#angst but happy ending

[amberjazmyn]

dr spencer reid one shot

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - you look(ed) happier

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - kinda sad, mentions/actions of domestic relationship abuse, but it does get better, single x reid, mentions of maeve

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - with the lyrics of ed sheeran's "happier" we find out the love story/breakup/re-get-together of bau agents dr spencer reid and valencia callahan 

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - i have done this one-shot a couple of times before but i was listening to the song again and i wanted to do it again. i decided to make a spencer reid version with some insta posts and stuff cause imagine the bau having personal instagram and social media accounts.

masterlist

- - -

walking down 29th and park, i saw you in another's arms. 

dr spencer reid couldn't help but feel his heart slightly sinking low into his chest as he noticed his now ex-girlfriend but fellow bau agent walk into the bau in another man's arms as spencer stormed into the conference room to let off some steam just before he and his team would most likely get called for a new case. the worst part of this whole thing for spencer, now that his ex had left him, was that they'd still be working together since neither one of them would ever force the other person to leave their jobs just because they were no longer dating each other but not just that, she decided to bring her new boyfriend to introduce them to the rest of the team. this obviously meant that it wasn't just valencia joining everyoone in the bullpen, her new boyfriend was also going to be with them and having to be introduced to them and spencer since he and valencia were still close friends, not having the heart or the hate in them to drop contact with each other. spencer never hated valencia after the two of them broke up, no way, he couldn't ever hate his childhood best friend and now fellow bau agent, he was honestly grateful that valencia still decided to stay with the bau even though she was no longer with spencer, except, the thing that threw him off was the fact that he had never imagined or prepared himself to see her walk into the bau with another guy.

only a month we've been apart, you look happier. 

the thing though, that hurt spencer over anything else was that this new boyfriend made valencia look so much happier, happier than she ever seemed to be when she was with spencer. derek morgan, one of spencer's fellow agent and closest friend had suddenly noticed why spencer was looking off into the distance, the chigaconian trying to get the nevadian man to leave the conference room - the nevadian whacking derek's hand away, spencer couldn't help but notice something else that he so desperately missed about valencia - her laugh. 

once again, spencer's heart almost closed in on his chest as he watched and heard her laugh. he didn't know what to do, i mean, who would know what to do in this situation? derek certainly didn't know, he felt inexplicably guilty and devastated for his best friend, derek was now dating and in a secure relationship with an e.d nurse, savannah, whereas, spencer had his heart broken because unfortunately, valencia and spencer broke up for reasons that, at the time, seemed appropriate and it seemed like the both of them were on the same page at the time. and, all of a sudden, derek watched as his best friend was devastated over the thought of seeing his ex and his best friend cosying up to another man only after what seemed to be a month after spencer and she had broken up.

saw you walk inside a bar, he said something to make you laugh.  

there was still no set time that the team was going to be called in for a case and it was already 8 in the evening which made it seem like no case was going to be called until the next day. so, that was when valencia, at the idea of her new man, decided to check out some pubs and clubs and if it just happened that the team got called in, the team would get called in. so, spencer watched as valencia and her new beau walked outside of the fbi building and strolled into a nearby bar but, not before the guy made a truly horrendous joke, and it wasn't even a joke that spencer would have found funny or a joke that valencia would have found funny if spencer had said it and matched it with a disappointed face as though she was the embarrassed kid of spencer, but because it was this new man that had said it, it had made valencia laugh out loud. so loud that spencer and derek heard it from their sixth floor in the fbi building as did the rest of the agents on that floor and all the other patrons who were walking past them. both of them, spencer and derek, saw how happy valencia was and it truly devastated both of them, their shoulders sinking to their regular positions as spencer tried to look away.

"...val, i have a joke for you..." the still unidentified new beau of valencia's asked, valencia smiled, nodding her head as the man continued 

"...what would you get if a dinosaur kicked you in the rear end?" he asked, his voice already cracking with laughter and he hadn't even finished the joke - spencer almost puking because he hated how close the guy was to valencia 

"i dunno, what do you get?" valencia sort of laughed, not like an excited or happy laugh but, the laugh spencer would usually hear when he'd try to tell her a joke so, for a second, the boy wonder did have hope that she wouldn't laugh at the guys joke but, that was until he said the punchline of the joke 

"you get a megasoreass!" and just as spencer and derek didn't laugh at the joke, they hoped and prayed valencia wouldn't laugh but, she did, she laughed at the utterly horrendous joke that her date had made 

and she laughed wholeheartedly, with her whole body, her head flying backward as her hand rested on the man's chest and her head then moved to lean on it so she could control herself. 

"oh, that was a kicker! that was actually really funny!" valencia's voice went high-pitched as her voice broke from her laughing fit, wiping away a tear from her eye as the two then walked into the bar

and it was at that moment that spencer knew he really couldn't stand watching those two anymore, even though he still absolutely adored valencia, he knew it wouldn't do him any good if he continued to focus on her when it was clear she had moved on completely whilst he still was hung up on her. 

i saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours yeah, you look happier, you do. 

it wasn't rocket science for anyone to see that spencer knew that valencia's smile was twice as wide as the ones she smiled when she was with spencer and it made him feel sick to his stomach. it hurt the boy wonder terribly to know that possibly, this new boyfriend of valencia's was everything that spencer wasn't and that he couldn't make her happier as this new man did in comparison. spencer's heart felt like it was being crushed and this pain wasn't just a metaphorical pain, oh no, it was such a physical pain that spencer's face started to scrunch up in pain as he would wince occasionally. 

thankfully, it didn't take derek that long to convince spencer that they needed to return back to their desks and away from the open conference room windows so that spencer wasn't putting himself through more pain, especially due to the "fun" that they would be having during their waiting time of whether or not they'd be shipped out to a case tonight. however, spencer couldn't help but wait until valencia and this new boyfriend had gone further away into the bar before he moved so that he could have one last look at her before the slight possibility of him catching eyes with her tonight during the potential of a case briefing.

ain't nobody hurt you like i hurt you, but ain't nobody love you like i do. 

despite the slight privacy that spencer and valencia both had about their lives, not really the type to overshare whilst being in the public eye of the rest of the fbi agents and government officials, they decided to come clean about their breakup to at least their own team. and then, their breakup was announced but it sadly was heard further than just their own small, intimate, family-like team and spread further throughout the other fbi units. and immediately, rumours from the other units like sex crimes and violent crimes units started to come about that spencer and valencia's breakup was "messy" and that one of them cheated on the other one or something completely dramatic like a soap opera. however, that was the furthest from the actual reality of what actually went down and the reason why the two popular and favoured bau agents broke up. they decided, spencer and valencia, that right now it had gotten too dangerous for them to be dating due to how personal the cases in regards to the team had gotten and it felt safer if they weren't romantically linked. and, it was true, all recent cases had no team injuries because there was no way those personal cases could affect the team more than it usually could in a personal way because no one was in a relationship with one of their fellow agents so there was no way they could be targeted. however, even after explaining that to the other fbi units, rumours still flew around the fbi building until aaron hotchner and erin strauss had to shut it down completely because it started to get out of hand.

however, spencer and valencia hated having to constantly repeat themselves and remind people that there was nothing about one of them cheating or anything silly like that and that the reason they broke up was for safety reasons. because, in actuality, the breakup was mutual between the two and it was made clear from the very beginning that if they were going to find someone new, outside of the bau where they wouldn't have their lives further messed with, that it was okay and that the two of them would and are always the best of friends, no matter what. they both meant the world to each other and there was no way they could remove the other from their life. to them, what they said in their own words was that they were each other's right person but it was the wrong time and it broke spencer and valencia's hearts to break up with each other despite how mutual it was and how much safer they both were because of how much they loved and still love each other. the only reason why valencia and spencer broke up was because not only was it for safety reasons but it was also because it was the case of right person for each other but, it wasn't the right time and that was why it was so painful for the both of them.

"...hey, reid, you know that it wasn't either you or valencia's fault as to the reason why you two broke up?" derek spoke softly as he watched, keeping an eye on his still heartbroken friend sulk over watching his ex who was still his best friend, who he still loved dearly, look way happier with the new guy than she ever did with him

"i...i know that rationally, morgan it just, hurts seeing her look so much happier with someone else..." spencer sniffled solemnly, resting his hands on his chin as derek rubbed his best friend's back

"...it does hurt, reid, i know that but, don't forget that, sure val has a new man who won't be targeted by the people we hunt but, she still loves you so much and only wants the best for you. and i think that's why she didn't leave the bau because she knew that if she left even though you guys were no longer going to be together that you'd still rather have her stay and not be together then leave and not be together. of course though, it is really sucky for the whole team to see she's moved on with someone else but, we all have to just look past that and be glad that she's still with us in the team. trust me, from someone who was always seen as a flirt who would never actually take a relationship seriously until i found the one, it'll get better and, who knows, maybe one day, she'll realise that this happy with this guy isn't the happy she wants and, she'll find her way back to you, even if means the two of you are in danger again..." derek smiled softly, trying to convince spencer who just nods his head in response although, it was still quite difficult to believe his best friend

promise that i will not take it personal, baby if you're moving on with someone new. 

spencer promised, basically pinky promised, the day that he and valencia broke up, that he wouldn't take it personally and be that arsehole ex-boyfriend if valencia was to find someone new and move on. he knew that valencia was bound to move on quickly anyway so, he made a promise not to take it personally (as did she) and that just because she's moved on quickly, it doesn't mean that she wasn't grateful or faking any of her feelings towards spencer or acting as though it was nothing. because, honestly, valencia was on cloud nine throughout her whole relationship with spencer, it was just honest to god the fear of them being targeted by unsubs who had a personal connection to them because of their jobs and keeping them safe, not their love or chemistry for one another.

"...wait, you can't be serious...boy wonder and girl wonder broke up?" garcia was devastated at the news that her fellow agents, reid and callahan just gave her and the rest of their team

"yes, we had to, pen. for our safety to make sure that if we ever faced an unsub who had a personal connection to either one of us that they wouldn't target them. we still love each other very much and wish this didn't have to happen but it does and, if it's for our safety and not because we fell out love then, that's the smart thing to do," valencia sighed, a look of morose in her eyes as hotch spoke up

"...if there is anything the team can do for the two of you, reid and callahan, please, let us know and we'll do everything and anything we can to assist you. i'm guessing you've already talked about whether or not one of you is leaving?" hotch questioned, reid and callahan both appreciating the worry and care from their team and unit chief

"thank you, hotch but, right now, i honestly think spence and i just need some alone time and yes, we have both decided to stay since there's no reason why we wouldn't be able to work together even though we're no longer dating one another..." valencia was really taking the speaking role seriously as spencer just nodded his head and looked around the room trying to avoid the teams gaze of pity and sadness

"...of course. and i'm glad you two will be able to continue to work together because you guys are a brilliant team and shouldn't leave us just yet. and, if the rest of the team could follow me and return to your desks to finish paperwork or anything else you need to get done, it's time we leave reid and callahan on their own like they've asked us to," hotch gestures for the team to follow him out of the conference room which they do without needing to be asked twice

after giving hugs to both spencer and valencia, hotch smiles and gives his two best (and youngest) agents a reassuring head-nod before closing the door behind them, giving the two of them some privacy whilst they said their last words about the break-up before they'd have to go back to their friendship they had at the beginning of their time in the unit.

"...spence, do you promise me something?" valencia spoke up after a long pause of silence as spencer nodded his head, lifting it up from the floor as he held valencia's hand tightly

the two twenty-somethings had already been broken up with each other privately but, now, they were still wanting to say some last minute things that they either already said and wanted to say again to make sure it was known to be the truth and not just some lie that was said in the moment to soften the harsh blow of the breakup conversation was. both of them tearing up and getting emotional, it once again became silent as small sniffles and uneven breaths fell through the room as the two agents tired to calm themselves down before continuing the conversation. having to constantly remind themselves that the reason why they broke up wasn't because they weren't in love with each other anymore or because they were never best friends to begin with, it was because it was for their safety and because it was two people who were absolutely right for each other but started their relationship at the wrong time where it was immensly dangerous and could have caused a lot of problems had the unsubs actually dug deep enough into their victims at the behavioural analysis unit. that's all it was, they still love each other but, that was the true, real reason why spencer reid and valencia callahan broke up, it breaking up now was the right thing and the safest thing so they both could stay alive and save their special thing and then find out later on that it was safer for them to continue their relationship again then that's what they were going to do because they didn't want to ruin it by continuing to pursue their relationship in a time of utter danger and fear for the entire bau and their romantic relationships.

"always, val, what is it?" spencer finally filled in the silence, sniffling softly as valencia's hand ghosts over spencer's as they could tell, even with the shutters in the conference room shut and the door closed, they could tell their team members were trying to figure out what they were talking about - almost nothing could be hidden or a secret when you're a member of the bau that's for sure

that was until spencer and valencia could hear their team getting told off by hotch for eavesdropping and told the main perps, derek, jj and penelope, to be put in lockdown in penelope's bat cave away from everyone and where they couldn't hear spencer and valencia's conversation. thankfully, emily prentiss and david rossi weren't that much of eavesdroppers but were very concerned about their two youngest agents and did wait for them to come out of the conference room after their private conversation to check on them, not at all asking for what their private conversation entailed.

"promise me that if i do move on with someone new who most likely won't get targeted by any unsubs and isn't with the fbi, you won't take it personally and hate me for it?" valencia only gulped as she kept her eyes focused on spencer and his reactions as spencer nodded his head, his eyes whilst glistening with tears were also genuine

"yes, i promise. i love you too much to hate you," spencer choked out in a whisper, more tears building in his eyes as he breathed in, asking valencia a question

"can you promise me something?" spencer whispered back, clearing his throat as valencia nodded her head, her hand touching spencer's as they kept eye contact with each other

"of course, always, what is it?" valencia questioned softly, only wishing she and spencer didn't have to do this all over again but knew they had to

"am...well, are we still best friends? even if you may date someone else after me?" it was this question that broke spencer's heart to say as finally, a tear rolls down his cheek as he closes his eyes, valencia breathing deeply so she wouldn't cry her tears as she wipes spencer's tear away, glad that hotch had forced the rest of the team out

smiling softly with a head nod, valencia responded, "of course, we're still gonna be best friends, spence! i've known you my whole life, i could never throw away our entire relationship and friendship just because we dated the right people but at the wrong time. i couldn't ever remove you from my life, you're way too special to me, i can't do that and i will never do that..." valencia paused as she wiped away more of spencer's silent tears as he nodded his head, understanding valencia which made her feel better 

"...even if i do end up dating someone else who isn't going to be targeted specifically because we're both agents and if you end up dating someone else, i am always a phone call away or a short drive away if you ever need anything and, i know if i was in a similar situation, you'd be there waiting for me too," valencia smiled and spencer nodded his head as his lip trembled, another single tear slipping down his cheek as he giggled in embarrassment, wiping it away himself 

spencer and valencia talked for a couple more minutes and decided that the things they co-owned in each other's apartments were not to be moved no matter what and that they could always count on one another. along with another crying session and huge hug to comfort one another, with some tissues that they hadn't realised at the beginning that hotch had placed on the table before the team left, they both cleaned themselves up and walked back to their little desk spaces and continued working. and only then, when spencer and valencia returned to their desk spaces were derek and jj allowed to emerge from penelope's bat cave... and also forced to apologise to reid and callahan for trying to eavesdrop into the conversation, as did penelope but she didn't need to be forced, it just slipped out because she panicked and felt awful for potentially betraying their trust over something that maybe in time they'd tell their team as to what they told each other. but all was forgiven with a small sleepover at penelope's at the end of the day since it had gotten to late for the team to get called to a case so it would be managed the next morning.

'cause baby you look happier, you do, my friends told me one day, i'll feel it too. 

it still seemed impossible for spencer to get it out of his head that valencia seemed to look happier with her new boyfriend after the break-up and honestly, whilst he was proud of her, it still hurt and was a hard thing to just shake off. it honestly did sort of scare spencer that he thought that he was maybe getting replaced and that maybe, he was actually losing his best friend when it was considered that he still didn't know what this new boyfriend was like in relation to knowing about boy-best friends for his girlfriends. 

"oi, reid, we need to get ready, hotch has finally called for wheels up in fifteen, when we see valencia stay calm, okay?" derek announces to spencer, patting his shoulder as the boy wonder nods his head, his satchel go-bag hanging around his body 

"yes, morgan, i understand, i'm not a five-year-old!" spencer, with a sassy attitude, rolls his eyes as he chuckles, making derek smile at the attitude and eye-roll 

"i know, reid, forgive me but, i just don't want you getting hurt, that's all!" derek suddenly went serious as spencer smiled and pulled his best friend in for a hug 

"thanks, morgan, i do appreciate it," spencer smiled into his best friend's shoulder and derek smiled too, exhaling slightly as he pats his best friend on the back 

"no worries, buddy. i know how much you and valencia loved and still love each other. it is hard when a couple like you two, that are the right couple, break up due to it being the wrong time," derek smiles softly, the two men pulling out of the hug as they started to hear the commotion of penelope and rossi arguing over whether it's ethical to put tofu in pasta in the conference room

and until then i'll smile to hide the truth, but i know i was happier with you. 

all that was left for spencer and his team to do in regards to getting ready for the case was being briefed on the case by penelope and hotch and then set off to the jet strip so they could travel to their location of the case. with a small sound of apology for being late, valencia and her man had rushed in slightly late and, it was clear the reason why and it was because of the bar down the road. which was so unlike valencia that hotch ignored it but kept a watchful eye on her new unidentified beau just in case valencia was manipulated to just about inebriate herself before jetting off for a case.

derek and the rest of the team had to force themselves to not jump in excitement as spencer turned around, a smile on his face as rushed over to valencia to give her a hug since valencia had just come back from having some vaction time. the former boyfriend and girlfriend are now just staring at each other in awe. it had felt like years had gone by since valencia had seen spencer when really it was a couple of weeks to a month, not even? pretty much as soon as they broke up, hotch reminded valencia of her vaction time off to visit her family in hawaii and on that very same day, the next flight, valencia left for hawaii. and it was during this vaction back home to hawaii that valencia and her new boyfriend had met, he was a nursing student at the hospital that valencia frequented for it was the hospital her ill-ridden mother was hospitalised in and honestly, it still felt strange to her that when she introduced her boyfriend to people, she wasn't saying spencer.

