#and ur telling me a Book was everything to this guy?

[everyones-least-favorite-bard]

i love how when i initially read the last like 50ish chs of orv i was like whoa. living in complete separation from everyone you know but capable of watching their lives progress without you (among other things) and was like wow! thats totally something ive desired before

hitting past me over the head with a cast iron skillet OFC YOU RELATE TO THAT YOU MORON YOURE THE TARGET AUDIENCE

[beautifel]

seems like my heart does nothing but break lately

[clownsnake]

I don’t think hyeonseong needed to remember dokja’s order to think about him if something goes wrong. I think he’s just always thinking abt dokja

and I love him for that

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Terry Pratchett about fantasy ❤

Terry Pratchett interview in The Onion, 1995 (x)

O: You’re quite a writer. You’ve a gift for language, you’re a deft hand at plotting, and your books seem to have an enormous amount of attention to detail put into them. You’re so good you could write anything. Why write fantasy?

Terry: I had a decent lunch, and I’m feeling quite amiable. That’s why you’re still alive. I think you’d have to explain to me why you’ve asked that question.

O: It’s a rather ghettoized genre.

Terry: This is true. I cannot speak for the US, where I merely sort of sell okay. But in the UK I think every book— I think I’ve done twenty in the series— since the fourth book, every one has been one the top ten national bestsellers, either as hardcover or paperback, and quite often as both. Twelve or thirteen have been number one. I’ve done six juveniles, all of those have nevertheless crossed over to the adult bestseller list. On one occasion I had the adult best seller, the paperback best-seller in a different title, and a third book on the juvenile bestseller list. Now tell me again that this is a ghettoized genre.

O: It’s certainly regarded as less than serious fiction.

Terry: (Sighs) Without a shadow of a doubt, the first fiction ever recounted was fantasy. Guys sitting around the campfire— Was it you who wrote the review? I thought I recognized it— Guys sitting around the campfire telling each other stories about the gods who made lightning, and stuff like that. They did not tell one another literary stories. They did not complain about difficulties of male menopause while being a junior lecturer on some midwestern college campus.

Fantasy is without a shadow of a doubt the ur-literature, the spring from which all other literature has flown. Up to a few hundred years ago no one would have disagreed with this, because most stories were, in some sense, fantasy. Back in the middle ages, people wouldn’t have thought twice about bringing in Death as a character who would have a role to play in the story. Echoes of this can be seen in Pilgrim’s Progress, for example, which hark back to a much earlier type of storytelling. The epic of Gilgamesh is one of the earliest works of literature, and by the standard we would apply now— a big muscular guys with swords and certain godlike connections— That’s fantasy. The national literature of Finland, the Kalevala. Beowulf in England. I cannot pronounce Bahaghvad-Gita but the Indian one, you know what I mean. The national literature, the one that underpins everything else, is by the standards that we apply now, a work of fantasy.

Now I don’t know what you’d consider the national literature of America, but if the words Moby Dick are inching their way towards this conversation, whatever else it was, it was also a work of fantasy. Fantasy is kind of a plasma in which other things can be carried. I don’t think this is a ghetto. This is, fantasy is, almost a sea in which other genres swim. Now it may be that there has developed in the last couple of hundred years a subset of fantasy which merely uses a different icongraphy, and that is, if you like, the serious literature, the Booker Prize contender. Fantasy can be serious literature. Fantasy has often been serious literature. You have to fairly dense to think that Gulliver’s Travels is only a story about a guy having a real fun time among big people and little people and horses and stuff like that. What the book was about was something else. Fantasy can carry quite a serious burden, and so can humor. So what you’re saying is, strip away the trolls and the dwarves and things and put everyone into modern dress, get them to agonize a bit, mention Virginia Woolf a few times, and there! Hey! I’ve got a serious novel. But you don’t actually have to do that.

(Pauses) That was a bloody good answer, though I say it myself.

[not-the-cheese]

one sentence summaries of every TMA episode

(1-60 i'll add more soon)

part 2 up!

world's most effective anti-smoking PSA

man DOES NOT open coffin. everyone claps.

woman is judgemental towards neighbor even though she has hobbies that are just as weird.

book makes multiple people fall off chair.

man finds bag of teeth and decides he absolutely needs to fuck around and find out.

worm sti.

there was a SCARY MAN in the WAR.

fuck this tree

well at least ted bundy was a great father :)

i'm like 55% sure vampires are real and i'm willing to take those odds

bitches be dying. you're next.

we kill this man because he made the soda too warm.

sorry ur husband's dead. maybe get some help.

Unbox with me ! (GONE WRONG)

hah i'm safe from this one because i have decided to Never Go Into a Cave Ever.

man is so annoying about this spider that even his cat can't be bothered

man's bully finds a book about a Bone Turner and subsequently begins turning people's bones.

this guy sucks at DIY home improvement

aw maybe this priest didn't do anything THAT bad!

oh fuck nevermind

THE SKY ATE MY SON.

the worms stole my identity. i haven't left the house in days.

man beats german children at game of bravery and wins a coin (he later loses this coin)

my ex boyfriend gets casted in the muppets and dies

sorry mom, i've abandoned jesus for a new religion : jesus in the dark.

tall squiggly and HANDsome

old man arm wrestles demon through door knob

the buzzfeed unsolved guys finally catch a ghost but it's their sound tech

immortality but at what cost

working at the big meat factory was so traumatizing it made me vegetarian

i go to america and get almost killed by a furry

well if you love that wasp nest so much why don't you MARRY it (and then she did)

antisocial boat crew bands together to exclude one guy from a midnight party. he dies from the rejection.

bone apple teeth

remember when that norwegian guy threw a tantrum about us not digging a hole? turns out we were right to not dig that hole.

babe come over my parents have taken ill and passed away

man fucks around and it costs him everything

HOMOPHOBIC CHINESE VASE

oh god oh fuck the worms are here

thank you for participating in worms! please rate your wormsperience from 1 to 10.

the wormsperience has left me deeply scarred. i'm going to get lost in a tunnel about it.

🎸music makes me loose control🎸

spooky stories to tell at the next police slumber party

child threatens to run away and join the circus one too many times, and now the circus has come to cash in.

these mosquitoes are mad sus

man frequents local barnes and noble and then dies(?) after liking a book too much.

realtor gets eaten by the backrooms twice. it's a terrible shame.

both me and this weird goth dude have an unsatisfying italy vacation

guy who turns people's bones gets a new job where he continues to turn people's bones.

man who should never be allowed to build prisons builds a prison.

Something Big Is In The Water.

what if u heard me about 15 feet behind you fumbling around and calling out ur name 😳 (and we were both prison guards)

i'm going to be honest i didn't retain anything from this episode except that this guy has the silliest old man voice ever

everybody hates the tax man, including these creepy taxidermy animals

hmmgh. ant house.

so turns out being only 55% sure that vampires are real in my career as a vampire hunter has had some consequences.

the only thing keeping you company in space is your abandonment issues

🎶 the snack that smiles back 🎶 (my husband!)

maybe the real treasure was the house siblings we encased in spider web along the way.

your dead brother wrote books about ancient myths and WHAT

Part 2

[liketolovexx]

James Potter is easily the biggest of the three. He’s just so muscular and strong, but in a soft way. He’s got a soft layer of fat protecting his muscles, and I imagine he’s very freckled too. Not sure why. He is the epitome of a golden retriever boyfriend. He likes being the big spoon, and has an INCREDIBLE weak spot for getting his hair played with. Like, it’s literally orgasmic to him. He grew up with everything. Love, money, etc, etc, so he’s probably the touchiest (at first), and is all over you from the start. Also, I think he often forgets his strength and squeezes u too hard and you’ve gotta be like “uh.. Jamie..? You’re.. you’re kinda squeezing-“ and he just puts an arm over ur mouth like “shut up, baby. Sorry. Love you.” He’s adorable.

Remus Lupin is just a normal sized boy, and runs hot like a radiator. Honestly. He doesn’t even need all those knitted sweaters and warm coffee because he just is the embodiment of autumn warmth. He’s littered with silver scars from his lycanthropy, so when u see him naked for the first time, he’s so self conscious. He’d have his arms wrapped around himself, shielding his scars from your view, and you’ve got to prize his hands off of himself. “I’m sorry.. i know they’re not.. appealing.. it’s…” and you’re just like “woah, rem, what? You’re fucking beautiful.” You say that, and he’s yours. He’s not used to love like James is, but he’s probably the one to start getting cuddly. I imagine it’s winter and he’s reading in the common room, and ur shivering because by some miracle the fire isn’t on. He looks up from his book, admiring you for a while and then lifts up his sweater. You SHOOT underneath it and basically curl up like a cat against his bare chest. I repeat: HE IS SO FUCKING WARM. You’d probably have an ‘eternal sunshine of the spotless mind’ moment with him at the start of your relationship though. You know when Clementine is saying she always thought she was ugly and Joel starts kissing her and saying “you’re pretty, you’re pretty, you’re pretty…” yeah, you’d be Joel and he’d be Clementine. But once he’s comfortable, he’s a fucking fiend. You’ll never be cold again, trust me.

