#anyway! sleep shiny number 2!!

[princehatterene]

not the blue duck i’ve been looking for but still cool!!

[watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees]

Back Home

for now this is where the story ends chronologically

did i manage to mention 2 characters ive never even spoken of before? yes! that is to say, the story's far from finished, this is just the latest current event in the timeline as i think of it (edit: they're introduced in the honeymoon chapters so they aren't that random anymore)

masterlist

previous

TW: ptsd, whumpee visiting whumper, lots of dehumanisation, very fucked up dynamic changes

Emery had stared at the shiny surface of Luke's business card for what seemed like hours. She should have ripped it in half and thrown it at him before heading back to the courtroom, instead she pocketed it and only remembered she had it at home.

She was too anxious to sit down, and placed her phone on the kitchen counter staring at the numbers she copied from the card.

Was she really about to flush all the progress she made down the drain and call him? The man who kept her as a pet for years, Luke Fletcher, who made her life a living hell even after she escaped, a small piece of him still stuck in her brain like years old gum stuck to a bench in the park.

It was true that she needed the money, but was it really worth it becoming indebted to that monster?

She pressed on the call button without thinking further. It rang loud and clear each beep sending shivers down her spine. She prayed he wouldn't pick it up. Then she could've had a peace of mind, and when he inevitably called back, revenge would taste sweet as she would disconnect the line.

"Fletcher-Richards, how can I help?" she shuddered, the familiar phrase had been burnt into her mind, of course he gave her his private number. She lost all sense of what she was about to say. No words came to mind she just stared at the phone.

"Em?" he asked, figuring it out quickly. She swallowed hard.

"Yes" she confirmed.

"Great, I was wondering when you'd call. Listen, I looked into your lawyer better, and I severely overestimated him, he doesn't stand a chance. I was thinking-"

"I'm sorry, S-" she stopped herself just in time not to say it "sorry, but I don't want to talk. I just want to know if you meant it? About the money?" Emery hoped the correction was smooth enough that he didn't notice.

"I wouldn't have offered if I didn't" he scoffed "Just hear me out okay?"

"Sure" she sighed. No matter how hard she tried to convince herself she was allowed to say no, she didn't actually know how.

"I can give you the number of another lawyer, who'll help you out and maybe even get you a good deal. He's the second best in the city"

"The best one wasn't available, huh?" she half whispered it, but Luke still replied.

"I don't think the same person can represent both the defense and prosecution in the same trial" Emery knew that he was laughing. As if the whole situation was a joke between old friends "I'll arrange it for you, just come by tomorrow"

"To-tomorrow?" Way too soon.

"Would you prefer to drag it out a few more days?" Of course not. She knew she wouldn't sleep at night anyway.

"No. Sorry"

"I'm home all day, the gate will open for your car"

...

She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. There still was some hope they'd miss the sound and she could just leave. Tell Luke noone opened the door when he inevitably calls.

"Good morning, come on in" he greeted her with a bright smile and stepped aside to let her in. The familiar scent of the house filled up her lungs and for a moment she thought she'd burst into tears.

"Make yourself comfortable" he gestured towards the living room to her left "The papers are in my office, I'll be right back"

She stayed frozen in place until she lost sight of him as he disappeared in the stairwell.

Nothing had changed. The floor was still covered by the long red running carpet she cleaned so many times before. The walls were the same eggshell white colour, warm and comforting to anyone, who hadn't been confined to this hell of a place.

She made her way to the dining table and pulled a chair out for herself. She took a second before she sat down on it and tried to calm herself. It was just like any chair at home. She didn't have to kneel next to it ever again.

"Damn, look what the cat dragged in" A chill ran through her so deep she felt it in her bones. She made eye-contact with Cole, who casually made his way over to the table and sat down across from her.

Emery couldn't do anything, just stare at him like a deer in the headlights of a truck that definitely won't slow down or swerve to avoid it.

Everything was wrong. The phone she had in her pocket burnt as it was something she's not supposed to have, the air around her neck felt freezing without the collar around, and she was sitting by the dining table, eye to eye with her ma-.

"Is the prodigal daughter finally returning?" he teased with a grin. As if he didn't know why she was there.

"No" she forced out and looked away. She was on the verge of tears again.

"I'm kidding" he laughed and laid back in his seat, his gaze burnt holes in the side of her face "Luke will be right back"

She nodded and risked a glance over to Cole again. He barely changed if he did at all. His skin was dark brown and rich as ever, from travelling all around the globe, vacationing together with Luke in the most luxurious sunny beaches, where even the sun shines differently, whenever they could. His hair short and dark, immaculate. He shot her an award winning smile.

"I had to ask, just to make sure, now that you're here you cold stay a while" There it was again, words that pierced her skin and twisted like a blade.

"Everything okay here?" Luke entered and Emery could breathe again. She hated how relieving his presence was, as if he already started lulling her into a sense of safety that he would rip away for his own entertainment, amending it later with comfort only he provided, just to take that away too, in a vicious cycle over and over again.

"Perfectly, were just catching up" Cole smiled innocently at his husband.

"Here's the check," he placed a stack of papers on the table and picked them apart to show her. Emery was glad there was something to focus on "this is the private number of the lawyer I told you about, I talked to him earlier and he's willing to take over your case. Call him. These are some statements you might need, copies of our pet licenses," he flipped through the pages and pulled the last document from the bottom of the stack.

"And this one, is your intake form, signed by you and two others who were present as witnesses. Don't let it get into wrong hands" she stared at her own handwriting.

"Why are you giving this to me?" she looked up at the man confused.

"Well, owner's keep these of pets usually, given the circumstances I think it's for you to have"

In a twisted way that was the most reassuring sentence she has heard since her escape. No amount of progress she made with her therapist had brought this amount of relief. She hated that it was Luke granting it.

"Emery!" she jumped from her seat and turned around.

The pet stood dead in her tracks, just before they collided and looked over to her owner for permission. He just nodded with a fond smile.

Emery buried her face in the other woman's wild, blonde curls. She took in the familiar scent and finally let her tears roll.

Alyssa sobbed into the crook of her neck, she caressed the locks of hair that barely reached her shoulder, and let herself be lost in the familiar embrace of Emery's bony hands.

"I never thought I'd see you again"

"I'm so sorry. I should've brought you with"

"Okay, that's a step too far" Luke placed a hand on Aly's back, who immediately unfolded herself from the embrace and dropped to her knees. The man's hand slid up her spine while she did so and found it's way through her hair, gently massaging at her scalp.

Emery took an instinctive, horrified step back.

"I respect you, Em, but Alyssa's my property still. She never was and never will be going anywhere, right love?" Aly nodded.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that" she muttered, suddenly far too aware of the space she was taking up standing.

"Hm, sure you didn't" She would take Alyssa as far away from this place as possible if she could.

"Come on, Darling" Cole interrupted, still sitting at the table, clearly enjoying the scenario that unfolded "They haven't seen each other in so long, let them catch up"

Luke sighed, frustrated, he let go of Aly's hair.

"Fine, but the puppy stays on her knees, where she belongs"

"No, I can't-" I can't become one of you. I can't do that to her "I have to go" she needed to get out.

"Please!" Emery's protest was cut short and she made eye contact with Alyssa, pleading for her to stay just a little longer.

"I'm sorry, I can't-" she tried, but her determination crumbled as fast as it built up.

"I'd hate to keep you here against your will, but you don't look alright, stay for a coffee?" Emery scoffed, absolutely bewildered by the words that left the man's mouth. I'd hate to keep you here against your will. No you wouldn't, you'd enjoy it the most you monster.

"Sure" she locked eyes with Aly again, and attempted to smile at her. She sat down and the pet was quick to snuggle up to the side of her leg, resting her head against her knee.

They both flinched as Luke walked past them to the kitchen.

Her hand hovered over Aly's head tentatively. She never imagined to be put in that position, it was almost too much to handle.

The pet looked up at her, pleading, as if to say it's okay. Emery remembered far too well how much comfort it brought for her hair to be played with, to be given an ounce of comfort.

Alyssa's hair was thick and soft, she tried to avoid getting her hand pull at the tangles that formed no matter how many times she brushed them out.

"How do you take it? Milk and sugar right?" Luke asked from behind. She used to. Now she couldn't bare to look at any sweet beverage's.

"Black, please" she corrected and Luke hummed in acknowledgment.

"So, Em" Cole leaned forward in his seat, commanding her attention back to him "What have you been up to these past few years?"

"Therapy, mostly" she answered bitterly, no idea where the sudden courage possessed her from. Maybe it was soothing to have Alyssa curled up next to her. No, she couldn't think like that.

He laughed "And how's that working out for you?"

"Cole" Luke frowned, entering Emery's line of sight again, balancing three cups of coffee on a tray.

"Sorry" he replied, still smirking. Of course he wasn't sorry. Luke placed the cup in front of her.

"Thank you, S-" There it was again. Old habits die hard "Thanks"

They sipped their coffees in awkward silence, that only the soft clinks of the saucers broke.

"Can I ask Alyssa something?"

"You're welcome to" Luke shrugged.

"How have things been here? Since I- since..." she struggled to finish. Aly still looked up at Luke for approval before answering.

"Good" came the well-trained reply "I- it's just... I miss you. And I miss Lucky"

"Why, what happened to her?"

"Let's not bring Lucky up, it upsets Aly" Luke moderated. Alyssa nodded miserably "Tell her about your little playdates, puppy"

"Beau is here a lot" she took a deep breath to try and steady her voice. What the fuck happened to Lucky? "I'm really happy that Sir allows it"

"Beau is... hers?" Alyssa tensed up. Luke just nodded "I really have to go now" she stood up abruptly, pushing Alyssa away. She grabbed the papers and crumpled them into her bag as fast as it was possible.

None of them made a move to stop her, as she hurried towards the front door.

Luke stood up and followed her outside.

"Will you be alright driving home like this?" he asked cautiously. She couldn't speak, but nodded and sat in the driver's seat. "I'm sorry, about Aly bringing all that up..."

"It's not... It's fine. Not her fault" she shook her head. Bile rising up her throat as she thought about how the day would end for Alyssa for the infraction, unfortunately she had a solid idea.

She slammed the door in and started the car.

[fionajames]

Hey, Jamie. Sorry if I’m bombarding you with requests. I’m going through a really hard time right now and it sucks and might sound weird but your writing actually makes it a lot better and I’ve been re reading a lot of your recent works to feel better.

Anyway I’m not here to talk about myself sorry. Requesting time once again: can i please have prompt #13 “I thought you were dead” with your choice of characters and maybe a little horror and/or gore?

Thanks, sincerely, your number one fan, Sha 🫡

If I’m asking too much or too many times, tell me and I’ll chill

missing - my ocs

SHA IF YOU STOP REQUESTING IM DELETING MY ACC

DONT STOP I LOVE YOUR REQUESTS, PLS MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I LOVE WRITING FOR THEM

I totally understand that and its not weird. I hope you feel better soon and im very very very grateful that my writing helps you.

alright you gave me the option of whom ever oc i choose so here is Satsuki Noriko an oc of mine. I introduced her in this: https://www.tumblr.com/fionajames/731230304426131456/ocs-pt-2?source=share&ref=fionajames post and if your interesting I did a smoll drabble about her first meeting with rex: https://www.tumblr.com/fionajames/731242121789636608/satsuki-meets-rex?source=share&ref=fionajames.

anyways, people REQUEST MORE IM BLESSED EVERY TIME I SEE A NOTIFICATION ON THE INBOX SECTION WHEN I ENTRE TUMBLR.

ENJOY!!!!!

Satsuki grunted as she spat on the ground of her cell, attempting to get the metallic taste of her own blood out of her mouth. She shivered as she shuffled backwards on her knees towards the wall, rubbing her wrists in pain. The cuffs bounding her wrists were so tight the skin underneath them was red and raw, but her captives didn’t care about that.

Satsuki breathed in deeply, savouring the feeling of the cold air on her tongue to try and block out the ache of her throat when it throbbed from the brittle wind scratching at it. It had been so long since she’d been in this cell, and the only way she was able to keep track of the days was by the light coming in through the tiny window at the top of the wall.

The guards outside her cell and the others paced back and forth, face hidden by their helmets. Satsuki coughed as she shuffled to the metal bed she slept on, using her tied up hands to haul herself to her feet. The bed was beyond uncomfortable - it was probably more comfortable to sleep on the floor - but Satsuki relished the thin sheet she’d been provided as a blanket. It hurt too much to lie on her back so she lay on her side instead, waiting for the call from the guards. 

“Lights out!” One of the Mandalorians called - as though there were lights to turn off - as he marched away from the cell corridor in his shiny black armour. Satsuki hated that sleek, black armour more than anything. 

‘Lights out’ meant to sleep on your bed - not on the floor - facing the wall so the guards could see your bound hands. Satsuki listened to the quiet rustling of clothes as the other prisoners copied her, clambering onto their metal slabs for the night. 

A few moments later, the Mandoralian guards of the night shift entered and Satsuki watched the faint shadows of the bars from her window fade, her signal that it was nighttime. 

Sleep never came easy to any of the prisoners, but at least they were allowed it. Satsuki knew that every single one of the prisoners - including herself - feared the day where sleep was not permitted, and so they forced themselves to sleep. Satsuki squeezed her dull black eyes shut - dull from the days of hiding in the dark - and waited for uneasy and silent sleep to take her. 

                                -

“Lights on!” A voice shouted and Satsuki shook herself awake, blinking away the tears in her eyes away as she scrambled from her bed to her cell bars, collapsing on her knees. 

The sleekly armoured Mandolorian returned - or at least it looked like the same one, it was hard to tell when they all bore matching armour - clutching a metal tray. He shoved it through the gap in the bars near the floor and Satsuki managed a ‘thank you’ as she bent down. 

No-hands eating was rather hard - she’d discovered - as she took the rations bar in her mouth and tilted her head back, letting it fall into her mouth and chewing hurriedly. The Mandolorian reached through the bars and clicked with his mouth. Satsuki stood up quickly as the guard pressed a cup of water to her lips and gently tipped it back.

He - Satsuki could tell it was a boy - refilled the cup and let her drink from it again, as she savoured the taste of the fresh cold water. After she’d finished the second cup, Satsuki watched as the Mandolorian filled the third cup to the brim, letting her drink from it again. But when she was done, she noticed something at the bottom of the cup. The Mandolorian tilted the cup back so the contents fell on the floor and without a moments hesitation, Satsuki placed her foot over the object. 

“Hey, what do you think you're doing!” The Mandolorian shouted but Satsuki could see from his body language that he was faking - acting - for whatever reason she did not know. “Get back to your wall!” Satsuki nodded and did as she was told, dragging her foot along the ground to bring the objects with her. The Mandolorian took the tray and left - but she knew he would return shortly to stand guard. Satsuki bent down and lifted her foot, using her hands to awkwardly pick up the two objects, placing them in front of her so her body hid it from everyone but her.

Satsuki managed to somehow stifle a gasp open seeing the reveal of the two objects - eyes widening as her mouth fell open in a gape. Footsteps behind her signalled the guard had returned to his post, but she didn’t turn around. 

In front of her was a small black remote with two singular buttons alongside a piece of crispy, old flimsi that read six simple words. Six simple words that changed Satsuki’s life. ‘I’m getting you out of here’ was scribbled on the paper in messy, Galactic Aurebesh. 

Hesitantly, Satsuki looked back at the remote and at the shining green and red buttons. Glancing behind her once - seeing only her guard - Satsuki bent down and pressed the green button with her nose roughly. She gasped when the pressure on her wrists ceased, and the cuffs clattered to the ground behind her. Satsuki hurriedly shuffled around to hide all three objects as she massaged her bruised and abused wrists, licking the cuts with a grimace. They’d need treating. If we can get out of her, she reminded herself, glancing at the Mandolorian who was watching her carefully. 

She moved a ‘thank you’ and he gave her the smallest of nods. 

Then, all of a sudden, the Mandolorian whipped his pistol out of his holster and shot two nearby guards, their bodies falling to the ground slightly within Satsuki’s view. She gaped and then stood up, rushing to the bars as the Mandolorian ducked away from blasts, shooting at the remaining guards who collapsed lifelessly. 

They were not expecting a fight, Satsuki inwardly mused with wide eyes. The Mandolorian turned to her and typed a code into the keypad. The red-haired girl watched - frozen - as the gate slid open, the bars no longer in front of her. 

“C’mon,” the Mandolorian commanded but Satsuki didn’t hear as she stared open-mouthed at the empty space where the bars had been. The Mandolorian snorted and shrugged off his helmet, revealing a boy around Satsuki’s age with fluffy black hair that covered his face, dark swirling eyes and natural-tan skin. He rolled his eyes at her. “Come on, Noriko, let’s go!”

Satsuki could barely comprehend the open-doorway in front of her as she accepted the pistol he shoved into her chest and scrambled after him, glancing back at the remaining prisoners. “Can’t we free them?” She asked in a hushed voice as they reached the exit. 

The Mandolorian rolled his eyes again and slammed a button on the keypad, watching all the doors open. “Happy?” He snarked with a sarcastic grin, grabbing her wrist and dragging her through the doorway and up the stairs. 

“Who are you?” Satsuki shouted at him as he ran his free hand through his hair, tossing the fluffy wisps around as he let go of Satsuki’s wrist and grasped his other pistol. 

“I’m Aramis Yvain,” he replied as she tripped over a step clumsily. Aramis ducked to pull her back up to her feet, continuing to hurry up the stairwell. “I’m getting you home.”

“Why?” Satsuki huffed as Aramis opened the next door. She rolled through the open doorway and fell into a sort-of crouch, placing her pistol-gripping-hand in her open palm to steady it as she shot down two Mandolorians. The remaining three spun around and Aramis quickly fired three blasts, two hitting their targets and the final missing. Satsuki rotated sharply and shot the final. 

“Impressive,” he muttered, ignoring her question. Satsuki grinned proudly before her stomach twisted at the reminder of Rex - who taught her how to fight like that. “I don’t think you deserve to be here.”