"spence!" valencia finally opened her mouth, spencer's name falling off her tongue effortlessly as if she never stopped saying it, spencer's face lighting up at seeing his best friend, her new boyfriend giving not just the best friend's a strange look but his girlfriend's entire workplace and bau team a strange look that spencer managed to catch from the corner of his eye

"hey val! how are you, how was hawaii and seeing your family? i've missed you so much!" spencer spoke excitedly, the excitement of valencia constrasted far differently to the case they were about to leave for but was welcomed for just a small bit of happiness before seeing pure darkness for the next few days as spencer pulls his best friend in for a hug

placing her softly back to the ground, valencia responded, "i'm fantastic thanks spence, hawaii was great, family's great and it seems like mom's medical trial is working! how have you been? were you able to go back to las vegas to visit your mom at all? it's been like, what, a few weeks since we last saw each other since i just up and left for hawaii for vaction whilst we should have techncially been working a case?" the girl asked with a slight laugh in her breath as spencer nodded his head, a small giggle leaving his mouth as well

"yeah...wow, it's been a long few weeks, that's crazy...oh and, no, unfortunately i didn't get to see mom this time but i did get to have a chat with her carers and they seem to think that she's doing good as well. and, that's amazing that your mom's trial seems to be working too. i just hope the next step is for her to be discharged from the hospital and back with your family..." spencer spoke with a small whisper towards the end as he noticed the way valencia tried to grab her boyfriend but wasn't able to as he had suddenly and silently left the bau conference room without a word of acknowledgement of where it was he had left off to in the huge bau and further fbi building

"...oh and, by...by the way, that was my boyfriend matteo..." valencia tried to smile but, it was obvious that spencer and the other profilers could see through it but decided against the profiling questions for now

"...well, that's nice, val. how...how long have you two been together for, if you don't mind me asking?" spencer spoke softly, with hesitation as valencia tilted her head in confusion - was it three weeks or four weeks as it surely hadn't been for the whole time she was back home in hawaii

also, the team just stood back in silence and just watched even though they should very much be on the jet right now and on their way to los angeles, california for their case that was more or likely going to turn time sensitive soon.

"uhh...i...i think three weeks? so, not that long..." valencia shyly smiles as spencer nodded his head as hotch gestured for this conversation to continue on the way to the jet and for penelope to go into her batcave and present the case from there as they travelled to their destination

hearing that valencia and matteo had only been together for less than a month was comforting to spencer because it meant whilst she had moved on, it wasn't straight away which was his biggest fear. so it comforted him to know that the love of his life and best friend didn't move on the second they broke up.

"oh, okay, that's nice, val. he treats you well i'm assuming?" spencer questioned as the two of them moved quite briskly towards the jet strip to the private jet when valencia suddenly came nervous as she still had no idea where her boyfriend had gotten himself into in the fbi building cause he noticed how many more floors there were than just level 6: behavioural analysis unit

"uh...well, yeah i guess he does. i mean, he makes me laugh a lot, i guess..." valencia stammered, her voice shaky and sounding unsure which confused spencer as earlier, nothing looked as though it was wrong or out of sorts

as they settled onto the plane, awaiting penelope's presentation of the case, spencer whispered, "...you guess? val...is matteo hurt--"

"--hello my fine and furry friends--"

"--matteo?" how on earth did matteo find himself in penelope's bat cave of all places on level six? penelope was just as confused as her team who gave wide-eyed stares at matteo who stood behind penelope as she continued presenting the case

"ignoring italian stallion over here, today's case has you guys travelling to sunny los angeles, california except it isn't sunny but rather bloody and gloomy... over the last week and a half, lapd have been getting constant phone calls about killings of a very specific type of victim every saturday afternoon at exactly 13:00pm..."

"...and before you ask, the victims are blonde, blue-eyed, attractive college-aged girls who were all found in dark, trashed alleyways behind trashbins with deep lacerations, burn marks and branding marks all around their bodies. the lacerations are horizontal on the arms, vertical on the legs, the burns are present everywhere else where there are no lacerations and the brand marks are across their left collarbones... there were five of them..." penelope has a look of distaste on her face after showing her team mates the high graphic and gruesome images as the team all squirm in their plane seats - but just before penelope could continue, matteo speaks up

"--hey, sweetcheeks, valencia, could you introduce me to your coworkers please?" matteo suddenly takes over penelope's system as valencia wishes she'd be swallowed into a black hole as her whole team looks pissed off but confused

"not now, please, matteo, isn't it obvious i'm working?!" valencia raises her voice which was easy to profile to her team that it wasn't the first time that matteo tried to interject himself into valencia's work life

"fine, besides, there's nothing really interesting in this room anyway. but don't forget to remind everyone in la that you have a boyfriend, his name is matteo and that he's oh so attractive," matteo sounded like a middle schooler as everyone cringed as matteo escorted himself out of penelope's batcave as everyone all released a breath they had no idea they were all collectively holding - valencia included

"oh my...i...i am so sorry guys. i...i had no idea matteo was going to do that when i suggested i invite him to come to the bau with me before the case. he came with me because i wanted to introduce you guys to him...i had no idea he even knew where to find penelope's batcave let alone follow her into it but, like he's already said...everyone's that's my boyfriend matteo la costa and he works as a nursing student at a local community college hospital in downtown virginia..." valencia apologised, her face burning red with embarrassment as no one told her off or scolded her for her boyfriend's stupid actions as penelope quickly got back on track with the case presentation

"...sorry to do this but bringing you guys all back to the cali killings, not only were the girls all blondes, blue-eyed, extremely attractive and attending college, they were all attending the same college and they all hung out in the same circle of friends...." penelope mentions with her usual disgusted attitude as reid speaks up

"...that means we're likely dealing with someone who also goes to the same college as the girls and could be someone who was ignored by the girls or was shunned away from the group of friends maybe and has come back for revenge in the most sadistic way because just texting them off-handed mean comments or teasing them out during college classes is too tame and not enough for the unsub?" reid suggested as valencia and everyone else nodded in possibility of that being the theory

"that or, it's a jealous boyfriend/girlfriend who was rejected by one of the girls in the circle and is now determined to take out all the girls until he can really hit big time money with the girl who originally rejected him by killing her friends off meaning that it's easier to get to the grand finale, his final victim because he's taken out all of her friends along the way to get to her?" valencia theorised and, honestly, that theory was just as brilliant as reid's as hotch spoke up

"garcia, you mentioned they were all burnt, given lacerations and branded but did you get the cod by the medical examiner?" hotch spoke up, flipping down the case file he held in his lap as penelope shook her head, a look of apology in her eyes

"no, i didn't good sir hotch. but, if it's needed, i can by all means speed up the process with some good bribes and a deal of lollies and unlimited love from the behavioural analysis unit forever?" penelope joked which got some stifles of laughter as hotch nodded his head

"thank you garcia, do that and find everything else you can in regards to separate info on the girls since we know how well they are connected to each other, we need to know about these girls independently, whether they ever spent time away from the group and if anyone else they made contact with could be in potentional danger," hotch stated and penelope nodded her head

"faster than a donkey on a leash, later nerds!" penelope signs out as the team go back to brainstorming more information about the case

after brainstorming a little more and another two interruptions from valencia's boyfriend, matteo, his excuse being he missed her and wanted to make sure she was safe even though they were still on their flight to california, they started to figure out more possibilities and hotch split his team up into twos and threes. spencer and valencia went to the coroner to figure out if they could figure out the cod any faster than penelope could whilst rossi and morgan went to the crime scenes and emily, jj and hotch went to the lapd to interview the families of the victims and start victimology and a geographical profile.

fast forwarding three days later, it seemed as if valencia's initial theory was correct. the unsub, twenty-one-year-old college student becka johnson and her boyfriend connor freehly had abducted the girls, twenty-year-old lisa lloyd, nineteen-year-old sallie hawkins, twenty-one-year-old spencer romanov, twenty-two-year-old abigail romanov and twenty-three-year-old jaqueline reynolds. thankfully, just before the unsubs could capture and murder the sixth girl in the ten-strong friend group, who wasn't even the main girl they were trying to kill, twenty-year-old lyla smith, the bau and lapd moved in on them just before they could kill and caught them. spencer and valencia arrested and read becka johnson and connor freehly's miranda rights before not so kindly shoving them into the police vans before running back over to help lyla since the rest of the team hadn't arrived just yet. untying the poor girl from the ropes that caused the ligature burn marks on all the victims wrists, relieved lyla of that pain before she could have endured even more pain or even death. all because her and her group had the girl in the group that rejected the advances of becka and connor, all because they were both bisexual and wanted a third partner for their polyamorous relationship and reacted in anger and murder when they were told no and that the person they asked was very much straight, in a commited relationship and felt very personally uncomfortable about a poly relationship. which, in all fairness, should have been totally fine and didn't need five innocent young girls and nearly a sixth one to be killed when the person rejecting the unsubs was respectful, kind and didn't show any hate or homophobia or predijuce in regards to their response to their question.

a couple hours later and the bau were back on their private jet back home to quantico and, the one person everyone didn't want to see after that stupid fiassco that happened on the flight over to california, matteo, was waiting for the team and valencia on the air strip. groaning, everyone, including valencia, only hoped that this time, matteo would try to insert himself into his girlfriend's important job and her very long and strenuous job. why did she and spencer agree to the break-up, actually? the best part of dating another fbi agent was that they wouldn't ever try to insert themselves into your job because it was the same job as their partners. whereas, a downside to dating someone who isn't in law enforcement but specifically fbi, that person would always try to self-insert themselves into the job because it was seen as "far more exciting" and "soul-enriching job" than their "boring, blase job" back at home was. thankfully though, it seemed as though matteo, just like the team, was drop-dead exhausted and just wanted to pick up his girlfriend and safely take her back to her apartment and maybe stay with her to make sure she stayed safe after the case.

even though she wasn't too keen on it, valencia took a deep breath and wandered over to matteo and allowed him to hug her since it had been a couple of days since they had last communicated and seen one another.

"hey baby, you catch the killer?" matteo muttered, valencia mumbling a "yup" as matteo wanted no further information which slightly threw her off wack as when she and spencer were together, it never mattered if they were working in the same trio or duo, they still debriefed about the case at the end of it, whether it was on the drive home or on their couch or bed at home, they always unloaded and debriefed about their case

just as matteo was about to drag valencia to their car to go home, valencia decided that now was the best option to finally and physically, face-to-face, introduce her boyfriend to her team rather than just leaving an introduction to whatever his introduction was on the plane ride to california.

since no one had actually made plans to move their feet from their positions on the ground, it didn't take much convincing for valencia to formally introduce her team to her boyfriend, "hey guys, i know we're all about to leave to go back home but, i thought i'd just finally formally introduce you to my boyfriend, matteo!" valencia smiled, trying to hide her nerves as everyone smiled and waved back as matteo only just had energy to return back the gesture

taking that as his cue, matteo introduced himself again, "hey guys, i'm matteo, i'm really sorry for how i acted when you guys were on the jet. it was very inappropriate and inconsiderate because you guys were working and i shouldn't have self-inserted myself into valencia's job..." ok, wow, this is the most apologetic and genuine he's sounded the entire time since they had met him - the team still cautious but stepped forward and individually introduced themselves

"hi, matteo," they all responded at the same time, slightly shocking matteo as his expression doesn't change, all of them coming forward indivdually to shake his hand, though none of them even wanted to associate themselves with the guy, even hotch and rossi

"i'm jj but you can call me jennifer,"

"i'm emily,"

"i'm penelope,"

"derek,"

"i'm david,"

"i'm spencer,"

"and i'm aaron, remember sonny jim, if you try anything to hurt our valencia, don't forget that we are fbi agents and it wouldn't be too difficult for us to notice when something's fishy, alright? take care of valencia, she's our girl too," aaron finished up the introductions which seemed to intimidate matteo which truthfully humoured the team, valencia included as matteo nodded his head before rushing off to the car

and without stopping to give his girlfriend a kiss, or an i love you or even a simple explanation as to why he had decided to run for it without his girlfriend who had the keys and the car to drive the both of them back to valencia's apartment. and that really made spencer and the rest of the team raise their eyebrows, especially after hotch's threat.

and, it obviously rattled valencia but, she tried to hide it, "umm, yeah, again, that's my boyfriend matteo and i think you may have just scared the living shit out of him, hotch, thanks by the way, now i'll have to deal with him whining all night that he's traumatised and can't fall asleep," valencia said with full sarcasam and little jazz hands as everyone's eyes widened - that little threat traumatised matteo? jesus christ, this guy's meant to be a nursing student and he finds that traumatising?

"o...kay, that was weird. umm, are you alright, val? do you need one of us to walk you back to your car just in case matteo didn't go there but back to the bar you guys were at earlier?" spencer asked, trying not to be too obvious as valencia nodded her head

"could you do that, please? this case really messed with me and i don't think i could deal with walking on my own in the dark..." valencia shivered as spencer nodded his head but, the entire team started to walk with them even though they all parked their cars in different levels of the secure parking garage

"...umm, guys, why are you following me and spence?" valencia chuckled when she noticed the rest of the team followed her and spence

"we don't have places we need to be urgently, callahan. please, let us help you walk to your car safely, it's the first time we've formally met your new boyfriend and we can't be too careful now can we?" hotch spoke up as valencia couldn't argue so she didn't push it any further and appreciated her team more

walking at least a mile more and up a level, they finally made it to valencia's car and, they did not expect to see matteo waiting patiently in front of the hood of her car. they had all genuinely thought he would have strolled back on into that bar and drunk himself silly but, no, he was calmly waiting at the car, seemingly ready to go back to his gf's apartment. but, it wasn't until the rest of the team started walking away when matteo started making conversation with spencer.

"...excuse me...you..you said you were spen-sam, right?" matteo was nervous as he lightly tapped spencer's shoulder as he turned around, valencia, again, wanting a black hole to just swallow her up at her bf's purposeful nature of calling spencer by the wrong name

"no...no, my name isn't sam...it's spencer but, whatever, what's up?" spencer continued even though it annoyed him slightly at matteo's purposeful refusal to correctly say his name

"how...how long did you and valencia date? when me and val first met, before we even started to date, she was telling me about how she's with the fbi and was dating a fellow fbi agent but never said any details like how long you guys dated or why you broke up or anything...and i...i was just wondering how long you guys were together for before you decided to break things off..." okay, no, it was clear at this stage that he hadn't been at his car the whole time, matteo had definitely had some hard beers before stumbling his way back to the car and attempting to sober himself up so it looked like he had been there the entire time

"...oh, umm, we---"

"--how long ago did you meet valencia, matteo?" spencer cut off valencia before she could reveal that information straight away which valencia seemed relieved by

"oh...we..uh, we met around four weeks ago in hawaii during valencia's vaction and mine as well but we'd been talking for a week before we met but we started dating three weeks ago--"

"--so yeah, it's still quite new and it's been interesting as matteo is quite the guy but umm, it's fun!" cutting off matteo, valencia spoke grittedly through her teeth, making her new boyfriend sound anything but amazing just like she could so easily do with spencer, especially considering the relationship was so new and that could have been the reason why valencia was kind of selling her new boyfriend so short, she didn't want to hype him up too early

"okay, okay, not that long but, have you guys said the l word to each other yet?" spencer played up his romantic and excited voice that he'd hear the girls do a lot as matteo awkwardly laughed again, as did valencia as matteo at this point just turned around and hoiked himself up into the car and shut the door - spencer recognising that maybe something wasn't right but, like before, didn't push it further

"well, i...i have said it but, matteo, i think is just waiting for the right moment, ya know? maybe he just isn't ready yet as he did have a bad breakup before meeting me so, yeah..." valencia nodded her head with a smile, hoping to convince herself that she had nothing to worry about as her team also nodded their heads, with some scepticism about matteo - just because you're a profiler, doesn't necesarily mean you're a good liar!

valencia and her team continue to talk a little bit longer before it became obvious that poor old matteo was tired and wanted to sleep. so, they started to farewell one another since it was now way past all of their collective bedtimes and if they didn't leave now, they'd be sleeping in their cars and that wasn't a pretty sight for the rest of the fbi units to wake up to in the morning. hoisting herself into her suv, valencia started up the car and drove out of the parking garage with her now sleeping boyfriend in the passenger seat, en route back to her apartment to get at least an hour or hopefully three of some shut eye before having to be called back in the next morning.

driving back to his own apartment, spencer couldn't help but remember how happy he was with valencia. valencia made spencer so much happier which was what made it tricky for him to understand how someone like matteo made valencia happier than spencer did. to spencer and the rest of the team, it seemed as if matteo was trouble and it worried them sick and they hadn't even known him a full day yet. worried them to the point where they thought that he might be an abusive boyfriend or if not now, will eventually get to that point.

ain't nobody hurt you like i hurt you, but ain't nobody need you like i do. 

throughout the next couple of cases, spencer made sure to keep his eyes on valencia but especially matteo. he had started to get heavily involved in wanting to help valencia and the team to the point where he wasn't showing up to his own workplace at the community college hospital. it was obvious that matteo was becoming jealous of his girlfriend's job and was trying to take over every aspect of not just her worklife but her personal life as well. she couldn't spend time outside of time with matteo, and if she did, it had to be in a public place where matteo could keep tabs on her and could pull her out of the catch-up whenever he saw fit or felt like there was a problem. if anything, matteo was being way more paranoid than any of the fbi agents and bau team were and those guys were highly paranoid and self-aware of their surroundings. but, matteo's paranoia and selfwareness was now getting out of hand and forcing valencia to be isolated, even at work where she'd usually get to escape from her home life and her boyfriend but, nope, not when you're dating matteo de la costa ladies and gentleman! spencer wanted to keep his eyes mainly on valencia as he wanted to make sure he was safe and that matteo had at least at some point relaxed on his paranoia and that he wouldn't try anything sneaky to hurt her. but, it was also because spencer still needs her. spencer still felt like he had so much more to give to valencia, no longer caring if it would be dangerous and potentionally causes a life or death situation, way more than matteo would be able to give anyway. especially considering how matteo just looked like he was bad news when you first make eye contact with the guy.

it was coming towards the end of another long case. an overkill of stabbing and rape case in new jersey and it looked as if everyone could read valencia's mind and her teary eyes and what was to come next.

the case had reminded valencia of the very case that caused her and spencer to break up in the first place. also in new jersey, the team had travelled over there for a completely different case only to be dealing with a stap and a rape case before the unsub, who had a previous connection to valencia, kidnapped her and only just grazed her with their carving knife, not getting the time to fully finish the stap and rape because her team got there just in time to catch the unsub. whilst getting checked out by emt's, valencia rested on the bumper of the ambulance and spencer forced himself to walk over to his girlfriend who was about to have a conversation with the grim reaper but narrowly missed. and it was in that moment that spencer knew that whilst he'd always love valencia for now and forever, he couldn't risk their love and being together if he was always so paranoid of having to watch the love of his life be killed in front of him purely because she's an access point of weakness and vulnerability of spencer to unsubs, particularly the ones he's had prior connections with. on the last few write ups the team had, it looked as though spencer was on the verge of tears if valencia looked closely enough. it broke her heart, she hated the amount of pain she and spencer's break up put on him, even though it was a mutual breakup, that still didn't take away the pain that the both of them felt over it ending.

valencia just wished she never gave it up with spencer, even if it did mean constantly being paranoid that they could lose each other due to an unsub connected to either one of them, even though some part of her loved matteo and she was glad she was dating him, she had been thinking a lot lately of the what if's about her and spencer.

and then suddenly, completely out of nowhere, valencia started crying when she and spencer made eye contact after taking a quick break from writing their reports. spencer wished he hadn't of made valencia cry but, at the same token, he was glad it wasn't him that was crying this time otherwise, he knew how bad that would have made valencia feel. she had then gone to turn around to see if matteo had any tissues since, even through paperwork and reports, he was inserting himself into his girlfriend's job but, found out that no one was next to her and he was nowhere to be seen.

for a moment, it freaked her out, not knowing where her boyfriend had gone but, thankfully, spencer came to her rescue and handed her a tissue before going back to his desk and his report. valencia was now back to thinking about whether or not it was a smart idea to bring matteo and tell him about her job since he was now taking over her job and it also got her thinking about if she really did love him or if he actually loved her. or, if he was like spencer and the rest of the team thought, was just an abuser and a troublemaker.

i know there's others that deserve you but darling i am still in love with you. 

it didn't take rocket science for the rest of the team to figure out why valencia was crying and that spencer was focusing too much on valencia whilst still knowing he was still head over heels in love with her. whilst it was obvious to valencia and his teammates, it was shockingly something that matteo never noticed, skimming right over his head due to his own paranoia and self-awareness, he had no idea at the way spencer paid more attention to valencia. even though spencer knew that there were others that deserved valencia like he promised her, he still found it difficult to comprehend that she did move on because at the time they made that promise, they were both unaware of how quickly valencia would move on after the breakup.

and finally, at just after midnight, all of the team had finished their paperwork and had all offered, once again, to walk valencia down to her car where they once again, saw a slightly hungover matteo waiting at the hood of the car. it was moments like these that it became clear to valencia that maybe, falling in love with matteo was bad news...dangerous even. however, she still desperately tried hard to hide the newfound fear that arose in her as matteo's paranoia would cause him to be mean and very heavyhanded.

