#and they’re not even bad they’re just. basic or boring or not a reflection of who I am and it’s like

[bloodgutsandpussy]

my tattoos have become a constant source of insecurity because my mom was stupid enough to let me get them when I was young enough to be reading Percy Jackson while getting tatted and now I have too many to remove or cover up that I absolutely hate

[cokoweee]

Heavens to Betsy I’ve been meaning to go on this rant forever but I keep forgetting for some reason

Quick disclaimer- I’m not analyzing your comic at all, I just notice little accuracies that make me happy.

~

Ok coming from a psychology major student, your description of PTSD and mental health issues is actually pretty dang good. Idk if it was intentionally researched or not but there’s like a ton of stuff that’s consistent with real life trauma and it’s quite frankly impressive

Again not sure if this was intentional or not but the thing on his back reminds me so much of old school electroshock therapy which I adore bc

A: it causes confusion and memory loss which you’ve shown and

B: kinda implies that maybe he did his own research when deciding how to deal with everything or

C: again is incredibly accurate in the fact that most trauma patients continuously seek pain out, and in turn report feelings of extreme boredom and numbness when not actively experiencing pain or reliving trauma. In his case going borderline catatonic when he’s not freaking out.

On the topic of “freaking out” a lack or decrease in serotonin leads to a more reactive and intense episodes in PTSD. Or, because the little guy is like mega depressed coz of the whole situation, he gets way more intense and violent episodes that someone who was on like Prozac. And would tend to be more on edge and sensitive to triggers.

Then there’s his family. For some background, there’s a part of your brain called the amygdala. It typically works to control basic emotions, but responds very well to fear. In traumatic experiences, it pairs with the hippocampus (the memory center of the brain) to store vivid and occasionally sensory memories.

When a memory trigger is provoked and brought back into consciousness, it actually changes slightly depending on the context of which it recalled. Those memories are changed to fit how we make sense of them. So if he feels guilty for his brothers death, then his memories will reflect it whether or not it’s actually true.

Essentially, him having his brothers showing up all the time (looking the way they do) is really bad for him on multiple levels, and not just because they’re triggering visually. They’re like actually impeding his ability to recover by keeping him in an aggressive form of already intense fight or flight that comes from trauma.

On a happier note, one of the best ways to improve is to establish and nurture caring relationships. Awww

Aight ima stop here so I don’t bore you to death with random psych facts, but like kudos to you my dude because I could go on forever about some of the stuff in there

Uh yeah

-writing anon 🤡

WRITING ANON? SLAPPING OUT ANALYSISSISIS AND SHIT?

Bein real I dont do much research on shit even tho I should. I just go off what I’ve seen/ learned throughout the years. It’s always good to hear I’m doin ahit right tho!

Lowkey right with the shock tho. Or high key lol. Seeking pain there’s other ways people do it but mmm somehow this seemed the tamest way. Oh writing anon u silly lil saltine cracker

[fuckmeyer]

I saw a post about racist Jasper stans bitching bc they’re not able to enjoy shitty J*sper content bc of tags or whatever lol and someone said: “What is there even to enjoy?”. I had to laugh and I thought if you bc it’s so true. Most Jasper content isn’t even that enjoyable. It’s mostly the same boring white-supremacist garbage that I’ve seen before; even the jalice stuff is played out.

The only J*sper content I enjoy is content where he is worshipping Maria, thinking about Maria, talking about Maria, loving Maria, doing anything for Maria tbh. Is that bad? XD I owe it to you and your writing! idk something about a 19/20 year old dumbass confederate falling madly in love with a native brown woman and literally seeing her as a god-like figure as she’s basically handing him his karma for his racist crimes sends me. Ppl act like he was this awesome person before Maria and that it’s her fault he’s gutter trash now with the C*llens but he was gutter trash BEFORE he met Maria. She honestly made him so much better, stronger and MUCH more interesting. She literally created the man these stans thirst over so much. She is the blueprint.

the thing anti-María Jalice stans don't get is, without María, you do not have Jasper. for everything Jasper is, María is the catalyst ❤️

canonically, all we know about Jasper Hale pre-change is 1) he was born in Texas, 2) faked his age to join the Confederate Army* where he became the youngest major in Texas, & 3) was persuasive

beyond that, María made Jasper into the man the fandom adores. you like that he's an empath? guess whose venom made him one. you like that he's a warmonger? guess whose war he fought for. you like that he has a troubled past? guess who put the trouble in it. you like that he's "soft" "empath" "baby" (tbh i don't see it but ok)? guess who made him want to be that way. you like that he's submissive to Alice? guess who broke him in first.

you want Jasper with Alice but wish the María era didn't exist? lol just say you want the hot faceless Confederate to get with the psychic Mississippian & go

as for me, MARÍA ALL DAY BAYBEEEEE

here we have a woman who has suffered all her life at the hands of colonizers. born "1800s or earlier," we can suppose she has firsthand experience with colonization (at least Napoleon's invasion) & lived through Mexico's War of Independence. i.e., she has a deep familiarity with what it means to have your way of life ripped from you by invaders. PLUS she was a victim of Benito's army in the Southern Vampire Wars; her entire coven including her mate was killed.

& despite her losses, she rallied to take back her land & drive out her oppressors. baseline, she is a strong, cunning, powerful indigenous woman with a deep love for her community and her people. HOT

now let's look at Jasper, a bright leader in the Civil War who suffered defeat at the hands of the Union army. yes, María changed him. but did she force him to stay? to go to war? the newborn vamp with the strength & speed to overcome a "grown" vamp chose not to do so. the empath with the power to make anyone disregard him chose not to use it. some say María was "abusive" & "manipulative," but few acknowledge that Jasper had a choice.

why didn't Jasper leave? because he's submissive to anyone more powerful than him. because he was a loser. because the Southern Vampire Wars gave him a second chance at victory. because "empath" or no, he wanted to play war & win.

that's what's compelling about Jasper/María. as wrong as Jasper was for fighting for the Confederacy, he believed he was fighting for the same thing as she. he saw his way of life destroyed by "invaders" & fought back. it's a sick & twisted parallel between oppressor & oppressed that becomes subverted as their relationship goes on... & one that can heal them both.

María's experience with colonizers gives her a visceral picture of what it means to be oppressed... but her relationship with Jasper gives her the victory & emotional reflection she needs to move on. Jasper's military training gives him the hunger & knowledge for war... but his "curse" of empathy provides him with the tools he needs to recognize & address the horrors of his problematic past & move on.

tbh, i find Jasper & María are perfectly suited for a delicious character-driven narrative. Maria's story is that of a traumatized indigenous woman on a path from colonization to decolonization, & the sacrifices & destruction she endures realize that vision. Jasper's story is that of a troubled man on the path from self-hate to self-love, & what it means to undo the societal teachings/traumas & forge a life of empathy & forgiveness.

& that is something Alice alone can never give Jasper.

tl;dr all hail Queen María

[usergreenpixel]

JACOBIN FICTION CONVENTION MEETING 35: THE QUEEN’S FORTUNE (2020)

1. The Introduction

Well, hello there, Citizens! Neighbors too, since we have a figure who is interesting for both communities. Welcome back to the convention! Please leave weapons by the door cause you will need them later, take your seats and enjoy tea with tricolor cupcakes!

So, Allison Pataki is an author who will definitely become my nemesis in the future, considering her less than stellar work with this particular book (more on that later). Now, I knew from the ever so blunt (but lovely) @maggiec70 that it would be a bad book with about as much accuracy as your average conspiracy theory, but… BOY WAS I UNPREPARED!

The book turned out to be not bad. Not even mediocre. It’s straight up garbage fit only for wiping one’s ass when toilet paper runs out. Don’t believe me? Well, let’s dive deeper into this mess, shall we?

(By the way, I couldn’t find it online for free due to copyright but owners of Audible accounts can purchase the audiobook or you can pay for an ebook.)

2. The Summary

The book tells a story of Napoleon’s first fiancée, one Desirée Clary. She later would become the wife of Marshal Bernadotte and Queen of Sweden, whose descendants rule the country to this day.

Quite a fascinating story, if you ask me! Also, shoutout to @tairin for introducing me to Bernadotte as a historical figure (she is my guide to the Napoleonic era in general too). And to Maggie for bringing this novel to my attention.

Okay, the premise is interesting and extraordinary, isn’t it? But let’s see what the execution is!

3. The Story

Right off the bat, the story reeks of multiple inaccuracies (in both Frev and Napoleonic departments) worse than roadkill in summer heat. Inaccuracies that range from details (such as getting the year of convents closing wrong) to things that could’ve been avoided with one google search (such as Code Napoleon’s date or the timeline of Joseph’s rule of Naples). Also the usual Thermidorian bullshit with evil Robespierre and MODERATE THERMIDORIANS (because a group that includes war criminals is DEFINITELY MORE MODERATE THAN ROBESPIERRE AND CO, AMIRITE?!)

I know I usually don’t review media based on accuracy, but anyone with any knowledge about the topic (like me) risks getting a severe case of a broken brain from everything wrong in the book. This ended up hurting my immersion into the story because I had the urge to scream at my screen the entire time.

Another thing that hurts the narrative is the length. Personally, I found the story really overstayed its welcome and should’ve ended sooner, like after Desirée becomes Queen. But no, it drags on afterwards and the last chapters are basically filler, even more so than the rest of the book (which is a giant bore). The pacing just drags on like an old horse in slow mo.

(The story begins in 1789 and ends in 1860, for a reference.)

