#and then after high school it’s been a downward spiral

[rosicheeks]

raspberry lavender sky sapphire rainbow rose burgundy? 💖💖💖

-🌸

[lees-chaotic-brain]

How would jjk men react to reader being pregnant with quadruplets?

Feat. Gojo, Yuta, Inumaki, Nanami, Megumi, Itadori (all characters are aged up)

Note: I did headcanons for this request because there were so many characters I wanted to include, and it would get a little boring to write the same scenario out in a full fledged fic like seven times. However, if there are one or two that you want me to turn into proper fics lmk!! I had to do research on pregnancy for this bc it's been awhile since my high school health class

CW: pregnancy, implied thoughts of abortion ig, mentions of fear regarding labor, AFAB reader bc, yk, pregnancy, one singular swear word

Word Count: 1.2k

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Gojo

I feel like Gojo would think you were joking at first, and wouldn’t believe you until you got frustrated and he finally realized you were being for real. He would have mixed emotions. On one hand, he was excited to have a big family and a house full of laughter and love. On the other hand, he was afraid, because more babies meant more defenseless mini-people for him to protect.

He had only known that he was going to be a father of quadruplets a few minutes ago, but he already knew that it would destroy him if he ever lost one of them. That he would gladly give his life for them. And then there was the matter of you. He already knew that childbirth was difficult for women, but quadruplets?? Childbirth was something that even he couldn’t protect you from and that terrified him. 

After a serious discussion in which he made sure you were okay with the added risks and you continuously reassured him that this was what you wanted, he settled down and began imagining a future for your family. Until he realized that he would have to share your love with four little gremlins who would surely take after their clingy father. Then it suddenly seemed less appealing.

Yuta

Baby boy would be shooketh. Because he’s sorry please don’t be mad at him and oh you’re not mad at him and the two of you are having quadruplets well technically you are but he’s the dad and oh god what if he’s not good at being a dad and-

You would have to calm him down as he fell into a downward spiral. Once you had properly reassured him, and he had fully absorbed the information he was ecstatic. He has always wanted a big family, and together the two of you were making that dream come true. Cuddling up to you he would thank you for loving him and gifting him with the many kids he had always dreamed of having.

He for sure would be the type to rub your stomach and whisper sweet nothings to the growing babies in your womb, telling them how much daddy loves them and how excited he is to meet them.

He would also start baby-proofing every square inch of your house before you had even started your second trimester.

Inumaki

He would be in shock. Because he put- wait how many??? babies in you. There was no way he heard you right. There was no way that you were pregnant with quadruplets. Because, wait, he didn't sign up for this! Yeah, he wanted tons of kids, but four babies at a time was a lot. And the strain it would have on your body was concerning as well. 

After he stopped opening and closing his mouth as he gaped at you, he managed to organize his thoughts. First he wanted to make sure you even wanted that many kids because, well, it wouldn’t be easy to give birth to or take care of that many. Once you had reassured him that you were, in fact, sure that you wanted to go through with the pregnancy and that you were prepared for whatever the future held for your not-so-little family he took a moment to process his own emotions.

At first he was conflicted. Sure he was excited, but he held his own private reservations. What if something went wrong during labor? What if he wasn’t cut out to be the parent of one kid, let alone four. But as the months sped by and your stomach grew, the anticipation grew, until one day he let go of any and all trepidation and allowed himself to be optimistic.

He also bought tons of matching onesies for the whole family.

Nanami

Ever the responsible adult and caring husband, first he sat you down and had a serious discussion about the pros and cons of having quadruplets, and whether or not the risks were worth it. Deep down he was thrilled, but he wanted to make sure the two of you were on the same page and understood what continuing meant.

Once the two of you had established you were going to see this through, and it was something the two of you wanted his planning would begin. First came the research. He thoroughly educated himself on everything regarding pregnancy, learning everything he needed to do to ensure your comfort and the healthy birth of his children.

Expect a special diet plan that fulfills the needs of you and your unborn children in the healthiest way possible, essential oil massages, weekly check-ups starting your second trimester, vitamin gummies and more.

He also would begin saving up because raising four children would be expensive. Would for sure have a whole financial plan set up and college savings accounts set up for each of his children within a week of his learning.

Megumi

Honestly, he wouldn’t have super strong feelings about it. He wanted to be a dad, but he didn’t care if it was one, four, or one hundred. He just wanted to have kids with you, and beyond that as long as you were happy he was too. 

So when you told him, his only response was asking you what you thought about it. When you told him you were excited, he was excited too. He had wanted to build his own family for as long as he could remember, and you were helping him reach his dream. What more could he ask for? The only other thing that mattered to him was that his children had siblings. As a kid he had resented Tsumiki, but as an adult he couldn’t imagine the loneliness he would have experienced growing up without her. So yeah. If you were happy, and his children would have siblings so they would never have to walk through life alone, he was content.

There was nothing more he wanted in life than your love and a family with you.

Itadori

Kids!!! He had wanted a ton of kids, so this was perfect! You were happy with it, so even better! He sees it as a four-in-one deal, and is over the moon. His golden retriever personality becomes even worse when you’re pregnant. Like, this man is at your side 24/7.

Constantly following you around, looking at you with big pleading eyes as he begs to cuddle in bed with you so he can talk to your stomach.

Oh my god talking to your stomach. This man would talk to your stomach more than he talks to you. Asking what your kids want to be named. Telling your unborn babies about his day. That he loves them and can’t wait to meet them. Describes all the fun things the six of you are going to do once they’re born. Definitely tries cuddling your stomach because he ‘wants to know what it feels like to hold his children.’

Also is a little shit that constantly asks ‘are they coming yet? Why not??’

[chosolala]

you should totally do a part 2 of the jjk characters in American high school! maybe like the students from kyoto! you write beautifully :)

jjk at an american highschool ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖࣪

part 1 here

thank you so much !! 😭🩷 i hope you enjoy these headcanons of what stereotypes i think jjk characters would be at an american high school :] also kyoto school does not get enough love so here’s all the kyoto students + the tokyo students i forgot in part 1 lol

sorry this is also super long

characters: yuta, hakari, kirara, todo, kamo, nishimiya, kokichi, miwa, mai, nitta

yuta okkotsu

probably that one student you watch go on a downward spiral throughout the year

starts off with super neat school supplies, being respectful and kind to everyone, having extra gum and extra pencils incase someone asks, and then to showing up to class late everyday in pajamas, not talking to anyone and letting his grades drop (me projecting)

he’s still super nice and respectful though

packs his own lunch everyday and it’s always like salad and granola or something

i feel like he’d eat SO MUCH at lunch though, like after he finishes his own lunch he’s going to buy a second lunch from the cafeteria 😭

also bring like homemade coffee to school every morning

walks to school everyday despite having a car (probably hates driving)

surprisingly athletic despite doing the bare minimum in gym classes, he’s probably like on the track team or something

“i 🩷 my crazy girlfriend”

everyone likes him because he minds his own business and stays out of drama (also girls think he’s cute but they’re too scared to actually approach him)

kinji hakari

he and kirara are the it couple of the school

probably has a couple thousand followers on instagram but his posts always get like 30k+ likes ESPECIALLY if he posts with kirara

not at school half the time though and when he is there he usually shows up for like one class or shows up super late

stop infront of every reflective surface to check his looks

always has the best outfits and posts fit checks in the bathroom mirror

not the nicest to his teachers…

his grades are pretty high though, he does his friends homework in exchange for money

gets into fights and gets suspended at least once a month

always has new clothes and nice shoes but he doesn’t actually have a job so nobody knows how he gets all his stuff

him and the gym coach are like best buds for some reason

also really nice to his history teacher because he actually likes that subject

his school supplies are no existent, not a single piece of paper in that bag, there has never been a pencil in his bag

kirara hoshi

they alone are the it girl

instagram/tiktok fame without even trying, like they probably have like 30k on instagram and 100k+ on tiktok

always shows up to class on time but genuinely has the shortest attention span when the topic isn’t interesting (95% of the time) and spaces out for the entire lesson

hakari does their homework with them but kirara is still lost

has the cutest bags to match every outfit

“school isn’t a fashion show” but for kirara it is

the sweetest person in the entire school and people lowkey take advantage of their kindness sometimes and end up getting kirara in trouble

nobody really asks too much from kirara because they’re scared of hakari 😭

always has their nails done cute with charms and rhinestones

they go off campus for lunch with hakari almost everyday for fast food

they smell SO GOOD like imagine vanilla, sweets, sugar, all that

todo aoi

his entire friend group is girls and they’re all kpop stan’s (todo included)

him and his friends make tiktoks doing kpop dances together (imagine todos big self w a bunch of highschool kpop fan girls dancing to twice)

probably acts very girly too but he’s very much straight

the type of guy to be nice to girls but no so nice to guys (think of that purple haired guy from saiki k i forgot his name 😭)

gets friend zoned by every girl he’s into

top of his class while hardly trying, his teachers love him

probably the leader of some weight lifting or body building club but also preaches to his club members about taking care of yourself physically and mentally

always has a sugary drink with his lunch like a milkshake or boba

gossips with his girl friend group and gives the best advice tbh

he got his club members right 🫡

always smells and looks so clean

he’s just cool to be around tbh

drives a goofy looking car like imagine todo in a beetle blasting kpop with his girls in the backseat

noritoshi kamo

lowkey just kinda rude to everyone but usually doesn’t talk to anyone first

has a superiority complex 😭

grades are pretty good but he works his butt off like he studies so much

strict parents who punish him for bad grades </3

vents in his english essays to his teachers

lowkey someone check on him…..

always looks good/presentable at school and has almost perfect attendance

notes are super neat and organized too

loves making people feel stupid

i feel like all the hot alt girls would love him for some reason but he’s so oblivious 😭

drives to school and actually has a really nice car

drinks starbucks coffees in class

lowkey a teachers pet kinda but only to keep his grades up

nishimiya momo

has the worst luck with every guy she talks to, like she has war stories from her failed talking stages

always has really cute notes and school supplies

watches movies during class

always has really cute outfits and always touches up her makeup in the bathroom

gets fries and ice cream almost everyday for lunch

probably a stanley cup collector

doesn’t really pay attention in class but her grades are always passing

rides her bike to school everyday

platform converse warrior

makes tiktok grwm videos before school

also posts those aesthetic school vlogs

always sneaks her phone during class and never gets caught

kokichi muta (mechamaru)

brings like a nintendo switch or modded ds to school

will mod your ds for a small fee

in like robotics club

kind of a nerd but he’s super chill

also eats fast food for lunch everyday

still keeps his hair long

probably gets super good grades without really trying all that hard

probably plays like guitar or piano in his free time

gets boba with miwa during lunch occasionally :3 (they don’t know the other person likes them back)

vintage game/console collector and has an awesome collection

probably works at like baskin robins or dunkin’ donuts and always kinda smells like the donuts or waffles cones

has a bad rbf but he’s just tired (naps in class)

miwa kasumi

stressed OUT. but despite that she still put the bare minimum into all her school work 😭

secretly crushing on kokichi and none of her friends know (they can all kinda tell though)

the friend that gives everyone little gifts just randomly

sketches on all her assignments

always spacing out in her own world but has a vague idea as to what’s going on in class

lowkey just cheats on most of her work and never gets caught

plans study dates with kokichi and her other friends sometimes

doc marten boot wearer

failed her drivers test like twice and now she gave up

also rides her bike to school and it has the cutest and silliest stickers on it

always smells like flowers

also brings her switch to school and plays with her friends during free periods and lunch

mai zenin

she will steal your lunch watch out

instigates drama and spreads rumors for fun but never actually gets involved when something actually pops off

probably started one of those expose pages where she posts everyone’s secrets

pretends her and maki aren’t sisters despite being literal twins and having the same face

cuts her hair over her bathroom sink at 3 am on facetime w her groupchat

has probably gotten in trouble with the police at least once outside of school

always late to every single period

grades are passing but only because he parents punish her for failing

doesn’t even bring a pencil to school

phone is always dead by 3rd period

acts fake nice to people to get what she wants but is mean behind their backs :(

arata nitta

probably hates all his friends but would rather hang out with them than be alone

still eats lunch with his sister and her friends everyday though

beats himself up because he actually studies and tries in school but still only gets like 75/100 or 80/100 (wish i had this problem 😭)

always goes off campus when his friends do

sleeps during study hall if he has no test coming up

takes notes on his laptop

wears hoodies to school most days and doesn’t care too much about looking good, but always makes sure he looks at least decent

eye bags

doesn’t talk unless spoken to, also keeps convos short

he’s actually funny if you know him though, like he’s that guys who has a silly sarcastic comment or reference to everything

airpods are always in

[f444wning]

The Plug (1/?)

Summary: Wanting to make a name for yourself, you find yourself in modern day King's Landing. Dealing with the weight of expectations, you find an unlikely connection.

Warnings: Drug/alcohol use (underaged and not), eventual smut, curse words. 18+

Note: Okay it took me a little longer than expected but here it is!

WC: 4.2k

"Virtue has a veil, vice a mask." - Victor Hugo

You always had big dreams, desiring an independent life. One that left you free to do whatever you wanted. While your parents were well-off and influential, you didn’t want to use their money to get you anywhere because you wanted to work for it yourself. “Stubborn girl,” they’d lovingly call you; they wanted to help you and see you succeed. While they knew you were smart and felt you were capable of anything, they believed it wouldn’t hurt to use their privilege to give you a hand. You always refused but understood their stance. You felt they did enough for you growing up—putting you in the best schools in the city, supporting whatever extracurricular activities you took interest in (mostly volleyball), and generally spoiling you whenever they could. Rumor had it they even paid the school to overlook any trouble you got into throughout high school.

You weren’t the biggest troublemaker, but you weren’t a goody-two-shoes either. You got good grades when you tried, but occasionally cheated on tests when you got too high on edibles or drunk on whisky that you’d stolen out of your dad’s cabinet that week to be bothered with studying. A bit of a party girl, one time taking a random pill given to you by a classmate that turned out to be Xanax. Afterward, you felt stupid for doing such a thing and vowed never to do it again. You knew how dangerously close you came to beginning a downward spiral. Your parents didn’t suspect your habits as you kept them well hidden, not wanting to ruin the idea of their perfect only child.