Sirius Black is skinny and pale. Like a vampire. Endearingly. I imagine he has a nose piercing and an eyebrow piercing, and he’s all tattooed up. Will DEFINITELY get your initial on his abdomen or collarbone in swirly penmanship. Sirius will act like your best friend even when u two are dating. Bless him though, he’s so used to being hurt and abused by those that are meant to protect him that he can’t trust you at first. I think the first time he came to realise you were different is when you asked him what happened after winter break at his parent’s house, because he was being really quiet and flinching a lot which is unlike him. You cornered him in the common room when no one else was there, and asked him “hey, Siri? What’s going on, man? Tell me.” He insisted, “I’m fine. I swear, sweetheart.” You went to tuck his black curls behind his ear but he flinched, which shattered your heart. You said “Sirius, please. I need to know you’re okay, because I need you safe.” And hearing that, he broke down into your arms. From then on, he’s always in your arms. He adores comforting you, because he’s a big brother himself and so he has the instinct, you know? But man, does he fucking adore being in your arms. He WILL curl up beside you wherever you’re sitting or lying, and is always rubbing against you. He always says “I can’t help it, babe, it’s just the dog in me.” Which he seems to find HILARIOUS. Oh yeah, and he literally can’t sleep unless you’re the big spoon or his head is on your chest or in your neck. He likes to feel safe and protected for once, and you do that for him to no end. He’s THE 70s rocker stereotype, and he loves having matching nail polish with you. You’re best friends as well as lovers.

Sorry for yapping to no end guys!!!

[loganlermanstanaccount]

hear me out..what abt u and miguel in a hotub trying to hide that fact that you guys are literally screwing eachother in front of the others🤭🤭and he’s talking u through it..whispering in ur ear..telling u to be quiet while he’s literally roaming his hands all over u! 😋😋

this is a leeetle bit funny to me bc in real life, sex is the last thing i'd wanna do in a hot tub. But for Miguel..... 😍😍

Wandering Hands

(AO3 Mirror), Main Masterlist

pairing: Husband!Miguel O'Hara x f!reader

summary: You're on a trip away with your husband, Miguel. He gets handsy. (Hot tub sex + Husband!Miguel)

warnings: 18+ , fingering, p in v, instructional, Miguel talks you through it, teeny tiny bit of f!dom, exhibitionism, semi-public sex, very very sappy. Minors DNI

a/n: this is disgustingly sappy and cheesy at some points - I kinda have to apologise in advance. I've had a rough week lmao

very big thank you to my beta reader @tianyhi <33

wc: 2.7k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wandering hands: Miguel has wandering hands. 

It's your anniversary, and that's the thought you're left with as he kneads your thigh, eyes low at a fancy resort. A resort you practically dragged him to, mind you.  He's a workhorse; absorbed in his job and everything that comes with it. Your husband; diligent and devoted, as always; he needed a break. Somewhere hot, somewhere expensive. It’s what he deserved. And whilst he would never take the initiative to book one for himself, isn't that what a wonderful SO was there for?

To his credit, he's been 'unplugged' since the moment you got here - putting away his work laptop and ignoring all the calls he'd get from overbearing clients. His sole focus for this whole week is you; and he's made that abundantly clear. The lingering looks, gentle touches: everything about him screams love and warmth. And he's all yours - a fact that still sends you spiralling, every now and then. All yours. 

"You're not paying attention, cariño." He says under his breath, swirling the wine under his nose like the man in front of him. 

You're both at a wine tasting, like sophisticated adults (...who had made fun of the idea on the way over). Miguel's wearing pressed trousers that hang on his frame just right, and a tank top underneath an open button-up. The peek of flesh makes you hot under the collar like a Victorian housewife, and you flush when you realise you're staring. Miguel pinches your cheek with a laugh, soothing it with a simple kiss. 

Huffing, you take a sip of the expensive wine without thinking. There’s a gasp from the sommelier, and the small group turns to look at you. Your face heats up when you realise what you’ve done - shirking from the pack of eyes silent with sharp critique. A man beside you taps your shoulder with a slimy smile. 

“Miss, that’s a 1978 Monfortino. It probably costs more than your rent.” 

“...I thought this was a wine tasting. So eventually, we have to… taste. The wine.” Miguel chuckles into his drink, squeezing at your waist. You make a fair point.

The man laughs, smug. “With all due respect, it’s an experience of the senses… maybe this is your first time somewhere with this kind of price tag, but it’s quite rude to-”

Miguel clears his throat, flashing a disarming smile at the man to your side. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, with a dangerous veneer you’ve seen before. The smile he gives before closing a big deal at work, calculated and shiny – when he smells blood in the water. 

“With all due respect, watch your fucking tone.” 

His face drops just as quickly, and he downs the rest of his wine, standing up - hand outstretched to take you with him. Gladly, you follow, click-clacking in your heels and little dress; hand tight around his.

“...Pinche idiota…vete a la verga…smug little-” It’s under his breath, but his intensity makes you giggle. 

In the elevator up to your room, he stews, brow creased in little furrows. A force of habit, he pulls you closer, tucking away a stray strand of hair. With a smile, you knead his temples, smoothing the creases. He visibly softens and leans into your touch.

“You’re on vacation, Miguel. Relax, baby.” 

“S’not that simple.” He grumbles, but chases your lips with his own, regardless.

Defiant, you move at the last moment, chin up in the air.

“No, I’m being serious.” He snakes a hand to your ass, dancing over the hem of your dress. 

"I could think of a few ways to decompress, if you're up for it…" Voice low and silky, want pools at the base of your stomach. 

"Miguelito, the bedroom voice doesn't work on me, anymore." You slather on the charm, batting your eyelashes in a way that makes him laugh. He rolls his eyes. 

"Let's do something. I think…I think the spa's still open? We could get a massage-" 

"I don't want a massage unless it's you, baby."

"...or go to the sauna-"

"Didn't pack the right clothes, m'afraid."

"God, don't be mean." It's your turn to roll your eyes. And you whack at his chest, admonishing him gently. "What about the hot tubs?"

He turns his head to the side as if he's deep in thought. Pondering, weighing up the options; when really, the only thought in his head was you in a tiny bikini. 

