#and there’s no way in hell you can forgive joy for all the shit she pulled and not do the same for jerome

[frobisher-smythe]

I’m not here for the jerome hate ☹️

[rqgnarok]

standing ovation - jamie tartt

fandom: ted lasso

wc: 2321

warnings: mentions of jamie’s dad and DV, spoilers for ted lasso’s mom city. reader uses female pronouns. 

summary: reader sneaks into training grounds after richmond’s win against man city. seeing her is just what jamie needs. 

author’s note at the end!

There’s something in the air.

Jamie’s pretty sure Will sprayed some lavender shit all over the locker room again but that’s not quite what he means– he’s said goodbye to every single one of his teammates and all the coaches– and the locker room is now his and his alone. He locks away his dad’s ghost by locking up his phone, the simple message doing wonders to finish lifting that weight off his shoulders.

He wasn’t at the game. Or maybe he was, Jamie realizes now that it doesn’t really matter. A part of him will never stop looking over his shoulder whenever he visits his hometown for his dickwad of a father, but the older, bigger part of him knows Coach was right– his motivation doesn’t come from hating his dad anymore and it doesn’t have to. His forgiveness is for himself, for the little boy that had to build a mask to save himself from his dad, and for the man he is today because of him– and because of his mum, Keeley, Roy, Ted, his teammates–

The standing ovation at the end was more of a benediction than he’d like to admit. Everything about his hometown made him feel prickly; like he was a virus the town was doing its best to reject, and other than his quick visit to his mom Jamie expected the whole thing to be a disaster. The kids on the street, the people on social media, the rude assholes in the bleachers– Jamie thought that was all he was gonna get. Blind, thoughtless hatred despite Jamie trying his best.

He remembers Roy getting a standing ovation on his last game, while Jamie was still wearing Man City blue. He’d been appalled, unable to discern the possibility of someone hating you so much they respected you. All he’d ever gotten– from his dad, rival teams, his own team– had been everything except respect.

But they’d clapped for him. They thought him deserving of something precious and somehow it feels like permission. He can play for himself. He can come home without his dad’s ghost belittling him for not turning out the way he expected him to. 

Even Manchester hasn’t been home in a long time. Sure, his mom and Simon are there, but Richmond has his family, too– his friends, his teammates, his–

“Excuse me, I’m looking for my boyfriend. 5’9 not quite 6 foot, sexy as hell, the most fantastic football player to ever walk on Earth?”

Jamie’s lips involuntarily twist up as he glances at the door. (Y/N)’s a sight wearing her Richmond TARTT jersey, looking disheveled and flushed like the rest of the city probably is right now after their win tonight. 

Jamie doesn’t give a shit about the rest of the city, though. At least not right now. He cares about his girl sneaking in (with Keeley and Roy’s permission and advice, probably) to see him, normal sleep schedule be damned. 

He laughs, loud and unrestrained joy lighting up his features as he hobbles towards his girlfriend, letting himself be enveloped in a crush-tight embrace.

“Did ya watch it?” he wonders, forgoing his usual shy demeanor whenever (Y/N) praises him and just allowing his excitement to overflow, arms going around (Y/N)’s waist and hoisting her off the ground.

“Did I watch it, he asks,” (Y/N) scoff is downplayed by her big grin and the way she wraps her arms around Jamie’s neck as he spins her around, fucked up ankle be damned. “I couldn’t take my fucking eyes off of you, Jamie, oh, my God–”

She’s kissing him deeply, unable to contain her excitement. 

“You’re so fucking brilliant,” she whispers against his mouth, her hands at the nape of his neck making him shiver into her embrace, unable to get enough. “Oh, Jamie, that assist– the entire play for Colin’s goal? Your goal–”

“It was for you,” he tells as he drops her off, cupping her face in his hands and cheeks hurting with how wide he’s smiling. “I couldn’t celebrate but it was for you. For you and me mum, you were with me on the pitch the whole time–”

He stumbles a little as he drops her on the ground and (Y/N) tenses in his arms. She looks him over, suddenly worried. “Oh, shit. Your ankle, dumbass, are you okay? Fuck, did I–”

“Angel,” the nickname has her melting almost immediately just like he thought it would, a five-word weapon he’s never gotten tired of wielding. (Y/N) pouts at him, still concerned, and Jamie can’t have that, he kisses the expression off her face immediately. It should be illegal for her to be sad, no, sir. “‘s not even a sprain. It was probably the panic of bein’ in the same place as me dad, to be honest.”

Something steely flashes through her eyes, there and gone in a second, at the mention of Jamie’s dad. (Y/N)’s never been anything other than kind about it, but Jamie doesn’t doubt she’d beat the old fart up if she were given the chance. 

The thought only makes him smile.

“Did you? See him?” she wonders cautiously. She’s touching him again after her moment of hesitation over his injury, hands doing soothing motions up and down his sides. Jamie fights off a shiver.

“Nah,” he says simply as if the thought of crossing paths with him didn’t have him toeing the line of a panic attack the entire three days they were in Manchester. “I don’t know if he was there, and if he was, I didn’t see him. I don’t think I care anymore. It’s for the best, really.”

(Y/N)’s expression brightens, though they both know they’re not done talking about it. Jamie wishes it could be as easy as turning off his phone and forgetting about his dad, but his skin already itches a little with the idea of getting a text back from him. He’s also no doubt that (Y/N) will hold him throughout it all. 

“I did see me mum.”

“How is my favorite Tartt?” she teases.

“Happy,” Jamie says softly, always the most important thing to consider when it comes to his mother. Ever since he was a toddler and he gained acknowledgment of his dad’s actions; after an especially gruesome argument that ended with his dad breaking a few photo frames and plates, stumbling his way out of the apartment, and slamming the door shut, Jamie would climb on his mom’s lap and wipe her tears as best he could with his tiny clumsy baby fingers. “Yeah, she was real happy. And for me, too. Even before the match, she was happy to see me, happy to… jus’ happy.”

“That’s good, sweetheart,” she threads her fingers through Jamie’s hair to keep it off his face, his headband lost somewhere in his lockers or amongst the rest of the dirty laundry. He’ll have to tell Will to watch out for it, he’s a little attached to it after the night he’s had. 

Jamie’s usually not the one to believe in lucky garments or charms but– well. He feels pretty lucky right now; that (Y/N) saw some worth in him when they met and makes the choice to love him and come home to him, day after day, whatever the outcome may be. 

(Y/N) looks at him adoringly like she knows what he’s thinking. “Did’ya get your wings back, then?”

Jamie grasps her hand in his and turns to kiss the inside of her wrist, only slipping a little bit of tongue. “Nah. They was never gone. All I needed was a little help to see.”

He frowns before (Y/N) can answer. “I was gonna say something stupid like ‘you’re me wings’ but that’s disgusting and I hate it. I would never say something like that. ‘m not Roy.”

(Y/N)’s laugh is surprised and comes deep from her belly. “Are you telling me Roy Kent’s a secret romantic?”

“Big old softie, that tosser,” he rolls his eyes. “He snuck you in for me, didn’t he? That’s all you need to know about–”

(Y/N) shuts him up with a kiss just because she can, and they’re both smiling too hard for it to be a proper one. 

She says “He likes you. He’s proud of you. We’re all so proud of you,” while peppering kisses all over his face, landing on his cheeks, nose, temple, jaw, and corner of his mouth. “You’re so, so good, Jamie, I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” he says, because there’s not gonna be a single time in which she tells him that and he doesn’t reciprocate. “Mum said that, too. And Keeley and Roy. And Coach, too, I guess, in his own way. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without them.”

“I can’t believe I missed it,” (Y/N) pouts and beats herself up over it for the thousandth time. Jamie presses a kiss to the space between her eyes for the thousandth time in response. “I should’ve been there, I should’ve told my boss to go to hell–” 

“You’re here,” he tells her, shaking her a little by the shoulders and looking her over like he can’t quite believe it. That she’s here in the locker room, in his life, loving him like he’s always desperately wished for but never thought he’d deserve. “What was I gonna do, put my dumb ankle into ice and sit alone in the dark?”

“‘m sure Roy and Keeley would be here drinking champagne with you if I wasn’t here.”

“And what could we be doing that is keeping them away right now?” he raises his brows, sneaking a hand down her back lower, lower, lower–

(Y/N) slaps his chest, though a gleam in her eye tells him she’s not saying no to anything. “You’re…” she drifts off.

He smirks cockily. “Unbelievable?”

(Y/N) shakes her head imperceptively. “Nah. I always knew you could do it. But you’re breathtaking, I’ll give you that. As if your ego needs it.”

Jamie’s mouth softens into a smile, soft and apologetic. “I’m sorry.”

(Y/N) frowns a little at the sudden shift in conversation. “Whatever for?”

“I’ve been a dick these past couple of weeks–”

He had. (Y/N) won’t let him admit it but he wasn’t lying when he told Roy he wasn’t doing well. Not eating, not sleeping, waving off (Y/N)’s concern with a little too cold shoulder. It made him feel a little too much like his dad, and that thought only dragged him further down.

It had been (Y/N) who suggested Jamie pay a visit to his mom while in town for the game, and when he’d mentioned this to her she’d smiled knowingly, ran a hand through his hair, and made him promise an introduction soon. 

“You were anxious,” she corrects him with a shake of the head, won’t let him speak ill of himself when all he did was have a normal, human reaction to a very triggering situation. “And I’ve been worried about you but you don’t have to apologize, Jamie. Not to me, not in a million years.”

“Alright,” he says, soft and charmed. He soothes his thumb over her knuckles, featherlight. He looks down at their intertwined hands for a beat or two, gently swinging them back and forth. “Then can I apologize for shutting you out? I know you were only trying to help. I’ll do better next time at letting you know what I need.”

“And I’ll do better at listening,” she assures him with an indulgent smile, using her free hand to trace the Richmond crest of his shirt. “Look at us, communicating and shit.”

Jamie scrunches his nose in faux disgust. “Gross,” he says, but even the facade is too much to keep up when (Y/N) nudges his nose with hers. His lips tilt upwards against his best intentions, drunk on her presence and something inside his chest brimming with unstirred delight. 

(Y/N) exhales against his mouth. She hasn’t been more than a few inches away from him since she came down to meet him, always touching him.  

“What do you wanna do, huh?” she asks him, pulling at the bottom of his shirt. “Anything you want. We can go get some takeout from that burger place you like or maybe something fancier? We can go home and get some ice on that ankle–”

“It’s nothin’–”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” by that, she means when the team doctor gives him the all clear and he isn’t limping slightly with every step he takes. It’ll take a while but Jamie can take it, especially if any downtime comes with them spending the days together. She makes a questioning hum. “But we can do that tomorrow, then. Tonight, whatever you want. You’ve earned it.”