Well, to a degree. When the teachers busted you for cheating, they kept silent after contacting your parents, and it never escalated. Deep down, you knew what happened and felt guilty that it was most likely your parents’ money that kept you in that school; not everyone was so lucky. It was never enough to completely stop the habits, however. As an adult, while you were slightly more responsible, you still gripped to your vices as a baby grips their bottle. It wasn’t that you had a particularly hard life; you just found yourself wanting to escape from the pressures that came with expectations.

Having such supportive family and friends, you got through school and decided to jump into the working field, excited to move on to the next chapter of your life, wanting to prove to yourself that you weren’t a lost cause. Unfortunately for the past few years since then, the search was unfruitful. As you sat on the end of your bed, laptop in front of you, you clicked on the icon for your email to see if any jobs that you’d applied to had written you back. It seemed like a dud until you scrolled down a bit further, noticing you missed one from the large fashion magazine Gevives.

You had applied for a paid internship because you were always interested in the fashion industry and daydreamed about working your way up as a big-time writer. In slight disbelief, you opened the email to see that they were interested in you working for them and would like you to come by for an interview. Your mind raced in excitement for a few moments as you read the email until your stomach dropped when you saw at the bottom of the page that the location they wanted you to intern for was King’s Landing.

It was 5 hours away from Riverrun, your home. It had been your home since you were a child. It’s where you were born and raised, spending your childhood weekends at the country club your parents attended where you first acquired your love for volleyball. It held so many memories, like your first kiss, drunk in the closet playing 7 minutes in heaven with a boy from your grade after sneaking out to a friend’s house on a weekday, knowing your parents would kill you if they found out.

This was where you were comfortable; you didn’t know anyone in King’s Landing, you’d never even visited. You only ever heard things about it from acquaintances. Nothing too substantial, just that it was bigger with more shops and things to do. While that sounded wonderful, you knew you’d miss the nature and serenity that came with your smaller town. You loved it, and all the friends you grew up with as well as your family lived there. However, you knew jobs weren’t as easy to come by here as in the bigger cities, it was hard to make a good living. Your parents had driven at least an hour away for their jobs. You sat there staring at the screen for a few minutes, turning over the thoughts in your head before coming to a conclusion.

This was it. Deciding you couldn’t let fear get in the way of such a big opportunity, you sighed, hitting “reply,” and wrote back that you were still interested and would love to have the interview. While you knew they’d be sad that you were leaving, you also knew everyone would ultimately understand. Besides, it couldn’t be so bad, right? You’d finally have the opportunity to meet new people, experience new things. You’d finally get the chance to do something you’d only dreamed of. You figured you’d be a fool to pass it up. Besides, you heard they had better weed there. Closing your laptop, you lay down and texted your best friend, Abby Tully.

Y: Abbs, guess what!

A: What???

Y: I might have an interview with Gevives magazine

A: Omggg no freaking way, the internship?

Let’s talk about it over some cocktails on me this Friday, be there or be square

Y: Would rather die than miss it, babe

You set your phone down and snuggled under the covers, the soft fabric against your skin providing some comfort as your mind swirled with conflicting thoughts and emotions before sleep finally took over your body.

The next day you woke up to your alarm clock going off. 8 a.m. You groaned as your eyes adjusted to the sun beaming through your window, getting up to prepare for your day. Standing in front of the mirror in your room, you thought about how you were going to tell your parents, but you knew deep down they’d be proud of you. The day went by uneventfully, besides breaking the news to them, and they reacted just how you’d expected.

What you hadn’t expected, though, was your mother crying as you sat at the dinner table that evening. It was obviously a mix of both happy and sad tears. My little girl is growing up so fast, she thought. They knew the day would come, but it wasn’t going to lessen the impact of empty nest syndrome and having no siblings to soften the blow. Your dad offered to pay the first few months rent for a flat while you got on your feet, which you begrudgingly accepted. You truly didn’t want to, but you had no other choice. It’s not like you had any money to pay for a place to stay yourself. Not yet, and you couldn’t wait to change that.

The weekend rolled around, and you met up with Abby and her twin, Oscar, at the local pub. You were close with Oscar as well, the three of you being the same age and growing up on the playgrounds together, followed by the parties you’d all sneaked out to in teenage adventures that ensured you stayed glued to one another. You sat across from them, a cocktail in hand as you explained the email you’d gotten and how you’d be moving away.

“Girl, I’m so happy for you! But you better not forget about us.” Abby warned, jokingly pointing a finger at you.

Oscar nodded, “Yeah, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do while you’re there. We can’t chaperone you from here.” He laughed.

“Of course not,” you said with a cheeky smile, “and if you’re really worried, you guys are welcome to come babysit me whenever you like. I’ll have my own flat.” You winked at them.

Oscar and Abby groaned in unison, “Even worse!” Abby said with a grin.

“Look, I’m not the one who puked in the Lannister’s yard on summer break for drinking too much.” You said, raising your eyebrow and shooting a pointed look at Oscar.

He raised his hands in feigned offense, “Not everyone could make it past the driveway like you!” You all laughed. The conversation continued until late into the night as you three reminisced about all the memories you’ve had with each other. You all ended up getting decently tipsy by the end of it, and you decided to call it a night. Oscar called their older brother Kermit to drive you all home, dropping you off first. The twins got out of the car to hug you and wish you well, and even Kermit, who you had hardly spoken to despite being close with his siblings, wished you good luck before they drove off. You tried to quietly stumble your way up to your room. You could tell they were trying to hide their sadness, so you vowed you’d see them again as soon as possible.

Monday rolled around, and you knew you were going to have a busy day. Your interview was today, and you also had to go flat shopping with your parents. You got up at 4 a.m. to make sure you had enough time to make yourself look put together and get an Uber to King’s Landing before the interview. As the car began to drive through the city, you couldn’t help but stare out the window as the scenery changed. There were tall buildings and lots of people walking on the street, the city buzzing with activity. You noticed it was noisier as well. As the driver pulled up to the building located at the address you were given, it stood as possibly one of the tallest ones you’d seen. You looked up at it with slight awe. With a shake of your head to gather your courage, you headed up to the front desk to let them know you had arrived.

You feel like the interview went well enough as you watch the elevator buttons light up as it takes you back down to the bottom floor with a quiet “ding.” You’re not sure you’ll ever get used to living here, though. It feels so foreign compared to what you’re used to, and you feel a bit out of place. Chalking it up to bad nerves as you’re greeted with the bustle of the city, you walked away feeling a mix of relief and optimism. The energy of King’s Landing seemed to pulse with new possibilities.

Later, as you and your parents wandered through the vibrant neighborhoods, each corner of the city revealed something new: sleek cafés, trendy boutiques, and busy market streets. The search for a flat was exhausting, the sheer number of choices overwhelming. But amidst the confusion, a spark of excitement kept you moving forward. When you finally settled on a flat—a cozy space with large windows that overlooked a quaint park—you couldn’t shake the feeling that this was the start of something significant.

The property manager told you that you could move in the next day, which ended up working out perfectly as you got a call back a few hours after your interview to let you know you’d been accepted. They asked you to start next Monday and you agreed. Once you were back in Riverrun, you texted Abby and Oscar with updates on the interview and the flat-hunting adventure. They promised once summer break hits, they’d come and visit you.

 Staying up late to pack your things, you struggled to get up the next morning. Still, you got up and freshened up before taking your luggage out to your dad’s car. He shook his head, smiling at you struggling to carry your bags and grabbed them from you, placing them in the trunk and closing it. As he drove you to your new home, you two talked about your future and he expressed how much everyone was going to miss you, but that he was proud of you. He reassured you that they’d be alright and made you promise him that you’d stay safe and give them a call if you ever needed anything.

When you got to your new home, he helped you carry your bags up to your flat and you couldn’t help but look around it in disbelief. This was really yours. Your little corner in the city, home away from home. You beamed up at him as you thanked him, he hugged you in response before planting a kiss on your forehead and saying his goodbyes before heading back to Riverrun. You’d have to remember to call your parents soon to keep them from worrying themselves to death, you figure.

 You unpack your bags the rest of the day. Thankfully some movers had brought furniture up to your flat earlier that day, so it was fully furnished and before you knew it you were finally settled in. The stress of the day hit you, and you felt the need to use something to relax. Reaching into your kitchen cabinet you thanked yourself for remembering to bring a few bottles of wine with you and you drank them as your music filled the air and you danced around your new living room before passing out on the couch.

The sun streamed through the large windows of your new flat as you slowly woke up on your first full day in King’s Landing. The faint hum of city life below was a stark contrast to the quiet of Riverrun. Stretching and yawning, you reluctantly got up from the couch, where you’d spent the night amidst a mess of packing materials and empty wine bottles. Head slightly hurting, you popped a few pills.

After a quick shower and a hasty breakfast of cereal, you cleaned up before deciding to take a walk and explore your new neighborhood. You wandered through tree-lined streets and bustling avenues, taking in the lively atmosphere and the mix of modern and historic architecture. As you strolled, you marveled at the array of shops, restaurants, and cafés. The sheer diversity of the city was exhilarating, but you still felt a pang of homesickness.

You found yourself at a charming little café with an outdoor seating area. The scent of freshly brewed coffee and baked goods wafted through the air, tempting you to step inside. You ordered a latte and a croissant, settling into a corner table with a view of the street. The café was quaint, with potted plants hanging from the walls and soft indie music playing in the background. It seemed like the perfect place to meet new people.

As you sipped your latte and skimmed through a local magazine, a young woman sat down at the table next to you. She was absorbed in her phone but glanced over at you occasionally, seemingly intrigued. After a few minutes, she put her phone down and gave you a friendly smile.

“Hi there,” she said, her voice warm. “I’m Sara. I haven’t seen you around before. Are you new here?”

You returned her smile, feeling a bit relieved to meet someone so approachable. “I’m Y/N. Yeah, I just moved here a couple of days ago. I’m starting an internship at Gevives magazine.”

Sara’s eyes lit up. “Gevives? That’s so cool! I actually know a few people who work there. What’s your position?”

“Intern,” you replied. “It’s my first big opportunity, so I’m really excited, but also a bit overwhelmed. This city is so different from what I’m used to.”

“Yeah, King’s Landing can be a bit intense at first,” Sara agreed sympathetically, nodding. “But you’ll get the hang of it. If you need any tips or just someone to show you around, I’d be happy to help. I’m a graphic designer here and I know a few great spots.”

“That would be amazing, actually,” you said, feeling grateful. “I’ve been feeling a bit out of place.”

“Great!” Sara said, finishing her coffee. “How about we meet up this weekend? I can take you to some cool places and we can grab lunch.”

“I’d love that,” you said, feeling a genuine sense of relief. “Thanks so much.”

As you both finished your coffee, Sara started talking about some of her favorite places in the city. You found yourself genuinely enjoying the conversation, feeling more at ease. Before you knew it, she had to leave for an appointment, but not before giving you her number.

“Here’s my number,” she said, writing it down on a napkin. “Text me and we’ll set something up for the weekend. Oh, and if you’re looking for a recommendation for some good weed—I’ve got a guy. His name’s Aegon. He’s reliable and knows his stuff. Just let me know if you need his number.”

You were taken aback by the sudden offer but quickly appreciated her candor. “Thanks, I might take you up on that.” You smiled.

Sara laughed. “No problem! I’ll text you his number later today. Enjoy the rest of your day exploring the city!”

As she left, you felt a renewed sense of optimism. The move still felt overwhelming, but meeting someone so friendly and open was a huge boost. You spent the rest of the day wandering around, taking in the sights and sounds of King’s Landing with a bit more confidence.

Later that evening, as you sat on the couch in your flat watching TV, your phone buzzed with a text from Sara. Attached was a number with a brief message:

S: “Hey! Here’s Aegon’s number: 555-789-1234. He’s great—let him know I sent you. Hope the city’s treating you well!”

You saved the number, feeling a mix of curiosity and anticipation. With a smile, you picked up a wine bottle you had left out, poured yourself a glass, and sat back on the couch, already feeling a little more at home. Deciding to waste no time, you pull your phone out and shoot a text to Aegon.

Y: Heyy I’m y/n, Sara gave me your number

A: can I call?

Y: Uhhh yeah sure

Almost as soon as you responded your phone rang, “the plug” lighting up the screen. You giggled to yourself at the name you assigned him and picked up. You could hear people talking and music playing in the background before he spoke.

              “Why hello. What can I do for ya sweetie?” His raspy voice rang. Oh great, a flirt.

“Hi, I just moved to King’s Landing and I’m looking for something to help me chill out. Sara mentioned you might be able to help with that.”

“Well, aren’t you lucky you got my number?” You could tell he was smirking, even over the phone. “I’ve got just the thing you need. What’s your vibe—something to mellow out after a long day or something to keep you buzzing?”

“I’m looking for something to help me unwind,” you said, honestly starting to feel a bit flustered by his tone. “It’s been a bit overwhelming with the move.”

“Ah, gotcha. I’ve got the perfect strain for that,” Aegon said smoothly. “How about we meet up around 8? I can make sure you’re well taken care of. My place isn’t anything fancy, but it’s got a cozy vibe. It’ll be a lot of fun.”

“That sounds good,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “Where should I meet you?”

“I’ll text you the address in a minute. It’s at my place,” Aegon said with a chuckle. “And just so you know, I’ve got a pretty good setup. You might even say I’ve got a knack for making new friends feel right at home.”

A few hours later, you felt a flutter of excitement mixed with nervousness as you made your way to his place. You arrived at the address Aegon had sent, a slightly worn but lively building with other frat-type houses nearby. The bass from inside thumped so loudly you could feel it through the floor. When you buzzed the door, it swung open to reveal Aegon, his white hair a tousled mess and a grin on his face. He gave you a quick glance up and down before speaking.

“Hey there! You made it!” Aegon greeted you with an exaggerated enthusiasm that made you smile. “Come on in, gorgeous. Let me show you around.”

You stepped inside, greeted by the lively energy of the party. The flat was decorated with posters, random string lights, and a collection of beer bottles that had taken on a life of their own. Aegon led you through the living room, where people were lounging and chatting. Smoke and music filled the air as you looked around, trying to ease your nerves.

“Make yourself comfortable,” Aegon said, guiding you to a spot on the couch. “I’ll get us something to drink.”

