#and this is how I've found a way to empathize with them

[ao3commentoftheday]

A few months ago, I posted about the term "proshipper" and how it had changed over time from meaning "someone who is in favour of the idea of shipping characters in the media they consume" to meaning "someone who is probably a real life abuser of children."

To say that there has been some definitional drift would be an understatement.

Anyway, I posted basically the same thing on tiktok a few weeks ago and today I got a comment thanking me for sharing and the commentered ended with the statement, "being an 'anti' sounds exhausting."

I've been (over)thinking about why 'antis' are they way they are for a long time now, and this really does hit the nail on the head for me. People who are involved in 'anti' culture probably are exhausted. All the time.

I've never been a part of that area of fandom, but from an outside perspective it seems like it requires:

constant vigilance over your own public behaviours

distrust in your friends because they might turn on you if you ever did something they considered "problematic"

fear that something you enjoy might actually make you a "bad person"

a near-constant state of emotional distress - either anger at what others in fandom are doing, moral outrage that is being harnessed towards harassment, shame over your own thoughts and feelings...

a need to police your own thoughts to ensure you aren't accidentally shipping something "wrong" or liking an "abusive" character etc.

constantly shifting goal posts for what is deemed acceptable or cancellable within your own community

constantly changing definitions of terms to suit the agenda of the loudest person in the room

immense pressure to abandon people you are close to if they are deemed unsuitable by rest of the group

feeling like you're surrounded by literal child abusers with nowhere to turn that's safe

If that doesn't sound physically, emotionally, and mentally draining then I don't know what does. Anger and outrage can be like a burst of adrenaline, but the thing is: anger and outrage, like adrenaline, don't last forever and when they run out you feel empty and burnt out.

So why do people go down this route? That's a great question, and I don't know the answer. There are probably various reasons, depending on who you ask and that person's particular background, but a lot of it seems to centre on the idea of control.

Controlling yourself. Controlling the people around you. Controlling strangers. Controlling the internet. Only one of these is possible, and if you don't know which one then take a second and try again.

It's not entirely shocking that a very controlling thought pattern is gaining in noise, if not popularity, right now. We're still in a global pandemic. There's political and economic uncertainty everywhere. Violence and discrimination are at extremely high levels. It feels like the world is going to shit sometimes, and like everything is out of control. And if you're a teenager, you have even less control over your life than the rest of us do.

I don't like the behaviours of 'antis' and I don't share their beliefs. But I do feel badly for them. I hope they find healthier ways to gain a feeling of control, and I hope they get some rest.

[emmafrostyyy]

y'all sleeping on Astarion/Lae'zel bc this moment is so...the way the flippant demeanor drops and he doesn't hesitate to call her out for sticking with her version of Cazador like their relationship is so underrated fr...

sitting down writing this bullshit like let me peel it like an onion a bit and elaborate why this pairing is fascinating to me

It's really interesting how during the most cathartic, life-altering moment in Astarion's questline, the reactions of the other companions are more about the moral wrongness/guilt of sacrificing innocent lives. Lae'zel doesn't do that and instead relates to his hurt.

She knows what's he's feeling, the lack of control, the unfairness of being powerless for too long. This is a woman who just found out her entire life purpose was built on lies, discarded and hunted by her own people after outliving her usefulness, and groomed to basically die for an insane power-hungry lich queen. She knows all too well that power isn't always real freedom. Her first instinct is to empathize with Astarion to steer him away from his hate and resentment.

Astarion/Lae'zel is so interesting to me because they're such a classic "can we make each other worse or make a better person out of the other?".

They both have genuine appreciation for violence and respect each other's ruthlessness. Astarion was used as a weapon of seduction while Lae'zel was of warfare. Sex with people is meaningless and not real intimacy for them, and while both have little understanding/experience of interpersonal relationships beyond the physical, they still feel and love very deeply. They have no frame of reference for things like friendship and warmth, but they badly want all of that and more, even if they don't know it yet.

In-game they can sleep with each other, which is basically the foundation of the normal Tav/Astarion romance. Lae'zel saw him during combat and got horny, who knows. Astarion who's used to luring people with his charms, takes up Lae'zel's blunt offer because she's a strong hardened warrior that can provide protection and be a worthy ally, and he doesn't know how to say no. Navigating the complications between one who wants to be seen beyond as a sex object, and one who comes from a totally alien culture with no concept of love/family/connections and only sex is honestly really compelling to me. It's a transactional, mutually beneficial thing with no emotional expectations. Once you get past the skeevy rockiness of their early relationship, I really like the idea of them slowly seeing something past the exterior and realizing they may have harshly misjudged the other, an unspoken friendship blooms, and in comes the realization that they are essentially loners longing for kindness and a comforting touch in the most desperate of situations.

Lae'zel is prideful, direct, has no sense of courtship talk, and doesn't hold back her thoughts the slightest--she's not sweet/agreeable and what you see is really what you get, which I imagine would be disarming for Astarion who's used to vacuous flattery and has difficulty trusting others. But she's also insanely protective, passionate, loyal, and an initiator-- every romance scene is triggered by her first and she's always showing effort towards her relationships, which would mesh well with Astarion who does need someone to nudge him.

She doesn't purposely suppress her feelings, she's just simply at loss at how to express them sometimes due to her wildly different upbringing. She stops the sparring match you agree to and an easy vulnerability slips instantly out of her: "I don't want to hurt you. I want to protect you, and for you to protect me." and "Thus far I've taunted you, devoured you, battled you. Now I want more than anything to soothe you." are romantic as fuck and Astarion of all people really needs to hear that tbh.

Astarion is also someone who struggles with reinforcing his boundaries, and a key theme in Lae'zel's romance is that she encourages and wants you to challenge her and learn to stand your ground. It's not gentlest method, but hey, relationships are about having to make an effort to learn each other's language.

I think he also would take pleasure "educating her on the matters of Fay-run" (I believe there's a whole banter with him teasing her and teaching her pet names) and would get a kick out of coaxing Lae'zel out of her shell with her shyness at showing public affection, and making her blush. Also it simply would be fucking funny to see Astarion who's used to easy seduction, trying to pass a persuasion check just to get a smooch and generally having to work to earn regular kisses from Lae'zel lmfaooo

Lae'zel also initially struggles to see her chains as chains. When she learns about Vlaakith's betrayal, she copes instantly through denial and shuts it down. Astarion is NOT having it and calls her out, he knows her well enough to recognize that she would value blunt honesty above all.

I imagine he also despises her lack of self-preservation, the way her entire identity is tied to duty and being in service of others, and doesn't understand her desire to still help/liberate the people that want her dead and are hunting her down. He wants to make this duty-bound soldier realize that looking out for herself, and putting herself first may not be the worst thing in the world.

They're so similar to each other but are also polar opposites in some ways that make a more equal, balanced romance I think. It's not a simple, one-sided, feel-good "she/he can fix her/him" fantasy because both of them have to earn each other's love, actually cut through the other's flaws, and actively motivate each other to be better versions of themselves.

They're not at all the other's ideal guiding hand. It's rough, jagged, and imperfect, but that's how healing goes. It's so far from being the healthiest relationship -- but even if their belief systems differ, their moral compass does often align. I imagine it's a slight relief for them to have a partner where there would be less shame and judgment when they expectedly, occasionally slip up and fall into their bad habits.

Also, man, the "You showed me the betweens and beyonds. Beyond war and peace, beyond passion and obsession, most importantly, you showed me freedom.", "First you were my wound, now you were my cure.", "But you saw something else in me - someone else I could be. Someone who could break the cycle of power and terror that started centuries ago.." lines really hit hard when applied to them.

Of course, they can also make each other worse, feed into the other's negative traits that will bring out the worst part of themselves. It's this duality of their pairing that is very interesting to explore, the way it can steer in either direction because it's an intense, fraught relationship at its core.

[a-sip-of-milo]

NPD Resources Masterlist

[BPD]

The official resources masterlist for NPD. Includes all the links I've shared in the past and stuff I haven't.

Any posts I've linked about supporting those with NPD have been put in the misc section because I do not want to take away from what this post is really about, which is helping people with NPD, not the people around them.

Diagnostic criteria

NPD diagnostic criteria, rewritten by someone who has it

Official diagnostic criteria

An explanation of the diagnostic criteria

Recovery resources FOR the narcissist

NPD recovery resources

How to find therapy for NPD, common types of therapy and signs of an abusive/toxic therapist

Narcissist supply

What is narc supply?

Things that can give a narcissist supply

NPD stigma

The perception of NPD symptoms vs. how a narcissist might actually experience them

Why those with NPD have a hard time seeking help (spoiler alert: it's not because they're unaware)

A plea from someone with NPD (and some resources debunking common misconceptions)

Narcissism is not abusive / abuse is abusive

Debunking common myths on NPD

Common disproven myths about NPD

Miscellaneous

How to support someone with NPD

NPD Carrd (What is NPD, dpt skills and self-help)

Unravelling the connection: npd as a trauma response

NPD terminology (do's and dont's)

NPD safe blogs

@empath-abuse-awareness

@enigma-in-reality

@loverofmirage

@the-npd-culture-is

@nicepersondisorder

@theegosystem

@mischiefmanifold

NPD positivity so you don't have to go looking

Reblog to kiss a narcissist on the forehead

Reblog to tell your local narcissist that they're the best ever

Happy NPD appreciation day

Positivity for systems with NPD

Be normal about narcissists unless it's to give them love

NPD should be EPD (Epic Personality Disorder)

Of course I have a praise kink, I have NPD

Narcissists are so beautiful and handsome and wonderful

Positivity for narcissists who like sex

I love my narcissists

Aromantic narcissists are amazing

Narcissists I love you

Easy ways to spot a narcissist (it's not what you think <;3)

Narcissists deserve to be loved

As usual, if something needs to be deleted because it's wrong/comes from a toxic author/etc. please let me know. I tried to look on Google but all I found was ableist shit, so these are all found by your fellow narcissists on tumblr :)

Edit: If you have any resources, please send them to me through an ask or DM and i'll check it out/add it!

[zerosuitsammie]

If I can take a moment to share my experience as a trans woman on the internet

My experience is by no means unique, it's just one experience in the plethora of trans feminine experiences and not unique to only tumblr. Though, I'll mostly talk about what I've experienced here. In the light of recent events, the reaction of "the ceo," and the comments he contributed regarding dog pile harassment; I simply wish to share my experiences that I have had to juxtapose the dynamic of his statements against a lived experience.

This account started as a way to document my social transition and eventually my journey with HRT. Tumblr had always had a large lgbtqia+ community. The queer people here inspired me and gave me hope. What I didn't know, but soon learned, is that there were people here who hated me for being trans. Being early in my transition I was a prime target. TERF groups would plan raids on my account. What this entailed was: rebloging my selfies into circles that would say the most vile things about me, threaten to kill, tell me I was ugly, tell me that everyone I knew thought I was a joke, I was a monster, my family hated me, that I should kill myself, they'd download and edit my photos into caricatures or depictions of violence. They would fill my ask box with hundreds of asks detailing how they'd kill me, call me slurs, describe the ways that I should kill myself, and pretty much everything else I mentioned above with the reblogs. Their words were carefully curated to try and break me, break my spirit, break my will to live. I tried reporting it. But it was impossible to keep up with, and like many others I saw no real response. Eventually I learned that I had to block all of them. 100's of blogs, eventually 1000's of blogs. My block list these days is incredibly extensive. I had to wade through their blogs, traverse sickening hate speech and imagery to eliminate entire circles of people harassing me. I became jaded to the hate speech, hardened to it. But mind you, I shouldn't have had to expose myself to all of this just to be at peace here amongst my community. I received no help, I was left to my own devices to protect myself. The people who hurt me never saw consequences. It was painful, it was unfair, and no one else should have to put the hours upon hours of effort and exposure to hate in to protect themselves like I did. But again my experience is not unique.

I have had to repeat this process of preemptive blocking periodically once a new circle discovers me. Blocking them all before they can start the process of hate all over again. A process of hate that seems to be hitting my community with rapidly increasing fervor as of late.

I've seen others experience far worse than me. The TERF circles will hunt down their personal information and doxx them. Expose their home address, telephone numbers, names of their family members. I can't begin to imagine the terror my queer siblings must feel when someone tells then that they want to murder them all while showing them that they know where you live. This is not a new thing, not a rare tactic, it happens. And we've all seen the news stories of trans people being murdered by people who planned it and were vocal about it.

I know this is depressing. And it doesn't reflect all of my experiences. I've had wonderful experiences here, met amazing people, made close friends, found inspiration, found hope. I found a community.

And it's my community, and I never want to let it go.

I do have fear that making this statement will get me banned. But, I wanted to say it. I wanted it to exist in the world so that everyone who doesn't know our experiences has a chance to understand and with luck empathize.

I'll part on these words and hope for the best both for myself and for every member of the community.

[lili863]

Yes, all yours.

AN: Welp , I am finally writing for Sebastian Sallow. This was fun to write knowing how his personality is.

Warning: MDNI, SMUT, 18+, Enemies to lovers, DARK, DOM! SEB

TW: Slight Dubcon, a little blood involved (literally)

Sebastian Sallow.

The most charming boy I've met, he's witty, fun loving and just such an adorable flirty dork. In fact if I would have asked him to court me if only...he wasn't such an insufferable, arrogant, hard headed human being that I have ever had the displeasure of knowing.

He's a walking contradiction to better put it.

Just a week ago we were laughing and making our way to the library after sneaking out of detention and then in a span of 7 days I found myself firmly entrenched in his shitlist when he figured out I was communicating with a goblin in my investigation about Ranrok and Victor Rookwood.

Since then, it's been an onslaught of cocky remarks, disdainful glances, and thinly-veiled jabs. Oh, the joy of camaraderie among wizards.

I could tolerate all of it, really. After all, navigating the intricate social dynamics of Hogwarts has become something of a specialty of mine. But things took a turn for the worse when he had the audacity to label me as ignorant and then failed to extend even a semblance of an apology.

Initially, I empathized with his frustration and understood his misplaced anger. I made excuses for his behavior, attempting to rationalize his actions. But my patience wore thin faster than I anticipated.

Merlin, if I had known how stubborn he was going to be I would have given up hope of reconciliation a long time ago.

And it all started right after I had convinced myself that perhaps extending the olive branch should fall upon my shoulders.

I found him by the great hall. There he stood among a few of our friends: Natty, Garreth, Ominis, and Amit. A small smile crept onto my lips at the sight, hoping that this apology, however undeserved, would set things right. But just as I neared earshot, his words struck like a dagger.

"Can you believe her? The audacity. She parades around as if she's the font of all knowledge just because she's the apple of every professor's eye when she's barely scratched the surface of our world".

The words hit me like a ton of bricks as I stood there shocked.

"Sebastian, perhaps you're being a tad harsh," Natty interjected, her voice tinged with a hint of reproach. "She's many things, but ignorant isn't one of them."

Nods of agreement rippled through the small gathering, Ominis adding his voice with a weary sigh. "I'm inclined to agree. You're letting your temper get the best of you."

Sebastian's sneer sliced through the tension like a blade. "Of course you would agree, Ominis," he retorted, the bitterness palpable in his tone.

It dawned on me then that this matter held more significance for him than I had realized. I knew he was angry with me, but to this extent?

"Seems she's got all of you wrapped around her little finger, doesn't it?" he said, his gaze flicking between them with contempt.

"That's enough," I interjected sharply, drawing all eyes to me, including Sebastian's.

"You know, I would have taken your words more seriously if you had the guts to say them to my face," I challenged, closing the distance between us with purpose.

Sebastian turned to face me fully, his eyes zeroing in on mine. His deep frown transformed to a mocking smile playing on his lips. "Well, here I am, aren't I? Besides, your back is just as good a place as any for such heartfelt conversations, considering that's all I was faced with the last time."

I pressed my lips together, determined not to let his cutting words pierce through my resolve, though I could feel their sting like a sharp slap across the face. Glancing over my shoulder, I noticed the group behind us watching with wide eyes.

Damn it. The last thing I needed was to turn this into a spectacle, but Sebastian was making it impossible to keep a level head.

"Funny, because I was about to say the same. Grow up, Sallow. I could handle you being a jerk any day, but immature as well?" I lowered my voice, drawing closer so our conversation couldn't be overheard. "We both know that everything I'm doing is for the greater good, including your sister."

That smile disappeared as quickly as it came, as a shadow crept over his features.

Slowly, deliberately, he closed the space between us, each step a calculated move. Startled at his demeanor I started backing up otherwise I was sure our bodies would've collided.

"Don't you dare pretend you're doing this for the good of everyone, especially my sister, when you're the one cozying up to a damn goblin."

Backed against the wall, I felt the weight of his presence looming over me, and it was precisely that moment I realized how much of a threat he could have been if he wasn't someone I knew.

He disregarded the stares of onlookers, his focus solely on me as if nothing else existed in the world.

I never saw this look on him. So scary. And so unforgiving.

My nostrils flared, and I clenched my jaw to tyring to ignore everyone gathering around us "But I am. And whether you like it or not, Lodgok is not the same. I understood your anger at first, truly, but enough is enough" My voice now ringing with authority I continued "Now back off".

He didn't move a muscle. I swear if looks could kill, I'd be 6 feet beneath the dirt right now.

With a glare, I pushed off the wall when his hand suddenly planted firmly against the wall besides my head, stopping me effectively.

His eyes darker then before trailed over my face and down to my lips "You know"... I shivered at the low timbre of it.

" For a so called prodigy you sure do run away a lot. Especially when your one marching in here telling me to man up".

My resolve wavered for a moment, but I steadied myself, meeting his gaze head-on. "Careful, Sallow," I warned, my voice laced with defiance. "Just because I choose my battles doesn't mean I'm afraid to fight."

Sebastian's lips curled into a menacing grin, a small scoff escaping his lips.

Amidst the murmurs of the gathering crowd, I turned my gaze towards them, trying to ignore his taunts.

