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nobodyfamousposts · 9 months

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Coffeenette

For the record, they blame Alya. All of them do. No question. They will never NOT blame Alya for this.

Even Nino, who is her boyfriend and supposed to support her. He’s agreed with her about almost everything. But not about this.

Even Rose, who is the sweetest girl in their class. She’ll apologize and be really nice about it, but she still blames Alya.

Heck, even Chloe did, which was a surprise. She was a bully sure, but as such, anyone would have thought this sort of thing would be beneath her. Though it could simply be that she just liked having any excuse to make fun of someone.

…Or so they thought until they saw Chloe scramble away to hide as soon as she saw it happen.

But none of them blamed Alya more for this situation than Marinette, who could only swear all unholy vengeance and glare daggers at her soon to be ex-best friend as she took her sole reason for living in this cold and terrible world and threw it in the garbage!

“Marinette, come on. It’s not that big of a deal!”

“It was innocent…”

“It was a cup of coffee!”

“The perfect cup of coffee. The coffee to end all coffees. Brewed to perfection and at just the right temperature. I could have died happily with that coffee. No other cup of coffee will ever compare. Ambrosia was in that cup and you threw it away!”

“Are you serious?!”

“Shh. Shh…I must mourn.”

“Get off the floor!”

“Mourn, I say!”

Oh sure, some had shrugged it off at the time. Alya had just rolled her eyes and dragged Marinette to class—coffeeless. Others had simply laughed a little at the dramatic display before moving on.

But those who knew better were panicking.

Some were already looking up therapists. Two were immediately calling their parents to ask about a school transfer. A few had given up on life and were writing up their wills.

It should be made clear: Marinette Dupain-Cheng was a kind girl. Sweet. Dedicated. Dependable. If you needed help, she was there. She was the one to look to for a solution to any problem. She was the first to put forth an effort and offer an olive branch, even if you hurt her. And of course the last thing she ever wanted to do was upset anyone. And if she did, she would be the first to apologize and try to make up for it.

…the problem was that this was all when Marinette was in a good space. And while her good days exceeded her bad days, that was not to say that there were not bad days. And when she had her bad days, they were…bad.

The thing that few knew about Marinette Dupain-Cheng was that there were…times, you could say, when she was not her normal friendly self. Times when she was…

…Grumpy.

Kind of mean.

Downright brutal, actually.

It only happened when she was either very angry or very stressed.

Which, unfortunately for everyone, has been increasing quite a bit since Hawk Moth made his grand entrance into the world of supervillainy.

Marinette had been stressed for a while and it showed. She’d been losing sleep. And they could tell she’s been more groggy given how frequently she’s been walking into walls and doors. They had thought this was cute at first. They had even laughed about it.

They hadn’t realized that this was actually only the first stage. Not until she started coming in with coffee—something she hadn’t done in years.

Marinette struggled when she was tired.

Thanks to Hawk Moth, she had lately been very tired.

And with her consistent lack of sleep, coffee had been her best friend. Or at least her best consumable friend. The sort of friend that brought her relief and made living bearable.

…until Alya took it away.

It turned out that Marinette’s parents had become…”concerned” about Marinette’s caffeine intake and had forbidden her from the beverage. Normally, they could only keep it away from her at home by either keeping her from the coffee pot or when necessary, switching to decaf. But Marinette had found ways around that by getting her bitter bitter life-saving paint stripper juice outside, usually on the way to school.

Or at least, she used to. But this was a new year and THIS time, Marinette had a new friend—and a BEST FRIEND at that in the form of Alya Cesaire, whom Tom and Sabine had chosen to enlist in their plot to protect their daughter from things that weren’t good for her.

Like coffee. Her precious life-preserving coffee.

And next to the Ladyblog and her secondary role as Rena Rouge, Alya had never jumped on anything faster.

Marinette’s morning coffee run? Done. A thing of the past as Alya would walk her to school and ensure they made no other stops along the way.

Marinette’s stash of coffee and energy drinks? Ransacked. Alya searched her locker, her desk, her bags. And being Marinette’s best friend, she knew ALL of her potential hiding spots.

Marinette’s emergency chocolate-covered espresso beans? Taken. Alya practically treated it like it was radioactive given the gloves and goggles she wore as she removed them. And in her defense, they very well may have been. Marinette was very tight-lipped over just where she had gotten them. She had tried to hide the fact that they WERE espresso beans, but Alya still wasn’t fooled.

Alya was on the hunt and there was NOTHING that could stop her. For her best friend’s “greater good”.

…as far as Marinette was concerned, the “greater good” could shove it.

She saved Paris on a daily basis! This was the LEAST it could give her in return!

Sadly, it appeared that Alya—and by extension Paris, cared not for Marinette’s sacrifice. Thus she was left to stew in her growing rage…stew like the precious brew she was being deprived of.

Up until that point it was clear that Marinette had been surviving on coffee and sheer spite. And now she only had one of those two things left.

But it would be fine! Really!

…so long as no one earned her ire.

Chloe had been one such unfortunate recipient of that ire some time ago in her younger days. Though Marinette had profusely apologized to her afterwards, Chloe never forgot and has held it against her ever since.

...well, after her several month sabbatical from school, at any rate.

So the fact that Chloe was suddenly trying to convince her father to let her take a vacation in the middle of the school year should have been a major red flag.

…or the way Marinette slammed her bag on her desk to get the class’s attention when they started getting off task and too loud in class.

……or the death glare she gave Kim the instant he tried to poke fun at her state with a literal poke to her cheek to try to wake her…and the injured finger he received for his trouble when she grabbed the offending object and bent it back.

…………or how most of the teachers were conveniently refraining from giving them any homework assignments they knew they should have been getting. Or not acknowledging Marinette’s grumpy behavior and sleeping in class. Or avoiding even looking in Marinette’s general direction.

The point was that it was evident that not all was right in the classroom and especially with their normally kind and happy Everyday Ladybug.

To their credit, the classmates had tried to bring Marinette coffee in order to help restore her to her usual state...or at least avoid her wrath.

But all their attempts were for naught, as Alya herself had become something of a bloodhound for caffeine. And having appointed herself as enforcer of the coffee ban, she would confiscate any form of the substance they tried to bring in and dispose of it in short order—much to the classmates’ horror and Marinette’s growing displeasure.

As far as the class could figure, it seemed that coffee was either simply useful in keeping Marinette awake and aware, or it was a comfort to her when she was feeling stressed.

Probably both.

And Alya, in all her misguided concern for the girl’s health, had taken it upon herself to remove the one thing keeping Marinette stable. Stable and happy and not inclined to traumatize anyone unfortunate enough to get in her way.

So yes, everyone in the class did blame her. They didn’t do anything about that resentment, of course, but they did still blame her.

Not that Alya seemed to care.

“Alya.” Nino knelt—literally knelt before her, his hands clasped as if in prayer. “Please. I’m begging you! Just let the girl have her coffee!”

She only rolled her eyes before throwing away yet another cup Marinette had managed to procure from the teacher’s lounge—somehow completely ignoring the daggers the other girl was glaring at them all with from the window of the classroom.

Alya was unmoved.

And seemingly oblivious to the scratch marks on the window left in the wake of Marinette’s pawing.

“It’s for her own good.” Alya insisted, much to the growing horror and frustration of those around her.

“What about our good?“

“You’ll be fine.“ She said dismissively.

“She made Kim cry!” Nino exclaimed, gripping his hat.

“You’re exaggerating.“

“She brought out the Vial. Do I need to tell you about the Vial?“

“The what now?“

“Marinette has a special Vial she carries during…these times.” Max explained as he helped the despondent Nino to his feet.

Alya blinked.

“Okay?”

“She uses that Vial to collect the tears of anyone who so much as annoys her while she’s in this state!”

“That’s a little weird, but—”

Nino cut her off.

“She uses those tears to flavor her coffee.”

Alya stared.

“What?”

“She flavors her coffee with tears, Alya!” He continued, gripping her shoulders. “Not cream! Not sugar! Not cinnamon or chocolate or pumpkin spice like normal people and Americans! TEARS! OUR TEARS! What does that tell you?!”

“That tells me you’re exaggerating.“ She replied, looking decidedly unimpressed. And thus cruelly ignored his whimpering as she tossed the rest of the coffee into the trash bin.

She shot them a look as she slammed the bin lid closed, as if daring them to challenge her.

Nino looked on the verge of a breakdown.

Max sighed and texted the others.

To everyone else, the slamming of that bin lid was akin to a signal…one that indicated the sealing of their fates.

Some cried. Some prayed.

Most chose to stay out of the way.

…that was likely all they could do.

Other than blame Alya, of course. Which they did.

As Marinette’s antics changed from funny “walking into walls isn’t she cute” to less funny “eviscerate your soul with words”.

As whispers from the rest of the school followed the classmates, offering them sympathy and prayers.

As the very atmosphere changed from a sense of melancholy to ever growing unease and outright paranoia. As if her presence itself brought with it something seemingly eldritch in nature.

And through it all, Alya ignored the warnings and insisted this was for the best.

To be fair, it was perhaps her friendship with Marinette that offered her some protection from the worst of it.

…others were not spared.

Timothy—everyone remember Timothy? Prominent student and good friend to the rest of the class. Top of his class. Fellow swimmer and athlete to Kim and Odine. Was one of the few people Chloe would listen to. Tried to help Nino throw the party during Bubbler and the only one to notice Sabrina hadn’t appeared in a while in Antibug. Remember? That Timothy. Had totally been there all along and was well liked by everyone. Possibly as much as Adrien.

…until he admonished Marinette for bumping into him and not looking where she was going.

And.

Marinette.

Snapped.

It was the moment Marinette finally had enough. Both of the lack of coffee and of holding back her frustration about the situation.

It was also the last time Timothy was seen at school. Or anywhere for that matter. Given how abrupt it was and how people actively avoid mentioning him again, some question if he had ever really existed…

Eh, probably not. It was likely just a rumor.

What wasn’t a rumor was how Chloe (after being denied being allowed to ditch school) presumed that a new year and being Queen Bee meant she was stronger than she had been before and thus strong enough to put the caffeine-deprived version of Marinette in her place. She would prove to Marinette, to herself, and to everyone that SHE was the head bitch in charge.

Marinette was abruptly woken out of a nice daydream that either involved Adrien or coffee or Adrien AND coffee to find herself being yelled at. And find herself face to face with Chloe.

Oh wait, Chloe was the one yelling at her.

She had a hard time making out what Chloe was saying, but the fact remained that it WAS Chloe. Which was never a pleasant place to begin any realization.

It would help if she had coffee.

Was there coffee?

Marinette looked at her depressingly empty hands.

No.

"Well?! Do you hear me?!" Chloe shouted.

Marinette looked up at the blonde and took a slow breath before opening her mouth to speak.

...

…thirty minutes later, Sabrina found Chloe catatonic under her desk and took her home early.

To be fair, she had brought it on herself. After all, she really should have learned her lesson from the last time. But still, it was hard to forget the scene as Sabrina gently guide her out of the building as Chloe mumbled to herself, her face pale, her mascara running, and her eyes wide and haunted.

She was out for the rest of the week.

Bustier was...no help. In her ever rose-tinted fashion, she attempted to speak with Marinette early on what had been a particularly bad morning.

“Marinette, I heard you’ve been having some trouble with your classmates.”

It took a minute for Marinette to realize Bustier was there, much less that she was trying to have a conversation.

“—argument with Chloe the other day. It seems like whatever you had said really hurt Chloe’s feelings.”

Marinette blinked, trying to comprehend what was being said to her.

“—was uncalled for. Chloe didn’t deserve that.”

Bustier. Something about Chloe? She hadn’t seen her in a while. She thought things had been quieter lately…

“—you know how Chloe is and that she needs help. Surely whatever she said couldn’t have been that bad, and—”

These were clearly words, but they weren’t making sense.

“—remember what I said before about the Marinette’s of the world? It’s important to show love to people, even if they aren’t nice. So they can learn from your good example and—”

Marinette.exe needed coffee to continue this conversation.