Last but not least, there is a very unnecessary and not accurate at all sex scene un the beginning of the book. Not only is that scene completely unnecessary for the story, but it also completely breaks suspension of disbelief and just makes the characters come off as modern cosplayers, not the people they’re supposed to be.

(For those in the back: DESIRÉE NEVER FUCKED NAPOLEON!!)

Okay, moving on!

4. The Characters

Bland. Most of them are blander than the BRAT diet.

Desirée Clary is the worst offender when it comes to characters feeling too modern, since the book is told from her perspective. She’s also a flat character and a bit too omnipresent when it comes to being at important events, even before her marriage to Bernadotte. We also don’t learn much about her as a person so there’s no reason to sympathize with her. Personally, I just didn’t care about her. She’s supposed to be someone who becomes a grown strong person throughout the story but we don’t see much character development to reflect this.

Napoleon Bonaparte is a bit more complex but that bar is low anyway. He definitely has his moments when he’s a jerk but can be a romantic. Also he kisses Desirée without her consent in the book during a game similar to Hide and Seek. Yeah, I wish I was kidding but he’s basically sexually assaulted her in that scene. Other than that, not much to see here either.

Josephine Bonaparte is more complex but still bland and almost saintly at times. Her flaws are severely downplayed or omitted.

The Bonaparte sisters are all catty cunts outright compared to the Furies in the book. Letizia suffers the same fate.

Joseph Bonaparte is a loyal brother and a nice man.

Julie is the doting big sister.

Bernadotte is a loving husband and an ardent Jacobin who has “Death to Kings” tattooed on his chest in the book. Yeah, that old chestnut that is actually nothing more than a myth.

And so on. It’s like a show with cardboard cutouts in lieu of a story with good characters.

5. The Setting

Some descriptions are quite vivid, especially when it comes to Malmaison, but that’s about the only good thing I can say about this book.

6. The Writing

Hoo boy… Remember how I said that the characters feel like cosplayers from modern times? Well, Desirée (in the book) uses gems like “I rooted for her”. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure a bourgeois woman from that time wouldn’t know such words.

The dialogue in the book is mediocre due to the blandness of the characters and Pataki probably not giving two shits about delivering a good book, despite the fact that she is from a very rich and influential family and could’ve easily obtained access to all the research.

But hey, what do I know?

7. The Conclusion

Don’t read this book. Really, just don’t waste your time. I’m disappointed that the author took a good concept for a novel, wiped her ass with it and served the results in novel form.

I have my issues with that 1954 movie about Desirée, but, compared to THIS, that movie is a flawless masterpiece and at least there I felt some sort of way about Desirée as a character. Here, on the other hand, I just don’t give a shit, which is about the worst thing an author can achieve.

Anyway, to fit the theme of an extraordinary person the author was going for, here’s the promised song.

I hope you enjoyed the review and the song. Thank you for joining me today at the Jacobin Fiction Convention and stay tuned for future reviews!

Love,

- Citizen Green Pixel

[artem1sc0re]

So I have this idea of a little fluff-based AU me and my partner came up with out of the fact that all I’ve really seen if Norman and his late boyfriend Reilly in terms of fanfiction would be angst or just pure tragedy.

So basically in this AU Norman Jayden is a flower shop owner and his bf Jack Reilly is a coffee shop owner. The two of them bond through a collaboration of Norman helping jack’s small coffee shop flourish through vibrant flowers that grow throughout spring as well as a traditional homey cafe with a warm beverage.

It’s kind of my first time writing something to do with Norman dialogue-wise, so I have no idea whether I’ve got his character right or not; so to get to know his character and perhaps look for criticism, I’ve written a one-shot.

Please provide criticism for dialogue and let me know how I can improve!! ^^

(EDIT: I GOT IT POSTED ON AO3!! Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53010700)

A proposition.

The coffee owner initiates cleanup the moment he feels the presence of frequent visitors is bare as a desert; swiping dirty tables and crumbs sluggishly, missing the ever few stains of bitter coffee but remaining unbothered. Although more sluggish than usual, he remains oblivious to the observing presence of a flower shop owner, following his moves with his soft and admiring expression, gleaming through his sage-green eyes.

Jack gives up at the sign of his blind movement, missing the small bits and bobs of stains and ceramic plates, straying to the spruce counter to slouch over and reflect, covering his cracking facade with his trembling hands.

Norman notices this, perking up curiously as he snaps out of his trance. At the first sign of vulnerability, he gets up from his spot in the corner, heading to check up on the gloomy coffee owner.

“You look downtrodden tonight. What’s eating at you?”

He broke the cold silence that loomed the closed up and dimly lit shop.

Reilly straightens, his startled eyes looking at Norman like he was a deer staring at headlights.

“I-it’s nothing really. Just had a bad day, I guess.” He answered reluctantly.

Although reluctance was shown, he takes his face out of his hands still creating a tremor as if he were watered down to nothing but a bundle of shivers.

“O-okay, maybe there is something that’s ‘eating away at me’, as you put it.” Jack quivered, giving in to his own emotional state.

Norman’s eyes remain on Reilly, waiting for the burdened barista to speak his words, nodding softly as to remain attentive.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore. Fuck, everyone’s leaving for the café around the corner. Students who used to study here and used to frequent for a good cuppa’ have vanished, and as I walk, they’re chatting away and working at the ‘haba de café’, as they call it. (I ran out of name ideas.)

I can’t even keep it running with all the cost of good quality beans inflating, or the constant remarks about how the haba de cafe is so much better than this run-down place, with their modern decor of fake and artificial flowers, or posters with LED borders.

I might just shut down this place. Find a new apartment and just work a typical 9-5. It’s tiring trying to keep a positive and optimistic passion for this place, when no one wants to see it.” Jack rambled. His face paints with distraught at the thought of being unable to pursue his passion, instead having to go to a boring job in a cheap apartment.

“Hey. Listen.”

A reassuring hand from Norman lands on Jack’s, causing him to glance at the flower shop owner.

“I’ve seen what this place does, and it has potential. Just because some new coffee shop opened up by some wealthy bastard who wants to leech more money off of loyal customers, doesn’t mean you should put yourself down. If anythin’, you shouldn’t even bother comparing yourself to that place. They’ve got more than one person working, meanwhile you’re a one-man management. You work with enthusiasm and it shows in the drinks and the food just how much love was put into it. It’s why people frequent this place. The quiet atmosphere and the homey aroma of this place is what’s so great about it.” Norman reassured, his tone soft-spoken and attentive.

Jack loosens up, his eyes glancing to the polished countertop, staring at the dim reflection of his inverted counterpart.

“That’s what I intended to create.. a quiet yet homely atmosphere..” He cuts himself off, as if something was ignited in the barista, his eyes lighting up in realisation.

“W-why was i getting so worked up for, in that case? This isn’t about the profit, or gaining money. It was just that I wanted to create this environment, intended for everyone to use, to feel at peace as if they’re just at home, about a hot beverage in the cold winter, creating a warm feeling after a chilly day. I was only getting started! Although.. what can I do? It’s going to remain unchanged even if I regain my love for the relaxed atmosphere of a traditional cafe with hand-brewed coffee.” Jack questioned, glancing at Norman.

“I was thinking of a proposition between you and I. Something that could benefit the both of us.” The florist replied, carefully contemplating the words to say to the coffee shop owner, slowly breaking eye contact with him.

“I could help decorate your place, if you’d like. Since valentine’s is around the corner, as well as spring, the flowers are at their optimum and lovestruck teenagers would be buying roses for their significant others. It could benefit the both of us; allowing promotion of my shop, and attraction to your place.” Norman eventually offered, his observant yet hesitant eyes attempting to gauge the reaction of the barista.

Reilly lit up like a star; the happiest he’s been since he opened the place.

“Are you shitting me?! It’s a perfect idea! It’s just the thing I need! Botany, to add some flourish, life to this place! Externally and internally! You fucking genius!” Reilly grips Norman’s loose hand on his into the form of a handshake, moving it firmly before pulling the florist into a hug.

Norman flinched at the sudden physical showcase of gratitude, but something inside him felt warm, the warmth of being able to possibly revive and bring this cafe back in business.

[crockettmarcel]

wc: 1266 warnings: implied self harm, implied suicide attempt, opioid use

also available on ao3

Sarah waits until the last minute, when her alarm is boring into her skull and she’s not sure how much longer she can cope with it, before she gets up off the couch to start her day. Her brain feels fuzzy, and all she’s really aware of is the pain in her side. It’s one of the worst things she’s ever felt, as if she’s being stabbed over and over again with every movement, and even breathing is a challenge. 

Each step she takes sends a jolt of agony up her side, and as she makes her way to the kitchen, she considers calling in sick for the next week. There are patients who need her though, and she can’t risk raising suspicion among her colleagues. She has an assortment of pain medication stashed around her house that she’s collected over the last few months, all of it strong enough to make some sort of dent in her pain, and it should be enough to see her through the worst of this. She’ll be okay.

There’s a half-eaten cereal bar on the counter, and she finishes it standing over her kitchen sink, letting the crumbs fall into the bowl. She follows it with codeine and a mouthful of water, then just stands for a moment, gripping the edge of the counter hard enough for her knuckles to turn white. 

With a shaky breath, she stands up straighter and rolls her shoulders back, tipping her head to the side to see if her neck will crack at the motion. Nothing, but she rubs it with her good arm anyway. 

She really needs to get ready for work.