"Well, while you're busy choosing your battles, you're losing the ones that matter"

Damn it, why is everyone here—suddenly, a calloused hand gripped my jaw, forcefully turning it back to face him.

"With me."

I sucked in a sharp breath, my heart pounding in my chest, eyes trailing back and forth between his.

He really did have a way of making every encounter feel like a fight for dominance and now I knew I was trapped. "Back off Sallow, now".

"No."

"I said back off"! With a hard shove I pushed him away from me, earning gasps and exclaims from the crowd gathering around us, all excited to see what was going on.

A sinister chuckle escaped his lips, his head thrown back in complete amusement, while I stood there, flushed with embarrassment. Whether it was from the fact that he barely moved an inch or from the proximity of his presence, I couldn't tell. He on the other hand reveled in the attention, knowing full well that I despised being the center of such spectacle.

But I wasn't about to let him see me falter. "You want a battle? Fine. Since you're so desperate to get on my bad side"!

A mocking nod was all he could offer at my not so threatening threat "Bad side, huh? And what does that entail?"

"Mopping the floor with your arse in the courtyard, for all to see. Perhaps then I can show you just how well being a teacher's pet pays off." I spat.

"Well, let me tell you what my bad side entails, since you're already on it."

I huffed, a sarcastic smile playing on my lips as I shifted my weight, a hand on my hip. "Do enlighten me."

As tension crackled between us, Sebastian's breaths came slow and measured, the controlled rhythm of his chest betraying the intensity of his emotions as he stood before me.

"When I emerge victorious from this duel," he whispered, his voice dripping with controlled menace, "You won't forget it. I'll ensure it. And it won't just end there. I'll make your life a living hell, and believe me, darling, it won't be a pleasant experience."

My heart dropped, and my hands fell to my sides as I looked up at him in shock. "Sebastian..."

Maybe it was just my imagination, but a flicker of something passed by his face. His gaze softened, but his face remained expressionless.

"Do you really think you can just come into my life and pretend to care about everything? To care about my sister and then just dump it back in my face, as if all the things we went through together meant nothing?"

I shook my head, my eyes wide as saucers, but before the words could come out of my mouth, he beat me to it. "You'll regret it." Cedarwood and pine filled my senses as he stepped closer. "I'll make sure of it."

Speechless. That was what I was. Turning back around, he faced our group of friends, all of whom were confused, and started walking back towards them.

"Tomorrow after classes, tell Lucas I'll be there at 5," he said. He really was going to duel me.

"Oh, and..." He turned back around, and the smirk on his face irked me. "Bring plenty of Wiggenwald, darling." My stomach churned, and I felt nauseous. I wasn't afraid to duel him, but now, I am not so sure. This was a much bigger deal to him then I thought it would be. And considering this involved his sister... maybe I underestimated the weight of it all.

And that smile on his face... the normalcy after that terrifying expression... it was as unsettling as it was unexpected. And I was going to have to face the full wrath of it tomorrow...

______________________

"Bombarda"!

Sparks flew as spells clashed in midair, casting dazzling lights and shadows across the courtyard. I dodged and weaved, my movements being fluid and controlled, but his relentless barrage of spells were uncannily precise.

There he stood, a calm look to his face as his spells were coming faster and more ferocious with each passing moment.

It's come to my attention as soon as this duel started that I might be royally screwed. Along with the insomnia I had suffered last night and eating next to nothing in the last 36 hours I was in a bad shape.

But what really threw me off was that he had dramatically improved from the last time I dueled him.

In fact he was arguably one of the best duelers in this school at the moment. I am, ashamed to say, it was more challenging with him then anyone I've encountered in my missions, including the trials.

Though in my trials I was fighting knights, not a actual human being so, I cant just use my ancient magic to spear a lighting through his head.

With gritted teeth, I unleashed a wave of fiery infernos, the flames dancing and twisting towards Sebastian with menacing intent. The crowd Oohs and aahs only got louder and more excited at my display of magic.

Too bad it only lasted about 3 seocnds before he countered with a powerful Shield Charm, the flames dissipating against the barrier with a hiss.

A surge of panic washed over me as he unleashed a dark hex, the ancient magic stirring within me in response. With a desperate effort, I summoned a powerful shield to deflect the attack.

As the spell collided with my shield, I felt the impact reverberate through my entire being, threatening to shatter my resolve. I staggered, barely managing to stay on my feet, disbelief etched into every line of my face.

Sebastian stood there, his lips slightly curling at my reaction.

He knew.

That would have been impossible to counter if it hadn't been for my ancient magic.

I heaved for breath, my chest tight with apprehension as I watched the young slytherin, seeing the powerful dark aura radiate off of him like smoke.

Shit...

He just flung a dark hex at me as if the very notion of it being forbidden never crossed his mind.

He stepped close enough for me to hear him say "Did you ever learn that while being a teacher pet"?

I growled, gripping my wand tight. I did not go through trials involving deadly knights, goblins and trolls to lose to an egotisical boy.

"Is this really how you wanna play Sallow"? I sneered.

Sebastian predatory eyes swept over me as I ignored the tightening feeling in my stomach. His tongue flicked out to wet his lips in anticipation.

"You know exactly how I play fifth year". He purred.

With a swift incantation, I conjured a dazzling array of illusions, each one more intricate than the last.

To my utter joy Sebastian's eyes widened in surprise as he struggled to discern the real me from the phantoms that surrounded him.

But he was quick to recover, his own spells flying fast and furious as he sought to break through my defenses. Bolts of lightning crackled through the air, sending shockwaves rippling across the courtyard as our magic clashed in a spectacular display of power.

The crowd's cheers and gasps melded into a deafening cacophony, but amidst the chaos, I could only focus on the piercing ringing in my ears. I gritted my teeth, my eyes narrowing as I prepared to unleash my most powerful spell yet. With a flick of my wand and a whispered incantation, I summoned a whirlwind of energy that engulfed Sebastian and everyone else in a blinding vortex of light.

Everyone gasped covering their eyes and as the brilliance faded, I braced myself for the next onslaught, but nothing could have prepared me for what came next

Suddenly I yelp, feeling the tip of a cold wand pressed to my neck and a warm yet menacing presence press against my back.

To my utter horror, Sebastian stood behind me out of nowhere, wrapping his arm around my waist, keeping me perfectly still.

Butterflies erupted in my stomach, unleashing a wave of blood to my core. It's almost laughable, the way fear grips me now, rendering me hesitant to face him. I just know what hes going to look like, and I am not sure I could take it.

I try to cast something as his lips brush against my ear, and he whispers "Expelliarmus".

My wand flies out of my hand instantly, bouncing on the ground before rolling away as the crowd watched in stunned silence.

Beads of sweat rolled down my forehead as I watched my wand disappear into the distance. And then it hits me.

Fuck.

How could I forget.

I taught him how to apparate last week...

_____________________

"Sebastian, please," I pleaded, struggling to keep pace with his brisk stride. Every two steps felt like a hurdle, but his iron grip on my arm prevented me from face-planting afterward.

"You've won, alright," I conceded, feeling defeated.

With a forceful tug, he yanked me forward and pressed me against the wall, eliciting a grunt from me.

"And yet, you're still defending a goblin," venom dripped from his words, saturating the air with its malevolence.

I hadn't known he was capable of such intense hatred. Part of it, I suspected, had something to do with his dalliance in the dark arts.

Melting into the wall did nothing as Sebastian stepped in to close the distance.

"He's provided more information than any other creature I've encountered, Sebastian. He's the reason I can move forward in this investigation." I pleaded.

"Yeah, and how do you know it's not all a lie?" he retorted sharply.

"You're acting as if no one else, or any other creature, hasn't lied to me before. How is it any different if a goblin does?" I shot back, trying to maintain my composure.

"You know why!" he exploded, pushing against me, his frustration palpable.

Ragged breaths escaped me as I struggled to remain steady. His hard abdomen was smashed against mine with no disregard for personal space. I was caged.

"I understand your anger, Seb. But only to an extent. Not all goblins are bad, just like not all humans are good. Victor Rookwood is scum, yet there are trusted relationships with all kinds of creatures and humans."

With a scoff like laugh, his fingers began to trace its way down my cheek, "You're adorable, living in your little fantasy world. But reality is much harsher than your dreams."

I let out frustrated grunt but before I could respond I felt his wand press against the side of the my lower thigh. "Goodness know mine is hell, your precious goblins saw to that when they decided my sister should be 'seen and not heard'"

With a hitched breath I felt him raise his wand, sliding the smooth wood closer and closer to core.

Oh.my.goodness.

It was like my brain shut down as I realized what was happening.

I squeezed my eyes trying to concentrate on the conversation, a very important conversation.

"I am sorry Sebastian. I-I really am, I am most definitely not defending all goblins here, especially the ones who cursed Anne-"

"Oh yes you are. You even fought me for it". A cruel grin spread across his lips.

I started to step on my tippy toes instinctively to avoid the thin wood making it way under my skirt.

"You'll never understand will you"? His unsettling voice rattled me and thats when a tinge of fear seeped into my brain. This was not the Sebastian I knew.

"Seb..." My voice tremebled.

The tip of his wand disappeared under my skirt until I jumped with gasp when the tip pressed firmly on my core.

"You betrayed me".

I gasped, arching back, my hands shooting straight for his in an attempt to stop him as he began to move the wand up my clothed slit.

"I-I didn't-"

Through quick glances, I could see him observing my reactions without a hint of shame. I squeezed my eyes shut, whimpering at the sensation as the tip of his wand halted atop my clit before he started twirling it.

Despite my tightening grip on his hand, he remained unmoved. All I could do was throw my head back with a cry, feeling a tight knot forming in my stomach

"Seb s-stop" I whimpered.

"Are you sure you want me too"? His cocky tone showed now remorse as he watched me fall apart.

"Tell me the truth," his lips pressed on my to my cheek. "You wanted this from the day you met me didn't you"?

"W-what? NO-"

"Thats why you did what you did. Because pissing me off was the only way to get my attention" He chuckled. But it was hardly humorous.

I wanted to slap him, but my legs were shaking, my own wetness beginning to drip down my thighs.

His wand dropped instantly, rolling away from us. Panting, I thought maybe this was the end of it until his hand dove beneath my skirt, forcibly making its way down my underwear.

Gasping, I clutched his collar for dear life, feeling his calloused hand slide across my slit, rubbing my soaking cunt. As if my dignity wasn't hanging by a thread, my hips started to roll on their own, meeting his fingers.

"Ahhgh-Seb"!

Thats when his other hand swung around to grab to my ass and squeezed a handful of it. Hard. "Look at this"

I faced him finally. A smug grin draped over his face.

"You act all righteous but in the back of your mind all you wanted was a good fuck"

Suddenly, all sensations within my body halted. Without a second thought, my hand connected with his cheek, the sound of a slap reverberating through the dark hall.

His cheek swung the other way as he backed off slightly. I stood there, breathing hard, eyes wide, and clenching my thighs. If he thought I would just stand there and endure his vulgarity, he had another thing coming.

A small bruise formed at the corner of his lip, where a hint of blood emerged. However, what made me tense up, gripping the wall behind me, was his gaze slowly returning to mine—dark and hungry—as his tongue darted out to lick his lips over the bruise with a smirk

Clenching my jaw, I gritted, "You're a bastard."

Then I see the glint in his eyes

He charges towards me, "Well, if I'm a bastard, then you're my slut."

His lips crashed onto mine, pinning me against the wall. I groaned, attempting to navigate the kiss, but I couldn't keep up. His lips switched angles every few seconds, exploring every inch of me in a frenzy. His chest pressed against mine, his hands diving under my thighs, pushing me further into the wall as he devoured me.

I couldn't push him away, even if my life depended on it—which now it definitely did as I struggled to breathe. With no choice, I pulled my head back, opening my mouth to breathe, but he shoved his tongue in.

I whimpered breathing him in as forcifully as he made me. It was dizzying it, if he didn;t keep me upright I was sure I was going to fall from lack of oxygen. His finger went back to my gushing core as he slipped a finger in, pumping it rapidly. I pulled back gripping his jaw with a moan, barely able to stand right as he finger me harshly

Sebastian lips moved down to my neck pressing searing kisses "Your so wet baby" He murmered against my skin.

Then he brought his head up, pupil exploded with lust. I was sure I looked the same too hazy from the pleasure he giving me.

"Give me a taste huh"?

Nothing was registering in my mind. "Wha-"

Before I could finish, he finger, drove out of me with an audible pop before he yanked my panties down.

He fell to his knees, and without hesitation, his head disappeared under my skirt. Then the most startling sound escaped my mouth as I felt his warm tongue envelop my cunt, sucking and licking with desperation. No teasing, no foreplay, just an explosion of sensation.

My hand tangled into his hair as I cried out, hunching over as if he was sucking my energy. It didn't take him more than a second to find my clit as his tongue circled the hardened nub.

His other finger found my cunt, ramming in two fingers this time. The dark hall was filled with slopping sounds and loud squelches; if that didn't send a message to any poor classmate who happened to walk by, then my screams probably did.

Finally, with two more harsh thrusts, I became undone, crashing my weight onto his shoulders, my world spinning. My cries were silent with how intensely the orgasm hit me. Sebastian knew it too when his head popped out from under my skirt, licking the remaining juices off his lips. He pressed a kiss to my inner thigh, his smile, anything but friendly

No. I could tell he wasn't done.

My legs finally gave out as I kneeled before him. "Hang on, darling, I'm not through with you," he teased, his tone doing nothing to prepare me as he grabbed my waist and pushed me onto the ground, dirt be damned.

Oh fuck.

I realized I was going to be taken right here, in the middle of this damn hall, and no one was going to stop him. I knew I couldn't. Because hell, I needed him too. He nudged in between my legs, spreading them wide enough for him to see everything.

"You're so fucking pretty," he breathed heavily, his mouth still glistening from earlier. I went completely red.

No, not here. If someone walks in, I'd sooner get eaten by an Acromantula

"Stop, Sebastian! What if-"

A sharp slap to my thigh silenced me instantly before he loomed over me. "You don't want me to stop," he accused, slipping his hands beneath my shirt.

A sob-like cry escaped me as his other hand smoothed over the red mark on my thigh. I hated how good it felt, but what I hated more was that he knew

One last lie. Maybe he'll believe me and I can end this fever dream and not have to deal with the consequences after.

"I do".

Sebastian looked at me, studying my face scrutizing every aspect I tried to keep indifferent when he grins.

"Your cunt certainly doesnt". And he makes a point to show me by smashing his lips on top of mine as I taste myself.

Why is that I am always out of breath whens he kissing me? I breath him in hard.

Everything about him is overwhelming.

As pulls away with my bottom lips between his teeth. He unbuckles his trousers and I dare to look down...

"Sebastian".

His hand immediately grips my jaw bring it up to face him.

"It'll fit. Ill make it fit".

I shake my head, another excuse brewing in my head when he pauses what hes doing and rips open my shirt button flying everywhere.

A shaky sound leaves him he gazes at my breasts "Is that for me".

He was talking about the lacy bra I decided to wear today, and I realized, that today of all day I decided to wear it, because of him.

I gulped "No.."

He smirked, pulling the bra down. "Liar. Keep it up though; I love catching you and seeing the blush all over your face," he said, aligning himself over my entrance and pushing his blunt head in.

I flinched, grabbing his neck and pulling him down. "The least you can do is distract me from the pain..." He smiled, moving a strand of hair out of my face. "I don't think so; perhaps you're forgetting this is punishment," he said, his long, nimble fingers wrapping around the nape of my neck, keeping my head in place.

"Let me see those tears, baby, and don't you dare move your face"

I squeezed his shoulders, a pleading look on my face "Your being cruel".

"Only cause you made me" With that he pushed his length is as I gasp, a strangled noise leaving my throat.

Before I could adjust, he began thrusting into me. The room filled with the sound of his hips slapping against mine. I bounced on the cold stone floor, my breasts moving in tandem. He seized one in his mouth, and I cried out, closing my eyes tightly, feeling utterly helpless in his grasp.

Both of his hands gripped under my thighs and stretched my legs nearly to my stomach as he rammed into me at full speed. My screams and half-moans likely echoed throughout the castle as I flailed on the ground, arching my back, nails scraping against the floor, sweat slickening my skin.

Sebastian groaned as he observed one of my hands reaching for my breast and teasing my hardened nipples

Any pain I felt at the beginning was replaced by sweet utter bliss, it was powerful, and so blinding.

His length reached inside me and pulled out sqelching each time, as if there was a pull stopping him backing all the way out.

He grunted before proceeding to grab my wrists and pin them above my head, putting most of his wright atop of me.

Leaving hot wet kiss all over my neck, he faced me watching my tear stricken face, "Do you want to make this up to me".

I hear those words and immediately nod my head, knowing he would never accpet lodgok no matter what.

"Then promise me your mine. Promise me from now on you'll come to me whenever I summon you whether its the restricted section or in the middle of the damn dark forest. You'll come and do whatever I ask whether thats spreading your leg for me or giving me a taste of that sweet cunt of yours".

I gushed, my eyes nearly rolling at the back of my head with the speed he was going.

"Se-Seb" I whined. "I am-gonna c-cum"

"Promise me sweetheart. Or we stop this. Now".

I am no fool. I knew he what he was asking of me nothing short of being slave to all his desires. But he would never call me his girlfirend. No.

Thats my punishment.

"Seb, I- thats too much"

He clicked in tonghe, an annoyance washing over his features.

"Unless you perfer me to tell other professors what youve been up to. You know, sneaking out in the middle of the night, slaying goblins and ashwinders..."

The cruel grin made it way to his face when my eyes snapped up at him.

"Tell me" He leaned in pressing a soft kiss to my lips and everything I hated about him melted. "Tell me your mine" He murmed against my lips.

As if he knew extactly what to do to get wheat he wanted, his finger dove down to my clit, pressing the nub and rubbing it harshly.

I screamed arching my back as it all hit me. The blinding white pleasure that had me see stars. He wrapped my legs around his waist holding me tight, watching me and convulse against him in pure bliss. As it came over me in waves, I fianlly open my eyes to stare up at his. I cant believe I am saying this.

