#anyway back i go into the abyss bye guys

[pempempemto]

so that pre 2021 noncanon wally darling again

yeah sorry i took that wally he’s my altered smug cat son now yeah i throw this wally against the wall sometimes he makes a thunk sound its fun

[fionajames]

Hi again! How’s it going? I feel like no one asks that. It’s always “where’s the writer” and never “how’s the writer”. Anyway requesting timeeeee :

May i please have a prompt number 12 (is it 12 I may have forgotten): “No no- it’s alright, come here” but instead of a romance thing, I feel like it would happen after a rough mission and someone needs a hug or something. But this is your story, and I can’t settle on a character so it’s up to you! Characters, fluff/angst/gore/horror/whatever genre (is it genre?) and characters you’d like.

Sincerely, Sha 🫡

PS: finally requesting before 11:00pm! (Or 23:00??)

nightmares on kamino - my ocs

Hello There! Sorry again guys for the delay in writing but guess what, to make up for it, I'm publishing 4 pieces of writing today!!!!! (pls dont hold me to that)

Sha here is your lovely response and I give you: Iniko being a sad boi. We love Iniko here, and if you dont, well, bye bye.

Here is the 1st piece of writing today!

Enjoy!

Iniko sank into the sheets of his messily-made bed in his room on Kamino, yawning as he curled up in the sheets, trying to ignore the tears streaming down his face - leaking from his golden honey eyes. The mission he’d just come home from had been exhausting and they’d lost way too many Clone Troopers along the way. 

Rook had spent the whole trip back attempting to comfort the young Padawan but to no avail as the Pantoran sunk into a deep, dark abyss of shame and self-hatred. None of the Clones had been able to help him. 

The door to him and his Master’s room opened with a familiar whoosh sound and he curled up into a ball even tighter, squeezing his eyes shut as he moved his dark curls to cover his face - stained with tears. Someone entered the room and Iniko could sense that it was his Master - the Togrutan Jedi Shaak Ti. She softly called his name from the doorway as the door closed, and he heard her move closer to him. “Iniko, are you alright?” Iniko didn’t respond as his body trembled with sobs, sombreness taking over his body along with the tears, drowning him in sadness. “Iniko?”

He shook his head vigorously, gripping the edges of his robes with his hands so hard it was turning his knuckles white. “Go away!” Iniko shouted and he heard a gentle sigh come from the Jedi Master. 

“Iniko,” Shaak cooed softly, using the voice she only used on him and the cadets - he expected she would probably use it on the Younglings as well but since he’d been apprenticed during the Clone Wars, he had no idea. 

“I said go away!” The dark-haired boy shrieked, sitting upright abruptly. The Jedi flinched at the lash of anger she received through their bond, but knew she shouldn’t reprimanded him on something when he’d had such a horrific mission.

Shaak sighed, giving him a soft, sympathetic smile as she left the room solemnly, the door closing behind her. Iniko cried out in pain as soon as he was alone, pushing himself off of his bed and onto the floor. Tears coated his robes and formed puddles on the floor as he curled in on himself, hugging his body as he shuffled over to the window. 

Their room had a brilliant view of the sea, currently infuriated by the storm that was raging, raindrops sliding down the window at an alarming pace. At that moment, the weather was reflecting Iniko’s emotions - enraged and sombre. 

The door opened again and Iniko froze, tears rolling down his cheeks as his eyes widened. His body shook with momentary fear as the door closed again. “Edge?” A voice called softly and the Padawan tightened his grip on himself, fingernails digging into the exposed skin of his arms. 

Captain Rook shuffled to the young boy, crouching down to the floor to sit beside the distressed child. Rook reached up to run a hand through Iniko’s messy curls, soothing them down to be neater and massaging his scalp. Iniko sobbed softly, turning to curl up against the Clone’s frame, trembling as he did. “I’m sorry,” he choked out, tears like crystals falling onto the Clone’s white armour. Rook raised an eyebrow instinctively as he draped an arm over the boy’s shoulders. 

“For what?”

“I’m so sorry,” Iniko repeated. “For letting you down, for letting so many of your brothers die. I’m so sorry, Rook.”

The Captain frowned as a tear fell from his own eye, squeezing them shut as his body shook at the thought of his little brother blaming himself for something he couldn’t control. “No no- it’s alright, come here,” he managed to stutter out, before preparing himself to comfort Iniko properly. “In no way, is it your fault. They went in there knowing they might die and died heroically.”

Iniko didn’t have anything to say as he shuffled closer and buried his face in Rook’s neck. “Thank you, Rook.”

“Anytime, Edge.”

Hope you enjoyed! Sorry for the delay!

Request guys, srsly!!!!!!!!!!!

[skorchinq]

Bows Only: Third Time’s the Charm

[IDs in alt text]

Not only did we have a free Faruzan and a Ganyu banner in 3.6, but 3.7 brought the Ibis Piercer bow in the event and the third Yoimiya banner since this account began. Which of these banners will prove fruitful? Will we get Ganyu? Will Yoimiya finally come home after dodging us twice? Let’s find out...

First thing’s first, finally did the ascension quest! It brought us up to world level 7 and AR 52-- but nearly 53.

and of course, it didn’t take much longer to actually reach 53...

After this, I did something I haven’t done on this account in a long time... I actually played the Archon quest.

Excuse me sir... sir?

Got this crazy screenshot with two Paimons. Woah

Omgoose Hi Kujou Saraaaa hi hiiiii :3

I once again forgot my name was DavidBowie and choked

But anyways look at this incredible Ganyu piece I got!!

Our first max ascension character has got to be Amber, of course. And we’ve finally done it!

We even made some progress in the Abyss!

And after ages, I finally got the Inazuman craftable bow. It’ll be good for Yoimiya... one day...

We got the Liyue statues all the way up to Level 9! Which means we can finally complete chapter 8 of the adventurer’s handbook!

We’re pretty close to finishing chapter 9, too...

Oh I forgot about this until I found the screenshot making this post... this had me cackling. Someone joined my world, asked one question, and left...

idk guys, they may claim to be a simple wanderer who idolizes Kaeya_bulge26 on tiktok, but I kinda get the feeling that... do you think they might actually be Kaeya_bulge26 on tiktok??? I dunno...

Anyway I finished chapter 9

And got Tartag to max ascension!

And Kujou Sara to max friendship!

I then got a 5* on the standard banner! Can you guess who it was?

I hate everything

Back to the Archon Quest! Hi Teppei!!!

Bye Teppei I left to do the Brewing Developments Event

Ok we’re back! Hi Gorou!

Also this guy...

Don’t lie to me Nathan. I know what you are

Yes that’s right. Our time to fight side by side with Gorou has finally come. Not like he’s been here since the very beginning or anything

Venti’s max ascended!!

And I got a northlander billet fighting Boreas! since we already have all 3 bows that use it, we’ll use this to refine Amber’s weapon.

Teppei you goof

Gorou is max friendship as well!

It was then... that we finally got Ganyu!!

and a couple Fischl cons to boot!

And oh Archons we are at World Level 8.

Well, it should be no issue now that we have Ganyu. She’s strong, graceful, and most of all...

She’s great for collecting pigeon meat :)

Anyway. I got another gold on the standard banner, but unfortunately it ended up being nothing more than weapon fodder...

After that, we did the Interdarshan Championship event and got our free Faruzan!

I scrambled to get that event done in a single day... and in 3.7, the King of Invocations event was the same. tbh I was pretty burnt out w/ genshin for a while, I probably would have skipped the 3.7 event entirely if it weren’t for the fact that it gave a bow. I didn’t even bother to screenshot it cause it was late and I forgor. I did get it tho. It’ll be a nice Tighnari weapon when we get him.

And of course, given my pity was reset when I got Ganyu and I wasn’t playing much, it should come as no surprise that... yeah, I didn’t get Yoimiya on her banner. I did get her somewhere else, though!

You can’t escape me in TCG, at least.

Hey, we’ll get her next time. Fourth time’s the charm, right?

Now, 4.0′s coming up, and we’ve got both Yelan and Lyney to go for... I’m going to pull for Yelan first, but should we manage to get her I’ll pull for Lyney after! Since starting this account a year ago, we’ve lost every single 50/50 to Jean... but this patter will finally change on Fontaine. I believe it! I’m manifesting it!!! We WILL get Yelan!!! ...or at least lose the 50/50 to Tighnari instead!

Look, my standards are really low at this point. I just want bow characters man

Also fun fact! I’ve been trying to post this update for literal weeks, but I was experiencing some uhhh. technical difficulties

See, the post editor on web doesn’t let me add alt text. Everywhere on the internet says that there should be an icon with three dots you can click to add the alt text but there. is not. It doesn’t matter if I hover over or click the image, it doesn’t change, there is no icon to click on the image anywhere. But that was fine because it still worked just fine on mobile! So what I’d do for previous posts in this series is make the first draft of the post on web (because that’s where all the screenshots are), save, and then go back and edit the draft on mobile, adding alt text IDs then.

And here’s where the problem arises: recently, for no apparent reason, I can no longer edit or post drafts on Tumblr mobile. I can view my drafts. I can open them. I can change things. But no matter if I hit save changes or post now or anything else, Tumblr then experiences an error, it doesn’t post, and none of my changes are saved. It just goes back in my drafts the way it was before I edited it.

So, if I can’t edit drafts on mobile, I’ll have to do it on web. I quickly tested to make sure it worked, and it did! But I still. can’t add alt text in the tumblr post editor.

Until I had the idea to add alt text not through the post editor but through the Inspect element! Once again, I tested it out and it seemed to work. Adding alt text through the inspect element on web and then saving caused that alt text to show up when viewing the draft on another device! So, I finally was able to finish the post! Literally the day Fontaine drops!

I’m thinking of liveblogging my Yelan pulls. Which will be in like half an hour lol. So! Stay tuned for that!

[thychesters]

ok that last reblog BUT it’s treasure planet with dick grayson. bruce is john silver with a fake eye who butts heads with dick but the boy endears himself to him and nope, he has to look after him. his kid now. slade is that spider guy who dick sends off into the abyss of space because RIP Dick [not grayson]. i would say alfred is mr. stone but mr. stone also ends up in the abyss of space.

actually torn now because maybe bruce is dilbert and the captain is talia. dick says hmm, he doesn’t really like her and bruce just sighs because he didn’t ask. also why. also she’s not that bad. and dick says whatever, i’m gonna do peel potatoes in the galley maybe i’ll just die and you won’t care. talia just hums and goes back to her maps because that’s nice.

maybe silver is ... alfred? CLARK? i was thinking donna could be the captain but i also like talia, and dick only got to go on this voyage because it was this or juvie and he said BYE i’m going to SPACE and bruce said nuh-uh kid, you’re not going anywhere without me. oh my god who’s benny? roy? victor? giving dick grief and he’s just like this is great. ok. let’s go commit space murder and end slade.

anyway back to work, oops

[beaglesfoundindumpsters]

and then they talked about the dsmp for forty minutes

anyways

i thought of this concept that i am not going to share with the world

just... imagine

we know that ghostbur and wilbur are seperate entities and schlatt kind of has a ghost, but glatt never shows up anywhere. this means that wilbur might have let ghostbur out, on purpose, and schlatt doesn’t want any part of himself to be alive again so he stays in the afterlife.

for this afterlife I am just imagining this eternal white plane where the two can’t do anything on

so, this obviously would lead to some gold conversations

consider:

Schlatt: Wilbur? What are you doing here? Wilbur: I died, Schlatt, same as you. Schlatt: Oh, fuck this. I died to get away from you. Wilbur: Suck it up.

Wilbur, strumming his guitar: Schlatt, completely drunk: Can you shut that thing up? Wilbur: What? My guitar? Schlatt: Yeah, you’re “guitar” or whatever you called it Wilbur: Schlatt, you do know what a guitar is, right? Schlatt, indignant: Y-yes I do! It’s giving me a fucking headache Wilbur: That’s the alcohol Schlatt: Oh, shut up, mister. “guitar” Wilbur: Well, almost there Schlatt: I KNOW WHAT A GUITAR IS

Schlatt: You think that we could get a tv up in here? Wilbur: Or course not, dipshit Schlatt: Just asking. Wilbur: Wait, maybe I could call Ghostbur and he could give us a glimpse into the smp. Schlatt: No, no, no, no, anyone but that guy! Wilbur: GHOSTBUR!! Schlatt: Oh, you- Ghostbur: Hi, I’m Ghostbur!! Schlatt, sitting down in defeat: Wilbur: Yeah, yeah, we know the spiel. You think you could give us an eye into the smp? Ghostbur: Uh, maybe! I can definetely try! Ghostbur:  Ghostbur: Wait, are you Wilbur? Wilbur: Well, look at the nonexistant time, I think you should go! Ghostbur: Wait, you are Wilbur!! Wilbur: Bye bye, Ghostbur! Ghostbur: Oh! Bye, bye! Wilbur: Schlatt: Wilbur: Schlatt: You didn’t even get my goddamn tv. Wilbur: Shut it, ram head.

and when the afterlife was “creating a space for tommy,” like wilbur said after doomsday could be a thing too

Schlatt: That... that looks like an outline of Tommy. Wilbur, raising his head in alarm: Say what now?! Schlatt: Yup, it’s Tommy, but glowing Wilbur, getting up, and running the opposite direction: BYE, SCHLATT Schlatt: I DON’T THINK YOU CAN ESCAPE DEATH, WILBUR! Wilbur: IF JACK MANIFOLD CAN, I CAN! SEE YOU IN HELL, JSCHLATT Schlatt: WE’RE ALREADY IN HELL

and now, Tommy’s dead,,,, so-

TommyInnit was slain by Dream Tommy, opening his eyes to see a white abyss: Where the hell am I? Schlatt, laughing and drinking from behind him: Fucking dead, like the rest of us! Tommy, whipping around to see Schlatt: WHAT?! YOU TWAT! Wilbur, calling from a while away: SCHLATT! I LOST MY GUITAR IN THE ABYSS AGAIN!! Wilbur makes his way into Tommy’s view: Holy crap, is that Tommy? Schlatt: Yup Wilbur: OK, I’VE BEEN PREPARING FOR THIS! *turns heel and runs away* Tommy: WILBUR YOU DICKHEAD!!

Wilbur: I can’t believe Tommy’s dead. Schlatt: I know. It’s the worst, right? The only thing worse than being stuck with you is being stuck with Tommy and Wilbur. Tommy: I’m right here. Wilbur: Can’t they just revive him or some shit? Schlatt: Then we would get revived too. Wilbur: Right, right... Tommy: I’m right fucking here Schlatt: He’s so annoying. God. Wilbur: I wish he would just go away. Tommy: I’M RIGHT HERE!!

I like these little shenanigans lmao

just, three guys who hate each other, stuck together for eternity

what a show

now, more. 

