#and when I tell you I had to physically force myself not to buy

[meownotgood]

almost fell to my knees in newbury comics bc they had the Look Up figure of Aki🥹 every time i see it i think of your pinned post its so cute

oh my gossshhhhh... I'd be doomed because I wouldn't be able to resist the urge to adopt him... even tho I already have a lookup aki... I can't resist his cute face

[qqqqqqqqqqq0]

[1whore1gang]

“You okay honey?”

Inspired by this post

Summary: the TF141 boys play rock, paper, scissors to determine who will play the role of the doting yet protective boyfruend for you tonight so pervs don’t come flirt with you

It’s short, but my brain isn’t working lately

warnings: some sexual content

“Guys come on, seriously.” I stared on as Price and Soap were in the ‘finals’ of their competition to see who’d be your fake boyfriend tonight at the bar. Price cheers as he finally defeats Soap, wrapping his arm around you and placing a sweet kiss to your temple.

This had been an ongoing thing with the four of them since you had an altercation with a creep at a bar and had to punch said dude in the face. The boys didn’t want you to worry about that anymore, so they always play the role of the protective boyfriend/fiancé/husband for you. It’s worked well so far, so you can’t complain.

You also won’t complain about the attention you get from them.

Each man had a different way, each with their own pros and cons.

Gaz was sweet and affectionate, and he was calm of a guy were to come up to you. He handled everything with grace, but he wasn’t too keen on being super touchy. He’d compliment you, stand behind you during conversations and maybe place a hand on your tight, but that was all.

Ghost, was hardly a boyfriend type. He didn’t ever touch you, unless you physically forced his hand into yours, and even then he’d tense at the action. As much as he cared and wanted to protect you, he wasn’t there to pretend to be your boyfriend, he was there to pummel any man who looked in your direction.

Soap, he was so much fun when he was your fake boyfriend. He was touchy, clingy, fiesty and all over perfect. He was always by your side, hands around your waist, lips pecking your neck lightly, teasing you. That was his approach, he’d tease you all night, make you want him. Most of the time, the moment you both left the bar, you’d burst out laughing at how you two acted, but there’s been some nights you ended up in his bed.

Price, was a beautiful fake lover. He was sweet and tender. He catered to you and always had a hand on you, silently claiming you as his to everyone in the bar. He’d whisper sweet nothings in your ear when he saw another man looking, making you squirm. He was your favorite by far, the way he so gently held you, kissed you. His actions were tender, the fire only showing up if a man wouldn’t leave you alone.

“You ready doll?” Price’s voice sounded out. You nodded, leaning into him.

You all headed out to the bar, the night going wonderfully. You had beaten Ghost in a game of pool, had the bartender buy you all a round of shots, and more. The music had you swaying your hips as you lined up your shot in pool. You were against Soap now, the championships.

You were lining up to hit the 8-ball, your jeans tightening around your ass when you felt a pair of strong hands grope you. You smiled, prepared to see Price, but before you could turn around, your eyes met all 4 men across the table from you. All four of them looked angry. You fully stood up, turning around to see an older man, maybe a couple years older than Price looking down at you seductively. “Can I help you?”

“Your ass looked to delicious, I couldn’t help myself.” He licked his lips.

“I suggest you back off.” Your voice was matter of factly.

“Why? You gonna hurt me? A little thing like you?” He cooed. I couldn’t help but laugh at the man. “What’s so funny?” He smiled.

“I won’t hurt you, but they will.” Throwing my thumb over my shoulder to the four men.

“You okay honey?” Price’s voice purred beside me, his hand landing on my back.

The guy looked up to Price, who towered over him. “I don’t know, am I?” I said, smirking at the man.

“I was just telling her how pretty she looked.” He gulped.

Price chuckled. “By grabbing her ass? Nuh uh.” Price stepped forward. “Let’s go have a little talk.” Grabbing the man’s arm, he took him outside of the bar.

Soap ran to you, asking if you were okay. You smiled and nodded your head. “Yeah I’m okay Johnny.” You patted his bicep.

Ghost and Gaz stood by the pool table, watching everyone’s things, including Price’s car keys and your purse.

Soon, Price waltzed back into the bar. His hips swaying as he sauntered back over to you, swooping his arm around your waist and pulling you in. “He won’t be bothering you anymore.” He kissed the top of your head as you returned to your pool tournament.

A couple of weeks later, you were all out a new bar across town, Soap’s arms wrapped around your waist as you spoke to some people. He had won the rock, paper, scissors that night. Your eyes widened as you heard a familiar voice, “You!”

Your face turned as Soap straightened up to his full height, one of his hands remaining on the small of your back. Your eyes met the man from the bar that night with Price. “Who’s this man? You get around fast.”

His voice was confident, like he had caught me doing something wrong. I looked at Soap, who looked ready to pounce. The fire was in Soap’s eyes as he bared his teeth in a smile. “You like my lady? Like what you see?”

“She’s a fiery one she is, just look at her.” The man bit his lip as he made a curve motion with his hands to simulate the shape of your hips. Soap let out a low chuckle.

“Any man knows you don’t answer that question honestly.” He dead panned, Soap’s voice deadly. “Why don’t I make this easy on you and let you walk away unharmed?”

The other man licked his lips, unmoving. Soap took a step forward, his hand sliding off of you as he stood just next to you, his size defined next to you.

“Either you walk away or you never walk again.” Soap growled.

The man quickly cowered, eyes widened. “Where do you find these men?” He shouted before scampering into the crowd.

“Thank you.” I said, kissing Soap. He was always much more willing to do PDA than the others, really making it believable to those in the bar that you were a couple.

“Anything for you my dear.” Soap said sweetly. “Shall we ditch this joint?”

I giggled, grabbing at his chest. “Are you gonna do that thing with your fingers again?” I bit my lip.

We heard someone clear their throat as we both backed away from each other, looking to the other 3 men. “We’re right here ya know?” Ghost spoke.

Soap and I laughed as the others bursted out in chuckles and smiles.

“Ya we know.” You said, earning some more chuckles out of the men and an ass grab from Soap.

[bellodazai]

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚. - soup makes it all better

you groggily woke up to the doorbell ringing multiple times, and then a few knocks. you had woken up with a running nose which never stopped no matter how many times you blew your nose. only being able to breath through one nostril was a pain. the doorbell is rung again and more knocks as you walk towards the front door.

just as you get to the front door dazai opens it, in his right hand a bobby pin bent clearly used to pick the lock, and in his left hand he had a bag with unknown contents to you. He welcomed himself in with a “good morning sleeping beauty” said towards you with a charming smile as if to say don’t get mad at me for picking your lock.

dazai was wearing a different outfit from his usual work clothes, some blue jeans with a beige jumper thrown over his figure, his hair a mess as usual. he closed the door behind him dumping the bag on the coffee table and before you could protest about him staying away from you to not catch whatever sickness is festering away, he threw his arms around you, bringing your face to his chest.

“my poor poor sweet darling love is sick” he said swinging your body side and side. you never told him you were sick because you just woke up with the sickness. placing your hands on his chest you pull yourself back a bit, his arms still around you but your face away from his chest and looking up at his face, soft brown eyes that you adore looking down at you with a smile.

“number one” you said putting your index finger up in his face. “how did you know i was sick i only felt the symptoms today” you said sniffling badly needing a tissue right now. “ah my love, i can just tell from yesterday” he said tapping his temple with his index finger, as if it was obvious you were sick and that you should have known too. “your breathing was different more shallow than usual, your energy levels were done and your voice sounded a little more high pitched than usual as well as you were physically more exhausted than you normally are after a full nights sleep” he finished with a smile, looking at your confused and at the same time a little shocked reaction at how much he noticed about you and how he saw the changes you didn’t notice.

not responding to his deduction you then put up your second finger, your middle finger. “number two stay away from me i’m sick” you said pushing him with more force this time off you. “but my love” he whined his arms outstretched “i need you in my arms to heal you from your body being attacked from a horrendous disease.” he dramatised.

“you just want to get sick so you can get out of work” you accused pointing your finger at him, but your congested nose made you sound funny dazai couldn’t help but burst out into laughter at your attempt of being ‘threatening’ to him. “stop laughing” you whined which just made him continue his fit of laughter towards you.

“okok” he said catching his breath grabbing the bag he originally put down on the table. “i bought you some chicken soup, best thing for recovery” he said bringing out a container of soup m. “i erm well it was late at night so i tried to make the soup myself.” he said sounding unsure of himself because he had never cooked for you before let alone cook for himself as he didn’t have the best knowledge in cooking according to him.

“you made soup just for me?” you asked heart melting because he went out of his way late at night to buy the ingredients and make the soup himself and he came here early in the morning, when by this time he usually is still fast asleep or just in bed not bothered to get up and out. dazai had also never cooked for you before, now that you think about it you don’t think you’ve ever seeing him cook or step foot in a kitchen.

“yeah my love” he said walking to your kitchen and taking out the container of soup, grabbing a bowl pouring some of the soup in it. “thank you osamu” you said with a loud sneeze at the end. the aroma of the soup filled the apartment as dazai warmed it up, you could already anticipate the taste if it was a good as it smelt. “sit sit sit” dazai said bossily pushing you by your back to sit down at the table, grabbing a cushion from the lounge and placing it behind your back to make you feel more comfortable. the beeping of the microwave was heard from the kitchen and dazai ran off, moments late he appeared next you, steaming bowl of soup in hand as he placed it next you.

“spoon? please?” you asked holding out your hand for him to give you the spoon. he just looked at you shaking his head as if you asked the stupidest question. “how can i let my poor sick darling feed yourself” he said theatrically dipping the spoon in the soup and bending his head slightly to blow on the soup to cool it down slightly.