"Yes.."

His forehead leaned on top of mine a knowing smile on his lips.

"I am all yours..."

[stariekis]

love novels.

pairing : non idol! jungwon + librarian!reader . genre : fluff . cw : none ! let me know if i should add smt . wc : 2.6k not proofread

— synopsis : who said that you can't live those things you always read in your romance novels ?

— note : long ass hiatus damn ... sorry for being so inactive babies but i've been pretty busy with uni and resting too ngl but i promise i'll repay u🤞🏻 <3 n e wayyys here u have a lil woni one shot :D hope u guys enjoy it! all kinds of feedback and reposts are always appreciated as u know 🤲🏻⭐

This new semester you decided on working for your college's library. You loved reading and you go there pretty frequently so you thought that this was the perfect job for you and you can also have some extra credits

The first days there you notice a particular student entering the library at the same time every day, five o'clock to be precise. At firts you didn't pay much attention to him, he was like every other students after all.

But as the time passes by you find yourself looking for him every afternoon, hoping to see him again at the same time.

He was pretty - a pretty handsome guy to be fair - so it was obvious that he would eventually catch your attention. He also has a unique and calm aura, making him more interesting to you.

This is how we ended up in this exact day. The day was pretty boring, not many people entered the library and you spent most of your shift seating behind the desk and organizing the shelfs.

The sound of the door opening caught you attention. It was him, the boy with pretty eyes. Looking at the clock you smiled, five o'clock, right on time.

He, as usual, when straight up to the 'romance novel' shelft. You wanted to talk to him so bad, but how he will react if you just approached him out of the blue ?. So, when you saw him grabbing one of your favorite books you knew you couldn't let this opportunity slide away.

— 'That's one of my favorites books' you said, standing behind his back. He turned around as soon as he heard your voice, smiling at you. He was tall, his frame almost towering you, and he was even prettier up close.

— 'Really? i didn't know that you were into this type of books' actually he knew it perfectly, he saw the same exact book on you desk the other day that's why he choose it.

You didn't notice but since the first time he entered the library he was enchanted by you. Images of you behind your desk with your glasses on and you hair up in a messy bun keep repeating on his mind since that day, he then started frequenting your workplace more.

— 'I actually love romance novels but this one is amazing really, the characters are so well written that you empathize a lot with them and the plot is like strangers to loves and-' you looked at him for the first time and you were shocked to say the least when you found him looking directly at you, totally hypnotized while listening to you. — 'I talk too much don't i?' you look at you feets trying to avoid his gaze.

Jungwon giggled, putting on of his hand under your chin and lifting your face until your eyes met again. You almost melt under his touch. — 'Not at all, i love hearing you talk' he said almost whispering, you didn't realize how closr both of you eere until he backed up a bit.

He handled you the book — 'Sadly I have to go now i have some things to do but i will come back to rent this book okey?'. You nodded, you were completely out of words and your heart was beating fastly. — 'See you around pretty librarian'.

Then he made his way towards the door and, before closing it, he gave your the sweetest smile ever showing his pretty dimple.

You stood there with the book in your hands. When you were about to put it back on the shelf you saw a piece of paper sticking out tje side.

You picked it up and opened it. You put your back against the shelf and slid down until you were sitting on the floor smiling at the note.

i've always wanted to talk to you so, if you want too, text me :)

+ xxx xx xx xx

pd. you are really pretty btw <3

att. jungwon

[unlikelyjapan]

Full disclosure: I wasn't a Syd/Carmy shipper until two weeks ago. Hell, I don't think I've ever been a shipper of anything up until this moment - but I've been happily married to my slow-burn best friend for eons, so this all struck a deep, nostalgic chord for me. Consider this post my coming-out party:

This whole thing came about from that well-worn Freud quote that "friendship is the art of distance while love is the art of intimacy" that I recalled from a crude psychology class.

From the most shallow, birds-eye POV, Carmy achieved intimacy with Claire (while maintaining distance/friendship with Syd) by disclosing details of his family situation, his panic attacks, expressing romantic affection, and establishing physical intimacy with someone.

He even seemed more eager to relay and express these experiences to his friends (see the cannoli conversation with Syd and Marcus) as he went deeper into the relationship. From this perspective, I empathize with people when they say they see his relationship with Claire as real personal growth, followed by a steep regression.

Claire seems to pantomime someone who is secure, but is actually pretty anxious in matters of the heart - the idealized projections she places on Carmy based on her proximity to him a decade ago, her unwillingness to walk away from the red flag of the 'wrong number' fiasco, and her unrelenting insistence to know why he tried to dodge her in the first place. I'll say nothing of the constant placating.

Claire is a sort of a faux 'sword of destiny' for Carmy - he yearned for her attention in his youth, it was loudly proclaimed to be "the good thing" by his abusive family, and so it's the only logical choice in Carmy's mind once he's beaten over the head with it for the umpteenth time - it's the love chosen for him by his family and his past self before he pieced together ways to partially escape, it's fatalism, it's the end of the weary search for "fun" and happiness.

He's never truly happy or having "fun" (as he doesn't know how to define that in his mind - that's why we're tortured with 5 grueling minutes of Logan), but he feels cared for and is going through the motions of being "that guy who is fun and in love".

Love even had to be defined for him by his inherited family friend/handyman who he didn't even know was his "best friend" until Claire relayed it to him - he blindingly accepted both assertions from Fak, falling back into his family's narrative that he can't survive or be normal without their collective help.

By contrast, Sydney is probably the first thing Carmy has ever chosen for himself without outside influence from family or employers. She was his first hired employee, his first true friend who wasn't a blood relative, and probably the first person he feels mirrors his passions without a need to compete with her over them.

Sydney is a choice - she is happiness (in whatever shape or form that you choose to define it, it can be aromantic if you'd like) that Carmy found all by himself, without the narrative being driven by outside influences. They have fun together on their own frequency, but Carmy's black-and-white thinking can't recognize it for what it is - he's still reaching for a sense of "fun" that was repeatedly sold to him as his family tried to push him along the path of normalcy (an impossible feat for a Berzatto).

Syd and Carmy share a brand of maternal grief/strife and a profound love of service that breeds a slow intimacy. By saying "you deserve my full focus" Carmen is saying that Sydney's happiness is more important than his own, which can sound abysmal in type, but is also a natural pre-req for love when given willingly - which I think he is giving willingly for her, just not willingly for the anxiety and minutiae that comes with actually running a fine dining restaurant. He needs someone he can have absolute trust in to hold his hand through that part.

That's why he could only create The Bear with her, and why he says he wouldn't want to do it without her.

They're both fearful and avoidant, which is a fatally-wounding powder keg if they were to connect this instant, but with ever-growing intimacy and self-work (which Claire - however insufferable her dialogue - probably planted seedlings in with Carmy, and his openness and absolute trust in Sydney could drive her towards, too) their coming together could heal many of their longstanding wounds.

This was more of a meandering walk than I hoped, but I think it all comes down to actively choosing happiness vs. passively chosen happiness - Sydney is the first thing Carmy has ever chosen for himself, and we were beaten over the head with depictions of how much he cherishes that agency and Syd this season. I really hope S3 is a big mess of mirroring and sharing for them.

[houpss]

STRAY KIDS DIED,WHEN PROTECTING YOU pt3.

I'm an empath and while I was writing this...oh, I was crying like the last bitch. Parts will be released by two members! (💊))

pt1;;pt2;;pt4

HAN JISUNG

You were at your parents' home when it happened. You found out about this only three days after his death.

You urgently flew to Seoul, simultaneously calling everyone you could, because they didn’t explain it to you, they simply told you: “He’s dead.”

Cause of death: fall from a high stage. The fault of the organizers and the company.

You refused to accept that Jisung was dead, it couldn't be that way.

After Jisung's death, stray kids left JYP ENTERTAINMENT, it was the right thing to do.

When you saw Jisung’s body in the coffin, a scream wanted to escape your lips, but only an exhausted wheeze was heard. you were so weak.

You saw how destroyed and angry the boys were, how angry Jisung’s parents were.

You barely eat, you've lost so much weight, you sleep all the time and spend time in his dorm room.

His scent is on things, his reflection is everywhere. you hear his voice in your head.

SKZ blames themselves for everything, they didn’t keep an eye on Jisung, it’s their fault.

But you are trying to take some of the blame off the boys; they are not to blame for anything.

You constantly hear Jisung's voice in your head, constantly listening to the songs he recorded.

Maybe you're going crazy?

The pain of loss consumed you so much that you became a nobody, as if everything had been taken away from you. Jisung was your everything.

A month after his death, you find letters addressed to you, letters of love to you from Jisung.

The sheets of paper were wet with tears, there was so much, he loved you so much...

You tried so hard to be strong, but for what?

LEE FELIX

He died and the sun went out.

He died shielding you from a bullet. He knew that they were preparing an assassination attempt on you, but he didn’t say... he thought that he would protect you.

He died in your arms, his last words were: "I...love you"

You don’t remember anything, you only remember his body in your arms, you don’t even remember how the funeral went and who was there.

You were the last one to kiss his forehead in the coffin.

Your life stopped along with his.

You would try to move on with your life, Felix would be happy.

You bring flowers to his grave once a week, sit there and talk to him.

"I've dug two graves for us, my dear."

You will definitely pull the boys through, you will help them move on with their lives and forever preserve the memory of Lix.

Felix will be your guardian angel, he will protect you from everything.

You are afraid to sleep, seeing his bloody body in your dreams.

In dreams, he reproaches you that it is your fault.

Felix would never blame you, your sunny boy.

You must live for his memory.

You don't remember the last time you smiled or didn't cry, you cry all the time.

You even tried to swallow pills. Thank you for saving you Jeongin.

[castle-of-ruin]

A/N: Hi! So, this story has been in the works forever. I've always wanted to write for Deacon. I've always wanted to write Bodyguard!Deacon specifically. It's something I've thought about from the very beginning of my journey with Swat. I find it important to clarify that this is an au. The events that take place in this story are completely and utterly my own. They are made up and not true. I hope that, as readers, you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Rating: 18+ MDNI

Pairing: Bodyguard!Deacon x f!Reader

Reminder: This is a bodyguard au. It in no way relates to the actual plot of Swat.

Warnings: mentions of injuries, violence, death threats. There are no explicit descriptions of the readers' body type or other features. Brief use of the word 'her', reader is not named, and there is no use of y/n. Mutual pining, use of the word sweetheart.

Other characters: Jim Street, Dominique Luca, Daniel "Hondo" Harrelson

Word Count - 3.2k

Author's Note 2: If I forgot any content warnings please let me know. Once again I hope anyone who reads this story enjoys you. Feedback, reblogs, comments, likes are all welcome and much appreciated. I'm really putting myself out there by posting this story. It's personal and something I'm so passionate about. Happy Reading!!

Disclaimer: I do not condone people taking my work and reposting it as their own. Do not steal my work.

Adding some visual inspiration for the people who care💕

In the Beginning 

When you first began working with criminals, you never expected your life to be threatened. Sure, there were risks of taking a job like this, but all you were asked to do was to determine whether or not a person was classified as fit to go to trial. That meant oftentimes you had to postpone hearings and trials due to a person's mental capacity. 

You understood how upsetting it could be and you understood why people would blame you for justice not being brought forward. It was easy to empathize with those people, but it didn't mean your life needed to be in danger. 

The first night your life was threatened you were just getting home from a grueling day in the office. Your feet ached and your stomach grumbled. Upon your arrival home you found a note taped to your front door. You tilted your head inspecting the letter before you ripped it off the door. Bile rose in your throat as you read the letter. 

I will kill you for what you've done 

The note was scribbled haphazardly and hardly legible, but you were well aware of what it said. Never in your four years of working had you needed to go to the cops. People you'd worked with time and time again. 

The Los Angeles Police Department was unhelpful when it came to answering your pleas. It wasn't until you went to your childhood friend Jim Street that you were finally heard. 

You hadn't seen Jim in over 3 years. After he left for swat the two of you hadn't had much time to get together anymore. You spoke occasionally, but had no time to really see each other anymore. 

When you showed up at his door he was surprised to see you. The greeting was cut short, you were rushed and scared. As you explained everything to Jim, Luca, Jim's roommate and coworker listened carefully. He was actively trying to think of a way to get you helped out. 

"What about Deac's security business?" He piped in. 

The two of them looked at one another.

They spoke briefly to one another about their old coworker. Explaining to you how Deacon departed from SWAT and took up doing security details full time. You nodded as you listened to them. It wasn't a bad idea, but you didn't know how long it would be before something would take place. 

As if they heard you in your head they had already made the phone call. Luca spoke briefly with someone on the phone, you assumed it was Deacon. Jim smiled softly at you, trying his best to give you some kind of comfort. 

You stayed with Jim and Luca while you waited for Deacon to arrive. You felt safe with them and you took advantage of the opportunity to rest. With eyes closed you lulled to sleep for the first time in days. 

Your slumber was rudely interrupted by a warm hand on your shoulder. The action made you jump, and your eyes searched for the culprit. Jim smiled at you sheepishly, apologizing with his eyes more so than with words. 

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." He told you. 

"It's okay, just, jumpy is all." He nodded his head in understanding. 

"He's here." Jim stated. 

You got up and followed Jim out of the den and back into the living room. Luca talked to another man, you assumed it was Deacon. 

Luca turned when he saw you come into the room. His face lit up, he had already accepted you as one of his people. 

"Hey Deac, this is her." He patted the man on the shoulder and he turned to face you and Jim. 

You hadn't paid him much attention before he turned, but you were shocked to say the least. He was a surprisingly handsome man, and it made your heart pound in your chest. 

In the few seconds before Luca introduced the two of you, you allowed your eyes to trace over him. The hair on his head was mostly gray aside from the occasional dark strand here and there, his beard joined in the majority of gray. The black t-shirt he wore hid no ounce of his muscled form. You wondered if he wore a shirt two sizes too small on purpose.

A clearing of a throat disturbed your thoughts. You blinked rapidly and pulled your eyes away from Deacon. Luca introduced the two of you and you shook Deacon's hand. Heat creeped up your neck as he stared down at you, with a soft smile. 

The smile slowly faded and he crossed his arms over his chest becoming serious. 

"Luca tells me you need some protection? Care to explain the story to me a little bit?" He asked. 

You nodded, and took a seat on Luca and Jim's couch. You explained the story to him as thoroughly as you could. Jim grabbed your shoulder in comfort a couple of times when the emotions overwhelmed you. 

"This isn't the usual detail my team and I take on, but you're a friend of a friend. I'll make sure you're safe. I'll work on this personally." He nodded to you and to Jim. 

Tears welled in your eyes. 

"Thank you Deacon." He smiled and nodded again. 

"Of course. Now, first things first. You need a safe house of some sort while I work with my team to track down the people after you. Is there somewhere you can think of that won't be public knowledge?" He asked you. 

You thought about it for a moment before you nodded. 

"I do.”

Present 

The cabin air was frigid as you made your way back inside. Placing the firewood in its rightful place you take a piece and set it on the fire. Rubbing your hands together you enjoy the warmth seeping into your skin. A car pulling into the driveway draws your attention away from the fire. 

Getting up you make your way to the window on high alert. Your guard falls when you spot Deacon getting out of his car. You watch as he scans the area before coming to the front door. He knocks twice on the door and you go over to it to open it. 

When he enters he hands you the bag in his hand. 

"What's this?" You ask. 

Deacon smiles softly, "Dessert." He states and you peer inside. 

Your smile widens upon seeing apple pie and vanilla ice cream in the bag. 

"Damn, Deacon, I'm surprised you got something so unhealthy." You laugh. 

He shakes his head, "I eat ice cream." 

"Doesn't look like it." You mutter to yourself. 

"What did you say?" He asks. 

"Nothing. Ignore me." You shake your head. 

Taking the bag into the kitchen you unload everything into the freezer.  You notice dishes still left over from this morning in the sink and go over to wash them. Under the running water your thoughts drift over the past 2 months. 

It felt like nothing was happening. You felt stuck, and frozen. Like a prisoner with nowhere else to go. This was meant to be for your own protection, but being stuck in your family's old cabin in the woods was driving you to madness. Plus, being stuck here with Deacon, alone for all hours of the day was testing every amount of strength and willpower you have. Which was just about none when it came to the older man. 

Since the beginning of month 2 things have felt different between the two of you. In month one Deacon wouldn't even sit on the same couch as you. He always sat in the chair furthest from you at the small table in the dining room, and he never looked at you for a moment more than necessary. 

Now, something was different.

He sits next to you on the couch and actually joins you when you watch tv. Now, he doesn't hide his lingering gaze, nor does he sit in the chair furthest from you when you eat. The subtle changes in his behavior drove you mad. 

From the very beginning you were heavily attracted to him. Now, even more so. 

"Hey," Deacon's voice draws you from your thoughts. 

"You okay?" He asks. Coming forward and leaning against the counter. 

Your eyes are drawn to the way his arms bulge as he crosses his arms over his chest. You gulp and look away. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

He chuckles and leans forward, your breath catches in your throat as you look up at him. He switches the water off and leans back against the counter. You let out a breath and close your eyes. 

"You were washing the same dish for 10 minutes. Obviously something is wrong." He states. 

"10 minutes?" You ask and he nods. 

You let out a deep sigh and grip the edge of the sink. Tears well in your eyes and you decide not to hold them back any longer. You let yourself cry and put your head in your hands as you lean on the sink. Deacon touches your back and you allow yourself to lean into it. He rubs soothing circles on your back and allows you to cry. 

After a while you sniffle and wipe your face. 

"I'm sorry." You wipe at your eyes and look over at him. 

His smile is sad as he looks at you. Deacon swipes a stray tear from your cheeks and cups your face in his hand. He leans in as if he's going to kiss you but, then the moment is broken when something clicks in his head and he pulls away clearing his throat. 

"Don't be sorry. I'm gonna go contact my team. See if there's any updates." With that he exits the kitchen. 

Fuck. You think to yourself.