By the time she’s standing in just her underwear in front of her wardrobe, she’s crying in pain. Seeing her reflection doesn’t help, either. The whole right side of her chest is a deep purple, all the way down to her waist, and the bruise is accompanied by two-day-old cuts on her forearms and upper thighs. She can’t figure out how things got this bad, or even how she was unlucky enough to make it home in the early hours of this morning. 

She should have tried harder.

The clothes she wore to work yesterday are discarded haphazardly on the end of her bed, and she’s not sure anyone, save for maybe Noah, will notice if she wears them again. They’re clean enough, and she doesn’t have it in her to go searching for a new outfit. They’ll do.

Her ribs ache in protest as she buttons her shirt, and she sees stars as she bends over to pull up her slacks. Carefully, methodically, she scrunches up one leg of the cotton and feeds her socked foot through the hole, then again with the other leg. Rinse and repeat. 

Before she leaves her bedroom, she stops to examine herself in the mirror one more time. There are tracks of mascara running down both cheeks, and she rubs at them until they’re gone, and her skin is red and raw. She has enough time to fix it, so she slowly makes her way to the bathroom and splashes her face with cold water. It doesn’t do much, so she applies a little moisturizer and then heads to the front door, making sure to grab the rest of the codeine off the kitchen counter on her way. 

Her chest is screaming at her as she ties her shoes, and she’s sure she’s going to pass out, but she breathes through it. In through the nose, out through the mouth, the way she’s coached so many patients through panic attacks. Deep breath in, her ribs twinge, deep breath out, the pain lessens. She can handle this. 

She can’t lift her backpack without excruciating pain, so she leaves her building with just her white coat in her hand. Between that and her winter coat, she has enough pockets to carry the basics with her — phone, keys, gum, hand cream, pens, case log, and codeine. She’ll be okay.

The drive to Med is a blur, and it’s only when she pulls up in her parking space that she realises she doesn’t remember any of it. For a moment, she just sits there, seatbelt still buckled and trying to take deep breaths again, as she wracks her brain for any details of the journey. Her head’s pounding now though, and she comes up empty. At the very least, her car looks okay when she gets out and checks it, so that’s something.

She wonders about the state of the car from this morning. Was the impact of her body enough to dent it? Or did it drive away without a scratch?

By the time she gets to the ED, she only has a minute until her shift starts. Will enters the doctors’ lounge just after her, and he’s surprisingly chirpy. He’s trying to initiate a conversation, just small talk, and Sarah does her best to engage with him. Even speaking hurts, and she answers his questions in as few words as possible. He doesn’t seem to notice, or if he does, he doesn’t say anything.

She follows him back out to the ED, and she’s so focused on the pain that she doesn’t notice Noah until he’s right in front of her. They make eye contact, and immediately his smile is replaced with a frown.

“You okay?” He asks, looking her up and down.

“Mhm. Fine.”

“Didn’t you wear that yesterday?” As predicted, he noticed, and Sarah instinctively takes a deep breath. The pain is intense, and she has to force herself not to react.

“Last week. I wore the pink shirt yesterday.”

He tilts his head to one side. They both know she’s lying. “Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t look… happy.”

“I told you, I’m fine. I’ll see you later.”

She turns and walks away, but stops after only a few feet to lean against a desk. Breathing is noticeably harder now than it was when she woke up, and it’s not just the pain. With every breath she takes, it feels like she’s getting less and less oxygen, but as uncomfortable as it is, she tells herself to push through it.

Noah’s eyes are on her as she starts walking again, so she does her best to act like everything’s okay. Everything is okay, she thinks, as she goes over the possibilities in her head. Maybe this morning wasn’t completely fruitless. There’s still time.

Dr Charles is standing at one of the computers, and Sarah gives him what she hopes is a warm smile when he notices her. His face doesn’t fall the way Noah’s did, so it must have done the job. 

“Good morning, Dr Reese. How are you today?”

“I’m good, thanks.” There are black spots in the corners of her vision, and it’s taking every ounce of energy she has just to keep breathing.

“Great! We have a patient in treatment four, an eleven-year-old girl…”

Sarah can see his lips moving, but his words are getting quieter with each passing second. The black spots now cover her vision, and although she’s doing the motions, her chest rising and falling, she doesn’t feel like she’s getting any air at all.

“Dr Reese?” He’s staring at her now, concern written all over his face, and she nods. Everything’s spinning, and her head feels like it’s splitting open. “Are you okay?”

His voice echoes around her, and it’s like he’s speaking to her from the other end of a tunnel. She nods again.

“‘M fine,” she mumbles, and then everything goes dark.

[moonlightdancer26]

AYO 💕 I'm bored, so here be me, offering 1: a funny rant for entertainment, and 2: an opinion for reflection (primarily mine).

Rant: did you know that jegulus shippers hc that Snape bullied Regulus with the other "bad" slytherins? And even acted predatory?? Legit read a scene where Mulciber manhandled Regulus and Snape watched cool and composed as you please and chided him for "playing with his food", then he himself slammed Regulus against a wall, got up in his face and threatened him. 😭🤡 Meanwhile Sneep and Regulus were probs CEO and COO respectively of the Sirius Black Haters Club. Even indifference from Regulus' part would be more likely than someone like him with an important and infamous family getting bullied by his own housemates, let alone by Snape who was at the bottom of the social ladder. Cringe. 😬

Opinion, a little more weighted. Though the blatant racism in Rowling's writing and characterizations of certain characters is undeniable, I've personally come across a few sjws who imo see it even where it's not. But there are instances where I'm not sure. Like with Shacklebolt, I always thought that the name was about him putting criminals in shackles, being good at his job, not an allusion to slavery. But I'm white and don't know whether black people actually consider it a good point, and just bc something is said or seen w/o bad intention doesn't mean there aren't implicit racist connotations going unnoticed. It's been going around in my head for a while. I summon your illustrious spouse @halfblood-princes-crown who iirc is poc (also realised I'm not following him which, great oversight), and anyone else who'd like to contribute their thoughts.

Hey sweetie! Sorry for the late-ish answer 😭 I completely forgot this was in my drafts

did you know that jegulus shippers hc that Snape bullied Regulus with the other "bad" slytherins? And even acted predatory??

YES OMG, I can’t even explain how stupid it is. Like these mfs really think some poor greasy bullied half-blood Slytherin could even bully a Black (who’s the opposite of everything I mentioned, aside from Slytherin) 💀 plus they both hated Sirius and would legit kill for the people they love so I have a petty headcanon that they’re besties and Sirius HATED it. You just know Reggie would be there when James and Sirius try to target Snape, and when James gets roasted and Sirius tries to join in Reggie would be like “and why are you talking? Don’t you *spills an embarrassing sibling-secret Sirius still does from when they were kids*?” and they’d stand there like 👬) 🤭 Tbh Marauder stans would go to such drastic lengths just so they make it seem like the Marauders bullying Snape was as mild as possible lmao.

But there are instances where I'm not sure. Like with Shacklebolt, I always thought that the name was about him putting criminals in shackles, being good at his job,

I totally understand that! It could be argued that that’s what it meant, because it really is a reasonable perspective……. that is, if Kingsley wasn’t part of the 4% POC characters in the series. Why would she give one of her only black characters a last name that’s meaning was an item used to chain slaves? It was apparently absolutely impossible for her to name any other white auror (basically every other auror) that was good at their job that name?

Along with all that, she’s named the only other Asian character (aside from the Patil twins) Cho Chang, both of which are last names. And it’s clear Rowling’s one of those authors who really put thought into their characters’ names, for example: Severus Snape (his first name directly translates to “stern” or “harsh”), Voldemort (mort means “death,” and when translating each section of the name in French, “vol de mort” it means “flight from death”), Remus Lupin (…wolf wolf 💀), Dolores Umbridge (Latin origins: “lady of sorrows or pain” (psychological or physical), Greek meaning: “deceitful,” Spanish meaning: “pain”), Fenrir Greyback (in Norse mythology: Fenrir is a gigantic and terrible monster, Greyback sounds similar to silverback, which is known as the dominant male in a band of gorillas), Fleur Delacour (“flower of the court”), and so on. I could literally talk about their name meanings for hours. My fave name meanings are Severus’s, Voldy’s (biggest flex is that I already knew this bc it’s French 🤭), Remus’s (😭 I already knew “Lupin”’s meaning because of the wolf (lupus) in mythology), Umbitch’s, and Fleur’s. Tbf Fleur’s full name is so stereotypically French but French names are almost as stunning as she is so I give it a pass.

Anyway, Rowling definitely isn’t one of those authors who give their characters a name they think “just fits them” and goes on with it, almost all of the characters’ names say something about their personalities to an extent. And she’s already a racist and proved it through making an Asian character’s full name consist of one Korean last name (Cho) and one Chinese last name (Chang). So the fact that she named one of her only black characters THAT name definitely must not have anyyy underlying intentions.

I may be a POC but I’m not black, so I’m sure my opinion won’t hold as much water as a black person’s. I’d be interested to hear what y’all think! @halfblood-princes-crown we’re summoning you babe, I wanna hear what you think.

And thanks for the ask btw, you can yell into my inbox whenever you feel like it ❤️

[lucysweatslove]

Wait y’all I think I got it. I’m annoyed and disheartened about what is basically just another iteration of the halo effect.

Divergent bodies are labeled socially as “bad.” Divergent neurotypes are labeled socially as “bad.”

