#and y’all wonder why I love conspiracy theories

[what-gs-watching]

"And I can guarantee you, it will be a night to remember."

Okay. I’m getting my wit’s about me. Sort of.  It’s a process. But it’s also probably why I’m about to go all Charlie from It’s Always Sunny with his crazy conspiracy board (seriously though, this took me three days to write) about Good Omens episode 4. Because y’all, it’s the 1941 episode. And there’s sooo much going on. Pivotal, heart wrenching shit. 

The most important of the ‘present’ stuff happens in the opener, of course. Aziraphale is driving back from his fun little romp in Edinburgh when he sees a hitchhiker on the road, but he’s resolute in not stopping, he’s trying to get home to Crowley. Only after he sees the hitcher a few times and almost hits them does he relent, and guess who climbs in the car - Shax. 

She knows who he is, she starts talking about the Bentley and wondering why it had never been upgraded. She wants information from Az, she insists that Crowley is hiding Gabriel and we all know he’s not a good liar, but he does his best. At one point she says she’s confused as to why Crowley would risk destruction for Aziraphale, she says “you don’t seem his type at all.”

Michael Sheen, sweet sweet Michael Sheen and his mastery of facial expressions, just tips Aziraphale’s eyebrows, just a bit, just perfectly so. You can hear him thinking ‘giiiiiirl you don’t know shiiiiit’ and. I. love it.

She also says “I remember 80, 90 years ago hearing that you and Crowley were an item, didn’t believe it then….” and she’s trying to mess with his mind. He again tells her that Crowley isn’t with Gabriel and he doesn’t know where Gabriel is. She asks him to let her out in the middle of nowhere, says he’s already told her where Gabriel really is, and when he gets all huffy asking how he’d done that, she says “You didn’t, you have now.”

Truth be told, I am not a huge fan of Shax. She’s the one pushing this entire situation, I mean sure Beezlebub says she wants to find Gabriel but Shax is a bootlicker and she’s ratcheting the entire thing up to 11. In an extremely annoying, fumbling way. Always so fumbling.

Whatever, though,  it’s fine. We need to dig into the past. 

Of course we all remember the 1941 scene in the first season. And, if we’re clocking our timeline right, 1941 is the first time (that we know of) that Aziraphale and Crowley see each other after their dustup in the 1860’s. When Crowley asked for holy water. And Aziraphale outright refused, not wanting to provide a suicide pill. When Azirphale said they were ‘fraternizing’ and Crowley was incredulous about it, an argument ending with both of them insisting they didn’t actually need the other one.

So like 80-ish years in between, right? But then Crowley literally hot-steps into a church because Aziraphale is playing spy games that he doesn’t understand.

My theory? After their little tiff, Crowley realized pretty quickly he’d gone too far (too fast) with Aziraphale, my dude doesn’t have anyone else to fraternize with, let’s face it, and he missed Az. I have to assume he’s had low-level Aziraphale detection since they met (alright, maybe it’s not so low-level, I’m sure it’s jacked up as fucking high as it can GO), so he just had to bide his time and wait for sweet little Az to get into one of his rescuing situations, because he so loves being rescued, and it would allow Crowley to apologize in his own way. You know, instead of actually explaining why he needs the holy water in the first place. 

Baby girl had to have had a plan in mind, because the entire story after the church burning? Hard ‘doting boyfriend’ vibes. He was gonna make Aziraphale want to be friends again. The internet seems to think that when Crowley saved Aziraphale’s books from the bomb, that’s when he realized he was in love with a demon, and that could be - and if it was, the rest of the night absolutely solidifies it, with the way Crowley comes for him. All of the heart eyes, all of the squealing.

So, they escape from the church. And then we see the three German idiots in hell, being processed by Furfur, who, it had been established prior, wanted to get out of his shit desk job and into something better. Fucking Shax of course, tells him to be on the lookout for any good information and to bring it to her, she’ll help him out. She’s the worst.

The Germans of course say they don’t belong there, their plans were cocked up by someone named Crowley and his friend and Furfur puts it all together. So he tells them they can go back to earth and be free of hell’s grip if they help him find proof that Crowley and Az are working together. After our favorite two have driven off, we see the Germans reanimating, and eating a drifter’s brain for good measure.

In the Bentley, (everytime I hear Crowley say “lift home?” in the scene before all nonchalant, my brain breaks a little) Aziraphale is still gripping his books and he tells Crowley he did a very nice thing and then says “there must be something I can do for you in return…” and I enjoy the implications y’all have assigned to this little exchange. We all love suggestive, dark horse Aziraphale.

It blows (haha I’m sorry) past Crowley though, and he takes them to a theater in the West End so he can deliver some bootleg booze, which of course turns out to have been shattered in the bomb drop. The theater owner is livid about it, and distraught over losing her magician for the night and immediately Aziraphale offers his services in ‘prestidigitation’. Because of course he thinks he’s a magician. That’s so Aziraphale.

Back at the bookshop Az is aflutter at this opportunity and Crowley thanks him for getting him off the hook, to which Az replies a little hesitantly “that’s what friends are for.” Clearly he’s also feeling bad about their last interaction and he’s trying to make up for that, and the church rescue all at the same time. But I have to assume he’s terrible at magic and I think Crowley does too but again, he’s all in on being a doting boyfriend. Both of them are working so hard to get back to a good balance with each other.

Crowley sits and lets Az practice some close-up tricks on him and he does a terrible American accent pretending to be an audience member. He encourages Aziraphale so delicately while suggesting he needs some bigger, better tricks for the show. He isn’t mocking him, he isn’t condescending, just supportive. When Crowley says they should buy a trick and Aziraphale insists the shop is for professionals only, the way he says “You, my Nefertiti fooling fellow, are about to perform on the West End Stage. If that doesn't make you a professional conjurer, I don't know what does” is loving, with only the slightest tinge of amusement. 

At the magic shop, the two poke around, while being followed by German zombies, and Crowley picks up a trick that the shop owner opens, covering them both in confetti. There’s a meme out there with this gif that just says :excited demon noises: and that’s exactly it. He’s so tickled the entire time. 

Meanwhile, the shop owner tries to suggest amateur tricks to Az but he’s not having it and his eyes fall on something called the ‘bullet catch’ which requires a rifle, and as we find out, a trusted confidant with a steady hand that Aziraphale has to really trust because a handful of people have died attempting it. 

So he pulls Crowley aside after saying “I’ve got the perfect man for the job” and he swears he’ll do all the tricky bits, all Crowley has to do is fire the gun. He’s so excited and sure of himself and he assumes Crowley has plenty of experience with firearms and Crowley agrees to do it, sticks his hand out for a shake but Aziraphale grabs it with both hands and glows and wiggles and shakes vigorously. It’s another fun little adventure for Aziraphale.

They get a little manual that’s supposed to explain the trick and off they go to the show because who needs to know how to actually do it, they’ve got miracles. They’ll be fine. 

The zombies follow of course, and take up in the back of the theater and then summon Furfur. Aziraphale’s magician name is “Fell the Marvelous” and they give him a ridiculous intro and he slinks onto the stage and he’s so nervous, it’s sweet. Az is really all in on the human experience - he took magic lessons and he wants to be so good at it that he just dives in without really thinking it through. 

He asks for a volunteer from the audience, indicating he needs a marksman, and all the hands go up except for Crowley, which is very on brand. He’s sweet boyfriend right now, but he’s nervous and yet, up to the stage he goes. Of course, in the background, Furfur has activated a miracle blocker so when Aziraphale tries to warm up the crowd by turning a turnip into an inkwell, it doesn’t work. He tries a few times, Crowley tries from the wings, and he realizes what’s happening. Kid pulls out the manual from his coat and frantically flips through it. They’re in actual danger. Ya know, like they do.

When he joins Aziraphale on the stage they both confirm their miracles aren’t working, but Az knows they need to plough ahead with the trick. He tells Crowley to load the gun and he looks a little unsure and confirms he hasn’t actually fired a gun, “not as such”. 

Meanwhile, as they pass the gun between themselves, Furfur takes a polaroid. 

The anxiety between them is palpable. Az instructs him that he’ll need to fire on Aziraphale’s signal. They stare each other down. Crowley aims at him clumsily, he’s supposed to aim for his mouth but shoot past his ear. Neither one of them bothered to learn the trick at all, whatsoever. And they’re in it. 

Aziraphale seems to mouth something. There’s a post out there from Neil Gaiman confirming the sweet summer child said “trust me”. 

So, he gives the signal. And in my mind Crowley maybe shuts his eyes a little bit and just goes for it. And it works, no one gets shots and Aziraphale pulls a bullet out of his mouth and the crowd goes wild. Furfur is disappointed, but it doesn’t matter, he got what he needed. 

Afterward, they’re in a dressing room and Az is absolutely tickled pink, he’s floating around with a boa and he asks Crowley if it really went well and he gets the affirmation that he needs. Az needs encouragement, all of the time, and it’s always all the better coming from Crowley. 

But their celebration is interrupted by Furfur, ready to have his own little moment. He introduces himself to Az and says he knows Crowley but Crowley truly seems not to recognize him whatsoever (which is the first time this happens in the season, but isn’t the last. Crowley has cobwebs y’all, and I know we are all curious as to where they came from). 

The point, he says, is that Crowley is in violation of the infernal code because he’s cavorting with an angel. He pulls out a little booklet that educates demons on angels of earth, open to Az’s page. The way he butchers Aziaphale’s name is wonderful, and gives Az the opportunity to correct him in a perfectly stern and authoritative way.

(Side note: if you blow up the page you can see that Az is classified as dangerous, and it says that if anyone runs into him, they shouldn’t approach and instead contact Crowley immediately. Boy has been protecting that sweet little angel's head for so long. But to be fair, he is potentially dangerous, guardian of the eastern gate, and all.)

Crowley tries to pass the whole thing off as coincidence but Furfur has the instruction manual for the trick, citing needing a “trusted stooge and confidant.” He tells them not to try anything funny because of the miracle blocker, and then he says to Crowley, “Shall we?”

The demon is unaffected though, he says “we shan’t” and he lays himself right out on the couch he’s been sitting on, covering his face with his hat. They don’t know about the photo of course, but each of them get a look at it and Furfur says Crowley can expect a legion to come for him in the morning, he should enjoy his last night on earth.

He then tells the zombies they’re free to go, but surprise! They’re gonna need to stay zombies. Hell’s deals are always trash. Don’t forget that, kids. 

Next thing we know, Furfur is back down, ready to show off his proof and get his promotion. Shax is looking on, interested, but when the envelope is opened, it’s just a flier for the girlie show, polaroid nowhere to be found. Our heroes have pulled one over on him. 

Back at the bookshop, Crowley is impressed with Aziraphale’s skills. He tries to recreate how he recovered the photo and swapped it, but of course he can’t. It worked when it mattered, and that’s all that matters. 

And then Aziraphale goes for it, he says “I knew you’d come through for me. You always do” and he’s using a quieter tone and it’s more of an acknowledgement of their relationship than Crowley’s gotten in a long time, maybe ever.  Crowley just says “well, you said trust me” and Aziraphale’s voice goes up a little bit and he says “and you did.” 

That’s the entire Arrangement, gang. They trust in each other that both will protect the fragile, whatever it is that they’ve forged, from everything. It’s not about helping out with the odd temptation or blessing, it’s about the fact that the only thing they have is each other. Which is why Aziraphale refused the holy water, and also why Crowley asked for it. 

True to his nature, Aziraphale insists that if Crowley was as evil as he says he was, he would have walked away from the trick, from the situation, but the demon says that you can’t just see things in black and white, you need to blur the edges. And Aziraphale actually agrees, he says there could be something said for shades of gray. Light gray, of course. And they just smile at each other.

SO my question is, all of this is lovely, right? They’re back to the two of them, whatever that might be, everything mostly worked out and Crowley thinks he’s successfully navigated their last fight and so does Az. Aziraphale is even starting to admit that maybe he could step out of the confines he’s trapped in (sometimes). 

But the next thing we know (from a timeline standpoint) is Aziraphale delivering a thermos full of holy water 20 some-odd years later and desperately saying “You go too fast for me, Crowley.” 

That poor angel spent twenty years thinking about 1941 and he’s got to be feeling guilty. Maybe he realized what the holy water could really be used for - after all, his love for human pageantry almost got Crowley dragged back to hell. Again. Like his need to do the holy thing had done in 1827. And his newfound interest in shades of gray could make everything even more dangerous. Especially with the way Crowley had treated him that night, the books and the trick and he never even tried to deny the compliments Az showered him with, and Aziraphale’s own feelings. 

So maybe it does make sense after all. Doting boyfriend was too much for him. I imagine him purposely avoiding Crowley at all costs through those years, until he could work up the nerve to deliver that thermos. He stepped out of his box ever so slightly and it almost ripped his only friend from him. All of the mini-sodes in this season are really about Aziraphale trying to get to gray (Crowley getting him there, so slowly, so patiently) and he does, and then it’s horrible somehow.

Do I now kind of want an entire season about the years between 1941 and 1967? Yes, obviously.

The point is, Aziraphale is still in his goddamn box throughout the season even though he’s more accepting of doting boyfriend as a general concept, and they’re still not fucking talking about any of it. Because that’s the Arrangement, and doing so would definitely skew more toward the dark shades Crowley prefers. 6,000 fucking years and the shade is still agonizingly light. It’s too light and y’all really need to find the correct hue and fast.

Because in the present, Shax gets authority to amass as many demons as possible, and attack the bookshop, that asshole. 

And Aziraphale returns home and Crowley thrusts a box of plants at him and coos to the Bentley about missing him and he asks how it went and Az unconvincingly says nothing weird happened at all but they aren’t hearing each other, they never ever hear each other properly.

 But, Crowley’s awning of a new age has failed, and so it’s Aziraphale’s turn to mess with human emotions that he doesn’t (quite) understand. Whickber Street Shopkeepers Association monthly meeting, here we come.