"If you insist, cariño." 

~~~

The spa isn't too far from your hotel, a stone's throw from the beach. You walk with Miguel in the pleasant evening heat, flip-flops and cover ups light on your back. 

There at the back, open air, behind rows of beach houses and overlooking the sea. You settle into the tubs, each one sectioned by wooden slats and climbing plants - not visible from the main spa, but not completely closed off, either. You can still hear the quiet buzz of other people, although it's not too full this late in the day. 

You slip the light fabric onto the floor, and step out of the cover-up. Miguel, already in the water, watches the light ripple off of your skin. You don't catch him staring, but you feel it. His gaze is heavy as he drinks it in; you are dappled and gorgeous, and his heart is full. You slip in, shuffling up close to him in the dull thrum of the water jets. 

Eyes closed, you rest your head on his shoulder. "You're staring." 

"Yeah." It's so soft, said in the press of warm bodies, that you almost don't hear it. Playfully, he flicks your forehead - in that little triangle between your eyebrows that appears when you're resting. It's cute, he thinks. "...you got a problem with that?"

Laughing, you shake your head. "It's not too much?" 

He moves closer to you, hands on your hips and mouth pressing soft kisses into your neck. 

"The trip, I mean. It was a little last minute, and there was that thing with our passports…" You sigh, turning towards him, hand on his chest to stop him. "I just thought you needed a break. And I know this isn't usually your thing, but I want you to enjoy yourself. If you're not, let me know, and I'll book the first plane out of here, I promise." 

You're looking up at him, clearly worried, and his heart breaks. It's almost as if you've forgotten that an anniversary entails both people, together as one. The truth is, as long as he's with you, and you're having a good time… 

"Doesn't matter where we go, cariño. I'm right where I need to be if I'm with you." He says it like a statement - so matter-of-factly it makes your head spin. Because, you suppose, to him it was a ubiquitous truth: that in every universe, every iteration, the both of you belonged together. What would sound over the top or cheesy coming from someone else, is made so simple by Miguel. A fundamental truth: his home, his happiness, his heartaches and highest highs, were with you, and you alone. 

"Promise me."

"Hand on my heart, baby." He places a palm that spans the crest of his ribcage. "...I promise."

He guides you onto his lap, so your back presses to his. His kisses are so light and airy, you don't notice how his hand creeps towards your thigh and the gentle movement of his hips under yours. 

"You always take care of me," His hand snaps the band of your bikini bottoms, making you writhe on his lap. "Let me return the favour. Relax, cariño."

You nod, gently, eyes blown when you realise what exactly that means. Miguel's large palms dance over your tummy, pinching at the flesh to make you laugh; and then down to your thighs, to paw at them. He shifts, directing you over the jet by the base of the seat, and there is delicious pressure at your clit. 

He cups your pussy under the foam of the water, ripping a heady moan of which you try to subdue. You lean into it: the hand that's now migrated into your bikini, the rock of his hips, and the hickeys he sucks into skin. Coupled with the fact you were in public, he brings you to climax quicker than even he expected. You were so needy, everything about your body telling him you wanted more - needed more. He presses the pad of his finger over your clit, barely there, and you claw at his arms under the water. 

"More?" He coos, dulcet tones brushing the shell of your ear. "Pórtate bien,  okay?" 

So lost in your haze, you don't register the steady padding of a pair of people coming towards you, behind the wooden divider. A head pops over, and you still his wandering hands. 

"Oh, there y'all are!" You see the bronzed face of Jess and her husband, a couple you had met during the trip. She bounces towards you both with dizzying accuracy, donned in a bright swimsuit and sheer cover up around her waist. Her husband is quieter, opting for a nod to Miguel, behind you. 

"Can we join you? Hope we aren't interrupting anything."

Miguel meets your eyes. 

"Is it okay?" He says, a thousand words said in your exchange. We don't have to do anything, it's up to you.

"It's fine," You breathe and then louder, to Jess. "It's fine."

He kisses your forehead and squeezes you closer, shifting so you feel his growing length under his shorts. An action that would seem innocent to a passer-by but below the surface… 

He starts off slow, imperceptible movements as he strokes your clit. It makes you impatient, irritated that he had the audacity to start something he couldn't finish. Or, wouldn't, rather. You make lazy conversation with Jess and her husband; innocuous little things that barely take your mind off of Miguel behind you. 

Some time goes by, and he's somewhat conservative – hand pressed against your pussy like his fingers were made for you. You get used to the pressure, as Jess talks about her day.

"...they're having a sale, as well! We're gonna go back there tomorrow, because, God, there were these earrings that I couldn't take my eyes off of, real gold, and only-" 

"Fuck!" He slips two fingers in, without warning, sinking to the knuckle as your little hole adjusts. Jess pauses, a little confused. 

"I was just…" He scissors them ever so slightly, enjoying watching you squirm. "...t-thinking about how great that deal was. Like… fuck! Real gold!" 

Internally, you wince, hoping she buys it. Jess isn't stupid, but you don't think she knows you well enough to notice your husband fingering you in a hot tub. You hope. 

"Right." She gives you the benefit of the doubt. "Not gold-plated, real gold."

You nod, hoping the foam from the jets is hiding the way you rock into Miguels' fingers. They feel good, curling up into you at that spongy spot he knows too well. 

"There's a good food spot, by the boardwalk. I think they do…" She turns to her husband, who has an arm draped around her. 

"Pasta, baby."

"Pasta! Yes, of course. We had a gorgeous meal and they served mussels, with the dish you were on about, before."

A beat. And then another. There’s a pregnant pause, before Miguel nudges you gently. "Yeah, sorry. It was the… garlick-y… one that had, um…"

You can't concentrate, against his wide torso, his hands between your legs: your brain goes fuzzy. You catch a smile tugging at his lips; and you almost scream. It's cruel, and all he can do is laugh. 

"Miguel's more interested in that stuff, m'afraid." You give her a weak smile, and Miguel rewards you with a thumb to your clit. 

It takes you everything not to jump at the pleasure that rocks your core; and you clamp a hand to his thigh. You make eye contact and he smiles; the smug fuck; gently chattering on with Jess about your trip to a local market, the other day. He's as casual as can be, and seemingly unaffected. 

You try your hardest to nod and smile where necessary; giving simple answers that wouldn't require much thought. In the cool night air, the conversation is pleasant enough, but your husband insists on stretching out your orgasm – watching for the tell-tale signs and pulling away. It's a game of cat and mouse; and whilst you just want to get off, Miguel takes pleasure in the chase. 

"We should be heading off, I think." Jess says after a while. "Just wanted to catch up with you two."

Miguel smiles, dizzying and innocuous. "We're happy to, Jess."

They slip out with a splash, and she nods towards you. "You ok, sweetheart? You just seem a bit out of it, today."

Perhaps too hastily, you nod. "I think…I t-think it was something I ate."

"Oh." She looks a little worried, and it makes you feel guilty. "You get better then. I'll give you a call tomorrow."

"Thanks, Jess." And with that, they make their way out. 

Once out of sight, Miguel speeds up, his other hand on your thigh to wrench your legs open. The speed makes you dizzy, melting with your head back on his shoulder and desperately humping his hand for some relief. The rock and slosh of water over tiles barely registers in your fog. 

As you moan and writhe, he whispers filth into your ear. 

"Quieter, cariño. What if someone hears?" You whine and all he does is chuckle, lowly. "What if they find you, spread on my lap, fucking yourself on my fingers?" 

"You're being mean."

"Eso no es justo, amor." He titters, shaking his head. "You told me to relax, no? This is how I want to relax." 

Tears prick at your eyes, as he uses his other hand to rub circles into your clit, the warm froth washes over you both, but all you can feel is him. 

"¿Dime que quieres, hermosa?" What do you want?

"M'close, Miguel." You bite down another moan. “I’m ready.”

"Want to feel it, baby. Cum for me."

You tilt your head to the side, and he captures your lips with his own – in awe as you clamp around his fingers. Grinding down on his crotch, you ride out your orgasm. The way he makes you feel is hot, and wet and filthy. 

When your shaking legs still, you turn around to face him. He's hard, and too much of a gentleman to take his own pleasure. You slip a hand into his shorts, hand hot against his cock. It's his turn to lean into the bliss: head back and lips slightly parted with pleasure. 

You've always liked his lips, plump and kissable, a pretty pink that just fits against yours. 

"You're teasing." He hisses softly. 

You scrape your nails along his chest, and he keens, clutching your hand close to his heart. 

"...and what exactly have you been doing all night?“ You make a tight ring with your fingers, squeezing his tip and his hips jump up. 

"Vale, vale, vaaale…." He paws at you waist, a little desperate. "Fuck- I get it."

You give him a kiss, wet and needy, before slipping the gusset of your bikini to the side and sinking down on his length. He cries out and you swallow it, pressing yourself even closer to him. With your tits against his chest like that, he can't think straight. You shift against his length, finding a steady rhythm but it's too slow – and Miguel grows impatient. With a growl, he places both hands on your hips, forcing you downwards as you writhe on his length. 

"Dámelo, dámelo…" He slams his cock into you - hard and fast and just the way you like it. "Just like that, baby, just like-" 

That growing coil at the base of your stomach snaps, and you clamp around him. But he doesn't stop, just fucks you through it until he cums, hot and sticky fluids spilling into you. Panting, you capture him into a kiss. You separate, and he's got a dopey smile on his face. 

Content. Relaxed, even. 

~~~

Jess calls you the morning after, and you answer. 

"Hey, everything ok?" You yawn into the receiver, a little tired from last night's activities.

"I said I would call, didn't I?" 

You hum. "...suppose you did."

"You feeling better now Miguel's not playing with your pussy in a hot tub?" 

Shit. You almost drop the phone. "Jesus, we didn't-" 

"Save. It." She grumbles something you can't quite hear; something you suspect you're better off not hearing, anyways. 

"...Sorry. We weren't really thinking."

"Damn straight." She pauses. "I'm not mad, sweetheart. Can’t even judge you, to be honest. As I always say, it's not a real vacation until you fuck your husband somewhere you shouldn't-" 

"Gross, Jess."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did the woman who got fingered in a hot tub just say something??" 

You wince at the vulgarity of her words. 

"....Ouch." 

She laughs into the speakerphone, and you join her. Besides you, Miguel stirs, a little smile on his face. Half asleep, he thinks he’s heard an angel, voice light and airy in the space of your hotel room.

_

_

_

Miguel taglist: @d1lf-loverrr, @afro-hispwriter @ilovemiguelohara @weedxgirlx420 @ladydovahkiin180 @aaliyuh3 @sweetanimebakery @vvitcxen @rosecoloredlenses708 @daikondal @magikmina @impettywhenyouare @alonelygirlsuicidenote @plushyplants @javi0ca @rheeves @starrfruit @nikirikii @marsbars09 @foxglove-grove @mimooyi @crosshairclown @dead-by-light @kynamitedessert @naarra @wanderlustingcastaway @sagejin @cookielovesbook-akie @tangerineloverrr @gobblegluckgluckgod @wolfiepirate @jxxey3 @ebrysteria @elliemm @manchuria @youngghostpeachslime @weasleybuns @ilovemuppets @vauriz @bonbyon @aimno256 @ancientbeing10 @tvije @venus1224idkpleaze @neteyamsbulletwound @chickenjefferson-blog @maki-z @jasjasthings @tea-earl-grey-thot

[aezuria]

*ੈ✎ xoxo, gossip girl!

content: leo valdez x reader, percy jackson x reader, jason grace x reader

╰┈▸ back cover: how would gossip sessions with them go?

warnings: cursing, rude humor??

librarian's annotations: doing this instead of requests um

*ੈ LEO VALDEZ

SASSY MAN APOCALYPSE

god hes probably talking shit more than u

"oh her? yeah she was such a bitch like no way she looked at you like that when i said i was so obviously taken!"