*

but i guess you look happier, you do. my friends told me one day i'll feel it too. 

but, just before valencia stepped into her car where matteo was waiting, she stepped back out of the car and walked the step destination to spencer. during that moment, matteo too stepped out of the car, seeming like there was an important conversation he needed to have with his girlfriend as valencia and spencer continued to walk further towards spencer's car, creating some distance between them and matteo.

"...val, can i please...have a second just to speak to you? it's serious and it can't really wait--"

skidding to a halt, valencia turned around to face her boyfriend, her face red as heavy breaths left her mouth, "--oh, sorry matteo but, i need to have a chat with spence about some work related stuff that's confidential and not for you to hear. we'll be very quick, i promise, can we talk about this another night? we can talk later, i promise!" valencia quickly interjected as, to be honest, she was wanting to speak to spencer to get away from matteo who rolled his eyes before standing down and walking back over to valencia's car

"oh, darling, of course, you can! go, have your chat with spencer, i'll just be over at the car, okay? i love you, princess!" matteo smiled, giving valencia a kiss making her squeal that he finally told her he loved her - okay, maybe he wasn't so bad after all and she ran like a little kid as she and spencer locked eyes again

"thanks, matteo! i love youuu!" valencia squeals out as she then jogs back over and sees spencer outside of his car, the two of them locking eyes 

as music from both cars started playing through their opened windows, valencia pulled spencer in for a hug before pulling away, "hey..." valencia trailed off as she giggled as spencer held her tightly, the both of them slipping behind the car as he spins the both of them around in a circle, something they hadn't done since their split

"...hi," spencer whispered back before in another short breath, whispered, "you know, i've missed doing cases with you without matteo being involved in them," he whispered again, softly placing valencia back on the ground as she giggled softly, lifting her head up, placing a loose strand of hair behind her ear

"i have as well...and, oh my god, you did amazing during that case! you figured out all the puzzle pieces so goddamn quickly, i could barely keep up with you! oh, also, matteo told me as well that he thought you guys did a great job as well..." it was obvious to spencer that valencia was lying - again, just because you're an amazing profiler, doesn't make you a good liar!

but that didn't make spencer mad, it made him worry as there were little tells that she started to do whenever she mentioned matteo and it was a lie. and, all of this hesitation and lying from valencia made spencer suspicious and think that maybe it was because valencia's scared of matteo but was at the same time so blinded by her love and infatuation for him that she finds her hesitation and lies when she's around him or speaking about him to be normal. seeing this and now after constantly being around matteo since first meeting him, this was now also scaring spencer as much as it was potentially scaring valencia.

"oh, thank you, valencia! i'm so glad that both you and matteo thought that! wait, where did he go, wasn't he just waiting in your car..."spencer asked in confusion as valencia turned to notice that he was right, matteo was no longer in her suv and due to how dark it was since it was way after midnight, it was scary not knowing where her boyfriend was

"...oh, umm, i don't know but it doesn't matter because it just gives us a longer time to chat to each other without him being the background just watching," valencia smiles, her nerves going away as spencer felt sick in his stomach

"okay cool, umm, because it's so cold, do...do you wanna sit in my car for a bit until matteo comes back?" spencer's skin started to crawl, why was matteo acting so shady and possessive over valencia

"can we please?" valencia asked as spencer wasted no more time in unlocking his car as the two of them entered his car and sat together and waited for matteo to return back to valencia's car as spencer tried not to think too much of the situation as once again, like his friends said, one day, spencer would feel the same joy that valencia's found with matteo and that one day soon, spencer is also going to move on

i could smile to hide the truth but i know i was happier with you. 

it was around one am when matteo finally came staggering out of the pub across the street from the fbi building and back to valencia's car. which meant that it was hometime and valencia was once again stuck with matteo being hungover and very unpredictable and began to touch her inappropriately. but, just like spencer had been doing the entire time, valencia was smiling to hide away the truth of how she truly felt. obviously, because he was still there, and spencer didn't want to leave first until valencia and matteo did, matteo joined the last part of their conversation. and it was uncomfortable, for both spencer and valencia because matteo was being blunt, rude, possessive, hungover but he was also trying to cover it up and justifying it by saying he was just being protective of his girlfriend.

"...so, sam, you dated valencia for a brief period of time, how long was it?" matteo, once again called spencer by the wrong name as he asked in a sloppy tone of voice which grossed out valencia and spencer, she had never seen matteo be so crude but assumed it was due to the alcohol and because he was curious since it wasn't the first time he had asked

fighting the urge to roll his eyes, spencer sighed, "it's spencer and yes, i did, valencia and i dated for three years, three months and three days..." the boy wonder corrected the inebriated man as he smiled a small smile, hoping that his feelings were being hidden away and not so obvious

"...hmm...three years...three months...and three days...is...is that what i have to beat baby doll?" matteo slurred as she started to nonconsensually kiss valencia's neck as she nervously gulped, trying to grab his face to get him to stop as spencer watched on in anger and worry

"yes matteo, three years, three months and three days and, i won't lie when i say those three years, three months and three days were bloody fucking fantastic. it was just the worry and a safety thing because of our job that killed us so it was the right person wrong time so i have no idea, maybe you and i could get to three years or even beat it, matteo. however, we are still yet to get to a month so, be patient darling okay, be patient!" valencia spoke with a slight tone in her voice as she smiled, trying her hardest to act all lovey-dovey around him when she was uncomfortable, especially with the few drinks he was influenced by

"mmmkay babyy..." matteo slurred out again as he started to feel his hands around valencia yet again, the girl laughing uncomfortably, trying to hide the very noticeable fear in her eyes and body language even though she was in love with matteo - noncensensual touching was still not okay if you were dating the person

"i love you, matteo, i really do but, we don't touch me like this when we're around other people, okay? that's for our personal private times, got it?" the girl spoke through gritted teeth again, slapping matteo's hand away as the man started to sober up and nodded his head

"okay baby, let's leave then, we can catch up with your friend/ex-boyfriend tomorrow at work! i still have something i need to tell you, remember?" matteo whispered as valencia nodded her head, whispering back to him asking if she could just say one final goodbye to spencer, nodding his head, matteo released his arms from valencia's waist and waited inside the car

situating himself into the car, matteo didn't argue and allowed the exes to have one final goodbye. valencia smiled again as she went back over to spencer to say her goodbyes since the rest of their team had since long gone by this point. they both smiled as they hugged and chatted a little more. valencia and spencer were finally alone again and valencia just smiled and went on her tippy toes as she pulled him in for a hug.

"thanks for helping me during the case today, spence. i truly thought we'd be going home without any answers or any arrests, i think it was also really good for matteo to see how i work and what my job does and for him to meet you guys. it seems as if he's truly interested but, i'll make sure he doesn't always insert himself into whatever case we're doing so, once again, apologies for that. but yeah, it's nice being back at work with you and the rest of the team and yeah, see you tomorrow, same place, same time..." valencia was about to leave when she paused and turned back around

"...i...umm, i know how hard it was for you to see me with matteo and the fact that i have moved on but, i'll always and i mean always love you spence. those three years, three months and three days we were together were truthfully and honestly the best fucking time ever but, i'm with matteo now and, i am glad you're okay with it..." valencia paused again as spencer nodded his head with a small smile on his face, he truthfully was glad she was happy again even though he did have some slight suspicions about the guy alongside the rest of their team who also had suspicions

"...okay, i really have to go now but, i love you loads spence and, i'll see you tomorrow for the next case that i'm sure is going to be even more gruesome than the last two we've had..." valencia blabbed out as she smiled and kissed spencer's cheek, his cheeks flushing a bright pink as he smiled back, his hand slightly grazing his cheek as valencia walked away to her car  

"...yeah, i...i need to go too and yes, you will see me tomorrow for the next case...i love you more..." spencer trailed off as he grazed his cheek that valencia kissed as he sighed - valencia really was in with matteo, she was really happy with him

baby, you look happier you do, i knew one day you'd fall for someone new. 

one month later, it seemed as if valencia and matteo were still dating... that is, what people who saw valencia's personal instagram account thought that is.

liked by matteodelacosta, drsreid, aaronhotchner, penelopegarcia, derekmorgan, emilyprentiss and 100 others

valenciacallahan just a girl and her mans 🤍

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matteodelacosta love you baby!

drsreid so cute you two!

aaronhotchner you two having a nice vacation?

penelopegarcia oh aren't you guys just cute?

derekmorgan we need you back with us pretty girl! we're struggling without your intelligence, pretty boy's isn't enough!

emilyprentiss you have a tattoo?

however though, as most people are aware, not everything that you see online is real and picture-perfect. recently, matteo and valencia were arguing and fighting like crazy. but it wasn't like valencia had done anything wrong, it was just something that had spiralled out of control after matteo had forced valencia to take yet another vacation during a huge string of difficult cases and arguements that he would start. unfortunately, as spencer and the rest of the team, unfortunately, guessed and suspected would happen, matteo was now dangerous and abusive. matteo was so abusive that he would punch walls, merely inches from missing valencia's face each time.

"...matt...matteo, babe, please...please stop! what...what did i do wrong? just...just tell me and i...i can fix it! just...i...i need to get to work!" valencia squeals out, curling up agaisnt the wall and mere inches from where matteo's hand was close to punching her

"stop talking with and seeing that sam guy! it's him that is causing this trouble! DO YOU NOT SEE THE WAY HE LOOKS AT YOU WHEN YOU ARE TOGETHER?!" matteo suddenly raises his voice which makes valencia mad - how dare he say shit about spencer when spencer hadn't done anything wrong

"matteo de la costa! his name is spencer and he has done nothing wrong. the two of us have been friends since we were children and we work together. yes, he's going to look at me in a certain way because we dated for three bloody years and we're best friends and work colleagues but, i means anything but what you think it means because i'm with you and because i love you...not...hot him..." valencia hesitates towards the end as fear surges through her but, it was too late, matteo was mad and his paranoia all the way up to a hundred

"NO VALENCIA, YOU DON'T LOVE ME! YOU NEVER HAVE AND YOU NEVER WILL! YOU HAVE LOVED SPENCER THIS ENTIRE TIME, YOU TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE YOU'D RATHER BE WITH HIM THAN ME!" matteo screams, throwing another punch at the wall, again merely missing valencia by an inch but valencia smiles at the fact he finally got spencer's name right

"FINE! YOU GOT ME MATTEO! I DO LOVE SPENCER AND I STILL DO, I NEVER STOPPED LOVING HIM BECAUSE THE SAFETY OF US BEING TOGETHER WITH THIS DANGEROUS JOB WAS ALWAYS IN THE WAY. WHICH WAS THE REASON WE BROKE UP IN THE FIRST PLACE, NOT BECAUSE WE STOPPED LOVING EACH OTHER! YES, I ADMIT, I TALK ABOUT SPENCER LIKE I'D RATHER SPEND TIME WITH HIM OVER YOU BECAUSE I WOULD RATHER SPEND MY TIME DOING ANYTHING BUT BE SEEN WITH YOU! YOU CONSTANTLY INTERFER WITH MY JOB WHEN ME AND MY TEAM ARE TRYING TO WORK, YOU ARE CONSTANTLY PARANOID FOR NO REASON BECAUSE YOU'RE MEANT TO BE A NURSING STUDENT IN DOWNTOWN VIGIRINA YET YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO FIND A WAY TO FIND ME WHEREVER IT IS I'M DOING A CASE AND YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO INSERT YOURSELF INTO IT FOR NO REASON! SPENCER HAS ALWAYS TREATED ME RIGHT WHEN WE WERE BEST FRIENDS AND WHEN WE DATED! HE'S THE BEST MAN EVER AND I--" just before valencia could continue or pause to defend herself since she was all dressed and ready for the newest case they had been called in for, matteo went crazy and picked up a glass vase

because, the moment valencia realised that matteo had picked up the glass vase, it was too late. matteo had thrown the glass vase and it had struck valencia in the head, causing her to wobble back, smashing into the wall behind her.

she fell unconscious as she slid from the wall to the ground almost lifelessly, blood pouring from the back of her head, the glass that was on the ground now cutting into her skin, causing even more blood to trickle its way down the unconscious valencia's paling body. matteo didn't even stop to realise what he did wrong in his paranoid state and sprinted out of the house just as spencer was walking in because valencia hadn't shown up to work at the right time after matteo would give him that permission for the sake of keeping his girlfriend happy - not because he liked spencer.

matteo didn't even react to the fact that he had just injured his girlfriend until he heard spencer's voice that he had so very familiarised from the boy wonder and his eyes widened as the nursing student sprinted from the house.

"...matteo? are you alright? have you seen val, she was late for wor...oh my god, valencia!" spencer jolted back slightly as matteo ran past him, hitting the agent on his shoulder, his eyes widening the moment he noticed the scene in front of him

grabbing his phone from his pocket, spencer wasted no second in dialling 911 for an ambulance and police after he sent the code word to his team members after the team had created it for the situation of one of their own being in an abusive relationship, never thinking they'd need to use it, "...no, no, no, val, valencia! ahh, crap....come on, pick up, pick up! please help me!" spencer was hysterical within seconds of the 911 operater picking up his phone call

with all the possible information that was obvious from just the scene in front of him, spencer gave it all to the dispatcher who then sent out the ambulance and police vehicle with lights and sirens flashing and blaring. thanking the female dispatcher, ending the call since he could hear the sirens coming down the street, spencer threw his phone to the ground, the phone just stopping before it fell into one of the few puddles of blood as he then leant his back against the wall where valencia was and picked her up, cradling her in his lap.

she was wearing her typical work uniform, her tight v-neck long sleeve, dress pants, her belt, her gun and fbi credentials clipped to the side of her belt and block high heels. swaying the both of them lightly from side to side, spencer tried to keep the both of them calm and valencia as awake as possible as the sirens halted sound as did the flashing lights, meaning the paramedics and police had arrived but the rest of his team were still on their way.

"...cmon val, it's okay darling. just keep your pretty eyes open, it's spence, you're safe..." spencer whispered in a soft, surprisingly calm tone of voice as valencia suddenly squirmed before calming down from the pain of her injury and the fact that she was safe and it was spencer holding her, matteo nowhere to be found

"what...what happened? did...did matteo hit me?" groggy, valencia attempted to ask what had happened, well wanting to know if what happened did happen and she wasn't dreaming as spencer gave a small smile

"yeah babe, matteo hit you. that and he threw a glass vase at your head which caused you to fall back into the wall...but it's okay, matteo's gone and i'm here and the paramedics and police are just walking in and the rest of our team should be arriving shortly as wel, okay, you're safe," spencer stayed calm as valencia nodded her head as best as she could which made spencer relax a little better

immediately, the paramedics went over to check on valencia, both paramedics and police knowing that she was a federal agent as spencer stood up and slipped behind them so as not to be in the way. he felt tears well in his eyes as he watched his best friend get prodded and poked and sked so many questions that the poor thing could barely keep up with their questions.

"...agent callahan, darling, can you please let us help you? my name is sammy and this is angel, we're paramedics and we are here to help you and to treat your injuries..." sammy, the male paramedic repeated for a second to valencia who was slipping between awake and sleep

"...am i okay? where...where's spence?" valencia panicked, no longer about to see spencer as sammy and angel decided that they needed to work quickly and to keep valencia as repsonive for as long as they possibly could

"valencia, spencer is still here, he's just talking to the police, and yes, you are okay, you've just got a head injury and small non-fatal lacerations scattered across your upper body, arms and legs. your head injury is our biggest concern so, could you please tel us your name and your fbi credentials, even though we already know it?" angel then asks as valencia blinks, thinking for a moment but it seemed as if nothing was registering in her mind other than spencer

"uh...umm...i...my..." the first and second try she doesn't get it but, by the third try, she manages to mumble her name and fbi credentials out

"...val...valencia...my name is valencia, i'm...i'm twenty-four and i'm a supervisory special agent with the fbi's behavourial analysis unit and my...my boyfriend matteo de la costa and i got into an arguement before i was supposed to leave for a new case for work and he...he hit me a couple of times after threatening too and then he...he picked up the glass vase and hit me over the head with it as i then fell back, hitting my head again on the wall..." valencia wangles out as the paramedics and spencer, who was teary-eyed, smiled in shock with widened eyes as they listened to valencia remember every single detail of the accident

spencer could barely deal with the unsubs or random strangers treating valencia with that much disrespect but, it shocked him so much more that it was matteo because he was supposedly in love with her and he trusted matteo to take care of her and he didn't.