And Jamie does feel like a winner. Not only because of the three points they managed to steal from Man City but because he gets to come home to this. He gets to leave his dad behind in Manchester and his mom in safe hands, he gets to accomplish his dream for himself and the people that love him instead of trying to prove someone who hurt him wrong. 

He gets to live for himself. Coach Lasso was right, him forgiving his father was the kindest thing he could do for himself. 

“I want this,” he murmurs against her temple, breathing in the smell of her perfume and taking in the warmth of her body against his. “I got all I need right here.”

(Y/N) smiles and crowds even closer, pressing a kiss to his jaw. 

A beat. Then–

“So that’s a no for a quickie in the locker room, then?”

(Y/N)’s laugh tastes like a standing ovation.

_________

precious little jamiebaby i hope i did you justice ily

i was ready to make an angsty peace about him but mom city left me craving to give him a moment of peace so ta-da! thank you so much for reading and letting me know what you think!

a reminder that commissions and asks are open!

<3

masterlist / ao3 / ko-fi

[papil0nglegs]

Father!Adam + Daughter!Reader

Chapter 1: “Golden hour”

Ch.1 Ch.2

Warnings: Major grief, major character death(s), Family issues.

A/n: this just hurt to write 😭 Also I just wanna say Emily and Y/n aren’t together her, they’re just besties. I call my friends babe and refer to them as my girlfriends so I js put it here.

Readers POV:

It’s been weeks since the fight against hell. Dad still hasn’t returned, not home, not my phone calls, nothing. I tried calling Caine too but he hasn’t answered either, but I’m pretty sure he knows about it already.

*Knock Knock!!*

A quiet gasp leaves my lips when I hear the door knocking. Dad? Holy shit he’s here!! I quickly rush towards the door, slamming it open. Tears quickly form in my eyes, both from happiness and relief, he’s finally h-

Oh, it’s Emily and Sera. Emily doesn’t look too happy, that’s odd. Normally Emily looks happy to even exist, practically shaking with joy 24/7. But I get that she wouldn’t want to be smiling at a time like this.

“Hey y/n, how you’ve been holding up?” She asks with a concerned tone. I let out a sigh, stalling a bit before giving an answer “I’m doing alright” I shrug, attempting to hide the overbearing fear I’ve been holding for the past days. “May we come in? We just want to see how you’re doing, Caine has been busy for the past few days so we figured we’d drop by.” Sera insists, in her gentle and motherly voice. I guess it’d be nice to have some people over, especially at a time like this.

Third pov:

“So, what’s Caine been doing?” Y/n asks, “I’m sure it’s better than visiting your sister after your dad goes missin-“

“Y/n please!” Sera interrupts, almost angrily whilst Emily looks away shamefully. Sera sighs attempting to calm herself, “I know you’re angry, scared even, but Caine has been feeling the same way for weeks. He’s trying his best to find your father but luck hasn’t been on his side so far..” Emily stares into the table the 3 had been sitting on, while y/n looks away shamefully for saying such things about her dear brother.

Y/n looks back up at Sera, “F.. forgive me Sera. It’s just been, hard.” She says, asking for forgiveness as one does in heaven. “That’s alright,” Emily responds with a weak smile on her face “it hasn’t been easy for us either, your dad was a fun guy so now there’s sorta a sense of.. emptiness at the court.” Sera looks at the two, relieved that the tension has come down a bit. “Do you think Caine could use my help with finding dad? I’m sure I can help in some way! Please, I need to know if he’s okay.” Y/n asks desperately. But Sera isn’t sure about this. “Y/n, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be worried about your father. I mean, you seriously don’t look as fine as you think you do..” Y/n frowns at her response. “I think you should get some sleep, you look like you haven’t slept in days.” Sera suggests while Emily nods.

It takes a minute for y/n to respond, but she eventually comes to the conclusion that worrying about her father all week isn’t the healthiest thing to do.

Emily walks over to y/n helping her stand up from her chair, giving her a warm hug, Y/n’s cold body touching Emily’s warm arms. “It’s okay, we’ll find him babe.” She says smiling softly at her, y/n giving one back.

Flashback:

Adam lays on the soft clouds that is heavens land, staring at the sunset. He had been standing there for hours, completely still. “Dad?” Y/n says from afar, along with Caine. “Hey firefly’s..” He says to the pair, making a ‘cm’ere’ motion to them. The two oblige, sitting next to him.

“..you still upset about mom?” Caine asks, Adam looks down, tearing up a bit. “I.. I don’t know.” He says quietly. Y/n looks over at him with deep concern, “We miss her too Yknow, you don’t have to hide it.” She chuckles softly. But Adam’s feeling of loss felt different, like it was his fault, like he could’ve stopped it somehow. If only he was there, to stop Lucifer from giving her the Apple, maybe things would’ve been different. He remains silent, as his two sit there, waiting for a response of any kind.

Y/n and Caine look at the sunset that their father had just been staring at, “Mom liked the sunsets.. when we were alive.” Caine says trying to break some tension. “Yeah, she said she loved the way dad’s eyes turned golden when the sun hit them.” Adam looks over at y/n, a bit surprised, since this is something that he hasn’t heard before. “She said that?” Adam’s left over tears begin to flow down his cheek a bit, y/n looking as happy as ever, that her dad is finally talking. She missed his voice so much, “Oh right, I remember, she said it reminded her of oranges. Yknow, her favorite fruit.” Caine laughs.

Adam chuckles at the memory, it was like this but with Eve. And now, he’s able to recreate it with his kids, it was beautiful, the way the suns warmth hit them like a warm blanket. Y/n lays her head on his left arm, while Caine does the same, feeling the soft cloth that was Adam’s robe. “It’s okay dad, whatever we’ll go through, we’ll go through it together.”

Third POV:

Y/n wakes up from her long nap, both her forearms lying underneath her pillow while she slowly opens her eyes. The sunset shines through her blinds, touching her skin. She sits up, putting her tangled hair behind her ears, then staring at her window, remembering the time that her family, or at least what was left of it, was together.

She remembers how she always told her dad that it’s okay to grief, especially when you know that you’re not alone. But y/n was alone, or at least she felt like it. Sure it was always an okay to do, to mourn the loss of someone you loved, but what good is it doing so by yourself?

[asgardian--angels]

just rewatched steven universe future (and the movie) and I just gotta say.

I still have no idea why fandom was so upset about the show, why opinion turned against it, or anything. I didn't understand it then, I don't understand it now. I've enjoyed every single minute of that show, start to finish, all iterations. A show hasn't left me sobbing like that in a hell of a long time. It handles heavy, dark emotional topics with incredible finesse and heart in a way that all of us could learn from. It remains one of the most aesthetically beautiful animated series I've ever seen, and the soundtrack is so incredibly moving. I'll never get why shows with the most hopeful themes, like this one, end up with the nastiest 'fans' that harass creators and artists for making something that encourages us to be kind to each other. like, insert good omens meme i guess, yknow? but I will always love this series (the OG, the film, and Future). I'm glad I was never really involved with the fandom back when it was airing so I didn't have to hear any of the shit that people were tossing around. But knowing that this series basically got thrown to the wind after it was done airing - like, no one even talks about it anymore, as if there were some Game of Thrones effect WHEN THERE WASN'T - breaks my heart. It was so incredibly influential, for animation, for queer representation, for creativity in art, and for helping a lot of people feel seen and teaching us a better way to be towards our fellow human beings. I don't know who the fuck can be angry about this show, but whoever they are, I feel sorry for them that they have nothing better in their lives than to be senselessly cruel to people who are trying to make the world a kinder place.

anyone out there who hasn't watched Steven Universe before, and maybe was intimidated or put off by how it's talked about on here, please don't listen to that. It's one of the best made series, animated or not, in the modern age. It touches people of all ages. It inspires hope, and forgiveness, and working towards a better world. It has incredible character development, intergenerational trauma, dismantling colonialism, the horrors and fallout of war, xenobiology, troubled families, damaged people trying to grow and find new meaning, building community, nature vs nurture, perfectly done slow-burn plot arcs and reveals, and an art style that's so gorgeous you'll mourn the current state of the industry that stifles creativity like this. And it does all of this so profoundly and intelligently that it defies summary. Give it a try.

That's all I'll say. I never post about the show anymore bc I'm not a part of the fandom and I don't know how active it is on here anymore. But I've always cared deeply for Steven Universe and I always will. I hope outside of the insular bubble of toxic online fandom that it continues to have a steady mainstream following. Rebecca Sugar deserves accolades and a big thank you for bringing this show into the world. I'm sure she did not get a fraction of the praise she should have, and instead had to endure endless vitriol. The bar's always too high for some people who want something to be mad at, who want to blame and hate instead of supporting the few brave artists out there trying to make queer shows and pave the way for the future. The enemy of queer rep is so often queer fandom spaces themselves. Let's not let this life-changing show fade into obscurity if we can. It was groundbreaking in so many ways. It brought joy and hope to so many. I hope new people will continue to watch it and be uplifted by it, as I have all these years.

