#anyHoW here is one of my other faves

[5eraphim]

ok sooooooo, i have no idea a plot for this, but i am BEGGING for a threeway with vampire engie and vampire spy, they are my faves and i really like how you write them, and yeah the smut here is ELITE i had the prompt "you'll do what i ask, I know you will" but i'll take anything with these two 😭

I know exactly how you feel! I feel like my personal list of faves is always shuffling, but these two STAY top tier ૮ ˶´ ᵕˋ ˶ა

Also like, I have so much respect and love for you to just jam them together in a request and stuff it into my inbox like two little paper dolls and, ok- that sounds like i'm being sarcastic, but I'm really not! I love requests that are like, "i love (x) so much, can I please see him doing something crazy" anyhow- thank you so, so much for the request, I hope you enjoy!

Here is a link to the Dub-con prompts!

here is a link to Vampire Engie's drabble

here is Spy's Vampire drabble

(You don't need to read both drabbles to understand this, but here a few notes about my vampire AU: Engie is the most recently turned vampire and isn't able to control himself well, and tries his hardest to maintain his humanity. Spy has been a vampire the longest and has masterful control over his vampiric hunger, as well possessing supernatural gifts for psychological manipulation (illusions and compulsion).)

Title: The Chateau

Characters: The Engineer 🦫 and The Spy 🐍 (Team Fortress 2)

Rating: X (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, GO PLAY OUTSIDE)

Content Warnings: dubcon, Dark! characterization, corruption kink, sexual venom, three-way, hostage situation, coercion, blood drinking, degradation, implied bad ending, AFAB reader/female pronouns and terms used, reader is a masochist, Spy is a massive jerk and bullies Engie and reader

Word Count: 7.4k

MASTER LIST

TIP JAR

"He licked my blood off his fingers. He loves me, I thought. He completely and totally loves me."

Engie was a monster. Not born a monster, but now an ex-human cursed to drink blood and prowl the night to sustain himself eternally. It was a cruel fate, but not one demanding the slaughter of innocent humans to live. Engie assured himself so long as he kept to drinking the blood of animals, not using his newfound immortality for evil or supernatural wiles to otherwise cause harm, he could still, in good faith, call himself a "good man." As if Engie could use his vampiric abilities even if he wanted to, Engie was content pretending they didn't exist, another minuscule way to make himself feel human.

Perhaps most humans would disagree with him, but when there were so many other vampires crawling about at night, ready to sink their teeth into any living body that crossed their path, Engie could be content with this. In life, he was an engineer and a farmhand and had pastures of cattle to siphon from in death. He believed this would be enough to get by with as long as he had to live on like this.

But the temptation was always there. The hunger and thirst were relentless, but no pain was worth sacrificing his humanity. Or so he told himself. But no one, supernatural or mortal, could survive on willpower alone forever. And every night, Engie could feel that terrible thirst to drink from a living human coming back stronger and stronger, no matter how much he drank from his livestock, it simply wasn't enough anymore to get by on, and it wasn't long 'till he reached his breaking point. 

The timing was almost too perfect. An invitation from an alleged "charitable benefactor with mutual acquaintances" invited Engie for the meal of his life at his chateau, all free of charge. The invitation from a vampire who called himself "Spy," someone Engie had never met himself, though he knew from being mentioned by mutual friends, claiming he owed a favor to their shared friend and would be honored for the chance to host Engie's first proper feeding. It was all too remarkably convenient. Engie was sure there was a catch in all this somewhere. But after mulling the decision over for a few hours, he found himself at the address provided in the letter that night.

The hunger was particularly aggressive that night. He'd been isolated at his ranch for so long the noise and excitement of the city at night was nearly too much to endure. When he arrived, the moment the front door opened, Engie couldn't help but get a head rush, catching the aroma of the house from the outside. There was blood in there; it was fresh and human, and by God, did he want it more than anything. 

Upon meeting Spy, Engie found himself just as distrusting and suspicious of the vampire as his first intuition warned him to be, though he reckoned it was too late to turn back now. The only thing he could do now was follow the older vampire as he led him deeper into his estate.

The chateau was massive, opulent, nothing less than an architectural masterpiece, but hardly inviting. The inside was equally as posh as the exterior, adorned with furniture that appeared far too ornate to get comfortable in and massive portraits with eyes that followed Engie as he strode down the corridors a few paces behind Spy. Nearly all the doors were closed and presumably locked. Spy led his guest swiftly down halls and upstairs, knowing the layout of his grand estate like the back of his hand. 

Neither of the vampires bothered with small talk during the route, which Engie was grateful for. From his first impression of the man, Engie could tell Spy was distinguished and curt- he'd never bother small-talking with some peasant like Engie. 

Despite Engie knowing he and Spy were both vampires, there was some unspeakable, insurmountable difference between the two of them Engie couldn't ignore. While Engie meandered, hesitantly and blindly following the aroma of blood, trying his hardest to remain composed in front of his host, Spy managed to stride with grace and assuredness to his prey. Whatever reservations and lingering humanity Spy might've once held onto was long gone now. And Engie shuddered to imagine himself succumbing to the same fate, should he remain a vampire as long as Spy had. 

At last, Spy led Engie to a door, hidden far away in a quiet corner absolved of nearly all light, where Spy paused to pull a key from his pocket to unlock the door. While Engie could smell fresh blood nearby, mouth-wateringly close, he couldn't help but be slightly surprised and spoke quietly, more to himself than Spy, "You keep your prime blood supply hidden away like this?"

Spy looked down at Engie, unable to mask his smugness, "All for security, of course. I can't risk just anyone trying to get in here."

Engie nodded, "I see."

Spy's smile tightened briefly, "You're a privileged man to indulge in such a luxury. I hope you understand that."

Before Engie could respond, he heard the door's lock yield, and an intense waft of fresh blood overwhelmed him as the door was opened. At last, the final barrier between Engie and tantalizing human blood was gone, and he could feel his entire body buzzing with eagerness. Engie's eyes drifted shut as he inhaled deeply through his nose, swallowing the saliva that filled his mouth. The hunger which plagued Engie for months now, at last so nearly satisfied, the sensation as painful as it was pleasurable. He could practically feel his stomach gurgling and his toes curling in his boots as he opened his eyes to the sight before him.

The humble exterior gravely betrayed the interior in extravagance and size, as the room was easily twice as large as the shadowy door inclined him to believe. As Engie stepped inside, he felt the air rushing from his lungs, inhaling the scent of blood accented by the rosey aroma of candles burning, the only lighting in the room, as with the rest of the house, there were no windows. Drawing into the room, he felt like he was stepping into a scene straight out of a fairytale, the space before him adorned with riches he couldn't even imagine. Bookshelves with thick leather-bound novels, a crystal vanity, fur rugs plush deep enough to sink your ankles into, a record player humming softly in the corner, and countless glittering trinkets scattered about. As though every status symbol imaginable were compiled tastefully in the room, styled to perfection by the master of the house.

But despite all the room's ornate decorum, the real showstopper was the massive bed. It was constructed to look like a white swan, its graceful neck and chest curved at the foot of the oval-shaped mattress, with little obsidian gems in place of the swan's eyes, catching the flickering light of the candles. The sides of the bed were cradled by immaculately carved white wings with cream-colored feathers. And at the head of the bed, a lushly padded backboard stretched over halfway up the wall, curved in a lovely shell-like arc overhead serving as the swan's tail. How long it must take to precisely set the bed was beyond Engie, but despite the lavishness of the bed, his full attention was on the warm body in the center of the bed where you lay, surrounded by silky white pillows, laying atop the bed's single sheet.

The moment his eyes landed on you, the vampire found himself mesmerized. Despite appearing dwarfed by the massive bed around you, he was acutely aware of the hot blood running through your veins, the beating of your heart calling out to him like a siren's song. Clad in nothing but a sheer thin-strapped white nightgown, the hem's just barely grazing your knees. The fabric shone hypnotically, entrancingly on the room's low lighting, and was thin enough to give him a peek at the soft skin underneath. Despite how flimsy the nightie was, Engie noted that your neck, shoulders, and chest were kept temptingly bare. It's a bed fit for a queen, alright, but not one you were allowed to leave. He thought to himself.

Spy waited for Engie to fully enter the room before locking the door behind him. Casually, he made his way to the far side of the bed, shedding his blazer and hanging it on the chair beside the bed as he regarded your motionless body, gently caressing the side of your cheek with his knuckle. The eerie, almost surreal sight before him made Engie hesitate, despite his torturous desire, "But why me? Why give a stranger something so… extraordinary?"

"A stranger? You are my guest, are you not? What host would I be if I didn't provide top-quality provisions for my guests?" Spy spoke, petting at the top of your head, almost crooning. Engie could see how uncomfortable you were, laying on your back with your hands clasped over your chest in bed, starting over ahead, appearing frightfully similar to a corpse in a casket. Or like a taxidermied deer, slain, stuffed, and posed just so by another with no bodily autonomy of your own. Seeing you lying there, looking more lifeless than the undead men in the room, was unnerving.

Engie didn't have to look twice to know you'd been in this position before. He didn't draw too far into the room, not wanting to get too close to the bed, still unsure if he could fully trust Spy yet.

Engie pursed his lips together. He didn't want to believe a thing this shifty man had to say, but he had to admit, the blood running through your veins was calling his name. Spy continued in his comfortably haughty manner, "You really should be thanking me. Do you have any idea how many lowlife, street vampires would kill for the chance for a real meal, let alone one so well-cultivated?" As Spy spoke, he didn't look away from Engie, but his hands kept in motion. Going from petting the top of your head to using his fingers to tousle your hair. His other hand on your shoulder began to tug suggestively at the nightgown's strap, giving Engie a little peek at the warm human skin hardly concealed beneath the sheer fabric. The erotic display is almost enough to make him forget about the Frenchman indirectly calling him low class. 

Engie observed the two of you, trying to pick up on any discomfort or agitation from you, but whatever Spy had done to you before now conditioned you well. Training you to keep docile, still, and well-behaved around Spy's company. You didn't try to struggle away or fight back when Spy's hand moved from your hair to the side of your cheek, pulling off his gloves and setting them by his jacket before using the side of his thumb to caress your skin.

Unsure of what to say next, Engie stepped forward, eyes locked on the exposed flesh of your neck, the expanse of space growing as Spy continued pulling down on the nightgown strap until it entirely slipped from your shoulder. He was so close now. It was like he could taste all the hot blood running through your veins on the tip of his tongue.

Engie's eyes focus on Spy's thin, slightly bony hand on his body before looking up at his face, "You don't want- You're not gonna make me kill her, are you?"

Spy's eye twitched as he forced himself to maintain his smile, briefly failing to completely hide his annoyance with Engie's continued hesitation. That pesky lingering humanity would be trickier to drive out than Spy thought. Nevertheless, he wasn't about to give up. There was nothing Spy loved more than a challenge, getting inside someone's head and finding out exactly how to push them to their breaking point. To bring out people's deeper, darker, more bestial nature.

"No need to worry about this one. She's done this all before. She's been trained exceptionally well to withstand the pain of feeding." Spy could tell Engie's hesitation and resolve were crumbling by the second. With more confidence, he continued, "But if you would rather go back to your little backwater ranch to suckle cattle for the rest of your afterlife, I suppose I can't stop you."

It hurt to hear, but Spy was right. Engie was sick to death of drinking the blood of animals. Sure, it stopped the thirst, but it never satisfied. He could drain a cow of all its blood. It was nothing compared to just a few drops of human blood, especially when complimented delectably by a bit of human adrenaline and fear. 

Despite your ability to keep the fear from showing on your face, Engie was well aware of how your heart raced as Spy forced you to remain passive. Engie knew at that moment he could refuse himself the indulgence no longer. 

Drawing in a shaking breath, Engie resigned. "I'll drink, but only one bite." 

Spy nodded politely, a smirk of satisfaction spreading across his face. "An excellent decision."

Hearing the satisfaction in Spy's voice was nearly enough to convince Engie to back out of the deal then and there, but as much as he hated to admit it, Spy was absolutely right: Engie would be insane not to accept a free meal of such high quality. He drew just a bit closer until his shins brushed against the side of the bed opposite Spy, wrapping his hand around your wrist, his mouth already watering at the thought of a quick bite, getting to feel your pulse against his lips and tongue when Spy intervened, placing a hand over Engie's halting his movement.

Engie looked at Spy, confused, as he let go of Engie's hand before sitting up from the side of the bed. With a dry chuckle, Spy spoke, "You classless hick-laborers are all the same, always in such a rush. Not tonight. You're going to learn to take your time."

Spy produced a gold switchback knife from his pocket. The blade was small but glistened gorgeously in the low lighting, and even from across the bed, Engie knew it was exceptionally well crafted.