[ariesbilly]

It's terrifying also because I read posts on multiple very brave blogs that actually freaking admit their faults, their homophobia, their racism, their abuse and actively trying to unlearn these traits once they figured they were toxic and working on themselves every single day. By writing wonderful brave inspiring stories they admit accountability and also the will to grow and chance. They fully understand past people they hurt avoid them but still feel they deserve a chance to be loved and start again maybe with new encounters. So why WHY do antis dismiss those who actually DO relate to his racism? The world is not divided into black or white morality. We are more than that. It's horrible imho

I literally was thinking about adding on to my post that even if people did relate to billys racism, that actually isn’t a bad thing lmao

Because I’m assuming it’s coming from a place of “I used to do/say racist shit/have racist views, but I’m working on unlearning them and now realize how wrong it was etc etc and therefor I feel billy can grow from that too”

And I say this all the time but like…is that not the whole point of the conversations we’ve been having as a society as of late? Or do y’all just want everyone to stick to their bigoted views and die? I’m confused what are we doing

Like no one’s sitting around here going “I relate to billy because racism is good actually”. At no point is that the conversation being bad but for some reason it’s the conversation antis think exist. And maybe there’s a bigger conversation to be had about this stemming from a place of fear because across the board it’s always people deeply fearful of whatever a problem is that’s going on that will just… see shit that is not there. Because it’s coming from a different viewpoint than theirs. So people jump to conclusions and make up these wild conspiracy theories

Or maybe people just wanna be angry and start fights but again… clearly stems from a place of fear. Because I’d you’re getting this mad online over someone liking a fictional character there’s something going on in your life that’s much bigger than all of this.

But that’s a whole other conversation

[gilliebee]

nine (9) people you'd like to know better

I got tagged by the wonderful @five4boarding and tumblr never gives me a little +1 notification icon when I get tagged in anything (like any other type of note would, so I don’t get it!!), so I live in fear that I’m always gonna miss these BUT I caught this one at least 👉😎👉

Last song: during my morning walk I randomly remembered the catchiest depression bop and then remembered the first time I looked up the guy's wiki and saw that he played hockey and I was like you're telling me a knife-footed ice-gremlin sang this???? (swiss juniors but still high level for his age bracket I think?) Anyway... Tomorrow May Not Be Better (specifically this version https://open.spotify.com/track/0V1quXmlVC6eH5kcfYPWEW ) by Bastian Baker still slaps to this very day 😌👌

Currently watching: My longstanding guilty pleasure is docs/commentary videos about any and all scams, particularly mlms/pyramid schemes. So it should come as no surprise that my brand new guilty pleasure is debt confessions/financial audits on youtube 🙈 I've been been watching a few by caleb hammer whose gimmick is that he gordon ramsey style shames people who come in with their financial records and he's like hey. why do you have $120,000 in consumer debt? why did you finance an ipad for your literal infant child?? why have you spent 30 dollars multiple times a day every day at dunkin for the last 3 months??? (the last one is an exaggeration but the first two I have seen LOL). His thumbnails are wretched I hate them so, so much, and his advice of living spartan-like for a few years to dig yourself out of the hole is ehhh maybe good in theory but generally not exactly...practical. And I think going cold turkey when you're used to constant impulse buying is basically a recipe for just eventually losing control and going on a bender. But. I'm nosy and love hearing about how people be spending their money so that's the best part of the videos for me lol

Currently reading: haven't picked up something new yet BUT I juuuust finished An Unauthorised Fan Treatise which was SO GOOD I literally slammed it nonstop for two days until I finished it. It's formatted like a rpf conspiracy theory livejournal where a fangirl of a supernatural-drama show compiles evidence that the two lead actors are secretly dating. BUT it's noted that the livejournal has been submitted as evidence into for a murder trial so y'know TWISTS AND TURNS lol. There's just something about the format that really compels me, idk I already love reading primers and conspiracies for hrpf couples that I literally have zero investment in and never will- I just enjoy the way the girlies spin a good narrative. (and also watching video essays about the uhhh less casual to super trainwreck ones like the whole larry fiasco even though I never got into 1D, as well as general fandom fiascos like msscribe and snapewives etc etc IT'S ALL SO FASCINATING TO ME 🍿👀) So it was a really natural fit for me to read in a fictional setting. And it's free to read! https://gottiewrites.com/2019/10/14/31/

Current obsession: I’m a hobbyist game maker so at all times I am rotating little bits of character development, experimental mechanics, aesthetics, ui design etc etc in my brain but it becomes much more mentally consuming during the off-season bc god knows when bruins hockey is live it is Featured Live 24/7 In My Brain. But for now... my OCs on my mind 😌💭

tagging (if you want to): OH NO I’M SO BASHFUL I NEVER KNOW WHO TO TAG IN THESE 🫣🫣🫣 uh uh uhh maybe @ghostgeno @alavenderleaf @tylerbertuzzi @reavenedges-lies @krugstrash if y’all are so inclined?? but also no pressure no pressure again I’m just NOSY hehe

[arhvste]

❝bokuto, atsumu, suna and aran introducing their s/o in an interview❞

bokuto koutarō

→ E X C I T E D

→ why wouldn’t he be though?

→ he gets to finally introduce his wonderful s/o to the world

→ when his pr team gave him the green light, he didn’t hesitate

→ “ah bokuto! great playing today, might we ask who this is beside you?”

→ “this is y/n! aren’t they good-looking?! i’ve found myself a keeper huh?”

→ rambles on and on about you

→ no off switch

→ “so uh bokuto, do you mind talking to us about your opinion on your game performance today?”

→ “yeah lemme just finish telling you about this time y/n and i went on extreme fishing abroad! 🤩”

→ reporters are kinda like 😀 while he talks about you

→ fans are o b s e s s e d

→ #bokuy/n #stany/n #couplegoals are trending

→ twitter LOVE y’all

→ they love that bokuto doesn’t give af about what the reporters are saying 💀

→ he only seems to want to talk about you right now

→ it’s not like he’s purposely doing it though

→ he’s been wanting to talk about you for so long he’s just excited he’s finally allowed to

→ when you guys meet fans after the interview bokuto stops to chat to every single one

→ they love yourself and bokuto’s dynamic and laugh and joke with the two of you

→ a TON of group fan photos

→ bokuto fans are now y/n fans too

→ they literally decide you and bokuto will be married some day so they might aswell stan now

→ they’re gonna be looking out for you in future appearances with him

→ and you can bet yer ass that bokuto is gonna bring you along and show you off every chance he gets

→ fans are well fed by bokuto and it’s a fact

miya atsumu

→ literally almost fought with his pr team when they told him to wait a bit before introducing you to the public

→ “miya, your fangirls will most likely react badly if you introduce them right now.”

→ “yeah and? let em 🙄”

→ atsumu IGNORES his pr team and does it anyway cause he thinks it’s stupid about worrying what his fans will think

→ it’s not their decision who he dates 😡

→ anyways, he brings you on a talk show interview

→ “good evening miya-san, and whos this youve brought along with you?”

→ “this is y/n, aint they gorgeous?”

→ he is SHAMELESS about flirting with you on air

→ “yer so stunning tonight ya know? just wait till we get home 😏”

→ “m-miya-san! i think we should edit that out...”

→ fans have mixed reactions tbh

→ ya can’t please everyone ig

→ atsumu couldn’t give two shits though 😹

→ this man LIKES AND RETWEETS fans that are bashing other ones for not stanning them as a couple 💀

→ his pr team won’t stop ringing his phone to stop

→ doesn’t care at all, he’s always been transparent with how he likes his fans to behave why would this be any different?

→ in the end, more people start to stan after they see how seriously he’s taking this

→ since he genuinely seems to care and love you, they suppose they can stan y’all as a couple 😐

→ i’m sorry you guys aren’t trending the same way bokuto and his s/o were though 😹

→ give it a month though and a few magazine covers together and you have everyone wrapped round your finger and his fans start to like you more 🤪

→ more than atsumu in fact

→ because you’re so nice to his fans they just kinda convert 💀

→ atsumu doesn’t really mind tbh he’s just glad that you’ve been accepted and he doesn’t have to worry about people stepping too much out of line

suna rintarō

→ another one who doesn’t really care

→ he doesn’t exactly go out of his way to hide you but you guys aren’t big on pda either

→ suna leaves his fans GUESSING and doesn’t even know it

→ his fans literally s c a v e n g e for any little detail or anything about you because you and suna rarely go out and make a big scene

→ y’all are probably just grabbing lunch and his fans have several conspiracies over who you are what what the two of you are doing

→ it’s a whole big thing on his side of the twitter stans

→ suna doesn’t know about this because he’s not even on his own side of twitter 💀

→ suna’s timeline is a ton of stuff to do with gaming because i know this man streams with kenma sometimes

→ y’all can’t tell me that these two wouldn’t stream together and have an elite friendship after the timeskip 😡

→ and somehow suna made it onto barb stan twitter

→ no clue how he got there but he’s not mad about it because he thinks they’re funny af and is now a secret barb himself

→ anyways, eventually the two of you are caught on the street by an interviewer

→ and suna’s just there answering their questions like this 😐

→ he just wants to go grab some milk from the store with you can the reporters just gO away 😡

→ attention is then turned to you after the irrelevant small talk the interviewer had with suna

→ “oh ahahah just wondering... who’s this with you we’ve all been dying for an answer!”

→ “huh? you have? why? it’s just y/n my s/o it’s not that deep bro 🥱”

→ he doesn’t make a fuss about it and neither do you because like suna said it’s not that deep

→ the interviewer is just like 👁👁 and then thanks you and leaves

→ well that was easy wasn’t it?

→ that answers their months worth of questioning ig

→ you and suna later discover about the ongoing theories as to who you are and what you are to suna

→ from then on, the two of you MESS with his fans and constantly leave them guessing as to whether you’re together fr or not because y’all think it’s funny how much they care💀

aran ojiro

→ his pr team don’t even tell him to keep you from the public

→ this man is going to introduce you respectfully and properly and they know this

→ one of the few pro athletes who don’t need to have their social life kept on a leash because he goes the right way about it 😎

→ he brings you along to a magazine interviewing when you tell him that you’re comfortable with going public

→ oh btw, absolutely NO pressure from him to go public everything’s done in your own time

→ mf KING 😡🤚

→ straight away he’s making sure that this interview is based on your relationship rather than just him

→ “hey everyone, this is y/n my partner! they’re going to be joining me today!”

→ the interviewers LOVE you both

→ absolute dream to work with you guys

→ your dynamic is 🧑🏽‍🍳😙👌

→ every so often there’s a question about a recent games he includes you 😼

→ “so regarding your recent game, how well do you think you performed?”

→ “i think i was okay but definitely not at my best, it comes across differently watching from the sidelines though doesnt it! y/n, how did ya think i played from watching from yer perspective?”

→ see !! this man is including you every chance he gets 😩

→ fans adore you

→ literally deem you their parents 😎

→ just like bokuto, aran is wonderful to his fans

→ talks to every single one of them because he was raised to acknowledge anyone who politely acknowledges him

→ has full on conversations with as many fans as he can with you

→ tells them mf STORIES about the two of you and how you met etc

→ his meet and greet is literally story time with aran and y/n

→ fans are quiet and all stand around the two of you as you both tell little stories and stuff about your relationship

→ again, so many group photos

→ you guys literally become the parents of his fanbase

→ some fans are already planning your wedding for you on twitter 💀

→ aran doesnt mind though

→ cause he might just take a few of their ideas when he marries you for real 😏

general taglist → @atsumuwoah @bloody-bella @bbymilkbread @miracleboy420 @doggonudez @atsunakaashi @peteunderoos @saturnfarie @toffees-main @zumisace @boosyboo9206 @totorosleaff @27kei @babyybokutoakaashi

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[casmick-consequences]

Cas&Dean VS Claire&Jack

So I wrote [a small little theory] a while ago as to why I think Claire and Jack wouldn’t have been shown on screen together/have any connection throughout the show on-screen/off-screen at all. And so here I will some points as to why I think that is. 

AKA here’s the long awaited essay/conspiracy theory y’all have been asking for.

First of all; let me start off by saying this is 100% meant as a joke (no it’s not) and it’s not to be taken seriously (yes it is) as it’s literally just a dumb theory (it definitely isn’t). And second; fuck the C*W for contributing to every little bit of tinhatting this fandom (especially us hellers) has succumbed to.

-

Now; for this theory we have to understand a few things:

How Dean and Cas work as individuals

How Claire and Jack work as individuals

How Dean and Cas work as a duo

Let’s start with the first two things.

How Dean and Cas work as individuals

Dean Winchester is a masculine, tough but loving hunter. He cultivates a “bad-boy personality”, and makes sarcastic jokes at even the most morbid times. Underneath, though, he's become hardened by life as a warrior (as Daddy’s blunt instrument, if you will). He’s been taught to fight his father’s battles, and protect the ones he loves and cares for. But soon began to see that neither of his parents (especially his dad) did the job they were given when they had children. He didn’t just have to be a brother; he had to be a father and mother. He’s had to grow walls around him to stay strong for his little brother, but over time, after making a family for himself, it became easier to tear those walls down. However, he has his weak spots and is an emotional and loving human being through and through.

Castiel, the Angel of Thursday, is an angel of the Lord. He’s lived for aeons, and as an angel has (just like Dean) been taught to fight the battles of his creator and father. He’s a warrior, and he’s been given the job to follow the orders of said creator. Only for those orders to be thrown out the window once he meets Dean Winchester. The man who showed him that hate and anger isn’t always the true answer and that you can choose to be good. Everything that he has been taught slowly breaks away as his hard exterior crumbles, and he develops into a being with emotions, as he slowly but eventually learns to love and care for this man, and with that; humanity.

How Claire and Jack work as individuals

Claire Novak, a woman who has lead a tragic life, where she lost both her parents early on. Her father said yes to be the (permanent) vessel of an Angel, and her mother just disappeared after dropping her off to her Grandmother. After the grandmother had passed away, she was left alone. She had to fight through the world on her own, as she put a wall around herself to make herself stronger for the people around her. It took a while before she found her place in a loving family filled with strong women, who didn’t just help bring her walls down, but build a home instead.

Jack Kline is an innocent, naive but loving Nephilim. The son of the human Kelly Kline and the archangel Lucifer. He was destined for evil, as a Nephilim is one of the most powerful creatures in existence. But, with the help of his three Godfathers (heh), he learns that he doesn’t have to be evil. He can be whatever he wants to be. Controlling his powers has been hard, but no matter what happened, his mindset never changed as he grew to love the people and love the things around him. His biological father saw his power, but his chosen father saw his kind soul. Castiel believed he could create paradise, and he did, as he became the God that the universe deserved.