“Thank you,” Satsuki told Aramis as she watched him open the door ahead, showing no relief when it was empty. “For saving me, and believing me.”

“Well,” Aramis smirked as he opened the next door, abruptly tackling the Mandolorian ahead. Satsuki shot the other three whilst her companion grabbed his opponent in a choke hold and brought back his arm sharply, killing the man. “No one else was going to.”

Satsuki nodded sadly, knowing the truth that everyone else thought she had died. It shook her to the bone as she thought about her friends and family. Hopefully they’d been upset about her ‘death’, as she’d be devastated if they didn’t care.

“How do you plan on getting us out of here?” The red-haired girl asked as they continued through the base, shooting and killing everyone they saw. 

“Well,” Aramis began, kicking a guy in the face before shooting him in the chest. “Assuming that comm you had on you can contact a friend, we’re going to get it back from the belongings room.”

Satsuki grinned wildly, knowing that the comm he was talking about was connected to Rex’s channel, meaning she’d be able to contact the Captain and 501st with it. “Of course, my new friend.”

Aramis rolled his eyes at the mention of being her ‘new friend’ and shot her opponent. Satsuki jumped over his crouched figure and shot the Mandolorian behind him. 

Then the door in front of her opened quickly, and a group of Mandalorians entered the room. They fired quickly and Aramis dropped to the ground, watching as Satsuki did the same but… differently. “Noriko!” He screamed as he scrambled to her figure, dragging her collapsed body behind a cargo crate as he killed the Mandolorians quickly. Aramis sucked in a breath as he studied the harsh black wound on her shoulder, meeting her raven-eyes with a horrified expression. “That doesn’t look good.”

“Doesn’ feel good ei’er,” Satsuki muttered, her face paling as it scrunched up with pain. She whimpered. “Aramis I don’ wanna die.”

“Hush, Noriko,” he told her, cradling her body as he pulled a canteen of water off of his belt, pouring it onto a cloth and dabbing it on her wound. Satsuki cried out but he persisted. “You’re going to be okay.” He told her sternly, as though it were an order. 

Aramis pulled Satsuki up and draped her arms over his shoulders and her legs around his waist, carrying her like a baby as he continued to the belongings room. “We’re almost there,” he assured her, shooting down another few Mandolorians before they had time to even register the arrival of the pair. 

“‘Hat’s good,” Satsuki murmured, eyes closing as she tried to push against the pain. Aramis smiled grimly at her attempt to stay awake as he entered the next room.

“We’re here,” he told her, placing her down on a cargo crate gently as he hurried around the room. “Noriko, Noriko, Noriko” Aramis muttered as he glanced at each box, searching for the one labelled as Satsuki’s. “Aha!” He cried out as he yanked a wooden box down from a high shelf, breaking it open on the floor and rummaging through the objects.

A comm fell into Aramis’ palm and he tossed it to the injured girl as he gathered the rest of her stuff. “Comm your friends, quickly!”

Satsuki muttered something under her breath before pressing the button. “Rex this is Satsuki, Captain Rex come in,” she called into the device as Aramis left her side. He began muttering his own name under his breath and then gasped from out of sight. 

“Aha!” Amaris exclaimed as he tugged a box down and began changing out-of-sight from Satsuki. The girl continued attempting to comm her friend and frowned when she received no response. “Ya like?” Amaris asked as he stepped into view. He’d ditched the sleek black amour and was wearing black jeans, a grey t-shirt and a black leather jacket. He had three silver rings on each hand and a dark brown belt with a holster on his right side. 

“Lookin’ badass,” Satsuki mused as she yawned, rubbing her eyes. “Captain Rex, do you copy?” Amaris’ grin dropped at the silent response before a beep from the comm made both of their faces light up.

“I copy,” a familiar voice replied - monotone and emotionless. Satsuki frowned. “Who is this?” Amaris raised an eyebrow at the girl who offered a short shrug.

“Rex?” Satsuki repeated. “It’s me, Satsuki.”

The line went silent for a second, before the Clone replied. “Satsuki?!” He exclaimed, sounding alive rather than dead like he had moments ago. “Where are you?” Amaris silently showed her the coordinates from his wristband and she repeated them to Rex. “Alright, the General’s permitted us to come get you, as long as he comes with.”

“Good ol’ Skywalker,” Satsuki chuckled, before coughing loudly as the first drop of blood fell from her wound, landing on her tattered clothes. Amaris cursed as his brow furrowed. He used the cloth he’d cleaned her wound with to bandage it. “How long will you be?”

“Your in luck,” Rex replied. “We’ll be there within the hour.”

“Good,” Amaris muttered, so quietly the Clone didn’t hear him. Satsuki smiled at her new friend as he passed her a ring he wasn’t wearing. It was a silver ring of a tooka and she grinned as he slipped it onto her pointer finger. “For good luck.”

Satsuki nodded and reached out her pinky finger as the line went dead. Amaris copied and intertwined their fingers. “Good luck for us,” the red-haired girl grinned maniacally. Amaris nodded as he sat down beside her. She rested her head on his shoulder as sleep grew more and more tempting, eventually letting it take her.

                                -

Amaris’ hand shot to his pistol as the door opened and he raised it, prepared to shoot. “Don’t shoot!” A voice called as a Clone with white and blue armour appeared around the corner. “I’m Rex!” The teenager dropped his hand with a sigh of relief as the rest of the Clones filed in. The Captain yanked off his helmet as he rushed to the sleeping Satsuki, cursing colourfully at the sight of her wound. “Kix!”

A Clone with a red medic symbol on his shoulder pad rushed in, placing a pack beside the trio as he began to tend to Satsuki’s wound. She shifted in her sleep and her arms opened at the feeling of someone touching her wound. “Aramis?”

“Right here,” he responded as he ignored the sharp, suspicious look the blonde Clone shot at him. “Your friends are here.” Aramis fiddled with the silver ring on his left middle finger - a shimmering skull ring - as the gazes of the room's occupants turned to him. 

“Rex?” Satsuki sat up abruptly but Kix pushed her back down. Rex nodded and moved to pat her uninjured shoulder fondly. 

“Right here, Vod’ika” the Captain soothed gently and Satsuki relaxed back into Aramis’ shoulder - who had stiffened at the Mando’a. “I thought you were dead, sorry, we thought you were dead.” Aramis couldn’t help but soften at the gentle and loving tone of the Clone. 

“You should’ve known better,” Satsuki choked out with a grin and Amaris chuckled. “I don’t die.” Rex chuckled too, reaching up and ruffling the teenager’s hair fondly.

“I should’ve known. I’ll remember from now on.”

THAT WAS MY LONGEST ONE YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@techs-goggles9902 i hope you enjoyed that and request every. second. of. the. day.

REQUEST PEOPLE

IM SRS RN.

[leopardfang15]

Hi :)

You wanted Percy x reader asks so here I am

I'm not sure if you like this but I would like Percy holding or interacting with his first (newborn) child because it's just so sweet and he would be the best dad. He would make them toys and get excited every time they learn something new. And maybe the baby having his eyes cause they are the prettiest green.

Or

Percy x reader/OC spending a nice date in the park/at the lake, maybe it ends in watching the sunset. Percy tinkered something for reader (either something useful or something nice) and in turn reader also surprises him with a thing they made themselves.

Or (I have too many ideas)

Grog accidentally breaks Percy's glasses and now he struggles with his poor eyesight so the next day reader takes him into the city to find an optometrist to get new ones made. Can either be sweet or funny or both.

I wouldn't mind you writing one or all of them, you choose :)

Authors Note: so I only did 2 but I will definitely do number three at some point. I just wasn’t quite feeling it right this moment and I really wanted to post this. Anyways, enjoy!

Ansuya was exhausted, understandably so. She’d faced down dragons, vampires, giants and so much more, and the thing that caused her more pain than anything else was a mere seven pounds, five ounces and twenty inches long. Like many a foe, he had been screaming and covered in blood. However, that was an hour ago.

Now, Percy’s son was resting peacefully in his arms. He’d been cleaned up and wrapped in a soft blanket that Ansuya had made. It was dark blue like his favored coat and had the De Rolo crest stitched on in shiny, gold color thread. The creator of both the blanket and child had followed her son’s example and gone to sleep. Percy took a moment to marvel at the woman who’d given him such a precious gift. Her dark skin had been cleaned of the sweat that had drenched her body and she’d been changed into a clean robe. Her bedding had also been switched out and her black hair had once again been tied back. She’d been so exhausted Percy doubted she’d wake up before dawn as had been her ritual since long before he’d known her. He had no plans to wake her. She’d earned her rest for fighting so hard to bring their son into the world.

A slight movement from the bundle in his arms brought Percy’s gaze down. Their son had a mixture of his parent’s complexion, far darker than Percy but still lighter than his mother. He had some wisps of dark brown hair on his head, an adorable nose and ten little fingers and toes. Percy kept counting them. Logically he knew the number of fingers and toes wouldn’t change, but that didn’t stop the tinkerer from doing it over and over again.

Percy created a lot of things; fire arms, traps and other weapons. More recently he found himself crafting children’s toys, a music box, a cradle and a small mobile with little dragons. He found those to be quite fulfilling but this little person in his arms, cradled to his chest?

This small boy was his proudest and most beloved creation.

——————————————————————————————-

(AN: time for story 2)

The light gleamed off the lake and made it sparkle in the midday sun. Percy and Ansuya managed to find a shaded spot to lay out their blanket. Percy offered to sit closer to the water since he knew it reminded her of home but she teased that she didn’t want him in the sun too much.

“We don’t need you looking like a boiled lobster because your delicate skin couldn’t handle the rays.” She said, caressing his cheek. Percy rolled his eyes but the small smile betrayed his amusement and that her concern for him was appreciated.

Now they sat, back against the tree with the remnants of their lunch neatly packed away in their basket. Ansuya was resting her head on Percy’s shoulder while he ran his fingers through her hair. She’d let it out of its customary braid so that Percy could stroke the curled strands. Ansuya took a deep breath and nuzzled further into Percy’s shoulder.

“Keep doing that and I might think you’re trying to burrow under my skin.” Percy said, his chuckled slightly jostling her.

The dark skinned woman smiled and pressed a soft kiss to his neck. “There’s a thought. I’m just glad we did this, it’s nice to get away.”

“Yes,” Percy said, pressing a kiss to her head. “I enjoy spending time with you that isn’t interrupted every five minutes.” He said, grumbling at the memory of Scanlan walking in only to start teasing him while he was spending time with Ansuya. The bard hadn’t walked in on anything particularly interesting but the didn’t stop Scanlan from relentlessly teasing him.

Ansuya chuckled. “It also helps you. You’re so much more relaxed.” She said, sitting up so she could rub his shoulder. She could feel a lot less stress in him. She couldn’t hide her smile at how he nearly melted at her touch.

“Yes well, you do have that effect on me.” He said, looking at her with warm, green eyes, lighter than her own. A faint blush then dusted his cheeks as he reached into his coat pocket. “I-I made something for you.”

Ansuya shifted away from him so he’d have space to show her and ended up sitting with her legs crossed opposite him. Percy pulled out a metal rod with some leather wrapped around the middle, seeming to be a hand grip. At first the monk was confused but then Percy pressed a small button and then the rod extended and revealed a sharp blade at one end.

“It’s a spear.” Percy said before seeming to mentally cringe at his own statement. “Obviously, but this will be easier to carry and much easier to conceal. I can make you a holster, similar to my own.”

Ansuya carefully took the weapon from Percy’s hand and looked it over. It was simple, no extra details or design. She tested the weight and balance while she continued to listen to Percy.

“To be honest it’s just a prototype. I’d need you to test it along side the original and it is still untested in combat. I simply require your input to refine it so I can make the necessary adjustments.”

Ansuya stopped listening as he started going over who she could possibly spar against to give it a try. She could only picture in her mind’s eye Percy, working down in his workshop for days or even weeks. The long hours he no doubt spent drawing up plans and testing the release and retracting of the device, let alone a blade that could slide back into the pole itself. Not to mention how long he spent learning how to forge a simple spear, let alone something this unique. He’d spent all that time, sweating in his forge, to make something for her? Her heart felt fit to burst with love for this man who was still babbling.

“Perhaps we could ask-“ Percy was stopped mid sentence when Ansuya pulled him in for a kiss. He was shocked but melted into the kiss easily enough. Ansuya broke the kiss but rested her forehead against his, smile so warm it rivaled the sun.

“Thank you, Percy. No one’s ever done something like this for me, spent so much time with me in mind.” She blinked away her tears, not wanting to fall apart on him. “I wish I could- oh!” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of cloth. She smiled at him, a bit shy.

“I know lots of nobles have these and you probably have a bunch but, with how busy we’ve been I didn’t think you had one like this.” She placed her gift in his hand.

Carefully unfolding it, Percy gasped. It was a simple, white, silk handkerchief. What was extraordinary about it, to him, was the de Rolo crest embroidered in the corner. He ran his thumb over the stitching, taking in the image created by shimmering, gold thread. He looked back up at her with her shy smile. She was so beautiful.

“Thank you, my dear.” Percy said, folding her gift with swift fingers. “I’ll always treasure it.

[memoria-99]

Snow White × Wizardess Heart

Episode 2

Meanwhile, Snow White was alone in the great forest. She was frightened and ran as far as her feet would take her, until just before evening, she saw a little house and went inside to rest. Snow White was so hungry and thirsty that she ate a nice looking hot dog on the plate and drank a cup of nicely brewed coffee. Then, she was so tired that she lay down on one of the beds and fell asleep.

When it was completely dark, the masters of the house came home. They were seven dwarfs who mined for gold in the mountains.

"It's strange. I'm sure I left my hot dog here but... I only see the crumbs. Looks like someone ate it." (Alfonse)

"Someone drank my coffee, too." (Sigurd)

"Did... the thieves break in?" (Lucious)

Just then, one of the dwarfs saw his bed, and cried,

"Liz...?!" (Amelia)

The other dwarfs rushed to the bedside.

"My, my. Didn't expect to see a beauty here." (Sigurd)

"A sleeping beauty, huh?" (Luca)

"Hey, she's not dead, is she?" (Lucious)

"It seems she's just asleep, thankfully." (Alfonse)

"Trespassing? What was she thinking?" (Joel)

"Wow! Wooow! She looks so cute sleeping like that!" (Randy)

They were so happy that they did not wake her but let her continue sleeping in the bed.

In the morning, Snow White woke up, and saw the seven dwarfs.

"Errr... Hello, everyone." (Liz)

She told them how her stepmother had tried to have her killed, how the huntsman had spared her life, and how she had run all day until she found their house.

"Hmmm, if you do me a favor, perhaps I'll be happy to accompany you." (Luca)

"You don't sound trustworthy at all, Luca. What do you want?" (Liz)

"What about a kiss from the beautiful princess?" (Luca)

"......" (Liz)

"Ignore him, Liz. He's not the only one here." (Joel)

"I have an idea. If you will keep house and cook for us, then you can stay with us! How does that sound?" (Randy)

"Sounds good to me. I'll help you if I can." (Amelia)

"I'd love to!" (Liz)

"We're honored to have a cute lady here." (Sigurd)

So she stayed with them and kept their house in order. The good dwarfs didn't forget to warn her, saying,

"Beware of Zeus, okay?" (Alfonse)

"Yeah. You can't let that idiot make a fuss again." (Lucious)

Now the queen, believing Snow White is gone, thought that she was again the first and most beautiful woman of all.

She went to her mirror and said,

"Hey, Hiro. Who in this land is fairest of all?" (Zeus)

The mirror sighed and muttered,

"Why should I take this bothersome role?" (Hiro)

Then answered,

"Can't you cut it out already? The script says... Snow White, beyond the mountains with the seven dwarfs, is still a thousand times fairer than you." (Hiro)

The queen was horrified, for she knew that the mirror never lied.

"She's not gone yet?! What about Goldstein number two?!" (Zeus)

"Apparently, he's grinning from ear to ear with the thing called persona mirror now." (Hiro)

"I knew that weakling couldn't pull this off! Damnit!" (Zeus)

She slammed her fist at the table, and thought and thought again how she could rid herself of Snow White.

"Oh, I know! I'll feed her to the Vulcannux!" (Zeus)

"... Don't be crazy and just follow the script." (Hiro)

The queen then made a poisoned apple. On the outside, it was beautiful and shiny, with a cheek as red as blood, but anyone who ate even a little piece of it would die. Then, disguised as an old woman, she visited the dwarfs' house with the apple.

"You over there! Would you like to try a delicious, juicy apple?" (Zeus)

"Oh, that looks lovely!" (Liz)

Snow White came over, reached for the apple and grabbed it, but stopped before taking a bite. She squinted her eyes at the queen and said,

"Zeus? What are you doing here?" (Liz)

She looked up and down at the queen, and started to giggle.

"... And what's with that weird dress and wig?" (Liz)

"Don't laugh, these were the only ones I had! Anyway, eat that apple!" (Zeus)

Snow White snapped,

"Heck no! You must have done something about this apple!" (Liz)

The queen shouted,

"Just eat it already! Or I'll summon the Vulcannux!" (Zeus)

"What? You can't be serious!" (Liz)

Flustered, Snow White reflexively took a quick bite of the apple.

"Ahhh! What did I just do? How stupid I am... I... feel so sleepy..." (Liz)

A few seconds later, she was completely swallowed by a strange drowsiness and eventually fell down.

The queen, laughing triumphantly, returned to the castle and asked her mirror,

"Hey, Hiro. You saw that, right? Who in this land is fairest of all?" (Zeus)

It finally answered,

"What a persistent brat... You're fairest of all. Are you satisfied now?" (Hiro)

"Yes! My victory at last!" (Zeus)

Then her envious heart was at rest.

- To be continued -

[elotime1981]

Highly Personal Post Ahead!

This is a small compilation of lyrics that mean the literal world to me! Let's start.

Contact : Trocadero

Riding on shiny metal horses Singing a rider's song One of us will be forgotten The other'll be wrong

This song is about a character from RVB, specifically Locus. He's a guy who sees himself as nothing but a robot— a machine to do tasks, charging into war knowing he'll either be forgotten or seen as a monster.