"Seems like an awful lot of trouble for just one bite…" 

Spy had to bite his tongue to keep himself from saying something derogatory. It would be too easy to deride the Texan again for not knowing proper feeding etiquette. However, he resisted the temptation, not wanting to risk spoiling Engie's meal before it even started. As little as he cared for Engie, he'd promised them to show him the true value of human blood. Spy was a man of his word. Instead, he turned his inner frustrations to you, leaning his head to meet your eye, holding the side of your neck, forcing you to look straight at him, hissing directly into your ear, "Give him a taste. He is my guest. You will treat him as such." 

Despite no actual threat in his words, the coldness of his voice and pointed tone warned you of what might happen if you were to try and disobey. His lips twisting upwards into a sinister imitation of a smile, he added, "You'll do what I say. I know you will."

Nodding, you tried your hardest to still your trembling hands as you accepted the gold blade from your lord before handing it to the other man beside you. Engie looked at you with pity, and you wondered if you looked as pathetic as you felt. It wasn't the first time Spy called on you to entertain company. Honestly, he was apt to pick on you specifically, volunteering your blood for his guests to taste. Spy spoke so highly of how you tasted, praising you and all you had to offer, but outside of feeding sessions, Spy was nothing but cold and controlling, and you knew you'd never be anything more than food to him. No matter how often you were in this situation, Spy never once warmed up to you, and no matter how much blood you gave, he was never satisfied. 

Gritting your teeth, you clenched your fist and turned the arm facing Engie palm side up. Watching as he positioned the razor-sharp blade against the thin skin beneath the bend of your elbow, he held the tip here momentarily before swiping your flesh with the knife just deep enough to break the skin. The blade was wickedly sharp and didn't hurt at all. Spy saw to it his guests were given nothing but the finest dining wear when feeding at his estate. And it wasn't long until a few shiny little beads of blood formed along the slit. Using the knife's blade, he scraped along the cut, collecting some fresh blood on the edge before bringing it to his face to inspect.

Engie was hypnotized by his appetite and thirst igniting at the sight of the fresh blood. While Spy kept his attention focused on you. Spy's thumb slid along the lips of the cut, collecting a few red beads of blood prickling at the cut's surface before using his tongue to swipe his finger clean. It was disheartening to feel a familiar sense of grief as you waited for your lord and his guest to settle down to feed from you as he'd done time and time before. The familiarity did nothing to quell your unease. You'd suffer so many "meals" with Spy, and they never got easier as time passed. Now that there was another to feed, you could do nothing but expect the worst. 

Spy watched with satisfaction as Engie lingered momentarily to smell the tiny smear of blood on the knife's tip. He could practically see the other man's mouth water from where he sat. The moment Engie's mouth made contact with your blood, he was almost suckling from the blade, the taste every bit as rich and satisfying as he'd hoped. The rich flavor and subtle undertones of fear made Engie moan out loud as he was lost in his internal bliss. 

But just as soon as it started, it was all over, leaving Engie with nothing but the feeling of a cold knife coated in his own drool in his mouth. Letting out a shaky breath, Engie lowered the blade, his eyes a bit darker now, hungrier and more predatory, making you wonder which vampire you genuinely feared more at the moment.

Spy too, picked up on Engie's inhibitions, vanishing near-instantly, smirking a little to himself, trying not to sound too condescending. "Care for another taste, my friend?"

After sucking his own thumb clean, Spy turned his fangs to you, leaning over from across the bed to kiss the wound, his lips pressing against the warm, slightly stinging cut before opening his mouth enough to allow his teeth to graze over your skin, enjoying the familiar warmth of blood rushing beneath the skin as he muttered, "good girl" against your skin. He'd need to hold back a little if he wanted to be a good host tonight. It wouldn't be easy and hardly his style, but he knew he could do it if it was just for one night. 

Engie nodded and was about to return his attention to the already formed cut on your arm, but Spy continued, sliding from his position at your side on the bed, moving down to sitting at your feet, leaving the space behind your head empty. 

Spy patted at the space he shifted from, motioning for Engie to move into place there, "Go for the neck next."

He didn't need any further invitation as he encroached closer. "So much for just one bite," you thought miserably. While the sample of your blood whet his appetite, he knew it paled compared to how you would taste while feeding from the flesh. As though the starved vampire needed any further incentive. 

Engie didn't want to hurt you, but his good intentions were effectively silenced by his hunger. His eyes were glued on your neck and clavicle and the bare part of your chest uncovered by the flimsy nightgown as he crawled into bed, sliding behind you as you allowed him to prop you up and adjust you to his liking until you were comfortably within his hold. For someone who claimed to be so staunchly against consuming human blood, you couldn't help but notice how he perfectly found the spots vampires used to grip onto when feeding from their victims, his mouth aligning exactly where you'd felt the awful pain of a vampire's bite several times before. 

Even before Engie bit down, you knew this was gonna hurt. No matter how hesitant a first-time feeder was, they were helpless to control their hunger. The more experienced could make even the deepest bites pleasurable for both the host and vampire, but that took years of practice and not from feeding on animals.

Finally, after he couldn't wait another moment, Engie took his first bite in earnest. He was decisive, targeting a weak point on your neck, drawing upon all those nights of hunger to give him the strength to make the first bite count. On instinct- you pulled away, no matter how many times you'd been fed upon, you couldn't conquer the primal human instinct to flinch and try to protect yourself. Though, just as your instincts told you to pull away, Engie told him to tighten his grip, his arm wrapped around your waist tightened so harshly, you felt the air squeezed from your lungs. His fingers pressed harder on the bottom of your jaw and cheek, forcing you to stay put. 

It hurt. It always hurt. But to your surprise, it was far from the worst pain you'd felt during a feeding. Some vampires you'd fed were sadistic, doing everything they could to make you scared and in agony, as it made the blood taste best. Still, you could tell Engie was too hungry to care about heightening your fear or anything other than quenching that awful thirst that had tormented him for months.

For a split second, you ease your tension, releasing a breath you didn't realize you were holding, slacking enough to stop pulling away from Engie. He moaned loudly to himself between full-mouthed gulps of hot blood. You had no idea how much he'd taken, but you could tell he was drinking fast and couldn't help but let your mind dull and let the early light-headedness dampen your senses and let your mind begin to drift off. That was until you felt a sharp prick against your thigh. Spy was still on the bed, sitting by your legs, knife still in hand, the intimidating look on his face snapping you right back to reality. 

"Don't get too comfortable. And don't forget you're feeding two tonight." His voice was hushed; it was almost hard to hear over the messy swallowing of the vampire feeding right by your ear, but you got the message. If you were smart, you would close your eyes and allow the vampires to feast without struggle. Maybe you'd even get lucky and pass out and sleep through the feeding session, but for some reason, you couldn't take your eyes off Spy. 

As much as you despised him, you were equally captivated. Using the tip of the knife to push the nightie's hem up to your upper thigh, he dug the tip in harder, little by little the higher he went. Just the light pressure had you on edge all over again- Spy always somehow knew how to keep you like this, afraid of his next move, even without using excessive force. Knowing just how to paralyze you with fear while hardly breaking the skin. Partially on account of his supernaturally charged abilities, partially on account of his general disposition.

Watching Spy nimbly tracing his knife over your bare flesh made you shudder, unconsciously pressing yourself closer to Engie to try and distance yourself from Spy. Engie could feel your trembling body pressing against his, but his mind was still blank with ecstasy as he feasted, one hand fisting your hair, the other hugging your torso against his stocky body protectively. 

Around this time, your head typically started throbbing. Engie had slowed down slightly, but the blood loss was slowly catching up with you. Your head started to feel heavy, but you were too scared to close your eyes.

Engie paused, feasting for a moment as he felt something wet trickling down your cheek distracting him. To finally get a good look at what he'd done to you, to see the color drained from your lips and cheeks, the cold sweat clinging to your brow, though most noticeably the dark circles under your eyes which accentuated your fear beautifully. He'd almost forgotten about the other man in the room and fully believed himself responsible for your state.

"You look so scared, you're shaking… My God, you're so beautiful when you're scared." Engie, as though forgetting all about the messy smear of blood clinging to his chin, running down his neck, pressed his lips to the side of your slightly cold lips, moaning against you as though too shy to go in for a full kiss, despite sucking the life out of your neck only seconds ago. 

"Your fear- it tastes so good!" For a moment he continued to nuzzle his face against yours with an almost child-like affection while you forced yourself not to flinch at the feeling of your own blood smearing across your face.

"You've tasted fear, laborer- but perhaps you'd like to taste a bit of pleasure as well?" Without warning, Spy gripped the bottom hem of your nightgown, the knife against your thigh flicked upward, slicing a long slit in the sheer fabric up to your bottom ribs with a soft tearing sound. While Spy originally intended to preserve the gown, Engie's sloppy eating stained the collar and bodice beyond repair. Watching other vampires ruin his valuables with slovenly carelessness usually infuriated Spy, but for some reason, he found great pleasure in watching the fledgling vampire feed. Watching his humanity slowly drain while his vampiric venom began to take control of his mind. 

All vampires could produce venom when feeding, an ancient ability vampires used during primal times to keep victims still and compliant during a feast. The poison, released through a gland in the mouth by the vampire's teeth, entered the victim's body once bitten, causing heightened light-headedness and disorientation. The toxin would also affect the vampire as it was ingested while eating, making them feel hungrier, lowering inhibitions, and sexually charged. Spy knew Engie likely never truly felt enough excitement while feeding to produce his own venom, and he had to admit, watching Engie experience this for the first time pleased him immensely.

Nothing was more arousing to Spy than control, and the scene unfolding before him was like a fantasy brought to life- the fledgling losing his mind, letting his monstrous impulses take over while his lovely little captive mortal could do nothing but take the abuse, your human heart pumping more and more hot blood just for them. You and Engie were losing battles against animalistic impulses while Spy remained stone-faced and in total control.

Engie froze up at the sight of your now-bare skin, just now realizing you weren't wearing anything beneath the dress. Spy's hand crept higher, from hip to waist, dragging his sharp nails over vulnerable skin, giving you goosebumps. Engie lifted his arm from around your chest to secure both hands on your shoulders to keep you from swimming too much.

Spy had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing out loud at the look on Engie's face, practically sweating with arousal, no doubt mind going blank on account of the fresh venom in his system. He folded the knife, putting it back in his pocket, before using both hands to pull the sides of the slit he made, tearing the poor dress in two. Engie moved his hands just enough to allow the dress to fall off your shoulders as he pulled the tattered remains of the dress from your body.

Spy settled between your legs, your upper body relaxing against Engie's, trying to ignore the way you could hear the sloshing of your own blood in his belly whenever he moved. While Engie removed your dress, Spy undid his button-down shirt, discarding it, hanging it by his blazer, but keeping his dress pants and belt on. 

Spy sat back on his haunches, watching Engie feeling up your bare skin with an amusement that bordered on giddiness. "You know, laborer, it's ironic you were so concerned about hurting her. Would you like to know why?" His voice is low and sharp, speaking with the confidence of someone who knows they're entirely in control of everyone else in the room.

Engie nodded, unable to take his eyes off Spy as he crawled closer, watching him grip both your thighs in his hands, fingers digging into the skin. "Let me tell you a secret about her, something she'd never dare tell anyone- but one so obvious to men like me."

Without warning, Spy dug his thumbnails harshly into your inner thighs, making you yelp. Arching your back, pushed closer to Engie while Spy kept your legs locked in place. 

"She likes it rough. She wants you to hurt her. Getting rough turns her on- she'll act obedient and innocent but under that sweet face. She's nothing but a whore."

Your eyes went wide and you shook your head, trying to crane your neck enough to look back at Engie, to beg him not to listen to him, but given your position it was impossible to see his face, still you begged. "N-no, no! It's not true! I'm not like that!" 

Your heart sank as Engie replied, "You sure about that, sweets?" 

You were about to try and twist around to beg again when Spy harshly tugged your legs, forcing them to stay straight and parted, "Sit still, or I'll make you wish you had."

He kept his eyes on you as he lowered his head to take his first real bite of the night on your thigh, making your chest feel fluttery. You couldn't tell if he was using his hypnosis to turn you on or not, but whatever he was doing was working. "Was it always this way- or is it just with him?" You wondered, screwing your eyes shut as you felt Engie's hands move to cover your tits, groping them with both hands, stroking with his thumb while Spy continued to drink.

Satisfied with his first bite, Spy began to move further up your legs, kissing and biting your thighs, scraping sharp teeth against soft flesh, making you shiver, tense up, and clench around nothing.

Spy was so maddeningly close, within breathing distance, but still moving too slowly. You could feel your blood rushing south as Spy began to trace his thumb along the slit of your sex, feeling it throb for him, leaking slightly, silently begging for more. He teased his fingers there a moment longer before addressing Engie, "Give me your hand."