Schlatt: How did you die, anyways, Tommy? Tommy: I don’t want to talk about it. Wilbur: What? Embarassing? Tommy, glaring at Wilbur: Wilbur: Okay, okay.  Schlatt: I’m not backing off, how did you die? Tommy: Fine. Dream beat me to death in the prison. Wilbur: Wait a minute, prison? Wilbur: Uh, what prison? Tommy: Schlatt: Wilbur:

I just think that they should come out of this experience as friends. I mean, Schlatt was an abusive bastard and Wilbur was insane, but, yunno. friends. (this is a threat.) /j

/rp /dsmp

[bedbellyandbeyond]

Call A Friend

(Story Post)

“Are the kids alright?” Nari asked. “Yeah, Korsgaard said they were angels, but I have a feeling he's lying...” Nathan sighed. “I bet they bit someone...” “You can't assume that.” Nari was sitting outside the library talking to Nathan. Nathan had told him to check in if his search lasted more than a week and since he still had no luck, after spending seven days in the expansive library, he took a break to call his friend. “Can you believe he compared me kissing Kent to him literally sleeping with him?” Nathan huffed. “And we're back to that... I don't think I'm allowed to have an opinion on that,” Nari said. “You know, considering my previous relationship to your partner...” “But I'd like your opinion,” Nathan said. “I'm still really fucking lost...”

Nari sighed. “All I know is that it doesn't sound like Dax's behaviour. Cheating on someone just isn't in his nature. One-night stands aren't his thing as he needs time to get to know someone before he'll have sex with them. He's incredibly loyal and he loves you very much.” “I know, I know...” Nathan groaned. “I'm just so confused...” “I would believe that this was something out of his control,” Nari said. “I wouldn't believe it's something out of Kent's control, however, I don't know him.” “Right, I figure Kent's been bullshitting me on a lot of things,” Nathan said. “Like, the guy is so obviously gay, or bi or whatever, but he won't admit it and instead hides himself behind homophobia and ill manners.” “I’m not surprised.” “I mean, we know why he won't come out, it's so...” Nathan groaned. “It's so frustrating. Like, I get that what happened to him was really fucking tragic, you know, losing his girlfriend and his kid, but it was twenty years ago!” “Nathan, I know you're not trying to be mean, but twenty years is not a very long time,” Nari said. “The pain that comes from outliving your children never goes away.” Nathan let out a long sigh. “Right... I suppose you would know... Sorry.” “No, but I understand your point,” Nari said. “He is allowing the pain to prevent him from being himself and opening up to people. That is something that happens to a lot of vampires who get stuck in their feelings... I read a book about a vampire who strictly only drank the blood of red heads because his dead wife had red hair. I didn't like that book.” “Shit,” Nathan cursed. “I haven't asked you about how the search is going... And it’s 11pm here, it must be really late over there. I'm sorry.” “I'm literally a vampire and I called you,” Nari stated. “Right, I'm stupid. Sorry.” “Anyway, this has proved a much more complex task than I had originally thought,” Nari said. “A lot of literature about vampires is written like fiction, in storytelling and such. I naïvely expected I was just going to find a textbook on vampire reproductive systems, but it's just been novels and more novels on vampires giving birth to demons and dark beasts and all kinds of nonsense... Finding fact in fiction is incredibly exhausting, and that's only after finding the books in the first place...” “I'm sorry... Have you asked a librarian or someone to help you look?” Nathan asked. “No... I have no interest in talking to these bloodsuckers... These monsters still use the familiar system around here!” Nari said. “Which system?” “Familiars. You know, human servants promised to be turned one day.” “Ah. Slavery.” “That's what I said.” Nathan sighed. “Well, keep your chin up... You're brilliant and tenacious. You'll find what you need, I'm sure.” “I don't know,” Nari said. “I’ve left Diederich alone quite a while now. I feel maybe I should start looking for the magic books he's been asking about and then we can just go home...” “Aw, don't give up like that,” Nathan said. “I'm sure Diederich is fine on his own and he's there to support you. You just need to keep looking.” “Maybe...” Nari said. “I feel like I'm going crazy. Only thing helping me keep track of time is that more vampires are in the library at night time. The library is completely enclosed during the day, but most of them go home to sleep.” “So, you haven't slept at all?” Nathan asked. “Well, one time I got really bored and nodded off on a couch for about two hours...” Nari said. “Just because you can stay awake for days and days without end, doesn't mean you don't need sleep,” Nathan said. “How do you know that?” Nari said. “How do you I need sleep at all?” “You've told me,” Nathan said. “You told me, the longer you go without sleep, the harder it is to focus and your memory starts to fail you. Like literally right now.” “Oh... Right. That's true,” Nari said. “I suggest you go back to your hotel for a day, get some sleep, at least twelve hours, and then come back in a fresh set of clothes to try the library again where you left off. You need a fresher mind for this. You're tired.” Nari nodded. “You're probably right... Anyway, I'm done with me. Back to your problems.” “Uh, I don't know what else there is to say,” Nathan said. “Did the bear guy see his kids yet?” Nari asked. “Yes, well, we did a video session earlier tonight,” Nathan said. “It's really really hard to hate him when you see him get all emotional from just the kids...” “Did he cry?” “Like a baby,” Nathan snickered. “Hopefully he can compose himself when he sees them next weekend in person.” “And you're comfortable with that?” Nari asked. “Well, yeah... I mean, he's their dad and I'll be there,” Nathan said. “He'll have to promise not to argue with me in front of them... I've made it pretty clear I have full authority over his connection to them.” “Hm... And Dax won't be there this time?” Nathan paused. “No, I don't think so...” “Do you have anyone else you can bring?” Nari asked. “I'm not sure I like knowing it'll just be you and those babies out there in the woods...” “I don't think Kent is a threat to us...” Nathan said. “But I get what you mean. APID’s keeping an eye on him. He usually avoids them, but it'll be part of the condition that he can only see them if he cooperates with APID agents.” “That’s good, yes. Bring an agent with you,” Nari said, flexing his claws. “I'd go with you if I could...” “Well, maybe you'll get lucky and find exactly what you're looking for before the weekend,” Nathan said. “Then you could do the trip with me.” Nari scoffed. “I doubt it... This place is an abyss. If you see me next weekend, it's because I gave up and decided to adopt or something...” “Well, I believe in you,” Nathan said. “You can do it.” Nari sighed. “Well... I’m still on the escort thing. Doesn't your case worker have a field agent for a son? Kingsley or something?” “Korsy, yeah,” Nathan said. “The agent who went with us last week was named Hanover, but he was a bit gun happy, and Korsy might be a better fit... I'll ask Korsgaard if he's available. I know he flies across the country and into the states sometimes on assignments, so he could be busy.” “Well, I'll cross my fingers for you that he's available,” Nari said. “Anything else you want to talk about?” Nathan took a deep breath. “Well, all this started because I hosted Wano in my home... I get upset just thinking about it, but I can't tell if I'm being a bit of an asshole about his situation.” “You haven't shared the situation,” Nari said. “Long story short, he's getting deported but he started seeing this guy from my pregnancy group to have a baby, and they did it in my house when I wasn't home, without my consent...” “Um. What? Of course, you're not the asshole. He is being disrespectful to you and your home. Has he apologised?” “Err... Maybe when I transformed... I scared the shit out of him.” “Hm... Well, yes. You don't have to keep him around. It's not fair to you if you're housing him out of your own goodwill. And if you don't even have your own home, why would you have a baby?” “Right? Both of them live out of other people's places. I can't imagine Jeffrey's cousin will be happy with another baby in his apartment.” “Who's Jeffrey?” “Wano's new partner, I guess... In my opinion he's still a baby himself. Both of them are.” “But they're both consenting adults?” Nari asked. “Yeah.” “Nothing you can do but kick them out. It's not your problem. You have your own problems.” “Yeah... Anyway, I should let you get back to it. I need to sleep. And so do you.” Nari sighed. “I'll think about it...” “No, seriously. Sleep. You'll do better if you do. Can you promise me?” “...Okay.” “For real though?” “Yeah, yeah, I'm tired of this stupid library. It's so medieval.” “Ha, alright.” “So, you should do what you have to do too,” Nari said. “Kick out that Wano guy, give Dax a break but don't throw him out entirely, and kiss the twins for me before you go to bed.” Nathan chuckled a bit. “I will.” “Okay. I'm hanging up now.” “Haha, okay. I'll do the same.” “Bye.” “See you soon.” Nari hung up and sighed. He looked back at the library, considering hitting the books a little bit more, but the thought of having to deal with getting through security again was enough to turn him away for now. He got up and headed back to his hotel. At the very least, he had read a magic book about purification that he could tell Diederich about. Maybe it could be used to lower the blood alcohol levels of a drunk wizard. Hopefully he wouldn’t have to test it out when he got back.

[hela-avenger]

poison & wine- last call

Author: hela-avenger

Word Count: 1195

Summary: Prince Loki of Asgard is in need of a date to take back home. That’s where you come in with a task of your own to make the whole trip with an insufferable prince worth it. Too bad that things don’t always go as planned and you end up giving more than you can take. Fake-Dating AU.

A/N: I don’t know where this came from but it was definitely fun to write! Hope you enjoyed the angst train because by next week that ride will be over! 

poison & wine masterlist

Black Widow Babe- 1 missed call

Hey, just came back from the mission and FRIDAY said you left without saying goodbye. I hope you’re doing ok. If Loki did something to you on that trip, let me know. It wouldn’t be my first time killing a royal prince. Call me back or just come back. Bye. 

Wanda Woman- 1 missed call

Hi, love. I know Nat called but I thought I would call you too. I don’t know… Call it my sixth witchy sense but I feel like something’s wrong. Your room… It’s filled with some chaotic energy and I’m worried. I haven’t told anyone this but call me back and let me know if you’re ok. Maybe we can do brunch and talk about whatever is bothering you. Just know that we’re here for you. Love you. 

Tony ‘IronMan’ Stank- 8 missed calls

Hey. I’ve been calling you and you keep ignoring my calls so here I am leaving a voicemail. Do people still do these things these days? I don’t know and I guess it doesn’t really matter cause I’m doing it. 

I’m just worried about you. Barnes won’t tell me anything about you leaving and the Prince of Darkness has been awfully gloomy and I’m not saying it’s you but… Kid, I mean what happened out there? You left without saying goodbye which you never do and I… I’m just really worried. 

I know you’re back at home trying to recover from what shall not be spoken but call me back. Let me know you’re alive. I… Well, you know. 

The Mighty Thor- 1 missed call

Leave a message after a beep? Alright that seems quite simple, telephone lady. Waiting for a beep. Beep, beep, beep… This is taking too long. Perhaps I should try emaili-

Buchanan Barnes- 3 missed calls

Hi doll, had to sneak off to call you but it seems your phone is off and I get it. I understand why you have to disconnect, but everyone is worried about you. Nat and Wanda cornered me the other day and threatened to take my arm off if I didn’t tell them what I saw when you left but I’m not a trained spy for nothing. I can keep a secret which I assure you, I’ve kept it. Lips are sealed. 

I just… I think you need to come back. Besides everyone being worried about you, I mean… I might not know the guy very well, but Loki is quite the recluse since he returned. We haven’t talked much but he did ask about you and Y/N… Just call me back, please. 

Black Widow Babe- 4 missed call

Wanda Woman- 5 missed call

Tony ‘IronMan’ Stank- 14 missed calls

Unknown Number  Peter Parkour- 1 missed call

Ah, Y/N! Hello! I have finally learned how to use a voicemail! Spiderboy- 

-SpiderMAN

Man? But you are small. You are but a boy. 

-Mr. Thor, please? 

Very well, you are to be a very tiny Spiderman. Where was I going with this? How do I-

-No, don’t push that button-!

Tony ‘IronMan’ Stank- 22 missed calls

Capn’ Crunch (Stevie)- 1 missed call

Hi, Y/N. I know everyone’s been calling and I tried to give you the space you wanted but it’s been weeks since we last heard of you. Bucky assures me you’re fine but I can tell he’s not too sure about that either. 

We all miss you here and I’m not trying to guilt trip you to come back but we do miss you... some more than others. I’m not going to name names but… I don’t know what happened up there in Asgard but I have a feeling that I might actually do and I… I’m trying to refrain from going all Captain to you but is running away the best option here? You have people who care about you and wish to support you here so please consider it. 

Be safe wherever you are. 

Buchanan Barnes- 5 missed calls

Tony ‘IronMan’ Stank- 37 missed calls

The Mighty Thor- 2 missed calls

HELLO! Ah, yes. I finally have managed it. Very tiny Spiderman was not as useful as I hoped he would be, but I have managed on my own! I hope you are doing well Lady Y/N. For my brother’s sake, I hope you are. I told him to leave you a voicemail but he refused. I don’t understand why he’s being quite cold lately. Haven’t seen him this way since we were children when father and I accidentally left him behind in one of our adventures. 

I don’t know what occurred back in Asgard but it seems it must have been quite severe for Loki to be behaving this way. I was hoping you might offer some insight. Or well… I should have considered perhaps that Loki might have done something to you. That’s quite worrisome. Please do call me back or send me an email! My email is- 

End of Audio Message.

Buchanan Barnes- 11 missed calls

Tony ‘IronMan’ Stank- 91 missed calls

Alright, kid. This is the last call I’m making. I… I’ve been calling you every day for the past few months trying to reach you. I have half the mind to fly out to your little getaway and YES I know where you’ve been this whole time. You think I don’t have the means to find your home estate? 

Anyways, I’m tired. It’s four in the morning and I thought I’ll give it one last shot. I’ve been trying to reach you because well… I have some big news. I don’t know if you’ve been checking your mail or even checking your voicemail but I proposed to Pepper a while back. 

We actually had an engagement party, and a bachelor party, and a bridal shower, and well you get the picture… We’ve missed you on a lot of things but you can make up for it by coming to the rehearsal dinner and the wedding. You should have gotten an invite and I’m really hoping you’ll come. You’re family, Y/N so just… Just check your mail and book a flight. 

Y/N- 1 Missed Call

“Hey, I know it’s late and you’re probably asleep but I thought I should call you before I board my flight. I know I’ve been MIA but I… I just needed some time to myself. I know I’ve been gone for a long time but being home gave me that clarity I was looking for. 

I uh… I actually started to read my mother’s journals again and as much as it hurt I could… I could just feel her with me again. I started to think about what she would say about this mess I found myself in and it made me realize that I left you behind. I basically abandoned you and for selfish reasons so I’m sorry. I hope I can make it up to you when I get back to the compound. 