[squelchbug]

wtf verified my email finally after 2 yeaurs turns out i been missing out on a lot of Interaction . any ways . CND posting at 5 am here’s my guy his name is Cacophony

no way in hell i can concisely summarize all his shit rn … unless

the basics : he’s a Yuanti Tiefling Monk, 7ft tall& 32yrs old rn. he was raised in Partirisvarati and as a child amidst a war he got tossed into a prison where he then had his hands cut off &eyes gouged out by brutes as punishment for getting caught attempting to steal a handful of seeds for his family’s farm . but don’t worry. he got better

hes blind , uses Tremorsense . knows Common & Bolidian (Partirisvarati native language. +because it’s funny, as this dialect is translated into Common, it gives him a cockney british accent). got acid blood & is venomous, but he’s too polite to use it for evil, until he isn’t . he is a goofy goober(walking murderweapon) but alas, is a creature of joy and whimsy at heart . he suffers w PunchDrunk syndrome& frequent tremors/seizures . wizardry antics grew his hands back and gave him an extra arm, thanks Dee . (hi Simon)

he spent ages 10-20in prison, 20-23on parole+ after escaping parole he met Krishika, Krissie for short, a Githyanki halfOwlin Warlock. bsf4lyfe. actualy, wrong, these two are insane . imagine if you would a psychological torment comparable to that of a paranoid mother hellbent on building a dynamic so codependent slash parasitic BOTH sides end up Killing & Dying for eachother(multiple times) each against yet fully within their own wills (i love contradictory!). Krissie… has issues and problems. her soul had been permanently shattered into three components, and due to some species complications , left her In-Between multiple states of being at once . Blah blah blah… autism to save for another day..All she wants is some god damn control in her life . enter sir scapegoat Cacophony, who’s only aspiration since gaining real freedom for the First Time In His Life , is to provide an unconditional support to any new friend he makes !! 😁😬.. Cacophony lets & encourages Krissie to use him as a vessel for possession, as at the beginning it’d benefited both of them, but overtime, Krissies state had worsened and too late she’d realized she had been taking advantage of Cacophony. Krissie is fueled fully on adrenaline and fear, and the moment she knew she done fucked up was a pivotal point for them both- a point of absolutely No return, Krissie decided Cacophony would be much safer in her grasp and at her command. She strikes a deal with a man named Soren Trouvaille to soulbind herself to Cacophony, turning them both functionally immortal , unless one kills the other half . glances around

….as a result of multiple decades worth of various forms of mental abuse Cacophonys biggest flaw remains to be how forgiving he is 🫶 or yk, better put, how willingly he will allow second chances to those he considers worth it. he’s done an awful lot of healing these last four years. i blame his lovely husband (Soren, Tabaxi/Orc Artificer/Cleric) and their weird daughter (Siobhan, Jackal Artificer)

more of them soon, i love them very much . love heart xoxo . their family is so perfect icant wait to talk abt them . yes i mentioned a Soren Trouvaille earlier and yes this is him ooo drama

what more to share on Cacophony… i don’t know how to go in depth with personality and morals even tho i desperately want to lmfao . Cacophony is such a hypocrite, and he genuinely doesn’t mean to be . he will formulate an opinion on you based off of the Whys and How’s of the situation rather than the What. absolutely describe him as understanding as he tends to dig to the root of the cause for Anything and fully hear you out,but as a professional hypocrite he Will abandon this method of he doesn’t like you 💀. he’s an extreme optimist, or as i like to call it, Delusional ! people like to accuse him for putting up a front, but i swear he’s just insane . he would be dead in the fucking gutters if he wasn’t , truly . aint he a sweetheart , though . ok i’d love to add more . but i am dying. gootbye

[wellthebardsdead]

((Devil Prince Falûne, good end))

———

Falûne: *grabbed the crown of Karsus before it could fall with the elder brain, his tadpole dissolving with its death allowing him to unleash his full power at last as his two wings split into 6, and his two horns form a crown of Cania spires along his skull twisting into a crescent moon across his brow* EVERYONE JUMP!

Astarion: *grabs his hand tight refusing to leave him behind* together!

Falûne: *nods and jumps with him as everyone else dives after them, his wings unfurling and taking flight as he activates the crown and casts fly, catching all of them within his range and swiftly grabbing hold of anyone who fell too quickly* WE DID IT!

Minthara: *clinging onto Karlach for dear life* thank hells for that.

Shadowheart: *clinging onto the other side of Karlach* don’t look down- don’t look down-

Karlach: WOOOOOOOHOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!! FUCK YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Gale: *holding onto Lûnes hand* Wyll?! WYLL?!

Wyll: *holding onto Lûnes tail* down here!

Astarion: *hugging onto him tight watching as the elderbrain falls into the sea* you’ve got me… *smiles at him fondly*

Falûne: *eyes glowing like the moon as he looks at him, returning his fond smile* only if you want me.

Astarion: *smiles pulling him into a kiss*

Falûne: *accidentally drops Gale in surprise* mm-

Gale: *wasn’t in radius to get hit with the fly spell, now plummeting to the water* HELP!!!

Falûne: SHIT! *dives after him taking Astarion and Wyll with him*

*a few hours later as everyone celebrates in the elf song*

Falûne: *Back in his usual tiefling appearance, sitting on his bed in the tavern and holding the crown of karsus. Smiling happily as he listens to his friends cheer with joy and triumph from downstairs, while also being filled with conflict… Knowing the crown is what’s allowing him and his uncle to keep the hells under their thumbs… but knowing Gale needs it for Mystras forgiveness too* …I’m sorry uncle… *sighs and gets up carrying the crown carefully to the door, only for Gale to stagger in* Oh! Gale! Perfect timing. Here. *holds it out to him*

Gale: *admittedly a little drunk but still sober enough to be aware* I?… the crown? What for? We went through all this effort so you could get it back, that’s the whole reason you stayed with us. Well, aside from being our friend and all, it’s yours.

Falûne: *tail nearly tying itself into a knot at being called their friend* I’m… im your friend?

Gale: what? Yes you’re my friend! Your our friend! All of us consider you our friend- well, Astarion certainly considers you more than just a friend but oh you know what I mean. Even that old sour face minthara is keen on you. Look if this is about my getting forgiveness from Mystra, don’t worry about it. I don’t want her forgiveness anymore.

Falûne: but, the orb?…

Gale: I’ll find a way to get rid of it… but I don’t want her forgiveness. I want an apology from her… you showed me the truth. How she- groomed me, then cast me aside and demanded I take my own life to satisfy her… you showed me I’m worth more than what she thinks of me. You value me for who I am, Gale Dekarios, not Gale of Waterdeep.

Falûne: … *makes the crown disappear back to the house of hope* you’re my friend, Gale. And I help my friends… I just need you to tell me what you want.

Gale: Well… I don’t think you can get me an apology from Mystra. But… can you get rid of the orb?…

Falûne: *sighs* Finally! I’ve been waiting for you to ask since you revealed it to me you dingbat! *snaps his fingers making the orb simply disappear from his chest* All gone.

Gale: *feeling it and the pain it had caused him simply vanish* I? Ha! It’s. It’s gone! Just like that… I’m… im sorry I didn’t ask sooner. I’m sorry for not trusting you sooner… I’m… im forever grateful to be your friend.

Falûne: *tail swishing happily* me too. I suppose we should go join the others before Karlach and Minsc drink the tavern dry.

Gale: ohhh yes. I just came up to get changed into something that doesn’t reek of sweat and brain goo. Where… did the orb go? If you don’t mind asking?

Falûne: hm? Oh don’t worry about that. The weave has been long over due for a new Mystra.

Gale: what?

*meanwhile*

Mystra: *watching from above* that wretched little bra- *turns around feeling the pull of the karsus weave behind her, right as the orb detonates* NO-

*also meanwhile*

Raphael: *placing a glass dome back over the crown as it appears back on the podium it was stolen from* Was it lamb Karlach enjoyed?

Korrilla: *writing a list of dishes planning on inviting Falûnes friends to dinner* Mutton chops I think? I’ll need to confirm that with lûlû. I do know Astarion loves the calamari from the elfsong though.

Raphael: hm. I never pinned him for a fan of seafood. Very well I’ll see if I can shake the recipe out of the cook.

[neverluckygoldfish]

47 -

Lately I’ve been feeling a sense of peace within myself. It’s really nice but I can’t help but wonder when it will go away and I’ll be back to the me as I’ve always known myself: melancholy, aloof, insecure, anxious…

But what if it stays?

Been trying this new thing where I trust my intuition (my greater She) in how I behave, the decisions I make, the things I say. I’m starting to trust in myself to choose the right thing over what’s easy or simply status quo.

I have faith that if one door closes, a window will open. Because it always does.

While I don’t have it all figured out yet, not even close, I’m trying to relish each present moment - the joy of figuring it out.

Happiness is a choice, it’s a mentality.

Not to downplay my own struggles or past regrets/mistakes - but I have a lot to be proud of. I’m not perfect by any means but that is okay too. Because I continue to try, be open minded, stay unassuming, learn and challenge myself. I don’t give up on myself.

Even if I think I am, I’m not. Because I’m still here and I’m still taking on the next day.

Does this mean I’m a good person? Or does this mean I am just human, with all the complexities.

A big thing I noticed is that black or white thinking. I’ve had a hard time forgiving myself for anything really….because it didn’t jive with me “being a good person” or “being worthy”. I couldn’t be one without the other.

But then I’d forgive others in a heartbeat. Second chances? More like 3, 4, to infinity. Because I believe in the power of people changing. I’ve been trying to view myself as how I’d view someone else. I’m much kinder to others than I am to me.

Like I have it all ass backwards haha.

Now I realize that I have to cheer myself on. No one else will do it for me. And if I don’t, I’ll never get anywhere because I’ll always be too scared.

So if anyone is reading this, do what you need to let it all go. The expectations of what “should be”or how you “should be”. Scream in the car, delete that person from your friend list, go on a road trip by yourself, write affirmations on sticky notes and post them everywhere, cry your heart out, listen to your favorite song on repeat, throw yourself into your favorite hobby or start a new one, write all your worries on a piece of paper and burn it, break some shit then break some more shit, journal all your feelings on a random tumblr blog (haha), do something that scares you, make conversation with a stranger….I don’t know - just do something! Anything.

If it doesn’t work, do it again. And again. And again. Until it does.

Don’t worry if you look stupid or silly or uncool doing it. Do it for you. Forgive yourself for it all. You were and still are doing the best you could.

And don’t laugh at me when I say that because I used to make fun of all the people on social media who would say “X and X” solved all my problems and now I’m just this happy little leprechaun finding rainbows and gold everywhere. It’s not that simple but it also is.

Way easier said than done am I right *rolls eyes*

Know that you don’t have to have all the answers and you sure as hell don’t need to be perfect.

You are the one who writes your story so you get to decide who the main character is. Who you are. Who do you want to be?

As I’ve been healing, slowly but surely, people have fallen off. It really sucks to lose people. But the right ones have stayed & our relationships are so much sweeter and truer.

As I’ve accepted what I can do and what I can’t do, it’s been so freeing to feel like I’m not disappointing the world.

One day it will work. And then life will feel like magic.

Because lately, the thought that crosses my mind is: this is what it was meant to feel like all along.

[acewithapaintbrush]

Okay, first, I need to say the latest chapter of "A Place for Crows" is amazing! Second, how do you think the ROTMNT family would get along with the Madrigals?

Ah thank you so much ❤️🦋

I think they would all be a little bit weirded out by each other, the Madrigals more so of course since the turtles are already used to more mystic stuff than just themselves. But they'd get over it quickly.

Mikey and Donatello would be obsessed with Casita. Mikey of course cause it's fun to play around, slide down the stairs together with Camilo and Mirabel and Antonio and stuff. Donatello cause he wants to know how it all works or rather how he can replicate it with his tech. His smart lair kinda backfired but he never stopped dreaming of trying again and succeeding. Maybe Casita's 'functions' can give him some inspiration.