As he grabbed a beer for you from the fridge, you took in his appearance, noting that despite being a bit disheveled looking, you find he’s actually quite attractive. He returned with the beer and a small bag of weed, sitting down next to you as he began to roll with practiced ease.

“So, you’re new in town, huh?” Aegon said, flashing you a cheeky grin as he worked. “I have to say, it’s nice meeting a pretty little thing like you. Y’know, I could show you around and help you find the best spots in the city.”

You laughed, the beer you started drinking you started feeling more at ease. “I’m looking forward to it. This is actually my first time hanging out with someone from here.”

“Well, I’m glad to be your first,” Aegon said with a wink. “Here’s to new adventures and new friends. And who knows, maybe this is the start of something even more exciting.”

He finished rolling the joint and handed it to you with a mischievous smile, his violet eyes watching you intensely. “Let’s make sure your time here is one to remember. Sara has great taste, and I have a feeling you’re going to enjoy yourself.”

You feel your cheeks warm. You wonder if it’s just the alcohol starting to make you feel flustered.

“I sure hope so. I left a lot behind to be here, I might as well enjoy it.” You replied, taking the joint from him and taking a long inhale from it, feeling your lungs burn a little.

He raised an eyebrow as you passed it back to him, “Don’t tell me you have a husband and 5 kids back at home?”

You laughed as you felt the joint making you a little lightheaded. It’s been a few weeks since you’ve partaken and the rumors seem to be true, this weed is definitely better.

“Hell no! Just my parents. Some friends. Riverrun is all I really know.” You said, absentmindedly running your fingers over your beer bottle in your hand. You didn’t expect to be here, in a drug dealer’s flat beginning to tell him your life story on your first day in the city but here you are.

“That was a close one.” He said in feigned relief, taking another drag from the joint and handing it back to you, eyes twinkling with a mix of curiosity and amusement. “Sounds like you’re a long way from home,” he said, leaning back against the armrest and observing you with a relaxed demeanor. “So why did you come here? If I may ask.”

You pause and take what you deicide is your last hit, feeling the effects rush through you as you move to hand it back and he shakes his head. You put it out in the ash tray and grab the baggie to put it in, dropping it in your purse. “To prove myself. My parents worked hard to have as much as they do, and all I did was fuck off. I’m here to pave my own way.” You say, laying your head back on the back of couch and looking up at the ceiling. You smiled to yourself in amusement at the fact this was starting to feel like a fucked up therapy session.

You heard him laugh in a way that reminded you of a hyena before responding, “I can relate. Cheers to that.” He says as he lifts his beer up and you do the same, tapping it with your own.

As the night wore on, you found yourself opening up to Aegon, feeling surprisingly comfortable despite the circumstances. He listened with genuine interest, his violet eyes reflecting curiosity and amusement.

Figuring it’s about time you head home and enjoy your high in peace, you pull out your phone to order an uber. “I’m about to head home, thanks for the weed. You really helped a girl out.” You say as you turn your head to him. He’s still looking at you with those soft violet eyes as he’s leaning back against the couch, and you wonder if he ever stopped.

He smirks. “Of course, and don’t worry about payment this time.” As you prepared to head home, Aegon handed you another baggie of weed with a wink. “Consider it a welcome gift.”

Tag list: @p45510n4f4shi0n, @lysenni, @malfoycassimalfoy

[filthgarbage86]

Okay I literally do not know where this came from please do not criticize or say anything about this, I do not know lol oh my gods

CW: pussy eating, praise kink, a lot of dirty talk, a lot of possessive talk mentions, primary? Is that what it’s called? The one where you’re like animalistic for the other slightly? If you squint. Squirting, filth, garbage.

Okay but can you imagine

Just imagine for a second

You and Eddie are cleaning up after hell fire. You had just recently started dating, you were maybe 2-3 months in, and sure, you had been a little intimate. A little kissing-make out sessions, harmless groping, the works. But he still hadn’t gone as much as to like..touch you.

And you see him. You know him. You know how he kisses you, you feel how much he wants you and needs you - but it’s like something is holding him back. You’re trying to figure out what.

At this point, Eddie is still packing up but is looking over at you every now and then, realizing you are deep in thought. You are checked out and somewhere else. He’d stop and stare for a moment or two, waiting to see if you snapped out of it yourself before “hey babe?” You snap up immediately, looking at him with the lights behind him, his hair still looking frizzed out and a little crazy post-session. He had been so into this session, the gang had finished the campaign and it was a long night of adrenaline. You think about the passion in Eddie’s eyes then and you think back now to this moment.

“Babe? Baaabby? Angel what’s got you so dazed out? What are you thinking about?”

You look at him, thinking about tonight, thinking about the confidence and passion and drive that he had, think about how he made you feel, and you decided right there and then-

“I think you should eat me out.”

The world is silent. You can hear a pin drop, you’re convinced. Eddie is looking at you, wide eye and processing did I really just hear that right? I’m not dreaming right?

The silence has you spiraling. You had been known to be honest and straightforward, but that was just blunt. However, Eddie’s gapping jaw soon slowly inches up becomes a big, cheeky, dorky grin of “can I right now?”

You nod and giggle nervously at his enthusiasm, not long before you’re giggles turns to oh- at him clinging to you. He’s ravishing you, covering you with heavy kisses around your face, your throat, the place behind your ears, and collarbone. He is mapping out your body and thanking you repeatedly like you had just answered his prayers.

“You have” he pauses only to move from across your throat to the other “no idea” throat to face “how long” face to chest “I’ve wanted to devour you.” He’s moving downwards with urgency but not missing an inch of your skin he can get to. He’s kneeling there, in the dungeons of the high school, grabbing at your waist, hips, ass, thighs, anywhere he can grab at you, through clothes unfortunately. Literally on his knees, look up at you with those big, brown eyes that this point are almost black. Eddie had completely turned to lust in this moment.

“Please baby, on the table” he looks at you and silently asks if he can take off your skirt/pants and you’re just nodding, already a bit in a daze. You never realized you were what was holding Eddie back.

“If I had know you wanted me like this, I would have said something a while ag- oh”

He has in that time stripped your clothes down to your ankles, put your legs over his shoulders, hooked his arms under your thighs and immediately sucked on your clit. He suckled there for a while, moaning at the taste, eating you like he had been starved and you were the first taste of relief for him. The vibrations have you a moaning mess within a few moments.

“Eddie!”

“Shhh baby I’ve waited so long to meet her, don’t bother my introduction.”

You’re blushing like a tomato at the way he’s talking to your pussy like it’s his. His to have and to enjoy. He’s not wrong, at all, especially if he treasures it this much.

He suddenly slows. Mind-numbing slows. Painfully, sinfully slow. He is spelling out the ABCs, forwards, backwards, his name to really let it be known. He is taking his sweet, precious time and you do not know how much longer you’re going to last like this.

“Eddie, honey, baby, I promise this won’t be the last time, I just really need to cum. Please baby. I really really need to cum.”

“Oh my gods first you ask me so nicely to eat your delicious pussy and now I get to eat your cum? Fuck baby, go for it, give it to me. Please give it baby, I know you can do it, cum on my mouth and give me everything you’re willing to.”

You’re blushing down to your chest and you’re sent over the edge with Eddie’s praise. His words are cut silent by the sounds of your finish echoing around the dungeon and your release dripping down his chin.

He laps up every drop of you, making sure you’re clean and he’s clean. You’ve never felt so deliciously and disgustingly wet at the same time. He stands up, wiping off his chin with his hands and licking off the excess from his fingers and looks at you like you just gave him the winning lottery ticket.

“That was a really good thought sweetheart. You should think of those thoughts more often. And let me know.”

You’re out of breathe, closed eyes still in bliss, when you breathe out “Give me a minute to rest and I’ll probably have dreamt a thing or two.”

Just you know.. imagine.

[sarnai4]

The Real Deal

The Penguins of Madagascar is a great show for many reasons, but I feel like one is very underrated. Despite being a comedy, it has good villains. I have seen series where the comedy becomes a bigger part, so villains are written as playful obstacles or too silly to really be taken seriously. That does not happen here.

Hans is a villain who not only acts as an antagonist for the show, but he also connects to Skipper's past, adding new layers to the already mysterious nature of the Denmark incident. Because of whatever happened, Hans is that type of villain who won't kill the heroes. He even mentions how he didn't want to fry Skipper in a real volcano. He just wants to make him miserable. These villains are so dangerous because death isn't their goal. In a sense, torture is.

Dr. Blowhole is on the other end of this. He makes it very clear that he wants Skipper dead. Between making him even "most importantly" forget how to swim (as he falls into the ocean, mind you), this dolphin has a penguin-seeking middle. He has plans to make the world suffer for his pain and will destroy anyone in his path.

Rat King is a surprisingly fun villain to me. He easily could have just been the dumb jock kind of enemy who's basically an older version of a high school bully. Despite that, he's pretty clever too, shown when he hustled the penguins out of their habitat. He's also way more ruthless than I gave him credit for being. He had a vat of acid somehow and was going to use it to kill them.

Kuchikukan was not a villain I ever expected to see in the series. Evil spirits weren't on my radar, but this is probably the only time I won't complain about their presence. He was so much fun! He mastered the combination of "light-hearted jokester who messes with the mere mortals" and "all-powerful being who can and will destroy the Earth." That's not an easy balance to strike. It's such a great time to watch him go from an almost laughable threat due to his host body, then show how much he can still do. By the time the episode is over, I know why he was able to destroy a world inside of a cheese loaf.

Blue Hen was a nice way to give the penguins a psychological threat. She knew how to come after them where it mattered most. Go after Kowalski's obsession with science and go after Skipper's position as leader. It's a shame that she only was in season 3 because it would have been fun to see what else she did with more time.

Last, but certainly not least, X. Just X because he's been an animal control officer, zookeeper, exterminator, fishmonger, storekeeper, and unemployed. Of them all, he is my favorite. I love this character so much. He's also got something going for him that I feel is unique to him. You can see the downward spiral of X throughout each episode he's in. Gradually, he becomes more and more unhinged. It makes sense that he's one of the only human villains because he's so competent that he doesn't even need to know what the penguins are saying in order to stop them from doing everything they want. He just was the pinnacle of competency to the point of even freaking Skipper out because he kept failing against him in the zookeeper episode. Through it all, we see X go from this super officer of animal control, then more and more, he loses it because of the penguins. He even gets a cameo in an episode where he's just throwing chopsticks of a poster with the penguins on it and is later shown to have bowling pins painted as penguins. I almost feel bad for him since he really did want to just do his job, but there comes a point when you have to relinquish your obsessions and he's an example of why.

The other villains were also fun to me, but these were my favorites. PoM didn't have to try hard with its villains, but they still did and I really appreciate that.

[storiesforallfandoms]

they forgot ~ corpse husband

word count: 2022

request?: yes!

“Corpse husband asks his S/O why they are upset two days before their birthday and they reply, "I just got a text from my parents saying to have a happy birthday today." ”

description: in which an early birthday text sends her mood on a downward spiral just days before her actual birthday

pairing: corpse husband x female!reader

warnings: swearing, shitty parents, some self hatred/insecurities due to shitty parents

masterlist (one, two, three)

I never liked my birthday. Cliché, I know. That’s how every sad story with a happy birthday ending starts.

I was a cliché from my high school days, too. I only had two friends, so “birthday parties” were always just the three of us in my basement watching the same movies. I tried to have an actual birthday party once for my Sweet 16. Only because my mother insisted upon it. Made me send out invitations to my entire class and decorated our house before leaving for the night so we could “have a real good time”.

No one showed up besides the usual two friends, and we ended up in the basement watching movies yet again.

That was another issue: my parents.

I know they loved me...in their own way, anyways. Most years we didn’t celebrate my birthday. Not how I would want to celebrate it, anyways. If it were up to me, we’d go out on the night of my birthday to one of my favorite restaurants and maybe have a board game night or something. Just be together as a family for my day. But that’s never how it went. My parents were always “busy” the day of my birthday. Mom made the mistake of telling me once that she forgot it was even my birthday and booked a day out with her friends. She didn’t ask if I wanted to come with them. If we ever did anything, it was usually whatever they decided with very little input from me.

I thought I was weird for disliking my birthday, until I met Corpse.

Corpse didn’t like his birthday either. When it came around the first time when we started dating, I didn’t make a big deal over it as he asked. I got him a gift and a cupcake with a candle in it, but that was it. He did the same for me - small gestures as to not make such a big deal over my birthday.

But, as time went on, Corpse started making a little bit of a bigger deal about my birthday. He’d order in take out form my favorite restaurant, make me dinner (once he also tried to make a cake for dessert), invited over a few of our friends once just to hang out for my birthday. I didn’t notice at first, and by the time I realized what he was doing, I was too happy to be upset. I was finally enjoying my birthday for the first time in...well...almost ever.

Until my parents dragged me back down to Earth.

I was getting ready for work when my phone chimed signaling I had gotten a text. I ignored it at first, figuring I’d answer whenever I finished getting ready. But when it went off a second time, just moments after the first, I figured it was important. I picked up my phone and the screen lit up, displaying two unread texts from my parents.

“Happy Birthday sweetheart. We hope you have a wonderful day.”

“We love you very much and we are so proud of you.”

It would’ve been a really sweet series of messages if it weren’t for the fact that my birthday wasn’t for another two days.

I sat down on the edge of mine and Corpse’s bed. I kept re-reading the texts until they burned into my eyeballs, the words “Happy Birthday sweetheart” standing out every time I blinked, until welling tears washed the image away.

I thought things were different. I thought I was actually becoming someone worth celebrating, or at least worst remembering my fucking birthday. But if my own parents couldn’t even be bothered to remember when their only child was born, how could anyone else be bothered to remember or care about me?

“I thought you had work.”

I jumped at the sound of the deep voice I usually loved so much. I hadn’t heard Corpse come out of his editing room. It had been another night of Corpse’s fucked up sleep schedule keeping him up from sun down to sun up. I had gotten used to our sleep schedules often conflicted, especially when my work required me to wake up semi-early in the morning. I guess I had momentarily forgotten he wasn’t in our bed while I was getting ready for work.

I quickly wiped my eyes and shoved my phone into my pocket. “Yeah, I do. I got distracted, I guess.”