“here comes the choo choo train” he said bringing the spoon to your mouth. “choo choo” he said giggling slightly. “i’m-“ you tried to say but as soon as you opened your mouth dazai shoved the spoon in your mouth, the taste of the soup was delicious the flavour and reminded you of the soup you used to have all the time in your childhood when you were sick or when it was a cold winter night and there was delicious warm soup to make everything better.

you took the spoon out of your mouth placing it inside the bowl glaring at dazai for a moment. “i’m not a-“ but before you could say anything again dazai shoved another spoonful of soup in your mouth. “shh darling just keep eating the soup” he said patting your head with a smile.

he got another spoon of soup “heeeerreee comes the airplaneeee” he said in a singsong voice moving the spoon around before prodding it against your closed mouth. “cmon love open up” he said tapping the spoon against your lips. “i-“ and once again before you can say anything dazai shoved the spoon in your kith again a victorious smile adoring his face.

you hold the spoon and glare at him. “IM NOT A CHILD” you exasperated. “but you’re my sick baby and i have to feed my poor poor baby when you’re sick” he pouts. you sniffled nose twitching ready to sneeze, dazai swiftly already had a tissue in front of your face dangling it in the air waiting for you to grab the tissue. you grabbed it sneezing into the tissue loudly. "you know me too well osamu" you said blowing your nose. before dazai could spoon feed you again you grabbed the bowl drinking the rest of the soup by slurping it up, a satisfied sigh while you placed the bowl back on the table. The soup was one of the best you had ever tried, and the way that Dazai was looking at you for some sort of recognition in how the soup was made your heart swell.

"you should cook for me more often, this is delicious!" you said happliy to him with a smile. "really?" he asked quietly eyes focused on you. "you liked the soup? really?" he said sounding so unsure of your opinion on the food and wether is was the truth or not. as if he thought that you were just trying to not hurt his feelings because he seems like the type to be chaotic in the kitchen and would not even be able to make a piece of toast without burning down the kitchen or making a mess. "yeah!" you said enthusiastically. "can i have more pleaseee?" you asked hopefully holding out your bowl to him. "yeah let me get you more lovely" he said standing up with the bowl and going to the kitchen.

“time for you to rest now love” dazai said once you finished the delicious soup, making you stand up and bringing you to your bedroom to rest. “can’t have you getting worse” he said quietly while he tucked you into bed. "the soup'll make everything better" you say smiling at him. he always looked at you so endearingly like you were something that was rare to find, and in his mind that was exactly how it was. he had won over the best person he could ever be with and for that he was grateful and would look after you.

“ill look after you just like you look after me” he said quietly closing the bedroom light.

©bellodazai 2024 - dividers by @/benkeibear

i'm a bit sick right now so i thought id make a fic where dazai looks after you when you're sick hehe. I also hope none of you are sick right now and if you are here is dazai to look after you. ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡ NOT proofread sorry for any mistakes or if anything doesn't make sense. this was also a LOT longer than i intended it to be so i hope you don't mind :) this took me 3 days to write hahah and im still sick </333

likes and reblogs are appreciated

w.c 1.5k

TAGLIST @saelique @chaiifluuf @briars-castle @ivoryviness @criminalllove @little-miss-chaoss

want to be apart of the taglist? like this post

[kelseytheballerina]

woa kelsey what happened

2pretty -> kelseytheballerina, as I’m sure you’ve noticed by now. I’ve been over the 2pretty name for a while now and just ready for something that feels more ‘me’.

my YouTube channel name will match this one now too, so angelkels -> kelseytheballerina

I want to get a refresh on this blog so I’m going to private everything while I go through it all and make them public again as I decide what I want to keep. This account has been feeling pretty stale to me for a minute. Like we can do better than this!

I’ve decided to close down my patreon as well. As much as I sincerely appreciate everyone who has supported me there (like wow that’s so kind of you all???), I just don’t use it often enough and I dont feel comfortable charging you lovely people for something I barely log in to. I really do prefer having all of my content here as a one stop shop where everyone can view and enjoy it as normal, no payment required :) Again, I am so grateful to all of you who flocked to the patreon and supported me but I think it’s just not what I’m into right now. Your generosity has meant a lot to me and I hope no one is upset by my decision. I'm still doing pen pals though ♡

I had 27 (yes, TWENTY-SEVEN) videos made and ready to go but I accidentally lost them ALL. Hours and hours worth of content…gone. Just like that. When I tell you that I was in a depressed rage for the past 2 weeks…it doesn’t even begin to cover it. Like who wants to redo all that work? My maternity leave for ballet is ending so I was taking the time to batch film and now it’s just like…that was a waste of time. I couldn’t even open my computer for a while bc I was so upset. You don't understand, I've never felt this defeated before omg. I finally mustered up the morale to re-record but I kept leaving out shots, forgetting things I wanted to say, it just wasn’t as good as the original and that was sooo upsetting. Anyway I can’t stay upset about it forever so I have to force myself to get over it and just start remaking them as best as I can. Just know that even though I’m moving forward, inside I am the physical manifestation of gritted teeth, white knuckles and veins popping out 🙃. Did I buy a new external hard drive? Yes ma’am I did, with a swiftness!!

[tightjeansjavi]

chamomile

A/N: I was making myself a cup of tea earlier this evening and the idea blossomed from there 🥺

for @morallyinept Valentine’s Day masterlist 💗

~word count: 1.3k~

Summary: it’s Valentine’s Day and Dieter Bravo is alone and missing you

Pairing | Dieter Bravo x f!reader

Warnings: mature, fluff, angst, language,implicit smut, one mention of dieter giving himself a handjob, mentions of alcohol and ouid, fwb’s, pining, assumed one-sided feelings, two idiots in love without realizing it, typical dieter behavior, reader has no physical descriptions, readers nickname is petal, +18 minors dni!

On the long, lonely nights where Dieter Bravo is away from you, his solace, his person, he always finds himself struggling to sleep. An hour here, and an hour there, but it can never compare to the deep, dreamy, snooze he gets when you’re laying next to him, tangled up in his legs, under his sheets.

He knows deep down he’s got it bad for you. So bad, he can hardly think straight on most days. Dieter, you missed your cue, again.

He groans, pinching the bridge of his nose and shakes his shoulders to relieve any pent up stress he’s feeling and to get back on track.

Did you even read the fucking script, Bravo?

He scoffs, jaw ticking under the harsh studio lights that buzz in his ear like a swarm of angry bees. Course I did. He lies through his teeth.

How could he even think about reading his lines when he spent hours of his night staring down his phone as he deeply contemplated the pros and cons of calling you up.

If I tell her how I feel, it makes everything fucking weird.

Or you get to live out your very own rom-com!

Or she never wants to speak to me again

Or she also confesses her deep, profound love for you.

Or..she doesn’t feel the same way and breaks my fucking heart into a million tiny pieces!

Or your dreams come true, Dieter.

-

You met Dieter Bravo through a friend of a friend at one of the movie star’s infamous parties. Dieter was drunk, a bit of a stumbling mess, but when his warm, and slightly clammy palm wrapped around your own, you knew you were donefore. And how was it possible for a scruffy man such as himself to have the kindest, softest, warmest brown eyes you ever had the pleasure of gazing into?

No, you were not in love with Dieter Bravo. He was just your friend..with the occasional benefits. Nothing more, nothing less.

When Dieter finds himself alone in his too big of a house for another night, he packs a bowl, and then another, and another. He takes a relaxing bath, alone with nothing but the comfort of his own fist wrapped around his cock. His lashes flutter shut, plush lips parting as he sinks further into the chamomile scented bubbles.

You told him once that chamomile should help him sleep better. He sent his assistant out the next day to buy chamomile tea, and literally any and all the chamomile scented products that she could find.

You took a bath together once, and he vividly remembers dragging his nose across the base of your neck, inhaling the sweet aroma while you nearly dozed off in his saccharine grip. Muscles relaxed, limbs pliant under the soapy water.

But you weren’t here. You were thousands of miles away on a girls trip with some of your single friends. It was the trip that finally made it out of the group chat, and it happened to fall on the week of Valentine’s Day.

Wait, that’s today, right? Shit. How pathetic. He thinks to himself, stroking his cock faster, creating ripples in the sudsy water.

Yeah, so fucking pathetic. Alone on fucking Valentine’s Day, and higher than a goddamn kite.

He doesn’t come, and while that in itself should be frustrating, he accepts his fate of misery while the temperature of the water becomes too cold to bear and he’s forced to retreat.

He packs another bowl, yanks his leftover Taco Bell from the fridge and eats it cold, like the feeling of his heart.

His king sized bed feels even larger than usual, and he chuffs a laugh, taking another bite of his half eaten crunch wrap supreme.

That’s because I’m fucking alone on Valentine’s Day.

He knows he’s not really alone. But on a day that is all about love, he sure as hell doesn’t feel the love.

He misses the way you would roll over mid sleep and drape your arm across his bare stomach. Your fingers would play with the dark, soft hair that led down to his happy trail while you drooled into the crook of his neck, soft snores escaping past your parted lips. He found it endearing. You were like a koala, and he was the tree branch of your choosing.

He so badly wanted to be your tree branch right now.

Was that lame? Probably. But Dieter could give less of a shit about any of that. He missed you, and the feeling ate away at him, carving a hole in his chest and yanking his heart right out.

He didn’t mind that you would accidentally kick him off the side of the bed, or steal all the covers. He loved it when you would talk in your sleep, babbling about pure nonsense that somehow to his ears made perfect sense.

Okay, so he missed you…a lot. He wasn’t the only person to miss someone this much. Hell, maybe even his neighbor was going through the same feelings and emotions as he was.

Love. Yeah, that’s what he was feeling. He was in love with you, and you had no fucking idea how he truly felt.

He tossed and turned, fluffed down his pillows, scrolled on his phone, watching his favorite saved tik toks, and he even tried listening to the soothing sounds of a thunderstorm through a podcast on Spotify. None of it was working. He couldn’t sleep, and you were to blame.

That’s how Dieter Bravo found himself in his kitchen, fully exposed sans some fluffy slippers on his feet that had seen better days. He dug through his pantry till he found the familiar box of chamomile tea. He let out a sigh of relief and tore open the silver foil with his teeth.

His phone screen read 2:30a.m as the kettle on the stove whistled loudly in his eardrums.

The familiar scent of chamomile coated his senses in a warmth that could only be described as you as he let the tea bag steep in his favorite chipped mug.

His knuckles drummed along the countertop nervously as he stared down his phone once more. He let out a huff, bringing one hand to scratch at the patches in his scraggly beard.

As steam billowed from the mug next to him, he finally picked up his phone and dialed your number.

He chewed on the tip of his thumbnail, eyes dancing nervously as the dial tone rang, and rang. He was ready to hang up and toss his phone in the garbage disposal when you finally answered.

His heart skipped a beat and his weed-hazed mind couldn’t keep up with the rate that words were flowing past his lips.