Wordlessly, the younger vampire complied, unlatching from one breast to Spy, who guided it between your legs. You keened as Engie allowed Spy to push his fingers into you. Despite how you writhed, there was nowhere to go, and you were forced to endure the feeling of Engie's fingers curiously prodding the hot and throbbing bundle of nerves between your legs.

"Now taste it," Spy commanded, to which Engie happily obliged, inhaling the smell of your slick coating his fingers before sucking them clean, his eyes rolling back at the taste. While Engie was distracted, Spy continued to bite and drink from your inner thighs, staying dangerously close to your sex but refusing to give you the attention you needed. Spy drank much neater than other vampires, keeping his bites small and quiet and not allowing any precious blood to go to waste. 

Swallowing your nerves, you tried to beg Engie for mercy in a whisper one last time, foolishly thinking Spy was too focused on feeding to notice. "Sir, aren't you satisfied yet? Are you ready to go now- pl-"

You were cut off by a particularly harsh bite from Spy, making your entire body go rigid and your heart race as you looked down and saw the fury on Spy's face, "How dare you- don't you ever talk to my guests like that."

Spy slapped the top of your thigh, making the bite wounds sting painfully. For a brief moment, Engie had a moment of clarity. He knew you were no doubt at your limit, and it wasn't right for him to drink more, not after you'd endured the hunger of himself and Spy. But unfortunately, morality was no match for instincts, and he smiled wickedly at the helpless look on your face as he began to run his hands up and down your sides, feeling up the curves of your body.

"Aw, don't be such a harsh spook. I know she didn't mean it. But what do you say you give me a turn down there between her legs?"

A satisfied look settled on Spy's face as he nodded, "Be my guest."

Engie grunted as he moved out from behind you unsteadily and with great effort. His stomach had begun to bloat while eating, making his belt feel uncomfortably tight, and the curve of his stomach slightly strain against his overalls. Spy snickered as he crept silently from between your legs to sitting beside you on the side of his hip, hardly affected by all he had to drink.

"You're alright for more?" Engie's eyes were wild and excited. Whatever lingering humanity he clung to wouldn't be enough to save you. His shoulders rose and dropped with his bull-like, ragged breathing. 

This isn't right… You thought to yourself as you listened to Engie clumsily undoing his belt, popping the buttons on his overalls as he dropped them to his ankles with his boxers. You were vaguely aware of the sound of his relief freeing his cock from the stiff and heavy denim, and the next thing you knew, he was back on top. You wanted to tell him to stop, to beg him to get off, but you were too drained to do much more than whimper beneath him as he crawled on top of you, caging you down, wasting no time positioning himself between your legs. While you were wet from before, it would do little to make this any more pleasurable for you. But you were too weak to speak. Your tongue felt too heavy in your mouth, keeping you from saying anything.

"Fuck, j-just stop me if I'm goin' too fast-" Engie mumbled into your neck as he aligned his fangs against you, preparing to take another bite. You could smell the heavy, almost musky smell of vampiric venom wafting from Engie's mouth, similar to the dribblets of precum leaking from the tip of his cock, just seconds away from spearing you.

Your eyes drifted from his face back to the ceiling, eyesight blurry and unfocused. Your body tensed as Engie pushed inside; the feeling made you nauseous, but you could only look away and kick your feet weakly as he snapped his hips against yours. Everything began to dull. His mouth continued to nibble and suckle from your body. His venom's aroma hung heavy in the air. Your muscles were sore from the blood loss and tension, but all were overtaken by a crushing feeling of apathy and dissociation. Blurring pain, fear, sickness, and arousal together into nothingness.

You were drifting somewhere between awake and asleep, entirely terrified and totally numb, when Engie took another bite from your shoulder, injecting another load of venom inside you in sync with his balls emptying inside you. His bite was hungry and desperate, accidentally gouging out a few tiny chunks of skin, which he swallowed constantly. Oddly, you could feel the pain of skin being ripped away, but it affects you as it should have. The pain was there, but it didn't matter. Like your body was no longer your own, it was his, and if gnawing your skin away bit by bit pleased him, so be it. 

Spy watched Engie remain sheathed inside you for a while, breathing heavily, swallowing the remaining blood in his mouth before he eventually rolled over, collapsing at your other side. Engie continued to pant a bit longer, mindlessly bringing a hand to rub over the curve of his gut, considerably bloated from all he'd had to drink. Engie couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so full, and for a moment felt a bitter nostalgia for his living days back in Texas, where "everything was bigger,", especially the food. The painful fullness felt familiar in a way he hadn't felt for so long.

"She's gonna be… alright, isn't she?" Engie, still coming down from his own feeding high, was no longer immune to the guilt of his actions, rolling onto his side. Tonight went further than ever before, much further, and the sight of your naked, vulnerable human body brought him back down to earth, and suddenly, the warm blood he felt sitting heavy in his gut didn't feel so good. Engie felt heavier, filled with blood so rich and delicious it bordered on painful and sluggish for exerting himself. All he wanted now was to head back to his ranch and find a nice, quiet place to lay down. 

Your body, sprawled out on the bed, smeared with thin, crusted smears of your own blood, still breathing unsteadily, head back staring at the ceiling while you were evidently somewhat dazed from the blood loss and strain of what you'd just been through. You were breathing, which was good, and Engie knew you hadn't lost a fatal amount of blood, but his conscience refused him peace of mind.

Spy adored being the devil in Engie's ear. Urging him to give into temptation and brutalize you was the high point of the night, and watching Engie's remorse for his actions was also quite satisfying. He couldn't help but grin sinisterly as Engie's gaze went from you to Spy, who stared back bright-eyed with an almost chipper viciousness.

Spy repositioned himself in bed to sit upright with perfect posture as he stared down the other vampire, "She'll make it. I'll see to it. I assure you, I take excellent care of my possessions."

Clenching his jaw a little, Engie tried to appear as neutral as he could, but he could tell the other vampire was mocking him. Spy knew how Engie's formed an attachment with you, and it hurt to hear Spy addressing you like an object. How could he call you a possession after all that? Though he was technically right, you were still his property after all. How cold-hearted and jaded did a man have to become to see humans as nothing but food. It was a vile thing to say, as though he had no memory of being human once at all. 

Engie wanted to say something to defend you, but what was the point? Hadn't he just now fed off of you until you were about to pass out, going back for seconds even after he could see how afraid you were? No matter how guilty he might've felt, Engie knew he had no grounds to call the other vampire heartless. Despite not knowing you before now, he couldn't help but feel sorry for you, not for your cloistered life as a living blood bank and live-in pet for a vampire; such a fate would be miserable for anyone, but having to endure all that to Spy, of all vampires was frankly a fate worse than death.

Engie sat up scooching down to the very foot of the bed where he sat, his legs dangling from the side of the bed beside the swan's neck, trying not to let himself see the mess of fluids puddled around you, tarnishing the bed sheets, forcing him to take in just how he'd let himself go. "Is she going to remember this?" 

To his surprise, Spy paused carefully regarding the two of you. His expression changed from maliciousness to consideration, momentarily dropping his airs of superiority. "No… I suppose not everything. But you do know what comes next, don't you?"

Engie almost couldn't believe the gall of the vampire before him. "Nothing is coming next. This is over! You've held up your end of the deal. I've been fed. This was all a one-time thing, no more, no less!" 

Spy, smiling cordially, appeared unaffected by Engie's visible wrath, "I must say, you've impressed me tonight. I didn't think you had it in you to go all the way."

Engie huffed, rolling his eyes, "Like it matters. It's over now, I won't be coming back."

"Over?" Spy mused.

Engie snapped back instantly, "Yes, over. I ain't comin' back. You and your lot can keep all the prisoners you want- I'll have no part in this!"

"Hardly my prisoner anymore, not after the damage you've done." 

Engie didn't like the way Spy was talking to him, his airs of superiority morphing into something more mysterious and chilling. "And what exactly do you mean by that?"

"Well, the venom, of course, and your, ah DNA, shall we say- You do know what happens when you force a human to endure both at once, don't you?" Spy couldn't help but raise an eyebrow in surprise as the Engineer merely looked at him with hostility. Spy realized he'd need to be much more blunt to get through to Engie.

"Our kind, all vampires, we take from the living. We drain them of their life force and bleed them dry. We can suck the life out of their body, but that isn't to say we can't provide fresh life to fill the void." As Spy spoke, he pulled the thin bed sheet stained with blood pushed to the bottom of the bed during the excitement over your naked body to conceal the grizzly sight below before he stood up from the bed, picking up his garments, dressing, ensuring his clothing was properly smoothed down and buttoned correctly, to mask any traces of the depravity he'd just engaged in.

Engie roared, "The hell are you sayin'?" 

Spy didn't respond but looked Engie square in the eye, waiting for him to connect the dots. And after a moment of forced silence, Engie buried his face in his hands, moaning a quiet but mournful "oh."

"My deepest apologies. If only I'd known before, you never knew, I would've spoken sooner-" Spy walked to place his hand on the other man's shoulder, but Engie retracted before Spy could reach him.

"Shut up! You, goddamn snake, you- fuckin' hell! You knew it would end like this. You knew all along!" Engie felt his breath rush from his chest as his hands went numb. All at once, his anger died down into a bleak depressive-acceptance. If not for the fact he was already sitting on the edge of the bed, he'd likely fallen over. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see you'd managed to pass into a largely calm slumber; the blanket over your body concealed you from his view, but Engie could only imagine what was going on inside of you at that moment. If he didn't know this could happen, he had a bad feeling you didn't either. His head dropped forward a little, his posture slumped forward, bracing himself using his hands on the tops of his knees. Engie had no idea what he was in for when he accepted the invitation to Spy's chateau for a complimentary meal and "proper dining," but never in a million years would he have seen something like this coming. 

He didn't have the strength to look Spy in the eye, "You're a liar. Humans and vampires can't reproduce. It ain't natural, and it's- aw hell, It just ain't possible!"

Spy extended a hand, cupping the bottom of Engie's jaw, firmly forcing him to meet him at eye level. "Call me a liar now all you want. Enjoy believing that while it lasts."

[asbestieos]

hiWOW the desktop layout really is ugly. anyhow!! my account was charged for an months-old expense i thought was already paid. SURPRISE!! IT WASNT PAID!! AND THEYRE CHARGING ME TODAY!! LOL!! im opening up some commissions to try and cover this before i get overdrafted. i am Broke broke rn and itll be one week until my second job's payday. please consider rbing this post!!

shit i can do (open imgs in new tab for better quality + zoom)

i draw holy cow do i draw. sketches $10 (left), full art $30 (right), backgrounds add +$5, no additional price for added characters. no limits here i can go crazy and draw whatver you want ill draw your oc ill draw your sona your furry your mecha your faves your faves slorcking each others sundays etc etc :thumbsup:

ref sheets!!! with block text (left) and handwritten text (right)!!! im not very good at making them look good or aesthetic so ill charge $20 flat for all ref sheets

i like to call this the ENSTARS SPECIAL. aka ill edit/draw in the enstars art style for you. i can draw emotes, cg/card art, live2d sprites, character profiles, character icons, chibi sprites, enbasic! chibi sprites, fake song album art, The List Goes On. I will Do it for you. base price for any of these will start at $5 and will increase by complexity, subject to my discretion. cg/card art starts at $30.

non-negotiable clause: in great fear and awe of the mighty HappyEle, all enstars-styled commissioned work will be watermarked as a fan-made work. also a disclaimer, my work will never 100% match the official enstars art, litrlly a Whole studio full of hundreds of artists draws these cards!! but i do my best to emulate the style!!

i currently can only take payment thru my p4yp4l and k0fi !! thank you so much for reading i really appreciate. it wont be the end of hte world if i cant get enoguh money but i got bills to pay and this sudden expense will stack on toppa them u_u

[when-did-this-become-difficult]

my favorite six books I read for the first time this year

Alphabetically:

Children of the Alley by Naguib Mahfouz

The Mermaid, the Witch, and the Sea by Maggie Tokuda-Hall

Portraits of a Marriage by Sándor Márai (translated by George Szirtes)

The Quiet American by Graham Greene

The Real Life of Alejandro Mayta by Mario Vargas Llosa

The Spy Who Came In From the Cold by John le Carré

...it was gonna be top nine but then I realized I hadn't read enough books to make that top nine my ultra faves, it was gonna end up being six greats and three "they're very good but I don't love them as much as the other ones" books

anyone do theirs and tag me! i just tagged a lot of people in my top nine movies of 2023 post and i don't want to double tag, so here's just a couple people that I didn't tag in that first post anyhow: @saathi1013, @oldshrewsburyian

[nail-art-no-jutsu]

I'm back in my Bleach era, and I'm thinking about 3rd Division ships and interactions.