Maybe uh… I mean, if you don’t have a date already, we can go to Tony’s rehearsal dinner together. Just a thought so… so yeah, I’ll see you soon.”

poison & wine tag: @damalseer @just-the-hiddles @jessiejunebug @nonsensicalobsessions @smollest-soybean @assassinoftheworld @readerbandit @doyoufeelikeayounggod @strangemcuvlogs @ha-tep @i-dont-know-eiither @gene-king @day-dreaming-fox @bn-studies @is-it-madness @devilbat @victor-criss-bish @skinny-macncheese @musicconversedance @baby-bunnyxn @fandoms-allovertheplace @marvelloonie @jinxjinxednova @queenmuahaha @accio-boys @eternalqueensworld @umlvk @roger-the-reindeer @punkrockhufflefluff @your-local-abyss @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals​ @rogerrhqpsody @imsad420 @pandacookieowo @justnerdystuffs @hanoi15​ @oneprolificqueen​ @nikki-who-likes-coffee​ @fandomrelative​ @nikki419ninja​ @onedollarduck​ @help-i-need-a-social-life​​ @ephemeraljade​ @catsladen @amwolowicz​ @captainmarvelnerd​ @thegirlbeyondtheuniverse​ @ddaeing​ @leftperfectionmoon​

Loki Tag: @unicorniorosacomefrutillas @thesilentbluesparrow @oddly-drawn-muse @josiehosiedaninja @hp-hogwartsexpress @sadwaywardkid @wolf-lover74 @sizzlingbarbarianglitter @sigyn-njorddottir @aoirohi​ @defunctcherrybomb​ @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals​

All Works Tag: @jmb959 @astudyoftimeywimeystuff @hellocookiecutter @steve-rogers-personal-hell @buckybarnesyard @not-zari-tak @strangersstranger @thefridgeismybestie​ @moonlightprime

[eastofthemoon]

Manage to write this Ducktales fic for Halloween. Enjoy!

Title: Afterthought

Rating: G

Characters: Darkwing Duck and Launchpad

Summary: Drake is trying to make plans for Halloween, but doesn't realize how extensive Launchpad's are. 

Archive of Our Own

--------------------------------------------------------

“Almost there...just a bit more,” Drake muttered as he carved off the last bit of pumpkin. He grinned as he stepped back to admire his work.

His Darkwing Duck jack-o-lantern. He had carved every detail of the eyes, the beak and that ever-so-confident smile.

“Almost perfect,” Drake said aloud as he reached into the trunk and carefully lifted out the items required. “Just need to put on the final touch and voila!”

The small hat, mask and cape fit the pumpkin perfectly!

Drake took a photo to share with the DWD Fanclub, reaching for his coffee as it uploaded. “Much better than all those Gizmoduck pumpkins, if I do say so myself.” 

He took a sip, but spat it out moments later, coughing as he looked into the mug. Why had his drink betrayed him with its bitterness? The answer, naturally, laid in the abyssal darkness of the liquid before him.

“Ah,” Drake grumbled. “I always forget the milk.”

He muttered to himself as he went into his fridge and snagged the milk carton. As he added it to his coffee, he glanced to his calendar.

“Haven’t heard from LP for a couple of days,” he said aloud.

Launchpad had told Drake he was going to be busy with preparations and wouldn’t see him for a bit. That hadn’t bothered Drake since they had just spent a week marathoning the entire TV run of Darkwing Duck, trying out another fan's recommended watching order. 

Besides, Drake knew some people took decorating for Halloween seriously, and LP did like committing whole-heartedly to things.  He was getting a bit of a foreboding feeling from the plans, though; from what Drake had seen of Launchpad's crayon blueprint scribblings, this was going to be on a whole new level.  And much as he didn't want to bother him, it had been close to a week since they'd spoken.

Maybe giving Launchpad a call would help - and if anyone could appreciate his masterpiece for Halloween, it would be his literal partner in fighting crime.  Drake reached for the cell phone and hit dial. He heard the beeping as he took another sip of his drink and swallowed it in time to hear his partner answer.

His ear was greeted by the loud whirring of a chainsaw.

Drake nearly dropped the phone until the roar stopped and he heard Launchpad’s voice. “Hey, DW!”

“Uh, hey, LP,” Drake answered as he lowered his cup. “You okay there?” He narrowed his eyes. “You didn’t crash into your toolshed while answering the phone again did you?”

There was a deep sigh. “I wish,” Launchpad replied. “Sorry, I was just finishing final preparations for..the night.”

Drake sipped his coffee again. “How is that going, anyway?  You've been keeping kinda quiet.”

Launchpad clicked his tongue. “Well, the inner barricade is pretty solid structurally.  I've got enough fuel to keep the burners going, but I think I need more metal sheets for the outer wall.”

Drake raised an eyebrow. Just how big was he planning to make this thing?  And - burners?

“Since I assume you’re staying put I figured I'd stop by your place once I was done patrol for the night,” Drake replied.

There was a gasp from the other end.  “YOU’RE PLANNING ON GOING OUT?!”

“Sure,” Drake said as he set down his mug, placing his  hand on his hip. “Crime doesn’t take a night off just because it’s a spooky night.  I mean, the new mayor is talking about having crime take a vacation, but that's just talk”

“Oh DW,” Launchpad said as it sounded like he was tearing up. “You’re the bravest hero I know.”

“Uh thanks,” Drake replied. 

He was of course brave - braver than Gizmoduck at any rate, and there weren't any other heroes he knew of around - but the enthusiasm was welcome.  It was a bit much, though; Drake was just going to make certain no one tried to do any pranks on innocent victims or steal some kid’s candy. It wasn’t that huge of a deal.

“I can pick up a pizza and we can relax with a movie?” Drake continued.

“If we survive the night,” Launchpad replied in a dark tone.

“You...really get into the spirit,” Drake replied.

“What do you mean-” Launchpad started but then cut himself off. “Oh, wait, got to go. Delivery guy is here with the barbed wire. Got to go!”

Drake barely had time to say bye before he heard a click and put his phone away.

“I really don’t get the theme he’s going for but at least he’s dedicated,” Drake muttered.

-------------------------------------------------------

“You jerk! Give it back!” a kid dressed up as a cupcake yelled.

The Beagle Boy laughed as he began to rummage through the kid’s treat bag.  “Finders keepers squirt!”  

“You didn’t find it, you stole it,” the kid dressed as a fire truck said as he tried to yank back the bag.

“Still found it, still mine,” the Beagle Boy replied as he shoved the kid back. “Now scram before I-”

“I AM THE TERROR THE FLAPS IN THE NIGHT!”

The Beagle Boy and his victims all froze as they looked around.

“I AM THE CANDY CORN THAT LIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE BAG FOR MONTHS!”

“Blackarts?” the Beagle Boy said aloud. “That you?  If this is a prank-”

“I AM DARKWING DUCK!” 

The Beagle Boy was greeted with a kick to the face. He grunted as he fell back and tossed the candy bag in the air. Darkwing flipped, caught the bag and tipped his hat at the Beagle Boy.

“If you want candy, you’ll have to go trick-or-treating like everyone else,” Darkwing Duck cried. He held up a fist. “So leave these kids alone or else.”

The Beagle Boy grunted and glared. “Or else what?”

Darkwing Duck grinned and brought his face closer. “You want to find out?”

The Beagle Boy sweated, trying to stand his ground, but then growled as he began to step backwards. “He didn’t have any good candy anyway.”  He grumbled under his breath. 

The kids came closer as they watched the Beagle Boy retreat and then joyfully looked up to Darkwing. 

“Thanks, mister,” said the cupcake kid.

“You are welcome,” Darkwing said triumphantly as he handed back the bag. “Anything to help a citizen.”

“You got a great costume too, but I thought it was supposed to be red,” said the fire truck kid.

Darkwing halted and forced a smile. “Um..this isn’t a costume. I am Darkwing Duck! Avenger of the weak and...what are you doing?”

Both kids reached into their bags and held out a piece of candy out for him.

“Here you go,” the cupcake kid replied. “Only fair you get candy too!”

Darkwing decided to let the correction go and took the candy. “Thanks, kiddos! Now you'd best get home before it gets too late.”

“Okay, we will,” said the fire truck kid as they waved and ran off.

Darkwing sighed as he unwrapped the candies and popped them into his mouth. “Fourth time tonight,” he muttered. “Oh well, at least they kind of appreciate me.”

Suddenly his phone rang. Darkwing reached for his phone and saw it was Launchpad’s number.

Didn’t think I was running that late, Darkwing replied as he answered. “LP?”

“IT’S A HOLIDAY!” Launchpad shouted so loud Darkwing had to pull the phone away from his ear. “IT’S JUST KIDS DRESSED UP IN COSTUMES! AND THEY GIVE OUT CANDY AND-”

“Whoa, whoa, LP slow down,” Darkwing replied. “What are you talking about?”

Launchpad quickly told him the summary of his night and with each passing word Darkwing could only blink dumbly.

“Let me get his straight,” Darkwing said as he found a bench to sit on. “You thought this whole night was cursed because you read an ‘ancient scroll’ which was actually a candy wrapper and that all the trick-or-treaters were demons.”

“Yeah, funny huh?” Launchpad said with a laugh.

Darkwing was flabbergasted. Then suddenly the conversations the past few weeks flew into his brain and they took on a different meaning. 

“I really need to practice my detective skills.”

“Say again?” Launchpad asked.

Darkwing shook his head. “Nothing. My patrol’s almost done. Want me to stop by your place?”

“Sure! I’m just going to get this free candy from Mister McD, but I’ll meet you at my place.” Launchpad laughed. “Man, it’s a relief to know I don’t have to fight off eldritch horrors in October.”

Darking chuckled. “Yeah, I’ll bet-”

“Now I just have to worry about the flying archers in February,” Launchpad said darkly.

Darkwing went silent. “Come again?”

“It happens every winter.  Crimson streaks everywhere marking the resting places of the fallen, hunters around every corner seeking out new prey,” Launchpad continued. “I'm starting to suspect they're assassins - their targets marked with the design of the beating heart they seek to still.”

Darkwing clicked his tongue. “Launchpad, have you ever heard of a Valentine?”

“Valen-what?”

DW rubbed his forehead and made a note to have a long chat with him.

[collaborationfandom]

Kuroo x Reader

I’m bored so imma serve some tasty one shots

(serve ahaha get it… like the volleyball serve? Ok i’ll shut up now)

Notice:

(-) are authors notes, my notes

L/N is your last name, Y/N is your first name (I’m sure you already assumed this but just in case)

This one shot takes place during the nationals (im crying cuz its been a good 3 months since I saw my haikyuu husbands due of quarantine AND i couldnt play volleyball ma vaffanc-)

You are a volleyball player, a setter to be specific (yes cuz I am a setter), in the Nekoma girl’s team. 

My grammar and sentence structure S U C K cuz I didn't speak english properly for a good month now, so excuse me 