Also, Donnie would be so dismissive of Mirabel's sheepish explanation of "I don't have a gift"

"Scoff!" he would say. "Who needs gifts if you have a big brain and science! I know tech is not quite a thing here yet but let me show you the beautiful world of physics and Newtons three laws of motion"

The Madrigals are all like "awwwww" while the turtles just go "Oh shit".

The Madrigals find it cute until Mirabel gets a gleam in her eyes and almost breaks Camilo's nose with a trap she invented for when he enters her room without asking.

("Needs some adjusting" Donnie mutters while his big brother chews him out)

(Camilo forgives her very quickly when her next invention, a hot air balloon, fulfills his dream of flying)

For Leo I'm gonna indulge all my headcanons: he is the teams medic and so he would be all over Julieta and her cooking. He can't make magic food but some pointers for delicious chicken soup are very appreciated. But he is still a teenager and hanging around an adult all the time is so not his vibe (no matter how motherly she is and how warm and fuzzy her attention makes him feel inside) so I also imagine him spending lots of time with all the kids but especially Dolores. The gossip that girl can tell him! Hell yeah! And he can Portal the two of them right to the gossip so they can see it first hand, hehe.

Raph is a no brainer. He takes one look at Luisa and sees a kindred spirit. They both drink tea and lament over little siblings and their antics and even more over their own strength and how hard it is to be careful all the time. I think both of them will greatly benefit from each other and from giving each other tips. They will become attached at the hip.

April hears how Isabela changed her appearance and is still looking for her true self and goes full fashion and life style coach on her. April knows a thing or two about trying to be normal and fit in only to realize that the only thing you need to be is yourself. Isa is just fascinated with this confident girl who takes no shit and embraces her own self. She wants that too.

I don't have a real reason for this except that I really want to see Casey and Bruno just sitting a bit outside of the chaos and relaxing with some nice arts and crafts. They are both happy that they are back with family but it can all get a little bit overwhelming at times so it's nice to have someone who understands and has no problem just sitting side by side in silence and enjoy their families laughter and joy until the batteries are refilled and they are ready to rejoin the madness.

Alma doesn't know what to make of this little rat man (who btw fascinates and freaks Bruno out a little) but when they get to finally talking (being the family heads that they are) they realize that they have a lot in common. Splinter knows how it is to be overwhelmed by a legacy that was thrust onto you and that you didn't really want. How you'd rather have your beloved mother/husband back and how you feel that you can't let them down but go about it in all the wrong ways, almost alienating your family in the process instead of holding them close. The crushing weight of it all and how it makes you lose sight of what is important.

Splinter knows a thing or two about that and realizing that gives Alma some peace. They often sit side by side and watch their families, thankful for the second chance they were given.

[currentlyfckingurmom]

Her Song part 30

FIVE YEARS AGO - ATLANTA, GEORGIA

"Y/N, meet your daughter. Congratulations on a healthy baby girl," the nurse said, handing me the screaming 'bundle of joy' who seemed more like a bundle of chaos than anything. Her face was bright red and a small tuft of thin hair stood up straight on the top of her tiny head.

"Hey, baby," I laughed. "I'm your momma. I can't believe I'm finally meeting you. This won't be easy, but we're gonna get through it just fine, okay? I promise."

I gently kissed her forehead, hot tears falling down my face, heavy with emotion.

After cleaning her up, the nurses left me alone with my newborn daughter. She had finally stopped crying, looking up at me with wide, innocent eyes. She held gently onto my finger as I rocked her to sleep in my arms for the first time.

A nurse came in and we filled out the birth certificate. Sydney Fleur Y/L/N.

When I was told I had a visitor, I had no idea who it would be. I had hoped it would be my parents or a family member coming to forgive me. I was wrong.

My breath caught in my throat when he walked in the room. He smiled a sweet smile that had the nurse convinced he was a good man. He wasn't, and he never will be. "Could you give us a minute?" he asked kindly. The nurse nodded with a smile and left the room. I couldn't find my voice to ask her to stay.

"Long time no see, Y/N," he said, sitting in a chair next to the hospital bed. I clutched my baby closer to my chest. "What? Not even gonna say hi?"

"What the hell are you doing here?" I finally croaked out.

"Well, I came here to see my niece, obviously," he said smugly, knowing damn well what he did.

"She's not your niece," I snapped bitterly.

"Oh really? Because last time I checked, my brother is the one who got you knocked up."

"Get out," I cried.

"No. No, I don't think I will. You know, I haven't stopped thinking about you. The way you looked when he held you down. The way you screamed. The way you begged me for help. So stupid. So naïve. I have to see it again. I have to have you for myself. It was stupid to make Mark do it. I should've taken the prize for myself."

"Leave, now."

"Sweetheart, it's cute that you think you have any control over me. Your parents don't believe you. The cops don't believe you. The whole damn town knows what a slut you are. It's a good thing you're pretty, 'cause there's nothing in that head of yours."

"Look, Ben, you have five seconds to get out or I'm calling security to drag you out."

"Oh yeah? Is that what you're gonna do? Newsflash, Y/N: I'm five years older than you, way stronger, and closer to the phone. So threaten me all you want, but you can't do shit, and we both know it," Ben sneered.

I cried, my shoulders slumping more. "Why'd you make Mark do it? Why make your own brother..."

He seemed to think it over before laughing shortly, sharply. "Because I wanted to. And because I could."

"You had your fun. Just leave me and my kid alone. What the hell do you even want from me?"

He smirked. It looked kind at first glance, but his eyes were menacing, and I knew better by then. "I want you. I want to feel you the way Mark did. I want you to be mine, the way you should've been from the start."

"You're delusional," I laughed humorlessly. I swung my hand backward and pressed the code blue button on the wall.

"You bitch," he spat as people began rushing toward the room. "I will find you again, Y/N. You can't run forever."

And those were his last words to me.

Until five years later.

PRESENT DAY - NEW YORK CITY

I've never told anybody exactly what happened that night at that stupid party. Or that day at the hospital when Syd was born. Not even Ash. I always figured it would be something I'd take to the grave. There's no point in going to the cops; they won't do anything until he kills me. But now...now I think maybe I should have told someone. Changed my name. Done anything to hide better.

He found me.

He found me, and there's not a damn thing I can do.

It's been so long. So long that I thought we were safe. I guess not. Maybe he's just dumber than I thought so it took him five years to find me. Or maybe he was just waiting until I was truly happy, just so he could take it all away from me.

I check that all the windows are shut and the door is locked, then pull all the curtains closed tight. I quietly spin a chair in the living room to face the apartment door. I'd feel more comfortable if I had my gun, but I got rid of it after I quit my job at the club. I had a kid to think about and wasn't in imminent danger because of my job anymore, so I got rid of it. I regret that now.

He can get to me. He can hurt me, he can kill me, he can do whatever he wants to me. But he's not getting to my kid. He will never have the chance to hurt my family. Syd, Florence, and Ash will be safe. Even if I have to die protecting them.

~

When I met you I picked you out, I shook you up and turned you around Turned you into someone new Now five years later on you've got the world at your feet Success has been so easy for you But don't forget, it's me who put you where you are now and I can put you back down too Don't, don't you want me? You know I can't believe it When I hear that you won't see me Don't, don't you want me? You know I can't believe it When you say that you don't need me It's much too late to find You think you've changed your mind You'd better change it back Or we will both be sorry

[seikatsu-ga-tsuzuku]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

This is gonna be very hard to decide but I'll try my best. Gonna stick this under a Read More 'cause this shit boutta be long as hell:

1) Neku Sakuraba from The World Ends With You

He's the main character of the story that changed my life. He was very relatable to me at the time I first consumed TWEWY over a decade ago, and even now I still have a lot in common with him. Neku is very important to me because taught me a lot and impacted me in a way that I feel like I'd be a completely different person had I never encountered TWEWY during those formative years.

2) Kakashi Hatake from Naruto

I don't have some profound reason for Kakashi like I did Neku. But I think he was the very first character I ever became obsessed with or cared about deeper than just liking them because I liked the media they were in. And realistically, what's not to like about him.

(From here onward the accuracy of the list may dwindle because of the sheer amount of media I've consumed. I'll probably forget someone or important or simply be unable to decide, so take who I choose with a pinch of salt, especially in order. I have many faves and I am only certain about Neku and Kakashi's places on this list).

3) Sophie Hatter from Howl's Moving Castle

Because HMC is my favorite Ghibli movie I may be biased, but I always looked up to Sophie due to her strength and capacity to love free of judgments and despite any ugliness, inside or out. She's pretty, kind, brave, and tough, all the things I wanted to grow up to be as a kid when I first saw HMC.

4) Shizuku from Whisper of the Heart

Shizuku is one of my favorites for a more specific and personal reason; because we're both writers. I see in her a lot of myself when I was younger and even now. Having the desire to write something you can be proud of and satisfied with, to the point of being hard on yourself and emotional when you fall short of your own expectations. She's a complicated ball of emotions, but she's got tenacity and a love for whimsy that she puts into her writing. I just find her relatable and lovable.

5) Haruki Nakayama from Given

I just feel a spiritual connection to Haruki. We're kindred spirits, in the way we act, think, view ourselves. How we experience love and the relationship we have to our craft. He really is just like me fr.

6) The Chocobros from FFXV

Nooow I know this is cheating by including all of them, pero like... Do not separate! No but realistically, I can't choose one of them over the other because I love them all for different reasons, but I'd also be remiss to not add any of them to this list. They all had such an impact on my life, brought me joy during a particularly dark time, and their friendship and bond is something I envy and seek to have for myself someday.

7) Kotetsu T. Kaburagi from Tiger & Bunny

Would y'all crucify me if I said he's my favorite superhero across all media? I mean it honestly. Kotetsu is the embodiment of what a hero should be, his attitude, morals, and passion for helping others. He's like the perfect protag to me. He gets bonus points for being a goofy dorky single dad who's tryng his best, and is also hot.

8) Shigeo Kageyama from Mob Psycho 100

Do I even need to explain this one. Mob taught me so much about being kind and forgiving to not only others but yourself. Not many pieces of media have touched me in a way that MP100 has, and Mob fits into a lot of my favorite protag tropes. He's just a simple, sweet darling boy and he's so cherished and important to me.

9) Yona from Akatsuki no Yona

One of the female protagonists of all time. I love her for many of the same reasons I love Sophie, but she's just 10x more cool. As Spike Spiegel once said, I love a woman who can kick my ass.

