#anything would be fine because standing on the stage in front of me right now is the Hibiki Wataru I love and admire''

[starpros-sunshine]

I'm still thinking about these roses. From what I could gather blue rose symbolism is something like the mysterious or unattainable and yellow rose symbolism is something for friendship or passion or love at first sight or eternal love and white roses symblise loyalty apparently and. if they really took the symbolism of the roses into consideration and didn't just put them like that because it fits the colours of the fine uniform and Eichis hair and eyes that would make this card so much better. cause. yanno. EP:Link. Wataei.

[dat-town]

abcdlove

Characters: school radio club leader!Taesan & class president!female reader

Setting & genre: high school au, coming of age, first love, fluff, a hint of enemies to lovers but it’s only in the girl’s head

Summary: You convinced yourself that you hated Han Taesan after what he had done in sophomore year but now you have to work together on a senior project and maybe he isn’t that bad. Or maybe just for your heartbeat.

Warnings: stage names are used, OC has negative opinion about Taesan and Leehan in the beginning, mentions of social and parental pressure, the amount of banana milk consumed might not be healthy, hopefully not too ooc even though i wrote it within like 2 weeks after @restlessmaknae started sending me bonedo content

Words: 9.6k

Author’s note: this is the product of the amount of Ann Liang books i binge read recently, the instagram algorithm and @restlessmaknae’s marketing for Zico’s kids. this really pulled me out of my writing slump, so thank you for that! honestly my first impression of Taesan was that he looks like a tsundere, so that’s pretty much how it all started.

i'm pretty sure you guessed it; happy name day @restlessmaknae <3

read Leehan’s companion piece here

You had been following your well-planned route to success for years. You had already taken advanced courses at a prestigious hagwon, a private after-school academy for the subjects you totally needed to ace at CSAT. You also offered tutoring services to underclassmen, volunteered at the local library during summer and carefully chose your extracurriculars to align with the ideal student vision SKY universities had. You only needed to follow through the plan in your senior year too and you would be fine. You would finally make it.

Needless to say Han Taesan wasn’t part of your plans.

Yet, there he was standing right in front of the principal’s office where you were heading in all his 6 feet tall glory, his school uniform’s tie neatly done for once.

“What are you doing here?” You blurted out with no greeting when your steps slowly halted next to him, your jaw set and muscles tense.

Taesan turned his head slowly and looked at you impassively from under his dark fringe before speaking up in his raspy voice that made your classmates swoon whenever they heard him make a radio announcement.

“What does it look like?” He raised a brow as if he was telling you not to ask stupid things.

There could only be two kinds of reasons why somebody was called into the principal’s room: either very good or very bad. You had never gotten into trouble, so you were hoping for something positive but seeing the boy there wasn’t really promising. Not because he was a troublemaker or a bad student. He might not have been a straight A student like yourself but he was the leader of the school radio club and he was also generally liked among his peers as far as you knew. Your wariness was more so because you didn’t want to be associated with him in any way.

“Oh, both of you are already here. Wonderful! Come in, come in,” the office door opened and Principal Im rushed you inside with a welcoming smile.

At least, you could be sure by then that the news wasn't anything too bad.

You took a step to follow the man inside at the same time Taesan moved next to you as well which made you momentarily falter. However the boy merely reached out and put a hand onto the door’s edge to keep it from closing. You had to force yourself not to scoff at the fake gentleman-ish action and instead just duck under his arm to go inside the office.

You just sat down in one of the cushy chairs and smoothed out the lines of your school uniform skirt when you heard the door close and soon enough Taesan took the chair next to you.

“Alright, I won’t even waste your precious time since I know both of you are busy. I called the two of you here because as representatives of the senior classes, I would like the two of you to conduct interviews with your classmates and prepare a pre-recorded radio segment that can be broadcasted on graduation day. It can be about anything you want: what the students’ aspirations are or what they liked the best in high school. I trust you will do a great job,” the principal smiled at you hopefully but you could feel your own polite smile freeze onto your face. This was not how you imagined yourself spending the first term of senior year.

“But…”

“Yes, Y/N?” The principal looked at you expectantly and you could feel Taesan’s dark eyes on you as well which snapped you out of your confused stupor.

“Why the two of us?”

“Of course, you can get others to help too if you want but you have exceptional organizing skills as I heard and Taesan already has experience with our recording system and editing softwares. You two were the first ones we could think of, but of course I can’t force you…”

“It would be an honor, Principal Im,” you hurried to stop him there because there was no way you would have said no to a task like this. Not only because you could hardly say no anyways but also because it would look good on your resume. The only thing that bothered you was having to do it with a boy you could not stand. If you had that much time and you could do so, you would have gladly done it alone without his help but no matter how much you hated it, Principal Im was right: he had the skills to perfect a radio segment.

“Great! If you don’t have further questions, then good luck!”

“Okay, what about we meet after school to discuss the plans?” You asked immediately once you left the principal office because you had less than 5 minutes until first period and since you didn’t share a class with Taesan, you rarely ran into each other unplanned (thank god) and you would need your color-coded planner from your bag to plan any further than the afternoon.

“I have a radio club thing until 6,” Taesan simply said, not offering any alternatives, so you let out a sigh. Of course. What did you expect?

“And I have academy classes every other day,” you pointed out because he wasn’t the only one busy. “Then I can just email you your parts and we don’t need to–”

“So you can complain later that I’m freeloading off your hard work? No thanks,” the boy interrupted you and your gaze sharpened at him. He leaned casually against the corridor’s wall, a hand reaching up to loosen his tie and tilted his head at you as if to challenge you to protest. “We can make do during lunch hour.”

You opened your mouth, ready to tell him that you had plans already but going over your History notes, when it was just the first week of the term and you were ahead of the course work anyway, wasn’t that necessary even though you hated giving in to his idea.

“Okay, let’s meet outside at the benches then,” you agreed, telling yourself to be the bigger person, and turned your back on the boy before he could see the frustration bubbling up in you.

You and Han Taesan had the kind of history that you didn’t really like to revisit. That’s why your initial reaction was to roll your eyes whenever you heard his voice on the school radio or to puke your guts out when girls gushed about his ‘tsundere charm’. Their words, not yours.

Actually you would have probably not cared about the guy if it wasn’t for your model student campaign which he had ruined. Last year the school had run an event to choose a student representative by voting and every candidate could have a pre-recorded segment on the radio. You had your own carefully recorded and edited audio file with the best convincing speech you could prepare and emailed them the sharing link on time just to hear yourself sing your go-to karaoke song through the radio on the big day. In panic, you ran to the school radio broadcasting station only to find Taesan sitting there by the control panel with headphones over his ears, calmly letting the audio play well past the two minutes mark, seemingly not finding it weird at all that somebody tried to win the campaign with a karaoke rendition of a love song instead of saying a few words. As it turned out, you managed to share your entire recordings folder with the radio team but the club president, instead of playing the file titled campaign_speech_final.mp3, decided that AUD_20230326_192251.mp3 was the right track for your model student image. That week you not only lost that title to the grade’s pretty boy, but you lost your pride as well and it was all Taesan’s fault. Not that he ever thought to apologize or right his wrongdoings. So no, you weren’t looking forward to working with him at all.

He was late.

You had already dotted down six different questions and a rough program outline with your half-finished, now cold rosé pasta lunch menu  on the side by the time Taesan put his tray down on the outdoor table.

“You are late,” you picked at him right away which earned you a rather confused look.

“It’s still lunch hour,” he pointed out and dug into his own kimchi jjigae like he had all the time in the world. His behavior was seriously dancing on your nerves.

“Whatever. Let’s get into it,” you prompted because you didn’t have time to argue about semantics or his attitude. “We should divide the related tasks this week, finalize the questions and gather people for the interviews, then we can start on those next week.”

“What’s the rush? We have months until graduation,” Taesan questioned and while he was right (or because), you had the sudden urge to strangle him right there. You forced yourself to stay calm.

“Well, I don’t like to leave things to the last minute. Closer to graduation, we will be busy with the exams and college applications anyway.”

“As if you don’t already have everything prepared,” he muttered absentmindedly, scooping more kimchi on his spoon, eating without a care.

You pursed your lips, annoyed. You needed to remind yourself again that you had no time nor the energy to argue with him if you wanted to get this discussion done before your upcoming English class.

“Khm… so we can agree on splitting the interviews between us, right? You interview your classmates and I will do mine. We just need a common question sheet,” you said, tapping the end of your pen on the table.

Whether it was the repetitive sound or your words, it managed to get Taesan’s attention. He looked up from his food and leaned forward on his elbows, his dark eyes sharpening their focus on you.

“How would you record the interviews?” He asked, simply yet you had a feeling it was a tricky question.

“On my phone?” You furrowed your brows. Wasn’t it obvious? How else did he expect you to do it?

“That won’t be good. We would have a huge difference in audio quality. So unless you are fine with that, you need proper equipment. I can borrow a portable mic from the radio club, but I’m not trusting you with that.”

“Excuse me?” Your eyes widened in disbelief but Taesan didn’t elaborate on his reason. Ridiculous. He was just looking for faults in your ideas.

You let out a huff of frustration.

“Are you that desperate that we work together?”

“It’s called professionalism, miss class president,” he taunted you, looking completely serious. “I don’t want to broadcast anything under my name that’s just ‘good enough’.”

“Do you now?” You snorted and rolled your eyes. As if it wasn’t him who played your singing for the entire school. Where was his professionalism then? Who was he to lecture you about it? But okay, you could be the bigger person if he was so freaking stubborn. “Fine. We can do the interviews together with your fancy mic. These are the initial questions I thought of.”

You slid your open notebook towards him with questions about what they used to dream of becoming as a kid, what they want to be now, what colleges and majors they considered as well as their most memorable moment at the school and what they would tell their younger selves or their underclassmen. Taesan furrowed his brows as he was reading through the draft, probably dissecting each of your questions like a poor lab rat but eventually didn’t say anything. You raised a brow at him when your eyes met and he just shrugged.

“Sounds good to me,” he said which didn’t really added value but at least he didn’t find something to pick on in everything you did.

The rest of the discussion went easier as it was obvious that he would be the editor and you would organize the interviews. You were already mentally preparing a survey to send out to the students via the group chats you usually used for class president duties to see when they would be free to conduct the interview among the slots you offered. Taesan wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about the hectic and busy scheduling in the upcoming weeks but eventually agreed to get it over with within two months tops. He must have realized too that the earlier you finished with this project, the sooner the two of you could part ways.

You had the first batch of interviews at the end of next week. After ruling out inconvenient locations, you ended up with the obvious option: doing the recordings in the school radio clubroom. You were against it at first because the last time you had been there you faced public humiliation, whispers behind your back for weeks about your singing and messed up campaign, but objectively speaking you knew it was the most reasonable choice, so you bit the bullet.

You arrived ahead of time, of course, but you were quite surprised that Taesan was already there too, setting up who-knows-what on the professional equipment. He looked up when the door opened, the sun hitting the side of his face, giving it a natural warm glow, a stark contrast to the coldness he often radiated. He acknowledged your presence with a nod then went back to his work, so you just put your stuff down next to the round table in the middle of the room and got ready with your nicely printed questionnaire.

For the most part, the interviews went well, the students showed up more or less on time for their own slot, Taesan let you do the talking, merely letting you know when a recording started or ended. It all started going down when the last interviewee for the day didn’t show up. After five minutes passed, you texted Wonyoung asking politely whether she forgot the interview but she didn’t answer. Ten more minutes of awkward silence while Taesan was playing (or texting, you couldn’t tell) on his phone, you tried calling her but with no success. You started getting restless and frustrated.

“She could have at least told us if she wasn’t going to come,” you muttered more to yourself than anything when your next call went to the voicemail as well. It was such a waste of time just waiting.

“Why do you always assume the worst of people? Maybe something happened and she can’t make it. She could be too sick to care about you blowing up her KakaoTalk,” Taesan looked up from his phone and there was something in his eyes that made you feel like you were in the wrong, like you were a sulky child because generally it wasn't like you were always this pessimistic about people, but before you could have argued, Taesan sighed. “You can go. I can interview her if she shows up until 6.”

Well, you could have taken his word and left. Wonyoung was his classmate and he probably didn’t have anything better to do anyways. There was a set list of questions and not much to mess up. But just as he didn’t want you to handle his beloved mic alone, you didn’t want to leave it to him alone. So you just stubbornly held his gaze, trying to come up with a more profound reason when the clubroom’s door opened and Wonyoung stepped inside in the cheerleading squad’s PE clothes.

“Sorry. Practice got delayed. Thanks for waiting for me,” she panted and Taesan sent you a ‘told you so’ look which made you want to commit atrocities. You hated not being right and even more to be reminded of it.

“It’s okay. Catch your breath,” you turned to the girl with a reassuring smile but you were undeniably relieved when you could finally bid goodbye to her and pack up. It was getting late.

However, when you saw that Taesan was still saving the audio files and uploading them to your shared cloud folder, then putting away the recording device and the mic, you stalled around the door, feeling inconsiderate to leave earlier.

“Just go,” the boy muttered gently when he noticed your hesitation and you didn’t need to be told twice.

On your way to the bus stop, you stopped by at your favorite corner convenience store for some banana milk and almost missed your bus but luckily the driver saw you running and stopped.

“Thank you,” you bowed to the middle aged man who just mumbled something about youngsters these days, then tapped your transportation card against the sensor before looking for a place to sit.

Since it was past the rush hour, there were quite a few empty seats but there was one next to a familiar face close to the door. He had put on a hoodie over his uniform and had his head against the window, eyes closed but you would have easily recognized his long ass limbs everywhere. With the taste of your hurt pride still fresh on your tongue you walked past him, sitting down in the very back, only checking on Taesan a few times to see if he managed to wake up in time to get off at his stop.

Even without the interview project, senior year was busy. You felt like your days were piles of classes, homework, mock tests, real tests, tutoring and studying. Sometimes you memorized English vocabulary or dates for History class even during your lunch breaks or on bus rides because that way you could make the most out of your time. Some might have argued that you took it too seriously but if you wanted to get into the top universities of the country, you had to.

No wonder you spent the two hours you had between classes and tutoring on Friday in the library too, working on your Literature essay. It was kind of boring and you had a long week; you justified your frequent yawns and slow blinking. You didn’t even notice when you slipped into a dreamless sleep, not until you woke up with your head over your folded arms on the table.

As you were still in the haze, instead of panicking that you might have missed your tutoring class, you slowly blinked yourself back into consciousness and the first thing you saw was a pair of eyes.

The boy sitting at the table next to yours was looking at you with something akin to the mix of concern and amusement but you were too busy committing the lovely almond shape and chocolate brown shade of his eyes to your memory to be bothered by it.

Then the realization hit you like a truck because it was no other than Han freaking Taesan.

Oh, did he always have such pretty eyes?

Realizing that you were staring, you quickly turned your gaze away, sat up properly and fixed your messy hair while mentally reprimanding yourself for letting your sleepiness take too much control over you.

You hastily checked the time on your watch, sighing in relief that you only napped for about 15 minutes, so you still had time to finish what you were doing. Which was…? Ah, right, your essay.

You cleared your throat as you focused back on your homework, pretending not to be hyper aware of every chair creaking or pen against paper scribbling sound coming from the table on your left.

The next batch of interviews were scheduled a week later and you did everything in your power to avoid Taesan, hoping that he would forget that embarrassing little encounter you had in the library. Not like he was looking for you either but now that you have become more aware of his presence, you suddenly noticed him everywhere. He wasn’t just the subject of your classmates’ talks and an annoying voice from the radio anymore, he was in the canteen, on your regular bus, on the corridor between classes. Really, you wondered if it was your mind’s self-sabotaging doing or you just managed to ignore him previously. Since you tended to be laser focused on what to do, often walking by people you know without recognizing them, it wouldn’t have surprised you that much.

Still whenever you saw him, he was usually alone if not with juniors from the radio club, so you were a bit taken aback (and you weren’t sure you were hiding it well) when a bunch of his friends from his class were already in the clubroom by the time you got there. The door was left ajar, so you could hear Jungwon’s bubbly laughter and Gyuvin teasing Taesan for ‘working oh so diligently’. They all fell silent when you pushed the door open wider and suddenly their attention was on you. Leehan patted Taesan’s upper back with a grin and muttered something about ‘boss lady is here’ which earned him a glare.

“We will be on our best behavior,” Jungwon saluted with a promise when it turned out they booked the first three slots of the session on purpose, so they could sit through each other’s interviews. While you interviewed people by themselves, since the entire school would hear the edited version anyways, you supposed it couldn’t be a problem if they really did behave. They were friends after all, if they wanted to share them why not?

Them chuckling at some parts of each other’s answers or whisper-shouted hollering about future ambitions was a bit distracting but nothing seriously annoying. You could only hide your laugh with burying your face in your hands when Gyuvin recited a freshmen memory as his most memorable with a prank that ended with the four of them becoming friends. Apparently the day before the first term’s end, right on the edge of the summer holiday, Taesan had brought soap dispenser-shaped water guns into the PE changing rooms, so whenever somebody just tried to wash their hand, they got wet. It shouldn’t have been funny since it was rather childish, but glancing at the always stern and intimidating Taesan and seeing him smile at the memory turned it into something lovely even if it ended with the four of them arguing about whose was the best prank out of all the ones they did over the years.

It was truly one of a kind to see Taesan interact with his friends, people he felt comfortable around. He suddenly became talkative and loud yet warm and gentle when he scolded Gyuvin like an Asian mom for falling asleep at Miss Lee’s class again but promised to send him his notes once he got home.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you shrugged when he caught you red-handed watching him still after he literally pushed his friends out of the door.

Despite witnessing this side of him, if you wanted to be honest, it didn’t quite sit right with you that he was friends with Kim Leehan. The popular boy might not have ever rubbed salt into your wounds by reminding you that he was chosen as the model student representative of the school instead of you who was the grade’s academically best student, the defeat still hurt. You didn’t like to lose in general. So while you knew it was a far-stretched idea, your mind couldn’t stop coming up with scenarios to prove that Taesan sabotaged your campaign speech on purpose to help his friend and it made you irritable and restless during the rest of the interview sessions.

When you were finally alone, it made you blurt out:

“Was it a prank too?”

Taesan froze mid-movement when you spoke up. He was doing the finishing touches, getting ready to leave as it was just the two of you. He slid the headphones, which he used to make sure the recording quality was good, down around his neck.

“What?” He furrowed his brows, visibly confused and you weren’t surprised, he had probably long forgotten how he had humiliated you.

“My model student speech last year,” you said, your nails digging into your palms, bitterness sweeping into your features.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the boy claimed, firm in his standpoint which made you snort.

“Of course, you don’t,” you muttered, then grabbed your bag and walked out of the door before you would say something you would regret.

A part of you thought that Taesan would ignore you the way you ignored him, especially after your callout (or whatever he wanted to call it), so it took you aback when the opposite happened.

As a class president you often had to help the homeroom teacher. It was nothing out of the ordinary when he called you into the teachers’ room and gave you a box of university application help books to hand out in class. It wasn’t really heavy but there was no proper handle on the box, so you had to hold it against your chest and it made it hard to see the stairs in front of your feet as you walked up to the classroom.

Students came and went both ways around you, nobody really paying attention to you struggling not to fall and you let out a little sigh of relief when you reached the first landing of the staircase without tripping. You adjusted your grip on the big brown box and was about to go on when the box crashed into somebody’s chest… or more like, stomach.

“Sorry, I…”

You were about to apologize automatically when you saw Taesan standing in front of you, very clearly on purpose. However, before you could have told him to move out of your way, he did the unthinkable: he easily took the box out of your hands, his knuckles brushing against your open palms as he did so.

“Hey! Give it back!” You reached out for the box again once you snapped out of your stupor but the boy’s hold on it was too strong.

“Stop being so stubborn for once,” he said, his quiet, deep voice washing over you in waves and then you could barely do anything but watch him turn around and walk up the stairs with ease, the box in his hands and his bag thrown over one of his shoulders.

You shuffled after him a bit awkwardly, halfway torn between being grateful because out of all people in the school only him was considerate enough to offer help and being offended and angry because what if he only did so because he pitied you now that he knew that you still held grudges over what happened last year.

That became a smaller worry though as you realized he was heading straight towards your classroom and you didn’t even want to guess the rumors starting if even just one gossipy girl saw him help you. You grew more anxious the closer you got but Taesan’s steps halted right before he got to the door. You almost bumped into his back at the sudden pause.

“Here,” he turned to you with the box that you took gingerly, making sure you didn’t touch this time.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, actually meaning it but you couldn’t tell with Taesan’s low hum and light on his feet disappearance if he believed you or not.

The third week of interviews went without a glitch. You were almost done which also added to your good mood. One less thing to worry about, one less to-do during your already busy weeks.

Taesan stayed behind in the clubroom this time too, hunching over the computer setup with the headphones on like always but for the first time you said bye. Or well your version of it.

“Don’t stay too late,” you told him loud enough, so he could hear you through the headphones but turned on your heels before you could have seen his reaction.

It was a good day, you decided. You got praised by your Literature teacher for your essay on the themes of social class and Confucian values in your recent obligatory read. The interviews went smoothly and the corner CU had a 1+1 promotion for your favorite banana milk. You even caught the bus just in time, getting on the vehicle after two giggling students. It was busier now than usual because lots of students had to stay longer in preparation for the Freshmen Open Day.

Apologies falling from your lips, you made your way through the crowd in the front of the bus and looked for a seat in the back. That’s where you caught sight of Taesan with his bag on the seat next to him and when your eyes met, he pulled his stuff into his lap. You hesitated for a moment but that was pretty much the only place left and it would have been more awkward if you didn’t take it. So you dropped the ignoring act, swung your bag to your front and sat down, drumming with your fingers on your knees. The bus departed from the stop and took a turn, the silence between the two of you becoming louder than the chatter around you.

You unzipped your bag and pulled out the banana milk bottles you just bought and held one out towards Taesan. The boy turned his head towards you, his dark eyes unsure and… was that blush on his cheeks? Your hands touched when he took the bottle from you, sending little tingles over your skin.

“Wanna listen?” He held out one of the earbuds of his wired earphone that he always seemed to have with him. So old-fashioned, so cool.

You felt shy as you looked him in the eye because it was like sharing something intimate. Still, you took the audio device and put it inside your right ear, smiling as the unfamiliar beats of a slower western song played. You pierced through the lid of the banana milk with your straw and hid your smile behind your drink when you saw Taesan do the same.

Maybe you were just warming up to each other after weeks of working together but it gave you the push you needed to ask about what you were listening to and it started a whole monologue about the kind of music Taesan liked and how his father introduced it to him. Honestly, he listened to a lot of bands you heard of but couldn’t really associate songs with and quite a few you hadn’t even heard about. You didn’t mind though, you liked listening to him talk about it, watching him gesture and slur his words when he got excited. It was a lovely side of him.

The bus ride never felt so short.

That one conversation and shared banana milk somehow led to daily song recommendations from the boy. He was always curious about your opinion even if you didn’t like it. Soon enough he could guess pretty accurately if you would like a song or not, so he even created a Spotify playlist just for you that he updated frequently. This turn of events was surely unexpected but not at all bad.