"and her hair? has she ever heard of a brush? like, if you're gonna come at my girlfriend, at least make yourself look better so you don't embarrass yourself. oh wait, you can't!"

probably laying on you as he does this, and starts squeezing you tightly

"because my girlfriend is the prettiest girl in the world!"

awww that's cute right?

WRONG this man is so quick with his comebacks its actually insane

does NOT think before he speaks

doesnt hold back, even against you (booo why did ur gf privileges not apply to that)

"leo! can you like, move your fat ass off me?" you groan under him as he lays down with his dead weight on top of you.

"like the fat ass you don't have?"

were you silent or SILENCED

everytime you think he wouldnt take it that far?? oh he will go THERE (but he always makes sure u know hes joking)

doesnt want to invoke your wrath so he apologizes IMMEDIATELY

"fix your hair-"

"fix your face- IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO-"

*ੈ PERCY JACKSON

guys. we cant forget abt the OG SASSY MAN

also talking shit a whole lot more than he should

"uh, she needs to get her act together before she can start coming at others; like-" rolls his eyes for EMPHASIS "who does she think she is, talking to you like that?"

damn, who taught this man sass?

bro was BORN with it or smth

even outsasses you sometimes

if you tell him to get like a snack or something and hes in the mood to just lay down with you, he will huff SO loudly

"ugh, fine!"

gets you extra snacks anyway in case you want more (and drinks obviously)

SO SO INVESTED like he has the WHOLE story down

but sometimes mixes up the ppl if its been a while

"wait wait, so the library girl and the jock are dating?"

"the nerd and the library girl are dating, but the jock wanted library girl."

"that makes a lot of sense, actually."

has tea of his OWN because the sea knows everything apparently

"tobias told me-" percy started.

"who the fuck is tobias?"

"the turtle, duh. anyway, he said that this guy always takes girls to the beach on their first date, to make them fall in love with him or something. like, every single girl he's dated."

"...does that count as a manipulation tactic?"

*ੈ JASON GRACE

will be on your side no matter what

like if you end it with an "it is what it is"

um??? it is NOT what it is hello?

doesnt look like hes listening but hes paying attention to EVERYTHING

like hes "reading" a book but hes been on the same page for the entire time youve been talking

tries not to laugh at your rather creative insults, but sometimes you get a soft chuckle out of him

you take that as a win

once, you caught him listening through the door as you gossiped with piper over the phone

he was SO embarrassed omg

after that, you made sure to tell him all the tea as soon as you have it

"—and he cheated on her with her SISTER. who's like, three years younger than him! like, what the fuck? that's not even all he did!" you sit up, hands playing with the blanket. you think you see him lean a bit closer, as if wanting to hear more. "she fucked his brother in his room, like, her ex boyfriend's room for revenge! okay, that was a bitch move, but was it deserved?"

jason shrugged. "i'd say no one deserves to be cheated on, but he kinda did deserve it."

"exactly!"

[ellecdc]

hi!!!!

id love to see a poly!marauders where the reader is muggle born or atlest muggle raised , reader and remus just bond over muggle stuff while the others sit there all confused asking wtf they’re talking about

like music, technology, maybe certain foods, certain slang and books the wizard world doesn’t have.

(ps i love ur blog and everything you write plz keep it up❤️)

hahaha awe so cute - here's a sweet little scene, and thanks for your request <33

poly!marauders x gn!reader who is muggle born

James was not too proud to admit he was rather upset.

And by upset, he meant jealous, terribly jealous. And desperate, so unbelievably desperate. And also sort of pissed off.

The cause of such upset, you might wonder?

Oh, only one of his own sodding boyfriends, of course.

You see, it had been his idea to start chatting with you in order to see where things could go - you know, romantically - between the four of you.

Sirius was eager - which would seem very out of character for the notoriously territorial and stand-offish Black who was wary of anyone interfering with their already established dynamic - but Sirius was equally as enamoured with you as James was from your shared classes and your few interactions around the castle.

Of course - as would be expected - it was Moony that the two of them had to persuade to consider you in earnest. 

“Come on, Moons. Don’t tell me you’re worried that you won’t be the smartest one in the relationship anymore.” Sirius had teased, earning him a glare from the werewolf. 

But of course, James (and Sirius) had been right, and Remus was practically immediately taken with you after James had officially introduced you to his boyfriends at a Gryffindor party. 

It was perhaps very helpful that you happened to be muggle born seeing as Remus had a muggle parent himself, so he was able to bond with you over various muggle things.

And James thought that was wonderful! Truly!

Really.

He honestly did.

But...well, did you guys have to talk about it all of the time!?

And it’s not that James didn’t like you talking about muggle things, or that he didn’t like muggle things in general.

What he didn’t like was that he couldn’t participate in the conversation at all.

And James is sorry, but what in the buggering fuck was a ‘vee sea are’?

James tuned back into the conversation when he began recognizing some of the words you and Remus were saying, though Sirius looked no less confused than he had previously.

“My favourite is probably The Sound of Music.” You admitted somewhat bashfully, features painted with a shy smile as you looked at Remus through your eyelashes.

James didn’t know what you were so shy about, especially considering Remus was beaming at you in response. “Me too!” He agreed readily.

“I love the sound of music!” James chimed in readily, earning him a surprise look from you, a curious look from Remus, and a bemused look from Sirius. 

“Do you really?” You asked sweetly, offering him a hopeful smile.

“I didn’t know you’d ever heard of it.” Remus added quietly.

James scoffed. “Oh, come off it Moons. Of course I love the sound of music! It’s arguably one of my favourite sounds ever!” 

“Awe.” You said sympathetically as Remus barked a laugh.

James looked at the two of you in confusion before he turned to Sirius in hopes for an answer. 

“I don’t know how Prongsie, seeing as they never really asked a question.” Sirius started, placing a reassuring hand on his thigh and squeezing gently, “But I think you got the answer wrong.”

James harrumphed and fell back into his chair, feeling thoroughly dejected. 

“I’m sorry Jamie.” You apologized, looking particularly distraught at having caused James any grief. “We can talk about something else, if you’d like.”

James waved you off quickly. “No, no. I’m sorry, sweets. It doesn’t matter to me what you talk about, as long as I get to continue hearing the sound of your lovely voice, arguably my second favourite sound ever.” 

James may not know what sounds of music you had been talking about, but he was proud that he did know how to make you blush something fierce with nothing but a few simple words. 

[lewisvinga]

beyond meat | lewis hamilton x fem! reader

summary; a peak into the lives of internet’s favorite vegans couple

fc; samira ahmed

warning; suggestive comments,

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minkyungseokie @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote

note; requested ! my requests are closed atm!

masterlist !

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

liked by lewishamilton, georgerussell63, and others !

yourusername: walks w the best boy + fig and brie salads after !

tagged; roscoelovescoco

roscoelovescoco: love’s you’s 🐶🩷 liked by yourusername !

georgerussell63: we all know you were fighting the urge to say ‘without daddy’

yourusername: i really do love roscoe’s daddy yes i do 😇

georgerussell63: you are WICKED

username: bro😭😭

username: ugh SHES GORGEOUS

username: im not vegan but those salads look immaculate

username: my queen

lewishamilton: 😍 liked by yourusername !

lewishamilton: i’m gonna need one of those salads when i’m back btw

yourusername: bold of you to assume i didn’t buy enough brie and fig to last us 2 weeks

username: need a vegan recipe book asap

yourusername: i’m working to post them on my story so you guys don’t have to pay!:))

username: THE PEOPLES PRINCESS

carmenmmundt: missing your vegan cooking rn😖😖

yourusername: lmk when ur in town babe, i’ll cook for uuuuuu🫶

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, and others !

yourusername: what a wonderful week of amazing vegan eats! vanilla cupcakes, tofu scramble tacos, fruit bowls, fruit smoothies, and oat milk lattes ft post dinner food comas 😴😴😴

tagged; roscoelovescoco, lewishamilton

yourusername: recipes are all on tiktok btw my loves!

username: tysm queen 🙏🙏

roscoelovescoco: 🐶🩷🩷 liked by yourusername !

lewishamilton: wow, you’re gorgeous, my love

yourusername: lewwwww🥹🥹

lewishamilton: you truly know the way to me heart!

yourusername: good thing cooking is my love language 😁

username: oh to look like y/n..

username: i’d be vegan for y/n tbh

carmenmmundt: 😍🩷 liked by yourusername !

francisca.cgomes: wowwwww😍🤤 liked by yourusername !

username: y/n!!! what do you think abt beyond meat??🤔🤔

georgerussell63: DONT ask her that.

yourusername: ignore george !!! but i’m not the biggest fan, i love cooking so i try to make everything from scratch 😊😊

username: gosh she’s so nara smith coded

username: george what do u mean by that 🤨🤨

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liked by lewishamilton, lilymhe, and others !

yourusername: no i don’t like beyond meat

tagged; lewishamilton

yourusername: but i’d eat his beyond meat

georgerussell63: ENOUGH I’VE HEARD THIS BEYOND MEAT JOKE TOO OFTEN

yourusername: well, too bad!

lewishamilton: nothing i can do abt it mate 🤣georgerussell63

username: GEORGE?? LMAOO

username: her comment after IM SCREAMING😭😭

lewishamilton: 🫣🫣🫣

yourusername: 🤫😁😁

username: so her comment is what george meant by not asking her abt beyond meat

username: y/n rlly won the lottery 😖

lilymhe: tell ur man i want u

yourusername: and you tell your man i want u 2

alex_albon: wait….

lewishamilton: no can do, she already said she wants my beyond meat😇😇

georgerussell63: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO MOREEE lewishamilton

lewishamilton: sorry? georgerusseell63

[jasmines-library]

hello darling🤭i live here now, hope you don’t mind🤭🙏

I was wondering if you would mind writing smth with the batfamily having a danish sibling, or maybe jason or dick having a gf who knits/crochets a lot, and then the gf shows up with personalised gifts for everyone?

this is oddly specific and you don’t have to do either but i’m addicted to your writing😞🙏

love, ur robin <3 !!!