There are alot of parallels between Dean/Claire and Jack/Cas that can be compared to here. Let me show you a few:

So we’ve established that with Claire being Dean-coded, and Jack being Cas-coded, there could’ve definitely been potential for a cute Claire/Jack dynamic in the show. Why wouldn’t they have done that, you think? Perhaps this question can be answered when we look at thing number 3:

How Dean and Cas work as a duo

Destiel is the relationship between the hunter Dean and the angel Castiel. Castiel was ordered by God to free him from Hell, and afterwards he was supposed to do as he was told while Dean was supposed to figure out how to “stop the apocalypse” which happened to be a bunch of garbo afterwards knowing what we know now. Nonetheless, Castiel didn’t listen, as he quickly grew fond of the hunter and, because of him, developed a sense of emotion and free will. This lead to Castiel helping Dean throughout the Apocalypse, and beyond, and they’ve been best friends ever since.

There have been MULTIPLE essays on Tumblr about how this relationship works, and it would be silly of me to try and summarize stuff that hasn’t been said a million times already. But basically; What they have is quite a bit more than best friendship. It has been confirmed in 15x18, Despair, that Castiel has been in love with Dean for quite some time, as Dean’s own feelings are kind of all over the place. Nothing has been confirmed, yet nothing has been denied. But, seeing as all the insane things Dean has done for/because of/regarding Castiel... for instance:

defended his behavior to his brother and father when neither trusted him in season 6

kept his trenchcoat when he “died” in season 7, and keeping it with him in the trunk of his car(s) for the entirety of Castiel’s absence.

absolutely despises angels, and hates praying, yet he only ever prays to Castiel when he needs anything because he’s the only one he trusts

couldn’t get his mind of of him when he was possessed by Lucifer, and later taken by Amara in season 11

Has Castiel being referred to as his Colette by Cain (subtext but not really subtext because it was so incredibly obvious)

was supposed to be completely enamored by Amara and was supposed to be so hypnotizingly attracted to her that he couldn’t focus on anything else, yet he called out for Castiel’s name when it came down to it (aka the equivalent of calling out someone else’s name during sex) 

keeps looking at him like that

acted like a grieving widow when Castiel died in season 13

gets down on his knees to pray to, cry for and apologize to Castiel in Purgatory when there’s millions of creatures hunting his ass

...it’s easy to say that this is more than just a “brotherly friendship” between the two. There is dialogue that would NOT have worked between Sam/Cas because it would’ve felt weird. I wonder why.

So now to get back on topic; why is it that we’ve never seen Claire and Jack on screen together?

Is it because the writers didn’t have time to put them together in any given scenario whatsoever? Is it because the writers didn’t care enough for Claire to give her some more airtime with the boys? 

Or is it perhaps that if there was a possibility that they’d be on screen together, that they’d have a very similar (if not the same) connection to one another as Dean and Cas, only written as an actual little brother/big sister friendship dynamic?

-

So yes, TL;DR: the actual reason that Claire and Jack never met is because they would’ve had the exact same dynamic as Dean and Cas, but in this case platonic. Which would’ve meant that the audience would’ve seen a clear difference between the Dean/Cas dynamic and Claire/Jack dynamic, and it would’ve shown that the way they’ve been writing and directing the Dean/Cas scenes is romantic.

thank you very much, and I bid thee a very good night. <3

[utakoi]

The Answer

Pairing: Yandere!Pro-hero!Shoto Todoroki x Fem!Reader

Summary: Shoto’s constant affection towards you suddenly stops one day and you’re not sure if you’re entirely happy about it. 

Warnings: smut !!18+ ONLY!!, yandere themes, Stockholm syndrome, dubcon, cursing

Inspo Playlist: I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys // Control - Doja Cat // begin again - Purity Ring

A/N: super rusty, but hey, gotta start somewhere, hope y’all enjoy :)

You’ve gotta admit that you’re a little impressed with Shoto Todoroki’s seemingly endless amounts of patience. 

No matter how much you kicked, screamed, or bit, your captor never raised his voice or tried to fight back. Your first thought was that he was a masochist, secretly enjoying how you clawed at his skin whenever he was close and called him every name in the book. 

However, you’d catch a flicker of sadness in his eyes whenever you rejected his affectionate advances, but it would go away so quickly that you questioned if you ever even saw it at all. 

Despite your obvious hostility toward him, Shoto was never deterred from trying to smother you with his love. It was awkward oftentimes to the point you wondered if he’s had any sort of experience in the field of romance, but nonetheless, he tried.

The way he’d clumsily pull you into a hug and try to whisper sweet nothings in your ear could almost be called endearing. When he first called you his “sweet little sugar love,” you couldn’t stifle a giggle. Come on, calling you his “sweet little sugar love” in such a deep and monotone voice? He must have used it as a joke to get any type of positive reaction from you. However, considering how he only looked at you with a confused expression when you laughed, you were sure that he meant it seriously. After that, he seemed to call you overly cheesy pet names more and more just to get you to smile again. (They worked more times than you’d like to admit.)

Still, you just couldn’t forget the fact that he ripped you away from your ordinary life and forced you into a relationship with him. So, over and over again, you’d refuse his loving gestures, and over and over again, Shoto would just keep showing you how much he loves you. 

And then he just stopped.

It wasn’t all that sudden, moreso like a gradual decline over time.

Less touches, less words exchanged, less time spent with you… until he just left you alone a majority of the day. His hero duties would already ensure you having some alone time, but he’d usually try to sneak in a good morning kiss before leaving and immediately smother you with cuddles upon returning home. Now, he just goes off without a word and sleeps on the couch rather than sharing the bed with you. 

You were happy about it, grateful even. Sure, Shoto still left you locked in the house with no means of escape, but you felt like you could actually fully relax without dreading that his presence will soon invade your personal bubble. 

You could roam around the house. You could read a book. You could go down to the kitchen to have a snack.

All without Shoto by your side. 

But… it felt strange somehow. You reasoned with yourself that it may just be because you haven’t felt at ease in so long that it felt foreign to truly feel relaxed. You also considered that you had some slight paranoia, making conspiracy theories that Shoto’s finally done with your behavior and is just giving you a short period of peace before taking you to hell for acting so horribly towards him. 

None of those ideas seemed right, though. 

All you knew for sure was that the feeling didn’t sit well with you.

// // // // // //

The uncomfortable feeling is now at an all time high as you stare at Shoto’s sleeping face. Once again, he chooses to sleep on the couch instead of sharing the bed with you. You wonder why. His legs have to be bent quite a bit in order for his body to fit on the couch and his head is propped up so high on the throw pillow that you’re certain he has neck pain every morning. 

How long has it been since he’s avoided you like the plague? A month or two? You stopped keeping count after the first few weeks. 

For a while, you haven’t seen Shoto at all. Slipping by the door in the morning and only coming back at late hours of the night, it’s almost like you’re living with a ghost. The only pieces of evidence he’d leave that proves he was ever home are chopsticks and an empty bowl waiting in the sink to be washed. 

Looking at his sleeping face has somehow become a nightly routine for you. You’re not sure when or how it started. It just… did. You tried to stop yourself when you realized what you were doing, but you found it impossible to sleep without watching him for just a bit. 

Your little routine concerns you, but not as much as you know it should. That’s what really scares you. 

“What- what are you doing?”

You tense a little upon hearing Shoto’s raspy voice. You haven’t heard it in a while, that is, if you don’t count the times you’d hear his voice during interviews while watching television.

“I was... Just checking on you.”

His heterochromatic eyes widen a little, clearly surprised by your response. His usual stoicness returns, however, and he rises off the couch wordlessly to stand in front of you. He reaches a hand out, but he hesitates and eventually retracts it. 

The uncomfortable feeling in you intensifies slightly.

“It’s late. You should go to be-”

“Are you mad at me?”

Both of you are caught off guard at what tumbles out of your lips. It doesn’t take long before more words escape you.

“You- I haven’t seen you in so long. I thought- I thought that you were finally done with me. God, you w-woudn’t even say bye t-to me before you left for work and- fuck, I- I just…”

You’re sure that you’re rapidly spitting out so many words that Shoto can’t even keep up with what you’re saying. Hell, you don’t even know what you’re saying yourself. It isn’t until you feel Shoto’s hands cup your face gently that you stop. One of his thumbs brush against your cheek, smearing something wet on it. You realize that you were crying while you rambled. 

Shoto’s lips open and close, almost like a fish gasping when dragged onto land. Perhaps it’s because he’s still groggy from having woken up, but your gut tells you that he’s actually just choosing his words carefully.  

“Were… Why are you upset?”

Your mind reels at his question. Is that how you’re feeling? Upset? No, that’s not right, not completely.

But if Shoto is right with his assumption, then why? Why are you upset? Well, wouldn’t anyone be upset because they were suddenly kidnapped? But then, that begs another question that you’re not ready to think about, or, rather, a question that you’ve refused to acknowledge:

Why doesn’t the thought of being freed from Shoto make you happy anymore?

“I…” You mumble. Your mind is screaming at you not to answer him, but… you just can’t endure the emotion bubbling up in your chest anymore. Saying it out loud should make you feel better. Giving in would make you feel so much better. 

Finalizing your decision and shushing the nagging voice in your head, you look straight into Shoto’s eyes.

“I miss you, Shoto.”

With that, you lean forward and press your lips against his. When he gasps in shock, you take advantage of it and dart your tongue inside his mouth. Groaning into the kiss, you can feel his hands move from your face to your waist, gripping your body closely to his. 

“You- Did you miss me?” You ask breathlessly once you pull away. Shoto gives you a rare smile and even a soft chuckle. 

“You have no idea how much I longed for you.”

Soon after his response, his lips attach to your neck, sloppily licking and biting at the sensitive skin. Meanwhile, one of his hands wander downwards to cup your sex, rubbing slowly at your clothed opening. You cry out and buck your hips, prompting another chuckle from him.

“Needy for me already, my baby? I can feel your pussy dripping on me, even through these shorts of yours.”

The new nickname he gives you sends shivers down your spine. Since when did he learn how to talk dirty so well?

“I can’t believe I lasted so long not touching you, and now, you’re the one coming to me, admitting you miss me…” 

His hands tug down your shorts, falling and pooling around your feet. 

“And you’re not wearing panties, either? You must have wanted this so bad, baby. I wonder how many times you’ve gone to bed, hoping that I’d join you and fuck you during your sleep.”

Shoto plunges one of his fingers into your hole, pumping it slowly. Simultaneously, his thumb rises a little to place pressure on your clit. You mewl and grip onto his shoulders, digging your nails into them.

“Wh-why didn’t you?” You manage to ask coherently before he adds a second finger inside you, scissoring them slightly. You almost think that Shoto ignores your question, but eventually, he moves away from suckling at your neck and makes eye contact with you.

“Because I knew that once I put distance between us, you’d realize how much you needed me.”

For a split second, the voice in your head appears again.

He manipulated you.

He conditioned you to yearn for his affection. 

He planned everything out.

Yet, as you can feel the lingering sting of Shoto’s lovebites on your neck and his thick fingers slowly bringing you to the edge, you can’t help but not care. All that matters now is that Shoto was right in front of you and he isn’t going to leave you ever again. 

“Shoto… Please, I need more. I need you.” You whimper. He wastes no time in pushing you to lay on the couch and cage your body in his. Once he tugs down the waistband of his pants, you gulp at his size.

His erection’s red tip beads with precum. 

“Ready, my lovely baby?”

You nod, eagerly spreading your legs as much as you can. Slowly, Shoto’s dick enters you inch by inch, stretching you more and more. Your head tips back, overwhelmed at how absolutely full he makes you feel.

“Ngh, you’re so tight, so wet. I love you, baby, I love you so much…” Shoto leans forward fully, your chests pressing against each other. Rocking against you, he whispers endless amounts of praise about how perfectly you take his cock and how wonderful you make him feel. You just moan, far too lost in pleasure to say anything clearly. 

As the both of you grow closer to the edge, his thrusts inside you become less gentle, turning into a frantic rut. 

“Cum together with me, ok, baby? I need you to be a good girl and cum with me. Can you do that for me?”

“Y-yes, I can, Shoto!” 

Soon after, you feel yourself reach your high, your walls clamping down on him as much as they can. Shoto follows suit, managing one more thrust before cumming.

Once you come down, the realization that he had just cum inside you hits. Both of your hands come to rest on your stomach. 

“Is something wrong, my sweet little sugar love?’

You meet Shoto’s eyes, looking down at you with what you can only describe as pure adoration. You simply smile and raise one of your hands away from your belly to run through his dual colored hair. 

“No, nothing at all.”