You also got to know that he would have liked to study sound engineering in university and you told him about your own ambitions and why it was so important for you to have near perfect grades and all those achievements. Belatedly you realized that you had never told anybody how much impact it had on you that you were constantly compared to your cousins.

It was a new side of Taesan you got to know, a side he didn’t show to just anybody and you realized it was the same with you. You hated showing weakness in front of others, yet it wasn’t too bad to admit to him that you tended to be judgemental with people because nobody had really been patient with you either before labeling you this or that.

But texting over the phone was one thing, you weren’t sure it would change anything in person. Sure, you had been seen together due to the interview project but that would be over soon. Not to mention you really didn’t want to deal with high school gossip in your last school year. And yet, you couldn’t help but look for Taesan whenever you were in the school canteen or near his clubroom. You caught yourself anticipating the radio announcements just to hear his voice. It was pathetic really, how fast you went from finding it annoying and purposefully ignoring him to waiting to see him.

Your heart did a little somersault when you actually saw him in the library one afternoon and only when you walked closer did you notice that he wasn’t just leaning over his papers but he was sleeping soundly, his pencil still in his hand, his textbook getting wrinkled under his weight. Briefly you wondered whether you should have looked for another place since Taesan must have chosen this corner table far in the back to have some peace but you would have liked to believe that he wouldn’t have minded you joining. After all, he waved to you casually like you were friends when you ran into each other on the corridors earlier that day.

Eventually, you pulled out the chair on the other side of the table and quietly put your study material down. You squinted at the books and printed papers around Taesan recognizing them as advanced Maths exercises on trigonometry. While you were trying to see if it was a sheet you had already done, something else caught your eyes instead. The light reflected on the silver bands around Taesan’s index and ring fingers down to the similar thin, metal bracelet he wore. You had never noticed that he wore accessories but you had never really paid attention to what he was wearing either (except his unmade tie). Or maybe due to the long sleeved uniform you couldn’t even notice it but now that he had his sleeves rolled up and arms outstretched, you couldn’t help but notice how long and elegant fingers he had, unfairly nice for a guy.

Taesan suddenly exhaled sharply which made you act on impulse. You leaned back in your chair and looked down at your randomly opened book just in case he woke up. However, his quiet sleeping noises soon returned to normal, so you deemed it safe to look up. You let out a relieved sigh when you saw his eyes still closed, his eyelashes casting a light shadow over his cheekbones. Dark strands of hair fell softly over his eyes and you weren’t sure what came over you but maybe all those silly romance dramas were right when they thought girls couldn’t stop themselves from brushing a boy’s fringe out of his eyes just once in their life. But just as you reached out, Taesan straightened his back and yawned like a cat, stretching his arms towards the sky. He blinked himself awake slowly but he froze the moment he noticed you right in front of him.

To make the situation less awkward for both of you, you smiled at him as casually as you could (which wasn’t much thanks to your racing heartbeat but still, you tried) and turned to your book, flipping to the correct page you wanted to review. From the corner of your eyes, you saw Taesan fix his clothes and sit up properly before arranging his rumpled papers to continue the Maths exercises. He must have been stuck on a problem though because he kept sighing and going back to the same page in the workbook. After his sixth or so frustrated sound, you couldn’t take it anymore.

“What are you stuck on? Maybe I can help,” you spoke up, closing your own book, so he would see your focus was on him.

“It’s fine,” he dismissed your offer so fast that you could tell he didn’t even think about it. You were sure because that was what you tended to do too: claiming you could handle everything on your own. But still, sometimes wasn’t it nice to receive help? Like how he had helped you with that box?

“Okay, then what about explaining it to me?” You changed your strategy because sometimes even that much could help: offering a listening ear. Maybe he could realize the mistake he was making in the equation while telling you about it.

You didn’t even think about it, you just stood up and walked to Taesan’s side of the table, sitting down next to him, leaning closer to see his scratchy handwriting and the calculations he had been doing. You might have blushed when you realized just how close you were but you refused to show it. You took studying seriously after all. So you looked the boy in the eye with a challenge in yours until he gave in.

Four minutes later he found the trigonometric identity he used incorrectly.

After sharing songs through texts and studying together at the library, the next thing that became a routine for the two of you was visiting the corner convenience store whenever you left the school together. When it first happened, Taesan claimed he needed to buy something too but he was looking around in the snack aisle suspiciously long (you missed your usual bus that day), so the next time you told him that you would catch up to him at the bus stop, he didn’t need to come with you. But more often than not, he went along with you anyways and ended up buying candies or chocolate bars. When you told Taesan about your go-to emotional support banana milk reminding you of your childhood, he told you that he wasn’t really into sweet things, so he bought all these snacks for his younger siblings. One time he bought a pack of four cream milk breads just for the freebie Pokémon toy that came with it because his little sister liked that character. It made you coo internally.

It wasn’t always just the two of you though. One day you were going over the English vocabulary with Jihan from your class in the library when Taesan and Jungwon walked in and took the desk next to you, eventually joining the English quiz. Another time Leehan needed to stay after school too because of his model student representative duties (a photoshoot for the Freshmen Open Day brochures apparently and suddenly you weren’t so sulky that you didn’t get the title) and he decided to tag along when he saw Taesan and you head over to the nearby CU.

“Ah, senior year is really hell. Everyone’s so busy we barely have time to hangout after school anymore,” he justified himself while throwing an arm around Taesan’s shoulder. “Jungwon told me you went to the library to study the other day. Since when do you do that? I thought you said being around so many people is distracting.”

You still heard Leehan’s voice as they disappeared into the snack aisle with the purpose of getting jellies and you walked forward to the refrigerated section, trying not to think too much into it. Maybe senior year changed Taesan’s mind, maybe he found the presence of others motivating now. Or maybe he just wanted to spend more time with you. The thought alone made you shy.

You were on schedule with the interviews and soon only the intro and outro as well as your own parts were missing. You wrote a script for the introduction and ending which Taesan improved with his experience of radio shows at school. You argued about whether your version with the ‘high school memories forever staying with you’ sentiment was too cringy or his ‘it’s only the beginning’ version was too vague but this time there was no harshness in your voice, there were no grudges held, it was only friendly banter as you went back and forth with arguments supporting your own ideas.

Eventually you managed to find a common ground, mentioning both the importance of keeping one’s high school memories as a reminder of their formative years and youth as well as being ready for what was coming. It was not even a question that it would be recorded by Taesan because he really had a nice voice and while you tried to stay professional and pay attention to his pronunciation and the flow of the speech rather than him, you failed miserably. Luckily, Taesan had enough radio experience to know exactly what to do. He introduced the segment with ease and charm, captivating the audience (you, for now) and you had to clear your throat to focus when he finished reading.

“We can start the interview with me,” you said, eager to get on with the tasks before Taesan could call you out on your behavior. He must have known your reason for the sudden change of attitude though because he smiled to himself, quiet but obvious about it, as he held the microphone out for you and hit record.

You knew all the questions by heart but still you waited for the boy to ask before you answered.

“When I was young, I wanted to have my own karaoke room. There was one on the basement floor in the building where I used to live and the owner auntie always gave me homemade honey biscuits. She seemed to be so joyful humming songs happily,” you said at the first question, glancing in Taesan’s direction briefly.

He must have been surprised – you were too –, because it wasn’t the model student-like answer everybody was expecting of you like saying your dream had always been to become a doctor or lawyer. Honestly, you had your own answers prepared and memorized ever since the questions for the student interviews were finalized and approved by your teachers. But looking back at it now, you felt embarrassed because even though it was just an interview, it wasn’t graded or judged, yet you had felt obligated to answer according to what other people would think of you. However, in the recent weeks as you got to know Taesan better, you realized that people would judge others without reason, without knowing them, even you. So you shouldn’t have changed your whole personality just so you would fit into this image they had of you. Even if it was about your parents’ or teachers’ expectation or your classmates calling you the teacher’s pet behind your back. You had been okay with the prejudices since high school was just one step in your foolproof plan to lead a successful life, you had been okay without building deep connections with other students because you had known that you would drift away after graduation anyways but only lately you realized that you could have had fun while also working hard. You could be yourself and let people closer. The world wasn’t going to crumble, it wouldn’t ruin your plans. You could be honest, both with yourself and others, because what was the worst thing that could happen? That they would judge you? They are doing it anyway, so it didn't matter.

“And now? Now I’m applying for business majors. I’ m not sure what exactly I would like to do with my life but I will get there. Who knows, maybe one day I will open a karaoke room, too,” you chuckled even though your ambitions were to build a bigger company, something creative and useful. You still had time to figure out the details.

In the beginning of the term you would have felt vulnerable sharing these about yourself in front of Taesan or the entire school because everybody expected you to know what you want to do with your life but now, it felt okay. You actually felt lighter, relieved. Especially because there was nothing akin to judging in Taesan’s eyes as he smiled at you from the other side of the table.

“Please tell us about your most memorable high school memory,” he recited the last question after you went over all the others.

Previously, you would have said it was being chosen as a class president because it was an honor and a proof of hard work but now, your academic achievements didn’t seem that important. What will you really remember when you will be older and think back on high school?

“Honestly, senior year so far has had some unexpected surprises, it’s hard to choose just one but maybe this one. Now,” you and me, just the two of us in the radio club room, being vulnerable yet not being judged. “I like the person I have been becoming ever since this senior interview project started and I think it's going to be a great memory one day.”

Silence embraced you as you finished talking, a bit nervous but without regrets. Taesan pressed a button and the recording stopped, ready to be saved.

“So karaoke room, huh?” He asked and you kicked his shin under the table for that teasing grin on his face.

“Your turn,” you reminded him as you passed the mic and adjusted the headphones around your ears. By then, over so many interviews you were sure Taesan knew what was coming too but just for the show you asked him about his dream job as a child versus now as well as his higher education plans.

“Becoming a musician was my childhood dream. My entire family loves music, many of us play an instrument, so it felt natural,” Taesan said and even though you didn’t know this, it wasn’t hard to imagine given his love for music and all that knowledge about genres and classics. “After I joined the radio club, I realized that I like it a lot despite the fact that here we don’t usually play music. So it would be cool to be a radio DJ on a music show one day but I’m interested in the technology behind it all, that’s why I will study sound engineering.”

You smiled to yourself because you had already known that latter part and it felt nice knowing you had come so far. After a few more answers, you got to the last question about his most memorable moment and Taesan’s feline eyes turned mischievous.

“Hm, a fierce girl yelling my head off during a live school radio radio–”

“Yah, be serious!” You interrupted him when you realized he was talking about what happened last year but your voice was more amused than scolding.

“I am serious,” Taesan claimed but there was a teasing tilt in his mouth. “It’s pretty memorable.”

“So you’re saying I was the only girl interrupting you during a broadcast? Shocking,” you raised a brow at him, a small part of you feeling triumphant about the fact that in a way you were special even if your first actual meeting didn’t have the best circumstances. Thank god that his microphone wasn’t on when you showed up and straight up started questioning him. “Also, just to clarify I wasn't yelling. I just expressed my bewilderment about why you were playing that audio.”

“That was the only one under your name.”

“What?” You blinked, confused at Taesan’s quick response. He sounded like he meant it but you knew that couldn’t have been true, they got access to your entire recording folder accidentally. So if he didn’t see that, it meant he wasn’t the one checking their emails.

“To make sure things are running smoothly, we always have a script about our broadcasts and all the audio files are organized in linear order in a folder for that day. I just played what was prepared for me,” he explained and gosh, you felt so stupid.

All this time you thought he had been the one who chose the wrong file on purpose maybe to help his friend, maybe to just have a good laugh but it made sense that his juniors were more likely the ones doing such preparatory work.

“But still, you could have stopped it instead of just letting it play,” you muttered, trying to justify your reaction.

“Well, at first I thought it was actually a pretty unique tactic and then…” Taesan scratched his nape and looked away, then shrugged as if he just convinced himself to tell you something that might be embarrassing. “To be honest, I just liked your singing.”

At his words you felt the tip of your ears burn and heat spreading all over your cheeks. You were glad that the lighting in the room hid it well.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You found yourself asking quietly because thinking back you weren’t exactly nice to him.

Taesan gave you a look. Okay, true, you didn’t really give him a chance to explain before antagonizing him. And then it must have been weird to just bring it up.

“Right. Um, sorry,” you mumbled, embarrassed due to your too quick judgment but the boy just shook his head as if he had never been mad at the injustice in the first place. “About your answer though, you have to cut it out.” 

Obviously with 60 people answering 6 questions, not everything would make it into the final cut, it would be more of a montage of answers, a glimpse of the seniors’ lives and you didn’t want to be reminded of that incident in front of the entire school. Not again.

“Nope,” Taesan protested, popping the ‘p’ sound, teasing just to be difficult.

“I’m deleting it,” you warned him but you seriously miscalculated several things: there was no way you could have reached the computer before him and with him standing in front of the monitor and keyboard you didn’t see anything. You tried to get hold of the mouse at the same time as looking over the boy’s shoulder but he made sure that he was always in the way which somehow turned into a one sided (struggle) wrestle match and honestly at that point you weren’t even trying to achieve anything and both of you just laughed at your poor attempts.

“Am I interrupting something?” Spoke up a newcomer you didn’t even notice. Sullyoon, another radio club member from the year, stood by the door visibly surprised to see you or well the current situation you were in: Taesan leaning against the desk in front of the computer and you pretty much plastered over him, trying to reach something behind his back.

“No!” You objected vehemently and took two steps back, stumbling a bit. Taesan reached out to steady you by the forearm and only after he made sure you wouldn’t fall did he turn to the girl from his club.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I just forgot my buju here,” Sullyoon got over her surprise too and quickly retrieved the prettily decorated journal from one of the shelves. You watched her go and then buried your face in your hands because of embarrassment.

“Emotional support banana milk?” Taesan prompted after he saved the files and turned the computer off.

You smiled at him and followed him out closely. If you were any better off, you would have teased him about his flushed face but instead you just made him race you to the convenience store, so both of you would have an excuse if anyone asked about your red cheeks.

Now that all interviews were done, only the editing was left from the project and while you could have left it all to Taesan since he did the actual editing, you were there keeping him company all through it. First of all, you listened to all the raw material and decided which answers to include from each interviewee in the final cut and then you could help out when he needed a second opinion on the order or cut parts or whether the transition was smooth or not. When he was deep in the concentration mode, you just did homework or studied for upcoming tests. It took three sessions to finish it (you had to force Taesan to get his ass out of school during the second one because he was determined to finish it which past you would have appreciated but not even this project was worth losing proper meal schedule or sleep over it) and when you listened to the final version you were proud of what you had done, together.

“Should we celebrate?” You suggested once the file was sent to the principal and his secretary. You finished it pretty much on schedule and yet, you weren't as relieved as you thought you would be when you had first started it. But still, it was an achievement and you liked to celebrate small wins like this because if you didn't, who else would?

You meant it as in going out to eat something good. For example, in the tent restaurant two streets down the auntie was selling the best tteokbokki you had ever tried. But Taesan had his own idea.

“What about karaoke?”

“Yah! Stop teasing!” You glared at him but you weren't actually mad, it started to turn into a private joke between the two of you.

“I’m not!” The boy insisted and all it took was his almost pout to convince you.

There were karaoke rooms on pretty much every other street in this neighborhood, so it wasn't hard to find one where you booked a room for an hour and bought snacks and drinks at the counter from the girl who looked like a bored university student.

You usually went to sing with a small group of girls from your class, so it was the first time that it was just you and a boy. And not just any boy but Han Taesan. Somehow it felt more special. Sure, he might have already heard you sing and said that he liked it, but you were shy, so you insisted that he would pick a song first. He chose Dean's 21 and totally nailed it, the karaoke machine's high score proving that you weren't just biased when you told him that. You had already liked his speaking voice but when he sang, oh boy! You could have listened to him for hours.

You went with a girl group song you were confident in and it was fun. Song after song you both hyped each other up and the one hour passed by quickly. A part of you wished you could just pay for one more and sing until your voice became hoarse but the rational part knew that you shouldn't have stayed out too late. You still had homework to do and Taesan needed to memorize those English words for tomorrow's test.

It was the same T side of you that went a bit ahead of you and started thinking about the midterms and then how busy you would get once summer ended and the last term rolled around. It was still months away and yet, you wondered if it took that much for you to drift apart or the end of this interview project would be enough. You were a bit scared to know the answer, just how you were scared to answer Jihan's question the other day when she saw you walk to class together with Taesan. Admitting out loud that you liked him would have made it real and it would have made you vulnerable. You weren't sure you were ready to do that but it was certain that you didn't want to lose him.

“Taesan…” You spoke up quietly, swinging your feet back and forth on the bench in the bus stop after you spent the walk from the karaoke room to the stop in silence, lost in thought. The boy turned his head towards you, his fringe getting into his eyes, messy and beautiful. Your heart ached with the certainty only first love could. “Now that the radio segment is ready, will we go back to how we were?” You asked barely in a whisper as if speaking louder would have had its consequences. That was also why you had to rush to clarify. “Because I don’t want that. I… I would miss you too much.”

You didn’t mean to say it like that and it was a scary thing to admit but it was worth all the extra beats of your heart to see Taesan smile, a shy little thing stretching slowly from one side to another, his eyes sparkling under the moonlight and street lamps’ glow.

“Me too,” he said and you reciprocated his smile. There was a short pause, an inhale of the universe waiting, then Taesan called your name and you looked up immediately.

“Hm?”

He looked you in the eyes with those dark oceans of his. Once you associated them with the cold depth of the sea but since then you realized that you were wrong. You knew only a few people who had warmer souls than this boy.

“You are my most memorable high school memory for a reason,” he whispered like it was a secret and a promise at the same time.

It left you speechless a moment too long and the bubble around you burst when the bus pulled up in front of you with a loud screeching sound. Taesan was quick on his feet but instead of getting on the bus right away, he looked back at you and held a hand out for you. You blamed it on not having time to think about it with the bus driver yelling at you impatiently and took it, following the boy onto the vehicle and to your usual place in the back with a smile on your face and a new rhythm in your heart.

Taesan didn't let go of your hand during the entire ride. As you closed your eyes and listened to the music he put on, you hoped he wouldn’t let go for a long time.

[finelinevogue]

you’re okay

summary - you’re anxious but harry will always be there

a/n: im so nervous about hslot tomorrow so i thought i’d write this <333

“There he is!”

An encore of cheers for Harry fill the room as he runs in all sweaty, taking a short ten minute break before his encore.

His all black outfit is something to make you melt from how hot he is. You don’t even think he actually understands how gorgeous he looks right now. His hair is disheveled from running around on stage and his clothes are sticky with sweat.

You want to go up to him and give him a hug and a kiss for the show so far, but your anxiety roots you to the sofa.

You don’t even think you have anything to really be anxious for, but sometimes your nerves and shakes come over you when you least expect them. Your chest feels like it’s hollowing and your stomach feels like it’s swimming with butterflies. They’re both horrible feelings and you can’t seem to stop them. The shake in your hands in your only tell, to other people, as well as your bouncing knee.

Harry hugs a couple of people and he’s passed a water bottle by Brad. He guzzles it down quick and thanks him afterwards.

He then spots you, sitting in the plush velvet couch that he brings on tour with him. A sofa you both picked out together and Harry can’t be apart from.

Harry is quick to crouch down in front of you, putting a ring-filled hand on your knee to control the nervous tremors.

“Baby, what’s got you all anxious?” He asks softly, trying to keep his volume low so people don’t start to listen in.

“I don’t know.” You say, teary eyed slightly. “No. I’m fine, i’m fine.” You shake your head defiantly, convincing yourself more than Harry.

“It would be okay if you weren’t fine, you know?”

You nod your head and notice your foot now bobbing away because your knee couldn’t.

Harry keeps his focus on you. He doesn’t deter for anyone or anything.

“Sorry. I’m sorry.” You begun shaking your head instead and look down at where your fingers are fiddling with each other. You furrow your eyebrows as you try to think of ways to keep your tears back.

“I don’t need an apology, baby. If you need to apologise to anyone, it’s yourself, because you should be kinder to yourself.”

He moves in a little further towards you, using another hand to cup over your smaller ones. He holds onto you tight, grounding you.

“Sorry.” You barely whisper.

“I have to give fifteen more minutes of myself to all those people out there and then i’m completely yours for the rest of the night, okay?”

“Completely?” You look at him with hopeful eyes.

Normally Harry is busy whisked away to complete various business tasks or music recordings after his shows, but his words carry hope that it’s just you and him tonight.

“Absolutely. We can do whatever you want. The Harry Potter movies are on Netflix now, we could do a marathon? Or just watch ‘Goblet of Fire’? I won’t even get jealous when you fawn over Cedric.” He giggles and you can’t help but give a small laugh back.

You take the time to notice your hands have stopped twitching now, thanks to his, and your leg bounces are a lot calmer.

“Can we get a Dominoes takeaway too?”

“I’ll ask Jeff to call it in now, so it’ll be ready for us at 10:30, okay?” He squeezes your hands for reassurance. “Just promise me you’ll be okay for another 15 minutes. I’ll be as quick as possible.”

“I promise. I feel better now anyway.” You smile genuinely.

“Good.” He leans over to kiss your hands softly.

“H? We need you back now.” A member of the crew calls for him across the room.

“Go be brilliant.” You tell him.

“Go be brave.” He replies.

He stands up and leans over to kiss you, promising a proper kiss when he returns. For now you just enjoy a little kiss with your sweaty boyfriend.

He kisses the top of your head before turning to leave the room, screaming as he leaves; “I love you Y/N!”

All because of Harry does your anxiety slowly disappear and the warmth spreads over your heart once more.

[wildestdreamsblog]

Hiraeth: 1

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Reader

Summary: You had always been his, and no one could take you away from him. Idol!AU

Warnings: Yandere behavior, Obsessiveness, Possessiveness, Manipulative behavior, Slight age gap, Murder intention, Mention of death, Sexual themes, If you’re not 18+ please, PLEASE, do not interact. Be mindful of the warnings. Let me know if I miss anything.

A/N: I’m in my Jin-I-miss-you era and I’m taking u all with me. Idk yet if this will be two-shot. Do tell me your thoughts 💜

Masterlist

“I’m going to marry you.”

The nine-year old Seokjin lost his concentration upon hearing your declaration. He blinked, and all of a sudden, the game signaled that he lost. His hold on the game controller slackened. It gently hit the carpeted floor. He hated losing. It was game over all because of you.

“I’m never gonna marry you,” he said so meanly that he was sure you would finally stop following him around. But the five year-old you merely grinned, several teeth missing and announced that he would marry you. You were sure of it.

“Will you stop following me?!” Jin seethed, glaring at your small form as you didn’t mind his anger and continued walking behind him eagerly. Jin was at the stage where all he wanted was to move, to burn the excess energy. He was into sports lately. And because he was fond of it, you were, too. Wherever he went, you’d follow. It was like he had another shadow besides his own.

It was annoying.

But it was also comforting.