Arts and Crafts

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

Note: Hello my lovely! sorry this took a hot minute...I have so much in my inbox right now it's insane, but you guys are awesome. I hope this is okay, I tried my best with the Danish words, there aren't many of them and I also had to use online sources so I hope they're correct. Please tell me if they're wrong. I hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 0.9k

⛧ BATFAM MASTERLIST ⛧

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

“Move out of the way!” Dick barged past his brother who was clearing up the room much too slowly for his liking. He took the pile of books out of Damian’s hands and began placing them back on the shelf, making sure that each of the spines lined up perfectly.

“Tt.” Damian rolled his eyes. “I really don’t think she's going to notice if the spines aren’t matched up, Grayson.”

“You don’t know that.” Dick practically snapped as he darted across the room to adjust the curtains for the fiftieth time that day. 

You were coming over for dinner, and Dick felt the need to make sure that everything was perfect. It's not like you hadn’t met his family before. In fact, you often asked after his brothers and had spent countless hours chatting away to them over a good book or a movie. However this was the first time you had been around: you had caught a rather nasty cold and so had decided to stay home. But, being the perfectionist he is, Dick felt the need to make everything perfect for you. It was overkill in Damian’s opinion, but he just shrugged and let him get on with it. 

The doorbell rang and was shortly followed by the sound of Dick’s shoes against the wooden floorboards as he raced to beat Alfred to open it. When he did open it he was greeted by the sight of you smiling. You were bundled up in a coat and a scarf that covered the lower half of your face as you sheltered from the biting cold, but as you gazed up at him, he could see the corners of your lips turned up in one of your smiles that he loved dearly. 

"Min elskede.” You greeted him as he removed and hung up your coat as you unwound your scarf to hand beside it. 

“Hi my lovely.” He placed a kiss on your forehead softly. “What’s all that?” He asked, gesturing to the neatly wrapped gift parcels that were poking out of your bag.

“Gifts.” 

Dick turned it head. “You didn’t have to do that.”

You shrugged, picking up the bag with one hand and lacing the fingers on your other with Dicks. “I know, but I wanted to. Besides, I had plenty of time to do it.”

He kissed you again as he led you into the living room. “You’re too good for me.”

“Y/N!” Tim called out from across the room, standing up to hug you. He had grown rather fond of you. “How have you been? It’s so nice to see you again. I was beginning to think that Dick was going to go mad if he had to go another day without constantly seeing your face.”

“Hej, Tim. It’s good to see you too.” You chuckled.

Deciding to take a seat next to Dick after he informed you that dinner would be a little wait, you settled the bag between your legs, propping it up with your feet so that it didn’t fall over. At your arrival, the rest of the Wayne’s slowly made their way to the living room to catch up.

You pulled out the first gift from the pile. It was oddly shaped, wrapped in brown paper and adorned with a silk ribbon tied into a large bow. The gifts caught the boy’s eyes and they leaned closer as you handed them out: First to Damian, then Jason, Dick and Tim. You even had one for Bruce and Alfred, who were both out of the room for the moment, so you made a mental note to make sure you gave them theirs later. 

Damian tore into his first, peeling away the paper to reveal a black scarf, neatly stitched together with rows of red and green in interlocking loops. He unravelled it to reveal its full length and grinned at the delicate handiwork. 

“You made this?!” Damian exclaimed, turning it over in his hands. 

“Yep.” You hummed “I hope you like it.”

“I love it!” He ran over to embrace you in a hug.

Then came Jason who pulled out a red beanie you had crocheted, and Tim who you had crocheted a pair of fingerless gloves and a sleeve for his coffee cup to keep it warm. They were also both very appreciative and their smiles warmed your heart. 

Finally, Dick took time and care to untie the ribbon and peel open the wrapping paper. Inside was a black jumper that you had crocheted for him, on the top was his nightwing logo which you had surface crochet on the top of it. Along the sleeves, you had also added a strip of blue to add a pop of colour. You had been working on it for a little while now and had had a hard job trying to hide it from him whenever he came over. 

“You made this for me?” He asked.

“Of course.” You nodded. “I hope it fits-”

“It’s perfect.” he told you, slipping it on. It fit like a glove. “You didn’t need to do this, Y/n/n… you’ve outdone yourself.” he tugged you to his side tightly. 

“I’m so glad you like them.”

“We love anything you make. They’re amazing.”

“Tak.” You smiled, settling into his side, savouring the feeling of the soft wool against your cheek. He held you close, not quite believing how he had come so lucky to have a girlfriend quite like you.

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

BATFAM TAGS

@aestheticdaisies @hearts4robs @xxrougefangxx @mamapucket @hell-o-kittys @harleycao @batfamsstuff

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

[jyoongim]

HIHIHIH OMG ILYSMMM UR WOEK IS AMAZING!!!

SOOOOOO i have a few req idwas!!

idea 1: reader is lucifers s/o and finds out luci is cheating on them so for payback they hook up w alastor luci may or may not find out up to you!

idea 2: reader is alastors s/o and they are at readers parents house (theyre also in hell) and reader goes to ask their dad sum like "hey daddy..." and her dad and alastor both respond....

JUST A FEW IDEAS I HAD FOR AWHILE BTW IDK IF I DID THIS RIGHT THIS WAS MY FIRST REQ..

You did a wonderful job! Thank you for the request! i did the 2nd idea! I thought it was funny hehehe

Your parents had invited you and Alastor to Sunday dinner. Funny thing that the most church-loving couple ended up in Hell. They never broke tradition even down here.

“Ooh honey we are so happy you two could join us” Your mother chirped, beaming as you hand her the bouquet of flowers you had picked up and pulled you into a hug. 

“Its always a pleasure to get a chance to eat your fine cookin maam” Alastor smiled as his mother in law gave him a squeeze, letting y’all inside and heading towards the dining room.

Your mother talked about the latest gossip she had heard, hissing murderously at the mention of Susan joining her book club.

”Oh can you believe that hag? Just can’t let me have nothin”

“I told ya momma if she hate the woman so much why not just smoke ‘er, but nope she too sweet.” Your father’s deep brawl met your ears as you entered the living room.

He smiled at you, pulling you into a bear hug as he kissed your forehead “Ooh there’s my princess” he said affectionately making you giggle. He straightened up, turning to Alastor, he gave a smile

”Aaah how are you doing my boy? heard you were managing a fancy hotel! Me and the Mrs should come check y’all out sometimes.” 

They shook hands and you slipped away to help your mother get dinner.

And what a dinner indeed.

Dinner was filled with chatter as the two parties caught up with each other. 

Everything was wonderful.

“Daddy can you pass me the pitcher of lemonade please?” you asked as you realized you had a empty glass.

“Why of course”

”Sure thing”

two voices said, making you tense and look up with wide eyes.

Your father and Alastor were now looking at each other as both had reached out to grab the pitcher.

Alastor ears were perked as he gave your father a sharp smile, slowly retracting his hand as he chuckled.

Your father however had a frown on his face and his lips pulled into a snarl, eyes narrowing.

You wanted to be swallowed up by the floor.

Your father’s eyes cut to you, making your cheeks burn as you looked away, embarrassed.

“You wanna tell me why he responded to that? You know what i already have an inkling. Alastor meet me out back” your father growled standing up, making a move to grab his shotgun.

”There’s no need for that!” You whined, standing up to block your father from Alastor.

”Sir i assure you that isn’t half of what she calls me” the red demon chuckled darkly, making the older demon rush at him. 

Alastor disappeared in a shrew of shadows, taking you with him.

”Dinner was lovely as always Madam” he kissed your mother’s cheek, disappearing as the sound of a shot rang out.