“I think the two of you can talk this out. You can apologize to Chloe and model the right behaviors.”

Was there coffee to continue?

“—and who knows? Maybe the two of you will even become the best of friends!”

No.

“—what do you think?”

Marinette frowned at Bustier and opened her mouth to speak.

...

...it would be the first and only time Bustier would make such an attempt to speak to coffee-deprived Marinette. Nobody knows exactly what happened, as the students had come in when class started only to find Bustier in the aftermath, sobbing over her desk and completely inconsolable.

No class was had that day.

#ml fic #marinette dupain cheng #alya cesaire #coffeenette #why alya why #alas poor timothy #we...didn't really know you at all actually #but you will be missed #yes I'm actually writing this #pray for me #pray for everyone actually #the poor poor traumatized souls

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liesmyth · 11 months

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I want to start running...any tips?

I WAS BORN TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION. Thank you so much for asking! Unfortunately, I am a nerd about my hobbies so this got quite long.

Keep it simple ✨

Running is easy to get into; our bodies are built for it. Don’t stress over technicalities and just do what feels natural to you. My local races are full of 70-something white-haired pensioners who are kicking ass at it. Don’t let anyone tell you that running is meant to feel like dying, that’ll harm your knees, or that you absolutely need to have that specific smartwatch model to get into it. All you need is a solid pair of shoes, everything else is optional.

Medium effort is the way to go

The ideal aerobic running pace is a speed at which you’re able to hold a conversation, even if a bit winded. NO faster. If you’re able to sing along to your playlist or chat with a friend, that’s your ideal running pace. If you’re gasping or wheezing, slow down! You’ll get a bit faster as your lung capacity gets better, but that shouldn’t be a priority unless you want to train for a race. You get most of the health benefits of running just by keeping up a steady, sustainable, conversational pace.

Walking breaks are fine, actually

That’s the reason why I don’t love C25K as a beginner program — the way it’s structured sort of implies that walking breaks are something you should grow out of to become a more experienced runner. If you need to walk for a bit, go ahead.

If possible, jogging is preferable, just because the mechanics of even a glacial-pace jog are more similar to running than those of a faster power walk, so you might try switching to a jog after a bit of a walking interval. But walking is not a failure; there are serious marathon training plans out there that use walk/run intervals as a viable strategy.

(Related: picking up speed helps you keep going! If you feel like you are completely drained, try speeding up for a very short interval, then slowing back down. It’ll often give you an energy boost to keep going)

Run for time, not distance ⌚

Especially for beginners, I find that getting fixated on numbers can be counter productive, and the most important thing is to listen to your body. If you’re aiming to hit a certain mileage, you might get the urge to speed up at the end to get done faster. Instead, set yourself time-based goals and end every run with a cool down jog or walk.

SHOES!! 👟

Good running shoes are essential, and pretty much the only fitness-related purchase on which I’ll always support dropping money. If you get to the point where you’re consistently running 10 km (6 miles) each week, you’ll want to go to a running store — the kind of place where you’ll get fitted, and they’ll have you try on models and jog on a treadmill to evaluate your gait and let you know which characteristics your ideal shoe needs. I can’t stress enough how useful running store staff can be. They’re all running club nerds who LOVE getting new people into running, and they really want to help you find your ideal fit. Also get good running socks while you’re at it.

Be prepared to drop at least 100€ (or equivalent currency) but they usually have a great return policy if the model isn’t a good fit for you. Take care of your running shoes — maintenance, wearing them only for running, gentle cleansing etc — and the cushioning will last for quite a while (600km / 370miles at least). If you decide that you hate running, they’re still great for walking around. Once you find your ideal shoe model, it gets a lot easier to shop for it during end-of-season sales, or looking for online bargains etc. I love stocking on end-of-series shoes and rotating them so they’ll last even longer, and I buy online quite often! Just make sure your FIRST pair is fitted, for ideal injury prevention and joint health.

Injury prevention 💪

I’d love to still be running 10k races when I’m 70, but it takes some care to get there. When you run, you’re slamming your body weight up and down with every stride, and that might be hard on your joints if you’re not used to it. If you’re completely new to running, cap your runs at 15/20 minutes every other day. Do that even if you feel like you could keep going! If you have a good aerobic base already, you need to give your joints time to catch up with you lung capacity, and give your body time to recover. Do bodyweight exercises like lunges and planks and glute bridges to strengthen your core, legs, and hips. Dynamic stretches are great for warmups, and static stretches are better for cooling down. If you have the option, running on softer surface like grass or dirt is better than asphalt, which is better than concrete and pavements.

(If nothing of what I’ve said here makes sense to you, shoot me another ask, or look at some of the resources I’ve linked down below!)

Don't get bored! 🎶

I love running in groups. Running clubs are great. You can learn so much in a hands-on way from seriously experienced people, you can chat about gossip over a running job, and you can make some interesting friends. If you don’t have access to a running community, then personally I love just chilling on a run by myself listening to an audiobook or podcast or exploring a certain area.

Running form❓

Don’t stress about it. Just go out and move your body. Attempting to modify your ‘running form’ too quickly can do more harm than good. There ARE a few things you could pay attention to — I recommend trying to focus on one of these at a time for a minute or so, and alternate between them. After a while, it’ll start to feel natural to keep track of all of them:

1. Don’t slouch! But a slight lean forward is great.

2. Keep your shoulders pulled down and your upper back tense.

3. Swinging your arms in a way that helps with your stride is good, but I shouldn’t feel forced.

4. Even breaths, inhaling through your mouth and expiring through your nose.

5. Take turns to check with every part of your body, and relax them in turn: are your jaw and neck too tense? Are your fists tight?

6. Don’t overstride! shorter strides with quicker leg turnover are better than huge strides that feel awkward to you.

7. Use your glutes to drive up the motion of your legs, not just your quads. This can take a while to get used to, but it’s a game-changer.

8. ENGAGE YOUR CORE. This is a great skill to develop whether you work out or are just existing in the world — basically, let your inner abdominal muscles help you carry your weight forward. This is VERY intuitive once you know how to do it, but it��s hard to get a grasp of it if you don’t know what it means, so here are some resources about it.

an extremely fucking comprehensive article that improved my life and eased my big-boobs back pain

similar content but in video form

a running-specific form video

Personally, learning to do this made me feel like I unlocked a superpower. Go forth and brace.

Accessories and tips 🤓

Like I said above, the only thing I really suggest spending money on for real is running shoes. Everything else is details! However, I’m nothing if not wordy I have Thoughts about those details, too.

Run tracking: I suggest downloading Runkeeper if you want to keep track of your runs — it’s free, intuitive, and solid! If you decide to get into wearables, a low-level Garmin >>>>> anything else.

Self-care: use sunscreen and/or thick face cream as needed. Stop to sip at a public fountain if needed. Get a small fanny pack to hold your phone, keys, or lip balm if needed. If chafing is an issue, anti-glide gel is relatively affordable.

Outfits etc: I get all my running gear and clothes from Decathlon — they are in most countries and ship worldwide. I especially love this thermal shirt for colder weather

Safety: if you’re running on the road, make sure to run in the opposite direction from traffic and to wear something bright. If you run with headphones near traffic, keep the volume down, or get over-the-ear conductor headsets. I love shokz, they're fantastic.

Post-run snack: eating something small and carb-heavy within 30 mins of a workout is great for kickstarting recovery. I love dried fruit personally.

Various resources 📝

Routine basics: check out the r/running order of operations, which is a great “how to” guide to building a basic running routine. I also recommend that subreddit's wiki! Running programming gets exponentially more involved the more advanced you get, etc — if you ever have any questions, hit me up!

Dynamic stretching warmup: a quick leg swing workout to get your legs ready to go. If you’re feeling overachieving, here’s a lunge warmup routine and a how-to bodyweight squat video.

Cooldown routine! Check out Strength and Mobility, a great post-run quick cooldown routine that includes some bodyweight exercises to strengthen your hips and core. Video included.

that's all, folks! 🏃‍♀️

Sorry I got carried away! I love running. I love getting people into running. My mental health, cardiovascular system and my popping quads also love running. But FYI, some people hate running and that's also fine! If you decide it’s not for you, find something you like more. There are a lot of misconceptions out there and a lot of guilt-tripping and body shame-y rhetoric around exercising, especially aimed at women, and I want to make clear it’s all bullshit. Just have fun <3

#Anonymous #ask #jockposting #running #fitblr #exercise tips #running basics #exercise #runblr #long post #for reference I mostly run in brooks ghosts but I use the levitate for speedwork and more intense long runs #I stock whenever there's a sale on runnea or runningwarehouse or whatever #pinned

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theerurishipper · 11 months

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Shadybug and Claw Noir's relationship is so interesting to me. It's just a lot of small things that add up so well to form one great picture. It's like... they don't like each other, but they also need each other. Despite their glaring differences, their relationship is characterized by mutual support. Shadyclaw are partners in a world where mutual aid is a crime.

There are so many scenes in the special that show this really well. Shadybug and Claw Noir are always snapping at each other, and they're almost constantly fighting each other. But they're also such a well-oiled team, and they actually do work really well together. Like in the first fight with Ladybug. Claw Noir took the first strike to force Ladybug to dodge and Shadybug grabbed her when she was off balance. Or when they attacked Monarch at the same time and came at him from different sides. They function well as a team despite their differences.

They can't win on their own, and despite what they say, the episode proves them wrong immediately. Shadybug says she doesn't need Claw Noir, but the very next scene is her hiding behind him as he cataclysms the Akuma. And Claw Noir also needs Shadybug, because he asks her what they should do next, proving that he does rely on her plans. And I think they do know this, even if they don't want to admit that they depend on each other.

And all this is so interesting! But what's really more interesting to me is the emotional element of their relationship.

Like, Emonette has spent her life without any support or help from anyone, without anyone to depend on. She doesn't have friends; she doesn't have "a boyfriend who doesn't think she's a total loser," and she doesn't have a mom she can depend on (for whatever reason that may be). She's all alone in the world. She can't trust or rely on anyone.

Except Claw Noir.

Because whether she likes him or not, he's there. He works with her, he follows her plans, he's always there. Maybe he mocks her, maybe he tries to take her Miraculous (like she does to him), but he's a constant presence by her side, and she is aware that he's not going away anytime soon. And it's not like the bullying she suffered, because here, she's on equal terms with him. She can give as good as she gets.

And she does rely on him! Like I said before, she needs him. For the powers he brings to the table, at least, she needs him. And I think for someone as lonely as Emonette, the assurance that he'll stick by her no matter what, even if he's annoying and rude, is comforting in its own way. She doesn't like him, she's angry that he keeps trying to take her Miraculous. But she trusts him. Maybe not deeply, but for someone as lonely and hurt as Emonette is, having even that much trust in someone is hard.

Her reaction to him trying to take her Miraculous is also so interesting to me. She's actually angry that he does it. She confronts him angrily about it. And when he accuses her of the same thing, she goes on the defensive. And yeah, this could be her just being angry about what he tried to do. But it doesn't really add up in the context of what we know about their partnership.

You'd think that after all this time, she'd know why. That she'd be used to it. But no, she's angry about it. She takes the time to confront him about it. And the thing is, she knows what he's going to say, because it's going to be the same reason she gives him. I kinda feel like this isn't her just being angry about him trying to take her Miraculous. I think it upsets her when he does it. Because, despite claiming she'd be better on her own, she doesn't like that he wants to get rid of her. So, she goes on the defensive and asserts that she wants to do the same thing to him as a way of hiding her own vulnerability.

And we all know that the both of them are very good at denial (after 5 seasons of the Love Square, how could we not), and that's so true here too. Shadybug is in serious denial when she suggests that she'd be better off alone. We know she depends on him, and on some level, she knows it too. And yet, she says all that. It's not hard to read her reaction to his actions and his accusations as being defensive out of a sense of fear and denial.