Neither are actually bad, but they’re labeled that way in society’s “constructs.” If you show a divergent body (eg, a limb difference, higher fat %, a different fat distribution or body shape), people WILL treat you differently. If you unmask neurodivergence and “act autistic” or “act ADHD,” people WILL treat you differently.

I think we ALL know this is true.

BUT BUT BUT.

If you unmask neurodivergence but present a normative body, you’re more likely to be “forgiven” for the neurodivergence. If you unmask neurodivergence but you have a divergent body, you’re more likely to be judged more for the neurodivergence.

Obviously eating disorders are far more complex, but I think some part of mine was basically “if I make myself as small as possible, my body will look closer to the normative, and my social deficits won’t be seen quite as negatively.”

And the annoying part is that it was actually fucking true. As I’ve gained weight, growing into a body that is both divergent from the “accepted shape” and divergent from the “accepted weight/overall size,” even if I’m masking the SAME EXACT WAY, having the same exact behaviors, I’m seen as even more neurodivergent??

I’m not kidding. I could get REALLY EXCITED about pugs and sunscreen when I was thin and people would think it’s a little weird but also cute and yeah, sunscreen is important!! But now when I get really excited about pugs and sunscreen, it’s obsessive and creepy and who tf cares? My “unmasked” thinking face uses the same facial muscles- nothing has changed about it other than the amount of flesh on my cheeks- but when I was thin, people would check in and ask if I’m doing alright (because it looked odd for the situation). Now, people don’t ask me about it- they just assume I’m disinterested or even worse, bitchy.

Even my INTROVERSION is seen more negatively?? (Keep in mind that US culture especially is extrovert-normative; despite introversion being so common, introverts are expected to ACT extroverted when they do go out and socialize). When I was thin, I was quiet, introspective, thoughtful, observant, intentional, intelligent. Now that I’m not thin, the same level of quiet reflection before I think is labeled as bored, slow (yes as in my intelligence is low), meek, reclusive, standoffish, antisocial, insecure.

[too-many-rooks]

Writing procrastination game!

Thanks @lastlymatt for tagging me, I got rambly so I’ll put this under a ‘read more’

Tagging @pigandpepper @known-concepts @countessrivers

1.) what’s the name of one of your wips?

My doc names are usually very boring 95% of the time I finish a fic and think it’s ready to post and realise I need a title. How about ‘Yassen Bedroom Visit’?

2.) Describe a Wip in the format of __+__=__

SCORPIA heir Alex + totally normal kidnapping and drugging in the middle of the night get to safety orienteering exercises = childhood trauma

3.) What tags/warnings will one of your Wips need if you share it?

Forced child seperation?

4.) alternative title to a wip?

I don’t really have alternate titles! Titles tend to come pretty late in the process!

5.) which wip are you most likely to update/finish next?

Probably one of my s3 aus I’ve got brewing, there’s a longer thing I posted the first chapter of today but I also have some one shots, one where Yassen gets wounded fighting off Alex’s enemies and Alex basically has to hold him down to say he cares about him, and another where Yassen comes to chat to him in the middle of the night (while Alex is sleeping) and they catch up.

6.) what is one of your wip’s document title, not what it’s name is but what you have it saved as?

Again, extremely boring. Some examples - ‘Tom/House introduction’, ‘stables’, ‘the ball’, ‘heir apparent 1-9’, ‘hunting’ ‘hostage’ ‘orienteering.’

On reflection, these are very badly organised. But, hey Ho.

7.) post any sentence from your WIP?

Okay this took me forever to decide bc I want to share like, all of my sentences, but here’s a sentence from my SCORPIA heir Alex thing where Yassen just tries to take a day off, but is interrupted by Alex sneaking out of school/the country and mountain his school is on

‘Rubbing his eyes with his forefinger and thumb, he blocked out the little blonde headache sat before him, and sighed, already imagining the state of his email inbox when he got back to his laptop, which he’d sworn would stay folded in its case for the rest of the day.

“And how long ago was this? When should I start expecting panicked calls from your father?”‘

8.) a scrapped idea from your WIP?

Not necessarily a scrapped idea but evidently one I forgot about and rediscovered as I was flicking through google docs - originally a pre-season 3 idea (but could work post s3) where Yassen retires, and decides it’s time for Alex to retire too, even if he doesn’t want to. Very “congratulations you are being adopted! Do not resist.” Meme with Yassen that I’ve seen on here, the bit I’d written was him contemplating the least traumatising way to kidnap him, to make sure they’re a happy family unit post-kidnapping

9.) what’s a story you would love to write but have yet to start?

Alex sees dead people AU - Ian knows, when he dies his ghost becomes bound to Alex, and helps take care of him/watch over him in the field, Alex bumps into Yassen at Point Blanc and immediately recognises the ghost bound to him as his father, especially as he begs the assassin to stop pretending like he can’t hear him for once and let him see his son, to protect him.

10.) how many WIPs are you actively working on?

Four - regency fic, darker Alex s3 au, two other s3 aus I mentioned earlier. Suprised myself by how much of this longer ‘SCORPIA heir’ Alex thing that I’d put off for a while I’ve actually written. That’s one that I really want to finish before I start posting bc I’m bad at doing work without an immediate emotional reward/it’s a longer than anything I’ve written before and I don’t want to give up on it when it’s half published. I had been delaying it till after s3 but maybe time to get to work (will try and finish regency fic first)

11.) is there a scene your struggling to write now?

Oh I mean so many but the most immediate stumbling block is with the regency fic, chapter after this one they go to a ball and that’s almost basically written and so is a lot of the next two chapters but there’s things I need to thread into this chapter that just don’t want to be threaded - I need Alex to start being a bit more suspicious of Yassen, and remember that whole thing about his uncle being murdered now he’s a bit passed the initial princess diaries revelation moment.

I was thinking like Alex waiting up for him on Christmas Eve or something and falls asleep then is woken by Yassen sneaking back in and Alex noticed he’s got blood on his clothes or something and Yassen just shrugs him off and reacts more strictly/authoritatively than he has before. But the scene is a bit sludgy I my mind atm.

12.) Not a question but a second kudos!

[euphorial-docx]

I need your spoiler free movie review please I need to know if I have to see it tomorrow or if I can wait until after thanksgiving

ask and i shall deliver

“BONES AND ALL” SPOILER-FREE REVIEW

ok so i have many thoughts. so many. maybe too many. i’ll start with the basics:

cinematography: stunning. 10/10. every shot is beautiful and really puts a spotlight on the under-represented and under-appreciated beauty of the american midwest and south. as a midwesterner, i really appreciated the way it painted my home and it’s surrounding areas.

there a lot of close-up shots, which usually are very uncomfortable, and that i think works well for this. you’re supposed to be uncomfortable sometimes while watching this. there are also some shots that remind me of classic, old horror movies— you’ll know exactly what i mean when you see it.

there are a few scenes in particular that i loved the cinematography of: a scene of a character climbing out of a window, a scene of characters swimming in a lake at night as 4th of july fireworks were going off, and a sequence of shots during a county fair.

costumes: loved them. i love costumes, and i love that outfits were re-used throughout the film. they all have a distinct style (i definitely liked timothee’s lee outfits the best. i feel like his costumes had a lot of personality and reflected his character’s eclectic attempts to figure himself out very well.)

the music was perfect. very understated, but when it came in, it was a great addition. it never distracted, only amplified. but i will say, a song at the end of the movie wasn’t my personal favorite— i would have preferred silence— but that’s just me. overall, perfect.

also, the soundtrack was great too. i picked up on “lick it up” by kiss, “atmosphere” by joy division (anyone that knows me knows i love joy division, so you bet i was dancing in my seat), and “your silent face” by new order (which i also love because of their connection to joy division.) solid song choices.

the performances were all so fluid with the story. everyone was bringing their a-game, but it didn’t like they were even trying to. it all felt very natural, like they weren’t trying too hard and were just doing what felt right to them. there didn’t seem to be any self-serving intentions with the actors; everything they did, it was for the betterment of the film. it’s honestly so easy to forget they’re just actors acting and not real people.

the editing was great too. a great example of its beautiful editing were the dream sequences. it was fun to try and piece together what they mean— whether it’s literal or symbolic. i really enjoyed them and the kind of mystery and surprise they brought.

and now for my issues (none of them are too bad, really. overall the movie was beyond any good words, but i have a few bones to pick.)

there was a section about 75% into the film where i just like… sure, i guess. there’s a problem, and then almost immediately it’s solved and forgotten, and the problem’s quick retraction makes me wonder why it was even left in the movie. it just felt a little pointless? because overall it didn’t impact the story too greatly, and i feel like there were other ways to do the things it was trying to do. i can see what they were trying to do though, so it wasn’t confusing, just a little oh ok, you know what i mean?

i also wanted a bit more room to breathe near the end after that problem was retracted. it’s like after that problem, the movie just kind of threw some things at you and then, after a very beautiful shot that finally gave a little time to sit with your feelings, it ended. i wanted time for the dust to settle before i got a ton of action shoved my way.

i wouldn’t necessarily call that part a pacing issue, because the film did feel consistent and natural. i was never bored, and i was never overwhelmed (until the end), and never ever was i truly taken out of the immersion. and even when i was overwhelmed, i do think that was somewhat the point— the scene in question by nature is a chaotic one— but as i said, i wanted the dust to settle a bit first. that’s all.

to nitpick just once: i didn’t like the text fonts they chose for title cards at the beginning and throughout the film. this movie doesn’t give me sans-serif vibes, but they used sans-serif for everything but the end credits. i also thought when the first card came up saying VA (virginia) was a glitch in my theater because of the text and its opacity. but that’s just truly nitpicking.