”Well dinner was rather eventual” he smirked, you facepalmed

”i am never going home again. How will i face them again after that?” You whine. Alastor kissed your cheek

”Dear you’ve called me worst, I’m sure hell forget about it”

———————————————————————————-

“Um guys why is there a demon with a shotgun shouting outside the hotel?” Charlie asked.

You groaned, glaring at Alastor

[bambisnc]

operation : true love - how likely riize is to NOT confess!

pairing : ot7 x reader! genre : crack + fluffff cw/tw : food mention + littol bit rushed n uneditted D: wc : im guessing maybe 400ish? -> update its 495!

shotaro : 2/10 - cutie would plan out eveyrhting the moment he sees you and has that italicised oh moment - i'm talking your favorite flowers delivered by hand followed by your ideal date + lots of fairy lights/candles. trust me.) and woo you exactly how you deserve to be wooed <3 would get a little anxious about making everything perfect for you tho

eunseok : 7/10 - he'd lowkey be such a tsundere ... thanks to my talk w mai i'm fully convinced he's the Only academic rival to lover to exist. would for sure pine after you silently and end up confessing in the middle of an argument. you know like "why do YOU care who i'm going out?" "BECAUSE. i like you. okay bye."

sungchan : 192830429283/10 - im biased sorry. but you can't tell me you don't see best friend!him being so obsessed with you - like all your friends know it, hell even you know it but the guy himself refuses to admit. is so "we're besties!! it's natural for us to hug and hold hands and make out between classes in the janitors closet :D i mean what. i didnt say anything" coded like c'mon

wonbin : a solid 13/10 - i feel like he'd be really conflicted. like on one hand he'd rather you be the one to confess but on the other he wants to do like a huge romantic gesture and be the one to confess to you. i can imagine there being this one phase of time where he'd kinda start ignoring you to get you to reach out to him or wtv tactics the insta/tiktok girlies (gn) teach him too

seunghan : 5/10 - okay but i see him either just randomly blurting it out of nowhere over a voice call or while ur ft-ing ("hey this cat reminded me of u" "aww haha im in love with you" "WHAT") OR doing it via a more traditional, thought out kinda way ... maybe like making you a gift or writing you a love letter/song :(( <3

sohee : 4/10 - bbg is confessing to you so fast. he'd only do it once he confirms (multiple times) that you both like each other though. is immediately planning the best way he could confess to you. does all his necessary research, books everything in advance - goes all out to ensure there's no hitches, basically. him and taro probably share notes

anton : 11/10 - bro is Not confessing. you can feel free to tho he'll say yes obvi! as soon as he gains back enough conherence after he (half) faints that is. for sure the type to get you soso many gifts and he'd try to be so casual about it too "hey i got u a customized acessroies set with the fav flower/colour you like" "anton wtf" "uh no dw i had an extra hahaha". def gets u guys matching stuff a lot too

notes : imma not be online for at least a day (shocker) so queueing this!!!! -> well that was a lie <3 + [m.list] song rec : LOVE ME BACK BY FROMIS 9 WEEWOO WEEWOO

[lainsshop]

A Lovely Night ౨ৎ

Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Tags: fluff(?), crack(?), developing relationship, dancing, singing, lalaland n probably more..

Song: A Lovely Night - La La Land

A/N: Sorry if it’s so bad even tho I just copied everything from the scene but please give feedback if it’s bad..

You n Alastor were walking around the empty streets of the Cannibal Colony.

He insisted that he wanted to spend the night together in a lil cafe to just “catch up” even tho you guys always see each other in the hotel, Hazbin Hotel.

It wasn’t unusual for you two to spend nights like this, you used to hang out before he disappeared for 7 whole years.. he still won’t tell you why cause nobody needs to know.. which it did kinda annoyed you but that’s how Alastor was and still is.

Even if it did annoyed you and his whole person itself, you still had developed a tiny crush on him, in your words anyways. You clearly had a crisis cause you’ve never had crushes so it was a new feeling for you.. you wanted to throw up and keep being in denial but sooner or later you will accept it so there was no point in hiding it.

Alastor knew you so clear as a book so he obviously knew about ur lil crush on him but he didn’t said anything cause he enjoyed your reaction to almost everything, it was entertaining after all. So he waited for you to just burst out but not without his “help”.

As you continue to walk, you suddenly tripped a bit. “Shit..” You said under your breathe. You don’t know why in hell did you wanted to wear heels today but here you are! Being an idiot..

“Those look uncomfortable.” Alastor said as his smile grew a bit wider. “They aren’t..” You responded, clearly a bit annoyed.

You two didn’t said anything further on until Alastor spoke up. “Thank you for this wonderful night, my dear, reminds me of the old times.” He said. “You didn’t give me much of a choice anyways.” You replied, Alastor just chuckled at that. “Oh but I know you enjoyed it either way.” “… whatever.” You said.

You continued to walk up a hill and stumble across the city skyline. A ribbon of lights, stretching as far as you can see. It’s the most romantic sight in hell that you’ve seen since who knows how long it as been. You looked at each other. A beat. And then..

You shrug. As you continue to walk a bit. “I’ve seen better.” You commented. “I have to agree with that.” Alastor responded as he walked to the pole and started to sing..

“The sun is nearly gone.. n the lights are turning on, a silver shine that stretches to the sea.” You knew Alastor could sing and all but you honestly didn’t expect that right now. He was many things that you couldn’t quite puzzle out. “We’ve stumbled on a view, that’s a tailor-made for two.. what a shame those two are you n me.” He said he walked towards you. You wanted to looked annoyed but the way he’s singing makes you wanna.. but you just rolled your eyes and walk towards somewhere else trying to ignore him. “Some other girl and guy, would love this swirling sky..” He said walking next to you. “But there’s only you and I, and we’ve got no shot,” You wanted to laugh at that but- “This could never be, you’re not the type for me.” He says as he’s smile grew a bit.

Oh, he was teasing you at this point. “Really?” You saiid unamused. “And there’s not a spark in sight, what a waste of a lovely night..” He sings before walking away.

You narrowed your eyes as you looked at him before clearing your throat. “You said there’s nothing here, well, let’s make something clear, I think I’ll be the one to make that call.” You sing along. “Not quite sure about that, darling.” He commented as he looked at you. “And though you looked so cute in your silky lil suit..”

“It’s polyester.”

“You’re right, I’d never fall for you at all..” You lied. “And maybe this appeals to someone not in heels.” You said as you walk to the bench. “Or any girl who feels, there’s some chance in romance but, I’m frankly feeling nothing..” You sing as Alastor looks at you still smiling as he raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?” “Or it could be less than nothing.” “Good to know, so you agree?” “That’s right..”

“What a waste of a lovely night.” You both sang along.

Alastor sits next to you in the bench. You cross your leg as you take one of your heels and put on some more comfortable shoes. Alastor looked at his shoes and started to “accidentally” move dirt towards you, just to annoy you. You paused and give him a glare and lightly hit him in the chest and continue to put remove your other heel.

He started to mock you as he cross his leg too. As you finish with changing shoes, you two put your feet down and you looked at him suspiciously, and started to move in sync. Alastor turned to look at the view and looked at you, he tried to poke you but you stopped him.

As you two slide from to the other side of the bench, he grabbed your bag and tried to open it but you snatched it from him. He suddenly jumps onto the bench and starts dancing and gets off. You two suddenly started to move in sync and jump onto the bench once again looking at the view and then each other and jumped off the bench and started to really dance.

As you two stopped dancing, yall got closer and closer.. on that moment you just wanted to confess to him and everything. Oh, he was very much waiting for that. You slightly opened your mouth to speak and then-

Your cellphone ring started to go off, it was Charlie.

© LAINSSHOP 2024

Tag List: @thisisafish123

[midnightorchids]

Hey babe- I wanted to know how you felt about booknerd!reader x Jason. Because it's been rotting my brain forever now and I need to know what someone as genius as yourself thinks about it. So like- We know Jason is a book girl. He's got huge floor to ceiling shelves in his apartment filled with non-fiction, historical fiction, classics, and maybe a few Si-Fi titles. I feel like he would love Toni Morison, Maya Angelou, Henrik Isben, Margret Atwood, and maybe even Harukai Murakami. He has this beautiful collection of leather bond additions of the Iliad Bruce gave him when he was 16. And when he finally invites you over, he cannot contain his excited smile as you start gushing over his home library. He makes you guys coffee and you spend hours talking about your fav genres, authors, online author drama - and after he's walking back to his apartment after dropping you off, he's smiling down at his phone at the message you sent. 'I had so much fun today! Ur library is so so so cool, was wondering if you would be ok going with me to Chapters next week? Wanted to pick up the new Skyward book' He's kicking his feet and hiding his face in his pillow. So deeply overjoyed that his crush shares in his immense love of literature. After you guys officially get together, he buys you so many fucking books. He fallows your goodreads wishlist religiously and surprises you almost every month with a new addition to your growing collection. He usually collects used paper backs, but for you, he splurges on the hardcover special additions. Of course it's because he loves you but it's also so that, maybe, you'll be more incentivised to move into a different apartment. One with floor-to-ceiling book shelves and a shared bed... just saying.. He branches out into more genres and authors he wouldn't usually read from just so he could talk about your favourite books with you. You do the same - your book collections getting mixed together in the process. Library dates, bookstore dates, used-bookstore dates. Your first couple of dates and realisations of love happened in and around books. You would always leave little messages inside the first page of the books you give him. So that if your every away or he's on a mission and he takes a book with him, he'll have one of your small messages of love as a reminder of something to return home to.