10) My OC Seth Manolis

Now I realize this may be cheating but I couldn't decide on the last character, and I'd argue he technically counts according to your criteria, because he's the protag of two novels I wrote myself. I created Seth when I was 14, writing little "journal entries" about his life on Deviantart back in the day to cope with me starting high school, but over the years his story has evolved into something serious and now I'm writing a whole trilogy about him (on the third book now). He's very important to me because writing his story has got me through a lot in my life, and I put so many pieces of myself into him, although not exactly a self-insert. I can go on all day about Seth, but just know he's my special little blorbo who I don't know what I would've done without. (Art is commissioned from @/bumblevip on IG.)

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 15: Give Me Your Princess Season 1, Episode 16: Bridge Over The River Chozzerai

I'm attempting to do two episodes per post now! This will help me finish the show quicker and hopefully will make it more fun to watch

Episode 15 - Give Me Your Princess We start with Lotor quite literally asserting his dominance over his military as Commander, and immediately they're off to destroy Arus Also, this is where the obsession starts I guess, suddenly he's real interested in the princess

holy shit i cant believe he actually takes care of his hair

Oh we're already at this episode? Allura sneaks into black lion to learn to fly it in case of emergency, good plan but i always was annoyed that she thinks it HAS to be her when she's literally the most important person on the team, yknow being a princess and all

Ah yes a staple of the 80s "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't do things boys can!" Obviously it was important for girls during that decade and it still is now but MAN is the way of showing girl power outdated as I'm watching this now more than 30 yrs later

Lion troubles, apparently Black lion is malfunctioning, but they try and fail to form Voltron as Lotor is actually competent LMAO Allura faints and black drops out of the sky

Lotor has a personal fighter, and it looks like a bat, how cool, Keith is currently trying to rip it apart since everyone thinks it's allura in blue and not him which makes lotor scram

Harem time, I guess that's why they pulled the sudden obsession this episode, all the harem girls are blonde and could easily be mistaken for Allura and the allura imagery all throughout this episode that I haven't been mentioning

hell yeah they're telling off allura for her sudden test drive of black and now her reason changes from "in case of emergency" to "if you go back to earth"

oh my god this just turned into a telenovela Especially with Keith guilt-tripping her by saying Sven wouldn't have almost cost them their lives, low blow keith

She tries to apologize to Keith but the words of the other 3 boys get to her and she walks off I'm actually kind of glad she takes their opinions seriously and isn't being relegated to "the leader's girl" also keith regrets being so harsh on her, even though he was right to reprimand her in general

Did nobody learn anything from the last time lotor was on arus and said he'd be willing to leave in peace? Allura he won't give up just because you give yourself to him, especially if he smacked keith in the face with a ROCK after he won their sword fight

Allura literally busts through the tower lotor left on arus and gives herself up, and then faints (again) because Lotor electrocuted the lion, I don't blame her for that one The boys go rescue her and i think i missed something because keith is hurt? He did go after the princess outside his lion so maybe he got shot and i missed it, anyway he's ass at flying and allura is protecting him in turn now

No robeast this episode, but voltron is still formed and takes down the rest of the spires that lotor left behind, plus a giant laser weapon Allura and Lance carry Keith in, apparently he was cut by lotors laser sword, go figure Nanny doesn't care, as per usual, but goes to get stuff for Keith once Allura tells her to

Everyone forgives each other, Allura apologizes for stealing black without permission and the boys apologize for being so rude when she just wanted to do some good, Allura cries (for like the third time) in joy after being told she's wanted to be kept on the team, so she shouldn't doubt it

/episode end

Episode 16: Bridge Over The River Chozzerai Apparently the kingdom Allura rules over is called Altair and another nearby kingdom is called Helena. They have a running legend together about two lovers who were each a part of one of the kingdoms, but it was a romeo and juliette esq romance because the kingdoms were enemies, so they built a bridge between the vliff that separated them to finally be together the princess is playing one of the lovers, while she wants one of the boys to play the other

"getting icky sticky in the middle" Lance McClain sHUT-

The boys minus Keith are fighting over the part, Keith ain't no simp and especially not one for Allura LMAO Keith "No, Thanks" Kogane is a mood, I wouldn't want to go out to a bridge ceremony either

Hunk wins because Pidge tries to get the mice to help him cheat at a card draw, and they purposefully mess him up Now they have more beef lol

What a cute dress, I wonder if this is a historical reenactment or actual fashion on Arus

Haggar's cat exists once again and sends word that Allura and Hunk are away from castle. Lotor starts heading to Arus, specifically for Allura ofc, and interrupts the two right before they embrace on the bridge Now there's a robeast and it splits the bridge in two while Lotor shoots the cliff where the bridge hangs, causing it to fall. Somehow Allura is on the unsunken parts of the bridge and Lotor takes the change to try and snatch her before Hunk comes from behind and starts fucking SWINGING Very iconic of him, I'd feel safer if Hunk was protecting me in danger

The other boys are on their way, but Hunk slips off the bridge and is hanging on for his life as lotor gets pushed away by Allura who then gets smacked into the water Lotor comes back around for her in his jet until yellow line smacks him from behind, how the FUCK did Hunk get there so fast, and nanny since shes SOMEHOW IN THERE TOO

Lotor strikes back, and they crash into the cliff while the boys are stuck fighting a robeast at the castle, so they can't go help him Allura swims to safety anyway and runs to blue only to find lotor already there, honestly very smart of him since she's guaranteed to return to blue

HELLO?? Lotor tried grabbing her even though she had a gun, girl should've pulled the trigger, but only tears her dress so instead she runs towards blue AND POINTS THE BLASTER AT HER HEAD Damn, I really need to watch beastking golion if we get stuff like this in the censored American version

Anyway he tried to get the gun away but literally trips giving her time to shoot at his feet, so he back-ups enough for her to get into blue, smart girl Hunk and nanny are still at the cliff since yellow isn't responding well, so she basically piggybacks yellow onto blue to get back to the castle as lotor is shooting at them, that's a very weird position but ok

Keith can apparently take control over yellow when they're in voltron? I'm taking that as, since he's the center, having the ability to work with all 5 lions to coordinate movement, but not actually control the limb as that's up to the pilot in it

Voltron is formed, maybe it has a strong magnetic pull that brought yellow lion in even though it couldn't fly, also voltron has a whole other sword, that's interesting to know Blazing sword takes out the elephant tank hybrid robeast and now Yellow is getting repaired, it looks like it's being done inside it's den so that's good to know for world building

Hunk questions why Allura didn't kiss Lotor on the bridge since the legend was about uniting two lands but Allura is grossed out and says it's about people in love and that not even his father could love lotor get his ass princess

she was right lol, zarkon's PISSED and tells him to stop thinking with the head in his pants and start thinking with the head on his shoulders to defeat voltron

/episode end

[taegularities]

my lovely rid 🙏🏼 i think it's time ‼️ i was sitting, and thinking that i wanna read c&f so bad like the others EVEN THOUGH I WON'T BE ABLE TO GET ENOUGH SLEEP. SO I WILL.

let's start, shall we? 😘

•••••••••••••••••••

"Jeon Jungkook's sincerity doesn't run as deep as his undeniable beauty." IT'S LITERALLY THE FIRST SENTENCE. AND I'M ALREADY IN LOVE LIKE ⁉️

THERE'S NO WAY WE'RE STARTING OFF WITH HIM WITH ANOTHER GIRL. THERE'S NO WAY HE'S WITH HER SISTER. CRYING. oh wait she doesn't love him. YES.

"It means that I'm not suitable for marriage yet. Honestly, you should be the one he courts." OHHH I LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING GAHAHAHAHA

"But we're not objects to be sold." I ALREADY LOVE Y/N AND I LOVE WHO WRITES HER CHARACTER. 🤍🤍🤍

But you’ll never deny how unnaturally handsome Jeon Jungkook is. WE. WE WILL NEVER EVER DENY.

Might be the slightly tilted smile, the big, jet black eyes. Or the golden skin, the button nose. Constantly pouty lips, deep dimples that he doesn’t need to smile for. GOD I REMEMBERED HIS LATEST LIVE AND I CRASHED MY HEAD INTO A WALL

“She’s my sister. I can’t spill secrets to a stranger.” DAYYUUUUMMMM

“Are we really strangers?” WAIT A DAMN MINUTE ???? WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN ⁉️⁉️⁉️

“Jeon Jungkook,” you emphasise, stepping closer to the threshold, “if you truly don’t remember, then it’s not worth mentioning.” WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED BRO 😟😟😟

“There was a time, long before he courted your sister, when he was almost your suitor.” THERE WAS A WHAT ????????? WHAT THE FUCK ???????

“They won’t. All you have is a garden nearby, and the worst beast we might encounter is the sin… lust.” HAHAHAHA PLEASEEEE. is that foreshadowing though 👀👀👀

But Jungkook’s strings break, and he rubs his face violently, grabbing your wrist before you can walk away. He tugs at your arm and pulls your body back, eliciting a gasp out of you as he realises what he did. call me crazy, but that's HOT. this whole paragraph is hot. goodbye world

“That I was an outcast. You would compare my dresses to fruits, laugh at them, or point out a minor flaw about me, or make fun of how I never smiled because of how tight my corset sat.”

And right now, your chest is burning, sadness in your eyes as you narrate further, “And I loved those dresses. The young and naive me would… prepare them days before and jump in joy. Just to hide in the back once she saw you.”

WHY ARE MY EYES STINGING ?????? SHE LOVED HER DRESSES😭😭 OH MYYY- NOOOO. NO.

“We were adults then, and I was ready to forgive you,” you tell him, gulping, “until you told a handful of men who liked me, that I’m the most untrustworthy snake in town. And how my sister,” you laugh; your gaze shifts to the ground, “is much more beautiful and actually worth the trouble.”

well... i was excited to know what he did BUT NOW I HATE HIM💔💔💔 I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT ??? HOW COULD HE DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT ???

“I need to redeem myself,” he then tells you, “I know I wasn’t the best person, but I want to be better.”

I SWEAR TO GOD JEON IF YOU DON'T BECOME BETTER IMMA LOSE IT.

To you, you’re water, and he’s fire — but perhaps there’s a grey area where you meet. Where you collide and become steam, evaporating, hot yet calm.

yup. you did it again with your shakespeare shit. WHAT A MAGNIFICENTLY WRITTEN PIECE OF LITERATURE.

That night changed him. Or at least, you think it was one of the reasons that altered his personality.

some things just never change. he's been like this since he was 11 and he was a child. so it's obvious why he'd grown up to be such a man

And Jungkook — he just listened. That is, until he finally conjured up an excuse; you still haven’t figured out what strange reason urged him to come up with, “I apologise. The girl led me to these alleys, and I couldn’t find my way back.” GOD. WHYYYY. SINCE DAY ONE. he could've said another lie bro :((

Lying isn’t the worst sin of them all; but sometimes, it does wound an eleven year old more than it should. STOOOOOPPPPP. RID THIS KEEPS HURTING THE FUCK OUTTA MEEEE!!!!

