#anyway i better stop vagueposting

[catboyolli]

🌠

[celestial-toys]

been laying here listening to Lucky by Dermot Kennedy on loop for half an hour while thinking about Everything Stays and crying

[snixx]

okayyy i see how it is you're allowed to make a kms joke at every minor inconvenience but when I call everyone and everything my beloved or the love of my life after knowing them for 0.2 seconds I'm "needlessly dramatic"? pfft

[ritzcrackerswgooglyeyes]

Mhmmmm vent post in tags cuz it's 2am and I can't slepe and nooooo ones gonna see it

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for posting unspecified fetish content?

I'll try to keep the exposition short. I draw and post sweat fetish content on Twitter. My account has NSFW/"adult only" warnings and I block any minors that I see. Recently, I posted a drawing of two characters exercising together; there were no explicit genitals or anything, but it still had obvious kink elements. I don't usually tag my kink art with any content warnings as it was pretty run-of-the-mill for what I post on that account. Something worth nothing is I tend to draw for one main fandom. It's a family friendly media with a good chunk of it's online fanbase being kids. The characters I draw are adults.

When I checked my notifications a while after it was posted, I noticed one of my drawings got more interactions than usual. I usually get around 100-200 likes on my art, and this one had around 400 when i checked. I saw a lot of new accounts in my notifications, too. I went through the likes on the post and, unfortunately for me, the post had breached containment and entered normie territory. At first I thought it was funny, but as I looked a bit further I saw there were minors interacting and retweeting my art onto their main, SFW accounts. Obviously not good.

So, I posted about what happened in a NSFW fandom discord server in a sort of "this weird thing happened to me and I don't know how to feel about it" way. It ended up starting a bit of an argument in there, with some people laughing it off as normies just not knowing better and others viewing it as an oversight on my end.

Anyways, after a bit of back and forth (I was just kind of watching people talk about it), a server member K replied to my original message with a multiple paragraph long message saying that what I did was dangerous. He said that hiding fetishes in SFW art is a breach of consent (which, for the record, is a sentiment I generally agree with) and claimed that what I did is the same thing groomers do to desensitize kids to sexual content. I responded by saying that I posted my fetish content to a fetish account and one glance at my profile makes it clear my art is not meant to be viewed by kids. He responded to me saying that if I was truly worried about preventing grooming, I would've taken the post down. The argument stopped there because that's when the mods stepped in, asking people to take it to DMs. I did end up deleting and reposting the drawing, but not before I saw K vagueposting about fetish mining in the fandom we're both in.

Should I be more clear when it comes to posting fetish content that isn't explicitly sexual? I honestly feel like it's an overreaction on K's part, but I do understand the anxiety around being accused of grooming. And, unfortunately, trying to "trick" people into making fetish content isn't uncommon online either, so I do get where he's coming from there. Overall, I just want to make sure I didn't do anything predatory on accident.

What are these acronyms?

[pommunist]

(Désolée pour le pavé, j'avais plus de choses à dire que je pensais)

I mean, I understand that the long anon wants to trust Q and the QSMP, because I truly think that we ALL want it to get better.

But I think our vision for "making things right" is just different.

Anon seems mostly focused on the people who are still in the project and how they're changing it for the better (i assume, for future employees) , while we tend to focus on the people who were kicked out and were never contacted again.

Us pointing out that the ex admins have been ghosted for 2 months is not "detail chasing" or "talking about past mistreatment" It's literally ongoing. And it is still mistreatment.

Maybe not everyone sees it that way, I guess. I'm sure some people think they're being impatient, or they don't deserve to be talked to because they're not in the project anymore, or even consider the ex employees newfound "fame" to be at their advantage, somehow. But even so, it doesn't change the fact that none of the whistle-blowers have seen any steps taken to compensate them, or even hear them, for the months of free labor and abuse. At least, as of now.

After all, the only promise Quackity made is that he'll make things right for the people working in Qstudio in the future. So far, he said nothing about the ex employees except vagueposting about "people who want to destroy the project".

We're allowed to be skeptic and even critical about how this is all handled. And we're allowed to express said skepticism online, where we can interact with others about it. Just like anon is allowed to express their support and trust in QStudio.

The problem comes, as usual, from parasocials of all extremes sending hate to everyone involved. And I do agree that this whole thing being public is mostly to blame for that.