“Petal? Hey, happy Valentine’s Day. Well—er, happy belated Valentine’s Day? ‘Suppose it’s already over. Uh—hope I’m not bothering you, I just couldn’t sleep, so I’m in my kitchen having a cup of chamomile tea, like you suggested. Fuck, I’m rambling, aren’t I? I smoked a few too many bowls so my brain is a bit scrambled. Anyway, I miss you, baby. I’m so lonely, and I wish you were here.”

His stoned rambling continued on as you listened silently, holding your phone close to your ear and swatting at your friend's arm when they asked who was on the phone. The club music was booming at the same rate that your heart was pounding in your chest.

“Hi, Dee. I miss you too. I've been thinking...when I get back, can we grab dinner sometime?" You warmly suggest.

His pupils are blown wide like two shiny marbles illuminated under the soft glow of the moonlight trickling in through his tall kitchen windows.

“Fuck yes. I’d fucking love to grab dinner with you sometime, Petal.” He rasps softly through the receiver.

banners made by the lovely @saradika 💗

I no longer have a taglist so please follow @tightjeansjaviupdates for fic notifications and updates!

[mikimakiboo]

Tiny menace

I really have to do everything myself around here /jk

Liiiiittle summary: Bitty Nightmare got adopted by three very creepy skeletons ! Turns out they are nice, but they still give panic attacks every hour

HEAVILY inspired by A Blackened Soul Finally Lightened on AO3

Maybe I will write a sequel... maybe I won't... you tell me

Part 2

And if you like angst with a happy ending, you can check out You Will Be Fine, Now, which is unrelated to these parts but is focused on bitty Nightmare too !

Tw: mention of euthanasia

Bitties have always been very popular. There were so many of them, anyone could find one they would like, and just as any popular thing they were produced in numbers. If bitties originated from a single AU and reproduced naturally at first then it wasn't the case anymore: bitties were now selectively breeded by " specialized farms" in such a way that there would be numerous versions of the same bitty depending on their popularity, which was mostly among children.

Two particularly popular bitties were part of a twin set, they were called Dream and Nightmare, two white skeletons made to be opposites, one being positive and the other one negative. You couldn't separate them, if you wanted to buy one you had to buy the other too. But the more you produced the more you were at risk of making mistakes. In some rare occasions, the Nightmare bitty would come out... wrong. Instead of white bones and two bright purple eyelights, they would come out covered in a black substance with only one cyan eyelight. They couldn't be sell, they were deficient, and bitties could live just as long as any monster or human, so keeping these deficient versions would be a waste of space, time and, above all, money. They called these deficient bitties "Corrupted", and each time a Corrupted Nightmare happened, they would be euthanized.

Only one escaped this fate. An association specialized in rescuing bitties from breeding farms got their hands on the case and managed to definitely close one of the farms, taking every bitty in there to put them in a shelter, with way better living conditions, where they could be adopted. One of the bitties was a Corrupted Nightmare, the only one still alive, a rare one that everyone thought would be the first to be adopted. But no one wanted him. He wasn't as cute as the others, he wasn't appealing, and his personality didn't help: most bitties were sociable and energetic, a few were calmer but they were still loving in their own way, this Corrupted Nightmare wasn't, he was aggressive, he didn't like physical contact, he preferred to stay alone and never went out of his enclosure to see the customers, staying hidden in the dark corners. He wasn't suitable for keeping company and definitely wasn't suitable to play with a child.

How much time did the Corrupted Nightmare spend in the shelter ? He did not remember. More than a year, maybe even more than two, he didn't count, so he didn't really know. He spent his days the same way each time, staying in his enclosure, only going out when the staff forced him to, they said it would help with first impression and getting adopted, but all it had done was confront him to disgusted looks from the customers. "Tomorrow is another day" the staff always said, but to the bitty every day was the same. His enclosure was a little comfier than the others', because unlike the others who didn't have much time to adapt before being adopted, Corrupted had plenty of time, so he gained some advantages such as his own heating lamp instead of the community one for the lamia bitties, as his mucus, his corruption, often tend to be cold. He had many cushions all around his enclosure to lay down, his back often hurting due to the four little tentacles he had. All the bitties had little houses for their intimacy, decorated with some accessories that would be sold with them, such as clothes for example, but also some items. Corrupted had many books, a rocking chair, a bean bag and a little lamp shaped like an apple tree for his reading corner, he also had a room with a round bed with purple sheets and a little bathroom. He liked his little house, he was much better inside of it than sitting in front of the glass wall of his enclosure, watching everyone pass by and never stopping to great him. Some of them looked at him, but quickly turned away to go see some cuter bitties. He eventually got used to it, no longer trying to catch someone's attention by tapping on the glass, he just sat and waited until he could return to his house after spending enough time outside.

He had watched so many bitties leave, all of those who were brought here with him had already been adopted a long time ago, and every bitty who had been brought here after that left too. He had seen the shelter renew so many times, and yet he stayed. Always. Because he was unwanted. Maybe he should have been euthanized like all the others... he knew what happened to them, he knew it because the other bitties told him, the ones who were in the farms with him, they told him that every Corrupted Nightmare would get euthanized, and that it was such a miracle that he was still alive !

He didn't like that miracle. He despised it. He was so scared of dying but he was so done with living. He knew he was going to be euthanized, he remembered that cold metallic box, he remembered all the needles and bottles, the heat of the stove, the look of disappointment on the farmers' face, he remembered all of that... and somehow he got out alive, so relieved, but for what ? Spend his life in another box ? Sure his enclosure was way better, but it was still a box and he was still unwanted.

He got up from where he was lying down, a fluffy pillow near his heating lamp, only to jump with a scream of fright at the sight of two big empty sockets against his glass. He fell backward on another pillow.

- Oop, sorry, didn't mean to scare ya !

He heard the stranger chuckle. He slowly looked up, analyzing the person standing in front of his enclosure: a skeleton monster with empty eyesockets and black tears running on his cheeks. What was this monster doing here ? Shouldn't he be looking at the others ? Since when was he watching him take a nap ? The Corrupted bitty slowly rose his tentacles menacingly, not understanding what he wanted from him, and not reassured by the way he looked at him.

- Ooh threatening me I see, you're a fierce one ain't ya ? Such a tiny menace.

He said, visibly amused as a sharp smile appeared on his face. The bitty didn't like that, what did this skeleton want ? Why did he seem so pleased to see him defending himself ? Did he want him to fight someone ? Was he going to make him fight other bitties ? He had heard the staff talking about dismantling many clandestine bitty fights, many of the bitties ending up in the shelter, was it why this skeleton was there ? The little bitty started to shake, hiding a little bit more behind his pillows.

- Aw you're so cute, the guys are gonna love you !

He cooed, getting up to go directly to the counter, leaving the little bitty even more scared. Was that monster going to buy him ? Why ? He didn't want to fight ! He didn't want to spend the rest of his life fighting other bitties to survive ! He rushed to his house, trying to hide, he didn't want to go ! Not with him ! Why couldn't get a child or a grandma like everyone else ?! Why did he have to get the crazy looking guy ?! He saw the lid of his enclosure opening and pressed himself against a corner, feeling his breathing fastening as he was scooped by a member of the staff to be put in a square cartoon box with little holes so he could breath. He tried to wiggle free, hitting the hand with his tentacles, he screamed, but he was dropped in the box and it was closed before he could get up. He felt the boxt moving and being put somewhere, probably the counter, he heard noises all around him but couldn't decipher what it was, his own soul pounding too loudly to hear anything else.

He was about to pass out when he felt the box moving again, waking him up brutally, he couldn't see what was happening but judging by the air he could feel through the holes, he was outside. He heard a noise, and there was no air anymore.

- I'm hoooooome !

The skeleton sang. Home ? Were they at his house already ? How ? They just left the shelter ! And who was he talking to ? Were there other people ? Would he fight right away ? He pressed himself a little more against the corner of the box, curled up in a ball with his tentacles in front of him, shaking. He heard another raspy voice.

- Brought... food.. ?

- Yep, I got the food ! And I even got better than food !

Food ?! Was he going to be eaten ?! Were they going to eat him ?! To feed him to a snake like a mouse ?! He needed to get out ! If he hit hard enough, maybe the cartoon would break !

- Killer I swear if you brought another chicken I'm gonna make it shit on your bed.

A new voice said. How many were they ?!

- It's even better than a chicken !

Killer, apparently, responded as he put the box down on a table to open it, revealing a shaking bitty curled up in a corner, looking up at them with a wide open eye and fat tears running on his cheek like a waterfall.

- Ta-daaa ! ~

Three skeletons were above him, Killer, the one from the shelter, a big one with a hole in his skull and a glowing red eye, and another one with a hood on, making it impossible to see his face apart from two red eyelights, the one on the left having some blue in the middle. The one with the hole spoke.

- ... Looks scared...

- Why did you buy a bitty ?

The one with the hoodie asked, visibly annoyed.

- He was so cute ! I couldn't leave him behind ! Plus the guy selling him said he had been is the shelter for four years, so I basically rescued him !

He argued. The bitty watched them argue until he flinched, the bigger skeleton was looking at him, frowning. He stepped back for a moment and the bitty couldn't see him anymore, until he reappeared and put his hand in the box. The bitty flinched again, pressing his tentacles against him to protect himself, but he didn't feel anything... he hesitantly looked up, the hand was gone, and a little cube of ham was in front of him. He looked up, the skeleton was looking at him again. What did he want ? Did he want him to eat this dice of ham ? Why ? Was it poisoned ? Was it how he was going to die in order to be cooked ? By being poisoned ?

- For you.. eat..

The skeleton said. The bitty hesitantly shook his head, he didn't want to eat that... the skeleton frowned again but seemed to understand that he was to scared to eat anything. Maybe it was because the bitty didn't know them ?

- Name's Horror.. this is Dust.. and Killer..

He introduced everyone before pointing at the bitty.

- You.. ?

The little one didn't answer. Did he have a name ? He was called Corrupted but was it his real name ? Or was it just because he was a deficient, corrupted version of another bitty ?

- Oh his name's Nightmare ! It's written on the b- ... oh I forgot you couldn't read, sorry..

Nightmare ? But... he was the corrupted version of the Nightmare bitties, why give him their name ? Anyway, that didn't matter as he was going to die soon.

- Did you at least take things to take care of him ?

Dust asked. Nightmare looked at him, still shaking. What did he mean by "take care of him" ? Killer smiled brightly.

- Yep ! Everything is in the second box !