Sometimes, a behaviour can’t be excused.

YUUUUPPPPPP.

He lifts a hand, and by the looks of it, you guess she has accepted his proposal to dance, too. NO FUCKING WWAAAAAAYYYY. THE AUDACITY THIS MAN HAS ‼️‼️‼️ BRO I'M SO MAD RIGHT NOW I CAN PUNCH ANYONE IN THE FACE FUCKKSOXBSIX

But as your smile widens and your heart soars, Jungkook calls your name as though it’s a melody. OH THANK GOD. i take back everything i said😘😇

You throw your locks out of your face, drawing a long breath when his hand lifts to the small of your back.

AHHHHWICBSU SCREAMINGGGGG

“thoughts of what you might be wearing tonight.” His body leaves yours once more before his hands pull you back in. WHAT THE FUCK JEON 😩😩😭 I'M DEAD. JSBDIABXJDID THIS MAAAAAN IS DANGEROUS ‼️‼️‼️

His hair tickles your cheek, and the heat of his breath skims your neck, “You meant something way worse to me than an enemy. Sometimes I hated you enough to feel closer to you than to anyone else.” ummmm what is going on? 😟😟

Wait… what is he talking about? And why is his voice so quiet, carrying this odd trace of ache? FOR REAL THOUGH. I'M SCARED.

He shakes his head so slightly you barely notice. “Abhorring you brought me back to reality sometimes. Because where my mind resides… isn’t quite,” he looks around, up to the ceiling, side to side to every guest, “in this realm.” ABHORRING??? WHY DO YOU HATE HER THAT BAD DUDE ??? and why is he so suspicious like ???

i'm not putting their conversations with each other at the orphanage but they're just so ughhhhh. i just love them so much they both deserve happiness 🙏🏼❤️

And no one but you hears him say, “Just. If it’s not love, then you might want to use your fantasy. Then you’ll know.” OH SHIT. RID ?????

Near the end of the evening, a hand touches your braid. Brushes down to its tail, rubbing the tresses between his fingers.

You stay as still as a sculpture, perplexed by the sudden motion; but then break into a laugh when he brings the tail to your ear, tickling you shamelessly.

GET MARRIED ALREADY 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 THEY'RE SO CUTE TOGETHER 💔💔💔

“Right,” you confirm in a gentle giggle; you don’t quite notice when the sound of it makes his lips raise ever-so-slightly. “How about riding? Do you enjoy it?”

“Riding, I do. Does not involve horses, though,” Jungkook admits.

i swear to god if they don't have the best sex....... JUST SAYIN' 🫣

“I mean… I do like long distance carriage rides.”

“I didn’t know.”

“Until now… I didn’t either.”

CURLING MY TOES AND SHIIIIII😇😇

“Did you mean that? The… riding thing.”

STOOOPP I'M ACTUALLY SCARED TO CONTINUE HAHA.... RID I LOVE YOU 🙏🏼🙏🏼

“You won’t let me hold your hand, but this is alright?”

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

Because he’s the first to reach out to you.

GOODNIGHT.

Your eyes dart up to his; his expression is one of a kind. Lips slightly parted, tongue sliding between his teeth, eyes digging into you with a harmless candle flame flickering behind them. just leaving that here. and going to read it whole 🙏🏼❤️😘

.

.

But when the wish threatens to burst out, the coachman, hopefully oblivious, yells back, “We’re arriving shortly!” IT WAS SHORT BUT TOO HOT I ALMOST THREW MY PHONE 💔💔💔💔 wondering how the sex would be like😟😩 WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME RID ⁉️⁉️⁉️

Angry for you; defending you. I'M SO PROUD I GOT TO WITNESS THIS🤧 !!!!!

“It’d be okay to hold my hand now.” do you know what i am? dead😘

“I think, for me, tonight will be the most memorable.” same jungkook, same. but why am i kinda scared tho🫡

.

.

You remember his name to be Byun. PLEASE I WANT TO SEE JUNGKOOK GETTING JEALOUSSSSS. PLEASE WORLD

“That’s good,” he praises, nodding, “Oh, I… I am not trying to court you, I need you to know that. I just needed to at least ask if he’s treating you right.” AND WHO ARE YOU??? ONLY US AND Y/N ARE ALLOWED TO JUDGE HIM. YOU? SHUT UP

Looking closely, you see him clench his jaw, warning through obviously gritted teeth, “Don’t say such things.”

AHHHH SHIIIIT 😟😟😟😟😟

“No. You being you… me wanting, craving you all the damn time. Me finally realising it. That’s why I’m furious… It enrages me.”

YEEESSSS MY ONLY WISH HAS BECOME TRUEEE I CAN DIE HAPPYYYYYY 😩🤧 (+why is he so hot? like sir? have mercy on me❤️)

And then, your mouth falls on his with vigour. LET'S GOOOOO. now😏 i'm gonna read it whole for real this time❤️❤️😇

.

.

You flinch when a firm knock sounds against the door.....

UMMM. i really don't know what to say😭 like i've read so many of your smuts but this one is soooo different 🙏🏼 maybe because they finally did something after all these years. that's it, they really belong to each other! EVEN THEIR HANDS FIT PERFECTLY. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ugh anyways.. AND this whole part was so well-written, BUT. there's just this paragraph that made me throw the phone for real and throw up❤️

“You sounded so pretty, falling apart like that,” he whispers, kissing your jaw as his hand moves to your chin, “just how I fucking thought you would.” OHH MYYY GOOOOD💔💔💔 RID YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO DO THIS TO MEEE😟😟

“More wasn’t supposed to happen tonight anyway, huh?” i'm unwell. I'M DIZZY🙏🏼🙏🏼 WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY "huh?" SUDHAIXBWUXHSJSJSHX

Eventually and instinctively, you choose left, because you’ll definitely come out somewhere, right? SOMETHING'S GONNA HAPPEN AND I DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT THIS. JUNGKOOK'S GONNA FUCK UP I CAN SEE THAT😟😟😟😟

.

.

For some reason, the voice sounds familiar to you. You rack your brain, because where have you heard him before… OHHH IT'S HIS UNCLE!!! THAT FUCKER🤨🤨🤨

“I’ll do anything to get out of here, so do not worry. I have it all planned out,” you hear Jungkook say. PLANNED OUT ??? I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT WAS ALL PLANNED OUT. NO. NO. NO. but bro he literally smiled when he was about to leave and it was genuine 🤣 there must me something 🙏🏼🙏🏼

“Uncle, is there anything else you need from me?” I KNEW IT😬 I FUCKING HATE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART😍😍

“I know we failed with the older sister, but I do think you have the younger one wrapped around your finger. What was her name again?” SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU OLD CRUSTY DUSTY MAN🤨🤨 wasn't it enough what you've done before??? how can you be so cruel🤢🤢

“Did I do something wrong?” Jungkook suddenly asks. think baby ❤️ use your brain that god gave you 🙏🏼🙏🏼

Because he leans into you, and mumbles, “I am sorry if I hurt you anyhow.” BRO JUST STOPPPPP😭😭 i know he somewhere in his heart cares for her but he keeps confusing me and i'm tiredddd💔💔💔

“In that room,” he answers, and you sigh a breath of relief. No confrontation. No pain. Not yet. “I tried to be gentle.” OH. he meant that.

What your lips will do is let him pull you in and kiss you. Will move against his. Will drown in the deep tenderness of his touch, no matter how much it hurts. Will permit him to slide his tongue through, dancing with yours.

.

.

And you think another thing they do is… finally tremble.

CHILLLLLLSSSSSSS🤯🤯 the final bits killed me. ANYWAYS, this is one of the BEST not only jungkook fanfictions but all fanfictions🤧🤧 i laughed, cried, screamed, fangirled(?), screamed again😏😇, threw my phone, and smashed my head into a wall because of one man❤️❤️ and because of you rid😍😍 and god i'm so sorry i didn't read it earlier than today because i really wanted to💔 and i'm more sorry that you will have read like a 11k words feedback😭 i don't know how this happened, i just put some parts and commented on them😇 and i know that i voted on cmi but now i'm not sure if i want my vote to be counted👀 like NO. you did not leave us on a cliffhanger like that💔 my heart broke😭😭 i absolutely loveeeed this one with a my heart 💜💜 would definitely read it again when pt.2 comes out if the ending was not heartbreaking like this one😇 (would read it again if the ending was worse😘) but GOD it was a rollercoaster 🙏🏼🙏🏼 i'm not okay💜 thank you so so soooo much for this oneee!! i love you and i can't wait to see what's there to come~~ 💜

LOVELY SARAH !!!! this must be the longest ask i've ever received, and i barely know what to say cos omg the capslock review is so cute lmaooo 😭 oh my god, you better catch more sleep next time !!! my fics will be there to read whenever 😤

muahahah yes, we started with his sister !!! and yes, thankfully she Does Not love him 🤣 i'm so glad that you like oc btw! i resonate a lot with her, so it'd be awkward if you disliked her hehehe

ugh, whenever i describe jk in any way, i think of so many moments in run bts and bon voyage, he has my heart :((( also yes yes, i know they're both being cryptic but wait for it (AND IKR ISN'T HE HAWWWWWWT AND DANGEROUS? except for when she loved her dresses :(...) 😌

not the shakespeare shit lmaoooo 😭 i'm sorry for the pain it brought, though </3

so happy you liked them together hehehehehe there's definitely some hidden chemistry amirighhhhtttt. and the orphanage scene was one of my fav, tbh 🥺

about how sex between them would be...... hahaha no comment 🥴

Your eyes dart up to his; his expression is one of a kind. Lips slightly parted, tongue sliding between his teeth, eyes digging into you with a harmless candle flame flickering behind them. just leaving that here. and going to read it whole 🙏🏼❤️😘

EYYYYYY SHE CAUGHT SOMETHINGGG

oh yeah, him liking her... enrages him 😉

yeah, ngl, the smut felt very different to me, too. i think it was more bc the trope was just so different? had to think of everything – the carriage, the dresses, the dirty talk. what they could or could not say etcetcetcetcetc.... so glad you liked it tho hehehuaheu

the uncleeeeeee i knowwwww, outrageous !!! i love how everyone's more pissed at him than jk, bc we might be getting glimpses into what's happening ughhh. bc yes lol he did smile when he left :') poor jk is so confused and torn, but also doing something really shitty to oc rn, so yeah.... we shall see what that man does next :')

one of the best jk fics 🥺 ahh i'm so sorry if this response was all over the place, i'm still kind of sobering up jksdksad but this was so nice to (re)read and i truly appreciate you a lot. so stoked that you could feel all those things and enjoy the first chapter.. i'm really excited for the next one, so stay tuned hehhee thank you again bby 🥺 <333

[soul-wanderer]

06x17//All These Things That I’ve Done - weekly recap

- female firefighter gear for the win, including Maya smiling at Andy + Ross reaffirming that she’s not quitting aaand the little Vic and Andy dance break

- Classic Travic content ftw as well, because these two save a lot of episodes with their bantering

- unpopular opinion: Theo was right when he said “I let you dedicate time for your classes and the expansion of Crisis One” and Vic was wrong when she replied “oh, you let me?”. I mean, they’re in the middle of a shift? And Vic just decides to leave? I am fairly certain staffing is Theo’s job, and he didn’t need to give Vic any time off for her classes and much less for a random meeting with Diane? That being said, I understand that Vic is tense in regard to Theo, but Theo was absolutely right about that one

- Carina’s friends are back, and that’s always a good time! Just like it was nice to see Marsha again for a second

- Sullivan wanting to be captain again. The nerve. THE NERVE. Anything else I could say about that would get me thrown into jail.