This could have been like five different shorter posts but I've had A Week (with a happy ending, but still A Week) and I'm not too motivated to organize my thoughts nicely 🫠

Okay lemme start by saying that Izuru is one of my faves in the whole manga, I started liking him after that one battle in the Aizen war, don't ask me about arcs, I don't remember what any of them are called. Anyhow.

His shikai is absolutely fascinating, and his whole philosophy about how fighting should be awful, so that people prefer peace. It's great that we have this perspective too, and it's so funny that he's in a story where all the fighting is a huge part of the fun. And how he gets so introspective and serious, and a bit mean sometimes (I lov him for it), and how he was initially in the 4th (!) and poetry and and and, he's just so cute, okay? Okay.

Ages ago when the manga was still unfinished, he and Gin Ichimaru were a very popular ship, and I wonder how people write it after the reveal about Gin's intentions. I have my own idea, might elaborate another day. I do like him btw, in my own way, I like to see him being absolutely awful and secretly not awful too. But even without the shippy context I still find it interesting.

See, I get a certain way with 3rd Division ships. It's like Schrödinger's ship to me, I ship it and at the same time I also crave a completely non-romantic version of it but with the same intensity of a relationship. And I also crave a secret third thing too, a slow burn where the characters are considering crossing the line, but each of them procrastinates because it would be different kinds of terrifying.

I want to talk about Izuru finding out about the whole Gin thing, and just when he thought he'd accepted the new normal - the betrayal, the regret, the outrage - it turns out that Gin was thinking something else entirely the whole time?? So then, how much of his own interaction with Gin was a lie? If the betrayal was a lie, then...?? We see Rangiku kinda trying to make sense of it all, but Izuru went through a whole thing too, and !! I wanna see!!!! I bet it wasn't fun at all, lol, and I want to see all of it.

Then here comes Rose. I can't say enough good things about Rose. I'm also a Rose but it's not my exact name either! And I have my own art form that brings me immense joy and cannot will not shut up about it ever. But enough about me, lol.

I'm interested in how Rose feels about getting his old job back, about how he's been coping with the whole hollowfication thing all this time - my idea is, composing music about it and making it subtle so as not to remind his friends about it too much - and now he meets this guy who, I imagine, is a complete mess after everything and isn't exactly in a hurry to trust someone new.

I've read and enjoyed a ton of things already, and what I want is to watch Rose approach Izuru at first like someone whose trust he endeavors to earn, and since he's a good judge of how people get along and relate to each other (Ichigo and Hiyori, Hacchi and Orihime), he knows that what's important now is to be himself (he couldn't avoid it if he tried) and not try too hard or overthink it, and to be honest.

And it turns out he's been yearning for something like that for ages, like, I don't know how much he and his buddies actually talked about how traumatic the hollowfication event must have been. But now here's Izuru who would benefit from having a boss who is like an open book and not afraid to be vulnerable. He's chill on the outside, but is it really that simple? Not if I'm writing it.

Also I want some comedy with them too, I want Rose to be a very quirky captain with unconventional ways to do Shinigami things, and not just because he was on Earth for so long, but because that's just his personality. And I want Izuru to be fascinated with how (my hc) Rose's take on the 3rd Division approach to fighting is a bit different, but it works: his love for music came first, and then he discovered he can use it to fight, but he'd much rather use it to entertain, so it has a purpose in time of peace too. After all, you can mess up your hair when you fight, and who wants that. Izuru doesn't know if he wants to facepalm or if he's in love.

I don't think it would terrify him right away, I think it would terrify him to realize that it's mutual. It's all good if it's just a fantasy, but if there's any chance at all that it could become reality, now that's a scary thought! But fortunately Rose isn't a scary person, I imagine he'd be patient with Izuru as he debates with himself and eventually approaches him first. I think he'd approach Rose in a way that's basically let's just cross all the lines asap, but Rose wouldn't want that cause it's not his style. He's read too many old-fashioned romance novels. I'm joking. Long story short it works out well eventually.

But I also kinda want the wait to never end 😂🙃

... Yeah!! 🥰 I sure do love me some complicated things.

Uggghhhhh I don't wanna write prose, I just wanna toss my ideas into the void 😂

I just wanna see these guys be happy separately or together I don't even care!

I also have some Rose x reader ideas, I saw that there are very few with him on here, and I know exactly what I'd like to see. That might actually be easier for me to write, I'm a bit more comf with that genre when it comes to writing.

Right, thank you for reading ❣️❣️❣️

[thecomfywriter]

writeblr interview

thanks for the tag @illarian-rambling <3

No further ados! Let's get straight into it :)

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Short stories, novels, or poems?

If we're talking about writing them-- novels more often than the others, but i dabble into all of them ngl. I tried writing poetry once upon a time, and while it's not all bad, it's not all good either (i shared some of the bad ones here, buried deeply in the archives. i might share the good ones sometime who knows). and short stories i used to do all the time with my irl writer friends, where we'd give each other 3-word prompts and an hour to bust one out. 10/10 recommend lol in terms of reading, all of them :)))

What genre do you prefer reading?

high fantasy and classics. give me wuthering heights and the iliad. but also, things you'd find on a high school english class reading list. i love those types of inquisitive stories

What genre do you prefer writing?

high fantasy, political fantasies or political conspiracy fictional stories. give me the complicated lore and old history, and all the strategy and war tactics and yadayada. i LIVE FOR IT

Are you a planner or a write-as-I-go kind of person?

extreme planner. i have planned every single potential wip i have in the drafts and for the future in my notion. chapter per chapter outline. scene per scene. entire oc wiki pages. lore pages. even a dictionary for their languages and different dialects, AND the scriptures they refer to/believe in. extreme planner.

What music do you listen to while writing?

whichever playlist i'm in the mood for, but typically it's my writing, august 8, or the (un)official tov soundtrack. the genres on those are so mixed, i can't even say: oh its classical, oh its r&b. no. its just vibes. anyhow, on the discord server, you can actually see what music i listen to while i write LOL because i linked it. but yes, i'll link my spotify here too because why not?

Fave books/movies?

favourite books are the iliad, the giver, wuthering heights, the last dragon, a thousand splendid suns, and the remains of the day. i've gone on a tangent about them before here!

Any current WIPs?

i'm in the editing phases of Throne of Vengeance, which I plan on publishing very soon (👀) and the writing stages of Court of Sins!

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you, what would your standard outfit be?

Hair half up in a bun and half down. Biker shorts or men's oversized lounge shorts. oversized (men's, probably) t-shirt or hoodie, or if it's with the biker shorts, a muscle-tee or a cropped tank top. layered gold necklaces, rings on every finger, multiple gold piercings and cuffs on both ears, my classic gold chain, gold bracelet, and iron cuff on my left wrist. sneakers/running shoes/vintage mint nike tennis court shoes. i have the whole outfit DOWN lmao

Create a character description for yourself

typical brown girl who can't escape the overenthusiastic punjabi girl stereotype because of her loud and eccentric personality. has strong "youngest sibling" energy with a strong level of independence and yet an immediately willingness to let someone else take care of things. flip flops between dressing extremely well and being a fashion icon with impeccable style, to dressing like she ran out of all her clothes and can only wear knitted dishrags. has been canonically told by her father she is "the son [he] never had". she doesn't know what to do with this information. incredibly studious and a huge academic. if she didn't have the extroverted personality she did, people would be more inclined to calling her a nerd. instead, they call her intelligent and call it a day. slightly a teacher's pet. can convince anyone and everyone around her to do her a favour because she's mysteriously persuasive. doesn't know how to do romantic love, but is 1000% invested in showering people in platonic love. has 10k different hobbies, none of which are remotely related. every week, she finds a new topic to obsessively research about and ramble to her voice memos to. as her sisters and friends like to say, "her life is like a series of side quests" i think that about does it., lest i wished to keep rambling LOL

Do you like incorporating people you actually know into your writing?

yes and no. i like taking a singular piece of lore from people i know, typically with their permission. so, some of the ocs in my books are named after people i know in real life whom i asked if i could name my character after. it doesn't really go beyond oc naming, tbh. i feel like stealing people's real life lore is kinda... invasive? idk.

Are you kill-happy with characters?

1000% and my best friend hates me for it. i feel like a toxic partner, only capable of showing my ocs affection by making them suffer

Coffee or tea while writing?

both, plus other substances. cold water. diet soda. hot water. milk. hot cocoa. literally everything.

Slow or fast writer?

fast, but it depends on a) if i'm in school or not (pre-med babyyyyy); b) if i have a deadline of not (i once finished a full draft in 3 months because i put the finish date on my document and felt the need to meet that deadline)

Where/who/what do you find inspiration from?

my childhood and my childhood stories. disclaimer: i DID have a happy childhood, before anyone makes any wild assumptions LOL

If you were put into a fantasy world, what would you be?

a bookkeeper, a scholar, or a soldier. or an adventurer. not just because they're cool, but because that's what i currently do irl, so why not in a fantasy setting too?

Most fave book cliche?

friends to lovers trope for romances. jealousy arcs. misunderstandings that are DONE RIGHT. angst. ANGST. found family. the old mentor. things like that, i eat it right up like we're in an all-inclusive buffet

Least fave book cliche?

toxic male leads who everyone forgives because they're hot. i honestly can't think of much. if it's executed right, everything is fun and freegame

Fave scenes to write?

i genuinely have no clue. i love writing in general. maybe the dialogue fluff scenes that never make it to the final draft because they're so absolutely filler but they butter my croissant in ways only a boulangerie would be able to serve?

Most productive time of day for writing?

night time with the cityscape if i'm in my uni town! daytime in my mancave if i'm in my hometown!

Reason for writing?

i've always been a storyteller, and i can't exist with this world in my mind without opening the gates for everyone to pay a visit. i enjoy sharing what i love. they say the universe is expanding, and that is an undeniable fact, for all the proof i need is in the way the worlds in my head keep growing.

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thanks again for the tag, my love <3

i'll tag @writingismydrugs @drchenquill @wyked-ao3 @willtheweaver @satohqbanana and @pexchys

cheerios!

[batsplat]

This isn't the usual kind of ask you answer, but I've been working my way through the videopass archive sequentially and have been thinking about the historic/vintage livery that the teams are going to be using in Silverstone after the summer break quite a bit. Personally I'm very fond of the West Honda Pons' black and white livery especially with how they had the names of the riders on one side and the team name on the other, and obviously the gauloises and camel yamahas are iconic. But you've obviously watched a lot of the older seasons, so are there any liveries you'd like to see/which ones would you personally pick for the teams?

I too have been having thoughts about this! I do have some of my faves in a wee folder, and initially my picks were a bit limited in terms of range of years and teams. BUT let's do this properly. all eleven teams. my hot take for each and every one of them

CAVEAT NUMBER ONE look I don't know how 'design' or 'colour theory' or even 'taste' work. most of my reasoning doesn't extend beyond 'I thought this looks nice'

CAVEAT NUMBER TWO I also don't... quite know how this works in terms of who's allowed to use which livery? like not just the sponsor stuff, but would teams be able to use liveries from... idk, a different satellite outfit that was in the sport before they were? this ask mentions the pons liveries.... could honda teams actually use those? what if you don't have a lot of history? is anyone allowed to use mv agusta liveries? would teams go for special liveries, or just the regular ones? how strict are the rules for what you can use?

so. y'know. I'm really just guessing here what's even possible, which meant that for... uh. some of these teams. I did have to reach a bit to come up with a viable livery. let's just make clear this is all vibes and go from here