I stood and made my way out of our bedroom, pausing only to give Corpse a quick kiss. I mumbled a “Goodbye, love you” as I exited our apartment, leaving before he could notice I was upset.

~~~~~~

The day passed in a blur. I couldn’t stop thinking about the text. I hadn’t responded, which didn’t trouble my parents too much. Part of me hoped they would realize their mistake if I didn’t respond and would apologize for mixing up the dates. But that never happened. They didn’t text me back at all. Didn’t even acknowledge that I hadn’t responded. They probably hadn’t even noticed.

I couldn’t wait to get home and crawl into bed and end this shitty day. If I was lucky, Corpse also would’ve forgotten my birthday and we wouldn’t do anything to celebrate the day I was once again dreading the most.

Corpse was laying in our bed, re-watching Death Note for the hundredth time. I kicked off my shoes and shrugged off my jacket before getting into bed with him.

“I can’t believe you started without me,” I teased, trying not to let my upset show in front of him.

“There was nothing else to watch,” he responded.

“We have Netflix, Disney+, and Hulu, but there was nothing to watch?”

Corpse put a hand over my mouth and shushed me. I giggled and rested my head against his chest. I was starting to feel somewhat better after the day I had had.

He moved his hand from my mouth to my back and started running his fingertips up and down my spine. “How was work?”

I made a grunt sound in response. “It was okay, I guess.”

“Only okay?”

I shrugged. “Nothing especially good or bad happened. It was just a day.”

His hand ran from my back to my hair. I shivered from the cool feeling of his metal rings against my skin, leaving a tingling feeling in their wake. His fingers tangled through my hair as he started to play with it.

“What’s on your mind, honey?” he asked.

“Nothing,” I responded, although it didn’t come out very convincingly.

“You’ve seemed upset since before you went to work. Did something happen this morning?”

Tears started to prick my eyes again. Corpse always knew when something was wrong. It was like he had a sixth sense about when I was upset, and he wouldn’t let up until I talked about it even a little bit. It could be annoying since I was so used to just dealing with my upset and sadness myself, but it did always help me to feel better when I talked to him.

Corpse paused the show and moved so he could face me. He wiped away the fresh falling tears with his thumbs. “What happened, baby?”

“M-My parents,” I sniffled.

That was really all he needed to hear. Corpse knew about the relationship I had with my parents. He had only met them once and decided that was one too many times for him. His once soft gaze at my sad face immediately darkened when I told him. “What did they do?”

“They...they sent me a text this morning,” I said. “Two, actually. Wishing my a happy birthday and telling me they love me and they’re proud of me.”

His brows furrowed in confusion. “But...your birthday is...”

He trailed off as I started to nod. The dam officially broke within me and I began to sob. Corpse quickly pulled me to him, burying my head in his chest and allowing me to cry into his shirt. At least he loved wearing black clothing so it wasn’t like I was staining the material with my sadness.

“Th-They couldn’t even be bothered to remember,” I said. “All these years I thought...I thought I was finally becoming important enough for other people to even...remember the day I was fucking born.”

“Of course you’re important enough.”

I shook my head. “Not important enough for my own parents to remember my birthday. My own fucking parents, Corpse! They were fucking there when I was born! You’d think, of all people, the person who popped me out of her fucking vagina would remember what day she did that. But she doesn’t, and she’s never given enough of a fuck to remember that day and make it special for me. Never! So why would anyone else care that much about me when my own parents can’t?”

Corpse pulled me away from his chest and looked down at me. He wiped the tears from my face again, gently running his thumbs under my eyes and down my face to catch the tears.

“I care,” he said. “I have since the very first day that I met you. If you hadn’t told me that you didn’t like your birthday, I may have thrown you the best party I possibly could just to celebrate you.”

I couldn’t help but let out a shaky chuckle. “You hate people.”

“I love you, though. And if you wanted a party, I’d try to give you a party.”

I shook my head. “Everything you’ve done for me since we got together is more than enough.”

“You say that, but to me it feels like it’s far from being enough. Your birthday is one of very few days that I actually want to celebrate throughout the year because you are something I want to celebrate. I don’t know what I’d do if I never met you.”

“Probably be doing the same thing you’re doing now: watching Death Note all night until you fall asleep at 5am.”

He chuckled. “Okay, yes, but I wouldn’t have someone to do that with me. And that’s what means the most to me. Since I met you, I haven’t felt as alone as I once did. You make me feel so happy, (Y/N). More than I think you could ever know.”

I could feel my eyes welling up again, but this time it was happy tears. I leaned forward to kiss Corpse, before pulling away to wipe my face again. Kissing someone while you’re crying, or while your face is still wet from crying, can be slightly awkward. Not that I thought Corpse would’ve minded at all.

“You make me happy, too,” I told him. “I’m glad I found you, and that we’re building this life together and starting our own family. Well...our found family.”

“One day it’ll be a real family. Whenever I start feeling better.”

I took his hands in mine and kissed them. “I can wait. As long as I have you.”

He eventually coaxed me to lie down with him again and pressed play on the show. I tried to stay awake to watch it with him, but after working most of the day and having cried a number of times, my eyes were feeling very heavy. I had to fight against my eyelids to keep them open, but it was a losing battle. At one point I had even managed to drift off to sleep for a few seconds before a sound on the TV caused me to jolt awake.

Corpse chuckled. “Do you want me to turn it off so you can sleep?”

I shook my head. “No, that’s okay. I don’t mind listening to it while I fall asleep.”

“Falling asleep to Death Note. And I thought I was fucking weird.”

If I had the energy I would’ve playfully hit his chest. Instead, I just grunted and turned into him more.

I felt his chest vibrate as he chuckled again. “Goodnight, baby. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I mumbled before finally drifting off to sleep.

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

the amount of times i Do This must be a joke at this point but here i am. doing it once more. izaya's highschool videogame SCREAMS "i just found out i have aspd and i am NOT taking it well." and i shall explain how

a preface: wrt "how did he know in high school, don't you have to be 18?" you do.... with the dsm guidelines. japan, iirc, uses a conbination of the dsm and icd to diagnose mental illnesses, and the age stipulation isn't in the icd. also, shinra could have told him, and lbr shinra wouldnt care about strictly adhering to the age thing

anyway i went thru and highlighted different parts of the videogame's text, so i can easier explain which part means what. i'll primarily be focusing on the chronic boredom associated with aspd- since izaya's game deals with patience, most musings in it will be related to that boredom. but the boredom, especially izaya's, IS important, as its the boredom that drives him to do what he does. to be what he is.

(shoutout to miyukiwinter for the scan)

so... the red bit. this relates to izaya's worldview of the need to keep evolving to escape the mundane, and it not mattering if you aim high or low. now at this point, izaya was solidly in some shady shit and clearly on the path of the low aim. but the thing is, about aspd... the boredom is all consuming. you'll do ANYTHING to not be bored. i've seen people say they developed substance abuse problems to escape the boredom, and i confess... i've done it too. it truly is THAT bad

i say all this because... izaya will never be able to stop going lower, and lower, and lower. he's fated to fall forever. maybe he wouldve been able to brush his behavior off as teenage craziness, but with a diagnosis like aspd it becomes increadingly obvious that there is no "oh, i'll mellow out once i reach my 20s." it's not going to happen, at least, not without great effort. and lets be real, nobody has any faith in aspd's recovery rates, less so in the early 2010s, so izaya upon diagnosis would see NO FUTURE for himself. no escape from the cycle. he's trapped.

the blue bits are a bit more vauge, but the undertainty turning to loss evokes the next stage after the initial shock of diagnosis: grief. and make no mistake, there IS a grieving process with mental health diagnoses. you go from being shocked and scared, to being depressed and numb.

but there's... another layer to this, with aspd. you see it with cluster b disorders in general, but aspd is HUGE in the pop culture zeitgeist

the layer is, the idea that People Like That don't feel emotions. that any emotional display is false and an explicit ploy to mainpulate someone

and when this inevitably ends up untrue, you might start to feel... odd... about feeling those emotions people say you can't feel. and one of the biggest emotions aspd gets that with, is fear and by extension, anxiety.

some aspd people genuinely do feel reduced fear! but it's far from being a diagnostic criteria, and aspd can actually be comorbid with anxiety disorders. but scientific facts and wider culture rarely match up, so the idea persists

so izaya might have started to think.... was he ever truly anxious? or worried? was he really more rotten than people thought; was he just mainpulating people the whole time? does he really not feel anxiety? was his nervousness over things like shinra leaving him or hell, this diagnosis, rendered null and void?

and then we reach the teal portion.... despair

(just a sidenote, tumblr has no teal color option so it'll just be blue)

in this sense, "the hole" refers to the endless downward spiral, and his diagnosis- but not just having it. no, "the hole" most likely refers to the moment izaya developed it in the first place.

who are you, if you thought you were in control your whole life, but you found out that the reason you do the things you do were because of foeces beyond your control? who are you now, having a label you know will cause everyone to see you as nothing but a stereotype?

why was he still alive, suffering like this? what point is it to be alive, controlled by something you can't fight, forced to make your life worse and worse and worse, until you die young?

so now what? who did this to him?

in the game, the hatred is towards "the player." and honestly this could have multiple different meanings when applied to izaya's own life

does he hate god? was he raised religious, his father being a christian, and was this what made him lose faith? what loving god would condemn someone to suffer like this?

does he hate his parents? after all, it was their genetics that passed this down, their upbringing that nurtured it, their neglect that made him the way he was. is it their fault?

or... does he hate himself, for being the way that he is? for having it in the first place, for not being able to overcome it, for having such a bad reaction to it?

for being too cowardly to kill himself?

which brings us to the final segment. awareness.

he says outright, the game is depicting the player's life. in the game itself, this ties into his mockery of players, but in a meta sense, it could be a hidden admission that it's depicting his life

especially the talk of meaningless games- fooling around with nakura creating small gangs, betting pools, and his eventual adult pastimes of messing with people. is his life enriched? no, it's merely occupied, and he knows it. he might have repressed it as an adult, but here, in high school, at this moment, he knows.

and if he can never truly alleviate his boredom, never truly be fufilled, then he can act like he's in control all he wants, but he's no better than a man falling in a hole.

[babiebom]

Stardew Bachelor/ette's as relationship tropes

A/N: because this is cute and im in my feelings watching the little mermaid im feeling so giddy omfg THIS MOVIE WAS MADE FOR MEEKLALQOWOSOA also plus victor and Sofia(sophia?) WOW so if anyone has already read this it was not finished nor was it supposed to be posted so as I finish it it'll just be updating because i don't wanna delete it oopsies!

Tw: none? Idk maybe bullying???

Genre: headcanons

Wc:maybe like 5 bullet points per thing?

Sdv Masterlist

Strangers to Lovers:

Emily

Penny

Leah

Elliott

Friends to Lovers:

I feel like Penny and Leah would be a meet-cute sorta thing like at a coffee shop or a library

Maybe elliott also at the library or at a bar

But I feel like with Emily it would be somewhere chaotic

Like a concert

Or a rally of some sort

All of these would be like a romance novel of some sort you meet your soulmate on a chance outing super cute!!!

Sam

Sophia(Sofia?)

Enemies to Lovers:

Harvey

All of these guys seem as if they fall hard for friends mostly

Like yeah they sometimes find a stanger attractive

But I feel as if these people are the kind to slowly develop a crush on someone they already know

Sam would make the best tv show character and Sophia(pls someone tell me how to spell) and Harvey would make better book characters

Haley

Sebastian

Abigail

Second chance:

Alex

You probably absolutely hated these guys ngl

Like I feel like they have enemy quality

Like especially Haley and Alex they have high school bully energy to me

So even if they weren't bullys they would somehow end up on your kill list

Seb and Abigail seem like general assholes and probably did something to piss you off(im saying this as a Seb girlie)

Honestly my favorite genre to read but that's because i am toxic oops

Shane

Victor

Maru

I feel like these three would've been in relationships they had to let go of for different reasons and now that time has passed you meet again and get that second chance at loving one another

Shane would prolly be because of his downward spiral and you two broke up after a heated fight because he just refused to try so you left(Jas was torn up but doesn't really remember because she was younger)

Victor prolly had to break up with you because of Olivia and different statuses in money. She only wants the best for her son and unfortunately in her eyes you were not it.

For Maru i think its obvious Demetrius had something to do about it. Maybe you were in a relationship in high school

And even if her grades didn't slip at all when he found out he made her break up with you to force her to focus on her future.

[klonnieshippersclub]

Hi! I'm very new to the fandom. What Klonnie fics currently in the works would you recommend from AO3, Wattpad, or ffn?

I'll make a small master list with links. Not all are completed though fyi! please respect all authors. This is a mix of past and current fics.

Paint It Black by jazzywazzy08 on FFN:After the death of her grandmother Bonnie Bennett starts on a downward spiral and is sent to live with her mother Abby Bennett-Mikaelson. When Bonnie witnesses firsthand the life of luxury her mother has been leading, she's hell-bent on making Abby's new life miserable and taking everything that her mother holds dear, starting with her new husband Niklaus Mikaelson. Check out their other works as well!

stay awake by dirtygoldensoul on FFN: Star-crossed lovers. What a cliché. No wonder they were doomed to fail. But learning that his witch is strapped in a prison world, Klaus battles against all the pain and memories of their past to retrieve Bonnie. No matter what it takes. S3-6 canon divergence. Klonnie. Check out their other works as well!

walk of shame by dinky on FFN:It was supposed to be a business meeting between him and me. Somehow everything got tangled up. Slight A.U

Mountain High by mythorhuman on A03: She was a Bennett witch. "Was" being the operative word here. Bonnie could barely remember being a normal teenage girl. Normal teenage girls don't entertain phone calls from immortal serial killers with a thirst for blood. Normal teenage girls run from dangerous men and keep their distance from such evil. Normal teenage girls aren't willing to make a deal with the devil for their own profit. Unfortunately, Bonnie was not normal and her devil was Klaus Mikaelson. It's just another secret to keep from her friends. She's still a little hurt that her death went completely unnoticed. It's low risk, high reward. Strictly business. Nothing more, nothing less. And the lies she tells herself keep adding up.