He proudly announced as he went to grab the box and put it on the table next to the first one to open it. Nightmare didn't want to see it, he didn't want to see the tool that would kill him, he didn't.. ! He... he felt everything become dark, he couldn't hear them anymore, couldn't see them... it was all black...

He felt something soft under him as he slowly woke up, he was lying down on what seemed to be a big pillow, big to him at least, as it was normal size to the skeletons gathered around him. Killer was kneeling on the ground, his face at the same level as the bitty, looking worried, while the other two were behind, Dust sitting on a couch and Horror standing up behind Killer. Nightmare looked up slowly, he was on an armchair. He felt something brush against his skull, it felt.. good.. soothing.. he looked up to see what it was and jumped off of his pillow when he saw is was Killer's hand. He heard him cuss as he quickly grabbed the bitty before he fell off the armchair and put him back on the pillow.

- Hey lil' guy it's okay, don't be scared.. !

Nightmare's tears resurfaced as he backed up against the chair back, his tentacles pointing straight to the skeleton.

- You said.. you said you were gonna eat me.. !

Nightmare choked on his tears, his voice quiet, used to not talking that much. He saw the look of confusion on the three skeletons' face as they looked at each other before returning to the scared bitty on their armchair.

- We're not gonna eat you, what made you think that ?

Killer asked, tilting his head.

- You.. you said you bought food...

Nightmare hesitantly answered. Killer frowned for a second before realizing what he was talking about.

- Oh ! No no no, I wasn't talking about you ! He chuckled, I went to the store before passing by the shelter, we were out of vegetables, we're not gonna eat you !

Oh. Nightmare felt his cheeks getting warm, he felt so dumb right now. But that still didn't resolve his first worry: was he going to fight other bitties ?

- Why did you bring me here... ?

He asked, his tentacles still sharp and pointing straight before him.

- 'Cause you were so cute on your little pillow ! At first I was just planning to have a look and then go home, but man, love at first sight ya know.

Nightmare didn't know if it was a good sign or not, after all he had seen some very cute bitties in the shelter who came from clandestine fights. He didn't feel any vile intention coming from any of them though, only excitement, curiosity and caution, so maybe he was safe after all, maybe this skeleton really adopted him to take care of him...

He lowered his tentacles slowly, still shaking a little. His stomach gurgled, catching the attention of the three skeletons. Horror got closer and bent down to hand him the same cube of ham that he must have kept in case Nightmare was hungry.

- Eat.. ?

He asked. Nightmare looked at him for a moment before looking at the ham, he wasn't supposed to eat normal food, it contained too much magic and protein for a bitty, so they had special food mimicking the normal one but with appropriate dosage for them. A treat from time to time wouldn't hurt, though. He slowly reach out to the cube and took it, smelling it before finally taking a bite. The big skeleton gave him an approbating look, glad to see him eat.

He flinched when he felt something touch his skull, one of his tentacles reacting before him by hitting the thing away, thing that was in reality Killer's hand as he made a pouting sound.

- Maybe don't touch him right after he thought he was going to die ?

Dust said from the couch, having been silent until then. Killer sighed and got up.

- Okay, okay, I'm gon' make him a nice lil' spot for the night, I'll go buy wood and everything tomorrow to make a better nest.

He said as he left the living room, leaving the bitty with Dust, Horror and his snack.

- Gonna make dinner..

Horror announced before returning to the kitchen, leaving Nightmare with Dust who was still looking at him from his place. He bent over, his elbows resting on his knees, looking at the bitty.

- I can see why Killer choose you.

Nightmare flinched, looking up at him.

- You were unwanted, right ?

What kind of a question was that ? What was he trying to do ? Nightmare frowned.

- Four years in the shelter, bitties are usually sold faster than that.

He chuckled as Nightmare looked down on his half-eaten ham. Four years. He had spent four years in the shelter. He thought it had been two years, which was already long, but four ? Was he really this bad ? He knew he wasn't as affectionate as the others, he liked his privacy, but was it such a big problem ? He didn't caught it when Killer said it the first time, too busy being terrified, but now that he thought about it, four years was a really long time...

- It's kinda like... a necessary condition to be part of our group you know. I think he saw himself, saw us, in you.

Dust continued. Nightmare looked back at him, confused. What did he mean by that ?

- It's not my place to tell you their story, you'll have to wait for them to tell you, but we all kinda had to deal with rejection one way or another. I think Killer took pity in you like he took pity in us.

He explained. Was it why Killer said he rescued him ? Did he really adopt him to "save" him from the shelter ? A part of Nightmare's soul warmed up at the thought, for the first time in his life someone genuinely wanted him, someone deliberately PAID to have him, to bring him back to their house, and he had been so scared... he felt a little bad for that, judging Killer by his look when he was complaining about how himself was being looked over specifically because of his look.. what a hypocrite he had been.

- Hey lil' guy do you want to sleep by the fireplace ?

Nightmare jumped, clenching on his piece of ham, he didn't expect Killer to appear behind the armchair. He looked at him, looked at the fireplace on his right, and looked at Killer again.

- I can put, like, a blanket with your bed for tonight, so you have a place to sleep while I make a proper nest. I can put it somewhere else tho.. I can put you in my or one of the guys' room if you want ? Oh right I didn't show you my room.. or the whole house... want me to show you around ? I can carry you in my hand or you can rest on my shoulder if you prefer ?

There... there had been too many questions for Nightmare. He looked at Dust, unsure of what to answer, but the skeleton was on his phone. He slowly looked back at Killer who was still waiting. It would be good if he showed him the house, he didn't want to get lost.

- I... you can.. show me the house... ?

Killer smiled at that answer, carefully reaching out to scoop Nightmare in his hand. The bitty tensed at that, not used to being handled, and munched on his ham as a reflex, his tentacles curling around Killer's fingers to ensure stability. In case of stress, eating was apparently the right thing to do, which made Killer snort: Horror did the same thing.

- Want to go in the hood ?

Nightmare nodded, trembling on the hand, he didn't feel safe this far from the ground but at least the hood would be more stable than a hand. Killer carefully placed him next to it, letting le bitty crawl inside at his own speed. Nightmare shifted once inside but ended up finding a comfortable position, letting only his head pick through the fluff. It was so warm here, and so soft too... he felt a gentle pat on his head that made him tense a bit, but he quickly relaxed, seeing that the contact wasn't painful and was even enjoyable...

He fell backward in the hood when Killer moved and had to grab some of the fluff to sit up again, the last piece of his ham in his mouth.

- So you already know the kitchen and the living room, which is also the dinning room, so all that is left is the bathroom and our bedrooms !

He announced as he walked up some stairs before pausing in a hallway with two doors on each side. He opened the first door on the left.

- This is the bathroom !

Nightmare stood up in the hood to look over the furr. It was a small room, with a bathtub, a shower, some cabinets and a sink.

- But it's too big for you so I'll make you a lil' bathtub, don't worry.

They left the room, Nightmare sliding back inside the hood. It was so warm inside of it... warm and cozy...

- That is Horror's room !

Killer exclaimed. Nightmare slowly looked up, seeing a rather messy bedroom with what looked like to be a record player with the records in a box next to it. Did Horror like listening to music ? Nightmare didn't see any books, but given the fact that Killer said he couldn't read it wasn't really surprising. The bitty yawned as they closed the door to go to the next room.

- That is Dust's ! I'm not allowed to go inside.

He said as he opened the door to enter.

- Good thing I don't care.

There was a strong smell of chemicals inside and Nightmare could see many bottles and notebooks opened. No doubt Dust liked to make some experiments... they didn't spend too much time here and closed the door again. Nightmare struggled to keep his eye open.

- And last but not least... this is mine !

This room was messier than Horror's. Like, really messier, with clothes on the ground, bedsheets in a ball on the bed, knives stucked in the wall, ... if one day Nightmare slept in a room, he would chose Horror's. He didn't like the smell in Dust's one. But, for now, he was more likely to take a nap in Killer's hood. He didn't want to, he didn't feel safe enough to do so, but he had such a stressfull day, he just couldn't fight it any longer, he really needed to sleep... he looked up one last time to see that Killer was talking about his collection of knives, but he couldn't understand the words as he was already drifting away, but it was okay, he just needed five minutes... just fives minutes...

- So yeah that's it ! Soooo, where do you want to sleep ?

Killer asked, but received no answer.

- Lil' guy ?

Still nothing.

- Nightmare ? ... oh shit I dropped you ??

He turned his head to look over his shoulder, shoving a hand inside his hood, he let out a relieved sight when his fingers came in contact with the bitty's little tentacles as he made a tiny grumpy noise. He carefully scooped him to hold him in his hand, seeing that he was asleep, he gently pat his head with a loving smile. He put him back in his hood before leaving his room, seeing how he started to shake from the cold air.

- Sleep well Nightmare, and welcome to the family...

Killer already loved their little bitty so much, he hoped he would rapidly get accustomed to them and trust them, he really wanted him to be happy here... he was their little guy now.

- the end ... for now ? -

[songmingisthighs]

Oddeleny

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

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ch. xx - plan z

ghost!yeosang × reader

wc: 1.4 k

genre : ghost!au

rating, warning : mature; crude jokes and filthy language, mentions of attempted murder, depiction of trauma (described) fear, hitting

buy me coffee ?

a connection once had, broken with the expectation that the ending is final. but life has an odd proclivity of making attachments from detachments. in the end, we don't know what we lost until we look at what we have

You could hear your heart pounding in your ears and the vibration was so prominent that you were sure that it was beating right against your skin.

You were never a fan of hospitals what with the two most traumatic experiences of your life happened at the hospital. The first one was when your grandfather was officially pronounced dead and your parents blamed you for your 'negligence'. You were a child, you thought your grandpa was napping, it was just a freak situation that had your parents been there too, they wouldn't have been able to foresee or avoid. The second one was when your parents dragged you by the collar of your uniform (literally) to apologize to Yeosang for almost killing him and seeing Yeosang avoiding your gaze, not even acknowledging you nor the fact that your father had you bowing to the floor so harshly that there was a bruise on your forehead. Not even your sobs and your apology which ultimately became the ammo they wield in their weapon to get you thrown out of school because it was a "confession". Coercion was never questioned and the fact that no one was backing you up because you were an outcast didn't help.

So now, back in the hospital with an unconscious Yeosang in front of you started stirring some anxiety back. You hesitated to make a move because Yeosang's unchanging look made you think that something bad was going to happen. As ridiculous as it was, you did think that your parents would suddenly barge in and throw you to the floor and force you to beg for forgiveness again.