let’s get away from the negatives, shall we?

let’s talk more about the performances!

taylor russell was a very, very, very strong and compelling lead, despite her character being soft-spoken and introverted. she is amazing at portraying these kind of shy and quiet characters in a way that isn’t exaggerated or boring. her expressions and body language show everything without her having to say word, but when she does speak it matches her nonverbal acting and somehow continuously outdoes her own performance, and it’s truly amazing to watch. she was so easy to root for and care for, which is a hard feat considering the inciting incident that introduces us to maren. i genuinely don’t think this film would have worked with anyone else as the lead, or anyone with less talent and ease as taylor russell. i cannot commend her enough for this, and i really hope the oscars give her that lead actress nomination.

timothee did great, he was a bold supporting character (i wouldn’t consider him a lead, even though he has been submitted for oscar consideration for a “lead” role, but oh well.) his character is very hard to place because of all the walls lee puts up and then lee’s own confusion about his own place, and timothee plays those complexities beautifully. he brings a sense of charisma to this movie that i think it truly needed— from the get-go, lee draws you just with his demeanor and physicality. i don’t know how else to describe his performance but “loose”— he molds seamlessly into aloofness, to playfulness, to annoyance, to desperation. timothee knew what to do with this movie, and this movie knew what to do with him.

and now…

mark FUCKING rylance.

holy shit, dude.

that man was a force in this movie. his mere presence brought me discomfort. he didn’t even need to say anything; his body language, his breathing, his expression said it all. every time he was on screen, i was holding my breath. i’m hoping he also gets nominated for supporting actor, because he reall does deserve it. i can see why he already has an academy award to his name.

honorable mentions: michael stuhlbarg served the story well with his small role— he was similar to mark rylance in the sense that his presence was enough to discomfort me. chloë sevigny was also really good with her very limited screen time. she had almost no lines at all and i was still impressed by her.

as for all his work, there is one thing that luca is a master at: immersion.

i mentioned it before, but oh boy, does this movie attack your sense in the best (and intentionally worst) ways possible. the scenes of them eating is actually vile, and i love it. the sound of the eating— the squelching of blood, the chewing, the kind of animalistic groans the actors let out— it’s so unsettling but undeniably fitting.

overall, i’d give this movie a 9.8, but honestly i’ll just round it up and say it’s a 10/10.

i had a few minor issues, but none of them were distracting or infuriating. in spite of those issues, it thrives. “bones and all” captures your attention, and everyone involved were clearly passionate and believed in this movie and enjoyed creating it.

as the credits rolled, i was staring at the screen in absolute shock and with complete adoration. this is one of those films that is a showcase of the power of storytelling and art and creating, and reminds me exactly why i love film. it inspires hope, oddly enough.

watch it as soon as possible. you won’t regret it.

[gremoria411]

And now for something a little different from your regularly scheduled programming.

*This post and any others like it will contain spoilers*

*General spoiler-free advice for anyone looking to try the game out will be listed at the bottom*

I recently realised I had basically every Assassin’s Creed game I really wanted to play, so I figured I’d play through the entire series until I either got bored or distracted, starting with the Original game for the Xbox 360, which I had never played before. I got into the series via AC: Brotherhood and AC: Revelations and I have a bad habit of starting a game, getting most of the way through, then just stopping, so I was determined to see at least the first game through to the end.

I’m going to go through my specific highlights of the game, low points and just generally talk about the parts that interest me. I’ve played multiple Assassins Creed games in the past, predominantly Brotherhood, Revelations and IV: Black Flag.

Highlights

Characters! I absolutely love how everyone has an actual personality and acts and reacts as actual people. I’ll probably go further into this in another point but most every character you interact with is different (barring the guards and pedestrians), and give the impression of goals, motivations and an entire life that you only have a brief window into.

The Bureau Leaders are probably my favourite example of the above. Jabal, Malik and…. the other fellow are Altaïr’s main points of contact in each city and their relationship with him changes as you progress throughout the game, parallel with how Altaïr himself develops.

Speaking of; Altaïr. He starts the game as an entitled prick of the Assassin Order, promptly fucks up horribly, and spends much of the game making amends for his mistake and ultimately growing as a person and understanding the philosophies of the Assassin Order. Their creed, if you will. He has real development and makes mistakes, but you emphasise with him for most of it because you learn things at the same rate he does.

The single Templars dotted about the map - functioning essentially as mini-bosses, there are Templar Knights with red helmets standing guard at various points throughout the maps. Though I never searched them out, it was gratifying to be presented with a single target where the only objective was to kill them. In one memorable encounter, I ran full pelt at a Templar and was able to stab them seven times before they could even get their sword out.

The actual Templar assassination targets are also all pretty good, character-wise. Certainly some are better than others (I’m not really a fan of the penultimate boss(es), nor Majd Addin), but it’s overall a very good showing, some managing to elicit sympathy, others showcasing how far they’re gone.

I like how the three cities are each distinct in their colouration and architectural style - Acre is a dull grey and has numerous churches and destroyed buildings, reflecting its recent seizure by King Richard and the Crusaders. Damascus is a warm orange and is dotted with mosques and gorgeous towers with scripture all across them. Jerusalem is a delightful green and has numerous gardens, lending it an earthy feel. I admittedly found Acre the weakest of the three, but it was nonetheless nice how I could easily tell which city I was in.

Low points

The fucking timed assassination missions. I like the flag hunts, those are nice. It’s a good test of your free-running ability and it feels like you’re strutting your skills to the novitates. But the timed assassination missions are just you running around stabbing people and desperately hoping there aren’t any guards you haven’t seen. They’re the only missions I ever had to retry.

Speaking of the guards - There’s roughly three kinds, varying in competency and damage. With three cities and multiple different armour designs, it can be difficult to distinguish which are the actual threats in any given fight. This can lead to Altaïr being thoroughly brutalised in a very short period, since you can very easily not notice how much health you’re losing until it’s too late. Furthermore, the guards tend to crowd around you and attack sequentially. Though rare this can sometimes lead to you getting what I termed “Ultra Combo’d” during my playthrough - multiple guards will attack within a very short window, each knocking you into the next swing and leaving you little opportunity to parry or dodge.

Speaking of the guards, during the final parts of the game you essentially have to wade through multiple combat encounters with well-trained enemies. So unless you’ve rigorously practiced with the combat system beforehand it can be very easy to get killed. It bothers me specifically because it’s just been one aspect of the game until now, but it just becomes the main part right near the end, so if you don’t have the combat down pat, then you’re gonna have a bad time.

Saving Citizens is fine, but I wish they had more than five lines to thank you with, even if some of the line deliveries are really good. Also I didn’t use the vigilantes much (barring one memorable assassination where they restrained a target for me)

General points

The beggars are fairly obviously designed to be annoying and get in the way, which is reinforced by their behaviour and almost mocking voice lines. However there’s one in Jerusalem that appears to randomly have a far softer voice that elicits far more sympathy.

I was surprised by how much of Desmond’s story is in this - particularly given that later games apparently decided to drop that entire plot. I find it far more interesting than I expected to, particularly how Desmond grows from experiencing his ancestor’s past life and how you know absolutely nothing about the modern Assassin Order (Desmond and Lucy’s conversation about how Abstergo found him is particularly interesting).

Though it’s something of an old game now, I was surprised by how resonant I found many of its themes - the Abstergo and the Templars are explicitly mentioned and shown to excercise information control and censorship - one of your assassination targets is in the process of leading a book burning when you kill them which is a relevant theme to, well, basically all modern media. The Assassins and Templars both seek peace, but the Assassins aim to teach people to comprehend the truth, whereas the Templars seek to obfuscate the truth and control people by presenting an illusion of the world. Freedom through knowledge versus Order through Oppression. It’s also interesting that this is what the Assassins seek as a group, rather than a focus on individualism.

Similarly to the above point, I like how Brotherhood is emphasised as a theme - Altair succeeds in his tasks due to the help of his brothers, but it’s them working towards a common goal, not some “power of friendship” thing (for the record, I don’t dislike “power of friendship” but it’s very easy to do wrong).

The Ending…… I like, but it does feel anticlimactic, and I find it’s very easy to pick up on some of the twists just through the landscape and the design of certain areas. That said, I think it’s a good set up for a sequel (even though they probably couldn’t have known it at the time). I can however see why they made the decision to excise Desmond’s plot later - though I very much like Desmond’s plot (at least so far), it kinda clashes with the historical Assassin storyline. Though I do love how eagle vision becomes relevant right at the end.

The Freerun system - it’s in the other points column because, when it works, it’s amazing. You feel like a masterful assassin, free and able to effortlessly outrun your pursuers, striking down targets as you need. When it doesn’t work, it’s just a massive frustration, as you try get Altair’s chaffinch brain to grab something as ten guards bear down on you. Mixed results, essentially.

Tips for new players

So you hear about that new Assassin’s Creed *Insert Title Here* and wanna see how it all started do you? Or maybe you just think this particular one sounds cool. Here’s some stuff I picked up during my playthrough:

Throwing Knives are amazing, use them. Just one little blade and a guard is no more. However, you do need to ensure there’s nothing between the two of you and it’s difficult to refill them without returning to Masayaf.

The Hidden Blade, as long as you just do the slow walk assassination and don’t do the big fancy jump, a target killed by the hidden blade will take a few seconds to die, thus granting you time to escape before the guards notice.