On times when he’d fall, knees and hands bruised or bloodied, there you were, quietly telling him it was going to be fine, gently washing the blood off of him. You were always there to help him stand up again. You always carried around cute bandaids. He liked to think that you carried it for him.

He was twelve now, and you still followed him around. He even told his mother about you, but she merely giggled and told him that you were the cutest little girl she had ever seen. He should have known she wouldn’t side with him. After all, your father was his father’s best friend. This was why you were always around…and he was used to your presence that when you couldn’t attend some of his family’s event, he would sulked. But the young Seokjin couldn’t wrap his head around the reason why he hated when you were gone.

Yet, he was irritated by your presence.

He saw you as a nuisance, but you saw him as someone who was larger than life. In your young mind, he was the epitome of perfect. He looked like a prince, and his family treated him as such. You wanted nothing but to be his princess. And so, you spent your younger days following him around. You saw him through all the stages in his life, until he became that lanky, yet sporty teenager.

He was fifteen and you were eleven. You knew he was even more irritated with you than glad that you were with his family during their vacations. His mom treated you like her own daughter, saying that you were the daughter she never had, and you were only too glad to have a mother figure. On some vacations, Jin would be kind and played with you with the sand. On some vacations, he would watch out for you whenever you strayed too far on the sea.

On some days though, he scoffed at your presence.

Like right now.

You looked at the entrance of your school with mild confusion, your strides faltering as you realized it was Jin who was waiting for you outside the school premises. He was cooly leaning against their car, their driver sitting on the car, waving at you with a smile on his face. But Jin looked angry.

“Who’s that?” Your close friend and classmate, Chan, asked you. “Why does he look mad?”

Yes. Why was Jin mad?

Perhaps, Jin was too impatient to wait for you because not a moment later, his legs that you noticed were becoming longer as the years passed by brought him faster to you. He stood in front of you, towering over you and Chan. And was he glaring at him?

“Jin!” You gushed in excitement, your adoration to him apparent that you were sure your eyes were gleaming with unrestrained happiness. “Why are you here?”

He turned to you after scaring the poor boy, “Your father asked me to pick you up from school. Our families are going to have dinner together,” he replied in a tense voice. He didn’t even let you speak when he grabbed the backpack that you were wearing, and dragged it to the waiting car.

You didn’t get the chance to say your goodbye to your friend.

Inside the car, his eyes were trained on the window, watching the passing cars. He was pouting, his lips protruding adorably. And there you were, sitting beside him as you nonchalantly ate your candy whilst talking animatedly to their driver.

“Does your father know you have a boyfriend?”

You blinked owlishly, confused with what he suddenly said. The driver only shook his head lightly and smiled. He was watching the young sir sulked until Jin couldn’t keep his silence anymore.

“W-what boyfriend?”

“That boy you were walking with.”

“He’s a friend!”

Jin turned his head to look at you, his eyes appeared darker as he took you in. You were ridiculous in his eyes.

“Sure he is. I’m going to tell your father about this,” he promised in a monotonous voice. His jaw was clenched as he remembered clear as day how the two of you walked so near each other. He knew how other boys thought, especially on that age with their silly crushes.

But if he thought you would be mad, he could not be anymore mistaken. You instantaneously slid across the sit, almost plastering your side to his as you looked up at his eyes.

“Oppa, are you jealous?” You asked with a wide grin on your face, your lips the color of the sweet candy you were eating.

He blinked repeatedly. He could not believe he came across as that! He was just…looking for you. Right?! He was just somehow protective of you.

As gently as he could, he pushed you away. “Don’t be delusional! I’m just worried for uncle! He works so hard only for you to be with boys when you’re so young!” he explained in an annoyed voice, the volume of his voice rising like the way his ears reddened.

“So I should not be with another boy?”

“Yes.”

“So if I stay away from them, will you marry me when we grow up?”

“No.”

You only rolled your eyes at him, unbelieving that the two of you would not end up getting married. Your young self was sure that you would end up with him. A year later, your father transferred you to an all-girl’s school. You didn’t have to know that it was him who influenced your father to do so. At such a young age, Jin was starting to become darker, perhaps a little bit more manipulative. He had done it so underhanded by using his charms and well-placed words that no one would think of him as anything but a sweet, young man.

You were thirteen when girls started being mean to you. Why did kids have to be so mean? Why did kids have to find someone else’s weak spot and attacked it?

You were walking to an alley, a shortcut to your home, minding your own business when the mean girls from school saw you. You learned hate because of them. Your steps faltered when one of the mean girls noticed you.

“Look who’s here,” she sneered, looking at you up and down. Her other two friends paused their chats to look and you and laughed.

“What’s with your messy hair?” One of them asked in disbelief, circling you as she lifted some strands of your hair. You would admit you were bad at combing your hair. You were used to being one of the boys that you didn’t put special care to your appearance. “Do you look like that because you have no mother?”

“You looked like a rat that came from the sewage,” she mocked you. And then the three of them laughed in that annoying way of theirs.

It was not even funny.

You shook your head before attempting to walk past them. But apparently, they weren’t done with you. A scream erupted from your mouth when someone grabbed your hair, tugging it with enough force to bend your neck.

“Where are you going? You think we’re done with you?”

“Yes, freak. We’re done when we say we’re done!”

Even though you fought with all your might, you stood no chance. Three outnumbered one.

Until he came, like a hero you always thought he was.

Jin was in your house, his parents eating dinner with your father. He repeatedly looked at the clock, wondering where could you be. You should be home by now. His knee wouldn’t stop moving as he watched the clock. His parents were laughing with your father when he asked them where you were.

“Oh, she’s on her way home. She’s probably around the alley. You know that girl, she has no patience walking around the block.”

And that was when he left. He politely excused himself, telling them that he would just buy something from the convenience store. Yet, he found himself walking to the mentioned alley.

And he was glad he did.

You were so close to crying, something you didn’t like doing because it always took you forever to stop when someone roughly and carelessly pushed the mean girl away from you. She landed on the ground harshly and you heard her pained whimper. The other two went to their friend, pulling her away from the angry boy. You felt a gentle hand pulling you to stand. You felt Jin brushing the disheveled hair from your face. And then he flashed you a reassuring smile, yet his eyes remained angry.

You were limping as he walked with you. Up until now, he didn’t say anything. And you were all too glad he didn’t. That day, he pulled you to a convenience store, brought medical supplies, and cleaned your wounds quietly. He was bent down as he placed the final bandaid on your knee.

“What are their names?” He asked with an air of nonchalance, but what you didn’t know was his mind was brewing something unpleasant. He was going to unleash hell on those girls.

Without any thought, you told him.

And come morning, you never saw those girls again. Apparently, they were reported to the school and had to transfer.

He was seventeen when he saved you.

You were fourteen and he was eighteen. You were waiting for him outside the university he wanted to enter, in your hand was the placard you spent the whole night making. You were waiting to congratulate him on his entrance exam. There was a crowd outside the school, waiting for their sons or daughters to finish the exam. You were so sure that he was going to pass. Your Jin was the smartest man you knew.

You were grinning and waving wildly when you finally saw him. The years had only made him taller and more handsome. You sighed as his perfect face became more apparent as he neared you. You were so entranced by him that you didn’t notice his other friends and some girls trailing behind him. And they only teased him further when they saw your placard, snickering about how some young girl was pining over Jin.

As if he would be with you.

As if the Jin they knew would be with someone lower than him.

He was so embarrassed that he told you to go home.

“B-but-“

“Go home, Y/N.”

But you meant to ride home with him…

That day, it rained so hard and you were only too pitiful as you walked to the bus stop. You were shivering as you arrived home. And it didn’t come as a surprise that you caught a fever that night. For the first time, you ignored his text asking you if you arrived home safely. You had barely woken up when you noticed his form sitting beside your bed. Your father trusted him so much that he let him in your bedroom. He was silently watching you. On the bedside table was a basin of water and a cloth he used on your forehead. Jin might have appeared stoic in front of you, but inside he was dying from worry when he didn’t hear from you last night.

In fact, he was so worried that he came to your house, knocking on the door sheepishly when he woke up your father and asked if you were home.

He had been here for hours now.

“Are you mad at me?”

You smiled at him weakly. “Never, oppa,” you whispered.

“I’m sorry for leaving you. You should have not came alone, princess,” he lectured gently, still worried that you went on your own for more than an hour travel to cheer for him.

“I wanted to support you,” you pouting defended yourself.

“I know. But next time, don’t. I know you support me even without you going there.”

“W-were you worried for me?”

“Yes.”

“Then,” you said, sitting up slowly before flashing him your cheeky smile. “Will you marry me?”

Seokjin only shook his head.

He was eighteen when he didn’t outrightly said no. He was eighteen when he realized you meant the world to him.

Yet, he was nineteen when he hurt you the most.

It was Christmas. It was the first year he went to college, while you were still in high school. It was the first Christmas he looked forward to because your family and his were spending it together on a cabin near a frozen lake. He was the last one to arrive at the cabin, and he didn’t anticipate the traffic rush from people scrambling to enjoy their holidays that he arrived at a much later night. He didn’t know why, but he spent his first year away from home messaging you daily. He even went as far as demanded you to tell him when you would get home, or when you would go out with your friends, or when you needed someone to pick you up because he would. He would go to you regardless of how far he was. He would drive for hours for you.

Jin parked his car and entered the cabin. He knew you were probably sleeping already, but when he passed the dining room, he could hear conversations that turned something in his brain, something so horrible.

It planted something vile and poisonous in his twisted mind.

“Are you sure about this?” He heard his father’s voice resounding over the quietness of the night. He didn’t know why, but he stayed silent. He was always the polite one, always the one to greet his elders. But right now, he opted to forget his manners.

He opted to eavesdrop.

Your father sighed before putting the glass of whiskey on the table. “I am sure about this. I think it will be good for Y/N and I to move to America. I think it’s an offer I cannot refuse.”

Jin felt a stabbing pain in his heart. No. You would leave him. Your father would take you from him. He didn’t want you gone. He couldn’t have you gone. He would lose it if you weren’t around.

“When will you leave?” His mother asked gently. And Jin dreaded the answer.

“Next week.”

Not if Jin had anything to do with it. No one would take you from him.

“Oppa!”

He snapped out of his dark thoughts when he heard your angelic voice calling to him. You were running full speed to him, and before he knew it you were jumping in his arms. The blunt force of your body slamming to his brought him back to life, to his sanity that was slipping from his grasp.

“You’re here!” You grinned at him as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He was silent. He probably hated your embrace. He probably found you annoying, still.

You were about to step back when he wrapped his muscular arms around you.

“Y/N! Let Jin go. He’s tired from driving all night,” your father nudged you gently, his smile comforting as he greeted Jin. But to Jin, your father lost all his charm the moment he decided to take you away from him.

The lake was frozen.

It was the perfect time to skate. You were giddy as you and your father skated in the early morning of the Christmas eve. It had always been the two of you since you could remember. Your mother died when you were barely walking. To you, your father was your whole world. Your laughters resounded over the whole cabin, and Jin’s parents’ were happy just listening to you. Jin’s mother was preparing hot chocolate, and his father was putting gifts under the tree.

It smelled like Christmas.

“Jin! My boy, come join us!” Your father called when he noticed from a distance Jin who was standing statue like near the lake. His black coat was in perfect contrast of the whiteness of the snow. His cheeks and lips were almost red from the cold temperature.

You thought he looked like a prince.

You waved at him before twirling around the ice. You landed perfectly on your feet. Your father beckoned you to him, and you were only too eager to skate to him when you heard a cracking sound.

You threaded on the thin ice.

And before you knew it, you were falling in the deep, cold water. The unforgiving temperature of the water swallowed your screams. It swallowed your resistance. You managed to get your head above water only to see you own father fell down, the very ground he was skating on cracked under his weight.

It was merely a second but you saw the horror that flashed in his eyes, the despair of his situation, and the anxiety that he would not get to you on time.

The second time you managed to get your head above the freezing water, you saw Jin running to you, shedding his black coat on the ground.

“My father! Save him!” You screamed, even as your voice shook.

But Jin still ran to you. Without any thought for his own safety, he dove down to the harsh water. He dove down like an angel you thought he was as you sank further down, only the light from the cracked lake shone through. He thought he wouldn’t get to you, but by his strong, sheer will, he managed to grab your wrist.

Pulling you up was harder. But Jin was a determined man.

He swam up with one hand, while the other was secured around your body. He managed to drag you up, noticing how blue your lips were. His parents were screaming as they ran to the lake.

“Stay there!” He shouted, knowing how unstable the ice were.

“M-my father. S-save h-him,” you pleaded your hero, gripping his sleeve with weak hand as he wrapped his coat around your shivering body. It was a though he didn’t hear you, only focused on your well-being.

He could save him.

He still had the energy, the adrenaline rush still strong in his veins.

He could technically save him.

But your father was going to take you away from him.

“Jin, p-please save him,” you whispered frantically, looking up to his dark eyes with your pleading ones.

And so, Jin stood up slower, ran slower, and dove a little slower to save your father. No one would technically call him on his bullshit. After all, his parents saw him dove after their friend. You saw him with his own eyes how he dragged your unconscious, pale father from the pits of the cold lake.

You saw him.

“She’s so young to be an orphan. What a tragedy,” you heard them say as you stood stoically on the side. You had not said a word since your father was pronounced dead. They said you were in shocked. They said you were still processing what happened. They said you would be better in time.

But how would they know that?

You were grateful for the Kim family for taking care of everything; from the funeral to the papers, to taking you in. Even Seokjin filed a leave from the university to stay with you.

And he did stay with you. Right now, he was standing beside you, accepting condolences in behalf of you. He was a rock, just a rock that you didn’t want right now. A rock that you somehow selfishly associated with your father’s death.

He stayed with you even when you didn’t want him to.

You had not even looked at him since that tragedy. You knew it was wrong, you knew it was unfair for you to blame him. But were you wrong to blame him when you felt him hesitate? Had he moved a second sooner, would your father still be here? Would he be lying on the hospital bed instead of his coffin?

It was a month later and you still hadn’t said a word despite you going to therapy. It was a month of silence and of you acting like he wasn’t there, like he wasn’t waiting for you to look at him.

“Dear,” his mother called you one night, sitting you down on their living room. “We were thinking…we want to adopt you.”

If you were shocked, Jin was even more surprised. He didn’t know about this. How could his parents decided to do this? To do this to him?!

Your widened eyes looked up from your hands to them. Did they really mean that? Did that mean you weren’t going to be alone anymore? Were you going to have a family again?

“But only if you want to. There’s no rush, dear. Either way,” Mrs. Kim said gently, clasping your hands in hers, tears brimming in her eyes as she took in the pitiful you. “Either way, you’re already a daughter to me.”

“Thank you.” That was the first thing you said in a month. You were so happy. You were so thankful. You were about to hug her when Jin slammed his hand on the table.

“No!”

“Jin! Watch your tone-“

“No, father. I don’t want to be her brother! I don’t want her to be my sister!” He shouted, his voice extremely loud. And for the first time in a month, you looked at his eyes with your hurt ones. He couldn’t even bring himself to regret this. You didn’t know this now, you probably didn’t realize this right now but he was fighting for the future of the two of you. Why would you say thank you to his mother?! Weren’t you the one who kept on bugging him to marry him? Did you now change your mind? No. No, he wouldn’t let you. He didn’t do all of those things for you to change your mind now.

“I’ll never treat you like a sister, Y/N.”

You were turning sixteen when he let you go.

It was already way past your curfew when you arrived at Kim’s home. You were silently walking in the darkened room, certain that no one would catch you creeping in when all of a sudden, light from a lampshade flooded the room.

And there he was, sitting with his legs crossed, his face void of any emotion as he watched you.

“Princess,” he called you in a slurred voice. It was his voice that finally made you looked at him, to look at the boy you used to adore. It was apparent that he was drunk. His cheeks were tinted with redness, and his eyes were somehow unfocused.

You blinked as you took him in. “You’re drunk.”

“And you hate me. And it’s killing me,” he replied back softly, tears were quickly filling his eyes. He could not go on like this. You were killing him. He could not live another day with you being so close yet so far. At that point, he would do anything to get back the young girl who used to adore and support him. Jin stood up, shadows following his form as he neared you.

Had you not let him touched you that night, he would not agree with you leaving him.

But you did not step back when he caressed your face. You did not step back when he hugged you, his shoulders shaking as he sobbed.

“How can I make you love me again?”

“Let me go to America,” you replied calmly. You did want to go abroad, to leave all this mess behind. Had you father not died horribly, the two of you would have lived there by now. But Jin was preventing you from leaving with all his might. The influence he had in his parents was powerful, something that you did not consider. In your young mind, you knew leaving was the best course of action for you. South Korea was killing you. Living with him was killing you. Remembering that he saved you instead of your father despite your endless begging was killing you.

And you hating him because of that was killing him.

Jin towered over you as he leaned back to look at you, his eyes tired and sad. “And if I let you leave me, will you love me again?”

Your heart was beating fast. At that point, you would say anything to get away from him and the memories he represented.

“If I let you leave, my princess,” he whispered as he looked down at your lips. “If I let you leave me, do you promise to marry me when you get back?”

“Yes. I promise, Jin.”

It was your lie that cemented your future.

You were now twenty-five. Years passed by so fast. It was true was they said, time could heal wounds. The promise you made before was long gone from your mind. Your then young mind rationalized that Jin only acted that way because of guilt, that he only asked you to love him again because he was so used to you loving him that once you stopped, you shifted the orbit of his world. You hadn’t personally heard from him in almost nine years. As soon as you turned eighteen and no longer needed the Kim family as guardians, you cut off all communications from him. Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to distance yourself from Mrs. Kim. She was the mother you never had. But every time you called, Jin would even be more desperate for you. Even his mother was worried for her son, claiming that ever since you stopped communicating with the young man, he started becoming closed off. Every time you called his mother, Jin would snatch the phone away from her, yearning to just hear your voice so badly.

Seokjin was miserable. But his misery was not without anger. He resented the fact that he let you go, that he believed you when you said you would come back to him…that you would marry him.

He regretted letting you leave him. He swore that once he got you back, he would tie you to him so fast you wouldn’t be able to leave him again.

It had been almost a decade.

You weren’t living under the rock, no. To him, it was as though you disappeared from the face of the earth. It was difficult to find you in a foreign country even with his wealth and power. He didn’t know how you were right now. He didn’t know what you look like. He missed the years he could have spent with you. He missed you.

To you though, you could not escape him. His face was everywhere you looked, his life out there for everyone to see. It didn’t come as a surprise to you that he made something more out of himself. After all, ever since you were younger you thought he was larger than life. You were scared to see him in person, though.

You thought seeing him would bring back the pain you so desperately wanted to forget. Your therapist encouraged you to face your fears slowly, saying that you could see him without him seeing you.

You saw him once during their concert in America. Seokjin looked like a prince when you were a child. But now, he was like a king. His persona screamed elegance. He looked happier too as he danced and sang with his bandmates. It was apparent that life had been kind to him. You thought you could finish the whole concert without panicking, but Jin looked a little too long at your direction. And that was when you ran away.

“Do I really have to?” You asked you boss sheepishly, borderline on begging him not to send you back to that place.

He looked at you with an exasperated face, “Do you want to keep your job or not?”

“Right now…” you trailed off, your utter aversion of going back to South Korea was somehow outweighing your desire to eat and afford a roof on your head. “I’m not sure I want to.”

You sighed as you stepped out of the airport. Your company prepared ahead of time, arranging hotel for the whole month you would be staying in this country. You crafted a well-planned schedule which would take you around the pertinent parts of South Korea. You promised yourselves that you would be smart with your time so you could leave as soon as possible with the finished project your company sent you for.

You were expecting a calm and quiet first day.

You really were.

You were praying for that, in fact.

“I apologize, but our system cannot find your name.”

You flashed the hotel receptionist a tight smile, breathing deeply in an attempt to calm yourself. “Can you try one last time?”

She nodded reluctantly, but the result was the same. No room was booked under your name. You thanked her for her time before you attempted to call your boss to no avail. You knew it was probably due to timezone difference, but you couldn’t help but curse him in your head. You would so demand a raise once you get back. You tried booking at another hotel but weirdly enough, all of the rooms were already booked. You even tried booking for an airbnb but the ending was the same.

It was eventually seven in the evening when you swallowed your pride and called her. Mrs. Kim was elated that you were finally back, her motherly warmth could be felt despite her being out of the country at the moment for their anniversary. She did instruct you to go to a house that was an hour away from Seoul. She gave you the passcode and said she would see you as soon as she arrived back to South Korea. By the time you arrived at the white, modern house, it was already almost midnight. The jet lag and the timezone difference were starting to get to you that you decided to shower then sleep rather than touring the house. You would do that tomorrow.

But tomorrow was different.

For the first time in years, you slept so deeply. You had never felt rested since the day of the accident. But today, you felt so serene, so rested. It must have been the wondrous bed that lured you to sleep, or it must have been the extreme weariness from your travel. And probably, it must have been the warmth beside you, your cheek resting on a beating heart.

Wait.

What?

You opened your eyes in sudden alertness, all traces of sleep now gone from your body. The first thing you saw was a plain, white shirt and a pair of black shorts of whomever you were sleeping on top of. The shirt stretched out over a muscular chest and your mind was hopelessly telling you that he smelled familiar…

Slowly, as to not alert whoever this strange man was, you pushed your body away from the man you unknowingly made your bed. You felt his hand resting on the small of your back fell on the bed. With wide eyes and shallow breaths, you looked up at the face of the man you never thought you’d see again- only to find him already looking at you with hooded eyes.

Seokjin gazed at you with warmth, his plump lips lifting on the sides.

“Miss me, princess?”

Hiraeth II

[mins-fins]

★̲ YOU HAVE ONE NEW VOICEMAIL FROM . . . 나재민 !

SEPTEMBER 9, 00:22 AM

HI BABY!! okay um before you purge me and murder my entire family i'm sorry for not calling you yesterday.. it was after the first show and i was exhausted but anyway, how was the concert? did you enjoy it? do you think i did well? do you—[a small shout is heard from behind him] I AM NOT "WHIPPED" SHUT UP! ignore chenle he doesn't know what he's talking about, is it bad that i love my dear partner so much? he's just sad and lonely—AM NOT!— ARE TOO! STOP YELLING AT ME!! you're gonna come tomorrow right? if work doesn't keep you in that is, god i hate your job, and i miss you, i miss you so bad, it's going to be hard to do this when international tour dates start, all we have connecting us is some stupid phone..[another shout is heard from behind him] OKAY FINE! it's too late, we have to wake up early tomorrow, alright bye i love you! sleep well!

NOVEMBER 23, 22:45 PM

haechan totally tried to trip me on stage today, that little shit..anyway, hi baby!! sorry for the like— two calls every week but it's been so hard to find alone time for myself these days, i really like japan though, we should come here sometime for a trip! just me and you, maybe on one of my breaks, if i can even get one. i miss you, having jeno as company is beginning to get boring, i mean, i love jeno obviously but i see him every single day!! i'm literally about to go insane without you here, i'm about to pay for your flight here and make up some excuse to your manager about a family issue or something.. will they even believe that? i don't care, it's been a while since we went anywhere together, just the two of us, also, did i tell you your mom called me? apparently she really liked our performance, she called me to tell me about it!! anyway um, i have no time left, hope you have a good night, i love you!!