Cause Emonette has had a very rough life. No one has supported her, no one has ever stood up for her or stood by her. She's afraid of being hurt and of being vulnerable. She's built up walls as high as a skyscraper and refuses to put them down out of a fear of being hurt again. She doesn't believe that anyone would stand by her and support her.

But Claw Noir has done that, even if their relationship is tenuous. He may not be nice to her, and he may not like her, but in some sense of the word, he has stuck by her, and he has supported her. And it hurts her that he would try to do this after all that.

Their partnership is important to her. When she's reading Marinette's diary and reads the part where Marinette is talking about her partner Chat Noir, she looks over at Claw Noir, indicating that that's how she feels about him. That she does associate the word "partner" with him. And then she rolls her eyes at him, but you know. Denial. Maybe I'm just being crazy, but that's really how it comes off to me after everything we know about them.

And one person rolling their eyes at the other is a common romantic trope sooooo

And we can't not talk about Emodrien! Because it's the same for him. Watching the special, it comes off to me that Gabriel isn't that great of a dad here either. Emodrien has been left to deal with his mom's death all alone because Gabriel is off playing hero and is pretty much neglecting his son. And Emodrien doesn't seem to go to school either, and apparently, he's still a famous person with fans of his own (he's wearing Gabriel fashion, which I don't think he would if he was so mad at his dad), so I think his relationship with Gabriel isn't that much different, except for the lack of manipulation and gaslighting (and arranged marriages and white rooms). So, I think that he also is like our Adrien in that he has pressure on him to be perfect (I think Claw Noir even says something along the lines of Adrien being perfect, implying that he does have to perform that role).

And honestly, Emodrien is just like our Adrien, a master at compartmentalizing. Adrien Agreste doesn't say a word in this special to anyone. He says his transformation phrase, and he exclaims about Shadybug being revealed to be Emonette, but he doesn't speak otherwise. And she did tell him to be quiet, but we've seen that he doesn't really listen to her, like when he didn't help her search Marinette's room and chose to take a catnap instead (sorry). He could have said something in the few minutes he was on screen, but he didn't. But he's so drastically different as Claw Noir. He's expressive and talkative and in your face about everything. Adrien Agreste having pressure on him to be perfect would explain why Claw Noir is so different. This is the part of himself that he's hidden away and can only express as Claw Noir (like our Adrien).

And the only person he can do this with is Shadybug. She's the only one around whom he can share this part of himself. And she doesn't leave. She's still around, and she may not like him, but she accepts it. He needs her too, not only for her plans and her own skills, but because he acknowledges him. She largely fights back whenever he does or says something, and often she is the one who starts an argument. And for someone whose life is characterized by a lack of attention from a parent and a recent loss, having someone who does acknowledge him must feel important. He can only be "himself" around her. And for this boy, whose only happiness in life till this point seems to come from staring at this one girl from the bakery, I think it does mean a lot, in some way, that Shadybug is around and ready to engage with him.

And I think his reactions to her and his rivalry/enmity towards her are also like her: stemming from a fear of vulnerability. We see that he's so unwilling to be perceived as weak that he's ready to tank a cataclysm to the chest that he inflicted on himself on purpose. He doesn't want to let anyone in either. And yet, Shadybug is someone that he relies on, and he may not like her, but he does need her, and she is important to him, in some way.

So, they are important to each other, and subconsciously, they both do value and need each other. What prevents them from accepting and sharing those feelings is their fear of vulnerability and their awful situation. They are pretty much stuck in a rivalry and a state of perpetual competition which entails that the one who gets the Butterfly Miraculous will be the one to survive. That's enough for anyone to try and hide their feelings of sentimentality for someone else. It's literally a matter of survival. Add this to their respective lives of suffering and loneliness, and it's easy to see why they can't show those feelings to each other. Their supposed hatred for each other is just a defense mechanism.

Is their relationship perfect or healthy? Not really. But their feelings are real. And it's so telling that when they do start to overcome their fears and start to take the steps towards forming connections with others, they instantly fall into a friendly, even loving dynamic. They literally leave our world holding hands. These feelings didn't come out of nowhere, they've always been there. Shadybug and Claw Noir were just too afraid of their own vulnerability and were stuck in an awful, forced rivalry to be able to express them. But once they take the first step towards accepting their feelings and start to overcome their issues, they instantly start flirting and their teasing goes from being cruel to being friendly.

They are still the same! Emonette still calls him fleabag, Emodrien still makes fun of her, but it's their approach that has changed. Instead of being veiled in cruelty stemming from their respective fears, they are embracing their true feelings. This whole special has been about them understanding themselves, their true feelings and what they truly need, and it led to them understanding their feelings for each other. They've always cared. Even in the middle of the special, when they hadn't had their resolutions yet, we have that touching scene of Claw Noir trying to comfort Shadybug.

Because their masks had dropped at that point. They were tired of hiding their vulnerability. Shadybug is crying openly and not making the slightest effort to hide it behind any excuse or mean comment. And if he truly hated her, Claw Noir could have just hit her with a cataclysm and taken her earrings. But he chose to try and comfort her instead. And it's interesting that they do not insult or argue with each other after that scene. They aren't fully open with each other yet, which is why she rejects his comfort, but it does speak volumes about their relationship, that the only thing between them is their fear and hurt.

In the scene where Emonette is yelling at Sabine that she's fine and to get off her back, there's a moment where she looks at Emodrien, and sees the look of sorrow and understanding on his face. And that leads her to admit the truth, that she's damaged. Before she saw him looking at her like that, she was being defensive and yelling for Sabine to get off her back, but after that, her tone changes. She opens herself up despite herself and cries before him. That scene was pivotal, I think, for them to completely understand each other, when they saw their own feelings reflected in the other's eyes without any masks covering them. It was a scene of mutual understanding. The feeling that the other person understood them, which led to them dropping their fronts and showing their true feelings.

They are the only ones who can truly understand each other. They are in this together, whether they like it or not. They know what it's like to be alone, and to feel hopeless. Both Shadybug and Claw Noir are dying from their misuse of the Miraculous (obligatory fuck The Supreme), and only they understand the fear, the hopelessness and the despair that comes with that. Only they know the feeling of being up against the world, of being alone and having no one. And they became that person for each other, the person who would stick by them no matter what, even if neither of them could see it yet.

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prentissluvr · 1 year

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feverish — joel miller

gn!reader, platonic!reader, fatherfigure!joel , sickfic , cw : mentions of fever & coughing, sickness in general, mostly unedited , wc : 1K , anon i hope you enjoy it !! <333

joel notices immediately when you begin lagging behind him and ellie. but you don’t say anything, so neither does he, just pausing occasionally to let you catch up.

in the end, it’s ellie who says something.

“hey, are you okay?” she asks you once you’re all settled by the fire. joel, whose attention seems to be solely on the meat he’s cooking, is peering at you subtly, listening intently for your reaction.

“i’m fine,” you wave off her concern, “just a little tired today, is all.” your answer’s not a complete lie, it’s true that you’re tired, but what you don’t tell them is the way you can feel the sickness starting to settle in your bones. really, it was yesterday you first started feeling it, but it hadn’t begun to slow you down until a few hours into hiking today.

“well then, we’d better get to sleep right after eating,” joel advises. “best get as much sleep as you can for tomorrow.”

you heed his advice, curling into your sleeping bag the moment you can in hopes that good enough rest will prevent you from truly falling ill. ellie talks for a few minutes the way she normally does before sleeping, but joel cuts her off earlier than normal tonight for your sake. with that reasoning, she actually listens to him and settles down to sleep herself.

—

your hopes of escaping sickness are unfairly stolen from you in the morning when you wake up with the sun, groggy and completely out of it. your nose is stuffy, throat sore, and limbs heavy when you rustle about in your covers. you just turn to your side and do your best to drift back into what turns out to be a quite restless sleep.

the next time you wake, it’s to ellie gently nudging your shoulder for you to get up as joel finishes cleaning up camp. you groan in protest, halfheartedly pushing her away.

“it’s almost time to go,” she says, “joel let you sleep in.”

you let out a huff of breath, wishing you could lay in bed all day before struggling to sit up. rubbing at your eyes, you take in the state of your tired, compromised body and decide it’s certainly best if you say nothing about it. no reason to make anyone worry or slow down your journey.

so you push past your discomfort, standing up and quickly packing up your bag. but your plans to cover up your sickness do not go as well as planned when you begin coughing and sniffling uncontrollably.

about the fourth time you lean against a tree to support yourself during a coughing bout, joel stops completely, handing you water and waiting until you’re done to speak.

“you’re gettin’ sick, kid,” he states, very aware that you’ve been quiet in order to prevent causing an inconvenience to him and ellie. you shake your head, so he continues. “you can let us know if you’re not feeling well, you know? that’s not something you can control. what d’ you say we make camp early and rest for the day?”

“no!” you exclaim, “no, that’s alright, i’m fine. i swear. i don’t even feel that sick, it just sounds like it,” you try to explain away the actual extent of your sickness.

he says your name, gentle and firm like the hand he places on your shoulder. “you look like you could fall over any second. i ain’t buying any of that, alright? you need to rest so that you don’t get more sick, you understand me?

you want to keep trying, to convince him and a watching ellie that you’re fine, but it seems you can never argue with that tone of voice he uses when he’s truly serious about something.

“fine,” you relent with a sigh, feeling half grateful, half guilty, and one hundred percent sick as you trek along until you find an appropriate campground.

joel orders you to lay down when you try and help set up, only asking you to move once a fire is going so that you can soak up it’s warmth. as you lay there, it seems as if all of your stubbornness is catching up to you, and you can’t resist it when your eyes drift closed despite the sun still being clear in the sky.

with a mind too groggy with sickness and sleep, you don’t process much even when you’re awake. ellie stays close by to your laying form, silently worried by the sickness that’s visible in your face and the coughs that wrack your body. she jumps up each time joel asks her to do anything, eager to help you rather than just sit by and do nothing. joel too is dedicated to caring for you, his soft palm feeling your forehead for signs of fever as you slip in and out of sleep. he does his best to create a broth from bones and freshly hunted meat throughout the hours that you sleep for you to eat when you wake.

when you squirm uncomfortably in your sleep with your brows furrowed, he does his best to calm your distress with gentle touches. past memories of caring for a sick child are clear in his head, both hurting his heart but helping him to help you the best he can.

you try to resist his help again once you wake, but the weakness in your limbs doesn’t let you get far, so your resolve crumbles far faster this time. he helps you drink and eat all while ellie does her best to cheer you up with corny jokes and over exaggerated retellings of things that have happened throughout your journey all together. it works well, her words resulting in your laughing so hard that you begin to cough and a non-threatening glare from joel in her direction.

but soon, you tire again, so joel insists you go back to sleep, just as twilight fades into total darkness. you don’t argue this time, nor at all the next day as he and ellie patiently nurse you back to health until you’re spry and well again.

#joel miller #joel miller x platonic!reader #platonic joel miller #father figure joel #joel miller tlou #tlou show #joel miller x gender neutral reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller comfort #joel miller fluff #joel miller imagine #joel miller angst #joel miller x gn!reader #joel miller hbo #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fluff #tlou joel #joel miller father figure #the last of us

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lovelyyandereaddictionpoint · 3 months

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Yandere V + H: Shaiapouf

This ant is born to be a henchman in every universe

Though one would not be wrong when questioning how often he feels the need to direct the villain he’s serving’s attention

Always willing to give up any part of himself for his precious villain to succeed

Ride or die they’re glory is everything to him

But only if that glory includes him

He’s a tad selfish but for all the right reasons

It’s for you of course

When you rise from the ashes of his former creator to take on the role of an innovator

You’re all he can ask for

No longer tied by his biological connection or maybe just an overcomplicated pheromone mishap

He devotes himself to the legacy you’ve restarted making his uncalled-for connections to his old villain

But it’s the differences he does notice that lead him to be…so involved:

“Shiapouf make a note. Clearly, the titanium-devastating robot taught them nothing about better infrastructure.”

“Yes, my liege!”