Without a further ado lets get into it.

~~~

To be very honest you were intimidated by the boy’s team. 

I mean how couldn’t you? Have you seen their skill? Their power?

Absolutely terrifying. 

However you got closer to all of them thanks to Kenma. 

You two met your first year out of pure coincidence and started talking about games, your friendship clicked right then and there.

Plus, with him being a setter too, you guys gave each other tips and suggestions a lot of times, you even convinced him to practice together sometimes.

That’s how you met Kuroo. One day he saw you too setting to each other and stood there very interested. 

The captain of the boy’s team was extremely popular, in both the girls volleyball team and the whole mf school. 

I mean how couldn’t he? Tall, strong, very smart, athletic and a third year. The perfect recipe for a bottomless abyss of thirsty girls and boy.

That was the thing that scared you the most about him. The gap between your social status was waaaay too big.

“I have never seen Kenma enjoying setting to another person so much. Especially to someone that isn’t a spiker, Hinata or me.” He held out his hand.

“Tetsuro Kuroo, nice to meet you.” You hesitantly shook his hand back. “L/N F/N, nice to meet you too.”

“You’re in the girls team right?” And that’s how your friendship with him began.

After that encounter you often came to see the boys practice after your own practice was over, since the guys usually stayed a little bit late. 

There they usually asked you to set for them, sometime to play a game together. It was very fun and you got close to all of them very quickly.

Who knew they could all be so friendly after all?

Both the girls team and the boys team made it into the nationals and you were extremely happy about it.

Little did you know, Kuroo was planning to ask you on a date while there. 

“Do you really think y/n is going to say yes kenma?” He asked him a bit nervously while changing. 

“NO WAY YOU LIKE Y/N CAP?!?!” Yamamoto yelled in the changing room.

“Yeah yell it a bit louder you fucker.” Kuroo hissed. “Besides, are you surprised? I thought it was pretty obvious.”

“I heard from their captain that the girls are going to watch our game. You better give your best out there and impress her Tetsurou.” Yaku said while giving him a pat on the back. 

“Don’t worry, I got this.” Kuroo said while confidently grinning. He was going to win and take you on the best date ever.

You looked at the boys team very thrilled. You were so proud of each and everyone of them, but for some reason you kept a close eye to Kuroo. 

His movements were fluid and fast, his spikes strong, and his receives always landed perfectly on top of kenma.

As a setter, there was nothing more attractive than a ball well received.

As a person, fuck Kuroo when playing was hot.

“Oh is this the infamous Nekoma playing?” You heard a voice next to you asking. (ASDFGHJ MIYANO MAMOROU VOICES ATSUMU SO ITS BASICALLY HEARING DAZAI I JUST-)

A blond, tall and fairly muscular guy suddenly appeared next to you. His sweatshirt said Inarizaki High.

Hold the fuck up, this guy is from Inarizaki? Isn’t that a powerhouse school?

“Ah you must be from the Nekoma girl’s team too judging from your red sweatshirt. Congratulations for making it into nationals!” He smiled.

“T-thank you. You are from Inarizaki High right?” You asked.

“Precisely. I’m Miya Atsumu, nice to meet you …?”

“Y/N, L/N Y/N. Wow you’re THE Atsumu Miya? Why are you watching Nekoma?”

You two talked a while, him being surprisingly funny and lighthearted and you more outgoing than the usual. Maybe it was due to the adrenaline from your previous game.

You strangely got so along that you didn't notice the game being over for quite a long time now, and you even got to meet his brother Osamu. 

“And who are them?” You heard a familiar voice behind you. Kuroo was standing with a very rigid face.

“Oh if it isn’t the Nekoma captain.” Atsumu grinned. “Congratulations for your first victory at the nationals!”

“Why thank you. Miya Atsumu and Osamu correct? You are quite a famous duo aren’t you.” He bitterly smiled. 

Your clueless ass couldn’t see the invisible battle that was raging between the three of them and that’s why you were so confused on why Kuroo was so stiff, even though he was usually so outgoing.

“Well anyways, it’s been a pleasure y/n, I hope you come and see our game!” 

Atsumu grinned and looked up like this:

“I’m sure it’s going to be waaaay more fun to watch than those kitties.” He looked at you innocently. “Bye bye!”.

Kuroo was on fire. The moment the twins were out of sight his smile dropped and whispered “That blond bastard.”

“Hey, he was nice, don’t insult him like that.” You nudged him playfully. 

“Well, but I can’t help getting jealous.” 

You two both remained quiet.

 “You’re… jealous?” You asked.

“Ah, I said that out loud didn’t I.” Ah fuck it, it’s now or never Tetsurou. “Y/n… I get very jealous of anyone that talks or even stares at you.”

He took a deep breath. “And I think it is because I fear someone might steal you away from me. All those practices we spent, the times we are together they always make me happy. And I want to be the reason for your happiness as well. So…” he grabbed your hands gently.

“Will you go out with me?”

You were overwhelmed with emotions. The team captain… Kuroo.. With you? You almost cried of happiness. 

“Yes.”

And thats how the new Nekoma power couple was formed. 

~ Mod Dazai 

[rockfact]

fuck it liveblogging tpoh but putting it in one post so its not annoying (pls read tpoh before reading this post its got so many spoilers) also this is rlly long (http://jolleycomics.com/TPoH/The%20Hook/1)

anyway wow rgb rlly didnt like hero in the beginning eh?

OOOH THIS IS WHERE THE BUTTERFLY COMES FROM I FORGOT IT WAS THIS EARLY

god i love the worldbuilding in this beginning bit like ofc theres lies and doubts and fears like sure!! why not!!! this guys got a tv head!

oh dude rgb dead<3

MADRAS MY BELOVED

"cover ur vents" dude he IS a tv eh. well i know that she takes apart his wiring later but LMAO

rgb hates water<3 i would too if i was a tv. my sona is a tv but has water IN them so... yknow

TOby MY BELOVED HELLOOO

oh yeah the ferrys gone innit

sorry she did what to u TOby??? WHAT???

DIAL HI HI HI HI HI DIAL IL LOVE YOU

i forgot rgb is British. gay little guy who says cheerio and telly

bro her fucking dreams got in his vents oh no

YOOO HIS SUIT CHANGED COLOR AFTER GLITCHING i love this fucking comic

dude she killed that idea OH hi the moth butterfly is back

oh nooo the doubts r here and shes crying nnonoooo

GOD GET HER tHE DOUBTS R GONNA EAT HER ALIVE DAMMIT

OHF UCK THE FEARS ARE BACK AND OH FUCK A GRIEF TOO?!??? FUCK

oh bro the grief fuckin cried on him oh noooo wait isn't this when he goes negative. i think soYEAH IT IS !!! NEGATIVE MY CONFUSING BELOVED

get those fears asses negative wooo !!!! also bye the grief ^_^

oh yeah gotta take him to the tree since he's out of order eh

ASSOK ASSOK ASSOK

oh rgbs outfit changed again. does that when he glitches it seems:) i love it

hero pls just listen to him

assok i LOVE YOUUUU

THE FUCKING TREE MELTED CANT HAVE SHIT IN [whatever this place is called i don't remember rn]

aaand down they go!

OGHHGHH THE IDEA DIAL TOby AND MADRAS ALL SEEING THE TREEEEE YEAHHHHHH

YES THE BIRD I LOVE THE BIRD !!!!

AND MELODY TOO I LOVE THEM BOTH THEYRE GAY <3

poor TOby :(

the fuckin.. god i love this comic. the metaphors for trauma and shit i eat it UP

rgb i love ur puns but please shut up /j

DID SOME FUCKIN SCISSORS COME IN HERE AND CUT OUT THE WIVES ??? WHAT THE FUCK<3 LOOKS COOL AF BUT DIE. WHY ohhh that's why we see them later and they're all wet n shit. the ocean ate them

AWE HERO ILY bye you stinkin butterfly get outta here !!!

OHH I FORGOT HOW COOL THE HEARING IN THE DARK BIT IS !

YES THE MARKET I LOVE THE MARKET I LOVE THE FIGHT SCENE ...

HIS SUIT CHANGD AGAIN CUZ OF THE DIMMING OF HIS BRIGHTNESS I LOVE THIS LORE !!!! ITS SO COOL

wait dial don't u dare throw TOby into the abyss i stg. die dial

oh they rlly are cousins huh. sayin the same thing.. also dial die i hate ur gay little headNNNOOOOOOOO HE DROPPED TOby FUCK YOU DIAL

nooo this is making me sad abt the characters i make and then forget :( i don't want them to be forgotten

CELL ILY

DUDE SHES IRONING HIS FUCKING ARM

god i love hero sm

LMAO RGB GETS HORSESHOES <3

i love the explanations of characters getting outlines n stuff. this is so cooooool

oh goodnight to the market. hi dial fuck you OPH HERES THE WIVES !!

oguh the one sided convo ... spooky

mmmmm don't dream around rgb or no good!! bad !!!! love the bits of lore tho. fuck yeah

oh and his clothes changed again i think! nice!!! i love the suit he's wearing in the recent ones.. really my style

WAHHH HERO LEAVING ASSOK BECAUSE ASSOK WANTS IT.. IM FUCKING. I LOVE HERO SO MUCHHHHHH THEYRE SO NICE... i love this story

this story legit be changing the way i look at other stories . mmm solid outlines my beloved

the fact rgb can just turn up his volume to scream louder<3

AH OFUCK THE DUDES GOT A GUN EH oh yeah his names click. i wonder how many names i can steal from this comic

god rgb so smart :)

click my beloved antagonist

HE JKUST SHOT RGB WHAT THE FUCK. SHOT HIM W REDACTED TOO?::?W AHT THE FUCK CLICK

god i love this bit. hero can shoot him or not. he's muted he cant defend himself. its so good oh my god. rgb accepts it too.. he takes his hat off expecting to die oh my god. i love this bit SO MUCHH

the fuckin.. "what do heroes do to monsters?" "SAVE THEM!" LIKE YEAH HERO I LOV EYOU

n then rgb is banned (rightly but how do they get assok back??) and hero becomes his keeper i love this. i fucking love all the chapters in the market

"did you ever forgive me?" "did you want me to?" "...no" "oh, well, that's too bad" HELLO? WHAT!

ogoh and clicks eye(??) falling into the market.... checkovs gun innit

madras lore yesss

all my homies love the world of make believe :)

ah fuck the trees are gone oh this is fuck

I KNEW SHE GAVE HER FINGERS TRAIN

oooh so rgb was a writer? or a comic artist or something???????? cooool

LMAO NICE TIMING LOSERS

!!! CANDLE RABBIT

idea loose in the market!!

AH FUCK CLICK IS BACK :I KNEW IT

the idea is a fish now! cool. good on it. love this idea

oh TOby finally hit the bottom huh?

this rabbit is so confusing wtf

3 suns????????? rabbit cmon man you put us way too forward wtf!!

ah yeah rgb is broken eh? getting close to the end

SHE FOUND ANOTHER BIT OF THE FUCKING SUN? R U KIDDING ME

MELODYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also lmao julienne melted cuz shes cotton candy :(

LMAO HERO IS MELTING HELP

i love how hero goes from obviously human to ?? that could be a monster!

madras time

fuckers turned off rgbs body cant have shit in make believe

MADRAS NO WHAT DONT LEAVE:(

and they step back!

elastic valley my beloved

i love these pigs sm

hi tg

"because he's *trying*" hero id fuckign die for you

AAAAAAAAAAAND I'm caught up! post time. sorry if u read all of this i have an illness and its called sharing my feelings all the time

[cake-in-a-tin]

welcome to our mayhem

hi! Welcome to my first attempt at a text fic, idk how good it ‘tis, but let me know what you think! (lils-Lily, burgerz-Mary, queen-Marlene, wonderland gurl-Alice, dork-Dorcas)

tHe BaEs

Lils: yo dudes

Burgerz: waddup

Lils: imma add this girl who’s joining tomorrow if that’s ok - we’re old friends from like nursery

Queen: sure, is that dorcas meadowes ?

Queen: I think I’m her tour guide or some shit

Wonderland gurl: sorry I was sleeping

Wonderland gurl: what did I miss

Queen: wHaT dId I mIsS

Queen: hEaDfIrSt InTo A pOlItIcAl AbYsS

Burgerz: i been in paris meeting lotsa different ladayys

Wonderland gurl: I guess I practically missed the late eightaysss

Queen: travelled the whole wiiideee world and came back to this

Lils: pleeeeassse not again....

Lils: mar I thought you were on my side???

Queen: sorryyyyyy

Queen: I couldn’t resist it

Queen: it was perfect!

Wonderland gurl: it was indeed. I set you up fuckin perfectly u are very much welcome biatch

Burgerz: *slow claps in appreciation*

Lils: anyways imma add this girl now, she is dorcas mar and she’s lovely so be nice!

Lils added Dork

Lils: welcome to our mayhem love 

Dork: hii 

Lils: shall we all like introduce ourselves?

Queen: k, I’m first

Queen: hello, I am Marlene McKinnon, and I’m your stupid tour guide thing that Dumbledore thought was a good idea

Burgerz: hi, I’m Mary MacDonald (hence the name) and I’m very bad at maths, which is also my only personality trait

Wonderland gurl: hello there, my name is Alice Fortescue (don’t try and spell it it took me almost seven years of my life) and I have a fucked up sleep schedule tm

Lils: everyone knows me uwu 

Dork: okay, im Dorcas Meadowes, and I’m just a bi disaster haha

Queen: lol mood

Wonderland gurl: oh btw dorcas we are all lgbtq+ soo 

Dork: okay cool 

Queen: ya, I’m gay, lils is pan, mary is aroace and alice is queer

Wonderland gurl: yh I’m figuring it out but ik girls are pretty as well so :)

Dork: can relate lol

Wonderland gurl: I should probably sleep it’s school and I haven’t slept properly in like three fuckin daysss

Queen: gurrrrllllll omg u r gonna dieee tomorrow

Wonderland gurl: ik im scared and it’s only seven thirty but i will sleep like four and a half hours of that because I just watch netflix aaahh

Burgerz: just gooo Ali, otherwise u will regret everything

Wonderland gurl: k byeee bitchez

Lils: bye

Queen: bye love

Burgerz: cheerio

Dork: bye I think?

Lils: we're all a mess, u get used to it dw 

Lils: also Mary can u get anymore stereotypical British omg

Burgerz: I’m sorry babe it’s in my natureeee

Queen: lol

Queen: I ghibhjfyfvbss

Dork: r u ok?

Queen: a frickin moth bro 

Queen: it attacked me and I’m scared because I didn’t see where it went

Lils: I’m rooting for you love

Queen attached a video

Burgerz : omg I’m dyingggg your voicem u sound so scared

Queen: lmao I was scared for my life if I’m being honest 

Dork: ahahahaha I’m laughing out loud and my cat is just looking at me like wtf is wrong with you human

Queen: u have CAT???

Burgerz: you have a cat? I must see him

Queen: lol we are on the same wavelength haha

Burgerz: ✨soulmates✨ Burgerz: but like platonically lol

Dork: here is mouse

Dork attached a photo

Queen: vvffdyujcndh 

Queen: so fuckin adorable

Burgerz: I LOVE him

Lils: I’ve seen him before and I love him, but I don’t think I ever asked - why mouse?

Dork: lmao we just thought it would be ironic

Dork: also he’s never caught a mouse or anything else in his life because he’s too damn lazy

Queen: omg I relate to mouse so much lol

Dork: honestly same 

Lils: dudes we should probs sleep if we want to be beautiful for school

Queen: ugh sleep is so overrated 

Queen: but yeah...

Lils: bye xxx

Burgerz: adios 

Dork: byeee

Queen: see yall tomorrow

Private message: Lils + Queen

Queen: yo, quick question

Lils: shoot

Queen: what does dorcas look like?

Lils: ummm idk, why?

Queen: eh no reason

Lils: she’s black, short dark brown hair, gorgeous blue eyes

Queen: so cute?

Lils: hell yeh

Queen: oh god save me

Lils: yh u will need prayers

Queen: aaaahh 

Queen: well gn 

Lils: night xxx

tHe BaEs

Wonderland gurl: good morning!

Queen: no it is not

Lils: I’m dyingggg cancel schools pls

Wonderland gurl: I slept fuckin amazingly last night soooo :)))))))

Dork: hjeicnefskd 

Dork: I can’t 

Queen: oop me neither mornings are my least favourite thing ever 

Lils: uggghhhhhh 

Lils: sooo jealous of Mary

Dork: why?

Wonderland gurl: she lives rlly close to school so she wakes uo super late and just walks

Dork: wow luckyyyy

Lils: ikrrrr

Queen: I want to sleep

Wonderland gurl: no! remeber what happened last time you were late?

Queen: oh god don’t remind me

Dork: do I even want to know?

Queen: nkt really lol

Queen: lily u tell it I need to shower

Lils: okayyy

Lils: get ready for a fuckin wild ride babe

Lils: so, we have this teacher called McGonagall and she’s the single most terrifying yet amazing person ever to teach us

Wonderland gurl: and that’s saying something trust me

Lils: she’s pretty chill until u do something that pisses her off. And one thing that pisses her off is people being late. Marlene was late because she couldn’t get her lazy ass out of bed, and she came into form time like ten minutes after the bell rang. as you can imagine, McGonagall was not at all pleased at this, and proceeded to give mar a lecture in front of the whole class and then give her detention for a whole week. Before school.

Wonderland gurl: Marlene looked sooo tired the whole week

Dork: wow, that is ✨brutal✨ Dork: remind me never to be late

Lils: will do x

Wonderland gurl: we have to remind Marlene every once in a while of the ‘‘incident’ to motivate her to get out of bed

Queen: I’m back dudes 

Queen: so you see dorcas that is why I am never ever late anymore because that week was absolute hell I am not going through again.

Queen: ever

Dork: honestly I’m scared to meet this teacher lmao