I do think it's too bad that it didn't happen privately, but now, it's out, and the silver lining is that it allowed other ex employees to make their mistreatment heard without feeling like they're insane for it. After all, it's been months, and only now do we hear anything. It shows that the mental pressure to "dont talk to any of your colleagues and lay low or else" really stopped people from facing their abuse with the gravity it deserved.

And honestly, seeing how they're handling it rn, I doubt that Qstudio would have taken the right steps if it had been done 100% privately.

Like, maybe we're missing some legal context here, but why did Qstudio not explicitly ask for the ex-employees' testimonies yet? Even now, with a literal union repeatedly advising them to do so, they're not doing it.

They could make a separate email adress, share it privately to all ex employees and let them send their testimonies there. They dont have to acknowledge everything immediately. They dont have to say "we will solve this in one week". But ghosting such a large chunk of the people who made your project work and only allowing them to either completely shut up or go public is... a choice. So yeah, maybe going public was necessary for them to be heard. Idk. I'm just hoping things will get better soon on that front.

Agree with everything here so not much to add except maybe :

Really I think a lot of people are looking at it like : it’s okay things will be better starting now ! While forgetting that everything that happened before still need to be adresses and solved. Not even an opinion, as this can very well be a legal matter and a serious one at that. Can’t just go "oops sorry you guys were mistreated…Anyway we’ll move on without you towards better things" that’s not how it works 😵‍💫

And for the "it should have happened privately" argument I can’t anymore because yes, ideally this is how it would have gone down. But that’s not how it went, let’s move on and more importantly let’s not blame people who talked about it, as they would have been within their right to do so even if it was done with the primary intent to expose everything. Also "it should’ve blablabla" well Qstudios should have gotten their shit together from day one and yet ! What ifs will get us nowhere.

(Et t’inquiète pour le pavé, on a vu pire ici 😭)

[chonnysinferno]

tumblr deleted my ask :( anyway first n most importantly, could you listen to bopgil https://youtu.be/rORI1sZM-9I?si=wwaYyY82DnO9VLHk

anyway can i send you odd asks more often

anyway anyway i thought that was a completely one sided thing like. yeah. sometimes i just rotate people in my mind for a bit n then stop . pokes you with stick

juke’s towers of hell is a tower styled obby game. while you may be cascading down the social spiral, perhaps you will be able to ascend one of these trauma inducing towers

my head hurts so much but i got fries i think it’s because of malnutrition i don’t eat enough

fuckin like. i made a vaguepost about you. just two star crossed tumblr users. i guess that’s probably weird whatever

at first i saw cjshippers on your dni and i was like ok. goodbye then. and then it’s just like that one time you horribly interpreted my post about aro mind which i definitely said in a way liable to misinterpretation when i maintagged it aka i should’ve known better and then someone i admired at time took your misinterpretation n that was so fear and then i avoided you and now you are just like. oh it’s that person again. in my notes. on occasion. youre a cryptid tawa mi… i spin my pencil sometimes. badly. so sometimes when i am thinking now i get the urge to spin my pencil and i am thinking abt it right now. spinning fry gets fry seasoning in my hands so. i wrote loveless aro heart but it’s in a fic i definitely didn’t intend platinically. it’s this thing right. shipping is so weird because i’m aromantic and when it comes down to it, the difference between romance ala romance just seems like wording. a label. cause friends can do everything that partners can and there’s no depth difference so like wh huh? i call it a shipfic but it could be considered as just thing different than how i usually write thing like. i make them kiss. whatever. i focus on how close an intimate they feel. but i could also do that when romance li lon ala. so. allos are so weird to me. still figuring out what i think of the word love but still. allos……. ? ? ? anyway writing relationships where it not being love ISN’T A FLAW is so so enrichment i should do it more

pokes you with a stick pokes you with a stick pokes you with a stick hiiiii hi hi hi hiii

it’s like the mutual i would usually send writing asks has established it likes ‘weird violence’ and complicated dynamics n such so i can send stuff w/o fear i know it a little bit however i don’t know. what is up. with you. i literally saved something i sent to it so i could just put that here however that feels like cheating and or betrayal. you turn the corner to your kitchen and i’m standing there. consuming ice very loudly and aggressively. recklessly even. ‘so do you think about the transient nature of any positive hms relationship’, i ask. what do you do (also i have plugged my own ice maker in btw)

also i’ve already convinced three (3) mutuals to watch centricide so if you do i will feel even more powerful like ohhhh wawa mi li kama suli…. surprisingly they didn’t eviscerate me very cool

it’s like showing up to the function like oh so you rbed that post you like those types of relationships. writes something down. ok so can i write about [paragraph redacted cause i realized maybe there’s a reason you shouldn’t put gore and cannibalism in someone’s inbox without permission. so can i put gore n cannibalism in your inbox :3]