He admired your back which was beautifully annunciated by the elegant cape on your back. Pouf proudly squeezed at the bandaged tips of his fingers as he recalled personally sewing the insignia of your villain name onto its center.

Turning before you he opened the door of the invisible jet for you, bowing as you entered the back seat. Closing the door he sent one more hidden glare at the construction crew working in the rubble of the old sky-scraper. In his deepest of hearts, he almost wished they wouldn’t try, shaking his head in punishment. You wanted this, therefore this was right. Entering through the door, he harshly yelled at the door of the cockpit,” Go.”

That was all that was needed for the jet to silently left the city, cruising above national waters in seconds. Pouf had located himself directly across from you watching in admiration and amusement as you twisted and tilted your face as you scrolled through articles on your digital pad.

“Once again this proves to be ineffectual in making them evolve. This wasn’t a big enough sign for them to even consider using that material they discovered that could be made with the remains of that overgrowing landfill. “

Pouf resisted the urge to clutch his cheeks,” My liege, you’re so generous to these low-lifes.”

You let out a muted ‘thanks’ before closing your eyes in thought. Millions of images from various politicians and inventors calling for reform or change. None of them are worthy enough or even supported enough to be considered significant change. It started to make you wonder…

“Perhaps…this isn’t the right thing to do.”

Pouf’s smile was gone. A serious expression on his face as he asked, ”What do you mean your Grace?”

Sighing you looked out the window,” My whole goal is to help the humans of this world evolve but I worry all I’m doing is just killing the masses for no reason.”

If the cabin of the jet wasn’t cool, it was freezing because of Pouf’s glare.

“Who says this?”

“What do you mean I am—”

“Who said this.”

The question that didn’t need to be said brought a familiar pit in your stomach. Fidgeting with your fingerless gloves and then your raised collar that felt like it was making you hot. Pouf’s darkened tuscan-yellow eyes were filled with the retained fury of a protector. One that you found much more frightening than the hero you escaped from every time.

“A journalist from the Hunter’s Post. She just made some really good–”

“Name?”

“Pouf I don’t want to punish anyone–”

“Name, (Y/n).”

“Ponzu….her name was Ponzu.”

“Thank you (Y/n)--”

“Please Pouf I don’t want anything—”

Pouf smiled widely, “I think you should rest, my Liege!”

You opened your mouth to protest, actually getting up from the seat you were in to plead. Finding you’re body refused to listen as you finally registered the shimmering colors and grand wideness of Shaiapouf’s wings. You didn’t need to see the sparkling particles to know what was happening, vaguely recalling this same scene playing out just a few days ago.

“Sleep peacefully, my (Y/n). I’ll deal with the parasite that’s poisoned you.”

Pouf smiled at your slumped figure before snapping his fingers. His joyful expression is gone now that three winged servants appeared at his side. All three bowing and awaiting his orders.

“Find the journalist Ponzu. Bring her to me alive, I will deal with her punishment personally.”

Two of the servants darted off, quickly flying out of a hatch that allowed them to leave without letting too much of the wind inside. The remaining servant stood still awaiting orders.

“Idiot. Get our Great One a blanket, can’t you see they’re needing one.”

The servant bowed their head swiftly heading to the back of the jet. Giving Pouf the privacy he desired to stand from his own seat and kneel before yours. Looking up at your sleeping face, he couldn’t deny himself the urge to caress your sleeping face.

“Don’t worry. I will always fight for your glorious mission. Even if you forget.”

#yandere x reader #yandere x you #yanderexrea #lovelyyandereaddictionpoint #yandere #yanderes #yandere shaiapouf x reader #yandere shaiapouf #yandere chimera ant #yandere v + h dynamic #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere hunterxhunter #yandere hunter x hunter x reader #yandere hxh #male yandere x reader #yandere hxh x reader #yandere henchman #yandere x gn reader #yandere x gender neutral reader

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lucky-clover-gazette · 3 months

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kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 4

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

‘Does it bother you to think of him hurting your country?’ ‘You know it does. Are we playing now with the fate of nations? It won’t bring your brother back.’ There was a violent silence.

the girls are fightinggggg (love damen calling laurent on his misdirected bullshit)

‘You know, my uncle knew who you were,’ said Laurent. ‘He spent this whole time waiting for us to fuck. He wanted to tell me who you were himself, and watch it wreck me. Oh, had you guessed that? You just thought you’d fuck me anyway? Couldn’t help yourself?’

i’m sure it’s easier for laurent to entertain the notion that nothing damen did was real at all, and doing so also hurts damen, so two birds one stone

‘You said, “Kiss me”,’ said Laurent, each word enunciated clearly. ‘You said, “Laurent, I need to be inside you, you feel so good, Laurent,”’ He switched to Akielon, as Damen had, at the climax, ‘‘it’s never felt like this, I can’t hold on, I’m going to—’’

i did my complex analysis of laurent’s mean girl era last chapter. this is a good example of him just being a petty bitch for the reasons outlined in that analysis

‘Charcy,’ said Laurent, ‘was a distraction. I have it from Guion. My uncle sailed for Ios three days ago, and by now he has made landfall.’

and it worked, and laurent was too emotionally compromised to anticipate or prevent it. imagine laurent learning that, directly after being tortured. and now he’s dealing with this. Ls on Ls on Ls.

(or did he know? stuff he says later makes me think he might have, but then again, he also lies to damen a LOT in this scene)

‘I see. And my men are to die fighting him for you, the way that they did at Charcy?’

i mean the previous chapter already established that they both know laurent meant to be there, but if they’re doing cheap shots, i guess this works fine in a pinch

Laurent’s smile was not pleasant. ‘On that table is a list of supplies and troops. I will give it to you, in support of your campaign to the south.’ ‘In exchange for,’ said Damen, steadily. ‘Delpha,’ said Laurent in the same tone. He felt the shock that made him remember that this was Laurent, and not any other young man of twenty.

He had not come here prepared to negotiate. Laurent had. Laurent was here as the Prince of Vere facing the King of Akielos. Laurent had known who he was all along. The list, written in Laurent’s own hand, had been prepared before this meeting.

all true, but don’t underestimate the fact that laurent did NOT anticipate falling in love or actually trusting you as an ally

He said, ‘Did you plan this from the beginning?’

so "from the beginning" is complicated here. if i'm going to try to sort things out to the best of my ability, i think a good place to start is making a list of things laurent could NOT have expected at the beginning of the series, when he was presented with damen:

that damen would not immediately take any opportunity provided to him to escape captivity

that damen is a respectable and admirable person and invaluable strategic and military asset

that damen and laurent would fall in love (and even still now, i don't think laurent is letting himself believe damen really cares, and certainly isn't letting damen do the caring)

that the regent would try to assassinate his own nephew. laurent says in the text, at some point, that this was a genuine surprise, and that he didn't think his uncle would ever go that far

but, okay, even if laurent didn't expect the assassination attempt, or any of the other minor things in vere like the patras debacle, did he expect at some point to find himself and his men forced to do a military campaign? he must have, which is why he started the correspondence with delpha. i suppose he could have planned to do that from vere, too, and just adjusted things when he was forced to travel. and nothing that laurent failed to expect directly got in the way of the foundation of his plan, if his objective was to obtain delpha and make enough allies that together they can take down the regent.

so to answer damen's question, yes! laurent planned this specific long-term objective (taking delpha, getting kastor and the regent in ios, methodically turning a faction of powerful akielions against kastor and gaining the support of vask and patras) from the beginning. because he recognized damen the moment he saw him, laurent could immediately put together that kastor is allied with the regent, who would totally come up with something like this to torture laurent. and so laurent put his mental energy into planning a way to gain enough political and military power to defeat both kastor and the regent, and further manipulate them into being so confident that they would have no time to retaliate when the people laurent enlisted attacked them. i don't think laurent gave a shit if kastor lived or died, or stayed on the throne, as long as the regent was defeated, but it made sense for kastor to be a priority as well since the alliance between kastor and the regent makes the regent more powerful.

and, to be generous to laurent, none of this really has anything to do with damen. like none of it is designed to punish him, it doesn't even really involve him. it's another instance of laurent just living in a different genre from the start. damen's pov has been so fixed on his relationship and interactions with laurent, but there's been so much more happening that we just haven't seen. and laurent, i think we can assume, is and has always been deeply focused on things other than their relationship.

but even now, this plan doesn't do damen direct harm. the most harm it does is make things awkward with nikandros, and make damen feel bad about the regent being in his own country (which was probably going to happen anyway). but still, damen is super pissed. he doesn't realize or admit it, but i almost think the fact that laurent always had this plan makes him a little insecure. like, to realize that he hasn't been as important or useful to laurent as he previously assumed. on top of all the other stuff pissing him off about the situation, he's also jealous of an abstract plan, because it's had laurent's attention from the start, and right now laurent is choosing that plan over their friendship/relationship. a kingdom, or this.

laurent doesn't want to deal with "this," and honestly has some pretty pressing matters beyond "this" to handle, so he's chosen "a kingdom." even if damen's heart is still stuck with "this," he'll have to follow laurent's lead and focus on "a kingdom" too. i'm sure they'll both do a perfectly professional and functional job of this, and it won't make things inconvenient or uncomfortable for any of their allies at all.

‘The hard part was getting Guion to let me into his fort.’ Laurent said it steadily, the private edge to his voice a little more private than usual.

do they ever talk about it? like does laurent ever tell damen what happened in the cell?

also i like how damen doesn’t take this as like flippant and arrogant, as he would have in book 1. he immediately clocks that laurent is hiding something and just deflecting.

Damen said, ‘In the palace you had me beaten, drugged, whipped. And you ask me to give up Delpha? Why don’t you tell me instead why I shouldn’t simply hand you over to your uncle, in exchange for his aid against Kastor?’

like you ever would.

‘Because I knew who you were,’ said Laurent, ‘and when you killed Touars and humiliated my uncle’s faction, I sent the news of it echoing to every corner of my country. So that if you ever crawled back onto your throne there would be no possibility of an alliance between you and my uncle.

good failsafe, laurent didn’t know he wouldn’t need it. although i’m sure it’s both vindicating and hurting laurent to hear damen threaten this, making the failsafe necessary, even if we know that damen’s heart isn’t in it.

'Do you want to play this game against me? I will take you apart.’

this is all very complicated and unnecessary and frustrating to damen, but it's laurent's area of expertise. this kind of emotionally evasive manipulative political negotiation makes him feel empowered. the approach laurent takes in this scene is almost certainly a way for him to cope with the things in his life that feel uncontrollable and uncomfortable, by doing something familiar that he knows he can control.

‘Take me apart?’ Damen said deliberately. ‘If I opposed you, the remaining scrap of land you hold would have a different enemy on each side, and your efforts would be split in three directions.’ ‘Believe me,’ said Laurent, ‘when I say that you would have my undivided attention.’

this is soooo amy dunne of him

Damen let his eyes pass over Laurent slowly, where he stood. ‘You’re alone. You don’t have allies. You don’t have friends. You’ve proven true everything your uncle ever said about you. You made deals with Akielos. You even bedded an Akielon—and by now, everyone knows it. You’re clinging to independence with a single fort and the tatters of a reputation.’ He gave every word its weight. ‘So let me tell you the terms of this alliance. You will give me everything on this list, and in return I will aid you against your uncle. Delpha remains with Akielos. Let’s not pretend you have anything here worth a bargain.’

damen honey i’m so sorry but you cannot win this one. especially when you yourself would probably lay down your life on instinct for laurent if someone randomly came into this tent and tried to kill him

‘Please,’ said Laurent, ‘insult me further. Tell me more about my tattered reputation. Tell me all the ways that bending over for you has damaged my position. As if being fucked into the mattress by the King of Akielos could be anything other than demeaning. I am dying to hear it.’

and somehow laurent still manages to turn even his own shitty decisions back on damen, implying that even if laurent owned up to being fucked by damen, it couldn’t be anything other than demeaning, and damen is a fool for considering it to be genuine lovemaking

‘Did you think,’ said Laurent, ‘that I would come here without the means to enforce my terms? I hold the only proof of Kastor’s treachery that extends beyond your word.’ ‘My word is enough to the men that matter.’ ‘Is it? Then by all means, reject my offer. I will execute Guion for treason and hold the letter over the nearest candle.’

cunt (affectionate)

‘Are we going to play another kind of pretend?’ Damen said. ‘That it never happened?’

and in this game of pretend, damen doesn’t get to hand-feed a pretty blonde named laurent >:(

‘If you are concerned it will go unmentioned between us, never fear. Every man in my camp knows that you served me in bed.’