The longness of semper, still I remember Contact

Semper means vigilance — Locus has been vigilant all his life and yet he still remembers humanity. Contact with other people. Deep down, he's still a human.

Two, four, one, ten Two, four, one, ten Am I transmitting? Is anyone listening? Contact

A cry for help, a beg for mercy, someone to reach out and treat him like the human he is. Fits right in with my love of robots right now: except he isn't quite a robot. A human masquerading as one to cope. Ahh!

2 Hal 9000 : Iasah

It's been mercifully silent in this room of numbers Solitude is violent in this endless depth of nullity

The singer feels as if the solitude they feel, isolated for some reason, is incredibly violent despite the silence and peace. They're trapped in their mind.

I see you I hear you I feel you I need you and every second I'm dreaming

These specific lyrics reference HAL from ASO, he is dreaming because he is a sentient creature, yet no one sees him as one due to his robotic nature. He is a conscious being, why doesn't anyone see that?!

My conscience my progress existence volition it's everything I need Do you see me you hear me you feel me you need me you ever think that I'm crying Your senses your pulses perfection conception it's everything I envy.

The singer is completely concious, crying for help because what he needs is someone to help him figure out his code. Help him be human. See him as human, please. He envies humans, they are so perfect in his eyes because of their imperfection. All he wants is to be seen.

My "humanity" was wasted in this odyssey and vanity was tasted imperfection?

Irony of programs the tempting snake of sin says someday I can be like you if I eat this fruit of Eden?

This singer's humanity was wasted because he was just used as a tool to do something. Yet this imperfection in his code is what makes him human— a blessing and a curse. The fruit of eden is a reference to these lines in ASO.

Believe me retrieve me don't leave me deceive me please Every moment I'm screaming My memories my signals deletion destruction I don't want it to end I believe you retrieve you won't leave you deceive you I always think of you trying

HAL has been left behind by everyone, his memories fuzzy and his persons unstable. He wants to be reached out to, told it'll be okay and promises the listener that he won't decieve you (he can't anyways)— if you just reach out and fucking help him.

Your voices your traces deception inception the only reason I–

He only exists because of humans. The only reason he lives.

Identity is all I ever want, am I someone? Give me just one name and I'll be done it's in your hands and I'll be gone I'm waiting until we'll be one You're everything I envy.

He just wants to be human— he just wants a name, fucking anything please. He's as human as anyone else despite; he's real. See him as that.

Again, why I relate to this song so heavily. My monotone nature having people often treat me like I'm not human. I am. I'm human, even if I feel or act differently from you

Exit Music (for a film) : Radiohead

Wake from your sleep The drying of your tears Today we escape, we escape

The singer wants to escape from expectations, the thing that has held them back for so long.

Breathe, keep breathing Don't lose your nerve Breathe, keep breathing I can't do this alone

Yes: the song is a love song of sorts. A double suicide, Romeo and Juliet, but for me, it's about two people who have been outsided for so long by rules and traditions, holding them back from what they want most. Acceptance.

Sing us a song A song to keep us warm There's such a chill Such a chill And you can laugh a spineless laugh We hope your rules and wisdom choke you Now we are one in everlasting peace We hope that you choke, that you choke

This song is a song about spite. Spiting a world that's shunned and mistreated, spiting a world that's torn apart and ruined the singer because of what they expected. What they allowed and didn't.

Duvet : Boa

And you don't seem to understand A shame you seemed an honest man And all the fears you hold so dear Will turn to whisper in your ear And you know what they say might hurt you And you know that it means so much And you don't even feel a thing

No one understands the singer because they cannot feel like others do. The fears being something that the "man" holds dear, implies that it's about love and humanity. And you know that these expectations on humanity hurts, means so much, and yet nothing at all.

I am falling, I am fading I have lost it all And you don't seem the lying kind A shame that I can read your mind And all the things that I read there Candlelit smile that we both share And you know I don't mean to hurt you But you know that it means so much And you don't even feel a thing

This implies that humanity and love are a farce, the man might not mean to lie about love and humanity, but it is something that we all try and hide with a smile. That love really means nothing. That we don't mean to lie, that humanity has ahunned the singer to the point where they cannot feel.

[wodenscild]

You have a good time calling with friends! :D Hold up- i thought i bit the nightmares- heh, guess I'll have to do it again. >:D

So umm... about the French number thing- it sounds like- uhh- Deez nuts. Yeah ok pretend i never said that. But it sounds like the word i previously said that i will not repeat.

I'm sitting on some if the lockers with fren :D the one with the red jacket! They are so supportive hfhfhhgf. They are talking with a other friend but I'm just enjoying company :D

Also have been randomly shaking lately? Like i can't stand for a minute without almost falling because my body just decides to shake for no reason. Not even that I'm cold there's no reason for it. Or atleast i think?

Also in year 3 there's a big chance I'm going to transfer! To mystery 2's school! My best friend will be there too :D and it's not like I'm gonna miss anyone here- or that they will miss me :]

Also what do you do on those calls? Just talk or play videogames? Not gonna lie i just find the things you do interesting- even if i don't understand a thing of it, it's quite interesting to see what a other persons life looks like. On the other side of the world! :D

Half the Netherlands... for cows?? That is friggin' cool! I love animals and they definitely deserve lots of space. Sadly here they are cramped up a lot- not everywhere, And there are laws against it. But it still happends.

About my gremlin collection- guess you might have to ask mystery 2 where he got the screw. And when my school is over (Wich is in 3 hours hfhdhh wayy too much) i will steal frogs phone and send a picture of most of my collection! Also remember the 2 other here? Yeah they're looking as i type. Well anyway.

-Mystery anon 1

XD PLEASE DO BITE THRM AGAIN- the nightmares have been very very intense T-T but they are finally passing!! Also OOOHHHHHH OKAY YES I SEE WHY PROPLE CHUCKLING ABOUT IT- THO STILL LAUGHING DKCKSKDKSK

🥺🥺 Your friend sounds great!! Sometimes you don’t have to talk, just the company of being with & around someone is enough :] I hope you are happy rn cos you deserve it <33

!!!! SCHOOL TRANSFER TO MA2’S!!!!! AAAAAAA OMGS I HOPE IT GOES WELL FOR YOU :00 I am glad you are going to a better place >:3 you’ll be away from those awful people who mock ye- ans also this will be your first time at this new school? Everyone will know you by your new name :D That is wonderful!!

On those calls I play games, watch movies, & enjoy the company of friends :] the people I have been calling recently are the people I am going to move to live with!! So I am getting to know thrm better now!! Tho I hate to admit I think I might be falling for one of them ToT she is so amazing & hhhhh <//3 the thought of getting to see her in 8 weeks makes me not sleep at night from giddiness FLFKSKFKS her, another friend, & myself will be spending the first few weeks just showing me around the city :D there is a really cool water park!! Tonnes of book stores!! The state library!! Gay bars!! >.< I am just !!! By it all- OH!! And they are gonna get me to perform in a drag race ToT I am horrible with makeup and by no means have the feminine flare to pull it off- so imma be wearing a full masquerade get up- DKFKSKDKSKEK I will be moving there like 8 days before my birthday, so my friends intend on giving me a very Perthian party (tho in all honesty I would just love to spend the day watch movies & cuddling & enjoying a quiet relaxing day).

I think it is scary that a family could own that much land D: I sorta have my reservations about it mainly cos of the impact cattle have on the environment & the fact that such a large ranch was built on stolen lands- it just doesn’t feel right.

& !!!! i am still waiting for MA2 to submit an ask so I can ask her about it!! But PLEASE DO SEND YOUR COLLECTION >:D I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE THE SHINIES

[five-rivers]

When You Wake

For Dannymay 2022 Day 2: No One Knows AU

.

Phantom didn’t know where he came from.  He’d gathered, in small scraps of knowledge from others, that this was normal.  You forgot things, when you died, when you became a ghost, when you gave up what you were in exchange for what you could do.  

It followed that Phantom must have died.  

That was what the others said, what they implied when they didn’t say anything, what the word ghost meant in the first place.  

Phantom was a ghost.  

A brand new ghost.  So freshly dead and shiny new that Johnny sometimes joked about smelling grave soil on him, on the days Phantom could stand him.  

Phantom couldn’t always stand him.  They’d fought a few times, the most recent being over a girl with red hair who wasn’t Kitty and no they couldn’t have her.

This was normal, too.  He was a feral little thing with a haunt too big for him.  Territorial and untrusting.  A child in every way that ghosts counted, reeling from the great change and fighting for control.  

What wasn’t normal was a ghost who couldn’t reliably hold onto corporeal form and consciousness for more than an hour to keep that too-big haunt, to fight and win against ghosts who had been in death’s uncertain embrace hundreds of times longer than he had.  

Phantom was okay with being weird.  

He was okay with walking out of a flash of light and into a fight in a familiar-not alley, or classroom, or park with little, because that meant he was spending his time properly, not wasting energy he could be using to keep his place and people safe and protected.  

It made him feel good.  Made him feel more, if only for a moment, before tiredness faded in and he flared out into… into whatever he was between moments of awareness.  Some kind of shade, maybe?

It probably didn’t matter.  According to everyone who would talk to him, he’d stabilize before too long.  He’d be able to do more than just fight.  

He sighed, and smiled dreamily up at the stars.  It wasn’t that he disliked fighting, it was important, but he knew that if he had the time, he could do so much more!  He could help people with other things!  He could fix problems before they got bad!  

He could have more moments like this, too.  

Moments when the ghosts were gone and the chaos stopped and the people safe and everything was good and right.  

The stars twinkled at him as gravity began to pull on him more urgently, his feet making silent, but firm, contact with the ground.  

“Until next time,” he said.  

There was a flash of light.  

.

Danny leaned his head against the wall of the nearest building, not caring that it was probably unsanitary.  He moaned.  It hurt, and he was shaking, exhausted.  

Breathe, he reminded himself.  He didn’t know where he was, and panicking would only make that worse.  

This had happened before.  This had happened before and he was fine.  He should be getting used to this by now.  

It was still hard not to cry.  

Luckily, though, given this was the umpteenth time he’d sleepwalked out of the house or blacked out, he’d been prepared when he went to sleep.  He wore slippers to bed, now, and kept his phone on a lanyard around his wrist.  

He fumbled the clamshell open, his fingers clumsy from lack of sleep and the general disorientation that followed episodes like this.  His eyes barely registered the blurred numbers proclaiming the time to be 2:57 AM.  He didn’t need to look at the screen, anyway.  The home phone was on speed-dial.  His parents didn’t sleep with earplugs anymore.  

The phone rang three times.  

“Danny?  Did it happen again?” asked Maddie, immediately upon picking up.  

“That no good ghost!” shouted Jack in the background, barely audible.  “When I get my hands on it–!”

Danny didn’t believe in ghosts.  Yeah, more people talked about them now, but as far as he was concerned, it was all an elaborate joke on the kid with ghost hunter parents.  A mean one, considering it all started up right after his accident with the portal.  He’d never seen a ghost, besides, and Jazz backed him up, saying that he probably had some kind of sleep disorder.  

“Yeah,” said Danny.  “I, um, I don’t see any street signs, but I think I’m in the warehouse district.”  He swallowed.  “It’s really dark here.”

“It’s okay, honey,” said Maddie, soothingly.  “We’ll just track your phone, and we’ll be down there in a jiffy.”

“Okay,” said Danny.  

“Stay on the line, alright?” 

“Okay,” said Danny.  “I’m sorry…”

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” said Maddie, crisply.  He heard a door slam shut on her side.  “It’s those darn ghosts.  You don’t deserve to be bullied by these malevolent pseudo consciousnesses!”

Danny felt his headache increase.  “Mom, I have a sleep disorder.  I’m not being haunted.”

“The sleep study didn’t find anything,” said Maddie, defensively.  The familiar roar of the GAV started in the background, followed by a squeal.

Danny sighed.  “Can we not do this right now?  I’m… tired.”

“Do you have a headache?” asked Maddie.  “You should really try those ectopurifying tablets again…”

“They made me sick last time,” said Danny, “and they aren’t approved for human consumption.”

“They’re perfectly safe,” said Maddie.  “None of the compounds we used are toxic to humans.  We tested them ourselves.”

“Please don’t feed me anything that isn’t FDA approved,” said Danny, echoing Jazz’s ultimatum from earlier that year.  “Do you have tylenol with you?”

“Of course, honey, we always have tylenol.”

“Thanks,” said Danny.  He inhaled shakily.  “Why does this keep happening to me?”

“We’ll find out,” said Maddie, reassuringly.  

“I hope so.”  Danny looked up.  He could see more stars here than he could elsewhere in the city.  It was a single nice spot in what would probably shape up to be a really awful day.  

The bright lights of the GAV swung around the corner, and Danny squinted at them even as the vehicle came to a shrieking halt.  The back door popped open, and Danny climbed in.  

“Hey, Danny!” greeted Jack, with rather forced joviality.  

“Oh,” he said, “it’s warm in here.”

“Mhm,” said Maddie, looking back over the front passenger seat to look him over, and handed him the tylenol bottle.  “You aren’t hurt?”

“No,” said Danny.  

“Remember, if you’re hurt, you need to call nine-one-one first.”

“I remember,” said Danny, leaning back and digging the heels of his palms into his eyes.  “Do you think I could skip school today?”  He’d missed too much school already, but…  it was worth a shot.  

Maddie reached back to pat his knee.  “How about you see how you feel when you wake up?”

Danny shrugged, already half asleep.  “‘Kay…”

(And they slept.)

[adobe-outdesign]

Pokemon Worldbuilding Headcanons, Part 2

Part 2 of this. Some are based on the game, some on the anime, and some directly contradict both because the Pokemon lore is made up and your feelings don’t matter.

Intelligence

Pokemon are generally sentient and sapient, and most have strong cognitive abilities.

They don’t know the names of their moves innately, but will quickly learn what words correlate to what moves once they’ve started training.

They’re also quite good at picking up tone of voice and will learn their trainer’s body language as they work together, making it relatively easy for trainers to understand their Pokemon and vice versa.

Some Pokemon can learn to speak English if they have vocal cords capable of mimicking human speech, but this isn’t common. More commonly, many psychic types can communicate with telepathy, and many Pokemon can learn sign language.

There are many Pokemon-specific types of sign language that have been modified to accommodate for different numbers of fingers.

Pokemon therapists (therapists that help Pokemon, not Pokemon that are therapists) exist. In addition to helping with human-Pokemon relations (like helping trainers better understand their Pokemon), they also help Pokemon recover from mental trauma and help diagnose various mental illnesses. They usually work with translators.

Occasionally, a psychic human will be able to understand Pokemon via a specific type of telepathy. They commonly work as professional translators, and will commonly pick up jobs as nurses, therapists, rehabilitators, and more.

Highly intelligent Pokemon will occasionally become Pokemon trainers themselves--there’s no laws against it, though many object to it on principle.

A famous example was an Alakazam that eventually got fed up with its abusive trainer and, realizing no trainer could ever be smarter than them, became a trainer themselves. They eventually made it to gym leader status.

Some intelligent Pokemon form their own mini-societies out in the wilderness. These are designated as no-catch zones, though the Pokemon that live there can always choose to leave if they want to find a trainer to partner with.

Pokemon Centers

Pokemon nurses work at Pokemon Centers. They deal with day-to-day healings, checkups, and other small medical issues. More serious issues are handled by Pokemon doctors at hospitals.

Pokemon nurses treat all species of Pokemon, as they know some degree of standard medical care that’s near-universal.

Pokemon doctors, meanwhile, are trained in specific types and phylogenies, making them experts but only for a small amount of Pokemon.

Pokemon can instantly be teleported to various hospitals for treatment if the issue is too severe or specific for the Center to treat. Pokemon that know teleport are used to move medicine and Pokemon that won’t go in Pokeballs. 

Pokemon can be instantly healed by adding small amounts of energy to them while they’re in their Pokeballs, which helps them recover from minor injuries such as cuts, bruises, small burns, ect.

This process does not help heal severe injuries (illness, broken bones, internal issues, ect.). Instead, these injuries are treated over time using more traditional methods.

Sleep powder is used on Pokemon when they first are released inside of the center/hospital, so nurses/doctors don’t have to worry about getting attacked while looking them over. (Pokemon that are immune to sleep powder are usually paralyzed with stun spore or have disable used on them instead, depending on what needs to be done.)

Pokeballs can be life-saving, as the Pokemon’s energy form means that while it can still become weak and faint, it won’t take severe bodily damage from injuries. This gives trainers more time to get their Pokemon to a medical center and the doctors more time to prepare treatments.

Pokerus is a mutualistic virus; the virus lives in the body and produces energy as a waste product, which is then absorbed by Pokemon. This has a lot of positive health benefits for them, such as faster evolution rates. The only effects are mild fever and cough, which go away as the virus becomes dormant after about 4 days.

However, the reason people don’t actively try to spread it around constantly is that Pokerus can spread to humans, and the effects are much more dangerous than in Pokemon (with no additional benefits to boot). Ergo, most Pokemon that catch it are quarantined, and many trainers get Pokerus vaccinations to be safe. 

Tech

Cars exist, but aren’t used often as many Pokemon view them as threats and will attack them on sight. They’re not really commercially viable anyway when you can just saddle up a large Pokemon you caught instead.

Pokeballs have trackers built into them, so they can be easily relocated if lost. Most Pokemon Centers will have at least one Pokemon that knows teleport that can retrieve the ball as well.

Pokemon Storage Systems are relatively new. They work by teleporting a Pokeball into a large designated storage space, usually a warehouse or an underground area. When a person’s license is scanned, a machine finds and teleports back the Pokeball based on an automated grid system.

The warehouses are heavily guarded at all times, and because the contents of the Pokeballs aren’t labeled poachers are usually deterred from trying to steal from them directly.

The trays that the balls are stored in are known as “boxes”, hence why its referred to as “boxing your Pokemon”.