NEW CENTRICIDE THEORY: radcen is called the ringleader of the centrists cause he

i forgot the joke fuck

i am so sorry im like. drawing funny objects (when im not supposed to0 be but SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH shhshshshshhb) and watching centricide rn sodfsdfkjkljddmklslmk im like. really scatterbrained im sorry HGAHAHGHAS yea im already watching it btw feel more poiwerful in return you should watch hfjone if you havent tho. like a trade of interests i get into yours you get into mine >:-)c sorry for like. misinteruptting that one post that one time. hides away i n shame i think that was like. the time i actually knew you existed. for a negative reason ^_^''''''''''' i try not to think about it cause i dont think ur still mad at me for that. hopefully this is goign to be like not arranged in the order of the ask (aka im not reading this in the way this is written. things are being answered in a way that makes no sense) PLEASE SEND ME ASKS even if they are odd. actually the odder the better im going to be honest with you i do not get much interaction askwise so. it brings me joy it wasnt a one sided thing LMFAO i guess i can see why ud see that. no its weird idk whats going on anymore. hi tho!!! is continously poked with a stick. youch. twitches like a bug uhjhmmhmhmhmh ill try jtoh i rememebr you ranting about it sometime but i dont rmemeber any of it i am so sorry also dont vaguepost about me. coward /JOKE that is funny thjo HAHAHAH also eat more. or i will find you. dont malnourish yourslef /silly idk about the shipping thing. i dont get shipping either im going to be honest with you romance is like. just not understandable to me??????????? i cant comprehend why this happens. what is romance continues to be poked more. stares at you i dotn know whats up with me either maybe someone else knows. i dont know much about myself so ^_^ being called a cryptid is probably the best way to describe me i feel. yeag put anything you want aslong as its not. nsfw or smth. ill smite you also can i have some ice pls ice is great wdym by relationship do you mean like. platonic??? romantic????? what do you mena byt his i think ive answered everything i keep having 2 scroll up LOL also edit (once again i know) i did enjoy the video link u sent thank u

[multi-lefaiye]

i wanna be petty so i'm gonna vaguepost about someone i haven't spoken to in like four years

anyway i was talking earlier with two of my partners about experiences in the rp group we were in together, and one thing i was talking about was that like...... the way that some folks in that group wrote disabled characters certainly left. a lot to be desired. putting it lightly.

specifically calling out the one person who wrote a character with selective mutism and then got "bored" of writing his disability so they just had him get better and stop being disabled. (and like i won't claim to be an expert on mutism, selective or otherwise, but... uh....... bruh.)

[heymacy]

Hi Macy! 10, 18, and 25 for the fandom asks please!

KAT!! HI HI HELLO!

10. a blog (mutual or one you follow) that has made your fandom experience brighter: literally every single one of you. every! single! one! but if i had to shout someone specific out it would be @gardenerian and @iansfreckles, for everything they've given me over the last few years. they'll know what i mean 💛

18. a fandom tag that you track: i actually don't track any fandom tags! is that surprising? i check the "shameless" tag sometimes to see what y'all are up to but that's about it! i might start tracking the #chappell roan tag tho bc i'm starting to be really active in that fandom. is that a fandom? it is, right? idk, i just adore her!