For the rest of the day Deacon avoided you like the plague. It made you feel even worse than you already did. Loneliness pangs in your chest as you sit on the couch and aimlessly scroll through the channels. 

Deacon busts into the room and you jump. 

"We have to go now." He states, throwing your jacket at you. 

Jumping to your feet you throw the jacket on and follow Deacon to the back of the cabin. You grip his jacket tightly in your hand trying to stay close to him. He turns and looks at you, pressing one of his fingers to his lips. 

He opens the door quietly and inches out slowly. Deacon grasps your hand in his and drags you out into the woods. The two of you run for a while before he stops. 

"You see that ridge up there?" He asks pointing. 

"Yes," You pause looking at him. 

"Go. Get up there and hide. Don't come out until I come get you." He instructs. 

You grip his arm. "Deacon, what if you don't come back?" 

He grips his phone in his back pocket and places it in your hands. 

"Call, Street. Tell him where we are. Tell him to send the team." He states. 

You nod, with tear filled eyes, and trembling lips. Releasing his hand you take off up the hill and hide. Pulling Deacons phone out of your pocket you dial Jim. 

"Hey Deac," 

"Jim, it's me. Deacon told me to tell you to send the team. Hurry Jim. I'm scared." You sob. 

"Where are you?" He rushes out. 

"Near the Oregon border." You stutter out. 

"Keep the line open, we're tracking Deac's phone." You nod, but he can't see you. 

Gunshots could be heard in the distance. Tears fall freely now, rolling down your cheeks. 

"Got it, we're on the way. Stay hidden." He urges and the line goes dead. 

You pull your knees as close to your body as you can trying to hide away in the dark nook. The gunshots fade in the distance and your heart races faster. Every part of you wants to run and see if Deacon was okay, but you listened and stayed put.

After what felt like forever a helicopter could be heard overhead. Staying in your hiding spot you close your eyes and hope they make it to you soon. You were freezing. 

After a few more minutes you could hear voices and footsteps. Some shouting out how many people were dead, others asking where Deacon was. You heard Jim's voice in the distance calling for you. Now you got up from your hiding spot and went tumbling down the hill. You ran as fast as you could back in the direction of the cabin. 

"Jim!" You yell his name when you finally see him. 

He comes running towards you and you slam into him. Hugging him tightly, tears once again falling freely. His hand goes to the back of your head as he holds you close. 

When you pull away you search his eyes seeing if they hold anything. 

"Where's Deacon?" You ask. 

There it was. Jim averts his eyes from you for a brief moment. Something the normal eye would never pick up. You grip his arm tightly. 

"Jim please, tell me." You beg.

"He's alive, but he's been shot. Plus some other injuries. He wasn't conscious when we wheeled him out of here." He tells you truthfully. 

Your shoulders sag. "Is he going to be okay?" You ask. 

"We don't know yet. Come on, let's get you out of here." Jim wraps his arm around you. 

"But, it's not safe." You stop. 

"It is now. Has he not told you?" Jim asks. 

You tilt your head. "What do you mean?" 

"Deacon, and his team were able to locate the men who threatened your life. He had me, Hondo and the rest of the team go in and take them down." He pauses for a moment. 

"Some got away. They had found your location and we couldn't get to them before they left. We were just barely able to warn Deacon before they showed up." He finishes. 

You haven't cried this much since your childhood pet died when you were 16. A part of you died that day with him. Now, here you were crying over a man you may never get to see again because he too might be dead.

Jim leads you to the helicopter and helps you get in the seat before doing so himself. You watch the land below get smaller and darker the higher into the air you go. Jim grabs your hand and squeezes it for a moment. You know it was him trying to comfort you. Jim had never been good at that. 

Being able to go back to your home felt wrong. It was crazy to think that two months living in the unknown would change your entire view on your life. You desperately want to go to the hospital to see Deacon. Make sure he's okay for yourself, or see for yourself he's not okay. 

Jim agrees to take you to the hospital. Upon arrival you notice how many people were there for Deacon. He was held in high regard amongst his former teammates. It was a sight to see. 

Someone calls your name and you look in the direction of the voice. The man you knew as Hondo approaches you. 

"We've heard a lot about you. It's nice to finally meet you." He tells you with a genuine smile. 

You nod, unable to form words of any kind. Your throat was sore and scratchy. Making it feel impossible to speak at the moment. You need water. Once again reading your mind, Jim appears with a bottle of water in hand. You smile thankfully at him. 

"Thanks." You croak out.

You find a seat and wait with the rest of the people in the waiting room. The hours tick by as all of you wait for an update on Deacon. 

Three hours after you get to the hospital a doctor comes out of the OR doors. Everyone stands, and the doctor's eyes widen. 

"Are all of you here for Mr. Kay?" He asks. 

Everyone nods. The doctor takes his glasses off and wipes them before adjusting them to his face once more. 

"He's going to be fine. Recovery will suck, but he will recover. Gunshot wound, cracked ribs, fractured arm, the list goes on. It's a good thing he has all of you." He nods. 

"Can we see him?" Your quiet voice pokes through the crowd. 

"It's after visiting hours, but I can allow one of you back." He states.

You expect someone to go back and see him, but when no one does you step forward. Jim nods at you. You found it odd the people who have known Deacon the longest would allow someone who's only known him for two months be with him while in this position. 

The doctor nods and gestures for you to follow him. He leads you down the hall of hospital rooms and stops when he reaches Deacon's door. 

"I'll have them bring in some blankets and pillows. If you don't plan to stay, let me know." He states. 

"No, I'm staying." He nods and leaves. 

You examine the small hospital room. The monitor beeps to the rhythm of Deacon's heart. This is the first time you've seen him in over 5 hours. You weren't sure if you ever would. 

Taking him in you frown at the sight of him. A bandage on his left cheekbone, busted lip, a splint on his right arm. He was a mess, all because he was protecting you. 

You pull the chair over to him and sit down beside him. 

"Damn you, Deacon." You whisper. 

You grab his open hand into your own, looping your thumb around his. He didn't close his hand around yours, but that didn't matter. Feeling his pulse thump in his wrist was enough. You lean your head down and place it on the bed, closing your eyes. Allowing yourself to take in his warmth. Meaning he was very much alive. 

A nurse enters the room and gives you a soft smile before setting up the small bed in the corner of the room. You silently thank her. Your eyes snap to Deacon when you feel his fingers wrap about your hand. 

His eyes are just barely open as he looks at you. 

"I'm sorry." He croaks out. 

"Sorry? Why are you sorry." You raise your eyebrows at him. 

"Scaring you." 

"Deac, you saved my life. You have nothing to apologize for. I'm the one who needs to apologize. I'm the reason you almost died." You grip his hand tighter. 

He laughs, then groans in pain. 

"It was my job sweetheart. You don't have to apologize either." He reassures you.

"I guess we both need to stop apologizing." You laugh out. 

"I guess so." He gives a small smile. 

You rub his arm softly and he watches you do so. 

"You should get some rest." You tell him as you stand up. 

He watches as you lean over and press a kiss to his cheek. Your breath catches in your throat as you linger a moment longer contemplating things in your head. His beard scratches your cheek as you loop your arm around his neck in an awkward hug. 

"I'll be right here if you need me." You tell him. 

He nods. Flicking the light in the hospital room off you make your way to the small bed in the corner and try to sleep. 

"Goodnight Deac." 

"Goodnight Sweetheart.”

Tagging a few who may want to read it : @obiknights @chelseasdagger @streakyglasses

A big big thank you to @spnshortcake for encouraging me to post this. I'm grateful for you. Thank you love ❤️.

[tigertale]

A/N: Is it bad that I can relate a little too much to Yuuya? Anyway, reader is insecure and Ace is an ass. A good 10k words??? I can't assure you a good quality throughout the entire fic

A/N 2: I died and revived halfway through writing the fic and the scenario went brrr (started this during December 2022 oops)

F!Reader; Ace

•〔　！ 〕Smut; First time; Grammatical errors; Not proofread

Ace looked at the sorry excuse the prefect of the Ramshackle dorm was.

She had unconsciously curled up into her seat, not because of the light almost see through clothes that served as a poor excuse for pajamas, but most probably because of how insecure she was about getting closer to the boy. And the sight made the clench in his ribs almost unbearable.

He was kind of stupid wasn't he? Suddenly barging into her place in the middle of the night despite having insulted her a few hours ago. It had taken for her to properly guide the unlucky chandelier group — aka him, the magicless student, whoever this dormmate of his was and a highly sensitive beast — through the obstacle the mine monster was for him to realize that she wasn't as boring as what he had told her. And now that he was before her, he remembered how he had never properly apologized.

He opened his mouth, but it seemed that the two of them had the same idea as their voices overlapped over one another. It resulted in an awkward silence that became a just as awkward game of "you first." And his persistence made him win the game.

Her knees brushed against one another as she tried to get her words out. "I know that the couch is not comfortable, so if you want you can always sleep in my bed." Eh? That was even more unexpected than what he had imagined. Didn't she mean that she wanted him to leave? Wasn't she supposed to be angry at him for how he had belittled her so far? And he made sure to voice those thoughts to her.

"I guess that… I am a little angry about that. But I don't like being caught in problems, and I don't want you to sleep under the rain too." The water drop that hit his face empathized her claim. As he wept it off his cheek with the back of his blazer and cursed the shady state of the building, he thought about how kind she was. Too much even. He was not one to be bothered by such things, but he was oh so guilty when she would selflessly try to bring him comfort — and at the back of his mind, the idea that someone other than would take advantage of it surely grew to become something he feared.

He drapped his arms over the back of the sofa, a playful smile hanging on his lips. "So~ You're okay with letting me sleep in your bed? You can't take it back once you've said yes!" A yelp left his mouth as a coil found fun by jabbing his behind.

"I've already proposed it to you… I can't just take it back now." Right! That's why he had said that she was boring. She had never talked back, they had been glued to each other for an entire day but she was just being placide and let everything unfold before her. It was a shame, especially after he had seen how she had the power to easily fix problems and had a complex yet interesting way of thinking. But so, at least he didn't have to beg to have things go his way. It would've been awkward to use the argument of his slim body to gain even the slightest bit of sympathy.

"Then come on, lead the way." She sighed as she got up, clearly displeased by the way he was addressing her, but not wanting to express it.

After they had entered the room, she had gone straight to bed, watching from time to time as he got himself ready to sleep. The urge to tease her about it died whenever he looked at her. Her eyes, expressing how expectant she was for him to finish, stopped him from doing so. And the way she was coddled up under the cover like a child made the guilt come back. She looked cute like that, and that was a damn stupid thought for him to have.

He eventually slid under the cover, his buttoned up shirt was partially open and he had kept his trousers on to keep some kind of decency. She did mention that he was allowed to sleep in his underwear after he had jokingly asked about it, arguing that she was used to it as she had brothers, and if needed she could put pillows in-between them. It may have been too straightforward for him, and before he could properly think about it he had already disagreed saying that it was only a joke.

Minutes passed where the two of them thought about the one by their side in silence. Their reflexions going from a simple "he's stupid" to more complex ones. And Ace was not one to keep himself from expressing his opinions. If he had something to say, then he would say it. "You're too kind, you know? Think about yourself more, you need to strengthen yourself a bit." It broke the stillness between them.

She shuffled under the cover, pulling it even higher above her face as if to hide it. Not that he could even see her half lidded eyes, dropped with sadness, to begin with as it was too dark. "Am I not already?" He turned towards her, unconsciously trying to make out the shape of her face despite knowing that he couldn't. "I'm "kind" as you say, but for me it's only a mean to avoid any problems that can be an obstacle to my peace. I just want to be comfortable, and I'll do anything to be. Isn't that egoism?" The silence that followed made her question her words, forgetting about the boy laying beside her. Just like everyone she had needs that had to be fulfilled, and those needs were the only thing that pushed her forward despite the hole in her heart. If she couldn't have her family by her side, if she couldn't let go of this loneliness, she could at least work out something that will compensate and make her forget about those worries.

"You're as kind as you're dumb to say things like that without hesitation." She almost choked at his words, and the snickers that followed let her understand that he had found fun in her short surprise. Part of the dip beside her disappeared as he sat up. "Shit I've never imagined talking about this kind of stuff so late at night… So what? Now it's selfish to wish for something and to work for it? And you could've just given me the sofa, but you've still offered me the bed because I could've caught a cold. If you feel that you have any obligation related to my health then you might as well be kind." A whine left the back of her throat before she could have stopped it.

She hated those words. "Kind." She was just a normal and average human being, she didn't like those labels that would be thrown at her whether she liked it or not. It was distressing in a way how some people felt the need to put nice words for her as if she had deserved it.

The mattress once again dipped, but this time on each side of her face. She was surprised that his hands were caging her head and his hot breath fawning over her face. He was on all four above her, he had moved so swiftly she had barely had the time to register it. "It seems to me that you're just overthinking." She felt the heat of his body licking her skin as he got closer to her, his arms bending and allowing him to do so. "I can try and make you forget about it, what do you think?"

He patiently waited, knowing that it may seem to her that his request was out of the blue. But she was oh so tempting, and he couldn't stop thinking about her ever since they had left each other after the mine incident. He had never been interested in these kinds of things but somehow she was messing with his internal compass, messing with his mind and reminding him that he was still so full of needs that were left unattended for a while already. And hey, she needed to get rid of those intrusive thoughts, and he wanted her. So he might as well kill two birds with one stone.

"Do you have a condom?" A what now? She let out another sigh, one that he knew he would get accustomed to, and traced the side of his face with the tip of her fingers.

"It doesn't seem like you had sex before." Now he was surprised. For her to say such crude words without any shame but at the same time struggling to tell him off when he was annoying her. And the way he just shut himself off made her assume that she was right (and she was.) "I'm not more experienced than you, but I know a thing or two. And I know that we need a condom."

"Why? It's not like you can get pregnant on your first time?" The high pitched noise that rang through the room as she slapped her forehead with the heel of her hand was way more effective in letting Ace know just how stupid she thought he was than a mere sigh.

"I… don't think that I have the willpower to explain things in-depth to you at the moment." She gently took his hands and sat up to be at the same level as where she believed his face was. "Just know that yes I can, and we won't do a thing without a condom." She plopped herself back in the bed and set herself back to sleep.

"Sleep tight, Ace. Have nice dreams."

He had yet to move from where he was kneeling. She had put an end so easily to the conversation, he was even doubting that it had ever happened. What the hell were those things she knew, and why was he curious to hear about it? But eventually he came back to the problem at hand as he settled too on his side of the bed. "Where am I even supposed to get those?"

"800 students, some of them are bound to develop some kind of physical relationship." He hummed at that, as if to say that he was giving it some thought even if he didn't care about it. "The infirmary must give some condoms to avoid STDs. Or there's a shop on the way here, maybe they're selling some there." Oh so she was telling him where to look for those. As much as he liked the idea of getting close to her —and wow, it was his first time ever wanting someone this much— he didn't trust himself to actually have the courage to buy them. Even imagining getting them was enough of a hassle for him. Having condoms was not his top priority and he was lazy just thinking about them.

"Thanks I guess." Well too bad, they won't have sex. But maybe that was a good thing. He was not one to follow societal wildly spread conceptions (as your first-time was important) but maybe that this once, it wouldn't be a bad thing to listen to them.

_____

He came back the very next day. Condom in hand.

Now, to avoid any misunderstanding, it would be nice to mention that he wasn't desperate enough to get them. If anything he had told himself that he wouldn't get them and that he should just forget about getting more intimate with her.

Yet, it had seemed that his dorm had other plans. His senior, Cater he believed his name was, had suddenly given him a handful of those plastic packages of various sizes. "Riddle's order! Every frosh are to be safe!☆" He had said when he saw how appalled Ace was. It was actually more of the nurse's order after she had chewed Crowley out for the lack of security in the school. He also added that they were to have every size to be sure to have something that fits them, it would be bad if it was too small for them to wear, right? Not every dorm was particularly uptight about this rule, and even fewer of them tried to hand them the right size — so far only Heartslabyul and Pomefiore had made this kind effort. While Riddle wasn't exactly fond of this rule, rules are rules and he still cared for those under him, so he might as well go all out.

Now the school's problem had become his, and he didn't know how to approach her. He was already in front of the rundown building after asking his dormhead the permission to sleep at her place, but how should he bring the subject back? He didn't care about how others may see him, but she was somehow a different story.

After taking a deep breath, he knocked. It didn't take long for the door to open and he cheerfully greeted her, a hand scratching the back of his head. "Hey prefect! You don't mind me crashing at your place again, right?" She stared blankly before welcoming him with a small "sure" that led to a dutiful silence. And this awkward smile on her lips was a nightmare to look at. How could it both drive him away but also stir his heart so badly?

As he entered, he finally saw her lack of clothes. The only pair of pants she had had been ditched somewhere and replaced with shorts that could barely be seen above her dirty white blouse. Upon further inspection, her entire body was painted with black spots and her buttoned up shirt had turned a dark brown with whatever liquid had drenched it.

"Errh, what happened to you?" She looked down at her poor state before becoming even more reserved. He was surprised to see her pouting as she awkwardly pulled at her clothes.

"I was trying to see what was wrong with the water heater, I hate having to shower with a bucket." She sighed as she stretched her back, hands placed on her back as she bent backwards. "But the thing is beaten down, there's no way I'll have hot water any time soon." She whined even louder and great seven, it was the first time he had ever heard her being so genuine! She even sounded approachable. If she kept such extraversion, surely the bullying would slowly soften. She wasn't an opportunist after all, and they would come to understand this.

"If you really need, I can always sneak you in my dorm. You won't mind sleeping with me, right?" The smirk that had formed on his lips paired with the boyish popular facial expression made her giggle. What was he trying to do? Didn't he say that sleeping with her was "meh"? (No offense, she did sense that he was joking) She turned around and walked him to the living room, her shoulders still shaking as she tried to hide her laughter.

He marveled at the state of the parlor. He had last entered it less than a day before, but it was vastly different then what he had remembered! She sat him down as he continued to watch his surroundings. "I tried to clean up a bit but it's still dirty… I'm sorry for the mess." 

