#and what it could mean

[single-malt-scotch]

of course i have things to say about lim life and bdubs. you know its funny and great- of course i would love his pov. but i still feel satisfied by what i saw and i dont feel like i do. there is something very different about witnessing a player this way, something we really havent had at all. and of everyone its bdubs. the guy who is associated with time and the guy who acts out so well to the narrative in front of him. and we dont lose anything- bdubs is still bdubs.

after double life we see him team up with people he hadnt from LL-DL. something fresh. together they create a family themed around time and at the center of the map they make a clock tower. they watch every death that spawns for entertainment. regardless of his need to stay with the clockers he continuously shows attachment to TIES/etho (mostly etho). it may be in jest but the clockers point out numerous times that this behavior doesnt shock them, that of course hes like that with etho and of course its muddying his alliances. and lets not forget the grudges held by most members of TIES (eventually Skizz on the list for a bit due to killing him), a neat detail in this funny little situation.

and then for a good whole episode it does make a problem- in the sense it confuses him and everyone else as to where he lies. he later defends the hell out of etho even from the meta jokes of being washed up, later in game of putting himself in front of a group that wants to kill etho, again in offer his life that etho doesnt take. we dont get to hear his thought process, whatever commentary he may be giving about why he really wanted to be with etho again and why he struggled to make it happen. we see it through everyone else. cleo, who is amused at bdubs' very typical behavior but evermore trying to convince him to not go wot etho. etho, who gets glimpses at bdubs from afar and a few moments where they meet in private, having a connection only two close friends could have alone. the rest of TIES who takes him in in brief moments but never hearing more. overall in the end hes around and hes trying to do good, hes "trying his heart out", theres attempts being made but we can see them slip and falter from things outside of his control. the timing is never right.

but no im not done actually. his attempt to help isnt just tied to etho. bdubs has shown himself to be caring and kind, and putting himself out there in order to help others. i think thats where he fell apart- he wanted to keep it all good between clockers and TIES, despite the family dynamic putting in stone that it wasnt possible. as a whole he wanted to be in the middle and this extended to many other interactions. there wasnt a single person that bdubs was actively against this season (yes including skizz- their dynamic was on the same level after he first fight so it became mutual imo), no long building hate, and the clockers were welcoming to others too in their alliances but bdubs did still stand out as the clockers denied TIES and he held on to them. further in we get to the moments where bdubs then offers himself up. its like there was a realization on the game in episode 7, they were far enough in that he thought maybe he could help just before it got worse. he went up to jimmy who's known to die first (yet someone he hardly interacted with) and desperately and repeatedly asks to be killed and of course jimmy takes it, hes only a few minutes away. and then of course he tries again with etho, twice, including helping a fight and etho doesnt take it. you can hear bdubs in the background still laying out what etho could do.

as the season reaches its end let me wind back a bit to deaths in general. bdubs earliest death was certainly an interesting one, one fight he was so confident about and completely failed at, missing numerous hits. and this isnt a surprise to me. bdubs was actually pretty.... well he lacked a lot of kills this season. and not knowing his time for sure through the episodes made this all more interesting to watch, you know? he never seemed like he was really seeking it out. even in a stream before session 8 scar and grian both say they have no clue what bdubs' time is. im sure someone added this up but for everyone else and the average watcher, we see him fumbling or giving his time all while not thinking at all about what he had left just before the end. and then hes the first one to go out in episode 8. its not that it wasnt expected, but his time being in the dark for so much of the series leaves you not thinking about it. it didnt seem like he died that much, it didnt seem like his timer was that now- you wouldnt know for sure unless you saw his pov. most of all, we never really hear him asking for time? there arent any key moments with him saying he really needs to kill. hes fighting, hes helping, but theres barely a hint of desperation to hunt people down- he just stayed in the place he usually was, around the tower, hoping to lend a hand.

and death again. how does his series end? unexpected, completely unknowing to what would kill him. impulse had killed him once earlier and tried to a second time and the cute thing about it? they were laughing the whole time. this could be the moment where youd say impulse got the kill he wanted. and then we get to bdubs' perma death and its impulse again and he never saw it coming- out of the game first that session and left to spectate everyone until the next start to die. quietly until he gets in the chat.. not unlike LL, but not for nearly as long.

and of course, so much of his time is spent in around the clock tower. this led to all of the clocker's demise, with ow dangerous of a location it became, and its all the more in character for each of them to go out there. theres of course something poetic to take from that.

so what does bdubs give us this season? why does it still mean something despite his pov? well it can mean whatever you want it to mean, it can add up to whatever narrative you took from limited life. i dont know if we will know for sure why bdubs didnt upload outside of what he loosely stated on stream. but forever hes someone i look to for an act that has so much to take from it. intentional or not hes putting something in i never see from anyone else. there doesnt need to even be an artistic reason for his choice to not post but his choices always add up to something and i do think he goes out there knowing full well what he can do. he played a type only he can play, because its inherently just who he is and he will never stop being him and that is so great. ill never doubt his decision no matter if it was purposeful, or personal. bdubs is still bdubs and that is all that i wanted.