25. a piece of advice for taking care of yourself in fandom space: oh GOOD GOD i have so many pieces of advice for this. first, use the block button. i am not kidding. the worst thing someone can do, like the ABSOLUTE worst thing that will happen, is someone making a passive aggressive callout post about you on their page. which like, is not that bad. it's happened to me and i'm still here and kicking! second, enter every situation with zero expectations whatsoever. every interaction, every post, every piece of art you share. expect absolutely nothing to happen so that when things do happen, it's an even bigger joy. i never expect anything i post to get any traction so when it happens, it's even better than it would be if i was jonesing for notes! third, find your people. it can be one person or ten people or thirty, but find them. put yourself out there and be unapologetically YOU and the right people will gravitate. then make a group chat, a discord server, etc. and talk! talk talk talk! all the time! about fandom stuff and non-fandom stuff. share things about your life, bitch and moan, just generally engage as much as you can. i do it and it's glorious. fourth, don't feel like you need to be constantly logged in. if you're worried about not being active but your mental health is suffering, set up a queue and take a step back. do not be afraid to be inactive though, because ultimately fandom should be fun and the second it stops being fun, you HAVE to step back and take care of yourself first. engage in other non-fandom hobbies in the meantime, and if you're like me and you didn't have any when the fixation broke and your life was in shambles, find one! it will be the best form of catharsis and help bring things back into perspective. lastly, remember that IT IS NOT THAT SERIOUS. don't participate in infighting. don't make callout posts or vaguepost about stuff because it will only make things worse. rise above it. if you wanna bitch, bitch to your friends in private and be kind and courteous in public. it will save your skin and your sanity. GOD THIS WAS SO LONG but i have just learned so much and i wanted to pass it on. anyway. tallyho! i love you all 💛

[twistytwine]

Lil thing about an ex-friend! (This isn’t a vent or rant, this is just me reflecting about my own past flaws and mistakes and talking about them)

Lately, I’ve been seeing a therapist, and talking to them has allowed me to tell them all about my own flaws that I’ve observed of myself from clashes with my mom, grandma, and past friends. One of them I need to get off my chest is how I viewed one of my ex-friend’s relationships with myself. I used to think I was totally the victim in that scenario and they were an “““abuser”““, but as I got more mature, now almost eighteen years old, I’ve come to realize that we were both toxic. Not abusive, but just toxic. We were both really young teens who had good hearts but were, admittedly, kind of assholes towards each other.

I was really hypocritical criticizing them for vagueposting back then, because I also used to vaguepost. It doesn’t matter whether or not I stopped before them or they did it less; I still never admitted I vagueposted a lot too and refused to confront people straight-up about issues I had. I think the shittiest thing I did to them was, when I decided to stop being their friend for the final time, I sent them a crappy Google doc berating them for all the things they’ve done to me, but whenever I addressed my own mistakes, I always used the word “maybe.” Maybe I shouldn’t have done this. Maybe I influenced your behavior doing this. I never took on the blame full-force. I never straight-up said that I did make a mistake doing this thing, I did influence them, I did hurt them. I was always under the impression that I was bad, but at least I was better than them -- it was never about who was better than the other. It should have been about communication, understanding, and helping each other recognize their flaws instead of scolding them like a child.

They hurt me, but I also hurt them a lot. It was my fault for treating my own actions as if they were the final straw and ignoring all the infliction that came from it. And the shittiest part of the document revolved around my mindset at the time; I was really obsessed with the idea of diagnosis. Before I actually discovered that ADHD was more than just “haha I can’t focus lol” and theoretically could be the source of a lot of my mental problems, I thought that I had BPD. It came from the desperate idea of needing something to define my toxic traits, because if I didn’t have that, then what did I have? I refused to believe that my own actions came from my own hand and not some mental illness orchestrating everything in my brain. The crappiest part of this “last-response” document was me projecting all of this onto them. I believed that they could “get help” for their behavior because I thought they had BPD. I listed out the symptoms and everything. I recall there being a genuine care for them solving some of their habits, but I treated it like I was accusing them as a judge of the court.

Anyway: Both them and I hurt each other and I believe caused some trauma on each other in some way. It took me a few years to stop thinking about the things they said and did to me everyday, and I feel like it took them some time to do the same. It’s only an assumption though, and I think a better assumption would be that, like me at the moment, they’re doing better mentally and the trauma I inflicted onto them has been reduced in its effects. I used to think about them everyday and be paranoid they were vagueposting about me in other places on the internet, which triggered me whenever I saw any sort of vaguepost vent from friends, even when they weren’t about me at all and about something else. However, now I don’t vaguepost at all and only think about them once in a super duper long while, and even then it’s just a passing positive thought, hoping that they’re alright.