A Witch Bargain by melmedarda on AO3: After leaving New Orleans a little over a month ago, Bonnie's abrupt return to New Orleans sends tension through the French Quarter when she seeks Klaus—the enigmatic ruler who took over Marcel Gerard's reign. Bonnie brings life-altering news that upends their lives and ignites complications. This revelation isn't the only thing that drives Bonnie's return. She has to uncover the secrets of an ancient Witch Bargain cast on the Originals before they were even born, and the only person who holds the answers is the forgotten Mikaelson sibling. Bonnie's departure is driven by more than the revelation she bears. Veiled beneath it all lies a trove of dark secrets that she carries, secrets that will soon demand their due consequences. With old grudges resurfacing, new adversaries emerging, and a curse threatening them, Bonnie and Klaus must overcome their troubles and protect their loved ones amidst the ever-present danger lurking in the shadows. Check out their other works as well!

dear little witch by cancerianwoman on AO3: Bonnie Bennett has held plenty of titles. A daughter, friend, teen witch, and a former wife. The most important one to her now was mother and business owner. She earned this life for herself and would be damned if she lost. A witch’s premonition is nothing to ignore. Bonnie values her life away from Mystic Falls and returning wasn’t likely for her until her daughter’s safety was compromised. The Salvatore Boarding School would change everything for the Bennett witches. Secrets will unfold and time can only tell what’s to come next. Hope Mikaelson won’t be the only one with her world turned upside down. Family is forever, whether anyone likes it or not. Everything is done in the name of family. -an au of TVD/TO post season 8 & 4 of TO. Check out their other works as well!

No Church In The Wild by beyonceofmysticfalls on AO3: Years after blowing the dust of Mystic Falls off her feet, Bonnie finds herself caught in the supernatural crossfire yet again. This time, however, she is playing by nobody's rules except her own. Check out their other works as well!

Labyrinth: A Bonnie Bennett x Klaus centric universe by artemiseamoon on AO3: After many years, major life events and memories, Bonnie and Klaus remain cosmically drawn to each other. After a year in Paris, Bonnie returns to the states and crosses paths with the hybrid who haunts her mind and heart. The reunion forces them both to examine their past, and feelings for each other. All the while Bonnie carves out a new life for herself in the Cresent City.

Kindred by Richoonelover1941 on FFN:This is a dark, twisted Klonnie AU story that was supposed to be a one-shot. This is not for the faint of heart, many will not like it. It contains smut, verbal abuse and violence. This is a warning! Jeremy and his girlfriend go on a road trip with unexpecting results. Bonnie B, Klaus M, Jeremy G, Caroline F. I do not own the rights to TVD or its characters, I'm just playing with.

all the devils are here by irishcookie on FFN :Both of them are broken but there is something more going on when Bonnie Bennett arrives in New Orleans needing Klaus Mikaelson's help. After a deal is struck, the pair try to work together while dealing with their losses. A Klonnie angst fic set after the series finale of TVD and season 3 of The Originals. COMPLETED. Check out their other works!

The Summoned Witch by szajnie on ao3: TVD/TO AU: Hope Mikaelson needs help. At seven years old, she's not strong enough to protect the people she cares about from the dangers that surround them. What she needs is a bigger witch. So she summons one. Check out their other works!

Truth Teller by thehedgerider on ao3: Seven years after the events of S3 of TO and four years after the events of S7 of TVD, Bonnie Bennett is in New Orleans to find a weapon for defeating the entity that's been unleashed...and finds Klaus Mikaelson. Check out their other works!

A Foolish Escape From Reality by mizzm29 on ao3: Bonnie is in desperate need of a change. Jumping on the first opportunity she gets, she embarks on a journey of being a baby sitter for a certain original hybrid. Check out their other works as well!

Uncharted Desires by waitingforyouonce:It's time for the Annual Bellham Festival, a month long celebration where supernatural women put their name on a list and are pursued by interested suitors. Normally Bonnie chooses not to participate, but when Elena implies that she's undesirable she changes her mind. Several men in town immediately set their sights on her hoping to win her heart. (Bamon/Stefonnie/Tonnie/Klonnie) Check out their other works!

The Devil's Companion by GoddessWitch/Six2VII on ao3:A prophecy forces Klaus to act against his wishes. An outdated law forces Bonnie to sacrifice her future. Magic and fate push the two together. What happens when a witch and a hybrid are forced to have a child neither of them wants? An outcome neither of them is ready for. Check out their other works as well!

Protector by mizzcullen13 on FFN: Through no words at all he let her know she didn't have to be anyone's protector anymore, because he was hers. Check out their other works as well!

Resurrection by TalulaJones on FFN: Klaus wants to be King of New Orleans but there is only one witch who can make that happen.. Check out their other works as well!

Let Bygones Be Bygones by Lana Archer on FFN: Klaus finally has everything he's wanted. Hope to himself, Hayley lost to her curse, Dahlia and Esther cemented in death. But a little witch, with an affinity of drawing on any magic in her radius rolls into town, just in time to get the Original Hybrid back up on his toes.

This has gotten pretty long. I am sorry if anyone thinks they were missed it was not intentional. Please let me know if any of these links are incorrect so I can edit them! If you have any fic you would like to add in this list please dm me.

-Rikki

[kokinu09]

Let Go of the Reins || Chapter 3

~*~

pairing seungmin x fem!reader

genre strangers to lovers, romance, fluff, slight angst later, happy ending, social media, not meant to be, someday

summary  Australia is considered home for two of the eight members. When two tour dates are scheduled for the land down under, the boys can’t help but want to spend a bit more time there to visit family and do a little sightseeing. So how do they convince the company that they need to stay a couple weeks? Filming some SKZ Code episodes.

A local riding school just outside the city with amazing reviews for their skilled instructors and beautiful horses is hosting a very popular kpop group to film their experiences. Y/N knows the group well and she just so happens to be their star working student. 

status ongoing

taglist OPEN

previous | masterlist | next

~*~

The getting ready part was easy. After Olivia spent a little too long on your makeup (and having to run through the barn to get everything prepped in time), you manage to have all 8 of your selected horses for the guys lined up before the film crew arrives. The other dozen or so horses for the crew were your other coworkers’ problems. You got to pick your lineup and you couldn’t be happier with your bunch. 

You finish securing the saddle on Storm’s back, the last one you needed, and shake out your shoulders. The nerves start to sink in as the seconds tick by. 

Storm nickers by your head, giving you a gentle nudge as if to comfort you. You giggle as your hands reach up to pat his neck, equally as comforting towards your equine companion. “Thanks Buddy. I’m ok,” you say with a smile. 

Your smile falters momentarily as you hear footsteps approaching. Swallowing down your nerves, you turn expecting the group of boys but instead, it is a couple of the staff members approaching with a mic and wires in hand. Right, you’ll need to be just as heard as they do. 

“Hello, are you Miss Y/N?” The young woman asks. 

“Yes, that’s me!” You brighten your smile and offer a polite bow. They both seem pleasantly surprised as they happily return the gesture, quickly getting to work mic’ing you up for the shoot.

“The crew should be over shortly.” The man informs nicely before they both bow and head back the way they came. Leaving you with your nerves to stew in your gut until the boys show up. 

Keeping yourself busy is definitely the best way to prevent a downward spiral into anxiety, so you double-check each horse’s equipment to make sure everything is secure and ready for the ride. Even taking the time to give all the horses a little pep talk. Maybe that was more for yourself but who’s to say?

As promised, it isn’t long before you hear the telltale signs that the boys are coming closer. The loud laughs and teasing bickers pulls an uncontrollable smile onto your face, a giddy feeling replaces your apprehension. This whole situation suddenly feels unreal. 

Yesterday, you’d been too worried about making sure they knew the dos and dont’s of safety to process the fact that you were face-to-face with your favorite group. Now, you just can’t believe you’re lucky enough to get to talk to them! Let alone spend the entire afternoon teaching them about a passion of yours, horses and riding! 

You turn just in time to see the same boy who you’d fateful met yesterday running towards you in the most adorable way; arms hanging at his sides, ‘running’ being a loose term, looking more like a happy trot just to get to you a little quicker than the others, and a huge smile spread across his face. And you can’t help but grin back, your excitement to see him just as high as his to see you it seems. 

“Hello again,” he says in a hushed greeting once he’s close enough. 

“Well hello there,” you return with a giggle. “Feeling up for being on the horse rather than underneath it?” 

Your teasing earns a smirk from the menace himself but he doesn’t get the chance to reply as the others finally have caught up. Chan comes up beside him and ruffles his hair, much to his displeasure. “Looks like you beat us here, Seungminnie!” He teases, turning to you without paying any attention to the glare from the younger. “And you must be Y/N! I’m Chan, it’s nice to officially meet you!” He smiles and bows respectfully.

“Yes! It’s nice to meet you too!” You agree, returning his respect. He grins wide at you then turns to the others. 

“Everyone say ‘annyeonghaseyo’ to Y/N-ssi!” He instructs. 

All the boys turn to you with their hands folded in front of them as they bow, saying in unison, “Annyeonghaseyo, Y/N-ssi.” 

A blush spreads across your face, eyes scanning over them bowing towards you while you catch sight of the cameras in the corner of your eye. Way too much attention is directly on you right now. You have to divert. You hastily bow over and over towards them with a loud, nervous laugh.

“Hello! Thank you!” You straighten up as they do and offer a sincere smile. “It’s wonderful to meet all of you,” you tell them, looking at each of them to show how much it really means to you. Another camera pointed at you catches your eye and your shoulders stiffen, nerves returning. “We should probably get started!” 

That sets the other Aussie member bouncing on his heels.

“Yes please! Which one is mine?? I can’t wait to pet them!” Felix’s excitement sends the group into a fit of laughter as they begin teasing the ball of sunshine in a mix of Korean and English. 

With the boys talking and distracting the cameras, you take the opportunity to turn away to act like you’re adjusting Storm’s harness. But actually, you inhale a shaky breath. 

“Hey,” the soft greeting still startles you slightly. You find Seungmin beside you now, one hand gripping the mic on his shirt, the other lifted to pet Storm’s snout. 

“O-oh! Hey,” your chin ducks in embarrassment. Now you’re stuttering? This is a disaster. 

“Don’t let the cameras scare you. You’re doing great,” he says. And when he looks over to meet your eyes, you can see his sincerity. 

You breathe out a sigh, relieved from the show of support. “Right, yeah,” after just a moment’s pause you add, “Thank you.” 

The smile that lights up his face sends a swarm of butterflies fluttering in your stomach. That expression makes it clear why he’s known as a puppy. You can practically see his proverbial tail wagging behind him and you can’t help but think it is absolutely adorable.

”Ah-yah! Seungmin~!” Felix whines, causing your spine to stiffen like you’ve been caught with your hand in the cookie jar. “You’re already petting the horses?! I asked first!” 

Seungmin releases his muffled mic and turns with that teasing smirk of his. “If you weren’t running your mouth, maybe Y/N-ssi would be able to introduce us to them.” He spouts in Korean. 

At the indignant cry from the younger Aussie boy, you wave your hands in front of you. “No, no! It’s alright! You weren’t interrupting anything! We aren’t in a rush!” You quickly assure…also in Korean. 

All the boys freeze to stare at you with wide eyes. The almost eerie silence from them all draws a cold sweat to your skin. 

“You…speak Korean?” Chan asks, his face reflecting the astonishment, almost skepticism, in his voice. 

“Well, I’m still learning… but I’m getting pretty good at understanding,” you say as your shoes become incredibly interesting. 

Suddenly, a different pair of shoes joins in your line of vision. Your wide eyes lift to find the maknae of the group standing there, looking at you with starry eyes, and before he says, “Noona is so cool!” 

A chorus of agreement from Han, Felix, and Changbin sounds behind the youngest causing your face to erupt into the color of a tomato. Chan, bless his soul, is quick to step in, settling the boys down and regaining focus to their task ahead of them for filming. By the way he talks, they’ll probably be editing a lot of that out. Which you’re beyond grateful for.

“Cool. Now, where were we?” Chan offers the stage back over to you. 

“I was just about to introduce you all to your horse partners for the day!” 

A few of the members can’t help their eager squeals as you go on, walking over to the first horse in line. A gorgeous black stallion. 

“Here at Hooves and Harmony Riding Academy, we’ve been very fortunate to raise a wide variety of breeds on the ranch. Some of those are particularly rare, like this boy here!” You explain, mostly for the cameras. “Chan, you’ll be working with Shadow today. He has high energy but is surprisingly patient with his riders!”

The eldest walks up slowly, his face showing his awe for the creature as he takes your place beside him as you move to the next. This stallion has a thicker build with an almost black mane and solid brown coat. His snout being the exception as it looks like he dipped it in white paint. “Lee Know, this is Copper. He’s big but a total sweetheart. I think you’ll work really well with him.” 

Minho’s lips are pouted in the shape of an O as he places a gentle hand on the white muzzle of the horse. You smile to yourself (so far so good!) before walking to the next. Changbin bounces on the balls of his feet in anticipation, eyes locked on the horse he knows is going to be assigned to him. One of the strongest horses you’d been allowed to pick from. His bulkier muscles covered with a beautiful red-toned coat with black tips to his ears and legs to match his black mane. “I can see you’re excited, so Changbin, this is Jersey. He’s our biggest bay boy!” 

The boy can’t help his ecstatic shout and he gets a few panicked looks that he’ll startle the huge animal. “Don’t worry, he’s super tolerant to noises so you shouldn’t have any issues with him,” you assure everyone with confidence. Changbin hurries over with the biggest smile you may have ever seen on him. 

“Y/N-ssi really has thought of everything!” He cheers, patting his horse’s neck as he takes his place.

You try to push down the blush that heats your face while you make your way over to the dark chocolate spotted mare. “This sweet girl’s name is Daisy. She’s a little dramatic at times but she is one of the most reliable of the bunch!” You explain, looking to Hyunjin. “I thought you’d enjoy this fun little fact too! Most people like to refer to horses with this pattern on her coat as ‘paint’ horses.”

Hyunjin’s eyes widen and sparkle. “Because it looks like she’s been splattered with paint!” He beams, immediately befriending the mare with chin scratches that there’s no way he could have known were her favorite.

You giggle, continuing on to the next; an older mare but no less beautiful. Her white coat littered with hundreds of little brown specks. “And this is Freckles! Our resident leopard! She’s the oldest in this group so she’s very laid back and easy to work with.”

Han gives you a skeptical look, knowing by the order you’ve introduced the members to their horses so far that this is his, then glances at Felix. Thinking you’d accidentally mix them up because they’re so close in age that they’re almost twins. You laugh a little at the subtle implication. “Even though her looks would make you think I’d pair her with Felix, I think you’ll have a lot of fun with her today, Han! She has been known to play little tricks on the other horses from time to time.” You say with a mischievous wink.