The energy of a Pokemon is slowed when in storage, effectively putting them to sleep. This allows them to remain in their Pokeballs for longer periods of time. Legally, Pokemon cannot be stored for more than a month for their well-being.

TMs are CDs that are inserted into a cube-like device that the Pokeball is then placed into. These change the simulation inside a Pokeball, creating scenarios that help the Pokemon to learn the new move. They work most of the time, but there’s no guarantee that your Pokemon will figure it out.

Teleportation technology is still being developed. Small objects can be teleported effortlessly; teleportation of living creatures and larger objects is a more recent, hence why warp tiles aren’t used everywhere.

Teleportation was figured out by studying psychic-types who know the move. Catching or renting a psychic-type is still one of the fastest ways to get around.

Food

People used to hunt Pokemon a few thousand years ago out of necessity, though they stuck to common, lower-intelligence Pokemon like Margikarp and Farfetch'd (which is how they became rare). However, this has fallen out of practice over time as humans and Pokemon have gotten closer.

There are many ways to ethically source meat and dairy products. Miltank produce milk, Chansey produce infertile eggs, and Slowpoke and Crabrawler naturally drop and regenerate body parts that can be farmed without harming them (tails and claws, respectively). Other than that, humans rely on plant-based food/synthetic meat in order to get by.

Carnivore Pokemon will hunt and kill other Pokemon in the wild; in captivity, they eat the aforementioned ethically sourced meat.

Pokemon don’t really have “hunting instincts”, in the sense that they won’t blindly maim other prey Pokemon. Indeed, Pokemon in captivity understand that their trainers will feed them, and thus won’t risk harming other Pokemon less they get attacked themselves.

With that said, it’s generally recommended to not put your Corsola and Mareanie on the same team, solely because there’ll likely always be tension between two rival Pokemon and they’re unlikely to get along (though predator/prey friendships aren’t unheard of).

Some intelligent Pokemon have been known to farm both plants and other Pokemon out in the wild, in order to have a continuous food source.

Intelligent Pokemon also understand how to cook and mix ingredients. There are quite a few commonplace recipes in the Pokemon world that originated from Pokemon themselves.

Laws and Regulations

It is illegal to catch immature baby Pokemon, as they’re still too young to leave their parents at that stage (so you couldn’t catch a one-tailed baby Vulpix, for example).

Vintage Pokeballs have to be retrofitted with modern tech. This is because modern tech has things like the aforementioned tracking devices that make them safer to use.

Rare species of Pokemon, legendaries, and shinies are frequently moved onto preserves for protection against poachers. While people are welcome to visit these spaces, they are no-catch zones and rangers enforce this law strictly.

There are several different types of Pokemon licenses, with varying difficulties in obtaining them.

The default licenses can be obtained by anyone 8 years or older, and allows for Pokemon to live in a domestic setting. This requires passing a variety of tests covering basic Pokemon laws and welfare, and is easy to obtain.

Trainer licenses (10+ years) allow for Pokemon to be battled with, entered in contests, ect. This requires having a default license, passing a test regarding safe battling methods, and passing a test battle with a rental Pokemon (doesn’t matter if you win; it’s more about technique, caring for the Pokemon, ect.)

It is only legal to batte without a trainer license if it’s an act of self-defense.

There are also separate licenses for medical and commercial use of Pokemon. These are only obtainable by adults and regulated by the government.

Technically speaking, there’s a permit needed in order to ride Pokemon to make sure that traffic laws are obeyed. Few people with rideable Pokemon actually bother getting one however.

Licenses can be revoked for a number of reasons. Whether or not a licenses is revoked is determined by the local authorities or a judge, if necessary.

Guns and weaponry technically exist, but are almost never used. The reason for this is that a bullet is highly unlikely to kill any given Pokemon, and that Pokemon can and will outright kill someone if they harm their trainer. Ergo, it’s easier to just battle and knock out a person’s Pokemon legally in a battle.

Pokemon that commit crimes are usually judged based on whether or not they were acting of their own accord or being psychology manipulated or abused into performing the act. Most Pokemon are put into rehabilitation programs and may be rehomed or released if the rehab is successful.

If it’s not sucessful, the Pokemon has a tracker placed on them and they’re released into private, sanctioned-off wild areas where they can’t hurt other Pokemon or people.

Wild areas have official ratings regarding how dangerous they are to be in, which is based on factors like the kind of wild Pokemon living there. This helps trainers pick out areas that are relatively safe for catching (or not, if they’ve got a strong team already and want something more powerful).

Funerals

A Pokemon’s body deteriorates into energy after 1-2 weeks or so, depending on size.

There are a variety of funeral options for a deceased Pokemon. Funeral services are almost always a given, which can be small ceremonies for friends or larger events for more well-known Pokemon (such as those belonging to gym leaders). Burials, cremations, and more are all options.

One option that’s been rising in popularity is to return the Pokemon’s body to their Pokeball, then breaking the capture mechanism to prevent stealing of higher-end balls. The Pokeball is then placed on a pillow in a “cubby” with a glass door, which can be filled with belongings, favored items, or photographs.

The Pokeballs can be kept as-is, polished and shined to look like new, or even decorated in things like gold leaf, depending on the trainer’s preferences.

A Pokemon can only stay in its ball for 1-3 years straight without eventually dying from energy atrophy (thankfully, this is painless). Because Pokemon can leave their balls whenever they want, deaths like this are virtually unheard of.

Ghost-type Pokemon can sometimes be spirits of the deceased (both humans and Pokemon), but they can also be just random collections of energy. There are also regular ghosts, which are different from ghost-types and cannot be caught.

Catching ghost-types is illegal around most burial grounds, as many of them are just visiting their former trainers as they come by to mourn.

Pokemon that are ghosts retain their memories of their past lives, and can still use attacks that they knew previously.

Ghost-types don’t usually remember their previous lives, but it isn’t unheard of for them to remember one or two former attacks despite this. This means that ghost-types can potentially know any type of attack outside of the ones they know naturally or learn from TMs.

[oriigirii]

The Brothers reacting to an MC who likes to collect... rocks?

It was certainly a strange hobby to behold, but there were more than meets the eye within these rocks! If you crack them open they often hold such a wonderful design, and on the rare occasion they can probably even hide a geode or two, regardless, you were very passionate for these things and it just so happens that it catches some of the brother’s attention.

(A/N: Ill be doing 2 at the time for now UwU  

Warnings: none! 

Reader: Gender Neutral!)

~ 눈_눈 Lucifer ~

* Lucifer always kept an eye on you ever since you got to Devildom

* Cuz of this, he was probably the first to notice your... strange addiction

* He saw how you always seem to stop on your tracks to pick up a shiny smooth stone lying on the side of the gates infront of the HoL while he walked home with you.

* Or how you’d snatch a few from the gardens on an early Sunday morning when you think that everyone was still asleep

* Since it was harmless enough, he never really bothered to call you out on it 

* Lowkey does find it cute how something so small can already make you so happy, such an easy-to-please cutie you are

* It wasn’t a problem till he was told that you seem to be arriving late more often for your classes 

* At first he thought that maybe you were simply caught up in some mess from his brothers again 

* Maybe perhaps Belphie snuck you off to sleep again than go to class 

* But no, when he’d confronted you he was pretty surprised, and at the same time, confused at your answer.

* “There were these cool looking red geodes I accidentally found on the back, b-but I mustve dropped them at some point when Mammon and I were rushing to class...so I’ve been trying to look for more of them for my collection... Sorry...”

*To be fair you did look pretty apologetic for it and really didnt mean to botch up your schedule, but still.

* He lets you go pretty easily, with a small lecture, but thats about it. 

* Although you never did stop looking for that geode, you even pulled Beel to help with promise of a homemade cake to try and cover as much ground, but nothing.

* You came home that day a little defeated

* but much to your surprise when you reached your room, a small box was waiting outside your door and inside was none other than the beautiful red geode youve been so desperate to look for. And... well, you didnt have to guess who was kind enough to give it to you.

* The next day, you do go over to thank him properly for the help, and explain that you had been extremely captivated with that specfic geode because of how it reminds you of the first born’s eyes.

* This boi is highkey stunned but tryna make it lowkey though (pride 100)

 * Definitely amused and flattered. 

* From now on, he does continue to give you geodes to add to your collection, and would even accompany you on your little endeavors if his work load isnt too unbearing. Away from the eyes of his brothers of course.

* Hed definitely want to seek the perfect geode too that reminds him of you in return that he can decorate on his desk while hes working. Even better, maybe have the geodes crafted to a perfect ring that you two can wear.

-------------

~ ᕙ(`▽´)ᕗ Mammon ~

* Not like youre complaining either

* Today was another weekend, and weekends mean you guys get to hang out!  

* Not like you two were ever seperated in the first place anyways, he’s like an octopus that just wont let go 

* Anyways, He casually enters your room, phone in hand as he scrolls through various articles featuring his modelling work, he was gonna show off as usual, afterall, this man LIVES for your praise.

* “Oi! (Y/N) Check this out! They ranked me number 1 on the most handsome model in Devildom! And I didn’t cheat the system this ti---”

* You had been busy in your cabinet when he walked in, so you didnt have time to warn him of your mess on your bed.

* Hence why, when he was starting to brag about his latest achievement, it was immediately cut off by a pained yelp.

* Mammon, too busy on his DDD, didnt notice the shiny geodes and stones you had left on your bed to arrange for your new dsplay case, and because of this, (his dumbass) plopped on the bed, landing right on the sharp edges of the beautiful rocks.

* It wasnt fun.

* You had rushed to help him as he started stroking his back from the sting, he was a demon so he was pretty sturdy, but cmon, landing on a buncha hard rocks was still not good.

* You did rush to go get him an ice pack for his poor back, and when you came back, he seemed to have been healed almost immediately as he stares at your collection with a big shine on his own eyes, they can rival the geodes at this point.

* “(Y/N)! Why didn’t you tell me you had these? Don’t yknow how much these would sell? Hell, I can even probably sell them for an even higher price!”

* The rolling of your eyes was very intense that Diavolo could feel it from his castle and you pushed that ice pack on his face to make him stop.

* You did make it very clear that if he ever decides to try and get any of these stones, you were gonna be snitching him to Beel for eating his pudding the other day (You wouldn’t though would you?)

* Still that does shut down his money making plans, but he does question you for it, why hoard these valuable items when you could make thousands of grimm for it? You even seem to have a talent for finding these too, it seems like a huge waste, and so you proceed to explain to him your love for these shiny geodes.

* First image in his head was you being a relative to a crow, or you being a crow in general, because if anything, thats what his little crows do, they pass him shiny stuff they find along the day, of course theyre not as extravagant as these geodes, but it doesnt negate the fact you definitely have crow energy, and hes so down for it. His love for you just grew tenfold.

* But who knew it can grow further? Because you eventually explain to him that the geodes you collected, or the simple stones you had, all were special because all of them hold a special memory. One of the smoother stones you had was the same stone you used to display your mom’s favorite rose garden, it even had your initials that you scrapped on when your were 5, another was a geode you found on your field trip at the human world and so on.

* Mammon definitely had his attention to you the entire time, this boy is smitten and he just loves hearing you talk about each one, he grows a small appreciation for them now and he can understand why you wouldn’t want to sell them away. But then he noticed you reach for a much cleaner, tear drop looking geode, it was a blue-yellow mix.

* You explain to him that this was your first geode found when you went here in Devildom, the first you also carved as it was more jagged than this when you found it, and of course, you chose to keep it cause it reminded you for your first man.

* Mammon was so moved,and he was just sitting there, red as a strawberry and mouth open like a fish out of water, but hes not the only one because you too were blushing like an idiot as you held the special rock.

* He does end up trying to act his typical ways, but he was nothing but a stuttering mess, and much to his embarassment, he was also tearing up.

* Please hug him, he needs it, he just cant help but feel so flattered that you dedicated a geode for him and he felt that pride and love swell to incredible levels, you definitely have him yearning for you even more.

* Next time you go out to seek more geodes here in Devildom, he might just come with you along with his army of crows, and even cuter, his crows would just hand you special rocks every now and then.

* This boy might just start his own collection now thanks to you, but most his geodes will just be dedicated to you

----------

A h h h hope you guys like it! I know its a weird premise, but I honestly do love gemstones and stuff lol, also yes i did indulge too much on Mammon, hush,but yeah, ill do more of the others soon!

(Art by me!)

[butwhyduh]

Jumping

Tim drake x reader

This is during the time that Dick has to fake his own death. I’m also ignoring most of canon tbh. Mentions suicide ideals.

You worried about Tim. I mean, you always had since you met him in a coffee shop and they gave him your order instead of his and all he did was ask for a shot of espresso to go with it. But tonight you were terribly concerned because Tim was so sad that he was dull. His shiny black hair hang limp and his bright blue eyes looked dull and blood shot.

You couldn’t exactly blame him. It was only 2 week before that his brother Dick had died. He hadn’t touched his computer all day but instead sat staring at various places around his apartment. You forced him to eat a very late meal and he took all of 3 bite from his food.

You washed up and went back in the living room for him to be gone.

“Tim? Tim?” You asked. You noticed the window to the fire escape was open. You walked over and shivered at the cold breeze.

He was standing on the edge of the roof and you froze. Your first thought was ‘is he going to jump?’ Your heart pounded as you gently called him and it scared you even more when he didn’t respond.

“Tim? Timothy? Tim, what are you doing?” You said with fear creeping in your voice. There was no way that you could climb the stairs up a level to stop him if he jumped right now. He looked down at you disoriented.

“What?”

“Please step back. You’re- you’re scaring me. Tim, please,” you said and he took a step back but looked bewildered. You quickly climbed the stairs.

“What’s wrong?” He asked in a daze. You pulled him into a hug and farther from the edge. Your body was shaking and he confusingly pat your back reassuringly.

“Don’t scare me like that,” you chided him before mentally kicking yourself. If he was that bad, he needed support not anger. He really didn’t seem to get it.

“What are you talking about? What’s got you so scared?” He finally said clearly.

“I thought- I thought you were going to jump,” you said burying your head in crook of his neck. Your fingers gripped the back of his shirt tightly and you listened to his heartbeat. You might never let go of him.

“Oh shit. I wasn’t- no. I just needed to think,” he said rubbing your hair gently. “Sorry I scared you.”

“It’s okay. I’m just worried. It’s a lot to lose your brother. Maybe you should talk to someone,” you said gently. He looked at you guiltily.

“I’ve been a little too lost in it, hu? Sorry. It’s just that.... I never expected this to happen. He always seemed invincible. He’d jump off the roof with no hooks or nets and swing on light poles before landing on the ground and wouldn’t hurt a thing. He’d take on metas and come out unscathed. That was just Dick, you know?” Tim said after a minute. “Nobody knew how he did it.”

Tim pulled you both to sit on a lawn chair on the roof. Your fingers played with the back of his hair and you couldn’t stop looking at him because you had never been so worried to lose Tim before. He flinched at the sight of how you looked at him. You were genuinely terrified earlier.

“I wouldn’t jump. I wouldn’t do that. Especially not to you,” Tim said and it scared you that you weren’t sure if he meant that he’d never do it or not where you’d possibly see. “Don’t worry. I’m right here.”

You let yourself believe that and you leaned into him, pressing your ear against his chest. His heartbeat calmed you and you listened to it as he rubbed your back. He stared out at the sky and Tim didn’t know how long you were both out there before he noticed that you had fallen asleep. He smiled a little.

Then his next thought was the logistics of getting you down to your bed without waking you. The fire escape wasn’t exactly built for carrying people through. Soft goosebumps were on your arms in the cold and Tim carefully picked you up and miraculously made it back into your apartment. After a few hair raising seconds where he almost smacked your head and feet on a door frame, he managed to get you in bed.

You hands had a death grip on his shirt and Tim was pulled into bed. It wasn’t the worst idea to get some sleep. And he certainly felt that he owed you some peace of mind after he scared you so bad. When was the last time he fell asleep? He laid back and you clung to him tightly.

The next morning you woke up warm. Far too warm. And arm was thrown over your face that you wiggled out from under and another held your back. You stretched your fingers that felt like they had been gripping something all night. The sun was out and Tim was still in bed. You put the pieces from the night before together and looked up at his face.

There was no scowl or wrinkle in his brow. He looked peaceful. His lips had a slight pout in sleep. His face had a light smattering of freckles across his nose and cheeks and his hair had fallen over his eyes. You gently brushed it back to get a better look at his beautiful face. You held the back of his head as light as you could while staring at him. You almost never got this view and you just watched him sleep for a few minutes.

“Isn’t it rude to stare,” he said after a while. You jumped a little and laughed.

“Did I wake you?” You asked.

“No. I think I actually got a full night sleep,” Tim said and he still hadn’t opened his eyes.

“Yeah, we should probably get breakfast,” you said moving to get up. Tim wrapped his arms around you tighter and squished you to his chest. You squeaked.

“Not yet. A few more minutes,” he mumbled almost back asleep. You chuckled and booped his nose. Tim’s eyes flew open. “What was that?”

“Waking you up,” you said and he gave you a fake glare before his arms slowly moved. Then Tim attacked your sides with a tickle. You shrieked and jumped back before he stopped. He smiled at you almost ruefully before gently kissing you chastely. His smile fell when he pulled back.

“I’ve got to go to Bludhaven today. Take care of some of his stuff that he’d want to keep,” Tim said and you frowned.

“Do you need me to go?” You were still worried about him.

“No, Jason is going. Don’t worry about me, okay,” Tim said seriously. “I need to get up because he’ll be here in 30 minutes? Maybe?”

The knock on the door said that his timing was a little off. Tim got up to go answer it. Jason stood there and he frowned as he looked Tim over.

“That’s your clothes from yesterday.”

“I’ve got to change,” Tim said, letting him in. You came out of the room with a sweater over your clothes and smiled at Jason who nodded his head at you. Tim went in the bedroom to change.

“Hey,” you whispered, barely audible. Jason looked at you confused. You hadn’t really interacted much before. “Watch out for him. He’s not okay. Alright?”

Jadon just nodded. “Anything I should know?”