If there was the chance to talk to them again and apologize to them for the things I’ve done, I would. But I think it’s just been too long between us, and I admittedly don’t know if I’d be comfortable facing them again due to my memories of our unhealthy behavior towards each other. I suppose my form of relief regarding this would be thinking that they’re doing okay, and that they have new friends who accompany them like I do. 

This is completely different from that one ex-friend who (if I recall) was really mentally unstable and ended up threatening to kill me through the screen of their computer (which is not possible if I last recall how physics and logic work). I think our “friendship” started when they accidentally messaged me or something or I did to them, and then they just kept on talking to me even though we weren’t friends. I have no idea what possessed 13/14-year-old me to keep the relationship going because I had to calm them down and convince them not to murder their family, but I think it was just because young me back then craved the attention from them. This one is going into my “Young Twisty Cringe Comp”

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Been down a bit of a(nother) rabbit hole, one that is, at the moment, distracting me from being furious about things, but specifically, being furious about other people being too conciliatory and being fine with things and expecting me to be fine with things and what happened to the righteous anger that fuelled us so much in our youth? And sure it's great that you're more successful now and have to go off and mingle on big international trips with those people who have been ruining lives of people I love for most of my life, and you can smile and be respectful and diplomatic and we'll get more done by understanding that sometimes we have to work with people we don't like, but actually as much as I joke about my petty grudges it's not just petty and it's not just a joke, I hated these things for good reasons and I hate the idea that in our thirties we're supposed to just mature into thinking it's all fucking fine and get over our history. At what age does anger become an immature thing? I know I make a lot of jokes about how I was an angry rebellious loose cannon teenager, but I was in fact a teenager who'd been abused by adults in authority and failed by a system that should have protected myself and the people I loved from it, and I dedicated my adult life to trying to create a better place than that, and yeah sometimes make jokes about how the other guys suck, but that doesn't mean it really was just a silly teenage rivalry that I should mature out of now and be fine working in a terrible system and go back to get emotionally invested in more young people just to watch them get abused by the same system because we're all mature enough to work within it now, and sin of vagueposting on social media isn't so bad if you do it somewhere that you're anonymous and none of the people involved could possibly see it, right? Because I know it's a sin but I've been furious all day and needed to vent.

Anyway. Anyway. I might have been looking for someone to be angry for me in my music collection today, and I may not have found any about my specific situation (not a lot of crossover with the arts there), but I did enjoy realizing I have two songs in a very specific niche: musician who has toured with comedians and hangs out with comedians so much that they're sort of an honourary comedian, may in fact have even done some comedy, wrote a song about the 2015 UK general election to express fury about the results, but not just general fury at Tory politicians, specific frustration with the people who could have stopped it but failed to care enough to do so. Quite specific type of song.

Anyway, this rabbit hole also brought me to a Facebook livestream that Gavin Osborn did in 2021, and listening to an hour of Gavin playing gentle guitar songs is definitely a good way to calm down a bit if you're furious about things. He did some chat between the songs with the guy who organized it, and I cut out this clip where he explains the origins of his inclusion in the Chocolate Milk Gang, a story I knew but it's always fun to hear again. And they talk for a while about how great Isy Suttie is.

[vizthedatum]

this is an emotional feelings-based queer vaguepost that will only be completely understood by the people it's about (I really don't care if I have the "wrong" opinions/feelings about this situation - I think I was really hurt in a social way - and I think I know better now)

maybe we could have stayed friends if I told you that you were hurting me with your "keeping the peace" behavior earlier on

maybe we could have stayed friends if I stopped having sex with you earlier when I realized the majority of those sexual interactions were extremely unfulfilling to me (and you were dissociated for most of it)

maybe we could have stayed friends if I had better articulated what my boundaries were

maybe we could have stayed friends if I didn't latch on to you so tightly because I felt like I had limited emotional support

maybe we could have stayed friends if we weren't involved in poly situationships where we all had an emotional stake

