Follow me.” They did, and they followed him down a hallway to two doors, right next to each other.  “Left is for Ranboo, right is for Tommy. I mean, you don’t have to use them, and obviously you can decorate them how you want to, but…”

They each opened their doors, and they were met with little bedrooms. Not too little, but not too large, each with a bed in a corner, a chest, and some other bits of furniture. “Did you make bedrooms for us?” Ranboo asked, and once Sam nodded, he grinned. “That’s great! Could we stay the night? Please?”

“That’s kind of what they’re here for.” Sam said, and he melted inside at the happy grins that Ranboo and Tommy exchanged. “I’ll let you guys get comfy, uh, goodnight?”

“Goodnight!” The other two cheered, nearly crushing Sam in a hug before going to their rooms.

By all means, it should’ve been a peaceful night, but when there’s a traumatized hybrid involved, you never know what to expect. That night, Ranboo’s dreams were plagued with nightmares, all violent and scary and loud- he didn’t know exactly what was happening, but he knew that he was there with Fundy, on the ground and bleeding. He could feel the tears rolling down his face, this time they burned again, with new vigor, and he was forced to look the fox in the eyes as they dimmed. He didn’t know why he started crying harder, but soon he turned to see who had killed his friend, and there stood Dream, hair long from his time in prison.

“It was only a matter of time until I escaped, Ranboo.” Dream taunted. “Ranboo!”

He was scared. Was he going to die?

“Ranboo, wake up!”

And, just like that, he sat up in bed, breathing heavily. Tommy was near, but that didn’t make sense, they didn’t share a room. What was Tommy doing here? Ranboo could feel wings circling around his body, comforting and warm, as he tried to calm down.

“You alright, Ranboo?”

He managed to nod, but it probably wasn’t convincing. He still couldn’t speak. Why couldn’t Dream just leave him alone?

“Am I okay to leave, or-”

“Can you stay?” His voice sounded small, even to him, and was hoarse from screaming in terror. Sam must’ve been a deep sleeper to not wake up.

“Sure thing, man.”

They went back to sleep, then, Ranboo curled in on himself with one of Tommy’s wings draped over him protectively. This time, they slept well, and when Sam went to wake them up the next morning, he did nothing but smile and walk away. He’d let them rest. They’d more than earned it.

When Ranboo’s eyes slipped open a few hours later, he let out a small sigh. He was warm, and he was happy, and he didn’t ever want to move. He was content to have stayed in bed for hours, but then he felt the blankets behind him shift. He let out a confused little warble that sounded remarkably like a cat getting its sleep interrupted.

“What was that?” Tommy groaned. “My ears aren’t started yet. Catch me in a few minutes.”

It was more than a few minutes before they got out of bed, hair wild and eyes still half-closed despite the sun that shone through the windows. Sam greeted them with a cheerful, “Hello,” to which they responded with a vague grunt. They were very articulate in the morning, it appeared. By all means, it should’ve been a dream. It should have been the best thing to happen to him in a while, and it was. But, Ranboo couldn’t shake the underlying feeling of dread that plagued his mind. 

“Ah, what do you want to do today, Ranboo?” Tommy asked loudly, sprawled out across the couch and head lolling back. 

Ranboo thought for a moment, the pit in his stomach growing. “I think that maybe we should go on a trip today, to… to uh, to visit Fundy.”

Tommy furrowed his eyebrows and lifted his head. “Fundy? As in, my nephew, Fundy?”

Nodding, Ranboo fidgeted with his hands. “Yeah. Is that okay?”

“‘Course it is, big man. You want to go now?”

Ranboo got up swiftly. “If that’s okay. I’ve got a bad feeling.”

They bid Sam goodbye, and went off towards Fundy’s house. It took them a while, because they had to ask Niki for the coords, but they found it eventually. Fundy lived in a village that had gone unnoticed, a peaceful haven that usually would’ve been somewhere for weary travelers to rest. Now, however, the air was thick with dust and there was no one to be seen. The first houses that Tommy and Ranboo found were nothing but ruin, the ashes still smoldering. It was only after a shrill horn could be heard that they realized what was happening.

There was a raid.

They broke into a run, swords pulled out. They yelled for Fundy, and the only response they got was the sound of the Illagers that they ran towards. 

Fighting seemed to go on forever as Ranboo and Tommy slashed at the enemy, backs to each other, until finally they got a chance to breathe. There weren’t as many, though still a lot. Ranboo tried to listen harder, trying to detect even a hint of life in one of the houses. When he heard a soft whimper, he grabbed Tommy’s hand and pulled him to it.

When they saw two Illagers standing over Fundy with their crossbows out, they didn’t hesitate to throw themselves forward. They looked up over the bodies, then, and their eyes softened when they saw how Fundy curled up into himself. He was so small, and he still had his eyes tightly shut.

Tommy got up and wiped his bloody hands on his pants before going over to Fundy. “Hey, Fundy. Is it alright if I touch you?” Tommy didn’t even really have to ask, because the minute Fundy saw the blond, he latched onto his arm. Ranboo hadn’t ever seen Tommy look so awkward, slowly putting his arms around the fox that really wasn’t all that younger than he was. 

They’d all had their childhoods stolen from them, it seemed. 

Fundy was inconsolable, and Tommy motioned for Ranboo to help. They seemed to have the same idea, when Ranboo gathered the fox into his arms and they walked outside to see the still-smoking ruins of all the houses. 

When Fundy stopped crying for a moment, and opened his eyes, he did nothing but utter a small, “Ranboo?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” Ranboo said, and was surprised when Fundy closed his eyes again to burrow further into his hold. 

Sam had to do a double-take when the boys got home. “Is that Fundy?” He asked, getting up quickly.

Tommy and Ranboo paused, like children who had been caught sneaking a pet indoors. Only, they were tall young men with a traumatized fox hybrid in their arms. Who, Sam soon learned, was now homeless.

“Please, can he stay with us Sam, please?” Tommy had pleaded, Ranboo standing near, still holding Fundy. “He’s got nowhere else to go, Sam, please?”

And, well, Sam took one look at his little brothers and had to concede. “Of course he can stay,” Sam said, already coming up for a plan for Fundy’s room.

Later that night, once Fundy had been told he was fine to stay and was sharing a room with Tommy (all three of the boys, for that’s how Sam fondly thought of them, ended up crammed into one bed by the morning, though, and neither of them knew which one of them had the nightmare. Maybe it was all three.), Sam let out a soft chuckle. 

He really was collecting a menagerie of fucked-up kids, wasn’t he? Only, they weren’t really kids anymore.

Well, he was growing his little family, and if no one else was going to let these kiddos heal, he would. They deserved the chances that war and adulthood had stolen from them. They deserved the love that he was set on giving them.