"...well done, valencia. thank you for the information..." sammy thanked as valencia smiled in return when sammy's attention went back to angel

"...angel, i think the only thing we can do is just get agent callahan into the ambulance and to the hospital, she is back and forth from consciousness even though she does remember her name, her fbi credentials and what happened, there's still a chance that something bad could happen..." sammy concluded as angel agreed straight away, sammy moving forward and picking up valencia in his arms, carrying her bridal style towards the stretcher as they then proceed to wheel her out to the ambulance

spencer then quickly followed after them into the ambulance, obviously his last thought on the glass shards on the floor and the fact he was covered in his ex-girlfriend/coworkers blood, sammy closed the back of the ambulance before jumping into the front seat, flooring down the street to the nearest hospital as angel and spencer sat in the back with valencia.

"...agent reid, if you could, please let agent hotchner, know that he and the rest of the team needs to meet us at the mary washington hospital, it's the closest one," angel spoke up as she continued to monitor valencia's vitals, spencer nodding his head as he immediately grabs his phone and rings hotch

hotch

"hey, hotch, could you and the team meet valencia and me at mary washington hospital, please instead of valencia's apartment?" 

"of course, you guys safely in the ambulance? what about de la costa?"

"have the police found him?" 

"yes, we're safe and in the ambulance. and, about de la costa, we have no idea. we haven't been given any information regarding the police's search for him. but my guess is he just ran for it because i was entering when he was leaving and it was clear he was leaving in a rush. he legged it when i noticed what had happened and didn't have time to run after him and take care of valencia. i walked in further to see that matteo had hit valencia over the head with a glass vase, she couldn't move out of the way quickly enough it seemed. now, i don't exactly know what they were fighting about since i didn't hear it but, the police did take witness statements from neighbours. all i can say is that they were definitely fighting again."

"again? jesus christ, how many more times are they going to fight and she's not going to do something about it? i feel so awful for her, callahan doesn't deserve this!"

"how far away are you guys from the hospital in the ambulance? myself, morgan and prentiss are five minutes away and rossi, jareau and garcia are about ten minutes away"

"the ambulance is like three minutes away hotch, meet me in waiting room three! the hospital with place her in the icu considering it's a head injury!"

"oh you best be there in three, we'll all be there in two! stay safe and, spencer, stay calm, valencia is a strong girl and matteo, the fucker, is going to pay for this!"

"thank you hotch, i'll see you and the team in waiting room three!"

the call between hotch and reid has been disconnected. 

spencer now felt less agitated knowing that when he got to the hospital, his team were also going to be there as well. knowing he wasn't going to be alone really gave spencer some comfort as he now just had to deal with the thought that the person that he thought loved his best friend and ex-girlfriend would even think to do this to her, not just this once but all the countless other times that he and the team suspected he was abusing her.

from what spencer saw of matteo and heard of him, he could be really kind, funny, enthusiastic, sarcastic, an amazing nursing student, a bit of a jerk and petty when he purposefully would eiter misprounounce of call someone by the wrong name, pretty possessive when drunk and constantly try to self-insert himself into the bau whilst they were working on a case, overall, he was a great guy. sure, as mentioned, he did make some uncomfortable and inexcusable comments when drunk and when he'd insert himself to the bau but, maybe valencia got uncomfortable due to never seeing it before those times it did happen when she first introduced her team to matteo. matteo isn't a bad guy, right...right?

*

a couple of weeks go by since valencia was first brought into the hospital by ambulance when she was starting to regain full consciousness again. after many ct scans and x-rays, it had been ruled out that valencia's memory or head injurt was not a serious concern anymore, she was moved out of the icu and into a regular room on the first floor. all she needed was regular pain medication to stop any internal and external swelling.

the entire time that supervisory special agent valencia callahan was confined to her icu room in the hospital, spencer and the rest of the bau were there also. strauss had been asked to give the rest of their impending cases to other units in the bureau until valencia was released and cleared from the hospital. they never actually wanted to leave due to the heavy risk of matteo coming in and attempting to apologise for what he did so, they never left and the hospital staff and unit section chief erin strauss allowed it. for a while, especially at the beginning of valencia's time at the hospital, just the mention of matteo's name between her team members would make valencia stress out which would then cause trauma to her head injury which was something they were heavily trying to avoid.

valencia was beyond grateful to spencer and the rest of her bau family for never leaving her bedside and staying in her room with her. she was grateful because it made her feel safe in knowing that with her team with her, matteo couldn't get to her and they weren't ever going to leave her side, no matter who she chose to fall in love with or out of love with. even if she only started to realise it now, in a hospital bed as well-respected, well-acclaimed federal agent, in a hospital bed out of the icu that she was with the wrong person.

"...spence..." valencia mumbled, filling out the silence as she had just finished some testing which caused her to be a little drugged and groggy, spencer smiled at hearing his name

"...yeah, what's up, valencia?" spencer responded softly, quickly turning to face her again as he grabbed her hand to hold, making the drowsy agent smile at the connection

"was...were the police actually able to find out what happened? what did matteo and i actually fight about?" valencia questioned, shocking spencer as since the accident, spencer and the team had been quite apprehensive about telling the full story what what matteo did since for some reason, maybe due to a trauma response that spencer would totally knew the ins and outs of, valencia could remember everything else about what happened but the actual fight that led. upto her injuries

and the reason being was that, a couple of days after being transferred to the hospital, spencer recieved a phone call from the police that had been dispatched out on his 911 call and told him that they not only had found and apprehended matteo de la costa but his statement of events lined up basically identically to every single one of the witness statements from the surrounding neighbouring apartments who had heard the two of the them fighting. and, now, valencia wanted to be told? this worried everyone but no one was more worried than spencer himself was.

"val...valencia, are you sure you want me to tell you? what he did was horrific..." spencer trailed off, fighting back his own tears as valencia slowly nodded her head yes

seeing the head nod, spencer breathed in as the rest of the team, even hotch and rossi, braced themselves as spencer was the only one to be given that follow up phone call with the information from the police.

"...please, spence. i...i wanna know and i'm ready, besides, i deserve to know, don't i?" valencia was certain that she wanted to know and she made it clear, spencer nodded his head as he then held his hand out for his best friend to hold, which she reciprocated straight away

"...okay, umm, just to preface this, this is what i was told by the police and what they were told by him and the witnesses that heard it..." however, it seemed as though spencer no longer needed to tell the story since whatever trauma response was blocking valencia from remembering before was gone and she remembered

her eyes widened as she squeezed spencer's hand tighter, "...i...oh my god...i remember what we were fighting over!" she called out, making spencer turn his head up again, in a bit of shock but a little bit glad since that was the one thing the police were a bit iffy about telling him

"what was the fight over, callahan?" hotchner speaks up, spencer not able to as the rest of the team all nervously awaited to hear. it,not expecting to be told what valencia was about to tell them

valencia never imagined she'd be embarrassed saying this but she was, making eye contract with spencer, "it...the fight was over you, spence..." the injured agent then turned her head back down to her hands that rested in the hospital sheets as spencer sat in shock, the fight was over him?

"...it...the fight was over me?" spencer could feel his breathing pick up as valencia nodded her head slowly as she continued the story further, remembering other things that spencer had already been told by the police that the team were hearing for the first time

"mhm, it was because i couldn't stop talking about you and the team to matteo. he...he must have thought i was cheating on him and that we were dating behind his back or something, his paranoia clearly the highest it's ever been and, he...he told me to stop talking about you as he then started to talk crap about you..." valencia paused as spencer's jaw tensed up as he gulped down some saliva that he was almost about to choke on

the rest of the team were listening in pure shock, "....i, of course, defended you, saying you look at me the way you because you did date for three years, we work together and that we are still best friends, so i didn't take any care at how you looked at me as that's how you have always looked at me, even as kids before we dated. i told matteo i loved him, though it was with hesitation and i think that's what made him even madder as that was when he started to yell, saying that i didn't love him and that i...that i still loved you, spence..." the drowsy agent trailed off again as she licked her lips as she continued, spencer lightly caressing her hand in comfort with his thumb

"...and, that...was when i said it. i shouted it actually, telling him that he was correct...i...i do still love you, spence. i *sigh* i never stopped loving you spence, i seriously didn't, even when it became dangerous to keep on loving you. i then explained to matteo that the reason why we broke up was because of our jobs and how dangerous it would have been if we stayed together and the fear of having something bad happening to one of us, not that we didn't love each other and that i talk about you so much because you are incredible spence, you truly are!" once again, valencia paused so she could catch her breath and take a gulp of water before continuing, spencer remaining engaged and listening, the rest of the team in silent shock but slight joy

"i then continued on saying how you always treated me right, not just when we dated but as best friends and work colleagues and, i know i shouldn't have but, it was all i could think to say. and that was what drove him over edge but i just kept on going and kept on egging him on and pushing him by saying how much of an amazing person you are when he just couldn't handle it anymore and...and then he picked up the glass vase and he threw it at me...and i didn't realise he had thrown it until it was too late and bam, it hit me right in the back of the head and i just, fell and slid down the wall, the shards of glass underneath me just cutting into me..." valencia trailed off, most especially after mentioning that she was still in love with spencer, even after she had convinced herself that she had moved on from her best friend and that it was safer to not date him even when she hadn't ever really planned to do that

this quite obviously caught spencer breathless as he tried to form a coherent sentence, "...val...valencia, you...still love me?" he stammered out as the drowsy, medically drugged-up agent nodded her head as her lip quivered

"oh my gosh, spencer, yes! matteo broke my heart, maybe even more than my heart actually and i should have known! spence, this wasn't the first fight matteo and i had had! it was maybe at least the tenth or something crazy stupid like that. those photos of us on my instagram post when we were supposed to be on vaction were taken ages ago which was before i even introduced you guys to him during those cases that he inserted himself into. as soon as the cases started getting longer and more gruesome, causing me to be away from matteo more and more, we had just hit breaking point, matteo and i. it was always, always matteo accusing me of something, never me accusing him because i stupidly trusted and loved him enough to think that he wouldn't hurt me or break my heart because he wouldn't get hurt since he wasn't apart of the fbi. yet i've still ended up in the hospital without even needing to get hurt during a case which is just as worse as getting injured during a case by an unsub. i...i am so sorry i never told you or confirmed your guys' suspicions, i...i was just scared, so scared that matteo would hurt me if he found out i was trying to ask you guys for help or for a way out," valencia trailed off, a small single tear escaping from the corner of her eye to her cheek, spencer wiping it away

and if he breaks your heart like lovers do, just know that i'll be waiting here, for you

spencer and valencia sat in silence with one another just staring at each other, consoling one another and wiping away each other's tears. the team watching on saw the love and infatuation, the same one they always had for each other, spark all over again as if it never faded. valencia never stopped loving spencer, she was just waiting for the right time for them to be safe again so she and spencer could met back up again at the perfect roadblock and start from where they had left off.

and that's actually what they ended up doing and, it was like love at first sight again for the. twoof them. that was, after hotch had given them both permission to date one another again since it was no longer a safety issue for them to date again.

"...i love, valencia, i never stopped loving you..."

"...i love you too, spence, i never stopped loving you either!"

six months later

liked by drsreid, derekmorgan, katerinacallahanvasquez, emilyprentiss, aaronhotchner, penelopegarcia and 100 others

valenciacallahan can someone please tell my sister and brother-in-law to stop copying me and spence's poses please? congratulations to mr and mrs noah and katerina callahan vasquez, spence and i send our love and best wishes for your guys' new marriage 🤍

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drsreid the audacity your sister and brother-in-law have to steal our poses! seriously though, congrats noah and katerina, we love you so much and wish the best for your guys' marriage 🤍

derekmorgan congratulations katerina and noah! i'm so glad that pretty boy and pretty girl got to go back home to be at the wedding!

katerinacallahanvasquez blame the photographer! they chose the pose not us! but thank you sissy, noah and i love you and spencer too! and hopefully, the next wedding is your guys' ;)

emilyprentiss awe, congratulations to katerina and noah! so glad you guys could actually be at their wedding 🤍

aaronhotchner congratulations katerina and noah! glad to see that you and spencer took the vaction days 🤍

penelopegarcia awe, this is gorgeous! congrats to katerina and noah! hopefully the next wedding is you and spencer's, val 🤍

and if he breaks your heart like lovers do, just know that i'll be waiting here, for you and he was waiting there for her and, spencer finally got his girl back safe and sound whilst still able to keep their jobs as fbi agents with the behavioural analysis unit. no longer worrying if they'd be targeted by unsubs with personal vendettas against them.

- - - 

rewriting this for dr spencer reid was so much fun and i kinda wish i continued further but maybe that just calls for a part two ;).

ok ily bye xx

wc; 13455

[starrynight29]

Hello, a post canon fix-it that is basically my show mourning, but with a happy ending bc heck with canon.

‘love the hell out of you’ - ch.1

ao3 link

[imfinereallyy]

you can pry happy endings from my cold-dead hands. It can be the most heart stopping, gut wrenching fic that has every existed and I will read every drop of it if I get my happy ending. I have had enough painful endings in real life, give me happy in my fantasy world. It can be at the last second, it can be a single sentence, even a single word. Give me all the angst and hurt in the world for 500,000 words, but please give me the comfort I need in the ending. please and thank you.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Friendship never dies in FNAF..

[a-b-riddle]

Part Five

Can't stop thinking about the attempt of reconciliation and reader ain't having it. Our girl is going to be wilddddd y'all. Also goodnight. See y'all tomorrow (maybe)

You call Meredith when you get home.

You. Are. Fuming. She's not sure she can ever remember a time you using so many swear words at one time.

How fucking dare them? Immature? You're the immature one? You were the one trying your best to salvage four failing relationship meanwhile none of those assholes could be bothered to try and keep one. They had one person to manage: you.

"I wanna go out this weekend." "Wear something tight and borderline risk indecent exposure."

"You know what I always say," Meredith begins. "The best way to get over someone-"

"is to get under someone else." You finish. You weren't exactly keen on the idea of bringing someone to your bed just yet, but a little attention would do you some good. "I don't want to fuck someone just yet." You admitted. "I'm more on the getting drunk and making out."

"I didn't know we resorted back secondary school heavy petting?" She teased.

"University, Dear." You corrected. "I didn't peak until after I graduated."

"No." She argued. "You didn't put your books down long enough to realize that boys actually wanted to fuck you." You were glad she couldn't see you roll your eyes. "Saturday work for you? I have a late night Friday and won't be up for it."

"That works."

"Sorry." She apologized. "I plan on getting you absolutely smashed so I need to be ready to play the nanny. I know how you love to get drunk and run off."

It was true. You had always found it hilarious when you were drunk to just run. Quite literally run away. It got to a point during university where Meredith would handcuff you to her so you didn't stray.

"I won't run." Your sober mind promised.

"Uh huh." Meredith's tone told you that she knew that was a load of shit. "I'll text Tabs. Let her know the plan."

The next day at the shop was pretty uneventful. No more unexpected visitors. You still had them all blocked. Not caring if now they decided to offer up some bullshit apology.

Months. This had been a steady decline for six months. A text or a simply sorry won't fix this. You weren't sure anything could.

But it didn't matter. You were done and they obviously were too.

You had picked up enough take out to feed a family, but you didn't plan on making your lunch before work or cooking when you got home. The rest of the week you planned on just going through the motions until you could go out Saturday and hopefully get everything out.

You weren't paying attention as you walked down the hallway to your flat. Fishing in your purse for keys. You were at almost at your door when you saw him.

Sitting next to your door was a familiar face. A face you felt you haven't seen in forever.

“What are you doing here, Kyle?" Your voice was flat as you continued to blindly try and find your keys with one hand. Fuck. You really need to clean out your purse...

“My key wouldn’t work.” He explained. "So I’m out here.”

"I'm aware why you're not in my apartment since I changed the locks," you said, trying to keep your irritation at bay. "What I am asking is why did you come here?"

"You won't return any of our messages."

"You're all blocked, so technically I didn't really get any messages." "Besides, you don't get to complain to me about not responding to texts, Kyle Garrick." Your fingers finally wraps around them. God bless. "If you're here for your things, it'll have to wait. I have to sort through everyone's shit and I don't know whose is whose."

"We need to talk." He explains as you put the key into the lock, opening the door.

"Nah," you say scrunching your nose in that way he used to adore. "I'm good. But you can swing by tomorrow and pick up your things if you'd like." You say before trying to shut the door on him. You were stupid in thinking you could be faster than him.

Dammit.

"I know things haven't been good and I've definitely could have been better,'' he admits. "But can you at least try and let us apologize? Let us try and work it out."

"No." You answered, trying to close the door. Not caring if you had to resort to kicking his shins to get him out.

"Why not?" He countered.

“Maybe because I've already tried, Kyle?” You gave up on trying to shut him out. You were strong, but he didn't have any issues in besting you. “Because I actually tried with you. With all of you. You didn’t need to come here giving me excuses about your life being hectic because I’ve made the excuses for you.” You didn't miss how he practically flinched. He had always blamed his busy life. Family. Work. You stopped caring about whatever excuse he gave you and realized it was just that. An excuse. “I’ve been telling myself for months that everything you guys didn’t do for me wasn’t because you didn’t care about me. It was because of the stress of your deployments is the reason none of you tell me when you get back from until it’s time to fuck. I tell myself it’s because of the fucked up situation of me being with all of you that makes it awkward to meet your families. Families you all have that I now know I’m not worthy of meeting.” He wanted to correct you. You were. You were worthy. He was an idiot. “It’s not that I need your excuses to make me feel like what you did was justified. No matter what it was, it was apparently to you because you did it.”

He took a step back, processing everything you had said. He had been selfish. You were the reliable constant in his life. Someone he believed he never disappointed. Someone he couldn't disappoint no matter how many times he fucked up.

You took the opportunity to slam the door. Quickly turning the lock before he had a chance to open it back up.

God...

That felt good.

You had spent that evening collecting their thing in case Kyle did show back up tomorrow. You wouldn't make their lives easier by sorting all their shit and organizing it. Everything. One box. Let them figure it out. You almost had a mind to add a shirt that you knew didn't belong to any of them just to have them argue over it. Or least make them think there was someone else...

You were almost tempted if not for the premise that you wanted them to realize this was their fault. Their fuck up. But now that you were officially all broken up, you were free game.