[officialspec]

can i say something. for years i thought the joke of the song short skirt/long jacket by cake was that he wanted a woman who was hung like a horse. like i thought when he says jacket it was a last-second fakeout because he very obviously meant to say cock. and the rest of the things in the song were just her personality and interests. which were secondary to her awesome penis

[mynnthia]

was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.

to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:

kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him

[madscientistenthusiast]

Personally I think that Azula should have been redeemed simply so that she can become Zuko's horrible little advisor who whispers evil little plans to him so that he can do the exact opposite

[callisteios]

Hi, feel free to take my new uquiz to discover what kind of vampire you are!

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Pt I good omens but i've never watched it

i've never seen good omens but it's all over my tumblr dash so this is what I've gathered can someone please confirm if i've got it right

there's a demon named crowley

there's a biblically inaccurate angel named aziraphale but like it's very sexy when the demon calls him 'angel'

the demon and angel have been married for 6000 years and they still keep looking at each other all sappily

Neil Gaiman is somehow involved, I think he's the writer but also he's on tumblr (uh, @neil-gaiman) and people keep questioning if he's real

is neil gaiman like a fandom inside joke why is everyone asking if he's real

there actors are called michael and david and amazon prime thought they were the same

there is a bookstore and crowley is sad

they kiss and it is very nice and desperate and crowley says we could have been us. i have no context for this. someone is going to heaven i think.

there is a god, i'm not sure if they're good or evil though

the demon wears sunglasses

it's a comedy but for some reason everyone's crying after whatever the last season was, are you guys okay

things are on fire

they are very gay

there was a book and at one point they switch bodies

more fire and crowley screaming

they are called ineffable husbands i dont know what that means

they fight crime or they do crime or they fight crime by doing crime i really cannot remember which

gay

[waywardblackkitty]

The unspoken truth

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

[aarchimedes]

for context: I read the hobbit first over the course of two years when I was like 13, but I'm only now starting to read lotr. having a blast tho!

anyways, reblog if you feel like it 🙌🏻

[chloesimaginationthings]

Why was Nightmare Foxy in the closet in FNAF 4,,,

[woogiez]

something sacred

Ghoulcy Week: Prompt 4 - Finger For A Finger

[egophiliac]

ENG PLAYERS I BESEECH YOU

I have been informed that you guys are getting part 4 of episode 7 tomorrow, which means we are FINALLY going to get the official romanization of Revaan's name, somebody please tell me because I need to know what it is.

like, yes, it's probably just Revan/Levan, but look, I'm sitting here with my finger over the button of all these Laverne and Shirley jokes and just waiting for the opportunity to deploy them --

[forza55]

"the hottest thing a man could do is drive one-handed, palming the stirring wheel."

[nerdpoe]

Jazz and Johnny got...way more involved that Danny will ever want to know.

And Jazz, very liminal, actually fell pregnant.

She opted to leave for a bit, have the baby, and adopt it out. It was half ghost and half very liminal human, she had no idea what the GIW would do to it.

So she left on an "extended study trip", gave birth, gave it over to the adoption agency, warned them there was a high chance the kid would be a meta, and went about recovering.

Unbeknownst to her, that baby was immediately stolen by one Sheila Haywood for the purposes of tax fraud.

From there, the baby was given to Willis Todd, after Sheila lied and said that he was the father.

From there, the baby was put under the care of Catharine Todd, who died far too young.

From there, the kid tried to steal Batman's tires so he wouldn't starve.

Fast forward, and Jason Todd, now an adult, decides to pay a visit to the new head Psychologist of Arkham to vet the lady.

He ends up staring into a set of eyes that mirror his own, and when he runs the DNA from the hair he stole off of her, it comes back positive that yeah.

That's his mom.

[catmask]

if you ask me. being a good storyteller and love are inherently entwined. you cannot tell a good story without loving the people in it and loving those you tell it to. because to tell a good story is to understand it and its impact. to love is to understand how something moves through others and how to deliver it the way it would be best received. and how to breath life into something that did not exist before. storytelling is an act of creation sure but i do believe in all creation, there is love too. that there must be

[aliosne]

Saw a post about working class butches in physical labour jobs and wanted to make my own, so: I love you butches who do childcare or early education. I love you butch nurses. I love you butch house cleaners and janitorial staff. I love you service industry butches. I love you butches who do sex work. I love you working class butches who do “feminine” jobs you are cool as hell