Wonderland gurl: nah she’s actually soo nice unless you get on her bad side

Burgerz: heyyyy

Lils: maryyyy

Dork: hello!

Burgerz: so, everyone ready for school?

Queen: pretty much, I’m on the train rn

Lils: same, I’m opposite her

Dork: oooh I am also travelling by train I will try to find u guys 

Queen: we are right at the end, if I see you I will scream ‘cheese’ as loud as I can

Lils: noooooo please, can’t embarrassing us in public wait at least a day

Queen: nope

Dork: u don’t even know what I look like lmao

Queen: I will know

Lils attached a video file

Dork: lmao i was terrified

Queen: it worked though 

Wonderland gurl: I’m so glad I get the bus and don’t have to endure this

Burgerz: wow. How are you not embarrassed Marlene?

Queen: idk, I guess I don’t care what oriole think lol

Dork: rEsPeCt

Dork: also please never again

Private message: Lils + Dork

Dork: LILY WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME MARLENE WAS ACTUALLY SO BEAUTIFUL IM DYING 

Lils: lmao sorry

Private message: Lils + Queen

Queen: oh god u were right she’s so hot helppppp

Lils: I’m praying 4 u

hii! I hope that you liked this mess, I’m probably going to continue it, so yeah, let me know what you think?

[delusionalwriterr]

Resurgence (1)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avengers!Reader

Summary: After accepting a mission from an old friend, you and along with the other Avengers set out to another planet to retrieve a mysterious gem. Little did you know that the gem isn’t the only thing inhabiting the planet and soon found yourselves in a sticky situation.

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: slow burn, language, friendship issues, mentions of injuries, death, inaccurate depictions of space travel, angst, fluff

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters and any of the other fictional works mentioned.

A/N: I hope y’all like it! Every detail about the mission is purely made up by me so yea HAHAHAH

Prologue | Masterlist | Chapter Two

“You sure you wanna do this, doll?” Bucky asked as he stuffed a few clothes in his duffel bag. The two of you were in your shared bedroom, packing for the mission. After the uncomfortable phone call with Peter, you gathered a few of the Avengers and relayed to them the details.

The Guardians were initially hired to retrieve a gem called the Resurgentium Stone, but the client refused to disclose any more information about it other than where it was and what it looked like. The gem was located on a planet called Mortvivus which was a few lightyears away from Earth and it was a green, irregularly-shaped stone that was about the size of a golf ball.

After explaining everything, the people who were willing to help you were Steve, Sam, Natasha, Rhodey, and of course your boyfriend, Bucky. Tony opted to stay behind to watch over the compound, but you all know he’s still petrified to go back into space after being stuck there for almost a month.

“I’m sure,” you replied, shooting Bucky an assuring smile. “Without me piloting that ship, who knows where you’ll end up.” you quipped, letting out a laugh which Bucky reciprocated. He then proceeded to watch you as you continued to pack, a dazed look in his eyes.

You halted your actions when you caught him from the corner of your eye and stared back. You drew your eyebrows together, an amused smirk displayed on your lips. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer, Sarge.” you teased, causing Bucky to turn red at the nickname. He cleared his throat and went over to where you were seated and situated himself beside you.

He grabbed your hand and lifted it to his lips, placing a delicate kiss on your knuckles. While doing this, he made sure to bore his eyes right into yours as you felt your cheeks heat up at the sudden gesture. Even if you and Bucky had been together for a few years now, he still manages to make you a blushing mess after doing the littlest things.

Bucky pulled his lips away from your hand. “You know I love you, right?” he asked, still staring at you with nothing but love and adoration in his eyes. “And that I’d do anything for you?” You beamed before nodding your head and giving his lips a quick peck. “I know. I could say the same to you, Bucky.”

EARTH - 5 MINUTES TO LAUNCH

Soon enough, the six of you were boarding the ship. “Alright, besides Bucky, who’s never been to space?” you asked as everyone took a seat. You looked behind you from the pilot’s chair and saw that Sam’s hand was raised. “Well sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride, birdie.” you teased, making Sam roll his eyes at the silly nickname you always used to get on his nerves.

“Is this thing on?” you heard Tony’s voice through your comms, “Be careful out there, guys.” he said to which Rhodey answered, “We will, man, don’t worry.”

As you were about to take off, you heard him again. “Don’t let anything probe you,” he remarked, causing you to chuckle, “No promises.”

After making sure everyone is fastened to their chairs, you started the ship and took off. At full speed, you drove the ship up and into the sky, driving your body backwards into your seat as you set the thrusters to maximum.

“I just remembered how much I hated space,” you hear Steve mumble, his voice shaky due to the turbulence. A few minutes later, you exited the Earth’s atmosphere and were met with the dark abyss that is space.

“I change my mind, I don’t wanna do this anymore, take me home.” Sam pleaded, drawing a cackle from you as you put the ship on co-pilot, unbuckled your seatbelt, and stood up from your seat.

The others mirrored your actions as you went over to where they were sitting. “If you thought that was bad, wait until we get to the wormhole,” you taunted before hearing a groan from Natasha, “I hate those things,”

“Wait, isn’t that the thing Matthew McConaughey went through in Interstellar where it was all trippy and shit?” Sam inquired, fear in his eyes. Bucky, on the other hand, looked like an excited puppy after hearing the word ‘wormhole’ and turned to you. “I always wanted to go through one of those, please tell me we’re going through one of those.” he pleaded, slightly bouncing up and down. However, the rest of the team were looking mortified.

Bucky never thought he’d be alive during a time when space travel was possible. Hell, he never imagined that he would be able to make it to space, himself! He spent most of his life picturing the day he’d get to see space in person, and here he was staring dreamily out of the window, admiring the view.

You nodded your head before proceeding to explain, “We’ll arrive at the wormhole in approximately two hours, so get comfortable.” You laughed as you earned a collective groan from the rest of the group. “Sorry, guys, but if we don’t use the wormhole we’ll all be at least two hundred years old when we get to Mortvivus.” you explained, shrugging your shoulders as Bucky put an arm around you, a huge grin on his face.

Rhodey scoffed at the sight, “I’m sure that smile is gonna be gone by the time we go through the wormhole.”

SPACE - 1 HOUR TO THE WORMHOLE

The team was eating their lunch on the table at the back of the ship while you were seated in the pilot’s seat, contacting the Guardians. “Doll, come eat with us.” Bucky called from across the room.

“I’ll be there in a minute,” you called back, your eyes fixated on the screen in front of you as you tried to reach the Benatar. Your leg bounced up and down, something you tend to do when you were anxious, as you waited for someone to pick up and have their face pop up on the screen. You pray to whoever was listening that it wouldn’t be Peter because you’re still not ready to face him after all those years.

It wasn’t until someone picked up the call and Rocket’s face appeared on your screen when you released a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Rocket!” you squeeked, your voice going up an octave higher as you tried to hide the relief in your voice with excitement. “Hey, kid! Quill’s eating somewhere on the ship so I’m taking charge of it for a while.” the racoon greeted as he sat in the pilot’s chair, a sling around his arm.

You frowned at the sight and leaned in towards your screen. “Aren’t you supposed to be resting or something? You look pretty banged up.” you pointed out. Rocket was the person (or in this case, rodent) you were closest to after Peter. You had this sibling-type bond that you always found comfort in and you were relieved that it was still comfortable to talk to him after years of not seeing each other.

Rocket scoffed as he waved a dismissive hand. “They can’t keep the real captain away from his ship,” he commented, “enough of that. Where are you? You were supposed to call before you left Earth.”

“Right, sorry about that, it kinda slipped my mind,” you replied, sheepishly scratching the back of your head. “We’re on our way to the wormhole, should be there in an hour or so.” Rocket nodded and turned to the tangled pile of branches beside him, “Wanna say hi to (Y/N)?”

A smile broke into your face as you saw Groot squeeze himself into frame. “I am Groot!” he shouted, voice deeper than the last time you talked to him. “I miss you too, Groot!” you cooed. He then returned to playing his game and you turned your attention back to Rocket. “How are ya, kid?” he questioned, leaning towards his screen, his voice suddenly becoming softer.

You answered by giving him a tight-lipped smile before uttering, “Better as I’ll ever be.” Before he could answer, Gamora emerged from behind him. “Rocket, what did I tell you to get some rest— oh, hi, (Y/N)!” she chirped, coming closer to the monitor. “It’s great to see you again, I hope you’re doing well.”

Your heart warmed at the fact that she still cared about you despite your decision of leaving the team. “It’s great to see you too, Gamora. I hope they’re not giving you a hard time,” you joked, earning a chuckle from her.

Just then, another voice came through that made your whole body tense up. “Is that (Y/N)? Let me talk to her,” Peter’s voice filled your ears. You froze when you heard his footsteps approach the computer as you tried your best to think of an excuse to hang up. Fortunately for you, Bucky called you over another time, “Doll, if you don’t come here and eat, Sam’s gonna steal all your food.”

You quickly turned back to your computer. “I gotta go, I’ll update you when we’re near the planet. Bye.” you rambled, swiftly ending the call before Peter showed up. You sighed and stood up to walk towards the table to join Bucky and the others.

You pulled up a chair next to Bucky and started to eat. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you towards his body as he looked at you. His eyebrows were drawn together, mentally asking you if you were okay to which you only nodded in return. “So what’s it like going through a wormhole anyway?” Sam piped up. “The worst feeling ever.” Steve grumbled, taking a sip from his coffee.

Sam snapped his head towards his blonde friend, a dirty look on his face. “I don’t know if you’ve ever been turned into space dust before, but I’m pretty sure it’s way worse than travelling through some space portal.” he retorted, earning a laugh from everyone around the table as Steve lifted his arms up in defense. “Y’all still haven’t answered my question,” he pointed out as he turned to you.

You shook your head as you kept shoving spoonfuls of food in your mouth. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

SPACE - 2 MINUTES TO THE WORMHOLE

“Everybody’s seatbelts on?” you asked as you gripped the steering wheel of the ship. “Everything is gonna look really weird when we enter the wormhole— your vision’s gonna get distorted, things around you will look freaky, but that’s totally normal.”

Everyone nodded, too afraid to ask anymore questions. “I don’t think any of this is totally normal,” Sam countered, his knuckles turning white due to the death grip he had on the armrests on his seat. You hear Rhodey mumble in agreement before counting down, “Entering the wormhole in three, two, one.”

You dive into the spherical figure as you saw the light around you bend into something more tunnel-like. You were going through the wormhole in full speed as you felt the ship shake violently. “Why did I agree to this again?” you heard Natasha shout through the noise.

Bucky’s eyes marveled at the sight before him. Distorted stars and planets were whooshing past him at the speed of light, his field of view much wider than normal. He was a full fledged astronaut now, he thought to himself. Rhodey looked over to him to see the same boyish grin on his face as they continued to make their way to the other side of the hole. “Disneyland rides must seem like nothing to you,” he commented.

After a few minutes of speeding through space and time, you finally exited the wormhole. You heard Sam release a big huff of air before breathing heavily. “Hold on, I think I left my soul on the other side, go back,” he panted as he clutched a hand to his chest. Steve shook his head as he leaned his head back to rest on his chair, “I’m too old for this.”

“That. was. awesome!” Bucky enunciated, earning glares from the rest of the team and a smile from you. “Good job, babe. Best pilot in the galaxy,” he added, throwing you a wink. You shook your head and focused your attention to what was in front of your ship.

“There it is,” you began. “Mortvivus.”

You shot a quick message to the Benetar, telling the Guardians that you were able to travel through the wormhole successfully and that you were about to land on the planet. With shaky hands, you guided the ship towards the planet and began your descent.

“Here we go.”

A/N: If you want to be tagged, feel free to leave a reply or just message me! ❤️ Requests are open too ⭐️

Taglist: @thewolfgirluniverse

[jeontaeh]

TWELVE¹²

"Reaching planet Sunreese in 12 minutes." The robot voice commented from the control panel, and Taehyung pressed a little button and then turned around.

"Who wants to go out?" Taehyung asked, and Yoongi turned around in his chair. "Since there's talking involved, Jimin and I should go. Namjoon should come too, and Jin in case of an emergency."

"Can I come too? I need to find some parts which seem to be missing in the engine room." Hoseok explained, and Yoongi nodded, so Hoseok gave him a small smile.

"I'm gonna go with Yeontan- since he wants to be on the planet." Jungkook said, and Taehyung chuckled.

"How would you know?" Taehyung asked, and Jungkook sighed, looking at him angrily. "He told me. Anyways- M'gonna go put on some clothes." Jungkook said, since he was just in his boxers.

"Yeah, we've been meaning to talk to you about that. Could you.. not go around in tiny boxers? We have clothes for a reason, y'know." Jin said, and Jungkook pouted a little.

"It's comfortable," Jungkook said, and then Taehyung smirked a little.

"I think he looks nice." Taehyung said, and Jungkook looked at him, and then smirked a little himself.

"M'sure it'd look nicer if I took it off, no?" Jungkook winked, and Taehyung blushed a little, but then his grin grew. "Sure would, Cherry."

Jungkook licked his bottom lip, and then turned around and walked out of the control room.

"What the fuck was that?" Jin asked, and Taehyung turned to face him. "What was what?"

"You guys were flirting so hard! It was painfully obvious." Yoongi scoffed, and Taehyung hummed, turning around to face the control panel.

"Cherry finally admitted he wants some of that jupiter dick, didn't he?" Jimin said, and Taehyung looked at him with disgust.

"That's disgusting.. and yes." Taehyung grinned, and then Hoseok cleared his throat.

"Is it true that everything is bigger in Jupiter? Because you're like 5'7," Hoseok said, and Taehyung frowned at him. "I'm 5'10 and literally taller than you."

"I heard people in Jupiter are like 7 feet tall." Jimin said, and Taehyung hummed. "Maybe. I dunno, never been there."

"But aren't you from there?" Namjoon asked, and Taehyung continued pressing stuff around on the panel. He just nodded.

"How come you've never been there? My cousin's dad is from Venus and she goes there every summer." Yoongi aid, and Taehyung smiled a little.

"I guess you need someone from the planet to take you there.." Taehyung chuckled, and then Jimin frowned. "Your mother..?"

Taehyung paused, an obvious shift in his body which everyone sensed. Namjoon cleared his throat. "Anyways- is everyone ready? We need to leave soon."

"Yeah. Tae, you and Jungkook will stay on the ship, right?" Jin asked, and Taehyung nodded.

"Shut the fuck up you fucking pig I already fed you three WHOLE pieces of chicken!" Jungkook shouted from the hallways of the ship, and Jimin sighed.

"I've heard him talking to himself like 8 times today. He also keeps saying the dog talks. So like, can we all agree he's gone insane?" Jimin said, and Taehyung laughed.

"Leave him alone, the space stuff is probably fucking with him." Taehyung said, and Namjoon sighed, sitting down on the captain's chair.