[frogtanii]

hq boys as the crimes they’d commit

warnings: CRIMES, crackfic, probably many typos idk i’m so tired lmaooo, cursing, drinking ??? idfk 😩💦

an: and i did this for what?? inspired by hq hcs royalty @sugardaddykenma @hina-wit-da-glock (AJSKSJ SORRY FOR TAGGING Y’ALL IF YOU SEE THIS, IT IS DEF NOT UP TO PAR W Y’ALLS WORKS ILY)

karasuno

sawamura daichi- insurance fraud!! somehow this is such a dad crime to commit?? dadchi didn’t try (dumb excuse, how do you accidentally commit insurance fraud smh) to commit insurance fraud but at one point in his late-thirties, he was very very broke and was already working as much as possible so, he decided to fake an ankle injury, as you do, and filed a bunch of claims which made him bank. daichi kept doing it until he was able to quit one of his jobs and buy himself a really nice suit and a rolex (uhhh 🥵). he somehow never got caught tho and to this day, none of his friends know how he was able to afford a tesla on a cop’s salary (sorry daichi but acab 😔✨)

sugawara kōshi- child abandonment!! ok you can try and fight me on this but i feel in my bones that suga absolutely despises children. he can tolerate ages 10+ but anything younger than that, he will punt them into the next dimension. the thing is, people just assume he likes kids because of how good he is with his team which is why his aunt begged him to babysit his nephew taro. taro was being an absolute brat when suga took him out for the day and he was 👉👈 this close to snapping. he put taro down for like 3 seconds to pay for their ice cream and when he turned back, the demon spawn was gone. he panicked, running around the park looking for taro when it turns out, taro was just bent down behind the bench. some random karen called the police and suga has never craved murder more.

nishinoya yuu- arson!! you CANNOT tell me nishinoya doesn’t have a ~murder~ playlist that he listens to to get himself hype (me too noya, me too). one night, he got a lil too hype listening to start a riot by duckwrth and watching demolition videos on youtube. he snuck out of his house to an empty shed like 30 minutes away and maybe... lit it on fire while genocide by lil darkie played on a speaker nearby. what he did NOT anticipate was the absolute size of the fire so he freaked out and called the firefighters who promptly called the police. he didn’t want to get grounded so he called daichi to bail him out. daichi still told noya’s parents 😔.

tanaka ryūnosuke- vandalism!! tanaka had been on alt tiktok and saw a group of cool friends spray painting an abandoned building. he thought “that’s cool, lemme do that!” but then he realized he had no friends (AHDGS JK I LOVE TANAKA). he asked nishinoya who was grounded from the arson incident and he knew he definitely couldn’t ask daichi, suga, asahi, or enoshita so he decided to go it alone. that proved to be a MASSIVE mistake. he got the supplies, arrived to the building of his choice (thanks saeko :3), and decided to spray paint a huge p3ni5 in bright red paint. he finished “successfully” and zoomed back home. what he didn’t realize with his two-and-a-half braincells is that he signed his glorious piece with his full name. the cops were at his house the next morning...🧍

hinata shoyō- forgery!! hinata did NOT think that forgery was even a crime. how was he supposed to know that he wasn’t allowed to copy his mom’s signature on a permission form! all he wanted was to go to an overnight training camp 😿

kageyama tobio- attempted murder!! kageyama swears it sounds worse than was and he is absolutely incorrect. what happened was so much worse. he and hinata were having a competition to see who could hold their breath the longest underwater (you can’t tell me they haven’t done some dumbass shit like this) and kageyma lost almost instantly (he has the tiny lungs of an asthmatic). he didn’t want hinata to notice so he held hinata’s head under the water for like 10 seconds. suga walked in though, saw hinata thrashing around in the water and immediately called the police. kageyama never forgave him.

tsukishima kei- cyberbullying!! first of all, i had no idea you could get arrested for cyber bullying!? that being said, neither did tsukishima who spent 80% of his time making fun of people online (and on his real account!! bold). eventually one of the people he bullied (hinata) reported him on instagram and his very lame account was deleted (pls don’t bully people online 😤).

yamaguchi tadashi- shoplifting!! andjksh this is so funny because this scenario has happened to me and i can just SEE this happening to poor tadashi. yamaguchi gets super late night cravings (and usually tsukki will walk with him at like 3 am 🥺 nEWAYS) so he’ll sneak out and walk to the mini-mart near his house. one night, he was so tired but also super hungry so he went onto his nightly routine and basically sleepwalked into the store. he picked out his favorite chips and candy bar (which are sour cream&onion lays and milky ways in case you were wondering 😌✨) and just... walked out the store without paying. the store clerk was mysteriously missing so yamaguchi made it all the way home, ate half the bag of chips and passed out without realizing what he’d done. once he did, he cried for 2 hours straight.

nekoma

kuroo tetsurō- telemarketing fraud!! kuroo originally did telemarketing fraud as a joke?? like he was trying to prank call someone pretending that they had lost their information and they actually gave it to him??? he was mildly concerned but even more excited. he did it over and over again but he never used the info for anything. to this day, kuroo literally has a notebook full of credit card numbers and bank account passwords but he refuses to use it because he believes it’s ✨wrong✨(but it isn’t wrong to take all that information in the first place under false pretenses, not realizing that once people find out, they are forced to close credit cards and accounts but go off self righteous king). once he brought the book up to kenma and he offered to sell it on the dark web. now kuroo feels less bad about what he’s done! :D

kozume kenma- computer crime!! pfttt this one seems kinda obvious but what do you expect from kenma :). he spends so much time on the internet, he’s definitely picked up some less than legal skills that still help him now 👀. kenma did little mini crimes like getting into other people’s wifi but his crowning achievement was when he hacked into the minneapolis pd website and had it so when you opened the page, a black lives matter screen came up. he never told anyone that it was him who did it but he thinks it’s the best he’s ever done.

yaku morisuke- racketeering!! yaku, the feral king, ran an underground gambling ring in the basement of nekoma (do they have basements?? who knows! i don’t!) during his third year. the only reason it didn’t get shut down was because coach nekomata took a portion of yaku’s profits whenever he won (which was literally all the time). everyone on the team has lost money to him which is why they never play with him anymore. they won’t even let yaku play monopoly 😔.

haiba lev- indecent exposure!! poor lev’s head is so empty, he tends to fall for whatever pranks his senpai’s do to him. this time kuroo had somehow convinced him that in order to grow his schlong, he had to run outside naked for 10 minutes because the moonlight had special growing properties. lev was a lil scared ngl because he was already superrr tall and didn’t need to grow his height (or his dick ((boy is hung)) but poor lev is insecure) but he did it anyway. long story short, an old woman saw him parading around the neighborhood naked and called el policia. 0/10 dick did NOT grow and had to spend a night in jail naked 😿

aoba johsai

oikawa tōru- prostitution!! KAKKAKA iwazumi made fun of oikawa for being so shitty and said that he couldn’t pick up anyone if he tried. flattykawa took this as a personal challenge and went out onto the street, asking people if they’d have sex with him. with the way he was asking (and the way he was dressed), people assumed he was a paid w h o r e and someone eventually reported him. iwazumi had to pick oikawa up from the station- he never let him live this one down.

iwaizumi hajime- battery!! it wasn’t technically battery but oikawa is a lil bitch and overreacts (at least in his words -_-). the amount of times iwa-chan has beat the absolute shit out of oikawa is uNREAL. he just can’t handle the stupidity sometimes so he just smacks the crap outta him. not for real for real but the way oikawa reacts, you’d think a murder was occurring. one time, shittykawa screeched so loud, they got a noise complaint -_- hajime hates it in these streets.

matsukawa issei & hanamaki takahiro- conspiracy!! issei and hiro have a secret blog where they discuss conspiracy theories and such but one day, hiro found an article that explained how jfk’s death was an inside job. he sent it to issei who began to theorize how HE’D do it. that devolved into a massive thread on their blog of how’d they murder a president which blew up and caught the attention of the cia who sent the a letter telling them to quietly delete the blog. they did because they were terrified but they kept the letter and now it’s framed in issei’s apartment.

kyōtani kentarō- assault!! baby is an angry little boy but for all the right reasons. he was at a bar (when he’s all grown up, duh) and he spotted an absolute drunk creep hitting on a girl who clearlyyyy did not reciprocate his feelings. kyōtani, being the respectful king that he is, went over to the guy, pulled him by the jacket and beat. the. shit. out of him. while the bartender was happy with the fact that the creep was out, he was not impressed with the damage to his bar. he just sent kyōtani out who casually adjusted his leather jacket and rings, and hopped on his motorcycle to ride away into the night. i am the FATTEST simp for this man ONG 🥴

shiratorizawa

ushijima wakatoshi- stalking!! poor ushijima has no idea how intimidating he can be. he was on a train late at night after practice and the woman sitting across from him left her purse sitting on the seat. being the gentleman that he is, he took the purse and followed her to return it. the only problem is that the closer he got, the faster she ran and when he tried to speak (yknow with his scary, deep, baritone voice), the woman screeched and called the cops on him because he was a “strange, big man who was following her home.” when the police showed up, ushijima was painfully confused and just held up this tiny ass purse in his massive hands. the cops laughed.

tendō satori- ???!! no one knows what crimes (or how many 😳) tendō has committed but each of his teammates have different ideas- ushijima: “i don’t believe tendou is capable of committing any sort of felony. well, maybe murder”; semi: “of COURSE he’s capable of crimes??! do you know how many times i’ve seen him come into the dorm with a suspicious stain of red on his sweater?? *shudders* if i end up dead, tendō did it...” in actuality, the only crime tendō has committed is ~drugs~ but he’s not bouta tell his friends that.

goshiki tsutomu- would be a VICTIM!! my baby tsutomu would NEVER commit a crime!!! i love this man with my everything and the only crime he’s committed is being too damn cute 😤🥺

[killtheperfectfriends]

who am i?

okay, so honestly i’m not entirely sure WHO I AM, but i can do the basic thing where i share my favorite things to see if anyone else thinks i’m decently interesting enough to strike up a convo.

to keep things honest, i’m super nice but i’m also a dick. there’s no middle ground unfortunately lmfao.

i’m really big into journalism, i want to become a writer one of these days (which probably sounds insane because of my poor grammar, i know. i just don’t take the time to hit the caps lock every few seconds... bear with me). i’m a pretty average kid i think. i don’t do too much out of ordinary. i go to work, come home, hangout, repeat. 

anyway, i guess i’ll start listing shit lmfao:

music:

yea, so, my music is very open.

this is my go-to playlist for most days, it’s mostly nascar aloe than anything else: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2N6vljb4pHKPiupl4xPzGK?si=1cca9f45e7714a21 

this playlist.. i can’t tell if i’m the killer or the victim. but i feel like i’m in a horror movie that’s the only definite thing i know: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1BhkP55x0VWYdjrZ3DvtZX?si=72c36ade78b74134

this playlist makes me feel like life isn’t ALWAYS shitty, i listen to it for cleaning and when i’m at work most the time though: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5dLSqqyir8FozhrFeP0Bv2?si=11abd32821d247a4

shows:

these aren’t really out of orbit with each other TOO much, i watch a lot of the same shit over and over.

i just recently finished YOU, it was definitely one of the best series i’ve seen in a LONG time. 10.10 recommend watching it, ESPECIALLY if you like crime/murder shows. Joe, he’s a mixture of Dexter and Bundy i swear to god.

im STILL waiting for this one, but Stranger Things was another amazing series... so far, i recommend that if you’re into sci-fi, dungeons and dragons, conspiracy theories and the wrong people dying.

a series i could watch millions of times would be Shameless. idk how to describe that show other than by saying it’s fucking AMAZING. 45/10. i’d recommend this for anyone older than like 13, 14 maybe. idk what y’all have been able to see lmfao, i just know there’s a lot of naked. yuck.

another show i could rewatch zillons of times (minus season 10) would be American Horror Story. it’s just too good. 

movies:

lol, okay, so. as hard as this will be for me i’m gonna narrow the list down to 8 of my all time favorite movies.

starting off with:

The Fox and the Hound. this CLASSIC 1981 family movie has brought me so much happiness in my lifetime. copper was of course my favorite because i would easily kill for any animal but a BLOODHOUND?! it’s on sight at that point.

The Outsiders. what could go wrong with the 1983 classic of the Greasers and the Socs? this movie is one of my comfort movies. the casting is amazing, the script, everything. the best part of the entire movie is the bond between Johnny and Dally. they both deserved better.

The Nightmare Before Christmas: this movie, although it is one of my all time favorites is way too overrated. but this 1993 film was what brought my love for Tim Burton. it’s a great movie, for sure. but its not THAT good.

The Harry Potter Series: yes, it’s 89% for draco. these 2000s movies were literally perfect. the casting is wonderful, the scripting, the props, the cgi, all of it was perfect. fred and george deserved better.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: wide turn huh? i know. ANYWAY, although there’s a FUCK TON of adaptations done on these movies, my favorite will always be the one made in 2003, idk why. just is.

The Craft: THIS 1996 CLASSIC WILL FOREVER BE TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. “jealous? jealous! you don’t even EXIST to me!” will probably always live in my head rent free and i’m fine with that. although i loved Skeet playing in SCREAM he fucked with the wrong girl fr this time in this movie.

Labyrinth: this. movie. is. phenomenal. this 1986 classic will always play in the back of my head. david bowie was too good for this world, i can’t think of someone who could’ve played the goblin king better than him. the only downside to this movie are the Fireys. those things are scary ASF. (it’s the red fox lookin things that take their heads off). 

The IT Movies (1986, 2017, 2019): these movies are amazing, tim curry genuinely scared the shit out of me as a kid. 

random bullshit i feel anyone should know about me:

 I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS ARE. YOU RESPECT ME, I RESPECT YOU.

I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU IDENTIFY AS. YOU RESPECT ME, I RESPECT YOU. (PLEASE TELL ME SO I DON’T UPSET YOU).

I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOUR SEXUALITY IS. YOU RESPECT ME, I RESPECT YOU.

[ushibug]

SMOKING WITH THEM //UA BOYS.

Summary: what it’d be like to be under the influence with them :D LOL

Warning: usage of weed, swearing, dumb teen things.

Bakugo Katsuki

It’s quiet

It’s probably in the comfort of a room, with low lights on and some music playing

It’s such a soft aura

(smoking with Bakugo is a PRIVILEGE take it or leave it.)

Some hot cheetos or takis are included so there is some munching as the bag is between you two on the floor.

both of you can’t speak, but there’s so many things you guys wanna say

So it’s just you both half awake, staring up at those stupid star stickers, jus thinkin

Eye opening highs every time with him

Minds going x games mode

It’s only when Bakugo chuckles at his own immaculate thoughts that brings your attention back to this moment

“What?” You croak, a sly smile played on your lips as your eyes crinkle more due to being clammy

“Just thought about how stupid Deku is.” He smiles contently.

“Lol. I see that.” You nod, laying back down.

Denki Kaminari

It’s a blast

It’s probably you guys outside because you smoked somewhere random then realized McDonalds is sounding really good

Two shitfaced teens on the streets, the best combination tbh.

Denki makes anything and everything funny.

“Look a branch.” He stifling his laugh so hard as he points.

Making you spit out in laughter.

Then he proceeds to say “tree.” Which makes you both piss your pants.

Once you reach McDonald’s in a stumble because of how clammed up your eyes are it’s 10x better.

Poor night shift employee as you guys stupidly stare at the menu for minutes.

When you guys finally get the foods it’s at the booth in the corner by the window.