The rapper’s heart-shaped smile spreads across his face at this news and he greets the mare with hesitant hands at first. That is until Freckles presses her snout into his palms, impatient for attention. 

When you look over to Felix, you can see his excitement already bubbling over the surface. The boy basically vibrating with the biggest eyes and smile. You walk over to the beauty he will be handling for the day. Her cream-colored coat only a few shades darker than her white mane, the longer hairs adorning a slight curl not super common with their other horses. 

“Felix, I’d like to introduce you to Rosie! She is always so poised and calm, not to mention absolutely stunning! I think you two will have a nice relaxing ride together.” Having been the most giddy of them all from the get-go, it doesn’t surprise you when he sprints to take his place beside the elegant steed. 

Only two more. And so far, they’ve all been super happy with your choices of companions for them. But why are your palms sweaty and your heart racing even thinking about telling Seungmin about your choice for him? 

You manage to swallow the lump of fear in your throat and keep moving, avoiding lifting your head his way. Instead, coming up beside the chestnut spotted mare with more white than spots. You reach up and brush the fringe of her mane away from her eyes. ‘It’s her moment in the spotlight, gotta make sure she’s looking her best!’ The internal monologue makes you chuckle under your breath. 

It’s impossible to avoid the inevitable forever though, so you finally look over to Seungmin. His eyes are watching you. Your gaze meets his and it feels like the world is frozen. Or maybe it’s only you. But you also can’t seem to care. 

You don’t know how long you stand there just staring into his warm brown eyes, but the only thing that snaps you out of it is the smirk that tugs at his lips with a soft chuckle. Eyes blinking rapidly, you take a quick glance around to find everyone looking at you curiously. By some miracle, your face doesn’t turn beet red (at least you don’t think so) when you try to play it off with a little cough to clear your throat. 

“Sorry, uh, this next girl is very special to me. Her name is Pearl.” You say with a smile as you pet her soft nose. “She came to the ranch at the same time as my horse Storm did. And they’re best buddies, virtually inseparable! So, by association, we’re virtually inseparable!” The boys all join in with your laugh. “But I would trust this girl if I was riding blindfolded, so I know she will take good care of you.” You turn to smile warmly at her intended rider.

Seungmin steps forward until he is in your space, casually placing his hand on the horse’s neck. You vaguely hear the other members talking but you’re too busy fighting the racing of your heart. The pounding deafening to your own ears and you’re marginally worried that the mic pinned to your chest will pick up on all of it. 

“Thank you for entrusting me with her.” His voice just over a whisper. You let out a giggle. 

“Or I am trusting her with you,” you counter jokingly. “Can’t say you haven’t given me reason to believe you’ll fall off.” He breathes out a laugh, eyes sparkling with mirth and maybe something else you can’t quite place. All you know is that you’d give anything to turn the cameras off and get to talk to him without these extra nerves buzzing in your gut.

“I’ll try not to, but no promises,” he jokes. 

“I’m still going to hold you to it, Puppy Boy.” 

The two of you laugh a little too loudly and catch the attention of Felix next to you. You don’t see the knowing smile on his face before he gives the younger member a light shove, a gentle reminder of where they are and who is around. Both of you seem to sober up as your backs straighten and he offers you an apologetic smile. 

“Let’s move on while the staff are still distracted by my loudmouth brothers,” Seungmin says with a teasing eye roll. 

“Hey, I heard that,” Felix grumbles under his breath. You giggle at the baritone showing in his voice, the first time hearing it. Momentarily you wonder how many times you might be able to aggravate him enough to hear it during the trail ride. But you catalog that in the back of your mind for later. 

Making your way around the singer, with a shy tip of your head, you come to the last of their partners. The stallion growing excited as soon as he sees you approaching, his head bobbing dramatically up and down as a show. His black mane thrashing in the crisp February air. 

“Hey now, Monster! Behave yourself, we have guests!” You scold without any bite. You manage to catch his bridle and settle him down, rubbing a hand along his strong brown neck. He still attempts to wrap around your front to lay his head on your shoulder but you stop him with a laugh. You release the strap and ruffle his bangs, just over the single white spot on his forehead. 

“Last but certainly not least, I.N you will be working with Monster! He is such a jokester and so fun to ride. I think you two will get along really well!” You tell the maknae who looks giddy with his own excitement. 

The youngest trots over and the big brown horse immediately takes a shining to him, tapping his foot happily as he nudges his hand for pets. It feels good that everyone seems happy with the horses you’ve assigned to them. And the horses seem content with their riders, so you take it as your first win of the day!

You move back to the front of the line and untie Storm’s reins, leading into the space the boys had just occupied, where all of them can see you. “Now that we’ve gotten the introductions out of the way, let’s really get started!” You cheer, ready to get them mounted in their saddles and riding so you can all be back from the first trail by lunchtime.

~*~

taglist

@kangaracha @rainfallingfromthesky @puppysmileseungmin @defnotfertilizedtoesw @teenyfinds @bbokari711 @lakoya @keepswingin

[thedevilsoftruth]

Tomorrow: Shane's Journal

I had this idea for a long time, and that idea was to write 5 journal entries going through important time stamps of Shane's life. These entries are written through the lens of Shane himself, almost as if he actually wrote them. Nothing stated in here is 100% cannon. These are all simply headcanons I have of Shane and his life, and i hope you all enjoy it!

For clarity, I think Stardew takes place in 2016, given that's when it was released, and i also hc Shane to be 35, so he was born in 1981 in this fic. A little bit random, but that's just something to chew on.

Tw: This fic goes over very sensitive topics such as suicide, mentions of self-harm, shootings, depression, alcohol addiction, childhood trauma, and a lot of Atheism.

◇◇◇

September 8th, 1996

Hey god, if you're listening, why are you doing this to me? I've tried and tried and tried all I could, all day, every day. No matter what people threw at me, I still fucking took it because I didn't want to end up being a dead beat like my stupid fucking father. I'm sorry. I'm angry. What's the point of fucking living if everyday I'm in goddamn pain, and If all my nights are spent sleepless as I sob? I've prayed and prayed and prayed for things to get better, but nothing is getting better, and I want to die. The only thing good in my life right now is my gridball team. My parents don't fucking love me, I'm a failure to everyone I know. I'm starting to think this world would be better off without me.

God, please, help me. Guide me to a newfound happiness, please. I can't go on like this anymore. I want to have hope, I need to have hope. It's what Marnie tells me every day. But I can't if things continue to go to shit. Well, im going to lie down now. Tomorrow is a new day... right?

- Shane .H

September 10th, 1996

You're a liar, you're a fucking liar. Screwed up, fucked up, arrogant, selfish liar. I was blind to your lies, deceived by the promised hope of a good life, and yet you took my hope and smashed it against the wall. I hate you. I hate all of you. I want to cut myself and die as I bleed out.

Everyone is turning against me. Ethan wasn't there for me when I told him to stay outside my aunt's house last night. My mother tried to kill me last night, and my father wouldn't dare to bat an eye at me. I don't know what I fucking did to deserve this. Mom hurt Marnie. Everyone was screaming, I felt like my ears were going to bleed. I ran away. Mom tried to throw a knife at me, so I ran away. Ethan got me high before that and was supposed to stay outside of Marnies ranch for me incade anything happened, but he fled afterward.

They had told me they didn't want me at Marnies house anymore when they were gone. But I couldn't stop myself. They hadn't been home in a week, and I needed comfort. They are always fucking gone they are always never home or.... used to not always be home.

I stayed at Micheal's house last night. I went back to Marnie's this morning. My parents killed themselves an hour after I left. They did it in front of Marnie, and she couldn't do anything to stop them. They wouldn't listen to her. Marine is going to be my guardian. We're going to make frequent trips to Zuzu city for our therapy sessions.

I don't think I'll be going back to school. I hate myself. I hate my life. My parents died because of me. I wasn't a good son, I never was. Maybe if I had been better and didn't get high, sneak out, or get bad grades all the time, they would have loved me. But if there's anything I hate the most at the moment other than myself, it's you, God.

- Shane .H

November 27th, 2010

I thought I was getting better. I thought things were going to be okay. I haven't taken therapy since I was 20. I'm gonna need it after today because I'm having the biggest downward spiral since 1996. I started to believe again. I started to read the Bible and pray because things were getting better, but all of this shit coming back to me tells me that there is no God up in the sky. It's a joke. A stupid dumb lie that innocent people like myself get mind-fucked into believing is real. But it's not. It's a load of fucking shit.

God took away everything that I have ever loved in my entire life and hollowed out my soul until I was nothing, and left me with stupid fucking priorities that I can't fucking handle! I didn't want a child. Not now, not ever. This child isn't mine. How am I supposed to fucking provide for her, if I'm working 9 hours a godamn week at a fucking grocery store? Damn it. Damn it all to hell.

One second, I'm at a fair with my two best friends i haven't seen in years who are parents now, the other second they're killed in a shooting and I'm stuck with their fucking kid!

I don't want this, I don't fucking want this at all. Kill me, please, God. I can't even write this with how shaky my fucking hands are. I wish I never crossed paths with Micheal, even if it's been 12 years since I've seen him. I can't do this. I can't go on anymore. Tell me one reason why I shouldn't put a bullet in my head like my fucking parents did?! Fuck you, and fuck your stupid fucking cult, and fuck your beliefs, and fuck it all!!!

- Shane .H

December 23rd, 2016

I love you, Marnie. I love you, Jas. I love you, Michael and Alejandra. I love you, Mom and Dad. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm a failure. All I've ever done to you all was bring you pain. I'm a dead beat. I don't deserve your kindness or your patience. I'm a fat, alcohol addicted, low-life, dick face who's never made any achievement in life. I can't even get myself out of bed in the morning. I black out almost every night from drinking too much. I could never get a good job here in the fucking town.

My life has brought me nothing but pain. Nobody wants someone lin their life who can't even do something as simple as brushing their teeth.. I'm nothing but a mere parasite, eating away at people's lives.

I'm sorry, im sorry, I'm sorry, but today is the day.

You won't have to deal with me anymore, and I can finally be free from this never-ending hell.

Goodbye, world.

- Shane .H

December 23rd, 2018

2 years. I've been sober for 2 years now.

On this day, two years ago, I tried to end my life. I almost drank myself to death, but a farmer noticed me near the cliff and supported me. They brought me to a hospital, and I went back to Zuzu city to try therapy again. It's still embarrassing when I think about it. Those memories don't make me nearly as sad anymore, I just get... kind of embarrassed. It's like... wow, I was like that? What an asshole, hehe.

Well, my sobriety isn't the only thing I'm proud of.

Jas is eight years old now! I finally saved up enough to move out of Marnies and into the city. I got a new job, and I have a cousin here who is watching over Jas during the day after she comes home from school. She has a lot of friends now and is boy crazy... oh dear, I still don't like the thought of that. My hours aren't the best, but it makes me money and keeps a roof over our heads. I work on service tech. I didn't know I liked cars so much, haha! Everyone there is really cool and nice, and it's helped me with coming out of my shell a little bit.

On holidays, me and Jas go back to Stradew Valley to see Marnie. We have frequent calls with her, and I also make sure to pay the farmer a visit. Jas and I bake them cookies as a thanks for literally saving my life. Sometimes she eats them in the car...

Well, anyway, I start work in a little bit. Just wanted to let everything all out. Today is a new day, after all.

- Shane .H

[messy-crisantemo]

Since we’ve entered a Gentan renaissance, I figured I should make a

🍉 GenTan fic recommendation list 🎴

(Edit: Now we have a Part 2!)

Note that this is a list of personal favorites based on my likes and the many (yet not all existent) fics I’ve read. They’re not put in any particular order and they’re all completed fics. I’m adding some of the tags, but not all of them since I don’t want to make this post extra long, so please read them again once you go to the Ao3 link. And finally, if anyone is anime-only, even if a fic is spoiler free, it’s likely that it’ll have some reference to Genya’s abilities or family relationships, so be careful.

That being said, we proceed!

Don’t Talk to Me by 125389, 9k

(Red Light District Arc, Canon-Typical Violence, Meet-Cute, Strangers to friends to enemies to ???, Humor, Crushes)

A second impression, a star-crossed meeting, a misunderstanding. Each was there to do his job, to keep matters strictly business, but when have things ever been that simple?

Beautifully written, fantastic humor, and just GenTan inevitably falling for each other (both romantically and literally).

To Be The Piece You Need by Gilberrts, 11k

(Alternate Universe - High School, Dialogue Heavy, Friends to Lovers)

Shinazugawa Genya's life is in a downward spiral. He has no friends, his grades are on thin ice, and he can't seem to stop outgrowing his clothes. Then, when his relationship with his brother finally hits rock bottom, Genya has a strange encounter with the sole member of the school's cooking club.

Hurt-Comfort scenario where, of course, Tanjirou is the comfort.

Rest + Recovery by aizetsus, 2k

(genya is stressed, post Swordsmith Village Arc)

Genya gets overwhelmed pretty easily. Especially when faced with a cute boy.

It wouldn’t be a GenTan rec list without our traditional, fluffy scenario of Genya pining for Tanjirou.

Cardinals by bluejelly245, 8k

(Modern AU, Wakes & Funerals, Hurt/Comfort, Conversations, Friendship/Love, Past Abuse)

Genya and his family attend the funeral wake for Tanjiro’s father, much to the younger Shinazugawa boy’s dismay. The last thing he wanted to do was spend his evening surrounded by tears and grief, but what he least expected, was to end up on Tanijro’s bedroom floor, comforting the strange boy after his loss.

Genya discovers he is a good person, so sweet despite the gloomy scenario.

loveholic by mimimimi (reiiiiii), 81k

(Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, CEO Genya, Slow Burn, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Aged-Up Character(s), Strangers to Lovers, No Spoilers, Relationship Study)

Tanjirou lives a normal life as a university student on his last year, struggling financially to maintain a life that's not affordable anymore. On the other side, Genya is back to Japan after 17 years living overseas, ready to ruin his father's attempts to save face after several mistakes.

Both are on the edge, about to fall apart.

What will happen once their different worlds collide?

One of those fics that make you squirm under the blankets at 2am because you just can’t stop reading.

A tale of young love and starry nights by kenmagoesblep, 3k

(Canon Divergence, Post-Canon, Fix-it, Fluff and Humor, Getting together, Love Confessions, Festivals, Minor Spoilers)

