#anything else is a problem for future me

[girlscience]

I am getting a gym membership. fuck it. i want to do powerlifting so fucking bad. it is literally all i think about anymore. i just want to throw weights around for an hour. i want muscles so fuckign bad

[tea-earl-grey]

there's something so dismal about how so much of tv fandom's energy nowadays seems to go towards trying to prove to big corporations that their show is good enough to save. like whenever a new episode or series comes out it's "remember to watch it all in 24 hours or it won't get renewed!" "play it on repeat for a month or else it'll become another piece of lost media!" "don't stop talking and posting about it during the hiatus or else this season that's already in production might not air!" "if this tag trends on twitter for long enough we might get eight episodes instead of six!!!" it feels less like we're enjoying a show that so many people worked hard on and more like we're trying to create rituals to please the gods (which replace gods with The Algorithm and you're not far off).

like i haven't even been involved in fandom for that long but even just seven or so years ago if a show did well enough that it was nominated for awards and trending on twitter and having well attended comic con panels then it would be renewed for at least a season or two. and back then being renewed for another season meant "we're for sure going to get a new season next year!" with almost no possibility of cancelation. and even shows that did just okay ratings wise would easily get 5+ seasons.

and it was more fun. when i was watching Doctor Who or Arrowverse or whatever in 2014 i could enjoy and critique the media itself instead of constantly being nervous about whether the next season will be cashed in for nostalgia bait or have its episode count cut or be postponed for three years or just outright canceled because it was slightly less popular than last year. like the fandom would still stress out over potential bad narrative choices or whatever but we would also get excited about the future.

maybe it's just my own perceptions but i just tend to find myself favoring fandoms for shows (or at least eras, i'm looking at you Doctor Who) that have been completed. i like Good Omens and Our Flag Means Death and Strange New Worlds and Percy Jackson and the Olympians and the latest Doctor Who era but i just find it hard to get invested when there's so much anxiety around if there will be a future to those shows and so much of the fandom activity revolves around that anxiety. and then as a result when the show does end for good (whether through cancelation or design) the fandom starts to fade away too because so much of it was based on the temptation of The Future.

and i'm also quick to admit that production in pre-streaming era shows had their own problems (once popular shows running for 15 seasons and jumping the shark just because it's a cash cow, tampered down diversity in the interest of "popular appeal", the whole quantity over quality issue, etc) but at least the fandoms were more optimistic and focused on the story itself instead of just being angry about the eternal potential of cancelation or outright deletion.

(also there are obviously much larger issues to the streaming model re: residuals and everything else brought up during the wga and sag strikes but that's all been said much more coherently so i'm just speaking from my own perspective as a fan. and even then there's still definite overlap between the fandom anxiety over renewal and the real world economic anxiety for people involved with production over "will we have a job/be paid". it's far too early to tell but i really hope the strikes will help to solve this problem.)

[galaxywhump]

I present to you: a budgie of motivation

Aww thank you, I feel very motivated ❤️

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

like im just saying they should invent a family that doesn't make you want to kill yourself

[thebleedingeffect]

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[supersymmetries]

i've finally reached the part in the semester where we're covering the second law of thermodynamics. matt bellamy we're in it together now

[katyspersonal]

I really do not deserve sympathy if I keep trusting into people who obviously can only hurt and invalidate everything about me and everything we had as soon as I don't meet some of their selfish expectations. As soon as I start to feel safe and accepting living together, I fucking hear "we have no reason to be friends if you don't get into the videogames that I love" when I explained 500 times how I interact with videogames and fiction and why I cannot just waste my days playing many of them and why I cannot simply chug up new information and content often.

But really, why should anyone care about the fact that I get hurt again and that I am crying again, when I am the one who never fucking learns and keeps giving a chance to a person that I /know/ doesn't care and will harm me when I expect it the least? That every time it is another dumb, stupid, minor thing that magically makes me no longer important. That I cannot be honest and cannot be myself without being punished for it every time. That I just am not worthy of acceptance and understanding and unconditional love, it seems. That I am never good enough. Maybe people that hate me and want to exterminate me for the awful sin of having terrible mental health were right. Maybe I am weak for expecting anything from wrong kind of people. And the weakest must be gone.

[no-one-hears-me]

I've spent too much time on the verge of suicide to be here today

[sovamurka]

face you make when your gf tries to make a deal with Satan, which, as you personally know, is the worst idea ever

[kirexa]

There's a lot of things that if you guys knew you would probably yell at me abt

[icewindandboringhorror]

is this actually that uncommon? I don’t even unpack just the DAY I return from somewhere, but it’s literally the first thing I do. I do nothing else until I’m unpacked, I have everything organized back in it’s proper place in the house within an hour of getting home lol.. I thought this was typical??? What’s the cultural norm?

[nomaishuttle]

okay saur when i get home im gonna try and fill out the insurance form since well im stuck here. once thats through and ive got insurance set up im gonna try and do a proper psych eval bc i reakized ive bever actually had one. and i think itd be very very useful

[whimsyprinx]

currently failing to cope with the fact that none of my friends feel like My Friend

[rainbow-angel110]

Y'all my self resolve is cracking. I know how to access the episode but I don't want to because I want to be fair to everyone and not have a head start.

But with how many spoilers I've seen (a couple of em here and there) the temptation..... ugh.

I'm not watching it yet though, I'll try to wait it out, but if I do, I will not be posting about it, nor will I reveal how I'm able to watch it. Don't ask me about it, I will not tell you.

I'm alright with people watching it, that's fine and dandy. Do it, I literally don't care.

But please for the love of God don't post spoilers, or at least use warnings like the "Read More" option, and please don't tag Dana saying that you saw it and all, that's just outright disrespectful.

[buckynats]

.

[notjanine]

okay i’ve had the nothing-serious-not-interested-in-monogamy talk with both of them and they’re both cool with it, i guess i’m just gonna continue dating both of them, this is. going way differently/better than i ever could have expected