“you served me” GOD laurent you are such a bitch

And that is how it is to be between us?’ said Damen. ‘Mercenary? Cold?’

if laurent was normal, there are plenty of reassuring things he could tell damen to explain that they can do this together, and ios will be okay, and they're in a good position to win as a team. but since he's being a salty little bitch, he's not going to do any of that, and he's going to make damen feel extra bad by using their romantic history against him. and despite all of these slights against him, damen knows that he has no choice but to give laurent delpha and ally himself with laurent's cause. because laurent really has planned this from the beginning. sure, current damen probably still would have done all that if laurent had just asked, but book 1 laurent had no idea of anticipating their allyship, and book 3 laurent is intentionally trying to push him away.

‘How did you think it would be?’ said Laurent. ‘You’d take me to your bed for the public consummation?’ It hurt.

this is a brutal scene for damen, even if i understand laurent’s headspace. i’m sorry buddy, breakups are no fun.

actually, do you think damen has ever experienced a breakup? he’s a prince who grew up with a harem of sex slaves. jokaste just kind of did whatever she wanted and damen was chill with it. so probably not.

It was too neat. He hadn’t thought as far as Kastor’s defeat, or who would become kyros in Ios, the traditional seat of the King’s closest adviser. Nikandros was the ideal candidate.

not laurent doing damen’s job for him…

‘I see you’ve thought of everything,’ said Damen, bitterly. ‘It didn’t have to be—you could have come to me, and asked for my help, I would have—’ ‘Killed the rest of my family?’

i mean, laurent definitely wants the regent dead. i think this is just a dig about auguste, and furthermore about damen not telling laurent the truth at any point.

also, damen straight-up admitting that he would have helped damen is something laurent would have needed a gun to his head to say out loud, and there aren’t even guns in this world. i said this in a note last chapter, but laurent assumes that damen is just as terrified of attachment and vulnerability as he (laurent) is, but we see that damen is willing to swear attachment and make himself vulnerable in order to support laurent and build trust. laurent is just denying that aspect of damen, because he’s traumatized and stubborn and doesn’t want to be let down.

Thickly, Damen remembered running his sword through the man he’d believed was the Regent; as if killing the Regent would be his expiation. It wouldn’t.

that explains why damen acted how he did in battle. but he also knows, in the reality of this moment, that it wouldn’t have made up for auguste even if he had killed the regent. killing a member of laurent’s family isn’t going to make up for the fact that he killed a member of his family.

He thought of all Laurent had done here, every piece of impersonal leverage, to control this meeting, to ensure it played out on his terms. ‘Congratulations,’ said Damen. ‘You’ve forced my hand. You have what you want. Delpha, in exchange for your aid in the south. Nothing given freely, nothing done out of feeling, everything coerced, with bloodless planning.’

this is almost laurentian, in terms of dialogue. very poetic and theatrical. damen is not handling this breakup well, and it’s almost like he’s defensively taking on some of laurent’s overdramatic bitchiness. it’s a reaction from him we haven’t really seen since book 1.

this dialogue also feels slightly anachronistic, in a good way. with some minor editing it could be a believable text that modern au damen would send after laurent breaks up with him in a formal email even though they still have to work on an assignment together. i think it's the "nothing given freely, nothing done out of feeling, everything coerced, with bloodless planning" that really gives off the vibe of an emotionally compromised teenager trying to cope with the fact that they still have to see their ex in english class.

‘Good,’ said Laurent. He took a step back. Then, as if a pillar of control had finally collapsed, Laurent surrendered his full weight to the table behind him, his face drained of all colour. He was trembling, his hairline pricked with the sweat of injury. He said: ‘Now get out.’

laurent: i won. get out. also laurent:

Laurent had known who he was, and had still made love to him. He wondered what mix of yearning and self-delusion had allowed Laurent to do that.

may i interest you in the “sam reads capri” tag on my tumblr blog, damen?

also i just think “he wondered what mix of yearning and self-delusion has allowed laurent to do that” is a BANGER line. maybe one of my favorites in the series. astute, bewildered, devastating (sad), and devastating (scathing) all at once.

If he’d imagined it, it was as a single, cataclysmic event, an unmasking that, whatever followed, would be over. Violence would have been both punishment and release. He had never imagined that it would instead go on and on; that the truth had been known; that it had been painfully absorbed; that it would be this crushing pressure that wouldn’t leave his chest.

damen always thought that he would be the one to rip off the bandaid for them both, so the entire time he has been saving them the pain by waiting. but now he knows that laurent never had a bandaid, and he (damen) has been left to slowly and painfully pry off his own. the pain isn’t over, it’s just beginning. and laurent has felt it this entire time, in a way damen put off for himself.

Laurent had tamped down the smothered emotion in his eyes, and would endure an alliance with his brother’s killer, though he felt nothing but aversion. If he could do it, Damen could do it. He could make impersonal negotiations, speak in the formal language of kings.

(also wow do i want to tell damen that laurent isn’t averse to him, he’s just lashing out, and badly needs someone to show him love and support at this time. but as always, oh fuck, he can’t hear me. and to be fair, it isn’t really in-character for damen to just passively accept poor treatment, or to force laurent to accept his support when he’s been told to go away.)

The ache of loss didn’t make sense, because Laurent had never been his. He had known that. The delicate thing that had grown between them had never had a right to exist.

and yet it did exist, and it does exist, and it will exist, and that’s why we’re reading about it.

damen and laurent both feel like they have a right to their kingdom’s thrones as princes, but they don’t have the right to simply be people in love. again, a kingdom or this. the themes are theming.

If it hurt, it was fitting; it was simply kingship.

what did i just say??? THE THEMES ARE THEMING!!!

If he could give Laurent up, he could do this.

stoppp can someone get him a pint of ice cream and an olivia rodrigo album (should i make lamen divorce era playlists. like one for each of them.)

Damen remembered hoping for a homecoming where it could be between them as it was in the old days. As if friendship of that kind could survive statesmanship.

damen’s being soooo broody about the ways kingship nerfs his social and romantic life, omg. it’s a hint of his immaturity and relative youth to other people in power, and his difference in jadedness and trauma compared to laurent. he is still lowkey a frat guy who wants to party, even though he cares about his schoolwork and future prospects

‘He’s playing us against each other,’ said Nikandros. ‘This is calculated. He is trying to weaken you.’ Damen said, ‘I know. It’s like him.’

"yes, honey..."

nikandros private twitter venting moment #4. especially considering damen’s response

‘He left us at Charcy.’ ‘There was a reason for that.’ ‘But I am not to know it.’

damen doesn’t really know the reason, but he can assure nik, there was a reason. nikandros private twitter venting moment #5.

It was not worth Delpha. He could see that Nikandros knew it, as Damen had known it. ‘I would make this easier,’ said Damen, ‘if I could.’ Silence, while Nikandros kept his words in check.

nikandros private twitter moment #6. this time he just posts a blurry picture of laurent’s offer and captions it with “🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬”

‘The men will talk,’ said Nikandros. He was pushing the words out with distaste, he did not want to say, ‘About—’ Damen said, ‘No.’ And then, as though Nikandros couldn’t help the words that came out next, ‘If you would at least take off the cuff—’ ‘No. It stays.’ He refused to lower his eyes.

kind of curious why, in this moment, damen is so determined about this. he’s had reasons in the past, but it would be cool to get some current insight, if it’s not just an instinctual thing

Nikandros turned away and put his palms flat on the table, resting his weight there. Damen could see the resistance in Nikandros’s shoulders, bunched across his back, his palms still flat on the table.

nikandros private twitter moment #7. he just posts this meme with no further elaboration:

Into the painful silence, Damen said, ‘And you? Will I lose you?’ It was all he allowed himself. It came out in a steady enough voice, and he made himself wait, and say nothing more.

AWWW poor baby :( no like fr damen :(((( it’s going to be okay

As though the words were coming up from the depths of him, against his will, Nikandros said, ‘I want Ios.’ Damen let out a breath. Laurent, he realised suddenly, wasn’t playing them against one another. He was playing to Nikandros. There was a dangerous expertise in all of this; in knowing how far Nikandros’s loyalty might be stretched, and what would keep it from snapping. Laurent’s presence in the room was almost tangible.

i think this was more an unintended outcome of the plan, but i’m sure mean girl era laurent would be pleased to know that his actions inadvertently incentivized damen’s best friend to declare himself loyal to his ex (laurent) instead

‘Listen to me, Damianos. If you have ever valued my counsel, listen. He is not on our side. He is Veretian, and he’ll be bringing an army into our country.’ ‘To fight his uncle. Not to fight us.’ ‘If someone kills your family you don’t rest until they are dead.’

i know this is nikandros trying to convince damen that laurent isn’t just going to let go of what damen did to auguste, and can’t be trusted as an ally. but it also makes nikandros accidentally sound like a book 1 laurent apologist, by making the statement with “you” as if it’s a universal maxim. like, if nik was in laurent’s shoes, he would have wanted damen tortured and dead too. nik is an interesting guy, because he's a little more aggressive with his principles unprovoked than damen, but he’s also similarly limited in perspective due to his status and lack of humbling experiences. i’ll try to do more complex analysis in addition to memeing on him, if/when opportunities arise

Nikandros was shaking his head. ‘Or do you really think he’s forgiven you for killing his brother?’ ‘No. He hates me for it.’ He said it steadily, without flinching. ‘But he hates his uncle more. He needs us. And we need him.’

damen going full ant with a bindle :(((

‘You need him enough that you would strip me of my home, because he asked you to?’ ‘Yes,’ said Damen.

nik private twitter vent #8. this time he literally just tweets a single “.”

The men came to attention as he passed, and said only, ‘Exalted,’ if he spoke. It was not like sitting around a campfire swilling wine, exchanging low tales and ribald speculations.

he should be at the club

Jord and the other Veretians from Ravenel had been sent back to Laurent to rejoin his army in the extravagant tents at Fortaine.

jord and the others standing awkwardly nearby laurent’s tent, trying to ignore the muffled adele ballad playing within

Alone, he didn’t have to be King.

i can’t believe that damen, groomed from birth for eventual kingship, now resents that kingship almost exclusively because it means he can’t be boyfriends with laurent. blonde man brainrot

He wasn’t alone. She was naked, at the base of the stark pallet, her full breasts hanging downwards, her forehead to the floor. She didn’t have palace training, and so could not quite disguise the fact that she was nervous. Her fair hair was caught back from her face in a fragile clasp, a northern custom. She was perhaps nineteen or twenty, her body trained and ready for him. She had prepared a bath in an unadorned wooden tub, so that if he pleased he might make use of it; or of her.

the way this is written, especially in the context of the series so far, makes this hard to read as anything other than revolting. i think this is due to a few craft elements:

the clinical description, lacking sensuality entirely

damen relating the things he’s observing to the aspects of the institution that he understands (she wasn’t trained in the palace = slaves are trained to do this. she was placed here for him to use = she didn’t show up here because she wanted to be here, or even knew him at all, or wanted pleasure of her own). unlike his past self, who passively understood the institution but chose not to think too hard about what it implied, the mental connections damen has made through being a slave himself prevent him from regarding this slave with the same thoughtlessness

damen's observations portray the anxiety and vulnerability of the slave, rather than willingness or submission. in book 1 we have a lot of moments where damen thinks of slaves as lovely, sweet, aimless non-people, almost like they're lobotomized. he regards them in a way that's both condescending and unconcerned for their free will, because they don't want or need free will, because they're slaves. his issue with the mistreatment of the akielion slaves in vere wasn't with their enslavement itself; it was with the cruelty of their masters, non-slaves who have free will and therefore should use it honorably. at the time, he truly believed that, as long as a master is kind, a slave has no reason to feel anxious or vulnerable or afraid, because there is honor in a slave's submission. if book 1 damen noticed that a slave was nervous, he would have found it adorable and charming, and would have taken it as an invitation to prove himself a caring master. but that doesn't even cross his mind here, while noticing this slave's nervousness in book 3.

another interesting craft detail: a sort of parallelism in the last part. damen notices that the bath, an object, has been prepared for him—just as the slave, a person, has been prepared for him. he groups them together, in that their same designated function is to be used: "he could make use of it; or of her." and that's where he stops the description altogether, because i don't think he feels comfortable with what that similarity between person and object implies.

it's easy to simply tell a reader that a character has evolved. if this story was written by a different author, there might have just been a moment where damen said out loud, "actually i've realized that slavery is bad," while the topic was otherwise avoided beyond its relevance to the story.

it's much harder to show, consistently throughout the story, exactly how that evolution has occurred, and the difference in damen's perspective compared to how he'd thought about slavery at the start. well done, pacat.