"What are you doing?"

The voice from your phone almost gave you a heart attack but thankfully you recovered immediately. "What the hell is wrong with you?" you hissed as you brought your phone to your face and glared at Yeosang who was on the screen, "What did I tell you about suddenly showing your face like this? I almost shat myself you asshole." Yeosang cringed and shook his head, "Yeah, that's not something I need to know. Why are you just standing there?" you look between your screen and the body lying on the bed a couple of times before answering, "This is a lot freaky for me, okay? To be honest, until 2 minutes ago, I still believed that you were not in a coma and were just pranking me to extort something out of me." Thankfully, Yeosang was understanding to your predicament, only nodding and letting you take steps forward at your own pace until you stood next to his physical body.

"Okay, so how are we doing this?" you asked, "Do I just... Plug you in?" you looked around to see if there was any way you could... Transfer? Him? "Do you think this is like a data transfer?" he asked, unsure as well. "I don't know what this is like, it's not like your soul came with an instruction," you deadpanned and he rolled his eyes, "I'm equally stumped so let's not be snarky," you couldn't help but mock him because while he had a point, it was annoying.

Without thinking, you tried a bunch of stuff from putting the phone in his hand to pressing the phone on his forehead, both the front and back. This made Yeosang sigh loudly, "Do you think I'm Bluetooth transferable or NFT readable or something?" he sounded exasperated you couldn't blame him because his body was just there and he was so close to returning but you were trying your best. "Hey, at least I'm trying here. I'm risking A LOT to be here and it's not like you're giving out ideas on what to do!" you exclaimed angrily. Yeosang opened his mouth to answer but you held a hand up, "No, you listen to me first. I'm doing this out of the kindness of my own heart and you're just pressuring me to try and try and try and I am trying and I'm so pissed at you for only bitching and not doing anything to help either of us in this situation!" "I would help if I could but my movements and reach are VERY restricted! I'm scared, okay? I can see the way I'm just right there and it looks like I'm just sleeping but I'm not! My soul is stuck in a tin can like sardines!" he fought back.

Although you wanted to respond, something he said struck you and an idea popped up.

You slapped Yeosang's physical body and the Yeosang that was in your monitor reeled from the impact.

"Hey!" he exclaimed and he was about to angrily tell you off when he realized that he felt something. "Oh my God, what did you do?" he asked, now amazed. So you tried again, this time slapping him from the other side and he responded accordingly, reeling to the other side.

"Can you feel that?" you asked, amazed at the reaction. When Yeosang nodded, you hit him again and this time his physical body stirred at the same time your screen started glitching. "Yes!" you exclaimed loudly.

Your phone became even more glitchy despite you not hitting Yeosang's physical body but for a moment, you truly believed that he was about to wake up. "One more! (y/n), one more!" Yeosang's voice boomed from your phone and despite the cracking and delay, you could hear what he said.

So you did as told.

Hoping that this was it, you slapped Yeosang's physical body again and this time, you saw his eyes fluttered open slowly.

For the first time in almost one and a half decades, you were looking into the eyes of someone who you used to care for a lot. You had once thought that seeing Yeosang again would be painful, that you would hate it and that you would probably want to run away from it. But no, all you felt was glad and you couldn't help but crack a smile the same time Yeosang almost too.

But, your feeling was right.

All of a sudden, the door barged open and you were suddenly yanked back while someone, in a flash, headed over to Yeosang's side to reach over to the buttons above his head and pressed something that made an alarm ring. You looked up to see a face that cursed you at your last meeting and in fear, you turned to look at Yeosang. Your heart sank when you saw that his eyes were back to being closed as if he hadn't just opened his eyes merely seconds ago.

The chaos that erupted caused your ears to ring because all you could think about was how you came so close to getting Yeosang back only for it to fail so miserably.

You didn't even know what happened until you were grabbed by the shoulders and shook violently.

"Was the first attempt not enough for you?"

It was confusing. It took a moment for you to focus but when you did you were met with the face of the other person who cursed you at your last meeting.

Yeosang's mom was hitting you as his dad handed you over to a nurse who immediately escorted you out.

"I- I was-" you tried defending yourself but his mom kept following and hitting you, "I saw you! I saw you hit him! You wanted to kill him because you failed last time, you wretched girl! How can you live with yourself? How can you do this to someone innocent?"She cried, screamed, really which then became an announcement to the whole VIP coma ward, allowing people who were in the hallway to stare and whisper while the people in the other rooms who got curious stepped out to see the commotion.

Noises mingling together between Yeosang's mom's screams of hurtful accusation at you, his dad who was trying to get her to go see if their son was okay, Yunho and Jongho who did their to shield you from the impact while telling Yeosang's mom to back off, and Hongjoong who clawed the nurse off of you so he could cover you instead.

Your head was buzzing and there were pins and needles prickling your fingertips. So you closed your eyes and let your friends take you away, you let them lead you to wherever you needed to go because, at that moment, you were not the you that had grown. At that moment, you were the 12-year-old middle school student who got accused of attempted murder.

And it was terrifying.

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[godilovemyhusband]

It's been three years since I've been married to my husband. My husband proposed to me after a year since we had been together, and not once did I have any doubts – I knew he was the man I wanted to spend my life with.

When I write a story and, for example, think about how to write characters who were in love with each other but were separated, I think about how I feel when my husband is not next to me, how I would survive a forced separation from him.

When I think of a couple talking for the first time I try to remember how we tried to be careful with each other, what I thought about when I looked at him, what feelings accompanied me.

When I write intimate scenes I draw on what I myself feel, realising that sex with the person you love is always more than physical relief – it's a desire for closeness, for comfort, for the feeling of another, beloved body as close as possible.

In life and in writing, it's the details that matter most: when I feel my husband I love kissing his arms, embracing him, feeling his bare chest pressed against my breasts, hearing his heavy breath against my ear, his hands clenched on my exposed skin.

When it's over, he always cuddles his face between my breasts and falls asleep like that, because it is the safest place on earth for him.

When he can't fall asleep he calls out to me and then I come to stroke his head. He didn't believe it at first, but it really works on him and calms him down enough that he sleeps like a baby.

When I have my period, he always asks if he should buy me chocolate or my favourite sandwich, he makes sure I have my pills and that I somehow survive this terrible time.

When I can't fall asleep, my husband sings to me or reads a book aloud while stroking my head. Often when I wake up in the night he is lying so his face is snuggled into my back.

If it weren't for him, none of my stories would have been written. Everything I write about, my intuition for driving the story and the characters, stems from what we have both experienced and are still experiencing.

He repeatedly told me that he hoped he would die before me, because he would not be able to live in a world without me, and according to him I would manage it.

Like every anniversary, I will give him my handwritten letter telling him that I love him even more than I did last year.

[asiandra-dash]

Hi i saw u wanna rewrite akikasa hcs PLEASE WRITE ME SOME I BEG /nf /lh

HJKJSKDKHS AKIKASA anyways I was referring to a short story I wrote a while ago but THIS!!! IS (I think) MY FIRST AKIKASA RELATED ASK!!!! I MUST WRITE!!!!!! All I have to do is figure out which thoughts are based on canon and which ones are AUs-

I took 18 days to finally post this because I kept getting ideas and had to force myself to stop because this is way too long 888 words man this ain't fanfiction also if this is illegible I'm sorry none of my headcanon posts will ever be organized no beta or read more we die like my grades after my orchestra field trip

Starting with basic shit Akito is SO so in denial about his feelings and when he's finally fed up with it he chucks it down to infatuation (It is not)

And Tsukasa is an oblivious idiot to everything even though he has a stupid crush on this ginger he just refuses to say anything because he still thinks Akito despises his guts

My guy every little bit of physical contact you make with carrot head makes him look like color hex #ff0000 RGB 255, 0, 0 how do you not notice this

Tsukasa fell first, and they both fell harder >:)

You know Tsukasa'a 1* card where Akito saved the poor man from a spider or something that's when it happened Tsukasa didn't know at first cause like haha who the hell falls in love with someone over something so small I barely even know the guy

If Akito confessed first, after a long moment of awkward silence and Akito wishing the floor would eat him alive, Tsukasa is suddenly hugging him and crying (That's a yes btw)

If Tsukasa confessed first, it would take a bit (probably a few days or weeks) but eventually Akito with the support of everyone finally accepts his feelings for Tsukasa (He didn't tell anyone about the confession btw it was probably Akiyama or one of Tsukasa's friends that told everyone also the threat of Rui was probably another reason he couldn't deny lmao)

Every date, and I mean EVERY SINGLE DATE, Tsukasa will always bring or buy some cheesecakes or pancakes for Akito

And if he doesn't the next time he brings lunch for Akito he'll bring him more cheesecake than he usually does to make up for it

When Tsukasa found out Akito's favorite flowers were sunflowers, he sometimes brings one for him too :D

Tsukasa probably got a pair of sunflower clip-on earrings too (Or whatever they're called)

Tsukasa loves to tackle hug Akito and it never fails to make the ginger laugh <3

Tsukasa borrows Akito's jackets a lot (At least twice a week).

Akito complains about it but let's be honest he loves it when he gets it back and all he smells on it is Tsukasa's scent

Tsukasa loves giving gifts to Akito even if there's no special occasion, usually some type of jewelry like earrings and the next day Akito's most likely wearing it

Obviously, they invite each other to their shows, and sometimes their other bandmates too

During WxS shows Akito's supportive and is internally loud but during VBS concerts Tsukasa is HOLLERING Akito's name and singing along if he knows the lyrics it's embarrassing but if you look closely enough you can tell it hypes up Akito a little more and he tries even harder (An has taken note of this and teases him nonstop about it)

Neither of them are a huge fan of PDA but if you stare long enough you'll probably miss a sneaky little kiss when you blink

That or if Tsukasa's in a really good mood he'll practically cling to Akito (Which is like 50% of the time tbh)

That one post I made on my side blog is real and so is the first tag

Yes Ena and Saki are supportive but holy shit Akito wants to fucking strangle Ena whenever she brings it up (This applies to An too)

Tsukasa helps Akito be more open with his feelings and Akito helps Tsukasa deal with negativity better

Around people, Akito still treats Tsukasa how he would (if Tsukasa isn't being clingy) but once they're alone Akito acts like he's touch starved and refuses to leave Tsukasa alone

Akito sometimes helps Tsukasa with practicing for his shows. He's obviously not as good but he's trying and Tsukasa appreciates his efforts

Tell Akito to say wonderhoy and he'll look at you like you're fucking insane but have Tsukasa tell him and he'll say it as unenthusiastically as he can manage

And then Tsukasa will look at him all :((( and Akito does it with more energy and "jesus fucking christ the things I do to make Tsukasa happy" (It's just a wonderhoy idk why you're so pissed /hj)

I do not understand Japanese and I am not caught up on that one event story with furry Akito so correct me if I'm wrong (about the italicized part) but before Akito gets over his fear of dogs Tsukasa always made sure they would steer clear of them and if one suddenly appeared this blond pink theatre kid is going to protect his pathetic fucking boyfriend with his life

Rui: Is that a hickey? | Tsukasa: No! It’s just a mosquito bite. | Akito, walking into the room: Hey, guys. | Rui: Hi, mosquito.