“I fucking love Burger King.”

“Dude were at McDonald’s.”

“For real?”

Kirishima Eijiro

It’s a adventure.

It’s probably him dragging you along everywhere

Anywhere accessible at the evening starting with watching the sunset high as kites at a pond

Who makes the best duck sound? Let’s find out.

Then it’s yall going to whatever next great view of the city there is.

Or to a random lively city street if y’all bold bold.

It’s a bit quiet with you guys just taking in everything. Likes you’ve never seen it before.

Occasionally being loud when you both see something you’d like, or amazes you.

But as soon as y’all see a human? Stiff as a board. Even tryna roll in the ground like ninjas to avoid humans.

Kinda hard when all you hear is snickering behind that pole bc Kirishima couldn’t do a proper summer sault.

“Do you think they saw us?” You ask, peeking over the bush.

No response

“Kirishima?? Dude report to me man!” You whisper yell looking around.

“Pss down here!” He whispers from the ground where he is face planted.

“Nice.”

Sero Hanta

It’s hectic

It’s in the middle of a living room, with a cool action movie playing and yall so indulged in.

Stuffing your face in anything that’s in the fridge

Bruh even croutons taste immaculate

Until the credits roll, and music plays...

Cause when the music plays?? Man y’all on your feet.

It’s sweating and gasping at who can dance the best.

Both just going at it until the music FINALLY ends and you guys are left in pants,

“I have a wii.” Is all he whispers out

Fuck it, that whole session is yall just having a dance off on wii now.

Just Dance 1,2,3,4 & 5

Sorry babes but you loose when Shakira or any Latin song comes on :/ cause he can MOVE hips

“I-” pauses to to a spin. “Am going too-” lil hip movement “WIN.” He yells hitting that special move

Your just watching him in amazement. You stopped playing 1 minute into Hips Dont Lie just to observe

“Can... can you twerk?”

Shinsou Hitoshi

It’s chill

Almost like a goofy meditation

Both of you sitting across from eachother on the balcony, bong in the middle.

Staring contest and the first one to break has to drink the bong water.

But it’s long forgotten cause while staring you both get lost in train in thought.

It’s kinda deep too, both of you speaking about anything and everything relevant to your lives.

Like y’all be talking about how assimilated First Nations people are to what you’d do if aliens chose you as the president to why y’all knew you where depressed at the age of 11.

Shinsou is invested when it comes to conspiracy theories.

The use of “bruh” is also very common in this session.

Y’all there but not there so it’s a good flow of conversation and just an overall great vibe.

“..and that’s how I knew If the zombie apocalypse happened I’d be the 12th person in class to croak.” You stretch, finally finishing your explanation.

“This doesn’t explain how if Regina Goarge was there she’d die third.”

Mirio Togata

It’s pure happiness.

It’a like reality shifts too this unrealistic too perfect of a world with him

Both leaning against the counter, laughing as you both lick spoons of batter from the cookies that where baking.

Him talking on about how dandelions are flowers, or how there’s a certain beauty in everything and anything.

You talking about how bees are such a wonderful creation, and how cute humans truly are.

It’s oddly serious, very analytical with a goofy underside.

Obviously goofy y’all high as fuck in a kitchen

Tbh hes also the type to eat a whole peanut butter jar so beware

The cookies are a little burnt but you guys laugh when you notice how horrible of a circle they are.

“Kinda looks like a paw print.” Mirio mumbles, inspecting the cookie in his hands.

“What if we we got Tamaki to eat a dog, would he turn into one?” You croak out, snickering at the not so thought out thought.

Mirio gasps at the thought of him eating a dog out of all things.

Your eyes widen at what you just said before mirios mouths open...

“Dude...that’d be adorable.”

YALL CANT THINK MORALY OKY?? LMAO

[clockworkouroboros]

I’m in a The Amazing Devil Discord server and have been going wild with crazy insane theories about just about everything, drawing connections that probably don’t actually exist, and generally losing my mind over both Love Run and The Horror and the Wild. That being said, I do have a theory about THatW that, if it’s not true, at least merits me a tinfoil hat, I think. Just be warned, this post will be long, and yes, I will include receipts.

So here’s this theory and Joey, if you read this, just know that I’m impressed either at how much thought was put into this, or the sheer number of coincidences that make this work if it wasn’t planned. It’s turned me into a conspiracy theorist for the past four days or so? And it’s severely affected the amount of sleep I’ve been getting.

My basic theory here is that Joey and Madeleine aren’t singing as themselves throughout this album, they’re playing characters, and those characters are old gods. Joey is the Wild, Madeleine is Time. (Alternatively, she’s Horror, fitting with the album title, but as she’s never explicitly referred to as such, I’m not insisting on that point.)

Now, where am I getting this silly idea from? None other than the title track, of course, in which Joey sings, “witness me, old man, I am the Wild, and Madeleine sings, “And I am Time itself.” And yes, they are both capitalized like that in the lyrics.

So they explicitly refer to themselves as such. But Emily, you might be saying (or not, depending on how much you care), that’s one song! This is hardly an album’s worth of proof! Sure, they might be gods in this song, but what about the other eight? To which I say, hoo boy, I’m just getting started.

Before I continue, I’d like to add something about how their characters are depicted throughout the album: Joey is more cheerful, Madeleine is not. (see: Wild Blue Yonder, Marbles, Battle Cries.) Joey is whimsical, Madeleine is practical. (See Battle Cries especially, but you can also see this in Wild Blue Yonder.) Madeleine is referred to multiple times as being stronger than Joey, and appears to assume a more protective role over Joey’s childlike. This fits in with my theory, by the way, in a roundabout sort of way that involves some squinting. Joey is the Wild, which is...well, wild. Think of little kids: cheerful, whimsical, in need of protection. Madeleine is Time. She knows what has been, what is, and what will be. Of course she’s going to be more mature, practical, and pessimistic.

And why is this important? Well, it’s kind of how I’m tying together a lot of the rest of the album. (Not all of it; Farewell Wanderlust is a notable outlier in many ways, and some of my connections are tenuous at best, but we’re going to ignore that and pretend it’s all rock-solid. Rockrose-solid. I’m sorry, I’m very tired.) I’m ignoring The Rockrose and the Thistle a little bit in this post, not because I dislike it (it’s gorgeous), but because it’s stubbornly eluding my attempts to tie it into anything other than Elsa’s Song, which isn’t even part of this album.

The vast majority of what you need to know about these two characters is in The Horror and the Wild (the song), so I’m gonna copy/paste some lyrics, and go through them. (Actually, the copy/pasting is nonexistent, these lyrics are imprinted on my brain at this point. That being said, if there are errors, lmk and I will edit the post and fix them!)

So we’ve got Madeleine starting, singing about Joey, with “You were raised by wolves and voices, every night I hear them howling deep beneath your bed, they said it all comes down to you.” Aside from the fact that I have no clue why “it all” comes down to Joey, or anything with that last bit, maybe a few more late nights with a tinfoil hat will do the trick. That being said, the first line of the song references childhood specifically in relation to Joey. Notice also how wolves are referenced in Wild Blue Yonder (“we don’t know what’s out there/could be wolves”) and That Unwanted Animal (“‘What’s the time, Mr. Wolf,’ but you, you’re blind, you bleat, you bear your claws”). The whole “howling” thing and “deep beneath your bed” both pop up in That Unwanted Animal, too: “and on the wind it howls,” for one. And for the other, there’s “you [presumably Joey] make the bed up silent on the floor so no one hears us,” later followed later in the song by “and the door below us splinters, and the creature creeps inside.”

Following this, Joey sings about Madeleine: “you’re the daughter of silent watching stones, you watch the stars hurl all their fundaments, in wonderment at you and yours, forever asking more.” First of all, I’m gonna say that this is Joey’s point of view; later on, Madeleine will refute the daughter thing (“I’m not a drunkard, a daughter, a preacher”.) Anyway, “silent watching stones” could reference Wild Blue Yonder: “every stone you threw, I stood on to better see the view.” The view being the stars hurling all their fundaments?

(Incidentally, I knew vaguely what “fundament” meant, but I looked it up to make sure I had it right, and learned that, among its other meanings, “fundament” can mean “butt.” But I don’t think that’s what Joey had in mind with this. I just think y’all should appreciate it.)

Anyway, we’ve also got in Battle Cries, “With you I could summon the gods and the stars, make them dance out the plays that we wrote from the heart, and we’d laugh at the ghosts of our fears,” with Madeleine singing, “Come on, love, please don’t start, sing your notes play your part,” and then the part that gets me every time: M: “we were gods,” J: “we were kids.” Which is a whole other can of worms involving their personalities, which I’ve already briefly outlined. My point is the whole “gods and the stars” bit.

I could (and have, on Discord) done a full, in-depth analysis of this track, and I don’t want to go all over it again, but “I promise you, they’ll sing of every Time you passed your fingers through my hair and called me child, witness me, old man, I am the Wild” has both Time and Wild as proper nouns in the lyrics, plus reinforces Time’s view of the Wild as a child. No clue who the old man is, though.

In verse two, Madeleine sings, “you [Joey] are the son of every dressing-up box, and I am Time itself, I slow and let you play, I steal the hours, and turn the night into day.” Again, this reinforces Joey’s childlike aspects (which will later be hinted at in That Unwanted Animal, with the “god-child,” who’s clearly Joey), but also shows, as in the refrain, the fact that Time has a sense of protectiveness over the Wild, at least sometimes.

That being said, although I’ve obviously referenced other songs, I still have mostly focused on the title track. So. I’m going to go through some of the other songs real quick.

The songs on the album (again, excepting Rockrose, because my attempts to tie it in have been frustrating and not gone anywhere, Mr. Batey please explain) can be grouped into categories: songs outright referencing gods (THatW, Farewell Wanderlust, That Unwanted Animal, Battle Cries), songs about their relationship, (arguably all of them, although Welly Boots is a bit confusing), and songs that refuse to allow me to classify them (Rockrose).

I would argue that this entire album is about the relationship of two old gods, but I’m not quite sure what the chronology is of the album, because it seems like it can’t be straightforward. (Farewell Wanderlust, although its placement makes sense in the setup of the album, doesn’t make sense in the chronology of this theory.) Another important note in some way is that every song on the album, with the exception of Farewell Wanderlust, is about being there for someone, or steadfastness in some capacity, while Farewell Wanderlust is about abandonment. It’s an outlier in a lot of ways. (Though not as many ways as frickin Rockrose.)

I have been talking about this at great length (and almost incessantly) on Discord, so unless you want this post to get even longer, I’m going to run by some lyrics real quick to try and show a little bit my thought process.

- “He watches her get dressed as though she’s hurtling through time” (Fair)

- “And she is stronger than he has ever been, he knows” (Fair) versus “Without you, I’m stronger, I’m no longer filled with wonder. How wrong you were” (Wild Blue Yonder, Welly Boots)

- J: “Place your hand in mine” M: “Hold the hand of the god-child, they said, as he falls from the sky” (That Unwanted Animal)

- “I’m the saint of the paint that was left in the pot, I’m your angel ellipsis, your devil of dots” (Farewell Wanderlust)

- “the fluttering of all your wings” (The Horror and the Wild) versus “when you think about him, my wings start to flap” (Farewell Wanderlust)

- “come, devil, come, she sang, call out my name. Let’s take this outside, ‘cos we’re one and the same. Our gods have abandoned us, left us, instead, take up arms, take my hand, let us waltz for the dead” (Farewell Wanderlust)

There are even more lyrics, and I’m going to be completely honest with you, I’ve gone totally insane with all of this, but this post is way too long already, so just let me know if you want any clarification or something.

Tldr: The Amazing Devil’s album The Horror and the Wild is about two old gods, one being Time, and the other being the Wild, or the god-child. The album is primarily about their relationship and steadfastness they show each other, even in tumultuous circumstances.

Now go excuse me while I attempt to take off this tinfoil hat that appears to be stuck on my head.

[whatiwillsay]

Hi!! Love the blog and pod. There's been discussions recently about 'K Anon logic' (e.g believing everything Dianna does is a reference to Taylor since k*rlie seems to use 'easter eggs' on her social accounts to bait k*ylors, gaylors believing that models who wear certain colours have to be taylor's muse because they wore gold in a photoshoot once) and it's a really interesting concept. I was wondering if you could expand on this and maybe even list some behaviours that k*ylors and former kays who are still gaylors engage in, and how we're trying to move away from that with a healthy dose of skepticism and questioning the info that comes our way? Hope this makes sense!!

i think it has to do with an overall world view of ‘if i see something, something must be there’ like this general sense of assuredness that’s completely unearned since stuff like the eye theory, all the weird numerology they do, the reachier crack, and even less reachy predictions they’ve made just never coming true.

could people be putting hints about their personal lives in their social media? sure!  is it ok to wonder if they are?  why not!  BUT nothing good comes from building an entire fandom around these reaches.  it leads to conspiratorial thinking which too easily gives way into other harmful thinking (”only i know the one Truth”, “taylor swift is personally communicating with me”, anti semitism that runs rampant in conspiracies, etc.). the problem is, when your otp has been seen together once in the past five years and you need new content to engage with your fandom and prove they’re still together you do have to start making things up.

and i’ve seen people apply this to karlie and say it proves they’re still together which is stupid and ofc i’ve already outlined why it’s harmful but when people apply kaylor logic to dianna it’s even more annoying because when karlie does it she’s just signalling her Truth but when dianna does it she’s clout chasing and trying to use taylor to like market stuff which is just so wrong.  

i basically consider it a fact that dianna does not like that kind of attention (which is why i beg y’all to never bother her on her socials or to her face or any of that) and she’s referenced taylor about twice in seven years.  kaylors look for any reason to drag her name in the mud but when they say she’s “signalling” about taylor by...wearing a shirt?  simply posting to IG the same day as taylor? it’s just stupid and makes us look insane and pins unfair “clout chasing” negativity on someone who’s just not doing that.  she has her own life and her own shit going on.  99.99% of what she does has nothing to do with taylor.  it’s one thing to wonder if something might have to do with swiftgron but that assured sense of  ‘if i see something, something must be there’ that i spoke of earlier in the post just makes it all so toxic and unfun.

i can’t tell people how to act though and kays are gonna kay but i really hate that they know nothing about dianna and refuse to learn anything about her or the timeline to understand the most likely nature of her rs with taylor (no the red breakup songs are not about her) but still drag her name through the mud.