NOVEMBER 26, 02:09 AM

jeno snores way too loudly, so no sleep for me, and he also complains so much about everything so now i have to whisper for this, but anyway, i know you're probably asleep as well so it doesn't matter if i send this cause you'll see it in the morning but i don't care! whoops, right, whispering. i can't believe that you can't come to the shows, it's all sooooo boring without you. i always search for you in the audience but then i don't see you and i get upset, you being in the crowd would make everything much better, hopefully you can at find time to get here before the final japanese show this year.. is this corny? i don't think so, i just— i miss you, i say that all the time but i do, a lot. um yeah that's all, i should probably sleep now, i love you!

DECEMBER 2, 21:37 PM

I KNEW YOU HAD SOME STUPID PLAN! i can't believe i didn't even notice you sneaking up on me that was….. i can't start, i'll go on and on forever. how did you even get backstage? did you talk to mark or something? i don't know i guess i'm just— i'm just very surprised, you didn't even tell me anything! i'm not going to lie.. it was such a smart plan, i'm glad you were able to make it, seeing you again was so nice i almost cried having to let go of you, and yeah i tried to contain myself in front of the members but i couldn't, they had to get it though! because when you're partner is right there you can't just stand there and be normal, i did mean to trap you in that hug! god being able to wrap my arms around you again was so nice, you give such good hugs you know? i know you won't be here for long but let's make the most of our time together okay? i'm happy you're here, alright i have to go now, good night, i love you.

DECEMBER 10, 09:30 AM

hi hi!! happy to say that i will be back soon! don't be surprised if i just randomly show up in your house one day, world famous idol na jaemin in your kitchen, making himself some coffee, you might have a heart attack, i hope i don't scare you again, not like that one time after hot sauce promotions ended.. your face was hilarious, i'm sorry for that one baby, i was really just trying to surprise you.. anyway, tour picks back up in february, so we have time to be idiots and go on stupid dates, get chased down by the staff.. okay maybe not that, the last time they almost caught us was funny though. alright um— just wanted to tell you i'll be back soon! i'll make sure to pass by a convenience store and get you ice cream, and yes i'll remember to get cookie dough this time, still not sure what you have against strawberry..alright that's it! i'll see you soon, i love you!!

[strniohoeee]

hii can u please write a matt fic where reader is a singer(shes his gf already) and she had a show one day so when she performed he was there and like the choreography for one of the dances was very slutty(kinda like vigilante shit live performance by taylor swift)and then the night they are at home and they’re in bed matts like “u looked so fucking hot today doing that dance” and one thing leads to another and smutty smut smut happens totally fine if u dont like this idea love u💕

Remedy

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N is a singer and after a seductive performance Matt is left feeling some type of way. Will he act on these urges??🌑

Warnings⚠️: SMUTTTTT. Mirror sex, slight choking, matt being a little slutttt, and that’s about all. Enjoyyyy teehee🤭

Song for the imagine: Novacane- Frank Ocean

⚠️This is an 18+ imagine, so minors do not interact, or do??⚠️

But there's no drug around

Quite like what I found in you, you

I loved singing and I was so fortunate enough to be Matt’s girlfriend because he knew people and was able to get me gigs. I was so fucking thankful for him because without him I would still be singing in my room and posting it to YouTube.

Tonight I actually had a show for this talent show type of thing in town. It was a pretty big event, but also a talent show designed by people who are looking to scout out the next Ariana Grande. I was super grateful that Matt was able to pull some strings and get me in. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to be this huge famous singer, but to catch the eyes of people who could make me famous, and just get my name out there a little more did sound appealing.

I was super excited to perform this set because I was able to get a few backup dancers and come up with a seductive and powerful dance. I actually was so excited to step outside of my comfort zone and perform something totally different.

Currently I was getting ready with my backup dancers waiting to be called next, and I was so fucking nervous I mean I never did anything like this, and to have Matt, Chris and Nick all watching formed a pit in my stomach.

Not to mention this was my first time dancing on stage in front of a bunch of people in heels….. I was so fucking scared. We wore black blazers with black lingerie under, fishnet stockings and red heels. This was all so new to me I felt like throwing up. I’ve never worn anything like this publically. But I decided to shake it off, and get ready.

My group and I were the last ones on stage, and we decided they would walk out first, and then me. I looked onto the stage and saw the props being set up, black chairs where we would basically be doing lap dances on. God why did I want to throw up so much? I think it was the fact that Matt and his brothers were front row…

They called out my name, and my girls walked out first sitting the chairs with their legs crossed. I took one last deep breath before walking out and standing sitting in my chair. Suddenly the lights when up on us, and the song started playing

“I bust the windows out your car, and no it didn’t mend my broken heart” I sang out looking up

“I’ll probably always have these ugly scars, but right now. i don’t care about that part” I sang slowly getting up from my chair

I kept singing as I slowly unbuttoned my blazer. Earning cheers from the crowd

I slowly walked to my chair standing behind it “You see you can’t just play with peoples feelings” I sang as I seductively ran my hand down the front of the chair

“Tell them you love them, and don’t mean it” I sang walking to the front of chair

Slowly I turned around bending over slightly to show my ass as I sat down on the chair, giving my back to the crowd.

“You’ll probably say that it was juvenile, but I think that I deserve to smile” I sang running my hand through my hair

Two of my backup dancers came over helping me out of my blazer. Allowing my half naked body to be on display

I leaned back showcasing my neck and half covered breast to the crowd

“I bust the windows out your car, You know I did cause i left my mark” I sang slowly coming back up

I turned over continuing to sing as I ran my hands over my body, spreading my legs and leaning forward. Locking eyes with Matt in the crowd

My backup dancers came over to me running their hands all over my body as I rolled my neck back as I sang.

As I sang we started to dance swaying our bodies, grabbing onto each other. They circled me before getting down on their knees raking their hands up my legs and to my ass

“You could never feel how I felt that day. Until that happens baby you don’t know pain” I sang as we did our next move which was laying on the floor with our legs spread open, and then putting our right left over the left and turning us over. Lifting our ass off the floor slowly as I continued to sing.

“You broke my heart, so I broke your car” I sang slowly getting up and running my hands up my body

“You caused me pain, so I did the same” I sang as we swayed our hips to the beat

We were nearing the end of the performance, and I never felt more powerful than now.

As I sang the last part I seductively walked over to my chair sitting down, and one of my dancers came over sitting on my lap as I ran my hands up her body.

“Now watch, I bust the windows out your car” I sang before the song ended

Everyone was standing up cheering and clapping and whistling at us. We all got up bowing and waving at everyone blowing kisses before we ran off stage.

“HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AMAZING GUYS” I said to my girls

“Dude we fucking killed it” they said as we tried to catch our breath

“I’m so proud of you guys for killing it tonight” I said pulling them into a group hug

We all changed into our regular clothes, saying our goodbyes and heading out. I met Matt and his brothers outside.

“Babyyyyy you fucking did amazing holy shit” Matt said smiling at me and pulling me in for a hug

“Thank you baby” I said kissing him

“Y/N you fucking ate that shit up, I would’ve never thought you were like that” Nick said hugging me too

“I was so nervous I didn’t think I had that in me either” I said laughing

“Yeah I almost felt like I wasn’t supposed to see some of those moves” Chris said laughing and hugging me

“Stoppp thank you guys” I said laughing

We headed out to have a celebratory dinner before heading back home.

When we got back to the triplets house I decided to shower and change into some pajamas before heading to Matt’s bed.

“Thank you for coming tonight” I said to Matt as I snuggled up to him

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world” he said winking at me

“You’re too good to me” I said kissing him

“My sexy girlfriend singing and dancing, how could I not be front row” he said smiling into the kiss

“You’re making me blush” I said smacking his chest playfully

“That dance was so fucking hot, and that outfit whewww could’ve sworn I got hard” he said in a whisper

“Oh yeah?” I asked smirking at him

“Might have to buy you more lingerie and fishnets now” he said licking his lips

“You dirty boy” I said to him

He glanced at me before pulling me in to smash our lips together. A heated kiss full of tongue and clashing teeth. So needy and hungry….fuck I needed Matt now

He pulled me on top of him, deepening our kiss as he ran his hands down my back and to my ass, gripping.

“God you drive me crazy” he said pulling away and running his tongue along his teeth

“I need you like now” I said running my fingers along his face

“Me too” he said his pupil dilated

I lifted up pulling my shirt off exposing my chest to Matt as I leaned forward smashing our lips together again. Running my hands up Matt’s shirt causing him to shiver.

I moved my kisses to his jawline, and then down to his neck. Peppering kisses down his neck causing him to moan

“Feeling good Matty?” I asked looking up at him

“Always” he said breathlessly

Matt lifted up to remove his shirt

“I love your tattooed arm” I said running my hands along his arm looking over at him to see him already staring at me

“Yeah?” He asked his chest rising up and down

“So so hot…maybe you can fuck me with your arm around my neck” I said winking at him

His eyes widen before his cheeks redden a bit.

I lean back down as I kiss him again, our chests touching making my skin burn and my heart flutter with desire.

I slid off of Matt to take my underwear off, he took off his pajama pants as well along with his underwear. When I looked over to him he was looking over at the mirror that’s diagonal from his bed.

I smirked, and looked at him

“Want to fuck me infront of the mirror pretty boy?” I asked

“If you want me to” he said looking over at me

“I want nothing more” I said

He pulled me back on top of him continuing to kiss him

I slowly started to grind on his dick allowing my arousal to cover him

“Mmm keep doing that and I’ll cum” he said looking down in between us

I moaned at his words and the feeling of his thick cock hitting my clit. I shuddered around him

“Gonna let me fuck that pretty pussy go yours?” He asked running his hands up my body

“Please” I mewled out

Matt lifted up slowly allowing me to fall back as he leaned over, wrapping his hand around my neck as he kissed me. Using that same same hand to turn my head as he kissed down my neck to my chest and down the valley of my breasts

From the valley of my breast he licked his way up back to my mouth where we made out

“I can’t hold out any longer” he said pulling

“Fuck me Matt” I croaked out

Matt lifted me up and brought me to the corner of his bed facing towards the mirror

“You get to watch me fuck you dumb” he said running his hand down my back and smacking my ass

“Oh Matt” I moaned out

He massaged my ass looking into my eyes through the mirror. He licked his lips before bringing his dick to my entrance slowly sliding into me

I let my mouth fall open as I gripped the sheets. Matt stretched me out so good everytime we fucked it made my head dizzy.

“So tight” he said bottoming out as he let his head roll back

“Fuck Matt you feel so good” I moaned out

Slowly he started to thrust into me, deep and harder. Our moans filling the room as he fucked into me

Matt gripped my waist as he fucked me causing me to fall more limp into the bed as I watched him in the mirror.

Matt’s mouth was hung open as he grunted into me, looking over at me in the mirror as his cold eyes laid on mine. Causing me to clench down on him, my stomach burning with arousal

“Shitttttt” I moaned out gripping the sheets harder

Matt kept pounding into me as he smacked my ass occasionally. I was just watching him as moans and pants fell out. My mouth hung up as I started to drool on the sheets.

“Am I fucking you dumb?” He asked licking his lips

“Y-Yes” I moaned out shutting my eyes as he started to drill into me even faster

Matt lifted me up by my hair causing me to gasp

“Look at yourself, making a mess on my cock” he said whispering into my ear as he looked into my eyes through the mirror

“Fuck Matt” I moaned out letting my head fall forward slightly as my mouth hung open

Matt pulled me back wrapping his tattooed arm around my neck as he pounded into me

“MATTT” I moaned out at the new feeling

“I’m giving you your wishes” he grunted out

His dick hitting all the right places, and I was pure puddy in his arms

“I get to watch you take my cock like a good slut and your perfect tits bounce in the mirror” he said grabbing my right breast and squeezing

“I’m going to cum” I moaned out letting my head fall forward slightly

“Me too baby, come on give it to me. I’m begging for it pretty girl” he said into my ear

Matt’s hips were snapping into me in such a delicious way, my mouth fell slack and I started to drool on his arm.

“Drooling on me now are we? Am I fucking you that good?” He asked biting his lip

“Fuck Matt…YES YES SO GOOD” I moaned out as he brought his other hand down to rub my clit

“Come on baby cum on my cock” he said rubbing faster

“Fuckkkkk” I moaned out started to quiver against him

“Give it to me I know you can” he said

“I- I’m- I’m gonna cum” I stuttered out

My mouth fell slack as I clenched down onto Matt. My orgasm washing over me as I shook on Matt’s cock. My thighs shaking and giving out on me

“Fuck Matt oh my god” I said breathing heavily as I looked at him through the mirror

“I’m gonna cum baby” he said moaning into my ear

He let me lean forward as he pulled out stroking his dick before letting his jaw fall slack. His lower abdomen began to quiver as he came on my ass

“Fuckkk y/n” he moaned out as he shuddered

He looked at me through the mirror trying to catch his breath.

“You look so fucking sexy like this” he said licking his lips

“Fuck Matt I love you so much” I said blissed out

“I love you so much too” he said

Matt got off the bed grabbing a warm towel and cleaning me up. Before helping me off the bed.

“Let’s shower” he said helping me to his bathroom

Matt and I showered, and then got out. We decided to have a snack before heading back to his room to watch a movie. We eventually dozed off in each others arms.

The End

I know I said I wasn’t in the mood to write,but suddenly I got in the mood. So I hope you enjoyed this one. As much as I did🤭🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[xhoess]

Rivals in the Spotlight

Yunho!dancer × fem!bod singer

Masterlist

Y/N is a passionate singer determined to secure a scholarship, often feeling overshadowed at her performing arts school by Yunho, a confident and popular dancer, dreams of becoming a professional dancer while managing the pressure from his family's legacy. When they are cast as the leads in the school's musical, their well-known rivalry escalates, leading to strong disagreements in during the rehearsals. Will they get over their little rivalry and put up a good show?

Wc: I think around 4k

Genre: enemies to lovers, smut, fluff

It is 8 am, and I am currently riding the bus to school. Today is the day I find out who will get the leads in the new school play. I don’t know a lot of people who are participating, but I definitely know one person: Jeong Yunho. That son of a bitch always knows how to get on my nerves, especially when I’m already in my worst mood.

I feel stupid writing this down, but I’ve been doing this for so long that I feel the need to keep this stupid diary updated. Even though it’s 40 percent me complaining about Yunho, it still is a good way to express myself, I think? I look out the bus window as the familiar scenery of my neighborhood blurs past. My thoughts keep circling back to the audition. What if I actually get the lead? What if Yunho gets it too?

As I walk into the school, I feel eyes burning into my back. That only means one thing: the names are out. My heart races as I rush to the performing arts hallway. A group of people is gathering around a piece of paper on the wall. Yunho is there too. Of course.

I push through the crowd, my palms sweating. I quickly find myself standing in front of the paper, and now I get why people have been staring. Me and Yunho need to play the two leads in the play. The worst part is that we need to play a couple. I play Alice, the female lead and yunho plays Jay the male lead.

"No fucking way... I thought you would be a background singer or something," Yunho says, standing next to me, also staring at the paper.

"Shut up, Yunho. You’re as tall as a tree, might as well play one," I snap before walking away.

The rest of the day, I try my best to avoid talking to people and head straight home after school. My best friend Rina calls me as soon as I get home.

"Can you believe this?" I vent, flopping onto my bed. "Of all people, I have to play opposite Yunho. This is a nightmare."

"Maybe you can be so miserable to him that he’ll quit," Rina suggests.

"I wish," I sigh. "But he’s way too competitive to just quit."

The next morning, I wake up with a knot in my stomach. I can't avoid Yunho forever. Rehearsals start today. I arrive at the auditorium early, hoping to get a moment alone before the chaos begins. The large, empty space feels oddly comforting. I stand on the stage, looking out at the rows of empty seats, trying to imagine myself performing without wanting to throw up.

Suddenly, I hear footsteps behind me. I turn around to see Yunho walking towards me, his usual smirk replaced with a more serious expression.

"Hey," he says, surprisingly without a hint of sarcasm. "We need to talk."

I cross my arms defensively. "About what?"

"Look, I know we don't get along, but we have to make this work for the play's sake. It’s important to both of us, right?" His voice is calm, almost sincere.

I’m taken aback by his change in tone. "Yeah, I guess."

"Let’s just try to keep it professional," Yunho suggests. "We can hate each other offstage, but when we’re up here, we need to be convincing."

I nod, still wary. "Fine. But don’t think this means I’m going to make it easy for you."

He chuckles. "Wouldn’t expect anything less."

The sun is setting, casting long shadows through the tall windows of the rehearsal room. Once everyone is ready for rehearsal we start. Because this is the first rehearsal we only needed to learn the first few pages.

I see yunho get in character and that reminded me that we are going to be lovers in the end of the play.

"Okay everyone, get in place for the first scene" the director said.

I stand across from yunho and did some last warming up.

"3.. 2.. 1.... and go!"

"Alice did you hear what happened" yunho says.

The rehearsals go on for a little more, but I keep forgetting a few words in some sentences. I can feel the tension growing.

"Buy Jay, you never know what happens when you say no" I say, I realize the sentence is wrong. And yunho does too.

"You're impossible, you know that?" Yunho snaps, slamming his script onto a nearby table. "Do you even care about this play?"

I cross my arms, matching his glare. "Of course I care! But you’re not the director, Yunho. Stop acting like you know everything and let's just continue"

He steps closer, his eyes blazing with frustration. "Someone has to take charge when you keep messing up your lines!"

My fists clench at my sides. "I wouldn’t mess up if you weren’t constantly trying to outdo everyone. This isn’t a solo performance, Yunho. It’s a team effort."

Yunho scoffs, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "You just can’t handle that I’m better at this than you."

"Better?" I laugh bitterly. "Your ego is so big, I’m surprised you can fit through the door."

He narrows his eyes, his jaw tightening. "At least I put in the effort. All you do is complain and act like a victim."

My blood boils, and I take a step forward, refusing to back down. "You think you’re so perfect, don’t you? Always criticizing everyone else to make yourself look good."

"Maybe if you spent less time whining and more time practicing, we wouldn’t have these problems," he shoots back.

I feel my face flush with anger. "You’re such a jerk, Yunho. No wonder no one likes working with you."

For a moment, there’s silence, the words hanging heavily in the air. Yunho’s expression falters slightly, a flicker of hurt crossing his face before it hardens again.

"You don’t know anything about me," he says quietly, his voice trembling with barely controlled rage. "You’re so wrapped up in your own little world, you can’t see past your own nose."

I open my mouth to retort, but the words catch in my throat. We stand there, breathing heavily, the room suddenly feeling too small, too stifling.

Finally, Yunho breaks the silence, his voice cold. "If you can’t handle this, maybe you should quit."

I swallow hard, the lump in my throat making it difficult to speak. "Maybe I will," I manage to say, my voice shaking. "At least then I wouldn’t have to deal with you."

We stare at each other for a moment longer before I turn on my heel and storm out of the room, slamming the door behind me. My heart is pounding, a mix of anger and something else I can’t quite name. As I walk down the empty hallway, I can’t help but wonder if things will ever get better between us.

Yunho is left there standing, regretting some words he said.

The cool evening air hits my face as I storm out of the auditorium, my anger still simmering beneath the surface. I find a bench near the entrance and collapse onto it, trying to catch my breath. The sky is tinged with the pinks and purples of twilight, but I’m too wrapped up in my thoughts to appreciate the beauty.

"Why does he have to be such a jerk?" I mutter to myself, kicking a small pebble with my shoe.

My phone buzzes in my pocket. It’s a message from Rina.

**Rina:** Hey, how did rehearsal go? Any updates?

I hesitate before replying, not sure how to put my frustration into words.

**Me:** It was a disaster. Yunho and I had a huge fight. Again.

Her response is almost immediate.

**Rina:** Ugh, that sucks. Want to talk about it?

**Me:** Maybe later. I just need to cool down right now.

**Rina:** Okay, just remember, you’re amazing and you can handle this. Don’t let him get to you.

I smile slightly at her words, feeling a bit better. Rina always knows how to make me feel better.

The next day:

The cafeteria is buzzing with activity as I navigate my way through the crowd, holding my lunch tray. I spot Rina at our usual table and make my way over, sliding into the seat across from her.

"Hey," she says, giving me a sympathetic look. "You look exhausted."

I sigh, poking at my food. "Didn’t sleep much. Just kept thinking about everything that happened."

She nods, taking a bite of her sandwich. "Yunho really knows how to push your buttons, huh?"

"Yeah," I agree, feeling the frustration bubble up again. "I don’t get it. One minute he’s trying to be all professional, and the next he’s tearing me down."

"Maybe he’s just stressed," Rina suggests. "This play is a big deal for everyone."

"Maybe," I concede, but it doesn’t make me feel any better. "But it’s like he enjoys making me miserable."

Before Rina can respond, I hear a familiar voice behind me.

"Can we talk?"

I turn to see Yunho standing there, looking unusually serious. Rina raises an eyebrow, but I nod, getting up from the table. We move to a quieter corner of the cafeteria.

"What do you want, Yunho?" I ask, crossing my arms defensively.

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Look, about yesterday... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for things to get so heated."

I blink, taken aback. This is not the Yunho I’m used to. "You’re... apologizing?"

"Yeah," he says, looking genuinely uncomfortable. "I’ve been thinking about what you said, and you’re right. I’ve been acting like a jerk."

I stare at him, trying to process this unexpected turn of events. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

He shrugs, looking away. "I guess I realized that we’re stuck with each other for this play, and if we keep fighting, it’s going to ruin everything. For both of us."

His words make sense, but it’s hard to let go of the anger so quickly. "So, what do you suggest?"

"Truce?" he offers, holding out his hand. "Let’s try to make this work. For the sake of the play."

I hesitate for a moment before shaking his hand. "Truce."

At the Rehearsal Room, Late Afternoon:

Back in the rehearsal room, there’s a noticeable shift in the atmosphere. Yunho and I still have our differences, but we’re making an effort to be civil. Our scenes start to flow better, the tension easing with each passing day.

One evening, after a particularly grueling rehearsal, I find myself sitting on the edge of the stage next to Yunho. We’re both exhausted but there’s a sense of accomplishment in the air.

"You know," I say, breaking the comfortable silence, "I never thought I’d say this, but we’re actually doing pretty well."

Yunho smiles, a genuine one this time. "Yeah, who would’ve thought?"

This new feeling was brewing in my chest, it wasn't hatred, it was far from that.

"You know I never meant to be harsh the other day" yunho says, looking down at his shoes that are hanging off the side of the stage.

"Its okay, I said some mean stuff to you too." You lift your shoulders a little while saying. "I really need this play to go well so I can have a higher chance of getting a scholarship. That's why I was getting pissed off by you" I say.

"My parents always expect the best of me, just because they were the best in their days doesn't mean I am. I guess that's why I got so angry at you for saying I wasn't a team player." Yunho sighs ".. I really try to be but sometimes my parents just get into my head and make me forget this is not a contest"

I frown at his story, it's sad that he can't express his passion the way he wants.