He had known that there were slaves with Nikandros’s army, following behind with the carts and the supplies. He had known that when he returned to Akielos there would be slaves.

… but seeing it in person is still viscerally uncomfortable

‘Get up,’ he heard himself say, awkwardly, a wrong order for a slave. There was a time when he would have expected this, and known how to behave around it. He would have appreciated the charm of her rustic northern skills, and bedded her, if not tonight then certainly in the morning. Nikandros knew him, and she was his type. She was Nikandros’s best, that was evident; a slave from his personal retinue, perhaps even his favourite, because Damen was his guest and his King. She got up. He didn’t speak. She had a collar around her neck, and metal cuffs around her small wrists that were like the one that he— ‘Exalted,’ she said, quietly. ‘What is wrong?’ He let out a strange, unsteady breath. He realised that his breathing had been unsteady for some time, that his flesh was unsteady. That the silence had been stretching out between them too long. ‘No slaves,’ said Damen. ‘Tell the Keeper. Send no one else. For the length of the campaign I will be dressed by an adjutant, or a squire.’

see my previous comment. this is really well-done, especially the panic attack-esque reaction and ptsd trigger. i made a comment a WHILE ago about the way both damen and laurent have ptsd in this series, but it manifests differently due to their proximity to their own traumas. laurent’s trauma was prolonged but a few years in the past; he’s had a lot of time to learn how to cope with it since. but damen’s trauma began when the story began, and it’s been intense and unrelenting basically the whole time: his father’s death, kastor and jokaste’s betrayal, his enslavement, his time in arles, his loss of identity by laurent’s side, and his forced return to his royal identity and obligations. that’s a lot of shit to unpack, and most of it is still happening. it's raw, and damen has had no time to process. nor has he received comfort, or even acknowledgement of what's happened to him as the trauma it is.

"he realised that his breathing had been unsteady for some time." this is a person experiencing a ptsd trigger for what might be the very first time, realizing as it happens just how quickly and thoroughly trauma can disorient his mental, physical, and emotional awareness and self-control. there is the complex intellectual development i discussed in the previous comment re: damen's feelings about slavery, but it's also this visceral gut reaction that tells damen and the reader that things will never be the same.

‘Wait.’ He couldn’t send her naked through the camp. ‘Here,’ he unpinned his cloak, and whirled it around her shoulders. He felt the wrongness of it, pushing against every protocol. ‘The guard will escort you back.’

he felt the wrongness of doing the right thing, but he still did it anyway. i think that is a big moment for damen, especially relating to akielion slavery.

i know i talk a lot about laurent in these notes, because i love laurent very much. but i also love damen, and i’m glad that he is our narrator. his pov is a big reason why these books work, in their chosen genre, at all. and i do think that this genre was a choice—laurent may be living a gritty psychological thriller, but a big theme of the series as a whole is that laurent was sweet in the past, and has the right to a life where he can be sweet again. but laurent, as we meet him at the start of these books, is heartless by choice. damen is many things, but he is never heartless. and whatever genre these books are, i think they're deeply defined by the fact that they're written with heart. they are not cynical, and they are not jaded. that's why damen, and not laurent, is our narrator. laurent's cynicism and jadedness are a foil to damen's idealism and trusting/forgiving nature. while damen does have some things to learn from laurent about strategy and cultural misconceptions, the ethos of the series matches damen's emotional and philosophical outlook far more than laurent's. ultimately, damen's heart helps laurent reclaim his sweetness, and become a better ruler and happier person. damen's heart is also what leads damen himself to reform akielion slavery, unite his kingdom with vere, and step out from his father's shadow. this is, at the end of the day, damen's story. and i don't think it would be the same story, with the same meaning or heart, if it was told by anyone else.

which, regarding meaning—in addition to the individual chapters, i do want to start thinking more about some of the more overarching things going on with capri. so i might as well start now. and if i had to start formulating an overall series thesis at this point in the re-read, i think it would have something to do with the concepts of submission and captivity.

captivity and submission both imply, in our common perception, a coerced and degrading loss of free will. and we certainly see that, in the way damen and laurent have both been held captive and degraded throughout their stories. we also see how, despite being victims themselves, they both have used captivity and submission to coerce and degrade others (laurent coerces and degrades damen to avenge his brother) and deny them free will (damen is complicit in the institution of akielion slavery, which denies slaves free will). for a lot of the series, damen and laurent are in constant disagreement about which of them is morally worse—damen thinks laurent is worse because of the coercion and degradation, laurent thinks damen is worse, and therefore deserves the coercion and degradation, because damen is complicit in akielion slavery and killed his brother. but we as the reader start to realize, as the series goes on, that they're both right about some things, both wrong about other things, both hypocrites on occasion, both doing harm, both trying to help, both captors, and both captives.

from this, it would make sense to assume that captivity and submission are the problem here, and the story's thesis is that those concepts are always dishonorable. however, i don't think that's the point at all. i think capri is about the ways captivity and submission can be honorable, if actively chosen with the moral responsibility, complex thought, and emotional depth of a person with free will. after all, what are loyalty and integrity, if not freely-chosen emotional and intellectual captivity? what are vulnerability and attachment, if not physical and emotional submission freely given?

damen and laurent are both complicated people who do dishonorable things. however, in their own respective arcs and in their shared romantic plotline, they both come to understand the multifaceted nature of captivity and submission, and reclaim those concepts as sources of empowerment, healing, and positive change. it's the difference between damen being forced to submit to laurent as a slave in arles in book 1, and damen choosing to stay by laurent's side in book 2 as a man. it's the difference between laurent submitting to his uncle, being manipulated into vulnerability so he can degraded and abused, and submitting to damen, making himself vulnerable despite his trauma so he can be truly loved and cared for.

this isn't a fully formed thesis yet, but it's good to at least get it cooking. and i'm not trying to guess the author's intention as much as summarize my own succinct interpretation. there isn't, like, One Right Answer here, and i'm not setting out to read the author's mind.

but still, i dunno, man… i think i'm onto something. after all, we have these major arcs about damen realizing slavery is wrong and laurent struggling with submission, and yet both of them proudly choose to keep the cuffs. and in a more metatextual sense, the evolution of this story's genre and purpose (slavekink erotica -> whatever the fuck these books are) is not irrelevant. so i'll keep an eye on it, and hopefully come up with something solid by the end of the re-read. i unironically love the challenge of writing a succinct thesis, which is not the nerdiest thing i've ever said, but it's definitely in the top 5.

#capri #sam reads capri #captive prince #kings rising #lamen #laurent of vere #damen of akielos #this one is very damen-centric yay <3333

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gofancyninjaworld · 6 months

Text

Blast is a mediocre hero

Talk about a controversial opinion! Well, I intend to defend it! With thanks to Eldrich_Void, who heard my rantings out.

This is not an opinion I rushed to. However, it has bothered me a lot that Blast seems to have a real track record for fucking things up. Almost all his endeavours seem to end up cursed in some way.

His evil partner, the ninja village horror he set up, and the way he seems intent on protecting the guy. His estranged son. The two heroes he saved both having serious complexes as a result. The monster he couldn't subdue.

Now that we get to see how he saw the situation on the ground, I think that Flashy Flash's accusing him of being unconscionably hesitant is right.

Under the circumstances, if I were Flash, I'd not trust that pressing that button would summon Blast in a manner timely enough to matter to me.

So, shall we see below the cut?

Before...

So, let's wind back all the way to chapter 165, back when Cosmic Garou landed. Remember then? He had time to pose for the benefit of the heroes gathered...

…then to look at himself, look at the heavens, and thank God for this gift of power.

Then Bang crawled up to Garou to try calling him back to his senses.

It took a while for the situation to ripen.

It's only in the next chapter, with Bang continuing to plead futilely with Garou, that Blast showed up.

Looks like he showed up as soon as he could.

So far, so good. It seemed that Blast came as soon as he could, given whatever else he was busy with. In the current timeline, Saitama came back from the future and punched Garou right when the latter looked up to thank God, so we thought, reasonably, that Blast never had a chance to appear. Case closed.

And looks like he didn't have an opportunity to show up.

But now we see more...

Several chapters have come and gone, and now we have a fuller picture of the event. And now we know that Blast was aware and on scene when Garou unleashed his gamma-ray burst:

Oh, so you were here.

We know too that Blast was on scene when Saitama appeared to punch out Cosmic Garou, before Bang even had a chance to crawl to Garou.

And there!

So Blast had had an opportunity to intervene earlier but did not take any action until after everyone was dropping dead and Bang was using the last of his energy to plead with Garou to come to his senses.

Okay, there's a place for observing the scene before you wade in so as not to make matters worse. As Drive Knight points out, rushing into things without proper analysis is a foolish thing. However, there's one thing I can't overlook. Even if Blast did not want to carelessly jump into a fight, the fact that he was able to reroute Garou's cosmic rays away from the heroes on the ground -- but had not done so originally... that is borderline unforgiveable.

Damn, if you could always do that, you should have done it earlier!

Let me be extremely clear. I don't hold Blast wholly responsible for restoring Empty Void. Yes, his rerouting the now free-floating 'God' powers as well as the cosmic rays to another dimension accidentally fed Void. That was careless, but not incomprehensible: thinking that one's evil ex-partner whom you left more dead than alive 15 years ago might be camping his nasty half-starved body on the other side of the dimensional hole you opened up in order to receive God's powers is not at the top of anyone's mind. What I am holding him responsible for is failing in the first duty of a hero: HELP PEOPLE!!

Now, let's go back to the original timeline. Even before he stepped up to support Bang, he could have rerouted those cosmic rays and saved most of the heroes. But he did not. I don't think he thought of it. Not a good hero instinct. But it gets worse.

Once it was clear that Garou had no intention of leaving the planet or ceasing to kill with his very presence, Genos stepped up, risking his life to buy Blast an opening.

Being a hero to the core. When people are in need, he is there.

However, when he was in danger and it was clear that Garou was fixing to kill him, did Blast step up? No. He just stood there, opened his mouth and bleated 'No.' [1]

And it gets worse still. It's not like Garou ripped Genos's head off to kill him instantly. Garou punched Genos through his center of mass. That was really bad: his upper torso is heavily protected for a reason, but that is not what killed him. We find out afterwards that Genos remembers seeing Garou pull his core out. Even that did not kill him: we've seen from back with the Giant Meteor that while losing his core's functionality will stop him being able to move his body, Genos's life support systems run independently of it. No, what killed him was Garou smashing him down so hard that his head and armor shattered and his blood splattered and ran into the ground, some of it being washed into long runnels by the fallout rain. So Blast stood there and watched while Garou not only struck Genos critically, but mutilated and maimed him to death. It was as if Garou was taunting him to try something heroic. And when Saitama finally arrived on the scene, Blast was just standing there. Uselessly.

Blast does not have the instincts of a hero.