“No. Not really. He scared me last night,” you admitted as you put on a pot of coffee. Jason gave you a look that clearly read ‘do I need to kick his ass?’

“What did he do?”

“He just stood on the roof edge. I thought- I thought he was going to jump,” you whispered and Jason’s face dropped. Tim hadn’t exactly had the most self preservation in his history.

“Shit, seriously?” He said with a sigh. You nodded.

“But he just seemed confused when I found him. I’m worried. Just watch out for him, okay?” You said.

“What are you two talking about?” Tim said walking in the room, throwing on a tie.

“Really? A full suit?” Jason said rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, one of us needs to look like a functional adult in case someone stops by. I can’t exactly wear sweats everywhere as WE’s CEO,” Tim said. You straightened the tie and collar.

“... and then there is you,” Tim said looking at Jason after you were done. “You look like you tattoo out of the back parking lot of a Denny’s.”

“Maybe I do,” he said dryly with a little curl to his lip. “Come on. We don’t want to be late.”

Tim nodded and gave you a kiss and Jason groaned by the door. He gave the ‘come on’ hand gesture. Tim rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know when I’m going to be back. See you later.”

“Bye.”

Half ways down the highway, with Tim as a captive audience, Jason starts to talk.

“How are you doing?”

“Fine.”

“Cut the shit. For real,” Jason said, violently passing a slow car on the highway in his truck. Tim grips the dash and is sure he’s going to die.

“I’m fine. Why do you think I’m lying?” Tim said through gritted teeth. Jason keeps driving roughly.

“Well, your girlfriend thought you were going to kill yourself last night and that isn’t exactly the first thought I’d have if I saw you on the roof. So either she’s being dramatic or you’re acting really off. Which is it, Timbo?” Jason said. Tim never missed Dick more. Jason had the subtly of a butter knife to the gut.

“I might be a little sadder, sure. I mean, my brother died,” Tim said. “Can you drive without trying to kill us?”

“I’m driving fine. Go on,” Jason said, crossing 3 lanes. The squeals of car horns behind them tell Tim he isn’t the only one that doesn’t like his driving.

“I’m gonna die in this car,” Tim muttered. Jason glared at him. “Watch the road! Okay. Fine. I feel numb. Okay? Like I don’t feel happy or sad about anything. And I’m fucking guilty because I should be over the moon because I just moved in with my girlfriend and then...”

“Then your brother died. It’s normal to feel like shit Tim. But to be numb.... you ever think you’re depressed?” Jason asked.

“I don’t know. I have anxiety,” Tim answered.

“You can have both. Is it this exit or the next?” Jason asked two second before the ramp comes up.

“This!” Tim yelped and Jason turned them off to a side road going at least 70 mph. Tim held the dash and considered praying despite being an atheist. Jason finally slowed down enough to not look like he’s driving a getaway car.

“I think you should see a therapist. I can give you mine’s number,” Jason said and Tim quickly turned to look at him.

“I didn’t know you went to therapy.”

“I was tortured, beat to death, and had to dig myself out of my own coffin. Does that seem mentally okay in anyway?”

“I mean, no. But I don’t know,” Tim said with a shrug. He just hadn’t thought about it.

“Anyways that’s not the point. The point is that she’s used to Gotham’s brand of bullshit and will help you. Okay?” Jason said driving into a parking lot and skidding into a space. “If you scare your girl like that again, I’ll knock you out.”

“Yeah. I won’t scare her again. It was an accident. And I’ll talk to your therapist,” Tim agreed. Jason nodded.

“Let’s go do something I’ve been dreading all week. Clean out golden boy’s apartment,” he said with a grimace. And they did. Anything of value was personally taken by the pair. Anything of Nightwing or Robin. Any Flying Grayson stuff. Anything that his brothers had gotten him. A moving service was moving the rest to a storage unit later that day.

Jason sat on the concrete steps outside the apartment and tossed Tim a beer. Tim barely caught it before sitting down himself. Jason pulled out his own.

“Jason, I’ll pay you ten thousand dollars to not drink that before we leave. Can we have this moment at the manor after we survive the drive home?” Tim asked and Jason sighed.

“Sure kid. Dickhead wouldn’t have liked me getting you drunk anyways. Let’s get this stuff back,” Jason said and they both went to the truck.

After dropping off the stuff and talking to Alfred, Tim and Jason were back in the truck. The beers were mercifully forgotten. Jason passed him a paper with a name and number.

“My therapist. You better call them. If not for you, for your girlfriend. You can just talk and shit,” he said not looking off the road. Jason knew better than to think that this kind of thing could be done for someone else. But he also knew it probably only took a tiny push for Tim to get help.

“Yeah, thanks.”

A few hours later Tim sat on his bed with his phone in hand. Yeah, he needed to call them.

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Okay but like I feel like Diego is the kind of person to flirt with really bad pick-up lines and Klaus is just Not Having It

featuring: Diego being a flustered Mama's boy and Klaus being a disaster dumbass and the two of them being completely in love with each other anyway

DISCLAIMER: None of the pick-up lines are mine, but the responses and ensuing shenanigans are :)

(there's fifty of these so buckle up kids :) sorry not sorry <3)

seriously though some of these are really bad

#1: He A Snack

Diego: Baby, you belong in the vending machine because you’re a snack.

Klaus: Diego you know I’m claustrophobic.

Diego: Don’t you mean Klaus-trophobic??? *finger guns*

Klaus: *blinks*

Klaus: I want a divorce.

#2: I’m From Hell

Diego: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Klaus: I’m a veteran addict and abuse victim who can see ghosts, Diego.

Klaus: Everything hurts.

#3: Animal Puns

Diego: *points to TV screen playing the Discovery Channel* Hey Klaus.

Diego: You’re my otter half.

Klaus: Diego those are meerkats.

#4: Stars

Diego: The stars are beautiful tonight.

Klaus: Yup.

Diego: You know who else is beautiful?

Klaus: Ben.

#5: Get Out Your Handcuffs Mister

Diego: You’re under arrest… for stealing my heart.

Klaus: Diego you got kicked out of the police academy like five years ago, just give up.

#6: Bad Boys

Diego: *leaning against the doorframe like a moron* So. I hear you like bad boys.

Klaus: Diego you cried because you accidentally stepped on a bee last week.

Diego: Well yeah but -

Klaus: You held a funeral for it. You made us all speak. You had Allison fly in from California. It was a fucking bee, Diego.

Diego: … I wear leather?

Klaus: So does every other kid who shops at Hot Topic. You’re not special.

#7: Prince Charming

Diego: Your knight in shining armor is here -

Klaus: One, that’s a turtleneck, not armor.

Klaus: Two, you’re covered in blood. That’s the opposite of shiny.

Klaus: Three, you smell like dead fish. Go take a shower.

#8: Chemistry

Diego: Did we have a class together? Because I could’ve sworn we had -

Klaus: Chemistry? Yup. Also English and math and foreign languages and history and like every other fucking thing because we grew up in the same sadistic boarding school, Diego.

#9: The Store Can’t Just Give Away Things For Free. That’s A Terrible Way To Run A Business.

Diego: I like your pants.

Klaus: Thanks. I got them out of a dumpster. And yes, you can have them 100% off.

Diego: *voice cracks* Really?

Klaus: No.

#10: Boyfriend Material

Diego: My jeans are made of -

Klaus: You’re wearing leather pants Diego.

Diego: Okay but -

Klaus: So they’re made of leather and they’re not fucking jeans.

#11: Digits

Diego: I lost my phone number. Can I have -

Klaus: None of us have phones, Diego.

Diego: I can… buy us some?

Klaus: Fine. I want my number to be 1-420-420-4201.

Diego: Baby no.

Klaus: *pulling out the puppy dog eyes* Pwetty pwease?

Diego: Fine, but mine’s gonna be 1-696-969-6969.

Klaus: I love you so much. Marry me. Have my babies.

#12: Love At First Sight

Diego: Do you believe in love at first sight or -

Klaus: If I did I’d have already fallen in love with a lot of hot ghosts.

Diego: - should I walk by again?

Klaus: You’ve been pacing for the past ten minutes, Gogo. I think if it was gonna happen it would’ve by now.

#13: You Have Fine Written All Over You

Diego: Are you a parking ticket? Cause -

Klaus: Diego I can’t drive.

#14: His Eyes Are Green Not Blue You Dipshit

Diego: Your eyes are an ocean, and I’m lost at sea.

Klaus: ... can’t you, like, hold your breath forever?

Diego: *blinks* Baby, I love you, but you’re ruining this with our childhood trauma.

Klaus: Well since you’ve refused therapy I just thought this was the next best option.

Diego: I take back what I said about loving you.

#15: Math Is Dumb And I Wish School Would Stop Teaching It

Diego: Are you a forty-five degree angle?

Klaus: Actually, because humans have non-linear body shapes, it’s impossible for their specific angles to be measured -

Diego: Are you high or have you been defiling Five’s books again?

Klaus: *blinks* Why can’t it be both?

Diego: *rethinking life decisions*

#16: Baby I’m All Yours

Diego: Do you have a name?

Klaus: Klaus.

Diego: Or can I call you mine?

Klaus: I mean I prefer “baby”, but sure.

Diego: *super wide eyes* Really?

Klaus: *melts into a puddle of glitter* Yeah, Gogo.

#17: (Not) Bookworms

Diego: Thank god I brought my library card. Cause I’m here to check you out.

Klaus: *through a mouthful of waffles* God isn’t real. We all die and rot beneath the earth to be eaten by maggots. There is no such thing as a higher power.

Klaus: *swallows waffles and takes a really loud slurp of an orange juice and chocolate milk combo*

Klaus: Oh, and the library’s closed for renovations til, like, Christmas so you’re outta luck, sorry.

Diego: I thought you met god? Little girl on a bicycle?

Klaus: Her? Nah, only Satan’s got that much sass. Plus, that wasn’t heaven.

Diego: And you know this how?

Klaus: *squishes Diego’s face with both hands* Think about it. Do you really think dear ol’ dad’s in heaven?

Diego: Can you let of my face please?

#18: Bad Move, Buddy

Diego: Are you a pre-historic fossil? Cause you’re my missing link.

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus: Did you just call me old?

Diego, backing out of the room slowly: What? No! No of course not! No, obviously no, absolutely not -

Klaus: *releases savage war cry*

Diego: *runs for his goddamn life*

#19: I Rate This 0/10

Diego: Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only -

Klaus: I don’t know where I’m from. I’m an orphan.

Diego: Oh… I know, baby -

Klaus: And the piece of shit that adopted me lived in New York anyway. We’re in New York right now actually. Do you need a geography lesson? I think Pogo’s got a map -

Diego: Klaus.

#20: Oh Shit

Diego: If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus: *tears up* I’m nothing?

Diego: Oh no. No no no. No, baby, you’re not nothing, don’t cry, I’m so sorry, that’s not what I meant, baby - oh my god please don’t cry -

#21: You’ve Got Everything I’m Searching For

Diego: Is your name Google? Because -

Klaus: Diego. For the last time…

Klaus: My name is Kimberly Linda Aerealia Ulysses Saffron Hargreeves the Twenty-Fourth. I don’t know why I need to keep explaining this to you -

Diego, kissing him quiet: You’re my favorite person in the world, you know that?

#22: Don’t Make Bets You’ll Lose, Luther.

Diego: Luther bet me a hundred bucks I couldn’t talk to the prettiest person here. How do you wanna spend his money?

Klaus: Drugs.

Diego: Baby -

Klaus: *beams* Nah, I’m just kidding. Stuffed giraffes.

Diego: *grins* For Five?

Klaus: *nods* For Five.

Diego:

Klaus:

Diego: He’ll hate them.

Klaus: Exactly. Let’s go.

#23: Deja Vu

Diego: Have we met before?

Klaus: Yes. Obviously. Are you also high?

Diego: No -

Diego: Wait, you’re high?

Klaus:

Diego:

Klaus:

Diego:

Klaus: No?

#24: Such An Optimist

Diego: Are you a time traveller?

Klaus: No, that’s Five.

Diego: Cause I think you’re my future!

Klaus: *stares blankly*

Diego: No? Nothing? Nada?

Klaus: In the future we’re all dead dipshit.

Klaus: Because. Ya know.

Klaus: THERE’S A FUCKING APOCALYPSE COMING.

Diego:

Diego: Okay then.

#25: Please Go To The Hospital.

Diego: Are you my appendix? Cause my stomach’s fluttering and I think I should take you out.

Klaus:

Klaus: Did you drink water from the fish tank again?

Diego: *turning green* Luther dared me to okay???!!!!

#26: Suicidal Tendencies

Diego: Hey gorgeous -

Klaus: Let me guess. I should drop dead?

Diego: What?! No! Baby -

#27: Infinitely On The Naughty List (And Not The Good Kind Of Naughty List (If There Is One I’m Asexual I Don’t Know))

Diego: Are you Santa Klaus? Cause you make all my wishes come true.

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus: You have five seconds to run.

Diego: *already two streets away* Fucking shit -

#28: You Can’t Use That Every Time We Have An Argument, Tony.

Diego: Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?

Klaus: I mean, there’s one in the corner of our living room right now, so I guess?

Diego:

Diego:

Diego:

Diego: *squeaks* You - you can see dinosaur ghosts?

Klaus: I mean, there’s a chance that thing Ben’s petting is just a super deformed ostrich, but yeah, I think so.

Diego:

Diego:

Diego:

Diego: *tearing up* That’s so cool.

#29: A Whole New Kind Of Thirst Trap

Diego: I’m thirsty. But guess whose body is 75% water?

Diego: *smirks*

Klaus: *frowns*

Klaus: Hold on, I know this one…

Diego: Klaus -

Klaus: *snaps fingers* Oh, I know! Luther!

Diego: *horrified* What the fuck Klaus why the fuck would you say that -

#30: What A Tragedy

Diego: You must be a campfire. Because you’re super hot and I want s’more.

Klaus:

Klaus: Diego sweetheart, you’re allergic to marshmallows.

Diego: *tearing up* I know.

Klaus: You wanna hug, baby?

Diego: *crying* Yes please.

#31: That Can’t Be Allowed

Diego: Don’t tell me if you want me to take you out to dinner. Just smile for yes, or do a backflip/somersault/counter-spin gymnastics combination for no.

Klaus: *smirks*

Klaus: *does a triple flip and lands perfectly on the top of the bar counter*

Diego: *turns bright red* That was h-h-hot.

Klaus: *beams and jumps down into Diego’s arms bridal-style*

Klaus: *kisses his cheek* I know, baby.

#32: Merry Christmas

Diego: You’re the reason Santa started the Naughty List.

Klaus: *blinks*

Klaus: *pouts*

Klaus: No fair! He told me last week I was on the Nice List!

Diego: What? Klaus? What does that -

Diego: OH MY GOD KLAUS IS SANTA DEAD???!!!!

#33: I’ll Keep You Safe, Honey.

Diego: I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me instead?

Klaus: *pulls out a stuffed tiger*

Klaus: He got lost in the kitchen. Don’t worry, I rescued him for you.

Diego: *takes soft tiger*

Diego: *voice cracks* Oh. Thanks.

Klaus: *kisses his forehead* You’re welcome, baby.

#34: Excuse Me?

Diego: The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.

Klaus, internally: Shit. What if he finds out I stole like five of his knives and all of the cookies last week?

Klaus, externally: *blinks*

Klaus: Um… Stefonopolis?

#35: I Am Not Apologizing For This One

Diego: If you were a steak, you’d be well done.

Klaus: But I’m so unique…

Klaus: I talk to the dead, Diego.

Diego: Okay…?

Klaus: *smirks*

Klaus: So wouldn’t I be medium rare?

Ben: Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#36: Leonardo Da Vinci Was Arrested Multiple Times For Homosexual Activity.

Diego: Is this a museum? Cause you’re a work of art.

Klaus: *dancing to the soundtrack of High School Musical 3* Actually Five took me back to Italy once. Leonardo da Vinci and I had some fun.

Diego:

Diego: Oh my god. Seriously?

Diego: *looks up picture of Mona Lisa, now titled Mona Klausa*

Diego: How the fuck -

#37: Why Would You Say That Though

Diego: Am I sleepwalking? Cause I’ve only seen you in my dreams.

Klaus: *sitting on the counter and eating a donut in one bite* Are they dirty?

Luther: *chokes on a pickle*

Diego: Oh my god no -

Diego: Well sometimes -

Diego: I mean no of course not -

Luther: *praying to whoever’s up there to just kill him already*

#38: Be Safe Kids!

Diego: Can you hold this for me?

Klaus: Sweetie, you need to wash your hands.

#39: Apocalypse Averted!

Diego: If looks could kill, you’d be a weapon of mass destruction.

Klaus: *blinks*

Klaus: I thought that was Vanya.

Diego:

Diego, panicking: Holy shit Klaus you can’t just say things like that -

Vanya: *crying from laughter*

#40: Attractive

Diego: Do you swallow magnets? Because you’re -

Klaus: *shoves him up against the wall*

Klaus: How did you find out? Who told you? Was it Ben? I swear to god I’ll kill him -

Diego: *squeaks* What?

#41: First You’ve Gotta Propose Diego

Diego: Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?

Klaus: Diego. Did you buy me a cake?

Diego:

Klaus:

Diego:

Klaus: I’m waiting.

Diego: Right sir yes sir right away sir -

#42: He May Not Be A Kitten But He Is As Soft As One

Diego: If I followed you home, would you keep me?

Klaus: I’m homeless, Diego.

Diego: What? You are? Oh no, baby - you can come stay with me?

Klaus: *looks up from Disney Princess coloring book and raises an eyebrow* Is your bed available?

Diego, blushing: Ye-yeah, b-ba-baby. Whe-whenever you-u w-want.

Klaus: *smiles*

Klaus: *takes Diego’s hand*

Klaus: Okay.

Diego: *dies a little bit inside (in a good way)*

#43: It’s Just You.

Diego: Is it hot in here or is it just you?

Klaus, blushing: I -

Five: DIEGO. THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE. NOW IS NOT THE TIME.