- Gosh, do I love the friendly bantering and bickering between Andy and Theo, I hope we get to see more of that in the future

- Theo was right about not sending anyone into the car wash until all power was cut off, and what Andy did was quite frankly reckless and could have cost one of their lives - they’re darn lucky the worst that happened was Maya going for a spin and that beam falling onto the guy’s shoulder. The only thing worse about this, is Sullivan trying to pit them against each other and thank goodness Andy called him out on that

- Kitty Dixon is a national treasure, I said what I said! She is a prime example of a villain done right

- Ross threatening Dixon has to be the funniest and best thing, I stg

- Sullivan saying “We owe people the common decency of not lying to their faces” - totally fine, nothing to see there

- Ross just fixing dude’s knee was metal af, I said what I said

- I feel sorry for Theo getting dragged through the dirt alongside Andy and Sullivan, simply because they thought it would be a fun idea to disobey orders. And I feel sorry for Ross, because she realizes there’s no way she can make a good choice after seeing them argue like that

- I cannot fucking believe that after all of this, Andy would so easily forgive Sullivan, As if he didn’t screw her over hours earlier, I mean what the hell?!

- Speaking of Sullivan: He admitted to knowing that lying was a major trigger for Andy, and he STILL went ahead and lied TO HER FACE about his relationship with Ross. I really cannot deal with this shit any more, I am tired of his bullshit

- Eli. Oh, Eli. Gotta hand it to him that his cracked voice and tears did things to my heart that I’d rather not admit. I’m here for this pairing, that’s all. I’m just a useless queer, okay?!

- Beckett and Vic - I feel like there’s too much to say about this arc within a recap, so maybe this requires a longer, separate post. Let’s just say that Vic was being a tad reckless, which is very much on brand for her character, going to Beckett without backup or a backup plan, but they understandably went for the drama with this. Ironically, the scene that broke me the most (apart from Vic in the car afterwards) was the one with them playing Basketball, simply because this brief moment of joy felt so incredibly heavy, knowing it wouldn’t last long. They did a freaking brilliant job with that, truly. And no, Vic is not okay and yes, Vic does need help, and I am hoping we will get there, eventually, because oh boy, well girl, does she need some help

[saveahorse-ride-a-cowboy]

“Arthur!” Charles hurries into the man’s space, pausing when he sees Arthur shaving. “Oh- forgive me.”

“What is it?” Arthur turns to see him better. He notes the flush on Charles’ cheeks and feels a bit- well, proud of himself. “Everything okay?”

“John needs help,” Charles explains. “He’s stuck on the mountains- well they’re not even sure, really. They think he’s alive but he might not be much longer, in this weather.”

“Shit.” Arthur tosses his blade down and quickly wipes his face off. It’s not near as short as he’d prefer but he’ll fix it when he gets back. “Let’s go, then. Think we can handle it ourselves?”

“‘Course.” Charles hurries to his horse, the two of them mounting their respective horses together before riding up the mountains to try and find John.

After several hours of traipsing through thick snow and shielding their faces from blizzard-like winds, they finally find John, his face all marked up from-

“What in the hell?” Arthur shouts over the wind as he dismounts and approaches. “What happened t’you?”

“I don’t wanna talk ‘bout it,” John rasps, grunting in pain as Arthur effortlessly lifts him up and throws him over a shoulder.

“‘Course you don’t, Marston.” He chuckles lowly, making his way back to Charles. “That’s alright- we’ll give ya the ride back so you can think about a better story for the gang.” He pats John’s back, then carefully helps him onto the horse.

After ten minutes of riding and exchanging jokes with Charles, Arthur looks over his shoulder a bit to speak with John, who’s just barely hanging onto consciousness.

“All jokes aside… ‘m glad you’re okay.” He nods once. He’ll allow himself this brief moment of softness. The man seems like he could use it too.

John doesn’t say anything, but he gives Arthur’s chest a gentle pat in thanks where he’s holding onto him for the ride.

“Uh- Abby an’ Jack are real worried too,” Arthur assures him, quieting down now so John can rest if he wants. Before Abby chews his head off for hours about this.

He loves that girl, but damn she gets mad.

Kinda reminds him of you.

Arthur spends the rest of the ride to camp thinking about you, excusing himself from John and Abby’s reunion once the man is safe in a bed.

The tears of joy and the huggin’- it makes him jealous. Makes him hurt. And he’s just too tired for that right now.

Charles joins him in his little cabin a bit later and kneels at Arthur’s side, gently finishing up the shave for him while he just lays there.

It feels… weird. To not do things like that for himself. But you and Charles were always good at showing him he didn’t have to.

After all that work, if all that happened today was getting John back and keeping the family complete, well, he can live with that. Losing another member just isn’t on his to-do list. Especially when losing you still hurts so badly.

Is it fair to Charles? Is he being fair to Charles? Is he… pushing the man away or holding him too far away because he’s still hurting? Maybe Charles understands. He wouldn’t know because he refuses to have emotional talks like that.

Some part of him, though, thinks maybe you sent Charles to him. Because he’s only the second person Arthur has ever met that has the patience to put up with his shit- and that takes a very, very special person.

Months later the gang finds themselves at Horseshoe Overlook. Arthur doesn’t mind it too bad- definitely loves that it isn’t so cold anymore. And he likes being able to break away for a ride through the Heartlands, whether that’s alone or with Charles. They have fun at the saloon. Buy new clothes. New guns.

And somehow, despite all the pain. Arthur feels himself healing even more.

He’s a man with purpose now. He always was, sure, but now he has a reason to keep going- and that’s to make you proud. He never pretended to be a good man, but you thought he was, so he’ll continue that legacy as long as this life affords him.

It takes me weeks to break through the mountains, close to three months of snow and snow, oh! And more snow!

When I finally see the green of grass and trees I almost cry, hurrying down with my horse into the lower mountains.

After a while of debate, I end up going to Strawberry first, asking subtly if they’ve had any newcomers. It almost shocks the literal shit out of me when they immediately start yelling about some mass murder in their town.

Ah. So Micah is still alive. Great.

I hastily donate $100 to their funds for graves to be made and hightail right out of the cute little town. Not, of course, without a bath that was desperately needed.

Oh Arthur, where are you?

I head to the next town. Valentine. I rent a room and spend a few nights there asking around but coming up mostly empty. Of course there have been newcomers, it’s a small town in the middle of nowhere, people come and go every day.

I walk down the street, hardly watching where I’m going as I sigh heavily, then startle as I bump into someone, “hey!”

[renticat]

I am not too good at goodbye

or hello in any sense. It's dreadful hell yeah, I am typing this down on my laptop and it's lagging so much like our connection, correction our connection has been disconnected long time ago.

Okay, it's kinda annoying because typing it here there was no auto capital for first letter so I had to do it manually. Yeah, slight discomfort bear with me and many discomfort of my grammar that is getting worse and not better. I haven't really have any conversation with anyone and watching movies in free illegal websites; forgive me as I don't have the money to afford any entertainment; has been struggle as this country is so good at tackling down the illegal websites now and the server just always buffering, leaving me twice frustrating when I just wanna enjoy my time while ironing all my shit.

Funny that pornography could be tracked down so fast but not with all the corruptors, those corrupt government in parliament and where all the taxes go, it's to them and this country mostly is shit still like my grammar. Improving a little but many downs and everything is pricey.

huh I have been rambling but it has nothing to do with goodbye? to be honest, I was discouraged to upload anything in here as it feels pointless, even when someone read it. But in telegram it gives me a sensation of being wanted until the illusion all come off because it's just too much after the quotes I found yesterday. Don't let the pain of yesterday feeling robbing you this today's joy.

I mean I am surprised the person who blocked me has the ill will to even peeping at my stories, I guess they really do enjoy my misery and the worst part it, I kinda romanticized this broken feeling too much because at least I am able to feel something (even when it hurts) as if I am being fucking honest, I am completely numb in my heart right now.

why? why you ask? it's because all this cycle of hello and goodbyes that is too soon and too much, too meaningless but deep down I wish for it to be real even when mostly because I feel hopeless. And because I realized that no matter how much I love someone and they appears to care about me, it's gonna end fucking shitty and fuck she even gave me broken promises like all the boys did, twice now and I am absolutely out of words. I know she changes but does she have to hurt me like the way everyone do to me? has she got any compassion at all for keep telling me that she fucking cares but in action, there's nothing but cruel silence. only me weeping for her to contact me again.

or not, I don't know. I know I let her down two months ago but it feels like she always excited just at that short moments before completely turn in another fucking direction. Just like any libra did. I want something real. I want someone that hug me in flesh. I don't want any bullshit oh and those people on telegram saying they fucking care when if I ask for treat they couldn't but they wish they can call me for free just be fucking real. I guess I hate my life because this instability, I have told you this and this hell is still going on. MY LIFE IS IN SURVIVAL MODE. can't even afford love, or dream and I am jealous of everyone whose fucking taking it for granted when they don't fucking know what hell is.

and I am afraid because I am stupid in love, thought people are nice when they're not then I become too cynical to everyone and I do feel bad. It's like my defense mechanism. They robbed me from my dream and I am too fucking old to be able to do anything. NO YOU'RE NOT, YEAH YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW FOR SURE AND MONEY IS THE ONLY THING THAT ENDS MY HUNGER RIGHT NOW, NOT YOUR SWEET BULLSHIT.