HONDA

they should have no problem with coming up with plenty of options. let's start with the west honda pons, which the ask references:

excellent pick, anon. if they can use this one, I'd very much support it! we're missing black bikes on the grid currently... this one's simple, it's classy, it's got a little bit of identity with the name written on the side. the dark red highlights work nicely. it's also a livery that, unlike some of the ones to follow, should still work well on the current bikes without losing its identity too much - though maybe you'd have to put some thought into how you'd place the actual name. should still be plenty of space though! and it'd be easily recognisable to fans who are familiar with the old livery, which I reckon is also an important metric

while we're on pons, shout out to the ducados honda pons livery:

nice shade of blue! nice design of the leathers! pleasing shape of the numbers! just has a lot of character and charm to it

anyhow, let's get to the factory honda team. the VERY first pick that popped into my head was the special livery for aragon 2011:

so I get that sense that plenty of people hate this livery and think it looks 'childish' and I'm sorry, but if you think that, congratulations on having bad taste. it's cute! honda barely ever has fun! look at how orange it is! look at the stars! there's a star on the leathers too! I'm fond of the way the front of the bike looks too, how the numbers are placed kinda messily on the star. this one's just, y'know, a bit more creative, something that's just different from how we usually expect liveries to look. screw classy and stylish, give me something with a bit of charm

moving back in time a little further, here's the valencia 2003 livery (valentino's last race with honda):

isn't she gorgeous?? I'd put that bike in my bedroom. lovely from every angle. if you look it up, you can find more photos to show it off properly - just see the sun on the top of the bike. really nice mix of the traditional repsol orange with the yellow, it all just works together. bright like the sun

and one more special livery from the early noughties (if not from the factory team), here's mugello 2001:

hardly a controversial choice, people love this one for a reason. it's pretty!! blue flowers!! this one should work reasonably well on the modern bikes too and obviously most fans should be able to recognise it. again, I don't know what the stance is on special liveries - but hey, it'd be fun to give a certain someone in your factory team a livery from this era

and going back further still, here's eddie lawson 1989:

yes, it's rothmann's honda, yes, I've decided not to care. this is my personal top pick for honda. it should be recognisable even on the current bikes, it pays tribute to honda's long history by not just sticking to something from this century, and it looks cool. clean cut colours that are nicely separated out - I really like the yellow highlights on either side of the bike, plus the way the separation of the blue and white is handled on both the bike and the leathers. it's all quite clearly demarcated, but with nice details to give it character - those stripes on the front of the bike and on the the leathers. the touches of gold. the rider's name on the side of the screen. the number on the back of the bike. cool bit of history, too, like they stole that man away from yamaha and it certainly worked out for them. it's fun!

and one more jump to the past to hailwood's late sixties honda:

this one is proper honda #heritage and I'd totally get if they go with that. my main issue is... I'm not quite sure how it'd work on today's bike, shape-wise? like, the charm here is really the simplicity, the way the orange-gold spreads over the silver. does that work if you have all the bits sticking out everywhere? maybe somebody with a better understanding of design than me can figure it out, and I do like this one. the numbers look nice. idk. it's neat

LCR

well. I guess you'd want to go with one of the cecchinello liveries here? my problem with lcr is that they seem to generally be pretty big on their retro liveries anyway - the first one I thought of... basically looks like the 2021 lcr livery anyway? boring! done that! then there's a few years that are like... silvery, but, and I know this is an unfair way to go about this, I kind of feel I've already gone silvery with a few of my other picks and they're all nicer. so, here's my pick from 2000:

it's a bit busy, but that's kinda the fun of some of these older liveries. big chunk of red, some blue, the nice bright yellow number, even all the logos are kinda fun... I like the weird shape of the white line that separates the red and the black. I don't know, it just works for me as a complete package in a way some of the other lcr liveries don't

YAMAHA

yes, gauloises yamaha. my beloved. everyone's a fan for a reason

can't not mention it!! I do think valentino's version specifically works the best because of the extra bit of flare the yellow highlights provide here. but also the GO!!!!!! thing works on every version. it's fun! sometimes it's okay to go overboard with exclamation mark numbers! this one kinda hits the sweet spot as being proper classy but also joyous, enthusiastic. just overall very much a vibe

on camel yamaha, I do like the livery, but personally I do just associate it more strongly with camel honda? which was literally the same livery. that might not have been the factory team, but those were still serious frontrunners during the early noughties... and, well, it just doesn't feel specifically yamaha to me idk

okay, I'm going to restrain myself here on the valentino livery front. yes, I too liked laguna and valencia 2005. I have only 30 images to play with here and I'm not going to blow half of them on valentino special liveries, so I'm going to stick to my two faves. assen 2007 and catalunya 2008:

they're just! fun! when it comes to liveries in general, my basic criteria are a) can I easily figure out who's riding them, and b) do they make me smile. elegance is boring, give me something more quirky and memorable and FUN. assen is just. a lot. lots of colours, such a bright and cheerful livery that still works as a complete package. the bike's fun, the livery's fun, fabio would look fantastic in this one. and catalunya (in honour of the italian national team) is just a cool idea! the football helmet! the mock shirts! the pink sleeves! there's a real creativity and charm to this one - and at the same time, the base design of the bike is actually really lovely and stylish. also I associated both of these liveries with extremely fun valentino races that I'd definitely recommend (literally two of the top six vale/casey duels), which... well you can't say that about the two 2005 liveries I mentioned above is what I'd say

now, I know I just said forget laguna 2005, but of course laguna 2005 was in itself a reference to a past yamaha livery. so cut out 2005 and just pay direct homage to the iconic late seventies design, feat kenny roberts:

another one everyone loves for a reason! it's a nice shade of yellow, it works well with the white and black... the black dashed line thingies are of course iconic and they just make the whole thing quite dynamic and snazzy

and one more. marlboro liveries do unfortunately slap, plenty of them are fan favourites... look at this red one, feat. eddie lawson 1984:

it's very. blocky. you've got the red bits the white bits the yellow bits. they have nice shapes. nice lines. the yellow bits where one's a circle type thingy and the other one's whatever you call that shape and then you've got the numbers on them. please don't read these descriptions. there's plenty of the marlboro liveries over the course of yamaha's time, but this one's my favourite. and it's the one I'd choose! I know it's super iconic but we already did a tribute to the 70s one back at laguna 2005. do this one instead! it's very yamaha but also a little more creative than the most obvious picks

DUCATI

well. if we're talking marlboro, then yes, of course the old marlboro ducati livery is very memorable:

this is a bike that looks good. there's not much more to say about it (or, well, there probably is, but again it should be obvious I don't know how design works). it's a nice shade of red, I really like how the front looks... my issue with this one is that low key it is the marlboro logo that makes it particularly distinctive. kinda feels against the spirit of the whole thing, damn those tobacco companies and their lovely bike designs

here's mugello 2006, which in itself is a retro livery. I'll allow this one and I do think it's just?? very nice??

really pleasing dull colours, three shades that work together well, got something old fashioned to it. my main problem with this one is... I don't feel like it'd look as good on the current bikes? I don't know, this one works because of the kind of... soft curves of the front of the bike. I do also think quirky and a bit in your face just suit the current bikes better than trying to keep things too classy?

my general problem is that ducati history in motogp is like... we're working with a limited sample size. and when I go through the options I do find them a bit. meh. the thing is, right, the red bikes are nice, I do like the marlboro design, but it's also still essentially a red bike. and if you translate these designs to the current bike shape, it's not going to look THAT different to the bike they're riding any other week. the mugello 2006 probably does better on that account, but I don't know. I think I am kind of committed to making them all actually switch around colours here

so I was wondering if maybe you could delve into the superbikes archive? you could go for the 2001 livery, feat. bayliss (also a motogp race winner):

I think the silver pairs quite nicely with the black leathers... also I like it whenever the bit on the front where they put the number on has a slightly quirky shape. I'm not going to pretend like this is my all time favourite livery, but I do like it well enough! it'd translate well to the current bikes, would give us a proper switch-up, works quite nicely imo

and one more from superbikes, this from 2012:

this one isn't happening for a bunch of reasons, not least because I doubt the effenbert team is one that's remembered particularly fondly by ducati. still, it passes the 'does it look distinctive' test to me, making a 'what if you threw a pint of beer over a motorcycle' livery is at the very least something different

PRAMAC

there's a few different ways you could go here, but I'd just keep it simple and go for one of the years where the pramac logo is big on one side of the bike. here's harada in 2002:

not a bad logo! you've got the arrows and everything! you've also got another more subtle silver arrow in the middle of all the white, makes the whole thing feel quite dynamic. simple colours, very pramac. bold and brash

(you could go for the 2018 mugello livery too but I philosophically reject having a 'retro' livery from 2018)

GRESINI

another satellite team that's been around for a while, and my suspicion is they'll go for one of fausto gresini's liveries. none of those... really appeal to me... so I wanted to suggest one from their telefonica movistar days back in the mid noughties. that's right: I'm talking sete's livery:

in practise, this livery does deeply annoy me in 2004 to 2005 because - despite not being in the same factories - you've somehow managed to get both title rivals in pretty damn similar liveries. like, can I tell them apart? sure. but especially with the poorer video quality, is it really necessary to make it this tricky? well! no! but also sete had this livery before his title rival switched to yamaha, so he came first. I like this one a lot! I like the way the yellow is integrated, the chequered bits around the telefonica movistar logo, good helmet too. slightly unusual patterns for the win - there's quite a lot going on with the lines on this design but it all kinda comes together. I actually think you could make this one look really good on the modern bikes, and it has a real spark and flare to it. also I would find it narratively pleasing if marc rides with sete's livery

but if gresini wants to go another way, shout out to their 2010 livery (several of the early 2010s look quite similar):

I'm not the biggest fan in the world of white liveries, but the style of this one pleases me idk. there's a slightly unusual shape on the side of this one, which I've already said I approve of. it's a nice shade of red to pair with the white. not my first pick, but I'd settle for this one

VR46

right, this is one where I really have questions. ... are they allowed to use just any of valentino's old liveries? what are the rules here? I think to maybe keep things straightforward here, I'll avoid his actual honda and yamaha liveries (those kids are not getting the gp11/12 let's be real) and stick to the lower class ones. now... those are aprilia liveries, and if aprilia wants to use some of those then please have at it. otherwise: vr46, lads, this is the way you want to go. here's 1999 (though 1998 also looks lovely):

one where the leathers and helmet really feels like a part of the design, like that's the bit that really completes the look. the dark grey base tone works as something you can layer all the fun stuff on. the font of the numbers! the warm reds and yellows! the stickers! this one's just FUN, it has a real adolescent verve and joy to it

and of course there's the mugello 1999 special livery:

she's so pretty!! recognisable! I don't even know what to say about this one apart from. look. it's fun. just something youthful and joyous and energetic to the whole thing... keeps things pretty straightforward on the colour front, the dark orange-brown highlights really brings it all together. or something

APRILIA

so. here's another question. are we just stuck with premier class liveries here? because if so, it's pretty slim pickings... but look, thirty images, we're not getting into everything they've been up to in the lower classes

luckily, aprilia do have quite a nice 2002 entry in the premier class:

dark colours are fun sometimes!! I like the shape of the ms logo! it's a bit chaotic, but in a fun way! it feels very aprilia, somehow. this would be my pick I think, I could easily transpose this to the current bikes in my mind's eye. aprilia kinda feels like it's supposed to be a bit chaotic, all those bits sticking off. love the red sleeves of the leathers

you could also go for the 2004 livery:

I'm not personally? super into the white and gold as a combination? definitely prefer the darker base colour of 2002. but it's quite distinctive - the red sleeves actually pop out more in this one. it's neat!

TRACKHOUSE

uh. um. uh. are they... allowed to run petronas colours? I mean it's basically still the same team? maybe they can borrow some aprilia ones? if not, then well they're the rahh rahh america team. I would ask ducati very nicely if maybe they could use this indianapolis 2009 livery in honour of the late nicky hayden:

I know you probably can't do that, but well! if you could, that'd be my pick for them! I like stars, america has stars on their flags, this is very rahh rahh america. the helmet and liveries are also fun and have stars on them. that's all I've got, sorry

KTM

okay, we've got an even bigger problem than aprilia here. these guys have NOT been in motogp long enough. my idea here was... so obviously ktm just do not have a suitable back catalogue of liveries, but aren't they like basically red bull? and red bull did like. a one off partnership with suzuki for laguna 2005, and suzuki isn't even in the sport any more so it's not like there's a CLASH there. I don't know how this works! whatever. I think it's nice!

it's not the most exciting thing I've ever seen in my life, but the red bull logo works well on the black. looks classy! and if suzuki gets mad then well red bull can just chuck money at them idk

the other option is... doesn't ktm own mv agusta now? go for one of those! they look quite similar for much of a decade, so I could have included another hailwood photo here - but I'm just going to use the early seventies mv agusta instead:

it's very simple, very basic. I'm not... sure this works on bikes these days. anyway I chose this one over its predecessor because I do like the stripes on the leathers, very adidas coded. if you can figure out how to make this whole design look good for the more complex bikes of today, then this would be a good pick imo. I like quirky shapes to put my numbers on... but sometimes circles are also good

TECH3

so. for a while, these are running the gauloises yamaha liveries, which we've already covered. maybe they could take the fortuna yamaha liveries instead that they used, especially if the factory yamaha squad doesn't want the kinda similar ones they ran at certain points. basically they're the red yamahas in the noughties. I'd go for 2004 tech3, which... y'know, the fortuna font is just quite nice, they're stylish liveries, they're just bikes you look at and go 'wow that sure is a nice bike'. and yes, we do need to at this point also mention the estoril 2004 spiderman livery

all I'm saying, if pedro acosta does not show up to silverstone on the spiderman bike. a part of me will be disappointed

otherwise, I thought the dunlops in 2007 were quite nice?

yes, yes, it's another yellow and black yamaha livery. but hey, it's a bit different from the one they referenced at laguna 2005, keeps things fresh. wouldn't mind this one

IN CONCLUSION

might add to these at some point, but those are kinda the first picks that come to mind! a lot of these are annoyingly recent, because most teams on the grid aren't that old. not quite sure what the rules of the game are here! which does mean that, as much as I enjoy the recent designs, I kinda hope honda and yamaha don't go for liveries from this century and dig a bit deeper in the archives

basically, what I'm looking for from the teams is a retro livery that a) is clearly recognisable to anyone familiar with said past livery, b) works with the actual shape of the current bike, c) looks different enough from their current livery, I want colour swaps, and d) looks cool. also, they should coordinate. istg if half of the grid shows up in white liveries... hopefully at least some of the teams will go for the fun ones!