[hairmetal666]

Steve knows he falls in love too easily. Nancy told him, Robin too.

But falling in love with Eddie Munson is hard.

They're supposed to be friends after Vecna. They're supposed to be friends, but Steve can't get past what Eddie did in the Upside Down; how he put himself in a position to nearly die, how Dustin got hurt. It's not fair. He knows it's not, but it doesn't make the anger go away.

Eddie's part of the group now, though, and Steve won't leave him out, no matter how angry. They're all at movie nights, at pool parties, at Hellfire, at Corroded Coffin gigs. It's just that Steve and Eddie don't speak. And Steve is okay with it. If it's what it takes to make sure that they're all hanging out together, not talking to Eddie is a small thing. He's pretty sure Eddie doesn't mind. At least, he seems as uninterested in hanging out with Steve as Steve is with him.

It doesn't need to be anything more than that, and it isn't, not until Steve goes upstairs to get more sunscreen during one of the pool parties, and walks back downstairs to find Munson waiting for him in his kitchen.

"You need something?" He asks, unable to fully hide the way he jolts with surprise.

Eddie twists the rings on his fingers, something Steve's noticed he does whenever he's nervous. "You have a problem with me, Harrington?

"No, of course not," he answers too fast.

"C'mon, man. You can barely stand to be in the same room with me."

"That's not true! We're in one together right now."

Eddie rolls his eyes so hard that it has to hurt. "Don't do that. Don't pretend like you don't know what I mean. You can't stand to be alone with me for more than thirty seconds."

Steve splutters, searching for a plausible reason.

"Is it cause--" Eddie swallows, hand going back to cup his neck. "Is it cause you heard me tell Robin that I'm gay? Back at the hospital. Is it because--" he cuts himself off.

Something in Steve's chest clenches hard, warmth swooping dangerously in his stomach. "No," Steve says, means it. "I didn't hear. I didn't-- it has nothing to do with that. It's--that's cool. Thanks for--yeah, that's cool."

Eddie's smile is a brittle little thing. "Then, what else?" Eddie pulls a chunk of hair over his mouth. "I can't think of any other reason you'd hate me so much."

"I don't." And Steve hopes it's coming off as genuine. "I promise."

He can't help remember the camaraderie, the understanding, that started to grow between them in the Upside Down. The "don't cha, big boy?" of it all. They could be friends. They should be.

They shouldn't get into it. Not right here, not right now when the kids' splashes and excited screams filter through the sliding door.

"You're a shit liar, Harrington."

"Ed--I'm not--"

"You know what? Don't bother. I'll just--" He jolts in the direction of the front door.

"Don't be stupid, Munson."

"God, I can't believe I didn't see it before. You just fucking loathe me."

"I do not. Grow up."

"Oh, yeah? Then what's your problem?"

"There isn't--"

"Stop lying!"

"You didn't fucking think!" He shouts. Loud enough that the noise outside cuts off. "You pulled that shit in the Upside Down and you almost died! Dustin got hurt!"

Eddie blinks his big brown eyes in stunned surprise.

"I told you, I said, 'dont try to be cute or be a hero or something.' And you know what you said? Do you?"

Eddie won't look at him now. "I had to make a choice, Steve."

"It was the wrong one!"

"I would do it all again. No matter what you say. I would do it to draw the bats away. To protect Dustin."

"But you didn't."

"There was no other way to stop them, Steve! They would've gotten through, into Hawkins."

"It doesn't matter."

"You weren't there! You can't tell me--"

"Yes, I can! I know."

"You don't! You think--"

"I almost lost you!" He screams. "You nearly died in my arms, Eddie. And for what?"

Falling in love with Eddie wasn't easy. It was blood and near death; it was weeks in a cold hospital room while Eddie existed in a drug-induced twilight state; it was agonizing convalescence and physical therapy and changing bandages; it was Eddie leading dnd sessions with bright eyes and contagious enthusiasm, herding the kids to the arcade and video store, theatrically serving snacks at movie night; it was festering, senseless anger at the near loss of something.

Eddie's lips tremble. "Steve, I--"

"It doesn't matter." He turns away to slide a hand down his face in an effort to wipe away the emotion. "You're fine and we're--it doesn't matter."

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "Steve, I'm sorry. I wanted--I thought it would help. I thought--"

And Steve has to admit, he does, the whole terrible contradiction of it all. "I know," he whispers back. "I would've--I know."

"I thought I was protecting Dustin. I thought I was buying you guys time with Vecna." Eddie's voice breaks. "I didn't--I--" He squeezes his eyes shut.

In the quiet of the kitchen, they gravitate to one another, foreheads resting together.

"I should have been there, Ed. I shouldn't have left you two alone. You almost died, and I--"

"Sweetheart, I'm right here. We're right here."

They don't kiss, but they're close enough that their mouths brush with each breath they take.

"Don't do that, again." Steve clenches his fists into Eddie's cutoff t-shirt. "Promise you won't ever--"

"I promise, Stevie. I promise. I'll be by your side until the very end, whatever it is."

[ambrosiagoldfish]

I've never sent a request before, but I'm fiending for more adam, like anything, anything at all

Benefit of the doubt

Adam x 3rd Spouse! Reader

Viewer discretion is advised

Warnings: Angst(?), Not exactly fluff at the end but it gets better, typical Adam TW’s, reader low-key high-key has a complex about being loved, this is set way before the show, and Gn! Reader. (Also Y/n isn’t used, which also surprised me, the author, LMAO)

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Request Box: Open

Word count: 1760

A/N: Hi! Thanks for the request! I haven’t had a chance to write something that was originally my own idea in a while, so this was very refreshing! I’ve had this idea since I’ve watched the show so I hope you enjoy it!

I’m entirely up for making a small series from this oneshot, but I would need to know y’all’s opinion on it! (So don’t feel scared to let me know if you want some more of this idea in my Request box/the replies on this post!!)

Also Adam may be slightly OOC but please just chalk it up to him not yet getting his ego’s dick sucked 24/7

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy, let me know if you do!

Proofread but of course could have left mistakes!

You’ve existed for almost all of human existence, Almost.

You were the 4th being to be created during the time of Eden. But unlike the other 3, you weren’t human. In fact, you technically never lived before. An honestly hopeless existence, yet it was so beautiful in every way. But for what purpose? Well…

You were created shortly after Eve ate the apple, before she and eventually Adam committed the first act of sin that caused evil to latch onto humanity like a leech.

The reason for your existence was simple. To be Adam’s new spouse, except for when after he died. From the very moment Eve bit the fruit of temptation, it was already decided she would hold no place in heaven. Adam was given mercy due to him not possessing any knowledge of the fruit Eve had shared with him, he trusted her wholeheartedly. Which is exactly why heaven gave him mercy… no, pity would be a better choice of words.

Upon your creation you learned immediately of the happenings before your existence. About Lilith and Eve, and about Lucifer

And so, after Adam and Eve were casted away from the Garden, they continued to live their lives, fostering the existence of mankind for the rest of time. And when they eventually died, Adam was given pity while Eve was thrown to the wayside, the vast unknown.

You thought it was finally your time to experience existence with the one you loved, the one you were made for. Of course you never would know life as he did but surely your life never-after life could be just as meaningful as his.

How excited you were, how completely enamored by the thought of it. But there was a problem with that, Adam had grown into a new person, he was meant to of course, he was human. But he had grown selfish, abhorrent… insecure.

You understood why, to be betrayed by not one but two of his wives for the same person. You couldn’t possibly imagine what he could be feeling. Before you were to meet your future husband, Sera informed you that he had asked for a mask, and once on, he has refused to take it off.

That didn’t bother you, it’s irrelevant to your love for him. You've only heard descriptions of his features. Short Brown hair, gold eyes, bushy eyebrows, some scruff on his chin. All in all, he sounded perfectly fine, ordinary even. But even then it’s his choice to wear the mask, so you’ll respect it.

Finally, the time he arrived in heaven, and when Sera finally introduced you, his new spouse, the one to whom would be by his side for the rest of forever.

He rejected you outright.

“What?” Your breath hitched as you stuttered over the word, the sharp inhale of your lungs through your mouth flicked through the air.

Sera looked just as shocked as you but she quickly regained her composure “What is the meaning of this Adam?”

“If you think I’m going to let my life get fucked over by another one of your “gifts” well, you’ve got another thing coming!” He crossed his arms and shook his head defyingly. “I’ve already learned my lesson with those last 2 bitches.”

“Adam I’m sorry that happened to you but I would never-“ almost like lightning his finger shot to your mouth, shushing you.

“Save it, Sweetcheeks, I really don’t care what you have to say, so just stay there and look pretty, k?” His hand fell and grabbed the sides of your face, squishing your cheeks together, his LED mask flashing a sharp smile.

You saddeningly looked down at the clouds below you.

“Adam!” Sera’s voice sounded through the air, still soft but firm, she continued, placing a hand on your shoulder, “Divine judgment allowed you to be the first human soul in heaven, so I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I expect you to give your new spouse that same grace.”

Slowly your eyes looked up at Sera with a soft smile. Adam only groaned “Ugh, Fine but don’t be fuxking annoying, capiche?” You nod your head quickly.

“Very good, glad we have it settled.” Sera gives a quick smile, “now, I have some business to take care of so I’ll leave you two alone to get to know one another” With that, Sera flew away leaving the both of you alone.

The silence was thick in the air, the only sound being the occasional wind breeze blowing past. The sunlight creeps in through the clouds painting an orange sky above you both. In every sense of the word, it was perfect.

It was almost funny. You had waited so long to finally meet him, your true love, the one you were made for. All the things you dreamed about, the laughs you’d have together, the warm embrace of the person who you loved. But now… you didn’t know what to say…

“I’m… happy to finally meet you.” Your voice is quiet, almost non-audible. “I’ve been waiting for you since… well, forever…”

He doesn’t respond. He seems to be transfixed on something below you both. You train your eyes on whatever he’s watching only to see the dark cavernous abyss below you. Finally he breaks his silence.

“The fuck is that?” He asked pointing down, a sound of genuine intrigue hidden behind his abrasive voice

“That’s hell?” You stated confused “where would-be sinners will go to be punished, didnt you k-“ you suddenly realized that perhaps Adam really didn’t know what hell was. It was only created relatively recently, after Eve and Him ate the apple, of course he wouldn’t know. “it’s also where Lucifer-“

“Don’t fucking say his name.” Adam spoke, his voice rough in his speech. LED mask putting a harsh frown on his face. “Let’s get one thing straight M”Kay babe, if you’re my “new spouse” that’s something you should remember.” The “new spouse” was said with a tone clearly meant to mock you.

“Sorry…”

“Ugh, It’s fine, just don’t do it again.” He groaned before a wicked smile crept onto his mask “Sooo, that means he’s going to be stuck with all the wasteful beings of existence, HA fuxkin’ hilarious. Guess that makes them the losers and us the Winners!”

His laugh filled the air, the sound was like music to your ears, sure maybe it wasn’t really what you’d hoped he’d fine funny, but you loved it all the same but eventually his laugh died down

Silence again… in admits of all of it you suddenly was sparked with a thought “oh!” Adam looked confused at the random exclamation. “I had almost forgotten… I brought you something, as a welcome gift or was it a nice to meet you gift? Both? Eh, it doesn’t matter but the point is-“ you suddenly snap your fingers.

Golden light began shining, the light seemed like liquid hot magma as it moved and molded slowly into a shape. Light seemed to be overlapping and churning into itself, forming your desired outcome. With one final snap of your fingers, the gleaming gold liquid took hold, and quickly hardened to a solid.

The object that had formed quickly fell down, landing in your arms with a light thud.

“I’m still learning this creation stuff, so I’m sorry if it’s not perfect but-“ you hold out the object in your arms as an invitation to grab it “I learned from Sera that you liked to play guitar when you were alive, so I thought you might like to have one here…”

Adam looked at the instrument in your hands. The base color was gold, the neck was pearly white with gold strings. To be honest it looked more like a harp then anything, like if a guitar and a harp had a baby.

Silence again. Did he not like it? Did he hate it? You go to pull it back to you and apologize when suddenly it’s ripped out from your hands.

“Holyshit, this is sick as Fuck!” Adam immediately started playing some rifts on the new guitar. The sound wasn’t what you were expecting but you guess Sera was right about his talent with the instrument. The whole time his mask had a wide and sharp smile as he mimicked guitar sounds with his voice, the occasional laugh leaving his mouth.

“I’m really glad you like it” you say, a sigh of relief leaving your body.

Adam looked at you, one you missed. He saw how relieved you were, how nice you were being. No person who supposedly loved him ever gifted him something, well, one other did. Someone he trusted and loved more than everyone, anyone. But look how that ended, with them being removed from the garden, away from an eternity of happiness until he died. All from someone giving him what he thought was nothing but love, a gift.

But he could see that this was different, you were different. When Eve gave him the apple, she didn’t explain what it was or why she wanted him to eat it, even when he asked her she didn’t explain. But with you, you had not only given him something you knew he liked but also expressed the reason behind it. Yes, you were different, even Adam could see it.

“Anyways, thanks for the axe, I guess…” Adam for the first time was stunned, but quickly he continued “What was the thing that Sera chick said about me and “divine judgment” or whatever the fuck? That she gave me the “benefit of the doubt…”

You were a bit confused but continued listening, “I guess I should at least try to give you a chance, since you got me this sick ass guitar an’ shit.” Your face lit up, you about began to speak before you were, once again, shushed “B-B-But-” his finger tapped your lips with each repeated syllable ”-only a chance. If you betray me like those last 2 bitches then you’re done, got it?”

To say you were overjoyed would be an understatement, a smile quickly plastered across your face as you quickly nodded your head

“Alright good, so uh, what do ya say about showing me the best places to get a bite to eat around here, I could really go for some ribs right about now.”

“ I’d… love to, thank you Adam”

“Yeah don’t mention it Sweetcheeks” Adam quickly wrapped his arm around your shoulder and you two began walking.

Maybe you will get your eternity of happiness.you can only pray you do.

[lovedumbandbroke]

A concept in my head that been rolling around a lot:

Hanahaki, but instead of it being triggered by unrequited love, it's triggered because all the love you have for a person turns inwards because you're too afraid to show it.

So it kills you, not because someone doesn't love you back, but because you don't let it out and all that love you have stored, that could grow into something beautiful, turns on you and turns your insides beautiful.

Love is growth, and without any place for it to grow outside, it grows in. If you confess, reciprocated or not, the disease goes away because it's no longer trapped. It gives self-destruction a new meaning.

[lazylittledragon]

i promised a happy ending for alt dads <33

[feyascorner]

until I come back alive

summary. in which you come back injured from a particularly unlucky battle, and Astarion realizes his feigned affections for you are not feigned at all.

warnings. angst, fluff, Astarion being bad at feelings

pairing. Astarion x GN!reader

a/n. this is super long omg ALSO TYSM for the love on my previous fic! It was my first post so I didn’t realize more than like two ppl would see it!! Kind of scary but also I can write more astarion so oh well 🙏

“The way they look at you is different from the way they look at us.”

Astarion raises a brow at this, glancing at Karlach who adjusts a log in the campfire paying no heed to the flickering flames brushing against her skin. She smiles to herself, genuinely, and he questions if she’s finally gone mad.

“So have you said the big ‘L’ word yet?” she asks excitedly, turning to him with a big grin. He shifts away from her, the increasing heat radiating off her body but she doesn’t seem to care, too busy staring at him expectantly.

“The what?”

“You know! The ‘L’ word,” she says the last part in a hushed whisper, as if it’d be a sin for anyone else to hear. Occasionally it baffles him how childish she can be, though he’d never voice these concerns out loud considering she could snap his poor body in half if she really wanted.

He also knows that she’s more emotionally capable in how she approaches these relationships (though one could argue it’s just innocence)—in ways he’s lost over the past 200 years. Though, he makes an effort to shove these thoughts to the deepest corners of his brain for the sake of his own sanity.

“If you’re speaking of ‘love,’” He emphasizes it with a strange accent. “No. I have not. Nor have they.”

She appears puzzled. “Why not?”

He sighs irritably, bringing a hand to adjust the cuffs on his hand. “Must everything be put bluntly? So glaringly obvious?”

“You love each other, don’t you?”

At this, he falters, just the slightest before plastering his usual grin that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Love is a wide spectrum, dear. Tav and I are whatever they want us to be.”

A late night partner would be the most positive thing he could refer you to. A fling, an amusement, or whatever words people described the arrangement between the two of you as, he didn’t care for it. He’d given himself to you, and you to him—-physically, at least, and you’d seem more than content with it. In return, he received protection, which was a sufficient payment in return for his hushed words of affection and kisses. A fair trade, he deemed.

Sure, he could’ve chosen anyone else in the camp. But he’d seen the way your eyes lit up at the sight of him, surely dazed at his flirtatious tendencies. You’d been an easy target. A survival tool.

And yes, maybe he’d played with your innocent feelings, but could you really blame him? He’d given you the nights of your life, for something so simple in return. It was a transaction.

Karlach waves a dismissive hand which brings him back to the present, propping herself on her arm behind her. “Life’s too short for that bullshit. Either you love someone or you don’t.”

“Fortunately for me, I have all of eternity,” he snorts. “Unless I were to suddenly lose the unwanted visitor inside my head and step into the sunlight, I’ll be here to watch the world fall and rise a dozen times over I’m afraid.”

“But they don’t,” Karlach frowns. “Tav doesn’t have eternity.”

He ignores the way his jaw clenches. He’s afraid, he thinks, of losing the freedom he’s just gained.

“Did you call me?”

Both the vampire and tiefling turn to your voice, where you stand blankly with an armful of logs clutched to your waist. Karlach opens her mouth to respond, but Astarion is faster.

“Nothing, darling. Just answering a few curious questions from Karlach here.”

“Oh,” you blink at him, shrugging before setting the logs beside the fireplace. “Well, Gale, Shadowheart, and I are going to the village across the forest tomorrow morning to check on the goblins appearing there recently. Won’t be back till noon so don’t wait up.”

“Don’t worry,” Karlach laughs. “I’ll keep the camp in order while you’re gone. If Astarion tries to bite Lae’zel, though, his fate’s inevitable.”

He rolls his eyes, opting to stand from his spot and take your hand. “Come along, darling. Any longer near this damned fireplace and my skin may melt.”

You nod with a smile, waving at Karlach before you follow him into his tent without a word of protest.

Easy, he thinks. Too easy.

He soon finds himself staring up at you from his place, laying his head on your lap as you read through a few scrolls you found throughout the day. He clicks his tongue and you look down, offering that sickeningly sweet smile again. “What’s wrong?”