Citizens around the streets will spawn either vigilantes or scholars after being saved. If you’re struggling to get in places, then look around for a citizen that can get you some scholars. Vigilantes will distract guards for you, but they don’t really come up much unless you run towards them when being pursued.

Some Story assassination missions are designed to degenerate into chases or combat. When in doubt, just gun for the assassination target.

Speaking of Combat, some later enemies will counter your attacks, but you can counter their counters. A good strategy is to attack then immediately counter as the animation plays - if there’s no counter then it doesn’t cancel anything, but it will immediately counter the enemies counter if they attempt one.

You lose synchronisation by punching beggars and lepers/madmen, but not drunkards. Do with this information as you will.

Try to get all the Eagle Vision synchronisation points in the Kingdom on your first visit to each city. Guards get tetchier later in the game, and it makes navigation much easier to have them all.

[sunriseverse]

it’s crazy to me how as soon as xy realized that hey, this is guy is nice to me? he just got bored and stopped antagonizing xxc. truly just shows how much he is a product of his environment and if even one person would have loved him when he was a child the whole chang clan massacre probably could have been avoided. he is a character so deeply deprived of genuine love and care it is actually insane. when i look at him i see someone is holding on so deeply to a child’s anger that he can’t possibly understand how he could be in the wrong. it’s like, you know when a kid gets mad and they’re like, “it’s MY toy!” or “he hit ME first!” and they don’t think about how actions made in retaliation could also be wrong because they don’t have the emotional capacity to do so yet? neither does xue yang. his trauma stunted his emotional development so genuinely badly because no one was ever there to help him work through it so it just sat and ruminated for years and years and years. and of course by the time the chang massacre rolled around he probably thought murder was like… the normalest thing ever. but as soon as someone was nice to him he was just happy to play house. who needs murder when you have to fix a leaking roof?

this got long again i really do apologise! please find my rambling below the cut.

part of me feels the need to preface this with a “yes i know he’s a bad person i’m not excusing his actions etc etc etc” but we are both rational adults and fans here so like. fuck that tee bee aich. i think you’ve hit the nail pretty much head on—xy is (as are……….basically all the characters in mdzs, to more or less obvious degrees) a product of his environment. yes, he made the choices he made, but that doesn’t change the fact that he was, essentially, given a really big disadvantage at best to start with. like you say—xy’s trauma, and the way people treated and continue to treat him, absolutely stunted his ability to even conceptualise situations as more than a “me versus them” and have in-depth reflections on nuances.

on that note, i want to touch on the finger thing. his own reasoning for the chang massacre is absolutely childish in nature—but also, there’s no other way to say it: it’s entirely possible that, if he was even a hair’s breath less lucky, that injury could have killed him. even when it didn’t, that was an incalculably cruel thing to do to a literal child, just because you can. the only difference between xy and any other child who may have suffered at cca’s hand is that xy grew up to be able to take revenge for it. that’s it. in the framework of mdzs, it’s perfectly acceptable on a social level to kill someone to take revenge for them killing one of yours—it’s life for a life to settle a debt. in xy’s mind, he really does believe a finger, and thus the loss of a potentially entirely different life, is perfectly balanced by the lives of the chang clan. i’m not going to argue whether or not this is “true”—it doesn’t really matter. all that i want to highlight is that he’s not making shit up—he’s taking an existing societal framework and applying his own understanding to it—an understanding that is, necessarily, stunted and warped by his own experiences. (another thing i think that xy forces the audience to face is the question of “how much suffering or pain is enough to be ‘worthy’ before you’re allowed to do something about it?” his society says a life; he says a loss of a potential life. this is a question we could debate until the geese migrate, and come to wildly different answers based on cultural differences.) (and to that point—i wouldn’t say xy thinks murder is normal—instead, i would say that he merely has a different metric for what makes murder “acceptable” than the society around him. no one particularly bats an eye at the wen wwx tortured brutally and, yes, murdered, to take retribution for the jiang massacre, in or out of canon, because this is an “acceptable” situation for murder. but, of course, this is me being pedantic.)

as to your final point—yes. who does need murder when you can fix a leaking roof? isn’t it so much more fulfilling to fix a problem than to bloody a blade? death will just come back to haunt you—family, friends, the government, random fucking cultivators who decide to track you down for your crimes, and so forth. a leaking roof is simple. it doesn’t ask you to consider consequences, or ramifications, or anything more than “where am i going to get a nail” and “where did i put the hammer” and “i hope it doesn’t rain while i’m trying to fix it”. a leaking roof is the sort of simplicity xy, i think, even if he will never admit it, craves—you have a problem, and you fix it, and that’s the end. now you can have dinner without getting wet.

[thefilmsimps]

Moonage Daydream (dir. Brett Morgan)

-Jere Pilapil- 6.5/10 There is simply no pleasing me sometimes. I’m sorry. For years I would complain to anyone who’d listen that music biopics are boring. Their formula has been done to death, a zombie limping along after being skewered so thoroughly by Walk Hard. Their dramatic arcs were hoary and predictable a couple seasons into VH1’s Behind the Music. The number that rise above “competent” for me in the last 10 years probably can be counted on one hand. Cinema has wrestled with the question of how to define a person’s life since at least Citizen Kane, and that has been a question in art and literature for even longer. And yet, we’ve basically flattened the answer to “5 very good songs and one very bad vice.” And so here comes Brett Morgan with Moonage Daydream, a kaleidoscopic imagining of David Bowie, the man, in his own words. It seeks to tell us about Bowie, through songs, performances and interviews. The ideas are illustrated not by having an actor dress as Bowie and act out the highs and lows, but with clips of Bowie from film, video and TV appearances. And this is very much about Bowie’s ideas: the early parts of the movie cover a bit of, I guess, his philosophy of life, or his ideals or whatever. He’s a searcher, hence why he had taken so many guises in his career. From there we get into career highlights, such as his vaunted Berlin trilogy with Brian Eno and the career highs of the “Let’s Dance” era. There are a lot of virtues to this approach: Morgan’s eye for visuals is fantastic. Sometimes the movie resembles less a documentary and more an arty collage: Bowie speaks and his words are matched with images of himself, of course, but also films and events that influenced him. The idea is that the past, present and future inform each other. The rough trajectory of the film is chronological, but the songs used bounce around from era to era. There are some interesting juxtapositions here, such as Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust persona placed in a collage with Nosferatu and Un Chien Andalou.

This approach to an artist’s biography is fascinating and for sure more exciting than, but the problem is trusting the artist’s own words to explain himself. Bowie himself seems extremely thoughtful, intelligent and reflective, but the clips used here an the way they’re edited assume a kind of genius that brushes off the more human and harsh aspects of his biography. “Ah, yes,” Morgan seems to want us to think, “he just moved to Los Angeles at the exact right time to inspire one shift in his sound and then moved to Berlin to instigate another artistic triumph”.

A biography of David Bowie that ignores his drug addiction issues and late 70s flirtation with fascism (for which he apologized repeatedly for the rest of his life) is inherently dishonest, to put it bluntly. I don’t think it does anyone (not even the memory of David Bowie) any favors to ignore the artist’s vices. As much as I tire of generic music biopics, they at least have an arc beyond simple fawning. The most interesting wrinkle presented by Moonage Daydream is the way Bowie’s own interviews about, essentially, nakedly looking for a hit in “Let’s Dance” sit beside his feelings of wanting to do art with a bit more depth to it afterwards. It’s an admirable idea, but it’s not like Bowie disappeared into the 80s and 90s doing alienating, impossible music. He just… wasn’t successful, commercially or critically (for what it’s worth, I think his 1990s albums have aged extremely well and are due for a reclamation).

As a music listener and a film watcher, I’m fascinated by the arc of the artist. That’s why those with decades of eclectic work to look back on are my favorites - Bowie, sure, but Prince, Dylan, Joni, P-Funk, Elvis Costello etc. etc. etc. But it’s the highs and lows that make those arcs so interesting, and I don’t know if film can ever fully capture that. More specifically, I’m not sure a film with the approval of the artist or their estate could be brave enough to present an artist’s highs and lows. No, they gotta sell the accompanying soundtrack and sell the songs to commercials. So no, there’s no pleasing me about these things because these movies barely come close to scratching the surface of what makes these artists indelible.

[pigeontheoneandonly]

Pacing

I’m going to talk about good pacing.  Readers have often complimented me on my pacing, which I consider some of the highest praise I’ve received, because my best-known works tend to run quite long, and that presents a lot of challenges in this area.  So here’s what I’ve learned over my years of writing:

1. Something interesting must happen every single scene.  This doesn’t mean dramatic, or emphatically significant, or energetic.  It means interesting.  A bit of writing advice I see thrown around a lot states that every scene must advance either the character or the plot, and this isn’t a bad way of thinking about it if you have difficulty discerning what is interesting (and as long as in speculative fiction you remember to count the setting itself as a character for these purposes).  But what it really boils down to is every scene needs to engage the reader in such a way that they’re interested in learning more--whether that’s what happens next, a juicy bit of worldbuilding, or an intriguing character facet.  Make it good and leave the reader just a little shy of satisfied, all the time.

(And it should go without saying that the interesting bit can’t be totally desultory; you need every scene to be related in some way to what’s happening in your story and your plot as well.)