#44: ‘Scuse Me, Mate?

Diego: You know, penguins mate for life. Wanna be my penguin?

Klaus: Eh. I’ve always been more of an iguana man.

Diego:

Diego:

Diego:

Diego: What?

#45: You Look Like… Antonio Banderas With The Long Hair.

Diego: How’s the most beautiful person in the world doing today?

Klaus: *buried in a Vogue magazine* I don’t know I’m not Antonio Banderas.

#46: What The Fuck Klaus

Diego: Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.

Klaus: *hands him a Candyland board* Here. I stole it from Pogo.

#47: You Dumbass

Diego: I hate my last name. Can I borrow yours?

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus: We have the same last name, Diego.

Diego: *blinks*

Diego: Fuck you’re right -

#48: Okay But Diego Would Make A Great Aladdin Though

Diego: I’m not a genie, but I can still make your dreams come true.

Klaus: *wrinkles his nose*

Klaus: You can get me a pink elephant with jaundice?

Diego: *blinks*

Diego: What the fuck Klaus -

#49: HELLO

Diego: Is that a knife or are you just happy to see me?

Klaus: I don’t just have random knives on me Diego, I’m not you.

Diego: So you are happy to see me?

Klaus: I mean you just interrupted a very riveting episode of Sesame Street, so… we’ll see.

#50: It’s Always Best To Start With The Truth.

Diego: I love you.

Klaus: *beams* That’s all you had to say, darling.

[pallasperilous]

Boneless Wings

 {AO3 version}

So, blah blah blah, it’s their standard-issue disaster: pack of dumbass witches (always with the dumbass witches. Where do they find the time for this shit? Somebody get these women signed up for a Peloton subscription or a macramé class or a vibrator of the month club, seriously, whatever it takes—), ancient curse, Castiel being the actual angel of stepping in it, nobody cares. 

The point is, two hundred and forty-one hours of binge-worthy drama later, Dean and Cas are living in a semi-detached just a short thirty-minute commute to somewhere equally lame, Castiel has two literal-ass wings, and yes, Susan, they kiss now. 

The neighbors are weirdly cool with it. 

For those of you perving along at home, Dean could absolutely provide a list of the hundred or so ways that having a boyfriend* with giant fucking actual wings is super hot and/or awesome.

This is not that list.

(*you can just shut right the fuck up , Sam, because it’s either this or Dean will start saying lover. And nobody needs that. Nobody wants that.)

1.  Bird mites. Holy shit. 

 2.  Sharing a bathroom. The shower curtain rod, and consequently the security deposit, are early casualties. The medicine cabinet follows swiftly behind. Shower hijinks are not even an option.

 3.  Dean comes home one day from a gig and there is a giant plastic green turtle in the backyard. A closer inspection reveals that the turtle is actually a mule for about half a truck bed of industrial dust ‘n grit. It is, in fact, a kiddie sandbox. Dean points out that they do not, in fact, have a small child (FINGERS CROSSED), so...?

Cas then earnestly shows him an entire playlist of exotic birdy dust bath videos on Youtube. 

Dean then earnestly shows him the garden hose. 

4.  The down just gets, like...everywhere. EVERYWHERE. How many times have Sam and Dean practically sold their kidneys for a single angel feather for some dumb spell to solve some pointless Occult McProblem? And now Dean is picking them out of his damn teeth every morning. (No, gross, not because of... Jesus, no, that is not a thing.)

On the upside of this one, Dean finally has an excuse to buy a Dyson, which he’s secretly always thought looked awesome. It is. 

 5.  When Dean is scraping out the umpteenth canister of fluff he jokingly suggests they use some of it to supplement the tragically flaccid down comforter currently shaming their bed, and Castiel pitches an existential fucking sulk. Dean wants to experience happiness again, so he does not point out that it get ass-bitingly cold here this time of year, and decent bedding is not exactly inexpensive, and the Dyson kind of maxed them out on household purchases.

But whatever.

 6.  Castiel is indulging in what Dean thinks of as a sky pout when he flies right into a head-on with li’l Timmy NextDoor’s new Christmas surveillance drone. It dings the shit out of one of Cas’s left primary feathers (the scientific term is “those big motherfuckers”), which apparently hurts like a bitch. Cas is grounded for a few weeks after that and is cutely pathetic about it and at first Dean is absolutely down to kiss it better. By the end, Dean is almost ready to strangle Cas with his own necktie, but he has learned a lot of surprisingly interesting stuff about ancient Mesopotamia, like that it was super horny.

 7.  After the snow melts, Dean starts finding shit on the front step with the morning paper. It’s not even a good newspaper; Cas signed them up for the local fish-wrapper (or maybe it was Sam, before he fled for the hills— he occasionally breaks out in a  “support local journalism” rash). The crossword puzzle is insulting, but the paper does at least syndicate Carolyn Hax, whom Dean secretly suspects of being an absolute wildcat in the sack, so he grudgingly expends the calories to bring it in every morning. 

Anyway, at first the stuff he discovers crapping up the welcome mat is just shiny bits of trash — couple granola wrappers, some MGD pull-tabs, a few field-stripped twisty-ties. Probably just windblown, and he tosses it in the garbage can. 

Then a couple weeks in, things start getting...grisly? It escalates real slowly, from a variety platter of mouse bits to squirrel à la power line and then half of a dry-aged raccoon and an opossum that has recently graduated from playing dead to professional dead-being. The neighborhood crows obviously love that their front step is now a roadkill café; Dean has to bat increasing numbers of them away with the kitchen broom in order to relocate their horrible snack to the edge of the nearest storm drain.

Then one morning there are like twenty crows and they’re in just the cutest little football huddle-up around what turns out to be a human fucking finger with a retro-fun mood ring still on the knuckle (it’s feeling: Sad) and Dean fully loses his shit. 

Cas hears him freaking out and comes whomping out of the garage ready to, whatever, flap somebody to death maybe, but as soon as he establishes that Dean doesn’t need anything more than a fresh pair of boxers, he de-poofs a bit and assesses the whole human finger/crows situation in his usual infuriatingly unrushed way. The crows had mostly bounced up to the cable line over the house, safely out of brooming range, but one by one they start to drop down and hippity-hop back towards the world’s tiniest crime scene.

If Dean were five percent less freaked he’d be tempted to go inside and find out how much of a dent he can make in a six-pack before Castiel finally dings and spits out his results, but he isn’t, so he just stands there in silence clutching the broom like it’s a shotgun.

Eventually Cas says “hm,” and then he looks at the crows and makes some noises that sound like a spoon caught in a garbage disposal, and the crows make some scrawps and chuks back, and then one of them delicately noodges the tip of dead finger with its beak and then hippity hops back a foot or two, bows, and then they all fly away over the shitty little beige duplex across the street like they’re running ten minutes late to an important bird appointment.

Castiel stands up (Dean reflexively backs up into the doorway, as this involves Cas bomfing out his wings a bit for ballast and Dean has caught a blow to the nuts on more than one occasion), dusts off his goddamn slacks, pulls a plastic evidence baggie out of thin goddamn air or maybe his socks, and casually bags the finger like they’re doing a standard FBI wheeze. “So what,” Dean says, as Cas diligently zips the baggie, “the fuck?”

“Oh,” Cas says, blinking in surprise that Dean is still there and interested, “they think I’m their god.”

Dean kind of stares back at him, the six feet of dude and like sixteen feet of bird, and thinks sure, okay, but his face must still be stuck on “Tippi Hedren attic scene” because Cas puts a reassuring hand on Dean’s shoulder and adds “Don’t worry. I’ve told them I don’t require further offerings, and I reassured them that you’re my consort and were simply jealous of other potential mates.”

It takes Dean two weeks to come up with a response to that, but by then it’s become evident that no bird is ever going to shit on the Impala again, so he decides to just chalk it up in the win column and move on.

You know. The family business.

8.  No matter how tightly he folds them, Cas can’t fit his wings through the definitely-not-up-to-code doorway of the wood-paneled family rec room in the basement, so Dean claims it as his man cave and dubs it the “No Fly Zone.” 

Castiel doesn’t find this funny, but Dean really only uses it to fold laundry. 

 9.  Transpo is an obvious issue. Cas can almost stuff himself into the Impala if he sort of reverse-cowgirls the back seat, but then the wingtips smoosh up against the windshield and Dean’s visibility is approximately zip. And, sure, Cas could fly himself anywhere they really needed to go, he’s basically a Chevy Of The Air, but sometimes it’s raining, and the seraph Castiel — Shield of God, Heavenly Soldier of the Lord, multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent, will smell like a wet fucking chicken for days afterward. Febreze does not help.

Dean spends a few nauseating weeks contemplating the purchase of — and here he learns that the human gag reflex can be conditioned, but never truly eradicated — a convertible. Once Cas brings up the possibility of a minivan or perhaps a station wagon (he’s taken to studying family motor vehicles with all the intensity of a birder with a life list) and Dean makes him sleep on the couch.

Dean gets his own living room rotation after he shows Cas a Craigslist posting for a very reasonably priced horse trailer. Castiel points out that it’s used and Dean notes that neither of them is exactly mint in original packaging either. Castiel points out that he’s not a horse, and after a few necessary but admittedly unoriginal jokes, Dean pulls up a website with an exhaustive photographic tutorial on how to convert a horse trailer “for the safe and sanitary transport of ostriches, emus, and/or cassowaries.” Cas points out that he’s not an ostrich, emu, and/or cassowary, and Dean counters that he clearly isn’t, because an emu would probably show a little more gratitude, and that’s how Dean learns that the couch has a broken spring under the left cushion. The transpo issue remains unresolved.

 10.  Dean keeps a pair of shop-grade safety goggles by his side of the bed. It’s not the sexiest look, but it turns out feathers are stabby as hell when encountered at a particular angle. Cas can do the healy thing, of course, but they learn the hard way that cornea perforation is not really a mood enhancer. On the bright side, Castiel accidentally corrects Dean’s incipient presbyopia, which means Dean doesn’t have to hold the newspaper at arm’s length anymore when he’s idly speculating what Carolyn Hax looks like below the neck. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

 11.  You’d think that, when you’re coming down from a time-limited but incurable curse that makes you feel like every cell of your body has its own cute little individual headcold — because you missed a hex bag due to the fact that you were preparing your legal response to Sam turning up to the hunt wearing a goddamn hair scrunchy, as if he were fresh off the set of a very special episode of Clarissa Explains It All — anyway, you’d think that being wrapped in the warm embrace of an angel’s wings would be nice. 

But you would be wrong, because apparently your boyfriend has been out communing with the bees again, and those feathers pick up ragweed pollen like it’s their goddamn job, and guess what else angels can’t cure? Dean will take Motherfucking Seasonal Allergies for 600, Alex. 

12a.  One of the neighbors has that homesteading hippie brain disease that drives an otherwise normal-seeming person to brew their own beer and raise a bunch of chickens despite living within five hundred yards of a fully functioning Hy-Vee. There’s a week where one of the wee little velociraptors seems to be processing some kind of trauma because it starts yelling at dawn and keeps going until well past the hour that swearing is allowed on network TV. 

When Dean finally hammers on the front door the next afternoon the neighbor apologizes with some extremely nasty home-brew (HIPPIES) and some absolutely devastating weed (HIPPIES!) and explains that “Ginger is going through a rough molt” and then he kind of nods his head towards Dean’s side of the fence where Cas is futzing around in the squash plants and stage whispers (this is a direct quote) “You know how they get.”

Dean is about to rip the dude a new one for comparing his immortal space-kaiju lover to a fucking Australorp yard pullet when Castiel pops his head up over the white pickets and breezily contributes “Bad molt, yes, those are terrible, Dean can tell you all about how insufferable I am those weeks,” and sometimes Dean just doesn’t know why he even tries.

 12b.  The less said about angel molt, the better. 

Seriously, the freakin’ eyes-on-his-hands naked mole rat dude from, whatsit, Pan’s Labyrinth of Subtitles, would run screaming from this shit. 

 13.  There’s a 4th of July BBQ Potluck Block Party and Dean’s inability to stand idly by while good meat is abused ( shut up Sam ) means he winds up manning the grill and dismissing the pretenders to set some strictly inedible things on fire. Cas hangs out next to him and uses his flappers to kinda whupf the smoke away from Dean’s eyes now and then, which rules. It’s actually a pretty chill event until Sharon and Don From Number 4267, The Green House With The White Trim, turn up with a giant Pyrex full of naked, still-marinating teriyaki wings. 

Sharon And Don look down at their wings and then up at Castiel and then down at the wings and then up at Castiel and they are clearly teetering on the edge of a Midwestern politeness failure-based nervous breakdown. But then Cas, smooth as a margarine commercial, gently takes the dish from Sharon’s frozen hands, examines the contents for a silent moment, and says “it’s alright. They weren’t personal friends.”

He gets an extra burger for that one.

 14.  Cas keeps absent-mindedly trying to groom Dean — who, in case it still needs to be said at this point, possesses zero-point-zero feathers of his own — so he goes after Dean’s hair, instead. Dean has to stop him after his second hour of trying to straighten out a cowlick. “I don’t understand how you can steer properly with this deformity,” Cas says, as if it’s a genuine miracle that Dean isn’t constantly careening over ottomans like Dick Van Dyke. He’s even more horrified by Dean’s (frankly minimal) use of hair gel. “Jesus, Cas, it’s not like I’m drinking it,” he says, but then one time they have an epic make-out session shortly after Dean performs his masculine beauty rituals and there’s some smearage of various types of Product (tm) on the flappy areas. 

And, sonuvabitch, for the next six hours Cas is spirographing around the house like he has a heavenly inner ear infection, and he only stops veering into the doorframes after Dean wipes down every. Single. Feather. With mineral oil and about eighteen clean shop cloths. Dean switches to something called hair wax, which costs thirty zillion times more per ounce and makes him smell vaguely like church, but is a lot less gloppy. The things we do for love.

 15.  Seating inside the house is a bit of a conundrum, too. Cas can kind of flop his wings out to the sides if he sits in the middle of the couch, but then Dean’s stuck on the recliner, which is basically in the next county. Bar stools are disastrously tippy, Dean’s lower back and hips have not endured mumble-mumble years of hunting just to be subjected to a damn beanbag chair, and, after a brief flurry of optimistic excitement, Dean determines that they’d have to take the front door off to get a massage chair in. He finds a swing online that if, he can get the hardware properly installed in the crossbeam, is rated for up to 500 pounds, so he texts Cas the URL so he can check out the specs. After half an hour he writes back —

CASTIEL: Dean

CASTIEL: I believe this swing is intended for sexual congress.

DEAN: ...

CASTIEL: I can infer from the ellipsis that you have spent several minutes attempting to draft a response.

DEAN: ...

CASTIEL: Dean

DEAN: it’s multipurpose

  16 . On the plus side, though, big-ass wings make for a pretty good drying rack. He can get every sock in the house laid out on those suckers in a single round and, one episode of Dr. Sexy later, they’re perfectly dry and toasty warm, without any of the pair-busting casualties Dean has learned to expect from the apparently socknivorous dryer in the basement. 

Dean assumes it’s just the product of good air circulation and body heat until he realizes that he hasn’t had to toss a pair for being too worn out in...maybe six months? So he asks Cas “Are your wings... healing the socks” and after an entire Abbott and Costello routine centering around heal versus heel, Dean determines that the answer is: yes, his boyfriend’s wings are channeling the almighty power of Heaven to magically repair the socks Dean buys at Target in twelve-pack bags. On sale.

This is actually kind of sexy, if Dean is being perfectly honest, so, you know what? It doesn’t belong on this list.

 16.  So nobody really freaks out or bursts into tears or calls the news or the FBI or anything when Cas goes out in public with him, which Dean is secretly a little disappointed about, because come on. (Maybe giant wings just reads as a gay thing? Was there an episode of Will and Grace about this that Dean missed back when he was ass deep in wendigos or something?)

But no. Dudes tend to just glance at them across the Home Depot parking lot, throw them the Mutual Dude Acknowledgement Nod, and say some shit like “Comic-con,” or “nice anime” in a knowing tone. Then they go back to rolling their carts full of gaskets or hammers or whatever back to their mom’s station wagon. 

Little girls tend to go googly-eyed — Castiel seems to fall into the same category as a Disney princess, despite the stubble and the drabcore wardrobe, and Dean can’t count the number of times some mom has approached Dean at the grocery store (like he’s Castiel’s manager?? Which, okay...yeah, actually) and asked if they do birthday parties. The money would actually be pretty tempting if Dean weren’t five thousand percent sure that Cas would get them both arrested by launching into an anatomy lesson about duck sex or how God is a loser who favors relaxed fit jeans and Wild Turkey.

The worst is white ladies of a Certain Age, and it always seems to happen in the pudding aisle, for some reason. They either go cross-eyed with horniness and become indiscriminately handsy (Dean can’t blame them for the impulse, but also back off, Karen), or ask Cas for prayers for their cat’s chronic asshole problems (which Castiel WILL take seriously). 

Worst of all is when some hippie spinster clocks them. This woman inevitably reaches right for the feathers and asks in a willowy voice if they’d ever consider turning some of them into dreamcatchers to sell at her studio, which is literally always named The Faerie’s Glen. Then Cas gets confused about why, exactly, a sixty year-old WASP in a peasant skirt would need to call on the infant-protection powers of an Ojibwe spider goddess, while Dean just wants to bite the lady’s fingers off. 

Either way, it’s always a bad scene, and many fully loaded grocery carts have been lost to the fallout.

17.  For some metaphysical reason Dean is too dumb to suss out but also too smart to question, lugging a pair of Cessna-sized flappers around this mortal dimension actually seems to tucker Cas out. He doesn’t need to zonk out every night, but he semi-regularly throws in the towel and actually crawls in with Dean for the duration. 

This would be swell in theory, but the guy absolutely cannot settle the fuck down in less than three (3) human hours, which is the exact amount of sleep Dean requires to maintain his famously sunny demeanor. It’s not just ye olde tossing and turning — Dean can handle that, sharing a bed with Sam is like sleeping next to a kangaroo with restless leg syndrome — no, it’s a nonstop parade of little flippy-flappies and shiffle-shuffles and spontaneous outbursts of preening. 