[cyndalyssa]

Disney Marathon Commentary: The Silver Age

A compilation of various jokes and observations during our marathon of the entire Disney Animated Canon over the past year. No movie was safe from being poked fun at, and while I couldn’t get all the jokes, I did gather the ones that stuck out by the time each movie finished. This is all in good fun, and we like most of the movies.

Participants were me (A2), @knighta3​ (A3), and @angelfishcake​ (A4). Most of the time, I’m being vague about who said what, though I get specific in a couple cases. 

Today, we come back to the full-length animated features, covering the rest of the movies that were made during the rest of Walt Disney’s life. We got a bunch of classics here, and also a bunch of snark. 

Cinderella

~ Cinderella is me in the morning when my alarm goes off.

~ We love the local aspiring grandfather, The King.

~ *discussion about the Fairy Godmother’s relation to the Blue Fairy*

~ *theorizing that the rest of the Kingdom doesn’t like the Tremaines*

~ “It’s the Headless Horsemen!” “No, they have heads.”

~ Everyone makes fun of the Prince for trying to find her based on shoe size, but it wasn’t his idea.

~ “My old enemy…

 STAIRS.”

~ Conspiracy theory, Anastasia is the Russian princess of the same name and was kidnapped as a child by Lady Tremaine

Alice in Wonderland

~ This jumped into the um, “plot”, rather quickly. 

~ Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are squeaky toys. 

~ The White Rabbit is the only sane citizen of Wonderland. 

~ She’s not a freakin’ weed you piece of crap flowers!

~ Oh, look, the caterpillar was actually helpful. 

~ The “painting the roses red” scene is the only one with some line of logic.

~ Yo,

 Is that José ?

~ There’s nonsense, and then there’s being rude, and nearly everyone in Wonderland is the latter.

Peter Pan

~ Wendy’s getting her own room? Oh, the horror!

~ This shot of Peter’s face looks so evil.

~ Geez, Wendy, making the moves on a boy you just met!

~ “I’m Mary Poppins, y’all!”

~ “That is one of the funniest casual murders I’ve ever seen.”

~ “All hands on deck! We’re gonna shoot a kid!” “There’s a flock of them, we gotta hit at least one!”

~ Every scene with the Indians is uncomfortable to watch.

~ The Chief’s mouth moves so weird…

~ I really wonder why all these girls like Peter, he’s kind of a jerk.

~ They all want free tattoos!

~ Wendy, it wasn’t “wonderful”, I legit just saw you have a terrible time in Neverland.

Lady and the Tramp

~ This is such accurate puppy behavior. 

~ “Meanwhile, on the other side of the tracks…”

~ “Mmm, yep, I just woke up… what a day!”

~ “Oh no.”

~ “I don’t like this lady.” “She’s a Karen.” “She is!”

~ Plot twist, it’s the rooster that’s shooting them. 

~ The dog pound scene is worse than those humanitarian commercials. 

~ This rat is a surprisingly scary Disney villain. 

Sleeping Beauty

~ “Oh, look, it’s the three of us.”

~ “Do you not understand the concept of growing up?! This isn’t Neverland!”

~ Don’t follow strange voices, you might get captured by the fae. 

~ “Yep, they’re definitely you two.”

~ Since the raven was hit by the magic spewing from the chimney, it would have been funny if he had been colored a splattered blue-and-pink mess for the rest of the scene. Imagine Maleficent’s reaction if he had come back to the castle like that.

~ “I think the kings are a little drunk.” “Psht, lightweights.” “Well, that guy is a lighter weight.”

~ And Prince Phillip gets captured by the fae.

~ *fumbles over the word “Gargoyles” and it comes out “GARGLES”*

~ “It’s a demonic ritual.” “No, it’s a barbecue.” “Eh, same thing.”

~ *argument over whether Maleficent’s bird is a crow or not*

~ People don’t talk about the fairies enough, they’re more the main characters of this movie than the title character.

~ “Maleficent, the final boss!” “Guess this is a video game now.”

~ “She said a bad word!” “Jiminy Cricket said worse.”

One Hundred and One Dalmatians

~ Roger here acting like it’s his wife having a baby

~ When Pongo turned off the TV, the guy in the commercial looked startled just before he disappeared.

~ Cruella has a devil phone

~ All these dogs are good dogs

~ In this house we stan the Colonel, Sergeant Tibbs, and the Captain

~ This poor man has no idea why this lady is going all road rage on him

~ *the three of us die laughing at the implications of “Oh, Pongo, you old rascal!”* 

The Sword in the Stone

~ “This guy looks like the Stabbington Brothers from Tangled.”

~ *A4 keeps cooing over the unfortunate wolf*

~ Just use magic to fix up your loft!

~ This boy is discount Cinderella

~ “How many people are in this castle?” *sister proceeds to count each character that shows up or is mentioned, including the ever offscreen Hobbs; there’s not very many*

~ This is sexual harassment! 

~ Hey, the owl’s giving him some actual education!

~ Honestly, Merlin’s not very helpful, no matter how much Arthur claims he is.

~ This isn’t a plot, this is just random animal shenanigans stringed together and calling it “education”. What exactly is Arthur learning that’ll help him when he’s king?

~ The sword was only relevant for the last five minutes. 

The Jungle Book

~ EVIL WINNIE THE POOH

~ STONER ELEPHANT

~ Bagheera, no, every time you leave, something bad happens!

~ Musical numbers are trouble or at least invite it.

~ *guess what song we start singing*

~ “I’ve only known Mowgli for half a day, but if anything happened to him I’d kill everyone in this jungle and then myself.”

~ The elephants are the ones behind deforestation!

~ “Shere Khan reminds me of Count Dooku and I’m not sure why.”

~ “I like these vultures. They’re friends.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Next Time: The Bronze Era / Disney’s Dark Age)

[plasticflowering]

A Unifying Theory of Loreography (Lore + Choreography)

(2/3/21) HELLO to all new folks finding this post! It is also now a YouTube Video, and I’m pretty happy with it so if you’d rather get your lore analysis visually please check it out! 

Preface: I don’t think it’s just coincidence that we got full choreography for an intro called “Devil is in the detail”, and I’ve made it my mission since 반박불가 dropped to pull apart the threads that might link everything, lore-wise. This morning I believe I had an epiphany about it, so here are my thoughts.

If this flops I will feel my soul exiting my body so please validate me.

Notes: In forming this theory I mostly considered the events of the storyline MVs and teasers as well as the choreography, but a very important part of my epiphanies came when considering the post-MV stingers for TBONTB and 반박불가. It’s using these stingers that I feel like I can better understand the thesis statements in the choreo. 

Part One: Now then, where were we? 

At the end of TBONTB, the monarchs are approaching monumental, pitch-black gates made of skulls and desperate, reaching hands. 

I can’t not interpret this as the gates of Tartarus, considering the Greek mythology in the canon lore already. Tartarus, however, is at the lowest depths of the underworld, and so my interpretation is that, while they reclaimed their souls from the necklace, they awoke physically in a realm beyond the underworld, and now have to make their way out of this psychological nightmare to breathe free the air, as it were. Through Tartarus, through Hell, this is not because I played 80 hours of Hades in the last three months but it might have a little to do with that. Stay with me. (Though if anyone is wondering, YES Leedo would be Zagreus, but that’s not why we’re here today)

Part Two: Devil is in the Detail 

What an opening formation. The imagery is not 100% clear to me, but I feel as if this entire opening formation sequence is dual-wielding imagery of a crown (much like the killing part of TBONTB), but also the gates of Tartarus. 

Look at this transition once Hwanwoong ascends to the top of the formation, and how the hands all come out, similar to the gates above. I’ll be damned if this is supposed to invoke anything else.

Rewinding a bit, this framing of Seoho being resuscitated and borne by their hands is stunning. Seoho’s journey in the TBONTB choreography merits its own post entirely, because there are a lot of moments that seem to be telling a story for him particularly, and this is just a continuation of that. 

Ravn and Leedo being separated for the rap line part seems like an obvious utilitarian choice, and I agree that it is. However, before we prepare to dismiss all “pairings” as serving the progression of the song itself, I have another theory that ties together a lot of the inciting moments of choreo. I promise you this is going to sound like A Reach, but that’s just how my mind works and if you enjoy it I’m glad.

Leedo, Hwanwoong, and Xion are the monarchs who have absolved themselves by the events of 반박불가, and fully reclaimed their souls as well as their conscience. Seoho and Ravn, not so much. They have a lot of work to do to free their conscience - especially Seoho. Oh, lord, especially Seoho. Keonhee is an extremely interesting case, as he seems to have a foot firmly in both sides, More on that later. 

For further paranoid conspiracy theorist proof of this, please note that their outfits in the choreography videos symbolically reflect this:

Light, Light, Light/Dark, Dark, Dark/Lightish, Light

If you need more convincing, may I point out that Leedo, Hwanwoong, and Xion are the only members who got those wonderful “all clothed in white” shots in the back half of the 반박불가 MV? I tried to make a gif, and I did make a gif, but Tumblr doesn’t want to post it in this text post.

(you rn)

The most interesting moments of loreography in DiitD are the following: 

1. These lotus hands. Again, the imagery, I die!! Keonhee is coming into his own, his character is blooming, expanding his consciousness, going sicko mode with the realization that he has power in the underworld. 

2. Directly following this, Seoho offers a hand to Keonhee and literally drags him down (again, the light/dark dichotomy of Keonhee), while the two good good boys Hwanwoong and Xion are back there just trying to maintain balance so they can get through this Hell/Tartarus thing. 

3. Good ol’ ONEUS Summoning Circle, but wait this time I think it’s actually meaningful beyond the imagery. Seoho is at the center because he has the vocal line, yeah obviously, but he stays there much longer than is objectively necessary without a formation change. This isn’t common in ONEUS choreography. As much as they love their Summoning Circles, they tend to move on to other formations quickly. This one has meat on its bones, and I think what’s happening here, loreography wise, are the other monarchs banding together in an attempt to save Seoho from the darkness. But Seoho is powerfully dark, y’all, even going so far as to overpower them in the moment above. 

4. This is flame imagery. Seoho has been engulfed in flames despite everyone’s best efforts. 

5. At the last minute, he gets yeeted via backflip back into Hell/Tartarus

6. Keonhee takes the initiative in going back for him...

7. We’re back in Hell, that’s just great. Thanks, Seoho. You’re lucky we love you and your extremely disturbed conscience. 

With this in mind, you can probably get way ahead of me, here. 

Part Three: 반박불가 

Perhaps not remarkably, the title track doesn’t have nearly as many loreography beats as DiitD. However, we know it’s part of the lore, and this was made abundantly clear simply with that opening move...

This is where we left off TBONTB, but not exactly. There is a slightly different formation of dancers here, which suggests it’s not picking up exactly where TBONTB left off, but rather that this is a cue to let casual fans know, explicitly: yes, this is a continuation of the TBONTB story. 

Some moments don’t have choreography allusions, but they are loud in the MV, such as:

- “Youngjo, would you stop playing with flowers, our lead vocalist is going to Hell.” Ravn, who barely scraped out of Hell last time, ostensibly with Leedo’s help according to the rap line break in the choreography, has a rough time of it in the 반박불가 MV, but Hwanwoong isn’t going to let him fall back into toxic behaviors and lose himself to that psychological prison again. Hwanwoong drags Ravn back out of Hell, but not before Ravn successfully makes contact with Seoho. Obviously, Ravn would be the one to make contact, because Ravn’s still a little on edge about his own conscience and can easily backslide if he wants to. Who does he find down there? Seoho.

- Keonhee, who led the charge to return to Hell, is staying on task but seems to be the chief of operations to Hwanwoong’s chief of intelligence here, exercising his newfound sicko mode. Those two are certainly working hardest at keeping the servants of darkness in check down in the depths so they can make a quick break for it. 

- Leedo’s actually having a grand time fighting his own demons - or rather, smirking at them and realizing that nah, he’s good. He can use his guilt and regret to motivate him towrd good things now. 

- Xion is literally just above all of this and can move between Hell and Earth with ease, so he’s just waiting to see if he has to pull any Fallen God-Prince cards here to save his friends. 

Now, for the key loregraphy moments. It’s obvious that 1Million was choreographing for a new direction in the ONEUS style, here, so it’s nearly bereft of the usual lyricism and formations, but they’re definitely there. Unsurprisingly they almost all deal with Seoho. 

1. God, this moment whips. They’re all working to free Seoho and lock the gates behind them, with Keonhee giving Seoho one final push. That’s not a normal choreography move. That is storytelling and it sticks out like a beautiful sore thumb with an entire sonnet written on it. 

2. With Seoho on lock, now Ravn may break out. He does so rather easily, but it’s not without Hwanwoong’s help. Please notice that Keonhee and Seoho are the two BEHIND him, and what that symbolizes. 

3. This fucking bridge. It’s amazing with the loreography. First of all we have Keonhee, and the Summoning Circle is using the same imagery/texture that was formerly used to represent engulfing fire. Uh-oh.

4. Keonhee reaches out...

... but gets dragged under.

5. (excited football commentator voice) but who’s that on the outside making it to the surface, literally with the support of the other monarchs? IT’S SEOHO (cheers)!!

And Seoho finishes things out in the center, as well he should because he got us into this mess.

Part Four: What just happened to Keonhee

I’m so angry at this post-MV stinger. It took me forever to wrap my brain around what is being suggested here, because I thought “hey wait, the red lighting represents darkness/hell, doesn’t it?? DOESN’T IT?? RBW???? I thought we just GOT OUT OF HELL????

So I leave the final interpretation in everyone's individual hands, but the thought that occurred to me today was: 

What if this entire scenario was a test of resolve and camaraderie, an illusion, a trick by the Devil (or that donger Helios, whatever). What if Keonhee was the only one who saw through this, and the only one who genuinely made it to Earth at the moment he appeared to have been dragged back to Hell? Because, as we know, Keonhee is a tactical genius, a monarch among the monarchs, and all his visual imagery in the MV suggested a sort of power cabal. 