“You have the most handsome person in this camp on your bloody lap and you want to read?”

You snicker at this, setting the scroll down beside you. “What do you suggest I do? Worship the very eyelashes on your face?”

“My body deserves much more praise than just the eyelashes.”

“Hm…” you pretend to be in thought. “That mole on your face is very obvious too.”

He gasps, immediately shooting upward as he grabs at his own face. “Tell me you’re lying.”

Your laughter rings throughout the tent, airy as you pull his hand away from his face. “I’m kidding, mostly.”

He stares at you as you recollect yourself, finding himself gazing at you far longer than he’d like to admit. Quickly, he adjusts, fiddling with the hand mirror he always keeps under his pillow as he watches you through it. “Karlach spoke of something ridiculous today. She said you were in love with me.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really,” he rolls his eyes. “That woman lives in a fairy tale I tell you. How she went through 10 years in Avernus is beyond me.”

There’s slight hesitance in your voice, and if he’d not learned your body language early on in your arrangement, he wouldn’t have even noticed it. “Astarion, have you ever been in love?”

He pauses at this, meeting your eyes head on now. There’s a heavier thickness in the air between the short distance between the two of you, and he immediately gauges what you want him to say. A lie readies itself at the tip of his tongue, his gaze searching yours for whatever fantasy that lives behind them.

Instead, your expression is blank. He finds nothing.

“No.” He’s not sure why he responded honestly, but it’s too late to take it back. “Have you?”

You look to the side. “I’m not sure anymore.”

“Anymore?” He shifts his head when you turn your chin further away, avoiding confrontation. “Has someone captured your impenetrable heart as of late? How intriguing—do tell.”

His teasing tone drops when you don’t smile at his usual antics. He’s not stupid—far from it. He knows you’ve begun to fall for him. It’s an obvious result from the 200 years of instinctive flirting he has tucked away in what remains of his soul, and it’s what he intended. What he needed.

The more enraptured you are, the longer he has protection.

He gently tilts your chin toward him, his fang visible through the grin that stretches across his face. “Tell me, pet, do you love me?”

Your eyes drop to his lips. “Do you want me to?”

A bunny caught in the fangs of a fox. It would be so easy to indulge—to go as far as to make you nothing but a puppet he toys with for his own personal gains. He can sense the way your finger twitches, itching to lace them with his own, and the crueler side of him forces his hand to stay put.

He wordlessly leans toward you, his lips grazing against the side of your neck. You shiver at the touch and he smiles wickedly to himself, drinking in the gasp that escapes you when he tilts your neck to the other side, where he usually drinks.

He doesn’t even have to ask. “Just—be gentle. Please.”

“Of course.” He unhinges his jaw, ready to plunge the knives of his teeth into where the sweet liquid gold rushes to your face, his shoulders finally relaxing when—

“I love you,” you whisper under your breath.

He stops.

Though unsure why, he freezes. Completely and utterly freezes.

“Astarion?”

He pulls away slowly, staring at you for a long moment before offering another smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

“You look exhausted, my dear. I think that’s enough for tonight.”

“But you didn’t even feed?”

“I can handle myself, darling, as much as I appreciate your worries,” he stands and holds the flap of the tent open, practically a silent demand for you to leave.

He should be ecstatic. Gleaming with joy from being offered a drop of your blood, but instead, he feels knots forming in his stomach. And the longer he watches you, the worst they seem the get.

Hurt flashes across your face and he ignores the sudden tightness in his chest.

“Okay, well,” you say, stepping out hesitantly. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, my dear.”

And as he lies wide awake in the middle of the night with nothing to accompany him but his own thoughts, he finds that all of them are overruled by his endless need for warmth. Not just anyone’s but the one he’s become accustomed to the past few months. No matter how much he curls up in his bedroll, all he can feel is the chill of his own body.

And he hates it more than he expected.

——

By the time he awakens, you’re long gone.

He’s rather productive. Taking walks, gathering supplies, catching up on his reading, he refuses to sit and lie around as the others await for you and your companions to return from the goblin village.

He even entertains sitting through one of Karlach’s dances, which somehow ends up being more entertaining than he’d imagined. While she didn’t fall flat on her face (which he admittedly looked forward to), it burnt through time regardless.

The peace is broken when he hears footsteps rushing toward the camp. He’s memorized everyone’s intervals when sprinting or pacing, so he’s quick to identify Gale and Shadowheart. He listens keenly for your own footsteps.

There are no third pair of footsteps at all.

Shadowheart stumbles into the camp, in a panic compared to her usual self, as she points toward a spot on the ground and snaps at Gale to put something down.

He only sees when she moves out of the way that this something, is rather someone.

You’re writhing in pain, eyes shut in an unconsciousness that’s surely preferable to what you’re feeling. You’re sweating, groaning in your sleep and everyone is immediately rushing to you.

His face would’ve gone pale, if it weren’t for the fact that he was already as ghostly as a sheet.

“What happened,” Lae’zel demands in place of him, and he opts to mindlessly push Gale to the side, who doesn’t say a word from the expression on Astarion’s face. He doesn’t know what he looks like, but from Gale’s reaction, it’s better he never know.

“Damned poison arrows,” Shadowheart hisses. “I’m completely out of magic for today. I need to make an antidote by hand before their condition gets any worse than it already is.”

Astarion brushes the back of his knuckles against your cheek. The creases between your brows soften for the slightest moment before they’re back again.

Lae’zel and Shadowheart are arguing again—something about how one thing would’ve happened if another thing hadn’t. He’s not even sure what they’re arguing about, but in an instant, rage flickers in his chest.

“Do something!” He snaps, suddenly making the camp go quiet. “Or are you just going to stand there and watch them die?”

He suddenly feels a hand grab his, and his eyes shoot down to see your own. Even in your sleep, you reach out to him. Even in the deepest part of slumber, you search for him. It makes him feel like the shittiest and luckiest person alive, especially as the your hurt expression from last night flashes in his mind.

“Help them,” the words spill out against his will, his tone breaking down into something more desperate. “Do something. For God’s sake, anything.”

In the moment, he doesn’t care about protection. He doesn’t give a shit about any of that because the second he’d seen you in genuine pain, it was all he needed to completely forget about the stupid reasons why he approached you in the first place.

All he cared about was your life.

Everyone glances at one another knowingly, but even Lae’zel doesn’t break the silence. Shadowheart spares him a furrowed glare before rushing to gather the antidote.

You only awake hours later. Certainly during the middle of the night, to the ceiling of a tent that’s certainly not your own. You slowly urge yourself to sit up, a pounding headache ringing in your skull, but your worries about it vanish when you hear his voice.

“Quite the nap, darling.”

You snap around to see him on the other side of the tent, albeit only a few feet away from how crunched it is. Fascinating, he thinks, that even with your disheveled hair and bloodshot eyes, he finds you more beautiful than before. “What happened?”

“You nearly died.”

“…how?”

“Poison,” he’s fiddling with his dagger, refusing to look at you. He can’t. In fear of what he might say. “Caused a reasonable panic too. Seems like our companions have grown more attached to you than anyone’s expected.”

You purse your lips, and he quickly mortifies at the exceeding need to part them with his own. You don’t seem to notice. “You too?”

“I was certainly worried our esteemed leader may kick the bucket earlier than anticipated, yes.”

“No, I mean,” you scrunch your eyes sheepishly, and he thinks it’s adorable. Gods he must be going insane. “Have you…grown attached?”

He raises a brow. “You just woke up from a life threatening experience and that’s what piques your interest?”

Your cheeks turn a shade darker. He wants to touch them. “I just…I was worried all day. About us. I got too distracted and of course, that’s on me, but one of the goblins took advantage and—“

He wants to climb into a coffin, guilt eating away at what remains of his organs. But when you fidget with the ends of his bedroll blanket, he can’t tell if his stomach is churning from shame or something else.

You stop, close your mouth, then open it again. “When I passed out, I was just thinking about how I would hate for us to part like that. I didn’t want last night to be our last moment.”

“No,” he says firmly. “While you’d been asleep, I’ve had quite some time to think, darling. And more time to wallow in my self pity for being stuck with an actual weirdo. I mean, do you hear yourself? Worrying about such a stupid encounter while on your deathbed? You should’ve been cursing me with all the strength you had left if you were going to think about me of all people!”

You smile a bit, and he grits his teeth at the way his throat goes dry. “I’m just glad.”

“For getting poisoned?”

“No,” you roll your eyes. “I’m glad I didn’t scare you off by telling you I loved you. I was afraid we wouldn’t talk like this anymore.”

His body wills him to freeze up again. To push you away, and to force the fantasy that his feelings towards you were nothing but manipulative. That you were nothing but a way to survive to him. But no, he couldn’t stand such cowardice any longer. Not after nearly losing you.

You offer him a pathetic laugh. “I don’t expect you to say it back, nor for you to feel the same way. I just—felt like you needed to know. It doesn’t change anything between us I hope. It just felt wrong to keep it to myself any longer and the way you reacted just made me regret it so much-“

He wraps his palm in front of your mouth, his other hand pulling you closer to his side in an instant. With your faces inches apart, he sighs irritably. “As much as I’d like to keep hearing your voice, I can’t stand its contents any longer I’m afraid.”

He lowers his hand, staring straight at your wide eyes as he narrows his own. “I do. Like you, I mean. A lot more than I’d like to admit, quite frankly.”

You blink as if you’re staring at a miracle.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he mumbles with a scoff. “I’ve had these feelings for a while now, I just didn’t wish to face them. When you said that to me yesterday, I just didn’t know how to respond, and for that, I am sorry. But losing you—I’m not sure what I would have done, but it’s certainly not a pretty sight.”

Your eyes soften and he’s certain he can lose himself within them for years. “I’ve never heard you sound so—sincere.”

He raises your knuckles to his lips, keeping them close even as he speaks. “I approached you out of necessity, I’ll admit. But it seems you’ve grown on me in a way I haven’t experienced since I’ve turned into a spawn. What you are to me—it’s difficult to describe.” He pauses. “Sometimes, I can still feel my heart beating with you.”

As your fingers brush against the side of his face, he swears he can feel it again. He almost feels warm, maybe even safe. And he’s sick and tired of denying himself of your embrace when death is around every corner.

You’re soon curled up into his chest, with his chin atop of your head. He’s not sure how much time passes—maybe hours, or even days as he continues to observe your face, committing each and every detail to his memory. And when your breathing steadies, falling into deep slumber, he finally has the courage to whisper the words against your hair.

“I love you.”

[bluepigeon300]

Forgive me-Sera and Emily's angst comic

🚨 DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT MY PERMISSION 🚨

[amberjazmyn]

impromptu sibling counselling

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - impromptu sibling counselling 

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - foul language, crying, older brother jared x reader, talk of bullying

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - after an awful day at school, jared's youngest sister julianna (jules) is taken too far and freaks out after jared jokingly chucks some water over her school uniform. this then turns into the weirdest but most meaningful sibling counselling session between the elder and youngest padalecki 

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - this is an already published imagine from a different book so, if you have already read the other version beforehand, i hope you like this version! 

masterlist

- - - 

𝐣𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯

huffing and puffing with anger from the school day i just finished, i slumped myself onto the couch in the lounge room. picking up the tv remote to turn on the tv before i throw the remote back down quite harshly. a rerun of supernatural played back to me on the tv on the cw as i hunched forward, playing my chin into my hands as i thought back about how today at school went. what a day it is to be a seventeen-year-old girl who is still trying to figure everything out whilst still having to deal with the dramas of secondary school. to say i was mad was an understatement. you'd think being jules padalecki, jared padalecki's younger sister is easy but, honesty, whilst i love being his younger sister, it is not as easy by any means. especially when rumours about you and your boyfriend michael are made every single day. 

the reason why i was so made was because a rumour was made about my boyfriend michael. it wasn't just any old rumour, it was said that michael had cheated on me with a girl called cassidy, the school's bully. of course i got upset because cassidy literally gives me hell every single day at school and most days, michael stands up for me but, not today apparently! and the thing was, every other time with these rumours, michael would always defend himself and say that it wasn't true. however, this time he didn't even try to defend himself, he just shrugged his shoulders and then walked away with a smile on his face as the bell rang, signalling the next lesson.

unfortunately, i should have realised i wasn't home alone as when i did violently chuck the tv remote back, wincing at the memory that not only was sadie, jared and i's dog home but so was jensen, misha and rob, some of jared's supernatural castmates. jesus christ, jules, you couldn't have been more aggressive, could you? 

however, after being pestered a few times by jensen, rob trying to shut him up, i was now quite focused on watching this rerun of supernatural. that, because of that, i only lost my focus when i noticed a weird cool breeze that was dripping down the white collared shirt i had to wear for the private school i attend...

...that was when i realised, the other two castmates, alex and my brother jared were home. but, that just made me even more confused why i was suddenly cold and the cold breeze was down my shirt...i swear to all the motherfucking angels and saints, jared did not just do what i think he's just done. 

then, i realised it was him due to the giggles that i could hear coming from behind me that obviously sounded like jared. it was obvious because he was the only one in the house that laughs like he laughs. fuck sake jared, you big piece of shit! 

"...JARED TRISTAN MOTHERFUCKING PADALECKI! I'M GOING TO FUCKING MURDER YOU!" i scream out from the top of my lungs, jumping off the couch 

i look down and immediately notice that i was completely soaked, the black lace bra i had stolent from gen, jared's wife, showing through completely. my shirt shirt completely transparent whilst my checkered skirt was also covered in water as well. well, okay, do i have permission to murder my older brother, who if this happened any other day, i'd cry over if i actually did go through with my murder plot? 

"try me jules!" jared responded, completely calm and collected with a cheeky smirk on his face

not recognising at all that the reason i screamed wasn't because i was mad about the water but because of everything else that had happened before this. i wasn't completely mad at jared, it was just him pouring water over me was the straw that broke the camel's back. 

"i fucking will try you, don't even think i wouldn't jared!" i was way too mad, blinded by the fact that this new rumour about michael that i had no clue if it was true or not truly took over all my emotions 

that was when jared's smile faded away and noticed that it wasn't him or the impromptu water fight that made me mad but a truly different thing that was completely unrelated. 

"hey...jules,what's wrong girly. you're never this angry," jared's voice softened and he moved closer and held my hands tightly in an effort to get me to his level of calm and serenity 

i was just about to explain when someone knocked on the door. followed by the very voice of the very person i was not wanting to talk to at this point in time. 

"...jules, i'm sorry i didn't defend you! cassidy is an asshole, she's a wh--bitch...you know i'd never do something like that i..." 

"...shut up michael, get out!" i raise my voice as tears well in my eye line, everyone in sudden shock at my outburst of my voice raising yet again - michael not understanding my request

"but please, just let me explain jules, i promise it wasn't any--" 

"--GET OUT MICHAEL! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE! GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!" this time i allow myself to scream as my voice falters, ready for the tears that were yet to stream down my face in devastation, anger, grief and every other heartbroken emotion a human being could feel 

"...jules, what happened? why did michael mention cassidy?" boom, hearing jared say michael and cassidy's names out loud, i broke and immediately lost it

this caused worry for jared and the rest of the cast that were here watching all of this in an instant. i broke down into tears, doubling over myself as i hugged myself, in an attempt to protect myself from everything, even though i knew i wasn't in any immediate danger. jared instantly reacted and pull me into his arms for a hug to calm my cries down. 

"hey...hey..ssh, it's okay jules. what's wrong sweetheart? what did he do?" jared attempted to calm me down, his voice calm, soft and patient as i tried to allow myself to catch my breath

in the attempt that i could explain what happened and why those two things, the water fight and seeing michael set me off the way it did. 

"he...he cheated on me...me with cas...cassidy!" i sobbed out and as soon as i said those words, silence happened and you could hear a pin drop from the utter shock and tension that filled the room 

"he did what?" jared question, a wave of (rare) anger in his voice that i've only heard for now the second time in my entire life as i sobbed again before repeating my statement 

"i...i mean...i...i think he cheated on me. i mean...that...that's the newest rumour at school..." i trailed off as i sniffled, attempting to wipe away my tears as i noticed the way misha, jensen, alex and rob were reacting in the background and they did not seem happy at all 

"...who started this rumour?" misha's anger-ridden voice comes next as he stops pacing for a moment as i respond to him, noticing he had his arms crossed over his chest as a sign of anger

"cassidy, it's always her that starts them yet she's never the one who gets in trouble, it's always someone else that takes the fall for her, whether they know it or not," i responded as i had slowly started to stop crying and jared had sat us both down on the couch with a tv commerical playing in the background

"now that we know that cassidy started it like always, did michael attempt to speak against it like he always does?" rob is next to question, his voice a lot more calmly but it was obvious from his expressions and body language that he too was mad like misha and jared 

"no, this time he just shrugged his shoulders, smiled and then walked off as the bell for the next class sounded..." trailing off, this infruiated jared and rob, as did it with jensen, misha and alex as i also shrugged my shoulders 

"...did you at least try to allow him to tell you his side of the story or did you refuse to hear it because, from his response, you thought he was agreeing with the rumour? and thought that, his actions were clear enough to let you know your thoughts on the matter?" jensen questioned sincerely, taking a less angered turn even though he was mad

"no...i refused because, as you said, it seemed as if his lack of defence of the rumour meant that it spoke louder than any explanation could. so, i just, determined that cassidy was right and that he did cheat on me..." once again i trailed off, wrapping my arms around my stomach, a weird comfort thing i weirdly picked up as a kid that's stayed with me ever since 

jared then shakes his head, absolutely appalled about what was going on, "...oh, jules, sweetie, maybe actually allow him to explain himself. as, when he did come over, he was very quick to attempt to explain himself before you cut him off entirely," jared spoke up, his finger coming up underneath my eye gently as he wipes a tear from my cheek 

"maybe, i don't know what to do jare. i don't know if i can trust him but, i..i love him so much. i really do but, just, hearing new rumours every single day i walk through those halls is exhausting. i pretended for so long that it didn't bother me but i...i can't pretend anymore...i...i just can't..." i trailed off as i hugged myself tighter as jared sighed before enveloping me and kissing my head 

"...everything will be okay jules. don't forget, you're still a kid, everything will fall into place, i promise. just, think about me, everything fell into place as if it was destined to happen. do you think i ever gave up? if you actually allow michael to explain himself, everything will fall back into place and it will all be okay again. i don't think it's in michael to actually do anything malvolent or malicious. i think cassidy however, has it in her to be malvolent and malicious and that's exactly what she's doing. why wouldn't you want to trust michael, what else has michael done that tells you you shouldn't be trusting him?" jared was right but he was always like this, always believing in the positives of life as i smiled towards my older brother 

for a little bit of context, jared has been like this ever since an uncle of ours died in february of 2016. and he's never let go of the fact that, whilst it hurt and still hurts, it happened for a reason and he ended up finding the positive of our uncle's death. so, that's how jared and i go about our daily life now. and, no matter what happens, something positive will happen and everything will fall back into its correct spot and everything will be okay again. 

and, what do you know? jared was completely right. of course he was. after letting michael to tell his side of the story, basically as soon as jared told me i should, i did and i listened as michael told me everything that had happened. and, i shouldn't have jumped straight to the conclusion that michael cheated on me with cassidy. because, of course, jared was right and i truly had no reason to not trust michael. michael doesn't have it in himself to be malvolent and malicious but cassidy does and, michael got cassidy to actually admit the truth and say that she did make up the story because she was jealous that i could "get" any guy i want whereas she couldn't. yeah, i wonder why cassidy. i wonder why you can't get any guy you want and i quote can. 