maybe we could have stayed friends if I were one of those assholes you chase after - if I had just told you to fuck off when you were still social media friends with my ex after I filed a fucking no-contact order against them OR when you went and fucked someone I had intense feelings for and told me all about it (even if I knew that you were going to do so and even if I could have told you not to tell me - I hate that you did it all anyway. I hate that you told me on my birthday that you would go to their city to see them. I hate that I like them so much. I hate that I agonized over how to break things off with them for at least 3-4 months before I eventually did AND confided in you about it all (including all the texts I had drafted up)... and you barely cared. I hate how you treat your friends even if you do some of the right things sometimes. I hate feeling jealous because I don't like feeling like this. I hate that they liked you more than they liked me (and I hate that I feel that way because I really hate hierarchy in poly relationships). I hate that they treated you so poorly - you deserve better. I hate that you fucked them poorly (so weird to have that feeling). I hate that things weren't so fleshed out in a real ENM way that all of these feelings arose within me - and I hate that I let it all get that far. I should have retracted myself from the situation right in the beginning.)

maybe we could have stayed friends if we weren't just dissociated queer people unwilling to face the holes in ourselves due to our trauma

maybe we could have stayed friends if I weren't seriously concerned that your partner wants to leave you but isn't - I wish I didn't feel that way but I do (and I hope that it all works out with relationship repair) - but I cannot shake what she told me or what she did at my birthday party - and I'm so scared that my inaction due to my gut feelings will just catapult into a horrible outcome (is it my responsibility to do something? to say something? to get clarity on a situation that may not be in my place to do so?)

maybe we could have stayed friends if I didn't know how much of a gossip you were... and how you probably gossip about me behind my back (I mean, I gossip too but not out of social currency or malice... but mostly to process tbh... sigh, here I am dumping my feelings on a personal issue about a person I deeply cared about (but am angry and resentful toward... because we aren't friends anymore on my request - and I don't want to be - but I know they have a good heart) on my public blog in the middle of the night)

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

.

[icharchivist]

On one hand, with all i badtalk tumblr, the fact the blacklist works so that it hides a post if the OP posted it with a tag you blacklisted is a real savior when you follow blogs who don’t tag or stuff like that. 

the downside is that 1) vagueposts that had been crosstagged in multiple tags get hiden while they’re not specific to what you’re blacklisting, 2) you know exactly what the vaguepost was about and it can make a post you would have had no problem with annoy you so damn much at once.

[partiallystar]

i need to remember to make myself cry when nobody’s home so i can like really go at it to be honest like i need to be obnoxious about it and get some good shuddering sobs in there 

[wordsablaze]

Live And Let Livestream

Jaskier's saturday nights are reserved for livestreams but sometimes they end up including wikipedia fraud, protective boyfriends who only half-know how to use the internet, and a spontaneous sleepover instead...

A/N: this is just a bit of fun inspired by the jaskel discord - love y’all <3

-

Having a wikipedia page is pretty impressive and since Jaskier strives to be both pretty and impressive, it’s no surprise that he has one.

Well, he actually has two but nobody needs to know that. Either way, for someone as bothered about his reputation as he is, he pays very little attention to his wiki, often forgetting he’s even that level of famous until Yennefer teases him about it. Or until something inevitably goes wrong - It just so happens that he’s in the middle of a livestream when something does inevitably go wrong.

“...and yes, this is a new shirt, thank you for noticing, um- sorry, i didn’t catch your user! I’ll drop a link so we can all be scandalous together, hang on!”

He’s just about picked up his phone to check he’s got the right website in mind when it starts ringing. Cursing softly as he literally jumps, he shoots a guilty grin at his computer. “Can you guys pretend that didn’t happen so I can pretend I still have some dignity? Thanks, just give me a second…”

Ordinarily, he’d just put his phone on silent because all of his important friends know he spends Saturday evenings and often nights livestreaming. But it’s Eskel calling and he’s not about to be rude and decline someone who bakes him brownies whenever he has a meltdown now, is he?

“Is everything okay, darling?” he asks.

“Can you end your stream early? I think you’ll regret giving people a live reaction to this.”  

Jaskier frowns harder, reluctant to break his promise to the followers he only somewhat childishly considers to be his friends. “What is it? Are you all okay?”

He hears Eskel sigh. “Maybe at least mute the thing?”

Rolling his eyes, he clicks the mute button and types the link for his shirt into the chat along with a brief apology before focusing back on Eskel. “You’re worrying me, what happened?”

“So you know that wikipedia page we were talking about the other day?”

He nods, then realises Eskel can’t see him. “Uh yes, my page, what about it?”

“You might want to take a moment to take a minute to see for yourself?”