Saitama rightly criticised himself for losing sight of what a hero's true duty was. I remember back when Sonic asked him who he was, he defined himself as the person who helps people when they are in trouble. [2] And he knows he fell short.

Blast appears to have totally lost sight of this fact. That's why his work is cursed.

A Hero Is More Than Mere Works

Without any doubt, Blast is strong. He is righteous but he's not looking at situations the way a hero should. He looks at things more as a warrior -- and it's not really helpful. He's forgotten the need to actually *be* a hero.

If I think about it a bit more, Blast was concerned for the health of the heroes on the field. Yet he did not protect them, even though he could have. He did not move them out of the way, even though he could have. He did not call on the rest of his compatriots to help him accomplish these goals, even though he could have and they would have helped.

I don't think that Blast is in danger of being deposed as the number 1 hero any time soon but man, it's as Flashy Flash says, his conduct is disappointing.

It's an insult to the heroes we've seen. I can't begin to imagine how bitterly Tatsumaki would be if she could have seen him. As the narrator said, she puts him on too high a pedestal. When I think of how hard she fought while never forgetting the helpless child, the civilians at risk, the rest of the strike team, and taking care of them even as it reduced her fighting efficiency, it's everything Blast ought to be. We saw so many heroes risk their lives to help others, even when they weren't of any strategic value.

Tatsumaki's determination to throw nobody under the bus, no matter how expedient, is the soul of heroism.

A hero is not merely their works. A hero is also what they symbolise. Amai Mask gets it: that's why he goes on and on about a hero being a beautiful symbol of peace. Saitama gets it: that's a big part of why he refused to out King because he symbolised being a hero so well. Mumen Rider lives it: even though he's not strong (by hero standards), he's greatly respected and people are inspired by him to do better in their lives.

What a hero is: someone who saves from danger, someone who reassures, someone who inspires.

Blast doesn't get it. When he had an opportunity to mitigate Garou's cosmic radiation and save lives, it did not occur to him. When he could have swallowed his pride and called back up to help him subdue Garou and save hero lives, it did not even cross his mind: he only saw a fight.

Since when was justice a matter of who can hit who harder?

And when he didn't prevail, he just stood there. When it was time for him to step up as a hero and actually take on some risk to try saving a life, he stood there, as hapless as any civilian. Even when it was hopeless, we didn't see the likes of Tank Top Master giving up. We didn't see Genos giving up on Tatsumaki, even when they were swarmed by Black Sperm. You don't give up on people.

No wonder his works are cursed.

How might the curse be lifted?

Some thoughts.

Never mind Tatsumaki: it's a rare hero who wouldn't be appalled. They all look up to Blast as the ultimate hero.

Fortunately, the only person who knows is Genos: it takes knowing how else things would have played out if Saitama hadn't arrived in the nick of time. Genos has no interest in trying to run down Blast: what little credibility he's got, he's used to tell Sicchi to ensure that Saitama got called up if Blast came up with anything.

Unfortunately, Sicchi hasn't passed on that message to Blast and Saitama's been allowed to go dawdling away. Even more unfortunately, what Sicchi has told Blast about Genos is that he's a terror who impedes access to Saitama. This may have terrible consequences down the line.

Talk about leaving out the important part. That 'is that so?' gives me chills.

You know how some readers are disappointed that the MA arc did not end with Saitama lecturing Garou about the importance of not compromising one's goals? It seems to me that Blast needs that lecture a lot more badly than Garou ever needed it in any version. He's forgotten that the point of heroism is the people you help *first* before it is about glorious fights. Important as it is to fight, losing sight of the human need in front of you is a hiding to nothing.

Or, if you want to put it differently: Saitama is likely to have a reason to confront Blast in the future.

Someone needs to hear this message and it's not the truculent teenage tearaways.

I am going to be there for it with a giant tub of ice cream!

Asides

[1] What was it that Awakened Garou said back in the WC: 'When facing an imminent threat against a monster, all you do is open your mouth and start babbling. It's an easy kind of job.'? (ch 85). It has applied very brutally to Blast here.

[2] In case you need a reminder:

That's the right thing to be. Saitama's been struggling since he forgot the brief a bit.

#OPM #meta #long #Blast #heroism #Blast may be the number one hero but he's got a lot of work to do to be a top class hero #I hope Saitama sets him straight #preferably before he makes needless trouble for Genos -- or anyone else #His help isn't very helpful

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akutasoda · 1 year

Note

hiii!! Have you heard of the song ‘Dial Drunk’? It’s becoming my comfort song so-

reader who uses alcohol to cope and will just randomly call them crying asking to be taken back? Even if they’re still in a relationship? I’d say it’s because reader might see them as someone from a past relationship cause reader can’t get over them yet?

(with Dazai, chuuya, atsushi, Fyodor, and kunikida? + anyone you want!)

-🌀Anon!

blank memories

synopsis - feelings are strange and often become more prominent in certain circumstances

includes - atsushi, dazai, kunikida, chuuya, fyodor

warnings - gn!reader, angst, slight comfort, quite heavy, alcohol, mention of underage drinking, fyodor being horrible with emotions, wc - 720

atsushi nakajima ★↷

as someone who only wants the best for his partner, would be absolutely so sad to see you in such a state. but seeing the fact that you're with him would probably mean your close to his age - so that would be even worse for him to see.

and getting any kind of phone call from you and seeing you so upset would mean he's dropping everything he was doing and going straight to you to comfort you.

would want nothing more than to help you and maybe get you out of using alcohol to cope, telling you that he would always be there to help and support you in whatever way you wanted

no matter the reason he would try his absolute hardest to help you. afterall he believes you deserve everything and seeing you like that breaks his heart.

osamu dazai ★↷

a man who personally and very id very much ashamed of it, but had turned to the bottle a couple of times when feeling particularly low. but that all changed when he had met you, you finally gave him a reason to attempt to crawl out of his bad habits.

but throughout the relationship he could tell something was slightly off but respected your privacy and wouldn't pry.

but when he found out about your habit it pained him deeply as he knew all to painfully what you were feeling. to receive a phone call from the one of the only people who bring him happiness sounding so distraught made his heart ache.

he would want nothing to comfort you in times of need but unfortunately he was never all too good eith his own feelings, let alone another persons. but he'd be damned if he didn't try and help you in the ways you've helped him. whatever the reason for you to turn to the bottle he would try his best to help you.

doppo kunikida ★↷

would only ever touch a bottle of alcohol in celebration or, very rarely, in times of desperation. although he heavily strays from the second as he knows how bad it is and wants to avoid it at all costs.

receiving that drunken call from you did nothing but break his heart even if you two were still together. would try and comfort you in whatever way possible and whatever the reason that you told him he would still offer nothing but support.

wouldn't openly tell you how much he hated your way of coping but would try and slowly gett you to stop and find another way around, with your consent of course.

chuuya nakahara ★↷

yet another who is no stranger to turning to the bottle in his darkest times. sure he does openly drink but it is never in serious amounts unless its really rough. and he knows, and he's not proud of it.

so receiving that phone call from you in the middle if the night, he couldn't help but feel himself be nearly brought to tears at your drunken, distraught cry to be taken back despite nothing between you two being off. what made it even more painful for him was knowing exactly how you felt.

now he knew he wasn't one to criticise your habits but maybe you two could figure it out, get both if you off the habit and do nothing but be there for each other. whatever the reason for your habit he would listen and offer his most heartfelt advice.

fyodor dostoevsky ★↷

someone who would rarely even think about touching a bottle of alcohol. not only does he just hate the idea but he hasn't really got a healthy body. so alcohol normally is out of the question for him.

but that's mainly because he isn't a fan of it, so seeing you resort to something like that msde him feel something he didn't want to feel. and receiving that phone call definitely didn't help. wouldn't immediately comfort you because he's kind of hopeless in that area.

but would talk about it with you later, once you sobered up and agreed to talk about it. would try to support you, again he's not that good with emotions but tries his hardest for you and hates to see you resort to alcohol and really wants to get you to find a new way if coping. a better one.

#🌀 anon↩#x gender neutral reader #x reader #bsd x reader #bsd x gender neutral reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs x you #bsd x you #bsd x reader angst #bsd atsushi #atsushi x reader #bsd dazai osamu #dazai x reader #bsd kunikida #kunikida x reader #bsd chuuya #chuuya x reader #bsd fyodor #fyodor x reader

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months

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AITA for agreeing to be a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding even though I think she's making a huge mistake?

(Emojis so I recognize it 👰‍♀️💍🤵)

So my (24F) cousin Anna (21F) got engaged at the start of December. This was really surprising to me because the last time I saw her at Thanksgiving she was just starting to get back into dating via tinder after a couple bad breakups, and she wasn't actively seeing anyone yet. When I got home for Christmas break, my mother told me that Anna had gotten engaged to and moved in with her new boyfriend, Evan (~22/23M), an army guy she'd met three weeks before and that no one but her immediate family had even met yet.

Our family has always been pretty close, and this was concerning for a lot of reasons. 1) she literally just had a nasty breakup with her rebound boyfriend after a nasty breakup with her last long-term relationship, making this guy her 4th serious boyfriend this year, 2) she historically has very bad taste in men, every boyfriend she has ever had had treated her horribly and she ties her entire self-worth up into how her boyfriend sees her so she's literally never been single for more than a couple weeks since high school, 3) her older sister (28F) literally just left a 13 year abusive relationship with the guy who started grooming her when she was 15 and he was 28, 4) the groom is about to ship out for a 9 month deployment a month after their March wedding and military men are notorious for cheating or divorcing on long deployments, 5) she wants her dream wedding in March (giving us only 2 months to plan and fundraise), despite her parents already being in tight financial straits bc they started building a house right before unexpectedly needing to take in and help provide for their eldest daughter and her two kids and both my grandparents (who live with them) having sudden drops in their health to the point where my grandfather probably will pass in the next couple months and my grandmother could pass at any time (though tbf, were pretty sure no one has told Anna this since my grandparents don't want to scare her and her mom's in denial).

I also just really don't like the groom bc the one time I met him he made a ton of racist and homophobic jokes despite there being multiple black and queer family members present, but if that were the only thing I could probably bite my tongue since I don't think that's something that bothers her or anyone else in the family. I'm just really worried about her, since it seems like she's been going through something for a while and I know how hard this is on my whole family, especially my grandparents, since we all are really scared about what's going to happen to her if things go wrong and considering the circumstances, that's a good chance this will go wrong.

I want to make it clear, I do really want this to work out for her. She's head over heels in love and he seems to care about her too. I just don't expect it to go well and I've said as much to anyone who asked how I feel about it.

Here's where I could be the asshole: Anna's really having a hard time with the entire family telling her this is a bad and impulsive idea, feeling like everyone who has a problem with it isn't supporting her. She called and asked me to be a bridesmaid, specifically because "you've always looked out for and supported me even when no one else did, so I really want you to be my bridesmaid." I told her I would love to be there and support her however she wanted me to, and I fully intend to be the best bridesmaid I can be because I want this to be a happy memory for her and to take as much stress off her and her parents as possible. But now she thinks I support this marriage when I definitely don't and have been open about that with both our moms as well as her sister (the maid of honor), my SIL (also a bridesmaid), and my brother (a groomsman), all of whom are in the same boat.

So, am I the asshole for agreeing to be my cousin's bridesmaid while thinking she's making a big mistake?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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nrdmssgs · 10 months

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You weren't supposed to laugh

Masterlist

My submission to @glitterypirateduck 's Alex Keller Challenge November 10-19 Promt used: №27 You weren't supposed to laugh Pairing: Alex Keller x Reader TWs: no Friends to lovers, fluff, confession.

"You're an egoist, Alex Keller," he mutters irritated to himself, fastening his pace, almost running, ignoring cold heavy water drops landing on his head.

How long did he knew her? Five years? Or seven? How long does he have this hopeless crush? Five years? Or... Yes, he was done for from day one. She had this certain warmth surrounding her, a serenity that contrasted sharply with the intensity of Alex's work. The world could descend deeper into a chaos, but she remained a constant in his life, a pillar of support, he selfishly was afraid to lose. So Alex Keller, the devoid of fear Echo 3-1, kept his mouth shut, just holding on to her, even as a friend only.