Hi hon!! I’m so sorry for the late response, I’ve been dying with uni and just life in general recently, but I’m back and ready to write again!!

I fully agree with almost everything that you said, like you’ve written it out so well and it’s just so cute! I was literally giggling and kicking my feet at the last one omg.

I shall try to add more stuff!!

Jason’s go to present for his loved ones is annotated copies of his favourite books. He only does this when he feels comfortable with a person because sharing his thoughts feels raw and vulnerable sometimes.

Having a significant other who loves to read and appreciates these types of gifts would make him feel happy and very emotional. It’s not often he gets to share this side of himself with people.

When he gifts his copies to his friends or his partner, he feels like he’s leaving a piece of him with the person, so he only does this when he trusts you.

He leaves detailed little messages on the margins of his books. He draws little smiley faces on the cute parts and angry faces on the parts that made him upset.

In the books for his significant other, Jason leaves little notes around the quotes that remind him of you. He highlights them in a different colour and makes sure his notes look extra tidy.

He sucks at wrapping things, so sometimes you’ll get a very poorly wrapped, tape covered novel. You’ll look at the wrapping and laugh, you’d pinch his cheeks teasingly and tell him he did a good job. He’d turn his face away in embarrassment, which leads to you placing a gentle kiss on his cheek.

Then, there would be times where he doesn’t have the energy to deal with the horrible wrapping paper. So, you’ll be gifted a plain paper back with a sticky note on the front cover that reads ‘for you,’ in squiggly lines.

It’s honestly sweet and he gets very shy about it.

Also, Jason’s taste in books is very diverse, he reads anything from the classics to romance to gothic horror. He reads anything and everything and because of that, I think that it would be very easy for you to share your thoughts and recommendations with him.

Even if Jason hasn’t read the book, he listens intently with a huge smile on his face. He loves listening to you talk. If he doesn’t know the author or the book, he will try to familiarize himself with what you’re reading and branch into different genres.

There would be lots of reading and bookstore dates. You’d browse through the different aisles with his hand in yours, only letting go when a particular book catches your attention. He watches you in awe as you gush about the different series.

(Side note, my friends and I always go to bookstores and just point out the worst books we’ve read and I think Jason would do that too.)

As you search through the shelves to find your next read, he’ll come to you all excited, rambling about the book in his hand. From the looks of it, it seems like he loves the book. His hands are moving around, he’s smiling and giggling, but if you pay attention, he’s actually just cussing out the author.

This becomes a tradition in your relationship. You both bring up books that you hate instead of the ones that you really enjoy. You’d spend the next hour of your bookstore visit just giggling at the random passages that the author thought were good enough to share with the world.

I think this would also lead to a book club of reading awful books sometimes just for shits and giggles. There would be weeks where you would read amazing, well written stories together, but then there would be times when you guys would pick up something bad just to make fun of it.

Overall, Jason would love having a book nerd significant other because he finally has someone who he can geek out with.

[sirenologyyy]

EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT LOVE !

୨ৎ summary : wherein singer!reader books her next role in the ballad of songbirds and snakes after starring in the third highest-grossing movie of all time called avatar: the way of water, and falls for the bad guy... of course

୨ৎ warnings : cussing, that's pretty much it HEHEEHEH

୨ৎ author's note : YA'LL I've never seen laufey as a faceclaim in these before she's gorgeous. Also, your character in atwow is named Magnolia Quaritch, you're in Daisy Jones and The Six as a Jazz singer named Vienna Cartwright and a character in House of The Dragon named Theadosia Baratheon.

yourusername

tagged: @/jamieflatters @/baileybass @/jackchampion

liked by rachelzegler, sukiwaterhouse, hunterschafer, baileybass, jackchampion, livkatecooke and 176,987 others

yourusername the sexy skxawngs are SO back 🤩🙏🔥

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jackchampion DUDEEE YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T GUNNA POST THAT PIC OF ME

⤷ yourusername obviously I lied

user1 NAWW YA'LL ARE SO CUTE

user2 OMGGG your boots are giving

user3 average brother and sister dynamic

user4 HELLO DON'T TELL ME Y/N AND JACK PLAY SIBLINGS IN AVATAR????

⤷ user3 HELP yeah they do they're quaritch's kids and they're stepsiblings, y/n's character is named magnolia she was born on pandora like three or four years before spider was

⤷ user4 they barely look alike HELP

⤷ jackchampion no because we keep saying that too

⤷ yourusername @/slang_711 your response 🎤🎤🎤

user4 naw HAHAAHAHA

rachelzegler YA'LL ARE SO CUTEEE

⤷ yourusername MWAH

jamieflatters what is that picture of me

⤷ yourusername my finger slipped

⤷ jamieflatters this is an injustice

⤷ yourusername mb I'm sorry

⤷ jamieflatters you know you aren't

baileybass no because that day in london was so fun omggg

yourusername especially when it started raining and we all were just running around like headless chickens and we took cover inside that empty ambulance

⤷ jackchampion and then I totally didn't fall getting out

⤷ baileybass lies

⤷ yourusername falsehoods

⤷ jamieflatters these people deserve the truth jackson

user5 UGH y/n's so pretty I wish she was real :/

user1 frl I wish pretty people were real

user6 jack eating dino nuggies and mac and cheese with a coke sends me

⤷yourusername I have a folder on my phone with 18 seperate photos of jack eating the same meal over the course of filming atwow

⤷ jackchampion WHAT???

⤷ yourusername my lil bro 😔

⤷ user6 PUAHAAHAGAHSHS

⤷ jackchampion girl bye I'm literally 6 feet tall

⤷ yourusername nobody asked jack

⤷ jamieflatters yeah jack

ayoedibiri I miss you 😔

⤷ yourusername I miss YOU

user7 MAGNOLIA QUARITCH 🔛🔝

user8 if magnolia quaritch has a million fans I'm one of them, if she has a hundred fans I'm one of them, if she had 0 fans I'm DEAD

hunterschafer looking tew good babes x

⤷ yourusername ure too kind 🫡 🫶

user9 HELPPP BECAUSE JAMIE'S FACE IN THE BEGGINING

⤷ yourusername he tried gochujang for the first time

⤷ jackchampion top 10 worst anime fails

user7 I think you cropped me outta some of these babes 💋

user8 imagine breathing the same air as y/n y/l/n is rn like I cannot imagine 😔

user10 y/n what's ur favorite hot wheels car

user11 come home the kids miss you 😔

user12 can magnolia come and dissect me like that bladder polyp 30 minutes into the movie

yourusername

tagged: @/lionsgate

liked by rachelzegler, hunterschafer, jackchampion, tomblyth, joshandresrivera, oliviarodrigo and 500, 975 others

yourusername show our girl mira sage baird some love, the ballad of songbirds and snakes out now November 17th!

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user1 STOP STOP STOP

user2 THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY SHE'S PLAYING MIRA SAGE

rachelzegler welcome to the rodeo big sis 🎹🎶✨️

⤷ yourusername let's fcking do this thing

user3 im literally screaming crying and throwing up right now OMFG RACHEL JUST CALLED Y/N BIG SIS

user4 STOP BCS I just finished reading tbosas yesterday

user5 OH MY FUCKING GOD MIRA PLAYING THE PIANOOOO

user6 these stills are everything to me

jackchampion SO SO SO PROUD OF YOU 🙌

⤷ yourusername #1 WINGMAN FRL 💯

user7 her first freaking role was literally playing stephen lang's daughter in a james cameron film, then immediately booking the role of serafyna freaking baratheon in house of the dragon, then playing a jazz singer in daisy jones and the six, NOW SHE'S IN THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES???

user8 no one's doing it like her frl

user1 "OUR GIRL MIRA SAGE BAIRD" WHAT IF I START SOBBING

user5 like hello I'm never getting over this tf 😭💔💔💔

user3 Y/N Y/L/N THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE

tomblyth hey nightingale

⤷ yourusername wsp gent

user9 OH MY FUCKING GOD NO ONE TALK TO ME RIGHT NOWWWWWWW

⤷ user3 DID THEY JUST CALL EACHOTHER BY THEIR NICKNAMES OH LORD

user5 they saw an opportunity and took it

ashleyjliao oh ya'll are not READYYYY

user11 TOM BLYTH AND Y/N Y/L/N NATION RISE

user8 IM LITERALLY SCREAMING RIGHT NOW HOLY SHITTTTTTTT??@@?@?!!?!,#*#(

⤷ user1 someone time this exact moment these two made frickin history tonight

⤷ user6 I'm so glad I stayed up for this holy shit

⤷ user8 it's literally 5:39 am for me rn I literally have to defend a thesis in 3 hours and I am wide awake bouncing around my dorm

⤷ yourusername oh babes get some sleep 😭 (good luck on your thesis btw you're gunna kill it! 💓)

⤷ user8 IM GOING TO BED RN MISS MA'AM 🫡

⤷ user10 replying to user8 NAW GIRL I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE REPLIED TO YOU

⤷ user8 replying to user10 IT CAN ONLY GO DOWNHILL FROM HERE DUDE

user7 I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS MOMENT OMFGDYDHDU

baileybass can't wait 🤍

⤷ yourusername I love you so much bai bai 🫶🏼

user12 oh my FUCK is that the scene where sejanus and mira have that conversation outside the hob???