“What is it with you guys and being so cryptic? You don’t even all share the same genes so it can’t be that. Maybe it’s just the kind of people I attract, not that I’m complaining per se but still,” Jaskier mutters to himself even as he googles his own name.

He truly has no idea what Eskel was trying to get at until the page loads properly, at which point he blinks at the photo staring back at him. The photo that is most definitely not the one Essi had jokingly submitted and somehow managed to keep there because shut up about my terrible phone camera quality already, you actually look candid so who cares?

“Is this a joke, Esk? What the…” he trails off, scrolling to find lists of achievements and songs and facts that really shouldn’t be associated with his name. Not that it’s his name currently on the page.

“Oh, for the love of-" his breath hitches as he sees a parody of his own song written off as Valdo's- "actually, screw that! There is no love here, what exactly does he think he’s doing? Ugh, can’t a guy livestream in peace nowadays?”

“I’m sorry, Jas. Geralt just told me and I-”

“Geralt was on my wiki?” Jaskier finds himself asking, grinning at the very thought.

“I… wasn’t supposed to tell you that. Uh, yeah? I mean, he actually came and asked me how to email wikipedia but we kind of figured it out from there so…”

Jaskier laughs despite his frustration, his urge to punch Valdo morphing into an urge to kiss his boyfriends. “Who’s ‘we’, by the way?”

Before Eskel can answer, Jaskier’s computer starts rapidly beeping, at which point he turns back to the live and promptly curses when he sees the dozens of messages in the chat asking who Valdo Marx is or, from people who already know who he is, messages asking whether they have permission to throw hands; he'd be lying if he said those messages don't warm his heart.

“I didn’t mute the thing properly. Gods, I’m turning into Vesemir,” Jaskier groans, then slaps his free hand over his mouth and glares at his camera. “None of you tell him I said that, you hear me? I do love him so.”

“How would they even find Vesemir?” Eskel asks in his ear, clearly amused.

“Remind me to remind you how deeply the internet works later. More importantly, you haven’t mentioned Lambert or Aiden yet and I know for a fact they were heading to yours today so…?” Jaskier asks, hoping the former hasn’t punched a wall again or anything like that.

Eskel clears his throat awkwardly. “Yeah, they were heading to ours but they… well, uhm, they called to say they took a detour.”

“To mine?” Jaskier asks, frowning at the thought. He’s more than capable of fixing his own wiki page and as much as he appreciates the moral support, he doesn’t really need any of his loved ones’ presence for such a trivial matter. And anyway, he was already planning on joining the others in the morning so they could spend Sunday together, which means coming over to his makes no sense.

“No, not to yours. To Valdo’s…”

Jaskier’s eyes widen.

Throwing hands on social media is one thing but he doesn’t want any kind of misleading vagueposting from the likes of people who need to steal other people’s wikipedia pages in the direction of people who have no fault other than mildly violent forms of love, and especially not on his behalf.

“What are you still doing on the phone? Go derail their detour! I’ll be there as soon as I can too,” Jaskier says to Eskel, blowing him a kiss through the phone because he knows it’ll make the other man blush.

Once he’s hung up, he turns back to his camera with a pout. “Right, sorry guys, I’ll have to cut this one short so my darling idiots don’t ruin their evenings for the sake of a pathetic leech who just will not let me live! Okay, I promise some cute instagram selfies in exchange for this mess but for now, I’ll see you next week! Alright, bye!”

This time he does press the right buttons and closes both the live and the computer down even as he grabs his coat. Forgoing socks in favour of making sure nobody except Valdo’s weekend gets ruined - he already knows Yennefer or Renfri will be more than happy to throw shade his way to make him regret his failed publicity stunt - and pulling on a pair of boots really not designed for driving, he makes his way out of his apartment as fast as humanly possible.

There’ll be time to be angry at Valdo again later but he’s more than aware that between his family, his friends, and his followers, it’s simply not a big deal. He signed up for drama when he signed up for being famous and yes, he loves fighting against anyone or anything that tries to stop him from sharing his music, but he’s really not about to waste any more time worrying about all that at the moment.

At the end of the day, it's nice to be pretty impressive but there's nothing better than being pretty loved.

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what are the logistics of this au? whatever you want them to be ;)

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thanks for reading! masterlist | witcher blog: @itsjaskier