I stand up and hold my hand out for yunho. He looks up confused but grabs it, I pull him up and say "you need to enjoy this yunho, talk to your parents about it. It is your life and it should be fun while you're here" I say with a soft voice, not realizing that our hands are still together.

He suddenly pulls me into a hug which caught me off guard. "Thank you y/n. You're not so bad after all" I hear him whisper.

The morning of the play:

"Ahh! How are you feeling? Today’s the day!" Rina exclaims, practically bouncing with excitement as she walks next to me.

I can’t help but smile at her enthusiasm. "I’m feeling really good about all this. Not only will this improve my chances of getting a scholarship, but it’s also helped Yunho and me forgive each other."

We turn a corner, and my heart skips a beat when I see Yunho standing there, talking to one of his friends. I’m about to wave when I catch his words.

"I don't know, man. She is so annoying. I can't handle it any longer. I'm happy this act is all over after tonight."

His words hit me like a punch to the gut. Tears well up in my eyes. How could he say that after everything we’ve been through? After the connection we shared the other night?

Rina notices my change in demeanor immediately. "What’s wrong?"

I swallow hard, trying to keep my voice steady. "I just heard Yunho saying he can't stand me and he's glad this is all over after tonight."

Rina's eyes widen in shock, then narrow in anger. "What? That can’t be right. That son of a bitch"

I nod, biting my lip to keep from crying. "I don’t know if I can go through with this tonight, acting like everything is fine. This play has done nothing but be stressfull, I'm done"

Rina takes my hand, her grip firm and comforting. "Listen, I know this hurts, but quitting now isn’t the answer. You’ve worked too hard to let this ruin it. Just hold on a little longer, don't say or do anything you will regret later" she said "I'll be right back just don't do anything okay?"

I nod, trying to take comfort in her words, but the ache in my chest remains. I steal another glance at Yunho, who’s laughing at something his friend said

Later that day in the school's hallway:

“That jerk,” she mutters, clenching her fists. “I can’t believe he said that about you after everything you two have been through.”

I shrug, trying to act indifferent, but the hurt is clear in my eyes. “It’s fine, Rina. Let’s just get through tonight.”

“No, it’s not fine,” she snaps, standing up abruptly.

Before I can stop her, Rina storms across the hallway, heading straight for Yunho. My heart races, and I quickly follow her, catching snippets of her angry muttering.

“Rina, wait!” I call out, but she’s already reached Yunho and his group.

“Hey, Yunho!” Rina’s voice cuts through the chatter, silencing the group. Yunho looks up, surprised.

“Rina? What’s up?”

“What’s up?” she repeats, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’ll tell you what’s up. How dare you talk about Y/N like that behind her back?”

Yunho’s brows furrow in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb,” Rina spits, crossing her arms. “Y/N heard you this morning, calling her annoying and saying you’re glad this is all over after tonight. How could you, after everything you two have been through?”

Yunho’s face pales, realization dawning on him. “Wait, that’s not what I—”

“Oh, save it!” Rina cuts him off, her anger palpable. “She thought you were friends, that you understood each other. But you’re just a two-faced jerk!”

By now, a small crowd has gathered, watching the confrontation unfold. I feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment and hurt, but I don’t stop Rina. She’s saying everything I wish I had the courage to say.

“Rina, please,” Yunho tries again, his voice pleading. “You’ve got it all wrong. I wasn’t talking about Y/N like that.”

“Then who were you talking about?” Rina demands, her eyes blazing.

Yunho takes a deep breath, looking around at the crowd before focusing on Rina. “I was talking about the director, I was talking to my friend about how I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by her, she has been on my toes the last few rehearsals. And plus if I had to say something mean to y/n I would just say it to hee face, I've done it the last few years.”

Rina’s anger falters, a flicker of uncertainty crossing her face "Oh, well this is awkward" she said while laughing awkwardly.

That evening:

A buzz of excitement fills the air as students, teachers, and parents take their seats in the auditorium. Backstage, the cast is a whirlwind of activity, making final adjustments to costumes and props. My heart pounds in my chest, a mix of nerves and exhilaration. I peek through the curtain and see the audience settling in. This is it. Months of hard work, late nights, and overcoming differences have led to this moment.

Yunho stands next to me, adjusting his costume. He looks at me and smiles, a warm, genuine smile that sends a flutter through my stomach. "You ready?"

I nod, trying to steady my breath. "Ready as I'll ever be."

The romance scene is next up —the moment where our characters, after a series of misunderstandings and conflicts, finally confess their love. The lines have become second nature, but tonight, something feels different. There's an electricity in the air, a deeper connection that wasn’t there during rehearsals.

As Yunho and I move through our lines, the world around us fades away. It's just the two of us on stage, our characters’ emotions mirroring our own unspoken feelings. Yunho steps closer, his character's confession blending seamlessly with his own emotions.

"I've been thinking a lot about us," he says, his voice steady but filled with emotion. "And I realized something important. I can't imagine my life without you."

My heart races as I respond, my own feelings bubbling to the surface. "I feel the same way. You’ve challenged me, pushed me, and made me better. I’ve never felt this way before."

Yunho takes my hand, and the touch sends a spark through me. He looks into my eyes, and for a moment, it’s as if time stands still. "I love you," he says, I know it's just his character speaking. But it's feels a little too real.

Tears well up in my eyes, and I whisper, "I love you too."

The curtain falls, and the audience erupts into applause. We take our bows, the adrenaline still coursing through our veins. Backstage, the cast congratulates each other, but all I can think about is Yunho.

I find him in a quiet corner, away from the chaos. He looks up as I approach, a soft smile on his face "hey"

"Hey" I reply

"That was... incredible" He says, stepping closer.

I could smell his perfume, he was standing so close. It made My heart beat a lot faster. "It really was..."

He looks down and meet my eyes, we don't say anything but we both feel what's about to come. "Would you like to go somewhere private..?" He asks, his voice low.

I nod, "I would like that"

He grabs my hand and we walk towards the drama room. The place where it all began. The room is quiet and dark, the only source of light is the moonlight that is shining through the tall windows.

Yunho closes the door behind us, and the click of the lock seems to tighten the tension even more. We stand there for a moment, just looking at each other in silence.

He moves closer, his hand moving away a piece of my hair.

His lips meet mine, it starts of soft but quickly deepens. His arms wrap around me, pulling me closer until there is no more space left between us.

We pull away, stading there breathlessly. And yunhos eyes search mine. A silent question hanging in the air. I nod, giving him my answer without him having to ask it.

He leads me to the small couch in to corner of the room, we sink down on soft cushions, his hands move gently over the curves of my body. I lay one of my hands on his bicep, he tenses up under my touch and his muscles tighten.

Yunho reconnects the kiss again, this time it's with hunger and passion. He slowly slides his hand under my shirt, cupping one of my breasts. The warmth of his hand tingling on my skin.

I gasp when he pulls my shirt over my head and throws it on the floor. Exposing me to the cool air. He lowers his head and starts to kiss me all over my body "you're so beautiful" He murmurs against my skin.

I blush, my hands start to unbutton his shirt revealing his chest. He shrugs himself out of the fabric and I move my hands over his skin.

We're now left in our underwear, Yunho's hand moves down, his fingers teasing the edge of my panties before slipping under the material. When his finger enters me, a groan escapes my lips, muffled by our kiss.

He takes my reaction as encouragement, adding another finger and moving in and out in a steady movement. The sensation of his fingers moving in and out of me sends waves of pleasure through my body, and I arch my back, pressing closer to him.

"Yunho," I whisper, my voice breathy and filled with need.

He breaks the kiss, his eyes locking onto mine, dark with desire. "Does this feel good?" he asks, his voice husky.

"Yes," I moan, my hands gripping his shoulders for support.

Yunho's free hand trails up my side, his touch light and teasing. He kisses a path down my neck, his lips leaving a burning trail on my skin. As his fingers continue their rhythm, he takes one of my nipples into his mouth, his tongue swirling around it. The combined sensations are almost too much, and I gasp, my fingers digging into his shoulders.

"Yunho, I need you," I manage to say between ragged breaths.

He looks up at me, his expression a mix of tenderness and desire. "I need you too," he whispers.

With a final, lingering kiss, he pulls his fingers out and helps me out of the last of our clothing. We pause for a moment, just taking in the sight of each other, the intimacy of the moment deepening our connection.

Yunho gently lays me back on the couch, positioning himself above me. He takes a condom from his wallet, and with a quick, practiced motion, he rolls it on. His eyes meet mine, seeking one last confirmation.

I nod, my heart pounding with a mix of nerves and anticipation. "I'm ready."

He aligns himself with me, and as he slowly enters, we both gasp at the sensation. He moves with care, giving us both time to adjust. Once he’s fully inside, he pauses, our foreheads touching as we share a moment of stillness

Yunho starts to move, it's slow at first but once I wrapped my legs around his waist he couldn't hold back any longer. A groan escaped from his lips and he fastened his pace.

His hands roam over my body, caressing and teasing, driving me closer to the edge. I can feel the tension building, the knot tightening inside of me.

"Yunho I'm close" I whisper against his neck.

"Me too" He says, his voice strained with his pleasure.

The sound of our breathing is getting heavier and faster. With a final trust I feel a wave of pleasure wash over me, yunho throws his head back when he feels my juices spilling over his cock. That is enough to send him over the edge too. Our moans filling the silent room.

We collapse together, yunho holds me close. His breath warm against my skin as we come down from the high.

"I think I like you y/n" yunho said, pressing a soft kiss against my forehead.

"I like you too yunho" I whisper back.

We lie there for a little longer, wrapped in each other's arms. And that's when I realized that this moment was the beginning of something beautiful.

[lucidlivi]

Chosen For Pleasure (I)

Series Masterlist/Warnings

"Actor turned business billionaire Jensen Ackles, is set to open up a new ale house here in Laredo Texas today. Plenty of stars are set to be in attendance including Ackles ex co-star and best friend Jared Padalecki. It should be a packed event!"

I listened to the reporter on the television as I adjusted the camera strap around my neck. I bit my lip as my bosses words replayed in my head.

"I really need you on this (y/n), get the picture for the magazine, and maybe we'll talk about a promotion."

I worked for a local magazine as a photographer, it wasn't my dream job by any means but it was a start. My boss Gray had connections, so if I impressed him, i'd have a better shot at getting my photographs seen by more people.

I was supposed to go to the grand opening of the new ale house by Jensen Ackles to get a picture of the ribbon cutting.

I don't know why I was so nervous, maybe because my boss made it seem as if my job depended on getting this picture.

Maybe it did.

"ugh you look gorgeous, I wish I could go with you." my roommate Stella said leaning against the door frame.

"I wish you were going too." I murmur giving her a small smile.

"here's the questions, even if you could just get him to answer one!" she said handing me a list of prepared questions for Jensen.

"I can't promise anything Stell, there will probably be hundreds of reporters there, I don't even know how I'll get a good picture. Gray will have my neck if I don't pull this off." I sighed nervously.

"everything will be fine, you always make it happen, now go out there and take a picture of that beautiful man." she cheered pushing me towards the door.

"oh an (y/n/n) try to smile, you look better when you smile." she added.

I rolled my eyes tucking her list in my jacket pocket and walking out the door with a wave. It was a quick drive to the new ale house location, this was Jensen's fourth grand opening after all so he knew all about the prime locations for business.

I gasped as I pulled up to the spot, there were thousands of people waiting. I saw a lot of people in supernatural shirts proclaiming their love for Dean Winchester.

Damn these fans sure are dedicated.

I grabbed my media badge, making sure I had everything. I walked over to an area roped off with a velvet rope, this was where the media usually stands.

I glanced up seeing the overwhelming number of reporters and photographers. There was a make shift stage where Jensen would come out and give a few words before cutting the ribbon.

"uh hi, I'm (F/N L/N) for Texas Monthly." I said to the security guard showing him my press badge.

"of course Ms. (L/N), right this way."

I'm led behind the rope with the hundreds of other media workers.

Great, I couldn't see a thing.

I wasn't the tallest, standing 5"3 on a good day. I really needed this picture. I took a deep breath. I was just going to have to push my way through. I sighed as I started to forcefully push my way through the crowded bodies. I uttered apologies as people gave me dirty looks.

It finally got to where I could push no more. I was closer to the front but still a ways away. There was no way I was getting a good picture now. I blew a piece of stray hair that had fallen in my face when there was a clearing of a mic sound, followed by the girls in the crowd delivering ear splitting screams. I stood on my tippy toes and looked up at the stage.

Jensen Ackles walked over to the microphone standing clad in a black suit and a tie. He smiled showing his perfect teeth. He waved his hand at the screaming girls.

"holy.." I stared to say looking up at him.

I've seen pictures of him of course, but up close he looked even more mesmerizing, if that were remotely possible. His eyes were dark as he scanned the crowd. His jaw clenched looking as if the heavens chiseled it out of stone. He was intimidatingly tall, with muscles being accentuated by his suit jacket. He was undeniably gorgeous.

"thank you, thank you all." He said waiting for the screams to die down.

It just made the girls scream more. Hs voice was raspy, it dripped of sex appeal.

"I appreciate everyone coming today. I'm so grateful to be opening my fourth ale house in beautiful Laredo. I've always been a connoisseur of whiskey and rum, and I've been blessed to be able to work with some incredibly talented people and make my own. What started out as a hobby has now grown in to a full blown business and I couldn't be more grateful for each and every one of you that helps this business thrive. I'm not really a man for speeches so with that being said I officially declare Ackles Ale House open!" He says cutting the ribbon.

I sucked in a sharp breath, and started to panic. I was so focused on listening to his voice, I completely forgot the entire reason I came here! I brought the camera lens up to my eye trying to get a good shot. It was impossible as there were too many people in the way.

I started snapping, praying to the heavens that there was something front page worthy in the mix. Jensen smiled as the reporters started raising their hands for questions. I dug in my pocket for Stellas list but my hands were shaking too much I ended up dropping it on the dirt below.

Shit.

I bent over quickly to pick it up.

"I apologize but Mr. Ackles isn't taking questions at this time." A voice said making people groan in displeasure.

I grabbed the paper rising. As I did I saw Jensen walking past the rope that held the media. It was like something ignited in them. Everyone started pushing closer trying to get that perfect picture, or a quote from the man himself even though it was just said he didn't want to answer questions.

I grabbed on to my camera as elbows flew into my sides and people pushed against my back. I felt my breath get caught in my throat. I didn't like crowds to begin with, and people pushing in to me was too much. A particularly large man pushed against my side causing me to trip over and fall head first into the dirt. I tried to stand up but people were too busy pushing that nobody had noticed I was down here. I covered my head worried I was going to get trampled by media reporters.

"HEY GET BACK, EVERYONE GET BACK." I heard a gruff voice call loudly over the shouting fans and reporters.

I felt a relief in pressure as the bodies move away from me quickly. I uncovered my head and saw a hand being offered out to me. I looked up and was met with piercing green eyes, eyes that belonged to a Mr. Jensen Ackles. I gulped as I looked at his extended hand. No way was he in front of me right now.

"are you okay?" He asked.

I stared at him wide eyed, somehow his voice sounded even sexier when it was talking to me. I grabbed his hand giving him a slight nervous nod. He pulled me to my feet as if I were weightless.

"no you're not, your head is bleeding."

He put his hand on my face and with his thumb stroked a spot on my forehead. I winced in pain. I must've cut my head when I fell. It was just my luck that I would look incredibly stupid in front of him. I could hear cameras snapping as he looked at me. I prayed to god this didn't end up on any front pages I was embarrassed enough already. I realized I still hadn't said anything and was just awkwardly staring at him.

"I'm sure it's okay." I quietly murmur wiping my sleeve against my head.

I looked down seeing a little red stain.

"come on, let's get you some help." He smiled.

He grabbed my hand pulling me through the crowd of people and under the rope that was now being held up by his security guards. I could hear people gossiping but I was too focused on his large hand engulfing my small one. I felt my mouth go bone dry as he pulled me inside the ale house that had yet to let patrons in.

"Sit." He instructed pulling out a bar stool for me to sit on.

He disappeared somewhere else in the pub. I took the opportunity to look around. It was beautiful in here. The decor was nice but not too flashy. He reappeared quickly with a first aide kit in hand.

"I'm sorry about that, people can get kind of crazy." He said opening the kit.

I watched his hands work delicately opening an alcohol wipe and a band aide.

Oh god his hands.

They were large, but worked swiftly and were surprisingly gentle looking.

"this will sting a little." He said dabbing my head with the wipe.

I winced and out of reflex my hand flew up grabbing his wrist. He chuckled looking me in the eyes. My strength was in no way a match for him. I'm pretty sure my face lit up like a christmas tree as I removed my hand. I continued to stare at him while he worked at cleaning some excess blood from my wound.

"you don't say much do you.. Ms. uh Ms. (L/N)." Jensen said grabbing the press badge around my neck.

"It's just (y/n)." I chirped quietly.

He towered over me. It was rather intimidating, not to mention that but he's a billionaire television star and I'm just me.

"It's not deep enough to need stitches, just a cut but definitely keep it clean and covered." He ordered putting a band aide over my cut.

He stepped back giving me a once over. I couldn't help but feel incredibly insecure.

"uh thanks, you really didn't have to do all this." I said giving him a shy smile.

"of course I did, an injury is really bad for business." He says staring down at me as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

I felt the heat creeping up to my cheeks once again.

"oh yeah uh of course." I choked clearing my throat.

Gosh I'm an idiot.

There was a pause of silence before his laughter boomed in my ears.

"I'm kidding Ms. (L/N)." He said smiling.

"It's just (y/n). " I whispered again.

"so just (y/n), are you a reporter, you really don't seem like the cutthroat type." He asked gesturing to Stellas list that I still clutched in my hand.

"uh photographer actually, I was supposed to get a picture of the opening, my friend Stella is a reporter, she was supposed to come too but uh she has the stomach bug and wanted to see if I could get you to answer some of her questions for the article she's writing." I said afraid to meet his eyes.

"well did you get one?" He questions leaning on the bar so he was more relaxed and slouched down to my level."

I gave him a confused look.

"a picture." He clarifies, laughing at my confusion.

I don't know what it was about him, but it was causing my brain to get all foggy.

"oh yeah, uhm lets see." I blushed looking down at my camera.

I noticed the lens had a crack in it, and that the hatch where the sd card was inserted was open and the sd card missing.

" oh no." I said peering at my camera.

"everything okay?" Jensen spoke up furrowing his eyebrows in concern.

"uh yeah just my camera I must've cracked the lens when I fell, and my sd card fell out. It's fine though I'm sure uh there are other pictures we can use for the column." I said shaking it off.

I didn't want him to feel bad for my clumsiness.

I looked up meeting Jensens eyes. He was staring at me intently. I gulped nervously, feeling my cheeks heat up.

"well how about I answer some of your friends questions then." He offers with a smile.

"I uh thought you weren't answering questions." I said barely above a whisper.

Jensen leaned in close so we were eye level now.

"I think I can make an exception. I mean you got hurt for me after all." He said giving me a cheeky smile.

I could feel his breath fan over my face as he spoke. It smelled like mint and whiskey. I couldn't help the chills that shot through my body.

"uh great thanks, she'll be thrilled." I said starting to fiddle with the paper, of course in my nervous tirade I dropped it.

I went to reach for it at the same time as Jensen making our hands touch.

"erm sorry." I said quickly grabbing the paper and unfolding it the rest of the way.

Jensen sat leaning on the bar staring at me, waiting for me to ask him a question. I removed a pen from my pocket and quickly looked at the paper, my brain was so foggy I convinced myself I forgot how to read for a second. I took a deep breath reading the first question on the list.

"uh you went from being a successful actor on the hit show supernatural to now owning multiple businesses, to what do you.." I started but was cut off by Jensen.

"to what do I owe my sucess? is that really her question?" He asks raising his eyebrows.

I bite my lip nervously shaking my head.

"I think my success is owed to supernatural and how hard we worked to make the show what it was, it allowed me to make connections with some great people and build up my name." He said.

"maybe you just got lucky." I chirped still biting my bottom lip.

"that's funny Ms. (L/N), I found out the harder I worked the more luck seemed to come my way." He said ruggedly.

"of course, I didn't uh mean, uh I'm just going to ask the next question, you've recently started outsourcing some of your products from third world countries, is this a personal reason or.." I started but again was cut off.

"It's smart business, that's all." He said.

I scoffed looking down at the paper.

"what you don't think I'm making smart marketing decisions?" He asked raising his eyebrows.

"No it's not that, I just think your heart may be a little bit bigger than you would like people to believe. I said giving him a shy smile.

"you know many media reporters say I don't have much of a heart at all." Jensen said running his hand down his bearded chin.

"I don't believe that." I said quickly looking at him intently.

“well then you don’t know me very well Ms. (L/N), next question.” He says quickly changing topics.

I glance at the paper flustered. It seemed like this was something that he struggled with. He didn't want to answer questions to begin with and the last thing I wanted to do was make him uncomfortable with my questioning.

“Are you gay.” I spoke before my hand immediately flew over my mouth.

I'm going to kill Stell.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I just asked you that! It’s Stella she’s intrusive and since your almost never photographed with a woman, the media speculates.” I rambled feeling absolutely embarrassed.

Jensen looked at me with a stern face before laughing.

“no I’m not gay.” He said.

“I’m sorry it’s on the paper.” I blushed.

“forget the paper..” he said grabbing it from my hands and placing it on the bar. “is there anything you want to know about me?” He asked moving just a bit closer.

I bite my lip again looking down at my hands.

“you said I didn’t know you very well to believe you have a heart, is that because you don’t think you do or other people make you feel like that?” I whisper looking at the man in front of me.

He was so nice. How could someone this nice not have a heart? Jensen once again leaned down to my eye level, our noses were practically touching. I stared nervously at his gorgeous green eyes.

“I’m not who everyone thinks that I am Ms. (L/N).” He answered his eyes falling to the floor.

I was about to respond when a couple guys in black suits came in.

“Jensen we gotta get these doors open.” A middle aged man said looking to Jensen.

“yeah of course Cole, start letting the guests in.” Jensen said standing up and turning away from me.

I slowly stood up too, displeased that whatever moment we had was now over.

“just give me a minute guys.” Jensen said holding up a finger to the gentlemen in the suits.

He turns back around grabbing my chin to examine my band aide covered head. I felt electric pulse through my skin where his fingertips met.

“I’m uh really sorry you got hurt today, and that you didn’t get your picture. I hope I answered all your questions though.” He said offering me a small smile.

“I think you only answered three of them but, I uh should go, thanks again for the help I thought I was actually going to get trampled out there.” I joked biting my bottom lip again.

Jensen looks down at my lip before meeting my eyes.

“I wouldn’t have let that happen.” Jensen says seriously his eyes flicking from my lips to my eyes.

I got a nervous feeling in my gut when he stared at me. Almost as if I was nauseous but in a good way.

“I should uh go.” I whispered not wanting to delay the opening more than I already had but also wanting to savor every bit of this moment.