Whenever one of them stays up really late when staying over. the other tries to convince them to go to bed and cuddle/snuggle with them and it works.

Tsukasa practically begs meanwhile, if possible, Akito hugs Tsukasa from behind and basically just collapses onto him half asleep mumbling into his ear (Can you tell I'm tired it's 1 AM and I got 3 hours of sleep yesterday I'm running off of a power nap rn)

Obviously, Tsukasa can't do anything with Akito like that so he basically carries Akito to the room of whoever they're staying at

Akikasa supremacy WHO'S WITH ME AKIKASA!!!!!!! (I'm dying on a hill please)

Divider / Reply Icon made by me! ( 1 | 2 )

[bomberqueen17]

*vibrating slightly in place*

So ok. When I was in kindergarten, my classroom was arranged so that four desks were linked together, so we were in little groups. I used to regularly vibrate my desk and the three it was attached to, with three other children in them, across several feet of floor space, until the linked desks ran into the teacher's desk, which was larger and did not move with the force of my vibrations. I was a good student, but hard to control, and markedly uneven in my ability to like. Do anything. "Well," my mom said once, upon beholding my entire spectrum of a report card, "we'd just hate to be bored."

When I graduated with my bachelor's degree, seventeen years later, my mom said "I never thought you could do it," and when I, shocked, said "what?" she said "well what with your ADHD and all," and I said "my what?" and she said "well, i never wanted to shake your confidence, and I thought once they put a label on you it'd be over, but you super have like, turbo ADHD. Why, what do you think your deal is?" She said it nicely and not in those words at all, but it was the first time I'd ever really realized that I wasn't just mildly eccentric, I did seem to actually have something wrong with me.

I've been trying to get a diagnosis ever since. I've never been able to. I had no health insurance at all for a huge chunk of my twenties, which put a damper on things. One doctor told me "you'd know if you had that" and when I was like "I... do" she was like "no i mean. you'd already be being treated." Which shows a wild and totally unwarranted optimism in our medical system, but she was a resident. The doctor overseeing her care of me suggested I try taking fish oil capsules. To "rebuild my brain tissue".

I did. It didn't help. I still buy them but mostly I use them now to get my cat to take pills.

Eventually in my 30s my doctors started sort of believing me maybe, or at least realizing they couldn't really brush me off (I have gotten... less easily-cowed as I've aged) but they were all like "oh, I can't evaluate that. You'll have to research and find a place that can do a neuropsych eval for you. Insurance doesn't cover those. So good luck. Have some antidepressants in the meantime."

I slid into my 40s, still undiagnosed. I read as many self-help books on the topic as I could find, did all the checklists I found. They all said "girl you super have like turbo ADHD." I tried meditation. I tried divination. I tried bullet journaling, which was hilarious. I tried yoga.

I actually damaged myself doing yoga and am banned from yoga, but at least I'm in physical therapy now. (Word to the wise: if you have really really flexible hip joints, don't fucking do yoga. "Usually I don't have to tell people not to get into that position," said my bemused physical therapist. "Oh," I said, blissfully bepretzeled. "It feels super good." "Mm," she said, "you've torn your labrum. Stop doing that." Now I do really, really boring stretches that don't feel nearly as good, but I also can walk without limping, so. Like. We take the good with the bad I guess.)

Anyway. My PCP in January was like "wait you didn't follow my super vague directions to go see 'the guys downstairs' and see if they can squeeze you into their eleven-month waiting period to get an evaluation that i cannot mention without saying it's several thousand dollars and your insurance surely won't cover it? you must not want this diagnosis very badly!" (At no point has anyone ever given me a phone number for 'the guys downstairs'. I still don't know what she meant by any of those directions. This PCP and I technically speak the same language but I've never understood a single thing she has told me and I don't think she understands a word I say in return, everything I tell her seems to be such a shock to her. You blame antidepressants for your weight gain? I've never heard of that. Ma'am please look up what the incredibly common side effects of antidepressants are.)

I called around but noplace both took my insurance and was accepting new patients. Finally I gave up. Then my Dude went on our insurance company's website and took over the search. He found that there's some kind of concierge service thing, which the insurance company normally charges $450/mo for but our plan includes it, because it's pretty well-hidden on the website and most people aren't ever going to find it anyway. So he said, you know what, I am going to instigate a query on this.

They took two weeks but eventually came back with a list of 13 places, most of them not remotely local. Ten of them were red X's, disqualified for varying reasons-- one because the phone number didn't work, another because it's a seven-hour drive away and doesn't do telehealth. One was in New Jersey. None of them were the local places I had already called.

Two of them were valid, but the insurance wouldn't cover the evaluation for various reasons.

One of them was fully covered, the insurance company said. So I went there.

Their website said "no you're not we can't see you". But Dude was like, call them on the phone. Surely, surely, the concierge service couldn't have lied??? Bet, I said, and called them and left a message, and said to him, if they call me back I will eat a hat.

But they did. They called me back. "Our insurance checker widget is down," they said. "But we do take your insurance! We can see you. We just don't know how much it will cost."

Ominous.

But. They could see me later in the week, via a telehealth appointment.

So I signed up.

The appointment was this morning. I turned up. Their insurance checker thingy still wasn't working so they couldn't be sure how much the appointment would cost me. I at this point don't care, and gave them my HSA credit card, and said do what you will.

I waited 45 minutes and then texted the number they'd texted me from with the confirmation, and a moment later the guy showed up. "Whoops," he said, "that system isn't working quite right either!"

He talked to me for like. Three minutes, and was like "yeah that sounds. Pretty textbook. I'm going to prescribe you stimulants." He then proceeded to take a very basic medical history, and I recognized all the questions because I have researched stimulant medication for ADHD so much. And he was like "We're going to start with Adderall, check at your pharmacy in like an hour." And then he gave me extremely useful and detailed instructions on how to take it, when to take it, what side effects to worry about, what to expect, what to note down in case it might mean a problem, and how to be safe about it. (He asked me three times if I'd ever been suicidal, and it had also been in the online pre-screening. I am aware that can be a rare but very serious side effect of stimulants!)

And then I went to Rite-Aid and I now have 16 pills in my possession, and i am going to wait until tomorrow morning to start taking them, and I am already scheduled for my follow-up in 15 days.

I have absolutely no idea how much any of that is going to cost, but for the record the pills were eleven dollars.

So. I don't know why the last decade of my life has been spent being told that a comprehensive and unattainably expensive neuropsychological evaluation was my only option. Maybe this place is a disreputable pill mill or whatever. But. I am going to get to try to medicate this disorder that has warped my entire life to this point, and I am going to try to see if I can't have some more control over my life, and if it doesn't work then at least I will know, instead of on my deathbed being like "i wonder if i'd ever tried amphetamines maybe I'd have been able to finish a project ever in my life, guess we'll never know".

Which was what I was starting to genuinely think was going to happen.

Literally though why can't a primary care doctor just refer you to a psychiatrist who can then decide whether you need an assessment or whether your condition is likely to respond well to a basic diagnosis?? I get needing the whole nine yards if you're not sure what's wrong with this kid and you don't want to give them the wrong thing-- like I know misdiagnosing a bipolar sufferer with depression can give you really bad outcomes, for example-- but-- I don't know? I don't know.

I just want to be able to start and finish projects. What I'd really love is to be able to make to-do lists meaningfully, as that is an ability I did used to have and now absolutely don't. I legit cannot make a to-do list in any meaningful or useful way.

So we'll see. I'm going to keep a journal and the real test of whether the pills work is to see whether I can actually keep the journal.

But I need to find some kind of edible hat, at some point, just to keep my word.

[lunaprincipessa]

ENTRY 314

Today is my Pagan birthday. Not sure if that's actually a thing, but I'm making it one!

August 29th, 2019 was the day I converted to Paganism and I started practicing witchcraft shortly after... And I have never felt more at home.

I grew up in a Christian/Catholic type of environment where none of the information I was given ever resonated with me. It just didn't feel right, and I felt so out of place at the churches I was forced to attend.

What did resonate with me, through and through, was how I always felt good outside in nature with animals and trees. I even made an altar without knowing what it was or what it meant. My friends all loved looking at it as much as I did. That felt good.

My very first altar. I wish I had a picture of it. It had three tiers and was loaded with pictures and fresh nature. Something I wanted to do and put together naturally without knowledge or guidance. That being said, perhaps I didn't convert. Perhaps I just eventually realized what I was.

Anyway, I was Agnostic for a long time lacking the motivation or will to see what else was out there. I knew there was something but discouragement overpowered me and I gave up on all things beyond the physical for a time.

However, life shifted and I found myself with a new set of challenges that tested me on every level and I needed something else in my life to turn to. I no longer wanted to tell myself "no" when I'd look up at the moon and night sky in desperation.

"Paganism" I thought. But why? What is it? To this day, I have no idea why that word just came to me without any education on it. While I may not know why, I remain grateful.

Since researching, studying, gathering, and eventually finding my place as a Pagan and an eclectic/solitary practitioner of the craft over the past few years, I really have to say it has been an amazing journey and the feeling of belonging is unlike anything else I've ever known, aside from motherhood. I've watched spells like good fortune for friends for example come to fruition and I feel heard for the first time.

I heard not to buy up too many spiritual tools to leave room for what you acquire along the way and I remember the days of not having anything wondering how that might come to pass. How fun it is when what's meant to be yours finds its way to you without missing or harming another. Just fascinating the way the Universe speaks and moves sometimes.