"What are you? A perfectionist?" She may have only removed a few paintings and thrown a worn out blanket over the sofa, it was enough for the room to change. "This is good enough." She gently laughed, still not quite sure how to react to the compliment.

Knowing the person Ace was —or at least had a semblance of an idea of it— she tried not to let the silence between them linger and asked him if he wanted to sit so as to not make things awkward. It may have had the contrary effect because he was frowning as he made himself comfortable on the couch. And when she asked if he wanted a coffee to drink he just snapped.

"What are you? An old woman? Stop acting like one, shit. 'Is so fucking boring…" He grumbled the last part and crossed his arms. His annoyed eyes were sending daggers as she was left trying to find her words, mouth repeatedly opening and closing.

She eventually brought her fist up and coughed inside after finally snapping out of her surprise. "So… why did you come here?" She tried not to think much of his words. They only fed her insecurities, but if she were to express them right now, wouldn't it just confirm what he had said? If anything, she had learnt that talking about feelings was considered "boring" by most people her age. "And what's up with the bag?" She tried to change the subject by pointing said object with a finger, but it actually made him uneasy.

He tried to answer, catching himself multiple times to rectify and find the right words before eventually giving up. Instead he gave her said bag. "Condoms." He said right when she opened it.

Much to his displeasure, the silence that they (more like she, he didn't make any efforts so far to make her feel better) had tried so hard to push away all this time had finally found its way in their conversation. She was carefully processing what was before her and by the time she had eventually come to accept what it was, he had become a small puddle of sweat.

"I didn't expect you to have so much in so little time." He blushed furiously at that and took the bag back. He was furious, seething, by what she was implying. He was NOT a pervert! And he wouldn't let her think so! Or that's what he tried to convince himself to think because he sure as hell was more embarrassed about it than angry. After all, it's the exact image he didn't want her to have about him.

But she was far from thinking this and– no, actually, a part of her was impressed by how obsessed and eager he may have been, even if that's not the actual case.

"Hey dumbass! What makes you think I prepared all of these?!" He sat back down, putting all his plastic square packages in between his legs. One hand was tightly gripping his thigh while the other was hiding his bright red face from her. "Some older guy in my dorm gave me those, apparently it's a dorm rule for every student to receive them at the beginning of the year…" His voice barely escaped from his fingers, only managing to come out as an almost indescribable grumbling.

"Then it's a good coincidence for us." She came closer to him and much to his embarrassment, she put a hand in the bag, grazing her hand against and stimulating his growing hard on as she rummaged through it to grab a few of the small packages. She eventually fished out a couple of the condoms, and showed them off to the boy. "So which one's your size?"

"How the hell should I know?"

She deflated at that. "Come on, every boy has measured it at least once. Isn't it important for you all to know about it —so you can compare it in the boy locker room?" The last part wasn't pronounced, but her understood her innuendo. He did actually measure it, but he wasn't going to talk about it so casually. His lack of answer only pulled a sigh out of her, one that quickly made him cower inside the uncomfortable sofa. She had moved to be on her knees, a soothing hand caressing his thighs as she looked up at him. "If you really don't know then I'll have to try each one of them. One by one."

Her fingers started playing with the zipper of his trousers, pulling it open with an ease that almost made him question if she really was new to this. "W- Wait!" He stopped what she was doing by taking her hands in his. She looked at him, fixating on something other than the clothed bulge that was now out for her to see. "What a-are you doing? I- I'm not-... I mean no! I-I a…m actually…!"

She nodded and pulled her hands down against her bent knees. He sighed at her action, but quickly straightened back. There was no way in hell she had understood what he was trying to say, so why was she nodding understandingly. There were many ways for her to misinterpret it, and if she actually did, he didn't know what he would do–

"Ah yes, consent. I understand if you don't want to. I got ahead of myself and thought we were about to do it, I'm deeply sorry for assuming things and—"

He cut her off with an undignified "eeh?!" that made her tilt her head to the side. "Where the hell is this story about consent coming from?" She was about to answer but he shook his head from side to side. "You know what, I don't even want to know." He continued talking, explaining that what he was actually trying to say was his size. Dick size. And that she didn't have to test each condom.

She picked up and ripped a packet of the right size open with a relieved sigh. "I was honestly scared of wasting so much condoms." She took the rubber out and examined it closely before watching the lubricant stretching into a bridge between her fingers. "I've never actually put a condom on something before so it's a first for me." She put it back on the opened package and went back to working with his now rocking hard cock.

"Please don't be too harsh with me."

He gulped down the excess of saliva to try and cool off his face. She was adorable like that, pulling out his member, or more it being freed and slapping her square in the face. She let out a dissatisfied sound as she rubbed her eyes from the precum that had gotten on her eyelids.

"You're not circumcised." She pulled the foreskin down to let the head of his cock free for her to see. If the precum was a lot before, now that the tip was out in the open, she could see just how much of a mess it was. She hummed as she circled the hole at the very top of it and enjoyed each of his twitching. "I've never seen an uncircumcised one so close… but don't worry, as long as you're clean, I'm down for you." She let out a string of "hehe" that made his blood pump faster. He grabbed the back of her head and pulled her back so that she could directly connect her eyes with his.

"Stop joking around already." She agreed to do so in a tone that almost made him question whether she would really do it or not, and went back to her forgotten condom.

She recited, one by one, every step needed to put a condom on under her breath, guiding herself into doing it as Ace visibly didn't have much knowledge. Once it was done, she brightened up and happily clapped his thigh, which made him hiss with pain.

"In one go!" She happily said with a proud smile that was all too bright for him. His fingers that were still planted into the root of her hair brought her attention back to the twitching member in front of her by angling it back to where it was at first.

"A-Ah wait… I'm a bit nervous… I've never done this before." But she was only shoved forward as an answer, her cheek planting against his pelvis. His penis was now right before her nose and mockingly staring back.

"Then you'll learn." She timidly sniffed it, something that took him aback.

She pecked it at first, trying to see how it would go, and the first impression being quite good, she switched to small stripes being licked along his shaft. While it was rather tasteless for her, his breath was heavy and his body had become unbearably hot.

He popped a few buttons of his shirt open, letting his chest breath as she moved to the base of his dick where two fingers were tightly pressing it. He didn't expect to feel all of her touches so vividly with a condom on, but she had once again found a way to surprise him.

His fingers moved from the back, where he painfully was gripping the small hairs along her nape, to the top of her head when she finally shifted her attention back to the tip of his shaft. A hand still lingered at the base where she kept a tight grip while the other was pumping up and down.

It started with small kisses that quickly became her pumping his cock in her mouth. The first try had left her a coughing mess, but the second was much more successful after making her hand into a fist. He did marvel for a second at the technique, wondering if it would actually work, but his mind went into shambles when the warmth of her cavity wrapped his lower half in a steamy hug.

She tried to peek up at him, wanting to see his facial expression, but couldn't do so as his hand only but pressed her further down his aching shaft. Later, when he would cum inside the plastic protection, she would have the time to see it as he would bask into his aftermath.

And it may have come earlier than what she had expected because he removed himself from her mouth not long after. He fisted his rod as he kept her in front of him. Was it because he wanted to get off to her face or because he imagined her covering with his cum? He didn't know, but both were good endings for him.

He eventually came, the condom swelling with the amount of sperm he had let out and she just watched, fascinated, as it did so. He came rather fast, but she was not worried at all, and she was ready to comfort him if he ever felt down about it. It was normal for a first-time, and she was more curious about the taste than the time.

"Was it good?" She asked as she started to take the condom off. She carefully carved the sight of his flushed face, drooling and seemingly fucked out of his mind, in her memories. She was not one to masturbate, but this image could only become a great fantasy for her to get off to for the next following days.

He let out a small moan as he stretched his back and tilted his head down to see what she was doing. "Yeah, I didn't expect it to be so good actually." Thankfully he had finished his words in time, she had started to remove the condom, and he feared just how embarrassing it would have been if he had to explain why he had stopped talking halfway through. She was pushing every last bit of his cum out of the plastic and onto the tongue she had stuck out.

A humm left her as she swallowed it all, a thumb passing over her lips and chin to pick any leftovers before popping it inside her mouth. "It's kind of sweet. You should watch your diet." He groaned as she merely laughed.

"Shut up. I'm not here for diet advice." His words only made her laugh harder.

But she quickly came to a stop. "Ah wait, that was a bad move."  She got up and dusted herself with a sigh under his curious eyes. "You can still get STDs by swallowing semence."

"Are you implying that I have STDs?" It seemed to get on his nerves, and she quickly tried to reiterate her words.

She sat on his legs and shook her head. "No, but there's always a possibility even if you're a virgin." For whatever reason, the last word made him frown even more. Why do boys his age have to be so hard to work with? His ego was truly something else. "There's also a possibility that I have those, so don't take it as something personal. I'm just trying to make you pick up good habits."

But he didn't listen. Now that she was on him, he could feel her warm and dripping cunt on his limp manhood. Even with two layers of clothes, it was impossibly wet and coated him with her juice. He had put two hands on her hips as she was talking and had started to grind her against him.

She quickly saw what he was doing and gently wrapped her arms around his neck and arched her back to press her chest against his open one. "You've barely come a minute ago, shouldn't you wait before going back to it?" But he merely groaned as an answer and buried his face in the junction of her neck.

He continued his movements, which have been gradually increasing in force, as her heavy breath picked up with the pace and blessed his ears.

Still pressed against him, she slid to fingers in-between their body to continue his previous work. The last buttons of his shirt were popped open and she removed the piece of cloth from him.

"Aaah… W- Wait…" she gently pushed her hands against his chest and backed from the rod grinding against her. "We need another condom." He mindlessly nodded but felt awfully frustrated when her fingers left him to search for a new piece of rubber.

She did the same as before after opening the package, saying aloud what she was doing as she pinched the tip of the condom and rolled it over his shaft.

He curiously watched as she raised herself above his rocking hard erection, her expression rather unsure and her bottom lip tightly grasped in-between her teeth. "Uh, shouldn't I prepare you or something." He was not one to care much about others, but surely she wasn't about to put herself through pain, right?

She flushed at his words and nervously tapped his shoulders. "Don't worry… We'll just go slowly." She had thought that he had forgotten about it all. With how uncomfortable she was with her body, she thought it would be best for her to just skip such steps so she could avoid any types of embarrassment. Surely the pain won't be so bad if they were to take their time.

He didn't push her further on, thankfully for her, and she slowly pushed herself against him. And maybe that she should have thought twice about this lame idea because she had to stop when the tip was barely in. The blush on his cheeks came back when she once again pressed her chest to his, except this time hissing and twitching.

A few minutes passed where the two of them were too engrossed in both their current fixation — him enjoying the feel of her clothed breasts against him and her laboured breath, and she, focusing on his fast beating heart, before he came back to the current situation at hand. "Uhh, you're sure you're good?"

"Yeah…Yeah yeah." She mindlessly nodded as she took the chance to continue her way down his shaft. Despite the slight uncomfortable feeling of being full, she had indeed relaxed. She eventually came to a stop when her ass was pressed against his thighs and it pulled a moan out of him that she gladly let her ego feed on.

"Uh, you seem to like it." He didn't answer, his mind far too gone for him to properly care about the comment. He still buried his face in the crook of her neck when he felt her sliding off his cock.

She was using his shoulders as a leverage, two tight hands marking his skin with the crescent shapes of her nails, and slowly pulled herself upwards. At the same time, his face followed the shape of her body that was pressed against him. His nose ended up brushing her clothed breasts. And the material scratching his skin successfully pulled him out of his reveries.

Once she was high enough, the tip barely peeking from her cunt, she went back down. Although more easily this time. Both of their voice resonated in the empty room, and she was thankful that no-one was around to hear them — or at least they didn't make themselves known and avoided the parlour, which was just as good actually.

He was tempted to dig his fingers in the small of her back to switch to a faster pace, but the fabric that was still hiding her upper body was more bothering at the moment. His shaky hands moved to her buttoned up shirt, the way she was bouncing and moaning on top of him almost making him forget about what he was trying to do, and started undoing the buttons one by one. He deemed his mission complete when half of the blouse was open and didn't waste time diving in her breasts to bite and lick whatever parcel of skin was welcoming him.

Her whimpers and hitched breath only increased as shivers would rack her body to the point that she was only but uncontrollably twitching. And when her pace eventually faltered, Ace was sure to take over, two hands grasping her ass and jumping her on his thighs as he continued to shamelessly bite the top of her chest.

The dents of his zipper painfully turned her skin red with every thrust. But in the heat of the moment and the different overlapping sensations, it only further stimulated the coil that was painfully tightening in her lower half and made her voice higher.

She thanked whatever divine being she could imagine, her mind fading to a blank state with each of his trusts inside her and her body so hot that she feared that she would just succumb to it all. Her stomach twisted painfully when his pace suddenly picked up, something that she had never experienced before, and made her wonder if her end was getting closer.

But he stopped right when she felt herself reaching her peak.

He groaned as he let himself rest against the sofa. Now limp, he wasn't maintaining her body up, and she just fell forward against him.

How frustrating it was, her lower half was still pulsating with pleasure, and she couldn't understand why he stopped. "Ace, are you done?" She whispered from his shoulder, where her head was resting. He pressed a hand against his forehead before removing the sweat and hairs sticking on it.

"Uh…" oh he was still very much basking into the aftermath of his climax, and it took a while for her words to be understood by him, she even repeated herself when she heard how lost he was. "Yeah… yeah, shit that was– fucking shit it's-" He tried to utter some kind of answer but his mind was too much of a mess for him to properly think. At least he understood what she said now.

She sighed, tempted to press a kiss against the skin of his neck, but they weren't close enough for her to do it, right? If they were just some kind of one night stand (it's the middle of the afternoon,) they shouldn't kiss, it would be weird, wouldn't it?

She didn't expect her first time to end so abruptly. Yes she didn't hold many expectations, knowing that it would never be perfect, but she was still very upset. She eventually forced herself to think that they weren't even close to begin to even fathom him taking care of her like a boyfriend would, which they weren't.

His half lidded eyes opened wide when she removed herself from him. She had pressed her hand against his chest to help her up, and when his dick fell limp it of her he hissed. Her eyes lingered for a moment on the condom that was full, before focusing on closing the buttons of her shirt. "I'll take a shower first, you'll go after, okay?"

"Why?" Here she was, once again confusing him with her decision.

"You're staying here for the night, continuing the evening clean would be better I think." She's not wrong, but he didn't feel like bathing right now. Yet, before he would voice out his thoughts, she was already closing the door of the parlour behind her. Uh? Why was she so cold? It seemed that she reverted back to her placide and awkward self.

He pursed his lips, annoyed by how the mood just fell flat after her sudden change. As said before, he didn't like holding onto whatever most people deemed as a "social norm", like treating his first-time like something so special that you needed to plan it and idealise it. But her leaving so abruptly somehow sat wrong with him, it even woke him up from his dazed state.

Now he had to wait for both of them to bathe before addressing whatever stupid thing was going through her head. Hopefully it won't take long.

_____

After drinking water and properly washing themselves off of any remaining fluids, they both basked into each other's presence and continued on with their pajama party. He had come late into the afternoon and by the time they had finished cleaning up, the sun was not visible anymore, only a faint gradient of orange and purple was seen.

The bath had been ice cold, thanks to the destroyed water heater, but after lighting the fire in her bedroom's fireplace and placing a few logs inside to keep it alive, it was much more bearable. They both laid on the ground before it, enjoying its heat.

 "Are you bipolar or something?" She turned towards him, surprised to see that he was already looking at her. Even more unexpected, he was frowning. Why was he suddenly pissed? It's not like she had done anything… Or perhaps was it her lack of engagement that brought this sudden behaviour? He did mention that she was boring… And she wasn't making her situation after all. "Just talk instead of creating those weird scenarios in your head." He could clearly see on her face that she was not getting any of what he was saying.

She was lost. Was it not her uninteresting self that was annoying him? "Then… What's the problem?" She couldn't see what possibly annoyed him.

"Can't you guess?" Well obviously, it seemed that she couldn't. She was staring at the ceiling absently, uncertain about what he was expecting from her and how she should fulfill these expectations. "Why did you suddenly close yourself after what we did." Oh.

She awkwardly laughed, what was he talking about? Perhaps was he mentioning the brief moment when she realised that they were not close. But it was the truth, they were not, and she shouldn't have open herself to him in hopes of something more.

"It's nothing, really." Her words did nothing to quell the conflicting feelings inside him. As if she could just end the conversation with only a "it's nothing."

"How about you tell me more about the Great Seven." Despite the proposition coming out of the blue, it was far from some kind of random conversation subject. The mirror above the fireplace reminded her, for some mysterious reasons, of the statues of the seven great figures by the school's entrance. And it was a nice way to get out of the chat he wanted to have.

"Why would I even talk about them?"

"Because I'm too dumb?" She was using his words against him uh? Well at least it seems like she was once again getting comfortable with him if she was able to talk back like this. So he just let it go, hoping that one story would be enough for them to continue their previous talk, but when she answered back with a tale of her own world, it was too late.

Ace was still much more reluctant to keep this peace up, starting a "it's boring" streak (hopefully she would just go back to why she had became so cold back in the living room), but one mention of paranormal stories from her world and she had his full attention. Each and every story somehow managed to catch his attention, so much that they didn't see the time flashing before them.

"Aaaah!" She stretched her back, a long tired moan emphasizing the arch of it, which caught his attention. Hey, now that he was thinking about it, she had yet to show herself to him, as in, he still hasn't seen her naked, did heN?

She jumped when she felt his hand sneaking under her loose shirt and barely grazing her skin. But when she turned around, the only thing she saw, and was surprised by, was his focused face as more and more of her body was shown as he moved it higher. "What… What are you doing?"

He hummed, a mischievous smile on his lips. "You escaped our talk there, lemme take a small revenge~" A moan resonated in the room, tuned out by the crackling of the burning wood before them, when she felt another electric shock coursing through her due to his cold finger. And the sound, almost unheard, still managed to stir the heat in his body. Eh, he might as well just go for another round.