"This space stuff is fucking with all of us. There's no way to contact anyone.. we could die any moment and no one would know." Namjoon said quietly, staring out at the black abyss.

"Check out Mr. Existential Crisis over here, sheesh." Yoongi said, and Jin tsked and walked up to Namjoon, running his hand through his hair.

"He's right, it is fucking with us." Jin said, and Namjoon gave him a small smile, and then Jungkook walked into the control room, setting Yeontan down.

"We're landing, Kook. Sit down somewhere." Namjoon informed, and Jungkook saw everyone was strapped onto seats. He walked towards one of the chairs, and then Taehyung turned his chair around to see him.

"There's a seat right here, Cherry." Taehyung smirked, sitting with his legs apart, wiggling his eyebrows at the younger.

"I'm good." Jungkook said, and Taehyung scoffed, and then turned around, picking Yeontan up and placing him on his lap.

"Well, Yeontan likes my seat very much, thank you." Taehyung grumbled, and then Jungkook saw Yeontan lay down on his lap.

Hoseok pulled the ship towards the planet to land, a technology adapted for passengers to feel nothing as the ship hurled towards it, and then stopped. There was a bit of quiet, and then "Damn y'all thighs comfortable as FUCK."

Taehyung screamed.

He pushed Yeontan off him, and then jumped off the chair. "Oh my god! He just- h-he just-"

"Did that puppy just talk?!" Jimin let out, and Jungkook got up.

"I told you guys!" Jungkook snapped, and then looked at Yeontan. "Dude, why'd you talk?"

"I'm getting off here anyway, so these gays can know my mouth BIG." Yeontan remarked, and Jungkook huffed, and then looked up to see all the boys with their mouths wide open, eyes enlarged.

"Oh shut your mouths. I told you guys he could talk, but none of you believed me. So hah. There." Jungkook said, and then saw as Yeontan rolled his eyes. Jungkook pursed his lips. "No point talking to him, he's really mean-"

"I just want to thank you guys for letting me join on this marvellous trip with all of you. You've all been so considerate, hospitable, and sweet. I have lived on Woofzuno for a long time, but my sister lives here, hence I snuck onboard to come here and finally embrace my long lost family. Thank you so much, I am forever grateful." Yeontan said, and Jungkook's mouth dropped.

"Aw, Yeontan! You're so nice!" Jimin said, walking up to him.

Jungkook stared, frozen in shock. "Of course we'd let you come here, Tannie. You should've just told us! You wouldn't have had to deal with Jungkook," Taehyung laughed.

"Yeah Yeontan. You helped us on Woofzuno too, buddy. I hope you meet your sister." Namjoon said, and they all circled around him to pet him.

"I-I hate that stupid dog," Jungkook grumbled under his breath, and then kicked his chair, angry.

Jimin set Yeontan down. "Why don't you get ready for leaving, Tannie? Take all the food and snacks you need!" Jin said, and Yeontan nodded with a wag of tail.

"Thank you so much, you are all ever so sweet." Yeontan said, and all of them aww'ed, and then Yeontan walked up to Jungkook, who crouched down.

"So, you were just being mean to me to let you get on here?" Jungkook asked him.

"No you used tampon." Yeontan snapped, and Jungkook cowered his head. "I don't got no sister. I came here to fuck BITCHES and get MONEY. Tha's the way of life, sis."

"Oh.." Jungkook said, and then sighed. "Well, I still hope you-"

"Shut up, coloniser. I was joking. I came here 'cause my sister lives here." Yeontan said, and Jungkook smiled a little.

"Oh! I-I knew it! Knew you were actually a nice dog. A good boy. Who's a good boy? Yes you are, the goodest little boy in the-"

"Shut the fuck up big nose."

"Jeez okay." Jungkook said quickly, pouting a little. "You should get ready." Jungkook said, and Yeontan nodded, and Jungkook smiled and reached to pet him- but Yeontan growled and tried to bite his hand, so Jungkook got up and rushed away.

✭

"Bye Yeontan! Be safe! I'll miss you!" The boys called, and Jungkook leaned down and hugged him tight, and Yeontan punched him in the face and said "Don't suck too much dick." and then left.

"Okay guys, we'll get going. You sure you two will be safe here all alone?" Namjoon said to Taehyung and Jungkook, who nodded. "Yes captain." They both said together.

"Alright, good. We'll be back in an hour or two. Don't mess things up." Namjoon warned, and then he, Hoseok, Yoongi, Jimin, and Jin went off, leaving Jungkook and Taehyung alone.

They both waved at them, seeing the spaceship door close on its own. There was a long pause. And then-

"Let's watch a movie-"

"Can you suck my dick?"

Taehyung paused, and then turned to face Jungkook. "What?"

"Can you please suck my dick?" Jungkook asked politely, and Taehyung scoffed.

"God, Jungkook. Is everything to you about sexual contact? Do you know nothing of being friends with someone, or-or-" Taehyung started, and Jungkook blinked obliviously, so Taehyung sighed. "Only if you suck mine too."

"Deal!" Jungkook grinned, and then grabbed Taehyung's hand and rushed to Taehyung's bedroom.

Taehyung stumbled inside, and then turned around, and saw Jungkook walking over to him. "Down. Now." Jungkook snapped.

Taehyung let him walk closer and place his hand on his waist. "I said get down on your-"

"Talk to me like that and we won't get anywhere, Cherry." Taehyung snapped, and Jungkook pursed his lips.

"Get down on your knees please Taehyungie?" Jungkook asked in a sweet voice, and Taehyung smirked, and then reached his hand down to Jungkook's boxers, and pulled them down in an instant.

Jungkook's eyes widened, and his hardened cock jumped out. "Already hard? Little needy, huh?" Taehyung smirked, and Jungkook blushed and shook his head.

"Shut up. Suck my dick." Jungkook snapped, and Taehyung rolled his eyes, and then got down on his knees.

He took Jungkook's cock in his hand, and gave it a tug, looking up at him with his daring silver eyes. Jungkook bit his lip, and then saw Taehyung reach his lips around the head of his cock.

"Go ahead, m'sure you've done it before." Jungkook smirked, and Taehyung yanked his cock really hard, and Jungkook yelped.

"A-ah- o-okay- sorry." Jungkook said, and Taehyung wrapped his lips around his cock, making him hum in delight.

"Fuck-" Jungkook let out, feeling Taehyung's warm lips moving down his length. "Yeah- t-that's it-"

Taehyung kept going, and Jungkook kept hitching moans, until Taehyung gagged, having taken him fully. Jungkook reached his hand back. "Of course you can deep-throat," Jungkook smirked, and then Taehyung looked up at him, pretty plump lips wrapped around Jungkook's cock.

"Well if you've done this before, I'm sure you wouldn't mind-" Jungkook said, and then grabbed Taehyung by the back of his silver hair and bucked his hips in, making Taehyung gag a little more, and then moan around his cock.

Taehyung grabbed his ass, and Jungkook felt his longer fingers squeezing it. Jungkook shivered a little, tingles running down his spine. He continued fucking Taehyung's mouth for a good minute or two- until he was closing his eyes, gripping his hair tightly.

"T-Tae I'm gonna cum-" Jungkook said, and Taehyung slapped his ass, making Jungkook buck his hips in. "Ah-" Jungkook let out, and then came, spurting ribbons down Taehyung's throat.

Taehyung pulled away, breathing heavily, a clear tent in his sweats. "Did I say you could fuck my throat?"

Jungkook smirked. "Sorry. Couldn't hear you with my cock in your mouth." Jungkook said, and Taehyung stood up, shaking his head.

"Brat." Taehyung said, slapping his ass again. Jungkook slapped his hand away, glaring playfully. Taehyung just pinned him against the wall and grabbed his ass with his other hand.

"T-Taehyung.." Jungkook let out, and Taehyung smirked. "What? S'there something you wanna say to me?" Taehyung husked, and Jungkook shook his head, eyes big.

"Then get on your knees and suck my dick." Taehyung snapped, and Jungkook got down on his knees while huffing.

"No need to be mean about it, jeez." Jungkook mumbled in a small voice, and then Taehyung pulled his sweats down till his thighs, and then let his cock spring free.

"Go slow." Jungkook said, and then opened his mouth.

Taehyung looked at him. Jungkook looked back up with his mouth wide open. They stared at each other for like, 12 seconds.

"Oh am I supposed to start-" Jungkook started, and Taehyung rolled his eyes with a sigh. "Sorry, sorry-" Jungkook giggled, and then wrapped his hand around the base of Taehyung's cock.

He wrapped his lips around the head, sucking on the member with blue and silver veins running through it. Jungkook heard Taehyung moans, so he kept going, bobbing his head back and forth while going deeper, taking him deeper and deeper, and then-

Jungkook gagged, he felt his cock hit the back of his throat. Jungkook opened his eyes, and then heard Taehyung snicker.

"Can't even take my whole cock, can you, Cherry?" Taehyung said, and Jungkook saw that he only had half (or less) of Taehyung's dick in his mouth, yet he was already gagging. He tried going further, and felt tears spring in his eyes, feeling himself choking.

Taehyung gripped his hair and pulled him back a little, and just started fucking into his mouth lightly, not pushing all the way in. "Jack me off." Taehyung ordered, and Jungkook wrapped his hand around the part of his cock he couldn't wrap his small little mouth around, and started moving it up and down.

This kept going for minutes, until Jungkook felt his mouth sore, looking up at Taehyung and going limp. He saw Taehyung with his head tipped back, just moving Jungkook's head back and forth.

"I-I'm-" Taehyung started softly, but Jungkook didn't hear him, so he pulled his lips off Taehyung's cock to complain. "Tae you're taking too long-"

Suddenly, Taehyung came. He looked down, eyes going big in haste, and Jungkook just gasped, silver cum splashing onto his face.

There was lots, so Jungkook quickly wrapped his lips around his cock, and felt his cum go down his throat.

Jungkook gasped. It tasted like white chocolate.

Jungkook took in more of Taehyung's cock, trying to get all of his cum down his throat, feeling bad that he wasted any of it on his face. Fuck, it genuinely tasted so good, that even when Taehyung was done cumming, Jungkook was lapping it up, smacking his lips.

"What the fuck.." Taehyung said, and Jungkook gulped, looking up.

"It tastes like white chocolate!" Jungkook sprung, eyes big, smile reaching his face.

"No it doesn't, what the fuck-" Taehyung started, and then froze.

Jungkook frowned. "What's wrong?" Jungkook asked, looking up at him. Taehyung seemed to go a little pale. "Tae, are you okay?"

"Oh." Taehyung let out, and then stepped back. "I-I.. I need to go." Taehyung said, and Jungkook tilted his head.

"W-was it something I said?" Jungkook asked in confusion, and Taehyung took a step back, pulling his sweats up in a haste.

He looked around, realising he was in his own room, and then looked at Jungkook. "Get out."

Jungkook's eyes grew big. "W-what? What happened?" Jungkook asked, standing up. Taehyung looked disheveled, really, really flustered and confused himself. A little.. upset and shocked?

Taehyung placed his hand on Jungkook's bare back and pushed him out the room. "Tae- what's going on?"

"Nothing, Jungkook. Just- I need to be alone right now." Taehyung snapped, and Jungkook's breath hitched.

"M-my boxers-" Jungkook squeaked, but then Taehyung slammed the door shut.

Jungkook stood there naked outside Taehyung's room, really confused, and then huffed. He kicked his door, turned around, and walked into his own room, making sure to slam the door shut as well.

✫  ✬  ✭  ✬  ✫

https://jeontaeh.tumblr.com/post/647227667856424960/thirteen%C2%B9%C2%B3

[brehacrgana]

just watched TROS and i have NO WORDS... (except i also have many). what was that

at about half of the movie one guy stood up, put on his jacket and left...I don’t think he was wrong

spoilers below (the bad and the good - however little that might be). please come to talk if you’ve seen the movie

first of all...WHAT THE FUCK. what the fuck...i sat through the movie and i had to laugh at times because whatever was happening was so absurd shit i couldn’t even imagine. at other times i just sat with my mouth open and could not believe they really went there...it was that bad. how in the world is this the end of star wars

the way the movie started... in the title sequence...”THE DEAD SPEAK” lol. palpantine’s return or whatever shit announced immediatly (which i didn’t expect would happen); then the first scene of kylo ren in slo-mo killing some random people (literally who was that) in some woods and then finding palpantine’s cave or something where palps told him “hurr hurr i created snoke...i was every voice in your head...kill the girl” - sir how are you even alive. i literally don’t remember if this was explained in the movie and i don’t think so

rey - jesus christ. girl. i don’t know what they did to her character. but anyway. in the beginning of the movie leia did some jedi training with rey and i loved that...especially when rey adressed leia with “master”! but in the start of that scene rey was flying in the air while doing some meditation and that was absurd imo / i laughed lol. then kylo ren showed up because of that force bond shit and rey messed up her training which sucked

nice scene: finn and poe returning from some mission and meeting/reuniting with rey on the rebellion’s home base - rey and poe bickered a bit, rey and finn hugged...i liked that

rey finn and poe and chewie went to a desert planet where some party was going on. nice scene: rey talked to an alien being there and it was a cute, nice interaction that would have been heartwarming

lando shows up, points them to some cave, where a big snake or something was which had an injury lol...rey gave it some life power through the force  and healed it. LOL: foreshadowing...

kylo ren and the knights of ren (lol who are they even) show up on that planet. while the others try to make a ship ready to leave, rey (why...) goes and stands in the middle of the desert waiting for kyle ron to show up or whatever. he does of course and races at her with his ship, she does that jump from the trailer and cuts his ship in half. it crashes and explodes. no, kylo somehow doesn’t die from that. meanwhile poe and finn told chewie to get rey bc they have to leave (knights of ren approaching), but while rey is busy doing whatever the fuck that was, chewie gets captured by some stormtroopers and is led on their transport ship. it takes off. finn screams to rey “they have chewie” and rey uses the force to try and drag that ship back to the ground...kylo emerges and also uses the force on that ship, and they have a force battle until rey does palpantine style force lightning on that ship. it completely explodes. everyone thinks chewie is dead. i was really horrified, not gonna lie, like rey...

but lol. SOMEHOW chewie was on another transport ship (lol???? where was that) and is alive after all. they go to rescue him. while they fly to the stardestroyer where chewie is being kept prisoner, rey says that “yada yada people say they know me but nobody does” to finn and it is awful... arrived on the star destroyer, finn and poe want to free chewie, while rey fucks off to do her own thing and go to kylo’s quarters. force bond kylo appears, they fight blabla, he tells her...

“oh you wanted to take my hand, i kNoW YoU you’re a palpatine, he was your grandfather” ................................................ i read the spoilers so i knew this was gonna come, but seriously???? what a crack fucking theory. REY PALPANTINE!  I QUIT!!!

flashback to rey’s parents who look like nice people who tried to protect her by leaving her on jakku. palps killed them after they didn’t tell him where rey was

meanwhile finn poe and chewie are captured, stormtrooppers are going to execute them. then hux steps in hilariously, kills the stormtroopers, and is like “i’m the spy for the rebellion.” i laughed

who is zorii...or whatever her name was.

the trio gang goes to that planet where the remains of the death star are...they meet a group of horse riders, one of them jannah. i loved her! i really did. she was one of the bright spots for me in that shitshow. her and finn talk, she also used to be a stormtrooper and has the same story as finn

also Finn was shown very clearly to be force sensitive! loved that

rey does another solo trip and goes to the remains of the death star...where she meets dark!rey which was hilarious and absurd. they fight and at one point dark!rey hissed and bared her teeth at rey - i actually scream laughed

well then kylo ron came to that planet, the water fight scene happened, and actually rey fucking killed him!!! he died! cut to leia. she says “ben” and then somehow just actually dies too. seriously. just like that. FROM WHAT???

anyway rey feels that leia has died and lol idk she’s like oh know and resurrects kylo with the force. yeah. lol. she’s then like “yeah i did want to take your hand...ben’s hand” and cries and leaves

really...who is ben. why do you care. what