“I’ll uh walk you out.” Jensen says turning around and putting a hand on my lower back.

He leads me out the back door of the ale house where it isn’t overrun with people.

“I guess this is goodbye then.” I said turning to look at him one last time.

I can’t believe I actually had the chance to sit down and talk with him. My heart ached that this experience was now over.

“who knows Ms. (L/N). I might see you around.” Jensen says before turning around and walking back in to his business.

“just (y/n).” I whisper biting my lip, though he was already too far gone.

I couldn’t help the grin that spread over my face as I walked outside. The Texas heat hit me like a freight train, Jensen’s words playing in my head.

“who knows I might see you around.”

My smile didn’t falter as I quietly drove back to our little apartment. As soon as I pulled in my parking space Stella was out at my car.

“Oh my god (y/n/n) your all over the internet.” She screams handing me her phone.

I look down and there are pictures of Jensen jumping over the velvet rope to rescue me. I looked like a deer in headlights staring up at him.

God this was so embarrassing.

I just hope Gray doesn't see these. I gave her, her phone back getting out of the car.

“so…” she starts with a squeal.

“so…” I say rolling my eyes at her.

“tell me everything, what happened!?” she screams grabbing my shoulders.

“nothing really, he brought me inside to clean up my cut and we just talked for a little bit, I asked him some of your questions, I even asked him if he was gay, which thanks for that by the way.” I said pushing past her into the apartment.

“ooh yeah sorry about that, so what was he like?” She pestered.

“nice, polite, serious, intimidating.” I rattled off, my mind going to the towering man with the raspy voice.

“uh totally hot…” she added.

"I mean yeah if you're in to that type." I said glancing at her.

“so did you get your picture?” she asked looking at my camera.

I looked down at my camera again disappointed. I knew I was going to get shit for not doing the one task I was asked of, I’m just hoping Stella’s questions were enough to get me out of the hole I had dug for myself.

“no, when I fell my lens cracked and I’m missing my sd card.” I groaned taking my camera off from around my neck and tossing it on the couch.

“oh well you wrote down the answers to the questions right?” She said cocking her head to the side.

I shook my head, fishing in my jacket pocket for her list of questions where I'd scribbled his answers in pen. I didn’t feel them though. Realization hit me as I remembered Jensen grabbing the paper out of my hand and setting it on the bar. I never picked it back up. I was definitely screwed now. I remember all of his answers but still, I don’t know if anyone will believe just word of mouth.

“about that..” I started biting my lip.

“Gray’s going to be furious.” Stella says giving me a concerned look.

“you’re telling me.” I said crashing on the couch.

A million thoughts were running through my head, all of them leading back to one person in particular. He was definitely intimidating but there was also something about him that drew you in and hypnotized you. I shuddered remembering how close he was to me, the smell of his aftershave mixed with his cologne filled my nostrils. It was definitely the best day I've had in awhile despite not getting my picture and the hell I’m going to get for it. I grabbed a blanket off the back of the sofa, curling up and falling into a euphoric sleep, my dreams consisting of a certain green eyed man.

“I guess this is goodbye then.” I said turning to look at him one last time.

"maybe it doesn't have to be?"

Jensen came closer to me running a hand down the side of my face. He looked in my eyes intently while bringing his face closer. I bit my lip out of habit.

"what I wouldn't do to bite that lip." He groaned.

"What’s stopping you?"

He leaned in making my eyes flutter closed. I could feel his breath just a mere inch away from me. He got closer.....and closer.....

I awoke to someone violently shaking my shoulders.

"(y/n), get the hell up, we're going to be late for work." Stella yelled throwing a pillow at me.

I shot up from my position on the couch.

Shit. I overslept.

I quickly grabbed some clothes sprinting to the bathroom. I threw on black dress pants, a white top and a black blazer. I ran my fingers quickly through my hair, deciding this would have to do for now. I managed to have enough time to gargle with some mouth wash before running out the door.

"so what are you going to tell Gray?" Stella asked driving to the editorial office while I applied a thin layer of mascara in the passengers seat.

Fuck. I was so preoccupied thinking of Jensen I had no clue what the hell I was going to say to my boss.

"maybe he won't ask." I shrugged in defeat.

"yeah and maybe I'll be the next Queen of England." Stella joked.

She pulled into her designated parking spot, gathering her bag from the back seat. I opened the door moving at a sluggish pace. Maybe if I avoided Gray everything would be fine. He's a busy man after all, there are times where he can’t be seen throughout the day. I was praying that today was one of those days, just until I could think of what to say to him, or find something else that could potentially save our article. I walked in the building with my head down going straight to my desk.

Keep cool. I don't think he saw me enter.

I turn around unpacking my bag when I heard a hand slam down on my desk.

Of course. I just can’t win!

I hesitantly turn around, my boss Gray staring down at me.

"so did you get my picture?" He asked glaring at me.

I noticed Stella start to shuffle closer, knowing I'd need her for support.

"about the picture sir.." I started my voice quiet.

"you didn't get the picture!?" He asked, slowly starting to raise his voice.

"no, there were too many people, I fell and cracked the lens of my camera, and.." I rambled but was cut off.

"this was huge (y/n), you really dropped the ball on this one. I can't believe you're incapable of doing one small simple task, how are you ever going to make it in the big leagues if you can't snap a simple picture?" He yelled in disappointment.

I could feel the tears lace my eyes as he degraded me in front of the entire editorial office. I've never felt so small. Stella steps up beside me.

“now sir, let’s take it easy.” She tries to defend while trying not to cross a line.

"I'm really sorry sir." I apologized looking down at my feet, not wanting him to see my tear brimmed eyes.

"you're sorry, well sorry doesn't...." He started but was interrupted by a voice.

"I'm uh looking for a Ms. (L/N)."

I snapped my head up.

I know that voice.

Jensen stood at the reception desk, the receptionist too stunned to speak.

"holy shit.." Stella and I both said at the same time.

Jensen glances around, finally connecting eyes with mine. He smiles making his way to my desk.

“Mr. Ackles what a pleasure to have you here, I’m Gray Holland, chief editor.” Gray says putting on a big smile, which was different from his usual scowl.

Jensen ignored him, instead coming to stand in front of me and a very stunned Stella.

“you’re uh here, how, why?” I asked in shock.

“I believe you dropped this.” Jensen said.

He reaches in to his pocket and pulls out an sd card. He found it… but how? Did he go looking?

“Ah you must be Stella?” Jensen said turning to her.

She stands wide eyed nodding her head. He reaches in his other pocket pulling out a folded up paper… it was the list of her questions.

“I’m uh not gay but thanks for clarifying.” Jensen says handing Stella her list of questions.

She unfolded it with shaking hands, every question was filled out in his neat handwriting. I can’t believe he took the time to do that. Jensen gives me a smile before turning around to face Gray.

“Mr. Holland was it? I apologize sir, I didn’t anticipate the amount of people being there, therefore quality control was not the most efficient. It was my fault, Ms. (L/N) was shoved over and her camera sustained damages. I’ve written out a check that should cover the cost to replace the camera.” Jensen spoke pulling out a folded check.

My breath was caught in my throat. Nobody had ever stood up for me before. Gray was an intimidating man but looked small compared to Jensen.

“I appreciate your explanation and thank you Mr. Ackles, but (y/n) still didn’t get the cleared picture for her article.” Gray says pocketing the check.

I rolled my eyes. All Gray cares about is his stupid magazine.

“I know it’s not the same, but I’m free now for an original picture, as long as Ms. (L/ N) gets to take it.” Jensen spoke glancing back at me.

I could hear Stella shriek with excitement. Gray looks at me with judge filled eyes before agreeing.

“you girls go set up in the studio.” Gray orders me and Stella.

Stella grabs my hand sprinting to the studio while Jensen went to freshen up in the bathroom.

“Oh my gosh I can’t believe this is real right now!” Stella squealed.

“I have no idea how he found me, I never told him where we work.” I said scratching my head.

“He’s so totally into you (y/n) ! Must’ve made an impression if he tracked you down!” Stella fangirled.

“you’re delusional my friend.” I laughed starting to set up a backdrop and a ring light for some good lighting.

Jensen came back, dressed in his signature suit and tie.

“Ready?” He asked giving me a smile.

I don’t think I’ll ever get used to his smile.

I shook my head biting my bottom lip. Jensen walked in front of the backdrop and posed for the camera. It didn’t take me long to snap a couple good pictures of him. Let’s be honest, the man was incapable of taking a bad one. I brought the camera down from my eye sifting through the pictures.

“any good ones?” Jensen asked, his presence suddenly much closer.

“they’re all good.” I smiled turning my camera to show him the headshots.

I could feel his body heat radiating off of him as he stood close glancing down at the pictures.

“wow these are great, you’re really talented.” Jensen said looking down at me.

Hold up did he just call me talented!? I could feel the immediate heat spread to my cheeks.

“thank you and thank you for all this, Gray’s always on my case.” I said staring up at the tall man.

“I owe you one, and that guy is blind if he can’t see the talent right in front of him.” Jensen said reaching a hand up to stroke my cheek in a comforting manor.

Suddenly someone was clearing their throat. I completely forgot Stella was in the room too.

“I’m just going to go.” She said pointing to the door.

She started to walk backwards but tripped on her two feet causing Jensen and I to laugh. Once she was out the door Jensen turned his attention back to me.

“so any plans for lunch?” He asked.

I bit my lip shaking my head no.

“how about lunch with me?”

“I’d love too.” I breathed.

“then it’s a date.”

Author Note:

Hello!

I really hope you Jensen lovers are liking the first part of my new fiction. If you can show it with a heart, reblog, comment, or a follow!

Part (II)

[forlorn-crows]

crow. babe. darling. my love.

do you know what i need? i need aeon and dew reluctantly being sweet. all the tension that's hung in the air between them dissolving as one of them sneaks into bed because being alone is too much right now, even if their only option is someone who (they think) hates them.

i know you know what i mean.

oh wow how convenient of an ask. would you look at that. and from my sweet darling mal. however could you have known what i wanted to write today. that is crazy (tee hee)

what is ALSO crazy is APPARENTLY @miasmaghoul and i, onCE AGAIN, have the same braincell and wrote basically the same fucking thing at the same fucking time. no, i literally told her nothing about what i was writing beyond "aeon/dew comfort somethin somethin", and she told me nothing about hers. love you bitch

a little bit of aeon/dew Feelings. breaking down walls and such. @waywardsamaritan inspired me to write them with their fic about dew bein all sweet to aeon.

iimagazh means 'little light' in ghoulish; word so graciously borrowed from mal's big lore brain

Dew flips around for what feels like the hundredth time, smushing his cheek into his pillow with more force than necessary. Sleep continues to slip through his claws like fine sand, leaving a heavy weight of . . . something in its wake. Maybe it’s just insomnia or uncomfortable bus bunks. Maybe it’s the pinprick of emptiness gnawing at the back of his brainstem, a feeling that situated itself there as soon as they left for tour.

He wishes Aether were here. To pull him close with those big, warm arms. Aid his addled mind. Kiss him on his hairline and lull him to sleep with a few well-placed waves of quintessence. 

But he’s not.

Instead, Dew stares across the aisle at Aeon’s sleeping form. His eyes roam over his back, bouncing between his wide shoulders. His chest rises and falls evenly in sleep. Lucky bastard, the fire ghoul thinks. Envious. He can almost feel the tug of Aeon’s magick from here, the tiniest tingling at the edges of his awareness. Dew can recognize it well enough, even if it’s not the same brand, so to speak. It’s more subtle than Aether’s, more demure. For as big as his presence is on stage, his magickal footprint is anything but. Aeon’s is more of a low hum, stuck in a tight aura around his vessel. It doesn’t quite warm a room like Aether’s, big in energy and personality as he is. But Dew’s caught the edge of his quintessence enough times to start to get familiar with its calm, yet electric spirals. 

It’s dangerously tempting now, even with their strained relationship. Dew clutches the pillow in his arms a little tighter, scoots closer to the edge of the bunk. He could crawl in with Mountain, as he’s done already so many nights prior. Tucked himself into his nest of long limbs, drawing close to the steady, grounding beat of his heart in his rumbling chest. Putting him as close as he can to their oldest bond. 

He’s just not Aether. And as much as he hates to admit it, he misses the calming touch of quintessence in general, not just from his mate. 

Dew feels vulnerable. Like his longing has cracked open a chasm in his chest and left him open. Wanting. 

His body is moving before his brain can ruminate any further. He slips down from his bunk, careful to avoid the creak of the built-in’s edge. Dew pads across the small aisle, standing dumbly in front of Aeon’s bunk. Breathing as quietly as his lungs will allow. 

Fuck it.

Deftly, the fire ghoul climbs over Aeon and into his bunk, nearly launching himself into the back wall in effort not to jostle the other ghoul. The quintessence ghoul grumbles a little at the dip in the mattress but doesn't fully wake. Dew situates himself close to his front, moving to curl his limbs into himself so as not to touch. Just enough to be close. 

"Hmm . . . iimagazh. . ." Aeon mumbles, pulling the fire ghoul to his chest and throwing a leg over his hips. The lisp of infernal language makes Dew’s breath hitch, let alone the way Aeon easily slots himself against his suddenly over-warm body and presses his nose against the crown of his head, right between the horns, and sighs heavily. 

This is not how this was supposed to go. He can’t know it’s Dew. There’s no reason to elicit such an intimate reaction from someone he’s barely even touched beyond a civil handshake. The fire ghoul holds his breath and wishes he could whisk himself back to his bunk. 

It only takes a few more moments before Aeon unsurprisingly stirs, brow furrowing as he no doubt inhales the scent of fresh shampoo and burnt spices. The quintessence ghoul lets out a confused chirp, shifting back to blink open his eyes and stare at the ghoul in his arms. 

Dew’s eyes are as wide as saucers, fingers curled weakly into Aeon’s sleep shirt. Aeon flicks his gaze all over, realization blooming across his cheeks in the form of a lilac blush, visible even in the dim of the bunk. 

“Uh.” He clears his throat weakly. “Thought you were ‘Rora,” Aeon mutters, avoiding Dew’s eyes in the dark. He moves to pull away, but Dew interrupts. 

“Is it . . . okay that I’m not?”

Aeon makes a small noise, a cross between surprise and disbelief. He hovers between too far and close enough, breaths as shallow as a rabbit’s. Something unreadable crosses his face, but eventually he relaxes a little. Tentatively rests a hand on Dew’s hip. “S-sure. It’s alright.”

“Okay.”

He’s not sure which of them moves first. But soon after he speaks the word they’re pressed together once more, skinny legs intertwined and Aeon’s arms holding him close. He’s surprisingly dense, if Dew had to choose a word for it. He’s not as big and soft as Aether—he’s closer to Dew’s own physique, with a dash of Rain’s height and limber joints. But there’s still a gentle edge to him, comforting in a different way—smells different too. Like the static in the air before a storm, like cool air and myrrh. Yet underneath the mark of quintessence is something else; sage, a hint of metallic tang, and the smell of sap that bursts from a freshly broken branch. Earthy. 

Dew doesn’t want to unpack how that makes him feel right now.

Silence passes between them, broken only by the shuffle of limbs, Mountain's snores from the bunk above, and the dull rumble of the tires on the road.

"Thought you hated me," Aeon whispers.

Dew sighs. Rubs his face into Aeon's shirt. "Don't hate you. M' sorry." 

A beat. Then: “I’m glad you don’t.” Dew lifts his head up, face now millimeters from Aeon’s, tips of their noses barely brushing. Copper eyes gaze into dark ashy brown ones, searching. The quintessence ghoul reaches up and brushes a stray strand of hair back behind Dew’s horns, touch feather-light. And though Aeon’s gaze dips down to his mouth, almost imperceptibly, he only leans in to place a chaste kiss to his forehead before tucking his head back under his chin with a slow exhale. In a way, Dew’s thankful for that. He slips his arms around Aeon’s middle, shuffling as close as possible before allowing himself to close his eyes and release the last bit of tension still straightening his spine. 

Mountain’s the first one up in the morning, dropping down from his bunk with a soft thud. He’s met with the sight of the two lanky ghouls absolutely tangled up in each other in the same small bunk, Dew notably flung across Aeon’s torso and drooling onto his shoulder. The earth ghoul looks at them with amused shock, fondness tugging at his heart a little. 

“Oh ho ho, look what we have—” Swiss is immediately silenced by a well-deserved pillow smack from across the aisle. Mountain frowns at him, miming for the multi ghoul to shut his mouth. 

“Not a word,” he hisses. Mountain presses into his mind instead. That, the earth ghoul points to them, is the best sleep he has gotten this entire time. 

Swiss holds his hands up in surrender, smirk tugging at his lips. Okay, okay. I’ll let the gremlin and his new friend have their beauty sleep. 

[ninii-winchester]

Uncertainty

Pairing : Sam Winchester X Reader

Word count : 1.8k

Warnings: angst, spoilers for 10x5 (Fan Fiction), language, mentions of Jessica, unedited.

A/n : Wrote Sammy for the first time. Hope you enjoy

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO COPY MY WORK, TRANSLATE IT OR POST IT TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM. REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.

Love, how would one define the complexity of the emotion named love. Falling in love in an intricate feeling that encompasses a range of emotions. A person falls in love multiple times throughout their lifetime, so how would you conclude it's actually love.

"Hey!" Sam snapped his finger in front of Y/n's face pulling her out of her thoughts about the complex emotion. "You zoned out."

"Uh yeah I'm sorry, what were you saying?" She asked straightening up again.

"Dean found us a case. An all girls school teacher went missing in Michigan." Sam informed her. She nodded her head affirming she heard him this time.

"I see, how is it our thing again?" She questioned.

"Well we're not sure but Dean thinks it's worth checking out." Sam replied grabbing his things from the table. "Meet you outside in ten?" She nodded her head again standing up from the chair. "Hey are you okay?" He asked holding her arms.

"I'm fine." She replied vaguely.

"you don't seem fine, are you sure you're okay?" Sam was worried and it was evident on his face.

"I'm fine." She repeated but this time she managed to give him a smile.

"I'll let it go for now." He said leaning down to peck her lips. "But you know can talk to me about anything right?"

"Yeah. I'll meet you outside." Y/n said and Sam left her to pack her stuff up. She let out sigh grabbing her bag and putting her stuff inside.

She hadn't been well, physically she's fine. Emotionally, not so much. Sam and her have been together for as long as she can remember. But it has been a bumpy ride. Their relationship wasn't all rainbows and sunshine, not because of their lives as hunters but she felt there's always been something between the two of them, some sort of a distance that maybe only she felt. Sam always had other priorities, his brother, the world, hell or heaven. Sometimes she wondered did he actually love her or was with her for the sake of it. To avoid the loneliness that comes as part of the job.

The blaring horn of the Impala broke her out of of her thoughts, she grabbed her bag and walked out of the motel room they were staying in.

"What were you napping in there?" Dean commented as she open the door to backseat.

"Yeah was dreaming about crashing your Baby." She retorted without missing a beat. Dean gasped dramatically, turning to look at her in the backseat.

"You take that back, woman." She rolled her eyes at his antics. Dean turned to Sam who was having the time of his life watching his brother lose it over a small comment. "Sammy tell your girl to take it back." Sam just laughed shaking his head. Any other time her heart would've fluttered being called Sam's girl but now it just seemed to be taunting her.

"Just drive, would you?" Y/n told Dean, her voice low and tired that wasn't missed by either brother.

Y/n slept in the backseat the for the whole ride, or as they thought. She was awake but didn't feel like being a part of a conversation so she pulled her jacket over her face.

Once they found a motel room, the three of them changed into their Feds outfits. They arrived at the school while Sam got off the phone with the local police officer.

"The last place Mrs Chadler was seen by anyone was at the auditorium, she's the drama teacher." He informed as the three of them got out of the car.

Y/n followed behind the two men as they continued to bicker about 'theatre kids.' The principal showed them to the auditorium and their jaws dropped the moment they entered inside.

"What the fuck?" Y/n exclaimed as she took in the scene in-front of them, a banner was set up above the stage which "Supernatural: the musical." She heard familiar words being yelled like 'idjits or hey ass butt'. A girl wearing a leather jacket supposedly "Dean" started singing their about their life story. The boys opened and closed their mouth clearly thrown off by the barbarous act.

Two girls approached them, one was wearing a red beret and both of them had glasses on. She introduced the both of them and continued blabbering thinking they're from the publishers. Sam interrupted her.

"I'm Special Agent Smith and these are my partners Special Agent Smith," he pointed to Dean, "and Special Agent Wood." He gestured towards Y/n. "we're here to look in to the disappearance of-"

"There is no singing in Supernatural." Dean interrupted Sam and Y/n stomped on his feet subtly.

"We're here to talk about Mrs Chandler's disappearance." She added quickly. "She was last seen here so we were hoping you could show us around."

"Uh sure." Said Marie, "I'll do that, and Maeve can show you the sound booth." She said pointing to the other girl.

"Alright Agent Smith." Y/n said turning to Sam , "you can go with Maeve while Agent Smith and I check out the stage area." Sam nodded letting Maeve lead him.

Marie turned around walked down a few steps Y/n followed behind her but Dean stopped her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Why do you two keep asking me that?" She sighed and he gave her look.

"Because you're acting weird." Dean concluded as if it's the most obvious thing.

"I don't wanna talk about it." She said turning back to walk down.

"So there is something." He called out from behind her.

"De-" she stopped herself from saying his name. Before she could say anything Marie called out to them,

"Agents?" She was waiting for them to join her, Dean muttered a 'later' to her before going over to Marie and Y/n rolled her eyes following him.

Marie continued to blabber about supernatural and Dean kept engaging with her, telling her what actually happened after Chuck stopped writing any more books, Y/n had tuned off the rest of their conversation. She tuned back in she heard Marie say,

"I'm a Sam girl. I like Dean too but Sam..." she trailed off with a dreamy sigh. "And you know as much I like Y/n's character I think their relationship is forced." She said nonchalantly.

Dean watched Y/n face turn into a frown so he spoke, "well I don't think so. I think they're great together. They love each other."

"I mean yeah Y/n does I guess but Sam? Not so much." They continued walking and reached the back stage.

"What makes you think that?" Dean snapped unintentionally. Marie looked taken aback but she replied as cooly as possible.

"There's barely any romance between them. Hell Dean's got more action, with different ladies combined, than them." She said stopping before the curtain where they could see the girls rehearsing on the stage.

"Alright whatever, thank you for showing us around." Dean replied. "give us a minute." Marie left off to do whatever it was that she did.

"Don't." Y/n said as soon as Marie left. She knew what he was gonna say and she didn't want to hear it. He sighed and dropped it.

The whole time they were at the school the air had been awkward. Y/n had been zoning out more often and Sam was getting worried. They were successful in killing the Calliope and saving Marie and others. Sam asked Dean if he knew what's wrong but the older Winchester just told him to talk to her. They left the school and arrived at their motel within minutes. Dean knew a conversation between the couple was long due so he announced his departure and left the room.

"Baby." Sam called out reaching for Y/n. He hugged her figure from behind wrapping his arms around her smaller body. "You've been distant."

"Have I?" She didn't intended to be snarky but it came out as that.