And my Gods and Goddesses! I had none before. Now I have five! And they're all incredible. How connected I felt when I read about them. I knew then why I chose them, or why they chose me. A thought and emotion provoking journey that puts me at peace. I will spend the rest of my days learning and I'm okay with that. There's such a sense of wonder that comes with those initial discoveries and I'm always happy to experience them. I'd be sad if those types of feelings were lost to childhood regardless.

Wrapping up but yes, my little Pagan birthday. Nobody gives a shit but me. That's alright though because I give a shit enough to make up for any and everyone else. This is and has been an awe-inspiring path to take, accompanied by remarkable benefit for the mind, body, and soul. It feels nice to have. More thoughts later.

[sneakyboymerlin]

Heeeeeyyyyy it’s ur boy uh. Skinny penice.

If any of you lovelies wanna help me get my mom’s account out of the negatives, I would be eternally grateful.

Her account is around -$300 after the bills got taken out, we’re just trying not to rack up any late fees at this point ✨ any money will go to getting her account out of the negatives or else paying off the fees as they add up. She’s already been in the negatives for 2 or 3 days because she tried to “fix it herself” without telling me (I only found out because I happened to see her bank app).

Her car’s engine also stopped and we can’t afford a rental so I have to drive her to and from work myself (a 40 minute drive each way, I will be making the 80 minute drive twice today so I can go to my own job). I don’t get paid until Thursday and the only thing I can afford rn is gas.

I just had to pay $500 to get my own car out of the shop after almost 2 months since someone tried to steal it in September (all the parts they needed were on back order) and the dude who tried to take it for a joy ride gets to pay it back in small increments (when a white boy does it for fun, they give him every excuse) which means I’m out $500.

I wanted to attend my community college this upcoming semester but I’m just going to have to skip again if this keeps up, which I really don’t want to do because of pressure from my sister to get a degree or apprenticeship. She won’t help my mom in order to “punish her” but it really just punishes me. My mom has been hiding her finances from me ever since my dad died, resulting in things like my car (the car is under her name & insurance but my dad gave it to me) getting repossessed during the summer (we were able to get it back luckily) and the internet getting shut off. She lied about where the money I paid her was going, paid for her own car + insurance instead and let my car get repossessed. My finances and well-being are entirely dependent on her bank account, and she is consistently dishonest about where our money goes, and then funnels any money I make into her account. She also tries to buy frivolous things we don’t need when she runs out of money + tries to force me to buy those things for her and is only frugal when spending her own paycheck. Everyone I have explained the situation to tells me that I am being financially abused, and I cannot find a way out of it besides moving out, but I can’t afford to do that and I can’t leave my pets behind.

I was also trying to pay off my phone and late bills to T-Mobile so we could switch over to a cheaper company but I can’t make any progress on this because we can’t afford to pay anything off before the next month rolls over and we get charged yet again (when T-Mobile bought Sprint they started charging us out the ass). The electric bill is also going to be unsustainable this winter, our heater doesn’t work half the time so we have space heaters but that’s it for us + our 4 cats + 1 dog.

I’m also supposed to be going to the doctor’s to get a diagnosis (probably EDS), physical and mental therapy, etc. but I have to go through multiple doctors and institutions(?) to do this, which is pretty much impossible when you’re sharing 1 car between 2 people and are the only one with any gas money (which is gonna go FAST). I also do not want my mom to know under any circumstances if I attend mental therapy.

And there’s always more but I don’t have time to continue on

If you follow me or enjoy my posting please consider helping out if you can 💗

C*sh*app is $ThreeTrilobites

DM me for P*yP*l or V-nmo info

[adhd-attention-deficit-dumbass]

PSA - If you are walking your dog without a leash in a shared public space you are kind of being a dick🐕

I had a period of severe anxiety especially when walking outside. Despite this I did my best to force myself to go outside once a day if only for a few minutes to improve my physical and mental well-being.

So there I am doing my little walk around the neighborhood already struggling to keep my anxiety in check, I’m almost home, relieved that the torture of going outside is almost over. I look behind me (as you do when you expect the world to pounce on you at any second) and I see a woman walking with a big dog unleashed. The dog is walking next to her no problem not looking agressive at all.

Now I’m not afraid of dogs in any way shape or form. We had a giant rottweiler growing up so I really have no reason to be afraid, but since I was already overwhelmed with anxiety this really freaked me out and I started walking faster, but so did the dog lady.

I actually don’t know if what happened next really happened the way I remember it, but I keep looking back and they keep getting closer. In that moment I remember a close family friend who got attacked and bit in the head on a walk by an unleashed dog. I think about the stitches she had to get, how she became so afraid of encountering dogs that she couldn’t take her own dog for walks any longer. Thee lady and the dog keep coming closer and I start panicking even though I’m fully convinced that this dog looks nowhere near even considering attacking. Next thing I know, I look back again and I see this big black dog running up behind me and just scream like I’ve never screamed before.

I step off the trail and sort of freeze. Embarrased but also afraid and I end up sitting down and sort of rocking myself trying to control my anxiety.

The dog lady comes over and tells me

”It’s okay, he’s friendly.”

She gives me this look like she doesn’t know what to think of me. I start profusely apologizing explaining that I just got really scared but that I’m actually fine. She doesn’t really buy it (understandably as I was starting to hyperventilate) She sort of half-heartedly asks if there’s anything she can do and I tell her to please put a leash on her dog. However rather than doing that she starts telling me over and over how friendly and safe the dog is and I just kinda shut her out just asking her to please leave. So she does. I sit in the grass for a good 10-15 minutes probably trying to calm myself down, feeling incredibly ashamed and guilty over having such a big emotional reaction which is of course not helping me calm down.

As I’m trying to muster the courage to get up and walk the remaining 2 minutes back home the lady returns without the dog and again asks if she can do something to help (which was actually really nice of her but in the moment it just made things worse as I felt pressured to ”feel better” for the sake of easing her discomfort) I kept telling her

”Thank you but no, I just need some time to calm down”

After going back and forth a bit she eventually leaves and after an additional 5-10 minutes I’m able to get back up, finish my walk and return to the safety of my home where I break down in tears. Ashamed of my reaction but also just so angry.

Listen, dog people, I get it. Your pup is probably super well trained and wouldn’t hurt a fly. I believe you, but just because you know they’re well behaved doesn’t mean other people know. Even if they know fear can be incredibly irrational and difficult to control. It should be obvious that in shared public spaces you should be respectful of others by leashing your dog. There are dedicated spaces for dogs to run about without a leash but on your daily walk where you have a high likelyhood of encountering lots of people is not that space. It’s unsafe not only for others but for your dog. Some people may attempt to attack your dog out of fear in order to defend themselves.

So please, for the safety and well-being of everyone, just leash your dog

[statelysapphic]

Letters to Emily

Emily Prentiss x Reader

Summary: When Ian Doyle takes away the one person you love, you find solace in writing her letter.

Warnings: Typical talk of Emily being dead. Hurt. Let me know if I missed something<3

A/N: Hi friends! It’s been a while. I’ve been working on this for a while, and idk how I feel about it. I very lightly edited this. Feedback is appreciated as always. Ao3 Link. Enjoy!<3

July 26, 2011

Emily,

I accepted the job. I’m not sure what would piss you off more though: the fact that it’s a desk job or the fact that it’s in Phoenix and I’m leaving Quantico. Leaving the team. I know you’d tell me that I’m making a huge mistake but it’s just too painful.

JJ brings me coffee every morning, just like you did, and even though I know she means well, it’s a painful reminder that you will never bring me coffee again. When I look up from my desk in the bullpen to see the empty one across from me, I’m reminded that I won’t be able to watch you work anymore. I loved watching you pour over files, watching the gears turn in your head. Putting the pieces together and catching the bad guy. You were brilliant.

Emily paused as her vision blurred, the burning sensation of tears threatening to spill catches her attention and shifts her focus. She was angry. Angry at Doyle for forcing her into this mess. Angry at JJ for not telling her that you transferred. Angry at Hotch for even approving your transfer request. Angry at Derek, Spencer, and Penelope; Did they even try to convince you to stay? She took a deep breath, and then another. As she felt her heart rate return to normal, she wiped the tears away from her cheeks and continued reading.

Everything here is a painful reminder of you. Everything. I walk past a framed photo of you every single day and it guts me. Every single time. I can’t keep doing it, so I’m running. I know you’d be so disappointed in me. Virginia isn’t home without you, Em. It stopped feeling like home when JJ told me you “never made it off the table.” I don’t think I’ll ever find your feeling of home again.

I’m not sure how to tell the team about the transfer. Maybe I’ll buy them a round after this case and break the news to them then. Booze and karaoke should soften them up, right?

I don’t think they’re going to take it well. I just hope they skip the guilt trip.

I hate to end this on a sad note, so I will say that I think Arizona will be good for me. Lots of sunshine and wide open spaces. New people, new experiences. I actually think I’m excited, even though I feel guilty for it. I suppose that will get better with time. I don’t know if I’ve told you this, the one item on my bucket list is to go rockhounding out west. Maybe I’ll treat myself once I get settled.

I miss you so much, Em. But I love you even more. Always.

Emily refolded the letter and slid it back into its envelope. As she placed it on the coffee table in front of her, she finally allowed herself to cry. She had done everything in her power to protect you from Doyle and her past. Although you were physically safe, it was clear from your letters that the emotional toll was severe. She was only about halfway through the stack that she found in your bedside table, and she still had three months worth left to read. She knew she wouldn’t finish by the time you got home, but that was okay.

The raven haired woman sighed, picking up the next letter in the pile.

August 12, 2011

Emmy,

Fuck I miss you today. I wish you would’ve been here to ground me though that. Or kick some ass for me. The movers were nice enough to break my bed frame while bringing it up the stairs and then denied doing it. I watched him drop it, babe. I wasn’t even mad until he denied it. Don’t worry, I called the manager and received a full refund for the trouble.

I wish you were here to cuddle on this couch with me. I miss the way you’d hold me. I felt untouchable when I was in your arms. I think you’d like this new apartment though. The master bedroom has a killer view AND a balcony. It also has plenty of south facing windows for my houseplants, and room for many more. My collection has grown exponentially since you’ve seen it last. As odd as it sounds, they’ve helped me through this.

Sorry for the short letter today. Who knew moving halfway across the country would be so tiring? Could’ve fooled me. I love you, Emily. Always.