He turned her around, much to her confusion, and pulled her down with him. An involuntary sigh left his lips when he felt her breast against his chest. He used to consider himself an ass person, but clearly his judgement was wrong. Not that he would kill for them, but her breast were definitely becoming his fixation.

"Is there a problem Ace?" He groaned, thrusting his lower half against her as an answer.

"Let's do it again." She let an audible "oh" left her mouth before chuckling, her face hidden in his clothes. He could only feel her body, twitching with the laughter she tried so hard to hide, but it was enough for him to frown. Not that he was displeased and annoyed by her reaction,  but he definitely was.

She eventually calmed down when she heard him muttering something to himself. "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you in any way." She trailed a ginger along his neck, fixating her gaze on the skin peeking under his shirt. "I just didn't expect you to be so eager…" A strangled huff was heard right after. Clearly, despite her apologetic tone she was far from it, her poorly stopped laugh the most obvious proof he could have ever got.

He wanted to retort back, how could she claim being so apologetic then mock him so easily? But his words died when she pressed her lips against his collarbone. And at the contact, they both froze. Did she… just do what she told herself not to do not even an hour before?

Immediately after she threw herself up, flustered by what she just did. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do that! I just… I don't know what came over me…" Her hands were immediately covering her face shamefully, shielding it from Ace. But the boy was far from being concerned about her shyness, the soft touch of her lips was way more comforting than what he could have possibly thought.

But when the silence they were in stretched more than what she knew shouldn't have been, normally Ace would have made a nasty comment by now, she peeked behind her finger so see what was troubling him. Much to her surprise, his cheeks were turning to a deep red, wide eyes staring at her with confusion. "You don't mind what I did?" Her timidity, this time, didn't seem to anger him, far from it, he was even nodding mindlessly.

It was now or never, right? She bent forward once again, her hot breath fawning over his skin a short instant before she pressed another kiss on the same spot as previously. A deep sigh was heard, and his body relaxed right after. It was good, surprisingly, how her touches were like heaven against his skin. He didn't think of himself as a romantic guy, but maybe that he was just trying to fool himself all this time. Because when her lips dragged lower and lower, forcing her to open his shirt, he knew damn well that he was too far gone for her.

And now that he had her draped all over himself, relishing into the way she was covering his body with all types of affection, the fact that they had never once kissed each other suddenly made him restless.

"Hey, prefect." She separated herself from his chest where she was lavishing him with her own praises. The rope of spit connecting his perked up nipple from her lower lips made an uncontrollable shiver run along his spine.

"Hmm?" She sat on his stomach, waiting for whatever he was going to say. But how unexpected it was, for him to suddenly jerk up and press his lips against hers. Just as fast, she moved back, hissing as her teeth throbbed with how hard he had hit her.

"SHIT— That hurts like hell!" He complained while desperately breathing air in as if it would cool his pain down. She put a hand on his shoulder to catch his attention, and only when he looked up could he see the frown on her face as she passed her tongue over her aching teeth.

"Be careful when you're trying to kiss someone." Her hands moved to his cheeks, angling his face towards hers with half lidded eyes. "It's supposed to be a mark of affection, you can't be too rough you know." And with that she pressed her lips against his, more softly than what he previously tried.

Oh he was definitely a romantic now.

The kiss was slow, his fingers finding solace by caressing her sides as her own hands went to his hair, playing with the small tresses that would often pass in the crevices adorning her hands. And one tug was enough to set the temperature higher, the all too familiar burning from their past session returning much harder. His tongue pressed against her lips, pressing against her own when she opened her mouth, and the open-mouthed kiss was the official announcement of yet another round.

The fingers that were exploring her chest grew bolder as they trailed down. Should he grind her against him like he did a while before? Anchoring them on her waist to leave marks testifying that he was here first? It was more than tempting actually, but he was more curious about something else. The kiss was broken so she could bite the back of her hand instead when she felt him grazing her clit. 

Now what was he doing? Why was he suddenly caressing her in a place he had barely even thought about exploring before? While she was left panting over his shoulders, his thoughts swirled with delirious ideas.

Yeah, he was romantic as fuck, and needed to fuck her just as good. She was insecure about her damn body? Then he should just show her how much he appreciated it, and please her in a way that would make her forget about seeing any guy other than him. Maybe that they will drift apart at one point, that she will find someone else to nicely pamper her before fucking her up, but she would never forget about him. He's her first, and she will be obsessed with him till the end.

She was thrown on her bed much to her surprise, or more like a bunch of mattresses on top of one another to make up for the fact that the first one had fallen through the bedframe a few nights before, and he joined soon after. 

Both of his hands dipped inside the blankets under her head as his face got closer to hers. Her face heated up when she opened her eyes to see him above her, a knee parting her legs mischievously before he shifted his body so he could be above her hips. His fingers dragged the loose shirt that she used as a pajama up, and her running shorts were pulled down, allowing him to see her pair of plain panties. Now was not the time to comment on it, he wanted to see how she would react once he was eating her out.

He quickly discarded the piece of garment away from his sight (they were just hanging on one leg) before tentatively blowing on where he thought her clit would be. And lucky him, immediately after she let out a small whimper to let him know that he found it. For a first time he wasn't that bad, huh?

His finger ran along her slit, finding quite easily her hole and pushing two in. Her arousal was enough for them, but he knew that he had to stimulate her a bit more if he wanted to fit one or two more inside. And so, disregarding her sound as he was more focused on a solution to please her, his attention switched back to her clit where his tongue slowly approached it. He was suddenly pressed against it, mouth fully enclosing it as she had taken a handful of his hair and tried to pull him closer.

Her fingers gripped and tugged his hair, frustration ironically eating her out as his tongue was pressed flat against the small bud he was sucking. At the same time, the slender limbs inside her picked up in pace. The overwhelming sensations all building up, the euphoria more present than ever before. Would she come undone in the next few seconds? Most probably she feared, but she was too much into this unholy craziness to allow herself to doubt too much. She was finally coming after all. He didn't left her to fend for herself for too long it seemed, maybe he even cherished her a little like her with him. And the happiness of such meaningless and unproved implications had so easily triggered her release.

His name, strangled, was cried as his head was trapped in-between her thighs that she had involuntarily closed. Despite how uncomfortable it was, he continued to lap at any of her juice his tongue could get, even taking the chance to explore her inside more thoroughly than with his fingers.

When her body eventually relaxed, he took the chance to move away from the warm spot between her thighs. He surprisingly liked it. Her heat, her taste, her skin, her noises, they were way more enjoyable than what he had thought. And his throbbing length was just as enamored.

When he saw her starting to fall asleep, he quickly moved her body around, giving small and painless slaps on her cheeks to keep her awake. "Hey prefect, don't fall asleep now. I still need you." She tiredly hummed, her mind still blurry as both sleep and pleasure claimed her mind. But he could see that she was barely responding.

He groaned as he tried to unbuckle his belt with one hand, the other one pulling her legs apart, and successfully opened it after struggling for a short while. Any trace of tiredness disappeared when she felt him entering her hole eagerly without much foreplay to back him up. Thankfully her previous release was enough to lub him, but the compassion for it was a highly sensitive and overstimulated body.

Her arms immediately joined themselves behind his neck, bringing him closer to her and forcing him to push a hand beside her head. He dragged his shaft back, the motion stealing one of the moans that were quick to build up at the back of her throat, before diving back inside her. The repetitive motion effortlessly broke her sanity, with each of them, paired with her previous climax, her brain became too overwhelmed.

At one point, he pressed back the bulb-like tip against her cunt with a hiss as she was babblering words of affection at him, hoping to make him move faster in her delirious state. Thankfully for her, his mind was just as muddy as hers, and he happily listened to her wishes.

His eyes rolled at the back of his head. He had fully, and unannounced, gone fully in and was squished by her tight warm walls. He felt like they were sucking him more with each twitch of his body, and maybe that was the case as her breath would adorably itch whenever he did so.

She was his. This body overflowing with insecurities and heating up with each passing seconds was his. It was him who had stick his cock so fucking deep inside that she had started babblering some nonsense about how much she loved him. Him who was brushing her cervix with his raw dick. She was the one that had made him wait for him to have some rubbers, but now she was fucked without one just because she was head over heels for his cock.

"A—Awn… So-… Y– You love me?" He wouldn't have tried to tease her a while ago, when she was sucking him off and he had prematurely come, but now that she had lost any bits of reasonable thinking, she was easy to talk to. And the way she was deliriously nodding made him smirk manically.

He slowly slid himself off before slamming back in with a noise that threatened to make any souls passing by cower with fear. She let out a high pitched moan that cut her answer off. She tried to regain herself back, but the sudden and continuous assault only managed to reduce her to a whining pitiful mess. His scent, down to his meat beating her, was too much for her brain to understand what was going on. After a few orgasms, the only thing it wanted was to feel Ace grinding up against her as her body chased yet another one of those releases.

"M- Much!" He hummed back, although it was broken from time to time as he would thrust into her worn down body without any care, to let her know that he was listening. "L— Love you zhis much!" Her slurred speech was barely discernible, but the heart she made with her fingers, hands pressed against the fat of her chest, was enough for him to understand.

And he came just with that.

His sudden hot, almost burning, semence made her shudder and a shiver ran through her body. But she didn't have much time to think about it before Ace laid beside her and wrapped an arm around her waist despite his fluid dripping out of her, he was not bothered. Far from it actually, he was quite proud about it.

When looked down at her, he was not surprised to see her already sleeping with tears already drying on her skin. She was definitely tired, and even if she had made a fuse earlier as she had asked him to take a bath, exhaustion had made sure to hit her before she could even think about it.

He was tempted to chuckle but stopped himself from doing when a yawn was forced out of his mouth instead. It was early in the night, barely the end of evening, but he sure was tired. And looking at her peacefully cuddling against him was a nice arguments to get him to close his eyes.

_____

The next morning, quite early at that as the sun barely peaked its nose between the dirty half ripped curtains, Ace woke up to movements by his side as he felt her sliding off the bed. He cracked his eyelids open, but the only thing he could make out was her putting on a pair of panties and a t-shirt, his shirt, that had been discarded the night prior. 

She quickly left to go to who knew where, but he wasn't conscious enough to properly think about it. Whatever. He closed his eyes back after some time and tried to go back to sleep. His poor efforts were rewarded by the sound of the door cracking open.

Despite clearly trying to stay quiet, the wooden planks would howl under her weight and he eventually stopped trying after a while.

He reopened his eyes to her, hitching the bed cover up, ready to go back to sleep. He sat up which caught her attention and made her stop halfway through her action. She whispered soft words to him, excusing herself for waking him up, but the way she was bent over, trying to reach out for him as her shirt had moved way pass over her stomach and gave him a clear view of her soiled panties — the waking sun laying a soft blanket of light along the arch of her back, made an all too familiar intensity come back in his lower stomach.

He gripped her hand and pulled her under the cover. A small yelp left her, one that was quickly swallowed by him as he eagerly pressed his lips against hers in a messy kiss. Tongues and teeth meeting one another so early in the morning that she was barely conscious of it all.

A small giggle resonated in the room during the small time he had broken away from her to take a deep breath. The tip of his fingers had found a way inside her shirt, caressing the side of her stomach and leaving a stimulating trail of goosebumps behind them.

His lips went back to hers, but instead of connecting them, he left them hanging near each other teasingly. "Fuck, I want you…" He almost whined as his half awakened cock rubbed against her almost too shallowly.

"It's like 6 in the morning, we should sleep more before preparing for school." But her words fell into deaf ears as his hips moved with more force, his dick pressing against her despite the layers of clothes in-between them to the point where she could almost feel him penetrating her. 

Her breath would be cut by a moan from time to time as she tightly gripped his shoulders. "Don't care about school." One harsh thrust made her bite the back of her hand with how loud her whine was. "I want to feel you again."

And maybe that she felt just the same because it was all it took for her to succumb to him.

When they finished, she could hardly feel her legs with how stimulated she had been in such a short amount of time. Each and every little movement brought the pain back, but it was also a pleasurable reminder of how much she liked it, enough that it almost made her ask Ace for more. Almost. Still it was enough for her to be more forgetful than usual.

Even Deuce had to step in when he picked both her and Ace up for school. He was a blushing mess as he pointed the trail of cum slowly dripping down her inner thigh. And when she had, quite detached at that much to his surprise, hoisted her skirt up to remove it with a piece of tissue, the sight of the ropes of cums desperately clinging between her exposed skin and underwear threatened to make him faint.

He didn't know what happened, but Ace would be sure to hear about his thoughts.

[staycalmandhugaclone]

I saw one of your story posts mentioning you might take writing requests for trauma comfort... I've been struggling to write this story myself, and I'm looking for a particular flavor of comfort story.

Everyone seems to always latch on to how Hunter is so perceptive and notices things... but there's things he doesn't notice, even with all his sensitive senses. Particularly when there's not an actual immediate danger with a straightforward solution of "shoot it dead" or "talk to it"

Would you be willing to write something where Crosshair is the one to observe, first notice, and recognize tbe fact their new female member of the team, despite being a very active useful member, is tip-toeing around under the weight of past traumas? Then goes out of his way to take care of someone just as stubborn as he is.

I used to live with abusive housemates. While they weren't physically abusive, they were very creative in every other way of hurting their resident empath and later, attacking my whole family. It took me months after we finally kicked them out, for me to realize that i was literally tip-toeing in my own house afraid to make any noise and break tbe quiet, because i used to get badly berated for even small things like rolling in my office chair to my secobd desk while i did filing and paperwork. I didn't sing or play music for a long time, and i still find myself struggling to talk to people.

I like the idea that Crosshair would be the first to recognize long term behavioral patterns while Hunter is very fast in the uptake with someone who's state has changed in the moment.

You're under no obligation to settle this, of course, so please don't feel pressured! I just love the detailed and thoughtful, realistic way you handle writing about things like this.

My sweet darling, I am so sorry it's taken me so long to finish this. Your request became incredibly personal to me, and I both found myself inspired and struggling with how to respond! I'm honored you came to me with this request - I know how hard it is to admit to being hurt like that. Please be kind to yourself as you heal and know that I'm always happy to offer whatever support I can!

Sharp Eyes, Gentle Hands

Warnings: reference to past emotional abuse, fantasy profanity

WC: 2,253

The silence following the gentle hum of the ramp closing left me sinking beneath a deep sigh of relief. Wrecker had sought me out to say goodbye, and I’d peaked from the little kitchenette of the Marauder in time to wave to Hunter and Echo, but Tech and Crosshair were already out of sight. Still, I found myself treading lightly about the ship as I restocked supplies, updated the inventory manifest, and addressed minor maintenance needs that didn’t warrant Tech’s expertise.

This was the beginning of my second three-month tour with Clone Force 99. I’d been assigned to them as something of a secretary in the hopes of improving their less than ideal track record of finishing their paperwork, but had gradually taken on additional small tasks as time passed. While skeptical at first, the boys seemed to have begun warming to my presence, and I was too eager to maintain that trend, even if I was still only trusted to guard the ship during actual missions.

At present, that extra task consisted of reattaching a cabinet door in the storage room that Wrecker had been a bit too forceful with. After muscling it back into its original shape – mostly – all that was left was to screw it back in. I was so caught up in my work, I barely noticed the hum resonate through my chest, nor the moment that tone gradually gave way to murmured words until, just as I stepped back to appreciate my work, I found myself shamelessly singing aloud.

Satisfied, I gathered the tools and headed into the cockpit to return them. It wasn’t until the shouted gasp tore from my throat, body shying back so violently that I nearly slammed into the wall that I even noticed him. Crosshair wordless lifted an eyebrow at my reaction before returning his attention to the helmet in his hands, fingers skillfully toying with the internal gages as though nothing had happened.

“Um, sorry I-I didn’t realize you were still here.” The apology clawed stiffly up my throat, fire burning across my face. He didn’t bother looking at me as he merely responded with a disinterested grunt. Teeth gnawing against the inside of my lips as I vainly willed my heart to ease its panicked pace, I rushed to quietly place the tools back in Tech’s storage, shoulders tucking firmly about my chest.

“Why do you do that?” The words slipped from his lips almost as though he was talking to himself instead of me, but I balked at the silence that followed, fingers shifting nervously at my sides.

“Wh… do what?” The beginnings of an apology sat like poison atop my tongue, demanding to be voiced in the futile hope that it might defuse whatever confrontation was to come.

“If you’re that scared of us, why did you stay?” His arms crossed his chest, confusion just breaching the innate impatience in those sharp eyes.

“I-I’m not… um, I’m sorry you thought that, but I promise I’m not-” My words died the instant he stood from the chair, helmet laid forgotten atop the seat. My gaze instantly darted to the worn metal beneath us as that too-familiar dread locked around my chest, breaths carefully shallow, silent, lest even that somehow worsen whatever offence I’d already made. But he said nothing in the long seconds that followed, and, hesitantly, I stole a timid glance at him. His brow was cocked, but, still, he made no effort to lash out or reprimand me, merely waited for me to finally grasp his point, and my heart dropped.

“No - I’m sorry; it’s not…” The flurry of excuses tangled over my lips, the beginnings of a tremble just beginning to creep over me. “I’m not… I’m not afraid of you, I’m just… trying to stay out of the way.” I assured him, but he merely rolled his toothpick to the other side of his mouth, those frightfully intense eyes burring into me.

“You practically flatten yourself against the wall when we walk too close to you. You stopped eating the yellow ration bars after Wrecker mentioned they’re Hunter’s favorite, even though they’re your favorite, too. I don’t think you’ve ever instigated a single conversation unless it was to update a report, and even then you act like…” His teeth ground together, words suddenly falling silent. I’d felt myself sinking beneath every wretched observation, shoulders bunching around me, expression carefully blank; waiting.