What if he realized that they weren’t all strong enough to face the challenge of breaking this cycle, so he schemed to leave them behind, but leave them safe in the illusion, while he struck out with the power of God and anime on his side.

I... I think Keonhee is about to go kill and dethrone a God, y’all. 

[greenninjagal-blog]

15 Anxceit?

Y’all really out here asking for that angst, aren’t you. Do you guys know the last time I wrote Hurt/Comfort? It’s been Eons. I’m rusty. 

Summary: Virgil gets kidnapped. 

Words: 2604

Quick Taglist: @chelsvans @faithfulcat111 @felicianoromano @holliberries @jemthebookworm @killerfangirl3 @silverflame-wc @stricken-with-clairvoyancy @thenaiads @treasureofpriam

Read on Ao3 || My General Writing Masterlist || Prompt page

Keep Breathing

“I’m sorry, I know it hurts, but you have to trust me, Okay?” The voice says over the phone. “You hear me, Love? Virgil?”

Virgil can hear him. He can hear him so clearly it hurts worse than the throbbing in the back of his head, or the bruising on his ribs, or the knife wound in his shoulder. Virgil can’t remember the last time words had cut so cleanly through the crackling air like a blade all on their own.

He shouldn’t have been surprised though. Given who was speaking. Dee always did have that way with languages, slipping his tongue around foreign syllables and phrases and lulling Virgil to sleep on restless nights with just his voice, a book, and fingers treading through his hair.

“I’m going to get you out of there,” Dee tells him, in perfect English. “I promise.”

Virgil exhales shakily, just one breath away from sobbing. There so many things he wants to say, but they all get caught up in the lump in his throat.

He wants to scream, but he knows where that will get him, knows what that would do to Dee. He wants to cry and beg and curl up in a ball where nothing can touch him, but the first two haven’t done anything in the past endless hours, and the last one has been made impossible by the way his arms were zip tied behind his back and around the pole. He squeezes his eyes closed and tries to pretend like the voice of Dee over the phone is him really just sitting next to Virgil on the bed talking him out of a panic induced spiral.

“Just breathe for me, Liebing,” Dee says. “Just breathe. I’ll get you out of there.”

Virgil inhales sharply. “I-- I know,” He manages with a wet laugh. “I kn-now you will. And I-- I’ll kill you m-myself for this.” 

He thinks Dee nearly laughs, one of those wet, terrible laughs of his that only came out when he was nearing his breaking point, but the phone is pulled away from his ear at that moment. He strains after it in a panic, but his captor give him a sharp kick  to the side and Virgil falls back against the pole, with his shoulder screaming in pain.

“There,” The criminal says, “Proof of Life, Mr. Ekans. Your lovely fiancee is still breathing, although if you don’t follow my orders exactly, he won’t be for much longer.”

Virgil thinks if he wasn’t so terrified out of his mind, he might have found that funny. Dee? Following someone else’s orders? Ever since Virgil had met him in Third grade Dee had avoided rules like the plague. When he had disappeared after highschool, Virgil had thought that Dee had gone off and died somewhere in a ditch, but he had returned just seven years later, with that same smirk and that spark in his eyes like he knew everything Virgil was thinking in any moment.

They hadn’t been friends, but they had been acquaintances. Once or twice they had been lab partners in Chemistry, and they had nodded to each other in the halls.

It was ridiculous that Virgil hadn’t even noticed how much he missed that normalcy, that routine, that quiet interaction, until the day before Graduation when Dee had invoked a Senior Skip Day and Virgil had ghosted between classes without seeing him at all. It was even more ridiculous that Virgil had turned that sad feeling over in his chest a billion times and realized somewhere north of 3:24 A.M. that he had had a crush on Dante Ethan Ekans for three years based just on nods in the hallways and that one time Dee had offered him part of a sandwich when the school lunch had looked particularly terrible. 

Then Dee hadn’t shown up to Graduation. Or the last day of school.

Virgil had found out the week after from gossip in a friend group that Dee had packed up his bags and gone for a journey to find himself with no returning ETA. 

And again, Virgil hadn’t been friends with him so it hadn’t made sense that he felt angry not to have been told this directly. But the weight of that realization had crushed his tentative heart where it was in his chest. 

There had been other boys, because seven years is a long time and boys were pretty, but they had never worked out. They had asked too much of him, or expected something different, or loved too brashly. At the end of each relationship Virgil had found himself lying on his bed wondering what had happened to the brunette boy with the nearly yellow eyes who once helped him light a Bunsen Burner. 

Virgil had gone to college. He had gotten a BA in Culinary Arts, with an emphasis on Baking and Pastries, which literally no one had seen coming, including himself. He had gotten a lease and opened up a bakery three counties from where he grew up and sent his mother danishes on the weekends when he couldn’t visit. 

Then two months later, Dee had walked right into his bakery like he had never left. Virgil had nearly dropped a pan of muffins at the sight of him. That smile was the same, and those eyes, and habit of picking at his nails when he was nervous. But he had yellow highlights in his hair and a tattoo of a snake on his back and three scars over his knuckles.

“You might not remember me,” Dee had said as if Virgil had ever been able to forget him, “But we went to high school together and I...I’ve traveled all over the world and still think you are the most amazing thing in it.”

And Virgil had remembered why he had fallen for Dee in the first place all over again.

When Dee had asked Virgil to marry him four years later, he hadn’t hesitated to say yes.

Because it had been Dee, and Dee had chosen to stay in that town with Virgil, had chosen to pick up a business job, had chosen to to go on several dates with Virgil, had chosen to stay through every fit and fight and argument, had chosen to get down on one knee and offer Virgil that ring that was on a necklace around his neck right now.

Dee had also casually forgotten to mention that he was freaking loaded until the moment that Virgil had been walking out of his bakery nearly dead on his feet last night and someone had swung a crowbar directly into the back of his head.

“And I’m not sure I need to remind you what will happen if you call the police,” Virgil’s captor says airily, “But I will anyway--”

Without warning the man turns back to Virgil and swings his heel directly into Virgil’s wounded shoulder. Agony rips through Virgil’s entire being, drowning out all of his thoughts until all there was left was a burning, blazing pain and his own screams. Tears streamed down his face, choking him as he wrestled against the bindings in an attempt to curl around the injury. His vision turns white and black like TV static and his sobs echo throughout the empty warehouse like they were mocking him.

Faintly, he thinks he can hear Dee’s voice.

Faintly, he registers the captor over him, is delighting in Virgil’s pain.

Faintly, he recalls the price the man just put on Virgil’s life, and that Dee didn’t hesitate to agree to it.

The criminal over him ends the call with a click of a button, and Virgil whimpers. His shoulder feels like someone was holding an open flame to it, his wrists burn where the zip tie are latched far too tightly to his skin.

“Hmm,” the man says softly, “I can’t say I see what he sees in you.” He reaches down and holds Virgil by the jaw, turning his head from side to side to examine him, as if he’s a piece of meat for sale. Virgil’s skin burns coldly at the touch, like its frostbite threatening to take over his whole body and kill him on the spot.

“Liebing,” His captor says, teasingly. His free hand shifts to his pocket and he brings out that switchblade again-- Virgil tenses to get away from it, even with his shoulder weeping lava. With a shri-ckk the metallic knife slips out, still streaked with crimson where it had been lodged in Virgil’s shoulder earlier when he had talked back too much.

The man uses the blade to lift a piece of Virgil’s sweat matted hair from his face. It’s close, too close, and Virgil’s lungs beg for air he doesn’t dare give them.

“P-please,” He chokes.

“P-please,” The man mimics, with a cruel smile. “Your future husband seemed to be in an awful hurry to get you back. He has twenty hours; I wonder how much fun the two of us can have while we wait.” 

Virgil squeezes his eyes closed, trying not to shake. The knife tip boops his nose and the man laughs releasing him easily. In another moment Virgil hears the sound of tape ripping and feels the sudden force of his mouth being covered.

“Shhhh,” The man says, using his thumb to rub away a stream of Virgil’s tears.

Virgil doesn’t dare open his eyes until he hears those footsteps retreat all the way across the warehouse and the door opens and closes as the man leaves him alone.

Virgil twists his wrists again, but it only succeeds in turning his hands into a sticky sweltering mess and his shoulder whines in pain again. He grunts through the duct tape hanging his head to his chest.

Dee promised him he’d be okay. Dee didn’t make empty promises. He lied sometimes, like he lied when he called in sick to work that time that Virgil took off and they spent the entire day cuddling and watching conspiracy theories on TV, or that time that Virgil’s baby cousin Ed’s hamster died and Dee had told him it had gone on a perilous journey to defeat a dragon that was too dangerous to take Ed with him, or that time that they had gone for dinner at Virgil’s parents and Dee had told his mother that the potatoes were the best that he had ever had while shoveling it into a napkin under the table.

Dee lied, but he did not make empty promises. 

He promised Virgil he wasn’t going to leave again and then he got a job in office building; he promised Virgil to find that one brand of chocolate Virgil liked even though he had to go to eleven different stores to find it; he promised him that they would leave that business dinner party the second that Virgil got uncomfortable, even if that was only twenty three minutes in; he promised him that one day they were gonna get married on a beach with the sea salt dusting their tuxes as they said “I do”.

So if he said that Virgil is going to be okay, Virgil is going to be okay.

Virgil doesn’t know what to do if he doesn’t cling to that pathetic hope.

A flicker of shadow draws Virgil’s attention, and his head snaps up, preparing to...to...protect himself from whatever he could. Instead his breath stutters to a halt.

The shadow is a figure on the roof, someone who is slim but fit and easily opens the glass pane to lower themselves inside. The shadow is a figure who manages to slip from the catwalks to the warehouse floor in barely a minute.

The shadow is a man who kneels beside Virgil and peered at him behind square glasses, “My name is Logan Ackroyd. I’m here to escort you out of this situation, but first I must know where your captor went.” The shadow is a very real person and Virgil can’t tear his eyes from the yellow bold letters F.B.I. on his jacket. 

“Mr. Storm,” Logan says sternly, like Virgil is back in school and one snarky comment away from getting detention again. “Please quietly look in the direction where your captor went.”

Virgil’s eyes flicker to the far door, his breath noticeably short and reckless and violent. With every inhale he feels like he’s getting less and less oxygen in his body. 

“Prince,” The FBI agent says into a comm, “He’s at the North Entrance.” Then he swiftly moves around Virgil to his hands. Virgil can’t help but flinch at the motion, drawing a nauseating screech of pain from himself.

“Apologies,” Logan says, “I am going to cut you loose. Please refrain from moving unnecessarily. There’s a medical team on standby. I can see your shoulder wound, but are there any other locations that will require immediate attention?”

Virgil lets out another sob, a relieved sob as he shakes his head. Or possibly doesn’t. He doesn’t know if its even noticeable from how the rest of his body is vibrating like all his atoms are slowly pulling him apart.

“I’m going to do a breathing exercise, Mr. Storm. Can you please breathe with me while I count?” Logan says calmly again. Virgil’s head spins at how calm he is when there’s nothing calming about this situation. Still the counting is even and steady, flowing over Virgil like the sound of a timer while he’s working in the kitchen. When he closes his eyes, he can even pretend its Dee counting for him, whispering praises when he manages to hold his breath for that endless seven seconds.

“It’s going to be okay.” Logan says, as he cuts through the zip tie and picks his way under Virgil’s uninjured arm. He peels off the duct tap to make it easier to breathe and Virgil falls against him without meaning to.

He’s breathing. Like Dee told him to do. Just keep breathing.

The next thing he knows there are police and FBI all over the place. There’s a several medics that come rushing to them, who help guide Logan and him outside to a standing ambulance. The noise is loud and quiet at the same time: like a screaming match drowned out by the buzzing in Virgil’s head.

He tries to focus on Dee, what Dee said to him, what Dee has said before: all those times he asked Virgil what new language he should try on Duolingo , all those times Dee tried teaching Virgil new phrases over romantic TV dinners and store bought wine, all those times that Dee idly said how much he loved him in the middle of a conversation with no prompting. 

Just keep breathing. Dee had said.

“Virgil!” 

The voice is a strike of lightning in the swirling madness around him. Virgil hiccups a sob and suddenly Dee is right there in front of him, pushing Logan out of the way to get closer to him.

“Virgil,” Dee says again gently taking his face in both his hands. There are tears in his eyes and his mouth spouts out words like a waterfall, “Virgil, Liebing, Love, Angel, Darling, my Sun, my Soul,--”

Virgil lets out a wail and flings himself into Dee’s arms, completely ignoring the medics and the burning of his shoulder, because this was Dee and Dee was...

Dee was safety. He was everything.

“Its okay,” Dee sobs with one hand in Virgil’s hair and the other warped around his waist holding him as close as they can get.

And Virgil believes him.

[kookieskiwi]

Hi kookieskiwi Im a fan of your works 💜💜. Is the request open? If it is a yes can I request Idol Au + "Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?". Im sorry this is first time I ask request. If it is not burden you can I ask more request? Sorry for being awkward 😭

(Thank you for being a fan 🥺 and requests are always open with me ❤️ don’t be sorry at all, me myself I’ve never asked for a request bc I’m too nervous so you’re braver than myself 💜 writing what y’all want is never a burden to me, it may take a few days but I will ALWAYS do it, and you aren’t awkward at all. In fact your really cute lol ☺️🌱) (there’s not that much dialogue in here but I think it’s okay)

Song mentioned is Human by Christina Perry

-

Being an idol wasn’t easy especially for a foreigner like yourself. You had to fight tremendously hard for your place and even then you weren’t widely accepted amongst other idols. When you signed with BigHit 12 years ago you had spent six of those years in training in order to make it in this cruel world of perfection.

The hate started when you had first debuted under the company which was right around when BTS was rising in fame all over the world. Before that you had gotten some media coverage but the only claims were that you were a makeup artist or staff member. But when it was announced that you were among a solo debut as the first female artist under their company things went two ways. There were people who supported you from the beginning and then there were those who absolutely despised you. BTS and a majority of their fans were part of the long list which included other idol groups and their fan bases.