Emily chuckled lightly at your sarcasm, but soon felt the tears return.

Sadness began to fade within Emily, and anxiety soon took its place. She was unsure of how you would react when you came home after a long day at work to find your not-actually-dead partner sitting in your living room, reading your private letters, no less. Sure, they were technically addressed to her, but she knows you never thought anyone would read them. Maybe this wasn’t the best way to do this, but Emily vehemently rejected all help that the team offered. Hotch offered to call your Supervisor to have them sit you down to talk you through it. JJ nearly begged Emily to help in some capacity, already feeling immense guilt over the situation. Though, she almost let Rossi accompany her when he offered, and she was beginning to regret not doing so.

The regret faded almost instantly as Emily heard a key in the front door. Her heart rate increased and her chest became tight. The reality of the situation had settled in for Emily, and the uncertainty was paralyzing. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, a sorry attempt to calm her nerves, as she braced herself to face you. She heard the door shut, followed by footsteps that grew louder and louder until there was silence. Emily didn’t dare look up. Even as she heard the loud clatter of what she assumed were your keys colliding with the hardwood apartment floor.

“E… Emmy?”

~

[neon-kazoo]

A Gambit

[CW: threats, blood, knife violence, captivity]

(Hero POV)

There was a knife at my throat, which was pretty expected honestly.

I mean, I didn’t exactly expect to sneak into public enemy number one’s private base and be greeted with warm milk and cookies. Sure, being held at knifepoint wasn’t ideal, but stakes were high enough that I was running out of options.

This was a risk I was willing to take.

I slowly raised my open hands. Surrender: the logical course of action when one is caught effectively off guard deep in unfamiliar territory.

“Don’t move and I might consider letting you live another second,” was whispered harshly in my ear, and I heeded the command disguised as a suggestion. The slow and controlled rise and fall of my chest was the only movement I allowed my body to make as my captor grabbed a hold of one lifted hand and pulled it behind my back, my arm folding painfully to provide the physical leverage the knife against my neck could not. Undoubtedly uncomfortable, but I tried not to worry about anything more than my main objective: staying alive.

“Grab your weapon slowly. Drop it. Kick it out of reach,” he ordered concisely.

I obediently unclipped the large knife sheathed on my belt, then dropped it to the floor and kicked it away.

Apparently, the distance the knife skittered was not satisfactory because I was subsequently yanked backwards a few more feet until we stopped and my shoulders were once again flush with the collarbones of the chest behind me.

“Give me one reason I shouldn’t slit your throat right now. Tell me what you’re doing here,” I was questioned, and thus the careful game begun.

It was much too early to show all my cards, but I had to say something. While it was a decently good sign that I wasn’t killed the second I was discovered, I certainly wasn’t going to push my luck by not providing an answer.

“I need something. You have it,” I answered simply, forcing the words out as strongly as I could and hoping to buy myself a ticket to a second location with a less immediate threat of death.

The hallway in which we currently stood seemed to be closing in on its self, the shadows threatening to swallow me the second the knife would pierce my skin and end my life. I needed to get out of here.

I needed to survive.

I didn’t lie per se, but I was certainly aiming for a misleading omission with my statements. I felt like a shady salesman pitching a hook, except this salesman’s life depending on this customer’s purchase.

“Yeah? And what might that be?” The voice sounded deceptively interested, but it came from dangerously close to my ear.

And that was my cue to shut up.

“Ok. We can do it this way.”

My knees were kicked out from behind, and I went slamming into the floor. My tongue caught between my teeth on the way down, and metallic blood soon found its way across my taste buds. Hands ran across my clothes and into my pockets, methodically stripping me of my tools and supplies. My boots were removed and their knives tossed across the room. Pressure on my shoulder kept me down, but on a positive note, there was no longer a blade biting against my skin.

I focused on the iron taste and taking steady and clear breaths as the man above me worked. A renewed grip locked both arms behind my back and I was hauled onto my feet again. An aggressive push had me starting to walk, my sock-clad feet padding against and periodically tripping on the concrete toward a door settled into the far wall.

I was harshly marched down two more halls and through a smaller room, becoming more and more disconcerted that my captor wasn’t bothering to hide the layout of the base as we walked.

We eventually reached a room that was clearly equipped to handle prisoners. It was stocked with tools and restraints, which my captor made quick work of using to secure me. The room accomplished the intimidating vibe of a concrete box with bright-in-one-spot-but-dark-in-all-others fluorescent lighting, complete with chains along the wall and a metal chair bolted to the floor in the center.

Once I was settled into the aforementioned chair, I realized it faced away from the only door in the room, leaving a view of only a blood spattered wall.

This was certainly a second location. Mission accomplished, sort of.

I still did not speak, what was there to say, really? Begging for my freedom would be pointless, and I refused to show unnecessary weakness of any kind. I was here for a reason after all, I could only hope prayer and patience would be enough to get me through this ordeal.

My captor paced at my back, his footfalls loud as he allowed his shoes to scuff roughly on the concrete floor. They came to a stop.

“Let’s get to know each other, shall we?” He stepped in front of me and smiled wide, and suddenly I was considering the merits of spontaneously dropping dead right there in that chair.

“You see, I don’t take this kind of thing lightly,” he started, “How did you know to come here? Were you planning to steal what you needed, or is this some kind of delusional attempt at a business deal?” He continued, but my lips remained sealed, not that he could tell.

He seemed to realize this too, because he quickly ripped off every piece of clothing that covered my face, leaving it bare to be read and identified.

“Hero, how cute.”

Now he was interested.

His eyes traced the scar that ran from the corner of my nose up to my cheekbone. That’s what gave me away, he would know, because he’s the one who gave it to me. Not to suggest that us crossing paths was a regular occurrence, quite the opposite in fact. I had pledged to avoid the man after our unfortunate encounter, and it helped that I wasn’t much of a front-line fighter to begin with. I preferred sidelines and shadows, subtle work. And I rarely interfered in the big leagues. I was content to not make any powerful enemies, but unfortunately, circumstances change.

“You’re not getting what you came for,” Maybe I am, “so what’s the harm in giving it up?” He asked sweetly, nothing but innocence in his eyes as he stepped closer.

“Don’t think I’ll be asking nicely again,”he followed, and that- that possessive twinkle in his eyes. That was what I was banking on. This was going to work.

He circled me like a shark, slow and deliberate, but never reaching to fill his hands with a tool or a weapon. His relaxed demeanor put me on edge nonetheless. He had nothing to worry about. Capturing me was all business, now this was all play.

Silence continued to be my preferred strategy.

“Still quiet huh? Don’t worry, I’m really good at the quiet game,” he whispered the last part from behind me eerily, before walking away and shutting the door with a loud metal slam and leaving me alone. Maybe this wasn’t my best idea, but it was a little late for second thoughts.

By the time he returned, I had already begun to preemptively associate the sound of the door and heavy footsteps with the sound of my doom. He appeared in front of me much too soon, empty handed with a justifiable air of confidence.

My heart started to race when Villain strutted over to a roll of plastic propped against the wall to my left. Slowly, he kicked it over to the center of the room where I sat in the chair, and then knelt to the ground to roll it out around me. He produced a knife I didn’t know he had been carrying, different from the one that had been held at my throat, previously concealed somewhere in the black cargo pants that covered over the ankle of his black combat boots. He sliced the plastic laid around me into a square perimeter about six feet on each side.

My mind screamed that I needed to change tactics, admit something or be admitted to an early grave. But revealing that I intended to use the most powerful man in the game was not going to work in my favor. What choice did I really have though, be a toy or admit to toying?

Villain stood now. He gave me little more than a glance before starting to walk past me on my left side, presumably towards the door again or maybe other equipment. Unfortunately that guess did not take into account his lighting-like speed.

He turned, and before I knew it a knife was stabbed straight through my hand. I blinked in disbelief at the metal jutting an inch and a half out the palm of my hand, blood starting to well up around it and drip down to the tip of the blade before falling to hit the plastic.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe this wasn’t better. Maybe this was as certain a death as I was already guaranteed.

Too late to turn back now.

The pain took about a full three seconds to register. I was unprepared for the strike, quick as a viper sinking its teeth into its prey. I choked on my shock, mouth opening but no sound coming out.

Millan seized the opportunity, shoving a ball of fabric into my gaping mouth with forceful fingers.

“You don’t wanna talk? Don’t talk. I prefer it this way anyway,” he spoke, and my mistake became crystal clear.

Salvage. Games. He wants to play games.

His hand returned to the knife he had left skewered through my hand. His fingers wrapped around the hilt and my thoughts ran a thousand miles per minute, searching for something, anything, I could use as an opening move.

I was invited to the table, now I just had to figure out how to play.

The blade slipped easily back out of my flesh. It had missed bone, angled perfectly in the direction of my fingers.

I had to act now, before that blade found a new home in which to bury itself, presumably in a much more damaging location.

I coughed and spit to try and loosen the scrap in my mouth as I attempted to push it out with my tongue. I was making progress, but a hand was heading for my face again to try and re-secure the gag. Running out of time, I forced precious few syllables past the fabric that crudely hindered my speech.

“Ah-so-shee-a-shun.”

The hand reached its destination, but surprisingly opted to remove the obstacle from my mouth and toss it in a soggy heap to the floor.

“What was that?”

“The Association. I know something.”

I made a sour face in an attempt to resalivate my mouth and rid it of the awful cottony feel and taste.

“I have something on The Hero Association.”

“Hero, you do not waste a breath. I knew there was something I liked about you.” That creepy smiled returned, coupled with the glint in the eyes as the knife was wiped off on the knee of his pants. He crouched to a squat in front of me.

“I don’t suppose you’re in a particularly generous and sharing mood?” He cocked his head, studying my face as if seeing it for the first time.

“In your dreams. Sharing is caring, and I could not give less of a fuck about you.” I watched his face as he reacted to my words and knew by the way he lit up that I had picked the right path.

Never doubted it for a second.

“So why bring it up?”

“Figured it might save me a stab wound or two.”

“Or three or four,” he conceded, and I allowed a small smile to stretch my lips.

“Probably five.” He smiled back. “At least.”

The air in the room was lighter, and this exchange was seeming more and more like a tentative opportunity and less and less like certain doom. Blood still dripped from my hand, but I didn’t spare it another glance. I relaxed in my binds, and prepared for my next move.