- - - 

i do like this fic i will not lie! i hope you guys do too! i like brother x jared so, i might do more of these! 

ily x

word count; 2140

[vanteguccir]

Left alone | Matt Sturniolo

Matt Sturniolo x reader

Summary: Where, after a difficult week, Matt takes out all his stress on Y/N, causing great damage to their relationship.

Warning: Fighting, yelling, cursing, dark thoughts. ANGST!

Requested?: Yes, by anons and @ivoncheetooo1239

Author's note: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

Part 2

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"I don't know where you want to get with that, Matt." Y/N sighed, closing her eyes tightly for a few minutes before opening them again, keeping them fixed on the road in front of the car. She had her head resting on her right hand, and her elbow braced next to the passenger door window.

Matt, as usual, had gone to pick up Y/N from work after her shift, but he was surprised to have to wait for an hour in the car for his girlfriend to finally be released, as her boss had demanded that she had to work overtime.

Despite being wrong, Matt felt furious.

His week was more than hectic with the start of sales of the 6 million clothing collection, as he and his brothers had to spend hours autographing photos of themselves that would go with each order. In addition to - by Nick and Chris's choice -, the three of them were the ones who hand-packed the first ones, which resulted in Matt having to stay awake until late hours, and waking up early everyday to fulfill his other tasks.

With all that, having to sit in his car for an hour, with only his phone and in such an uncomfortable seat seemed to increase his irritation, and he couldn't help but start an argument with his girlfriend, feeling like a pressure cooker about to explode.

"I'm just saying that you don't stop at home anymore. You just work all day, as if it was your number one priority in life. And now you've started this nonsense of working overtime!" Matt accused, gesturing exaggeratedly with his right hand while keeping his left one on the steering wheel.

"It's not like I asked to work overtime, Matt! You and your brothers have worked in a grocery store once, you know how it works-"

"Don't you dare bring up Chris and Nick's name. They have nothing to do with your lack of responsibility within a relationship." The boy took his eyes off the road momentarily, giving her a cold look that sent shivers running up her spine.

"Matt, you're being ridiculous! I understand your week has been tiring-" Matt cut the girl off again, shaking his head nervously.

"No, you don't know nothing, Y/N!" His tone was arrogant, a tone that the girl didn't remember ever hearing from him. "I'm exhausted because of my own work, and I still have to come and pick you up every day! And now you make me stay stuck in this car for an hour, waiting for Miss Perfect here to decide to leave." His voice gradually increased in volume.

Y/N could already feel the sensations of the ugly crying that was about to come, taking a deep breath and counting to 10 in her head.

"Then don't pick me up anymore, Matt! You were willing to come every day after my work just until some days ago, but if it's so hard for you now, don't come anymore." Y/N replied, her tone lower than her boyfriend's but still carrying much stress.

"How can you be so ungrateful?" Matt shouted, slamming his hands against the steering wheel violently.

"Matt, look, I'm sorry- Hey, keep your eyes on the road!" Y/N ignored the pang she felt in her heart at the brunette's words, fear rising through her veins as she saw the car move further away from the main road, as a result of his lack of attention.

Her eyes were wide as she raised her hands, ready to grab the steering wheel if necessary.

"You know what? I'm done." Matt spoke through gritted teeth, turning the car sharply to the right until it stopped on the side of the road.

"What are you doing? Matt?" Y/N asked, her breath coming out shakily as her eyes traveled down the dark, deserted street, to her boyfriend's face, which seemed to be covered in a gray cloud of hate.

"I'm done with this. If you don't want to take responsibility for your own mistakes and don't understand the seriousness of this relationship like I do, then maybe it's not worth the effort." He unlocked the doors, crossing his arms and keeping his eyes fixed on the road ahead, his nostrils flaring as a result of his hard breathing.

"M-Matt, don't do that." The girl tried, swallowing hard.

She reached out her hand towards him with the intention of gently touching his arm, but Matt pulling away roughly, as if she were a plague, made her stop abruptly for a few seconds, her hand slowly lowering.

“I need to think, Y/N.” He shook his head, resting his elbows on the steering wheel and laying his head in his hands, closing his eyes tightly. "Get out." He demanded sharply.

Y/N's eyes widened, her heart stopping momentarily.

"W-what? Are you crazy? Look at the time, Matt. How am I going to-"

"Get out." Matt interrupted her, not once looking up. His tone was flat and cold.

Y/N looked at him for a few more seconds, as if waiting for him to apologize and say it was all a sick joke. But that never happened.

She quickly pulled the car handle, grabbing her purse and getting out of the passenger seat. The cold night air hit her body with force as if needles were piercing her skin, eliciting a strong shiver from her members.

Her hand pushed the door hard, closing it, the sound echoing like a dull thud. Her eyes watched the car restart not even a second later, screeching away.

Y/N remained still for a few seconds - or minutes -, watching Matt's car disappear into the distance, her hope of him turning around slowly disappearing.

"Come back." Her voice sounded so broken, just like her insides. "P-please."

She spun around, taking note of the street completely deserted of cars or humans, the only source of life being the streetlights.

The girl quickly hooked her purse onto her right shoulder, crossing her arms tightly around her torso and beginning the steps of the long walk she would have to take to get home - if she even could call that place her home anymore. The possibility of Matt kicking her out after the events made her legs tremble.

Her throat started to hurt from the crying that she was still holding back. The emotions rising in her chest were like bile in her throat; It burned and hurt like never before. Her heart felt like it was being crushed by a human hand, and it didn't take long for loud sobs to escape her lips, her eyes stinging from the hot tears in contact with the freezing wind.

It was minutes of walking without stopping, her feet ached from the tension in her body, a result of the intense cold and the several times she turned back, checking if she wasn't being followed.

The familiar street soon took over her blurred vision, a sigh of relief escaping her lips. Thick tears were still rolling from her eyes, but her sobs had stopped, being replaced by small sniffles.

Y/N shuffled down the sidewalk, passing the houses neighboring hers, before finally stopping in front of her front door. Her hands, practically frozen by the cold, opened her purse in a quick movement, rummaging through the smaller pockets, looking for the key.

She closed her eyes tightly when she couldn't find it, vaguely remembering just throwing it in the glove compartment of Matt's car that morning since she was in such a rush and still eating her breakfast.

Her cheeks burned with embarrassment as she fished out her phone, cursing under her breath when she noticed that the battery was almost all gone. Just her lucky day.

She quickly unlocked the screen, going into her contact list and clicking on Chris's one. The boy answered on the second ring, surprising Y/N.

"Y/N? Thank God, where are you guys?" Chris's voice sounded relieved. Y/N frowned, her mind creating thousands of horrible scenarios as to why Matt hadn't gotten home yet.

The path she took, which took her almost 30 minutes of walking - or more, since she was walking slowly due to the cold - would not even take 15 minutes by car.

"C-Chris, open the door for me. Please." Her voice was broken, her teeth chattering as her body felt the temperature drop even more now that she stood still.

"Are you out there? Alone?" He asked exasperatedly. The sound of his bed shuffling sounded from behind, probably the result of him getting up.

"Yeah... Just hurry, please." Y/N repeated, her tone completely vulnerable.

The line went dead at the same instant. Her right hand - which was holding the device - moved away from her ear quickly, her eyes only finding the negative battery icon.

She threw her phone into her purse again, her eyes prickling with new tears that wanted to flow. Her mind created terrible thoughts about herself and her day, and all she wanted most was to sleep and perhaps never wake up again.

The sound of keys sounded on the other side of the door seconds before it was abruptly opened. Chris's figure appeared, his wide eyes carrying immense concern as they roamed Y/N's body, seeming to search for any injuries.

"Oh my God, you're freezing." He confirmed when he noticed her shaking, gently pulling her inside, before closing the door again. He rubbed his hands over Y/N's arms, which, even though they were covered by the fluffy jacket, were still extremely cold.

The warm air from the heater inside the house welcomed the girl's body gracefully, surrounding her like a thin blanket. She sighed, closing her eyes momentarily.

"Where the hell is Matt? I thought he was going to pick you up." Chris asked exasperatedly, helping her take her purse off her shoulder, hanging it on the rack next to the door.

Y/N felt her eyes fill with tears again at the mention of her boyfriend's name. An ugly sound of choked sobs escaping her throat caught Chris's attention, who stopped his movements and turned his eyes to her.

"Oh no, what did he do?" His tone was gentle as he approached, pulling her into a tight hug as he watched her shake her head in denial repeatedly, her lips trembling. "Let's go to my room, you need a hot shower and fresh clothes."

Chris slowly stepped away, keeping one of his hands on Y/N's shoulders, guiding her through the kitchen and down the stairs towards his own room.

The door was already open - being left like that when the boy rushed after receiving her call -, the two of them just passing through it before Chris closed it, keeping the hot air trapped between the four walls.

"Go take a shower, I'll get you some new clothes from your closet, okay? There's a clean towel in the cabinet under the sink." The boy indicated, watching his sister-in-law nod weakly, a low "thank you" escaping her lips before she could enter the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

It didn't take long for Y/N to step out again, already dressed in the Fresh Love sweatshirt set that Chris placed on the sink - just by putting his arm between the door and the frame.

Even though she wanted to melt like hot water and go down the drain just like her tears that fell imperceptibly, her feet hurt too much to support her weight for even another minute, begging for a rest.

Chris was sitting on the right side of the bed, his back against the headboard and his legs above the duvet, absentmindedly scrolling through his phone, seeming to be waiting for her.

The sound of the bathroom door closing attracted his attention, and he quickly locked his cell, putting it on the bedside table before tapping the empty space next to him, silently calling Y/N to sit there.

The girl walked to the indicated side, lifting the duvet and sitting on the mattress, staying in the same position as Chris, but with her legs covered.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" He asked calmly, watching her closely, trying to read her expressions, but seeing only an ocean of pain in every line of her face and eyes.

"Matt left me in the middle of the road." She swallowed hard, shaking her head while closing her eyes tightly. "We had a fight. My boss demanded from me to work overtime and I forgot to tell Matt, so he ended up waiting for me for an hour in his car. He was tired from the day and the week, and I think the stress built up on both our sides, and he just started yelling at me." Y/N shrugged, sniffing momentarily, trying to hold back her tears.

"Wait, he left you in the middle of the road, alone and in the cold? To come home walking?" Chris's eyes widened, a look of disbelief occupying his blue orbs as he tried to process the information.

"Yeah." The girl's voice sounded low and vulnerable, her head lowering and her eyes focusing on her hands above the duvet, feeling embarrassed by her boyfriend's actions. "I tried to intervene at some point, but he was so mad." She took a deep breath, biting her bottom lip hard, the pain almost numb next to the one she felt in her heart. "I don't know what I did wrong, Chris." Her voice broke, a dry sob escaping her throat.

"I'm so sorry for my brother's actions, Y/N." Chris sighed, shaking his head in disbelief. "I promise you did absolutely nothing wrong. Don't let those thoughts get the best of you."

"I just... Maybe I'm not really giving our relationship enough credit. Or maybe I'm not enough to fit into Matt's life patterns and busy days." She douted, playing with her fingers as a nervous act.

"Why don't you try to get some sleep? I imagine how tired you are and it's late. We can talk about this tomorrow, but try to clean your mind for now, okay?" He suggested.

Chris helped her lay down after receiving a nod of agreement, adjusting the duvet over her body. The girl moved her head, laying it on his left thigh, seeking comfort. He quickly put his hand on her hair, stroking the area calmly, lulling her into sleep.

After making sure she was already dreaming, the boy moved her slowly - so as not to wake her -, laying her completely on the mattress before getting up. He sat down in his gaming chair, crossing his legs on the seat.

Chris closed his eyes tightly, massaging his temples, trying to reduce the tension there. His eyes remained on Y/N's figure, caring for her sleep like a worried older brother, longing to have the power to erase the entire event from the girl's memory.

Matt would hear from him when he arrived.

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My asks are always open. Feel free to send requests or anything at all 🩷💋

And remember to treat people with kindness always!

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[kestisvrse]

you don’t know me

pairing ⋆ spidey!luke castellan x gn!reader au. fluff with a bit of angst. friends to lovers.

synopsis ⋆ spider-man appears at your window for help, and accidentally reveals his identity.

warnings ⋆ blood descriptions, stitching, swearing, stranger danger tbh, bit dramatic(?), kinda rushed i apologize | wc: 2.5k

a/n ⋆ i hate the ending of this so feel free to not read it😭😭

♫ - jackie and wilson by hozier

1:33am

it was hard trying to stay awake at this time, sound of the rain against your window and the soft snores of your roommates made it was easy to focus on closing your tired eyes instead of looking over all the notes scattered on your desk, it seemed nothing could stop you from drifting off to the peaceful place despite the thought of your sore neck in the morning from being slouched over your desk, but three taps against your window made your eyes shoot open.

he regretted it immediately, as he watched your head rise from the desk, but what else could he do? he gripped his side as he watched you mumble to yourself at the sight of spider-man on your fire escape, but you quickly opened the window.

“what the fuck?” you whisper at the sight, the heavy rain began to cover your window sill and floor but you didn’t even notice.

“hi, um i know this must seem very odd..” the superhero in front of you trailed off as you let him in, “shit, i’m bleeding on your carpet.”

“what- oh shit!” you gasp, noticing the giant gash he gripped on his torso, without a second thought you grabbed his hand and dragged him into your private bathroom, pushing him to sit on the toilet as you rummaged in your cupboards, as you pulled out a first-aid kit, you rummaged for supplies, “can i ask why the hell spider-man is bleeding in my bathroom right now?”

“i- i lost a lot of blood, i wouldn’t have been able to make it to my place in time.” he lied, “not to sound creepy but i saw your light on and.. and i needed help.”

“can you take the top half of your suit off?” you ask, washing your hands, as if you hadn’t even acknowledged what he had said. he nods, unzipping the back and removing his arms from the sleeves, letting the suit rest at his waist, his mask still hiding his identity, “this will hurt.” you warn, even though he had definitely experienced worse than a wound being wiped down.

but still he winced, clenching his jaw, as you realized it wasn’t just a cut, he had been stabbed.

“thank god you stumbled across a med-students dorm.” you mumble to yourself, trying to lighten the mood as you get ready to stitch his side together, as he went to laugh at your comment he was interrupted by a groan of pain emitting from his throat.

“i know it hurts, but try to be quiet. if you wake clarisse, my roommate up, she will not make this situation any better.” you say, luke holds back a laugh knowing it was definitely true, he bites down on his lower lip as you stitch him up. luckily it was a shallow cut,.

you worked in silence, occasionally broken up by strewn out swears and winces from the superhero, biting your lip in concentration. as you tied together the final stitch you let out a breath you hadn’t even realized you were holding.

“okay, the hard part is done.” you informed him, wiping down any excess blood that stained his skin.

“thanks.” he mutters weakly, moving to adjust his posture but immediately freezing as pain shoots up his body.

“stay still.” you say, “i still have to bandage it.” pulling out medical tape and gauze out of your medical bag, he felt as your hands occasionally slipped off the white bandage and touched his stomach. the pain almost subsided as the feeling of your fingertips burned into him. wrapping the bandage around his torso and taping it down you lean back on your knees, letting out a sigh.

he focuses on you as you stand, washing blood off your hands in the sink before cleaning up your supplies, you glance at him catching him staring, as he pretends to admire your bathroom as if he hadn’t been in here before.

“um-“ he clears his throat, “sorry for bleeding on your floor.” he mentioned, guilt evident in his voice.

“s’okay, i didn't like that carpet much anyways.” you say, which was a lie. luke remembered vividly how happy you were to get what you called, ‘the best rug ever’ for your room, his brows furrow.

you lean back against the bathtub, letting out a sigh, he goes to move but you nudge him with your foot, “don’t go just yet, won’t be good to swing on new stitches.” you explained to him, as he leaned back against the back of the toilet.

his breathing was sharp and inconsistent as his stomach stung in pain, his eyes squeezed shut, “the only thing i have for pain is like advil and tylenol. i don’t know if that helps with stab wounds though.” you spoke up, he shakes his head in response.

“i’ll be fine, just- just need to catch my breath.” to which you nodded in response.

“can i get you water?” you suggest, quickly standing as a ‘please’ is heard from under the mask, him suddenly noticing the scratchy and dry feeling of his throat. you rush out the room, tiptoeing into the kitchen to grab water for the superhero, as you return and hand it to him, you spin around so he can remove his mask.

his face was red as he watched you carefully, slipping his mask above his nose to gulp down the glass. scared you’d spin around to discover it was your friend bleeding out in the bathroom.

but you didn’t, as he pulled the mask back down and placed the cup on the counter, is when you turned and returned to your spot on the floor, bringing your knees to your chest.

he begins to shuffle uncomfortably on the toilet, breathing harder as his back slouched and his body tensed. the bandages felt tight on him, as he resisted the urge to rip them off, he was quickly distracted as you kneeled in front of him, placing your hand on his exposed wrist.

tingles shot up his body at the feeling of your skin against his again, it felt so odd, knowing he had hugged and brushed past you so many times but this was different, every touch had him blushing as butterflies flew around his stomach, he didn’t know you felt the same way, but with luke, not spider-man.

“control your breathing, your pulse is out of control.” you breathe, your pointer and middle finger pressed against his wrist feeling his pulse.

he began to focus on your breathing, watching as your chest rose and fell while you seemingly seemed focused on the wall of the bathroom. he quickly matched his breathing with yours, sitting up straight as your hand pulled away from him.

“thank you, for helping me.” he stammered, suddenly self conscious of his voice, how hadn’t you recognized it?