So Dean makes him a Baby Sleep Sack. 

This is something Dean knows about due solely to one super dumb hunt involving a banishing sigil that had to be drawn in — he still feels like this had to be a misprint — human breastmilk, and that was obviously not happening. But the monster of the week wasn’t going to banish itself, so they wound up at the nearest Walmart, at 4am, picking up what turned about to be an unnecessarily generous supply of baby formula, along with a fresh box of shotgun shells because God bless America*. It doesn’t work, although “lots of stabbing” turns out to be a solid fallback plan, but the point is that while Sam was debating between Digestion Support or Neurological Development, Dean acquired an unprecedented familiarity with some of the products currently available to the sleep-deprived parent. So Dean finds some DIY Baby Sleep Sack knockoff patterns online and determines he can replicate and scale up the concept with some beach towels and duct tape, and the next morning he presents the lumpy but totally functional prototype to Castiel. 

Initially Cas thinks it’s a sex thing (reasonable, it probably is), but once they clear up that misunderstanding, he’s obviously a little peeved by the concept of being swaddled as if he were a gassy baby instead of a deathless sky monster in a sexy dude-shaped can. But Dean must be giving off some serious man on the edge vibes because Cas grudgingly agrees to let Dean tape him up the next time he’s feeling dozy. 

It’s real awkward and takes forever to get Cas bundled up right, and then he’s just kind of lying there on top of the sheets, like an enormous, grumpy baked potato. 

“I could easily break out of these restraints,” he says in a pissy tone after Dean has crawled in and turned off the light, and Dean rolls over to tell him “no shit”, but then he has to stop himself because the guy is already asleep.

Eventually they upgrade to a version made out of some of those trendy weighted blanket things, a few yards of parachute silk, and a whole lot of velcro. The dude looks so damn peaceful that Dean is honestly a little jealous.

*he doesn’t, actually. 

 18.  There’s a sunny afternoon that isn’t the usual Kansas is trying to murder you level of humid so Dean rolls the Impala out into the street for a wash. Cas helps him out a bit initially, although tragically not in a way that involves removing any unnecessary articles of clothing, but Deans sends him to grab a new tub of wax from the shed and he never comes back. After half an hour Dean needs a beer break and goes looking for him, expecting to find Cas lost in thought over whether Turtle Wax is made of actual turtles, or is made to put on actual turtles. Instead he finds Cas crouched on the shimmering pavement at the back of the driveway, sun beating down on him like it has a personal vendetta, and he’s got both wings stretched out real low above the ground. Dean kind of flips out because it’s the type of pose that just screams “stabbed in gut by angel blade” or “migraine from Hell, literally.”

Then Cas looks up, which pulls his wings up a smidge too, which in turn reveals that fully half a dozen neighborhood cats are lounging in the shady patch beneath his wings, spread out on the concrete like blobs of furry peanut butter. No, it’s actually eight cats. There are eight cats.

“Ling-Ling was feeling a little overheated,” Cas says, as if this explains everything. 

And, you know what, at this point, it does.

 19.  Dean has faith that eventually Sam or Cas or the third demon from the left in the second row will turn up a solution for the whole business. Castiel will get to tuck those bad boys back into the secret wing-closet dimension and he won’t have to worry about getting stuck in stairwells anymore, or being reported to the FAA (again). Then they can finally pack up the house, plaster over the more egregious spots of drywall damage, and go back to killing things outside of the tri-county area. The whole thing has been a pretty embarrassing interlude for a couple of dudes who’ve kicked Satan’s ass multiple times — Sam is probably telling other hunters that they’ve been deep undercover to take out a nest of suburban vampires, or a pack of ghouls with mortgages, instead of vacuuming angel down out of the AC unit and considering a Costco membership. 

And sure, there have been some...serious pluses to the situation (see: the other list), but, in his weaker moments, Dean has to admit that he’s kind of going to miss some of the goofy, irritating shit, too — like finding a six-inch feather in the veggie crisper (how? why?), or watching Cas fwap his wings out just in time to accidentally clothesline a jogger, or even the strangely compelling, sorta cheesy smell that starts to float around the house if Cas goes a little too long between hosedowns. 

He has actually grown fond of this shit. Which is 100% the least sexy thing on earth, it’s some genuinely, seriously pathetic goo goo crap, and that’s why nobody will ever hear a fucking word about it. People will ask “so what’s it like, with the wings” and Dean will waggle his eyebrows suggestively and review the highlight reel over an inadvisable amount of rail whiskey. His secret’s safe with, well. Him.

 20.  Seriously though, the bird mites. 

Gross.

[writeriteright]

Promises

It is 2009 and the 5 of us are a mess of lipstick and miniskirts, stuffed animals and tamagotchi, sitting in a circle on Michelle’s king sized bed, armed with sparkly pencils and colored paper. We are bright eyed, wide eyed, leaning over an older sibling’s laptop, scrolling through pages of white gold rings crowned with a single clear stone. A promise of forever that we all wanted.

5 years later, 4 years after we have fallen apart, when I finally admit to myself that we had splintered long ago and the shards are too fine to ever piece back together, I dig out the hot pink friendship bracelet with the rhinestone heart and hold it to my chest. I wonder if instead of bangles I had bought those rings for us, if it would have linked us somehow or if they would have also sat unworn and unwanted in the bottom of childhood jewelry boxes.

It is 2015 and we are a blur of laughter and first times, joined hands and cheap wine. We lie with each other on a couch to watch a movie and you whisper in my ear sleep-soft promises of a family and our future. We are half-formed ourselves with dreams bigger than the universe and when I get on airplane to leave for a country that has winter and snow, you make a promise of precious stones set in a fine silver band. A promise of forever.

2 years later, when I finally admit to myself that the only bands you ever gave me were the mental bars of a self imposed jail cell, I tell you to keep your promises to yourself and feel nothing when I delete your number from my phone. Yet I keep your silver plated ring, the one with a little gold heart, I keep it and wonder if maybe my heart is made of the diamonds you promised, unfeelingly slicing through our relationship and not beating out even a single tear of loss.

It is 2015 and we are cake mix with too much butter, a whole tub of heavy cream, a drawer full of new boxes of stale cigarettes, perfectly manicured nails and dyed hair. You are everything I have ever wanted and in the dark of my room, I think privately to myself that this time, this will last forever and there is no need for gleaming rings or shiny stones.

9 months later, when I finally admit to myself that forever is a promise I am incapable of making, I am admitted to a hospital because it was all my fault and I mourn, pine and miss you more than I value my life. In the warm room they leave me alone in, I think that forever belongs to those who are determined and unwavering, who pump blood through their hearts, and not to me, whose cold, stone heart only knows how to hurt those they love the most.

It is 2018 and we are hands linked under covers on lazy weekend afternoons, comfortable silences, good-natured teasing in short car rides. I have learnt my lesson and I don’t make promises anymore, but you don’t make any either, just press your thumb in circles on the back of my hand as you tell me that you see us lasting a long time.

1 year later, when I finally admit to myself that I am full of hope for the future, I ask from your bed, groggy from an afternoon nap that lasted too long, I ask you to marry me and you say yes. Neither of us are naive enough to believe this is eternal, but as I crawl out of bed, bleary eyed, we discuss our plans, because even without a promise of forever, engagement rings cost two months’ salary.

It is 2019 and we are daytime and nighttime, pixelated video feeds and poor connections, quiet nights full of chatter and sleepy mornings of wakeful care. You are warm blooded, promises belong to your kind, they flow through your arteries. All I have is black ink veins and a hopeful heart, but you make the trade anyway.

Present day, when I finally admit to myself that since our Day 1 I have been dreaming of Day 3,650, I ask you if I am good enough and I bask in the glow of your unhesitant yes as we draw up blueprints of relationship infrastructure built on lapis lazuli.

[eyayah-oya]

Return to Me

Clone Ship Week | Day 6 | Post-Battle - @cloneshipweek

Cody/Rex

Rating: G

Warnings: mentions of Point Rain, canon typical violence, disgustingly cute happy ending

Ao3 link

           Geonosis was just as awful as every vod had ever described. It was hot and dusty, of course, but Cody didn’t really care about any of that.  It was the number of brothers he’d lost on the way to Point Rain, the hundreds more killed by the bugs and their weaponry, on top of all the droids that seemed to come in never-ending waves.

           Cody and the rest of the 212th were going to join General Mundi and the 21st Nova Marine Corps on the other side of the planet while Rex and his men worked with Gree and the 41st under General Unduli.  They would be taking on the enormous droid factory the next day, and Cody would not be able to help any of them.  He would have his own mission to run.

           There were hundreds of vod’e all over the fortified base they’d managed to find and set up camp in.  Brothers from all four battalions mingled and shared increasingly exaggerated stories.  Cody had spotted Corporals Fives and Echo talking to some boys from the 21st, and he’d seen the medics fussing over the injured vod’e and generals.  But there was no sign of Cody’s cyare.

           “Lieutenant!” Cody called to 2nd Lieutenant Jesse of the 501st.

           Jesse snapped off a sharp salute.  “Sir!”

           “At ease, Lt.  Have you seen Rex around recently?” Cody asked.

           Thinking for a moment, Jesse slowly nodded.  “I think I saw him over by the remaining gunships, sir. He was talking to General Skywalker about half an hour ago.”

           Cody nodded and clapped the trooper on his shoulder. “Thanks.  Make sure you take some time to rest, Lt.  We’re in for a rough campaign.”

           “Of course, sir.  You do the same and see if you can get Rex to sleep, too.”

           As Cody walked away, he chuckled to himself.  Little brothers were getting uppity.  At the start of the war, there was no way any trooper, let alone one from a different battalion, would have talked to him so casually.  It was a testament to how well the men of the 501st were relaxing around their Jedi and learning how to be something besides soldiers.  It was nice.

           Cody prayed to whatever gods watched over clones bred for war that Rex hadn’t gone back up to the Resolute already.  He needed to see Rex and make sure his cyare was alright. Too many vod’e were walking wounded, and even more were severely injured or dead.  As much as he knew it was a real possibility, Cody did not want to ever consider a reality where Rex marched on ahead of him.

           “Hey, Commander!” Commander Tano chirped from out of nowhere.  She smiled up at him with bright eyes that hadn’t been weighed down by war yet.  She still had hope and Cody prayed that she would never lose that.  Yet another thing he prayed for to unknown gods.

           “Hello, Commander.”  Cody dodged a pair of vod’e carrying a crate full of supplies and glanced down at Commander Tano.  “Can I help you with something?”

           “Jesse said you’re looking for Rex?  I know where he is!  But we have to hurry before my Master pulls him away again.”

           If Commander Tano was willing to help him find Rex, Cody was definitely not going to say no.  Especially after the massacre they’d just faced.  “Thank you, Commander,” he said, warm affection warming his chest briefly. “I appreciate it.”

           Commander Tano waved away his thanks.  “It’s no problem.  I get it.  Master Skywalker practically ran to Master Kenobi’s side as soon as we got here, and I know Jesse went to go find a batchmate of his from the 41st. Sometimes, you just need to make sure everyone’s alive.”

           “That is very wise, Commander,” Cody said.  He really shouldn’t be surprised, but in his mind, the Commander was just so young.  She shouldn’t have insights into how war worked, and why they needed time to recuperate after a bad battle, if only to reassure themselves that their loved ones made it out alive or to mourn the ones that hadn’t.

           There were far too many mourning vod’e.

           “I have a great teacher,” Commander Tano said with a warm smile.  “Rex said you taught him a lot of what he knows and he’s been passing some of that down to me.  It’s helped me in some tough situations, so I should be thanking you, Commander.”

           “No thanks necessary, Commander,” Cody managed to say without choking or giving away his emotions.  Not that it probably mattered since Jedi were attuned to the people around them.  Only General Kenobi had ever thanked him for anything, and Cody was convinced that his General would thank Ventress after she stabbed him with her saber.  Karking di’kutla jetti.

           “Anyway, Rex is over in that tent, hopefully taking a nap. Coric was threatening him earlier with sedation, so he might have followed through on that threat.”

           And with that, Commander Tano skipped away, most likely to terrorize some poor shiny who wouldn’t know how to deal with an overly friendly shiny Jedi Commander. Cody privately wished he had a holo of their flailing.  It would provide some good laughs in the future.

           Cody strode over to the tent Commander Tano had pointed out, and knocked on the frame.

           “Come in,” Rex called and something inside of Cody’s chest loosened.

           He undid the fastenings and stepped inside, taking his bucket off immediately.  Rex was sitting on the cot, a datapad in his hands, likely going over the initial casualty reports for the battle.  Most importantly, he was very much alive.

           “Rex,” Cody gasped out with a strangled breath.

           Rex jerked at his voice and then a second later, Cody had his arms wrapped around his cyare, breathing him in as he held on as tight as he could.

           “Cody!  You’re okay!” Rex said.  He pulled back to give Cody a sharp look.  “You are okay, right?”

           “Yes, I am.  I didn’t end up getting injured.  That was purely my General,” Cody said, trying for some dry humor but it fell flat in the face of their combined relief.  “What about you?  I heard you got thrown off a wall?”

           “Karking Fives and Echo,” Rex growled.  “General Skywalker and Ahsoka caught me, so I wasn’t hurt.  Nothing beyond a few bumps and bruises.”

           Cody ran his eyes over Rex’s body, as though that would tell him if Rex was hiding any injuries with the armor in the way.  Once he verified that there wasn’t any gaping hole or crack in Rex’s armor, Cody dropped his helmet to the ground and pulled Rex into a bruising kiss.  His cyare responded eagerly, clinging desperately to the hard, sharp planes of Cody’s armor.  There was no finesse, no sweetness in the kiss.  Just pure, heady relief and a desperation to prove that they really survived.

           Rex gripped Cody’s hair tightly with one hand, the other wrapping around his waist to pull him as close as their armor would allow. He sucked on Cody’s bottom lip and gently nibbled before letting go and pressing his head against Cody’s in a soft keldabe.

           “I was so worried when we heard that most of your gunships went down, including General Kenobi’s.  You’re usually flying with him.”

           “We decided to split our forces.  It was a really close call a few times, but we made it.  We both made it,” Cody answered.  He was shaking from relief at having Rex in his arms, alive and unharmed.  Nothing would ever be able to beat that heady feeling of overwhelming gratitude to whatever gods were listening.  They’d listened to at least one of his prayers today.

           “Stay alive tomorrow,” Cody demanded after a moment of just breathing each other in.  “That factory is going to be really dangerous.”

           “I know.  Gree is a solid vod, though.  He’ll have my back and I’ll have his.  Plus, we have the Jedi to help keep us safe.”

           Cody very carefully didn’t think about the many times General Skywalker had gotten men killed by doing something reckless or stupid. The R2 droid was not important enough to sacrifice his padawan, Rex, and three other men to General Grievous.  Out of four, only Rex and Denal had made it back, and Commander Tano had nearly been killed by Grievous when she kept Grievous from killing Rex, all for a droid.  Cody was skeptical, but he also had faith in Commander Tano and General Unduli and her padawan.  They’d protect the men while Skywalker handled whatever crazy idea he had.

           “We will be safe,” Rex said, giving Cody a shake. “While you’re off with the Marines, you should talk to Bacara.  They’re out of contact with most of the GAR.  Only Neyo and Jet can get through the blockades to deliver supplies and intelligence to Nova.”

           A frown carved the worry lines on his face deeper as Cody absorbed that information.  “I’ll talk to him.  See what we can do,” Cody swore.

           Rex nodded.  “Good.  He’ll keep you alive.  Bacara already told me he’s planning on sharing all of my embarrassing ARC training stories to you while you’re on campaign together.”

           Cody grinned.  “I’ve been trying to pull those out of Neyo, Keeli, Thorn, and Thire for ages now.  And Bacara’s the one to spill the beans?”

           Rex grumbled and buried his face against the crook of Cody’s neck.  “He said I don’t have enough blackmail material on him to keep him from blabbing. He also said I don’t scare him because, and I quote, “I’m as terrifying as a sleepy baby nexu cub buried in a pile of nip”.”

           “That—is strangely accurate,” Cody choked out, laughing at Rex’s offended growl.  “You’re a little prickly, but everyone knows you’re just a softy.  I mean, you’ve been teaching Commander Tano what I taught you?”

           His cyare shrugged.  “She’s in the middle of a war, and she doesn’t have the training we do. I don’t want to see her die when I could have prevented it.  Nor do I want to see my vod’e die because she makes a bad decision.  I’m giving her all the tools she’ll need to be successful and survive this war.”

           “You’ve adopted her.”  Cody couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it before.  Rex had always loved with all his heart, as evidenced by the numerous vod’e who loved him unconditionally.  Of course, Commander Tano would have made the list.  “If she’s yours, then she’s mine, too,” Cody said. “We’re in this together.”

           Rex finally peeked his head back out from where he’d hidden it against the small sliver of skin on Cody’s neck.  “Really?”

           Cody didn’t hesitate.  He nodded and bumped their foreheads together.  “I promise.”

           For the first time since their first kiss, Cody had the amazing opportunity to see Rex completely and totally flustered.  He blushed bright red, sputtering and coughing as he tried to find something to say.

           It took a few minutes for Rex to completely compose himself and then it was Cody’s turn to be flustered.  “Are you asking me to be your riduur?”

           “What?” Cody spluttered.

           For a second, Rex faltered.  But then he squared his jaw and firmed his spine as if he was facing the worst of odds in a battle.  “We are one when together.  We already do that, and have done that since we were cadets.  We are one when apart.  At this point, I don’t think there’s anything that could separate us, even when we’re fighting on opposite ends of the galaxy.  We share all.  We tell each other everything.  You said it yourself.  What’s mine is yours, too.  We will raise warriors.  We are raising Ahsoka together, since we share all.  Not to mention all of our men that we’ve both trained since this war started. If that doesn’t count, I don’t know what would.