I used to be able to control the hunger but now, it's something else. Gosh it's already out of topic I should make another post. Like I am so hungry for anything that I know I had been able to have it, if my life has better luck but then all the hardships is what that makes me. Call me negative piece of shit but I am not that giggly person who will turn their back the second any hardships fucking arise because I am the rare flowers that grow all year. Well back then I try to poisoned myself because I haven't figuring the last puzzle but now I am not like that anymore.

Those giggly giggty fuckity people that said good vibes only, smile and no bad vibes is just full of shit. Sorry because as Mark Manson said, wanting only positive experience is a negative experience itself and I agree. I am wishing better days is because my days have been fookin hell but those fucking clowns that have life so easy but then because they're bored, they love saying bullshit things and play with people's feeling as another people feeling's don't matter that much esp who doesn't align with whatever fuckity vibes they bring in.

That kind of people are real assholes and I got blocked by them, I should be happy right but nope I actually feel sad, not little bit. Like truly sad because the genuine good vibes is when you can connect with people no matter what their conditions are. YOU CAN'T DEMAND THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO UNDERSTAND YOU BUT YOU DIDN'T DO THE SAME FOR THEM. It's called fucking bullshit and now I have to bear the pain of like WHY DO I HAVE TO CARE SO MUCH, ofc those narc parents creates the worst empathetic kind of child because they are so caring about others but not to themselves as there are too many negative self talk that have implanted for so fucking long ago, that no one will ever love you because you're unlovable. fuck you. fuck this. I guess it's better that way than to chasing for love that isn't even real when it's just pleasing one's ego.

I deserved love that always stay like me too. I deserve the same love that I've been giving to people. Like they're mad when I talk bullshit about them but when they did that to me first, I have to shut up because what?

because you're the one who is fucking horrible and somehoe i am glad it ended now. but it never ends, when I am chill you'll come back and manipulate me again, well most of the time is because of me. That I am too afraid to making new connections and stupid me think that the one who is very damaged perhaps is better and not that too bad at all when it's bad. It's bad and it's ended badly. It's probably for the best to never romanticizing about it anymore and just find something new. But too bad, there's a lot resentment in me that I truly fucking skeptical that there are people for me, who will fight in bad and good days and respect each other's mind while also kissing my huge forehead everyday. This world is rotten and playing ground. I don't want any part of it. Thought we only play certain characters on the stage not in real life.

if you know how much I fucking care about every fucking one, I guess you couldn't even last a week being me. It's too much and all those heartbreaks only giving me lesson to not fucking care too much. And the world will keep giving you the same lesson until you get it and I get it but I do still cares and wishing too much. Well about their idea of being not themselves though. I guess world trying to teach me stop being so fucking delusional and move on, love yourself. People aren't that funny and they're boring. Worse they're not that cute nor will putting some effort and only giving you so much bullshit still.

[bruhstories]

canopic jar

summary: marc is exasperated by you, but he needs to behave because you're steven's girlfriend. pairing: steven grant x angry & unpredictable!reader warning & content: swearing, violence (reader beats the shit out of a dude), crack, some angst, some fluff, fem!reader wc: ~1.4k

a/n: i absolutely love the 'bag of tricks' series by @heli0s-writes, it brings me so much joy, and i thought 'hmm, what would marc do if he met someone chaotic, unpredictable and with anger management issues?' and this is how this piece was born. i may or may not continue this, hint hint, nudge nudge

orange italics for marc

Marc Spector is in physical pain whenever Steven lets him out.

He's been shot, stabbed, beaten to a pulp, survived the smite of gods but nothing, absolutely nothing can compare to the agony, the antipathy and the loathing he feels towards you.

Those words are big, he doesn't reaaaally hate you — you like to think that — but he truly dislikes you, and cannot possibly fathom from in circle of Hell Steven found you.

Well, he knows exactly how he found you, Marc was inside his head that faithful day, when you decided to visit the museum. Dainty, like a fairy straight out of some weird fantasy cosplay porn, you gingerly touched the very canopic jar that had the label DO NOT TOUCH under it.

Boom. Crash.

That jar met its maker, broken in tens of pieces and the stench– oh, God, the stench! It came as no surprise when you inevitably gagged, everyone around you backing off when your eggs and bacon came back, burning your esophagus.

What a fucking dumbass. Marc said, but Steven, oh, poor Steven, he was stunned.

In your defence, you never thought the jar had its contents full. You thought it was a replica, a cheap copy made by the British Museum.

"How was I supposed to know you lot had a 2.000 year old liver in that cookie jar?" Was your pathetic excuse. Still, you paid for the damage, and boy, were your debts enough for three generations. Goddamn cookie jar.

That day, Steven fell in love with you, but that day was the end of Marc's last crumb of sanity.

*

Steven's apartment is covered in post it notes with simple and easy-to-follow instructions. Nothing can go wrong, right?

Right?

Except for that one time when you emptied Gus' tank to clean it and accidentally set fire to it — how the fuck do you burn a tank???

Or that one time when you wanted to bake a souffle and flooded the kitchen — is she seriously that stupid???

Oooor that one time when you "accidentally" chained yourself to Steven's bed and couldn't reach the key, so you spent 17 hours and 23 minutes starving and thirsty.

Marc found you asleep, uncuffed your ankle and made you a sandwich. That was also the time you learned Steven had a spare key under the mattress and you could have easily unchain yourself.

*

Eventually, Marc got used to your presence and your absolutely ludicrous actions. He learned to predict some of your choices, but you were still unpredictable. He learned to read you, but you were still illiterate — in the nicest possible way. Sometimes his reflexes would be swift, and he'd catch you before hurting yourself.

And other times, you'd fall down the stairs because you got distracted by a cat, or a puppy, or a goddamn rat.

You're not stupid, you're just not paying attention. You're careless and carefree.

Steven loves every bit of you, because the way he sometimes fucks up Marc's missions matches your erratic personality.

And for Marc it's hell.

His very own pure, unfiltered personal hell.

*

Tonight, the two men also learn about your anger management issues.

Marc's on a mission now. It requires stealth and precision, and Steven promised not to interfere.

Khonshu is a merciless god when it comes to those who make mistakes. He punishes and does not forgive, and right now, he's got Marc to "discipline" a few thieves in South London.

"So, do you want me to break all bones or just the arms?" Marc seeks approval from the god before acting. He's sat on a rooftop, his suit bright in the moonlight, scowl plastered on his face.

"Break the legs, too." You suggest.

"Right." He nods, before freezing on the spot, head slowly turning to his left. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

His voice screams exasperation.

"Tracked your phone."

Marc only gives you the how-the-fuck-did-you-manage-this look and you shrug.

"What, like it's hard."

"It's turned off!" Now he's screaming screaming.

"And?"

Jesus fucking Christ. He notices you're wearing all black, as if you're some kind of international super spy, and if the laws of anatomy would permit, his eyes would be doing a full 360 now.

"Stay here. Don't get in my way."

"You got it, partner!" You salute him, face solemn and serious.

Marc dives off the rooftop, gliding through the air with his fancy cape and does his cool superhero landing in a narrow alleyway while you take the fire escape and climb down a million steps. It was worse going up.

Okay, Khonshu lied. Those petty thieves aren't just thieves, they're selling Egyptian artefacts on the black market, and Marc isn't supposed to just discipline them, he's supposed to unalive or worse, arrest them.

And it's fun to sit back watch Marc absolutely obliterate the men, until a poor stray cat happens to run through the fight.

"Watch out for the cat!" You yell and distract Marc enough for a thug to kick him in the nuts — he won't be having any kids soon. "Oof-" You bite your lip. "That's gonna need an ice pack."

"Didn't I tell you to fuck off?"

"No, you told me to stay and not get in your way. Hey, don't touch the cat!" You shout at one of the thugs when his foot nearly steps on the poor feline's tail. But the man sneers and stomps it. The kitty's wail is enough to make your blood boil.

He's fucked.

"Back off!" Marc is still recovering from that kick when he sees you approaching. "Are you deaf?"

"Are you deaf?" You question the thug, but before he can reply or act, you grab a metal bin lid and smack him across the face with it.

Marc, the recently-hit man and his two friends all stop moving, absolutely baffled at your audacity.

"Well? Answer, fuckface!" You smack him again, this time in the abdomen. "What did that cat do to you, huh?" Another smack to his head. "Oh, buddy, you really pissed me off." A knee to the stomach and the man wants to retaliate, but that hit to his head made him dizzy. He shifts his weight from one leg to another but you don't let him regain his balance.

"God, stop-" The man cries out before you land a final lid to his face and he falls to the ground, foetal position.

"That's what I thought, motherfucker!" You proceed to frantically kick him everywhere you can — shoulders, nose, abdomen, knees. "Fuckin' goofy-looking piece of shit!" Kick. "Burn." Kick. "In." Kick. "Hell." Kick.

"Alright, that's enough-" Marc cannot fathom where you gathered the strength to inflict so much damage. But you're not done yet.

"You think hurting cats is fun?" You stomp on his hand. "Bet that cat has the time of its life watching you now." Stomp. "You stale piece of cheese!" Stomp. It's safe to say his own mother won't recognise him in the morning. "Alright, who's next?" You turn towards Marc and the two thugs but both of them are on their knees.

"Arrest us, please!"

*

"That was fun, partner!" You sing-song with a cheery voice.

"Fun? Fun?? That was anything BUT fun! It was stupid, reckless and absolutely bat-shit crazy!" Marc paces through the flat, fingers rubbing his temples.

"Don't get your panties in a twist, Nut Knight." You stuff your face with Doritos. "I think-" munch "I did-" munch "a damn well job-" munch "if I do say so myself."

His lips are pursed, he opens his mouth to talk, but the words don't come out. Instead, his usually straight back is now slightly hunched, his scowl is gone, replaced by raised brows and wide eyes and the very familiar warmth in his brown irises.

"You... did you really beat a man to a pulp because he hurt a cat?" The British accent takes the place of the American one, the rage instantly turned into confusion. Steven knew this side of you better than Marc, but he didn't think you'd go that far.

"B-but, it was a stray cat! It was starving and cold!" You pout, Dorito dust covering your fingers and chin and it melts his heart. "I'm not sorry."

"I'm not scolding you." The corners of his lips turn upwards slightly. "But you really are like a canopic jar."

"Pretty on the outside, rotten on the inside?" You scrunch your nose, reminded of the stench.

"Fragile on the outside, but bloody killer on the inside. That is, if we're talking about 2.000 year old canopic jars."

"Potayto, potahto." You roll your eyes, preoccupied with your snack.

Yeah, Steven adores you, and it's good to know you can protect him in case Marc can't, because if you almost killed a guy for a cat, you'd slaughter hundreds and walk on their corpses for Steven.

And Marc loathes you less. For now.