The sun is already down by the time they arrive and the colorful paper lanterns bathe the streets with a faint whimsical warm glow, highlighting the easy smiles of the festival attendees and the natural glisten of the fresh food in the stalls. Their eyes immediately go to the makeshift gate made with bent bamboo, all adorned with people’s written wishes, to be sent to the heavens by the end of the night.

Genya’s handwriting is shaky but hopefully the crooked words will carry his wish just fine.

Sweet, sweet, sweet.

diet soda society by beecalm, 6k

(Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff and Humor, Genya makes bad life choices, Brunch, No Spoilers)

Genya knows he should just tell the truth. He got frustrated, and thought that strong words of persuasion would revive his bike from the dead. Non-judgemental as he is, Tanjiro would probably just laugh it off and walk home with a smile on his face.

“I got into a fight,” Genya lies, instead.

(or; Genya yells at his bike, lies about his ability to kick ass, and gets indoctrinated into Kamado Tanjiro’s Saturday morning brunch club.)

GenTan + friends in a super silly and funny scenario.

July by 125389, 45k

(Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Canon Compliant, Modern Setting, Reincarnation, Manga Finale Spoilers)

It could've been just another weekend, just another month, just another season passing by, but instead they made that summer theirs.

Two teens discovering love naturally and intensely. Tears were shed and hearts were healed. It might or might not be a Fix-it.

Tonight’s sky by Wild_Quetzal, 6k

(Canon Compliant, Missing Scene, Hashira Training Arc, Introspection, Pining, Arguing, Light Angst, Fluff, First Dates, First Kiss, Hopeful Ending)

Tanjirou didn’t recall having watched so many people gathered before, not even when his sister and him went to Asakusa. Everything was so appealing and, at the same time, disorienting for him.

He would’ve been feeling lost if it wasn’t because Genya was beside him.

(Or, sharing a night at a festival with Genya should’ve been easy, if it wasn’t for an unexpected event and Tanjirou himself getting in the way)

Yes, we got to the self-promotion part. I’m especially proud of this one <3

And last but not least!

Todo empezó con (un beso) una despedida by Dogchasingcars, 20k

(Manga Spoilers, Post-Canon, First Kiss, Love Letters, Long-Distance Relationship, Reunited and it feels so good, Family Bonding, Angst with a Happy Ending)

Lo que inicia como una breve despedida y la promesa de reunirse pronto (sellada con un beso), termina volviéndose una larga espera para volver a verse.

Because we’re not gonna leave the Spanish-speaking side of the fandom empty handed and it’s one of my favorite GenTan fics of all time. Melancólico y dulce, todo el dolor vale la pena.

[colorfulcowboykingdom]

Guess who's trying to write a post-island story (long post)

CW just incase: Mentions of depression, vague mention of death and trauma

**Note, I'm not good at writing characters, nor am I good at telling stories, tell me any changes I can make to this story Also, the descriptions are very vague because this is just the draft of it**

Over-run:

• Boys leave the island on May 23rd, 1953

• After being rescued from the island, the boys are sent to the hospital to have their injuries checked. Many boys families have either died, or have no way of finding there kids again so they stay at the hospital for a few weeks

• The boys are sent to the foster care system, some stay for a few weeks, and some stay for months or years

• If a boy was taken in by a family, they would either move to a different city or move to a different country, but most stayed in England

• The boys have trauma from the island and are either sent to boarding schools for troubled kids or go to therapy instead

• Some of the boys go back to the schools they had been in before (like the choir)

• Few boys partake in interviews about their time on the island (especially Ralph)

• Horrible things ensue after they get back, and things get worse during high-school

Now onto the characters in the story!!! (for now)

Ralph

• Spend 2 months in the foster care system, gets adopted by a new family (father is presumed to be dead, or either away from the country)

• Being in foster care messes him up a bit, conditions aren't good, he refuses to eat most of the food given to him, very agitated at this time, very jumpy and disconcerted.

• He has a hard time getting used to his new surroundings

• Very uncomfortable with his new family and finds it difficult to form a healthy bond with them

• His family thinks that if he talks about his feeling he"ll feel better, and might open up more. But we will not open up to his family about what happened, they try there best to help him but be won't budge

• Even though he doesn't like the idea, he's forced to go to therapy because his family thinks he needs to open up about his feelings and thoughts (also because he won't talk about anything with his family)

• He decides to pick up a diary and writes in it when he can't physically communicate with people (this becomes important for the plot)

• Therapy doesn't help, so he's sent to a boarding school instead (this doesn't help either)

• Graduates in 1959 ( gets held back one year, so he was supposed to graduate in 1958)

• Goes to college, drops out of two different ones due to troubles

• Settles down in his third college and meets Maurice (very unlikely but oh well)

• He hates his guts at the start but finds that he's starting to form a type of bond with him and gets very confused on why

• Few months pass and he meets other people from the island and it sends him to a downwards spiral

• Major survivals guilt

• Acute trauma (an isolated or single event that causes an individual to be traumatized)

• Very depressed

• Night terrors

• Dies in 1960 (will disclose how later...maybe)

• His diary is published as an autobiography by his foster family, this causes a documentary to be made about the island as things that haven't been told before are exposed and cause some outrage

Jack

• Spends one month max in the foster care system, his family is still in England and get called to get him out of the system

• Things are worse for Jack back home, his family has become more neglectful towards him and full on abandon him

• Due to lack of care from his family, he slowly depends on any form of attention wether it be positive or negative

• Develops mommy and daddy issues (damn!)

• Back at school, the choir disbanded and barely any of the members talk to each other. Almost everyone avoids Jack (except for Roger and, to an extent, Maurice)

• His parents don't even think to get him therapy, they send him to a boarding school for troubled kids. He's very afraid of being alone at this time, but luckily he meets Roger there so he isn't alone (There relationship is not healthy)

• There relationship can be described as codependent, and very one-sided

• Roger splits with Jack and it devastates him, he goes into a depressive episode for a few months

• Able to graduate in 1958, goes to college and somewhat gets better (then he meets Ralph, so not for long)

• Comes back in contact with some of the choir members, he only succeeded in getting in touch with Roger and, later on, Maurice

• Complex trauma (multiple traumatic events)

• Pushes the island trauma to the back of his mind to try and forget about everything, but it doesn't work

• Believes he's being haunted by Simon's ghost because he has nightmares where Simon appears most of the time

• Also depressed

• Finds out about Ralph's death and goes into another depressive episode for a span of 7 months

• He's included in the documentary after Ralph's death and has a copy of Ralph autobiography

This is all I have for now, I will post another part of Maurice, Roger, and Robert soon (may not be today)

[xxbottlecapx]

I liked your post about Steve having focal seizures and Eddie figured it out because he happened to be familiar with them because of past experiences, but tbh Robin seems like she could also be someone who could pin that down. We've seen her talk about medical stuff before, specifically with the rabies rant, but I'd like to think she often looks at conditions and she finds them morbidly interesting. Can I get a version where Robin is the first to notice? I'm thinking Billy caused them, but they happen seldom until the Russians make them worse, so she notices something but doesn't piece together that he's not just being stupid until after the Russians, but you can decide how you want to do it if you even decide to

You are absolutely right. I’m not entirely proud of how this came out but this is what I got, I hope it’s okay 💜💜

1985 scoops ahoy, before the fire. 

Robin didn’t know much about Steve Harrington. 

Well, that was a lie. She was a people watcher, after all. Robin knew a lot about Steve Harrington. She knew he had been the self proclaimed (Tommy-proclaimed) King of Hawkins High. That is, until Billy Hargrove smashed his face in and Steve started rolling around with a band of middle schoolers. His downward spiral had started with Nancy Wheeler and ended with Billy Hargrove (and Jonathan was, she had been told, somewhere in the mix.) 

Steve was bad at school but good with people, bad at reading but good at speaking, bad at instruments but good with sports. Good at making friends but bad at keeping them. 

He had graduated alone. No one was there with him when he left Hawkins high that final time. As far as Robin was aware, no one seemed to care when he left at all. Robin only noticed because she was a people watcher. She liked to know things. She liked to know things about people in any way she could. At first it had just been her wanting to mimic whatever it was that King Steve did that made Tammy Thompson like him, but it quickly became a fascination. She couldn’t even tell you why. But the longer she watched him, the more intrigued she got. Especially after Billy Hargrove. 

Either way, no matter what she did or did not know about Steve Harrington; The Steve Harrington she knew of from highschool was definitely not the Steve Harrington that applied to Scoops Ahoy. 

“Hi, uh, I’m- Steve,” The King Steve said. He was wearing the proper Scoops Ahoy Gear, but his hat was one backwards. 

Robin hadn't been told she was getting a new coworker. Yesterday, Daksha seemed absolutely fine. But today she was gone. And in her place was the former King Steve, in all his lack of glory. 

“What about Daksha?” Robin said instead of greeting him in kind. He hadn’t been a nice guy. Never picked on her specifically, but Tommy sure did. 

Steve doesn’t seem miffed by her deferral. 

“Who?” 

Robin rolls her eyes, grabs his hat to put it on him correctly, and hands him Daksha’s scooper. It was bright pink, bedazzled. She expected some sort of denial but Steve only holds the scooper so stiffly she thinks he might break the handle. 

“I’m Steve.” He blinked rapidly. 

Robin crossed her arms, leaning against one of the tubs of icecream that she liked to steal from when her manager, Kanan, wasn’t looking. She wondered if he would tell on her. 

“Yeah, I know” 

“Sorry, sorry, who-“ he squinted at her, then shook his head and pulled in his shorts. They were definitely too short for him. “Who are you?” 

Robin thinks about the name tag on her shirt in bright teal. “Moira.” 

“Nice. Uh. What do I do?” Steve takes it in stride, wandering around the room without any deemed purpose. He swallows hard once, twice, and follows Robin as she opens up shop. She makes him sweep the floor three times and he doesn’t complain once. 

Eventually, she has to turn the closed sign around. “Use that Harrington charm to get more tips.” She tells him when he just blinks at her some more. “I’ll handle scooping for now.” 

Robin is a people watcher. She learns that a few things on her Steve Harrington list need an upgrade. 

The Steve Harrington from Scoops Ahoy was nothing like Steve Harrington from Hawkins High. For one thing, that Harrington charm? Didn’t exist anymore. 

This is how the You Rule, You Suck board is born. 

“Why’s there a scar in your head?” She asks him, about a month into working together. 

“Uh- got in a fight.” Is all she gets. She stares at his shaking hands, and doesn’t mention it again. 

She doesn’t have to, it seems, because the middle schoolers that follow Scoops Steve around like a flock of confused ducklings are very quick to sing his praises. 

“You know Billy Hargrove?” Dustin asks one day. He’s hiding in the break room with her. A dude had been hitting on her for weeks so whenever she sees him, Steve takes his order and Robin flees. She sits on the table and stares intensely on the bundle of bananas right next to her. They’ve become Steve’s favorite food. 

“Who doesn’t?” She says in answer. Robin was, after all, still in school. 

She hasn’t known Dustin long, and she doesn’t really understand how or why Steve likes him so much, but she does know that Dustin can talk for hours. 

“I heard you asking Steve about that scar on his head. Billy, he had a thing against Lucas dating his sister,” Dustin starts, and Robin sighs before hanging herself half off the table despite her clear interest. She couldn’t let Dustin find out he had gotten her attention. 

“Because Lucas is black, so Max and I and Lucas were hiding at his house- for unrelated reasons, and Steve had to fight Billy or Billy was gonna kill Lucas.” 

Robin sits up so quickly she almost throws up. 

“It wasn’t good. Billy slammed his head in the ground a lot and hit him with a plate. We thought Steve was dead but then Max drugged Billy so we got out all right.” Robin isn't even able to process that information before Dustin is walking out the backdoor that leads to the theater. “I don’t even think Steve went to the hospital after.” 

It’s that last line that makes Robin look just a little bit harder, later in that day, when Steve’s hand is trembling too much for him to write on the chalkboard. 

And that faint fascination that Robin had previously had on King Steve quickly hopped like a flea on to Scoops Steve. 

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

There are many things that Robin knew about Scoops Ahoy Steve. 

She knew he had a favorite scooper- one that was just a little larger than the rest, with a different type of handle. Easier to hold, he said. 

She knew he couldn’t read what was on the menu, and that when she made him write their Scoop Of The Day on the chalkboard, the words didn’t always make sense (sometimes there wouldn't even be letters, just scribbles). 

She knew he couldn’t charm a girl to save his life, and sometimes when he spoke, the words didn’t make sense. She knew that sometimes his hands couldn't grab things (usually only for a minute at a time) and he liked to stare into space until she had to wack him upside the head.  

She also knew that Scoops Steve was very likely her best friend. Robin of a few months ago would have rioted at the very thought. But he was funny, and really nice, if a little confusing sometimes. He loved his little gremlin children and let her talk about her favorite interests that no one else was interested in (like zoonotic diseases, the differences in grammar structures in certain languages, and the central nervous system) 

Like Dustin said; A little dumb, slow on the uptake, but kind. 

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

Robin knows a lot about Steve Harrington. Things that she knows no one else knows. 

She knows that he purposefully harassed the Russian guards so they would beat him instead of her. She knows he spent his senior year fighting monsters, probably also did it before that. She knows that for all that confidence Steve exudes, he is achingly lonely. She knows that despite Steve not knowing anything about the queer community, his first instinct isn’t to belittle her, but to crack jokes to make her laugh. Even high off his ass, his immediate response was to try and make her feel better. The popular, rich, straight white guy treated her better in that moment than anyone else she had ever met. 

Most of all, she knows what it feels like to lay bleeding in an underground Russian bunker and believe, if only for a second, that Steve is dead. 

1986, Family Video, before Vecna. 

Robin grabbed a Terry’s Bitz bar from the candy section up front and tore into it. She hadn’t been able to eat at school. Every once in a while she would somehow get reminded of the Russian elevators and all that untapped trauma would leak out of her. Steve was, at this point, her emotional support human, and she really wished he hadn’t graduated, just like that guy Eddie Munson in her band class. She doubted she would ever get to talk to that one, though. 

She could hear Steve mumbling where the fuck am I? At the register before turning around and ducking under the register to grab at a fallen tape. 