[girlcrushart]

Some people would argue that this is the hottest picture of Emmy Rossum, and I think it would be hard to argue against that. She's so ridiculously beautiful to begin with, but then the hair, the, erm... toplessness (cleverly and artistically hidden) and of course the fishnets. I mean, fishnets are sexy af (the reasons why are carefully explained in an excellent recent post by @whoiwanttoday that not enough people read). Also, sidenote, when I said "some people" up there I was referring to him bc I'm fairly certain he told me once that this was his fave pic of Emmy Rossum. I will add to his thesis about fishnets saying that ripped fishnets are even hotter for... obvious reasons? Anyhow, there's another pic of Emmy wearing leather pants (and nothing else... so the theme of what makes and Emmy pic very hot to me is coming together nicely here) and maybe that other pic is my fave one of her? Maybe, but not today. Today its this picture because having multiple favourites is just something I'm leaning into thanks to Taylor Swift's albums lately. Today's girlcrushart guardian is Emmy Rossum.

[gabriestat]

OK SO. since i feel like we have the same taste in movies i wanted to ask u which are your fave movies !! (and also how was passenger bc i saw an edit you reblogged yesterday and thought mmmm maybe this is worth watching...)

passanger was so much better than i expected!! i thought people on here liked it based on vibes™ (and that it's kinda gay. quite so, if we are being honest) but actually the characters are quite nuanced & i really enjoyed how the conflict progressed. i would 100% recommend it to you, honestly it really deserves the thriller label because i was very tense during some scenes lol. but ultimately i laughed with the movie it's ridiculous (good ridiculous, not bad ridiculous) during some parts

anyhow moving onto your other question: i don't watch that many movies (for whatever reason i find easier to watch shows now) but if i were to say my favorites, they would probably be stoker, there will be blood, memories of a murder, natural born killers, the nice guys, saw, phantom of the opera (this one is mostly out of nostalgia), crimson peak and company of the wolves.

[crackinglamb]

AO3 Year End Roundup, 2023

Normally, I'd do this in a couple days, but we're close enough for government work (and I'm on a deliberate break anyhow, so nothing new is being posted). Normally this would also be a tag game, but I haven't seen it floating around yet, so...

Hey, you wanna do your own roundup? Go for it. Yes, I mean you (looking at you, DAFF crew). Consider this an open invite. Tag me back so I can see what y'all have been up to.

Words posted: 241,283 . This total has had subtracted from it the amount that already existed for the fic that carried over from last year (which was WG, of course). So this is actually what I posted this year.

Additional Words Written: ~166K. I have several WIP's going on in the background. One of which is finished and will begin posting after New Year's. Another of which is about halfway done. The rest are...procrastination projects/getting the wiggles out. They may never see the light of day. But they count as writing, so they are included.

Grand total of words: 407, 283 (goodness gracious)

Fandoms: 2

Works: 12, 11 of which were new.

Highest Kudos: Into the Current, at 271 (just like last year, I'm not counting WG since it wasn't new). The Iron Bull/OFC, rated E, 79K words, complete.

Highest Hit Oneshot: The Mighty Fall, at 706. Sookie Stackhouse/Eric Northman. Rated T, 2900 words.

New Things I Tried: I wrote a trio of fics for True Blood/Southern Vampire Mysteries this year. The WIP that's finished and waiting for the new year is a continuation of this series.

I also posted a ficlet I'd originally posted here on tumblr for archiving purposes. Some Years Into the Future...

Fic I Spent the Most Time On: Driftwood, my Bullmance series. Writing ItC itself wasn't particularly long, about two months, but T3, the next fic, is still being written. At first it was all going to be one long fic, but then I decided I've had enough of epics (meaning any work significantly over 100K words), and split it into parts.

Fic I Spent the Least Time On: The Mighty Fall. I have finally gotten to use the tag 'I wrote this instead of sleeping'. 🤣

Favorite Thing I Wrote: Usually, I have trouble with this category. I'm poly, you know. But this year, I actually DO have a fave. Okay...I have two.

How Deep the Bullet Lies - a gift for @rosella-writes, for the Solas Lovers Exchange. Solas/Cassandra Pentaghast with a whumpy open ending. Rated M, 4200 words.

More Than Mere Stone - a gift for my beloved @ir0n-angel in the same exchange. Solas/F!Trevelyan, pure fluff. Rated G, 1500 words.

Favorite Thing I Read: In Twain, by CatC. It's everything I wanted in a 'background character gets caught up in events' fic. With a sizzlingly hot Bullmance and So Much Cole. I think I've read it three or four times already. At least. If you need something comforting and wonderful, I cannot recommend it enough. It's simply delightful, and so is the author. Rated E, 172K words, WIP.

Something I Finished: I did it, at long last. I finished What a Wicked Game to Play. It was the focus of NaNo (and took literally three days once I put my mind to it, hence much of the other writing I did that hasn't been published). It feels really good to have my beloved Behemoth marked with a green checkmark. The story itself isn't finished, and I'll eventually write more for Imogen and Co., but for now, it is Done.

Writing Goals for 2024 – Keep on keeping on. I want to finish T3, so I can start posting it. I want to finish a couple other things from the WIP list. There will of course be a new Fluffuary prompt list. Biggest goal, however, is simply not to burn myself out. I've started waiting to publish until a fic is finished, which has done wonders for my stress levels. No more posting gaps on an in-progress fic.

Allow me to Gush about some things I wrote this year.

(Otherwise known as: honorable mentions)

Out of the Dark - Lark Cadash was once going to have an epic fic to her name. But I'm Tired, and frankly, I'm bored with rewriting the events of DA:I over and over again. So I've turned her into a series, where I can just put up oneshots and short chaptered things in no particular order that add up to one big story. This is one of them. Post-canon, Lark goes into the Deep Roads to find the answer to a riddle that's bugged her for her entire life. She gets more than she asked for, with a side serving of sad Solas. I've had many of the headcannons included in it for a long time, with no home. Now, they're out there in the world. Rated G, 4800 words.

What Lies Beneath - my actual giftfic for the Solas Lovers Exchange. I had such fun writing this, and had ideas for it as soon as I received the assignment. I got to set something in the Hissing Waste, which is one of my favorite places in the game, as well as write a polyship for my two favorite romances. F!Cadash/Solas/Iron Bull, rated T, 3400 words.

Maker Damned Fools - back in 2020, I wrote a Varric/Hawke short little thing for the first Fluffuary. I always wanted to go back and expand it into a fuller story. Add it to the pile of Things I Finished This Year. From their meeting to post-canon. Rated E, 32K words.

What a Wicked Game to Play - *deep satisfied sigh* It took two years and ten months to complete, with near constant weekly updates. It's 412K words by itself (not counting the rest of the series). It contains about 350 embedded images of either screenshots or fanart. It is both the highest hit (over 90K) and highest kudo'd (1535) work on my archive. Affectionately known as 'the Behemoth', extensively written with my signature yeeting of canon. Imogen McLean, MGIT, Inquisitor, beloved of Fen'Harel. I am stupendously proud of this work, but I am also incredibly happy it's done. I set out to write an epic, and I damn well succeeded. Rated E.

See y'all on the flipside! 💕

[nightinngales]

Hey I’m having a super long (still first) run of bg3, what were the features you liked the most and makes it so compelling to play

well, I was a huge fan of DOS2, so as soon as it was announced I was already down for it. If you’ve not played DOS2, the combat system is sort of similar but surfaces and environmental effects played a much greater role in the combat. That said, it was turn based (which I grew up on) and also similar to a tactical RPG combat game that I spent about 10 years obsessively playing (Atlantica Online’s TBS system, similar to Fire Emblem 3H’s combat).

If I remember right, DOS2 was kind of my first CRPG that got me interested in the genre as a whole, and that turn based combat is what I preferred. (Technically I guess you could argue DAO was my first, but I didn’t even know what CRPG was when I played it so I’m not counting it here)

I played other CRPGs after it of course, like Pillars of Eternity (which is one of my all time faves) or the Pathfinder games, but they’re all Real Time With Pause, which as someone with adhd, just doesn’t jive with me. There’s too much going on at once and too much micromanaging with having to pause and unpause and readjust all the time - it’s just a battle system I’ve always disliked, but suffered through for the sake of the deeper narratives that are often present in CRPGs.

So a new CRPG where turn based isn’t a tacked on mode, but in fact the entire point, AND it’s Larian? I was sold from day one, and I’ve never played the first two Baldur’s Gate games.

Beyond that, however, I’d say the second reason is the amount of freedom and reactivity.

Admittedly, the reactivity suffers a bit in act 2-3 (in terms of companion commentary, anyhow, which evaporates after act 1), but the fact is that you can do SO many things in this game that are entirely planned for that you’d never expect. You can mix up the order of quests in ways that make zero fucking sense and the game is STILL prepared for it. I don’t know how they accounted for options like that. Like managing to kill the Hag way before you’re supposed to be able to, etc.

(minor act 1 spoilers for Shadowheart’s background)

For example, in a recent playthrough, there’s a specific scene you can get with Shadowheart where she trusts you with a memory of her past. Usually, you’d get this scene after you’ve already discovered her fear of wolves (by failing the Frightened save against Rath’s wolf in the grove or even in the Hideout etc). In my playthrough, despite genuinely attempting to trigger that conversation, it never happened—she kept passing the Frightened check, so that conversation didn’t trigger. So I got the memory first, and then she didn’t fail a save against a wolf until a much later scene, at which point she accounted for the fact she’d already shown me the memory that caused that fear. As a bonus, I play a Druid, and she‘ll be fine “provided you don’t turn into one, of course”. It could only have been better if Shadowheart was forced to roll against Frightened whenever my Tav transformed into a wolf, but I’m sure that would have been too annoying in gameplay to implement lol

As a side note: there are things I’ve seen others discovering in this game that after multiple playthroughs, I’ve still never found. There’s just so MUCH in that game. It’s insane really.

[againtodreaming]

hiii :3 for the 3 things ask game hehe (it's nice that you found this in my blog again, i tried to find it but couldn't lmao ;-;)

3 things you are the most passionate about

3 topics you’d love to learn more about

3 quotes that have a special place in your life

Hiii Johnny!! :D Tysm for the asks <33

@vinylbiohazard you also asked this one: 

3 things you are the most passionate about:

idk like, fiction-fandoms-writing-art like all that storytelling emotion stuff?

learning

family/friends

3 topics you’d love to learn more about

History

Literature

Anthropology

3 quotes that have a special place in your life:

Edit: WHY DID U ASK ME THIS?!? 😭 You are going to kill me but anyways—:

Edit #2: ………ended up deciding to go big or go home during the last quarter of my time spent on this response so ahh…beware? ┐('～`;)┌ (^◇^；) 

…okay so I tried to pick a few but I can’t, okay? 🥲 I’m indecisive and my quotes would feel so betrayed if I picked one over the other one so I’ll just break the rules and put…every quote that came to mind (and then I had to look them up bc I only got a few of them completely memorized): 

Nakahara Chūya:

“When I consider, it's easy. / In the end it's a question of will. / I must muddle through. / As long as I do that, it's all right, // I think but nonetheless, / that winter evening when I was twelve. / The steam whistle that echoed / in the sky above the port, where is it now?” Innocent Song

“O song of the skies, song of the sea, / I think I now understand the essence of beauty, / Even so, it’s tough, I can’t escape this idleness!” Exhaustion

“I am not completely quiet in the midst of that desolation. / I am seeking something, always seeking something / in the midst of this terrible immobility, but also terribly impatient. / For the sake of this, my appetites and lusts are as nothing.” The Voice of Life (this one is translated by Paul Mackintosh and Maki Sugiyama and there is also a version of this in the latest Ry Beville translation but I read this one first and I like better how it flows so yep, went with this translation) (...I really need to learn Japanese to read the original sobs) (if it wasn't so long, I would also add part III of The Voice of Life here) (...and some other parts…a lot of parts…these poems are just so good, okay? 😭💖)

“O eyes of mine, wide open with doubt, / O eyes, momentarily unmoving while wide open, / O heart, trusting too much beyond my self, / O expectation of mine, you old, dark air, / Be gone from me, be gone! / I entertain myself with nothing but my meager dreams” – Poem of the Sheep (I memorized this one with another translation but this is from the bilingual edition/new translations by Ry Beville book so yeah, chose this translation for now)

“Today, though, I return to who I am / Like a stretched rubber band released // And thus, from the window of this idleness / I spread out my index finger like a folding fan, // Inhale blue skies      imbibe the calm / And like a frog afloat on water // I see the stars of night come night / O    depths of sky, the depths of sky.” Exhaustion (I have several faves in Exhaustion but yeah, I would say these 2 are the ones I like most? …okay, only the ones I had mostly memorized bc every line is amazing) (also memorized the earlier translation but this is the one in the new translations book so–)

…can't resist, last one, promise, this one is also from The Voice of Life: “No matter what, it is indescribable! / Sometimes I want to explain it briefly, but / since it���s inexplicable, indescribable, I believe my life is worth living. / That’s reality! Unsullied happiness! Anything anyhow is good!” (honestly, just this entire poem)

(Spring Day’s Caprice is also amazing, doesn’t rank as high as the poems I mentioned above but still, the only reason I’m not adding it here too is bc I can’t pick a verse without feeling I’m doing it a complete injustice bc it’s…like you need to read it whole. Like, the same goes for the other poems but this one is like…it feels too much like a united progression to be able to take a quote away, it would feel like taking the meaning away ig?)