"What's wrong?" He asked turning her around, still holding her in his embrace. "Hey! Talk to me."

"Why are you with me Sam?" Her question caught him off guard.

"Because I love you! What kinda question is that?" He asked offended she'd even ask him that.

"I don't think so!" She exclaimed getting out of his arms. "It's been gnawing at me for a while now Sam, this, us, I feel like I'm just a chore to you." Sam's face fell at her words. He knew they haven't been able to spend some lone time together but he didn't think she'd felt that way.

"That's not true at all. Damn it." He said running his hair through his hands. "I had no idea you felt that way." He made her sit on the bed and kneeled in-front of her.

"Sometimes I feel like you never got over Jess. And I'm just there to fill the space she left behind." She whispered ever so lowly she wasn't even sure if he heard her. But he did and damn did it break his heart. She felt bad bringing up his dead girlfriend but that's how she felt. And if they're having the talk then they'll talk.

"Fuck." Sam exhaled loudly. He cupped her cheeks in his large hand, resting his forehead on hers. "Yea I loved her." He started "but I am in love with you, irrecoverably. I am so sorry that I couldn't show you how head over heels I am for you. I guess I got carried away in our problems that I didn't notice. Truth is I wouldn't last a day without you, baby. This job, hunting it's all meaningless if you aren't by my side."

"You mean all that?" Y/n questioned, looking at him with watery eyes. He smiled nodding, his own eyes a bit glazed.

"I do. I know I've been an idiot and I'm so sorry for hurting you." Sam said holding her close. "But I'd make it up to you."

"You promise not to let anything else come between us?" She asked him.

"I promise, my love, honest to God." Sam kissed her, and she kissed him back. His hands moved down to hold her neck, her arms wrapping around his shoulders. He gently removed her shirt and threw it somewhere across the room. He picked her up and laid her on the bed. He hovered above her trailing kisses down from her jaw to her neck. She tugged on his shirt which he gladly removed. "I love you. So much." He said getting on too of her again. He placed his lips on her collarbone, sucking hard, intent on leaving a mark.

"I hope you-" Dean's voice was heard as he opened the door "ah God dammit." He yelled closing the door.

Sam groaned making Y/n laugh. He pressed his lips to her ceasing her laughter. She closed her eyes as he conveyed all his love and adoration through the tender kiss.

[five-rivers]

Cracked Clay Cup Chapter 17

@greatbigolhampuckjustforme

Danny reappeared in the entryway of Clockwork’s house in a swirl of blue.  He met Clockwork’s eyes for just a moment and saw the muted concern in them.  

He couldn’t stand it.  

He darted to the side and made for the stairs.  

“Daniel–” said Clockwork, behind him, but he ignored him.  

He reached his bedroom and dove under the covers of the bed, wrapping himself up in the quilt, because he missed grabbing the sheet underneath it.  He pressed the nearest pillow into his face and tried to stop crying.  

“Daniel,” repeated Clockwork softly from near the doorway.  Danny hadn’t closed the door.  

Danny shook his head.  Whatever Clockwork wanted right now, Danny just couldn’t–

The edge of the bed sank down as Clockwork sat on it.  He put a hand on Danny’s shoulder.  “It will be alright, Daniel.  You are safe here.”

“You know– You know what they did.”

“I do.”

“How could you just let me– How could you let me go there?”

Clockwork sighed.  “I am bound by the limits of the role I have taken on.  I could not tell you.”

Typical.  Danny rubbed angrily at his eyes.  “How did I get away?  Do you know?”

“I know,” said Clockwork.  He didn’t say anything else.  

“But you can’t tell me, is that it?”

“If I were to tell you,” said Clockwork, carefully, “I would be removed from my current role and replaced by someone… less able.  The Observants are ever eager to exert control.”

Danny sniffled.  Clockwork’s explanation was reasonable, from a certain perspective.  It still hurt.  

“Why did they do it?” asked Danny.  “They said they wanted to understand, but they–  Who could do that if they wanted to understand?”

“I cannot say that I understand their motives,” said Clockwork.  “I certainly couldn’t imagine acting like that.”  He began rubbing a small circle into Danny’s back.  “But you need never see them again, if that is your wish.”

A sob caught in Danny’s throat, and before he knew what he was doing, he had twisted around to throw himself into Clockwork’s arms.  Clockwork received him with a remarkable amount of grace.  

“I don’t know why–  I don’t– Why I’m acting like this, I barely know them, knew them, it shouldn’t feel like–”  He didn’t know how to describe it.  “I don’t know why.”

“The why of it does not matter so much as the fact that you do feel that way,”  said Clockwork, continuing to pat Danny’s back.  

“It matters to me.”

“Ah, I see,” said Clockwork, soothingly.  “I’m sorry.  Of course it matters to you.  Of course.”

“I’m sorry,” said Danny.  

“No, no,” said Clockwork, “it’s quite alright.”

“I’m crying on you.”

“It’s fine,” said Clockwork.  “Tears wash out.”

“I don’t know why.”

“You learned about something very upsetting.  This is natural.”

“I don’t remember it.”

“It still happened, and is responsible for your present circumstances.  It’s alright to cry.  I will be here.”

.

“I made oatmeal today,” said Clockwork, putting a steaming bowl down in front of Danny.  “I thought that something simple would be best, after last night.”

Danny grunted and picked up a spoon to stir the oatmeal.  It wasn’t as simple as all that, really.  Clockwork had put raisins and cinnamon sugar in it.  It probably tasted just as good as all the other food Clockwork had made for him.  

“I’m supposed to choose now,” said Danny, listlessly. 

“This is the stage of the trial where you choose, but you need not do so immediately.  I cannot advise you on how to choose, or how to weigh your options, but it would not be out of the question for you to contemplate the matter for several days.”

“Right,” said Danny.  He scrubbed at his face.  Even after he’d sent Clockwork away, he’d cried on and off all night.  His skin around his eyes felt grainy and salty.  “What happens, when I choose?  Do you just teleport me back and the doors start working again?  And I, um, get my memory back?”

“That is a portion of it,” said Clockwork.  He sat down at the table across from Danny.  “First, however, the power involved in the ritual that is the trial would coalesce into a bond between you and your chosen guardian.  This would include the power involved in altering your form, so you would shortly thereafter regain your original appearance.”

“I kind of like the ears and tail, though.”  He ran his hands over his ears reflexively.  “They’re fluffy.”

Clockwork smiled.  “There are ways you can either regain or retain them.  Once that has occurred, the Observants will come to return your memories, and, finally, you will be escorted to your guardian.”

“Huh,” said Danny.  He poked at the oatmeal some more.  

“You should eat,” said Clockwork, gently.  

Danny sighed, and did his best.  

.

“I should make a list,” said Danny, having given up on breakfast.

“Of what?” asked Clockwork.  

“Names,” said Danny.  “Of people.  Choices.”

“You already have one of those,” Clockwork pointed out.  “In the folder.”

“Oh.  Yeah.  Where did that get to, anyway?”

Clockwork slid it across the table, along with a pencil.  

“Thanks,” said Danny.  He flipped the folder open.  “I guess I can start by crossing off the people I’m definitely not going to choose.”

“That seems like a logical way to proceed,” agreed Clockwork.  

“So.  Not the Observants, obviously.”

He looked up at Clockwork out of the corner of his eye.  He could swear he’d seen him smirk at that pronouncement.  Just a little.  

“And not Skulker, Ember, and Technus,” he continued, moving down to the next entry he could safely cross out.  “And not, and not, um.  Not Jack and Maddie.  Those’re– those are the ones I can’t, who won’t, um.  Yeah.”  He looked at the rest of the list.  “Vlad is okay, but he lied to me a bunch, and I don’t really get why we were enemies, so when I get my memory back, I might hate him again, so not him.  Jazz…”

Danny licked his lips and tapped the eraser of the pencil against the table.  He liked Jazz.  And she was his sister.  Given everything else, he could sort of understand why she was lying, but…  No.  Vlad had a point, saying that he shouldn’t choose her.

“Not Jazz,” said Danny, finally.  “I don’t want to do that to her.  Which leaves Pandora and Frostbite.”

“A difficult decision indeed.”

“Yeah,” said Danny.  He sighed.  Either one of them would be good.  Different.  Very different.  The culture shock would be hard.  Ancient Greece and the Far Frozen were both very different from what he was used to.  But Frostbite and Pandora would take care of him, and that’s what really mattered, in the end.  

But he had to wonder if there wasn’t another option.  

“Clockwork, you knew me before, didn’t you?”

“I cannot tell you that.”

“Right.  But Jazz knew you, which sort of implies that I knew you.  So.  You knew me.”  Danny bit his lower lip, thinking.  “You, um.  Why didn’t you join in?  As a guardian, I mean.  Why didn’t you, um.  Apply?  Is that the right term?”

“It’s as good as any.”  Clockwork leaned back in his chair.  “There are still limits on what I can tell you.”

“Yeah, but tell me what you can tell me.”

“If I were to adopt a child,” said Clockwork.  “Any child, not necessarily you; you understand that I cannot speak of such specifics.”

“Right,” said Danny.  

“But, if I were to try to adopt a child, the Observants would be very cross with me.”

“Why?”

“Because my responsibilities to such a child would supercede my oaths and duties to them.  They would not appreciate the loss of control, and would do everything in their power to prevent it.”

“Like, by making you be a neutral party.  Taking you out of the running.”

“Yes,” said Clockwork.  “That would be something they might do.”

Danny fidgeted with the edge of the paper folder.  “If you– Did you–  Would you have applied?  If you could?  You know, hypothetically.”

“Yes,” said Clockwork, simply.

Danny took a deep breath and rubbed his hands on his thighs.  “Then…  Then, if I…  I can choose anyone, can’t I?  Anyone I want, right?”

“Correct,” said Clockwork.  “That is the base rule upon which this whole trial is based.”

“So… what happens if I do?  If I, um, if I choose you?”

“That would be a nonstandard ending to the trial,” said Clockwork.  “It would not end as smoothly, perhaps, as it normally would.  The pathways that the power involved would travel upon may be confused.  You may not regain your original form.  The Observants would certainly withhold your memories.”

“And that would be… bad,” said Danny.  “That would be…”  He shook himself all over.  “I, um.  I don’t think…”  He faltered, looking down at his hands.  “That wouldn’t be much of a loss.  Really.”

“Fifteen years of memories is not insignificant,” said Clockwork, a note of warning in his voice.  “This is not a decision to make lightly.  It will affect your entire life.  There may even be other side effects that I have not listed.  Things that even I cannot foresee.”

“I don’t think I want to remember.  Not if it means remember what…”  He swallowed, with difficulty.  If what had been written in that binder had actually happened, he didn’t want to remember it.  “I’ve been thinking about this decision for months, right?  Every moment I remember.  I’m not making it lightly.  I know how important it is.”

Clockwork inclined his head towards Danny, acknowledging the point.  

“Pandora and Frostbite are great, but…”  Danny took a deep breath.  “But it’s you.  I choose you.”  He braced himself preparing for rejection.  A sort of tension built inside his chest until the feeling scraped the edge of pain.  

Then Clockwork was next to him and reached out to him, putting one hand on his shoulder and the other on his cheek.  “Oh, Daniel,” he said.  

The tension abruptly collapsed, and Danny let himself fall forward, into Clockwork’s arms.  Clockwork carded a gloved hand through Danny’s hair, ruffling his ears.  

“It’s okay, right?  It’s okay for me to choose you.”

“Of course it is,” said Clockwork.  “Of course.  I cannot tell you how glad I am.”

“But you can tell me other things, though, right?  You’re not neutral anymore.”

“Quite right,” said Clockwork, and Danny could hear a smile in his voice.  “I have so many things to tell you.”

“What kind of things?” asked Danny, settling his head against Clockwork’s collarbone.  Or whatever ghosts had instead of collarbones.  

“All sorts,” said Clockwork.  He chuckled.  “You’ll be able to see my actual lair.”

“Is it purple, too?”

“You’ll see.”

[slut4thebroken]

Chapter four: Proof

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Arkham Knight/Jason Todd × Bruce's daughter!reader

Summary | Jason won’t believe you no matter what you say so you decide to find proof.

Warnings | Angst, so much angst, but also fluffy moments here and there, Jay needs a hug, he’s doing his best.

Words | 2.8k

Notes | I didn’t add any smut to the beginning of the chapter sorry guys😔 I’m probably going to add more at the end of the fic tho

Ao3 link | <3

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Chapter three

A few hours later you were laying with your head on his lap as you both read a book, the news playing faintly on the tv. You jolted up when you heard it. 

“We’re coming to you live just minutes after the explosion at Wayne Manor, following the dramatic unmasking of billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne as Batman.” You stared at the screen in shock listening to her explain what happened. “It was reported that Wayne and another man were inside at the time of the explosion, the whereabouts of his daughter are still unknown. Though no bodies have been recovered on the scene yet, officials highly doubt that anyone made it out alive.” Even though you didn’t want to believe it, they were broadcasting live footage of the manor on fire, the entire front part in pieces on the ground. 

“No…” You said quietly, still staring at the screen in shock. “No, that- that doesn’t make sense.” The tv went black, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look away from it. You felt Jason’s hand on your shoulder and distantly heard him calling your name, but you kept your eyes on the empty screen. 

“I have to… I need to find him.” You said through a breath, standing up and walking to the bedroom to get dressed. You felt numb. You still didn’t believe this was true and honestly you don’t think you can handle it if it is. An arm on your bicep turned you around and you were met with the sight of Jason, brows furrowed, asking you where you’re going. 

“I have to find him.” 

“Sweetheart…” 

“No! No. This can’t happen, he wouldn’t let this happen.” You said, pulling away from him to change clothes. 

“Call him.” 

“I don’t have my fucking phone.” You snapped, immediately regretting speaking to him like that. 

“I know.” He held out a phone and you stared at it with furrowed brows. Why is he letting you do this? After he went through all the trouble of not letting you contact him. Instead of questioning him, you took the phone in shaky hands and dialed his number. It went straight to voicemail, so you tried again. Then the house phone. Then the bat phone that he barely even uses. Then Dick. 

“Who is this?” 

“Dick?” 

“Oh my god you’re okay. Bruce said you were taken.”

“No I- I’m fine.” Did he not tell him about Jason? “Have you seen the news?”

“Not yet, why?” 

“There was an explosion. At the manor. My dad and Alfred were inside.” He was quiet for a moment and you held your breath as you waited. 

“Shit. Are they okay?” 

“It- it said they think they’re dead. Dick, did he tell you about anything he had planned? Where he would go- anything?” 

“No… But I mean, he revealed his identity, it’s not surprising someone would do this.” 

“No- He’s not- they’re not dead. He wouldn’t be that stupid, it has to be some kind of staged thing. And plus they haven’t even found any bodies yet.” He said your name softly and you knew he was about to make you feel delusional. Just like he did with Jason. 

“Don’t fucking call me crazy again because I was right last time.” You hissed, practically shaking from all the emotions you were feeling. 

“What? What do you mean you were right?” You glanced at Jason. Your dad really didn’t tell him... Why wouldn’t he tell him? 

“Jason… He’s- he’s not dead.” He was silent for so long, you almost thought he hung up. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” He said lowly. 

“He’s alive. He was the one who took me.”

“You’re with him right now?” You glanced at him again, finding his jaw clenched as he stared at the wall next to you. 

“Yes.” Once again, the prolonged silence made you think he hung up, but you just waited anxiously for his response.

“Is he okay?” He finally asked, voice just barely shaking. You stared at Jason, debating how to respond. 

“He will be. Please help me, Dick. You know him- he wouldn’t let himself get blown up, he’s not that careless.” You begged and he let out a heavy sigh. 

“Let me call some people. I’ll let you know if I find anything.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Of course. And- will you just… tell him I miss him? And I’m sorry for giving up on him so easily.” 

“I will.” He hung up and you slowly lowered the phone from your ear, watching Jason turn back to face you. “He misses you.” You handed him the phone and he rolled his eyes as he put it back in his pocket. 

“I’m sure he’s plenty happy with his new baby brother.” He scoffed, walking back into the living room. You trailed after him, sitting next to him on the couch. 

“You should go see him.” You said softly. 

“I’m good.” He picked up his book, trying to ignore you. 

“Even if you don’t consider them your family anymore, they’re still my family. You can’t avoid them forever.” He looked over his book at you with narrowed eyes. 

“Watch me.” He spat, then focused on the page again. 

“Jay, I’m serious.” 

“So am I.” He fired back. You sighed and looked away from him- you don’t want to argue about this right now, not while you’re so worried about your dad and Alfred and…

“Oh my god…” You muttered, suddenly remembering. “Oh my god, Blue.” 

“What?”

“Blue-”

“That thing is still alive? It was ancient when you stole it.”

“I don’t know if he’s still alive, that's why I’m freaking out.” You gritted, even though his response almost made you laugh. “And I did not steal him. It was the cat distribution system.” 

“Okay, princess.” 

“And he’s not an ‘it.’” 

God you hoped he was okay. Especially after he lost Jason too, he deserves to know he’s still alive. As your thoughts moved back to Jason, you thought of another idea. 

“Do you still have your… Arkham Knight resources?” This time when he looked over his book at you, it was with curiosity. 

“Bruce pretty much took all of it down but I still have some.”

“Can you- Will you help me?” You asked nervously. When he didn’t respond immediately, you continued. “Not for him. For me. Please, Jason.” Lowering the book, he sighed and looked away from you as he clenched his jaw. 

“Fine. For you.” He muttered, making the corners of your lips turn up. He went to his room, closing the door behind him, and you waited anxiously. It only took a few minutes before he was walking back out. 

“I have someone looking into something, but honestly it doesn’t seem very promising.” He said, sitting back down next to you on the couch. 

“Thank you, Jay.” You gave him a small smile and kissed his cheek, making him blush. “What would I do without you?”

“Probably die in an explosion since you would’ve gone home.” Your smile turned into a frown and you could see the exact moment when he realized what he said. “…Too soon?” He asked nervously. 

“It happened like 20 minutes ago so yeah- too soon.” You glared at him, but when he gave you a sheepish smile, your expression softened. 

“Noted.” Instead of letting you reply, he scooped you up and placed you on his lap, hugging you from the side. “I’m sure he’s okay. You’re right, he’s not that careless.” He said, rubbing a hand up and down your leg to soothe you. As a comfortable silence filled the room, you kept repeating the reporter’s words in your head. 

“Wait… How did they know he’s Batman?” You leaned back enough to see his face as you stared at him with furrowed brows. 

“Scarecrow gave him an ultimatum.” He shrugged eyes not meeting your own. “This time he actually chose to save Robin.” He added bitterly. You mulled his words over in your head. You want to help him get over this, but how do you reverse months of emotional manipulation? 

“If you think that, then you also think that I didn’t choose to save you.” That made him scoff. 

“No I don’t.” 

“Well, he stopped looking after I stopped. So I guess that means I’m worse than him.” You shrugged. 

“Stop. I know what you’re trying to do and it’s not going to work.” 

“I don’t even think you really understand what I’m trying to do, Jay.”

“You’re trying to manipulate me! You’re trying to feed me the same lies he fed you.” You almost thought he was about to throw you off his lap to the floor because of how angry he sounded. You were silent for a moment, debating how to respond. 

“You really think I’d do that to you?” You asked quietly, staring into eyes that wouldn’t meet your own. 

“He’s your fucking dad, why wouldn’t you?” He spat. Ouch... It’s understandable that he’s hurt and angry, but it still hurt knowing he thought of you like that. 

“Got it.” You whispered. Should you get off his lap? He’s still holding you though... Should you leave the room? Change the subject? “I would’ve thought that out of everyone, you’d trust me the most to tell you the truth.” 

“I’m not- That’s not it. I'm sure you’re telling me what you think is true but that doesn’t change the fact that he lied to you.” 

“He didn’t though!” This back and forth was getting really old. “You know what? I’ll prove it to you.” You got off his lap and walked to his room again to change into your clothes. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He sighed, trailing after you. 

“I’m gonna go watch the damn video myself. It’s on the batcomputer and there’s another entrance to the batcave besides the one in the manor. So I’m gonna go watch it, then we’ll know.” 

“Are you crazy? You can’t go there.” 

“Why not? They already blew it up, I doubt they’ll do it again.” You sat on the edge of the bed as you put your shoes on. 

“You’re not going.” He said, crossing his arms over his chest. You stopped tying your shoe and looked up at him.  

“Excuse me?” 

“It’s too dangerous. You’re not going there.” He shrugged and you clenched your jaw. 

“You know what, Jason? Fuck you. Do you think I want to watch a video of the love of my life being tortured and murdered? I’m doing it for you.” 

“For me?” He scoffed, frowning at you. 

“Yes! Because whatever Joker said to fuck with your mind is still affecting you and no matter what I say, you won’t believe me.” You finished tying your shoes, then stood up, walking to the front door, but Jason grabbed your bicep and turned you around. 

“You said you weren’t going to keep me here forever.” 

“I’m not.” He sighed. “I’m going with you.” Even though he more than likely meant to protect you, it gave you a sliver of hope when he agreed to go. Maybe that means he’s going to be more open minded about all this. 

One long, silent drive later and you were entering the batcave. Everything pretty much looked intact- at least no one’s found this yet. You sat down in front of the computer, Jason standing behind you with his arms crossed, scowling. 

“Would’ve been somewhere he wouldn’t think I’d look…” You muttered, running through the options in your head. After a few minutes of trying a couple things, Jason sighed. 

“Can you just admit that you were wrong and this was a waste of time?” You ignored him, continuing to try and guess the password for a locked folder. After the fifth guess, the login screen was replaced with a dark, blurry screen. This has to be it, but now that it’s right in front of you, you’re having second thoughts about watching it. You shouldn’t show Jason either, that’s messed up on so many levels. You can just convince him another way. 

“This was stupid,”

“Play it.” He demanded, staring blankly at the screen with a clenched jaw. 

“Jason…”

“Play it.”

You took a deep breath and, with a shaky hand, pressed play. It opened with Jason, exhausted and broken, the J mark somewhat fresh on his cheek. 

“Have you got something to tell the nice man, Jason?” The sound of Joker's voice made you sick to your stomach. 

“My name.. is Jason Todd.” 

“Who do you hate?”

“Batman.” He only hesitated for a moment, but with the way he said it, you knew he was telling the truth. 

“Excellent.” The video zoomed out suddenly, showing him sitting in a chair, not even restrained. “Of course you do.” Joker rounded the camera and leaned down so only his face was in the frame. At the sight of him, you just felt blinding rage. You could barely even hear the video because you could only concentrate on him. The loud gunshot, followed by Jason being flung backwards, snapped you out of it though. He laid there, not moving or breathing, until the screen went black again and the video ended. 

You sat there, holding your breath and staring at the blank screen, building up the courage to turn around. When you did, you found him still staring at the screen, brows furrowed in confusion as his bottom lip trembled. Then he started shaking his head. 

“That doesn’t make sense. He already replaced me months before that. I saw the picture.”