What confused you the most was the fact that you had done absolutely nothing to any of them, you hadn’t even come out to say anything about yourself. You hadn’t given them a reason to hate you but they still found the smallest things to make you break down. The BTS members themselves wouldn’t speak to you but they’d glare at you, leave the room if you entered or refuse to enter if you were there.

It hurt but the hate only became more of a reason for you to push yourself and make them see who you really were. When BTS hit their peak of success their actions towards you has simmered down, they were simply too busy to care anymore. However there were idols and idol groups that absolutely loved you like: TXT, IU, Mamamoo, Eric Nam, Amber Liu, Taemin, Sunmi and KARD.

Not being completely hated and alone gave you a better feeling but the hate still got to you. Over the years you had grown your own fan base and gotten support from many companies that asked you to model for them. You weren’t as famous as BTS and you knew you’d never be but you were inching closer which they ans everyone else saw.

Bang PD was your number one supporter throughout the whole thing although he mentioned nothing to BTS to stop their anger towards you. That was completely fine with you, you were all adults and you could handle things on your own.

You grew your career by being your true self when even when the cameras were pointed at you. At your concerts you always made sure there was indifference between your fans. You’d proudly bring out a pride flag to spend a portion of your concerts thanking all those who were part of the community or being brave. The first time you had done that media outlets raced to ask you why you did, many claimed it to be an act for clout but you set those rumors straight very quickly.

“No, I’m not like other idols who want clout. I’m perfectly fine with losing or gaining fans with my actions no matter what they may be. I brought out the Pride Flag because in the world there is so much debate about love, sexual orientation and gender equality. Love isn’t a political debate it’s a human emotion, a pure one at that which I believe should be expressed however it may be and whoever it may be with. I will never discriminate anyone based on their personal decisions, you do you boo. It’s your body, your life so it must be your choice how you live it.” You answered matter of factly shocking everyone in the room including the interviewer and crew.

Since then you’ve had many more supporters and you’ve even used half of the concert funds to donate to several different charities for minorities of all kinds whether it be race, sexuality or victims of anything. A week ago you had won ‘Best Breakthrough Artist’ ‘Activist of the Year’ and ‘Inspiring Artist Award’ at the MAMA. You had also performed a solo song which you had been saving to slap ever Jeon in the face metaphorically.

Your song ‘Human’ which you preformed hit the top of the charts worldwide. It was about everyone who doubted you, who hated you for no reason, to everyone who was now your fan.

-

The next day you were back in your studio hard at work ignoring all the news articles, twitter feeds and conspiracy theories about you. Your new album which featured ‘Human’ was set to be released in a month so you were finishing up some last minute vocals and tracks before you headed over to the dance studio to practice your choreography.

Suddenly a knock at your studio door drew you from the depths of your focus. “Come in.” You said in a monotone reverting your focus back to the screen in front of you. You could hear the door open followed by several sets of footsteps before the door clicking closed shortly after.

“Y/n.” The the voice called, at the recognition of who the owner of that deep, sophisticated voice you froze instantly in fear. Slowly you turned to face him only to see all seven of them standing before you in your large studio. They were dressed casually but not slobby in stylish outfits mainly from designer brands so I guess it was the sloppiest you could get with Gucci on.

“What- what are you guys doing here?” You asked cautiously trying to avoid eye contact with all of them but it seemed to be getting harder and harder the longer they stood there. “We were about to get lunch and we were wondering if you wanted to come along?” Hoseok asked stumbling over his words slightly. You tilted your head in utter confusion, was this a joke? You’d never spoke to them much less eaten with them. “Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?” You questioned narrowing your eyes in suspicion at their actions. Why now? Was it because of your song? Did they finally get the massage after all these years?

“We- we wanted to apologize for how we’ve treated you. It was unprofessional and childish to do what we did and we cannot be sorry enough.” Jin explained bowing head in sorrow making the rest follow in suit. They were what now? Apologizing!? Your head spun a million miles an hour trying to come up with a valid response to their sudden apology.

“I have to agree, I gave you and all the other’s no reason to hate me. I never understood why or what I had done and I’m not going to lie, you guys were totally assholes.” You smiled at the end of your statement before continuing, “when your fans saw your dislike for me they too started hating me which took a toll on me. But the past is in the past, I’ll be willing to start over if you explain to them why you did it and that you came to me, not the other way around.”

“Oh my, y/n of course we will. I, we, are so sorry about everything and the truth is, we were terrified that you’d get the fame we had worked for since you signed under this company. It was an irrational fear that we shouldn’t have assumed from you, we are so sorry.” Taehyung said opening his arms hopefully. You smiled arising from your chair to enter his arms, the feeling you had longed for for so long was finally felt. One by one the others joined the hug, Jimin having to pull Yoongi in since he was still standing on the sidelines. It felt so nice to finally have a burden let off your chest, you knew why they did it and you could see why too. You would’ve done it too, maybe not for that long and not to the extreme, but you would’ve done it.

“I forgave you guys the second you entered my studio.”

[makeste]

killing is not so easy as the innocent believe

or, some follow-up thoughts on Hawks, and chapter 265.

you guys this chapter has got people in some kind of way though. myself included lol.

it’s never a good thing when I get an ask like this on a Wednesday. and SURE ENOUGH, lmao. hang in there anon we’re in this together.

I love how all three of these asks seem to be implying that Hawks is basically toast. death certificate all but signed and notarized. which is reasonable to be fair!

regarding Machia though, after giving it some thought, the fact that he was mentioned when he didn’t have to be leads me to believe that Fatgum is correct, and he will not be making an appearance. it’s possible this is just the manga attempting to catch us off guard, but if Horikoshi wanted to do that, he could have just as easily bided his time and made no mention of him at all until he suddenly came barging out of his hidden basement room at an inopportune moment. going out of his way to say “hey remember Gigantomachia? yes well he is in sleep mode at the moment so not to worry” is kind of a waste of time unless it really is true. could be wrong on this though!

regarding the voice recorder/communication/mystery device thing, I now have a brand new ridiculous theory on that thanks to a chat with @blessedgirthma​, but more on that shortly. 

now then, let’s talk a bit more (or, to be honest, a lot more) about Hawks.

lol y’all I am being called out. but in seriousness, this is honestly one of my favorite things about doing the recaps though. the fact that my reactions are recorded for posterity for better or worse. the thing is, when I’m actually reading the chapter for the first time, it’s a complete rollercoaster lol. it’s just whiplash reactions to stuff (which is why 90% of it is dumb jokes because that is my honest instinctive reaction to 90% of everything) and speculating wildly on the spot. and a lot of times it is way off.

one of the things that particularly impressed me about this latest chapter is the fact that Horikoshi was genuinely able to manipulate my emotions so effectively and make me so anxious about the fates of both of these characters in the heat of the moment. not every writer can do that! in fact it’s pretty rare for a shounen manga in particular to actually get me to really start doubting and wondering whether a character is actually going to die. because let’s be real guys, it’s a rarity. especially with this particular series. and even when people do die, they come back as OFA ghosts, or they’re brought back to life as Kurogiri, or they never died to begin with and they’re currently trying to kill Hawks, etc. so on top of the shounen manga tropes, we also have comic book “no one is ever truly dead” tropes. so yeah.

so the point I’m leading up to here is that I don’t think Hawks is actually going to die. I know it’s ridiculous; I know he was just set on fire and isn’t looking too hot (ha) right now, but again. it’s a shounen manga. other characters have survived (1) breaking their arms a dozen times, (2) having holes of all shapes and sizes pierced through their lungs, (3) everything All Might and AFO did to each other at Kamino jesus christ, (4) having their entrails spilled out, (5) being crushed by a water tower, (6) pissing Todoroki off during the climax of Heroes Rising, (6) being blown up from the inside out by a quirk, and (7) having their eye sliced open and being blasted through a building and falling fifty feet from the sky onto the hood of a car while on fire. and this is far from an exhaustive list. this is an off-the-top-of-my-head list. yeah. so neither Hawks nor Twice is actually dying if this is anything to go by.

now then. I said I was going to talk about Hawks, so let’s talk. first off, I just want to make it clear that I’m not part of the pro-Hawks faction, or the pro-Villains faction, or whatever. I’m in neither of those factions, or both of them. or whatever you want to call it. basically I love Twice and I love Dabi and I love Hawks. and recent events have not changed this at all, except perhaps to make me love them even more. but anyway, just wanted to put that on the record. and yes, I told Dabi to set Hawks on fire, and I would say it again too, because Dabi setting Hawks on fire potentially saved both Hawks and Twice, so yeah. homicidal though it may have been, it was good timing all the same, Dabi.

so Hawks! let’s talk about what actually happened in this chapter. “um Hawks tried to kill Twice, is what happened.” well, not quite! what actually happened is that Hawks said he was going to kill Twice. and then... he didn’t.

lol, yeah. eyeroll-inducing technicality there, I know. wishful thinking, naive, willfully disregarding what we actually saw in favor of trying to support my own interpretation of the character. absolutely that’s what it is! but since we all acknowledge that, might as well continue down this line of thinking and see where it leads. so indulge me if you will.

so. three things:

(1) Hawks is a spy. he lies. he lies all the time. when Horikoshi wants us to know what he’s actually thinking, he shows us.

so naturally the reason I bring this up is just to point out the fact that throughout all of chapters 263, 264, and 265, we have not actually seen a single one of Hawks’s thoughts (assuming Caleb is correct in his translation of 264). he’s making speeches, he’s trying to plead his case to Jin, and we see a ton of Jin’s thoughts. but none of Hawks’s. not so much as an ‘I was afraid of this...’ or ‘his quirk is too dangerous, I can’t let a single one of the clones slip through’ or any of your typical run-of-the-mill fight narration we might normally expect to see for a scene like this. there’s nothing. and what this tells me is that Hawks’s words may not in fact line up with what he’s actually thinking.

(2) Hawks is hesitating. we know how fast he is. hell, even if we didn’t, this chapter would be all the evidence we need. but we do in fact have plenty of other evidence.

these things are deadly. each one is solid and we’ve seen he’s capable of using them like bladed weapons. if he wanted to, he could stab Twice through the heart in the blink of an eye. look at the precision he used to tear his mask open (to distinguish the real Twice from the clones) without actually harming him. he wouldn’t even have to move. but he is deliberately holding back and trying to stop Twice in other ways -- by pleading with him (“I don’t want to fight you”), hitting him with a disabling blow, and finally by pinning him down and trying to intimidate him.

but then he just sits there.

saying he has no choice. holding the feather knife above him. but he doesn’t actually do it. and okay, maybe it’s because he truly is fond of Twice, as we know, and so he’s giving him the chance to say his last words or something. but what was it he said just a few pages before this one, though? “we eliminate villains with haste”? I don’t know about you, but I for one sure wasn’t seeing any haste in those last few pages. the man who goes too fast, huh. I’m just saying.

but maybe he was just psyching himself up to do it. maybe he would have gone through with it on the very next page if Dabi hadn’t intervened. maybe. but you know what though? that hesitance -- the fact that he was so conflicted despite supposedly believing that he’s doing the right thing, and despite being groomed by the shadier elements of hero society since childhood to make this precisely kind of decision -- to me, that does indicate that Hawks is not a killer by nature. he’s battling with himself right now. he’s desperate. he doesn’t want to go through with it; he resists the act; and then crucially, right at the decisive moment, Horikoshi prevents us from seeing whether or not he actually would have done it.

(3) and what about that? it’s interesting that this question is one which has come up over and over ever since the disappearance of Best Jeanist, isn’t it? the question of just how far Hawks is actually willing to go. the question of whether or not, when push comes to shove, he will make the cutthroat decision. will Hawks kill for the greater good? Horikoshi poses this question again and again, and yet he still refuses to give us an actual answer.

(oh hey, that’s a nice flashback you’re having. sure would be a shame if it were to... cut off right there so that we never find out what actually happened past this point!!)

(“whether this is really him” -- really?? you actually go and show what is by all accounts and appearances Jeanist’s actual dead body stuffed in a bag, and yet you still cast doubt on it? why? at this point you’re just fucking with us. and also, actually, the fact that it’s a dead body is not, in fact, proof that he killed someone, because morgues exist. and appearance-altering quirks. and clones. and all sorts of other conspiracy-theory-fueling shit. so yeah.)

isn’t that strange? well no, actually, it’s not strange at all, because you only need to take one glance at the fandom (or my own indecisive recaps) to see that this refusal to confirm this one crucial fact about Hawks’s nature is having precisely its intended effect. when you write a story, you want the readers to care. you want them to be invested in what’s happening. you want to keep them in suspense. and so in Hawks’s case, the fact that we just don’t know for sure makes him an insanely compelling character to watch, because will he actually do it?? will he kill Twice?? is he a killer??

and still we don’t know. even now, Horikoshi refuses to lift the veil for certain. and all I have to say about that is this: maybe he is. but if he is, if the answer to this lingering and drawn-out mystery ultimately turns out to be a simple “yes”, then that would be a bit anticlimactic to say the least.

so those are my thoughts! oh, except that I did say I was going to talk about this thing though:

so we don’t know what this is, or why Hawks pulled it out at such a strange moment. I’ve read a few theories, but I have to give @blessedgirthma​ credit because this one is my new favorite omfg:

like. guys. guys. I know it’s absurd and it’s not going to happen lol. but can you just imagine, though. Dabi’s standing there with the crazy eyes, talking about how heroes are all scum, and how he never trusted Hawks, and the fact that Hawks was even willing to kill a fellow hero to gain their trust only to betray them is yet more proof of how hypocritical and disgusting these so-called heroes are. and then, just as he’s about to deal the final blow, HIS OWN CLOTHES TURN ON HIM and he’s all “?!” and IN BURSTS BEST FUCKING JEANIST oh snap, whaaat, HE LIVED, BITCH.

don’t look at me like that. let me have this. all I’m saying is it could happen.

so that’s it! those are all my current thoughts about Hawks and about this contentious chapter which is tearing fandoms and loved ones apart. in my perfect world Hawks lives and Twice lives and Best Jeanist lives and Dabi lives but gets captured maybe so as to have Endeavor angst along with some fucking flashbacks at goddamn last. as of today March 22nd 2020 all of these are still possible outcomes, so I’m gonna embrace it.

and lastly, getting back to the real mystery of this chapter,

WE CAN ONLY HOPE.