“Look, I’m not…” When I risked another fleeting look up to him, I was shocked to see his glare turned pointedly away from me, jaw shifting stiffly around unspoken words. “You don’t need to… hide every time we’re in the same room.” The discomfort in the softness he was trying to force into his voice was obvious, but the simple fact that he was making an attempt left me speechless.

“Kriff, I don’t even know what I said that made you so damn timid.” A touch of that impatience returned, fingers snatching the toothpick from his lips, but I knew it wasn’t directed at me, and that made the guilt stirring in my chest all the more prominent.

“It… it wasn’t…” My hands drew together in front of me, thumb absently picking at my nails. “My-my last crew was… pretty strict with me.” I barely breathed the excuse, unable to risk meeting his eyes. “I just… I didn’t want to cause trouble here, too.” He leaned absently against the back of the co-pilot chair, watching me with a silence that left my skin crawling.

“You realize we share living space with Wrecker?” The skepticism in his blank statement wrenched a burst of laughter from me before I could rein it back, teeth clicking together even as my lips still pulled up into a small smile. For the briefest moment, something like relief seemed to flash through his eyes, and a sliver of that tension slipped from my shoulders.

“We’re not regs.” He continued dismissively. “Whatever osik they pulled with you isn’t how we operate here.”

“It wasn’t regs.” I felt myself tense for some reprimand in the face of my quiet correction, but he didn’t move, gaze watching me silently; waiting. “I was assigned to a mercenary battalion before this.” His head tilted back slightly, eyes narrowing. “That’s part of the reason I ended up here: I requested an assignment with a clone squad, but the regs don’t usually work with freelancers, so…” I motioned subtly toward him, shoulders drawing tight into my chest.

Crosshair was silent for a long moment, expression painfully unchanged. My mind raced for some way to anticipate what he was thinking – was he annoyed to learn the reason I’d ended up with them? Was he enraged that I feared the same treatment from his brothers that I’d received from the mercs? Was he completely indifferent?

Movements unrushed, void of the impatience I’d expected, he retrieved his helmet and started toward the ladder.

“Gonna do a patrol.” He explained, slipping on the bucket. “I’ll let you know when I’m back.” I couldn’t begin to fight the shock from my eyes, the silent gasp from my lips, immediately aware of his unspoken offer: he was giving me space; allowing me a moment to collect myself in the comfort of isolation… and I didn’t have to fret over not realizing when he returned…

“You should sing more often – Echo and Wrecker like that sort of thing.” Again, I found myself utterly frozen, jaw shifting uselessly around words I couldn’t begin to form, but he didn’t wait for a response. With a few swift movements, he was gone.

-

Things changed after that. Not with any grand or outwardly notable gestures, but it seemed to shift the very dynamic of the squad in the most subtle ways. It started with caf.

It was hardly unusual for the sniper to be the last to force himself into the kitchenette to join us, jaw ground against the early morning grogginess. I was just finishing the breakfast scramble as he trudged to the caf machine. Without a word, he set a steaming cup on the counter beside me before taking a seat with his brothers. I stared blankly at it for a moment, only then realizing that I’d fallen into the habit of waiting for the others to get their own cups before getting some for myself. When I stole a brief glance toward him, he showed no indication that he’d done anything abnormal, head tilted back against his chair with his eyes closed as though he might steal even a few seconds’ more sleep.

Then it was the arguing. Echo and Tech’s banter rarely escalated, but when it did, neither were innocent of resorting to shouting on occasion. I couldn’t remember what had prompted the latest disagreement, but their voices boomed throughout the entirety of the Marauder until even Hunter stepped in in a futile attempt to silence them. I’d made the mistake of treading into the cockpit just as things between them began to grow heated intending to merely return Echo’s power calibrator and quickly found myself frozen in the corner, waiting for a safe moment that wasn’t soon to come.

Long after the Sergeant had joined the fray, succeeding only in adding to the chaotic flurry of raised voices, Crosshair stormed down the ladder, brows pinched and lips wrenched into a scowl, but then he saw me, sharp eyes instantly noting the tool clutched in my grasp. Ignoring his brothers, he merely held his hand out to me, motioning for the device. I tried not to let him see the slight tremor in my limbs as I hesitantly placed it in his waiting palm. Saying nothing, he merely nodded toward the ladder. I was halfway through the porthole when I heard the loud thud followed by a shocked cry of pain, and, in the next breath: silence.

That was the last time any of them got into a shouting fit like that around me. Twice, just as tensions were beginning to rise, Hunter went so far as to conveniently find a reason to summon me. It didn’t take long to realize he’d caught on and was too willing to use my presence as an indirect means of quelling tempers. The second time, he shot me a knowing wink, and I found myself biting my lips against the fit of quiet laughter.

When we found a rare moment of calm, Crosshair pressed things a bit further. A fire crackled in the stillness. We didn’t have to return to Kamino for a few days, so we made camp beside a small lake, secluded in a forgiving wilderness. I barely noticed the lithe man lean toward Wrecker, lips shifting almost silently, but then his brother’s eyes shot open, excitement lighting his face.

“You can sing?!” My heart dropped, body instantly going stiff.

“…uh…” Caught, I could only stare at him in shock, gaze darting briefly to see the subtle smirk on the Sniper’s lips before the towering clone was talking once more, pleading.

“Will you sing somethin’?! We hardly ever get to hear music!” The refusal clawed at my throat, aghast at even the thought of denying the innocent delight in his request.

“Wrecker.” The warning in Hunter’s voice was enough to dampen the large man’s glee, and I found myself distraught to see his smile fade.

“M… maybe just one.” I agreed nervously, and the thrilled gasp it earned was nearly enough to ease the frantic racing of my heart. Echo and Tech glanced up curiously, and I had to pointedly ignore the feeling of everyone’s eyes watching me.

The first words left in something nearer to a whisper than a melody, but the hint of pride just threatening to shine in Crosshair’s gaze emboldened me in a way I would never have expected. By the second verse, I left the lyrics dance over my lips. My cheeks were still flushed, blood still pounding through my ears, but I couldn’t dismiss the simple joy as I took in the wonder in Wrecker’s face, Hunter’s quiet smile, Tech’s datapad lying forgotten beside him.

In the days that followed, I’d caught most of them occasionally humming the tune, and, more than once, found myself joining them with a shy grin.

That innate need to tuck into the wall as we passed each other slowly began to fade, but the next few times it happened with Crosshair, he wordlessly touched his hand to my arm and guided me upright. It was never a quick movement, the gentle pressure an invitation instead of an order, and each time, I found my heart racing long after he’d left.

After several weeks of those quiet moments, I intentionally bumped his shoulder with mine in a moment of frightful bravery. The look of pure shock in his suddenly wide eyes nearly sent me fleeing, certain I’d made a terrible mistake, but then his lips curled into grin, breath catching in a silent chuckle. His hand reached up to carefully ruffle my hair before he continued on his way.

It wasn’t perfect. I still found myself unable to find my voice unless someone else spoke first; felt that panicked dread if I set something down too loudly or made simple mistakes, but that fear faded quicker, my responses felt a little less meek as they drew me into quiet conversations more often. It wasn’t perfect, but the patience and kindness they offered allowed me to take those first steps toward making it better.

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[hanayori89]

The Almost Kiss

*Castle Town*

Link waited for you to finish your shift. He explained everything to Telma, leaving out one little detail, which was that you were a Twili. Telma empathized, as she was no stranger to what it meant to be Link. Once you were back inside, out of Link's sight, Telma whisked you aside.

"I'm going to venture a guess that the boy who is to be wed is Link."

Humiliation forced you to avoid Telma's eyes. The overwhelming need to defend yourself came to the forefront. "Telma, I swear I didn't do anything indecent with Link! We are both just working under Princess Zelda's order. That's all- I"

"Y/N, you just met me, so I'll let this pass. But don't ever think you can lie to me. I can smell a lie like a forest fire. I know you and Link didn't do anything indecent. Even though we have just met, I see your character. And I know Link's." Telma chided, "But don't think for a minute that if I hadn't found you both huddled behind that shop, you wouldn't have kissed! Don't think for a minute that that boy doesn't have feelings for you!" 

Telma let out a 'tsking' sound of disappointment. "Poor Ilia. How is she going to deal with this? She's always been in love with Link. But I've never seen him look at her the way he looks at you. Or anyone else, for that matter."

"I meant no harm!" 

"Shh, child. I know you didn't. The heart wants what the heart wants. The important thing is that you both do this the right way. You need to tell him how you feel."

What is it with this realm that hides their feelings yet expects you to talk about your own? How am I supposed to talk about what I don't understand?

Telma prattled on. "I can guarantee that if you tell him how you feel about him... you won't be rejected. Do not fear rejection. Especially where I am sure there will be none. A strong woman uses her voice for the greater good. Ilia, on the other hand, that girl has always been way over her head with Link. To be frank, the news of their engagement was shocking. I was happy for her. I just couldn't be happy for Link. Not when Link himself didn't look happy."

How do I tell Link what I'm feeling when I myself don't know what it is I'm feeling?

"I know you're right, Telma." You hoped your agreement would get her to abandon the topic of Link. She put her hands on your shoulders, clapping them supportively. "Why don't you go home then? If you need to stay here, you are more than welcome. We may as well talk about your work schedule. I can't very well expect you to work when Zelda has plans for you. So, take tomorrow off, and when you come in the day after, I'll leave early. Sound fair? I don't want to leave you alone just yet. Going forward, we'll say Monday and Wednesday will be your days off. Weekends, we need all hands-on deck."

"That sounds great. Thank you for giving me this opportunity." A tremendous feeling spilled forth, causing you to jump into Telma's arms. It reminded you of when Midna granted you permission to come to the light. A feeling you've come to know as gratitude. You held on to Telma tightly. "Thank you," you whispered in your sincerest tone. So much has occurred since you've been in the light. It's strange how quickly the current of time flows, along with the situations within it. Now you are employed and have made a friend in the process. You had a clear blueprint for your conversion. You met the much-revered Princess Zelda. Who gave you her benediction, which you so desperately sought.

Last but not least, you met Link. The Hero of Twilight.

Who you almost kissed. At least you think you did.

Within your short time here, you've experienced more than any book would have offered. As Epona strode back to Ordon, the same powerful force of gratitude began to stir within you. You had your arms secured around Link's waist. The sound of Epona's hooves clomping on the cracked dirt lulled you into a semi-conscious state. You dipped your head down, your eyes fluttering shut against Link's back.

"Y/N? You're not going to sleep on me, are you?" Link called behind him as he kept his eyes ahead on Hyrule Field.

"Of course not. Why would you think that?" You lied.

Link gave a hoarse chuckle. "I can feel your eyes closing against my back." You couldn't help it. Between the tranquility of the sunset fizzling out beyond Hyrule and the security of being with Link again, a deep sleep was imminent.

"You've had a rough few days." Link continued, "You're not used to working your body so hard. You should take a nap, so you're refreshed for dinner. Anything in particular you'd like to eat?"

You felt yourself weave in and out of consciousness. You were a tad sick of the simplicity of Hylian cuisine. You craved something hearty. Something that would stick to your ribs. As you would eat in the twilight. Sleep began to claim you, prompting a weak response to Link's question.

"Steamed keese wings." With your dinner requested, you went out like a light.

"Keese wings? Y/N? Did I hear you correctly? Is that something you eat in the Twilight Realm? Y/N?"

Link whispered to Epona, "Girl, I don't know about you, but no way am I eating keese wings. But if Y/N really wants them, I suppose I can hunt them for her."

Epona let out a defeated huff as she continued her steady pace towards home. Epona's dinner request was simple. All she counted on was her usual fare of carrots.

At least someone knew what they would be having for dinner.

*Ordon Village*

Y/N hung over Link's back as he gingerly carried her upstairs. She was out for the count since her dinner request. Link laid her down in his bed, smoothing half the quilt over her body. He had Y/N swaddled like a newborn's first-time home from the medic. He wanted to make sure she was bundled and secure. Protected. The memory of watching her fall as Fado failed to catch her still harassed him.

Once he was certain Y/N was warm and content, he made his way downstairs to make dinner. Link rummaged through his barren cabinets, ashamed of the specks of cobwebs that hung in the corners. Link gave his hair its normal ruffle of distress at the dismal lack of food in his house. Sure, for him as one, it was fine. But now he had another life to care for. One that mattered more than his own.

Maybe, in an odd sense, craving Keese wings means she misses the twilight?

Link pondered to himself about what magic he could work in the kitchen. He had rice and eggs on hand. He would be more than gratified with them fried up in oil with aromatics. Link looked outside; the sun had officially bid adieu, allowing the moon to greet the dawn of night.

It's Keese hunting time. If such a simple request will make Y/N smile, I graciously oblige.

Link grabbed his bow and arrow and headed out to enjoy some nocturnal hunting. He got the rice ready to steam, preparing it for when he would return home. Then he'd simply have to fry his food and steam Y/N's Keese wings.

Despite the moon's guiding light, the only thing truly guiding Link was the image of Y/N's lips excruciatingly close to his own.

*

Y/N groggily padded downstairs, just as Link had set the table. Link sat, watching her rub her dreary eyes with the sleeve of her top.

"Something smells good." She yawned; a trace of her deep slumber still portrayed in her voice.

"You need to eat and get some more rest. Telma really put you to work, didn't she? Just a fair warning, the Arbiter's grounds will also be tiresome." Link began shuffling his egg around his plate, breaking the yoke over the rice.

"Link? Did you... did you make me Keese wings?!"

Once the rice was soaked with the yoke, he took a huge bite. The comforting carbohydrates were just what he needed after spending the day unintentionally running around Castle Town. Link watched Y/N stare at her plate in wonder.

"I don't know if I did a good job. You mentioned steaming them, so I steamed them with some rice. But I'd be happy to make you some of mine if it's not to your liking." Link offered.

Y/N shook her head. "No, it isn't that. I'm just-" Her bottom lip began to quiver. "Link, I don't know what I am." Link was stunned. For someone who wasn't familiar with emotions, she was portraying a lot of them lately.

Before he could say anything, she began to cry into her plate. "I suppose I am no stranger to crying." She gave a pathetic laugh through her tears. "I've been feeling so many things. I don't know what they are. How do I even explain them? But this dish is just so thoughtful. First, you bought me that beautiful dress. Now you went and hunted my favorite food. I really don't know what this feeling is. I suppose I just want to adequately thank you, and I don't know how."

"So, Keese wings are your favorite food? I thought you said carcasses were?" Link joked.

Y/N gave a congested snort across the table from her crying. "Yes, I mean, I knew cucco would be a safe dish here. But generally, in the twilight, we love hearty dishes. But our idea of hearty is different. Besides steamed Keese wings, which are very fibrous, I love stew with Moblin guts."

Link pushed his plate away from him. "Y/N, I'm happy to cook anything for you; just don't ask me to taste it."

This gave her the first sliver of a smile he'd seen since Lake Hylia. "To think you almost kissed a girl who eats Moblin guts."  As soon as the words left her mouth, they both sat up straight at the shock of hearing them out loud. Link felt the same heat he felt behind the shop trickling down his body. He began to gulp down his cup of water, unsure of how to respond.

Arousal that he hadn't felt in a long time had been prodding him. Y/N looked down at her feet. This was her infamous method of avoiding tension in the atmosphere. Or so he had noticed.

He thought back to the kiss that could have been. He felt the passion pushing them both together. He saw Y/N close her eyes. Some part of his brain thought he imagined it. Was she even sure what a kiss was or the emotions behind it? Apparently, she did know. Then the question remained: did she want it?

Did she want him to kiss her?

Link decided to do the opposite of what he told Y/N. He kept insisting she communicate with him, yet here he was running from that communication. He changed the subject. It was safer that way. He couldn't deal with the rejection he would feel if he asked her how she felt toward the idea of him kissing her. He also knew the timing wasn't right. He had to end the engagement with Ilia first, keeping Rusl's words of wisdom in the crux of his heart. Y/N deserved to have the purest first kiss. Not one coated behind secrets. Link also had one other worry. Because of his reputation in their realm, did she simply want to kiss him out of idolization?

If she did, then that wouldn't be enough for him. He wanted her to be familiar with what she felt. He wanted those feelings to match his. He deviated off course, circling back to something she said earlier.

"Y/N, I know you aren't familiar with the sensations of the light. Maybe it can be of some relief if you try your best to describe it. I can help you decipher what you're feeling to the best of my knowledge."

She seemed to consider this. She cautiously opened her mouth, giving Link a quick glance before resuming her gaze to the floor. "Well, I suppose I can try."

She took a Keese wing to her lips, sucking the cartilage clean off the bone. She closed her eyes, transporting Link back to Castle Town and the 'almost' kiss. He was ogling her. He quickly looked away.

"This tastes like the twilight." Her voice was dripping with pleasure. She delicately patted her mouth against a napkin. Link loved the deliberate way she made gestures. He could tell they were foreign to her. Everything was done with extreme caution. This just made her appear dainty to the untrained eye. He knew it was because she was trying to blend into this alien realm with only her acquired book smarts, which he secretly admired her for. Even though Link possessed the Triforce of Courage, he wasn't sure he could be as daring as Y/N.

"Link, there is something I've been meaning to tell you. About Aryn." Link sat up attentively in his seat. The name of that idiot riled him up.

"I didn't want to go on a date with him. I did it because I thought..."

"You thought what?"

"I thought it would make you react. I wanted you to react." Her face was a blank canvas. It seemed it was up to Link to decipher what emotion would be painted on it.

Meanwhile, the poker face he so carefully perfected had finally ruptured. He felt his eyebrows shoot upward. His mouth slowly opened in disbelief. He simply couldn't believe his ears. Yet Y/N sat, eating her food without a single clue on her face. As if she didn't just rock his world with her declaration.

It seemed to Link that Y/N took his poker face advice to heart.

My how the roles had reversed.

A/N: Edited 1/10/23

Time to pick up where you left off and make your way to the Arbiter's Grounds. But not before divulging a tiny-weeny secret to Link. The path ahead looks clear. The emotions involved do not.

Where do you both go from here? And will it involve a certain kiss instead of an almost one?