on the rebellion base people are gathered around leia’s dead body and i don’t remember her name, but lupita nyongos character say “farewell, dear princess” and that almost made me cry

back to kylo. he’s looking at the ocean in contemplation. suddenly a voice behind him says “hey, kid”. he turns around and it’s han fucking solo. LOL

they basically play out the same scene as in tfa just before kylo killed han except this time he doesn’t. han says kylo ron died and kylo yeets his lightsaber into the water.

ok, another hilarious absurd scene: rey goes to luke’s exile planet and sets kylo’s ship (which she took to fly there) on fire. she’s throwing the lightsaber in the flames but oh! a hand yeets out of the flames! it’s force ghost luke who caught the saber and is like oh you should be more careful with a jedi’s weapon.

luke then shows her LEIA’S LIGHTSABER and there’s a flashback scene of LEIA AND LUKE DOING JEDI TRAINING !!!! a good part of the movie

rey takes both lightsabers and flies to palpantine’s planet. she meets him in his cave. palps does he’s usual unimaginable power shit...”i want you to kill me...then my soul will go over to you and all the siths that have ever been will live in you”. whatever

“ben” also shows up of course, he kills the kights of ren with the lightsaber that was magically teleported to him by rey i guess

rey and “ben” face palps together. he is like oh your bond is so strong, let me take all your energy...very reminiscent of dementor’s in harry potter movies sucking out their souls lol. they drop to the ground, unconscious. palps lifts “ben” up and yeets him into a big abyss.

there was a nice scene in between of poe grieving for leia and saying he doesn’t know what to do/how they can make it, but then lando shows up and they talk about how lando and the old trio back in the day didn’t know how to make it either, but they still tried etc. and made it

ok another nice scene: while palps is doing super force lightning to destroy the rebel fleet or whatever, rey is on the ground gatherig strength and she hears the voices of old jedi masters...obi wan! anakin i’m pretty sure also!

then there’s a nice shot of her standing up and facing the emperor with lightsaber in hand.

she kills him, but dies doing it.

but wait lol...”ben” somehow crawls back out of that abyss to cry over her dead body. he also revives her with force power. they look at each other sappily and kiss.......no words. they fucking really went there

actually when that happened the people in the cinema made a lot of sounds, some said ew lmao others just laughed

then “ben” dies for good lol. people scream laughed

in the end there was a nice rebellion victory celebration scene, i always like scenes like that

rey goes to tattoine and buries the lightsabers of luke and leia who show up via force ghost. somehow rey then has a yellow lightsaber in her hand. some old woman comes along and asks who are you? rey says...i’m rey.....skywalker and then watches the sunset. the end.

in spoilers i read it was said that rey says she feels incomplete without kylo and goes to live on tattoine alone for the rest of her life. maybe i blacked out and didn’t get that, but i did not see it. it did not happen, right?

when the movie ended some people in the cinema actually started clapping.

lol. i don’t know what that was...yeah it had some good moments, but it really was the worts star wars movie of all times for me. it was wild and absurd and stupid as fuck and i am so, so disappointed. TFA i loved, there was so much potential there...but then tlj happened and somehow tros eneded up even worse than that. i don’t know what the worst part for me was, rey palpantine, leia’s death in that manner, reylo... it was a mess. it actually makes me really sad. bye felicia

[woofools]

Years ago I had a creative writing assignment while I was neck-deep in a Yin Yang Yo! hyperfixation, so I basically lifted a bunch of characters from the show, put them in a human AU setting, and changed their names.

BUT, I was talking with @yuckisalesbian, who was like “hey I’d read that!” This one’s for you, pal.

So here it is! A (sort of, very very loose) human/modern day AU! (Names changed back for clarity.)

Please be merciful this was written a while ago, as I’ve said. Beware of swears.

There was a series of crashes and the sound of glass breaking, then a muffled glugging noise. A pause, then, in unison,

“We’re so dead.”

Yo didn’t move from his spot in bed. He wasn’t sure of the exact time (checking it would require moving), but he was sure that it was too early for this shit. He entertained the thought of ignoring the sounds of rising calamity and just dropping back off to sleep, but then the smoke alarm went off. Regretfully, he had to let the fantasy of further sleep drop back to the hopeful abyss it’d sprung from. The noise, if nothing else, would keep him awake.

He still didn’t move, though.

There was the sound of feet approaching at a semi-frantic clip, and then he heard his door being thrown open.

“Heeeeeyyy, Yo, buddy, you awake?”

It was Yang. Yo grunted.

“Cool, that’s cool, so um, hey! Quick, completely random question that has absolutely nothing to do with our current situation: where do we keep the fire extinguisher?”

Yo heard Yin frantically yelling for her brother from the kitchen, and grumbled, “Back of the closet.”

“YANG!!”

“’KaycoolthanksYobye!”

And with that, his door slammed shut.

Yo stayed where he was for another thirty seconds, this time trying to convince himself that two twelve-year-olds could absolutely handle a fire on their own. Absolutely. In no way did they require his help. None at all.

Yang was distantly yelling, “How do you work this thing?!” as Yin screamed, “Squeeze it! Squeeze it!”

Yo groaned into his pillow, and pushed himself upright.

*****

An hour later, after the fire had been put out, the shards of dishware had been disposed of, and the half-gallon of milk had been mopped off the floor, the three of them sat on the sofa eating cereal out of pans (all the other bowl-like instruments were either broken or dirty). The twins kept glancing at each other. Yo braced himself.

Sure enough, after a minute or so of mental-twin-communication – or whatever the hell he was witnessing – Yang began, “So hey, Yo—”

“No,” he said through a mouthful of cereal.

Yin sputtered. “We haven’t even asked you anything yet!”

“Still no.”

Yang stuck his lip out. “Why not?”

Yo gave him an unimpressed, annoyed look. “Because I have to buy a new microwave.”

Both twins deflated.

“We were trying to make you breakfast,” Yin offered meekly.

“So you could butter me up for whatever you’re trying to ask for? Stick to something noncombustible next time.”

He watched the pair deflate further, staring dolefully into the last dregs of their cereal. Ah, and there was the guilt, right on schedule. Which he felt was (mostly) unfounded; he was fairly certain they weren’t as broken up as they were pretending to be, anyway.

And yet, here he was, falling for it.

“What were you gonna ask me?” he half-groaned.

The fact that they both instantly perked up only added to his “they’re just putting it on” –theory.

Yin began, “So our school’s hosting this thing—”

“—it’s kind of like a talent show—” Yang threw in.

“—and we signed up for it—”

“—because who’s more talented than us?—”

“And families and stuff can come to watch—”

“Yo, you have to come watch us!”

“Come see us do our bit pleasepleaseplease!”

They said all this very fast, and at roughly the same time. Yo reeled.

“…Lemme get this straight,” he said slowly. “You two were planning to bribe me into coming to see your school thing?”

“Yeah.”

“Pretty much.”

“Which won’t actually cost me anything other than my time?” Yo went on.

“Uh… yes?”

“Is that a trick question?”

Yo wasn’t sure what to make of the outrageously hopeful faces boring into his soul. “That’s… that’s not something that needs bribing…”

“That mean you’ll come?” they asked in unison.

“I– yeah, knuckleheads, that means I’ll come.”

He rode out the mini-explosion of joy and excitement by grumbling that this was probably the stupidest reason they’d had to date for inadvertently destroying his kitchen.

*****

The twins left for a nearby park shortly after finishing their cereal, claiming they needed to go practice their act. They refused to tell him what the act was exactly, because for some reason kids relished the idea of surprises. Yo, who was old, took surprises with a mixture of apprehension and distaste. But it was making them happier than he’d seen thus far, so alright, fine, whatever. “Surprise” it was.

Yo was grudgingly heading out to Sears to pick up a new microwave. Microwavable meals had been the majority of what they’d been living on, so not having a usable one around the apartment would only make life that much more difficult. As the “adult” it was his sad duty to put aside his plans for the day to go get one. As compensation, he decided that this meant that there were two kids who wouldn’t be getting an allowance for the next three months. He hadn’t bothered to mention that to them yet. That should be a fun conversation.

He stood waiting for the elevator, absently swinging his keys, when a voice down the hall suddenly decided to take a metaphorical cheese grater to his eardrums:

“Yo? That you down there? Oooh how’ve you been? I haven’t seen you in ages!”

He heard the woman shuffling down the hall towards him, and weighed the merits of pretending to have a heart attack and die. She linked arms with him before he could make up his mind.

“Hello Edna,” he said stiffly instead.

“Oh, Yo, it’s so good to see you, I was getting so worried! I never see you out and about lately, and whenever I go to check on you, you aren’t home!”

“Really? Huh. What a strange and completely unintentional happenstance.”

“I told my Herman— I said, ‘Herman, if poor Yo doesn’t show up soon, I’m going to need you to do something Herman!’ And d’y’know what he said? He said, ‘Yes Mother!’ He’s such a good boy, my Herman, he was worried about you too—”

“Interesting,” Yo grumbled, internally demanding God tell him why the elevator was taking so long.

“So you gonna to tell me where you been? Where you going now?”

Not seeing a way out, Yo said, “I have to go get a new microwave.”

“Really?! Why’s that?”

The elevator doors finally opened, but just as Yo was about to (happily) excuse himself, he realized what had taken it so long in the first place: a couple of guys were trying to move a couch. How they’d managed to cram the thing in there was a mystery to Yo, but now it seemed to be his unhappy privilege to get to watch them try to wriggle it out.

Despondently, he replied, “Kids blew up the old one.”

“Oh yeah, you’ve got those kids living with you now…” Edna’s grip on his arm suddenly got a little tighter. “So, what are they anyway? Niece and nephew? Second cousins?”

“Uh… no? They’re… y’know, mine.”

“Really.” Unless he was imagining things, her tone had iced over just a touch. “Adopted?”

“…Yes and no…”

“What?”

This was undeniably the last thing Yo wanted to be talking about right now. But then, talking to Edna was undeniably the last thing he wanted to be doing period, so in a way it kind of fit. “They’re my real kids – biologically, I mean – but I’ve only really been their ‘parent’ since last year.”

“Ah. And the mother?”

“Gone.” And fuck you Edna, because that was all he was saying on the matter.

But apparently that was good enough for her, because all she said was “I see,” and then resumed snuggling into his arm, warm and bubbly as ever. “I’ll bet she just took the kids and ran, didn’t she? How horrible for you! Well, I guess she got her just desserts, isn’t that right Yo? And now you have your precious little babies back!”

Yo didn’t say anything this time. He was too busy trying to convince himself that it was indeed a real person hanging off him, not some cartoon escaped from a kids’ show.

“But you said they blew up your microwave? That must be something they picked up from their mother’s side, I’ll bet you any money— Y’know Yo, if you want, I could send Herman over to talk to them for you— OOH! We could have a family dinner together! The three of you could come by tonight, I’ll make my famous creamed pork just for the occasion—”

The guys had finally freed the couch, thank Jesus. Swiftly untangling himself, Yo said, “Sorry, I’ve got plans,” and practically leapt into the elevator. The last thing he saw as the doors closed was Edna looking as though she’d just had her favorite treat snatched out from under her nose. Sighing in relief, he slumped against the back wall of the elevator.

He’d made a solemn promise to himself that the only way he’d ever have dinner with Edna Laskey was if someone’s life hung in the balance. He had no intention of breaking that promise today.

*****

Yang stuck the landing from his jump off the monkey bars, then spun around to face his sister, arms outstretched in showmanship. Yin nodded, smiling.

“Nice. I still think we should have some streamers though…”

Yang made a face. “We don’t need any stupid streamers, Yin. The act’s fine the way it is.”

“Says the guy who wanted to use rocket packs…”

“It would’ve been cool!”

“Uh-huh. Tell me again, where did you think we were going to get the rocket packs?” Yin asked, head tilted challengingly.

Yang pouted, and didn’t answer.

“I rest my case.”

“…still would’ve been cool…”

“Still would’ve been completely impossible, meathead.”

Yang stuck out his tongue, and his sister returned the gesture. Then his face lit up.

“Okay wait hold on… If we did use streamers—” (Yin squealed,) “—Lemme finish. If we used streamers, then could we also add some fight moves?”

Yin suddenly looked much less enthused. “‘Fight moves’?”

“Yeah, like karate kicks and stuff. We could throw ‘em in at the end.” Yang took the opportunity to display his karate-kicking prowess, with copious amounts of “hi-yah!”s and “chee-hoo-wah!”s for good measure. With a final, vicious kick, his sneaker went flying off.

“Nice going, dork-butt,” Yin said dully as she watched the shoe fly through the air.

The park they were in was, unfortunately, at the top of a high hill. At the bottom, there was a Walgreens and an attached parking lot. The twins watched the shoe plummet from the sky before rolling down the hill, right underneath the maroon Impala parked at the edge of the lot.

“Aw crud,” Yang groaned, stalking down the hill. His sister hopped up from where she sat and trailed after him, snickering.

Upon reaching the car, Yang ducked down and stretched his arm as far as he could. Which, since he was a twelve-year-old, wasn’t very far at all.

“I can’t get it,” he grunted. “Can you reach it from the other side?”

Yin circled around the car and imitated her brother’s actions, with similar results. “Nope,” she called back. “Try crawling under on your stomach.”

Yang grumbled irritably to himself, but nonetheless dropped to his stomach and began trying to worm his way under the car. Yin straightened up, using the door handle as leverage.

The door opened.

Yin stumbled, landing hard on her rear. A chunky Manilla envelope fell from the car and landed in her lap.

“What’re you doing?” Yang asked from under the car.

“The– the door opened.”

She heard rapid shuffling from under the car. Seconds later her brother came from around the front, hopping on one foot as he tried to tug his sneaker back on. By that point she’d already gotten to her feet, and was just about to toss the envelope back into the car and slam the door.

“What’s this?” Yang asked, plucking the envelope from her hand.

“It fell out of the car,” she said, trying to snatch it back. Yang dodged her hand and retreated several paces.

“Whatcha think’s in here?” he asked, holding it up to the light as if trying to see through it.

“It doesn’t matter dorkasaurus, it’s not ours! Give it back!”

“Lighten up dorkasaurus-rex,” he said, lifting the metal tab, “I’m not gonna hurt it.”

“Yang, don’t—!” but he’d already lifted the flap.

“Holy—”

Yin moved to her brother’s side and peeked into the envelope he was holding. Her jaw went slack.

The envelope was filled with thick rolls of hundred dollar bills.

“Put it back, Yang,” Yin begged. “If the owner comes back and catches us holding this—”

Yang hastily resealed the envelope and lobbed it back into the car. It landed in the center of the bench seat in the back, on top of a pile of blankets that had been heaped there. Yin could also see what looked like a champagne glass full of water (??) in the cup holder, and several journals strewn about the floor. As she wondered what any of these things were doing in the back of an Impala, she noticed, through a crack in the blankets—

She screamed and grabbed her brother’s wrist, dragging him back up the hill as fast as she could manage and ignoring his alarmed questions.

As she’d looked at the pile of blankets, she’d seen an eye looking back.

*****

Yo didn’t know up from down when it came to appliances, so after thirty minutes of futilely trying to compare microwaves against each other, he broke down and just bought the cheapest one they offered. As he exited the store with the box under his arm, he felt his cell buzz insistently in his pocket. The ID read “yin.”