⤷ user9 OH THERE'S NO WAY

⤷ user13 STOP WE'RE FINALLY GETTING THE "you're everything I could ever have wanted" SCENE

⤷user9 AAAAAAAAA I CAN'T WAIT OH MY GOD?!?!?

⤷ user6 UGHDGDFC MY SEJMIRA HEARTTTTTTT 😭💗

⤷ user3 I apologise for the person I will become once I see Sejanus and Mira at my local theatre

⤷ hunterschafer me neither

⤷ user3 HUNTER'S A SEJMIRA SHIPPER CONFIRMED?????

⤷ user6 hunter I love you

⤷user3 HUNTER SHIPS SEJMIRA YA'LL HEARD IT HERE FIRST 🗣🗣🗣

⤷user12 NO BECAUSE IF WE'RE GETTING THE HOB SCENE THEN THE CLIFF SCENE IS 3 DAYS AFTER...

⤷user13 oh...

⤷ user1 I DON'T THINK I WILL SURVIVE THIS

⤷ user2 yeah and neither does-

⤷ user8 NAWWW STFU @/user2

⤷user12 don't even go there @/user2

⤷user10 GET THE HELL OUT @/user2

⤷ user10 DONT EVEN CONTINUE THAT SENTENCE @/user2

joshandresrivera prepare to have your knocks socked off

⤷yourusername oh they dunno what's COMING

⤷ rachelzegler stop because tell me why I was sobbing even more than you were while you were performing mira sage's song 😭

⤷ yourusername we were inconsolable that day 😭😭😭 i think even Tom was tearing up too

⤷ tomblyth no you're wrong there was a busted pipe above my spot it kept leaking into my eye

⤷yourusername sure honey.

user14 NAWWWW ☝️☝️☝️

user15 someone check up on tom if he's still breathing cuz if y/n fucking y/l/n ever called me honey I'd be GONEEEEEEE

user16 @/tomblyth are u alright pal

⤷ joshandresrivera his eyes were literally irritated when I looked at him during our first initial take

⤷tomblyth nice going josh

⤷ yourusername rachel never let him go

⤷ rachelzegler duly noted

user17 y/n y/l/n as mira sage baird oh someone up there is looking out for me frl

rachelzegler

tagged: @/yourusername

liked by yourusername, tomblyth, joshandresrivera, hunterschafer and 168, 753 others

rachelzegler new york, new york - Frank Ocean

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joshandresrivera alright I see how it is

⤷ rachelzegler it's not you, it's me?

yourusername I'm coming after your entire career Joshua

tomblyth I asked if you wanted to go hang out in new york with me and you told me you were busy?

⤷ yourusername but I was 😁

⤷ rachelzegler get in line blyth

⤷ tomblyth I'm devastated, truly

⤷ yourusername it's not my fault I'm incredibly sought after, I'm sorry Tom

⤷ hunterschafer go tell 'em honey!!!

⤷ yourusername better luck next time @/tomblyth

⤷ tomblyth there's still a next time?

⤷yourusername For you? Always

⤷tomblyth I'm the luckiest man alive, I feel like I'm going to soar out of my flat any minute now, maybe do somersaults in the sky I'm not sure, we'll see.

yourusername liked this comment

user1 not Tom Blyth being down bad

user2 HELLO??? TOM???

user3 why do they sound so flirty wtf...

user4 dosen't Tom have a gf HELPPPP

user5 I don't think it's confirmed

⤷ user4 it better not be cuz why am I kinda eating this up

user6 NO BCS SAME ADFSDGSJSSHZ

lionsgate our favorite sister duo 💕

⤷ yourusername iktr 🙏

⤷ rachelzegler this is a WIN

user7 OH WE NEED THOSE DIGICAM PICS RNNNN

user8 @/yourusername LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN ‼️‼️‼️

user9 Y/N AND RACHEL IN NEW YORK Y/N AND RACHEL IN NEW YORK Y/N AND RACHEL IN NEW YORK

user10 THERE'S NO WAY I WAS 5 MINS AWAY FROM THAT RESTAURANT AND DIDN'T GO THERE 😭😭😭

user11 y/n l/n and rachel zegler my bestfriends

user12 HELP THE TEXT WITH Y/N AND RACHEL IM CREASING

⤷ user11 IKR THIS IS SO UNSERIOUS

⤷ user10 I wonder if she actually got the Lucy Gray barbie

⤷ yourusername everywhere we went it was sold out 😭

⤷ user12 NAHHH QUEEN YOU DESERVE SM BETTER

user3 @/tomblyth you might wanna get onto that

⤷ user5 @/tomblyth GET THIS GIRL HER LUCY GRAY BARBIE

⤷ user4 @/tomblyth YK WHAT TO DO

user14 HAHAHAAYAH NOT YA'LL TAGGING HIMMM 😭😭😭

user15 I know Y/N was mourning for that spilt coffee

⤷ rachelzegler OH YOU BEST BELIEVE SHE WAS DISTRAUGHT

user16 and they were thrifting too UGH I wanna be able to go thrifting with y/n and rachel

⤷ user14 I wonder who got those cowboy boots

⤷yourusername actually we both saw it at the same time but I ended up giving it to Rachel because I'm a wonderful person! (and we totally didn't fight over it inside goodwill!)

rachelzegler 😭😭😭

tomblyth

tagged: @/joshandresrivera @/rachelzegler @/yourusername see more...

liked by yourusername, rachelzegler, joshandresrivera, ashleyjliao, hirokiberrecloth and 268, 836 others

tomblyth HG film dump. We had our flaky croissants, our chewy croissants, but alas, not one croissant on earth could live up to these beautiful people. teebosass coming to theaters near you. ❄️❄️❄️

rachelzegler FIRST!!!

rachelzegler ugh blyth you sap

⤷ tomblyth what can I say

ashleyjliao 🥐🥐🥐

yourusername that cucumber salad did not taste as good as you manipulated me into believing

⤷ tomblyth hey you could use the vitamin K, you're welcome ❤️

⤷ yourusername this is what playing a pre tyrannical president of a dystopian world does to you kids

user1 yes mom 🫡

user1 AWWW THE GROUP PIC OF ALL THE MENTORS 🥹🥹🥹

⤷ user2 I'm abt to sob

user3 so excited OMGGG

user2 YA'LL THE CABIN SCENE I WILL NEVER RECOVER...

user4 sofia crying makes me wanna cry too wtf

user5 the tributes and mentors aww

⤷ user3 I'm having that picture framed and put on a pedestal

user6 Y/N getting her own picture is so cute 🫶

user7 holy shit ur right

⤷ user2 replying to user6 she literally got a single picture all to herself while the others were with someone else on every photo

⤷ user8 CHAT WHAT IS GOING AWNNN

user8 no because y/n having her own picture meanwhile everyone else had to share the spotlight is making me think thoughts...

user9 oh twitter's about to blow up and second now

user10 @/y/nsidehoe on twt 🔥🔥🔥

user11 you were amazing in Billy the Kid!

user12 RACHEL IS SO POOKIEEEE

user13 these photos are so well shot though

user14 the tributes all hugging eachother ugh MY HEART

user15 josh's posture is cracking me tf up 😭

⤷ user10 BWHAHAGSSJAJSSJS

user16 10 MINUTES AGK HOLY SHITTTT

user17 y/n's face though HELP ME

user18 Y/N NATION HOW TF ARE WE FEELING???

user19 I don't even wanna speculate anything atp remember what happened to her and Charles Leclerc?

user17 oh NAWWW they were definitely a thing, did you SEE those yacht pics?

user10 it was a shame they never confirmed it though they were so cute 😔

user20 YALL dosen't tom have a gf???

⤷ user18 nothing's confirmed, pretty sure he said him and the girl were good friends in an article somewhere LMFAO

⤷ user8 omg link

⤷ user13 (2)

⤷ user18 hold on dms

user21 josh and rachel have my heart fssss 🫶

user22 y/n nation boutta start shipping them I'm frl calling it

user23 it'll be gone in a week or so then she'll hop onto the next male lead in her next film

⤷ user22 HAAHAHA SHUDDUPPP

⤷ user23 for promo ✨️

⤷ user24 she's doing smth to these men I swear, spiking their drinks, keeping voodoo dolls of em or sumn

⤷ user23 WAIT STOP AHAHSHSAH