2. Emotional tone matters just as much as interest.  The stories I write are often fairly grim, full dark emotions and situations, fraught relationships, and the like.  But if all you ever give your reader is the same buffet, whether that’s fluffy light emotions, or closer to my end of the spectrum, they become fatigued and inured to the interest you’re attempting to create through these emotions.  It’s like eating pizza every night.  Even if you love pizza, at some point it becomes boring and a complete chore to keep eating it (or keep reading, in this analogy).  You need to vary your highs and lows.  You need to have unexpected twists of gloom or levity to contrast with your larger themes.  This, by the way, tends to mimic life, which is why it’s compelling.

3. Likewise, you need to balance action and inaction.  As a very basic formula, try to follow scenes or chapters where a great deal of action (considerable plot advancement, or even literal action like a battle) with scenes that are more reflective and cerebral.  Give your readers breathing room.  This doesn’t destroy tension; it relieves it just enough to get your readers ready for the next dose.  

4. Good pacing and good tension are co-dependent.  The word tension tends to conjure an emotive definition in most people, but I prefer to think of it the way we do in knitting: the tension of the yarn must be maintained to ensure each stitch is alike, and each row is the same length and even with the rest of the fabric.  Tension is what gives your story consistency and draws the reader along from start to conclusion.  Instead of increasing and relaxing tension to vary the story emotions, keep tension constant and add more stitches (more stuff going on) when you want the story to feel more intense.  This prevents the story from dragging in its “relaxed” or more contemplative phases.  You always want the reader to feel there is more to discover, more to explore, right up until the satisfying ending--and even then, ideally, you want them a little wistful they couldn’t spend more time here.

[likeastarstar]

Boredom, Disinterest, & Intimidation.

Summary: Jungkook's in that suit and he's bored and you're not impressed by much...except for him. and then you fuck him in a public restroom.

(A/N: WARNING! SMUT AHEAD! for the anon requesting striped suit jk...I got severely carried away this is so much longer than I intended...feedback is appreciated.)

masterlist.

You weren't impressed by much.

Men were too boring to be impressive most of the time. They watered their personalities down, made themselves too accessible to be deemed worth it for your effort. Basically, you thought you were better than most of them. Your friends said you should lower your standards or risk being forever alone, but you didn't really understand why that was such a bad thing. At least you liked your own company, preferring to fly solo most of the time.

That's what you were doing at the event you were at, a networking thing that your company sent you to in order to make connections in different industries your CEO was interested in. You were the go-to for this sort of thing, where you had to be coy and work a room with no commitment.

You stared at the glass in your hand, wondering how many flutes of champagne the woman standing next you had consumed. She swayed off beat to the instrumental music playing and you couldn't help but guess that it wasn't a lack of rhythm that was causing it. Someone called your name and you lifted your gaze, falling on a bulky looking man with a kind smile. You recognized him as the PR connection your company had, one who was in charge of not only your own company but several larger clients in the entertainment industry. You smiled at him easily, floating over to where he was.

"Let me introduce you to my friends, they're in the music industry." He said pleasantly, gesturing to the group of men standing beside him.

You scanned the group neutrally, recognizing them instantly. Of course you knew who they were. You wondered why you were being introduced to them but soon connected the dots when you heard they were looking to explore the possibility of expanding their tour set-ups, primarily in the technology area, an aspect your company could help with. The tallest man did most of the speaking, his warm smile and easy going humor making it easy to see why countless people were in love with him. Your eyes stuck on another member of the group however, one standing towards the back with an uninterested look on his face.

While the rest of the men looked towards you eagerly when you spoke about previous experiences with audio and performance oriented tech expansions, he stared off to the side with his hands in his pockets. You studied his figure- black and grey striped suit tailored to a tee, skimming the length of his lean body. Straight shoulders, thin waist, legs for days- his proportions were scientifically perfect. His hair was gelled and neatly parted, jet black matching the inky color of his eyes. Everything about him was unapproachable, from the bored purse of his lips to the eyebrow piercing that reflected the light in a sort of warning. Another one of the group began saying something, sparking his attention.

His eyes flickered to you, flying over you at first and then doubling back to study you more closely. He frowned slightly, blinking a couple times before realizing you were staring back at him, refusing to look away.

"Seems like they're about to start the dinner, where are you seated?" Someone asked you, causing you to tear your eyes from his.

You just happened to be seated across from the man in the striped suit, who's name you had heard a couple times but had forgotten since you didn't personally pay attention to things like that. You ignored him and the way he slouched over in his chair, pushing his hips forwards with his neck stretched to the side so his head could rest back on the chair, watching the rest of the room out of the corner of his eye as if he couldn't be bothered to interact with it himself. He was distractingly handsome, chiseled jaw cutting a sharp line through space.

You started a conversation with a woman to your left who ran a charity organization or something, the details weren't really sticking in your mind since a certain someone had decided instead of zoning out, he'd zero in on you with total focus. You turned your head slowly towards him when you couldn't take the tension you felt from seeing his gaze locked on you out of the corner of your eye anymore, the knot of anticipation only tightening when you noted his smirk.

"Do you normally stare at people?" You asked in a flat tone.

"No," He said simply. "I actually make it a point not to make eye contact with people at these sorts of things. I'm making an exception."

He leaned forward in his chair, face tilted slightly so he was looking up at you through his eyelashes. You resisted the urge to squirm in your chair- this wasn't you. You didn't get intimidated easily, you were the one doing the intimidation usually. He rolled his broad shoulders back, sitting up straight as if to let you get a better look at him.

"Don't bother," You quipped.

"Aren't you bored?" He asked, a slightly surprised expression breaking the air of neutrality around him. "Don't you want to do something fun?"

"I'm working, I don't worry about having fun while I'm on the clock." You said, rolling your eyes before refocusing on the conversation you were having before as the appetizers were served. He was right though, things like this were incredibly boring. Rarely did you ever have fun at company events. You thanked the waiter, words hitching slightly when you felt a stiff shoe glide by your heeled foot, an ankle hooking around yours brashly. You blinked and looked back towards the man in the striped suit, a neutral expression on his face other than slight lift of his eyebrow, the silver hardware of his piercing sparkling. You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth to resist saying anything, trying to stop the heat pooling towards your lap.

You looked away quickly and he laughed, it's charming silvery tone ringing in your ears in a way that only distracted you further. You pushed your foot against his unconsciously, rolling your ankle around his as you carried on listening to the conversation around. It wasn't until he pulled away from you, touch ripped away that you realized you had been so forward with your actions. You watched him rise out of his chair, body limber and lean, looking down at you with a menacing intensity. He quirked his eyebrow again and you watched him stalk off towards were you knew the bathroom of the restaurant to be.

Even his walk was distracting, the way his shoulders rolled, hands swinging slightly, practically gliding across the room.

"What were you saying?" The woman next to you asked, tapping on your shoulder.

"I," You started, still staring off in the direction he disappeared to. "I was saying that...You know, I actually will be right back, I have to make a phone call."

You got up quickly before you really knew what you were doing, pushing through the waiters still trying to serve the large room full of VIPs. You passed the hallway to the bathroom when a hand snaked out and yanked you to the side, a now familiar pair of eyes staring down at you.

"I thought you didn't want to have fun?" He asked, a small smile on his face.

"I'm making an exception," You mocked, repeating his words from earlier before kissing him brashly.

His lips were soft on yours, tongue fighting against yours for control of the kiss almost instantly. His hands smoothed down your body and pushed you into the bathroom, ass pressing against the countertop. You matched his ferocity, biting down on his lip and wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him down closer to you. He lifted you onto the countertop, hands still kneading any part of you he could get his hands on. His hand settled on the jut of your hip, breath panting out as he moved down to your neck, kissing and sucking the skin there.

"Don't fucking leave a mark," You snapped, words venomous despite your hands pulling him between your knees. You hooked your legs around his figure, sighing as he pushed a sleeve of your dress off your shoulder and bit down on the space of your skin that was previously covered, laving over the spot with tongue.

"I'll be careful," he promised, "No one will see. My name's Jungkook, by the way."

You felt a lick of heat in the pit of your stomach, something animalistic that told you to keep going, ask for more, demand it from him. You didn't bother telling him your name and he didn't ask for it, pushing a hand up your dress instead. His hand rubbed circles on your skin and you realized he had rings on, cool metal pressing into the flesh of your thigh. Your brain felt like it was fizzing out, dial tones going off instead of coherent thoughts. God, why did his hands feel so good on your body? Why was he such a good kisser? What cologne was he wearing?

"Tell me to stop," He dared, pulling his lips off of you. He rested his forehead on the top of your shoulder, hand freezing in place. You said nothing, watching instead as he tilted his head back up to you with a surprised expression.

"Don't," You mumbled, voice so quiet you'd think he didn't hear you if he didn't smile at you. It wasn't a smirk this time, not a sly little expression, no cockiness in sight. He looked...sweet. Pretty. His eyes were sparkly and his cheeks fluffed up when he smiled like this, nose crinkling slightly. You felt your heart pang and wondered what the fuck was happening to you- who the hell was this guy?

"You wanna get fucked by a stranger in a random bathroom?" He grinned, going back to the cocky motherfucker you had known all night. He stood to his full height, hand still kneading into your skin as he gazed down at you, eyes catching on your parted lips. He tilted his head and leaned in, stopping just shy of contact. You skated a hand down his body, pressing fingertips against the firm abs you could outline under the silky material of his shirt, smiling slightly when you heard his breathing stop as you dragged your palm over the crotch of his pants, outlining his hard cock with your fingernail and wrapping your hand over it. You squeezed lightly, feeling Jungkook's fingers push up your leg and pull your panties to the side, "You're interesting." He mumbled, frowning slightly.