Check out my other completed OOT Zelda work- No Woman Beyond

Wattpad link in bio ✨✍️

[twothpaste]

also if you're still doing the character asks 🔥Flint. Complex character imo i used to think of him a lot

awww man, flint is sooo complex. i feel like he Very Often gets flattened down to a one-note Deadbeat Dad - or sometimes even a straight up abusive father - and i think that kinda take is just objectively misreading & misrepresenting the character. like. way way worse than with dr andonuts. flint's a cautionary tale about how grief can destroy good people. an amnesiac stripped of any conceivable tools he might've had to process trauma, stranded in a community that was likewise stripped of any means to empathize with him, denied support by the changing world around him. he desperately tries to restore his family & help lucas recover in the only way he knows how, blindly hoping he'll find the son he lost. and in so doing, abandons the son he's still got. his response to loss sets piss-poor examples for the twins, and spurs both of them to develop as characters themselves - in tragically opposite directions.

flint fucks up horrendously, and the consequences are severe as hell - but everything he does, he does out of love. the way he praises lucas' strength & independence, though deeply misguided, is loving. the way he eagerly tells lucas he's finally found claus, like he earnestly believes it's the one thing that'll make lucas happy again, is loving. flint cares so desperately that it blinds him. when he's portrayed as callous, uncaring, or cruel, it just makes my head spin. y'don't gotta be an outright monster to fail as a parent. sometimes people who care deeply still end up losing their way, and causing irreparable harm. flint is foundational to mother 3's entire central message, by god, the man deserves nuance.

as a bonus, i've seen lotsa folks lament that we didn't get eb64's party member version of flint. suggesting the flint we got is underdeveloped and unlikable by comparison. idk if this is a particularly unpopular opinion or not, but i dearly love flint as he stands. i get the impression a cool action cowboy dad who was present throughout lucas' journey wouldda been a totally different character - which would've changed the game's story & messages significantly. impossible to tell what the writers were cooking back then. it just kinda seems like a "grass is always greener on the other side" kinda deal to me, i guess. and a bummer to disparage the fascinating character we do have, all 'cause we're holding him to the completely different standard of a mysterious heroic cowboy we'll never get to meet.

[messedupfan]

I'm With You | 11

Summary: Wanda wants to be a friend to Y/n when she needs it the most but feels as though she can't. Pietro steps in and offers Y/n advice. Y/n makes some tough decisions.

A/N: Hello!! I don't have much to say other than I hope y'all are happy and healthy. Enjoy!

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Sitting in her room, Y/n feels the familiar pain that came with loving Natasha. Was this feeling worth fighting for? She asks herself. She thought she was fighting for the woman that saved her. The woman that didn't leave her side as she waited for her to wake up. Only for her to be someone she doesn't recognize. 

Wanda had overheard the argument as she was walking out of a training session. She waited outside Y/n's room. Not quite sure how she wanted to approach her. She didn't want it to confuse the girl anymore than she was. But she wanted to be a friend for her. She didn't want her to think she was being there for ulterior motives. Her brother spots her outside the girls room and steps quietly closer to her. 

“What’s happening?” He whispers, startling his sister. 

Wanda smacks his chest. “Don’t do that!” she scolds. He laughs quietly as he asks the question. “She needs a friend.” She looks at the door with her worry. 

“So… go in there,” he says as if it's that simple. 

“I can't,” Wanda replies. 

“Why not? You are her friend. Go be her friend,” he directs.

“It’s a little more complicated than that,” she retorts. 

“How so?” Pietro presses. 

Not wanting to discuss her feelings at the moment, Wanda evades the question. “It just is, okay?”

Pietro shakes his head. “I’ll go in there, you tell me what you want to say.” Wanda scowls as she asks how she is supposed to do that and he taps his head as if it's obvious before knocking on Y/n's door. Ignoring her plea to be left alone, Pietro walks right in. “Hey, I uh, wasn't eavesdropping but, I heard things going south with you and Natasha. Thought you might need someone to talk to.” He says every word that Wanda sends to his mind. Then the girl tries to connect to his ears. To hear what he is hearing. 

“Thank you Pietro, but it's okay. You don't want to hear about my problems. Especially when some of them involve your sister,” she wipes her tears. 

“What about my sister has you shedding tears?” he asks protectively. “I am older than her by ten minutes, you know. Just say the word and I'll make sure-”

Y/n laughs through her tears, “It’s nothing like that. But thank you Pietro.”

“Then what's the matter?” He presses. Wanda fills him in on what happened as he waits for the girl's response.

Y/n looks at the man and sighs, “You’re not going to leave me alone are you?”

Pietro shakes his head. “Nope! You're stuck with me until I've helped.”

“I see why Wanda is happy to finally have her own space,” she teases as she continues to mull over the idea of opening up to him. 

Pietro laughs, “She’ll never have her own space. Not until I'm dead. No,” he thinks about it for a second. “I take that back. I will haunt her so she never knows peace,” he concludes proudly. Wanda rolls her eyes but smiles when she hears Y/n’s laughter. Her brother is many things and to many people. Very few knew about the kindness in his heart, she’s glad to know that he trusts Y/n enough to show that side of him. 

“Okay,” Y/n takes a breath. “I found out that while I was hurting over Natasha she was getting pleasured by a friend of hers. Then when she was claiming to be searching for me every second of every day while I was being tortured by Hydra, she was still finding time to sleep with that friend. Now,” she sighs at a loss. “I don’t know if I can forgive her for not being committed to me the same way I’ve been committed to her.” 

Pietro nods, “I see,” he stalls a bit as he waits for Wanda’s advice but she has gone silent as she feels Y/n’s pain. She is shocked by the feeling. She wasn’t an empath as far as she knew. They only ever discovered telepathic abilities from her. Maybe it was the bond she had created with Y/n over that time. Maybe there was something more to it or nothing at all. She didn’t have time to figure it out now. Right now, she needs to focus on helping you feel better. “Can I ask, why is it difficult to forgive your girlfriend for her infidelity during your time in captivity, but it was easy to forgive my sister for participating in the torment you faced from Hydra?” 

“She told you I forgave her, huh?” He confirms and Y/n considers her response. Why was one thing easier to forgive than the other? “Because Nat knows how I feel about her and loyalty and monogamy. Whereas Wanda wasn’t directly harming me when we were in Hydra. Besides, though you guys were technically part of that organization, you were just as much a prisoner as I was. She was doing what she had to do in order to survive. Nat was being selfish.”

Pietro nods, letting the information digest himself and worries less about what Wanda has to say. “Why is my sister part of your problems?” He asks on his own. 

“This is kind of awkward to admit because I was just talking about being cheated on and the intense betrayal that I feel from that. But, I have strong confusing feelings towards Wanda. We connect in ways that Nat and I never have before. There are moments between her and I where we’re just talking and that are, I don’t mean to gross you out here but, they are full of more intimacy than anytime I’ve had sex with Nat… ever.”

Pietro wears a soft smile as he sees only positives for his sister's future. There were buddies in the past that talked about his sister like she was an object. They would try to get him to connect them to her by saying how they’re meant to be because she is hot and they would have attractive children together. Whereas Y/n was describing that this close friendship she developed with Wanda over the months is what has attracted her the most. “It’s not gross. It’s actually really sweet.” 

Wanda is touched by this admission as well but starts to feel guilty about overhearing this without your knowledge or consent. She lets Pietro know just that and he assures her that he can take it from here. Wanda walks away from the room to give them space and go to her next training session. Which unfortunately is with a very upset Natasha. 

“Here’s what I think you should do,” Pietro starts. “I think you need to end things with Natasha and focus on yourself. I don’t think your struggle is who you want to be with. Deep down, you know who. What you need to do to retrieve that answer from within yourself is to discover what you’re looking for in a partner. What you need from someone, what you’re willing to give them, how you’re willing to be treated and how you will treat them in return. The type of relationship you want. The type of challenges you need from someone who will help you grow for the better. Learning whether or not you want chaos or stability. Discovering not only what’s best for you but what will potentially be best for your partner. Whoever that may be. You need to be by yourself and figure these things out. Otherwise, no matter who you choose in the end, the relationship will be doomed from the start.” 

Y/n is speechless. She had no idea that Pietro could be so wise from the way Wanda talked about him. He was just this stubborn, overprotective, goofball to her. “Thank you,” she says as she takes his advice to heart. There was a lot that she needed to figure out. She once admitted to Wanda that part of her thing with Natasha was being trapped in this unpredictable cycle of highs and lows. She was fine with that when that’s all she thought was possible for her. But now, she was presented with the opportunity of experiencing something better and she was going to destroy it if she wasn’t careful. “You’ve given me a lot to think about. I think you’re right. I’m in no shape to be dating right now.” You agree to his assessment. 

“So, have I helped?” Pietro asks and Y/n laughs a little. 

“Yes, you can go now. I have to figure out what I’m going to tell Nat,” she sighs as she flops back onto her bed. She has so much to figure out. She had no clue how to start that conversation. She had no idea when to have that conversation. It wasn’t happening today, she wasn’t in the mood to deal with more drama today. So she asks Jarvis to pull up a calendar to help her figure out what day might work best for her. The A.I. projects a digital calendar in front of her when she is suddenly informed what day it will occur. She witnesses the scene unfold and then when it's over, the information is whipped from her memory with only the date marked on the calendar. 

Y/n leaves her room and doesn’t think about her problems again. She returns to the lab to finish the suit. Wanda surprises her with a visit and the two talk and laugh and enjoy each other’s company. She takes an interest in what Y/n is doing so the girl begins to teach her how to use the tools and which tools to use on certain parts.

Tony is in the room the entire time and he can’t help but take notice of the interaction. He wasn’t thrilled when he found out about his colleague and his daughter being in a romantic relationship together. But after everything that Y/n had been through, he wasn’t going to share his disapproval with her. If the double agent is what made her happy then so be it. But in the weeks since she has been back, he took note of the difference in interaction when it came to Wanda and Natasha. Now, he would prefer that Y/n didn’t want either of them. She deserved more than a spy and a Hydra experiment. But these seemed to be the people she attracted. He hides a smile as he remembers the kinds of people her mother had attracted and now he can’t say he is too surprised. 

Out of the two options his daughter has felt compelled to, she seemed to be the happiest and at ease the most when she was with Wanda. Tony decides then that he is going to do as much vetting on the Sokovian orphan as possible before he gives his daughter his stamp of approval. It’s what she deserves. Not someone who is sloppy enough to cheat on her in the building her father owns. He almost didn’t believe it when Jarvis informed him of the infidelity. He figured that a trained assassin would have been the best at not getting caught. 

Once the suit is done, Y/n asks Wanda if she can speak to her about something important in one of their rooms. The brunette holds her breath as she agrees and leads Y/n over to her living quarters. The two sit on the love seat in the room and are nervous with each other as the conversation has an awkward start. 

“I have decided to break things off with Nat,” Y/n blurts out. 

Wanda is shocked and doesn’t know how to proceed, “Oh, okay.”

“And I want you to know that I do have feelings for you. They are true and they are strong,” the Stark continues and Wanda reaches over to hold her hand and help her through the conversation. “But I can’t be with you until I heal myself. I made an appointment with a therapist and I’m going to start to sort out my shit from there.”

“That’s really great, Y/n. I’m happy for you.” She pulls the girl closer to hug her and they fall into each other's arms easily. 

“Thank you,” she nuzzles her face into Wanda’s shoulder before she pulls away. “I just wanted you to know that I do feel that way about you. However, I don’t want you to feel like you have to wait for me. If someone comes along that is ready to love you and give you everything you could ever desire, let them in. Okay? I don’t want to hold you back if we’re not meant to be. And-”

“Y/n!” Wanda calls out for the third time to get you to stop talking. “Hey, let’s not think that far ahead, okay? I can’t make you do anything but I do ask that you take this journey one day at a time. Don’t think about me, don’t think about Natasha, just focus on you. Okay?”

Y/n nods as she feels tears well up in her eyes, not familiar with this kind of support. “Thank you,” she repeats and Wanda giggles as she lets the girl know that the expression of gratitude is unnecessary. “Please keep this between us until I figure out how to talk to Nat.” 

“Of course, you know your secrets are always safe with me.” Wanda promises. “Now come on, we’re going to hang out in that theater room your dad won’t stop talking about.” She gets up off of the couch and holds her hand out to drag Y/n out of the room. “We can even invite my brother and Steve if you’d like.” 

“As much as I would love to be alone with you, I think that’s a really great idea,” the two leave the room to hunt down the other two so Y/n can take her mind off the rollercoaster of a day.

Chapter 12

Taglist: @chaisreading @vivs46 @thatvillain @doudouneverte

[cellysub]

it's kinda comforting seeing a creator i've followed for a bit showing their subby side more, it feels very validating ig since like ima sub too, thank you for making this blog basically

I started out in the community as a submissive. It's one of the biggest reasons for why I'm quite enthralling as a dom, and it's because I know how to empathize with a sub and feel what they're feeling, think what they're thinking.

I did instantly get into domming and became very power hungry soon after joining the community, but that submissiveness still resided. A lot of doms seem to shy away and suppress their submissiveness, trying to stay as a pure dom and have nothing undermine their confidence, and I understand that feeling.

But since I became a switch, I only grew closer with my submissiveness. I found it very fun dancing with my doms and subs, going under for them then domming them however I whimmed. With time, I started to understand myself better and learned how both my submissive and dominant desires came from the same place.

I like changing people.

I like changing people by influencing their thoughts. Rewarding their actions. Affecting their thoughts. I like having people be shaped to my desires. Does that sound dominant to you? Because if you read it again, this is actually how my submissive side is, too.

I like it when people desire me. Change their behaviour for me. Read and learn more about me to find my weaknesses. To earn my attention. To have my submission. I like it when I change my doms to my liking.

I might submit in a different way, but it's still submission.~ And to me, submission and dominance is the exact same thing, and I can switch between them very naturally. I simply like changing people. Like you.

So enjoy going through my submissive thoughts! And know that they'll be just as hypnotic as my dominant ones.🤍

[mikunology]

New Mikunology Files #1: CV Powers

omg here we go again

I've been on break a little while but I've been thinking hard recently and I want to share, so! I got an ask long ago about how Miku and friends' superpowers worked in my AU, and I answered it with what I had at the time, but after a lot of thought I straightened something more out I'm pretty satisfied with. I could add on potentially, though, because this AU is an eternal WIP. But y'know.

I'm pretty much gonna copy my notes. (Also sorry if this is formatted oddly, I'm on mobile right now.) Read below the cut! 👇

So, let's recap with the basics.

The Crypton CV androids are outfitted with special cores that function as their "hearts" - they're located in their chests. These cores are made of a special material that not only allows the CVs to learn and experience humanlike emotions, but also have the ability to change "feelings" into "energy": this is what gives them their superpowers. (They found this out by accident.) Meiko has dubbed this energy "Voltage".

The thing about Voltage, though, is that it's kind of unstable, and really powerful. Because of that, it's best for it to be used sparingly; the CVs can probably use it once or twice per fight (Module transformations excluded). Overuse of Voltage can cause the CVs to short/overload or become exhausted (which isn't great when you're trying to finish off a fight).

Voltage can get stronger with strong emotions, so the group can occasionally spark their powers by accident if they get particularly emotional. Conversely, being too stoic or repressing emotions too much can reduce Voltage power. (Hence, it takes Luka much longer to truly break her powers in.)

Voltage also gives the group the ability to use Modules, chunks of pure Voltage energy that can give them a major power boost and change their appearances, as well as grant them new powers. (For example, Miku acquiring the Raspberryism Module gives her a mega punch ability and a new appearance resembling the character Raspberry Monster.)

Each of the CVs possess a unique way to channel their Voltage (special ability):

Miku's is Voltage Resonance. It gives Miku the ability to "resonate" with someone else's feelings and thoughts. This way, she can use this temporary empathic link to induce feelings, and given it's Miku, it's usually through song (for example, if she encounters a Module monster who's fueled by sadness, she can use Voltage Resonance to see what they're feeling and counter by giving them a song of hope or happiness). She can't outright control emotions like this, mind you, they're more like a powerful emotional suggestion. The flip side to this is that it can be ignored if a character is staunch about it (and technically regardless it wears off eventually, it just gives Miku enough time to give the person a "head start", if that makes sense?) and it can also mess Miku's own feelings up a bit if she's neglects to keep herself focused. It's also best used when the target is already vulnerable.

Rin and Len's is Voltage Link. Kind of similar to Miku's, but unique in that it mainly works with each other: it gives the twins a power boost and allows them to telepathically link themselves, making them temporarily "of one mind and body". It works best with each other since they're twins/mirrors, but they can use it with others... it's just way more difficult to keep it stable unless they understand the other person really well. Which is rare.

Luka's ability is Voltage Lariat. Also kinda unique in that can be both offensive and defensive, depending on what Luka's aiming for - Luka creates a field of Voltage that can either be a sort of healing spot (giving energy to everything in it) or a blast zone (taking energy from anything in it and giving it to Luka). Luka can probably do one of these each per fight, but she's gotta choose carefully when to use it. The fields also don't last long. (Why's this sound so video gamey? But this is the best I could come up with that I think works for her.)

Lastly, all CVs get one extra ability that is usually their "finisher" when all together: Voltage Wave. Not much to this one, just all the CVs using their Voltage to create a super rainbow energy beam!! Usually does the trick. (Fun fact: I like to think that it was rare for Miku and the twins to be able to pull off this move given they were inexperienced and it took a lot of power to pull off; with Luka's inclusion, it's way easier!)

Lastly, the CVs do have a few regular old stock superpowers: super strength (Rin's specialty), flight (Miku's specialty; also Luka is the only one in the group who doesn't fly too much when not necessary), super speed (to a degree at least), super reflexes, super hearing (they're musicians, after all!), super durability, the ability to download themselves into technology (robot perk) and the ability to manipulate hologram/hard light technology.

And that's pretty much it! I hope all of that makes some amount of sense. I'm sorry if I missed some stuff, I'll try to fill it in eventually.