“i mean, what else was i supposed to do? there was a superhero at my window sill.” you scoff in disbelief, “it’s fine, i mean, it’s the least i can do for you keeping me- uh new york, safe.” you clear your throat, staring at your hands that rest atop your knees. “can i ask you something?”

his throat dries, “yeah?”

“i mean- obviously don’t answer if it’s too personal or gives away your identity, but.” you tilt my head, “do you like… live a normal life during the day? or are you always spider-man?” you ask cautiously.

he pauses to think about his answer, narrowing his eyes at you, “oh yeah, i-i do have a normal life during the day.” he confesses, the hand that grasped his stomach moves to scratch the back of his neck.

“cool.” you reply, stopping yourself from question him farther.

“you aren’t asking any questions,” he stated quietly, almost in disbelief. as he spoke, he shifted his attention to your face. “i was expecting some like freaked out reactions. but you’re... you’re really chill about this.”

“you have a secret identity for a reason, i wouldn’t want to ruin that for you. you keep the city safe, and that’s all i need to know.” you shrug in response, staring at the white eyes of his mask.

“i mean it’s so crazy.” you say randomly, causing his head to tilt in confusion, “i’ve thought about it before you know, imagine one of my friends was a masked superhero.” he tenses, knowing that in fact it was true, “like my friend luke, he’s always disappearing at random moments.” his eyes widen but you don’t notice because of the mask, chuckling to yourself at the thought.

“yeah, imagine that.” he murmurs in response, suddenly very sweaty in stress.

“how’re you feeling?” you turn your attention back to him.

“still hurts a lot, but i should go now.” he explains, his hand on the counter to steady himself as he stands, “again, thank you so much.”

you walk to the window, opening it and helping him climb out onto the fire escape, “again” you repeat him, “it’s the least i could do.”

4:56pm

you yawn as you open the door revealing luke castellan, bag swung over his shoulder and hair messy from the wind, he gave you a lopsided smile, “ready to study?”

you shake your head as he enters your apartment, “i was studying all night, barely got sleep.” you respond, leading him to your room.

he just nods his head at you in response, cheeks growing hot, sure you were studying, before his alter ego stumbled through your window.

as he walked into your room, he immediately took notice of the spot of your carpet that had been rolled over, to cover the evidence of the blood stain. his stare lingered there, before quickly collecting himself to sit on your bed.

“i made these flashcards for you last night.” you break the silence, holding up pastel green cards, “ready to be tested, castellan?” you tease, plopping onto the bed and leaning against the headboard as he takes his jacket off.

“oh bless you for those.” he praised, comfortably laying down at the end of your feet.

“just admit i’m your favourite person.” you giggle, he rolls his eyes before encouraging you to begin.

thirty minutes past as you tested him, reaching the end before you would swap over, “alright” you clear your throat, “next- luke?” your gaze drifts up from the card.

“yeah?” he asked, waiting for you to continue.

“you’re bleeding.” you point at his shirt, he looks down to find his blue t-shirt slowly bleed red, dripping down his side. immediately, he reacted by pressing down as hard as he could against the wound, a small whimper escaping his lips in the process.

“what-“ you cut yourself off, to look up into his eyes, eyes widening in the process “no fucking way.”

he tore his attention away from his wound, blood seeping into your bed sheets, “i-“ in a flash you’re up from the bed, cards spilling onto the floor as you yank him up causing him to yelp. he sits down on the toilet as you rummage for the first aid kit, again.

“take off your shirt.” you demanded, and despite the surprise this brought him, he didn’t resist. he removed his shirt almost immediately, revealing the bloody coated bandages.

you stared at his chest, the fact that it was the exact same as spider-mans made you wanna scream, but you held back, removing the bandages and staying quiet to patch him up, too scared to speak.

luke stayed silent, staring at you with sad eyes, praying you would forgive him. he winced every so often at the sting of you restitching some stitches that came loose, and rewrapping his stomach with fresh gauze.

your lips pursed together as you washed your hands, refilling the same cup from last night with water and placing it beside him before walking off into your room. luke quickly tugs hair shirt back on, ignoring the blood stain and the pain that shot up his body at the sudden movement, before going to stand in front of you in your room, “i’m sorry.” he whispers.

“you could have died, and it would have been my fault.” you remarked, “can you imagine? spider-man dies in my bathroom and i take his mask off to reveal my best fucking friend.” you scoffed, tears covering your waterline.

his expression softened, as he nudged your foot with his, “but i didn’t.”

“but you could have!” you yell, shooting up to stand in front of him, “jesus luke, this is what you’ve been doing all year? this is why you disappear all the time?” he stares at his shoes as you rub your forehead.

“i’m sorry,” he whispered, a sad expression covering his face, as he blinked rapidly, “i’m sorry for putting you through that. i didn’t mean to worry you.”

“you-you’re spider-man.” you gasp out, in disbelief. your hand clutches your chest as tears roll out onto your cheeks. his hand brushes your bicep as you flinch.

“yeah… yeah i am.” he sighs, guiding you to sit back down on your bed, “i wish i hadn’t come here last night but- i wouldn’t have been able to stitch that up myself.” he sighed as you sobbed into your hands.

“you could have died.” you choke out, repeating yourself before falling into his side, almost on instinct he wraps his arm around you, rubbing your back comfortingly. he knew you wouldn’t respond well if he had ever told you, but he hadn’t thought about how you would feel to him almost dying in your bathroom.

“i’m okay. i promise.” he breathed into your hair, but you just shook your head in response, unable to respond as you tried to catch your breath.

“i don’t care if i am fast asleep, if this ever happens again, you come to me luke, i stitch you up.” you begged, looking up to him teary eyed.

his gaze softens looking at you but nodded in response, “okay, i promise.” his hand hovers over you neck, “i didn’t want to put you in danger or worry you. i would have told you. i was also scared you wouldn’t… wouldn’t look at me the same” he whispered.

“you’re still luke castellan, i still will like you no matter what, you just… you scared the shit out of me.” you sputtered out, not thinking about what you were saying to the boy in front of you, his body tensed.

“like me?” he asks, brows furrowed to see if you meant as friends or.. as more. he got his answer as he watched your eyes widen slightly and you began to stutter, “you… you like me?”

“what- no i meant-“ you shake your head so hard he thought it might spin off, and so he took his chance. the hand that hovered over your neck held your face still as he connected his lips with yours.

you found yourself unable to kiss back in shock, he heats up in embarrassment as he began to pull away, which brought you to your senses as you pulled him back down to press a soft kiss against his lips.

he pulled away for air, leaning your foreheads against each other.

“i can’t believe i accused you of being a secret superhero, while infront of you last night.” you mumbled, as he just laughed in response and shook his head.

“i promise to be more safe, just for you.” he said, leaning in to peck your lips.

[a-b-riddle]

Part Four

Can't stop thinking about reader losing her cool.

"So we're closed, John." You said, trying to be cordial.

"Is that all you have to fucking say?" He practically growled before huffing. A humorless chuckle rumbling out of his chest. "I suppose not since you won't respond to any of us."

"Don't do that." You said taking a step back. Trying to create some distance between you and him. John would never physically hurt you. That much you knew.

"What?" He asked. His voice rising as he stepped closer to you. "Be angry that you pulled that shit and then left? Stopped talking to us. Changed your fucking locks. Last thing we even knew about you was that you got on a fucking plane and left. Even your friends wouldn't tell us anything besides that you were okay." "Which considering this came out of bloody nowhere, I find it highly unlikely that you are in any way 'okay'."

You took a deep breath. You wouldn't be intimidated. You wouldn't clam up. You wouldn't cry. You won't go back on your decision. You will be cordial and polite and not unleash everything you want to.

"I understand you might be upset, but it's for the best. It wasn't working out and I wanted to end on somewhat good terms. I would appreciate it if you lowered your voice and stopped speaking to me in that way." You could barely recognize your voice. It sounded so scripted. So robotic. But it was something you had been telling yourself. Excuses you had been telling yourself.

Because if you told yourself the truth. The picture you would paint would tell a different story. It wouldn't highlight the fact that John spoke to you like he was one of your men or that Johnny had the emotional capacity of a teaspoon. It wouldn't show what a flake Kyle was or that Simon was well and truly a mean-spirited person.

It would show how you weren't worth it. Four possible men. Four possibilities of happily ever after and none of them chose you. That no one ever did and no one ever would. You weren't worth it. You weren't loveable.

It wasn't right, but it was what the voices had been telling you late in the night. When you would crawl into your cold bed. The silence of the room not filled with John's steady breathing or the sound of Kyle's heartbeat as you laid you head on his chest. The absence of Johnny's occasional snoring or whatever Simon was watching playing in the background of your dreams.

In the void, all your dark thoughts came back at you.

"Upset?" He asked, his voice still louder than you would have liked. "An understatement considering the stunt you pulled."

"You think it was a stunt?"

"So Johnny thought with his dick and didn't plan things out. You should have told him instead of crying to Simon and then pulling this shit." "Christ, I knew you were still young, but I didn't take you for that immature."

"You know what?" "I'm done." "I am so fucking sick of making excuses for you all." "You want to act like I'm the immature one, John?" "You are 35-year-old man who cannot separate his work from his work like. You have continuously talked to and down to me like I am one of your men, only to turn around and always blame your shitty fucking attitude on work. I get that your job is stressful, but I did not sign up to be your verbal fucking punching bag."

"And this come and fucking go incident with Johnny. It has been a consistent issue with him coming over just to fuck. I've asked him for that last six months that 'hey, we've been seeing each other for a year and a half, I would love to meet your family' and suddenly the dates stop. He doesn't ask to see me until after 7 PM. He brings food occasionally, fucks me and leaves. Sometimes before I even wake up."

"And the only reason Kyle is the person I am the least pissed off with is because I haven't even seen him." You took a step closer, not noticing how the anger in John's eyes had softened. "I have not seen Kyle in weeks, to no fault of my own. I stopped reaching out to make dinner plans after the third time he canceled on a date night when I was either on my way or already at the restaurant."

"And Simon?" You scoffed. "Well, it doesn't really matter. After all, as he said I get mine. You all make me cum which is supposed to magically erase how shitty you've all been as partners. It's supposed to erase the nights I've cried myself to sleep debating on whether or not there was something wrong with me. How I'm not good enough to meet anyone else in your lives like some dirty fucking secret. How none of you can even bother to pencil me for a group dinner so I can tell you a publishing house picked up my book. How at some point you all stopped caring or maybe never did."

You took a breath. Blinking quickly to keep the tears at bay.

You wouldn't cry. You wouldn't cry.

"As Simon said it best, I should have known that spreading my legs wouldn’t end with one of you putting a ring on your finger.”

For once, John was silent. Unsure of what to say. An apology starting to form at the tip of his tongue before realizing 'sorry' wouldn't cut it. Not this time.

Had he really been that sharp with you? He knew that there were times he had gotten short, but he almost always apologized immediately after. If not at the very moment he took in your crest-fallen face, then definitely later. But he almost always told you he was sorry. Didn't he?

"So as I said," you swallowed down the lump in your throat. "I'm closed. We're done. Now get out." Your face held no sadness. Even though your eyes were nearly full to the brim with unshed tears, you weren't sad.

You were finally angry.

[hairmetal666]

Steve doesn't date, not anymore. He goes to bars, clubs, picks people up and makes it clear it's just for the night; that it can't, won't, be for anything more.

He falls too fast and too hard; wants so badly to be loved that he loses himself to it. So, he doesn't date and he's fine. More than fine, actually. Not worrying about finding someone, about falling in love, lets him truly enjoy his life; maybe for the first time since childhood.

He goes with Robin to visit her parents in Hawkins, wakes up at the ass crack of dawn to go for a run. With the sun barely up, he doesn't expect to come face-to-face with Eddie Munson, smoking on a park bench.

They startle each other in the early Hawkins quiet, Eddie jumping hard enough that he drops his cigarette into the dirt at his feet.

"Christ, Harrington!" He snarls a little.

"Fuck, Eddie." Steve fights to catch his breath. "What are you doing out this early?"

He glances up, finds Eddie's eyes raking over this body in a way that makes him go hot all over.

"Haven't been home yet." Eddie smirks. And he can see that's true, Eddie is fully dressed, faint lines of mascara trail across his cheeks.

"Had a show?"

"Something like that." Eddie's cheeks pink, and he pulls a chunk of hair over his face.

Understanding dawns, and Steve points at him, delighted laugh bubbling in his throat.

"Don't--"

"You had an all night Hellfire meeting?" Steve cackles.

"Shut--Harrington, shut-up." But he's smiling too. "I'm in town this weekend. Dustin insisted!"

"You can tell him no, you know?" Steve giggles.

"Like you ever could."

Eddie stands then, and they hug, quick and tight. He practically crumbles into his friend's body, but then, that's nothing new. Steve breathes him in, immediately comforted by the familiarity of tobacco and leather and sweat and weed.

"I'm at Rob's. Come say hi?"

Eddie nods and they trek back together. They kept in touch, after Vecna, and their chatting is easy, like it's not been six months since the last time.

Eddie stays for breakfast tells them with a smile, "I was gonna call but--I'm moving to Chicago. That's why I'm crashing at Wayne's for now, stopped on the way--"

The rest of his words are smothered by the force of Steve and Robin's hug, Steve's heart beating an elated rhythm he doesn't bother investigating.

--

When Eddie makes it to town, they hang out as constantly as an adult with a day job and a touring musician can. It's nice, good, to see Eddie sitting on their couch. To watch him smoke a joint on the balcony. To hangout in his bed as he works on new music. It's just like the summer of '86, before they all went off to find their futures.

They're closer than they've ever been. Crashing at each other's apartments, sharing clothes, meeting for coffee and drinks and meals. There's not a day or night when they're free that they don't spend together.

Steve knows he's falling for Eddie; was halfway there already, and now--well, Eddie's beautiful and funny and smart and talented. He doesn't make a move, though. Because Eddie'll leave, like they all do, and losing Eddie will crush him more than anyone else ever has.

--

In June, Eddie's gone for a month, touring across the midwest. The day he's expected back, Steve's in the kitchen, rolling up fresh pasta, simmering sauce on the stove.

Robin stomps in, eyes flashing. "What are you doing?"

"Making dinner?" Steve raises an eyebrow.

"Steve."

"Robin."

They glare at each other across the kitchen. Steve breaks first. "What's wrong with making our friend dinner?"

"I don't want either of you to get hurt."

Steve freezes, swallows. "I'm not--I'm--I wouldn't."

"Just. Promise you'll be careful?"

He nods, squeezes his hands into fists. "Course, Rob."

And he means it, he really does, but when Eddie lets himself in, Steve runs to the doorway to pull his friend into a tight hug.

Eddie huffs out a burst of air on impact, laughing lightly. "Miss me, sweetheart?"

"So much," Steve whispers. He presses his nose into Eddie's neck, breathing him in, and he doesn't miss the way a kiss is pressed into his hair, the way Eddie's breathing him in too.

They fall into their natural rhythm immediately, Eddie following him to the kitchen, cooing and posturing that Steve made him dinner.

As Steve serves up the food, Eddie wraps his arms around his waist, leaning against his back. God help him, but Steve can't help relax into the hold, turning his head until their eyes meet.

Desire bleeds from Eddie's gaze, and Steve's breath hitches. He wants this so badly, knows he shouldn't, but he lets himself lean in until they share air.

But--he can't lose Eddie. He can't.

He turns away, lets the moment die. Eddie doesn't stay over that night, and Steve pretends like it doesn't make his stomach hurt.

--

They aren't as close after that.

Steve keeps telling himself it's because they're busy. The school year's starting up, Steve's got lesson plans to write; Eddie made an EP, it got interest, he's taking meetings in New York and LA. It's okay that they're spending less time together.

Until Eddie stops returning his calls.

He tries not to worry. But one call becomes two, becomes three, and he can't help it. He goes over, dread a knot in his stomach. Eddie opens the door, and he's shirtless with sweatpants slung low on his hips, hair loose and streaming around his shoulders. He looks happy.

"Steve? What are you--"

"You weren't answering my calls, and--can I come in?"

Eddie winces. "It's not a good time, Harrington."

He stands there for a second, stung, not sure what to say.

"Eddie, I--"

"Babe?" A voice calls from inside the apartment. "Who's at the door?"

Steve freezes. Can't think, can't move. He hopes it isn't obvious that his heart is shattering, but Eddie's blinking at him, panic written in the lines gathering on his forehead.

"Steve, Stevie, please," Eddie is saying, but he can't do this. He can't do this.

He walks away, all the way home, numb to everything around him.

The phone's ringing when he gets to the apartment. He ignores it. Goes to his room, locks himself in, crawls into bed.

The phone keeps ringing. He keeps ignoring it.

It isn't supposed to be like this. They weren't dating, weren't trying for a relationship; Eddie's supposed to be his. He curls into himself, sobs until his ribs hurt, until his eyes are as heavy as his heart, and he falls asleep.

--

Steve startles awake, disoriented, to someone knocking on his bedroom door. He has no idea what time it is, how long he slept, but he expects Robin to be waiting in the hall.

It's Eddie. Hair in a messy bun, face flushed, eyes too bright.

"I'm sorry," falls out of Steve's mouth before he can think of anything else.

"Steve, I--I don't--" Eddie shakes his head. "Do you want to be in a relationship with me?"

"Yes," Steve whispers. "But I can't lose you, Eddie."

Eddie reaches out, slender hand, cupping Steve's jaw. "I need you to really listen when I say this, sweetheart. You will never, ever lose me. Not a chance."

"You can't know that," Steve says. Tears break free, cascade down his cheeks. "I used to think who could ever leave me? You know, back before Nancy. But I realized that actually no one would stay. And I can't--with you I can't--"

"Sweetheart," Eddie chokes on a sob. "I'm yours. Have been for years. I will never, ever leave you, no matter what we are to each other. But I can't be in some of a relationship with you. You have me wrapped around your finger, and I--I need it all, Steve."

"I want you to have it, Eddie." He presses his hand to his heart. "This belongs to you, but I--I couldn't survive you leaving."

"I would stay, Steve. I will. I promise on everything I have, everything I am, that you would never, ever lose me."

Steve stumbles into Eddie's arms, totally gone, and their mouths meet in a clumsy kiss. It wrecks Steve, tears him apart, renders him down to his smallest parts only to build him back together. He knows now for certain that there is no one else in the world for him.

They break apart, but don't move out of each other's orbit. "I love you," Steve whispers.

"Stevie, sweetheart, I love you more than anything." His fingers wind their way into Steve's hair, gentle, holding him. "I promise you'll have me for forever--fuck, longer than forever. My soul will find yours wherever we end up. I swear it."