“Tim helped look for you.” You said quietly, worried you’d set him off. “Honestly, part of me thinks that the whole reason my dad recruited him in the first place was to have more help.” You debated adding this next part. “And are you sure that’s how long it was? Or is that just what he told you.” 

“No… That's not- it’s a trick. Or he edited it or something.” 

“That didn’t happen to you?” You could tell just by his face that it did. 

“I don’t understand.” He muttered, brows furrowing even more. 

“Joker lied to you. He manipulated you. Is that really so hard to believe?” You tried to put the explanation right in front of him, but he still couldn’t see it. 

“But, he-“ 

“No, Jay. Just answer this. Would Joker lie to you?” He nodded. “Would I?” He was frozen, just staring at you. “I know you need more time and I’m not trying to force you back into the family right now, but”

“No.” He said, significantly harsher. “If Bruce was the cause of everything, then I can still get revenge. But if it was Joker… that’s it. I can’t kill him, I can’t do anything.” His voice started shaking and he glanced away from you. 

“Jay…” You stood and cupped his cheek, your thumb brushing over the marred skin that you’ve slightly gotten used to by now. You wanted to tell him that he doesn’t need revenge to get closure, but other than slowly just getting over it, the only way you would be able to get closure was if the Joker died from something worse than a fucking disease. 

“I felt the same way. I wanted to kill him myself for what he did to you and the fact that he just died from a disease feels like mercy. Do you want to know the one thing that helped me start to get over it?” He just barely nodded. 

“Don’t laugh at me for sounding cheesy, but.. love. Getting you back, feeling whole again, just made revenge seem less important. That’s what family does. They make you feel whole again and I can tell you that right now, our family is still missing something and I know you are too.”

“I can’t go back. Not after everything.” He whispered, biting his bottom lip when it started trembling again. 

“You came back to me.” You said softly. 

“That’s different. I didn’t try to kill you.” 

“Jay, I think if I can forgive you trying to kill my dad, then the others will forgive you just fine. They all miss you a lot.”

“I- I don’t…”

“Just start small. We can get lunch or something with Dick, so you can work your way up to it.” You suggested, carefully monitoring his expression so you don’t push him too far. 

“I’ll think about it.” He said quietly and you gave him a small smile. This was the best case scenario- him saying anything other than no. You pulled him into a hug, standing on your toes so he’d be more comfortable, then used one hand to run your fingers through his hair like you used to. 

“You don’t have to be alone anymore. I’m here now, and I know everyone else will be too, if you let them.” You said softly, making his grip tighten around your body as he kept this head in the crook of your neck. 

Chapter five

Tag list

@igotanidea @clairacassidy @phoenixgurl030 @halleest @emmerskiri @randomgurl2326 @darkmercury

[strrykais]

die with a smile

a hwang hyunjin short story

week one

he couldn’t hear the doctor with the buzzing in his ears. he refused to believe it. he was sick. the doctor said cancer. no he felt fine. there was no way he could be sick. the light shaking of his shoulder brought him out of the little daze he was in. 

“hyunjin are you okay? did you hear the doctor.” his friend said. 

the tears in his eyes started to fog up his vision, slowly tumbling out his eyes. the doctor in front of him, pulls out tissues softly handing them to the crying boy.

”i understand this news can be very hard to take in, we are lucky that we were able to catch it in it’s earlier stages. if you don't mind we would like to have you stay here for some testing.” the doctors voice did nothing to help the breaking heart of his. he should be happy they caught it because if it was too late, he didn’t even want to think of that. 

hyunjin nods, his friend patting him on the back saying its going to be okay and that he is in good hands.

a soft knock on the door followed by a girls head poking in with a bright smile. “good afternoon doctor kim. is this the new impatient?” the girl turns her head from the doctor to stare at him. hyunjin felt awkward, his face was tearfilled and you gave him a bright smile. 

“hi yn. yes this is hyunjin, he will be staying here for a while, and how did you come by this news?” the doctor says placing the charts down on his desk. 

“word travels fast; we don't really get many inpatient's anymore. can i walk him?” hyunjin finally looked away at the girl in the doctor's coat leaning fully on the door frame. 

“yn this isnt your job, how many times do i have to sa-“ 

“i know, ill just walk him to nurse lee. im heading that way anyways.” you say practically begging. hyunjin couldn’t understand why you was so eager to walk him to his ending doom. some people love to see others suffer or something.

the doctor sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. you smile walking further in to grab the charts only for the doctor to slam his hand over top of them.

”nice try kid. hyunjin this is yn she will be leading you to the care unit. please just ignore anything she says. she likes to talk alot. also if i can speak to your friend for a little and then i can send him your way.” hyunjin nods, following you out the door. 

the hospital smell was sickening, hyunjin couldn’t get his mind off the devastating news. trying to distract himself, hyunjin watches yn. the little skip in your step, the doctor's coat that seemed a little too big for you. he watched how you interacted with the other doctors laughing or with other patients like himself. It made him sick. there was no reason for someone to be happy in this moment. 

you stopped in front of the nurses station talking to someone. she waves over to him, he slowly takes steps till he standing right next to your smaller form. 

“this is nurse lee they will be taking care of you from now on. trust me you are in gentle hands.” you say bye waving to him and the nurses at the station. hyunjins eyes continue to follow you till you round a corner no longer in sight. the nurse in front of him called him out, then showed him to his room.

masterlist | next

tags : @hannamoon143 @jellyleggz @tajannah-price1 @skzfelixlove

[wrathofrats]

More delta stuff, for more info on delta pls check out this post and this post

Pebble can’t handle what’s happened to his friend.

Warnings for angst, mentions of death, small amount of body horror

I made myself sad as usual, hope you all enjoy <3

-

Pebble has a hard time with change

He has a hard time seeing delta after his element transition. The light gone from his eyes and his cheeks more hollow and gray than usual. A sickly figure of his former self.

Even after delta and omega reassure pebble that delta will be fine, it’s not something he can stand to witness. The sight of him making pebble feel ill, something uncanny in his appearance.

It’s no longer his delta.

Even as he watches the stage from behind his drum set, deltas movements are clunky and unnatural. The way his fingers glide across his guitar seem forced in a way that isn’t voluntary like he’s fighting against himself to keep the notes correct and on time.

He sees omega spend a lot of time with him alone, their voices getting quieter when they think someone can hear them. Pebble catches bits and pieces through doorways and standing in the shadows nearby, careful to not alert them that he’s there.

“It was necessary delta”

“But there’s something wrong, omega you don’t un-“

“You’ll be fine. I know things that can heal you, we need you as my replacement there’s not many other options right now”

“please just look at my arm, this isn’t- isn’t natural” deltas voice wavers as he pulls up his sleeve, bits of flesh on his forearm missing to show the gray bone underneath. Pebble can’t help but gasp at the sight.

“Come with me back to the infirmary, pull your sleeve down” omega grabs deltas hand, briskly walking away with him in tow.

Pebble stays hidden for longer than is needed. More to process what he saw than anything else. His mouth goes dry as his stomach turns with the brief memory of his friend's skin physically decaying and pulling away from his bones. He wants to cry, run after them and demand to know what’s going on because the situation doesn’t make sense to him. He doesn’t understand why delta is even allowed to be left alone in his state let alone be on stage. He doesn’t understand why no one has helped him yet.

The confrontation with omega is more than he wanted it to be. Overcome with emotions and a strange sense of grief he can’t push back down his throat.

“Why can’t you fucking *fix him* that’s your job isn’t it? You’re going to-“

“Pebble stop-“ omega tries to reason

“No! You’re going to watch your bandmate decay in front of you and just go about your day? You can live with yourself knowing delta is practically dying and you won’t save him?” Pebble practically yells as tears stream down his cheeks. His words are harsh and cut like razor blades through omegas usually calm demeanor. The look of guilt and anger on omegas face only adds fuel to pebbles fire, he knows that omega knows something’s wrong. He wants the reaction. He wants *something* to justify how he feels.

“I’m trying I promise, it’s not as simple as we thought it would be”

“Not as simple as you thought? You’re the reason he’s like this. You let him do that to himself and you didn’t stop him” pebbles voice has a wail to it like he’s trying to reason with himself as to why his friend is a shell of who he once was.

“Pebble they wouldn’t let me! I was ordered to let him. I was ordered to keep an eye on him and not interfere because we needed a replacement, I cant-“

“You can’t or you won’t?”

“Pebble there’s no way to fix him.” Omegas voice cracks. A realization they both understood but didn’t want to accept.

“What?” Pebble hiccups

“I don’t know what he did when he forced the quintessence into himself. I’ve tried to help him but we don’t have many options, his element is rejecting him”

A static numb feeling bubbles in pebbles chest as he mulls over the words in his head. His knees buckle beneath him as he favors staring at the ground instead of having to look omega in the eyes any longer. He doesn’t flinch when omega drops to embrace him, or when omega attempts to wipe the tears from his eyes that won’t stop even though he doesn’t think he can feel anything at all right now.

“What’s going to happen to him?” Pebble finally speaks after a couple minutes of silence.

“We don’t know”

[redwidow616]

Okay here goes, I finally have time to write my eras tour essay:

Just a little psa this got a lot longer than I expected, especially the pre-show part, so just be aware of that and ofc you don't have to read it @prisongang

Pre-show:

As some of you might know the stupid ass european football cup was in germany this year, which meant I had to go to a different city for eras, that was kinda annoying because I had to spent even more money on train tickets and a hostel, but I made it and everything was fine so it's good, also props to the Deutsche Bahn for neither of my trains being delayed l. Okay so I arrived at the train station and there were soooooooo many swifties there, it was crazy, looking back I probably should have started trading bracelets then but I'm still kinda shy so I didn't. In Hamburg I arrived at my hostel, checked in, got ready and then immediately left to go to the stadium. In the station from where i took a train there, there were also so so so many swifties and I even got some compliments on my outfit 🤗. When we all got off the train we still had to walk for like half an hour until there was really anything there, but it was okay, I also saw a lot of parents there which I thought was also really cool. Now comes a kind of confession because I still feel weird about saying this, but I had a VIP ticket (pls do NOT ask me how much it was or I'll just disappear into the earth from shame) and the VIP entry started at 3 pm and for me that was when the line I was in started moving, admittedly pretty fast. I was there around 2:30 maybe a little later but the line was already really long, I couldn't even really see the stadium. As it started moving I could also see other people sitting and waiting in the regular line (it was by far not as crazy as in München, but they were still there probably hours before they could get in), there was also a merch stand somewhere but I didn't go there and I actually didn't get merch at all, the opportunity just didn't really arise but don't worry I'm bot sad about it. As the line was moving and we could finally see the stadium it started raining a little, but since the line was moving so fast it wasn't really that bad. Then I was finally in the stadium around 4 pm so I still had two hours to go till paramore and I used those for doing nothing and just sitting on the floor so I could jeep my spot. Even for being in the VIP section I think I was very close to the stage, I was like 4th or 5th row at first and later it shifted a bit so I was pretty much 3rd row by the end. In front of me were some girls who all seemed to have just net there and were talking a little and I even talked to one of them who was from my city and my age which was really nice. While we were waiting it rained multiple times, and after like one and a half hours I couldn't sit anymore and I stood up so the whole floor was wet and I just stood but it was fine cus paramore came on not long after. Also while we were waiting the screen played some of taylors music videos and behind the scenes clips to those videos.

Paramore:

I'm not really a fan of them, I know some of their more famous songs but it was still really fun screaming along to the songs I knew or even the choruses of songs i didn't really know, after they were done we still had to wait like half an hour for taylor and it started raining again and honestly at that point I was not that excited about it, even though I know that people say rain shows are the best but at that moment I didn't really feel that way, but that would change soon..

Lover:

So the clock appeared a few minutes before and of course everyone was screaming and stuff and when it was done the dancers with the seashells? (idk what to call them u know what I mean) came out and I was soooooo close to them it was crazy, I also took a video of that whole part until right after taylor came up on stage and then I was just gone, I screamed the lyrics and danced and just didn't care about the rain anymore, even though it got worse and worse but the people are right it is so much fun to dance in the rain with taylor, really as soon as the show actually started I forgot that I didn't want it to rain because it really is that amazing of an experience. I loved this ehole act so much, I was really close to the door where the dancers came out and where they go at the end and so I was also very close to the Lover house and really close to taylor dring the man and yntcd which was so amazing and so fun, during Lover she wasn't that close anymore but I still took a video of the lover bridge cus I love that song and that album in general so much, I did miss the archer a little bit but I wouldn't say it missing diminished the experience it just would have been nice to have

Fearless:

First of all the transition was crazy, because NO ONE FUCKING TOLD ME THERE WOULD BE REAL SPARKS COMING DOWN FROM TOP OF THE SCREEN THINGY??? I took a video of this too cus I was so surprised and it looked really pretty, during fearless the song i was so so lucky because taylor and the band were practically standing right in front of me, i was so close to here i still can't believe i got that lucky for one of the songs i love so much, and i also have a video of the intro and I had so much fun and danced and screamed my lungs out sm during love story and ybwm, and ofc I got the outfit i hoped for which i was really happy about but during this era the rain got really really bad and while it was still so much fun i was a little scared for my phone so i didn't take any more videos or photos than the ones in the beginning

Red:

During the beginning of this i was also so lucky because the dancer who did the thing with the chest was on the base of the stage so still really close to me and I could see her so clearly. This was probably one of the most fun parts because i didn't really have anything i wanted to take a video of except a short one during atw so i was really in the moment and had so much fun just dancing care free and singing. When taylor gave the hat to that girl it was so so cute because she was so excited and i could also see that really well on the big screen and she gave taylor a friendship bracelet, which she wore for the rest of the set and it wa just so adorable and relatable how she was freaking out, i don't think I've seen any other child be this emotional over getting the 22 hat. There was also confetti flying around during this set but everything was wet so you couldn't really pick it up

Speak Now:

The Intro to this was also so beautiful, i saw it the first night of the european leg on a life stream which was cutting out so i didn't see everything but I knew I had to take a video of it and I did. The dress taylor wore was also so beautiful and again like during fearless she walked right past me and was so so close I couldn't believe it, i have my best pictures of the evening probably from this era and at least one where it looks like she is looking directly at me if you zoom in, which I am so excited about and ofc Enchanted was so beautiful to experience life, i loved it so much, it was breath taking

Reputation:

Again taylor was so close to me at some points during this set and during lwymmd were the dancers are in glass boxes i had such a great view and during the transition from dbm to lwymmd I think Paul was standing pretty close to where I was and was throwing guitar picks into the crowd which was also so exciting even though i didn't catch any. And of course 123 lgb was a religious experience

FolkMore:

I did miss the seven poem intro, because i saw it once on a lifestream and thought it's inclusion in that way was so beautiful, but of course the snake transition makes a lot of sense. Like with the lover house, the folklore cabin was also really close to me but what was a bit of a fail was that when taylor layed down on the roof during cardigan i couldn't see her anymore from where i was standing but i could see her on the screen so it was okay. Betty was also really special to me, idek why but i was so happy seeing it live, btw the rain had already long stopped at this point so i could film and take photos again without worrying. Champagne problems was also so close to me even though taylor was kinda hidden behind her piano but being that close to her during such an emotional song was still amazing and afterwards we were so loud for so long. I am also so happy about having seen my tears ricochet live, cus it was one of the first taylor songs i loved, it means so much to me and i love it's performance on this tour. Marjorie was also very emotional for me, vecause it reminds me of my own grandma who died a little over to years ago when i was just starting to become a swiftie and all the lyrics really resonate with me, I also took a video of the bridge and i think i can hear myself choking up a little during it and i always cry when i rewatch this video. I did miss tolerate it too a bit, mainly because I also would have a had an amazing view of it from where i was, but also because i love the lyrics and i love evermore. Willow was really beautiful too, i love that performance so much especially the little instrumental part in between the verses

1989:

Like with red i probably had the most careless fun during this era, because i didn't take any fotos or videos and just danced and had fun and it was incredible, i loved it, it really was the most fun I've probably ever had, all the chants were a lot of fun too and there was also the surprise that THERE WAS FIRE ON STAGE AGAIN!! during bad blood fire comes up from the stage multiple times in columns and the first time i had my back to it so i could only feel the warmth but after that i saw it and it was sooo crazy, but also added a lot to the performance i think

TTPD:

This is probably the era I've seen most often, especially icdiwabh cus it's right before surprise songs, but it was still amazing, because it was also finally properly dark during this set, which made taking fotos a luttle harder cus everything was white, but i still have a very good one from fortnite. So high school was so much idc if people don't like it, i love it (sorry poppy, maybe it's cus i still was in high school until recently), but it's fine, like i said i had so much fun during it and during waolom, because that performance is also just crazy. During tsmwel taylor was really close to me again and that set in general is just amazing with all it's theatrical aspects

Surprise Songs:

Of course I have some favourites, which i would've been absolutely ecstatic about, but the songs I got are still better than anything I could've imagined. First ofc teardrops on my guitar and i am so happy i got a debut song, no matter which one, I love debut and since it has no set I'm so happy about getting a surprise songs from it. It being mashed up with the last time made me lose my mind, because i love that song so much and I still can't believe i heard it live, it was one of my first favourites from red, and I was singing along to it so loud, i am so happy about getting this. And we were happy x happiness. Idek what to say these are two songs she's never played live before, how lucky am i?? I got fearless vault, no matter which one i am so happy about this!! And mashed up with happiness that makes it even more unbelievable , i was staring at the huge screen the whole time, absolutely mesmerised (cus i couldn't see taylor because if the slope of the stage) i kinda wish i would've taken a video, but I'm also really happy i was just present and really watched and listened to it (in general i think my favourite videos from that evening are the shaky one cus when i watch them i know that i wasn't looking at my phone while taking them, i was looking at the real thing), so yeah that was crazy

Midnights:

Especially during anti hero i could see taylor so well again cus she was directly in front of the screen, practically walking along bext to me and i have some really amazing pictures of this. Also during lavender haze she was right in front of me sometimes. Midnight rain was also so incredible, i love this song so much, have done so forever, it's so relatable to me and I'm so happy to have a video of it. I loved all the outfits for this et too so much, and at the end of karma everything looked so amzing with the confetti and all the colourfull jackets and just everything (sadly the floor was still wet so i couldn't take any confetti :()

Afterwards:

After the show i finally got to trading bracelets, i gave the girl from my city, from the beginning two and traded more with other people, but we were ushered out of the stadium pretty quickly and sadly I lost that girl without knowing hef name or having her number, as we got out it was just a sea of swifties out there in the dark, but it was so chill considering how many people there were and the police was also taking care, cus there was a tunnel which could've probably been a risk (#loveparade) and they made sure there wouldn't be too many people in there so everyone was safe and i actually made it to my hostel in probably under two hours which was a lot better than i expected and at some point while we were waiting someone ofc played taylor music.

So it was probably the most incredible experience of my life, everyone ther was just amazing and still can't believe it really happened, cus it seems like a dream. I miss it so much and i just want to go again and again. I would love to just go one time to take videos and fotos of everything and one time to just enjoy it and jot worry about that stuff, but I am still so happy that i got to be there and got to experience it.

tagging the prison gang so u guys know i finally write my essay @anixknowsnothin @noproof-youjustknow @pardonmydelays @mymuses-acquiredlikebruises @measuredmotion

[front-facing-pokemon]

Yes, Honedge!

Something i'd like to point out about its face:

It doesn't have a goofy face, the holes in the scabbard just make it look that way. In reality, it just has a single eye.

With that in mind, could you please do a version without the scabbard?

iiii figured this was common knowledge enough to not warrant an additional form, but alright:

some of the guard disappeared but it's okay. i never even saw that part of the scabbard as a face—the blue eye is very obviously an eye. i don't know if anyone actually thought that was its face. however, i do find it interesting that even after removing the scabbard textures, it still has textures for that "face" remaining:

which implies it's a face more than anything i've seen of the matter before this point

anyway there's so many asks in the box right now so let's just go through all of them:

in order from oldest to newest, here we go:

this is true. most of the models are shiny, unless they have a "colladamax" variant

ahh it's fine. i considered it might have been a request but i also doubted it considering pangoro was literally next so i assumed you were just excited. me complaining about requests was unrelated—another ask i got around the same time

well then maybe it's not a bad thing. you certainly phrased it like one, it seems, but that might just be unfortunate connotations with the way you said it? glad we could clear up the confusion i guess

we do need more snakes, but i also like the bipedal pokémon, as a furry. back when everyone was begging sprigatito not to stand up, i saw through their thinly-veiled furry hate and was begging sprigatito to go against the grain and stand up anyway. and then they did and now meowscarada is one of my favorite pokémon. get fucked, normies (i am sorry for saying this)

↑ i didn't know this until i looked it up! this is interesting. stuff like the male version learning misty terrain but the female version learning more type coverage. this is very strange but i like it. only girls can use magical leaf and charge beam sorry boys

thank you! i can explain it. it is because pokémon are getting very close and staring at you as for the inspiration for this blog, it was mostly snivy. i remember one day thinking that snivy's big nose would make it look very silly from the front, and being like "damn. someone should compile a list of what every pokémon looks like from the front. damn. that would make a good tumblr blog bc some of those would be really funny. damn. i should do that" and then i did. but that was back in 2020—pretty soon after i ended up starting college which didn't allot me a lot of time for updating this blog, and although i kept swearing i'd go back, somewhat soon after that i went through a breakup and just wanted to take a while for myself. a bit after that, tumblr user sewatari reblogged one of the posts on this blog again (the weedle post, i believe?) and singlehandedly revived this blog by reminding me that they still cared about it. and that's fucking awesome?? tbh?? so thank them for this blog's continued existence. if you scroll waaaayyyy back far enough in the archive, you'll probably see that miniature saga. the images back from the first gen and onwards were a little bit icky as i got grips on how to actually go about this blog and manipulate the models in the right way to get them to work, which is why i can never really recommend folks scroll all the way back in the blog, but it's a look back into my own personal history, i suppose

apologies for breaking the magic, although i don't think anyone keeps up with the "i am a pokémon taking real live pictures of other pokémon with the camera right in their face" lore because no one pays attention to the backgrounds of the images (which used to change much more than they do now, but that's just because no one ever noticed or pointed them out. the background is not the focus of the image—it's the pokémon itself; thus, why look at the background? staging the pokémon in a setting used to be important to me, but now i don't worry about it and cycle between the same few backgrounds) or the asks, really. it's the commentary in the tags everyone comes here for, of course

she's a fully-grown woman with a house

then you'll love the top of this post

they probably wouldn't think it looks like anything because they aren't familiar with what honedge looks like so they would just picture nothing in their head. or they would just make up what they Think honedge might look like based on its name, or something, and then imagine that front-facing

i don't know which one of these is the real one. but we have some discrepancy here. also apparently this is a wider-spread belief than i thought

OKAY. i think that's all of them. if you read all the way here to the end, that's. powerful. for those of you who stuck around this long, i'm live right now with a test stream having some breakfast and playing pokémon. come join in, if you're bored this morning!

edit: it's over but i'll probably do it again some time, more likely at a more reasonable hour next time. considering the idea of doing a fully voiced pmd series—perhaps that'll be the next stream. or i'll leave another test one for it. who knows!