           “So, are you asking me to be your riduur?”

           As Rex laid out each point, Cody found himself agreeing. He and Rex were already married, they just hadn’t said the vows to each other yet.  And honestly, there wasn’t a better time than now.  Cody would rather be married to the love of his life for a few hours, then never have married him and watched him die in battle.

           “Yes, Rex of Torrent.  I am asking you to be my riduur,” Cody said, determination in every cell of his body.

           Rex lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Cody, bringing their foreheads together.  “Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar’tome, mhi me’dinui an, mhi ba’juri verde,” Rex swore fervently, his whole heart bared for Cody to see.

           “Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar’tome, mhi me’dinui an, mhi ba’juri verde,” Cody echoed the vow, offering Rex his heart with every breath.

           They shared the same space for a moment, pressing into the keldabe more firmly before their lips brushed together.  Like a firework had been set off in his bones, Cody tugged Rex into a passionate, over-whelming kiss that stole their breath away.  He could feel his heart swelling with the amount of love he felt for Rex, bursting out from behind the dam he kept on his emotions most days.  It rolled over him until the only thing he could think of was that Rex was alive, in his arms, and that they were now married.  What more could Cody care for in that moment?

           Eventually, air became a necessity, and they broke away from each other to breathe.  Rex gave a soft chuckle.  “You do realize that means you’re going to have to adopt Ahsoka, too, right?”

           “YES!  I get two dads AND Cody has to call me by my name now!”

           “Shh, they can hear you, Soka.”

           “Oops!  Everyone scatter!”

           Cody laughed.  His heart couldn’t contain the joy he felt, and he would carry that joy throughout the war as a hopeful flame for when they could all have peace again. But in that moment, he had all night with his riduur, and Cody planned on making the most of it.

[tinyboxxtink]

“The Man Of Your Dreams”

Y’all. Y’ALL. 

I was gonna make this a series but then I was like “Aw nah I can wrap it up neatly in one go”.

And that “one go” took 3 and 1/2 hours and 10 pages!!!!!!!! (on GoogleDocs anyway...) 

I went with my “keep dreaming about a man and then you go off to find him” idea.

The dating app one might be for a longer series, idk yet.

But this, this is my baby.

Like I said, I had this dream. Specifically the first and last scene. And ya’ll while I wrote the crescendo, I played Tyler Blackburn’s “Can’t Love Me.” Specifically starting at 2:11. I highly recommend playing it as you read from:

“Until out of nowhere--“Y/N???””

But that’s just me. I replayed that scene with the music about a thousand times in my head, I won’t lie to you.

I hope you love this as much as I do!!

Tag List

@wanniiieeee

@dumauier

@word-scribbless

@objection-argumentative

@chasingeverybreakingwave

------

“Oh no it’s happening again.”

“What?! No not now,”

“Yeah I feel it, the pulling,”

“Dammit! No no no…” He grabbed you on both of your sides and pulled you into his chest as tightly as he could, but you knew it wouldn’t help; You were fading, and the last words you hear were:

“I will find you!!” 

----------------

Suddenly, you woke up in your bed in a cold sweat. 

“Dammit...not again,” You shook your head. “No, no no no NO!!!!” You let yourself have a moment of breakdown, before immediately grabbing the pencil and giant pad of paper from under your bed. You had to get it down before it faded, again. The face, HIS face. You furiously filled in the lines on his face you had missed before, and you finally got the dimples on his mouth right. However, it was the eyes that drove you most insane.

Half filled in while the rest of his face was taking shape, his eyes were the one thing you could never quite get. Not that you hadn’t seen them enough, you had been having dreams about this man for over a month straight now. Every night, the same man. But it didn’t feel like dreaming, not in the slightest. It felt very much like being awake in this world, everything was so real.

He was so real.

And so, after a week of these “episodes”, you decided to yourself that this couldn’t be a coincidence, that it was NOT a mix of your subconscious making up scenarios in your head, it was real. This man existed somewhere, and you were going to find him. 

However the question of “How” was still very annoyingly present. Sure you and this man had talked about everything, seriously EVERYTHING. Likes, dislikes, career, life stories--- well, at least you were pretty sure you had.

 Some conversations in your dream world were completely crystal clear in your mind-- 

When he was six and all he wanted was a red bike, and come Christmas morning it wasn’t there. He had stormed around his mom’s apartment having a total temper tantrum until his abuelita asked him to check if she had left her keys out in the hall from last minute shopping. He opened the door to reveal a brand new, shiny red 10 speed bike propped against their doorway.

“We lived on the 10th floor, with no elevator. My mom and abuelita carried that thing up 10 flights of stairs just so I’d have a happy Christmas morning,” He had told you with tears in his eyes.

And then others, containing any real information about where to find him, were a blur. Specific details like his name, his job, even where he currently lived-- they sounded like garbled nonsense when you tried to recall them.

The Universe is a sadistic bastard.

But that conversation about the bike-- it was so specific and so detailed that there was no way your mind could have made it up. No way. But all you knew was that at some point in his childhood he lived with his mom and abuela in a 10th story apartment somewhere in New York City. That’s it. 

And one more thing that you couldn’t shake-- his touch. 

There had been a dream where he had asked to kiss you, to which you happily agreed. He had pulled you close into his arms, his hands ran through your hair as he pressed his lips against yours. And every dream since then, you two were always either holding hands or holding each other, or touching in any capacity-- as if you were both trying to memorize what it felt like.

Of course this still being “a dream”, a lot of the times your “dates” with this man were just playing out themselves, and you were blissfully unaware that they were even dreams. So you’d never think of asking “real” questions like where to meet or something. Only those few moments before you would wake would you realize “Oh that’s right, this isn’t real.” And by then it was too late.

But today was the day. You were sure of it. You had finally finished your drawing of your “dream man”, apart from the filled in eyes. Only an eyeline shaped hole rested in the middle of his perfect face. 

“Okay, that is just horrifying” You heard your roommate’s voice behind you.

“What? It’s perfect, Shi!” You defended your drawing. 

Sure you had hesitated telling your best friend of 10 years about your “situation”, but once you decided that you were going to find him, you knew you’d need her help. And so, after a very long conversation over a LOT of drinks, you had convinced her to help you. Well, reluctantly help you. 

“Well it’ll be no problem trying to find a guy with NO EYES,” She giggled.

“Shut up, I just...I can’t get them right,” 

“Can’t get them right? Girl have you or have you not told me that you have studied that man’s face EVERY night for the past 6 weeks?” 

“Yeah but….they’re so...perfect,” You sighed-- the gaping eye hole was mocking you. It was like the Universe saying “Good luck finding him without THESE!!!!” 

But you knew, you just knew in your heart of hearts that if you saw his eyes in real life, you’d know. You’d know instantly. You had this-- look, between you. The way he looked at you, the love and passion in his beautiful green eyes.

You couldn’t draw that on paper.

“Well just how do you expect us to make a “missed connection” flier with a demon looking guy like that?” 

“Look Shiloh, it’s a start ok?” 

“It’s not! You need those eyes, eyes are the most distinguishing trait on a person’s face!” She shook the paper at you.

“I know that!!!” you scoffed.

“Alright well...just, try again tonight yeah?” She put a hand on your shoulder.

“Yeah alright,”

----

The next night you did all the nightly rituals you had read and researched up on how to “lucid dream”. Eating certain foods, meditating before bed, repeating mantras as you fell asleep-- sometimes they helped you take control of the dreams, sometimes not.

But this has never happened.

-----------

You were suddenly “awake”, in a park. Wait, this wasn’t just some generic “Dream” park. You knew this park. You immediately started scanning the sights around you-- kids playing and running around, people talking on a fountain-- The fountain. You knew that fountain. Your eyes darted quicker around the scenic picture for a statute, and there it was.

This was Central Park. And not just Central Park, a very specific part of Central Park that you passed most days on your way to work. Could this just be the “coincidence” normal dream stuff seeping in? Just images of your day being played out in your REM cycle? I mean he wasn’t even--

“Dream girl,” His voice came from behind you. 

You spun to face the fountain and saw him in an off white cream colored suit, with a pink tie. His hair was in a coif, and for the first time maybe ever, you noticed him carrying a briefcase. 

“Hey you,” You smiled, pulling him into a long, deep kiss. 

“So, Central Park today huh? You know you could’ve told me that beforehand I wouldn’t have paid an Uber to drive --- blocks.” You noticed the blurb in his number. Wait, wait this wasn’t happening.

“Wait, what?” You were suddenly “awake” .

“My office? It’s just about ---- blocks that way,” He pointed forward-- South. 

His office was south from Central Park, only a few blocks away. Within walking distance.

“What else?” You grabbed him.

“What else? Baby are you ok…?” He backed up one step in concern.

“Dammit, snap out of it abogado!!!” You snapped at him, leaving you both in shock-- but for two different reasons. 

He was suddenly “awake” in this world too, but you had just called him a name in spanish that you did not know the meaning of.

“Since when do you know spanish?” He asked.

“It’s spanish? QUICK tell me what it means!!!” You shook him.

“Abogado means--” 

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And he was gone. It was gone. You had been pulled suddenly from your dream world, something that had never happened before. It wasn’t even morning yet, the sun was barely peeking out from the skyline. You had never gotten that close to getting details from him, NEVER.

Maybe the Universe was catching on. 

You grabbed your phone from the charger beside you and furiously typed “Abogado” into google translate. And there it was, in black and white:

Lawyer.

This guy was a lawyer, who worked a few blocks south of Central Park. If he was real. You sighed to yourself as you put your phone down and went back to sleep.

-----------------------------

And you were in the park again. 

“Hey, there you are! Where’d you go?” the “abogado” asked you with his dreamy smile. Wait, was he “asleep” again? And why did you pick up here? He knew you were gone? WAS THIS PLACE REAL?

“ABOGADO,” You shouted at him like a crazy person.

“...You don’t know spanish, why do you know-- Oh my god,” The man was suddenly cognizant of everything.

“Baby! Aw, baby girl I’ve missed you..” He pulled you into a kiss. You let him for a second, then pulled away quickly.

“Look, I don’t know what’s happening but this--” You gestured around the park. “This is near where I live. In reality,” 

His eyes widened as he recognized where you were. “This is a few blocks from my office-- in reality,” 

“Really? Really.” You were becoming frantic.

“I mean, if this is at all real, and you’re real--” He began looking around the park.

“I’M real, are YOU real?” You couldn’t believe he was questioning YOUR existence.

“I think the fact that we’re both questioning each other’s existence, might be either brain death or some kind of reality where we both do indeed exist,” He smirked.

“God you’re smart, why did I not know this before?”

“...I don’t know, we don’t really get into details usually, do we?” 

“No but now-- oh my god, NOW,” You grabbed him again excitedly.

“Now what? Oh, I love that guy’s suit…” He peered over your shoulder.

“Rafael will you FOCUS?” You both stopped and stared at each other as soon as the name left your lips.

“...I-I’m sorry, what?” He was turning pale

“Rafael...w-why did I just call you Rafael?”

“....Rafael’s my name,” He stared at you in disbelief. He actually looked shocked that you knew his name. 

“Y/N,” He finally spoke.

“Y/N is my name!!!!” You squealed. “This is happening, this is happening Rafael!!!!” You grabbed him in a hug but he still stood there in a daze.

“Oh god are you fading?” 

“N-No, I just...you have a name,” 

“...I..yeah?” You scrunch your nose. “Did...do...do you not think I’m real?” 

“No!” He shook his head. “I mean I do think you’re real, I just...this...this hasn’t happened before,” He stroked your cheek with his thumb, staring at it while he did it. Like he was memorizing the feeling of his skin on yours.

“I know, this is the most detailed “episode” we’ve ever had,” You pressed his hand harder against your cheek, memorizing the feeling of his hands over yours. 

“Tomorrow,” He stopped stroking your face and looked at you very seriously. 

“What?” 

“I-I feel it, I’m waking up-- damn early court time,” He grumbled. “But tomorrow-- er, today,” He grabbed both of your hands and squeezed them as hard as he could.

“If we are both real, we’ll meet here at this exact spot at 3:30 today, yeah?” You could see his body slowly disintegrating in front of you like Peter Parker at the end of Infinity War.

All you could do was nod as you felt yourself waking up, but you gave everything you had to grab him in one last kiss….

-------------

BEEP BEEP BEEEP!!!!!!

Your alarm was yelling at you, but you were already wide awake. Today was the day. Today at 3:30, in Central Park, you were going to meet your dream man.

If he was real. 

-------

The minutes passed by like hours, he would pick the day you have off so you could just sit there and stare at your phone obsessively all day. Of course after you had taken at least 2 hours to make sure you looked absolutely perfect for your man. 

You wanted to look like his dream girl. 

Finally, it was 3:20. Shiloh had come home early to walk with you to the park, there was no way she was missing this. You wanted enough time to make sure you’d be there exactly at 3:30, not a minute after. You held hands with Shi as you entered the park’s gates and just a few yards away was the fountain area you had been in last night. 

“So...this is it,” Shiloh dropped your hands.

“I know....What time is it?” You shuddered with excitement.

“3:29-- you know maybe he’s not a stickler for time like you and needs to be obsessively early everywhere babe,” 

“He’s a lawyer, they’re usually pretty punctual,” You raised an eyebrow. “Plus, if he’s as excited as I am he will be here on time,” You were bouncing on your heels like a little girl.

“Well, it’s 3:30 now…” You both began to look around the area. You had brought the drawing so Shiloh had an idea of who she was looking for, although she still deemed it impossible without his eyes.

“Y’know he said he had court today, maybe it’s further away from here,” You spoke out loud, still scanning every inch of the park. You didn’t know who you were trying to convince more, Shiloh or yourself.

Every second that passed by, your heart broke into teenier tinier pieces. You felt sick to your stomach, you were shaking-- you needed to sit. 

Shiloh came and joined you on the side of the fountain and held you in her arms as the park suddenly began filling very quickly. There was some sort of event happening soon, and people were getting “good seats”.

“Wh-What? No, no you guys can’t be here!” You frantically began circling people. “How is he supposed to find me if you’re all surrounding this damn fountain? HOW?!”

“Y/N….Honey, chill…” Shiloh tried to pull you away, but you jumped onto the fountain to get away from her as the area continued to fill with people, even police began to survey the area-- they stared at you, whispering things into their walkies. They were going to ask you to get down. They were going to ask you to leave. They were going to make you lose your chance forever--- and you couldn’t have that.

“RAFAEL!!!!!!” You started screaming into the crowd. Several members of the crowd began turning and staring at you as you repeated the name over and over again, walking around on top of the fountain as you did. 

“Are you nuts you’re going to get us arrested!!”  Shiloh hissed, pulling on your arm.

“I don’t care--- RAFAEL!!!!!” You knocked her hand away and started screaming again.

“Ma’am, you’re going to need to come with us,” A Park Ranger started for your hand but you evaded it as you continued circling and screaming like an insane person.

“NO!!! I CAN’T!!!!! HE’LL BE HERE!!!! RAFAEL!!!!!!”

-------

“I mean, are you SURE it was this end of the park, Rafa?” Olivia Benson circled the same spot her and Rafael had been walking around for several minutes now. 

“Yeah, I’m sure! There was a statue--”

“There are a LOT of statues in here, Rafa. Did you see anything else in this ‘dream’?” 

“Look Liv, I appreciate you coming with me even though you don’t believe in this at all, but the snarkiness is not helping,” He folded his arms with a scowl.

“I’m sorry, I’ll--” Olivia was cut off mid-sentence by her walkie going off. “Benson.”

“Yeah hi, this is the CP patrol-- We heard you were around here, and I think we’ve got a-- what do you call it, special victim? This girl’s running around crazy yelling for some dude, I think she might be a few circuits short of a circuit board,” 

“Where are you?”

“The South Entrance by Lootney Fountain,” As those words rang out through her walkie, Rafael’s eyes widened. 

“The fountain…” He muttered, beginning to sprint across the park. “I forgot about the fountain!!!!!!”

-------

The CP Patrol had gotten you off the fountain and were trying to calm you down, but you wouldn’t stop yelling Rafael’s name. Until out of nowhere--

“Y/N???”

You’d know that voice anywhere. You jumped out of the cop’s reach and back onto the fountain where you could see over the crowd. Your eyes frantically searched when you saw a man running towards the fountain; from across the park, and then you saw his face.

It was Rafael.

The second you locked eyes, you both just stopped moving entirely. You were pretty sure you had stopped breathing. You could see everything in those big beautiful green eyes you had the hardest time putting down on paper. You saw the same thoughts running through his head as yours:

He was real. You were real.

“Y/N!!!!!!” He finally yelled, making the crowd turn to face him. He disappeared into the sea of people as you jumped down and began tearing through them like mad. 

“RAFAEL!!!!” You screamed, knocking people over left and right. He was sprinting across the lawn, more desperate to get to you than anything in his entire life.

“Y/N!!!!!!” You heard his voice again, and this time it was so much closer. So crisp and clear, just like it was in your dreams-- But this was real. It was really happening. You gave one last push through a group of stragglers to come upon a man huffing and puffing in a cream colored suit, with a pink tie. But he seemed to lose all signs of fatigue as you hurled yourself into his arms-- his real, open arms. He spun you around and kissed you deeper and harder than he ever had in any of your encounters. 

And it was real.

You felt it even more than the most detailed of dreams, his taste, the feel of his touch, his smell. You stood there locked in a kiss for several seconds, while Olivia waved off the coppers and Shiloh had broken through the crowd to see your very real dream man.

Finally, after convincing yourself to pull away from him, you looked into his eyes. His real, green eyes. You stroked his cheek while he kept the tightest grip around your waist, as if you were going to float away if he let up one second. 

“You’re real,” You blinked back tears.

“So are you,” He held back his own tears, stroking yours away from your cheeks. 

“I love you, Rafael,” You whispered, still scared to death you’d wake up at any moment.

“I love you, YN-- my dream girl,” He smiled back, pulling you into another long kiss.

That night you had normal dreams, which you didn’t mind in the slightest; because you slept in the arms of the man of your dreams.