Alice in Wonderland: 

“I knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then.” (stuck with me when I first read when I was like 10 or 11 maybe and and even more relatable now)

“That's just the trouble with me, I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.” (this one echoes in my head every time I don’t follow my own advice 😅)

Dazai Osamu:  BSD: 

“But your anguish isn’t yours alone. What should one do, when what they want to be isn’t what they’re best at? Everyone fights, searching for the correct way to live their lives. What do they seek by fighting? How ought they live? No one can say. All we have is the right to waver. Like stray dogs that have hit rock bottom.” (gave me hope and some direction)

Schoolgirl (blaming @yumaisbored—hope u don't mind the tag 😅—for it becoming a favorite look how many quotes I copied here and I highlighted a lot more bc there was just so much, this one stabbed me straight through the heart and I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT o(*>ω<*)o) (most of these ones are too long to have memorized and I haven’t read this a million times like I’ve done with my favorite Nakahara’s poems but I remembered the gist of each one and just had to look up my highlighted in orange parts) (this story has no right to be so relatable): 

“The truth is that I secretly love what seems to be my own individuality, and I hope I always will, but fully embodying it is another matter. I always want everyone to think I am a good girl.” 

“Let me be natural, let me be genuine."

“I didn't know whether it was better to maintain a fierce distinction between yourself and your acquaintances in society in order to deal with and respond properly to things in a pleasant manner, or rather never to hide yourself, to remain true to yourself always, even if they say bad things about you.”

“My face was like that of a stranger. An animated face, liberated from my own sadness and pain and seemingly disconnected from such feelings.”

“I felt like trying to cry. I held my breath for a good while, in order to make my eyes bloodshot, and I thought I might be able to squeeze out a tear, but it was no good. Maybe I've turned into an impassive girl.”

“There I go again—pondering the purposelessness of my day-to-day life, wishing I had more ambition, and lamenting all the contradictions in myself—when I know it's just sentimental nonsense. All I'm doing is indulging myself, trying to console myself.”

“I envy such a rigorously efficient and disciplined daily existence. It must be easier to relax when someone always told you who you are and what to do. For instance, right now, if I wanted to do nothing, then I could just do nothing. My circumstances are such that I could be as bad as I wanted, but then again, if I felt like studying, I could study for as many hours on end as I liked. If someone were to give me a particular limit to abide by—to start here and use this much effort and finish there—you have no idea how much it would assuage my mind. I think I rather would appreciate a certain amount of constraint. I read in a book somewhere that soldiers in battle at the front had only one desire, to sleep soundly, and while on one hand I feel sorry for those soldiers, I am also terribly envious of them. To break free from this vexatious and awful never-ending cycle, this flood of outrageous thoughts, and to long for nothing more than simply to sleep—how clean, how pure, the mere thought of it is exhilarating. If someday I could live a military life, and be disciplined harshly, then I just might be capable of being a self-contained, beautiful daughter.”

“In my heart, I worry about Mother and want to be a good daughter, but my words and actions are nothing more than that of a spoiled child. And lately, there hasn't been a single redeeming quality about this childlike me. Only impurity and shamefulness. I go about saying how pained and tormented, how lonely and sad I feel, but what do I really mean by that? If I were to speak the truth, I would die. While I am perfectly aware of what I should do, I can't even utter the words. All I do is feel wretched, and in the end I fly into a rage—I mean, really, it's as if I were crazy.”

“I'm sorry, I formed the words softly. I only ever think of myself, I thought, I let myself be coddled by her to my heart's content, and then take such a reckless attitude with her. I can't begin to imagine how hurtful or painful it must be for her, instead I always avoid thinking about it.”

“Nobody in the world understood our suffering. In time, when we became adults, we might look back on this pain and loneliness as a funny thing, perfectly ordinary, but—but how were we expected to get by, to get through this interminable period of time until that point when we were adults? There was no one to teach us how. Was there nothing to do but leave us alone, like we had the measles? But people died from the measles, or went blind. [...] But if those people were to think about it from our perspective, and see how we had tried to endure despite how terribly painful it all was, and how we had even tried to listen carefully, as hard as we could, to what the world might have to say, they would see that, in the end, the same bland lessons were always being repeated over and over, you know, well, merely to appease us.” 

["You said you wanted summer shoes, so I looked for some while I was in Shibuya today. Shoes have gotten expensive, too, haven't they."

"It's okay, I don't really want them anymore."

"But don't you need them?"

"I guess so."]

Extra: 

No Longer Human: “The weak fear happiness itself. They can harm themselves on cotton wool. Sometimes they are wounded even by happiness”

Fyodor Dostoevsky, White Nights:

“at this moment a thousand valves have opened in my head, and I must let myself flow in a river of words, or I shall choke” “allow me, Nastenka, to tell my story in the third person, for one feels awfully ashamed to tell it in the first person” “I was already regretting that I had gone so far, that I had unnecessarily described what had long been simmering in my heart” “Because it begins to seem to me at such times that I am incapable of beginning a life in real life, because it has seemed to me that I have lost all touch, all instinct for the actual, the real; because at last I have cursed myself; because after my fantastic nights I have moments of returning sobriety, which are awful!” “And one asks oneself where are one's dreams. And one shakes one's head and says how rapidly the years fly by! And again one asks oneself what has one done with one's years. Where have you buried your best days? Have you lived or not?” “But how fine joy and happiness makes any one! How brimming over with love the heart is! One seems longing to pour out one's whole heart; one wants everything to be gay, everything to be laughing. And how infectious that joy is!” (I was actually only looking for the ones in red but I passed through the other ones while I was looking for them and like…i mean, what was i supposed to do?!? Leave them behind?!? …okay probably but like look at them!! How could I?!)

“You'll never know if you can fly unless you take the risk of falling.” – Dick Grayson, The Secret Origin of Nightwing

…okay, the entire lyrics of Hourglass by Set It Off but if I had to pick a verse…oof, okay, your fault, you asked and there are just so many good lines and I can’t decide so umm, yep, I already have like 1 and a half pages of quotes so who cares at this point, right? (why did u ask me this 😭😭😭) (edit: now it's like 3 pages and smth ashdjdjsndjsj) (i'm doing the quotes part in google docs) so here is practically half the song: 

How did we get so jaded? I don't know / Was it the white lies feeding our egos? / I never valued minutes I burned through / Is that just how it goes? / Seconds I wasted, I was fixated / You're devastated, sorry to say / I can't fix it, is this where I give in? // I'm falling through the hourglass / And I don't think I'll ever make it back / So I throw stones at walls I'll never climb / Victim to the sands of time / Falling through the hourglass, the hourglass // Time is strange, it's ever flowing, never going back / It moves but only in one way / Turn the page, look back at what you wrote / Do you still feel the same? / I'll bet your mind has changed

[docholligay]

Not sure if you've mentioned it before, but your recent asks got me thinking: do you hc any of your SM/OW faves having tattoos?

Yes!

In my SM universe, Minako definitely does, a set of garter belts on her thighs, with stocking "backseam" with a few little hearts in a line. She's very classy, and it was a bit the moment of a sexy impulse.

Haruka is not QUITE what I would call a lesbian fuckboy, but she certainly has fuckboi qualities, and so I know, in my heart of hearts, she would have tattoos. She's actually my most inked character. I think I can count on one hand the number of butches I know who DON'T honestly. So she has a common masculine AND I AM TREADING EXTREMELY LIGHTLY HERE tattoo on her forearm, so common I'm not even one hundred percent sure what it is: It says "Basic bro tattoo" in my notes *grits teeth*

So your short of single ijnked in band, or tribal, or a nautical star, or chevrons, or...I mean, you know exactly what I'm talking about, you've seen it on at least one butch lesbian in her life, and it was DEFINITELY done when she just got old enough because she wanted to look cool and tough. She laughs about it in her old age. Maybe even does something neat with it.

But also, she has a tattoo of the great wave off kanagawa on her left shoulder like this:

Which is for Michiru, and Michiru waits until they are like, 50, to tell Haruka that a tattoo was never something she necessarily wanted Haruka to do for her, and indeed only gave her parents other thing to criticize (Haruka knows this at this point) but also if one WERE to get a tattoo of the furious sea, she is more a WInslow or Aivazovsky type., Rembrandt if we long for low hanging fruit. ANd Haruka just laughs.

Going my full AU, once she gets hurt, and gets on with it, she decides that if people are going to stare at her scars she's going to give them something to stare at, with something that sort of plays with the appearance of her scars rather than trying to hide them--if it's a formal event she'll be wearing pants anyway, so who cares?--and it's a swashbuckling feather and flower and sword situation.

In OW land, Lena has the RAF insignia on her left shoulder with an banner that says "Oxton" underneath, the exact same one her father had, and her aunt, and her cousin Parvati also has. Pretty much any OXton who graduates from fast-jet training.

She also has the hello kitty bow on her buttcheek.

Fareeha has, of course, her canon tattoo, the eye of Horus under her eye and then also a hello kitty bow on her buttcheek.

Hana never got a tattoo while she was in the South Korean limelight trying to be the darling of Busan and soldier--she would have had to cover it up anyhow--and one of her first acts when she takes over as Commander of Overwatch is, impulsively and a bit stupidly, a flash sparrow on her on her upper chest, near her collarbone. It's silly and stupid, sure, but it was the first time in her life, that she can remember, where her body and her presentation felt purely her own, and if she wanted a stupid flash sparrow by god she was going to GET ONE. Later one she changes it a bit so it can mean a little something, but even before then she never hates it because of what it symbolizes.

[crispy-bonnie]

yo!,, idk if requests are open or not,,, but um if they are or when they are, is it possible 2 get a fluff and/or hurt/comfort fic involving Bain or Houston with a trans male s/o? there's not a lot of content for them and they're my fave characters,, ty!,,

insert cries in trans-masc but presents as fem that aside , i haven’t made much houston content so i’m gonna give that one a shot . keep it mind that it might be ooc because i still have yet to master writing his character lmao also this one is gonna be a bit shorter than usual because it's almost 1 am here and oh my god i wanna sleep but also write at the same time grahhh

Procedure - HOUSTON X TRANS-MASC! READER

His footsteps echoed down the somewhat busy hall as he paced back and forth, one hand to his mouth as he chewed desperately on his nails whilst the other was behind his back, his fist clenched as he used every fiber of his being to not break down into full panic.

Never in Houston’s life would he come to face this moment, and even though it was one of many steps for your journey, he still was nervous anyhow. What if something goes wrong during the procedure? What if you don’t make it off the table? There were so many possibilities running through his head, it was hard to focus on something less terrifying.

He knew you were in the hands of professionals, and he knew that you were well prepared for this day both mentally and physically, but why was he so scared regardless? What seemed like forever of terror, he finally snapped out of it when someone was calling for his attention.

Snapping his head towards the source, Houston found himself standing across from a nurse, who had a calm smile on her face as she said:

“[Y/N] is finished with his surgery if you would like to see him no-“

“YES!” He paused for a moment, his cheeks tinged pink in em embarrassment as he coughed into his hand and repeated in a calmer manner, “Y-yes, I’d like to see him now please.”

It wasn't long before he found himself standing at the doorway of your room, seeing you staring blankly at your IV, and he could feel the waterworks starting to run. He was just so relieved that you were okay.