"No, I'm not," You said flatly, just before he dragged a finger through your folds. You breathed in sharply, feeling him brush past your clit and press down lightly, hips bucking up slightly. He thrust two fingers in you suddenly and you moaned. Jungkook kissed you, muffling your noises of need with his mouth on yours. Your back arched up to him, mind completely blank as he started pumping his fingers in and out of you. "Slow-"

"No, fast." He grunted, "Gotta open your tight little pussy up if you want my cock. You do want my cock, right baby?"

You kissed him desperately, feeling his fingers split and scissor inside of your pussy, his thumb rubbing into your clit in rough motions. Nothing about what he was doing to you was gentle or soft, pushing you, stretching your limits, teasing you where he could.

"Yeah," You nodded, "Yeah, I want you to fuck me."

Your breathing became labored and you felt your chest heave as he curled his fingers, looking for a certain spot until a jab of his fingers had you spasming. He kissed you still, smirking against your lips as he angled his fingers to hit the same spot over and over until he had you cumming around his hands, wrapped around his finger like a cute little bow, willing and able to do anything he wanted you to. He was staring at you again, inky eyes locked on your face, scanning your expression as you came like he was trying to memorize it. He pulled his hand away too quickly, taking your panties with him.

Jungkook tucked your now ruined lace panties in his suit pocket and gazed at you, grinning as he unzipped his pants, "Okay, I'm gonna fuck you now."

"Okay," You said weakly, feeling your pussy spasm around nothing.

He shuffled closer to you, standing in between your legs as he pumped his cock. You peered down, wanting to see what his cock looked like before it entered you. Shit- he was huge. Maybe he should've used another finger. You watched him reach in his wallet and pull out a condom, tearing it open quickly before rolling it over his cock. You bit down on your lip nervously, realizing how much this was about to sting.

"What? Nervous? Wanna stop?" Jungkook asked, tilting your head back up to look at him with a finger underneath your chin.

You locked eyes with him, eyes warm and inviting. His lips were flushed pink and had some of your lipgloss smudged on them, cheeks flushed and a glow on his skin. He was really pretty like this. He was just pretty in general. No, you definitely didn't want to stop.

"No," You said simply, "I want you."

He smiled and nodded shortly, lining himself up with your entrance and pushing in with one smooth motion, "What pretty girl wants, pretty girl gets."

You laughed shakily, leaning into the slight burn of his cock splitting you open, "Whatever I want?"

"Whatever you want," He nodded, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment before starting to move his hips, cock pulling and pushing against your pussy walls. "Shit- you feel really fucking good around me."

You moaned at his words, feeling his hips snap back, pulling his cock almost completely out of you before slamming back in. You were glad you were sitting on the countertop, you weren't sure your legs were working at the moment, curled tightly around Jungkook's body. His hands gripped your thighs, pulling your dress up and out of the way so he could watch your pussy take him, liking the wet noises that came along with how turned on you were.

"So wet, you have a crush on me or something?" He joked, laughing in a dry sort of way. You rolled your eyes and gripped a hand over his bicep, digging your nails into the muscle there underneath his suit jacket.

His thrusts quickened and he released one of your hips to slip his fingers around where your pussy was stretched around his cock, rubbing the folds there, adding stimulation that ripped the air from your body, making your head spin, body beginning to float away to nothingness.

"You're so fucking sexy," You moaned, gazing at him and the look of total concentration on his face as he fucked you into the bathroom countertop. His brow furrowed, sweat dripping down his face, pink tongue sticking out between his lips slightly. There was no way there was another guy on the planet like him- no one was this attractive.

You saw him blush and look up towards you nervously, suddenly shy to make eye contact, "Yeah? Y-you are too."

It was your time to smirk, rolling your body onto his. You felt his fingers latch onto your clit, rubbing incessantly. You clenched your pussy around him and he groaned, keening over and smashing his face into the crook of your neck, breath stuttering. He changed his pace suddenly, rolling his hips onto yours with an even faster speed you didn't know was possible. He was precise, pushing on the sensitive spot in your pussy with his fingers on your clit matching, pulsing, squeezing, tugging sharply.

"Your pussy felt so good cumming around my fingers," He mumbled against your skin, "Wanna feel it around my cock too, can you do that for me?"

"Okay, only because you asked so nicely." You smiled, feeling his hand squeeze your side in response. He bit down on the same spot of your shoulder he did earlier and that was it- you were unraveling around him in an uncontrollable way. You whined out his name over and over, triggering his own release as his hips finally faltered, shoving against yours for the last time. He stilled in you, moaning against your skin in that silvery tone that rang out like a bell in your ears. You felt him empty into the condom that separated yourself from him, feeling oddly angry that he had worn one to begin with.

You had just gotten fucked hard and were already wondering what it would feel like to have him do it again without a condom, what it would feel like to be stuffed with his cum. You squeezed around him unintentionally, getting turned on again at the thought. He winced, feeling oversensitive and pulled out of you slowly. His hands were shaking slightly, pulling off the condom and tying it closed before throwing it away in the trashcan.

You pulled your dress down as you caught your breath, floating back down to earth. Your eyes fell on the clock- you had been gone for 20 minutes.

"I should've been back at the table already," You noted, staring at the clock.

Jungkook tucked himself back into his pants and fixed his appearance, frowning at the mirror, "I should've kept fucking you for longer."

You laughed and ran a hand through your hair, "Maybe I should just go home- it'll be suspicious if we both go back at this point and I've made enough conversation for the night."

Jungkook stood in front of you, looking too happy but otherwise rid of all evidence of being freshly fucked, "Give me your number at least, I want to see you again."

You pursed your lips and debated it for a moment, staring at the hopeful look on his face. Normally, you'd say no. But something about him...

"Fine," You said nonchalantly. "But don't expect anymore exceptions from me. I'm hard work."

"I'm okay with that," He grinned, pulling his phone out quickly.

You really hoped that he was because he officially impressed you.

[castielcommunism]

I don’t mean this in a “I want to start fights with people” way, but I genuinely don’t get the strain of argument on here that the show itself is especially punishing towards Dean or that he’s treated unfairly compared to other characters.

Like usually the order of operations goes: someone will say dean is the POV character of the show, and his interpretation of events, his emotional state, and his needs are privileged above other characters. Someone will then respond and say this isn’t true and basically argue the opposite, citing character assassination (either deliberate or accidental depending on who you ask), especially in dabb era, as a big source for this argument. Like, he’s written as intentionally bad or malicious in a way that is OOC and casts him in a negative light by virtue of him doing XYZ awful thing. So he’s “punished” by the writers by being written as out of character.

And so like I said I don’t really get this framing very much? At least, when I say “supernatural is The Dean Show” I mean basically that - he is privileged above other characters. He gets more screen time, more character-centric arcs and episodes, more nuance, etc. This is especially true when comparing him to Cas, but I think it also holds true when comparing him to Sam (and I don’t think saying “Sam has nothing to do and very little personality in the later seasons” is a generally controversial statement? Like I love Sam but I agree with this, he’s given very little to do and it sucks).

And Supernatural does regularly punish its characters! Nobody can be happy. They get Mary back, she dies. They get Cas back, he dies and comes back and dies again. All their friends die, either because of Sam and Dean’s choices or by pure tragic circumstances. Jack dies. Dean has a breakthrough moment in season 3 where he ostensibly realises his father is an asshole and regrets devoting so much of his time and energy to him, only for the brothers to go on to praise their dad for virtually the rest of the show. These guys are not allowed to have long term happiness or catharsis. They are not allowed to grow.

So where my confusion lies is like, all the main characters on spn perpetually have a bad time. They’re all punished, both fairy and not, for their actions (Cas especially, he’s always failing and fucking up, which forms the basis of a lot of conflict in the show - godstiel and casifer to name a couple big ones). I think it’s also true that Dean is generally proven correct by his own assumptions, and when he’s not (ie, him thinking Jack is a monster for example), there’s no real reckoning moment where he’s like oh shit I just did this awful thing and was wrong, I need to go reflect on my actions and then become a better person. People might call him out for his shitty behaviour but nothing really comes of it. Like I can’t really watch spn without noticing that Dean is the de facto protagonist and occupies a special space in the narrative that other main characters don’t. He also holds power over Sam and Cas - he is almost always in the driver’s seat, both literally in the Impala and narratively in the story. There’s even a post on here joking that we need to invent a version of the bechdel test to measure how many conversations in the show don’t reference or relate back to Dean somehow.

And then ALSO another important thing is that like I don’t hate Dean for this lol. I just think it’s boring and bad writing. There are a lot of very good posts on here talking about how the show would be better if he were a deuteragonist. Asking how the show would shake out if he were de-prioritised and we got more arcs dedicated to exploring Cas and Sam is, I think, a genuinely interesting question, but you have to accept the premise that Dean is privileged in the narrative in order to ask that question.

So tl;dr I guess my point is like, every guy on spn is punished and tortured by the narrative, and Dean is the principle character of the show that every character arc eventually bends towards. And I think because of that, as much as his suffering is highlighted more and given more space (because he is, again, the protagonist - we don’t see Sam crying alone in a field because Mary died, for example), he’s also given more opportunities to be correct and is generally favoured on a narrative level even if the text of the show is punishing him for doing something. So I don’t really get what people mean when they say “Dean is unfairly punished” above and beyond the general punishment that happens on the show to every character