"A coward!" His insults are spilled through gritted teeth. Alex was ready to risk his life again and again, but didn't have the courage to confess his feelings. The stakes seemed too high, his chances - almost non-existent. Why would ever decide, he was the right guy for her after all?

He was almost never there, when something bad happened to her. Alex didn't hold her, when she had to put down her old dog - he was on the other part of globe, fighting. He didn't distract her with a movie night and snacks, when she had to wait for a result of a quite serious medical test - he was sleeping in a transport between two missions. He wasn't even there to cheer her up, after her project, she worked on so hard, got rejected - he has just taken the car to a service station and was walking out of it on his two. She didn't specify in the first place, when would the presentation take place, but Alex feels terrible for not asking her every week, every day, if necessary, when is the D-day for her project. And because of that, he found out the bad news per phone call.

She sounded exhausted. She was never a whiny type, but this time Alex heard tears in her voice. Too much effort was put into this work, too many sleepless nights. It broke his heart to hear her like that, and he panicked.

"...Useless dumbfuck." He stops for a moment, replaying their call in his mind.

For some reason he decided, he needs to make her laugh at any cost. Maybe it was the pain in how her 'hey, can you please talk to me for a few minutes?' sounded. But Alex was lost. At first, he tried his stupid jokes. As many as he could remember. When it didn't help - he switched to imaginary scenarios.

"Hey, you know, what would be funny? If you brought a soldier on your presentation! So that every time, your clients interrupted you or paid more attention to a view outside their windows - the soldier would harshly snap at them. 'Following every single letter of this debriefing could save your life, private!' or something like that..." Alex doesn't really control the words leaving his mouth as long as they make her laugh. And he actually succeeds, because in a few moments she starts to chuckle. So he goes on, telling her, how would her day would go, if she was followed by a military guy in a full gear and a death stare ready for anyone, who is about to cross her path.

"He would scare others off, you know?"

"With his glare or with his guns?"

"With his bizarre hairstyle. You know how your hair start looking after a week of constant sandstorms?"

Her laughter is a light, tinkling melody to his ears, reminiscent of wind chimes on a breezy day - light and refreshing. In reality, its the only thing on his mind every time, he has to endure through another sandstorm on deployment.

"... and at the end of the day he would escort you home and salute you."

"Wait, and a payment? I wonder, how much would it cost to hire such a guy for the day."

"Payment? Don't turn a beautiful act of an altruism into some banal deal! Dunno, maybe a forehead kiss?"

For the next ten minutes they discuss military payment strategies, barely containing laughter. When they say goodbye, a random phrase escapes his lips.

"Love you so much."

She laughs once again. Something deep inside Alex shrinks. He doesn't even hear her saying 'bye' - every other voice around him get silenced by a sinister noise - a symphony of shattered hopes and distant echoes.

He's an egoist to keep her in the dark, not shoving her his true feelings for ages. A coward, who could never open his mouth, even when the moment was right. A fool, who just blurted this confession out of nowhere in the middle of a joke. She didn't understand, he meant it, and Alex can't blame her honestly.

And now he runs to her place like a dog, running after a car carrying away his favorite person. He is desperate to the point, that he can't even start thinking, what would he tell her, once she opens the door.

So when he sees her tired, yet surprised face, his first phrase comes out as awkward as the confession itself.

"You weren't supposed to laugh."

She looks at him startled and confused for a few painfully long moments. As Alex understands, how puzzling that sounded without the whole context from his mind, he runs his hand through his wet hair and shakes his head.

"Alex? You're ok? I-I wasn't expecting you!" She drags him in her house and takes off his wet jacket, so calmly, as if he hasn't just said some complete nonsense.

And at that moment Alex understands: for two long he stayed in his very own trail of thoughts, his own context. She definitely deserved to know more about what was going on in his head. He no longer had the right to keep everything quiet for years and then dump such strange conversations on her.

So he touches her shoulder softly.

"Hey, don't bother hanging up my jacket. I might need it in a moment, if I sre-"

"Alex, you're scaring me! What is happening, why are like this?" A worry in her voice stings him with guilt. But he proceeds, ignoring raindrops still rolling down his face and under the collar.

"I know, we were playing around on the phone today. And I was incredibly happy to cheer you up. But the last thing I told you... You weren't supposed to laugh. Because I meant it. And before you slap my face for being such a mess - I know, it sounded as a part of a joke. But it wasn't. It wasn't for the last I-don't-even-know-how-many years. And if you give me a chance - I am ready to confess it properly. But if there's no need - I'd better just take my jacket and see myself out."

As he fell silent, the world around them seemed still. His eyes, always so attentive and kind, when she was around, looked deeply worried. Alex felt vulnerable, everything in him screamed to keep her by his side at any cost, to turn this all into yet another joke, so that she calms down and stays his friend at least. But Alex didn't let these feeling get better of him. He waited patiently and obediently, not daring even to breathe in.

She turned away, and hung his jacket on a hanger.

"You won't be needing this anytime soon, Alex."

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ayyko-rona-yoo · 1 year

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𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐱 𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐑!𝐟!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: none. 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: Remember that the Soviet Union is not only Russia. 𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞. 𝐒𝐨 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰.

First, let’s figure out how someone from the USSR could have ended up in the States. There were only two options: either you were stripped of your citizenship or you fled the country. Let’s take the first one - suppose your father was a writer and he was stripped of his citizenship because he was writing literature that was against the country’s ideology (I won’t go into details because in reality things were more complicated and scary). You don’t know how your father had connections there, but pretty soon your family got invited to the United States. The person who invited you was Mr. Noel. He also allowed you to stay at his house until you find a place to live.

He’ll probably see you for the first time when he goes to Chris with Knox to give him moral support, and if he’s hesitant, kick his ass.

You didn’t go to any school because you didn’t have the proper documents for enrollment yet, but every morning you walked Chris to her school.

"Where is she?" Charlie asked.

Knox looks at the crowd for a few seconds and points to Chris walking next to you. You stop at the entrance and she goes inside. You wave your hand at her and turn around to walk away. And Charlie stunned.

"Well, this is… Chris? You certainly have less chance than Denburry."

"I know… wait, who are you looking at?"

The next day he’ll try to get to know you. Like… It’s Charlie. I don’t think he’d wait long if he was up to something. The only reason he didn’t do it yesterday was because he didn’t want to hurt Knox’s feelings. He was quite sure that charm you would be as easily as possible. However, he did not expect that you would not be very talkative. And one more thing. Obviously, your English isn’t the best at the moment, and that complicates things, too. But the other problem is that his manner of speech and his behavior… scared you off a bit.

'I’m not serious at all, and I pass no skirt by' - that’s what you’d expect from a guy like that. In the society you grew up in that kind of behavior was discouraged and considered suspicious.

So the only thing you could say when a guy you didn’t know stopped you on the street with a playful grin was quick 'Sorry, I have to go'.

And now Charlie stunned again. How is that even possible? Back at Wellton, he didn't say a word when the poets asked him how it had gone. He told them so confidently that you won't be able to resist him. So how can he now admit that you ignored him?

Of course he’ll be teased about it, especially by Cameron. "Our Nuwanda can’t pick up a girl, huh?"

"Just shut up."

Again, this is Charlie. I believe he wouldn’t give up so easily. So now you meet him almost every time you walk Chris to school. And honestly, it was pretty creepy.

But then again, he didn’t do anything… outrageous, right? He wasn’t stalking you, you two were always out in public, so if you needed help… I think it’s clear what I mean.

At first, he just said hello and asked how you were doing. Then, when you didn’t answer, he said something about himself, about how his day was, complaining about Mr. Nolan. And even though you didn’t understand half of what he was saying, over time, you got used to his company. It took a long time, but Charlie was on cloud nine when you first answered him, "Not too bad… You?"

He was so proud of himself, so that night he wouldn’t shut up. Even after Cameron threw something at him for the third time in a row, so that he would stop talking and let him sleep.

Charlie finally got your name. You’ve had no contact with any of the locals other than the Noel family, so you’re not sure how anyone would react if they knew who you are and where are you from. What’s your name got to do with it? Well, it sounds unusual at least, so… easy to guess. Anyway, Charlie only knows your first name. So far.

Before you knew it, you were waiting for him to show up. Soon you even began to answer him with short simple phrases and laugh with his jokes, if you understood them.

Poems. Well. It’d be weird if he didn’t come up with a few poems about you, right? But you’re not used to the sound of English poetry. Although it’s better to say poetry in English.

I’m not sure how to describe it, but poems in Russian are very rhythmic, they hold a permanent rhyme. They sound different. So when Charlie first read you a poem, you didn’t even get what it was. Congratulations, this is the second time you’ve broken his heart.

One day you offered to walk you home. You’ve known each other for almost two months, and you’re in a good mood today. Why not spend more time with him? And, of course, Charlie could not refuse such an offer. While you were walking, you were talking about yourself more than usual, and even though you were still afraid to tell Charlie the details, you were very eager to give him a hint.

"Was it a poem again?" you said, standing at the front door.

"God, don’t say that, you’re making my heart bleed!"

"The only thing that bleeds is my passport," you opened the door and entered the house. "See you tomorrow, Nuwanda."

The next day he’d walk you home again. You said you had to hurry somewhere, but he insisted. Actually, Mr. Noel was supposed to be taking your family to the embassy today, so when you came, everyone was getting in the car.

You wanted to say goodbye to him, but he asked, "What you meant by 'the only thing that bleeds is your passport'?"

Should you tell him now? You looked him in the eyes for a few seconds, then sighed and took your passport out of your purse and handed it to him.

"I guess now you see what I meant," you muttered with a shy smile.

Its cover is red. Yellow letters, two words – 'СССР ПАСПОРТ' (In fact, red passports were introduced only in the 1970s, but it's not an archive document and I’m not here to teach a full history lesson. So let’s pretend that in 1959 it was already red, not gray).

"Are you coming with us, miss?"

"Yeah, I’m coming." You grabbed your passport out of his hand and went to Mr. Noel’s car, waving goodbye to Charlie.

Well. When you’re a guy from a wealthy American family who goes to a prestigious private school and lives a quiet life, the chance that you meet someone from the USSR… Is there even a chance?

Anyone would be shocked, maybe scared even. But Charlie… Of course he didn’t expect it and he’s surprised. But given his personality and character, I think he would rather be pleasantly surprised. Perhaps even excited.

Now it all makes sense. That's why you avoided him at first, why you spoke rarely and why you seemed to have a slight accent. Turns out he was right about the last one.

He’s definitely gonna be proud that he’s the one who got such an unusual girl like you. He’ll tell the dead poets about it as soon as he gets back to Welton. Cameron will be the only one who won’t believe him.

After that, you became more open with him. You’re still embarrassed by your poor English, which Charlie secretly likes. You told him why you live in the Noel house and about your friendship with Chris. You didn’t tell him the details of how you got here. He asked you a lot of questions, so you had to say it is very painful memories and you’re not ready to talk about it.

Charlie wouldn’t be Charlie if he didn’t ask you to teach him Slavic swearing. He literally begged you to, so you had to give up. Now it's the best way to shut Richard up when he does something annoying. He also mutters the curses under his breath when Mr. Nolan gives a speech.

You grew up in the Soviet Union, where a working woman was a normal thing (it's a myth that there was full equality of men and women in the USSR; but again – it's not a history class). So when the question arose of how to renew your visa, you immediately began to think about how to get a job. And Charlie sincerely does not understand this. You can just get married, can’t you? It’s the simplest and seemingly obvious option.

He’ll ask you to marry him. Many times. Every time you start talking about how hard to find a way to stay in the States is. Maybe it’ll sound like a joke at first. But the embassy continues to reject your application, so he starts talking about it more seriously.

#charlie dalton #charlie dalton headcanons #dps #dead poets society x reader #dead poets society #charlie dalton x reader #dps x reader #dps charlie

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