He did his best to keep a calm composure as he walked up to you, attempting to be gentle as he placed his hand on yours. His heart fluttered as your groggy eyes met his formerly-worried ones.

"Hey..." You mumbled, flashing him a warm yet tired smile. You still definitely were under a few effects of the anesthesia, but that didn't stop you from lightening the mood in the room. "Did...did I make it...? Did it work?"

"Y-yeah...it did." Houston nodded, watching as you looked down at your chest, your smile starting to widen as you brought your hands towards the aforementioned area.

"Th- I- It's gone..." You were starting to cry as your brain started to connect the dots. "They're gone I- I feel so- so light..."

Houston nodded, leaning down to kiss your tears away softly. Though they were tears of joy, he didn't want you wasting your energy like this. You two still had a long trip back to the safe house.

"Shh, don't cry, my lovebug. I don't want you to be too tired before we get home, okay?" He hummed, pressing another kiss to your cheek, smiling as you nodded gently. Houston was relieved you made it through, and he was most certainly excited knowing that you made it another step into your journey.

[black-eilla]

For the fanfiction/fandom questions or whatever it is.

7, 16, 28, 48, 51.

Thanks for asking immediately after I reblogged it!

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

Well, to be honest, I don't know if I can call these NoTPs but here you go. Naruto: For sure, SasuKarin will always be the biggest NoTP for me in fiction. I don't like their dynamic, because it's pretty eerie and creepy. SasuSaku is misunderstood to be like that by SK fans, but sorry it's the other way around. SasuKarin is nowhere near SasuSaku to me. And I quite don't like SasuHina too. Nothing compels me to ship them. I don't like KibaHina or even ShinoHina. I can't imagine Hinata with anybody besides Naruto. Beyblade: Well, for sure MaxxMariam is not my cup of tea, welp sorry. I can write something for them, but I can never ship them or imagine them as a couple. They have enough scenes, but their personality types together as a couple are not really my thing. Rick and Mariah's ship is something I never thought about. I am quite indifferent towards ReixSalima too. I mean their dynamic is good, but I guess their scenes are not pretty solid enough to ship them, given that Ray is one of the mainstream characters. But it's all just to my eyes only. KaixHilary is also a couple I show less interest in. Jujutsu Kaisen: SukunaxMegumi? SukunaXYuji? I don't like them. Gintama: GintokixKagura? Pedophilic.

I don't think I have NoTPs from other fandoms I've been in. Or I guess I can't think at the moment.

16. Are their any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

I guess my answer is the same as that of the above, excluding all the infamous ones.

28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

I want somebody to draw a fanart for this story called "I care".

48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not?

Yes, I do leave reviews for most of the fics I read, because the writers would be tempted to get reviews, and I would also feel the same when someone reads my fics too. So, I guess it would be hypocrisy if I don't leave them.

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

AAAHHH

Don't compel me to read fics that I don't want to! And why the heck the fewer reviews I get! T-T

I just wish I had more readers around, and the lack of readers made me not publish fics for longer go. I wish I could get back to writing but I'm not motivated enough. The sparse reviews kinda tick me tbh. Fics featuring my underrated faves don't get much recognition. Or I guess I should have joined earlier.

BTW I kinda ranted in the 7th question itself hahaha.

Anyhow thanks for the ask!

[nimata-beroya]

MY THOUGHTS ON THE MANDALORIAN - Chapter 21 "The Pirate"

I come with this review super late, oops! I was going to post it on the weekend, but rl got in the way. Anyhow, I love this episode so freaking much!! It might've jumped to one of my faves this season. It continued giving me more of Mandalorian culture, the dynamic within the cover, Mandalorian kicking asses like the badasses they are, and of course, ZEB!!! Woohoo!! \o/

To be honest, this episode was the only thing that has kept me since last Wednesday from spiraling to a bottomless pit and drown in my own tears because of TBB season finale. This episode was the exactly what I needed to lift my spirits.

Let's dive in…

Ok! Nevarro, pirates; this is the one where Mandos come to Nevarro to kick some asses. Good!

Damn! Pity that the pirates are destroying the city now that it was all so nice and at peace.

Where is this? A Republic pilot bar, ok, but where?

Wait! is that Dave and Deborah and Rick? Mandatory cameo per season!

Oh! Captain Teva! Greef Karga sent the message to him, I thought he'd sent it to Din, but ok. This works too, I guess.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBBB!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! THAT'S ZEB!! ZEB ZEB ZEB ZEB ZEB!!!

(Note from now that I've calmed down and watched the episode like 15 times already: I never imagine that they'd introduce live-action Zeb in the Mandalorian, and I cannot believe how GREAT he looks!! Oh my gosh! I always thought that he might be the character that wasn't going to look too well in live action, and I'm over the moon that I was so wrong! I love all the details, his new uniform, all his facial expression!! Not only that, but I'm ecstatic about his cameo. The scene didn't last long, but it was enough to cut off some of my funk because of TBB season finale. This cameo definitely pushed my hype for the Ahsoka show to the sky.

But also, it left very important questions unanswered: WHERE THE HELL IS KALLUS? and why he wasn't there next to his husband?)

Coruscant, hmm! I need to say that I'm not surprised by the lack of interest of the new republic for things happening in the outer rim. But I'm glad that Teva is picked up the bad vibes from that imp chick. At least we can count on him to be more aware than most.

Isn't that the planet where the covert is?

It is!! How Teva found them? And I don't think Mandos will be happy about that! See, I told you!

Wait, what? who? Oh!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 R5D4! Of course, I forgot!

Actually Teva, it IS his fight, it's just he doesn't know it yet.

Ooh! Mando council! Nice! (See, this is the kind of things I wanna see. I know there's plenty of people criticizing this and that about the season, but so far It has been giving me the look into Mandalorian culture I wanted to see, especially from the covert. I know they're setting things up for what's left of this season and next one, too.)

It's funny that they use the armorer's hammer as a talking stick, but I guess it makes sense. I mean, Mandos are prone to pick up fight for the littlest things so it seems a good way to put order to this council meetings, and not having everyone screaming at each other.

OOOOH! To me, Din hasn't looked more as the Mand'alor than right here, giving his speech. A leader that doesn't think in battles but about the future of his people, a future when they don't need to hide. (it's subtle things like this that show me, even if sometimes it goes over other people's head, Din's character growth this season. It might not be in your face as it was in seasons past, but it's there, and it's beautiful to witness)

Oh Paz! Don't fuck this up for Din, baby. You're better than that.

YES!!! This is the way!!! Good job, Paz! Let's kick some pirate asses!!

There he is! But why he brought Grogu with him (i mean I know why) but seems stupid bringing your kid to a battle when you could leave him perfectly safe back home. Altho, this might be the best, considering that foundlings and midagers are the ones left behind in the covert and I doubt any of them could control Grogu. Din said, nope, I'm taking my kid with me where I can keep an eye on him. Otherwise, we might find chaos when we return)

Mando dropping off the gauntlet! Nice! Watching Mandos being badasses is so freaking cool!! Oh! The armorer kicking ass too! YESSSSSS!!!! Omg! She threw her hammer!

This whole sequence was amazing!! I want more!!!! When can I get more?

Nice speech, Karga.

(And I can't wait to see Mandalorians walking around the city next episode during daylight. It's something that's been changing over the seasons. In season one, everything was in the shadows and pretty dark (both literally and figuratively), with a few exceptions. Season 2 started about the same, but I feel Din spent just a bit more time in less dark places. Season 3 has been pretty much in light most of the time. With the exceptions of the mines of Mandalore and the council meeting in this episode (and Coruscant) has been under the sun. The shift of Mandalorians coming out of hiding has also been represented visually with light.)

Oooh! The Armorer want to talk to Bo? Why?

Wait, What?!! remove her helmet?!! What is this?

OH! The armorer is realizing good things. That there are different ways to be mandalorians and that they need to band together despite the differences because in the end all ARE mandalorians. Nice!

Hmm, so she's sending Bo to fetch more Mandalorians. I think I understand why she's sending Bo and not Din, since he also walked both worlds, as she put it, but it makes sense tome that it's Bo instead.

LOL! All mandos are like wait what?! watching Bo walking by. And Bo is not exactly comfortable about it. Not that I blame her. And Paz is the one who likes it least!

I know it seems that everyone is joking that the moment the Armorer says that Bo will reunite Mandalorians and bring them, Din is like "I'm a joke to you?!" But i think he's not! He's more like "Thank the Manda! If she's the one bringing all tribes together, then she can take the laser sword from me and I'm free of the responsibility!" That's what he's thinking, and that's why he nods to Paz so Paz is ok with Bo taking her helmet off. Joke is on him because I don't think she will challenge him for the darksaber. I think the show is heading toward like both being leaders,, each representing different aspects of what's to be a mandalorian. A joined tenure in being Mand'alors.. Mand'alore

Besides, there's an aspect of the lore about the Darksaber that hasn't been mentioned in season 3 yet, but the Armorer DID mention it in TBoBF, which is the bit of "One warrior will defeat 20 and the multitude will fall before it", which is unclear if it is 20 challenges for the darksaber, if winning a fight with 20-to-1 odds against, or if it's the total of defeats they've had in since claiming the darksaber or whatever. What's worse, it could be applied to both Din and Bo, but it could be the thing that push the scale to either side to decide who will be Mand'alor if they go with just one leader at the head of all Mandalorians.

I knew I knew it I knew it!! I knew since that reformed imp mentioned it in Chapter 19 that the rumor of Moff Gideon escaping was true (and it crosses one of my Mando season 3 bingo's square). The question now is who broke him out and why? Because there are several possibilities here.

One, that it was Gideon's people, using Death troopers. Which could explained the Beskar alloy embedded in the wall. I have the impression that the armor of those troopers could be of a low quality beskar (hence beskar alloy) that was forged without the living waters and that's why it's not impervious to lightsaber (as we saw in the season 2 finale when Luke cut through them like butter with a hot knife) but it's much better than any armor of other metal alloy.

Two, that it was actually a group of Mandalorians, not Din's covert tho, perhaps Koska Reeves and company, or another group. But this isn't likely because, they'd have killed him on sight. Taking him prisoner makes no much sense if it's just about revenge. But I won't rule it out yet.

I heard comments about people thinking that could've been Ahsoka and Sabine, and that can't be right because they wouldn't have killed new republic officers. So, no, it wasn't them.

It could've been Imperial supercomandos, under whose orders? Gideon's or Thrawn's? I don't know but this makes sense. It's very possible that it was under Thrawn's orders, especially since I heard a rumor (I think it was the very Giancarlo Esposito who said it, but take it with a grain of salt) that Gideon and Thrawn are obviously the antagonists to Din and co., but that they're not on the exact same page, that there's some friction between them. So I'm thinking Thrawn extracted him, either to remove a hindrance to his plans or so GIdeon didn't talk about the plans. Thrawn might want him on a short leash at the moment.

And there's also the possibility that the piece of beskar has the only objective to incriminate the Mandalorians and who extracted Gideon is everything but Mandalorian.

I'm curious to see where this is going. Thankfully, Wednesday is around the corner!

[ocd-kenobi]

since your ask box is empty: do you have any recommendations for stuff to watch, read, listen to, etc during autumn or in october? or just tell me about some of your fave media you haven't had a chance to really talk about here!

Ooh yes!

My favorite autumn record isn't even actually an album; it's one of those weird themed posthumous collections you used to find at like, Borders or something. It's called Ella & Louis for Lovers. My mom got it for me when I was in high school and was starting to get obsessed with Ella Fitzgerald because I'd just been in a really cool Ella Fitzgerald ballet production. Then after falling in love with my wife I got obsessed with how beautiful and transcendental the songs on it are, like they're all about how the weather is stormy and nature is changing and being in love is the same as being one with nature. That's what they all seem like to me anyway haha. Pop music used to be so good, man. Anyhow, I listen to Ella and Louis records a lot, but this particular lucky collection is perfect autumn music.

Other autumn recs: my wife's Durin's Day playlist (for those who celebrate), my favorite Powerwolf album (vampire werewolf clergy metal band with the opera singer and the organ), The October Project (which I feel I have to mention just for the name, but they're an underrated 90s band imo), and this spooky graveyard music video for this Pandora's Box song (and I wish their album was on Spotify because they are an underrated and fascinating 80s girl group.)

One last thing! I saw the Song of the Sea last night for the first time (dreadfully late) and I sobbed so much my abs hurt today. I adored everything about it. Selkies are everything to me, but the film had even more than that going on. It was great. And I didn't even know that it took place around Halloween/Samhain until we started watching it! So if you want a new Halloween tradition, it's a great film and it is thematically important that it takes place during Samhain. I just loved it.