“That one goes in the aisle with the pink stickers.” Robin reminds him. She had put small colorful stickers on each row of shelves because Steve had a hard time distinguishing what she wanted if she just said aisle three. 

Steve stared into space for a moment before nodding and walking that way with the tape, his left hand making a fist, relaxing, making a fist again. 

As always, Robin follows Steve around even when she isn't scheduled to work that day. It just means she gets to hang out with her best friend and laugh at him when he has to organize shelves by himself, taunting him about her Freedom. She does her biology homework behind the counter, staring at a map of the musculoskeletal system. 

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

There are a lot of differences between Scoops Ahoy Steve and Family Video Steve. 

Scoops Ahoy Steve couldn’t write legible sometimes, maybe 2 times a week. Family Video Steve couldn't write anything legible sometimes too, but five times a week instead of 2. Robin knows because she’s counted. 

Scoops Ahoy Steve didn’t get migraines (only headaches). Family Video Steve did. Scoops Ahoy Steve didn't throw up three times a week the way Family Video Steve did. Scoops Ahoy Steve didn't see the need to join Robin’s Yoga class offers the way Family Video Steve very easily caved into it. 

Don’t get her wrong- there are good differences, too. Family Video Steve will casually joke about her stealing his dates in a way Scoops Ahoy Steve didn't. Family Video Steve shared secrets with her, was more patient, acted less like a mom and more like an annoyed brother. Family Video Steve could admit he had a massive crush on the guy that ran the Hellfire club, who he's never talked to since he only sees him when he picks Dustin up (and of course, pretends to hate him). Family Video Steve, somehow, was even more of a best friend than Scoops Ahoy Steve. 

And Robin was a people watcher. That faint fascination she had taken to King Steve was now focused full-fledged on Family Video Steve. Her best friend. Her favorite person in the world, who sometimes forgot where he was, sometimes had bouts of confusing emotions he didn’t know how to deal with, moments where he struggled getting words past his lips, and trembling hands and legs that sometimes made him drop the tapes he organized at Family Video. 

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

I tried to get Steve to help me with my math homework, she had heard Dustin say. but I don’t know what this says.

You could have asked me, doofus. Steve can’t write for shit. Was Erica's reply. 

Robin knows that they don’t know that Steve heard them. This is also how she knows that it must be a bad day. Steve can write, she’s seen him do it, it’s just hard on other days. And his emotions can make things worse. She knows it’s going to be a bad day not because of Steve’s writing, but because she knows he heard Dustin and Erica say it. 

Robin was a people watcher. She knows that Steve’s picked up on whatever it is that changed him. Maybe he hadn’t, before the Russians, but she did. She knew him before the illegal drugs and head trauma that changed Scoops Steve to Family Video Steve. When she looked back, and remembered King Steve, even more differences were apparent. 

Despite the party’s claim that they were all baby geniuses, none of them have picked up on it. It didn’t make sense. But then Robin tried to think harder, use her deduction skills. 

Steve had protected these kids for years. They called him their mother. Children often can’t find fault with their parents. Sure, the party was old enough to start seeing it, but trauma can affect young minds in really confusing ways. It was very possible that the upside down had hurt their little group of freshmen (and Erica) in ways they couldn’t see. OCase in point- their protector, Steve, was different now. It’s possible they were, deep down, afraid of what it would mean if there was more change added to their traumatically changing lives. Steve was a pillar to them. More of a hero of stories than man.

So she tries to give them a pass. She really does. But she sees the look on Steve’s face when Dustin says it. Steve would never admit it, but Dustin and Erica were his favorites. Robin knew that what they thought mattered more than anything. Anyone else making jabs at Steve’s intelligence washed off him like he was covered in healthy duck feathers. And Steve wasn’t an idiot the way they thought he was. Your ability to hand-write or speak didnt dicacte your intelligence. They were just teenagers who hadn’t been taught that yet. 

Dustin and Erica weren’t inherently malicious. She knew they weren’t. She would just have to find a way to show the party that Steve wasn’t an idiot.

Of course, only three days later, a cheerleader dies in a drug dealer's basement, and her whole world is torn apart. 

1986, Borders Book Store, after Vecna. 

Robin couldn’t take it anymore. On her day off, she rushes to the library, which had very narrowly escaped the Vecna-induced earthquake. It had taken 2 weeks to kill him properly, but they had done it. That didn’t mean the town was allowed to quickly forget, though. 

Luckily for Robin and Steve, so many people moved away that there were multiple job casings still open. This was good because Steve got fired 2 times and whenever Steve got fired, Robin left too. Despite his very clear pros (like being a chick magnet) other places of employment didn’t fit him. 

Anyways. Robin checks herself into the cramped biological sciences section. She takes out a list of symptoms written on ratted yellow lined paper from her back pocket, and she starts to read. 

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

“What?" Steve replies, later, when she comes to him with an improvised list and a stolen library textbook. 

“Please, just listen.” She begged. They were on the floor, behind the counter of their current workplace. Sometimes if the streetlights were flashing, they’d get too scared to go home and just spend the night here. “It explains everything.”

“I can't- no, Robin.” He crossed his arms, then held himself in a tiny ball. His shoulders hunched in on themselves. “I know what a seizure looks like.” He whispered. 

“You know what one type of seizure looks like.” Is Robin’s rebuttal. “There are so many different kinds.” 

Steve swallowed hard once, twice, his left hand clenched and unclenched a few times. He nods, and lets her open the book. 

And öh, but of course, Sources 

Steve’s favorite food being bananas comes from this site, sometimes bananas help with epileptic seizures https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5855373/

Some of Steve’s symptoms come from here https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seizure/symptoms-causes/syc-20365711

Some tips for what to do when someone has a seizure https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/conditions/seizure-care

One of Robin’s special interests is the central nervous system,  which houses the brain, which is typically where seizures come from/originate. https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/brain-nervous-system.html

80’s Candy references, I cant promise you these were available in Indiana so just ignore that if they weren’t https://www.eightieskids.com/greatest-chocolate-bars-1980s/5

Steve’s spasms in his hands during seizures are caused by the connection of the brain to the musculoskeletal system, https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/14526-musculoskeletal-pain 

Steve self-rehabilitates himself with Yoga, it's a recommended exercise use for seizure patients https://lonestarneurology.net/blog/physical-activity-in-epilepsy/

I don’t know how libraries work since I’ve never been to one so if there’s inaccuracies, ignore it 

And of course, If my interpretation of a focal seizure is inaccurate, I do apologize. this one was a bit more general in the 'brain damage' section, though.

[avengersfantasies]

Truth or Dare (Bucky x Reader)

During a game of truth or dare, you are asked a question that sends you spiraling into a panic attack.

Author's note: The events described in this story are things that are very personal to me. Recently, I've been finding the memories of this day almost fifteen years ago coming back to haunt me, and so instead of crying myself to sleep, I decided to tell my story to my comfort character.

Please don't read if these things upset you: descriptions of panic attacks, sexual assault, and self harm.

This is my way of working through these traumatic events in my life.

Again, this is dark.

taglist: @pattiemac1 @justsebstan @winterslove1917 @crist1216 @lady-loki-barnes-djarin @kandis-mom @vonalyn @mavrellover91 @natashasilverfox @gojoismysensei @itsafamilyshow @casa-boiardi

It was a night you all had off – no missions to be done, so you and a select few of the Avengers decided that it would be a nice night to have some drinks and play some truth or dare. It started out as a fun game, but the more the drinks flowed, the more provocative the questions became…naturally. Next up, it was your turn.

            “Truth or dare?” Nat asked.

            It was the tenth time you’d gone, and you had a pattern by now. First you would say dare and then truth. This time, it was truth. “Truth.”

Nat thought for a second. “How old were you when you lost your virginity?”

It was that question…the question that had always sent you into a downward spiral. At hearing the word virginity, breathing became nearly impossible, your heart rate sped up, and your eyes widened. You thought you had gotten over this by now, but now you knew that the word still held its power over you. It still had the power to send you into a full-blown panic attack within seconds. The small group of people around you began to worry – asking if you were okay. Normally, you’d appreciate them showing concern for you, but at that moment, it was too much. Without a word, you got up from your spot on the floor and bolted to your room – closing and locking the door before letting your body fall to the ground. You had had enough of these by now to know how to put your head in between your knees and take as deep of breaths as possible.

            “Someone should go check on her,” Steve spoke up after a few tense and silent minutes.

            “I got it,” Bucky got up from his spot quietly and walked to your room.

He could hear you sobbing and panicking from the other side of the door, and while he had never been in this type of situation before, he knew the best thing to do was knock. “Hey,” he called out softly. “It’s me…you okay?”

“Y-Y-Yea-Yep” you unconvincingly stuttered through your heavy breaths. “F-Fine.”

Bucky let out a sigh. “Do…do you wanna talk about it?”

“Why does it matter?” you scoffed.

Bucky bit his lip and closed his eyes. “Because something’s hurting you, and you shouldn’t have to keep that all to yourself.”

His ears weren’t met with a response from you, but rather, the sound of the door unlocking and opening. “Come in.” Your voice was soft and quiet…the complete opposite of what he and everyone else was used to. He walked into the room slowly – following you and sitting next to you on the edge of your bed.

“I was fourteen,” you began silently. Bucky raised an eyebrow – confused as to what you were referring to. “The…you know…virginity thing.”

“Gotcha,” he nodded.

You looked over at him and found his eyes to be soft – his face showing great care and concern. You let out a sigh. You knew you needed to talk about it…it was something you had kept to yourself long enough. Whether or not you would embarrassingly break down in front of the soldier was to be seen, but you were pretty sure you would and then the entire relationship would be weird.

“I was fourteen,” you began – repeating what you had just said – more so for yourself than for him. Fourteen, you thought. At fourteen years old, you were just starting your first year of high school. It was supposed to be an unforgettable four years – a time of growing and learning who you were, but it ended up becoming unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. You didn’t remember high school for the fun parties and groups of friends you made, no. You remembered it as a time of trying to get rid of the memories that haunted your every waking second. The parties that others found fun, you used as a way to get free drugs and alcohol – hiding the dark secret you’d kept with you until this moment. “I had a boyfriend,” you continued. “He was eighteen, had a kid.” Your breath was shaky as you thought about the words you were planning on saying next. “He talked me into going on a quote unquote nature walk with him, and stupidly, I agreed…thought it would be something fun and romantic.” You scoffed at yourself. “He waited until we were deep into the woods, and he backed me up against a tree…took a knife out and told me that I was going to let him do what he wanted, or I’d regret it.” Your voice began shaking as you remembered the events from that afternoon. “He got me on the ground…I was too scared to even try to fight him off. I always thought that if I were in that type of situation, I’d be brave enough to fight back, but…I wasn’t. He got my clothes off…making sure not to rip them. At first, I wondered why he was even taking the time to make sure they stayed intact, but I realized that it would’ve looked bad if I had been coming out of the woods completely naked.” You squeezed your eyes shut – the memory of what happened next causing nausea to come over you. “He…forced my legs spread,” you continued softly – beginning to stare out into the space in front of you. “Forced his mouth on me…I yelled at myself the whole time to fight him off, but I never could bring myself to do it…and then when he got to taking his own pants off…it was too late anyway.” Your voice had gone flat – the effect of numbing yourself from the pain. “He tore me…using my screams cries of pain as something to egg him on. I tried not to give him that, but…it was instinctual…maybe if I scream loud enough for long enough, he’d get scared and run off or someone would hear me…Each thrust he did was harder than the last. My pain was his pleasure. I can still feel it now…the feeling of him ripping me open and turning an act that I had always seen as an act of love into something of hate. I can still feel his touch…feel him emptying himself inside me.” You bit the inside of your cheek and took a deep breath before continuing on – the super solider silently listening to every word. “I can still feel him dripping out of me,” you revealed in almost a whisper – barely loud enough for Bucky to hear.

            The room was quiet for a few seconds while Bucky gathered his thoughts – wanting to say the right thing in response to your confession. “Did you…report it?”

“No.” You scoffed.

“Why not?”

“Because,” you sighed, “when I was eight, I was touched by a neighbor of ours when he lured me into his house…a doctor that lived down the road…he had a large room with stuffed animals and things kids would like…when I told my parents about it, they beat me. So, why would I want to face that again?”

Bucky shook his head. “None of that was your fault.”

“I know that,” you retorted. “You heard of victim precipitation?” Bucky shook his head. “It’s a victimology theory that basically says the victim is somewhat responsible for what happens to them…not blaming the victim, but basically that the victim is a participant.” Bucky looked confused at the statement. “Basically, it’s like saying if you’re carrying around a large amount of money and showing it off, you’re more likely to be a victim of robbery…or in my case…if you follow someone into the woods, you’re putting yourself at risk of being a victim of an assault.”

Bucky nodded. “So like, if two people get into a fight and one dies, the victim participated in the events leading up to it.”

You nodded. “So, can’t really say it’s not my fault, can I?”

Bucky looked down. “Have you ever…talked to anyone about it? Done any sort of healing?”

“No,” you told him – lifting up your shirt and rolling up your sleeves to show him all of the scars on your body. The soldier furrowed his eyebrows with deep concern. “You’re the only one who knows,” you confessed quietly. His eyes scanned over all of the self-harm scars on your body…some being as recent as a week ago. “I thought that by scarring myself…making myself look unattractive or whatever that it’d help me feel better…keep someone else from wanting to touch me.”

He shook his head. “I’m not going to disrespect you by saying I understand…because I don’t,” he stated, “but…pain? I understand pain. I understand hating yourself. Now, I can sit here and tell you that you have no reason to hate yourself or that none of what happened was your fault, but I have no right to try to help you feel better by using clichés.” Bucky inhaled deeply before continuing. “But I will tell you that I am here if you ever need an ear.”