“Y’ello?”

Of all the things he could have possibly expected to hear on the other end of the line, frantic, hysterical sobbing wasn’t on the list.

“Yin?”

She was saying something, repeating it over and over, but he’d be damned if he could pull a single legible word from the mess.

“Yin? Yin, you gotta calm down, what happened? Yin—?”

Yin gave a sudden loud exclamation, there was a sharp sound he couldn’t quite place, then silence.

“Yin…?”

For a horrible second, Yo thought the call had gotten dropped. But there was what sounded like shuffling from the other end; was that someone messing with the phone, or some kind of weird feedback? Then, a distant, very male, very adult voice said,

“That just won’t do, now will it?”

The line went dead.

*****

The cop had a bristly blonde mustache that hovered over the stubble covering the rest of his chin. His paunch threatened the integrity of his shirt’s buttons, and he had sweat stains under his arms. He paced absently in front of Yo while his partner sat off to the side behind a table, watching them. After another moment of silence, the mustached cop said, “Tell me what happened one more time.”

Yo’s fists clenched involuntarily, but he steadied himself with a deep breath. “I woke up this morning to a lot of noise because my kids had accidentally blown up the microwave—”

“No,” interrupted the cop, “from the beginning.”

Yo faltered. “That– That is the—”

“Where’d you get the kids in the first place?” the cop’s partner specified, the fluorescent lights creating a shining spot on his balding head.

“From… Their Mom went missing a year ago—”

“And what was your relationship to her?” asked the first cop, who was now standing directly in front of Yo, staring down at him.

Yo shifted a bit in his uncomfortable plastic seat. “Is there a professional way to say ‘one-night stand’?”

“Did you know your ‘one-night stand’ had gotten pregnant as a result of that night?” Mustache asked.

“…yeah. She told me.”

“But you didn’t want kids, did you?” asked Mustache, sneering.

Taken aback by the cop’s sudden hostility, Yo blurted, “What does this have to do with—?”

“Answer the question,” Baldy interjected.

Yo was quiet for a second, feeling suddenly disoriented. Eventually, he managed to grind out the half-lie, “No. Not at the time.”

Mustachio looked grimly triumphant. The queasy feeling Yo had gotten when he’d first heard Yin sobbing over the phone now had company: a twitching, pulsating kind of foreboding. He was having a harder time working out the origin of this new feeling, though.

“Keep going,” Mustache pressed (though Yo was starting to realize he most likely knew all this already). “How did you end up taking care of the kids you’d previously abandoned?”

“Their Mom had gone missing, and there was no one else to look after them,” Yo said, feeling like a child being grilled by a particularly sadistic teacher.

“So she did,” said Mustache, now falling heavily into the seat in front of Yo. “We had a look at the file before we brought you in, didn’t we Brian?”

Baldy nodded, producing a folder from somewhere underneath the desk and handing it to his partner. Mustache casually flipped through the papers inside.

“Mom was supposed to pick the kids up from school. Never showed. They had to walk home. Called the police four days later when she still didn’t show up. Kids didn’t have anyone else to stay with, so they briefly went into foster care. You, Mr. Yo,” the cop’s eyes darted up to observe Yo briefly, “were on their birth certificates as their biological father, so you were contacted. You showed up, the situation was explained, and after all the legal issues were ironed out, the kids were packed off to live with you. That sound about right?”

The cop’s steadfast refusal to focus on the fact that two children had just been abducted in favor of rehashing a year-old case made Yo’s frustration (and phantom sense of dread) increase by a factor of five. He nodded stiffly and hoped he would get to the point.

Mustache carelessly tossed the folder back onto the desk and pushed himself out of his chair. “Kind of suspicious that both your kids and their mom would inexplicably go missing, don’t you think? Especially only about a year apart from each other…”

He resumed his pacing, speaking almost thoughtfully. “Here’s what I think happened: I don’t think you planned on so much as calling this woman after you were done with her, so when she calls you saying she’s pregnant, you panic and hit the bricks. Years down the road, she tracks you down. Maybe she’s in desperate need of money. Maybe she just wants you to finally do right by your kids. Doesn’t really matter the reason; you want nothing to do with it. Angry accident or preplanned move, one way or another that girl ends up dead.

“I don’t know how or where you got rid of the body; that’s an issue for another day. Bottom line is you thought that was the end of things. But then you get the call. They tracked you down. There’s no one else to pawn the kids off on. And you don’t like that.

“Now the story as I see it can go one of two ways at this point: either you’d decided before they’d even moved in that they wouldn’t be staying with you for long, or you’d tolerated them until they made your microwave go bang, and then that set you off. Either way, you decided to do exactly what you did the last time you had a problem you couldn’t get rid of. Isn’t that right?”

The cop was staring at him with savage triumph, every inch the person who thought they’d seen through and dismantled a cunning ruse. Yo stared back in dumbstruck silence. He understood the foreboding he felt now, and understanding only made it stronger.

The police thought he was responsible for the disappearance of his children.

They weren’t going to help him.

*****

It was 2:00 am before the police finally let him leave. They didn’t have enough evidence to hold him, so when hours of trying to bully a confession out of him didn’t work, they let him go with a warning not to leave town and the promise/threat that they’d be in touch. By the time Yo got back to his darkened apartment, he was so numb that a faraway part of his consciousness questioned if he was still even a real person at all.

He closed the apartment door behind him, but paused as he went to lock it. Slowly, he removed his hand from the latch. He went to walk away, but stopped as he got to the corner of the hallway leading to the bedrooms, looking back at the door.

Sliding against the wall, he sat down on the floor and stared at the door.

He sat there for hours trying to convince himself they wouldn’t be coming back through it. He didn’t listen.

*****

Yin was sitting on the couch, trying to read a book. Yang was also sitting on the couch, trying to annoy her by imitating various bodily functions. Usually the twins’ squabbling set him on edge, but right at that moment Yo couldn’t have cared less. They were home, bickering like they always did, unhurt and whole. They both went silent when he hugged them, but then Yo wasn’t normally a hugger, so their surprise was justified. He suspected he’d be doing a lot more of it from this point on though, if he ever let go of them to begin with—

The phone rang.

Yo jolted slightly, and looked around, disoriented and groggy. He was on the floor, slumped against the wall facing the door of the apartment. Where had the twins gone? They’d been here, he’d felt the weight of them in his arms, heard their voices, they’d been here—

He stood up, head sent spinning, and stumbled down the hall. They’d gone to their room. They were just in their room. He ignored the phone.

Yin’s bed was neatly made, while Yang’s merely had its blankets haphazardly thrown back up over the bed. But they weren’t there.

Reality came smashing back down on his head. They weren’t there. They hadn’t been there all night. He didn’t know where they were.

The phone rang and rang in the background. Yo made no move to answer it. Eventually, it went silent. They weren’t there.

Haltingly, he pried himself away from the doorway. He wondered, dully, distantly, what he should do with himself now. The question was met with an agonizing barrage of white noise.

The phone rang again.

Yo stared at it for a couple of seconds before slowly reaching over and lifting the phone from the charger. He answered it with nothing more than a small “hm?”

“Took you long enough,” snapped the person on the other end. For a moment the white noise returned to completely consume the scope of Yo’s thoughts, and then he was white-knuckling the phone as he held it to his ear, eyes wide. The voice on the other end of the phone was the same one he’d heard when Yin and Yang had gone missing.

“You’ve misplaced a pair of things, correct? Did you know to find things you’ve lost, sometimes it helps to retrace your steps back from the place you lost them?” The voice paused. “In case you happen to be a complete imbecile, be at the park in twenty minutes. If you’re late or bring anyone with you, we won’t be speaking.”

They hung up before Yo could get a word in.

[tippitv]

RECAP: Supernatural 15.03 “The Rupture”

Watching episode three and I finally understand the warding logistics better now. Note that just because I understand it better doesn’t mean I think it makes any kind of sense.

So it seems the “mile wide salt circle” encompasses both the town and the cemetery. Like the entire town and entire cemetery and the space in between them is somehow less than a mile wide as seen in the shitty map I made in MS paint last week.  

This is poppycock of course. It’s also bizarre that somehow all these demons and ghosts didn’t manage to spread any further out than that in the hours in took the Winchesters et al to evacuate the town and for Belphegor to perform the spell.

I’m so distracted by this that it’s hard for me to suspend my disbelief.

Rowena tries to reinforce the warding but there are too many ghosts attacking it. More ghosts keep spewing out of the ground. I think it’s weird that Hell is an actual physical place somewhere under the Earth’s crust while Heaven seems to be some kind of otherworldly dimension that looks like an Apple store.

Rowena’s feeling very defeated. Ruth Connell is doing a much better job than the crummy ghosts we've seen so far would seem to warrant. Her acting makes them seem scary and the situation desperate, whereas the writing for the actual ghost characters is...meh. Dean wants to go fight the ghosts but like… there’s really nothing to be done. Shooting them with iron or rock salt only works for a few minutes at most. To make any dent, you'd need all the salt in the Hannibal fandom after NBC canceled it. Shout out to my Fannibals!

I still think somebody needs to be thinking about contacting Billie. Reapers take souls to their great reward or their eternal punishment, I feel like they’d have some useful input. Plus I just want to see Billie again because Lisa Berry is dreamy.

Also Belphegor is such a weaselly jerk about the whole thing. I won't miss that guy. He's the Martin Shkrelli of demons. Shout out to everyone who hates jacked up pharmaceutical prices!

Sam says they're out of ideas. That's because y'all haven't sat around reading books out loud to each other for half an episode! 

Jack mentions something called "Lilith's Crook." Ah, Martin Shkrelli again. He has to explain it's that curved stick thing shepherds use while everyone is being ignorant. "Thing's actually more of a horn," he says. She designed it to control demons on Earth while she was in Hell. You'd think that kind of thing would've come up when Lilith was topside but no! Also there really should've been a call back to that. "You know Lilith... you killed her to let Lucifer out?" That kind of thing.

They work out a plan for Belph to summon the demons and ghosts back to Hell and the Rowena can heal the big spewing fistula in the earth. She wants Sam to assist her, which makes me

Dean coolly volunteers Castiel to accompany Belph. "You've been to Hell before." Cas should've been like, "Yeah to grip your ass tight and raise it from Perdition!" Also how's he supposed to get out again?

Aw jeez here's Ketch in his hospital room. I hope the only reason he's in this episode is to die. The nurse doesn't want to clear him for discharge so a pretty doctor walks in and kills her with a telekinetic neck snap. And that's why we have a nursing shortage in this country! Oh the doctor is Ardat, the demon who hired Ketch to kill Belph.

Fisticuffs ensue even though she could just pin him in place with demonic power. When he refuses to give up the Winchesters, she rips out his heart and shows it to him. He Pikachu faces at her.

I mean, did she really need to ask him? Wouldn't the most likely place be the mile-wide anti-ghost dome? She texts Dean pretending to be Ketch.

Belphegor goads Castiel about his friends sacrificing him, so Cas pushes him down into the ghost fistula. Lol. It doesn't shut him up for long, though. As they wander around Hell, Belph continues to sow the seeds of doubt. Anyway, opening the chest that contains the Doohickey of the Week requires Castiel to sing an Enochian song of praise, but we cut away on the third note. BOO.

Also, having now met Lucifer the whiny petulant manbaby, it's really hard to understand why Lilith or anyone would be so devout for so long. Maybe it's because he was locked in the cage so they didn't actually experience a lot of his pouting. It's all I can think of.

Before Castiel can hand over the Doohickey, Ardat knocks him out of the way. She looks like Joanna Gaines. Maybe she IS Joanna Gaines!

Castiel and Ardat fight. She tries to warn him about Belphegor, but he pops up behind her and kills her with Cas's fallen angel blade. Now we'll never know what she was gonna say! I bet he ends up just blabbing it out himself in the time-honored tradition of villains talking too much.

Indeed, he goes on about how the crook/horn is actually a leash/siphon. This thing is the Swiss Army knife of Doohickeys. He's going to blow the horn and suck all the demons and ghosts into himself to gain their powers. "I'll be a god!"

So while Belph is blowing and sucking, Sam and Rowena and Dean are dirtside working the spell. Ghosts are zooming back down the hole like the Indiana Jones Ark of the Covenant scene in reverse. Castiel tackles Belph and punches him in the face a lot which seems like the equivalent of flicking a dandelion at a law mower to stop it.

Improbably, it hurts jazzed-up Belphegor enough that he pretends to be Jack again to get Cas to stop beating him. Castiel screws up all his angel power and somehow kills him even though there's a buttload of evil spirits in him. Jack's empty body burns like a Thanksgiving turkey left on broil all day.

The ground starts sealing up but something's wrong. Rowena uses a knife to gouge out a "resurrection sachet" she's been keeping buried under her skin. It's why she came back after Lucifer killed her, if you'll recall. It takes Sam a minute to catch on that she intends to sacrifice herself in one final spell. He has to be the one to kill her because prophecy and she can't bring herself to to it for a lot of good reasons.

Now, I don't understand here. She says she's going to absorb all the demons and ghosts, throw herself into Hell, and they'll be trapped. But... didn't Belphegor absorb them? Or a lot of them? I hate that Ruth is doing such a great job and this just feels like forced drama.

Speaking of forced drama. Castiel returns to the surface and tells Dean he killed Belphegor. This could be cleared up with a five second explanation but he makes a lot of pained faces while Dean berates him for ruining their one chance. Forced drama.

Sam reluctantly stabs her in the lower belly... you know, in the uterus area... and she becomes a vessel... with her uterus absorbing all the evil...

"Goodbye boys," she says as she Last of the Mohicans throws herself into the abyss.

Well, it's better than Charlie's death but I still don't like it.

All the surviving team members return to the bunker for the denouement. Sam is taking things pretty hard, which is to be expected, so Dean goes to check on him. "God threw one last apocalypse at us and we beat it," he says to baby bro. Oh honey.

Anyway we're all pretty sure Rowena's going to be running Hell now, right? RIGHT??

Now we come to the part where Dean and Castiel act out a bad soap opera scene. It's just a thin reason to get them to break up for a while. Maybe in the final season they couldn't work Misha into the budget for every episode or maybe the writers couldn't think of more for Castiel to do. So he's gotta go off and it couldn't just be because "you know my surrogate son just died and I need time." 

No it's gotta be all "you always screw up our plans!" and "you don't trust me!" and "are you hearing that romantically sad cello music or is it just me?" and "it's not just you but now I must leave GOOD BYE!"

Onward and upward, readers! Stay tuned for the next recap.

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